Couchtavia

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Octavia, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 14347

Octavia's new to Ponyville, and she just bought a used couch. As it turns out, she has to move the heavy thing clear across town on her lonesome. That isn't the problem. The problem is these damn crazy ponies who won't stop pesterin

Octavia's new to Ponyville, and she just bought a used couch. As it turns out, she has to move the heavy thing clear across town on her lonesome. That isn't the problem. The problem is these damn crazy ponies who won't stop pestering her.

Cover Art by faloxx

Published 2013-05-08 18:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-08 18:30:02 UTC

At Least It Smells Nice

Ponyville was a small town, but that didn't keep Octavia from getting lost. She had only been there for a week, and each of those seven days had been spent in her downstairs apartment at the south end of town, patiently waiting for her musical supplies to arrive from Canterlot. At least, she thought that it was the south end of town. Looking through the streets where she had been trotting in circles for the past hour, Octavia was beginning to have her doubts that a simple compass rose would help her ascertain up from down in this little village.

At that precise moment, she paused at a crossroads, standing perfectly still, trying her darndest not to sweat from the glow of the early morning sun. There was a part of her that wanted to give a good first impression to her new neighbors, and an even larger part of her that simply wanted to maintain a straight mane, a prim and proper bow tie, and a pleasant aroma. Octavia graciously accepted whatever small shadow the nearby street sign afforded. All the while, the elegant mare squinted at a series of directions hastily scribbled across a sheet of paper gripped in the crook of her hoof.

A dainty sigh escaped her lips. Octavia tilted her thin-eyed gaze towards her immediate surroundings. Every golden-thatched cottage of Ponyville looked the same as the next. Gone were the artistic flare and heterogenous grandeur of Canterlot architecture. Here, everything was simple and small. The sky was open for inspection, allowing her an uninterrupted view of the midday sun and how swiftly it was running away from her. At this rate, she'd be late for her destination, or worse, sunburnt.

As fate would have it, the friendliest of voices drifted her way from the crowd of pleasant ponies leisurely trotting along the path beside her. "Well, howdy! You look plum lost, if I don't mind sayin' so myself."

With no rise to her eyelids, Octavia calmly glanced over. The first thing she saw was a splash of freckles, followed by the polite tipping motion of a brown hat before the mare in question smiled at her. "Name's Applejack. I run an apple farm just outside of town, and I happen to know this village like the back of my hoof. I'm always willin' to lend some help to a neighbor in need."

Octavia blinked, then gently smiled.

"Whaddya got there, sugarcube?" Applejack pointed at the sheet of paper in Octavia's grip. "Mind if I take a gander?"

Octavia shook her head. Shuffling over, she held it for the farm mare to see.

With squinting green eyes, Applejack scanned the words on the sheet. "Hmmm... 483 Heave End..." She brightened. "Why, shucks! That's Nurse Redheart's place! You and her fast friends or what?"

With a shrug, Octavia bore a bashful smile.

"If yer gonna shake hooves with a pony on a regular basis, might as well be a pony who knows how to put 'em back together when they break. Well, that's what Granny always says, and I stand by them words." Applejack chuckled to herself, sighed, then smiled once more. "Tell you what, I'll show you the way there! I ain't sellin' fruit in the marketplace for a good two hours now, what with this bein' the weekend and all. Come along, why don'tcha?"

Octavia nodded. Applejack's trot was a brisk one, and Octavia's frail limbs scrambled to keep up. Thankfully, though, Applejack took swift notice of the new resident's fatigue, and she slowed her movement to a far more even pace, which produced a grateful smile across the city slicker's muzzle.

"Somethin' tells me yer used to a part of Equestria where the buildings grow faster than the grass," Applejack said, stifling a chuckle.

In response, Octavia merely bit her lip.

"Well, don't you sweat the transition none. I once lived in the city for a few months when I was a little filly: Manehattan, as a matter of fact. As soon as I came back to good ol' Ponyville, I realized what I loved about the country so much. Out here, there really ain’t a reason to stress anythang. City folk: they're constantly gettin' migraines over one issue or another. And for what? Sometimes, I think ponies are their own worst enemies. Well, except for beavers. Celestia help me; I know I'm supposed to love and tolerate, but I sure do dislike beavers somethin' awful..."

Octavia blinked, raising an eyebrow in Applejack's direction.

Applejack had a lingering scowl on her face. Nevertheless, she shook it off and smiled in time to stop and gesture happily towards a buildingfront. "Aaaaaand here we are! I toldja I'd get you to where you needed to go!" She pointed at the balcony looming above them. "If I remember right, Nurse Redheart lives up there on the second floor. Go on up there and knock on her door. She's usually up early on Saturdays, waterin' her rose bushes." She chuckled. "Oh, don't be gettin' the wrong idea or nothin'. Here in Ponyville, just about every neighbor knows what the other's up to. We're all pretty close knit like that. It's still mighty easy to keep one's privacy intact, though. Just don't be surprised if the locals wanna chat you up. It's habit, I reckon."

Octavia nodded slowly, dazedly. Her eyes weren't locked on the apartment, but rather something that was lying in front of it.

"Whew! What's this town comin' to, leavin' garbage lyin' around on the weekend?" Applejack remarked with a frown as she glared at a beige shape propped up against the curve. "If I lived on this block, I'd have a good mind to take that couch behind the woodshed and put it out of its misery!" She shrugged. "Oh well." With a pleasant smile, she waved at the new Ponyvillean and marched off towards the market district. "The apples won't sell themselves! Stop on by anytime this afternoon! I'll give ya a discount!" With an emerald-eyed wink, she was gone.

Eyes blinking suspiciously, Octavia watched her go. Once she was alone, she took a deep breath and cautiously approached the couch as if it was a barrel full of loaded bear traps. The right hoofrest of the furniture blocked her view of the rest. When Octavia trotted around the end of the furniture, she instantly winced and a strand or two of dark brown hair fell loose from her bangs.

The couch was as attractive as baby condors were beautiful. It was a vomit beige thing with splotches of gray rectangular patterns overlapped with one another. The surface texture of the three cushions were spotty at best, with tiny popcorn kernels of fuzz poking loose from the frayed corners and seams.

The mare brushed her mane straight and tried to keep her breakfast in the longer that she looked at the abomination. In truth, Octavia wasn't entirely sure what she had expected. In the fitful dreams she had experienced since answering Redheart's ad in the Ponyville Classifieds section of the town bulletin board, the mare had imagined something a bit more... colorful. She blinked, and in those blinks she saw something shiny, something pristine, something burgundy.

Burgundy...

Octavia's heart filled with butterflies at the thought. Burgundy with the scent of lavender. She sighed happily, but soon lost her smile in a fit of lethargic nostalgia. Everything was so pristine, ornate, and squeaky clean at her apartment in Canterlot. In fact, the only thing that drove her out of that place was the noise... and maybe the ever-lingering threat of a changeling attack. But mostly the noise.

Here, Ponyville promised peace, quiet, and a perfect place for writing Octavia's latest instrumentals. If only it promised her some interior decorating as well, then maybe she wouldn't be having to resort to such... simple means of procuring a complement to her utterly barren living room.

Stifling a groan, Octavia trotted hesitantly closer to the grotesque sofa. Inspection was a must, even if every waking inch of her feared a leprotic infection upon so much as touching the cushions of the thing. Nevertheless, she reached forward, as if shoving her forelimb down the maw of a salivating lion, and at last her hoof graced the pliable surface. A jolt ran through her heart. She blinked in mixed shock and alarm, then proceeded to rub her hoof even more firmly across the plushness.

It was by far the softest texture she had felt in ages.

Fidgeting, Octavia looked over her shoulder. She flung an additional glance to the left and right. Satisfied that none of her new neighbors were watching, the elegant mare climbed the sofa, her lower legs scrambling a bit for even hoofing. Getting used to the dimensions of the couch, she crawled onto the center seat of the thing.

Octavia's breath left her; it felt just like cuddling up in the middle of a cloud. At least, that's the best metaphor she could give the electric sensations rippling up and down her spine. She turned around three times and sat on folded limbs in the center. The mare couldn't believe how unbelievably comfortable the thing felt. She almost completely forgot about its garrishness then and there. Her eyelids became heavy, and with a relaxed grin she allowed them to fall shut.

Taking deep breaths of the morning dew, she imagined that she was nestled—along with the couch—in the center of her apartment, with the fireplace lit and a book of music theory nestled between her hooves as she draped an afghan over her freshly showered figure upon the verge of soft, star-serenaded evening.

So entrancing was the thought, that she nearly drifted off into dreamland right there and then. At some point, Octavia's head must have fallen limply, for a rustling noise lit the air behind her mane, between her ears. Her head was brushing up against paper.

Her eyes fluttered open. With a quizzocal expression, she stood up and crawled around. A note was taped to the center backrest of the sofa. Curious, Octavia yanked the note off the soft surface of the furniture and raised it to her squinting eyes. Familiar hoofwriting shimmered under the morning sun's glow.

Dear Miss Octavia,

Something's come up. I was called in for an emergency shift at Ponyville Hospital. I barely had time to write this note. The couch is still yours, as agreed, but I won't be available to help you move it today. I won't be available to do much of anything for the next thirty-six hours at least. I'm so sorry. I'll send you a telegram when I'm ready to lend a hoof like I planned to.

Sincerely,
-Nurse Redheart

Octavia blinked. She chewed the end of her lip, glancing between the letter and the deliciously soft feel of the couch beneath her. The words of Nurse Redheart were obvious and to the point. And, yet, Octavia gave a few light bounces, and the couch felt even more heavenly comfortable than when she first plopped down upon it.

She sighed. Reluctantly, Octavia climbed down from the couch and trotted a lethargic circle around it. She tongued the inside of her mouth in thought. For a moment, she turned to face the far end of town, thinking about hitting up a local moving company. Then it occurred to her that this was a Saturday, and most services would be unavailable in a quaint town such as this.

Her nostrils flared. With a sad expression, she turned from the couch and made to trot back towards the south end of town. Octavia only got about twenty feet away when she stopped in her tracks. She closed her soft violet eyes, and once more she was transported to some magical dreamworld where a comfortable couch and a toasty warm fireplace awaited her after a long lavender bath. She was willing to forgive the used furniture for its horrible color. On that note, Octavia realized she could forgive herself for what she was about to do next.

Turning around, the mare trotted firmly up to the couch. She approached it from the side, paused, then shuffled around to the far end of it. With a deep breath, she grasped two front hooves around the base and tried pulling. She tugged and tugged and strained and tugged some more. Her hooves slipped, and she nearly fell back into a patch of dirt beside the curb. Straightening her mane and bowtie, she stood in place, catching her breath, fidgeting.

At last, with a bright expression, Octavia trotted to the opposite end of the couch. She tried pushing this time. There was still a bit of strain involved, but she immediately made progress. With a grinding noise, the couch slid forward, making faint but relatively harmless grooves in the grass and soil beneath her. With a proud smile, Octavia held her breath and pushed a little further.

Success: she was now a good fifteen feet from Nurse Redheart's front garden. The apparent simplicity of this task impressed Octavia so much that she didn't think much of the blatant absurdity that colored it. The vision of a soft evening spent on an even softer sofa goaded her onwards, and soon—between even breaths and firmly flexing muscles—she found herself shoving the beige thing swiftly towards the south end of town, empowered by a brisk spring in her step and an even brisker smile.

After an hour of this had passed, Octavia wanted to kill herself.

She slumped and fell on her knees multiple times, struggling to catch her breath. She felt her limbs aching all the way to her dainty hooves. Ultimately, Octavia shoved the hulking piece of furniture towards the edge of a street corner, then proceeded to lean against it, wheezing and panting for breath.

Octavia was not a strong pony; she was suddenly at a lost to consider herself a clever one as well. She should have known how stupidly hard this task was going to be. All of the whimsical notions that had previously motivated her now fell flat, as did the noodle-thin muscles clinging to her throbbing limbs.

Propping herself up against a hoofrest, she straightened her mane for the umpteenth time that morning and stared forlornly into the sky. Octavia pondered abandoning the thing there with some supremely complicated note, begging that nopony would steal it between then and the following Monday when she could actually afford to hire a moving service to do the banal gruntwork for her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a horrendous wailing voice sounding off from the sky overhead. "Aaaaugh! I-I can't control it! Look out below, everyponyyyyy!"

Octavia blinked. She looked up, then gasped. As a dark shadow loomed over her, she thought swiftly then sprung into action. With a breathy grunt, she shoved the couch four feet forward, just in time for the cushions to safely catch a falling lavender streak of a figure.

"Ooomf!" Twilight Sparkle landed dead-center in the couch with a flurry of bright pastel feathers. She sat up, her eyes rotating in opposite directions. Shaking the cobwebs loose, she blinked evenly, then glanced down at the super-soft couch lying beneath her. "Good grief! What luck! How did... I mean who...?"

Octavia cleared her throat.

Twilight looked up, nervously straightening her bangs with a jittery hoof. "Uhm, hello there. Thank you so very much for the save, Miss. But tell me..." She winced, her teeth chattering. "I didn't hurt any bystanders, did I? Oh please say that I didn't hurt any other ponies this time!"

With an awkward smile, Octavia merely shrugged and shook her head.

"Oh, good..." Twilight slumped over on the couch, catching her breath. "I am still getting used to this 'flying' stuff, and it's so aggrivating! Nnnngh!" She tossed her mane, along with a rolling of her eyes, as she said, "Rainbow Dash needs to get her facts straight before she even tries giving me flight advice! Warm air currents rise over land masses, not bodies of water! To think, she's been flying all her life and still she doesn't know how to articulate the physics of—"

Twilight froze in mid-speech. She glanced over, squinting at the mare with the violet bow-tie.

"Wait a moment... I know you..." Twilight slowly smiled. "Yes! Of course! You're Octavia! The acclaimed cellist of Canterlot! You used to perform front stage at the Grand Galloping Gala—" She winced suddenly. "Oh, erm... right. I'm guessing you don't want to remember one particular Gala that happened two years ago. My stars..." She gazed off into space, stroking her mane in a noticeably pensive manner. "...has it really been that long? Feels like it was only yesterday..."

Octavia merely blinked at her.

"Well, any rate, fancy meeting you here." Twilight Sparkle climbed off the couch and stood evenly with the pony. "I guess after that one Gala, any self-respecting musician would want to exit through Canterlot. Do tell me: are you living here now?"

Octavia held a hoof out and twisted it from side to side. She lowered her forelimb and proceeded to stare at both Twilight's horn and her wings in equal curiosity.

"Hmmm? Oh... erm... right..." Twilight blushed a deeper shade of lavender as she flexed and unflexed her wings. "A pony doesn't see stuff like this everyday, does she? To be honest, I'm still getting used to it myself. D-don't freak out or anything! I... uh... I may be a 'princess' now, but that doesn't mean I'm exactly royal material."

The earth pony raised her eyebrow.

"Er, what I mean is..." Twilight Sparkle sighed and leaned back against the couch. "I really don't wanna be lifted on a pedestal or dressed up or treated like I'm more special than anypony else. Because I'm not! More special, that is. Heh... if anything, I'm just lucky. The whole thing is still new to me; I really can't put it into words." She fidgeted, digging at a clump of dirt beside the couch with a shivering hoof. "And it doesn't help that Princess Celestia is asking that I write a letter to the Court of Canterlot, detailing my first month as an alicorn. I really don't know what to say! Should I produce another verbose, epic, lengthy essay like I'm used to doing?! Or would that be too... I dunno, pretentious? I feel like I've got so many new responsibilities, and yet so few of them. It's all so confusing. I almost wish... that things were simpler, like before I got my wings. They're nice for flying and helping me think about stuff, like pacing in mid-air... heh... but for the most part, they just feel like extra weight, and I don't know what to do with them half the time."

Octavia was fiddling with her bow tie at this point, a habit she was used to whenever she tried to think or reflect on what other ponies were telling her. After a space in time, she froze, then pointed forward with her hoof.

"Hmmm...?" Twilight blinked. "What...?"

Octavia gestured again. Twilight followed the direction of her hoof, and found that the earth pony was pointing at the six twinkling stars of her cutie mark.

The rookie princess smiled. "Hmmm... I guess it's not really much of a weight, after all. I mean, all of this started when I found my friends, and I discovered the spark of magic that changed my life forever." She sighed and leaned back against the couch with a satisfied grin. "And it was a change for the better. It truly was. Half of the time, I forget that I'm a princess, because I'm just so happy to have made the close companions in my life. They're the true source of my happiness. Nothing else."

To that, Octavia smiled calmly and nodded.

"You know what, why am I sweating the small stuff?" Twilight stood up straight, flexing her wings. "I'm going to go write that essay! It doesn't have to be long. It doesn't have to be epic, even! All it needs is to be honest, and from the heart, which is precisely the sort of sincerity that earned me these wings to begin with!" Trotting towards her treehouse, she glanced over her shoulder and called back, "Thank you so much for hearing me out, Miss Octavia! You're a goddess-send!"

Waving her off, Octavia maintained a polite smile. Once the door to Twilight's treehouse had opened and closed shut, she exhaled a deep sigh, her gray ears folding back. With a lethargic flaring of her nostrils, she trotted back to the side of the couch, took a deep breath, and resumed shoving the damnable thing across the heart of Ponyville.

By noon, she had reached the downtown area. The couch's grinding sojourn crossed shadows with a majestic fountain statue of Princess Celestia located a dozen trots from the front steps to Ponyville's Town Hall.

Octavia's muscles ached, but she was starting to get used to the weary exercise. Surviving on pure adrenaline alone, she channeled all of her fury and frustration into the motions. In a matter of hours, she figured, she would have this thing at her apartment, and then everything she ever fantasized about the comfortable furniture would come true, even if there was no color burgundy to be had.

She just knew that her limbs would be too achy and stiff the next few nights to afford practicing the cello. But it was all for the best. Once Octavia was home, she'd carry her own smelly, sweaty body over the thresshold and have a long, soothing lavender bath. Then she'd dry off before the fireplace, enjoying the plushest seat in all of Equestria beneath her as she let the weariness of the day carry her through the toastiness and into a relaxed state of dreaming, where only the best muses of musical inspiration were born.

The very thought of it brought a drunken smile to Octavia's already weary lips. For a moment there, she couldn't tell what was moistening her lips: the sweat from her constant toil, or far less ladylike drool—

"Please, stop!"

Octavia froze in place, her heart pounding. Wiping a few beads of sweat from her fuzzy gray brow, she stood up straight, looking around. All that surrounded the couch was grass and sweltering sunlight.

Shrugging, the earth pony propped herself up against the couch once again and began pushing, shoving.

"Will you please stop?!" The voice was breathy, weak, yet earnest. "J-just for a brief moment!"

Octavia froze again. Blinking, she craned her neck over the hoofrest, squinting.

A yellow pegasus was nervously ushering a pale snapping turtle across the grassy knoll. With a humming sound, she coaxed the thing into the wet pool at the base of the Celestia fountain.

"Now there you go, Snappy McTurtlesmith." Fluttershy smiled as she patted the reptile's bobbing head. "It's much, much safer here than in the busy street where ponies are coming and going as they please. Cool off some, and I promise that I'll be back later this afternoon to give you some delicious green lettuce."

Octavia raised an eyebrow at the good-neighborly act between equine and turtle.

Fluttershy turned, hovering, and smiled at the earth pony. "Do forgive me for being so rude in asking you to stop all of the sudden. It's just that Snappy McTurtlesmith doesn't have his glasses today, and he wouldn't have seen you coming with that piece of furniture you're shoving so quickly across the grass. My name is Fluttershy, by the way. Uhm... I'm in charge of protecting the animals around town here." She gulped and touched down with a soft flap of her wings. "If you don't mind me asking, Miss, are you really having to move this big couch all on your lonesome?"

Octavia straightened her mane, glanced at the couch, then glanced back at Fluttershy.

The pegasus' aquamarine eyes blinked. "You... you are, aren't you?! Oh, you poor, poor thing! That must be the worst punishment ever!"

Octavia shrugged—then gasped as Fluttershy was suddenly staring her down with a concerned frown.

"Did somepony force this upon you?! Don't you know that a pony's couch is her own?! Only she has the right to decide what's done to it!" After a pause, Fluttershy leaned back with a proud smile on her face. "See? I've been taking seminars!" She squeed, her wingtips fluttering. "There really is nothing worse than forced pony furniture. It's a bigger epidemic in Equestrian than most equines think."

Wincing, Octavia simply nodded.

"Oh! I know!" Fluttershy trotted over to the end of the couch. "I can help you! Why don't you take a moment to catch your breath and allow a kind neighbor to carry some of the workload for you? I'm good at that—er, kindness, I mean. Moving couches isn't exactly my talent, b-but I'm willing to branch out! That's what the seminars are all about, after all: 'Try something new everyday.' Ahem." She gritted her teeth and shoved, shoved, shoved against the couch. "And wh-what... nnngh... b-better way to try new things... mmmf... th-then to do so assertively?"

Octavia bit her lip and reached a hoof over to stop Fluttershy—

"Oh no no no! I insist! Nnngh!" Fluttershy shoved and shoved her frail yellow weight against the sofa. "Always... w-willing to help out... a friend in need...!"

Sighing, Octavia stood back and watched, her forelimbs folded.

Forty-five minutes later...

"Mmmmf... Nnnngh... Guhhh!" Fluttershy finally slumped down, panting and wheezing for breath. Her pink mane had become a sweat-slicked mat of pastel strands. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hooves were dirty from grinding ceaselessly against the dirt. "I... I-I think that about... d-does it for me, Miss..." She gulped, straightened her bangs, and stood up. "How far did I move it? I didn't push it past the edge of town, did I?"

Octavia sighed. With a tired smile, she stepped aside, revealing the stone fountain of Princess Celestia lying two feet of grinded earth away.

Fluttershy's jaw dropped.

Snappy McTurtlesmith glanced at her from the fountain's edge with two slitted eyes blinking. With a nervous jolt, the reptile splashed back into the water, disappearing from sight.

"Ohhhhhhh... I j-just can't do anything right!" Fluttershy kicked at the grass, but in so doing threw her dizzied self for a loop. "Whoahh... oh my... oh g-goodness..." She began to stumble and teeter.

Octavia trotted over in time to catch her. With no effort whatsoever, the earth pony carried Fluttershy's limp body over towards the couch and layed her atop the soft cushions. Fluttershy brought a hoof up to her silken forehead, catching her breath in the baking sun. At long last, she stirred, then sat up, her face brandished with a guilty expression.

"I only wanted to help. I do so apologize for taking up your time."

Octavia hopped up on the couch beside her, shrugged, and sat back against the hoofrest.

"You... you did catch your breath, at least?"

Fluttershy was answered with an amicable grin.

"Oh, well that's good, at least," Fluttershy said with a nervous smirk. She slumped back against the backrest and gazed off towards the blue sky beyond the rooftop of Ponyville Town Hall. Songbirds chirped over the two couch-seated ponies as she murmured, "Ever since I made some really good friends here in town, I've been trying and trying to pull my weight around here. It just gets so hard at times. I wonder if I'm really helpful..." She gulped. "...or just plain useless, like... l-like some of my siblings used to say about me."

Octavia raised a curious eyebrow at that.

"Oh, it's not as bad as I make it sound," Fluttershy added with a pensive titter. "Brothers and sisters are all about teasing, after all, even if it sometimes involves gluing my hooves together... or dousing my bed blankets in rainbow factory runoff... or dr-dropping me from a thundercloud while I'm asleep..."

An awkward grimace ran through Octavia's body.

"But, the ponies around here are a lot nicer than the family I grew up with, and that's a good thing. Still, I feel as though I let them down more than they're willing to admit. Kindness is an amazing thing, but sometimes it's used as a crutch to make ponies blind to their faults, because nopony wants to hurt another pony's feelings too badly, even if the truth is what's needed to be shared..."

Fluttershy sighed, her ears twitching from the sound of songbirds. She looked sadly at Octavia.

"Ponies like you are so patient and considerate, and all I can do is make myself look like a fool when I try to do something as nice as helping move a couch—"

All of the sudden, Octavia reached out and grasped Fluttershy's right forelimb.

"Huh?" Fluttershy blinked. "Miss, what are you doing—?"

Octavia lifted Fluttershy's hoof straight up into the air. With expert timing, it happened to be when a flock of songbirds was flitting by. Two of the birds—a cardinal and a blue jay—flew down and perched on Fluttershy's limb without hesitation. They chirped happily, exchanging musical notes before glancing the pegasus' way.

Fluttershy blinked, then smiled sweetly. She raised her limb out of Octavia's gasp and leaned in to nuzzle the two songbirds. They happily accepted her embrace and whistled into the noonday sun. After emitting a clicking sound, Fluttershy jolted her hoof up, coaxing the two birds back into the air. They disappeared skyward with a flurry of colorful feathers. All was silent yet again.

"Hmmm... I guess I do have talents, huh?" Fluttershy murmured with a toasty blush to her yellow features. "Even if they aren't exactly... erm... flashy, it's good to remember them from time to time."

Octavia slowly nodded.

With a sigh, Fluttershy laid back into the plush cushions of the couch. "I should really learn to stop fretting. My friends love me for the way I am, and my family too—even if they don't know how to express it at times. I guess some things in life you really can't get from seminars." A few seconds passed, and suddenly her eyes flew open with a gasp. "Oh, goodness! It must be nearing one o'clock! I have to go back home and feed Angel his lunch! And then get lettuce for Snappy McTurtlesmith!"

With a knowing smirk, Octavia waved her on.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you with the couch further!" Fluttershy said, taking off with a flurry of yellow wings. "I hope you're well-rested, at least! If you have any pets that need caretaking, I'm on the edge of town beside a calm, babbling brook! Just... uhm... follow the sound of butterfly wings! Well, I guess you really can't hear butterfly wings. Uhm... just look for my mane! My friend Rarity says there's no mane in Ponyville as beautiful or silky as—Oh dear! That sounded very vain, didn't it?!"

Octavia cleared her throat.

"Right! Off I go! Have a pleasant afternoon, Miss!"

Fluttershy was gone.

Slowly, with even steps, Octavia dismounted from the couch and approached the end of it. With her strength renewed, she flexed her muscles and prepared to shove the thing once more—

"Oh, and thank you so very much for listening to me just now!" Fluttershy said, hovering closely from above.

Octavia hissed like a cobra.

"Right. I'm not here!" Sweating nervously, Fluttershy darted off in a yellow blur.

"And the more I think about it..." Bon Bon spoke between labored breaths as she pulled the couch from the end opposite to Octavia. "...the more I realize that ponies don't fret about it as much as I do! I mean, so what if I've had three cases of oral surgery in a row? Maybe I sound different, but it's not my fault that nature gave me such uneven teeth when I was born! At least the words coming from my mouth are the same! That makes me no different a mare than I was when these neighbors came to love me in the first place!"

Octavia nodded wearily, shoving the couch with slightly greater ease than earlier. The two mares slumped to a stop beside a splendidly furnished building four blocks away from downtown.

"Whew, what's this couch made of, dark matter?!" Bon Bon slumped against her end of it, fanning herself with a hoof. "Heheh... Yeesh." She gulped and glanced apologetically. "Now, I would totally help you move this thing further, Miss, but—like I said earlier—I've got a load of candies waiting in the oven for me back at my place, and Lyra absolutely hates it when the whole house smells like burnt caramel."

Straightening her sweat-stained bangs, Octavia gave Bon Bon a confused glance.

"Lyra! Lyra Heartstrings!" Bon Bon's eyes narrowed. "Don't tell me you've never heard of her!"

Octavia smiled awkwardly.

"Ungh! Well, the less she knows, the better. I swear... musicians are their own worst enemies. Er..." Bon Bon smiled nervously, waving her hooves. "No offense."

Octavia simply shrugged, panting for breath.

"Well, so long, ma'am! Best of luck to you!" Bon Bon trotted off swiftly. "Stop by the confectionary sometime! You'll love the latest masterpiece I'm working on! Blue frosted doughnut holes with cosmic sprinkles! They're 'Luna Flavored!' Heeheehee! See ya!"

After Bon Bon was gone, Octavia stared into open space. Her lips moved, quizzically repeating four syllables in awkward silence. After a few seconds, she shook her head, sighed, and prepared to brace her shoulder firmly against her end of the couch yet again.

"Octavia?!"

The earth pony froze dead still, bent over, her eyes wide.

"Octavia from Canterlot?!"

She scurried behind the couch, away from the voice. Straightening her bow-tie and freeing her brow of copious amounts of sweat, she eventually stood up straight, her nose tilted up and her eyes thin in a regal pose.

The sight that greeted her was ten times as fabulous, though a nervous twinge of excitement pulled at the flabbergasted unicorn's otherwise straight features. "Oh my stars! It truly is you! I knew it from the moment I first saw you passing by the front windows! Of all the places in Ponyville, you should wind up in front of my very own Boutique!"

Octavia blinked. She gazed up at the tall building on the other side of the couch. Carousel ponnyquins decorated the outer rim of the structure, their polished bodies glinting in the afternoon sun. When Octavia looked back down, she jolted back.

The unicorn was leaning over the back of the couch with a marvelous grin thrusted straight in Octavia's face. "My name is Rarity and I am oh-so-a-fan of your work! You are the absolute pinnacle of symphonic sound and Canterlot chamber music! I can't count how many times your soothing strings have put me to sleep! With contentment, I-I mean!" She chuckled nervously, albeit elegantly. "Your music is anything but boring, of c-course!"

Octavia smiled nervously, flinging a hoof forward as she shrugged.

"What in Celestia's name is a mare as affluent and refined as you doing out here in the boondocks of Ponyville?!"

Octavia fidgeted, pretending not to acknowledge the existence of an ugly beige couch that she had just spent most of the day shoving halfway across a lowly farm town. She ran a hoof through her mane and fumbled to gesture something.

"No no no no no no!" Rarity trotted around the couch and raised a hoof up to Octavia's face. "Don't you speak! Don't you even say a single word!"

Octavia's brow furrowed. She could already feel fresh beads of sweat forming on her already dirtied coat.

Rarity grinned wickedly. "As a matter of fact, darling, I can read your mind!"

With a nervous flinch, Octavia glanced at the couch, then back at the unicorn.

Rarity jumped straight up, her legs wobbling in mid-air. "You've come here to model for my nationally-famous Canterlot fashion! But of course!" She giggled like a schoolfilly.

Octavia did a double-take. She shook her head and furiously waved her forelimbs—

Rarity snatched one hoof and tugged the flailing earth pony towards the heart of the boutique. "Oh, please, don't be modest! I know a plea for the spotlight when I see it! I'm going to make you feel like a duchess, darling! Just you wait and see!"

A breathy whimper escaped Octavia's lips as she felt herself being dragged into the dressmaker's shop. She stretched a helpless hoof towards the couch as it grew distant and lonely in her vision, like an abandoned foal.

Three cocktail dresses, two evening gowns, and one silken kimono later, Octavia stood—sighing—atop a pedestal flanked with tall, diamond-encrusted mirrors. Through her peripheral vision, she saw a dozen reflections of herself, all clad in a ridiculously fluffy cloud of skirts, skirts, and more skirts. Beyond the puffy sleeves encasing her forelimbs, she saw the barest hint of a white horn from where a certain unicorn squatted, fidgeting with the multiple hems she was patching together with the aid of various sewing instruments hovering by her side.

"Now..." Rarity spat a few needles out from her mouth and floated them into a cushion as she sewed up another length of skirts. "I know this particular outfit just screams 'Foalita,' but do not be dismayed! As it so happens, this is the latest trend in fashion, and if I may say so, darling, you are absolutely perfect for the look!"

Octavia's nostrils flared as she looked off into the myriad of reflections surrounding her.

"Oh, yes! I've always envied your luscious mane and how it richly compliments the sheen of your stone-gray coat! You always looked so glamorous in those celebrity photo-ops, my dear." For the millionth time that hour, Rarity couldn't contain a squeal of delight escaping her lips. "To think! The marvelously talented and resplendent Octavia! Right here in my very own studio!"

Weathering a deep breath, Octavia closed her eyes. She tried relaxing, and for a brief moment, it worked. She wasn't standing in the center of some stuffy Boutique with an over-talkative unicorn closely orbiting her finely dressed flanks. She was instead reclined on a luxuriously soft couch, clad in a robe of burgundy terry cloth, smelling of lavender bath salts and hair conditioner, reading a book on music theory while the embers of a toasty fireplace crackled in her fuzzy ears—

"Mmmm... Now how to complete the look? Oh, I know! A fine lace choker would best replace that bowtie for the time being..."

Octavia's eyes flashed open. She jerked to see Rarity's hoof reaching for her neck. Without warning, she batted the unicorn's limb away, just inches before it could touch her bowtie.

Rarity jumped back, blinking wide. She smiled nervously. "On second thought, I-I'll just add more violet bows to the dress' hem to match the tie..."

Octavia sighed heavily, her body slumping.

Rarity hummed to herself while floating several spare bows over towards the pedestal. "Now, where was I..." She squinted, then brightened. "Oh, but of course! Princess Celestia!"

Octavia looked towards her with a forced grin, her ears twitching.

"So, like I was saying, just last month was the second time in a row that the Ruler of Equestria has called upon my dressmaking skills for a royal occasion, the first being the absolutely gorgeous wedding between Shining Armor and Princess Cadence." She had to stifle another giggle. "My my, between Celestia and Cadence and now my adorable, good friend Twilight, I do seem to be running into princesses a lot!" She fluttered her painted eyelids. "I don't suppose you're secretly an heiress to a magical kingdom yourself, Miss Octavia? You're certainly beautiful enough!"

The earth pony very seriously considered jamming a dozen of those floating needles into her eardrums.

"Well, I truly am blessed to be in such marvelous company. Although, there are times that I wonder..." A nervous frown crossed Rarity's lips for a moment. "Perhaps it is not my skill and expertise in dressmaking that has won me such fabulous attention. Perhaps it is simply my connection to Twilight alone that has graciously given me such time in the spotlight. Shining Armor is her older brother, you see, and the other time that I was allowed to design dresses for a royal occasion was—as you can guess—Princess Twilight's royal coronation."

The shadows of the passing day lingered across the lengths of the Boutique as Rarity's sighs softly joined them. She trotted to the far side of the modeling equine as she continued speaking.

"Don't get me wrong! I'm extremely happy to have been of service to Twilight Sparkle on both occasions, and any opportunity to do something in honor of Celestia's will is cause for absolute jubilation in my book. I just feel at times as if I haven't truly earned my acclaim, but instead had it donated to me. And if there's anything a pony of my stature detests, it's charity to the point of coddling."

Octavia blinked at that. She squinted down at Rarity.

Rarity paused in what she was doing, looking back.

The earth pony bore a sharp, inquisitive expression.

Rarity's eyes tilted towards the ceiling. She retraced the words that she had just said, then hid behind a loose length of the dress' fabric, trying in vain to hide the rising blush to her features. "Oh dear, that sounded so terribly obtuse, didn't it?" She brushed a hoof through her elegant mane while smiling bashfully. "Why, of course I've been the subject of royal charity. I am the Element of Generosity, after all. I suppose it would be terribly rude of me to downplay a reward for acting naturally gracious to my fellow equines."

The boutique was silent for a few seconds, until Rarity ultimately broke it with an airy laugh.

"Oh, yes. Yes, I have been weighing things too much. I suppose it would help if I concentrated on the finer qualities in life, the things that I know I have earned with my talent, like this masterpiece that I'm making right now." Rarity smiled and gazed up at Octavia. "Thank you most kindly for this auspicious occasion, Miss Octavia."

Octavia nodded and nodded, flashing a fidgety glance out the front windows of the place. Her hooves squirmed.

"Uh uh uh..." Rarity waved a hoof. "Fear not, I know what you're thinking!"

Octavia grinned hopefully at Rarity.

The unicorn smiled with her eyes shut. "Of course you get to take the dress home for free! How else am I going to pay you back for your kindly generosity?!"

Octavia wanted to faint.

With a ringing bell, the door to the Carousel Boutique opened an entire hour later. Octavia trotted out, stumbling to compensate for the flounce of skirts clinging to her figure. With a groaning sigh, she approached the couch once more.

She paused for a moment, glaring at the sky as the sun made its way towards the west horizon. She looked at the couch, then at the distant edge of Ponyville.

After a momentary pause, Octavia grumbled breathily, put her puffy shoulders to the ugly furniture's soft weight, and resumed shoving it across the grass.

Every now and then, ponies would stop in mid-trot or in mid-conversation to gaze at the overgrown schoolfilly pushing a heavy piece of beige vomit across the lengths of town. With an exchange of nervous glances, the Ponvyillean residents whistled and returned to whatever it was they were doing.

Several minutes later, Octavia had reached another intersection. Her breaths were coming in labored waves of muscle-aching numbness. The mare was sweating up a storm, and it didn't help that she was burdened with wearing layers of Rarity's hoofwork in addition to it all. Several times, she stopped and fidgeted in vain to peel the dress off, but she couldn't for the life of her find out where the zipper was in the back—or even if there was a zipper to the blasted thing. Somehow, she knew she was going to be imprisoned in that gown for the rest of her life, haunted by violet bows until the day she died.

So agonized was Octavia's thoughts, that she didn't notice the drops of rain until one or two of them had pelted the tip of her muzzle. She glanced up, and a soundless shriek escaped her lips. Dark thunder clouds had sprouted over the rooftops of Ponyville without any warning whatsoever. Soon, a cascading string of raindrops was washing over the village, roaring towards her like a sadistic monsoon.

The mare panicked, hyperventilating. She ran little circles around the couch, trying to come up with a plan. She tried pushing the couch away from the wave of rainfall, but it wouldn't move any faster than before. At last, she hopped up onto the cushions and—in a moment of brazen stupidity—tried spreading her skirts around as if it could somehow shelter the furniture from the moisture. Ultimately, she huddled—shivering—in the centermost seat and covered her head, waiting for the inevitable.

The rain swept over... and she remained as dry as a desert plateau.

"Hey!" a voice cracked from overhead. "You late for a spelling bee or something?! Head for cover! In case you couldn’t tell, the pegasi are scheduled to make it rain!"

Octavia lifted her head from beneath her hooves, blinking. She squinted towards the skies.

A single patch of daylight hovered expertly over the spot where her couch was, keeping her and the piece of furniture dry. Just then, a blue shade against the shimmering zenith came to life, shooting down on blazing wings.

"Whoah! You're... you're an adult!" Rainbow Dash frowned, leaning down to inspect the earth pony closely. "What's with the fancy get up? Did your dress go to war with a hair bow factory or something?"

Octavia merely stared at her. She bit her lip and glanced nervously at the ring of raindrops pouring down in a thick halo around the two of them.

"Hey, don't freak out on me or anything!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, waving her forelimbs. "I'm not in the business of drowning ponies, no matter how much they look like rodeo clowns! You just catch your breath and then I'll carve a dry path between this lame excuse for a couch and the nearest building—" She froze suddenly, squinting at the earth pony from where she hovered. "Wait. I know you!"

Octavia did a double-take.

"Yeah... Yeah!" Rainbow folded her forelimbs, frowning venomously. "You're the big shot pony who thought she could play 'counselor' to Twilight and Fluttershy!"

A mortified expression crossed Octavia's stone-gray features.

"Oh, they're doing all right! Don't you worry! Heck, last time I saw Twilight, she was halfway through writing a letter to Celestia, and super buzzed about it too! But that's not the point!" Growling like an angry cat, Rainbow Dash poked her scowling face into Octavia's vision. "I'm the loyalest pony in all of Ponyville! It should be my job to lift my friends' spirits! Not some show-off nopony from out of town! What, are you trying to challenge me or something?!"

Nervously, Octavia backtrotted, only to trip on her skirts and fall awkwardly across the couch. She scurried up against the hoofrest, her teeth chattering.

"Hey, I'm not gonna suplex you or anything!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "Though you're practically asking for it in that... that... just where the heck did you get that fru-fru nonsense anyways?" Her blue face scrunched up in thought, and then she gasped. "Oh dear Celestia, you've talked to Rarity too, haven't you?!"

Octavia smiled sheepishly, trying to contain her sweat.

"Nnnngh! This is the worst!" Rainbow Dash pulled at her prismatic mane. "It's not enough that I constantly gotta be skipping town to attend Wonderbolts Academy! I'm getting rusty! I'm letting other ponies steal my thunder! My fr-friend thunder!"

Octavia shook her head and waved her forelimbs emphatically.

"Huh? What?!" Rainbow Dash squinted at her. "Lemme guess, you wanna try befriending me too, huh?!"

Octavia dragged a hoof across her face and sighed.

"Well, it ain't happening!" Rainbow folded her forelimbs and hovered with her back to the mare. "I don't care how easily you got on the good side of Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity, but you're not getting a single sentence of conversation out of me! Nope! No Siree! I'm stronger than that! See that I'm not!" She blew a raspberry over her shoulder for emphasis.

An hour later...

"So, I guess when it comes down to it, I-I've always suffered from not having my mother around when I was a little filly," Rainbow Dash murmured, lying on the couch with her forelimbs folded against her chest in a foalish manner. "I mean, my dad was great—Heh... he was friggin' awesome." She gulped, her ruby eyes growing misty. "But, like, when he passed away, it was as if a huge clump of feathers had been ripped out from under my wings. I only knew how to cope with stuff like a colt would, 'cuz that's how he taught me, y'know? I can't fault the guy; he was only doing his best as a single father could in Cloudsdale..."

Octavia sighed long and hard. She stood beside the couch, leaning against it as she craned an ear in Rainbow Dash's direction. Every now and then she would politely nod and smile, then return to fussing with her annoyingly puffy gown.

"I guess... I guess it's all so simple, really," Rainbow Dash muttered. She bit her lip as she stared up at the singular patch of uncloudy sky. Her voice reverberated, echoing off the thin drizzle of rainwater surrounding them in a circle. "As long as I could remember, ponies have been labeling me as a 'tomcolt,' and I guess they're right. But the reason for it is nothing to laugh at. I wonder if... if maybe I just told them that, then they'd lay off me, y'know? But..." She winced, as if giving birth. "To open up like that has... has always seemed like such a weak thing to do, ya feel me?"

Octavia tugged at a hem of skirts. With a ripping sound, a violet bow came loose. She froze in place, turning pale as she grimaced at the accidental damage done. She juggled the bow in her hoof and glanced over her shoulder.

"I just...nnngh..." Rainbow Dash covered her face with a pair of forelimbs. "I just wished I could let it all rest, y'know? I wished I wouldn't make a big deal out of stuff that I could totally kick against the curb in a heartbeat. It's all so... so... st-stupid..."

Just then, something soft and velvety brushed against her nose.

"Huh?" Rainbow Dash blinked, peeking through her forelimbs.

Octavia was offering Rainbow Dash the bow with a nervous smile.

Blinking, Rainbow Dash picked it up, dangling it from her hooves like it was something diseased. With each passing second, she became more and more relaxed with the girly ornament. "Huh... yeah... yeah, okay..." She gulped. "All I need to do is... is..." She winced again, squinting one eye towards Octavia in a pensive manner. "...g-get more in touch with m-my feminine side..?"

Octavia stared at her blankly, then smiled with a shrug.

Rainbow Dash gazed back, then beamed. "Awesome! Why didn't I ever think of that?!" She spun around, fidgeted with her hair, then spun back with the bow hanging awkwardly off the very tip of her spiked mane. "Ta-daaa! What do you think?"

It took all of Octavia's strength not to gag. She smiled with the grace of an ice-skater having fallen into a frozen lake.

Rainbow Dash nevertheless bought it. "Hah! Yeah, I can so do this!" She flew up above the couch with a thundering burst of air. "I mean, why not?! It's never too late to catch up with oneself, right? And I've totally got the sort of friends I need for this sort of thing! Just you wait and see! In a week's time, I'll be so in touch with my feminine side, it won't be funny! I'll be like 'Hey, you, feminine side, we're going out for a mug of cider!' And she'll be all, 'But I haven't done the dishes!' And I'll say, 'Where we're going, baby, we don't need no dishes!' And then she'll swoon and say, 'Oh Rainbow Dash, you're so cool, fly me to the moon you handsome...' er..." Rainbow Dash bit her lip, blushing furiously. "Pretty. 'Pretty' is what I mean. Cuz mares are supposed to be 'pretty'..." She fidgeted, then squinted down at the couch. "R-right?"

Octavia pivoted an outstretched hoof from side to side.

"Ahem. Right. I... sh-should be going right now," Rainbow Dash managed, still blushing. She shook it off with a squinting expression thrown the earth pony's way. "You ain't so bad, lady. But I'm onto you!" She pointed with a glare. "Don't think this means the challenge isn't over with! I'm gonna outfriend you through the floor!"

The air broke with more thunder. As Rainbow Dash rocketed away, the clouds finally cleared. The last few drops of rain fell, then all was still, save for the distant chirping of songbirds as they invited the orange ways of a setting sun.

Alone once again, Octavia sighed. She fidgeted, hesitated, but ultimately stepped around towards the far side of the couch. As she did so, her hooves trudged deep into fresh, squelching mud. Her body shivered from all over, and it took a great deal of effort to lift her skirts above the brown, sloppy mess.

With a prolonged groan, she pushed her puffy shoulders once more to the couch and began shoving, shoving the thing through the rain-drenched streets of Ponyville.

Octavia had lost track of how many times she had tripped and fallen by the time she reached the third block from where she started. She had long given up on trying to salvage the dress; it was splotched over in several places from copious amounts of mud and rain water. That, and the angle of the sunlight was baking her through to the skin. Her mane had fallen into a frazzled state as sweat poured from her forehead, adding to a disgusting image she was certain to find the very moment she looked in a mirror.

At one point, she felt her muscles throbbing, and she knew that one more step would make her faint. So, slumping against the couch, she fanned herself with a weary hoof. She still couldn't get cool enough; that dress was an absolute prison.

Sweating profusely, Octavia glanced left and right. The coast was clear. In one swift motion, she loosened her bowtie and rubbed her neck. She instantly felt cooler, as if taking an ice bath in her mind. She closed her eyes as her hoof habitually rubbed an age-old scar that stretched across the side of her neck, stopping in the middle of her throat.

Just then, a humming voice drifted around the street corner, followed by a pleasantly drawling voice. "Why, howdy there! Fancy meeting you again!"

Every hair of Octavia's coat stood on end. In a flurry, she slapped her bowtie back on, fiddling with the collar until it once again strategically covered her neck. Spinning around, she struck a casual pose against the side of the couch and smiled nonchalantly in Applejack's direction.

"Good heavens, sugarcube!" the farm mare nevertheless gasped. She almost dropped her bit bag and a basket of apples on her flank. "Ya look like you just got through wrestling two muddied hogs in a back alley of a department store! What in Celestia's name happened to you?!"

Octavia's smile was a fractured, spastic thing. She could only gulp and fight away the shivers.

"Ohhh, you poor, poor thang." Applejack trotted up with a sympathetic smile. "All you wanted the whole time was to move this here couch someplace, wasn't it?"

With a sigh, Octavia hung her head. She nodded meekly like the little foal she was involuntarily dressed to mimic.

"Well, why didn't you say so?!" Applejack tilted the mare's chin up. "Don't ya fret, darlin'. T'ain't nothin' wrong in askin' for a healthy heapin' of hospitality! What side of town you headed for?"

Octavia's eyes sparkled in gratitude. Stifling a happy sob, she turned and pointed anxiously towards the south end of Ponyville.

"Down by the river, eh?" Applejack's freckles shimmered in the light of the sunset. "Why, that's a mighty purdy place to settle down. I wouldn't mind seein' it once again!" She winked and trotted up to the edge of the couch. "You just step back and have yerself a breather! I reckon I can handle the rest of the trip on my own."

Octavia shook her head, grasping earnestly at Applejack's shoulder.

"No, now I mean it!" Applejack smiled and softly pushed Octavia back. "I've bucked enough trees in my life to know that I can handle a simple lil' piece of furniture!" She put her back into the weight of the couch and began moving the object across the muddied streets at an amazingly swift pace. "See?! Ain't nothin' to it! I swear on my life, nothin's gonna get in the way of me helpin' another pony in need—"

An enormous, six-ton, three-headed canine jumped over a row of houses, bent down low, and roared furiously at the two mares.

Octavia's breath left her as she toppled head over hooves a half-dozen times. Applejack rolled into a tree, landing in a thump. "Nnnngh! Gul-darn it!" She hissed, snarling at the hulking monstrosity. "Not again!"

Octavia sat up, panting, mouthing those last two words in utter perplexity. She winced as Applejack galloped straight past her.

"How many times do we gotta go through this, Cerberus?!" Applejack had already produced a rope from beneath her hat and was lassoing it through the air with her teeth. "Nnnngh—Get back in your damned cage in the underworld! Raaugh!"

The noose flung around the middle-most head. Blinking awkwardly, the trio of dog faces snarled and reared up towards the sky.

"Whoah!" Applejack yelped as she was flung towards the air. She kept biting down hard onto the rope and used the leverage to brace herself against the black beast's muscled shoulders. "Dag nabbit! I ain't in the mood to play fetch! Now git! Git!"

The demon dog wasn't about to cooperate. It thrashed and bucked and kicked at the orange farm mare with every ounce of strength given it by the hellions of Tartarus. Several ponies ran out of their houses to gawk in horror as the threefold canine sprinted towards the far end of Ponyville, wrestling with the stubborn earth pony on its back. Two blue-colored stagecoaches fitted with police sirens blazed by, followed by an ambulance and several guard ponies in glittering gold armor.

Then, just as swiftly as the bedlam started, all fell into deathly silence.

Octavia sat in the mud, blinking dazedly into the burning horizon. With a grumbling breath, she hoisted her weary self up, dusted her tattered dress off, and plodded lonesomely towards the couch, pushing it once more down the lengths of the rainsoaked village.

Octavia had reached a tall, pink building with several wooden decorations shaped like pastries and candied streets by the time she heard the rising commotion. She paused, slumping against the couch and out of breath. Her weary, violet eyes spotted a thick crowd of cheering equines rushing down the adjacent avenue.

"Three cheers for Applejack! Most loyal and dependable protector of Ponyville!"

"Hip hip—Hooray!"

"Hip hip—Hooray!"

"Hip Hip—Hoooooraaaay!"

"Hey! Come on, y'all! Put me down!" Applejack grunted, yet giggled, as the bouncy crowd of ponies carried her victoriously towards the center of town. She smirked and adjusted her hat, her body covered from head to hoof in various scrapes and signs of battle. "Shucks, it was nothin'! Just had to put him back in the dog house, that's all!"

"Let's throw a party for Applejack!"

"Yaaay! Applejack! Mare of the evening!"

"Applejack is best pony!"

"Heeheehee!"

"I mean it, y'all! I've got places to me—Nnnngh! Fine, alright! Just one lil' hootenanny. I reckon it won't hurt..."

The group chuckled and ushered her towards a celebration already underway at the Town Hall building. Octavia's side of the town hung in hushed silence upon the advent of falling evening.

She took a deep breath, and in so doing discovered just how parched her mouth was. Lethargically, she turned and squinted at the building beside her. The sign hanging over the entrance read "Sugarcube Corner." With a shrug of her shoulders, Octavia stood up, abandoned the couch, and trudged muddily up the steps, pushing the front door open.

Waves of air-conditioned goodness greeted her immediately. Octavia's lips produced a weak smile; perhaps this meant a chance for her to finally relax.

"—and so I made her a tiara out of gumdrops because I thought that if she was gonna be a princess from hereon out, then she might as well do it and be fed like one too, but then she said that it wouldn't give a good message and I was all like 'what better a message than to let ponies see you look as sweet on the outside as you are on the inside,' but then she was all, 'but being a princess means taking into serious consideration all of the political and diplomatic issues of a rapidly growing nation,' and so I said, 'well, duh, you're growing too, 'cuz being a princess means someday becoming a queen and what better way to do it then by eating two to three gumdrops a day' and then she got mad, but not in the seriously mad way, but in that adorable tips-of-her-ears-turning-red sort of way that Twilight always gets when she's frustrated with somepony but, no, not really, if you know what I mean—"

Octavia groaned. She leaned over a table where she sat inside Sugarcube Corner, clutching her skull as she tried... tried to sip from her tall glass of root beer in peace. None of her subtle gestures or good-natured mannerisms were enough to keep the source of megaphoning speech from chirping thunderously into her fuzzy gray ears.

"—as a matter of fact, everypony I've ever known gets super-merry-go-round-ticked-off at me at some point or another," Pinkie Pie remarked, blinking quizzically as she nevertheless bounced happy circles around the visiting patron. "I think it has something to do with the fact that I was born on a rock farm. Most ponies hold grudges against rock farmers, since we're always putting diamond dogs out of business, and everypony knows that if the diamond dogs never lost their jobs, then they wouldn’t have turned into meanie-headed diamond-pilfering thugs along the fringes of Ponyville in the first place. Say, what do you think the diamond dogs do when they get sick? Do they have underground medical schools for veterinarians?"

Octavia's straw struck dry air; she reveled in the sound of the sputtering drink. Exhaling with joy, she stood up and made for the exit.

A bouncing pink shape blocked her way. "Or maybe they abduct ponies from big cities and force them to check canine dentures at knife point! I wouldn't put it past them, would you?"

Octavia groaned, running a hoof over her face.

"Oh, and you're right! Living so deep underground, just where are diamond dogs gonna find ponies kind enough to feel their nose and tell if they're sick or not? But, then again, you gotta be sick all of the time if your only kick in life is flinging dirt around and beating up passing ponies for diamonds and gems. Why, this one time that Rarity got kidnapped, my friends and I dove deep down into their underground lair and—whew—did it smell like Gummy's cleaning cage or what!"

Sighing, Octavia clapped her hooves together and pointed ardently for the exit.

Pinkie Pie froze, squinting at the mare. Her mouth hung open, and she fumbled for words before ultimately saying, "You know what... you're absolutely right..."

Octavia blinked.

Pinkie's mane took on a straight, silken sheen in the last hint of daylight wafting in through the thickly-blinded windows. "The only reason why I talk endlessly without pausing for a breath is because I'm terribly afraid of what thoughts my mind would afford those empty spaces in time." She hung her head like a pastel shadow, her face long and contemplative. "And, all this time, I'm constantly denying a soul-cleansing catharsis of all of my bitter foalhood memories bubbling up and dissolving at the surface of my otherwise predictable personality." She shuddered, sniffling. "You're right, Miss... I really do have a problem. I mean, a single pony can't possibly be a constant two-dimensional source of juvenile sight gags for absolutely no reason. She must necessarily be a source of constant angst, bitterness, and deeply entrenched anguish."

Octavia glanced left and right. She fidgeted silently in her muddied dress.

"This.. th-this conversation has changed my life," Pinkamena murmured, her eyes wet and full of earnest. "From now on, I promise, I am going to be at peace with the wounds plastered around the frayed edges of my heart. No longer shall I keep all reality at a distance, pretending as if things aren't the way that they—"

Just then, Pinkie Pie gasped, her fluffy hair exploding outward—as did her voice.

"Omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh! Applejack's celebration party! Whoops! Heeheehee!" She zoomed out of sight, rushed into the kitchen, and came rolling right back out atop a unicycle with a bundle of party favors juggling in her upper hooves. "I'm such a fumbling forgetterson! I'd spank myself all day and night if I wasn't around to let my most dependable poni poni poni friend Jack her Apples straight! Teehee! Hear that?! Auntie Pinkie Pie made a funny!"

And, with a clatter of unicycle spokes and bursting streamers, the mare was gone.

Octavia stood in the absence of her, too stunned to be relieved by the silence. On trembling hooves, she trotted out of Sugarcube Corner, flinching at every other second as if the walls might explode around her. The sun was setting behind the rooftops of the village. If Octavia craned her head, she could almost hear the party going on in the center of downtown. However, a trio of giggling voices made any further discerning next to impossible.

"Weee-hee-hee-hee!" Sweetie Belle chirped as she bounced and bounced on one of the couch cushions. "Look at me! My horn's going to reach the stars!"

"Nuh uh!" Apple Bloom hopped next to her, her hair bow flouncing in the evening air. "You totally ain't reachin' higher than me!"

"Pfft! Listen to you two losers!" Scootaloo grinned devilishly as her wings blurred, giving her extra lift.

"No fair!" Sweetie's voice cracked. "You're cheating!"

"Oh yeah?!" Scootaloo growled, smirking. "Can cheaters do a backflip?!" She held her breath and twirled in mid-air, landing on four expert hooves.

"Wow!" Apple Bloom hopped and hopped, gawking at her feathered friend. "That was amazin'! Ya think y'all can do that with... yer eyes... closed...?" Apple Bloom caught Octavia's icy glare. "Erm..." Her bouncing came to a stop as she perched nervously on the edge of the hoof rest. "Eheheheh... this here couch belong to a pony you know, ma'am?"

Octavia's violet eyes narrowed even further.

Sweetie Belle gulped. She and Apple Bloom hopped down to the moist earth below. "It was too 'uncouth' for a trampoline anyways..."

"Speak for yourself!" Scootaloo leaned over the hoofrest, grinning wildly at Octavia as her wings twitched. "Say, lady, any chance you're in the mood for selling this thing anytime soon? I've been saving up some bits for a long time now, and this is the sort of springboard I need to help me practice flying!"

Octavia shook her head and shooed the pegasus away with a dainty hoof.

"Awwwww..." Scootaloo plopped down to the muddy earth and folded her forelimbs, frowning towards the sunset. "You're no fun."

"Say, Miss, if ya don't mind me askin'..." Apple Bloom trotted alongside the couch, brushing her hoof against the ugly, beige surface. "What's a mare like you doin' in front of Sugarcube Corner with a piece of old furniture like this anyway?"

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle nodded curiously. "And dressed like Diamond Tiara on her fifth birthday to boot!" Scootaloo swatted her shoulder. Sweetie Belle growled and rolled her eyes towards the darkening sky. "Yeesh! Every... darn... time...!"

Octavia sighed and simply positioned herself at the end of the couch. She was beyond explaining things, beyond excusing herself, beyond anything but the simple, mindless, animalistic act of shoving one stupid piece of furniture against the mud, muck, and elements of that merciless day.

"Hmmm..." Apple Bloom rubbed her chin, then gasped. "Say! You wouldn't... uh... be needin' a helpin' hoof with that, wouldja?"

Scootaloo's ears perked up. She spun around and gasped, "You mean like a bunch of delivery ponies?"

"Shhhh!" Apple Bloom hissed back. "I'm doin' the askin' here, ain't I?"

"Well, I'm curious too!"

"Then let her answer!"

"Answer?! She hasn't said a single word!"

Octavia had frozen still by this point. She glanced at the couch, then at the three little fillies—or more appropriately at their glaring blank flanks.

"Maybe... erm..." Apple Bloom rubbed one hoof pensively against the other. "It m-might earn us our super special talent."

Octavia blinked. She stared off towards the setting sun for a spell, then back at the fillies. Slowly—devilishly—she smiled and nodded.

"Yaaaaaay!" All three ponies jumped in mid-air for a dramatically poised hoof-slap.
"Cutie Mark Crusader Couch Movers!"

Octavia had three little helpers, but she could hardly tell the difference. The reason for this, most likely, was because she had chosen to take the front portion of the couch, lifting it with her front hooves while her rear hooves provided leverage and backtrotted towards her destination. This was a simple act in theory, but proved to be an insanely strenuous exercise in reality. Nevertheless, she stuck to it, trying to utilize the foals' assistance while at the same time not letting them carry the brunt of the task. This meant trotting blindly in reverse with her sweating, heaving face full of hoofrest for the better part of the last hour.

"Whew! This is a lot easier than I thought!" Scootaloo's voice rang through the crest of starry evening.

"Nnnngh... Speak for yerself!" Apple Bloom could be heard grunting. "And I thought apple buckin' was hard! What's this here couch made of anyways?!"

"Well, it'd be a lot less heavy if a certain pony wasn't adding her dumb weight to it!" Scootaloo grunted. "How about it, Sweetie Belle?! Gonna give us some relief or what?!"

"I'm totally helping you guys out! I'm acting as navigator!"

"Navigator my flank! Get your marshmallowy butt off this thing and come down to help us!"

"Haven't you heard me shouting directions for the past hour?! I'm finding us a shortcut! Ahem..." Sweetie Belle's fluffy face smiled down at Octavia from beyond the hoofrest. "Now move to the right a bit, Miss! Yeah, that's it! You're gonna love this!"

"Nnngh... short... cut...?" Apple Bloom's voice sputtered. "The hay are you goin' on about, Sweetie!"

"Yanno the one!" Sweetie chirped, saluting into a cold draft of nightly winds. Lampposts casted a sheen against her pale figure as she pointed and exclaimed, "Right beside the twin oak trees on the corner of Nexus Street and Baroque Avenue! It's the happiest part of town, after all!"

"Corner of Nexus Street and—" Scootaloo let loose a gasping breath. "You friggin' dictionary! What were you thinking?!"

"What?" Sweetie squeaked back. "We're practically there already!"

"Sweetie, the pegasi just had a rain shower today! You know just how slippery that 'shortcut' gets after an afternoon storm!"

As if on cue, Octavia's rear hooves slipped. She fell flat on her belly, splashing viscous mud all over her triply-ruined dress. Wincing, she looked up and gasped to see the whole couch lurching towards her. The earth below gave way. She flung a look over her shoulder and immediately wished she hadn't.

A muddy hillside loomed below at a deathly forty-five degree slope.

"Uhhhhh..." Sweetie Belle blushed furiously as the couch below her began its murderous slide. "Whoops...?"

With more strength than the mare thought she had in her, she grabbed the hoofrest, pulled herself forward in a massive lunge, and outright shoved Sweetie Belle off the furniture.

"Aaaaaie!" The tiny unicorn flew into her companions. All three crusaders collapsed like bowling pins in the splashing mud. They soon rocketed out of view, for Octavia was riding the couch down the slippery hill like a tacky beige torpedo.

Spinning around, Octavia winced at her peril. Her lips and facial muscles rippled in the billowing winds. As she plummeted past parked stagecoaches and glimmering streetlamps, she caught sight of unassuming ponies trying to cross the steep street. They turned and gasped at her, like deer caught in headlights.

Gritting her teeth, Octavia flung her body to the left and right, shifting the weight of the runaway couch. Mud drenched the flinching ponies, but their bodies were spared a blunt missile to the face. Octavia continued to veer the couch left and right, steering madly around fire hydrants, mailboxes, and row after row of flower gardens. At last, the road evened out, but the momentum of the runaway couch didn't cease. Octavia found herself surging unstoppably towards a mound of earth. Gulping, the mare clung hard to the cushions and braced herself.

The couch struck the ramp, flew through the air, and landed on the edge of a pond ten feet away. The cataclysmic impact sent scummy water flying high into the starlight and cascading down all over her and the piece of soaked furniture. Coughing and sputtering, Octavia hopped "overboard," waded deep in the pond, and yanked on the couch with all her strength. It took much splashing and hard work, but she managed to tug the doused sofa onto dry land. There, she collapsed beside the thing in a sopping wet heap of skirts, tangled mane-hair, and loose violet bows.

A soft pattering of petite hooves announced the arrival of the three foals. They stood on the bank of the pond, panting for breath.

"Whew... are you... are you alright, lady?" Apple Bloom stammered.

"I'm so... so sorry about that!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, sniffling. "I only wanted to help! I didn't mean to almost get you killed! Honest!"

"Woohoo!" Scootaloo pumped her hoof in the air. "That was awesome! Can we have a go next?!"

Slowly, icily, Octavia's head swiveled to cast a cold glare in their direction.

All three fillies froze in place. Their tiny chests throbbed from the beating of their hearts.

"Eh heh heh..." Scootaloo nervously rubbed the back of her neck and muttered, "Maybe another time?"

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Live-Another-Day-ers!" Sweetie Belle caterwauled. In three bolts of pastel colors, the three darted away, leaving Octavia alone with the stars and pond water.

Octavia tried standing up, but fell flat on her haunches. Frogs croaked and hopped away as she floundered in the mud. All of her strength was sapped; the entire day poured from her lungs in wheezing breaths. With limbs like limp noodles, she clawed her way up onto the bed of soaking wet couch cushions.

With a groan, she flopped down, staring numbly up at the sky as darkness completely settled, encompassing her like a funeral shroud. It took much effort, but she finally sat up, fiddling yet again with the folds of that ridiculous dress. A tearing sound lit her ears. She looked down and realized that the gown was torn straight down every hem. Rarity's dress was utterly ruined, just like the couch, just like the day, just like the entire move into Ponyville.

Octavia didn't realize she was crying until her vision blurred, and the hiccups of a pain-stricken mare lit her twitching ears. She didn't even care for the dress; she hadn't even asked for it. And yet, its utter destruction was somehow the last straw. She whimpered openly, unashamedly, stroking her hooves across a sofa that was too terribly ugly for her to have valued from the start, and yet she had—with utmost zeal and foolishness—she had let the furniture devour the full extent of her day. And for what?

Everything was hopeless suddenly, and it weighed upon her, pulling her down into a foalish slump as she curled up against the only remotely dry portion of the couch and slowly, quietly cried herself to sleep, allowing the exhaustion of the past sixteen hours take its toll on her body.

"Whew!" Twilight Sparkle burst out of the door to her treehouse. "I can’t believe I let that essay worry me for so long!" Her fresh new wings sprang up with emphasis as she smiled and said, "All it took was just the proper inspiration, and then it all came naturally! Heeheehee... Y'know, Spike..." She turned and glanced over her shoulder. "I've said it time and time again all month: 'Everything is going to be just fine.' Funny how I never truly believed it until now."

"Well, that's cool and all..." The little whelp fidgeted in the brightly-lit doorway. "But does this mean you're gonna take it easy with the flying and stuff for a while?"

The newly-crowned princess shook her head. "No can do, Spike. I need to get my practice in if I'm to fly with any sort of regal grace whatsoever. I can't be afraid of a little starlight, especially when the time comes when I might have to pull a Rainbow Dash for some of my friends after sunset!"

"'Pull a Rainbow Dash...?'" Spike raised an eyecrest a he planted his hands on his hips. "Really?"

"Yeah, okay..." Twilight blushed, smiling off to the side. "So a girl can still dream."

"Heh, and here I thought dreaming ended when you became a princess!"

"Not in the real world."

"So, you're done for the evening?"

"Yup."

"Where you off to? Applejack's party?"

"You bet!" Twilight smiled. "I can't believe how many amazing things I missed throughout the day! Everything’s been a blur since this morning!"

"Well, try and focus your eyes so that you can save me a slice of cake!" Spike waved as he waddled back into the treehouse. "I'll be there to join the party myself, right after I finish making a congratulations card for Applejack!"

"Just don't take too long!" Twilight spread her wings and began flapping them with elementary precision. Slowly, she lifted up into the air. "You know how Applejack likes to cut things short before it's too late, what with all her farm work the following morning!"

"We gotta change that about her one of these days."

"Heehee—Yeah! Maybe! See ya, Spike!"

Humming to herself, Twilight slowly, gracefully glided her way towards the center of town. She could easily spot the brightly-lit sight of the Town Hall building in the distance. She passed by a few pegasi and exchanged happy waves before beginning her descent.

As she flew closer to the ground, be noticed something odd in her peripheral vision. Being so high above the earth's surface was still a new sensation to her, and she didn't yet know the difference between things that she could ignore and things that deserved a flier's attention.

Not willing to let anything slip, Twilight glanced down, then raised an eyebrow at what she saw. Slowly, in cyclonic fashion, she glided down towards the earth. She landed roughly—but safely—about three feet from the edge of a pond where a beige couch lay, half-submerged.

Stepping forward, Twilight pursed her lips and squinted through the shadows of night. She brushed her hoof against Octavia's tangled mane, as if making sure she was real. After several seconds of careful study, she saw the slow rise and fall of the muddied earth pony's slumbering lungs. There was a peaceful quality lying beneath the misery, and Twilight suddenly recognized the equine with full clarity.

And she smiled—a soft and glowing sort of grin. With a deep breath, she stepped back from the sight, her brow furrowed in thought. After a while, she brightened, and her smile widened even more.

Licking her lips, Twilight Sparkle channeled magic into her horn. A lavender glow filled the body of the couch beneath the sleeping mare, and the ugly piece of furniture began levitating in the night air.

The warm glow of morning brushed across Octavia's soft face like a gentle kiss. She stirred—trilling breathily like a cat. Her eyes fluttered open, then closed shut. A beat—and she gasped, her eyes exploding wide this time.

She was seated on the couch... and the couch was situated in the center of her apartment living room. It was a beautiful spring morning outside her home, and everything was as serene and still as the day that Equestria was born.

Blinking repeatedly, Octavia glanced down at herself. She was still clad in the tattered dress, with her body stained over in mud and dried pond water. Nevertheless, she felt oddly restored, and even more oddly blessed by this felicitous change in setting.

Numbly, she stumbled down from the couch, glancing across the lengths of the room. She was alone, but there was something odd about the place. She spotted a bright shape on top of the lone table seated in front of her. As her vision came into focus, she saw a gift basket, full of various, brightly-colored bottles.

Curious, she leaned forward and tore open the plastic wrap that covered the wicker container. A sharp breath escaped her. The thing was full of ornately packaged lavender soap, expensive shampoos, and bath salts. In the center of it, a scroll lay, tied with royal-red ribbon. Pensively, she grabbed the thing. The paper tingled to the touch somehow, as if it was electrically charged. Using her teeth, the earth pony humbly loosened the ribbon and unrolled the letter. She read the words written across the sheet in immaculate hoofwriting:

Dear Octavia,

All it took was a little bit of chatting with my friends—not to mention a short conversation with the town's Mayor—and I found out all about you and where you happened to live. I hope you don't mind me taking the liberty of transporting you and your new furniture to your apartment.

I think you're a really special pony with a very sweet heart, and I wouldn't mind getting to know you better, maybe even becoming your friend. I'm not the only pony in town that feels this way. Don't be so afraid to spend time with your neighbors. You may find them just as happy to have you around as we are.

I know this gift basket may not make up for all the trouble you went through yesterday, but it's from the heart. So is this scroll. The letter you're holding has been enchanted by an ancient spell I've researched recently. When you're done reading, roll the papers back up, concentrate hard, and flick it towards your couch. Yes, just like a wand. I promise you won't be disappointed.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

P.S.: Sometimes, the best inspiration comes from a quiet shoulder to lean on. Thank you for teaching me this. For teaching us all.

Octavia blinked. She took a deep breath and rolled the scroll up as instructed.

It felt like any ordinary tube of paper in her grip, save for the slightest tingle of static energy. She wasn't sure what to expect, but she had just been written to by a princess.

Slowly, with a nervous shuffle, she turned to face the water-logged, mud-strewn sofa. With pleasure, she closed her eyes, allowing the hideous thing to vanish from sight. Taking deep breaths, Octavia imagined herself someplace fanciful, someplace heavenly, someplace clean, serene, and devoid of clutter. Then, without hesitation, she thrusted the scroll forward, slapping it blindly against the nearest hoofrest.

In a small explosion, the scroll vanished from the crook of her hoof. The air filled with otherworldly resonance, like the ringing of bells, growing more and more distant. Octavia couldn't resist the temptation anymore; she opened her eyes. When she did so, she gasped.

Dumbfounded, she trotted forward. She reached one hoof forward... then a second. Not only was the sofa burgundy from top to bottom, not only was it squeaky clean in the golden light of morning, but it was softer than ethereal clouds to the touch. She had to contain her foalish jitters as she hopped up, and practically bounced in the middlemost cushion, trying to contain her ecstasy. The thing sank and folded under her weight. When she brushed her muzzle against it, all she needed was to inhale once, and suddenly it was like she was in the middle of a blossoming flower garden.

A soft breath escaped her lips, and she flung a tearful glance heavenward, as if thanking immortal powers that dwelled beyond mortal reach. Just then, a happy thought flitted through her mind as she realized that such was anything but the case. An invitation had been offered her way, and she never felt more excited about anything in her life, as if a spark had been fired off inside her overnight.

Perhaps things wouldn't be so boorish in this town after all...

With a spring to her step, Octavia gripped the gift basket in her mouth and gleefully galloped her way to the bathroom, ripping free of the useless, tattered gown along the way. She passed by a dormant fireplace, her violet eyes sparkling as she imagined it blazing alive with half the embers that were jumping through her heart that very moment. She started a warm rinse and prepared for the longest, most relaxing bath in her life.

Fate did not disappoint.

Author's Note

Special Thanks to Pilate and MythrilMoth.

Cover Art done by faloxx and used with their permission