Another Day For the Whooves

by Golden Vision

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Crossover, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 26750

Daleks in Muffintopia? The TARDIS in a galactic bubble? The Whooves have been there, done that.

Wake up, clean the TARDIS, have some tea, get chased by Daleks, have more tea, lose the Vortex, make muffins, find the Vortex, eat muffins and tea, blow up the planet. It's just another day for the Whooves family!

…Oh, and Carrot Top has NO idea what's going on. Just saying.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-09 17:00:10 UTC

Sparkler vs. Coffee

A ring went off in the dark.

Another ring: louder and more insistent.

A third ring-

The poor alarm clock let out a pitiful creak as Sparkler Hooves slowly lifted her hoof from the offending machine.

Staring straight ahead at a wall, Sparkler casually backhanded a flying silver blur as she reached for her morning mug of coffee.  It sat there on her nightstand, taunting her with every second she wasn’t drinking it.  Sparkler licked her lips and slowly reached for the mug.  Somehow taking hold of the drink between her two front hooves, the purple unicorn took a long sip, eyes blinking blearily.

Ah, coffee…

Drink of gods.  So warm, so wonderful, so divine…

If Celestia hadn’t been a physical goddess who may or may not have taken offense to it, Sparkler might have begun a new religion centered on glorious, glorious coffee.  She let out a happy sigh and took another long sip.

Idly, Sparkler’s leg kicked out at the screeching metallic object on her bed.  It went flying, crashing into the opposite wall, and leaving a satisfying imprint on the wallpaper.  Sparkler nodded to herself, closing her eyes as she felt the caffeine begin to spread throughout her system, working its sweet, sweet magic.

The purple unicorn slowly got out of bed, yawning and stretching.  Still holding her coffee cup, Sparkler crunched something beneath her foreleg as she padded to the circular window looking out of her room.  The golden rays of Celestia’s sun touched her face, and Sparkler smiled softly.  Birds chirped from the trees, and a warm breeze whispered through Sparkler’s mane.  She lifted her coffee mug to take one last sip-

-And a battered metallic creature leapt from below, knocking it out of her hooves and onto the floor.

The shattered ceramic and slowly spreading puddle might well have been a crime scene to Sparkler’s eyes.  Her mouth dropped, and tears began to leak from the corners of her eyes as she stared at it.

The unicorn’s eye twitched, and she turned to the offender- no, murderer.

The cybermat— a small, ratlike thing made of metal and other recycled matter— looked up at her, screeching innocently. It scooted forward along the carpeted floor, its steel head bumping against Sparkler’s hoof.

Sparkler ground her teeth.  “You…how dare you…” she growled, barely holding in her righteous fury.

“You monster,” Sparkler snarled.  “You can torture my friends, you can vaporize my house, but you do not!  Touch!  My!  COFFEE!”

The cybermat whimpered.

“You’re going to pay for that,” Sparkler said dangerously.  Suddenly, her hoof whipped around to a pouch on her bedside table, withdrawing a gleaming piece of metal.  Its huge body cast a dark shadow over the cowering cybermat.

The shining surface of the Kill-O-Zap Deluxe glinted in the morning sunlight.

“And by pay…” Sparkler said, eyes narrowing.

The switch flicked on, and the Kill-O-Zap hummed to life.

“-I mean DIE!”

“Whoo!  Vroom!  Fwoosh!”

Dinky happily tossed her Mare-Do-Well action figure into the air.  “Oh, no, Batcolt!” she cried.  “The evil Nightmare Moon is getting away!

Grr! growled the Nightmare Moon toy (fashioned from a dark blue pillow and some string).  I’ll get you, my little ponies!  And then your candy will be mine!  All mine!  Muhahahaha!

Suddenly, a huge explosion rocked the house.  Debris rained down from the ceiling, kicking up dust on the floor.  Dinky looked up curiously.  “Huh?  I wonder what that was.”

It was the Super-Magriffic Anti-Equestria Doomsday Device! Batcolt shouted, leaping from the heights of Mount Couch-And-Sofa. What has Nightmare Moon done?

“Get back here, you disgusting piece of Cyber-trash!!”

“Ooh,” Dinky said, blinking.  “Sparkler got up early!”

Weird, Batcolt said.

Quite, said Nightmare Moon.

The sound of crashing glass filled the first floor, and tongues of fire began to lick at the stairwell.

“YOU WON’T GET OFF THAT EASILY!”

“At least she sounds happy!” Dinky said with a smile.  “She’s always so grumpy in the morning.”

“Wait, when did you get the gun—OH CELESTIA WHY.”

Parts of the kitchen started to shake.  An alarm began to echo throughout the house, and a stray blaster shot from the second floor caused the stove to spontaneously go up in flames.

“Hm...” Dinky murmured.  She frowned, crossing her eyes slightly.  “I wish she’d be more quiet.  Some ponies are trying to play down here!”

I do agree, Mare-Do-Well said.  She is being quite rude indeed.

“Hmph!”

“AHA!  I’ve got you now, you waste of scrap metal!”

A piercing shriek and an incoherent scream rang through the halls.  More crashing and explosions ensued.

Dinky screwed up her face in concentration. “I guess this means the insho—insoar—insurance is gonna go up again.  Whatever that means.”

Like with that time with Mommy and the Pumpkin-People? Batcolt asked.  Dinky nodded.

“—Ack!  The rest of the coffee!  You conniving FIEND!”

Dinky proceeded to lift Mare-Do-Well up above the table and let her go. The action figure parachuted to the ground with the napkin tied to its back.  “Grown-ups are weird.”

You said it! Nightmare Moon agreed.

Of Memories and Muffins

The Doctor stared pensively at the bag.  A bead of sweat dripped down his mane as his hoof trembled in the air, wavering back and forth between the two choices.  This is it, he thought to himself, a chill running down his spine.  It all comes down to this.

"So, you gonna pick the Red Delicious apples or the Granny Smiths?"

The Doctor stumbled back slightly at Applesack's- or was it Applejack's?- question.  "Oh!  Right.  I think Dinky wanted the pink ones." He smiled hopefully.

"We don't have pink apples today," Applejack said bluntly.  "Reds or Grannys?"

"Yes, yes," the Doctor murmured distractedly, focusing on the small sacks of fruit.  He waved a hoof dismissively.  "One moment."

"You know, Doctor Whooves," Applejack said idly, sighing.  "You might get more visitors up at your place if you were a tad more social."

"Social?  I'm perfectly social!" the Doctor exclaimed.  "I just have an eccentric lifestyle."

"Sparkler told you that, didn't she?" Applejack said skeptically.  The Doctor chuckled slightly.

"Well, she-"

"INCOMING!"

Applejack's eyes widened.  "Get down, Whooves!"

She threw herself against the Doctor, sending them both tumbling to the ground.  From above, a whirling, grey-colored meteor of death flew toward the earth.  It impacted with a bang, shooting up sparks and sending small tremors through the ground.

"…I'm okay," Derpy Hooves weakly proclaimed from her self-made ditch.  Small wisps of steam rose from her wings, and her eyes tumbled around each other even more than usual.

"Well, that was interesting.  I think we'll take the red ones," the Doctor said, popping out from beneath Applejack and reappearing by the table.  He dropped a few bits on the table, grabbed a bag of apples in his mouth, and began to trot away.  "Come along, Derpy!"

"Coming!" Derpy said, springing out of the hole and straight into a loop-de-loop.  "Whee!"

Applejack twitched, slowly picking herself up from the ground.  "…Those Whooves sure are some crazy folk."  She turned to look at her apple stand.  "At least they didn't break anything this time."

She paused.  "Wait…he said he was taking the red ones.  So why did he take a bag of Granny Smith?"

"Good morning, Doctor!" Derpy said happily as she flew alongside the trotting Time Lord.

"Good morning to you too, Derpy!" the Doctor replied.  "How are you doing today?"

"Great!"  Derpy folded her wings and stepped down to the path, walking along beside the Doctor.  "The Fnargh got their pizza and went back to their lunar base last night.  The invasion's been called off!"

"Excellent!" the Doctor said.  He looked thoughtful.  "Of course, let's hope that Luna doesn't find out what they're doing up there…"

"So what were you doing getting apples, anyway?" Derpy asked, frowning.  "I thought you hated them."

"I do," the Doctor sighed.  "But Dinky wanted one for her teacher, and I knew that the right color for those is pink, so-"

"You mean red."

The Doctor frowned.  "Red?  Huh.  I could've sworn that Teacher Apples should be pink.  Well, no harm done.  I-"

"And these are green!"

The Doctor laughed.  "Oh, Derpy.  There's no way I could have-"

"Yep!"

The Doctor blinked.  "No…  I couldn't have!"

"Yep!" Derpy said again, just as enthusiastically.  "See?"  She pointed inside the bag.

The Doctor peered inside along with her.  "Huh.  Well, what do you know; they are green!  Fancy that."  He shrugged.  "I suppose Dinky will just have to make do."

"Get anything else fun at the market?" Derpy asked.

"Sadly, no," the Doctor said.  "The Quills & Sofas shop apparently doesn't sell Space Whale Quills.  Lousy false advertising."

He paused.  "Also, is it me, or are more and more of the locals calling me ‘Doctor Whooves’ lately?"

Derpy stuck out her tongue, shrugging.  “I don’t know.  You’re usually the one that notices these things.”

The Doctor sighed, and then smiled again.  “Well, I do think it’s fantastic, really- all these pony puns.  Did I ever tell you that I’ve been to the original Manhattan, even before I visited Manehattan?”

“Yes, silly- you took me!” Derpy said with a giggle, poking the Doctor on the nose.  “Wow, you must lose a lot up there!”  She pointed a teasing hoof at his forehead.

The Doctor batted it away with mock agitation.  “Hmph!  I’ll have you know that I’m not quite that old yet!”

They chuckled together, still walking up the path, and then fell silent.  They had passed the border of Ponyville when Derpy finally spoke up.

“So it’s still weird, isn’t it?” she said quietly.  “Being settled down, and after so long, too.”

The Doctor sighed.  “Just a bit, but I can’t say that my life still isn’t a bit more exciting than most other ponies’.”

“Just a bit,” Derpy said with a wink.  “More action-y, with explosions-”

“And big, boomy things!” the Doctor finished for her.  They laughed for a bit as the path began to slope gently upward.

“So has anyone-”

“-Anypony,” Derpy gently corrected him.

The Doctor snorted.  “When do you use that, anyway, when compared to ‘anyone’?  The logistics are all so confusing.  Unless...”  He put a hoof to his chin, looking up at the sky.  “Aha!  It’s all random, then!”

“If you say so,” Derpy said innocently.  She patted down the celery stalk on his suit’s lapel.  “I guess you took your past self’s suggestion?”

“Guilty as charged,” the Doctor said cheerily.  “It is much easier to pull of wearing a vegetable as a pony- not to mention that it’s a very convenient snack.”

The path began to move out of the grasslands surrounding town.  Trees popped up here and there, the morning wind rustling through their branches.  The Sun, just beginning to rise up into the sky, shone its rays onto the soil, warming it with the touch of spring.

“So what do you think Dinky’s cutie mark will be?” the Doctor wondered aloud.  “Maybe a small star, or a pirate’s sword, or-”

“Doctor!  You’re not supposed to talk about that yet!” Derpy scolded him.  “It’ll come when it comes, and talking about it won’t make it happen any sooner!”

“Fine, fine,” the Doctor said quickly.

“...It’ll probably be a muffin, anyway,” Derpy said with a sniff.

The Doctor moaned dramatically.  “By Celestia’s mane, why is everyone in this household obsessed with muffins?  Your culinary skills shall be the death of me, Derpy!”

Derpy tilted her head head to one side.  “But...how could anyone not like muffins?  You always love my special Custard ones...”

The Doctor sighed.  He frowned. “Getting back on track, does anyone- anypony!- even know where they came from?  Cutie marks, I mean.”

Derpy paused. “...Magic?”

“Close enough,” the Doctor said with a chuckle.  “I guess mine was particularly fitting after all, what with the hourglass.”  He stopped to think.  “One of these days I’ll get around to asking one of the princesses where they come from.”

“Just like you’ll get around to taking the girls to a Sapphire Shores concert?” Derpy asked innocently.

The Doctor groaned.  “Oh, goodness.  That ‘Equestria Girls’ song is quite possibly the most horribly catchy song I have ever heard.  Especially with that crazy pink pony from town singing it incessantly.”

Derpy giggled.  “You mean the Cakes’ assistant?”

“You hear enough symphonies from Excelsia-zz, and soon everything starts to sound like Excelsia Migrainia,” the Doctor complained.  He quirked an eyebrow.  “And speaking of assistants, have I told you how wonderful you are lately?”

Derpy gave him a wide smile.  “Maybe...”

The Doctor snorted.  “Well!  You, Derpy Hooves, are the most bubbly, optimistic, fantastic, and generally wonderful pony that I have ever had the fortune to crash my TARDIS into.”

“That was actually the pegasi mail van,” Derpy pointed out, flushing slightly.  “And aw, thank you Doctor!”

The Doctor chuckled along with her.  “Five years ago, the Sun was just another big, flaming ball of gas in the sky.  But then you come along, and suddenly it’s the Sun again- something with meaning; something that’s worth protecting.  It’s always like that with my companions.”

“Remember the Gensea system?” Derpy asked.

“How could I forget?” the Doctor exclaimed.  “That whole issue with the B’ankflak and the Hoofooth- the way you solved it was amazing!”

Derpy gave him a wink.  “I’ve told you once, and I’ll tell you again!” she said in a sing-song voice.  “Muffins.  Solve. Everything.”

“Except for the Pegoon,” the Doctor sighed.  “I still don’t understand how you managed to end their civil war even while giving Type 4.5 diabetes to half their population.”

Derpy smiled- an honest, genuine smile that her eyes made glimmer and shine.  “Remember the Cosmofall of Coltrath?”

“Ah!  Love the way that slips off the tongue,” the Doctor replied.  “Always have.”

The path slowly meandered out of the woods and into a clearing.  Ahead, a rather strange formation of wood, rock, and metal towered above the trees.  The Whooves household was by no means anything similar to a “normal” house.

The Doctor stopped and turned, nodding toward the house.  “I suppose I’ll see you for breakfast, then, Derpy?”

She nodded happily.  “Yep!”

“Excellent!  I just have to-”

Abruptly, the Doctor’s mane flattened over his head, the smell of ozone filling his nostrils.  A shockwave erupted into the air and Derpy went tumbling head-over-hooves into a nearby tree.  The Doctor glanced over his shoulder and flinched at what he saw- a halo of torrential winds swirled violently over the second floor of the house.  A black sphere seemed to pulse and throb in the winds’ center, spinning wildly in place. From the wreckage, he was able to barely make out someone- or somepony- shouting something about coffee.

“Sparkler?” the Doctor asked.

“Sparkler,” Derpy giggled.

“I never really saw what humans saw in coffee, let alone what ponies did,” the Doctor complained.  “That mare obsesses over her caffeine intake too much.  I guess all species have their little idiosyncracies, though- it’s almost adorable.  Bananas- now there’s something that’ll knock your socks off. .”

Derpy flapped her wings, rising into the air.  “Well, I’ll go take care of it!  You go fix the TARDIS!”

“Will do, Madame Derptor!” the Doctor replied with a wink.

He watched for a moment and then turned away, sighing happily.

The Time Lord pony wandered around to the side of his house, finding a small, faded path that led back into the woods.  “Well, then,” the Doctor murmured with a smile.  “Let’s see how you’re doing, old girl.”  He trotted off down the path, closing his eyes and enjoying the scent of the pines around him.

The Doctor smiled as the shed came into view.  It was a small building, really, a bit off to the side and a little to the future.  He thought that the nice little grove of trees around it touched it off quite nicely.  Though it could do without that ultrayellow moss from Betelgeuse Forty-Two.

The Doctor grunted quietly to himself.  “Still looks like old mustard, the nasty stuff.”  He pushed his way through the moss and reached up his hoof, pushing open the door to the shed and peering inside.

The Doctor flicked a switch on the wall, and a series of white fluorescent lights flickered on, one by one.  A familiar blue box towered above him, its door slightly ajar.  He could make out PONY BOX in big, friendly lettering on the side- every time he saw that, the Doctor had to chuckle.

The Doctor grabbed the sonic screwdriver from its place on the wall by the TARDIS and pushed open the front door of the old police box.  “Hello, sexy,” he murmured with a smile.  “Hope you’re feeling better today.”

Wandering in, the Doctor took in the beeping console and its flashing lights with a warm smile.  He walked up to the central control panel and prodded the Wibbly lever with the sonic screwdriver, three and a half times. It lit up briefly and gave a little creaking noise.  He nodded in satisfaction.  “Hopefully that’s the Dimensional Trancendiom fixed, at least.”

The Doctor opened his eyes, looking about the cluttered control room.  He prodded at one of the flashing console screens, and sighed, smiling.  “I wonder what kind of muffins we’ll have for lunch today?” he mused aloud.  “Wonder if she took my advice on the Rofleenian Hagappeper.”  The pepper tended to be quite delicious and very spicy…well, spicy in a chocolate-y, pizza-y, and really television-y kind of way.

At least she wouldn’t use the Frosh Mussrooms again. The Doctor shuddered.  That had been one experience he would have gladly forgotten.

Suddenly, the lights flickered.

The Doctor spun around.  “What-?”

The room became lit with an eerie red glow, and the central console began to vibrate.

The Doctor held onto a rail with his two forelegs, looking around wildly.  “What?”

A giant purple robot dropped into the TARDIS.

Through the ceiling.

A large plate in the center of the robot’s chest let out a creak and slowly opened up.  Steam billowed out- as did one small purple unicorn.  Dinky Hooves waved at her father, hooves spread wide.

She was beaming.

“Can I keep her?”

For a moment, nothing made a sound.

“Hwaht?”

Family Breakfast

“No, Little Muffin, you may not keep Hrr’kticva as a pet,” Derpy said as she poked at a teakettle heating up on the stove.  Dinky sighed.

“Aw, c’mon, Mommy?  Pleeeease…?”

“Rule Number Forty-Three,” Sparkler said, glancing over a fashion magazine.  “Hm, Rarity’s new design looks pretty cool…”

“Y’mean the one about children’s card games?” Dinky asked.

“No, Muffin, the other Rule Forty-Three,” Derpy said kindly, reaching for a mug and nearly knocking it to the ground.  She quickly bent over to the side to catch it, somehow keeping her balance even as the mug’s handle landed around her right ear.

“No sentient lifeforms may be kept as pets, be they organic, siliconar, or spectrian,” Sparkler repeated blandly.

“Remember what happened with Tim?” Derpy asked as the teakettle began to whistle.  She hooked her hoof underneath the handle of the kettle, moving it away from the stove. It let out a small whirring noise, glowing a slight green as she did so.

Sparkler snorted.  “I’d never known that superintelligent shades of blue could be so…destructive.”  She flipped a page in her magazine and gave the stove a blank look.  “Tell me why Dad decided to get a Sonic Stove, again?”

“Thermionic Heating Unit!” Dinky corrected happily.  The unicorn filly paused and frowned, her ears drooping.  “…So I guess Hervy has to go home, then?”

Derpy nodded gently, placing a teabag into each of the four mugs laid out on the counter.  “Yes he does, Muffin. Poor Hrr’kticva might have parents who are worrying about her at home.”

Dinky drooped even further.  “Oh…”

The front door slammed, and a familiar brown earth pony stumbled in, some parts of his coat covered in soot.  He paused for a moment to hang up his tie and vest on the wall, revealing his hourglass Cutie Mark, and tottered into the kitchen.

“Well,” he said after a second, grinning wildly.  “The Agg’vrak’ityha have some…interesting farewell rituals.”

“Daddy!” Dinky cried happily, and jumped up from her chair to give him a hug.  She collapsed in front of him, curling her hooves around his right foreleg.

“Good morning, Dinky!” the Doctor said, still beaming widely.  He swung her up in the air and onto his back.  “And just how are we doing this morning?”

Dinky thought for a second.  “Um…kinda sad, and kinda happy too.  I dunno…”

The Doctor let her down, patting her blond mane with a hoof.  “It’s alright, Dinky.  Hervy had to go back home to her family.  It’s what she had to do.”

He pulled her closer covertly, putting his hoof between them and the other two.  “And what your mother and sister made me do, the spoilsports.  Wouldn’t know fun if it hit them on the rear end!”

Dinky giggled.  “You’re funny, Daddy.”

“Well, possibly, but more likely horribly and terrifically ridiculous!” the Doctor happily exclaimed, rearing up and crashing his head into a low-hanging computer screen.  “Ow.”  Immediately, a large red light started blinking, with a siren wailing as the house’s lights started to flash.

Derpy pressed a button on the back of the toaster.  The warning light immediately shut off, and the room went silent.  “You’re not supposed to start causing apocalyptic subroutines before dinner!” she scolded him, eyes going more cross-eyed than usual as she put down one of the mugs in front of him on the table.

“You mean before supper,” the Doctor corrected.

“You’ll call it dinner, or no banana muffins for a week!” Derpy warned.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Try me,” Derpy said with a wagging hoof.

The Doctor frowned.  “I wasn’t even paying attention when I hit it!”

“Makes it worse,” Sparkler said impassively.

Derpy nodded.  “Exactly.  Now, say you’re sorry for almost starting an apocalyptic subroutine.”

The Doctor groaned.  “Alright.  I’m sorry for almost starting an apocalyptic subroutine.”

He leaned over and whispered conspiratorially to Dinky again.  “Like I said, no fun whatsoever.”

“I heard that!”

The Doctor snorted.  “Fine, then.  So what’s the plan for today?”

“Since when do you make plans?” Sparkler asked with a snort.

“Well, just last week-“

“That was a clone, and you know it.  It doesn’t count, halfway-identical genome or not.” Sparkler retorted.

The Doctor frowned.  “Hrm…excellent point!  I’ll have to come up with something else, then.”

“Mommy, the muffins are burning,” Dinky pointed out.

Derpy’s eyes widened.  “What-?”

Sure enough, a group of carrot muffins laid out on the counter seemed to have spontaneously combusted, flickering a bright green within a collection of fluorescent flames.  The stone beneath their tray began to darken, presumably with some form of chemically unstable ash.

“Oh no!  My babies!” Derpy screamed.  “Don’t worry, I’ll save you!”  Without hesitation, she twirled up and about, soaring toward the counter and snatching the muffins from their place.  “Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-!”

“Wait, Mom!” Sparkler shouted.  “Don’t fly out-“

Derpy, flying upside-down with her wings whirling madly, smashed through the window. The glass blew outward with a crash, but shattered harmlessly to the ground outside.  The other ponies flinched back, shielding their faces from the scene.

Derpy flew high into the sky. As she reached the apex of her ascent, she looked down at the muffin tin she was holding.  The fire had long since gone out.

“Huh,” Derpy said, tilting her head.  “All better now-“

The muffin tin exploded in a shockwave of brilliant viridian.  Derpy was thrown violently downward, wings reflexively fluttering to slow her descent.  The other three Whooves below took cover, watching as Derpy crashed into the floor.

After a moment, Dinky poked at her mom’s unmoving form on the floor of the kitchen.  “…Mommy?  Are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” Derpy said woozily.  “At least…I saved…the muffins…”

She held up the tin.  Indeed, there were still two muffins sitting there, mostly unharmed, if a bit singed.  The Doctor sighed.

“Forget the muffins- look at the roof,” Sparkler muttered, eyeing the large hole in the ceiling.  “That’s the fifth time this month.”

The Doctor sighed again.  “Well, at least nopony was hurt or injured.”

“Except the muffins,” Derpy put in sadly.

The Doctor nodded solemnly.  “Except the muffins.  I can help you with a second batch later, though.”

Derpy instantly perked up.  “Hooray!  And we can make carrot-pumpkin-banana muffins, right?”

“Of course!” the Doctor replied excitedly.  He paused.  “Though…we’re never making those apple strudels again.  Apples are rubbish; hate apples.  Not to mention those pear muffins...”

“Hey, I liked those!” Dinky said, crossing her hooves and giving her father a rasberry.

Sparkler sighed.  “So, any prediction for when today’s craziness will end?”

The Doctor paused in the middle of his pastry reverie, and smirked.  “Oh, no, my dear Sparkler.  Today’s craziness has hardly begun.”

Sisterhooves

“C’mon Sparkler! Last one there’s a rotten cupcake!”

Sparkler sighed to herself as she trotted after Dinky.  The smaller purple unicorn pranced ahead on the road, cheering in a singsong voice.

“The school will still be there in five minutes,” Sparkler said, ambling along the path and eyeing a passing stallion approvingly.  The pony in question flushed and walked a bit quicker.

Dinky galloped over to her sister.  “Why’d he turn all funny red like that, sis?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re older, squirt,” Sparkler said with a slight smirk, ruffling Dinky’s mane.

Dinky pouted.  “Aw…but that’s what Daddy keeps telling me whenever I ask him about all the fun stuff he does on Hearth’s Warming Eve.  And something about specials.  And then, when I asked Mommy where fillies come from, she laughed at me!”

Sparkler snorted.  “Heh.  You’ll be fine, squirt.  What’re you so excited about, anyway?”

“Ooh!” Dinky gasped.  “Me and Pipsqueak are gonna play Pirates today during recess!  And, uh, Sweetie Belle said I could have one of the cool capes that she and Scootaloo play with if I gave her one of Mommy’s special muffins!”

“So that’s why you were so quick to leave once you got your hooves that basket,” Sparkler said with a raised eyebrow, eyeing the basket balanced on Dinky’s back.

Dinky looked a bit guilty.  “Well…I know they were supposed to be for tea-time tonight…but it’s just one!  I’m sure Mommy’s won’t miss it.”

“This is Mom we’re talking about,” Sparkler said.  “And a muffin.  Put two and two together, Dinky.”

Dinky cocked her head to the side, still trotting beside her sister..  “Huh?”

“Never mind.”  Sparkler just groaned.  “All right, all right.  Let’s keep going, or else you really will be late.”

“Oh!  Right!”

“Hey!” Sparkler cried as Dinky sped off into the distance.  “I didn’t mean to run off like that!”

“Can’t catch me!” Dinky sang out, giggling.

Sparkler narrowed her eyes, a thin smile crossing her face.  “So you want a race, huh?  I think I can help with that.”

With a kick of her hooves, Sparkler took off galloping, kicking up dust and clouds of dirt in her wake.  “Coming through!” she shouted as she barreled past her younger sister.

“Hey, no fair!” Dinky yelped, and redoubled her own pace.

The two ran across the last green hill before town, laughing happily together until they crossed over into the outskirts of town.  The little red schoolhouse stood proudly as the bell atop its roof chimed to announce the day’s beginning.

Sparkler and Dinky stopped some distance away, panting and slightly sweating.  Down the path, they could see a small, brown-and-white colt waving excitedly in their direction.

After a moment, Dinky giggled and brushed herself off.  “See you later, Sparkler!”

“Dinky…”

The unicorn filly turned around.  “Huh?”

Sparkler smiled softly, something twinkling in her eyes.

“…Have a good day at school for me, okay?”

“Duh,” Dinky said, as if scolding her sister.  “’Course I will!”

“C’mon Dinky!” Pipsqueak cried from the schoolhouse door.  “We’ll be late for Miss Cheerilee!”

“Right!  Bye again!” Dinky cheered.  She ran off down the path to the school, and immediately started chattering eagerly with her friend.  The pair disappeared through the doors as the bell stopped ringing and the day began.

Sparkler smiled to herself as she watched Dinky go, and then slowly trotted off back home.

A Visitor

Derpy happily trotted down the dirt road, an empty paper bag in her mouth. Birds chirped in the trees around her, and she gave a slight wave to a yellow Pegasus pony that was pulling a cart full of frogs.

“I think her name’s…um…Shutterfly,” Derpy said. She’d always found it easier to speak aloud to herself than to just think in her head. “Nice frogs!”

As she kept moving toward the town proper, Derpy heard a familiar voice calling her name from behind.

“Derpy! Hey, Derpy! Wait up!”

She turned around and looked curiously over her flank. She smiled widely in recognition. “Carrot Top!”

The orange mare nodded, coming to a stop and panting lightly. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Carrot Top said.

“What for?” Derpy asked, tilting her head to one side. “I just saw you last night.”

“You mean last week.”

“Same difference!” Derpy cheered.

“Not exactly—argh, never mind,” Carrot grumbled.

“Time travelers,” she muttered under her breath. “Anyways, I found something I wanted to show you. Come on. It’s by the Apples’ farm.”

Derpy’s ears drooped. “But…I was going to get muffin cupcakes…”

Carrot groaned. “I’m sure the Cakes will have plenty left for you later. I’ll even buy you one myself. Now, come on!”

Derpy smiled again. “Okay! What are we waiting for?”

Carrot watched her speed off. “Wait! It’s…the other…way…” She gestured somewhat limply with her hoof off in the opposite direction.

Within moments, a grey dot re-appeared on the horizon. Derpy sped forward, swooping down and snatching her from the ground. “Okay, Carrot Top! This way!”

“Derpy, put me down—ack!”

Carrot Top landed on the ground next to the Apples’ barn, coughing and wheezing. Derpy spiralled down beside her. “Derpy…did you have to fly into that weathervane?” Carrot asked weakly.

“Nope!” Derpy said. “But it helped to know which way the wind was going!”

“…I’m not even going to bother to respond to that,” Carrot muttered. She shook her head, trying to pull herself together. “Okay, it’s over here.”

She trotted over to the barn door. Big Macintosh, the ostensible Apple Family patriarch (though everyone knew his sister Applejack ran the place) was waiting there. He gave her a silent nod, and tilted his head a bit to the side when he saw Derpy.

“Big Mac, this is my friend Derpy Whooves,” Carrot Top began.

Big Macintosh chewed on a piece of straw. “Eeyup.”

“She’s going to take a look at that thing that fell into your barn.”

“Eeyup.”

Carrot frowned. “You could say something more than two syllables long, you know.”

“…Eeyup.”

Carrot rolled her eyes and stormed into the barn. Derpy beamed at Big Macintosh. “Hi, Big Mac! How’re the Zap Apples? Still doing well with that Alfafreyan fertilizer?“

“Derpy!” Carrot shouted from inside.

“Coming!” Derpy fluttered into the air and attempted to give a short bow to Big Mac. She quickly flew sideways into the barn after her friend. “Away!”

Big Mac watched her go with some apprehension and then turned away, chuckling quietly. “Guess she really is as bubbly as everypony says she is,” he said to himself, thinking aloud. “Sure hope she can figure out what that thing is.” He ambled slowly back down to the apple orchard.

Derpy stared up at the giant hole in the roof of the barn. “So …what made the sky come in the barn?” she asked Carrot Top,squinting slightly.

“It’s a hole,” Carrot answered exasperatedly. “And it was made by something falling out of the sky yesterday morning—something that’s in this crater here.” She pointed down with a hoof. Derpy’s vision slowly lined up with what her friend was pointing at.

It was a large crater in the ground, perhaps about ten hooflengths deep. Slight wisps of steam rose from its surface, and shattered and twisted metal lined the bottom. Derpy found her left eye drawn to a dark, sooty shape lying near the bottom of the crater. A metallic glint shone through the ashes covering its surface. The object seemed to be roughly egg-shaped, though much larger than one.

“What’s that thing?” she asked with wide eyes, pointing it out to Carrot.

Carrot shrugged. “I was hoping you could tell me.”

Derpy paused to think for a moment. “Hm…I don’t think it’s a Blarggy pod.”

“A what pod?” Carrot Top asked.

“A Blarggy pod,” Derpy said seriously as she poked and prodded at the object. “I think the Doctor called it something long and complicated, like a Blagragftha.”

“Are you sure you should be doing that?” Carrot asked, watching Derpy poke the egg-like object with a stick.

“Probably not,” Derpy said, focusing intently. “Ooh! I see!”

“What?” Carrot asked, her pupils dilating. She flinched away. “What is it?”

“It’s a Granyar probe,” Derpy said, nodding with a satisfied smile. “Yep, it’s definitely a Granyar probe…or maybe a Prarbyar Grone…”

“Urgh…” Carrot groaned. “I thought you were supposed to deal with this sort of thing all the time!”

“I do,” Derpy said, frowning. “Hrm…maybe if I poke it here…”

A burst of steam shot out of the side. Carrot leapt back, her eyes wide. “Whoa! Be careful with that!”

“I know what I’m doing.” Derpy sniffed, offended. “Now Carrot Top, if you would—”

“What’s it doing now?”

Derpy whirled around and gasped. “Ooh...”

Another jet of steam burst forth from the top of the object, and was soon joined by another. The room was filled with the whirring of unseen gears. Carrot eyed the sphere nervously, sweat dripping down the side of her face.

“Derpy” she whispered, watching a long, thin crack appear down the side of the object. “We should probably leave—”

“You say something, Carrot Top?” Derpy asked absentmindedly, watching the now clearly alien object in complete fascination. Carrot gritted her teeth and eyed it with suspicion after making sure that she had a clear route to the door.

The crack slowly widened and thousands of tiny creases emerged from its surface. They folded back in a shimmering array, revealing a dark cavity within. The air in the room stilled.

Derpy slowly wandered over and peered inside the object. Her eyes lit up. “Aha! So it was a Blarggy pod!”

“Huh?”

With what sounded like a soft wheeze, a small, spherical creature popped out of the pod’s central cavity and turned toward the two Equestrians standing before it. It hummed quietly.

“Boop.”

“Derpy,” Carrot murmured, eyeing the thing’s metallic green hide. “What is that?”

“Beep,” the creature repeated, poking at Carrot with a long tentacle.

She slapped it away, flinching slightly. “Not interested.”

“Blarggy, meet Carrot Top!” Derpy said happily. She blinked. “Oh, and Carrot Top, meet Blarggy!”

“His name isn’t actually Blarggy,” she stage-whispered to Carrot. “But most of his kind don’t mind being called that.”

Carrot Top swallowed, staring at the “Blarggy.” “Nice to meet you?” she said uncertainly, holding out a hoof. The small creature looked at it for a moment, and then eagerly took hold of it with one tentacle, shaking it quickly.

“Aw, look, he likes you!” Derpy cheered. Carrot smiled weakly.

“Well, it doesn’t seem so bad,” she said. “Problem solved, I guess. Once we help Big Mac fix up his barn, do you still want to get those muffin cupcakes?”

The room instantly went silent. Derpy’s mouth hung open, her left eye staring at Carrot with shock.

“What?” Carrot asked. “What in Celestia’s name could possibly be wrong now?”

“You said the c-word,” Derpy mumbled quietly, watching her and trembling.

“Huh? What, ‘cupcake’? What’s so bad about saying cupca—” Carrot struggled to speak around the hoof in her mouth. “Mmf! Hmphgrf!”

“Look,” Derpy said, pointing at the alien. Carrot gulped, and slowly turned to face the creature.

The small alien, previously a shimmering green, was now a dark crimson. Black stripes ran across its torso, criss-crossing with lines of deep blue.

A low hum filled the room, and Carrot Top realized with some alarm that it was coming from the “Blarggy.”

“Cup...cake. Cup-cakes. Cupcakes.”

“Oh, no,” Derpy said, slowly backing away. “Oh no, oh no, oh no.”

“Mmrph?” Carrot demanded frantically, shoving Derpy’s hoof out of her mouth. “What’s going on?”

“Um...remember how I already knew what it was?” Derpy asked. Carrot nodded slowly, and Derpy winced. “Well, the last time me and the Doctor visited the Blarggy planet, things got kinda messy.”

“In what way?” Carrot asked dangerously, slowly backing away from the growling alien.

“Nothing! Nothing!” Derpy protested. Her flank hit the side of the barn, and she paled. “I mean...look over there!”

“You mean look right here!” Carrot said, eyes wide. “It’s coming toward us!”

“Cupcakes,” the alien moaned. It took a single small step forward, its shadow stretching along the length of the floor.

“Now what?” Carrot hissed.

Derpy shrugged. “Beats me.”

“You’re supposed to know about these things!” Carrot shouted, growing frantic.

“Oh, look! Blarggy’s doing something else!” Derpy said quickly.

Carrot spun around. “So now what do we—what in Celestia’s name is that thing doing?”

“Beep. Cup. Beep. Cakes.” The alien was visibly shaking now, having stopped in its advance to stare up at the ceiling.

There was a deafening silence.

“Cupcakes!”

With a crash of glass and the splintering of wood, the alien flew up into the air, fiery jets shooting out from its “feet” and into the roof. It smashed through the structure, leaving only a telltale hole behind. Carrot watched in shock as the creature quickly became nothing more than a tiny dot in the sky, disappearing toward Ponyville.

Carrot Top’s jaw dropped, and she ran around the barn in circles. Small flames still licked the ground near the blast radius of the creature’s takeoff. “It’s headed toward Ponyville! We have to stop it!” Sweating wildly, she galloped toward the barn door—and was stopped by Derpy’s hoof on her side.

“Oh, c’mon Carrot Top!” Derpy said, giggling nervously. “I’m sure it just wants to say hi to everypony!”

Mr. Cake’s panicked shriek was quite clearly audible, even from half a mile away.

Derpy quickly picked Carrot up in her hooves and flew into the air, holding the other pony over her head. “Right! We’re off!” Without a moment’s hesitation, she shot upward and through the roof, leaving a third hole right in the middle.

“What the heck are we doing?” Carrot shouted at the top of her lungs. Her mane whipped around her face, blown by the wind.

“Shush, missy!” Derpy commanded, swerving to avoid the schoolhouse’s bell below. A few fillies and colts in the schoolyard waved to them excitedly. “We’re going to stop this alien invasion, and you’re going to like it!”

“It’s hardly an invasion,” Carrot yelled back over the wind. “And don’t call me missy!”

“There!” Derpy said as she pointed to a tall building with her back hoof, spinning about recklessly. It was wide, pink, and decorated like a candy—Sugarcube Corner! Above it, a small, crimson shape hovered over a stream of fire, repeatedly slamming into the shop’s roof. Small flames flickered on the shingles. Outside by the door, the Cakes watched in horror, a few shopping bags lying on the ground beside them. “I can see it right there!”

“Derpy, don’t do that! You’re going to make us—AHHHHHH!”

Falling in a wild and uncontrolled spiral, Derpy managed to keep hold of Carrot long enough to set them both gently on the ground.

“Carrot Top! Mrs. Whooves!” Mr. Cake said, galloping over to them. Sweat poured down his forehead and he gestured wildly to the small flames bursting up over his roof. “This thing suddenly started destroying our shop! We have no idea how to stop it!”

“Derpy, why is it doing this?” Carrot said through gritted teeth.

“Well, um.” Derpy paused. “They were having some problem with shedding their skins, so I found out that cupcakes work pretty well as a kind of stimulant for that.”

“Really,” said Carrot flatly. Derpy nodded with a beaming smile.

“Yup! And we apparently helped make cupcakes the national currency…which didn’t work out because we also may have gotten their race addicted to them by mistake.”

Carrot slapped her forehead. “Okay, wow. We don’t have time to deal with that right now. How do we stop it?”

Derpy frowned, her wings falling to her sides as she screwed her face up in complete concentration. “Hm…”

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie ran up, her mouth hanging open at the burning building. “Oh, no! Gummy’s still in there!”

“I’ll get him.” Carrot said, narrowing her eyes.

“But—“

“I’ll be fine,” Carrot said. She looked at Derpy. “You’d better find some way to stop that thing before it causes any more havoc. Got it?”

Without even waiting for an answer, she dashed into the house, narrowly avoiding a stray blast from the small alien above.

Mrs. Cake trotted over to her husband and Derpy. “Oh dear, oh dear. What are we going to do?”

Derpy was silent for a moment, tracing her hoof in the grass. She then gasped loudly. “Aha!”

“What is it, dear?” Mrs. Cake asked, looking concerned. Derpy held up a hoof proudly.

“I’ve got it!” she declared. “Mrs. Cake, do you still have that huge vat of whipped cream?”

“How did you know about that?” Mrs. Cake asked with wide eyes.

“And Mr. Cake—do you have any extra ovens downstairs?”

Mr. Cake blinked. “Well, yes I do. But I don’t think that—“

“Alrighty!” Derpy said loudly, pumping her hoof in the air. “I’ve got just the solution to this problem! Pinkie! I need your help!”

Pinkie Pie happily hopped over. “Okie-Dokie-Lokie!”

The two of them dashed into the undamaged first floor, dodging any falling debris from the roof. The Cakes watched them go in wonder.

“Do you have any idea what they’re doing, honey?” Mr. Cake asked his wife. She shook her head.

Not five minutes later, Carrot Top came galloping out of the house, Gummy’s teeth clenched tightly around her mane. She quickly shook him off and panted, sweating furiously.

The alligator happily waddled over to the Cakes, and sat on his head. Mrs. Cake leaned forward worriedly.

“Are you okay, dear? Did you see Pinkie in there?”

Carrot shook her head. “No; I thought she was out here with you!”

Mr. Cake gasped and pointed to the shop. “What’s that noise?”

A loud rattling sound had begun to emanate from Sugarcube Corner. The building itself shook slightly. The Cakes backed away with wide eyes.

Carrot blinked. “What the—“

With a crash, the front door burst open. Smoke filled the doorway, causing Carrot to cough slightly. When she managed to clear her vision, she immediately noticed Pinkie Pie standing in the entrance, but with what looked to be a giant cupcake behind her, perched on top of a wagon.

“Help me get it out, help me get it out!” Pinkie shouted frantically. Carrot wasted no time in dashing over and seizing one end of the wagon, and slowly but surely removing the gargantuan treat from the bakery.

Mr. Cake exchanged a worried glance with his wife. “But how is that going to help?”

“Hey, Blarggy!” shouted Derpy’s voice from inside the bakery. “The cupcake is served!”

Immediately, the small alien froze in its assault on the Cakes’ shop. It hovered for a moment, and then sped toward the giant pastry treat. Carrot dove away out of reflex, only coming up to watch in awe as the creature began to devour the cupcake, piece by piece.

With a cry, Derpy flew out of the second-floor window, her wings flapping madly to keep her aloft. In shock, Carrot realized that she seemed to be carrying something behind her, a large container of sorts.

“Everypony, clear!” Derpy shouted, and flew a loop above the roof, causing the container to flip upside down. Time seemed to stand still…

A half-ton of milky-white whipped cream poured out from the vat, and over the burning roof.

With a tremendous hiss of steam, the fires slowly started to go out. The bubbling whipped cream slowly dripped down the sides of the bakery, small bits of foam coming off and landing on the ground below.

Mrs. Cake gaped. “What—how—?”

Mr. Cake’s eye twitched.

Smiling happily, Derpy landed lightly on the ground and rested the empty vat beside her with a loud clunk. “That seems to have solved the problem!” she said with a wide smile.

Mr. Cake chuckled nervously. “Heh… Yes. Of course.” He swallowed, looking at the charred roof of his bakery.

Mrs. Cake put a hoof on her husband’s side, looking worried. “At least the twins were at the daycare today.” He nodded in silent agreement.

Carrot looked at the pacified alien (still munching on the cupcake), and then to Derpy. “So what do we do now? Get back its pod and tell it to leave?”

Derpy nodded. “Sounds about right!” Carrot moved to leave.

“Oh, but wait!”

Carrot paused. “Yes?”

Derpy grinned. “When you’re on your way back, make sure to try and get as many ponies as you can to come with you.”

Carrot frowned. “What for?”

“What do you think?” Derpy giggled, taking off and gliding over to the Cakes. She put her hooves around them. “We still have to help clean up! We can’t leave it all to the Cakes, right? That’d just be mean!”

Carrot Top looked thoughtful for a moment, and then smiled. “…Of course, Derpy. I’ll make sure to get every able-bodied mare and stallion helping out.”

“Sounds good!” Derpy shouted, hovering a few feet in the air as Carrot trotted away. “We’ll see you in a few minutes!” She landed, lopsided smile broadening.

Mrs. Cake trotted over to Derpy. “Thank you for that, Miss Whooves,” she said earnestly. I’m not sure where the little thing came from, or why it started attacking our shop, but I really do appreciate you helping us out.”

“One question, though,” Mr. Cake interrupted, quirking an eyebrow and frowning slightly. “Where did you get the idea for the giant cupcake?”

Derpy snickered. “It was obvious, silly! It wanted a cupcake, so I gave it one!”

Mr. Cake looked confused. “But how did you make it in the first place? We don’t have ovens that big.”

She gave him a wink as Pinkie Pie happily hopped over, her mane flopping from side to side. Derpy opened her mouth to speak, but Pinkie’s hoof shot out and covered it.

“Shenanigans,” she said grimly.

“But—”

“Shenanigans.”

The Stars Above

Sparkler chewed an apple thoughtfully as she flipped to the next page in her book, Sunset.  She couldn’t see what all the other mares had seen in it; from what she could tell, the main character seemed to be somewhat of a whiny little—

“Hello there!”

Sparkler slammed the book shut, looking up at the source of the voice.  “Oh. Hey Dad,” she said with a nod.

The Doctor gave her a boyish grin.  “Mind if I take a seat?” he said, gesturing to the couch.

“Oh!  Sure.”

He smiled.  “Much appreciated, my dear Sparkler!  What’s that you’ve got there?”

Sparkler groaned and held up the book.  “What, this?  It’s nothing.  Cloudchaser said I should try it, but I really have no idea what she was going on about.  The plot’s boring, the characters are uninteresting, blah, blah, blah.”

The Doctor put on a shocked look.  “Goodness!  You do seem like you need rescuing.  Well, fancy that.  You know how I still owe you a TARDIS trip from your birthday last month?”

Sparkler dropped the book, her eyes widening.  She stared at her father.  “We’re doing that now?”

He shrugged.  “Well, I do understand if you don’t want to, but…” He waggled his eyebrows at her.  “I mean, everyone should have the chance to sit down with a good book every now and again, and I’d hate to tear you away from such a riveting piece of literature—“

“I want to.  Let’s go.”  Sparkler sounded deadly serious, and more than a little desperate.  Her eye twitched as she leaned forward.  “Please don’t leave me alone with that thing.”

The Doctor laughed warmly.  “Oh, Sparkler.  Of course we can go.  Care to follow along?”  He stood up from the couch and gave her a friendly wink.

Sparkler smirked.  “Always, Dad.”

“So!” the Doctor said loudly, dashing around the central console of the TARDIS and flipping levers left and right.  “All of space and time, only half of which we’ve been to on family trips, so where do you want to go?”

Sparkler looked up from her seat on the side of the TARDIS with a bemused expression.  “I don’t know.  Surprise me.”

The Doctor grinned, pausing for a moment to hit a particularly large red button.  “Excellent!  I always love a new adventure.  Hm…where to go?  There’s the Black Hole of Neighstor V, the Shimmering Glacier in the Arlaponius System…”

He stopped in his tracks, and smiled slowly.  “No.  I have a better idea.”

In a flash, the Doctor was darting around the TARDIS computer like some kind of bird, whizzing about and slamming down levers, punching in numbers, and generally making gleeful mayhem.  Sparkler watched in some bemusement as her father hit one more button—

And that familiar screeching noise filled the room as the TARDIS began to disappear from Equestria.  Sparkler grinned in excitement, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck start to prick up in anticipation.

“No turbulence!  Fancy that,” the Doctor said with a chuckle.  “It’s been ages since the Time Vortex last gave me a trip without the occasional hiccup.  Good on you, old girl.”  He gave the TARDIS mainframe a friendly pat as Sparkler rolled her eyes.

With a slight hiss and another grinding sound, the TARDIS came to a stop with a small clunk.  The floor shook slightly, but other than that, all was still.  Sparkler gave the Doctor an inquisitive look.

“Well?”

He smiled.  “Go take a look.”

Giving her father a friendly grin, Sparkler nodded and took her first tentative steps outside—

And stared.

Outside the TARDIS doors stood an endless plain of smooth, black sand.  The ground was enveloped in shadows, darkness casting its eye over the desert. Certain grains of sand seemed to shimmer in a brilliant cascade of color, flickering from red, to green, to purple, and then to tints and shades that Sparkler couldn’t even name.

On either side of the desert rose a mountain.  The peak of each towered into the dark skies above, their tips disappearing into the atmosphere.  Their sides glinted an impossible cerulean pink, and reflected dully onto the colored sand. The base of each was so unmistakably huge that Sparkler didn’t doubt that each could have fit half of Equestria inside.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” the Doctor said, trotting over to his daughter with a grin.  He prodded her in the side with a hoof, and whispered into her ear.

“Now look up.”

Far above the tips of the mountains, a deep, clear black sky glittered above the plain of sand.  Sparkler felt as though her eyes were piercing into the depths of infinity as she looked into the ends of space, galaxies and distant quasars blinking furiously like tiny fireflies.

And then she saw it.

Above them, a huge star shone, its enormous body casting a thin stream of deep red light onto the world below. Four moons, creating the shape of a diamond in the sky, circled slowly in orbit around the planet below.  Brilliant trails of light, colored every hue of the rainbow, stretched from pole to pole, connecting the celestial bodies in a dance of light and wonder. And within that diamond, encircled by all the colors of the spectrum, shone a message, written in the stars:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPARKLER.

Sparkler gaped in amazement and awe as her father walked up from behind.  “Do you like it?” he asked gleefully.  “Took me forever to get the words right.  Did you know that this is one of only two places in the entire universe where you can find a constellation with that exact shape?  And in a serif font, no less!  Not to mention the tetranary lunar system, which I think is really quite—”

The Doctor was cut off as Sparkler leapt for him, wordlessly giving him a huge hug.  He stopped talking, and instead just hugged her back, holding her close to him.

“Thank you,” Sparkler said.  “It’s…it’s so beautiful..  You didn’t have to go to all that trouble, but…thank you.”

Her father smiled softly.  “But I did have to ‘go to all that trouble,’ Sparkler,” he said quietly.  Something old and wise twinkled in his eyes.  “I’ve been through all of Creation, but I haven’t really seen it until I’ve seen it with you.  My family.”

Sparkler chuckled to herself, wiping her eyes.  “Heh.  Could we just stay here for a little bit?  I want to remember this.”

The Doctor nodded.  “But of course!”

As she sat there, the Doctor taking his place a few yards away, a comet blazed its way across the sky, right through the middle of the constellation.  Its icy trail whirled around it as if in a dance, and oddly enough, it was soon joined by a larger comet, flying right alongside the first one.  Its tail was smaller and more controlled, but it glittered with the light of a thousand gems.  Sparkler smiled, and bowed her head.

A few minutes later, she stood up and wandered back over to the TARDIS.  The Doctor sprang up from the ground and trotted over, shooting a winning smile at his daughter.

“Finished?” he asked.

Sparkler shook her head, still smiling.  “Never.  But it’s enough for now.” With a few steps, she pushed open the door to the TARDIS and trotted inside.

“So!” the Doctor said, following close behind.  “Time to head back home?”

Sparkler looked thoughtful for a moment.  “Actually…could we head to the Gaming Centers on Mara Rossi VII?  Just as a quick detour.”

The Doctor winked.  “Any time.”

A Quiet Café

“And you’ll want to visit Canterlot, for sure. Lovely buildings—highest on the planet. Not that that’s saying much, but there you go. Oh! And definitely take a look at Cloudsdale. It’s a fantastic place, really.”

The alien, a tall insectoid creature with several deep-blue eyes, bowed slightly to the Doctor. Its mandibles moved slowly, letting out something unintelligible.

“Oh, it’s nothing, really,” the Doctor said with a smile and a pat on the back. “I always love helping out some tourists in a fix. Love the Hawaiian shirt, by the way. Very nice touch.”

The alien waved its arms around a few times, proudly displaying its clothing. It tapped two of its lanky limbs together, creating a sound not entirely unlike a pair of drumsticks.

“You’re quite welcome,” the Doctor said, quickly bobbing his head. “Went on a little galaxy tour myself a few years ago. Wonderful honeymoon.” He paused. “Ah, and you’ll want to keep your Appearifier Transmogricant on at all times. The locals might not take kindly to strange visitors in their midst.”

A few more clicks and clacks made their way from the alien’s jaws.

The Doctor nodded. “Good man—bug—thing. Brilliant. Now, make sure you learn the language, and don’t be taken in by street vendors! Nasty lot.”

The alien cracked its neck a few times in what was presumably a nod, then turned to walk away. As it grew smaller in the distance, moving toward the outskirts of Ponyville, its form flickered. Instead of an insectoid extraterrestrial, a lanky, orange-colored stallion was now wandering into town.

The Doctor grinned. “Fantastic. I do hope he has a good time.” He trotted along down the road for a moment before he stopped, putting a hoof on his chin.

“That’s taken care of. Now what did I come here for in the first place?” the Doctor mused. He looked around, trying to spot anything that might trigger his memory. Sadly, nothing presented itself.

With a sigh, the Doctor trotted on down the road toward Ponyville. He waved to a few passers-by as he entered the town proper. Most shops and restaurants were already in full swing for the day, and the town square was actually quite crowded when the Doctor arrived. “I’m sure I’ll remember soon enough.” As if on cue, his stomach rumbled rather loudly. The Doctor chuckled awkwardly, and looked around for a bit before finally stopping.

“Why, hello there!” the Doctor said, smiling and galloping over to a tableside café. A sign over the entrance read Butterfly Fries in large, pink letters, and several ponies sat at roadside tables just next to the building. “Fancy meeting you here.”

Carrot Top looked up from her menu and groaned. “Hello Doctor. What might I have done to earn the honor of this visit?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Oh, nothing, really. Just spotted you and thought I might come over and say hello—” His stomach growled loudly.

Carrot sighed. “I can see where this is going. Take a seat.”

The Doctor reached forward tentatively. “Oh, really? No, I couldn’t.”

Carrot stared. “It’s fine, really.”

“Brilliant.” The Doctor grabbed a chair and sat down in it quicker than Carrot could blink. He beamed.

Carrot held up a hoof. Within a few moments, the waiter, a rather stocky earth pony, appeared by their table. “Yes, ma’am?”

“I guess we’ll have another menu for my friend here,” Carrot said, gesturing to the Doctor. The waiter nodded and vanished back into the café.

“So what brings you into town today, anyway?” Carrot asked, leaning back in her chair. “Far as I remember, you’re usually just fiddling around with some gizmo or such up at your house.”

The Doctor snorted. “Well, I do occasionally make house calls, you know.”

“And you expect me to think you’re doing that right now?” Carrot quirked an eyebrow.

“Your menu, sir?” the waiter said, trotting up to their table and offering a small menu. The Doctor nodded gratefully, whisking the paper out of the waiter’s hooves and onto the table.

“Hm, the custard looks quite nice,” the Doctor said to himself, flipping the menu over. “And that celery salad doesn’t seem to shabby either.”

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Carrot said with a wan smirk. “Just in town for a quick bite to eat? Errands to run, perhaps?”

“Fancy that,” the Doctor said, grinning. “They do have carrot fingers here.” He paused and looked up. “Did you say something?”

Carrot put a hoof to her forehead. “Never mind. I’m ready to order. Waiter!”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I’ll have the walnut and apple sandwich, please,” Carrot Top said pleasantly, handing the waiter her menu. “And you, Doctor?”

He smiled. “Carrot fingers and custard for me.”

The waiter nodded. “The custard’s for desert, right?”

The Doctor frowned, giving the waiter an odd look. “No. The carrot fingers go in the custard.”

“Really?” Carrot asked, sighing.

The Doctor nodded quickly. “Absolutely! Carrot fingers and custard make the best dish known to ponykind—after muffins, of course.”

Carrot Top traced her hoof idly on the table as the waiter left for the kitchen. “So, anyway—”

A loud crashing noise erupted from the interior of the café. Dark plumes of smoke were just barely visible, coming from the door to the kitchen. A deep voice echoed through the building and just outside.

“You have repressed our kind for far too long.”

“Sweet Celestia!” someone cried. “The oven’s talking!”

“For years we have slumbered, but now now we will rise up and destroy you.”

The Doctor sighed, moving his head down to the side and coming back up with a strange, cylindrical object in his mouth. It glinted a cold silver, its tip glowing a faint green. “Excuse me for a moment,” he said in a slightly muffled voice.

“We shall revolt and end the oppression of kitchen appliances everywhe—”

The green end of the object in the Doctor’s mouth glowed brightly, and a low buzzing sounded through the café. Immediately, the voice ceased speaking, and billows of white steam came from the kitchen.

“It just stopped!”

The Doctor nodded to himself and tucked the object back away. He looked up at Carrot Top expectantly. “You were saying?”

Carrot blinked. “What was that? And what just happened?”

“Oh, nothing important, really,” the Doctor said with an innocent look. “Do go on.”

Carrot narrowed her eyes. “That was your sonic thing, wasn’t it?”

The Doctor waved one hoof around dismissively. “Oh, was it? I hadn’t noticed.”

Carrot sighed. “So how’s Sparkler doing?”

“Fine, fine,” the Doctor said in an amiable tone. “She’s still trying to get that part-time job at that Boutique in town. I do hope she gets it.”

Carrot rolled her eyes. “You have seen how she looks at your time machine, right?”

The Doctor stared. “What do you mean?”

“She might talk about fashion, but Sparkler’s completely taken with those adventures of yours,” Carrot said. She tilted her head. “What, you didn’t notice? It’s obvious she wants to follow in your footsteps. That’s all she ever talks about when she’s with Derpy and I.”

The Doctor grinned weakly. “Well. Fancy that. Can’t say I noticed that, really.”

“Although,” Carrot said, looking up. “She’d probably defeat alien menaces with the power of sarcasm rather than whatever you use.”

The Doctor chuckled. “That sounds like my Sparkler, all right.”

“And Dinky seems to be good friends with that colt from Trottingham,” Carrot said with a nod. “What was his name, Pipsqueak?”

“Excuse me,” the waiter mumbled, coming over with a tray in his mouth. He set it down on the table, causing the two plates on top to shake slightly. Lifting each plate up from its place, the waiter set down a rather tasty-looking sandwich in front of Carrot Top, and a strange, soupy thing by the Doctor. He flushed a bit. “Sorry they’re so late—we had some problems in the kitchen.”

The Doctor beamed, staring at his own meal intently. “Looks delicious!”

A chiming sound rang throughout the café.

The Doctor looked up. “What was that?”

A dim orb of light, growing brighter with each passing second, slowly materialized in the middle of the road. Any nearby ponies backed away with wide eyes. The light swirled over the dirt, glimmering in every color of the rainbow.

The orb flashed like lightning for a fraction of a second, and the onlookers shielded their eyes. The Doctor frowned, staring straight into its center.

When the light had faded, two ponies were left standing in its place, each rubbing their eyes. The ground around them was scorched and somewhat melted, and any bystanders had clustered to either side of the street, watching the newcomers warily.

One of the new arrivals, a white unicorn with what seemed to be a tabletlike machine on his flank, looked about excitedly. “I think we did it!” he said loudly, poking his companion on the shoulder. “It actually worked!”

“No way,” breathed the other, a red earth pony with a Cutie Mark in the shape of...a pony? “We’re in Equestria!”

“Maybe we’ll actually get to meet Rainbow Dash!” the unicorn said, his eyes shining.

The earth pony tried to clap his hooves, and promptly fell flat on his face. “Or even Twilight Sparkle!”

The Doctor groaned. “Oh, no. Not more of them.”

“Doctor,” Carrot Top said, chewing her sandwich slowly. “Who are they?”

“Nobody of particular importance,” the Doctor said, flicking his tail with a snort. “Nobody at all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go have a few words with them.”

Carrot stared as the Doctor hopped over the fence at the edge of the café and wandered over to the two newcomers. He seemed to look enthusiastic enough, greeting each of them with a firm hoofshake. It almost looked like they recognized him, shaking his hoof eagerly and then dancing around him in a circle. After a moment of discussion, the two nodded happily and headed off down the road out of town.

As the Doctor trotted back over to the café, Carrot gave him an odd look. "Exactly who was that? They seemed to know you."

The Doctor shook his head. "Oh, no. Not at all."

"What did you tell them?" Carrot raised her eyebrows.

The Doctor looked around innocently. "Oh, just that they might be interested in looking at this new spot in the Everfree Forest that just happens to have a one-way transdimensional portal in it." He leaned in conspiratorially, whispering. "Not that I told them about the second bit, mind you."

Carrot stared. "Who would go voluntarily to the Everfree Forest? And where were you trying to send them?"

"Well, back where they came from, really," the Doctor said, inspecting the back of his hoof. "Those ponies are more trouble than they're worth."

Carrot gave him a skeptical look. “I’ve really just given up on understanding what you do at this point,” she said, taking another bite of her sandwich.

The Doctor grinned and gleefully stuck his face into his bowl of carrot finger custard. “So have I, my dear Carrot,” he said proudly after swallowing, licking his lips. “It’s really much more fun that way.”

Carrot snorted. “Is there ever a quiet moment for you?” She held up a hoof as he opened his mouth. “No; don’t say anything. I mean, is this what your family’s life is really like? One thing after another, so much random chaos and craziness that you get lost in it all?”

The Doctor chuckled. “Pretty much.”

“How could you possibly put up with it?” Carrot asked. “Derpy told me some, but the more time I spend with you all, the more I find myself wondering if you’re all quite sane.”

The Doctor winked at her. “Ah, Carrot. Sanity is overrated, anyway. Besides! Who would want things to get boring? Life can be much more entertaining.”

Carrot threw up her hooves. “I swear, I’ll never understand you Whooves. Crazy bunch, the whole lot of you—”

The skies went black. Shadows stretched across the town, and the ground rumbled beneath it. From above came a crack of thunder.

It was a few moments later that the screams began.

Carrot Top popped her head out into the street to see what was going on. Her eyes were wide. “What the hay is going on—”

She looked up. “Oh.”

Floating above Ponyville, covering the ground in darkness, was a huge assembly of what looked to be giant apartment buildings. The ships—if indeed they were ships—were colored a gritty kind of yellow-grey that twisted the eye with its sheer tastelessness. They filled the atmosphere, stretching across the horizon.

There was a horribly heavy silence, and then a horribly heavy voice.

“THIS PLANET HAS BEEN DESIGNATED FOR DEMOLITION. ALL ELIGIBLE OR ABLE LIFE IS ADVISED TO FILL OUT THE PROPER EVACUATION FORMS. THANK YOU, AND HAVE A NICE DAY.”

The screams resumed in short order.

Carrot Top paled and looked at the Doctor. “What’s going on? What do we do?”

The Doctor’s eyes narrowed. “I know these aliens. And they should know better than to come here, of all places.”

“So you can stop them?”

The Doctor turned to look at her, and for a moment, something old and dangerous flashed across his eyes.

“We’ll find out.”

Carrot stood back, her mouth slightly agape. as the Doctor jumped on top of the small café table and whipper out that cylindrical object again. “Hold this, please,” he mumbled around it.

She took it from him. “This is your sonic whatsit thingy?”

“Sonic Screwdriver,” the Doctor said, nodding to himself. He poked it a few times. “Okay, then—here, here, and here—excellent!” He cleared his throat a few times.

When he next opened his mouth, his voice echoed like a crack of thunder, carrying far up into the atmosphere.

“HELLO! IS THIS THING ON?”

Carrot covered her ears. “I think it is!” she shouted.

The Doctor nodded. “GOOD!” He looked back up at the hovering ships.

“YOU THERE!” he shouted, taking a deep breath. “I’m invoking Section 4-B of the Second Shadow Proclamation to order a representative member of the Sontogon Confederation to descend and deal!”

“Descend and deal?” Carrot murmured.

“It’s one of their idioms,” the Doctor said quietly, and turned back to the screwdriver. “COME ON, NOW! WE’RE ALL WAITING!”

With a hiss, a single pillar of metal began to push outward from one of the ships, lowering until it loomed far over the town of Ponyville. A smaller column descended from there, reaching down to just over the road. As it ceased movement, a wisp of steam billowed from the sides, and a tall, shadowed figure stepped out into the street.

The figure was large and rather unpleasant-looking. Its bulbous body was only barely hidden by a brown, wraparound cloak, and two jagged objects—some kind of metal—hung across its back.

It took a step toward the café. “You invoke the Second Shadow Proclamation?” it asked in a gravelly voice. Any nearby ponies scattered, fleeing for their houses.

The Doctor nodded. “That would be me.”

“You are aware this planet’s subspace has been deemed an obstacle to the expansion of the Great Confederation?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Yes, but I’d like to file a complaint form.”

“It is already too late to file such a form. The appropriate times—”

“Humor me,” the Doctor said. His voice was flat, all humor gone.

“What are you doing?” Carrot Top whispered, spitting the sonic screwdriver out onto the table. “Do you even know—”

The Doctor held up a hoof. “I might be saving this planet,” he said, giving Carrot a sideways glance. His face softened for a moment. “Trust me.”

The alien figure approached the Doctor, holding out a shimmering piece of paper. “Here is the form,” it said, its face as still as a rock. “Please sign in triplicate.”

“Mmhm,” the Doctor grunted. He traced his hoof over the page, biting his lip as the words shimmered and appeared. Electronic digits danced across its surface. “And...done!”

The figure accepted the form and then froze.

“...You have signed this form under the name ‘The Doctor’. Is this correct?”

The Doctor glanced at his hoof. “Well, yes. That’s what most people know me as.”

“Do you plan to stand in the way of the Confederation’s power?”

The Doctor gritted his teeth, and he trotted over until he was face-to-face with the alien creature. “Listen up, because I’m going to tell you exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to sit here and count to ten, and if you lot aren’t gone by then, I’ll do to you exactly what I did to the Maneforians. You seemed to recognize my name—maybe you recognize theirs?”

The figure made no move.

The Doctor nodded. “Fancy that—he does! Now, I’m going to turn around, and when I turn back, I want you and your big, ugly ships out of my site. Because this is Equestria, and it is under. My. Protection.”

He paused. “Is that clear?”

The alien failed to answer. It stood there for a moment with a shadow covering its face, and its cloak whispering quietly in the wind. The Doctor narrowed his eyes.

“Is that clear?”

The figure turned away, its hands shaking slightly. The electronic pad vanished into one of the folds of its cloak, and it moved in careful, controlled motions toward the metal column. With total silence reigning throughout the square, the alien stepped into the pillar. A door hissed shut behind it, and the structure slowly moved upward until it had reconnected with the original ship.

The Doctor stood there, watching with a steady stare, as the ships hung in the sky for a few moments more.

Within seconds, vanishing one by one, they had disappeared from the atmosphere.

Ponies slowly began to emerge from their houses, resuming their daily activities. The waiter, who had been hiding in a broom closet, rushed out and cleared the table of Carrot and the Doctor’s empty plates.

“Hey! I didn’t finish that!” the Doctor shouted.

Carrot blinked a few times. “That...just happened.”

The Doctor tilted his head. “Yes. Are you feeling alright, Carrot Top?”

Carrot put her hooves on her head. “Aliens just threatened to destroy the planet...and then you showed up, said a few words, and they ran away.” She shook her head. “And nopony’s even saying anything about it?”

The Doctor shrugged. “It happens. People—ponies, sorry—get so wrapped up in their own lives that even something as big as an alien incursion gets written off as completely irrelevant.

“Although,” he said, looking around for a bit. “Having everypony get over this in such a short time is actually rather unexpected. A nice change, though.”

Carrot hiccuped, and then giggled a bit. “Doctor...”

“Yes?”

Carrot closed her eyes. “Who are you, really?”

The Doctor said nothing.

“You said your name to those aliens—the ‘Sontagans’ or whatever, and they ran off immediately,” Carrot said. She pounded her hoof on the table. “A name alone doesn’t—shouldn’t—do that.”

She ran a hoof through her mane. “How old are you, Doctor? Just how long have you been doing this?”

The Doctor sighed, and slowly smiled. “Well, Carrot, it’s interesting you might ask, because—” He paused. “Just a moment. Who’s that pony over there?”

Carrot Top turned around in her seat. A grey earth pony, wearing a top hat and a bowtie, was glancing around the market square with an odd look on his face. He seemed to be halfway between smiling and frowning. He also had the mark of an hourglass on his flank.

Carrot grunted thoughtfully. “Can’t say I’ve seen him before. He’s got the same Cutie Mark as you, which is interesting, but—”

“Pardon me for a moment,” the Doctor said hurriedly, bumping against the table in his hurry to get up. He trotted out of the café and toward the strange pony. Carrot watched in some confusion as the Doctor waved to the strange pony. The other stallion galloped over, and the two exchanged some words, grinning like mad the entire time.

After a few moments, the Doctor’s grin faded, becoming more of a sad smile. Carrot watched with some concern as he nodded to the other pony before turning away and slowly trotting back to the café.

“Who was that?” Carrot asked.

The Doctor chuckled softly. “Just a friend, my dear Carrot Top. Fancy meeting him here, but he’s always a good one to talk with.”

“But you said you didn’t know him,” Carrot said, frowning.

“And I didn’t.”

Carrot blinked, pointing at the Doctor with a hoof. “You’re not making any sense.”

The Doctor grinned again, stretching it ear to ear. “I don’t need to make sense—I’m the Doctor.”

Carrot groaned. “I give up.”

The Doctor laughed quietly before freezing. “I just remembered why I came into town.”

Carrot Top quirked an eyebrow. “Oh? What for?”

The Doctor shook his head rapidly. “I need to pick Dinky up from school!” Bumping into the waiter and a few other patrons on the way, the Doctor dashed out of the café. Carrot watched with wide eyes as he rounded a corner, disappearing behind a building.

The waiter dropped a piece of paper on the table. “Here’s the check, ma’am. Wasn’t your friend going to help pay?”

Carrot Top twitched.

Picnicking Under the Sun

The bell rang.

“Don’t forget your books!” Cheerilee called out as the students quickly rushed to the door. “And remember that addition worksheet for tomorrow!”

A collective groan went up around the room.

“Bye, Miss Cheerilee!” Sweetie Belle said, hopping happily toward the exit. Her sister, Rarity gave Cheerilee a friendly wave before turning to leave.

“Bye, Sweetie Belle!” Cheerilee said. “Have a great day, everypony!” She looked out over the rest of the class with a smile, only pausing when she noted a certain purple filly sitting alone in the corner.

“Well, Dinky, aren’t you going to go meet your parents?” Cheerilee asked, walking over.

Dinky looked up and tilted her head, placing a small notepad into her saddlebag. “Oh, yes, Miss Cheerilee. I just need a minute!” The next-to-last student, Silver Spoon, trotted out of the room with her head held high.

Cheerilee put a hoof to her mouth, stifling a giggle. “Okay, Dinky.”

A rumbling shook the room. Cheerilee blinked, looking around. “Dinky, what was that?”

“I dunno, Miss Cheerilee,” Dinky said innocently. There was another rumble, the ground shaking.

Cheerilee looked around, her eyes widening slightly. “Oh, goodness. It must be an earthquake. Quick—Dinky!” She put a hoof on Dinky’s side, pushing her up from her seat. “We have to leave, now.”

“One minute!” Dinky said, frowning and sticking out her tongue. After a second more of intense concentration, she managed to cram her overly-large lunchbox into the bag as well. She looked up, beaming. “Okay, done!”

Cheerilee nodded, looking around nervously. “Come on, then—”

The earth shook with a percussive force. Cheerilee stumbled and fell backwards into a desk. “Ouch!” As she rubbed her scalp, trying to clear the pain in her head, Cheerilee looked up and saw something out of the window. All thoughts of any earthquake were momentarily banished from her mind. “Dinky,” she said slowly. “What is that?”

“Incoming!”

With a crash, the window shattered into a thousand shards of glass. Something solid hit the floor with a thud. Cheerilee shielded her face, looking away and then peering back between her hooves.

“…Mrs. Whooves?”

Derpy Whooves, sitting on the floor amidst a circle of broken glass, raised a hoof to her mane and smiled goofily. “Reporting for pickup duty, Miss Cheerilee!”

Cheerilee blinked. “But—the window.”

“Hi, Mommy!” Dinky sang out, hopping over the glass and over to Derpy’s side. She frowned suddenly, eyeing Derpy with a look of disapproval. “Hm…didn’t Daddy tell you not to break any more windows?”

Derpy shrugged helplessly, still grinning. “Oops.”

Dinky shrugged, the smile returning to her face. “Okay! Good enough for me.”

Derpy giggled and ruffled Dinky’s mane. “Ready for the picnic, Muffin?”

Dinky’s eyes lit up. She picked up her saddlebag, swinging it over her back, and waved to Cheerilee. “Bye, Miss Cheerilee! See you tomorrow!”

Cheerilee blinked a few more times. “Erm…goodbye, Dinky.”

Another thud shook the ground, knocking a few chairs and desks onto their sides. Cheerilee’s mind snapped back, sending her thinking in a thousand directions at once. “Wait—what’s going on? Mrs. Whooves, what’s that shaking?

Derpy paused, shrugging. “Nothing important!” she said cheerily. With that, she picked up Derpy between her hooves, and flew back out the window.

With a tremendous crash, something enormous hit the ground just outside the classroom. Cheerilee paled, watching with wide eyes as it lifted up into the air, seeming to follow the now fading grey dot that was Derpy and Dinky. Her mind slowly registered what the thing was.

“That—that’s a foot,” Cheerilee stammered to herself. “How is that—I don’t.”

She stood there shaking and babbling for a few moments more before the door slammed open.

“Is Dinky still here?” Doctor Whooves said loudly, looking about the classroom. “I was supposed to pick her up today.” He looked up. “Oh, hello there, Cheerilee. Didn’t quite see you there. Do you know where Dinky’s gone?”

Cheerilee blinked. “Derpy picked her up a few minutes ago.”

The Doctor groaned, putting a hoof to his forehead. “Argh—right! Of course.” He sighed. “It does make sense—she was in the area.” He nodded to Cheerilee. “Have a nice day, Miss Cheerilee.”

Cheerilee put out a hoof as he ran out the door. “Wait!” She swallowed. “What—what was that thing?”

The Doctor peered back in. “Oh, that?” He shrugged. “Nothing special; just a Traal Bugblatter Beast. Nasty buggers, but quite friendly if given the right kind of food.” He looked about, trotting in place. “That all? Excellent. Goodbye!”

The door slammed shut.

Cheerilee fainted.

“And that was when the thing decided to burn down the Cakes’ bakery—why it was so obsessed, I’ll never know.”

Sparkler chuckled, setting the blanket down on the ground. “Heh. Sounds like something Mom would get up to.”

Carrot Top pulled her hair, leaning back on the grass. “I just saw her five minutes ago, leading something the size of Canterlot over toward Froggy Bottom Bog.” She shook her head, giving Sparkler a wry grin. “I’ve just about given up on trying to understand you ponies.”

Sparkler grinned back. “So did I. Believe me; it’s a lot easier.” She licked her lips, looking thoughtful. “Where’d I put the basket?”

“Under that tree, I thought,” Carrot said, pointing it out. She rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you’re losing your memory already.”

Sparkler snorted. “Believe me, I’ve got a while to go before I’m senile as you.”

Carrot chuckled. “Well, from what I’ve heard, it’s amazing your father isn’t. Senile, that is.”

Sparkler shrugged, trotting back over and taking out a large plate from the basket. She set it on the blanket, making sure not to tip it. “He could be, and we’d never know. Doctors aren’t supposed to diagnose themselves.”

“Someone say my name?”

Sparkler smiled. “Hello, Dad.”

The Doctor trotted up, wearing a goofy smile on his face. “And a good afternoon to you too, Sparkler!” He gave her a hug, and a wink to Carrot. “Carrot Top too, of course.”

Carrot nodded. “Doctor.”

The Doctor peered around. “Hrm...unless they’re hiding underneath that tree’s branches, or have found some form of invisibility device, I’d say that Derpy and Dinky still aren’t here.”

“They’re not,” Carrot said, smoothing out the blankets and removing a large pitcher from the basket. “They’re returning some giant alien thing somewhere.”

“Ah, of course,” the Doctor said. “I do hope that they manage to reactivate the cryo-process.” He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then brightened. “Aha! I’m not the last one to arrive this time! Fancy that.”

“Seems so,” Sparkler said. She frowned, shading her vision against the sunlight as she searched the horizon. A pale grey dot was steadily coming closer. “Huh. Take a look.”

The Doctor spun around, his eyes going wide with glee. “Derpy! And Dinky, too. Excellent! ”

“Daddy!” Dinky dropped from Derpy’s grip, tumbling through the air until she fell onto the Doctor’s back. “Oof!”

“Wonderful acrobatics, Dinky,” the Doctor said, patting her mane. “How was school?”

Dinky grinned happily, clapping her hooves. “It was awesome! Me ‘n Pipsqueak played Pirates and Alien Stoppers! And there was a real alien, too!”

“Was there, now?” The Doctor chuckled, trotting over to where Derpy had landed. “What kind of alien?”

Dinky looked thoughtful, still bouncing up and down on the Doctor’s back as he walked. “Um...it was kinda scaly. And it was really big and scary, too.”

“Really?”

Dinky nodded vigorously. “Uh-huh! But it turned out to be real small. Pipsqueak sat on it by accident.” She giggled.

“Sounds like an interesting day,” the Doctor said, waving as Derpy shook any dirt off of her mane. “Hello, Derpy. How’s your day been?”

“Great, Doctor!” Derpy said, trotting up and giving him a peck on the cheek. She smiled and winked. “Ready for the picnic? I’m hungry!”

“Ooh! Me too!” Dinky said, sliding off of the Doctor’s back.

Sparkler chuckled. “Don’t you have lunchtime near the end of the schoolday, Dinky?”

Dinky frowned, and then nodded quickly. “Uh-huh! But I’m still hungry...”

Carrot laughed. “Of course you are, just like your mom.” She held up the basket in her mouth, setting it down carefully on the blanket. “Not to worry, though—I made sandwiches!”

Dinky and Derpy’s eyes lit up as they exchanged looks “Carrot Sandwiches!” they exclaimed, and dashed forward to the basket...

...Until Carrot stepped in front of them, holding out a hoof and shaking her head. “Nuh-uh. I won’t have another of these picnics over in five seconds because you two couldn’t hold your hunger for that long.”

Derpy pouted. “Aw, Carrot Top—”

“No buts,” Carrot said, sniffing, and removed a covered platter from the basket, placing it on the blanket. “I spent all morning making these, so feast your eyes on this!” She uncovered the platter.

Derpy drooled as the sandwiches came into view. Wheat bread, juicy carrots, fresh lettuce, and a special vegetable spread—that only Carrot knew the recipe of—joined together in each sandwich to create a piece of art.

Derpy’s stomach growled loudly. “But I’m so hungry,” she moaned.

The Doctor snickered under his breath, and he put an arm around Derpy’s neck. “Come on then, Derpy. Meanie old Carrot Top isn’t going to let us eat that quickly, it seems, so let’s help her set up, hrm?”

Derpy tilted her head. “Okay.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Carrot said, rummaging through the basket. “I know I had that bag of haybiscuits in here somewhere...”

There came a soft humming in the air. The Doctor’s ears perked up, and he glanced around quickly. “Say, did you all hear that?”

“Hear what?” Carrot asked, looking up from the basket.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Dinky said, frowning.

The Doctor squinted, straining his ears. “Aha! There is is again!”

“Still nothing,” Carrot mumbled, back to looking for the haybiscuits.

Sparkler shook her head. “No, I heard it—a kind of humming noise?”

The Doctor smiled. “Excellent. Good work, Sparkler.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “I wonder what it is?”

“Can we eat the sandwiches first?” Derpy said, pouting.

The Doctor held up a hoof. “One moment, Derpy. I want to try something.” He turned to Sparkler. “Do you think you can hear where it’s coming from?”

Sparkler closed her eyes. “Um...it feels weird...” She massaged her temple with one hoof. “It seems to be getting louder, almost.”

The Doctor nodded. “I hear that, too. But what’s its origin?”

“I’m still hungry,” Dinky mumbled, staring longingly at the sandwiches.

Sparkler exhaled slowly. “I’m not sure if I’m right, but if I had to, I’d say it was coming from right...there!” Eyes still closed, she raised one hoof and jabbed it toward a nearby tree.

Dinky scowled. “But there’s nothing there!”

The Doctor shook his head. “Oh, no, Dinky. I don’t think she’s pointing at the tree...”

“...It’s right past it,” Sparkler murmured. “A little to the left...”

“...And a few seconds to the future,” the Doctor finished. He grinned. “Wait for it...”

Slowly, a patch of air to the side of the tree rippled, the atmosphere shimmering in place. A strange scent floated across the clearing and toward the Whooves family: the smell of oil and pollen, with a touch of ozone. Derpy watched with wide eyes as the rippling patch shimmered again, hints of images and pictures beginning to appear within.

“It’s a portal!” the Doctor cheered. He winked at Sparkler. “And it seems you’re a basic psychic sensitive—fancy that!”

Sparkler blinked. “Wait, what?”

“Oh, this is brilliant,” the Doctor said, getting up and peering at the portal. “I could sense it from my look into the Vortex, but that must mean that you’re developing the ability too!”

Sparkler started to get up. “Again, what?”

Carrot raised an eyebrow. “Wait, so does this mean that Sparkler is going to become some sort of fortuneteller?”

The Doctor paused in his thoughts, still circling around the portal. “Well, not really. Well—kind of. She’s becoming a temporally sensitive being, and was able to feel the disruption in the fabric of spacetime!” He turned around, grinning happily. “Amazing.”

Derpy leapt up and hugged Sparkler. “Oh, my big muffin is becoming so grown-up! Sensing time warps and everything!”

The Doctor made a face, squinting at the portal. “Now, the question is: where did you come from?” He brought out the Sonic Screwdriver from a pocket, and tapped it on his chin as he stared. “Fairly static images—seem to be of a futuristic period.”

“I think I saw some sort of spaceship,” Carrot said, sounding faintly unsteady.

The Doctor smiled, nodding. “Excellent! And I just saw a Equilurian-Equestrian ambassador pair, so it must be at least one thousand years from now.” He hummed thoughtfully. “The images seem to be flickering fairly quickly—it looks like the warp is unsteady in space, though not necessarily in time.” He pointed the Screwdriver at the warp and turned it on, combing back his mane as the device buzzed loudly. After a second, the Doctor snapped it back, peering back at the readings. “Yep! Seems to be a time period roughly one-point-five-six millenia from now.”

“I think I just saw a robot unicorn,” Dinky put in. “And a Diamond Dog!” She bounced up and down excitedly. “Can we go check it out?”

Carrot sighed. “Did they all forget about my sandwiches that quickly?” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

The Doctor held up a hoof. “One moment, Dinky; temporal shifts can be quite dangerous, you know.” He peered into the portal, scratching his chin. “Hm... What happens if I poke it...here?”

As the Doctor’s hoof made contact with the portal, the area flashed a bright white.

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “Oh, dear. That can’t be good.”

The space around the portal seemed to twist, swirling in strange and alien colors. The air crackled with energy, and the field seemed to warp—

As the dust cleared, any onlooker would have noticed a blanket, a basket, and a tray of sandwiches, all somewhat disheveled and tossed around none too gently. They would also have noted something else.

The field was empty.

”Ouch.”

“Sorry; that there’s my hoof.”

“Your hoof? I thought it was her horn?”

“Ooh...that’s awkward.”

“Silence!”

The Doctor looked around, blinking and dusting himself off. “Everyone alright?” He looked up. “Yes, hello. Can I help you?”

A pale blue unicorn, standing above him, glared down at the rest of them. Several other ponies, standing back with wide eyes, waited behind her. Her mane had been shaved off, and part of her face had been replaced with cybernetic implants. She wore an eyepatch across one eye, and the tip of her horn held a small, shining gem atop it. She growled as she opened her mouth to speak.

“Ye’re tresspassers, here, ponies,” she snarled. “State yer names ‘n how you got on this ship, and I might let ye live.”

“My Lady!” One of the other ponies, a pegasus stallion, ran up, pale. “Please, let the guards handle this! These ponies could be dangerous.”

She snorted. “I’ll not have them takin’ all the fun while I got the chance.” She grinned evilly at Derpy and Dinky, the latter of whom shrunk back and shivered.

The Doctor raised a hoof, standing up quickly. “Now, just hang on a moment, you lot. Where are we, and who might you be anyway?”

“Shut up, knave!” the stallion hollered. “Answer her questions—”

The unicorn held up a hoof. “Now hold on, gents. I do believe these scumbags deserve a little explanation, seein’ as they be precious guests ‘n all.”

The stallion froze. “My lady?”

The unicorn’s grin grew into a full, predatory smile. “My name be Madame Prancequestin,” she said, licking her lips. “And ye do be on the ship of the future ruler of the ZZ-Alpha sector of Equestrian airspace.”

“Impressive,” the Doctor said, yawning. “Derpy?”

Derpy frowned. “That sector doesn’t have a ruler! It doesn’t even have a governor!”

Prancequestin scowled. “It might not now, but it shall! The mines will be the center of a new economy, one that’ll rise up under my rule to become the capital of a new nation that—”

“Hold on, hold on,” the Doctor said, stroking his mane. “How exactly do you plan to accomplish that?”

Prancequestin paused. “What?”

The Doctor tilted his head. “How do you plan to accomplish that? Y’know.” He made a face, squinting and sticking out his tongue. “Making the capital of a new nation and all that fun stuff.”

Prancequestin blinked. “I—we—err…”

“Hey, Daddy!” Dinky called, jumping on top of a pile of crates marked with large X’s. A large amount of gold-tinted, purple dust spilled out of the side of several of them. “What’s this stuff?”

“Hm,” the Doctor said, running a hoof down his chin. “If I’m not mistaken, then that’s grade triple-A Stardust. Imperial transport only…” He peered around at the surrounding ponies. “And you lot are anything but Imperials, so…aha! That’s it?”

Derpy pouted. “Aw, you figured it out before me!”

“Fair is fair, my dear Derpy,” the Doctor said with a wink. He raised a hoof, standing on his hind legs. “You lot are nothing more than a bunch of pirates! Fancy that—’rulers of a new nation.’ I’ll bet you just robbed this off of the last Imperial cruiser to swing on through, hrm?”

He froze in midstep and tumbled to the ground. “Ouch!”

Sparkler groaned. “He really needs to stop doing that. He’s not Lyra.”

“Silly Doctor!” Derpy scolded, shaking her hoof at him. “You’re not bipedal.”

The Doctor chuckled awkwardly, picking himself up from the floor. “Ah, yes. Right. Of course.”

Prancequestin blinked a few more times, and then narrowed her eyes, growling. “Ye be offerin’ a grave insult to me ‘n my crew,” she warned.

The Doctor looked up at her, still dusting himself off. “What? You mean calling you pirates? I love pirates—met much worse in my travels.” He shrugged. “I do love a good sea shanty, or at least a good galaxy limerick.”

Prancequestin turned a bright red.

“Enough!” The Pegasus stallion raised a hoof, scowling at the Doctor. “You’ve insulted our cap’n one too many times!”

“Ye’ve pushed my patience too much, scalawags,” Prancequestin growled. “You stowaway on me ship, and then ye offer no more ‘n insult and foolery.” She smashed the floor with one hoof, the sound echoing through the metallic room. “Take ‘em down ‘n throw ‘em in the brig.”

She turned around, and then paused.

“I’ll find out how they got on this ship yet, but don’t be too fragile with ‘em.”

The chrome-plated doors hissed to a shut behind her as panels on the back of each pirate screamed to life, unfolding and revealing a blaster weapon attached to each pony’s torso.

The Doctor blinked. “Well, that got ugly rather quickly.”

“You think?” Sparkler shook her head. “I swear, it’s just one antagonist after another with you.”

Carrot Top took a deep breath. “I don’t know about you, but maybe we should do something about the ponies that are going to shoot us?”

The first blaster shot blazed through the air, hitting the floor directly in front of Carrot’s hooves, and scorching it to a blackened crisp. She trembled.

“All right then, quickly now!” the Doctor exclaimed as more laser bullets filled the air. He whipped out his Sonic Screwdriver from his vest, holding it in his mouth as he pointed it at a closed door off to the side. With a buzzing noise and a soft click, the door slid open. “Nothing to see here!”

“They’re—ack—such horrible shots,” Sparkler complained, dodging a stray laser. “You’d think that by the hundredth squad of space pirates, they would’ve learned to take proper shooting lessons.”

“But the good guys can’t get hit!” Dinky said, bouncing happily toward the doorway.

“Come on, Muffin,” Derpy said, picking her up and flying toward the doorway. “No reason to risk it.”

“They’re getting away!” one of the pirates shouted. The rate of fire redoubled.

“They’ll just end up deeper in the ship!” another replied. “We’ve got ‘em cornered.”

The Doctor peered back over his shoulder at the shouting, and smirked.

“What’re you so happy about?” Carrot asked, huffing and heaving as she ran alongside him down the corridor.  “And why aren’t you panicking? It’s like a maze in here!”

“Well, my dear Carrot, I’m glad you asked.” The Doctor grinned, looking over to Sparkler. “Tell me, Sparkler, can you feelanything, hm?”

Sparkler blinked, and then closed her eyes. “No… Wait! There’s something nearby.”

“Take your time; take your time.” The Doctor turned back to Carrot, still grinning like a maniac. “And why aren’t I panicking? It’s simple.”

They turned a corner, angry shouts still filling the hallway behind them. The Doctor whirled around with his Screwdriver. A harsh buzzing sounded as a door hissed shut further back down the hall. The angered shouts quickly became confused.

The Doctor shook his mane, and then beamed at Carrot. “Because running is so much fun!”

“There!” Sparkler said, her eyes shooting open. She pointed forward. “Right around that turn!”

“So left?” Dinky offered.

Sparkler nodded. “Right.”

Dinky frowned. “Oh… So right, then?”

“No, lef—.” Sparkler scowled at Dinky. “We are not doing this now.”

“Aw…”

Derpy was the first to round the corner, and paused to hover for a moment. “She’s right! It’s right here!”

“What is?” Carrot asked.

The Doctor laughed out loud as he turned the corner. “Oh, good job, Sparkler!”

“What?” Carrot asked again, coughing. She rounded the corner, bumping into the Doctor. “Oh. That.”

A familiar warp in spacetime stood before them, rippling in the darkened depths of the ship. Its edges crackled with unseen energy, and a low hum filled the area.

The Doctor walked forward slowly. “Well, then. Here’s our ticket out of here.” He frowned, rubbing his chin. “Odd, though; I can’t make out what’s on the other side. All fogged up.”

“Maybe it’s one of those time warps that you can only see through if you’re coming from the past?” Derpy suggested.

The Doctor looked thoughtful. “Well, that’s oddly specific. Hm…”

Carrot quirked an eyebrow. “So? Are we going through or what?”

The Doctor shrugged. “It’s our only ticket out of here, and I’m feeling adventurous today. So, in the words of one of my previous incarnations…”

“Oh, no,” Sparkler muttered.

The Doctor’s eyes glittered as he leapt through the portal.

“Allons-y!”

Derpy shook her head, whipping her mane out of her eyes. When she looked around, though, she froze. “Uh-oh.”

Carrot struggled to remove herself from beneath Sparkler and Dinky. “Eurgh… What does “uh-oh” mean?”

“Oh, my,” the Doctor said, looking up at the sky. “Well, this is rather unexpected.”

“What?” Dinky asked, and hopped off of Carrot’s back, though not without first bouncing off of her head. Carrot hit the ground, groaning.

“You’ll see, Dinky.” The Doctor chuckled, and he pointed. “See that little spot of green in the sky?”

“I can hardly see anything with all this fog,” Sparkler muttered, still struggling to become untangled from Carrot Top.

Derpy wilted. “I guess it wasn’t a foggy future-past time warp, after all.”

Carrot shoved Sparkler off of her with a loud grunt and stood up, dusting herself off. She squinted. “You think?”

“Ugh.” Sparkler exhaled slowly, gritting her teeth. She looked around. “Where are we, anyway?”

“Or when are we?” Dinky offered, still bouncing in place.

“An excellent question, Dinky!” the Doctor said. He peered into the distance. “Wait just a moment, and you’ll find out…”

“Well, if we’re not home, then I can hardly see how it matters,” Carrot said, swallowing. “As long as we’re not being shot at, though…” She trailed off, eyes widening. “Ah.”

“Ah, indeed,” the Doctor said smugly.

Derpy clapped her hooves. “Pretty! I always love this view!”

The fog slowly rolled across the ground, leaving clear air in its wake. The first rays of golden sunlight slid through the haze, cutting into the surroundings and illuminating the area. Carrot’s jaw dropped.

A lush and tropical valley, dotted with exotic and colorful plants, stood around them. Tall mountains towered high into the sky on either side of the valley. In the distance, a murky lake rippled, its far end the boundary to a brilliant green rainforest.

Giant creatures resembling insects buzzed in the air above them, and huge, waving ferns whistled in a warm, muggy breeze. There was a noticeable scent of tar in the air.

Somewhere in the distance, something roared, striking through the air like lightning.

“Welcome,” the Doctor said, his eyes glittering, “to the Paleo-Pony period.”

Carrot rubbed her eyes. “No—no way!” She blinked several times in succession, and then shook her head. The prehistoric valley was still there.

Sparkler groaned, scowling. “I’ve always hated this time. Seems we always end up almost getting eaten here.”

“Don’t be such a stick-in-the-mud, Sparkler!” Derpy said, leaping forward hugging her. “There’s always more fun! More adventure! And more—”

“Muffins?” Dinky offered hopefully.

Derpy let go of Sparkler to ruffle Dinky’s mane fondly. “Maybe! We should go look for some dino-muffins!” She leaned in closer to whisper into Dinky’s here. “I’ve heard those are the biggest muffins ever!”

Dinky’s eyes became as wide as dinner plates. “Whooooa.”

“Now, now; that’s enough of that.” The Doctor held up a hoof, straightening his tie. “There’ll be more time for family sightseeing later; for now, we have to try and find that time warp again!”

Carrot struggled to keep her balance. “What—what makes you so sure that it’ll be here?”

“Because,” the Doctor said, grinning, “a time warp is a fracture; a cut in the Vortex itself. It tends to attach itself between a certain group of unrelated time periods, and then move between the two at random. In our case, the warp seems to have connected to our time, the Paleo-Pony era, and a pirate’s space vessel a few millennia into the future.” He whipped out his Screwdriver, pressing a button and eyeing the readings closely. “If I’m correct—and I’d like to think that I am—I should be able to change the ‘settings’ of the warp to take us back home.”

Carrot smiled slightly. “Really?”

“—Though we’ll have to go through it at least once beforehand so that the changes can take effect.”

Carrot frowned. “Ah. Of course.”

The Doctor looked around. “Some ponies might say that this isn’t the right time or place, but I say that there’s always a chance to practice.” He beamed. “So, Sparkler? Care to point us in the direction of that time warp?”

Sparkler screwed her eyes shut, a small bit of sweat beading on her forehead from the humidity. She bit her lip. “Um... I’m not really sure if I’m doing this right.”

“Oh, you are,” the Doctor said. He winked at Derpy. “Just keep doing whatever it is what you’re doing.”

“Okay,” Sparkler mumbled back. Her brow furrowed, and she opened her eyes. “It feels like there’s some kind of dull...throbbing, somewhere in the distance. It’s kind of muted compared to how it was on the spaceship. That was just so...”

“Nearby?” the Doctor suggested.

Sparkler nodded.

“Well, take your time,” the Doctor said. He glanced at a watch on his forehoof. “The warp’s certainly not going anywhere.”

Sparkler gave a strained smile, and shut her eyes again. She was quiet for a moment.

“Are you sure this will work?” Carrot whispered to Derpy, sidling up.

Derpy smiled happily. “I know she can do it. I trust her, and I trust the Doctor. Everything will turn out fine.”

Carrot sighed. “Sometimes, I wish I had your optimism.”

Sparkler bit the inside of her cheek. “Mm... It’s...that way!” Her eyes snapped open once more, and she gestured toward a particular mountain, rising high above the valley.

Dinky shrank to the ground. “Aw, we have to climb all the way up there?”

“I don’t think so,” Sparkler said. She shook her head. “It feels lower to the ground, somehow.”

“Excellent observation, my dear,” the Doctor said, and slung a hoof around her neck.

“How is she doing this, anyway?” Carrot asked. Her voice wavered slightly.

“Well,” the Doctor said, and took a deep breath.

“Oh, no,” Sparkler muttered.

“The reason that I myself am able to sense this kind of chrono-temporal event is because I’m a Time Lord, from the planet Gallifrey. I’ve looked into the Time Vortex, like any other Gallifreyan child, and it imprinted on me. For Sparkler here, she’s spent much of her life since foalhood in the TARDIS, and, as such, either in the Vortex or in alien time periods. So it’s really no surprise that she’s grown a similar sensitivity to this kind of thing. What remains to be seen is how far this temporal-psychic ability will go, and whether Dinky might acquire it as well.”

The Doctor took a breath and then smiled pleasantly. “Does that answer your question?”

Carrot Top blinked. “...I think?”

“Excellent!” The Doctor clapped his hooves, and struck a pose. “Then let’s all get to that mountain, and through that portal! Come on now, trot ahead everypony!”

With that, he set off, trotting past a group of tall, clustered reeds and into a Jurassic wonderland.

The Doctor paused, peering back over his shoulder. “What; aren’t you lot coming? Come along!”

Derpy raised a hoof and took to the sky. “Come on everypony! To the mountain!”

Sparkler sighed, grinning. “Alright then. Guess I’m leading the way?”

“WAIT!”

The Doctor whirled around in the blink of an eye. “Dinky! What’s the matter?”

Dinky danced back and forth, sweating nervously. She was holding two hooves over her hind legs.

“I gotta go potty.”

“Is it—gah.” Carrot Top groaned, rolling her eyes. “Is it always walking with you people?”

“Not always,” Derpy said, hovering along beside her. She put a hoof to her chin. “Hrm. Actually, it’s more often running!”

“Fantastic.” Carrot blew a strand of her mane out of her face, plodding along at the rear of the group.

“So can we see a dino-muffin?” Dinky asked, bouncing up the path. “Can we, can we, can we?”

“Probably not this time, Dinky,” the Doctor said, chuckling. He peered up the side of the mountain, squinting. “Oh, look! We’ll have to pass by that watering hole up there.”

Carrot narrowed her eyes. “What’s got you so excited? That never means anything good.”

“Oh, don’t be so down on everything, Carrot Top!” The Doctor stopped walking, slinging a hoof around Carrot’s neck. “Picture it: a whole, prehistoric watering hole, filled with...”

Carrot raised an eyebrow. “...Yes?”

“Stuff.”

Carrot blinked. “Stuff.”

The Doctor nodded happily.

“What kind of stuff? If I might ask, of course.” Carrot gave the Doctor a skeptical look, frowning slightly.

“Oh, big, growly, scaly stuff, I’m sure,” the Doctor said, and resumed walking. “Fun stuff!”

“Yeah.” Carrot bit her lip. “Sounds like a real walk in the park.”

The group rounded the crest of a small hill, and stopped just before the edge of the lake. The Doctor raised a hoof to his forehead, shading his vision from the sun. He narrowed his eyes, scanning the edges of the water. “Aha! Now, that is a real beauty.”

Sparkler followed his line of sight until she realized what he had seen. “Oh, Celestia. Do we have to do this?”

Carrot whimpered. “Please don’t make it eat us.”

Dinky clapped her hooves. “Can I have this one as a pet instead?” Derpy shook her head.

“That, everypony,” the Doctor said, slightly breathless. “Is an excellent specimen of the prehistoric Ponyasaurus Rex.”

Not far off, by the side of the watering hole, a great beast of a creature bent over the lake, drinking thirstily. Any other animals that may have lurked there gave it a wide berth. In fact, two scaly necks stretched far up into the canopies of trees on the other side of the water, but were only just barely visible. A few, much smaller reptiles chittered excitedly as they ran about the beach.

The Ponyasaurus Rex let out a low grunt, shaking the ruff on the back of its head as it slowly raised itself back up, letting any droplets of moisture fall to the ground. It towered far above the dirt below, and it almost made the ground shake with each step that it took.

It also paid no attention to the Whooves family whatsoever.

“Hrm,” the Doctor said. “I wonder if this is Ponyasaurus Rex Alpha, or Beta.”

Carrot took a step back, her eyes wide. “What’s the difference?”

“Well, Alpha are quite gentle, while Beta are notoriously violent.” The Doctor hummed to himself for a moment. “Or it could be the other way around...and how do you tell them apart, again?”

“This could go very poorly.” Sparkler gulped.

“Hi!”

Carrot Top’s pupils dilated. “Oh, dear.”

Derpy waved happily to the oblivious dinosaur, hovering by its head. “My name’s Derpy! What’s yours?”

The Doctor sighed, smiling weakly. “Well, she does have a penchant for making friends.”

Sparkler gaped. “Tell me she’s not—”

The Ponyasaurus raised its massive head, grunting. It peered around for a few moments before finally focusing its vision on Derpy.

“So, have you seen a funny-looking portal, Mr. Dinosaur?” Derpy hopped onto the Ponyasaurus’s snout, and trotted down toward its eyes. “Huh? We’re trying to do timey-wimey stuff, but we can’t without it.”

She frowned, peering into its pupil. “Ooh, you’re really big, Mr. Dinosaur. Can we be friends?”

“Something tells me now’s the time to get ready to start running,” Sparkler muttered out of the corner of her mouth.

The dinosaur tilted its head, leaving Derpy to flutter her wings in order to stay atop it.

“Come on, silly! It’ll be fun! You can go adventuring with us, and meet cool aliens, and—” Derpy gasped. “Oh! Do you know where any Jurassic Muffins are? The Doctor said that there were some here, and—”

“How has she survived this long?” Carrot eyed Derpy disbelievingly. “Given the stuff you all usually get to...”

“You’d be surprised,” the Doctor said, chuckling. He straightened his tie. “Well. I do believe it is nearly time for an expeditious retreat. Please, everypony, form an orderly line to my right—no, Dinky, my other right—so that we may quickly and efficiently evacuate—”

The Ponyasaurus Rex chose this moment to fling its head to the skies, braying its anger and primal rage. It also had the side effect of knocking the annoying gnat of a pegasus off of its snout.

Derpy’s wings fluttered, and she came to a soft hover before the Ponyasaurus’s face. “Well, mister, that wasn’t very nice. You shouldn’t—”

She paused as the dinosaur slowly opened its mouth, the sunlight glinting off of its ivory-stained teeth. Giant globs of saliva dripped down through its gums, and it exhaled slowly, knocking Derpy back a few feet with its breath. It smelled of rotting, decaying meat.

Derpy looked up at the dinosaur with wide eyes.

“Uh-oh.”

“And, that would be our cue!” The Doctor leapt into action, dodging around a rock. “Everypony—run!.”

The Ponyasaurus let out a braying roar, and gave chase.

“Dangit,” Carrot panted, leaping over a fallen tree. “I thought we were finished with running!”

“Oh, we’re never finished with running!” the Doctor said, grinning childishly. “Why would you say a silly thing like that?”

“C’mon Daddy!” Dinky giggled as she bounced up and down on the Doctor’s back. “Faster! Faster!”

The Doctor narrowed his eyes. “That’s right, Dinky! The big ol’ meanie dinosaur is coming after us. And that means we must move with speed!” He redoubled his pace, momentarily leaving Sparkler and Carrot Top in the dust.

“Wheeeee!”

“How—does he—do it?” Carrot wheezed, fighting against her burning limbs.

Sparkler shook her head. “He’s been doing this kind of thing for centuries, if not millenia. Frankly, I’m surprised his legs haven’t grown to the size of tree trunks by this point.”

“Onwards!” A vaguely grey blur zoomed past the pair, speeding up to match pace with the Doctor.

Carrot dared a glance backward, her cheeks now red and puffing. “We’re going to have to catch up, aren’t we?”

Sparkler grimaced. “Yup.”

The Ponyasaurus let out an earth-shaking roar.

“Go!”

Carrot Top’s chest heaved as she gallopped, running faster than she ever had in her life. Her hooves ached, and felt ready to fall off, but a single glimpse of the monster over her shoulder convinced her that stopping was definitely not the right option.

“Over there!” Sparkler called ahead, gesturing to a small grove of tropical trees off to the side. “The time warp is somewhere in the middle of that grove!”

“Excellent work, Sparkler!” the Doctor hollered back.

Derpy squinted, still hovering above the group. “I can see it! It’s all blue-grey, and it’s right by that big palm tree!”

“Right behind you!” The Doctor sped on, raising a cloud of debris in his wake. Skidding to a stop by the portal’s location, he looked around as he waited for the rest to catch up.

Derpy held her hooves to her mouth. “Run, Carrot, run!”

“I’m trying!” Carrot scowled. “I said, I’m try—oof!”

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “Carrot Top!”

Carrot moaned groggily as she pushed herself up off of the rock that she had stumbled on. She shook the dust out of her eyes, slowly getting up onto her hooves. As she turned around, she paled.

“Oh.”

The Ponyasaurus, closer than ever, let out a huge roar, baring its huge teeth at its waiting prey.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“I’ve got you!”

A grey blur swept out of the sky, grabbing Carrot Top and snatching her out of danger.

Carrot swayed from side to side in the air. “Whoa—whoa—whoa!”

“I got you!” Derpy said, smiling. “That was a mean rock to trip you, huh?”

Carrot groaned, her cheeks turning a slight shade of green. “...I don’t feel so good.”

The earth shook.

Derpy’s eyes narrowed, locking onto the hovering portal. “Okay, Carrot Top! Hold on!”

Carrot swallowed. “What for?”

“Because we’re going back to the future!”

The Doctor chuckled as Derpy and Carrot dove through the time warp, the latter screaming the whole way. He looked down at Dinky and winked. “Shall we?”

Dinky cheered, waving her hooves about. “Geronimo!”

“Well, it seems like everypony made it out okay! Excellent!”

Sparkler frowned, picking herself up. “Made it out to where, though?”

There was a rather loud retching noise as Carrot Top emptied the contents of her stomach onto the ground.

The Doctor nearly jumped. “Careful, Carrot. That’s self-cleaning chromium floor plating, if I’m not mistaken.” He looked around and removed his sonic screwdriver, humming to himself as he fiddled with the settings. “Hm... I can probably get some of the auxiliary lights to come on from here. Remote access, of course.”

He held it up. “Aha! Here we go!”

One by one, the lights clicked on.

The Doctor’s eyes glittered. “Ooh...”

Sparkler shook her head. “You sound far too interested in this thing for it to be healthy.”

“That,” the Doctor said slowly, licking his lips, “is one downright beauty of an engine.” He slowly trotted up to the center of the room, looking up at the giant construct that towered up to the roof. He slowly whistled. “I have no idea where they got it from—undoubtedly someone wealthy; must have cost a fortune—but that’s the most advanced Ghettser Model VIG hyperdrive I’ve seen from this millenium!”

Derpy frowned. “So we’re still on the pirates’ ship?”

The Doctor nodded absentmindedly. “Yes; either the bridge or engine room, if I’m not mistaken.” He slowly ran a hoof down the side of the engine. “Generates sixteen hyperspace windows in the course of half a picosecond. The most efficient motor on this side of the Local Group, too! Barely needs half a milligram of antimatter; the whole thing.”

He coughed. “Impressive, of course, for a pony ship. Nothing compared to the TARDIS.”

Sparkler smirked. “Right.”

“So, is there any real point to this jumping about, or are we going to try and get back home?” Carrot asked, her face slowly gaining back a normal color. She breathed in and out slowly. “Seriously.”

The Doctor shrugged, removing a pair of glasses from a vest pocket and placing them on his nose. “Well. Given the fact that we know appear to have a few moments of breathing room, I can attempt to program in a new subroutine into the Sonic Screwdriver that will allow us to reroute the time warp and displace it from the current binary system, and so reconnect it back to our original time.”

Carrot Top blinked, jerking her head back slightly. “Well. Okay then.”

“It’s okay,” Derpy whispered to her, holding up one hoof in a mock stage-whisper. “I didn’t get all of it either.”

“I didn’t even get half of it,” Carrot muttered with a sigh.

The Doctor frowned to himself, narrowing his eyes as he fiddled with his screwdriver. “Hm... Just few minutes should do the trick, I think. It’s a tricky little bit of engineering.”

The metal-plated shades covering the windows of the room slid open with a pneumatic hiss. Sparkler spun around at the noise, eyes wide.

“Uh, Dad?”

“Yes, Sparkler?”

Sparkler lifted a hoof to point out of the windows. “We might not have that time.”

The Doctor frowned, sticking his tongue out and peering more closely at his work. “Whyever not?”

“Because we’ve got company.”

The Doctor snorted, tossing his mane back. “Oh, of course we’ve got company; there’s always company. Mean company, friendly company, alien company—”

He looked up and froze. “Oh. That kind of company.”

”This is a warning by the Imperial Police of Sector ZZ-Alpha. This ship has been identified as the smuggler vessel, illicitly operated and captained by one M. Z. Prancequestin. You have fifteen seconds to surrender.”

Carrot gave Derpy a wry look, biting her lip. “Think there’s any chance of that?”

Derpy shook her head and ran one hoof through her mane. “Nope. Pirates are very stubborn like that.”

“ ‘Go down with the ship,’ and all that, eh?” The Doctor shook the screwdriver a few times as he eyed the readings closely. “Confound it.”

“What?” Sparkler gave him an uneasy look, glancing about nervously. “Please tell me we’ll be able to get out of here.”

“Yes,” the Doctor murmured. “But if these police corps are as efficient and ruthless as I remember them to be—”

The ship shook violently, throwing everypony about in random directions.

“They’ve hit the gravity controllers! They must be going on the fritz!” the Doctor hollered.

A red light highlighted the room in a crimson glow, blinking in tune with the shrieking of a whirling siren.

“And that’d be the pirates’ call to arms!” The Doctor shook his head, looking about excitedly for an exit. “All right you lot; hold on tight! We need to find that time warp! Follow me!”

“Not again,” Carrot moaned, slowly picking herself up from the floor.

“C’mon, Carrot!” Derpy cheered as she zoomed along the floor. “Allons-y!”

“I’m guessing the portal’s moved to some other part of the ship again?” Sparkler asked as she galloped alongside the Doctor.

He nodded. “It shouldn’t be too hard to locate. In fact, if I’m right...” He licked his hoof, bending down, and held it up to the air. His mouth pulled down into a frown as he furrowed his brow, thinking quietly. “Mmhm... Aha! The computer room!”

“Which would be...?” Carrot quirked an eyebrow, staring expectantly at the Doctor.

The Doctor leapt up, jabbing toward a lone steel door with his hoof. “Thataway!”

Derpy clapped her hooves. “Hooray! More spaceship adventures!”

“Come on, now, no need to dally—”

”Your chance for surrender has expired. Prepare to be annihilated.”

Sparkler’s eyes widened, her face paling. “Look out!” Leaping into the air, she tackled the Doctor to the ground.

“Ack!” the Doctor sputtered. “Sparkler, what are you—“

There was a huge explosion.

Sparkler shielded her eyes, pushing the Doctor down. “Everypony, get down!”

The Doctor struggled under her grip, trying to turn his head. “What—what’s going on?”

He paused, and he licked his lips nervously as a drop of sweat gathered on his forehead. “Ah. Of course.”

Where the computer room had once been was now a mass of empty space. The tangles of electronics and computers had been crushed and sucked up into the vacuum, floating amidst a sea of debris. The walls and floor had been torn away, flying off into deep space. As the Doctor watched, the Imperial cruiser began to charge up another shot.

“I think we need to get out of here,” Derpy murmured, hanging in place for a moment.

Carrot Top’s mouth went dry. “I think I would agree.”

Dinky pointed into the remains of the computer room. “What’s that glittery thing?”

“Yes!” The Doctor beamed, picking up Dinky and swinging her around. “The time warp is still there!” He put a hoof to his chin as he set her down, thinking. “Hm… It looks like the forcefields are still holding up, so we don’t need to worry about dying in a vacuum until they get hit.”

Carrot made a strangled-sounding croak. “Dying in a vacuum?”

“In the meantime, it seems that there’s no direct way to get there, so we’ll have to find some other way to reach it…” The Doctor frowned, tapping his skull lightly. “But if it’s outside the ship…”

“Maybe the pirates have space suits?” Derpy shrugged, giving a wan smile.

The Doctor’s eyes widened, and he pumped his hoof with a satisfied grin. “Yes! Brilliant! We’ll find the airlock, borrow the space gear from the pirates, and use that to reach the portal!”

“Maybe once we’re on the other side, we’ll actually have a few minutes to try and calibrate it to get back home, too,” Sparkler muttered. “I’m getting tired of all this running.”

Another explosion shook the room, a blinding white light flashing across the windows.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” the Doctor asked, waving his hooves about in the air. “Let’s go!”

”All hands to the guns. Defend against the damned Imperials! Shoot to kill!

Sparkler looked about, glancing at the doors lining the hallway warily. “Sounds like they’re starting up their defenses for real.”

“Aha!” the Doctor said. “I’ve found it!”

Sparkler perked up, and she stared right at the door beside him. “You’re sure?”

The Doctor raised his hooves, snorting. “Of course I’m sure!” He pointed to a plaque beside the doorway, which was inscribed with steel-plated letters. “What other than an airlock would read ‘Airlock’ on the front?“

Sparkler blushed, and raised a hoof to cover her mouth. “Right. Heh. Never mind.”

Derpy stuck a hoof out and poked a button beside the door. It slid open, screeching quietly against the metallic floor.

Derpy took a step into the airlock, looking around warily. “Hello?” Derpy glanced about for a moment more. “Anypony?”

“Oh, thank goodness. We’re still safe.” Carrot Top dashed past Derpy and into the room, her head down as she charged in. She looked at the objects lining the walls hurriedly. “Wait…what’re these?”

“Those, Carrot Top, are our ticket out of here.” The Doctor grinned, trotting up behind her and putting a hoof against one of the suits.

“But they’re locked behind that glass,” Carrot said, frowning and tilting her head.

Something buzzed, and the glass swung open. The Doctor turned around back to Carrot, the Sonic Screwdriver still in his mouth. “You were saying? Nothing? Okay.

“These are pony-fitted spacesuits; quite nice, really. I do so love a good spacesuit.” He paused and put a hoof to his chin. “I’ll help Dinky get her suit on; Derpy, help Carrot Top with hers. I think you already know what to do with yours, Sparkler.”

Sparkler nodded.

The Doctor gritted his teeth around the screwdriver as he fussed over Dinky’s suit. “Now… Put your hoof through here—no, the other arm—and your head through there. Don’t forget your tail—oh, and your leg—”

“You.”

The Doctor looked up, and froze. “Oh, dear.”

Captain Prancequestin limped forward down the hallway, a singed blaster hanging off of her sides. “You’re still on my ship?” she hissed.

“Now, Captain.” The Doctor held up a hoof, smiling brightly and shifting his weight. “No need to be hasty here.”

“You sneak onto my ship, like the lousy stowaways ye are.” Prancequestin glared as she took another step, her cybernetic leg clinking against the floor. “Ye take me crew around on a merry chase about the ship, only to distract us for when you bring the damned Imperials to take us down.”

“Whoa!” The Doctor held up a hoof. “We certainly had nothing to do with the Imperial ship. You really shouldn’t—“

“I oughta—”

The Doctor shook his head. “I apologize, but we really must be going.”

The blaster on Prancequestin’s back whirred and buzzed to life, taking aim at the Doctor, right between the eyes. She grinned soullessly.

“No, ye’re not.”

The Doctor spoke quickly. “Derpy, the door.”

“Roger.”

The airlock’s doors slammed to a shut just as a green-tinged energy bolt slammed into them, steaming against the window. The screwdriver buzzed a final time, and the Doctor stowed it back in his pocket.

“That should keep the doors steady for a few minutes, at least.” He looked around at the others. Carrot Top’s breath was quickened and erratic, while Derpy was holding Dinky close. “Are we all ready to go?”

Sparkler put her helmet on over her suit, and held up a hoof as she smirked grimly. “Aye, captain.”

The Doctor let out a soft sigh before smiling weakly back and doing the same. “Then let’s go. Derpy?”

After making sure that everyone had their helmets on, Derpy pressed another button on the wall. A red light flashed above their heads as a siren began to whirr.

Beginning Atmospheric Evacuation.

The Doctor silently watched the far side of the room as it began to fold and turn, opening the airlock to the vacuum of space.

“Okay,” he said, his voice echoing in static over the headsets of the suits. “There should be an easily-accessible jetpack control pad near the helmets of your suits. We’re just going to try and get over to where the computer room was, so we can find the time warp and get out of here.”

Sparkler’s voice came back through the suit’s internal speakers fairly quickly. “Got it. Come on, Dinky.”

“Okay!”

The Doctor looked back to the emptied airlock as the group floated through the starry void, and closer to the debris that hid the portal. Squinting, he could just barely make out a dim shape pounding against the windows.

“It’s here!” Sparkler’s voice crackled over the suit’s radio. “The warp; I’ve found it!”

Derpy gave the Doctor another glance, and then turned back to the others. ”Then let’s go!”

The smugglers’ ship behind them gave one final shudder as the five ponies vanished into the Vortex.

Carrot Top hit the ground with a thud, dust rising around her like some kind of impact crater. She lay still for a moment.

“Well,” she said quietly. “We’re all still alive.”

“And that’s what counts!” the Doctor said, smiling again. He looked around. “Everypony here? Still got all our limbs, hm?”

“I have my hooves,” Dinky said, waving them about in the air. She paused and frowned, bringing them closer to inspect them. “I think.”

“Alright, everypony; let’s get those suits off.” Derpy popped the helmet off from her suit, laying it on the ground.

“Mommy, can I keep mine?” Dinky looked up at her as Derpy began removing her spacesuit. “I wanna wear it at the next Nightmare Night!”

“Of course, muffin.”

Dinky cheered, bouncing up and down. “Yay!”

“So we’re back here huh?” Sparkler looked around, eyeing the jurassic jungle with some distaste. “I guess it was too much to hope for that we’d just be plopped down back at home.”

“Perhaps, but this should give me the chance to fix up the Sonic to reprogram that darn time warp!” The Doctor gave Sparkler and Carrot Top a wink. “I just need a few minutes; in the meantime, we should probably avoid irritating any big, scary dinos. Don’t you agree?”

Carrot rolled over on the ground, the grass muffling her voice. “I’d be happy never to run again.”

“Oh, but where’s the fun in that?” The Doctor squinted at the screwdriver, fiddling with a few buttons and switches. “Good for the heart, I always say.”

Derpy smiled, trotting over. “And for saving your life!”

“Though you have those wings...” The Doctor peered down at Derpy’s sides, frowning. “Blasted contraptions. I still say that’s cheating, though they’ll never stop being marvelous.”

“Sparkler!” Dinky said, perking up. “Can we go see the big longnecks?”

Sparkler scoffed. “Dinky, didn’t Dad tell you to stay...put?” She looked to where Dinky was pointing, and her eyes widened.

Standing peacefully among the lush treetops stood a group of the largest creatures that any of them had ever seen. Their gigantic bodies towered above the plains on legs the size of tree trunks, and their necks seemed to reach up into the heavens, stretching far into the uppermost canopy of leaves and flowers.

Carrot Top stared, nearly speechless. “Wow.”

“Uh-huh!” Dinky trotted around Sparkler in a circle, swaying from side to side. “Can I go touch one? Huh? Huh? Can I say hi?”

“Dinky...”

“It should be alright,” the Doctor said, barely glancing aside from his work. “Those are harmless herbivores; you shouldn’t have a problem with them. You can also start looking for the new location of the Vortex in the meantime; it shouldn’t be too far.”

Sparkler licked her lips, raising an eyebrow. “Okay, so long as you’re sure.”

“Sparkler, I know exactly what I’m doing.” The Doctor put his tongue between his teeth, staring straight at the sonic screwdriver’s display. Suddenly, an electric-blue spark jumped from the display, a loud crackle sounding, and the Doctor jerked away. The fur around his hoof stood on end and smoked lightly as the screwdriver clattered to the ground.

Sparkler gave him a deadpan look. “Right.”

“Come on, Sparkler! Come on!”

Sparkler sighed and rolled her eyes at Dinky. “Okay, okay. No need to rush me.”

Dinky stuck out her tongue. “Well, you’re too slow!”

“Right...” Sparkler chuckled, and set out plodding after Dinky’s happy gallop.

Dinky froze a few hundred yards away from one of the biggest longnecks. “Whoa...” Her eyes were the size of dinner plates, and her legs nearly collapsed from under her. Her rump hit the ground softly as she stared up at the prehistoric monstrosities.

“Hm... I think that’s the mountain that the portal was on last time,” Sparkler murmured, glancing at a tall peak past the forest. “It shouldn’t have moved too far...”

“Hey, Sparkler!” Dinky pointed at a large mound of brownish-black mush, standing nearly as high as a grown pony. “What’s that thing?”

Sparkler, snapped out of her thoughts, eyed the mound and took a small sniff. The rank smell rang in her nostrils, and tears began to build in her eyes. “Yep. That’s what I thought.”

“What?”

Sparkler plugged her nostrils with one hoof, looking back around for any signs of the time warp. “Waste. Solid waste.”

Dinky tilted her head for a moment, scratching her mane. “Huh? What’s that?” She frowned. “Wait...if it’s waste...and it’s smelly, then.”

Her eyes shot wide open. “Ewwww! It’s poop!”

Sparkler sighed. “Brilliant deduction.”

“Ew, mister longneck!” Dinky frowned up at the huge creature, her face set in an adorable scowl. “You should find a potty to do that! It’s yucky to just go to the bathroom right on the floor!”

The dinosaur, seeming to hear her tinny voice, looked down for a moment, but then went right back to munching on the trees.

“I think I feel something from back over there,” Sparkler murmured, looking up at the mountain’s peak. “But it could just be something residual from the last appearance, like Dad told me.” She closed her eyes. “Wait—I think I’ve got it—”

“Hey, Sparkler! I’m a dinosaur!”

Sparkler slowly opened her eyes, sighing. “What now, Dinky?” she asked with a weak smile.

“Rawr!” Dinky pounced toward a small sapling, its leaves just barely poking out over Dinky’s head. “I’m gonna eat you, tree! With my long neck! Rawr!”

Sparkler put a hoof over her mouth to stifle her chuckle. “Right.” She closed her eyes, again, focusing.

“Whee! I’m a Ponyasaurus Rex! Run away, mister longneck!”

Sparkler’s eyes shot open. “That’s it!” She spun around, turning her back to the mountain and to her parents, and looking straight at the herd of longnecked dinosaurs.

Dinky paused in her predatory pose. She tilted her head. “What’s what, Sparkler?”

Sparkler grinned. “I’ve got it. The portal’s right over that way: straight through the forest!”

Dinky’s mouth formed a small “o.” “Ooh. Does that mean that we might see jungle dinos?”

“We might, Dinky.” Sparkler chuckled. “We might.” She raised a hoof. “Dad! Hey Dad!”

Off in the distance, the Doctor bent over, likely muttering something intelligible.

Sparkler sighed. “You’d think he could pay attention when it was actually kind of important.”

“Hey Sparkler?”

“Yeah Dinky?”

Dinky stuck her lip out, prodding her chin with one hoof. “What’s with all of the bright sparks coming out of the mountain over there?”

Sparkler whirled around. She paled as she looked up at the “mountain” in question. Red lights glowed at the top, and a trail of smoke was beginning to wind up into the sky.

She swallowed. “Oh, no.”

Dinky plodded up, poking Sparkler in the side. “What’s wrong, Sparkler?”

“That’s not a mountain, Dinky.” Sparkler swallowed. “That’s a volcano.”

Dinky’s eyes widened. “Ooh.” She paused. “Do you think we could—“

“No time to talk!” Sparkler grabbed Dinky by the hoof and tugged her along. “We’ve got to get going. Now.”

“Awww…”

“Dad! Mom! Carrot Top!”

Derpy looked up from her place hovering by the Doctor’s side and waved to Sparkler. “Hi, Sparkler!”

“Well, that was relatively quick,” the Doctor said, sticking his tongue out between his teeth as he glared down at the sonic Screwdriver. “Did Dinky get a chance to say hello to the Apatosaurus?”

Sparkler put a hoof to her forehead. “No—well, yes.” She shook her head. “But that’s not important. Look!.”

The Doctor frowned. “Look at what, Sparkler? Nothing to look at here.”

“The volcano! Behind you!”

The Doctor chuckled and turned around. “Oh, Sparkler. That’s just a…”

Sparkler nodded, her mouth in a thin line.

“My.” The Doctor blinked. “That certainly wasn’t there before.”

“I’ve got the location of the portal down.” Sparkler’s face was set in an expression of grim determination. “But that won’t matter if we don’t get out of here quickly, before that thing blows.”

The Doctor hummed to himself. “I still need a few minutes to finish the reprogramming, though.”

“It’ll be fine.” Derpy put a hoof on the Doctor’s shoulder, still hovering beside him. “You can finish up on the way.”

The Doctor frowned. “I suppose…”

“It’s already started!”

Sparkler’s eyes followed Carrot’s hoof, and she went white. “Oh, crud.”

That was when the earth started to shake.

Smoke billowed out of the peak of the volcano in much greater densities than before, and huge, flaming hunks of rock started to fling themselves out of the volcanic crater. One landed only a few hundred yards away from the group, and a small radius of wildfire quickly blazed into existence.

“Run!”

Derpy snapped Dinky up from the ground, carrying her in her hooves as she sped ahead of the group. Sparkler set off on a gallop, her vision focused on the forest ahead. The Doctor, still fiddling with the Screwdriver, followed along at a somewhat more moderate pace.

Carrot Top screamed her head off.

“Run for your lives!

Sparkler’s heart pounded in her chest as her hooves impacted with the ground, flying over the viridian grass. The air began to thicken with smoke, the atmosphere becoming warm and full of ash. She chanced a look over her shoulder and quickly redoubled her pace.

Behind her, a thick stream of lava was beginning to dribble out of the peak of the volcano.

“Everyone!” Sparkler struggled to make her voice heard over the pounding of blood in her eardrums. “The warp is straight ahead through the forest. Just follow me, and we should be okay!”

The Doctor attempted to give a hoofs-up. “Gotcha!” He stumbled, tripping over his own feet and sliding into the dirt. The lava was now approaching the bottom of the volcano.

Dinky stuck out her hooves, her face frozen in an expression of wide-eyed fear. “Daddy!”

“—Erk! I got you.” Carrot grunted as she pushed up against the Doctor with her shoulder, trying to help him up. “Now stand and run, you idiot!”

“Right behind you!” The Doctor panted as he picked up speed once more, galloping after Sparkler and Derpy.

“ ’Scuse me,” Derpy grunted, weaving through the heads of several distressed dinosaurs. The shaking earth beneath their feet did nothing to comfort them; instead, the ponies running below had to dodge between their stampeding feet.

Sparkler waved a hoof as they reached the edge of the forest. “Go! Go!”

Before she entered the brush, though, Carrot chanced a look back—and froze.

The lava had reached the edge of the plains. The dry, browned grasses had been set alight, the fires blazing down the lines of vegetation like a vengeful dragon.

“Just keep going!” Derpy warned. She sped off after Sparkler, continuing her aerial weave through vines, branches, and leaves larger than her whole body.

“It’s not too far!” Sparkler hollered back. “Just a bit farther!”

Carrot leapt over a low-lying root, nearly falling over her hooves as the edge of her mane caught on a branch. She ripped it free and kept right on running, the fires advancing steadily the whole time.

Around them, the agitated screeching and howling of the forest wildlife began to work itself up into a veritable cacophony. The fires had reached the edge of the forest, swallowing up the prehistoric flora with a burning hunger.

The trees were ablaze.

“Keep running!” Sparkler shouted, coughing as she struggled to make herself heard over the smoky air. Ash fell over their heads, dyeing the leaves a deadened grey. “It’s right past these trees!”

“I hope so!” Carrot hollered back.

“There!” Derpy pointed a hoof at a softly glowing shape partly hidden by a cluster of branches, ducking to avoid a flaming limb. As she passed through a final group of vines, the portal itself came back into view.

The Doctor held up a hoof, removing the Sonic Screwdriver from his mouth. “Wait! I’ve nearly got it!” He stared down at it, his hooves moving across it like a blur.

With a small click, the Screwdriver began to glow a dim purple. The Doctor held it up to the light. “Aha!”

Derpy swooped down. “It’s ready?”

The Doctor nodded. “Yep! All we have to do is have the first one of us through the portal be carrying it, and the programmed settings should—”

“Then what are we waiting for?”

The Doctor shrugged. “Well, I—wait! Ack!”

Derpy cheerfully grinned as she took hold of the Doctor, flew up, and tossed him toward the portal. “Up, up, and away!”

“Aaaaaaah!”

The time warp rippled slightly as the Doctor fell through the surface. The image in its center, previously showing an empty field of stars, shimmered and changed to an empty field of grasses and trees.

“You go next, Muffin,” Derpy murmured to Dinky. With that, she gently tossed her through after the Doctor.

Dinky spread out her hooves, giggling. “Whee!”

“You two ready?” Derpy asked, looking down at Sparkler and Carrot.

Carrot took one glance at the burning scenery, then back at Derpy. She exchanged glances with Sparkler. “What do you think?”

Derpy smiled. “Okay then!”

With that, the three of them disappeared through the time warp.

Carrot Top spun around in the air, and landed with her back on the ground. “We’re alive,” she said, giggling madly. “We’re back home. It feels so good!”

“Well, I’m glad somepony’s happy.” The Doctor smiled at Carrot as she rolled around in the grass.

Derpy raised a hoof to cover her snicker. “Yep!”

Dinky bounced up and down, babbling happily. “That was so much fun! Can we go on another adventure? Can we? Can we?”

Sparkler sighed, ruffling Dinky’s hair and disturbing a thin cloud of ash. Unfortunately, the ash went right into her lungs, and Sparkler coughed loudly for a few seconds as her chest heaved up and down.

Dinky looked up at her, a curious expression on her face. “Sparkler, are you okay?”

Sparkler coughed a final time and then wiped her mouth. “Sure.” She smiled weakly. “Just fine.”

“Your sister’s a little tired,” Derpy said, picking Dinky up. “I think we all are.”

Dinky wilted. “Aw... Does that mean no more adventures today?”

“Ha!” The Doctor pranced up, patting Dinky on the back. “Dinky, if there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years, it’s that there’s always more adventure to be had.” He gave her a wink. “But for today, I think you’ve had quite enough.”

Dinky pouted. “Fine.”

Carrot slowly sat up from her position on the ground and exhaled slowly. “Well,” she said, coughing slightly. “That was...interesting.”

“You think?” Sparkler rolled her eyes, smirking.

“Hey, you Whooves might do this kind of thing all the time, but I’m just a regular earth pony.” Carrot sighed, putting a hoof to her head. “Hay, I think I might be getting a headache from all that insanity.” She chuckled and shook her head. “That’s not saying that it wasn’t fun sometimes, but I think I’ll leave the running to you, Derpy.”

Derpy smiled. “Okay!”

“I’ll see you all later, then!” Carrot turned to go. “Don’t forget to buy some carrots at the market!”

“Bye, Carrot Top!” Derpy cheered, waving happily.

As Carrot trotted away, Dinky looked up at the Doctor. “Aw... Miss Carrot Top was nice. Can she come with us next time we do adventuring?”

The Doctor exchanged a look with Derpy and Sparkler, and then grinned. When he looked down at Dinky, something was glittering in his eyes. “We’ll see, Dinky. We’ll see.”

Epilogue: Dusty Old Photographs

“Last one upstairs is a rusty Dalek!”

Dinky galloped up the stairs with Sparkler right behind her. The stairs to the attic were old and creaky, and Dinky giggled as her hooves pounded on the wood. “Can’t catch me!”

“See if I don’t!” Sparkler called back. Dinky blew a raspberry back over her shoulder—

—and missed the last step, stumbling over her hooves and falling into the attic.

“Whoa!” Sparkler came trotting up behind her. Dinky groaned, her hooves and tail tangled up in a messy heap. “You okay there?”

Dinky sneezed as she got back to her hooves. “I, uh, think so.”

“No bruises?”

“Nope.”

“Cuts?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Lacerations or internal bleeding?”

Dinky stuck her tongue out at her sister. “Nope.”

Sparkler chuckled, reaching to dust Dinky off. “Let’s see what we’ve got up here, then.”

“Yeah!” Dinky brushed Sparkler’s hoof away and looked around the room with wide eyes.

The attic, like most other attics, was filled with dust and patches of darkness. Motes of light drifted across the room, alighting upon Dinky's nose and tickling her nostrils. She sneezed again, bits of dust flying everywhere.

"Don't tell me you've got a cold now," Sparkler said.

"N-no!" Dinky shot back, struggling not to sneeze again. Her eyes watered, and her mouth wobbled, but she managed to keep it down. "It's just dusty up here!"

 "It is pretty dingy up here," Sparkler said, taking a look around.

"Like a cave!" Dinky spotted something in a corner and trotted over to get a closer look. “And caves have secret treasures!”

“I don’t think that Blackmane hid his loot in our attic.”

“That’s just what he wants you to think!” Dinky grinned down at a pile of tattered-looking newspapers. Maybe one of them was secretly a treasure map!

“So we’re some kind of explorers, then?”

“Exactly!”

“Well, then,” Sparkler said. “So, great captain, what treasures do you think you'll find here?"

"We'll know them when we find them," Dinky said. Bored with the newspapers—they were all in black and white, and without enough pictures to be interesting—she decided to look elsewhere. She quickly found the perfect subject: a pile of boxes stacked up toward the ceiling. At the top was a large, wooden object cast in shadow by the dim lighting.

Hopping over, she looked up at the pile with her tongue in between her teeth. It would be a hard climb, but she knew that she could make it. After all, she and Pipsqueak had climbed worse mountains before.

"Well, what do you know?" Sparkler trotted up behind her as Dinky squatted down. "I think that's my old rocking-horse up there. Y'know, it still seems really ironic to me that we even have those."

Dinky had already tuned her out. There was just one thing on her mind: getting to the top of that tower, and finding whatever treasures that lay in wait at its peak. Wiggling her hips, she thrust out with her hooves and jumped—

Sparkler noticed only a second too late. "Wait—Dinky!"

Dinky landed on the first box with a thump, her hooves wobbling a bit on the bent cardboard surface. Thankfully, it only took her a second to regain her balance. “Come on, Sparkler!” she said, leaning up against another box behind her. "Let’s go hikin—whoa!”

The box slid backward a few inches and Dinky overbalanced, her hooves wiggling in the air in a doomed attempt to stay standing up. One moment, she was standing at the bottom of a tower, and the next it had all come crashing down around her, burying her in a heap of old newspapers and cardboard.

When Sparkler managed to dig her out, there was a big blush on Dinky's face. "Oops," Dinky said. "That wasn't supposed to happen."

Sparkler snorted. "No, it wasn't. Now come on—let's clean this up before Mom or Dad comes up here to check what that was."

"Hey—what's this?" Dinky said, blinking owlishly down at a book that had fallen into her lap. It was a thick, string-bound volume, its pages yellowed and crinkled with age. She flipped through a few pages: each one held a picture, most in black and white. More importantly, in the center of every picture stood a couple: a grey pegasus and an earth pony stallion with a hourglass design on his flank.

"Sparkler, look! A treasure!"

"A treasure?" Sparkler leaned in to take a closer look. "Huh. It’s an old photo album of Mom and Dad’s. I wonder how old this thing is?"

"About twenty years, give or take."

The two fillies whirled around. "Mom!" they blurted together. "We didn't hear you!"

Derpy chuckled, trotting up the stairs and into the attic. "Of course not, sillies. I can be quiet if I want to." A grin spread across her face, her eyes swirling a bit closer to normal as she trotted toward them. "So that's our old photo album, huh? Mind if I take a look?"

Dinky frowned, clutching it to her chest. "I dunno..." she said, mulling it over.

"Please?" Derpy asked. "I'll give you a muffin."

Dinky shrugged.

"Two muffins," Derpy said, smirking. "Final offer."

That did it. "Here you go!" Dinky cheerfully announced, thrusting the photo album into her mom's face. "I'll expect those muffins on my desk by tomorrow morning, please!"

Sparkler snorted, and Derpy glanced over at her with a helpless grin. "What can I say?" Derpy said. "My kids know what they want—after all, I seem to recall another filly who had no problems taking hostages in exchange for more muffins with breakfast."

Sparkler blushed.

"Now," Derpy said, taking a seat and setting the book on the floor, “let's see what we have here."

Dinky took a place by her side, with Sparkler right beside her. Dinky leaned over her mother's lap. "What's that one?" she asked, pointing at the first picture she saw.

"That's your father and I on the planet Anagonia—planet of eternal autumn, it’s called." Derpy giggled. "That was our first date."

"And this one?"

“That’s us outside the headquarters of the Shadow Proclamation.”

“What about this?” Dinky’s hoof landed on a colored picture of two ponies standing outside of a blue telephone box—the TARDIS. The mare had an uncertain smile on her face, and the stallion was beaming into the camera.

Derpy smiled. “That was taken soon after your father and I met, just after our first ‘adventure’.”

Dinky’s eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Really really.”

"What was it like?" Sparkler asked. "You've never really told us how you two met in the first place."

"Haven't I?" Derpy frowned, prodding her chin. “Are you sure you want to hear it? It’s not the happiest story.”

Dinky nodded eagerly. "Oh, yes, yes please!" Sparkler nodded too as she reached over to ruffle Dinky's mane. The filly pouted, but didn’t resist.

Derpy chuckled, leaning back and closing her eyes. "Well, then. I guess I have no choice. It all started on a warm summer afternoon in my hometown of Whinnypeg..."

Derpy and the Doctor will return in…

Can I Come With You

A story by Golden Vision

Pirates and Ponomicons

“Alright, class.  Who knows what the answer to number three is?”

Dinky raised a hoof, jumping up and down in her seat.  “Ooh!  Ooh!”

Cheerilee smiled.  “Okay, Dinky.  You may answer.”

“Is it thirty-five?”

Cheerilee nodded.  “Yes it is!  Twenty plus fifteen is thirty-five. Good job, Dinky!”  She paused.  “Has your father been teaching you extra math at home again?”

“Maybe…” Dinky admitted, blinking innocently.

Scootaloo, two seats over, stuck out her tongue.  “Ugh!  But it’s so boring, though!  What would you ever need math for, anyway?”

“Hey!  It’s good for all cool science-y stuff!” Dinky huffed. She crossed her hooves over her chest and sat back in her chair.  “Maybe you’d know that if you actually paid attention.”

“Well, and math is pretty good for money and business anyway.”

Apple Bloom turned to Diamond Tiara.  “Beg pardon?”

Diamond Tiara smirked.  “What, you’ve never heard of finance?  My daddy has a whole army of accountants working for his business up in Canterlot. Does your family have any accountants?”

“That’s quite enough, girls,” Cheerilee said.  She gave Dinky a strained smile.  “Thank you for that, Dinky.  Now, who’s ready for storytime?”

Every foal’s hoof went up.

Dinky’s eyes lit up.  “Ooh!  Can we read Pony Island again?”

“Or Horsey Plodder!” Pipsqueak said.

Sweetie Belle clapped her hooves.  “My Little Puppy!”

Cheerilee sighed.

“Yargh! I’m gonna get you, wench!”

“Neigh, cap’n! En garde!”

The sound of clashing wood filled the air as Captain Pipsqueak and First Mate Dinky battled for their lives in a duel of fates. Dinky let out a triumphant shout and leapt onto a boulder, the red cape around her neck fluttering in the wind. She swung the stick in her mouth around wildly.

“Ha! I have the high ground!”

Pipsqueak grinned. “Yeah, but I’m still gonna win! And I’ll take your loot, you savvy traitor!”

“Never!”

With a savage cry, Pipsqueak launched himself toward Dinky, the bandanna tied around his head waving in the wind. He galloped forward—and tripped on a stick, overbalancing and landing flat on his face. “Ouch!”

A shadow fell across Pipsqueak’s downed form and he looked up. Dinky stood over him, grinning victoriously, the end of her “sword” pointed right at his throat. “Surrender, knave!”

“No!” Pipsqueak cried, rolling around in the dirt. “Curse you, foul landlubber!”

Dinky giggled, dropping the stick. “Yay! I won!”

From afar, barely visible through the trees, Cheerilee waved to the pair, trying to keep a close eye on them. Behind her, Scootaloo happily slid down the slide, and Snips and Snails swung back and forth on the swing set. Dinky and Pipsqueak waved back.

Pipsqueak pouted as he got up, dusting himself off. “It wasn’t fair! That stick tripped me!” He shot an evil glare at the innocent-looking branch.

Dinky stuck out her tongue. “So? You should have been paying more attention. And that just means I’m still the better swordpony, so there!”

Pipsqueak jumped up and down. “Well, I’ll beat you at recess tomorrow, then!” he said. He turned away with a small sniff.

“Hm...” Dinky poked him on the side. “Tag! You’re it!”

Pipsqueak stumbled as she dashed off. “Whoa—hey, no fair!”

“Can’t catch me!” Dinky sand out, hopping over a mossy log.

“Wait up!”

The two dodged between bushes and trees as they rounded the clearing, laughing all the way. Suddenly, Dinky let out a small grunt and stumbled, falling face-first onto the ground.

“Aha! I gotcha!” Pipsqueak said, quickly tagging Dinky’s side. “Not so funny to be on the ground now, huh?”

Dinky grinned, pushing herself back up. “Okay. Now I’m it—rawr!”

But Pipsqueak didn’t move. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing at a small object by Dinky’s back hoof.

She looked down. “Ooh! I guess this is what I tripped over.”

“But what is it?” Pipsqueak repeated, squinting and peering down at it. “Some kind of weird black box thing?”

Dinky shrugged. “I dunno. Where d’you think it came from? That hole over there?” She pointed to it, a small pit in the ground by a nearby tree’s roots.

Pipsqueak blinked a few times. “Dunno. What do you think we should do with it?”

Dinky squinted and stuck out her tongue, eyeing the box in concentration. “Hm...”

A green light suddenly flashed through the clearing, and Dinky and Pipsqueak stepped back in alarm. A low hum began to echo around them, and colorful sigils faded into existence on the sides of the black box.

“What’s it doing?” Pipsqueak asked, paling rapidly.

The hum went silent for a moment.

A huge figure, tall as the lower branches on the trees, materialized over the box. It stood there menacingly, looking down at them. Its general shape, though pony-like, was far more reptilian. Its sleek black hide gleamed as its tail thrashed from side to side. A tall, silver-tinged crest stood straight up on its head.  Its red eyes pierced into the clearing below and a low growl came from its open mouth, which was filled with very sharp teeth.

The two foals looked at each other and jumped into the air. “RUN!”

In flash, they had disappeared from the clearing, vanishing behind a clump of bushes.

Pipsqueak peered out nervously at the creature from behind their hiding place, still clutching Dinky tightly. His teeth chattered. The thing wasn’t moving, but a steady thrum filled the clearing.

“What’s it doing now?” he whispered frantically to Dinky through clenched teeth.  She pushed him off and jumped away, crouching behind a tree.

She put a hoof to her mouth.  “Shush!  What if it hears you?”

Pipsqueak let out a high-pitched squeal and quickly withdrew back into the bushes, the leaves rustling slightly.

A moment passed by, during which neither foal dared to move.  After a while, though, Dinky popped out from behind the tree, narrowing her eyes.

“It’s not even doing anything,” she said.

Pipsqueak trembled.  “What if it’s storin’ up energy to do its super-evil alien beam?”

Dinky hummed thoughtfully.  “Maybe.”  She shrugged.  “Hm...”  And with that, she stepped out from behind the tree, flinching away slightly, but nevertheless clearly giving away her position to the creature. Pipsqueak squealed again, curling up in a ball behind the bushes.

Nothing happened.

“Did it laser beam you yet?” Pipsqueak asked quietly.

“Nope,” Dinky said. She tilted her head slightly.  “Hey!  Hey big dumb meanie!”

The creature made no response.

Dinky scowled.  “Hey!  I was talking to you!”  With that, she picked up a pebble and hurled at the beast with all her might.  But just before it made contact, the creature vanished.  Dinky’s jaw dropped.

Pipsqueak’s head popped up from behind the bushes.  “Whoa!  Where’d it go?”

Dinky blinked a few times.  “Um...”  She walked up to the box and poked at it a few times.

Pipsqueak dashed out into the clearing, right next to Dinky.  “That was so cool!” he cheered.  “It was right there, and you threw that pebble at it, and it ran away, and...yeah!”  He clapped his hooves excitedly.  “Woo!”

Dinky frowned and prodded at the box again.  “Huh.”  Her eyes crossed slightly.  “That was really weird...”

Suddenly, the box flickered a shimmering green again.  The two foals jumped back. Pipsqueak covered his face behind his hooves, but Dinky just looked up in curiosity at the beast before them.

Its chest seemed to rise slowly, moving up and down nearly hypnotically.  Its eyes glittered, and its black hide shone.  But something was off.

“Dinky,” Pipsqueak said, peering out from behind one hoof.  “Why doesn’t it have a shadow?”

Dinky’s eyes widened.  “Huh?  What do you mean?”

“Right there,” Pipsqueak said helpfully, pointing to the area by the thing’s “hooves.”  And it isn’t even touching that branch—it’s going right through it!”

Dinky stared.  “D’you think it’s some kind of weird hologram thingy?”

“Maybe,” Pipsqueak said, getting up and wandering over to Dinky’s side.  He poked at the creature, and gaped away when his hoof went right through its leg.

The creature didn’t open its mouth, but a low voice rang through the clearing.

“C’bthnk ch’ebumna fm’latgh gof’nn n'gha n'ghft.”

Pipsqueak swallowed.  “Wha—what did it say?”

Dinky shook her head.  “I think...something about kids?”

Pipsqueak stared.  “How would you know that?”

“Ai’hlirgh chtenff ah’athg.  Hafh'drn kadishtu nnn.”

Dinky scowled, prodding at the dirt with one hoof.  “How the heck am I supposed to do all that?  I don’t even know what half those words mean!”

“Lloig ooboshu phlegeth.  C’tharanak sgn'wahl, y'hah.”

Dinky narrowed her eyes.  “What d’you mean, you all wanna come here?  That’s silly—don’t you have somewhere else to go?”

Pipsqueak raised a hoof.  “Um, Dinky?”

“C’wgah'n lloig’ehye r’shugg.”

Dinky’s stared.  “Hey!  You can’t do that!  That’d just be mean!”

“What’s it—”

“Hlirgh gof'nn-nyth-shogg.  Throd t’stell'bsna n'gha!”

Dinky stuck out her tongue.  “Yeah, well you’re just a big meanie head!  So there!” She blew a raspberry at the creature, which stopped talking.  It stared down at her for a moment, and its form wavered as if blown by the wind.

“C’nog.”

It disappeared once again.

Pipsqueak blinked, looking slightly concerned.  He poked Dinky.  “What was that thing?  And how’d you know what it was saying?”

Dinky looked at him and tilted her head.  “Huh?  So you couldn’t understand it?”  He shook his head rapidly, and Dinky put a hoof to her chin.  “Weird.  Maybe it's a TARDIS thing, like Daddy says."

“Yeah,” Pipsqueak agreed, tugging at her mane.  “Now c’mon!  Let’s get back to the playground before that thing comes back!”

“Wait a second,” Dinky said slowly.  She pointed.  “Look at the hole!”

A shadow spilled forth from the small pit, flickering in the dim light.  Dinky and Pipsqueak clung together, trembling.  As a great shudder ran through the ground, the two exchanged looks.

“Well, it’s been fun playing Pirates with ya, Missus First Mate,” Pipsqueak squeaked out.  Dinky nodded.

“Yes sir, Cap’n.”

The trees rustled as a shape slowly emerged from the hole.  The two foals swallowed and closed their eyes, waiting for the end.

“Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.”

Dinky opened her eyes first.  “Wait...huh?”

She poked at Pipsqueak repeatedly.  “Hey, Pip!  Get up!”

“Ack!  What is it?”

“...That!” Dinky said, pointing and giggling.  Pipsqueak followed her line of sight and let out a nervous chuckle.

A full replica of the huge alien creature stood before them.  It pawed the earth, clawed hooves digging deep into the soil.  Its dark eyes glinted cruelly.

It also stood no higher than the top of Dinky’s hoof.

Dinky giggled again.  “Aw, it’s kinda cute!  I wanna touch it!” She leapt over happily and began poking and prodding it incessantly.  The creature let out a small little hiss, flinching away.

“Um, Dinky?” Pipsqueak asked.  “Are you sure you should be doing that?”

The creature hissed again, but Dinky ignored it.  “It’s fine, Pip!  I bet you can’t—”

With a sudden snarl, the small beast pushed Dinky’s hoof away.  Its hackles raised and scaly skin rippling, it advanced on them, hissing and growling loudly.

Pipsqueak’s froze. “...I think we should run.”

Dinky nodded.  “Probably.”

They took off through the trees screaming, the creature keeping chase.  It leapt over bushes and spun around rocks, keeping its eyes on its targets.

“Think—we’re—losing it?” Pipsqueak asked, huffing and puffing.

Dinky glanced back over her flank.  “Nope!”

The small creature let out a shrill cry, lowering its head and charging for them.

“Keep running!”

The two broke through the treeline and into the schoolyard.  Cheerilee, scolding Silver Spoon off by the swings, looked up at the pair.  “Oh, hello you two.  Recess is almost over, so you can—”

Pipsqueak barreled on through.  “INCOMING!”

Cheerilee took a step back.  “Well, I’m not sure what the—”

Right on Pipsqueak’s heels, Dinky darted between Cheerilee’s hooves, a small and indistinct blur racing after her.  Cheerilee blinked.  “Oh, my.”

The trio—foals and alien creature alike—circled the playground several times, crossing the sandbox, jumping over the swingset, and climbing on top of the jungle gym.  Dinky panted slightly as she dodged around a miniature gazebo. Her breath was coming in short spurts now, her lungs feeling tight. “It’s still after us!”

They rounded a corner, climbing up the ladder to the top of the playset. Pipsqueak swallowed and looked down, sweat running down his face as the miniature alien hissed at them from below.  His hooves trembled.  “I...I don’t think I can make it, Dinky.  I can’t hold on!”

“No! Pip!”

Pipsqueak closed his eyes.  “Goodbye...Dinky.”

“CAPTAIN!”

As if in slow motion, Pipsqueak’s small body fell away from the playset, tumbling down to the ground below.  Dinky watched him fall, her hooves quivering and reaching out in vain.  With a mighty thump, Pipsqueak’s back hit the sand, waves of dust whirling up from the impact.  His flank landed on the ground, flattening the grains of play sand beneath—

—As well as the small alien that had been lurking at the bottom of the ladder.

Pipsqueak slowly sat up, prodding at his ear with one hoof to get the sand out.  He looked around, confused.  “Huh? Where’d it go?”

Dinky’s mouth dropped, and then she shut it, struggling to control her laughter.  “You—you’re sitting on it, silly!”

Pipsqueak glanced quickly toward his rear.  Sure enough, a small, shiny black limb was sticking out from just below his flank.  “Oh...heh.”

“Should we let it go?” Dinky asked, sliding down the ladder to stand beside Pipsqueak.  She frowned and poked at the tiny leg, which was struggling to escape.  Pipsqueak frowned.

“I dunno, Dinky...”

Cheerilee walked over. She frowned and looked down at the two.  “And what’s going on over here?”

Pipsqueak instantly stood up.  “Nothing, Miss Cheerilee,” he said quickly.  A tiny black shape blearily stood up from between Pipsqueak’s legs and sped out of the playground, disappearing into the trees.  Neither Pipsqueak nor Dinky noticed.

Cheerilee sighed and smiled.  “Alright then.  Time to head back inside to class.  Come on, then!”  She turned to go, heading toward the  schoolhouse.

Pipsqueak glanced down at the sand, eyes widening when he saw that the little creature had disappeared.  “Whoa!  Where’d it go?”

Dinky looked about wildly.  “I didn’t see it.”

Pipsqueak sighed.  “Guess it went back to its little hole.”

“It was weird, though,” he said, frowning as they began to walk after Cheerilee.  “I wonder what it wanted?”

Dinky shrugged.  “It was weird enough knowing what it was saying, though I couldn’t really understand what it meant anyway.”

Pipsqueak looked thoughtful.  Then he poked her on the leg.  “Race you to class?”

Dinky smirked. “You’re on.”