Chapters Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
Normally, evenings in Ponyville are a quiet affair. All that one would hear are the usual night time sounds: frogs croaking, insects doing their thing, the occasional hoot of an owl, that sort of thing. Some nights are slightly noisier, with the distant howls of timber wolves, the crash of thunder, or perhaps, loudest of all, the sound of a big Pinkie party in full swing. This night though, the very ground shook with the sounds of explosions while flashes of brilliantly colored light tore through the night sky. With the exception of Granny Smith, who had nodded off early in the display, there was not a single soul asleep within a day's walk of town.
Ponyville was welcoming back one of its own from Canterlot with a week long celebration. The fireworks display was the contribution of one Trixie Lulamoon, who had insisted that it was the least she could do, after the events earlier in the year. Apparently, she felt she had a lot to make up for, as she had pulled out all the stops, providing the largest fireworks show in Ponyville's history. And so the ground shook, displays took shape in the sky and faded away, only to be replaced by new ones, each series more impressive than the last, as the show built toward its grand finalé.
One pony though did not react. She just sat there, staring into the night sky, without so much as a blink. She did not even bother to straighten her headpiece, which sat ever so slightly askew. Most ponies would not even have noticed, but Diamond Tiara was not most ponies, especially when it came to her prized possession. At last, she sighed and turned to her best friend.
"It's just not fair, you know?"
"I know, right? So totally not fair," Silver Spoon said. Her right foreleg shot out to point out a particularly impressive firework as she let out an awed gasp and clapped her hooves together. As the colors and the boom of the firework faded away, she turned toward her friend. "Which not fair thing are we talking about?"
Diamond Tiara snarled. "This! All of this! Why does she get to be a princess? She's just the town librarian, for Sun's sake."
"Well, she did save the town a few times."
"Yeah, from things she probably caused. All those things never happened before she got here."
Silver Spoon furrowed her eyebrows in thought. "She's Princess Celestia's student."
"And that's another thing. She is just a student, but because she's lucky enough to get Princess Celestia as a teacher while we have Miss Cheerilee, she gets to be a princess? Is someone going to make us princesses when we graduate?"
"Probably not," Silver Spoon conceded.
"And all because we're stuck in this town, rather than living someplace special like Canterlot. No chance of us getting a princess as a teacher."
"It's just not fair."
"You're absolutely right, Sil. It isn't." With a sigh, Diamond Tiara turned back toward the display, once again staring into space and pondering the injustice of it all.
"I've got it!" Diamond Tiara said, slapping down a newspaper in front of her friend.
Silver Spoon glanced down and frowned. "An apple eating contest? But I thought you hated apples?"
"Huh? Oh." With an embarrassed grin, Diamond Tiara flipped the newspaper over and pointed to a small article along the side. "That! The article on the Llamtec exhibit. It says one piece, the Hand of Phoe, is supposed to be able to control destiny. We just have to use it and we'll be princesses too, just like we should be."
Silver Spoon quickly read the article. "What's a hand?"
"Beats me. Probably just some made-up word. You know how mystical stuff always gets funny names in stories." Diamond Tiara shrugged. "Doesn't really matter what it's called though, long as it makes us princesses."
Silver Spoon frowned. "I don't know, Diamond. Doesn't that, like, seem sort of unlikely? I mean, if the thing worked, there's no way they'd just have it out in the open right, right? They'd, like, totally lock it up."
"Maybe they just don't know how to use it. Or their need isn't strong enough or something." Seeing her friend still was not buying into the idea, Diamond Tiara tried again. "Look, it is at the Ponyville Museum just this weekend, as part of this princess party thing. This is our only chance. It certainly wouldn't hurt to try, right? And if it doesn't work, we can go have milkshakes."
"Well, maybe, but—"
"My treat." Diamond Tiara stretched the last word out tantalizingly.
Silver Spoon's face scrunched up, trying to resist, and then she smiled. "Why not? Let's do it!"
"Gah!" Diamond Tiara muttered as she wandered down the street toward the diner. "Why'd they have to put the thing in glass case? How are we supposed to use it if we can't even touch it? And can you believe how ugly it was? It was like some misshapen monkey's paw or something. Whatever it came from must have been completely hideous." She continued to fume as she walked.
Silver Spoon said nothing in reply, walking silently at her friend's side. When Diamond was in a mood like this, it was best to just let her get it out of her system, rather than draw attention and risk having her ire turned upon oneself. One certainly did not do something as foolish as block her path. Only an idiot would do something like that. An idiot like the unicorn filly doing just that.
"What do you want?" Diamond Tiara snarled at the foolish pony who dared to stand where Diamond wished to walk.
Sweetie Belle shrunk back. "I was wondering if, um, maybe you'd seen my sister's cat?"
Diamond Tiara looked at the unicorn filly, one eyebrow raised. "And why would we have seen her stupid cat? Shouldn't it be, like, at her house or something?"
"I was cat-sitting for my sister and thought she would look cute with ribbons in her hair, and she... See, there was a window open and she clawed at me and then..." Sweetie Belle glanced down at her hooves, before looking up, her desperation evident within her eyes. "Well, she sorta ran off. I've just got to find her before my sister finds out."
"Well, we haven't seen her." When Sweetie Belle did not immediately vacate the area, Diamond continued. "Hello? That's your sign to get out of our way. We've got more important things to do than help fix your mistakes."
"Yeah. There's like no way we'd spend all day watching some animal, unless it was like really cute," Silver Spoon added for good measure. "And didn't have fleas." She shuddered at the thought.
"Hey!" Sweetie Belle said. "There's no way my sister would let her have those."
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Just get out of our way already."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Sweetie Belle said, stepping aside. "If you see—"
"Yes, you are." Diamond Tiara flipped her mane and, with her nose in the air, walked past the properly chastised unicorn. As soon as Sweetie Belle was out of earshot, she turned to Silver Spoon. "Come on. We've got to find that cat."
"Huh?"
"That silly filly gave me an idea." Diamond grinned and, had she not been standing on four legs, would have rubbed her forelegs together with glee. "We'll let the cat go in the exhibit and while everypony is trying to pet it, we'll use the hand thingy and become princesses."
"Okay, stupid cat, do your thing," Diamond Tiara said, setting down the now ruined sweater in which they had bundled up the cat once they had found her. The cat though made no move, beyond righting herself and crouching low, hissing softly.
"Worthless beast! We didn't get you out of that tree for nothing. Do something useful already!" Diamond Tiara muttered, reaching out a hoof to prod the cat.
Opalescence's paw shot out, claws extended. Diamond Tiara yelped in pain, one of her forelegs bearing the proof the cat's unhappiness at its treatment, and stumbled backwards into the pedestal upon which the hand sat. The pedestal rocked from side to side, coming ominously close to tipping over. Silver Spoon dove forward to catch it, only to find herself slipping on the sweater. Flailing to catch her balance, she slammed into the pillar as well. With a loud thump and the breaking of glass, the pedestal hit the ground, sending the hand sliding across the floor.
Opalescence flew up into the air at the sound and landed facing in the opposite direction, her feet already moving. Hitting the ground, she took off, racing around the room, trying to find a way out, only to find no means of egress. Ponies screamed and reared up in panic at the white ball of fur racing between them. Giving up on the ground level, Opal hopped up onto the tables displaying pottery and other items that had managed to survive the centuries. As if the spirit of an angry civilization determined to reclaim their possessions, Opal knocked pieces to their doom. Museum employees threw themselves at the white tornado of destruction in desperation, succeeding only in causing further destruction.
Diamond Tiara hobbled to where the hand lay and scooped it up with her injured leg, ignoring the pain from the wound and the blood that trickled down from it. "I wish to be a princess!" she hissed at the relic. She turned her head and looked expectantly at her side., but found it the same as always, wingless. A quick brush of her forehead left a small streak of blood, but revealed no horn. "Come on, make me a princess!" she growled. When it failed to comply, she let it drop to the ground. "Bah. Should have known something that ugly would be totally worthless."
Wish a disappointed sigh, she looked around the room and gasped. Some pony had wisely chosen to open the door, letting the crazed cat out. Bits of glass lay everywhere, tables were overturned, pegasi hovered in the air, and Big Mac was being held up in the forelegs of Mayor Mare who staggered beneath the weight of the stallion.
Silver Spoon stumbled to her feet and shook her head in disbelief at scope of the destruction. She whistled softly. "Sweetie Belle is going to be in so much trouble."
Diamond Tiara nodded. "If only the stupid thing had worked. Then we could have pardoned her or something." She took another look over the devastation their actions had caused, then shrugged. "Oh well."
"Milkshakes?" Silver Spoon asked.
Diamond Tiara looked around the room another time, then gave another nod. "Milkshakes."
The two fillies turned and made their way to the door, taking care not to step upon anything. On the ground behind them, the blood upon the Hand of Phoe faded away, and just for a second, the Hand of Phoe radiated a soft pink light, unnoticed by anypony.
Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
Diamond Tiara stared down at her half finished shake. Try as she might, she just could not shake the feeling that she was supposed to be somewhere else. She racked her brain, trying to remember what it was she was, but came up with nothing, again. With a determined mental shove, she dismissed the feeling yet again. Hopefully this time it would stay gone for good and not return like the previous two times.
She took another sip of her milkshake, savoring the vanilla flavor. Sure, most other ponies preferred something like strawberry, chocolate, or, and the thought of it alone was almost enough to make her shudder with revulsion, apples, but they just did not appreciate the value of a high quality vanilla. Probably because their view had been tainted by the stuff passed off to the masses, and so they had never gotten a chance to appreciate the good stuff.
The flavor helped to soothe her and she felt her disappoint of the failure of her plan fading away. Hopefully by the time it was finished, it would be nothing more than a forgotten memory. It had been a long shot anyway, she admitted to herself. The idea that some trinket dug out of the ground by some Daring Do wannabe would turn her into a princess was a bit far fetched. It definitely had not been one of her better ideas. Someday, she and Silver Spoon would look back upon this... and agree to never talk of it again.
And just like that, the nagging feeling that she was supposed to be somewhere was back, stronger than ever.
"Are we supposed to be somewhere, Sil?" she asked.
Silver Spoon looked up from her chocolate shake and pondered the question. At last, she spoke. "No, I don't think so. Tomorrow we've got that tea party with Alula, but I'm pretty sure that's, like, the only thing we've got planned."
Diamond Tiara nodded. "That's what I thought. And yet I can't shake the feeling that I'm supposed to be somewhere right now."
"Maybe something with your dad?" Silver Spoon suggested.
"No. He's out of town 'til Wednesday." Diamond Tiara sighed, looking around the diner, hoping that something would jog her memory. Nothing did though, although the clock seemed to be telling her it was imperative that she go now. She could almost hear the words "time to go" resonating within her head, over and over.
She tried her best to ignore the feeling, to ignore the non-existent words, but it just wouldn't stop. It was almost enough to make her scream. At last, Diamond Tiara shoved her glass away and slid off her seat. "I've got to go."
Silver Spoon nodded, contently sucking on her straw.
Diamond Tiara headed toward the door. Behind her, she heard Sil move to follow her, could hear her calling out for Diamond to stop. She wanted to, but she couldn't. She had to go... somewhere. She slipped out the door and heard the voice of the stallion who ran the diner call out. No doubt wanted to make sure they paid for their drinks. The very idea that they would resort to dine and dashing made her roll her eyes.
She stopped, about to go back in and pay. She had promised it would be her treat after all. But she had somewhere to be. Sil would just have to cover it. She'd make sure to pay her friend back later. Sil would understand. Well, actually she wouldn't, since Diamond Tiara did not understand it either. She just knew she had someplace to be. Sil would forgive her though.
She turned to her left and took a tentative step toward home, but stopped herself. It felt wrong to go that way. She spun around and headed the other direction, speeding up to a trot. Before long, she had left the town, and she felt her anxiety easing. As a quick test, she slowed to a walk, pleased to find out that she felt no need to move faster.
"Maybe I just needed to get out of town," she said. She smiled at the thought. "Well, I'm out. So I'm going to stop now." Mind made up, she did just that, sitting down on her haunches. "Yep, just going to sit here. No place I need to be."
Except the feeling was strengthening again. Her foot twitched, wanting to move forward, and she glared at it until it stopped moving.
"This is so not cool." She gasped. "Oh great, now I'm talking to myself like some kooky old lady!"
Her foot started to twitch again, and she gave it another disapproving look. It did not, however, settle down.
"Okay, fine, stupid foot. You win. We'll go on. But when I get to the bottom of this, somepony is going to pay!"
She got to her feet and walked onward, at a leisurely pace. She had to go somewhere, fine, but she was not going to give whatever was driving her the idea that she was its eager servant. She would go at her own pace. A nice relaxed pace, not at all like the trot she was doing right now. She muttered several words she had heard her father say when an employee had screwed up a major order and slowed herself back down.
She had to figure out what was going on. Obviously, it was not something she had done. It couldn't be the Hand of Phoe. She hadn't wished for a long walk after all, and since she wasn't a princess, the thing was probably nothing more than a trinket from a sideshow. No, something else had to be the cause. Someone was doing this to her. Probably out of jealousy.
She tried to build a list of the ponies in town who might be jealous of her, but gave up. Everypony but her father and Silver Spoon was just too many. She needed a clue, some sort of sign. She stopped, her jaw dropping open, as she looked at the arch ahead of her, a large wooden board with an apple shape cut out of it dangling from its highest point.
"Of course Apple Bloom is behind this." Diamond thought it over and nodded. It made perfect sense. Apple Boom was always trying some crazy scheme to get her cutie mark, and it inevitably went wrong. No doubt she'd been messing with something mystical again, probably stolen from that zebra lady, just like that time she'd darn near infected the entire town with that deadly disease.
She put on her most determined face and strode onto the farm and headed toward the living quarters. Without so much as a knock, she barged inside, tossing her head from side to side as she looked for the filly. Not find her, she turned toward the startled Applejack.
"Where is she?" Diamond Tiara demanded. "You can't hide her!"
Just for the briefest of moments, Applejack's eyes shifted toward the door on the far side of the room. Diamond Tiara smiled, taking a determined step toward the room Applejack had glanced at.
"Wait!" Applejack called out, pulling Diamond's attention away from the door and the filly behind it. "Y'all can't go in there, because, um, Granny is tired and taking her nap in there and you don't wanna be wakin' her up, right?"
Diamond Tiara examined the fake grin on Applejack's face and the way the farm pony's eyes were shifting. Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Like, seriously? You're going to go with that?" She gestured with her head toward the rocking chair and the sleeping Granny Smith sitting on it.
Applejack sighed. "Ah really gotta learn to stick to the truth." She took a deep breath, then tried again. "Look, she just be wantin' some time to herself. It's been a mite bit busy in town, what with all the hubbub, and she's plum tuckered out. Can't y'all just leave her alone for a bit?"
Diamond Tiara paused, just long enough to give Applejack the slightest bit of hope, before crushing it. "No," she said, shoving the door open and pointing an accusing hoof at the pony within.
"I know you did this, Apple Bloom! Fess up! You're not going— " Diamond blinked twice, looked at her hoof in confusion, then back at the pony. "Hey! You're not Apple Bloom!"
Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
Applejack's hoof came down on Diamond Tiara's shoulder, turning the shocked filly around. "And why the hay were you lookin' for Apple Bloom?"
"Um, no reason. We were just playing a game is all." Diamond Tiara grinned, sheepishly. Experience had taught her that lying with a cute expression tended to work better than the truth, especially when the truth was that Applejack's darling little sister was in fact a no-good menace to society..
"And so you just barge into mah house and wake up Twilight?"
"But at least I didn't wake your grandmother," Diamond Tiara helpfully pointed out.
"It's alright, Applejack," Twilight said, stifling a yawn. "I need to start getting dressed for the costume ball anyway." She paused for several seconds. "Actually, I'm surprised Rarity isn't here yet. She was going to help me put on this dress she designed. I don't think I've ever seen a costume with so many pieces, but she assured me it would look absolutely fabulous."
"Oh, um, she might be a bit busy at the museum," Diamond Tiara said. The two older ponies cast inquiring looks in her direction, so she continued. "Her cat got in there somehow and might have broken some stuff." She quickly moved one scratched foreleg behind the other. "That's what I heard happened, anyway."
Twilight's legs shot out, grasping Diamond Tiara around the shoulders and pulling her face close to Twilight's. "The Llamtec Exhibit? Was anything important damaged?"
Diamond recalled the scene. The pieces of pottery scattered across the floor. The torn pieces of cloth. The delicate piece of jewelry that had wound up flattened under the hooves of a panicked mare. All the work of a civilization long lost in the annals of time.
"I don't think so," she said, shaking her head. The pottery's paint had faded after all, the cloth was like way old, and the jewelry was totally not in style. "Nope. Nothing important." She paused. "That I heard of. Because I wasn't involved." She shifted her face to her best helpful yet innocent smile, adding a few cute blinks for good measure.
Twilight breathed a sigh of relief, releasing the filly. Turning to Applejack, she said, "Well, I guess we'll have to make due without her. I don't suppose that you could..." She tilted her head toward where her costume for the night's ball was laid out carefully on a chair.
"Help you put that contraption on?" Applejack looked at the pile, then shrugged. "Ah reckon Ah can. Can't be too hard now, can it?"
"I fear she might have gone a bit overboard in her excitement at making a costume fit for a princess," Twilight said. "So many different pieces."
Applejack chuckled. "That's our Rarity." She walked over to the chair and picked up the piece on top, looking it over. "This, um, must go..." She held it up, trying to match it to part of Twilight, then flipped it over and tried again. "Right hind leg?" she said. "Maybe?"
She carried it over to Twilight and put the piece in place. Twilight winced as Applejack tightened the laces.
"Is it... supposed to... be that tight?" Twilight asked, between Applejack's tugs on the laces.
Diamond Tiara snickered. "Of course not. She's got it on the wrong leg."
Applejack scowled at the filly, but undid what she had just done and tried it on the other leg.
"Wrong again," Diamond Tiara said. "You got it upside down now."
"Ah'll have you know I wore something sort of like this when Ah lived in Manehatten." She looked over at the pile. "Well, maybe not quite so fancy." She shrugged. "But Ah know up from down and Ah reckon Ah can figure it out without the help of some snooty little filly. And speakin' of that, why are you still here? Shouldn't you be skedaddling on home?"
"I can't."
"You can't?" Applejack raised one eyebrow.
"Well, see..." Diamond Tiara struggled to think of a way she could explain that something had made her come here and would not let her leave. A way that would not make her sound crazy. "Well, just watch..."
She took a step out the room, then another. Nothing abnormal happened. "Hey, it's working! I can walk!" she exclaimed with glee. She continued to move, one hoof in front of the other, her eyes watching every step while her smile grew bigger with each one.
Behind her she could hear Applejack comment. "That filly ain't right in the head."
"You aren't right in the head," Diamond Tiara said softly to herself. But she couldn't stay angry right now. She was free to move as she wanted to again. With that, she broke into a gallop, looking forward to leaving the farm behind. She had to find Silver Spoon and apologize for running out like that. But first she had to figure out why the world was suddenly moving like she was spinning head over heels.
With a loud oomph, she collided with the ground. "Oh, come on!" She glared at her legs, which had once again betrayed her. "Now you stop me? Couldn't you have done it inside? And when I wasn't running?"
Diamond Tiara looked around for the source of the voice but saw nopony. "Don't suppose it was you?" she asked a bird sitting on a nearby tree. "No, of course not." She kicked a rock. "Great. Just great. First my legs don't work right, then I'm talking to myself, and now I'm hearing things!"
"And the crazy voice rhymes. Of course it rhymes. I'm going insane. Applejack is right. I'm not right in the head. They're going to lock me up and I'll sit in a padded room all day talking to myself."
She could see it already. She would be sitting there in one of them jackets, a trickle of drool hanging from one side of her mouth, thanks to the meds they would have her on. Silver Spoon would visit her and tell her what was happening beyond the walls. And the whole time, Diamond would be on the verge of breaking out into hysterical laughter, not sure if Sil was actually there or if it was all just in her head. "That'll be me! Insane in the membrane. One day she just snapped, they'll say. My glorious life. This is so not fair."
"What? I'm supposed to go be Celestia's new student? But then why make me come here? And what are you anyway?" Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she realized. "You're the paw thing. And you want me to be to study with the crazy library lady?"
"Hand, paw, whatever. Can't even— Wait a second. That didn't rhyme!"
The voice did not answer.
Diamond Tiara stumbled back to her feet, taking a moment to brush off the dust. With care, she picked up her tiara, inspecting it for damage. For once, something went right today and it was fine. She wondered if the absence of wrong even qualified as right, but shrugged it off. Today it most certainly did. Carefully, she placed it back on her head.
"Okay, Oh Most Worthless Artefact ever. Ye who can't just make things happen, poof, like that. Who tortures those unlucky enough to ask it for help. I'll do what you want, because it isn't like you're giving me any choice."
She wiped a smudge of dirt she'd missed earlier off her coat and growled. She reared up and shook a hoof at the sky. "Is this how you get your jollies? Making innocent fillies do things just so that they can become a princess?" She stopped, dropping back down to all fours, her eyes wide open.
"I'm going to be a princess," she whispered to herself. "A princess!" She squealed with glee, bouncing around a circle. "Princess princess princess!
"Get control of yourself, Diamond. Be calm. Be in control," she told herself. She began counting, doing her best to slow her breathing. "Okay, here we go." She slipped back into the house, tip-hoofing past the still sleeping Granny Smith, and up to the door.
She cautiously peeked inside the room, nearly falling over while trying to restrain her laughter at the sight. Pieces were on the wrong limbs, inside out, upside down, and in some cases, all three. It looked almost as bad as the time the blank flanks had decided to try their hooves at dressmaking.
"Maybe you'd better let me help?" she asked.
Applejack looked at her work and frowned, while Twilight took advantage of the opportunity to check herself out in a mirror.
"I'm sorry, AJ, but maybe it might be a good idea if she helped a little?"
Before Applejack could respond, Diamond Tiara spoke up. "Not so fast. I'll help, but only if you agree to take me on as your personal student. Your... that fancy word the mayor said? Protage?"
"Protégé?" Twilight Sparkle asked.
"That's the word! Protégé."
Applejack glared at the little filly. "A pony could use your help and you hold it for ransom? You cold-hearted, little—"
"My dad always says to negotiate from a position of strength," Diamond Tiara said, giving a curt nod. With a wicked smile, she went in for the kill. "Unless the princess wants to be... late ?
Applejack took a step toward the filly. "Why I oughta have a—"
"It's alright, Applejack," Twilight Sparkle said, looking into the mirror with a sigh. "I think she's got me over the proverbial barrel. Besides, with Spike in Canterlot helping Princess Celestia with the delegation from the Union of Democratic Dragon Republics, I could use a helping hoof."
"Ah could help," Applejack volunteered.
"For the whole week? You've got a farm to run. And our other friends are busy as well. Rarity's got to catch up on the orders she put off to make this dress. Dash has to manage to weather. Fluttershy the bird choir and her animals. And I think Pinkie has two dozen parties planned."
"Well, maybe Apple Bloom and her friends?" Applejack held up a hoof to stop the reply before it came. "Okay, okay. That would probably wind up creating more work." She lifted the hat off her head and brushed her mane with her other hoof. "Fine. But Ah don't like how this went down. This ain't the proper pony way to do things."
"Me either, but one thing I've learned from Celestia is that sometimes you have to make the best of a bad situation." Twilight turned her head toward the filly. "Alright, Diamond Tiara. I'll accept your offer," Twilight Sparkle said, causing the filly to bounce into the air repeatedly, "but on two conditions. First, you'll be working for me, so you'll do what I say. And there's going to be plenty to do, so expect to be busy. And second, this is only until Spike comes back. Then, we'll see where we stand. Okay?"
Diamond Tiara stopped bouncing and frowned. A trial basis? The librarian princess wanted to put her on a trial basis? She almost rejected it just at the indignity. She was Diamond Tiara! But then she shrugged. There was no way it wouldn't continue. Not with all her style, grace, and keen diplomatic skills. Not to mention, she had the hand-paw thing backing her up, although that particular thought worried her more than it comforted her. Well, whatever. She would pass this test with ease. No doubt by the time Spike returned, Twilight would be ready to ship him off to the dragon orphanage or a zoo or wherever unwanted dragons went. She turned her gaze to meet Twilight Sparkle's and extended her hoof toward the princess.
"Deal! You just wait and see! I'll be the best princess protégé you ever had."
She liked the sound of that, actually, repeating it in her head, while she shook hooves with Twilight. Diamond Tiara, Princess Protégé. And later, Princess Diamond. Princess Diamond of Equestria. No, she would definitely have to found her own kingdom. Princess Diamond of Dazzlandia. Yes, that would be it. With a giant castle, studded with diamonds and surrounded by statues of her, gifts from her grateful subjects.
Applejack cleared her throat, breaking Diamond from her daydream. "The dress?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, the dress!" The filly released Twilight's hoof and launched herself at the alicorn, babbling instructions and comments, as well as a few criticisms of the design, working quickly to undo the tangled disaster Applejack had created.
Doing her best to avoid the flying clothes, Applejack fled the room, before Diamond Tiara could start issuing her orders like she was doing to Twilight. Besides, she had a dress of her own she needed to get into anyway, though thankfully one that was not nearly as elaborate.
Twilight Sparkle, now properly adorned in the overly fancy getup, shook her head in amused disbelief of the little filly proudly prancing ahead of her, and frowned a bit at Diamond Tiara loudly announcing that a princess was coming through and for other ponies to get out of the way. She turned her head toward Applejack. "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"
Applejack snorted. "And Ah'll be sure to tell you Ah told you so when it happens."
Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
"Don't you have servants for that? What's the point of being a princess if you don't have servants?" Diamond Tiara asked.
Twilight laughed. "No, no servants. Normally Spike and I do it every week, but I'm afraid that with all the coronation stuff that we've fallen a bit behind."
"I could get one of our maids to come do it, until you can get some servants of your own," Diamond Tiara helpfully suggested.
"It's just a bit of dusting, Diamond. No need to bother anypony else about it. Besides, you said you wanted to help, right?"
Diamond Tiara frowned. She wanted to be a princess, not help. Princesses didn't do menial housework. But Twilight was a princess, and she was talking about dusting. So there had to be something more going on here, she reasoned.
"Oh," she said, stretching out the word. "I totally get it now. This is a test, isn't it? Some sort of test of my character."
Twilight bit her lip. "Sure, fine, whatever. It's a test. Now can you handle dusting the library?"
Diamond nodded her head up and down repeatedly, her tiara nearly falling off her head from the speed of the motion. "Of course! I'll do the best dusting job ever. You just wait and see!"
Diamond Tiara stifled a yawn.
It had been a whole ten minutes and she had only finished a single shelf. At this rate, it would take hours before she finished the entire library. That was completely unacceptable. She'd totally miss her tea party with Silver Spoon and Alula. Oh, and she might fail the test.
Resolving to go faster, she pushed the ladder over to the next shelf and clambered up. With the duster held in her mouth, she brushed the top row of books. Dust flew into the air and into her nose. She scrunched her face, trying to hold off the inevitable, but it was too late.
She sneezed hard, nearly losing her grip on the ladder. The duster, taking advantage of her open mouth, tumbled downward. She rubbed her nose to ward off another sneeze, then looked down at the fallen duster.
"There has got to be a better way to do this."
She grinned at the sight of it sitting proudly in the middle of the library. The Cyclone 9000, the biggest and most powerful vacuum cleaner on the market, with more than twice the ponypower of its nearest competitor. It was loaded with features, like the ability to reverse the airflow. It could even make toast. And best of all, her father's store carried it. It had taken some effort for her to convince the manager to let her borrow it, and more still to ponyhandle the display model all the way to the library, but she had managed it. Now she'd get the place clean, impress the princess, and still make her tea party with time to spare.
She quickly glanced over the instruction manual, skipping the unimportant stuff like the words in the sections labelled 'caution', 'warning', 'operating instructions', and 'safety'. It was probably all obvious stuff like not to use it in a swimming pool or something anyway. Sure, that was pretty much the entire manual, leaving only the pictures, but she was on a tight schedule and anything really important would have a picture anyway, she reasoned. Satisfied she knew what she was doing, she tossed the manual aside and looked over the hose attachments, settling on the biggest one.
"Now, low, medium, or high?" she said, looking at the power settings. "High, of course." She turned the knob, then noticed the switch beside it. With a grin, she flipped it. "Turbo power! That'll go even faster!"
Ready for action, she bit down on the handle and turned on the machine. She strained against the pull of the air being sucked into the machine, wrapping her forelegs around it for good measure, and directed it toward a pile of books. A series of thumps shook her as three books flew off the pile onto the end of the tube.
Diamond Tiara's stomach felt uneasy as the pitch of the machine shifted as it struggled against the impeded airflow. For a second, the first book managed to resist the pull, but then, with a ripping sound, it came apart, blocks of pages pulled down the tube.
"No, no, no!" she yelled, desperately trying to free the other two books from the clutches of the machine with one of her hooves. With a sickening slurp, the second book was gone, and then the third.
She watched in horror as other books started to slide off the pile toward the devouring maw of the vacuum cleaner. One even lifted into the air and flew right into the infernal machine's insatiable gullet. No more, she decided, wrapping all her legs around the hose. With a loud grunt, she wrestled the hose down, a hoof searching for the switch at the end. "Got it!" she yelled and flipped the switch.
Silence fell across the room as the machine stopped and the books stopped their slide toward doom. She gave herself a celebratory hoof pump. She'd successfully saved them. She turned her attention to the vacuum cleaner and rubbed her chin.
"Okay, maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Opening the bin, she reached inside and examined the contents. "Let's see... Elements of Harmony , Supernatural Remedies , Dragons on Dragons: the Complete Guide to Dragons , and The World Through the Mirror ..." She wiped her brow in relief. Nobody would ever want to read those books; she was sure of it.
She grabbed the ruined books and stuffed them in the garbage can, making sure to bury them beneath the other contents. Her tracks covered, she turned her attention back to the machine. She'd been so sure this would work. She frowned as she looked over the machine's settings. There had to be a way. She threw her head backwards and laughed as it came to her. The reverse airflow feature! That way, she could blow all the dust away and no books would get torn apart.
"Another potential crisis averted by your keen intellect, Diamond Tiara," she said as she changed the setting.
Grabbing hold of the end of the hose again, she activated the machine. It roared to life and she directed it at the nearest shelf. Dust flew into the air and Diamond mentally cheered. It was working! At this rate, she would be done in a minute. She directed the air to the next shelf, with similar results, and then the third. Unfortunately, she noticed just a bit too late that this was a shelf for storing scrolls and pieces of paper. Within seconds, the library looked like a snow globe, the contents of the shelf floating through the air..
"No!" she said, followed by an "Oh no!" as she realized she'd just released her grip on the machine. She snapped at it, but it whipped away, and just as quickly reversed direction and slammed into her. Diamond Tiara felt the air knocked out of her as she collided with the wall and slid to the ground.
Diamond Tiara's jaw dropped. The hose seemed to have a life of its own, whipping through the air like some crazed demon snake. Everywhere it went, papers, even whole books, were flung into the air. It left small cyclones in its wake, which spun off causing even more chaos. A small part of her brain managed to point out that at least all the dust was gone from the shelves, before the rest of her brain pummeled that part into silence.
With a snarl of rage, she picked herself up off the ground and tackled the tube. It barely seemed to notice her, continuing its frenzy of destruction. Her legs ached, and she took several hard blows as she was slammed into objects. Still, she hung on, slowly crawling up the tube. She had to reach the power switch. There was still time for her to fix this. She stretched out a hoof, trying to reach the end of the hose. Just a little bit further, she encouraged herself.
Suddenly, a purplish glow surrounded the end of the hose and the machine fell silent. For a second, Diamond Tiara hung there, up in the air, clinging onto the hose, before gravity took its course. Her legs flailed wildly, trying to gain traction on the air, but sadly, lacking the wings of a pegasus, gravity won the battle and she found herself reunited with the ground. All around her, she heard the thumps of books hitting the floor.
She blinked, trying to make out the fuzzy blob amidst the leaves drifting down. Slowly, her vision cleared, revealing a rather angry, paper-covered alicorn. Diamond looked up rather sheepishly. "I finished dusting," she said, giving her most winning grin, but the princess gave no response. Diamond Tiara swallowed. "And I was just going to, um, reshelve everything."
Twilight said nothing, though her eyes and flaring nostrils spoke volumes, before she turned around and walked out, slamming the door so hard the entire tree shook.
Diamond Tiara sighed. It looked like she'd be missing the tea party after all.
Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
The air was loud with cheers as the ponies crossed the finish line, the watchers rushing in from either side to congratulate their favorites. Above it all hung a single hot air balloon and, within its basket, two ponies.
"Thanks again for letting me watch the race up here with you, Pinkie," Twilight said.
"Oh, it was no biggie, Twi. It'd have been boring without anypony to talk to anyway, with my usual co-announcer being out of town and all."
"I just really didn't want to deal with a crowd at the moment." Twilight leaned out and waved at the crowd below, before turning back to Pinkie. "You should have seen it, Pinkie. Books were everywhere but on the shelves, paper were scattered about, and scrolls were draped across the furniture."
Pinkie's brow furrowed, as she tried to imagine it. "Ooooh, I got it! It must have look just like when you're busy on some big research project, right?" Pinkie asked.
Twilight rested her head upon her hooves, not really hearing what Pinkie had said. "It was a simple thing. Just dust the books. And she brought in some huge device and near destroyed the entire place. It'll take me hours to reshelve everything. I was really hoping to catch up on some reading tonight. I had it scheduled in and everything, see?" She pulled out a schedule and pointed to the relevant section. "What am I going to do with her?"
Pinkie pondered, then her face brightened. "I know. Let's go higher!"
Twilight looked at Pinkie. "You want to go higher?"
"Uh-huh," Pinkie said, nodding her head rapidly. "It's a really nice day and I think from higher up we could see everything clearly. It'd be a shame to waste the chance, don'tcha think? It's really amazing how much you can see from up on high."
Twilight frowned. She lifted her head and peered at Pinkie. "Perhaps you're right. Maybe some distance would be for the best. Take us up."
"Okie dokie, here we go!" Pinkie said. "This'll be so much fun!" As she turned up the flame, the balloon rose higher into the sky, the ground and all its troubles shrinking into the distance.
Diamond Tiara looked at her progress so far and sighed. This was taking even longer than the dusting had and already she felt her legs getting tired from all the lifting. Some of these books were way bigger than they needed to be. She looked at the book in front of her. Did anypony even care about all the collected works of Coltstoy anyway? She reached out to grab it. With a frown, she tried a different angle of approach, only to get the same result. She tried one last time, opening her mouth as wide as possible, but was still unable to get a hold on the thick book.
"This is hopeless," she said, sitting down.
"Oh, sure, now you pipe up. And with the rhyming again. Couldn't you have said something useful earlier, like, say, about not using the vacuum cleaner?" Diamond Tiara titled her head expectantly, but no answer was forthcoming. "Yeah, thought so. Well, it doesn't matter, because there's no way I'm going to get all this cleaned up in time anyway. There's no way she'll let me stick around after this mess."
"Order some guards to do it for her?" Diamond Tiara asked. Diamond Tiara was not sure how a disembodied voice could sigh, but it did. Perhaps that was just further proof that she was going insane. The voice tried again, with a slightly different phrasing.
Diamond Tiara tried to recall what she'd heard about the princess. "Well, she'd probably make a list of things to do, then panic. After which she might go crazy. I suppose I could do the list thing, because then I'd be three for three."
She kicked the book in frustration. With a sigh, she lay down, resting her head upon it. "Well, at least you're good for something," she said, half-closing her eyes. She let her mind wander, thinking of the day outside. How she wished she had spent it on the hilltop with her friends, having a tea party and then watching the race, the way they had planned. Her eyes shot open.
"Her friends. They'd help her."
She leapt to her feet and raced to the door. Weaving through ponies, she ran as fast as she could toward the hilltop they had chosen. Hopefully they would still be there. Hopefully Silver Spoon wasn't too angry with her.
Twilight Sparkle thanked her lucky stars that nopony was in front of the library. She was getting pretty confident in her ability to glide, but her landings still left something to be desired in the grace department, especially when she knew somepony was watching. But beyond that, she preferred some privacy for the events to come.
She paused before the door, taking a deep breath. She didn't like it, but try as she might, she couldn't see any other choice. The whole point of accepting Diamond Tiara's offer had been to make her life easier, and now instead she was faced with extra work.
True, the filly had been helpful the previous night. Without her help and with Rarity a no show, Twilight was sure she would never have gotten the costume on right. But even then there had been issues. Twilight had almost lost count of the number of times she had needed to rein in the over-anxious little filly when she went off on some poor pony for a supposed breach of protocol. Her face would get this fierce little expression and then she'd step forward. And each time Twilight told her it was alright, that it was not an issue, her face would get this pouting look, and Twilight could tell that she was barely holding herself from explaining why it most definitely was not alright. Twilight was kind of surprised she never tried. No doubt, at some point in the future, she would. No, Twilight was certain, her life would definitely be simpler without the help. She'd just have to make do until her number one assistant returned.
She took a deep breath, steeled her nerves, and pushed open the door.
She blinked her eyes, not believing what she saw. The entire library was spotless. The books were on the shelves, the papers neatly stacked, and there was no sign of the device that had caused all the mayhem. In the center of the library, curled upon the rug, Diamond Tiara raised her head off a thick book and yawned sleepily.
Twilight met the filly's eyes. "You did all this?"
"Yup," Diamond Tiara said, bouncing to her feet. "Well, sort of. My friends helped me. See, I was looking at the mess and then I asked myself what you would do. And that's when I went and found my friends and together we got everything cleaned up. We were going to put them all alphabetically, but then we had a better idea."
"A better idea?" Twilight Sparkle asked cautiously.
"Oh yeah. We put together a whole system, grouping books by subject." She pointed to one of the shelves. "That one is the one hundreds. That's for books on gardening." She pointed to the one next to it. "The two hundreds are for beauty and fashion." She continued around the room. "Three hundreds: romance stories. Four hundreds: business. Five hundreds: Flying. That one was Alula's idea. Six hundreds are for history and science and stuff, so we can easily find stuff we need for school. And then the seven hundreds are for all the less important stuff, like medicine, philosophy, and unicorn things.
"I call it the Diamond Decimal System," Diamond Tiara said, beaming as proudly as a dog with a new bone.
Twilight's jaw slowly dropped. Not only had Diamond Tiara cleaned up the entire mess she had created, but she'd come up with a new cataloging system as well? Twilight compared the system she had just implemented the previous month. Slowly, she nodded. "I can definitely see some benefits to the idea..." Diamond Tiara's grin returned in full force. "But I think the categories could definitely use some tweaking though."
"Oh," said Diamond Tiara, frowning slightly and looking down. She looked up cautiously. "Can we keep the name though?"
Not a chance in Tartarus, Twilight Sparkle thought, but looking at the filly, she didn't have the heart to tell her so. "We'll see. Now, what do you say we get started on improving things. I've got a few ideas already..."
Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
Diamond Tiara walked down the street, admiring the architecture. It had changed so much over the years. Gone were cute little wooden houses, replaced by modern buildings of book and mortar. Some of them stood as high as five stories, and it was in one of those she could see a little filly rush eagerly to the window, a plastic tiara on her head, gazing in awe at the majesty of the princess. Had it only been that few years ago that she had been that small?
She gave the filly a wave and a smile, before turning her attention to the town square ahead of her. The statue of her was almost complete. All that remained was to coat its grey stone with alchemical compounds to give it its proper color and to place the diamonds within the tiara. The diamonds in question were the largest ones in the known world and had cost a small fortune. She had told her subjects that it really was not necessary that they be real, but they had insisted. Through bake sales, cart washes, and other activities, they had raised the bits necessary.
Already, there was talk of the statue being a marvel of the modern world, rivaling Princess Celestia's palace in Canterlot. And that was in its current unfinished state. Once complete, all were sure it would surpass anything Canterlot had to offer. Two new hotels were being built around the square, and a third was planned, all to take advantage of their view of the five-story tall, life-size statue of the princess.
She craned her neck from side to side, taking in the town. Dazzleopolis certainly had grown considerably from when it was the town of Ponyville. Maybe she should consider declaring that the town square was now the city square, or maybe she should name it after herself. Her subjects would like that. Though, come to think of it, Diamond Square didn't quite have the perfect ring to it. Maybe she should find some other worthy pony to name it after. It wouldn't be becoming to have everything named after herself, after all. She looked down at her entourage. Spotting the scribe, she motioned for him to take a note.
"Let it be known that henceforth the town square shall be known as… Cheerilee, no wait, as Twilight Court." That would be perfect, naming the court after her former mentor. Sure, it had only been for a short while and now Princess Twilight often came to her for advice, but she had learned things from the purple alicorn before outgrowing her tutelage. That fancy word being one of them, she recalled, her laughter ringing out, causing all the ponies with hearing distance to turn her way and smile.
Life was good, and she closed her eyes, content, taking a moment to savor the clean air and the sounds of her happy subjects.
She crashed hard into a building, sending books flying in every direction. She heard a scream and instinctively caught the falling object within her hooves. She peeked inside, seeing the filly who had waved at her earlier. Carefully, she placed the little one on the ground. Narrowing her eyes, she swore that whatever had put the filly's life at risk would pay.
She got to her feet and pawed the ground, snorting fiercely. Through the dust and paper, she could make out the blurry form of her attacker. She waited for the air to clear enough to make out who it was.
Would it be that green and purple dragon, once again escaped from the zoo, determined to possess everything? Were the griffons looking for another lesson in why ponies were superior? Or was it Apple Bloom, leader of the Terror Trio, reviled throughout the country, nay, the world? Whichever of them it was, she was looking forward to pummeling them. For the good of her ponies, of course.
The attacker's head came into view and Diamond Tiara gasped. Five stories tall, a mass of living grey stone, her statue took a step forward. Upon its head, the tiara seemed to melt, running down the statue's neck and face, forming rough shapes.
"Is it really you?" she asked, backing deeper into the building, sending more books tumbling to the ground. The statue took another step forward, its necklace and glasses becoming more defined with every passing second.
Diamond Tiara jumped into the air, her forelegs now wings, beating furiously to lift her into the air. The statue lunged forward, and Diamond screamed as she felt its teeth clamp down on one of her wings. She screamed again as she felt herself hurled through the air.
She collided with the ground, bounced back into the air, collided and bounced again, before rolling to a stop. She lifted her chest off the ground, her sore body complaining about every movement. Ahead of her, a building exploded as the statue strode through it. No longer did it bear her manestyle. Instead, a single braid dangled down one side.
Diamond got her rear legs underneath her and ran as best she could down to the road to her left. It wasn't familiar, a strange street that seemed to be one long block, but that didn't matter. She had to get away. In the distance, a single cross street beckoned. She lowered her head and prepared to run faster, only to skid to a halt. Impossibly, the statue stepped out into the street and turned her way.
Her hooves slipped on the pavement as she reversed direction, ducking into a side street that had not existed a moment before. The buildings on either side towered over her, seeming to lean in. Behind her, she could hear the thundering hoofbeats of the giant pony, getting closer with every thump. She skidded around a corner and through an open door. Quickly, she slammed the door shut and piled every bit of furniture within easy reach in front of it.
Satisfied with the size of her barricade, she looked around. "The old library?" she asked. "How'd I end up here?"
She ceased her wondering though, as the library shuddered, sending dust drifting down from the rafters. For a brief moment, the library was still, but then it shook again, worse than before, its sides warping, the wood creaking and snapping, before the ceiling gave way, peeled open like a giant can. The giant pony glared down at Diamond Tiara.
"Did you, like, really think you could lose me?" Silver Spoon asked, tossing the top of the library to the side. She licked her lips as she positioned her right foreleg.
Diamond Tiara screamed and flung herself to the side as a giant hoof slammed into where she had just been standing. Her friend wasted no time, positioning the limb of impending doom for another strike. Diamond Tiara looked around the room, her eyes settling on a possibility.
"This is so going to hurt," she managed to say before the hoof came hurtling down again and she flung herself down the stairwell. At the bottom, she staggered to her feet. "Sometimes, I hate being right all the time."
Her entire body felt sore, about as sore as if she'd just helped to reshelve a library twice in one day. Still, she was alive, and sore and alive definitely beat the alternative. The ceiling cracked under a hammering blow, reminding her that she was still quick likely to experience that alternative. She took stock of her environment. No exits other than the one she had come in by. Some tables, gadgets, potions, and book shelves.
Making herself as small as she could, she raced toward a bookshelf, as timber rained down around her and the statue's head looked into the room, instantly locking its gaze on her. She backed up into the corner, trying to become one with the wood to no avail. Silver Spoon smiled maliciously, shoving aside more of the ceiling as she reached a hoof slowly toward the nearest book, which now towered over the tiny Diamond.
Diamond Tiara looked up into the eyes of her friend. "Why?" she asked, her voice barely audible.
"We were totally supposed to be princesses together," the statue replied.
"I'm... I'm sorry?"
"Sorry doesn't cut it." Silver Spoon gave the top of the book a tap.
Diamond Tiara screamed.
The morning sun shone into a bedroom, revealing a small filly curled into a tight ball on a big bed. Her blankets lay on the ground at the foot of the bed, and her sheets were soaked with sweat. Throughout the night, dream after dream. Some had been nice, even one in which her subjects worshipped the very ground she walked in, but the majority… She shuddered. Executed, exiled, imprisoned, forgotten, and lost within a Nightmare Tiara, she had experienced it all. She'd tried to wake up, pleaded to do so even, but it had continued, unstopping, with only the rare good dreams offering solace, until at last the dawn had come,
She hugged her forelegs around herself more tightly, then lifted her head, softly asking a single question. "Was… was that necessary?"
< Yes. >
"Really?"
< Maybe. >
Diamond Tiara frowned, unsure if the voice was serious or not. One thing was sure though. She definitely needed to make things right with Silver Spoon. Whatever else might come, she was sure she could face it, as long as she had her BFF at her side.
Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
With a wave to the butler, Diamond Tiara set out toward Silver Spoon's house. The upside to her turbulent night was that she woke up earlier than usual, and that gave her just enough time to explain things before she had to get to the library.
She walked rapidly, trying to figure out what she would say. "So, um, Sil, that hand thing. Yeah, it, well, sort of works, just not very well. So I'm sorta going to maybe be a princess, and that's why I have to help Miss Spar— Princess Twilight with stuff. Oh, and since the exhibit has left town after the cat destroyed most of it, you're out of luck. Sorry."
Yeah, that would go over well. Probably the best response she could hope for would be for Sil to think it was a joke. Far more likely, she'd think Diamond was making something up. Except she wasn't, and she wouldn't, not when it came to Sil. She'd just have to make Sil understand.
Diamond opened the gate and walked up the path to the door. She rapped on the door, shifting impatiently until it opened.
"Good morning, Diamond," Silver Spoon's mother said. "Here to see Sil?"
"Yes, ma'am," Diamond Tiara said. "Is she up?"
Silver's mother nodded and stepped to the side. "She's up in her room."
"Thanks," Diamond said, making her way in. The door was open just a crack, and within the room she could see Sil lying on her bed, writing in her diary.
"Hey, Sil," Diamond said, pushing the door open the rest of the way.
Silver Spoon lifted her hoof in greeting, but kept her attention on her writing. She jotted down a couple more sentences, then dropped the pen. Turning to her friend, she said, "I was just writing about how I had to pay after my friend mysteriously ran off, only to return the next day and ask for help with cleaning up the library."
"About that," Diamond began and ended. The words would not come, or more accurately, could not come. She couldn't even mouth the words. Her jaw and lips stayed stubbornly in place. She knew the feeling though. She had felt it before, on her journey to the Acres. The artefact at work. Of course, it couldn't have told her that before hoof. No, once again, it left her looking like the fool. Well, not this time.
"I just came by to drop off the bits I owe you." Diamond fished into her coin purse and placed the coins on the bed.
Silver Spoon looked at her, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Are you sure that's everything?" Silver Spoon asked. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"
How Diamond Tiara wished that were still true. She sighed deeply. "I know. Lunch today?"
"Sure. Where?"
"Picnic, under our tree at school, and I'll tell you everything, okay?"
Silver's questioning look was back, stronger than ever, but whatever questions she had, she held them back. "Okay."
Diamond trudged toward the library, her hooves scraping along the ground with each step. She checked her surroundings, making sure nopony was near.
"You won't let me tell her the truth?"
< A changed fate is easier to achieve when others know not of the weave. >
She stopped and asked, "So now what am I supposed to do?"
When no answer was forthcoming, she sighed and resumed walking. "Not your problem, huh? We swore to always tell each other everything, you know. What am I supposed to do now? Lie to her?" She walked on for another block, but the Hand still had nothing to say.
"I've never lied to her. Never even come close. How am I supposed to explain this to her if I can't tell her the truth?" She stopped, feeling the eyes of somepony upon her.
"Are… are you alright, Diamond?" a unicorn filly asked.
"Just peachy. Can't you tell?" Diamond asked, glaring at the intruder. She snorted and resumed walking, leaving Dinky confused behind her.
By the time she had reached the library, Diamond Tiara had made her decision. She'd lie. It made her stomach feel uneasy, no matter how many times she told herself it was for the best of reasons, that she had to lie to save their friendship. Now she just needed to figure out what the lie was going to be by lunch. Not that she'd be hungry, not with this sinking feeling in her gut.
"You're four minutes late," Twilight said as Diamond opened the door.
It was going to be a long, bad day.
"Let me guess. You've got a crush on Alula," Silver Spoon said, leaning her head forward, ears twitching in anticipation of Diamond's acknowledgement. With one hoof, she smoothed the edge of the blanket upon which they lay.
Diamond Tiara nearly spit out her bite of sandwich. "What?" she said, not bothering to swallow her food first. She shook her head vehemently. "No. Just… no. She's just a friend, you know that."
"Rats. I was, like, totally sure that was it." She tilted her head at her friend and raised one eyebrow. "Are you sure you don't have a crush on her? 'Cause I'd totally be fine with that."
"I'm sure. Absolutely sure."
"Well, I guess it wouldn't have made much sense anyway. Why would you be working with the princess if you had a crush on somepony? Unless… It's not the princess, right?"
This time, Diamond did spit out her food. "Sil! She's like… old and stuff."
"Ah, there's the smile I was looking for." Silver Spoon winked and adjusted her glasses. "Now, you going to tell me what's really going on?"
Diamond Tiara focused her attention on a tree in distance. She breathed deeply, trying to calm her racing heart. This was the moment. She was going to lie to Silver Spoon. She opened her mouth, trying to force the first word out. If she could do that, she knew the rest of the lie she had chosen would follow. Nothing came out. Not again, she thought, but she knew that this was different. It didn't feel like when the artefact had stopped her. She closed her mouth, then tried to start her lie again. Nothing.
"Aaaah!" she screamed. "Snugglebunnies! Thrice-darned snugglebunnies!" She pounded her hooves upon the blanket.
Silver Spoon reached a hoof out to Diamond, placing it atop the pink filly's, until Diamond let her leg relax. "What's wrong?"
"There's something I want to tell you, but I can't. Like, I literally can't." Diamond Tiara raised a hoof to forestall Silver Spoon's reassurance that she could. "I'm scared, Sil. I'm not in control." She wrapped her hooves around Sil's hoof. I… I need you to know this: I'd tell you if there was any way ponily possible, but there just isn't. But I won't lie to you either. However this turns out, remember that. I never lied." She tightened her grip on the hoof. "You're my best friend, Sil, and I want us to be best friends forever, just like we swore."
Diamond moved forward and hugged the grey filly tightly, her head resting upon the Sil's mane. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes, and indeed, several fell before the perplexed Silver Spoon returned the hug and softly whispered, "Friends forever."
Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
"Why did you do that?"
The interruption caused Twilight to lose track of which stars' names she had already recalled. She contemplated picking up from a star she knew for sure she had already covered but decided not to. The partial cloud cover meant this really wasn't a good night for astronomy related activities anyway.
She turned her thoughts to the question. She doubted Diamond Tiara meant the star gazing, otherwise the question would probably have been in a different tense. No, it most likely had something to do with the art exhibit they were returning from. It had been a nice enough event, the type of thing she would have enjoyed quite a bit under ordinary circumstances. But things weren't normal right now.
Like everypony else, she was still adjusting to her new rank. The bowing, the use of the title, these events in honor, it all felt strange coming from ponies who had just a week prior treated her just like anypony else. And all these events… here she was only three days in and already she wished she could just spend a day or two in her lab or curled up with a good book or seven. She couldn't, of course. Not with how much it seemed to mean to everypony else. She couldn't let them down.
"What exactly?" Twilight asked.
"What you told the artist, the one eared one. He asked if you liked his work, and you complimented him on his choice of colors."
Twilight nodded. She recalled the event now. The painting had been a night scene, with a sky filled with spiral patterns. "The Friesian from Neighderland."
"Yeah, that one. I could tell you didn't really like the painting."
"Well, I did like the colors he used. And he really looked like he could use a kind word."
"But he isn't any good. I doubt he's even sold a single painting. Like, ever. And now he'll probably keep wasting his time trying."
Twilight could see how the filly's words made sense from a certain mindset, but it was not a mindset she would want to have. "What would you do if your friend, the one you had lunch with yesterday — Silver Spoon was it? — if she had painted that?"
"I'd tell her it looked like cat vomit."
Twilight stopped and looked closely at Diamond Tiara. "You'd tell her that?"
"It's the truth, isn't it? I mean, I could see lying if it wasn't a friend and you had something to gain. But Sil is my friend. She'd want the truth. And not just part of it. She'd want the whole thing."
"I guess I see it differently. He was just looking for a kind word, not a harsh criticism. It didn't cost me anything, and it made his day." Twilight resumed walking. They were almost at the library door when she spoke again. "And I really did like his use of colors."
Twilight looked up from her book to see Diamond stifling a yawn.
"Why don't you go home and get some sleep?" she said.
Diamond's head shot up and she shook her head. "I'm… I'm not really tired. Not sleepy at all." The words were followed by another barely stifled yawn.
Twilight smiled and tilted her head slightly. "Now who's lying? Don't you want to go home?"
The filly looked down at the floor, a slight blush of embarrassment coloring her features. "I… I had nightmares last night…"
"And you're afraid you'll have them again."
Diamond Tiara nodded.
"Well, do you want to talk about them? It might help." She got up and slowly turned in a circle, scanning the book shelves. "I'm sure I've got a book on the meaning of dreams. Under the new system it should be… there!" She pointed with her hoof and started to pull the book toward her with her magic.
"No!" Diamond cried out, startling Twilight and causing the book to go flying up into the air. "It's just that… I really don't want to talk about it." She looked away toward the window, before turning back to Twilight. "Look, I handle my own problems, okay? That's what strong ponies do. They don't go running to others when they need help." Picking up steam, she continued, "And besides, you're still up. What if you need help with something?"
Twilight examined the filly in front of her. No, she decided, there was definitely something going in in that little head. She cast a longing look at her book, sighed softly, and closed it. "Truth be told, I could use a break from reading," Twilight said She walked over to a cupboard and pulled open a drawer. She floated two decks of cards. "There's a card game I used to play with my brother. I could teach it to you, if you'd like."
Diamond's face lit up. "Do you play for bits?" she asked.
"I suppose you could, but we didn't. Well, we did play for who had to do what chores one week, but then our mother found out. Shining took all the blame, said it was his idea and wouldn't let me say otherwise, even though it really was mine. He knew I really wanted to go to the new science exhibit." Twilight laughed at the memory. She missed her brother at times. "So, anyway, no. We didn't gamble. Not after that."
"Oh," Diamond said. "So we could we play for bits?"
"Yes, I suppose we could." The filly's face lit up. "But we're not going to."
The ponies seated themselves at the table. Rapidly, Twilight explained the rules the game. Diamond listened intently, asking several questions about where the rules were not quite clear to her, as well as making several suggestions where she felt the rules could be improved. At last, when Diamond seemed satisfied with the rules, Twilight dealt each of them thirteen cards and the game began.
A couple of turns in, Twilight judged the time about right. Gently, she probed. "So about those nightmares," Twilight said.
"Don't want to talk about it," Diamond replied, frowning at her cards, before picking on and tossing it on the discard pile.
Twilight completed her turn, then pointed out to Diamond Tiara on hers that a run had to be from the suite. As Diamond grudgingly picked the cards up from the table, Twilight tried a second time. Again, Diamond rebuffed the question, though not as adamantly as before. Play continued, with Diamond becoming increasingly frustrated with her bad luck. Twilight herself held back, not playing as well as she could have, to ease the filly's frustration.
Again and again, Twilight brought up the nightmare subject, and slowly Diamond began to talk. A little at first, hesitantly, but then more under Twilight's careful questioning. Slowly, the nature of the dreams came out. Twilight praised herself as she drew a queen from the top of the stack. She could play it but decided to hold back, not wanting to put that many points on the table lest the further setback stop the filly from talking. Instead, she discarded a king and signaled to Diamond that it was her turn.
Diamond Tiara picked up the top card off the stack and smirked. Sliding it in amongst her cards, she rapidly rearranged them, then dropped them down onto the table in groups of three or four. "And I'm out," she said as she tossed her last remaining card on top of the discard pile, all signs of trouble wiped away completely.
Twilight sat stunned at the sudden reversal, letting her own cards fall to the table. Diamond looked them over, curious as to how many points Twilight had lost. "Ooh, queen of spades. That's, like, minus one hundred points, right? And you could have played it too. Not very smart."
Twilight frowned, a realization dawning upon her. "You played me," she said, waving her hoof at Diamond accusingly. "Distracted me, got me to hold back a bit, just to make it more likely you could win."
Diamond Tiara shrugged. "I'd already told you I didn't want to talk about it, so not my fault if you believed otherwise. Like I'd really be afraid of my friends turning on me. And besides," the filly said, giving a smug little smile, "you knew the game, so I needed every advantage I could get. I always play to win."
"I'll have to remember that." Twilight scooped the cards up with her magic, her eyes narrowing in concentration as she began rapidly shuffling them. "And now, as my friend Rarity is wont to say: 'It is on.' The horseshoes are off. No more Misses Nice Princess."
The expression of her competition's face was one of eager anticipation. Here was a foe who relished the challenge. "Bring it."
Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
A Pony from a Legend/A Pony with a Story.
"Can't we go out and bow one more time?" Diamond Tiara pleaded, giving the Princess of Friendship her best huge-eyed cute look, the one that always worked so well on her father. Rising on her rear legs, she raised her forelegs toward the curtain and the audience beyond. "Just listen to them out there, cheering for us."
"Us?" Twilight Sparkle asked, raising one eyebrow at her eager student. "I'm still not sure why you went out on stage with us. You weren't even in the recreation."
Diamond Tiara pulled back in shock. "That hurts, Twilight. Hurts deeply. I'm just as invested in this as you. Haven't I spent hours helping you get ready? Not to mention all the time spent learning your part as your understudy."
"Uh, Moondancer was my—-"
Diamond Tiara sighed and rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. Under-under-study. Self appointed, but you can never be too careful. The point is, we're a team. We belong together like Star Swirl and peanut butter sandwiches." She paused, stretching her neck toward the noise of the crowd. With a hoof, she gestured. "Just listen to them. They love us! They want us, we should go again."
"No," Twilight declared, putting her hoof down. "I've let you drag me out there two more times than I wanted already. I'm tired, and the only thing I want to do now is go home, get out of this dress, read a book for a bit, and get some sleep."
Diamond's face scrunched in disappointment for a second, before her eyes shot wide open. "Of course! Always leave them wanting more. I can't believe I nearly forgot that."
"No, that's not what I—-"
"You know, despite what some ponies say, you really aren't completely naive all of the the time."
Twilight gave a particularly tight area of her dress a quick tug. "Um, thanks?"
Diamond Tiara gave a suspicious look. "Or maybe you just let people think you are but really you aren't? That's it, isn't it? That's so diabolically devious!"
Twilight Sparkle stepped outside and gave her head a slight shake, but her disapproving gesture was offset by her slight smile. "I guess you'll never be sure, huh?" she said, giving her student a slight nudge. "Now, let's get you home, and while we walk, why don't you tell me what you've learned from your lessons today. Let's start with 'The Pony Who Cried Timberwolf'."
"Oh, that one was super obvious. Way too easy," Diamond Tiara uttered as she lifted her head with pride and practically pranced. "Never tell the same lie twice.
"Though, seriously, what were those adults thinking sending a little colt out to watch sheep all by himself. Timberwolves are dangerous! Of course he didn't want to gobbled, so no wonder he took the necessary steps to make sure he had adults nearby. And then they left him all by himself, and wouldn't you know it, he got gobbled right up, just showing how right he was. I hope the Princess threw the entire village into jail for that."
"But that's not the lesson!"
Ignoring Twilight, Diamond Tiara continued on, unimpeded. "And it was all so racist, too. I mean, sheep are... what's that word again? Senpient? Saypent? Anyway, whatever. They can, like, talk and everything, nearly as well as mules, and we let them be full citizens. Did the ponies think the sheep are so stupid that they couldn't watch out for themselves?"
Twilight frowned. "I suppose those are good points, but the lesson is still supposed to be that you shouldn't lie."
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "If you say so."
"I do," said Twilight Sparkle, applying all the authority and surety to her voice that she could. "And now let's talk about the second story. What did you think of the story 'The Frog and the Scorpion'?"
Diamond tilted her head, only straightening it once she'd gathered her thoughts. "I didn't like that one, not in the slightest. I mean, seriously, we're expected to believe the scorpion would sting the frog and drown himself?"
"But that's the whole point," Twilight protested.
"There's no way he'd be that stupid. I certainly wouldn't be. No," Diamond Tiara said, waving her hoof through the air as if to push the implausible idea away, "the answer is obvious. The story is wrong. The scorpion could obviously swim. It's the only thing that makes sense. After all, how else could the story even get out? Obviously the same scorpion told it after he swam to shore."
"It's just a fable, Diamond, not a true story," Twilight explained. "You're supposed to learn valuable lessons from them." She paused a second as an idea hit her. "And even if the scorpion could swim, the lesson is still there: don't trust something to act against its nature."
Diamond pursed her lips, before turning her head toward Twilight Sparkle. "Not that you shouldn't be sure you can swim before you sting?"
"No."
"So what you're saying is that we shouldn't trust Princess Luna?"
"What? No. That's completely different. Princess Luna was possessed, and that made her act against her better nature. She's all better now. She's no scorpion."
"Well, what about Discord then?"
"Discord?"
"He's your friend now, no? And he was, like, the worst ever."
"He swore he'd be good."
"Just like the scorpion." Diamond Tiara took a few more steps before stopping to ask a question. "How long before he stings us?"
Twilight stopped as well and pondered the question. No easy answer came to her, and so she shook her head and resumed walking, her young student at her side. It wasn't until they reached the gates of Rich Manor that Twilight spoke again.
"Redemption."
"Redemption?" Diamond Tiara asked.
"If we don't let ponies show they've changed, how can they? Treat somepony like a criminal, and that's what they'll always be. So we have to take a chance, for the good of society. It's an important tenet of our legal system.
"But—-" This time, Diamond Tiara was the one cut off.
"Yes, we shouldn't blindly trust. And to be honest, I don't trust Discord yet. I don't know if I'll ever fully trust him. But I am willing to give him a chance to earn my trust. Who knows, perhaps in time he'll be as welcome a sight in Ponyville as Princess Luna is. Once everypony gave her a chance, anyway.
"And as for the fables, they aren't rules so much as… guidelines. Some of them even contradict each other." Twilight giggled as a memory came to her. "I kept Princess Celestia up one night thanks to that. She'd had me read a book full of them, and as a result, I couldn't sleep until I'd figured out all the contradictions. I tried everything. Graphs, charts, and lists, nothing worked. So eventually I brought my work to the Princess after Spike threatened to burn all my notes if I woke him one more time. The sun rose fifteen minutes late that morning, I'd kept her up that long explaining things to me.
"Come to think of it, that was the last time she ever had me read any fables. Hmm. Why she did that makes much more sense now." Twilight Sparkle laughed, then gave her student a nudge through the gate. "Go on in and get some sleep. Tomorrow is another day of lessons. Since more fables are out, I'm thinking Powdered Wig's 'On Law and Justice' would be an excellent choice."
Diamond Tiara groaned. "That sounds... booooring. Can't you teach me how to use that Canterlot voice thing Luna does instead? That seems like it'd be way more useful."
An image of Diamond Tiara using the voice in Cheerilee's class popped into Twilight's mind, and she burst out laughing. Using her magic, she lifted Diamond's headpiece off, allowing her hoof to gently muss Diamond's mane. Settling the tiara back in its place, she said, "See you tomorrow, my student," turned, and headed toward her library home, wondering just what the filly would make of Powdered Wig's work.
Diamond Tiara and the Hand of Phoe
"I just don't see why this is necessary," Twilight said.
"Darling, these reenactments of your coronation are taking place all across Equestria. It is not every day that a new princess is crowned, so it is only natural that ponies want to see it. And since not every pony could travel to Canterlot to be there for the real thing, this is the next best thing. After all, it isn't like we have some magic box ponies could watch it on."
Twilight pondered the possibilities. Perhaps if she used Star Swirl's fifth law and combined it with Eisenhoof's theory of —.
"No," Rarity said, derailing Twilight's train of thought. "You were just thinking about how to make the magic box thing, right? Well, even if you could, it'd be too late. You've already been crowned, so unless you also made the box able to travel time, you'll still have to go through with it." Rarity frowned as Twilight's mind started to wander again. She reached out a hoof and gave her friend a light shove. "Oh no you don't, darling. The last time you messed with time, it took your mane a month to grow back." Rarity gave an involuntary shudder at the horror of it.
"I suppose you're right," Twilight conceded. "Besides, I don't think I could get all the items I would need in time anyway." She sighed. "I still don't get why ponies can't just be happy with what they've read the newspapers and magazines."
"Photos in a newspaper just don't do an event like this justice. They can't capture the true magic of the moment. And a movie, well, it just isn't the same thing as a live performance." Rarity paused to think. "Remember that first Summer Sun Celebration you went to? How much that meant to you? That was much better than reading about it, wasn't it?"
Twilight nodded, still remembering the first time she had seen Princess Celestia.
"For most ponies, this is the closest they'll ever get to something like that. A near brush with royalty. A chance to behold the splendor and majesty. And here it will be even more spectacular, since the role of you will be played by an actual princess."
"That's what I mean. Couldn't somepony else play me? Maybe Cloud Kicker? She knows all my lines, I'm sure."
"And get her to give up playing Princess Celestia, after she had her coat bleached just for the role?" Rarity asked, flipping her mane slightly. "Though I think she might be letting the role go to her head a bit. Telling people to 'worship my butt' indeed. As if the princess would even be capable of saying such a thing. Near scandalous that is." She brought her hoof down hard for emphasis. "Although it was funny the first time." She giggled. "Okay, the first couple of times."
Twilight scoffed. Cloud Kicker would be lucky if she wasn't locked up for the rest of her life if Princess Celestia heard of her actions, she thought. But then she stopped, wondering if Princess Celestia really would, or if she'd take joy in a pony who dared to treat her the same as if she was anypony else. No, she ultimately decided. Princess Celestia wasn't anypony else. She was Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria, the Diarch of the Dawn, the Herald of the East, the Bringer of Order, the Sister of the Sun, the Holder of a Thousand Titles. Twilight decided it would be best to take Cloud Kicker aside and warn her about the potential consequences of her actions. Decision made, she turned her attention back to Rarity, who had not stopped speaking, listing reasons why Twilight should do this.
"Besides, it comes with this complimentary makeover for two, and with the week I've been having, I need this. So if you won't do it for them, then do it for me?" Rarity looked pleadingly at Twilight.
Twilight sighed, then nodded. "Okay, fine. For you. I guess it's just that I'm not comfortable with all this attention yet. Before I moved to Ponyville, I was happy with just my family and my studies. And then I met all of you gals and I knew what I was missing. But this… this is something else, you know?
"Yesterday, Roseluck practically tied her tongue in a knot trying to figure out how to address me. She's usually in the library at least twice a week. We've spoken hundreds of times and she always has an opinion on things. And now she's treating me like I'm suddenly a different pony. She didn't even disagree with a single thing I said." Her frustration showed as she shoved the door, only barely managing to use her magic avert a loud collision with the wall inside. "Can't they understand that I'm the same as always?" Twilight said, her wings flaring out. "Okay, maybe not the quite the same. But I'm still me." She folded her wings and stepped through the doorway, followed by Rarity.
Inside, the chatter died away, as ponies noticed who who had entered. For a second, there was silence before it was broken by ponies scrambling to bow to the princess. Twilight sighed, turning to Rarity. "See what I mean?"
Rarity placed her hoof on Twilight's shoulders and spoke softly into Twilight's ear. "They're just adjusting. That's all, Twi. This is all new to them too, you know. Before you came here, no princess had ever come to Ponyville. Now we have one living here, and they aren't sure how to act."
"I just want them to behave like they always did," Twilight whispered back, before turning to address the still bowing ponies. "Please, everypony, there's no need for this. I'm just here to get my mane done, same as you."
"Now be sure she takes those curlers out in half an hour," Rarity said to Diamond Tiara. "Don't let her get so enthralled by a book or some experiment that she forgets." She paused. "Actually, don't let her run any experiments."
Diamond Tiara nodded dutifully before closing the door behind the departing unicorn.
"Lock it please, Diamond," Twilight asked. "I just want to read a book for a bit."
Diamond froze. She looked back at Twilight, who was already curling up with a book. With a shrug, Diamond did as Twilight had asked. With the door locked, it meant nopony coming in and making work for her. She plopped down on the chair she had claimed as hers and resumed reading the romance book she had started reading earlier.
Half an hour later, Diamond Tiara slid off the chair she'd been sitting on and called out, "Time." With deft movements, she removed the curlers from Twilight's mane, then took a few steps back to look at the results.
"Well, how do I look?" Twilight asked, while Diamond continued her critical appraisal.
"I'm not sure if I'd have gone with that color of blush or that particular manestyle," Diamond said, as she circled slowly around Twilight. "Though I suppose your coat coloration does somewhat limit options," Diamond Tiara continued. She rubbed her chin in thought, before rendering her final judgement. "It's not bad at least, though it could definitely have been better."
Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Diamond."
"Huh?" Diamond said. Ponies didn't normally react this way when she told them a harsh truth.
"Besides my friends, you're one of the few in town that doesn't seem to have let these" —she pointed at her wings— "impact how they treat me."
"Well, duh. You're just the town librarian."
"If only others could see that," Twilight said, her head hanging lower. "It's all bowing and scraping. Can I get this, Your Highness? Princess this and that. Pointing at me when I'm walking around town and near fainting when I ask them something. Like they haven't ever seen or spoken to me before. You can't imagine what it is like, Diamond."
When no response came from the filly, Twilight lifted her head up to see Diamond sitting there, staring dreamily into space, a huge smile on her face as she swayed slightly from side to side.
"No, you definitely can't imagine it," Twilight said again, shaking her head sadly. "Still, to you I'm who I was before. That's something, at least. I just hope the others come to see that as well. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. If nothing else, thank you for that." Diamond made no reply, still lost in her daydream.
Twilight glanced at the clock. It was time to go. She brought her hoof down on the floor, the sound snapping Diamond out of her reverie. "Come on, Diamond. Time to go. My subjects await their princess."
Diamond frowned slightly at the hint of sadness of Twilight's voice.
