Chapter 1: Damn You Stephenie Meyer
“So... are we going to knock?”
“I dunno. Why don’t you do it, Shy?”
“Well, um, why don’t you try... if you want to?”
Rainbow Dash glared at Fluttershy, who timidly glanced away. Rolling her hoofs, she nonchalantly knocked on the front door of the library. “Yo, Twi, you in there? Haven’t seen you for a few days, and me and the rest of the girls are worried.”
Hurried footsteps from inside quickly made their way to the door. The sound of various locks being unlatched followed suit, ending with Spike peeking out with the door slightly ajar. “Oh, hey you guys. Twilight is unavailable at the moment.”
“What do you mean unavailable? We haven’t seen her in two weeks!” Dash argued, moving her hoof in the door’s path so it wouldn’t close.
“Yeah, well, there’s been certain... complications,” Spike said, vaguely waving his hand. “Which have prevented her from speaking to all of you.”
“What, she couldn’t have sent a letter or something?” Dash asked, pushing her hoof further to make the door entryway larger.
Doing his best to keep the door from opening any further, Spike said, “Listen, it’s not what you think. Twilight is just a bit under the weather and can’t really see anyone else right now.”
“Not even her friends?” Fluttershy asked, peeking into the dimly lit library as well. “Is Twilight going to be okay? Does she need a doctor?”
Spike was literally on his last leg as he tried to stop the impatient Rainbow Dash from getting inside. “No, she just needs peace and relaxation!” Spike implored, his toenails digging into the wooden floor. But it was no use, and Spike end up squashed against the wall by the door as Rainbow Dash made her way inside.
"Hey, Twi, come out here already!" Rainbow called out, searching vainly for her friend in the gloom. The curtains were drawn on the windows and the lights were off inside, with barely enough illumination to see your hoof in front of your face. "And turn a light on for Pete's sake!"
"Leave me..." a voice sounded in the shadows.
"Twilight, knock it out with the creepy loner stuff," Rainbow said with a roll of her eyes, going to the windows to draw the curtains back. "Fluttershy, can you help me lighten up the place?"
"Sure."
"No!" Twilight shouted, her visage appearing in the dim light for a brief second.
"Or not," Fluttershy muttered, backing away from the open doorway. Spike's faint muffles could still be heard from behind the door on the wall.
"No light may enter here," Twilight hissed, scuttling in the darkness like an insect. She pressed herself against the back corner of the room, where the shadows were greatest. "Close the door!"
"Um... Shy, help here?" Dash called out to her friend. With an audible gulp, Fluttershy went over to the door and closed it hesitantly. Twilight sighed with relief once the door was safely latched shut. Spike slid to the ground, his leg twitching slightly.
In a flash, Twilight appeared by Rainbow Dash's side, her mouth inches away from her face.
"Why are you guys here?" Twilight hissed.
Scrunching her muzzle, Dash pushed Twilight's face away from her own with a hoof. "Every pony is worried about you, Twi. You haven't left home in almost a week. What's up with that?"
Twilight scowled, back-pedaling slightly away from Dash. "That is... neither of your concerns," she muttered, circling around the pair with an almost predatory hiss.
"But Twilight, we only want to help," Fluttershy said, a small bead of sweat sliding down the back of her neck. "Staying cooped up all day isn't healthy..."
"Oh, I still get out," Twilight assured them. "Just at night now. The sun is unhealthy for me at the moment."
"Say what now?" Dash asked, squinting slightly.
"I just said--"
"Yeah, I got that. Just don't get the why part."
"Maybe Twilight really is under the weather," Fluttershy suggested. Spike groaned in agreement.
Dash sighed and rubbed her brow with a hoof. "Listen, Twi, can we please turn a light on? It's weird trying to hold a conversation in the dark."
Suddenly, the lights came back on with a flash. Twilight practically shrieked, then leapt under the table with impossible speed. Her angry glare was directed at Spike now, her eyes red tinged instead of their usual purple.
By the light switch, Spike shrugged. "What? She asked nicely."
Dash peered under the table. "Seriously, Twi, stop messing around and tell us what's up? Is this another one of your 'episodes?'"
"No, it's just... well, it's hard to explain."
"Twilight, I'm sure we'll understand," Fluttershy assured her, joining Dash in looking under the table at their friend.
Twilight groaned, but finally willed herself to leave the table's protection. Out in the light where both her friends could see her, she looked at them sadly.
"Girls... I'm a vampire now," she stated simply, avoiding eye contact with either of them.
"... Yeah, you lost me again," Dash said, her worry turning to skepticism.
"Are you talking about those monsters that ponies dress up as on Nightmare Night?" Fluttershy asked fearfully.
"No, I'm an actual vampire!" Twilight persisted rather bitterly "I got bitten by one while out in the Everfree Forest one night, and now I'm infected by its vampiric plague!"
"Wait, wait, hold up here," Dash said with a wave of her hoof. "What exactly were you doing late at night in the Everfree Forest?"
"I was most certainly not having a secret relationship with any inhabitant of the forest, if that's what you're thinking," Twilight said, blushing ever-so-slightly. "And it definitely wasn’t a zebra, for that matter! I was doing research for... plants! That's right, plants. Spike can back me up on this."
Twilight glanced at her assistant. Spike bulged under the collective scrutiny of the three ponies. Their combined stares finally broke the dragon, who went with the wise plan of jumping out the window instead of telling falsehoods in front of others.
"I regret nothing!" he shouted on his exit, glass and a small body falling to the ground being heard on the other side. This was followed by muffled curses and a leg being dragged in the dirt.
"...Okay then," Dash muttered, returning her attention back to Twilight. "That still doesn't explain why exactly you think it was a vampire that bit you."
"Does this look like it could come from any other animal?" Twilight asked, revealing the two still-fresh puncture wounds on her neck.
Fluttershy squinted slightly as she inspected the bite mark. "A snake could have made this."
"Could a snake jump out from the trees, catch me by surprise, bite my neck and then steal my wallet when it escapes?”
“Um… yeah. All except the wallet part.” Fluttershy tilted her head to the side. “Where would you even keep one…?”
“That’s not the point,” Twilight replied, glaring at the faint sunlight peaking through the cracked remains of the window Spike just made on his exit. “Through careful research I have deciphered I am definitely of a vampiric nature now. I am able to see clearly in near darkness, have grown a set of molars in my gumline that are best described as fangs, I constantly have a thirst for blood, and when I tried to eat some of Spike’s delicious ravioli I nearly set my mouth on fire from the garlic inside.”
Rolling her eyes, Dash jerked on Twilight’s tail with her teeth and pulled the meek unicorn from beneath the table. Twilight squeaked, trying to get a grip on the floor with her hooves and failing.
Setting her on the carpet, Dash stuck her hoof in Twilight’s face and said, “That’s it, no more miss nice mare!” Gripping Twilight’s cheeks in her hooves, Dash shook her head vigorously. “Twilight, you aren’t a vampire! You’re making a big deal out of a snake bite, which I might add could be poisonous and you should definitely be more worried about that than being a vampire! Snap out of it and return back to normal!”
Fluttershy nudged Dash’s shoulder with a hoof. “Um, Dash, I don’t think shaking Twilight and yelling at her like that will solve anything.”
Dash stopped shaking Twilight's head and thought for a moment. “Should I slap her too?”
Twilight’s mouth opened wide, a pair of fangs glistening in the light as she tried to bite down on Dash’s hoof. Rainbow managed to pull back her hoof just in time, and Twilight's fangs snapped on open air.
Grimacing, Dash said, “Ewwwww, you nearly bit me with your fake fang teeth! What’s wrong with you?”
“There aren’t fake, they’re real!” Twilight told them, pointing to the razor sharp canines in her mouth. “I swear, they are!”
Fluttershy backed away from Twilight. “Twilight, maybe we should–”
“End this stupidity right now,” Dash finished for her, dragging the surprised Twilight to the door by her tail. “Shy, get the door!” Dash muttered through a mouthful of tail.
“No, please! The sunlight will destroy me!” Twilight begged, biting down on the wooden floor in a feeble attempt to slow herself down, and ending up with a mouthful of splinters.
Fluttershy complied, holding the door open wide while hiding on the other side. Holding Twilight’s tail over her shoulder, Dash spoke over her shoulder, “Okay Twi, you asked for it! We're doin' this the hard way! Hey, maybe some sun will do you good.”
With that, Rainbow hefted Twilight and spun her around to pick up momentum, until finally Dash let go. Twilight streak through the air to land outside, the sun instantly hitting her coat.
“Oh dear Celestia, I’m burning up!” Twilight screamed, thrashing on the ground. “The sun is burning me to a crisp! Please, somepony, help!” Twilight continued to roll on the ground for a full minute, until it eventually dawned on her she wasn’t, in fact, burning at all.
“Um… Twi,” Dash said, her jaw hanging low. “You’re… you’re…”
“Sparkling,” Fluttershy said in awe, her eyes widening at the sight before her.
Blinking, Twilight got to her hooves and inspected herself. She was indeed sparkling, with little specks of dancing on her coat like glitter on a lavender birthday card.
She stared at her prettily sparkling hooves for a moment, then got down on them and shouted up to the heavens, “Seriously? Out of every vampire I could have been made into, it had to be an uncool one? Why, why is this happening to me?”
“Who is she talking to?” Fluttershy whispered to Dash. Dash just circled a hoof around her temple.
As Twilight cried into her hooves, still sparkling like a Hearth's Warming decoration, Rainbow trotted over to her and patted her on the back reassuringly. “Come on Twilight, don’t be so gloomy,” Dash said, holding back a smirk. “Hey, at least your name finally fits!"
Twilight looked up with a disapproving scowl and muttered under her breath, “Twilight bucking Sparkle. Yeah Dash, that really helps.” Dash promptly exploded into a laughing fit.
