Chaos is a funny thing if you think about it. On a universal level Chaos helps keep this, and many other galaxies, working happily. A meteorite full of bacteria slams into a rock that’s just far enough from the sun for those bacteria to grow and thrive into life forms? Let’s just say harmony doesn’t call the shots there.
On the smallest scale imaginable, I.E. your daily lives, chaos keeps life interesting.
It rains on your wedding day? Chaos.
You fall from a skyscraper and luckily fall into a pool of Jell-O? Chaos.
You find a bag of bits on the floor? That’s not Chaos, that’s petty theft and you should turn those bits over to a guard station you thief.
Even though you think your harmony is the boss around here and everywhere else it’s chaos that’s the workhorse of the galaxy. Oh, sure your princesses put chaos on the down low and put the silly idea in your tiny pony heads that harmony runs the universe, fortunately and unfortunately it only does in this world. You might think that is a good thing, but you’d be wrong.
You see, what’s so wrong about harmony is that there is no progression with it ; Harmony thinks that because it’s the best solution to the problem you don’t need to search for something better or more efficient to replace it. Look at you ponies, I’ve been a statue for a thousand years and do you change a thing? Do you improve yourselves to make your lives easier and better?
No. No you do not.
Daddy’s been doing it longer than anyone, going from one side of the universe to another, doing what he does best: creating entropy so there can be order with it. That’s what he always told me, you can never go so crazy that there is no order. ‘Because without order to balance chaos, very bad things happen’ or so he tells me now. Ya, like I’d listen to the guy that went nuts and tried to drown Equestria in Chaos like five times…
Oh I’m sorry, when a girl’s getting her monologue on she usually forgets to introduce herself. The name’s Eris, daughter of Discord and an agent of chaos, or ‘agent of chaos in training’ as daddy calls me. You know, being basically chaos incarnate you’d think the old man would be a little less strict in the whole parenting department. But nooooo, as soon as he helps me get out of my stone prison its rules, rules, rules.
‘Eris, you can’t turn that pony into a gummy bear,’ or ‘Eris, don’t knock the planet out of orbit just because you think it’s too hot’. I mean, if you just move it a few freakin’ miles from where the stupid thing was in the first place it would make it at least ten degrees cooler in the summer for goodness sake!… But that’s a big no no because it would upset the ‘order’ of things.
I swear that being in my stone prison was more fun..
Sunbutt just makes him worse too, always bugging him to help her little pony subjects and keeping me from having any fun. And don’t get me started with the one that ‘reformed’ him, yellow quiet, or something like that, I’m not great with names. I hate how she’s such a goodie-too-shoes-I’m-so-good-and-sweet-and-happy-that-I-make-Eris-wanna-throw-up all the time.
I swear if she tries to be my friend one more time I’m going to turn her into a balloon animal, a tiger I think, maybe just a snake..... ya definitely a snake. I mean it’s hard to magic a pony into a balloon and then you have to do all of those twisty- Opps, getting off topic.
Separate, they’re just annoying, but together they form one super parent. Their power? To bug the heck outta me twenty-four seven.
From what I’ve been told its ol’ Eris’s turn to be reformed, like I did anything wrong!
Okay..... maybe I shouldn’t have sunken that city, or turned Canterlot into a bouncy house, twice, but the first one was an accident and Sunbutt deserved the second! NO ONE tells me that I’m a pain in the flank and gets away with it!
So, here I am in Canterlot, ignoring my dad and his little yellow girlfriend while we sit in some rinky dink coffee shop. Taking a sip of my double mocha latte I looked around the little shop to see that the place was now dead. Apparently when your shop has the god of chaos in it your business takes a hit.
Anywho, there I was, trying to look like I was paying attention to what my dad and yellow quiet were saying. Heavy emphasis on ‘trying’, as I was actually trying not to blow the place up. But hey, I was giving the whole civil thing the good ol’college try, like a frat boy who hasn’t been to class in the last five months but tries to pass his finals by YOLOing it.
“Oh this is lovely.” Yellow quiet whispered, sipping her stupid green tea, I mean, for goodness sakes, Tea?! We’re in a coffee shop! Get some bucking coffee for Chaos’s sake!
Snarling, I tried to get up to get out of this stupid store, or to at least tell the yellow horse in front of me off. But, like always lately, dad decided to ruin my fun. Annoyed, he snapped his claw, his magic forcing me to sit back down as he turned toward the little winged pony.
“Fluttershy, dear, if you’ll excuse me and my daughter for a second, I need to have a little talk with her.”
Before she could answer he snapped his claw again, and in the blink of an eye we were both teleported on top of a mountain. I don’t know about dad, but long range teleportation really messes with my stomach.
Clenching the poor thing, I looked up dad. “Dad, what the buck was that about?” I asked him, who was looking down at me with a disapproving look, his arms crossed.
As he stared at me I looked up at him with all the defiance I could muster, the two of us continuing in a stare-off until he broke it, closing his eyes and sighing. “Eris, what am I going to do with you? Fluttershy was just trying to be frien-”
“I don’t care!” I snarled, crossing my arms. “I’m sick of her, I’m sick of those too-perfect-for-you princesses, and most of all I’m sick of you!” Floating upward so we were face-to-face I continued, unable to keep the scorn out of my voice. “You were chaos itself, you were feared, and look at you now; bitch to a little yellow mortal.”
In retrospect, calling your more powerful dad who can bend the world to his will a bitch might have been a bad idea.
He didn’t even have to snap his claws this time; I could feel the power coming off him as he snarled at me. In a totally brave, and not at all cowardly way, I tried to tactically withdraw from dad’s presence. But, like with most things lately- boy I’m saying that a lot- he ruined that too and for the second time in my life I felt my body becoming petrified.
I wouldn’t lie to ya; I may have panicked a little, trying to use any magic at my disposal. But it was like a house of cards trying to stand up during a hurricane. At least he didn’t turn my head into stone…
“What the hay, dad?!” I yelled with a tiny bit of panic in my voice, looking up at my old man. Boy was that a bad idea…
You know when you get your parent so angry that he/she’s form basically drinks in the light, and their eyes also happen to be glowing with anger and malice? Ya, me too.
“Eris” Dad said, voice booming with power.
Oh great, here’s the ‘I’m the parent yada-yada-yada speech’
“You were released from your imprisonment so that you could learn what Chaos truly is.”
My ears perked up.
“It is a lesson that, even for as long as I have been in existence, I only recently learned.”
I flinched as I felt him place a claw on top of my head, expecting was going to see work as a lawn ornament in a couple of seconds. Luckily, that wasn’t the case. When I finally looked at him, I wasn’t working up the courage to do so or anything, I saw something I hadn't expected.
Instead of the angry, super powered being of chaos that he was moments before, I saw someone that almost couldn’t look at me. You know, when someone has regret in their eyes like ‘I made you the way you are and now I feel super bad about it’ look. I would of bad mouthed dad about that too but I didn’t want to push my luck, being a statue really sucks.
“Chaos cannot and should not rule over everything.” Dad said, using a claw a brush a bit of hair from my eyes. “Chaos should be used for balance, not be better than, not to change anything in this world or any other, but for balance. Do you understand, Eris?”
Now, for some reason, I couldn’t look dad in the eye. Why? Maybe his little speech struck a chord with me, maybe I was on my way to being a good, upstanding citizen… Eh, probably not, but here’s to hoping right?
“And as beings of Chaos need something to balance us out.” Boy, dad was really on a roll today huh? “I found that in Fluttershy, the ‘little yellow mortal’ as you call her. You need to find somepony like that or you’ll fall even farther into darkness than you already are.”
I snorted. Now I could look my dad in the eyes. He should've known that that speech bullshit wasn’t going to work with me. “Puff, whatever, are you going to let me out now?”
Dad sighed and rolled his eyes. “Eris, if you don’t at least try you’ll be a statue again in a few weeks.”
If I could move my arms they would be crossed so hard an eagle’s heart would have exploded just by seeing the awesomeness that was my scornful, cross-armed technique,. Why an eagle you ask? Because buck you that’s why. “You know I’d take you more seriously if you didn’t have that stupid goatee. What are you, the god of chaos or a porn star ya-”
You know, even though I’m awesome and kinda-sorta- pretty much perfect in every aspect of everything ever, I mayyyy have an imperfection or two. Like forgetting my dad could do pretty much anything that he wants to. What can I say? My short term memory isn’t the greatest.
Before I could finish my scathing remark, dad reached down and plucked my mouth off of my face. Cut off from my sentence, and unable to do anything about it, all I could do was glare. Forget what I said about the arm-crossing thing before, if I could move my arms I would have given dad the bird so hard that a school that teaches chipmunks to sing, the little high pitch buggers inside of course, would've exploded from my righteous fury.
Don’t look at me like that, metaphors are hard…Or is it hyperbole? I don’t know, I’m not the best in that grammar stuff, that’s the author’s job… or the editor’s.
Alright, so, there I was, all but my head turned to stone and without a mouth, looking up at my slightly smirking farther. Fun, fun, fun!
“Now,” dad said in that stupid, stupid tone now coming out of his throat, “since you’re being a pain in the flank in every aspect of the word, I’m going to give you a little… push.”
Now my look of righteous anger was replaced with concern. I did NOT like the sound of that.
“Since everypony that’s tried to befriend you has been driven away by your OH SO delightful personality,” Go buck yourself with a cactus old man “I’m just going to have to outsource a friend for you, maybe that’ll calm you down.” Buckyoubuckyoubuckyou!
As I was mentally cursing him, dad put a claw to his chin, playing with that stupid goatee as he thought over the horrible things he was going to force me to do.
Not like that you weirdo! He’s my dad for Chaos’s sakes!
Eventually he snapped his claws, a lightbulb appearing above him. “And I think I have just the guy to do it!”
Wait, what?
Since asking what the hay he was talking about was impossible at the moment, all I could do was watch as dad teleported away, leaving me stranded on top of a mountain, still turned to stone, and without a mouth.
Did I mention I hated my dad? Because I do, I really, really do.
It wouldn’t have been that bad if he just left me there for a few minutes, but noooooo, my dick dad had to leave me for five motherbucking hours! FIVE HOURS! Let me put that into perspective, imagine you couldn’t move for four hours, then add an hour on top of that. That was the boring hell I was forced into.
Did I see anything other than rocks you might be asking yourself? Nope, just rocks-bucking rocks. And let me tell you, rocks do not ‘rock’ after looking at them for, like, forever. Now don’t think I was sitting there metaphorically twiddling my thumbs, the whole time I sat there I brooded, pondering about what I was going to say to the old man when he got back.
Let’s just say it was going to be an ear full if he was stupid enough to give me my mouth back. Most of the conversation would have revolved around how stupid he looked with his goatee. That would've happened too, but daddy went and ruined that when he teleported back with an very, very angry human.
Now, to those who don’t know that a human is: go and read a book you dummy. If you know what a human is then there is no reason to tell you about this one, they kinda all look the same anyway.
...But I don’t want to tell them about what the human looks like!
...No I don’t care about the plot…Hehe, plot
...*sigh* fine.
This human looked a little different from others I’d seen. Unlike the dark-skinned, loincloth wearing tribesmen I saw the last time I was on their charming little planet. Which is a great place to visit by the way; those guys know how to do chaos right. First thing was the cloth’s that pretty much covered his whole body.
Another thing was that he was really, really pale, with the weirdest blue eyes that I’ve ever seen,. Like they were so blue that they kinda looked purple. A bit of black hair on his head and chin completed the human’s facial features. Continuing down, it looked like the guy worked out I guess, it was kinda hard to tell with him thrashing around, trying to get out of my dad’s grip.
Looking at my old man I couldn’t help to mentally chuckle, boy did he look beat up. His snout was bloody and he was sporting a shiner on one of his eyes. It looked like the human put up a bit of a fight. I didn’t know this guy, but if he punched my dad in the face, he’s alright in my book.
“Put me down demon!” The human roared at my annoyed dad, trying to bite the claw that was holding him by the scruff of the neck. The creature had all the recklessness of the noble and terrifying honey badger .
Grumbling to himself about mortals, dad let go of him, the human now floating in the air, struggling against the impossible situation he was in. “Eris, meet, Aulus, Aulus meet, Eris. He’s the one that’s going to help you reform!”
I watched in delight as the human took off his shoe and threw it at dad, the Draconequus dodging it with a sigh. “Aulus, be a good boy and stop throwing things at me please, I’d appreciate it.” Keep doing it I savagely thought as Aulus tried to take his other shoe off; a ‘I’m going to buck you up’ look in his eyes.
Too bad for him dad already had a claw around his throat, bringing the defiant human so close they touched noses. “Boy,” dad growled, his eyes glowing angrily, “I understand that you might not be happy right now with your situation, but be warned: I am Discord the god of chaos. I am as old as time itself and my power is beyond understanding, and I swear to chaos if you throw that shoe at me I’m going to make your last minutes on this earth as painful as possible, are we clear?”
Way to hype yourself up dad. I thought with no small amount of amusement as Aulus narrowed his eyes. “God of Chaos?” He said, his arm lowering slowly.
Dad nodded his head once, a smirk slowly appearing on his face. “Yes, a God of Chaos.”
“And what in the hell does a God of Chaos want with me?” I might be used to my dad but even I thought his whole ‘I can murder you with the snap of my claw’ thing was a little bit scary and this human wasn’t even fazed, what was the bucking deal about that?
The little annoying smirk that my dad likes to wear was widening. “Well, my good fellow, I’ve heard from a little birdy of mine you’re quite a realist.”
“Sure…” The human answered in a hesitant voice. You know, now that I think about it, why wasn’t he flipping out being in a new world?
“Like you see there’s no way for you to escape me right now so you’ve given up.”
The human’s eyes narrowed and the arm holding his shoe raised back up. “Are you mocking me, because god of chaos or not, I’ll happily fuck your day up with this size ten Jordan.”
Dad shook his head. “Nonono! You misunderstand me, Aulus; I mean that in the best possible terms. There are humans that would hate me just because I am different from them, heck, most humans would be terrified that they were teleported into a brand new word, but you’re different; you dislike me because I woke you up from a nap.,”
“It was a fucking good nap…” Aulus muttered, my dad ignoring him as he continued.
“And you could care less about coming to this world. I mean, you might care, but right now there’s no way for you to go home. And you’ve accepted that. You don’t judge my daughter or I because we’re different. Because to you we’re no different from the next John or Sally out there.”
The human seemed to notice that yours truly was in his presence. Turning his head he looked at me, probably too awestruck at my beauty to do anything but-
“Your daughter? So you that mean that’s a girl?”
…Never mind all the good things about that human, he can to jump off a cliff for all I care. I mean come on! How can’t you tell I’m a girl? Was he blind or something?
Faceclawing, dad muttered something I couldn’t hear before turning the human. “Yes, Eris is a girl. She’s also going to be your new roommate!”
WHAT?!
Apparently Aulus was ‘Mr. Un-phaseable’ because he just looked a little confused. “Excuse me?”
Clasping a claw on his shoulder and smiling, dad answered, “Yep, you see my lovely daughter here needs someone in her life that can straighten her out and calm her down. I think you’d be just the guy for that!”
“And what if I don’t want to do it?” Aulus asked. Buck this guy, as if I’d want to be your stupid friend anyway!
That got my dad’s grin to come back. “You don’t have a choice!” he happily told him, clapping his hands together gleefully like a sissy. Boy, as if it wasn’t bad enough with everything else going on, dad still managed to embarrass me in front of a boy…. Not that I cared or anything…
Aulus opened his mouth and then closed it, “Well shit.” The weirdo then shrugged. “It’s not like I can do anything about it, right?”
Dad shook his head, a big, stupid smile on his face. “Nope.” With a snap of his claws the human was teleported away, hopefully to a tank full of hungry sharks. And no, I’m not overreacting in the slightest. If a man can’t tell a girl is a girl then he deserves the whole ‘hell hath no fury’ thing for a little while.
You know what I’m talking about, right ladies?
Dad turned back over to me. Boy did I want to hit him when I saw that triumphant smirk. Floating over to me and pinching my cheek, which I always hated by the way, the flankhole said, “Alright, Eris, I did my part, now you have to do the rest. Try to be nice to the human will you?”
Two things kept me from trying to give the whole ‘villain says you can’t defeat me and the hero says I do want I want’ thing. One, obviously, was that I didn’t have a mouth. Two, and this is still pretty easy to guess, I couldn’t move or use magic; so a ‘buck you dad’ sign made of smoke couldn’t be utilized.
I know that the human couldn’t tell if I was a girl or not but his parents probably dropped him on his head when he was little, so from the goodness of my heart I was willing to forgive him for that, if he apologized.
What can I say? I’m a forgiver.
He probably wasn’t that bad of a guy, heck he gave my dad a black eye and I don’t know about you but that’s a good impression in my book. I can see it now: the human trying, and failing, not to worship me for the awesome person that I am. I, in my greatness, would take the poor mortal’s worship with openhandedness: getting the dear to tell me a about himself so he would think that I cared, as he fed me grapes while I sat on my throne of greatness.
Yep, I could see it now…
Eh, even if it doesn’t happen exactly like that, it’ll still be nice to have someone to talk to who isn’t my dad. Being an agent of chaos might be sweet and all, but it really hurts your chance of not terrifying anypony. And buck the people my dad was trying to get me to be buddy-buddy with. Well, this human was one of those, but this was different, he was a human. A being that naturally loves chaos. So he would probably be better than some pony right?
I watched my dad get ready to snap his claws to send me chaos knows where and I couldn’t help but feel just a teeny-tiny little bit excited as I heard the snap, feeling the stomach-churning sensation that was teleporting as I blinked. The next millisecond I felt my body hit something soft.
Keeping my eyes closed, I felt around to feel what I saw laying on. Bed, that’s good so far, I thought as I noticed that I could now move. “Sweet!” I all but yelled, excited that I had my talker back. Well, looks like this day is finally looking up for me!
Boy was I wrong. Oh so wrong.
Opening an eye, I noticed a Foal Fighters poster on one of the walls. Turning my head, I saw what looked to be the nightstand from my room, the covers on the bed also looked familiar. So using my amazing detective skill I concluded, for some reason, I was still in my room.
Stretching my stiff body and happily sighing as I felt bones popping, I muttered, “Huh, I was expecting more from the old man. At the very least I thought he’d-”
“Oh, there you are.” A mysterious voice said from across my room.
Keeping my calm and rolling out of my bed like a ninja/superhero/super ninja, totally not yelping in fright and falling out of my bed, I looked around for the intruder. My claw of death ready to snap him/her into oblivion, or at least turn them into a balloon animal. Did I mention I really dig balloon animals? Because I really, really do.
I saw it wasn’t a big hulking rapist ready to have a go, just that human, sitting on an odd looking couch. He was looking at me with the most bemused expression than I had ever seen on another being.
Now, before we go any further let ol’ Eris tell you about what her room usually looks like. It’ll give you a view of how someone this awesome functions, so take notes kids.
Like most of the un-awesome and boring populace, I have a bed, a nightstand, a closet, a few posters, all that jazz. A few special touches make it better than yours though. For one, I have a bathroom/bedroom combo.Then there’s the size of it. Not to brag, but most pony’s living rooms are smaller than the mistress of chaos and greatness’s place of slumber.
Now, you might be thinking to yourself: Eris, that’s not such a big deal, I have the same set-up. Well, if you do, go sit in your corner while the adults are talking and put your dunce hat back on,. And I’m not done yet with the summing up of the greatness of my bedchambers. Since I couldn’t decide on what color I wanted it, my room changes into a plethora of colors, awesome right? Sure beats the heck outta plain old white.
Now, I told you what my bedroom usually looked like so I can tell you what it looks like now.
Don’t panic, all of that stuff was still there; thank goodness, but it was all of the new stuff that threw me off. I’ll put it as simply as I can without hurting your little brain. Somehow it looked like my room was just put together with someone else’s room, probably the human’s that was looking at me on the couch.
Unlike my room, the other half of- what was his name? Aules? Alues? Bob, it was probably Bob. So anyways, Bob’s half of the room looked as boring as you could imagine. White walls, a brown nightstand, and a lamp and a couch with some black square looking thing that was on top of a stand in front of a black couch that had a mini fridge next to it.
The human raised his eyebrow, probably in awe at my ninja jump off my bed. “Are you alright?” Phush, men.
After not nervously coughing, and straightening myself, I answered, “Ya, ya, I’m fine.”
Smiling, Bob nodded, making himself more comfortable on his couch. He patted an empty space beside him. “Good, so come on, let’s buddy-buddy with each other over some Game of Thrones, you just need to help me find the remote.”
Even though I had no idea what the hay ‘Game of Thrones’ was I floated over and sat next to the human, who handed me a can of something before he went back to looking for his ‘remote’. “Eris was you name right?”
You can’t tell that I’m a girl but you remember my name? I thought before giving him a big fake smile, making sure he saw my fangs. I might want to be this guy’s friend but messing with him wasn’t a no-no. “Yep, that’s me, and you are?...”
Looking up at me for just a second, Bob grabbed my griffin claw and gave it a shake before he went back to couch diving. “Nice to meet ya, I’m Aulus.” Okay, I guess it’s Aulus…
Slightly annoyed at being ignored, I tried to keep the conversation going. “Aulus huh? That’s a pretty interesting na-”
“There it is!” the human shouted, pulling out this small square colorful looking thing, holding it to his face, looking at it sternly. “You gave daddy quite the scare.”
Watching the slightly creepy scene unfold before me and forgetting the can of… whatever it was in my paw, I told him what I thought. Completely forgetting that I was trying to be nice I might add. “Are you bucking serious right now?”
“I don’t know what kicking has to do with finding my remote. Now…” Clicking one of the button-looking things Aulus turned his head toward the big black thing. I watched in mild panic as what looked to be a portal appeared.
“W-What the hay is that!” I asked as I scrambled off the couch and away from the big teleporter. Was this weirdo human trying to suck me into some random world? Well I was about to show him that this Draconequus wasn’t going to go down without a fight! Or I would’ve, if Aulus didn’t looked so confused.
“A T.V?” When he saw that I was still confused, he explained further. “It’s a projection thingy that lets humans watch stuff like movies,”
“…Movies?” I asked, still slightly confused at the level of crazy that was coming out of the ape’s mouth.
Sighing, Aulus turned back to look at the ‘T.V’. “Just sit back down and open your beer while you watch the greatest show made by man.”
“So it’s not a portal?” I confirmed.. Hey when you’ve been thrown into as many portals as I have, you like to be cautious.
Deciding to trust the human and my ability to awesome my way out of any traps, I sat back down.
“Nope.”
I watched in silence as Aulus fiddled with his ‘remote’ again, the picture on the screen becoming black before some neat music started. While watching what Aulus called ‘the opening credits’, the human snapped his fingers, a look of realization on his face.
“Oh shit,” He said, finally helping me open my ‘beer’, “I forgot to tell you what Discord said….Now what was it? Oh yeah! He said something about not trying to escape this room or bad stuff would happen.”
Bringing the can to my lips I grimaced as I tasted the liquid inside “Man, this stuff’s nasty.”
Aulus shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. “It’ll get better the more you drink.”
“Shush,” I muttered, closing my eyes . “I need to see what Dad booby-trapped the outside of this place with.” Channeling my magic, I willed it to snake through to walls to probe the outside,. What I found was far more than I thought the old man would do to keep me inside. “Holy bucking buck,” I said, opening my eyes in horror as Aulus looked at me, now with actual concern.
“What? Did he put a really big lock on the door?” The dummy tried to joke.
“There’s alcohol in this stuff right?” I asked the human who just silently nodded. He didn’t look reassured when I drank the rest in one gulp. “The bucker put a barrier of pure chaos around this place. How did he even do that?...”
“And that’s bad why…?”
Boy, does this guy know anything? “I’m a being of chaos. If I touch the stuff I’ll be absorbed into it. I don’t know what’ll happen to you, but exploding is a very real possibility.”
Whistling, the human handed me another beer. “Huh, that sucks…. So that Discord guy’s your dad?”
I blinked owlishly at him. “You just found out that you're stuck with a Draconequus for an unknown amount of time in a world you don’t know about and you’re trying to make small talk ?” I asked, slightly confused by the human’s laidback manner. “I know I’m gorgeous, but hitting on me isn’t going to make this situation any better.”
I expected a snort or a squawk of protest from Aulus, but all he did was shrug. “Is panicking going to change the situation?”
“No...”
“Then why do it? I got all I need right here, beer, some fine company, and a shitload of movies and stuff. Plus I guess that I have electricity still so it’s all good. You dad’s going to feed us though, right?” The slightly worried human asked while I ignored him, my cheeks totally not red or anything from what he said.
“You think I’m good company?” I totally asked, full of confidence and vigor, and not shyly or girly or anything stupid like that. I also totally didn’t make a squeaking sound when Aulus put his arm around me with a smile on his face.
“Of course!” I was happily told me. “You seem like a cool chick and you’re watching T.V. with me and you haven’t asked for the remote yet. So…..yay.” Turning back to the T.V. Aulus started to watch what was going on, all but ignoring me as I looked up at him.
Was this human serious? He didn’t even know what I was, hell, he didn’t even probably know what planet he was on, but he was fine with how much different I looked from him? I know that I’m the sexiest thing alive but… that’s not what most ponies think.
When they see yours truly they see some ugly monster that attacks anything that moves. Sure it’s funny for a while, but after a thousand years of having ponies hating and being scared of you gets old after a while. So having someone that gives me the time of the day is really refreshing.
Not that I was going to tell him that or anything, I have a reputation to uphold and all.
So with a small smile I turned back toward the picture/screen hickey, sipping my beer as the human and I fell into a comfortable silence. At least until the dummy human said, “Eris, not to seem like a dick but what the hell are you?”
See? Stupid questions like that prove that Aulus was dropped in his head when he was little. Am I a super detective? Probably. Was I going to kill the human? There’s a good chance.
And it got worse as the days went by. My favorite question was if I had ‘junk’ and where the heck it was, and by my favorite question I mean I actually chased the human around our super room until we both almost passed out….
“All I wanted to know where it was I!”
“Come here you bucker so I can shove something up yours!”
“That sounds dirty!”
“I’mma kill you!”
Aulus was also a super neat freak, something that doesn’t mix well with an agent of chaos that doesn’t like to clean up all the junk on her floor. Other than that, Aulus was a pretty cool dude. I mean, I was wayyyy awesomer, but he tried….
“So you just worked as a food stocker?”
“Yep, I liked the work.”
“But you just said that your parents were loaded! Why wouldn’t you just lay around all day?”
“Works good for the soul, besides, my parents are cocks.”
“Is that right smart guy?”
“Ya, when someone becomes so spoiled that they think money can actually solve everything, they’re cocks.”
We were fed three meals a day with snacks and an unlimited supply of beer and movies. There’s some things I can’t live without now, I mean that Game of Thrones show is awesome! But that Joffrey kid can go die in a fire, seriously, when I get out of here I might pay him a little visit, that little bucker killed Eddard Stark!...
“Aulus?”
“Hmmmm?”
“Why do you humans have such neat stuff?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t go to college, I’m not learned enough to give you a good answer.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Can’t you at least give me a bit of a guess?
“Well…..”
“Come on, you can do it…”
“If I really had to guess, all human’s just want to be lazy.”
“...Huh?”
“We made the wheel so we wouldn’t have a cart to carry stuff. We then tamed animals so we wouldn’t have to push the carts. Then, to save us the trouble of taking care or a horse or an ox we made carts that moved themselves. We’ve made better stuff so we wouldn’t have to do so much.”
“... Did you just seriously say that?”
“You asked me why humans have such neat stuff and I told you what I thought, if you wanted a better answer you should of gotten your dad to kidnap a smarter guy.”
…
…
“You know, it wasn’t that bad…”
“Better than you could of came up with.”
“Ya, if I was dropped on my head when I was little….”
So it was pretty okay, I had someone to talk about stuff and he also served as a maid, so it wasn’t horrible. There were probably worse prisons. The human, when he wasn’t barraging me with dumb questions, was awed be my awesomeness whenever I chose to give him the privilege of seeing it.
Floating him around the room was fun for the both of us until Aulus found out the he got motion sickness easily; then it was an hour clean up. For some reason Aulus really didn’t like the transfiguration spells I cast on him, but each time I did it, it was hilarious.
You should have seen the look on his face when I turned him into a girl; he jumped out of his bed so hard he almost hit his ceiling. Boy was that funny…
“Eris, what’s wrong with my voice?WAIT, WHY DO I GAVE TITS?!”
“hahahahaha!!!!!”
To show I was a good sport, I showed what I looked like in different forms, sometimes the results being less than ideal. Aulus forgot to mention I should have worn some cloths when I tried to change into a human woman.
How do human women deal with having all those bits hanging out there like that? I mean, I guess Aulus liked how I looked judging from how he his face turned an interesting shade of red and he refused to look at me for the rest of the day. So I had to stay in that form the whole day and tease him, borrowing some of his clothes to wear of course, mommy didn’t raise no hussy after all.
So that’s how Aulus and I passed the time we had together. I didn’t know if it was weeks or months that we stayed there. I guess when you’re drunk, time just flies by. Until I found out, one day, to my dismay, that Aulus figured out how to get past my barrier that separated our rooms…
CRASH!
“Whatzat?” I muttered, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Looking around I noticed that the human was no longer sitting next to me watching movies. He’s probably talking a shower… I thought with a yawn, picturing my human friend in the shower, naked… Only to immediately stamp those thoughts out, heat rushing to my face for some reason.
I mean Aulus is a neat guy and all and he’s fun to be around, and sure he’s kinda good-looking if I had to admit it… No, bad I angrily thought to myself, angry at the funny feeling growing in my stomach. It only got worse when I noticed someone had put a pillow under my head and a nice fuzzy blanket wrapped around me.
“Aulus, you jerk…” I muttered, a small smile on my face. Stretching and groaning softly as bones popped I looked at the T.V., seeing that the movie we had just been watching was rolling the ending credits.
Reaching for the remote, a loud bang made me sit up and look around. “Where the heck is that coming from?” I said, looking around, silently hoping it wasn’t my dad the old man liked to appear every once in a while to check on how me and Aulus were doing, which would have been fine if he wasn’t such a dick every time he came.
For some reason, dad started to get… crueler whenever he came to either feed us or to take all of the junk that we were leaving around all over the place. I gotta tell ya, getting called names by your dad’s a lot worse than whenever some stupid pony does it…
I couldn’t even ask why did was doing it too, all he would do was get us some food, call me a ‘disappointment’ or a ‘walking failure’, and then leave. No one wouldn’t cry after that. I don’t care what you say.
“Discord, you say one more fucking thing you and I are going to have a problem!”
Discord sneered, his face pressing up against the humans. “What are you going to-”
Smack!
The draconequus’s head snapped to the side, a surprised look on his face as Aulus snarled.
“Did… you just hit me?”
“I’ll fucking hit you again if you don’t take that trashbag and get the fuck outta my face!”
Discord opened his mouth then closed it, looking confusingly at the human before grabbing a garbage bag and teleporting away with a snap of his fingers.
Beaming, Aulus turned toward Eris, who had watched the whole confrontation with a look of awe on her face.
“Did you just seriously sock my dad in the face?”
“Yep, the fucker shouldn’t of called you those names.” The human replied, walking over and sitting on the couch, a confused Eris in tow.
“You know he could've killed you right?”
Lifting his hand he showed Eris how badly it was shaking. “Yep, but I can’t stand seeing a lady cry.”
Eris, not knowing what to say to that, tackled the human into a tight hug, trying not to let him see the tears in her eyes and the smile on her face.
Anyway… I eventually found out what was making all of that noise? Yes
Was I happy that I found out that Aulus somehow gotten past my barrier? Does a chicken like when someone steals their eggs for breakfast?
Maybe, maybe not. I have no bucking idea; I’m a Draconequus not a chicken, but I was really mad.
And boy did the human look like he had just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar,: a trash bag in one hand and a handful of my stuff in his other. Dropping everything he was holding, Aulus started waving his arms around.
“This is alllll a dream, Eris.” The human said as my eye twitched. “Just lay back down, when you wake up everything will be a better, cleaner place. Goooo tooooo sleeeeppppp.”
Faceclawing, I closed my eyes. “Aulus,” I said, feeling a headache coming on. “What are you doing?”
“I am nooooot Aulus, I ammmm aaaa dreaaaammmm!” the big dummy said, ridiculously waving his arms around.
Grumbling, I floated out of the bed and went over to the barrier, checking to see how the human had gone through my impassible barrier. Ignoring Aulus for the moment, I flicked the crackling barrier. The said barrier crackled with energy.
“How and the hay did you get past this thing?” I asked, slightly bemused. Shrugging, Aulus bent down to pick up the trash bag. “The power of cleanliness helped me.”
“The power of being a moron helped you.” I muttered, waving the human over. “Get over here and put my stuff down.”
That got me a shake of the head. “No can do, Eris.” He said, “I gotta pick up all of this dirty laundry…Why do why have all of these clothes anyway? You’re naked most of the time.”
Raising my fingers of death I raised an eyebrow. “You know, I can make you come over here, and if I have to do that…….then you’re gonna be a girl for the rest of the day.”I told the human, using a tone a person would to address a pet; like a dog.
For one brief, amazing moment I saw a look of defiance on the human’s face. Saynosaynosayno I thought, trying not to smile. What? It’s always funny to switch your friend’s gender. Trust me, I’m a doctor.
To my disappointment Aulus sighed, dropping the bag. “Fine,” He muttered, dropping the bag and making his way toward me. “But eventually you’re going to clean this mess up even if it’s going to kill me.”
Snickering, I said, “That can be arranged.” I said, giving Aulus a mock glare as I crossed my arms. “Then I can keep your corpse as a servant.”
I got a smile as Aulus navigated around mountains of my junk. “I’m pretty much your servant right now.”
“But if you’re dead then I don’t have to hear you nag me.”
Aulus was about to say something, and though I’m sure it would have been great, the universe decided that it didn’t want to have two smart mouths in the same confined space. And since I was the better looking of the two, he was the one that got it. As the human took another step toward me he slipped on something, sending him stumbling.
“Shit!” Aulus screamed, his arms flailing as he tried to regain his footing.
Rolling my eyes I used my ninja skills to float over and caught him to keep Aulus from kissing the ground, the Aulus’ head hitting my chest as I caught him, laughing as the human kept his eyes closed. “Aulus,” I said, a smile on my face. “You’re fine you big baby. Get off me so we can get something to eat, I’m starving.”
“No” The human said, closing his eyes tighter. “I’m still falling; if I open my eyes then I’m going to hit the ground.”
I looked down as the human gently nuzzled into my chest, a bemused expression on my bread and butter. “…You know how stupid you sound right?”
“It’s not stupid, it’s next level logic, and I’m not surprised that you don’t understand it.” Aulus answered me. Instead of gracing Aulus with the witty remark, one which would have blown his small insignificant mind to itty bitty pieces, I moved slightly to the side, grinning as the human hit the carpet with a thud, which turned into a hearty chuckle when he started rolling around the ground, holding his nose.
“Oowowowowow!” Aulus kept muttering as I laughed. “My nose is fucking broken!”
Having gotten my seven chuckles and wiping a tear from my eye, I helped the human to his feet. “You’re fine you big baby.” I told him when Aulus wouldn’t move his hands away from his nose.
“But my nose is broken!” Aulus whined in a nasally voice.
Rolling my eyes, I moved the humans hands out of the way, whistling when I saw the damage that had been done. The human’s nose was bent at a funny with a steady stream of blood coming out of each nostril.
“Boy you really bucked yourself up.”
If Aulus didn’t have tears in his eyes I’m sure that he would have glared at me. “You’re the one that let me fall.” The human told me, an accusing tone laced in his voice as he lightly touched his super messed up nose.
I flinched at the accusation. Even though it was funny when I did it, and Aulus shouldn’t of been on my side of the room in the first place, the human didn’t deserve a broken nose!
I couldn’t help but feel, what do you call it? That emotion when you don’t like what you did to a person so you then feel bad on the inside? O ya, it’s called ‘guilt.
“I wouldn’t have done it if I thought you were going to hurt yourself…” I muttered, the ‘guilt’ emotion building up inside me.
Ignoring me, Aulus started using both of his hands to gently prod his nose. “Alright,” He muttered to himself, “I’m just going to have to pop it back in place; it can’t be that hard right? It looks really easy do in the movies.”
Snapping out of my stupor, I stopped the human from doing something stupid. “Nonono, don’t do that. I’ll fix you right up.” I told him, closing my eyes and touching his nose gently with my claw. With a bit of chaos magic I popped his nose back into place, flinching at the loud popping sound and Aulus’ yelp of pain.
Opening my eyes I was the human with a smile on his face as he wiped the blood from around his nose. “O sweet, thanks, Eris.” He sweetly told me, looking at the blood that now covered his hand. “I feel like a million bucks now.”
For some reason, as I looked at the lug, my guilt increased. For chaos sakes, he didn’t deserve to get hurt like that! All he was trying to do was help me clean up my dirty room, and what do I do to reward his kindness? Threaten him and then help him break his nose.
Boy, did that thought making me feel like a bucker.
I hurt one of the only friends that I had in the world just because I thought it was funny…
Everyone might be right; I might really be a monster…
Not being able to look Aulus in the face any longer, I floated around him and started picking up my junk, tears threatening to overflow from my eyes.
“Eris?” A now confused-sounding Aulus said, taking a step toward me. “What are you doing?”
That concerned voice ripped through me, why wasn’t he angry at me? Choking back a sob I started to pick up what tripped Aulus and hurt him in the first place, an empty can of soda. My vision blurring with my tears I crushed the can with a claw, sadness and anger coursing through me.
You just couldn’t throw your junk away eh Eris? I thought angrily You lazy good for nothing-
I froze when I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Eris?...”
That was when my floodgates opened. Turning around and burying my face into a probably now confused Aulus’ chest, I started to sob. My sobbing only increased when I felt the human’s arms wrapped tightly around me.
“I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry.” I kept repeating, tears streaming down my face as Aulus tried to comfort me.
“It’s okay, it’s okay, Eris, it’s okay.” Aulus muttered, running a hand through my hair as he gently carried me over to my bed and sitting me down, comfortingly holding me as I carried out my water-works, clenching the human desperately as I kept muttering how sorry I was.
After an embarrassing amount of time I finally quit being a little baby, resting my chin on Aulus’ shoulder as the human soothingly ran a hand up and down my back. Using my griffin paw to wipe my face I closed my eyes and sighed, it was oddly nice how warm Aulus was, how safe I felt when I felt his arms around me…
What are you looking at me for? Can’t I have a few weak moments every once and a while for buck sakes?
“I’m sorry for breaking your nose….” I finally muttered, my voice a little rough from my little cry.
I felt Aulus gently bump my head with his. “Silly,” He told me with a chastising tone “Sure, it sucked, but it could've been worse. You fixed me so it’s water under the bridge for me.”
Wiping my nose my head moved from Aulus’ shoulder and I looked in his eyes. Instead of finding the anger that I was expecting I only saw kindness. A look I don’t deserve I thought, still slightly angry with myself.
“If I wasn’t such a slob you wouldn’t have tried to clean up after me.” I argued, closing my eyes when I felt the tears starting to resurface. “I’m a no good, dirty-” My self hate was stopped when Aulus touched our foreheads together.
“You are what you are” The human told me, making me look into his eyes. “and there isn’t a thing you should change.” I smiled at that. “Except the whole being a bitch thing, that can be tweaked a little bit.” I slugged his shoulder form that, giggling as I moved my head away from his.
”Well buck you too buddy.” I told him, my mood lightened.
Chuckling with me, Aulus continued, “Eris, you are not a good person, or a bad one, you are like everyone else, just a person, which is amazing for someone in your position.” I was told, my face now heating up.
“What’s happened to you? You're born into more chaos than most people could even guess at, your hated and feared, and you were turned into a statue. Did you do what your dad did? No, you didn’t lose yourself to your nature, you used this,” He poked my head, “and this,” he then poked my chest where my heart was, “To stay true to yourself and stay the awesome girl that you are now.”
I couldn’t help but smile as Aulus gave me a quick peck on the cheek, my face on fire as he looked down on me with a smile. Hugging him hard I muttered, “Thanks for the pep talk, Aulus. You really know how to remind me how awesome I am.”
Chuckling, Aulus ruffled my hair before turning back and walking toward his couch. Sitting on said furniture, he patted the spot next to him. “Now do me a favor and grab that pizza that we got left over, we’re watching the Lord of the Rings next!”
Wordlessly doing as my friend asked, a smile still on my face, grabbing the half of a pizza that we still had and a couple of beers to liven things up a little I plopped down next to Aulus, me face still red from the humans little pep talk.
Handing him a beer we both watched the opening credits, Aulus not noticing as I shifted in my seat little by little until I was comfortably snuggled into the human’s side, sighing happily at the contact as Aulus started to explain to me who the hay Frodo Baggins was….
You know, I’ve found out another kink in my whole ‘I’m perfect’ amour. I have the pretty bad habit of falling asleep on Aulus’ couch, but hey, it’s not my fault! You’d be tired too if you went through a ten hour movie binge, that shit’s hard work.
Once again Aulus was kind enough to provide me with the proper sleeping equipment to help me get my beauty sleep. Stretching and giving myself a scratch I looked at the clock that hung on my wall.
“One in the morning? We really need to stop just watching movies all day.” I muttered, staring up at the ceiling. “Maybe I could get dad to let us out to do something…” I smiled at the image of me and the human maybe going on a picnic or something….
Yeah, yeah, you can call me a softie now, I can take it. I’m still the awesome Draconequus that I’ve always been; it’s just that I calmed down a little I guess….
Huh, I guess dad was right… I wonder if dad feels the same about yellow quiet. Frowning I had a disturbing thought. If dad feels the same way I do, do he and that pony?.... “Ewwwww….” I said, rolling out of the couch, dispelling some pretty sick images from my noggin, no one should have to think about their dad slinging his shit…
No one.
Hiding a yawn with my paw I looked around at the dark room, slowly floating over to my bed for a one way trip to dreamland. A snore gave me pause from sliding under my covers. Turning around and peering over to Aulus’ side of the room I saw the human under his bundle of covers fast asleep.
Looking back at my bed I thought how empty it now looked, and boy, I didn’t want to sleep alone. After a little debate with myself and my cheeks heating up, I floated over to the Aulus’ bed and started to gently shake him.
“Aulus, Aulus, wake up.” I loudly whispered, the human stirring.
“Eris?” The sleepy human asked, looking up at me and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “What’s wrong, did something happen?”
Shaking my head I leaned closer to him. “Aulus” I said, hoping that the darkness was hiding my red face. “Could I….sleepwithyoutonight?”
I saw Aulus blink owlishly at me. “…What?”
Sighing and taking a deep breath to calm my now shaky nerves I said again, “Can I sleep with you tonight?” Closing my eyes I waited for the rejection.
“Sure” Aulus said, laying back down, closing his eyes and opening his arms for me. “Lay on down so I can pass back out.”
Swallowing the lump that was forming in the back of my throat I crawled into bed with Aulus, the human wrapping his arms around me, grinning as I squeaked in a not so awesome way. “You are adorable.” The human told me.
“Ya, shut your whore mouth.” I grumbled, nuzzling the nape of the human’s neck, sighing at how warm he was.
“Yes dea- Ow, no pinching!”
I smiled in the darkness. “Go step on a Lego.”…
Like every good sleep, mine was way too short, and like most sleep’s, that big dumb fall of fire in the sky ruined it. “No sun, “I murmured tiredly, trying to wave the sun away with a claw. “go back down for like another hour or two for buck’s sakes.”
When Sunbutt’s stupid sun didn’t comply with my perfectly reasonable demands, I rolled over, trying to get away from that chaos damned light, only to roll into something soft and warm. Scrunching my nose, my eyes still closed, I poked whatever that preventing me from getting away from the light.
“What the heck is this?” I muttered, opening an eye to see Aulus’ sleeping face right next to mine. My eyes widening I remembered asking Aulus for a little snuggle time, my face heating up as I now felt the human’s arms wrapping around me. I smiled at the human’s sigh of content when I gave him a small squeeze, my tail wrapping around his leg as I closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep.
I wonder if Aulus is my colt friend now… I thought as I started to drift off, the thought bringing me back to lucidity as I blushed. Now you might be thinking, Eris, a good looking girl like you must have had hundreds of gentlemen friends in your time…. And you’d be super right! Yep, loads of them, and I’m totally not lying or anything.
Opening an eye I looked back on the sleeping human, a smile on my face as I cupped his cheek with a claw. If he wasn’t then all I had to do was give’em the ol’ Eris charm and he’d be mine faster than you could blink.
Well, he’s sleeping right now, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I give him a little smooch… I thought leaning toward Aulus, my lips puckered and my eyes closed, ready to give the human the kissing of his life...
Except he had to go and ruin it by letting me go and rolling over, making me kiss the back of his head. Grumbling, I teleported over the other side of the bed, this time putting a claw on his shoulder to keep Aulus from rolling over.
“Now you stay right there for bucks’s sakes…” I muttered, his time leaning in with my eyes open, ready for any faggotry that the sleeping man might attempt.
Said faggotry happened too, right when mine and the human’s lips touched Aulus rolling onto his back and taking me along for the ride. Breaking off the kiss I saw that my sexy self was now resting on top of the human, who now had the great idea of wrapping his arms around me so I was effectively trapped in his clutches.
Not really, I could have just moved his arms away or teleported or something like that but eh, I was too lazy at the moment and it was really nice having a human as a pillow.
It was in this position, me being red faced and having a small, girly smile on my face, that I noticed something poking me in the flank, something hard and penis-shaped if you know what I’m saying.
I froze when I felt Aulus’ goodies, a sly smile forming on my face. It looked like the poor guy was getting a little excited with all of my sexiness in his proximity. We can’t have that… I thought, my claw trailing down the human’s naked chest down to his boxers.
Now, don’t you look at me like that, there isn’t a guy in the universe that doesn’t want to wake up getting some from a beautiful creature like myself, besides, we were practically dating anyway so it was all good.
Uncoiling my tail from Aulus’ leg and sliding down a little on the humans torso, I lowered the covers to I could get a good look at what I was doing, I wanted to see what the humans junk looked like and I needed to see if my hand job skill’s had diminished in any way.
Pulling down his boxers I saw the human’s penis, which doesn’t really need any description, you’ve seen one penis you’ve seen them all, am I right ladies?
That doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel a little bit of lust when I looked at it, a big smile on my face as my claw wrapped around Aulus’ shaft, slowly stroking his dick, grinning as the human gave me a sleepy groan.
Heh, looks like my skills still pay the bills…
Increasing my pace I muttered a little spell, the one that kept my goodies hidden from unworthy eyes, my lion’s paw trailing down to give myself a little attention too. But before I even got halfway down one of Aulus’ hands caught my paw.
With a squeak, my eyes widening, I looked up to the now awake human, who was looking down at me with a small, sleepy smile on his face and more than a little lust in his eyes. “Well good morning to you too.” He said.
Smiling up at him sheepishly I slowed down my stroking. “…Surprise?” I lamely said, hoping that the human wasn’t going to take this badly.
Aulus smile got a bit bigger as he grabbed me under my arms, lifting me so I was face-to-face with him. “And what a surprise it is,” he said, “Though it isn’t a bad one.”
I gave him an unsure look. “So you’re-” I started to ask before I felt Aulus’ hand drift down between my legs, his fingers gently brushing my sex.
I flinched, my eyes closing as a flash of pleasure shot through me, moaning as Aulus raised an eyebrow, a smile on his face. “Looks like someone’s excited.” He teased; making me bit my lip as he drew circles with a finger around my inner thigh. “I guess I’m going to have to help you with that.”
Before I could retort I felt the human’s arms wrapping around me. “Watch your tail.” I was told before I was rolled, as the human now laid on top of me.
My eyes snapped open, now looking into Aulus’ laughing eyes. “You know I don’t think I’ve ever told you, but you have the prettiest red eyes.” I blushed hard at this, Aulus quietly laughing as he kissed my snout, his smile becoming almost feral. “Let’s see what it takes to cross’em.” With that he was off, as he began showering my neck with kisses before traveling downward, nipping, kissing, and licking my body until he made his way to my lower stomach.
“You know Eris,” Aulus said, kissing my stomach as my legs twitched. “I’ve been thinking, since you have a griffin claw and a paw it must suck relieving yourself.” I moaned as the human traced a finger around my sex, so slowly it was almost painful. Aulus chuckled, “Boy are you excited huh? Are you going to finish before I even put one in?”
“B-Buck y-you.” I moaned, opening an eye to see what he was doing.
With one last kiss on my stomach the human looked up at me and winked, “Yes ma’am.”
Slowly bringing his pointer finger to my soaked sex, lubricating it before looking back up at me. “Ready, Eris?”
Giving him a smile and a nod i answered, “Y-Y, j-just get t-to w-work, I-I’m dying here.”
With a nod, I felt the human’s finger slowly enter me, coupled with him leaning down and dragging his tongue across my puffy lips, causing my legs to buck. “Oooooo, yes, Aulus, like that~” My paw went down to the human’s head, stroking it as I felt his finger pumping in and out of me, coupled with what his tongue was doing to me, he had my eyes crossed as I moaned.
Looking up at me as he kissed my thighs Aulus grinned before I felt him slide another finger slowly into me, twisting his wrist while using his thumb to stroke my sensitive button. “I told you I’d make your eyes cross” , he smirked at me as he increased his pace.
Biting my claw I closed my eyes, an almost forgotten pressure building inside me. “Q-Quit t-talking a-and k-keep u-using t-that t-tongue i-if y-you k-know w-what’s g-good f-for y-you.” I shivered, not realizing in my pleasure saying that may not of been the best of ideas.
Raising an eyebrow Aulus looked up at me, increasing his pace. “Alright tough girl, you wanna be like that? Fine.” My eyes closed again when I felt Aulus’ breath right above my button an instant before he attacked it, sucking on it so hard that my entire body started to stiffen, and I swear that my eyes rolled into the back of my head as I screamed, just a hair's breath from my release.
That was when that dastardly, evil human slowed his pace, pleasure still crashing through me but not enough to finish me. “A-Aulus c-come o-on!” I whined, trying to buck upwards into Aulus’ face.
Moving his head away from my crotch and looking up at me, he said, “I will as soon as you beg for it.”
Which caused my eyes to snap open look down angrily at him, “W-What?”
“As soon as you beg for it I’ll finish you.”
Growling, I gritted my teeth, trying to look displeased with the waves of pleasure I was still experiencing. “N-Not i-in a-a m-million y-years.”
Aulus grinned at that, increasing his pace. “Are you sure~?”
“Y-yes.”
“Come on, you know you want to.”
“B-buck o-off.”
“Quite being a baby and just beg for christ sakes, my hands getting tired.”
“N-NO!”
“Eris you-”
Tired of the humans smug look and determined to wipe it off his stupid face, I snapped my fingers, enjoying Aulus’ look of shock when he noticed that he couldn’t move. “What the hell?” He said as I gently removed his amazing fingers, forcing the human to float up horizontally into the air as I looked up at him with a smirk.
“Not so tough now eh big guy?” I said, floating up to get face-to-face with him, my arms crossed. “You like making a lady beg huh? Well that’s rude.” Looking down at Aulus’ junk my griffin claw snaked down and wrapped around his shaft, enjoying his gasps of shock as I gave him a squeeze. “I think you need to be punished.”
Before the human could answer my mouth crashed into his, our tongues battling for dominance as Aulus moaned into my mouth. Breaking the kiss I grinned at the now panting human, my eyes hungrily roaming his body until I came upon his little soldier, which was standing at full attention.
Floating down until I was face-to-face with his member, gently blowing on the human’s sensitive cock, causing him to groan. “Boy,” I said, looking up at Aulus, an innocent look on my face, “I bet you wish you could move right now huh? It must be driving you nuts, there’s a mouth right here for you to rut and you can’t do anything.”
I opened my mouth and blew on his dick, enjoying the sight of precum on his tip as I challenged, “Come on big boy, all you gotta do is move a little bit.” Giving him a wink I opened my mouth as if to wait for him, trying to keep from laughing when I saw him thrashing his head around, trying and failing to move at all.
Looking up I gave him a pouting look, “Come on, Aulus, don’t you want to buck my face?” The human roared in response, a vein throbbing on his forehead, his face red from exertion as he tried to break free from my magic.
Giving him a fake sad sigh, I floated upward, showing him my soaked sex, “Well, if you don’t want me to help you out could you finish me off, you have me so wet right now.” I told him, keeping the smile off my face as the now red-faced human tried to reach my marehood, which was just out of his reach.
When Aulus saw my grin he growled, baring his teeth at me before saying, “E-Eris, y-you b-bitch.” Ignoring him I floated down until my marehood was right above his cock, gently grinding myself along his length. I couldn’t help but let out a little moan of pleasure as Aulus stopping his struggling to look at me wide-eyed. “Come on, at least put that huge cock of yours inside me.”
I watched with more than a little amusement as all of the fight when out of the human, Aulus now whimpering as he said, “E-Eris, P-please.”
I smiled up at him., “Who’s the sexiest, smartest, and best draconequus in the history of everything ever?”
“Y-You.” The human all but whispered, his eyes huge.
I stopped grinding myself on him, now crossing my arms. “Do you want me to play withyour big cock?”
He blushed. “...Yes.”
Giving him a smirk and pecking him on the cheek I replied, “Why didn’t you say so?”Another whimper was all that I got as I went down to the humans crotch, my claw gently stroking the excited mans dick. “My, my, look who’s excited now.” I teased. “I’ve barely touched you and you look like you’re gonna finish.”
All I got was another whimper, Aulus looking down at me pleadingly. With a grin I snaked up and gave him a peck on the cheek, floating us both down onto his bed while still stroking the human’s member, causing him to groan.
I giggled lustily, “Does Aulus like being held down played with?” I snapped my claws, releasing the human from his magical binds.
Giving him a final wink I spun around, giving the human a good look at my goodies. “You can move now,” I said, wiggling my flank. “in case you, I don’t know, want to-”
Quick tip ladies, if you’re going to magic up you’re man so he can’t move and tease him until he almost loses his mind don’t be surprised when he grabs your flank and sticks his tongue into you so hard your eyes cross.
“Umm!” I groaned as my poor sensitive sex as abused by Aulus’s lips, tongue, and teeth as I spread my legs to give the human easier access. “S-someone’s e-eager.” shuddered, biting my lip so hard that I almost drew blood.
Aulus growled again as he thrust his hips into my claw, his cock throbbing as I gave it’s head a lick. Hmmm, tasty.
Unfortunately, since we both were already so worked up from our earlier sexytimes, it wasn’t long before I felt a familiar sensation building up in my nether regions.
“Oh yes, Aulus, just like that. Yes, yes, YES!” I screamed, taking as much of the human’s member into my mouth to keep as the waves of pleasure rippled through me. With a final snarl and a thrust I felt his seed shooting out and hitting the back of my throat.
Humming to myself I gulped everything I was given as Aulus rolled me off him, panting and with a big, dumb smile on his face, a look I was probably imitating, as I laid my head on his chest. Wrapping his arms around my now delightfully sore body, Aulus kissed the top of my head as we lapsed into silence, enjoying each other’s company and warmth.
A silence that I broke when I looked at the human, a slightly worried look on my face as I said, “Aulus, does this mean you’d be fine going out with m-me?” Boy did I hate that shimmer at the end. Looking up at him I couldn’t help but feel a pang of doubt until the human, looking down and smiling at me, brought me in for a kiss.
“As long as you’re fine with going out with me.” He answered, now trying to breathe when my arms wrapped around his neck in a crushing hug.
Squealing I said, “Omygoshomygoshomyogosh! Just you wait; I’m going to be the best filly friend ever!” Not noticing until Aulus was desperately trying to pry my arms off that he was turning an interesting shade of purple I eased up my grip.
As Aulus gulped in air I gave him a sheepish grin before resting my head back on his chest. Could this day get any better? I thought happily, nuzzling the gasping human’s chest, not noticing the major magical distortion that was happening around the house until one of our walls exploded.
Aulus and I froze as a figure stood amiss the smoke, Sunbutt if I had to guess. And Sunbutt it was as she strode into the room, a concerned look on her face. “Don’t worry Human I’m here to save- what the hay is going on?” She said, looking over at us.
Looking down at me Aulus said something that will make me love him forever, “Is that a talking horse?”
Grinning when I saw the princesses eye twitch, leaning up and kissing my man on the lips, saying, “Yes, yes it is.”
The End
