A Historical Pun

by River Road

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy
Length: 1270

How did a town come to be named Ponyville?

Welcome to Ponyville!
...Yes, we're serious.
...No, we're not jokin'.
...Yes, we're aware that– Listen, you get used to it after a while, okay?

A short story on the history of town's names, and of one town in particular.

Published 2013-09-24 21:10:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-09-24 21:10:04 UTC

The Pun

The Earth Pony stallion wiped a few drops of sweat from his forehead, smearing the black paint from his hoof into his light brown fur in the process. He put the hammer and the few unused nails back into the toolbox before placing everything under the wooden fence, next to the small pot of black paint and the paintbrush he had used earlier. Then he snatched his Stetson hat from the fence pole to put it back on top of his styled, dark brown mane and took a step back to admire his handiwork.

“Ah thought Ah heard somepony hammerin’ away.” The stallion looked up at the beige Earth Pony mare that was trotting up to him. Her red mane and tail with the streaks off a more washed out red shimmered slightly in the early morning light. Behind her a short path lead up to a small house of simple design, without paint and made from cheap wood, which was surrounded by the wooden fence.

“What are y’all thinkin’, makin’ a racket like that before the sun’s even up.” The mare trod up to the stallion, continuing to tell him off, albeit with a sly smirk on betraying her tone.

The stallion grinned back at the mare sheepishly. “Aheh… Ah’m sorry, Sew dear, but Ah just had the urge to do somethin’ while we’re waitin’ for the apples to grow, and then Ah got this here idea. Ah didn’t wake y’all and the kids up, did I?”

Sew’n Sow gave her husband a warm smile. “Don’t ya worry about that, Pokey; it’s time to get up anyway, there’s still more than enough work to do for us. Now let’s see what y'all have done there.”

Pokey Oaks quickly moved to stand between his wife and his newest creation. “Well, if y’all promise to be really nice and say ‘Please’ Ah might consider lettin‘ ya take a peek.”

“How ‘bout Ah promise not to whack y’all over yer big head?” Sew’n Sow asked, trying to shove her husband away. Unlike their usual joking though, the stallion didn’t move an inch.

“Not so fast, sugarcube. Y’all wouldn’t want to spoil the big reveal, would ya? Ah have a whole small speech thought up for this.”

Sew’n Sow stopped her advance to give her husband a wary look, taking a step back. “Oh no… Ah know that tone of yours. This is another one of yer horrible jokes, ain’t it?”

“Why, I’d never…” The stallion’s sentence trailed off under his wife’s scrutinizing gaze. “…Okay, ya got me here. Ah guess the gig’s up.” He let his head hang in mock defeat.

The mare let out a tired groan, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. She stayed like that for a few seconds before she raised her head again to muster her husband with a crooked grin. “Alright, Ah’m mentally prepared for whatever terrible assault on humor y’all got for me this time.”

“Alright!” Pokey cheered with a wide grin. “Y’all know how the old pony settlers liked to name their towns around certain words; Trottingham, Manehattan, even Canterlot…”

“Uh-huh.” His wife raised an eyebrow at him in suspicion.

“Well, Ah figured that, since we’re miles away from other ponies down here, this little farm here practically counts for a town in his own right…”

Sew’n Sow slowly raised a hoof to her forehead again. “Ah dread what comes next.”

“So Ah hereby proudly present to y’all” – the stallion took a step to the side to reveal what he had been working on – “the name of our newly founded town!”

Sew’n Sow blinked once, staring at the pony-height sign that was planted into the ground to the right of the fence’s entrance. “T-That…” the mare stuttered, before letting out a frustrated groan. “That’s even worse than anythin’ I could’ve prepared for. Y’all have plum gone insane this time! Yer nuts, old coot, ya hear me?”

“Aww, don’t be like that, sugarcube.” Pokey cheerfully put a foreleg over his wife’s back, pulling her closer, and looked at the sign proudly. “Y’all are gonna see: One day this town is gonna be famous in all of Equestria! The Princess herself is going to visit us regularly and the country’s greatest heroes will be coming from here! Everypony will be proud to say that they’re from this little town, and our farm will be the one that started it all! The very first building of PONYVILLE!” He dropped back to four hooves from the excited pose he had struck, panting slightly after talking himself into a frenzy.

Sew’n Sow couldn’t help but chuckle at her husband’s excited performance. “Well,” she said, chuckling, “let’s hope that it never comes to that. Celestia knows that Ah wouldn’t put it past y’all to go through with this.”

She gave the sign one last glance. The name ‘Ponyville’ was written on it in bold letters with black paint. Below that it read in smaller letters ‘population: 5’.

“…And that’s why this town is named ‘Ponyville’,” Applejack concluded. “At least it’s what Granny Smith always used’ta tell me.” She looked over the various expressions on the faces of her five friends, all of whom were gathered at the library. They ranged from skeptical to amused – or open giggling, in Pinkie Pie’s case.

“That’s… I’m not quite sure what to think of it, actually.” Rarity tilted her head to the side and chuckled lightly. “It certainly is an interesting origin story.”

“Hmm…” Twilight put a hoof to her chin. “I think I remember this story from my history lessons back at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns; though your story was a lot more detailed.” She giggled. “It was a lot more amusing, at least.”

“Well I’ve never heard that story before.” Rainbow Dash was focused on stretching her wings. “I wonder why I never thought about our town being named Ponyville earlier.” She facehoofed, groaning. “And I’m glad I never did, too. That pun gets worse the longer I think about it.”

Twilight started giggling once more. “You know, back in Canterlot there was this rumor that the Princess herself cast a modified background spell on the town’s name to keep ponies from thinking about it too much…” She rolled her eyes “That, or we’ve just gotten used to it over the years.”

Twilight stood up to stretch her legs, levitating a notebook and a scroll over from a table. “Either way, thank you very much for helping me test this story-telling illusion spell, Applejack. I’d say that it was a full success.”

The other ponies began to get up and stretch as well. “Yer always welcome, Twilight,” Applejack said. “Ah never get tired of that story.”

“It really was a nice spell,” Fluttershy said in her usual, quiet tone, but with a hint of awe. “I could see and hear everything as if I was actually there.”

“Yeah, and your great-grandfather sounded like a reaaally fun pony!” Pinkie Pie cheered, happily bouncing across the room.

“Well, I’m glad y’all liked it.” Applejack trod out through the library’s door into the late afternoon, followed closely by her five friends. “Pokey Oaks really was something else. Ah guess that’s where Big Mac got his sense of humor and his loose mouth from.” She continued to trot down the street, humming to herself, completely oblivious of the confused expressions her friends were trading.

Author's Note

Just a silly idea I got today.

This is definitely my new headcanon.

(And yes, "story-telling illusion" is just a variation of a flashback. It's the fancy term.)