The Pie and I

by Mondai Shunketsu

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Gore, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Adventure
Length: 22028

Shikamaru Nara hunts for a rogue ninja in Equestria. For some reason, Pinkie Pie tags along.

Shikamaru Nara, Chunin of Konoha leads a small band of ninja to capture and execute a rogue Konoha shinobi. A miscalculation on Shikamaru's part not only allows the suspect to escape, but forces him to search for the man in the strangest place he's ever been. Excited at the rare opportunity, one of the locals stresses her duty as "Everypony's friend," determined to make the ninja feel welcomed. All Shikamaru cares about however is completing his mission and returning home.

The story is set in between the Hidan & Kakuzu arc and the Itachi Pursuit arc.

Published 2013-10-23 03:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-08 02:14:43 UTC

Prologue: Glued State

My eyes darted back and forth between the quivering vortex and the struggling equine. Jujo laughed in my direction and waved the scroll in front of my face. It flew into the dimensional rift just feet away from him and my body burned at the sight of his sneer.

“How long can you keep up that technique boy?” His face lit up with all sorts of crazy. As if that wasn’t enough, the incalculable number of clones trapped in the same technique all laughed as well. My eyes returned to the original Jujo Higuken and I reached into the satchel behind my waist. Asuma’s blades sent a cool chill up my arm, almost as if the guy whispered into my ear to keep my head amidst the chaos.

“Pinkie Pie,” I called, withdrawing the blades, “You’ve got to make sure you get out of harms way when I drop the Shadow Possession.”

“Are you crazy?!” I expected such a reply. She still didn’t understand.

“I can’t hold it for much longer, not with these many clones. I might have a way to get rid of them, but you’ll have to stay out of it.”

“Shikamaru, I’m not going to let you fight this Jujuju by yourself!”

“You’re encased in a wall of dirt Pinkie Pie,” I groaned. The shadows beneath me wavered suddenly. “This isn’t like those other times, you can’t stray from the plan!”

“What plan?! You never tell me your plans!”

Why do you have to be such a pain?! I bit my lip. I probably have twelve seconds after I release the jutsu. It’s small, but it’s still a window.

“Time is wasting kid,” Jujo declared obnoxiously. “We can wait until your shadows run out and you expend all of your chakra, or you can release me and I kill you and continue with my plan.”

“Either way, I still kill you,” a clone chuckled from behind. The multitudes bursted into obscene laughter.

Damn, my Shadow Possession is almost done. I’ve only got enough chakra to perform one more technique… Twilight and the Princesses are occupied with the Jujo clones in Canterlot, and a rip in the space-time dimension flutters about like a carefree flag. Come on Shikamaru, think...

Author's Note

I actually wanted this to be my first story on here, but I felt I wouldn't have done it right. All of my writing experiences so far now have prepared me for this moment. I don't see a lot of Shikamaru based fics on here, and I need to change that.

Prologue and Chapter 1, enjoy.

1. Have a Slice

“Whatever you do, don’t let him get away!” Kiba Inuzuka howled.

“Duly noted Kiba,” I said. “Just keep on his scent and we won’t lose him.”

“These trees are getting thicker by the kilometer,” Goketsu Hyuuga, one of my other squad members, complained. A slew of fallen leaves pasted themselves over his head covering, giving the impression of a messy toupee. Kiba got a few chuckles from the sight.

“He’s heading deep into Fire Country,” I assessed.

“The trees grow unrestricted in these parts,” Shino Aburame commented from the side. “It will be difficult to track him should he suddenly shed his scent.” Shino lifted his hand up to his face, studying a tiny insect as he traveled along. “Even my insects have no knowledge of this area.”

“He’s hoping to lose us in the density of the leaves and the unfamiliar smells,” I said. I halted our advance. The other three ninja landed around me, stopping on their own perch. “Kiba, stay with me. Shino, you and Goketsu continue pursuit, we’ll catch up.”

The two Konoha ninja nodded and resumed the chase.

“Oi, Akamaru, hold it we’re gonna take a break!” Kiba called from the treetops. The dog below broke his brisk pace, skidding along the ground before coming to a stop. He barked twice and sat down, waiting for an order.

“We’re not taking a break,” I said clenching my teeth a little. “As much as I would like to, we’re simply rethinking out strategy.”

“What’s there to think about? We chase this guy down and kill him,” Kiba said crossing his arms and tapping his foot.

“We can’t just rush him,” I scolded. “He’s an A-Rank shinobi with a repertoire of unknown skills, not to mention he is now in possession of a forbidden scroll.” Kiba simply scratched his nose and gave me a displeased growl.

“Four Konoha Chunin against one guy, I don’t care if he’s a Sannin, he’s going down. Lock him up with a Shadow Possession and I’ll rip his heart out.”

“It’s not that simple,” I argued back. “We want to be able to complete this mission without any casualties or serious injuries on our side. We also want to keep the ninja scroll in tact.”

“Then what do you suggest? Because as we sit here talking, that guy gets further away.” Kiba’s face contorted into a mess of scrunches and wrinkles.

“We’ll have to pressure him into using the secret jutsu,” I replied. I took off, Kiba and Akamaru quickly doing the same.

“What will that do?”

“It’ll allow me to use my Shadow Gathering technique and take back the scroll. Once that’s safe, then we can rush him.”

The other two members of my squad came into view and I urged the man and beast behind me to follow faster. We had regrouped as a unit and I relayed my plan to the other two.

“Byakugan!” Goketsu’s eyes shifted white and the contour of his face pulsed with blood and chakra. He pointed out a small clearing up ahead and signaled Akamaru to race forward. The mutt barked back and increased his speed.

“He has stopped,” Goketsu relayed suddenly.

“What, what do you mean he’s stopped?” Kiba barked.

“He’s waiting in the midst of the clearing, facing our direction.”

“Damn, he’s up to something then,” I mused quietly.

“It’s obviously a trap,” Shino began.

“Trap or not, the plan hasn’t changed, right?” Kiba asked, grinning that stupid grin. “Akamaru, heel. Wait for me boy,” Kiba called out abandoning the treetops for his partner’s back.

“We don’t know what kind of jutsus the scroll contains,” I said. “When we confront Jujo, try and prompt him into using the scroll or abandoning it. If I see it, I can at least pinpoint a weakness.”

“Emerge from the shadows and ambush him?” If I could see Shino’s hiding eyes through that solid tint of his, I would assume he had a brow raised.

“No,” I replied. “We’ll use the shadows instead. My shadows.” I could see the clearing up ahead and the lone figure that waited in it. His burly hands rested on his hips and a wide grin spread across his face. The fact that he sported the Konoha insignia over his forehead was almost like an insult. It wasn’t that I thought of him as a scumbag or anything, even though he was; it was that he always thought he was one step ahead of me.

“Alright, get ready,” I instructed forming a hand seal. The four bodies around me bolted into different directions. I released the chakra in my hands causing my shadow to deepen in tint. It wiggled freely from under my body and broke the dimensional plane of the tree branches. “Shadow Sewing Jutsu!”

Jujo laughed and jumped back, avoiding the first tendril that shot out at him from the trees. I looped the attack back around and struck from behind, but he ducked, allowing me the pleasure of just barely tearing his Journeyman vest.

“Shikamaru! I was wondering when you would get here!” he yelled avoiding another one of my strikes. I increased the output of the technique, spreading my shadow over a larger radius of the forest line. Tentacles burst from the forest, tearing at the ground and the trees. A plethora of shadow tendrils snaked about the field trying to pin down the jumping ninja.

“So, you’re going to hide in the trees and let your shadows do the talking?” I hated that guy. All he ever did was talk. “You should know better Shikamaru,” he shouted whisking his hands together.

Crap

“Fire Style: Giant Phoenix Bomb!” Jujo exhaled a large plume of flames into the woods. I barely left the area without getting scorched from the intense heat. The idiot had set the woods ablaze now. “It truly is the Land of Fire now!”

I broke through the shade of the forest and confronted the rogue in person. His smile heightened my scowl.

“Jujo, you are wanted by the Village of Konoha for treason, theft of a classified document, and for an attempt on the Hokage’s life. There is no negotiation, you will be captured and then executed.”

“So frank, right to the point then?”

“Don’t try anything. You know you’re outclassed here,” I responded removing Asuma’s blades from my satchel.

“When did you get a sense of urgency? What happened to the lazy kid I used to know?” He was tiring me with the questions. My eyes peered behind him and I caught a glimpse of Kiba’s headband glistening in the dark.

“I was forced to grow up. It was a pain, but it had to be done. Now, turn yourself in and save me from this other nuisance that you’ve caused.” I glimpsed back over at Kiba, but he had moved. Good.

“Making all of the big boy decisions now? Asuma’s not here to hold your hand anymore. He’d be proud.” He chuckled at my sudden flinch. My knuckles whitened. Goketsu’s headband flashed in the corner of my eyes giving me a few more seconds of banter.

“Speak his name without reverence again and I promise you’ll not even make it back to Konoha,” I said. Finally, Shino came into view. I pulled my arms up and my shadow burst to life once more, charging straight at the rogue ninja. Jujo jumped into the air, dodging to the left. All I could do was smile.

“Fang Wolf Fang!” Kiba and Akamaru lunged from the bushes, swirling at an immeasurable velocity. Thier combined assault crashed into Jujo’s body sending the man into the air. Jujo did not have time to recover, quickly being encased in a buzzing insect tomb.

“Alright Shino, drain as much chakra from the guy as you can,” I called out.

“Wait, this is not him.” Shino removed his insects from the air. A large log plummeted to the ground after the bugs flew away.

“I expected as much,” I said.

“From below!” Goketsu called. I jumped back just before Jujo emerged from the ground.

“I gotcha,” I grinned and tossed both of Asuma’s chakra blades in his direction.

“So you think!” he shouted and dodged the assault. His feet stamped onto the ground and he raised his arms to attack. I stood still, dropped my guard and pulled out a cigarette.

“I’m sorry. I think I gotcha,” I corrected myself. The mouthy brute struggled to move even one of his limbs. I could see reality seep in as he made eye contact with me. Frozen in place, he cursed me worse than any woman ever would. I stepped back far enough extended my shadow over his then. From the main branch, a tendril spoked from the side and collected the two blades I had tossed into the floor.

“Shadow Possession, Success!” Kiba yelled walking up to me.

“That’s my line,” I grumbled.

“Outmaneuvered by the genius again,” Jujo chuckled. “Mission accomplished then? Gonna kill me and take my head back to Konoha?”

“You ask a lot of questions, I’d rather not listen to them on the way back,” I said discarding the unlit cigarette.

“Where is the scroll?” Shino asked. Goketsu reached into the front pocket of Jujo’s Journeyman vest and handed it to me.

“I saw it as he came up from the ground,” he explained.

“Funny, I’d picture it’d be bigger,” Kiba remarked.

“That doesn’t really matter. We can go home now,” I sighed.

“Wasn’t it a little too easy to catch me boy?” Jujo asked with a grin. I narrowed my brow at his little ploy.

“One of the best ways to validate a bluff is to occasionally hold all of the right cards,” I said to him. “Where’s your ace?”

“A player is only as good as the pieces he controls Shikamaru.” I disregarded his comment. Making a Go reference when I was specifically referring to cards...

“I agree with Jujo. I don’t see anything with my Byakugan, but something doesn’t feel right,” Goketsu told me. I gave him a bemused look.

“Don’t you want to know what I stole at least?” the giddiness in his voice rubbed me the wrong way.

“If it was vital to the mission I’m sure we would have been told. So no, I don’t. Shino, drain his chakra.” Shino nodded and summoned a cloud on insects on both of his arms.

“You’ll get to see anyway,” Jujo muttered with a grin. I flinched. I hadn’t noticed it before. The jerk was hiding it from me until now. The Konoha insignia over his head was backwards. I was focused too much on the protection of the scroll I had missed something so little.

I didn’t even have time to curse my inattentiveness. Goketsu withdrew a kunai from his pouch and chucked it at the clone. The blade pierced the copy’s shoulder and it exploded into a cloud. I clutched mine then, feeling the pain as well.

“Goketsu, what are you doing?!” Kiba screamed running at him.

“That’s… not Goketsu,” I warned.

“No, it’s not!” the body said in Jujo’s voice. The rogue ninja dropped his disguise and punched Kiba in the gut. He grabbed Kiba’s hair and brought the boy’s face to his knee, then kicked him away. Kiba tumbled on the grass, blood streaming down his broken face. Akamaru charged in for an attack as well, but was repulsed by a sudden wall of earth.

“Parasitic Insect: Hail Storm!” Shino gathered his bugs into the air and launched smaller missiles at Jujo from a larger sphere of bugs. Jujo performed the Earth Wall technique again, shielding himself from the insect barrage.

“Damn, what happened to Goketsu?” I peered at the small scroll in my hand and unrolled it. I tossed the worthless parchment aside. Blank. Jujo’s shield had encased him in a dome of dirt now.

“Secret Technique,” I heard the shout from inside Jujo’s earthen casing. “Flaming Turtle Shell!”

“Shino!” I called. My cries were drowned out by a sudden eruption of flames escaping from newly formed holes within Jujo’s barrier. The fire spitting rock began to twirl about and charged at the Aburame ninja opposing it.

Shino bolted away, allowing Jujo to distance himself from us tremendously. The rogue ninja darted out of his shell and held in his hand a larger more embroidered scroll at his side.

“That’s the real scroll,” I mentioned to Shino.

“He is about to use it, quickly with your plan Shikamaru.” I formed the hand seals faster than I even blinked. A pool of shadow circled me and a wave of dark tendrils raced towards Jujo. He simply smiled and tossed the scroll in our direction.

“What?!” This wasn’t in my plan.

“You didn’t think someone as skilled as me needed a cheat sheet did you?” Jujo exclaimed proudly. The Shadow Gathering latched onto the scroll and reeled it back.

“This jutsu was designed by Orochimaru you know,” Jujo shouted looking at his palm. “It was supposed to imitate an Uchiha ninjutsu technique, only available to those who master elemental manipulation. Do you realize how much some people will pay for a technique like this?!”

“Quick, stop him!” I shouted. Jujo released a few hand seals, coating his right palm in a combination of the elemental bodies of ninjutsu.

“Now then, let’s try this technique.” Jujo performed several more hand seals, finishing with the sign of the tiger. “Forbidden Jutsu: Temporal Displacement!” The elemental bodies raged up Jujo’s arm now. A massive vortex of chakra erupted from his body and kicked up a strong wind.

Just what does he plan on doing? I watched as he swung down, forming a bright horizontal light in midair. A large thunder crack boomed throughout the area and the light that Jujo created burst open.

“What is that?” Shino asked.

“A… portal?” My mind raced at the realization. Jujo was even more dangerous now.

“We’ll see where this takes me. Hopefully away from here!” Jujo said, laughing maniacally.

I can’t let him escape! “Shadow Sewing Jutsu!” I launched my shadows again. The tendrils bolted across the ground and stabbed into Jujo’s limbs. The fool grinned at me though as his body began to warp all sorts of crazy shapes. He laughed as his form stretched and skewed into an unintelligible mess and vanished into the portal.

“He escaped,” Shino said looking down at me. I could not return the glance however. My body shook violently and I felt a deep pain in my gut. I looked over at the gaping hole in the air and saw my jutsu being sucked in just as Jujo was.

“Shikamaru, drop the jutsu!” Shino shouted.

“I can’t,” I suddenly realized. Wherever Jujo had gone, was a mystery, but what I was nearly certain about was that my jutsu was still attached to him. The dimensional rift in front of us began howling louder, sucking in at a greater rate than before. My body lifted into the air.

“Shino!” I cried reaching out for him. He extended his arm, but it was too late. My body convulsed in other-wordly spasms and the last thing I saw of the Land of Fire was Shino’s extended arm.

***

I don’t know what happened next. I don’t think I could really describe it to you even if I could recall it. I didn’t… wake up. I just kind of opened my eyes. My stomach decided to lurch on its own. My head throbbed suddenly and I expelled a gritty mess onto the floor. It took a while to recover, but I was finally able to catch my breath. Wiping my eyes, I peered up and looked all around. Grass, trees, sky, clouds… but no bodies.

Is this still the Land of Fire? I nearly stumbled from my awkward position. My body remained in the Shadow Sewing stance. I rose from my knees and scanned the field before me. My jutsu was gone and so was my target. It must have disconnected when I went through…

“The rift!” I shouted and turned around. No portal. Nothing but more trees. “Damn it,” I sighed. “I could be anywhere in the world right now because of that idiot.” Questions ran through my head as quickly as the remnants of my stomach resurfaced. I began walking forward, trudging slowly at first until I could continue relatively straight. I was unsure of where I was or where I would end up. I had to get my bearings first. I didn’t recognize a lot of the flora and the clouds were oddly puffier than before. Where the hell was I? I reached into a bag and removed the compass inside.

“I’ll at least try to orient myself,” I said shaking off another burp. The quivering needle circled around frantically, searching for north. I tried moving it around some to help, but all my aid seemed to have done was upset it even further.

“So you stranded me in the middle of nowhere and disappear to God knows where? Great, now I’m asking all the questions…” I had to think. If I was anywhere close to Jujo, he would reveal himself sooner or later. It would be better to rest for a while in case of an ambush.

Dropping my rear on the ground, I pulled another cigarette from my vest and stuck it in my mouth. I pulled the lighter out and flicked it on, keeping the flame away from the tip of the cig. Was I really going to smoke? Probably not. Not especially after losing my everything. God I hated smoking, it always made my eyes water. I supposed my notion was more so in reverence than intention. I shut the lid of the lighter and removed the cig from my mouth.

I had figured Jujo could have been transported somewhere else. We might have gotten separated in the rift, or he might have been disintegrated. My mind flashed back to my squad. If I could’ve I would’ve died right there. Two missing ninja, possibly two casualties, and an unaccomplished mission. If I did make it back, I would get chewed out for sure. Hell, I’d have blood on my hands.

My mind repulsed those thoughts, and I tried to focus on something else. It wouldn’t do any good mulling over in the past. I had to think. Think of a way to get back. It was funny though, how easily the feelings of dread rolled off of my shoulder. I was unfamiliar with my location, I knew nothing of my team or the dangerous convict, and I was probably forever trapped wherever here was. Amidst the adversity facing me, one thing was certain though; I felt no immediate threat or danger wherever I was. It had been a while since I last felt peace like this. A sharp exhale escaped my lips and I leaned back, taking a moment to study the artful marshmallows above me.

“How nostalgic,” I said aloud.

“Why is that?” came a peculiarly high voice. I started up and jerked my head to the side, observing the figure next to me. I expected a face… well, to be more specific, a human face.

“Y-you can talk?” I asked the pink… thing.

“Well duh? I wouldn’t have been able to ask you that question if I couldn’t,” the little horse replied. She appeared to be wearing one of the clouds on her head.

So much for resting… At least I can finally find a way back now.

“So, it’s safe to assume that I’m not in Fire Country anymore,” I groaned falling back down. “Unless your home resides in the Land of Fire.”

“Fire Country?! You live in a country full of fire?!” it asked bounding to the other side of me. Oh I see now, that was its hair.

“No,” I replied waving her off. “I live in the Land of Fire, don’t you know your geography?” her perplexed look (I assumed it was a her based on her voice pitch) answered my question. I rose to my feet and brushed the grass off of my pants. “Figures… so, where the heck am I?”

“Umm… well, I live in the city of Ponyville. Oh, my name is Pinkie Pie by the way, in case you want to call me by name, so what’s yours?”

“Back up,” I said pushing the small horse away. “Ponyville? I’ve never heard of it. What country is it in?”

“Equestria?” Why was she unsure of herself now?

“ Still nothing,” I mumbled. “I know of Equine summons, but I’ve never seen your race before. So, is it that your particular species cannot harness chakra?”

“Chak… ra? Summoning? What the hay are you babbling about guy?” She obviously wasn’t a ninja. Of course, there was the possibility her race hadn’t made a Summoning Contract yet either.

“Forget it,” I complained. “Just take me to Ponyville or whatever, maybe I can find a jutsu that’ll transport me back to Konoha.”

“Jutsu? We don’t have any magic teleporting juice, but we do have magic teleporting spells!”

“Spells?” I looked at her with a raised brow. She beamed back at me with the widest smile I ever saw. Put Jujo to shame for sure.

“You know, you still haven’t told me your name,” she said a moment later, pouting a little.

“And I forgot yours,” I replied flatly.

“It’s Pinkie Pie. Got that? Pink - E - PIE; say it with me, Piiiiiiinkie Piiiiiiie!”

“Pink Pie,” I said.

“Pinkie Pie,” she replied.

“Pee Pie,” I said again.

“Nonononono… Pink - E- Pie!” she stressed raising and then lowering her head.

“Whatever, just get me out of this field Pewdie Pie,” I yawned. What an overwhelming sense of peace. I actually yawned in an open field with a potential threat running around.

“If you won’t tell me your name, I’ll just have to give you a name,” Pini Pie said contemplating. She rubbed a hoof under her chin and studied me from the floor up.

“Are you done?” I asked. She rose from her seat and circled around me a few times. Suddenly her face lit up and she bounded high enough to meet me face-to-face.

“I know!” she shouted bouncing around. “I’ll call you, Greenie!” I almost threw up again.

“Greenie? That’s the best you could come up with?” I tried to hide my utter shock at her ridiculous statement.

“It’ll be Greenie unless I know your name.”

“Meh, fine. It’s Shikamaru,” I conceded.

“Shikamaru? Ha ha, that’s a funny name. Shikamaru~ Shikamaruuu~ Shika-shika-maru, Shika-shika-maru~ Whoo hoo!” I didn’t know what was more annoying. Her singing my name in every pitch imaginable, or her muzzle constantly knocking into my face.

“You know, Pinkie Pie isn’t too ordinary of a name itself,” I bit back.

“What?!” her face again rammed into mine. “I’ll have you know that Pinkie Pie is in fact a very normal name, and one of the bestest normal names I’ve ever had the pleasure of having!”

“You’ve had other names before?”

“No!” she replied with a raspberry. “Pinkie Pie is actually rather unique, unique to me anyway, like Shikamaru should be for you!”

I couldn’t figure out heads or tails from this horse. I sighed and placed my left hand over my face. I forgot why I had even begun talking to this thing in the first place. She drew me out into another world.

“Look, Pinkie Pie…”

“You can just call me Pinkie now, since you’ve got it,” she replied waving her hoof as if giving me permission.

“Okay, listen Pinkie,” I tried again, pausing for a moment. When she didn’t say anything, I continued, “I need to find a way to get back to my home. It’s very important that I make it back as soon as possible okay?”

“Well, why is so important?”

“Because, I was in the middle of chasing down a bad guy. Something happened and he brought me here, now I need to figure out what he did and how to reverse it. Then I can probably find him,” I explained thoroughly with hand gestures.

“Oh, does this bad guy look like you?” My first reaction was to turn around, but when I saw no one there I cocked my head back at Pinkie and gave her a scowl.

“Don’t scare me like that,” I sighed.

“Why would that scare you?”

“Because saying such a thing insinuates- Augh! Darn it, look, you’ve pulled me off track again!”

“Well sorry,” she said reeling back. “I’m just trying to get to know you better.”

“Well you can stop trying,” I said crossing my arms. “Which way to Ponyville?”

“Okay Mr. Greenie Maru, I’ll show you,” she said with a smile.

Finally!

“Just one thing?” she asked looking behind me now.

“Crap!” she wasn’t being ignorant this time. I spun about and withdrew Asuma’s chakra blades.

“Whoa there!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed backing up a little. “I was just gonna ask if he was your friend…” She gulped.

“Unless you’ve got any ninjutsu or magic or whatever, you’d better get lost,” I said to her without taking my eyes off of the burly ninja in front of me.

“How… about... I get lost?” she said. Pinkie sprung to her hooves, galloping away.

“A space-time ninjutsu, developed for the common ninja,” Jujo said with a grin. He placed his eyes on me shortly after Pinkie’s clopping vanished.

“Well, you’re going to take us back and then you’re going to pay for your crimes,” I replied.

“No teammates to help you here Shikamaru,” he gloated. “Show me that shrewd tact with no pieces on the board!”

Author's Note

Shikamaru gets a piece of everything in this chapter... hence the title. Eh? Ehh?!
Fine, it wasn't funny :ajbemused::unsuresweetie:

2. Out of the Frying Pan... Into the Pony

“Wind Release, Air Bullets!” Jujo puckered his lips and inhaled sharply. Blowing out, he exhaled small pockets of condensed air in my direction. Again I avoided the assault by ducking behind a trunk. The air volley tore through the forest, scattering wild animals and loose flora. Bark and leaves ricocheted in the chaos, knocking into me occasionally.

“There won’t be any more woods to hide in if this keeps up,” I said, peeking out from my spot. Jujo climbed into the thicket now, treading carefully by certain plants and trees. Did he know something I didn’t?

“Come on out Shikamaru,” he called in a sing-songy voice. “You know how great of a hunter I am.”

Not that great if he couldn’t see me here. At least in the darkness I would have the advantage. Jujo gave up his search and completed a succession of hand seals.

“Ninja Art: Sticky Fog!” A cloud of white mist expelled from his mouth and snaked its way around the forest. His attack forced me to move from my spot. As the mist floated by, it clung onto a flying insect. The bug struggled to free itself, buzzing about wildly.

This guy is a pain, I thought backing up some more. He molded the mist around his body and began storming through the forest again.

I bent down and relaxed my shoulders. Flipping my palms upward, I placed my fingertips together and closed my eyes. The heaving in my chest slowed and the thumping of my heart dropped. The forest began to shrink away into a dark empty void. Suddenly my mind opened, painting the scene in a deep black cloud. With one final exhale, I began to write on the blank slate.

Four… three… two… one. I invited the world back into my head. Just in time it seemed.

“Heh, now I’ve got you,” he shouted. “Your Shadow Possession won’t work in such a dense forest. Not to mention, you’re trapped by my Sticky Fog Jutsu.”

All he seemed to do was talk. That was fine though; all I needed to do was bide my time. He was right about my Shadow Possession, I wouldn’t be able to use any of my other shadow techniques while moving either, but there was more than one technique I had in my book.

I jumped from my hiding spot and launched two kunai knives at him. He laughed and stood in place as the mist latched onto the ninja tools and froze them in midair.

“Thanks,” he remarked with a grunt. “I’ll hold onto these until I’ve got you in the same jutsu!” He charged and I retreated.

The fog drew closer, keeping a small orbit around its caster as he moved about. Further and further I had to back away, and the forest was becoming less cluttered as we moved on.

“So, you’re reduced to running like a coward huh? Why don’t you show me that rising fighting spirit of yours? You had some of it before.” We had finally reached a clearing.

“Alright then, I’ll show you some of that spirit!” I released the latch on my vest and a scroll fell into the palm of my hand. I launched it into the air over Jujo, summoning a hailstorm of shuriken. He raised his arms, catching the falling weapons with his jutsu. That annoying grin still dwelled over his face.

“Are you hoping that I get tangled in the vines or something with all of this around me?” He lowered his arms and readied the mist to throw the weapons back.

“You really do talk too much,” I said, clasping my hands together. The shuriken around Jujo transformed into small leaflets of paper.

“Explosive tags?!” He quickly repulsed his jutsu, spreading the slips of paper throughout the forest and thinning the mass of mist around him. The tags ignited, lighting up the forest in a giant blaze. Jujo’s mist evaporated from the flames.

Now! “Shadow Sewing Jutsu!” My shadow raced for Jujo’s body. He jumped backward, laughing at the attempt I had made to bind him, but I couldn’t help but smile as well. My shadow latched onto the two kunai he had dropped when the mist faded and tossed it in his direction.

“How well can you dodge in midair?” I asked. He swung his arms over, covering the vital areas of his chest. The two knives penetrated his body, one in his left arm and the other into his right hand. Jujo landed on the ground and removed the kunai from his palm.

“So you hit me, what’s the big deal? I’ve taken papercuts worse than this!”

“I dunno, you tell me,” I said, forming a hand sign. Jujo’s body tensed and he glared at me with a burning hate. Not once, but twice had he been subject to my shadows. “Look carefully,” I gloated. It felt good. “There’s a piece of thread hanging on the end of that kunai.”

“You bastard,” he growled. I smiled and walked closer. He did the same.

“I attached it with my Shadow Sewing after it grabbed the first one. Being unable to dodge in the air, I knew you’d have no choice but to defend your vitals.” I withdrew one of Asuma’s blades and slipped the weapon comfortably into my hand.

“So, you’ll kill me now?”

“I don’t see why not. You’ve tried to kill me more than once already.”

“How will you manage to lug my body around?”

“ If I bring back your headband, it’ll be more than enough proof that you don’t exist anymore.” I retrieved his forehead protector with a shadow and placed it in my pouch.

“You don’t intend on walking now do you?” I found it a little more than enjoyable that he actually thought I was without a solution to this problem.

“I met someone who’ll help me once I’m done here. Now, quit your talking.”

“This isn’t like you Shikamaru, you’re not a cold blooded killer.” I see now, he was trying to psyche me out. He was right, I wasn’t a cold blooded killer.

“I’m not doing this in cold blood,” I responded. His face contorted in surprise. “You threatened more than my life when you committed your crime. You threatened my village. There’s no way I can leave a scumbag like you hanging around, even if we’re stranded miles away from Konoha.”

“You sound too much like Asuma, you know that?” I raised the blade up to his neck.

“And I told you if you spoke his name again without reverence, I’d kill you myself.”

I stayed my hand. Something from the side caught my attention, lurking about in the woods. Jujo looked as well, though not necessarily by choice.

“What are you looking at?” he asked irritably.

I concentrated in the thicket, scanning the area for any movement. I didn’t remember seeing anything resembling a dangerous animal as we engaged inside the forest. There also seemed to be nothing aside from birds and bugs inhabiting the area. So, why did I feel so uneasy all of a sudden.

“Something is hunting us,” I said aloud. Jujo chuckled.

“So what now? we’re going to work together to escape the forest like some cheesy-” My Shadow Possession had turned into a Shadow Strangle then. I moved the bind up to his neck and mouth and constricted the area tight enough for a few mumbles to seep out every now and then. With that out of the way, I continued my scan.

Where are you? What are you? My eyes could not pierce through the darkness all around. I didn’t realize how overgrown the area was. Even considering the fact that it was a clearing, it remained cluttered with various plant life. My eye caught another swift motion in the trees and I turned around. Whatever it was, it got closer that time.

I could feel my shadow waning now. I had to act fast. Jujo would be killed and then I would deal with whatever this thing was. I lowered my Shadow Strangle to his neck and wrapped the dark hand around it. My hands formed the appropriate seal and I released an extensive amount of chakra into the technique.

“Shadow Strang-” was all I could say as a large serpent tore through the thicket and charged straight at us. I had no choice but to release the fool. Jujo dodged the attack as quickly as I did. The giant serpent snaked around and hissed madly at the two of us.

“Fire Style: Giant Phoenix Bomb!” Jujo released. The snake reared its head up and arched its body back. As Jujo’s attack got closer, the serpent opened its mouth and inhaled the massive fireball. It clamped its jaws shut and its eyes changed into a fiery red. The snake erupted in flames and I could almost swear it was grinning at Jujo.

“What the hell? I’ve never seen that kind of snake before.” I covered my face from the raging flames that danced upon the snake’s spine. It burned brighter than anything I had ever seen and boasted a solar mane around its neck.

“Ninja Art,” Jujo shouted forming a hand seal, but the serpent hissed loudly and brought its head down. It struck faster than I could blink and when I had opened my eyes, I saw it swallow something.

“Are you serious?” I accidently shouted. The serpent jerked in my direction and hissed again. It lunged at me, mouth gaped open and ready to consume its other target. I only had enough time to dodge the attack. The flaming serpent whipped around and roared now, gathering a spring of flames within its throat.

What do I do now? There’s literally no time to think of a counter strategy! I braced myself for the breath of flames, but was suddenly pulled to the ground and shut silent by a pink hoof.

“Mnky?!” I mumbled.

“Shh!” she hissed. “Basilisks are attracted to sound and movement. If you keep quiet and stay still it can’t see you!” Damn it this was crazy, but I found myself obeying the pony’s command.

Realizing its prey was no longer panicking, the basilisk closed its jaw and searched about for me. The flames over its body began to die, and soon it returned to the scaly blue reptile from before.

Attracted to movement and sound? I thought snakes sensed things with their tongues?” I looked at Pinkie Pie who was looking straight back at me. Her hoof still resided over my mouth. She shook her head and made a zipping motion with her free hoof I nodded, unsure of the effectiveness of hiding under the enemy’s nose.

The basilisk hissed lowly, flickering its tongue now. I thought for sure it would sniff us out, but instead it found a tree and began licking at the trunk. I had never observed such strange behavior before. After it seemed content with itself, the basilisk slithered away, disappearing deep into the dark of the woods.

“What was that all about?” I asked, after Pinkie released me.

“Basilisks… really scary. They can turn into whatever they eat, and they mark their territory with the spit on their tongue!” She said that last part while holding hers.

“Well, thanks,” I panted. I felt like I should have said more, but in all honesty, that was all I could think of. My mind was still processing a snake exploding into flames and eating a man.

“You look like you went rolling in the dirt!” she exclaimed peeking around me now.

“I got a little dirty,” I replied.

“Hey, where’s that other guy? The one you took that knife out on?”

“That’s not important,” I said, remembering we were still in the midst of that thing. If it had marked its territory as well, there was a good chance it would be back. “We can talk outside of the woods.”

“Okie dokie, but you gotta follow me Shikamaru,” she said bounding away. I reached into my pouch and felt around. My hands glided over some fabric and I sighed, Jujo’s headband was still there. I allowed Pinkie to gain some distance before I followed, convincing myself that this had to be the most ridiculous mission I had ever been on.

“Oh well, mission complete I guess.” I turned around, almost waiting for that man to burst out of the shadows and surprise me with a face full of snake guts. I wanted to believe he was gone now. Then again, man’s been eaten alive and returned, so I had my doubts.

“Hey! Shikamaru! Are you coming?” Pinkie’s voice ripped through the trees. WAsn’t the basilisk still nearby?! A low hiss in the shadows prompted me to catch up with the leaping pony.

***

“What were you doing in there?” I finally asked. We had been walking for a while, but I had remained silent while she was explaining to me the ins-and-outs of that Everfree Forest.

“Well, I galloped away when you told me to, but then I realized that if you were trouble I had to help! So I went back and you were gone, and I thought maybe you entered the Everfree Forest, but then maybe you didn’t. Then I remembered you weren’t from here and didn’t know about its dangers so I went inside to find you...”

I could pretty much sum up the rest of the story in a single sentence, though her retelling took almost twenty lines. Amazingly enough, she was still talking about the experience in the woods.

“...and then I heard a huge explosion and followed the sound until I saw you fighting that basilisk!”

“Do you make it a habit to run towards danger like that?”

“Oh yeah, I even have a song about it!”

“Please don’t sing,” I groaned. “I was being ironic.”

“Hey, that isn’t nice! Is that why the basilisk attacked you?” the intrigue in her tone leveled up. “They also don’t attack unless someone is being mean to them. Were you being mean to him? What about your friend, was he mean to him?”

“Pinkie Pie,” I sighed, “How about we just walk the rest of the way quietly, eh?”

“Quiet? What a draaaag!”

Did she really just say-?”

“There’s no fun in being quiet!”

“I would bet you on that, but from what I’ve gathered, I’d probably lose.” I was really getting irritated now. Not only did she steal my favorite line, but she had some sassy remark to get back at my latest comment. Women. Even in a differing species they were still the same… a right troublesome pain.

Ponyville came into view now. I was expecting to find some sort of sacred grove or maybe even perhaps an illustrious pasture of different sized horses, but the urban establishments and social advances (I assumed of which were high because we were in the middle of a bartering exchange) challenged my beliefs.

“This is Ponyville?” I looked around. Tiny horses of different color with strange markings on their flanks. I had thought that maybe Pinkie was just being unique and fulfilling her quirky nature by tattooing balloons on her butt, but I see now that it may be a sign of something else.

“Yes, Ponyville! Over there is my friend Twilight’s library. She has all sorts of spells there.” There was that word again, spells. Why didn’t they say jutsu?

“Alright, let’s go see if she has a juts- err, spell to take me home.”

“WAIT!” Pinkie’s exclamation startled me to the floor.

“What?”

“I haven’t given you the tour of Ponyville yet. You can’t step into Ponyville without a tour.”

You can’t be serious…

“Oh but I am!”

I pretended that I didn’t catch the fact that she seemed to have read my thoughts. Any more expounding on the “wonders” of this horse was going to pervert my rational mind.

“I don’t have time for this Pinkie Pie,” I said, standing up. She bounced up in front of me and grabbed onto my face.

“OF COURSE there’s time. Just a quick tour, and then I promise we’ll go see Twilight!”

“Let go of my face.” Her mane smelled of frosting and candy. Our close proximity allowed me the luxury of determining if it really was cotton candy covering her head. I removed her from her perch and set the pony down in front of me. “I don’t need a tour right now. I need to find a way to get back to Konoha.”

“What’s so great about a village made of leaves?” she pouted.

“It’s not made of leaves,” I explained again. “It’s hidden in the leaves.”

“So what, is it under a giant pile? That just seems ridiculous.”

“You’re being ridiculous right now,” I said rubbing my temples.

“How does a village of leaves stay hidden if the land is always on fire?”

“You know something, I’d like to know the name of that building over there,” I said between clenched teeth. Her face lit up several shades of happy and she bounded over to the right, cheering excessively. I tried to make out the words, but lost interest after “Greenie weenie.”

“I’ve never seen a creature like you before!” one of the other ponies in town stopped me. Her examination attracted the attention of a few more. “So… tall!”

“Is he a troll?”

“Is he a he?”

“It doesn’t have any fur!”

So, this is what it’s come to… stuck in a foreign nation with a bunch of reject summons and their prodding and poking at my side. God I need to get home…

Lost in my train thought, I had looked all around and lost sight of Pinkie. Was that good or bad? No doubt she would try to come look for me. I contemplated hiding or simply making a run for the library. Then again, it would be hard to miss me in a sea of colorful tiny horses.

She did also save my life. I guess a show of the town wouldn’t hurt… Speaking of sea, these crazy horses were all gathered around me, just staring and mumbling to themselves. Fish out of water seemed inappropriate as an expression here. A walking fish would even fit in better than me. I saw Pinkie Pie returning now, and I pushed my way out of the crowd.

“Shikamaru, I thought I lost you. Come on, I’m going to take you to my place first! Then, we’ll visit all of my friends and you can become their friends too! I know you’ll all get along. We always get along, and if I get along with you, you’ll get along with them!”

“I’ve got a lot of friends at home,” I said raising my hands. “It’s nice meeting new people, but unless we’ll be relying on each other in mortal combat, I’d prefer if we just had a simple tour.”

“You can never have enough friends!” Her hoof rested over her heart and she looked at the ground. A sudden assortment of other equines surrounded her and began rocking back and forth. I didn’t like where this was going. Pinkie opened her mouth and I did the same. My utterance, however, was not as serenading. Neither did I rhyme, or dance about. I should have taken the songwriting warning more seriously.

My mouth slowly closed, and I found myself being pulled here and there, up and down, in and out; there wasn’t one spot in the entire village that I was forbidden from seeing or visiting. Finally Pinkie ended with a high note, landing on the ground with her forelegs raised in the air, a big smile on her face. I really hoped they didn’t do that too often here. I just wanted to know what that one building was.

“That was…”

“Lookie, we’re here at Twilight’s house!” she interrupted.

“Yes, I know… there was a whole verse about it…”

“Okay ShikaShika, let’s officially meet Twilight and get you home! Well, I mean I already know her, but you don’t.” She giggled a little before bounding inside.

“What a drag,” I moaned. I had to stoop down a little to enter the library, but inside I was allowed enough room to stand and not feel like the grumpy green giant that I was outside. (Those were Pinkie’s words, not mine.)

“Twilight! Twilight! Oh, come here, I have someone you have to meet!” She skidded off downstairs, allowing me a moment to breathe. I walked over to the nearest bookshelf and looked at some of the titles. Very strange and bizarre, to say the least.

Colt Therapy? Archaic Spells for the Common Egghead. How to Train your Baby Dragon? Equestrian History…. I removed the book from the shelf and flipped it open to the index. My eyes scanned the pages until I found what I was looking for. I flipped through again, coming to a section regarding the land itself.

Equestria, Land of the Ponies. Founded by the three tribes… pre Celestial Age… Nightmare Moon… dominant inhabitants include three different types of ponies, Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth Ponies. Unicorns? Pegasi? You mean with horns and wings?

“What kind of weird place is this? Unicorns aren’t real…” I flipped the pages over again and found a small print of the geographical region. Equestria was a large country for sure, and it seemed to not border any familiar villages or territories. Moving over another page, I found a map of a larger area. More expanses of land separated by seas and mountains.

Equestria can’t be this big… but this can’t be the map of the world… Where’s the Land of Fire? Where’s Sunagakure? Heck, Even the Land of Shadows should be here…

My thoughts replayed in my mind from the moment I had been sucked into Equestria until now. I thought it odd that Pinkie didn’t know about ninjas or summoning, but then again I figured the race was just excluded from the rest of the world. Suddenly her ignorance placed another worrisome seed in the back of my head; one that I hoped to rule out from the very moment I arrived. There was the very slight possibility that…

“He’s up here, come on!” I heard from down below. I looked up and saw Pinkie hop out of the doorway and into the room. She moved over to my side, and I heard another set of hooves against the floor down the stairs.

“Pinkie Pie, I hope you realize your little friend is pulling me away from my important studies for the princess,” the voice berated. It wasn’t just me who thought she was a little annoying then.

“C’mon! I know you’ll like him!”

“Is that Twilight?” I wondered as I could finally make out a form. My mouth dropped at the sight. Another pony, yes, but this one had on the top of its forehead a spiraled extension of itself.

“A horn..? A Unicorn?!”

“Meet Twilight Sparkle!” Pinkie exclaimed happily. Twilight seemed just as shocked to see me. “She can help you get back home!”

“Unicorns… don’t exist,” I reasoned, grabbing my head.

“What are you talking about silly? What about those other ponies you met in town?” I honestly hadn’t noticed anything then. I was more concerned with drowning out her singing than paying attention to the choir.

“Pinkie! Who is this? What is this?” Twilight began trotting around me, studying me up and down as Pinkie had done before.

“This is Shikamaru! He’s a ninja from the Lettuce Village!”

“A ninja?” Twilight backed away. Her horn began to glow and from the table to the side, a quill and piece of paper rose into the air. So, was this the magic Pinkie Pie was talking about earlier? She didn’t need to perform any seals and I felt no surge of chakra escape into the room.

“As I seem to be the only human in the area for miles,” I began, “I can say I’m just as surprised as you. I don’t encounter many tiny colorful horses back where I come from. Plenty of toads… but not horses.” Twilight began to scrawl furiously onto the floating parchment.

“What an incredible discovery! A new species never before seen in Equestria! Pinkie Pie, you’ve really stumbled onto something great!” She trotted up to me and cleared her throat. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, student of the illustrious Princess Celestia, and as such it is my duty to record this moment and present my findings to the princess for the betterment of my society.”

“I’m not a monkey,” I replied. “You can’t just say such things and expect me to let you probe me.”

“Tell me, how big is that village of lettuce? And wouldn’t it be impractical to live in such a community?” She waited for me to say something. I stared back, unable to fully understand what had happened. I looked over to Pinkie who held the same expression as Twilight. I could tell this wasn’t going to just be a simple request to go home.

“What a drag,” I sighed, and took a seat.

3. Afternoon of Ponyville

“Okay, I think I got it this time. Are you ready Shikamaru?” I wasn’t. I peered at Twilight suspiciously, wondering if maybe she was purposely avoiding sending me home.

“Can I at least take the pain killer before you fry me again?”

“Would you like another glass of water Mr. Shikamaru?” Ah, Spike. The only one that didn’t instantly freak out and objectively survey me like an alien. I took the glass from his claw and downed the pills I was able to recover from my burning Journeyman vest. Pinkie Pie remained in the corner, assuring me that my weapons, scrolls, and other hazardous tools would be returned to their former state when she was done with them. Twilight had to keep moving my chin to face her all the while.

“Okay, I’ve cross-referenced the data we’ve collected from our previous studies with the transformation spells from this book. We should be able to do something constructive now.” She didn’t bother to look at me while she spoke, and that ticked me off some.

“Why don’t you just make a portal for Shikamaru to go through? I’m pretty sure there are spells like that here,” Spike suggested from the side.

“We already tried that Spike,” Twilight scolded looking up now. “All three times Shikamaru teleported somewhere else in Equestria and then returned with some sort of bruise from wherever the spell took him.”

“I’ve had it with my molecules being zipped about your country,” I sighed at Spike. “Twilight cast a spell to pinpoint the location of Konoha in relation to your home. Until then, she’s also trying alternative routes.”

“The spell can take almost a whole day. It’s a very complicated reference system. I’d explain it but I’m sure I’d bore you with the details.”

“Hasn’t stopped you before,” Spike mumbled sitting next to me.

“Hey Shikamaru, what is this thing?” I turned around and almost knocked Spike down clambering over to Pinkie Pie.

“Don’t touch that! It’s a highly sensitive flash bomb!”

“Ooh, so it’s like a big party light?”

No you dunce, it’s a flash grenade! “Gimme that,” I said and swiped it away. I gathered my tools and set them aside, instructing her to not meddle any further. She was lucky I didn’t set the explosive tags to blow after you unwrapped them.

“Whoa, some of those knives look as sharp as my spines. Mind if I see one?” Spike asked lifting himself over the table.

“Yes actually, I do mind.”

“Hey, this isn’t dangerous is it?” Pinkie Pie lifted one of scrolls from my vest pouch.

“Pinkie Pie, that’s a summoning tome, and yes it is dangerous. Please put it back,” I instructed taking it up.

“What does it summon? A dragon? Maybe a ball of spikes? Ooh Ooh! Maybe a spiky dragon!”

“Hey, you don’t need two of me now do you?” Spike asked twirling one of my kunai. I confiscated the weapon and he chuckled nervously.

“Shikamaru, get back in the circle!” Twilight shouted. I groaned. This mare was more demanding than a few certain women in my life. I set my tools aside and I found myself trudging over to the spell spot, constantly looking back to make sure Pinkie and Spike weren’t fooling around.

“Hope you got something good because it looks like Pinkie is about to flood your library,” I warned as the pink pony loosened another scroll.

“I think I know what the problem is,” Twilight said trotting over to me. “It’s got to be your unusual anatomy.”

“It’s only unusual to you you know,” I remarked with a raised brow.

“I know that, just let me finish,” she scolded.

I wanted to say something, but I felt any attempt to do so would have been immediately rebuked.

“So, I’ve found a spell that will make it easier for my magic to affect you. By altering your physiology to match that of a pony, I should be able to warp my magic about you without too many severe consequences.”

“There’s an awful lot of hypotheticals in there,” I said in vain. Twilight hurried over to her books and referenced them a few times before igniting her horn.

“Are you ready?”

“I don’t think I have a choice,” I replied, tensing up. Twilight lowered her head and shot a magic beam at me. My body burned upon contact, but I could not scream. I felt myself being lifted into the air and tossed about. A swirling array of color surrounded me, and I suddenly found myself spinning faster and faster around the room. Eventually the spinning stopped and I fell hard onto the library floor.

“Hey Shikamaru, are you alright?” Spike asked running over to me.

“Take… take that off,” I groaned. The baby dragon had tied Jujo’s forehead protector around his neck.

“Uh.. sure…” he said backing away as I rose from the ground.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Shikamaru!” Twilight said running over to me.

“That’s okay… for the hundredth time it’s okay Twilight,” I said shaking my head. It felt heavier for some reason. I lifted my arm and rubbed my temples. Strange… why can’t I bend my fingers?

“Wow! Twilight, what did you do?!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed hurrying over to me.

“I tried to make him more pony-like,” she answered. Her response forced me to make my way to the mirror. Of course I was tripping over my hooves along the way.

“I swear if I’m some sort of four-legged freak,” I shouted. I couldn’t quite control the output of my gallop and ended up sliding towards the mirror in front of me. I tried to stop myself by gripping the floor, however my antlers proved sufficient enough as brakes.

“You’re a deer now!” Spike exclaimed.

Duly noted. “I said to take that off!” I moaned, struggling to my hoo- nope, gonna say feet.

“Well, I meant to turn you into a pony, but I think maybe I mixed something up somewhere,” Twilight observed trotting over to her mess again.

“How long until I turn back,” I asked, shaking awkwardly in place. It was taking all of my power to not fall.

“I don’t know,” Twilight answered sheepishly. My eye twitched.

“I would like it if you knew Twilight,” I said jerking my head back up. My antlers weighed me down on the other side now.

“Well it says here that it could last anywhere from a few minutes to few days.”

“A few days as a deer? At least you’ll fit in with the crowd somewhat,” Spike giggled. I wanted to knock him on the spot.

“This is so cool!” Pinkie Pie grabbed my neck and caused me to flail my new legs about. She brought her face close to mine and squeezed. “Now Shikamaru can be a part of the herd!”

“Don’t be ridiculous Pinkie,” Twilight entered, flipping through the pages of a book. “He’s still a human, he’s just got a deer body now.” For once I agreed with what Twilight said.

“If you let me go, I’ll fall,” I told Pinkie. She set me back up so I had assumed a noble standing pose. It was annoying, but at least I wasn’t so shaky anymore. “What now genius?”

“I’m working on that, first let me record this moment. Spike, take a letter.” Spike hurried over and began scrawling all of Twilight’s ramblings. Pinkie Pie marched in front of me now, critically observing me up and down.

“What?” She squinted after I had asked her that question.

“Hold your chin up,” she said.

“Why?”

“It’ll help with the antlers I bet.” I obeyed and sure enough the weight above my head evened out. Even so, it was beginning to put a strain on the back of my neck now. Suddenly the door to the library opened and another unicorn trotted in. She appeared female in nature (great…) and moved with such elegance it’d put a feudal lord to shame.

“Twilight? Darling you’re late for our weekly fitting!” The new unicorn stopped then and looked at me with wide eyes. I tried to do the same, but the position I was in made it hard to move my eyes without my neck.

“Rarity!” Pinkie Pie shouted elatedly and bounced about. “Rarity look, this is my new friend, Shikamaru!”

“That’s debatable,” I said quickly.

“Shika...maru? Where did you meet him?” I had to look now. I recognized that tone of voice in a woman.

“He was outside the Everfree Forest. He’s from the Land of Fire and lives in a village that’s hiding in some leaves. Oh, he’s also a ninja and…”

“Quite possibly the manliest stag I’d ever laid eyes on,” Rarity finished.

What? Oh God no.

“Hey, Rarity’s here,” Spike shouted running up to her.

“Ooh, how’s my little Spikey Wikey?” she cooed. I was even more confused now. Didn’t she like male ponies? Twilight trotted up to the other unicorn and apologized.

“So sorry Rarity, it’s just that we were trying to find a way to send Shikamaru home. You see, he’s not from here.” Twilight was furiously pulled up close to Rarity’s face then.

“Send him home?” She whispered something unintelligible and released Twilight. “Ahem, allow me to introduce myself. I am Rarity, the most regal pony in all of Ponyville!”

Oh, she was that kind of woman…

“Nice to meet you, Rarity.” I felt such a name was a cop out for her personality. I was beginning to think that of all the ponies now… and Spike.

“And, what might you have been doing so close to such a dangerous place?”

“I don’t think I should tell you,” I replied. I was building up the wall fast. You had to with these types. It was the only way.

“Oh poo, you won’t indulge me?” She blinked a few times. I could see Spike frowning out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to apologize.

“It’s too much of a bother really, and I don’t feel like explaining it.” That would do it.

“Very well, it’s none of my business to meddle into the affairs of other ponies, ohh I mean, other stags.” Did she really think she was being cute? It was actually coming off as annoying now.

“I hope we can reschedule,” Twilight said to Rarity.

“Anytime dear, just let me know. Besides, I’d like to help out our new friend here with his… predicament.”

“We’ve got enough help. Let’s let Pinkie and the Brain work okay?” I was trying to be coarse again. Damn it though, it seemed to turn her on even more.

“Oh, you don’t know do you darling? I am the Element of Generosity! I cannot allow you to suffer in your plight being the generous individual that I am,” she said gleefully. I snorted involuntarily.

“Twilight, change me back.”

“I can’t, we have to wait for the spell to run out. Besides, I want to try some more teleporting magic now that you share some sort of pony quality with us,” she responded while reading from two books.

“Oh my, that’s quite the shaft,” Rarity said, peeking over Twilight’s shoulder. I was going to be sick.

“You’re turning green again Shikamaru!” Pinkie Pie laughed.

“Not with envy I bet, unlike some of us,” Spike growled.

“Okay, Spike, get ready. Shikamaru, you too,” Twilight said shutting the books. Her horn lit up and she released another bright beam in my direction. The magic felt warm this time, and I could see the room begin to shift out of focus. Instantly the library vanished and I found myself surrounded by clouds.

The euphoria was short lived. As surreal as the experience was, the clouds began to rise and I felt a large pit in my chest. This was not fantasy, and I was pretty sure even in this place, deer couldn’t fly. My body flailed about as I tried to orient myself in midair. I couldn’t tell a hoof, from an antler, to my body.

Crap, crap, crap! Could I still perform jutsu? Even if I could, there would be nothing I possessed that would soften my fall, at least not from this height! I could only hope this spell would be like the rest and zap me back to the library any second.

Suddenly a figure in the sky came into view, zooming at me fast. The last thing I needed was to get hit by a bird or something! I saw a trail of color hold fast onto the tail of the rocketing blur. Pretty soon I could focus on its form and not to my surprise, it was another pony.

“HEY!” Hopefully he would see me. I began moving my limbs about again, and for a moment the figure watched me questionably. I shouted again and it jumped, soaring for me soon after. The flying pony rammed into me, holding on tight with her (great, another girl) hooves.

“What the hay are you doing in the air?!”

“It’s a long story!” I shouted over the breaking wind. “Do you know where Ponyville is?!”

“Yeah!” she shouted back. “I live there!”

“Good! I need to go back to Twilight Sparkle’s Library!”

“Twilight?! You know Twilight?!”

Our shouting competition ended as the rainbow maned pegasus neared the large treehouse. She dropped me on the floor and I stumbled about woozily before vomiting again.

“Heh, too fast for ya Pointy?” I wanted to hit her, but my stomach had other plans. She laughed again and I fell on my knees. “Sorry bud, the name’s Rainbow Dash. Fastest flyer in Equestria, and you got to experience that first hoof!”

“How… lucky,” I groaned. Twilight’s door flung open and the three ponies and Spike circled me.

“Shikamaru? What happened?” Twilight asked, pen and pad ready.

“Go… away,” I panted, rising slowly.

“He got a free ticket to the Rainbow Bullet Blitz, courtesy of me,” Rainbow Dash said bowing. “So what were you doing in the air in the first place?” I pointed at Twilight.

“Shikamaru is a human from a different nation, not one I’ve heard of before. We were trying to figure out where his home was,” Twilight explained.

“That doesn’t explain why he was free falling, and what the heck’s a human? He looks like a deer to me,” Rainbow said.

“A human is a bipedal pink primate without a tail,” Rarity said in disgust. “Personally, I prefer Shikamaru as he is.”

“He’s also a ninja!” Pinkie Pie entered.

“A ninja? Pfft, bwahahaha! Ninjas aren’t real!” Rainbow fell to the floor in laughter.

“Another one of your friends Pinkie Pie?” I asked. My head was finally clearing.

“Yep! This is…”

“Rainbow Dash,” I finished. “Fastest flyer in Equestria.”

“You know it!” she gloated, jumping back up. “I guess one of Twilight’s crazy spells sent you to the sky. I caught him free falling over my house.”

“So that’s what happened? I don’t understand… I thought the spell would’ve teleported you back home,” Twilight mused.

“Well, it didn’t work. Like all your other spells. Now then, if you’ll excuse me…” I began but stopped. My body twitched painfully and I rose into the air again. I was beginning to hate the sky with every passing moment. I dropped back onto the floor, this time landing on my hands and feet.

“Whoa, that was weird,” Rainbow commented.

“He’s actually not all that bad looking still,” Rarity said with a hoof under her chin.

“That’s Shika’s real body,” Pinkie Pie said. “See, he’s got these things called fingers, and toes, and a round head, and-” I flipped around on my rear, sitting on the grass and leaning my head back. I allowed Pinkie to explain my ins-and-outs to Rainbow Dash, she of course being skeptical of the many ninja-related parts of my description.

“If he’s really a ninja, he’ll prove it to me,” Rainbow said peering at me with a raised brow.

“No he won’t and he doesn’t have to,” I answered.

“Oh what’s the matter? I already saved your life, don’t have the guts to beat me and reclaim your… er, stallion-hood?” She posed in front of me and waved her tail about.

“That would be it,” I replied with a sigh. She had to do a double take.

“What? You don’t care that I totally challenged your authority and embarrassed you by saving your life?”

“Actually, I’m more embarrassed that I let Twilight experiment on me in the first place,” I said. “I’m grateful you saved my life, but there’s nothing I can do that will make you see me as above you, especially if you’re going to keep that attitude around.” She took a seat, mouth gaped open. “Even if I do beat you at something, you’ll try to challenge my authority then, and that requires me to keep thinking of some way to stay above you, and personally, that’s too much of a drag to keep account of.”

“Where did you meet this guy Pinkie?” Rainbow asked.

“Near the Everfree Forest. He lives in a forest too you know, made of leaves.” She stood next to Dash and waved her hoof in front of the pegasus’s face. “Dashie? You okay?”

“I think he broke her ego,” Spike said with a chuckle. Twilight swatted him.

“If it’s all the same, I’d rather not be experimented upon anymore, saved from imminent death, and dreamily thought about,” I complained, rising to my feet. “I only agreed to come to Ponyville because I thought this unicorn would have a way to send me back home. Since that’s not the case, I’ll be leaving.”

“Wait!” Pinkie Pie shouted grabbing on my pants. “We have to wait for the location spell, remember?”

“Actually,” I said removing her grip, “I’m going to find a completed map in Twilight’s library and just walk. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Rarity shouted now. “You’ve only just arrived! I haven’t, err, I mean we haven’t the pleasure of getting to know you aside from Pinkie Pie.”

“I promise I won’t run anymore tests if you stay,” Twilight said tossing her quill. “We just need to figure out something once the location spell finishes.”

“Why are you all so intent on having me stay?” I wondered.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind if you left. You’re just weird,” Rainbow said fluttering in the air.

“Well, we’re friends aren’t we?” I studied Pinkie’s face for a moment, and the realization that her statement was legitimate had me torn.

“I wouldn’t say that,” I answered then.

“Why not? I thought we had something here!” She seemed confused. Almost as if she didn’t know what to do. That was a first, at least since I’ve met her.

“Look, I’m not saying you’re a bad per… pony Pinkie,” I said. “Thanks for helping me back there with the basilisk, and also for being concerned enough to bring me to Twilight, but it takes much more than that to be considered a friend where I’m from.”

“What kind of crazy world do you live in?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“It’s an unforgiving one, I’ll tell you that,” I replied, looking down. I reached into my pocket and felt out Asuma’s lighter. “Look, the point is that Pinkie helped me out and I’m grateful, but I can’t really call her my friend since I barely know anything about her. Also, a friend where I come from does a lot more than just nice things.”

“Saving your life is a lot more than nice,” Rainbow objected.

“Even so, were any of you in the same situation I wouldn’t hesitate to try and save you. That doesn’t mean we’d be friends however. I just met you ponies,” I reasoned. I hoped that was a good enough explanation.

“Okay then,” Pinkie Pie said. I didn’t believe her that it was ‘okay.’ “Could you at least stay the night? I know you gotta be hungry, and pretty tired.”

“You can stay at my place,” Rarity piped in. “I’ve got plenty of extra covers.”

“No thanks,” I pushed. I’ll be damned though, they pushed even harder.

“You have to try the apples from Sweet Apple Acres!” Pinkie chimed in.

“Wait, I’m sure the princesses will want to meet you too! I’ll send them a letter right now,” Twilight said.

“Shikamaru darling, you can’t leave without telling me how you get your hair to stay like that!” Rarity spoke.

“Yeah, I also want to see some of those cool ninja moves!” Spike interjected.

“If he even has them,” Rainbow remarked.

The cacophony of voices grew louder and louder. I couldn’t stand the noise anymore. My hands folded together and formed several seals. From below, the shadows of the five bodies rose out of their plane and wrapped firmly around their little mouths. Every pony remained still.

“That’s called Shadow Impersonation Jutsu, one of my ninja tricks,” I explained. “I manipulate your shadow so that it does what I want it to, like keeping you all quiet so I can give you my answer.”

No one struggled and I released the jutsu. As a countermeasure though, I still held them in place with my Shadow Possession.

“That… was… awesome,” Rainbow Dash uttered. Spike nodded.

“Okay, I’ve decided to stay, only because Pinkie brought up a valid point. I am a little hungry,” I said, hoping that it was a good enough excuse. I released the Shadow Possession. The moment I dropped the jutsu every pony surrounded me quicker than a magnet to a fridge.

What is this place? Why is everyone so…? What a pain.

***

“Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner!” Pinkie blew a party horn and released some confetti into the air. I brushed the debris off of my shoulder as she leapt happily about.

“You live above a pastry shop? Kind of like my friend Ino, except she owns a flower shop,” I said, looking around. The area was particularly small compared to Twilight’s house, but I wasn’t going to risk some late night escapade to probe my bowels if I stayed back there.

“This is so great,” she exclaimed running over to her closet. Upon opening the door, a column of balloons and part supplies poured out of the space. She removed a large inflatable object from the mess and filled it up in one breath.

“Quite the party animal,” I commented.

“Oh pssh, you have no idea,” she replied setting the inflated castle down. “Well, here’s your bed!”

“My bed? You don’t have like a couch, or something that won’t explode if I sit on it?” I pressed my hand against the jump castle and while it did feel secure, I didn’t want to risk getting strangled in the massive folds of plastic in the middle of the night.

“Okay, if you don’t want to sleep in there, I will! You can have my bed.” Pinkie bounded inside the castle and began springing about, laughing the entire time. I walked over to her bed and sighed. It was no better. Sure it looked comfortble, but if I got into that thing I wasn’t sure if I’d come out with sprinkles and frosting all over my face. Not only that, but it was only about the size of my torso and head.

“I’ll take the castle,” I said, stopping Pinkie then.

“Great! Oooh this will be the bestest sleepover ever! We get to talk more and become closer and then probably laugh together and then you’ll become my friend!”

“Is that all you’re really concerned about?”

“Hey,” she said rather defensively. “I happen to be everypony’s friend in this entire town. All of these ponies are my friends, not just the ones you met today.”

“How is that even possible? It’s obvious you spend more time with Twilight and the others,” I argued. I stepped into the castle and wobbled a little.

“That doesn’t make anypony else less of a friend,” she replied, crossing her forelegs.

“Fine, can we just sleep?” I asked. Pinkie rolled her eyes and marched off. I sat in the mini bounce house and sighed. It was a long day. Very long. Although most of it consisted of bearing with the tiny creatures of this town, I couldn’t shake the fact that it had started with a mission of utmost importance. Now I was wasting time in a foreign nation and probably troubling the village with my absence.

“What a drag,” I groaned, falling back onto the inflated object. Inside the castle, clouds were painted on the ceiling over a plue pastel sky. I stared at the crude depictions and closed my eyes, wishing I could just forget all of this ever happened. If I hadn’t allowed Jujo to escape… no, if I had only been more attentive back when I had him in my jutsu. I could have avoided all of this.

“Sheets for the Shikamaru,” Pinkie’s voice suddenly rang out. A mess of fabric entered the bounce house and landed on top of me. I didn’t bother fixing any of the stewn about blankets.

“Watch out,” Pinkie said, laying down in her own bed. “Gummy likes to sleep with new people.”

“Who’s Gummy?”

“My pet alligator,” she yawned. I jumped up, throwing the sheets to the other side of the bounce house and rolled away.

“You have a pet alligator in here with me?!”

“So what if I do?”

“Pinkie, are trying to keep me from becoming your friend?”

“Don’t worry silly, he’s got no teeth!” Pinkie laughed at me and I slumped on the floor of the inflatible. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to you that would stop you from being my friend, I mean it Shikamaru.” I leaned my head back and smiled.

She’s too much like that idiot Naruto… A tiny pink Naruto. I shuddered a little. Finally the hours passed by. I’m not sure when it happened, but I eventually fell asleep.

***

“Shikamaru, Shikamaru!” I startled awake.

“Pinkie Pie?” I felt her hooves let go of me and she bolted out of the jump castle. “Pinkie, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Twilight!”

“Twilight?”

“Actually, Twilight’s library really… But it’s still bad!” I jumped out and saw an orange glow radiating from outside of Pinkie’s window. The smell of smoke pervaded my nostrils.

“I really hope Spike did that,” I said clambering downstairs.

"Why would you say something like that?!"

"Because," I replied, "I'd hate to think of the alternative."

Author's Note

This will be my last update on anything for a while. I'll still be on site, but I have to focus on school for the next few weeks. Diligently working on stories still however.

Anyway, I figured this piece needed just a little more Fooling Mode and comedy before I hit the crux of everything. I promise no future chapters will be this... pointless XD

I take that back, it has a point, but I just went about stalling with Naruto-esque comedy and Pinkie Pie. I also decided to play, "Shikamaru is generic HiE" before I got serious. For all of those die hard HiE fans, I've conformed to your image... happy?

(Pssst... I didn't really...)

4. Two's a Platoon, Three's an Army

“Where is that pony?” I yelled, shielding my face from a sudden outburst of flame.

“Twilight’s still inside!” Rainbow Dash answered.

“What is she doing in there?”

“Trying to save her books I’ll bet.”

“Have we tried putting it out?” I asked. My eyes scanned the area for the tiny dragon and the purple unicorn. I couldn’t do anything until I knew for sure where they were.

“I called in for a storm, but it won’t get here soon enough,” Rainbow said.

“Shikamaru! Use your ninja magic!”

“It’s not magic Pinkie,” I berated. She was right though, I had to do something. Although, Twilight and Spike would have to be saved first. I bolted into the burning building, ignoring the cries from the ponies behind me.

The smoke invaded my lungs, choking me as I stumbled through the library. Books lay unattended and set ablaze, eating up everything within the building. My eyes watered from the relentless smoke and my chest forced out another rough set of coughs.

Damn it, where is that stupid horse? I could feel the heat rising; the flames were creeping along the walls and tapestries, climbing higher and higher within the hollow trunk. A mountainous plume of smoke spilled out from the hallway leading downstairs. A good bet as any as to where the fire started.

I stepped lightly, dancing over burning books and leaping towards the billowing black cloud on the other side of the room. “Shadow Manipulation Jutsu!” I lifted my shadow off of the ground, parting the smoke just enough for me to traverse through. As I descended the temperature escalated. I finally made it to the lab. I could see the outline of a body lying in the middle of the floor.

“Twilight!” I coughed. I edged closer, but the fire roared at my advance. I forced my body through, all the while the tongues of flame kept nipping at my heels. Finally I pushed through the blazing wall and ran over to the slumped body on the floor.

“What the hell?” I shouted, dodging back as a kunai shaved some fuzz off of my chin. The body rose up, standing two feet higher than me. The bulky man in front of me waved the kunai back and forth, clocking his tongue. A smug grin was plastered over his face.

“You didn’t think a stupid snake could kill me did you?” Jujo asked, holding his weapon out at me.

“Why are you still alive?” I wasn’t completely shocked, but his face was a little disconcerting at the moment.

“I had to return the favor. You left me to die in a hazardous environment, but I survived,” he chuckled. “Now it’s your turn.”

“You started the fire,” I concluded, glancing over at some spilled chemicals. “Twilight wasn’t even here, was she?”

“If you’re talking about that purple horse or her little lizard, then yes. I waited until they left before I started the fire,” he chuckled again.

“I guess now I have to make sure I finish the job. I won’t let you escape again,” I said, forming a hand seal. Jujo avoided my shadow attack and hid in the thick smoke. His laugh echoed throughout the room. A sudden explosion reminded me of where I was.

“Do you think you can defeat me before the tree house burns down?” he taunted.

“Of course I can’t,” I muttered. “You’re counting on me trying to escape because you know I can’t. Then you’ll ambush me from the safety of the smoke.” I released some chakra and concentrated my shadow into being. “So I’ll use your technique against you! Ninja Art: Smokescreen Jutsu!”

The dark outline on the floor stretched all around the room, circling each cloud of smoke. I clasped my hands together and the shadowy tendrils constricted, binding the smoke together into a small condensed egg-sized form. The smoke now gone, I could clearly see Jujo. In a moment, he wouldn’t be able to see me.

I released my hands, allowing the jutsu to finish. Under the pressure of my shadow, the smoke leaked out of the technique. When I had released it, the toxic gas exploded into the room, covering its entirety in a thick blanket. No vision for me, but that meant none for Jujo either. I quickly charged towards the stairs. Twilight wasn’t here and Jujo was trapped. No reason for me to stay.

“Ninja Art,” I heard from within the smoke. I hustled faster up the stairs. “Earth Shattering Jutsu!” From under my feet, a column of dirt broke through the floorboards and launched me in the air.

Jujo emerged from the hole as well, manipulating the earth to smash into my body as I fell to the ground. I nearly fell through the second floor.

“Let’s face it. In a straightforward fight, you’re useless Shikamaru,” he said, pressing the column of earth down harder. “Even so, you’re the only one here that’s a legitimate threat to me, so you understand why you have to die, right?”

“Bastard,” I choked out. How was he handling all of this smoke in the air?

“I’m glad that snake ate me, I really am.”

“Should’ve stayed inside of it then,” I replied.

“Heh, if I had, I never would’ve discovered the secrets of that magical woods.” I glared at his cheery disposition.

“What are you on about?”

“There are things in that forest that rival the wonders of the Forest of Death,” he said. My vision was fading. I had inhaled too much smoke.

“We’ll show you later. Right now, my boys and I have some terrorizing to do,” Jujo chuckled, looking at another human body. I turned my head and saw a clone of the pain in the ass right above me. “Not a Shadow Clone Shikamaru,” he said suddenly.

“What?” I groaned.

“I’ll let you reflect on your thoughts as I kill your new friends,” he said. Three sets of laughter. Three distinct bodies. What did he mean by not a Shadow Clone? Damn it, that wasn’t important. Right now I couldn’t even move and I was on the verge of passing out. The door was open. Jujo lunged at a small pony and I couldn’t do a thing to stop him.

“Shikamaru!” the voice sounded distant. I saw a pink blur rushing towards me, shouting incoherent things.

“Oxygen,” I gasped. I could feel a tug on my pant leg and the ceiling eventually turned into a starry sky. I coughed some more, pulling myself on my side after I had finished. My vision steadied now, and I could see Pinkie’s face twisted in unnatural settings,at least for her.

“Shikamaru, this guy just came out of Twilight’s house and started lighting the village on fire!”

“I know,” I groaned. “Where is he now?”

“NOOOO! My precious boutique!” I jumped up, shaking off the dizziness around my head. Jujo had set a building ablaze that petrified Rarity to the spot. I rushed over to her, but was assaulted from the side by one of the clones.

“Shikamaru?!” Pinkie Pie called out. She too was knocked away.

“Jujo,” I began, but he lifted me of of the ground by my mouth. I could only mumble as he lifted me higher into the air.

“I will become the god of this world, and every universe that I step into! No one will be able to stop me, and when one falls,” the Jujo gripping me started,

“Another will come in my place,” a clone gloated.

“I won’t kill you now, I think I’ll save that for later.” The burly ninja threw me onto the floor. “I just wanted to see how complete that little pond made my clones. It seems they are exact replicas, independent of me entirely.”

“Unlike Shadow Clones, they can’t be dispelled by a jutsu or vanish from a lethal strike,” the last clone explained.

“My army will march over this world, and then with that new Dimensional Jutsu I’ve learned, I’ll cover the multiverses with my authority!”

Lighting bolted from above. A loud thunderclap sounded throughout the town as rain began to pour over the burning city. The Jujos looked up at the sky and retreated into a tight formation. The original, the one in the center smirked and vanished, his posse following close behind.

My head turned sideways. A few yards away, Pinkie lay on the floor as well, the rain gliding down her coat. The icy cold water didn’t seem to even phase her.

She didn’t get hit that hard… I reasoned. Jujo just shoved her out of the way.

Twilight and Rainbow Dash came galloping up now, frantically pacing back and forth between me and Pinkie. My head was beginning to settle and I could actually hear Rainbow’s threats against my life.

“What did you do Shikamaru?! How could you let Pinkie get hurt like that!” Her hooves latched onto my vest and she shook me back and forth.

“I didn’t tell that crazy horse to come after me,” I argued back, pushing the pegasus away. “She got herself into that mess.”

“No,” Twilight interjected. “That thing knew you, and it looked just like you too. Is it another ninja? If so, then you’re the one to blame for this.”

Great, now I’m being lectured by a horse. Damn it, it wasn’t my fault Pinkie wasn’t thinking; she was just too close!

“Is she alright at least?” I changed the subject.

“As far as I can tell, she’s just knocked out,” Twilight confirmed. I brushed myself off and looked around. Ponies lined the streets, staring at the charred houses and ruined town. A few of them cast their glances in my direction.

“This is why I told you to just let me go,” I said. Twilight and Rainbow Dash both stared at me. “I didn’t want to involve you in my business, so before you go placing blame on me, why don’t you analyze yourself?”

“The time to give blame has passed,” someone said from above. I flinched at the deafening volume projection. Twilight gasped, and I tried to make out what had startled her so suddenly.

“Princess Luna,” she uttered. I wondered at the reverence she held in her voice. Princess? So was this the ruler of the land I was in?

“My subjects called out for me through their dreams. I sensed great dread coming from this direction, and lo, here stands before me the creature responsible for this mess.”

“What happened to ‘giving blame has passed?’” I asked.

“I did not say that the blame was not attributed to you, just that the moment for it has passed,” the winged unicorn replied. With a wave of her wings, the skies parted and her mane was allowed to shimmer in the moonlight. Were I not in deep shit right now I would’ve given her a compliment.

“It wasn’t entirely Shikamaru’s fault, Princess,” Twilight interceded for me. “There was another, and Shikamaru did want to leave, but we wanted him to stay.”

“Speak for yourself Twi,” Rainbow Dash commented from the side. She held Pinkie in her hooves. “I couldn’t care less where he went. You all wanted him to stay.”

I stared at the slowly breathing mass in Rainbow’s arms. I know she wasn’t very important to me, but I couldn’t help but feel like a ball of crap after what happened.

Oh well, no time to regret it now, I thought as two more winged ponies descended from the sky. Their fangs lit up as bright as Luna’s mane and their eyes cut through the cold darkness of the night. I thought it odd for a pegasus to have bat-like wings instead of feathers. This Luna was obviously a vicious dictator.

“Creature, Shikamaru. Come. I have decided that I shall hold a private summons with you and my sister on the matter of your arrival and subsequent departure,” Luna ordered. I caught her glancing around the town and grimacing some at the destruction around her. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t heartless.

“Oh, hey Dashie,” Pinkie Pie suddenly said. Rainbow gasped and set her down.

“Pinkie, are you okay?” She felt Pinkie’s head and examined her body.

“I think so, I just took a little nap was all. My head does hurt a little… did you wave me around while I was sleeping?”

“Pinkie, I’m sorry,” I said then, making sure to get that out of the way first.

“Shikamaru? Sorry for what? And why is Princess Luna here?”

“Enough,” Luna barked. “We must take Shikamaru to Canterlot for questioning. He has caused great turmoil within our lands and we must deal with it.”

“Princess, I meant to tell you, honestly,” Twilight entered.

“I believe you, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna replied, “but I still cannot let this go unchecked. He may return, but that depends entirely on the sentence of my sister and I.”

“Sentence? You can’t keep me imprisoned in a foreign country,” I protested.

“We shall see,” Luna said back.

“I believe you are rushing things, sister,” Celestia said. She took another sip of tea and studied me for the hundredth time. It was becoming uncomfortable, more so than the first time I met her. Luna’s glare was one thing, she held a specific spite towards me. Celestia on the other hand… what a poker face.

“Why should we not take such action? It would be better if only one of these creatures were allowed to roam Equestria,” Luna argued.

“But you don’t know what he can do,” I spoke. “He’s not just a man, he’s a shinobi. He’s armed and is knowledgeable enough to be considered more than dangerous in my world.”

“What sort of world do you come from, where violent barbarians exist outside of monsters?” I wanted to respond, but I didn’t know how. Instead I looked to the floor.

“I sense that you feel we are passing incorrect judgement, Shikamaru.” Her voice reminded me a lot of Tsunade’s, though a little less tantalizing. You had to be careful around these types, they were prone to go off at any second.

“If you truly meant to leave as you said before, why did you linger?”

“We’ve been over this, sister,” Celestia answered. “A more pertinent question would be, What will you do now that this has happened?”

“I intend to stop this man from wreaking any more havoc within your country,” I answered. “I realize my presence has caused an uproar, and I don’t intend to stay any longer than I have to.”

“Despite your current circumstance, you still wish to seek a way home?” Celestia looked puzzled.

“You have come to terms with the fact that you’re further away than you imagined rather quickly,” Luna added.

“It’s just the way it is I suppose,” I replied. I wasn’t too happy finding out that I wasn’t even in the same space as Konoha. It was nearly crushing to know that Jujo had opened a dimensional rift to another world entirely.

“We will not fault you completely for this criminal’s actions, Shikamaru,” Celestia began, “and when he is brought under control, you are more than welcomed to stay within this land.” Luna peered at her sister questionably. “However,” she started again, “as it stands right now, my subjects are in fear of your kind, and we have a potential hazard walking among us, frightening ponies everywhere.”

“Thank you for your generosity,” I told her, “but my duties exceed simply capturing this man. I have a life back home as well.”

“I understand,” she replied.

“As of now, every province in Equestria is on high alert, and watching out for Jujo,” Luna said. “We will do as you requested and counsel our forces against engaging him.”

“It’s for the best,” I said. “Based on what you’ve told me, he’s too dangerous even for adept magic users. Besides, I can’t risk any more people… I mean ponies, getting hurt.”

“Your chivalry shows, has anyone told you that before?” I looked at Celestia with a raised brow.

“I just don’t want a bad conscious is all,” I finally said back. “Thank you for bearing with me, Your Highnesses.” I bowed.

“Escort Mr. Nara out please,” Celestia ordered. I followed the iron-clad ponies to the castle’s entrance. A long sigh escaped my lungs as I pulled out a cigarette. I was really tempted to light it this time. We made it out to the courtyard. Standing at the bottom of the steps were Twilight and Pinkie.

“What did they say?” I looked at Twilight and sat on the steps.

“Well, I thought I had taken care of Jujo, but now that he’s alive that means I’ll be staying a little longer,” I answered her.

“What are they going to do? Is Princess Celestia sending out a search party?”

“Celestia and all of Equestria will stay out of this,” I said. “I’ll take care of Jujo and make sure we both get back home.”

“Shikamaru, you can’t do this by yourself!” Pinkie objected. Why was she even here?

“Why not? I let him into Equestria, I gotta take him out. Besides, if I let any of you get involved, that’ll only mean he’ll have more leverage over me,” I explained.

“You’re still stuck,” Twilight said. “He vanished last night, and nopony has seen anything related to him today.”

“I’m not too terrible at tracking if that’s what you’re implying,” I said, crossing my arms. “Seriously, thank you all for everything, but I’ve got to make sure I do this as quickly as possible, and with as little distraction as possible.”

“I won’t be a distraction,” Pinkie shouted. “I promise, we’ll just follow you and not even say a word.”

“Pinkie, that’s ridiculous,” Twilight beat me to saying.

“At least for you,” I added.

“Hey, I can stay quiet if I try,” she pouted.

“Well, it’s your call then Shikamaru,” Twilight said. “We won’t bother you about it anymore, but think about what you’re doing here.”

“I have thought about it,” I responded.

“How thoroughly though?” I was taken aback by Pinkie’s statement. She continued, “You’ll be going up against an enemy without any support. From what you’ve told us, it won’t make any sense chasing down this man by yourself. That’s why you were originally sent to find him in a squad, correct?”

“How much did you hear?” I asked, pinching the space between my eyes.

“Enough,” she replied sheepishly. I looked at Twilight.

“It wasn’t my business, and I originally wasn’t going to, but Pinkie Pie pressured me into it,” she confessed.

I believe that, I thought, looking at the fluffball.

“ Okay, valid point,” I said. “But consider this: What if you did come with me, and you ended up getting hurt? I already promised Celestia and Luna I would leave citizens of Equestria out of it.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Pinkie said. “I’d do anything for a friend, even lay my own life down for him!”

“Now you’re just paraphrasing,” I moaned.

“Shikamaru, c’mon, it’ll be an adventure!”

“Pinkie,” Twilight interjected, “I don’t think you should view this as that. Shikamaru and the princesses agreed to this plan, so naturally it’s the best one.”

“Not to mention, I’m pretty sure Rainbow Dash would knock my block off if I let you get killed for my sake,” I chimed in.

“I’m a big girl, Dashie just has issues with ponies who are cooler than her.”

“Thanks for the compliment, but it won’t change my mind,” I said, turning away.

“Where are you going?” Twilight asked.

“Jujo was last seen at a place called Ghastly Gorge,” I answered. “Your princess gave me a map, so I’m fine.”

“But-” Twilight stopped Pinkie from saying anything.

“Okay Shikamaru. I’ll at least continue working on a spell to send you and Jujo back home,” she said.

“You can do that,” I agreed. “Goodbye little ponies,” I said, walking away.

“Hey!” Pinkie called. “No hugs?!” I waved my hand up and left it in the air for a little while. I lowered it and shoved them both in my pockets after I couldn’t hear her shouting anymore.

“Ghastly Gorge… That shouldn’t take too long by train,” I mumbled. I had to think of a plan. I couldn’t just barge in and challenge him head-on. A certain somebody I knew might have, but I wasn’t that brainless.

It doesn’t make any sense, I thought. He could have easily performed the dimensional jutsu again and left, but he hadn’t. What’s troubling me is that there’s something here that is keeping Jujo occupied… or at least has him interested enough to stay. Probably in the Everfree Forest… So was it just a clone at Ghastly Gorge?

“One ticket please,” I said to the earthen pony behind the counter.

“Twenty bits, or do you have a train pass?” Suddenly I remembered that yen probably held no value in this world.

“Oh, uh, I guess I don’t have any bits… Will this work?” I held out a few dazzling looking objects, but the stallion shook his head.

“No bits, no ticket.”

“Come on, you could melt it down into those bits or whatever,” I tried to reason.

“Maybe if I was a blacksmith,” he replied. “This isn’t a bank, it’s a train station, so either get some money or shove off.” I left, scratching the back of my head.

Guess I’m walking… What a drag…

“Ah ha! You do need my help!” Pinkie Pie said from behind me.

“What are you doing? Where’s Twilight?”

“She’s trying to get into the castle to speak to the princesses I think. I decided I was going to go home by traiiiiin.”

“How appropriate of you to stretch out that last word,” I sighed.

“Sooooo… I’m still willing to help now,” she sang giddily.

“Buying a train ticket is not the same as taking a bullet, so I guess I’ll let you do that,” I replied with a yawn.

“Uh nopetey, nopity, nopey, if I buy your train ticket, you have to take me along with you. I’m still determined to make you my friend. I got a stubborn old mule to like this pink ball of fluff, so how hard can it be?”

“Very,” I replied quickly. “It’s a drag, but I’m not opposed to walking. Go home, Pinkie.”

“What you got against da Pie?” she shouted, popping out from under my legs.

“I’ve got nothing against you,” I said. “I’m just not looking to make friends right now. And I’m not looking to endanger you.”

“Got a deep sense of duty huh, Shikamaru?”

“Yes, yes I do. So if you’ll excuse me, I need to get going.”

“Two tickets please,” she said, speaking around me.

“You’re not coming with me,” I groaned.

“I know,” she said, trotting over to pay the stallion behind the counter. “So there’s no point in trying to convince you to let me.”

“Oh… great. I’m… I’m glad you see it my way,” I said. That was twice that Pinkie Pie surprised me today.

“I didn’t say that, Shikamaru. I’m coming along, even if you say no.”

“What?! What do you mean?”

“Look, it’s really simple,” she said handing me my ticket. “You got a mission, and what are you going to do if I do tag along? Not go? Well you can’t do that either. So why even bargain with you when you’re not the one holding the goods?”

Damn horse, that’s three times!

“You shrewd little… meh, what a pain, you really are troublesome,” I sighed. I slapped my hand over my face and shook my head.

“Well, to Ghastly Gorge we go!” she shouted bouncing into the train.

“All aboard!”

“What the hell have I gotten myself into?” I groaned.

“It’s not your fault,” she said from the train door then. “You haven’t gotten yourself into anything, I sorta dragged you into it.”

“Not helping!” I shouted. I boarded the train with her and took the seat next to the window.

“Hey, Shikamaru?” Pinkie poked my shoulder. I tried not to acknowledge her, but she kept talking. “How are we gonna get to Ghastly Gorge if this train is going to to Manehattan?”

“What?” I jumped up.

“This train, I think I bought the wrong ticket,” she chuckled.

“You did that on purpose,” I growled. The doors shut and the train began moving. A loud whistle rang out, and I decided to sit down instead of wasting anymore energy. Pinkie sat down next to me. Something in the distance caught my eye.

“Oh… Twilight looks upset,” I said. She came galloping out of the direction of the castle and began searching around frantically for I can guess who.

“I didn’t tie my knot tight enough I guess,” Pinkie said. She then glanced above me and exclaimed, “The train route!”

“What? I know it’s going in the opposite direction,” I said. Twilight, along with the rest of Canterlot passed away.

“Look on the bright side, the train will eventually reach Ghastly Gorge. It’ll just take a little longer,” she said, patting my back.

“Joy,” I yawned, closing my eyes.

Author's Note

I tried not to bore ya'll with the Celestia and Luna delegation, but it felt a little rushed... oh well, it's already published. Too much of a pain to go back and fix it...

5. No More Pinkie Pie

“Hey, Shikamaru?”

“What is it?”

“Why do you do that?” My gaze shifted from outside of the moving train to the small pink pony who was studying me, or rather my hand, intently. I held Asuma’s lighter in the hand she was referring to, and I suppose she caught me opening and closing it.

“It’s just a habit,” I responded.

“And what’s that thing you put in your mouth, is it a lollipop?” I chuckled.

“No, it’s not a sucker,” I said.

“Lollipop,” she corrected. “There’s a difference ya know.”

“Whatever,” I said. “It’s not a lollipop, it’s a cigarette. I’m pretty sure you have ponies who smoke here, don’t you?”

“Smoking is bad, at least that’s what I was told.” She bounced away from me and back to her seat in the next aisle over. “Except Spike smokes a lot.”

“He’s a dragon,” I replied. “Of course he smokes, but not like what I have here.”

“Soooo, why do you put that thing in your mouth and then click that lighter up and down?”

“It’s personal, I don’t really feel like explaining,” I answered and returned to the window. She sidled up next to me then and narrowed her eyes.

“Ponies don’t do nothing for nothing,” she said slowly.

“You mean they don’t do anything for nothing,” I corrected.

“Yeah,” she agreed, rubbing her chin. “It’s like a security blanket, isn’t it?”

“You… you could say that,” I stuttered. I was done being surprised by Pinkie Pie, hoping whatever she said and or did would just become acceptable in my mind.

“I know,” she said again, backing off now. “My party cannon is like that.”

“You have a cannon?”

“I never leave without it!”

“Where the heck would you even keep it? And I didn’t see you bring a cannon on board or while you were at the castle!” If enduring Pinkie Pie were missions, I’d have already been demoted to a Genin by now.

“That’s not important,” she said, waving her hoof. “We’re talking about you.”

“No, you’re talking about me,” I said with my arms crossed.

“Potato, Poe-tah-toe,” she said, shrugging.

“This is more than just a confusion of pronunciation!”

“Shikamaru, you’re avoiding the question!”

I groaned. Nothing would shut her up. Well, nothing except spilling my life story to her.

“Fine, I guess we have enough time to kill,” I said, glancing at the train route above me. “It’s a bore of a story, so it would’ve been a pain to get in the middle of it and have to stop.”

“I’ll listen reeeally fast,” she cried with a grin. I shook my head and leaned back in my seat. I removed the cigarette from my mouth and looked at the lighter, twirling it about my fingers.

“This,” I began, “this is a memento from my former master.”

“Oooh,” she said, nodding slowly. “So this master guy was your teacher?”

“Yes, but he was more than just that,” I said, gripping the small metal tighter. “He was my friend.”

“Your… friend…” she repeated.

“Remember when you said you’d put your life down for me,” I asked her. She nodded. “Well, my master did just that. He paid with his life so that me and my teammates could live.” Silence. Achievement unlocked, I would think. However, the expression over Pinkie’s face turned from intrigued to just plain curious now.

“How did you feel?” she asked after a long while of being silent.

“I don’t know, sad I guess. Angry,” I replied. “I think I still feel a little something even now.”

“Is that why it’s so hard for us to be friends?” I didn’t answer her. I didn’t even feel like I should.

“When you say such a thing like ‘I’ll die for you,’ or, ‘I’ll protect you with my life,’ it doesn’t really hit you until that crucial moment that it happens,” I explained. “In my entire career as a ninja, I’d seen many deaths. I’ve killed a lot of people.” She flinched after I said that. “However,” I continued, “there’s nothing more tragic than losing someone you care for.”

“You care about me?”

“Well… I mean, not like that,” I said. “The thing is, you seem like a good pony, and if you continue to follow me like this, there’s a chance you’ll get very close to death. I don’t understand why you can’t see it Pinkie, but the world of the ninja is not one for an eccentric party-going baker.”

“Says who?” She placed her forehooves on her hips and pouted.

“Are you even listening?!” I growled. “I can’t risk people getting hurt on my account. It’s happened more than I would’ve liked and it’s one thing to lose a comrade, but it’s another to lose a friend!”

“Well, that kind of stuff doesn’t happen here!” she argued back. I held my tongue. She was right. The entire time I’d been here, I noticed the peacefulness of the land. In fact, it was so saturated in the air that I could actually sense Jujo’s malignant chakra when he was close. There was no reasoning with her, or any of the other inhabitants of this place when it came to these matters. It was almost foreign to them.

“Why do they call it Ghastly Gorge?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Oh, there’s a lot of creepy and dangerous stuff that goes on around there,” she answered. “Rainbow Dash flies through it all the time, even when we tell her not to.”

“I believe it,” I said, looking out the window again. “I’m going to take a nap.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I haven’t had the ability to since I was abruptly awakened in the middle of the night and forced to delegate with two ruling bodies for the remainder of it.”

“Okay, okay Mr. Grumpy!” She trotted away, sliding onto the seat of the next row over. “Do ya need the whole row?”

“Yes,” I responded with a yawn. “Wake me when we get there…”

***

“Echooooooooooo!”

“Are you done yet?” I asked to the giggling pony next to me.

“Not quite, I have a few more seconds until the next echo reverbs around the canyon,” she answered. I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. Leaving Pinkie to herself, I began walking along the edge of the gorge, peering down into the abyss below. Nothing out of the ordinary here, so why would Jujo come to a place like this?

“Unless he plans on using rocks in his masterplan, I doubt there’s any reason for him to be here outside of exploration,” I murmured.

“So he decided to take a field trip around Equestria?” Pinkie asked, popping out of a hole in the ground.

“That’s what it seems like.” I continued onward, hoping to find something not pink out of place.

“So once you get this guy, what do you plan on doing next?”

“I’m not sure, try to find a way home, I guess. I’ll have Jujo perform the dimensional jutsu again and use that if I have to,” I replied.

“Aww, you wouldn’t wanna stay for even a little while?”

“Are we back on this again?”

“Yes!” was the reply I got. Note to self, don’t ask Pinkie rhetorical questions again.

“I told you that-” my sentence stopped short as I caught wind of a malignant air.

“Why’d you pull out your knife thing?” Pinkie asked, looking around.

“Shut up and get close to me,” I hissed.

“At least buy me dinner first!” she whispered, backing up to my behind. My eyes moved about, searching the rocky hills for the force behind my caution. So far, nothing seemed wrong, but I couldn’t risk it. Not with a civilian, and not with an enemy like Jujo.

“Damn it, where is he?” I sighed.

“What’s da-” Pinkie was now interrupted as a wall of dirt erupted from between us, knocking me onto my face.

“Pinkie, are you okay?!” I shouted, rolling back up and taking a defensive stance.

“I’m okay,” I heard from the other side of the wall. She poked her head around the dirt column and waved at me. “My tail is unusually shock absorbent, so I can take a lot from the rear if I need to.” Her smile reassured my suspicions about her well being.

“I don’t mean to take that out of context, but boy that sounded dirty,” Jujo said from behind me. I whipped my arm around, just barely missing the rogue ninja’s face. Quickly I managed a hand seal, but he dodged my shadow and shot out several large fireballs at me.

“Move!” I shouted, performing an earth shield of my own. “That was too close,” I huffed. The completed jutsu couldn’t have been more perfectly timed. I saw a pink ball of fluff sitting next to me with an unsure grin on her face.

“I’d like to help, but I can’t shoot fireballs, and while I did work on a rock farm, there’s no way I can do what you two are doing,” she said with a blush.

“Then stay out of the way, and maybe you’ll see why I told you not to follow me,” I replied.

“Hiding won’t get you anywhere, Shikamaru!” Jujo shouted, leaping over the wall I had created.

“Damn it!” I shot several shuriken at the body, but the tools found their way inside of a large stone rather than Jujo. “Substitution, what an amateur move on my part!”

“He turned to a rock!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“No, he’s somewhere else. He switched places with a rock,” I explained, urging her to follow me.

“How’d that happen?”

“This is not the time for an expositional instruction on ninjutsu!” I couldn’t do anything here, not out in the open like this. Jujo had caught me out of my element once again. “You need to get down the gorge,” I said.

“Say no more, I don’t want to be yelled at again,” Pinkie said, barreling for the fissure in the earth.

“Wait, I meant on my signal you dolt!”

“Picking your grave?” Jujo shouted, socking me in the jaw. He followed up with a few more punches and a finishing roundhouse kick. I propelled backwards, skidding along the ground just before I met with the edge of the gorge.

“Are you him… or a clone?” I asked, rising slowly.

“Considering you’re almost dead, I think I can tell you,” Jujo chuckled. “He said you’d come. Something like, ‘Konoha shinobi are too predictable,’ or some jazz like that.”

“So you are just a copy,” I coughed.

“Just a copy? Ha! I’m more than a copy, I’m my own person, just in another person’s image.”

Where the hell was Pinkie? I didn’t want her to get in trouble, but now she’s gone and vanished entirely. Why couldn’t she do that earlier?

“Then it’s not like a regular jutsu, where the technique will cease if the caster if killed,” I said, standing on my feet now.

“Don’t try anything, I can move to you faster than you think. Your shadows are too slow,” he threatened, pulling out a kunai.

“So what was your plan? Get me to come here while your master messes around Equestria for a bit?

“This place, is my home. I was born here,” he replied. “So no, he isn’t my master, and he isn’t just messing around. But you are right about the first part.”

“You’re just a distraction,” I finished.

“There are literally hundreds of us in this world, just waiting to get our own share of the multiverse,” Jujo laughed.

“Multiverse? Sounds like something out of a story book,” I said.

“Not anymore,” he replied, stepping closer.

“I take it you won’t tell me?”

“Damn straight, I ain’t a squealer!” he cried, rushing at me.

“No, but you are predictable.” I performed a hand seal, causing Jujo to dodged a nonexistent attack.

“What the hell?” he shouted at my sly grin.

“Hanging with you has been a blast,” I said. The explosive tag on the back of his calf ignited and the Jujo clone lit up brighter than the sun. “Now, where did that little pink menace disappear to?”

“Here I am!” she exclaimed, popping out of a hole in the ground.

“So, you know you could’ve potentially been injured in that little exchange we had?” I was scolding her like a child, but she shrugged it off.

“I’ve been in extreme peril before, it’s nothing new.”

“Yeah, well not like this. Jujo’s much more dangerous than blob things or pastel colored wolves,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Aaaaaaand back into hiding, right?” she asked, ducking below into the hole she had just created. I spun around, just in time to catch Jujo tackling into me. Too bad I couldn’t react. We both plummeted down the gorge.

“The least I can do for Jujo is take you out with me!” he said, tightening his hold.

Damn, if I don’t act fast…! I formed a hand seal, coating my palm in a generous amount of chakra and reached out to the side. The floor was coming up fast, and I only had enough chakra to do this once. My hand latched onto a long enough extension of rock, halting our fall, but causing Jujo’s clone to instead lose his grip on my waist and grab my ankle.

“What now?” he chuckled from below. I saw him draw a kunai and place it in his mouth. My attempts to shake him off were thwarted and he jabbed the knife into my thigh. I released my grip on the rock, screaming as we both fell.

“I can’t die like this!” I shouted, looking below. The ground was only meters away now. Jujo’s face sneered up at me and he saluted, laughing wildly all the while. Suddenly, I felt a force collide with me from the side. The impact was rough, but afterwards, I felt a soft cushion against my face. “What the?”

“I knew the party mattress would come out if I shot it enough times!” Pinkie Pie shouted from a nearby cliff side. It felt more like an oversized marshmallow than a mattress, but I didn’t feel like questioning logic at the moment. I repositioned myself to lay on top of the bed just as I hit the ground. The mattress touched the floor, but immediately took to the air again. It repeated the bouncing process until it came to a roll, upon which I let go of it and rolled on the ground as well.

“Party mattress… one hell of a party,” I moaned. My vision lifted skywards where I could see Pinkie bounding down the cliff side, no doubt to come and check on me. I turned my head, seeking out the other body, but did not find so much as a torn piece of fabric. “Did Jujo fall somewhere else?”

“That was a nice ride, huh?” Pinkie asked, giggling to the side.

“Nice is relative,” I began, “but nonetheless, you saved me, so yes, it was a nice ride.”

“Oooh, an actual compliment? I knew we would be friends sooner than never!” she bounced about happily and blew a noise maker in my ear.

“Not right now!” I shouted, but too late. Pinkie gasped, scaring me half to death then. I turned around, expecting something to come flying at us, but instead, I saw her run to my side.

“What happened to your leg?” She observed the blood and looked up at me with disconcertion in her eyes.

“It’s nothing, I can fix it,” I said, pulling some bandage cloth from my pouch. I dressed the wound, trying to keep Pinkie out of my supplies as I did so.

“Here, let me help,” she said, taking the bandage from my hands.

“What?”

“Trust me, I know how to tie a knot,” she said, fumbling around with the bandage around my thigh. One final tug, and I examined the work of the pony over my wound.

“It’s actually… not bad,” I said, rising to my feet. Pain shot through my body, but I ignored it for the moment.

“I told you I can help,” she said with a grin.

“Well, it’s a wound, not a gift, so the bow-like knot wasn’t necessary,” I replied. “Now, I’m wondering about Jujo. Where did his body go?”

“Maybe the Quarry eels got him. They like to live in large crevices and take a snap at whatever flies by,” she informed me.

“I’ll keep that in mind as we climb up,” I said, brushing myself off. My head lifted up again, and my spirits fell further down than we currently were. It was at least 1000 meters, easy. It was amazing I survived the fall.

“So what’s the plan, partner?” I looked at the small pony and shook my head.

“The plan is to get out of here and figure out where the real Jujo is. Probably back in the Everfree Forest, where he first disappeared,” I said.

“If that’s the case, then we need to get back up there.” I followed her hoof back to the top of the gorge. My face made another sour expression.

“Why do you torture me so? I know that, Pinkie.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll have us up in a jiffy!”

“How do you plan on doing that?”

“With this!” she pulled out a vial of liquid and unscrewed the top. I wasn’t even going to ask where she had been hiding it. Most likely her mane.

“Why not just tell me so we can skip the script?”

“It’s a potion that I swiped from Twilight before we came to Canterlot. It’s supposed to be a teleportation spell thingy for non magical ponies,” she explained then.

“It doesn’t sound like Twilight to just leave something that important lying around. And neither does it sound safe to use, especially when you use the words, ‘supposed to’,” I grimaced.

“Oh believe me, I had a tough time finding it!” She drank the liquid before I could even advise her against it and smacked her lips together, shifting her eyes back and forth.

“You don’t even know-” I started, but was tackled again, this time by Pinkie. She lay on top of me and smothered my face in hers.

“Here we go!” was all I heard. The last thing I saw was her eyes going all white and then suddenly it felt as if my skin was being peeled off and tossed about. Another second later, I found myself standing back where we had started, Pinkie clutching my face still, both of us a little burnt up.

“I’m guessing it was still in the experimental stages,” I coughed.

“Hey look, we’re back!” she released me and stretched her limbs out. I removed some sweet tasting hair from my mouth, and tried to wipe the icing odor off of my face. “Shikamaru, I think I found your friend,” I heard then.

“Are you kidding me?!” I brought my hands down and saw another Jujo standing before us. His arms were crossed and he smirked, chuckling a little before making his way towards us.

“Pinkie, you need to hide again. Or get your cannon thing and shoot something at him,” I said.

“We kind of left it downstairs in the gorge,” she mumbled, backing up to me.

Darn, I don’t have enough chakra to deal with another one of these guys…

“Bravo, but no matter how many of us you defeat, there will always be more,” he said. “This has turned into quite the predicament. I imagine it must be hard for you to accept that you’ll be stuck here forever while we take over all of existence.”

“Again with the ambiguity,” I muttered.

“It’s not as difficult to grasp as you think, Shikamaru. We’re all Jujo, and so, we can all perform his Jutsu,” the clone said making several hand seals. I braced myself for an attack, but the man chuckled and held his right arm out after performing the seals.

“Wait a minute,” I said. It was all starting to come together now.

“You see, everyone of us can perform the dimensional jutsu. Imagine, a whole plane of existence, ruled by the likes of me!”

“You’re crazy,” I shouted. “Only one of kekkei genkai is capable of possessing such techniques!”

“Ha, I will prove that wrong!”

“No, you’ll upset the balance of everything and who knows what will happen then?!” My body ached. I wasn’t going to stand a chance if he came at me.

“I’m willing to find out, and I know a particular shinobi back home who would pay dearly for this. Well, at least, the real Jujo does anyway,” he said.

“What?”

“There’s a bigger picture to all of this aside from your trivial matters, Shikamaru. The world of ninja will be no more, unless we follow him.”

“Follow Jujo?”

“Jujo… we are just a tool. Soon, you will see. Jujo has already enlightened each of us. He was met with a most interesting individual, though I can’t seem to remember the name,” the clone said.

“From the beginning… from the very beginning this was just part of someone’s plan? Another ninja from our world?”

“Your world,” the clone corrected. “Technically, I was born here. That reminds me…” I could not move fast enough. The Jujo clone was on top of me in a second. aking advantage of my leg wound also, he quickly shoved me aside and jammed a finger into Pinkie’s neck. She collapsed instantly.

“Pinkie Pie!” I shouted, trying to get up. Jujo’s clone lifted her up and slung the pony over his shoulder.

“Dunno why, but he said to bring this. Oh, Jujo did, not that other ninja.”

“Put her down, what the hell does Jujo want with her?!”

“Probably to use her as a bargaining chip, or maybe lure you into another trap, who knows? All I know is, you’re officially screwed.”

“Damn it Pinkie Pie, this is why I told you to stay!” I tried to launch a Shadow Possession, but it fell short after he leapt away. The clone swung his arm in the air, ripping a portal in the space behind his body.

“We’ve all managed to control the jutsu, so your kekkei genkai whatever theory is disproved,” the clone taunted. He stepped through, and waved. “Oh yeah, Jujo told me to tell you something else.”

“Damn it, I can’t do anything,” I huffed.

“He says, ‘Once again, you’ve let someone down, and you’ve let another life go.’” With that, the clone vanished and the portal closed.

No… no… no… no…. the word kept playing over and over in my mind.

That idiot got herself captured, and now Jujo is plotting to take control of multiple universes? I should alert the princesses, but the last thing I want is to tell them is that one of their subjects got captured on my behalf… What a drag this has turned into, I thought.

“Finally!” I heard a voice say from afar. I looked up, broken from my thoughts now and saw another figure galloping towards me.

“Great,” I sighed.

“Shikamaru!” Twilight shouted. “Shikamaru! Is Pinkie with you!?”

What was I going to say? What could I say?

“Uhh, about that…” That was probably all I could muster up at the moment.

“Where’s Pinkie Pie… you look like you got into a fight,” she said when she finally reached me.

“I did,” I replied.

“And Pinkie is…?”

“Not here,” I answered.

“Why?”

“Because she wasn’t where she was supposed to be, which is at home with you in Ponyville,” I shouted.

“Shikamaru, what happened to Pinkie Pie? Where is my friend?!” Twilight furrowed her brow now. I didn’t think she could get angry. I didn’t think anypony aside from Rainbow Dash could. Oh damn it, Rainbow Dash, if she caught wind of this…

“Pinkie is probably being held hostage somewhere in the Everfree forest,” I relayed quickly.

“What?! Probably? Held hostage?!”

“It’s not my fault she decided to follow me,” I interrupted. “I told her to stay.”

“You didn’t protect her?”

“I did all that I could! You don’t think my plate is a little stacked at the moment? I’m trying to track down a prisoner in a foreign land with a bunch of annoying horses bearing down on me every freakin’ second,” I exploded. I stood there, huffing and puffing, looking at the pony with harsh eyes. She stared back, but with a harsher glare.

“Even so,” she began, “Even so, you had a body to protect, whether by choice or not, and you let her get captured?!”

“Welcome to the world of the ninja,” I replied. “You can’t not guarantee a loss.”

“No, you’re not in Konaka or whatever, okay? You’re in Equestria, and even so, aren’t ninjas supposed to look after their comrades? I specifically remember Pinkie telling me something like that, something that you told her.”

“When did she-?”

“That’s not important now, is it? One of my best friends is now in danger, and granted it’s Pinkie Pie, I’m still upset beyond measure,” she told me with tears in her eyes.

“It wasn’t like I was just going to leave her,” I said. “I’ll get her back, and complete my mission.”

“You need to weigh what’s at stake here, Shikamaru,” Twilight said. “I understand your quest is important, but now Equestria could be in danger and you have to understand that your laws don’t apply here.”

“Jujo would think otherwise.”

“But you’re not Jujo,” she replied.

“No, I guess I’m not,” I said.

Author's Note

I'm sorry this came so late, but I've only recently gotten out of my writing hibernation. I'll be working on my other stories and school ahs started back up, so that means I'll be posting more regularly, though still a little slowly.

I should plan things out more...