Fluttershy has tea with Iron Will and Discord
It was an unusual sight to be sure. When she was a filly, Fluttershy would hold tea parties all the time with her gorilla friend, giraffe friend, lion friend, and chimpanzee friend, and everypony found it cute, but only because they were stuffed animals.
When it was a grown mare serving tea to a bunny rabbit, a bear, a minotaur, and the very embodiment of chaos and disharmony himself – who happened to be a chimera, at that – opinions suddenly shifted from ‘d’awww, that’s cute’ to ‘that mare is messed up’, or ‘she needs to get out more’, and even a little of ‘THE HORROR!’.
Still, Fluttershy didn’t care mu h for how other ponies saw her. Well, she did, but she respected their views and just took the passive approach to handling them. Besides, she was surrounded by friends right now, so why should she care what the ponies around her thought?
“Isn’t it lovely out today?” Fluttershy asked in an attempt to start up some conversation. “Don’t you think so?”
“It’s alright…” Discord said as he used his magic to lift his tea from his cup and bring it to his mouth.
“She wasn’t asking you,” Iron Will said he lifted his tiny-compared-to-him teacup. “It certainly is a fine day out. Perfect for getting some training in!”
“‘Training’?” Discord laughed. “Oh, you muscle-heads only ever think about one thing, don’t you? Days like this are for relaxing, not working out.”
“Those who slack off, only grow soft!” Iron Will shouted to Discord. “And you only relax every day anyway! You don’t even know what hard work is, do you?”
“Now now, you two,” Fluttershy said, hoping to diffuse any tensions before a fight broke out. “Discord works very hard at the palace. Isn’t that right, Discord?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah. Sure. Why not?” Discord held up his paw and summoned a bouquet of flowers. He then gave them to Fluttershy. “For you.”
“Oh, why thank you. Such a gentlecolt.” Fluttershy sniffed the flowers. To her surprise, it wasn’t a prank; the flowers had a genuine, pleasant aroma.
“Bah! Such fragile flowers!” Iron Will flexed his muscles. “A true man should be able to protect his mare! You’re too scrawny, dragoness!”
“Draconequus,” Discord corrected, “And puh-lease! I am a refined beast of chaos. I don’t have to succumb to such brutalities to protect my dear Fluttershy.”
‘Here we go again,’ Fluttershy thought to herself as she watched the two beasts arguing over her. ‘These boys… It’s not that I don’t like either of them. Iron Will is strong and dependable, and has a heart of gold, and Discord is… charming, sometimes, but I just don’t like either of them in that way. I should tell them, but I don’t want to break their hearts.’
“Say that again!” Iron Will shouted. Fluttershy jumped. At some point, she must have missed the argument escalating out of control. “You accursed beat! I’ll show you how a real man throws a punch!”
Iron Will threw his fist at Discord, who merely slithered out of the way. The stray fist ended up hitting Harry the Bear sitting behind Discord, and everyone present gasped as the bear fell onto his back.
“Harry!” Fluttershy cried as she rose to her hooves and rushed to her friend’s side.
“I-I didn’t mean to… That was…” Iron Will stuttered.
“Smooth move,” Discord said, sticking his tongue out at the minotaur.
“What was that?!” Iron Will shouted.
“Enough!” Both Iron Will and Discord froze in fear as they heard Fluttershy’s harsh tone ringing in their ears. “Both of you, you should act your ages! Fighting like children, and hurting those around you… I’m disappointed in the both of you!”
“But he-” both Discord and Iron Will said in unison.
“But nothing!” Fluttershy responded. “I have to go and tend to poor Harry’s owie. When I get back, I hope that the two of you will finally be acting like men, and not children! Am I making myself clear?”
“… Yes, ma’am,” they both muttered together.
Fluttershy and Angel Bunny both escorted the crying Harry away from the tea party site so that they could tend to his wound. As soon as they were out of sight, Discord snarled at Iron Will. “Well, nice going, Mr. Muscle-for-Brains!”
“Don’t talk like this is my fault!” Iron Will shouted back, butting heads with Discord as the two snarled at each other. “You just had to open your big mouth, didn’t you?!”
“It was a joke! Don’t you know what that is? Maybe you should look in the mirror!”
“You are the most despicable, most irritating-”
“You are the most hard-headed, most workout-obsessed-”
“Most smart-mouthed, obnoxiously witty…”
“Muscle-bound, positively assertive…”
The two stopped their snarling, and were now simply glaring silently into each other’s eyes.
Fluttershy returned ten minutes later. “I’m back. I hope the two of you were able to work things… out?” Fluttershy stopped and stared at her two friends piled on the grass, Iron Will on top of Discord and their arms wrapped around each other as they made out in the middle of the park, their tongues at vicious war with each other for dominance.
Ponies all around were running, screaming, vomiting, and crying, foals and adults alike.
“Oh my,” Fluttershy said in a shocked breath as she watched the two going at it, Discord’s hand trailing down Iron Will’s back and towards his muscular backside. “Oh my…” Fluttershy repeated as her wings twitched, slowly starting to extend at her sides. “Oh my,” she said one final time, a smile crossing her face as she saw Iron Will abandon the kiss to lick Discord’s horns, eliciting the cutest face from the draconequus that Fluttershy had ever seen. A little blood trickled down from her nose and dripped onto the grass. ‘Not what I meant from working things out, but whatever works.’
“I now pronounce you mane and… wife…” The last word was said with much reluctance on Celestia’s part. She gave the draconequus in a wedding dress an odd look, but didn’t say anything else as the lovely couple wrapped their arms around each other and shared their first kiss as a married couple.
Besides the ringing of bells, the entire palace was deadly silent as Iron Will swept Discord off of his feet and carried him down the aisle.
“How lovely,” Fluttershy said, tearing up at the beautiful sight of her two friends getting married. “I wish them both a lifetime of happiness.”
The rest of her friends remained silent out of equal parts respect and equal parts just not sure how exactly they should react to this situation. The blue mare to Twilight’s side was the first to speak as the new couple exited the chapel. “Suddenly Trixie dating Twilight is looking pretty good, huh?”
Outside, Iron Will lowered Discord down into the chariot awaiting them and climbed in after him. “I love you, Dissy,” Iron Will said as he held his new bride-husband.
“I love you more, Willy.”
Author's Note
I don't even know. What am I doing with my life? And why do I enjoy it so much?
Shipping ponies isn't enough anymore. I must ship ALL the races.
Alternate ending: Fluttershy, getting hot and bothered from the scene in the park, runs home to Gilda and demands sexual intercourse from the girffin.
... I think I might need help :S
