Chapter 1: Some Twisted Stuff, That's For Sure
The clock struck five, and your shift ended. Work today was a hassle, as usual, but you didn’t mind. Easy pay, and all you had to bother with was some mediocre manual labor that left your mind numb. Not too much trouble to earn a living, really.
Even so, you secretly applauded within yourself when the clock finally struck quitting time at five. Not to seem too eager, you walked nonchalantly out of your office building, giving the customary nod, salute, and high-fives to your passing workmates as you flew out the door.
Sweet freedom never felt so good. Especially since being stuck in your hot and stuffy workplace made the relaxing breeze all the more enjoyable.
Humming a tune to yourself, you made your way down the street. You kept your jacket zipped up to keep the cold chill of the air from biting into your skin. No need to catch a cold in this type of weather.
While the luxury of the bus and its available heating called to you, you decided against it. It was only a couple of blocks to your apartment. Better to include some exercise into your daily routine. Besides, not like you were going to do any vigorous activity tonight anyhow.
With your hands in your jean pockets and your head downcast, you stared at your sneakers as you walked down the sidewalk. People passed by you on either side, cars streamed down the road to your left, and you waited at the occasional intersection for cars to pass by and for you to cross. Really uneventful, as usual.
In a quarter hour’s time you were tramping up the steps of your apartment building, cursing yourself as always for getting a room near the top floor. Didn’t seem like such a bad idea at the time. At least until the elevator broke down…
In a slightly hurried breath you were at your door, now digging in your pockets for your keys. Once unlocked, you kicked the door open, unzipped your jacket and threw it off with a sigh of relief.
“Home sweet shithole,” you said, kicking off your shoes to slide down your wooden floor in only your socks. At the corner of the kitchen you grabbed a support beam to turn yourself on the dime. Directing yourself right to the fridge, you open it up.
Two weeks old chinese food, milk way past its expiration date, assorted foodstuff that didn’t really look appealing to you right now. Except…
You grabbed a beer and expertly cracked it open with but a twist of the cap. Chugging down a few mouthfuls, then pulling back to sigh in alcohol induced content. “Damn, this really hits the spot ‘bout now,” you said to yourself, grabbing two extra cold ones in case of further refreshments.
You made your way to the couch in the center of your living room. Taking care to step over the minefield of empty pizza boxes and discarded junk, you threw yourself on those relaxing cushions just begging to be lazed upon.
Yeah, sure, your house was a dump, but it wasn’t like you cared much. When your friends visited they often times had just as messy pads, you had no current girlfriend (even to the best of your mediocre pick-up abilities), and if you ever did sleep with a chick, it was usually at her place or a motel. So really, the disregarded the task of cleaning up your pigsty for the much more enjoyable task of sitting on your ass doing nothing.
So began the fun filled night of flipping through the tv channels while getting buzzed. Might even order a pizza later. Who knew what excitement was in store for yourself on this monotonous and downright typical night of all nights.
“Let’s see what’s on the tube,” you said, flipping the remote up in the air and catching it with expert grace. Turning the power on, you were immediately confronted with a dreary lined politician who had more wrinkles than actual live skin on his face.
“Boring,” you concluded after approximately half a second of watching. Changing the channel upward, you flipped through a couple of other news stations before falling on the next selection of stations.
“Ugh, celebrities,” you mutter. Looks like you hit reality television shows. “Nothing but drunk plastic surgery bitches throwing vodka in one another’s faces and calling the other a crackwhore. That, and fake tits. I’d rather go to a stripclub than see the hashed out and less enjoyable version on tv.”
Flipping past that channel, you fall upon a show that had a mother, a daughter, and what appeared to be a creepy older guy walking right up behind them in an abandoned subway station—
“Damnit, Lifetime,” you said, wincing as you immediately changed the channel. Next up was some show about rednecks throwing bottles of moonshine in the air and using an alligator to as a bat to smash them. “No thanks, History Channel.”
You grumble as you flip across several more stations. Just the usual shit you’ve seen on tv one too many times. Unfunny sitcoms, violence rampant shows with just passable by rating standards nudity, and old reruns of shows you have no idea existed, nor cared for.
“Maybe if I got really drunk I’d enjoy tv…” you said to yourself, staring at your empty beer bottle in your hand. Throwing it in a pile with similar bottle like it, you grab another one, ready to open the top off.
That is, until you suddenly found yourself falling.
It wasn’t so much of a sensation than fact. You actually were falling, and at an incredibly fast rate at that. You were just getting comfortable in the cushions of your sofa when out of nowhere there was no sofa to get comfortable in.
So, as you were falling to what felt like certain doom and a hard surface below, you reflected on your life. Your achievements, your mistakes, all the wasted time you spent having a life when you could’ve been playing video games. All that time, heedlessly wasted. Such a shame.
As you took this time to reflect upon your mortal anguishes, your anxiety physically manifested as you desperately waving your arms in the air and shouting for your dear life. Time held no meaning in this weird world of falling but never actually hitting something. So after a good while, you had to take a breath to continue your panicked screaming.
However, that breath brought you to the end of your journey with a painful thud of a cruel and unforgiving floor. Why you didn’t splatter like a paint can is anyone’s guess, though you weren’t about to question miracles when they presented themselves to you.
After a quick once over, you realize you weren’t dead. Success! Another factor to take into consideration was the sharp pain in your buttocks area. Nothing an icepack and sick duty off of work can’t fix.
“Damn… what happened?” you said aloud, picking your torso up from the ground. Holding a hand to your head, you realize with shock that you were still holding onto the beer bottle, still unopened. In your panic you held onto it with a death grip. At least you have the fine knowledge that your beer was still cold.
Looking around yourself, you realize you’re in a cave of some sort. Low ceiling with those rock formations hanging down you can’t remember were called stalagmites or stalactite. Not that anyone really care, either way.
Confused but overall too jaded from your strange trip to be properly freaking out, you stare before you into a dark opening of the cave.
“Hello there,” a feminine voice said behind you.
Jumping in your sitting position and quickly turning around, you were met with the dim light shining from two glowing green eyes. Promptly, now was the time you freaked out and slid away as fast as possible on your ass.
“Please, don’t go away,” the figure hidden in shadows said to you. Her voice had a strange tune to it that made it seem like several people were speaking all at once. Either way, you were hightailing it the fastest way possible out of there.
“Hell no!” you shouted, falling on your back and scrabbling to return to your feet.
You felt your right foot being yanked. Looking down, you discovered with dread that a glowing forcefield of light was now covering your foot, preventing you from moving. No matter how much you tugged, you couldn’t get the light to release it.
Yep, now you were really screwed.
The lone figure slowly made her way forward, step by tediously antagonizing and gut wrenching step. Sweat poured from your brow as you desperately tried to release yourself, but to little avail.
“Look, please, I don’t want no trouble!” you begged, digging your fingers into the dirt to pull yourself from the strange forcefield on your foot. Looking up, you shouted, “Don’t eat me, please! I taste like Cheetos and pizza crusts! And not in the good way!”
“I don’t want to eat you,” the voice said, fangs glistening in the light as she prepared to pounce.
Okay, not eating… that might actually be worse, given the current circumstances.
You used your hands to shield your face as she jumped and descended upon you. Your end coming at the hands… claws… whatever that thing has, in a strange cave you had no idea how you got into. Overall, you were sort of impressed by the originality.
Instead of the cruel and unforgiving sentence of death you surely thought was coming, you were still alive. Cracking open an eyelid, you were met with the large pupils of that creature, standing above you.
“I want you to love me,” she implored, bending her head forward to stare you closer.
It took you a few seconds for this information to sink in. Then another couple for you to form a coherent response, which came out in the form of, “Say what now?”
The creature stood up, taller than she first appeared. About five to six feet in all, though she stood taller still with that oddly shaped… horn thingy on her forehead. Really, her entire appearance was odd. She was insect like, with wings sprouting from her back and dark gray skin. Her hair was ratty looking and had holes in it… along with her legs. Hot damn, it looked like they were gunned down by a mob hit or something like that. More swiss cheese than limb, really. How they even worked as functioning legs you had no idea.
Staring down at you with a small fanged smile on her face, she said, “I want your love.”
“Um, sorry, Miss… Alien creature thingy,” you said, staring into your hand still holding your beer bottle. Throwing it over your shoulder and taking a silent pledge to never drink again, you shrunk under the weird alien’s gaze. “I’m just not entirely sure how to give love… or whatever the hell it is you want.”
“I’m not Miss Alien creature thingy. I’m Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings!” Chrysalis shouted, pointing a hoof dramatically in the air.
“Yeah, well, that’s great, queeny, but can I go now?” you asked, slowly sliding from underneath her. “I was… um, real busy before I got here, so if I can go, that’d be just great.”
“No, please, wait!” Chrysalis said, holding a hoof to your chest. “I need you! I need your love!”
Slapping her hoof out of the way, you point a finger in her face and said, “Listen, lady… creature, I don’t know how to give you love! Alright? Sheesh, I can’t give you a giant heart like a Valentine card.”
“But that’s why I brought you here in the first place,” Chrysalis said. “I used a spell to find the one person in the entire universe that can love me. And that was you.”
“Okay, obviously the universe either has a sick sense of humor or is stupid as hell,” you said, shaking your head. “I ain’t got no love to give you, sweetie. So, if you can please just send me along back now…”
“Please! I beg of you, I need some love!” You noticed tears gathering in her eyes; Chrysalis was actually crying. “It’s been so long since I’ve had love. My followers no longer love me after I botched an invasion not too long ago, and I can’t find love anywhere else. Please, can you find it in your heart to share your love with me?”
“You’re not serious… right?”
Chrysalis sniveled, and by your cold, blackened heart you couldn’t help but feel bad. Damn your questionable morals when slightly intoxicated.
Looking underneath her you sighed, gulping. Holding your arms at either of your sides, you said, “Fine, get it over with.”
Giving a squeal of delight, Chrysalis wrapped her hooves around your torso and gave a big squeeze. You stood under there for several seconds, unsure of exactly what to do.
“Uh… okay then,” you said, getting up slightly to find the imposing creature from before now wrapping herself around you in a small ball. Hesitantly, you wrap your own arms around her, cradling her close in a hug. “Is this good?” you ask.
She nodded her head, eyes closed as she snuggled up closer while resting her head on your chest, horn sticking out past your shoulder. “This is peeeerfect,” she purred, forelegs still around your chest.
Okay… this officially took the cake for strangest thing you ever had to do. But you shrugged, thinking you might as well as go with it. Holding her back with either hand, you lifting her up high so she rested in your lap as you held her closer, slowly brushing her mane.
Chrysalis blushed, a large smile forming on her lips she tried to hide by laying her face into your shirt. “You’re really soft,” she mumbled, what definitely sounded like a cat’s purr from before rising from her chest.
You shrugged, brushing a hand slowly along her insectoid wing. “Guess I gotta work out more. But you’re pretty soft as well.” You gave her an extra squeeze to prove this, causing the changeling to chuckle in amusement.
So the two of you sat there, wrapped in one another’s arms and/or forelimbs, enjoying the company of just yourselves with an unexpected guest. It was sweet, really, you holding this strange creature in a hug that no one else would provide it. A warm, almost gentle fuzzy feeling descended upon you.
“Did I hear slurping?” you asked, looking up out of the hug for a quick moment.
The green veil of energy Chrysalis was sucking out from your heart area disappeared before you can catch a glimpse. “Nope, don’t think so,” she said. Yawning in a very cute fashion and smacking her lips while staring up at you with those wide, impossibly large eyes, she asked, “When we hug some more?”
“I… guess,” you replied, returning back to the heartfelt hug. Though now you were feeling a bit sleepy. Along with your limbs becoming incredibly heavy as well.
Wait, why did she have a crazy straw all of the sudden? Oh God, no—
