How to be a Mother

by Mattricole

Rating: teen
Tags: Scootaloo, Random, Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Apple Bloom, Comedy
Length: 4660

Diamond Tiara adopts Scootaloo.

After asking her father where babies come from, Diamond Tiara sees Scootaloo leaving the baby store, and finds out she's up for adoption. Wanting to know what it would be like to be a mother, she decides to adopt Scootaloo, and vows to give her a loving home.

Editing by Mudpony, the sexiest editor in existence.

This is the first story taking place in the Mother-verse

Cover art by Almas.

Published 2013-11-23 14:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-08 23:28:09 UTC

How to be a Mother

“Daddy, where do babies come from?” Diamond Tiara asked her father one day.

“Oh, uh, why do you ask, sweetie?” Filthy Rich asked with a cough. Don’t tell me they’re already talking about this in school? he asked himself.

“No reason, just curious,” Diamond Tiara replied as she took another bite out of her cereal.

“Oh, I see,” Filthy said, rubbing his chin. Well, I suppose a little white lie wouldn’t hurt, I don’t want to scare my little diamond. “You see, Diamond Tiara, you buy babies!”

“You...buy them?” Diamond Tiara asked, raising her eyebrow in confusion.

“That’s right. You go to a special place, and you buy your very own child!” Filthy said with a smile, patting Diamond Tiara on the head.

Diamond Tiara swatted away her dad’s hoof and got up from the table. “Okay, geez! You don’t have to rub my head like a magic lamp!”

“Well, have a nice day at school sweetie!” Filthy called out as his daughter left the house. “Well, hopefully I won’t have to deal with the talk anytime soon,” he said to himself, taking a sip of his morning coffee.

“Stupid daddy, always ruining my beautiful hair,” Diamond Tiara muttered to herself as she began the long trek to school.

“Bye, Miss Jalapeno!” Diamond Tiara turned and spotted Scootaloo waving at a old lady, and quickly dashing off to school.

“Have a nice day, Scootaloo!” the old mare called back with a smile.

Huh, what’s this place? Diamond Tiara asked herself as she walked towards the old looking house. “Excuse me, ma’am,” Diamond Tiara called out, causing Jalepeno to turn to her.

“Yes? How may I help you my child?” Jalapeno smiled gently.

“I was just wondering, what is this place?” Diamond Tiara asked as she pointed at the house, seeing a large sign that read “orphanage”.

“Oh, this is a orphanage my child,” Jalapeno replied. “It’s a place where adults can adopt a foal in need, who doesn’t have parents to look out for them.”

“Adopt? So, this is like a baby market?” Diamond Tiara asked, causing Jalapeno to laugh.

“Well, I suppose you could say that!” She said as she wiped away some tears. “But we have more than just babies, you saw Scootaloo, correct?” she asked, getting a nod from Diamond Tiara. “She’s one of our older orphans. Poor dear hasn’t had the happiest life I’m afraid.”

Scootaloo doesn’t have parents? Diamond Tiara thought as she rubbed her chin in thought. “So, since Scootaloo doesn’t have parents, can I buy her?”

“What?!” Jalapeno yelled out. “Oh no, I’m sorry but you are far too young for adoption, miss!”

“I have money!” Diamond Tiara said as she took out a bag of bits.

“I’m sure you’ll make a terrific mother,” Jalapeno said as she handed over the adoption papers and took the rather large bag of bits from Diamond Tiara, “I have a feeling you’ll make Scootaloo very happy!”

“Thank you Miss Jalapeno!” Diamond Tiara said as she shook Jalapeno's hoof. Taking a glance at the adoption papers with a smirk, she quickly trotted off to school. “I’m going to be the best mother ever,” she said to herself, unable to control her fit of giggles.

“Oh, Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara called out as she found Scootaloo in front of the schoolhouse. Scootaloo quickly turned around and frowned.

“Oh great, what do you want?”

“Oh, Scootaloo, that hurts!” Diamond Tiara said, wiping away a fake tear. “Is that anyway to talk to your mother?”

“My WHAT?!” Scootaloo screamed out, glaring at Diamond Tiara. “You are NOT my mother!”

“Actually, according to this,” Diamond Tiara said as she took out the adoption papers, shoving them in Scootaloo’s face, “I am indeed your mother!”

“W-what!” Scootaloo screamed as she stared at the adoption papers. “W-why would you adopt me?!” Scootaloo asked, unable to comprehend what was going on.

“Oh, I just wanted to give you a loving home!” Diamond Tiara smiled as she hugged her daughter. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you!”

“...I think I’m going to kill myself,” Scootaloo said to herself, cradling her head.

“Alright, girls!” Scootaloo yelled out as she got on her scooter. “Let’s go crusading!”

“Hold it right there, young lady!” Diamond Tiara called out as she rushed over. “I, as a responsible mother, will not let you endanger yourself!”

“Wait, what?” Apple Bloom turned to Scootaloo. “What does she mean by ‘mother’?”

“Nothing, look, mom, I can do whatever I-”

“How dare you take that tone with me young lady!” Diamond Tiara quickly bit down on Scootaloo’s ear and started to drag her away. “You are grounded for a week young lady!”

“Hey! You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends. Stop it!” Scootaloo cried as she tried to break free, to no avail.

“When your father gets home, he is going to-”

“What father?! You’re not married, mom!” Scootaloo cried as she rubbed her ear.

“Is she seriously calling Diamond Tiara ‘mom’ now?” Sweetie Belle asked Apple Bloom.

“Looks like it,” Apple Bloom sighed as she took off her helmet. “Looks like we’re not crusadin' today Sweets,” Apple Bloom said as she started her way back home, only to be stopped by Diamond Tiara.

“Apple Bloom, wait!” Diamond Tiara said as she put her hooves on Apple Bloom’s shoulders. “Scootaloo’s right. She doesn’t have a father.”

“Ah don’t either,” Apple Bloom replied, causing Diamond Tiara to groan.

“She doesn’t have a family. Don’t you feel bad at all?”

“Well, yeah, ah feel bad, but what do you want me to do about it?”

“Don’t you see, Apple Bloom? This is our chance to put our differences aside, to mend the soul of a broken child, to heal her heart from despair, and fill it with love!”

“Oh sweet Celestia, this is so romantic,” Sweetie Belle squee’d, smiling as she knew exactly what Diamond Tiara was meaning to say.

“What I’m trying to say is will you do me the honor,” Diamond Tiara began as she took Apple Bloom’s hoof in hers, “of being my bride?”

“Uh...what?” Apple Bloom asked as she rubbed her head in confusion.

“Together, we can give Scootaloo the home she deserves!” Diamond Tiara exclaimed as she hugged her child, who was still pouting. “Help me, Apple Bloom, if not for me, then for her.”

“Ah don’t know, Diamond, it’s just…” Apple Bloom trailed off, trying to think of the pros and cons. On one hoof, she was too young to marry, plus there was no way she could take care of a child, especially when that child was Scootaloo. On the other, Diamond Tiara was one of the prettiest mares in Ponyville, plus she’d be marrying into wealth.

“So, Apple Bloom, what do you say?”

“Well…alright,” Apple Bloom said as she held Diamond Tiara’s hoof. “Let’s be the best parents we can be!”

“I’m still trying to figure out how she adopted me,” Scootaloo muttered to herself. This was going to bother her all day.

“I don’t want to go to bed!” Scootaloo said as she was tucked in by Diamond Tiara.

“Aw, but sweetie, you have school in the morning, and you need to be well rested.”

“It’s seven! It’s way too early for bed!”

“Now don’t you use that tone with me, young lady!” Diamond Tiara scolded, causing Scootaloo to grunt.

“Sorry, mom.”

“That’s my little sugar biscuit,” Diamond Tiara cooed as she tucked in Scootaloo and kissed her on the forehead. “Good night, my little princess!”

“I don’t want to be a princess!” Scootaloo complained, causing Diamond Tiara to giggle.

“Right. Good night, my little knight.”

“Good night, mom!” Scootaloo said as she watched Diamond Tiara leave her room. She snuggled into her bedsheets with a sigh, until she realized what she said and smacked herself. “WHY AM I CALLING HER MOM?!”

Meanwhile, Diamond Tiara finally came into her room and laid down in bed, next to Apple Bloom.

“So, how is she?” Apple Bloom said as she read her book about building carts. Ooh, this one’s made o’ mahogany! she thought to herself as she turned the page.

“Our little Scootaloo’s comfy. At least, I hope so,” Diamond Tiara said as she snuggled into her bed.

“Well, that’s good. Ah just hope she doesn’t sneak out,” Apple Bloom said as she continued reading her book.

“Oh please. As if she would do that!” Diamond Tiara snorted. “She wouldn’t sneak out...right?”

“...Hold on let me check,” Apple Bloom said, getting out of bed and making her way to Scootaloo’s room. “Sorry to wake you, sweetie, but…” Apple Bloom stared at the empty bed, before moving her eyes to the open window with a blanket hanging out of it. “...Diamond’s gonna kill her.”

Scootaloo slowly entered back into her room, a duffel bag in hoof as she slowly crept towards her bed.

“That was way too easy,” she said to herself as she unzipped her duffel bag.

“And what exactly was ‘too easy’, young lady!” Diamond Tiara growled as she turned on the lights. “Gah, my eyes!”

“Argh, why did you do that?!” Scootaloo whined as she felt her eyes tearing up from the sudden light.

“Ah told you that wasn’t a good idea,” Apple Bloom muttered as she rubbed her eyes, “but no, ya wanted a dramatic effect!”

“Not now, Apple Bloom!” Diamond Tiara growled as her eyes finally stopped burning. “Now, just where in Equestria were you, young lady?!” Diamond Tiara yelled as she grabbed Scootaloo’s ear.

“Ow, Mom, that hurts!” Scootaloo whined as she tried to free her ear.

“Diamond, stop that!” Apple Bloom ordered as she pulled the two apart. “Please, calm down, honey. Let’s hear her out.”

“Grr, fine!” Diamond Tiara snapped as she went to sit back down.

“Now, Scoots, why did you run off like that? You had us worried sick!”

“I was just picking something up from the orphanage. It’s...the only thing I have left,” Scootaloo said as she picked up a teddy bear, with a red heart that read “I Love You” stitched on it.

“Oh, Scootaloo, why didn’t you say anything?” Diamond Tiara said as she hugged her daughter. “We could have picked that up if you wanted.”

“Sorry, mom, it’s just...I didn’t want anypony to know,” Scootaloo said as she stared at the teddy bear. “I mean, it’s so...girly.” She blanched as she tossed it on her bed. “It’s the only stuffed animal I won at the claw machines though, so I didn’t want to lose it.”

“Claw machines? Really?” Apple Bloom groaned, “Ya have got to be-”

“It’s okay, sweetie. I understand,” Diamond Tiara said as she nuzzled into Scootaloo’s hair, causing Apple Bloom to gag,. “Those games are very difficult, and you deserve to relish in your victory.”

“Thanks, mom,” Scootaloo said as she hugged Diamond Tiara back. “Does this mean I’m not grounded?”

“Oh Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara laughed as she pulled away from Scootaloo, gazing lovingly at her, “you’re grounded for the rest of the month.”

“What?!”

“The fact of the matter is you ran away from home,” Diamond Tiara said as she ushered Scootaloo into bed and tucked her in. “You’re lucky it’s only a month. I wanted to ground you for the rest of the year but your father thought that was too harsh.”

“Grounding her fer a month is ridiculous,” Apple Bloom sighed. “And ah thought we agreed she’s grounded fer a week?”

“Month, week, whatever!” Diamond Tiara grumbled. “Alright, fine, a week,” she said as she kissed Scootaloo on the cheek. “Promise you won’t run away again?”

“Promise,” Scootaloo grumbled, unhappy that her week of crusading was ruined.

“Good night, Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara said as she walked out of the room.

“Good night, Scoots!” Apple Bloom said as she rubbed the top of Scootaloo’s head. “If yer real good, Ah’ll talk yer mother into ungrounding ya,” she whispered, causing Scootaloo to grin.

“Goodnight, mom; Goodnight, dad,” Scootaloo sighed as her parents left the room. She snuggled into her blankets, getting comfy as sleep came to her. It wasn’t until she was just about to fall asleep that she realized...something. She slapped herself once again in anguish.

“I called her mom again, didn’t I?”

Parent-Teacher Conferance

“Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she walked up to her daughter. “What in the world is this?!” she asked as she showed Scootaloo a envelope.

“I-it’s nothing, Mom…” Scootaloo replied, looking away from her mother. Diamond Tiara scoffed and slammed the envelope on the table.

“Nothing? Nothing?! This is anything but nothing!”

“What in tarnation is going on?” Apple Bloom grumbled as she walked into the kitchen, sitting down next to Diamond Tiara. “What’s wrong, hun?”

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong! Scootaloo got in trouble at school again!”

“Ah know; we were there,” Apple Bloom sighed as she took the envelope in hoof. “It’s just a parent-teacher conference. What’s the big deal?”

“What’s the big deal?!” Diamond Tiara asked as she slammed her hoof on the table. “How can my little Scootaloo get an education if she gets kicked out of school?!”

“Diamond, Scootaloo isn’t going to be kicked out of school,” Apple Bloom reassured as she wrapped a hoof around Diamond’s shoulder. “Look, we’ll go to the conference, apologize fer Scootaloo’s misbehavior, go home, and have a nice dinner and a movie. How’s that sound, hun?” Apple Bloom asked as she nuzzled Diamond Tiara’s cheek, causing her to giggle.

“Oh, Apple Bloom, you always know how to make me feel better!” Diamond Tiara gushed as she turned her head and kissed Apple Bloom on the lips.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Scootaloo groaned as she covered her mouth. Her parents could be so embarrassing.

“Alright, class is dismissed. I’ll see you all tomorrow morning,” Cheerilee said, signalling the students to get up from their seats and rushing out the door. “Scootaloo, you stay!” Cheerilee shouted as she caught Scootaloo trying to sneak out.

“Sorry, Miss Cheerilee,” Scootaloo mumbled as she took a seat in front of her desk.

“Good, now, all we have to do is wait for Miss Jalapeno to get-”

“Miss Jalapeno’s no longer her legal guardian!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she slammed a document on top of Miss Cheerilee’s desk. “I am!”

“...What?” Cheerilee mumbled to herself as she looked at the document in front of her. As far as she could tell it was a legal document stating Diamond Dazzle Tiara (her student) as the legal guardian of Scootaloo (now Scootaloo “Pretty Face” Rich).

“As you can see, I am now the proud owner, I-I mean “parent”, of Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara said, smirking as she stared at a gasping Cheerilee.

“WHAT?!” Cheerilee once again shouted as she re-read the document. “IS THIS EVEN LEGAL?!” Diamond Tiara just shrugged in response.

“Ah don’t see why not. We got the document an’ everything!” Apple Bloom bragged as she sat next to Scootaloo smiling.

“...Apple Bloom, what are you doing here?” Cheerilee asked, though in truth she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

“Well, ah just couldn’t stand by and watch a single mother raise a child on her own!” Apple Bloom shouted as she thumped herself on the chest. “As a responsible member of the Apple Family, it was mah responsibility to take-”

“I asked her to marry me, and she agreed because she’s after my money,” Diamond Tiara finished, earning a glare from Apple Bloom. “Now, let’s get this conference started. Apple Bloom needs to fix dinner.”

“Uh...okay?” Cheerilee responded, unsure if she should call the mayor over this, but decided against it. Coughing into her hoof, she lifted a stack of papers to her face. “You do know why I called the two of you here today?” she asked with a smile, earning a glare from Diamond Tiara.

“Oh, I know alright!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she slammed her hooves into the table. “Scootaloo! I can’t believe you hit Truffle Shuffle!”

“But, Mom, I-”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses!” Diamond Tiara growled as she turned to Cheerilee. “Ma’am, I am terribly sorry for my daughter’s misbehavior,” Diamond Tiara said as she bowed her head, earning a rather awkward grin from Cheerilee.

“That’s...quite alright, Diamond Tiara.”

“Please, call me Madame Tiara.” Diamond Tiara said with a grin, causing Cheerilee’s grin to twitch.

“Okay…Madame Tiara” Cheerilee growled, unsure if she should give Diamond Tiara a detention for disrespectful behavior. “But really, I do believe we should ask Scootaloo why she hit Truffle Shuffle, don’t you think?” Cheerilee asked, causing Diamond Tiara to groan.

“Ah agree with Miss Cheerilee. We shouldn’t be talkin about Scootaloo as if she weren’t here!” Apple Bloom said as she wrapped a hoof around her daughter. “Now, Scoots, why did you hit Truffle Shuffle?” Apple Bloom asked, causing Diamond to growl.

“Honestly! What does it even matt-”

“He called mom fat…” Scootaloo muttered, causing Diamond Tiara’s eyebrow to twitch.

“What...was that, dear?”

“He called you fat, so I decked him in the face.”

“...I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!” Diamond Tiara roared as she quickly leaped off her seat and ran towards the door, only to be stopped by Apple Bloom.

“Diamond Tiara, stop!” Apple Bloom begged as she tried to keep Diamond Tiara from crawling away. “What kind of example will you be setting for our daughter?!”

“A good one!” Diamond Tiara barked back. “I’m gonna teach her nopony insults the Rich Family! And if they do, we teach them a lesson!”

“Diamond Tiara…” Apple Bloom muttered to herself, before leaning forward into Diamond’s ear, and started to whispering. Eventually, Diamond Tiara started to settle down, and stopped fighting Apple Bloom. “Better?”

“Yeah...a little bit.” Diamond Tiara replied as she went back to her seat. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at Cheerilee. “Sorry about that. So how much is it going to cost for you to forget about Scootaloo’s little...incident?” Diamond Tiara asked with a smile. Cheerilee brought her hoof to her face and sighed.

“...One hundred bits sound fair?” Cheerilee asked, causing Diamond Tiara’s grin to grow.

“I think that’s more than fair.” Diamond replied as she grabbed her purse, paying Cheerilee the allotted sum. “And another two hundred for a certain colt to get punished?” Diamond Tiara asked, jingling her coin purse in front of Cheerilee.

“...Just get out,” Cheerilee growled as she pointed at the door.

“Eh, it was worth a shot,” Diamond Tiara sighed as she ushered her family out.

“Thanks for getting me out of trouble, Mom,” Scootaloo mumbled as she lay in bed.

“It’s no problem, my little Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara giggled as she kissed Scootaloo on the cheek. “I would do anything for my little knight,” Diamond Tiara said as she tucked Scootaloo into bed. “Now go to bed, it’s way past your bedtime.” And with that, Diamond Tiara turned to leave Scootaloo’s room.

“Good night, Mom,” Scootaloo yawned as she snuggled into bed.

“Good night, Scootaloo,” Diamond Tiara cooed as she turned off the lights and exited the room. Turning towards her own room, Diamond Tiara giggled to herself. I’m such a good influence, she thought to herself as she entered her room and lay down next to Apple Bloom.

One Big Happy Family

“Diamond Tiara, we need to talk,” Filthy Rich said to his daughter, who was currently snuggling with Apple Bloom on the couch.

“Aw, can’t it wait until my show’s over?!” Diamond Tiara complained, not wanting to get up from her seat.

“Now, Diamond Dazzle Tiara!” Filthy yelled, pointing into the kitchen so the two could talk in private.

“Alright, alright! Sheesh!” Diamond Tiara yelled back. “Be right back, hun,” Diamond Tiara said as she kissed Apple Bloom on the lips and got up.

“Diamond Tiara, what is this?” Filthy Rich asked as he hoofed her a piece of paper. After a few seconds of looking at it, Diamond Tiara shrugged her shoulders.

“Adoption papers, why?”

“Diamond Tiara, what does it say on the adoption papers?”

“Uh...hold on,” Diamond Tiara said as she held up her hoof. “These papers do make me the legal guardian of Scootaloo, right?”

“Yes, Diamond Tiara, they do,” Filthy growled, tapping his hoof impatiently.

“So what’s the problem?”

“What’s the problem? What’s the problem?!” Filthy repeated slamming his hoof into the table. “Diamond Tiara, you’re too young to be adopting a child of your own! Let alone one that’s only a few months younger than you!”

“Oh come on! I’m doing a good job!” Diamond Tiara shouted back, causing her father to back up a step.

S-she’s never yelled at me before! he thought to himself with slight distress. It was the dreaded rebellious stage that he had heard of.

“And if you took a look at her grades, you would know she’s doing better than ever in school!” Diamond Tiara continued with a smirk. “She went from straight D’s to straight B’s! Not perfect mind you, but it’s close enough.” Filthy Rich sighed to himself as he watched his smirking daughter. Even he had to admit that improving Scootaloo’s grades was a great accomplishment.

“Still, Diamond Tiara, you must understand that-”

“And you’ve seen Scootaloo! Doesn’t she look happy?!” Diamond Tiara asked with a glare, causing Filthy to take another step back. “Can you really ask me to disown her? Do you know how crushed she would be?” At that Filthy couldn’t help but flinch. Again, she was right. The girl seemed so happy with her new family, and had even taken to calling him Grandpa, something he couldn’t help but smile at everytime he heard it.

“B-be that as it may, Diamond Tiara,” he started slowly. He only had one more shot at this, or otherwise he would fail. “You’re not even married yet! How can you take care of-”

“Oh right, forgot to tell you,” Diamond Tiara interrupted, hoofing over an invitation. Taking it from her, Filthy Rich looked at the invitation, his mouth falling open in shock. “Me and Apple Bloom are getting married in three weeks!”

“WHAT?!”

“Hey, I wanted to wait a few years, but Granny Smith wouldn’t stop pestering me about it,” Diamond Tiara said, as she turned and began walking back to the couch. “Even brought up some things about a “shotgun”, whatever that is!” she said with a giggle as she sat on the couch and went back to snuggling with Apple Bloom.

“Diamond Tiara!” Filthy Rich called out as he opened the front door. “I’m going to pay Granny Smith a visit. Be back in a little bit!”

“Bye, Daddy!”

“Bye, Mr Rich!”

“Bye, Grandpa!” he heard Scootaloo shout from upstairs, who was still busy with her homework. Filthy Rich sighed to himself as he closed the door behind him. He just couldn’t fathom what that old Granny Smith was thinking.

It didn’t take long for him to make it to Sweet Apple Acres thanks to his private chariot, and it didn’t take long to find Granny Smith, who was sitting on her porch with a empty cup, no doubt finishing it just before he arrived.

“Hello, Granny Smith!” he called out as he walked up to her and sat down on a chair next to her. “How are you this evening?”

“Oh, ah’m fine, Filthy,” Granny Smith replied with a smile, causing Filthy Rich to groan.

“Please, call me Rich,” he said with a strained laugh. How he hated his name. “Listen, I came over to talk about my daughter and your granddaughter.”

“Oh? Are ya excited fer the wedding like ah am?” Granny asked with a smile, trembling in anticipation. “Ah just love me a wedding!”

“That’s the thing, Granny. The two of them are far too young to be married!” Filthy shouted, earning a glare from Granny Smith.

“Too young fer marriage?!” Granny Smith yelled back, causing Filthy to lean away from her. He began regretting sitting in a chair. “Oh, so the two of them are too young fer marriage, but old enough fer a kid?! Is that what yer implying, Filthy?!”

“N-no, ma’am! It’s just…” Adjusting his tie, he cleared his throat and smiled at the old mare. “You see, they’re too young for a child as well! We need to convince them to take Scootaloo back to the-OWCH!” he cried as Granny hit him on the top of his head with a nearby cane.

“Ya want them to DISOWN her?!” Granny yelled out, snarling at him. “Filthy, how could ya just casually say that? There is nothing more important than family!” she scolded, causing him to sigh as he rubbed his aching head.

“Yes, I agree, but they aren’t a fami-” he stopped as he saw Granny lifting her cane, causing him to flinch in fear. The old mare had one heck of a swing.

“Right now, Scoots and Diamond are family! And those two love each other just as much as any other mother and daughter!” Granny scolded as she put her cane back down, causing Filthy Rich to sigh in relief. “An’ if Apple Bloom wants to be part o’ that family, then she has every right! And ah’m gonna do mah best to support her!”

“Granny…” Filthy Rich mumbled, and sighed. “Well, if you’re so dead set on this, I suppose I’ll just have to go along with it.” Otherwise you’ll just hit me again, he thought with a cringe. If letting his daughter get married meant him not getting hit with a cane, then he truly had little choice.

“Good,” Granny said with nod. Leaning back into her chair, Granny sighed to herself with a smile. “Those two foals really do make a cute couple, don’t ya think, Rich?” she asked, causing Filthy Rich to scratch his chin in thought. In only a second did he smiled with a nod.

“Yeah, I guess they do,” he said with a sigh. Maybe, just maybe with the support of both families, they could make it.

“Though ah still can’t believe mah little Apple Bloom got yer kid pregnant with Scootaloo!”

“...What?” Filthy turned to Granny, his face in utter shock.

“Ah know, right? Foals these days just don’t know how ta wait anymore!” Granny said with a hint of sadness. “But at least those two are taking responsibility!” she said with a shrug, eliciting a groan from Filthy Rich.

I’m not even going to bother.

“Do you, Diamond Dazzle Tiara, take Apple Bloom as your bride?” Mayor Mare asked, looking between the two fillies. Though they were awfully young to be married, Filthy Rich made her a offer she couldn’t refuse. Vacation to Saddle Arabia here I come!

“I do!” Diamond Tiara said as she gazed lovingly at Apple Bloom.

“And Apple Bloom, do you take Diamond Tiara to be your bride?”

“Ah do!” Apple Bloom replied as she gazed lovingly at her meal ticke-I mean lover.

“Then by the power invested to me by Celestia, I now pronounce you mare and mare! You may kiss the other bride!” And as she finished, the new married couple kissed passionately.

As the two walked away from the altar, Silver Spoon, the best mare, turned to Sweetie Belle in confusion.

“So...do you have any idea what’s going on?” she asked as she saw Scootaloo happily follow behind her...ugh, “parents”.

“You know, Silver Spoon, I don’t know what’s going on,” Sweetie Belle replied as she wrapped a hoof around Silver Spoon’s shoulder. “But what I do know is Diamond Tiara is happy, and so are my two best friends! Isn’t that good enough?”

After a minute of thinking it over, Silver Spoon nodded slowly. If Diamond Tiara truly was happy, who was she to judge?

“And besides, since those two are married now, that means we’re friends by association! Isn’t that great?!” Sweetie Belle said happily, causing Silver Spoon to pale.

Oh dear Celestia, what have you gotten me into, Diamond Tiara?!