The Winds of Winter: A Hooves Family Adventure

by defender2222

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dinky Hooves, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Other, Comedy
Length: 16935

The Doctor, Derpy and Dinky travel back in time to save Hearth's Warming before it is destroyed by hate and war.

When Dinky is cast as Clover the Clever in the school's Hearth's Warming Eve play, the filly is concerned she will not be able to do Clover justice. Luckily for Dinky her parents are the Doctor and Derpy, who quickly bundle their little girl up and take a trip via the TARDIS through time itself to see the first Hearth's Warming.

But when things don't go as planned the family realizes that there is more at stake than a mere play. If they don't find a way to set history right, it won't be just Hearth's Warming Day that disappears... it will be all of ponykind!

It all begins here folks as a brand new Hooves Family Adventure Series starts with this Christmasn/Hearth's Warming Special! Meet familiar characters as you've never seen them before and discover the answers to some of MLP's greatest mysteries. Grab your sonic screwdriver, get a handful of jelly babies, and plop on your fezes!

ALLONS-Y!

Published 2013-12-07 16:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-22 22:52:41 UTC

Part 2

"You're a cloud-licking, thunder fondling, storm sucking feather brain!"

"Dinky, that is a horrible thing to say!" Derpy exclaimed. The pegasus broke into a wide grin. "Well done!"

"Really mama?" Dinky said excitedly.

"Oh yes, muffin, I was highly offended. I especially hated the part where you discussed my parents and the legality of their marriage after they genetically created me."

The filly clapped her hooves together in glee. "I'm gonna be the best Clover ever!"

"No no no!" the Doctor shouted, banging his head against the TARDIS' main console. After the 'Founding of Equestria' went completely off the rails the Time Lord had marshaled his family back into the blue box and begun seeking out an answer to what he had just seen. Currently he was trying to smash his skull in to see if that would provide some solution. "That is not Clover the Clever!"

"Of course it was, you dirt sucking mud swimmer!" Dinky exclaimed, jabbing her hoof at the Doctor.

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!" Derpy called out. The mare quickly blushed. "Sorry, I kinda got wrapped up in the thrill of things."

"...was a hamster..." Dinky mumbled, jotting down the insult in her little notepad. "That is perfect, mama! Miss Cheerilee is going to be so excited when she sees how much effort I put into my part! I bet she gives me extra gold stars and everything!"

The Doctor turned his attention back to the monitor he was studying. "No Dinky, she will not, because that is not Clover the Clever you are mimicking!" He flipped a few switching and frowned at the readings. “The polarity of the neutron flow was reversed twice? That’s not even possible!”

"But... but she sounded just like that, Doctor!" Dinky exclaimed. "You heard her, didn't you? You aren’t going deaf, are you? You can’t go deaf, how will you hear my play?!" She scampered up to the Doctor, grabbed his tie, and bellowed in his ear, “CAN YOU HEAR ME!”

"Yes I can, no, I am not going deaf, and yes, I heard her but that could not be Clover the Clever!"

Derpy poked at the inside of her cheek with her tongue. "How can you be so sure? We've never met Clover the Clever before... maybe she was just a really rude mare who swore like a capricorn and history edited her down to the good parts."

"Derpy, I know that can't be Clover the Clever because I've read her unaltered journals and I would have remembered the chapter where she discussed her love of genocide and unicorn supremacy!" The Time Lord began to fiddle with some of the dials on the control panel. "Maybe we accidently ended up in the anti-matter universe..."

Dinky trotted up to her mother and tapped her on the foreleg. "Mama, I'm confused about something."

"That's ok, I'm confused most of the time too."

Dinky, well use to her mother, merely continued on. "I thought that Hearth's Warming Day was about the bonds of friendship... Clover, Smart Cookie and Pansy didn't seem that friendly." The little filly's eyes went wide. "Unless that's what friendship is! Oh, have Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon been acting as my friends all this time? Are the Cutie Mark Crusaders my mortal enemies who I should swear vengeance upon?"

Derpy considered this.

"The answer is no, Derpy," the Doctor called out, pumping one lever several times only to grumble when nothing change on the screen.

"Are you sure?" Derpy asked.

"Yes I'm sure! How could I not... are you just playing a joke on me?"

The pegasus smiled and stretched her wings. "Maybe..."

"Ugh," the Doctor muttered, running up to a panel and smacking it. "Playing jokes when we are facing the potential end of Equestria. Wonderful. Rose was never like this."

"Who's Rose?" Dinky asked.

Derpy leaned down and whispered. "Somepony who didn't know her place and tried to take what was mine."

"Like your muffins?"

"Kinda," Derpy said with a wink. A bit louder, she said, "Maybe Hearth's Warming Day celebrates those three ponies overcoming their differences and becoming friends. That seems like a touching story and sorta fits what the play is like. Maybe whoever wrote it decided to dumb it down for fillies and colts and got rid of the R Rated stuff."

“Why would it need to be dumbed down for fillies and colts?” Dinky asked, insulted that somepony thought she couldn’t follow something. For Celestia’s sake, she had solved the Atraxi Conundrum before she could walk! A play was nothing.

"They wanted to kill each other, Derpy," the Doctor pointed out as he turned a large crank, looking up expectantly only for his smile to fall when the lights above him turned blue instead of green and dubstep music began to play, "what would make them suddenly become friends?"

"A shared passion? Maybe they all like to knit."

"They all hate each other, so they have that in common," Dinky stated.

Derpy grinned. "Exactly!"

"No, not 'exactly'," the Doctor snarled, pointing his sonic screwdriver at the main console. The probe flashed blue, the pivoting head swirling for a moment before letting out a sound like an engine shifting down. "What? You shouldn’t sound like that…” He shook his head. “Anyway, Hearth's Warming Day was not established on mutual hatred!" Tucking his screwdriver away, he returned to the main monitor and looked over his findings, examining every bit of raw data he could find. "Something is wrong here. A temporal flux or a parallel timeline or a collision with dark matter..."

"Which is it?" Derpy asked, trotting over to the Doctor and looked over his shoulder as he looked over his final findings.

"None of it," the Time Lord finally admitted, hanging his head in utter defeat. "We are in the right place and this is the right time... but something is terribly, terribly wrong. Something that, if not fixed, could mean the end of Equestria as we know it." The Doctor trotted away from his console, his eyes shut as he allowed despair to begin to seep into his bones. He leaned against the rail and slumped his shoulders in defeat. "It is a waking nightmare: an Equestria divided along tribe lines. No unity, no harmony, no sense of mutual belonging. None of the three tribes could survive like this... they will fail and fall and I will have to watch, as I have so many times. I thought here, in this place, I might finally be able to stop running, as I have done for all my life… but instead I find that death and destruction and hate and wrath follow me-"

"We're a day early," Dinky called out.

"...what?" the Doctor said, instantly snapping out of his brooding.

Dinky had scrambled on top of her mother's back so she could get a better look at the TARDIS' console. She jabbed her hoof at one of the displays. "According to the timeosphere gauge, it is December 23rd, 15 BC. Hearth's Warming Eve happened on December 24th, 15 BC. We're a day early…. or 366 days late if you wanted to get here on December 23rd, 14 BC."

"But... but..." the Doctor sputtered, rushing back over to the controls and examining the timeosphere gauge. Dinky was right, it did read December 23rd. "I set this right before we left... did we hit an hour storm or a chrono-twister that damaged the TARDIS' internal directional drive." The Doctor pulled out his screwdriver once more and began to scan his beloved blue box. "This is not good, not good at all! If the TARDIS is damaged we can’t risk using her; we could end up flying through a sun.”

“Or make the Kessel Run in less than 11 parsecs!” Dinky exclaimed in fear.

“Exactly. I'll need to take a few hours to examine all the connections, to see-"

"Did you remember to set the clock back an hour after daylight savings?" Derpy asked innocently.

The Doctor looked at her, a befuddled look on his face. "How would that affect... unless one takes into account the passage of warp... nargles."

"I told you to set the clock back," Derpy said, tapping her hoof against the floor.

"The Doctor's in trou-ble!" Dinky sang.

The Doctor looked at the controls before nodding to himself. “Yes… yes I made a mistake. But like nearly all other times I have made a mistake-“

“Which are many… remember that thing with Twilight Sparkle and the brownies?” Derpy asked helpfully.

“-this one is easily turned into a success!” The Time Lord ran over to a door and, tugging it open, pulled out a massive rack of clothing, filled with all sorts of garment he had worn in past incarnations as well as pieces left behind by former companions before the Time Lord had finally settled down with Derpy. “By landing here a day early, we now have a chance to ensure that history occurs exactly as it should! Something foul is ahoof and it is up to us good, upstanding time traveling meddlers to fix it!” The Doctor ran over to the mare and filly and pushed them towards the rack. “Now quick, dress warm while I get some supplies! It will be awfully cold out there even without the windigos about and where we need to go will be even colder! No need to freeze our flanks. I will be back in a moment, just need to consult Clover’s notes!” He charged out the door like the fires of hell were on his hooves.

“Doctor!” Derpy called out.

“…yes?” the Time Lord said, poking his head back into the control room.

“Daylight savings time?”

The Doctor weakly smiled and walked over to the TARDIS’ clock.

“Fall back, not spring ahead.”

“Right right,” the stallion said with an embarrassed grimace.

“What would he ever do without us?” Dinky said, trying of a spare pair of the Doctor’s ‘brain specs’.

~DH~DH~DH~

“So, where are we going exactly?” Derpy asked, flipping the long brown, green, yellow, red, black, and blue scarf over her shoulder. A fedora topped her head and the long brown coat she wore hid her wings, which was great, since they were making their way through earth pony territory; also there was candy in the pocket which, while a bit fuzzy, was still tasty. Dinky was wearing a red stocking cap (reversed to hide her horn… and to let her happily play with the poof ball that now hung in front of her) and a fluffy yellow winter coat.

The Doctor was decked out in a tall furry hat and a black Reinssian long coat he’d picked up from the year 823 AD during one of their many almost-revolutions. “It is useless to try and talk to any of the leaders.”

“Since they are frozen?” Dinky asked, kicking at some snow and giggling as it flew all over.

“Not those leaders, Dinky. Since they are frozen the tribes will elect new leaders, most likely Clover, Smart Cookie and Private-“

“Commander,” Derpy reminded him.

“-Commander Pansy. I might be an eternal optimist but even I can see that way will only be a waste of energy.”

“So we are giving up, then?” Derpy asked, considering this. “Ok, I’m in!” She fell to the ground, threw her forelegs out and shouted, “I give up universe! Bring on chaos and broccoli muffins!”

“We aren’t giving up,” the Doctor stated, helping Derpy back up. “We are going to find the one pony that can help settle all of this rubbish.”

“Princess Celestia?” Dinky asked.

“No.”

“Why not? The Princess is pretty tough and strong…”

“And at this point she and Princess Luna are younger than you… and are under the protection of Lord Tydal and the capricorns of Bridle Bay.”

Dinky sucked in her lips and shook her head. “Yeah… let’s not go visit the capricorns.” They had been learned about the capricorns last month during geography class and Miss Cheerilee had explained about the warrior cultural and their king, who’d raised Princess Celestia and Luna when they were foals. While most of the boys, and Scootaloo, had been excited to hear more war stories about the mighty capricorn army that swam beneath the waves and fought glorious battles against deadly foes, Dinky had quickly decided that of all the many species her and her family could visit, the capricorns would not be one of her picks.

“Is it me?” Derpy asked.

“Why would… no, Derpy, it isn’t you,” the Doctor said, noticing the mare’s sly smile. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Derpy was a notorious prankster… and unlike some ponies, she hid her talents quite well. “We need to find Starswirl the Bearded.”

“I dressed up for him for Nightmare Night a few years ago!” Derpy said happily. “Twilight did too… she was so embarrassed!”

“That’s because your costume was better than hers, mama!” Dinky chimed in.

The Doctor continued on, having long gotten use to Dinky and Derpy going off on weird tangents while he was trying to explain his plans. “The problem isn’t mechanical, my screwdriver told me that much back in the cave, so either another race has interfered with their emotions and feelings, or some kind of magic gobbly gook has been placed the founders. I’m leaning towards the first but I can’t rule out the second, which means Starswirl is our best bet, as he is the greatest mage in this era.” The Doctor paused, scanning the snowy landscape before deciding they needed to hang a left at the next rock formation. “An added advantage is that as Clover’s mentor, he might be able to snap her out of whatever hex or jinx she is under.”

“How are we going to find Starswirl?” Derpy asked, readjusting her scarf. “What if he’s with the other unicorns?”

“He isn’t,” the Doctor said, reaching into his jacket and snagging a small book out. “This is a copy of Clover the Clever’s diary.”

“You stole her diary?!?” Dinky gasped.

“No… they sell them at most bookstores.”

“Oh… right,” the filly said, instantly deflating her outrage.

“Now then, when Princess Platinum decided to lead her tribe towards the great mountain, Starswirl charged Clover with acting as her protector and guide.” The Doctor ducked under a tree branch, flakes of snow raining down upon him. “She wrote that Starswirl had decided, while she went on this task, that he would head off to a ‘point of great spiritual power and enlightenment’ in order to seek out answers from the universe that might allow him to better guide his tribe and prevent the errors that had doomed their lands the first time. That point happens to be just a mile from here.” The doctor pursed his lips in thought. “She then went into rather graphic detail about a rather erotic dream she had… Clover was into some strange things. Only can tell that though if you use the cipher she hinted at in 15th entry.”

“What things?” Dinky asked, only for Derpy to cover her ears. “Hey!”

“Doctor…”

“Right right, no naughty talk in front of Dinky until she is 13.” The Time Lord cleared his throat. “Now then, let us just continue on-“

“HALT!”

The family spun around and came face to face with four earth pony guards who’d managed to sneak up behind them. Each was dressed in heavy cloth cloaks and the only metal they wore was the horseshoes upon their hooves, each one sharpened to such a point that they were like axe heads.

“Stallions sure were… bigger bin this time,” Derpy whispered, craning her neck up as the massive stallions stomped towards them.

“Let me do the talking,” the Doctor said. “Remember, we are a family of earth ponies just out looking for some roots for a stew. Do not let them know you are a pegasus or Dinky is a unicorn. If we do this right we might even be able to get them to help us” He flashed a smile at the grim-looking stallions. “Hello gentlecots, my name is-“

“We don’t care what your name is, blood-traitor,” one of the guard’s snapped, snatching Dinky’s cap off and revealing her horn.

“How did you know?”

“You weren’t whispering as loud as you thought you were,” the second stallion said.

“Oh,” the Doctor said morosely. “Don’t suppose you could let us go with a warning?”

“March, traitor.”

Dinky glared at the stallions, stomping her hoof. “That’s mine!” she shouted, trying to snatch her hat back, only to be knocked away by the first guard.

“Learn your place, you pathetic little runt!” the guard snarled, slamming his hoof down mere inches from Dinky’s face. The guard turned, only to find that the Doctor had stopped moving and was now glaring at him.

“That…” the Doctor said coldly, his eyes narrowed and his face stern, “…was the dumbest thing you could have ever done. Had you just taken us, you might have stood a chance. Now there is no power in the world that can save you from what is about to happen.”

“Are you threatening us, blood traitor?”

The Doctor shook his head. “Oh no. Not me. You only wish it were me. Me, you might have a chance. Me and you might actually be able to lead a normal, all bit dull, existence after today. Not me though and you want to know why? If there is one thing I have found true, in all my travels, through all the many times and worlds I’ve gone through, I have found one truth to be true. Just one. Would you like to hear it?” He leaned in close, whispering the secret knowledge. “Never… and I mean never… hurt a foal in front of its mother.”

“You…” Derpy whispered, staring down at Dinky’s shaking form, “hurt…” her head snapped up, the stallions took a step back as her eyes focused on them… both her eyes, in tandem, “…my...baby.”

She never raised her voice. That was the worst thing: the fury of Derpy Hooves.

She just… broke them. All their training, all their skills and strength and abilities… they were meaningless. She was like the thunder and the lightning and the storm rolled into one. Those that tried to defend themselves found that their blows were as effective as raindrops upon heavy stone. She just kept coming at them, bringing with her pain the likes of which they had never felt. Even after she was done with one and left him to focus on his companions the stallion would still weep for the pain remained, buried deep within his bones, tattooed upon his flesh much like his own cutie mark. She never screamed though, never shouted… she just kept coming.

“Here’s your hat, muffin,” Derpy said happily, pulling the red stocking cap from the one guard’s trembling form.

“Thanks mama!” Dinky said happily, slipping her hat back on and happily bopping the poofy ball at the end of it.

“Hmmm,” the Doctor said, looking down at the guards. “Consider that a well-learned lesson. Now then, ladies, let us continue on. Starswirl is around here somewhere and we must-“

“As much as things change…” a voice called out, the family once more whipping around towards another stallion that had managed to sneak up on them.

“How do ponies keep managing to do that?” the Doctor complained.

“You look like the pony in my magic textbook!” Dinky exclaimed excitedly.

“That, my dear, is because I am the pony from you magic textbook.” The old stallion tipped his dark blue hat, his beard brushing against the snow upon the ground. He had a golden tan coat and wore a long blue cloak dotted with stars and a trim of bells. A great oaken staff was held in the crook of one of his forelegs, twisted and weathered yet strong; much like its owner. The stallions face was old but his eyes, while deep and dark, held a youthful spark within them that had not been diminished by his many years. He was at once old and young, with one hoof in the realm of mortals and another in the land where the never-dying trod. At once Dinky and Derpy looked upon this stallion and thought of the Doctor. “Starswirl the Bearded, at your service. I’ve been waiting for you, Doctor.”

“Starswirl, I am… wait, what?” the Doctor blinked. “How do you know my name?”

“He knows your name?” Derpy asked, looking around nervously, expecting those creepy Silence aliens to suddenly appear.

“Not that name… I mean how do you know-“

“That you are the Doctor?” Starswirl asked with a smile, approaching the family. He gave the earth pony guards a glance, knocking one with his staff and muttering to himself, clearly annoyed that they had attacked the family. “I know your name and those of your companions for the same reason I chose this place to meditate: you told me.” At their confused looks, Starswirl smiled and motioned for them to follow. “To see you all so young… it warms my heart. But come, we can discuss this all on our way.”

“On our way?” Derpy asked. “On our way where?”

“Where else?” Starswirl said. “On our way to save Hearth’s Warming, of course!”

Part 3

“Are we all set?” Clover asked the assembled unicorns, each one a leader in their own right. The unicorns had always been a proud tribe and independent as well; many would identify themselves as belonging to their family first, then the tribe. They weren’t like the pegasi, who were a true army that viewed family as little more as identification, or the earth ponies that blended their ranks so much that they were all related to each other in some way or form. The unicorns were less of a tribe and more of a collective of families… one that, granted, was united at the moment by a common goal.

But that unity was always hanging on by a thread… a thread balanced on the edge of a blade, fraying forever away at it.

Clover looked the assembled family heads, leaning over the heavy oak table. Outside their tent the howling wind ripped through their camp, chilling even those unicorns who knew how to cast warming charms. They had decided not to put out any guards, reasoning that the winds would make it impossible for pegasi to fly and the snow too deep for earth ponies to march. A downpour of sleet fell upon the land, covering the green groves that had first attracted all three tribes to the land, frosting them over like a sheet cake. But if any of the elite unicorn mages and nobles cared about this they did not show it, for their thirst for war and battle pushed aside all other needs.

“Yes,” General Light Burst said, his horn glowing as he grabbed one of the wooden figures that represented a platoon of unicorn mages and placed it on the map laid out before them. “The fifth brigade is in position on the outcrops here and here.” He set another wood figure across from the first. None of them worried about how the fifth brigade would manage out in this weather; they were the grunts of the Mages Corps, with no family name to fall back on and no grand magics to earn them a spot of safety. They would just have to make do. “They await your orders, Clover.”

“Very good,” Clover said, nodding her head, allowing her eyes to slowly slide across the table, staring at each and every unicorn that stood before her. These were the cream of the crop, the greatest of unicorn society. She let her eyes linger on a few, searching for any sign of weakness among them, any hint that they didn’t have the stomach for what was to happen. Satisfied with what she saw, the purple unicorn pushed away from the table and smiled grimly. “Then we are all set. Soon our scouts will lead those mud-eaters and cloud-cuddlers into the valley. They will spot each other,” Clover levitated a winged wooden pony figure and dragged a little earth pony carving across the map, “and believe that the other set them up. We will let them do what they do best: waste their energies fighting each other. When they are bleeding and broken then, and only then, will our armies strike! Those that do not throw themselves onto their bellies, begging for the blessing of enslavement, will be wiped away.”

“And maybe even some that beg,” a particular nasty piece of work named Sunstream said with a vicious grin. Of all the unicorns, Sunstream did the least to hide her more baser thoughts and desires. The others could pretend they were doing this for the good of ponykind… Sunstream just wanted to watch the other tribes burn.

Clover returned the smile with just as much ferocity. “Indeed. Nothing like a bit of mindless bloodshed to put the fear of the unicorn in those stunted fools.” She turned her back on the generals and waved them away. “Get some rest… tomorrow we avenge our Princess and once and for all end the stain of the earth and pegasus ponies!”

Clover didn’t even glance back as the family heads pushed away from the table, casting warming charms upon themselves before leaving the tent and braving the raging snowstorm. The weather had taken a turn for the worst since the beginning of the meeting and the howling wind showed no signs of calming. Clover, for her part, stared at the back of her tent, her shoulders firm and straight as she mentally ran over her battle plans for the 20th time. “Is there a problem, Sunstream?”

The orange unicorn mare removed her hood, shaking her blood red mane. “No problem, Clover, far from it. I have preached to you for months now that this was our only course of action and you routinely pushed my ideas aside, saying them too extreme. And now here you are, ready to enact the final option… what changed?”

Clover clicked her teeth together, considering her rival’s words. “My mind was opened in that cave, Sunstream. I saw the pettiness and greed of the other tribes and it was as if the scales had fallen from my eyes. I saw them for who they truly were and now I know that there can never be peace. If we are to survive it must be as one race, one tribe… not a melting pot.”

“Good to hear, Clover, go to hear,” Sunstream said. “There might be hope for you yet. I always told Lovelymoon-“

“Do not mistake this peace between us as respect,” Clover said tersely. “When I am done here I am going to examine just who should be allowed to stay… and who should be joining our foes. Goodnight, Sunstream.”

The orange unicorn smirked. “Yes, of course.” She pulled her hood back up, only to pause at the tent’s doorway. “And you might want to look into some of those mane-dying spells… you’re too young to be going gray.”

Clover frowned at her rival’s barb, waiting until Sunstream had left before making her way to a mirror. She ran a brush through her mane, startled at all the snowy white strands that were now woven through her purple and magenta mane.

She never noticed the ice that was forming along her flank…

~DH~DH~DH~

“Mama, can we get a doggie?” Dinky mumbled, her little eyelids fluttering shut as she fought against the pull of the Sandman. Her little hat sat crooked on her head and her tushy was sticking up in the air as she wiggled against her mother’s warm coat, Derpy’s scarf serving as a blankie.

“We’ll see, muffin,” Derpy said as she trotted into the TARDIS, her wings flared out to make sure Dinky didn’t slip off her back. She’d accidently ripped the coat while taking down the earth ponies and while Starswirl had been happy to repair it Derpy had asked him to leave two shallow cuts so she could keep her wings spread.

“Can he be a robot doggie?” Dinky yawned. “With… wheels and a funny yip yip and a laser under his nose?”

“Sure thing, baby, a robot doggie.”

“Mmm…” Dinky said, drifting off to sleep. Derpy smiled and trotted down the hall towards Dinky’s room, wanting to deposit the little filly in her bed.

“It’s been a long day for her,” the Doctor said with a yawn of his own. “Long day for all of us.”

Starswirl nodded, looking about the TARDIS. The Doctor noticed that he did not gaze upon the fantastic device with wonder and amazement. He did not rush in and out of it, stammering in delight that it was ‘bigger on the inside’ like so many did (except Derpy, who had only asked ‘where is the muffin room?’). He did not look at the strange devices and machinery that, for this era, would have seemed impossible, and wonder what they were. No, Starswirl the Bearded looked upon the TARDIS like a man returning to his childhood home and finding that while some of the lamps might have changed and there was a new throw rug, the place still remained the same.

“Hmmm… when did this panel get scratched?” Starswirl asked.

The Doctor, who was busy removing his hat and coat, glanced over at the famous mage. “A few years ago. Tricky business involving a potato-dragon named Strax but we sorted it out.”

Starswirl began to chuckle. “You told me I did it… should have known you were trying to pass off the blame.”

“Doctor, I didn’t know you knew Starswirl the Bearded!” Derpy said, returning to the console room sans her winter gear, a basket of chocolate chip muffins replacing the filly on her back. She handed them out, knowing that the Doctor would need a nice shot of sugar to keep him up and ready.

“I don’t… or at least I don’t yet.”

The mage nodded, looking up from the main console. “Indeed, Doctor. While this is your first meeting with me it is not mine… nor will it be my last, if I am to wager.”

“Of course!” the Doctor exclaimed. “That explains it!”

“Explains what?” Derpy asked, munching on her treat.

The Doctor grinned in delight. “Oh, this is brilliant, absolutely brilliant!”

“Doctor…” Derpy said, trying to get the Time Lord’s attention; the Doctor commonly forgot that others couldn’t hear his thoughts or follow his logic and if not snapped out of his internalized ramblings he would merely continue going deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole until the chain of thoughts could no longer be followed.

“Oh… right right, sorry about that.” The Doctor rubbed the back of his head, his grin still threatening to split his face. “This is just so fantastic!”

“What is, Doctor?”

“Starswirl, Starswirl of course! His first appearance in the history books was 20 BC, five years before today. Ponies have wondered for centuries where he was and what he was doing before that. He is, after all, one of the most famous mages in history and anypony would think that tales of his youth would be just as important as tales of his winter years.”

“Autumn years,” Starswirl grumped, though there was a teasing glint in his eye.

“Yet all we know is that one day he showed up, the most skilled mage in unicorn history, and took Colver as his apprentice. It was a mystery wrapped in a riddle sprinkled with coconut. But now it makes sense! The reason Starswirl does not appear in the texts is because he wasn’t here! He was off with us, or a future version of us, having grand adventures and such!”

The unicorn’s horn glowed as he removed his hat. “When you first met me I was young and foolish and lazy… and, I can admit, quite arrogant. I was a shadow of who I am now and all I have and achieved has been in your name and due to your help.”

The Doctor practically skipped to the controls of the TARDIS. “Oh, this is utterly delightful!”

“It is!” Derpy said in delight. “Isn’t it great how this solves all our problems with Clover and Smart Cookie and Commander Pansy going insane!”

The Doctor blinked, staring at Derpy before leaning in towards Starswirl. “I can’t tell if she honestly believes that or is being scathingly sarcastic.”

“And you never find out,” Starswirl stated. “Wait, what about Clover?”

The Doctor waved dismissively at Starswirl. “Oh, you know, her suddenly deciding to subscribe to unicorn supremacy and threatening genocide against the other tribes. Nothing to worry about now that you are here.”

“What… what has happened to my Clover, Doctor!?!” Starswirl yelled. “What has been done to her?”

“I don’t know… I assumed you would tell us.”

“Why would I tell you? What would I tell you? How would I know?”

The Doctor frowned, staring at Starswirl and waiting for the punchline. “I… I assumed you knew. Didn’t I tell you about this when I sent you to wait for us?”

“Of course you didn’t!” The mage began to pace. “I asked you why I needed to wait for you but you said it would be ‘spoilers’ and that you would let me know what was going on. What do you mean Clover is now a unicorn supremacist?”

Derpy looked back and forth between the two stallions. “Am I the only one completely lost?”

“No Derpy, you aren’t,” the Doctor grumbled. “I must have decided not to tell Starswirl what happened because he didn’t know when it happened to me… I hate future me.”

“And you’ll become him… so you are going to hate yourself!” Derpy ran over and hugged the Doctor. “But I still love you… is that enough?”

“Plenty,” the Doctor said with a smile. “Alright, long story short, Starswirl: Clover, Smart Cookie and Pansy have returned to their tribes ready to wage war on each other. Something happened to change the events of Hearth’s Warming…” the Doctor rubbed his chin. “No… no it didn’t. Today is Hearth’s Warming Eve, or it will be soon. That means what happened yesterday always happened and something happens to change things, and them, back to the way they were supposed to be.”

“…Clover is declaring war?” Starswirl said, trying to wrap his mind around this new information.

“Yes yes, but that is ancient history, or will be once we are done. Now then, we need to figure out what has happened and fix it!” The Doctor began to tap away at a keyboard, bringing up all the findings he’d managed to gather about Clover in the cave. “Now then, do you know any spells that would turn a sane pony into a bigot?”

Starswirl clenched his jaw, forcing down his concern for his companion and student and focusing on the task at hoof. It would not help them to have a panic attack now; he could worry about Clover once they had a solution. “Not that I know of. There are compulsion spells, to be sure, but most of them are centered around an object or being. Was Clover fighting to gain something?”

“Well, this land,” Derpy said.

“No, it would have to be smaller. The ‘Want It, Need It’ spell loses power as it is placed in larger objects. To place it on this entire country would make it worthless. A stone, perhaps, but not everything.” Starswirl began to puzzle out this riddle. “There are mind charms, of course, but they wouldn’t alter Clover, merely make her forget. Perhaps a dark mage used a combination of spells to achieve that affect. Combined several spells together, linking one to activate right after the other… that might achieve the effect we are seeing now.”

“Who might know how to do that?” the Doctor asked.

“Let us see…” Starswirl said, trotting over to another section of the console and, with skill that spoke to years of working at the controls, began to type in some commands. One of the monitors flashed and Starswirl began to go through the database on different species and their brands of magic. “Let us start with cultures and then narrow it down. The unicorns are a possibility but I doubt they would have used such a spell on all three tribes. Why not just make your enemies weak-willed? We can rule out the capricorns; they are a war culture yes but they have a strict code of honor and would see using magics like this as mockery of their god king. Same with the perytons… they honor battle almost as much as the capricorns. Besides, their spells are designed to manipulate the physical world, not the spiritual or mental ones. The griffons, perhaps, though there are so few of them that can use magic and those that can tend not to be warriors but scholars.

“The Crystal Empire might be our best bet. King Sombra was a well known dark magic user and did love using mind magic. According to this there were several other rulers who were believed to dabble into the dark arts, including his father King Mombro, who is the current ruler now. The crystal ponies also tend to be exclusionists and prefer not to intermingle with the other tribes.”

“Yes,” the Doctor said. “This could be a Crystal Empire plot to keep the three tribes from immigrating farther north!” The Time Lord rushed over to a level and began to prime it. “Alright, next stop the Crystal Empire!”

Derpy nodded. “At least the tribes won’t have to worry about the windigos while we’re gone.”

“What do you mean, Derpy?” the Doctor asked. “They should be deathly afraid of them! The windigos are attracted to hostilities!”

“But they must be gone,” the mare pointed out. “They were in that cave with Princess Platinum and the Chancellor and Hurricane and froze them… but when Clover and the rest began fighting they weren’t around! The founders were being much worse than the three rulers. If the windigos were around, they would have attacked them too.” Derpy paused, looking at the Doctor and Starswirl, who were staring at her in disbelief. “What? Are there muffin crumbs in my mane?”

“The windigos didn’t attack the founders,” the Doctor whispered. “Why wouldn’t they attack them?”

“They are attracted to negative emotions… if Clover was acting as you said they should have been swarming her,” Starswirl said, moving away from the controls and tugging on his beard as he considering this new revelation. “But they left her alone…. Why?”

The two suddenly looked at each other and, together, shouted, “Because they are using them!”

“Who is using who?” Derpy said in confusion.

“The windigos… oh, the windigos. Those clever little monsters! If they weren’t trying to destroy all of ponykind I would respect them for their cunning!”

“Doctor, walk us through this,” Derpy said, grabbing the stallion’s cheeks and forcing him to look her in the eye.

“Right… right right. Ok, so we always assume that windigos are predators, hunters that seek out their prey. In this case, the prey is ponies. The common view is that the windigos seek out ponies filled with negative emotions and pounce when the time is right, freezing them for… whatever reason they freeze ponies.

“But what if we are wrong? Most scientists will tell you that being a hunter is rather rough; the success rate of most predators is at best 30%. A ton of effort is put into failure. Wasted energy, lost time. So what is the answer? What is the better method? Simple: farming.”

“Farming?” Starswirl said.

“Farming. The windigos are farmers. They seek out fertile land… or ponies with the potential to feel great hatred or anger. They then plant the seeds, motivating them to continue on the path. They nurture that hostility until…” the stallion shrugged, “it’s time to harvest.”

“But Doctor, they didn’t harvest Clover or the rest,” Derpy reminded him.

The Doctor let out a laugh as he began to spin several dials on the console. “Ah, but that is because they’ve decided to move up in the world! Working on one pony at a time, that’s like growing a flower in a window box. The windigos want to go bigger, better! Take that flower and transport it to an entire field that is ready to be farmed… it just needs the right fertilizer.”

“The tribes,” Starswirl stated, eyes widening. “They infected Clover, the most staunch opponent against war…”

“…and sent her back to her tribe, filled with war-hawks ready to draw their swords. The same with Pansy and Smart Cookie. They eliminate the leaders, make their seconds war hungry, give them a battle cry to rally around… it’s perfect. This has been all about getting a bumper crop… three entire tribes of ponies, all at each others’ throats.” The Doctor shook his head. “Its horrible… brilliant… and horrible.”

“But why?” Derpy asked. “Why are the windigos doing this.”

The Doctor opened his mouth, only to blink and remain silent. He looked off to the side, considering Derpy’s question, before slowly shutting his mouth. “Right, don’t know exactly why they are doing it… but we will find out right now! Starswirl, please flick the blue lever three times! Derpy, spin that crank counterclockwise for 15 seconds!” The two ponies hurried over, following the Doctor’s commands as he began to press wildly several buttons. “Alright… if I’ve done this right, we should materialize in 10 seconds…”

“Materialize where, Doctor?” Derpy asked.

“In… Clover’s… tent!” The Doctor turned, grinning as Clover, curled up on a cot covered in blankets, began to fade in and out of the TARDIS. “Alright, hold… hold… now flick the yellow button Derpy!” The TARDIS jerked for a moment then stabilized, leaving the three ponies staring at Clover’s still sleeping form. “Perfect! Well done!”

“What did you just do?”

“Ah, I materialized the Tardis around Clover and then took her, and us, out of her tent. We are now back at the caves, which will give us plenty of peace and quiet to investigate your lovely companion, Starswirl, and fix her right up.” He clapped his hooves together. “Come along then, let’s go! No time like the present to save the past!” He trotted up to Clover and shook her. “Up up up up!”

“Mmm… but your hooves are so…” Clover mumbled.

The Doctor turned to Derpy. “As I said, into some strange things.”

“Allow me,” Starswirl said, marching over to Clover’s bed and leaning down close to the slumbering mare. “Clover…” he whispered, “you need to get up before you are late for your TEST!”

“Test?!?!” Clover screamed, leaping out of the bed, the blanket tangling around her and causing her to pitch forward. “What test… what…” The mare looked about owlishly before finally spotting the bearded stallion. “Starswirl? What… what…”

Derpy let out a gasp and the Doctor’s eyes widened in shock. Clover’s entire mane had gone snowy white and patches of her coat were frost covered, as if she were infected by some sort of hideous rash. Everytime the mare let out a breath a puff of white would escape her pale blue lips. Clover did not shiver though, or show any sign that she was cold, even as the ice that was replacing her coat crept down her legs and up her neck towards her head. Even her cutie mark was fading away, barely visible like the moon hidden by a swarm of clouds.

Starswirl forced himself to soldier on even as the horror of what had happened to her was presented to him. “It is alright, my faithful student, we are here to help.”

“Help… help?” Clover echoed, looking about in confusion. “Where are-“ she spotted the Doctor and Derpy and hissed. “What are those filthy creatures doing here?”

“They are here to help you, Clover,” Starswirl said gently.

“I don’t need the help from them…. unless they want to kill themselves and help me rid our kingdom of their kind.”

“Clover,” Starswirl said sternly, “the mere fact that you are thinking those things tell me something is wrong. The Clover I know would never act this way!”

“Then you didn’t know me that well, did you blood traitor!” Clover shouted, pushing herself away from her mentor, her body shuddering as if trying to rid her of his touch. “I thought so much of you, old graybeard, but now I see age has addled your mind and left you a dullard! You consort with this filth and dare say I am sick? Ha! It is you that I say is ill and the only cure is fire… fire and blood for all traitors to the great unicorn kind.” She locked eyes with her stunned mentor and snarled, “Move aside and allow me to end these two or I will break you, old fool.”

“I do not want to hurt you, Clover,” Starswirl said, his staff held tightly in his foreleg, “but I will if you insist on continuing on this path!”

“You… hurt me?” Clover laughed, lighting up her horn. “You think for a moment you can challenge me? Yoru feeble tricks are no match for my magic, you doddering old! The age of Starswirl the Bearded is over! I will-“

“CLOVER THE CLEVER!” Starswirl roared, his magic swirling around him. The mare backed up, eyes wide with fright as the lights dimmed around her and the bearded stallion seemed to grow larger and larger till he was her entire world. All else darkened and disappeared, leaving Clover to feel as if she were exposed to the harsh desert sun. “DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CHEAP CONJURER OF TRICKS! I AM NOT TRYING TO HARM YOU!”

Clover whimpered, falling on her belly even as the power of Starswirl receded and he appeared once more as his normal self. “I am trying to help you,” he said more gently, approaching the mare and tipping her chin up so she could look at him.

“Star… Starswirl…” Clover whispered, her voice sounding faint, as if she were in some deep cave. “Please… please… I keep trying to fight it…”

“Fight what?” Starswirl asked.

“The windigo,” the Doctor said, his screwdriver out and pointed at Clover. He smirked to himself as the sonic’s head rotated for a moment before locking into position. “Oh yes, you tricky little bugger… I didn’t know what to look for in the cave so I was able to miss you but now that I know to seek you out I have and know exactly what you are… well, say hello, dear.”

Clover’s head snapped up and the mare hissed, forcing herself away from Starswirl, “You can not win,” she said, though the voice was not her own. It was deeper, vibrating with a hidden fury. “We have taken the three and soon the tribes will wage war! By tomorrow we will having a feasting field the likes of which we have never beheld! Their frozen forms will feed us for centuries and you will soon join them, meddler! This little one is merely the first in many and there is nothing you can do to stop us!”

“Nothing? Nothing?” The Doctor laughed. “Oh, you sad little parasite. I take it back, by the way; I said you were a farmer but you’re really a parasite, aren’t you? That’s how you function, right? Don’t bother answering, I know all about you now.” He wiggled the sonic screwdriver. “Have all the data I need!”

“Doctor,” Derpy said, edging away from Clover, “please don’t taunt the parasitic ice monster.”

“Data… data? I care not for this data!” The windigo controlling Clover forced the mare to rise, the unicorn crying even as her lips were forced to move. The ice was now nearly covering her and they could see that it was rapidly spreading with each word the windigo spoke. “What can you do, fleshling? You are nothing but… meat. We are greater than you… greater strength, greater skill… greater intelligence.”

“Well then, oh great intelligence,” the Doctor said mockingly, “since you are so smart allow me to clue you in on something: I am no mere fleshling. I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the town of Ponyville in the country of Equestria. I'm 903 years old. I am the husband of Derpy Hooves and the father of Dinky and I am going to save Clover, Pansy, and Smart Cookie and then just because you’ve really annoyed me I am going to wipe every windigo off the face of the earth!”

“Is that suppose to scare me?” ‘Clover’ asked in disgust.

“Not really,” the Doctor admitted. “I just needed you distracted while Starswirl prepared his spell.”

‘Clover’ turned, only for Starswirl to jam the head of his staff into her side. The mare screeched like a banshee as blue magic surrounded her. “I will draw you out of my faithful student like poison from a wound,” Starswirl said sternly. “I suppose if it is good enough for you, Doctor, it is good enough for me!” he leaned in close, the light of his staff illuminating his face. “I am the archmage. I am the keeper of the lost spells. I am the 5th companion. I am the wielder of the azure flame and with it I will burn you away, parasite! Leave my faithful student or burn!” Clover opened her mouth and the ghostly form of the windigo rushed out, swirling around the TARDIS. It was smaller than they had expected, no bigger than a squirrel, and it let out high-pitched wails as it dashed around a mere inch off the floor.

“You… you think this means anything?” the windigo wheezed, darting towards a doorway, turning hateful eyes towards the group. Clover was now shivering, her legs trembling as her numbed nerves returned and she could finally feel the cold that had penetrated her veins. “I will merely find another… and then Doctor, I promise you, my brothers and I will-“

SPLAT!

“Mama?” Dinky said with a yawn, walking towards her mother as she dragged her blanket along with her, not noticing all the adults staring at her in shock, “why is everypony yelling?” The filly looked down at her left foreleg and squealed. “EEEWWWW!” She began to flail about, trying to remove the goopey remains of the windigo from her hoof. “Ew ew ew!”

“Well… that was anticlimactic,” the Doctor muttered as Derpy helped Dinky clean up and Starswirl gathered the sobbing Clover in his forelegs.

Part 4

December 24th, 15 BC- 8:50 am

“Pass the syrup,” Dinky said happily.

“What do we say?” Derpy said, plucking a banana nut muffin from the basket on the counter and carefully removing the paper from its bottom. The TARDIS’ kitchen looked like it would have been home in any house in Equestria and all the ponies found themselves quite comfortable there, having a leisurely meal around the thick oak table.

“Please pass the syrup,” Dinky said, stressing the ‘please’.

“Good girl,” Derpy said, pushing the bottle over. “Doctor, would you like a muffin?”

“I’m good, Derpy,” the Time Lord said, sipping his tea. “How about you, Clover? Might warm you up.”

The purple unicorn shivered slightly. She was wrapped up in several layers of heavy blankets and had a hot water bottle tied to her head. Her mane was slowly returning to normal and nearly all the ice had melted away, leaving her a shivering, wet mess. Starswirl sat next to her, using his magic to spoon feed her some oatmeal, not trusting her trembling body or her depleted reserves to do it herself.

“S-should we be doing this?” Clover said, her teeth chattering.

“I suggested we have eggs but they didn’t have any fresh ones in the fridge,” Starswirl said, taking a moment to blow on his mug of coffee before taking a long sip.

Derpy instantly got up from the table. “I suppose we could go get some… I’ll set the TARDIS to 423 AD. They had some great eggs-“

“No, I mean s-should we be having b-breakfast when the unicorns are about ready to engage the other tr… tr… tribes in bloody battle?”

The Doctor swallowed his tea with a noisy gulp. “I’m sorry, but I can’t really take you seriously with the stuttering. It is awfully distracting.”

“W-we are having breakfast while innocent p-ponies are being h-h-h-h-ACHOO!”

“Blow,” Derpy said, handing her a tissue. “There we go.”

“W-why aren’t you more concerned?” Clover grumped, hating the fact that they were treating her like a baby.

“We do something like this about once a week,” the Doctor said. “It’s hard to get excited after a while.”

Dinky nodded, looking up from the plate she was licking. “Uh huh! I only panic now if the entire world is in grave danger. Something like this? It’s a 50/50 shot if I get out of bed!”

At Clover’s exasperated look, the Doctor decided to take pity on the unicorn. “Miss Clover, I understand that you have gone through a rather traumatic event and now you are seeking out some way to fix this situation-“

“Which you are not to blame for,” Starswirl stated.

“-in as quick a manner as possible. And while I will be the first to admit that rushing in without a plan is fun-“

“Very very fun!” Dinky said. “The last time we got slushies.”

“Slushies being a war race from Alpha Centari,” Derpy informed Clover and Starswirl.

“They were cherry flavored!”

“And deadly… deadly, deadly cherry slushies. Stained the Doctor’s tie terribly.”

“-we are not going to be doing that this time.” The Doctor grabbed a banana and carefully peeled it before continuing. “Let me ask you something, Miss Clever: what would you have us do?”

Clover, without even a pause, blurted out, “R-return to the camp and explain to them that the w-windigos are trying to flare up the war so they can encase us all in ice and f-f-f-feed off of all of us! Then, they’ll-“

“Not listen to you and continue on with the war,” the Doctor said, taking a bite of banana. “They’re idiots, my dear.”

“He does have a point,” Starswirl admitted. “For all their talk of ‘unicorn supremacy’ and that we are the ‘thinking ponies’, we tend to be quite short-sighted and unable to see the big picture.”

“In other words, dumb,” the Doctor stated.

“That’s why I’m glad I’m a pegasus,” Derpy said.

“Me too,” Dinky said. When the others looked at her she grinned. “I’m a special pegasus with a horn instead of wings. Pegasus power, yeah!”

“Allow me to break down exactly what would happen, Miss Clever,” the Time Lord said. “You would return to your camp and tell them what you had discovered. They, being already war hungry even before you showed up, would not believe you. Its not your fault because, again, they are blood thirsty morons. They would demand proof and you would have none…”

“Because we flushed the proof down the potty because it was yucky,” Dinky stated, subconsciously wiping her hoof with her napkin.

“…and without proof they would think you had gone mad or that the earth or pegasus ponies had managed to do something to you, just like they had done something to Princess Platinum.”

“Or that you had gotten cold hooves,” Derpy stated. “Which… you kinda did, which is why you are shivering and dripping on my kitchen floors. Dinky, can you get a pan or something?”

“Okay, mama!” Dinky said, leaping off her stool and dashing towards the cabinets, noisily searching for something to collect the Clover-drippings.

The Doctor took another sip of tea. “At worst they would lock you up or execute you. At best… well… they would get distracted by something shiny. My money is on the shiny thing but why risk it?”

“They… they would believe me!” Clover exclaimed, waving her forelegs about and nearly knocking the blankets off her shaking body. “I listened to me when that windigo had control of me!”

“Because you were telling them what they wanted to hear,” Derpy stated. “If some pony told me muffins were yummy, I’d totally agree with them!” Her smile instantly dropped and she reached over, grabbing a butter knife and toying with it, pressing it slowly into a tender bagel. “But if somepony told me that we should ban muffins forever, even if they had the best of reasons… I don’t know what I would do.”

“Yes, well…” Clover said nervously, subtlety shifting closer towards Starswirl, “they will listen to me now. I will use logic and reason and explain to them what has happened and they, being rational ponies will hear me out and they are never going to believe me, are they?”

Starswirl rubbed her back. “I’m sorry, my dear. I know you always believe the best in them and hope that they will see things your way but they are simply too blinded by their own faulty beliefs to listen to you. The windigos made you say just what they wanted to hear… it wouldn’t have mattered who said it, most of them were just happy to have somepony finally giving them permission to go to war.”

“So there is nothing I can do to fix this?” Clover said sadly.

“Indeed,” the Doctor said, reaching out and patting her foreleg before grabbing an éclair. He happily munched on it, not noticing the looks he was getting for the rest of the group. “What?”

“Doctor?” Derpy said, pointing towards the heartbroken Clover.

“Oh! Oh, I am sorry! You can’t do anything but we can!” He laughed to himself. “I’m sorry, my dear, I didn’t mean to worry you like that.”

“Doctor?” Derpy said when the Time Lord continued consuming his éclair. “How are we going to fix this?”

“Ah, yes, sorry about that… I always seem to get scatterbrained before I finish breakfast. Most important meal of the day and all that.”

“…Doctor!” all of them shouted.

“What… oh, the plan, yes.” He leaned forward, a teasing grin on his face. “Tell me Miss Clover… have you ever heard of ‘Shock and Awe’?”

“I have!” Dinky said, running back to them with a pot on her head. “WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”

BANG!

“I’m ok!” Dinky called out.

~DH~DH~DH~

December 24th, 15 BC- 8:45 pm

“Commander, shouldn’t we wait for Clover?” Goldleaf said softly, her horn glowing as she attempted to pierce the darkness around them. Under any other situation they would have avoided lighting up their horns, not wanting to give away their position to the enemy, but the weather ensured that would not be a problem. The clouds had grown so thick that not even the great pale moon could pierce them and the cold, swirling winds made it so their glowing horns were barely visible 3 feet in front of them. “And shouldn’t we follow the plan she drafted?”

“No, lieutenant,” Sunstream said sternly, forcing herself to keep moving forward. The snow and ice clung to her skin and weighed down her cloak. She could see that several of the unicorns around her were barely managing to stand, the icy having adhered to their legs and made it near impossible to push forward. Goldleaf’s own brilliant mane had frozen solid and would not budge even if she struck it with a hammer. “We press on and take the advantage now!”

“But we can barely move…” Goldleaf murmured, straining to open her eyes. The ice had coated the lids and held them fast, making it impossible for the mare to see where she was going.

“We press on!” Sunstream snapped, though it was hard for the other unicorns to hear, what with the mare’s jaw nearly frozen shut. “We-“

Sunstream stopped, though not because of the ice and snow. No, what halted her forward movement was Smart Cookie’s icy form blocking her way. The mare turned and looked at the unicorn, only her eyes untouched by the frozen sheen that coated her form. Her mouth opened to unleash a stream of curses, only for a wisp of blue-ice fog to slip from her mouth, briefly taking the form of a ghostly stallion before rocketing into the air, lost among the snowflakes. Smart Cookie’s eyes widened as she came to her senses and realized what she doing and where she was.

“ATTACK!” Sunstream roared, the unicorns firing off their attacks. Smart Cookie cried out for her soldiers to stop but her screams were drowned out by the sounds of ponies lashing out at each other. Smart Cookie forced her freezing form to turn and she spotted Pansy to her right, the mare’s wings flared out and a snarl on her lips even as tears of despair rolled down her frozen face.

Unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies launched themselves at each other, blindly attacking whatever they found within striking distance. Many ended up attacking members of their own tribe, the icy winds playing cruel tricks upon them: earth ponies would have frosty fake horns form upon their foreheads, unicorns would discover snow wings upon their back, and pegasi would be forced to remain on the ground as their wings iced over to their sides. Several ponies tried to grab their opponents and wrestle them to the dirt, only to find themselves stuck and the snow solidifying the two into one massive lump.

Through it all the windigos swirled above and around them, howling in glee and delight. The horde could taste the anger and the hate and the fear and soon they would feast like kings upon the foolish ponies. The fleshlings would feed the horde for years, allowing them to grow bigger and stronger. More so, their life energy would let the windigos venture out further, to find new grounds to hunt upon and new creatures to use as their incubators for precious emotional energy.

It was only a matter of time…

“HELLO EVERYPONY!”

Pegasus, earth pony, unicorn and windigo all looked up, only to slam their eyes shut as a brilliant blue light exploded in the sky. The ponies fighting below found themselves pausing mid-attack, their attention focused on the strange and beautiful blue glow that shone upon them and chased away the cold that bit into their flanks. The ice and snow rapidly melted away under the glare of the blue star and the ponies wept tears of joy as they were freed. The windigos suffered far worse though and screamed in outrage and pain as they darted away from the blue light, retreating into the darkness just beyond its reach. Many failed to make it and fizzled away like the end of a candle wick.

“NOW, I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE QUITE COMMITTED TO THIS LITTLE WAR BUT I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A SUGGESTION!” The booming voiced reached every ear and forced away any desire to fight. “IT SEEMS TO ME THAT, PERHAPS, YOU MIGHT TURN ALL THAT NEGATIVE EMOTION TO, WELL, A BETTER SOURCE. SAY THE PARASITIC ICE PHANTOMS THAT ARE TRYING TO FREEZE YOU TO DEATH?”

The ponies shook their wet bodies, flinging droplets of cold water about. As they freed themselves from their icy prisons they at last noticed the swirling spectral windigos that hung about the edges of the great blue circle of light the glowing star was casting down. All of them let out cries of fear and outrage, backing away from the vicious ice wraiths that looked upon them with hungry eyes.

“YES, THEM. WINDIGOS. RATHER NASTY PIECES OF WORK. THEY HAVE BEEN WORKING THEIR MAGIC UPON ALL OF YOU, FORCING YOU TO FEEL HATRED AND GREED THAT YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER FELT OTHERWISE. THEY ARE THE ONES TO BLAME FOR PAINS YOU HAVE SUFFERED. IT IS THEIR MACHINATIONS THAT HAVE LED YOU TO EACH OTHERS’ THROATS!”

The three tribes glanced at each other and awkwardly separated, looking away from their opponents, shame filling them. They continued to back away until one earth pony let out a yelp, his tail leaving the blue warm circle of light and instantly freezing when a windigo attempted to drag him into the darkness. The three tribes instantly rushed back towards the center, intermingling as they jostled each other, wanting to keep as far away from the cold spirits as they could.

“SO I SUPPOSE YOU ALL HAVE A CHOICE. YOU CAN CONTINUE THIS SILLY LITTLE WAR OF YOURS, KNOWING THAT THE PRIZE FOR VICTORY IS A SLOW, PAINFUL, DRAINING DEATH AT THE HOOVES OF THESE BEASTS. OR YOU CAN DO THE SMART THING AND REALIZE THAT YOU DO HAVE AN ENEMY… AND IT IS NOT YOUR FELLOW PONIES. THE CHOICE IS YOURS REALLY.”

Sunstream looked about at the three armies and instantly read the hidden signs and secret thoughts that ran through their minds. She might have been many things but the orange mare was no fool; she knew when the winds of change blew and she would let them guide her, if only to save her own flank.

“The great blue star is right!” Sunstream shouted. “These windigos have driven us apart! Are we not ponies? It does not matter if we have wings or horns or great strength of limbs! What matters is that we are ponies… brothers and sisters!” She whipped around, her horn glowing brightly as she glared at the swirling windigos. “Will we stand here and let them use us like this!?”

“NO!” all three tribes roared.

“Drive them back!” Sunstream shouted. “Drive them into the darkness! Drive them off so that they never return again! Fight! FIGHT!”

The tribes began to work together, unicorns lighting torches with brilliant pink flames that seemed to fight back even the worst arctic chill. These were taken up by pegasi who rushed them towards the edge of the circle, enlarging the barrier of heat and light. Any windigo that attempted to get close and snatch up a slower pegasus found themselves at the mercy of the earth ponies, who smashed their iron shoes against the rock and stone, shooting off sparks that burned the snowy beasts and sent them crying back into the darkness to roast all alone.

All sense of supremacy and tribe loyalty faded away as the ponies worked together throughout the night, pushing the windigos away from the center of the circle, which became an impromptu launching pad and recovery camp, where those too hurt to go on received the care they needed to return to the front line. Even when the blue star faded and the voice grew quiet the three tribes felt no fear, for they were now driven to survive and the fires of loyalty and unity burned through that dark cold night. Sunstream grimly stood next to a massive earth pony stallion, her hexes occasionally going a bit wide when she snuck a peek at his flank. The most venomous of ponies, the ones labeled war-hawks who had preached the death of the other tribes now happily fought with their new allies, ignoring their true feelings for a time as they battled against the common enemy of all.

None of them noticed that Smart Cookie and Pansy had disappeared from the battlefield at the same time the blue light faded away, leaving the ponies, who now had the upper hoof, to finish off the windigos and welcome in the new day.

~DH~DH~DH~

“Well, that went rather well!” The Doctor said, dropping the microphone he was using. “Well done, everypony!”

Clover slumped to the floor, rubbing her aching horn. Starswirl the Bearded managed to make it to a chair, accepting a cup of coco from Derpy. Dinky ran over to the bewildered Smart Cookie and Pansy and happily welcomed them to her home and asked if they had a drink order or if she could take their coats. When she saw they had no coats Dinky gave them some, only to take them back and give them warm blankets.

“What… what is going on?” Smart Cookie asked, glancing about, puzzled. “The last thing I remember…” She looked over at Pansy and let out a gagging cry. “Oh… oh, I am so sorry about what I said! I… I didn’t mean…”

“Me neither,” Pansy said, hot tears still dripping from her eyes.

“None of us did,” Clover said weakly. “None of us did.”

The Derpy forced the mares to take a seat, handing them each a cup of coco and some warm muffins. “The coco warms the body and the muffins will warm the heart. I think you need warming for both.” She gave them each a smile and a hug. “And that’s because you need a hug.”

Dinky ran up and hugged them as well. “You looked like you needed a refill!”

The Doctor then proceeded to inform the confused and tearful mares what had happened to them in the caves and what they had done to stop the war and drive the windigos away.

“The blue light was to hide our spellwork,” Starswirl told them. “We had the TARDIS overload its running lights to be blinding so that none on the ground would notice Clover and I firing off some Fires of Friendship spells to melt the ice and reduce the windigos to vapor. We also enchanted the torches the unicorns were making so that they would be able to do the same thing once we were gone.”

“Do you think the tribes will be able to hold back the windigos?” Pansy asked softly, looking down at her half-empty mug.

“Of course they will!” The Doctor exclaimed. “Wouldn’t have been much of a rescue if we left them and they fell, would it? I worked out all the details, have everything under control.”

Dinky happily bounced up and down. “Now you can go make Hearth’s Warming Day and I can get presents!”

Smart Cookie sighed. “I… I just don’t know.” Looking up the mare slumped her shoulders. “I mean… it just sounds impossible!”

“What sounds impossible?” Derpy asked. “Oh, is it a chocolate chocolate chocolate chip muffin? Because I figured that out… the trick is to use frosting!”

“No,” Clover said, looking at her mentor sadly. “Starswirl, I know you have high hopes for me but I can’t do this. We weren’t able to protect the Princess and Chancellor and Commander, we weren’t able to fight off the windigos, and we weren’t able to help our tribes.”

Pansy nodded, her wings hanging limply at her sides. “How are we supposed to convince everypony that we can live in peace with one another?”

“But they all fought together down there,” Dinky exclaimed.

“Yes, little miss,” Smart Cookie said, “but what will happen when there ain’t a windigo for them to vent their anger on? What’s to stop them from turning on each other again?”

“You three,” Starswirl said sternly. “I know you feel like you failed but you did not. No pony could have fought against what the windigos put you through on their own… that is the point. If we as a species are to survive we must unite.”

“Yes, you are young,” the Doctor said, “and ponies tend not to listen to you. But that doesn’t mean you stop talking! You keep shouting, from every rooftop and every balcony until somepony listens to you… and then you get them to shout as well. You two then get another pony to shout and then another… until you aren’t a lone pony screaming at the world, but one voice in many speaking true.” He looked at each and smiled. “I know you doubt yourselves but let me tell you something: there is greatness in each and every one of you.”

Clover sighed, her eyes sliding shut. “I… I wish I could believe that I just… I just don’t know.”

“Doctor,” Derpy said softly, “I think they need to see some proof.”

“Well,” the Time Lord said, “it is risky but we could show them a history book-“

“Actually,” the gray mare said happily, “I have a better idea.”

~DH~DH~DH~

The fire of friendship lives in our hearts
As long as it burns we cannot drift apart
Though quarrels arise, their numbers are few
Laughter and singing will see us through (will see us through)
We are a circle of pony friends
A circle of friends we'll be to the very end!

The crowd erupted in applause as the carol came to an end and Dinky, Rumble and Pip all smiled, resisting the urge to wave to their parents as they basked in the cheering crowd’s clapping. Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, hiding behind cardboard painted to look like ice crystals, flashed the three wide grins and nods of encouragement. Even Diamond Tiara, who was still mad that she was a rock, couldn’t help but smile; she’d always loved that carol.

“And so the three friends shared the magic of friendship with the tribes,” Miss Cheerilee said, motioning for Featherweight and Ruby Punch to come out with the flag. “And from that day forth…”

“Do you see now?” the Doctor whispered from his seat in the far back of the auditorium. He couldn’t help but wonder what the citizens of Ponyville would think if they realized just WHO was watching this performance.

Clover’s eyes shimmered with tears. “This… this is how you see us?” She looked at the Doctor and Derpy, a watery smile forming on her lips. “This is how we are remembered?”

“Yes, yes it is, my dear,” Starswirl said. He too was caught up in the emotion of the moment and sucked back happy tears.

“Can this be real?” Smart Cookie whispered as she watched the Cutie Mark Crusaders step out to join in an encore of the Fires of Friendship Carol, their little forelegs slung around each other as they joined Dinky, Rumble, Pip and the rest of the cast in leading the audience in song.

“It’s like a dream,” Pansy said gently, looking about at all the families gathered together, singing in unity and friendship.

“I assure you, it is no dream,” the Doctor said. Derpy had floated up and was now happily waving her forelegs about as she joined with the rest of the audience. “I won’t lie to you and say it will be easy. There will be struggles and fights. There will be times when you look upon your fellow ponies and wonder if they are worth it. You will see the worst in them and believe that your struggle is one that will never end. You will see them be petty and cruel and foolish and greedy. And I hate to admit it but it will never end. It will continue on, even after you are long gone. That is life, my friends, and the only way to avoid that is to be freeze, to remain the same and never move on.

“But in your dark moments, think back to this day. Remember what you heard here… remember the music and the joy and know that this is what you fight for; this is what you live for. Look about you... these your your descendants! The children of those that gave so much in the name of the impossible dream. Do you hear them singing? This is your legacy… this is what you are working towards. You are merely the first step, dear mares, just as we all are another towards the goals of peace and unity and friendship.”

Clover couldn’t help but wave at Dinky, the little filly giggling as she blew a kiss to all of them, giving up all pretense of being Clover. “Doctor?”

“Yes?” the Time Lord said.

“I think we are ready to go back now.”

"Very good, I'll-"

“In a moment,” Starswirl said with a slight smile, motioning for the Doctor to sit. “I want to see the end.”

“What end?” the Doctor said, confused. “That is it. The song is sung and the play is over.”

Starswirl smirked. “Well, I think I might be suggestion a new ending when we get back.” He shared a wink with Clover, Pansy and Smart Cookie, the mares nodding in agreement.

“Ending, what-“

The Time Lord’s eyes widened as a familiar grinding, whirring sound filled the area. He looked about and realized that only Derpy was surprised by the sound; Dinky was flashing Starswirl a sly smile while the rest of the audience had merely gone quiet, their eyes going upward to the top of the stage… where a cardboard blue star, shaped like a familiar blue box, descended.

“What is that?” Rumble said, loud enough to make it clear to the Time Lord that this was part of the play.

“A blue star!” Pip exclaimed. “I’ve never seen a blue star before. What does it mean?”

“A good sign,” Dinky said with a smile. “A good omen.” She stepped forward and cleared her throat. Her little voice rang through the quiet auditorium as she sang. "Rest now... my warrior. Rest now, your hardship is over."

Derpy lowered back into her seat, body trembling as everyone, in one clear voice, began to sing. "Live. Wake up. Wake up. And let the cloak... of life... cling to your bones- cling to your bones."

The Doctor glanced over at Starswirl with tear-filled eyes of his own. The mage merely smiled, watching as Dinky led the ponies of Ponyville in song. “You’re right, Doctor… everypony needs something to remember… a memory to keep them going.”

"Wake up. Wake up. And let the cloak... of life... cling to your bones- cling to your bones...."

~DH~DH~DH~

“…and let the fires of our friendship…” Clover paused. “Uh… line?”

Dinky quickly looked through her script. “Ugh, I always forget this part!”

“Don’t worry… doesn’t really matter at this point,” the Doctor admitted. He glanced over at the other end of the cave, where the frozen forms of Chancellor Puddinghead, Commander Hurricane, and Princess Platinum stood. Already the magical pink fire, the Fires of Friendship, were burning brightly and causing the icy shells to melt away. Starswirl had left them to go see to the tribes, promising Clover that he would do his best to prepare them for the six ponies’ arrival. “What is important is the message, not the words.”

“Are you sure they are going to be ok?” Smart Cookie asked. “They were in there for a while…”

“The windigos couldn’t have fed on them much, what with them bouncing around your skulls. At worst they will have a cold.”

“Make them some soup!” Derpy suggested.

Pansy walked over to the Doctor, shuffling back and forth awkwardly. “Will we ever see you again?”

“Well, never is a horrible word, especially for a stallion in my line of work. I can’t promise anything, of course… but yes, I think we will.”

Derpy nudged the Doctor towards the TARDIS, Dinky already running up to them with her script, which now bore the Founders’ signatures. “We should go, Doctor…”

“Oh, I don’t know, Derpy,” the Doctor said, stepping toward Princess Platinum, who looked to be the first to free herself. “We’ve been able to meet all the players in this play except these three… why not stick around a bit and say hello.” Princess Platinum shook her mane, sending droplets flying all over. The Doctor bowed low and, in a humble voice said, “Your Highness, I am-“

“The Doctor,” the Princess said.

“Oh!” the Time Lord said with a grin. “Do you know me?”

“Oh yes… I know you well… my nemesis.”

“What?” the Doctor said in surprise.

“I remember what you promised me… what you took from me you ruffian! Clover, bring me that thief’s head!”

“What?”

“MOVE HOOVES!” Dinky shouted, Derpy and the Doctor quickly following her into the TARDIS. Princess Platinum screamed as she banged against the box’s door, even as it faded away.

“Well… maybe it would be best if they stayed away for a while…” Clover muttered, the other girls giggling in amusement.

The End

The Hooves Family will return in 'Let's Kill King Sombra', out 2014

Author's Note

Thanks to Crow for being my test reader!

Part 1

“See this real, non-visible line?” Scootaloo said sternly, glaring at her friends. She jabbed her hoof at the ground. “No unicorns or earth ponies are allowed to cross it!” She whipped around and jabbed a hoof at Rumble, who was dragging his hoof along the wooden floor. “What are you doing? Don’t go around the rock!”

“I don’t think so!” Sweetie Belle declared, sticking her nose up in the air. “That rock clearly belongs to us!” She leaned towards Dinky, whispering rather loudly, “who knows, there might be jewels inside.”

“I claim this rock!” Scootaloo shouted, moving to snatch the gray lump, only to have it yanked away.

“Oh look, ya found my rock!” Applebloom said happily, motioning for Pip to collect the rock from her. “I’ve been lookin’ for it everywhere!”

“Give it back!” Sweetie Belle shouted.

“It’s mine!” Scootaloo roared, leaping at Applebloom.

“My rock!”

“Mine!”

“They are doing it wrong!”

“Cut!”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders blinked from the tangled mess of forelegs and tails they’d become wrapped in, all signs of anger leaving them instantly. Sweetie Belle wiggled her nose, trying to get the plastic crown she was wearing back in place, while Scootaloo shifted, fearing that Applebloom would wreck the wicked cool costume armor she was wearing.

“What is it, Diamond Tiara?” Miss Cheerilee said with a weary sigh, trotting up onto the stage.

“They are doing it all wrong!” the little earth filly complained. “They aren’t doing the voices right, they keep flubbing their lines, and none of them have the grace and dignity needed to portray one of the founders!”

“Said the rock,” Scootaloo whispered, her friends doing their best to muffle their giggles.

Diamond Tiara shot them a foul glare, though it was weakened in power due to her costume: a big, lumpy wad of cloth and stuffing painted gray. “They aren’t taking this seriously! I should be Princess Platinum, not Sweetie Belle! She should be the rock or the tree!” Under her breath she muttered, “Or the windigos, since they cause so much destruction…”

“Now now,” Miss Cheerilee said, forcing a smile on her face. “Remember the old saying: there are no small parts, only small actors.”

“But we’re all small,” Dinky called out, lowering her hood. “Unless we aren’t… are one of you a giant and didn’t tell me?” She looked accusingly at the other fillies and colts, waiting for them to reveal their true gigantic size.

“Diamond Tiara, we have already discussed this several times. Each year we take turns playing the different roles in the Hearth’s Warming play. Last year you were Princess Platinum…” under her breath she muttered, “even though you shouldn’t have been since you aren’t a unicorn…” a bit louder Miss Cheerilee said, “and this year its Sweetie Belle’s turn.”

Diamond Tiara sniffed in annoyance. “Taking turns… that’s something that was created to let inferior ponies have a chance to feel special.”

“Who are ya callin’ inferior?!” Applebloom snapped.

“You, Applebloom,” Sweetie Belle said helpfully. “She’s calling you inferior.”

“Thanks Sweetie,” Applebloom said, rolling her eyes.

Miss Cheerilee forced herself to exude more cheerfulness. “Well, I think we are almost ready for the play this Friday, so why don’t you all head home and rest up!”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo said with a smirk as she pulled off her helmet, “you’ll need to really focus on being the best rock ever.”

“You… you…” Diamond Tiara sputtered. She took a calming breath and gazed at the other fillies and colts, a wicked little gleam glowing in her eyes. She waited till Miss Cheerilee was out of earshot before hissing, “Perhaps I should talk to my father about making a donation to the school… a few thousand will be enough to get us a new stage… and of course Miss Cheerilee will be so excited that she will give me the part I deserve and force you pathetic little fillies to be the rocks!”

Dinky blinked. “A few thousand what?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re going to bribe her with a few thousand what?” Dinky grinned. “Is it muffins?”

“No, it’s not-“

“And why would you need to bribe her?” Dinky asked in confusion, walking towards the left-hand stage door. “I thought you said you were the bestest best for the role… if that were the case shouldn’t Miss Cheerilee just give you the part? You’d only have to bribe her if you weren’t the best.”

Diamond blinked, her lips stuck up and her brow furrowed as she tried to follow Dinky’s logic. Deciding that she had been insulted she rushed over and blocked Dinky’s way, placing her little body in front of Dinky and the exit. “You think you are clever, aren’t you?”

“Yup! Thanks for asking.”

“I… you…” Finding herself once more outsmarted Diamond Tiara did what all bullies do: try and ruin their target’s self esteem. “They just pity you, you know that?” Diamond Tiara ripped her rock costume off and threw it at Silver Spoon, who was struggling to get out of her tree costume. “You poor, stupid little thing! You think everypony likes you because you put on that ‘I’m so cute’ routine but they just pity you! Everypony knows you are just pathetic stupid thing, with your sad little blue box for a home and your weird lazy-eyed mom and your weird-“

WHAM!

“Dinky!” The Doctor said happily, his hoof still resting on the door he’d slammed open… the door that now had Diamond Tiara plastered to it. “Ready to go?”

“Yup yup!” the happy filly said. “Bye Diamond Tiara!”

The Doctor tilted his head, studying the rich filly who was currently trying to get her bearings after being struck by rapidly opening door. “Hee… hehehe.” The Doctor struggled to control himself. “Sorry, sorry… don’t mean to laugh… every time I see you I remember what I saw 10 years from now.” He shook his head and smiled. “My goodness, you get faaaaaaat.”

“Doctor,” Dinky said, shaking her head. “Spoilers.”

“Right right,” he said, bending down and letting Dinky scramble onto his back. “Plenty of time for her to discover a love for hot fudge on her own. Let’s get going. Allons-y!”

“Diamond, are you ok?” Silver Spoon asked, poking her friend who was looking up at the rafters with a dazed look on her face.

“I… I like hot fudge,” Diamond Tiara mumbled.

~DH~DH~DH~

Most ponies in Ponyville looked at the Hooves family and thought them to be rather strange. Oh, Ponyville wasn’t normal by any standard to be sure; one merely had to look at its citizens to realize that. Fashionistas, alicorn princesses, ground-dwelling pegasi, hand-obsessed lyre players, magic-apple sellers… and that was just the tip of the iceberg. But even by Ponyville standards the Hooves family was a weird one.

Take the matriarch of the family, though she hated to be called that because it sounded old and frumpy. Derpy had seemingly just popped up one day, with knowledge about them all that she should not have had while also being bewildered and delighted by the most common of things. Even Pinkie Pie had been weirded out when the pegasus had spent 20 minutes breathing on the display case glass at Sugarcube Corner and writing her name over and over again. Still, while odd, Derpy never seemed that much of a danger… except when she allowed her mind to wander. The mare had a huge imagination and could easily get lost in her own daydreams, which more often than not led to accidents and general destruction. Jobs at a moving company and on the weather team had failed spectacularly but, in the end, the citizens of Ponyville had done what they always did when somepony seemed strange and different and a general bother: band together and find them a place where they belonged.

For Derpy that was the mail route. Being able to fly all over, visiting ponies each day and daydreaming about what strange and wonderful items were tucked away in the many brown boxes she delivered seemed to let her be herself without causing any true damage. Yes, she occasionally delivered the wrong letter but she was quick to fix any mistake, many times before a pony realized what had happened.

The rest of the family was the same way. Dinky appeared to be all at once a child prodigy and a befuddled youngster that went off on weird tangents. The Doctor, who didn’t have a name and whose own wife and daughter referred to him by his title, was a self-described mad-stallion who was forever shining his weird little flashlight about. The family would disappear for days at a time, only to arrive back in Ponyville no worse for wear. And the less said about the strange folk that came and visited them, the better.

The other reason ponies thought them strange was their choice of homes. While Ponyville was known for strange house designs, the idea of three ponies crammed into a little blue box with the words “POLICE” stamped on the top was just odd. Many had offered to let the family stay at their homes, thinking the Hooves were poor off, but they’d all just laugh and claim that the box was more than big enough for them. Of course, there were a few that did know the truth… but they weren’t going to spread the truth.

“Doctor, Dinky?” Derpy called out, slipping her cap and mailbag off and wandering through the TARDIS’ console room. “Hello?”

“In here!” the Doctor called out to her left and, after a moment, the Time Lord emerged from his study, his sonic screwdriver tucked in his mane like a hairpick. “Good day at work?”

“No lawsuits,” Derpy said with a smile, trotting over to the alien pony and giving him a kiss. “You?”

“Not much. Had to ditch my stalker again but it wasn’t that much of a problem.” The time lord shook his head. “She is bound and determined though to steal me away from you.”

“What’s her name again? Singy Brook?”

“Something like that… there was water involved, that’s all I know. Mane poofier than Pinkie Pie’s, if one can believe it.” The Doctor clapped his hooves together and grinned. “Now then, what to do for supper? Hmmm," the Doctor said, tapping his chin. "I want something filling... with a bit of spice. Tigasian noodles… maybe from the 3rd dynasty?" Derpy made a face and the Doctor sighed. "Yes yes... I forgot about you aversion to eating anything made from an animal. I do say, though, you should really consider expanding your horizons; Griffland crisp bacon, for example, is just to die for."

"Die, Doctor, die," Derpy reminded him. “Key word there.”

The Time Lord sighed. "Right right... ok, how about authentic Iponiano pizza! We could stop off in 500 AD, just when they were really getting a knack for it and worked out the kinks. Funny word that, kinks. Fun to say but strange to look at. You begin to stare at it too long and it just begins to look weird, like you’ve jumbled the letters up. Kink kink kink-"

"What about Little Celestia's?" Derpy asked with a grin.

The Doctor paused, staring blankly at the wall before him. He turned ever so slowly, giving Derpy plenty of time to retract her statement. "Derpy... the TARDIS can take us any place and any time... to planets you’ve only dreamed of and places you never thought existed… and you want to get generic fast food?"

"But it’s only 5 bits... 6 and a half if we get Luna Bread!" Derpy bounced up and down happily. "Me likey bread sticks. Me likey bread sticks."

Before the Doctor could comment on Derpy's deplorable lack of taste Dinky trotted into the room, her face screwed up in concentration as she mumbled to herself. "The fire of our friendship... the FIRE of our friendship... the fire of our FRIENDship... the fire…of our…friend-ship...nargles!"

"Language," Derpy scolded, though she did smile as she walked over to her daughter and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sorry mama," Dinky said, scuffing her hoof against the TARDIS' floor.

"Good girl. Now, what has you cursing like a capricorn?"

Dinky plopped down, blowing a strand of hair from in front of her face. "I'm trying to get ready for the play but I keep feeling like I'm not doing the character of Clover justice!"

"This isn't about what that little future-chubby said, is it?" the Doctor asked, checking the wiggly lever to make sure it was wiggly enough.

Dinky shook her head; after seeing how Diamond Tiara's teenage years would go down, it was hard to take her seriously. She only wished she could let Scootaloo, Applebloom, and Sweetie Belle know that things would get SO much better soon enough. "No, not her. I've been worried about this since Miss Cheerilee gave me the part. Clover the Clever is one of the most importantest unicorn ever! I want to make sure I am playing her right but I don't know how to play her!"

“What does Miss Cheerilee say?” Derpy asked.

Dinky rolled her eyes. “She said listen to your heart but I have two of them so I don’t know which one to listen to!”

"We could rent a few of those recording crystals that are all the rage and let you watch some famous actresses play the part," the Doctor suggested.

Dinky frowned. "No, that's no good. That's just me copying them... I want to play Clover the Clever, not play Award Bait playing Clover."

"It was so sad when she let her life spiral down," the Doctor said as he inspected some wires. "I heard she legally changed her name to Jail Bait."

Derpy wrapped her wing around her daughter. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but there are no recordings of the real Clover, so we don't know what she sounded like or acted like."

Dinky pouted for a moment before instantly brightening. "That's it!"

"What's it?" the Doctor asked.

"We can go back in time!" Dinky exclaimed happily. "We could go back and actually watch the first Hearth's Warming! Then I can perform it exactly as she did it!" She raced over to the TARDIS' controls, only for the Doctor to quickly catch her and spin her away.

"Dinky, what has your mother told you about playing with the TARDIS?" the Doctor asked.

"Only do it when the Doctor has goofed something up and we have to rescue him," Dinky said with a sad sigh.

"That's... wait, what?" The Doctor looked at the two blonde mares before shaking his head. "Never mind, doesn't matter. Dinky, the TARDIS isn't a toy! We can't just go leaping off to another time and place whenever we want to; that's final." Nodding to himself, the Doctor trotted out of the room.

"I'm sorry, muffin," Derpy said, nudging her daughter away from the controls. "Maybe we can-"

"What am I saying?" the Doctor laughed, rushing back into the control room. "We use the TARDIS as a toy to go leaping off to other times and places twice a week!" The Time Lord rolled his eyes in good humor. "Silly me. First Hearth's Warming, here we come!"

"Wait!" Derpy called out, rushing towards her mail bag and pulling out a purse full of bits. "Since they won't have any restaurants there I'll go grab some dinner! We can eat on the way!"

"Fantastic!" the Doctor proclaimed. Derpy was barely out the door before the Doctor looked up, realizing what was about to happen. He ran to the exit and threw it open, shouting at the retreating pegasus, "NOT LITTLE CELESTIA'S!" He glanced over at Dinky and sighed. "She's going to get Little Celestia's, isn't she."

"Yup!" Dinky said happily. "Me likey bread sticks!"

"...nargles."

~DH~DH~DH~

Equestria- 15 BC

"Urp!"

"Doctor," Derpy scolded, "cover your mouth."

"I wouldn't be emitting gasses if you had gotten real pizza instead of that processed... never mind." The Doctor guided his family over to a set of crystals, examining them for a moment before nodding to himself. The TARDIS had landed in the very cave where the Leaders had fought and become trapped by the windegos... and where Clover, Smart Cookie and Private Pansy had discovered the fires of friendship. They were perched on a rocky outcropping above the main chamber of the cave, surrounded by crystals. "Alright," the Doctor said, fumbling with his sonic screwdriver before getting it into the correct position. He pointed it at the crystal and smirked when the surface began to clear till it was just like window glass. "This crystal is like a one-way mirror. We can see the Founders but they can't see us." He shot the two a look. "But we must stay quiet."

Derpy nodded, zipping her lips shut. She then paused, unzipped them, and grabbing a piece of pizza from the box sitting next to her, happily chewing on it. Dinky, meanwhile, pulled out her notebook, ready to begin jotting down her findings on Clover.

"Wow... I never imagined them looking like that," Dinky whispered.

The Doctor nodded. "Yes, seems history took some liberties." Princess Platinum, for example, was hardly decked out in jewels and gemstones like most of the paintings would have one believe. Yes, her clothing was fancier that Puddinghead's or Hurricane's, but any pony that wore them to the Grand Galloping Gala would be laughed out of the castle. Hurricane's armor wasn't the flashy steel one would expect; instead he, yes he, wore cloth armor with bits of metal attached. Not the grand warrior image the white statues in Cloudsdale would have one believe. The Chancellor didn't act as bubbly as many portrayed her and her clothing was actually rather plain and muted. She certainly didn’t have a hat that looked like a pudding cup. The same was true for their aides, who wore similar outfits as their leaders.

As for Clover...

"Does any other pony think she looks exactly like Princess Twilight?" Derpy asked.

"Almost eerily so," the Doctor stated.

"Why is that?" Dinky asked. "Do you think it is some sort of strange magic? History repeating itself? Is Twilight the reincarnation of Clover?"

The Doctor waved her off. "Well, there are only so many faces our genes can create... I'm sure there are bound to be some duplicates every once and a while."

"Like that pegasus pony that looks like you?" Derpy asked.

"Don't remind me," the Doctor grumbled.

"Shhhh!" Dinky hissed. "It's happening!" The Hooves family watched as the Founders were frozen, the howls of the windigos filling their ears. Derpy shifted, gathering Dinky in her arms, while the Doctor looked up, keeping an eye on the icy spirits lest they decide to attack his family. Dinky, however, showed no sign of fear, so focused was she on what was happening below. "This is it!" Dinky whispered in glee as the windigos faded from sight, their howls becoming little more than whispers. "Now those three will begin to freeze and discover friendship!"

"...Chancellor?" Smart Cookie called out, tapping the icy shell that covered Puddinghead. She turned towards Clover, staring at the unicorn. "You... you dirty horn-headed witch!"

"What?" the Doctor said in surprise.

"Release my Chancellor or I will buck you into next week!" Smart Cookie shouted.

"Me? It is pegasus weather magic that has captured my Princess, you filthy mule!" Clover whipped around, her horn glowing as she stomped towards Pansy, a snarl on her lips. "You DARE attack one of your betters?"

"Oh, did I?" Pansy said sarcastically. "I didn't see me attack any pegasi."

"Release her!" Smart Cookie roared, stomping her hoof.

"Release her yourself!" Pansy shot back. "You earth and unicorn ponies are trying to unite against the mighty Pegasus Nation? Ha!"

"The Kingdom of Unicorns would never sully itself with those dirt eaters!"

"That's cuss you're too busy buggering your cousins to realize you’re so inbred you can't do a lick of magic!" Smart Cookie snapped, kicking a rock at Clover who barely dodged the projectile.

"I have SO been playing Clover wrong," Dinky whispered, scribbling down some notes.

"What?" the Doctor repeated.

"I will not stand for this!" Pansy declared, donning Hurricane's abandoned helmet. "I, Commander Pansy, new leader of the Pegasus Nation, declare blood war upon the Earth and Unicorn tribes!"

"Well, we do the same!" Smart Cookie said.

"As do we!" Clover shouted. "When we are done with you all pegasi will have their wings clipped and earth ponies will be in chains! Exactly as you should be!"

"Not before we cut off your horns and shove it up your rear! With the stick you’ll already have in there it should have plenty of company!" Smart Cookie challenged, backing away from the other advisors. The three ponies all glared at each other for several moments before making their escapes, wanting to return to their tribes. War was coming and each of them wanted the advantage of being ready first.

"This... this isn't right, is it?" Derpy asked. "I mean, I think I'd remember this in one of the plays."

"WHAT?!?!" the Doctor exclaimed for a third time.

~DH~DH~DH~

David Tennant

Hynden Walch

and Claire Corlett

THE HOOVES FAMILY ADVENTURES

Hearth's Warming Special

The Winds of Winter