This Isn't a Sad Letter

by not plu

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad
Length: 937

It's been a while since Applejack's written to the Princess.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while. I guess I don’t exactly learn anything Princess-worthy every day. I don’t really think the others do either -write letters that is- but I haven’t exactly talked to them in a while. You can understand why.
I... don’t want this to be a sad letter. I don’t think you need any more sadness in your life, and I’m good too. So this is just a normal letter.

Published 2013-12-13 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-13 01:10:01 UTC

Dear Princess Celestia

Dear Princess Celestia,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while. I guess I don’t exactly learn anything Princess-worthy every day. I don’t really think the others do either -write letters that is- but I haven’t exactly talked to them in a while. You can understand why.

I... don’t want this to be a sad letter. I don’t think you need any more sadness in your life, and I’m good too. So this is just a normal letter. I was actually reading some of my old ones a little while ago- when I was cleaning out the attic, and my favorite one is still what I wrote to you after those stupid Cider-making phonies came to town. Gosh, I sure was feisty back then, wasn't I? Reading that reminded me what it felt like to be young again. How amazing that was. To walk down the street and know everypony. To fight over trivial, stupid things with Dash. I really miss that. Sure, we had our grand adventures and learned lots along the way. But somehow fighting those monsters feels easier than everyday life sometimes.

Applebloom got her cutie mark yesterday. I guess that’s why I’m writing you. I thought you’d want to know that. You liked her, right? I can’t even remember, funny. Well, you’d definitely like her now, anyway. Everypony does. She’s so kind and is always looking for anypony to help. And she’s so pretty. Any new pony coming into Ponyville would think she'd come straight out of Manehattan. She’s a lot like her mother. Our mother. I‘ll have her write you the whole story about it. The little blossom made me promise not to tell you, and I can’t exactly break a Pinkie promise.

Winter’s come a bit early here. Actually, that’s a bit of an understatement. We completely skipped fall! I guess the weather ponies weren’t on top of their game. They haven’t really been since Rainbow left. Anyway, there were still apples on the trees when the blizzard came. Well, it wouldn’t be the Apple family way to let all those apples wither up all sad on the trees, so we had to pick them all before the snow got too bad. We were running around like madponies picking the apples and getting them inside. And of course, Granny Smith immediately wanted to make a pie, so Applebloom and her got to work, but I just sat at the window and stared at the snow and breathed in the cinnamon.

I’ve been... remembering a lot lately. There’s a word for that, isn’t there? Twilight would know. How’s she been doing, up there in Canterlot?

Actually, I don’t want to know.

I’ve been trying to forget, I really have. Like you said I should. Everypony else did, but it’s hard. It’s hard, Princess. It’s hard when falling leaves remind you of races and storms remind you of sleepovers and pie reminds you of... well, her. And it was easier, like you said it’d be. But then I started remembering. I can’t even control it, like flashbacks or something. Before I met everypony on that fateful night, I had no idea how hard it must’ve been for you for all those years. I didn’t really get it until recently, really. It’s hard. I can’t think of any other words for it.

I’m also writing you because I have nopony else. Everyone else is gone. Nopony understands how hard it is, except for you. I thought you’d understand. Even with all my family around and plenty of work, it’s still lonely. I can’t exactly forget the best years of my life. Not on my own at least. And that’s why I need your help. You see, I’ve been dancing around the issue, but-

No. I don’t want this to be a sad letter. But it’s hard to write a happy letter when everything seems exactly the opposite. I'm sorry.

Last night, after we were finished celebrating Applebloom's cutie mark, I went upstairs to go to bed as usual. It was especially cold, so I decided to get an extra

Buck it, enough complaining. I’ll finish what I started saying up there. I'll just cut straight to the point.

Applebloom had to do a project on magic for school a little while ago. She chose to focus on new spells and such, and she gave her presentation to me as a test. It was a very interesting project, but one thing that stood out to me was a new memory spell that’s just been stabilized. Apparently only very powerful unicorns can perform it, and... you see where I’m going with this.

I really hate that it has to end up like this. I thought I’d be okay. That I’d be able to forget. I was wrong. Every single day is a struggle to get through without an emotional breakdown. And I know that I’ll miss all the good times, but right now, it’s mostly pain that comes with those memories. The bad ones and the good ones. I admit that I’m not sure if you’ll agree to this, but you have to understand that I don’t have any other options. I’m all alone.

So I’m pleading, for me and my family and the others, to help me. You're all I have. They won’t care. They all got out, they all forgot. It’s just me. Please, Celestia. For everything I’ve done for Equestria. You owe it to me, sort of. But really, you have to understand, Princess, I need this.

I just wish there was a time spell.

Your faithful student,

Applejack