If you end up sandwiched between your sexy wife and her sexy changeling lover every night, do you buy a bigger bed or your own?

by TheWraithWriter

Chapters

The Lusty Changeling Maid or The Buck?
The Hoof that Rocks the Cradle
Chapter Five: In Which Some Things Are Sorta Explained
I Lied
Clop Hard
Hell Fire
Demands
Coltmando
And You Thought it was Over
First Bonus Scene and End Credits
Bonus Scene Two: Bonus Scene Harder
Bonus Scene Three: With a Vengeance
Beautiful Day (Alternate Ending)
Two’s Company, Three’s a Crowd
Of Tacos and Terrorists
The Sound of Hooves on a Cobblestone Path (Clop)

The Lusty Changeling Maid or The Buck?

Author's Note

And here's an earlier Hearth's Warming Eve present.

It's like Christmas!

Also: It's the WriathWriter Drinking Game!
Every time a character drinks, so do you!

The Lusty Changeling Maid or The Buck?

Crystal Tower Royal Apartment

7:23 AM, Hearth’s Warming Eve

Cadance awoke to a peaceful morning, the sun shining gently on her face. She stirred softly and then yawned, stretching her legs and wings. Finishing her stretch, she paused to softly nuzzle Chrysalis’s still sleeping form. The changeling stirred and mumbled in her sleep but did not wake.

Cadance smiled and carefully slipped out of the bed, not wanting to disturb Chrysalis. She didn’t bother dressing in anything and simply left the bedroom in her fur alone. She might cause a scandal and kill a few ponies via nosebleeds should she leave her house in such a state, but within the protective walls she was free to look as she pleased.

Mi Amore Cadenza

She Ships Dilda

Cadance happily skipped into the kitchen and set about making coffee. It had not escaped her that her husband was not in bed with her that morning, but it was likely he had been called away on guard business during the night and had crashed on the couch upon returning.

Silly Shining, passing out on the couch is for young ponies. Cadance thought with a soft giggle as she heated the coffee on the stove. She could easily have zapped it to boiling hot with magic, but it always seemed to taste better of it was heated over a non-magical flame.

Cadance hummed quietly to herself as she waited for the coffee. “Oh, winter wrap up, winter wrap up. Let’s finish out holiday cheer. Winter wrap up, winter wrap up. Because tomorrow Spring is here, because tomorrow Spring is here.”

Why is that bloody song stuck in my head? Cadance thought as she poured the coffee into two mugs. It’s Hearth’s Warming Eve right now. Barely winter. Although, I could do with winter wrapping up right now. It’s bucking cold outside.

Cadance poured the cream into the coffee and stirred thoroughly. She tapped the small spoon on the rim of each mug and then levitated them with her magic. She took a generous sip from one mug, sighing happily. This new cream one of the servants brought her last week was wonderful. Made her feel perky.

She began making her way to Truth’s room, where the changeling maid no doubt lay passed out after a long night of catching up on her shows.

Cadance giggled to herself. The changeling no doubt thought that no one knew what she did late at night, but not much got past Cadance, especially in her own home.

Speaking of which… Cadance thought with an impish grin. Being the Goddess of Love, Cadance was quite attuned to ponies emotions and she had a way of stirring them up. But she was also able to sense certain chemical reactions that happened inside a pony’s body. She could feel certain energies in the air. She could detect the glow a pony had after certain activities….

In short, Cadance knows when you have sex.

(Nice way to get that out there. I’m sure it will never be relevant again…)

“Something tells me somepony got laid last night.” Cadance sang as she opened the door to Truth’s room.

What she did next only counted as singing at a death metal concert.

********

Chrysalis enjoyed sleeping. There were many things the former changeling queen enjoyed, skipping, singing, fighting things, killing things, teabaging things, burning things, blowing up things such as large structures whilst walking away in slow motion. But, if she had to pick her favorite things, she would say they were sex, feeding on emotions, and sleeping. In that order.

Chrysalis

Sweet Love in a Lovely Feels Cream

However, her sleep was quite suddenly and quite rudely interrupted by the sound of breaking porcelain and a scream worthy of MegaGeth.

(A Mass Effect reference? In my FimFiction.net!?)

Sighing, Chrysalis quickly got out of bed and followed the rapid hyperventilating breaths that followed the scream to their source. Which was Truth’s room, oddly enough.

Brood-Mother only knew what had-

“Oh my.” Chrysalis said as she pushed opened the door and looked upon the scene within.

Cadance stood backed up against a wall, still breathing in rapid gasps, the broken remains of two mugs and their brown liquid contents on the floor in front of her. The alicorn’s gaze was fixed upon Truth’s bed, or rather, its occupants. Truth was there, as was expected as it was her bed. However, it seemed her bedmate was causing quite the stir.

“Shining?” Cadance asked, her voice trembling.

“Cadance?” Shining answered, seemingly puzzled. “What’s wrong?”

“Wha… what-” Cadance gulped hard to try and steady her breathing. “What the buck are you doing in bed with her?”

“Her?” Shining seemed oblivious. He turned and saw Truth. “What? Truth what are you doing here?”

The changeling handmaiden just stared mutely for a few moments before answering in barely a whisper. “This is my bed.”

“Your bed?” Shining tried to make it click in his head, which was muddled and hurting. “But that makes no sense…”

“Shining,” Cadance sounded like she was pleading. “Please tell me the two of you didn’t…” she seemed unable to complete the sentence. “And tell me this is all just a horrible misunderstanding.”

“Well I…” Shining paused and brought a hoof to his chin. “We…” he began again before trailing off. All he could remember from last night was bringing Truth a glass of cider. After that, there was just a big blank. It was almost like a barrier in his mind preventing him from reaching the memories.

“I don’t remember anything.” he said hesitantly after a minute.

“Truth?” Cadance turned her attention to the changeling, sounding just a tad hostile.

“Well, of course we didn’t… you know.” Truth said.

“Are you sure?”

“Well…” Truth trailed off. She couldn’t quite recall the previous night. Shining brought her the cider, they drank and laughed, she went down to the kitchens and…. And what? And why did she smell like ranch dressing and butter cream?

“You can’t remember either?” Cadance sounded angry now. It was her defense mechanism. Whenever she became really stressed, instead of breaking down she got fired up. And it was still a tad broken after the nightmare that was her wedding. “So you two, what? Slipped out back and found some hotel? Got drunk on cheap liquor and shagged each other?”

“Whoa there, Cadance.” Chrysalis said, speaking up for the first time since she entered. “Let’s not jump to conclusions.”

Cadance rounded on Chrysalis. “Zip it!” she hissed.

Chrysalis jumped and nearly peed herself.

Cadance rounded on Shining and Truth. “You really have a soft spot for changelings, eh Shining?” she spat.

“Whoa, I have?”

“You let some hag impersonate me without even resisting and then you go and boink her personal bitch!”

“Hey!” Chrysalis and Truth said in unison.

“How could you do this!?”

“This from the mare that had a love affair with the changeling that trapped her in a cave.” Shining said dryly. “No offence.” he quickly added.

Chrysalis sighed. “None taken.” she turned to Cadance. “Listen dear, you’re over reacting. Besides it’s not what you think.”

“And you!” Cadance rounded on Chrysalis. “You’re the one that brought the little gold digger in the first place!”

Chrysalis glanced at Shining. “I’m sorry, but is this something that happens regularly? Cadance has a complete mental breakdown for no reason?”

“I’m not having a mental breakdown!” Cadance shouted.

“Dear.” Chrysalis put a hoof on Cadance’s shoulders. “Calm. Down.”

Cadance roughly pushed Chrysalis’s hooves off her. “I will not calm down!”

Chrysalis tilted her head and tried to get a reading on Cadance’s emotions, but they seemed to be all jumbled and confused. To her Changeling Vision (Trademark), the princess’s emotions were like a psychedelic light show.

“Cadance, honey…” Shining ventured.

Cadance whirled on him again. “You! You no good lying, cheating, couldn’t see a imposter if she danced naked in front if him, poor excuse for a guard! I want a divorce! Out!”

“My Princess…” Truth dared.

Candace shifted her gaze to her next. “You! You husband stealing, backstabbing, lusty changeling of a maid! You’re fired! Out!”

“Pink Ass!” Chrysalis yelled, trying to get through to Cadance.

“And you!” Cadance as she whirled on Chrysalis. “You! …You! ….” she trailed off and scrunched her face in thought. “Fine, I used all my best ones on them! But you too! Out! All of you get out of my country and stay the hell away from anywhere I might go in the future!”

“You’re a diplomat!” Shining, Truth, and Chrysalis yelled in unison. “Where the buck am I supposed to go!”

Cadance scrunched her muzzle again. “I don’t know!” she shouted after a time. “Just get out of my house!”

And with that she disappeared in a teal flash.

Chrysalis, Shining, and Truth all exchanged glances.

“The buck was that?” Chrysalis asked after a long silence.

Shining opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to puzzle out exactly what had just happened. After a short while, he just shrugged.

And then Truth suddenly began crying.

“Truth, what’s wrong?” Shining cried, which was admittedly all he knew to do when a female started crying.

“She- she was so mean!” Truth blubbered through her sobs. “Wh-why would she say such things? I’m a good maid! I would never do anything bad to her or anypony!”

Shining awkwardly tried to hug Truth, but backed off in light of what had just happened. He desperately looked to Chrysalis.

The former queen sighed and trotted over to her bawling handmaiden. “Truth honey, Cadance didn’t really mean that.” she said softly, wrapping a black foreleg around the smaller changeling.

“But she said I was fired! She fired me!” still crying, Truth jumped out of her bed and out of the (thankfully open) window. Her little wings buzzed to keep her aloft as she descended into the twisting mass of towers below, her shape changing even as she flew.

“Truth wait!” Shining cried, extending a hoof towards the window before letting it drop. He promptly dropped his head into his hooves. “I really fucked up this time.”

Chrysalis, amazingly, scoffed. “Please, you didn’t do a thing.”

“I had sex with the maid! I cheated on my wife!”

Chrysalis scoffed again. “You didn’t have sex with Truth, and even if you did, your wife would be, and is, a hypocrite for calling you cheater.”

Shining brought his head from his hooves. “Point taken, but if I didn’t have sex with Truth, then who did I have sex with? Cadance knows when a pony, or most anything really, has had sex. She wouldn’t accuse me of cheating if she didn’t see the after glow aura.”

Chrysalis scrunched her face. “After glow aura?”

“It’s a…” Shining scrunched his face in thought. “Never mind, it’s too complicated to get into. But how could you possibly know I didn’t have sex with Truth.”

“Easy. You had sex with me.”

“I did!?!”

(Oh shit, he broke out the ‘!?!’!)

Chrysalis nodded. “I woke up last night to have a quick midnight snack and saw you sitting there on the couch, glass in hand. And so, I figured why go out when I can make myself a snack.”

“And we…?”

Chrysalis nodded. “Ooo, it really regret not partaking while I was impersonating your fiancée. Of course you seemed a tad out of it, so I decided to perk you up a bit.”

“Listen, this explaining thing really helps, but I’m very confused. Can we just have a flashback so I can see what happened?”

Oh fine.

**********

(Insert harp strumming and cheap ripple effect here.)

Shining Armor, esteemed former captain of the Royal Canterlot Guard, laid on his back on the couch. His back legs were propped up on the forearm rest while his head was in danger of slipping between two of the cushions. He had a loose grip on the cider glass in his hoof and a goofy expression plastered over his face.

“Oh, miss Governor, we really shouldn’t…” he slurred, giggling drunkenly.

“My, my.” said a salacious voice. “Having a few drinks, Captain?”

“Hey, I’m legal.” he slurred, gesturing in the general direction of the voice.

The voice, which sounded like reeds in the wind, chuckled. “I never accused you of not being.”

“Oh, well then, what can I do ya for?”

“Me? Oh, I think this one is going to be on the house.”

“How’s that?” Shining asked, pushing himself up. It should be noted that he not once commented on being indirectly called a prostitute.

“This is how.” the voice said, changing on the last word to a more familiar voice.

To Shining’s surprise, into his rather hazy field of vision walked a certain lilac unicorn. She was wearing a rather lecherous grin and some silky socks. As Shining watched, mute, a good sized peach was levitated up into the mare’s hooves. She took hold of it and bit down into the fruit’s soft skin and tender flesh, its juices spilling over her chin.

“I have the weirdest boner right now.” Shining said as he-

“WHOA! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Stop the flashback!”

(Insert harp strumming and cheap ripple effect here.)

*******

Chrysalis looked disappointed as the flashback faded. “Aw, and we were just getting to the good part too…”

Shining just stared at the former queen. “Are…” he took a shaky breath. “Are you telling me we… while you looked like my sister?”

Chrysalis smiled. “As much as I would enjoy watching you squirm, no.”

Shining breathed out a breath of relief.

“I did however make myself look like your mother and well… that seemed to get you going.” Chrysalis broke into a fit of giggles.

Shining just stared into space.

Chrysalis got her giggling under control and looked expectantly at the unicorn. “Oh come on, we didn’t actually do that.”

Shining just continued to stare.

“…Shining?” Chrysalis said after a while.

Shining.exe has stopped working. Processing the error.

“Oh dear, not again.”

The Hoof that Rocks the Cradle

Crystal Tower Offices

8:02 AM

Cadance sighed and rubbed her temples.

“More coffee, Princess?” Asked her secretary, Miss Maplewood.

Cadance nodded and baby blue mare left the steaming mug on the desk next to the alicorn. She knew when the princess needed her space and quietly left the office.

“Merry Hearth’s Warming Eve, Princess.”

A few moments after Cadance heard the door to her office close she looked up, gazing at the sparkling crystal doors as if they held some sort of answer. They didn’t. Shining had spent a fortnight combing over every inch of the Tower, hoping to find some sort of treasure within its walls. He hadn’t, but he did have fun searching.

Cadance sighed again and pulled the mug of coffee closer. She stared into its steaming depths, trying to figure things out.

Why had she gone off on Shining, Truth, and Chyssi? There wasn’t too much evidence that anypony had slept with anypony else….

Fine, she had seen the ‘sex aura’. But that didn’t mean that they had sex with each other. And what if they had? Cadance was in no position to yell at anypony over extramarital affairs. Especially since Shining hadn’t gotten mad at her.

Not that she could tell, anyway. When they had gotten home after that fateful day, he had only forced them to make corndogs for him. He had even tucked the baby in bed that night!

Cadance sipped her coffee, feeling very confused and conflicted.

She sometimes wished Shining had gotten mad. She sometimes wished he had yelled. He was quiet a lot. He was friendly to her, to Truth, even to Chrysalis. He also had a special bond with her daughter, Lovebug; even if she wasn’t his own.

Speaking of Lovebug, she still couldn’t believe that Chryssi had thought that was a good name for a filly. And Shining liked it!

Cadance rubbed her temples again. Why did her head hurt? Why were her thoughts so jumbled? Why did her mood swing like a… swing? And why in Tartarus was she caving shellfish?

Wait, am I-

“Princess?” Miss Maplewood said, scaring away Cadance’s thoughts.

“Wha-? Oh, yes, what is it, Miss Maplewood?”

“There is a pony here that says she’s come for the new position on your house staff.”

Cadance frowned in a quizzical fashion. “New position? What new position?”

Maplewood shrugged. “I’m not sure, but she’s insisting.”

Cadance sighed. “Fine, let her in.”

“At once.” Maple wood ducked out the door.

The door sat still for a moment before being pushed open, admitting the mare in question. She was tall, nearly a match for Cadance, and her coat was also pink, although a few shades darker. Her mane and tail were pink as well, but had strips of black running though them. A pair of wings adorned her back. Her cutie mark was a baby’s cradle.

She strode into Cadance’s office as if she owned it and began glancing around like she was measuring it for something. She strides were long and graceful and she swung her hips in a rather playful manner. She caught Cadance’s gaze, striking gold-flecked green meeting Cadance’s blues. Her lip curled in a smirk that was both seductive and threatening.

Cadance was quite surprised rock music hadn’t heralded her entrance. But then again, she had those speakers removed for a reason.

“Hello.” the mare said, her voice smooth and rich. “I am Juno Eclipse. I’m here about the babysitter ad.”

Juno Eclipse

Yeah, She’s a Hooker

It took Cadance a few moments to respond, entranced as she was. “Huh?” Cadance quickly shook her head. “Oh, the babysitting ad, of course. Let me just-” Cadance stopped. “Wait, what ad?”

*******

“Are you kidding me!?” Cadance hissed over the crystal ball.

“We thought it prudent, giving how you scared poor Truth away.” Chrysalis said.

The former queen and Shining were still in the apartment, huddled close together by the crystal ball that allowed them to communicate to anyone with their own.

And that’s communication in the Crystal Empire.

(The more you know.)

“I scared her away?!”

“She was in tears. I’m actually quite upset with you.” Chrysalis said.

“She jumped out a window and everything.” Shining put in.

“She what!?”

“She has wings.” Chrysalis added.

“Oh, right.” Cadance sounded sheepish. “But why hire a babysitter? I thought you said Changelings mature quickly.”

“Most do, but Lovebug is half pony. She’s still a small child. We cannot simply leave her here alone.” Chrysalis said, speaking like Cadance should have known this already. “What if she found a knife? Or a bottle? Or that box of things you hide from Shining?”

Shining looked at the Changeling. “What box of-?”

“Nothing!” Cadance said quickly. She cleared her throat and asked, “Why can’t one of you watch her?”

“I have to go down to the station. Something about peaches.” Shining said.

“And I have a sobbing Handmaiden to find.” Chrysalis said, sound less than pleased. “Besides, it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve. We’re lucky anypony responded.”

Cadance gave an exasperated sigh. “Fine. I’ll hire the hooker to look after Lovebug.”

“Thank you. Oh, and by the way, Shining didn’t sleep with Truth. He slept with me.”

“He WHAT?”

“Oh, would you look at the time.” Shining said, staring at his foreleg. “Bye honey.”

“Toodles.” Cadance sounded less that pleased.

Shining tapped the crystal ball to shut it off.

“You think she’s still mad?” Shining asked Chrysalis.

The changeling shrugged. “Couldn’t say. She’s been acting really weird. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was pregnant again.”

Shining cringed. “Yeah, if you could not remind me you impregnated my wife before I did, that’d be great.”

Chrysalis smirked.

There was a knock at the door.

“It’s unlocked.” Shining called.

The door swung open to reveal a tall and shapely mare of a deep, luscious pink. A breeze from a nearby window blew her pink and black mane in slow motion.

“Hello, darlings.” Juno said, her voice as smooth as oiled hinges.

“Hi.” Shining said, grinning stupidly.

Chrysalis frowned and smacked him on the back of the head.

Shining yelped and Juno giggled. “Always have to watch them, eh?” she winked at Chrysalis.

The changeling smiled. “You have no idea.”

Shining rubbed the back of his head gingerly. “Ow.” he said to Chrysalis.

She just tsked at him.

Juno entered the apartment. “So, where is dear little Lovebug?”

“She’s back here, let me show you.” Chrysalis said, jerking her head towards the back. After Juno walked past Chrysalis, she mouthed to Shining.

‘Get out of here.’

Shining raised an eyebrow. ‘Why?’ he mouthed back.

Chrysalis jerked her head at Juno’s flank and waggled her eyebrows.

Shining looked confused for a moment and then recoiled. He scowled at Chrysalis and made for the door, closing it a little harder than necessary as he left.

Smiling, Chrysalis turned back to Juno, who was standing in a hallway looking between several doors.

“This one, dear.” Chrysalis said, opening the door to Lovebug’s room, where the baby slept peacefully.

(Hooray for soundproofing.)

“Thank you.” Juno said as she entered.

Chrysalis stared at Juno’s plot as she passed entered the room before entering herself.

“Anything I should know?” Juno asked as she looked at the sleeping filly.

“She’s a biter.” Chrysalis said with a chuckle. “But honestly she really is a sweet little thing. When she wakes up, give her some of the milk that’s the fridge. The one marked ‘Lovebug’, not the one marked ‘Cadance’. That one isn’t milk.”

Juno grinned.

Chrysalis smiled and continued. “After that she usually watches the TV. Nothing too violent and nothing too hot and heavy. If she want’s to go to the park that’s fine, but keep a close eye on her. She’s a runner. And don’t leave her alone too long in a room. She’s quite the escape artist.”

Juno looked back down at the sleeping Lovebug. “Don’t worry, I’m sure everything will be alright.”

Chrysalis nodded and then handed the unicorn a small crystal ball. “If anything happens, just tap that and I’ll answer.” she moved next to the bed. “Mom is going out to look for auntie Truth.” she whispered to the filly. “Be back soon.” she pecked the filly on the head and began walking out.

“Good thing you answered so quickly.” she said to Juno. “We might’ve had to get a guard to watch her. And you know how useless they can be.”

Juno just smiled and nodded. After Chrysalis left, Juno said, “Yes. Yes I do.” an evil grin stretched her lips.

Chapter Five: In Which Some Things Are Sorta Explained

Shining woke slowly, his thoughts swimming and blending, his mind muddled and hazy, his body feeling none too good. He shifted his shoulders and suddenly realized he could barely move an inch either way. Blinking to help his eyes adjust, Shining tried taking stock of his surroundings.

He was looking at a ceiling. A ceiling high above himself and the color of teal.

“Well, look who finally decided to join us.” said a voice.

Shining felt his world shift as he was suddenly brought up into a standing position. Well, he would be standing if he wasn’t tied to a table.

He could see the room clearly now. He was in Cadance’s office, but instead of Cadance sitting behind the big desk, he saw the foal sitter from before, dressed in a brown long coat. What was her name?

“Juno Eclipse, Captain Armor.” the pegasus said, her previous normal accent forgone for her actual, cool Trottingham accent. “Ex-Night-Guard.”

Juno Eclipse

Fomer Night-Guard

Current Terrorist

“I have some business to discuss with you.”

Juno got out of the chair and walked over to Shining.

“Listen, Captain,” she said in an almost breathy voice, sounding like she was trying to seduce him. “I have a problem that you and only you can help me with.”

“Yeah, is that why you’ve tied me to a table?” Shining deadpanned. “Kinky.”

Juno smirked, but the humor didn’t reach her eyes. “No Captain Armor, I’m afraid that isn’t what I’ve come here for. What I’ve come here for is your reputation and access.”

“And what do you mean by that?”

“I need you to go to Canterlot, enter the Night-Guard’s headquarters, and plant a package there for me. They know you. They trust you. You won’t have a problem.”

“Why?”

“Those details are not important. These, however, are.”

Juno took a step back as Shining was suddenly turned so he could see Cadance and Chrysalis tied to two chairs and gagged.

“Here’s the situation, Captain.” Juno whispered in his ear. “If you don’t do this job for me, I’ll kill them both.”

Cadance and Chrysalis looked shaken and Juno grinned. This was too ea-

Shining began laughing loudly.

Juno jumped back, having stood too close to the unicorn and having had her ears assaulted by his mirth.

“Ha!” Shining cried. “You actually think I give a diamond dog’s left butt cheek about these two? One fed off my emotions and nearly killed me and the other cheated on me with the former. You killing them would be like a favor!”

Juno recoiled for a moment but quickly regained her composer. She still had her backup.

“Well if they mean nothing, perhaps this is of more value.”

Juno nodded towards somepony outside Shining’s field of vision and stepped back. A unicorn mare wearing a grey suit and a grey ski mask walked into his sight hold Lovebug tightly. The filly struggled against her captor, however ineffectively. Cadance and Chrysalis strained against their bindings.

“This lovely lady is Masque Espion.” Juno explained. “She’s here to motivate you.”

Masque suddenly pulled a butterfly knife from her pocket, rapidly unfolding it and held the blade against Lovebug’s throat.

Chrysalis and Cadance’s struggles doubled as they shouted, muffled by the gags in their mouths. Shining gulped.

“It’s simple, Captain. We hold all the cards. If you don’t cooperate, we shred them.”

Shining sighed and hung his head. “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Juno smiled like a shark. “Wonderful.” she nodded to Masque, who put away her knife with a look of disappointment. “Now, Bennett will explain the rest to you downstairs. This whole thing shouldn’t take more than a day. And when it’s over, you’ll all be back together safe and sound.”

Liar. Shining thought.

“Sounds reasonable.” he said.

Somepony behind him sliced the ropes holding him up, dropping him to the ground. Rising, Shining made his way to the door, but paused just before exiting. He looked over his shoulder at Juno.

“If anything, anything at all, happens to my family, I will come back and I will kill you. If you run, I’ll chase. If you hide, I’ll search. If you fight, I’ll fight harder. You won’t escape.”

Shining didn’t wait for her reply.

******

Crystal Tower Offices

5:30 PM

“Take the gags out.” Juno said to Masque after Shining left.

The mare handed off Lovebug to Juno and using her knife sliced the gags from behind the mare’s necks, nearly cutting them in the process. Both gasped as the gags dropped away and both glared daggers at Juno, who sat on the desk, cradling Lovebug.

“Monster!” Chrysalis spat.

Juno nodded to Masque, who promptly smacked Chrysalis.

“Hey! Leave her alone!” Cadance shouted, struggling against her bindings.

Juno smiled. “We will be as civil as you allow us.” she said while she fussed with Lovebug’s hair.

Cadance glared at her. The alicorn’s horn began glowing before suddenly popping and fizzling out. “What did you do to my magic?” she demanded.

“Simple, we switched your regular coffee cream with a specially made one laced with a poison that cancels out unicorn magic. Side effects include mood swings and odd cravings if mixed with coffee.” Juno giggled. “That worked rather well with you suddenly firing your nanny.”

Cadance blinked. “My coffee? Mood swings? This is all your fault!”

Juno nodded.

Chrysalis growled and her twisted horn began lighting up with magic before it to popped and fizzled.

“Of course we made sure to give you each a dose while you were out.”

“So what’s this all about?” Cadance asked.

Juno sighed and handed Lovebug back to Masque as she walked over to Cadance. Leaning close, she whispered. “If I told you, it would spoil the fun.”

Smirking, Juno took back Lovebug, who was still struggling as best she could, and left the office, nodding to Masque. The ski masked mare nodded back and sat on Cadance’s desk, idling playing with her knife as she stared at Cadance and Chrysalis.

“And who are you supposed to be?” Chrysalis asked her.

“Whomever I need to be.” she said, her Prench accent thick. She then smiled at Chrysalis. “Although, I must say I enjoyed being you.”

Chrysalis scowled. “Truth was with me last I remember. Where is she? What have you done with her.”

Masque took her time taking a cigarette from her pocket and lighting it with a silver lighter she took from the opposite pocket. The took a long drag from it and then leaned forward to blow the smoke in Chrysalis’s face. The changeling went into a coughing fit as Masque just leaned back.

“She is somewhere where she can cause no trouble.” the unicorn said as she began slicing a peach with her knife.

******

Truth’s head whipped around as the door opened. A single pair of hooves clopped on the floor as a pink pegasus Truth initially mistook for Cadance entered holding Lovebug in her hooves.

“Here,” the mare said, her accent pegging her for one that hailed from Trottingham. “I do believe you are the nanny.”

Truth mutely accepted Lovebug, who had been struggling in the other mare’s grasp. She calmed down as her little black eyes settled on the changeling’s face.

“I’m afraid she doesn’t like me much.” the mare said playfully.

“What’s going on?” Truth asked the mare.

The mare’s voice suddenly became cold. “Nothing that needs concern you.” She turned and left the room, the door slamming and clicking locked behind her.

Truth stared at the door for a moment before Lovebug’s coos brought her attention back to the filly.

“Hush little one. Everything is going to be fine.”

*******

Juno made sure to lock the door securely. She tucked key into her overcoat as she walked away. One of her stallions, Two Guns, greeted her at the end of the hallway.

“Sir.” the black-clad stallion nodded as he fell into step beside her.

“How’s securing the building going?” Juno asked.

“The building is ours, sir. All the civilians have been rounded up and secured on the thirty-first floor. Teams have completed their sweeps and all other floors are empty of personnel.”

“Number of civilians?”

“Thirty exactly. Not counting the high values.”

“And guard response?”

“They’ve surrounded the building but seem unsure of what to do. Theo says he’ll be able to get ears on them soon.”

“Good.” Juno said as she pushed open a door. “Get back to that hallway and guard that room. If the nanny wants anything you call two more in for back up before you even talk to her. Got that?”

Two Guns nodded. “Yes, sir.”

Juno nodded and continued forward. She entered a large open room with several tables piled high with food and drink. A few hallways branched off, leading to the stairs or offices. Several ponies, most armed, milled about, idly chatting or eating.

Juno rolled her eyes and sucked in a breath. “Lock! Load! Front and center!” she shouted.

Everypony in the room jumped and immediately began going about like they were actually doing something. Two near identical stallions came forward, each gunmetal grey with oil black manes and tails. They had a splotch of bronze over either their left or right eye. Their cutie marks were matching bullets. When they stood next to each other, it gave one the impression of a pony in front of a mirror.

“Yes, Boss?” they said in unison.

Lock & Load

(I see what you did there.)

“Show me what kind of armaments you’ve procured.”

The twins nodded and walked over to a table that had been cleared of food and drink. Several metal cases stacked beside the table. Lock, who had the splotch on his right eye, moved behind the table while Load, who’s splotch adorned his left eye, stood in front. As one they began opening the cases and placing their contents on the table as they listed them off.

“We’ve gotten all the best goodies, Boss.” Lock said. “We’ve got your silencers."

“Your loudeners.” Load added.

“Your grenades.”

“Your bandoliers.”

“Your huge ass magazines.”

“Your rifles.”

“Your shotguns.”

“Your scopes.”

“Your chewing gum.” Lock held up the flavored rubber.

“And this is for shooting down helicopters.” Lock said as he hefted a larger launcher with the cone-shaped rocket sitting in the end.

Juno smiled. “Oh, I don’t think we’ll need that one just yet, but it’s good to have it. Good work boys. Here, have a cookie.” she pulled the pastry from her pocket and tossed it to the two, who began scrabbling to get it before the other.

Why bother when they were surrounded by other treats? Well, when they had first taken over the building, Juno had stolen all the good cookies for herself.

Juno smirked at the brothers and began striding over to the elevator. She entered and pressed the button for the floor she wanted: floor thirty-eight. What’s on floor thirty-eight?

“Computor and Vault.” a cool automated voice stated.

Juno exited the elevator and navigated her way through the maze of humming technology until she found her techie, who was busy tapping away at a keyboard.

“Got anything for me, Theo?” she asked.

Theoretical, or Theo for short, looked up from the screen he had been watching. He was a short and thin sky blue unicorn with a pair of gold rimmed glasses perched on his nose. His cutie mark was a book and pencil.

“I’ve got about three levels of encryption and a SpitfireWall with about five or so ‘fail-safes’.” he made the quote with his hooves. “And after that I’ve still got around four links to find and lock down so they can’t be interrupted as well as introduce a virus to mask our tracks and wipe the security footage when we’re done."

Theo

NERRRRRRRRRD!

Juno stared at the unicorn and then just shook her head. “In equestrian, Theo.”

The unicorn sighed. “In about an hour, I’ll own everything on this side of the op.”

Juno smiled and patted Theo on the back. “Good boy.”

“Less if I have the pass code.” he nagged.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Juno got up and began making her way out of the room.

Thing were going ever so smooth so far.

Author's Note

So anyway, Zecora will be in the next chapter.....

I Lied

Author's Note

Hey, remember when I said Zecora would be in this chapter?
Well......

I Lied

Shining opened the door to the room the armed ponies indicated to him and as soon as he entered his head was snapped back by the force of a punch. His head bounced painfully and comically off some pipes with a clang before he fell to the floor, trying to regain his senses.

“Merry Hearth’s Warming Eve, Shining.” Blackguard said, shaking his hoof to ease the pain.

Shining growled as he got up and had to be restrained by two muscled ponies, which judging by their bandages were the same two from before.

“Ah, Bennett. I thought you were dead.” Shining said.

Blackguard shrugged. “Yeah, I get that sometimes.”

“Nice outfit.” Shining scoffed.

Blackguard looked down at himself. He had traded his coat from before for a chain mail shirt and a belt that held a knife and a pistol. He wore black leather coverings on his forelegs and had put on a short chain necklace.

Blackguard snorted. “My new employment’s dress code is casual.”

“There’s a fine line between casual and what you’re wearing.”

Blackguard rolled his eyes. “I don’t have to take this. All I have to do is explain to you what’s going to happen. You are going to be taken discreetly to the train station where you will board the train with two of our associates. The train will take you to Canterlot where the exact parameters of your mission will be explained.” Blackguard then got right in Shining’s face. “Oh, and if you deviate from the plan, if you try something, if you make my life even the teensiest bit more difficult than it needs to be. I will kill your daughter.”

“She’s not my daughter.” Shining growled. “But even so, if you even go near her, I will gut you like a griffon guts a fish.”

Blackguard back up, looking surprised for a moment, but quickly covered it up. “I count on it, Shining. Just like old times.”

Shining snorted. “Yeah, which reminds me. Why all this? What is Blackguard Bennett doing working for a feather-brained Night-Guard?”

Blackguard smiled in an unpleasant manner. “Honestly Shinny? They found me and they offered a sizable amount of bits for the job. But when I found out it was you, I said I would do it for free.”

Shining smiled grimly. “You sure know how to hold a grudge, Bennett.”

“Yeah, that I do.”

******

Crystal Train Station

6:15 PM

Shining wasn’t happy to be in a bustling train station under normal circumstances. The whole place was a nightmare to control and keep orderly, mainly because there was no order. And the nightmare was ten times worse the day before a major holiday. Just like today.

Maybe that was part of their plan.

“Okay, here’s our train.” a unicorn called Weasel said. He looked his name too, being dust grey and thin with an angular face that you were sure had whiskers at some point. His cutie mark was even a weasel!

Weasel led Shining and one of the burly earth ponies from before onto the train. They moved to an empty compartment and Weasel spoke again.

“Okay, this guy here,” he gestured to the earth pony. “He’s your foal sitter. He looks after you and makes sure you don’t get in any trouble. Now you two play nice whilst I go make a call.” he made to duck out but then pushed his head back in. “Oh, and don’t think I don’t understand your plight. Two sexy mares that only have eyes for each other. I’ve been there, brother.” he chuckled.

Shining smiled at Weasel. “You know Weasel, you’re a funny guy. I think I’ll kill you last.”

Weasel stopped laughing and left the compartment. Shining and his ‘foal sitter’ exchanged glances.

“Don’t try anything.”

Shining smiled good-naturedly. “Like what?”

The train lurched as it pulled out of the station and Shining’s guard was thrown off balance for a moment. That was all the time he needed. Shining leapt forward and drove his hoof straight into the pony’s snout. The head snapped back, but Shining grabbed it and brought it down so that he could drive his knee into it.

The stallion slumped to the ground unconscious.

Frowning, Shining grabbed the stallion’s head and twisted until he heard a wet snap. He didn’t like the idea of killing a pony like that, but the stakes were too high.

Shining popped his head out of the compartment and caught the attention of a passing stewardess.

“Excuse me, may I get a blanket and a pillow please?”

“Of course, sir.”

Shining waited a few tense minutes for the stewardess to return with the blanket and pillow, which he accepted with a smile.

“Thank you. Hey, I was wondering. What’s the approximate time to Canterlot?”

“Four hours sir.”

“Thanks. And if I wanted to make a call, where would I go?”

“The back car sir. The engine interferes with calls. Anything else?”

“Just don’t disturb my friend. He’s dead tired.” Shining smiled at the stewardess, who returned his smile as she walked away.

Shining ducked back in the compartment and quickly set up the dead stallion to appear as though he were simply resting. He searched the pony and came up with a black sort of square shaped hunk of plastic with an antenna. Shrugging, Shining tucked it away

Leaving the compartment, Shining began making his way to the caboose.

******

Crystal Tower

6:20 PM

“You’re underway?” Juno asked.

“Yes, sir.” Weasel’s slightly nasal voice sounded over the crystal ball.

“Good. Keep Captain Armor calm and safe. Call me when you’ve reached Canterlot.”

“Yes, sir.”

Juno tapped the crystal ball and leaned back in the plush chair she had appropriated, sipping some of the watered down champagne she had taken from the party. She could get used to this.

Bennett suddenly entered the room. “Miss Eclipse?”

Juno raised a hoof to silence him as she finished her drink. Placing the glass on the table, she turned her attention to the unicorn. “Yes?”

“The Night-Guards have arrived.”

Juno smiled. “Show time.”

*****

Not-So-Ludicrous-Express, Outskirts of the Capital

6:23 PM

Weasel tapped the crystal ball and moved to put it away when he was tapped on the shoulder. He turned around in time to see Shining’s hoof the instant before it connected with his face.

Weasel stumbled back, tripping over some loose boxes and falling.

“Shining!” Weasel cried in fear.

“Hello, Weasel. Feeling chatty?” Shining growled.

The unicorn scrambled to his hooves, slowly backing away from the advancing Shining.

“Shining! Buddy! W-where’s-?”

“Dead.” Shining said simply. “And unless you feel like joining him, you’re going to talk.”

Weasel scrambled to open the door at the end of the car, but Shining slammed into him before he could open it, sending them both out onto the back of the car, Weasel getting slammed into the railing.

Shining looked out and saw that the train was fast approaching a bridge. “Hey Weasel, you wanted to be a pegasus?” Shining shouted over the wind.

The unicorn looked fearfully between the bridge and Shining and shook his head.

“Then you better talk!” Shining shoved Weasel halfway over the rails.

“Wait! Wait!” Weasel shouted, fore-hooves flailing. “What do you want to know?!”

“The package I’m supposed to deliver, what and where is it?”

“It’s a bomb! It’s supposed to take out the techs in Canterlot! It’s in the car there, box marked for the Night-Guard building!”

“Why?”

“Juno has a tech pony that’s going to hack the server in Canterlot and download a whole bunch of financial data! Empty the coffers, she said!”

The train started over the bridge.

“Why me?” Shining demanded.

“Bennett said you were the best one for the job!”

Shining sighed and glanced to the side. This was just getting better and better. He looked back to Weasel to see the unicorn pulling a pistol from his coat. Shining punched his a few times and the gun fell away. Weasel gasped in pain as blood leaked from his nose.

“Hey Weasel! Remember when I said I’d kill you last?” Shining shouted.

“That’s right, Shining! You did!” the unicorn said as he clutched his nose.

“I lied.”

Shining let go of Weasel and gravity did the rest, dropping the unicorn like a stone into the deep canyon. His scream of terror faded quickly, drown out by the noise of the train. Shining watched him go with a grim look.

Shining went back inside the compartment and began searching for the box Weasel had told him about. He found the box after a little searching and the unwanted discovery of some more… personal items. He picked it up and gently pried it open. Inside he found a little greeting card that just said ‘Message for you, sir!’. Behind the card was a large pack of explosives and more wires than Shining could follow. The whole package smelled strongly of peaches.

Shaking his head, Shining tucked the package under his foreleg and moved out onto the balcony of the caboose again. He hopped a few times on the tips of his hooves before he threw the package and jumped after it. The landing was sharp and hard and sent Shining tumbling down a steep embankment.

When he came to a stop he picked himself up and dusted off the mud and twigs he had picked up. He found the package and turned towards the lights of the not too distant Crystal Capital.

The sun was setting and he had four hours to get back and save his family.

“Merry bucking Hearth’s Warming Eve.” Shining said to the crisp air as he started over the bridge.

Clop Hard

Base of Crystal Tower

6:45 PM

The base of Crystal Tower was abuzz with activity as ponies in military armor and attire went about trailers and tents, setting up spotlights and embankments of sandbags. Or rather, crystal bags, if one was feeling picky.

Blind Justice watched them work with a grim and somewhat annoyed look as a medic continued to tend to his wounds. He had more than once insisted he was fine, but the medic persisted, fussing over his wounds.

“Damn it man, that wasn’t the first explosion I’ve been close to.” Justice growled at the medic.

“It certainly seems like the worst.” the medic, a crystal pony, fussed.

Justice scoffed. “Please, there was this one time some joker dumped a bomb beneath my carriage. Busted the damn thing open like a ripe peach and threw me clear thirty feet.”

“Oh my, that sounds awful.”

Justice shrugged. “I ate a lot of ice cream while they stitched me up. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon.”

“An afternoon!”

“Captain Justice?” a third voice cut in.

Justice looked for the source and saw none other than Captain Sunshine of the Night-Guards walking up to him.

“Sunshine, is that really you?” Justice asked.

“In the flesh.” she answered.

Justice smirked in a rather humorless way. “I guess I should tell you I’m lieutenant now.”

“I’m just surprised you’re not dead.”

“It’ll take more than a giant spear through my gut to kill me.”

Sunshine smiled a little. “Sometimes you make me forget how much I hate your guts.”

Justice shrugged. “Get in line, sweetheart.”

Sunshine chuckled and then her expression grew somber. “Do you know what’s going on here?”

“They didn’t tell you?”

Sunshine’s expression darkened. “The commander didn’t see it fit to share the intel with the grunts.”

“Commander?”

Sunshine jerked her head to the side, indicating a green pegasus in a brown suit. His blond mane was cropped close to his body and his tail was slim. His cutie mark was a crisscross of red tape.

Justice snorted. “I can smell the cologne from here.”

Sunshine smirked and nodded.

Commander Dwayne T Robinsson had not climbed the ladder to his position in the Battlefield Unanimous Crusading Kickers to deal with one little hostage negotiation.

(I see what you did there. You didn’t do it very well, but you did it.)

(…Shut up.)

Robinsson knew that this was the capital of the Crystal Empire and he knew that there had been an explosion, but he seriously doubted this was anything but some disgruntled employee with some knowledge of explosives.

Hardly worth his time.

********

Crystal Tower

7:00 PM

Truth huddled with Lovebug, shivering slightly as the temperature of the room dropped with Celestia’s sun. The room was sparsely furnished, with only a small bed and a short table. The foal had had fallen asleep not too long ago, nuzzling against her.

Truth always found it calming to be with Lovebug. The foal had attached herself to her like she had attached herself to Shining and her… well, Truth supposed they were her mothers. That was going to be confusing when she started talking.

Truth wished Lovebug could talk. She needed intel. Truth was often called just a maid, but she was a maid that used to, and technically still did, serve a Queen. She was small, but at the very least she could give one attacker a hell of a fight.

She could also do with a drink.

Truth tucked Lovebug into bed, making sure the foal would be snug and warm, and then walked over to the door. She rapped it sharply.

After a moment she heard carpet muffled hoof falls come and stop in front of the door.

“What?” asked a gruff voice.

“I’m hungry. And thirsty. And it’s cold in here.” Truth said, using her most innocent and vulnerable voice.

The voice sighed. “Well, what do you want me to do about it?”

“There was a party downstairs. Bring me something, anything. And see if you can’t get you tech to turn up the heat in here.”

Two Guns frowned. “How did you know-?”

“That you have a tech? I guessed.” Truth said sheepishly.

Two guns sighed and stomped away.

“You’re bringing the stuff, right?” Truth called after him.

“I’m doing it, I’m doing it!” Two Guns said as he pulled his radio from his belt. “Bloody nagging nanny.” he muttered. “Ich brauche etwas zu essen und Punsch hier oben.” he said into his radio.

“The buck?” said the pony at the other end of the line. “Speak Equestrian you stupid mother-bucker!”

“Fick dich.” Two Guns growled. To the radio he said. “Just bring up some food and stuff. And somepony tell Theo to turn up the heat. It’s bucking freezing.”

******

Crystal Tower

7:10 PM

“Relax. Calm down.” Juno said calmly to the chattering group of office employees and executives. But despite her requests, they continued to make noise, the volume steadily increasing. Sighing, she nodded to Blackguard, who stood behind her.

The unicorn grinned and pulled his pistol from his belt, firing several shots into the air.

The hostages quieted down, many clutching their ears. Among those clutching their ears was Juno herself. She glared at Blackguard as he lowered his gun. She smacked him on the back of the head.

“I meant yell!” she yelled at him. “Or break something! Not deafen them and me!”

Blackguard sulked and stepped out of Juno’s reach.

Sighing, Juno turned back to the assembled hostages. “Now, I’m sure you are all dying to just go home and put all of this behind you, but my associates and I will not be leaving until we get what we want. So your best hope for making this quick is to cooperate.” Juno grinned sadistically as she looked over the frightened ponies. “Now, where is Big Wig?”

An older stallion with a grey streaked black mane stood up. “I am Big Wig.”

Juno smiled. “Nice to meet you, sir. Follow me.”

*******

Crystal Tower

7:15 PM

“Hey nanny, I’ve got your food.” Two guns called through the door.

There was no answer.

Two Guns exchanged an annoyed look with his companion, a mare called Cookays. Who, appropriately enough, was carrying a plate of cookies.

“Hey, nanny!” Two Guns shouted as he pounded on the door.

The door was pushed forward by his hoof knocks, swinging open. Two Guns exchanged a look with Cookays.

“You go first.” Two Guns said to Cookays, gesturing to the darkened room.

Cookays gave him a look. “Aw hell no.”

Two Guns sighed roughly shoved the bottle of punch he was carrying into Cookays’s already over stuffed forelegs and cocked one his two guns. He slowly edged forward into the darkened room.

“Hey nanny!” he called out again.

Suddenly Truth swung back hooves forward from the ceiling. Her hooves connected with the stallion’s shoulders, knocking him back and into the opposite wall, jarring the gun from his hooves.

“Oh shit!” Cookays shouted as she scrambled to get her gun, but was delayed tripping over the food and punch.

Truth dropped down from the ceiling and took two long strides before leaping forward and tackling Two Guns. The stallion grunted and grappled with the smaller changeling as he struggled to bring up his other gun.

Two Guns managed to pull his second pistol from its holster, but Truth grabbed his wrist in a death lock. Two Guns struggled to bring the gun front and center to shoot the changeling, but her grip was too strong. He did however manage to fire several times. Unfortunately, he ended up firing those several shots into Cookays, dropping the pony where she stood.

“I… barely… got… a line.” she gasped before expiring.

Truth slammed Two Guns’s hoof into the wall repeatedly until he lost his grip on the gun. As the gun fell away she reached back and put all of her weight into a right hook.

Two Guns’s head snapped back and he promptly returned the punch, knocking Truth off of him and onto the floor.

“Are you kidding me!?” Two Guns roared at Truth. A swift kick made Truth cry out in pain. Growling, Two Guns turned his back on Truth as he bent over to retrieve his gun.

Truth was on him in an instant, wrapping her foreleg around his neck. Two Guns growled and tried to throw her off. Truth kicked the back of his knees, making him kneel. Now with his head more or less level with hers, Truth grabbed his chin with her other hoof and jerked sharply up.

She then twisted his head sharply. There was a wet crack and Two Guns went limp.

Breathing heavily, Truth let Two Guns’s body drop to the floor.

“Und tschüss, anfänger bitch.” Truth said to the body.

Truth

Holy Sh*t!

Soft cries soon got her attention. Truth rushed back into the room and got the crying Lovebug from where she had hidden her beneath the bed. She rocked her gently, quietly hushing her.

“Hush, little one, hush.” Truth said softly. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Truth here won’t let anyone hurt you. You’ll see Mommy and… Mom, I guess, soon. And Daddy too. Hush.”

The foal soon quieted, fixing her little black eyes on Truth’s face.

“There we go.” Truth said softly, smiling warmly at the foal.

She tucked the foal back beneath covers and went back into the hallway. She searched the bodies, taking three pistols from between the two bodies. She also picked up a pair of what she recognized as grenades and a radio.

“Okay, bitches.” Truth said as she checked the weapons. “Let’s play.”

******

Crystal Tower

7:23 PM

“Here We are, Mr. Big Wig.” Juno said as she opened a door for the older stallion. “You’re a businesspony. So let’s talk business.”

Juno and Blackguard followed Big Wig into the room, where Theo waited at a large conference table with a monitor and a keyboard. Blackguard stood next to Theo while Juno and Big Wig took seats on the opposite side of the table, facing each other.

“Theo, tell Mr. Big Wig here what it is you need.” Juno said as she pulled a pistol from her coat.

“I need the pass code for your computer systems.” Theo said.

Big Wig looked shocked. “I don’t have that code.”

Juno smiled in a sympathetic way, but the warmth didn’t reach her eyes. “Please, Mr. Big Wig. These systems are new. What could we possibly do?”

Big Wig snorted. “Please. Anything you think you could learn in out systems is practically worthless to anypony and whatever you might learn will be equally worthless by tomorrow.”

“Then there’s no reason to not tell me.”

Big Wig shook his head.

Theo sighed. “I told you.” he said, more to Blackguard than to Juno.

Juno shot him a look and then turned back to Big Wig. “Okay. I am going to count to… three. Not four, not five. Three.”

Big Wig looked unimpressed.

“One.” Juno picked up her gun.

Big Wig sighed.

“Two.” Juno gently cocked the weapon.

A small bead of sweat appeared on Big Wig’s forehead.

“Thre-”

“I don’t even know the code.” Big Wig said. “So if you think it’s really going to help, kill me.”

Juno paused and then began suddenly laughing. Blackguard and Theo looked at each other and then nervously began chuckling too. Juno looked over at them, laughing even louder. The two quickly joined in and Juno turned back to Big Wig, laughing even louder. Big Wig looked at Juno like she was insane until she suddenly stopped laughing and raised the pistol back up. There was a look shock on his face an instant before Juno pulled the trigger.

Blackguard and Theo stopped laughing when the gunshot rang out. Juno looked at the body and the slowly growing pool of blood with not an ounce of remorse.

“I don’t know, made me feel better.” she said. She looked at Blackguard and Theo. “How about you two?”

They both shrugged.

“Now Theo, you can crack the code?” Juno asked.

Theo nodded. “Yeah, shouldn’t take more than ten minutes.”

“And then we’re set at this end?”

Theo nodded.

Juno smiled broadly. “Wonderful.” she looked to Blackguard. “You, clean this up.”

“Why me?”

“Because I’ve just gotten my hooves done.” Juno smiled.

Blackguard groaned as Juno got up and left the room. He felt Theo poke him and looked down at the tech.

“What?”

Theo held out his hoof expectantly.

Blackguard sighed and put a small sack of bits into it.

******

Crystal Tower Ventilation System

7:28 PM

Truth sat scrunched inside a very cramped ventilation duct, trying the keep her breathing steady. She began crawling away from the conference room as fast as she could.

“Why didn’t you stop them?” Truth said to herself as she slowly inched her way through the shaft. “Because you’d be dead too, dumb ass.” she answered herself.

Truth grunted as she pulled herself out of the duct and landed with a thump in the little hideaway she had found and stashed herself and Lovebug. Truth leaned against the wall, sighing.

“What do you think?” she asked the sleeping foal.

Lovebug didn’t answer.

“Fat lot of help you are.”

Author's Note

Shout Out to Cookays

Part 2 to follow.

Hell Fire

Author's Note

Warning: Shit get's Serious.

Hell Fire

Crystal Tower Ventilation System

7:38 PM

“Commander.” Sunshine said as she walked up to Robbinsson.

The pegasus turned from speaking with one of the police captains to look at her. He said something to the pony, who nodded and stepped away as Sunshine walked up.

“Yes, Captain Sunshine?” Robbinsson said.

“I believe we need to enter the building.”

Robbinsson smirked and shook his head. “And I believe you are mistaken. This is a waiting game Captain. All we have to do is wait for the nut in there to get tired and give himself up.”

Sunshine looked at Robbinsson as if he had just suggested grinding up fillies to make rainbows. “Sir, this isn’t some lone gunman or a depressed office worker. I’ve been speaking with Lieutenant Justice and he’s told me that the bomb that went off earlier was professionally made and set. We’re dealing with a premeditated and well thought out plan here, sir.”

Robbinsson smiled and shook his head like he was dealing with an ignorant child. “I appreciate you input, Captain, but I seriously doubt Lieutenant Justice is a reliable source.”

“Commander,” Sunshine said firmly, growing irritated. “I’m not Blind Justice’s biggest fan by a long shot. But I trust his experience when he says what a professional job looks like. And if we’re dealing with some depressed office worker, why hasn’t he sent a list of demands?”

“Maybe he’s having trouble deciding. Captain I really appreciate you and your team coming here, but I’m afraid this is all really unnecessary.”

Sunshine snorted. “If you don’t act, ponies are going to die. If they haven’t already.”

Robbinsson dropped his smiling act and shoved his face in Sunshine’s. “Captain, your presence is unnecessary. Anytime you want to leave consider yourself dismissed. Now, unless you get me concrete proof that we’re dealing with anything but some pony that’s had a little too much, then I will continue to treat as if that’s the situation.”

Robbinsson turned and walked away, not even bothering to glance at Sunshine. The pegasus growled and pawed the ground.

I swear if this thing ever gets going, the Commander might just get hit by accident. Nothing lethal, of course. Maybe just a bullet in his happy place.

Somepony tapped Sunshine on her shoulder.

“What?” she growled.

“I think we may have something.” Justice said.

Sunshine turned around to see the unicorn holding a radio, with a soft voice emanating from it.

******

Crystal Tower Ventilation System

7:43 PM

“If anypony can here this, this is Truth of the Crystal Empire. I am hold up inside Crystal Tower, which has been taken over by an unknown number of terrorists. They are well equipped and have already killed one hostage. I do not know what they are planning, but I advise immediate-”

A sudden burst of static interrupted Truth’s message. The changeling gasped softly before quickly covering her mouth. If they had heard her…

“Truth? This is Captain Sunshine of the Night-Guards. Can you hear me?”

Truth let out a breathy laugh of relief. “Yes I can.” she said into the radio.

“Is this a party line?” Sunshine asked.

“No, I made sure to keep off their frequency.”

“Good. Now Truth, I’m going to ask you a few questions to just make sure it’s you I’m talking to. What is your full name?”

“My name is Truth Uso.”

“What is your directive?”

“To protect my mistress and her family.”

“What is the average airspeed of an unladed swallow?”

Truth couldn’t help but grin. “Prench or Equestrian?”

*********

Base of Crystal Tower

7:48 PM

Sunshine smiled as Truth answered for the third time. She had no idea if the questions she was given by Justice would actually be relevant. But hey, every jackass has his day. She nodded happily to Justice.

“Alright Truth, you’re good. Now, what can you tell me about the force of terrorists?”

“The leader is a pink pegasus called Juno. She’s planned this out, covering as many ends as she can. She’s experienced and comfortable with violence and possibly psychotic. She’s brought in a tech and by now they likely own building by now.”

Sunshine nodded as she digested the information. She was surprised that the maid knew how to give intel. “Okay. Well, shit. They’ve no doubt fortified themselves for Tartarus and more. Truth, is there any weakness the building has? Somewhere a small team might slip in?”

There was silence on the other side of the line for a minute before Truth answered. “The kitchens. If you can get their attention focused elsewhere you can get in through the kitchens.”

Sunshine nodded again. “Okay, that sounds like it might work.” she glanced over at Robinsson. “Hey Truth, I’ll level with you. We have a snag. Commander head-up-his-ass won’t do jack unless we have ‘definite proof’ that there’s terrorists in there. Can you do anything to change his mind?”

Sunshine could practically hear the grin in Truth’s voice. “Yeah, I have an idea.”

*********

Crystal Tower Offices

8:00 PM

Juno lounged in Cadance’s chair in the alicorn’s office. The Princess of Love herself and Chrysalis were still bound to chairs. Masque stood off to the side, still playing with her knife.

Juno drank some punch. “You know princess; I really must say I like what you’ve done with this place. I mean, the modernization to nearly seamless. You almost can’t tell that all this added technology wasn’t here when this place was first created.”

Cadance, befuddled by Juno’s sudden friendliness, tilted her head to one side. “Um, thanks?”

Juno chuckled and waved her off. “Think nothing of it dear.” the pegasus bit into a peach she had brought, juices running down her chin. “I mean, sure I’ve kidnapped you and most of your family,” she said through her mouthful. She swallowed. “But, that doesn’t mean I need to be mean to you.”

Chrysalis scoffed. “Yes, you’ve been nothing but courteous.”

Juno smiled. “I have, haven’t I?” she laughed and took another bite of her peach.

“So, what now?” Cadance asked. “Shouldn’t you be… I don’t know, working on something?”

Juno just smiled. “Work on what? We own this building and the police and whatnot outside have their heads too far up their asses to do anything. Really, the only thing we need to worry about is your husband.” Juno ate the rest of her peach and tossed the remains away. “All he has to do is stick to the program and we’ll all be talking about tonight at dinner parties.”

“So everything rides on Shining doing what he’s supposed to?” Chrysalis asked, sounding uneasy.

Juno smiled. “Yes, Chryssi. Because on this end, we’ve left nothing to chance.”

Something suddenly whooshed by the window.

Juno’s smile faded a little and she glanced at each of the staring faces. “What?”

*******

Base of Crystal Tower

8:01 PM

Commander Dwayne T Robinsson prided himself on being a symbol of masculinity. However, whatever illusions he or anypony else had were shattered along with a spotlight as the body of a stallion came plummeting down from Tower. The high note that Robinsson reached would have impressed any singer and the amount of urine he expelled in fear would frighten the Sham Wow guy.

Sunshine, who barely blinked when the body hit the light, leaned over and whispered in Robinsson’s ear.

“Evidence.”

********

Crystal Tower Offices

8:02 PM

“Okay, who the buck just took a dive out the window!” Juno shouted into her radio.

A symphony of voices answered her. Growling, she switched her radio to a different channel.

“Theo, are the police doing?”

“They’re really bustling now. Looks like their setting up a staging area.”

Juno took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Theo, patch me in to the interior com systems.”

She heard a few clicks. “You’re on.”

“Attention ponies, attention! We are about to have a few party crashers, so get to your battle positions and be ready.” Juno clicked her radio over to a different channel. “Bennett.”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Get up to the roof and take a rifle from Lock and Load.”

“You got it.”

Juno clicked off her radio and turned to Masque, Cadance, and Chrysalis.

“Show time.”

******

Base of Crystal Tower

8:05 PM

“Okay, now what you’re going to do is send six ponies in heavy armor up to the front. They’ll likely take heavy fire, so use the spotlights to blind and point out shooters.” Sunshine said as she mapped out the battle plan in the dirt. “While they draw the terrorists’ attention and fire, myself and three Night-Guards will go around here and enter through the kitchens.” she looked pointedly at Robinsson. “They’ll take out the spotlights and start raining Tartarus down on them. When that happens, you hit them with suppression fire and pull those troopers out. We’ll be in by then and can start make their lives a living Tartarus.” she looked around. “Any questions?”

All the assembled ponies shook their heads.

“Then let’s rock.”

******

Crystal Tower Offices

8:10 PM

“Okay, everypony in position?” Juno asked over the radio as she watched the ground below through the window.

“Yes sir!” came the collective response.

“Good. Now listen up! We are about to teach the Crystal Guard, the Night-Guard, and whomever else a lesson in power.” Juno clicked off the radio and turned to Cadance and Chrysalis. “And you two get to watch in HD!” she said excitedly as she pulled down a monitor from the ceiling.

“I didn’t know that was there.” Cadance said sheepishly.

Juno smiled and turned her radio back on. “Okay Theo, you are the eyes. If you see something, don’t be shy and point it out.”

********

Crystal Tower Computer and Vault Room

“Got it, ma’am.” Theo answered. He cracked his neck, elbows, and wrists and took a drink from a can of soda before tapping away at the keyboard, bringing up several windows that showed the view of cameras scattered over the outside of the building.

“Okay everypony, listen closely.” Theo said, his voice being broadcast on the building wide PA system. “Twas the night before Hearth’s Warming; when all through the house; not a creature was stirring- except for the six assholes in heavy armor moving up on the main entrance in standard two by three formation.”

*******

Crystal Tower Offices

“Okay, hit them with normal rounds first. We just want to wound them for now. We’ll upgrade to armor piercing soon.” Juno said into her radio.

A few curt ‘Yes, sir’s followed her order. Juno smiled. Like clockwor-

She was suddenly blinded by a bright light shining through the window. And judging by the curses coming in over the radio, several of her ponies had been as well.

“Bennett, take out the lights!” Juno shouted into her radio.

“Yes, ma’am.” Blackguard said over the radio.

A loud bang echoed from above and one of the spotlights went out.

*******

Base of Crystal Tower

Robinsson flinched as one of the spotlights was shattered by a bullet. He coughed and tried to regain his composure, only to jump again as another shattered.

“Where are the shots coming from?” he shouted in alarm to one of the officers standing nearby.

The pony shrugged.

Looking uneasy, Robinsson leaned over the shoulder of a radio tech. “Are they through yet?”

“They’re cutting in now, sir.” the tech answered.

“Well, tell them to hurry up!” Robinsson yelled. “We’re running out of spotlights!”

“What the buck do you mean they’re cutting it!?” Sunshine hissed over her headset.

Robinsson picked up a radio. “I’m sorry, Captain.” he said, not convincing anyone. “But there’s too much at stake here to let it all ride on one team. If team alpha can get in through the front then we won’t need your team.”

“You self serving asshole! They’re sitting ducks if they try to cut in! Pull them back now!”

“I’ll take it under advisement.”

“You motherfu-!”

Robinsson clicked off the radio. “So crass.” he quipped. “How much longer till they’re in?” he asked the tech.

“Thirty seconds.”

******

Crystal Tower Offices

“Last one!” Blackguard said triumphantly over the radio.

“Wonderful.” Juno answered him. “All lower teams, focus fire on the breaching team.”

“It would appear they’re trying to cut their way in.” one of her mercs said jovially over the radio.

“Make ‘em pay.” Juno said, watching gunfire light up the floors below.

“Looks like we’ve got some party crashers.” Theo chimed in. “A team of Night-Guards coming around back, heading for the kitchens.”

“No-pony worry about them. I’ve got the kitchens covered.”

********

Crystal Tower Kitchens Entrance

Sunshine and three of her fellow Night-Guards moved as quietly as they could around the back of the Tower. They worked their way towards the large kitchen entrance, their hooves making barely a noise.

“Bravo team is in position to breech.” Sunshine whispered into her head set. “Commander Robinsson if you want to be able to piss unassisted ever again you will pull back Alpha team right now.” she hissed.

There was no reply. Figures.

As Sunshine and her team approached the big double doors, a voice she didn’t recognize suddenly whispered in her ear.

“Smile for the camera.” a female voice with a Trottingham accent said.

Sunshine heard a whirl and looked up to see a camera turn and focus on her.

“Fire at will, Bennett.” the voice said.

Sunshine opened her mouth to shout a warning, but she was too late. A bullet whipped down through Thatcher’s shoulder, her number two on this mission. The other two Night-Guards leapt forward as Sunshine grabbed the dazed Thatcher and hauled him under the overhang. She then brought her shotgun up and blasted the camera.

“You two secure the kitchen!” she shouted at the other two Night-Guards. “I’ll give this joker something to think about!”

The two dark furred ponies nodded and ducked inside the entrance as Sunshine tended to Thatcher.

“Okay Thatcher, how do you feel?” she asked as she inspected the wound.

“I’ve been better.” the stallion deadpanned.

Sunshine grinned. “Glad to see your sense of humor is alright. Now, your foreleg is broken. Hold this pad on the wound until the bleeding stops. In the meantime I’m going to borrow your weapon.”

Thatcher grinned cockily as he took the pad. “Borrow my weapon, sir? What, got a hot date?”

Sunshine couldn’t help but chuckle. “You know it.”

The pegasus slung her shotgun over her back and picked up Thatcher’s rifle. She lit a flare and tossed it out into the open. Several bullets struck the ground around the flare as Sunshine leaned out as far as she dared and opened fire at where she thought the shots were coming from.

*******

Crystal Tower Kitchens

A brown earth pony stallion dressed in attire associated with a chef sat napping at a counter in the kitchen.

“Oi!” shouted a voice in his ear.

The stallion snorted and looked around.

“Sqeezey?” he said to the air.

“Got a few Night-Guards heading in.” Juno said over the radio, the bud in his ear receiving.

“Lovely.” The stallion yawned and stretched. “And would it kill you to use my name?”

Juno sighed. “I don’t know your name.”

“Call me… Reuben.” the stallion said.

Two Night-Guards suddenly burst into the kitchen, pointing their sub-machine guns at the stallion.

“Show me your hooves!” one of the Night-Guards shouted.

“Whoa shit man, don’t hurt me!” Reuben shouted in a shrill voice, raising his fore hooves into the air.

The Night-Guard sighed. “Put your hooves down.”

Reuben slowly lowered his hooves. The two Night-Guards walked around the kitchen, checking it for any other ponies. After a minute of searching, they came up empty.

“Area secure.” one said to the other. “Inform the Captain.

“Sandwich?” Reuben said, offering the edible item to the Night-Guard that stood near him.

The pony shook his head.

“Suit yourself.” Reuben shrugged.

The pony spoke into his radio. “Captain Sunshine, the kitchen is secu-Ack!”

The Night-Guard gurgled as Reuben stabbed a knife into his neck. The other Night-Guard scrambled to bring up his gun as Reuben pulled the bloody knife free and threw it at the pony. The stallion went down with the knife lodged in his throat.

Sunshine burst into the room and only by some miracle managed to dodge a thrown meat cleaver. She stumbled as she hit her side on a counter, only just managing to bring her borrowed gun up as some crazed earth pony leapt at her wielding a butcher’s knife.

The knife skitted off the gun with a loud screech and severed the strap. A two-hoofed swing knocked the gun from Sunshine’s grasp. The pegasus managed to dodge a knife thrust aimed at her kidneys and drive a hoof into her attacker’s nose.

Reuben stumbled back, clutching his nose. He growled and picked up another meat cleaver. He came running at Sunshine again, swinging the cleaver and knife wildly.

Sunshine tried to bring her shotgun to bear, but only managed to use it to block Reuben’s chop with the cleaver. He tried again to stab her with the knife, but she twisted her shotgun and trapped his hooves in the strap. A hard yank sent the two blades flying from his grasp.

Reuben grabbed the shotgun and wrestled Sunshine for it. He managed to pry it away from her, but a double hoofed jump-kick sent him flying backwards over a counter top, the shotgun flying from his grasp.

Sunshine panted. “Who the fuck are you?”

Grinning crazily, Reuben stood up. He pulled something from beneath the counter and raised it up. Sunshine’s eyes widened as she stared at the cone of a RPG launcher.

“I’m the cook.” Reuben said just before he fired the weapon.

Reuben

The Cook

Oh, and he’s F*cking Crazy

Sunshine threw herself to the ground and the rocket sailed over her head, exploding with a deepening boom against the wall, throwing chunks of crystal and pans into the air.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart!” Reuben called. “I’ve got another one!”

Sunshine popped up, prepared to leap at the stallion in desperation when several pistol shots rang out. Reuben ducked down beneath the counter and Sunshine looked to see Thatcher leaning against the door, pistol in his good hoof.

“Captain!” he yelled as he fired off a few more shots. “Run!”

Sunshine didn’t need to be told twice. She threw herself at the doorway, scrambling to get away.

“Shit.” Thatcher muttered as the slide of his pistol locked open. As he tried to reload, his one hoofed status making it difficult, he saw the crazy stallion rise up, shotgun clutched in one hoof.

“Yippie ki yay,” Thatcher growled as he slammed the mag home and jacked the slide.

With his RPG launcher balanced on one shoulder, Reuben held the shotgun in his other hoof. He raised it level with Thatcher.

“Motherfucker!” Thatcher roared as he opened fire. He felt Sunshine brush past him and took solace in the fact that he had saved his captain. He might get a medal for this.

The shotgun blast was like the roar of an ancient beast. It lifted Thatcher off his hooves and slammed him into the wall. He was dead before he hit the floor.

********

Base of Crystal Tower

Sunshine ran faster than she could ever remember.

“Robinsson! Pull your fucking men back now!” she screamed into her comm as she zigzagged, trying to avoid the sniper as he took shots at her.

The yell was pointless. Robinsson was huddled behind a barricade, shouting orders into his radio.

“Bring in the Boat now!” he screamed.

********

Crystal Tower Offices

“I got three. Last one ran.” the stallion called Reuben reported.

“Good.” Juno replied. “Now get into position with that little toy of yours. I want a nasty surprise for their armor.”

“At once.” came the quick reply.

“Theo, any new developments?” Juno asked.

“Yeah. Blackguard can’t shoot for shit.” the tech snarked.

“Watch it!” the unicorn growled over the radio.

Juno smiled. “Okay you two, you’re both pretty.”

“Hold up.” Theo said. “It would appear as though the police have got themselves a balloon hammock.”

*******

Crystal Tower Roof

The Boat, as it was called, was a newly created airship. Smaller and faster than its predecessors, it was armored and armed to the teeth.

The airship came fast and with less noise than one would expect. If it weren’t for Theo’s warning, Blackguard wouldn’t have seen it until it was too late.

The airship opened fire on the unicorn with a single Gatling gun. The weapon chugged out big bullets with a rhythm you could almost dance to. Blackguard threw himself behind the lip of the roof, the thick crystal protecting him from the bullets.

But the airships cannons….

“I need anti-air here now!” Blackguard roared into the radio.

“Lock and Load!” he heard Juno shout, the bloodshed getting her pumped. “Bring ‘em down!”

*******

Crystal Tower

“Yes ma’am!” the twins shouted in unison as they grabbed up the appropriate weaponry.

A matching set, they charged down the halls towards the building’s front side, where the airship hovered firing Blackguard. They took each turn at a run, skidding and slipping more than a few times, bumping into walls and such, cursing all the way.

They skidded to a halt just at a large window, the glass vibrating from the backwash of the airship.

As one, Lock and Load used their massive weapons to smash the glass and then stick the ends of the weapons out into the cold night air.

“Are you in position?” Juno demanded over the radio.

“Yes ma’am!” the twins answered as one.

“Fire!”

A pair of what looked like fireballs to those that were ignorant of the weapons’ function and presence lanced from the window and slammed into the airship. A boom and crash echoed throughout the night as large holes were blown in the airship, crippling it.

*******

Crystal Tower Office

Juno watched with a sadistic grin as fire exploded around the air ship.

“Hit it again.” she said into her radio.

“Damnit Juno!” Cadance suddenly shouted. “You’ve made your point! Let them pull back!”

The pegasus suddenly whirled around and struck Cadance, whipping her head back and eliciting a fang filled snarl from Chrysalis.

“I’ll it under advisement, Princess.” she hissed. “HIT IT AGAIN!” she roared into the radio.

********

Crystal Tower Ventilation System

Truth hugged Lovebug close as the boom of guns and the roar of rockets rocked the building. She softly hushed the foal, more in an effort to calm herself than anything else. She then heard the sound of two ponies rushing by, shouting to one another about launchers and airships.

Gently setting the bundle of blankets that was Lovebug down in a corner of the crawlspace, Truth dared poke her head out to see what was happening. She watched as twin stallions shattered a large window with two big and evil looking weapons.

At the command of a voice over the radio, the twins fired their weapons, massive explosions going off as they hit their target.

“Hit it again.” the voice on the radio, Juno, Truth realized, commanded. There was a brief pause and suddenly Juno was all but screaming. “HIT IT AGAIN!”

The twins began reloading their weapons, struggling and muttering as they loaded what looked like rockets meant for vehicles into their weapons.

Truth ducked back into the crawlspace. What was she to do? What could she do? Her hoof brushed against the grenades she had taken from Two Guns.

She quickly snatched the two spheres up and pulled the pins. She leaned out the vent to the crawlspace as fly leavers sprang out from the grenades’ bodies. She tossed the two explosives at the twins and ducked back into the crawlspace. She grabbed Lovebug, who began fussing in her grasp, and crawled into the largest vent.

She didn’t care how much noise she made as she sped away from the place where the grenades landed.

Meanwhile, Lock and Load paused a moment before firing their weapons as they heard the distinctive tinkle of metal skittering over the ground. In unison, they looked at the source of the noise, which was a pair of grenades that had stopped just between the two of them.

“Oh,”

“Fu-!”

********

Crystal Tower Roof

Blackguard looked through the scope of his rifle, paying no heed to the crippled airship, which was beginning to lose altitude, slowly spiraling down.

He set his sights on a juicy target. Captain Sunshine of the Night-Guard. He had missed once. He would not miss again.

Just as he began to squeeze the trigger, a massive explosion rocked the Tower. The fireball shot up and lit up the night as Blackguard felt the crystal beneath him give way. He scrambled backwards, missing his shot and losing his rifle in the process.

The many pieces of debris fell down to the ground below, scattering the ponies that gathered there. The airship rocked as a large piece hit in on the way by. The assault vehicle fell quickly, crashing into a heap on the ground, but thankfully, not exploding or folding completely.

Blackguard slowly got to his hooves and looked over the edge of the roof, the destruction below looking strangely pretty with so many shards of crystal among it.

*******

Base of Crystal Tower

8:20 PM

Sunshine slowly eased her head up over the partially destroyed barricade, a hoof over Blind Justice in an almost protective manner.

The pegasus mutely surveyed the damage, but eventually found her voice.

“Sweet fucking Celestia.” she said quietly.

Demands

Crystal Tower Office

8:22 PM

Juno took deep, ragged breaths. “Theo,” she said into her radio. “What the buck was that?”

“I’m, um, not quite sure.” the unicorn said sheepishly.

“Hazard a guess.”

“Well, it would appear as though Lock and Load, uh, blew up.”

“I can see that. Why, is the question of the day.”

“Let me check the internal cameras.” there was some clicking on the other end of the line and Juno turned her attention to the crystal screen.

“There they are.” Theo said as a window popped up. The video showed Lock and Load loading their weapons and then the pair of them looking down at the floor between them. There was a bright flash as the video cut.

“Grenades.” Juno growled.

“It would appear so.”

“Who threw them?”

There was more clicking and a different video popped up. It showed the hallway where Lock and Load had fired on the airship from. The two stallions were at the end of the hallway, working on their weapons. Juno watched the video closely, and her eyes widened when she saw a head pop out from a vent in the wall. Small and black, it looked like-

“The nanny.” Juno said softly. And then she was suddenly shouting. “The fucking nanny!” she squeezed the radio so hard it started to crack. “Theo, where the buck is Two Guns?”

“I, uh, can’t find him…” the tech said sheepishly.

“That’s because he’s dead! Probably the one that took the dive out the window!” Juno growled and pulled her pistol from within her coat.

Cadance and Chrysalis gulped in unison and exchanged a fearful glance before closing their eyes. Juno snarled and turned her attention on them. But before she could so much as raise the gun, Masque was suddenly by her side. The unicorn gently but firmly grabbed her hoof.

“Nous sommes à proximité, chère, et ils sont encore utiles.” Masque.

Juno gazed into Masque’s eyes for a moment before sighing and nodding, visibly appearing to relax. “Vous avez raison.” she put the gun back into her coat and picked up her radio again. “Theo, patch me into the building’s external speakers. And then tell Blackguard he’s got a new job.”

*******

Base of Crystal Tower

8:26 PM

Sunshine grunted as she pushed a particularly large chunk of crystal out of the way. She looked over the damage and sighed. The whole op had turned to shit and they hadn’t even gained a single foot of ground.

Suddenly, the speakers on the outside of the building gave off a loud whine.

“Attention police.” a female voice with a Trottigham accent said. “There will be a ten minute cease fire. You may collect your dead and wounded. But those doing the collecting must be unarmed. If any of us see the glint of a weapon, we will open fire. Do not test me on this. I also hope that we now understand each other. We will contact you soon with demands.”

The voice clicked off and most of the ponies looked to Sunshine.

“You heard her, pull them back!” the pegasus shouted at the assembled ponies.

They nodded and all began making their way towards the front of the building, where most of Alpha team lay writhing in pain. Although one or two simply laid there.

Sunshine approached a group of mechanics. “Can you get that thing in the air again?” she jerked her head at the stricken airship, which had come to a rough yet stable landing near the edge of the staging area.

One of the mechanics, an earth pony, ran a hoof through her mane. “We can maybe get it flying, but we can’t repair the weapons systems. Not here anyway.”

Sunshine just nodded. “It’ll do, go on.”

The mechanics nodded and scampered off. Sunshine made her way through the staging area, nodding to Blind Justice as she passed him. The stallion had appropriated a rifle and was watching the building, making sure the terrorists held their end of the bargain.

Sunshine pushed away the flap of a command tent and entered. Inside was Robinsson, the pegasus holding his head in his hooves.

“Commander?”

“I’m dead.” he said. “I finally get a break in my career and I screw it six ways. I might as well pick up a rifle and join in the next charge.”

“That might not be a bad idea.”

Robinsson looked up.

“Listen, the ponies out there are looking at me right now. They don’t trust you and they certainly don’t like you. I don’t like you either. But if you want to get through this with a shred of dignity and maybe not be hit by ‘friendly’ the next time bullets start flying, you had better show the troops their lives actually mean something. So yes, grab a rifle and report.”

Robinsson blinked a few times and nodded. “Yes, sir.” he said soberly. “Is there anything else I can do?”

Sunshine nodded. “Get on the horn with High Command and get me everything you can. When this is over, I want that bitch to be a red smear on the ground.”

*******

Crystal Tower Office

8:36 PM

“Guard them.” Juno said to the pair of stallions in the room as she left with Masque.

“So, what do we do now?” Masque asked her as they walked through the halls.

“We go and have a chat with Theo.” Juno answered as she boarded the elevator.

“Vault and Computer Room.” the ever so helpful automated voice informed them as the elevator stopped.

Juno led Masque through the maze of crystal computer banks until they found Theo’s workstation at the computer interface. The spot was strangely empty.

“Theo, my dear, where are you?” Juno called out in a sing song voice.”

“Where do you think?” he answered from somewhere farther back in the room. “Ma’am.” he added quickly.

Juno smiled and made her way towards the tech, Masque following on her heels. They found the unicorn crouched over some sort of drill machine, working on it. The contraption was pointed at a large vault.

Masque stared. “Juno, chère, what is that?”

“Oh, this?” Juno grinned. “This is the third most secure vault in the world.” she tapped the thick crystal door. “A fusion of old magic and new technology, the Vault of Crystals is an exemplar of security. Which is precisely why it currently houses bonds worth over six hundred million bits.” Juno just smiled broadly. “And they are ours for the taking.”

“If we can get in, that is.” Theo grumbled.

Juno just smiled at him. “Oh Theo, it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve. Anything is possible.”

Masque just stared. “Chère, is this what all of this was for? A robbery?”

Juno just smiled at Masque. “Darling, please don’t make it sound so petty.”

“But… but I thought all this was so we could hack into the Canterlot servers.”

“Oh we’re still doing that. This is just a fallback.” Juno pulled Masque close. “Listen dear, don’t worry about anything. I have everything planned out. Sure, I got a little overzealous and a tad mad, but I am calm and collect now. And by this time next week, we’ll all be sitting on a beach in Prance, sipping peach juice, and earning twenty percent.”

Masque smiled and nuzzled noses with Juno. “That does sound nice.”

Juno grinned.

*******

Crystal Tower Ventilation System

8:51 PM

Truth made her way through the quietly as a mouse. Which is to say not very quietly. I mean, have you ever heard a mouse? Bastards are noisy. The changeling huffed as she pulled herself through a particularly tight opening.

She reached back through the opening and carefully pulled Lovebug out with her. Truth cradled the foal close as she looked around. She was in a hallway that was empty for the moment, but that might change at anytime.

Picking a direction at random, Truth began walking. She suddenly heard voices as shadows were thrown on the wall from around a corner. Stopping herself short, Truth turned to go the other way, only to run right into a stallion far larger than she.

“Well hello miss. You lost?” Blackguard sneered.

Truth gulped nervously. “Eh, no speaksei equestrian?”

“Nice try.”

“Aw buck.”

*******

Crystal Tower Office

9:00 PM

“Aw look, the gang is all here.” Juno said jovially as Blackguard marched Truth into the room. The changeling was carrying Lovebug.

“Truth!” Cadance cried.

“Lovebug!” Chrysalis exclaimed.

“Quiet!” Juno shouted, eliciting silence. The pegasus nodded to the two soldiers standing by the wall. “Gag all of them.” she picked up the radio. “I’m about to make a phone call.”

******

Base of Crystal Tower

“Attention Police!” the voice from before said urgently, drawing Sunshine’s attention. “Attention Police!”

The pegasus quickly grabbed a radio and activated it. “This is Captain Sunshine of the Night-Guards. Who am I speaking to?”

“This is Juno Eclipse, formerly of the Night-Guard. I have a list of demands.”

“Let’s hear them.”

“In Canterlot, there are five agents of the Hive Heralds. In Zebrafrica, there are four members of the Stripes Forever. In Trottingham, there are six members of the Unicorns United….

*******

Crystal Tower Office

“…In Prance, three agents of the Prance Perfectionaires.” Juno listed off.

Blackguard shot her a look.

Juno stopped transmitting for a moment. “I read about them in Manes Monthly.” she grinned and started transmitting again. “And here in the Crytsal Empire there are five former Night-Guards, our own brothers and sisters. When these revolutionaries are freed I will release fifteen of the hostages.”

“What if I can’t deliver?” Sunshine asked.

“Captain, I have faith in you. But my faith will only last two hours. After that, the next body that falls out of the building will be a member of the royal family.”

There was a pause. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“I suggest you work quickly, captain. I have over thirty hostages and I only promised you fifteen. If you try another assault, for every pony I lose I will do my best to kill one of yours as well as a hostage. Do you understand?”

“I do.”

“Then don’t test me.” Juno clicked off the radio.

“Do you even think they’ll try?” Blackguard mused.

Juno snorted. “It doesn’t matter. I made half those up anyway.”

Blackguard jerked his head at Cadance, Chrysalis, and Truth, each of whom were near choking on the gags in their mouths. “What about them?”

Juno fished a peach from her pocket and took a bite before answering. “Who the buck are they going to tell?” she said through her mouthful of peach.

Blackguard eyed them suspiciously. “How long until Shining reaches Canterlot?”

“Less than an ‘our.” Masque answered.

“And then it’s less than twelve minutes to the Night-Guard sever room where he will dutifully carry our package. And then,” Juno pulled a detonator from her coat. “Boom.”

Cadance’s eyes widened and she put up a struggle like a trapped animal against her bonds.

Juno glanced at her as if she was a mild annoyance. “What? Don’t tell me you actually still care about him.” the pegasus chuckled and took another bit of her peach.

Author's Note

Here's a breather chapter after Hell Fire.
Now, if all goes according to plan, which it won't, the next chapter will be called Coltmando.

See ya then.

Coltmando

Base of Crystal Tower

9:30 PM

“Captain Sunshine?” an earth pony guard said as he approached.

The pegasus held up a hoof. “No, she said ‘Prance Perfectionaires’.” she said into the mike of the headset she was hearing. She paused as she listened to the pony at the other end of the line. “I don’t know how she spells it. Listen, just contact everypony you know that has any connections to Prance and eventually you’ll find one that knows something. …No, I cannot share the details right now. …Yes I do realize this is a headache for you, but this is a giant thorn in my plot for me. …Listen, I’m likely going to have around thirty dead ponies in less than two hours if you don’t start making calls. …Honey, I know it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve, so believe me when I say I will personally come down there and shove a candy cane so far up your-!”

“Captain?” Robinsson said.

Sunshine covered the mike. “What?” she hissed.

“May I take a crack at getting you some cooperation? I do deal with these kinds of ponies often.”

Sunshine sighed and took off the head set. “Yes, commander, I do think you’d be a better choice.”

“It’s just Robinsson.” the pegasus offered a weak smile.

Sunshine nodded and hoofed over the headset. She turned and walked away as Robinsson began speaking with pony at the other end of the line.

“Listen, I could have your job on a silver platter right now if I wanted to, so why don’t you start playing ball?” he growled as Sunshine moved out of earshot.

“Yes?” she asked the guard that had tried to get her attention earlier.

“We have a prisoner, ma’am.” the guard shoved a white unicorn forward. “He was trying to get into the weapons carriage.”

Sunshine looked at the unicorn closely and then her eyes widened. “You idiots!” she shouted at the guard, who took a step back. “Don’t you know who this is?”

The guard glanced around nervously. “Uh…”

Sunshine sighed. “It’s Shining Armor, you foal!”

The guard gaped. Sunshine shook her head and pushed past him. She quickly began freeing Shining, starting with the metal muzzle some kinky nut had seen fit to put over his mouth. Shining sighed in relief as the muzzle came away and rubbed his wrists as Sunshine removed the cuffs.

“I’m very sorry for this, Captain Armor.” Sunshine said. “But everypony here is on edge, so I can understand this.” she glared at the guard. “But I’m still going to punish you later. And not in the good way.”

The guard gulped.

“It’s fine.” Shining said. “What time is it?”

Sunshine glanced at her watch, which she had only recently gotten. “About Nine Thirty. Why?”

Shining looked up at the Tower. “Because right now those assholes think I’m on a train bound for Canterlot. It is supposed to arrive at Ten. That means in half an hour, they’ll know I’m not on the train and they will kill my family.” Shining looked pointedly at Sunshine. “I can’t let that happen and I can’t get to Canterlot in half an hour. So the only option is to kill them back first.”

Sunshine sighed. “I understand, Captain. But I can’t let you go near that building. They said that they will shoot if they see a pony with a weapon come anywhere close and if we shoot back, they’ll start killing hostages. I’m sorry, but you can’t go in.”

Shining’s face became a grim mask as he stared at the Tower. “You’re wrong.” he said.

“How so?”

“It’s not that I can’t go in.” he looked back at Sunshine. “I just can’t let them see me.”

Sunshine’s eyes widened for a moment and she suddenly grinned. “I like you more by the second, Captain Armor.”

*******

Crystal Tower Office

9:40 PM

“Say that again. Slowly.” Juno said into the radio, sounding none too happy.

“We have to shut off the power grid.” Sunshine said over the radio.

“And why is that, exactly?”

“Our techs say that a few cables got nicked in the fight earlier. They can’t fix them while the power is on and if they don’t get fixed there will be a surge and everything hooked up to the power will be overloaded.”

“Which means what exactly?”

“It means every light bulb and monitor in that place is going to go off like a firecracker. I don’t think you want that to happen.”

Juno growled. “If this is a trick…”

“There’s no trick. The Tower has emergency lighting, so you’ll only be in the dark for a few seconds.”

Juno snorted. “Fine, captain, but let’s be clear. This is my show. When I say jump, you jump. When I say run, you run. And when I say do something, you had better do it. Or ponies start dying. That is how this shit works.”

“I understand. We’re working on it.”

“You’d better be.” Juno clicked off the radio. And then after a thought, clicked it back on. “Theo, did you get that?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You got the computer system on back up power?”

“Set it up ages ago.”

“Good boy.” Juno sighed and stood up. “You know what?” she said to the ensemble. “I’m tired of playing games and we’re going to be out of here soon anyway.” she placed a hoof on her flank, right at the edge of her cradle cutie mark, and pulled.

There was the sound of tape coming off and taking a good amount of fur with it and Juno yelped sharply. The pegasus tossed aside the covering that bore the cradle and everypony got a good look at her actual cutie mark.

It was a peach.

Masque whistled lowly and Blackguard chuckled. Cadance, Chrysalis, and Truth just exchanged glances.

With a happy sigh, Juno sunk back into the chair as she pulled yet another peach from her pocket. “Oh, that feels so much better to get that out in the open.”

******

Base of Crystal Tower

“Did they buy it?” Shining asked.

Sunshine set the radio down. “They weren’t happy, but yes, they bought it.”

Shining nodded. “Good.”

Off to the side, Robinsson was still shouting into a radio mike. “Listen, I don’t care about lay lines. I don’t give two shits about the wattage wash back. You lose a few bits because a gauge was thrown off, so what? Either you lose the grid, or you lose your job. …Yeah, I thought so.” the pegasus turned and nodded to Sunshine. “Ten minutes!” he called.

Sunshine nodded and then turned to Shining. “Okay Captain Armor, let’s get you, er, armored up.”

Shining nodded, a small grin pulling his lips. “Okay, let’s show them how this shit really works.”

******

Crystal Tower Office

9:45 PM

“I have to pee.” Chrysalis suddenly declared.

Blackguard snorted the punch he was drinking. Not intentionally.

“Come again?” Juno said.

“I have to pee.” Chrysalis said slowly, enunciating every syllable.

“Hold it.”

“I have been.”

Juno sighed exasperatedly. “Then hold it a little longer.”

“I can’t!”

Juno groaned.

“Juno,” Cadance spoke up. “These seats weren’t cheap and they’re the best in the house. Unless you want this place smelling like changeling urine, which you do not, let her go.”

Juno groaned again. “Fine. Masque, you, Hans, and Poker here take her to the bathroom. And for Celestia’s sake, watch her.”

Masque nodded to the two stallions and they all got up from their seats. Masque roughly pulled Chrysalis up from her seat and shoved her forward. The former queen snarled softly, but she walked forward without further complaint. Masque and the two hench-ponies followed her out.

Juno sighed and rubbed her eyes. “I can’t believe the shit I’ve had to put up with during this op.”

Blackguard rolled his eyes. “Please, you’ve never had to deal with drugged griffons in a back alley with nothing but a stick and a box of noodles.”

Juno looked at Blackguard. “What?”

The unicorn just grinned.

“I can’t wait until Shining gets here and puts a hoof through your face.” Cadance growled at Blackguard.

He just grinned nastily. “Me neither, honey.”

********

Crystal Tower Bathrooms

Chrysalis walked into the bathroom, followed closely by Masque. The two stallions tried to follow, but Masque stopped them.

“Stay back, perverts.” Masque said with a giggle as she closed and locked the door on them. “So,” she said as she walked up behind Chrysalis. “Need a little help with those ropes?”

The bound changeling just glared at the unicorn over her shoulder.

Masque chuckled and undid the knots, rolling up the rope and setting it on the counter. Chrysalis rubbed her arms and quickly went into one of the stalls, securing the door behind her.

“We can talk, if you want.” Masque said as she leaned back against the counter.

Chrysalis stayed silent.

“You know, being you wasn’t too bad. I’m kind of sad I could not be you longer. I would have very much enjoyed showing Cadance a good time.” Masque laughed.

Chrysalis growled. Masque laughed again.

And suddenly the room was plunged into darkness.

Chrysalis came out of the stall at a run, slamming into Masque. She threw a hoof, knocking the unicorn’s head to the side. Masque returned with a hook of her own, knocking Chrysalis back. Masque cast a quick illumination spell, finding Chrysalis and putting a hoof in her gut.

Chrysalis grunted as the air was driven from her lungs. Masque was on her in an instant, forelegs locking around the changeling’s neck.

“And I wanted us to just have a nice chat.” Masque hissed.

********

Base of Crystal Tower

9:50 PM

Shining didn’t imagine he would get used to flying in the dark. Flying he could handle. Flying under another pony’s power without being able to see where he was going was not a pleasant experience.

“Ready, Captain?” Sunshine whispered in his ear.

“Ready.”

She released him. He was falling for a brief second before he went through a large window with a resounding crash. A quick shield spell, uh, shielded him from the glass shards.

Shining tucked and rolled into the darkened hallway, jumping to his hooves as soon as he was able to. A pair of flashlights lit up the hallway was two hench-ponies came running up.

“Hey! What the buck are you doing?!” shouted one.

Shining pulled the knife from his belt and tackled the speaker, shoving the blade into his throat.

“Holy sh-!” was as far as his companion got before Shining slashed his throat as well.

Shining searched the bodies as quickly as he could, appropriating the ponies assault rifles and ammo.

“I’m in.” he said into his radio. “You got the package in place?”

“Of course.” Sunshine answered, “Good luck, Captain Armor.”

“Same to you.”

*******

Crystal Tower Office

9:52 PM

“Finally.” Juno groaned as the lights came back on. They weren’t as bright as before, but that hardly mattered.

Her two hench-ponies returned a minute later, flanking Masque as she entered carrying Chrysalis. The unicorn unceremoniously dumped the changeling on the floor.

“Chryssi!” Cadance cried.

Juno stared at the changeling. “Damnit Masque, what the buck happened?”

“Bitch attacked me!” Masque spat.

“Well what, did you kill her?”

“No, she’s just unconscious.”

“Chryssi!” Cadance shouted again. Truth held Lovebug closer.

“Oh shut up!” Juno shouted. Her radio buzzed. “What?” she demanded into it.

“You’re never going to believe this, boss.” Theo said excitedly. “The vault was set on a failsafe if power grid went out. It’s open! We’re in!”

Juno suddenly grinned broadly. “Yes!” she said happily. “You hear that? we’re in!”

Blackguard and the two hench-ponies grinned. Masque looked less than enthusiastic.

“Oh cheer up dear.” Juno laughed. “We’re rich!”

Masque forced a grin.

“That’s the spirit!”

“Hey boss.” Theo was speaking again. “I’m also all set for the spike. As soon as that package goes off, I’ll hit their network and we can download all the finances in less than half an hour.”

“Wonderful!” Juno said jovially.

Cadance just stared. “Are you serious? Our vault? Financial data? All this was a fucking robbery?!”

Juno just smiled. “Yep. And we do appreciate your cooperation.”

“Oh fuck this.” Masque said suddenly. She grabbed Hans, wrapping a foreleg around his neck, and brought him close, she turned him towards Poker as she pulled the pistol from his belt. The stallion yelped and brought up his gun as Masque fired three shots into his torso. The stallion cried out and accidentally fired his own gun, killing Hans as he went down.

“What the-!” Juno cried as Masque dropped the body and turned the pistol on her.

Blackguard suddenly struck out, hitting Masque in the jaw and sending her into Cadance’s lap.

Truth jumped up and bolted, racing out the door.

“Get the nanny!” Juno roared at Blackguard who bolted after Truth.

Turning her attention back on Masque, she saw her beloved’s body suddenly twist and become that of Chrysalis, while the Chrysalis on the floor became Masque.

“What!?”

“Changelings can make others appear different too.” Cadance sneered.

Juno opened her mouth to say something else, but she just yelped as Chrysalis brought up the pistol and Juno dived behind the desk as the changeling fired. The pegasus shoved her own gun over the top of the desk, blind firing. Chrysalis pulled Cadance down to avoid the bullets.

Chrysalis pulled the knot holding the ropes binding Cadance apart and pulled the alicorn back out of the office as she fired at random at the desk. Juno pulled her hoof back as the bullets bit craters and furrows in the desk.

Suddenly Juno’s crystal ball beeped. Pulling it out of her coat she tapped it and yelled, “WHAT?!”

“Armor and Weasel aren’t here, boss.” the voice on the other end of the line shouted.

Juno said nothing. She just began breathing rapidly.

“Boss?”

Juno ended the call and tapped the crystal contraption a few times. It made a sound and she raised it up level with her face. “Weasel! Answer me!” she roared into it.

“Weasel’s dead, Juno.” Shining’s voice said from the other side of the line. “And I’ve got your package. I’m on my way to turn it over to the Guard. It’s over Juno, give up now and we can end this with everypony still breathing.”

Juno took ragged breaths as she tried to speak. Finally, through the rage and fear, she found her voice. “No. This can’t end now. It’s too soon. I can’t just walk away now. And don’t give me some shit about a trial. After what’s happened, I’ll just disappear. I’ll vanish and never be heard from again. No, I will not give up.”

“Then go to Tartarus.”

Juno gave a humorless laugh and reached into her coat pocket, extracting the detonator. “Come with me.” she said as she pressed it.

“Message for you, sir!” she heard an automated voice with a Trottingham accent called out.

The smile vanished from Juno’s face. “Oh fuc-”

********

Base of Crystal Tower

The massive explosion caused by the package’s detonation tore the whole front entrance to shreds, even crumbling the section of crystal between the first and second floors. The whole building was rocked by the force of the blast, windows shattering and glass raining down. A cry of war went up from the ensemble forces.

“How do you like how that shit works?” Sunshine shouted through the microphone she had appropriated. “Let’s rock fillies and colts!” she shouted to her forces.

“Hoo-rah!” they shouted in unison, all save for Robinsson. Even though he had indeed picked up a rifle and joined the ranks of the grunts, he didn’t feel as though he deserved to join in their war cry.

As a wave of bodies, the assembled charged forward, those that could fly taking to the air to enter through the windows.

The Battle of Crystal Tower had truly begun.

*******

Crystal Tower

Shining charged down the halls, stumbling slightly as the explosion rocked the building. He quickly regained his hoofing and kept going forward. As he rounded a corner, a hench-pony spotted him and opened fire with a yell. Shining dove back behind corner and returned fire blindly.

After a moment, he dared to peek his head out and saw he had hit the stallion. Shining rounded the corner again and charged down the hallway again.

As he passed a turn off, a zebra suddenly leapt at him wielding a machete. Shining managed to block the overhead chop with his borrowed rifle, but the well-crafted blade bit deeply into the gun, rendering it useless.

Well, useless as a gun.

Shining snapped the weakened rifle in half and swung both ends as clubs. The zebra cried out in pain as the gun pieces hit his sides. Shining pulled both improvised clubs back and jabbed both into the zebra’s midsection. The zebra doubled over and Shining dropped the gun pieces. He wrapped a foreleg around the zebra’s neck and twisted and jerked, snapping his neck.

Shining was running before the body settled on the floor. In the next hallway, he actually ran right into the first of two stallions, both toting shotguns.

He grabbed one he ran into and used him as a shield. His buddy panicked and fired, killing the first stallion and driving the breath from Shining’s lungs. He grabbed shotgun from the dead stallion’s grasp and raised it up in a single hoof. The blast knocked the second stallion to the ground.

Shining dropped his dead shield and snatched up the second shotgun as he ran past the second body.

He pushed through a pair of double doors into a large two level room. A set of stairs on his left led up to the balcony on the second floor. To his right were several large silver tanks. And in between him and the stairs were several hench-ponies, as well as a few more scattered about. They were all talking and milling about. Only a few actually had weapons in their hooves.

All heads turned to him as he burst through the doors.

“Okay, I’m only going to say this once.” Shining said as he did a quick, double single hoof shotgun pump. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

The ponies scrambled for their guns.

Shining leapt into the air and pointed a shotgun either way, firing as he flew, putting two ponies down. He made his landing a roll and spun the shotguns upside down, cocking them using his forelegs and body as a grip.

He spun and threw himself backwards, firing again and bagging two more bad ponies. He scrambled backwards and onto the stairs, using the rungs as leverage for another pair of pumps.

Shining fired the shotgun in his right hoof back down the stairs as he ascended, hitting another pony. He then brought it up and against the one in his left hoof, firing and pumping both as one as he made his way up the stairs.

As he reached the balcony, the shotguns ran dry and Shining tossed them away. Luckily, the banister of the balcony was solid and he could duck behind it as the ponies still on the level below fired at him. He snatched up a sub-machine gun from a fallen hench-pony and took potshots at the ponies below.

Suddenly a voice shouted and the firing quieted down.

“Captain!” a voice that was somewhat familiar called out.

Shining dared poke his head up over the banister and saw a brown earth pony stallion standing in front of the silver tanks.

“Who are you?” Shining shouted down at him.

“Me?” The stallion said with a shrug. “I’m the cook.”

He pulled a RPG launcher from seemingly nowhere and took aim. Shining ducked down behind the banister as he fired. The rocket whooshed over the banister and exploded on the wall behind Shining, showering him with chunks of rock and crystal. The force of the blast shoved him hard into the floor. His armor protected him from any broken bones or squished internal organs, but was horribly damaged. Gasping for breath, Shining pulled off his now useless armor and tossed it away.

The rest of the hench-ponies opened fire on Shining after the rocket exploded. In desperation, Shining took a few grenades from his belt and threw them over the banister. He had to get the earth pony before he reloaded the RPG.

The grenades exploded and there were cries of death and pain from the ponies below. Shining snatched another SMG from the bodies nearby and popped up, firing both. The earth pony dropped his weapon and pulled a pair of pistols from somewhere. He fired while moving to the side along the wall. Shining fired back, but his shots missed their mark. Mostly anyway.

Shining dropped back down as his guns ran dry. He tossed them away and pulled a shotgun from another corpse. It was the last gun there.

“You missed me!” the earth pony shouted mockingly at Shining.

“Hey asshole! What’s in those tanks behind you?” Shining yelled back.

The earth pony and the few remaining hench-ponies turned to look at the tanks, which were all leaking from multiple bullet holes.

Propane

Highly Flammable

“Aw shit.” the earth pony muttered.

Shining pulled the pin on his last grenade and tossed it towards the tanks. He then scrambled to his hooves and bolted for the door. The ponies below were too busy running themselves to fire at him. He pushed through the door and slammed it behind him.

Taking a deep breath, Shining began stalking forward, not even flinching nor turning around as the room behind him exploded.

******

Crystal Tower

Blackguard perked up his ears as another explosion went off. For some reason, he felt a grin stretch his lips.

“Welcome back, Shining.” he said as he continued down the hallway, not too far behind the nanny and the foal.

******

Crystal Tower Office

Juno regained consciousness with a start and a gasp. She got up, ignoring the trickle of blood coming from her head. She coughed and sputtered on the dust filling the air. The window was shattered, letting cold air blow into the office as the broken light above flickered.

Juno stumbled forward out of the office and caught sight of Cadance and Chrysalis, similarly stumbling to their hooves. Coughing, Juno raised her hoof, only to discover she had dropped her gun. She bent down to search for it.

Coughing and sputtering as well, Cadance and Chrysalis shakily got to their hooves.

“Go, find Truth and Lovebug.” Chrysalis said to Cadance.

The alicorn seemed reluctant to go.

“Go!” Chrysalis ordered. “I’ll hold her off here, go!”

Cadance nodded once. “Fine, but if you die, I swear I’ll kill you.”

Chrysalis smiled. “I love you too. Now go!”

Cadance turned and sped off down the hallway, not looking back as she rushed to save her foal. Chrysalis watched her for a moment before looking forward and stalking down the hallway towards the office.

Juno suddenly threw herself out of the office, wings spreading as she used them to speed her way. She fired wildly at Chrysalis as she flew by, the changeling firing back just as wildly as she threw herself into the office. Both their bullets hit wall instead of flesh.

Chrysalis crashed into the office, landing heavily. She jumped to her hooves only to crash to the floor again as a suddenly awake Masque swung a vicious right hook into her face.

Chrysalis cried out in pain as she hit the floor, but she quickly brought the pistol to bear, determined to end this pony now. The gun clicked on empty.

Masque grinned nastily as she leapt at Chrysalis.

********

Crystal Tower

Juno coughed again as she activated her radio. “Theo! All Tartarus is breaking loose. Disable the elevators and barricade yourself in there. I’ll come get you just as soon as I take care of something.” she clicked off the radio before he could reply. Switching to another channel, she said, “Bennett, if you’re still alive hunt down that little shit nanny and kill her and the girl. Shining betrayed us, now he has to pay.”

“With pleasure.” Blackguard replied.

Juno just nodded to herself and tossed her radio away. She was following Cadance through the halls and up the stairs. She may not have have killed Masque and the Prench unicorn may not even be dead.

But Juno was going to kill her anyway.

*********

Crystal Tower Office

The thirty or so hostages cowered, huddling together in a stepped dip in the floor as their four armed minders argued.

“I don’t know what’s going on!” one shouted at two others. “The boss won’t answer!”

“All Tartarus is breaking loose and we’re stuck here guarding these fuckers? Let’s just go now!” another shouted.

“We need them! They’re insurance!” the first shouted.

“They’re a liability!” one on the two ponies standing close argued.

“Yeah!” his companion shouted. “I say we waste ‘em! Teach the fucking Royal Guard a lesson!” he cocked his rifle.

The large window that made up one wall of the room suddenly spider-webbed as several shots were fired at it. It shattered as a dark pegasus threw herself threw it. She had a sword clutched in one hoof.

She used her momentum to bring the sharp edge of blade cleanly through the neck of the pony that had just cocked his weapon. Still using her momentum, she spun and brought the sword stabbing through the other pony’s abdomen. Her back was to the third pony, but she shoved her pistol under her foreleg and fired three quick shots that put the stallion down.

She rose and pointed her pistol at the fourth and final pony.

“Drop it or you’re dead.” Sunshine ordered.

The stallion squeaked and dropped his gun as he damn near pissed himself in fright.

“Good boy.” Sunshine smiled. To the cowering and mute hostages she said, “Alright mares and gentlecolts, let’s move!”

******

Crystal Tower

“Hey, Shining, the hostages are secure, no sign of your family though.” Sunshine reported over the radio.

“Right.” Shining replied as he stalked the halls. He had entered the stairwell and was climbing higher, checking off floors as they were radioed in as secure.

At one double backing set of stairs, he managed to spot a hench-pony before the thug spotted him. He threw the shotgun to distract the stallion, which worked perfectly. The pony turned and fired a few pointless shots as Shining stepped out into view, fanning the hammer on the revolver as he brought it up on target.

The hench-pony cried out and pitched forward as the bullets struck him. He fell over the railing, screaming as all the way down to the ground floor. Shining tossed the revolver aside and picked the shotgun back up as he made his way up the stairs.

Reaching the last floor before the roof, Shining kicked down the door and checked for hostiles. Finding none in the drab corridor, he decided to risk a shout.

“Truth! Cadance! Chrysalis! Can you hear me?”

*******

Crystal Tower

Truth’s ears twitched as she heard Shining’s voice call out.

“Shining?” she said as though she didn’t really believe it. “Shining!” She cried happily as she came out of the alcove she had hidden in. Even little Lovebug, awake yet quiet in her forelegs, seemed to get the idea, cooing sweetly.

“Shining, I’m here! We’re here! Shining!” she shouted.

Suddenly a large form pressed against her from behind, a strong hoof clamping over her mouth.

“No, but I think he knows us both.” whispered Blackguard as he pressed a knife to her neck. “Now shut up and come on.”

*******

Crystal Tower

Shining’s ears twitched as he thought he heard Truth’s voice. “Truth?” he called. “Truth!”

He charged towards where he thought he had heard her voice, not taking the time to check around corners first. He past many pipes, wires, and whatnot. This was obviously the boiler room area… thing. Shining wasn’t really in the mood to memorize intimate details about his surroundings.

“Truth!” he called out just as he looked around a corner, exposing his back to the hallway opposite him.

There was the boom of a pistol and a bullet ripped through his right shoulder. There was a scream from Truth and Shining yelled in pain. He dropped the shotgun and managed to throw himself behind an errant pillar.

“Hey Shining.” Blackguard called out, sounding like he was having the time of his life. “How’s the foreleg?”

“Come on over and find out!” Shining called out.

“No, I’ll pass.” Blackguard grinned. “Hey Shining, tell you what. You stick your head out and I’ll put one right between your eyes. Quick, easy, and clean. For old time’s sake.”

“Fuck you, Bennett!” Shining shouted.

“Aw, now you’ve hurt my feelings, Shining. And I may just have to hurt your little friend here.” Blackguard laughed. “You know, it’s been awful for me ever since you kicked me out of your unit. I couldn’t get shit for work with that kind of black mark on my record. Well, not honest work.” he laughed again. “But you know what kept me going? The thought that someday I would get to pay you back for all the misery you put me through. And today is payday, Shining! Don’t ya just love Hearth’s Warming?” Blackguard laughed again.

Shining gasped in pain, trying to think. “You know, Bennett, you don’t want to shoot me.”

“No, I really think I do.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t want this quick, clean, and easy. You want this rough, dirty, and drawn out.” Shining got to his hooves with some difficulty. “You don’t want to shoot me. You want to put a knife in me. You want to make me suffer.”

On a gamble, Shining stepped out into the open “Come on, Bennett. Let the maid and the foal go and throw away that fucking gun.” he stared Blackguard in his crazed eyes. “Come on, Bennett. I’ve only got one good hoof now. You can beat me when I have only one hoof, surely.” Shining drew his knife from his belt. “Come on, Bennett. Let’s party.”

Blackguard looked at Shining as if he was crazy. He suddenly began laughing again. “Oh Shining, you always did have a way with words. And you know what? I think I agree with you. I don’t need the maid.” he roughly shoved Truth away. “I don’t need the gun.” he tossed his pistol away and out of sight. Blackguard drew his knife with relish.

“Oh, Shining Armor,” Blackguard drew a deep breath as he pulled a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and put them on. “I’m going to kill you now!”

******

Crystal Tower Office

Chrysalis braced herself, feeling Masque slam into her with enough force to carry them both back and into a wall. Masque slammed her elbow into the side of Chrysalis’s face, snapping her head to the side and causing her to cut the inside of her cheek on her fangs.

As soon as Chrysalis managed to bring her head back to the position it was originally in, Masque slammed another elbow into her face.

There were a few inches of space between Chrysalis’s head and the wall behind her. She leaned her head back and then slammed it forward. Her horn sparked as it brushed Masque’s and the unicorn was suddenly thrown backwards by a blast of energy.

Chrysalis wobbled and had to grab the wall to steady herself as Masque picked herself off the floor. The unicorn shook her head to clear it and then pulled out her butterfly knife.

Before she could open it, Chrysalis charged forward and slammed herself into the unicorn, causing her to drop the weapon. Masque roared and punched a hoof into Chrysalis’s gut, doubling her over. She tried to bring her elbow down on the changeling again, but Chrysalis managed to slip her head by to and deliver a sharp uppercut to Masque.

The unicorn’s head snapped backwards, and before she could recover Chrysalis swung her hoof around, hitting her in the jaw. The unicorn brought her head back around and spat blood before grabbing Chrysalis and throwing her onto the desk.

Grabbing her green hair, Masque slammed Chrysalis’s head into the desk twice before throwing her off of it. The changeling landed in a bloody heap behind the desk.

Spitting blood again, Masque bent to pick up her knife. “You know, after I kill you, I’ll make myself look like you again. Then I’ll slip away and nopony will even look twice at me.” she opened her butterfly knife with a few quick motions. “Maybe I’ll steal a kiss from Cadance while I’m at it.” she sneered.

Chrysalis growled and yanked open a drawer on Cadance’s desk.

“Au revoir, chienne!” Masque shouted as she rounded the desk.

Chrysalis brought up the gun that had been inside Cadance’s desk and fired three times in rapid succession. Masque jerked violently as each shot hit her body. She collapsed on the floor, wheezing.

Chrysalis got up and walked over to the unicorn. “You couldn’t pull me off anyway, bitch.” Chrysalis walked away, limping slightly, leaving the unicorn to bleed out.

*********

Crystal Tower

Shining braced himself as Blackguard slammed into him. He rolled with the force of the shoulder slam, managing to twist around and end up behind Blackguard. He slammed the hilt of his knife into the back of the unicorn’s neck, but that only seemed to stun him briefly.

Blackguard back-hoofed Shining, sending him reeling. The unicorn came slashing at him, but Shining managed to match him slash for slash, stopping the blade from biting his flesh.

Blackguard stabbed with his knife, trying to gut Shining, but the former captain of the guard barely managed to dodge the jabs. Blackguard then shoved Shining against a pillar, trying to put his knife through the unicorn’s eye.

Shining stopped the foreleg with his own, the spear-point of the knife just a few inches from his left eye. As Shining struggled to match Blackguard’s strength, the coal black unicorn suddenly pulled a switchblade from his pocket.

Shining’s eyes widened and he got his right hoof up to block Blackguard’s left, but the switchblade was inching towards his side with frightening speed.

“You’re getting old, Shining.” Blackguard sneered.

Shining responded by slamming his head into Blackguard’s nose.

The unicorn grunted in pain and stumbled back a step. Shining pressed his advantage and slashed a shallow wound on Blackguard’s right foreleg. He yelped in pain and dropped his knife.

Blackguard jabbed wildly and managed to stick Shining in the side with the switchblade. Shining grunted in pain and grabbed Blackguard’s mane. He jerked it to the side and the two went crashing through a door and over a guardrail, crashing to the ground a level below in some kind of boiler room.

Both groaned in pain on the ground.

“What the buck made you think that was a good idea?” Blackguard groaned.

“I don’t know.” Shining answered.

*******

Crystal Tower

Dwayne T Robinsson had never been in combat before. In all honesty, he barely qualified with any kind of weapon. Nevertheless, he soldiered on, yelling and firing wildly at any terrorists he came across. He hadn’t hit one as far as he knew, but he had scared the piss out of them, and that was enough to make them easy picking for the others.

He had ascended the stairs and now found himself in what he could only describe as the boiler room floor. It was strange that this place was so close to the roof.

He made his way through the narrow halls until he heard the grunts of fighting ahead. He hesitated for a moment, but mentally slapped himself and charged forward.

When he arrived at the scene of the fight, he saw no fight. All he saw was a knife laying on the ground, an open door, and a frightened changeling clutching a foal huddling in the corner.

“Miss, are you okay?” he said as he knelt by her side. A few hours ago ho would have balked at the idea of being this close to a changeling. But A-few-hours-ago Robinsson wasn’t scared out of his mind, so fuck him.

“I’m… I’m okay.” she took a deep breath, “Who are you?”

“I’m… er, Robinsson. Just Robinsson.”

“Are you in contact with the police forces?”

He nodded.

“Prove it.”

Robinsson pulled the radio from his belt and clicked it on. “Captain Sunshine, can you vouch for me to a civilian?”

“It’s okay, he’s with us.” Sunshine’s voice said over the radio.

Truth nodded. “Okay Robinsson. I’m Truth and I need you-”

A shot suddenly rang out.

Robinsson grunted in pain, falling forward as he felt a bullet slam into his shoulder. His armor protected him from penetration, but the force still caused him to pitch forward and lose hold of his gun. Truth cried out as she saw Reuben walk up, looking blackened and holding a pistol. A RPG launcher was slung over his back.

“Hello sweetheart.” he sneered as he came forward and grabbed her.

Robinsson pushed himself onto his back and reached for his gun, before deciding playing dead would be a better choice. He allowed himself to go limp.

Truth cried out and quickly passed the now bawling Lovebug to Robinsson, who she could tell was faking.

“You’re coming with me.” Reuben growled. He pointed the pistol at Lovebug. “Or… well, I’m sure you can imagine.”

Truth stopped struggling. “Fine. But drop the gun.”

Reuben sneered and tossed the pistol aside. But as insurance, he crushed Robinsson’s radio underhoof. He then pulled Truth close and all but dragged her to the stairwell. They ascended the stairs and Reuben bucked open the door to the roof.

The roof was cold and a light snow was beginning to fall. Reuben roughly shoved Truth forward and out onto the platform in the middle of the roof.

“What now?” she demanded as he approached her.

He unsung his RPG and gently placed it on the rooftop. “Now we get ready to fly.” he grinned as he pressed close to her.

“I can’t believe I had drunk sex with an asshole like you, Reuben.” Truth snarled.

“What the hell did I do?” Reuben said as he stepped out onto the roof.

Truth blinked and looked between the pony next to her and the pony that had just arrived. They were exactly the same.

“What?” Truth said, confused.

“Oh, hi Truth.” Reuben waved with a sub sandwich he was carrying.

“What?”

“Hey, jerkass.” Sandwich Reuben said to RPG Reuben. “Let the lady go.”

“What the buck is going on?” Truth demanded.

“Changeling.” Sandwich Reuben said simply.

The other Reuben rolled his eyes and in a flash of green was black and chitinous. “Oh no, you’ve found me out.” he said mockingly.

“Who the buck are you ponies!?” Truth shouted.

“I’m Reuben.” Rueben said. “And this asshole knocked me out earlier and locked me in the meat freezer. So when I got out, I followed the smell of burning changeling.”

The changeling rolled his eyes. “Whatever, you are a wonderful tracker. Congrats. But do you really think you can stand up to the might of Conicer?”

“Who?” Reuben asked.

“Me!” Conicer hissed.

“Oh.” Reuben shrugged. “Listen, just let the lady go and you can fly off to wherever.” he gestured pointedly with the sandwich.

Conicer sneered. “Or what? You going to-”

He was cut off as a loud bang issued from the sandwich and Conicer was thrown backwards and off the platform.

Truth just stared. “Did you just shoot him with a sandwich!?”

Reuben blinked at her. “What? No.” he pulled a shotgun from within the sandwich. “I shot him with the gun I had inside the sandwich.”

Truth just shook her head. “Let’s just get out of here.”

*******

Crystal Tower

Robinsson shakily got to his hooves; fairly certain he had cracked a rib or something. He cradled the white foal close to his chest, loosely holding his gun with his other hoof.

His ears twitched as he detected a voice carrying down the halls.

“Truth! Truth! Can you hear me?” the voice called.

Judging by the tone of voice, the mare calling out either was a good actor or was genuinely concerned for the changeling. Robinsson dared to answer.

“Here! Come here quick!” he called.

The sound of running hooves herald the arrival of a pink pegasus. No wait, she was a unicorn. Wait, she was… both?

“Princess Cadenza?” Robinsson said in disbelief as the pink alicorn ran up, only to stop a few feet away.

“You’re not Truth.” she said as she warily approached. She then caught sight of the foal. “Lovebug!” she cried. She leapt the rest of the distance and Robinsson gently turned over the foal.

Cadance grabbed the foal and hugged her close, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Thank you! Thank you!” she cried happily, embracing him.

Robinsson blushed and awkwardly patted her on the back. “Uh, er, no problem ma’am.”

Cadance backed off. “Where’s Truth?” she asked.

“A stallion took her up to the roof. They’re probably-” Robinsson was cut off as a crazed female voice with a Trottingham accent called down the halls.

“Oh, Princess!” Juno called down the halls in a sing-song voice, laughing manically. “I’m coming for you, Princess!”

Robinsson stepped in between Cadance and the direction the voice was coming from. “Go.” he said as he aimed down the hall.

“But-” Cadance started.

“Go! I’ll be fine!” Robinsson shouted over his shoulder.

Cadance hesitated and then nodded once. “Thank you.” she whispered and she turned and fled.

Robinsson’s grip tightened on his gun and sweat beaded down his forehead. He didn’t know who was coming, but that voice sure did scare the shit out of him.

*********

Crystal Tower Boiler Room

Shining and Blackguard got to their hooves and exchanged glances before each scrambled to grab a weapon. Shining managed to get a pipe while Blackguard came up with a length of chain.

Blackguard swung the chain, the end wrapping around the pipe. A sharp jerk tore the pipe from Shining’s grip and a sharp punch snapped his head back.

Blackguard grinned and swung the chain low, trying to trip up Shining, but the white unicorn leapt over it. Shining shoved Blackguard back and the unicorn hit a wood burner that was used to heat water.

Blackguard rebounded and punched Shining in the jaw, knocking the former guard captain to the ground. Shining quickly swept Blackguard hooves out from under him before the unicorn could start stomping him.

Blackguard landed heavily but quickly rolled away. He snatched up the pipe Shining had grabbed earlier and came at the unicorn swinging.

*********

Crystal Tower

Robinsson fired off a burst from his gun when he thought he saw a flicker of movement around the corner. He heard a groan and lowered his gun in surprise. Had he actually -

A pistol was shoved around the corner and the first shot hit him squarely in the chest. Robinsson jerked as a pink pegasus came around the corner, pistol clutched in one hoof, firing as she stalked forward.

Robinsson’s body jerked as the pistol bullets impacted his body. Most thankfully hit his armor, but one went through his thigh and dropped him to a knee. The next shot knocked him down.

He gasped and jerked. His ribs were definitely broken now and he could feel warm blood soaking his fur. The pink pegasus stopped firing after he fell over. She walked past him and scoffed as his bleeding form.

**********

Crystal Tower Rooftop

Cadance threw herself through the door to the roof and slammed it shut behind her. She tried for a moment to seal it with magic, but her horn glowed for just a moment before popping and fizzling out again.

She held Lovebug close as she simply ran forward and ascended the stairs to the raised platform in the middle of the roof. She noticed a rocket launcher of some sort laying on the platform, but that barely registered.

Cadance spread her wings. She didn’t want to abandon Truth, or Chrysalis, or Shining, but she had to protect Lovebug. Hopefully there was somepony on the ground that could take care of her daughter while she came back up and searched for the rest of her family.

The hesitation before taking flight cost her dearly. Three loud bangs rang out as three bullets ripped through the thin metal of the door to the roof. Juno kicked the door open and leapt at Cadance, howling like a mad pony.

Cadance grunted as Juno crashed into her. She tucked Lovebug close to her chest as she rolled with the force of the impact. She however lost her grip on the foal as she came to a stop. The bundle of blankets and foal rolled a few feet away, Lovebug bawling once again.

Cadance reached out with a hoof towards her foal, even though she was out of reach. Cadance then cried out in pain as Juno’s hoof came crashing down on her foreleg.

“You stupid fucking bitch!” Juno roared as she shoved her gun down and Cadance’s face and pulled the trigger.

The dull click was almost mocking.

Juno stared at her gun and then laughed crazily as she began reloading. “You know, it’s really funny, Princess.” Juno said. “This all could have been so easy and so simple. But no. No you and your husband and your changeling and your fucking nanny. You all had to fuck everything up. Well I still get the last laugh! After I kill you I’m going to fly down, raid your vault, and then I’m going to fly away. And from a distance I could easily pass for you.”

Juno then tilted her head at Lovebug’s cries. She glanced at the foal and her lips stretched back into an evil grin. “You know what, I was hasty to try and kill the foal earlier. In fact, I think I’ve grown attached! So maybe I’ll take her with me, raise her as my own.” she looked down at Cadance and laughed as she finished reloading her gun. “Any last words, Princess?”

Cadance looked over and saw the RPG launcher laying just out of reach.

“Just two.” she said as her horn lit up.

Juno scoffed, but suddenly, the RPG was wrapped in a teal magical aura and shot into Cadance’s hooves. She shoved the cone head of the rocket into Juno stomach as she clicked the weapon’s safety off.

Juno had enough time to grunt and widen her eyes.

“You’re fired.” Cadance said just before she fired the weapon.

Juno screamed as the rocket penetrated her body and carried her up into the air. She flew high above the Tower and exploded quite spectacularly with the rocket, the blast cutting off her cry.

Cadance let the RPG launcher fall from her hooves a she stared grimly at the rapidly dissipating black cloud.

A cry pulled her eyes away and she scrambled to her hooves. She levitated Lovebug back into her hooves and nuzzled the foal, who quickly quieted down. It was strange, she only did that with herself, Chrysalis, Truth and…

And Shining.

“Cadance!”

Cadance turned to see Truth and an earth pony come running up. Cadance remembered what the pony below had said, but Truth saw her look and shook her head.

“It’s okay, Cadance, er, princess.” Truth said. “He’s with us.”

The earth pony waved awkwardly.

“Aren’t you the cook?” Cadance asked.

“Uh, no ma’am. I make sandwiches.”

Cadance shrugged. ‘Alright then. Now, let’s go find my husband.”

********

Crystal Tower Boiler Room

Shining grunted in pain as the pipe hit his sides. He held up his right foreleg to block a swing aimed at his head and cried out. Blackguard grinned and kept pushing on the pipe, trapping Shining’s foreleg.

“You’re dead, Shining.” Blackguard said. “You’ve got one hoof and it’s your bad one. And you’re tired. I had an energy bar before shit started blowing up. I’m fresh. You’re dead.”

“Hey Bennett.” Shining grunted.

“What?”

“I’m not right hoofed.”

A perfect ‘oh shit’ expression went over Blackguard’s face just before Shining’s left hoof smashed into it. The pipe clanged against the floor as Blackguard dropped it. Shining kept coming at him, left hoof repeatedly connecting with the unicorn’s body.

Shining quickly switched it up and kicked Blackguard with his hind leg. The unicorn went stumbling back, straight into a power crystal.

Electricity sparked and Blackguard howled. Smoke rose from his fur and the air was filled with the scent of burning fur and flesh.

Blackguard came away from the power crystal and charged forward, shouting incoherently. His forehead made contact with Shining’s, knocking the unicorn back. Blackguard jabbed Shining twice in the belly, doubling him over. Grabbing Shining, Blackguard sent him head first into a wall.

“Oh Shining old buddy, I feel good!” Blackguard said jovially as his next hoof strike landed right on Shining’s wound from the rocket earlier.

Shining cried out and sank to his knees.

“I gotta tell ya, a few volts does a body good!” Blackguard said as he slammed Shining’s head into the wall. “Maybe I’ll share that with your wife and that darling little foal of hers.”

Shining growled and spun around, his left hoof coming up with him. Blackguard was stumbled by the punch and Shining kept it up.

Another uppercut to the jaw. A grab of the head for the perfect head butt. Jabs to every sensitive area on the body of a unicorn. A stomp that broke an ankle. A twist that cracked a humerus. A punch that broke a nose and sent blood spurting from both nostrils.

A final punch sent Blackguard tumbling to the floor to stop in front of a large steam boiler.

Shining looked grimly as Blackguard spat blood. A sudden shout from above got his attention.

“Captain Shining Armor!”

Shining looked up to a hench-pony standing on the balcony above, pulling a pistol from a holster.

“I’ll go down in the history books for bagging you!” the stallion laughed.

He suddenly jerked violently as several bullets went through his body. He slumped against the railing, dead, his gun falling from his hooves.

“Hoo-rah.” Robinsson growled from where he lay on the ground, gun held loosely in one hoof.

The pistol fell from the balcony and landed with a clatter just in front of Blackguard. He snatched the pistol up as he got to his hooves, using the boiler behind him as leverage.

“Oh Shining, I think I’ve changed my mind about shooting you.” Blackguard said as he aimed the pistol.

Shining looked around furiously and spotted a large pipe next to him. He ripped it from the wall.

Blackguard cocked the pistol and fired. Or at least, he tried to.

“Aw fuck.” Blackguard said. “Safety was on-ACK!”

He cried out as Shining threw the pipe through him and into the boiler behind him.

“Shit.” Blackguard gasped as the gun fell from his grip. He spat blood and looked desperately at Shining. “Shining, please. I… I didn’t imagine punching out like this. Please… please let me die with some… dignity. Don’t… don’t cheapen my death and say… one of your… stupid ass one liners.”

Shining smirked. “Let off some steam, Bennett.”

Shining Armor

Has some issues

Blackguard Bennett sighed. “Yep… there it is.” he fell forward onto the pipe as steam issued forth from the end.

“Shining!”

Shining looked up to see Cadance standing there, holding Lovebug, Chrysalis by her side, and Truth standing between them.

He smiled and wiped some blood from his mouth. “What the buck took you so long?”

Author's Note

I hope the fact this chapter is really long makes up for how long it took to get it to you.

And You Thought it was Over

Crystal Tower Vault and Computer Room

10:15 PM

Theo was not one to panic. To be as good with computers as he was, you needed to have a calm level head, even in the worst of situations.

But when shit starts exploding, you are allowed to freak out a little.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!” Theo said to himself as he furiously tapped away at the keys of the computer interface, the room around him filling with smoke.

With a sudden and loud crash, the monitor of the computer he was working on exploded in a shower of crystal shards. Theo yelped as the shards pelted his coat, more than a few pricking him sharply.

The unicorn dove away from the crystal data banks on the off chance more were going to explode and landed less than gracefully near his equipment. He began hurriedly shoving the things he had brought with him into a black duffle bag, throwing in a few sizable gems from the vault for good measure.

He slung the bag over his shoulder as he picked up his radio.

“Juno, where are you?” he said into the device. “Juno?” he said again, cautiously.

Suddenly a loud beeping came from his bag. Cursing, Theo dropped the bag and shuffled around the contents until he found the source of the beeping.

Had Theo been one to wear pants, he would have likely shit them.

********

Crystal Tower Rooftop

Robinsson groaned as he was lowered to the roof’s surface.

“Watch it, will you,” he complained to Chrysalis, who had been using her magic to carry him. “I kind of took a bullet to the everything back there.”

“And you’re not dead, so quit complaining.” Chrysalis retorted.

Robinsson rolled his eyes. “Hey, I saved the captain back there. I would like to be at least handled by a mare with a softer touch.” he glanced hopefully at Cadance.

“Nope.” Shining said as he walked past Robinsson.

The pegasus sighed. “Very well, sir.”

Shining pulled the radio he had taken off the pony Robinsson had killed and was about to click it on when a voice crackled out from the speaker.

“Juno! Juno, talk to me!” the voice said frantically.

“That’s their tech.” Truth said.

Shining nodded and clicked on the radio. “Listen-” Shining glanced at Truth.

“Theo.” she said.

“-Theo, Juno is dead. You are now talking to Captain Shining Armor and if you have any interest in continuing to breathe you’ll cooperate.”

There was a pause. “O-okay then.” Theo said.

“Now, what’s so important?”

“Well, it’s, uh… It’s the fire bombs.”

“Fire bombs?”

“It was Juno’s getaway plan. After we had gotten all the data and such, we were to quietly pull back and then burn the building. No pony would know we had gotten away.”

“And this is important now because…?”

“The bombs are on a three minute timer. Somepony just activated it.”

“Who?”

“I’m not sure!” Theo said frantically. “Only Juno and I had detonators and I certainly didn’t press it!”

Rueben, who had been munching on a sandwich, looked thoughtful. “Then who-”

“Me.” growled a voice.

They all turned to see a changeling hauling himself up onto the platform. He was bleeding and his disguise was flickering, making him appear to be a pony for brief flashes.

“And who are you?” Chrysalis demanded.

The changeling grinned. “I’m Conicer. Artist extraordinaire.”

Conicer

“Artist”

Reuben snorted. “You’re a loony.”

“I’m also the one with the detonator.” he held up a little black box. “So, either you start doing exactly as I say, or-”

He was cut off as Shining, Chrysalis, and Cadance all pulled guns out and shot him off the platform. The detonator clattered to the ground. Cadance pulled it to her hoof with her magic.

“Theo, how do I stop the countdown?” Shining asked into the radio.

“Uh, well, I could shut it down from here. If the computer hadn’t, er, exploded.”

Shining sighed. “Well buck.” he clicked the radio to another channel. “Sunshine, you there?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, I’ve got a bunch of fire bombs that are going to fry the building set to go off in about two minutes. Get everypony away from the building, we’re going to go down the express elevator.”

“The elevators are all down. We’ve been evacuating ponies down the stairs.”

“Shit.”

“Captain, we still have the Boat.”

“The what?”

“It’s an airship.” Robinsson said. “But it was crippled in the attempt to breech.”

“It’s been repaired. Well, it’s been fixed…. Well, it can fly.” Sunshine said.

“Just get it up here now.” Shining said.

“Right away.

Shining clicked back to Theo. “Okay Theo, if you want to not die get your ass to the roof now.”

“Yes ma’am, er, sir!”

Shining rolled his eyes.

************

Base of Crystal Tower

“Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!” Sunshine shouted to the numerous ponies as they scrambled away from the Tower. She then ran to the Boat, which looked no better than when it had crashed earlier. But the thing was in the air, which was something.

Sunshine spread her wings and flew up onto the Boat, landing on the deck. There were still a few mechanics there, furiously working.

“Are we good?” Sunshine asked one of the mechanics.

“Should be.” she replied. “But we’re going to stay here and make sure.”

“Don’t drop on me.” Sunshine said, not sure if she was talking to the mechanic or the airship.

The airship climbed rapidly, sailing up until it was level with the rooftop. Sunshine peered over the gunwale of the airship and quickly spotted Shining and the others.

“There!” she shouted at the pilot.

The pony nodded and steered the airship as close to the roof edge as he dared.

“Captain!” Sunshine shouted into her microphone. When she saw she had gotten his attention, she pointed down at the opening ramp.

Shining nodded and gestured to the others. They made a beeline for the airship, halting at the edge of the roof. Cadance went across first, wings spread to ensure a safe landing, Lovebug clutched in her forelegs. Chrysalis followed, leaping the short distance easily. Truth followed closely behind.

Shining was about to follow when a voice spoke up.

“Hey, I can’t walk!” Robinsson shouted. “What am I supposed to do!?”

Shining rolled his eyes and looked to the brown earth pony. “Reuben, was it?” Shining asked.

He nodded.

“Help me with the war hero.”

Reuben grinned and nodded. The two stallions lifted Robinsson up and began swinging him back and forth, much to the pegasus’s displeasure.

“Hey! What the-!” he began before Shining and Reuben threw him over the gap and onto the ramp with a jarring thud.

“Ow!” Robinsson shouted with displeasure.

Shining and Reuben chuckled. Shining then nodded to Reuben.

“You next.”

The earth pony nodded and took a running leap onto the ramp. Shining was about to follow when a cry reached his ears.

“Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” Theo cried as he galloped as fast as he could across the roof.

Shining sighed and caught the hysterical unicorn. Using his momentum, Shining threw him across the gap and onto the ramp.

“Come on!” Cadance shouted at him.

Shining rolled his eyes and bit back the retort until he had made it on the airship. He took a few steps back and came at the airship running. He pushed off the edge of the roof, flying through the air to land safely on the ramp.

But he wasn’t alone.

On his heels was Conicer. The changeling slammed into Shining, sending them both tumbling to the surface of the ramp.

“Shining!” Cadance shouted as Conicer wrapped a limb around the unicorn’s throat.

“A little busy here!” Shining growled through clenched teeth and he struggled to throw the changeling off.

Meanwhile, Sunshine ordered the airship crew to pull back from the Tower. She then heard a shout. Running, she made her way through the airship to the ramp, where she nearly crashed into a hysterical Cadance.

“Shoot him!” Cadance shouted to Sunshine as the pegasus arrived on the ramp.

The Night-Guard looked in confusion at the fight on the ramp. She saw two Shining Armors grappling with each other.

“Which one?”

They all just looked worried. Sunshine groaned in annoyance and ran back into the airship.

The fight on the ramp was brutal. Each Shining was pulling no punches and both were using every dirty trick they could think of. They punched, kicked, bit, and tried hitting each other with magical blasts.

Suddenly, one Shining tackled the other to the surface of the ramp. His hooves were pressed to the other’s throat, choking him.

“You think you can beat me?” the Shining on top growled. “I’m not going to lose to a whelp like you. I win, you lose.”

A shot rang out and the Shining on top was thrown off, rolling to the edge of the ramp.

Shining rubbed his throat and looked to Cadance holding a smoking pistol in her grasp.

“How did you know?” he asked.

“Your one-liners are better.”

Shining smirked. He got to his hooves and walked over to where Conicer was reverting to his true form. The changeling looked up at him and spat.

“You think you’re so special.” Conicer growled. “You’re pathetic. You have everything and yet you’re unhappy.”

“Don’t pretend to know me.” Shining growled. “Now, surrender.”

Conicer spat again, this time blood. “You know what? Fine.” he staggered to his feet.

Shining nodded and turned away from the changeling. In the half second before it happened, Shining slapped himself.

Conicer’s kick was surprisingly strong and sent Shining tumbling across the ramp, back into the airship itself. He reached behind his back for something when Sunshine landed in front of him and shoved a shotgun into his stomach.

Their eyes met.

“Seriously?” Conicer asked.

Sunshine grinned. “You know, I’ve always wanted to say this.” she pumped the shotgun. “Get off my Boat.”

The shotgun roared and flung Conicer back off the ramp and into the air. At that same moment, the firebombs went off. The massive fireball grew out of the middle of the building, shooting out of windows and lighting up the night sky. Conicer was swallowed up by the fireball as the airship sped away, its occupants cheering.

And, just before Conicer’s life ended, the changeling had time for one last thought.

I was going to retire after this.

********

Base of Crystal Tower

Shining, Sunshine, Cadance and Lovebug, Chrysalis, Truth, Reuben, and Robinsson walked down the ramp of the airship, smirking and laughing at their good fortune of not being dead. Well, Reuben was carrying Robinsson, but he drew the short stick.

Theo followed, escorted by a pair of mechanics, loudly complaining. “Hey, hey! I helped you guys! Cut me some slack here!”

Shining laughed as he watched Theo be taken away. Cadance smiled and handed Lovebug off to Truth before sidling up next to Shining. On his other side, Chrysalis did them same.

“I’m sorry.” Cadance said as she nuzzled Shining’s side.

“She’s sorry.” Chrysalis said as she nuzzled Shining’s other side.

Shining laughed suddenly and slipped away from the two. “Excuse me?”

Cadance tilted her head. “What?”

“You’re sorry? After all that’s happened today, you’re sorry?”

Cadance sputtered. “W-what do you mean?”

“You do realize that even before this whole terrorist thing happened you kicked me out of the house.”

“Hey! I was drugged at the time!”

“Yeah, and that’s an excuse?”

“Shining, what do you want from me?”

“What do I want?”

Chrysalis looked uneasy. “H-hey, I think Truth needs to talk to me.” she tried to edge away.

“Oh no you don’t.” Shining grabbed the changeling and pulled her close.

“Shining!” Chrysalis said in alarm.

The unicorn just grinned and pulled the changeling into a deep, teeth clicking, tongue probing kiss. Chrysalis’s eyes widened and she gave a muffled sound of protest. She struggled for a moment before melting into the kiss, pressing herself to Shining.

Cadance watched with her mouth hung open and her wings flared behind her.

Shining broke the kiss and Chrysalis nearly fell over when he released her, a giddy expression plastered over her face.

“Wha- mmph!” Cadance ended up mimicking Chrysalis and Shining kissed her as well. This kiss lasted longer, eliciting a wolf whistle from Sunshine, who had wandered over to the scene.

Shining released Cadance and smiled at Sunshine.

The pegasus smiled back. “If you try to kiss me, I’ll break your nose.”

Shining chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“Shining,” Cadance asked, looking at him with the best puppy-dog eyes she could manage. “What does this mean?”

Shining smiled and pulled the alicorn close, using his magic to pull Chrysalis into his other foreleg. “It means that I think I can finally deal with the crazy thing my life has become. Because no matter what, I know you know me. I know you love me. And I know Chrysalis is pretty hot. So there’s that.”

Cadance and Chrysalis laughed.

A reporter suddenly appeared from seemingly nowhere. The mare forced herself close to Shining, Cadance, and Chrysalis and turned to her camera-pony.

“This is Breaking News here to bring you the latest on the terrorist crisis here in the Crystal Empire. We were kept in the dark before, mares and gentle-colts, but your intrepid reporter has gotten in to bring you the latest.”

Breaking News

Tabloid Rat

She turned to Shining. “Captain Armor, what is your comment on the incompetence of the Guard forces.”

Shining looked irritated and opened his mouth to speak when Truth suddenly popped up and punched Breaking News in the jaw.

“They're having a moment!” the changeling shouted at the mare. She pushed the mare and her camera-pony away, shouting the many things she was going to do to them should they loiter.

Shining, Cadance, and Chrysalis laughed as they watched the reporter leave. Sunshine then tapped Cadance on the shoulder.

“I believe this one is yours.” she said, handing Lovebug over.

Candace accepted the foal and smiled as Chrysalis and Shining. “She’s all of ours.”

“Aw.” Sunshine said almost mockingly as she walked away.

“So Shining,” Chrysalis asked as she nuzzled the unicorn. “What are you going to do now?”

Shining smiled. “What I always do after a long night of killing bad guys and saving wenches. I’m going to have some Celestia-damned corndogs.”

Reuben popped up offering a corn dog. “Captain?”

Shining squealed like a school filly.

The End

Author's Note

And we are done!

Bonus Chapters to follow!

First Bonus Scene and End Credits

Author's Note

Now with better credits and 20% cooler end credit music!

First Bonus Scene and End Credits

Base of Crystal Tower

Shining Armor was happily munching on his corndog when a fire pony walked up to him.

“Sir?” the pony said hesitantly.

“Yesh?” Shinning through his mouthful of corndog.

“We’ve been going through the Tower now that the threat has ended and it’s been deemed unsafe to live in.”

“Is it going to fall over?” Cadance asked, looking nervously at the towering… structure.

The fire pony shook his head. “No ma’am. But the walls are burnt pretty badly and most of the oxygen was sucked out by the fire on the upper floors. We’ve got rescue ponies taking care of anypony that might still be in there. But the point is it’ll be at least a few weeks before you and your family can return to your apartment.”

Chrysalis shrugged. “Eh, we’ll be fine right? So long as we have each other.”

“Sap.” Cadance snarked.

“Shipper.” Chrysalis smiled back.

Shining just hugged the two closer. “We’ll be fine.” he assured the fire pony.

The stallion nodded. “Alright sir.” he walked away.

“So,” Cadance said after a time. “Where exactly are we going to be staying for the next few weeks?”

Shining looked thoughtful. “We can stay at a hotel for the next few days in case they still need us here for something. After that, I suppose we could stay with Twilight.”

“In Ponyville?” Cadance asked, sounding eager.

Shining nodded.

Cadance grinned.

*******

Golden Oaks Library, Ponyville

Twilight Sparkle suddenly woke up in a cold sweat.

She shivered violently, even though her bed and room were toasty warm. She glanced outside, seeing the moon light up the snow covered roof tops of the buildings nearby. It was a calm, peaceful Hearth’s Warming Eve.

Suddenly, her fireplace belched out a letter. She tilted her head as the letter landed on her bed. Usually Spike was the one belching out letters. Where was Spike anyway?

Shaking her head, Twilight opened the letter and read its contents. It was from her brother. He and his family were coming to stay-

Twilight blinked and read the letter again.

“Oh fu-”

End Credits

Written and Directed by
The Wraith Writer

Cover art by
Conicer

Lovebug's name suggested by
Cookays

Typos pointed out by
Fourpony and SmilingKittens
Fferror

Cast

Nicolas Cage as Shining Armor

Scarlett Johansson as Cadance

Angelina Joile as Chrysalis

Female Jeremy Renner as Truth

Female Alan Rickman as Juno

Tom Cruise as Blackguard Bennet

??? as Masque Espion

with Kate Beckinsale as Sunshine

James Franco as Reuben