What's the Worst He Can Say?

Rainbow Blitz was, as Elusive might put it, fashionably late.

The party at Bubble Berry’s was already underway by the time the cyan pegasus touched down on the dirt in front of Sugarcube Corner. Pink streamers covered the entirety of the lower level and lights shone so bright that the night sky was almost like day in a small radius around the building. Music – wubstep music, Blitz noted – was playing in the air, causing the windows to rattle and vibrate and in places threatened to break.

Typical Bubble Berry, Blitz thought to himself. Throws a giant party for something so small.

This time was the ‘Butterscotch actually attempted to ask Red Gala out’ party. Even Blitz knew that Red Gala had said no, but it was a big accomplishment for the shy pegasus so Blitz figured he should come even if he did accidentally miss the first half-hour due to watching that program on the history of the Wonderbolts when he realized it.

Blitz walked in to find that what he thought would be a relatively small affair was, of course, bolstered by the pink party pony himself. Not only were Butterscotch and Red Gala there, but also Gala’s brother Applejack, resident egghead Dusk Shine, and quite a few eligible mares from around Ponyville, but Elusive was nowhere to be seen (probably with the same excuse of being fashionably late, Blitz thought). Apparently the word that Butterscotch was now looking had sent a few mares fawning over the yellow pegasus, currently standing in the middle of a large crowd with Bubble Berry, shouting out complements about the Pegasus.

“Hello there, Ponyville!” Bubble Berry’s voice rang out over the wubstep and the crowd. “That’s right, our very own Butterscotch managed to ask Red Gala out on a date! Now, Red Gala over there would like me to acknowledge she did say no, but this is a big achievement for our little shy guy! And who knows, Butterscotch has now revealed to us he’s ready for the dating scene, so come on down and see if you can’t get him to open up yourself!”

“Oh, Berry, I… I think I’m okay,” Butterscotch whispered, barely above the noise. “Also, if I really wanted someone, I think I could tell them myself.”

“This isn’t about getting you a girlfriend, silly!” Berry laughed. “This is about you being brave enough to ask Red Gala out on a date! That’s a really big thing you’ve done.”

“I’ve been brave before,” Butterscotch pointed out. “I’ve faced a dragon, I helped defeat Discord, and I helped with the Crystal Empire.”

There was a chorus of oohs and ahhs from the crowd. Blitz, as bad as he felt for Butterscotch, just leaned up against a wall and struggled to suppress his laughter, letting out a tiny snicker just so it wasn’t going to come bursting out.

“Yes you have,” Berry said, patting Butterscotch on the chest, “and nopony has forgotten that. But let me tell you: if there’s one thing that requires more bravery than any of those things combined, it’s telling somepony you love them. Especially if they’re a mare.”

This time, Blitz was unable to contain his laughter. Thankfully for him, it was lost and drowned out in the group of ponies laughing with him.

“I didn’t have an interest in her until recently,” Butterscotch tried pointing out. “I didn’t think to ask until a few weeks after the Crystal Empire.”

“Sure…” Berry said.

Blitz laughed a little more before going over to where a rather small though bulky red mare with half a green apple for a cutie mark was sitting off to the side next to a punch bowl. Blitz poured himself a cup of the pink liquid and looked over to the mare.

“Hey there, Red Gala,” Blitz said. “How are you?”

“Alright, Blitz,” Red Gala said. “How about yourself?”

“Good.” Blitz sniffed the punch and found a strong scent hit his nose, causing him to recoil from the rather strong burn. “Alcoholic?”

“Eeyup,” Red Gala replied.

Blitz turned the cup around in his hoof, rethinking his choice of drink. “Anything else to drink here?”

Red Gala nodded. “There’s water and a jug of honey apple cider around here. If you’re lookin’ to give that drink up, you might want to give it to Applejack over there.” Red Gala motioned to a lone table off to the side where an orange earth pony stallion with three apples on his flank and a well-kept Stetson hat on his head was sitting at a table with five empty cups around him. A short distance away was Dusk Shine at another table, talking with a few of the other stallions from around Ponyville.

Blitz leaned over to Red Gala. “What’s up with him?” he whispered.

“Not quite sure. He got bored and asked to sit down, and before I knew it he was drinkin’ his fourth cup of the punch. He might need a little help gettin’ home tonight.”

Blitz sighed and balanced the punch on his wing. Carefully as he could, he walked over to the other table and poured himself a glass of ice water with lemon before walking over to where Applejack was sitting. He had one hoof barely supported his head and another hoof was around an empty plastic cup.

“Mister and Missus Cake aren’t gonna be too pleased that you’re wasting all their cups,” Blitz said as he walked over.

Applejack raised his head. Blitz could see he had bags under his bloodshot eyes and his entire face was almost as red as Red Gala. “Hey, Rainbow,” he said, sounding exhausted. “Whassat in your hoof?”

“Cup of the punch. Red Gala told me if I didn’t want it I could give it to you.”

Applejack lifted up his own cup and tried to drink from it, but soon realized nothing was inside it. He released the plastic cup and it fell onto the table and rolled off onto the floor. “I’d take it, if ya didn’t mind.”

“Not a bit,” Blitz said, setting down the punch in front of Applejack and taking the ice water from his wing. Blitz settled himself in at the table. “So, what’s got you over here? You’re normally pretty sociable. You’re no Bubble Berry, but normally you’re out there with everypony else.”

Applejack took a sip of the punch. “Don’t know,” he said. “Guess I’m just exhausted. Bubble Berry went from Red Gala to me then to Butterscotch. That whole… thing started only recently.”

“Why you drinking?”

“Can’t a stallion have a drink after a long day?” Applejack said. “I’ve had to deal with Berry and ‘Scotch and Gala all afternoon goin’ on ‘bout this here spiel. I just can’t wait until it’s over.”

“I hear ya, AJ,” Blitz said, clapping a hoof around the farmer’s back. “You should have been there for the Sonic Rainboom party.”

“I was there,” Applejack corrected. “You enjoyed it, though.”

“True.” He motioned to the empty cups. “Are those all punch?”

“Nah,” Applejack replied, taking another sip of his current cup. “That empty one you saw me with was number three.”

Blitz nodded. Not as bad as he thought, but enough to consider walking Applejack home. “Any idea why you’re drinking?”

Applejack shook his head.

“I bet you’re jealous,” Blitz said, elbowing Applejack in the side and causing some of the punch to spill over. “Your little sister is already getting asked out and you haven’t even gotten one yet. I betcha Applebuck is gonna get a girl before you!”

“Cut that out!” Applejack said, turning around and flailing his hoof at the pegasus. Blitz was too quick, though, and caught Applejack’s hoof before setting down on the table. Applejack fought Blitz’s grip but the alcohol had made him weak and he quickly settled down with a sigh. “It ain’t that.”

“Aw, come on!” Blitz pounded the table with a hoof, upsetting the last of his water out of the glass. “Why can’t you tell me? Heck, we know each other like the back of our hooves! We’ve been working together longer than Dusk Shine has been in Ponyville!”

Rainbow Blitz found himself on the receiving end of a glare from Applejack. The already bloodshot eyes made his normal green eyes look a sickly red, not to mention the fact that they burned from underneath the shadow of his Stetson. Applejack’s mouth was stretched into a ferocious snarl that showed pure white teeth underneath. “Don’t you dare mention Dusk to me,” he growled, just low enough that the purple unicorn at the other table couldn’t hear but with a rumble that caused Blitz to shake in his seat.

“Alright, alright!” Rainbow Blitz said, waving his hooves in front of his face. “It’s not jealousy. I give, Element of Honesty.”

For being quick to anger as he was, Applejack calmed down almost as quickly. He looked at the empty cup in his hoof, took the final swig, and tossed the cup down on the table with the others before giving a defeated sigh. “Ugh… I’m gonna have a massive hangover tomorrow…”

This gave Blitz an idea. The Element of Honesty couldn’t lie to save himself, and he was certainly at a vulnerable stage.

He is so gonna hate me for this…

“Hold on just a minute, AJ,” Blitz said. “I’ll be back with a glass of water for ya.”

Applejack nodded. “Thanks, Rainbow.”

Rainbow Blitz got up and got himself two glasses of water, balanced on each wing, and one more glass of the punch. Blitz walked back over to the table and set down the two glasses of water across the table from Applejack and put the glass of punch in front of the farmer pony.

“…this ain’t water,” Applejack said, head swaying from side to side.

“You said a stallion should have a drink after a long day of working,” Blitz smirked. “So, you can have your drink.”

“I don’t wanna get drink,” Applejack said.

That technically wasn’t a lie. Neither was the jealousy. “You already are. You’ve had four glasses of punch since I came here, you’re not focusing on me, and you’re slurring your words. You’re drunk. One more won’t hurt.”

Applejack looked over to Rainbow. “If I drink, you give the water?”

“Certainly.”

Applejack took the cup in his hoof and started drinking. Unlike the others, which he sipped, this glass went down in eight large gulps. Rainbow Blitz watched as the cup was drained, giving a rather gentle smile towards his friend though smirking inwardly at himself. Drinky, drinky, then you’ll tell Blitzy… he sung to himself.

After the drink, Applejack looked even redder than he did before and was swaying from side to side. Rainbow Blitz looked around to find Dusk Shine up from the table and speaking with Red Gala, then noticed Applejack following his head.

“Whaddaya want?” Applejack slurred.

“There’s gotta be a reason you are over here drinking alone,” Blitz said. “So… tell me? Please?”

Applejack pointed a hoof in Blitz’s general direction, though it kept pointing past him with how much he was swaying. “You promise me give water.”

Very slowly, he made his eyes get bigger and his mouth turn into a pout. This trick always worked on him when Bubble Berry wanted him to join in on some pranks or Elusive when he needed to try a new suit outfit. “Please?”

Applejack’s hoof flopped on the table with a thud that nearly cracked it in half. “You cheatin’ bastard,” he said. “Alright. You see, I was tryin’ to find someone myself, you see? I was just try—tryin’ to find somepony myself. Now, you… you can ask Butterscotch about this and he wouldn’t tell you a thing, but I tells you it’s true. I made a bet with him that I could ask someone out first. He won. I owe him twenty bits. Now gimme water…”

Applejack reached across the table and nearly would have grabbed the glass if Blitz hadn’t pushed the water glass away. “Hold on. You made a bet and didn’t involve me? You know what you gotta do.”

“Blitzy…” Applejack whined, face falling on the table with his hooves unable to support it. “You promised me…”

“No water until you tell me the bet.”

“I told you already…”

“Further.”

Applejack sighed. “Al-alright. I’ll tell ya, I’ll tell ya. Well, you see, Butterscotch been having eyes on my sis for a while now. A-and he told me so. So I told him there was some’n’ I had my eye on. A friend of ours. One that my heart skipped a beat ever since I first saw… Anyway, Butters won. End of story.”

“No that is not, AJ! Who is this that you’ve been wanting to tell?”

Even drunk, Applejack had some sense. “Bubble Berry promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

“Cross my heart, hope to fly; stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Applejack nodded. “Dusk,” he whispered. But he whispered it so loudly that he may as well have been talking with the noise he made.

Blitz was a little quieter. “Dusk? Seriously? What is it about him?”

“Can’t rightly tell ya. I… I just think he’s cute, you know? I mean, ever take a good, long look at him, Blitzy?” Aplejack managed to bring a hoof up around Blitz’s shoulders to hold him up and another one pointed at Dusk Shine. “E-ever take a real good, long look at him? Son of a bitch has got it all.”

“Not quite sure what you’re getting at there, Casanova,” Blitz said, leaning a bit away; Applejack was heavier than he realized.

“Let’s start from the top. Those eyes. I mean, those eyes. They just look like the clouds at sunset from top the orchard. So, there’s the top. Let’s work our way down, down to that… that… butt. I’ve stared at his butt sometimes, Blitz. The way that violet just goes down the curves. Long and hard.”

“That probably wasn’t the only thing…” Blitz mumbled under his breath.

“But I ain’t interested in just that,” Applejack suddenly shouted, so loud that Blitz had to pull himself away to avoid getting blown out, before just as quickly quieting down. “I’m interested in that mind o’ his. He’s… he’s smart. Smart. Canterlot smart. Smarter than a farm pony like me ain't ever gonna come to. But he don’t brag about it, you know? You know what I mean? He’s just… cool. Cool about the whole thing. There for ya when you need him. ‘Cept for hugs. Son of bitch has never offered me a hug.”

“Alright,” Blitz said before Applejack could embarrass him too much further. He pushed the water glass over and Applejack drank heartily from it. “Drink your water then I’m taking you home. You clearly overdid it.” I clearly overdid it.

“Did you hear that everypony!?” Applejack suddenly shouted. “Blitzy’s gonna take me home!” As Blitz hoisted Applejack up as much as he could before walking, the farmer pony’s voice got lower and lower. “He’s gonna take me home and tuck me in and do things to me that nopony’s done before!”

“You got the wrong pony in mind,” Blitz said quietly. “That’d be Berry.”

“You’re a freaking rainbow!” Applejack whined as they stumbled out of Sugarcube Corner. “You’re the poster for the thing!”

“And you’re heavier than Elusive and the Wonderbolts combined,” Rainbow Blitz said. “Come on; you’re drunk, not asleep.”

“I would be asleep if you left me alone,” Applejack said. “Sorry.”

“ ‘S okay. Just one thing.”

“What?”

“Remind me never to get you drunk again.”

“…can’t exactly hold you to that, sugarcube.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Right. ‘Cause you’re not a sugarcube. That’d be Dusk. And Elusive's a marshmallow.”

Rainbow Blitz slapped his forehead with a hoof.