Formal Diplomacy

by RainbowBob

Rating: teen
Tags: Human
Length: 2950

Humanity and ponykind, united at last. At least, soon enough. Whether Celestia likes it or not.

Humanity and ponykind, united at last. At least, soon enough. Whether Celestia likes it or not.

Inspired and edited by totallynotabrony.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-22 18:49:27 UTC

Chapter 1: Relations Are Good For The Most Part

The room was silent, which was a sharp contrast to what Celestia had been used to only minutes ago. She could still feel the ringing in her ears and the distant cheers and calls from the crowd spanning the hundreds of thousands spread out before her like a tide of bodies and screaming. It was a harrowing experience to say the least.

Sighing, she relaxed in her seat. It was only for a moment, though, for a figure briskly walked through the door, flanked by two men in suits with their hands always on their sides.

The figure took a seat, revealing the charming face of the Chancellor of Earth. Otherwise known as the most powerful man of a human colonized planet.

Smoothing over his impeccably pressed suit and flashing another one of his television and hologram winning smiles, he said, “Sorry to keep you waiting, your highness.”

Celestia smiled as well, though not as chipper as him. “Not a problem at all, Mr. Chancellor.”

“You know how meetings can be,” he chuckled, pointing back to the door at the end of the room. “Especially with crowds like that. I’m surprised we managed to get so many to arrive.”

“Yes, well, it was an…” Celestia winced as the shouting she had experienced minutes before, “interesting experience.”

“I’m sure quite unlike anything you’ve had here in Equestria, am I right?” the Chancellor asked, smile widening to portray his incredibly white teeth, Celestia had noticed this unnatural whiteness among several of the humans in leadership or celebratorial positions, so guessed it was probably a show of social class of some sort.

“No, nothing like it at all,” Celestia agreed. “I didn’t even know so many ponies—er, I mean, people, could be fit into one place before.”

“You should see the football games we have on Earth. We can fit millions into the stadiums over there,” the Chancellor chuckled.

“Millions…” Celestia repeated back slowly.

“Yes, but that pales in comparison to the billions watching on their holoscreens at home.”

“B-billions? Are you sure?” Celestia asked.

The Chancellor nodded silently, smile slightly widening. “Why, of course. We humans are really adamant about diplomatic relations. Especially considering the… benefits that come with it.”

“Benefits?” Celestia asked, furrowing her brow.

“Benefits for both of us, of course,” the Chancellor assured her. “The combined welfare of both our peoples can be increased greatly if we were to work together.”

“Work together how, exactly?”

The Chancellor opened his arms, showing his palms face up on the table. “By trading, first of all. We can begin shipments of our most advanced technologies to you in a matter of days if we get the proper paperwork signed and filed. In a few month’s time, Equestria can be the world of tomorrow.” The Chancellor added a hand motion to the last word.

“And what would you want in return?” Celestia asked. “Providing to us the ‘world of tomorrow’ won’t be a cheap expenditure, I am sure.”

“We can begin with a formal treaty between the Human Federation and Equestria to smooth things out,” The Chancellor suggested. “Which then makes way for an inclusion of your species to the United Planetary League for further stimulations and future negotiations we might need to resolve.”

Celestia sighed. “Mr. Chancellor, not to be rude or anything… but I don’t think I want Equestria to join any universal federation of any sorts.”

The Chancellor’s smile twitch downward for a quick moment. “And why is that, Princess?”

“Because truthfully, I would like to keep affiliation between my ponies and the human species to a minimum.” Celestia stared the Chancellor straight in the eyes. “After reading up a bit of your history, I think it would be best if the Equestrian population did not associate with your kind.”

“My… kind?” the Chancellor said. Resting both his hands on the table and crossing his fingers, he asked, “Why exactly did you learn about my kind’s history to feel like you would not want to associate with it?”

“If you must know, it’s because humanity is not the best influence on a nation that has been used to peace for over a thousand years,” Celestia said in a deadpan tone. “From what I have studied of human history in the past, it is rife with war, violence and genocide of the most horrible kind. The atrocities committed by your kind have never been heard of in Equestria, much less imagined. I would like to protect my ponies from that kind of bad influence.”

“So, you’re scared about bad influence? Or rather, is it just influence that isn’t yours?” The Chancellor’s grin turned deviously into a smirk. “From what we have studied about your own kind, Princess, you aren’t the most earnest for change that doesn’t come from your own will.”

Celestia frowned “And what exactly does that mean?” she asked.

“Well, let’s just see facts, shall we?” The Chancellor lifted one hand up in the air. “During said one thousand years of peace, Equestria’s technological discoveries ground to almost a halt. For centuries new inventions were scarce and new ideas scarcer. We were actually surprised you all weren’t as technologically advanced as us, seeing how you had certainly better conditions to develop whatever tools you would need to succeed.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” Celestia demanded.

The Chancellor lifted his other hand. “Getting to that. Now see, us humans have had almost no period in recorded history when a war wasn’t going on. We have fought each other, hated each other, and downright murdered each other to the point of, like you said, genocide. But you know what we got from that?” The Chancellor crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat. “Some of the most advanced technologies in the universe, a couple of dozen planets colonized for our species, and the biggest trading federation in multiple galaxies. And what do you ponies have?”

“Peace,” Celestia stated flatly. “My ponies have enjoyed peace.”

“At what price?” the Chancellor asked.

“There is no price for peace,” Celestia replied.

“Oh, but I believe there is, Princess.” The Chancellor chuckled lightly under his breath. “Because, for you ponies, the price for peace came with almost no development in terms of just about anything at all.”

“I’ll have you know that Equestria is one of the most developed countries in all of Equis,” Celestia reminded him with a hard gaze.

“Compared to the minotaur, gryphon, and diamond dog nations that are too busy killing each other? Then sure, you’re pretty developed. Heck, the dragons are just nomads compared to you. But in terms of actual development compared to humans…” The Chancellor shrugged. “You’ve had a railroad system for over a hundred years now, and have barely expanded it. Your medicine field is simplistic and not very advanced, your industry field hasn’t even had an industrial revolution yet, and in terms to media coverage you are still limited to reporters and newspapers with no real attempts at doing holo—I mean, television coverage.”

“That is because humans and ponies are very different,” Celestia reminded him.

“Oh, I agree with you. Humanity didn’t have a benevolent near-god rule us for over a thousand years. We didn’t have the solution to our problems be as easy as friendship or the power of love. Nothing like that at all.” For the first time since meeting him, Celestia noticed his smile was gone from his face, revealing the Chancellor’s sullen cheeks and bleary eyes. “If we did have those things, then I can see us being more of the same.”

Celestia peered into the Chancellor’s unsmiling gaze. “What are you getting at, Mr. Chancellor?”

The Chancellor was quiet, staring at his fingers on the desk. “What I’m getting at, is that I think it would be in your best interest to open negotiations between human and pony relations. This isn’t about what you consider beneficial for your country anymore, Celestia.”

“But is is my country,” Celestia pointed out hesitantly, almost as if asking a question.

“For the time being yes. However… that won’t be the case for much longer. To truly be accepted into the United Planetary League, a planet must be united under a democratic state of government. Doesn’t matter which type, as long as any form of monarchy rule or dictatorship is no longer in power on the planet. We are real sticklers for that, seeing how most corruption comes from extreme federal power ruling over a country or planet.”

Celestia forced pressure on her teeth for a brief moment. “But you cannot possibly mean to tell me I’ll have to give up my throne to join you, do I?”

“Every other nation on Equis has,” the Chancellor answered. “Equestria is the only one who hasn’t already.”

“Why was I not informed of this news?” Celestia asked, her eyes widening.

“Like I said, undeveloped media coverage.” The Chancellor’s smile returned, brightening his face to a radiant glow like a switch just went off in him. “When we offered the same deal to the various monarchs and rulers of the nations of Equis, most refused. Weirdly enough, however, a few days later revolts and uprisings happened in every one of those nations, and their leaders were either driven out of power or killed. Strange, is it not?”

Celestia gritted her teeth and swallowed back her first rebuttal, which could be considered rude and even vulgar to most who would have heard it.

Seeing the rage appear on her face, the Chancellor leaned back in his seat. “As of now, Equestria is the only country in Equis not supporting human and the races of your world interactions.”

“And you intend to change that?” Celestia asked with venom in her voice.

The Chancellor got out of his seat. “Not at all. Both the Human Federation and the United Planet League are not allowed to involve themselves in a not-correlated planet’s affairs other than negotiations with the planet as a whole, or individual countries. My hands are tied other than telling you to accept while you still can.”

“While I still can?” Celestia asked callously. Raising a brow, she stated, “Is that a threat?”

“Of course not,” the Chancellor answered with a frown. “Threats can be quoted. Warnings, however, can’t.” Tapping his wrist, a hologram suddenly projected from the back of his hand, showing the current time. Grinning that ever cheerful smile again, the Chancellor turned his watch off and nodded to Celestia. “If you’ll excuse me, your majesty, but I must be off. The minotaur and gryphon delegates are eagerly awaiting the new tech they are about to receive and draw trading agreements of, and the diamond dogs are getting situated with their new advancements as well. The world of tomorrow is fast approaching, Celestia.” The Chancellor winked, turning his back on her and walking out of the room.

“Do try and keep up.”

Epilogue

“So, today is the day, is it not?” the Chancellor asked, looking out the window of the conference room.

“You were the one who scheduled it. I don’t know why you’re asking me,” Luna answered behind him, not bothering to join him from her seat.

The Chancellor chuckled. “Just a matter of starting a conversation, my dear.”

Luna sighed. “You know, only a week ago you addressed me as your majesty.”

“Only a week ago, Equestria was under monarchy control. But just look at it now.” The Chancellor opened his arms out wide to regal in the view below him. Down in the streets of Canterlot, ponies were in lines that spanned miles wide just to enter booths. “The first electoral election for the leader of Equestria! One of the biggest steps of government improvement in Equestria’s history is happening right before us! Isn’t it a magnificent sight?”

“You’ve probably already seen it plenty of times,” Luna guessed.

“Oh yes, dozens of times while in my position as Chancellor. But it never gets old.”

“It never gets old subjecting a people to your own views then?” Luna said with a cold fury in her voice. “Or forcing them to give up who they are for an imperialist society like yours?”

“Quite the hypocrite, aren’t we?”

Luna frowned. “What?”

The Chancellor returned to his seat at the end of the table opposite her. “You do know of the Crystal Empire, right? And how the ruler was a Princess Cadance?”

“Your point?” Luna asked.

“She was never a true inhabitant of the Crystal Empire. She wasn’t even a crystal pony. She was, for all intents and purposes, a monarch placed there by Celestia to rule over the crystal ponies.” The Chancellor’s grin widened. “Now, I don’t know what the definition of imperialism means to you ponies, but for us humans that fits the definition on the dot.”

Luna’s mouth opened, but then closed as her eyes furrowed. Looking towards the window she stated, “This still isn’t right. You never gave us a choice.”

“I gave Celestia a choice, and she made hers,” the Chancellor corrected her. “The Equestrian people—er, ponies, made theirs. When left with the decision of advanced technologies, cures for almost every fatal disease in existence, prosthetic limbs and cybernetic implants for those who are paralyzed, and much other benefits for unity with us humans, the other choice to remain isolated was clearly the wrong one.”

“Wrong by whose view?” Luna asked quietly.

The Chancellor lifted up his hand and pointed his palm towards the window. “Does it look like the wrong choice by those out there? What about the various other species on Equis? Was it wrong for the diamond dogs to get rid of their overbearing dictator that killed thousands of his own kind in brutal regimes? Was it wrong for the gryphons to exile their queen who spent millions while the poor starved on the streets?” The Chancellor placed his hand back down on the table and smiled to Luna. “Now look at them. In a matter of months the death rate will be cut down to near zero, food will be supplied to the hungry, and poverty will be a thing of the past.”

“But Equestria never had any of those problems,” Luna pointed out.

The Chancellor shrugged, brushing her comment aside. “No, but it did have a monarchy that slowed down both industry and technological advancements. And, unfortunately, like I said, every nation on a planet must coincide with the United Planetary League rules by being a democracy of some sorts. And Equestria just didn’t fit the bill.”

“But I already told you, ponies are different. My sister made it clear enough to you after multiple discussions!” Luna peered deep in the Chancellor’s gaze. “We ponies have depended on magic for as long as we could remember. That is why our technologies are not as advanced as they are. And I can tell you right now, when I arrived back in Equestria after my thousand years absence, it was much different than anything I could have imagined.”

The Chancellor chuckled lightly under his breath, looking down at his hands. “You think I don’t already know that? Luna, I take great care in studying every planet chosen to assimilate into the United Planetary League. Equestria is just that one little piece of the puzzle that you have to force to fit to complete the entire piece.” Looking back up at her, he said, “Equis must be united completely before joining our League. If that means you ponies having to sacrifice for the greater good of the entire planet, then so be it.”

“But—”

“Luna, are you willing to let every other species on the planet suffer because Equestria won’t let go of its monarchy?” the Chancellor asked her.

Luna sighed, avoiding his gaze. “No.”

“Good then” The Chancellor clapped his hands and got up. “Lest we slow down the amazing development of a new, better order than we already are. I wish you luck in the elections. You seem to be a popular choice.”

“You do not care whether I become the new leader of Equestria or not?” Luna asked him with a scrupulous look.

“I do not care if you are leader of Equestria for thousands of years or not. Your new constitution doesn’t say how many times you can be elected or not, and since you are immortal, you can be leader of Equestria possibly forever.”

Luna’s eyes widened. “And this doesn’t matter to you?”

The Chancellor smirked. “Why should it? Equestria is just another country on another planet on another galaxy out here in this big universe of ours. Only difference now is that you must answer to the League. The answerer doesn’t really matter.”

“It… doesn’t?” Luna said.

“Nope,” the Chancellor answered. “Besides, now you have the fun of voting for your own Chancellor for the soon to be created Equis Federation. An election between all the Equis nations should be an intriguing development.” The Chancellor waved to Luna and turned to leave out the door.

“Wait!” Luna called out, the Chancellor stopping in his tracks before he exited the room. “What was the point of this meeting? Why did you choose to speak with me in the first place?”

The Chancellor glanced over his shoulder. “I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be as troublesome as Celestia was. I’m glad to say, you weren’t.” With that, the Chancellor closed the door, leaving Luna in the room by herself.

Getting out of her seat, Luna made her way to the window overlooking the voters out on the street eagerly deciding upon the next leader of their nation. Luna hoped with a sinking feeling it wouldn’t be her.