At the End of the Tunnel

I'm not exactly sure what Twilight had said to Time Turner to convince him that I was a fast learner, but I was never one to disappoint. By the time the dog days of summer rolled around, I was good enough at not only clock-making, but clock-fixing that Time Turner would allow me at times to be in the shop working all on my own. It was during just one of these times when a very interesting development began. I was fixing a little Cuckoo Clock that Lyra had brought in, when the bell hanging above the front door chimed. I looked up from my work to see a gray pegasus with a blonde mane fly through the door carrying a sizeable brown package.

"Let me get that for you, Ditzy," I said, quickly making my way around the counter to retrieve the box. The last thing I wanted was for her to accidentally fly into one of the wall displays. Ditzy Doo was sweet, and a nice enough mare, but also a known klutz. Because of this, some of the ponies around town referred to her as "Derpy Hooves". I didn't care much for the nickname and insisted on only using her real name.

"Thanks a lot, Guy," she said as I took the box from her. With her front hooves now free, she landed on the floor.

"This a package for Time Turner," I asked, noticing that the box, despite its size, was quite light, "I thought the mail didn't get delivered today."

"Oh...well, it usually doesn't," Ditzy replied, trying her best not to make eye contact, "but this one showed up as express delivery, so I figured it was important." She finally was able to look up at me with those little crossed eyes of hers.

"Well thank you, Ditzy," I acknowledged, placing the box on the counter, "is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Um...well, now that you mention it...is Time Turner around?"

"You just missed him actually, said he had to go to his house really quick. I'm sure he'll be back in a minute if you want to wait."

"Um...no, no, I'll just, uh, try to find him later. Bye, Guy."

"Bye Ditzy."

The mailmare went back through the door very quickly, as if she was in a hurry to get somewhere. I shook my head and returned to Lyra's clock, deciding to wait until Time Turner got back before seeing what was inside the package.

I didn't have to wait very long, fortunately, as my colleague returned to the shop only a few minutes later, just as I had predicted. He noticed the big package immediately.

"Hmmm, and what is this," he asked, examining the box.

"Oh, Ditzy came and delivered it," I explained, not looking up from my work for the time being, "said it was marked express."

"Well that's odd, I shouldn't have anything arriving today. Wait, you said Ditzy was here?"

"The one and only."

"Did she, by chance, say anything else?"

"Well, she did say she was looking for you, but when I told her you'd be back soon, she left in quite a hurry."

"Oh my," Time Turner sounded uncharacteristically nervous, shifting his weight from one hoof to the other, "Guy, can...can you keep a secret?"

This made me finally look up from what I was doing, "Sure Time Turner, what is it?"

"Well...you see...um," he was still acting strange and couldn't seem to stand still. He was looking around as if to make sure nobody else was around, "I...I sort of, oh blast how do you say it, I sort of have a...a crush on Ditzy."

"Ha, that's great Time Turner," I said, throwing my arms wide, my eyes getting rather big, "So, when are you going to ask her out?" This question seemed to paralyze him.

"Oh no, I...I can't do that. What if...what if she says no, or doesn't have any feelings for me? No, I can't let that happen, oh, no, no, no."

I found myself quite bemused to see the usual straight-laced pony acting in such a way. I went back to the workbench and picked up a flat-head screwdriver with the intent of using it to open the package.

"I don't think you need to worry," I said, ripping and tearing the masking tape that sealed the box shut, "Even if she doesn't like you like that, there's no way she would be mean about it." Opening the box, I looked inside and a huge grin broke across my face. "And if you ask me, I would say she likes you the same way."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because," I mused, turning the box onto its side so that Time Turner could see, "this package is empty." The pony's eyes got real big, and his jaw hung just a little bit.

"But...but why would Ditzy deliver an empty box?"

"Isn't it obvious," I asked, coming around the counter and standing next to him, "She used this package as an excuse to come and see you. That's why she freaked out when I said you weren't here. She was expecting you to be here alone, not me."

The Earth pony stood there for a moment, still trying to process all the information he had just received, "So, you're telling me...?"

"Ditzy likes you back," I spelled it out for him, "All you have to do is ask her out. And you can do that the brave way, or the cowardly way. The brave way is that you go out right now, find her, and ask her to dinner tonight."

"No, no, no, I'm too nervous, I'd screw it up. What's the cowardly way?"

"The cowardly way is you write her a little love note, anonymously. Then I make sure she gets it."

"Ye-yeah," the clock-maker was very nervous now, "that seems like a much better idea."

"If that's what you want. Now what are you going to write," This paralyzed him all over again, to which I chuckled, "I surely hope you aren't like this on your date."

Time Turner quickly tried to regain his composure, "Well I was hoping that you could write it for me. I don't exactly have any experience in these things."

"And you think I do?"

"C'mon, Guy, I know you had marefriends in your previous world. Please just do it for me, please."

"OK, Turner, I'll do it, on one condition."

"Name it."

"You craft for me a golden wristwatch with fine diamonds for all twelve hour points."

"Done! Now can you please get on writing this thing? I'm quaking in my hooves."

He didn't need to explicitly tell me that last part, I could quite clearly see it for myself. With a smiling sigh, I returned to my work bench and, after carefully moving Lyra's clock, which I would have to finish later, brought out a quill and a sheet of paper.

While writing with a quill and ink wasn't exactly the same thing as writing with a pencil or pen, I had quickly picked up the intricacies of the writing utensil. Before long, I had crafted quite the love letter, which read as such:

My Dearest Ditzy,

I have admired you from afar for quite some time. I can not exactly place my hoof on what has attracted me to you for so long. Perhaps it is your kindness and geneality, perhaps it is the graceful manner in which you hold yourself. Hay, to tell you the truth, I am most attracted to all of you, your entire being, just the fact that you exist and are in my life in any way brings me the utmost joy.

With that in mind, I am writing you this letter in a hopeful effort to have you agree to take our relationship in a slightly new direction. To that end, I cordially invite you to dinner with me at the Cafe du Mane tonight at 7 in the evening. When you get there, simply say that you are "coming to see an old friend", they will know what this means.

Sincerely,

Your not-so-secret-anymore admirer.

With the first part of my plan completed, I quickly folded up the letter and placed it in an envelope, simply addressing it to "Ditzy". Quickly, I departed Time Turner's shop with the idea of heading over to Ditzy's house, which she happened to share with Golden Harvest, to deliver it.

Reaching my destination and fortunately not seeing anypony around, I delivered my, that is to say Time Turner's, love letter. Instead of placing it in the mailbox, which she may not check, I instead slipped the envelope under the front door. If Ditzy herself didn't discover it, at least Golden would and would be quick to pass it along. My job there done, I hoofed it, pun completely intended, back to the shop and informed Time Turner of what I had done. He seemed very satisfied and, after going over some final details, decided to give me the rest of the day off, for which I was very grateful.

The rest of my afternoon passed very uneventfully until our decided upon meeting time at the cafe. Time Turner gave the specific instructions to the maitre d' of how to treat Ditzy when she arrived. I decided to eat at the establishment as well, sort of keeping an eye on how things were going without Ditzy knowing I was there. Time Turner got a nice table for two on the patio, while my table was on the inside, but in such a way where I would be able to see them without them seeing me. I wanted Time Turner to be as natural and comfortable as possible. Of course, I wouldn't be able to hear anything they said, but I would be able to make out by their body language how the date was going.

When Ditzy arrived, I made sure to make myself scarce, the maitre d' showed her to Time Turner's table, and while, again, I couldn't hear them, I could tell that she was both shocked but not shocked at the same time. I smiled knowingly to myself, content in the knowledge that I had been right all along.

For awhile, everything was going smoothly. I was enjoying my salad that came before my main course, and the two lovebirds seemed to be getting along splendidly.

"Hey there Guy! What'cha doin'!?"

The sudden, loud, voice made me jump out of my seat. When I looked back toward where the voice came from, my look of surprise turned to one of anger. I was staring at everypony's favorite party-animal, Pinkie Pie.

"Pinkie," I said through gritted teeth, "what in Celestia's name are you doing here?"

"Eating. What are you doing here?"

"Eating."

"And..."

"There is no and..., Pinkie."

"Liar, liar, mane's on fire."

"OK, OK, you got me. But everything I'm about to tell you is extremely confidential, you can't tell anypony."

"I won't, I Pinkie Promise."

Wondering how a pony could know what a pinkie promise was, I held out my right hand, pinkie finger extended.

"Well," I said, my finger hanging there, "you said you'd pinkie promise."

"No, I said I'd Pinkie Promise, see. Cross my heart," she crossed her heart, "hope to fly," she stuck one of her hooves high into the air, "stick a cupcake in my eye," she brought the same hoof down and literally stuck it into her cornea. I wondered how that didn't hurt before remembering who I was dealing with. "So, what are you really doing here?"

"I'm observing Time Turner's date."

"Ooh," the pink pony clapped her hooves together, "you're spying on your boss! Fun!"

"No, Pinkie, I'm not spying. Time Turner knows I'm here, but his date doesn't."

"Who's his date?

I pointed out the window. Pinkie followed my extended index and gazed upon Time Turner and Ditzy Doo, laughing, probably from something Ditzy had said.

"Awww, they look so cute together, something tells me you had something to do with it."

"I was just in the right place at the right time to help both of them."

"That's really nice of you, Guy, helping two ponies get together like that. Time Turner should set you up with somepony as thanks.

The thought of Time Turner setting me up on a date made me laugh like a hyena on the inside, but sweat bullets on the outside.

"Well," Pinkie said, getting up out of her seat, "gotta go now."

"Hold on. Do you have to go? You might as well stay and keep me company over dinner. I'll buy."

My friend stared back at me with a little smirk on her face, "Only if I can get two desserts."

This demand made me finally laugh out loud, which I suppose was Pinkie's plan all along.

"Two desserts Pinkie. You might even be able to convince me to get a second," I signaled for a waiter, "a menu for the mare, please."

And so Pinkie and I had dinner together, and it was truely enjoyable. I almost forgot to keep an eye on Time Turner and his date, but never let it be said that I can't multitask.

"You know what ponies are going to be whispering tomorrow, right," Pinkie asked me after our dinner was served.

"What? About Time Turner and Ditzy? Don't see why that would be a problem."

"No, silly filly. About you and me."

"And what would they be saying about you and me. We're just two friends having dinner together, not a big deal. Not like we walked in the door hand-in-hoof." This last turn-of-phrase made Pinkie giggle.

"You've been here long enough to know that news travels fast in Ponyville. And gossip travels even faster."

"Well if Rarity says something about it to me tomorrow, I'll correct her, if need be."

"You're seeing Rarity tomorrow, oh do tell," Pinkie did her best to mimic Rarity's voice with this statement.

"Just about a new set of clothes. She's finally making me a comfortable pair of polyester exercise shorts and some sleeveless shirts. Will be a lot more comfortable when I go out and give Applejack a hand at the farm."

"Oh, well that's nice, Rarity sure is generous isn't she?"

"Isn't that what her Element of Harmony was," I inquired, "makes sense that she would embody it as much in real-life as in a little necklace."

"Do you like it when she does things for you?"

"Well I appreciate it, of course. I mean, at first it was a little strange to know someone so that was so generous and thoughtful out-of-hand, but where would I be without it? Remember Twilight and I going to see the princesses? How would I have looked if I didn't have a perfect outfit for the evening."

"Yeah, she's a great friend. Have you heard the story of the first time we all went to the Grand Galloping Gala?"

"No, I haven't," I said quizzically, "what's the Grand Galloping Gala?"

"Oh, well it's--," Pinkie seemed to have her attention taken by something else, Looks like the story will have to wait, the couple we've been spying on is getting ready to leave."

I turned by head to see that indeed, Time Turner seemed to be pocketing the bill and leading Ditzy out of the restaurant. Pinkie and I watched them leave, neither of them paying any heed to anypony other than each other. I couldn't help but smile.

"Looks like their date went well," I commented, turning back to Pinkie, who was quickly eating the second dessert I had promised her.

"And so did our spy mission," she quickly said between bites, "A successful evening all around."

"I wasn't spying," I protested.

"Whatever," she responded, "waiter, check please!"

The waiter brought the check and I paid without further comment. Sometimes it was just better to let Pinkie be Pinkie and leave well enough alone. Soon after, the pink party pony and I left the restaurant ourselves.

"Have a good evening, Pinkie Pie," I said as a way of saying goodnight as I turned to head back home.

"Okie dokie lokie," Pinkie said, a smile crossing her face as it always did, "see you later, Guy."

Pinkie bounced off in the direction of her home, Sugarcube Corner. All I could do was smile and shake my head.