Chapters Chapter 6: Fillies Do the Darndest Things
As my days in Equestria turned to weeks, I found myself more and more in love with the little town of Ponyville. Although I was used to the big city, something about the quaint feel and usually quiet nature of the town enraptured me greatly. And as time went by, I also found more and more interesting things to do with my time.
Sweet Apple Acres, farm and homestead of Applejack and her family, has to be one of my favorite places. It was nice to be able to just come to the farm on a random day and see what the Apples were up to. Applejack and her big brother, Big Macintosh, seemed to work almost constantly, and I often found myself in awe of just how much work they did on a daily basis. Whenever I was there, and the days I would go there would usually be a day off for me, I couldn't help but get to work myself, mostly helping AJ move the wicker baskets full of apples that she would buck right off of the trees.
"Guy! 'Eads up," Applejack calling my name snapped me out of my retrospective musings, and I turned just in time to see an apple flying toward me, which I easily caught.
"Thanks, AJ," I said before taking a big bite out of the apple. Everypony in Ponyville and probably in Equestria knew that Apple family apples were the best apples ever. I would have never eaten an apple right off a tree in my own world, but here I found that the all-natural way the Apples grew and tended the trees and the almost non-existant pollution of the town made for perfect apples from buck to bite.
"Why don'tcha 'elp me get this last load in the barn before ya go and enjoy that too much."
"Yes ma'am," I smiled, as I walked over to the most recently-bucked tree. I picked up two baskets of the apples while holding the apple I was eating in my mouth like the trained great ape that I was.
"Sure is nice when ya come around, sugarcube," AJ looked up and smiled at me, carrying a basket on her back as we made our way toward the barn. I blushed a little bit as I looked down at her, trying to smile through the apple in my mouth. I was still getting used to the polite terms of endearment some ponies had, like Applejack calling everypony 'sugarcube' and Rarity calling everypony 'darling'. It didn't bother me any, of course, but I had found that the ponies were much more open with friendship and affection, something which came with a bit of culture shock.
We reached the Apple's big red barn soon enough, the two of us stacking our baskets with all the others.
"So what's next," I asked, chewing on a big bite of apple.
"Well Ah reckon we should-"
"There he is! Ah told you girls he'd be here."
Applejack and I turned to see what looked to be a scooter pulling a little red wagon traveling up the dirt road toward the barn. When it reached us, I saw that the wagon held two fillies, and the scooter was being driven by a third. I recognized the two in the wagon, the yellow filly with the red mane and matching bow was AJ's sister Apple Bloom, while the white unicorn with the curly pink-and-purple mane was Rarity's sister Sweetie Belle. The third, however, an orange pegasus with a dark purple mane who was behind the handlebars of the scooter, I was not on a first name-basis with.
"Are you three lookin' for me," I took another bite of apple and kneeled down.
"Yeah," Apple Bloom answered as they exited their transportation and made their way over to me, "we've been lookin' for ya all morning."
"We went to Time Turner's shop," Sweetie Belle continued, "but he said it was your day off."
"And since Ah know you usually come 'ere and help my sis on your days off, we came as fast as we could."
"Well you found me," I remarked, chuckling, "so what do you need?"
"Well first," Apple Bloom began, motioning to the pegasus filly, "we had to introduce you to our other Crusader, Scootaloo."
"Good to meet you, Scootaloo," I greeted before standing back up. My shadow loomed over the three fillies, and the pegasus was noticeably awestruck.
"Wow," she breathed, "Rainbow Dash wasn't kidding when she said you were cool-looking." This elicited a laugh out of me.
"Well, if Rainbow says I'm cool, then I guess I'm cool."
"But we didn't just find you to have Scootaloo gawk at you all day," Sweetie Belle said with just a hint of sarcasm.
"Ya see," Apple Bloom continued, "we all figured that since you're something nopony has ever seen before, we might be able to learn somethin' from ya." I scratched my chin at this. You didn't have to be in Ponyville long to know that these three, the so-called 'Cutie Mark Crusaders' were just trouble waiting to happen. However, I wasn't the type to spoil their fun.
"Sounds fine to me, so long as Applejack says it's OK."
The three fillies looked past me and at Applejack with the most adorable looks they could possibly muster.
"Well shucks," the orange mare replied, "Ah reckon Ah can make do without his 'elp."
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS HUMAN RESEARCHERS! YAY!" The three of them said this with way too much volume, causing my ears to ring like a tuning fork and my brain to rattle around in my skull. I still don't know how those little fillies could be so loud.
"Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into," I mumbled under my breath.
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The three fillies led me through the orchard for awhile before we came to a clearing with one particular tree. The tree contained a tree house, built all of wood, and Apple Bloom didn't hesitate to tell me the story of how dilapidated the building had been when Applejack first showed it to them and how they had fixed it all up. The three of them quickly scampered up the wooden plank that led from the ground to the structure, and I followed them, being careful to make sure that my weight wasn't too much for it. Sure, I had seen all three of them stand on it at the same time, but I had no clue what their combined weight was, and the last thing I wanted to do was be destructive, or cause myself injury.
"OK, 'Human Researchers'," I threw up a pair of air quotes and chuckled, standing in the clubhouse, whose roof was high enough for me to, well, stand, "what's the first thing you want to know about me?"
The three fillies looked at each other, then back to me before Sweetie Belle spoke up.
"We want to see your cutie mark."
This request stopped my chuckling in its tracks. Really, I should have seen this coming. The whole point of their little club was to get them their cutie marks, so it makes sense that they would wonder about this aspect of me. Rationally, I knew I should let them down gently, particularly since I had already told Twilight this little bit of information. However, since the news obviously hadn't reached the ears of my current audience, I thought it best to go for the direct approach.
"I don't have one."
This response caused the three of them to stare at me widely and drop their jaws. They were simply baffled by this new information.
"But-but Rarity said you were an adult," Sweetie found her voice first, "how can you not have a cutie mark if you're grown-up?"
"Simple," I replied with a smile, "humans don't have cutie marks."
"So yer sayin' that humans are all blank-flanks," Apple Bloom questioned, quickly bringing her forehoof up to cover her mouth. It surprised me that she would use the term that I knew had been used to insult them so many times.
"Well, it's never been a problem for us," I said simply.
"So then, 'ow do y'all know what yer special talent is?"
"Well usually, one has to find it for oneself, the same as you ponies do. The only difference is that when, and if, we find it, we don't get a little mark telling everyone what it is. Besides, even if I had one, I would not show my 'flank' to you three. It would be...uncouth."
Sweetie Belle giggled at my use of her sister's go-to terminology.
"Does it take a long time for humans to find their talents," asked Scootaloo, who had been stone silent up to this point.
"Oh sure," I replied, waving my hand, "in fact, very few humans are fortunate enough to find exactly what they were meant to do. Some never find it at all."
"What happens to those people?"
"Well, they still have lives, they still go to work, they still have families. The only real difference is that they usually aren't as, well, happy as those who have found what they love to do."
"Did you find what you wanted to do," it was Sweetie's turn to ask a question.
"To tell you the truth, no, not in my world, anyway. Turns out I was really made to make timepieces with a brown pony named Time Turner. Interesting how life turns out, isn't it?"
The three of them once again looked to each other and back to me. By this point, I had taken a seated position. I stared back just as curiously, wondering to myself just what thoughts could be turning in the little heads of theirs.
"Um...Guy," Apple Bloom said slowly and deliberately, as if she didn't want to say anything at all, "'sit OK if'n I ask you about something else?"
"Of course, little bloom," I responded, smiling, not sure what she had on her mind, "you can ask me anything." This had the effect of brightening her up a little bit.
"Are you happier 'ere than you were there?"
I'll admit, I didn't expect such little fillies to get this deep, and I wasn't sure how to respond. If I lied to them about the situation, they would probably believe me. But lying wasn't really my strong suit, and since they were used to ponies telling the truth almost always, I figured it would be best to be as truthful to them as I could.
"Yes, Apple Bloom, I'm much happier here."
"Why is that," Sweetie asked before Apple Bloom could.
"Because," I began, using my hands to pull myself closer to the three fillies before reaching and wrapping my arms around them, pulling them into a decent hug, "I have more friends just here in Ponyville than I had in the whole world before, and all you ponies make me very happy."
"Really?" Scootaloo asked, obviously not enjoying the hug as much as the other two.
"Sure. Twilight, Fluttershy, AJ, Rarity, Rainbow, Pinkie, Spike, Time Turner, Lyra and Bon Bon, you three, and all the others, all of you have done such a wonderful job welcoming me and treating me just like anyon-, anypony, else, it's amazing."
"'Ey Guy," Apple Bloom looked up as I continued to hold onto the hug, "just one more question. Would it be OK in the future if we ask you for help in getting our cutie marks? I promise we won't bother you too often."
The other two joined their mate in looking up at me and giving me the same adorable face that they gave to Applejack earlier. All I could do was smile and shake my head.
"Now how can I say no to that?" I laughed, pulling the three tighter into the hug.
Chapter 7: Dinner With the Princesses
Princess Twilight Sparkle,
It had given me great pleasure to read about what you have learned about the newest citizen of Equestria, and everything you have mentioned so far has piqued my interest thouroughly. To that end, on behalf of Princess Luna and myself, we would like to extend an invitation for dinner to both you and this human as your guest for tomorrow night. We will send a royal carriage to bring you to the palace.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
"This is very exciting," Twilight said after she had finished reading the letter, "Princess Celestia wants to meet you personally, it's quite an honor." She seemed to be trying her hardest to keep in squeals of delight. I, on the other hand, was more interested in seeing what Rarity would come up with for me to wear to such an occasion.
"I'm sure it is," I sighed, looking down at the floor of the boutique for a moment, "Pardon me for being less that enthusiastic. It's just that I've never met a soverign before, let alone two, and I'm very nervous about it." Twilight seemed a little peeved at this last statement.
"Hey, I'm a princess too, you know," she said matter-of-factly, "And trust me, you have nothing to worry about, both Celestia and Luna are very down-to-Earth." In my heart, I knew Twilight was right. After all, she knew them better than I did. But the heightened levels of anxiety that I knew all too well just wouldn't leave my mind.
"Twilight's right, darling," Rarity beamed, coming into the room with a stack of clothing held by her blue aura of magic, "You should hear about the time we almost tore the castle apart. You can't make a worst first impression than that." This finally made me smile somewhat, of course now wondering what that story entailed, but I couldn't think about for long. "Here it is, your outfit for the evening, down to the socks." Rarity levitated the clothing stack over to me. A pair of black pants, a white, button-down, long-sleeved dress shirt, a black three-button vest, straight black tie, and a new pair of black leather dress shoes. I quickly made my way over to one of the side rooms to change while the mares worked on Twilight's wardrobe.
Before long, I was dressed and pressed for the evening. Every piece of my attire fit like a glove. I had to hand it to Rarity, this was remarkable, particularly considering she had never made clothes for a human before, and was going basically only off my measurements and what I had told her about human fashion. This was the perfect level of formal without being over-the-top for the occasion.
When I came back out to the main foyer of the boutique, I could hear the two mares talking and moving about in another room. I figured it would take them the rest of the time before the carriage arrived to get Twilight ready. For creatures that didn't wear clothes most of the time, they turned out to be just like human women when they did, spending seemingly endless amounts of time styling their manes or doing their make-up and the like. I chuckled to myself as I sat down and waited patiently for my royal escort. Fortunately for me, time must have flown by, because it wasn't long before somepony knocked on the front door. I being the only person or pony near-by, I answered it myself. There stood a peagsus stallion, clad in golden armor, including a helmet. I hadn't seen pony armor yet, though it was pretty much what I expected. I could see a size-able carriage, as well as another similar pegasus just outside.
"I assume that you are the human," the pegasus said in an official tone of voice.
"That I would be," I replied, "I'll just go get Princess Twilight, and then we can be on our way."
"That's Princess Twilight Sparkle to you," the guard said with slight disgust as I shut the door and turned back inside. And just as I was about to call Twilight to tell her that our transportation was here, she and Rarity came back into the foyer. I had to admit myself that Twilight pulled off the princess look rather well. She had styled her mane in sort of a bob fashion, topped with a small crown. The dress was simple, white and purple, though quite elegant.
"I think I heard one of the royal guards," she said, going past me toward the door, "shall we?" She magically opened the door and made her way outside. When I followed I saw that the two guards bowed to her momentarily before the one who knocked open the door of the carriage for her. I swiftly made my way inside as well, and before I knew it, we were off.
For riding in a carriage being pulled through the air by a pair of pegasi, it was a surprisingly smooth trip to Canterlot, the capital city of Equestria. Twilight and I didn't talk much during the trip, my mind being far too preoccupied with how I was going to introduce myself to the princesses once we arrived. I knew that they knew some things about me from Twilight's letters, but that's not a complete substitute for first-hand face-to-face encounters. To be fair, Twilight herself seemed to be going over something in her own head, at least as far as I could tell. I had learned even in my short time in Ponyville that Twilight had this habit of moving her lips when thinking to herself, not saying anything out loud, mind, but it was still an interesting little personality quirk.
Soon enough, the awkward silence of the carriage was interrupted by the sound of wheels landing and rolling on the ground. I took a peek out of the rather small window of the carriage to confirm my suspicions that we had arrived at our destination. One of the Royal Guards opened the door to the carriage. I quickly exited first, followed by Twilight, the guards again bowing to her. Meanwhile, I was standing in awe of the Canterlot Castle. I knew it was huge, judging by the fact that you could see it from Ponyville, but up close it was just staggering, not to mention that the masonry almost shone in the light of the full moon.
"I think we should go inside now," Twilight said, snapping me out of my architecture-induced haze. She began to move toward the main entrance to the castle with me swiftly catching up to and walking alongside the princess. Two more guards, both of whom were unicorns, bowed to us as they opened the gates.
"The princesses will be waiting for you in the dining hall, Princess Twilight," one of the guards said. Twilight acknowledged him and continued to lead me through the main corridor.
For the second time, I was almost struck dumb at the beauty of the castle. The inside was supported by numerous white marble columns, reaching to a ceiling that seemed to be two hundred feet above us. Along the walls hung various banners, tapestries, and pieces of art, broken up by the occasional statue or bust. The hallway was lit by the natural sunlight coming through multiple extra large stain glass windows, each of which were very colorful and seemed to depict some sort of scene, though I didn't have the time at the moment to study each one in detail. Twilight chuckled a little in amusement at my gawking, to which I only smiled and shook my head.
After a spell, the two of us turned down a different hallway which came to a dead end at a large wooden double door, again manned by two unicorn guards.
"The princesses have been awaiting your arrival," one of the guards said as they bowed, they then proceeded to open up the doors.
Now I was feasting my eyes upon the royal dining hall. An almost impossibly long table was the centerpiece, covered by a fine white silk cloth. Each place at the table was set with what I would later confirm to be silver platewear with stainless steel utensils. The walls of this room were again decorated with multiple pieces of art.
"I'm so glad you both arrived safely," a new voice said, again breaking me out of my thousand-yard stare. I turned to see not one, but two alicorns standing before us.
On my right was an all-white alicorn. She was very tall, the tallest pony I had yet seen, and the only creature thus far who could look me straight in the eyes without flying. Her tri-color mane and tail seemed to be ever-flowing, as if there was a breeze that only affected her.
On the left stood another alicorn, this one with a dark blue coat. She was slightly shorter than the first one, but if you included her horn, she also reached six feet. Her mane and tail billowed in a similar way, though due to their similar dark blue coloring and sparkling, star-like flecks it seemed like they were made of the night sky itself.
It didn't take me two guesses to know who these two were.
"Princess Celestia, Princess Luna," Twilight cheerily greeted, walking up to the two rulers. I stood stock-still, my nerves starting to get to me again. I could feel little beads of sweat begin to form on my brow as I was unsure how I should proceed, whether they would greet me, or whether I should greet them first. Fortunately, Twilight helped me out. "Princesses, I'd like you to meet Guy," she said, motioning with her hoof as the two taller alicorns continued their path toward me, "this is the human I've been writing to you about." When the introduction was finished, the two of them were not five feet infront of me. I took a deep breath.
"Your majesties," I greeted, bowing at the waist and casually lifting both of my arms out and away from my body. I held the bow for a few seconds before rising again to look Princess Celestia dead in the eyes.
"It is a pleasure to meet you," the princess of the sun greeted.
"Yes, 'tis a pleasure," said the princess of the night.
I let out a deep sigh, happy to see the hard part was over with.
"Come, let us eat," Celestia said, turning back toward the table. Luna and I followed, as did Twilight when we passed her again. As we were walking, Twilight looked up and gave me a little smile, one that I returned.
When we reached the table, I saw that it was wide enough to have not one, but two ponies seated at the head. Celestia and Luna took their respective positions, while Twilight and I took the first seats on the sides, Twilight on Celestia's side, and I on Luna's. A finely-dressed unicorn waitstaff stood behind each chair, magically pulling them out for us, and carefully pushing it back in. I had to admit that I wasn't used to be waited on quite like this, and I certainly could never get used to it, but such was the perks of being an honored guest of the princesses, I suppose.
As the first course of the meal, a light salad, began, I could see Celestia and Twilight quickly making light conversation, no doubt catching up on the many things that were happening in Ponyville and across the empire. I quietly enjoyed the food and picked up on one or two little things in their conversation, but decided to stay out of it. Luna seemed to be of similar mind, eating her salad, usually with her eyes closed, and choosing to forgo talking for the time being.
The second course was a vegetable soup, which I found to be of very high quality. Naturally, the castle employed only the best chefs and bakers they could find, and they did not disappoint. As I continued to eat and enjoy myself, I began to find it odd that Celestia had not yet addressed me directly. Of course, she already knew everything I had told Twilight, and perhaps that was all she needed, or wanted, to know. But on the other hand, she had specifically extended an invitation for dinner to me, so there had to be some reason. However, she wasn't the only princess in the room.
"Art thou tense," Princess Luna asked. I stopped mid-spoonful to turn and look at her, wondering whether she had actually been speaking to me or not. "Thou seem," she cleared her throat, "at a loss for words."
"Well your highness," it was now my turn to clear my throat, "when I'm in unfamiliar situations, I do tend to be rather cautious. So to answer your original question, yes I suppose I am a little tense."
"Be not so formal," the princess responded, turning her head slightly to the side, "We prefer to be called Luna." I smiled and chuckled just a little, more at her use of long-forgotten syntax than at her request. I wondered to myself if many ponies had trouble understanding her.
"OK...Luna," I bowed my head slightly before looking across the table to Twilight, who seemed to be going on and on to Celestia about something, "answer me this, are those two going to talk like that all evening?" Luna momentarily shifted her gaze to her sister, then back to me.
"More than likely so," Luna said with a slight sigh, "dearest Twilight Sparkle is our sister's favorite student, after all." I smiled and nodded before ingesting the last spoonful of my soup. Princess Luna did the same.
Before I even had time to say something else, the waitstaff brought the third course, the main course. This was a splendid spread of pasta with just the perfect amount of sauce, served with more vegetables and a side of garlic bread. And though I had been drinking water up to this point in the meal, the unicorn waiter almost insisted that I switch to wine, which I accepted with Luna's recommendation. Soon enough I had a glass of red sitting in front of me, the perfect compliment to a pasta dish.
"So...Luna," I started again, still getting used to calling an all-powerful royal by her first name, "since I'm here, I'd just like to comment on the night sky. I find it very pleasing to look at." This caused a beaming grin of pride to cross Luna's face.
"We thank thee for thou most generous compliment," she said, the grin still plastered to her muzzle, "We are glad that thou thinks so highly of our creation."
"Well, it isn't everyday that one gets to meet the being responsible for causing such phenomenon." By this point, Luna had returned to her more demure expression.
"Yes, Twilight Sparkle did tell us about how the sun and moon work in your world. We found it very confusing, truth be told. All of it seems so, random."
"It's random and it's not random at the same time," I replied, jumping into full-on scientist mode, "that's the beauty of it. But I suppose that now. seeing the difference between my past world and this one, it is quite nice to have a full moon to look at every night."
"Are thou sure of this knowledge?"
"Twilight asked the same thing. Yes, I am sure. It's been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. Hell, my species have even had people walk on the Moon."
This almost caused Luna to do a spit-take. "'Tis a lie! If thou Moon is similar to our Moon, how did thou species survive? We were there for a thousand years, but we are immortal."
"Well, its very complicated and took a lot of technology. Nobody could just snap their fingers," I literally snapped my fingers to show Luna what the expression meant, "and go to the Moon."
Luna's mini-outburst had caught the attention of Twilight and Celestia, who looked at the two of us on the other side of the table with curiosity.
"Is everything alright, Luna," Celestia asked.
"Yes, everything is most alright," Luna replied, slightly blushing from embarrasment as she regained her composure, "We think we may have gotten a little too excited."
"I was just telling her that humans walked on the moon," I stated innocently.
"Oh boy," Twilight muttered, though still loud enough so that we could all hear her, "that explains a lot."
I smiled and chuckled to myself as we all returned to our meal, finishing the main course in mostly silence. The end of the third course meant the beginning of the fourth and final course: dessert. The waiters floated over to each of us a small plate, upon which sat a reasonably-sized slice of cheesecake, topped with strawberry drizzle and an entire whole strawberry.
"Forgive us for our rudeness earlier," Luna said before I could even take my first bite, "We are still trying to wrap our head around some of the things we've heard about thou world." I shook my head and waved my hand.
"Think nothing of it, Luna. If Twilight came to my world and tried to explain to me how everything works here, I would have trouble believing it myself."
"We suppose it's a bit of a shock on both ends then, correct?"
I just nodded in answer.
The four of us finished our delectable dessert. Once the waitstaff had cleared the table, Celestia rose from her seat.
"I do apologize," the princess of the sun began, "but it has been quite a long day, and I am very tired. I think I shall retire for the night. Twilight, you and your guest are more than welcome to stay here at the castle tonight. The guest rooms have already been prepared. Goodnight."
Before she could leave, I hastily rose from my own seat and made my way into her path. I bowed, though in a simpler fashion than I had done before, and eventually returned to a standing position. "Thank you very much for your gracious hospitality. It has been an honor meeting you, your majesty."
"It has been an honor to meet you as well. I am sorry that we could not converse as much as I would have liked, but I am sure Twilight will continue to inform me on everything that you tell her."
"I'm sure she will," I replied with a slight laugh.
Celestia made her way out of the dining hall. Twilight soon got up as well.
"I'm going to turn in too," she said, "that meal was very filling. Goodnight Luna, goodnight Guy."
Luna and I said our goodnights to her in turn, before a royal guard entered the room, presumably to escort her to her chambers for the night. I returned to my seat beside Luna and had the waiter top off my wine glass.
"Art thou not yet tired?"
"Surprisingly, no," I replied, taking a sip of wine, "You would think I would be, it's been a long day."
"Well if thou wish to accompany us, there is something that we wish to show thou." It was now Luna's turn to get up out of her chair, and I soon did the same, grabbing my wine glass and following the princess out of the dining hall.
I followed the princess of the night down one hallway, then another. Eventually we came to a room which was manned by another guard. Luna said something to him, and then entered the room. I followed behind, the guard not paying me any mind. The room was a bedroom, and a giant one at that. On one side sat a large four-post bed, completely surrounded by blue curtains not unlike the shade of blue in Luna's mane. As I looked around, I noticed a heavy theme of nighttime, stars, and moons. I quickly realized that this was Luna's chamber.
"Umm...Princess Luna," I began with hesitation, "something tells me that I shouldn't be in this room."
"Well then, 'tis a good thing we are going to the balcony then." Luna replied with a chuckle as she moved toward the far side of the room, swishing her tail slightly. I wondered to myself if all the ponies in Equestria were giant flirts, or if I was just imagining things. The princess of the night opened the double oak-wood doors that led to her private balcony. She then used her magic to levitate a black leather sofa out onto it. "Come, stargaze with us."
I decided to accept the invitation, walking across the room and out to the balcony before taking a seat on the far right side of the sofa, still holding my glass of wine. Luna soon took her own place, taking up the other two-thirds of the sofa, facing me. For a moment, we looked at each other, a slight smirk coming across her face.
"Does our presence make thee uncomfortable," she said with no unusual inflection.
"Not in the slightest," I replied, taking another sip of wine and turning my head forward, toward the darkness. "So, just how does one go about creating a night sky?" Now I was the one wearing the smirk as I turned back toward the princess, awaiting an answer.
"'Tis not as difficult as thou mayest think. Time-consuming, yes, but difficult, nay."
"I suppose as long as you only have to do it once," I began to chuckle, "Imagine...imagine if every night, in addition to raising the moon, you also had to put each and every star in its place. That would take all night!" By this point I was in full-blown, perhaps alcohol-induced laughter. Fortunately, Luna decided to join in on this levity.
"That would be a daunting task indeed," she replied, finding it hard to keep up her esteemed speech while chortling, "but at least then we would have something to do all night." This set off another round of enjoyable laughter for both of us.
Eventually, we both calmed down, and simply had cheesy grins plastered to our faces. Now our stargazing began in earnest, with Luna pointing out various stars and constellations to me as I sat there. Of course, all the stars are different, so this was all new to me, but I found the patterns quite easy to recognize and find, a nice thing to have at hand if I found myself awake one night bored. We talked at length about the different constellations and their meanings, I regaled her with various stories concerning the ancient Greeks and Romans who named most of the constellations in my world. Many hours passed in this fashion before I lazily drifted off to sleep.
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When I awoke in the morning, probably right after the sun had been risen, I found myself confused by my surroundings. I was on top of a bed, that much I could be sure of, a large bed topped with sheets of the finest quality, and pillows that felt just like the clouds that Rainbow Dash had shown to me in an attempt to explain how the weather worked. Around the bed were shades, all drawn, with very familiar patterns on them.
Realizing where I was, I sat up instantly, all the blood rushing to my head and the light hangover I was experiencing from all the wine I had consumed. I tried to shake it off and make my way up, but my efforts were interrupted.
"Good to see thou has risen," it was Luna's voice, "Twilight Sparkle told us that thou are an early riser." The curtains to my immediate left, the near side of the bed, were magically drawn open to reveal the princess of the night standing there, sans clothing. Of course, this was normal among ponies, but I figured with some foreign creature in her bed, she would at least don a nightgown. "We were just coming to see if thou planned on partaking in breakfast." She said this a bit too loud, and I winced, holding my head in mild pain. I saw that she immediately put a hoof to her mouth, aware of how I was feeling.
"Breakfast sounds lovely," I softly replied, waiting for the pain to subside, "Why am I in your bed?"
"Thou fell asleep on the sofa. We took the liberty of moving thou sleeping form to our bed. 'Tis not as if We use it in the evening, anyhow."
"I hope that's the only liberty you took," I mumbled, still groggy, but not groggy enough to notice that I was no longer wearing my tie, vest, or shoes.
"Did thou sayest something?"
"No, no," I turned to address Luna directly, "just give me a minute, and I'll be up and ready."
I slowly inched myself around on my backside until my feet were parallel with the floor. I saw that my shoes were not far away, so I reached down, picked them up and put them on. At this point I noticed that my vest and tie were slung over a near-by chair. Good thing I knew where they were, I would hate to go home and have Rarity angry with me for losing some of the garments she made. Besides, I had plans to wear the vest again sometime.
After finishing with my shoes, I followed Luna back down the same hallway we had come last night and into the royal dining hall once again. As soon as the double doors were opened, my nostrils were filled with the smell of the food that I consider heaven on Earth: cinnamon rolls. I had only had them once before in Equestria, and that was courtesy of Pinkie. I presumed that Twilight had told Celestia of my love of the sweet pastries and she in turn had made it a special occasion to have them while I was here.
By the time Luna and I had reached the hall, Twilight and Celestia were already there, though while Celestia had taken the same seat that she had sat in the previous evening, Twilight was now seating in what had been my seat. I took this as an invitation to sit next to Celestia through breakfast.
And what a breakfast spread it was. In addition to the stack of warm, gooey cinnamon rolls in front of us, there were baskets filled with various fruits and each place was served a large glass of apple juice. This was possibly the best breakfast of my life and I was having it with the immortal co-rulers of the entire country. If I had been Rarity, I would have magically pulled in a chaise lounge and fainted dead away.
Once all four of us were seated, the three alicorns each magically took a cinnamon roll off of the stack. I smirked and chuckled at the ease with which those magic-users could do their stuff. In jest, I motioned my right hand and arm forward and closed my eyes, as if I was trying to do magic myself. Then, somehow or another, I felt the sticky goodness of icing on my fingers and closed my index finger and thumb onto the pastry. My eyes shot open to reveal myself holding a cinnamon bun which in turn was being held by a dark blue aura, the same color as Luna's glowing horn. I smirked and licked my lips before pulling the cinnamon roll to my mouth and taking a big bite with such ferocity that a certain porcelain unicorn would call it animalistic. This elicited laughter from my audience, as I sat there smiling like a fool, icing caked on the corners of my mustachioed upper lip.
We all dived into our respective breakfasts after my little show. Twilight was talking to Luna, though the princess of the night seemed to be doing her best to listen without giving off the impression that she was bored. I knew that feeling. Meanwhile, I again wasn't sure if I should address Celestia first or wait for her to initiate conversation with me.
"I do hope that you slept well last night," the princess of the sun suddenly asked me, right as I was in the middle of a bite. After hastily swallowing the piece of pastry I answered.
"Well enough, though I did wake up with a bit of a headache, though that was easily remidied by this scrumptious spread."
"Too much wine," Celestia asked knowingly.
"Too much wine," I conceded.
"I only ask because the guard assigned to your guest room told me that he didn't see you all night. Where were you?"
I quickly glanced over to Luna and then back to Celestia, neither of them seemed to notice, "Let's just say I fell asleep earlier than I expected, and thus didn't make it to my room."
"Don't tell me you slept on the floor somewhere," the princess said with a snicker.
"Oh, of course not, if I had, I wouldn't be in such a good mood, cinnamon rolls or no cinnamon rolls. I slept in a bed, but not the bed you set aside for me. Please don't think that I don't appreciate your hospitality all the same."
"I know you appreciate all of this, you told me last night, if you remember."
"I remember. I didn't have that much wine."
"By chance," Celestia turned her whole head in Luna's direction for a moment before returning her gaze to me and continuing, "did you share a bed with somepony?"
I hacked and coughed at this question, doing my best not to spit out my juice. Did Princess Celestia, the co-ruler of the land, just imply that I had sex with her sister!? One of the waitstaff gave me a few pats on the back until I assured them that I wasn't choking. This also had the effect of drawing the attention of Luna and Twilight from the across the table.
"Your majesty," I finally was able to say, "if I had, I'm sure one of your guards would have told you about it."
"Don't think that I'm trying to embarrass you."
"Well you're certainly doing an excellent job of that," I replied sarcastically. I literally bit my tongue after saying this, afraid of insulting one of my guests, "I'm sorry, that was impolite of me."
"I am sorry as well for making such accusations and presumptions," Celestia apologized, her voice dropping in volume, "but between you and me, I worry about Luna's personal life, perhaps a little more than I should."
"Well she is your little sister," I mimicked Celestia's whisper, "it doesn't surprise me that you worry about certain things concerning her more than any other pony."
The four of us finished our breakfast soon after this short conversation. Twilight and I said our good-byes to our guests, I even received a full-blown, unexpected, hug from Luna. The pages of the castle had fetched my vest and tie, the former of which I donned again. Soon, I and my royal escort were off in another pegasus-drawn carriage.
"So what did you and Celestia talk about," Twilight immediately questioned me as we begun our journey home.
"Oh, the same stuff about my old world. She's almost as fascinated as you are. I'm quite surprised she had any questions for me that you hadn't asked me yet."
"Like what," Twilight tilted her head.
"State secrets," I smirked.
"Princess, remember?"
"Still confidential."
I could tell Twilight wasn't happy with my lie, but she didn't call me out for it. She seemed to be turning the thought around in her head about what Celestia could have asked me, perhaps so that she didn't repeat the question later, or perhaps because it would say something about Celestia.
"So," Twilight once again began conversation, "who's bed did you sleep in if you didn't sleep in your own chambers?"
"Oh wouldn'st thou like to know," I said with a smile and a wink, which caused Twilight to blush vehemently.
"Um, uh, uh, for-forget I asked, OK?"
"Whatever you say, your majesty."
Chapter 8: Time to Get the Mail
I'm not exactly sure what Twilight had said to Time Turner to convince him that I was a fast learner, but I was never one to disappoint. By the time the dog days of summer rolled around, I was good enough at not only clock-making, but clock-fixing that Time Turner would allow me at times to be in the shop working all on my own. It was during just one of these times when a very interesting development began. I was fixing a little Cuckoo Clock that Lyra had brought in, when the bell hanging above the front door chimed. I looked up from my work to see a gray pegasus with a blonde mane fly through the door carrying a sizeable brown package.
"Let me get that for you, Ditzy," I said, quickly making my way around the counter to retrieve the box. The last thing I wanted was for her to accidentally fly into one of the wall displays. Ditzy Doo was sweet, and a nice enough mare, but also a known klutz. Because of this, some of the ponies around town referred to her as "Derpy Hooves". I didn't care much for the nickname and insisted on only using her real name.
"Thanks a lot, Guy," she said as I took the box from her. With her front hooves now free, she landed on the floor.
"This a package for Time Turner," I asked, noticing that the box, despite its size, was quite light, "I thought the mail didn't get delivered today."
"Oh...well, it usually doesn't," Ditzy replied, trying her best not to make eye contact, "but this one showed up as express delivery, so I figured it was important." She finally was able to look up at me with those little crossed eyes of hers.
"Well thank you, Ditzy," I acknowledged, placing the box on the counter, "is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Um...well, now that you mention it...is Time Turner around?"
"You just missed him actually, said he had to go to his house really quick. I'm sure he'll be back in a minute if you want to wait."
"Um...no, no, I'll just, uh, try to find him later. Bye, Guy."
"Bye Ditzy."
The mailmare went back through the door very quickly, as if she was in a hurry to get somewhere. I shook my head and returned to Lyra's clock, deciding to wait until Time Turner got back before seeing what was inside the package.
I didn't have to wait very long, fortunately, as my colleague returned to the shop only a few minutes later, just as I had predicted. He noticed the big package immediately.
"Hmmm, and what is this," he asked, examining the box.
"Oh, Ditzy came and delivered it," I explained, not looking up from my work for the time being, "said it was marked express."
"Well that's odd, I shouldn't have anything arriving today. Wait, you said Ditzy was here?"
"The one and only."
"Did she, by chance, say anything else?"
"Well, she did say she was looking for you, but when I told her you'd be back soon, she left in quite a hurry."
"Oh my," Time Turner sounded uncharacteristically nervous, shifting his weight from one hoof to the other, "Guy, can...can you keep a secret?"
This made me finally look up from what I was doing, "Sure Time Turner, what is it?"
"Well...you see...um," he was still acting strange and couldn't seem to stand still. He was looking around as if to make sure nobody else was around, "I...I sort of, oh blast how do you say it, I sort of have a...a crush on Ditzy."
"Ha, that's great Time Turner," I said, throwing my arms wide, my eyes getting rather big, "So, when are you going to ask her out?" This question seemed to paralyze him.
"Oh no, I...I can't do that. What if...what if she says no, or doesn't have any feelings for me? No, I can't let that happen, oh, no, no, no."
I found myself quite bemused to see the usual straight-laced pony acting in such a way. I went back to the workbench and picked up a flat-head screwdriver with the intent of using it to open the package.
"I don't think you need to worry," I said, ripping and tearing the masking tape that sealed the box shut, "Even if she doesn't like you like that, there's no way she would be mean about it." Opening the box, I looked inside and a huge grin broke across my face. "And if you ask me, I would say she likes you the same way."
"What makes you think that?"
"Because," I mused, turning the box onto its side so that Time Turner could see, "this package is empty." The pony's eyes got real big, and his jaw hung just a little bit.
"But...but why would Ditzy deliver an empty box?"
"Isn't it obvious," I asked, coming around the counter and standing next to him, "She used this package as an excuse to come and see you. That's why she freaked out when I said you weren't here. She was expecting you to be here alone, not me."
The Earth pony stood there for a moment, still trying to process all the information he had just received, "So, you're telling me...?"
"Ditzy likes you back," I spelled it out for him, "All you have to do is ask her out. And you can do that the brave way, or the cowardly way. The brave way is that you go out right now, find her, and ask her to dinner tonight."
"No, no, no, I'm too nervous, I'd screw it up. What's the cowardly way?"
"The cowardly way is you write her a little love note, anonymously. Then I make sure she gets it."
"Ye-yeah," the clock-maker was very nervous now, "that seems like a much better idea."
"If that's what you want. Now what are you going to write," This paralyzed him all over again, to which I chuckled, "I surely hope you aren't like this on your date."
Time Turner quickly tried to regain his composure, "Well I was hoping that you could write it for me. I don't exactly have any experience in these things."
"And you think I do?"
"C'mon, Guy, I know you had marefriends in your previous world. Please just do it for me, please."
"OK, Turner, I'll do it, on one condition."
"Name it."
"You craft for me a golden wristwatch with fine diamonds for all twelve hour points."
"Done! Now can you please get on writing this thing? I'm quaking in my hooves."
He didn't need to explicitly tell me that last part, I could quite clearly see it for myself. With a smiling sigh, I returned to my work bench and, after carefully moving Lyra's clock, which I would have to finish later, brought out a quill and a sheet of paper.
While writing with a quill and ink wasn't exactly the same thing as writing with a pencil or pen, I had quickly picked up the intricacies of the writing utensil. Before long, I had crafted quite the love letter, which read as such:
My Dearest Ditzy,
I have admired you from afar for quite some time. I can not exactly place my hoof on what has attracted me to you for so long. Perhaps it is your kindness and geneality, perhaps it is the graceful manner in which you hold yourself. Hay, to tell you the truth, I am most attracted to all of you, your entire being, just the fact that you exist and are in my life in any way brings me the utmost joy.
With that in mind, I am writing you this letter in a hopeful effort to have you agree to take our relationship in a slightly new direction. To that end, I cordially invite you to dinner with me at the Cafe du Mane tonight at 7 in the evening. When you get there, simply say that you are "coming to see an old friend", they will know what this means.
Sincerely,
Your not-so-secret-anymore admirer.
With the first part of my plan completed, I quickly folded up the letter and placed it in an envelope, simply addressing it to "Ditzy". Quickly, I departed Time Turner's shop with the idea of heading over to Ditzy's house, which she happened to share with Golden Harvest, to deliver it.
Reaching my destination and fortunately not seeing anypony around, I delivered my, that is to say Time Turner's, love letter. Instead of placing it in the mailbox, which she may not check, I instead slipped the envelope under the front door. If Ditzy herself didn't discover it, at least Golden would and would be quick to pass it along. My job there done, I hoofed it, pun completely intended, back to the shop and informed Time Turner of what I had done. He seemed very satisfied and, after going over some final details, decided to give me the rest of the day off, for which I was very grateful.
The rest of my afternoon passed very uneventfully until our decided upon meeting time at the cafe. Time Turner gave the specific instructions to the maitre d' of how to treat Ditzy when she arrived. I decided to eat at the establishment as well, sort of keeping an eye on how things were going without Ditzy knowing I was there. Time Turner got a nice table for two on the patio, while my table was on the inside, but in such a way where I would be able to see them without them seeing me. I wanted Time Turner to be as natural and comfortable as possible. Of course, I wouldn't be able to hear anything they said, but I would be able to make out by their body language how the date was going.
When Ditzy arrived, I made sure to make myself scarce, the maitre d' showed her to Time Turner's table, and while, again, I couldn't hear them, I could tell that she was both shocked but not shocked at the same time. I smiled knowingly to myself, content in the knowledge that I had been right all along.
For awhile, everything was going smoothly. I was enjoying my salad that came before my main course, and the two lovebirds seemed to be getting along splendidly.
"Hey there Guy! What'cha doin'!?"
The sudden, loud, voice made me jump out of my seat. When I looked back toward where the voice came from, my look of surprise turned to one of anger. I was staring at everypony's favorite party-animal, Pinkie Pie.
"Pinkie," I said through gritted teeth, "what in Celestia's name are you doing here?"
"Eating. What are you doing here?"
"Eating."
"And..."
"There is no and..., Pinkie."
"Liar, liar, mane's on fire."
"OK, OK, you got me. But everything I'm about to tell you is extremely confidential, you can't tell anypony."
"I won't, I Pinkie Promise."
Wondering how a pony could know what a pinkie promise was, I held out my right hand, pinkie finger extended.
"Well," I said, my finger hanging there, "you said you'd pinkie promise."
"No, I said I'd Pinkie Promise, see. Cross my heart," she crossed her heart, "hope to fly," she stuck one of her hooves high into the air, "stick a cupcake in my eye," she brought the same hoof down and literally stuck it into her cornea. I wondered how that didn't hurt before remembering who I was dealing with. "So, what are you really doing here?"
"I'm observing Time Turner's date."
"Ooh," the pink pony clapped her hooves together, "you're spying on your boss! Fun!"
"No, Pinkie, I'm not spying. Time Turner knows I'm here, but his date doesn't."
"Who's his date?
I pointed out the window. Pinkie followed my extended index and gazed upon Time Turner and Ditzy Doo, laughing, probably from something Ditzy had said.
"Awww, they look so cute together, something tells me you had something to do with it."
"I was just in the right place at the right time to help both of them."
"That's really nice of you, Guy, helping two ponies get together like that. Time Turner should set you up with somepony as thanks.
The thought of Time Turner setting me up on a date made me laugh like a hyena on the inside, but sweat bullets on the outside.
"Well," Pinkie said, getting up out of her seat, "gotta go now."
"Hold on. Do you have to go? You might as well stay and keep me company over dinner. I'll buy."
My friend stared back at me with a little smirk on her face, "Only if I can get two desserts."
This demand made me finally laugh out loud, which I suppose was Pinkie's plan all along.
"Two desserts Pinkie. You might even be able to convince me to get a second," I signaled for a waiter, "a menu for the mare, please."
And so Pinkie and I had dinner together, and it was truely enjoyable. I almost forgot to keep an eye on Time Turner and his date, but never let it be said that I can't multitask.
"You know what ponies are going to be whispering tomorrow, right," Pinkie asked me after our dinner was served.
"What? About Time Turner and Ditzy? Don't see why that would be a problem."
"No, silly filly. About you and me."
"And what would they be saying about you and me. We're just two friends having dinner together, not a big deal. Not like we walked in the door hand-in-hoof." This last turn-of-phrase made Pinkie giggle.
"You've been here long enough to know that news travels fast in Ponyville. And gossip travels even faster."
"Well if Rarity says something about it to me tomorrow, I'll correct her, if need be."
"You're seeing Rarity tomorrow, oh do tell," Pinkie did her best to mimic Rarity's voice with this statement.
"Just about a new set of clothes. She's finally making me a comfortable pair of polyester exercise shorts and some sleeveless shirts. Will be a lot more comfortable when I go out and give Applejack a hand at the farm."
"Oh, well that's nice, Rarity sure is generous isn't she?"
"Isn't that what her Element of Harmony was," I inquired, "makes sense that she would embody it as much in real-life as in a little necklace."
"Do you like it when she does things for you?"
"Well I appreciate it, of course. I mean, at first it was a little strange to know someone so that was so generous and thoughtful out-of-hand, but where would I be without it? Remember Twilight and I going to see the princesses? How would I have looked if I didn't have a perfect outfit for the evening."
"Yeah, she's a great friend. Have you heard the story of the first time we all went to the Grand Galloping Gala?"
"No, I haven't," I said quizzically, "what's the Grand Galloping Gala?"
"Oh, well it's--," Pinkie seemed to have her attention taken by something else, Looks like the story will have to wait, the couple we've been spying on is getting ready to leave."
I turned by head to see that indeed, Time Turner seemed to be pocketing the bill and leading Ditzy out of the restaurant. Pinkie and I watched them leave, neither of them paying any heed to anypony other than each other. I couldn't help but smile.
"Looks like their date went well," I commented, turning back to Pinkie, who was quickly eating the second dessert I had promised her.
"And so did our spy mission," she quickly said between bites, "A successful evening all around."
"I wasn't spying," I protested.
"Whatever," she responded, "waiter, check please!"
The waiter brought the check and I paid without further comment. Sometimes it was just better to let Pinkie be Pinkie and leave well enough alone. Soon after, the pink party pony and I left the restaurant ourselves.
"Have a good evening, Pinkie Pie," I said as a way of saying goodnight as I turned to head back home.
"Okie dokie lokie," Pinkie said, a smile crossing her face as it always did, "see you later, Guy."
Pinkie bounced off in the direction of her home, Sugarcube Corner. All I could do was smile and shake my head.
Chapter 9: The Foalsitters
"You want me to do what !?"
It was less than a week after Time Turner and Ditzy's first date, and they had set up a second one. However, there was a bit of a snag. And Time Turner had hit me with it first thing in the morning.
"We just need to find a foalsitter for Dinky," Time Turner explained, "You were the first pon- person I thought of."
"I repeat my question, you want me to do what !? Foalsit. Me. No, no, no, no, no. I don't know the first thing about kids, let alone foals."
"Oh come on, it would only be a couple of hours, three at the most."
"It would only be three if you got lucky," I snapped.
"Are you insinuating that Ditzy doesn't want to do that with me?"
"I'm not insinuating anything. Why can't Golden Harvest foalsit, she did last time."
"She in Apploosa this weekend for a 'Grower's Convention' whatever the hay that is."
"I think it has to do with agriculture. What about Amethyst Star?"
"In Manehattan visiting relatives."
"What about Pinkie Pie? She foalsits for the Cakes all the time."
"And that's precisely what's she's doing tonight."
"Celestia dammit, Time Turner, you're not going to talk me into it."
"What if I promised you something, some kind of payment."
"You still owe me a watch for setting you two up in the first place, you want to be in debt to me more, be my guest."
"How about this? You do this for me tonight, and you can have the rest of the weekend off, with pay?"
Now I took notice. My boss was offering me two days off, with pay, for putting up with a foal whom I had met before for a few hours. This deserved some contemplation, which I was done with in about three seconds.
"OK, Time Turner, I'll do it."
"Thank you," he sighed in relief, "I didn't know who I would have turned to if you had said 'no'."
"And I'm sorry for acting like such an ass. I should have just said 'yes' in the beginning. You don't have to give me the two days off."
"No, no, I promised, and you'll get it."
**************************************************
That evening, the two of us went to Ditzy's house together. He to pick up his date, and me to take over foalwatching. Turner knocked on the door and Ditzy soon answered.
"There you two are," she said, as if she was expecting me all along, "come inside."
The house that Ditzy Doo shared with Golden Harvest was a very modest two-story, not unlike most of the houses in town. The front door opened to the living room in which sat a simple navy blue couch in front of a modestly-sized coffee table. The floor was covered in white shag carpet.
"Weeeeeeeee!" A voice wailed coming down the hall. The voice was that of Dinky Doo, Ditzy's unicorn filly. However, when she came into view, she wasn't running, she was flying.
Or, more correctly, she was being carried through the air by a pegasus pony. And, more specifically than that, the pegasus turned out to be Fluttershy. The pastel pegasus put Dinky down on the couch and sat next to her. The five of us all looked at one another for a moment in a state of confusion.
"Ditzy, darling," Time Turner said, "I told you I had the foalsitting problem under control."
"I know you did," Ditzy replied, "but I also knew that by 'under control' you were going to ask Guy to do it, and I knew that he might say 'no'." Well she certainly had me pegged. "So when I ran into Fluttershy and we were talking about our plans tonight, and I told her about our date, and she offered to foalsit Dinky since she knew I didn't have anypony else to do it."
"Oh, um," Fluttershy stuttered from the couch, "if you want Guy to foalsit instead, I'll just go home."
"Hold on, Fluttershy," I said, "Time Turner had to bribe me to agree to foalsit tonight. Perhaps it's better if somepony who actually wants to do it, not to mention somepony who is actually good with foals, watches Dinky instead."
"You don't want to stay and have fun tonight Guy," it was Dinky, almost lost in the shuffle among all the grown-ups in the room. She had a very sad expression on her face. Looking back on it, considering how much of an effect a little filly could have on me, no wonder a certain mare would almost adorable me to death.
"OK, OK, I'll stay," I said in a mock-upset tone with a twinkle in my eye. I took the two or three steps necessary to stand in front where Dinky was on the couch, "Do you want Fluttershy to stay too?"
"Could she," the little unicorn gasped, "can you stay, Fluttershy, can you?"
"Of course I can," the pegasus responded, "as long your mom says so."
"Of course she can," Ditzy replied, beginning to head toward the door, "you three have fun, and Dinky, remember your bedtime."
"Yes, mom," Dinky called, still sitting on the couch.
Fluttershy, Dinky, and I waved good-bye to Time Turner and Ditzy as they headed out the door on their date. It was hardly closed before Dinky started up again.
"Let's play a game, let's play a game," she cried out.
"OK, Dinky," Fluttershy said gently and motherly, "what game do you want to play?"
"Ummm, hide-and-seek."
"Oh, boy," I said, "I think it's going to be hard for me to hide anywhere in this house."
"Awww, in that case...NOT IT!"
"Not it," Fluttershy quickly and quietly said.
What the-," I reacted to being out-witted by the girls, "OK, if that's how you want to play, then you better find a good hiding spot, I'm only counting to 10. 1..."
Dinky quickly bounced off the couch and ran off somewhere, I had already closed my eyes and sat down by the time Fluttershy flew off.
There wasn't anyway I was going to be able to hear where Fluttershy was going, but I might be able to hear Dinky's hoofsteps, so I tried to concentrate on that while I counted, determined to find her first. By the time I got to a count of six, all the other sounds had stopped. I quickly finished counting.
"...and 10! Ready or not, here I come!"
I walked quickly to the laundry room where I believed Dinky to be. I opened both the washer and dryer to find them empty. Perhaps I was in the wrong room. But then I noticed a basket over-flowing with clothing, and decided to pull out a little trick. You see, when I was a kid, I was terrible at hide-and-seek, particularly the hiding part. I could find good spots, but when the seeker was around and seemed stumped, I would always giggle and give myself away. I wondered if Dinky was susceptible to the same mistake.
"Well," I said fully aloud, "it doesn't seem like Dinky's in this room.
And there it was, the faintest, muffled, stifled giggle of a filly. I took a step backward to get closer to the basket, still acting stumped. Quickly, I turned around and reached both my hands into the laundry basket, fishing Dinky out from underneath all the clothes.
"Gotcha," I cried aloud.
"Aww, you found me," Dinky giggled.
"That means you're 'It' next round," I said, still holding the filly in both of my hands, "now you have to help me find Fluttershy."
"OK! She's upstairs, probably in mommy's room."
"Oh really? Well let's go see."
The two of us trudged up the stairs, or, more correctly, I trudged up the stairs while carrying Dinky. She would have to show me around Ditzy's and Golden Harvest's rooms, since I had never been in them before.
"How are we going to find Fluttershy," Dinky asked, "she's so quiet, she'll never make a sound."
"That's true," I replied, "but she's a full-grown pegasus, there are only so many places she can hide. Have you ever played hide-and-seek with her before?"
"No."
"Oh well, no matter, we'll find her one way or another. And we'll start like this," I cleared my throat, "Hey Fluttershy, it's Guy. I already found Dinky, so if you're tired of hiding and just want to give up, we'll understand.
A whoosing sound came from what I would later learn was indeed Ditzy's room. Soon a very wide-eyed Fluttershy was standing in front of us.
"Found you," I smirked.
"Awww," Dinky complained, "that's no fun."
"Sorry, Dinky," Fluttershy timidly apologized, "but it was kind of dark and scary in there. And I was feeling a little bit afraid."
"And besides," I continued, "it's a good way to keep a good hiding place a secret. If you give yourself up, you can always use the hiding spot again."
"I guess that makes sense," Dinky said, still a little peeved that Fluttershy had just given up.
"Well in any case, your 'It' Dinky. Go downstairs to the couch and count to ten."
"OK, Guy!"
The little filly bounded down the stairs. Fluttershy was about to follow her, but I stopped the pegasus.
"Now where do you think you're going," I asked slyly.
"Ju-just looking for a place to hide," Fluttershy replied meekly.
"I have an idea that'll get us both a good hiding spot, where Dinky will never look."
"Five," we could hear Dinky count from downstairs.
"Quick," I said, "go into Ditzy's room, I'll be along in a moment."
Fluttershy darted into the bedroom while I bounded down the stairs and back up, trying to use the noise to throw Dinky off our trail. I soon entered Ditzy's room as promised. Fluttershy was making a move toward a closet, which happened to be a rather large walk-in.
"This is where I was hiding last time," she said quietly.
"Eight..."
When I stepped inside the closet, I could see that it had a higher shelf where some clothing was piled, but not so much that a klutzy pegasus like Ditzy couldn't reach it. But there was also plenty of empty space, enough room, not only for Fluttershy, but me as well.
"You think you could fly me up there?"
"Nine..."
"I could try," the buttery pegasus meekly gulped.
"Ten! Ready or not, here I come!"
Fluttershy flew behind me and wrapped her forehooves under my arms and around the barrel of my chest. She had to strain a little bit to get me off the ground, but fortunately, it wasn't a very far flight. When we landed, I was on my stomach, and Fluttershy was still clung onto my back. After unlacing her forehooves from me, she made a move to get off, but I stopped her.
"You'll make too much noise," I whispered as quietly as possible, "just stay put for a minute, I think I hear Dinky coming."
"You're right," Fluttershy responded in a level of volume that I was surprised I could even hear. She sure had this "meek and shy" thing down to a science.
We could soon hear Dinky enter her mother's room and search it high and low, or at least as high and low as she could manage. As she made her way over to the walk-in closet, I could feel Fluttershy try to back away as far from the edge as possible. I did similarly, ducking my head and reaching my hands behind me. Of course, this had the effect of wrapping my arms around the barrel of the pastel pegasus in a kind of reverse hug. This, in turn, had the unwanted consequence of causing Fluttershy to let out a squeak just as Dinky entered the closet. At first, she didn't say anything, but instead peered around, as if she was wondering where the strange sound could have come from. The two of us in hiding held our collective breath.
"Awww," Dinky whined, "that's not fair, how am I supposed to tag you 'It' if you're way up there."
I was surprised that Dinky heard us, so I did the gentlemanly thing and peered over the edge of the shelving and looked down at the little gray unicorn.
"Well, you can use magic, can't you? You figure out a way," I said, sticking my tongue out.
"Um...I-I'm up here too," it was Fluttershy, peeking her head over my shoulder.
"Ah-ha," Dinky cried out, "that explains how Guy got up there."
"Aww, c'mon Fluttershy," I said defeatedly, "I was going to give myself up. You could have hid up here for a long time."
"But I would have gotten lonely again."
I facepalmed. Dinky laughed.
After Fluttershy and I got down off the shelving, we played a few more rounds of hide-and-seek. Interestingly, Fluttershy was never "It." I suppose Dinky and I were just adamant about finding each other every time. On the positive side of things, these games had the effect of making Dinky tired, to where she was asking to go to bed early. Fluttershy and I had no problem with this request, of course, but as the three of us made our way upstairs to Dinky's room, she made a second request.
"Hey Guy, do you know any fairy tales from your world," Dinky asked, which surprised me to say the least.
"Sure Dinky," I responded, "there are fairy tales in my world just like there are here I presume."
"Do you think you could tell me one before I go to bed?"
"I think that can be arranged."
"Yay, story time."
Once in the bedroom, Dinky bounded onto the bed and quickly got under the covers. She beckoned Fluttershy to sit next to her as I stood on the other side of the bed and told the story.
"Let's see," I began, what's a good story, "Oh, I know, how about the story of the Princess and the Pea."
"I've never heard of that one," Dinky said, already yawning.
"Well, once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She was so beautiful that princes from far and wide came to ask for her hand in marriage. But none of them seemed suitable, so the princess' father would send them all away. Having seemingly seen every suitor in the entire country, the father went to a fortune-teller for advice on what to do. The fortune-teller told him to have his daughter sleep on not one, but ten mattresses, placing a feather under the very bottom one. If the delicate princess' sleep was bothered by the feather in her sleep, then that meant that the suitor she had met that day should be her husband."
By this point, both Dinky and Fluttershy were quite engrossed in the story. I had to admit to myself that I wasn't even sure if I was telling it correctly, but it didn't matter to these two.
"One day," I continued, "months later, a very unusual thing happened. Another suitor came calling, but this was not some prince or noble, but a simple street musician. Although not of any kind of breeding, the princess was quite smitten with him, for he played the most wondrous music that her ears had ever heard. However, her father would not take a proclamation of love from her as proof, not without the indication of the wondrous feather under the mattresses. That night, before the princess went to bed, she heard a rapping at her window. It was the musician, who said that he had a great idea of how to win the approval of her father. He held out one of his hands, which held a single green pea, 'Take this pea, and place it under your mattresses,' he said, 'I hate to cause unrest to the sleep of such a beautiful damsel, but I love you, and if you love me in return, you will do this one simple task.'"
My audience didn't take their eyes off of me as I reached the climax of the story.
"And so, that night, the princess tossed and turned something fierce. Even though it was only a little pea, the princess was so delicate that she could feel it right in the middle of her back, and it kept her from getting any sleep that night. The next morning, her mother saw her with bags under her eyes, and her hair all a mess, quite a change from her usual appearance. 'How did you sleep last night, darling,' the princess' mother questioned. 'Horribly,' came the answer, 'I didn't get a wink all night.' Upon hearing how her daughter's sleep had indeed been disrupted, the mother almost fainted. However, she regained her composure and called for her husband to see the sight and hear the same words. The princess repeated the explanation of her horrid palor to her father, who reacted similarly to his wife. Then he remembered the fortune-teller and the suitor who had been there yesterday, the musician. Immediately, he called the musician to return to the castle. And thus, the musician and the princess were soon wed, and they lived happily every after. The End."
"Yeah," Dinky clapped her hooves together, "a happy ending."
"Well yeah," I laughed, "what kind of story did you think I was going tell, one where the princess--," I stopped myself before I could say what I was thinking, "OK, time for bed."
Fluttershy finished tucking Dinky into the bed, and even gave her a little kiss on the forehead. I turned off the bedroom light and followed the yellow pegasus back downstairs to where our night had started: the living room couch. I flopped onto one far side while Fluttershy delicately placed herself on the far other side. I looked up to the only clock in the room, an old clock which I had been told originally belonged to Golden's grandfather. It read eight-thirty, before Dinky's bedtime, and the couple weren't expected home for another half-hour at least.
"So," I started, relaxing and turning my head toward Fluttershy, "how are we going to pass the time."
"I don't know," my co-foalsitter answered.
"It's pretty dark out," I commented, looking out the decent-sized window in the room which brought in a good amount of natural sunshine during the day, "You could leave now, if you want. Dinky's in bed, there's nothing else to do, really. Nothing to do except wait for Time Turner to bring Ditzy home. Assuming she doesn't fall asleep in his bed or something."
This bit of mature subject material made Fluttershy blush quite nicely. I swear, I wasn't doing it on purpose, but I had to admit that causing Fluttershy embarrassment was quite fun.
"You-you don't think they would actually be...doing that, do you?"
"Why not? Their adults, they can do whatever they please as far as I'm concerned."
"But, what is this, their second date?"
"He told me he hit a double on their first date."
"A double?"
"Made it to second base," I could tell Fluttershy was still confused, as I was using terminology that didn't apply to this world, "He touched one, if not both, of her teats. I think that counts as making it to second. Wouldn't be surprised if he got all the way home on the second date."
The look on Fluttershy's face was adorable. It was a perfect combination of shock and embarrassment, and almost her entire body went flush at this point. Her jaw hung open, as if she wanted to say something, but no words would come out. It was just precious.
"Guy...don't...don't talk...like that," she finally stuttered out. All this did was make the smile on my face grow wider.
"What's wrong Fluttershy? Didn't your mother ever teach you about the birds and bees?"
"Oh I know plenty about birds and bees," the animal-lover responded, obviously we weren't on the same page.
"Not like that," I said, chortling, "Like, the relationship between mare and stallion."
"Oh...OH!" now I was making progress, though she was still completely blushed, "Well...well, my mother was very...um...conservative, you might say. She believed only in mare-stallion relations during marriage."
"Do you agree with that?"
"I, um, I don't know," came the response, "I mean, I know my friends have had coltfriends and such, but I don't think about that. It's none of my business."
"You ever said that to your mother," I raised my eyebrows.
"We don't talk about that. She'd be perfectly happy if I never got married."
"She doesn't want any grandchildren?"
"Well of course she wants me to have foals, but she doesn't pressure me about it. We don't see each other a lot since my parents both live in Cloudsdale and I don't travel there often."
"Sorry if I'm prying, Fluttershy," I apologized, realizing that this was probably a touchy subject for the shy pegasus.
"Oh, that's OK."
An awkward silence followed, where neither of us knew what to do or say next. Fortunately, we were saved by the sound of the front door opening. It was Time Turner and Ditzy, both smiling.
"How was Dinky," Ditzy asked the two of us on the couch.
"She was great," Fluttershy said, her regular palor having returned to her, obviously happy that there was somepony else in the house.
"Couldn't have been better," I answered, "in fact, she's already asleep."
"Really," Ditzy said with some shock, "usually it's a chore to get her to go to bed."
"Oh, well, Guy told a very good bedtime story and she fell right asleep."
"Really, Guy," now it was Time Turner's turn to be shocked, "you don't strike me as a story-telling type."
"You learn something new everyday," I responded, "now since both of you are here, I think I'll be going home."
"Me too," Fluttershy said immediately behind me, "goodnight Time Turner and Ditzy."
"Goodnight, you two," I followed.
"Goodnight," they responded at the same time.
Fluttershy and I left the house at the same time, though we were going in two different directions. As Fluttershy flew off in the semi-darkness of the streetlamp-lit streets, I just watched, laughing to myself about our little conversation.
Chapter 10: Alone With My Problem
That night, as I slept, I had another one of those damned dreams that I hated so much. This time, there was no fog. I could see clearly my entire surroundings, and I could even move around. I seemed to be standing on a rather large rock in the middle of some sort of large river. I say river, since the water was flowing, and even splashing up onto the rock a bit, getting my tennis shoes wet. At first, I thought it was just a strange first act of a dream that would sort itself out. That was, until I heard that voice which was like sandpaper to my ears.
"And here we are," it said.
"Oh, shut up," I countered, not in the mood for this, "I've had a long day, the least you could do is let me rest."
"What's the fun in that? You know I like playing mind games with you."
"Oh, ha, ha, ha. How long have you been holding onto that joke?"
"You'd be surprised by how funny I can be at times. You just don't understand my sense of humor. You never did."
"That's because you never had one," I deadpanned, "OK, so you got me standing on a rock in the middle of a surging river which I can't even begin to think about crossing. I'm guessing this is another one of your bloody puzzles, isn't it?"
"Give the man a reward."
"Obvious representation of how I am the lone rock in the river. Forever destined to simply be passed by by those around me, affecting the lives, or 'flow' of some people, but never for very long. What's my reward?"
"OK, maybe I did make this one a little too obvious."
"Not to mention you've used this message before. That I'm alone, that I'm all alone, and that will never change. Well I've got a newsflash for you, I haven't been feeling very alone recently."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, really. These ponies have been very nice to me. I came out of the clear blue sky, literally, and they have treated me like one of their own. They are the most kind, respectful, docile, accepting, creatures I have ever had the good fortune to encounter. And if being with them means I have to put up with you a couple of times, then bring it, bitch!"
I felt a blast of cold air hit me right in the chest, and then a much more specific slap across the face, left-to-right. This shot caused my head to twist, but I quickly righted myself.
"How dare you call me that!" the voice screamed, nothing I wasn't used to, "I should just throw you in this river and kill you!"
"You wouldn't do that," I said calmly, tasting blood in my mouth, "if I die, you die as well. You can only keep having fun with me if I stay alive. Makes me wonder sometimes why you're so adamant to see me kill myself."
Another stream of air rushed in from my left and swirled around, leaving some vapor floating in front of me. It slowly materialized into a physical form. Before long, a woman, a couple inches shorter than me, of average build, sporting shoulder-length black hair with multiple piercings in each ear, stood before me. Like every other time she had actually physically shown herself off in one of my dreams, she appeared in the last outfit I had seen her in, a black spaghetti-strap halter top which ironically read "Bitch" with a matching black skirt, which showed off not only a little bit of midriff, but the lengthy legs which I had to admit were her best physical feature.
"It's not like I pushed you off that damn bridge."
"Oh come on, Kirsten, that's like an executioner saying they didn't kill the man, they simply turned on the electric chair."
"Well, Alan--,"
"Guy," I interrupted.
"What?"
"I prefer Guy, the name the ponies gave me. It helps me to forget nightmares like you."
"You're such a pussy sometimes, you know that?"
"I just love it when you have to descend to name-calling. It means I'm winning."
Another gust of cold air blasted my left leg and buckled it, knocking me down onto the same side of my face which had received the slap. Once again I tasted the salty aftertaste of my own blood. Kirsten took a few steps in her three-inch heels to cross the rock and stand over me, giving me a swift kick to my midsection to let me know she was there.
"Your knees always were your weak spot."
"If this is how you want to play, bitch," I responded between coughs of blood, "then let's--"
I was interrupted by the sky becoming very dark and cloudy. A slight fog set in between me and my assailant.
"What the fuck," she said, backing off, "this isn't my doing."
Quickly, she returned to her vaporous form and disappeared from the rock. With her gone and the fog getting deeper, I laid on my stomach, allowing the blood to seep from the corner of my mouth. Just when I thought the nightmare was over and I would wake up, another voice came out of the fog, but one that I actually appreciated hearing.
"Art thou alright," it was Princess Luna's voice.
"No. No I'm not alright," I slowly said, having to keep myself conscious in an unconscious dream-state, which is just about as weird as it sounds, "Luna, help me."
I was swiftly enveloped in the fog. All I could do from my prone position was close my eyes and wait to see how Luna intended to help. When I opened my eyes again, I had completely changed positions. I was now on my back, looking up at a picturesque sky filled with many puffy white clouds. After sitting up on the grassy hillside, I looked out onto a crystal clear lake.
"Beautiful, is it not?"
"Yes, Luna," I turned to my right to face the sitting princess, "it is."
"We expect that thou would appreciate an explanation."
"That would be nice," I answered, turning back toward the lake.
"As the Princess of the Night, one of our duties is to come into the dreams of our subjects and protect them. This often leads to what We like to call 'nightmare-busting'."
"Which is what you did for me. I'm surprised you can come into my dreams, seeing as I'm not a pony."
"Yes, 'twas a surprise for us as well. I saw the last time you had a nightmare like this one, but I couldn't do anything about it. We suppose that between then and now, thou has become much more accepted as a being in this world, particularly by our subjects, and thus are susceptible to our magic."
"Well I'm glad you showed up."
"Pray tell, who exactly was that attacking thou?"
I sighed and rubbed both my hands over my face. It was at this point that I realized that there was no more blood taste in my mouth. I guess since you can't bleed in a dream, Luna's magic had stopped my bleeding.
"You don't want to know," I finally answered, my hands still covering my face.
"Will the she-devil return?"
I laughed at Luna calling Kirsten a "she-devil." I would have to use that one the next time we crossed paths.
"Yes, she will. Eventually, anyway."
"What would she have done with thou."
"Oh, probably torture me with memories for six hours or so and make sure I wake up in the middle of a REM cycle so that I'm tired when I awake."
"'Tis dreadful!"
"You haven't heard the half of it."
"Pray tell."
I sighed again, trying to figure out if I could stall this entire conversation to where I wouldn't have to tell the princess anything.
"That she-devil bitch that you scared away," I started, "was my last real girlfriend, marefriend, whatever, Kirsten. She destroyed my life."
"How did one little ass ruin thou life?"
"I'm afraid if I tell you here, that it will bring back the nightmare," I said flatly. I once again sunk my head in my hands.
"'Tis alright," Luna said, first sadly, but then she perked up, "We shall simply visit thou in the morn. Expect us when thou wakest up. Which should be in just a few seconds."
"What do you--"
***************************************************
I awoke from my nightmare-turned-dream in a surprisingly good humor. My grogginess was broken by a series of knocks on the front door. Noting that Twilight and Spike were still asleep, I got up, wearing the pair of athletic shorts Rarity had made me, threw on a shirt and headed downstairs to answer the door. When I opened it, none other than the midnight blue-maned princess of the night was standing there.
"Pr-Princess Luna," I stuttered, momentarily forgetting what she had told me.
"Why art thou surprised? Did We not tell you that We would be visiting thou in the morning?"
"Yes, yes you did. I had just forgotten for a moment. Um, I would invite you in, but I wouldn't want to wake Twilight and Spike."
"Understood. Perchance thou would accompany us on a walk. There is much to discuss about thou nightmares."
I nodded, exiting the library, being particularly cautious to close the door quietly. For a moment I thought of the scene Twilight might make if she woke up and couldn't find me, but I quickly put that fear to rest.
I led Luna on a walk to the far side of town, near Sweet Apple Acres. I was walking barefoot, which was a little unusual, but it wasn't completely uncomfortable. Applejack had on multiple occasions questioned my need for footwear, as all the ponies got by without them everyday. I had explained to her, and others, that human feet weren't as hardy as pony hooves, and that I could easily hurt myself without anything covering them.
"So, wherest thou were we in our little dream chat," Luna asked as we headed down the dirt road.
"You asked me how the she-devil ruined my life," I glumly responded, mentally slapping myself for providing the correct answer and missing a perfect opportunity to change the subject.
"Ah yes, 'tis a troubling story, surely."
"You took the words out of my mouth," I conceded, "in fact, I'm not sure I can tell it without being brought to some kind of emotional breakdown."
"'Tis only us," Luna reassured me, "We would not judge thou, no matter how much thou cry."
"Who said anything about crying?"
"Thou mentioned emotions, didsn't thou not?"
I couldn't tell at this point whether Luna was just messing with me or if she knew more than she was letting on. I presumed that she had been privy to all the pertinent information about me and my world that I had told Twilight during our little talks, but I had never told Twilight about Kirsten or any of it. I had always avoided the subject for my own safety.
However, there was something about walking with an immortal princess, one who was being so sympathetic to my situation, that calmed me.
"OK Luna," I finally conceded, "I'll try to explain. We can sit by the lake. It's just around this bend."
Indeed, around the next bend in the road sat the local swimming hole, one of Rainbow Dash's favorite places to take a nap. Fortunately, it being so early in the morning, there was no sign of anypony. Luna and I sat down on the water's sandy edge.
"We are waiting with baited breath," Luna said, completely serious.
"Well, I don't know what you've heard from Twilight or Celestia about my mental condition, but I haven't been healthy for a very long time."
"We have heard," Luna looked at me intently, "We give our condolences that thou feelest upset."
"I was happy for awhile," I continued, "I had a lot of good things. I had a decent-enough job, I had disposable income, everything I ever wanted. Then I met Kirsten."
"Is that the cursed harpy's name?"
"Yes. At first I saw her as, I don't know, some kind of dark angel. She was beautiful, snarky, and into a lot of the same things I was, and into some other things that I would learn that I was."
"That does not sound bad."
"It wasn't. It was great. For the first month or so of our relationship, everything was going swimmingly."
"What changed?"
"I'm not sure what changed," I could feel the emotions catching up in my chest, "Maybe it had been happening the entire time and I just didn't notice, but she began to mentally manipulate me."
"Thou seem a little too smart to be manipulated."
"I've said that exact thing to myself so many times," I felt the first tears begin to well up, I sniffed them back down, "I shouldn't have let it happen."
"Thou did not 'let' anything happen to you. If she acted all the time as We saw her in your nightmare, then thou were being abused."
"That's one thing I've been wondering about?"
"What is that?"
"She may have been verbally and mentally abusive, but she was never physically abusive in real life. But she is in the nightmares all the time."
"But that isn't really her," Luna said in her best therapist voice, "it is simply thou mind's representation of the harpy. Thou mind feels the pain much more than any other part of thou, and thus makes her act much worse than she did in the real world. But do not think that We are saying that what happened to thou in your world was proper behavior."
"I know you're not saying that, Luna."
"What did thou do when thou realized that the relationship was dangerous?"
"I ended it."
"And that wasn't it?"
"No, unfortunately, she wouldn't let go. I already had some mental scars from previous incidents in my childhood, and she knew about those. She used those against me, constantly trying to remind me and make me worse."
"How was that harpy still around after thou ended the relationship?"
"We had friends in common, and they took sides. Some felt that she was a total bitch that was making me unhappy, but some thought that I ended it because I couldn't handle her issues, in other words, that I wasn't enough of a man to be with her. Most of these critiques I could laugh off as just plain stupidity, but some latched onto my psyche like fucking parasites."
"The nerve of some ponies, uh, people."
"I believe the word you're looking for is 'assholes'," I half-laughed, "Anyway, it all came to a head when she attempted suicide. Swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills. Unfortunately, the bitch was drunk when she took them, so they didn't even make her drowsy, let alone kill her. However, she had written a suicide note, blaming me for driving her to the fatal decision, which wasn't true at all. Like I said, she had her own issues. But after being in the ER after her failed attempt, all her friends latched onto the note and began harassing me. I tried to ignore it all as best I could, but even in a big city, it spread like wildfire. She was even part of a small newspaper report about what drives female suicide. Her piece was all about the terrible boyfriend, and this just made the fires grow. Soon, everyone who recognized her name and knew that I had been her last boyfriend before her attempt shunned me. Suddenly, I didn't have anybody I could talk to or count on. I still went to my therapist and psychiatrist, but then the dreams started," I was crying at this point, "I would go three, four days without getting any sleep, because as soon as I shut my eyes, the nightmare would begin."
That was all I could take. I began to breakdown. I laid on my back in the sand and pounded the ground with my fist.
"'Tis alright," Luna tried to reassure me, "nothing or nopony is going to hurt you here."
"Something will," I tried to speak through the tears, "just you wait and see."
"Does thou not have friends here," Luna asked, already knowing the answer.
"Sure, but they don't understand, they can't understand."
"We understand, we think," Luna tried to say confidently, "There are many kind ponies here and elsewhere in Equestria who will listen to thou. Talk to Twilight Sparkle, or perhaps Fluttershy." For some reason, the mention of the shy pegasus made my crying lessen somewhat.
"You're right," I got out when my blubbering had ceased, "I've been holding a lot in because I wasn't sure where to start. I've been so reliant on medicine to make me feel better, that I had almost forgotten what it was like to actually talk to someone about it who would be objective. Thanks, Luna."
"Anytime. And now that We know what to look for, We shall do our best to protect thou from further nightmares. We do not make promises, however."
"Much appreciated," I chuckled, "I can usually take her on myself, last night was just a particularly bad one."
"We shall remain vigilant and keep an eye out anyway," Luna repeated, seemingly quite pleased with her ability to help me with a problem.
"Thanks again, Luna."
"No problem, Guy. Thou will be alright."
The princess of the night proceeded to wrap both of her forehooves around me in a kind of hug. I reciprocated by reaching up behind my head with my hand and lightly running it along her mane.
Chapter 11: The Dreaded Double Date
Another week and Time Turner had another date with Ditzy Doo. I couldn't really blame them, they were truly in love. Ditzy came to the shop everyday, even on days when she didn't have mail for us, and even on her days off. Like Pinkie had said, they were very cute together, and it did my soul good to see two good friends find that special connection.
However, they thought, in turn, that I should have a "special connection" with somepony myself, and they saw fit to set me up on a date one way or the other. Whenever they would bring it up, which was every time all three of us were in the shop at the same time, I would smile and wave off their suggestion. It wasn't that I didn't want a relationship of some kind, I just preferred to get to know someone, or somepony, first before making such a dynamic change to the relationship. But this time, they would not be denied.
"You know what I was thinking, Ditzy," Time Turner said to his marefriend as they conversed and I did actual work, "your housemate could stand to find somepony."
I already knew where this was going.
"Yeah," Ditzy replied, "Goldy hasn't been on a date in months. And that was a one-and-done."
"Does she have her eye on anypony in-particular?"
"Not that I know of, and she is pretty open to telling me about that kind of stuff. If she did, I would know about it."
"Hey, you know what, maybe she just gets uncomfortable in intimate situations with another pony. She needs somepony to be there to support her during these times."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you and I should go on a double date with Golden Harvest and somepony. I think that would go much more smoothly."
"Oh Time-y Wime-y," Ditzy cooed. I hated when they used their pet names for each other in my presence, it made me ill, "that's a great idea."
"Glad you think so Ditzy Witzy," there they go again, "but which pony should we get to go with us?"
"Well, it has to be somepony who already knows her a little, but not too much. And preferably they would know all three of us, then it would be more like four friends out to dinner than a double date."
"Ditzy, that's brilliant," I think I heard him give her a kiss on the nose, I don't know, I wasn't looking, "Guy, what do you think?"
"Hmm?" I feigned that I hadn't been listening fully to the conversation, "Yeah, it's a great idea Ditzy, but if you two are thinking what I think you're thinking, the answer is no."
"Oh come on, Guy, when was the last time you went on a date?"
"To be completely honest," I replied with a slight tinge of venom, "I'd rather foalsit Dinky for you again than go on a date." Ditzy's face seemed to sink at this statement, as if she felt bad for hitting a particularly nasty nerve.
"Sorry, Guy," Ditzy apologized, "thanks for offering to foalsit Dinky."
"No problem, Ditzy, I actually enjoyed it the last time, as crazy as that sounds. Oh wait, I forgot, I am crazy."
This bit of self-deprecating humor was lost on Ditzy who still wore a sour palor. Then the bell on the door rang, indicating a new pony, or new customer, coming into the shop. All three of us turned to see a yellow mare with a curly orange mane standing in the doorway, carrying her saddlebags, both of which seemed to be full. It was Golden Harvest.
"Goldy," Ditzy greeted, "just the pony we were looking for."
"Sorry, Ditzy, but this is important, Time Turner, could you look at this for me?" She laid down her overflowing saddlebags and some bolts, screws, and gears fell out.
"What happened," Time Turner asked, obviously concerned.
"Oh no," Ditzy said, "this isn't your grandfather's clock, is it?"
Golden Harvest just nodded, on the verge of tears, "I was doing some redecorating at home, and...and it crashed off the nail it was hanging on. This clock is over a hundred years old. Time Turner, can you fix it?"
"Oh my, Golden," Turner replied, "I'm not sure. It's in pieces, this would take forever. It would be easier to just replace it. I can do that for you, surely."
"It's irreplaceable," Golden was now full-on waterworks, and I hate seeing that, "it's the only real family heirloom I have, it has to be fixed, it just has to be."
Ditzy fetched a handkerchief for Golden Harvest while Time Turner moved the saddlebags and their contents to a work bench. At this point, I made my way over to view the damage. The gears and cogs had all fallen out, and the body of the clock was in a few large pieces. It would take a very long time to fix, but it wasn't unfixable.
"Is there anything you can do," Ditzy asked as Turner surveyed the damage.
"Well--" Time Turner began.
"I'll fix it," I interrupted, stepping into the conversation, "It'll take some time, but I'm 99 percent sure I can make it brand new."
"Oh, Guy, that would be marvelous," Golden Harvest beamed, all her tears going away, "would it be OK if I paid half now, half later?"
"How about this," it was Time Turner's turn to interject, "you pay half now and instead of paying half later, you and Guy go on a double date with Ditzy and me tonight."
I sighed and facepalmed at the suggestion. I offered to fix it because I'm a nice guy, not because I wanted to con Golden Harvest into a date. Time Turner and Ditzy were turning this whole "getting me a date" thing into a kind of monster. Through the fingers on my face I could see a look of confusion and shock on Golden's face. It was a horrified look, she just didn't know how to respond to the idea.
"I," she started, choosing her words very carefully, "I would like that. That is, if Guy is OK with it."
Now the pressure was back on me again. If I didn't know better, I would swear the three of them set this up on purpose, that the clock wasn't really an heirloom, and that Golden was just a heck of an actress. But I did know better, and I also knew that saying "no" at this point would not make me feel good about myself.
"OK, it's a date," I said with a sigh, then brightened up a bit, "how 'bout you mares go home and get ready and Turner and I will be over to pick you up after work, how does that sound?"
"Sounds like a plan to me," Ditzy said with a smile, "c'mon Goldy, let's go get ready. Oh, this is going to be so much fun."
Golden Harvest was so excited she almost left the shop without her saddlebags. The two mares were absolutely giddy as they left.
"You better know you're paying," I stared daggers into Time Turner, "I'll get started on that clock."
"What about Mayor Mare's hoofwatch?"
"You finish it."
*************************************************
The end of the workday came very quickly that day. Time Turner finished Mayor Mare's watch and had me hand-deliver it to her at City Hall. I apologized for getting snappy with Turner earlier, and he accepted my apology. He, in turn, apologized for him and Ditzy being so gung-ho about getting me a date. They thought they were doing something nice for me.
It's not that I didn't appreciate the thought. And it was true that I had begun to be attracted to quite a few ponies, in Ponyville and elsewhere, but I just wasn't sure if a relationship was what I wanted, particularly after the events of my last one.
When we reached the house Golden Harvest and Ditzy shared, it was answered by a different mare entirely, a purple unicorn who I knew as Amethyst Star. Now it must be said that Ditzy had a kind of unusual family. Dinky was her one foal from a previous marriage that she had been in to some unicorn whose name I didn't know. That unicorn, in turn, had been married once before and had a foal with his first wife, that foal being Amethyst. Ditzy had divorced him for reasons that I didn't know and he had apparently moved back to Canterlot where he was originally from, taking Amethyst with him. So Dinky and Amethyst were half-sisters, but they acted just like they were full sisters, particularly since Amethyst had moved back to Ponyville. I had been told that when Amethyst had first arrived in town, all four of them lived under one roof before she moved into her own house down the street. She often foalsat Dinky, and was known as one of the more eligible bachelorettes around town.
"Hey Time Turner, hey Guy," she greeted, "Goldy and Ditzy should be ready soon. Come on in."
The two of us entered the house. It didn't look a lot different compared to the last time I had been there. Though I could see a bare, dustless spot on the wall where the clock which was now in the shop had hung.
Time Turner and I didn't have to wait too long. Soon our dates descended the stairs from their rooms. They were both dolled up a bit, with makeup and such, though they weren't dressed. That didn't surprise me in the slightest, Time Turner wasn't dressed either, apart from that bowtie that he always wore. I knew we weren't going anywhere particularly fancy, so our current attire, or lack thereof, was fine.
"Hello Ditzy darling," Turner greeted, giving Ditzy a kiss on the lips, "ready to go."
"Yep," the mailmare responded, "are you and Guy ready?"
"More than ready."
I could already tell this was going to be a long night. Time Turner led the way after we exited the house, smiling like a fool. I simply tried my best to maintain my composure and reminded myself not to get too irritated with the copious public displays of affection that I was going to be subjected to throughout the night.
Soon enough, we reached our destination, "The Double Buck" which was Ponyville's only pub-slash-bar, and known around town as the best place to get a good drink. The waitress, a cute Earth mare that I was unfamiliar with, led us to a booth. Time Turner and Ditzy quickly sat together on one side, forcing Golden Harvest and I to sit together opposite them.
"Can I get everypony something to drink," the waitress asked.
"I'll take a Buckweiser short," Turner ordered.
"Sweet tea for me," Ditzy said in turn.
"Manehattan Iced Tea for me," Golden answered without hesitation.
"I'll take whatever Saddle Adams is in season," I ordered, "tallest glass you can find."
"That would be Saddle Adams Summer Ale," the waitress commented, making sure I still wanted it.
"My favorite," I lied, for I had never had Saddle Adams before. It was more for show and to have something to distract me in case this date became one-sided.
All four of us quickly poured over our menus. As I had never been to this place before, it took me the longest to figure out what I wanted. I did notice something interesting, however. There was a whole section of the menu that was titled "For the Griffon in You", which listed some dishes made of meat. Of course, Griffons would be one of the few civilized creatures in Equestria who would eat meat. I wondered if it would be too much to order something from this part of the menu. By the time the waitress arrived back with our drinks and asked if we were ready, I still wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do.
"I'll have the lasagna," Time Turner said, snapping me out of my inner musings.
"The same," Ditzy ordered. I wasn't even sure if she had actually read the menu or not.
"The veggie burger and hay fries sounds good to me," Golden quickly followed Ditzy.
"And for you, sir," the waitress now directed her attention to me. I was probably sweating bullets at this point.
"I think I'll have," I visibly gulped at this point, "if you have it, that is. The manticore steak with a baked potato and mixed vegetables, please."
My order might have been said a little too loud, as multiple other ponies in the pub looked in our direction.
"Are you sure, sir," the waitress asked, giving me an opportunity to change my mind about eating the first bit of meat I would have had since I came to Equestria.
"Yes I'm sure," I said with renewed confidence.
"Would you like sour cream on your baked potato," the waitress continued, not flustered by my order in the slightest.
"No, please. Just butter and maybe some chives."
"Of course, sir, they'll be ready soon."
The waitress walked off, and all the other patrons who had been staring at us, or rather, me, turned back to their respective meals and drinks.
"Ordering a meat steak?" Time Turner questioned, "If I didn't know better, I would say you're just trying to make this date expensive for me."
"Who said I'm not," I responded sarcastically, taking a drink of my Saddle Adams, which wasn't half-bad. Like I told Twilight all that time ago, humans are omnivores, and it was really best for my overall health if I ate straight meat sometimes, good source of protein and all that.
There was a bit of silence which followed this little exchange. I was worried that I might have offended Time Turner or Golden Harvest by eating meat, but the awkwardness was soon broken.
"See, Goldy," Ditzy spoke up, "I told you this wouldn't be so bad."
"Yeah," Golden responded. OK, so I guess the awkwardness wasn't over for her. Maybe it was the meat thing, maybe it was the "on a date with the human" thing. Either way, she quickly composed herself and continued with an actual conversation. "So Guy, were you able to do anything about my grandfather's clock today?"
"Not exactly," I admitted, "it kind of has to be re-built from the gears up, and I wasn't able to make much progress today. But it's just the first day, and I promise not a workday will go by without me working on it at least a little."
"Thanks, Guy. I'm really worried about it."
"I completely understand. If I owned anything that old, I would want to make sure that it stayed in good condition. And believe me, when I'm done with it, it'll be better than new."
As Golden Harvest and I conversed about her clock, I noticed that Time Turner and Ditzy were having a much more muted conversation just across the table. I couldn't hear any of it, since they were whispering everything directly into each other's ears. Something told me that what they were talking about was either very mature, or was going to cause me problems. I decided it was best, for my sanity's sake, to ignore them and go about my "date".
The food couldn't have arrived soon enough. Everything on my plate smelled perfectly delectable. The steak smelled just like a good New York Strip, the baked potato and vegetables, very much more normal pony fare, were done to perfection. If I didn't know I was in some pub in Ponyville, I would have sworn that I was at some 5-Star restaurant in some major city. I quickly grabbed the unicorn-style knife and fork which had been given to me and went to work. My date-mates did similarly with their Earth pony-style utensils, which were made specially to be able to be held by hooves.
I had by far the most food on my plate, and admittedly didn't do a lot of talking. Time Turner and Ditzy spoke to each other, sometimes out loud, sometimes in more muted tones. Ditzy and Golden held a short conversation about the Grower's Convention which the latter had attended. This conversation I actually did participate in for a short time before returning to my steak, which was tasted as good as it smelt.
Dinner blew by and so did dessert, for which I ordered a little cheesecake, reminiscent of my visit to Canterlot. Time Turner paid the bill as promised, though I left the waitress a more-than-respectable tip for her professional behavior given my dinner order. The four of us left the "Double Buck" and began the trek back to Ditzy's and Golden's house.
"Mommy's home," Ditzy called when we reached the house, causing Dinky to jump off the couch and run into her mother's hooves. Amethyst soon followed, a big smile on her face.
"So how was the date," the bright purple unicorn asked.
"It was good," Time Turner answered, "the food was superb."
"That I can agree with," I responded sarcastically.
"Yes, it was great," Ditzy said, upbeat as always, "Hey Dinky, you want to do something fun?"
"Oh, what mommy, what?"
"How would you like to have a sleepover tonight with Amethyst?"
"Oh, that would be fun!"
"Not a problem for me," Amethyst knowingly answered.
"Perhaps I should go too," Golden Harvest said, "don't want to get in the way of anything."
"Yay! Sleepover with Ammy and Goldy," Dinky cried. Ah, the innocence of youth. I for one knew that Time Turner was going to have a different type of sleepover with Ditzy.
Everypony but Ditzy and Time Turner exited the house. Dinky, Amethyst, and Golden started on their way, but then Golden turned back. She motioned with a hoof for me to get closer, and as I knelt, she pulled me into a one-hoof hug, which I returned with one arm.
"We should never do that again," she whispered to me.
"Agreed," I whispered back, trying my best not to laugh.
We broke the hug and the four of us parted ways. I traveled back to the library only to find it locked and a note on the door.
Dear Guy,
Spike and I were called to Canterlot on special request by Princess Celestia. The key to the library is under the welcome mat. We will be back by noon tomorrow. Goodnight.
Twilight
"Well," I thought as I reached down, grabbed the key and unlocked the door, "guess I have the whole library to myself."
It was still relatively early, and by that I mean before nine o'clock. And, quite frankly, I didn't know what to do with myself.
"Hoo!"
"Ah," I cried, surprised by the sudden noise. I turned around to see an owl sitting on a perch in the middle of the room.
"Hoo," it said again, this time not as loud.
"Oh come on, Owlowlicious, you know who I am."
"Hoo?"
"Never mind." I reached out an arm and the bird obediently flew from one perch to the other. In the short time I had been in Ponyville, I had decided that Owlowlicious was by far my favorite of the ponies pets. Though he didn't have the same kind of purposeful intelligence like Angel did, he also didn't try to bite off my finger at one point. And with a little training, he was very comfortable around me.
"Hoo-hoo."
"Oh, the date went fine," I pretended to converse with the bird, "the food was awesome. You understand meat-eating, since you're an owl and all. But this manticore steak was perhaps the best steak I've ever had."
"Hoo-hoo?"
"I don't think so. Golden Harvest and I both agreed that we shouldn't date regularly. Her words, not mine."
"Hoo," the owl said sadly.
"Don't worry, my fine feathered friend. I'm still not sure I'm ready to get back into the whole dating scene anyways."
"Hoo?"
"Because I've had some bad relationships in the past. I know that none of the ponies here would ever treat me like that, but it's just a protective thing, you know."
"Hoo."
"OK, maybe you don't know."
I walked upstairs to the bedroom with Owlowlicious still on my arm. He had another perch up there, just in case he wanted to get off. I sat on my bed, and he did indeed leave my arm, but instead landed on the bed beside me.
"Hoo-hoo-hoo."
"Now what?"
Owlowlicious took one of his wings and put it across his forehead, pointing one of his fingers up while spreading out the other wing.
"Hoo-hoo."
"What about Twilight?" I asked, somehow knowing exactly who he was mimicking.
"Hoo," he said with a kind of sarcastic tone.
"Oh, no, no, no, I have no interest in Twilight. Sure she's smart, and a damn princess, but I'm not into her like that."
Next, my owl friend kept the horn part of his impression up, and used his other feather to preen up the feathers on his head, like a certain white unicorn would do.
"Hoo?"
"No, I'm not interested in Rarity either. Though I'll admit that her voice is like sex for my ears."
Next, Twilight's pet unfurled both his wings and flapped them very slowly, so slowly that when he tried to fly, he couldn't.
"Hoo?" He asked after he had picked himself up after his soft landing on the bed.
"Fluttershy?"
"Hoo."
"Well she isn't the Element of Kindness for nothing," I began, "but I think she's like me when it comes to relationships. I mean, can you imagine her in a relationship with somebody? She'd be so timid and shy that they wouldn't be able to go out on dates in public!"
"Hoo. Hoo. Hoo." The owl said snarkily.
"What do you mean I'm getting a little sappy."
Owlowlicious didn't say anything, but instead just flew over to his bedroom perch, landed on it, and promptly closed his eyes to catch a little sleep.
Chapter 12: Surprise for Guy
Summer in Equestria soon turned to fall. This excited me very much, not so much because I loved fall, but because I had told Pinkie Pie that my birthday was in early fall, and I was dying to know what she planned to do for it.
In Equestria, time-telling doesn't exactly work the same way. Sure, they still have a concept of a day, and a work week. But since they don't have moon cycles, they don't have months, just seasons, and their calendar revolves around certain holidays and celebrations, such that there are 360 days between Summer Sun Celebrations, their equivalent of a summer solstice.
Anyway, it was early fall, most easily noticeable by the leaves on the trees changing color and the weather becoming cooler. The pegasi, who took care of the weather, had a very complicated system for making sure that the weather was just as it should be all over Equestria. Rainbow Dash had tried to explain it to me multiple times and all it did was make my head spin, although I had to admit that knowing what the weather was going to be like a week or two in advance was always a nice thing.
As the days of fall marched on, the pink party pony wouldn't let slip anything about my party, no matter how many of her freshly-baked treats I ate. She was quite adamant that it was going to be a surprise, and that I would just have to be a patient pony, er, person. However, she did Pinkie Promise that I would not regret anything about the party and that it would be well worth the wait. Since I knew full well that nopony but nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise, I knew there was going to be a great pay-off to all of this.
And boy, did Pinkie Pie out-do herself. It all started on one of my off days, and I was working at Sweet Apple Acres like I normally would. I don't know why I insisted on doing physical labor on my days off. Perhaps it was just because I liked helping Applejack. Maybe it was because of all the free apples I got to eat. Or it was simply the fact that it was different than the usual business of timepiece making and fixing that made it enjoyable.
"We're almost done out here Ah suppose," Applejack said not just to me, but to her brother who was working with us. Today we were starting the final apple harvest of the year, before winter set in and the trees would go into a sort of hibernation.
"Eeyup," Big Mac responded. It really was difficult to get more than one or two words out of that stallion, but he made up for it by working as hard as he possibly could and being generally very easy to get along with.
"Sun's going to go down soon," I noted, picking up a basket of freshly-bucked apples and moving it onto a cart. It was standard for the Apples to work from sunrise to sunset most days, unless Applejack had something going on with her friends. But when I was there, it was always work until sunset, then supper at the house compliments of the Apple Family matriarch, Granny Smith. Another great thing about living in a land where the solar and lunar cycles were magically created was that the sun went down and came up around the same time all season, so it was very easy to know when it would set and when it would rise.
"'Ey Guy," AJ called to me, "why don't you try your hooves at apple-bucking?" This request was very surprising to me, as it had never been discussed before.
"I don't know, AJ," I responded, "my legs aren't exactly as strong as yours."
"That's just stinkin' thinkin'," the farm pony was quick to retort, "Come on over 'ere and take the apples down from this here tree."
I walked over to the tree that she had in mind. It was a young tree, given the diameter of its trunk. A part of me wondered if Applejack had asked me to take care of it just in case she accidentally splintered it in half with her bucking power.
"You sure about this, AJ," I asked, still not convinced that I could even shake one apple off the tree.
"Sure Ah'm sure," the farm pony responded, completely confident, "now let's see ya give that tree a swift buck and see what falls."
I took a step back from my target and turned sideways so that my right leg was closer to the tree. I could tell that Applejack and Big Mac weren't exactly sure what I was doing. Swiftly, I took a shuffle step toward the tree, planted my left leg, and gave a side kick with my right foot which shook the entire tree. After a moment or two, a few apples fell off the tree and into their respective baskets.
"Yeehaw!" AJ cried, kicking her forehooves into the air, "That was great for a first try," she complimented, "one more like that should shake the rest of them apples loose."
Repeating my previous steps, I succeeded in bucking all the apples off the tree. If I had been wearing a hat, I would have certainly thrown it up in the air in celebration. It may have hurt my leg a bit, but I was sure that if Applejack asked me to do that on other trees, I could buck all the apples off in two or three shots.
AJ and I moved the baskets from my tree onto the cart, which Big Mac began hauling toward the barn, the first time I would have been in the barn all day.
"Ya did great today, sugarcube," AJ complimented again as we made our way back to the storage barn, "Ah'll admit, Ah wasn't sure if ya could do it or not."
"Guess I've got more power in these legs than I thought," I reacted modestly.
When we finally made it to the barn, I did the honors of opening the double doors to the building and walking in first.
"SURPRISE!" Multiple ponies, big and small, yelled out as I stepped inside, various party poppers going off on both sides of me. I about jumped out of my skin at the greeting.
All my friends were there in the barn, Twilight, Spike, Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Granny Smith, Time Turner, Ditzy, Dinky, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Golden Harvest, Lyra, and Bon-Bon.
"You-you guys almost gave me a heart attack," I said, trying to take in decent breaths.
"You don't like the surprise birthday party," Pinkie said in the saddest tone I had ever heard her speak.
"No, no, of course not, I love it. You just scared me, that's all."
"Who are you," Rainbow said mockingly, "Guy or Fluttershy?"
Everypony except Fluttershy and myself laughed at this joke.
"Well," I said, picking the cyan pegasus out of the air with my two hands, "if this is a birthday party, where are my presents?"
"They're over here, darling," Rarity said, standing next to a table stacked high with boxes of various sizes.
I let go of Rainbow and began to make my way over to the present table when something else caught my eye. A three-layer tall, chocolate cake sat on another table.
"I see you've found the Chocolate-Covered Craziness Cake," Pinkie said, "or in other words, the 'C' Cubed Cake."
"I don't know what to do first," I admitted, "presents, cake, music, I just can't decide."
"How bout we start with this," Time Turner said, bringing over a small black box tied with golden ribbon, "I think I owe you this."
I quickly untied the gold ribbon and opened the box. Inside was a golden wristwatch with twelve diamonds sitting where the twelve hour marks would be. The very watch that Turner had promised me for setting up him and Dinky. Without hesitation, I took it out of the box and latched it to my right wrist, a perfect fit. I was almost overcome with emotion for owning a watch that would stand out in a Canterlot boutique, let alone on the wrist of a regular guy like me.
"Thank you Time Turner," I said, pulling my boss into a full hug, "it's beautiful. I think I know exactly how I want to start this party." I proceeded to go around and hug each one of my friends and thank them for coming, hugging the CMC and Dinky all at once.
"Now let's party," Pinkie Pie cheered after my round of hugging was completed.
And party we did, late into the night, long after the younger ponies had fallen asleep. I ate way too many slices of Chocolate-Covered Craziness Cake, drank way too much apple cider, and danced until my legs and arms were equally sore. I couldn't remember the last time I had had so much fun. It was even better than my "Welcome to Ponyville" party. It was everything I wanted out of life, good friends, and good times.
Chapter 13: Cider Makes You Do Crazy Things
A few weeks went by without anything of note going on in Ponyville. Things were pretty much business as usual around Time Turner shop, where I continued work on Golden Harvest's clock, and around the library, where I believe Twilight was finally running out of questions to ask me.
The next exciting thing to happen around town began one afternoon with a knock on the door of the very library I lived in. Since Twilight and Spike were busy with official research in the basement, I answered the door myself. On the other side stood everypony's favorite apple farmer, Applejack. She tipped her hat to me in greeting before speaking.
"Howdy, Guy. Good to see ya today."
"Good to see you too, AJ," I replied, "would you like to come inside."
"Thank ya very much for yer invitation," the farmpony accepted. We both walked into the main foyer, Applejack looking around the entire time, "Where are Spike and Twi?"
"In the basement doing some sort of experiment. You know how Twilight gets."
"That Ah do. Well Ah wouldn't want to be a bother to 'em."
"What did you come over for," I asked.
"Oh, I'm inviting all my good friends here to the Apple Family Harvest Gathering that's going on down at the farm tonight."
"Do I count as one of your good friends," I asked with a hint of sarcasm.
"Of course ya do, sugarcube. You're more than welcome to attend."
"Sweet. Count me in for sure."
"Will ya pass the message along to Spike and Twi fer me? I still have all the others to invite."
"No problem, AJ. I'll tell them about it."
"Thanks a lot, sugarcube. See ya tonight."
Applejack quickly turned around and let the way she entered. I, meanwhile, made my way to the doorway to the basement. On the other side of the door I could hear all manner of mechanical devices and the tell-tale bubbling of chemicals. I covered my nose with my shirt, just in case, and entered. What I saw was Twilight levitating some sort of large chemistry beaker with her magic, swirling the blue solution inside around, while Spike busily wrote something down on a piece of parchment paper. As neither of them were wearing any kind of protective gear, I thought it safe to uncover my nose and mouth and speak.
"Hey Twilight," I called, peeking around from the doorway, "you busy."
"Yes," the alicorn answered, "is there something important going on?"
"Oh not much, Applejack was just here to invite us all to her family's yearly harvest celebration."
"That's nice," Twilight replied, not taking her eyes off of the beaker, "Unfortunately, neither of us are going to be able to attend. Are you?"
"Yep. Wouldn't miss a big Apple Family gathering."
"That's nice," the princess repeated, "have a good time."
"Will do. Might even be able to bring back some cider."
**********************************************
The time soon came for me to travel to Sweet Apple Acres to be a part of the harvest festival. For the occasion, I wore the same plain, red shirt that I had been wearing on my first day in Ponyville. For some reason, I didn't associate the shirt with my suicide attempt, but instead with my first contact with the race of sentient creatures which had made my life worth living.
Twilight and Spike were still in the basement and hadn't come out the rest of the day, so I just yelled good-bye to them before leaving. I knew that they would probably still be down there working when I got home, so I didn't worry about being missed in the slightest.
As I walked to the farm, I thought about what ponies I would see there. I figured Pinkie Pie was a shoo-in to be part of this party just like any other. Rainbow Dash would probably be game if she didn't have anything more important to do. Rarity may be friends with AJ, but would probably think a large gathering of ponies like her would be a little too dirty and uncouth for her tastes. As for Fluttershy, there was no way that she would come, what with her well-known social anxiety. I also happened to know that Golden Harvest was distantly related to Applejack, and that may mean an invite for Ditzy and Dinky, which may mean an invite for Time Turner.
The grounds of Sweet Apple Acres were completely covered by ponies of all kind of shapes and sizes. And most of them in nice fall colors, like red, orange, green, yellow, and brown. Applejack was the first pony I recognized who noticed me. She quickly made her way over.
"Howdy, Guy," she greeted for the second time that day, "Glad to see ya could make it. What about Twilight and Spike?"
"Busy with some experiment. You know how Twilight gets."
"That Ah do, sugarcube. Can I get ya anything?" The farmpony motioned to a long table chock-full of edible delicacies, probably brought by all the various members of the family. There were apple pies, apple crisp, apple strudel, apple tarts, toast with apple jam or apple butter, a large fruit salad made primarily of apples, and whole apples of all types, red delicious, granny smith, fiji, braeburn, and others that I didn't know the names of. At the end of the table sat two kegs, one of which had a large red 'X' on it.
"I know," I said with a smile, "can a guy get a cup of hard cider at this party."
"Ya sure can," AJ smiled knowingly, "Keg with the 'X'." I presume the marking was to make sure none of the fillies who were around accidentally intoxicated themselves.
I made my way over to the proper keg, which was currently being tapped by a tan earth pony with a brown vest and a large brown cowboy hat. When he was finished filling he mug, he almost turned right into me.
"Well howdy, pardner," he greeted, looking up at me, "you must be that human 'Guy' Applejack was telling me about."
"That I would be," I answered. By this point I was used to ponies being surprised by my presence.
"Well shoot. It's good to meet ya," we shoot hand and hoof, "the name's Braeburn." The name of a member of the family being some sort of apple shouldn't have made me laugh, but I did a little bit in spite of myself.
The stallion stepped aside so that I could partake in some alcoholic cider, but before I did so, I heard a familiar refrain.
"Ah told you girls he'd be here."
I turned toward the sound and was swiftly tackled by the three fillies who made up the Cutie Mark Crusders. My body flailed out into a 'T' shape, with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom standing over my right and left arms, respectively, and Sweetie Belle, fortunately the lightest of the three, standing on my chest.
"What have I told you three about that," I said between coughs as I regained my wind.
"Sorry, Guy," Sweetie apologized, "but we had to introduce you to our other Crusader."
"There's another one ," I said in shock, "I thought it was just you three."
"Is this the human," a new voice with a distinct New York accent said from somewhere above my head. I arched my neck and looked back to see a brown filly with a short, red manecut standing there.
"Sure is," Apple Bloom said excitedly, "Guy, this is mah cousin Babs Seed from Manehattan."
"Good to meet ya," Babs greeted.
"Likewise. I would hoof-shake, but I'm a little held down at the moment." All four fillies laughed at my comment. The three original Crusaders allowed me to get up before the made to speed off. "Hold on," I called, which made them stop, "are Rainbow Dash or Rarity here?"
"Rainbow would have," Scootaloo answered, "but she had weather duties."
"You think Rarity would really attend a party like this?" Sweetie said sarcastically.
"Just thought I'd ask," I said sheepishly, "have fun you four."
The Crusaders sped off as they had originally intended, allowing me finally to get a cup of hard cider for myself. I scanned the crowd of ponies, looking for more familiar faces. My gaze finally fell on one particular yellow mare, who stuck out from all the others by her long, pink mane. She looked particularly anxious, and, while I was surprised to see her there at all, I wasn't surprised to see her sitting all by herself. Quickly, I made my way over to Fluttershy. Upon seeing me, she perked up a bit, and I took a seat on the grass beside her.
"How ya doin', Fluttershy?"
"Could be doing better," the shy pegasus admitted.
"I'm a little surprised. You were the last pony I expected to be attending this gathering. I know how much you hate crowds."
"Oh, well, I wasn't going to come at first. When Applejack came and told me about it, I was quick to shoot down the idea. But then she said that you would be here and for some reason it just eased all my tension."
"That's interesting," I said in what I was sure was a stupid inflection.
"Just like now," she mused, "I was being all kinds of anxious and fidgety until I saw you coming over, then it all stopped."
Now it was my turn to muse, at least internally. This all made perfect sense to me. I had problems with anxiety from time to time, but when I was around people I was comfortable with, it would all go away. That my first clue that Kir-- the she-devil was bad news.
"Wait, did Applejack visit you last?" I asked.
"I would suppose so."
"Isn't Pinkie Pie here?"
"No, she had to foalsit for the Cakes."
"She really has to do that too often."
"Well it's not as if she has to pay room-and-board."
I had to admit that Fluttershy had a point.
"Well," I said, finishing off my cup of cider, "how about I get you a drink? Regular cider OK?"
"More than OK."
I got up and made my way over to the cider barrels, making sure to remember which one was alcoholic and which one wasn't. Swiftly, I made my way back to Fluttershy's side.
As the other ponies danced and sang and ate, Fluttershy and I just talked, mostly about what I had been doing, but some concerning new things with her animals. All this pleasurable conversation was interrupted by a sudden pause in the music.
"It's now time for the annual Harvest Gathering Line Dance," Granny Smith announced from the make-shift stage which had been set up for the event, "Now everypony get up and dance your flanks off!"
Quickly everypony at the party got into two lines, stallions on one side, mares on the other. Applejack and Big Mac motioned for us to join the lines. I had to half-pull the quivering pegasus, but soon we were across each other and ready for the line dance.
Now, I don't mean to brag, but I am one hell of a line dancer. Even with me being two feet short of everypony else, I was able to quickly pick up the steps to the dance. Every sixteen beats, the pair of ponies closest to the stage would come together and do a little freestyle dance down the rest of the line, the last step of the dance resulting in everypony moving up to get closer to the stage, then the dance would repeat.
Before long, Fluttershy and I were the pair closest to the stage. This caused me to get a sly little grin on my face, a grin which caused Fluttershy to panic a bit as she danced. I could tell that her natural reaction would be to fly away as soon as she was able. To alleviate these fears, during the last four counts before the freestyle, I moved closer to Fluttershy and took her forehooves in my hands.
"This is how humans dance," I said aloud.
Down the long line of dancing ponies we went. I continued to hold her foorehooves and continuously danced around her, spinning her a bit, but not too much. When we reached the end of the line, we both easily fell back into the dance. I smiled widely at my dance partner, who gave me a sweet smile in return. Soon after our second time down the middle, the music ended to much whooping and hoof-stamping.
"Whoo," I yelled, "that was awesome."
"Calm down, Guy," Fluttershy mock-scolded, "you sound like Rainbow Dash." She gave me a little shove at my leg with a forehoof which caused me to stumble a bit. "Oh Celestia, are you OK!?"
"I'm fine, Fluttershy, believe me."
"Goddesses Guy," Big Mac said, coming up on the scene, "how many glasses of cider have you had?"
"Only five."
"Only five," Applejack echoed, standing beside her brother, "Guy, that cider is 100 proof!"
"That stuff is half alcohol," I chuckled, "coulda fooled me."
"Well it's nice to know you can hold your alcohol," AJ reprimanded, "but I think it's time you went home."
"And I'll take him," Fluttershy quickly interjected.
"Sounds like a plan, goodnight you two."
"Goodnight, AJ," I said.
**********************************************
Fluttershy and I left the grounds of Sweet Apple Acres. The full moon was out and Luna's handiwork was shining down as far as the eye could see.
"Come on, Guy," Fluttershy repeated from earlier, "I'm going to walk you home."
"Oh no," I said facetiously, "I'm gonna walk you home."
"But you're the one who's inebriated."
"I'm not that drunk," I protested, "besides, like I'm gonna let you walk all the way home by yourself. Now come on."
Fluttershy, for some reason, did not continue to argue. We swiftly changed our path to make our way to her cottage instead of the library. Before we knew it, the familiar abode came into view.
"Well this is me," Fluttershy said with a little giggle, "would you like to come in for a minute?"
"Why not?"
The pegasus led me inside her house. It being so late at night, all of her various animals were sound asleep, even Angel Bunny. Fluttershy was quick to direct me to the green couch which sat in her living room.
"Sit here," she commanded, "would you like a glass of water?"
"That's a good idea," I admitted, "thank you."
It didn't take Fluttershy half a minute to fetch me a glass of water, which I quickly downed in a few gulps, letting out a relaxed "Ahh" after I had finished it all. By this point, Fluttershy had joined me on the couch.
"So," I said after putting the glass down on the little table which sat to the side of the couch, "did you enjoy the party?"
"Oh yes, it was wonderful."
"What was your favorite part?"
"I don't know," she said sheepishly, "probably that line dance."
"Ah, saving the best part of the night for last."
"I wouldn't say that exactly."
"Hmm?"
Then, the unexpected happened. Fluttershy fluttered forward on the couch and kissed me right square on the lips. I don't know how to describe it exactly, other than to say that it was the best thing I had tasted that night, and I had tried every bit of apple-flavored pastry that I could at the party. She broke the kiss after a few seconds and leaned back, doing everything in her power not to look me in the eyes.
"Oh, darn it," she mumbled.
"What's wrong," I asked.
"I-I just thought that, oh forget it, I'm sorry."
I reached my right hand over and pulled her chin so that I could see her eyes, which were brimming with tears, though none of them were falling.
"What do you have to be sorry about," I said, "that was wonderful."
Then, I did the unexpected, I pulled Fluttershy forward a little and leaned in to give her a kiss of my own. Though my eyes were closed, I could tell she was happy since I heard her give a little squee at first contact, followed by a gentle moan as she sunk herself into the kiss. I decided to hold the kiss as long as she would let me, and so I did, breaking only when we needed to come up for air.
"Oh Guy," she spoke first, "I'm so happy. I'm always happiest when I'm with you."
"You make me so happy, Fluttershy," I responded, my hand still on her chin, "And I'm happy that I make you happy."
"Guy?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you."
I smiled, "I love you too, Fluttershy."
This led her to initiating another kiss, one with such force that I fell back on the couch a bit. This, in turn, led her to getting on top of me a little bit.
"Hey," I said when our latest kiss ended, "would you want me to stay here all night?"
"Would you," the shy pegasus squeed at the thought.
"Of course."
"Then why don't we go upstairs.
Another sly smile crossed my face as I got up off the couch, easily picking Fluttershy up in the process and holding her close with both of my arms. I proceeded to carry her up the stairs to her small bedroom, in which sat a single, small, bed. I decided the best course of action was to just land my head on the pillows and let her decide what to do next.
"Mhmmm," she cooed, nuzzling her muzzle into my neck, "you feel so good, Guy."
"And you feel even better, Fluttershy."
"Flatterer," my pegasus lover said as she shifted her body to my right side whilst keeping her head on my chest.
"What would you like to do," I said, not exactly sure what her new, cuddly, position entailed.
"Sleep next to you all night," came the response.
"Can do," I said, giving her a tight hug, "Anything I can do to make you sleep easier?"
"Can-can you, um, caress my cutie mark?"
While I thought this was an unusual request, my right hand wasted little time getting to work, resting itself right over the three pink butterflies that made up my lover's cutie mark.
"Is that OK?"
"That's more than OK," she responded, snuggling in to me closer, "Is there anything I can do to make you sleep easier?"
"Give me permission to run my fingers through your mane," I said, fully relaxed, "Also, a good-night kiss would not be frowned upon."
"Done," she gave me a nice-length kiss, "and done. Goodnight, Guy."
I brought my free hand up and began to run my fingers through my lover's mane. All I heard until I fell asleep minutes later was our shared breathing, and an occasional coo from the sleeping pegasus in the bed.
"Goodnight, Fluttershy."
Chapter 14: Dinner and a Show
I awoke in the morning at my usual time, right after the Celestia had done her morning duty of raising the sun, to find myself in almost the same position I had been in before I fell asleep. Fluttershy was sleeping peacefully against the right side of my body. I could feel her heart beating steadily into my ribcage. Her head was on my chest in such a way that I could feel her every breath. As I laid there on my back, my right hand was still firmly placed on her cutie mark, obviously having decided that it enjoyed caressing the shy pegasus' flank. The only thing that had moved position was my left hand, which was no long entwined in my partner's flowing mane, but instead laid lazily by my side. Deciding to rectify this, I once again put my off-hand to work, slowly running my fingers through that gorgeous waterfall of pink mane. This had the unwanted consequence of stirring my bedmate from her quiet slumber, as she happily sighed and slightly shifted her body to cuddle me closer, if that was even possible.
"Good morning, beautiful," I whispered before craning my neck down to plant a kiss on her forehead. This elicited a small smile and slight blush from her.
"Good morning," she responded, content to remain in her sleeping position, "what time is it?"
I again shifted my head to look over to the wall of Fluttershy's bedroom, where an old-fashioned clock, one I had fixed myself at one point, hung.
"It's just before 10 o'clock."
"That's nice," she cooed before her eyes burst open and looked right up at me, almost as if she had forgotten that we had gone to bed together. I worried that that may have been the case.
"Is something wrong," I asked, legitimately concerned by her expression.
"My animals are going to be hungry," Fluttershy said in a very calm tone, which washed away all of my concerns, "and Angel won't be happy."
I happily sighed, having completely forgotten about all the critters that Fluttershy took care of on a daily basis. This was probably the latest she had woken up in years.
"Well if you have to get up, you have to get up," I said with a smile, not meaning to sound disappointed, though that's probably exactly how it sounded.
"I'm sure you're hungry too," she replied, still looking at me, but now with her eyes slightly closed and a smile crossing her face. I knew where this was going.
I clenched my right hand tighter on her flank, pulled her head up with my other hand and began to kiss her, well, hungrily. Our liplock probably lasted a good half-minute before she had to come up for air.
"I'll go get breakfast started," Fluttershy whispered in my ear as she began to shift in order to get off of me and out of bed, "you can stay up here as long as you want. You'll know it's ready by the smell." She gave me a quick peck on the lips, before beginning to flutter into the air. However, before she could go very far, I wrapped both my arms around her barrel and pulled her down on top of me, inducing another passionate kiss.
"Would you like to go to dinner with me tonight," I asked after breaking the kiss, "you know, like a real date?"
"Yes," the pegasus responded with no hesitation, "come and pick me up at 7?"
"Fine by me," I responded before giving her another peck. I removed my arms, allowing her to finally fly out of the bed. After she landed, she walked toward the stairs, flicking her tail to one side, giving me an excellent view of her beautiful marehood, which, if I didn't know any better, I would say was glistening.
Some time passed as I just laid in bed and tried my best to not let my, at this point raging, hard-on take too much control of me. I wondered to myself if Fluttershy would be appreciative of surprise affection, before tossing away the idea at the thought of her accidentally bucking my balls. Then again, she had been surprisingly dominant the night before, so perhaps a little nip on the neck and a "thank you" for making me breakfast would be well-received.
Eventually, I smelled the smell that my lover had alluded to. Making my way downstairs as fast as I could without scaring her or her animal housemates, I saw on the table a plate stacked high with three waffles, each one perfectly square and perfectly airy.
"Those look almost as delicious as you," I flirted, taking a seat right infront of the food. Fluttershy blushed, naturally, before finding her voice.
"There are more where that came from, if you want."
I smiled and used my left index finger to beckon her closer to me, an instruction that she quickly understood and followed. As soon as she was within distance, I reached around her head, burying my off-hand once again into her mane and gave her a nice, deep, kiss. This one lasted a bit longer than our ones earlier in the morning, probably due to us both being more awake.
"Thank you for making breakfast for me," I said after coming up for air, "it looks delectable."
"Of course, it's no problem for my coltfriend," she smiled and blushed again, but showed no indication of wanting to hide.
"Using that terminology before even one date," I asked as I began stroking my hand over her mane once more, "I must have done something right."
"And you keep doing it," she jumped into my lap and initiated another kiss. I swear, when this mare was around, I didn't need to eat. I could subsist on her lips alone, "Now eat before they get cold." She hopped off of my lap as quickly as she had gotten up on it.
And eat I did. I ended up having five waffles in total, each drowned in butter and maple syrup. This was accompanied by not one, but two, large glasses of orange juice. Fluttershy treated me like a prince, and I had every intention of treating her like a princess tonight on our date.
"I forgot," when I got up to finally leave, "did I already thank you for breakfast," I kneeled down, which got me within range for another kiss.
"Well you just did again," Fluttershy replied, it seemed she enjoyed kissing me just as much as I enjoyed kissing her, "Do I get any hints as to where you're taking me for our date?"
"Well it's only a first date, so no need to run to Rarity for some fancy dress, keep it casual. Perhaps put a flower in your mane, I'm a sucker for that," I flirted again, giving away one of my true weaknesses.
I got one more peck on the lips before exiting the cottage. I could tell from the sun's position that it was just about to be noon. I hoped that Twilight didn't worry too much about where I had been this whole time, but no matter, I already had a story in mind to feed her if she had.
The whole walk back to the library, I was on Cloud Nine and then some. The grin on my face must have made me quite a sight. And I heard a few ponies greet me as I walked back through town, but I couldn't focus on that, so I simply continued to smile and threw up a hand in greeting.
When I reached Golden Oaks Library, I walked straight in, the smile still plastered to my face. I was immediately greeted in the main foyer by a pacing Twilight. Who gave a long sigh upon seeing me.
"Thank Celestia you're OK," she said, "you had me worried."
"It's OK, Twilight," I responded, beginning my prepared story, "I just drank a little too much hard cider at the party. Fluttershy was there and I offered to walk her home. I must have been in pretty bad shape, because she refused to let me walk all the way back here in the dark, and I ended up falling asleep on her couch."
"That was very kind of Fluttershy. And I presume that that's a cider stain on your shirt."
I looked down at my plain red t-shirt and noticed an off-color stain around my stomach. It wasn't particularly large, but it was certainly noticeable.
"Must be," I replied, legitimately not knowing where the stain could have come from, "I'm going to go upstairs and get a shower and change."
I hopped up the stairs as quickly as I could to the bedroom. Taking off my shirt, I double checked to make sure nopony was around. I looked down at the stain on my shirt. I knew that I hadn't spilled any cider or water on it, so how did I have a stain? It was also too low for any food stain. I reached up with my hand holding the shirt to take a whiff of whatever it was.
The smell was very musky, but sweet at the same time. I recognized it, but it took my brain a moment to realize what it was. It smelled like Fluttershy! And not her mane, but her marehood. All the blood in my brain flowed south to a brand-new rock-hard erection. I guess when Fluttershy had hopped in my lap before brunch, those glistening pussy lips of hers had stained my shirt. I didn't realize how turned-on she was. I wish she had told me, I would have done something to put out the fire in her loins. It was then that I made the decision that if she wanted to have some fun after our date tonight, I would say yes in an instant and treat her better than anypony, or anyone ever could.
I quickly undressed and made my way to the shower, both to wash myself off from the party and to take care of my boner. As the water from the shower-head warmed up, I looked myself over in the mirror. I could probably do with a shave and a haircut, but what was interesting to me at the current time was my erection, which was the hardest I'd probably ever been, my entire seven-inch-and-change length on full display. Just the thought of having Fluttershy speared on my rod made me groan as my blood attempted to make my sex organ even larger.
When the water was warm enough, I jumped into the shower-tub. I took care of the body- and hair-washing portion of my shower as fast as I could so I could get to my erection, which hadn't subsided in the slightest during the few minutes it had taken me to wash up.
I was so horny at this point that I didn't even need to use soap as lube, my own spit would do the trick. I spit on my throbbing cock a few times, getting it wet as I jerked my right hand over my entire length, trying to make it feel exactly like it would in a pussy, particularly the wet, tight pussy I was almost certain at this point that Fluttershy possessed. After sufficiently lubing up, I closed my eyes and fantasized about fucking Fluttershy hard from behind, mounting and mating with her as hard as I wanted to fuck her, as hard as she wanted me to rut her. Suffice is to say, it didn't take me long to get to the brink of climax. I came hard, as hard as I had ever had while masturbating. Shot after shot of my seed burst out of my cock as my eyes reflexively opened and my throat produced an equally-reflexive moan as I continued to ejaculate. I had to take several deep breaths to calm down as my cock began to shrink down along with my horniness for my beautiful little Fluttershy.
**********************************************
Seven o'clock couldn't come fast enough this day. Fortunately, I had spent almost half the day at Fluttershy's in the first place, and I was sure that I was going to spend the last third in her company as well, it was only the time in-between which I needed to kill. When it was time for me to go and pick Fluttershy up for our date, I was more than ready. I wore my usual pair of blue jeans, but topped it with a long-sleeved, collared, button-down shirt, blue-and-white plaid, that Rarity had made. I laughed to myself as I gave myself a once-over in the mirror, thinking how even I had perhaps over-dressed a bit just to go to Cafe du Mane. But this was a first date, and I knew that Fluttershy would appreciate it.
It took everything in my power to walk, and not run, to Fluttershy's cottage. I had been thinking about her pretty much all day, and I didn't know how much longer I could go without seeing that beautiful face and that perfect mane, those deep teal eyes and that sculpted flank.
Thinking about such things made the trip back to the cottage go by very quickly. I gave myself a once-over before knocking, checking that my hair was sitting properly and my shirt sat straight. My pre-date grooming done with, I rapped three times on the door.
"Wh-who is it?" came the quiet voice from inside.
"It's me, Fluttershy," I half-called, half-sang.
The door flew open, and I was quickly smothered by a very familiar pair of lips as Fluttershy flew up to me for a kiss. I loved it that I could get her to drop her timidness and allow our passion to just flow.
After she broke the kiss and flittered to her preferred grounded position, I was finally able to give my marefriend a look with my eyes. And my eyes loved what they saw. She had styled her mane in a French braid, with flowers entwined throughout. It was almost too beautiful for words. Almost.
"Wow," I breathed. It was the only word that could come out of my mouth at the time. If she had given me a little smile and ordered me to her bedroom right then, I would have just picked her up and ran the whole way through the cottage.
"You look great too," she complimented. I believe this is the one and only time when Fluttershy was able to say more words than me in a given situation.
"Thank you very much," I did a little bow, "let's go."
We walked through town toward Cafe du Mane, Fluttershy not upset in the slightest at my choice. There weren't very many places to go on a true date in Ponyville in the first place, and dinner was always a good first date option.
But before we could walk inside to our table, I heard an unfamiliar voice call out to me.
"Hey, human," the deep, masculine voice said. I turned to my left to find the source of the less-than-friendly greeting, "Hey, human," he repeated, "listen to me." The voice belonged to a pegasus, completely white, sporting a crew-cut mane and the most impressive set of muscles I had ever seen on a pony. I'm surprised I even noticed that he was a pegasus, given how tiny his wings were. I wondered to myself whether he was even able to fly with those little things.
"Are you talking to me," responding obviously, as I was the only human in Equestria, let alone Ponyville.
"Yeah," he yelled, "I have a bone to pick with you."
"And what might that be?"
"Stop going around with our mares."
"Excuse me?"
"I saw you out a while back with Golden Harvest, and now you're obviously on a date with Fluttershy. Stay away from our mares, you have no business being with them."
"Look, I don't know what your problem is," at this point, Fluttershy was cowering behind me, shaking, "Now look what you've done."
I reached down to comfort Fluttershy, which was my mistake, as I took my eye off the muscled-up pegasus for a few seconds. I heard a charging sound coming toward me, and, upon looking up, saw the pegasus running in our direction. I pushed Fluttershy aside as my attacker tackled me to the ground. However, I was able to get my feet underneath him, and with a simple two-legged push-off, I "monkey flipped" him over my head and onto his back.
We both turned over, him to his feet, I to all-fours. He didn't waste any time, quickly moving forward and headbutting me right on the top of my head with as much force as he could muster. This shot sent a shockwave all the way down my spine, momentarily paralyzing me, causing me to collapse to my side. He quickly pushed me over onto my back and stood above me. I regained my senses and began using my arms to defend myself, covering my head at times and pushing his head away at others.
However, it wasn't my face he was aiming for, but my chest. Regaining his composure, he reared up and brought down both his forehooves on my chest over and over, punctuating each shot with a grunt. I continued to try to push his face away and lessen the strength of his shots. At one point, I decided to throw some punches into his ribcage, but it was like his pecs were made of stone. Then, with one more double-stomp, he ruined my whole day.
*CRACK*
My eyes crossed as the pain of this giant pegasus' hooves breaking my ribs. My two arms fell to my sides as I was now in too much pain to even defend myself. Fortunately, the pegasus was pulled off me by not one, but three, stallions, Big Mac, Caramel, and a black pegasus with a white mohawk whom I was unfamiliar with.
I began coughing up blood as Fluttershy returned to my side and laid down, using her body as a pillow. I felt bad because I was getting blood all over the probably freshly-washed fur and feathers of my marefriend, but there was nothing I could do about it at the time. All I was trying to do was remain conscious, which was very difficult as I continued to lose blood with every shallow breath.
Rolling my eyes up to meet Fluttershy's, I could see those teal pools welling up with tears. I tried to say that I would be OK, to say anything to reassure her and alleviate her fears and sadness, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't talk, I could barely breathe, and, eventually, I could no longer hold onto consciousness.
Chapter 15: Nurse Fluttershy
"You...deserved...it. You...deserved...it."
The words were spoken by Kirsten's demonic tones. They just repeated over and over again as my unconscious self was pulled immediately into a nightmare.
The scene was quickly set. I opened my eyes to find myself strapped to a table by my wrists and ankles. I was completely clothed, except for my shoes, in the exact outfit I had worn to the date that never happened. The room I was in was empty, or at least as empty as I could tell, with a single spotlight shining down on me.
"What do you want this time," I yelled into the darkness, "I'm already hurt, probably dying, the last thing I need right now is to see you."
"I'm just speaking the truth," she hissed out of the abyss, "This is your just punishment for trying to be happy without me."
"Is that what this whole thing is about? My happiness? I haven't been happy since you have reappeared in my life. And that isn't enough for you? You led me to almost killing myself, for Godesses sake! I would say that if your entire purpose is to keep me unhappy, that you've done a damn good job of it."
"Well hopefully after this is all over, you'll learn your lesson and stay away from all these fucking jolly horses."
"They prefer to be called ponies," I said matter-of-factly.
"Fuck whatever they want to be called. I'm going to make your unconsciousness a living hell!"
At this point, the she-devil herself made her presence known, coming up from above my head, which is interesting, since her voice was definitely coming from the side of my feet. She was wearing the same attire she always does, and brandishing a red crowbar.
"What do you plan to do with that," I asked, nodding my head in the direction of her weapon of choice.
"Oh, just this," she hissed, striking the crowbar against the left side of my chest. This sent a shooting pain through my entire body. Apparently, my unconscious body still had broken ribs.
"OH, SWEET CELESTIA THAT HURT!"
"And it's not going to hurt less anytime soon, sweetie," Kirsten mocked. I reflexively tried to cover my chest with my arms before being reminded that my wrists were strapped down.
"Bad boy, trying to escape, that's going to have to be punished."
"CELESTIA DAMMIT!" I screamed as she hit me again, this time more focused with the business-end of the crowbar.
"And it's just the beginning, baby. Oh, this time together is going to be so much fun."
I was about to pass out from the pain, and I'm sure I would have if I wasn't already in a state of unconsciousness.
"BE GONE, FOUL HARPY!" a familiar voice yelled out. It was Princess Luna once again coming to my rescue, "LEAVE THIS GOOD MAN ALONE!"
"What the fuck," Kirsten questioned as Luna landed across my dissection table from her, Luna's steely-blue gaze meeting hers, "Who the hell are you?"
"We are the great princess of the night, Luna. We also happen to be a friend of this man who thou continue to torture night after night. And it is part of our duties to banish nightmares like thou from the mind. Now drop thou weapon and be gone!"
At this command, Luna took a step back and fired a blue ray of magic out of her horn, which had the effect of knocking the crowbar out of Kirsten's hand.
"Fuck!" Now it was Kirsten's turn to yell as she grabbed her right hand in pain. I guess Luna didn't hit only the crowbar with that shot.
"As we said, BE GONE!"
"OK, you win this round, weird horse-thing. But you watch, you can't protect him forever."
With that, Kirsten disappeared into the darkness of the room.
Luna quickly got to work magically removing the restraints from my limbs. However, I was still in too much pain to move, but not enough not to speak.
"Thank you Luna," I whispered, "But I have to ask, where did you learn to yell like that?"
"Oh, 'tis merely the old-fashioned Canterlot voice. Before We were banished to the moon, We always used to speak in that manner. Now we've found that it scares ponies, and people."
"Well whatever it was, it sure worked. Thank you again."
"Thou are most welcome. Now, thou shall wakest soon. We will surely come to visit thou in a few days. Oh, and one more thing," she said this as the lines between consciousness began to appear, "congratulations to thou and fair Fluttershy. Thou are a most romantic pairing."
***************************************************
*BEEP**BEEP**BEEP**BEEP*
The first thing I heard when I began to stir was the persistant beeping of a heart monitor, I hoped that it was my own, as it was pretty steady and not that fast. The next thing I heard was so loud that it popped me right awake.
"He's awake!"
It was Fluttershy's voice, many decibels louder than it's usual tone, and why not. After all, the last thing I knew, she had witnessed me get beat up so bad that I was coughing up blood and I had no idea how long I had been out. She was probably worried sick this whole time.
"Hi, Fluttershy," I turned my head to the right to face her, speaking in the same small whisper that was more reminiscient of my marefriend's normal tone of voice than my own.
"Oh I'm so happy to see you awake," this was followed by a tight neck-hug, as the shy pegasus was careful not to hurt my ribs in any way.
"Happy to see you, period," I countered.
I looked around to take in my surroundings. Alongside Fluttershy stood Twilight with a much-relieved look on her face. On the other side of the bed stood the heart monitor as well as two ponies, the first a brown earth pony wearing a white coat and wearing a stethescope, the second a white earth pony with a pink mane wearing a hat with a red cross on it. Above the bed was a stand holding a bag containing what I knew was saline which was attached by a tube into my arm, the same way it would be on Earth.
"Twilight's idea to put it into your arm," Fluttershy said, "seems you taught her a lot about how human anatomy works."
"And are we happy about that," the pony in the coat said, "Mr. Guy, you suffered two broken left ribs and a punctured left lung, which is what caused you to cough up blood. Fortunately, you made it to the hospital quickly and we could start the magic-healing process. Princess Twilight Sparkle was extremely helpful to us both in the healing and what to do with you afterwards."
"How long have I been out?" was the first question that crossed my mind.
"Just over 24 hours. Ms. Fluttershy has not left your side that entire time."
I turned my head back to my marefriend and smiled. This latest information didn't surprise me in the slightest. When I went down, Fluttershy's natural nuturing capabilities kicked in. I would be more surprised if she had left for any length of time.
"How long will I be laid up like this," I asked, not turning my head back to the doctor.
"At least two weeks," came the answer, "and that's if your X-Rays look good."
"Guess I'm going to have to postpone our date until then," this elicited a little laugh from Fluttershy.
"It's a date," she said with a smile.
"There is one thing that puzzles me though," Twilight spoke up, "while you've been out, we saw you toss your head about a few times, and even tense your muscles, as if you were in pain. Do you have any idea what caused that?"
I sighed, "Remember those nightmares I told you about?
Both Twilight and Fluttershy nodded.
"Well I had one while I was unconsious, and apparently my unconsious mind has broken ribs too, and they hurt when struck with a crowbar. I probably would have died in the dream if Luna hadn't saved me."
"Luna saved you," Fluttershy asked in awe.
"It's not the first time she's come into my dreams. All I can hope is that it's the last time she'll have to do so."
****************************************************
My stay in the hospital was as comfortable as it could have possibly been. All of my friends came to visit me. Fluttershy, of course, stayed by my side as much as she could, to the point of actually feeding me on occasion. Twilight pretty much acted like a second doctor, as well as using this time to learn about the human healing process. Applejack and Rainbow Dash visited when they could, and I heard that Rainbow gave the pegasus who assaulted me a vicious tounge-and-hoof lashing, in lieu of me pressing actual charges against him. She also introduced me to Thunderlane, the pegasus who had helped me out. Rarity was almost more worried about my blood-stained clothing than me, fussing about how she would have new formal wear made for me as soon as possible for Fluttershy and I's next date. We of course said there was no need, but that unicorn is persistant. Pinkie Pie showered me with "Get Well Soon" cards, chocolates, and other sweets, none of which I was allowed to eat. Time Turner and Ditzy visited me together as well, simply being re-assuring and the latter even baking me muffins.
But I for one was waiting for a particular pair of visitors, that being Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, who were going to visit me in tandem one morning. Twilight set it all up, of course, though she claimed that when the princesses heard about my injuries, they were both adamant at visiting as soon as they could. Not only that, but Luna had promised me that she would visit in real life, and I was looking forward to it.
Finally the day arrived when the co-rulers would be coming to little-old Ponyville Hospital to visit their personal friend, the only human in Equestria. This caused a lot of fanfare, as any visit by the princesses tended to do. Twilight told me that the entrance to the hospital was absolutely crowded by ponies trying to see the monarchs. But she assured me that when they arrived, it would be just them, me, and whichever ponies I wanted to be there that would be in the room. I told her that I wished for her and Fluttershy to be there as well.
The only warning I got that my guests had arrived was the sudden commotion coming from outside my room. Fortunately, I had just finished my breakfast and was more than prepared mentally for whatever questions the two of them might pose to me. The commotion died as first Celestia, then Luna, entered my room and Twilight shut the soundproof door behind them.
"Good to see you again, Guy," Celestia spoke first, "though, of course, we all wish it was in better circumstances."
"Well I just hope it wasn't too much trouble," I responded, "you know, coming all the way to Ponyville just to see me in bandages."
"Think nothing of it. We were more than willing to make the short trek."
I smiled, turning my attention from Celestia to Luna, "And thank you for saving my flank in that nightmare. I'm sure without you intervening, I would have surely--." I couldn't finish my sentence, as I could feel myself starting to grow short on breath. This happened from time to time, nothing a quick hit or two from an oxygen mask wouldn't fix.
"Of course," Luna responded as I focused on breathing, "as We have told you, coming into your dreams, or nightmares, is part of our job."
"We do have a few questions," Celestia said, "but don't feel pressured to answer. Speak when you are able, and breath when you must. We would not want to extend your stay here."
I nodded.
"Dearest Twilight told us that you decided against filing charges against your attacker," Luna said, "Why did thou do this?"
"Filing charges doesn't do any good," I took as deep a breath as I could manage, "I just want to be accepted for who I am and what I am. And who I am is Guy, and what I am is in love with a pegasus." This last bit caused Fluttershy to brighten up considerably.
"And we both extend congratulations," Celestia said with a smile, "But are you both sure about what you might be getting into?"
"Listen," I said, being mindful of my breathing, "if any other stallions have a problem with me dating Fluttershy, then let them say it to my face. I'll fight them all, get my ribs broken, break an arm, whatever. If it means that I get to continue to love the beautiful creature who loves me, then bring it on." I punctuated this sentiment by leaning over and giving Fluttershy a nice kiss on the lips.
"If you want my opinion," Twilight spoke up, "I wish Cadance could be here to see the perfect example of love that I have seen. Just seeing them together the last few days, I can tell. They have the same kind of love that Cadance and Shining have, the same kind of love that my parents have. And if I have to intervene in town on behalf of this relationship between two of my good friends, then I will."
"I'm glad to see you think this way, Twilight," Celestia said, "both Luna and I are of similar mind. Neither of us will stand for any kind of discrimination against this couple or against Guy himself."
"But We fear, dear sister," Luna interjected, "that this will be a simple matter to fix in Ponyville, but it may not be in other parts of the country."
"What does it matter," I asked, "What does it matter what ponies elsewhere think? We live in Ponyville, and I have only ever been to one other city, and that is Canterlot as a guest of you both. I see no real reason to travel anywhere else, and so I don't give a damn what other ponies in other places--." I had to take another long drag from my oxygen mask.
"We understand what thou sayest."
"Fluttershy?" Celestia asked the pegasus, "What do you think of all of this?"
Fluttershy took a moment to answer, choosing her words carefully.
"I am in love with Guy," she began, "and I don't like seeing him hurt. I don't like seeing any living creature hurt." She began to tear up and proceeded to nuzzle into my cheek, affection which I promptly returned.
"I could see your tears," I said, continuing to nuzzle my marefriend, "I could see that you were crying for me. And seeing you sad almost hurt more than the punctured lung. And I promise, from this moment on, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that you are never sad again."
Fluttershy and I broke off our affection, and we were able to see that we were both tearing up a fair bit. At this moment, we were only concerned with one another, as if the other three ponies in the room didn't exist. It was beautiful. The moment was beautiful, she was beautiful, and when I looked into those teal eyes, all my pain, physical and emotional, just disappeared into nothing. I couldn't feel any pain as long as I continued to look at her. And judging from what I would learn later, she felt the same way about me.
"Hmpk, hmpk," Twilight coughed into her hoof, breaking our moment.
"Well we certainly hope that you heal soon," Celestia quickly said, avoiding the awkwardness, "perhaps you and Fluttershy would like to come to the castle when you're feeling up to it."
"Thank you very much for the invitation. We will definitely take you up on it sometime, right honey?"
Fluttershy quickly nodded, blushing all the way.
"We think it would be a good idea if we left them for a spell," Luna said, making a move toward the door.
"I second that," Twilight quickly said, magically opening the door so that Luna, then her, then Celestia last, could exit.
Finally, Fluttershy and I were alone in the room again.
"You know," I said to her with a smile, "after that breakfast and all this talking, I think I could stand for a morning nap. Would you care to join me?"
I raised my right arm a bit and gave Fluttershy an inviting look.
"Are-are you sure," she asked, "I don't want to accidentally hurt your ribs."
"I'm sure. You couldn't hurt me if you tried. Besides, I'd be the one missing out. I can't reach over and stroke your mane like I like."
Fluttershy gave out a little squee and quickly flew up and into the bed, cuddling next to me. I rested my right arm against her, caressing her cutie mark with my right hand like I knew she liked.
"Hey Guy," Fluttershy asked as she found the perfect cuddling position, "why did you call me 'honey'?"
"Haven't you ever heard of pet names?"
"I know that. But why 'honey'?"
"Don't you like it?"
"You can call me whatever you want, sweetie."
"I called you 'honey' because you're sweet and tasty," I explained, "And just like honey never spoils, you'll never grow old to me. You'll always be my beautiful, sweet, perfect Fluttershy."
"You know," Fluttershy giggled, "Nurse Redheart isn't going to like it when she finds us like this."
"Let her be upset. I'm enjoying this too much to care."
Chapter 16: A Quiet Night...Yeah, Right!
A few weeks went by, and winter descended upon Equestria, bringing with it cold, wind, and snow. But on this night, a blizzard wouldn't have stopped me. I had finally completely healed, and I had a date with Fluttershy. Given the events of our last date, we decided to have a romantic dinner date at her cottage instead of going out.
As I got close to my marefriend's house near the Everfree Forest, I was glad that it hadn't snowed yet this season. The ground may have been frozen, but there was no water on the roads, which allowed me to wear my good shoes. I was wearing the same outfit I had worn to the castle, minus the tie. Due to the below-freezing temperatures, I also wore a long, black trenchcoat. The date may have been at her home, but that didn't give me any excuse to not dress up for the occasion.
"Fluttershy," I knocked, "it's Guy."
"It's open," I heard the angelic voice call from inside. Following directions, I proceeded to open the door and duck into the cottage.
Inside, there was very minimal light coming from a few candles, or more specifically, a three-pronged candle holder sitting on the table. The table, which usually sat in the kitchen, had been moved to the living room. And next to it stood the pegasus of my dreams.
Fluttershy was wearing a green-and-white dress with matching green shoes. Her mane was styled in its usual manner, though she had tucked a flower next to her right ear. As before when she got all dressed up, I couldn't take my eyes off her.
"Hee-hee," Fluttershy giggled, "are you going to take your coat off, or are you just going to stand there?"
"I think I'll stand here awhile longer," I said, unbuttoning my trenchcoat, "after all, you look stunning as always." The compliment caused my lover to blush vehemently as I hung up my coat.
"You look very handsome yourself."
"Thank you beautiful," I came over and leaned down to give her a kiss, "What's for dinner?"
"Oh, you'll love it. First, a very light salad, followed by a greenbean casserole, and I picked up a cheesecake from Sugarcube Corner for dessert."
"Somepony told you I like cheesecake."
"It was Pinkie's idea."
At this point, I noticed something about the table. The salad bowl was sitting there, with the two plates and silverware, but something bothered me.
"Something's wrong with this picture," I said, moving toward the chair nearer to me, picking it up and moving it to the side of the table, instead of the end, "Much better."
"What did you do that for?"
"Simple," I smiled slyly, "where the chair was before, I wouldn't have been able to reach you."
Fluttershy blushed again. I moved over to pull her chair out for her, an act that she was quick to move on. Of course, being the gentleman that I am, I certainly couldn't sit before my date had been seated. Again, we may just be in her house, but it was still a date.
"So," Fluttershy asked as I began to dish out the salad, "how have you been feeling? You're not in any pain, are you?"
"Honey," I answered, stopping to put my hand on her forehoof, "I'm completely healed, no pain whatsoever. That healing magic of Twilight's worked wonders."
"I know. It's just, I worry about you."
"I know," I raised her hoof up and gave it a kiss, "and I appreciate your concern. But I think it would be better if we acted as if I had never been injured in the first place. That's behind us now, and now we look forward."
"That sounded like a toast."
"Who said it wasn't," I gave my best million-dollar smile. Fluttershy smiled and blushed a bit before dropping her demeanor suddenly.
"Oh shoot, I forgot the wine."
She quickly rushed off to the kitchen. Before I could even get up from my chair to help her, she returned, carrying a flat wooden board upon which sat a bottle of red wine, unopened, two glasses, and a bottle opener. I quickly used my dexterous hands to grab everything off the board and set them on the table. By the time my marefriend sat back down, I had opened the bottle.
"So," I continued, pouring the wine, "where were we?"
"I think we had just agreed to not talk about your ribs anymore. Whoops." She put her hoof over her mouth in humor. I chuckled.
Eventually, we stopped talking and got to the eating. The salad was pretty standard fare, lettuce, tomato, a light dressing, very basic. Soon, we dished out some casserole, which Fluttershy had kept simmering in the oven. I'll admit that I had purposefully eaten a light lunch so that I could enjoy as much of her cooking as I possibly could. And I was far from disappointed. Now, my mother made a really good greenbean casserole, but this was even better than that. Maybe it was the straight-from-the-garden ingredients, maybe Fluttershy should have gotten a cutie mark in cooking, I don't know.
"Wow honey," I said, leaning back in the chair and patting my stomach happily, "that was fantastic." Fluttershy blushed again.
"I hope you saved some room for dessert."
"Always," I said with a smile on my face.
Fluttershy sauntered to the kitchen to get our desserts. I say "sauntered" because she was putting even more sway into her hips than usual, something that was very pleasing to the eye with that dress on. The lovely pegasus soon returned, balancing the two plates on her back, which I was quick to relieve her of.
"Mhmm," I moaned after taking my first bite, "this cheesecake is delicious."
"Oh, yes. Pinkie said she made it herself."
"Leave it to Pinkie to make a delicious dessert."
Fluttershy nodded, "Hey Guy, what do you think about staying the night again tonight?"
I smiled, "I'm glad you asked, honey, because if you hadn't, I would have." Fluttershy gave out a little squee, followed by a kiss.
***********************************************
Not twenty minutes later, we were sitting on the couch, making out. I had taken off my vest, shoes, and socks, Fluttershy had taken off her shoes as well. To be blunt, I could kiss the shy pegasus forever. The sweet taste of her lips were better than any dessert, better than any taste I had ever experienced.
After awhile of kissing, Fluttershy began to shift her body from beside me to be more on top of me, putting both of her forehooves on my shoulders and pushing me down a little bit.
"Ooh," I said, breaking the kiss for a moment, "something tells me the quiet one wants something."
"Well, yes, I do want something."
"Name it."
"C-Could you, um, carry me up to the bedroom?"
"Of course, gorgeous."
Fluttershy moved off me a bit so that I could get up. Once I was standing again, she reached up from her seated position on the couch to wrap her forehooves around my neck, allowing me to pick her up. I cradled my left arm under her hindquarters and wrapped my right around her barrel. She proceeded to lay her head over my right shoulder as I easily carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom. Once we got there, I assumed the position I had the last time I was in my marefriend's room, that is, laying down with my head on the pillow and her on top of me. We continued kissing for a little before Fluttershy spoke again.
"Guy? Could you, um, help me out of this dress?"
"Sure, beautiful."
Fluttershy leaned back onto her haunches again to reveal something I hadn't noticed before, white lacing on the underside of the dress. The lacing was drawn down into a tight knot near her stomach. I wondered for a moment how a pegasus tied such a knot, before deciding to ignore it. I reached down with my hands to untie it, looking back and forth between her face and the knot. Before long, my nimble fingers had undone the knot and loosened up the dress, enough to allow Fluttershy to shimmy out of it.
Not a second passed by between dress hitting floor and lips hitting lips. My date was being unusually forward, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it.
"Goddesses, honey," I began, "not that I'm complaining, but you're being particularly affectionate tonight. Any special occasion?"
"Well, actually, there is. See, um, I want you to, well, mate with me."
My eyes went unreasonably wide at this point. "Mate with you? Are you sure that's what you want?"
"Of course, sweetie," Fluttershy said, her voice getting even quieter and her ears splaying back on her head, "Is there something wrong? Do you not want me?"
"Of course I want you, honey," I stroked her chest with my hand, "I just didn't expect you to be so forward about it. I thought that you might have wanted to wait longer."
"Wait longer !? I've waited so long already, sweetie. Please, I love you so much, please mate with me tonight."
There was no way I could say no to her at this point. And it must be said that all the kissing and loving we had been doing had gotten me quite riled up in my own right. I never would have asked her myself, but if she was adamant that she wanted to do it, then I wasn't going to disappoint.
I flipped over, making Fluttershy land on her back with her head on the pillows. I stood up off of the bed and took off the rest of my clothes, first my belt, then my shirt, my pants, and finally, my boxers. Fluttershy went wide-eyed at this point, as she could very plainly see my erection, even in the minimal moonlight coming into the room.
"Oh my," she said, "is-is it always that big?"
"Only when I'm around you," I slyly replied, climbing back onto the bed, positioning myself above the pegasus and lining my cock up with her entrance.
"Are-are you sure we can do it like this?"
"Remember when I taught you how humans dance? Well now I'm going to teach you how humans mate." I made a mental note to teach Fluttershy the finer intracasies of human anatomy sometime. But there wasn't time for that type of lesson now, now was the time for a more hands-on approach.
I leaned my body over my lover's and began passionately kissing her. As I deepened the kiss, I brought our bodies completely together, slowly prodding at her entrance. I could feel her outer lips puckering, doing their best to pull my cock inside.
"Go ahead," Fluttershy said, breaking the kiss for only a moment, "I'm ready."
With the OK given, I slowly entered her tight vagina. I went inch-by-inch, making sure that I wasn't hurting her. And with each inch gained, Fluttershy kissed back harder, enjoying every second of it. Her pussy was so hot and wet and tight, more so than any human woman's I had ever been in.
"Are you alright," I asked once I had made it all the way in, "I can go as slow as you want."
"I'm fine," Fluttershy gasped, "this feels so good, Guy. Please mate with me however you want. I trust you completely." This was punctuated by another kiss.
"OK. Just tell me if something is uncomfortable."
The power was in my hands, and I wasn't going to let it go to waste. I moved my hands from the bed and wrapped them around her shoulders and head, bringing our bodies as close as they had ever been. Using only my hips, I made sweet love to my pegasus. She was just as tight, but fortuantely, she was also getting wetter by the second, which helped me along. It didn't take long before I got the response I was looking for.
"Oh Guy, this feels so good. Oh, oh Guy, OH, OH, GUYYY!"
Fluttershy was a screamer, go figure. And one with some good lungs, as the screaming didn't abate for a few seconds. All the while, her pussy was squeezing my cock for all it was worth, trying hard as it could to milk the seed out of me. Somehow or other, I fought off this assault and rode out Fluttershy's screaming orgasm.
"Damn, Fluttershy," I panted, "you feel great."
"Keep going," my lover insisted, "make me scream again."
Again, not one to disappoint. To that end, I sat back on my heels, pulling Fluttershy up with me. I quickly folded my legs underneath me in a pretzel shape and sat her haunches down on them, never allowing my cock to exit her pussy. Upon being brought upright, Fluttershy's wings popped open like some kind of wind-up toy.
"Are your wings OK," I asked, concerned.
"What is this position called," the pegasus inquired, completely ignoring my question.
"Uh, humans call it the 'lotus position'," I explained, "figured I'd give you something where I can take advantage of how light you are."
"What do you me-OH, OH, OH!"
I grasped Fluttershy by the hips and began lifting her up and down, impaling her on my cock. She was rendered speechless by this, simply tilting her head upwards, her mouth stuck open in a silent scream. I swiftly got to work on her exposed neck, giving her kisses, nips, and bites all over the region.
"C'mon, honey," I leered, "I'm not going to stop until you get what you want."
"I'M, I'M, I'M...AHHHHHH!"
For the second time, Fluttershy screamed aloud in orgasmic ectasy. Once again, her pussy walls gripped my cock, not allowing me to move an inch. Riding out the orgasm was easier this time, as my cock and balls had gravity on their side.
Once the orgasm subsided, I spun around and laid down on my back, with Fluttershy completely on top of me. This second orgasm had tired her some, and it was my turn to do the work.
"Guy," she tried to speak, but was having a hard time of it.
"Shhh, no need to talk, just leave it all to me."
Resigning herself to the fatigue, she simply laid her head on the pillow, breathing raggedly into my ear.
Now was the time to give her one more before I finished. I slowly moved my hands up her hind legs to her flanks, right over where her cutie marks were. Grabbing the soft flesh tightly elicited a heavy gasp from my lover. Soon after, I began bucking my hips up and in, repeatedly stabbing her sweet marehood with my cock. Every up thrust was followed by pulling my dick almost out of her, all the way to the head, and then quickly thrusting it all back in.
"Ugh," my marefriend panted with each thrust, "harder...faster...mate with me..."
I did as I was asked, continually bucking harder and faster, eventually turning my cock into a pussy piston. I could feel the walls of her vagina tightening again, a sure sign that she was close to cumming. I could also feel a tingling sensation in my balls which signaled that I was close as well. But I was going to be damned if I didn't give her one more great release.
"OH, GUY! I'M...I'M...I'M...OH, GUYYYY!" Fluttershy screamed right into my ear. That might have been enough in itself to set me off, not to mention her pussy walls getting tighter than ever.
"Oh, Fluttershy," I groaned, the tightness of her pussy matching the tightness in my balls, "I'm going to mate with you! I'm gonna...UGH!" My cock exploded with cum inside my beautiful lover. I kept myself as deep as I could get the entire time as I released spurt after spurt of seed into her waiting pussy, which continued to contract and milk me for everything I had.
Eventually, the contractions stopped, and I was allowed to soften a little and gently slip out of her pussy, my cock completely clean of any cum. We both just laid there and panted, trying to regain our collective breath from the intense sex we had just had.
"Wow, honey," I was the first to speak, "that was amazing, you are amazing."
"That felt so good," she agreed, "so much better than I thought my first time would be."
"Well you never expected your first time to be with a human," I joked.
"No, but I'm glad it was."
She held her head up and we just stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Soon she began nuzzling into me, which I was more than happy to reciprocate.
"Hey, Fluttershy," I asked as we continued our affection, "is it OK if we just sleep like this all night?"
"More than OK," came the response, slightly muffled due to me having a face-full of her mane.
I brought my hand back behind her head and pulled her into a kiss, one not filled with passion and longing, but with love and tenderness.
"I love you Fluttershy," I made sure to say before I drifted off to sleep.
"I love you too Guy."
***********************************************
The next morning I unpleasantly awoke without Fluttershy in my arms. As quickly as I could, I redressed myself and headed downstairs to see if I could find my lover anywhere. I didn't have to look very far before a sound like a chorus of angels singing reached my ears, coming from the direction of the kitchen. When I reached the room, I didn't alert Fluttershy to my presence immediately, content to lean in the doorway, listening to her. She was standing next to the stove, preparing what I assumed to be my breakfast, merrily singing away, Angel Bunny standing nearby.
Angel was the first to notice me, and when he did, he was quick to bound in my direction. Upon reaching my feet, the little rabbit stopped, crossed his arms, and started tapping his foot, a very stern look on his face.
"Oh, you're awake," Fluttershy said upon finding me standing there, "I figured you were still asleep."
"Well I was until a minute ago," I explained, "How did you do it?"
"How did I do what?"
"Get out of bed without waking me?"
In response, my marefriend fluttered her wings a few times.
"Oh," I said, sufficiently understanding, "and what's up with him?"
I pointed down to Angel, who was still looking mighty upset with me.
"Oh, well, I'll tell you over breakfast. It's almost ready."
After looking down to throw a quick smirk Angel's way, I stepped over the bunny and went to my preferred seat at the table. Obviously, Fluttershy had moved it back into its proper spot this morning.
I didn't have to wait long to be served. This time, Fluttershy had made me some scrambled eggs, potatoes, and toast with some apple juice. At this point, she was just spoiling me with her cooking, which was as good as ever.
"I could get used to meals like this," I half-joked.
"Doesn't Spike make you and Twilight breakfast every morning? He's a very good cook."
"That he is. But it's nice to have a nice, quiet breakfast with my marefriend."
"Awww," Fluttershy cooed, coming over for a kiss. After we broke, I could see Angel out of the corner of my eye making a face like he was going to be sick.
"So, what did you want to tell me?"
"Oh, right," the pegasus made her way across the table to her usual seat, but once there didn't say anything, simply looking at the table and nervously tapping her hooves.
"Honey, there's nothing to be anxious about. Whatever it is, you can tell me."
"Would you want to move in with me?" Fluttershy blurted out, becoming very red in the face when she realized that she had said it all at once.
It took me a second to process what she had asked me, mostly because she said it so fast. But once I had gotten it all through my mind, it didn't take me two seconds to answer.
"Of course I would. Now why were you anxious about that?"
"Well, um, you were so soft and gentle with me last night, and you said something about thinking that I wanted to take things slow, and I was worried that maybe you would think moving in would be taking things too fast."
I smiled and looked down at my plate for a moment, trying to hide the slight blush coming to my cheeks. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to, and it made me feel great that Fluttershy wanted to take this step.
"Fluttershy, I'm taking this relationship at whatever speed you're comfortable with. So if you want me to live with you and hold you in my arms every night, then that's exactly what I'll do."
The shy pegasus blushed as the most adorable smile crossed her muzzle. Angel made yet another face like he was going to hurl his breakfast. Fluttershy noticed it this time, causing her to audibly sigh, as if she had seen this reaction coming.
"Now Angel," she cooed in a way that only she knew how, "you have to learn to be nice to Guy."
The bunny switched back to his cross-armed glaring.
"Angel," I took over, trying a different approach, "I know you probably see me as a threat, since I'm going to be taking Fluttershy away from you from time to time. But look, we both want the same thing. We both want to protect Fluttershy, you because she's your mother-figure, and me because she's my marefriend. We have more in common than you think. Peace?"
I reached out my right index finger, intent on having the bunny shake it. Angel looked back and forth between Fluttershy, my face, and my finger. After a few moments of contemplation, he grasped my digit with his furry paw and gave it a firm shake. The sight of this caused another beaming smile to cross Fluttershy's face, and a similar one crossed mine. But then, I thought of something.
"Honey, I think we're going to need a bigger bed."
Chapter 17: Shy in High Society
Fluttershy and I stood on the platform of the Ponyville Train Depot. We were waiting for the afternoon train to Canterlot. Pinkie and Rarity had also come to see us off.
"Oh, I'm so jealous of you two," Rarity half-whined, "what I wouldn't give for a three-day weekend staying in Canterlot Castle."
"Maybe this was a little much," Fluttershy said, "I'm going to miss my animal friends, especially Angel."
"Didn't you tell me that most of your friends go away for winter," I asked.
"That's true, I suppose."
"Aww, cheer up Fluttershy," Pinkie interjected, "going to Canterlot is a lot of fun, fun, fun."
"Pinkie's right, darling," Rarity agreed, "I mean, think of the shopping you could do, or perhaps the Canterlot Philarmonic Orchestra is having a performance, or perhaps..."
"Easy, Rarity," I scolded, "remember, it's not you going on this trip.
The porcelain unicorn pouted.
"Besides," I continued, holding a hand up to my ear, "I think I hear our train coming."
My hearing turned out to be precise, as it was indeed the Canterlot train coming into the station. Quickly, I picked up my suitcase and specially-made suitbag and moved towards the boarding platform, with Fluttershy right behind me, pulling her suitcase. When the train came in, nopony was getting off, so the two or three other ponies getting on, along with the two of us, stowed our luggage and hopped aboard.
"Buh-bye," Pinkie called, twirling a noisemaker in the air.
"Bon voyage," Rarity said, waving her white handkerchief.
Our tickets gave us passage in the first-class cabin of the train. When Fluttershy and I reached that car, we noticed only two other ponies there, and they seemed to be traveling together. They were two white unicorns, a stallion and a mare. The stallion was wearing what I believed to be a smoking jacket, as well as a golden monocle. The mare had a distinct pointed muzzle, and a long, flowing, pink mane. As there weren't many options, we decided to sit across the aisle from the pair.
As soon as we sat down, I could hear the two of them start whispering. At first, I ignored it, presuming that they were just going about their business. That was, until the stallion spoke up.
"Excuse me," he said, "but, are you the human we've heard about."
"That I would be," I said, turning to face him, "Guy the human, at your service."
"Oh, splendid. You know I've been dying to meet you since I first caught wind of you. My name is Fancy Pants, and this is my marefriend, Fleur de Lis. Now, I also seem to recall your accompaniment from somewhere, but I can't place it." Fleur whispered something in his ear. "Oh yes, Fluttershy, Rarity's dear friend from the Canterlot Garden Party, of course. So nice to see you again, miss."
I could tell Fluttershy was a little nervous, so I took the liberty of speaking again.
"Well it's a pleasure to meet both of you as well," I said.
"If you don't mind me asking," Fancy Pants said, "where are you two traveling to?"
"We're on our way to Canterlot for the weekend as special guests of the princesses." Fancy Pants seemed shocked by this revelation.
"And how do you know the princesses so well?"
"We've met before, in fact this isn't my first special invitation. And," I leaned in and whispered this so that only Fancy could hear me, "it doesn't hurt when your marefriend was one of the Elements of Harmony."
"Your marefriend?" he said, completely aloud.
"What? Does that bother you?" I asked, planting a kiss right on Fluttershy's cheek.
"Not in the slightest, my good sir. I suppose what's good for the stallion is good for the human, am I right?"
"Not exactly, but I know what you mean."
"Are you two free for dinner tomorrow night? We should all go out." I'll admit that I was a little shocked by this invitation, having only known the two for five minutes. I turned to Fluttershy.
"What do you think, honey?"
"We'd love to," she answered with all confidence.
"Excellent," Fancy beamed, "it's settled then."
************************************************
Fluttershy and I spent the rest of the relatively short train ride talking with our new-found friends. However, when the train reached the capital city, we quickly lost track of Fancy and Fleur. This was mostly due to the fact that as soon as we debarked, we came face-to-face with a member of the Royal Guard.
"Guy and Fluttershy, correct?" the unicorn guard greeted.
"That would be us," I answered.
"Right this way."
The guard led us a short ways to a white-and-gold carriage, which was manned by another guard. The first guard levitated our luggage up to the rack on the top of the vehicle, while the second, also a unicorn, used his magic to open the door. Once Fluttershy and I were safely inside, sitting across from each other, they were off.
"Oh my," my marefriend said quietly once we were under way, "I didn't expect Princess Celestia to go through so much trouble."
"Well you know how the princesses are," I answered, taking her hooves in my hands, "Besides, we are two very important guests."
"I suppose so. Oh, I do so hope everything goes well this weekend."
"C'mon, what's the worst--," I stopped myself before I could finish the cliched phrase and worry the pegasus, "Everything will be great. I promise."
Fluttershy sighed and smiled, put at ease by my words. I leaned over and stole a kiss from my lover before sitting back to enjoy the rest of the ride through town.
It wasn't long before our carriage stopped in front of the still awe-inspiring Canterlot Castle. Once Fluttershy and I were out, I noticed a younger-looking orange unicorn stallion, wearing an outfit more befitting of a bellhop come up and put our luggage on his back and go inside. I wondered why a unicorn wouldn't use his magic to do the work, but didn't have much time to ponder the question.
"Princess Celestia has requested your presence immediately," one of the unicorn guards informed us, "I will take you to the throne room now."
The guard led the two of us through the same corridor with all the stained glass windows which I had marveled at during my first visit. The throne room sat on almost a straight shot down this hallway, on the other side of a massive golden double-door. Once there, the guard stepped aside, allowing us to be alone with the princess.
The throne room was almost staggeringly simple. Two thrones sat on the far side, up a few steps from the white marble floor. Princess Celestia sat in one, above which sat a tapestry emblazoned with a picture of the sun. The other chair, presumably Princess Luna's given the similar moon-based tapestry, was empty. Upon seeing us enter, Celestia rose out of her chair and came to greet us.
"It is good to see that you both have arrived safely," Celestia said, ending her descent right in front of us. Fluttershy and I both bowed.
"A pleasure to see you again, princess," I greeted.
"And this time it isn't in a hospital," my marefriend joked, surprisingly calm. Guess it comes from dealing with royalty all the time.
"That is true, Fluttershy," Celestia smiled.
"Will Luna be joining us soon," I inquired.
"Well, she was sleeping. It is daytime, after all. However, she asked to be awoken as soon as you got here, so it shouldn't be long before--"
"Huzzah! Thou hast arrived!" Luna's voice rang out from the doorway. The princess of the night wasted little time crossing the room and throwing her forehooves around my neck in a hug which I had little choice but to return.
"Luna," I laughed, still enveloped, "your manners."
"Be not so formal, good Guy. We are just so happy to see thou upright and in good spirits." Luna let go of me and proceeded to pick up Fluttershy by the forehooves and pull her into a sitting hug. "And we are happy to see thou as well, fair Fluttershy. Oh, thou two are so adorable together."
"Th-thank you, Luna," Fluttershy said, just a tad nervous now.
"Well now that everypony is present," Celestia said, her regal tone intact despite her sister's antics, "I believe dinner should be served."
The four of us walked out of the throne room, Celestia and Luna flanking Fluttershy and I respectively. Fortunately, the great dining hall was not far from the throne room. However, when we reached the eating room, I noticed something peculiar. Celestia and Luna's chairs, which were far larger than the others at the table, were set not at the head, but in the middle.
"Uh...," I stuttered, "should I be aware of something here?"
"Tis nothing," Luna replied, making her way to her seat, "We, as in my sister and myself, thought it would be easier for us to talk this way. Thou knows how hard it is to converse with somepony if they are sitting too far away."
"And we also assumed that you and Fluttershy would prefer to sit next to each other," Celestia continued, "who knows, we may decide to always be placed in the middle of the table from now on."
"Well, you won't hear any argument from me," I quipped, shrugging my shoulders, "let's eat."
The four of us took our respective seats. Soon, the various waitstaff was on the move, bringing out the first course.
"So," Celestia asked nonchalantly, "how was your trip?"
"Same as it always is," I answered, "though we did pick up a dinner invitation for tomorrow night."
"Is that so? Well, it's good to know in advance."
"Yes. Oh, and before I forget, there's a favor that I would like to ask."
"And what is that?"
"How would I go about acquiring an alicorn-size bed."
The two royal sisters exchanged glances.
"Pray tell why," Luna spoke, "We do not think a bed that size would fit in the library."
I smiled, "Well that's fine, since I'm not living with Twilight anymore."
"Oh?"
"I moved in with Fluttershy," I put my hand over her hoof on the table, "and we don't exactly fit comfortably in the same bed."
"Wait...thou two are...," Fluttershy blushed, Celestia simply closed her eyes and smiled.
"Yes Luna," I nodded slowly, almost sarcastically, "we're sleeping together. And if you think we look cute together normally, wait until you eavesdrop on our dreams when we're sleeping, this one all curled up in my arms. It's actually quite adorable."
Fluttershy blushed harder, Celestia's smile got a little bigger, and Luna got a bit of a flummoxed look on her face.
"How dare thou imply that we watch ponies sleeping for no reason!"
"I wasn't implying anything, Luna," I said, causing the moon princess to give a little huff, "So, Celestia, about the bed?"
"I'll put in a special order for you," she answered, "expect it delivered to the cottage in about a week."
"Thank you, princess."
The rest of our meal went by relatively quickly and without me almost angering Luna.
When we were finished, the four of us bid each other adieu as Luna had night court and the rest of us were going to bed. However, before we did so, I caught Luna whispering something in Fluttershy's ear which made the pegasus blush again.
"And what was that all about," I asked as Fluttershy and I walked toward our shared chamber, "Something about me, I presume?"
She didn't answer directly, but the way her wings ruffled meant that I was right.
As soon as we were inside the bedroom, a yawn escaped from Fluttershy. This caused me to smirk a bit, at least until it was broken by a yawn of my own.
"Guess we're both tired then," she said with a little smile.
"I guess so," I replied, immediately doffing my shirt.
As I dealt with my clothes, Fluttershy dealt with the bed. The large beds of the castle were basically the same as California King-size beds on Earth. While it was exactly the size that I was looking for, I wondered whether or not it would fit in Fluttershy's cottage. Then again, if I had learned anything in Equestria, it's that, where there's a will, there's magic.
I climbed into bed, and Fluttershy wasn't far behind. My pegasus soon curled up next to me like she always does, giving me the opportunity to hold her like I always did.
"Guy?"
"Hmm?"
"You really think this is adorable?"
"Of course," I chuckled, "what's more adorable than the most beautiful pony curled up against her love? Not much, if you ask me."
Fluttershy tried to snuggle closer to me, though I think the effort was in vain, since I didn't think that was possible.
"I love you, Guy," she said with a sigh.
"I love you too, honey."
***************************************************
In the morning, I awoke to an interesting, and actually kind of hilarious, sight. While I was in the same position I had been in when I fell asleep, Fluttershy was on the total opposite side of the bed. Given how my arms were flailed out to the sides, I could only assume that my arms had let go of their grasp and Fluttershy's body had taken the opportunity to toss about a little. The consequence of this was now Fluttershy was on her back, resting comfortably on the other pillow. The unintended consequence was that she had kicked most of the sheets away, leaving herself fully exposed. It took all of my willpower to not let my eyes venture too low, lest I get some ideas. But then I got a better one.
Quietly as I could, I shuffled over toward her. Very gently, I rested my head on her chest, laying the hoof closest to me over my neck, while I wrapped my free arm around the rest of her barrel.
However, I must have not been quiet enough, as she stirred moments later to find herself actually holding me in a kind of role-reversal.
"Um...Guy...are you awake?"
"Yep."
"Did you wake up like this?"
"Nope."
"Oh...OK. Um...if you don't mind, this isn't the most comfortable position."
"Agreed," and with that, I pulled her over, rolling over onto my back with her on top of me, "Better?"
"Much," she replied, punctuating the sentiment with a kiss.
"Breakfast?"
She smiled, extending her wings and giving a single flap to get off of me and the bed in one motion. I guess she was hungry.
We both freshened up a bit, and put on clothes in my case, and headed for breakfast. We found the royal sisters already there, their chairs in the same place at the table. As before when I had partaken in breakfast at the castle, the food was plentiful. However, I was perplexed to see how little Fluttershy was eating.
"Honey, no offense, but you eat like a bird."
She paid me no mind at all, continuing to delicately eat her fruit while I gorged myself on what they called "Prench Toast"
.
"So what are your plans for today," Celestia asked.
"Well," I said, making sure not to talk with my mouth full, "other than the dinner invitation, we don't have any plans in particular."
"Canterlot is a large city, I'm sure you can find some way to spend your time. I'll even lend you the royal--"
"No," I interrupted, "No royal nothing. No royal guards, no royal carriages, no royal nothing."
Celestia was a little taken aback by my statement, so Luna took her chance to speak.
"Pray tell why?"
"I've never been in Canterlot proper before. I can imagine there have been rumors of a strange creature in Ponyville, just like there always seems to be. It'll be hard enough going around Canterlot without a royal entourage."
"Suit yourself," Celestia replied, "just don't get lost."
After breakfast was over, Fluttershy and I returned to our room for a brief spell to put on some warmer clothes. It was winter, after all, and while it wasn't that cold outside, it was still chilly enough to require more clothing, even for Fluttershy. I donned the navy blue sweatshirt Rarity had made me and wrapped the white scarf Fluttershy had knitted around my neck. She threw on a pink turtleneck, which had holes for her wings to fit through.
Once properly prepared for the weather, we made our way out of the castle and down the road which led from it to the actual town.
It didn't take long once we reached Cantelot proper that I noticed everypony we passed gawking and rubbernecking as we passed. It didn't matter to me, so long as none of them freaked out like had happened when I first set foot in Ponyville. But with Fluttershy by my side, I didn't have much to worry about. Soon we reached the main street of the city, which was just packed with ponies. Fortunately, being nearly three feet taller than all of them, I was able to still see what was going on.
After a few seconds of scanning, I saw a slightly taller white unicorn who I recognized, if only for her pink mane. As soon as she saw me, she reached for somepony I couldn't see and pointed back to me. The two ponies, who I could now tell for certain were Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis, slowly made their way over to where Fluttershy and I were standing.
"Ah, a pleasure seeing you again so soon, old sport," Fancy said to me, reaching a forehoof up for a hoofshake.
"It's a good thing we ran into you," I replied, returning the shake, "I wasn't sure how we were going to find you for dinner."
"Oh, I have my ways. Besides, I've already picked out a place, a lovely Prench restaurant, it's Fleur's favorite."
"Prench," I said, rolling the words around on my tongue, "that's the second time I've heard that word, what does it mean?"
"It refers to anything that is from Prance," Fleur said, the first time I had ever heard her voice, which had a distinct accent, "I myself am from that part of Equestria."
"Is Prance, by chance, a home to a lot of art and cultural influences?"
"Oui," she said, which sealed the comparison for me.
"That means, 'yes'," Fancy explained.
"So," I continued, "since we're all here, I wouldn't mind just spending the whole day with you two. I don't exactly know the city. That is, unless Fluttershy has something she'd rather do instead."
The pegasus opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by a new voice.
"I say, Fancy, who is this creature you're conversing with," the masculine voice had all the trademark smugness of a Canterlot snob.
The four of us turned to see two new ponies, a gray unicorn stallion who wore a small set of glasses right on his nose, and a muted yellow unicorn mare wearing an oversized blue necklace. I had taken note that Canterlot ponies seemed to wear clothes much more often than ponies anywhere else, though given the weather I couldn't really blame them.
"Ah, Jet Set, Upper Crust," Fancy said. He probably would have said more, but I beat him to it.
"Creature?" I said, staring down at the two new unicorns.
"I beg your pardon," the stallion coughed, "I've just never seen anything like you before, I didn't know what to call you."
"You can call me Guy. I happen to be the only human in Equestria. Perhaps you've heard rumors about me?"
"Can't say we have," the mare said, taking a step back, "Well, it's been grand seeing you Fancy, Fleur."
"Same to you, Upper Crust," Fancy said nodding first in the mare's direction, then the stallion's, "Jet Set."
The two of them couldn't have gotten out of their faster if they tried.
"Um...Guy," Fluttershy said, "I think you scared them."
"That's what they get for calling me a creature. As if they thought I'm not an intelligent being or something."
"Calm down, sweetie," she said, rubbing my thigh with her hoof.
"Sorry, honey," I replied, kneeling down and giving her a peck on the cheek, "Guess I got a little heated."
"No harm done," Fancy said as he and Fleur began to walk off in some direction, "Come on, you two. You said you wanted to see some of the city, and I intend to show you."
And so, for the next couple of hours, Fancy and Fleur showed us various sights around Canterlot. Really, it didn't seem much different than any other major city I had visited, either in my home world or Equestria.
"And here we are," Fancy said, stopping in front of a restaurant, "dinner is served."
The four of us walked in. I didn't even have to duck my head under the doorway, as I had noticed that all the doors in Canterlot were built to where Celestia herself could walk through it unabated. Ah, wishful thinking. The unicorn waitress at the front immediately recognized Fancy.
"The usual, Mr. Fancy Pants?"
"No, four instead of two."
"Right this way."
As we walked to our table, I noticed that, as before on the street, everypony turned their head in my direction. I was actually kind of getting sick of it. In Ponyville, just being in the presence of Twilight made me something not to be feared. But here, it seemed, even in the presence of a Canterlot society player, his supermodel marefriend, and an Element of Harmony, these ponies still viewed me as something to be gawked at.
"Don't mind them," Fancy said, seeing the frustrated look on my face, "Some ponies here are just wary of anything that isn't a pony."
"Changeling invasion," Twilight had told me that story.
"Changeling invasion."
Eventually we reached our table and everypony got back to their meals and conversations. Fancy ordered a bottle of wine for the table, leaving us to pour over our menus.
It was at this point that I almost regretted swearing off meat. When Fluttershy and I officially became a couple, one of the things I did was promise to never eat meat again. So far I hadn't had any medical problems from the decision. However, looking over this Prench menu, with its many fish, steak, and chicken dishes, made my mouth water a little bit.
When the waitress returned to take our orders, I settled for a double-order of the vegetarian lasagna. When Fancy joked about my eating, I said that I was as tall as Celestia, and had the appetite to match.
Dinner went by pleasantly enough. I asked Fleur many questions about Prance, even going so far as to say that I would like to visit there someday. As per the usual, Fluttershy didn't say much, but it wasn't from a lack of trying on my part. That was, until a Fleur brought up a curious topic.
"Mr. Guy," she started, though I insisted I preferred just my name, "has Ms. Fluttershy ever told you about the time she was a supermodel?"
This piqued my interest, "No," I said, glancing over to my date, "it never got brought up."
"Oh my, you should have seen her. She was on the cover of so many fashion magazines, it was incredible. I have never seen one skyrocket in popularity so fast."
"Oh...my," Fluttershy squeaked.
"Well it doesn't surprise me," I continued, placing an arm around her, "she is the most beautiful pony I've met."
As Fluttershy blushed so hard her entire face became the color of a tomato, Fleur just smiled a little smile.
"I really do wish she would get back into it," the Prench model contemplated, "but the business isn't for everyone."
"Well...well I was just doing it because Rarity was so adamant about it."
"It's OK, honey," I said, planting a kiss on her cheek, "we're just kidding with you. I wouldn't want you to go back to that, anyway."
"Really?"
"No way. All that traveling you would have to do, plus having to know that every colt and stallion in Equestria would probably be thinking about you at night would not help my sleep, right Fancy?"
"Right."
Fluttershy blushed harder. Fleur giggled.
***************************************************
By the time Fluttershy and I got back to the castle, we were bone-tired. We had walked around half of the city and then eaten way too much at dinner. I couldn't get out of my clothes fast enough. Not to mention the wine I had had was starting to get to me.
"Hey, Fluttershy," I mumbled, half out of it already.
"Yes."
"What was it that Luna whispered to you the other night?"
"Oh...nothing."
"Oh come on, honey, you don't need to hide from me. No matter how potentially embarrassing it is."
"Well...um...she told me that...um...she was going to put a spell on this room. Something about making it soundproof."
"Oh...that's nice," I replied, flopping into the bed before my brain finished processing the sentence, which made me sit straight up again, "She did what!?"
"She soundproofed the room. I don't know why, though."
I smiled and shook my head, "Honey, remember the night before we came here, and I mentioned it was a good thing your cottage is so far out of town so you can be as loud as you want?"
"Oh, yeah...OH! That's what she meant!?"
"Afraid so," I said, my smile getting bigger, "though, I'm sorry to say, I don't think I'm up to the task tonight."
"Good, because I'm not either," she punctuated this sentiment by flying into bed and cuddling up to me.
"Goodnight."
**************************************************
I found myself in a field of flowers that seemed to go on forever. I was alone, just sitting there, propping myself up with both my arms.
"Well," I thought aloud, "this is nice."
"Isn't it though?"
The voice, though familiar, shocked me a little. I turned to my left to see Fluttershy laying there, sniffing a flower.
"Wait, are you real Fluttershy or dream Fluttershy?"
"What's the difference?"
"Not much," I admitted, "Real Fluttershy is the mare of my dreams, after all, only makes sense that both are similar."
My companion giggled, "That's sweet. But to tell you the truth, I am only a figment of your dream."
"That's a shame. I'm hoping one day Fluttershy and I will be able to appear in each other's dreams. If that's possible, that is."
"Well, you're kind of already doing it."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You realize you're dreaming, right?"
"Of course."
"You misunderstand. Even when you think you're awake, you're dreaming."
"Huh?"
"You're dead, Alan. This whole world, Equestria, Fluttershy, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, all of them, are just figments of your dead mind."
"No it's not. It's as real as I am."
"I'm sorry I have to tell you like this. But you know it's true. Think about it. Prance instead of France, Manehattan instead of Manhattan, Canterlot instead of Camelot, you're brain has simply created a delusional dream world in death. Or maybe you're just in a coma, who knows, I certainly don't."
"I don't need to listen to this," I said, rising to my feet, "It doesn't matter whether it is real or not, it feels real to me."
"But one day, you might wake up. Or maybe even shut off. And then there won't be anything. You won't even have the memories."
"God, if you didn't look like Fluttershy, I would be yelling at you right now."
"Don't fight the truth. The longer you fight it, the worse you'll feel. If you accept it now, you can get out without getting hurt."
"Shut up!" I snapped, turning around and picking the dream Fluttershy out of the flowers, "Dead or alive, who gives a damn! All that matters is that I am happy. Is that you, Kirsten, is that you inside this body?"
"No, I'm not Kirsten. I'm you. This is your own conscience talking to you, taking on the form that you would be most comfortable around. It's your brains way of making the news more bearable."
"Go away," I was starting to crack, "Please go away, leave me be. I'd rather be ignorant and happy then know what's going on and be miserable."
"That's not you, Alan, that's not us. You've always known what's really going on, whether you like it or not. This is no different. I'm sorry, Alan, but Fluttershy doesn't love you, she's just a figment of your imagination."
At this point, I didn't care if it looked and sounded like Fluttershy, this wasn't Fluttershy. I spun a bit and tossed the dream image as far as I could. When it landed a good 20 feet away, the entire scene shattered. The flowers went away, and I was left in a blank room. Then, suddenly, All four walls, the ceiling, and the floor began projecting pictures. They were all from my point of view, all memories I recognized, whether it was working at Sweet Apple Acres, hanging with Time Turner, being with Fluttershy, all of it. And all the while, a voice was droning in the background.
"It's not real...It's a dream...I'm sorry..."
I tried to escape, running bodily into all the walls, trying to break them down, but it was like they were built from brick. But that wasn't stopping me, I had to make it stop. This dream had turned into a nightmare. However, eventually, even I had had enough, collapsing onto the floor in exhaustion.
The ceiling picture just happened to be playing my memory from after the Apple Family Harvest Festival, when Fluttershy first told me she loved me. Seeing it again made me start to tear up.
"No...," I muttered, almost incoherently, "it can't be true...this has to be real..."
"BE AT PEACE!" Princess Luna shouted, causing all the faces of the room to shatter into little pieces. I was still on my back, but now it felt as if I was laying on a cloud. I turned this way and that, trying to find Luna, until she finally appeared, sitting right beside me.
I sat up to be at her eye level, but I couldn't say anything. It was difficult to even breath, let alone form a full sentence. Luna, seeing my distraught appearance, decided to do something about it. She scooched forward, placing her head over my shoulder, causing my head to fall similarly. She then wrapped her wings around the rest of my body, completing what I called a "wing hug".
"Tell me it's not true," I sobbed violently into her ethereal mane, "Tell me it's not a dream. Tell me everything is real."
"There, there," using her wing to pat my back, "Everything will be fine."
"But, my head..."
"It matters not. It matters not what reason or logic tell you, it only matters what your heart tells you."
"But it's right. Canterlot, Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Vanhoover, it's all too similar."
"Guy, look at me," I did what she asked, "Do We seem fake to you? We know we are in your dream now, but when We hug you when you are awake, does it feel real?"
"Yes."
"When Fluttershy hugs and kisses you, and curls herself up against you at night, does that feel real?"
"Yes."
"Whenever you eat or drink something that quenches your hunger or thirst, does that feel real?"
"Yes."
"When you are kicking a tree at Sweet Apple Acres and your shin thumps in pain, does that feel real?"
"Yes."
"Then that's all that matters. You are as real as me, who is as real as you. Do you understand?"
"But what if I wake up? What if this whole thing is a dream?"
"We know a thing or two about dreams. You are living no dream. You are simply living."
"OK," I said, slowly pulling my head away, but not the rest of me, "OK. Thanks, Luna. Do you think you could wake me up?"
"Certainly," Luna said, before her ears twitched, "but We think somepony else is going to beat us to it."
"Guy? Guy, wake up!" It was Fluttershy's voice.
"Go on," Luna said, it is the morning.
A white light began to fill my vision, soon replaced by that bleary look you get when you first open your eyes in the morning.
"Guy?" Fluttershy asked to a now waking me, "Guy, wake up!"
"Morning, Fluttershy," I greeted as if nothing was wrong, "Is something wrong?"
"You...you were crying in your sleep."
I touched a hand to my eyes to find that they were indeed wet with salty tears.
"I was having a nightmare."
"Oh no," she squeaked, "you didn't get hurt, did you?"
"Not physically. It was more mental."
"Are you OK?"
"Better now that I'm awake," I wrapped my arms around the pegasus and dropped back down on the pillows, "Fluttershy, please never leave me."
"Why would I do that? I love you."
"I know, honey. I love you too."
Chapter 18: All I Want For Hearth's Warming
The days following my sojourn in Canterlot were not particularly pleasant. Every corner of my life seemed to be off balance. All facets of my being seemed shaky.
My most recent nightmare had affected me more than any one previous. And despite what Luna and Fluttershy had said, my subconscious feasted on the implications. The scenes that had been played before my eyes, and the haunting words which echoed through my soul had cracked my psyche.
At home, I wouldn't let Fluttershy out of my sight. In fact I did as much as possible to not let her leave my grasp, as if every hug, kiss, or nuzzle might be my last. In bed, I would hold her and pet her like I always did, while she would reciprocate with her affections. But beyond that, I would shower her with words, from 'I love you's' to complimenting every part of her being to sweet nothings whispered in a volume that did not reach beyond her ears. I would go on and on, babbling words with no cadence or reason to them, just to say them in case I never got the chance to say them again.
The first night back in Ponyville, Fluttershy fell asleep to my words and ministrations. But I barely noticed. My mouth ran non-stop until morning. Naturally, my love was worried about my lack of rest, particularly since I was going to return to work.
Going to work was a different monster. The first issue was the act of separating from Fluttershy. Our kiss when I finally did leave lasted twice as long as normal. Even the walk into town was a challenge, as I looked back every few steps to make sure the cottage was still there. Fluttershy, the beautiful soul she is, stood in the open doorway of her house and kept smiling until we lost sight of each other.
Time Turner, for his part, was very happy to see me. Between being injured and my aforementioned trip, we hadn't worked together in nearly a month. At first, I was glad to be back as well, as I figured having something to concentrate on would do me good.
However, it didn't exactly go without a hitch. Turner asked me to continue work on Golden Harvest's clock, so that I didn't need to stress over deadlines or the sort. In my absence, work on the old timepiece had actually gotten quite a bit along. The body was completely put together, as well as the basic cogs. The only difficult part left was setting the face back and making sure everything worked properly.
The work was slow and methodical. This was on purpose, partly because something like this required precision, and partly because I was not in the mood to do anything quickly.
Unfortunately, while one part of my brain was focused on the task, it allowed another part to play games. Every few minutes, and only for a second, my vision would fill with the image of something painful. One time it was Kirsten holding a crowbar, another moment it was of the empty room from my most recent nightmare. With each of these moments, my body would suddenly jerk or spasm, bringing me back to full reality. Time Turner must have seen this happen, but either thought nothing of it, or decided not to ask.
It had only been an hour or so when Ditzy came in with some mail. During her visit, a particularly nasty feeling crossed my psyche. Instead of an image, a sharp pain shot up my spine, as if I had been hit by a baseball bat. This caused me to sit up straight, stiff as a board. Ditzy immediately asked if something was wrong. In reply, I stood up from my workbench and turned toward the couple. It was at this point that I felt a single tear glide down my cheek.
Ditzy immediately moved over to me and threw her forelegs around my waist in a hug. In order to reciprocate properly, I went down to a knee. While the pegasus attempted comfort through her means, Time Turner decided to go with his preferred method: words.
"Guy," he began with slight hesitation as he chose his words, "is something bothering you?"
My vision passed between the pegasus latched around my neck and the Earth pony who was addressing me. Silence fell over the shop as the two of them patiently waited for a reply. I was half-tempted to lie, to tell them that everything was fine. However, if I had learned anything about mental health in the time I had spent in Equestria, it was that keeping my emotions inside was unhealthy.
"Yes," the word escaped my lips as nary more than a whisper, but it was heard nonetheless.
"Tell us what's wrong," Ditzy asked from her position beside my head, "Please?"
It did not take long to acquiesce to her request. The next few minutes were spent summarizing my most recent nightmare scenario to the pair, as well as the painful memory flashes which had plagued my mind all morning.
By the end of my recount, Ditzy has stepped away from me, concern gracing her facial features, while Time Turner looked thoughtful. I had taken a seat on the ground, and must have looked quite glum.
"S-Sorry," I uttered pathetically, my head having buried itself in my knees.
The touch of a hoof on my shoulder finally caused me to look up. It was Time Turner, wearing a determined expression.
"You don't have to apologize," he said, patting my shoulder, "It is not your fault."
"I know," my voice dropping back to a whisper, "But what do I do?"
"For now," my boss continued, "you go home to Fluttershy."
I looked him in the eyes, "But..."
"No buts," he said firmly, "Go home and be with Fluttershy. Don't worry about work. In fact, don't worry about anything. It is unethical to burden you with other concerns when you are injured. This injury is no different than broken ribs, except that you cannot see these wounds. And I don't want to see you working until you are healed. Understood?"
My head turned a bit to meet the stallion's eyes. Meanwhile, I felt a water come to my own. Without warning, I reached out and gave him a hug. While not the hugging type, Time Turner still patted me on the back. It did not take long for Ditzy to come over and make it a three-way hug.
Eventually, I released my pony companions, stood up and made for the door. But not without a 'thank you' to both of them for being so understanding.
For the second time that morning, I made the journey between town and home. For it being as cold as it was, there were many ponies out and about. At one point, I even saw the Crusaders and some of the other school foals playing in the snow.
When I reached the cottage, I entered without fanfare or warning. Fluttershy was not directly in my field of view, but I knew that she was not used to ponies simply entering her home unless they were close friends. The wait was not long, as the pegasus soon descended the stairs and entered the living room.
"Guy," she asked, "What are you doing home so soon?"
Instead of answering immediately, I took the few steps necessary to close the distance between us. In one motion, I picked Fluttershy up and held her against me, laying my face into her mane.
It was a minute or so before I answered her original question and explained what was going on. Fluttershy, of course, was concerned, but she also made it known that she would not deny the mutual comfort that came from holding each other. To that end, I moved to sit on the couch, the pegasus still in my arms.
For a time, we sat there, enjoying each other's company and body heat. We also discussed the visions I had and what they could mean. Fluttershy was quick to suggest that I seek Luna's opinion on the matter, which I was in agreement with.
The two of us spent the rest of the day together, and I was perfectly fine the entire time. There were no visions, no strange sensations, and no tears. At one point, I even suggested going back to work tomorrow, but Fluttershy was against it. She repeated the exact words Time Turner had used about my health, and she was adamant that we spend the next day out with friends.
When evening rolled around, Fluttershy made it a point to get me to bed early in the hope that I would catch up from what I had missed the previous night. Of course, she settled down as well, and we assumed our usual sleeping positions. However, after a half-hour of cuddling and petting, I was no more tired than I had been.
"Would you like me to sing to you," Fluttershy asked, and while at first, I was tempted to laugh, a look down to my lover showed that she was serious.
"Do you think it would help," I replied, making a special point to scratch her ear.
"Yes, I know a great lullaby. Besides," she whispered, closing her eyes and getting as comfortable as possible, "you like my singing."
That I did. So I smiled and laid my head back to relax my neck, closed my eyes, and waited for an angelic tune to reach my ears. Fortunately, Fluttershy didn't make me wait.
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to lay your sleepy head.
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to go to bed.
It was like the Sandman of lore had buried me in his signature material. Within seconds, my mind, body, and soul melted into the bed and I escaped the conscious plane.
Drift, drift, off to sleep.
Exciting day behind you.
Drift, drift off to sleep.
Let you joy of dreamland find you.
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to lay your sleepy head.
Hush now, quiet now,
It's time to go to bed.
********************************
A simple grassy hill, upon which stood a lone shade tree which I leaned back against to enjoy the dreamscape. However, something was missing. My mind focused on manipulating my subconscious, as I searched and strained in an attempt to bring Fluttershy into my dream. But after several minutes of this, I gave up. Instead, I did something far easier, bringing to life thousands of buttercups all across the hill and field. Their coloration reminded me of her fur.
"'Tis a beautiful scene thou hast painted," a familiar and welcomed voice stated from beside me.
"Thanks, Luna," I turned my head to confirm that the alicorn was indeed present, sitting on her haunches.
"We are glad to see that it is peaceful as well."
I smirked at my companion, "If it's so peaceful, what are you doing here?"
"We were worried about thee," Luna answered honestly, returning my gaze and looking into my soul at the same time, "Since thy nightmare in Canterlot, we have not felt thy subconscious in the dream realm."
"That's because I haven't slept."
"Pray tell, why?"
"Just didn't want to," I answered bluntly, assuming that the response was obvious, "Didn't want to have another nightmare."
"And yet thou slumber now. What has changed?"
I turned my head back to view the setting I had created, "Fluttershy sung me to sleep. She's very worried about me."
"We do not doubt that."
"I'm lucky to have her," I smiled, looking back at Luna, "I wish she could be with me right now."
"Shared dreams are a very difficult state to achieve," Luna mused, "To accomplish it takes either great control or great magic."
"Not enough to just be connected to someone on an emotional level?"
"That never hurts," she glanced in my direction, "Thou does not like being apart from her, do thee?"
"No, I don't. I've barely let her out of my sight since we came home. Almost feels like she would disappear. I know that sounds foolish and illogical, but lately my mind has not been working rationally."
"It is not our place to question thy thought processes. On the contrary, We hope to understand thy emotions. Tell us, does fair Fluttershy improve thy state of being?"
"Of course she does," I answered, again wondering why Luna would ask such an obvious question, "She makes the pain go away. Today did not start out well. I wasn't even able to do my job properly. Then I went home, back to Fluttershy, and she healed me. She cares that I'm hurting and she does everything in her power to make me feel better."
The conversation lulled for a moment after this. However, I soon caught myself chuckling at a new thought.
"Pray tell, what is so humorous," Luna asked, confused.
"I was just thinking," I chuckled again, "Fluttershy is one of the most gentle, docile, shy, timid creatures on this planet, and yet she tries to protect me. She is brave enough to ask me about my problems, and she is kind enough to help me work through them. I can only hope that if the need every arose that I would be able to do the same for her."
"Mentally or physically," Luna smirked.
"Either," I replied, "I've already had my ribs broken defending her, what's a few more?"
"Let us hope it never comes to that."
Immediately after saying that, Luna cocked her head to one side, her expression one of a pony deep in thought.
"Something on your mind, princess?"
She smiled, "We believe that We can once again be of service to thee. As much as We enjoy our duty to banish nightmares, the fewer of them there are, the better."
"What do you have in mind?"
"It will take some time. Hopefully, thy shall receive it before Hearth's Warming. Call it an early wedding present."
"Uh, Luna," I chuckled again, "We're not quite there yet."
"Do not attempt to deny that this is thy dream," Luna responded, trying her best to sound serious, "Besides, We believe it is in thy best interests to make fair Fluttershy's dreams come true as well."
At first, I smiled. And then the implication of what Luna said hit me like a sack of apples.
"Luna, are you insinuating..."
But I never got to finish. Luna lit her horn, and before I knew what was happening, I found myself awake in bed with Fluttershy. My eyes immediately shifted to the peagsus, who was thankfully still sound asleep and curled up in my arms. Noting that it was slightly too early to be awake, I tightened my grip around my love, who cooed in approval. Nestling back into the pillow, I wondered what Fluttershy was dreaming about and what Luna had planned.
**********************
For the time being, I did not tell Fluttershy anything about my dream, simply saying that I had slept well. And sleep well I did, as night after night she soothed me into slumber.
The last day of the week happened to be Hearth's Warming, the Equestrian winter holiday. Thanks to Twilight, I had learned that this was not a winter solstice holiday, but in fact was a celebration of the founding of Equestria. Needless to say, my explanation of Christmas made Twilight ask if I was sure magic didn't exist in my old world, as the idea of a fat man riding in a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer sounded like magic to her.
For Hearth's Warming, there was to be a gathering at Sweet Apple Acres. The guest list consisted of the core Apple family, the Elements, the other two member of the CMC, Spike, and myself.
As it happened, Fluttershy and I arrived to the farm last. After being tackle-hugged by Pinkie and almost knocked down a second time by the CMC, Granny Smith called for dinner.
Dinner was highly informal, as there were not enough chairs for everyone. In the spirit, I took the floor, leaning my back against the leg of the living room couch. The three fillies and Spike took up the majority of the living room rug for themselves. Rarity and Fluttershy laid claim to the couch. Rainbow was content sitting in Granny Smith's rocking chair. Big Mac, Applejack, Granny Smith, and Twilight sat at the normal kitchen table which was still in view of the living room.
Of course, despite it arriving at the same time of year, Hearth's Warming is very different than Christmas. For one, it's not a consumer holiday. People are told on Earth that Christmas is about giving and receiving, mostly of expensive presents. And while there is a gift-giving part of Hearth's Warming, that's not the end-all-be-all, which was good for me as I am terrible at buying gifts.
No, Hearth's Warming is about bringing ponies together in friendship and harmony. And, as Applejack pointed out during her toast, having an alicorn, two unicorns, three pegasi, five Earth ponies, a dragon, and an alien break bread together is quite a show of kinsmanship.
For the record, everyone got a good chuckle out of AJ calling me an "alien", myself included.
The evening flew by. After dinner and dessert, then more dessert, we all gathered to play some games. At this time, we all learned a valuable lesson: Pinkie is the Lord of Charades, and to question her domain is to question whether you value your life. Seriously, it is unfathomable to me how that mare is able to stretch the bounds of physics and anatomy, sometimes at the same time.
All good things must come to an end, however, and after a few hours, the CMC and Spike began to nod off. As the three fillies were going to be spending the night there anyway, AJ and Rarity shuffled them off to bed. Spike tried to fight it off, and even protested for a time, until he basically fell asleep on his feet and would have smacked hardwood if Twilight hadn't caught him.
We all took that as a signal to call it a night, and one by one we bade the Apple family good night. Rarity and Twilight trotted off, Spike snoring on the latter's back. Pinkie bounced away, almost seeming more energetic then at the beginning. Rainbow soared toward her home. Lastly, Fluttershy and I began our trek to our abode.
When we passed the gate to the apple farm, I scooped Fluttershy off the ground and into my arms. My pegasus made an adorable little squeak as I did. As I continued to walk, I looked down upon the mare in my grasp, wondering if she had any comment for my actions. She did not give a vocal reply, but instead used body language, as she blushed and nestled her head into my chest. I smiled and kissed the top of her head, making her blush more.
By the time we reached the familiar cottage, Fluttershy had completely relaxed. She was so relaxed that she barely moved when we came inside out of the cold. For a moment, I thought she had actually fallen asleep, but then she did stir in order to look up and smile at me.
"Ready for bed," she asked sleepily.
"Yeah," I nodded, "You?"
A small yawn escaped her, "Mhmm, you go upstairs, I'll be right there."
I gently placed Fluttershy on the floor and trudged up the stairs to our bedroom. While changing into a pair of sweatpants, I wondered briefly when our new bed would arrive. Pushing the thought aside, I slipped into bed and made myself comfortable under the covers and quilt.
I must have been more tired then I thought, as I nearly fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. However, I fought it off for the time being, at least until my bedmate got there.
Fortunately, I didn't have to wait long as Fluttershy glided into the room and wasted little time burrowing under the covers and cuddling against me in her typical fashion. For a moment, I thought I felt a shiver come from my love, so I instinctively wrapped my arms tighter around her.
"Happy Hearth's Warming," Fluttershy mumbled so quietly I barely made it out, "I love you."
I sighed and held her just a bit tighter, "I love you too. Happy Hearth's Warming."
Chapter 2: Explaining Myself
Princess Twilight Sparkle, or just Twilight, as she insisted, led me through town toward some destination. With her by my side, the other horses, who I had begun to assume were this town's actual citizens, began to come out and go about their business again, content in their knowledge that if Twilight said I was OK, then I was OK. Eventually, we reached a rather large oak tree, which had a door and windows. Obviously someone had retrofitted it to make it a building. Twilight wasn't hesitant to explain that it was actually a library and her home.
As we were about to head inside, I noticed Twilight's horn glow a shade of purple not unlike her coat color. Soon the door to the tree was glowing the same color, and it opened soon thereafter. I kept silent for the time being, confident that if Twilight was going to play '20 Questions' with me, that I could get a few of my own answered in due time. I ducked my head in through the doorway, which led to a open room, fortunately with a much higher ceiling, lined from top to bottom, all the way around, with bookcases. I hadn't seen so many books in one place since college.
"Spike," Twilight called once we were comfortably inside, "will you come down here please."
I could hear many quick footsteps coming from the upper floor of the tree-house and making their way down the stairs. I turned to look at who was making the sounds and had to do another double-take. On the stairs stood a short, bipedal creature, mostly purple except for his belly and the spines going down his back, which were green. He seemed very reptilian in appearance, with short claws and reasonably sharp teeth. His tail was made of the same material as his body, coming to a point.
"Hey Twilight, what did you, sweet Celestia, what is that," the little reptile had spotted me and freaked out, cowering on the far side of the stairs, holding his tail in his hands.
"It's OK Spike, this is a human, he's not going to hurt you." Spike nervously continued making his way down the stairs. Twilight pointed her hoof in one direction, and Spike went there, soon returning with multiple sheets of parchment paper, fine quills, and ink pots. He set them all on a table in front of Twilight, and she quickly picked up one of the quills with the same glowing thing she had used on the door. I sat myself on the floor, figuring that would be the most comfortable position to be in. "Now," she continued once everything was in order, "I'm going to ask you a series of questions, just on basic things. I'll be taking down copious notes, Princess Celestia will want to hear about you. OK first...oh, I almost forgot, you never told me your name."
I sighed, trying to be calm, "You can call me whatever you want."
"Well that doesn't make any sense," Twilight responded, "you certainly have a name, right? What did the other humans call you?"
"It doesn't matter what humans called me. I'm not around humans anymore, now am I? Besides, I've noticed that you ponies have very...interesting naming practices. My real name would sound strange and foreign to them. Call me whatever you want to call me." I let my eyes rise back to Twilight, who still wore a look of sheer confusion.
"OK then," the pony was now in thought as she considered a potential name, "Would you mind if I called you 'Guy'?"
"Not in the slightest, princess."
"OK, now that that's settled, the real questions can begin. When we found you, you said you didn't know where you were. So, how did you get here?"
I hesitated before answering, maybe because I didn't want to talk about it, or maybe because I thought it might not be the best topic to start the conversation with. "I was trying to kill myself," I finally said after a sigh. I could see Twilight's eyes react, as if she found this very intriguing, "I jumped off a bridge into the ocean, but instead of hitting the water, I somehow ended up in a field outside town."
"Why were you trying to die," Twilight asked in a genuinely curious tone of voice.
"I'd rather not talk about it," I closed my eyes and laid all the way down, acting as if this was a trip to my therapist, "I know that's not what you want, but I'm entitled to keeping personal things to myself."
"I completely understand," she replied, but as she was about to ask the next question, something stopped her, "But, if you wanted to do that, you must not have been happy. Why weren't you happy?"
"A person who understands doesn't continue with a question like that," I muttered, slightly annoyed, "You want to know about humans and about my world, that's fine by me. You want to know about me and my feelings, you'll have to earn it."
"OK then," Twilight sighed, a noticeable inflection of sadness in her voice, "Just one little question, and then I'll drop the subject. If I could figure out a way, would you want to go back to your world?" This question actually surprised me, as I hadn't considered the possibility until now. I sat up and looked Twilight straight in the eyes.
"No."
True to her word, Twilight dropped the subject. We went on for literally hours, her asking questions, and me answering them the best I knew how. She asked about laws, politics, language, arts, and sciences. She asked about how people acted, how people dressed, how people spent money, and how people made money. Eventually, I began to wear out. I hadn't eaten anything that day, and it didn't seem like there was an end to the questions.
"I believe it is time for dinner," Twilight finally announced, much to my relief, "I'll have Spike prepare some..." She stopped completely, even stopped moving. "Silly me, I never asked you anything about what humans eat."
"We're omnivores," I said flatly, she nodded as a sign that she knew what the word meant, "But, as I suppose all you eat here is plant-life, then I guess I'm lucky that I do like salad." Twilight unfroze herself and smiled a knowing little smile.
"I think our diet consists of a little more than you think it does."
Dinner went by fairly quickly. Spike, who I learned was a baby dragon, which scared me a little at first, but he seemed pleasant enough, prepared me a nice little mixed salad, while Twilight consumed what I believe were daisies between two pieces of wheat bread. Spike had also made some herbal tea, which he said he got from someone named 'Fluttershy'. Twilight, seeing my confusion at the name, ensured me that she would introduce me to the ponies in town in the next day or two.
"Now that dinner's wrapped up," my hostess said, returning to her original table, "I think it's only fair that I tell you a little about where you are now." I returned to my seated position on the floor and listened patiently as Twilight went on about the differences between alicorns, unicorns, pegasi, and Earth ponies, the reigning sovereigns, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, some geography, some general history, some personal history, and other general information. While fascinating, I had to admit that it was also putting me to sleep, as Twilight had this way of speaking very reminiscent of a college professor. "Any questions," she asked, finally finishing her lecture.
"Just one," I yawned, looking out the front window to the already-risen Moon, "where am I going to sleep?"
"I have a spare bed," the princess smiled, "though it was built for a pony, so it may be a bit short." I gave a little shrug, it didn't matter much to me, as long as I would be able to sleep, it had been a long day.
We went up to the second floor, where the beds were. Spike laid down in his basket, much like a dog would. Twilight magically lifted her covers back and got into bed. I had to crawl over to the bed, the ceiling now being too low for me to stand. The bed, at least length-wise, was very short. I had noticed that Twilight stood about three feet at the shoulder, while I was all of six feet. I decided to sleep on top of the covers, angling myself so that one foot ended up on the ground, but most of me was still on the bed. It did take me awhile to finally fall asleep, but once I did, it was quite restful.
Chapter 3: The Gang's All Here
The sunlight beaming through the rather large window in the bedroom stirred me awake the next morning. Looking around, I didn't see Twilight or Spike, but I could hear them downstairs. I looked past Twilight's bed, where an old-fashioned clock hung. It read ten o'clock. I was quite surprised that I had slept as long as I did, though I realized that I had no clue what time I had gone to bed in the first place. As I made my way downstairs, my nose was filled with the scent of one of my favorite breakfast foods.
"You ponies eat pancakes," I asked when I reached the kitchen where my housemates were eating.
"Like I said, there's more to our diets than you think," Twilight replied, levitating a fork with her magic and picking up the last bit of food on her plate. I kneeled at the table, which made me the perfect height, as Spike handed me a plate stacked with three pancakes, still fresh, along with a fork.
"So what's on the agenda for today," I asked as I began to devour the rather tasty food in front of me.
"Not much, to tell you the truth, but if my calculations are correct, a certain pony should be barging through the front door in 3...2...1..."
"Twilight, Twilight, Twilight," a voice speedily called from the front room, the bearer having apparently just let themselves in, "is it here, is it here, is it here?" The voice was very high-pitched, and sounded as if the person was talking while performing jumping jacks. Twilight, Spike, and I got up from the table and walked to the source of the noise.
There, in the middle of the room, bouncing up and down seemingly endlessly, was the pinkest pony I had ever seen. She was literally pink from mane to tail, both of which were very poofy and springy in their own right. Her eyes were like giant milk saucers, and the grin on her face stretched to an almost impossible size.
"Yes Pinkie," Twilight sighed, "this is him." I smiled and raised my right hand up to my forehead and gave a little salute in greeting. The pink pony wasted no time in rushing right over.
"Wow Twilight I've never seen anything like this before," she spoke at a mile-a-minute, running around and examining me from every possible angle, "What is it? Is it an animal? It's definitely not a pony. Can it talk? Does it understand us? Does it want to be friends? I hope it wants to be friends, cause you know how much I like making new friends."
The little pony went on this for some time before Twilight finally got her to stop. "Pinkie Pie, first of all, he's not an 'it' he's a 'he'. And yes, he does want to be friends."
"Woohoo," Pinkie cried, springing into the air and landing actually quite hard, but it didn't seem to slow her down, "You know what this means, there's a new friend in town, and if there's a new friend in town, it means that there has to be a party, and if there has to be a party, that means that I have a party to plan. See you guys later, bye." And with that, Pinkie zipped out the door of the library just as quickly as she had entered.
We all stood there in stunned silence for a moment or two, before I finally started chuckling, which turned into outright laughter. I had actually forgotten what it felt like to legitimately laugh at something.
"Please don't tell me all the ponies around here are like that," I said, still coming down off my laughter. Twilight waved a hoof in my direction.
"Oh no, Pinkie Pie is one-of-a-kind," she chuckled herself, magically pulling out some writing tools, "And now that she knows you're here, she's going to be throwing a party this afternoon, so that gives us something to do."
"So what do you suggest we do until then," I asked, curious as to why Twilight had brought out those things.
"Well I'm going to write a letter to Princess Celestia, informing her that you are here. I think she'll be very interested in my findings about a sentient being from another world. You can do what you like, I'll tell you when we should leave for the party." With that, my hostess got right to her work, quickly scribbling out her letter, her lips moving as she wrote.
I shrugged at her suggestion, not sure exactly what I wanted to do. Then I remembered something I saw when we I had first seen the tree-house yesterday. On one side, there was a kind of veranda, a place where one could sit and take in some fresh air, and fresh air sounded like a pretty good idea. I made my way up there as quickly as I could, still getting used to the relative heights of everything and how they were not made for anything of my stature.
When I made it out on the veranda, I once again sat down, my hands propping me up, and my knees bent, but not all the way to my chest. I took deep breaths, taking in the view from my position. I could see various pegasi flying about, as well as multiple ponies walking around, chatting among themselves. In the middle of all of this, I had a realization. For being in an entirely new world where I hardly knew anyone, and for being the only one of my kind here, this wasn't that bad. I thought for a moment about the answer I had given Twilight the previous day when she asked if I would ever want to go back where I came from. I smiled a little when I realized that my answer hadn't come from momentary unpleasantness, but from a place of uncertain optimism that told me that, for whatever this place may hold for me, it couldn't be worse than where I had been.
Time must have flown by as I sat there, not really thinking about anything in particular. Before I knew it, Twilight was calling my name and saying that it was time to set off. I got up from my comfortable position and made my way downstairs again where she and Spike were waiting. We swiftly headed out and back into town, in the direction of the local bakery and confectionery, Sugarcube Corner. Twilight told me that Pinkie worked and lived there with the owners, the Cakes. After I jokingly mentioned how much sense it made for ponies with the last name "Cake" to own a bakery, Twilight laughed and said that that kind of alignment was very common.
By the time we reached our destination, the party was already underway. There were ponies everywhere I looked, all of them different, whether due to the type of pony they were, or due to their coloring. I was amazed at just how many color combinations there were, and it actually made my eyes hurt a little, like I was staring at one of those eye trick pictures.
"You're here," I heard Pinkie's voice cry out. By the time I turned to face the right way, she had nearly reached me. With one last, larger, bounce, she landed smack in the middle of my chest, her front hooves enveloping me in a massive hug. Unfortunately, the momentum of the bounce, combined with her added weight, made me top-heavy and I fell down right on my back. This didn't stop the hug, however, not by a long shot, as she attempted to squeeze the life right out of me before finally letting me up.
"Glad to see you again too, Pinkie," I winced, still trying to get air into my lungs.
"See what I mean, Twi," another familiar voice said, "you don't stop Pinkie from attacking him." I looked and once again saw the same rainbow-maned pegasus who was with Twilight when I first entered town. She was hovering a few feet off the ground, her forelimbs crossed in frustration. "Anyway," she continued, now directing her attention to me, "I guess if Pinkie likes you, then you're OK. The name's Rainbow Dash, and all you need to know is that I'm awesome." The pegasus landed on the ground and struck a little pose, forehoof pointing at her chest.
"Oh, knock it off Rainbow," an orange pony with a cowboy hat and a southern accent walked up to us, "Ah don't reckon he appreciates yer gloatin' all that much." The two of them stared off for a moment.
"You're just jealous because you can't top that awesome introduction."
"Hmph," the cowpony snorted, turning her attention away from Rainbow, tipping her hat up so that she could actually see me, "Hi, Ah'm Applejack, pleasure to make yer acquaintance." Applejack reached up with her right hoof. Not knowing what else to do in this situation, I reached down with my right hand and firmly shook her hoof. I was surprised to find that her hoof actually seemed to grip my hand in return, and not just hang there like I assumed.
"We've arrived," a new voice said in a kind of sing-song manner, I whipped around to see two ponies standing in the doorway, a pure white unicorn with a stunning purple mane, and a pastel yellow pegasus with a flowing pink mane, the latter seemed to be hiding in fear, "I do so hope we haven't missed any of the festivities." I had to admit that I found her accent quite pleasing to my ear.
"Actually, you're just in time," Twilight smiled, motioning a hoof in my direction, "Rarity, Fluttershy, this is Guy."
"Very pleased to meet you," Rarity put her right hoof out, but in a much slower, more deliberate fashion. Deciding that she wouldn't be as receptive to the firm handshake I'd given Applejack, I held it in my left hand.
"The pleasure's all mine," I said, bowing even further down than I already had to. These may have been ponies, not people, but I knew a lady when I heard one, and if my mother taught me anything it was how to treat a lady.
Rarity then stepped aside, leaving Fluttershy alone in the doorway. With the other five ponies I had already met behind me, she cowered just a little, trying to be as calm as possible.
After a few tense moments, however, her resolve failed, and she gave a little yelp as she dove underneath a couch which sat in the room. She began shaking, covering her eyes with her forehooves.
"Aww, come on Fluttershy," Pinkie Pie bounced, "you don't need to be scared, promise." The timid pegasus didn't move an inch. An idea popped into my head, and I got down on my knees and sat back on my heels, looking underneath the couch, but still far enough away so that she didn't feel trapped.
"So you're the one who makes that amazing herbal tea," I politely asked. This at least had the effect of slowing her shaking. "Spike brewed some up over dinner last night, and I must say, I'm usually not one to drink hot tea, but that stuff was incredible. Is it all organic?" Now Fluttershy had uncovered her eyes, and nodded as best she could from her prone position. "That's remarkable. Tasty, and good for one's health as well." Fluttershy slowly backed her way out from underneath the couch.
"Did...did you really enjoy it," she asked in a very small voice once she had made her way out and gotten into a seated position herself.
"Of course I did. Best tea I've ever had," I gave a little smile, which the pegasus returned.
"Well, um, thank you very much," she reached out with her right hoof, which I took in both of my hands.
After I had gotten myself back up, Twilight took the liberty of walking me around and introducing me to most everyone at the party. We saw Golden Harvest, who apologized for freaking out and causing a commotion when I first got to town. I said there was no need for apologizing. There was a unicorn named Lyra Heartstrings who seemed imminently fascinated with me, particularly with how my fingers worked. And there was a pony named Berryshine who almost spilled her drink all over me when she walked straight into my leg. All in all, I found the ponies very nice, and almost overly friendly, but that didn't bother me too much.
As the saying goes, however, all good things must come to an end. The partiers eventually dissipated, eventually leaving only the first six ponies I met, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, and myself. Even Pinkie had begun to wear herself out which, as I was told, was quite the feat.
"So how did you like your official welcome party," Pinkie asked me, her voice not quite as bouncy as usual.
"I had a great time," I smiled, which caused Pinkie's perpetual smile to get even larger, "you ponies sure know how to welcome somebody. I think I'm going to enjoy my time here."
Chapter 4: Being Human Has its Perks
I awoke the following morning to the sound of knocking at the front door of Twilight's house. As I groggily peered around the room, I could see that again, somehow or other, Twilight and Spike had both gotten up without stirring me. It was a little earlier than the previous day had started, which I was thankful for. If there was one thing I never needed to worry about, it was getting enough sleep. Whomever was at the door knocked a second time before they were greeted. As I began to make my way downstairs, I could hear the unmistakable voice of Rarity.
"Oh, there he is," she smiled, noticing me coming down the stairs.
"Guy, Rarity was just asking me if you could go over to her place," Twilight explained. I tilted my head, wondering what the unicorn would need me for.
"I don't see why not," I answered, heading to the door and opening it, "shall we?" Rarity gave her mane a little flip, making sure her front curl was sitting perfectly before exiting.
I followed Rarity to her home, which was also her place of business, Carousel Boutique. Twilight had told me that she was a fashion designer, though, to be honest, fashion was not high on the list of things I paid particular attention to. Still, judging from her obvious preoccupation with style and beauty, it seemed like the perfect job for her.
"Now," she said as we both entered the boutique, "you're surely wondering why I've requested you so early in the morning." I had to admit that that was the exact question on my mind. "You see, you're something different, what did Twilight call you again, oh yes, a human. And she also told me how you wear clothes at all times, though she still didn't exactly understand why. Nevertheless, I've decided to take it upon myself to learn how to fashion clothes for you, so that you aren't going around in, how should I put it, the same dirty ones you wore yesterday."
She did have a point. Obviously I only had one set of clothes, and it wouldn't hurt to have new ones. "Thank you for the generous offer," I smiled, bowing my head slightly in acknowledgement, "but that still doesn't answer why you needed me so early in the morning."
"Oh that's easy," she chuckled, motioning a hoof toward a tall, free-standing object made of wood, "I wanted to take your measurements as soon as possible and get it out of the way. Now if you would be so kind as to undress."
I could feel my face getting just a little bit red. It'd been awhile since a female had asked me to take my clothes off, and even longer since one with such an attractive accent did so. It took me a moment or two to remind myself that Rarity wasn't a human woman, but a magical unicorn. A beautiful magical unicorn, but a magical unicorn nonetheless. I mentally slapped myself at the thought of being sexually attracted to a talking pony.
"Is that entirely necessary," I almost stuttered, the sane side of my brain fighting off the testosterone. Rarity opened her eyes, but this time with more of a 'what do you think?' look.
"How do you expect me to take your proper measurements if you're wearing such baggy clothing." This snapped me back to full sanity, as I now thought of protesting her definition of the word 'baggy'. My shirt was maybe a little large, but if anything my blue jeans were a bit short in the length, and I only needed to hook onto the first notch on my belt. "So off you go then, she said, magically pulling the dressing screen closer, "this won't take long."
There was no point in arguing about it anymore. Not to mention that if I wanted new clothes anytime soon, this was the only way to get them. I quickly ducked behind the wooden screen to remove my clothing. I had to admit that I'd always had a little bit of a body image issue. It was never that I was fat, quite the opposite, but rather that woman I had dated always seemed to have this bad habit of comparing me to their former boyfriends, who almost always turned out to be better-looking guys with attitude issues. But as I thought about it, I realized that I was now in a realm sans humans, where these ponies wouldn't know what is supposedly 'beautiful' and what isn't, at least in human terms. My mind put at ease for the time being, I went back to the task at hand. When I had gotten down to nothing but my pair of red, white, and black plaid boxers I stepped back out. I saw that Rarity was now sporting a pair of very small glasses with red frames, and holding a tape measure.
It took almost an hour for Rarity to check and double check all of my measurements. It seems that I have quite a few lengths and widths that she never encountered before with her equine clientele, particularly where my hands and feet were concerned. As with most other ponies I had met, she was fascinated with my hands, but this time more for their intracacies and dexterity than for the novel of them. I made a couple of jokes about biology and the handiness of hands. She explained to me that when winter came, I would need gloves, boots, scarves, coats, and hats, and she wanted to be completely prepared so that we would only need to do this once. I admired her due diligence and her attention to detail, as well as the knowledge that I would only have to be put through this ringer one time.
"Thanks again, Rarity," I said as I redressed, not even bothering with the screen at this point, "I really appreciate it." The unicorn smiled and waved her hoof.
"Think nothing of it, darling. It would not be very polite of me if I didn't use my talents to help you in some way. With these measurements, I should have some new clothes for you in a few days." I again bowed my head slightly before making a move for the door. "Oh, Guy," she called, "could you do me a favor and grab that roll of blue material off that top shelf, please." I looked over to the only shelving in my line of sight and saw the roll in question. For a moment, I wondered why a three-foot-tall pony would put something so high up before remembering that Rarity could use magic. I easily reached up and grabbed the material she wanted, taking a few steps back toward her before she levitated it out of my hands. "Thank you. You know, I'm sure there are many ponies in town who would find those hands of yours very advantageous." She turned and went back to her work.
As I left the boutique, I thought about this idea to myself. Of course, every pony in Equestria had hooves, making me the only being around with fingers. On top of that, Twilight had explained to me the basic currency of the Equestrian economy, bits, and I figured I would need to get some kind of work to be able to have some spending money. But what exactly? In my former world, I had trained to be a teacher, and had even done so for a short time. I didn't have much experience with physical labor, and I certainly didn't have the strength for it. As I aimlessly walked through town, I turned over in my mind what jobs I could do and how exactly I would go about being known for doing that job when a voice called out to me.
"You there," a male with a slight British accent shouted. I looked around to see if there was anyone else he could be talking to and, finding none, simply pointed to myself. "Yes you, oh blast, what did they call you, yes, the human. I wish to speak with you about something." As he made his way over to me, I noted his details. He was an Earth pony, brown in coloring, with a mane of a slightly darker shade of brown. The mark on his flank, his "cutie mark" as I had learned they were called, was an old-fashioned golden hourglass. "Do pardon me for just calling you in the middle of the street like this," he apologized when he reached me, "my name is Time Turner, pleased to meet you." I shook his hoof, still wondering what he wanted with me. "Yes, well, you see, my business is clock-making. I make alarm clocks, grandfather clocks, coo-coo clocks, hoof watches, pocket watches, stopwatches, anything that tells time, I can craft. Right, so I saw you at the party yesterday, and couldn't help but notice the nimble and precise movements of your, um, whatever you have in place of hooves, and whatever those extra bits on the ends are." I chuckled a bit.
"Well, Time Turner," I lectured, "these are hands, and the bits on the ends are called fingers. And yes, I suppose they are quite nimble." He laughed at himself and how silly he sounded before continuing.
"Of course, so I was thinking that you would be great at helping me with my business. You see, being an Earth pony and not having magic, I have to be very slow and careful with my hooves when I work. But you, you would be able to work with the exact same precision, but much faster." He smiled with glee at his suggestion.
"Um, thanks for the compliment," I said, scratching the back of my head, "but I don't have any experience with making clocks, I'm not sure I'd be good at it."
"Nonsense," he said, waving his hoof, "the princess told me that you are a quick study and a fast learner. Tell you what, you come down to my shop, I'll tell you the basics, and if you think you can do it, I'll hire you on as my apprentice. If not, well then nothing lost." He smiled again, this time eagerly awaiting my response.
"I don't see why not," I shrugged, "let's get going."
My new friend's business wasn't very far. It was a little shop, with a sign that read "Time Turner's Timey-Wimeys". Something about that phrase seemed familiar, but I shrugged it off. When I entered, I was quite surprised. For one, the shop seemed to have a lot more space on the inside, especially considering all the clocks on the walls. And there were a lot of clocks. Time Turner wasn't joking about all the different kinds of timepieces. He began to say some technical babble about clock-making, but I'll admit I wasn't paying full attention, instead focused on examining the many pieces of his work he had displayed.
"...and that's how my business operates," Time Turner finished his spiel, looking at me from behind the counter. "Would you care to start learning about the actual practical manufacturing of timepieces?" I had to admit that I found his syntax and language quite nice, as it reminded me of my father.
"Let us begin post-haste," I replied, trying to reach back to a little bit of superior syntax on my own.
We spent the rest of the morning, and most of the afternoon in the shop, as he taught me the general points and finer details of his craft. I surprised myself by how quickly I was able to pick up the techniques. Like Time Turner said, my hands and fingers allowed me to do some things much easier and quicker than he could, and this filled me with some vague sense of pride and accomplishment. By the time I left, I felt confident that I could continue on with this job.
**********************************************
"Twilight, Spike, are you here," I called when I made it back to my place of residence.
"In the study," Twilight called down to me. I made my way upstairs as quickly as I could. "I didn't expect you to be gone for as long as you were. Did it really take Rarity that long?" She never took her eyes off whatever she was working on, and I chuckled to myself.
"No, no, she did her work very quickly. But on my way back I ran into Time Turner."
"Oh, he finally found you, huh, he told me he desperately wanted to speak to you about something. What was it?"
"He wanted to make me an aprentice at his shop, and I agreed." This statement finally got Twilight to turn around and face me.
"That's great, Guy. Good to hear you were able to find some work."
"Yeah," I scratched the back of my head, "figure I needed a way to make bits anyway."
"Well that's certainly a way to start," Twilight said, returning to her project, "it seems your becoming more and more comfortable here everyday." I smiled at this thought.
"Yeah, I suppose I am."
Chapter 5: Inner Demons and Outer Angels
The fog was knee-deep, and thick enough to cut with a chainsaw. It sort of reminded me of those mornings at home when the low clouds would sweep over the city, laying down a layer so thick that you could hardly drive. I wasn't exactly sure where I was, all I knew for the time being is that it was very poorly lit, but not poor enough to where I couldn't see. I took a few steps forward, every step taking great effort, like I was walking through not pillowy clouds, but dense snow. After a time, I stopped. It didn't seem like I was getting anywhere, and certainly didn't know where I was going. While I was contemplating my situation, a blast of cold air hit me right in the chest and face, sending shivers all through my body, though the feelings subsided as quickly as they had arrived.
"Well, well, well," a hollow, feminine voice echoed from the ether, "look who's come back." I tried to turn in the direction I thought the voice was coming from, but soon realized that I was stuck in place, not able to even lift my feet.
"Leave me alone," I muttered angrily. The voice just laughed at my demand.
"It's not my fault you've returned," the voice seemed closer now, and I noted that it sounded familiar, "Besides, you know full well that I can't just leave you alone."
"I know this is a dream," I said, trying to remain calm, "or rather, a nightmare. I just have to wake up." Again the voice laughed, this time more maniacally than the last.
"Waking up doesn't banish me, I'll still be in the back, if not the front, of your mind. I wouldn't be here right now if I wasn't."
"Dammit," I muttered under my breath, acknowledging that the voice was correct, "I was so close too." The voice laughed a third time.
"Close? Is that what you call throwing yourself off a bridge? That just proves how powerful I am, and how weak you are. You couldn't get rid of me any way you knew how, so you made a fatal decision. At least it would have been fatal, if you weren't the luckiest man alive. Or, perhaps that should be, the unluckiest man alive."
The fog began to dissipate, giving me a better view of the landscape. I was standing on something solid, though it wasn't the ground. Looking to my left and right revealed that I was standing on a bridge, over some water. In fact, it looked a lot like the last thing I saw before I fell into Equestria. I tried to take a step back from the edge, but found my feet still firmly planted where they were.
I felt another blast of air, this time from behind. I wasn't fazed by this sudden change of temperature as I had been before.
"Why are you doing this," I yelled, now thoroughly pissed off, "Why do you keep doing this!?" I felt a chill run down my spine, and I sensed that something, or someone, was standing right behind me.
"Because," the voice whispered right into my ear, "you want to die."
With those words, a force knocked my from my standing position, and over the edge. I felt myself slowly falling toward the water below. But unlike the last time I had been in this position, it was no longer exhilarating, this time, it was down-right terrifying.
"NO," I screamed over and over," NO! NO! NO!"
****************************************************************
"NO," I shot up in my bed, yelling as I did so. Unfortunately, I must have shifted around in my sleep, because I fell right off the bed and landed hard on the floor. The sound of my body making impact woke Twilight up with a start.
"Who? What," the alicorn cried out, quickly turning on her bedside light. She could see me on the ground, lying face-down, "Guy! Are you alright?"
"Dammit," I yelled, slamming my fist onto the hardwood floor, "dammit!" I stumbled to my feet, breathing heavily. I could feel cold sweat dripping down my back, legs, and forehead. I probably looked like I had seen a ghost.
"What happened," Twilight asked, concern marking her every facial feature.
"Just a nightmare," I replied, trying to calm down, "just...a nightmare." I sat back on the bed and quickly put on my shoes, after which I started to make my way downstairs, not looking back.
"Where are you going," Twilight called after me as she made her way down the steps.
"I just need to go for a walk," I still wasn't breathing properly, and my heart was beating like it was trying to break out of my chest, "I need to relax." Before Twilight could ask me anything else, I ducked out of the library, and started on my way.
I trudged down the road toward Sweet Apple Acres, the sun just now starting to rise. I knew of a little corner on the far-side of the property where I could just sit down, lean against the fence, and maybe take out my anger and frustration on a fence post if I needed to. The Apple family farm was the farthest from Ponyville of any major landmark, but the trip had gotten easier and easier over time. I had to admit, even in the few weeks that I had been in Equestria, I was already in better shape than I had been before. A combination of having to walk almost everywhere and an almost-strictly vegetarian diet had made me leaner and given me more stamina.
Eventually, I reached my destination. I stepped away from the main road and strode up to the painted white fence. Sitting down on the still dew-covered grass, I leaned back against the fence and closed my eyes as I put my face in my hands. I had to try and relax, I had to get the voice out of my head. This had been my third nightmare this week, but this was the most severe. I just sat there, doing my best to empty my mind, or, even better, try to focus on something else, like what Time Turner would have me doing today, or maybe something interesting I could ask Twilight about, anything to get my mind off the nightmare.
I sat there for a great while, though of course I had no idea how long it had actually been. Then, I felt a sort of tap on my left shin, and then another. Figuring it was just a loose blade of grass, I reached down with a hand to brush it away, my eyes still shut in contemplation. A few seconds later, and I felt yet another round of tapping, this time more persistent and strong. Getting irritated, I finally opened my eyes to see what could be disturbing me. I looked down and saw a small white rabbit with big black eyes, looking up at me with a very confused expression as it wiggled its nose back and forth.
"Angel," I finally managed to utter, "what are you doing out here?"
"Angel," I heard another voice cry out, this one in more panic and fear, "where did you go?" The bunny and I both turned to see a yellow pegasus flying up the road from the opposite direction I had come. "Oh there you are, Angel Bunny. You know better than to run off on me like that." Fluttershy finally made it up to where the two of us were sitting and picked the bunny up into her arms. "Oh, good morning Guy," she said in the bright and cheery tone that I had found was her normal voice when she wasn't scared.
"Good morning, Fluttershy," I replied solemnly, bowing my head between my knees.
"I-Is something wrong," the pegasus asked, I still didn't look up.
"No, no," I lied, "you needn't worry about it."
"Are you sure," she said, now landing on the road, releasing Angel from her grasp, which allowed him to come back to where he had been sitting next to me before.
"No, I'm not sure," I said, finally looking up at her, "But I don't think you, or anyone around here for that matter, would understand."
"Um...I could...try, if you want me to, that is."
I stared for a moment into those soft teal eyes, contemplating her offer. I had calmed down significantly since I had woken up, and I had always been told that holding stuff in never did anybody any good.
"OK, Fluttershy," I finally said, smiling slightly, "but only because I have to talk to someone." The timid pegasus flittered closer to where I sat. She sat down on the grass as well, with Angel Bunny moving closer to her. "It's a bit complicated," I continued, going back and forth between looking at her and looking away from her, "you see, I'm not as healthy as I seem."
"You're sick," my companion responded with concern, "oh goodness."
"It's not that kind of sick. I'm not physically sick, I'm mentally sick. Like, a little crazy."
"But everypony is a little crazy," Fluttershy responded, surprisingly confident.
"Few are crazy enough to jump off a bridge. You see, where I came from, there are doctors who deal specifically with these types of illnesses, illnesses of the mind. I went to one on a regular basis, and he gave me medicine which helped it."
"Well that's good."
"Yeah," I nodded, "unfortunately, since I've been here, I obviously haven't taken anything, and so I'm falling back into ill health."
"That's not so good. What kind of medicine was it?"
"I don't know the technical name for it, but in general, it was a mood-stabilizer. Something to keep me from getting too depressed, sort of like I am right now."
"Why are you feeling sad now?"
"I've been having nightmares, terrible, terrible, nightmares. Last night marked the third time this week. I don't know how much longer I can go on if these keep happening." I could feel my eyes welling up a bit as I spoke, a common occurrence when talking about such things, but I really wasn't in the mood for crying right now. Fortunately, Fluttershy couldn't see it.
"And am I to assume that the medicine helped with that too?"
I turned to face Fluttershy again and simply nodded. "I wish I didn't need the medicine, but where I was, I needed it desperately. I've been doing better here, but the inner demons have begun to come out of the woodwork again, just as I feared."
I bowed my head again. The three of us just sat there for awhile, none of us sure what to say, or do, next. When I finally did look back over at my pegasus companion, she seemed deep in thought herself. My mind, on the other hand, was a complete blank for a change.
Then I felt the touch of something on my shoulder. I turned and saw that it was Fluttershy's forehoof. "Is...is there anything I can do to help," she said slowly, somehow I knew that she was forcing herself to be a bit more brave.
"I'm not entirely sure," I mimicked her slow speech, but then smiled, "what you just did was pretty helpful."
"It...it was," she seemed shocked at this revelation.
"Sure. If you hadn't been out here with Angel, I would still be leaning up against this fence moping. You got me to say what was going on in my head, and that is helpful to me. Thank you."
Fluttershy smiled and looked down. I could see just a hint of a blush. "You're welcome," she replied, in a slightly smaller voice. I began to get up off the grass and brush myself off. "Um...where are you going now?"
"Oh," I said, smiling and rubbing the back of my head, "well now that I'm feeling better, I've gotta go back and explain to Twilight why I bolted out the door this morning."
"Oh...OK," the pegasus said with just a hint of sadness, "Come on, Angel Bunny, it's time to go home." She once again picked up the little rabbit and began to fly back down the road, but I stopped her.
"Hey, Fluttershy," I called, she turned around almost instantly, "I'm feeling better now because of you, just so you know. Thanks again." She hit me with a little smile that made a shiver run up my spine.
"You're welcome. See you around, Guy."
I waved as she once again went to make her way home. For some reason, I couldn't help but stand there and watch until she was out of sight.
Chapter 1: Crossing the Plane
It was raining. Of course it was raining, it fit my mood perfectly. Those so-called experts on TV said that there would be scattered showers all over the Bay Area over the course of the week. Instead, it seemed as if the entire Pacific Ocean had decided to fall on San Francisco all at once, and all on me. Not that I minded much, I actually like rainy days. At least it was cool, not like those weeks at a time when the sun beamed down relentlessly like it was out to get you. No, this was pretty nice.
I was much more focused on where I was headed, anyway. My path led me along the wharf, down toward the Golden Gate Bridge. No, I wasn't going to Oakland or anything. I didn't intend on making it across the bridge in the first place. Thoughts like that one had been racking my brain nonstop for weeks, and no amount of medication, or alcohol, or women, or willpower could shake them from my mind.
It's not as if I wanted to die, quite the contrary, death scared the hell out of me. It was just that I didn't see any good reason to continue trudging along this endless path, a path that was leading me nowhere, a path that was never going to get me anywhere. At least, that's how I had explained it to my therapist last week. And since I was too afraid to pull the trigger, or slash my wrists, I figured I would let the ocean do my dirty work.
I passed a man on the side of the street, under an awning of some apartment building. He was playing a guitar and humming a bit. A hat sat beside him, flipped upside-down, an obvious sign. I stood there, drenched from head-to-toe, listening to him for a minute. He actually wasn't half bad, I'd certainly heard worse before. When he finally did notice me listening, he nodded at me, I nodded back. I stepped over toward him, not three steps, reaching into the back pocket of my blue jeans for my wallet. I took out every bill I had in there, I think it amounted to about fifty bucks, and dropped it in the hat. He stopped playing, but only for a second, nodded at me again, and went on playing. I went on my way as well, making sure he didn't see me as I dropped my wallet, and whatever was still inside it, into a trashcan at the corner.
Eventually, I reached my final destination, and began crossing the bridge, of course walking on the pedestrian sidewalk that is there. I chuckled to myself when I thought of the hundreds, no probably thousands at this point, of other people who also took their final steps along this same path. When I reached the middle, not a short distance, mind, I stopped and looked out over the ocean, the rain still beating down on me heavily. Traffic on the bridge was very light, which I took as a good thing, the fewer people who witnessed it, the better. I chuckled again as I tried to estimate how many days it would take them to figure out who I was after my body washes ashore. I took one last deep breath, whispered goodbye, and in one fluid motion, pulled myself up to the handrail of the walkway, and jumped off. The feeling of falling through the empty air was really quite invigorating, a bit of an adrenaline rush, if you know what I mean. Now all I had to do was wait to hit the water.
*THUD*
"What the hell," I thought to myself as I laid in a prone position on my stomach. I knew that hitting the waves from that height would hurt, and I did hurt, but that definately wasn't the noise I was expecting. And, can I feel soil underneath my hands? That can't be. I must be dead, because I'm hallucinating. I pushed off the ground that shouldn't be there, and stood up, like I shouldn't have been able to do. I opened my eyes and saw a field, full of grass, and beyond that, a town, but one I most definately had never seen before. Then I did something I never supposed I would do again, I spoke aloud.
"Where am I?"
I repeated the phrase over and over again as I stumbled toward the town, eventually reaching it. When I did, I shook my head violently, double checking to make sure I still wasn't just having visions from a post-dive concussion. Everywhere I looked, there were seemed to be little horses, almost all of them had very brightly-colored coats, with equally-bright manes and tails. Some seemed like just normal horses, but there were unicorns, and pegasi too, creatures that, up to this point, I had considered completely imaginary. They all seemed to be bustling about, doing various tasks, and, now my ears were playing tricks with me, conversing with one another? In plain spoken English?
Seeing no other plan of attack, I simply continued to trudge further into the little town. If these had been people, they would have certainly thought that I was drunk, the way I was stumbling about, barely able to walk in a straight line. I was honestly surprised that it took the little horses so long to notice me, but eventually one of them did.
"Look, a monster," came the terrified shriek of a yellow horse with an orange mane and tail and a picture of a carrot on her flank, "Everypony run!"
And run, they did. All of them dashed off in different directions, but all avoiding me at all costs. I put my hands up above my head, an attempt to show that I meant them no harm, but that just made me taller, and thus, scared them more.
"Somepony go get Twilight," a horse with three blue horseshoes on his flank yelled, "She'll know what to do."
"Please," I finally said, trying my best to be heard, "I'm not going to hurt you. You don't have to be afraid." None of them paid my words any heed, if they had heard them at all.
Eventually, I saw not one, but two horses begin to actually fly toward me. One was a cyan pegasus with a very striking rainbow mane, the other was purple with a two-tone mane that had features of both a unicorn and a pegasus, I didn't know if there was a name for that sort of creature. They touched down a good fifteen feet in front of me, glaring at me.
"OK," the rainbow-maned one yelled, "you're going down, whatever you are." She began to rev-up her wings, but the other one threw up a hoof.
"Wait a moment, Rainbow," she said, I say 'she' since the voice was obviously feminine, unlike the other one, "this monster doesn't look all that threatening."
Usually, I would take that as an insult, but if saying that my tall, gangling frame wasn't intimidating saved me from getting attacked by a flying horse, than I was willing to go along with it.
"I'm not going to hurt any of you," I said to them, dropping to my knees, my hands still up, "I promise I won't. I don't even know where I am." I bowed my head, tears beginning to well-up in my eyes as I silently hoped that they wouldn't harm me first.
"C'mon Twi," I heard the voice of the pegasus again, "I don't trust this thing. Let's just get rid of it already."
"No," the other one retorted, "whatever it is, it isn't going to hurt us. And since it can communicate, I'm very interested in seeing what I can learn about this, uh, being."
"Oh all right. You never let me have any fun." I heard a very fast whooshing noise. When I looked up, the pegasus was gone, leaving only the purple horse standing in front of me. She cleared her throat before speaking.
"Hello, my name is Princess Twilight Sparkle. Can you possibly tell me who you are, what you are, and where you come from?" She smiled at me and waited patiently for me to answer as I slowly made my way back up to my feet.
"I'm a human. I come from another world."
