Snowdrop and Nyx Get Drunk and Make Out

by PresentPerfect

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 2370

What happens when the reincarnation of Nightmare Moon travels back in time to meet a blind pegasus? The answer is: social justice.

Nyx, feeling lonely and unloved, casts a spell that hurtles her back in time to the Early Equestrian Period. Who will she meet there? What will she do? Will she ever find her place in life?

You can probably figure out the answer from the title.

So, I saw like four pictures of these two on derpibooru the other day and they immediately became my OTP for stupid, stupid reasons. But there's no way I can write a story about the two worst OCs the fandom has made without it being really stupid, so expect lots of character assassination and fourth wall breaking and memes and other stuff like that.

Nyx was created by Pen Stroke, who would probably have an aneurysm if he saw this because I'm breaking his rules for using his character. (Spoilers: he didn't.)

Snowdrop belongs to Silly Filly Studios I guess? I dunno, I wasn't paying that much attention.

Cover image by RagingPeppers, edited by me.

Published 2014-01-05 04:30:11 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-05 04:30:11 UTC

Horsebians!

Snowdrop and Nyx Get Drunk and Make Out
by Present Perfect

"Boo hoo hoo," cried Nyx, who was an adult filly and therefore could suffer existential woe, "I'm ugly and also Nightmare Moon and nopony loves me! Boo hoo!" And it was true, because nopony loved her except her mother and the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Celestia and Luna and probably Twist. Definitely Twist.

"Doubleyou tee eff, Nyx," asked Twilight, who was like, right there the whole time, and also not a princess because this was an alternate timeline or maybe she was a triple changing Transformer. "You know I'm standing behind you, right? Are you deaf as well as a terrible character?" She had no idea how much foreshadowing she'd just done.

"Mommy," Nyx said, because Twilight Sparkle was her mother and she'd never really grown out of calling her "Mommy" because she's a huge goddamn crybaby with issues, "why won't anypony love me? I never did anything to them if you ignore when I tried to enslave them and make night last forever. I hate myself!"

Twilight nodded sagely. "You're just in that period of your life right now. I understand. When I was a teenager getting picked on constantly for being an egghead and Princess Celestia's personal student and a purple unicorn, I would always dream about going to the Star Swirl the Bearded Wing of the Canterlot Royal Archives and learning time-travel spells so I could go back to a time when nopony knew who I was and continue my studies without having to deal with their bullshit."

She laughed. "But I don't have to do that anymore because I have five friends and an adoptive daughter who love me unconditionally and are really stupidly powerful and can beat up anypony who makes fun of me if I want them to." She laughed some more and trotted into the kitchen.

Nyx blinked. "Oh."

One Trip to the Star Swirl the Bearded Wing of the Canterlot Royal Archives Later...

Nyx cast the spell with her horn.

One Casting of Hoof-Tapper the Mighty's Time Tunnel Travels Later...

"Wow," said Nyx, her mouth making an O, "I'm really in the past!"

It kind of looked exactly the same as the future, except she was also in Cloudsdale somehow.

"Princess Luna!" somepony shouted next to her. She turned and saw a pegasus noble bowing to her.

"Ha ha," she laughed nervously, "I'm not Princess Luna. My name is Nyx."

"But," the noble butted, "you've got wings and a horn, and your coat is so dark!"

Nyx rolled her eyes, because that was kind of a racist thing to say. "No, Princess Luna is like, my mother or my sister or something. I dunno, I wasn't paying much attention."

"Well, let me just be the first to say, thank you for visiting our fair city, Your Highness. I hope your stay is pleasant. If you'll excuse me." She bowed once more and flew off to go cheat on her husband, because that's what noble pegasi did back then.

"Uh, I'm really not a Princess either!" Nyx called after her, but it was too late. Living in the past was going to be weird, she thought, but at least that pony hadn't screamed and run away from her, so it was an improvement over the future. She clapped her hooves together. There was so much to look forward to! It was going to be weird butt fun!

Then somepony weirdly bumped into her ass.

"Oh," said a soft voice. "Excuse me."

For reasons related entirely to plot convenience, Nyx lost her temper and used her Nightmare Moon voice.

"YOU CLUMSY OAF!" she shouted in bold, italics and underline, "HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY PLOT WITH YOUR FACE!"

"I'm sorry for bumping into you," the voice said. It was attached to a pony who was the color of clouds and had milky white eyes and a snowflake cutie mark and curly white mane. "I define myself by my disability."

"You what?" Nyx was so flabbergasted that she got back in character.

"Yes, you see... I can't."

"Can't what?"

"See."

Nyx shook her head. "I don't."

"You don't what?"

"Even." Nyx sighed. "Um, maybe we got off on the wrong hoof. My name's Nyx, what's yours?"

"Snowdrop."

"That's a very nice name."

"Thank you! I think yours is nice too! It's very unusual."

Nyx blushed like maybe she was about to be shipped with a pony. "Um, well, I came here looking for friends, so how about we be friends, Snowdrop? If you don't think I'm scary, that is."

"Why would I think you're scary?" Snowdrop said with a giggle.

"Most ponies do. And well, I did kind of shout at you. I'm really sorry about that, by the way, you didn't deserve it."

"Oh, that's okay. I mean, your typeface is impressive, but I've learned that you should never let haters get you down."

Nyx's eyes widened. "That sounds like something I've been waiting my whole life to hear." She grabbed Snowdrop's hooves. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I think we were fated by destiny to meet."

"You do?"

"Yes! I came here by magic and it sent me right to you almost. Well, I met a noblepony first, but then I met you! And now we're friends! Do you know what this calls for?"

Snowdrop shook her head. "Um, a party?"

"No." Nyx got a manic look on her face. She gazed deeply into Snowdrop's white, sightless eyes that were currently staring at a cloud in the background.

"Let's celebrate our friendship by getting hammered."

One Several Rounds of Drinks at a Bar Later...

"...An' tha's how I became Queen of Equestria."

Nyx, a consummate lush, was sprawled out on the bar of Cloudsdale's premiere watering hole, waving her hooves at the array of shot glasses surrounding her.

"Good one!" Snowdrop said, hiccupping. "Yannow, Nysh, I wasn't too sure 'bout you at first, but I c'n see now that yer a good... good... poooonyyyyyy..."

Nyx snorted and belched loudly. "H-how c'n you see dat?"

Snowdrop responded by placing a hoof squarely in Nyx's ear. Then she began feeling down her cheek, tapping over her shoulder to her chest and turning Nyx on something fierce. Snowdrop was sitting on Nyx's right, but figured she was close enough to Nyx's heart to count. She poked Nyx in the chest twice and said, in a low whisper filled with gravity,

"I c'n see inta heeeeeere."

"Ohhh." Nyx's eyes got wide. "Wow." She sniffed, smiling at the other mare. "That... that is real special. You're somethin' special, Snowdy."

"Bein' special is my special talent," Snowdrop said. "But you're speshul too, Nyxy." Snowdrop hiccupped again.

Nyx snickered. "You drank yerself crosseyed!"

"I did?" Snowdrop's voice was full of wonder. "How c'n you tell?"

They both started cracking up, leaning against one another for support. The bartender gave them a wary look.

"No, but srsly," Nyx said, wiping at her face, "wossit like? Not seein', I mean."

Snowdrop waved her hoof at where she thought Nyx's nose was, but contacted only air. "S'okay. I been like this since I was borned. I hear real, real, real good."

"Do you really?" Nyx stage whispered.

"I heard that!" Snowdrop shouted, and they both started laughing again, pounding each other on the back.

When they settled down, Snowdrop got very quiet and said, "Iss not so great, bein' special."

"I know," Nyx said, nodding a little too enthusiastically.

"Ponies think you're weird 'cause of how you look."

"I know!"

Snowdrop looked away from Nyx, regarding the door with consternation. "Do you? D'you really?"

Nyx reached out and grabbed Snowdrop's head, turning it back toward her. "Hey, you're talkin' to th' pony who tried to conquer Equestria. They ain't forgetted that too easy. Errypony runs when they see me."

Snowdrop gave her a half-smile, because she was gassy. "Well I think you're juuuuuus' fine."

Nyx blushed, but she was too dark-furred for it to be obvious (wait, is that racist?), and also the other pony in her company couldn't see. Her gaze dropped to the floor and then Nyx looked at Snowdrop's butt and noticed it was a very nice butt. "You has a great cutie mark," she commented.

"Ponies tell me issa snowflake." Snowdrop sniffed. "I invenned 'em, y'know."

"What, you did? Noway!"

"Uh-huh. An', an' after that, I, uh, I started inventin' lotsa things." She leaned on to the bar, spreading her hooves wide. "I inventerated the internet!"

"The wha?"

Snowdrop got a very serious expression on her face, the kind drunk ponies get when studying whatever is in front of them, which she was pretty much doing but without the being able to see part.

"I neededed a way to spread th' message... Of lovin' an' toleratin' th' other ponies what's kinna different. So I made the internet so's I could post social justice blogs on Tumblr."

Nyx laid her head on the bar, smiling. "Tha' sounds wunnerful." Then she blinked. "Hey wait, they don't have no 'innernet' where I'm from."

"Huh?" Snowdrop blinked. "Wherezat?"

"The future."

"Oh." Snowdrop frowned. "I guess it never catches on, then."

"B-but, you tol' lotsa ponies that bein' blind's... s'okay. Right? Because I think you're good. A good pony who's blind."

It was Snowdrop's turn to blush. Nyx was afraid she had caught fire somehow, that's how much blushing was going on right then.

"Uh, well, actually, I mossly just post about, uh..." Her voice dropped to a squeak. "Filly-fooling."

Nyx got confused. "Why?"

Snowdrop bit her lip. "Because it's illge... billy... taboo. But ponies shouldn't... shouldn't be hated for who they love, right?"

Nyx's wings stood up. "Inna future," she whispered, putting her hoof on Snowdrop's, "everypony is accepted and respected for who they are."

Snowdrop smiled at the wall. "That sounds wonfle... funder... great."

They leaned in close to each other but then somepony cleared his throat and they separated real quick-like.

"I'm gonna have to ask you ladies to pay up and leave," the bartender said politely.

"FUCK YOU, CISHET SCUM!" Snowdrop said, so politely that Nyx had to use her magic to hold her back from crashing into the mirror on the far wall because she had jumped off her bar stool the wrong way. "FUCK YOUR SEXUAL NORMATIVE BULLSHIT AND YOUR GENDER BINARY!"

They paid (Nyx had loads of future money and it was worth like, twenty each in past money because that's how economics works) and left, which involved both of them stumbling over each other and colliding with the wall of the bar around the corner, and then laughing whole bunches.

Nyx noticed how warm Snowdrop was up close. She was in fact nothing like her name or her coloration or her snowflake cutie mark, and in fact just a normal pony, which shouldn't have been surprising, but she was drunk. Nyx put a foreleg around her and pulled her in close. Snowdrop gazed up at her left ear, trembling slightly.

"Snowdrop," Nyx said, totally serious, "I think I like you a lot."

"You do?"

"Yeah. Like, like-like. In the future, it's okay for two fillies to kiss each other, so I think we should do that now."

"O-okay," Snowdrop said, and her cheeks were red.

Their muzzles met and a chorus of angels sang the praises of Celestia as they kissed with a fiery passion and intense love because they were truly destined to be lovers. Their horse nostrils flared and their tongues danced a tango and it was really hot. They wrapped their hooves around each other and caressed their manes and wings and stuff. There were gasps of shock from passersby who were really old-fashioned because they lived in the past and didn't approve of filly-fooling, and Snowdrop tried to flip them the bird but couldn't because she only has one finger. They kissed like two fillies had never kissed before. It was awesome.

And then they parted the kiss and there were like, fifty strands of saliva, and that's just really gross, I mean clean up your fucking drool you goddamn horsebians, Jesus.

With all the destiny that was happening, it should be no surprise that there was a crack of thunder and a flash of light before they disappeared, because Nyx had cast the wrong fucking spell and got sucked back into the future, the stupid bitch.

One Reversed Time Spell Later... Which Is Pretty Much Just "And Then"...

"Nyx, what the fuck?" Twilight asked, because she and Snowdrop appeared right out of fucking nowhere and I'm getting really tired so don't bother wondering where they were okay? "I was just about to beat Spike's adorable scaly ass because he wouldn't tell me where you went!"

"I said I didn't know!" Spike whined, and everypony ignored him.

"Mom," Nyx said, suddenly growing a pair of whatever it is girls grow, "I have something important to tell you. This is Snowdrop. We're in love and we're gonna run away and get gay married!"

"We are?" Snowdrop said.

"That's nice, sweetie," Twilight said. "Just don't go to Foalabama, they're the last holdouts of anti-filly-fooling since the Early Equestrian Period."

"So you've got two moms?" Snowdrop asked. "That's very progressive of you."

"Kinda yeah no," Nyx said.

"Well, hello," Snowdrop said to the door. "My name is Snowdrop and it's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Nyx's Mom."

"That's weird," Twilight said, ignoring Snowdrop's inability due to her own. "I thought Snowdrop was the name of an important pony from the Early Equestrian Period who vanished under mysterious circumstances. Where did you disappear off to again, Nyx?"

"Uh, the Star Swirl the Bearded Wing?"

"Oh." Twilight facehoofed. "You went back in time and destroyed the internet again, didn't you?"

"Uh-huh!" Nyx shouted. Then her and Snowdrop's tongues twirled around each other and they were in absolute lesbians.

And that's how the greatest monster Equestria ever knew was born. The end.

Author's Note

I have no excuse and no shame. None.

I'd like to thank alexmagnet, midnight shadow and Pascoite, in no particular order, for providing feedback and suggestions, and also NinesTempest for the SJW diatribe.