Daring Do and the Trashy Romance Novel

by Bootsy Slickmane

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Comedy
Length: 802

A.K. Yearling, author of the famous Daring Do series, has a bit of a problem: both her publishers and her fans want to see Daring Do engage in some spicy romance.

If you haven't seen the Season 4 episode "Daring Don't," then turn back now, because this contains major spoilers.

A.K. Yearling, author of the famous Daring Do series, has a bit of a problem: both her publishers and her fans want to see Daring Do engage in some spicy romance. Unfortunately, Yearling's procedure for putting her stories together complicates things just a bit.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-08 10:16:20 UTC

An Absurd Assertion

A.K. Yearling slammed her empty mug against the counter and tapped her hoof next to it. Rainbow ordered her another drink, plus one for herself. Berry Punch sprayed cider into two fresh mugs and slid them over to the two pegasi. Yearling downed half her new drink in one swig, while Rainbow took a little more time with her own.

"This is the most ridiculous situation I've ever been in," Yearling said, putting her mug down, "and believe me, I've been part of some downright Weird stuff over the years."

"I know," Rainbow commented with a smirk, "I've read all about it, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah." A.K. Yearling looked down into her drink, swirling it around a little. "Hey, you're a fan, right? What do you think of the whole idea?"

Rainbow took a bigger gulp of her cider before replying. "Well, I've honestly never cared much for it. I mean, it's okay, but I read for the adventure, you know? I like to read about Daring Do kicking punching ponies in the mouth, not kissing them."

Yearling couldn't resist the crooked smile worming its way onto her face.

"Then again," Rainbow continued, "I do know some ponies that like that kinda mushy stuff. In fact, one of my friends said she liked the idea of Daring having a coltfriend. She said the romance would help punctuate the action, or something."

Yearling's smile faded. "Yeah, I understand that's a pretty popular concept among my fans. What about the, uh, hotter stuff? How does your friend feel about that?"

Rainbow bit her lip, her eyes glancing around the bar. The only other pony present was Berry, and Rainbow was pretty sure she could be trusted not to blab. Barkeep's honor, or something like that. "Well," Rainbow started slowly, "I'm pretty sure she reads that kinda stuff too, but the idea of Daring doing it never really-" Rainbow had to stop mid-sentence to stifle a laugh.

A.K. Yearling rolled her eyes. "Pony feathers," she muttered. "Forget it, I'm not gonna do it. My publishers can complain all they want. I won't sell out just because romance stories are popular."

"Is it really selling out if its what your fans really want?"

Yearling sat in silence for a bit, pondering Rainbow's question as she took another drink of her cider. "Hmmm.... I guess maybe not. Closer to pandering, I suppose. But I've never written anything like that before."

"You haven't?" Rainbow asked.

Yearling shook her head. "You know what my publisher said when I told him that? He said that maybe I should take a little vacation, meet a nice stallion, and get some inspiration."

Rainbow burst out laughing, and had to grab onto the bar to keep from falling off her stool. "You-your boss told you to get laid!" Rainbow slowly stopped laughing under Yearling's level glare. "Heh, heh.... Ahem, well, have you ever thought about actually doing it?"

"You're kidding, right? I've got more important things to do than getting a date. Did I ever have time to dance with some idiot when I was going after the Sapphire Stone? No. Did I have time to get a coltfriend on my journey through the Temple of the Sun God? No, I didn't."

"You don't have to do it when you're actually adventuring," Rainbow said as she waved to the barkeep, "you just have a fling and then find a way to slip it into your next book. You are a real writer, right? You can come up with original stuff, right?"

Yearling scoffed. "Of course I can make stuff up. Half the stuff in my last book was made up. A lot of my work is mind-numbingly boring, so I usually add in some ninjas and wildcats to keep the books interesting." She held up a hoof as Rainbow opened her mouth. "But I can't very well write about a fantastic romance story when I've never actually had one. I wouldn't even really know where to start."

"Wait a sec," Rainbow said, stifling another giggle, "are you saying you've never done it?"

Yearling rolled her eyes. "Of course I've done it, stupid. I mean I've never lived through one of those inane fantasy romances that everypony fawns over. Those kinds of stories never happen."

Rainbow swirled the cider in her mug for a moment. "You know, a lot of ponies think that the stuff Daring Do does could never happen."

A.K. Yearling turned away from the bar, looking Rainbow right in the eye. A smile slowly spread over her face. "Point taken, though it's not a very sharp one." She downed the last of the cider in her current mug. "Okay, let's assume I decide to go for it.

The first thing I'd have to do is find somepony, right?"