Tonight

by Vivid Syntax

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life, Cheerilee
Length: 1619

"It’s that voice, that sparkling voice that sets my back shuddering and my muscles flexing..." They're always trying to get in Big Macintosh's head, all except one pony, a pony that means the world to him. Tonight, perhaps h

"It’s that voice, that sparkling voice that sets my back shuddering and my muscles flexing..." They're always trying to get in Big Macintosh's head, all except one pony, a pony that means the world to him. Tonight, perhaps he can finally tell her.

Take a look inside Big Mac's thoughts in this inner monologue one-off. There's a lot more than he's willing to admit.

Published 2014-04-05 02:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-05 02:40:03 UTC

Tonight

That went good. That went real good. I was flat towards the end, probably because it’s getting so late, but that went real good. Yeah, I was great.

“Excellent work tonight. They absolutely adored us, especially during your solo.” She’s smiling at me. How’s her mane always so pretty? Rarity always does a great job, and she’s never flat, and she puts so much care into the uniforms. I think she makes them just for her, then adjusts it for everypony else. That must be it. She’s standing in just that way, those hooves planted firmly, back straight, head turned slightly. Does she do that to all the stallions? “You seemed to be straining yourself a bit towards the end. Are you sure your voice is alright?”

“Eeyup!” Nope. Gonna need to rest it more than usual. Nice of her to ask, though.

She’s so affable, that one, and it’s not like we haven’t been able to talk a few times before. Maybe tomorrow we can talk about that song I’m writing. Maybe tomorrow, when my voice is better.

“Well, I’m pleased to hear it.” What a nice smile, real sincere-like. Cheerilee smiles the same way. I think I saw her in the back tonight. That mane of hers… It sets on her face like a soft flower petal on a still lake. Naw, like a whole bouquet of daisies around a pretty rose. I should go find her and tell her. Right now. Tonight.

“Will you be able to make rehearsal tomorrow?”

“Eeyup.” See you tomorrow, Rarity. I really do appreciate you giving me a chance here, especially since I can be hard to get going.

Least the others enjoy the limelight; lets me sneak out back. Don’t mind if I do.

Nice, fresh air tonight, just like in our song. It’s always easier to sing about the truth, I guess. It feels disingenuous to be all peppy while the sky’s crying, like trying to comfort a filly who's got no friends. Ain’t anything you can do about it, I suppose, but you get that fire in your chest, that light that refuses to go out and won’t let you leave things be. I’m real lucky to have such fine folks in my life.

“Hello, Big McIntosh.” It’s that voice, that sparkling voice that sets my back shuddering and my muscles flexing. That soft but primal energy that brings me back to the sweet innocence of being a colt but fills me with the strength of all the stallions in my lineage, pushing me to do better, to be the apex of all I could want to be. And she’s captured in a few simple words. It’s that voice. It’s her voice. It's Cheerilee. “That was an excellent performance.” Please don’t stop talking.

Cheerilee’s standing there, waiting for me. She always waits, not like the others. She waits. She doesn’t try to get past some imaginary wall. Or impress me with a bunch of lurid conversation. Or manipulate me into being the gentlepony she dreams about. She just waits.

Your compliments mean so much more to me than all the applause in Ponyville. Do you notice that my breathing is heavy, that I don’t stop smiling when you’re around, that I can’t take my eyes off you? “Thank you.” Sorry I’m not a poet. Wish I could tell you what was really on my mind. Just once, just a few words so that maybe you'd know. Just once.

She’s pausing. She wants more. Say something. Say something!

She’s still smiling, looking at the stars now, oblivious to the way her beauty outshines all of theirs. She always waits. She’s going to use that wondrous song of her again. “It’s already dark out. If you wouldn’t mind…” Those eyes are back on me. My my, do they twinkle. “…would you please walk me home?”

Anything for you. Everything for you. “Eeyup!” And we’re off.

Nice night for a walk. Nice night and nice company, and you always need to be your best around company. Face forward. Head held high, stand up straighter. Shucks, did I just rip my jacket? Naw, it doesn’t bother me. I’m a stallion. Daddy’d be proud.

She’s giggling. “Big Mac, you’re doing it again.” Don’t look. Head forward. Don’t look.

My, her face is pretty in the moonlight. Wait, wasn’t I just standing up straighter? She doesn’t seem to mind, though. “Eeyup...” She’s giggling again.

She's quiet, and I can hear her breathing. I could listen to this forever.

How long's it been since we started walking home? The lights of the stage and the din of the crowd are far, far behind us, but I can't for the life of me figure out how we've gotten this far so quickly. Charms of nice company, I suppose.

Does she see something? What’s she looking at? Can’t see very far into the woods from here.

Ooh, did she hear that? “Owls’re out.” Probably didn’t need to stop and point.

“Oh, that’s lovely! The class is learning about nocturnal creatures next week.” She’s standing so close. Can’t be by accident. She smells sweet, and her coat is so fine. Must be like petting a bunny. I wanna pet the bunny. Please come closer. I won’t stop you this time, I promise. “I imagine you know quite a lot about them, especially the fruit bats.” Her voice is getting quieter. She’s still looking into the forest.

Should I remember this? Does she really like nocturnal... My neck’s warm. My neck’s warm. My neck’s warm, and there’s something soft on it, and it’s just like a bunny. Does the ground feel wobbly? I can hear the blood pumping faster in my ears. Can she hear it, too? My legs itch. They want to buck. So does my stomach. Hooves tapping. Tail whipping. Afraid to look. Gotta go. Gotta go now.

But if I just tilt my head like… oooooh, yeah… Like laying it down in a field of heather. My legs are planted here, and my tail’s relaxed, and she’s so soft. Mmmm….

Did the whole world stop? I hope so. Can’t seem to move it even if I wanted to. I don’t want to. Everything can keep still. Everything’s perfect. You were right, Momma.

The ground feels soft here. The apples are releasing their perfume, carried on the breeze. It’s rolling over the orchard to us, just for us, gently. Softly. No reason to hurry, and the feeling is perfect.

You’re shivering! That soft warmth is pulling away. “Ooh… Sorry…” You don’t need to apologize. It was perfect, even if it was brief. “I just…” You can look me in the eye. I wish you would. “It’s a bit chilly tonight.”

Well, that's no problem. Let me get that for you. Just gotta slip out of it. It looks nice, but I wish Rarity didn’t make it so tight. “Uh… Here.” That should help. Looks good on her, but a little big. I think she just shivered again, but it was different. A different kind of shiver.

“Thank you.” It’s too dark to see her eyes now. It’s okay. I know what they look like. “I should probably get home.” Eeyup… I know…

Your gait has gotten springier.

Can I walk you home every night?

There’s her house. It matches her personality. Not too far from the farm, either. I could live there. I’d like to live there. Just us and the colts. Three? Four? Maybe a filly?

How’d we get here so fast? Let me get the door for you. You alright? You’ve been cold all night. Why aren’t you going inside?

Oh, it’s happening.

“Big Mac…” Tonight. “Thank you again.” Tonight. “For the walk, the jacket, everything.” Right now, tonight. “I know we both have a lot of responsibilities and need our rest, but…” Right now, tonight. “...do you have time to come in for a bit?”

Eeyup. “Eh…” Eeyup. “Eh…” EEYUP! “Uh… n… nope.”

She’s got a lovely doormat.

I’ve hurt her. She’s so precious, and I’ve hurt her. She isn’t saying anything. Why won’t she send away all the bad feelings with that voice of hers? I hate this lovely doormat. We’re getting rid of it as soon as I move in.

Head’s not so high now. Sorry, Pa.

Did the world stop again? It’s much worse this time. She’s probably looking at me with sadness in those eyes, sadness that I put there. I’m sorry, Cheerilee.

She’s smiling? Her eyes look a bit dull, but maybe that’s just the nighttime. That jacket looks big on her. “I understand.” You always do. You’re special, the most special pony I’ve ever met. “Your jacket appears to have a small hole in it.” I don’t have good luck with clothes. “I’m sure I can stitch it up for you.”

You’re so kind. “You… you don’t…”

“I insist.” Truly special. “I’ll take care of it after school, and you can come back and pick it up tomorrow night.” Tomorrow night? “Would that be alright?”

She’s glowing. She’s brilliant. My back feels straighter again. My face is getting stretched up and sideways. “Yes.”

“Perfect.” Yes, you are. “Then I’ll... see you tomorrow night.” Tomorrow night. “Good night, Big Mac.”

Good night, Miss Cheerilee, and thank you kindly. “Good night, Miss Cheerilee, and thank you kindly.” Let me get the door for you. It clicks, and my chest tightens.

It feels warmer out here now. I feel lighter, and everything tingles, and I’m very awake. Am I cantering? No, I’m galloping, fast as I can. My face hurts in a good way. Why can’t I stop laughing?

I’ll see you tomorrow night, Cheerilee. Tomorrow night.

Tomorrow night.