An Enthusiastic Admirer

Chapters

Chapter 2: Evasive Maneuvers!
Chapter 3: Regroup!
Chapter 4: Behind Enemy Lines!
Chapter 5: Lock and Load!
Chapter 6: Flashback!
Chapter 7: Tactical Retreat!
Bonus #1: Side-Tracked!
Bonus #2: Shell-Shocked!
Chapter 1: Target Sighted!

Chapter 2: Evasive Maneuvers!

The crowd parted somewhat, clearing a path between Blueblood and the stage, but it wasn't taken. He stood perfectly still, his face suggesting he hoped Trixie's sight was based on movement and he would vanish from her perception if he just stayed where he was long enough.

This, obviously, was not the case as she waved the bouquet in a come-hither fashion at him. "There's no need to hesitate, my Beloved Prince, the Great and Powerful Trixie has at long last come to claim her husb-"

Without a word, he teleported away in a magical flash.

Some laughed, some gasped, some looked like they felt sorry for the lonely not-quite bride, but she only grinned. "Ohhohoo~! You want proof of Trixie's magnificence first, My Love?" The veil and wedding dress reformed into her purple, starry hat and cape as she took a dramatic pose, one hoof pointed where Blueblood had been standing. She closed her eyes, the extended hoof slowly moving in a straight line. "Be amazed as Trixie follows the flow of magical energy from the starting point of the spell to its end!"

She slowly moved her hoof like a dowsing rod before stopping at a nearby barrel. The barrel lit up with magenta light as it lifted into the air, revealing Blueblood where it had sat. The crowd cheered, but he immediately vanished with another flash. Trixie replicated her hoof-movements as Prince's friends shared a look with raised eyebrows, mostly tuning out the impromptu two-pony show.

"Hey, Doctor?"

"Trixie's magical perception is second to none!"

"Yes, Shining?"

"Aha!"

"Does he seem kinda...?"

*Flash!*

"Scared of her?"

"I'll always find you, My Dearest!"

"Yea, that."

"There you are!"

Doctor shrugged. "Maybe a little?"

*Flash!*

"Shouldn't we, uh...?"

"Behold!"

"Help him?"

*Flash!*

"Yea, that."

Trixie giggled merrily before draping a hoof over her head dramatically. "Oh, woe, Trixie fears she's truly lost him this time!" Her grin of delight made the statement considerably less convincing. "Unless of course, he's-" She leapt from the stage, retracting the bulk of it back into her wagon, (how all of that worked, few but the more skilled earth pony engineers of the land were sure) revealing Prince, who had been hiding under it, ducked low, head under his forehooves. "Here!" He was immediately hug-tackled by the giggling showpony, much to the crowd's amusement, bar a few.

"Oh, come on," Rose huffed, "we saw him first!"

Daisy smirked. "Then why haven't you asked him out already?"

Rose turned rosy, averting her eyes. "Because shut up, Daisy!"

She giggled in reply, looking to Lily, who still stood staring at the guard she'd met at one of Pinkie's parties. "You might try asking him out too, you know."

Lily immediately flushed crimson, finally tearing her gaze away. "A-a--a-ask, h-him, I-I...!" And then she sped away, leaving only a cloud of dust behind.

"Shoot," Daisy muttered, giving chase, "Lily, come back!"

Rose followed her friends. "Wait, where are you guys going?!"

Shining Armor, Doctor immediately behind him, approached Trixie, wrapped around the trembling, whimpering noblepony. "Excuse me, Miss?"

She casually waved a hoof at him in a 'shoo-shoo' motion. "Show's over, scram."

With that, the ponies that had gathered to watch began to disperse, leaving the lovebirds what little privacy cuddling out in the open would afford them. Prince's friends might have felt bad about physically separating Trixie from him, with a crowbar ("Where'd you get that thing, Doctor? It was just lying around? Well, alright then."), eyes dreamily shut as she tenderly nuzzled his face if not for the latter's terrified, helpless expression.

Newly free, Blueblood shot them a grateful look, but didn't hang around to explain what the hay was going on, fleeing in the direction of the library. Trixie, in the mean time, was still cuddling empty air for several seconds, eyes still closed and a look of contentment on her face. Then, groping with her hooves not unlike a filly blindly reaching for her teddy bear, her eyes popped open, glancing in each direction as she fired up the teleportation counterspell... to no effect. She leapt to her hooves, Shining and Doctor jumping back with a start when she stopped with her muzzle an inch away from Shining's, her voice a threatening growl. "Where did you take Trixie's coltfriend?"

Shining Armor steeled himself, if he could endure Captain Blitz Shield at his angriest, this street performer should be no problem. "W-we actually wanted to ask you about that, Ma'am, what exactly is your affiliation with Prince Bl-"

She stepped forward again, horn bouncing off Shining's hastily-thrown-up shield. If that hurt her at all, she didn't show it. "Trixie will ask a second time," she said, looking somehow angrier than before "Where is Trixie's. Colt. Friend. Question. Mark."

Stay calm, he thought to himself, you've dealt with emotional ponies before. Just clarify the situation and act accordingly. That should be easy, provided she didn't make any little foals cry in the next few minutes. "He didn't seem to return your affections, Ma'am, are you sure you're not mistaken?"

She blinked once, a light chuckle diminishing a considerable amount of menace. "Ohh, he's just a little shy is all, always was around Trixie." She smirked, brushing a hoof against her chest. "It's understandable, even Prince Blueblood can grow nervous when confronted with-" extravagant hoof-gestures were unnecessary, but he figured it was the showpony in her talking, "the Great, and Powerful Trrrrrixie!"

What would have been a few seconds of awkward silence were instead Doctor whispering in Shining's ear. "Plan: I think we should fall back and regroup with Prince, maybe he knows what's happening here?"

While Trixie held a majestic pose, Shining whispered back. "Ok, but how do we get away from her first? He might just run again if she follows us to-"

The exchange was cut off by Soarin landing behind Trixie, who turned to look at the seductively smiling pegasus in full-on hunter mode. "Hello, Great and Picturesque Trixie!"

She chuckled, smiling with just a hint of smugness. "Trixie does not have time to be lauded for her beauty right now, but-"

"But," he interrupted with a charming grin, "a stunning lady of your dazzling good looks could be persuaded to be lavished with all-due praise?"

Trixie actually blushed just slightly, hiding her mouth behind a hoof as she let out a laugh of equal parts amusement and arrogance. "Perhaps," she said coyly, "make it quick."

Soarin gave Shining and Doctor a split-second look, which they interpreted to mean 'I'll keep her busy, you know what to do!' They nodded, carefully moving around him and the vain magician to head to the library. Luckily, Trixie was proving to be very easy to work with, what wasn't obscured by her hat or cape really quite pretty.

He stood in silence for a moment, looking her over as she raised an eyebrow. "A-hem?"

Bait taken! "Sorry," he replied with a grin, "I'm just not sure where to begin! Your lush, silvery mane, statuesque face, outstanding fashion sense...?" He sighed as Shining and Doctor slipped away, his eyes the picture of a love-struck colt's. "I could look at you forever."

Trixie grinned brightly, and with just as much smugness. "Please, take your pick~"

"Blue," Shining called out as they stepped into Golden Oaks, "You in here?" There were very few places to hide in the library, but he was doing a surprisingly good job. "Blue?"

Doctor, shutting the door behind them, slowly looked around the room. "He might be behind a sliding shelf or a secret compartment or something."

Shining rolled his eyes. "That's ridiculous, we don't have a-"

"We do now," Prince's muffled voice sounded from behind a bookshelf, "is she with you?"

Doctor's smug smile was ignored for the time being as Shining approached the talking shelf. "How did you build a secret compartment so fast?!"

"That's not important right now, is Trixie still around or not?!"

"Which is why I keep bowling balls all over town!" Pinkie's eye twitched.

Mrs. Cake involuntarily took a step backward, forcing a smile. Ohh, goodness it's finally starting, isn't it?! "I-Is that so?"

"Yeah..." She touched a hoof to her eye after closing it. That was the second time that happened today, was this a new Pinkie Sense?

"And that's all seventeen reasons you shouldn't obscure your outstanding charms under a hat and cape!"

She chuckled, an eyebrow raised and a smirk that said she had figured out the punchline to a joke before it was told. "Really? Being able to ogle Trixie's perfect flanks didn't come up even once."

Soarin beamed. "Guilty! It shows in your magic, but you're as brilliant as you are beautiful!" This mare, it was clear, could hear about herself all day by the way she grinned and struck poses as if to say 'you may now appreciate my existence!'

He'd been thinking about something since watching Trixie glomp Prince after finishing up faster than expected with his client, (he was just considering forming the cloud he was watching from into a cozy chair when the wedding dress thing happened) leaving Cloud Chaser to "keep an eye on the office/house." With Flitter. Alone. Together. He'd also been thinking about something actually related to watching Trixie glomp Prince; why she had been doing that, and why he seemed so uncomfortable.

"If I may pick your great and powerful mind, Trixie, why would an alicorn-in-waiting like yourself settle for-"

Trixie's grin vanished, her tone curt. "Prince Blueblood?"

He blinked. "Well, him too."

She took a step closer. "Are you saying there's something wrong with Trixie's future husband?"

Soarin took a step back, doing his best to project a disarming smile, despite the light sense of panic bubbling in the back of his head. "Woah, woah, not what I meant!" Although... "Well, I mean, nopony's perfect, I'm just not sure Blue's your type." He spent a split second looking her over. "So to speak."

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Ohh, Trixie sees how it is!"

"...What?"

She pointed a hoof at him. "You just want to be with Trixie so you can make My Darling Prince jealous, so that when he's feeling all loveless and lonely you can drop Trixie and swoop into his muscular forelegs!"

"WHAT?!"

"Don't try to deny it! There's no better way to make a pony burn with envy than to be the pony in a relationship with the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

He held up his forehooves defensively. "I think you're misunderstanding a little, my barn door doesn't swing that way!"

She got very, very close, her angry expression indicating it wasn't for any of the eight reasons Soarin might have liked, but with a distant possibly of a ninth or tenth. "We are talking about Prince Blueblood, Most Eligible Bachelor in Equestria, Best-Groomed Fetlocks Trixie Has Ever Seen, Longest Horn On Anypony But A Princess, Toned, Muscular Body, and! That! Face!" She grabbed Soarin's head in her forehooves and shook him. "Sexual preference is not an issue here!"

He faintly recalled his first encounter with Prince, chuckling. "He's a pretty guy, I'll give you that!"

Trixie beamed, dropping him with an audible thud. "Right?!"

While they were on the subject, it seemed like a good time to put his Love Guru magic to work. Standing up, he brushed himself off. "Ok, so I can see why you're interested, but there's more to love than two ponies just being really amazing together, y'know? How do you know you'd really like one another?"

She grinned triumphantly. "Ignoring for a moment that everypony loves Trixie," he guessed brushing a nonchalant hoof against her chest was for effect, "whether they know it or not, My Dearest Prince is completely head over hooves for her!"

There was a short silence. "So, the teleporting away, freezing up in panic when you caught him...?"

She giggled, dismissively waving a hoof. "Jitters. He loves Trixie so much, he just doesn't know what to do!"

He nodded. Humoring her seemed like a better way to make progress. "Have you ever been around him long enough that he wasn't nervous anymore?"

Her mouth opened to reply, but none came immediately. Her face scrunched up a little as she seemed to concentrate on no particular point in space, looking a bit like Ditzy Doo did when trying to focus on a butterfly that had landed on her nose. She eventually looked at Soarin, head slightly tilted. "What... What do you mean?"

He shrugged. "Just, if he only ever panics around you, what makes you think he ever liked you in the first place?"

Looking for a moment as though the imaginary butterfly on her nose had been swatted with a newspaper while still on her face, she shook her head. "Hmph! Trixie knows just how her beloved feels about her! Now where is he?!"

Soarin raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think I'd know where to-"

She spoke through gritted teeth. "Don't think Trixie wasn't paying attention, you said he isn't 'Trixie's type', and you wouldn't know that if you didn't know him. Well?"

He'd only meant to butter her up, but she actually was kindof smart. But he would be smarter! He pointed behind her. "Hey, look over there!"

Her deadpan stare said she was seconds away from turning him into a frog or something. "Really?"

He nodded, smiling. "Yup! Blueblood and the cutie he can't take his eyes off of are right over-"

"WHAT?!" She whirled around so quickly he had to take a step back to avoid being slapped by her cape, immediately followed by taking off and speeding away before she knew what had happened.

Doctor decided to be helpful. "Soarin's keeping her busy. Perhaps you could inform us, who exactly is the pony that seems so fixated on you?"

"S-she's, uh..." He sighed quietly, but remained audible through the bookshelf. "It started when I was a colt..."

Chapter 3: Regroup!

Prince Blueblood, age 10, wandered the Royal Garden of Canterlot Palace, alone. That's how it usually was, since the incident at the magicite cavern. With his parents gone, his remaining family didn't want anything to do with him, and he just didn't want to talk to much of anypony else. Even his aunt didn't seem to have time for him of late. So, Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns would let out for the day, he'd wander alone for a while, then turn in for the night. This was the plan until he noticed colorful lights and strange sounds coming from deeper in the garden.

Moving in to investigate, he saw a blue unicorn filly, her cutie mark a blue wand with a star for a tip in front of a sparkly crescent moon, standing in the middle of a maelstrom of magical lights, fires of at least four different colors whirling about in the air as she reared up on her hind legs. She seemed to direct it all with subtle movements of her horn, forehooves waving about (though that might have just been to keep her balance) in a slow dance. Eventually, the floating strands of light and colored fire began to gather a few meters above her head, spiraling and wrapping around one another as though being sewn into a big, spherical blanket. Fusing together, the orb glowed a brilliant white before dispersing in a flash.

Settling on all four hooves and breathing heavily, the filly smiled to herself for a job well-done. She was startled by thunderous applause in the form of hooves stamping the ground behind her. Quickly turning, she saw a white unicorn colt grinning ear to ear.

"That was amazing! You must be the best magic pony in the whole world!"

Little Trixie's face flushed as she tried to reply, a nervous stutter all her throat would allow. "Th-tha-thank you, I-I, u-uhm-"

He took a few steps closer, smile just as strong. "Wow, you can even change colors in your face!"

If it had been on purpose, she would have appeared to increase the effort, double-casting her Stutter Spell at the same time, visibly shaking. "Th-this, I-I-I, it's n-not really-"

He blinked once, shining teeth disappearing with his smile as he stared at her, wide-eyed. She felt a lot like a rabbit in the face of a speeding carriage, unable to move, frozen in his sight. "You," he uttered, "are so pretty."

She compulsively tried to pull her mane in front of her face to hide behind it, smiling sheepishly. "R-really...?"

He nodded once, smiling again. "Really! I'm Prince Blueblood, who are you?"

"T...Trixie." She looked him in the eye. "Trixie Lulamoon."

"...And then?" Shining prodded.

"And then," Prince replied with muffled annoyance from behind the bookshelf, "she went crazy!"

Doctor grinned. "Tackle-you-in-the-streets crazy?"

"Worse!"

"Send-you-hoof-long-love-letters crazy?"

"Worse."

"Stalk you on your way home crazy?"

"Worse."

"Tell-your-aunt(Princess Celestia)-over-tea-she-wants-to-spend-life-with-you crazy?"

"Worse."

There was a short, curious pause before the pony still in hiding continued.

"Well, that too, but I'd rather not go into it."

"Alright," Shining said, "what are you going to do about her?"

"Honestly? I'm open to suggestions."

"Hmm," Doctor hmm'd, a hoof on his chin, "what have you tried so far?"

"Staying out of her sight has proven the most effective short-term tactic."

"Is that the only thing you've tried?"

There was a long silence, ended with a muffled cough. "Like I said, open to suggestions."

Shining spoke up, smiling. "You might not have to worry about her much longer, if we're lucky Soarin might, uh..." He scratched the back of his head with a hoof, trying not to blush. "Be Soarin. And then-"

"Tried that," came the ex-wonderbolt's voice from an upper window, startling the three in the library, "I can't prove she dyed her fur, but she's pretty dead-set on you, Blue."

"Why," Shining inquired with a hint of irritation, "are you in the window?"

Soarin looked as though he'd been asked why the sky was blue. "It was open."

There was a muffled face-hoof. He would have closed all the entry points off before hiding, but that might have been just the suspicious kind of move to clue Trixie in that somepony was hiding there, defeating the purpose somewhat.

"Wait," Shining said, guard senses tingling, "if you're here, where's Trixie?"

He grinned proudly. "Probably wandering around town wondering how she lost a battle of wits to-"

"You mean she could be anywhere, lurking around any corner, under any floor tile?!"

Soarin's ears folded back a little as he lowered his head. "...Never mind."

Doctor, silently mouthing 'floor tile' with a perplexed look on his face, shook his head and steered the conversation back on track, smiling. "Why not throw yourself at her, reverse psychology?"

"Or tell her you already have a fillyfriend?" That, Shining Armor was sure, would stop Trixie in her great and powerful tracks.

"Pfft" Prince scoffed, "Yes, because a thing like that would get in the way of her unbridled insanity."

"O-of course," Shining retorted, feeling slightly defensive, "if you already have a special somepony, she has to back off, right?" Looking a bookcase in the eye being extremely difficult, he glanced to Doctor, who had a hoof over his mouth in the middle of an unconvincing coughing fit.

This was backed up by Soarin nearly falling out of the window as he rolled around the window sill, laughing.

Shining scowled. "What?!"

The local love guru managed to speak between gasps for breath. "Dude, how many love-struck fillies do you know?"

His ears folded back. "Uhm, w-well..."

Doctor started laughing out loud now.

Blueblood, starting to feel ridiculous where he was, slid the bookshelf aside, stepping out of the compartment that he would have to explain the existence of at a later date. "Suppose some of those ideas are worth a try, though I think I'll go ask the others for good measure. Has anypony seen Thunderlane?"

"Oh, yea," Soarin said, grinning, "He's the MASTER of breaking up!"

Elsewhere, the black pegasus sat eating a sandwich, his lunch break, and stopped mid-mouthful.

Cloud Kicker raised an eyebrow, swallowing the banana she'd been chewing. "Something wrong?"

"I... I think," he uttered, "I want to punch somepony in the face..."

Shining shook his head. "I think he's busy today, same with Big Macintosh."

"True," Doctor added, "but farm work usually allows for light conversation, and not being a hundred feet in the air. I'm sure he could offer some wisdom on the matter, if you stopped by Sweet Apple Acres."

Prince nodded. "Alright, I'll..." He glanced around briefly. "On second thought, would you all mind joining me? I'd rather not risk running into her alone."

"Are you sure?" asked the pegasus still leaning in through the window, "Being chased by a cute mare is a dream come true for-"

"Not if they use nets," the targeted noblepony interrupted, "nor giant rubber bands."

The other three stared at him with a mix of fear and wonder. Shining shook his head. "Not even going to ask."

"Perhaps," Doctor said, looking contemplative, "we should split up, if any of us run into Trixie we can try to keep her busy, you can try either of our methods if she finds you first?"

Soarin, at last joining them on the ground, waved a hoof. "I'll stick to Prince. She probably won't stand around talking to me a second time, but I bet I could distract her long enough for him to slip away."

Blueblood nodded. "Alright, thank you all for the help, are we ready?"

The other three smiled, answering in unison. "Ready!"

Not long after departure from the library, leaving the 'Closed' sign up before he left, Shining Armor marched through town. He wasn't 100% sold on the idea that he needed to keep his friend and boss safe from a traveling showpony, but kept on the lookout for trouble anyway.

"You want Trixie to WHAT?!"

He might have found it. Pressing himself against a nearby wall to keep out of sight, he peered carefully around the corner to see Ditzy Doo talking to the very pony Blueblood was trying to avoid.

Ditzy nodded, smiling happily. "A lot of ponies have done it, especially his closest friends!" She didn't know why this pony wanted to get close to Prince Blueblood, but more friends were always nice, right?

What, the hiding guard pondered, are they talking about...?

The showmare's face colored faintly. "T-Trixie isn't going to do something like that to earn her beloved's affection, it's just barbaric!"

The eavesdropping spell (you can do all kinds of magic unnoticed when wearing a hat like Trixie's) Trixie had used when the two stallions that approached her mid-cuddle started whispering hadn't helped much. She was sure they had been just about to say where he went when that damn pegasus showed up. Still, Trixie had determined that somepony around here had to know about her future husband, and the pony with the mailbag going around delivering letters most likely knew where everypony in town lived. However, the conversation had taken a turn she wasn't fully comfortable with.

Ditzy frowned a little. "Are you sure? I know it's weird, but I think he kinda likes it."

Trixie's jaw dropped.

The grey mare smiled sheepishly. "Well, maybe just once?"

"But, b-but," she stammered in reply, "wouldn't that, you know, hurt? a lot?"

She scratched her head with a hoof. "Hmm... Maybe the first time, but I really think you'd have a good shot if you did."

Trixie looked away with a huff, crossing her forelegs and pouting. There was a long silence until she spoke up again, quietly. "Just... One time?"

Ditzy nodded, smiling cheerfully. "One time!"

The pony in the pointy hat refused to make eye contact, her face still slightly red. "...Trixie will consider this..."

Shining Armor stood still, knowing from experience not to jump in based solely on what he was hearing. No, he would be smarter this time! He slipped away to warn Blueblood.

"But honestly," Trixie asked, throwing her forehooves upwards, "how can Trixie just trot up to her future husband and PUNCH him?!"

Ditzy smiled apologetically. "I'm not really sure, but I think that's how he makes friends."

She sighed. It was something to consider, at least. "Oh!" Remembering the reason for talking to this pony, she straightened her hat somewhat. "Where does he live again...?"

Soarin hovered in the air as the pair made their way to the apple orchard. "We're almost there," he said with a grin, "don't worry buddy, I'm not leaving you no matter wha-"

Just then, Cloud Chaser flew by so fast she nearly tackled him out of the air. Looping back to face them, her face showed panic and desperation. "Soarin," she cried, "we need your help, it's an emergency!"

He gestured to Blueblood with a hoof. "I can't, we're busy with-"

Soarin's secretary grabbed his head in both forehooves. "SHE is back!"

Not having time to decide whether or not he liked this new head-grabbing trend, Soarin gulped, giving Prince an apologetic glance. "Welp, gotta go, bye!" And the two sped off.

The abandoned noblepony blinked as he watched them disappear, only having the presence of mind to shout "TRAITOR!!" when they were well out of earshot.

And so, Prince stood alone on the dirt road to Sweet Apple Acres, his companion having been abducted by his secretary for what she would only identify as an emergency. While confident that it would make for an interesting story in Sugarcube Corner one morning, it left him on his own should he run into Trixie. No matter, he was at the destination, and it wasn't long before he found the big, red farmer he'd come to hear advice from, exchanged greetings, and started explaining the situation.

"Alright, there's a mare in town I knew as a colt. Long story short, she and I didn't see eye to eye on a few things, such as personal space and the exact definition of "trespassing." She eventually left me alone, but now it seems she's up to her old, somewhat frightening tricks." He shuddered, remembering how she saw through his teleportation. I didn't even know there was a spell for that!

"This filly likes ya more'n ya like her, Ah take it?" He gave the nearest tree a good kick, clearing it of apples.

"That would be the jist of it, yes."

Luckily, this was a problem Big Mac had some experience with. He raised a single eyebrow. "Blue, ya ever try jus' sayin' 'no'?"

Prince seemed thrown by the utter simplicity of the idea, slowly reaching up to scratch his head. "Just... What?"

The farmer nodded. "When she asks ya to if ya wanna be 'er special somepony, jus' say 'nope.'"

He blinked slowly, internalizing the notion. "...Nope?"

Big Mac smiled. "Eyyup, nope."

Blueblood grinned as well, feeling more confident than he had all day. "Nope! Haha, nope! Yes, I'd like to see what she has to say to that!" Exchanging goodbyes with his busy friend, he felt as ready as he'd ever be to get rid of the obsessive madmare. It was then that a thought that he'd never believed he would dare allow in his mind surfaced.

Time to go looking for Trixie.

"Hey, Ditzy!"

"Hey, Doctor!"

"Finished up today's deliveries?"

She nodded happily. "Yup!"

Doctor smiled. "Great, there's something I'd like to talk to you about. Have you heard about the newest source of excitement to hit the area?"

She blinked. "The electric groundhogs? Are they here already?"

He shook his head, still smiling. "Other source of excitement, one Trixie Lulamoon?"

Ditzy grinned back. "Oh, yea! I think she has a thing for Prince Blueblood, so I told her where he lives." And then Doctor got that look. A smile, but with a twinkle in his eye that said 'Ohh, this is going to be fun!' She frowned a little, tilting her head inquisitively. "Ummm...?"

"There's something of a history between those two, and while I don't know the whole thing, this is what he's told us so far..."

"Alright," Trixie muttered to herself, "the library was closed, but somepony saw him heading this way..." To an apple orchard. A very, very, BIG apple orchard. Well, finding a big, white unicorn among brown and green scenery dotted with red sounded simple enough, so she got to trotting in no particular direction. Trixie saw some strange things, wandering those fields, some of which gave her a weird, eerie feeling. Empty buckets placed around trees? Ok. A colorful tree house? Fine. Trails of tree sap running in zig-zags along the ground? Odd. Apple slices assembled to resemble a life-size lobster on a plate? She took that one as a sign that she needed to find the prince and leave before the sun went down, because something was very wrong with this place.

Next it'll probably be rusty axes and piles of bones...

Trotting a little faster, she noticed a blotch of red much larger than the others, and on the ground. Pony-shaped. She waved a hoof. "Hello there! Trixie seeks assistance!"

Big Mac inclined his head to look at the newcomer as she approached, bucking the nearest tree clean. "Howdy. What can I do ya for?"

She smiled amicably."Trixie is in search of the Alabaster Angel of Canterlot, Most Eligible Bachelor in Equestria, Best-Groomed Fetlocks Trixie Has Ever Seen, Longest Horn On Anypony But A--"

"Yer lookin' fer Prince Blueblood?"

"...yes, him."

This filly was looking for Blue too? Maybe she and the one Blue had been worried about knew eachother. He nodded once. "Eeyup, he came through not too long ago, reckon he's headed out since then, though." He shifted the stalk of hay in his mouth from one side to the other as the pony in the flashy cape and hat seemed to deflate a bit. "What's yer int'rest in Prince, iffin' ya don't mind mah askin?"

Her smile recovered a little. "Trixie seeks to be with her beloved, of course! When she finds him, he and Trixie will be the most Great," She stood up on her hind legs, forehooves extended upwards, "and Powerful couple in ALL of Equestria!" This was the point where most in her position might laugh maniacally, but it came out as more like that of a foal imagining she were princess of the playground than the dark master of a crystal spire.

Giggling fillies always tickled Macintosh's brotherly instincts, possibly due to having two of them to look after, even if Applejack didn't laugh as much as Applebloom these days. Aside from that, the mare in the funny hat was helping somepony else find their special somepony? Darn nice thing to do, that. He smiled a little. "Well, Ah reckon Miss Trixie'll find him sooner 'r later, Ponyville ain't that big, afterall."

She blinked, settling on all fours again. Rarely did other ponies refer to Trixie in the 3rd pony. Trixie approved, showing it with a wide, somewhat haughty grin. "Well, Trixie thanks you for your time, kindly apple farmer," she reared back to excitedly flail her forehooves in the air, "but she must be going!"

And with that, she vanished in a puff of purple smoke, Big Macintosh too distracted by a thought that just sprung up to notice her running off through the trees. Wait a tic, wasn't Blue worried about a filly that wanted to...? He face-hoofed. "Oops." With a faintly lingering gaze on the spot where she'd disappeared, he figured the pony in the funny hat was Trixie, her speech matching her fashion sense. Still, she seemed like a nice enough pony. He took a few more seconds to ponder how bad she could have been years ago before getting back to work.

Later, Prince found himself standing in front of Trixie's wagon, staring at it not unlike a colt might stare at a dragon's cave. There was a chance this would work, a chance everything would work out fine if he followed his friends' advice, after all, he'd gotten three different suggestions! There was also a chance she wasn't in there at the moment and he would soon look very silly for all this trepidation. Such were his thoughts when he was startled by a hoof landing on his shoulder, accompanied by the voice of Shining Armor.

"There you are!" When Blueblood turned to look at him, his face was serious. "I think Trixie is planning to molest you somehow."

Prince felt his jaw drop, mouth twitching both in effort to close it again and to form a reply.

Shining went on. "I overheard her talking, and while I didn't catch the specific details, it sounded like she had something really..." He looked away slightly, face tinting red. "Unseemly, in mind."

Blinking slowly, Prince managed to verbalize again. "Right... Suppose that's not too much of a surprise, really, given her track record. Thanks for the warning."

Shining nodded, then caught sight of two ponies approaching from behind Prince. He smiled, waving at them with a hoof. "Hey Doctor, hey Soarin!"

Blueblood turned to face them as well. "That emergency business all wrapped up, then?"

Soarin, landing, nodded. "Yup!"

Doctor glanced at the wagon appraisingly. "I take it that by gathering at her home and/or place of performance, that nopony has seen Trixie recently enough to know where she is?"

The others answered in unison. "Yup."

He smiled. "And I would further guess that the hope is that we need only wait until she returns to said mobile stage-slash-living space?"

"Yup."

He nodded. "Splendid!"

In mere minutes, boredom set in. As did awkward silence.

"So," Shining said, producing a deck of cards, "anypony for a game? I used to play this with my sister all the time."

Chapter 4: Behind Enemy Lines!

Having heard the story of how Prince Blueblood and Trixie first met, warm fuzzies tickling her insides ever since, Ditzy was determined to see those two together, more-so than earlier today! Doctor said he had "something kind of not-not unlike what may or may not have not been a plan" to help Prince get over whatever issues he had with Trixie. Until then, she would try to keep Trixie from giving up, already having a pretty good idea how to find her. Flying above Ponyville for a bit, it wasn't long before she spotted a starry, purple hat coming from Sweet Apple Acres, luckily being worn by Trixie!

She had intended to swoop down, land in front of her, and say hello. Colliding with the ground almost at Trixie's hooves and startling her considerably was probably okay too.

Trixie looked like she was barely fending off a heart attack. "W-w-what the hay do you think you're doing?!"

Ditzy got up, shaking off the dust. "Hi again! Sorry about that, kinda lost control there."

Trixie gave her an odd look, trying not to think what it would be like if unicorns -especially one of her talent- were to randomly lose control of their magic. "Right. Well, if you'll excuse Trixie she's rather busy looking for-"

She smiled. "Prince Blueblood? I think I can help!"

Considering this, Trixie grinned as well. "Then your company is most welcome!" Ditzy began to lead, they made it only a few steps before the showpony added, "but don't ask Trixie to punch anypony."

Ditzy giggled. "I'm just saying..."

She decided to start with Sugarcube Corner, but they didn't see any of the six she'd hoped to. "Darn," Ditzy mumbled, "Looks like they're not around right now. You can usually find Prince and his friends hanging out here." She smiled to Trixie. "Oh, well, wanna grab a muffin while we're here?"

Trixie carefully averted her eyes as though inspecting the interior of the building. "Trixie maintains a fairly consistent eating schedule, and would rather not offset it with pastry." She had long ago mastered ways to avoid so much as implying that she might not have had much money to burn.

"Are you sure? They make just about everything great here, my treat!"

She regarded her guide with just a hint of suspicion, but nodded slowly, not at all influenced by the faint, inaudible gurgle in her own stomach. Once they were seated, she spoke quietly. "Alright, what do you really want?"

Ditzy grinned, looking at the blue mare that had come to take their orders until Pinkie Pie returned from her errand. "I think I'll go with a blueberry muffin this time! How about you?"

"No, I mean, what are you really after here?"

She blinked twice. "...A snack?"

Trixie decided to elaborate as Mrs. Cake trotted off, voice still low. "Nopony just offers things without expecting anything in return. Do you want money? Jewels? Because Trixie doesn't really carry around a lot of wealth." She blinked. "N-not all the time, I mean!"

The mailmare frowned a little, something about Trixie reminded her of Blueblood when he first came to town. What was it? "Um..."

"Oh, I know, you'd like to be on stage with Trixie in her next show?" She drew a hoof to her chin, eyes carefully scanning her prospective performance partner. "Trixie doesn't know what you would do to dazzle a crowd, do you have any-"

Ditzy held up a hoof. "Wait a minute, please?"

She went quiet, still looking at the pony across the table analytically, both for a motive and possible insight as to whether or not she could ride a unicycle. I know I've seen pegasi keep balance with their wings, cheating, but the crowd never seems to notice...

"Haven't you ever just wanted to help somepony? Just to make them smile?"

Trixie's eyes narrowed. "Why would you want to help me?"

Despite a little grin, Ditzy's voice was calm. "Because you're new in town, you're looking for a friend, and everypony could use a little help now and then." Mrs. Cake returned with a tray bearing two blueberry muffins, setting it on the table and smiling to her regular customer. Ditzy nudged a muffin toward Trixie, eyes earnest and friendly. "Right?"

Trixie took a moment to look back and forth between the confection and its offerer, visibly confused. She lowered her gaze to settle on the muffin, the rim of her hat blocking her eyes as she picked it up in her magic. "Thank you," she whispered, "T-Trixie will pay you back someday."

Ditzy wanted to say that it wouldn't be necessary, but settled on enjoying muffins in silence, Trixie not making eye contact again until they got up to search elsewhere for Prince.

What they found on the way out after Ditzy paid for the muffins was Pinkie Pie, who stopped dead when she saw Trixie. "GAAASSSP!!!" And she sped off.

The mailmare looked to her companion, who stood perfectly still with a perplexed look on her face. "...Trixie knows she's amazing and all, but most ponies don't run away like that."

Ditzy smiled, rolling her eyes (for what she could manage, each eye moving in different directions). "I really wish she would exchange names first or something, might save time later. Oh, well, let's try somewhere else... Maybe he's at the library?"

"Trixie tried there earlier, nopony was home." She checked, one of the windows was open. Even the secret compartment she found behind the bookcase was empty.

Well, that was the two most likely spots down, they'd just have to wander for a while. Ponyville wasn't that big, you were bound to run into the pony you're looking for sooner or later.

The post office? No. The park? Nope. A little tree-cottage on the edge of town? Not there either. It was entirely possible that Trixie's guide was wandering around at random (suggesting Sugarcube Corner a few more times on the way), which would explain why they were looking for a grown stallion at the local schoolhouse. It was just as well that they'd arrived during recess when all the foals were out playing, Trixie felt she could use a rest. Sitting under a tree near the swingsets, she watched Ditzy nuzzling a little purplish unicorn with a similar mane and eyes, possibly her little sister? Or, maybe her daughter? She looked a little young to be a parent, but somehow it fit.

This line of thought led to a very, very uncomfortable one she'd done her best to ignore many times before. Foals. Making a foal might be easy, but the rest is supposed to be very long and very, very painful. Looking at the horn of the little filly Ditzy was patting on the head, Trixie gulped. She did not do well with pain, and the prospect of motherhood, raising a foal of her own, was an alien and terrifying one. She loved Blueblood, that much she was sure of, but there was only so long she could tell herself she'd figure it out later. Ooh, maybe he would know? That would certainly take a lot of pressure off-

Something tugged on her cloak. Snapping to attention, she looked to the source, a little white colt with brown spots and a darkish brown mane. "'Scuze me, Miss, why are you wearin' a blanket? Are you cold?"

She chuckled, standing up. "Trixie's Magnificent Cloak is for her performances, as is her Wondrous Hat!" It was good for keeping warm some nights, too, but that wasn't important right now.

The foal tilted his little head, confused. "Performances?"

Part of her was impressed that he correctly pronounced the word the first time, doubly so with his accent. Nodding once, she smiled. "Like this." She closed her eyes, focusing on the air in front of her as a series of rectangular prisms of white light appeared, floating apart from each other and twisted at angles from each other not unlike the steps in a spiral staircase, all of them rotating in the air at once like a slow-moving drill with no tip. Opening her eyes again and grinning to herself at the colt's already mesmerized expression, Trixie flicked her horn (and consequently the rest of her head) and the prisms of light solidified into a pure sheen around the shapes that had made them, the result a floating spiral of metallic, shining rectangular blocks without the metal, slowly twirling about in the air.

It was then that Trixie heard the collective 'ooh's and 'aah's of the band of colts and fillies that had gathered to witness her work, right before the sound of little hooves stamping in applause. She grinned. Might as well do a few more now that I have an audience! "Watch and be amazed, colts and fillies, at the mystifying magic of the Great, and Powerful Trrrrixie!"

The gleaming spiral of disembodied shine she'd been using to entertain the first of her young fans began spinning much faster, taking off and flying about, circling the foals as they followed with their eyes, giggling as some tried to catch it in their hooves. It flew toward a flowerbed by the school building, whirling through the plants a few times and picking up a petal or two from each flower with each contact. As the spiral began to float back to the foals, each petal following it began to shine and glow as though glistening with dew directly in the rays of morning light, regardless of angle to the sun. The petals flowed with the spiral like the tail of a serpent, again weaving and whirling near the excited colts and fillies until orbiting Trixie herself several times, each pass faster than the one before. Trixie stood up on her hind legs, pulling her cloak about herself like the wings of a bat and looking down, her hat obscuring her face at the very instant the spiral and all of its shining tail flowed under the cloak.

All was silent for a moment, Trixie looking like some strange, pointy-hatted cocoon until she looked up, beaming, and threw her forehooves out, the inside of her cape projecting all colors of the rainbow with bright intensity, billowing as it released a massive cloud of shimmering, golden flower petals over the foals, and a dark-purplish-coated mare with a light pink mane that had apparently come to enjoy the show. The collective response, as she expected, was thunderous applause. Well, as thunderous as could be managed by a dozen or so foals, their teacher, and Ditzy Doo. Two colts in particular seemed especially amazed.

Cheerilee, though still smiling brightly, was the first to compose herself. "And that, class, is a fine show of what can be done with unicorn magic!" She turned to Trixie. "Thank you for the demonstration, but we really need to get back to class now."

Despite the collective, dejected 'awwww' of the foals, Trixie grinned, striking a majestic pose. "Now, now, Trixie didn't get to be the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria through play alone. Study hard, and you too may someday be Great and Powerful!"

Though not exactly enamored with the arrogance of the sentiment, her class eagerly charging into the school building made Cheerilee want to kiss Trixie, though something told her she wasn't into mares. Neither was Cheerilee for that matter, but still...

As the class headed back in, Ditzy approached, cheerful little grin prominent as ever. "I don't think we'll find him here, but it was nice of you to play with those kids."

"Y-yes, of course," she chuckled, "Trixie's benevolence knows no bounds!"

Ditzy was smart enough to know she probably just felt like showing off, but the foals, Dinky and Rumble included, liked it, so what was the harm? "We should probably keep looking, let's try Sugarcu-"

Trixie scowled. "For pity's sake, Ditzy!!"

She smiled sheepishly. "Oh, right!"

Trixie rolled her eyes, faintly surprised to find herself smiling. "Are the local bakers really that good?"

Crossed eyes sparkled. "Yeeeeessss!"

She didn't recall the muffin she'd had earlier as being particularly amazing, but regardless she was a mare on a mission! "Right. Where else might we find Blueblood?"

They wound up at the weather office. Opening the door, Ditzy glanced over her shoulder with a smile. "I don't think we'll find Blueblood himself here, but one of his closest friends works with the weather team, so I think it's worth a try." Walking in, they could hear a mare talking.

"So, yes, standing under a rain-cloud while checking to make sure the right forms were ordered this time probably wasn't Dusty's best idea."

Thunderlane chuckled. "In her defense, Rainbow flying around randomly bucking clouds doesn't usually have a lot of fore-warning on days it's not supposed to rain."

Cloud Kicker snorted. "True." Rainbow had been in especially foul mood for some reason, not helped at all by the short (if hilarious) arguments with Lightning Dust about watching where she throws her tantrums and whether or not her patented Rain-Blow-Dry™ would just tear the wet papers to shreds. Luckily, Cloud had been there to cheerfully offer to find a way to dry them off, sneakily defusing the situation then and there. The last thing they needed was those two at each others' throats again.

Ditzy happily bounded toward the pair of pegasi, grinning ear to ear. "Thunderlane! Have you seen Prince?"

He replied without even looking up from the slightly damp, crumply sheets spread out on the desk. "No."

Ditzy tripped mid-gallop, face-planting and sliding along the floor until her head lightly collided with a wall. "Oh," she said with a voice drained of enthusiasm, "never mind then..."

As she hugged her hind legs to her stomach and curled up into a little ball of despair, Cloud Kicker caught sight of Trixie, who'd watched the last fifteen seconds with a mildly perplexed look on her face. The purple pegasus grinned, zipping over to Trixie and draping a hoof over her back, but before she could so much as say something welcoming, Trixie lightly pushed her away.

"As much as it may wound you to hear, Trixie is already quite spoken for."

A little surprised, Cloud Kicker giggled a little. That honestly wasn't what she'd had in mind at the moment. "Who's the lucky pony?"

She grinned, striking a haughty pose. "The Pony With Amazing Azure Eyes, Alabaster Angel of Canterlot, Most Eligible Bachelor in Equestria, Best-Groomed-"

Thunderlane finally spoke up, raising a slightly suspicious eyebrow. "Wait, Blueblood never said anything about having a fillyfriend." Let alone one dressed like a circus routine, but he'd seen some crazy styles out of Canterlot.

Trixie brushed a lock of her mane aside in a nonchalant fashion. "It shouldn't come as a surprise, really," she glanced at a nearby filing cabinet, smiling in admiration at her own reflection in its metallic sheen, "two beautiful, perfect ponies such as he and Trixie finding happiness together? Was there ever any doubt?"

In his head, the black pegasus fought a three-way battle. The contenders were Answering Her Question, Avoiding That Question, and Ignoring Her And Focusing On His Paperwork. The last was disqualified on account of said papers still drying and, having nothing better to do, the first option won a bloody victory. "Are we talking about the same guy here? Prince Blueblood?"

Raising an eyebrow, she took a few steps closer. "What exactly are you implying abou-" she stopped, looking questioningly at the contents of the desk. "Why are these papers wet?"

Thunderlane answered in complete deadpan. "It rained."

"Trixie hasn't seen a drop fall all day!"

"It only rained in one spot."

Not particularly interested in the intricacies of weather pony logic, Trixie shrugged. "Ok, then. Now what was that about Trixie's Future Husband?"

He shrugged. "Don't know, I'm just not sure he's the 'Future Husband' type-"

"Snrk!"

A white mohawk shifted slightly as Thunderlane whipped his head to the side to see Cloud Kicker trying and failing to cover a huge grin with a hoof. He raised an eyebrow.

She suppressed a giggle. "Nothing, nothing!"

Thunderlane slowly looked back toward the equally confused stage magician, whom he'd heard a bit about earlier today. "...Anyway, you might not find much luck in love with-"

He was interrupted by more giggles, repeating his action of a moment ago as Cloud sheepishly smiled back.

Getting annoyed, he had a pretty good idea what it was she found so funny. "...Speaking from experience, I-"

"PFFFTHAHAHAHA!"

Another glare. She was visibly tearing up trying not to laugh, both forehooves over her mouth. He spoke through gritted teeth. "Anything you'd like to share, Cloud Kicker?"

She shook her head during a very unconvincing coughing fit.

Letting out a breath through his nose, he looked back at Trixie, who looked increasingly bewildered. "So, yea, he probably hasn't been waiting for you all his life."

"Nonsense, ponies wait their whole lives to meet Trixie before they know she exists!"

Leaning back in his chair, Thunderlane crossed his forehooves, giving the showmare an inquisitive look. "Is that why he's been with so many fillies already?" Trixie made a face suggesting offense, but he continued. "I don't know the exact numbers, but the way he talks I don't think you'd be his first, if you catch my drift."

Cloud Kicker brushed a hoof against her chin. "I think it's somewhere in the twenties, maybe thirty?" She sampled bewildered, slightly frightened stares from everypony but Ditzy, who was still lying by the wall she'd collided with. She smiled. "It's a gift."

"You're making that up," said Thunderlane with more hope than conviction, "I'm not completely sold on the Pinkie Sense, being able to tell how many... Um..."

"Banging buddies?" She offered helpfully.

He shrugged. "Sure, that, but you are not telling me you have a sixth sense for something so stupid."

She grinned wider. "Trixie's count is zero." That one was riddled out with a bit of logical deduction, but why spoil the fun?

Curious, Thunderlane turned to face the now beet-red stage magician, as if searching for affirmation. Rapidly looking back and forth between the pegasi, she managed a stutter. "T-th-that, that is NONE of your-"

Cloud Kicker took a step closer, looking like she was having entirely too much fun teasing the celibate-for-now unicorn. "Don't worry, there's no shame in it, just a lot of time that could have been spent," she waggled her eyebrows, "very differently!"

Trixie harrumphed, closing her eyes and pointing her bright-red snout toward the ceiling. "Trixie just hasn't found anypony else worthy to be called her lover, that's all!"

The weathermare rolled her eyes, chuckling. "Then I guess you'd want to be doubly sure you got the one that was, right?"

Cautiously opening one eye, Trixie directed it at Cloud Kicker. "R-right..."

She beamed, zipping closer and draping a wing over Trixie's back. "Then let me share some tips!"

Lightning Dust stepped into the weather office, having dried off from Rainbow Careless Dash's outburst earlier. Turning the corner, she found Thunderlane at his desk, focusing very intently on a bunch of papers with his hooves over his ears and his face slightly red, Ditzy Doo sitting in the corner counting off something on her wings while looking confused, and of course, Cloud Kicker smirking at some other pony, who she'd probably brought in to chat up and fool around with later.

Seeing her approach, Cloud smiled and waved a hoof. "Hi, Dusty!"

"Don't call me that," she deadpanned automatically, "are the forms dry yet?"

They both looked at Thunderlane, who hadn't shifted his gaze from the desk or his hooves from his ears. Papers. Drying papers. Papers getting dry. That is what I'm hearing right now. That and nothing else.

Lightning did not look amused. "You delegated the job to him, didn't you?"

"What? No, I-"

"Don't tell me, your brilliant plan was to leave them with the driest pony in town, hoping it'd catch on?" The hint of a smirk on her face suggested she said it more to get his attention than anything else, but look on his face as he noticed she was in the room going from alert to slightly annoyed in silence just made it all the sweeter.

He looked back and forth between the two of them, getting the strangest feeling that he'd just been insulted, but not wanting to jump to conclusions. "What?"

Trixie smiled, seeing a chance to repay the weathermare's assistance for when she found Blueblood. "Watch and be amazed!" They couldn't see her horn light up, but any trace of moisture fading from the papers on the desk was immediately apparent. The drying spell had come in handy many times when her wagon had a leak.

Lightning Dust's mouth opened, closed, and opened again. "Huh. I guess it worked." She suppressed the urge to scowl as Cloud Kicker stepped closer, her face expectant. Do it quick and clean, like ripping off a band-aid. "Good job."

Cloud Kicker beamed, wings fluttering happily as she nuzzled Lightning's face. "It's what I do, Dusty!"

Quickly stepping back, the automatic reply came again. "Don't call me that!" She gathered up the papers and headed out, warily watching the skies for clouds even a little grayer than normal.

Giggling, the purple pony turned to Trixie with a grateful grin. "Thanks!"

She smiled a smug little smile in reply. "Always count on the mystifying magic of the Great, and Powerful Trixie!" Truth be told, she was happier about repaying the favor immediately. The Great and Powerful Trixie didn't like having debts, no matter how small.

Ditzy got up, shaking her head sadly as she approached the others. "I'm sorry, we've looked everywhere I know to look and there's no sign of him." The mailmare managed a cheerful little grin. "I've gotta get going now, but good luck on your search, Trixie!" She left in the same fashion as Lightning did, school would be letting out soon and somepony had to be there to pick up Dinky!

Thunderlane tilted his head curiously. "Search?"

Cloud answered before Trixie could. "They were looking for Blueblood, remember? She's the pony we heard about earlier."

"Ah." Now he looked directly at her. "Have you tried your wagon? He might actually be looking for you."

Trixie's mouth opened and closed a few times. "I, uh, o-of course Trixie would look there, eventually. Trixie was just, er, exploring the town in which her beloved lived first!" Before anypony could reply, she reared up on her hind legs, "Farewell!" and vanished in a puff of purple smoke.

When it cleared and the coughing fits subsided, Cloud Kicker smiled. "She's fun."

Author's Note

Ditzy is a reasonably smart pony. Smart does not mean not forgetful sometimes. Ask Doctor.

Chapter 5: Lock and Load!

Soarin set down a card. "I choose Porcupuncture!"

"I think it's 'activate'," Doctor said, "or is it 'summon'?"

"Depends," Shining said, a hoof on his chin as he tried to concentrate, "has it been three turns since the trap-card triumvirate went inactive?"

"Yes," Prince said, looking at his cards as though he had no idea what they were for, "but I thought that Demagify thing from a few turns ago nullified the graveyard?"

Doctor drew another card from the deck, pretty sure he was supposed to do that now, it had been four minutes since his last card went face-down. "Wasn't that for spells?"

"Yes?" Soarin guessed.

"No." Shining ammended.

"No?"

"I mean... Um... Damn, the rule books are probably back at the library."

"Rulebooks?! Plural?!"

Doctor chuckled. "I'm starting to see why your sister usually won these games."

Shining scowled a little. "We're gonna have to have a talk about you knowing things I didn't tell you, Doctor."

He smiled innocently. "Oh, I didn't know, it was just easily inferred given the context." The others nodded sagely.

Things were not going quite the way Trixie had hoped. First the prince slips out from under her hooves somehow, then the library was apparently closed, no amount of knocking or direct investigation helping her find out whether or not he was in there at all, that farmer might have been trying to help, but ultimately couldn't tell her anything useful, and then a pink pony thoroughly gasp'n'running her while a goofy-eyed, if kind, mailmare accidentally led her in circles. The black pegasus, Wondershame or something, might have had the right idea in returning to her wagon, at least. She was getting tired.

When the wagon was in sight, she also noticed four stallions gathered near it, playing some manner of card game. Among them was a pony that somehow made her forget her fatigue as she increased her pace toward them. "Hello, My Darling Prince!"

While they were still out of earshot, Doctor whispered to Prince, who was already starting to sweat. "You might want to try reverse psychology first, it'll sound a lot less convincing after the other ideas, I think."

Prince nodded. He gulped, but then nodded, the plan made sense. He quickly went over the lines he intended to use in this plan in his head, feeling lucky in that he actually remembered most of them. As Trixie drew close, he quickly stepped forward and wrapped his forehooves around her. "Ah, how pleasant it is to have you here again, My Dear!"

The reasonably confused, if quietly pleased showmare blinked rapidly, sputtering. "I-I, uh, bwuh?"

He backed away slightly, forehooves still on her shoulders, and smiled. "I've been trying to recount the ways I'd like to be yours, from never leaving one another's company for a single, solitary second to being chained together!" He pressed his face a little closer to hers, eyes wide, smile wider. "Forever and ever."

Blinking rapidly, face going red, Trixie stared back at him looking bewildered until a silly sort of smile formed. "W-we could, I mean-"

Internally horrified at what was coming out of his mouth, Blueblood could only think to keep up the offensive, forcing his huge, false grin to stay. "OF COURSE," he all but shouted in her face, "The second one means we would be doing both at the same time, forever! Why, we could get huge, heavy, golden shackles for the wedding. and be bound together every waking moment until death do us part!"

Her eyes misted lightly, but it did not appear to be in fear or revulsion as she continued to smile. "R-really...?"

Taking a few steps back, Prince's mask began to crumble under increasingly obvious panic and sweat.

Shining nudged Doctor with an elbow. "Uhm, Doc? I don't think it's working."

He grinned. "I know. Don't ask why, but I think I support this."

Trixie giggled, brushing a hoof under Prince's chin. "You know, Trixie was thinking... That teleportation spell you did earlier, so many times in such a short period, and with enough precision to squeeze into some of those places? Magnificent, but," she began to blush, her smile showing just the faintest hint of nervousness, "T-Trixie has always had trouble with that spell, -one of VERY few spells Trixie can't seem to cast, mind you!- so perhaps," her voice dropped to a whisper, "you could teach her?"

Eyes still showing no small amount of terror, he grinned a little too widely. "Study closely!" *FLASH!*

Trixie peered around, eyes wide before a smirk found it's way onto her muzzle. "Ohh, you tease!"

He took a moment to get his thoughts together, knowing he didn't have long if she did what she did earlier. He decided on Macintosh's method before teleporting back to Trixie.

Blinking once at his hasty return, she smiled. "Welcome back, Beloved! Trixie has something else to ask you!"

"Nope."

She blinked. "T...Trixie didn't ask the question yet."

"Nope."

She nodded, glad they could agree on the blatantly obvious. "Right, Trixie has happened across a romantic spot not far from the local apple orchard and-"

"Nope."

Trixie made a face as though she'd been swatted on the nose with a rolled up newspaper, a very light pain with a lot of confusion. "No good? Alright, how about the gazebos near-"

He grinned, it was working! "Nope."

"A quiet spot in the woo-"

"Nope."

"The riversi-"

"Nope."

"Uhm..." She placed a hoof to her chin in thought before her eyes widened, a hint of a blush and a smirk that bordered on lewd on her features. "Ohh, you'd rather go back to your place to-"

"Nope!" Soarin was very clearly holding in giggles, Shining Armor doing a much better job of concealing his own.

She deflated slightly. "Oh. Trixie's wagon?"

"Nope!"

Her exasperation told Blueblood he could only keep it up. "I-isn't there anywhere you'd like to go and-"

"Nope!"

She tilted her head, looking slightly annoyed. "Are you just playing a game with Trixie?"

"Nope!"

"Are you going to say anything besides 'nope'?!"

He grinned ear to ear. "Nope!"

Trixie's brow furrowed as she pouted, but Prince only beamed back. Her eyes widened for a split second in a manner that suggested she just had an idea. Then, grinning mischievously, she placed a hoof over his mouth, eyes half-lidded. "If Trixie asked if you wanted to marry her, right now, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one?" She stepped back, allowing him to reply.

"N-" Stopping himself, he looked as though he'd been slapped across the face as her sentence sunk in. "I-I mean ye, I mean, n... N..." He blinked rapidly, visibly sweating. This can't be! The denial method! Denied!

Her smile was equal parts seductive and predatory as she silently thanked Cloud Kicker, looking not unlike a jungle cat about to pounce on a helpless rodent. "Weeeelll?"

Trapped, he looked pleadingly to his friends for assistance. Soarin doubling over in laughter suggested he had few helpful ideas. "D-du-hude," he managed to say between gasps for breath, "if she weren't so obsessed with you, Trixie'd make one hell of a huntress!"

Trixie smiled smugly at this, snout raised just slightly as she took in what she assumed was praise. Blueblood spoke through gritted teeth. "Could you please not encourage her?"

He still hadn't quite conquered his giggles. "Well, you gotta admire the mare, she's putting A LOT of effort into it."

Shining face-hoofed. "Plan C?"

Prince nodded, turning to the grinning showmare with a serious expression. "Trixie, I apologize for being so obtuse about all of this, but the truth is that I already have a fillyfriend."

Her smile vanished. "...You have...?"

"Yes, and as such I cannot be your-"

"Prove it," she interrupted, an eyebrow raised, "show Trixie what you two have got together."

Her target blinked. "Prove it?"

She nodded once. "Prove it."

There was a long pause as Prince looked to his friends inquisitively. "...Prove it?"

"Prove it," Doctor confirmed, Soarin suggestively waggling his eyebrows with an all-too-pleased sort of grin on his face.

"Prove it," he muttered quietly in reply.

"Prooove it?" Shining added, his face suggesting he was working out a particularly difficult puzzle.

Blueblood looked at Trixie, waiting expectantly, and nodded. "Right. Prove it." And then he bolted, Shining giving chase a few seconds later. The two racing stallions made no notice of those watching them zip through the town in random directions, only small, blurred snippets of the conversation picked up by witnesses.

He shouted after his fleeing friend. "What the hay are you doing?!"

Said friend shouted back, not slowing down. "Running for my life, what does it look like?!"

"Don't you have a fillyfriend?!"

"What makes you say that?!"

"I thought you met somepony recently!"

"Umm..."

"Remember?" Shining asked as he galloped alongside the sprinting noblepony, "The one that-"

"I don't know where she lives!!"

He added a note of incredulity to his shouts. "Didn't you walk her home at least once?!"

"Of course, I am a gentlecolt, am I not?!" the sweating, panting, disheveled gentlecolt responded with loud indignance.

"Then why can't you-"

He flicked his head toward the homes they were rushing past. "These houses all look largely the same and it was dark!!"

Growing too fatigued to keep up the chase and shout-talk, Shining deployed a magical sheild in front of Prince, who stopped dead when he collided with it.

Blueblood fell backward, emitting a pained groan that sounded a lot like "Thanks for that, loyal bodyguard."

Catching his breath and wincing at the possible damage he'd just dealt to his employer, Shining Armor helped him to his hooves again. "Sorry." He smiled. "Anyway, I think I know how you can find her!"

Even with their morning runs, it took considerably longer for one of them to get their second wind, so the only reply besides heavy breathing was a raised eyebrow and a faint look of hope.

"All you have to do is sit outside ponies' houses every morning and see who comes out for their mail!"

Prince deadpanned. "You want me to sit outside ponies' houses. And stare at them. As they collect the day's postage."

Shining, realizing how that might be weird, reformed the plan a little. "You could, uh, hide in the bushes or something?"

Prince's jaw dropped. Before he could point out how many ways that probably wasn't acceptable around here, let alone legal, a voice sounded from somewhere nearby.

"Trixie actually rather likes that plan!"

For a pony that just caught his breath, Blueblood did a remarkable job of nearly jumping out of his skin. Upon landing, he quickly turned to face her along with Shining Armor, the two of them a mix of confused and horrified to see that they had run all around Ponyville, bar Sweet Apple Acres, and wound up exactly where they'd started. Damn force of habit!

Trixie was lying in a sultry pose on her stage, cape hanging slightly over the side and hat tipped at an angle on her head, but the most outstanding thing was Soarin and Doctor gently fanning her with giant leaves. Before anypony could ask, Doctor smiled, as much as one could with a fan-leaf in their mouth. "I really have no idea what happened." Soarin could only shrug.

Trixie smirked, speaking in a tone that bordered on suggestive. "What filly wouldn't love finding a handsome prince in their shrubs?"

There were probably more than a few, but now didn't seem like the time. It was at this point that a white unicorn filly was noticed whispering into the ear of Doctor, who had leaned down to hear her. He nodded once and the filly smiled, waving a hoof at her yellow, red-maned friend, who pulled a little red wagon in front of the stage/much bigger wagon. She stopped and looked at Trixie, who stared back curiously. "Howdy, Miss Trixie! Mah friends an' Ah are here to invite'cha to a party!"

Standing up, Trixie raised a single eyebrow, unable to resist an amused smirk. "Really? You'd invite Trixie to your birthday party? Trixie is touched." She was vaguely certain this filly had been present for her brief performance at the school, perhaps classes had ended for the day?

Applebloom smiled. "Oh, it's not mah party, it's yers!"

The magician blinked, confused at both the statement... and that Blueblood was now covering his eyes with both forehooves for some reason. "Trixie really doesn't have time for-"

The little earth pony's eyes went wide and watery as she pouted just a little bit. "Won'tcha come with us, please?"

Trixie drew a hoof to her chest, wincing. "Hnngh...!" She glanced at the nearby stallions, Blueblood and that damn pegasus covering their eyes or looking away as the filly's stare seemed to pull her in, Trixie's mouth speaking words that were not her own. "I... I, I g-guess, I could, just for a little while...?"

She was immediately shoved into the wagon from behind by the white unicorn and an orange pegasus. "Cutie Mark Crusader Pony Retrieval Squad, YAAAAY!!" Pushed by three fillies at once, the wagon sped off toward Sugarcube Corner before its passenger could so much as utter a complaint.

Prince, eyes still covered, tested the waters when things were silent again. "Are they gone?"

Shining and Doctor, who had developed an immunity to the heart-stopping magic of painfully cute foals due to having a little sister or ~~two hearts~~ Dinky, quickly scanned the area. The latter nodded once. "Looks like it."

"Probably a Pinkie Party," Soarin chimed in, "I'd suggest we all go join in, but..."

The quiet was slightly awkward this time as the four present exchanged looks, Shining finally speaking the shared thought. "None of the plans worked, huh?"

"Does anypony have any more ideas?" Prince inquired. "Because all I've got at this point is skipping town for a few days."

Doctor scratched his chin with a hoof. "Perhaps if we knew what attracted her to you in the first place?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Didn't I already explain that part?"

"It had to have been more than a simple compliment or two," Soarin added, "isn't there anything else you can tell us?"

"Indeed," Doctor said, "the more you know about a problem, the easier it is to solve. The better we understand Trixie's infatuation, the more likely we'd be able to help, don't you think?" Shining nodded in agreement more than curiosity. Honest.

"Hm." Blueblood glanced toward the library. "Alright, but it's a bit of a long story and I'd rather not risk her sneaking up on us. Let's head back."

The little red wagon burst into Sugarcube Corner, Trixie having managed to at least right herself enough to be sitting in an upright position, as the whole room shouted "SURPRISE!!"

That Trixie had been told there would be a party would have diminished the effect, but the state of the room was still rather eye-opening. Streamers, balloons, snack tables, confetti, foals' games, and more. It was the picture of a foal's birthday party in everything but a colorful ca-No, wait, I think I see one... Trixie stepped out of the wagon in as dignified a manner as she could manage before asking what had been on her mind since the foals with the wagon first showed up. "Can anypony tell Trixie what exactly is going on here?"

Her answer came in the form of a large, pink, fluffy ball rolling towards her from within the crowd, stopping at her hooves, and unfolding into a brightly grinning pony. "HI! I'm Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you!"

Trixie nodded slowly. It was about time somepony recognized her talents enough to celebrate them, but having her foalnapped by... well, foals, first was just senseless. "You could have just sent Trixie a normal invitation, you know."

Pinkie giggled. "Yea, but then it wouldn't be a SURPRISE party!" She blew on one of those fold-out party horn things, the edge dancing centimeters from Trixie's snout. "I heard you were a magician and magicians do magic, but not like normal unicorn magic or we'd call everypony with a horn a magician and then they'd technically have a job the moment they were born and never have a chance to earn their cutie marks, not to mention the illegal foal labor that would create in the entertainment industry!" She paused to take a breath, then immediately started up again. "So, I figured if you do the other kind of magic, you probably do a lot of stuff that relies on surprise, which rhymes!" She began pronking in place. "Ooh! That surprised me just now, do you think-"

"Wait," Trixie interrupted, not paying any mind to whether or not it mattered that the foals having told her it was a party before she arrived kind of undermined the 'surprise' part, an eyebrow raised, "you never actually saw Trixie's performance?"

She giggled some more. It was like this pony was ticklish to words. "Nope! Maybe you could do some tricks for us, though? I mean, a lot of ponies have party tricks and you do tricks for a living, so I figure you've gotta have the trickiest party tricks for party-tricking that ever tricked a party! It's even right there in your name, so I thought I might bring out the Welcome Wagon, but you already have a wagon, whether or not it's for welcome depending whether you let ponies in often."

Trixie tried to get a word in edge-wise, if only to stop the onslaught of inanity for a few seconds, but was quickly washed away by the start of another wave.

"Actually, since you're the one traveling, would it be a reverse welcome-wagon? Not necessarily a goodbye-wagon, just a hey-here-I-am-at-a-new-place wagon, which calls for welcome. HEY, maybe it is a welcome wagon after all! Is that on purpose? Because if so it's a great trick! I don't know if it's as funny at parties, but we're at a party right now and I think it's pretty funny, so-"

"Uhm, P-Pinkie?" A yellow pegasus interrupted.

OH, THANK CELESTIA, thought Trixie, I thought I was going to have to shut her up myself! She couldn't think how, apart from perhaps making her mouth disappear somehow.

Pinkie turned to her, grin no less vibrant. "Hey, Fluttershy! Do you know any good wagon tricks?"

Fluttershy's face faded slightly in her own mane. "N-no... I-I wanted to ask if you've seen the girls, weren't they supposed to be here too?"

Her mouth formed a little "o" before she nodded twice. "Righty-tighty, Flutter-butter! Those three helped out a lot with this party, so it's only fair they should get to enjoy it too! I'll go look for 'em!" And with that, she pronked around the room, eyes quickly scanning every which way before she hopped straight over Trixie's head, -hat and all- and out the door.

Fluttershy was silently proud of herself. There, social interaction initiated by me, and it only took a minute to be noticed that time! Guess that means I can go home and-

"So," Trixie stated in Fluttershy's direction, breaking her out of her thoughts, "this is all to celebrate Trixie's greatness?" She scratched the back of her head, eyes mostly obscured under the rim of her hat when she did. "Trixie was, uh, distracted when the host explained things." Distracted trying to hold onto her sanity, but no need to say as much.

Paralyzed with indecision for a few seconds as to whether to do her best to answer the question or flee out the nearest window, Fluttershy steeled herself. Today she would be brave! "W-well," she whispered, bravely, "Pinkie's parties are kindof a regular thing, everypony usually enjoys them, s-so-"

Trixie grinned a little, a plan forming in her head. "Everypony? Every resident of Ponyville?"

"Uhm... Y-yes...?"

"Perfect, thank you." She trotted towards a nearby table for a drink. All she had to do was wait and Prince Blueblood would most likely show up here! And if not, she could do with a rest, and she knew where he lived anyway. Perfect plan! Walking past three ponies of no readily apparent importance, Trixie paid no attention to their conversation.

"Wait," Rose said, ears directed at her pink friend, "what were they saying?"

Lily shrugged lightly. "I-I'm not really sure, I could only hear a little of the conversation, but it sounded like they were discussing, uhm..." The color of Lily's fur usually went a long way towards hiding a blush, for which she was very much thankful. "F-fillyfriends?"

"Oooh?" Daisy cooed, grinning. "Details!"

"W-well... I heard something like 'Didn't you-something-her-something once?' and he shouted back 'of course!'"

Rose and Daisy had a rare moment of reacting the same way, eyes wide and faces reddening, even speaking in unison. "Oh, my!"

Lily couldn't help taking this as some kind of error on her part, quickly backpedaling. "I-I mean, I might have heard wrong, it was hard to tell with them going so fast, I don't-"

"Wait," Daisy said, holding up a hoof, "you said this was maybe ten minutes ago, I thought you were busy taking care of some business before the party?"

"Uh-"

"Yea," Rose chimed in, "you told us to go on ahead and that you'd catch up. What were you doing?"

'Watching him' would have been exactly the wrong thing to say. "I-I-"

Daisy's eyes twinkled. "I think I can guess~!"

"I WASN'T-"

Rose tilted her head a little, looking at Daisy. "What?"

"Strudel."

"Strudel?"

Daisy nodded, Lily's sense of impending humiliation fading. "Strudel. She was probably picking one up on the way here." She winked once at Lily. "You've taken a shine to certain apple pastries recently, right?"

Once again, she was grateful for her fur color. "R-right."

Meanwhile, Trixie stood staring at a certain item on the snack table, quietly wondering if it was staring back at her. What is the apple-lobster thing doing here?! She quickly glanced about the room, for some reason not wanting to look away from it for too long, and noticed nopony else seemed bothered by the irrational arrangement of sliced apples. Even seeing that, it didn't creep her out any less.

"You're allowed to have a slice, you know. Several, even."

It should be noted now that the Great and Powerful Trixie fears nothing, not even voices from behind her while being stared at by bizarre creatures made of chopped up fruit, and as such would not jump in fright, emitting a quiet, high-pitched squeak if such a thing were to occur. That is all.

The speaker chuckled. "My apologies if I startled you darling, but I'm faintly familiar with the feeling of not wanting to dismantle edible artwork, to have one's cake or eat it, no?" Her voice turned faintly wistful. "My little sister helped to assemble the apple-slice crustacean and I just haven't the will to undo her efforts, you know?"

Turning to face her, Trixie couldn't help staring for just a few, scant seconds at her incredibly curly, shiny, purple mane. Not that she was the least bit jealous. At all. "Right. And you are?"

"Rarity, and may I say that's an interesting ensemble? I wouldn't normally suggest baby blue and cream yellow on medium purple, but it projects the visage of the night sky rather nicely."

Trixie blinked slowly.

She kept a friendly smile. "I like your wardrobe."

"Oh! Yes," Trixie grinned, one hoof and her snout raised in equal proportion in a haughty pose, "Trixie's fashion sense is second to none!" Nor was her ability to find outfits suitable for a starting stage magician in bargain bins, but there was no need to say that.

With her own closed, it was hard to notice the gleam in Rarity's eyes. "So I see! I've heard about a spell of yours that transmogrified your attire into a wedding dress, as well?" She continued before Trixie could reply. "An outstanding application of magic, to be sure, but I can't help feel it misses something..."

Trixie looked at her with a challenging eyebrow raised, feeling the faintest hint of an insult in that last part. "What?"

Rarity kept smiling, her tone gentle, but firm. "A wedding dress is to be worn on the happiest day of a mare's life, is it not? A day you would wish to remember forever?" The reply was a slow, uncertain nod. "And it would be difficult to reminisce with a dress that no longer exists, don't you think?"

Trixie hadn't really thought that far ahead. "W-well, it-"

Rarity grinned a little wider, tone almost melodious. "As it happens..." She levitated a glass by the punch bowl and filled it to appear nonchalant. "I head the local business of style and good taste; Carousel Boutique! I'm sure I could make you a dress like no other, perhaps even a charming suit for the groom as well!"

Trixie beamed, all of this sounded more befittingly extravagant than the ~~simple~~ very Great and Powerful illusion of a wedding dress. She imagined that Prince could cover the expenses once they'd set a date, being the world's most magical unicorn had surprisingly modest pay in the form of bits thrown during and after shows.

Internally giddy at the prospect of her newest sale, and for a wedding, at that! Rarity maintained a calm exterior, taking a drink from her glass to hide an over-eager smile. These things were usually best followed with small talk, so as not to appear as some bit-hungry fashion shark. "So," she ventured, "how did you meet the lucky colt?"

She regaled Rarity with her fond memories of the night they met, but for some reason the fashionista did a spit-take when she got to the part where they shared their names. This caught the attention of three other mares, who had been discussing Prince and another colt just minutes before. She forced a grin, an eye twitching once. "I-I'm sorry darling, what did you say his name was...?"

Trixie grinned, all too pleased to recite it again. "Trixie's Future Husband, The Pony With Amazing Azure Eyes, Alabaster Angel of Canterlot, Most Eligible Bachelor in-"

Rarity managed to keep a slightly creepy grin, speaking through gritted teeth. "Prince Blueblood?"

Why doesn't anypony let me finish my list of titles? I work hard on those, darnit! "Yes, him."

Rarity's voice grew colder than the punch, and it looked uncannily like she was glaring for some reason. "Please excuse me..."

And then she walked off. Trixie shrugged, she had made a friend! Maybe Pinkie Pie's idea was working after all. As if to reinforce her thoughts, three more ponies approached.

"Hey," Rose began, "We saw Rarity storm off a second ago, what were you two talking about?" Daisy and Lily stood at her sides, looking quietly inquisitive.

Levitating a punch glass that wasn't part of a high-velocity-mouth-liquid comedy routine, Trixie chuckled with delight. "Trixie and the local seamstress were discussing a marvelous wedding dress for the official ceremony!" Taking a sip, it occurred to her in that instant that she would likely need flower ponies, and these three seemed just the sort... "Say, how would you three like to hear how Trixie came to be a future princess?"

The three nodded for varying reasons between the three of them, from wanting to know exactly where that relationship stood to genuine curiosity.

Author's Note

Silly Shiny, Demagify was for magic!

Trixie might be crazy enough to think being chained to her object of affection is a good thing, but she'd almost certainly change her mind eventually. However, Prince doesn't know that.

Chapter 6: Flashback!

It had been a few days since Little Trixie had seen the first pony to really cheer for her. Not praise, not congratulate on pulling off higher-level spells, but really applaud. Embarrassing as it had initially been, she loved every second of it, feeling like she had actually done something more than worthy of the prestigious school she found herself in not long after one of the Princess' aides found her manipulating a rain cloud (she really just wanted some shade and perhaps a little snow) in town one hot afternoon. Since then, however, she occasionally had trouble concentrating on things. Apart from magic, of course!

Glancing backward at her flank, wand-and-crescent cutie mark as prominent as ever, Trixie smiled. He liked my magic, and magic is pretty much my special talent! Still, as she sat at her desk, things like True/False and Fill In The Blank answer sheets for Draconequus Arcane Theory seemed harder and harder to focus on, or even take seriously. She still got all of her work done, of course, but her thoughts were peppered with what she would do if she ran into Prince Blueblood again. She couldn't just do the same thing twice, could she? How impressive would it be the second time? She needed to think of something bigger, more impressive!

She smacked her head against the desk. What she'd unintentionally shown him had been the most complicated thing she'd ever pulled off, and that was the only time she'd ever been able to do it. Granted, I haven't really tried doing it again since then, but-

"Trixie? Is everything alright?"

She very quickly sat straight up, eyes darting about to see Princess Celestia, and all of her classmates, staring straight at her. She flushed, smiling sheepishly. "Y-yes, sorry, please continue."

The princess nodded. "Assessments are coming up soon, so please make sure you're getting enough sleep. Ideally not in class."

Trying to ignore the quiet giggles, she managed to concentrate on her work until classes let out for the day. Trotting out of the building, she began to form a plan; she'd find that colt, follow him around in secret, find out what sort of things he enjoyed, and incorporate that into a display of magic!

The lone colt sitting under the tree closest to the spot he'd seen Trixie Lulamoon sighed. She hadn't been here yesterday, nor the day before that. Or, night before that? Yesternight? When he stumbled across her doing really cool stuff, it was kind of right on the borderline of night and day, what did you call those? He bet his aunt's new favorite would know, she was supposed to be pretty smart. Whatever her name was.

Anyway, it was definitely night now with no sign of the best magic-using pony he'd ever seen. It was just as he was standing up to leave that he heard a panicked cry and the rustling of leaves from the branches above. Quickly looking upward, he saw none other than Trixie, floating upside down! He grinned. "Wow, you can fly!"

Trixie, guessing that he just hadn't noticed her tail snagged on a branch, nor that she'd been watching him for over twenty minutes, quickly forced a smile. "Y-yes. this is exactly what I meant to do here! Floating! Like this!" She glanced down, or up in this case, towards the grass, trying not to think about landing face-first as the blood rushed to her head. "...Upside down."

"Wow," he said with quiet reverence, "I bet you really are the most magical unicorn in Equestria!"

She again felt that wonderful stirring feeling in her chest... As well as increasingly extreme vertigo, but mostly the chest thing, and giggled. "Thank you!" Her horn lit up, this would be the first time she'd cast spells upside down, but no time like the present! She focused on a spot in front of her that she was sure her audience of one would be able to see, closing her eyes as she pictured the outcome of the spell. The immediate effect was an increased awareness that she was hanging upside down with blood rushing to her head. Blushing both for feeling silly and the aforementioned relocation of bodily fluids, she concentrated, a few sparks flying from her horn as Prince waited below, eyes wide with wonder.

Trixie's eyes opened. "Tadaaaa!"

Her only fan blinked, confused. "Um... Nothing happened."

She smirked, trying her hardest to shake off the dizziness. "Oh, really?" With a flick of her horn, a pyramidal prism of shimmering light, like a metallic object on which one could see the shining luster of each side at once, hovered in place. Moonlight glinting off it's every angle in a tiny, fluorescent festival, Prince's smile widened in direct proportion to his amazed eyes.

"Woooow! It's so pretty!" Stamping his hooves in applause, he caught sight of the moon, realizing he should probably turn in soon. Prince smiled somewhat regretfully. "I have to go now, but it was nice seeing you again." He trotted off. "So long, Trixie!"

She waved goodbye as the magical illusion faded, aware only too late that the motion moved her body just enough to loosen her tail from the tree. One relatively painful impact with soft-but-not-soft-enough grass later, Trixie immediately wanted to see him again, to be told that she was the most amazing mage he'd ever seen, to see those sky-blue eyes locked on her with awe some more... Finding him here had been easy enough, even without the hoofstep-tracing spell she'd spent around an hour figuring out in the library. It had a limited range and wasn't much good if more than one set of hoofprints were detected by the spell, but she had figured it would help find the only other pony she'd seen here in the garden.

Getting to her hooves, Trixie grinned with delight as an idea struck, using the spell on Blueblood's fresh hoofprints and immediately being rewarded with a faint glow where he had stepped. Bingo! Closely following the tracks, it wasn't long before she impacted horn-first with a large door.

"You got some business in the palace, little lady?"

She looked up to see a royal guard standing by the door, eyebrow raised. She smiled, striking the traditional cute-little-filly pose. "Hi there, I'd like to see a friend of mine in the castle, could you let me in pleeeease?"

Well, that hadn't worked.

Luckily, she was able to manipulate two boxes, a long piece of cloth, and a shovel in her magic to form a staircase-tightrope hybrid that she could reach an open window with, only two floors up! Gently lowering the objects back down where she found them before hopping off the window sill, Trixie took a quick look around. Not seeing anypony else in the hallway at the moment, she tip-hoofed into a nearby broom closet, keeping the door cracked just enough to peer out. Not hearing any movement, she cast the hoofprint spell again. As the only reaction were faint little circles of light on the floor, she guessed that nopony had been by recently, and thus there was likely no patrol here.

Carefully peeking her head out of her hiding place, Trixie peered about for ponies that might see her just in case before slinking quickly to a pedastal down the hall, moving behind and leaning up against it to stay in the shadows. She spent about a minute listening for hoofsteps or shuffling of armored plating as she fought down the giddiness that came with sneaking into the royal palace, feeling like a grade-A ninja.

Through a slow, careful process of moving from hiding place to hiding place, keeping an ear out for incoming guards, and a bit of dumb luck, Trixie eventually found the door marked 'Prince Blueblood'. Sloooowly opening the door, she looked in to see the colt she'd spent the past hour looking for asleep on his bed. She entered as quickly and quietly as she could, closing the door behind her in the same fashion. Trotting towards the bed, she smiled. There you are~! She opened her mouth to say hello and wake him up, but he looked so peaceful that she instead settled for gingerly climbing up onto the bed, resting on her legs, and staring at him as he slept.

She spent the next while reminiscing about their past two interactions, tender feelings bringing speed to her heartbeat and warmth to her face. You called me the 'best magic pony in the whole world', 'the most magical unicorn in Equestria'... She liked those titles, very much. As she dreampt about hearing more of them, of being near this colt every day of her life, those dreams became literal when she drifted off to sleep next to him.

The next morning, Prince awoke with something of a start, seeing Trixie lying next to him on the bed the moment he opened his eyes. "W-what are you doing in here?!"

Trixie, roused by the ruckus, sat up, eyes still bleary as she looked around. She was cute when she yawned, he noticed. "Oh, hi," she said a little too calmly, a little grin on her sleepy features, "how are you?"

He glanced around the room, not sure how to answer. "I'm... fine?"

She giggled, patting his head. "You sure are, mister!" She hopped off the bed, moving toward the door. "I should probably head home now, seeya later!" Love of her life or not, she couldn't quite get away with skipping classes.

He sat there in a daze until it was time to start the day. ...What the hay was that about? Did she just appear in my bed? Is that how ponies are born?

In the hallway, Princess Celestia had come to wake Prince herself, finding a rare day in which she had time to do so. Instead, she watched, mouth agape, as Trixie, a young filly and one of her students, walked out of the bedroom of Blueblood, a young colt and her cute little nephew. Early in the morning. Is... Is THIS why she looked so tired in class?! There's no way... There's no way! She peeked into the room to find him sitting on his bed, mane messy with what she would later realize was standard bed-head.

He looked at her, eyes full of youthful innocence. "Hey Auntie, I think I might have figured out where babies come from!"

She fainted.

"Will you stop laughing?!" Prince stood flushed, glaring at the three friends that had joined him in the library as they went from barely-concealed giggles to rolling around on the floor.

Soarin seemed to be getting a lot of experience talking through gasps for breath today. "Y-you really got an early start, huh? They grow up so fast!"

"Nothing like that happened," he grumbled, "I didn't think anything of it when she popped out of a tree, but it only got worse from there..."

Sometimes a plan works too well. Sometimes you carefully construct a means by which to reach a goal, orchestrate the events that need to happen for it to work, and watch as things slip out from under you and go roaring in the direction you'd wanted, then 10 million miles too far. Luckily, this was not one of those times.

Still, making her way to the wing of the local library currently inhabited by Beatrix Lulamoon, if the librarian was to be believed, Celestia couldn't help feeling the misunderstanding that had been cleared up (with as much of her nephew's innocence preserved as possible) a little after she'd regained conciousness was her fault, and would make sure things didn't go quite where she thought they had gone. At least not until those two are older...

Walking up behind her, she saw the filly sitting at a table. "Hello Trixie, may I speak with you for a while?"

Trixie set down the book she'd been studying, Hiding Places and You; Anywhere You Can Fit by Withered Violets, in preparation for her next Prince-watching excursion and immediately sat up straight, whirling around, chair and all, to face the princess. "H-hello Princess Celestia, lovely day we're having!" She blinked, realizing how that might sound like sycophancy. "I-I mean, of course it is, as always, haha!" Changethesubjectchangethesubject! "How's the palace, nopony snuck in in the middle of the night, I hope?" Gah!

Celestia blinked once, slightly confused. Does she not remember walking right past me...? She made the mental note to worry about the castle's security being foiled by a lone foal later.

Trixie forced her widest grin, trying her best to look innocent. Sell it! Seeeellll iiiiiit!

The alicorn smiled gently. "You're not in trouble, Trixie, I just want to talk with you about my nephew." With nopony else around at the moment, I should be able to speak freely with her.

Trixie slowly tipped over, chair and all, neither her facial expression nor her posture changing in the slightest. "Really?"

"Really. How long have you two been meeting?"

The filly on the floor sat up, righting the chair as necessary, scratching the back of her head with a hoof. "W-well, you remember about a week ago when you told me the Royal Garden was a good place concentrate and get some fresh air?"

It is, which is why I told Prince exactly that quite some time before. She nodded, a patient smile on her face as though she didn't know where Trixie was going with this. "Yes?"

"A few days after that, I gave it a try." She smiled brightly. "You were right, I pulled off the most complicated spell I've ever done there!" Her grin grew bashful as her forehooves drew to her reddened cheeks. "And, while I was doing it, he saw me..."

Once Trixie shared the full tale, Celestia smiled a little wider. "I see. You've grown quite fond of him?" Trixie didn't speak, but the combination of hugging the book to her chest and concealing most of her face with it while giggling merrily seemed like answer enough. Now for the important part. "Have you told him that?"

She looked up, her face uncertain. "Huh? I, uh..." She worriedly chewed her lower lip for a few seconds, trying to remember if she'd said the words at all, let alone to him. "I... guess I could try that?

"That would be a good place to start, I think." In her head, Celestia laughed with maniacal glee, she could already picture the grandfoals!

When they were both older, that is...

The next day, Prince Blueblood was again free to roam the gardens, hesitating on whether or not that was a good idea when he got home from school later today as he walked down a palace hallway. He liked watching Trixie do her magic, but it seemed like she was getting... Weird. Casting spells all by herself when it was almost dark out? He couldn't think of a reason it was a bad idea, not like anypony's going to come that close to the palace hoping to abduct random foals. Casting them while hanging upside down from a tree? Odd. Apparently sneaking into his room in the middle of the night to sleep next to him? There had to be a reason Celestia looked so freaked out.

What would she do this time? Was it a coincidence that she did those things in ascending order of craziness? Would she-

"Hi, Blueblood!" Said a nearby potted plant.

"Hi, Trixie." He replied automatically, not even turning to look at her until a few seconds after the statement was delivered.

The leaves of the encased foilage popped up with a clump of soil resting on Trixie's head as she smiled. "So, what are you up to?"

His mouth opened and closed a few times, no intelligible response forthcoming.

"Same old, same old? Wake up, go to school, eventually go back to bed, repeat?"

Nodding numbly seemed as good a response as any as he tried to work out how and why she was hiding in a plant, or muster the will to ask.

She giggled. "Boring, but that's life sometimes." She hopped out of the pot, brushing residual dirt from her coat and levitating it back with the plant. "So," she said with a hint of a blush, "I was thinking I'd join you, we don't have the same classes, but we could walk there together, right?"

"Um..." He smiled somewhat hesitantly. "I guess?"

Trixie beamed.

"And then," Daisy interrupted, eyes sparkling, "you told him you loved him, which he reciprocated," she added a few dramatic hoof gestures, "and the two of you were inseparable until tragedy struck, you were separated, and you've finally reunited after all those years?"

"Had no idea you were such a romantic, Daisy," huffed a slightly agitated Rose.

She chuckled in response. "That's how these things go, isn't it?" The green-maned earth pony turned to Trixie with an innocent smile. "I mean, you both said you loved eachother, right?"

"A-actually," Trixie replied sheepishly, "He's, um, never really said it in those exact terms, but he's definitely said other things!"

Her audience of three, give or take a few ponies she didn't notice standing by, pretending to make conversation with eachother while listening in, leaned forward a little, eagerly waiting for more.

"You're really great with magic, Trixie!"

Rose raised an eyebrow. "That's a few leagues away from 'I love you', don't you think?" Lily nodded in agreement, if only subtly.

"Hey," Trixie countered, "it's really romantic in-context, trust me!"

And so they walked to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns together, neither aware of a few ponies smiling or internally squeeing at the sight of the two little foals, one gazing affectionately at the other, sparks literally flying from her horn as she did, while he occasionally smiled back, as they went. For young colts and fillies, it's very easy to take no notice of the world around them, doubly so when given something else to focus on.

In Trixie's case, that something was the colt she was expressing her love for in a variety of word choices.

In Prince's case, that something was the filly spewing random magical lights from her horn every couple of steps, like she had an overflowing fireworks factory in her head. The dazzling hues and ethereal shapes were as beautiful as they were hard to ignore, so he didn't really notice that Trixie had been talking to him the entire time until they reached the school foyer, where they'd have to part ways to get to their respective classes, and she stood looking at him. She was smiling widely, but expectantly, as though she really wanted him to say something, so, with a smile, he said the first thing that came to mind.

"You're really great at magic, Trixie!"

Those weren't the words Princess Celestia had mentioned yesterday, nor any of the fifteen sets of them Trixie had spoken on their way here, but to her, it felt exactly the same. Her heart pounding in her chest, smile widening to dentist-worrying proportions, Trixie threw her forelegs around the young Prince, who stood still in awkward surprise.

It was at that moment that the voice of the Ruler of Equestria was heard from behind him. "Hello, Nephew, how are you and your fillyfriend?"

He flushed, trying to turn to face his mischievous aunt before remembering the filly rooting him in place. "Sh-she's not my fillyfriend!"

Trixie, forelegs still wrapped around his neck, was a much more happy kind of embarrassed. Aww, he's shy! She nuzzled his face with her own before breaking the embrace, quickly whispering into his ear. "I have to go to class now, but I'll see you later~!" Trotting away, she quickly looked over her shoulder, blew a kiss, and headed off, leaving a rapidly reddening Blueblood and an increasingly amused Celestia behind her.

The latter leaned down, her voice soft. "So, should I arrange the wedding now, or-"

His voiced cracked a little. "AUNTIE!!"

"Uhm, this is very impressive," said Inkwell, who had seen far stranger things in her day than a filly performing the spell that currently had most of her class floating a few inches off the floor, "but I only asked you to levitate the bowling ball."

Trixie, beaming, felt like she could have done much more, the last thing Blueblood said to her spinning in her mind.

You're really great at magic, Trixie!

"Eh, hello?" The aging teacher tried to get a good look at the slightly over-enthusiastic caster with her good eye. "You can put us all down now."

Though feeling no urge to, Trixie complied, grinning triumphantly as her classmates happily reunited with the ground. "How was that?!"

Inkwell looked back and forth between her one overjoyed student and the slightly unsettled ones. She had been doing this long enough to know that you should encourage talent. Or was it healthy appetites? Foals needed their nutrition and all that, but it was hard to remember sometimes. Her age must have been catching up to her... Regardless, she nodded to Trixie. "Really good levitation there, Missy, right class?"

The others applauded, some more hesitantly than others, but to Trixie it was all the same. They like me! He was right, I am great at magic! She wanted more, more spells, more applause, more cuddles with Prince, more of a lot of things! And she'd get them, she'd show everypony she could how great she could be!

And she'd start by showing Prince Blueblood.

"And that's how I hid under that floor tile!"

The young Prince, his back against a wall and still trying to fend off a heart attack, could only stare in silence at the beaming filly that had popped out from under a perfectly flat slab of pavement. It was a pity he was still scared out of his wits for the first half of her explanation, because he kindof wanted to know how that worked now.

Trixie's ear-to-ear smile faded to a normal grin as she noticed that he didn't look all that impressed this time... What had she done wrong? "Well, I have to go now, see you later!" Quickly waving a hoof and trotting off, she figured it was just as well that she regroup for now, she'd had to wait under that tile about forty minutes longer than planned and it was just about dinner time.

Watching her go, Prince opted to move along as well. To whatever he had been doing before. What had that been again? One thing's for sure, he thought, she's definitely getting weirder...

Leafing through the notebook she had put together with all the important tips she could find in a dozen spell books, how-to guides, and a few various manuals, Trixie slapped a hoof to her forehead. "Of course," she muttered from under her bed, "never reveal your secrets! That's why he didn't look amazed!" She wouldn't repeat that mistake again, next time she'd be all about the performance, and dazzle him right off his hooves!

"I-I told you before, Trixie, coming in here is tres-"

"It's only trespassing if you enter a stranger's home, silly!" She had just climbed in through a window this time, calling out to him before she entered so he could see the broom she was gracefully balanced on and had levitated up to his windowsill before jumping in, leaning the broom against a wall, and posing nonchalantly.

Prince couldn't decide whether it was good or bad that, for what must have been at least the fourth time she'd come to his room late in the day, he was starting to get less uncomfortable when it happened. It was, of course, easier to deal with than when she popped up in the bathroom, as he was starting to work out a system. "What," he asked as patiently as he could, doing his best to keep the slow-building panic out of his voice, "do you want, Trixie?"

"I've got a new trick to show you!"

The garden was the first place he'd met Trixie, so it seemed unlikely that he'd be able to avoid her here, but he was increasingly sure that nowhere in the castle was safe.

"You really go all over the place, huh Blueblood?"

He wasn't startled by her voice this time, but he was startled by her popping out of a rose bush, not a scratch on her, perplexingly, with one of the lush flowers in her teeth. She giggled, giving him an affectionate smile as she tucked the rose into his mane. "It's so nice that you take me places, I guess that's what your cutie mark stands for?" She nuzzled his face tenderly, her voice quiet. "I'm always wondering where we'll end up next~!"

He could only mutter nervously.

"Fifty-eight knots, two square meters of space, soft as silk and sturdy as stone!" She touched a hoof to her chin, face contemplative. "Probably." Her enthusiastic grin returned. "What do you think?!"

Prince wriggled a bit on the ground, not sure what she'd expected him to say. "It's... a very, um... nice, net?"

She giggled. "It's a love net! See the holes?"

Holding what he could of it away from his face, Prince could see that the rope was woven into a net of hearts. Somewhat triangular ones, but hearts none-the-less. He couldn't decide whether he should be more impressed or terrified. "Can you please let me go now?"

Trixie gently patted his head, smiling peacefully. "Only if you don't run away again. Really, I know you're an active, athletic colt, but it's so hard to keep a conversation going when sprinting through the town!"

The second one. Definitely the second one.

"It's really cold tonight, huh?"

"...Trixie, I'm almost sure sneaking into the palace at night is trespassing."

Cuddling slightly closer to him under the blanket, she giggled. "Nonsense, it's not trespassing when it's so cold outside that you can see your breath, right?"

"Um-"

"If it were, who knows how many ponies might freeze?" He might have found her smile cute if not for the last few weeks. "My house was too far away by the time it got really chilly, so this is a completely legal matter of survival!"

Trying to ignore the weird feeling of somepony else's body heat in his bed, he maintained as much of his resolve as possible. "No, really, I talked to Auntie about it and-"

"Would Princess Celestia approve of ponies freezing their tails off?"

"W-well, no, but-"

Trixie grinned wider, nuzzling him. "Then thaaaat settles it!"

Prince sighed, he had been so sure this time...

Left turn! Strafe! Duck under the canopy! Turn right! Keep running!

Havetokeepgoinghavetokeepgoing!

Climb the boxes! Jump the fence! Turn right again! Cross the bridge while keeping low!

I'll try rolling this time!

There was no time to slow down, no time to turn and see if she was still behind him, because the moment he did would be the moment he'd see that insane, grinning face, trip over something, and end up pinned down again! He'd run, run until he could be sure he'd be alone for a while, or at least not near her!

Through the alley! Left turn! Run on the wall!

That didn't work.

Get up! Keep running! Behind the shop! Turn ri-

The next thing Prince knew, something had caught him, like a thick, soft cord being pressed just under his neck, slowing him to a stop before flinging him backwards with the same force with which he'd run into it. In mid-air, it looked like a giant rubber band. His head stopped ringing shortly after he landed, lying on his back, but he didn't dare open his eyes because-

"Heeheehee! You know, you might make a good alicorn someday, you flew at least twenty meters!"

Somehow, just this once, he had hoped that not seeing her wouldn't let her appear. Hesitantly looking at her, standing above him and cheerful as ever, he pointed a hoof in the direction he'd been flung from. "How?"

She giggled. "I worked out an algorithm to figure out where you'd go on your afternoon jog and set up that rubber band to catch you! Sorry to interrupt your exercise, but I figured once you opted not to climb up to the city walls again the roof of the hat shop was probably out, you know?"

He was just about sure of it now, there was no escape, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. He sighed to himself, maybe Auntie Celestia would know what to do, if he could get a minute to talk to her?

A slightly tattered notebook impacted a nearby wall in Trixie's room as she suppressed a scream of fury. She was better with her magic than ever, yet fewer and fewer ponies, her classmates, instructors, and even Blueblood, looked impressed anymore when she performed spells for them! Flipping through her notes on a nightly basis, reviewing and even amending some sections over and over, she was sure she had been doing everything right, so why wasn't anypony happy to see her do what she did best?

I'm losing him, she thought, he hasn't cheered or praised me in forever, but I've only gotten better since I started! Is there another magical filly...? Taking a full minute to contemplate it, she shook her little head. No, if there were another unicorn as talented as me, I'd have seen him watching her, we're almost never apart, after all!

She paced her bedroom for almost an hour, desperately wracking her brain for answers. When she stopped, both because her hooves were getting tired and because she was struck with a thought that had never occurred to her before, she couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry.

"I'm not good enough," she uttered, "he wants something more..." Somewhere in the time they met, he must have changed his standards, expecting Trixie to get-well, hadn't he called her the best magic pony in the whole world? He had, in exactly those words as Trixie regularly reminisced! That was what he wanted, and she was just doing the same old - though still perfectly magnificent!- spells all the time. She had to be better, to really be the most powerful unicorn there ever was, to be so great she could raise the sun and the moon! At the same time!

But she'd never learn to do that in Canterlot, both because there's only so much studying can do, and because she'd inevitably get distracted following Blueblood around instead of what she'd really meant to be doing, as her grades were starting to show. She'd have to leave town, set out on her own and become the greatest, most powerful unicorn the world had ever seen!

And that meant leaving him behind.

Looking around her room, there was little here that meant much to her anyway. Her classmates, her home, her family, it might be many years before she saw them again. As she packed a bag, Trixie decided that didn't bother her, because the most important pony in the world to her would be waiting for her at the end of it all, and when she saw him again, she'd be ready to make him hers.

There was just one last thing to do.

Negligent. Celestia had been negligent, and now that she was walking to the last place Trixie had been seen, the gardens, she knew to what extent. Inkwell had mentioned Trixie was proving boastful in class more and more often, but it sounded like a step forward for the formerly shy filly. Rare was the day that anypony acted out even a little when she herself was in charge of a classroom, so she supposed she must have missed it. Blueblood complained about her every now and then, but she thought he'd just been embarrassed, as colts are wont to be when shown affection.

Sneaking into the castle regularly? Chasing him around town? Lying in wait for him in places she'd worked out he'd go to? If they had been older, these might have even been criminal offenses, depending on the circumstances, most of all the first one, and those were just the ones Blueblood had shared off the top of his head. In hindsight, I probably should have let him keep talking, but I have enough to go on now.

It wasn't too late to straighten everything out, maybe even keep a chance of the romance she'd hoped would blossom between the two foals if she played her cards right, she just needed to talk to Trixie again. Maybe she could steer her towards a lifestyle supportive of both her interests, magic and Prince, respectively? Twilight could always use another friend, I'll bet they would get along well...

As she stepped out onto the grass, guards at the doors hastily saluting, she asked them if either had seen a little blue filly recently. A minute later, she found Blueblood sitting by himself where the guards had pointed her, staring off into the distance.

"Blueblood? Where is Trixie?"

He didn't turn to look at her. "That's... a good question, Auntie."

"What?"

He shrugged a little, his voice soft. "She said she was going away somewhere, that she'd be the greatest, most powerful pony in the world. And..."

Celestia regarded him with a concerned frown. "Yes?" She went to him, of course she did! She suppressed the urge to swear, if she'd just waited by Blueblood a little longer, Trixie would have come on her own!

Now he looked her in the eye, his face the picture of somepony walking through a graveyard alone that just heard a voice behind them. "She said 'I'll be back for you!'"

The young Prince would live in fear after that day, at least for a little while. As the years wore on, he managed to worry less and less about the crazy filly that followed him under tables and in bathrooms until he almost forgot about her entirely. Celestia, for her part, did all that she could to find Trixie, but to no avail. Her parents had no idea she'd even departed, (and seemed more concerned about a missing bag of bits when they were told) and nopony in the city saw hide nor tail of her after that night, vanished without a trace.

Quite a few of the listeners that had gathered around Trixie in Sugarcube Corner were practically holding their breath, including Pinkie Pie and the three fillies that first abducted the showmare.

"So," an anonymous voice from the crowd asked, "why do you call yourself great and powerful?"

She struck a haughty pose. "Because the Great and Powerful Trixie is Great and Powerful, of course!"

Nearly all present took that to mean it was just something she came up with one day and decided to make a title of.

Pinkie smiled, waving her forehooves enthusiastically. "Well, it was a great story anyway! I'm almost sad Bluie and his friends missed it, but they can hear it when you tell them yourself, so I'm not so sad!" Her smile vanished. "Oh, shoot, I should have invited them all while they were together! Well, actually, I don't think they're all together right now, they've been doing the 'let's split up, gang!' thing a lot lately, it's getting kinda rare that they're all in the same room! I think all six showed up to the big charity race a little while back, but that was outside, so I don't think it counts. I guess you could just tell the story to all of them one by one?" She beamed, pronking in place. "Ooh! You should only tell all of them certain parts so they have to piece it together like a story jigsaw-puzzle, that'd be a great trick!"

Starting to get a feel for how to deal with Pinkie Pie, Trixie tried a friendly smile as she opted to play along. "Yes, Trixie should do... that. But first, Trixie needs to find him again, so if anypony knows where he is...?"

Scootaloo spoke up, angrily shaking a hoof. "He was right next to that evil son-of-a-"

She was cut off by Sweetie Belle, who smiled innocently as she put a hoof over the mouth of her vindictive friend. "He was in the library with Mr. Shining Armor, Mr. Doctor, and Mr. Soarin."

Paydirt! "At the library, you say? Well, Trixie is pleased to have regaled you all with her story, but she must return to her task and, uh-" she glanced at Pinkie, who hadn't stopped jumping up and down, "regale it... again?" She stood on her hind hooves before crying out "Farewell!" and vanishing in a puff of purple smoke.

In the ensuing coughing fits by those forced to breathe magic smoke indoors, where it dispersed much more slowly, nopony noticed a loud impact by the door or the mark on the frame vaguely similar to the shape of a unicorn's forehead when the room was clear again.

Chapter 7: Tactical Retreat!

"So," Prince summed up, "after that last meeting, I'd eventually grown to think I'd never have to worry about her again, which brings us to the present day." He looked over his friends in the library. "Any ideas?"

"Hmm," hmm'd Doctor, "well, now that we know Trixie's obsession is born of affection gained through simple gestures and can infer from her behavior a long-suffered loneliness, a thrill of new-found power, and perhaps a sense of detachment from everypony besides you, I think..."

Prince, Shining, and Soarin all leaned in a little closer in anticipation.

He beamed his most cheerful smile. "You're pretty much boned."

Ignoring the sound of Soarin's snickering, Prince spoke through gritted teeth. "Thank you so much for your helpful insight."

Doctor chuckled. "Well, there's a bit more to it than that, but I think 'boned'-" Soarin broke into mad giggling, "-is the long and short of it."

Shining took a step forward. "I think what he means is that while there might be something we can use from that story, it takes time to digest the information, y'know?" He brushed a hoof against his chin in thought. "Getting praised gets her attention and makes her stick around, not getting praised makes her stick around to try harder and harder to get it..."

Blueblood gave a hopeful look. "Isn't there any way to repel a pony like that?" He had considered just acting like his old self for a while, but he wasn't willing to sink quite that low again. Part of it was to avoid the risk of needing to apologize to the entire town, minus one marshmallow, for a second time if things really got out of hoof.

"Maybe if she was ginger," offered Soarin, who remembered a thought from earlier in the day. "...Are we sure she doesn't dye her mane?"

The noblepony adapted a contemplative look. "You know, it's never really occurred to me to ask. For some reason I was always hung up on questions like 'How did you find me here?' or, 'What are you doing with that net,' or-" The sarcasm was clear in his voice now. "-and this one was something of a favorite, 'Will you please let me out of this net?!'"

Soarin blinked once. "You asked what she was doing with the net every time?"

Blueblood groaned, face-hoofing harder than he had in recent weeks. "Alright," he uttered, "I'm going to try Big Macintosh again. His idea almost worked, as I recall."

As he headed toward the door, Doctor spoke up. "Is there a plan if he doesn't have any more ideas either?"

Opening the library door, he shrugged. "Well, if that's the case, I guess I'd be bon-" he trailed off, jumped backward, and slammed the door, looking at his friends with wide-eyed panic, voice a loud whisper. "She's coming!!"

"What should we-"

Shining was cut off by Blueblood running behind the bookcase-compartment again. "Anything, stall her, I don't-wait! Stand guard outside and tell her we're closed! I'll slip away when she leaves."

Not certain he could trust any part of this library until he knew how that hiding place came into being, Shining made a mental note to investigate later as he headed outside. As he did, Soarin whispered to Doctor. "Um, are we sure we should be letting Shining Armor deal with the aggressive, love-crazed filly?"

Doctor whispered back. "If it's in the context of guarding somewhere, I'm sure he'll do fine. What's the worst that can happ-"

Blueblood called from behind the bookcase. "Don't you dare finish that sentence!"

There, the library, Blueblood almost certainly inside. As Trixie approached, one of her future husband's friends came out and stood still as though guarding a post. One of his friends defends a library for a living? It probably made more sense to think he was there to guard the royal who lived there. Not that books weren't worth defending too, but...

She shook her head lightly, with him standing right at the door, climbing in the window again probably wouldn't be a good idea. No problem, she would just approach normally and ask to be let in.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie seeks entrance to the library!"

"I'm sorry, Miss, bu-"

"You're sorry, Great and Powerful Trixie!"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, great and powerful Trixie, but-"

She grinned smugly. "Thank you."

"...But I can't let you pass."

The smile was gone. "And whyever not?! Trixie's destined special somepony is in that library, so-"

Shining Armor puffed out his chest just slightly, the law was on his side this time! "Madam, the library is currently closed, if you attempt to enter you will be charged with breaking and, uh... Entering!" Of course, it was supposed to be on my side a few times before...

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, the cape billowing behind her making her look all the more fearsome. "Fine," she replied icily, "Trixie will wait here until it opens."

And then came the silence. The long, quiet silence. The long, quiet silence that mostly comprised of her staring straight at him. Not saying a word. Yes, an awkward silence. It had to be broken!

"Ssssooo, lovely weather we're-"

"Is the library open yet?"

Quiet: 1, Shining Armor: 0

"...What kind of book would you-"

"How about now?"

He shook his head. "What do you really want with Blueblood, anyway?"

Her face lit up, a welcome change from the increasingly cold death-glare she had been pouring on, non-stop. "Prince Blueblood, Master of Teleportation, Trixie's Future Husband, The Pony With Amazing Azure Eyes, Alabaster Angel of Canterlot, Most Eligible Bachelor in Equestria, Best-Groomed Fetlocks Trixie Has Ever Seen, Longest Horn On Anypony But-"

Shining interrupted her love of titles with a raised hoof, confused. "What does his horn have to do with anything?"

Trixie scowled at him for cutting her off so close to the end of the list, but obliged anyway. "A unicorn's horn is the symbol of their magical power, Prince Blueblood's horn is the longest on a mortal pony measured by acknowledged record keepers by a whole four centimeters, surely a testament to his arcane prowess."

Ignoring the condescension in her voice, he wondered if she knew Prince was the Element of Magic... "So... It's a magic thing, then?"

She blinked twice. "Of course, what else would it be?"

Quiet almost scored another point before Trixie started to blush.

"I-it's just a show of magical power, that's it!"

He nodded slowly in response, not seeing much of anything else to do with a horn. "Yyeeaaaa...?"

She reddened brighter as ponies started to gather 'round to see the Great and Flustered Trixie shouting at the pony guarding the library. "I don't have ANY weird intentions for his horn, alright?! It's only his magic I'm interested in!"

Blink.

"F-FROM HIS HORN, I MEAN! TRIXIE ISN'T A PERVERT!!"

Shining Armor did colt-scouts everywhere proud by being genuinely surprised. "P-PERVERT?!" He shouted just loudly enough to unintentionally draw even more spectators, "WHAT COULD YOU DO WITH HIS HORN THAT INVOLVES-?!"

Trixie's face was practically glowing now. "NO!! I-I have n-no idea what you would use it for, be-because I don't, I wouldn't...!" She quickly looked at the growing crowd of raised eyebrows and foals having hooves placed over their ears, pulled her hat over her face in shame, and *POOF!* vanished in a puff of purple smoke.

Those looking in the direction of her wagon at the time might have noticed a near-blind young mage briefly tripping, face-planting, and immediately getting up again to flee to her home/escape vehicle.

This left the crowd looking squarely at Shining Armor, a quiet, almost judging stare not unlike Trixie's had been. He squirmed quietly in the renewed awkward silence until a local, frizzy-maned filly, Twist, he was pretty sure her name was, tapped a hoof on his leg. "Hey Mishter, ish thuh library open now?"

Having helped the filly with the red, puffy mane find her book, (he had to do his job as the librarian, afterall) Blueblood left Shining, Doctor, and Soarin in charge of the library for a while before heading out to Sweet Apple Acres again. Here's hoping they don't accidentally turn the place into a casino or something in the twenty minutes I'm gone, He wasted no time in locating Big Macintosh for the second time that day.

"Hello again. Not that I mean to question ancient Apple family wisdom, but, err..."

Another tree was bucked clean. "It didn't work?"

He tried his hardest not to deadpan. "Nope."

Big Mac nodded, no plan was perfect. "Sorry to hear that. Why're ya so scared'a that filly, anyhow?"

Now he deadpanned. "The possessive gaze, the possibly illegal entries to places, the hiding under-"

The farmer chuckled. "Alright, so she ain't exactly romantic, but I think if ya two talked a few things out, ya might really be close."

Blueblood shook his head. "You didn't know her when she was younger."

The reply was calm, but firm. "I didn't know you when ya were younger, neither."

He blinked. "Erm-"

"Correct me if Ah'm wrong, but ya weren't always the nicest fella yerself, right?"

Given the difficulty of denying the massive understatement, he nodded.

Big Mac smiled. "Then we know ponies change. Have ya really given 'er a chance in the last few years?"

"I-I, well... No, but..." Fear and dread washed over him like cold rain when he found himself actually considering it. But then, hope! "But, she's just as insane as before, same crazy eyes, same obsessive pursuit, same-"

He moved to the next tree and gave it a swift kick. "Alright, she might be a little enthusiastic fer yer likin', but Ah reckon she's bound to calm down eventually. All Ah'm asking is ya give 'er a chance, ok?"

He nodded slowly. "Thank you for your time, Macintosh."

"Eeyup!"

Walking away, Blueblood couldn't shake the feeling that maybe it was actually worth a try. Nor the one that it would be third or fourth most unwise thing he'd ever done. He headed back to town with nary a clue of how to proceed. While he had meant it in primarily mocking tones when Doctor asked exactly that question, it appeared he was, indeed, 'boned' if he couldn't think of something soon.

He dared put real thought into the idea of just holding out, to letting Trixie be Trixie until she wore down enough to almost be normal. Reflecting on the story he'd shared in the library, he'd only told them the highlights of her madness, as weeks of daily Trixie could take hours to convey, but it never really got much worse than what he'd included. She never foalnapped him, never chained him to something in her basement, never drugged him, nor done a number of horrific things he'd heard of obsessive, psychotic types doing to their targets. All things considered, maybe she wasn't even that bad?

It was as he pondered whether or not Trixie seemed vaguely tame back then only because she had just been a filly and the more nightmarish forms of possessiveness simply hadn't occurred to her that Prince bumped into somepony. Snapping out of his mental meanderings, he looked up to see Ditzy, apparently knocked on her rear and looking up at him with a sheepish smile that made him wonder which of them had been paying less attention. He opted to apologize first just in case. "Sorry, are you alright?"

She stood, shaking off the dust. "Yup! So, what are you up to?"

"I'm..." He trailed off, not even sure how to answer. Wandering around at random? Hoping for a miracle? Feeling incredibly paranoid of every door, window, hatch, floorboard, patch of grass, and whatever else I come across that she could hide under? "Nothing, really."

Either Ditzy considered this good news or she was just feeling a little more cheerful than usual, because she smiled a little wider. "Great! Mind if I tag along?"

He swatted down the thought that he might be able to use her as a pony shield if he ran into Trixie again and shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

Ditzy suppressed the urge to skip with glee, both because that would be weird and it would be hard to keep pace with Prince, who was walking normally. This is perfect, I'll stick with him! That way, if I find Trixie again, I can just point next to me!

Wandering aimlessly, it wasn't long before the two of them spotted Shining, Soarin, and Doctor standing outside Trixie's wagon. Approaching, Prince kept his voice low so as to minimize risk of the showpony hearing him. "What's going on?"

Shining Armor turned to answer him. "Well, after locking up at the library, we decided to try just talking to Trixie, but she's kinda..." He glanced at the wagon. "We can't get her to come out."

Doctor's tone was oddly cheerful as ever. "Apparently she's a little embarrassed about a misunderstanding, the cause of which we can only guess," Shining pointedly looked away, face tinting red, "and now she's going hermit for a little while."

Soarin called out to Trixie. "Hey, Prince is here to see you!"

They heard a thump, followed by the wagon door slowly cracking open, the magician's face partly visible as she peered out at them. It looked like she had removed her hat and cape for the time being.

The local love guru smiled. "Don't worry about what other ponies might think, your urges involving his horn are completely natural and nothing to be asham-" He was cut off by Trixie turning bright red and slamming the door.

Everypony outside the wagon gave Soarin a flat stare, bar Prince, who just looked confused, as he sheepishly smiled back at them. "Heh heh... Oops?"

Ditzy gave it a try next. "Hi, Trixie! Can you come out, and talk to us? I found Blueblood for you!" Ignoring said noble's raised eyebrow, she took a few steps closer to the wagon and gave a friendly smile. "Pretty please?"

Trixie, no small part of her wanting to crawl into a hole and die, had settled for lying under her bed for the last minute or so. She had come to this town to claim her beloved, and so far? Only succeeded in making a fool of herself. Worst of all was that she knew exactly why things had gone wrong, it was the same as when she left Canterlot. As such, she really just wanted to sulk for a while, and while it was a rare instant in which she was content to completely ignore the attention of reasonably handsome stallions, Ditzy was... Well, Trixie owed her for the muffin earlier, and The Great and Powerful Trixie still did not like having debts, no matter how small. She gingerly crawled out from her hiding spot, carefully pushed open the door, and waited for the jeers and laughter.

When none came, she saw that Prince, Ditzy, that brown one, and the two that had tricked and humiliated her today were all standing in silence with not-particularly-judgmental stares. She stepped out to join them, still visibly on-guard, waiting for the first sign of a joke at her expense as she spoke quietly, trying not to let any venom into her voice as she answered Ditzy. "What is it you wanted?"

The mailmare kept a warm, friendly grin as she gestured to Blueblood, who stood somewhat awkwardly beside her. "You've been trying to get a chance to talk to him all day, right?"

The two spoke at once.

"We've alre-"
"We kindof-"

"Sorry, you-"
"Go ahea-"

"You can-"
"No, no, I-"

Silence. Everpony stood still, not saying a word as Trixie and Prince waited for the other to speak, not sure what to say themselves.

Shining, while quietly writhing in yet another awkward silence, didn't want to risk making it worse by saying something. He would try just waiting it out this time.

The noblepony starting to sweat and the magician starting to turn red, the former eventually spoke, having thought of something a normal, sensible pony might say in this situation. "S-so, how have you been?"

There wasn't a hint of her usual boisterous tone in the reply. "Trixie is fine, thank you for asking. You?"

He shrugged a little. "I'm pretty good here, it's a nice town for the most part."

She raised an eyebrow just slightly, part of her wondering why this thought didn't occur to her earlier. "Why are you living here now?" She glanced over her shoulder at the distant city on the side of the mountain. "Did something happen in Canterlot?"

There was a short, nervous laugh. "A l-lot of things happened." A similar sentiment sprung up in his own head. "Come to think of it, why did you leave the city? I didn't really understand what you meant that day."

A tiny smile was a huge relief for those standing by as Trixie half-heartedly struck a haughty pose. "Trixie had to expand her skills, to walk the earth and become a Great and Powerful unicorn!" She felt just confident enough to wink at him, prompting a light blush. "Was that your reason too?"

He blinked twice, feeling the tiniest increase in his heart-rate. "N-no, not quite-" he spoke without thinking, "I was punched in the face."

Trixie seemed to lose her footing for a split second, almost tripping over nothing. "I-I'm sorry, what?" Regaining awareness of what he was saying, Blueblood sputtered for a few seconds before she spoke again, looking at Ditzy. "Does... D-does that mean I DO have to hit him?"

He turned to Ditzy, who was lowering her head and smiling sheepishly. "You told her to assault me?!"

Trixie turned to Blueblood. "You don't like being assaulted?!"

He turned back to her. "Why would I like being assaulted?!"

Her face tinted red. "Trixie thought it was a kink!" A kink that had a very confusing context considering most of his closest friends had apparently hit him at some point.

Blinking rapidly, he turned to the first pony to punch him within memory. "T-that's what you meant when you said she would molest me?!"

So did Trixie. "You told him Trixie was some kind of random molester?!"

The beleaguered guard could only look back at them helplessly, sputtering for a few seconds before the weight of the misunderstanding held his mouth shut. The awkward! It burrrrrrrnsssss!! He looked to Ditzy for help, but she had buried her face in her forehooves, what little of it he could see beet red.

Doctor chimed in with a grin, nodding to the pair of annoyed unicorns. "Aren't they getting along swimmingly?"

It's not my fault, dammit, thought Shining Armor, I have to stay alert for that kind of thing, what if Twily were exposed to something too sexual?!

"Aaa-CHOO!!"

Twilight Sparkle raised her head slightly to peer over her book. "You ok, Moondancer?"

Moondancer rubbed her snout with a forehoof. "Yea..." She shook her head lightly. "Hope I'm not coming down with something."

Laying on her back, forehooves leisurely behind her head with a book floating over it, Sunset Shimmer snorted. "If you are, you probably picked it up from your last trip to a bar. I really hope you get checked every now and then."

Moondancer just smiled, batting her eyes. "Aww, I knew you cared about me!" Before objections, snarky comments, or both could be raised, she trotted over to the yellow unicorn and sloppily kissed her on the cheek.

"EUUGH!!" Sunset shuddered, the book she lost concentration on falling and bopping her on the head as she furiously wiped her cheek with a hoof. "Don't spread your STDs to me!!"

Twilight giggled, rolling her eyes at her perverted friend's antics.

Seeing this, Sunset scowled, narrowing her eyes before grinning maliciously. "Ohh, Moondancer? I think our purple friend is feeling horribly neglected by your show of favoritism."

Said purple pony blinked twice. "W-what?! I'm not-"

Moondancer, fully aware of Sunset's sinister intentions and not bothered in the slightest, turned to Twilight, beaming. "You're right!" Approaching her target with her head lowered, eyes half-lidded, and hips swaying, she spoke in a husky whisper. "C'mere, Twily, let me be your first kiss..."

"Eek!"

Watching Moondancer chase Twilight around the room making kissy faces, Sunset suddenly felt she was faced with a dilemma...

I could easily trip Twilight with a quick spell, but that would help the pony that just slobbered on my face at the same time. Choices...

"A-anyway, Trixie," Blueblood uttered, a nervous look in his eyes as he glanced at her. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

Her expression turned very calm, almost sad. "There's something Trixie wants to talk about to you too. It's too soon."

All present, most of all Prince, stood silent in anticipation of elaboration.

The showmare nodded lightly, her voice soft. "I am the Great and Powerful Trixie, but I'm not the Greatest, MOST Powerful Trixie, not the 'best magic pony in the whole world' right now. That was my goal, and it looks like it's still a little too soon." Her would-be paramour opened his mouth to say something, but she held up a hoof. "No, no, please don't say anything, Trixie has come to this conclusion on her own." There was a loud pause. "...With some help from a few ponies that may or may not have steered her in the right direction."

She didn't seem to notice the mass eye-roll, instead walking back to her wagon and calling over her shoulder, a confident grin on her features. "But worry not, Prince Blueblood, for Trixie's proficiency in magic will only rise from here on, and, once more, Trixie will be back for you!"

The door to the wagon shut, the vehicle/house/stage beginning to move seconds later, slowly making it's way out of town.

Shining, Soarin, Doctor, and Ditzy all regarded Prince with curious stares as he stood frozen in place, his face a strange mix of terror and relief. "She's... gone?"

Doctor sighed. "I'm afraid so." It was a shame, they were so close for just a minute there.

"...Good!" He turned away and began a calm march.

As Shining moved to follow, Soarin called out. "Where are you going?"

"The library," he called back, "I need to find a counter-counter teleportation spell before she gets back!"

As Trixie steered her wagon (another feat only the more skilled earth pony engineers of the land really knew how it worked) over a hill leaving Ponyville, she sighed. That didn't go at all like I'd hoped, but I'll never give up on you, My Darling Prince!

...

There was a thought she knew she'd have to stop pretending wasn't possible.

I mean, unless he got a special somepony before the next time we met, then I'd have to back off... Right?

Author's Note

Don't worry reader, that's the last of Trixie's Totally Transfixing Top Titles list. For now. :trixieshiftright:

Now I know there's one overarching question that wasn't answered in the story, a mystery that might have been picking at the back of your mind, it's cloying voice whispering lies and false promises into your trusting psyche since chapter 1: How does Doctor keep fit?!
It may be answered someday, but that day is not this one. Stay tuned!

Bonus #1: Side-Tracked!

When the smoke of Trixie's departure was clear, Pinkie turned to the band of fillies she'd gone looking for after the guest of honor arrived. "Hey, you guys missed pretty much the whole party. What were you up to, anyway?"

Sweetie Belle smiled a little. "Just trying to slake Scootaloo's thirst for vengeance on a stallion that did nothing to her, personally."

"It's JUSTICE," amended the vengeful little daredevil, "on a VILE CRIMINAL that assaulted Rainbow Dash!"

Apple Bloom scratched her head. "Didn't Rainbow say nothin' happened b'tween her an' Mr. Armor?"

"She was-"

Sweetie Belle, with a look on her face suggesting she was anticipating Scootaloo's reaction with amusement, cut her off. "She said it very loudly, about four times."

Everypony that hadn't left a moment after Trixie looked to Scootaloo, whose eyes shifted back and forth. "It's... a secret...?"

"Not really," giggled Sweetie Belle, "but it is kindof a long story."

Those who hadn't left gathered around for a second round of flashback.

Apple Bloom put a hoof to her chin in recollection. "Well, Ah think it started this mornin'..."

"Ok," muttered a yellow, sticky filly, "climbin' up trees an' pickin' the apples right off 'em ain't faster than buckin'."

Scootalloo, equally covered in tree sap, tried to shake it off not unlike a dog would water, to no avail. "I guess we won't be getting apple-picking cutie marks. Which is fine with me, because climbing around trees sounds like something a monkey would do."

Sweetie Belle beamed. "Ooh, you know what else a monkey might do?"

Before the others could ask, she hurled herself to the floor, giggling and rolling around in the dirt and grass and leaves that had been knocked loose by their earlier efforts.

"Yer sister's gonna blow a gasket when she sees ya like that."

She stopped, but didn't get up. "Maybe, but is it really any worse than being dirty and sticky?"

Scootaloo smiled, an idea emerging in her head as she looked at Sweetie Belle. "Oh, I get it! Glitter doesn't stick where the glue is already covered, so," she began to roll around too, "we might as well try for a cutie mark in rolling!"

Apple Bloom, not sold on the idea, but happy to join in on the fun anyway, did just that.

The three of them stood covered in filth, looking like a trio of filly-shaped bushes.

Scootaloo grinned, ready to put her plan into action. "Ok, now that we look like this, we can-"

"Hey," interrupted Apple Bloom, turning about a little like a dog chasing it's tail, "Ah can't see mah flank with all this gunk in the way, how do we know we got our cutie marks?"

Sweetie nodded. "Yea, it won't make much difference if nopony knows we got them."

"Maybe, but we can still try for something else, right?"

"Rrrright?"
"Ah guess?"

The little pegasus beamed. "We can sneak around town disguised as bushes, and then-"

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, one of the few features visible under the layer of brownish green. "We tried that a few weeks back, remember?"

"Yea, but-"

Sweetie Belle inspected a hoof curiously. "I don't think we used tree sap that time, but I know we didn't get our cutie marks."

"Maybe, but-"

The young farmer started off towards the usual spot for tree-sap removal. "Yea, let's wash this stuff off, Ah think we got time for one more idea b'fore school starts."

Scootaloo sighed. She'd have to think of another way to spy on Shining Armor without getting noticed.

---

Clean and no longer risking Rarity's wrath, they decided on doing something with the apples they'd gathered during the first attempt. In this case: making a sculpture out of sliced up apples. The effort was mainly coordinated by Sweetie Belle.

"That one there... The big one here... A few more over... Done!"

The three of them stepped back to get a good look at their work.

Sweetie grinned proudly. "So, what do you think?"

Apple Bloom, who had trotted back to her room to grab a different bow after getting clean, scratched her head. "It's a... very nice lobster?"

"L-lobster?!"

Scootaloo nodded. "Yea. Why'd you want to make a lobster out of apples?"

Her face scrunched up. "It's not a lobster, it's Princess Celestia!"

"What?!"
"Huh?!"

She spent the next few minutes trying to explain that the crustacean's many legs were her mane, which she acknowledged was supposed to float, but apparently Celestia was supposed to be tired in this depiction. This also was meant to explain why she didn't seem to have a neck, she was laying down, the massive claws at the front the best fit Sweetie Belle could find for her "gold hoof-thingies".

Not sure what to do with the abomination, they opted to leave it on a plate on a stump until after school, later opting to bring it to Sugarcube Corner to be part of the snack table at the party Pinkie Pie was preparing.

The three of them stood behind Trixie as Pinkie did her usual thing, Scootaloo whispering to the others. "Ok, we got her here, anypony got a mark?"

"Nope."
"No."

"Alright, so no cutecenaras to plan for, now can we go back and see what that scumbag is up to? Three of his friends were there, so I'm sure he's planning something!"

Despite a shared eyeroll, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle complied, a faint hope of getting cutie marks in spying still in their hearts as much as the desire to help their feathered friend with her weird obsession.

"It is NOT an obsession!"

"Shh!"
"Shh!"

And so they searched...

Shining Armor is a crook!
He's the worst pony we could suffer!

It's for that evil stallion now we look,
Maybe now he's in this gutter...?

Buuuut,
He's not down low,
He's not up high...
I don't think, he could be in the sky!

Not in this chimney,
or flyin' a kite.

Maybe he's in a cottage,
With Fluttershy?

Just bears and a walrus.

Maybe that house?
Or in that prairie?

This basement?
That is WAY too scary!! That is WAY too scary!!

Not here!
Not there!
Not up!
Not down!
He must be hiding somewhere, in this town...!

Sigh! Sigh! Sigh!

I don't think we'll get this mission,
No matter where we look, he's hidden...

I really feel that at this rate,
his justice will come way too late,

Don't wanna quit and give up hope! Don't wanna quit and give up hope! Don't wanna quit and give up hope!

Hey, have we checked the library?

You know, now that you ask, I-

Nope!

They peeked in the library window.

We did it girls, we've found that scum!
Vengeance will be swift, and hearty!

Hey, where have you guys been? There's still plenty of cake left at the party!

Pinkie gasped in horror. "I interrupted a musical number?!"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Nah, Ah think we were just about done anyway."

Those that had remained to hear the story mused to themselves that while shorter, Flashback #2 came with a catchy little song. Which one was the better story would be the subject of discourse among some citizens of Ponyville for days to come.

Author's Note

Yes, a whole bonus chapter to justify a re-worded song from the show is a little indulgent.

I regret nothing!

Bonus #2: Shell-Shocked!

It was beautiful.

It was magnificent.

It was perfection!

It was the glory of all ponykind manifested into a single entity!

It was his reflection.

Truly, Prince Blueblood regretted only one thing about his sheer good fortune to happen across this wondrous apex of creation; that he could never take it with him. "Look at you, my beloved," he uttered, gently tracing a hoof along the edge of the full-length mirror, "so majestic, so incredible, and yet, forever bound in glass." He could, of course, take the mirror with him everywhere, but then he might grow tired carrying it around. Besides, sweating might make a mess of his perfect mane.

It was with a shimmering tear slowly gliding down his cheek that he bid the mirror farewell, but when he finally turned his gaze away, Blueblood was blinded! The sight was so pure, so wonderful, so outstanding, that he knew he must have encountered the only being in existence more beautiful than himself! He took hold of her hoof. "Forgive my caliber, Lady Fairer Than Celestia Herself, but I beg of you with all that I hold dear, will you join me in holy matrimony, and forever be mine to love and to embrace?"

Trixie smiled. "Why of course, My Dear Prince, The Great and Powerful Trixie would be more than pleased to dub thee Her Eternal Consort, and take Her place as the one true princess!"

The golden cathedral they stood in shook with the applause of the thousands of beings, from all corners of the globe, that had gathered to witness this monumentous event in history. The pair kissed, thus completing the wedding and their mutual coronation to King and Queen of the world.

Blueblood turned to Shining Armor, who had been one of his seven-hundred best men for the five-second wedding. "I'll be counting on you in the future, for while our castle will have many butlers, YOU will always be with us."

Trixie, her shimmering crown of pure sunlight taking the form of a pointy hat with every type of jewel imaginable, beamed. "Oh, splendid, My Love! Trixie has always wanted a peasant for hourly hoof-massages!"

Shining Armor awoke with a scream, breathing heavily and dripping with sweat. It was several minutes (and Blueblood shouting at him once to 'just turn on a damn nightlight, for Celestia's sake!') before Shining could compose himself. His most immediate thought went thus:

I can NEVER let those two be together.

This wasn't just to prevent massively creepy ultra-narcissism, but to keep a friend from falling victim to the effects of (he'd read the story to Twily once) a love poison-potion. Without the actual potion. Even though he knew Trixie was probably miles away by now, he couldn't get back to sleep. He got out of bed, wondering what he should do now.

"Checkmate!" Doctor gleefully announced as he put the rook down. "Doing better every time. Another?"

"Sure, why not." Shining Armor shrugged, yawning loudly.

"I'm happy you joined me in my nightly games of chess, but why aren't you sleeping?"

Shining Armor shivered. "I don't want to talk about it..."

Chapter 1: Target Sighted!

The usual bursts of magical pyrotechnics signaled the end of another successful performance by the Great and Powerful Trixie. There were only two challengers this time, but she supposed Horsetown was a humbler place than some others she'd visited. Really, she reflected while relaxing in her wagon, some ponies have SUCH an ego.

"Gol-ly," a mare's voice sounded from outside, "that sure was a heck of a show!" The accent rang Mustangian in Trixie's memory, a country sort of twang mixed with an odd sense of unconditional friendliness, like a talking puppy. "Why, I reckon I ain't seen nothin' that excitin' since that Prince fella the next town over!"

Trixie's eyes shot open. Prince?

"Well, I mean I never 'saw' the pony, but hot-diggity, I hear he's a sight to-"

Trixie's wagon door slammed open hard enough to startle every bird within fifty meters. She looked squarely at the source of the voice, an unimpressive specimen if ever Trixie'd seen one, with not a thought spared for whoever she might have been conversing with. Dull beige coat, ugly green mane, a chicken for a cutie mark, she hadn't even noticed this pony during the show. Still, she held precious information.

"Where," Trixie demanded in as polite a tone as she could manage, "did you say this 'Prince' was again?"

The mare blinked once before giggling. "Why, he's livin' in Ponyville, I hear! Been fancyin' a visit to those parts for a while now, but now that I'm hearin' about-"

Trixie had already stopped listening, grinning with delight. "Thank you for the tip, anonymous bystander, The Great and Powerful Trixie must be going now." She got the wagon moving with all due haste, setting off to Ponyville.

Ponyville, she thought, he's living in Ponyville... She hadn't asked whether or not it was that Prince, of course, but really, how many could there be? Several members of Equestrian government all having the same title? What kind of hierarchy was that?

Six friends that usually met in Sugarcube Corner were getting used to being a few short that number. Thunderlane was working at the weather office, Big Mac was busier than usual with farm work, and Soarin was tending to a client at his Love Guru business, leaving only three. Not also being busy with some kind of work didn't make them feel like slackers at all, even the tiniest bit.

"So," Doctor asked cheerfully, "You two don't seem as winded as in most mornings, things improving in the workout schedule?"

Shining Armor and Prince Blueblood gave one another a brief glance before looking at the brown stallion, answering in unison. "He's getting better."

There was a short pause before all present laughed, one voice giggling for several seconds after the three at the table had stopped. Pinkie Pie popping up unnoticed was still unsettling for Ponyville's newcomers, but at least they were pretty sure she meant them no harm so long as they provided her and the Cakes offerings of bits to exchange for pastry.

Minutes later, they were supplied with tasty confections as the conversation picked up again. "So, yes," Prince continued, "running about the town like a timberwolf on fire may or may not actually be paying off-"

Shining grinned triumphantly!

"-and he's doing slightly fewer stupid things while we're out and about."

And then he deflated, shooting Blueblood an annoyed look. "I told her I was sorry."

A deadpan reply had to wait until a mouthful of cinnamon roll was swallowed, Prince Blueblood wasn't some ill-mannered slob, after all. "Because shouting 'good morning' at a clearly sleeping pony is definitely a good idea to begin with. Rainbow Dash-" Pinkie Pie's eye twitched just slightly, "-can be temperamental at the best of times..."

The look Rainbow had given Shining Armor was a familiar one, a look directly associated with the day they'd met. And excruciating pain.

He threw his forehooves up, exasperated. "I was trying to be neighborly! And she was way up on a cloud, how else would she have heard me?!"

Rolling his eyes, Prince looked to Doctor, who had been rolling up his pancakes for some reason before taking a bite. "So, how do you keep fit?"

Doctor smiled, eating half a pancake-roll in one bite. "Well, it's funny you should ask, I-"

The door to the shop flew open, Mayor Mare grinning excitedly. "Hey everypony! There's some kind of performance going on in town!" And off she went. Presumably to inform/warn others about the activity in their peaceful-ish little village.

Sharing a quick look, the three at the table quickly finished their meals, paid for them, and headed out. Doctor called over his shoulder to an expectant baker's assistant. "Bye, Pinkie!"

"Bye, Doc!"

"Bye Pinkie!"

"Bye Shiny!"

Doctor, mimicking Blueblood's voice almost perfectly, called again. "Bye Pinkie!"

"Call me Pin-..." She blinked, then beamed her brightest smile for all of four seconds before slowly deflating as she realized the words hadn't actually come out of Prince's mouth. "Heeeey!"

As they approached the area ponies were gathering in by town hall, Shining Armor couldn't help a chuckle. "Y'know," he said to Doctor while failing to hide an amused grin, "that wasn't very nice."

Doctor was all smiles. "I fear that's the closest she's ever likely to get. Besides, I don't think our resident high-bred noblepony remembered his manners as we were leaving." He nodded to Blueblood, who hadn't said a word since Mayor Mare delivered the news.

They gently prodded him, eliciting a startled jump. "AAH! WHAT?!" Two quiet stares were question enough. He reddened faintly. "Err, sorry, what were we talking about?"

Shining Armor tilted his head inquisitively. "Are you ok, Blue? Seem a little... jittery."

Prince shook his head. "Nothing, just..." Shifty eyes were always a good sign that nothing at all was amiss. "Something of a premonition, perhaps?"

"Premonition?"

Doctor kept his calm smile. "A suspicion for our mission?"

Shining blinked. "We're on a mission? Why the omission of our mission from the exposition?"

Blueblood watched the two in something of a daze, it was like neither realized...

"Well I had a suspicion it was just superstition. You know the condition of Ponyville's disposition?"

"I have the supposition that you don't need intuition to see the imposition of-"

Prince shouted. "SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU!!"

They looked at him, faces the picture of mildly perplexed innocence. "What?"

Rubbing his temples for a few seconds before remembering something, he smiled. "Sorry, I meant, shut up both of you, please."

In their defense, whatever just happened there seemed like evidence enough of Doctor's implications.

As they arrived, a voice was heard over the din of the crowd. "Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trrrrixie!" It was a light-blue mare in a purple, star-covered cloak and pointy hat standing on a stage that hadn't been there before, her forehooves extended joyously to the skies.

"Oh, hey," Shining uttered, "a street performer. There were a lot more of those in Canterlot, eh Blue?"

Silence.

"...Blue?" Turning to him, they saw Prince paralyzed, eyes wide open as he stared at Trixie like she were a Windigo.

"First up," she called, a watering can appearing in the air next to her, "some simple spells..." The watering can shook about, droplets of sparkling water hanging in the air, gathering around Trixie like a floating, glistening wreathe. The crowd lightly applauded, but by the look of the small, circular black object she pulled from under her hat, she was just getting started. The object floated out towards the crowd, spinning in place as Trixie stood back on her hind hooves, floating droplets moving with her, and waved a forehoof quickly in front of her face, which was now blind-folded. The black disk shot into the sky, vanishing from sight as Trixie removed her hat, a light motion of her head letting silvery locks fall loose as her horn lit up. She smirked. "Don't try this at home, fillies and gentlecolts..." A magical beam fired from her horn straight into the sky in the same direction as the black disk. "...because you won't do it half as well as the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

It was just as ponies were starting to raise eyebrows and murmur to one another that little black shards, still smoking with the heat of the beam, rained down in front of the stage, burying themselves in the soil on impact. A few ponies applauded her marksmanship, but she wasn't done. Settling on all four hooves and removing the blindfold with a flourish, Trixie replaced her pointy hat and nodded toward the buried fragments, the shimmering droplets all around her moving to soak the ground. She grinned, raising a hoof as though striking a chivalrous pose. "Watch, in, awe!" Stamping the hoof down on the stage floor, flowers of all sorts sprung up where the black fragments had been planted and watered; tulips, marigolds, sunflowers, violets, even roses, daisies and lilies.

In the crowd, Rose, Daisy, and Lily stood by. "Wish we could do that," Rose muttered sourly.

Daisy smiled a bit. "Might make work a little easier, eh Lily?"

Lily, however, seemed to be staring vacantly at Shining Armor in another area of the crowd. She answered in a daze, not looking away. "Yea, work..."

Daisy rolled her eyes, still grinning.

The cluster of varied and beautiful flowers glowed with magenta light as they were pulled up from the ground, coming together as the unusually long stems wrapped around each other to form a massive bouquet, which, floating towards herself, Trixie hugged happily to the sounds of applause.

Shining nudged Prince, who hadn't so much as changed his expression through the entire performance. "Hello? You seeing all this?"

With a light of her horn, ethereal spotlights formed above the stage, pointing directly at her as their light seemed to make her shimmer and glow, much to the crowd's interest. Trixie grinned, this was the part she had rehearsed the most for the day she would finally cast it on stage. Her cape seemed to become pure light as she threw her hat, glowing in the same way, into the air. When it came down again, it landed on her head as a wedding veil, the cape having wrapped around her body to form a flowing, white dress.

Many of those gathered ooh'd and aah'd and oh my'd as the magician grinned with delight, pointing the bouquet, which converted entirely to roses, at a single audience member.

"And now," her exceedingly pleased smile was visible despite the veil, "Trixie's finest act yet..." One of the floating spotlights directed at her tearfully parted, instead sending its illumination to Doctor, who beamed brightly.

"I'm not sure I can prepare a tuxedo on such short notice, but if you've got an extra cape I could borrow...?"

The crowd giggled as Trixie rolled her eyes, an extra flash of light on her horn fine-tuning the spotlight's aim to the petrified Prince, to the brown stallion's slight disappointment. She batted her eyes. "I've come back for you, My Darling~!"

Author's Note

I'm not sure if this is an awkward enough start for a Stallionverse story, but I'll make up for it later.

"Prince" is part of Blueblood's name, not his title. Trixie does not know that.