Illusions and Trixby ArtColterChaptersGrand Finale, Opening ActThe Sew of ShowsManehattan NightsPony PrincessGrand Finale, Opening ActIt was an illusion I had performed hundreds of times successfully. I had been using it as the final bit in my act for years. And never once did I even imagine what would happen. It was the final night of my spring run in Las Vegas. And, as I had done each of the previous performances, I went to close to show. "And now," I announced in my stage voice, trying my best to hide my accent, "for the grand finale. I will now perform what I like to call 'The Spinning Box of Death.'" One of my two assistants pushed onto stage a large box, which was slightly taller than me. She opened the front door so that I could show the audience that there was nothing inside. No mirrors, no ropes, no nothing. "Ladies and gentleman, I will now step into this box, which will be locked tight. The box will then be hoisted 15 feet above the stage. And, well, you'll see." I went to step inside, but then I paused, as if I had forgotten something, stroked my dark black beard and mustache, and turned back around to face the crowd. "Oh, right, there was something I forgot to mention. I won't be standing up in the box. No, I'll be upside down." Performing a handstand, I walked on my hands into the box. My ankles were then secured to the wall. You see the box would be lifted into the air, spun around as fast as possible, and then dropped, breaking into tiny fragments on impact. However, tiny fragments of me would not be among them, as I will have appeared to disappear. That's the illusion. Of course, I'm not in any real danger. My assistant shut and locked the front door. As I stood there on my bald head, my arms, covered in the black sleeves of my dress shirt, crossed over my favorite red vest, I could feel the box being lifted into the air. However, I had to wait until it started spinning to make my escape. Once it did start spinning, I noticed something unusual. It was spinning a little faster than it normally did during this trick, not enough to cause a catastrophic failure, but still a little strange. Then, as I was about to make my escape, little purple sparks starting coming from the box. As there was no electricity or machinery in the box itself, there shouldn't have been any sparks. Then, I felt my ankle restraints come undone on their own, causing my legs to collapse on top of me and put me in an awkward position. Now things were bad. I struggled to get to my feet to make a last ditch effort to escape, but before I could, I saw a purple light in front of my eyes. The next thing I felt was falling onto my back. But it wasn't onto a hardwood stage. It felt more like grass and flowers. Opening my eyes from the light, I could see a blue sky with a couple of puffy white clouds. Slowly, I rolled over and up to my feet, finding that my surroundings indeed was a field of grass and flowers. "AAAHHH," a feminine voice shrieked from behind me, "Get back! Stay away, whatever you are! Turning around to find the source of the voice, the only other thing I saw was a little blue pony, standing not taller than my stomach. She was wearing a star-studded purple cape and matching pointy hat, like a wizard. She had a look of terror in its eyes. Naturally, I reached a hand out to calm it. "No! Stay back! Keep away!" she yelled, confirming that it was indeed the pony who was talking to me. I kneeled down to get closer to her height. "I am not going to hurt you," I said calmly, my Russian accent coming out this time, "I promise." "The creature speaks? What in the name of the Sun are you? The Great and Powerful Trixie was simply trying a new spell, and then you appeared." "My name is Alexi Federov," I explained, "I'm a human. You don't know what that is?" "The Great and Powerful Trixie has seen many strange creatures in her life, but none like you." "Trixie, if that is your name, can you tell me where I am?" "You are in Equestria, outside of Manehattan." "Equestria? Where the fuck is that?" "You're not from this world?" "Can't say that I am. Ponies in my world don't talk." "Trixie is not a mere pony, she is a unicorn," her hat began to glow purple, the same shade I had seen in my box, and lifted off of her head, revealing a horn which was glowing the same color. "Unicorn. And I am assuming that aura of yours is some kind of magic?" "Indeed. Trixie is a great and powerful magician." "What a coincidence. I'm a magician myself." "Hmhm," Trixie snorted, "You are nothing compared to the..." "Great and Powerful Trixie," I completed sarcastically, "I get it. How about I prove it to you?" "A show of magical feats? Trixie is intrigued by your offer. Trixie accepts." "Ladies first." Trixie smirked, "A simple trick should suffice to allow Trixie to win this contest. Watch my hat carefully." I did so as she turned her hat upside down and levitated it toward herself. She then ran her hoof along the underside of the brim a few times before reaching inside, producing a dove which stood on her hoof, tilting its head curiously. "Not bad," I clapped a few times, "But I can do better. I stood back up and swiftly clasped my hands together. "Tell me Trixie, what is your favorite type of flower?" "Umm, chrysanthemum?" "Interesting choice. OK then, don't blink," I swiftly released my left hand and flung it upward, leaving in my right hand a chrysanthemum, the flower being the same color as Trixie's fur. "That is nothing, Trixie could do that when she was a little foal." "Oh really," I glared, bringing my left hand down again, crushing the flower between my hands. I ground my hands together a few times. Then, I made a little space with the webbing of my left thumb, like one does after catching fireflies. Into this little hole I blew a little bit of air, returning to my grinding afterwards. "Does this have a point? Trixie is bored." "Just a second," I paused, then threw my left hand off again, revealing this time an entire bouquet of the flowers, all of them blue, wrapped decoratively in white paper which matched the color in Trixie's mane and tail, then continued in my best stage voice, "For you, great and beautiful Trixie." "Um, thank you," she levitated the flowers out of my hand and placed them in her still upside-down hat, "Trixie admits you are a powerful magic user. How did you make those flowers appear? You're not even a unicorn." "I am a human and an illusionist. I think our rules work differently. Besides, you should know better than to ask me for my tricks," the last part of my sentence lingered in my ear, "Hey, tricks, Trixie, ha, your name is a pun. The Great and Powerful Trixie is a stage name. What is your real name?" "Trixie is my real name. Trixie Lulamoon to be precise. What did you say your name was again?" "Alexi Federov. But my stage name is Aleksander Rusev." "Well," Trixie said, turning away from me, "Trixie will let you be on your way then." "What do you mean 'on my way'? You are the reason I arrived here. As far as I am concerned, you are stuck with me until we find a way to send me home." "What," Trixie exclaimed, jumping back around, "No. Trixie has shows and traveling to do. Trixie does not have time to babysit some human." "Well you better make time. Also, for the love of Christ, stop talking in the third person." "What? Trixie always talks like this." "I do not care. It is very annoying and just makes you sound like an narcissistic wannabe." "You take that back!" "No. Now, the sooner you get me back home, the sooner we are out of each other's hair." "But Trixie doesn't know how to send you home." "You brought me here, didn't you?" "Yes, by accident," Trixie lamented, bowing her head, "My spell went wrong, and I am not sure if the same thing would happen twice." "Your funeral, then." "Trixie might know somepony who would have an answer, though Trixie is not sure whether they would want to see her." "We should go find them, then. Are they nearby?" "No, they are in Ponyville. Trixie has many stops and shows to do before she goes near there." "When is your next show?" "Tomorrow night in Manehattan. Three-night run," Trixie suddenly looked up, her eyes very big and bright, "Trixie could make you part of the show!" "You don't want to do that. I might upstage you, again." "No, it's perfect. I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, summoned an alien creature from another universe. It's a perfect story for my finale!" I sighed, "OK, Trixie. But remember how scared you were when you first saw me? Something tells me others will react the same way." "We shall cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, off to Manehattan!" The Sew of ShowsTrixie and I made it into Manehattan by sundown. Trixie had in tow a rickshaw cart, or caravan, which not only held all of her props, but also folded open into a mobile stage. It also sometimes acted as her home, but not for the time being, not while we were in the big city. "It's going to cost Trixie a fortune to house and feed you, human," she grumbled as we ambled into town. "Either call me Alexi or don't speak to me," I barked, "I will not be called 'human' by a pony who refers to herself in the third person." "Trixie...I...am sorry...Alexi," the unicorn said, bowing her head. "It's OK, Trixie," I sighed, placing my hand down to touch a bit of mane on the back of her neck which wasn't covered by her hat or cape. As we made our way through a part of town, we naturally passed other ponies, ponies who hadn't seen me yet. I tried to not make eye contact, lest I scare them, but they seemed to be doing that plenty fine on their own. I could see out of the corners of my eyes quite a few of them hide or even run away in fear. I suppose I can't blame them. People always said I was pretty frightening. My grandmother used to half-joke that I resembled a young Lenin. Eventually, we stopped in front of a three-story building. "We shall stay here," my companion announced, "Trixie knows this place well." "And what about me?" "Do not worry," she waved a hoof, "you'll be fine. Besides, it's not as if you would fit in my caravan." I had to admit that she was right about that, and followed the unicorn inside. The front room of the building wasn't much to look at, pretty standard, I suppose, though it seemed to be from a bygone era. In fact, now that I thought about it, even though Trixie mentioned that Manehattan was the largest city in Equestria, it seemed to have about the same technology as the early 1900s. The streetlights ran on gas, the streets were mostly cobblestone, and almost all the buildings were made of wood. "Well," the burly masculine voice of the pony behind the wooden reception desk said, "look who's back. The Great and Powerful Trixie returns to Manehattan. So, Trixie, cause any international incidents lately?" The stallion laughed at this, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. "Not yet," Trixie answered in stride, "though my friend here might change all that." "Your friend," the clerk asked, "And who would that... He spotted me for the first time. Frankly, it shouldn't have taken him so long, but he was having so much fun poking fun at Trixie that he hadn't noticed me standing there. His eyes doubled in size, and his mouth hung open in utter bewilderment. "Tr-Trixie...," he stuttered, "wh-what in Luna's Moon...is that thing!?" Trixie didn't answer, but instead looked back at me and angled her head in a silent suggestion. I took it, stepping past her and up to the counter, where I towered over the stallion without even trying. "My name is Alexi Federov," I said in as calm of a voice as I could, again trying to hid my accent, "and I am what they call a human. And, since you are obviously wondering, no, I am not going to hurt you." "How...how long are you going to be here, Trixie," he asked, craning his head around me. "Three days, four nights," Trixie answered promptly. "No problem," he reached behind him toward the wall of room keys, shifting his worried gaze back up to me, "here you go. It should be big enough." I saw the key the stallion held get picked up by the purple aura of Trixie's magic. "Thank you," she said politely, "C'mon Alexi." The unicorn began to make her way up the stairs. I soon followed, having to bend over in half to not hit the ceiling, leaving the clerk at the desk in a state of fearful rigor. Soon we made it to the door that fit the key. It seemed to be slightly separated from the other rooms. I followed Trixie inside to find a respectable-sized room, equipped with a queen-size bed and a large, long, dresser with a mirror. "This is nicer than I expected," I quipped. "Yes," Trixie agreed as she took off her hat and cape and laid them on the bed, "Board must have given us the nicest room in the inn." "I hope I didn't scare him too badly," I said, looking over my shoulder, considering whether I should go back down and apologize. "He'll be fine. Now you wait here, Trixie will fetch us some dinner. She was about to exit the room when a light bulb seemed to go off above her head. "Um...Alexi...what do humans like you eat?" I grinned wickedly, stepping toward her, "Oh, humans usually eat meat. We are particularly fond of pony meat. Trixie's pupils shrank to pinpoints as she began to shake in fear. Like I did before, I kneeled down to appear less intimidating. "I'm sorry, Trixie. It's true that most humans do eat meat, though almost never from ponies. I, however, have been a vegetarian for years now, so I suppose whatever you would eat would be fine by me." Trixie's pupils returned to their usual size, and her horn flared up. "You little...how dare you scare Trixie like that. You will pay!" She fired a blast of magic in my direction. The energy struck me square in the chest, but nothing happened. It felt no different than being hit by a gust of wind. The attack over, I smiled at Trixie, who once again seemed petrified. "Guess I'm not affected by your magic," I quipped, brushing off my slightly ruffled vest, "Now, you were saying something about food?" "Food...right," Trixie stuttered, "I'll get right on that." The blue unicorn bolted out the door, locking it behind her. I just shook my head and chuckled. *--*--*--*--* By the time Trixie returned with the food, she had calmed down from her earlier scare. We ate our steamed vegetables and noodles, which reminded me a lot of Chinese food, in relative silence. When we finished dinner, we both noted that it was quite late, and it was time to turn in. Trixie took the bed without a second thought, and I really didn't blame her. However, she had brought in a blanket from her caravan and tossed me an extra pillow to sleep on. "Hey Trixie," I said as I took off my vest, "I am going to need some new clothes." "What? Why?" "This is my only set. I want to look good for your performance tomorrow." "Do you need to wear clothes?" "Yes," I replied, taking off my black dress shirt, "It's a human thing. We need something to protect us from the elements since we do not have fur like most animals." "But your undressing now," Trixie pointed out. I could see her eyes glance lower than my eyes. "That's because I am getting ready to sleep," I reached down to remove my black slacks and black socks, "There are a few occasions when humans remove their clothing. One of them is to sleep. But it is never, or should never, be done in public." "Fine," Trixie relented with a sigh, "I know a mare here in the city who might be able to make some for you. We can go first thing in the morning. I can only hope this doesn't cost me all of my Bits." *--*--*--*--* The next morning, as promised, Trixie took me to see this tailor. We had to walk across half the city, but eventually stopped in front of a lone-standing building. The blue-and-pink motif and decorations were nice, I suppose, if a little bright for my tastes. As Trixie and I walked in, I noted the name of the shop, "Coco's Couture." The inside was pretty much what you would expect from a clothes shop, various outfits adourned on pony-shapped mannequins, and racks upon racks of clothes. "Good morning," a small, high-pitched voice greeted, "Welcome to Coco's Couture." Trixie and I looked in the direction, to see a beige pony with a two-tone blue mane standing there. "Coco, there you are," Trixie beamed. "Hello Trixie and EEP!" The little pony had spotted me. Somehow or other, even though I towered over them, these ponies had a weird habit of not seeing me. Coco got very small, her entire body shivering. "Don't worry," Trixie said, making her way over, "Coco Pommel, this is my friend Alexi Federov. He's a human, a brand new species of creature which Trixie discovered." Coco was not moving from her spot on the ground, so I did what I had done before. "Ms. Pommel," I kneeled down, "I'm not going to hurt you. Actually, I need your help." "My...help," she began to perk up, "What with?" "Well, you see this," I pulled at the sleeve of my shirt, "This is the only set of clothes I have. I'm going to need some new ones if I'm going to look good for Trixie's performances." "But, I make clothes for ponies," Coco argued, raising up to her hooves again, "I wouldn't know where to start with you." It's quite simple, really. I wouldn't suppose my style is much different than a big-city stallion." "Not at all," Trixie concurred, "Please, Coco, this is really important." "OK," Coco sighed, "I'll try." It took the rest of the morning for Coco to do all the research she needed to make clothing for me. By research, I meant taking my measurements, taking copious notes on the various articles of clothing I was wearing, and quizzing me on my personal tastes and preferences. She was thorough, I'll say that much. When all this was over with, Trixie and I left Coco's shop with a promise that everything would be ready tomorrow morning. "Well that was nice," I stated as Trixie and I started down the street, "What now?" "Now, we have lunch, and then we set up for my show. This show will be the best one ever, the introduction of the human species." "Just don't go overboard, Trixie." "When have you ever known Trixie to go overboard?" I gave the unicorn a look, "Do you really want me to answer that?" Manehattan NightsSetting up for a performance of the Great and Powerful Trixie was easier than a child's card trick. Even though it was in a theater of some size, Trixie barely had any props, and certainly didn't have the variety and size that I was accustomed to from my own shows. "Are you sure this is everything you need, Trixie," I asked, though I kind of knew the answer since her caravan was pretty much empty. "Yes, that should just about do it, "the unicorn replied, standing on the stage, while I happened to be standing stage right, "The only thing left to do is rehearse the finale." "Trixie," I protested, "I am still not sure if this is a good idea. I mean, I know that I am something new and interesting, but are you sure this is the best way to go about introducing me? I mean, you want me to scream at you in my native tongue! I would be surprised if you didn't have ponies bolting for the exits." "Of course! They will run out of here so fast, scared so out of their minds. Then everypony will wonder what the fuss is about and clamor to see the show for themselves. It's brilliant!" I let out a long, dramatic, sarcastic, sigh, "This is either going to be spectacular or end in an international incident." "Oh, you think so," Trixie exclaimed, completely serious. "Let's just get this over with," I sighed. "OK," Trixie said, "I'll set up with a story about practicing my routine and how you showed up. That's when you enter stage right. I strode onto the stage, looking down at Trixie with all the real and theatrical malice I could muster. "Good, good," Trixie continued, "then I say..." *--*--*--*--* "...begone foul beast!" Trixie fired a shot of magic toward my stomach, which I was able to parry with my left hand. The blast bounced straight down, disintegrating upon impact with the hardwood stage. I scowled at Trixie and stood a little taller. "Tsel'sya vyshe ty glupyy loshad'," I screamed, patting my chest with both my hands. "The beast was ready for the first volley," Trixie exclaimed, narrating to the crowd, "but I did not expect it to dodge this." The second shot was larger than the first, and flung straight at my chest, just as planned. This one I backhanded, sending it flying over the seats. After flying about 10 rows or so, it burst in a nice little pyrotechnic display. I was trying to judge the crowd's reaction. Most of them seemed worried, as if I was a wild animal who at any moment would go off-script and destroy the theater. Others seemed enthralled by the story and the subsequent staging of the fight. "Это все, что у tебя есть?" With that, I charged at Trixie over the short span of the stage. As planned, Trixie teleported away and got behind me, quickly conjuring up a length of rope and tying my ankles together, causing me to fall. I flipped over onto my back and attempted to still appear menacing from my downed position. Trixie used her magic to pull me closer to her, despite my theatric struggling. When I was within range, she produced another length of rope proceeding to wrap it around my entire torso, restraining my arms at my sides. The "capture" complete, Trixie bounced on top of my chest with her whole body weight, which made me groan in pain. "And thus," she exclaimed in conclusion, "the Great and Powerful Trixie captured the wild human that you see before you this evening. Thank you and goodnight!" Trixie doffed her hat and gave a little bow while the audience applauded magnificently. As soon as the curtain completely dropped, Trixie undid my restraints and I made my way off stage. For some reason, though the cheering probably warranted it, Trixie did not do a curtain call. Instead, she came right over to me and gave me a hug as best she could while standing on her hind legs. "Listen to them," she said, hugging a little tighter than my ribcage would prefer, "They loved the show." "I would say so," I agreed, patting Trixie on her now-hatless head. "Thank you, Alexi. Thank you for agreeing to do this." "You're welcome, Trixie, though I don't think I can do this forever." "You're right," Trixie let go of the hug and returned to all-fours, "We'll have to come up with something new when we go to Fillydelphia. But for the time being, let's stick to this. It works." *--*--*--*--* The first thing the next morning, Trixie and I returned to "Coco's Couture" to hopefully pick up my new clothes. As soon as we got there, we spotted Coco Pommel, who almost seemed to be waiting for us. "Hello Trixie," the little Earth mare greeted, "hello Alexi." "Coco," Trixie replied, "have you got it?" "Yes, well, only two sets so far, but I think you will like them. Follow me." Coco led us into the back of the store, to her own little private workspace. Hanging by what I could tell were makeshift hangers were two sets of clothes. One a navy blue shirt paired with gray slacks, the other a white shirt paired with a new pair of black slacks and topped with a navy vest. "Coco these are great," I said, walking over to get a closer look, "Are you sure they'll fit?" "Unless you've gained 20 pounds in one day, yes." I stepped back toward Coco, scooped down and picked her up in one motion. I had noted with Trixie that these ponies were relatively light, strong, but light. I brought her all the way up to my eye level, her hooves dangling with absolutely no idea what to do. "Thank you Coco," I smiled, "You are the best." Coco's blushed, her entire face turning a solid red color which contrasted nicely with her blue mane. "You're very welcome," she replied in a very small voice. I have no idea what came over me, but I had a sudden urge and I filled it. Switching the positions of my hands slightly, I hugged Coco into my chest. The mare had no chance of hugging me back, as I could feel her forehooves pressed against my sternum. After a few moments, I let go and gently placed her back on the ground, where it took her a moment or two to regain her footing. "I only wish I had a way to pay you properly," I mourned, bowing my head more than was necessary to see the ponies. "It's OK," Coco looked up and smiled at me, "Call these two on the house. But I'll expect some Bits if you want any more." Fighting off the urge to hug her again, I walked over and grabbed my clothes, including the hangers. Slinging them over my shoulder, I thanked Coco once again, and led Trixie out of the boutique. We got about halfway back to the inn before Trixie spoke up. "Alexi, why do you not hug the Great and Powerful Trixie like that?" "She deserved it," I answered, "maybe someday you'll deserve one too." Trixie didn't say another word about it that night. I was worried that I might have made her sore at me, but that was all remedied by the next two nights of performances. Like the first, they went off without a hitch, the crowd eating up Trixie's show the entire time. And, like the first night, after the battle finale, everypony stood up and cheered. Unlike the first night, however, Trixie took her curtain calls. Now that her little run in Manehattan was over, Trixie's next stop was in Fillydelphia, this time for a week. And as we boarded the train, with ponies staring at me the entire time, I had a nagging feeling that things were about to change. Pony PrincessThe trip to Fillydelphia was long, but nice enough. Trixie had explained to me that she abhorred train travel, and as such walked nearly everywhere she went, pulling her caravan along. When I protested to this travel plan, she was quick to point out that the fewer ponies who saw me, the better. Word was going to spread about my appearance and "capture" and would no doubt lead to big crowds in the next city. We finally made it to town after two days of walking. Fortunately, Equestria didn't seem very large and the towns were pretty close together for the most part. I hadn't been able to look at a map yet. Trixie must have walked these roads many times to be able to get around without one. "You know, Alexi," Trixie mentioned once we were comfortably inside our hotel room, "We should come up with some alterations to the story. We want to keep it fresh." "I don't know, Trixie," I replied, "Do you really think we'll be able to keep up this charade? Ponies are eventually going to figure out that I'm not some dangerous monster." "True," she agreed, sitting on her haunches, "but we need it to go on as long as possible. This is really helping my act." "You know what would help even more," I suggested, "Showing off some of my illusions. Then, instead of being a dangerous, uncontrollable, creature, I could be the magical human man that I am. Or, if you don't like that, maybe I could teach you how to do some of my tricks." "The Great and Powerful Trixie does not need to rip off other magicians." I rolled my eyes, "How many times do I need to warn you about the 'Great and Powerful' stuff?" "At least once more it seems," she snickered. "Maybe tonight I won't let you tie me up." "Ha! You'd let me tie you up whenever I want." Trixie's face immediately dropped at the implication of what she had just said. I threw my hand over my mouth in an attempt to hold back laughter, which ended up being in vain, as I busted my gut anyway. "OK," I chuckled once the majority of my fit had passed, "that was well worth it. What did you have in mind?" *--*--*--*--* "Tonight, ladies and gentleman," Trixie announced to the audience, "I will end my performance not with a feat of magic, but a story. The first show in Fillydelphia was coming to a close. Everything had gone smoothly so far, and the only thing left to do was the tale at the finale. "As some of you may have heard, I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, have discovered and have succeeding in capturing a brand-new species of animal. This creature is like nothing else in Equestria. For one, it stands on it hind legs, stretching to a height at least twice that of myself. This leaves its forelegs free to do what it will. It is nearly hairless. When I found it, it was using animal pelts as rudimentary clothing. And, as if it wasn't dangerous enough with these features alone, it soon became apparent to me that it was immune to magic. "Now, I have been able to keep it subdeud, for the most part. You all may have heard about it making a showing in some of my recent performances. However, in the last day or two, it has become much more agressive, lashing out at me at the slightest provocation. Because of this, I have had to keep it locked in my caravan, lest it ruin the show. That was my clue. With various props and equipment, both from the caravan and what I could find backstage, I began to make as much noise as I could. Various things slammed to the ground, some breaking. As a signal back to Trixie, I let out a deep, bellowing, yell. "What was that," Trixie asked nervously, even going so far as to turn away from the audience and look in my direction. At this, I stopped everything and became as quiet as possible, creating a silence that, to the audience, probably seemed to last an eternity, "Well, that was strange." On that cue, I lept out of the wings and onto the stage, landing so close to the middle that I was able to reach out and push Trixie, causing the unicorn to fall. The audience let out various gasps and screams. I turned to face the audience momentarily, allowing them to take in my whole figure. I was still wearing my regular attire, but this time my vest and shirt were open except for the very last button of the shirt, as if they had been buttoned but had been torn open. I heard Trixie make her way back to her hooves, preparing to fire a shot of magic. "Take this," she cried. As I had done in Manehattan, I batted the ball of purple aura away, sending it over the audience where it promptly exploded in a shower of sparks. At this, Trixie began slowly backing away in fear, as if the only thing she could think of had failed. I, in turn, made my way toward her in as menacingly a fashion as I could. From the crowd, I heard a mare actually call for the police, fully believing the act. That's when I heard a sound like a unicorn revving up their magic. As Trixie wasn't currently casting a spell, I looked back over the audience. From over the crowd, I could see the white head of another pony, well above the throng. This pony's horn was glowing a gold color which was steadily intensifying. After a few seconds, it fired a laser-like blast right at me. In defense, I turned, set my feet, and held both my hads up. The golden beam blasted my hands with great force, causing me to slide back slightly. However, I was able to block it fully, all the way until it finally ceased. Given a minute to recuperate, I found that the pony who fired at me had no such ideas. Once I had found its head again, I saw two large wings spread out on either side of its body, which was still concealed by the crowd. It soon took flight, landing on the stage to my right, on the opposite side of Trixie. Now that I was able to take a good look at it, I realized it was different than any pony I had yet seen. For one, it stood twice the height of the average pony, its eyes leveling even higher than mine. On top of that, it had a horn and wings, an anatomy I was unfamiliar with. Soon, I noticed that all the ponies in the crowd dropped down in a sort of reverant gesture, one-part bowing, one-part praying. The tall pony bowed her head slightly to look me in the eye. "I will not allow a creature such as yourself to harm my little ponies," it declared in a definitely feminine voice. Having said her piece, her horn began to glow again. Not wanting to be on the end of another laser beam, I decided to do something drastic. "Wait," I yelled, throwing my hands up and out, ducking my head slightly, "I am not really trying to hurt Trixie, it's all an act." "You-you speak our language," the tall pony asked, turning off her magic. "Yes," I replied, still holding my defensive posture, "I am sorry for scaring you all." "Who, or what, are you," the tall pony asked with a tilt of her head. "My name is Alexi Federov. I am what is called a human. Suffice is to say, I am not from your world," I cast a glance over the audience, some of whom were still bowed, "And who, may I ask, are you?" "I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria." I turned my head to see Trixie rise back to her hooves, a nervous expression still drawn on her face. "Hey Trixie," I spoke as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening, "you said you wanted to draw ponies to your show. Must be working if royalty decides to show up." "Well," the princess replied, "I got word that a strange creature had been seen in Manehattan in the company of the magician Trixie. I took it upon myself to come and see it for myself. My apologies for taking your act a little too seriously." "That's OK," I said, rubbing the back of my head, "I guess I did lay it on a little thick. By the way, you have some strong magic." "I should. I am an alicorn, after all." "Ah, so is that what they call ponies with horns and wings?" "Precisely. There are only four of us, the four princesses of Equestria." "Speaking of," Trixie interjected, making her way beside me, "It is fortunate that you are here. We are trying to come up with a way to get Alexi back home. But I do not know how to do it. I thought that perhaps Twilight Sparkle could come up with something." "Is this correct," Celestia asked, directing her question at me. "Yes, princess. I do not really belong in your world. I should get back to my world as soon as possible." "Tell me, Alexi," Celestia continued, "what is your job in your world?" "I am an illusionist, a magician of sorts, just like Trixie, ironically. Do you want to see a trick?" "That would be lovely." "OK, umm, a Bit, I need a Bit," I reached my hand out toward the audience, searching for a gold piece of currency. Eventually one was produced, and Trixie used her magic to float it up to me. "Thank you," I said to both Trixie and the stallion whose Bit it was, "Now you'll see that there is nothing up my sleeves. I removed my vest and shirt, not difficult considering the state they were already in. "I have noticed," I continued, turning the coin around in my hand, "that Bits have no distinguishing markings. They all look the same. Princess, if it pleases you, could you mark this Bit in some way, as a way to set it apart?" "Certainly," Celestia said, lighting her horn and grabbing the Bit out of my hand. After a moment, she returned it. I could now see a letter 'C' etched into the gold. "Thank you. Now, Trixie, I need a handkerchief. The unicorn quickly got one for me. Once I had it in hand, I placed the coin in my hand and tightened a fist around it. Taking the handkerchief, I packed it into my fist through the hole created by my index finger. "Now, watch carefully," I said, shaking my fist as if I was playing a tambourine. Suddenly, I opened my hand, allowing the handkerchief to fall out. The whole audience, Celestia included, could now see that the Bit had vanished. "That's a very good trick, Mr. Federov," Celestia complimented. "Oh no, my dear princess, that's just the first half. You are all probably wondering where the Bit went. Even I am unable to break the law of physics which states that matter cannot be created or destroyed. It must be somewhere. And I have a good hunch where it is. Princess, if I may?" I took a step toward Celestia and reached up toward the top of her head. She bowed her head slightly to allow me easier access, and I brought my hand behind her ear. Two seconds later, I pulled my hand back, holding between my fingers a silver coin of the same shape as a Bit. Most of the ponies, including Celestia, were puzzled. "Mr. Federov," she stated, "that's impressive, but that is not the Bit that you made vanish." "Is it not," I asked, looking it over, "then what is this mark?" Celestia used her magic to bring it up to her eyes. It took her a moment to see it properly, but soon the look of realization crossed her face. "An etched-in 'C'," she announced, "The same as I marked on the Bit." "And that," I said, snatching the coin back and giving it a flip in the air, "Is how you turn a golden Bit in to a silver dollar." There was a round of solid, not too loud, applause from the audience, not too shabby for a beefed-up version of a parlor trick. "Thank you," I did a little wave, "I'll be here all week, literally." This drew a chuckle from Celestia, "Indeed. Good luck, Mr. Federov. I will inform Twilight of this and put her on the case." "Thank you very much, your highness," I replied, bowing to her for the first time. "You know, Alexi," Trixie said, "I think this is the beginning of a completely new direction for the show." "You know, Trixie," I echoed, placing a hand on her head, "I hope you're right."
Grand Finale, Opening ActIt was an illusion I had performed hundreds of times successfully. I had been using it as the final bit in my act for years. And never once did I even imagine what would happen. It was the final night of my spring run in Las Vegas. And, as I had done each of the previous performances, I went to close to show. "And now," I announced in my stage voice, trying my best to hide my accent, "for the grand finale. I will now perform what I like to call 'The Spinning Box of Death.'" One of my two assistants pushed onto stage a large box, which was slightly taller than me. She opened the front door so that I could show the audience that there was nothing inside. No mirrors, no ropes, no nothing. "Ladies and gentleman, I will now step into this box, which will be locked tight. The box will then be hoisted 15 feet above the stage. And, well, you'll see." I went to step inside, but then I paused, as if I had forgotten something, stroked my dark black beard and mustache, and turned back around to face the crowd. "Oh, right, there was something I forgot to mention. I won't be standing up in the box. No, I'll be upside down." Performing a handstand, I walked on my hands into the box. My ankles were then secured to the wall. You see the box would be lifted into the air, spun around as fast as possible, and then dropped, breaking into tiny fragments on impact. However, tiny fragments of me would not be among them, as I will have appeared to disappear. That's the illusion. Of course, I'm not in any real danger. My assistant shut and locked the front door. As I stood there on my bald head, my arms, covered in the black sleeves of my dress shirt, crossed over my favorite red vest, I could feel the box being lifted into the air. However, I had to wait until it started spinning to make my escape. Once it did start spinning, I noticed something unusual. It was spinning a little faster than it normally did during this trick, not enough to cause a catastrophic failure, but still a little strange. Then, as I was about to make my escape, little purple sparks starting coming from the box. As there was no electricity or machinery in the box itself, there shouldn't have been any sparks. Then, I felt my ankle restraints come undone on their own, causing my legs to collapse on top of me and put me in an awkward position. Now things were bad. I struggled to get to my feet to make a last ditch effort to escape, but before I could, I saw a purple light in front of my eyes. The next thing I felt was falling onto my back. But it wasn't onto a hardwood stage. It felt more like grass and flowers. Opening my eyes from the light, I could see a blue sky with a couple of puffy white clouds. Slowly, I rolled over and up to my feet, finding that my surroundings indeed was a field of grass and flowers. "AAAHHH," a feminine voice shrieked from behind me, "Get back! Stay away, whatever you are! Turning around to find the source of the voice, the only other thing I saw was a little blue pony, standing not taller than my stomach. She was wearing a star-studded purple cape and matching pointy hat, like a wizard. She had a look of terror in its eyes. Naturally, I reached a hand out to calm it. "No! Stay back! Keep away!" she yelled, confirming that it was indeed the pony who was talking to me. I kneeled down to get closer to her height. "I am not going to hurt you," I said calmly, my Russian accent coming out this time, "I promise." "The creature speaks? What in the name of the Sun are you? The Great and Powerful Trixie was simply trying a new spell, and then you appeared." "My name is Alexi Federov," I explained, "I'm a human. You don't know what that is?" "The Great and Powerful Trixie has seen many strange creatures in her life, but none like you." "Trixie, if that is your name, can you tell me where I am?" "You are in Equestria, outside of Manehattan." "Equestria? Where the fuck is that?" "You're not from this world?" "Can't say that I am. Ponies in my world don't talk." "Trixie is not a mere pony, she is a unicorn," her hat began to glow purple, the same shade I had seen in my box, and lifted off of her head, revealing a horn which was glowing the same color. "Unicorn. And I am assuming that aura of yours is some kind of magic?" "Indeed. Trixie is a great and powerful magician." "What a coincidence. I'm a magician myself." "Hmhm," Trixie snorted, "You are nothing compared to the..." "Great and Powerful Trixie," I completed sarcastically, "I get it. How about I prove it to you?" "A show of magical feats? Trixie is intrigued by your offer. Trixie accepts." "Ladies first." Trixie smirked, "A simple trick should suffice to allow Trixie to win this contest. Watch my hat carefully." I did so as she turned her hat upside down and levitated it toward herself. She then ran her hoof along the underside of the brim a few times before reaching inside, producing a dove which stood on her hoof, tilting its head curiously. "Not bad," I clapped a few times, "But I can do better. I stood back up and swiftly clasped my hands together. "Tell me Trixie, what is your favorite type of flower?" "Umm, chrysanthemum?" "Interesting choice. OK then, don't blink," I swiftly released my left hand and flung it upward, leaving in my right hand a chrysanthemum, the flower being the same color as Trixie's fur. "That is nothing, Trixie could do that when she was a little foal." "Oh really," I glared, bringing my left hand down again, crushing the flower between my hands. I ground my hands together a few times. Then, I made a little space with the webbing of my left thumb, like one does after catching fireflies. Into this little hole I blew a little bit of air, returning to my grinding afterwards. "Does this have a point? Trixie is bored." "Just a second," I paused, then threw my left hand off again, revealing this time an entire bouquet of the flowers, all of them blue, wrapped decoratively in white paper which matched the color in Trixie's mane and tail, then continued in my best stage voice, "For you, great and beautiful Trixie." "Um, thank you," she levitated the flowers out of my hand and placed them in her still upside-down hat, "Trixie admits you are a powerful magic user. How did you make those flowers appear? You're not even a unicorn." "I am a human and an illusionist. I think our rules work differently. Besides, you should know better than to ask me for my tricks," the last part of my sentence lingered in my ear, "Hey, tricks, Trixie, ha, your name is a pun. The Great and Powerful Trixie is a stage name. What is your real name?" "Trixie is my real name. Trixie Lulamoon to be precise. What did you say your name was again?" "Alexi Federov. But my stage name is Aleksander Rusev." "Well," Trixie said, turning away from me, "Trixie will let you be on your way then." "What do you mean 'on my way'? You are the reason I arrived here. As far as I am concerned, you are stuck with me until we find a way to send me home." "What," Trixie exclaimed, jumping back around, "No. Trixie has shows and traveling to do. Trixie does not have time to babysit some human." "Well you better make time. Also, for the love of Christ, stop talking in the third person." "What? Trixie always talks like this." "I do not care. It is very annoying and just makes you sound like an narcissistic wannabe." "You take that back!" "No. Now, the sooner you get me back home, the sooner we are out of each other's hair." "But Trixie doesn't know how to send you home." "You brought me here, didn't you?" "Yes, by accident," Trixie lamented, bowing her head, "My spell went wrong, and I am not sure if the same thing would happen twice." "Your funeral, then." "Trixie might know somepony who would have an answer, though Trixie is not sure whether they would want to see her." "We should go find them, then. Are they nearby?" "No, they are in Ponyville. Trixie has many stops and shows to do before she goes near there." "When is your next show?" "Tomorrow night in Manehattan. Three-night run," Trixie suddenly looked up, her eyes very big and bright, "Trixie could make you part of the show!" "You don't want to do that. I might upstage you, again." "No, it's perfect. I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, summoned an alien creature from another universe. It's a perfect story for my finale!" I sighed, "OK, Trixie. But remember how scared you were when you first saw me? Something tells me others will react the same way." "We shall cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, off to Manehattan!"
The Sew of ShowsTrixie and I made it into Manehattan by sundown. Trixie had in tow a rickshaw cart, or caravan, which not only held all of her props, but also folded open into a mobile stage. It also sometimes acted as her home, but not for the time being, not while we were in the big city. "It's going to cost Trixie a fortune to house and feed you, human," she grumbled as we ambled into town. "Either call me Alexi or don't speak to me," I barked, "I will not be called 'human' by a pony who refers to herself in the third person." "Trixie...I...am sorry...Alexi," the unicorn said, bowing her head. "It's OK, Trixie," I sighed, placing my hand down to touch a bit of mane on the back of her neck which wasn't covered by her hat or cape. As we made our way through a part of town, we naturally passed other ponies, ponies who hadn't seen me yet. I tried to not make eye contact, lest I scare them, but they seemed to be doing that plenty fine on their own. I could see out of the corners of my eyes quite a few of them hide or even run away in fear. I suppose I can't blame them. People always said I was pretty frightening. My grandmother used to half-joke that I resembled a young Lenin. Eventually, we stopped in front of a three-story building. "We shall stay here," my companion announced, "Trixie knows this place well." "And what about me?" "Do not worry," she waved a hoof, "you'll be fine. Besides, it's not as if you would fit in my caravan." I had to admit that she was right about that, and followed the unicorn inside. The front room of the building wasn't much to look at, pretty standard, I suppose, though it seemed to be from a bygone era. In fact, now that I thought about it, even though Trixie mentioned that Manehattan was the largest city in Equestria, it seemed to have about the same technology as the early 1900s. The streetlights ran on gas, the streets were mostly cobblestone, and almost all the buildings were made of wood. "Well," the burly masculine voice of the pony behind the wooden reception desk said, "look who's back. The Great and Powerful Trixie returns to Manehattan. So, Trixie, cause any international incidents lately?" The stallion laughed at this, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. "Not yet," Trixie answered in stride, "though my friend here might change all that." "Your friend," the clerk asked, "And who would that... He spotted me for the first time. Frankly, it shouldn't have taken him so long, but he was having so much fun poking fun at Trixie that he hadn't noticed me standing there. His eyes doubled in size, and his mouth hung open in utter bewilderment. "Tr-Trixie...," he stuttered, "wh-what in Luna's Moon...is that thing!?" Trixie didn't answer, but instead looked back at me and angled her head in a silent suggestion. I took it, stepping past her and up to the counter, where I towered over the stallion without even trying. "My name is Alexi Federov," I said in as calm of a voice as I could, again trying to hid my accent, "and I am what they call a human. And, since you are obviously wondering, no, I am not going to hurt you." "How...how long are you going to be here, Trixie," he asked, craning his head around me. "Three days, four nights," Trixie answered promptly. "No problem," he reached behind him toward the wall of room keys, shifting his worried gaze back up to me, "here you go. It should be big enough." I saw the key the stallion held get picked up by the purple aura of Trixie's magic. "Thank you," she said politely, "C'mon Alexi." The unicorn began to make her way up the stairs. I soon followed, having to bend over in half to not hit the ceiling, leaving the clerk at the desk in a state of fearful rigor. Soon we made it to the door that fit the key. It seemed to be slightly separated from the other rooms. I followed Trixie inside to find a respectable-sized room, equipped with a queen-size bed and a large, long, dresser with a mirror. "This is nicer than I expected," I quipped. "Yes," Trixie agreed as she took off her hat and cape and laid them on the bed, "Board must have given us the nicest room in the inn." "I hope I didn't scare him too badly," I said, looking over my shoulder, considering whether I should go back down and apologize. "He'll be fine. Now you wait here, Trixie will fetch us some dinner. She was about to exit the room when a light bulb seemed to go off above her head. "Um...Alexi...what do humans like you eat?" I grinned wickedly, stepping toward her, "Oh, humans usually eat meat. We are particularly fond of pony meat. Trixie's pupils shrank to pinpoints as she began to shake in fear. Like I did before, I kneeled down to appear less intimidating. "I'm sorry, Trixie. It's true that most humans do eat meat, though almost never from ponies. I, however, have been a vegetarian for years now, so I suppose whatever you would eat would be fine by me." Trixie's pupils returned to their usual size, and her horn flared up. "You little...how dare you scare Trixie like that. You will pay!" She fired a blast of magic in my direction. The energy struck me square in the chest, but nothing happened. It felt no different than being hit by a gust of wind. The attack over, I smiled at Trixie, who once again seemed petrified. "Guess I'm not affected by your magic," I quipped, brushing off my slightly ruffled vest, "Now, you were saying something about food?" "Food...right," Trixie stuttered, "I'll get right on that." The blue unicorn bolted out the door, locking it behind her. I just shook my head and chuckled. *--*--*--*--* By the time Trixie returned with the food, she had calmed down from her earlier scare. We ate our steamed vegetables and noodles, which reminded me a lot of Chinese food, in relative silence. When we finished dinner, we both noted that it was quite late, and it was time to turn in. Trixie took the bed without a second thought, and I really didn't blame her. However, she had brought in a blanket from her caravan and tossed me an extra pillow to sleep on. "Hey Trixie," I said as I took off my vest, "I am going to need some new clothes." "What? Why?" "This is my only set. I want to look good for your performance tomorrow." "Do you need to wear clothes?" "Yes," I replied, taking off my black dress shirt, "It's a human thing. We need something to protect us from the elements since we do not have fur like most animals." "But your undressing now," Trixie pointed out. I could see her eyes glance lower than my eyes. "That's because I am getting ready to sleep," I reached down to remove my black slacks and black socks, "There are a few occasions when humans remove their clothing. One of them is to sleep. But it is never, or should never, be done in public." "Fine," Trixie relented with a sigh, "I know a mare here in the city who might be able to make some for you. We can go first thing in the morning. I can only hope this doesn't cost me all of my Bits." *--*--*--*--* The next morning, as promised, Trixie took me to see this tailor. We had to walk across half the city, but eventually stopped in front of a lone-standing building. The blue-and-pink motif and decorations were nice, I suppose, if a little bright for my tastes. As Trixie and I walked in, I noted the name of the shop, "Coco's Couture." The inside was pretty much what you would expect from a clothes shop, various outfits adourned on pony-shapped mannequins, and racks upon racks of clothes. "Good morning," a small, high-pitched voice greeted, "Welcome to Coco's Couture." Trixie and I looked in the direction, to see a beige pony with a two-tone blue mane standing there. "Coco, there you are," Trixie beamed. "Hello Trixie and EEP!" The little pony had spotted me. Somehow or other, even though I towered over them, these ponies had a weird habit of not seeing me. Coco got very small, her entire body shivering. "Don't worry," Trixie said, making her way over, "Coco Pommel, this is my friend Alexi Federov. He's a human, a brand new species of creature which Trixie discovered." Coco was not moving from her spot on the ground, so I did what I had done before. "Ms. Pommel," I kneeled down, "I'm not going to hurt you. Actually, I need your help." "My...help," she began to perk up, "What with?" "Well, you see this," I pulled at the sleeve of my shirt, "This is the only set of clothes I have. I'm going to need some new ones if I'm going to look good for Trixie's performances." "But, I make clothes for ponies," Coco argued, raising up to her hooves again, "I wouldn't know where to start with you." It's quite simple, really. I wouldn't suppose my style is much different than a big-city stallion." "Not at all," Trixie concurred, "Please, Coco, this is really important." "OK," Coco sighed, "I'll try." It took the rest of the morning for Coco to do all the research she needed to make clothing for me. By research, I meant taking my measurements, taking copious notes on the various articles of clothing I was wearing, and quizzing me on my personal tastes and preferences. She was thorough, I'll say that much. When all this was over with, Trixie and I left Coco's shop with a promise that everything would be ready tomorrow morning. "Well that was nice," I stated as Trixie and I started down the street, "What now?" "Now, we have lunch, and then we set up for my show. This show will be the best one ever, the introduction of the human species." "Just don't go overboard, Trixie." "When have you ever known Trixie to go overboard?" I gave the unicorn a look, "Do you really want me to answer that?"
Manehattan NightsSetting up for a performance of the Great and Powerful Trixie was easier than a child's card trick. Even though it was in a theater of some size, Trixie barely had any props, and certainly didn't have the variety and size that I was accustomed to from my own shows. "Are you sure this is everything you need, Trixie," I asked, though I kind of knew the answer since her caravan was pretty much empty. "Yes, that should just about do it, "the unicorn replied, standing on the stage, while I happened to be standing stage right, "The only thing left to do is rehearse the finale." "Trixie," I protested, "I am still not sure if this is a good idea. I mean, I know that I am something new and interesting, but are you sure this is the best way to go about introducing me? I mean, you want me to scream at you in my native tongue! I would be surprised if you didn't have ponies bolting for the exits." "Of course! They will run out of here so fast, scared so out of their minds. Then everypony will wonder what the fuss is about and clamor to see the show for themselves. It's brilliant!" I let out a long, dramatic, sarcastic, sigh, "This is either going to be spectacular or end in an international incident." "Oh, you think so," Trixie exclaimed, completely serious. "Let's just get this over with," I sighed. "OK," Trixie said, "I'll set up with a story about practicing my routine and how you showed up. That's when you enter stage right. I strode onto the stage, looking down at Trixie with all the real and theatrical malice I could muster. "Good, good," Trixie continued, "then I say..." *--*--*--*--* "...begone foul beast!" Trixie fired a shot of magic toward my stomach, which I was able to parry with my left hand. The blast bounced straight down, disintegrating upon impact with the hardwood stage. I scowled at Trixie and stood a little taller. "Tsel'sya vyshe ty glupyy loshad'," I screamed, patting my chest with both my hands. "The beast was ready for the first volley," Trixie exclaimed, narrating to the crowd, "but I did not expect it to dodge this." The second shot was larger than the first, and flung straight at my chest, just as planned. This one I backhanded, sending it flying over the seats. After flying about 10 rows or so, it burst in a nice little pyrotechnic display. I was trying to judge the crowd's reaction. Most of them seemed worried, as if I was a wild animal who at any moment would go off-script and destroy the theater. Others seemed enthralled by the story and the subsequent staging of the fight. "Это все, что у tебя есть?" With that, I charged at Trixie over the short span of the stage. As planned, Trixie teleported away and got behind me, quickly conjuring up a length of rope and tying my ankles together, causing me to fall. I flipped over onto my back and attempted to still appear menacing from my downed position. Trixie used her magic to pull me closer to her, despite my theatric struggling. When I was within range, she produced another length of rope proceeding to wrap it around my entire torso, restraining my arms at my sides. The "capture" complete, Trixie bounced on top of my chest with her whole body weight, which made me groan in pain. "And thus," she exclaimed in conclusion, "the Great and Powerful Trixie captured the wild human that you see before you this evening. Thank you and goodnight!" Trixie doffed her hat and gave a little bow while the audience applauded magnificently. As soon as the curtain completely dropped, Trixie undid my restraints and I made my way off stage. For some reason, though the cheering probably warranted it, Trixie did not do a curtain call. Instead, she came right over to me and gave me a hug as best she could while standing on her hind legs. "Listen to them," she said, hugging a little tighter than my ribcage would prefer, "They loved the show." "I would say so," I agreed, patting Trixie on her now-hatless head. "Thank you, Alexi. Thank you for agreeing to do this." "You're welcome, Trixie, though I don't think I can do this forever." "You're right," Trixie let go of the hug and returned to all-fours, "We'll have to come up with something new when we go to Fillydelphia. But for the time being, let's stick to this. It works." *--*--*--*--* The first thing the next morning, Trixie and I returned to "Coco's Couture" to hopefully pick up my new clothes. As soon as we got there, we spotted Coco Pommel, who almost seemed to be waiting for us. "Hello Trixie," the little Earth mare greeted, "hello Alexi." "Coco," Trixie replied, "have you got it?" "Yes, well, only two sets so far, but I think you will like them. Follow me." Coco led us into the back of the store, to her own little private workspace. Hanging by what I could tell were makeshift hangers were two sets of clothes. One a navy blue shirt paired with gray slacks, the other a white shirt paired with a new pair of black slacks and topped with a navy vest. "Coco these are great," I said, walking over to get a closer look, "Are you sure they'll fit?" "Unless you've gained 20 pounds in one day, yes." I stepped back toward Coco, scooped down and picked her up in one motion. I had noted with Trixie that these ponies were relatively light, strong, but light. I brought her all the way up to my eye level, her hooves dangling with absolutely no idea what to do. "Thank you Coco," I smiled, "You are the best." Coco's blushed, her entire face turning a solid red color which contrasted nicely with her blue mane. "You're very welcome," she replied in a very small voice. I have no idea what came over me, but I had a sudden urge and I filled it. Switching the positions of my hands slightly, I hugged Coco into my chest. The mare had no chance of hugging me back, as I could feel her forehooves pressed against my sternum. After a few moments, I let go and gently placed her back on the ground, where it took her a moment or two to regain her footing. "I only wish I had a way to pay you properly," I mourned, bowing my head more than was necessary to see the ponies. "It's OK," Coco looked up and smiled at me, "Call these two on the house. But I'll expect some Bits if you want any more." Fighting off the urge to hug her again, I walked over and grabbed my clothes, including the hangers. Slinging them over my shoulder, I thanked Coco once again, and led Trixie out of the boutique. We got about halfway back to the inn before Trixie spoke up. "Alexi, why do you not hug the Great and Powerful Trixie like that?" "She deserved it," I answered, "maybe someday you'll deserve one too." Trixie didn't say another word about it that night. I was worried that I might have made her sore at me, but that was all remedied by the next two nights of performances. Like the first, they went off without a hitch, the crowd eating up Trixie's show the entire time. And, like the first night, after the battle finale, everypony stood up and cheered. Unlike the first night, however, Trixie took her curtain calls. Now that her little run in Manehattan was over, Trixie's next stop was in Fillydelphia, this time for a week. And as we boarded the train, with ponies staring at me the entire time, I had a nagging feeling that things were about to change.
Pony PrincessThe trip to Fillydelphia was long, but nice enough. Trixie had explained to me that she abhorred train travel, and as such walked nearly everywhere she went, pulling her caravan along. When I protested to this travel plan, she was quick to point out that the fewer ponies who saw me, the better. Word was going to spread about my appearance and "capture" and would no doubt lead to big crowds in the next city. We finally made it to town after two days of walking. Fortunately, Equestria didn't seem very large and the towns were pretty close together for the most part. I hadn't been able to look at a map yet. Trixie must have walked these roads many times to be able to get around without one. "You know, Alexi," Trixie mentioned once we were comfortably inside our hotel room, "We should come up with some alterations to the story. We want to keep it fresh." "I don't know, Trixie," I replied, "Do you really think we'll be able to keep up this charade? Ponies are eventually going to figure out that I'm not some dangerous monster." "True," she agreed, sitting on her haunches, "but we need it to go on as long as possible. This is really helping my act." "You know what would help even more," I suggested, "Showing off some of my illusions. Then, instead of being a dangerous, uncontrollable, creature, I could be the magical human man that I am. Or, if you don't like that, maybe I could teach you how to do some of my tricks." "The Great and Powerful Trixie does not need to rip off other magicians." I rolled my eyes, "How many times do I need to warn you about the 'Great and Powerful' stuff?" "At least once more it seems," she snickered. "Maybe tonight I won't let you tie me up." "Ha! You'd let me tie you up whenever I want." Trixie's face immediately dropped at the implication of what she had just said. I threw my hand over my mouth in an attempt to hold back laughter, which ended up being in vain, as I busted my gut anyway. "OK," I chuckled once the majority of my fit had passed, "that was well worth it. What did you have in mind?" *--*--*--*--* "Tonight, ladies and gentleman," Trixie announced to the audience, "I will end my performance not with a feat of magic, but a story. The first show in Fillydelphia was coming to a close. Everything had gone smoothly so far, and the only thing left to do was the tale at the finale. "As some of you may have heard, I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, have discovered and have succeeding in capturing a brand-new species of animal. This creature is like nothing else in Equestria. For one, it stands on it hind legs, stretching to a height at least twice that of myself. This leaves its forelegs free to do what it will. It is nearly hairless. When I found it, it was using animal pelts as rudimentary clothing. And, as if it wasn't dangerous enough with these features alone, it soon became apparent to me that it was immune to magic. "Now, I have been able to keep it subdeud, for the most part. You all may have heard about it making a showing in some of my recent performances. However, in the last day or two, it has become much more agressive, lashing out at me at the slightest provocation. Because of this, I have had to keep it locked in my caravan, lest it ruin the show. That was my clue. With various props and equipment, both from the caravan and what I could find backstage, I began to make as much noise as I could. Various things slammed to the ground, some breaking. As a signal back to Trixie, I let out a deep, bellowing, yell. "What was that," Trixie asked nervously, even going so far as to turn away from the audience and look in my direction. At this, I stopped everything and became as quiet as possible, creating a silence that, to the audience, probably seemed to last an eternity, "Well, that was strange." On that cue, I lept out of the wings and onto the stage, landing so close to the middle that I was able to reach out and push Trixie, causing the unicorn to fall. The audience let out various gasps and screams. I turned to face the audience momentarily, allowing them to take in my whole figure. I was still wearing my regular attire, but this time my vest and shirt were open except for the very last button of the shirt, as if they had been buttoned but had been torn open. I heard Trixie make her way back to her hooves, preparing to fire a shot of magic. "Take this," she cried. As I had done in Manehattan, I batted the ball of purple aura away, sending it over the audience where it promptly exploded in a shower of sparks. At this, Trixie began slowly backing away in fear, as if the only thing she could think of had failed. I, in turn, made my way toward her in as menacingly a fashion as I could. From the crowd, I heard a mare actually call for the police, fully believing the act. That's when I heard a sound like a unicorn revving up their magic. As Trixie wasn't currently casting a spell, I looked back over the audience. From over the crowd, I could see the white head of another pony, well above the throng. This pony's horn was glowing a gold color which was steadily intensifying. After a few seconds, it fired a laser-like blast right at me. In defense, I turned, set my feet, and held both my hads up. The golden beam blasted my hands with great force, causing me to slide back slightly. However, I was able to block it fully, all the way until it finally ceased. Given a minute to recuperate, I found that the pony who fired at me had no such ideas. Once I had found its head again, I saw two large wings spread out on either side of its body, which was still concealed by the crowd. It soon took flight, landing on the stage to my right, on the opposite side of Trixie. Now that I was able to take a good look at it, I realized it was different than any pony I had yet seen. For one, it stood twice the height of the average pony, its eyes leveling even higher than mine. On top of that, it had a horn and wings, an anatomy I was unfamiliar with. Soon, I noticed that all the ponies in the crowd dropped down in a sort of reverant gesture, one-part bowing, one-part praying. The tall pony bowed her head slightly to look me in the eye. "I will not allow a creature such as yourself to harm my little ponies," it declared in a definitely feminine voice. Having said her piece, her horn began to glow again. Not wanting to be on the end of another laser beam, I decided to do something drastic. "Wait," I yelled, throwing my hands up and out, ducking my head slightly, "I am not really trying to hurt Trixie, it's all an act." "You-you speak our language," the tall pony asked, turning off her magic. "Yes," I replied, still holding my defensive posture, "I am sorry for scaring you all." "Who, or what, are you," the tall pony asked with a tilt of her head. "My name is Alexi Federov. I am what is called a human. Suffice is to say, I am not from your world," I cast a glance over the audience, some of whom were still bowed, "And who, may I ask, are you?" "I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria." I turned my head to see Trixie rise back to her hooves, a nervous expression still drawn on her face. "Hey Trixie," I spoke as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening, "you said you wanted to draw ponies to your show. Must be working if royalty decides to show up." "Well," the princess replied, "I got word that a strange creature had been seen in Manehattan in the company of the magician Trixie. I took it upon myself to come and see it for myself. My apologies for taking your act a little too seriously." "That's OK," I said, rubbing the back of my head, "I guess I did lay it on a little thick. By the way, you have some strong magic." "I should. I am an alicorn, after all." "Ah, so is that what they call ponies with horns and wings?" "Precisely. There are only four of us, the four princesses of Equestria." "Speaking of," Trixie interjected, making her way beside me, "It is fortunate that you are here. We are trying to come up with a way to get Alexi back home. But I do not know how to do it. I thought that perhaps Twilight Sparkle could come up with something." "Is this correct," Celestia asked, directing her question at me. "Yes, princess. I do not really belong in your world. I should get back to my world as soon as possible." "Tell me, Alexi," Celestia continued, "what is your job in your world?" "I am an illusionist, a magician of sorts, just like Trixie, ironically. Do you want to see a trick?" "That would be lovely." "OK, umm, a Bit, I need a Bit," I reached my hand out toward the audience, searching for a gold piece of currency. Eventually one was produced, and Trixie used her magic to float it up to me. "Thank you," I said to both Trixie and the stallion whose Bit it was, "Now you'll see that there is nothing up my sleeves. I removed my vest and shirt, not difficult considering the state they were already in. "I have noticed," I continued, turning the coin around in my hand, "that Bits have no distinguishing markings. They all look the same. Princess, if it pleases you, could you mark this Bit in some way, as a way to set it apart?" "Certainly," Celestia said, lighting her horn and grabbing the Bit out of my hand. After a moment, she returned it. I could now see a letter 'C' etched into the gold. "Thank you. Now, Trixie, I need a handkerchief. The unicorn quickly got one for me. Once I had it in hand, I placed the coin in my hand and tightened a fist around it. Taking the handkerchief, I packed it into my fist through the hole created by my index finger. "Now, watch carefully," I said, shaking my fist as if I was playing a tambourine. Suddenly, I opened my hand, allowing the handkerchief to fall out. The whole audience, Celestia included, could now see that the Bit had vanished. "That's a very good trick, Mr. Federov," Celestia complimented. "Oh no, my dear princess, that's just the first half. You are all probably wondering where the Bit went. Even I am unable to break the law of physics which states that matter cannot be created or destroyed. It must be somewhere. And I have a good hunch where it is. Princess, if I may?" I took a step toward Celestia and reached up toward the top of her head. She bowed her head slightly to allow me easier access, and I brought my hand behind her ear. Two seconds later, I pulled my hand back, holding between my fingers a silver coin of the same shape as a Bit. Most of the ponies, including Celestia, were puzzled. "Mr. Federov," she stated, "that's impressive, but that is not the Bit that you made vanish." "Is it not," I asked, looking it over, "then what is this mark?" Celestia used her magic to bring it up to her eyes. It took her a moment to see it properly, but soon the look of realization crossed her face. "An etched-in 'C'," she announced, "The same as I marked on the Bit." "And that," I said, snatching the coin back and giving it a flip in the air, "Is how you turn a golden Bit in to a silver dollar." There was a round of solid, not too loud, applause from the audience, not too shabby for a beefed-up version of a parlor trick. "Thank you," I did a little wave, "I'll be here all week, literally." This drew a chuckle from Celestia, "Indeed. Good luck, Mr. Federov. I will inform Twilight of this and put her on the case." "Thank you very much, your highness," I replied, bowing to her for the first time. "You know, Alexi," Trixie said, "I think this is the beginning of a completely new direction for the show." "You know, Trixie," I echoed, placing a hand on her head, "I hope you're right."
