PonyFall: Onward Valiant Crusaders

by Fullmetal Pony

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Discord, Slice of Life, Human, Sad
Length: 126976

A man finds 3 familiar girls one day

Three girls. How did three girls manage to completely obliterate my understanding of the universe? Well, I guess I shouldn't call them girls (even though they look like they are), ponies would be the better description.

All I wanted was a nice breakfast and a chance to skip class. But the world decided to break on me instead, or maybe I broke it. I can't really make heads or tails of things anymore.

But what I do know is that I found three girls and they were scared. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've got to help the Cutie Mark Crusaders get back home.

Part of the PonyFall Collaboration

Cover art by suirobo

Published 2012-04-11 12:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2022-04-24 04:08:17 UTC

Discovery

Setback in Central Texas
April 13th 2012

"Brave new world!" my headphones blared as I walked through the wooded area on the northern end of campus. Through the trees, I could see a clear blue sky. A nice breeze accompanied the perfect sky. As a certain Mr. Bueller once said, “How could I go to school on a day like this?”

It was Friday the thirteenth, and I decided that if I was going to have bad luck, I might as well have it outside of class. I chose to enjoy an unlucky day by taking a walk over to the local taco joint. I thought taking the scenic route through the little nature trail thing my school had would be nice as well.

Hmm, wonder what else I should do today? The question bounced around my head as I walked along the trail. It’s Friday, so homework is definitely out of the question. There’s always laundry. Oh, I could play Uprising; I really should get back to beating that. Hmm, do I have enough time to write? I admit it; I’m a fanfic writer. I write My LIttle Pony fanfics, but it’s all in good fun. After all, I have ideas I want to write about, and people want to be entertained. Simple as that.

Well, there’s the crossover and Reality Break. I scratched my head as story ideas filled my head. Maybe it was a good idea that I took the scenic route; I have a tendency to zone out when I think about writing, so it probably wouldn’t have been smart to be near a street in that state of mind. Yes, I think I’ll write about...

My thoughts were cut off by a loud thud-like noise.

“Geez!” I exclaimed as I pulled out my earbuds and looked for the noise’s source. “Fricking construction. Even when I don’t have a class, it bothers me.” One of the big buildings on campus was currently being renovated, so I assumed that was what had caused the noise. “Heh,” I thought about all my friends back at school, “that must have scared the crap out of everyone in class.” I then look at the sky and blinked a few times. Either my mind was messing with me, or the sky was now neon pink.

“Ugh,” I took off my glasses, cleaned them, and rubbed my eyes.“I need to stop staying up late. It’s messing with my head.” I placed my glasses back on my head and looked up at the sky. It was blue and clear once more. “Well that was odd,” I said to myself as I started to walk toward the restaurant again. “Maybe I’m coming down with something.” Before I had taken even five steps, I noticed something else was wrong. The forest had lost its natural woodsy smell and it had been replaced with the scent of...

“Fudge?” I asked myself as I took another whiff of the air just to confirm what I was smelling. “Maybe I caught a bug or something.” I started to turn around to head back to my dorm. “I should probably just go lie d-” a murmur interrupted me.

“What the hell?” Okay, first this morning had been enjoyable, then it had been annoying, and now it was downright bizarre. I walked towards the source of the murmuring as the scent of fudge grew stronger. What I saw made my mouth drop. “Oh my god!”

There, in the middle of the forest, was a girl in a white dress, probably no older than eight, lying facedown on the ground. “Jesus!” I ran over and immediately checked her pulse. Oh god, oh god! I pushed back her hair, uncaring of its odd two-toned purple color, and pressed my fingers to her neck. Thankfully got a pulse. Oh thank g- oh crap! What do I do now?! As far as emergency aid training went, checking pulses and the heimlich maneuver were all I knew, and trying anything without proper training would probably make things worst.

Shit! I need to call an ambulance! I cradled the girl’s head in my lap and kept it steady with one hand while searching for my phone with the other. Damn it! Where the hell is it?! I stopped my search when the girl murmured something. Her lips moved, but she was whispering too softly for me to hear. I bent my head down to listen closer.

“Appa... Scoota...” she mumbled.

“Hey, come on! Stay with me kid!” Oh god, don’t die, please don’t die! Suddenly, another loud thud-like noise filled the air. For a second, the world flashed pink again. “What the hell?” Something is wrong, very wrong. Another murmur broke my thoughts, but it hadn’t come from the girl. Instead it had come from close by. I gently laid the girl down on the forest floor and got up to search for the source of the other murmur. Please be someone who can help!

I found the source of the second murmur just a few feet away. It was another little girl, face down in the dirt just like the other one. I got scared; unconscious kids could only mean one thing in my mind. There’s a pedo on the campus! My eyes darted around for something I could use to defend both the kids and myself. I spotted a moderately sized stick and grabbed it.

I then looked at the new unconscious girl. She appeared to be about the same age as the other girl, and was wearing an orange t-shirt and jeans. I picked her up and got ready to get the other girl as well. I have to get them out of here before whoever did this comes back! As I shifted her around to a proper carrying position, I noticed that her hair was an odd purple hue. I’ll worry about it later. I just need to get them out of here! Suddenly, a scream cut through the forest. “Oh no!”

I rushed back to where I found the first girl and raised my stick to fend off any assailants, but then I saw she was screaming while looking at her hand. “Apple Bloom! Scootaloo! Help! Help!” The girl frantically looked around and tried to get up, but fell down. Then she saw me. “Ahhh! Monster! Girls! Anypony! Help!” She started crawling at a fast pace away from me.

“Oh crap!” I instantly dropped the stick and rushed over to her. “It’s okay! I’m not gonna hurt you!”

“S-s-stay away!” She stopped crawling as I neared her, and began flailing her arms at me. “D-don’t make me u-use my horn!”

I raised my free hand up to show her that I meant no harm. “I’m not gonna hurt you, but we need to get you out of he- did you just say horn?”

“Yeah!” The girl yelled at me as she began to bring a hand to her forehead. “Can’t you see i- Ahhh!!”

“What?! What’s wrong?” I was probably panicking just as much as the girl. I expected some crazy pedophile to start attacking us at any second.

“M-my horn! My horn!” The girl was now using both hands to feel her forehead. “It’s gone! Oh sweet Celestia! It’s gone!”

Horn? What the hell? She... she must just be drugged or something. To my chagrin, the girl under my left arm started flailing and landed a lucky hit right in my jaw. My vision faded out for a second as I slumped to the ground.

“Let go of me!” She yelled as she squirmed from my grasp. As I rubbed my jaw, she kicked me in the side; for a little girl without shoes it was quite a kick. “You stupid monster!

“Scootaloo?!” The girl in the white dress exclaimed. I was still trying to get my bearings back.

The purple haired girl stopped attacking me and looked over at the girl in the white dress. “Sweetie Belle?! What happened to you?!”

“I don’t know, but I woke up and I had these things on my hooves,” she said as she wiggled her fingers.“My horn was gone too!”

“What?!”

“And you lost your wings!” The girl in white pointed a shaking hand at the purple haired girl.

I had my bearings back. But now I was even more confused. Sweetie? Scootaloo? Oh Jesus, they think they’re ponies! I was about ready to slap myself to check if I was dreaming or something.

“My what?!” The girl turned and looked at her back and screamed. “No! No, no, no!” Then she turned to me. “You! You must be the monster that did this!” She jumped on me. I was unprepared, and got my glasses knocked off and my face slapped to hell. “Give me back my wings you jerk!” I then felt something hitting my chest as well.

“And my horn!” The other girl yelled as she wailed on my torso.

“No!” I pleaded between attacks, “I’m not gonna hurt you! I swear!” A third loud noise interrupted me, and the girls stopped their assault.

“W-what was that?” The girl in white looked around.

“I don’t know,” The purple haired girl replied.

“Both of you!” I yelled, trying to imitate my father as best as I could. “Be quiet!” It must have been a pretty good impression, since both the girls instantly shut their mouths. I got up and wiped my mouth, getting blood on my hand. The purple haired girl had managed to split my lip a little. “Listen very closely to me, I’m gonna go see what that is. If you see a bad man, or if a bad man attacks me, run. Okay?” The girls nodded as they moved close to each other. I grabbed my glasses and went to investigate the latest noise.

It was a young girl, like before, but this time in a yellow shirt and blue overalls. A pink bow was sticking out of her red hair. “What is going on?”

“Apple Bloom!” The girl in white called out as she rushed past me over to the unconscious girl. “Oh no, not you too!”

“Hey!” I yelled at the girl. “There might be a bad man out here, you need to either stay put o-”

“Sweetie!” The purple haired girl rushed past me and ran over to the other two girls. “What’s wrong?” The girl looked at the scene in front of her, “Is that who I think it is?”

“Uh-huh,” ‘Sweetie’ replied. “Nopony else has a mane or a bow like that.”

“I...” the purple haired girl started to cry, “I’m sorry! This is all my fault! If only I hadn’t told you both to come to the forest, this wouldn’t have happened!”

‘Sweetie’ patted the girl on the shoulder. “It’s ok, at least we didn’t lose each other.” She started to cry as well. “We’re the Crusaders aren’t we?”

“Yeah... but,” the girl said looking around as tears cascaded down her face, “where are we? And how are we gonna get back?”

“I’m sure we’ll figure it out,” ‘Sweetie’ reassured her friend as she, too, cried.

No. I... I must have gone loopy or something. In the chaos I hadn’t noticed it, but now that the forest was quiet again and the girls were all huddled together, my mind started to put the pieces together. In front of me were three girls, all the same age, with very familiar hairstyles, voices, and clothing. One had been talking about a horn and the other had been talking about wings. If it hadn’t been for the attack I’d just received, and my still bleeding lip, I’d have thought I was having the strangest dream of my life. I pushed my own delusions out of the way and focused on important stuff. Getting these kids safe is what matters first. “Is she ok?” I said as I slowly walked over to the girls.

“Stay back!” The purple haired one yelled at me. “I’m not gonna let you hurt us anymore!”

I stopped, raised my hands, and sat down to show that I wasn’t going to do anything. “There, see? I have no weapons on me. I just want to make sure you and your friends are safe.”

“Why would a monster want to help us?”

“I’m not a monster, I’m a-.”

“Big monster that kidnaps ponies and turns them into other monsters!” The girl yelled back at me while staying near the unconscious girl.

“Scootaloo,” ‘Sweetie’ spoke up as she held the red haired girl’s head in her lap. “Maybe it really does want to help us and it just found us here.”

“But look at us!” ‘Scootaloo’ stuck her hand into ‘Sweetie’s’ face, “It has these things, too!”

“Maybe the light got it as well?”

“Oh, crud!” ‘Scootaloo frowned, “I didn’t think about that!” She then turned to me. “Look, I’m really sorry about bucking you, I just didn’t know what was going on!”

“It...” What the hell do I say? This can’t be real, it can’t be! “It’s fine, let’s just get you and your friends someplace safe.” Before I could get up and get the girls to safety, the red hair girl squirmed around a little.

“Ugh,” she said as she began to come out of her sleep. “Where... where am I?”

“Definitely Apple Bloom.” ‘Scootaloo’ looked down at the girl.

“Scoo...Scootaloo?” The girl started to open her eyes. I noticed they were a light amber hue, which was another uncomfortably familiar thing about the girls. The girl fully opened her eyes and screamed. “Scootaloo!?” She jumped up and pointed a hand at ‘Scootaloo.’ “I-is that really you?!” Then she saw her hand and screamed again. “W-what... what is this thing? What’s going on?!”

“I don’t know!” ‘Scootaloo’ yelled back. “I just remember trying to catch you and then I woke up in this pony’s hoof things!” She pointed her hand at me.

“We also kinda hit him a little.” ‘Sweetie’ looked apologetically at me. “I’m really sorry about that mister... you’re a mister right?”

“Um, yeah,” I replied.

“Sweetie Belle?” ‘Apple Bloom’ looked at ‘Sweetie’ with wide eyes, “Oh thank Celestia! I...” Tears started to well up in her eyes. “I was so scared I’d lost both of ya!” She stumbled over to the other two and gave them hug. They all started crying and hugging each other. “I guess even if we look like this, we’re still the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

“Yeah,” Sweetie sniffled. “we’ll always be.” The girls all wiped their faces and then looked at me. “Mister, do you know how to get back home?”

I took a deep breath. I must have hit my head or something to be imagining this. It was too surreal to actually exist. But if this really was happening then... NO! You did not do this! Jane... Jane was just joking about the Drosselmeyer stuff! I... I just need to check. “Okay, take this with me slowly. First off, what are your names?”

“Sweetie Belle.”

“Scootaloo.”

“Apple Bloom.”

“If it’s hard to remember,” Scootaloo said, “you can just call us the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

“I see.” Oh John, you’ve really gone off the deep end this time. “I was afraid of that.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Apple Bloom asked.

Maybe... maybe they just got drugged by a pedo or something and were made to act like the CMC. Yeah, he dolled ‘em up and then... Crap! If that sicko is still around, I need to get them out of here! “I’ll explain later, for now we just need to get you three to a safer place. Can you walk?”

“I... I think so,” Sweetie replied.

“Me too,” Scootaloo said.

Apple Bloom looked at her feet. “I think I might need some help.”

“Okay.” I got up and walked over to her and squatted down with my back facing her. “Get on my back, I’ll carry you.”

“Ya... ya won’t drop me?”

“I...” Just go with it John, what matters is that you get these kids to somewhere safe, “I pinkie-promise.” I pushed up my glasses and stuck a hand over my right eye.

“O-okay then.” Apple Bloom crawled over and onto my back.

“I’m gonna hold your legs okay? You just wrap your ar- er, hooves around my neck, but not too tightly, got it?”

“Got it.” Apple Bloom lightly crossed her arms around my neck as I used my legs to push off the ground. “Oh, it’s like when Applejack would give me pony-back rides.”

“Just watch your head okay? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Got ‘cha.”

“Come on you two, let’s get going.” I signaled for the girls to follow me as I started walking away.

“Right,” the girls simultaneously replied as they got up. I led the group out of the forest and onto the edge of campus. The sky was back to normal now. Screw Friday the thirteenth being unlucky, it’s downright insane.

Scrape

Scrape

Yep, this was definitely not on my list of things to do this morning. I was currently walking through the middle of my campus with one girl on my back and two girls at my side. There were two things very wrong with this picture: one thing was that I was an eighteen year-old college student that didn’t even have a girlfriend, and the other thing was that all three girls thought they were the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The thing that terrified me was that, aside from being human, everything about them matched up: hair, colors (at least their clothes looked like their coats from the show), eye color, and even voices.

“Um, mister?” The girl who looked like Sweetie Belle tugged at my t-shirt (thank god I didn’t wear a pony shirt today). “Are you okay?”

“Er, yes.” I looked down at her as we walked. “I’m just thinking.”

“We didn’t hit you too hard, did we?” The girl who looked like Scootaloo asked.

“No, no. It’s not that.” My head was thumping as I spoke. I must have been quite a sight with a split lip and a bruised face. You’d think a beaten up guy and three girls would attract some attention. Sure, it’s the middle of class right now, but the campus shouldn’t be this quiet. I looked around and saw no one else outside. “I’m just wondering where everyone else is.” It was a half-truth, but I had to keep the girls calm.

“What is this place anyway?” The red haired girl perched on my back asked.

“It’s a really big school,” I replied.

“Ugh,” Scootaloo sighed. “Great, we get turned into weird things and we’re still at a school.”

“Hey,” Apple Bloom asked from atop my back, “how do ya know all this anyway?”

“I’ve, um, been here a while,” I lied.

“So when you turn into, um,” Sweetie looked down at her dress, “whatever we are now, does your cutie mark show up on your coat thing?”

“Coat thing?” I raised an eyebrow.

“This thing.” Scootaloo pulled at her orange t-shirt. “Gotta admit, that’s a pretty neat cutie mark you have there.” I was currently wearing a grey Queen shirt with all the band’s astrological symbols on it and a crown in the middle.

“It’s, um, not a cutie mark,” I awkwardly replied. “Your, um, ‘coats’ are now things called shirts.”

“Shirts?” It was Sweetie’s turn to raise an eyebrow at me.

“It’s a kind of clothing, like a suit or dr-” I stopped when I saw Sweetie tearing up. I bent down to her level. “What’s wrong?”

“My…” she sobbed. “My sister! She… she makes dresses! What if she’s back home and looking for me?!” Sweetie’s speech broke down into wails. Then I felt something wet hit the back of my neck.

“I…” Apple Bloom started crying as well, “I miss ma sister too!”

“I…” Someone! Anyone help! I don’t know how to deal with kids! Scootaloo started crying now as well.

“My parents are probably worried too!” she hiccuped.

“Girls,” I said in the softest voice I could muster, “I promise, I’ll help you in any way I can.” What the hell did that sicko do to these girls? Sadly, the “girls that got forced to act and look like the Crusaders” argument was losing more and more ground in my head. The way they were all crying was genuine, not something that could be manufactured. My heart was starting to beat faster and faster as I felt reality slipping away from me.

“Do you pinkie-promise?” Sweetie asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

I looked down at my hands, which were currently wrapped around Apple Bloom’s legs. “I can’t really do that right now without dropping your friend.” I put on a fake smile; I was good at faking stuff like that to mask my real emotions.

“He’s got a point there,” Scootaloo said as she sucked back her runny nose. Then I heard a grumbling noise. “Um, mister? Is there someplace where we can go to eat?”

“Yeah,” I replied as I stood back up. “We’re right by one of the food... courts.” The last half of my sentence trailed because I realized I was right by said food court. There was always someone at the front desk. Now I knew something was wrong on campus. How could no one have just seen that little outburst?

I walked a little closer to the entrance (not close enough to open the automatic doors though) and checked to see if anyone was even at the front desk. To some of my relief, I saw that there was a guy at the front desk. But he wasn’t looking at us. Instead, his eyes were glued on his computer screen. I realized whatever had caught his attention was secretly a blessing for me. It probably wouldn’t look good if I was seen with a bunch of crying kids and a bloodied face. “Actually, it might be better if I just make you some breakfast.”

“Ya can cook with these weird hoof things?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I get by,” I replied.

“Were you…” Sweetie’s eyes narrowed as she looked up at me, “a chef pony?”

“Not really,” I lied. “People say I cook well, but I never really have time now a’ days.”

“What’s a ‘people?’” Scootaloo asked as we walked past the food court and over to a set of stairs that led to me hall.

“Um,” Crap, crap, crap! Watch what you say John! They think they’re ponies and that you were a pony. I can’t have them thinking I’m a monster again! “It’s a saying we use where I’m from. It’s like saying you heard it from the grape vine. But we just say we heard it from the ‘pea pole’ instead.”

“Where are you from anyway?” Scootaloo asked as we slowly descended the stairs. I could see the girls were having difficulty with the steps.

“Manehattan,” I said the first pony city that came to my head. We were almost on the last step.

“Hey Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo took her attention off the last step to look up at her friend, “didn’t your sister stay i-” Scootaloo didn’t get to finish her question as she missed the last step and smacked the cement.

“Crap!” I rushed over and squatted down to check on Scootaloo. “Scootaloo! You okay?”

“Ow!” She cried as she hugged her left knee. I set Apple Bloom down and slowly pulled up Scootaloo’s left jean leg and looked over her knee. Thankfully, it was just scraped. “That hurts!”

“It’s not that bad, just a scraped knee.” I tried my best to calmly explain to her. “We’ll get that cleaned up as soon as we’re inside. “Does it hurt to stand?” Scootaloo tried to get up, but I saw her face scrunch in pain as she tried to hold back tears. “Apple Bloom?” I turned and looked at the red haired girl. “I’m gonna carry Scootaloo now. You’re gonna have to walk, okay?” She nodded in response. Sweetie walked over and helped steady her friend.

“Don’t worry Apple Bloom, I’ve got you you,” Sweetie said as she positioned herself in the best way to aid her friend in walking. “It’s not too bad once you get used to it.”

“Thank you Sweetie,” I said as I searched through my pockets and pulled out my card key.

“Is that gonna make this stop hurting?” Scootaloo looked at her knee, which was bleeding a little.

“No,” I said as I scooped her up in my arms, “but it’ll get us to the place where I have some medicine.” I looked back at Sweetie and Apple Bloom. “You two okay?”

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom replied as she partially limped with Sweetie’s aid. “I think I’ll get used to this in a little.”

“Good to hear,” I said as we reached the door to my hall. I fidgeted with my card and got it to buzz the door open.

“Woah!” Sweetie exclaimed. “You can still use magic without a horn?”

“No,” I said as I held the door open with my foot. “I used that card thing I pulled out before to open the door. I’ll try to explain everything in a second, but I can’t hold this door open for long with just my foot.” The girls followed my queue and entered into the hall. I let the door close behind me and then led them down the hall to the kitchen right by my room. I maneuvered a chair out from under the table with my feet and sat Scootaloo down on it.

I then looked at all three girls. “I’m gonna go get some medicine. I need you all to stay here and be really quiet, okay?” The girls nodded as I rushed back to my room and grabbed my medical bin. Just as quickly as I left, I returned to the three girls. I squatted down by Scootaloo’s knee and pulled a cotton ball, a large bandage that could cover the scrape, and some brown liquid (I couldn’t remember the exact name) I used as an antiseptic out of the bin. Thank god this stuff doesn’t sting.

I looked up at Scootaloo, whose eyes were brimming with tears as she looked at me. “It’s not gonna hurt, is it?”

“It shouldn’t.” I covered a cotton ball in the brown liquid and brought it close the wound. Scootaloo closed her eyes as I swathed the ball over her wound. When she didn’t feel any pain, she slowly began to open her eyes.

“It doesn’t hurt.”

“I told you it wouldn’t hurt,” I said as I finished covering the wound in the brown liquid. I next grabbed the bandage and stuck it to her knee. “That feel better?”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo flashed me a small smile as she kicked her knee up and down. “Thanks mister. What’ your name anyway?”

“Just call me John.”

“That’s kind of an odd pony name,” Sweetie said as she looked back and forth between Scootaloo’s bandage and myself.

“It’s what my friends call me,” I lied. Now the Scootaloo was okay, my focus was starting to slip. I needed to fix up my own body now. “I’ll be right back, I just need to go get some ice for my face and some food for you.” I started to get up. “Do you promise to stay here?” The girls nodded. “Okay, I’m gonna shut the door this time so you can talk without waking up anyone.”

I walked over and closed the door. As soon as it was closed, I turned around and let the brave act I’d been putting on fall to pieces. Holy crap! Holy crap! I just brought a bunch of kids into my hall! What do I do? What do I do?! Before I could think anything else, a twinge of pain shot through my face. “Getting something cold in my face is the first order of business.”

I slumped into my room. I looked at my still sleeping roommate and thanked everything holy that he could probably sleep through the apocalypse (which was seeming much closer at hand than I thought before today). I grabbed a hand towel and some ice from the fridge and stumbled into my bathroom. Before I stuck the cloth under some cold water, I finally managed to get a good look at my face. A caked stream of blood ran below my lips and stopped at my chin. Little blue splotches dotted my face. To fully assess the damage, I also pulled up my shirt and saw small swollen areas covering my chest.

“For little kids, they really pack a punch.” I gathered some cold water in my hands and splashed my face with it. It stung a little, but it wasn’t too bad. I soaked the cloth in the cold water and then wrapped it around the ice. I cushioned it on one of the bigger bruises on my face.

With the pain subsiding, my mind was a little more clear. I brought my focus back to the kids. They are not the Crusaders. I don’t care what I saw! They. Are. Not! I just need to call up the police and get this sorted out. My stomach let out a grumble. But for now, they’re hungry and I’m hungry. I just need some help to watch over them while I cook stuff.

I walked out of my bathroom and into the hall again. I peaked into the kitchen and saw the girls were talking with each other. They didn’t notice me as I passed by the door. Just past the kitchen was the help I needed. I hoped my friend wouldn’t be ticked about being woken up early. I lightly knocked on her door.

“Ugh,” came a voice from behind the door. “Damn it, who is it?” The door swung open to reveal a short girl with blond (currently disheveled) hair. “John? Jesus, what the hell happened to you?”

“Sorry Jane, it’s kind of a long story. I could really use your help right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders are in the kitchen.”

“What?” Jane’s face completely deadpanned.

~~~

“It really doesn’t hurt anymore?” Sweetie asked Scootaloo as the former unicorn inspected the bandage.

“No,” Scootaloo replied. “He must be some kind of doctor or maybe a potion brewer like Zecora.”

“I don’t know,” Apple Bloom was also analyzing the strange box ‘John’ had left in the room. “Zecora always talked in rhymes. Plus, this definitely looks like the emergency kit Ms. Cherilee keeps at school.”

“That’s the other thing.” Sweetie frowned. “I don’t think he’s a pony.”

“Um,” Scootaloo tilted her head at her friend.“None of us are ponies right now.”

“I mean, I don’t think he was ever a pony. Did you see the face he made whenever we used the word pony or when we told him who we were? I don’t think a pony would act like that.”

“Then what is he?” Apple Bloom shivered a little as her eyes darted to the oven and the stove. “He… he said he’d make us breakfast. Ya don’t think he meant he’d eat us, do ya?”

“No,” Scootaloo bluntly replied. “Whatever he is, he still helped us. Apple Bloom, would a monster have ever carried you on his back like that?”

“But…” Sweetie started to speak up.

“Or still help us after we hit him with these weird hoof things?” Scootaloo retorted as she clenched her fist in front of Sweetie.

“I guess,” Apple Bloom eyed the ground. “But, if he was never a pony, then how’d he know about Manehattan, or hooves, or pinkie promises?”

“We’ll ask him when he comes back,” Scootaloo replied.

“I think we should ask now then.” Sweetie pointed a hand at the door as two figures entered the room.

~~~

“I swear John,” Jane’s eyes were slanted as she walked beside me down the hall, “if this is some sort of joke, you’d better have a good reason behind it.”

“Trust me Jane,” I shifted my ice bag around my face as I spoke, “I really wish I was joking. But you look at them and then tell me I’m not serious.”

“Maybe you went crazy as karma for skipping class,” Jane joked as I opened the door to the kitchen.

“By all means then,” I said in a snide tone, “join me in my delusion.” I then looked at the three girls. “Girls, this is my friend Jane. She’s gonna watch over you while I get everything ready for breakfast.”

Jane stood there with her mouth gaping open as she looked at the three girls. “John… what the fu-”

“Language,” I interrupted her as I made my way for the door.

“Wait, John! You need to run this by me again. Please?”

“Be right back!” I gave her a smile before I shut the door.

“Mister, wait a minute. We just want ask you,” Apple Bloom called out a second too late, “something.”

Jane rubbed her temples as she looked over at the three girls. “Um, hi?”

“I, uh,” Sweetie looked back and forth between her friends and the strange new creature in the room, “like your mane?”

~~~

I lost my smile as soon as the door was shut. I just sent Jane to deal with traumatized girls! I pressed the ice pack close to my head. What is wrong with me? My stomach grumbled. “Ugh, screw it, I can at least give everyone something to eat before I let the police deal with this.” I opened the door to my room and quickly went to grab the breakfast supplies.

I’m not fit to deal with traumatized girls. I grabbed PAM, a frying pan, a bowl, and cooking utensils. They need professional help. I opened my fridge and grabbed the egg carton and a bottle of milk. I just need to keep them calm until someone who knows what they’re doing can deal with them. I began to reach for the final and most important part of the breakfast ingredients: the bread. I mean to think they’re the Crusaders that… I stopped reaching for the bread. That’s just crazy. Okay, sure they sounded like the Crusaders, and looked like the Crusaders, and they genuinely cried over their families, but…

“No,” I said aloud. “They are not the Crusaders.” I firmly grabbed the plastic wrapping on the bread. “Keep it together John. You are in reality, with a beaten up face, and three scared little girls. They are not ponies!” Even though my brain wanted to believe the impossible hadn’t happened, my heart was telling me to screw reality and embrace that the Crusaders were real and they were in my hall’s kitchen. “I need to eat something,” I sighed.

I opened my room’s door with all my ingredients in tow and slouched back into the kitchen. The three girls were staring in amazement at Jane’s hands. Jane was currently performing the “severed thumb” trick. You know, that really silly trick where you use your left thumb and make it look like you’re removing your right thumb. To anyone (even a little kid) it should have seemed stupid to the extreme. Yet all the girls had been so focused on Jane’s trick, they had actually jumped a little when I entered the room. “You all ready for some breakfast?”

“Um, yeah,” Sweetie ran her hand through her hair as she talked. “Thanks Mr. John.”

“You… you can just call me John.” I walked over to the stove and set everything up. I cracked the eggs in a bowl and used a fork to mix in the milk. As soon as the milk and eggs were fully mixed together, I sprayed my frying pan and put it on the stove to heat up.

“What are ya making?” Apple Bloom asked as she slowly walked over to look at what I was cooking.

“French toast.”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “‘French?’”

“It’s, a, um…”

“It’s okay Mr. John,” Scootaloo spoke up. “You’re not really a pony are you?”

I stopped getting the bread ready. There was a long moment where all was silent in the room. “No,” I slowly answered. I expected the girls to start screaming and running through my hall at any second. I shouldn’t have left the kitchen door open.

“What… what are ya then?” Apple Bloom asked as she looked up at me.

The eyes, oh my god, the eyes. Apple Bloom was flashing me the puppy dog eyes. Just. Like. The. Show. A knife was stabbing at my heart as it beat faster and faster. Oh god, what if… what if what I wrote caused this? I-I couldn’t have done this! I couldn’t have broken reality! “I… I’m a thing called a human.”

“Is that what we are now?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yes.” Wrong! This is wrong, wrong, wrong! The room started to spin on me. I pressed my hand against my head to steady myself. Stay strong John! Stay strong!

“Are you okay?” Sweetie asked.

“Let’s just get some food for all you first.” I was acting on pure instinct, the instinct to eat something. I methodically dunked the bread in the egg and milk mixture and slapped the soaked bread on the frying pan. The bread quickly began to cook and it’s scent filled the air. I breathed in the air and relaxed a little.

“It, uh, smells really good,” Sweetie stuttered.

“It’s just a recipe my mom used,” I said as I flipped the toast slices. I then looked down at the little red haired girl. “Is walking easier for you now?” They are scared girls! Forget about them being ponies! You have to keep them calm!

“A little.” Apple Bloom kicked her feet around. “Do ya’ll trot like this all the time?”

“Um, yes. Aside from really little kids, everyone walks on two legs.” I placed three finished toast slices on a plate and handed it to Apple Bloom. “Do you think you can hold a plate?”

“I…” Apple Bloom eyed the plate. “I’m not sure.”

“Jane?” I craned my head back to look at my friend. She was lightly shaking her head back and forth. “Jane!” She stopped moving her head and looked at me.

“W-w-what?” she asked.

“Jane,” I spoke in the calmest voice I could muster. “I need you to put all the plates and utensils on the table for them, okay? My hands are kinda full right now.” As I spoke, I used my free hand to add three new bread slices to the frying pan.

“R-right,” Jane replied. She got up from her seat and took the plate from out of my hand and also grabbed the utensils. Then she looked down at Apple Bloom. “Come on… Apple Bloom.” Jane’s voice cracked as she spoke.

“Okay ma’am,” Apple Bloom replied as she followed Jane back to the table and sat down. I turned my attention back to the frying pan and flipped the second round of French toast. I first heard someone sniffing something and then a little cry. I stopped cooking and turned around to see Apple Bloom crying again.

“What’s wrong?” Jane asked as she patted Apple Bloom on the shoulder.

“Everything!” Apple Bloom cried. “This stuff, it… it reminds me of when Applejack would make me pancakes!” Fresh tears rolled down her face. “But I don’t even know what all these things are!” She ran her hands over the cheap utensils. “I… I just wanna go home and see ma sister again!”

“It’s okay Apple Bloom.” Sweetie got out of her seat and walked over to her friend. “We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders. We’ll figure out a way back home.” Sweetie gave Apple Bloom a deep hug.

“T-thanks Sweetie. But…” Apple Bloom looked back at the toast and the utensils. “How are we gonna eat that stuff?”

“Um,” Scootaloo raised an eyebrow, “with our mouths?”

I turned back and around and quickly removed the toast. It had definitely been in the pan for long enough, and I still had three more rounds of toast to make. Thank god I forgot the syrup. That would have been a disaster. Visions of the human Crusaders trying to eat the syrup covered toast with only their mouths filled my head. I shuddered a little as I put the next trio of bread slices into the pan. Then I turned back around and looked at Jane. “Jane, could you show them how to use forks and knives?”

“Yeah,” Jane’s head bobbed up and down. “Sure, sure.”

~~~

Fifteen minutes later and everyone had full plates in front of them. A few of the girl’s toast slices had been mutilated. That was the price of learning how to use forks and knives. Despite now having a basic grasp of how to use the utensils, all three girls still had death grips on their forks and knives.

“It’s just breakfast,” I said to try and get them to loosen their grips. I didn’t want them to accidentally cut or poke themselves. “It’s not gonna bite you.”

“But these things are hard to hold,” said Scootaloo as she fiddled with utensils in her hands.

“Just be careful with them, okay?” I said as I sat down at the table. “You three eat your food okay? It’s been a rough morning for all of us.” Before I touched my own food, I made sure the girls and Jane were eating something first.

The Crusaders all simultaneously punctured a piece of the toast with a fork, eyed it for a second, and then stuck the pieces in their mouth.

“This is actually pretty good,” Scootaloo said as she chewed on the toast.

Sweetie swallowed her piece but then dropped her fork on the table and frowned as she looked at Apple Bloom. “You were right, this is a lot like a homemade breakfast. It’s like something Rarity would make.” She then looked at me. “Do you know how far we are from Ponyville, Mr. John?”

“Where are we anyway?” Apple Bloom asked.

Just take it slowly with them. “You’re on a world called Earth.”

“‘Earth?’” Scootaloo asked. “You mean like the stuff the ground is made of?”

“Somewhat, it’s very far from Ponyville and Equestria.”

“That’s the other thing.” Apple Bloom put her fork and knife down. “How do ya know about Equestria, and pinkie promises, and why were you afraid of us when we told ya our names?”

“Um, John?” Jane was giving me wide-eyed look. I was probably doing the same to her.

For a few seconds there was silence in the room. “Humans…” I spoke up. “Humans like to watch other worlds and see other races’ stories. Your world has become quite popular recently.” Can I even say I’m lying anymore? I am telling the truth from a certain point of view.

“Humans,” Sweetie shrunk back a little, “watch us?”

“Hmm, maybe it’d be better if I showed you.” I got up. “I’ll be right back. When I come back, do you promise not to be scared?”

“We…” Scootaloo started, but then looked at her friends.

“We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, we’re not afraid of anything!” They all said in unison. Somehow, hearing them united put a smile on my face.

“Good to hear,” I said as I rushed to my room and quickly returned with my laptop.

“What’s that?” Sweetie asked as I sat down and opened up my laptop.

“It’s a thing called a computer. Humans use it to send letters, read books, watch stuff, and a whole bunch of other things.”

“So you don’t have a horn, but you can use magic to make this thing work?” Scootaloo asked as her eyes filled with the glow of my login screen.

“No, magic doesn’t really work on Earth. We have a thing called electricity though. It makes my computer run and the stove get hot without a fire. It has a lot of uses.”

“‘Electricity?’” Apple Bloom tilted her head. “Ya mean like lightning?”

“Kind of,” I replied as I typed my password and pulled up ITunes. “Lightning was how humans first discovered electricity. But now we use lots of other things to make it.” I was about to click on the “TV shows” button, but I stopped. “Are you sure you want to see this?” All three girls nodded and I clicked on the button.

“Twilight?!” Apple Bloom nearly pressed her face to the screen. “Why is she on your compu-thingy?”

“She’s not,” I replied. “That’s just a picture of her that the show uses.”

“‘Show?’” Sweetie asked.

“Remember how I said humans like to watch other worlds?”

“Yeah,” Sweetie quivered.

“Well, we don’t constantly watch them. We just watch little moments of each world. I clicked on the picture and then clicked on an episode. “Sorry is this seems a little familiar.” The screen shifted to show a forest.

“Are you sure about this Scootaloo?” Sweetie’s voice rang through the room, even though all Sweetie’s mouth was currently doing was gapping open in shock.

“That… that’s my voice!” she cried out. The screen moved up to show three familiar ponies attached to a rope.

“Hey! This is that time we tried earning our cutie marks with the zip line!” Scootaloo looked back and forth between the screen and me.

“This is weird,” Apple Bloom said as she watched herself and her friends get covered in tree sap. “We’re there, but we’re also here!”

“Can…” Scootaloo was staring at the table now. “Can you please make it stop?” I instantly shut the lid on my laptop. An awkward silence drifted over the kitchen. Apple Bloom was the one to break it.

“So, if humans watch us, then do things from other worlds come visit here too?” she asked.

“That’s what concerns me.” I replied. “Worlds are usually separate except for watching.” I think “impossible to actually exist” is a more suitable term. “Did anything strange happen in Equestria before you were here?”

“Well…” Scootaloo frowned as she stared hard at the table.

“We were in the Everfree when the sky turned pink,” Sweetie explained.

“Then we saw this strange light,” Apple Bloom took over. “We tried to outrun it, but first it got Sweetie Belle, then Scootaloo, and then me.”

“So the sky was pink on your side too. But that still doesn’t explain the fudge sm-” I stopped as my eyes went wide.

“John?” Jane asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Jane.” I slowly turned to her. “There’s only one other time I remember seeing pink skies and chocolate anything together.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Given those two events and the overall chaos of today it makes perfect sense. Only one thing could have caused all this.”

“W-what?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Discord.” My answer brought silence to the room.

“That statue?” Scootaloo asked.

“But our sisters and their friends…” Apple Bloom said as her lip quivered. “They defeated him.”

“I know,” I replied. Discord was a statue in the show. What am I thinking?! The show can’t be completely accurate! “But he’s the only explanation I can think of.” I looked over at my friend. “Jane, you might want to cancel your class. I’m gonna need your help with this.”

“I think I might cancel school after this.” Jane ran her hands through her hair as she spoke.

I brought my attention back to the Crusaders. “I need you to tell me everything strange that happened before you got sent here, okay?”

“Well,” Sweetie started, “it started for me when Rarity woke me up last night…”

Room and Board

I... I don’t even know anymore. The Crusader’s story was too detailed, too correct to be wrong. It was just a cartoon wasn’t it? Why them? Why three girls? Twilight or Dash, someone... somepony who was at least an “adult.” I could have handled that. But, the Crusaders? No. I have to just figure out a way to get them home... I need to find out everything I can about what happened today.

“Mr. John, does your head hurt?” Sweetie asked. All five of us were still gathered around the table. “You’ve been holding it for a while.”

“It... it’s nothing Sweetie.” I looked up at the three girls. The looks they were giving me and Jane made my heart ache. They were lost and scared and I... Oh god, what am I going to do? “I’m gonna pull out my computer again, okay?”

“What for?” Apple Bloom quivered.

“I need to see if there’s anything weird going on in other parts of the world.” I re-typed my login password and went online. I quickly typed “pink skies” into google and got instant news results. London, Belgium, Australia, various parts of the U.S., and pretty much the entire world had all been hit by the phenomenon. I skimmed through the articles and noticed that the sky had flashed twice in Australia.

“Does it say anything?” Sweetie asked with a soft voice.

“I’m not sure right now... but it looks like you may not have been the only ponies sent here.” I didn’t see anything on fudge accompanying the skies, so I typed in “pink sky and fudge” into the news bar, but got no results. I needed help. It was a long shot, but I knew one place I could go to at least talk to others about this. I went to a familiar IRC channel and typed in my screen name and the channel number “#TCB.”

09: 37 *** FMP joined #TCB

09:38 WG: Hiya FMP

09:38 FMP: Hello

09:38 WG: Is the new chapter of Reality Break coming out soon?

09:39 FMP: I don’t think so

09:39 WG: D: why?!?!!??!

09:39 Netherportal: but it was good! sadface.jpg

09:40 FMP: my writing may have screwed things up bad... really bad

09:40 WG: What?

09:40 Netherportal: OMG U GET HOOVES?!?!?!

I stalled in posting my next response for a second. I looked over at the three girls, their eyes were entranced the moving screen.

09: 42 FMP: no, I have ponies without hooves in my kitchen

09: 42 Krass: Geez thought I was the crazy one

09: 42 WG: what?

09: 43 Netherportal: I don’t get it

09: 43 FMP: The CMC are in my kitchen

09: 43 Cloudhammer: oh I get it, you’re testing out a new part of the IRC dialogue for the next chapter, right?

*** DBK has joined #TCB

09: 44 FMP: I wish. has anyone else seen the weird pink sky today?

09: 44 DBK: FMP u summon discord or something to Australia agian? I was going to work when I nearly fricking crashed my car cause of that shit. Can I get pony potion now?

09: 44 Cloudhammer: Yeah that was pretty weird

09: 44 WG: you saw that too? Huh

09: 44 FMP: has anyone here smelled fudge or found a strange person today?

09: 45 WG: wait go back to the CMC stuff, I’m still confused.

09: 45 Netherportal: This is probably gonna be great in the story

09: 45 FMP: Do I need to spell it out for you?! I found the Crusaders this morning as humans!

09: 45 Krass: oh for... pics! I demand pics!

I looked back and forth between my screen and the three girls. I knew what had to be done. “Girls, I need you to look at the screen for a second.”

“Why?” Scootaloo asked.

“I’m going to send a picture out online... like a missing kid ad.”

“Well, we technically are missing,” Sweetie said as she looked at the screen.

“Okay,” I replied. I minimized my internet browser and pulled up my photo app. “Just stand still for a second.” The girls gathered together as I took a photo of them. They were all blinking after my computer flashed for a second.

“That thing is crazy!” Scootaloo exclaimed. I hoped she hadn’t woken up anyone else. Regardless, I now had the Crusaders’ photo on my computer and it was about to be on online as well. I pulled up my internet browser again and went to the Conversion Bureau thread on ponychan and quickly posted the picture. I then returned to the IRC.

09: 49 FMP: it’s up, check the ponychan thread

09: 49 WG: I’m having the oddest sense of Deja vu

09: 49 Cloudhammer: Ha, me too, this should be funny

09: 50 Netherportal: can’t wait to see this

09: 50 Krass: sigh, this is silly

For a few seconds, the IRC was still. Then Netherportal came back.

09: 51 Netherportal: OMG! So cute! Didn’t know you had kids

09: 51 Cloudhammer: that’s really good cosplay

09: 51 FMP: it’s not cosplay, it’s the CMC

09: 52 Krass: okay, enough with the joke, still nice work on the costumes though

09: 52 FMP: I am not joking! They are in my kitchen and scared. I think it’s connected with the pink skies today! Have any of you found a pony?!

09: 52 DBK: Wasn’t being crazy my job?

09: 52 WG: you’re kinda going off the deep end FMP

09: 53 Netherportal: No he’s being brilliant

09: 53 Cloudhammer: Well I’m going back to working on First year

09: 53 Krass: I’m going back to Moving On

09: 53 FMP: wait! I need help!

09: 54 WG: Ooh can’t wait to see where this goes in the next chapter

09: 54 Netherportal: me too!

I shut the my laptop partially in anger and partially in defeat. By all extents, the Crusaders were human now and unless you talked with them face to face there was no way of proving they were the Crusaders and not just wearing cosplay. I was back to square one. “Crap!”

“What’s wrong?” Apple Bloom asked.

“No one believes me online,” I replied.

“Was that what all those squiggles were about?” Scootaloo asked.

“Squiggles?” I raised an eyebrow. “Wait a minute.” I opened up my computer again,pulled up Word, set the font to size 24, and typed, “Apple.” “Do any of you know what that says?”

“It kinda looks familiar.” Sweetie nearly pressed her nose against the screen.

“But it’s really weird looking,” Apple Bloom said as she pushed her head next to Sweetie’s.

“Is it some sort of code?” Scootaloo asked. She proceeded to shove her head next to the other Crusaders.

“Scoots!” Apple Bloom complained. “There’s not enough room for all three of us to look at it!” Apple Bloom used her head to push Scootaloo away. She didn’t notice she was using the rest of her body to push Sweetie away.

“Apple Bloom!” Sweetie complained. “Quit knocking me away from the computy thing!”

“I’m not pushing you!” Apple Bloom yelled back. “I’m trying to push back Sco–” Apple Bloom was interrupted by Scootaloo giving her a shove with her hands. She nearly lost her balance.

“That’s for pushing me away from the screen!” Scootaloo yelled.

“Um, John?” Jane nervously looked over at me.

“There wasn’t enough room for all three of us to look at it!” Apple Bloom yelled to her friend.

“Was too!” Scootaloo retorted.

“Was not!”

“Jane,” I felt my head beginning to spin again, “help.”

“I... I don’t know what to do!” Jane said in a panicked voice.

“You should both stop yelling and take turns!” Sweetie joined the cacophony.

“Who goes first then?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I do!” Scootaloo rushed to look at the screen.

“No, I do!” Sweetie rushed to look at the screen.

“John!” Jane had lost any brave act she was putting on. “We need to get them quiet before they wake someone u–”

“Shut the hell up!” A familiar voice yelled.

“Oh crap!” The color drained from my face. A door slammed and suddenly another girl was in the kitchen.

“You dumbasses shut up! I’m trying to sleep before cl– John?!” The girl’s enraged face was replaced by one of confusion. “What the hell?”

“Um, morning Sybil.” I looked down at the ground as I talked. “Sorry about waking you up.”

“Okay, what’s going on? Why are you and Jane in the kitchen with a bunch of kids?”

“Um, well,” I looked down at the three girls who had stopped arguing, “this is Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo.”

“What?” Sybil screamed.

“Hey! Shut up!” someone in the hall yelled.

“I think you might wanna shut the door,” Jane said as she pointed at the door behind Sybil.

One reality breaking story later...

“Who drugged me?” Sybil asked as she looked at me, Jane, and the Crusaders. “This is crazy!”

“Actually Sybil...” I looked at her with pleading eyes, “I was gonna ask if they could stay in your room. Since you’ve got a single and all.”

“John I can’t...”

“I’ll do the rest of your political science homework and you can have my autographed FMA DVD.”

“You’re also paying for their food.”

“Can’t we split it? I’m a college student after all, money ain’t exactly my thing right now.”

“Um,” Apple Bloom tugged at my shirt, “Mr. John, can I ask you something?”

“What is it Apple Bloom?”

“Where’s the little fillies’ room?” My face went white and my eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head.

“Sybil, you can have whatever you want if you handle this! Please!”

“Oh, um...” Sybil looked at me, then Apple Bloom, and then back at me. “You are in my debt for the rest of college.”

“Fine!” Anything was a better alternative to the hell I was about to face.

Sybil took Apple Bloom’s hand and led her back to her room. I needed to find a way to get the Crusaders home as quickly as possible.

I'm Sorry

Friday April 13th

7:27 PM

The crusaders were going to bankrupt me with what they’ve done to Sybil’s room alone. Cereal crumbs, Pop-Tart bags, flecks of instant mac and cheese, and various other bits of food covered her carpet. If she got fined, I would have to pay.

“Wow!” Scootaloo jumped up and down on Sybil’s bed.“Humans have a ton of awesome food!”

“But it’s not a good as Pinkie’s stuff.” Sweetie sat on the bed and looked up at her friend.

“Their apple juice isn’t as good as ma sister’s, either.” Apple Bloom took another sip from the apple juice bottle I’d gotten her from the snack bar.

I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes. “Sybil, why did you let them eat your food? That can’t be a good idea.”

“Don’t look at me! I had to take a shower. How do you think I felt when they were eating my stuff?” Sybil brushed back her hair as she spoke.

“Well, we need to get them real food.” I sighed. “I really didn’t want to break out my bank account.”

“Hey John,” Jane asked, “who else are we gonna tell? I mean, we can’t keep this a secret. We’re lucky the police haven’t already come here.”

“Hmm.” I clasped a hand around my chin. “Normally they’d be the first people I’d go to in this situation, but I think we should try and get a hold of CERN.”

“Um, okay.” Sybil tilted her head at me.

“Well we need a physicist or something. They’ve got to know how to fix this.” I hope.

“John, we don’t even know what exactly happened to them. I mean, it could have been Discord, but...” Jane facepalmed. “Guh, what am I even saying?”

Sweetie walked over and looked at Jane. “Ms. Jane, do humans like to put their faces in their hands a lot?”

Jane stopped facepalming and turned her eyes toward Sweetie. “Sorry, Sweetie, it’s something we do when we’re trying to understand stuff.”

“Did ya’ll get your cutie marks in thinking then?” Apple Bloom asked. “Cause ya’ll have been doing that all day.”

“That reminds me.” Scootaloo stopped jumping on the bed. “The sun set a while ago. How does that work? I mean, do you have a princess here too?”

“No,” I said. I feel like a kindergarten teacher. “See, on Earth, our planet just naturally goes around the sun.”

“Wait.” Sweetie raised a hand, signalling for me to slow down. “This place goes around the sun? Not the other way around?”

“Yeah, it also causes Earth to naturally go through seasons,” Jane explained. “So we don’t need to do things like Winter Wrap Up.” Jane paused and brought a hand to her mouth, then she turned to me. “John, I swear, if I wake up with hooves tomorrow, I blame you.”

“I didn’t do this!” I yelled, but then I lowered my voice. “Sorry, I’m just a little tired is all.”

“I believe ya,” Sybil said, “the Crusaders really did a number on you, didn’t they?”

“I guess.” My face still stung a little. All three Crusaders we’re now looking at me. “What?”

“We’re sorry,” they all said in unison.

“Girls, it’s fine. You were scared and I can’t really blame you. I’d probably wail on the first thing I saw if I wound up in a strange world. Heh, you’d make good cutie mark brawlers.”

“That reminds me,” Sweetie spoke up, “you said that humans watch us a lot, right?”

“Um, yeah.” I don’t like the sound of this.

“Okay, got it.” Sweetie nodded and then turned to her friends. They huddled together and whispered for a few seconds.

“We’ve come up with a plan!” Apple Bloom said with a smile.

“You have?” Sybil raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Scootaloo’s eyes shifted to Sweetie and then to Apple Bloom.“We’re gonna...”

“Yes?” Jane stared at them.

“Be Cutie Mark Crusader Celebrities!” the trio yelled.

“Girls!” My eyes frantically darted between the girls and the door. “Remember what I said about volume?”

“Oh, sorry.” Apple Bloom frowned a little. “But we still think it’s a great idea.”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo continued, “if we become famous, then everypony will know us and that’ll be sure to get somepony’s attention. Then we’ll just go back home when they find us.”

“And we’ll get our cutie marks!” Sweetie beamed us a smile.

Oh god, they act just like they do in the show. Please don’t...

“Hey.” Scootaloo flashed a devilish grin. “We already realized a bunch of people watch us. Technically, we’re already celebrities.”

“What are ya getting at, Scoots?” asked Apple Bloom.

“We already have a special talent for entertaining people.” Scootaloo’s grin grew wider. “You know what that means?”

Sweetie’s eyes lit up with joy. “Maybe we already got out cutie marks!”

No. No, no, no! This is not happening!

“Well, we just need to check.” Apple Bloom looked down at her overalls. “Under these weird coat things you still have a blank fl–”

I need to get their minds on something else, fast!“How would you girls like to watch a movie?”

“What’s a movie?” Sweetie asked as her hands moved away from her dress.

“It’s like a long show,” I explained.

“Hmm, that does sound interesting.” Apple Bloom rubbed her chin as she spoke. “What’s it about?”

“Your choice.” I nervously smiled at them and hoped their curiosity of Earth would overpower their desire to get cutie marks.

Scootaloo eyed Sybil’s textbooks. She extended her arms and brought her friends together. After a few more seconds of whispering, they looked back at me. “We’ve decided we want to watch something not about school.”

“Why’s that?” Sybil asked.

“Well, Mr. John said that ya’ll live at this big school, which sounds pretty awful,” Apple Bloom explained.

“So if we’re gonna stay here until we get back home, we might as well treat it like a vacation.” Sweetie smiled. “A vacation means no school!”

“Okay,” I stood up, “I got just the thing for ya. I’ll be right back.” I opened Sybil’s door and rushed down the hall to my room. I darted over to my DVD collection and picked out the box I was looking for. I then ran back to Sybil’s room. “This is actually one of my favorites.” I gave the girls the box and handed the actual disc to Sybil.

“Humans wear some pretty weird things.” Sweetie examined the box alongside her two friends.

“Yeah, he kinda looks like he’s wearing a cheetah under a weird white and grey coat thing.” Apple Bloom pressed her face close to the cover.

“It’s from a while ago,” I explained as Sybil got her DVD player started up. “People wore weird things back then.”

“Wish we could read that weird human stuff though.” Scootaloo squinted her eyes as she tried to analyze the red writing on the box. All three girls jumped suddenly when the title menu of the DVD popped up.

“Bueller, Ferris Bueller,” a young boy on the screen said while suave music played in the background.

“So if it’s not about school,” Apple Bloom tilted her head at the screen, “what is it about?”

“Um, was there ever a time you played sick to get out of school?” I asked. Sybil pressed pressed the play button.

“Oh yeah, there was this one time I was really embarrassed by Granny Smith and I didn’t want to go to school.”

“So we made it look like she was sick,” Sweetie explained.

Great, the awkwardness of knowing their lives is back. Maybe the movie will help me forget stuff for a while. “It backfired, didn’t it?”

“Yeah...” Apple Bloom’s face was dotted with red.

I watched the opening scene of the movie start to play. “Well, what if you got away with playing sick and had the best day ever?”

“Ha!” Scootaloo laughed. “Nopony could ever pull that off. If they faked sick, they’d have to stay in bed all day.”

“Ferris didn’t.” I smiled. John Hughes movies always made me feel better. “He did everything you could want to do in a day, and he did it while everyone thought he was sick.”

“Wow, wonder what cutie mark he got.” Apple Bloom’s eyes were now glued to the screen as she watched Ferris explain how to fake out his parents. All the Crusaders were now transfixed by the television.

I think they fell asleep right around the museum scene. A shame; that was my favorite part. Before I left, I helped Sybil and Jane tuck them into Sybil’s spare bed. I grasped Sybil’s shoulder, probably a little too hard. “If anything is wrong, come get me,” I whispered to her.

“Got it,” Sybil replied.

“Get some rest, John.” Jane gave me a pat on the shoulder. “You need it the most out of all of us.”

“No.” I looked back at the sleeping Crusaders. “They do.”

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t serious about the hoof stuff,” Jane apologized.

“What if I did cause this though? I’d never want to–”

Sybil lightly punched me in the arm.

“What was that for?” I rubbed the spot she had punched.

“Quit bitching and get some sleep. We’ll worry about it tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Sybil.” I smiled at her. “You’re at least direct about stuff.”

“Damn straight. Now I need to get some rest too.” Sybil quietly closed her door and left Jane and me in the hallway.

“Well, night, John.” Jane walked over to her own door. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”

“I’ll try,” I lied. “Night, Jane.”

Jane disappeared behind her door and left me alone in the hall. I slumped back to my room, turned off the light, and fell on my bed. I placed my glasses on the nightstand and passed out after that.

~~~

Saturday April 14th

7:59 AM

Bebebeep-bebebeep-bebebe–

I slammed a hand on the alarm clock. “Damn it, I forgot to change the time.”

It was eight in the morning. I grabbed my clock, fiddled with it, and set the alarm to eleven. Ugh, I really was messed up last night. No, wait, the whole day. Fricking thinking the Crusaders were real. I must have had a twenty-four hour bug or something. Eh, whatever, I’m going back to sle–

Just as I closed my eyes, there was a loud rapping at the door. I swear, unless that’s the devil on the other side of my door, I’m cracking some skulls.It’s eight on a Saturday!

I leapt out of my bed and rushed over to my drawer. Then I realized I’d fallen asleep in my clothes. Guh, I didn’t even change my clothes! I must have really been out of it. I walked to the door and looked through the peephole.

“Huh?” I pulled open the door. “Sybil? Jane? What are you...” The Crusaders were standing by them. “Jesus! What are you doing with them in the hallway?! Get inside!” I pulled the door open and gestured wildly for them to get in my room.

“Sorry, John,” Jane whispered as she entered the room.

“Don’t apologize. This is his responsibility too,” Sybil muttered. The Crusaders followed after her. I rubbed my eyes to make sure they were working properly.

“Mr. John, your mane looks funny!” Scootaloo giggled.

Sweetie frowned a little. “If Rarity was here she could probably fix your mane in a jiffy.”

“Ya look a little like Big Macintosh in the morning... hope he’s okay.” Apple Bloom walked into the room and instantly jumped on my bed. “These beds are pretty comfy.”

Aww crap, it wasn’t a dream. I sighed deeply. “What’s going on?”

“Well, we woke up,” Sweetie said. “But Ms. Sybil was still sleeping, but her camputter thing was open, so we thought maybe we’d be able to find everypony else by using it. But...” Sweetie kicked her feet around.

“I think we woke up a monster.” Scootaloo looked at Sybil and then at me.

“John...” Sybil’s voice sounded like some Lovecraftian horror. “I don’t like being woken up to Slayer.”

“N-n-now, Sybil you’ve already woken me up, isn’t that good enough?” I backed up into my drawer.

“I only said I’d let them stay in my room. When they’re awake, they’re your problem.” Sybil walked to the door and flung it open. Jane walked over to it and grabbed it before it slammed.

“Thanks.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Now what?”

“I don’t know.” Jane shrugged.

“Hey,” Scootaloo spoke up, “what’s this thing?” She pointed at my Gurren Laggan wall scroll.

“It’s from one of the shows I like,” I said.

“What about this one?” Apple Bloom pointed at my One Piece flag.

“Ooh!” Sweetie spastically flailed her arms. “I know! It’s a pirate flag! Rarity loves reading books about them! Although most of the stories are just about captive mares describing a stallion’s chest. They’re kind of boring.” Sweetie squinted her eyes. “The skull looks weird on this one, though.”

“It’s from another show I like. It’s about pirates, too.”

“You like watching stories about mares describing a stallion’s chest?” Sweetie raised an eyebrow at me.

“What?! No! It’s not that kind of show. Guh, I can’t believe Rarity really even owns something like tha– ugh, nevermind.” I looked over at Jane. “We can’t stay here.” I saw my roommate shift around in his bed a little. “Let’s just go on a walk.”

Jane turned over to the Crusaders. “Is that safe?”

“It’ll be fine with us together,” I replied as I opened the door. “Let’s just get going. I need some air.”

We left my hall and went outside. It was pretty nice out, you know, except for the feeling of being freaked the hell out.

“So is this whole world one big school?” Scootaloo asked.

“No.” I pointed at the skyscrapers that were barely visible over my school’s trees. “See those tall buildings over there?”

“Those are buildings?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “Oh ma stars! Not even stuff in Canterlot was that big!”

“So is this like some school for gifted humans?” Sweetie asked. We started to walked down the sidewalk.

“Not really,” Jane explained, “this is just a normal school and a normal town.”

“But it’s so hu–” Apple Bloom clasped a hand on Scootaloo’s mouth.

“Quiet!” Apple Bloom whispered to her friend.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

With her free hand, Apple Bloom pointed at one of my school’s parking lots. “T-those things! W-what are they?”

Sweetie huddled close to her friends. “T-they don’t want to eat us, d-do they?”

“John?” Jane turned her head to me. “They think the cars are monsters.”

“I can see that Jane.” I squatted down to the girls’ eye level. “Don’t worry, they’re not gonna hurt you, they’re just things humans use to get places... they’re like trains.”

Scootaloo pushed Apple Bloom’s hand off her face. “You drive monsters?”

“No,” I wagged a finger in their faces. “They’re just machines... like that time those two brothers came to Apple Bloom’s farm, they’re kinda like that.”

Apple Bloom furrowed her brow. “Well, if they are, then I stil don’t wanna get near them.”

“That’s probably a good thing,” said Jane. She squatted next to me. “They can go really fast, so you need to be careful if you see them, okay?”

“Okay!” the girls said in unison. We all got back up and started moving again.

“So where are we going, anyway?” Sweetie asked.

“I’d like to know too,” said Jane.

“How about we cut through the park and go to that pancake place?”

“IHOP?”

“Ugh! No!” My face must have turned a little green. “Jane, we have the Crusaders with us! We are not going to IHOP! We’re going to that good German place!”

“But the wait there takes forever!” Jane complained.

Scootaloo tugged at my shirt. “What’s a ‘German?’” We were coming up on an intersection.

“It’s the name of a country in our world, we also use it to describe their food.” I pressed the button to get the walk signal to change.

Apple Bloom started walking forward.“Is it gonna be as good as that toast stuff ya made yesterd–” I yanked Apple Bloom by her overalls. “What was that for?”

“What did I say about the cars?!” A bunch of cars zoomed through the intersection that Apple Bloom had tried to cross. “You need to look out for those things!”

“I... I...” Apple Bloom teared up.

“Oh... um...” I patted her on the shoulder. “It’s okay, I didn’t mean it. I just don’t want anyone to get hurt, okay?”

“But... but...” Apple Bloom hiccupped and rubbed her teary eyes. “I thought you could fix stuff with those medicine things.”

“I can’t fix everything. Please,” I looked at all three girls, “promise me, pinkie promise me you’ll be super careful from now on.”

Apple Bloom rubbed away the last of her tears and turned toward her friends. They nodded in agreement and stuck a hand over their eye. “We pinkie promise.”

“Okay,” I put on a false smile, “let’s go get you some breakfast then.” I stood up as the signal changed. “Jane, help me hold their hands for the street, okay?”

“Right.” Jane clasped Apple Bloom’s hand while I grabbed Sweetie’s, while Scootaloo grabbed Apple Bloom and Sweetie’s. Together, we made a formation with Jane and me on the ends and the Crusaders in the middle.

Please don’t let this be repeated. I got the distinct feeling that crossing the street would be the least of today’s hassles.

~~~

We somehow made it through the park and to the restaurant. Unfortunately, I had to make more promises to let them try out the jungle gym at the park... and the train. Thank god I avoided the zoo, that might have made things awkward.

“What would you like to drink?” The waitress asked.

“Apple juice!” Apple Bloom cried out.

“Soda!” Scootaloo yelled.

“Milk please,” said Sweetie.

The waitress looked over at me and Jane. “You two have got some crazy siblings.”

Jane eyed me for a second. “Um,yeah, it’s what we get for having our parents be friends.”

The waitress now turned to Jane and me. “So what’ll you be drinking?”

“Coffee, decaffeinated,” Jane said. I felt bad that she couldn’t drink coffee; we’d be needing a lot of extra energy.

“I’ll also have an apple juice.” Personally, I just didn’t like coffee.

“Okay then.” The waitress turned around. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

“So what’s good to eat here?” Scootaloo asked as she struggled with her menu.

“Well there’s the pancakes, but they’ve also got this thing that’s kind of like a pancake, but it’s got apples in it.” I thought back to when I’d first come here. I definitely hadn’t thought I’d be coming back under these circumstances.

“That does sound pretty good.” Instead of opening her own menu, Apple Bloom, along with Sweetie, was looking over Scootaloo’s shoulders at the menu. “What’s this apple thing called?”

“I can’t really pronounce it. It’s in German so it’s kind of hard to say,” I replied.

Scootaloo looked up from her menu.“So is this “German” place like another town?”

“No, this world has many parts to it called countries. Germany is a part of this world,” I explained.

“Oh!” A look of revelation dawned on Apple Bloom’s face. “It’s like how Zecora is from a faraway place that’s not part of Equestria.”

“Um, yeah,” Jane replied.

“But the person who worked here didn’t look that different from other humans,” said Sweetie.

I folded up my menu and looked across the table at the girls. “She’s probably not really from Germany. But some people are from different parts of Earth and they speak different languages and sometimes look different.”

“Earth is weird,” Scootaloo bluntly said.

“But it’s still got some good food,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie’s attention was on the bottles of syrups at the end of the table. “Yeah, but they sure do have a lot of different syrups.”

Oh crap.

“Hey! Maybe we can get cutie marks at Earth food tasters!” Apple Bloom grinned.

Jane and I nervously smiled at each other. Syrupstorm incoming in three, two...

~~~

“We’re really sorry!” Sweetie pleaded as we walked through the park back to campus.

“I, uh, guess we have a knack for this kind of thing.” Scootaloo nervously looked up at me and Jane as she tried to wipe some of the syrup off her shirt. Syrupstorm had been too light of a term to describe what had happened in the restaurant. A syrup nuke would be a more fitting definition of what happened. Fifty dollars in damages and a completely ruined set of clothes. Jane and I were banned for life from the place. I hadn’t even finished my breakfast by the time we were thrown out.

I brushed a hand through my sticky hair and a piece of pancake fell to the ground. “It’s my fault, I should have known better than to take ponies to someplace potentially messy. Let’s just get back to school and get cleaned up.”

“I’m with ya on that,” Apple Bloom said. A drop of syrup fell from her bow. “I guess we’d make good Cutie Mark mess makers... sorry.”

And there’s the eyes again. Seriously, Flutteryshy’s stare has nothing on Apple Bloom’s “sad eyes.” Despite being a complete mess, I just couldn’t stay mad at the Crusaders. But I was still horrified at the prospect that the Crusaders needed a bath. I sighed and looked at Jane. “I’m really sorry, but could you...”

“I need to take a shower anyway,” Jane replied. A large coffee stain covered most of her shirt. “I’m not sure how much good that will do though.”

“Thank you so much.” I breathed a sigh of relief. My eyes scanned over everyone. Now, on top of the mess from the restaurant, dirt, leaves, and whatever else lined the park’s grounds were sticking to our legs. “When we get back, I’ve got some cleaning up of my own to do. Just take my key if you need to get me, but only use it if it’s an emergency.”

“Okay,” Jane replied.

~~~

Add clogged shower to list of things I’m going bankrupt over. A half an hour of scrubbing, three quarters of a soap bottle, all my shampoo, and I still felt a little sticky. I toweled off and opened my bathroom door. Thank god I always brought at least my underwear into the shower with me, otherwise I might have scarred three ponies and a friend. I still covered myself up with a towel though. “Christ! Jane! I know I said emergency, but what in holy hell happened in thirty minutes!?”

“I...” Jane eyed the ground. The Crusaders then rushed me. They were wearing Jane’s clothes, which would probably be the only time her clothes would ever be considered baggy. Their eyes were all brimming with tears. I didn’t see any wounds on them though.

“It’s not true, please say it’s not true John!” Apple Bloom cried.

“I just wanna go home!” Sweetie yelled as she tugged at my towel.

“There’s...” Scootaloo hiccupped, “there’s no way this place can be that awful!”

“What? No... girls... I...” My head started to spin. I locked my eyes onto Jane. “What’s going on?!”

“They... um, saw my flank.” Jane blushed profusely.

“You were just lying!” Scootloo screamed. “No world could be that mean!” She turned to me and her eyes went wide. “Ha!” She jabbed a hand at my chest. “See! John has a cutie mark! You’re just trying to make us feel bad!” I noticed that Scootaloo was pointing at the birthmark along my ribcage.

Why is she... Shit. Birthmark. They think it’s...

“It’s kinda of an odd looking cutie mark though.” Sweetie had now calmed down a little. “I guess Ms. Jane was a little embarrassed about being a mare with a blank flank.”

“Yeah.” Apple Bloom rubbed her runny nose with her arm. “That explains everything.” She turned back over to Jane. “Sorry, I guess we all got a little carried away. Ya saying nopony gets cutie marks here to cover up that ya don’t have one and us for well...” her eyes darted back to her friends, “I guess we just got a little scared.” She looked up at me. “So what does your cutie mark mean anyway?”

I need to put this to rest now! Maybe... maybe telling them the truth will make them less likely to do anything dangerous while they’re here. “Girls, wait a minute. I need to put on some clothes and then I’ll explain everything.” I rushed over to my drawer, pulled out pajama pants and a t-shirt, and went back into the bathroom to put my clothes on. Then I came back out. I pointed at my bed. “Girls take a seat over there.”

“Okay,” they all simultaneously replied while they climbed onto my bed. I sat at my desk chair and Jane just leaned on my drawer.

“So is your cutie mark one of those phycoanythings?” Apple Bloom asked.

“No, Apple Bloom.” I clasped my hands hard together. “It’s not for that. I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to know.”

“K-know what?” Sweetie’s voice cracked.

“I know I’ve asked this a lot, but can you all Pinkie promise me something?” My stomach was twisting in a knot. I was about to do the equivalent of telling kids Santa wasn’t real... if kids came from a world where he was. “I’ll give you anything you want in exchange for that. Any food, any movie, I’ll spend my entire day searching for a way to get you home if that’s what it takes. Just please don’t scream or be angry.”

The Crusaders nervously looked at each other. Then they stuck a hand over their eyes. “We Pinkie promise.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry girls, no one gets cutie marks on Earth.”

Silence filled the room. Then the girls’ eyes rolled back in unison and they hit the bed with a light fump.

“That could have gone better,” Jane said.

I hadn’t bothered putting my glasses back on yet, so I was free to place a hand over my eyes and rub them. “Considering how they reacted to you, this might have been one of the better scenarios."

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

Monday April 16

I stood in a dark room with three large pillars standing in front of me. On top of the pillars, all three Crusaders cast hate-filled eyes at me. They were ponies again.

“How could you do it?!” Scootaloo yelled.

“We trusted you!” Sweetie screamed.

“Now we’re gonna be blank flanks forever because of you!” Apple Bloom pointed a finger at me. The girls were now in their human forms.

“Please!” I begged and fell to my knees. “It’s not my fault! I’m doing everything I can to fix this!”

“You shouldn’t have written those stories then!” Sweetie leaned over her pillar and glared at me.

“Yeah!” Scootaloo leaned forward as well. “Maybe if you hadn’t been so obsessed with ponies this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Girls, please! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it! I’d never want to do this to anypony!” I closed my mouth, realizing I was using ponyisms.

“That’s fine.” Apple Bloom banged a gavel on her pillar and then pointed it at me. “Let’s see how you like being a blank flank... forever!”

My right arm started to burn. I clenched it in pain and watched in horror as it turned brown and my hand started to deform into a big lump. My back started to burn as well. “I’m sorry! I can fix this! I swear!” My glasses fell off as a muzzle pushed out of my face.

“You can’t fix it,” said all three Crusaders. I collapsed as a bony wing exploded out of my back.

~~~

I sat up and breathed deeply. I swathed my hands over my body to make sure I was still human. “Oh... oh thank god!” I brought a hand to my forehead and breathed until my heartbeat went back to normal. Then I noticed the small indents all over my face. A small bit of drool covered the keyboard in front of me. My computer screen was dark now. I must have fallen asleep at the desk. I reached out and grabbed my alarm clock and looked at the time.

Digital numbers read “5:53.” I scratched my head and quietly stood up from my chair. Some of my joints cracked from being in one position for too long. The alarm had little point now, sleep was a commodity I’d given up. I need to make breakfast. It was part of my penance to the girls to make them a good breakfast every morning, it was the least I could do.

I stretched and then sifted through my fridge for eggs and milk. I silently grabbed the rest of my cookware and made my way to the kitchen. I had about forty-five minutes before the girls got up.

Somehow we’d managed to keep the Crusaders’ presence relatively hidden over the weekend. Thank god my RM couldn’t give a crap about anything on the hall. Sybil and Jane moved the girls around during the early hours when no one in their right mind would be up. Heh, “right mind”, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

I got into the kitchen and started preparing breakfast. I mixed the eggs, milk, and seasoning in a bowl and then poured it into the frying pan. “A fitting meal for a monster.”

After I told them about the cutie marks, things were rough to say the least. If they weren’t crying, they only talked to Jane and Sybil. Not that I made attempts to talk with them. I couldn’t even face them after what I’d done. Instead, I poured all my effort into finding a way back home for them. Countless emails were sent, numerous chat rooms were visited, and hundreds upon hundreds of sites were visited. My eye twitched a little as I watched the eggs cook.

All I got for my online efforts were either compliments on what a good cosplay the Crusaders had or that I was crazy. My attempts at visiting physics websites went even worse. It was like reading an entirely different language. I just got odd stares when I talked to the professors at school. I couldn’t tell them everything and vagueness didn’t get me anywhere. Too much information and I’d be on NBC by nighttime. I had virtually no leads.

I mechanically moved the egg mixture around with a spatula. I drifted off for a second and then had to hurry to make sure the scrambled eggs didn’t burn. I hadn’t touched my bed since I told the CMC about cutie marks. I’d either been moving around campus trying to talk to professors without setting off alarm bells or going online and trying to find something, anything to help. I probably crashed a few hours ago, I think I was on ponychan again.

I was just pouring the eggs onto the plates when they came in. I didn’t turn to face them. I moved the plates over to the table. I quickly moved past them. Jane grabbed my arm. “Wait.”

“There’s some for you too,” I mumbled. “I need to get back to work.”

“Wait.” It wasn’t Jane’s voice this time. Something tugged at my shirt. I think it was the one I wore when I told the truth to the girls. “Mr. John, can ya just have breakfast with us?” Aside from the eyes, Apple Bloom also had a certain tone that that could only be described as “puppydog.”

“I... I can’t. I need to get you home.” My eyeballs hurt now. That happened when I was too focused on something without enough sleep. I didn’t care, I had work to do.

“Please,” Sweetie cried out. I felt another hand tug at my shirt. “We know we cried a lot, but Ms. Jane said you did it to help us. We didn’t believe it at first, but then she explained how things are different here. How it’s easy for somepony to get hurt here and how you were worried if we tried to get our cutie marks, we’d get really hurt and never get home.”

“I...” Please, don’t make me face you. Not after what I said.

“Yeah and you looking worse than Twilight after that time with the doll isn’t going to help,” Scootaloo nonchalantly said.

“Scootaloo!” Both Sweetie and Applebloom yelled at her.

“Well, it’s true,” Scootaloo replied. “Besides, Mr. John is trying his best and he seemed really sad about telling us. I’m sure he didn’t want to tell us. He was just looking out for us.”

“I tried,” I sighed. “Girls, you have to understand, this world is so much different than Equestria. It’s not just about the cutie marks. It’s something kids like you shouldn’t deal with.”

“But it’s not your fault,” said Apple Bloom.

All of the past forty-eight hours hit me like a stack of bricks. I slumped in Jane’s arm. “John!” she cried out. I hit a wall and slid down. “Oh my gosh! What’s wrong?”

“I-I’m just tired.” I looked at the girls. “I’m sorry girls, but thanks. Eat your breakfast.” Then I was out.

Softness was the first thing I noticed. I hadn’t yet opened my eyes, but I knew a bed simply by touch. My god, did a bed feel good. Then I remembered I’d passed out in the kitchen. My eyes flared open and I looked around. I was in Sybil’s room. Everyone was there.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Sybil said.

Then, just to emphasise that I was awake, the CMC jumped on the bed and gave me a hug. A hug that was crushing my ribs. “Mr. John!” They all cried.

“Ugh, crushing! Ow!” They scrambled off, but I could still feel the nearly cracked ribs throbbing in my chest. I turned over to Jane and Sybil. “How long was I out?”

“It’s five now,” Jane answered. I saw that outside the sun was beginning to dip.

“Jeez, I was really out of it, wasn’t I?” Aside from the fake smile, I was also a master of the cocky grin.

“You hadn’t slept since Saturday, right?” Sybil asked.

“Maybe,” I replied.

Sybil gave me a punch in the arm. “Idiot, that’s the sort of stuff reserved for finals. We could have searched in shifts you know.”

“I know but...” I looked at the Crusaders. “I still feel bad about telling them.”

“Stop beating yourself up!” Sybil complained. “You told them, they forgave you, now move on.” Sybil pushed her hand against her forehead. “Guh, you know we both missed class because of you. We had to look out for you while taking care of them as well. You owe us.”

“Okay, okay.” I slowly got out of the bed. At least my eyes didn’t feel like popping out of my head anymore and I couldn’t feeling every single one of my heartbeats. “I’ll cut you a deal, how about I make tuna cassar—” I remembered our guests. Okay, vegetarian places... where it’s hard to make a mess. Crap! Why’d I have to go to school in Texas?! Everything has meat here! Where’s a good... “Got it! Sybil, you mind driving? I’m paying for it all.”

“What’d you have in mind? It better be close.” If I didn’t have my eyes on my phone, I’m sure I’d be seeing Sybil giving me a death glare.

I pulled out my phone. “I think it should be.” I clicked in my password and and pulled up my Yelp app.

“What’s that?” Sweetie asked. I gave her a cursory glance. The light of my phone sparkled in all the Crusaders’ eyes. Guess an Iphone was pretty amazing to ponies from a world where you could float things with a thought. What’s everyday here is magic there and vis-versa. Ugh. My head was spinning a little thinking about the two worlds.

“Remember my computer?” All three Crusaders nodded in response. “It’s like that.” My eyes focused back on the screen. I typed in vegetarian and filtered it down to closest places. A place called Tranquil popped up. I gave it a quick glance. The reviews sounded good even if the price rating was a little high, but it was the closest place. “Got it.” I passed the phone to Sybil. “Think you can drive there?”

“No problem,” she replied. “You better pay for it though.”

“I promise.” I pulled out my wallet and looked at my credit card... the emergency one. Mom and dad are gonna kill me.

“John,” Jane spoke up. “You don’t need to do that.”

“It’s fine.” I stared down at the Crusaders. “It’s probably nothing compared to what you normally eat, but it should be pretty good.”

~~~

Oh yeah, the whole “cars are monsters” thing.

“It’s not gonna hurt you,” I assure the girls.

“You let it eat you!” Sweetie yelled. Sybil was impatiently sitting in the driver’s seat. She was tapping her hands on the wheel. She probably wasn’t happy about squeezing five other people—well, two people and three ponies turned human— into her car. She hadn’t liked it when my friends and I clown car-ed in it before.

“It doesn’t eat you,” Jane explained. “You just get in it like...” She snapped her finger. “Like a sky carriage!”

“But only super special ponies get ta ride those!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “I’ve only seen Princess Celestia ride ‘em! I mean, I heard Twilight also used them, but still, ya must be really special.” Then she looked around and saw all the other cars. “Is everypony here super special?”

I bent down and put a hand on Apple Bloom’s shoulder. “Not really, here a lot of people own cars.”

“Do you?” she asked.

“No, my car’s at home.”

“I thought this was your home.”

“Kinda, but my real home is far aw—”

“Hey, John! What’s up?” Oh crap. No! Not him. Oh dear god, not... “You all heading out?” Sean walked over.

“Get in the car,” I hissed to the girls.

“What?” Scootaloo asked.

“Just get in. We need to get going.” I shoved all three girls unceremoniously in the car and then got Jane in also. Sean was right by us now.

A word to the unfamiliar. Sean’s the reason I got into MLP. I think he was a fan from the start. Really didn’t help that he looked and acted like he was off of Jersey Shore. Yeah, brony that could belong on that show, crazy world. Plus, he made my love for the show look miniscule. He would not, could not see the Crusaders. That’d be the end of the world. “So who are the kids?”

CrapCrapCrap! “M-my c-cousins!” I jumped into the passenger seat.

“Neat. Ya never mentioned them before.” Sean peaked at the girls, who gave him confused looks. It was probably the artificially blond hair. “They into anime or something? They got some pretty crazy hair.”

Oh, so that’s what a heart attack feels like. Needless to say, my heart was about ready to burst out of my chest like it was in a Ridley Scott movie.“Would really love to talk, but we’ve got reservations!” I twisted at breakneck speeds to Sybil. “Let’s go! Don’t want to be late!” Yup, that forty-eight hours of no sleep was definitely still messing with me. Now it had decided to set my panic button to easy. Luckily, Sybil saw past my panic and the fact that Sean finding out would have the police on me in a second. She hit the gas and pulled out at record speeds. We left Sean in the dust. I’d apologize later.

“Who was that?” Sweetie asked.

“Jane,” I said as I turned around. “Seat belts.” While Jane clicked them in I explained, “A friend.”

Scootaloo squirmed around a little in her belt. “If he’s your friend then why’d you not want to talk to him?” Despite the squirming, I was glad she was secure, as were the other Crusaders. Unfortunately, they took up the three back seats, which banished Jane to a corner of the car’s floor.

“Remember how I said you’re famous here?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Sweetie replied.

“Well, Sean’s a really big fan. If he knew who you were... it wouldn’t be good. That’s why we’ve had to keep you in the rooms... sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. Maybe being a celebrity wouldn’t be that good. I remember this one time Rarity got all nervous and that was because Fluttershy got famous.” The color drained from Sweetie’s face. “Oh no! Fluttershy! What if she’s here too? What if somepony who’s a fan finds her and makes her really famous?”

“I... I’m sure she’d be fine.” Secretly, having Fluttershy get at least a little attention would be good if she was here. Maybe I’d find a link then. “She did take down a dragon once and she saved you from a cocktrice.”

“Cockawhat?” Scootaloo asked.

“The monster that turned ponies to stone.” Now I just felt wrong about mentioning the show. It was like high level stalking.

“You saw that?” Apple Bloom’s eyes went wide in shock.

“Sorry,” I meekly replied. Yep, Chris Hanson will be waiting for me in Hell.

Sybil pulled the car to a stop. “We’re here.” I offered up a prayer to god for ending the car ride before things got even more awkward. The moments where reality and fiction blended took a worse toll on me than lack of sleep. Thankfully, eating was the most basic of all desires, for both ponies and humans. The rumbling in my stomach focused my mind. I needed food, friends needed food, and the Crusaders needed food. We were getting some food, no matter the cost.

~~~

Evidently, that cost was some nice clothes. Everyone else at the restaurant was decked out in dresses and button down shirts, while we were in t-shirts and jeans. The fact the Crusader’s clothes didn’t even fit made the whole thing even more awkward. “Um...” I looked over at the maître d'. Crap, there’s a maître d'. “Party of six.”

Man, this guy looked disgruntled. I’m sure if he had a mustache he’d be ruffling it in snooty fury. I think I must have caused him a breakdown or something, cause his eye started twitching. He let out a large sigh. “This way.” I think he mumbled, “Should have had a dress code.” Whatever, a table was a table. It’s not like I’d never dealt with a jerky waiter before, I think everyone has at some point.

“Wow.” Apple Bloom craned her head around the restaurant and focused on all the neat tableclothes and silverware. “Why, I haven’t seen anything like this since we all went to Canterlot for the pageant.”

“I remember that,” Sweetie exclaimed. “I think Rarity made it sound really weird, but it was nice an—”

“Easy for you to say,” Scootaloo interrupted. “You didn’t get your tongue stuck to a giant candy cane.” The other girls giggled at this. Scootaloo turned bright red. “S-shut up!”

“Somehow I get the feeling this place isn’t as fancy as Canterl—” I bumped right into the maître d'.

“Ugh,” he grunted. “Your booth, sir.” He began to walk away with an upturned nose, but turned his head around to get in some final words. “We don’t have kids menus.”

“He sounds a lot like the mean prince Rarity met,” said Sweetie. Jane, Sybil, and I looked at each other and then we laughed. “What?”

Jane giggled a little more. “We think he’s a jerk here too.”

Sweetie corked her head at Jane.“Really? How can a prince be a jerk? I asked Rarity the same thing, but she just said...”

“Cake?” said Sybil.

Sweetie tilted her head, looked at the the other Crusaders, and then turned back to us. “Does that Care-tone thing show everything?” Scootaloo asked.

I sighed again, the talk about the show really took it out of me. I waved a hand over to the booth. “Why don’t we look over the menus a little first? I get the feeling they want us out of here as fast as possible.” I noticed that the maître d' was still giving us the stink eye from his little stand at the front of the restaurant.

“Okay,” all three Crusaders replied.

“Where should we sit?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Why don’t you three sit on one end of the booth,” Jane suggested. “It’ll be easy for you to get out if you need to use the bathroom.”

“Jane, Sybil, you two sit on the opposite end then.” I shuddered a little. “The girl’s room is something I’d rather not deal with.” I slid into the booth and took up the middle position. Everyone else followed suit.

“Well, the little fillies’ room isn’t too bad, it’s just annoying to wear all these cl—” I slammed a menu down and opened it to shut Scootaloo up.

“W-why don’t we look over the menu? I-I’m sure they some good stuff here.” I stuffed my face into the menu and pushed out the nightmare in my head. Not my problem, Sybil and Jane can deal with that. I relaxed a little and looked at the menu. Oh sweet, they got soft-shell crab here. I smiled for a second. Then my eyes must have gone a foot outside of my head. Crab?! Damnit Yelp! It said this place was vegetarian. If the menu hadn’t been so thick, I’d probably be crushing it in half. Okay, just stay calm, order for the girls and it’ll be fi—

“Oooh!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. “What’s this? It’s got a lot of scribbles next to it, so it’s probably good, right?” She was pointing a finger right at the venison dish.

Okay, something has it out for me. I looked up from my menu. Sybil and Jane must have looked as pale as I did. “Um, you probably wouldn’t like that. Actually, I’ll order for you! Humans use such different words than ponies do.”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo replied. “What’s up with that? You talk like we do, but all your writing is weird. It’s like somepony just scribbled on everything.”

All three of of us breathed deeply. Thank god for illiteracy. “Okay, well they’ve got lots of great salads here.” I scanned the menu for stuff that I was sure didn’t have meat in it. Thankfully, the salads did fulfill that role, along with a some noodle dishes.

A few minutes later, we’d ordered and were now playing the waiting game. The girls kept staring at me. “Something wrong?” I asked.

“You’re not gonna go crazy are ya?” Apple Bloom spoke up.

“What? No, I was just a little sleepy is all. Trust me, it’ll take more than a little lack of sleep to get to me,” I lied. Yeah, just add running into cartoon ponies, taking care of them, and then telling them they’re essentially in Hell. Yep, that’s a good mental breakdown right there.

“Okay.” Sweetie wasn’t looking at my eyes, but rather above it. “It’s just your mane kinda looks like Twlight’s that time with the doll.”

“Or ma sister when she tried to buck all the apple trees on the farm.”

“Or Rainbow Dash when Mare Do Well was in town.” Scootaloo rubbed her hand around her chin. “Wonder whatever happened to her.” Have I mentioned the growing creepiness of knowing pretty much everything about Equestria? Yeah, now it’s at DEFCON-2. Crap, how much of that stuff was actually private? The hunger in my stomach decreased a little.

“Don’t worry, my hair’s always messy.” I ran a hand through my hair. There were a few more knots than usual. It also had the greasy feel it only got when I pushed myself too hard. I turned to Sybil with a sad look on my face. “You might need to decontaminate your bed.”

“No crap,” she huffed. “Tch, we should have waited for you to take a shower or something.”

I awkwardly scratched my face. “Sorry, I’ll do that as soon as we get back.” I noticed Scootaloo scratching the t-shirt she was wearing. “Actually, can we make one other stop?”

“I suppose,” Sybil sighed. “I still have work to do though.”

“Don’t worry.” My eyes traced over to Jane and the Crusaders. “I just think we should let Jane have her clothes back and get the girls something that actually fits.”

Jane gazed at the girls for a second. The collar on Sweetie’s t-shirt went down to her shoulders. “Well, that’d probably be best.”

A waiter, thankfully a different one, came up with a cart carrying our food. “Your meal.”

A few seconds later, we all had our food in front of our faces. None of us had ordered meat. Now, I’m a pretty big beef eater and not having it for the past four days was getting to me. I’d probably grab something from the food mart on campus later. The vegetarian gnocchi wouldn’t hold me over. I still had work to do on finding a way back to Equestria. I’d just watch my sleep more carefully now.

All three girls grabbed their forks like they were about to stab someone and jabbed them into their salads. Three large clacks resounded throughout the restaurant that probably turned a few heads. I didn’t care, they got their food and we got ours. I was about to dig into my own food when I saw that attached to Scootaloo’s fork was a piece of pinkish-grey me— “No!”

I lunged forward. “Whoa!” Scootaloo exclaimed. I managed to get everyone’s food all over myself in the process of getting the duck meat away from Scootaloo. I crashed to the ground along with a couple of glasses and plates. “Ugh! I’m gonna kill whoever put meat in the food.”

“Oh...” came a voice behind me.

I got up and shook off meal. Then came a tap on my shoulder. It was the maître d' again. I think flies would tell this guy to lay off the shit-eating grin. “I’m sorry sir, we’ll have to ask you and your party to leave.”

“Er, fine. Come on.” I waved a hand but didn’t look the others. “We’re leaving.” I stormed out without hearing what anyone else had to say. I waited by the car but didn’t have to wait long. They all rushed out. Sybil trailed behind, her eyes on the ground.

“Mr. John, are you okay?” The Crusaders simultaneously asked. They all had the puppy dog eye now. Stop it! Just stop it! Guh!

I sighed deeply. “I... I’m fine, I just need to clean up a little.” I noticed that my little stunt had gotten pretty much everyone messy. “Heh, great, looks like I’m as good as you are at making messes.”

Apple Bloom giggled a little. “At least we’re not sticky this time.”

“You got me there,” I replied. I craned my head at Sybil, who had just caught up with the rest of us. “Oi Sybil, how about we go to the mall near school, grab some ice cream, and get some clothes at a Gap?”

“Y-yeah.” She kept her eyes on the ground.

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I kinda ordered that salad.”

“What?!” I snapped. I strode right into her face. “You mind telling me why you got the one thing that could possibly kill them!” My hand shot out at the Crusaders.

“K-kill us?” Sweetie stuttered.

“John.” Jane walked over, her hands raised in apprehension. “I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration.”

“Yeah?” My eyes were fully open in anger. “Well a few days ago, saying cartoon ponies existed was a bit of an exaggeration! Now we’ve got... crap.” All three girls were shaking and huddled together. I felt dizzy. I braced myself against Sybil’s car. “Just... just take us back to school. I’m not fully recovered.”

We all silently got into the car. The ride back was silent as well. I clasped my hands together. A hand reached out to grab my shoulder. It was Apple Bloom’s. “Mr. John, are you okay?”

“I’m sorry Apple Bloom, I’m not. I’m tired, I’m angry, and I’m no closer to getting you home. I don’t even know if anypony else is out there.” Too tired to filter my words. Yes, I’m a monster to the nth degree.

“You fixed my leg, I’m sure you can help.” Somehow, Scootaloo being nice hurt more than if she’d yelled at me. I turned around and said nothing. A knot in my stomach tightened.

~~~

We got out of the car at the school. I pulled Sybil aside while Jane walked the girls to the room. “Look, we both screwed up tonight. I’m in no condition to deal with kids let alone ponies. I just need you to go to GAP or wherever tomorrow and get them some clothes. It’s not fair to Jane to have her lending out her clothes.” She opened her mouth, but I raised my hand to stop her. “I know, I’ll pay for it.”

“No.” Sybil pushed my hand down. “I’ve got it this time. It’s my fault for ordering the duck salad. Sorry, I didn’t think it’d be bad if it was hidden in the greens.” Her eyes narrowed in anger and she pursed her lips. “Tch, stupid waiters.”

“Heh, Yelp’s a piece of crap.” We both laughed at that. I place a hand on Sybil after we finished our little lapse in sanity. “Take care of them, I think I’m off to bed for a bit.”

“You mean more like eight hours?”

“Yeah, something like that.” We walked back to the dorm and I went back to my room and she went back to hers. I closed my door just as she rapped on Jane’s. The Crusaders were in good hands and I needed my rest.

I strode through my room and place my hand on the bathroom door, but I paused. I’ll be knocked out after the shower. I looked back at my computer, I hadn’t even closed it. This morning felt like an eternity ago. Then again, everything felt so long ago, back when things made sense. “What the hell,” I sighed. “Might as well give one more check.”

I clicked my computer and logged in. My last site had been Ponychan. I reloaded it and got pretty much the same replies I’d gotten before. A whole bunch of “fake”, “bullshit”, “nice costume”, and “weirdo”. Eventually a mod had locked the thread. I tried to post a new thread, but I saw I was banned. “Crap.” Should have been more careful with words. Stupid internet, bans me for seeking actual help, but keeps the twelve year olds who scream enough profanity to make a sailor blush. I typed in a new address and pulled up FIMfiction. “Heh, this’ll totally work,” I sarcastically droned to myself. I logged in and clicked the chat icon.

[20:08] == Fullmetal_Pony has joined #fimfiction

20:08 Oh look it’s crazy guy

20:09 Hey, I like this guy’s stories. What you going Daniel Day Lewis on this?

20:09 I legitimately am looking for help. Has no one else seen the odd lights in the sky, smelled fudge, and found a strange person nearby?

20:09 this again? Come on man, you were doing this for like what ten hours yesterday

20:09 Try twelve

20:09 I really liked Sweetie’s mane!

20:09 Geez man, you need help

I was at the end of my rope. I hammered the text onto the screen. I gritted my teeth.

20:10 Yes! Yes I do! For god’s sakes this is the internet! You’re telling me no one else has found a pony and bragged about it or sought help!?

20:10 Idiot

20:10 Troll. How do we call the mods

[20:10] == TheSlorg has joined #fimfiction

20:10 Heya everyone. Anything strange going down? Other than Horse Power x Featherweight shipping.

20:10 Cosplay!

20:10 eh, just ignore him. Trolls’ll be trolls

20:11 sounds good, hey anyone see the new promo for the Royal Wedding?

20:11 Eh, nothing much. Seems more like games. I bet none of it’ll be in the real finale

20:11 Oh lawdy no cosplay please. Anything else?

20:11 I bet some of it’ll work in. Bet DJ-PON3 will be there

20:12 Please! If somepony has found a pony please help! Please!

“Please,” I pleaded. My eyes stung. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so frustrated. Everything was wrong and there was no help. I reached my hand out to shut the computer. “Screw it, the internet is useless.”

[20:12] == TheSlorg has changed nick to Pilnkuy

20:12 Ohoi ohg! Wasrt weaiyt who’;d you fionfd/!

“Huh?”

20:12 what are you talking about?

The IRC continued to move, but I kept my eyes on whoever Pilnkuy was. Suddenly, another window opened up. Pilnkuy had queried me.

20:14 Sorry about that. I had to go afk a second. You were saying something about finding ponies?

20:14 What?

20:14 Ponies. Why are you talking about finding ponies?

20:14 Why? You here to call me crazy too?

20:14 I think everyone in here is crazy. Some more than others. Speaking of which, did you see pink skies a few days ago?

My pace quickened.

20:14 Did you smell fudge?

20:17 Maybe. But I sure as hell didn’t find any fudge. Do ‘hooves’ mean anything to you? Or former hooves.

20:17 Whodidyoufind?!

20:17 Who said I found anyone. Hooves, mate. What do they mean to you?

I paused typing. This is it. I sucked in so much air it felt like my lungs were gonna break. Okay, he’s probably gonna call me crazy too. I brought my hands back to the keyboard.

20:17 I found the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

There wasn’t an immediate response. “Heh, of course there wouldn’t be an instant response. He’s probably screencapping it to show off.” I sighed. “What a fricking jo—”

20:20 YIUfki;dsftrjhecxiutrijewmnsaewcxruidsasdfeerd/21/1212

20:20 What?

20:20 Apologies. There’s a couple of pink-haired girls with me who are very interested in what you just typed. You might recognize them if what you’re saying is true. Where are the crusaders?

“What?” I said aloud. Take it slow. Take is slow. This is the internet, just be slightly vague. I’m still not sure if this is the real deal or not.

20:22 Central United States. Did you find some

I paused for a second and rewrote the words.

20:23 Did you find somepony?

20:23 Are the crusaders safe? I need to know how you’re dealing with them before you’re going to find anything else out.

I played the words out in my head before I typed them. The lack of sleep, the disastrous dinner, and the accumulated stress had torn down all the barriers. Now I just wanted help. Being honest was the only way to get it.

20:23 I’m trying my best, but I’m scared. I’ve been looking everywhere for help and trying to keep them out of harm, but everything keeps going wrong. I just want to get them back to Equestria no matter what.

20:23 You could try harder. You go telling the world you have the Cutie Mark Crusaders and eventually someone’s going to believe you. Then what? You get media attention. Military. Rabid bronies.

20:23 Don’t worry. I think you might be alright, but you need to be more careful. Discreet. I’ve kept Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel a secret for days. How many people know about the crusaders?

“Oh crap.” What if this guy’s right? I mean, I haven’t been careful at all, I’ve just been looking for a way to get them ho— I think I felt my eyes on the back of my glasses.

20:23 You said Pinkie, Fluttershy and Angel? God, what if everyone else is here too?

20:23 I hope not. Dealing with these three is breaking me balls. Pinkie got ahold of Coke and chased me through the outback, Fluttershy almost died when she got bit by a redback, and Angel kicked me in the bloody shin.

“Holy Crap!” I nearly fell out of my chair. I had to flail at my desk to keep from falling to the ground.

20:24 Holy crap PM everything! I need help. I don’t know what to do. The CMC are here, but I can’t take care of them.

I pressed “enter” and then something clicked in my head. “Outback!”

20:24 Wait! Please tell me you’re not in Australia

20:24 Why? Are you here, too? I suspected there might be more ponies here since I ended up with three. Well, two and a bunny. I’m in Sydney. Where are you, Yass?

I took some deep breath, but my heart was still beating like a drum.

20:25 In Texas, US. Crap, I’m on the other side of the Pacific. Please PM everything you know and I’ll PM you everything I know.

20:26 Right. Just a word of warning, mate...

20:26 You seem alright. But I want those kids kept safe. Don't blow it by giving away their identity, and don't let them get hurt.

20:26 Never! Even if it wasn’t a pony I’d be a monster if I let a kid get hurt! Although, I did already get covered in syrup in the process... don’t ask

Crap, I’ve already hurt them... should I tell him about the cutie marks?

20:26 What? What are you doing with syrup around them? Do I need to come kick your ass right now? I have connections.

20:26 What no! It’s just I wanted to get them some good food and well I think before this is over I’ll be kicked out of every restaurant in Texas.

20:27 Right. Sorry about that, but I’ve got enough problems to deal with without having to find out the Crusaders were found by a weirdo.

20:27 No! That was actually what I thought when I first found them. Not sure what would have been a worse scenario.

20:27 …

20:28 Pinkie asks if the syrup is good.

20:28 *sigh*

20:29 I guess, I only got through half my pancakes before we got thrown out.

Suddenly, I got an ache in my head, like super migraine level stuff. “Ow! Christ!” I rubbed a palm against my forehead. Ugh! It’s like someone decided to drill a hole in my head. I looked at the screen, it was all blurry looking, even with my glasses. “Damn it. I can’t type like this anymore.”

20:29 Damn. I’m really sorry, but room is spinning on me. I’ve been looking for the past two days, no sleep, for stuff to help the Crusaders. Now it’s all hitting me at once. Just please please pm everything. I’ll get back when I’m in in a proper condition.

20:30 Right, whatever. I’ll PM you more info. Just be quiet about this stuff and keep the girls safe. I can book you a flight to Sydney within a week. Keep them safe until then. We don’t need any more problems.

20:31 I promise

[20:31] == Pilnkuy has quit

I logged out as well and shut my computer. For now, rest was the thing I needed. I stood, but I must have gotten up too fast, the whole room spun on me. I braced myself against the desk and brought a hand to my head. “Damn sleep deprivation. Ugh, why couldn’t I be addicted to energy drinks like everyone else in college.” Regrettably, my fridge was quite bare. “Crap, I need to wash my face and get everything in order.” I stumbled over to my bathroom.

Okay, stay cool John. You’ve got your lead. Hell, you’ve got more than a lead, you found Pinkie and Fluttershy. Before I let the faucet run, I looked up at the ceiling. “Oh god, please, please please don’t let this be someone messing with me.”

I turned on the faucet. I could have sworn the water rushing sounded off, like it was laughing or something. Ugh, now my hearing is going off. Perfect time to find a lead. I jabbed my hands under the lukewarm water and splashed it on my face. Then I scooped up more and continued splashing. It felt really good on my worn out face. I didn’t care that it was soaking my shirt, it was a mess anyway. After probably five minutes of this, I turned the faucet off and dried my face with a towel. I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

Geez, I look like crap! Wait... My reflection was too short. The hair is the wrong color and so are the eyes. I know my clothes were a mess, but they weren’t rags. The reflection looked like a bum. “The hell?” Did I finally snap completely? I waved a hand and it waved its hand. I picked up my glasses and while it mimicked putting on them on, it had no glasses. “The hell?” I repeated. Then it did something on its own. It banged on the glass. I backed away. “Oh man, mental breaks be damned, this is mindfuck now!”

Suddenly, like something out of freaking Inception, the mirror turned all liquid and the reflection tumbled out of it. “Oh screw this crap!” I fell back into my shower stall. The little bathroom stand clattered on top me, sending various soaps and shampoos onto me. The reflection man was moving now. Needless to say, I was crapping bricks at this point. My life had turned into The Ring meeting Stranger than Fiction. Screw these delusions! I’m getting Jane. The reflection man was getting up. He had a wild look in his eyes that sent shivers through me. He’d been around something foul, not in the sense of smell, just wrong, like he was something that shouldn’t be. I placed a hand on the shower stand. My vision was split into three colors now, the room was spinning, and my heart could put Dragonforce to shame at the rate it was going.

The man looked at me. “Hell—”

I hit him with the shower stand. Then I clambered to my feet and darted for Sybil’s room.

Mirror Madness

Mirror Madness

Mirror Madness
By Draequine and Fullmetal Pony

Door?! Where’s the damn door!? I tripped, hit the ground and got back up again. Flailing, yes, very panicked flailing at something, anything. Escape! Gotta get out! I slammed into something hard. What? What?! It took me a second to register what I was hitting was a white plaster wall. Then I saw the fake plastic brown and the metal knob. Door! I lunged at it and pulled down and flung the door open like it was trying to kill my family.

The hallway. Yes, I’m out in the hall— “Ow!” Metal grinded into my side. I’d slammed right into the door on the opposite side of the wall. I slowly slid down to the ground clutching my side. “Ugh!”

Note to self: door knobs hurt like hell if you apply enough pressure. Everything was spinning and the pain wasn’t helping. The hallway seemed to smack me in the face, but then extended to infinity. I tried to get up, but the hit from the knob stung too much. I crawled forward. I had to go get help.

There were voices now. Something moved to my right. That was the side I’d been hit on. The side of the hallway where the door was. “What’s going on? John? What are you doing?”

I didn’t know who it was. I didn’t care. I kept crawling. I had to get to Sybil’s room. The voices continued. Shut up! Just shut up!

“Fine! It’s fine! I just tripped!” I kicked my feet against the ground. They slid a few times against the carpet, but I somehow managed to pull myself up. I clawed at the white plaster walls and propped myself against them.

“Are you su—”

“Yes! Don’t worry. Just a little tired!” What was my volume when I said that? Didn’t matter. Sybil’s room was closer now.

Damn it! The door had really hurt. I clutched my side with my left arm while I propped myself against the wall with my right arm. I dragged along the hallway. My god was the hallway long now.

Suddenly, the fake brown plastic was back. The numbers on the false wood door, I knew them. Yes! This is it! I hit and pounded against the door. Then it finally gave way. I fell right on top of Sybil.

“You idiot! What the hell?!”

I grasped at her shoulders. “Crazy man! Room! Help! N—” I saw white as my face burned from a hard slap to my left cheek.

“Calm the hell down!” Sybil yelled. She pulled me up by my shirt and pushed me onto her bed. “Jesus, I thought you were going to take a shower and let sleep mellow you out. Then you burst in here and scare everyone half to death.”

“Yeah, what happened?” Sweetie asked. “You look like you just saw a ghost or something... ghosts aren’t real here, right?”

“Ahh.” I rubbed my now-red cheek to take away some of the pain. My vision focussed again. Five pairs of eyes were staring at me. “Okay, I might have needed that.” I breathed deeply through my nose and took a giant exhale. “A man popped out of my mirror.”

“You need to lie down and go to sleep,” Sybil bluntly stated.

I slammed my fist into the bed with a loud fwump. “I’m serious! I went to go wash up before I went to sleep, but then my mirror went nuts on me!” I threw my arms up in a grand gesture. “Next thing I know, there’s a dude on the ground looking like the long lost Manson family member!”

Apple Bloom shifted around in her bed and looked over at me. “Ya sure ya weren’t just hallucia.... hillassa... seeing weird things?”

While the pain in my cheek was fading, the pulsating feeling in my eyes wasn’t going away at all. I shifted my glasses up and rubbed my eyes to at least temporarily relieve them of the feeling. I let out a deep sigh. “Maybe that part wasn’t real. With everything that’s happened in the past few days I can’t tell anymore.” I stopped rubbing my eyes and looked over at the Crusaders. “I wanted to rest and think about this, but there’s something else.”

“What?” Sweetie asked.

“I found Pinkie and Fluttershy.”

“What?!” All three Crusaders exclaimed. Then they jumped me. There was that delightful feeling of having my ribs crushed and being unable to breath again.

“Where are they?”

“Are they safe?”

“How’d you find them?”

I couldn’t tell whose voice was whose. It all mixed together with the exhaustion and pressure on my chest to become one loud buzz. I was about to just ignore all of it and fall back on the bed, but then the buzzing stopped.

“Girls, give him some room.” Jane somehow pulled off a graceful clothesline and pulled them off me. I pressed against the wall to keep myself from falling on the bed. After she’d gotten the girls back on their bed, Jane looked over to me. “So what’s the deal?”

“Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and apparently Angel are in Australia. The guy on the other end said he could hook up some tickets in a week or something,” I explained.

Jane pouted out her lips and sighed. “You believed that? John, no offense, but doesn’t that all sound too good to be true? I mean, you’ve found nothing for the past two days and then suddenly you find the one thing you’ve been looking for? This has Nigerian Prince on it in bold letters.”

I pushed myself up further against the wall and focused my eyes as much as possible. “Look, when you put it that way, yeah, it sounds crazy, but it’s all I’ve got right now.” I lost my focus and turned back to the ground. “It’s not like I gave him my credit card or something. He said he’d send a PM. I’ll... I’ll wait until that comes, then I’ll figure out where to go from there.”

“Do ya really think somepony found them?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I...” I was about to say the truth, but I stopped myself. To dangle that in front of a child would be too cruel. “Well Pinkie did ask if the syrup was any good from the restaurant.” I pulled my lip upward in a weak attempt at a smile, but winced from the slap. “Sorry, Sybil packs a bit of a punch.”

“Well...” Scootaloo rubbed her chin. “That definitely does sound like Pinkie.”

I blinked my eyes and wanted to keep them shut, but there was still the pressing matter of the strange man in my bathroom. “Next time I talk to him, I’ll make sure you’re there too.” Seeing them smile made me feel a little better. “But for now, we have an unconscious dude in my bathroom and I could really use some help.”

Sybil jerked out her thumb and pointed to the door. “Come on, let’s put this craziness to rest so you can get some sleep. You’re a wreck right now.”

Jane helped pull me up and keep me from falling down. “You need some help getting back to your room?” she asked me.

I waved her off. “No, you make sure the girls are safe. The guy with Pinkie and Fluttershy made sure I was taking good care of them.” My side stung again. I clasped it on instinct. “I’ll be fine once we deal with this. Sybil’s probably right, I’m just tired.” I slouched over to the door and trailed behind Sybil.

She stopped at my door and turned to me. “You got your key?”

I reached into my pockets. Somehow, despite all the insanity the day had brought, my fear was now focused on the fact that I might have forgotten my key. Luckily, I’d somehow managed to keep it in my pockets. I guess sleep deprivation makes me better with my keys. I pulled them out and slowly opened the door. I wasn’t sure what to expect.

The room was still the same. Everything looked like a mess. Nothing new for my roommate, but at least my side usually had some order to it. The weekend had seen to it that the room was now just a chaotic mess.

Sybil walked through the room and stood by the bathroom door. “You said it happened in the bathroom, right?”

“Yeah.” My heart started to race again.

Sybil twisted the handle, but kept her head toward me. “I’ve been kept up by two liters of cheap soda and even that hasn’t made me...” She turned her head to look inside. “Jesus! Why is there a fricking guy in here?! John, what the hell?!”

I stumbled over. The man was still sprawled on the floor. The lump on his head was new though. There was something about his shirt that was poking me in the head. I looked down at him and then back at Sybil. “Sybil, you wanna call me crazy again?”

Her eyes looked like they were playing pong, dashing back and forth between me and the man. “Well, what should we do?”

“I...” I slapped myself in the head. Stupid! Why didn’t I think of that before? “Well, there weren’t pink skies this time, but there’s only one explanation for this.”

“Pony?”

I nodded my head. “Pony.” My face blanched. “Crap, if he’s new here, he’ll freak out! We can’t have him do that in the dorm rooms.” I brought a hand to my head. “Sybil, do you think it’d be safe to put him in a bed?”

“I don’t know. If he freaks that won’t be good. I’ve got some zip ties for his hands and feet though.”

I rubbed my hand around my head. “That might be best for now. Go get those. I’ll call up Pete to see if he can stay somewhere else tonight.”

“Okay.” Sybil turned to leave the room. “I’ll be right back, just be careful, okay?”

“Well, I think I conked him pretty hard. He’ll probably be out for a bit. We all need sleep though and we’ll get nowhere without it.” Sybil nodded and left the room. I was now alone with the strange man. I looked closer and noticed some of his clothes looked burnt and frayed. “Who are you?”

I saw his lips mouth words, but no sound came out. I bent down to listen. He took a deep intake of breath. “Fwoals Ima gweat an pawful Twixie,” he mumbled.

How many time have my eyes nearly popped out of my head today? Three? Four? I don’t know anymore. Regardless, what the flying hippopotamus?! Why is Trixie here? Why is she a guy!? “What’s going on?”

Sybil busted back into the room, zip ties in tow. “John! What’s going on? I can hear you from the hallway.”

“Sybil, we got trouble.” I pointed down at the unconscious man... um, mare. “That’s Trixie.”

The pinprick pupils, the gaping mouth, the completely deadpan look. Yeah, Sybil must have been a pretty good reflection of how I looked right now. “What?”

“He... she mumbled her name. Plus, look!” I jabbed a finger at the drawing on Trixie’s shirt. “Isn’t that her cutie mark?”

Sybil squinted her eyes and focussed on the shirt. “I don’t know. I mean, I haven’t seen that episode in a while.” She pulled out one of the zip ties. “I do remember her being loud and boisterous though. John, you’d better get the duck tape. It’s safer to keep her quiet until we’re sure she won’t talk. We’d better keep her in my room too. Jane and I will keep watch on her. You’re out of commission until tomorrow.”

I left the bathroom and grabbed some duck tape from one of my drawers. “Got it,” I yelled back to the bathroom. I shuffled back over to the bathroom and handed Sybil the tape. By now, she’d secured the ties around Trixie’s arms and legs.

“Thanks.” Sybil tore off a piece and affixed it to Trixie’s mouth. She grabbed one of Trixie’s arms and draped it over her shoulder. “Okay, I’ll take care of ‘her.’ You get some rest now though. I’ll get you in the morning, okay?”

“Right.” I waited with Sybil by the door to the hall until the coast was clear, then I watched her streak across the hall and disappear into her room. My form slumped. The smell of old food rose from my shirt and jeans. I pulled them off and then I saw my bed. My nice warm bed. I shambled over to it and collapsed. I pulled off my glasses and was out.

~~~

Winged Elephants quoting the Nostalgia Critic in iambic pentameter performed a ballet to the tune of Dragonforce. With a final guitar riff, the pudding they were dancing on collapsed.

Wait, wasn’t that only act squigle? Hmm, maybe it’s the tuna.

I got up from my giant tea leaf and went to reorganize the diamond water bottle.

Wait, were the birdfeeders set to six?

I unfolded my rubix cube which said I had three chocolate milks until rainbow batman. Then I had to go in my for my cotton yoyo and grab a candy train to... beep. Yes! I beep! bebe! bebe...

~~~

Be! Bebebe! I mechanically reached my hand out and set my alarm to snooze. I gave my head a scratch.

Ugh, that was freaky. Oh crap! Trixie! I rushed to the bathroom and took a quick shower. A few minutes later I was feeling fully revived. “Okay, time to work this out. Maybe that guy sent me stuff as well.

I pulled on a Killers shirt and glanced at my computer. I hadn’t even bothered closing it last night. For a second, I wanted to sit down and check my emails, but then I remembered there was a pony down the hall that probably had no idea where or what she was. That took priority. I grabbed my keys and slipped out into the hall.

As I moved to Sybil’s room, my side ached a little. I lifted my shirt up and saw I had quite the impressive bruise right below my birth mark.

Hmm, that’s right, the Crusaders thought it was a cutie mark. Wonder if cutie marks are like that: a part of your skin rather than different colored hairs. I didn’t have time to ponder the question anymore as I was already at Sybil’s door. I raised my hand to knock, but I stopped. It’d probably be best to get Jane too. We were all in this together and it’d probably make things a lot easier for Trixie if we were all friendly to her at once.

I did a 180 and knocked on Jane’s door. It wasn’t Jane who answered it though, it was a girl with long dark hair and much taller than Jane. It was her roommate. “Oh hey John, what’s up? Did you need notes for Chinese?”

Oh yeah, I was knocked out for most of yesterday. “Could you just email them to me? I’m actually here to talk to Jane about something.” At least I wasn’t lying. “But thanks for doing that Emily.”

Emily turned around to look at a messy bundle of pillows and blankets. I think I saw a glimpse of hair in there. “Um, she’s kind of asleep... lucky.”

“Well, why don’t we wake her up then? I really need her help on something. Just tell her I need to talk to her about the Crusades. She’ll know what I mean.”

“Okay, just give me a sec.” The door closed and I was alone in the hall. I knew from past experiences that few seconds was realistically more like a few minutes. I turned around again and knocked on Sybil’s door.

The Gorgon emerged from the room. Her hair of snakes went in every direction. Her piercing gaze bore into my very soul. For a second, I was stone. “She’s staying in your room from now on,” the monster growled.

Oh god, please don’t hurt me! I didn’t mean to go see Clash of the Titans. It... it totally misinterpreted you! I swear. Please don’t eat me. “G-good morning Sybil. Y-you look well.”

“If I look well, I don’t want to know what bad is for you. Guess we’ve got some explaining to do,” she sighed.

“Yeah, but let’s wait for...” The door behind me creaked open, revealing Jane. Thankfully, her hair hadn’t gone full Medusa on us and she didn’t look like she was about to assault me with a rusty dagger. She looked like she was going to assault me with a clean one. “Perfect timing. Alright, lets do this.” I stepped into the room and took a deep breath. Well at least I wasn’t going to get my ass kicked this time... hopefully.

I looked over at the four ponies sleeping on the two beds. Human or pony, the Crusaders were probably giving every type of diabetes imaginable. Seriously, that had to be the cutest thing in the world and I’m not even a good kid person. Trixie, on the other hand, had probably seen better days. Then again ,she looked like she was right off the set of Pulp Fiction, so I had a feeling even having her cart crushed had been a better day for her. I bent down a reached a hand out to Apple Bloom. Oh, how did mom do this again?

“Apple Bloom.” I shifted my hand around. “Sweetie, Scootaloo.”

“Five more minutes sis.”

“Ten more minutes Rarity.”

“Mugiw dash ara best pony.”

I gave them a more stern shake. “Girls, come on, we’ve got a really important day ahead. We’ve got to acclimate Trixie.”

“Huh?” said Apple Bloom as she blinked sleep out of her eyes.

Scootaloo stretched an arm into the air.“What’s a twiggy?” she asked.

“I thought we were talking about aximate,” Sweetie yawned.

“What’s aximate?” asked Scootaloo.

“I think it’s something stallions here use to make their manes all weird.”

“No no no, it doesn’t make their manes weird, it makes them smell funny. Rarity uses stuff like that all the time.”

“Why would anypony want to smell funny? That’s just weird,” said Scootaloo.

“Girls,” I sighed. “Trixie.” I pointed a finger at the figure on the other bed.

“Oh yeah.” Apple Bloom sat up a little and rubbed her eyes. “I think sis mentioned something about her and rope...” She kept rubbing one eye while looking at Trixie with the other. “Now I see what she was talking about.”

“But Rarity said she had a silver mane.” Sweetie twisted her torso around to get a better look at Trixie. “Or was it green? Then again, Rarity never liked to talk about it.”

“No, it was definitely silver,” said Scootaloo. “Rainbow Dash told me how she and Twilight took down a super scary ursa major and then Trixie ran off with her tail between her legs!” She extended her arms up into the air to emphasize the situation. “It sounded pretty awesome.”

Scootaloo then noticed the stares she was getting from the other two ponies. “What?”

“Sis said only Twilight saved the town.”

“Rarity said the same thing.”

Scootaloo brought her hands down to the covers. “No way, there’s just no way one pony could handle a giant monster like that! I know Twilight is really good at magic, but Dash must have helped!”

“Oh yeah,” Apple Bloom retorted. “Then I bet ma sister helped too! Why, I bet they used those elemental doo-dads!”

“Rarity never mentioned using them.”

“Quiet Sweetie!” both Scootaloo and Apple Bloom yelled. They didn’t seem to account for the fact that I was right there. Oh well, at least now I was completely awake. I should probably do something about th—

“I bet ma sis used her rope to hogtie it!”

“Well, I bet Dash used her Sonic Rainboom to knock it out!”

“Then I...”

“Girls!” I cried out to silence them. “Now is not the time. Remember how scared you all were when you first got here? Well, I’m sure Trixie is feeling the same way. So we need to be nice and calm around her, okay?”

The Crusaders looked at each other and then at me. They all bowed their heads. “Okay, we’re sorry,” they said in unison.

“Alright,” I smiled. I turned my attention to Trixie. “Jane, Sybil, I’m gonna wake her up.” Can’t believe our little shouting match didn’t wake her up already. Must be a heavy sleeper. “Just get ready for things to get a little hectic.”

I reached out my hand to wake up the mare. “Trixie? Um, Trixie?” No response. Geez really heavy sleeper. I decided to turn her over to see if that would get her up. “Trixie? Can you he—” Her eyes looked like they were gonna pop out of her head. She leaned forward and slammed her head right into mine. “Ow! Son ofa—”

“Mphfaafalf faf! gwarfaf afw pwalf twiflalf dafdf wahla sha ifal!” She yelled under the masking tape. She squirmed and flailed against her restraints.

I put a hand against the spot where she’d nearly cracked my skull. Christ! That mare has a thick he... god that makes too much sense. Wait, wasn’t I supposed to be doing som—

“John!” Jane cried out. “Help us calm her down! Sh—” Jane took a random elbow to the gut and backed away. “She’s got a kick to her,” she said in a raspy voice as she gasped for air.

I pushed through the throbbing in my head and locked my arms on Trixie’s shoulders. I made sure to keep my distance though. “Trixie! Trixie! It’s okay! I know this is all really strange, but we’re not gonna hurt you. So just calm down and we can take the tape and ties off, okay? Then we can explain everything.”

She stopped flailing for a second. Her head still moved around like she was a fish out of water though.

“Um, Ms. Trixie, I know we haven’t met, but you know my sister from Ponyville. Mr. John’s a really nice po, er, person, so can you please calm down?” Sweetie asked.

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom chimed in. “I mean, we were all pretty scared too, but it got better.” She craned her neck to look at Trixie’s chest, where her cutie mark had moved to. “At least ya got to keep your mark,” she mumbled. I felt a pang of guilt stab my organs. Might have also been my nearly broken ribs.

Trixie stopped swinging her head around. She did a final sweep of the room and then locked on me. “Okay, now that we’re all nice and calm, why don’t w—” Something wet hit me in the face and smudged up my glasses. “What the...”

“Let me go! I have my rights!” she yelled.

Oh Crap! Oh Crap! Oh Crap! We all jump on her and clamp our hands on her mouth.

“Ow!” Sybil yelps and pulls her hand back. I see a few bite marks on it.

I reach out my other hand and bring it under her jaw to keep her mouth together. “Darn it Trixie! Just be calm, okay!”

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom yelled.

“Listen to Mr. John!” Scootaloo screamed while attempting to help keep Trixie quiet.

“Cutie Mark Crusader Quiet Keepers!” Sweetie said with a determined grin aa she struggled to keep a hold on Trixie.

Trixie stopped struggling and glared at us. She blinked and rolled her eyes.

“Are you gonna be calm?” I asked. She rolled her eyes again. “Okay, everyone, just let go of her slowly.” We untangled our arms and backed away.

Trixie kept glaring at us. She pouted out her lips. “The Powerful and Great Trixie...” She stopped and grinded her teeth together. “Demands to know where he, er... she is?”

“Okay,” I sighed and then drew in my breath. “You’re very far from Ponyville.”

“Yes yes.” She turned her nose up at us and huffed. “But where am I— I mean where is the Strong and Almighty...” She looks up confusedly before continuing. “Trixie?”

“Well, this is a place called Earth,” I explained. I placed a hand on my chest. “I’m John. These are my friends Sybil and Jane.” I turned to look back. Sybil had disappeared into her bathroom while Jane was awkwardly waving her arm.

“Um, hi,” Jane said.

“And these...” I waved an arm over to the Crusaders. “Are other ponies.” Crap! Am I going to fast? I should probably slow down. “You getting all that?”

“What day is it?” Trixie asked. “Also, do you got any Coke?”

Huh, do pony days actually work like Earth days? What about months. I was about to turn around to ask the girls when my head shot back around to Trixie. “How do you know what Coke is?”

Despite the cool temperature the room was kept at, I saw beads of sweat glistening on Trixie’s head in the morning light. “O-of course Equestria has Coke!” Her lips pushed upward into a disturbing grin that reminded me too much of another unicorn.

“What the hay is Coke?” asked Scootaloo.

“Oh!” Sweetie shot a hand up like she was in class and bounced up and down on the bed. “I know! I know! I bet it’s something adult ponies have!”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “What are ya talking about? Neither Sis nor ma brother ever mentioned anything like that.” She scratched her disorganized red hair. “Hmm, then again, I think Granny Smith mentioned something about caca.. choco... chocolate leaves! That’s it!” She got right into Trixie’s face. “Do ya want hot chocolate, cause if ya ask, Mr. John or Ms. Jane can probably make ya some!”

Sweetie reached forward and yanked her friend back. “Sorry about that. But seriously Ms. Trixie, what’s Coke?”

I wanted to hear the answer to this too as something was now repeatedly hitting me in the back of my brain about it.

Twixie swiveled her head around and then focused back on me. “T-they don’t know what they’re talking about. They’re obviously lying! Lies! All Lies!”

I pushed my hands back and forth to calm her down. “Okay okay, no need to yell. Just...” Something tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to see Jane squatting by me. “What?”

“Can we just talk for a second?”

“Um, okay. Shoot.”

‘Not here.” She gestured over to the closet. “Don’t want to upset anyone.”

I looked at the girls and Trixie and sighed. “I’ll be right back.” I got up and followed Jane over to the closet. Before I opened the door I looked over at Sybil. Luckily, Trixie’s bite hadn’t broken the skin on her hand. It still looked a little red though. “Sybil, keep an eye on them for a sec.” That said, I pulled the door open and stepped inside with Jane. “Well?”

“I don’t think she’s Trixie.”

“What?” I said flatly. “Why do you think that?”

“She’s being too calm about this.”

“She nearly bit Sybil’s hand off!”

“Yes, but she didn’t even ask where her hooves were, or why she’s...” Jane’s eyes turned down. “You know, a guy?”

“Okay, I admit the Coke thing is a little strange, but then again what do we know about Equestria? The real one, I mean. They could have Coke.”

“Or ‘Trixie’ is lying to us.”

I facepalmed. “She came out of my mirror! Wanna explain that, other than interdimensional travel?”

“That’s not how the Crusaders got here.”

I let out a low grunt. “Fine. How are we gonna prove if this is the real Trixie?”

“Um... let’s ask her why she’s famous.”

“What?” I said numbly. “Everyone knows that. I know that!” I jabbed a finger at her. “You know that!”

“We could at least try.”

“Ugh.” I flipped my glasses onto my forehead and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Fine, fine. Let’s just get this over with.” I opened the door back up.

“Trixie” was twiddling her thumbs in front of her. A loose pair of shades randomly hung from her face. Somehow, she’d gotten back up on the bed. “Um...” I looked over at Sybil, who was still resting on her cabinet. “Sybil, why are Trixie’s hands in front of her now?”

“You know how hard it is to actually pull that off? It was actually kinda cool to watch. Besides, she’s still zip tied.”

“And the shades?” Jane asked.

“I was actually looking for them. Only took a gender-swapped humanized unicorn to find them.”

I facepalmed again.

“What? I can find things,” said Trixie with a shrug.

“Okay.” I ran a hand through my hair and looked down at Trixie. I was careful not to get too close to her hands though. “Trixie, we just need to ask you a few questions, okay?”

“Okay four-eyes, out with it,” she bluntly said.

“Oi, bit hostile. I mean it’s not like we...” I looked down at her zip ties. “Um...”

“You hit me with a shower stand, you psycho.”

“Well look, I was just a little out of it. I...” The Crusaders were giving me a funny look now, too. “I was tired!” I focused back on Trixie. “Look, I’m sorry and I’ll make sure to get you back home, okay?”

Trixie’s attention, however, was on the girls now. “What sort of weirdo hangs out with little kids anyway?”

I sighed again. “They’re not kids, they’re ponies. Just like you were.”

“Pssh whatever,” Trixie said.

Jane raised an eyebrow. “You meet the only three of your kind and that’s your response?” She leaned down closer to Trixie, then narrowed her eyes.“So, ‘Trixie.’ How did you get famous?”

Wow, um, did I miss the part where we say we’re going good cop bad cop on this? I then noticed Trixie sweating profusely again and biting her lower lip.

“Uhh... there was a bear and it was like really big!” Trixie clapped her hands together. “Yeah! There was a giant bear!”

Jane leaned in. I backed away a little. I was getting shivers up my spine. “You’re lying,” she said, inches away from Trixie’s face.

“Trixie” started laughing like a maniac. “You’re right, I’m not,” she- no- he said with smile.

Oh crap. I screwed up. This wasn’t Trixie! It’s just some random crazy dude! He probably slipped into my wi... wait, I’m on the third floor! How the hell did he get i—

“I’m really Steven Magnet! Couldn’t you tell by my fabulous muuuusstache?”

“You don’t have one,” Sybil bluntly said.

He winced. “Okay then, I am Zecora!

“You’re not rhyming,” said Apple Bloom. “Zecora always rhymes, and ya haven’t even said one rhyme yet.”

“Okay then... Uh.. Er... I’m Derpy!”

“How come your eyes are normal, then?” Sybil asked.

“Uh yeah... that’s because I’m Scootaloo! Yay Rainbow Dash!” He said in short breaths.

“Hey!” Scootaloo shot out bed and looked right in the man’s face. “I’m Scootaloo! You got that?”

The man’s eyes widened and then he looked over at all three girls. “I... I mean, Ah’m Apple Bloom. Yep, Ah want my cutie mark now!”

“Hey!” Apple Bloom launched herself next to Scootaloo. “That sounds nothing like me!”

He nodded and narrowed his eyes. “W-well of course! Because I’m Sweetie Belle!” Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,” he squeaked while trying to shift tones.

“Hey!” Sweetie joined her friends. “I don’t sing that badly!” She jabbed out a finger at the man. “Who are you really?”

He started to sweat more. “ I’m... Tom! You know, the boulder!”

“Christ!” I swept my hand through my hair. “He’s not even from Equestria, he’s just a fan! Damn it!” I stood up and looked over at the girls as Pilnkuy’s words blazed in my brain. “He warned me about this!”

“Who?” Jane asked.

“The guy online! He said crazy bronies would come for them if I was stupid!” I clenched my fists tightly. “Darn, we need to get this guy far away from here.” How’d he even find us? I never gave my address away.

“Wait wait wait!” he cried out. He took some deep breaths and looked up at us. “Look, I’m not here for the CMC. I’ve dealt with enough Equestrians as it is.”

“What?” All of us flatly asked.

“Look, isn’t it obvious that I have dealt with some serious pony sh—” He glanced over at the girls. “Er, poop?”

My eyes narrowed. “Who are you and who did you find?”

“Why would I tell you anything when all you’ve done is tie me up, beat me, and belittle me?”

“I’m sorry strange-man-who-snuck-into-my-room, but I made a promise to keep these girls safe, and having a chaotic person like you around ain’t good news.” I turned and looked at Sybil. “Get something ready to blindfold him. We can’t let him know where this is.”

“Er.” He struggled against his restraints. “Look, just give me three things and I’ll explain everything. Little stressed from how things are playing out here.”

“I ain’t giving you crap!” I yelled.

He sighed again. “I’m not sure if you have a choice if you are worried about these girls being found out.”

I stopped dead. “What do you mean?” I asked through clenched teeth.

“Well you need to answer my demands to find out,” he said with a cocky grin.

Screw this! I reached forward and grabbed him by his shirt. “Alright, look, I got three scared kids here and I’m not in the mood for games. You either know something or you don’t. Now talk!”

“Fine, whatever, I’ll tell you who I fou—”

There was a sudden rapping at the door. I took my eyes off of the man to look back. The sound wasn’t coming from the hall door, but rather from the closet. “The hell?”

“Pizza!” Came a voice from inside the closet.

Jane didn’t move, but her eyes traced their way over to me. “John, the closet was empty when we were in there.”

“I know.” What in god’s name is going on?

More knocking.

“John,” Sybil asked. Her eyes darted back and forth between my and the closet. I’d never seen Sybil’s eyes go wide like that. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.”

“You should probably check on that,” said the strange man. His voice now sounded flat and weary.

“Jane, get in front of the girls.” I let go of the man and took a step forward.

“John, wait, what if it’s dangerous?” Jane asked.

“Why do you think I asked you to get in front of the girls?” I said and reached my hand out for the handle.

“Be careful Mr. John,” Sweetie said as she backed further into the bed. Her friends followed.

“I will be.” I pulled down on the handle and braced myself for whatever was to come.

Smooth Music flooded the room.

Crap I hadn’t been braced for that. Then I realized it wasn’t just the music I hadn’t been prepared for, but the man inside the closet as well. “Jesus!” I jumped back and nearly fell on the bed the Crusaders were on. In front of me was a man in a red pizza driver uniform holding a pizza. A hot dog was atop his head. Maybe I did hit my head. “The fu..”

“Oh come now,” the man interrupted. He was about to take a step forward, but he stopped and glanced down at his pizza. “Why am I... oh nevermind.” He zoned in on me.

Okay, this guy could have given Judge Doom a run for his money in terrifying. I wanted to move, but his eyes... Dear god, the eyes!

He leaned forward. I smelled chocolate milk on his breath. Something was banging in my head about his voice, his eyes, his nature. What is it?!

“Did someone order a pizza?” His voice seemed to curl up and grab my throat. I was having a hard time breathing. My eyes scrambled around, but they kept focusing back on the man, like he was a black hole. He very well might have been. I saw one of his incisors dwarfed the other largely. “W-who are you?” I croaked.

He didn’t immediately answer. Instead, he tapped his right ear with a finger. “Hmm, I need to get this fishy taste out of my mouth... you got any bologna?”

“Who a-are you? I repeated. For a second, a cast a glance back and saw all three girls shivering.

He rolled his eyes. They looked like they could fall out of his head and keep spinning. “Why, Discord of course!” A huge grin stretched across his face, revealing his yellow teeth.

“Oh crap,” all four humans cried out.

The Yellow Brick Evolutionist Flies Bubble Gum

The Yellow Brick Evolutionist Flies Bubble Gum

This isn’t happening! This isn’t happening. Panic, madness, pandemonium, chaos; so many names for what was causing my heart rate to skyrocket. So many names for him. He was not real. He was not real. He. Was. Not. Real.

“He’s real,” a voice echoed, but I couldn’t tell whose it was.

I was still focused on the man, no, the entity in front of me. His clothing was merely an illusion, some idea only his twisted mind could conjure up to hide his true nature. Needless to say, it was not what I expect a universal force to look like. Yet, I saw the force he was in his mismatched eyes, his single sharp tooth, and his weathered face. His eyes were the worst, barring on me and drowning me with their glare. Yet, the eyes were uncaring as well, he might as well have been gazing at empty air. That’s all I... that’s all we were to him, nothing.

“Oh, hi Ashton...” Thank god, he took the burning eyes off me and focused on the strange man behind me. “A little tied up are we?”

I heard a rattle to my left and then saw a lamp swing down on the avatar of chaos. It connected with a loud squeek. Wait... squeek?

There was another squeek as I saw Sybil scrambling away from the lamp. I noticed that the lamp had much more sheen to it now, too much for metal and glass to have. Even the bulb looked... rubbery.

I watched as Sybil randomly flailed her arms at her desk and shelves. She’d was probably looking for mace or something along those lines. Discord kept his attention on her. The room became silent like the end of time itself. Slowly, Sybil stopped searching for a weapon and fell into a corner, shuddering all the way to the ground.

I raked my arms against the wall and somehow pushed myself back up onto my feet. I couldn’t take a step though. Any movement and I’d go crashing to the ground... possibly through the ceiling too.

The wonders of millions of years of evolution pushed through and allowed me to say the one thing that could land us all in trouble. “L-look, w-we don’t w-want any trouble.”

Meanwhile, at a famous Abbey, the corpse of a prolific evolutionist decided to do a little jig and, had it not been for the concrete it was buried under, it would have probably given some Londoners a fright.

Discord didn’t turn back to look at me though. Instead, he started walking around the room. At least, it looked like walking, he very well could have just been standing still while the rest of the room moved around him.

I heard a shuffling behind me and dared to look back. The strange man was shaking his head back and forth and looking at me with downcast eyes. Is... is he giving me the disappointed parent look?

I didn’t bother much with him anymore, he might have just been Discord’s pawn. I shift my attention over to Jane. She probably looked like a mirror image of me: shaking, pale, and frozen in place. At first, her lips moved, but no words came out. Then there were tiny animal sounds and finally bits of a sentence, “Get... girls...out.”

“I-I know.” Screw staying to fight, you see chaos and you sprint like the devil was after you... because he was. I slowly craned my head, every motion taking precise control to not degrade into a complete mess of limbs and a torso. “G-girls, we n-need to g—”

A blur of colors darted by me and I was left staring at an empty bed. Then I was looking in the exact opposite direction at three girls reaching out to get the monster’s attention.

“Why are there so many things on this shelf?” Discord wondered aloud to himself as he pushed back the various items on top of Sybil’s drawers. He looked down and glared at the drawers for a second. He randomly opened one of them and grabbed a t-shirt from within. “Darn, I’ll just keep it warm in these reverse fridge things.”

He wrapped the t-shirt around the pizza and then stuffed it into the drawer.

“Bu-but... pizza!” cried out the strange man behind me.

Scootaloo...

Oh god, what is she doing!?

Scootaloo reached up and tugged at Discord’s uniform. He turned and looked down. “Hmm?”

“No!” I wanted to scream out, but it got caught in my throat. The words may very well have turned into cement. Likewise, my arms and legs weren’t responding, like they were miles away from my brain.

Scootaloo nearly jumped into Discord’s face. “So Disharmony, do you know why we’re here?”

“How come you’re not a statue here?” asked Sweetie.

“Why do we all have weird hoof things?” Apple Bloom asked while waving one of her hands around.

Run! Run! I slowly eased a foot foward to get to the girls, but I couldn’t move more than an inch.

“Yes, because, and whatever,” Discord replied nonchalantly. His voice was different now. Oh, it still dripped with the insanity of a mad king, but now it was more benign and undirected.

“Hey Discord, suppose my next sentence is false. Yet, this sentence is true,” said the strange man. I glanced over at him and saw he was biting his fingernails. Well, if it wasn’t being paralyzed or pissing your pants, biting your nails was a pretty good alternative. I snapped my head away from the man and back to the entity of madness.

He raised a leg and scratched his stomach with his foot like a dog. “Well, I do suppose bananas are a good source of potassium,” he postulated.

Somehow the man kept chatting, “ Okay then. So, 3.41 x 1,3019234 /12347 x 8 + 13- 1804351 x 235-135425 x2 105 + 1- 1243818723847 equ—”

“68935013828483769314151163591716,” Discord finished. “Really Ashton, go a little non-euclidean sometimes. It’s fun!” In the corner of my eye, I saw the man look down and fidget with his feet. He had probably been silenced like Sybil was.

Suddenly, he turned his head back up and focused on Discord. There was a wicked grin on his face. “How is a raven like a writer’s desk?”

Discord seemed to stiffen. His eyes glazed over like he’d gone to another realm, he probably had. His mouth gaped open and closed, speaking unknown words. I didn’t want to know what he’s saying.

There was a flash by me. Another blur rushed over to Discord. The man jabbed his fingers into his ears.

Go

Yes! I yelled back to my brain. I know I need to move, but I ca— Something shook my right shoulder. Jane was rapidly shaking me back and forth.

“John we need to go now!” she screamed. Sweetie was in her arms, Apple Bloom was holding onto her friend’s leg, and Scootaloo was being pushed away from Discord by Jane’s leg.

Everything happened in a second. Someone was in my arms, a door was flung open, and then the hallway opened up to us. I noticed people were in the hall, but I couldn’t make them out. I just ran and kept running. I slammed into another door which gave way to blunt force. The cold air of an April morning washed over me. I dashed along the concrete over to the small green field by my dorm. I rushed to a collection of bushes and trees and fell against a particularly large trunk.

Breathe in, breathe out! Just get back under control! Everything was still spinning and the morning air felt like ice on my lungs. The field was only a couple of yards away from the dorm’s exit and it felt like I’d done a hundred meter sprint. I took more breaths and everything began to focus again and my lungs stopped screaming for air. We were all outside. Jane had Sweetie wrapped up in her arms.

“M-ms. Jane, that’s a l-little tight,” said the former unicorn.

I looked around more and noticed Sybil got out too. She was white as a sheet though. It was cold out, but not sufficient enough to cause her to shake as much as she was doing.

“Ms. Sybil, are ya okay?” Apple Bloom asked. She was the only one freely moving around. Sybil’s grip must have not been very strong.

Something ran over my bruise. I clenched my teeth as the flesh was still tender. I brought a hand over to it, only to feel other hands touch it.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!” said Scootaloo. She backed off, lost her balance, and landed on the grass. “You were just kinda crushing me.”

“It’s fine,” I replied. Luckily, the burning rapidly faded from my side. “I’m just glad we made it out.”

“Wow, you’re kind of a pansy aren’t you?” said the strange man. He then took a slurp from a Coke and bit into a slice of pizza. I saw a piece of squid fall off the slice onto his new Pinkie Pie shirt as I nearly climbed halfway up the tree I was resting on.

“You!” I screamed and pointed a finger at him.

“Me!” he delightfully screamed back.

It wasn’t fear, but adrenaline that moved me then. I was in between him and everyone else in a second. “You with him?!”

He shrugged at my question. “Mostly along for the ride. Guess you could say you and I are in the same boat.”

I didn’t trust him for an instant. He talked too calmly with Discord. There were too many x-factors to him. He was dangerous. Yet, he’d been in contact with Discord and somehow hadn’t been made into the quivering puddles the rest of us were. Maybe he’d been around the monster long enough to get some information. “What do you know?”

“Well I know a lot obviously.” He flashed me a cocky grin. “But I suppose you are talking about all these humanized ponies and such, right?”

“Yes!” all of us except Sybil yelled. She remained silent and shaking.

He raised his arms and randomly flailed them to silence us. “Okay! Okay! Sheesh, fine, so you probably guessed by now that Discord is basically responsible for all of this.”

“I had my suspicions, but I didn’t know,” I replied. Everything was racing in my head: the girls, answers, and Discord. Fittingly, my mind was in total chaos.

“Do ya know how to get us home?” Sweetie begged.

“Or why we’re here?” Apple Bloom asked, turning on her puppy dog eyes.

The man’s eyes scanned over all of us. His smile faded a little. “Uh... well... er... nope. Discord probably doesn’t have enough juice to get to Equestria.” He took another slurp of his drink. “I think.”

“D-does that mean he’s got no powers here?” Jane nervously asked.

“Oh, gee, let me think.” He mocking scratched his head then snapped his fingers. “I popped out of John’s mirror here and he popped out of the closet.” He dropped the sarcasm and deadpanned at us. “What do you think? He’s slowly getting his powers back.”

“No,” Jane whispered.

“Crap.” I slammed a fist into the ground.

“Want some pizza?” the man casually asked. He held up the box to us.

I glared at him. “Look... whatever your name is, this is bad, really bad. What can he do?”

“Oh, well it var—” He was cut off by a scream and then a loud fwump.

We all turned to pinpoint the source of a commotion. It was a girl with only a towel wrapped around herself looking outside. Only problem was my dorm didn’t have windows big or clear enough for the girl to be in full sight of us. Then again, you couldn’t have windows if there wasn’t a wall to put them on.

The girl, our group, and everyone else around the dorm slowly traced their eyes down to the ground. The ground was completely pink now. No... I still saw grass beneath the pink. I did a double take at my group, the ground, and what was on top of it. The early morning sun shimmered off its sugary form. An entire part of my dorm had gone from red bricks to pink bubble gum.

Jane clasped her hands over her mouth. “Oh my god.”

“Hmm, how is raven like a writing desk?” Discord mused behind us.

“Run!” I screamed. I had Apple Bloom in my arms this time. Jane had Sweetie again. Scootaloo was running as well. Sybil was still rooted to the ground. I dug my hand into her shoulder to get her back to reality. “Damn it! Get up!” No response. I lifted her up and dragged her. We had to get away no matter what.

We sprinted out of the bushes and over to the stairs. I must have climbed them in record time, but I probably skinned up Sybil’s legs pretty bad too. It was better than leaving her with Discord though, that would have been a death sentence. We reached the top of the stairs. I turned to look back and saw that everyone had made it up. Now we just had to keep running. I twisted and prepared to sprint anywhere that was away from Discord. Then I saw what was at the top of the stairs.

“Got any threes?” Discord asked the man. They were both sitting near the food court with cards in their hands and candy cigars in their mouths.

“Go fish,” the man grumbled.

I moved to back away and nearly lost my balance. Luckily, a former pegasus kept me, Sybil, and Apple Bloom from falling down the steps. “John! Apple Bloom! Sybil! Hold on!” I saw her tiny legs shaking trying to support us all.

“Scootaloo, get away!” I yelled. “You’ll fall too!” I let go of Sybil and shoved Apple Bloom into her arms. I made sure to push her up though. They both landed on top of stairs with a small thud.

Good, at least Sweetie and Apple Bloom are safe now. I just need to... I felt a foot leave the ground. Gravity started to pull on my upper body faster than I could react. Scootaloo was still trying to keep me aloft. No! I’m not gonna get her out of the way!

The stairs zoomed in on me, but suddenly stopped. I was now at an angle I couldn’t achieve unless gravity had decided to switch off or I’d just gotten hooked up to a cable wire. The former option currently seemed more likely. Then again, it might have been the strange man grabbing my arm.

“Oi, you better be more careful Johnny boy. You might break an arm or something,” he said. He tugged his arm back and brought me and Scootaloo away from the fall.

“T-thanks,” we both croaked.

The other two Crusaders rushed over to Scootaloo and hugged her. “Thank goodness!” Apple Bloom cried.

“You almost fell again!” Tears ran down Sweetie’s face.

A large, unnatural sound like a dying elephant encased in water reverberated around us. I noticed a few camera phone flashes around us. Discord didn’t seem to mind. He merely silenced what I assume to be a belch and then his eyes glazed over again. I saw his tongue flick around and occasionally coil around his snaggle tooth. “No... it’s not that,” he muttered.

I looked up at the man and then at the rest of our group. Jane’s legs were twitching, indecisive or whether to run forward or back. Sybil had a death-grip on the handrail and looked liked she’d pass out at any second.. I looked down at the girls, they seemed the least unfazed of all of us, but they still shook a little. “We need to move,” I said.

“You are totally blowing the whole ‘god of chaos’ thing out of proportion,” the man interrupted our escape attempt. “Discord is as harmless as a fly.”

There was a buzzing sound, but it was loud, too loud, like someone had given a fly bass speakers. Suddenly, a giant black beast appeared out of nowhere. Its immense wings sent debris flying everywhere. Its grotesque compound eyes gazed at the world as it continued to spastically jerk its head back and forth. People started dropping their phones and screaming.

The man just crossed his arms. “I still stand by my point.”

The giant fly then proceeded to land on the large window of the food court and cracked it, sending a shower of glass everywhere. More screaming followed. I noticed a few people were still taking pictures and videos. Discord continued mouthing words and twisting his tongue, completely oblivious to the chaos he was producing.

I faced the man, heart and eyes ready to burst out in panic. “We need to get out of here now! How do you distract him!?”

The man just kept the same calm, I was now leaning more towards insane, look. “Nah.” He waved me off with a hand. “He’s running on fumes as we speak, that fly was probably the last of it.”

“If those are fumes, I don’t wanna see more of them,” Apple Bloom quivered. “Regular horse flies are bad enough.”

The fly stopped buzzing around and dropped to the ground. It fell on its back, twitched, and curled up its legs.

“See?” said the strange man.

In response, the fly’s body turned shiny and plastic like. Then, thick matted hair grew over its form. Its middle pair of legs shrank into its body while the other two pairs thickened. Its form shrank and its head pushed out to form a short snout. A long rope-like tail exploded from its back side. I barely held whatever was in my stomach down. Sybil wasn’t so lucky and puked over the railway. The monster completed its horrific transformation and looked around before randomly taking to the air.

The man awkwardly coughed.

Jane grabbed at my arm. “J-john that’s...”

“The w-wicked witch’s pet,” I stammered, not fully trusting in my own eyes or words. “I know. Get Sweetie and lets move!” I twisted to look at Sybil, who’d barely recovered from her sick spell. “You back with us?”

She slowly nodded.

“Good! Cause we need to get out fast!” I turned around to run down the stairs.

“Got it!” Discord snapped his fingers and giggled with delight. His form rippled and swelled, like he was out of Popeye cartoon. “Oh dear.”

My eardrums popped first before the ground disappeared beneath me. The world went silent on me. I could still see Discord, with his mouth agape and his mismatched eyes wide in confusion and delight. The Crusaders and my friends were all yelling unheard words and reaching their hands out to me. I reached out my hand too. Scootaloo jumped. Her friends turned to her, but were too slow to grab her.

Everything blurred. I caught glimpse of the the flying monkey, the collapsed bubble gum wall, and the giddy avatar of chaos. This was definitely not how I expected to go out.

The ground raced towards me. This was gonna hurt. I braced myself even though I knew I nothing was going to help. A snapped neck would be the best I got out of this, The cement got closer and closer, but it didn’t hit as fast as it should have. Something tugged at my back. Translucent orange flashed in my vision.

“John!” the orange cried out just as the cement made contact.

Crack. Crack.

Can’t breath. I drew in air, but it hurt. Breathing shouldn’t hurt. My whole right side was on fire. Something was jammed into my arm. I felt something poking my muscles that shouldn’t have been there. I screamed. I noticed a girl with purple hair by me. Orange disappeared from her back just before everything went dark.

✦✦✦

“John!” I cried out. “Scootaloo!” They had both crashed at the bottom of the stairs with two loud cracks. I was about to rush down, but a voice caught ma attention.

“Apple Bloom,” Sweetie yelled. “Did you see what she did?”

I’d seen it. I’d tried to stop Scootaloo. I didn’t know what else to do. She was too fast, she had already beyond my hoof thing’s reach when I tried to grab her. I’d cried as I watched her fall, but then I’d seen it. It was only for a second, but there were these small orange wings I knew could only belong to one pony. As quick as I’d seen them, they were gone from Scootaloo’s back. They both crashed, but I knew it could have been worse. I then remembered the monster behind us. Why? Why’d he do it? How could he just hurt somepony like that?!

I had to do something before he hurt more of ma friends. “Sweetie, we gotta stop him.”

“I know, but...” She shivered a little. “Even our sisters had the Elements.”

I stomped the ground with my hind hoof thing. “I don’t care! Sweetie, he’s hurt Scootaloo and he’s hurt John. What if he hurts somepony else? I don’t care if I ever get back to Equestria or if I get my cutie mark, but nopony hurts ma friends!”

Sweetie was silent for a minute. John’s friends were rushing down to help him and Scootaloo. She looked at me with focussed eyes. “You’re right, we gotta keep everypony else safe.” She put her hoof thing on my shoulder. “For our friends.”

“That’s right,” I yelled. I turned around and looked at the two villians. They were laughing at the damaged they’d done to us and John’s home. “C’mon, lets show those two not to mess with the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Charge!”

I rushed forward with Sweetie at ma side. The strange man scampered away as soon as he saw us coming. Discord wasn’t so lucky. I galloped at him while Sweetie jumped him. While she was clinging to him, I did the only thing I knew I could do. I turned around, planted all four of ma hoof things on the ground and sent ma hind legs flying out, just like sis taught me.

I heard a high pitched squeak and watched Discord fall to the ground. He was clutching the area where I landed the kick. His body writhed around a little as his eyes watered a bit. I looked over at Sweetie as she dusted herself off. “You’re sure our sisters had to use super weapons on him?” she asked.

“Maybe hum-manes just have weaker under bellies,” I guessed. Then, I heard laughing. I turned to the source of the laughter and saw the strange person walking over. “Ya better stay away!” I tapped a hoof thing to the ground, ready to defend the others if I needed to.

He brought his hoof thing to his head with a slap. “Listen kiddo, shouldn’t you be more worried about ‘Mr.’ John than me? I’m not the one who fell down all those stairs.”

“I...” I felt something on my shoulder. Sweetie was grasping it.

“He’s right,” she said. She gave a glance at Discord, who was still squirming a little. “I don’t think he’s going anywhere. Let’s go help Mr. John and Scootaloo.”

I struggled for a second. I didn’t want to take ma eyes off Discord or his friend. I'd heard of all the tricks he could pull, the way he could bend things around, and even turn ponies against each other. I turned. “You’re right.”

This time, Sweetie led the charge down the stairs. I took a glance back and saw the strange person grabbing Discord. “Tell him I hope he gets well soon. Sorry we couldn’t meet under better circumstances!” he yelled, but I was already back to focusing on Mr. John and Scootaloo.

We reached the bottom of the stairs and raced over to them. Luckily, Scootaloo just has a few more scrapes. Mr. John wasn’t good though. He was pale, even paler than his coat normally was. There was something wrong with his foreleg. “What do we do?”

“We need to move him,” Ms. Jane said in a voice that I knew wasn't good. It sounded like Fluttershy’s when we ran off that one night. She was scared, real scared.

“John!” Sweetie rushed forward. “Oh please! You can’t get hurt! Please get up!” I saw a little red stuff come out his mouth. “No!”

I blinked. Sweetie’s head started to glow. It wasn’t her whole head, just one part of it, right where her h— “Oh ma stars! Sweetie you’re...”

Casting Call

Everything happened in flashes. I saw a light before I slipped back into a more comfortable abyss. Something was touching my wrists and ankles and then I was in darkness again. I was on something soft with eight eyes looking at me. There was a lot of noise. I was thrust back into unconsciousness. I opened my eyes and saw everything was white. The pain in my arm and side returned.

“Get propofol going. Patient is regaining consciousness.”

Huh? What is propo— Something cold snaked its way through my arm... my left one. Before I could panic, sleep took me again. There were no flashes this time, there was nothing.

~~~

Heavy. Why do my eyelids feel so heavy? Ugh, I need to stop staying up so late, it makes me gro— It was misty, but my last conscious memories flooded back into me: running, chaos, and... “Girls!” I screamed as my eyes flared open.

I sat up, only to fall back onto the bed, clutching my side. “Ow!” Then I saw I was clutching it with a white stumpy ho— No, that was plaster, not fur. A cast? Am I in a hos—

“Thank god!” Something threw itself on me and tried to strangle me. Its curly hair smothered my face. “John! We were so scared! We came as soon as we heard!” My chest suddenly felt wet.

“Mom... choking,” I croaked. She instantly backed off and looked like she’d murdered a puppy. What the hell is going on?

“I... I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I was just...”

“We were worried,” said dad. He was keeping things together much better than mom was, but he still looked shaken. The bags under his eyes were deeper than normal and his beard looked particularly unkempt. “Damned terrorist bastards,” he muttered.

“W-what?” I stuttered. Terrorist?

“You just got up... we’ll deal with it later.” Dad bent down and squeezed his arm around my neck. “We’re just glad you’re safe.”

“Dad... what about everyone else?” I quivered. How long have I been out? What happened? Where’s Discord? Where is everyone?!

“Everyone is fine,” came a new voice. I turned away from dad’s hug and saw Jane was sitting by mom. “We all made it out fine. Sybil got you here and then drove home, but we’re all good.”

“Jane... thank you.” I didn’t want to say more until I got a better picture of what had happened while I’d been out. I let out a deep breath and leaned back. My side still stung a little.

“I’ll go get a doctor,” mom said as she got up and disappeared out of sight. She returned a few seconds later with a portly man in a white coat.

“Ah, Mr. Bacanti, glad to have ya back,” he said with a southern drawl. “Your surgery wasn’t too bad. You’re quite a lucky fellow. If your rib had splintered a little more, you’d be dealing with internal bleeding, and if your ulna had broken a few millimeters to the right you’d be facing the risk of it cutting major arteries. You’re also lucky on beating the rush of victims here. Overall, you’ll just need to take it easy for the rib, and your arm will be better in a few months. We’ll need to run a few tests to make sure you don’t have a concussion or any other issues, but after that you should be good to go.”

“Thank you so much doctor,” said dad. Mom cried a little more.

The doctor walked over to a door. “We’ll also determine if a prescription is needed for pain, but for now I’m sure ya’ll wanna just talk.” He put his hand on the door handle but didn’t turn it. “I normally don’t say this to outpatients and their family, but don’t get too huggy.” He opened the door and was gone.

“You’ve got someone watching out for you,” dad said as he looked down at me.

Scootaloo leaping out for me flashed in my mind. Try somepony. I took a deep breath and winced a little. Okay, watch it on the deep breaths. I looked up at my parents and glanced over at Jane as well. “How long have I been out?”

“You were just getting out of surgery when we got here,” dad explained. “They said the drugs knock you out for a bit.”

“It’s now the eighteenth... in the afternoon,” Jane continued.

A day and a half. I’d been out for over twenty-four hours. “Jesus,” I muttered. I brought a hand to my face and almost knocked myself out with the cast. “I’ll need to get used to that.”

“Well,” mom finally managed to stop sobbing and choke out some words, “you’ll have plenty of time at home.”

“Home? I raised an eyebrow. “What about school? I mean, you heard the doctor, he didn’t seem that worried.” Besides, I need to get back to the Crusaders.

My parents turned away from me and looked at each other. Dad spoke up in a much more deep and somber tone now. “John, if you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to answer this, but what do you remember?”

I looked over at Jane and flashed her a look that said it all: everything. Yet, I focused back up at my parents and spoke, “It’s a bit of a blur. I know I was running, then climbing the stairs, and falling.” At least I wasn’t completely lying.

“Do... do you remember anything else?” mom quivered.

Oh, lets see? A bubble gum wall, a giant fly, a flying monkey, and nearly getting killed by the avatar of chaos. “No,” I answered. Wait, why aren’t they freaking out about that stuff?

Apparently, I replied too slow, since both mom and dad flashed me this look halfway between concern and dismay. “Okay, John,” dad replied.

I corked my head a little. “So what does this have to do with school?”

There was a long bit of silence. Mom opened her mouth, but then closed it and dad did the same thing. I was about to ask again when Jane spoke up. “Mr. and Mrs. Bacanti, it might be easier if I explained it to him.”

“Y-yes,” mom shook, “that’d p-probably be best.”

“Alone,” Jane replied.

Dad gave her a weary look for a second, turned back to me, and then focused on mom and gripped her shoulder. “C’mon, let them talk it out.” They both walked out of the room, leaving just Jane and me.

“Okay, I’m blaming a bit of the confusion on meds, but what the hell really happened?” I asked.

“I’m not too sure either,” Jane explained. “After you fell, we got out of school as fast as possible. When we got to the hospital, they were already starting to cover it on the news, but...” Jane bit her lip.

“But what?”

Jane extended out her hand and grabbed a remote that was by my bed. I noticed my glasses were there as well and put them on while she pushed the power button on the TV.

“...behind this attack,” said a news anchor. My mouth dropped when I saw images of my school on the TV. There were shots of collapsed wall on the grass, only it wasn’t bubble gum anymore and the broken window on the food court as well. “However, more disturbing than the physical attack was the the mental attack on the students. Lets go live to our report with the students.”

The screen blinked and then a microphone was being shoved into someone’s face. He looked a little familiar, but I couldn’t place a name to him. “I was just enjoying breakfast before class when it started. I heard this buzzing...” He jabbed a finger at the camera. “I know I wasn’t the only one, ‘cause everyone started looking around for whatever it was. Then I see this huge black...” He shuddered a little. “...thing and I freaked the hell out. If I hadn’t gotten under the table in time, I’d have been sliced to ribbons by that fly.”

There was a shift on the screen and a new person was being interviewed. I think she’d been in my English class last semester. “It wasn’t a fly I saw. It was monkey... with wings.” Her eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head. “I was on my way to my nine-thirty when I started to hear the screaming. Instead of running away, I turned and looked back and saw an entire wall go pink and crash to the ground.Then I saw the monkey in the air. After that, the blast or whatever it was hit and knocked me off my feet.”

Another blink and they were interviewing a different person. I didn’t even recognize them this time. “Whatever hit me, it wasn’t a bomb. See, I saw it all. This old pizza man and some random dude popped out of nowhere and started playing cards. Then came the fly and I swear to god I got video of it turning into a flying ape. Then the old man puffed up like a balloon and sent everyone flying. Pretty sure he sent someone down the stairs.”

The cameras went back to the newsroom with the anchor-woman. “Authorities now believe that students were exposed to a hallucinogen that caused a mass panic. At the same time this drug was taking effect, the group responsible for the attack detonated incendiary devices, damaging areas of the campus and injuring some students. Police are still searching the campus for traces of whatever was used on the students and faculty. We’ll now go to our panel to...” Jane clicked the screen off before the anchorwoman could say more.

“What the hell...” I muttered.

Jane gazed down at the floor. “Yeah, everyone else thinks it was just a terrorist attack. I... I don’t know whether that’s good or bad.”

“Never thought I’d say this, but it’s good. If everyone else thinks it was just a mass hallucination, attention won’t be drawn to the girls or us.”

Jane bit her lip a little more. “About that...”

I ignored the pain in my side and inched myself a little closer. “What?”

“The police are probably gonna question you in a few minutes... they’re outside the room.” Jane must have seen my pupils turn into pinpricks, cause she grabbed my shoulder and pulled me away from my panic attack. “It’s okay, just tell them the truth.”

“Are you...”

“Yes, it’s crazy to say that, but that’s the point.”

I leaned back and sunk into the bed. “Okay, how soon till they come?”

“Probably when I go to get your parents.”

“The girls are with Sybil?”

“Yeah, they’ve been lying low with her while you’ve been recovering.”

I reached out my hand and held it open to Jane. “Can I borrow your phone?”

“Your’s is right there.” Jane pointed to my left where my glasses had been. Sure enough, my phone was resting right next to my wallet and my keys.

I reached out and grabbed my phone, twiddled my left thumb across the screen, and went to Sybil’s contact page. I wasn’t even past the first ring when Sybil picked up. “Jane, what’s the situation?”

“Sybil, it’s John.”

“John! Thank god I... wait a second! No! Don’t!”

“JOHN!” three voices all yelled into the phone. I dropped it and clasped my now ringing ear.

“Ow!” I complained.

“What’s wrong?” Jane nervously asked.

I rubbed my ear then and the ringing faded almost instantly. “I just got attacked by the Crusader scream.” I picked the phone up again, but held it at a safe distance away from my ear this time.

“Are ya okay?”

“Is anything hurt?”

“Did you have surgery?”

“Girls, I’m okay,” I replied to all the questions. “I just got a little roughed up.” Scootaloo jumping to save me flashed in my head again. “Scootaloo, I don’t know what you did, but thank you. You probably saved my skin.”

Jane poked at my good side. “Thank Sweetie and Apple Bloom too.”

I moved the phone further away from my face and raised and eyebrow to her. “Why?”

“I’ll explain after the call, but just thank them,” Jane replied.

I brought the phone back over to my face. “Sweetie and Apple Bloom, thank you too. I must have been out for whatever you did, but it probably helped me in more ways than I can count.”

“You’re welcome,” they all said in unison.

“Just... just get better soon, okay?” said Apple Bloom, no doubt flashing the puppy dog eyes on other end of the line.

“I will, stay safe, okay?” I inched a finger over to the end call button.

“We promise,” came three voices at once.

“Good, I’ll see you soon.” I clicked button and the screen went black. I looked over at Jane. “Okay, so what else did I miss while I was out?”

Jane’s eyes darted between my arm and my bad side. “Remember how the doctor was saying you got lucky with your injuries?”

“Yeah, still hurt like hell when I landed though. I couldn’t even breath.”

“Sweetie did something to help.”

“What?”

The room grew deathly still. Jane fidgeted around a little. “She... she used magic.”

“That... that’s not possible,” I retorted.

“I saw it for myself.” Jane brought up and hand and pointed at the center of her forehead. “Her head was glowing right here. I don’t know what she did, but after the glow disappeared, you looked a little better. There’s also Scootaloo...”

An image of translucent orange blazed in my head. “She didn’t...”

“She did, I saw the wings myself.” Jane gazed down at my cast again. “Saved you from a broken neck at least.”

“And Apple Bloom?”

“She’s probably the reason why we’re not in Chaosville anymore. While we were helping you, she and Sweetie held off Discord.”

My mouth must have almost touched the ground hearing that. “What? He’s Discord! He had us like jelly in his hands! What did she do?!”

“She... well... I think she kicked him downstairs.”

“For crying out loud Jane, be serious! There’s no way the personification of chaos got...” Jane gave me a stoic look. “Oh lord, you are serious. I...” I laughed and then instantly stopped because it was literally splitting my side. “Okay, that’s a bit a relief. Discord may have his powers, but he’s also got human weaknesses...” My eyes went wide. “Crap!”

“What?”

“Jane, I need to get online now! I have to warn the guy with Pinkie and Fluttershy! Do you have a computer?”

Jane quickly turned around and grabbed the bag she had with her. “There were a few police in the dorm, but I explained I was getting it for a friend, so they let me through.” She rifled around her bag a little and pulled out a familiar grey macbook.

“Jane, you’re a good friend.” I grabbed my computer, pulled myself up a little, and turned it on. With a little added difficulty of typing with one hand, I logged into my fimfiction account and saw I had not one, but two new messages. They were both from TheSlorg. Guess Pinkie must have gotten to his keyboard.

I began to scan the letter.

Fullmetal_Pony,

Or John, right?

I raised an eyebrow. Did I give him my name? Ugh, drugs must be messing with my head.

Hopefully when you receive this message, you will be recovered from whatever happened to you. You might be wondering how I know that you were injured. Well, I had a visit from a certain Spirit of Chaos, if you get my drift.

No!

Jane must have seen the anxiety twisting my face around. She placed a hand on my shoulder and looked at the screen. “John, what’s wrong?”

“Discord got to Pinkie and Fluttershy too.” Images of Sydney’s streets becoming liquid filled my head. I pasted my eyes to the rest of the letter. Jane did the same.

Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel are all okay. We managed to trick him into leaving with the help of someone named Ashton. You might recognize him, he’s registered on this site as Draequine.

Jane and I both breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god,” I said aloud.

“You think this Ashton guy was the one with Discord?”

“No doubt. He sounds beneficial here, but when he was with us it was hard to say what he was doing,” I postulated. “We’ll need to be careful with him.” I turned my attention back to the rest of the letter.

You might already be aware of this, but Discord won’t recognize anyone from Equestria unless you say their names. I don’t know how or why, but Discord has no idea that I found Pinkie and the others, despite the fact that he was staring them all in the face. The same happened with me and Discord. I couldn’t focus on his name until Ashton said it.

Anyway, things are safe here now. Discord took Ashton with him, so it’s just Fluttershy, Pinkie, Angel, and me again. Don’t forget to send pictures of the Crusaders. We need to meet up and make a plan.

Cheers,

-TheSlorg

I finished the letter and slowly laid back on my bed. I looked over at Jane. “Well, at least Australia is safe... as safe as you can call Australia.”

“What was that about pictures though?” Jane asked.

“That’s probably in his other PM.” I clicked on TheSlorg’s older message.

To: Fullmetal_Pony

Good day,

Okay, so here's the deal. We're going to need passports for the Crusaders before they can fly anywhere. Other paperwork too. Birth certificates, that sort of thing. I've got you covered there, but I'm going to need passport-worthy photos of the girls before I can get you everything you need. Email me three photos of each of them just in case you mess up on any of them. Once I have the photos, it will be three or four days before they are finished, then another few days in the mail. Send me an email once you receive the paperwork to aussie_hunter@ausmail.com. Once you've done that, I can sort out your airline tickets.

Oh, and in case you forget. Keep the girls secret and safe!

- Cheers,

TheSlorg

“Okay,” I said after looking over the email. I then looked over at Jane. “Jane this is very important. Call Sybil whenever you think its safe to and tell her to give Sweetie and Scootaloo a dye job so their hair doesn’t stand out too much. Use wigs if that doesn’t work. When that’s done take the pictures and send them to this guy.”

I clicked around my computer a bit and then turned it to her. “I’ve disabled my login password for now. Send those pictures as soon as possible.”

Jane reached out to take the computer away, but I grabbed one of her hands. “I still need to reply,” I explained.

“Right.”

I pulled up my email, typed in Slorg’s email, and began to type:

Subject: Safe

First, the girls are safe. Apple Bloom even managed to drive off Discord and Scootaloo and Sweetie saved my life. I've still wound up with a cracked rib and a broken arm though.

I’m relieved that you and everyone else made it out okay.

Scootaloo’s wings flashed in my head again.

I don’t know how but Scootaloo was able to use her wings to at least save me from more severe injuries. I don’t know if it’s connected to Discord, but this is the first time any of them have done something like that.

Moving on, I might be traveling in a few days as my school got shut down from Discord's attack, but I'll be taking the girls with me.

Don't worry, everyone thinks that the stunts Discord pulled were hallucinations. Everyone is lying low now just in case.

If you need to contact me my email is strawhat_pony@cmail.net and my number (know it’s a little pricy overseas but need it for emergencies) is 555-444-3321.

I’m working on the pictures right now. My friend is giving Sweetie and Scootaloo a dye job so their hair looks normal.

I clicked around and attached the picture I’d taken of girls.

Attached is the one picture I have so far. Stay safe.

-John

I pressed my mousepad and the email went off. I closed the screen and looked at Jane. “You know what to do?” She nodded. “Good, check for responses as well. Now get going. Your parents are probably worried about you too.”

“You’ll be okay?”

“As okay as a guy with a broken rib and arm can be,” I smiled.

“Got it, I’ll get to the girls as soon as possible.” She stuffed my computer into her bag and made for the door. “Get better, okay?”

“Got it.” As Jane left my parents came in. My heart skipped a beat when a police officer followed.

“John,” mom shook, “the police just... just want to talk to you about what happened.”

“Do you think you can do that?” Dad asked.

I clutched the covers of the bed a little. “Yeah.”

“I’ll need to do this alone,” said the officer.

Dad place a hand on mom’s shoulder. “Lets wait outside.” He opened the door and then left me alone with the officer.

“Son, I know you’ve been through alot, but we just need your help figuring out what happened.” He sat down where Jane had been sitting and pulled out a small computer. “Can you start by giving me your name and date of birth.

“Yes,” I replied and listed off both of his requests.

The officer typed on his computer and then scratched his scruffy beard. “Now Mr. Bacanti, can you tell me what events transpired yesterday morning?”

“I can try.” I took a deep breath. “I was going to see my friend Jane about Chinese homework before getting breakfast. However, she’d left it in Sybil’s room last...” I shook my head to make sure my story was straight. “... two nights ago. So I went in to get it.”

The officer stopped his typing and looked at me. “That’s Sybil Falliso and Janet Schmidt you are referring to, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Continue.”

“Well, that was when things went...” Jane’s words rang through my head. “...crazy.”

“Crazy how?”

“I was running. I don’t know from what, but it terrified me. Jane and Sybil were running too.”

“Witnesses said three minors were with you, can you explain that?”

“I... I can’t,” I said truthfully. “I only remember Jane and Sybil,” I lied. I heard my own heartbeat for a second.

“I see, please go on.”

Too scary, gotta finish this. “I got outside and stopped by some trees. That was when the wall turned into pink and fell down... that’s what I saw at least.”

The officer looked up from his screen and rubbed his chin while he stared at me for a second. Then he went back to his computer and waited for me to continue.

“We all ran up the stairs. Then there was the fly that turned into a monkey and an old man that blew me off my feet.” I paused and then added, “Did the doctors say anything about head injuries?”

“Can’t say,” the officer replied. “Is that all?”

“Next thing I remember was my mom strangling me.”

The officer rubbed his beard and closed his computer. “I see. Son, you’re mighty lucky to be alive. From the sound of things, you were right in the center of a mighty nasty attack. Get some rest and get better. Thanks for your time.” He got up and walked to door. He peered out to his left. “Sorry about that, he’s all yours now.

“Are you okay?” dad asked as he entered the room.

“I’m fine, just trying to process everything,” I replied.

“It’s okay sweetie,” mom cued, “we’ll just get you home.” She managed to smile a little. “You get a little break from school at least.”

“When do we leave?” I asked.

“Your mother and I are going to try and get your stuff from school tomorrow. We’ll leave on Friday. The doctors just need to run a few more checks on you and then you’ll be good to go,” dad explained.

“Got it,” I replied.

He walked over and gave me another hug. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

My response was for my stomach to grumble. I awkwardly chuckled. “Heh, well, I have been out for over a day.”

“We’ll get a nurse to bring some food,” mom said. Dad got up and followed her out of the room.

I was left alone with my thoughts. God, I don’t know whether to thank you or ask what I did to deserve this. Thanks for keeping the girls safe though. I was tempted to check the TV for other news of what had happened, but decided not to. Too much stuff to process right now. I just need some food.

Luckily, mom and dad came back quickly with food. “Thanks.”

“It’s probably not the best food, but we’ll get you better stuff when we’re back home,” dad explained.

“Eh, can’t be worse than college food,” I joked. I then dug into the cheap chicken dinner.

“You’ve still got your appetite,” mom commented.

~~~

I leaned back on my bed. I was alone again. After much discussion, mom and dad had left. Unfortunately, over 24 hours asleep wasn’t making it any easier to go to bed. I looked up at the ceiling and resisted the temptation to watch TV. It was getting late now so I didn’t want to call either, especially if the police were looking through things.

I carefully leaned over to the stand by my bed and began to take off my glasses when I saw my phone light up and start buzzing. “Hmm?” I picked it up and looked at the number. I didn’t recognize it, but I decided to answer anyway. I slid the answer bar over and held it to my ear. “Hello?”

“G’day, is this John?” came a rough gravelly voice.

“Um, speaking,” I said, praying this wasn’t a solicitation call. “Who’s calling?”

“It’s TheSlorg, though I reckon you can call me Doug. You alright mate?”

“Oh thank god,” I sighed in relief, “I read that email and was worried he’d gotten you too.” I looked down at my right arm. “I’ve seen better days though. Discord did a number on me, I’ve got a busted rib and a broken arm. The Crusaders are safe though.”

“Christ. Well at least the girls are safe. Where are they now?”

“Laying low with my friends. They’re also taking care of getting pictures... that one I sent probably wasn’t suitable.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Sorry.”

“No worries. It was nice to see them though. It cheered Pinkie and Fluttershy right up.”

“Oh, did Discord try to get to them too?” I asked in a bit of a shaky voice.

“We managed to drive him away before he found out who they were. It’s been tough on them though, what with trying to adapt to being human. They took it really hard when we found out Celestia lost her magic. We were hoping that she’d be the key to getting them home.”

My eyes went wide as dinner plates. “Did you just say Celestia?!”

“Yeah, the princess is in Atlanta with someone I can trust, but it’s not all good news. When she lost her horn, she lost her magic. I’m guessing you already saw that Discord seems to be able to do magic just fine. I can’t imagine what he’d do if he found Celestia powerless.”

“Hmm, they might not be entirely powerless. I’m only talking to you because Sweetie and Scootaloo saved me with hovering and magic... I think.”

“They did what?” Doug yelled through the phone.

“I know I saw something on Scootaloo’s back right before I passed out and my friends saw Sweetie’s head glowing. It’s not much, but from what the doctors say, it may have saved my skin.”

“So there’s some hope after all,” Doug muttered below his breath. “How soon can you get me the pictures of the girls? We can’t do anything until your papers are finished.”

“I’ll call my friends as soon as we finish this call. Hopefully the dye job on Sweetie and Scootaloo won’t take long... so Pinkie and Fluttershy are okay?”

“One moment.” There was the sound of shuffling on the other end of the line.

For a few seconds, everything was silent. I was about to ask if Doug was still there when I heard a bubbly voice in stark contrast to Doug’s on the other end of the line. “So I just talk into this thing and he can hear me? He can hear me right now?” There was a slight pause. “Hello?”

The voice sounded a little familiar, but I couldn’t place it over the phone. “Hello? Doug, are you still there?”

A squeal erupted from my phone and nearly made me drop it. I held it a little further away as a precaution. I didn’t want to add a broken eardrum to my list of injuries. “Oh my gosh, he said something! Can you believe it?” The voice sounded like it wasn’t talking directly into the speaker. I still kept the phone a safe distance from my ear though. The caution paid off since the voice came back loud as ever, “Hi! I’m Pinkie. Isn’t this amazing? It’s like talking to a unicorn with an invisibility spell on, and I should know because I’ve had a lot, and I mean a lot of unicorns go invisible when I come near. It’s like playing hide and seek! Oooh, are you hiding from me now?”

My mouth nearly hit the floor. Oh fourth wall, I’m going to miss you. “Um, hi Pinkie. No, I’m not hiding, I’m just very far away.”

“Uh, hello? That means you are hiding from me. Otherwise I’d be able to see you, silly!”

“Yep, you’re definitely Pinkie,” I sighed. “I’m not actively hiding from you though.”

“Hmm, well you’re not doing a very good job of not hiding. I can’t find you anywhere.” Note to self: Pinkie’s hyperness wasn’t exaggerated. “Anyway, Doug says you found Sweetie, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom. How are they, are they okay? Have you played lots of games together?”

“They’re fine, they actually managed to fend off Discord.” While I couldn’t do crap. “Heh, they actually can stomach my cooking. As for games, I’ve shown them a few fun movies,” I explained.

“Ooh, you can cook?” Pinkie’s voice grew a little distant,“Hey Doug, bronies can cook! I wonder if they can bake cupcakes?” Her voice got loud again,“Can you make cupcakes? How about cookies or cakes? I’m not that bad a baker myself, you know. Oh, did you know that my friend Rarity secretly loves to eat entire plates of cookies? But then she has to go to the gym and—”

The image of the girls crying on the first day came back to me. “Yes, speaking of Rarity, have you heard anything about her or Applejack?”

The phone went silent for a few seconds. “Hey, this is Doug. What happened? Pinkie just handed me the phone and walked out of the room.”

“Oh crap! Tell her I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! I just wanted to know if they knew anything about the girls’ siblings.” Great John, you’re just Mr. Understanding.

“Oh no...” Another pause. “Look, I’m going to put Fluttershy on for a few minutes. It’s not your fault, the girls are just under a lot of stress and miss their friends. We only know the whereabouts of the Crusaders and Celestia. Everpony else is missing. I should have warned you. Here, I’ll get Fluttershy now. I need to go talk to Pinkie.”

There was some shuffling on the end of the line. Okay John, you’re about to talk to the most sensitive pony from the show. Just be nice. No Discord. No worries. No problems. Just be ni—

“Um...” came an incredibly small voice.

“Hello?” I paused and lowered my own voice. “Fluttershy?”

No response.

Oh crap, I scared her! My eyes started to dart around the room like it held the answers. “Um, look if you don’t want to talk that’s fine, just please don’t be sad, okay,” I blurted out.

“Oh, um... no. I mean, yes. I, um... “ Fluttershy somehow managed to grow more quiet, “Angel, what do I do?” A second later, her voice was closer, “Yes. I do want to talk to you.”

“Okay,” I replied, only to realize I didn’t really know what to say. “Um, anything you want to talk about?”

“Well, no...” I could have swore I heard a muffled “ouch” in the background. “I mean, yes. Oh, well um, do you like butterflies?”

That... was not what I was expecting. “Yes, I actually used to raise them when I was little.” I smiled a little at the memories of sitting around a little tent and watching dangling cocoons.

Fluttershy’s voice seemed to gain some volume. “Ooh, really? That’s great! Aren’t they just so cute and wonderful?” Her volume returned to it’s normal softness. “I raise animals too.” Another pause. “Or I used to...”

“Oh, um...” I scrambled for something to say. I took a deep breath and focussed. “Look, I’ve promised the girls I’ll get them home and I promise you that too.”

“Really?” She sounded like she perked up a little. “Do you really know how to get us home?”

Oh no, no no no! “I’ll do everything I can to find a way.”

“Oh,” her voice became the faintest whisper, “you don’t know either. It’s okay I guess, Doug promised to take us home, too.”

I felt the same as when I’d told the Crusaders about cutie marks. “Well, I keep my promises. I don’t know how yet, but I will help get you all home. I owe that now more to the Crusaders than before.”

More silence.

“Fluttershy... if it makes you feel any better, the girls were very happy to have found you two.”

“Are, um... could you maybe...” Here it comes, she’s gonna ask to go away. “I just... oh, nevermind.”

“If you want me to hang up that’s fine too,” I sighed.

“Oh no! I’m sorry, it’s not that. I just thought maybe I could say ‘hi’ to them. I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

Fluttershy couldn’t see it, but I was frowning immensely. “I’m sorry, the girls are with a friend right now. Tell you what though, you can talk to them tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes,” She paused for a moment. “That would be very... nice, thank you.”

“It is no problem. Tell Pinkie I’m very sorry.”

“Oh, okay. Um, do you want me to do that right now? I think she’s in the other room with Doug.”

“Anything to make her feel better,” I replied. My heart twisted a little.

“Okay. Well, here. I’ll let you talk to Angel while I go do that.”

There was more shuffling. Fluttershy’s voice was barely audible on the other side.“Here you go, Angel. I’ll be right back.”

The phone stayed silent. Wait, is he a bunny here? “Hello?”

Silence.

“Um...” I awkwardly smiled even though no one could see me. “Okay, Angel I’m going to assume you can’t talk here either... which makes this really awkward.”

More silence. I thought I heard a thumping sound in the background.

“Well, just keep those two happy. I bet you know Fluttershy better than anyone else. Please help them until we get them home.”

Still more silence.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

The phone shuffled again and Fluttershy’s voice returned. “Hello? I told Pinkie what you said,” there was a brief respite. “I don’t think she heard me, though.” I noticed the shaking in her voice.

“Oh.” I frowned again. “Well, she’s Pinkie, I’m sure she’ll be happy again soon,” I said, not fully trusting my words. I grasped for the only thing I could think of. “Um, maybe tell her I like making cakes?”

Her voice sounded even more shaky now. “Oh, well you see, um...” No, making her nervous! Maybe I should hang up. “Do you want me to do that now? It just... it’s probably not the best time.”

“N-no,” I replied in my own shaky tone. “You don’t have to do anything if you don’t think it’s helpful. I... look, I’m sorry. I’m not good at this stuff.”

“Oh, okay. You’re right, Pinkie should be okay. I’m sure Doug will get her to stop crying very soon.”

I awkwardly scratched my head with my cast. “Maybe it’d be best if I hung up now.”

“Oh no! Have I made you upset? I’m sorry!” Oh crap. “Oh it’ll be okay. Here, Doug’s back.” Oh thank god. “Maybe he can cheer you up, too? Here he is.” The sound of the phone passing hands filled the the speaker.

Doug whispered, “Can you go see her?” He was probably talking to Fluttershy. “Hello? Sorry about that, mate.”

“I messed up,” I sighed.

“No, don’t beat yourself up about it. Pinkie and Fluttershy both have been worried, and it’s all I can do to try to think up ways to keep them happy.” An audible sigh emanated from the phone. “She’ll come around eventually.”

“Okay,” I nervously replied. “Seems I’m not the best for taking care of ponies.”

“None of us are,” Doug’s tone darkened a little. “They don’t belong here, mate. It’s too much for them to handle. All they’ve ever known is Equestria, and it’s better that way. They need to be protected from violence. Corruption. Hatred. They need to be protected from...” The room felt very tense and I realized I was holding my breath. “Humanity.”

I paused for a moment and took everything in. My stomach twisted as Doug’s word’s ran through my head. “The girls are too young to understand most of it.”

He let out a very long and pained sigh. “It’s so much...” he began. “I’ve done everything I can, but it’s not enough.” There was another tense silence. “Discord nearly had us. I was moments away from choosing to stand and fight. Angel handed me the knife, but it’s the Spirit of Chaos, you know?” Another pause. “How can we win against that?”

I looked down at my cast, but then I remembered the Crusaders. “I’m worried too. I couldn’t do anything... but those kids were able to save me and drive him off. If a bunch of little girls can do that, it can’t be all bad, right?” I nervously asked.

It took a second for him to respond. “You have a point. How’d they manage it, anyway?”

“Um...” Now it was my turn to pause for a moment. “I was knocked out, but Apple Bloom well she kinda... kicked him where the sun doesn’t shine.” Did I really just say that?

There was more silence, but it almost instantly gave way to a chuckle which evolved into a fit of hearty laughter. “I’d love to have seen that. So that’s what Ashton meant, I guess. He mentioned Discord nursing his manhood. So it was Apple Bloom that got him? That’s great. Tell them I’m proud of them next time you see them.” Another small respite. "Those kids are something else when they work together. Their friendship really is...” I saw what was coming and almost sighed at the pun. “Magic...”

“Heh, well it’s where they’re from... I think.” I scratched my head again. “I really should ask them if the show is accur—”

“Wait a minute...” The line went quiet. “Hold on, we might be onto something here.” Doug’s voice seemed much more upbeat now. “You have all three girls, right?”

“Um, yes? You saw the picture right?” Where’s he going with this?”

“Bloody hell. Bloody Hell! Celestia’s all alone! Fluttershy’s still good with animals, but not as well as in the show.” I still had no idea where this was going. “And Pinkie can still do the things she does. But they’re both together with me, just like the Crusaders are all together...”

I raised an eyebrow. “I don’t follow.”

“What if that’s it? What if their friendship is their magic? Think about it, mate. The Crusaders basically did magic or something, right?”

“Yeah, at least I know Scootaloo hovered a little.”

“And Pinkie still defies physics... but not nearly as often as she does in the show. Yeah, think about it! It took having me break a Pinkie promise before she did anything strange. And Fluttershy was still good with animals the few times we’ve been around them, but it wasn’t like in the show. You still with me?”

“I think I’m getting it a bit...” I scratched my head some more. “Can Pinkie sense Pinkie promises?”

“Probably, but that’s besides the point. Look, this might not be anything at all, but the princess is alone and powerless.”

“What can we do about that?”

“I don’t think she’d remain powerless if she was in the company of her friends.” Hooollllyyy crap. “Look, I’ll say it again. It might not be anything, but I think we need to get you and the Crusaders here as quickly as possible. Then we can just sit back and... well, we’ll see what happens, but I have a feeling things will get interesting quickly.”

“Let’s just hope Discord doesn’t come back... I’ll get on the pictures as soon as we’re done here. If you need them, you have my email and they have my computer.”

“Okay. Okay, let’s not get too excited just yet. Look, I need to go take care of Pinkie right now, but I’ll keep an eye out for some updated photos. We need to get the papers to you as soon as possible.”

“Got it. Also, I promised Fluttershy I’d call tomorrow and put the Crusaders on. Is that okay?”

“That would be great. They could really use a good morale boost, and I’m sure that’d do the trick.” A slight pause this time. “Alright, I need to go now. Just one last thing. If Discord does show up again, keep an eye on Ashton. He’s a lying psycho, but... well, he helped me out. More than once.”

I sighed. “I don’t know what to make of him...” I thought back to the strange man who’d leapt out of my shower. “Being cautious is probably the best thing we can do around him. At least now we know him being around isn’t a good sign.”

“Maybe. Just get me those pictures soon. At the very least, the Equestrians will be much happier once they’re together.”

“My friends are on it. I’ll go check on it right now.” I inched my thumb over to the end call button. “Tell Pinkie I’m sorry.”

“Will do. Take care of yourself.”

“I’ll do the best a man in the hospital can. See ya.” I then clicked the button.

I leaned back in my bed and took a deep breath. “This is gonna be a crazy night.” I raised the phone in front of my face and got ready to call Sybil.

Recognition and Catching Up

“John?” Sybil’s voice asked through the phone. “What’s happening?” Her breathing became a little faster. “Everything is still normal, right?”

“Don’t worry,” I replied. “Aside from the broken body stuff, everything is good. I’m calling ‘cause I just got off the phone with the guy who’s got Fluttershy and Pinkie.”

“John, now is not the time for wild goose chases. He’s probably just sc—”

“I talked to Pinkie and Fluttershy, and don’t tell me it was just some imitators. This was the real deal. If anything, how concerned the guy with them sounded is proof enough that they’re genuine.”

“John...” she said, her voice shaking now, “why was he concerned?”

I took a deep breath. “Discord nearly got them, too.” I heard a withdrawal of breath on the other end of the line and quickly said, “They’re fine though.” Except for me causing Pinkie to have a breakdown. “That’s why I’m calling. How long will it take to dye the girls’ hair?”

“Um, Jane’s still working on it right now.” Sybil gave a small sigh. “I should have gone with black dye, then it’d just look like a squid exploded in here instead of, well... you get my point.”

“Good, the girls are taking it well?”

“Scootaloo seems fine so far, but Sweetie is a little nervous. Apple Bloom’s off playing Kingdom Hearts. Took her forever to figure out the controls, but I think she—”

“Sybil, focus,” I sighed. “How long until you can send pictures?”

“If you need the hair to look genuine, then we’ll need to wait until the morning.”

“Got it. Also, can you bring the girls here after you get the pictures done?”

“What?” Sybil yelled. Why is it always the ear?! “John, I can’t. Not with the police and all this stuff going on.”

“Look.” I sat up and focused my attention. “I made a promise to Fluttershy that’d I get the girls on the phone with them... it sounds like Pinkie is really shaken up by everything and the girls could probably help a lot. Just swing by around five tomorrow.”

There was a moment of silence before Sybil spoke up again. “Okay, with the dye, it should be safe, but I’m not staying long. I’m not gonna be on the nightly news.”

“Good thing all the cameras went crazy on campus then?”

“Yes I gue—” In the background, I heard a bizarre noise of something simultaneously cracking and splattering. Sybil screamed and I proceeded to drop my phone, only to instantly pick it back up.

“Oi Sybil! What is it?!”

“My dad’s going to kill me!”

I raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“John, I gotta go. I need to give my cat a bath now before he gets a brown stripe.”

“What?” Before I could get any other answers, the call ended. I stared at my phone for a few seconds before setting it on the little shelf next to my bed. Maybe it’s better I didn’t know.

I leaned back on my bed and thought over everything that had happened in the past few hours. My stomach was still in a knot over Pinkie. I... I’m sure the Crusaders will cheer her up. My thoughts then turned to all the other ponies that could be out there. Despite the day and a half sleep, my eyelids were getting heavy. Hope Applejack and Rarity are safe, I thought before drifting off into vague dreams.

~~~

“... might cause dizziness,” the doctor finished explaining as he scribbled out a perscription note. He then looked back up at me. “Do you have any other questions?”

“What about traveling?”

“You should be fine as long as you don’t do any heavy lifting or other strenuous activities.” He cast a quick glance at my cast. “No water either.”

“Got it.”

He handed me the prescription note. “We’ll keep you one more night to make sure the painkiller doesn’t have a negative interaction with your system.”

“But other than that I’m good?” I cautiously asked.

“Yes Mr. Bacanti, for the third time, you are healthy,” the doctor sighed.

“Thanks... and sorry about my dad, he’s probably gonna ask you that thirty times.”

“Why do you think we have nurses?” the doctor quipped.

~~~

Darn it, I underestimated them. “For the... you know what, I don’t even know what number I’m up to now. I’m fine!” I exclaimed to my parents. “Guh, no wonder Rachel went crazy with her cast; you drove her nuts.”

“Well, we just want to make sure,” mom said timidly. I, in turn, had a flashback to yesterday’s phone call.

“And you’ve made sure,” I bluntly replied. “The doctors said I just need to recover for a few months.” I leaned back a little in bed, but kept my eyes focused. “Anyway, when are you going to go get my stuff?”

“We thought it’d be best to get it right after we were done here,” said dad in his usual gruff tone. I was glad the tremble in his voice was gone now.

I glanced over at the clock. It read 11:37. Too early, it’s got to be around three in the morning in Australia. “Why don’t you go around five instead? You don’t want to be lugging all my stuff around all day, right? That can’t be good for the rental car.”

Dad scratched his beard. “I suppose.”

I took a deep breath. “Look, seeing me like this won’t make you feel any better. Why don’t you go grab some good food? Maybe go to that good sushi place in my honor,” I said with a faint smile. “Ooh, or go up to that Japanese market and grab some fun stuff for the car ride.” Anything to keep you away this afternoon.

“Whatever you want sweetie,” mom cooed. This is worse than when I left for school.

I inwardly shuddered a little, but kept a calm demeanor outward. “You’re here anyway, just enjoy the city a little.” I flashed them the best desperate smile I could conjure up and prayed they would go for it.

“You’re probably right,” my mom sighed. Dad still looked stern though... then again, that was normal for him.

The room grew silent as we both looked at dad. Finally, he spoke, “Whatever makes you happy John.”

“Good,” I said while thanking god that things seemed to have worked. “I’ll be fine here.” I gave dad a mischievous grin. “You, on the other hand, have probably been going through all the sicknesses you’ll catch here. Go get some fresh air.”

“Well, I do have some work to do,” dad murmured.

“Of course you do.” Yep, he’s better now. My parents started to go toward the exit.

As dad twisted the knob, mom turned her head around. “Oh, give your sister a call, she was worried about you.”

“And in other news, the apocalypse is upon us,” I replied. Though I think I’ll still give someone a call.

~~~

“Sybil, it’s John,” I said into the phone. “Did you send the pictures?”

“It’s all good on our end,” she replied. “We sent them as soon as we got up...” Her voice darkened a little. “... which was at six today. It’s like having my brother be a kid all over again.”

“Sorry. How’d the dye job go?”

“Save for royally ticking off my cat, fine.”

“Good. You’re okay to drive?” Sybil shaking like a leaf flashed through my mind.

“I’m better now... it’s a little hard to sleep though.” I noticed a tremble that I’d never heard in Sybil’s voice before. There was silence for a moment. “John, what are we gonna do? He just looked at me— looked— and made me a vegetable.”

I reclined back and sighed. I also got an odd sense of deja vu. “Sybil, I’m guessing you didn’t see how we all escaped that madness? Those kids were able to pull us out of it. Let’s just say some congratulations are in order when they get here.” I took a breath and steeled my voice. “As for Discord, he’s volatile, but random.”

There was a knock on my door. “Lunch,” came a voice from behind it.

“Shoot. Sybil, I think they’re here with my lunch and meds. From the sound of it, this stuff may make me a little loopy, so I’m gonna go now. Just come here at five and I’ll cover everything.”

“We’ll be there.” I clicked my phone off, pulled myself up on the bed a little, and got ready for lunch and painkillers.

~~~

Bzzz Bzzz. Huh? Bzzz Bzzz What is that? Bzzz Bzzz Actually, that kind of sounds like my ph— “Crap!” My eyes popped open and I flung my hands at my phone. I almost succeeded in crushing it with my cast and did succeed in causing a coughing fit as I answered it.

“He— cphl— llo?”

“Oh John,” came Jane’s voice. “Was worried something was wrong. You okay?”

“Yeah.” I paused for another fit of coughing. “Sorry,the painkillers must have made me a little sleepy. Had to lunge for my phone to answer it.”

“Just calling to tell you we’re on our way to your room.” My eyes darted over to the clock on the wall and saw it was already ten past five. Okay, so they didn’t make me just a little sleepy.

I had a brief moment of panic at what a mess everything was, but then remembered I was in a hospital not my dorm. “Well, it’s not like I’m going any...” The door knob turned. “...where.”

“John!” came three unified voices. Suddenly, I felt a dull sensation in my side, as if it were asleep. However, I was more concerned with the fact that I couldn’t breathe.

“Girls... can't breathe,” I hacked. The numb feeling in my ribs faded and I took a deep gasp of air. Yep, doctor wasn’t kidding about the hugs.

Staying alive taken care of, I shifted my attention back to the girls. Apple Bloom looked the same as always; she even had her bow back on. Sweetie and Scootaloo— at least I thought— would take a keen eye to pinpoint. Where once there had been purple and pink, there was now only brown on both their heads. Wait...

I squinted my eyes and noticed that their roots still had some of their original colors to them. Despite looking normal, the girls’ hair was a little off-putting. “Huh.”

“We didn’t hurt ya, did we?” asked Apple Bloom, bringing me back to reality.

I leaned back a little to get more comfortable. “No, it’s nothing too bad.”

“But...” Scootaloo quivered, “... your foreleg.”

“This little thing?” I raised my cast up and gave the girls a small grin. “Nothing to worry about. Now if it’d been my left arm, I might be a little more concerned.”

The girls all raised their eyebrows. “Why?” Sweetie asked.

“Oh yeah,” I playfully mused. “Can’t really be right or left handed if you don’t have hands. Hmm, guess casts are a bigger deal for you then.”

The girls went quiet and looked at the ground. I, in turn, lost my smile. I’m quite good at upsetting ponies, aren’t I?

“John,” Scootaloo spoke up, “he hurt you really bad didn’t he? Way more than just a few scrapes.” It dawned on me that both of Scootaloo’s arms had bandages on them. Her legs probably weren’t doing much better. Then I noticed the tears. “I... I tried, but he still hurt you,” she whimpered.

My neutral expression went into a full-on frown. “Scootaloo...” I noticed both Sweetie and Apple Bloom were looking forlorn as well. “All of you...” I took a deep breath. “Listen to me. Discord did bang me up, but the only reason I’m talking to you now is because of what you did back there.”

“But you still got hurt,” Sweetie whimpered as she tried and failed to fight back tears. Apple Bloom wasn’t doing much better.

Jane stepped forward. “John, maybe we could come back a different time.”

“No,” I instantly replied. “There’s a lot we need to talk about.” I inched for my phone and was about to call it when I remembered how I’d felt when Pinkie had broken down on the phone. I couldn’t do that to Doug or the other ponies. How do I calm them down? My eyes started darting around the room as if it held the answer I sought. A knot developed in my stomach as the girls looked more and more distraught. Oh god, this is just like the time with the ma—

“Girls, do you remember what I said about cutie marks?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom sniffled. “Humans don’t get them.” She brushed a few tears away, only for more to replace them. “Why are ya bringing that up though?”

“Because,” I explained, “humans don’t get physical marks to show that they can juggle well, do card tricks, or play an instrument. We have recognition though.”

“Recawhat?” Scootaloo asked.

“Knowing you’re good at something,” I replied. “When someone does something, people remember them for it. We even have a phrase for it, ‘leaving you mark.’ People get recognition not just because they’re good at something, but for other things as well.”

“You can get recognition for being good friends.” My eyes scanned over the girls, by now they’d stopped crying. I shifted my attention to Apple Bloom. “Or fighting when the odds are stacked against you.” Now I focussed on Sweetie Belle. “Or helping when no one else can.” Finally, my eyes fell on Scootaloo. “Or saving a life. There isn’t a symbol for any of those things, but you’ve earned those marks.”

The girls’ eyes all went wide as more tears flowed down them. They slowly walked over and gingerly gave me a hug. “R-really?” Sweetie stuttered.

“Yes,” I replied. I raised my good hand and patted their backs. “If it hadn’t been for you three, it wouldn’t have just been my life at risk, but everyone else’s as well.”

“T-thanks,” Scootaloo somehow managed to put a smile on her face.

“I should be thanking you,” I responded. “It’s not every day that three girls take out an ancient evil.”

“I was actually kinda wondering about that.” Apple Bloom, followed by her friends, backed off and scratched her head. “How come nopony ever knew that Discord had a weak spot on his belly?”

Ah, there’s that awkwardness again. Please don’t make me explain human anato—

“That was pretty easy,” Sweetie pondered. “I mean, the stories Rarity told me made it seem like...” Sweetie paused, reached up, and pulled a strand of her hair in front of her eyes. “Like...”

“You okay Sweetie?” asked Scootaloo.

Sweetie, in turn, grabbed Scootaloo and yelled, “She’s gonna kill me!” She rapidly spun to face Sybil, who, until now, had been standing near the door. She tugged on her hair and yelled, “This isn’t permanent, right?! Please tell me it’s not! Rarity will never forgive me otherwise!”

“No, no!” Sybil sputtered. “I couldn’t even get a full job done. Your hair... well, mane is still a better term and I’ve never dyed a mane before. The job will fade much faster than it usually would. I’m actually amazed it held together so well in the shower.”

“Oh thank Celestia,” Sweetie sighed in relief.

Scootaloo blew up a stray piece of hair that had fallen in front of her face while she’d been crying. “I still say we should have gone with rainbow color. That would have been awesome!”

Jane walked over and knelt down to Scootaloo’s level. “We went over this Scootaloo, rainbow hair doesn’t work as a good disguise.”

“I guess... Rainbow Dash would be able to do it though,” Scootaloo grumbled. She cast her eyes at the ground. “I hope she’s okay.”

I decided it was time. “Girls, are you feeling better now?”

“Yep!” They all said in unison.

“I mean, technically, we earned human cutie marks, right?” Sweetie asked to both me and her friends.

“I say we did!” Apple Bloom beamed.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders...” Scootaloo paused for second and clasped a hand to her chin. She suddenly raised both hands up and shouted, “Recognition Getters!”

“Yeah!” All three of them yelled.

“Girls, maybe keep it down a little?” Sybil suggested.

“Sorry,” they all replied.

“Anyway,” I said to get back on subject. “I think you deserve a reward for saving us.”

“What kind of reward?” Sweetie asked.

I picked up my phone and pulled up my call history. I then pressed the only unfamiliar number on the list. “Well, given who they are, I’m sure one of them will enjoy this.” The other one might jump out of her skin.

There was ringing on the other end of the line as I waited for the call to pick up. Hope I didn’t call too early.

“Hello?”

“Doug?” I asked.

“Yeah. Is this John?”

“Yep...” My eyes went over the Crusaders again. “The girls doing better?”

I heard a small snort on the other side of the line. “Yeah, they’re alright. Pinkie... well, that was going to happen to her anyway. She had a lot of built-up stress. It’s probably best that she let it all out when she did.” There was a slight pause. “Fluttershy and Angel are coping pretty well for the moment. How about the Crusaders? And you, for that matter.”

“Heh, better. The painkillers they gave me packed a bit of a punch the first time I took them... as for the Crusaders, well...” My eyes went over the girls, who were giving me confused looks while I talked. “Perhaps they could tell you themselves. Oh! But would it be possible to put this call on speaker so that every... um... one can hear and talk?”

“Sure.” I pulled my phone away from my ear and pressed the speaker button. Doug’s voice then filled the room. “There, it’s on. I need to go get the girls, I think they were sleeping in. Angel’s here though, I’ll hand it to him for a moment.”

Sweetie eyed the phone with curiosity. “So is this a friend of yours? Is he a bear... he kinda sounds like a bear.”

“Can’t really tell you,” I replied. “We just met recently...” Over the phone, I could make out an audible thumping noise. “And one of his ‘friends’ he found sounds impatient.”

“Well, why doesn’t whoever this is say something then?” asked Scootaloo.

“Um...” I awkwardly smiled. “Problem is, the guy on the other end of the line right now isn’t exactly the best talker.”

There was a frantic stomping in the background, followed by a voice— still a bit too far away from the phone— saying, “Girls! It’s your auntie Pinkie!”

“Pinkie Pie?!” the Crusaders all screamed.

“Get some clothes on first, Pinkie!” Doug yelled in the background. “Hey! Don’t blow raspberries at me; get back here this instant!”

“Pinkie Pie!” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo frantically looked up at me. “She can hear us, right? That’s how this weird thing works, right?”

Sweetie rushed to my side and practically shoved her face into my phone. “Pinkie Pie! If you can hear us, please say something, okay?”

Pinkie didn’t seem be listening and was more focused on her argument with Doug. “Fine! I’ll be right back, girls! Someone’s being a meany-pants. I mean, really. It’s not like anyone can see...”

Doug cut her off, “Go on! The quicker you get dressed, the quicker you can talk.” His voice grew more solid and directed. “Sorry about that, she got a little too excited.”

“Beats seeing her sad,” I replied. “Anyway...” The Crusaders looked like they were about to explode from excitement. “Now might as well be a good time for introductions. Girls, say hi to Doug and introduce yourselves.”

“Okay,” said Apple Bloom with a giddy smile. “Howdy, I’m Apple Bloom.” She paused and looked up at me. “This doesn’t really feel right. Granny Smith always said ya look a pony in the eye and shake their hoof when you meet them.”

“It’s usually the same here,” I replied, “but this is an exception. It was the only way we could have talked with Pinkie and Fluttershy.” Hmm, well I guess we could have done Sky—

“Pinkie and Fluttershy?!” gasped Scootaloo. She looked down at my phone. “Wow, thanks for finding them mister... I’m Scootaloo by the way.”

“And I’m Sweetie Belle,” Sweetie practically sang. “It’s really nice to meet you.”

There was a pause on the other end, but before I could say more, Doug spoke up again, sounding a little less stressed than he had before. “Hi girls, I’ll have your friends here to talk in a moment, they’re just getting ready. It’s a real pleasure to meet you.” He paused again. “Angel is here, if you want to say Hi.”

Apple Bloom scratched her head. “Fluttershy’s pet bunny? Why’s he...” Her eyes then went wide. “Oh no! If Angel is here, what if Winnona is, too? What if she’s stuck somewhere and I ca—”

I reached over and awkwardly put my cast on her shoulder. “I’m sure she’s fine. She’s an Apple family dog, right?”

“Yeah...” Apple Bloom said with a bit of a softer voice.

“If we were scared, imagine how scared a bunny would be,” Sweetie postulated.

Scootaloo took the lead and focused on the phone. “Mr. Doug, can we talk to Angel? I mean, he’s probably okay if he’s with Fluttershy, but he probably misses his other friends.”

“... or siblings,” Sweetie whispered.

There was more silence on the line before Doug came back. “Well girls, Angel can’t really talk. You... can understand him sometimes with his body language, I’m guessing? Well...”

“Well, he is a bunny,” replied Scootaloo.

“Yeah, I’ve never heard of a talking bunny,” said Apple Bloom.

“What would they talk about anyway?” asked Sweetie.

“Uh, Angel seems to want the phone anyway. I guess you can at least say hello to him. The girls... your friends should be here shortly. Here’s Angel,” said Doug. Silence then filled the room.

“Um...” Scootaloo looked away from the phone and at her friends and me. “This is really weird.”

“Yeaaaah.” I raised up my good hand and scratched my head. “Same thing happened when I had to talk to him last night.” I flashed the girls a smile. “Well, at least he’s a good listener.”

That got a chuckle out of the girls. “I think he’d thump ya on the head if he was here,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah, he was really mad at us when we got back from the Everfree the one time,” said Sweetie.

Scootaloo rubbed a spot on her head. “Don’t remind me. My head still hurts when I think ab—”

Doug’s voice was distant once more and there was a hacking noise on the other end as well. “You okay?”

A new voice then came through the phone. It was definitely young, but sounded very strained, like its owner had a sore throat or something. “Hhh...hhhhhhag? Hhhag?”

“Bloody son of a....” Doug stammered. “You can talk? You can talk?!”

“Hag?” came the new voice.

“Who’s that?” asked Sweetie.

Before I or the girls could raise more questions, Fluttershy’s voice entered the call. “Oh, is everything okay out here? W-was that Sweetie Belle I just heard?”

“Fluttershy!” All the girls yelled.

I really hope everyone else in the hospital turned deaf just for today, I thought.

“Oh my god,” said Sybil.

Jane looked over at me and her eye twitched a little. “John... this just got really weird... I mean, if that was really Pinkie earlier, and now...” She ran a hand through her hair. “Oh Jesus.”

The screaming and confusion hadn’t apparently gotten to Doug as he was more focused on whatever conversation he was having on the other end of the line. “Fluttershy, listen to this!”

“I’m baaaaack!” Pinkie yelled before devolving into giggles.

“Oh, um... what am I listening to?” Fluttershy curiously asked.

“Hag!” said the strange voice.

Everyone else on the other end of the line gasped.

“Doug?” I asked, hoping to sort out some of this confusion. “What’s going on? Who’s there and why does he sound like he’s coughing up a furball?”

Finally, Doug seemed to zone back in on the conversation. “John? Sorry, mate. Are you hearing this? That’s Angel, and he’s trying to talk!”

“What?!” Everyone on our side screamed.

“Awww,” Fluttershy cooed. “He just wanted to say hello to his friends! I’m sooo proud of you! Oh, um... are you still there, girls? I thought I heard Sweetie Belle...”

“Yep!” Sweetie chirped. “I’m here and so are the rest of the Crusaders!”

“Yeah!” yelled Apple Bloom and Scootaloo with huge smiles on their faces.

“Oh hi girls!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “I’m so happy to hear your voices. Are you all doing okay? None of you are hurt or... or scared, are you?”

“Nope,” they all replied.

“I mean, we were really scared at first...” said Apple Bloom.

“And even more scared when Discord showed up,” continued Sweetie.

“But we’re okay now and really happy you and Pinkie are safe too,” Scootaloo finished.

“Isn’t this exciting?” Pinkie practically screamed. “We were all feeling sooo sad and lonely and we had no idea what happened, but then out of nowhere Doug comes along and promises to take care of us and get us back home! And then we somehow found you girls and we’re all totally safe and happy, and Angel’s suddenly talking, and... and it’s like a big party!” Pinkie then exploded into a fit of giggles, snorts, and what could only be described as jubilation in noise form. I thought I heard a few sniffles mixed in with the otherwise joyful sounds.

“Heh, same old Pinkie Pie,” Scootaloo commented.

“Always wanting to throw a party,” Apple Bloom mused.

“This definitely ranks as one of the stranger ones though,” said Sweetie.

“Oh!” Scootaloo said with a grin. “Have you guys tried this thing called French Toast? It’s really good, but I don’t think anypony ever made it.”

“Yeah...” Sweetie tapped her chin. “I mean, there’s white toast, wheat toast...” She blushed a little. “Burnt toast...”

“Hmmm... I don’t know,” Pinkie admitted. “Have you made that for us?” she asked to someone on the other line.

“No, just regular toast,” Doug replied. “I’ve never tried to make French toast.”

“Ya really should... I mean, John probably is the best at making it, but I’d be fine if anypony made it,” said Apple Bloom. She smacked her lips a little. “... especially if ya added apples.”

“It’s really not that hard,” I responded. Feeling the positive mood in the room, I decided to risk a question. “Pinkie, are you feeling any better?”

“Uh huh!” she happily replied, though not with as much enthusiasm as when she she’d been talking about a party. “Don’t feel bad about the other day! Pinkie’s just going to hang in there until the girls arrive, then we’ll all find the rest of our friends together!”

“That’s great. I’m still very sorry about what I said though.” Confidence restored, I decided to continue the questions. “And how are you doing Fluttershy?”

“Who, me? Oh, um... I’m doing good, I think,” Fluttershy murmured.

“Hag!” Angel chimed in.

“Yes. Angel’s doing good, too,” Fluttershy continued.

“That’s great,” I replied, glad that both ponies on the other side of Pacific were in better spirits. My eyes then went over to the Crusaders. “Well, this is your your reward. Talk as long as you like.”

“Yay!” all three of them yelled.

Sweetie looked down at her hand and flexed it before turning her attention back to the phone. “So were you freaked out by hands?”

“Or compotters?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Or those weird scribbles everywhere?” asked Scootaloo.

Pinkie chuckled. “Those are all great, aren’t they? It’s sooo easy to hold a Coke using hands, and the computer is what Doug used to find you three and Princess Celestia! Oh, and those scribbles are human words. I can totally read them now, even without squinting!” Pinkie produced more giggles.

“Wait...” Apple Bloom swirled what Pinkie had said around her head and then her eyes turned to pinpricks along with the other Crusaders’.

“Princess Celestia?!” They and my friends yelled. I was beginning to think my ears would be busted by the end of this call.

“Yeah! She’s in some place called At-lan-ta,” Pinkie said, carefully pronouncing the unfamiliar name. “She was found by a dragon!”

“What?” the Crusaders yelled again.

“I didn’t know ya had dragons here,” said Apple Bloom.

My face blanched a little. “We don’t.”

“Pinkie! Give me that,” Doug very audibly grabbed the phone and his voice became much louder. “Sorry girls. The princess was found by a friend of mine. His name is DragonLS.”

“Ack!” Sweetie complained. “He’s doing that thing Princess Luna did on Nightmare Night!”

Doug sighed loudly. “Here Fluttershy, you hold the phone.” There was some more shuffling and Doug’s voice went back to normal levels. “Got it? Okay, good. Anyway, the princess is safe for the moment, girls.”

“Oh, well that’s a relief. I’m sure she’ll be able to fix this real easily,” Apple Bloom sighed in relief. She happily crossed her arms in contentment.

“Yeah,” said Scootaloo. “I mean, aside from Rainbow Dash, she’s gotta be the only pony who could fix this.”

“Actually,” Doug spoke up, “I was just talking to Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel about something yesterday.”

“About what?” asked Sweetie.

Curious, the girls group together and advanced closer to my phone to listen to Doug. “Well, maybe you three can help me out here. We happen to know that the princess lost all of her magic when she came here.”

All the girls gasped at this.

“She... she doesn’t have her magic?” Sweetie quivered.

“Oh no,” Apple Bloom moaned. Scootaloo said nothing and just dejectedly kicked the air.

“But don’t worry,” Doug interrupted. “We think we know a way to help get it back.” He paused for a moment. “Sweetie, you used some kind of magic, didn’t you? Scootaloo, too.”

Sweetie’s face scrunched up a little. “I mean... maybe. I’ve never been able to really do magic before... but John said it helped.”

“It was awesome!” Scootaloo screamed, clenching her fists in excitement. “It’s probably what Rainbow Dash feels like all the time!” She stopped, unclenched her fists, looked at her back, and grew a little crestfallen. “But now they’re gone again.”

“Well, let me tell you something else first, then I want to see if you three come to the same conclusion I did,” Doug said. “Princess Celestia is alone with my friend and has no magic, right?”

“She is?” Sweetie frowned. “That’s awful. If I’d been here without Apple Bloom or Scootaloo...” She shivered as the scenario played out in her head.

“Doug, you’re still going on this theory?” I asked.

Doug ignored me and continued, “And you three are together with John, and you somehow managed a bit of magic, right?”

“Well, Sweetie and Scootaloo did,” Apple Bloom replied. “I just kinda kicked that bully.”

“Pinkie and Fluttershy are here with Angel and me. Fluttershy is able to communicate with animals, but not quite as well as usual. Pinkie can feel her Pinkie sense... barely. She can also do, uh, the things Pinkie does, but not as often as usual. You still with me?”

“Well Fluttershy’s always been good with animals,” said Scootaloo. “And Pinkie is just Pinkie... maybe they’re just not used to stuff here.”

“Oh!” Sweetie flailed her hands like she was in class. “Maybe being a hum-ane is harder if you have a cutie mark!”

“Then that would mean we’re actually better off here than anypony else,” Apple Bloom said with a grin. “Not that I don’t want ma cutie mark or anything.”

“That has to be it!” Pinkie yelled in the background. “Oh, wait. That’s not what Doug told us. Sorry!”

“No, it’s not. Though it’s a really good guess,” said Doug.

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow and looked back and forth between her friends. “So were we right or not?”

“Well, you could be right, but it’s not what I had in mind. Let’s list what we know and I’ll give you another guess,” Doug said. “You three have each other, and some magic. Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Angel have each other, and some magic... or at least abilities that we humans don’t possess. Princess Celestia is all alone, and has no magic at all. Do you see a pattern there?”

“Oh!” Apple Bloom’s eyes lit up. “So we just need to get Celestia a special somepony.”

“What?!” the rest of us in the room yelled.

“Um, Apple Bloom, I think the princess might just need some friends,” Sweetie suggested.

Apple Bloom reddened a little. “Oh yeah... right.”

“Correct!” Doug announced. “What Sweetie Belle said. We could be wrong, but I think anyone from Equestria might have their talents boosted when they’re with their friends. It might explain why the princess has no magic, but both of our groups of Equestrians can manage a small amount. Imagine what might happen once you all get together.”

“Maybe enough to set things right.” I’d meant for it to be a thought but I’d said it aloud.

“We could go home?” Scootaloo hopefully asked.

Sweetie eyes teared up a little.“I could see my sister?”

Apple Bloom got a little misty eyed as well. “Mine too?”

“We think so!” Pinkie chimed in. “I don’t really understand it all, but it would be great if Doug’s right!”

“Even if he’s wrong, at least we’ll be together,” Fluttershy chimed in.

“Hag.” Angel agreed.

All three of the girls’ expressions softened. “It’s just great to know other ponies are okay too,” said Apple Bloom.

“Hey, maybe just talking like this will help,” Sweetie suggested.

“Yeah, we just need to keep talking!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“Uh, I...” Doug stammered. “I don’t think that... you know what? I have no objections. Talk away.”

“So what’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen?” Scootaloo asked.

“I bet it was those vaedyo games,” suggested Apple Bloom. “You girls shoulda tried it, it was really fun.”

“Or maybe those magic card key things,” said Sweetie.

“I didn’t see it, but can you believe that a spider actually bit me?” Fluttershy asked quietly. “I didn’t even do anything to it, I don’t know why it did that.”

“You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve seen on the internet,” Pinkie said. “What? Don’t look at me like that, Captain! I got on the computer while you were sleeping. It’s not like you could tell me not to.”

I instantly saw where this conversation was going and moved to avoid it. “Um, anyway Doug, did you get the pictures my friends sent?” My eyes went over to the girls’ hair. “Guess it must have been a little shocking seeing them as brunettes.”

Doug seemed to be dealing with Pinkie, whispering, “I’m going to have another talk with you later, Pinkie.” He then returned back to his normal voice. “Uh, yeah we got the pictures. These ones should do fine, I just need to talk to a friend of mine to be certain, then we can get you some passports made up. If all goes well, you’ll have them in a few days.”

“Okay... I’ll send my mailing address once we’re done here,” I replied. I then looked over at the girls. “Anything else you want to say?”

“Well...” Scootaloo kicked her legs around. “I can’t really think of anything.”

“Me neither,” said Sweetie. “I didn’t think we’d be talking to them so soon, but... well...” Her eyes went to the ground.

“Sweetie.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “If you want to ask, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“No,” Sweetie said in a very soft voice. “It’s fine.”

“Well if you’re not gonna say it then I will,” Apple Bloom said with a determined yet melancholic tone. “Pinkie, Fluttershy... if...if ya find our sisters, please tell us, okay?” A few tears escaped her eyes at the request.

“Awww, of course we’ll tell you!” Pinkie replied, sounding much less hyper than her usual self. “Now chin up, girls! You’re coming to visit your Aunties Pinkie and Fluttershy soon. Together with Doug, John, and Angel, we’ll find them no matter what!”

“Thank you,” Sweetie sniffled, brushing away some tears of her own.

“Yeah Pinkie, that’s pretty awesome of you,” said Scootaloo with her normal excited voice. She wasn’t that good at hiding the few specs of water in her eyes though.

Apple Bloom managed a smile.“Maybe... maybe we’ll throw you a party when we get there.”

Pinkie responded with more excited sounds. I could have sworn I heard a few firecrackers going off and possibly a victorious trumpet.

“Sounds good to me,” said Doug. “I guess I should let you go for now. It should be about dinner time for you now, right? I don’t want to hang up until everyone’s happy to, though.’

I looked over the girls. While they still had a few tears on their faces, they also had smiles as well. “I think this definitely helped out. Sounds the same on your end too... Fluttershy’s been a little quiet though. She alright?”

“Oh, I’m here. It’s just nice listening to you all talk,” Fluttershy said.

“Okay, well girls, I think it’s time to hang up for now.” We’ve probably scared half the hospital by now. “Doug, it’s okay if they ever want to call again, right?”

“Yeah, mate. That’s fine. It won’t be too long, and they’ll be able to talk face to face. Don’t worry about call costs, either. I can cover those for you.”

“Actually... there’s also Skype too,” I suggested. Glad I remembered that.

“A what?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It’s like a phone, but you can also see people on it,” I explained.

“Whoa!” said all the Crusaders with wide eyes.

“Can you show us now?” asked Sweetie.

“Maybe some other time,” I replied. “For now, why don’t you say your goodbyes?”

“Okay,” said Scootaloo. “It was really great talking with you, Pinkie and Fluttershy. Thanks for helping them Mr. Doug.”

“Yeah, super thanks,” said Apple Bloom.

“Super mega thanks,” said Sweetie. She then got odd looks from her friends. “What?”

“It just sounds a little repata... repeata... silly to say super and mega next to each other,” explained Apple Bloom.

“Hey!” Sweetie yelled back.

“Okay, okay. I think I got the point,” Doug intervened. “We’re going to count to three, then everyone’s going to say ‘bye,’ all right?”

“Sure,” said all the Crusaders. I got the feeling simultaneous goodbyes would be a piece of cake for them.

“Okay then. One... two... three! Bye!” Doug yelled.

“Bye!” Pinkie and Fluttershy said.

“Hag!” Angel yelled.

“Bye!” said the girls at the same time.

“Oddest phone conversation ever,” Sybil joked.

“Amen,” said Jane.

“Heh, see ya’ll around,” I said. “Stay safe. We’ll keep in touch.”

Then the call ended. I took a breath and fell back on my bed. “Well, was that a good enough gift for you?” I asked the girls.

“Totally,” Scootaloo said with a smile.

“Yep,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie grinned at me like it was Christmas. “Uh-huh.”

I shifted around to get a little more comfortable. “Good. Now on to other business. My eyes moved over to Sybil. “Sybil, I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need someone to drive them to my house tomorrow. Knowing my parents, we’ll probably stop halfway and rest for the night.”

“It’s safer than keeping them here,” Sybil replied. She looked over at the girls. “Please just try not to destroy my car.”

“We promise,” they said in unison.

“Where are we going anyway?” asked Sweetie.

“My home,” I explained.

Apple Bloom corked her neck at my reply. “I thought that big school was also your home.”

“In a sense,” I replied. “College is just a place where students live and stay most of the year, but we also go home to see our parents on holidays and breaks.”

“That sounds confusing,” said Scootaloo.

Memories of dealing with the airport when I was coming back for Thanksgiving flashed in my mind. “It sometimes is. Anyway, that’s where we’re going.” I looked over at Jane and Sybil. “Actually, if you can, go to my room and grab some of my dvds.” I flashed the girls a devious grin. “You might as well learn about a certain man called Miyazaki.”

“John, you insane man,” Sybil chuckled. “Oh well, some entertainment couldn’t hurt. Hmm, maybe I’ll introduce them to a certain dark knight.”

Sweetie smiled up at Sybil. “Ooh, I love stories about knights.”

Sybil chuckled a little in response. “This one’s a little different.”

“I’m just glad you agreed.” I sharpened my attention on Sybil. “Seriously, thank you.” I then focussed on Jane. “Jane, you should probably go back to your parents. I’m already asking Sybil enough as it is. Besides, too many of us together could draw attention. I’ll stay in touch though.”

Jane looked down and shifted her feet around a bit. “Okay, guess my parents would be a little curious.”

“How do you think mine will feel?” Sybil joked.

“Anyway...” My gaze drifted back to the Crusaders. “That’s the plan. Once Doug has everything arranged, we’ll be off to see Pinkie and Fluttershy. Who knows, maybe we’ll find somepony else before then.”

The Crusaders all brightened up at this.

Scootaloo happily clenched her fists in excitement. “That’d be sweet!”

Apple Bloom enthusiastically fist-pumped. “Yeah, why, I bet we’ll find everypony in no time.”

“Hey,” Sweetie said with a slightly devious smile, “maybe we’d get more ‘recognition’ finding other ponies. You know what that means?”

“Oh crap,” I, Sybil, and Jane all groaned.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Pony Finders! Yay!”

“Girls, geez,” I sighed. “You’re gonna draw...” My whole body went stiff and my eyes practically popped out of my head. Mom and dad were at the door carrying a few grocery bags.

“Are we interrupting anything?” asked mom.

Travel

“John, what’s going on here?” asked dad. I’d seen dad get mad at multiple things: not taking out the dog, taxes, and work to name a few. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Right now his voice was calm and a bit confused, but I was currently playing out his explosion at finding out I’d been taking care of humanized trans-dimensional ponies. That was an even less-pretty sight.

“I...um...er...” I stumbled with my words.

“They’re my cousins!” Sybil blurted out. She walked over to dad and clasped his hand. It actually took him a second to gather that he was being greeted. “Sorry, guess we haven’t met. I’m Sybil, John’s friend. Jane and I were with John when all this happened and we just wanted to make sure he was okay.”

“Oh...” Not gonna lie, seeing dad really stumped is very disconcerting. It’s one of the few expressions I really don’t see from him that much. His eyebrows shifted really high up and his lower lip sort of hung open. It was as humorous as it was odd-looking. “Well, thank you for helping my son... but why did you bring your cousins?” His eyes went over to the Crusaders, who were still huddled near my bed. “They seem a little young to be coming to a hospital just to see someone they don’t know.”

“Well, we were worried about Jo—” I reached over and grabbed Scootaloo with my cast and noogied her head with my good arm. “Ack!”

Once I was sure Scootaloo would be distracted, I let go and looked back up at my parents. “Ah, they’re just a bunch of crazy kids... I told you about them, right?” I lied.

“I don’t remember,” mom murmured.

I playfully snapped my fingers, fully getting into my act. “Oh that’s right, I didn’t tell you cause...” I shifted around in an uncomfortable manner. “Well...

Dad walked over and his face grew a bit more stressed. “Well what?”

I pushed back the shiver on the back of my neck and continued my tale. “Well, we all went over to Sybil’s house for MLK weekend.” The Crusaders were looking up at me with curious looks while I spun my story. “They had a three day weekend too, so their parents were visiting as well.” I smiled a little. “So we watched some movies and played a few board games with them. They’re actually quite good at Apples to Apples.”

Apple Bloom brightened at the mention of apples. “Well, I mean, I am, but I don’t know about Swee—”

“Anyway,” I interrupted. “We eventually went playing outside and chucked a frisbee around. Unfortunately, stupid thing got stuck in a tree and, being the tallest one there, I had to get it.” I faked shuddering at the memories. “Climbing trees is not fun in the middle of winter. Must have nearly killed myself five times trying to get it.”

“You what?!” dad yelled, causing the girls to scoot away from him and over to Sybil and Jane. He reached down and clasped hard on my left shoulder. “John, this couldn’t have be prevented, but that was stupid of you!”

I was legitimately shaking now. “T-that’s why I-I didn’t want to tell you, see?” I craned my neck and glanced over at mom, who seemed a little shocked taking everything in, and gave her a pleading look for help.

But before she could respond, dad loosened his grip and backed off. “You’re smarter than that. Even Rachel knows her limits most of the time.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and walked to the door, but before leaving he turned and looked at mom. “I’ll be in the lobby.”

The room was silent for a few second before Sweetie spoke up. “Is... is he okay?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “He’s just overprotective. It’s what I get for telling him about you.” And that was just a lie. I shifted my attention back to mom. “Anyway, after that, the girls thought I was some tree-climbing hero or something.” I chuckled a little. “I tell them I’m not, but you know how kids can be. But that aside, probably not best to just call them kids.”

I raised my good hand and pointed at Apple Bloom first. “The red-haired one is Alice, the spikey-haired one is Samantha, and the regular brunette is Bella. Girls, say hi to my mom.”

The girls all scratched their heads in confusion at the names. Luckily, it clicked for Sweetie first. She nervously walked over and raised a hand up to mom. “Um, hi.”

“Oh... uh...” Mom bent down and shook Sweetie’s hand. “Nice to meet you. The other Crusaders walked over and repeated the process. I tried my best to keep a smile without worrying that at any second Sweetie’s horn would pop out of her head or Scootaloo’s wings would burst out of her back.

Greetings finished, mom stood back up and focused on me. She walked over and handed me a bag. “I hope we got everything you wanted.”

This time I did genuinely smile. The bag could have only come from the Japanese market up north that I hardly ever got to go to. “You know me too well.”

“Well, I am your mother,” mom playfully responded. “I got tons of snacks for the car. Anything to make you comfortable.”

At this point, I noticed that snickering behind mom and saw everyone else was trying to hold back laughing, especially the Crusaders. I shot them a false disdainful look. “Oh yeah, laugh it up while the sick man is down.” I reclined back on the bed and sighed, “Frickin’ girls.”

Mom turned to look at them and then back at me. “Oh don’t mind them... if you want me to go that’s fine too though. I know how girls can be at that age.” She leaned a little closer. “You got an eye on either of the older ones?”

“Mom!” I yelled, face a little red now. “Not in a hos—” I then proceeded to pretty much cough up a lung. When the coughing fit died down, mom looked as pale as a sheet. “See? That’s why you don’t say those things.”

Unfortunately, that was enough to start her waterworks.

“Oh lord,” I sighed. “It’s just a coughing fit. I’ve already had enough people today acting like it’s my wake. At least save it until my friends are gone.” She sniffled a little in response.

I turned my head over at everyone else. “Looks like it’s ‘family bonding time.’ Thanks for coming though. I’ll call ya’ll later, okay?”

They all started to turn to the door and as they did an idea struck me. I reached into the bag and looked through it’s contents. I smiled at the inclusion of mochi, rice I could make later, seasonings, and some pocky. However, I noticed one of the boxes was strawberry flavored: bad news for me, good news for the Crusaders. “Hey girls.”

The Crusaders turned their heads and asked, “Yes?”

“Catch.” I chucked the strawberry pocky at them. I nearly had a full on panic attack when when I caught a glimpse of a spark on Sweetie’s head. The pocky stopped mid-air for a split second before skidding to the ground at the Crusaders’ feet. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom nervously looked at Sweetie whose mouth was gaping open.

“Oh!” I cried out. “Sorry, guess throwing that must have been a bit of a shock.” I clenched and unclenched my fist. “And I can’t even throw it at full strength.” I let out a very nervous chuckle. “Well... um... that should still be okay. Hope I didn’t break any of them.”

Apple Bloom slowly knelt down and picked up the box. “T-thanks John.”

Sybil put a hand on Scootaloo and Sweetie’s backs while Jane did the same to Apple Bloom. Jane gave me a tiny smile and said, “Well, we’ll be off. Hope you get better soon.”

With that, the Crusaders were ushered out of the room. Right as the door closed, I could have sworn I heard a little girl shout something about about awesomeness. I shuddered.

“You... you have some odd friends,” mom commented.

“Heh,” I awkwardly croaked, “haven’t I always?”

~~~

“I think that gave me grey hairs,” Sybil said over the phone.

“No crap,” I replied. I braced myself against some railing and looked outside. The sun had fully disappeared below the horizon and the moon was steadily inching higher into the sky. However, the light from the city still lit up everything. I could even make out my school’s clocktower. “Did Sweetie do that on purpose?”

“No,” Sybil replied, her voice a little shakier now. “She just freaked out because you threw that stupid candy at them.”

“I couldn’t have known that would happen!” I took a breath and recomposed myself. “We’ll just need to be careful and not do anything that will startle any of them. How are they anyway?”

“Asleep right now,” Sybil sighed, her tension leaving her as well. “Wouldn’t stop talking about magic all the way back to my home though. I’m just glad Scootaloo didn’t try to get her wings working.”

I thought back to the multiple scrapes she’d incurred over the past few days. “She should be fine. She may put on a brave face, but things have been rough for her.”

“I suppose. So, can you give me a breakdown on what the plan is?”

“I’m leaving the hospital at seven thirty tomorrow morning. Unless we stop for breakfast or something it’s just gonna be a straight ride on the I-10 until Fort Stockton. My parents never do the drive home in one run. We’ll be there for the night. I get the feeling you’ll want a break from the Crusaders as well.”

“Sounds fair.”

“Saturday will just be a drive right back to my home. My dad will probably go back to his office for a bit and my mom will have to pick up my sister.” Not that she’s ever at the house anyways, I thought with a smile. “When they’re both gone that’ll be when you drop off the girls.”

“You’re sure this’ll be safe?” Sybil asked, concern lacing her voice.

“My guest house has everything the girls need: fridge, stove, bathroom with a shower, and a large bed. It’ll be fine, it’s actually an improvement over what we were doing in the dorm. You have to at least admit that. The most dangerous part will be waiting for their passports to arrive.”

“You sent your address to the guy with Fluttershy and Pinkie?”

“Right before I called you actually.”

“So your parents really don’t suspect anything?”

I frowned and took a breath. “As much as I hate to say it, using my injuries puts their concerns back on me. They could care less about your ‘cousins.’ Nice save by the way.”

“One of us had to say something or this would’ve become a mess again.” Sybil very audibly and playfully sighed. “Let’s not repeat that.”

“Heh, we try our best...” I glanced down out my cast. Guess I’m not trying very hard right now. “So you’re good on everything for the trip?”

“I should be. I’ve got my car loaded up with enough DVDs, music, and some old coloring books to keep them busy.”

“Good. Don’t hesitate to call me for anything. Just remember to stay a few miles behind us.” I braced myself against the rail as a fit of dizziness came over me. I pushed harder against the rail to make sure I didn’t fall over. “Ugh, darn painkillers are kicking in. Sybil, I’m gonna go now if there’s nothing else to talk about.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll give Jane a call tomorrow. Stay safe.” I then clicked my off button and ended the called. I slowly turned around and looked back at my bed. It seemed very very far away now. “Okay, gonna do this without breaking my other arm.”

~~~

By the time I finished the breakfast tacos my parents had bought before picking me up from the hospital, most of the San Antonio had given way to the nature, which was progressively getting more and more uniform and empty. The hills around the city were giving way to vast plains of desert.

It’s also the most boring drive possibly imaginable. My parents asking every five minutes if I was okay didn’t help. I wiped my face with a napkin just as mom asked the question again. “You’re sure you’re feeling fi—”

“Yes!” I complained. Raising my voice caused my side to sting a little. I tenderly brought my good hand over to it and massaged it. “Or I would be if you both stopped asking.”

I sighed and pulled out my prescription bottle. The doctors said I had to take the painkillers with dinner and breakfast. I popped off the cap and put one of the pills on my palm. I turned my attention away from it and back to my parents. “Taking my meds now.”

I swallowed the pill with a swig of water and then reached down to grab my laptop and headphones. “I’m also watching a movie.”

“Okay,” mom replied. Dad said nothing. He had already pulled out his Ipad. I knew he wouldn’t be a problem now. His work mode was legendary.

I sat back and loaded up Pineapple Express. However, my eyes kept wandering up to the wireless icon. I knew the Crusaders had a computer on them, but it was useless for communications in the desert. I resigned myself to watching Seth Rogen’s antics.

~~~

I was awoken by a buzzing in my pocket. I blearily opened my eyes and then quickly realized my phone was going off. Senses returning to me, I reached into my pocket and answered my phone. “Hello?”

Sybil’s voice greeted me. “Hey John, it’s me.”

“Hey,” I replied.

“Who are you talking to?” asked mom.

“Sybil,” I answered honestly. Mom didn’t take her eyes away from the road, but I saw her form twitch, but she resisted turning towards me. “Probably just checking up on me.” I then turned my attention back to the phone call. “What’s up?”

“We’re just stopping to use a bathroom at a gas stop... for the third time,” Sybil moaned. “I swear these kids have never gone a trip before.”

“Eh, what can you do?” I replied, keeping my answers vague enough to not elicit attention.

“I guess. You at the hotel yet?” Sybil asked.

“I’m not...” My eyes went wide when I noticed that just a few miles in front of me were the only signs of civilization save for the road: a few houses and fast food joints that were dwarfed by a small collection of hotels that jutted out of the desert. Fort Stockton hadn’t changed much. “Geez, wish I had these meds when I traveled. I’ve been out for most of the ride and it looks like we’re just a few minutes away.”

“Are you okay now?” There was a bit of concern in Sybil’s voice now.

“Yeah, no problem,” I replied. “Just kinda amazed how far we’ve gotten already. I glanced over at the car’s clock and saw that it was close to one PM. “We’ll be checking into the hotel and then grabbing lunch nearby. There’s not too many options in this town.”

“Got it.” Sybil shuffled something around on the other end of the line. “This place has a Burger King built into it. I’ll just grab some stuff here.”

“Oh... ok—” My eyes went wide as dinner plates. “Sybil! Everything there is... is...” Dad was giving me an odd look. I took a breath and calmed myself. “Sybil, you’re still recovering from everything that happened. That could really upset you.”

“Oh...Oh,” Sybil said, realization upon her breath. “Look, every place we’ll go to on this trip will have that same issue. We were gonna have to face this issue eventually. Might as well get it done now.”

I pressed my cast against my head. “Okay, look, just wait until I’m at my hotel and then we’ll talk this out. Got it?”

“Yeah.” As soon as Sybil finished talking, I clicked off my phone.

“What was that about?” asked dad.

“Sybil’s just a little shaken up by everything,” I partially lied. “It... well, it’s kinda personal, so when we get to the hotel is it okay if I just go off and talk to her alone?”

“Oh yeah... sure,” mom mumbled.

Dad turned around and gave me the sympathetic look he usually reserved for our dogs. “Anything else you need?”

“No, I’m good. I might want walk a bit around the hotel later. I’m a little sore from being on a bed for two days.” I extended out my left knee and produced a crack to emphasize the point.

“Just don’t overexert yourself,” Dad cautioned.

I chuckled. “Well, you can at least unpack while I’m on the phone.”

~~~

As soon as we pulled into the hotel, I pushed myself out of the car and away from my parents. I stretched a little to get rid of the stiffness in my muscles and then pulled out my phone. I gave mom a confident look and a fake smile. “This won’t take long.”

She nodded in response while dad just moved to the trunk and started unloading suitcases. I walked past the parking lot and around the hotel until I came to the dinky little pool they had in the back. Save for an elderly couple who looked fast asleep, it was completely empty.

This’ll probably be the safest place. I pulled out my phone and called Sybil’s number. I didn’t even get past the first ring before she picked up. “Okay John, what do you want me to do?”

“Put me on speaker and hand me over to the girls.”

There was some shuffling on the other end of the line and the sound of the phone clanking against metal. Then, Apple Bloom’s voice came in from the other side. “Hi John. Can ya tell us why Ms. Sybil ain’t letting us get food?”

“Yeah, we’re hungry,” Scootaloo complained.

I sighed and braced myself for the conversation. “Well, first off, how’s the car ride going?”

“It’s really fun,” Sweetie happily replied. “I’ve never gone on a big trip before. This whole place is really big!”

“Way bigger than I thought anything could ever be,” Scootaloo commented.

“And you’re not bored?” I asked.

“Nuh-uh,” said Apple Bloom, no doubt shaking her head back and forth. “That story about the big fuzzy neighbor critter was really fun. Oh hey, we should show that to Fluttershy. I’m sure she’d love it.”

That produced a few chuckles out of me. “I think she’d like any Miyazaki movie.” Well, except Mononoke... that might traumatize her. “Everything else going okay?”

Scootaloo came to the forefront of the conversation with an excited tone. “Yeah, after we finished that story, Ms. Sybil put on some awesome music with this weird box thing.”

“Ipod,” I corrected.

“But it doesn’t look like a pea pod at all,” said Sweetie, her voice holding notes of confusion.

“Don’t worry about it, just think of it as a...” I scratched the back of my head with my cast to try and figure out how to describe it. “Like a record holder.”

Apple Bloom’s voice returned in awe. “But we musta listened to a whole bunch of records! How does that tiny thing hold that much stuff?”

“It’s not like there are actual records,” Sybil answered. “It’s all electronic.”

“This whole place is crazy,” Scootaloo sighed. “Anyway, can we eat something now. Please?”

Okay, Sybil was right, this was gonna happen eventually. I just need to explain and I’m sure they’ll understand. “Girls, there’s something you need to know about humans.”

“What is it?” asked Sweetie.

I took a deep nervous breath. “Aside from how we look, there’s a major difference between humans and ponies. We... we’re omnivores.”

“Omni-what?” asked Scootaloo.

“You probably haven’t noticed but look at each other’s teeth.” I paused a moment to let them do just that. “See the sharper teeth?”

“Whoa,” said Scootaloo. “Are... are those fangs?”

I flinched a little at Scootaloo catching onto where I was going a little early. “No... they’re called canines. See, human teeth are designed to eat both plants and... other things.”

“W-what sorts of other things?” Sweetie quivered.

“Like ice cream?” Apple Bloom nervously asked.

I took some more breaths and felt my heart rate getting faster.“Okay girls, I just want you to promise not to scream, can you do that?”

“Y-yeah,” they all slowly replied.

“Okay, well... humans kinda like to eat meat.” I pulled my phone away from my head expecting screams, but only got gasps. That wasn’t much of an improvement.

“S-so you’re kinda like Princess Luna when she was Nightmare Moon?” Sweetie quivered.

“What? No,” I hastily replied. “It’s just that’s how humans are.”

“But how can you eat other animals?” Scootaloo demanded.

“Humans have always done it,” I tried to explain. “Look, I’m not asking you to eat it. I just don’t want you to be shocked by it is all.”

There was a moment of silence between us before Apple Bloom spoke up. “Is that why ya jumped onto our dinner a few nights ago?”

I shuddered at the memory of getting covered in food and then kicked out of the restaurant. “Yeah, I probably should’ve just told you then.”

“So you got kicked out and messy just so we wouldn’t eat animals?” asked Scootaloo.

“Yes,” I sighed.

This produced a fit of giggling on the other end of the line. “That is pretty silly,” said Sweetie through her laughter. She then paused for a moment and sniffled a little. “It reminds me a little of this time my sister got really dirty just so I wouldn’t be mad at her anymore.”

Apple Bloom’s voice entered the call, but it wasn’t directed at the phone. “Sweetie, it’s okay. Although you’re right, it reminds me of ma sister rastlin pigs...” She turned her attention back to the phone. “Ya don’t eat pigs do ya? I mean, ya just use ‘em for finding truffles, right?”

I scratched my head with my cast again. “Well, we do use them for that too, but some people do eat them.”

“Okay,” Apple Bloom replied less energetically. “I just want to know one thing then. Ya... ya don’t eat ponies, do ya?”

I smiled at such a simple question. “Nope. I don’t and I don’t think anyone does.”

All the girls exhaled deeply in relief. “I guess that makes it a little better.”

“Now that I think about it, it’s not that bad,” said Sweetie. “I mean, Fluttershy takes care of all sort of animals like that. I think I’ve even seen Opal eat a few mice.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” droned Scootaloo. “Your cat is crazy.”

“Hey!” Sweetie shouted back. “She’s nice... I think... I mean, Rarity likes her.” Sweetie paused for a moment. “Yeah, I don’t like her either.”

The other Crusaders chuckled at this. I smiled too, glad that I hadn’t traumatized them. “So that’s the deal. On the road, you’re gonna see people eating meat, mostly things called burgers. You don’t have to eat it and I’ll try not to eat it in front of you either. I’m not holding Sybil to anything though.”

“I think I can go a few more days without a proper meal,” replied Sybil.

I shifted my left shoulder around since it was getting a little sore. “Heh, okay, well glad that all got cleared up. I’m gonna go grab some lunch with my parents. They’re being a bit clingy.”

“Well ya were in the hospital,” Apple Bloom postulated. “I’d be really sad if ma family wasn’t worried about me and I was hurt.”

“Same here,” said Sweetie.

“Yup,” exclaimed Scootaloo.

I shrugged. “Alright alright, thanks girls. Ya’ll have a good lunch. Sybil, we’ll be at the Holiday Inn here if you need me for anything. I’ll give you a call later so we can all meet up and maybe grab an early dinner somewhere.”

“Okay, see ya then,” Sybil replied.

“Bye John,” said all the Crusaders.

I shoved my phone back into my pocket, looked up at the sky, and let out the stress I’d been holding in. My shoulders slumped and I sighed, “That could have been much worse.” Geez, wonder how Doug handled telling Fluttershy.

Call complete, I made my way back to the front of the hotel. Mom was still waiting by the car, which was now a little less cluttered. “Is your friend okay?”

“Yeah, I told her everything was fine and that she could go see Jane if anything else came up.” Hmm, after lunch I should give her a call. “Dad already checked in?”

“Yeah, he’s just unloading upstairs.” Mom flashed me a grin. “We got a nice view.”

“Of what? The desert?” I playfully swatted my good arm around. “If we’re all unpacked lets get some lunch.”

~~~

Thank god they have an Ihop and not a Denny’s. I rubbed my stomach and looked over to the I-10, which extended off into the horizon. Then I turned my attention back to walking to the hotel and my parents. “Pretty good for an Ihop.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get you some proper food when we’re back home,” said mom.

“Yeah, may not be too bad, but it’s not the healthiest stuff around.” I stopped before the automatic doors to the hotel could open. “I think I’ll take that walk now.”

“Do you want us t—”

“No,” I cut her off mid-sentence. “Hovering over my shoulder isn’t helping anyone. It’s annoying me and stressing you out. We just need some alone time, okay?”

They were both silent for a moment before dad spoke up. “Don’t wander too far or be gone too long.”

“Thank you,” I replied before turning around. I slumped my shoulders for effect and didn’t look back. “I just need some time by myself.” I didn’t need to fake sounding disgusted with myself.

“Stay safe,” mom murmured.

I raised up my good hand and waved at them. “I will be. Not that much out here that can hurt me.”

~~~

“This place reminds me of Appleloosa,” said Apple Bloom.

I raised an eyebrow at this. “Wait, you went?”

Apple Bloom pouted and crossed her arms. “Na, I’ve just seen pictures. I really wanna see Cousin Braeburn again. He always pulled off these really neat tricks... I hope he’s okay.”

All of us were sitting at a small collection of benches that were pretty much in the middle of nowhere. It was just the benches, the road, and a small brittle tree. I looked out to the road for a second before looking back at Apple Bloom. “I’m sure he’s fine. You’ve made it this far after all.”

“I guess,” she replied.

“So what do we do now?” asked Scootaloo. “This place seems kinda boring.”

“It is,” I droned. “We’ve just go to stay here for the night. I’d offer my room, but my parents’ room is connected to it. No matter what, five people in a room would draw attention.”

“It’s fine,” Sybil sighed. “We looked around while you were finishing up your lunch and found a cheap place to stay.”

“Okay, good,” I replied. “Sorry girls, there’s not much to do in this town, so today is gonna be a little slow.” An idea then struck me. “How about we give Jane a call?”

“Sure,” Sweetie beamed. “She said she had to go up to an Austin. What is that anyway?”

I chuckled a little. “A city.”

“Weird name for a city,” said Scootaloo.

“Would you prefer ‘Humanville’?” I joked.

“Where’s that?” asked Apple Bloom. “It sounds neat place.” That made me chuckle even more. “What’s so funny?”

I waved my good hand in front of her. “Nothing, nothing.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. “But lets get going on calling her. At the very least it’ll kill a little time.”

I swept over to Jane’s number and switched the phone to speaker mode while it was ringing. After a couple of rings, Jane picked up. “John? What’s up?”

“Eh, nothing much, we ju—”

“Hi Ms. Jane!” All the Crusaders shouted, causing both me and Sybil to nearly lose our balance.

“Ya’ll really need to work on your volumes,” Sybil grumbled.

“Sorry,” Sweetie sheepishly replied. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo looked apologetic as well but said nothing.

“Um...” Jane paused for a moment. “Well, good to see the Crusaders in higher spirits again.”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “They’re taking the car ride pretty well.” I looked over to them. “Right?”

“Uh-huh!” They all happily replied.

“Good to hear...” Jane’s voice seemed to slump. “Glad ya’ll at least got out.”

I eyed my phone and bent a little closer to it. “What do you mean?”

Jane gave a very audible sigh on the other side of the line. “On top of all the stuff at our school, Austin’s now a mess too. Something about a kidnapping.”

“It wasn’t Discord was it?” Apple Bloom shuddered

“No,” Jane replied. “Just a regular guy apparently. They blocked off a ton of streets and my parents are keeping me in lockdown.”

“Bummer,” said Sybil.

My phone then started vibrating around the table I’d placed it on. Dad’s number was emblazoned over Jane’s call. I reached forward, tapped of the speaker function off, and brought it up to my ear. “Sorry Jane, gotta go. My parents are calling.”

“Okay, stay safe.”

With that, I moved my phone over to the front of my face, clicked around, and brought it back to my ear again. “Yes?”

Dad’s voice came through the phone. “So we just heard about this thing in Austin an—”

“Yes,” I droned, “Jane was telling me about it before you called.” I heaved my shoulders forward and slumped my posture. “I’m sure the crazy man will drive all the way out here just to get me.”

“Now John, we’re ju—”

“I know. You’re ‘just worried about my safety.’ Don’t worry, I’m already on my way back. See ya at the hotel.” Before dad could respond, my thumb swiftly ended the call. After I put my phone away, I looked back on the Crusaders and Sybil. “Well, looks like my parents are gonna be even more paranoid now. Best be heading back. Sybil, I’ll call you when we’re heading out tomorrow.”

Sybil nodded. “Got it.”

My focus then went to the Crusaders. “Girls, we’ve got one more day of driving ahead, so get some rest tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll get you settled in at my place.”

“Okay!” They all replied.

I gave them a friendly wave and then turned around. Despite the warmth of the desert, I shuddered at the thought of my parents being even more worried. It was gonna be a long night.

Guests and Surprises

Guests and Surprises

April 21 Around 3:45 PM

Crack. Crack.

“Next time, can we make sure we never do that drive again?” I rolled my left shoulder and wobbled my right leg around, producing two more cracks. My head was still a little foggy from the painkillers so I scratched it to clear away a bit of the dizzyness.

“Of course,” mom said as she unloaded a suitcase from the back of the car. Dad was next to her, helping her unload. That left me standing around my house’s garage. More importantly, it let me slip around and make sure the guest house didn’t look too dirty from the outside.

It looked the same as the rest of my house did: white with red roof tiles. Perfect for baking in the Arizona sun. A shame I couldn’t get a better look inside the guest house with its tiny high up windows. Then again, that meant no one could look inside it either.

To my left, dad was already moving to the garage door. I followed along with mom and waited by the door while dad fumbled with his keys. To my surprise, there was a lack of familiar scratching at the door. “Where are the dogs?”

“The vet,” mom explained. “We told them about what happened and they let the dogs stay like they normally do when we go on a trip. I actually called the vet in the car but you were probably asleep. I’ll need to pick them up along with your sister.”

“What about the car?” I asked as I eyed the rental.

Mom bit her lip and looked at me with unnerved eyes. “Well... we already spent a fortune on driving it here and renting the first thing we saw, so your father needs to drive it back and I’ll have to pick him up too after I get your sister and the dogs. We’ve also got to pick up my car at the airport.”

Dad stopped fumbling with his keys and marched over to stand between us. “We don’t have to do this all today. John...”

“Would like some alone time,” I interrupted. “I really just want to relax by myself and this is a good time for that.” A good time to get the Crusaders settled too.

Mom raised up a hand to tenderly grasp my left shoulder. “John, are you...”

“Yes,” I replied, moving her hand away before it made contact. “No offense, but I’ve been cooped up in the car with you two worrying that my earbuds were gonna strangle me.”

Mom’s eyes went down to the ground. “O-okay. Is... is there anything else?”

My shoulders slumped a little, heavy with the weight of manipulating my parents. I reached into my pocket, pulled out a slightly crumpled piece of paper, unfurled it, and handed it to mom. “Since I’m here, I thought we might as well stock up on food.”

Mom’s eyes went over the list and then over it again. Her head turned up and her attention went back to me. “It’s a bit much, but I think I can get all that. Do you want any meat? I can make you corned beef or anything else that you want.”

I mulled the thought around for a second. I had already crossed the line of playing with my parent’s emotions and mom’s corned beef was definitely worth a broken arm and rib. “Yes, I think that’d be nice.” At least the girls will like the leftover potatoes and cabbages.

By now, dad had unlocked the door and made his way inside the house. It had the same smell and look as it always did: beige walls and tiled floors all around. The clear plastic teakettle filled with a thick black liquid sitting on the kitchen table was an indication of what mom and dad had been doing before they left. I shuddered, hoping nothing else had been left out to rot. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom, okay?”

“That sounds like a good idea,” dad said before putting down his suitcase and making way for his own bathroom.

I passed through the kitchen, noting that I’d need to check the pantry and fridge while my parents were out, and into the long hall that led to my and my sister’s rooms and my bathroom. Once inside my bathroom, I ignored the toilet and instead pulled out my phone. A few clicks and the line was ringing. Sybil quickly picked up. “What’s the situation?”

“We’re unpacking right now, then we’ve got a good space of time to move in. I got food provisioned too. I’ll call you again when the coast is clear. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really do have to use the bathroom.”

~~~

“Please don’t make us drive again,” Scootaloo complained. She had a hand on my mailbox and looked like she would collapse without it there. Sweetie and Apple Bloom didn’t look much better with their shaky legs. Their hair was unkempt and soreness seemed to radiate off them. I couldn’t really blame them though, the I-10 is a very long and very boring drive.

“Don’t worry,” I replied. “We shouldn’t have to do any more driving for a bit.” Until Doug’s tickets get here... then we’ll have planes to deal with.

Apple Bloom was having an easier time steadying herself, cracking her joints and quickly regaining her balance. While she playfully experimented with cracking her fingers, she asked, “Why don’t ya’ll use trains?”

“We used to,” Sybil explained while she hefted a suitcase out from the back of her car. She pulled up its handle and brought it over to me and the girls. “Too slow and too expensive for long trips these days.”

“At least you can walk around on them,” Scootaloo commented.

Sybil didn’t respond to her and instead put her attention on me. “You’re sure you can handle this?”

I casually waved my left arm at her. “This has got to be easier than what we were dealing with in the dorms. They’ve got their own room, food, and water. Plus, no one ever goes to the guest house unless my aunt and uncle are visiting, and they’re not coming back ‘till next February. You, on the other hand, should get back home. I’m really sorry for what your parents are gonna say and do to you for this.”

Sybil gave me an uncaring shrug. “Eh, can’t be worse than when I dented my dad’s truck. I could always tell them the truth and get sent to a psych ward... it might actually be easier that way. I’d best be off then.”

We all watched as Sybil closed the back of her car and then climbed into the driver’s seat. She started the engine and pulled down the passenger seat’s window. “Oh yeah, John, Jane and I gave the girls what clothes could fit them, but you might want to get them some proper ones too.”

“No problem, you have have a safe trip.” I raised up my left arm and gave her a friendly wave goodbye.

The Crusaders followed my lead, but used both their arms. They flapped them wildly in the air while Sybil’s car grew smaller and smaller and disappeared when she turned a corner. Then it was just me and the Crusaders.

I reached out and grabbed their suitcase. “Lets get you settled in.”

The suitcase clinked across my driveway as we made our way to the guest house. We stopped at the door and I fumbled around my pockets for the key I’d filched from the rack in the house. The door opened up into the dim main area of the guest house.

I flicked the light switch by the door to brighten up the house and was greeted by a musty scent that lingered in the air. The girls’ heads went left and right, taking in their temporary home. To our right were shelves upon shelves of books that reached nearly to the roof. To our left was a small stove, fridge, and cupboards. They were empty now, but I’d soon be rectifying that.

I grabbed Sweetie’s arm when she went out to touch the stove. “You have to promise me that you won’t touch that or the microwave...” I got blank stares at that. “The beeping thing Jane and Sybil used to make food.” My eyes traced over the other girls, making sure they understood. “Got it?”

They all nodded in agreement.

“Good.” I stalked over to the door by the mini-kitchen and opened it to reveal the bathroom. I cringed a little asking the next question. “Did Jane and Sybil teach you how to use the shower?”

“Of course they did,” Apple Bloom said with a slight pout. She went into the bathroom and put her hand on the water knob. “I mean, it’s not that different fro—”

I’d apparently been wrong about Apple Bloom recovering the quickest of the Crusaders from the ride. One second, she was standing over the tub, and the next she was in it getting drenched with water. I quickly moved forward, shut off the water, and pulled her out of the tub.

She was dripping wet, but I grabbed a towel from the nearby rack and draped it over her. “Hmm, you’ve at least proved you know where to get the water from.”

Apple Bloom turned bright red. I heard Sweetie and Scootaloo snicker behind us and was thankful that the showerhead wasn’t detachable. If it was, we might have all gotten soaked by an enraged Apple Bloom.

A few minutes and one clothes change later, we were back in the main part of the guest house. I waved my hand at TV and showed them the remote, promising when I had time, I’d show them how to use it. I also made a mental note to add child locks to some of the channels. We then stopped at a large cabinet with smaller cabinets at its sides. “Aw crud.”

“What?” asked Sweetie.

“We gotta get the bed out. Girls, I’m gonna need your help on this.” I opened the big cabinet’s twin doors and was met with a wall of white and metal. “We need to slowly lower this.”

“Whoa, we get to sleep on a secret bed?” Scootaloo’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates and matched the other Crusaders’. They all happily placed their hands on the bed where I told them to and I grasped the built-in handle. With a tug, the bed started to move down. Even with the Crusader’s help, I still had to carry the brunt of the bed’s weight with just my left arm.

Luckily, the bed made it to the ground, but my side was on fire by the time we finished. I let go of the bed and went into a fit of coughing. The Crusaders crowded around me with trembling faces. “It’s fine,” I hacked, “just a little hard to use only one hand on the bed. Thanks...” Another round of coughing. “...for the help. Now lets get you some pillows and covers.”

I opened up the smaller cabinets and pulled out a plethora of pillows, sheets, and covers. With the Crusaders’ help, the bed was quickly made up. Setup done, I took a seat on the bed to catch my breath and clear away the last of my coughs. I then gave the girls a smile. “We’ve got some time, shall we explore the rest of my house? Get you some snacks?”

“Sure!” they all happily replied.

I led the Crusaders out of the guest house and over to the garage. We went through the garage door and stepped into the main part of my house. “We’ll get the snacks on the way out. For now, I’ll just show you around.”

I pointed down the hall to a closed door. “Parent’s room, thankfully the furthest away from the guest house.” I then turned right and led them through the regular dining area and the kitchen.

Apple Bloom’s eyes went over to the pantry, shifting in all directions. She looked up at me after a moment. “I don’t see any apples. Don’t tell me ya ain’t got apples.”

“In the fridge... probably. That or my dad bought some funky fruit from the Asian market. I’ll check on the way out. If there aren’t any, don’t worry, I asked my parents to pick some up.” I clasped my chin and thought over the food list. “Didn’t say what type though.”

“That’s okay.” Apple Bloom gave me a grin. “I’m just happy ya have some.”

I went to the left and entered the hall that led to my room. However, I stopped and gestured to my left at my family room. “To your left you’ll see entertainment central.”

You weren’t able to see the room from the garage entrance due to the wall separating it from the kitchen. The room consisted of a slightly dated TV, a large couch, a regular table, and a pool table. I then remembered the small white rectangle that was hooked up to my TV. “Hey Apple Bloom, Sybil let you play videogames, right?”

“Uh huh!” Apple Bloom shoved her hands up to my face. “It’s really hard though! Ya gotta use your fingers to make all these complimacated moves. Why would anyone think that was fun?”

I chuckled a little at that. “If ever a console was meant for ponies, it’s probably the Wii. I’ll bring that back also if we can carry it. Now onwards!”

With a bit of a dramatic step, I started walking down the hall, but as I turned toward my room, I noticed only two Crusaders had followed me. Sweetie was lingering near the family room, but her eyes were on another area of the house. She’d brought a hand up to her mouth and was shaking like a leaf.

I rushed over and bent down, already knowing what had gotten Sweetie upset. “Sweetie, it’s nothing. It’s just a room.”

“But... but...” she hiccupped.

“C’mon, it’s gonna be okay.” I stood up, put a hand on Sweetie’s back, and ushered her away from the guest dining room. I gave it a quick look; even without guests coming, the room did have an air of sophistication to it. The dining table was made of finely polished wood, atop it sat two eloquent candles, to the table’s left stood a cabinet containing the good china, and a nice looking chandelier hung above all of it. Thank god it’s not made of diamonds, bad enough for Sweetie as it is.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” Apple Bloom went over to her friend and laid her hands on Sweetie’s shoulders.

“I... I just m-miss Rarity,” Sweetie sighed.

Scootaloo moved over and all three of them shared a hug. I reached up to my room’s door handle and twisted it. The room had the same musty smell to it that the guest house did. A bare desk and empty blue walls greeted me. “I think some good movies are in order.”

I strode across the room over to the medium-sized bookcase that held everything I hadn’t taken to college. A whole shelf was filled with manga and anime, but my focus was on the highest shelf: my DVD collection.

Star Wars instantly went into my arms, but it got a little tougher after that. Animal House and Breakfast Club were definitely off the table. I struggled for a second with Weird Science, but decided it really wasn’t any worse than Ferris Bueller. Bill and Ted followed suit and I finished my collection with Iron Man. As I backed away, my attention went back to the anime shelf and I considered grabbing Spirited Away but decided it was too similar to what the Crusaders were dealing with though. I picked up Kiki’s Delivery Service instead.

“You and your family sure own a lot of books,” Sweetie commented. She and the other Crusaders were practically pressed up to the bookcase, staring at each book. I noticed they lingered on novels that had more intricate cover art.

“I’d let you take a look at those too if you could read English.” It did trouble me a bit that they couldn’t read even the simplest signs. If I had time, I’d need to teach them the alphabet too.

My final order of business in the room was opening up the the windows. From my windows, it was easy to see the guest house to the left. Once I was sure the girls saw the house’s position, I faced them. “If there’s an emergency, just come out and tap on my window, okay?”

“Yup!” they all replied.

Room tour done, I placed the movies between my arm and side and led the girls out of my room. I was already going down the hall when Apple Bloom spoke up. “Hey, where’s this door go?”

The color drained from my face when I saw that Apple Bloom already had a grip on my sister’s door knob. Sweetie and Scootaloo were looking at the door with curious expressions. “Girls! Get away from there.”

Apple Bloom recoiled from the door like the metal had turned scalding. She nearly tripped up the other Crusaders and they all had to flail against the walls to avoid falling down. The scurried back over to me but Apple Bloom had a curious look on her face again. “What’s in there?”

“Nothing... right now,” I sighed. “If you disturbed anything in there though, my sister would have my head on a stick.”

“You have a sister too?” Sweetie and Apple Bloom asked at the same time.

I awkwardly scratched my head. “Yeah. She very... sensitive about her privacy.” Try insane.

“Oh,” Sweetie mumbled, her head drooping a little. I should have just said the room was a closet.

“Anyway, the ride must have tired you out, you need some good food.” I quickly spun around and went down to the kitchen and into the pantry. It was a bit tight with four, but we managed to fit. “My mom’s gonna get everything I could have thought you wanted, but we’ve got stuff here too.”

I reached up and grabbed a brown bag, its contents rustling as I did. I hung it in front of the girls’ faces. “Pretzels?”

Scootaloo peered over the bag and looked inside it. She drew out a tiny stick of bread covered in salt and scrutinized it. “Uh, how is this a pretzel?”

“Yeah, pretzels are supposed to be big, fluffy, and warm.” Apple Bloom moved her arms around in a pretzel twist to illustrate her argument.

“Hmm, guess they don’t have hard pretzels on Equestria?” I pondered aloud while I continued scanning the shelves. My eyes went to the shelf my dad kept his health foods on. I got a devious grin as I carefully reached up and grabbed another bag. “Bet they don’t have these in Equestria either.”

Apple Bloom took the bag and reached in. She pulled out a handful of dry flaky leaf-like things. “What is it?”

“Kale chips, my dads nuts about them.” I decided some tortilla chips wouldn’t hurt either. I did wish I’d put guacamole on my food list though.

While I got the chips, Apple Bloom spoke up. “Your dad must make a lot money to afford kale. I’ve only had it at the big party we had when Princess Luna came back.” She proceeded to pop a few chips in her mouth and her friends did the same.

“Kinda salty,” Sweetie commented.

“Yeah, most pantry food is like that. The fridge will have some better stuff in it.” I ushered the girls out of the pantry and over to the fridge. I handed the tortilla chips over to Scootaloo, the DVDs to Sweetie, and scanned the fridge with a finger. My attention quickly went down to the vegetable and fruit drawers since I didn’t feel comfortable having the girls carrying glass jars.

I opened the door, smiled at my findings, reached in, and pulled out a medium sized red apple. . Apple Bloom took the fruit with both her hands when I held it out ot her. “That what you were looking for?”

“Yeah...” Apple Bloom softly replied. She cradled the apple in arms and held it close to her chest.

“Apple Bloom...” The gears were turning in my head as soon as I saw her reaction. “What type of apple is that?”

“Macintosh,” she whispered.

No one spoke after that. I took a few more apples and some pears from the fridge and shut it. Apple Bloom’s gaze was still fixed on the apple. Sweetie didn’t look much better with her melancholic eyes. Only Scootaloo seemed okay, though she kept looking back and forth between her friends. “I know things are rough now, but they are looking up. We’ve already found Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Celestia.”

“I guess,” Apple Bloom sighed.

“Hey, I know what will cheer you up.” I squatted down again and looked Apple Bloom right in the eyes. “When my parents get back, they’re gonna have something I’m sure will cheer you up.”

Apple Bloom’s expression brightened up a little and a curious glimmer returned to her eyes. “What?”

“Now that is a secret,” I said with a small grin. “You’ll all like it though, I promise.”

We made our way back to the guest house and unloaded everything we’d gathered from the main house. The girls had whispered the entire time about what the thing was that my parents were bringing back. I mentally assured myself that nothing save for their families would make them happier.

We loaded up the fridge with the fruits and partially filled a shelf with the pantry goods. I was about to explain the DVD player to the girls when my phone rang. I answered it and gave a gruff “okay” when mom said she’d be home in about five minutes. I put the phone away and stared down at the girls. “Alright, I’ve got to go now, but I’ll be back soon. Remember, don’t come out for anything unless its an emergency.”

“Uh-huh,” said Scootaloo, “but what about the surprise?”

“I’ve got a plan.” I flashed them a smile and shut the door behind me. I went back into the main house, closing the garage so that nothing looked like it’d changed since my parents had left.

A few minutes later, the garage opened once more and the hum of my parents’ cars filled the air. I heard mom getting a handle on something and got up out of the couch where I’d been waiting. I heard scratching at the door and opened it up.

My dogs were upon me in an instant. Their black tails lashed out and whipped through the air while they clawed at my legs with equally black paws. I stooped down and ran my hand through their fur. “Hey guys, I missed you too.”

I got a flurry of licking that smudged up my glasses in response. I gave them rubs on the head and scratched their bellies. They ran around me, taking any chance to pounce up and lick me again. “Kloe, Oxford! Geez, it hasn’t been that long!”

“They were just worried about you,” mom commented while she scooched past us carrying multiple grocery bags. “I’ll need to take them out after we unload everything.”

I looked down and saw that both Kloe and Oxford still had their leashes on. That was lucky since I wasn’t in the mood to deal with Oxford snapping at me. I clasped his green leash and Kloe’s pink one and got back up. “Why don’t I take them for a walk while you’re unloading?”

“Oh...” Mom put the groceries down by the fridge and stared at the ground for a moment before speaking again. “I suppose... maybe you should take your sister with you.”

“No,” came a voice behind me. I turned around and was met with Rachel glaring at me. And I haven’t even said anything to her yet. “I already had to move enough stuff around for John. I just want to have my own room back.”

“Lovely to see you too, Rachel,” I droned.

Rachel glanced down at my cast and then back at my face. “Sorry about your arm.”

She trudged off to her room while I stared and contemplated what had just happened. “Did... did she just say sorry?”

“I think so.” In my confusion, dad had snuck up on me with more groceries. Oxford got on his hind legs and scratched at dad’s leg. He gave the small cockapoo a friendly rub on the head. “I also heard this talk about the walk. It’ll be good for the dogs, and your mother and I are tired from all this driving.”

If mom had any objections, she didn’t say them and instead went back to the cars to get more groceries. I tugged at the dogs leashes and followed after her. As I passed her on the way out of the garage, I said, “It’s fine, I won’t go far.”

I was very truthful about that. I left the garage and headed down the driveway. However, my dogs nearly made me fall over when they darted over to the guest house. Oxford gave a few harsh barks while Kloe made her odd noises that could only be called guttural in a cute way. I suppose that’s what you get for breeding a shih tzu and a poodle.

I yanked them back and hastily walked away from the guest house. Both Kloe and Oxford still pulled at the leashes though. “Just wait a few minutes,” I cursed.

With a little effort, I got the dogs away from the house and onto the street. True to my word, I took the dogs around the the block and let them do their business on a empty lot. I then made my way back to my house, checking to make sure that the coast was clear.

When I was sure everyone had gone inside, I went over to the guest house. The dogs were tugging at the leashes again and scratched at the door when we got to it. I looped the leashes’ handles up my arm and used my now free hand to twist the knob. What followed could only be described as the perfect storm of chaotic cuteness.

Oxford flew off my arm, giving me a few rope burns in the process. He raced forward and tackled Sweetie to the ground. Kloe followed suit and went for Scootaloo. Whereas Oxford had knocked Sweetie off her feet, Kloe only managed to paw at Scootaloo’s chest.

“Puppies!” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom shouted. Sweetie could only laugh while Oxford licked her face. Kloe rolled onto her belly and let Apple Bloom and Scootaloo rub it. I went over and got Oxford off Sweetie and he went onto his back as well.

“He’s so friendly!” Sweetie beamed before giving him a nice rub on the stomach.

“Yeah, best dogs I’ve ever had. Knew they’d like you.” I gave Oxford another rub and then went over to Kloe’s group. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were on their knees letting Kloe jump up and lick their faces while they petted her. “Having fu—”

Oxford interrupted me by rushing over and vying with Kloe for the girls’ affection. Kloe simply slinked over to Sweetie and gave her the same treatment she’d given Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. While Apple Bloom scratched Oxford’s ears, she looked up at me. “What are their names?”

“The one trying to lick off your face is Oxford...” I peered over my shoulder. Sweetie had managed to somehow calm Kloe down enough to cuddle her. “... and the one with Sweetie is Kloe.”

“Why’d ya call ‘em that?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, Oxford’s also the name of this really fancy school, so my dad decided to go with that and my sister named Kloe... I still don’t know why she went with a ‘K’ though.”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “A what?”

“A K, it’s part of the English alphabet,” I explained. “It’s what we use in words like knife or kick.”

“Oh.” Sweetie’s eyes lit up with understanding. “You mean pa...” I, my dogs, and the other Crusaders stared at Sweetie in confusion as she wheezed out her mouth, scrunched up her lips, and twisted her head. She stopped whatever she was doing when her face started to turn red.

“Are you okay?” I asked with a twinge of concern in my voice.

Sweetie rubbed her throat. “Yeah, but I can’t say the letter you were talking about.”

“Hmm...” I mulled the strange sound around in my head and a vision of a horse’s head appeared to me. “The way ponies talk and pronounce some things might be different from humans.”

Before we could go more into pony linguistics, my phone rang. “That’s my signal to head back. Parents have probably thought I’ve been out too long.” I reached out, clasped Oxford and Kloe’s leashes, and got off the ground. “I can bring these guys back whenever you want. I’ll be back later with dinner. Just tap on my window if you need anything.”

“Okay, thanks John!” they all replied with ecstatic voices.

I was very glad to see the Crusaders in such high spirits after everything that had happened. After a wave of my cast, I closed the door. Outside, I picked up my phone a few steps away from the guest house. “Yes mom... in the driveway right now... yes, I think the dogs had a fun time.”

~~~

I was thankful that I’d convinced mom to make spaghetti with marinara instead of tuna casserole. The Crusaders had probably seen meat on the drive over, but I wasn’t about to start serving them any. I’d made sure to only have one plate so that there was plenty of leftovers.

After dinner, I’d slunked back to my room and gone online. No new emails had come in and after a day of driving I was too tired to try and look for other ponies. The painkillers didn’t help much either.

I soon gave up on my computer and pulled out a One Piece volume from my bookcase. I plopped myself down on my bed and started to read.

A rapping at my window woke me up. Crap! Dinner!

A shot of pain to run through my right side when I bolted up from my bed. I grunted and lumbered over to the window. Scootaloo’s panicked face greeted me on the other side of the glass. The way she threw her arms around and tried to talk through the glass sent my heart racing.

I was out of my room in an instant and speeding down the the hallway. With all the lights out, making my way down the hall was difficult without falling. At least the darkness meant my parents were asleep. I rushed through the side door that led to the patio, glad I still had the wits to use the patio door and not the garage’s. A cool night’s air washed over me as I rushed over to the guest house, praying that I could handle whatever was wrong.

Author's Note

CMC having fun with pets? Dear Celestia do I love coincidences! Hahaha!

Sorry for the wait.

Everything is Alright

Everything was a blur. I was outside my house one second, the next I was in the guest house with Scootaloo tugging at my side and rambling in hysterics. My eyes went in all directions looking for Apple Bloom and Sweetie, but the smell quickly put an end to that.

I wrinkled my nose at it. Being in college it was a smell I was familiar with: the smell of someone who was sick. I lunged forward and into the bathroom. Apple Bloom was trembling by the door. “J-john, I...”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” I think I’d been saying the same thing to Scootaloo as I’d rushed over to the guest house. The painkillers and the adrenaline mixture was screwing everything up. My eyes pulsed with every heartbeat and I had to place my cast on the door to steady myself.

I gritted my teeth and pushed my fear to the source of it: Sweetie. She was scrunched up on the ground in the fetal position shaking even worse than Apple Bloom. I took slow tender steps over to her. The smell coming from the toilet made me almost gag as well, so while I knelt down I reached over and clumsily flushed the mess down with my cast.

“Sweetie.” I gently laid a hand her shoulder, remembering how mom had done the same when I’d been little and sick with god-knows-what. “It’s okay, you’re good now. All the bad stuff is gone.”

Sweetie gave a sob in response. She brought her knees closer to her face and cried into them. “Rarity... R-rarity... help...”

“Damn it!” I cursed. I abruptly stood up and ran for the door. As I did, I yelled to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, “Stay close to her!”

I barged back into my house, fear of getting caught and panic over Sweetie becoming a chaotic concoction in my head. I was at least was clear-minded enough to know where the pepto was and snatched it up. Medicine acquired, saltines and gatorade were next. I found them in the pantry and took them too.

I was back in the guest house in an instant. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were on their knees by Sweetie’s side, running their hands up and down her back to try and help her. “Thank you girls,” I gasped.

A jab of pain went through my chest when the Scootaloo and Apple Bloom scooted to my sides and I knelt down by Sweetie. I ignored it and carefully placed the pepto on the ground while the saltines and gatorade fell by legs. I unscrewed the cap and poured out the amount marked by a line on the cap. I once more placed a hand on Sweetie. “Sweetie, I need you to drink this.”

“N-no, no,” she moaned, “p-please, don’t m-make m-m-m...”

“It’s medicine,” I explained between ragged breaths. “Please! You’ll feel better! I promise!”

I lurched forward and shifted my hand from Sweetie’s right shoulder and slowly, very slowly, raised her up. She only gave a whimper in response and doubled up her shivering. I kept my eyes on Sweetie, but spoke to the Crusaders behind me. “Apple Bloom! Scootaloo! One of you help Sweetie drink the medicine while I hold her up!”

Apple Bloom answered my call first. Her hands shook while they guided the cap of pepto to Sweetie’s mouth.

“No,” Sweetie moaned again, her head swaying back and forth while she spoke.

“P-please Sweetie!” Apple Bloom begged. “Ya... ya gotta drink this!

Sweetie produced a sound at that, much more delicate than even a whimper. It sounded like something a wounded animal would make. I grasped her shoulder a little tighter to try and reduce her shivering while Apple Bloom brought the cap to Sweetie’s lips. She shook the entire time she drank it.

Apple Bloom let the cap drop when it was empty and Sweetie had swallowed. She extended out her arms and gave Sweetie a hug, franticly muttering, “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“Yes.” I gave Sweetie a reassuring rub on the arm. “It’s okay.”

Sweetie’s shaking died down and she simply remained silent save for a occasional whimper. Scootaloo moved over and hugged Sweetie just as Apple Bloom had done. She looked up at me but her eyes kept drifting back to Sweetie. “Is she gonna get better?”

The silence and calmness had cooled my mind off. My heart beat wasn’t beating on my eardrums and my head was clear. “Getting sick always freaked me out as a kid too. She probably just some food poisoning from the road. The pepto will make her better. ”

“I guess having a sister like Rarity would just make it worse,” Apple Bloom whispered.

A sob escaped out of Sweetie and threw Apple Bloom into a panic. She pushed her face closer to her friend’s with a look of absolute desperation on it. “I... I’m sorry Sweetie! I didn’t mean it! I was ju—”

“No,” Sweetie choked out the words, “i-it’s just... remember that time we tried to g-get our cutie m-marks in pie eating?”

Scootaloo’s complexion paled a little. “Don’t remind me, I’ll be the sick one then.”

“W-well...” Sweetie’s arms brushed against the ground as she brought them up to her chest and crossed them. “Rarity, she... she did the same thing when I galloped to the b-bathroom. I was so scared and s-she...”

Sweetie swung around and threw her head into Apple Bloom’s chest. Her body was racked with crying. We all got closer and gave her a hug. By the end of her breakdown, Sweetie’s face was a mess: her eyes were red pillows, her nose was a mess of snot, and her face was as red as a tomato.

I moved my hand away from her side and up to her head to give her hair a tussle. “I think you needed that.”

“Y-yeah,” she sniffled.

“Is your stomach feeling better?” I dared to ask.

Sweetie brought her right hand down to her stomach and lightly touched it. “I... I think.”

“Lets get you to bed then.” I stood up and nearly fell down again when my side burst into flame again. My left hand clasped at my ribs while my cast pushed against the wall. “Er!”

“John!” all the girls cried.

“It’s fine!” I said through clenched teeth. My cast dragged against the wall as I lugged myself out of the bathroom and over to where I’d left the Gatorade and saltines. “Girls! Help Sweetie over to the bed.”

“Wait!” Scootaloo rushed to my side. “What is it? We can get it!”

“Get...” I huffed and extended a shaking finger at the bottle and stack of crackers. “Get those for Sweetie. It’ll help her if she gets hungry.”

While Scootaloo grabbed the two items, I twisted to my left and put my good arm on the wall, pushed against it to stay balanced as I made my way over to the bed. While I shuffled, in the corner of my eye, I noticed Apple Bloom had Sweetie propped up with an arm over her shoulder. “T-thank you, Apple Bloom,” I wheezed.

“Y-yeah,” she stuttered.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie made it to bed first. With one last heave, I joined them with a soft fump. Luckily, I didn’t fall on either of them. The pain slowly went out of my side as I laid on the bed. After taking a few breaths, I managed to turn my head to the left to see Apple Bloom looking down on me and Sweetie turning her own head to check on me. They both looked like they were watching a sick animal.

“Are.... are ya okay?” Apple Bloom quivered.

“Yeah,” I replied with a slightly strained voice, “I was just in a bad position for too long.” My eyes then went over to Sweetie. “Your stomach still feeling okay?”

“Y-yes,” Sweetie muttered. “I... I’m sorry. You got hurt becau—”

“Heh.” I managed to wring out a smile onto my face. “People get hurt and sick all the time. You’ve gotten scraped up plenty of times going crusading, right?”

Scootaloo arrived at the bed and set the Gatorade and saltines over by Sweetie. “I’ll say.” She flashed the other girls a regretful look. “Like that time we tried to get honey-making cutie marks?”

Apple Bloom reflexively moved her left hand up and down her right arm. “I still think I got stingers on me from it.”

“We didn’t even get any honey,” Sweetie mumbled. She then slowly extended her hand out to the saltines and tentatively grabbed one of the small squares. She brought it back over to her face, but paused before opening her mouth. “M-maybe I shouldn’t...”

“You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to.” I flicked my wrist up and pointed to the bottle of Gatorade. “Take small sips of that though. It’ll make you feel better.”

“Okay...” Sweetie set the cracker back down in the stack and clasped the clear green bottle. Her fingers plucked at the cap a few times before she finally managed to unscrew it. I was glad I’d grabbed one of the sports bottles with a twisty-cap, otherwise Gatorade might have gone all over the bed. She slowly raised the bottle to her lips and took a very small drink. “It’s sweet.”

“But it helps.” I took a small breath and thought back to my own childhood again. “Parents would always give me that whenever I was sick too.”

Two simultaneous gurgles then echoed from nearby. My eyes went around the room looking for the source and fell on Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. “Shoot, I forgot about dinner.”

“I’m not hungry,” Apple Bloom curtly explained. “Not aft—” Her stomach gurgled again. “Shut up ya stupid tummy!”

“Stomachs can’t lie,” I chuckled. I slid my left hand over to my right side and gingerly poked my ribs. I didn’t feel a stab like before which was enough to get me to suck it up and sit back up. “Okay, lets get you and Scootaloo some food then.”

I hefted myself off the bed, while the girls nervously watched. When I was on my feet, I looked over to Apple Bloom and Sweetie. “Apple Bloom, you stay here and watch over Sweetie. Scootaloo, I need you to help me grab your dinner.”

Scootaloo dared venture a small smile. “Okay.”

Taking careful steps, I led Scootaloo out of the guest house and over to the patio door. Before I opened the door, I turned back to look at her. “Be very quiet when we get inside. Probably already spooked my dogs running around earlier. So remember, very quiet.”

“Uh-huh,” Scootaloo whispered. Her grin disquieted me a little though; plus numerous flashbacks to Stare Master.

I opened the door and winced a little when its hinges creaked louder than I remembered. I paused when the door was half-open and listened for the sound of anyone waking, but heard nothing. I fully pushed the door open and Scootaloo and I made our way inside.

We tiptoed past the kitchen table and over to the fridge. I pulled open the fridge door and tried to locate the bowl of spaghetti leftovers. After a few quick seconds of searching, I found it. Unfortunately, it had somehow been precariously placed next to two glass jars that were off-balance due to the bowl pushing on them.

“Okay Scootaloo, listen very carefully.” I gestured back and forth to the two jars. “Grab those two jars.” I then moved my hand over to the counter that connected to the fridge and looped around the kitchen to link to the dishwasher, sink, and stove. I specifically pointed to the part of the counter right by the fridge. “Then put them up there. Can you do that?”

Scootaloo smiled and nodded in approval. She grabbed the jars and easily placed them on the edge. To my surprise, they didn’t fall and neither did anything in the fridge. Scootaloo made her way back over to me and shoved a thumbs up into my face. “Good job,” I replied. “Now you just need to grab the bowl and we’ll warm it up in the guest house.”

Scootaloo nodded again and reached out to grab the bowl. Just as she laid her hands on it, we both froze to the sound of footsteps.

“Hide,” I said in a hushed whisper.

Scootaloo’s eyes bugged out and went all over the kitchen. The footsteps were getting closer. “W-where?”

My eyes also went around the room in a panic before falling on what I was looking for. I jabbed my hand at the door next to the fridge. “Pantry!”

Scootaloo darted over to the door, flung it open, and slammed it shut. I practically cursed aloud at the noise. While the slam still echoed throughout the house, the footsteps became louder and their owner stepped into the kitchen.

“John? The hell are you doing up?” Rachel flipped on the lights in the kitchen, causing me to blink a little.

“I fell asleep after dinner and now I’m hungry again.” Despite my best efforts, my focus kept going over to the pantry.

Rachel narrowed her eyes at me. “That why you were running around earlier?”

“I... I was worried I’d forgotten something in my dorm.” I let out a chuckle that came out more nervous than I’d wished. “Painkillers make my head a little fuzzy on stuff though. Everything was fine.”

Rachel sighed and gave me that dismissive glare she seemed to save just for me. “Great, my bro’s a junkie.” She stepped forward and got into my personal space before I could say anything to her. “Move, I want something from the fridge.”

“Fine.” I relinquished my position and moved out of Rachel’s way.

“Where are the pickles?” she grumbled.

“I took them out to get to the leftovers.”

“Ugh,” Rachel exclaimed in the most exaggerated way possible. She shut the door with a gust of cold air and grabbed the jar of pickles from the counter. She glared at me again and started making her way back to her room.

A bag then fell from inside the pantry. Rachel stopped and stared at the closed room. “What was that?”

“Oh!” I exclaimed, playfully slapping my head. “I was looking in there for some snacks too, but I didn’t find anything good. Something must’ve fallen when I moved stuff around.”

“Idiot,” Rachel hissed. She gave me one last glare and then made her way back to her room. Down the hall, her voice echoed, “You better pick that up!”

I waited in silence until I heard Rachel close her room’s door. When I was sure she was back in her room, I opened the pantry door. Scootaloo was right by the door, shakily holding a bag of potato chips. “S-sorry.”

“Lets just get the pasta and get out of here,” I sighed.

A few minutes later, we were both outside again with leftover in tow. As we walked back to the guest house, Scootaloo spoke up. “Why did your sister sound angry?”

“Her way of showing affection,” I chuckled.

“You sound like Sweetie.”

That got enough of a laugh out of me to hurt my side at little. I gave my ribs a soft rub while smiling at Scootaloo. Right as we reached the door, I said, “Siblings don’t change no matter what world you’re on.”

“Yeah,” Scootaloo murmured.

Inside the guest house, Apple Bloom had moved a chair over to the bed. Sweetie had gotten under the covers and had changed into one of Jane or Sybil’s old t-shirts. Both of their heads turned up, but only Apple Bloom got up to meet us. “What’d ya get?”

“Pasta!” Scootaloo happily exclaimed, uncovering a bit of the tin foil on top of the bowl to show the food beneath. “It even smells good cold!”

“Really?” Apple Bloom brought her nose closer to the bowl and took a whiff. “I don’t know, the tomatoes don’t smell like tomatoes.”

“Preservatives will do that,” I explained while I opened up the microwave. “It’s still good.”

“If ya say so,” Apple Bloom said with a shrug.”

I beckoned to Scootaloo with my good hand. “Scootaloo, could you come over here and put the leftovers in the microwave? I’ll handle the rest.”

“Okay.” Scootaloo bustled over to me and propped the bowl into the microwave.

I reached in and removed the foil from the top of the bowl, shut the door, and pressed the setting for a large dinner plate. The microwave voomed to life and started spinning the leftover around.

Apple Bloom joined Scootaloo over by me and both of them stared up at the microwave. Their interest didn’t get past me and I laid a hand on top of the machine. “Sybil and Jane ever make popcorn in one of these?”

Apple Bloom waved a hand at me. “That’s silly. Ya make popcorn in a pot or a kettle, not whatever that is.”

“Well we do make corn in a kettle, but we can also make popcorn with this too.” I gave the microwave a pat. “When we watch a movie, I’ll make some.”

“That sounds fun,” said Sweetie. My lips twitched a little at her voice. It was incredibly soft and raspy from getting sick.

The smell of the pasta warming up helped counteract the melancholy Sweetie was generating. In short order, beeping filled the air and I cautiously took the steaming bowl from out of the microwave. I reached up into one of the cabinets above the cooking area and took out some styrofoam plates and the box of plastic cutlery that were perpetually in the guest house.

I removed a fork from the cutlery box and twirled it around the leftovers, making sure that the heat was as evenly distributed as possible. When the pasta was fully mixed, I used the fork to shovel it onto two plates, grabbed another fork, and gave both the food and utensils to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. “Bon appetite.”

“Thanks!” they both said at the same time, eagerly taking the plates.

“Sweetie.” I turned my head to her and held up the bowl. “I’m gonna put the rest of this in your fridge, okay? I know you’re not hungry right now, but just in case. Don’t forget, we’ve got apples and other fruit here too.”

Sweetie clasped her hands around the Gatorade bottle on her lap. “T-thanks... I think I’ll just have this right now.”

“It okay if we come over there and sit next to ya?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie nodded and we made our way over to the bed. I took the chair while the girls sat on the ground. For the first time, I noticed that the girls sat with their legs straight out, then I remembered that ponies can’t cross their legs.

While Scootaloo and Apple Bloom ate, I pulled out my phone to check for messages and emails. I didn’t have either so I quickly put it back in my pocket and looked over at Sweetie. “Still holding up?”

“Yeah.” Sweetie lifted the bottle to her lips and took a small sip. “My tummy is feeling better. I wish I hadn’t gotten sick at all though.”

“We all do,” I sighed. “I’m sorry Sweetie, I should have known something on the road would get you sick. Even normal humans can get upset stomachs from those places. I can vouch for that.”

~~~

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom made their way out of the bathroom in their pajamas AKA old t-shirts that went down to their upper shins. They crawled across the bed and slid under the covers next to Sweetie. I put my hands on my knees and got ready to leave. “Well, I think it’s time I—”

“Wait,” Sweetie tenderly called out, flashing very large eyes at me. “Aren’t you gonna tell us a story?”

Not the eyes again. I swear I felt one of my kidneys give out. “I... uh...” I put my hands to my side and reclined back in the chair. “What story would you like?”

“Ooh! How about The Legend of Green Thumb?” Apple Bloom cried out as she pushed herself up on the bed to stare at me with excited eyes.

“Or The Thunder Drummer!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

My eyes went back and forth between all three Crusaders. “Uh...”

“Ya don’t know ‘em, do ya?” Apple Bloom deflated back down to her part of the bed.

“Aw,” Scootaloo groaned and fell back on the bed as well.

“Well...” Sweetie shifted her head back and forth between her friends and me. “Maybe John could tell us one of his stories?”

“Okay!” said the other two Crusaders. All three of them then looked at me, eagerly expecting a tale.”

“Um... hmm...” I clasped my chin and tried to think of a story, but my mind just went into a maelstrom of idea, none of which stuck with me. For every idea, a counterpoint popped up on why it wouldn’t be a good idea to tell it. Stories, stories... Er, maybe... “Would you like to hear the story about the strongest man alive?”

“That sounds neat,” Sweetie cooly replied.

I smiled, glad that I’d hopefully chosen the right story. “Okay, well, a long time ago, on a planet far away, there lived a boy. He was very young so he never really saw much of his world and unfortunately, he never did. One day, his planet was shaken apart but his father helped him escape.”

Scootaloo pushed her hands back and forth to stop the story. “Wait, wait, wait. How could a planet just shake apart?”

I shrugged my shoulders at the question. “It kinda depends on who’s telling the story. Sometimes the planet gets shaken apart, sometimes it explodes, sometimes the sun eats i—”

Apple Bloom lurched forward and held herself perpendicularly over Sweetie. “Why would Princess Celestia make the sun eat a planet.”

“Not...” I waved a hand in her face to get her to scoot back before falling back into my seat, flustered. “Nevermind, one day the planet was destroyed and the boy became the last son of it. After some time, he landed on Earth...”

~~~

“... and he was able to save Lois and stop the missiles before they harmed anyone. He then went on to have many more great adventures.” I finished the story and slumped in the chair. My throat was dry and my eyes were incredibly heavy.

Through the constant questions of how someone could fly without wings to how a rock would hurt someone by being near it, I’d made it through the plot summary of Superman. Now that I had finally finished my tale, I noticed that all three of the Crusaders were sound asleep. I’d kinda gotten a little absorbed in storyteller role when I added in a “Wrong!” to Luthor’s scheme.

I smiled, astounded that my plan had actually worked. I unglued myself from the chair and stretched a little, producing a few cracks from my joints. I gave my ribs a scratch and then headed over to the door.

I turned back to give the girls one last look, especially checking to make sure Sweetie looked normal. To my relief, she looked just like the other Crusaders as she slept, with normal breathing and no sweating. The only difference was there were a few crumbs left over from the saltines she’d nibbled on while I’d been speaking.

“Night girls.” With a relieved sigh, I flicked off the light switch and closed the door as quietly as possible. Outside, I shivered a little. Even in Arizona, late-night April temperatures could be quite chilly. I wrapped my arms against myself and hustled back to the main house. My bed graciously welcomed me when I made it to my room. Before I fell asleep, I wished that things would still be okay in the morning.

Author's Note

This was actually gonna be the first part of the next chapter, but I think it works well enough on its own and has a lot of stuff happen in it.

Adventures in Shopping

I heard my door open and lifted my head at the sound. Before I could react, Oxford lept onto the bed and made a beeline for my face. I felt a tugging on my covers as Kloe tried to get up on the bed, but wasn’t able to make the jump with her stubby little legs. Amidst Oxford’s licking, I managed to prop myself up. “Buwha?”

“Sorry John.” I rubbed my left eye and realized mom was in the room as well. “I just wanted to tell you that I need to run your sister over to her friend’s house. She left some clothes and makeup over there.”

I flopped back onto my bed. Last night’s fiasco had seriously drained me and I really wanted some more sleep. “Ugh, so? Let me sleep.”

“Sorry,” mom mumbled, “your father already went to work and I didn’t know what else to do... there’s cinnamon buns in the oven though.”

That got me away from my pillow. I grinned for a couple of good reasons. “Well, why didn’t you say that first?”

~~~

It took a lot of restraint to not eat more than one cinnamon roll. It took even more restraint to not take the middle piece. The whole ordeal was exacerbated by rolling out of bed and facing the struggle of taking a shower with a cast on. By the time I was clean, I was really hungry. I ate some yogurt and a banana to keep from eating any more of the rolls.

Luckily, by the time I’d eaten breakfast, so had mom and Rachel. They left just as I was tossing out the banana peel. When I was certain their car wasn’t in sight anymore, I grabbed the plate of cinnamon rolls and went out to the guest house. For once, we wouldn’t be throwing out the extra pastries.

I knocked on the door, not wanting to just barge in if the girls were still asleep. Apparently, I was right about the sleep issue, since Apple Bloom opened the door and looked like she’d just flopped out of her bed, with her hair going in every direction. “John? Is it mornin’ already?”

“Yeah.” I made my way into the house. Sweetie and Scootaloo were still lying on the bed, sound asleep. “I got ya’ll something good for breakfast.”

Apple Bloom finally took notice of the plate in my hands. Her eyes widened as the rolls’ scent filled the room.

“Cinnamon buns!” Scootaloo suddenly shouted. She jumped out of bed and lunged over to us. “Please tell me the middle piece is still left?”

“So that’s what it takes to get ponies up in the morning,” I mused. I set the plate down by the stove and pulled down some plates. “You can have the middle piece... if Sweetie doesn’t want it.”

Scootaloo’s right hand twitched as if she were about to raise it in objection, but she glanced over at Sweetie instead. “Okay.”

By now, Sweetie had managed to pull herself out of bed and was shuffling over to us. She kept her eyes on the ground all the way over to us and when she stopped by the stove. “Sorry about last night.”

I gave my head a light shake. “Nothing you could have done about some bad food, but you can have some proper food to make up for it.”

Sweetie’s lips turned up in a soft smile and her eyes went over to the place of rolls. “I... I think that’d be nice. Rarity doesn’t usually make cinnamon rolls since they’re messy.” Her attention then went over to Scootaloo. “You can have the middle piece though.”

Scootaloo’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “Thanks Sweetie!”

Sounds like somepony’s sister has rubbed off on them. I separated the rolls with the spatula I’d brought with the plate and gave Scootaloo and Apple Bloom two each and gave Sweetie one. When I gave her her plate I said, “There’s another one here if you want it.”

“Mmhmm!” Sweetie replied, unable to speak due to the roll in her mouth.

The girls all hummed in delight at the cinnamon rolls. I made a mental note that Pillsbury was a powerful weapon against ponies. Bracing myself against the stove, I cleared my throat. “We’re gonna be going shopping today.”

“Neat!” Sweetie sang.

“Okay,” Apple Bloom said with a nod.

“Ugh,” Scootaloo groaned.

I chuckled a little at Scootaloo’s reaction. “I know, I know, I was the same way when I was little. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to get the clothes you want... just nothing too expensive.” I’m not made of money after all.

With the girls satisfied with breakfast, I put the last cinnamon roll onto a paper plate and grabbed the glass one the rolls had been in. “It won’t take my mom long to get back, so I gotta go now. Watch a movie if you want to. Oh, and make sure to wear the clothes I found you in.” At least those won’t look as odd.

I gave them a wave with my cast and scuttled back to the the main house. Inside, I checked my computer, but there were no new emails aside from the usual drivel I got from my school. TV seemed like a more appealing distraction right now, so I made my way to the family room and plopped myself down onto a couch. With a click of the remote, the tv flicked on.

Just when I was about to jump to Comedy Central, I remembered that it was still early in the morning. I wished I’d had more time to show the girls how to use the tv, now would have been a good time for them to watch stuff. As for me, nothing came to my mind to watch. Thank god for DVR.

I clicked around on the remote and pulled up the list of recorded shows. The list was filled with History Channel, Travel Channel, and god-knows-what-else dad had recorded. South Park was in there somewhere and I was going to watch it.

However, before I reached my desired show, a different one popped up on the list. In the right hand corner of the screen, Twilight and Celestia popped up along with the MLP logo. My eyes popped open at a realization. The season finale was yesterday.

Even though I couldn’t see it through the walls, my eyes crept in the direction of the guest house. My finger inched over to the play button. I wonder...

~~~

“Really?” I pouted as the credits for part one rolled. Man, part two better be epic. This was just... blah. My finger once more went to the remote so I could watch part two when the garage door opened. Later then.

I pushed myself off the couch and over to the door. Mom was already inside by the time I made it over to her. “Have fun dropping Rachel off?”

“The sooner she gets her license, the better. One second she wants to come home, the next, she’s staying with her friends to do homework.” Mom went to her knees, reached up for the two leashes on the coat hanger, and attached them to Oxford and Kloe. The two of them would always rush to the door whenever someone came in through the garage and that made it easy to get leashes on them. “Are you good to help me take them out?”

I bent down and snatched up Kloe’s leash. “Unless she somehow finds the strength to drag me, I think I’ll be good.”

We walked through the family room and out into the backyard. The dogs eagerly rushed over to the grass to do their business. While that was going on, I looked over at mom. “So, what were you planning for today?”

“Whatever you want,” she replied in a sweet voice like I was a kid again. People should get casts more often, it takes ten years off you.

I shrugged my shoulders and rotated them around. “I don’t know. I’m still a little tired from the drive over, not really in the mood to go out.”

“Well, I can always make you anything you want for lunch or go out and get you something.”

“I think I’ll do fine with the leftover pasta from last night.” I’ll even be hungry enough to clean the whole bowl.

“That’s fine too. Are there any movies you want? Video games? Books?”

I kept my face stoic at mom’s offers. “I think I’d like you to help dad. He’s probably really behind because of the past few days. Why don’t you go to his office? I’ll be fine here.”

“He has been quite busy,” mom murmured. She looked down at the dogs, who were at our feet, ready to go in. “It’s okay that I just rest a little right now? I’ll go to dad’s office in a bit, but I want to watch my soaps.”

“Of course,” I said with a grin. At least now I get to watch the rest of the finale.

~~~

I clicked the tv off and stared at the blank screen. Wow... so I can now say I’ve seen a little girls show that involves hellspawn, attempted regicide, and frickin’ laser beams. I chuckled a little at the last thought. Pretty Disney-esque too... man, people are gonna be making Little Mermaid jokes till season 3.

Just as I was about to chuckle again, a dark thought slapped me in the face. My eyes darted in the direction of the guest house again. Oh my god! They were there! Wait, no, were they? Maybe I should as—

An image of the changeling queen baring her fangs at the Crusaders sprung up in my mind. They were all shivering as she backed them into a corner. Her jagged horn lit up and sent out a sickly green jet that wrapped around the girls and encased them in a gelatinous cocoon. They screamed, but no one heard them.

The thought only took a second to pass, but it left me shaking. Better I not ask.

~~~

I’d eventually clicked the tv back on. To steady myself, I’d switched to a news channel. I would have gone for C-SPAN, but I wanted to calm down, not fall asleep. I’d flicked through a couple of the news stations, but nothing noteworthy appeared to be going on. The only thing that seemed of importance was that kidnapping in Austin. If my school was still in the news, I didn’t see it since mom walked in just as one news show ended and another began.

“I took the dogs out again just to be sure.”

I hadn’t even noticed her open the door from her bedroom to the backyard. The news must have really done the trick in calming me down. “Thanks.”

“You’re certain you’ll be okay?” she asked with a slightly pleading tone.

“I’m not the one who needs help right now, dad is,” I sighed.

“Okay.” Mom turned around and shuffled over to the garage. “Just call me if you need anything.”

“Got it.” I waited on the couch while mom pulled her car out and drove off to dad’s office. Oxford lept up to the couch while I sat in silence. I gave him a scratch behind the ears. “You hold down the fort while I’m gone, okay?”

Oxford attempted to lick my nose in response, but I was too far away.

“You silly dog.” I got off the couch, convinced enough time had passed that the coast was clear.

I went outside and knocked on the guest house door once more. This time, Scootaloo answered the door. “Ready to go?” I asked with a smile.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo replied. Sweetie and Apple Bloom came over to the door, ready to go as well. With my mind on shopping, I noticed Jane’s flip-flops that were hilariously oversized on the girls.

“It wasn’t too bad waiting in the house this morning?” I asked as we walked away from my house and over to the main street. For once, the mall being close wouldn’t be a pain.

“Nah,” Apple Bloom said with a shake of her head. “It was actually really fun.”

“We got to see Princess Luna!” Sweetie enthusiastically added.

I nearly tripped over my own legs. I bent down and grasped Sweetie by the shoulders. “Where?”

“Oh!” Sweetie flinched back and looked to the ground, red tinting her face. “We... we didn’t really see her... it’s just that...”

“She was on that tv thing that plays the movies,” Scootaloo chimed in, “but they got all our costumes wrong except for Sweetie.”

Apple Bloom pushed in between me and Sweetie to get my attention. “Yeah! I went as a ghost pony not Frankenstallion.”

“She’s right!” Scootaloo jabbed a thumb at her head. “I went as the headless horse, not a wolf.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” I raised my hands up and down to quite to girls and stopped squatting over the ground. “First off, we’ll talk and walk. Second, how in the world did you find the HUB? Third, what else did you see on tv?”

The last question especially worried me. However, Scootaloo quickly spoke up while we walked. “Well, we got kinda bored and we tried to figure out that movie machine. We got that weird disk thing into it, but then it just showed these short shows before it just stopped.”

I wanted to whack myself in the head. I’d explained how to put a movie into the DVD player, but I hadn’t explained DVD menus. “Sorry, that’s my fault for not explaining menus.”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow at me. “What’s this gotta do with ordering food?”

I opened my mouth, about to explain how DVDs worked, before I closed it again and waved a hand at Apple Bloom. “Nevermind, I’ll tell you later. Scootaloo, what did you do after that?”

“We tried to get the movie to work by pressing that thing with all the buttons,” Scootaloo continued, “but we pressed this one button and then there was this really boring guy on tv.”

“He was like a human version of that donkey Pinkie Pie made friends with,” Sweetie commented.

“Oh lord, Larry King must have been on for a special,” I half-joked half-sighed.

“He was a king?” Sweetie nearly tripped in surprise and I had to grab her arm to keep her upright.

“No, that’s just his name,” I explained, letting go of Sweetie’s arms as I did.

“Whatever,” Scootaloo pouted, “can I finish now?” When she got silence from the rest of us, she spoke again. “So we started pushing the up and down arrows. I don’t know what that button thing says, but we figured out that two up and down arrows make the tv really loud and the other two make other people show up.”

Scootaloo then smiled up at me. “Then we found a bunch of really fun looking fish... and a sponge.”

Sweetie raised her hand like she was asking a question in class. “How can a sponge talk? Also, I don’t think it’d be that happy, not after the stuff Rarity has cleaned with them.”

A fit of laughter escaped out of my mouth. “He looks like a cleaning sponge, but he’s actually a sea sponge.”

“A what?” asked Apple Bloom.

“A sponge that lives under the sea,” I explained.

“Yeah Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo interjected, “that weird pirate guy said so. Kinda weird that you can grow pineapples underwater. Ours died when we gave it too much water, guess we really didn’t give it enough.”

We came to a crosswalk and I held up a hand to halt the Crusaders. “So what happened next?”

Scootaloo swept her foot across the ground while we waited. “The sponge disappeared after he got out of this weird dark place with a glove balloon. The tv just showed these old people talking about something called ‘enshurants.’ They were really boring, so we changed the channel and then Princess Luna was talking to us really loud.”

Apple Bloom frowned just as the light changed. “We tried to talk back to her, but it was just on the tv... she wasn’t really there, right?”

“No, just a show,” I sighed while we made our way across the street.

Sweetie clasped a hand to her chin just as we stepped onto the adjacent sidewalk. “Our costumes were different after all... except mine, how’d they get mine right?”

I shrugged my shoulders at Sweetie. “I honestly don’t know.”

Scootaloo brought her eyes to the ground. “I hope Princess Luna’s okay.”

I pulled off the best smile I could. “Hey, she managed a thousand years on the moon, right? Here it can’t be half as bad.” Hmm, actually, I should check how much of Equestria was affected by whatever sent everypony here. Maybe Slorg would know.

However, that question would have to be answered another time since our goal was now in sight. In front of us stood the mall, namely the Macy’s entrance. “Well, here we are.”

Apple Bloom looked forward then up at me. “Where’s here?”

I pointed forward at the building. “The mall.”

All three Crusaders gave me blank stares. Sweetie broke the awkward silence. “Um, what’s a mall?”

“Oh.” It finally dawned on me that Equestria didn’t have malls. “Think of it like a big marketplace. There’s a ton of shops and places to eat inside. We’ll get ya’ll some clothes and then some food. Sound good?”

“Yup!” they all replied at once.

“Then lets go shopping.” Never thought I’d say that.

We quickly walked through the parking lot and over to the sliding glass doors of Macy’s. When we stepped inside, all the girls’ eyes went around the store, taking in the white tiles, the rows upon rows of clothing, and the escalators that stood in the center of it all.

“Oh ma stars!” Apple Bloom gasped. She tugged on my jeans to get my attention. “Ya didn’t tell us this place was a castle!”

“It isn—” Before I could say anything else, Sweetie tugged on the other leg of my jeans.

“There’s so many clothes!” Sweetie happily exclaimed. “Rarity would love it here!”

“Girls!” I shouted with a shake of my legs. “Calm down!”

“Sir,” a female voice called out, “can we help you with something?”

I turned around just as I managed to shake the girls off of me. In the confusion, a store assistant had walked over to us. She had on that stepford smile all good employees have, the kind you really shouldn’t have when you see a man in a cast trying to calm down three little girls. “Er, uh sorry, it’s their first time here.”

“Oh,” the assistant replied while keeping her smile, “well, the children’s section is on the third floor to the left of the elevator. There are other assistants upstairs if you need them.” Without a moment’s hesitation, the assistant then scooted off to help some other poor soul.

Scootaloo twisted her head over to the escalators and looked up through the gap they made in the ceiling. “So we gotta go up those weird moving steps?”

“Nope.” I marched forward towards where the entrance into the main part of the mall was but stopped after a second and turned around. The girls were still behind me, but seeing all the people around us gave me an nervous feeling. I extended a hand out to Scootaloo, who was at the front of the group. “All of you, take each others’ hands. The mall is really big, so I don’t want anyone getting lost. Only let go if you’ve told me, okay?”

The girls all looked at each other, nodded, and clasped their hands together while Scootaloo grabbed my left hand. Their safety secured, I led the Crusaders through Macy’s. Whenever I took a cursory glance back, their eyes were going in all directions.

“So many perfumes,” Sweetie remarked.

“Oh just wait,” I teased right as we stepped out into the main part of the mall.

All of the girls gave very audible “woahs.” Apple Bloom broke the formation, raced up to me, and tugged my shirt. “There’s so many shops! Even Canterlot doesn’t have anything like this!”

“This is so cool!” Scootaloo exclaimed. It didn’t slip past me that her eyes had gone up to an Industrial shop that was prominently displaying its skateboards in the windows.

Sweetie’s eyes had gone to a Claire’s. Earrings and cheap jewelry glinted from it’s windows. That unnatural pink-magenta light also radiated from it that had always veered me straight away from it and over to the GameStop next door.

Coincidentally, that was where Apple Bloom’s focus went to. She let go of my shirt and raised a hand up to the store. “Hey, they got that thing Ms. Sybil had!”

“Yes, yes they do.” I reached down and took Apple Bloom’s hand. “Remember what I said about holding hands though? We’ve got to be careful.”

“Sorry,” they all meekly replied before linking hands again.

I gave them an encouraging grin. “Don’t worry, if we have time, we’ll go to all the stores you want after lunch. Clothes and food come first though.”

The Crusaders excitedly grinned at the prospect of going to the stores they found alluring. Suddenly, they all shouted, “Cutie mark shoppers! Yay!”

More than a few heads turned at that. My vision awkwardly went to the ground and I quickly tugged the girls to our destination. I only looked up when we were a good distance away from where the Crusaders had yelled. We all stayed silent until I halted the girls in front of our goal: a GAP outlet store. “Alright girls, you can get any clothes you want in here and I’ll help you pick out anything else you want.”

“Um...” Sweetie, using her free hand, scratched the back of her head. “How do we pick out clothes? Do we just ask the people inside to make them for us?”

“Oh...” The girls’ wonder hadn’t just come from the size of the mall, but the quantity of stuff in it too. Mass production wasn’t a concept they understood. This was gonna take a bit. “It kinda works like that. We’ll ask the clerks what size ya’ll are and go from there.”

We stepped into the store and I led the girls over to the cashier. My cast thumped on the desk and the clerk’s attention went to me. “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

“Yeah,” I replied. I let go of Apple Bloom’s hand and used it to gesture to all of the girls. “My sisters need some new clothes, but my parents didn’t says what size they are.”

The clerk raised an eyebrow to me. “You’ve never gone shopping with them before?”

“Never had to pay attention to their sizes before,” I shot back.

The clerk narrowed her eyes and scanned over the girls. “Hmm, well, they all look like they’d be good for girl’s size small for shirts. They’ll need to try some pants on themselves to figure that size out though.”

“Thanks.” With that, I backed away from the cashier and over to the girl’s section of the store. The Crusaders followed after me. “Alright, just pick out any shirts that have a big M on them.” To help illustrate what an “M” was, I pulled out my phone and typed the letter on it. “This thing. As for shorts and jeans, pick out ones that look like they will fit. Get jackets too.”

“Sure!” they all replied before fanning out around the area. In a short order, a large amount of white blouses, orange t-shirts, yellow t-shirts, and blue jeans came into my possession. There were some jackets of similar colors and beige shorts mixed in as well. After a few minutes, a mountain of clothing had formed.

“I think that should be good.” I said looking over the pile. “Lets see, we’ve got shirts, pants, and jackets, but you also need socks and...” I paused and cringed. Oh god, I forgot about underwear!

~~~

I’m going to Hell. The rest of the short time we’d spent in the store had been a huge awkward nightmare. I’d picked out the necessary clothes, but the girls questioned me the entire time about the weird little pieces of fabric. It didn’t help that Sweetie kept mumbling the entire time. I only caught a few words in my fluster, but I’m sure I heard something about socks and grown-ups.

Leaving the store was a refreshing change of air. My left arm was weighed down with two bags. Apple Bloom had kindly taken the other two bags, which was pretty impressive given I was having a bit of trouble with mine. She wasn’t even breaking a sweat.

However, when I looked back to check on the girls, I noticed that Sweetie was actually the one sweating a little. With a concerned frown, I asked, “You okay?”

“Yeah...” Sweetie muttered. She raised a hand to her head and rested it there. “My head just hurts a little.”

“We were standing for a while.” My eyes went over to a nearby bench. I gestured my cast over to it. “Why don’t we take a seat over th—”

“Oh my gosh!” Scootaloo screamed. She then broke away from the group and rushed ahead.

“Darn it!” I dropped my bags and gave chase. Without looking back, I yelled, “Stay over by the bench! I’ll be right back!”

Scootaloo raced forward and disappeared into a nearby store. I stomped in and found her gawking in front of a row of shirts. I grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around. “You can’t just go running off like that!”

Surprise, confusion, and finally realization fell across Scootaloo’s face. “Oh... sorry.” She then gained a smile and waved her free hand at the row of shirts. “It’s just that I saw this place and had to check it out! It’s so awesome!”

It finally dawned on me to look around the store. The shop was dimly lit and shirts upon shirts lined the walls. There were shirts for bands, shirts for movies, shirts for internet memes, and shirts for tv shows. The last one was what had drawn Scootaloo’s attention, specifically a certain pony related show. Directly in front of us were a ton of MLP shirts, namely ones displaying Dash’s prismatic mane. Scootaloo had found the Hot Topic.

With gleaming eyes, Scootaloo asked, “Can I get one?”

✦✦✦

Now I get why people wear clothes, it’s so they can show off! I looked down again at my new awesome Rainbow Dash shirt and kept smiling. John was pretty cool to get it for me. Still, I probably shouldn’t have run off when I saw the shirt. Even Apple Bloom got mad at me when we went back to her and Sweetie.

Sweetie looked a little tired, but I can’t really blame her. That other clothing store was so boring. We should have just gone to the cool store. They had a so many Rainbow Dash shirts, but John only let me get one. There were a bunch of other cool shirts there too. I should’ve asked to get this one that had a phoenix on fire and clutching an arrow. That one looked sweet.

After we met back up with Sweetie and Apple Bloom, we had to go and get shoes. Shoes make even less sense than clothes. They’re these weird things you put around your feet like hard socks. I don’t know what they do though. They don’t help you walk like land flippers. I asked John about it and he said human feet are softer than hooves and that’s why they wear shoes.

I picked out these really cool looking shoes that had a lightning bolt on them. Apple Bloom just picked out some brown ones and Sweetie picked out these white ones that had flowers on them. I picked the best ones since I asked the shop person if the shoes made me faster and he said they did.

John made us put on the new shoes after we bought them. They felt kinda weird, but he said we’d get used to them and if they were really uncomfortable we’d give them back. He then took us over to this weird screen thing. It kinda looked like a tv, but it had a bunch of numbers below it. John looked really surprised when Apple Bloom asked what all the numbers were for, then he told us it was a money machine. He took out one of those magic card things, the machine ate it, he punched in some number, and then it gave him a bunch of that green paper. That was pretty nice of the machine.

We walked down this huge hall and over to this part of the mall that smelled really good. There were people sitting down everywhere eating all sorts of different food. John said this part of the mall was like a giant restaurant, but you had to go order food rather than a waiter coming to you. He got us a table and handed us a piece of that green paper. He said we could go wherever we wanted for food but he warned us about meat. We all had to Pinkie Promise that we wouldn’t take too long getting food.

Sweetie went off to a salad shop that John pointed out, but I wasn’t really in the mood for salad. I saw Apple Bloom heading over to this shop that sold things that looked like crepes but they were filled with beans and cheese and then rolled up. They looked pretty good and I was gonna get one too when I smelled something really good.

The smell was coming from this shop that had a black and white bear on it. The shop had a bunch of noodles and rice and these crispy things and it all smelled really good. I saw this guy getting this big plate of food and it looked really good. I was totally gonna get that.

Right by the food, this sales person in a red apron bent over the food counter and looked down at me. “What can I get you?”

I pointed at the guy at the end of the line. He had one of those magic cards too and gave it to another shop pony that swiped it through this thing that looked like a mini money machine. “I want what he got please.”

“Coming right up.” The salesperson got these tasty looking noodles on a plate, followed by these crispy things that were covered a weird orange syrup, and finally he gave me this fried thing that looked like a smaller version of the food Apple Bloom was getting. He slid the plate down to the other sales person and I walked down to her.

“That’ll be eight-fifty,” the other salesperson said. She didn’t sound as happy as the food salespersons. I was confused what exactly of eight-fifty she wanted, but I remembered what John said and gave her the green paper. She typed something into the money machine with one hand and gave me my food with the other. Right after she gave me my food, she also gave me more green paper and some tiny coins. “Have a nice day.”

“Thanks,” I said with a smile. I grabbed my stuff and ran back to the table. Apple Bloom and Sweetie were already back, which meant I was last. At least nopony had brought up whoever was last being a rotten egg.

I seated myself between Sweetie and John. John slumped his shoulders and looked really tired, but he managed to stand up. “I’m gonna go get my own lunch now that you’re all back.”

John walked away and left us to ourselves. I peered across the table at Apple Bloom’s food, which was wrapped up in this shiny metal. “So what exactly is that thing called?” I asked.

“A bureetoe.” Apple Bloom picked at the shiny metal and it peeled away from the bureetoe like it was made of paper. Why don’t they just wrap it in paper? “They had a ton of stuff ya could put into it, like peppers, cheese, guacamole, tomatoes, and black or brown beans. I got mine with black beans, rice, and cheese. They asked if I wanted meat but I said no. What about you Scoots? What’d ya get?”

I picked up the mini-bureetoe and showed it to Sweetie and Apple Bloom. “They gave me a small bureetoe that’s fried like a fritter, I think.” I put it down and then pointed at the noodles and the crispy things. “They also gave me these noodles and these crispy things.”

I put my nose close to the crispy things and smelled it. “The crispy stuff smells like oranges, but it tickles your nose too.”

“People food is weird,” Sweetie muttered. She’d just gotten a regular lame salad.

“Aw c’mon Sweetie, think of it like a vacation,” I helpfully suggested. “I’ve never seen any food like this back home!” I grabbed a fork and jabbed it into one of the crispy things before eating it. It was crunchy on the outside but warm and juicy on the inside. “Mmm! It’s really good!”

Apple Bloom was eating her bureetoe while I was eating the crispy stuff. It looked really good too, so I decided to try my mini one. It was crunchy like the crispy stuff, but the inside was filled with veggies. I have to admit, people make some pretty good food. Hands must help them with that.

John came back to the table just when I finished slurping up this really long noodle. It looked like he’d gone to the same place as me, only he’d gotten this rice with veggies in it, this thick white stuff with green beans and mushrooms. He sat down and dug into his own dish. Walking must’ve made him really hungry.

After John ate some of his food, he looked up at us. “Ya’ll enjoying your food too?”

“Mmmhmm!” Apple Bloom hummed with a mouthful of bureetoe. She looked like a chipmunk with all the food in her mouth. It almost made me giggle.

“Yep!” I happily replied. “That place with the black and white bear is really good!”

John gave me a small grin. “Yeah, Panda Express is pretty go—”

Suddenly, John turned really white, like almost as white as the time with Discord. He wasn’t looking at me anymore but down at my plate. His voice was really shaky and it scared me a little. “Scootaloo... oh god...”

“W-what?” I asked, afraid I’d done something really bad. John always said that “god” word when something was really bad.

“Scootaloo...” He held up a shaky finger at my plate and pointed to the crispy stuff. “That’s chicken.”

“It’s what?” I yelled so loud that every person around us started looking at it. I only focused on John and the food under me. No! It couldn’t have been chicken! Chickens have feathers and beaks and they squawk. They’re... they’re not tasty! “Y-you’re j-joking right?”

“Ohh...” came a moan to my right. Sweetie wasn’t looking good, her face was really green like it’d been last night. I should be the one getting sick!

In a blur, John sent his chair backward and went over to Sweetie. He gave a grunt and lifted her up in his arms. He raced over to this corner while yelling, “Girls! Follow me!”

Every person was watching us as we ran wherever John was taking us. He moved really fast, almost as fast as Rainbow Dash. Both Apple Bloom and I were out of breath when we got to the corner John had turned around. I managed to catch a glimpse of him running into this room that smelled really clean. Apple Bloom and I ran in and I realized when I saw that stalls that John had taken Sweetie to a bathroom.

We found them over by a stall with Sweetie hunched over a toilet looking even worse than last night. John was kneeling by her with his good hand on her back. “Just get it out Sweetie, you’ll feel better.”

“No! Sweetie groaned. “It hurts! Make it stop! Make it stop!”

“Just get it out!” John yelled. “Get it ou—”

All of us went silent and John’s eyes got as big as dinner plates. Sweetie’s head lit up with this bright blue light. The light zoomed off her head and hit a tile above the toilet. There was a flash and then there was a tiny flower hanging over the toilet where the tile had been.

“S-sweetie... your mane.” Apple Bloom pointed a finger at Sweetie’s head. Her mane was back to her original color except for the tips, which were still brown like my mane was.

Sweetie didn’t say anything and instead brought her hands up to her head and moved them around. She let out a deep breath and then slumped down. “I feel better now.”

“We’re leaving.” John grabbed Sweetie like he’d grabbed me and strode out of the bathroom. Apple Bloom and I nervously followed behind. He grabbed our bags from the table without saying anything. Every person was still looking at us and whispering. I really didn’t like that they were whispering.

John handed a few bags to Apple Bloom and then marched out of the mall. We stayed quiet all the way to his home.

Suspicion

Suspicion

“What happened?” I rasped. I was on one knee and eye level with Sweetie. The trip back home had left me winded with my right side on fire. I gritted my teeth and kept my eyes focused on Sweetie and waited for an answer.

Sweetie’s eyes drifted to the floor. Her lip trembled and she balled up her hands. “I... I don’t know. It just hurt a lot and then it didn’t.”

“Did Discord do anything to you back at school?” I’d played out hundreds of different questions on the way back home. It wasn’t a good sign when Discord seemed to the most likely explanation.

“No way!” Apple Bloom shouted. “We’d never let him hurt Sweetie, right Scootaloo?”

Scootaloo’s head darted up from the floor. While I’d been talking to Sweetie, Scootaloo had curled up under the stove. Apple Bloom’s question startled her out of whatever daze she’d been in. She vigorously nodded her head up and down. “Yeah, sure... sure.”

“Then what was it?” I asked, probably louder than I should have.

Sweetie flinched at my voice and took and step back. She was shaking now. “I-I don’t know.”

“That’s why I need to find out!” Aggravated, I ran my good hand through my hair. Apple Bloom glared at me. I gave up resting on one knee and fell on my back. Silence fell on the guest house as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them again, I focused on Sweetie with a much softer look. “I don’t want whatever that was to hurt you.”

“Oh...” Sweetie hollowly replied. She trotted over and bowed her head low to me. “I’m sorry.”

I reached out and gently placed my good hand on her shoulder. Despite the pain in my side, I managed to get a smile onto my face. “At least you feel better, so it’s not all bad. How about we watch a movie?”

“Sure!” Sweetie and Apple Bloom replied with wide grins.

“Can we watch the one about the Totoro?” Scootaloo quietly asked.

“Hmm.” I grunted and picked myself off the ground and over to the pile of DVDs by the TV. The girls followed me to see what movie I would choose. I lowered my arm and showed them the cover: a girl with a black cat on her shoulder and a broom underneath her. “Well, Sybil took Totoro back, but I have another movie by the same person. How about we watch that?”

“Okay!” the Crusaders shouted.

“Alright, Kiki’s Delivery Service it is then.” I powered up the DVD player and the TV, and set up the movie, but it didn’t start immediately since I kept it on the channel mode. The girls peered back and forth at the TV and the remote while I explained each and every button to them. They didn’t care that I was setting up parental blocks on practically every channel, their eyes were glued to the quick movements of my thumb clicking over various buttons.

“I think we understand how the remote works now,” Scootaloo huffed after a few minutes.

“Sorry, it sometimes confuses even me.” My hand ached just a little less than my side by the time I finished blocking the channels. I finally pressed the “TV/DVD” button and the screen flicked black for a second, then a still photo of Kiki on her broom greeted us. “This is a menu screen. To get the movie to play, you just need to hit the play button.”

“I get it. It makes a lot more sense when ya understand the symbols.” Apple Bloom practically pushed her face into the remote’s play button and then looked up at the screen. On screen, the camera was panning over breathtaking hills. It stopped at two hills with the sun setting between them. As the sun fell, its light fell upon a small village nestled in the trees. The camera cut to a wooden house and a young girl with a red bow in her hair. “Hey, she kinda has a bow like mine.”

“Oooh,” Sweetie squeed. She excitedly jabbed a finger right at the screen. A black cat had appeared and crawled up on the girl’s shoulder. “Look! She’s got a cute cat too!”

Sweetie’s hand recoiled in surprise when Phil Hartman’s voice came out of the cat’s mouth. “It talked! Cats don’t talk!”

“Think of the girl like Fluttershy. She’s really good with animals, so she can understand them,” I explained.

“Hey, that kinda looks like Zecora’s hut,” Apple Bloom commented. On screen, Kiki was fiddling around with a bunch of boiling brews.

The start of the film was my favorite part and I laid back just as my pocket started buzzing. I reached down and pulled out my phone. A small groan escaped my lips when I saw that the caller was mom. “I need to take this.”

I got up off the ground and walked over to the bathroom. A fresh wave of pain in my side awarded me for my efforts. I closed the door and clicked the answer button on my phone. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” mom quivered.

Aw crap. “Uh, out on a walk? Why?”

“You scared me half to death! I came home and only the dogs were here and...” I heard a soft sob on the other end of the line. Mom’s voice came back, shaking and angry. “Dammit John! You can’t just keep going out like this! What if something had happened?”

“Nothing has happened,” I lied. My labored breathing due to my side probably wasn’t helping matters. “I just wanted to go on a walk. I should have told you though, I’m sorry.”

Mom gave some more sobs, followed by a few deep breaths. “Just call me next time. How far are you from home?”

“Actually, I’m just walking into the neighborhood. Did you just get back? I must have missed your car driving home.”

“You probably came from the north, I came from the south.” Mom’s voice was still a bit shaky, but its normal bubbliness was returning. “Do you want me to leave the garage open or are you coming in from the front door?”

“Garage.”

“Okay, and for the love of god, don’t tell your father. Bad enough you got me worked up.”

“Right, see ya soon.” I clicked off the phone and staggered out of the bathroom. The girls were all glued to the TV. A quick glimpse revealed that I’d missed the opening credits but that Kiki was still flying through the air on her broom.

Scootaloo was the first to notice me stepping out of the bathroom. She hopped to her feet and darted over to me. “John! Why can she fly?”

“It’s a movie.” Apple Bloom stayed where she was and kept her gaze on the TV. “People can do lotsa things they can’t do here. Why else would they ride in those car things?”

“That about sums it up.” I turned Scootaloo around and pushed her back over to the TV and her friends. “My mom just gave me a call, so I gotta head back, but if anything happens, anything at all, you come get me.”

The Crusaders nodded. That was enough confirmation for me and my side. It was stabbing repeatedly at me now and each step felt worse than the last. I needed my painkillers. I managed to muster up a smile and waved at the girls before closing the door on them.

The path back to the house was only a few yards at most, but my side extended the trip to a few miles. I was breathing heavily by the time I made it to the garage. Before I opened the door to the main house, I gulped down the air and tried to steady myself. I got more pain for my trouble.

I gritted my teeth and pulled open the door. The entranceway was empty and I thought I was in the clear until I saw mom in the kitchen. My expression must have been as pale as hers. “John, you don’t look well.”

“Didn’t want to worry you... but I think that pasta upset my stomach a little,” I lied. At least I was genuinely clutching my side in agony. It was impossible to avoid getting closer to mom in order to get to my room. “I’m gonna lie down for a bit.”

Mom’s hand was on my shoulder before I could react. “Do you need me to call a doctor?”

“No!” I yelled. My cast whipped upwards and slapped mom’s hand away. “I don’t need your help! I can handle this!” I pressed my good hand closer to my side. It only seemed to worsen the pain. “Ugh, I just need my pills. Don’t bother me.”

The way down to my room zoomed off into infinity. It was deathly silent too. I only had my thoughts on the long walk, but they were quite enough. The mall, the shouting, the lies, and Sweetie, most of all Sweetie.

The scene in the bathroom played out in my head again when my left hand opened my room’s door. I stumbled over to my desk, the pills and a glass of old water were still there from this morning. I unscrewed the cap, nearly cracking it in two, and managed to pour out a single pill.

The pill went down easy, but it didn’t help to alleviate anything. I smacked down on my bed, not even bothering to take off my shoes. The scene in the bathroom replayed again and again across the ceiling. My body and eyelids grew heavy, but the scene still kept playing. There was only one other thought in my head as everything faded to black. I don’t know what to do.

✦✦✦

Scootaloo trotted back over to us after John shut the door. She didn’t look very happy. I’d be pretty upset too if I ate a chicken. I was about to say something to her when a train horn came out of nowhere and made me jump up.

Apple Bloom giggled at me while I sank back down to the ground. “It’s just the movie, Sweetie.”

My heart had nearly popped out of my chest, but it was better than getting sick. Apple Bloom was right; the movie was showing the girl getting onto a train in the middle of a storm. Her name was Kiki, but I don't think that sounds like a very magical name. She was a thing called a witch, which must be some kind of human magic user. She can levitate stuff like Rarity, fly like a pegasus, and her mom can make potions like Zecora.

I like her, she’s a lot like a Crusader. Apparently, witches need to find what they’re good at when they turn thirteen. So, it’s kinda like finding a cutie mark, but I’d hate to wait until I was thirteen. “Hey, Scootaloo, wouldn’t it be horrible to wait until you were thirteen to get a cutie mark?”

“I think I’d go crazy!” Scootaloo shouted. “Why would you even bring that up?”

“Well, I was just thinking Kiki is a lot like a blank flank,” I explained.

Apple Bloom clasped her hand around her chin. She used to do that with her hoof, but you can only tap your chin, not grab it. I think it feels weird. Apple Bloom doesn’t really mind and Scootaloo says hands are like ticklish wings. “I guess she is like a blank flank.”

“And she can use magic.” That was what really got me interested in Kiki. She was only a few years older than me, but her magic was good enough to keep a broom in the air for hours. She had some issues with it, but I’ve never seen anypony fly on something before. “Maybe if I knew magic better all that stuff at the mall wouldn’t have happened.”

“Don’t get down about it.” Apple Bloom gave me a light elbow in the side. “I’m sure whatever it was was just some weird occu... ocu... thing. Lotsa weird things have happened while we’ve been here.”

“I guess,” I sighed and tried to smile a little, but I only thought back to the bathroom. John had gotten mad, really mad. He looked even worse than that time I’d made Rarity really angry and run off to Apple Bloom’s farm. No, that wasn’t right. He looked like Rarity when she’d found me with Apple Bloom and Applejack. “I hope John’s okay.”

“He’ll be fine,” said Scootaloo. “He protected us from Discord after all. He’s just a little hurt like that time Rainbow Dash broke her wing.”

If this was anything like the time Rainbow Dash broke her wing, Scootaloo would be at John’s side until we pried her away from him. She’d cried more than I knew it was possible for a pony to cry at the Ponyville Hospital. Rainbow Dash was actually really nice about it and gave Scootaloo a hug. We all made her get well cards and laughed when we heard about the book incident, except for Scootaloo. She became a Daring Do fan overnight.

“Anyway, can we get back to the movie?” Scootaloo gestured at the TV. Kiki was now in a town. I’d never seen a town like it. It was by a huge lake with lots of white and red towers and tall buildings that looked like hotels.

We all stayed pretty quiet after that. The part where Jiji had to pose as a doll got us to laugh though. He was silly, staying in one position and sweating really bad when the big dog came up to him.

Scootaloo’s eyes went wide when she saw the boy use his flying machine. It wasn’t really that impressive, it was just a bike with wings and a windmill attached to it. “Hey, how come our machine didn’t work like that when we tried to get our cutie marks in flying machines?”

“Maybe he used better glue than we did,” I suggested.

Apple Bloom got up and pointed at the machine’s windmill. “Plus, he’s got a newer windmill. We only had the old one nopony was using.”

“Hmm.” Scootaloo sunk back down to where she’d been sitting. Her eyes turned really narrow whenever the boy was on the screen after that.

My eyes probably narrowed too when Kiki couldn’t use her magic anymore. I didn’t like that and it made my stomach feel funny. Not sick funny, but I still didn’t like it. It reminded me of the stories Rarity would tell about Discord and how he took her horn away and made her mean. That made those weird bumps people got when they’re cold appear on my skin. Discord hadn’t done anything evil to me. I’d be mean to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo if he had. I didn’t like thinking about that.

Kiki did get back her magic and that made me really happy. The end of the movie made me confused though. “So why did she lose her magic?”

Apple Bloom scratched her head. “I think it’s cause she got a cold and was really sad.”

“Oh yeah,” I replied. A memory of Rarity in bed at home with an icepack on her horn came back to me. “Rarity once had something like that. I was really little, but I remember that her horn was hurting her. My mom made her feel better though.”

Scootaloo grabbed the remote and made the TV go back to the channel everypony else was on. Nopony was on right now, instead there were a bunch of giant cars. I blinked and the cars were gone and instead there were these even bigger things that looked like people made of metal. “This looks weird.”

Scootaloo pressed the button John had told us changed the channel. The TV transformed from the giant metal people to people with really big noses. A blue thing with a duckbill wandered next to the big nosed people and the people started yelling and flailing their arms at it. Scootaloo sighed and clicked the remote again. “What’s up with these weird shows?”

Scootaloo clicked through several more channels and sighed and huffed at each of them. She pushed the button again and the screen went from an old mare person cooking with a lot of butter to an ancient weathered temple. Sand was everywhere and the only point of light was a small crack in the ceiling.

There was a guy standing under the light. He had a really deep stubble that was barely not a beard. His clothing made him look like he was from Saddle Arabia. Rarity liked to talk about the turbans and cloaks everypony wore there because it was so hot. The guy had this really big staff in his hand with a pretty ruby on top. The light caught the ruby and then it ran over this miniature town.

I glanced over to Scootaloo and saw that her eyes had gone as wide as dinner plates. She was grinning like she’d gotten an autograph from Rainbow Dash. “It’s just like a Daring Do story!”

“That’s nice Scoots,” Apple Bloom yawned. She moved around and got more comfortable on the bed. “I think I’m gonna take a nap, going shopping made me tired.”

I realized my eyes felt pretty heavy too. The bed felt really nice right now as well. I pulled myself up from the floor and crawled across the bed over to the pillows. “A nap sounds good.”

“You two enjoy your sleep, I’m gonna watch awesome adventures!” Scootaloo glued her eyes to the TV. I glanced over to see what the guy was doing. He was being lowered into a giant dark room filled with a ton of snakes. I may not have agreed with Rarity on a lot of things, but we both hated snakes. Her story about one Winter Wrap Up where she helped Fluttershy with them still scared me.

I snuggled closer to the pillow and closed my eyes. Before I fell asleep, I thought back to when Rarity had been sick. She still lived with mom and dad back then. I think that was the first time I’d ever been really really scared. She just wouldn’t stop crying and that made me cry too, but mom wasn’t worried at all.I didn’t really like thinking too much about it and it made me go to sleep feeling icky.

~~~

A wet tongue lapped my face and opened up my eyes. Oxford pushed his muzzle close to my face and licked me again. My bedroom door was wide open, no doubt a result of my injury-induced stupor. I glanced over to my window and saw that the sky had turned purple with faint tinges of orange to the west. “Ugh, I slept too long.”

I pushed myself off the bed and nearly stepped on Kloe. She’d been at the foot of my bed and, in my post-sleep doldrum, I hadn’t noticed her. I gave her an apologetic rub on the head and lumbered out of my room and into the hallway. The scent of crispy fried onions, baked noodles, and tuna greeted me in the hallway. My mouth salivated at the smell of tuna casserole, but I checked myself when I realized the Crusaders wouldn’t be able to eat it. I wouldn’t have another Panda Express incident.

The smell intensified as I made my way down the hall. My side didn’t hurt now, so walking got easier and easier the more my head cleared up. The casserole was atop the stove with a large serving spoon plunged into it. Mom must have just been about to dole the dish onto plates when I walked in. “John, you’re up.”

“Yeah...” Awkwardness filled the air as much as the smell of dinner. I reached back and scratched my head. “Sorry about earlier. I pushed myself too hard.”

“I just worry about you.” Mom kept her eyes on the casserole while she talked. She grabbed the serving spoon and gave generous portions to three plates. Next to the casserole was a plate full of asparagus, which I assumed would be her dinner. “Your father and I can be naggy sometimes, but we’re just looking out for you.”

“I know,” I sighed before I walked over to the stove and picked up a plate. Just as I walked away, mom added an extra dollop of casserole to my plate. That made me pause and look her straight in the eye. “A lot of things have just been going on lately and I feel like I have no control over any of it.”

Mom put down the spoon and laid a hand on my shoulder. “John, you couldn’t control what happened to you, but you shouldn’t let it loom over your life. Thank god you still have your friends, family, and you’re relatively unscathed by everything. Once your cast comes off, this will all just be a bad memory.”

If only it were that simple. I’d already divulged enough about the truth, anything more specific might get unwarranted attention. Perhaps calling Doug after dinner would help, maybe he’d even found more ponies. I smiled and said, “Thanks.”

“That reminds me.” Mom moved her hand away from me and stepped over to the small desk that was built into the wall. There was a medium sized box atop the desk that I hadn’t noticed when I’d walked in. “This came for you today. I think the sender’s address got messed up though. It said it was from Australia.”

“Oh, that.” The muscles in my face twitched with excitement and surprise, but I tried my hardest to reign them in. I needed neutrality right now or minor excitement if I couldn’t manage that. To my relief, that box wasn’t open when I set down my plate and inspected it. “Yeah, real weird thing. I ordered this One Piece wallet and some shirts off of this anime website a few weeks back, but the place operates from Australia.”

“Oooh,” mom said with that false interested tone she took up whenever I mentioned one of my hobbies. It was a sincere gesture, but the day she actually cared about what I watched would be the day I cared about her soap operas. “Can I see?”

“Eh, you wouldn’t get them anyway.” I set the box back down on the desk, picked up my plate, and sat down at my usual seat at the dinner table. The casserole smelled even better this close and my fork was right next to my hand. “Rachel and dad better get here soon, or I’ll finish dinner before they even sit down.”

Mom took her seat at the table with her plate of asparagus. “You can always go get seconds.”

“He better leave some for me too,” Rachel grumbled from the hallway. She marched over to the plates, took one, and flopped into her seat. At the same time, dad appeared from the opposite side of the room and grabbed his plate and seat.

For a few minutes, the table was silent save for the sound of crunching and biting. I cleared my plate first as I usually did when I was home and got up to get more. I scooped up more casserole and asked, “So dad, how was your day?”

“A lot of paperwork to catch up on,” dad replied between bites. “I’ve still got the Jake case to work on down in Tucson and get litigation through with Fugu’s case.”

Rachel sighed at the conversation. “Do you ever even get to go to court?”

“I do,” dad contested. “And what about you? Did you do anything today aside from making your mother drive you everywhere?”

Rachel glared at my dad. I practically saw the sparks flying between the two of them as I took my seat. “Okay, mom only drove me to Sarah’s house , so you shut up on that point. As for what I did, I finished my homework and went to the mall with Sarah and Kelly.”

Oh shit. I nearly choked on the casserole in my mouth and had to grab a glass of water. When I’d recovered, Rachel had a devious grin on her face. “Surprised John? I would be to if I saw my big bro at the mall when he’s supposed to be recovering.”

My face became a rock to Rachel’s words. My mind was a different story and played out a very colorful scenario of me smashing the grin off Rachel’s face with a plate. To my chagrin, mom and dad had taken up interest in the story and bent their heads in Rachel’s direction.

“Your brother has a broken arm, why would he go out of his way to go to the mall?” dad asked.

“Why was he with a bunch of screaming brats?” Rachel asked back. Her eyes drifted over to me. “Have an answer for either of those, bro?”

“Aside from the fact that you’re crazy? No,” I replied with the coolest monotone I could muster. I raised up my hands and shrugged my shoulders to add to the nonchalant act. “You’re saying I went to the mall that has nothing interesting in it of my own volition and that I had a bunch of ‘brats’ with me. Twilight Zone episodes are more plausible than that.”

“Knew I should have taken a picture of you. I’ll laugh when you have to explain those girls to mom and dad and then the police.”

“Enough,” dad bellowed. “Rachel, say one more mean thing about your brother and you’ll be grounded.”

“Whatever.” Rachel pushed herself away from the table and flung her plate into the sink. Before she disappeared into the hallway, she glanced back at me with that same grin that always struck a nerve with me. “Have fun with your cutie mark whatever.”

“Idiot.” I shoveled the rest of my food down my throat without saying a word. The mall just keeps getting worse and worse.

I didn’t linger long at the table after that. Doug’s package and figuring out dinner for the Crusaders were the major issues right now. I’d need to figure out some contingency plans for dealing with Rachel, too.

Inside my room, I tore open the box to look at its contents. There were three U.S. passports, four tickets, and a single credit card. The outside of the passports had the same laminated cardboard feel that real passports would have. I flipped through Scootaloo’s passport and found that paper that made up the visa pages looked quite real too, they even had those cliched patriotic watermarks. The information pages also seemed in order, but they also felt a little slick underneath my fingers. A quick glance by a TSA guard wouldn’t raise any suspicions though, especially for a trio of little girls.

I placed Scootaloo’s passport or rather “Sandra’s” passport back in the box and pulled out one of the tickets and the credit card. The card had Doug’s name on it and certainly felt real. I pulled out my wallet and stuffed the card inside.

The ticket was a multi-stop ticket, but that was expected; Sky Harbor was never a big international airport, at least to my knowledge. The trip would be through Sky Harbor, LAX, and finally the Sydney Airport. Overall, it was a sixteen-plus hour trip not including layover time.

The date was printed onto the paper in large bold letters: April 24th, 2012. The initial flight was early in the morning too, which was good for us. It would be easier slipping out of the house earlier in the morning. Getting to the airport would be another issue. I’ll probably have to call up a c—

A pounding at the window broke me away from my plans. The quick rate of the pounding sent me rushing over to the window. I got a horrible case of deja vu when I threw the window shades open and was greeted with a panic-stricken Apple Bloom. I didn’t run out of the house this time, but my heart was still racing.

Author's Note

"In this country, young girls are called 'shojou', so it makes sense that those who would become witches be called 'mahou shojou.'"- Kyubey

魔法少女スイティ☆ベル

Smack!

I first heard the noise a few feet away from the guest house. It was faint, but it still pricked up my ears. The noise was low outside, but that just meant it was all the louder inside the guest house. I kept quiet as I darted forward, the sound from the house and my own heartbeat were enough companions for me.

Apple Bloom trailed behind me, matching my pace. The panic on her face had diminished when she’d spotted me outside of the main house. She stayed silent and had only uttered a single word when I caught up to her. “Help.”

The closer we got to the guest house, the more smacks I heard. It wasn’t the sound of a door closing shut, but that didn’t alleviate my anxiety. I swung the door to the guest house open and stepped inside. This time, the smell of vomit wasn’t in the air, but it would have been welcomed compared to the current site.

The inside of the guest house was the aftermath of an earthquake, if an earthquake only effected books. The TV, the old workout equipment, and the desks were still upright, but the latter was covered in books. The shelves over the desks jiggled, and every few seconds a book would pull itself out and fall to the ground.

I’d never experienced an earthquake, but I knew that there should have been much greater damage. The books were the only things moving. I blinked and more books smacked into the desk and ground. It sent a shiver up my spine. I knew there were books falling of their own accord, but... That’s not how it works.

It wasn’t a thought, but some prick at the back of my mind, a tightening in my stomach. The more I watched the books, the more the feeling intensified. I managed to pull myself away from the shelves and over to Scootaloo. She was shivering in a corner formed by the bed and a wall, looking even worse off than I was. “Scootaloo, what’s wrong?”

“N-n-nothing!” Scootaloo shook. She raised up a trembling hand and pointed to the bathroom “J-just g-go help S-s-sweetie!”

I wasted no time and lunged into the bathroom. A clean smell that I couldn’t pinpoint filled the air, but it did sting my nose. Sweetie was there just like the night before, curled up by the toilet. This time, her hands were clenched around her head. It wasn’t her hands that brought me into a cold sweat, but the faint glow that encircled her forehead. “Sweetie!”

“Rarity! You have to get mommy! Please get mommy!” Sweetie writhed on the floor and continued clutching her head. Outside the bathroom, more books fell at a faster frequency than before.

“Sweetie, it’s me, John.” I got on my knees and leaned forward to put a hand on her shoulder. The air grew thicker the further out my hand went, like humidity without the heat or water, leaving only pressure. It took actual effort to lay my hand on her and even then it felt like I’d be repelled at any instant.

Sweetie bolted upright when my hand made contact with her shoulder. She used one arm to prop herself up, but kept one hand pressed to her head. Her eyes were scrunched up with pain and confusion. “John? You have to get my mommy! Get Rarity! Please!”

“Sweetie...” The words caught in my throat. I’d said variations of them hundreds of times by now, but saying them to a sick desperate child was different. I clenched my fist and coughed up the words. “Sweetie, I can’t. Just tell me what’s wrong. I can help.”

“No you can’t!” A whole collection of books fell from the shelves and the light in the bathroom flickered. Sweetie fell at me and grasped my t-shirt tight around the collar. “Please! Mommy knew what was wrong with Rarity when this happened to her! Find her!”

“Sweetie, calm down!” I yelled in a voice that betrayed my words. “I can help!”

“You don’t have a horn!” Sweetie screamed back. Her whole body spasmed and her hold loosened on my shirt. Her hands raced back to her head as she struggled to stay upright. My hand darted out to her side and kept her steady. Fresh tears trailed down her face and snot turned her nose bright red. “Mommy helped Rarity when her horn hurt!”

“This happened to Rarity?” I rasped. Gears turned in my brain and churned out possibilities.

“Yes,” Sweetie sobbed, “her horn hurt her when she was little and she was sick too, but mommy made her feel better. That’s... that’s why you have to find her.”

“Do you know any other unicorns this has happened to?” This question came even raspier than before. The gears were getting more specific in my head. I knew this situation: confusion, odd body functions, parental help; the symptoms were lining up and making me sweat more.

“I do,” came Apple Bloom’s voice from behind me. She was at the door watching everything unfold. She crept forward and gently laid her hands on Sweetie but kept her eyes on me. “Snails once got sick a while back and had to take a week offa school. When he got back, he was way taller and his voice was funny. He didn’t mention his horn though, he actually turned a little red when anypony mentioned it.”

“Oh.” The cold sweat on my face was now joined by a slight red tinge on my cheeks. All the pieces had lined up to give me one hell of a problem. I’d thought I’d never have to deal with this for at least another twenty-five years. I still recalled all the talks, the horribly dated videos, and the awkwardness that had hung over all of it. Now magic had been added to the mix just to add more chaos to this madness. Somehow, the next words out of my mouth were even harder to say, despite that I’d heard them thousands of times. “S-sweetie, you’ll be fine, you’re just... growing up.”

“What?” both Sweetie and Apple Bloom screamed.

Apple Bloom was on me in an instant. She forcefully grasped collar and shook my head back and forth, making my eyes swim for a second. “Growin up doesn’t hurt! How can ya say that about Sweetie?”

“It’s the only thing I can think of,” I gasped. Apple Bloom held quite a grip on my collar. I could feel calloused palms through my shirt’s fabric. “Listen, everyone... everypony has a time when they grow up really fast. That’s what happened to Snails!”

Apple Bloom let go and I slid to the ground. I caught my breath while the room turned silent. Apple Bloom clenched her fists and shook her head at the ground. “Granny sometimes talked about growin’ up too. She said ya get a bad fever that makes ya act all funny. Applejack or Big Macintosh would always tell her to be quiet though... I’m sorry if I hurt ya.”

“You were just worried about Sweetie.” I pushed myself back and tenderly reached a hand out to Sweetie’s forehead. The glow was still there and touching it sent a tingle up my arm like I’d been lightly shocked. Sweetie’s head was warm to the touch and the longer I kept my hand there, the more the tingling feeling increased until it felt like my hand was asleep. I retracted my hand after a few seconds, flexed it, and feeling returned to it. “She does feel a little warm, but if what you said about Snails is true, she’ll be fine.”

“R-really?” Sweetie stuttered. The glow on her head dimmed a little. “But it hurts.”

“Growth spurts can always be a little painful,” I explained. “You’ll get through it though. You’re a Crusader, right?”

Sweetie teared up again and clumsily wiped at her eyes with her hands. “Yeah... I am.”

The glow fully disappeared from Sweetie’s head. Her body waved and fell onto Apple Bloom, who in turn lost her balance and flopped onto the floor. Sweetie was out like a light and peacefully snoring. Apple Bloom and I both exhaled deeply at the same time.

“Is she really gonna be okay?” Apple Bloom asked.

“If it’s just a magical growth spurt, it should just be a natural part of any unicorn’s life,” I conjectured while I pushed myself off the ground and out of the bathroom. Apple Bloom chucked Sweetie’s limp arm over her back and followed after me. “Take her over to the bed, you all need some rest.”

Scootaloo looked up at us when we reached the bed. Her expression was pale in the light of the guest house and her eyes were tiny pinpricks. She jumped up when she saw Apple Bloom carrying Sweetie and rushed to their side. She looked back and forth between her friends and me. “Is she better?”

“From the sound of it, yes,” I half-lied while I pulled back the sheets and helped get Sweetie onto the bed. “Sweetie is just going through a bit of a rough patch right now, but she’ll pull through.”

“Can we get her some medicine?” asked Scootaloo.

I pulled the covers over Sweetie and stepped back. She just looked looked like a normal girl save for her hair color. Sleep had already melted away the fear and confusion on her face. “This isn’t something medicine can fix.”

I sighed and looked back at the mess of books Sweetie’s episode had created. “I’m gonna go clean the books up. Can you two just stay by Sweetie’s side while I clean up?”

“Are ya sure ya don’t need any help?” asked Apple Bloom.

I picked up the first of many books and placed it back on the shelf. It didn’t matter where it went, but getting things back in order was for the best. “Nah, you two being close to Sweetie is probably for the best right now. Things will be confusing for her and she’ll need you to get her through it.”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo nodded and I returned back to my work. The books were all dull things that mainly related to law. A parental guide to puberty and growing up would be a welcome find, but even such a discovery didn’t give me much hope. There were no books on magic, especially ones that actually dealt with magical growth spurts in unicorns turned into humans.

I reached for what was probably the tenth or eleventh book in the pile and glanced at the title: Business Communication in the Electronic Age. The title screamed dated, but it also sparked an idea in my brain. I don’t have any books, but I do have ponies.

I put the book back down on the desk and went over to the bed. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom stared at me when I smiled down at them. “I know how we can help Sweetie.”

“How?” they both asked.

“We all know a certain pony that can fix any problem no matter what it is.” I reached down into my pockets and pulled out my phone. “I think talking with Pinkie and Fluttershy will help make all of us feel better too.”

“Of course!” Apple Bloom was smiling now too. “Why didn’t I think of that? Pinkie will know for sure what to do and Fluttershy is great friends with Rarity. I’m sure they’ll be able to help.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.” I pulled up my recent call history and scrolled down until I found Doug’s number. I pressed the number and the ringtone filled the air.

“Vicky?” Doug’s voice was a quiet shell of what I remembered of it. Shoot, I probably called in the middle of the night.

“Um, Doug? Sorry if it’s a bad time, but it’s John.” I glanced over at the Crusaders. Sweetie was still peacefully asleep but Apple Bloom and Scootaloo appeared to be holding their breaths. “Listen, I’m kinda having a... oh lord, a parental emergency with Sweetie and I could really use some help.”

Silence greeted me on the other end of the line. Feet padded against the ground and wind whipped through the air in the background. After a few moments of listening, I chose to speak up. “Doug, if you can hear me, I really need yours, Pinkie’s, and Fluttershy’s help right now. Sweetie needs somepony to talk to about things and I need to know how to deal with her.”

The line stayed quiet for a little bit. I clenched the phone tighter in frustration. Doug’s voice finally returned when I was just getting ready to end the call. “What happened to her?”

“She’s...” I glanced back at Sweetie. I didn’t need a mirror to feel the flush on my cheeks or the weight of awkwardness on my back. “Well, she’s going through a magical growth spurt... I think. It’s already changed her hair back to normal, turned a tile into a plant, and made my guest house a disaster zo—”

“Sweetie’s done magic?” Doug whispered, cutting me off.

“Yes, but it’s unfocused, she can’t reign it in,” I nervously replied. “Please, can you ask Pinkie and Fluttershy to help? I don’t want her to hurt herself.”

“No!” Doug growled suddenly. The violent change in volume made me thrust my phone away from my head for a second. He was quiet for a moment, then continued in a softer tone. “No, not Fluttershy. Maybe Pinkie... but... no.” Doug’s voice became distant. He didn’t sound like he was focussed on the call anymore. “She’s dealing with too much... barely holding on.”

Doug’s words and the shaking in his voice quickened my own heart. Oh god, what if this is affecting all the ponies? Before I could say something, Doug’s voice refocused on the call. “How bad is it?”

“A-aside from what I said before...” I took a moment to gulp. “She’s got a bit of a temperature, bad headaches, and nausea that either comes up as magic or just throw-up. Apple Bloom said Snails went through something similar, so a magical growth spurt was the only thing I could think off... but if Pinkie and Fluttershy are under the weather too...” The words choked in my throat. “Doug, they aren’t all getting sick are they?”

“No, it’s fine,” Doug hastily replied. “They’re not sick but...”

I exhaled and the girls took that as a sign that they could breathe again too. I mentally slapped myself for saying such things in front of the Crusaders. I’d have a lot of apologizing to do after this call. “That’s a relief, so that makes Sweetie going through a growth spurt all the more likely. This happened to Rarity too, which is why I was hoping I could talk to Fluttershy since she and Rarity were close friends.” On the show at least.

The line once more went quiet for a few seconds. “We... can’t. Look, Pinkie and Fluttershy... we’ve got our own problems right now. I’m sorry, but I don’t have an answer for you, mate. Just...” Doug paused for a moment. “Just stick together. That’s all you can do.”

“Wait Doug! I need...”

“I’m sorry.” The line clicked off.

“... help,” I stuttered.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and dejectedly stared at it. Rage billowed up in me and the phone turned into a useless hunk of plastic and circuits. Crushing the damn thing sounded like a really good idea right now. I sunk my hand tighter around it and got ready to chuck it at the wall.

“John... is he gonna help?” Apple Bloom looked at me with soft shaking eyes. Scootaloo said nothing, but her eyes were the same.

I gritted my teeth and let it all go, my phone clunked to the ground. I shuffled over to the chair by the bed and slumped into it. I’d done runs that had left me less drained. My eyes lazily drifted up to Sweetie, at least I didn’t have to look her in the eye when I talked. “I don’t know. I think I caught him at a bad time.” That was putting it lightly.

“Oh...” Apple Bloom sighed. “What are we gonna do then?”

I rested my left arm over my knee and clenched it tight. For the girls’ sake, I needed to power through this. “We’re going to deal with this. I won’t let Sweetie hurt herself because Doug and I did nothing. We’re not completely in the dark about this.” I held up my clenched fist and raised a three fingers. “We know three things. Sweetie’s magic comes in bursts that sicken her, it's tied to her emotionaly, and it tires her out.”

“What do all those things mean?” asked Scootaloo.

“The most important thing is that magic takes energy.” I gestured a hand over to Sweetie, who was still sound asleep. “It’s just another part of the body, which means it can be trained.”

Apple Bloom’s head twisted back and forth between me and Sweetie. “How are we gonna do that?”

I ran a hand through my hair and thought for a moment. I snapped my fingers when I stumbled upon an idea. “We’ll try and get her to move stuff, small stuff. Hopefully, that’ll be all it takes to get this mess sorted out.”

“What... what if it’s not?” Scootaloo quivered.

“I’d prefer not to think that way,” I coldly replied before putting on a false smile. “Now then, I think we’ve all had a rough night. What say we get some sleep?”

“Can you stay here?” asked Scootaloo before hastily adding, “for Sweetie! I-I don’t want her to be scared if she wakes up.”

“She’s got you two at her sides, but I’ll stay.” Scootaloo’s shaking hadn’t gotten past me. “Don’t worry, Sweetie’s in the clear for now. Rest, we’ll all need strength for tomorrow and the next day.”

“Okay,” said Apple Bloom and Scootaloo at the same time. They clambered onto the bed and under the covers. Apple Bloom took up the middle of the bed with Sweetie to her left. Scootaloo went to the right side of the bed and curled up with her back to me.

I stayed by the bed, resisting the temptation to turn off the light. Instead, I leaned back and kept watch over the Crusaders. I chuckled a little when an old song and memory came to my head. They were both from so early in my childhood that they felt primordial. Christ, eighteen years old and I’m thinking of ways to help children sleep. Heh, and mom said she’d kill me if I had kids before I married. Well, at least she knew her lullaby songs.

I never had a voice for singing so I hummed instead. It was a little annoying that I couldn’t remember the name of the song, but even after all these years, I still remembered the melody. Soft, incredibly soft, the sort of sound that would calm anything down. My throat ached and my lips were numb by the time I turned off the lights and fell onto my own bed.

Sleepless in Arizona

Monday April 23, 2012

24 Hours Remain

A loud slam jolted me awake. For a second, I thought I was back in the guest house with Sweetie’s magic out of control again. My eyes readjusted to my darkened room and the haze of sleep and panic faded. A few slivers of light crept through the window frame. Outside my room, I could hear Rachel grumbling to mom about school. I swung my legs over the bed, itched my right side with a slight twinge of pain, and made my way to the shower.

The shower helped further clear my mind, but it also brought back more of the unpleasant parts of last night. Doug made me both scowl and fret. Something happened... maybe Fluttershy accidentally ate a burger.

Pinkie’s weirdness could be on the fritz too, I pondered as I stepped out into the hallway in fresh clothes. Today, there were no cinnamon buns for breakfast, so I had to make do with some Special K. At the table, mom was slowly eating some yogurt and working on sudoku while Rachel and dad were arguing about something, same old same old.

“Well, call an exterminator then!” Rachel complained.

Dad didn’t look up from his copy of the newspaper. “It might be nothing. You probably just heard your brother.”

“Oh.” Rachel didn’t just roll her eyes, but her whole head. She twisted around and glared at me. “Just add sleep-walking to his weirdness.”

“Rachel, can’t you just say good morning?” mom stressed.

Rachel jerked a thumb back at me. “Can’t he just stop freaking me out?”

“I can at least say good morning,” I sighed as I seated myself on the side of the table opposite of Rachel. I took a bite of my cereal and waved my spoon across the table. “Now, what’s all this about me sleep walking?”

Dad gave a small chuckle. “Well, sometime around three, Oxford started barking like the house was on fire. It wasn’t, but your mother and I did hear a sound from the kitchen. I got that old walking stick of mine and went to the kitchen. All I got for nearly having a heart attack was an open fridge and half of the tuna casserole gone.”

Loud hearty laughter escaped from my mouth. It helped conceal the chill that had gone down my spine. “Christ, I knew mom’s casserole was good, but damn! Does explain the fried onions in my bed though.”

“That’s disgusting,” Rachel mumbled.

“Whatever,” I replied before shoving another mouthful of cereal into my mouth. “Anyway, what’s the plan for today?”

“Work for me and your mother, and school for your sister.” Dad folded up the newspaper and picked himself and his dishes up. He rinsed the dishes off but feigned from putting them in the dishwasher like he always did, much to mom’s ire. When he was done putting the dishes away, he lightly gestured in my direction with a hand. “Rest for you.”

“Got it.” I nodded. “It okay if I go on a walk?”

Mom raised an eyebrow at me. “Where to?”

“Black Dog. I’m in town, I might as well get a chai.” I smacked my lips at the prospect of the delicious creamy beverage. There was also a nicely sized park near the cafe. On a school day, there would be virtually no one there, save for the occasional runner. I think a little detour there will be quite useful.

“I could pick it up for you,” mom suggested.

“I just don’t like being cooped up inside. It makes me...” My cast clunked against the top of the table and I threw my eyes to the ground. “... think about things.”

“As long as you don’t strain yourself, it’s probably for the best,” dad conjectured. “You need exercise anyway, and walking is the safest thing for you right now. I just wish you could take Oxford and Kloe with you. They love going on walks with you.”

Like a muppet, Oxford popped his head up over the table and looked at us. Below, I heard Kloe let out a guttural grunt. I bent down and gave her a rub on the head. “Yeah, I know.” I know that nothing calms a kid down like a cute puppy.

“He’d probably get Kloe run over,” Rachel droned. She picked up her plate, unceremoniously dropped it in the sink, and disappeared down to her room.

“Glad to see she’s her usual cheery self,” I sighed before picking up my bowl.

Mom tossed away her container of yogurt and made her way over to the sink. She grabbed dad’s plate and put them in the sink. “She’s just stressed.”

Stressed and suspicious. Over by the sink there was a window and, in the corner, I could see the guest house. Already made them eat chicken, I’ll have to apologize for tuna now, too.

~~~

The house was empty save for me and the dogs when I went outside with them on leashes. They both eagerly tugged forward, but my grip was good enough to hold them for the short trip over to the guest house. Near the door, Oxford fell behind and seated himself a few feet away from the guest house. I gave him a pull, but he didn’t budge until I yanked and he reluctantly came, resisting all the way.

I knocked on the door with my cast and waited. It slowly creaked open, revealing Scootaloo behind it. She rubbed an eye and nearly lost her balance when Kloe bounded up onto her. “Huh? Wha?” She pushed Kloe off while I yanked her back. “Oh, morning, John.”

“Morning, Scootaloo.” Oxford continued to pull against my grasp the further I went into the guest house. Kloe let out some guttural grunts and ran around in circles. I ignored them and focussed on the girl with the slumped back. “Looks like you had a little trouble sleeping.”

“No I didn’t!” Scootaloo hastily replied. She slid her hands away from her face and hid them behind her back like she’d pilfered from the cookie jar.

I chuckled, hoping to lighten up the mood. “It’s fine, you were just worried about Sweetie, right?”

“Y-yeah...” Scootaloo stuttered. Her head suddenly darted up and she stared at me with wide slightly bloodshot eyes. “S-sorry about the food.”

“Was wondering which one of you it was.” Scootaloo being the culprit at least made my worry a little less deep. “I did forget to get dinner for ya’ll last night.”

Apple Bloom walked over to us with an apple in one hand. She took a bite of it and talked with her mouth half-full. “Well, at least we had these apples in the fridge. Not quite as good as home, but your ma still grows ‘em pretty good.”

“The yogurt was nice too,” Sweetie whispered. Oxford turned his muzzle to her and pounced up onto his legs. He didn’t growl, but he was definitely alert. Kloe tilted her head at Sweetie and squeaked.

I noted the dogs’ odd behavior, but pushed it aside. Sweetie appeared much better this morning than she had last night. She’d changed out her dirty clothes and replaced them with some new ones, and she’d brushed her hair as well. It was fully back to its original color and style, but at least it wasn’t unkempt. Her face had a healthier complexion to it as well. All these things could have meant very little in the face of magic though. “You’re feeling better?”

“I... I think so.” Sweetie bent down to give Kloe a rub but she shied away from Sweetie’s hand. Sweetie frowned and stood back up. “I’m still a little scared about stuff, but if Rarity and other unicorns got through it, I can too.”

“That’s the Crusader spirit!” Apple Bloom clasped Sweetie on the back and smiled at her.

“Plus, I have an idea for dealing with your magic, Sweetie,” I said.

“You do?” all three of the girls asked at once.

“Yep.” I gestured over to the bags that still had a majority of the clothes from yesterday’s mall trip in them. “Pull on your socks and shoes. We’re going for a walk.”

~~~

The air outside held a slight chill to it, but it didn’t feel like it would hold for the rest of the day. The rising sun alone made the areas it touched a few degrees warmer than those in the shade. Just as a precaution, I’d had the girls wear their new sweaters. Apple Bloom had on a simple blue jacket that matched up with mine, Sweetie wore a white cardigan with frilled ends, and Scootaloo wore a thick orange sweatshirt. If she’d draped the hood over her head, she’d make a pretty good Kenny impersonator.

Apple Bloom also had Oxford’s leash in one of her hands. I’d offered her Kloe, since I knew I couldn’t hold both both dogs for the whole walk, but she’d insisted on Oxford. Maybe his larger size reminded her of Winona.

We turned around a corner and out onto the main street. Cars zoomed by, their owners off to school and business. I stood closest to the street as a barrier for the dogs and the girls. I trusted Apple Bloom with Oxford, but it never hurt to be a little protective.

Sweetie turned her head up at me while we walked. “I still don’t get how going on a walk will help me with my magic.”

“It’s not just the walk. We’ll go to a park and you can try doing anything you think you need to do with magic,” I explained. “The walk is also good for all of us because we’ve got a long trip tomorrow.”

“To see Pinkie and Fluttershy?” Sweetie asked.

“Yep,” I responded, “but it’ll take a bit to get there, so we need to stretch our legs today.”

“We’re not gonna be stuck in a car again, are we?” Apple Bloom complained.

“Nope.” I gave Apple Bloom a cocky grin. “We get to be stuck on a plane. Don’t worry too much, I’ve got plenty of stuff to keep everyone bu—”

“What’s a plane?” asked Sweetie.

“Oh... right.” You don’t need planes when you have a society capable of natural flight. “It’s kinda like a car, only much bigger and, most importantly, it can fly.”

Scootaloo’s legs got tangled up and she nearly lost her balance. She recovered in time to avoid a fall, but her chest rapidly rose and fell from the news. “It can what?”

“Fly,” I repeated. “Not like pegasus flight, but like an imitation of it. It’s more about going fast enough that you lift right off the ground... it’ll make sense once you see it.”

“Okay.” Scootaloo went silent once more after that.

The rest of the walk remained relatively quiet. We made occasional stops to let the dogs do their business, but, other than that, we kept walking. Apple Bloom began whistling a tune sometime during the final half of the walk. Even for a whistle, it had a very southern drawl to it. It called to mind banjos and whatever that washboard instrument was called as accompaniments. When I spotted the cafe a block away, I broached the question on the song. “What’s that tune’s name?”

Apple Bloom stopped whistling and brought a hand to her chin. “I don’t know. We sometimes sing it when we’re doing work in the morning. We sing other songs too, but that one is everypony’s favorite.”

“I like it,” Sweetie said with a grin. “Your family always has great songs.”

“Yeah...” Apple Bloom’s face drooped a little. “I guess.”

“Oh...” Sweetie’s expression tightened. She gently place a hand on Apple Bloom. Oxford shied over to me while Sweetie got closer to her friend. “Sorry, I didn’t...”

Apple Bloom reached up with her free hand and patted Sweetie on the shoulder. “It’s okay. Ma family is way tougher than all of us combined. Why, I bet Applejack is racing around, high on everypony else’s hooves.”

“I wouldn’t put it past her,” I said with a reassuring smile.

We crossed the street and and entered the strip mall the cafe was located in. Black Dog was open with its windowless and doorless entrance that let the smell of coffee and breakfast drift outside. I held a hand out to stop the girls from going in. “Hmm, not sure if they’re good with dogs inside.”

“You can bring them in!” shouted a barista from behind the counter. I smiled and led the dogs and the girls inside. Oxford and Kloe raced in all directions, save for Sweetie’s, happily running up to people before I pulled them back to us. The girls didn’t run around, but they certainly looked around the cafe, taking in the blocky drawings on the wall and the alternative music that hummed in the background.

“Thanks.” I walked up to the counter with girls behind me. All of our eyes traced over the pastries and muffins under their glass display cases, but only mine read the menu above the counter.

“They’ve got so many breads here!” Apple Bloom said with awe.

Sweetie stood on her tiptoes and peered closer at the food. “It’s just like Sugarcube Corner!”

The barista chuckled a little. “Cute, my kid likes that show too. So, what can I get you?”

“Three small chai lattes and one medium one please, all skinny.” I tilted my head over to the breads and muffins. “What foods have you got today?”

The barista’s hand glided over the glass displays. “We’ve got zucchini, lemon-poppy seed, banana-nut, and pumpkin bread; we’ve also got chocolate muffins and pecan bars.”

“I’ll have the banana-nut bread... please,” said Apple Bloom.

Sweetie’s left index finger pointed to the lemon-poppy seed bread. “Can I have that one, please?”

There was a beat of silence after Sweetie. Scootaloo’s head was slumped down and her eyes were shut. “Um, Sc... Sarah, you okay?”

Scootaloo’s head violently jerked up with such velocity that it tilted the rest of her body back. Sweetie’s arm darted out and kept Scootaloo balanced. She twirled her head around before focusing back on the food in front of her. “Huh? Oh, uh, I’ll have the pumpkin bread.”

“She could use a little espresso too,” the barista joked.

“I’ll have a slice of pumpkin bread too,” I ordered. I wasn’t lying earlier about going here if I was in town. I’d be damned if I wasn’t getting a good chai and a delicious pumpkin bread. That held especially true if it was my last day in town.

“That’ll be nineteen-eighty-nine,” said the barista after she clacked in the numbers onto the register. I dug out a twenty from my wallet to cover the charge and let her keep the small change that remained. “I’ll have your order right up.”

The barista moved away from the ordering area of the counter and disappeared behind a hodgepodge of various machines and containers. While she was at work, I turned my attention to Scootaloo. I pointed out a to a corner of the cafe where there were four large empty leather chairs. “Why don’t you take a rest over there?”

“Y-yeah... that sounds good.” Scootaloo drooped her head again and slumped over to the chairs.

“Sweetie, why don’t you join her, too?” I asked.

Sweetie nodded and headed over to the chairs as well. Apple Bloom made a move to follow, but I grabbed her shoulder. “Hey, I didn’t want to worry Sweetie, but is Scootaloo feeling alright?”

“I think she had trouble sleeping last night,” Apple Bloom sighed. “She was tossing and turning a lot and muttering about something. I got a little fed up with it and asked her what was wrong, but she said it was nothing. I felt bad afterward though. I don’t think I’d sleep well after eating a chicken either. We have so many on the farm, they’re practically family.”

And I was so focused on Sweetie that I didn’t even talk to Scootaloo. I felt like groaning, but I kept my face a false cheery. “I’ll talk to her at the park after we get started helping Sweetie.”

The drinks arrived a minute later. I picked up the tray they were in while Apple Bloom grabbed the bag full of the bread slices. We made our way to Sweetie and Scootaloo and took up the two empty seats. Scootaloo was rubbing one off her eyes while the other one twitched a little.

Apple Bloom and I set the drinks down on the small table in between the pair of chairs. I was the only one to take a drink. “Something wrong?”

“I’ve never heard of a ‘chai’ before, is it good?” Sweetie put her hands on the table and leaned over the cardboard tray of drinks. Thin wisps of steam rose out of the small drinking vents at the top of the cups. She took a whiff and breathed in the scented steam. She smiled but then scrunched up her face. Her head reeled back before it plunged forward as she unleashed a massive sneeze.

My glasses flipped up and the only thing that stopped them from zooming off my head was my thick hair. Newspapers and magazines that were on the table spread open and a few flopped onto the ground. Apple Bloom’s hair was completely blown back and left a little frizzy. I slipped my glasses back down and saw that Sweetie had shrunk into her chair and that Scootaloo’s jaw hung near to the ground. The customers all turned to look at us but quickly went back to whatever they were doing. One of them grunted about the wind.

“Lets walk and drink,” I nervously suggested.

We quickly gathered ourselves up and made our way outside. The Crusaders all took a cup and their bread slices. Sweetie carefully blew on her drink and took a small sip. “Mmm, it’s really good, kinda like warm cinnamon milk!”

“Tastes creamier than that,” Apple Bloom said after taking a swig of her own drink. She picked at the cup’s lid and popped it off with a small yelp before I could stop her. The lid clattered to the ground and we all stopped for a second. “Sorry.”

I stooped down to pick up the lid, but Kloe got to it first and happily licked the foam off of it. I pulled it away from her, relieved that I hadn’t ordered hot cocoa. The lid went into a nearby trashcan and we resumed our walk.

Apple Bloom’s eyes were now on the chai every time she took a drink, which was more frequent now without the lid in the way. A white mustache had popped up onto her upper lip as well. “It kinda looks like milk too, but it’s darker. What exactly is it?”

“You’re half-right about the milk,” I explained before pausing to take a sip of my own drink. “It’s milk and a tea called chai. Black Dog makes the best in town.”

Sweetie took another gulp of her drink and then bit into her bread. “Mmm! This is good too!”

Apple Bloom took a chunk out of her slice and swallowed it. “Granny makes her banana bread a bit better, but Sweetie’s got the right of it. That cafe person must be really talented to run all those fancy machines and bake that much by herself.”

“They actually get their food from another store,” I chucked. “Doesn’t make it any worse and they still make their own drinks.” My attention drifted away from Apple Bloom and to Scootaloo, who was at the tailend of the group. “How’s your stuff, Scootaloo?”

“It’s okay,” Scootaloo muttered. She brought her slice of pumpkin bread to her mouth and nibbled on it. The act was simple but it appeared to make her breathing a little heavier and her eyelids droop.

“When we get to the park, why don’t you take a seat on some benches?” I jerked my cast across the street. On the other side was a large rectangle of grass that stretched for quite a good distance. Its sides were lined with benches, as was the sidewalk that branched through it. In the middle of the park stood a weathered jungle gym, just as it had stood since I was a kid. “There’s plenty there.”

We walked across the road, over to the park, and stopped by one of the benches near the jungle gym. The road was a few yards away, and between it and the park’s grass was a strip of gravel. There were some nice small pebbles that would hopefully help. “Alright, here’s what I think we should do. Sweetie, I want you to try and move a pebble.”

Sweetie looked at the gravel and back at me. “But I don’t know how to.”

“Hmm...” I paused for a moment and thought over how exactly magic could work. The most I got out of it was a tiny green alien puppet. “Think of it like a third arm. Heh, hands actually help in this case. Just try to poke the pebble.”

“I...” Sweetie clenched a fist tight. “I’ll try.”

“That’s the spirit!” Apple Bloom encouraged. She and Sweetie then walked over to the gravel. They both squatted down and Sweetie narrowed her eyes onto a single black pebble.

I stayed behind and kept Scootaloo on the bench with my cast. “You need to rest.”

“I’m fine,” Scootaloo blurted out.

“You’re not,” I urged. “Scootaloo, you’ve been through alot lately and I know it’s been hard on you. I didn’t help you yesterday and now you’ve lost sleep over it. It’s not the end of the world though. Sweetie is gonna be fine and the chicken yesterday didn’t turn you into a monster, right?”

Scootaloo said nothing and stared at the ground. I was about to say something more but she suddenly grabbed at me and wrapped her arms around my torso. Her whole body shook and I felt my shirt turn wet with tears.

“Hey-hey.” I placed my cast on Scootaloo’s back and gently patted her with it. For all it was worth, Kloe also got up on her forelegs and paws at Scootaloo’s side. It didn’t help to quiet her sobs. “It’s not that bad. We all just got a little scared because we didn’t know what was happening, but now we do. Plus, you didn’t even get sick from the chicken. That’s good, right?”

Scootaloo’s hands clenched around my shirt. “You don’t understand! It’s not just that! It’s...”

I bent down and stared her in her puffy eyes. “It’s what?”

A whole wave a tears cascaded down Scootaloo’s cheeks. Her entire face looked like a tomato. My heart sped up. What if the chicken or the tuna had done something to her? “Scootaloo, just tell me what’s wrong.”

“I... I...” she hiccupped. “I saw something bad.”

“What?” It couldn’t have been something on TV, I blocked all the bad channels... even the news.

“I t-thought it was like Darring D-do.” Each word made Scootaloo shake like a leaf. Her hold on my shirt somehow tightened more. “It... it was, but then...”

Like Daring Do? What’s li— Oh no. “Scootaloo, was there a man with a hat and a whip?”

“Y-yes. I t-thought he was c-cool, but at the end... the box and the... the heads!” She fell into my shirt and sobbed again. “I turned it off, b-but it was in my dreams! I just want it to stop!”

“Scootaloo, it’s okay.” I ran my hand up and down her back to comfort her, but her shaking didn’t lighten. I’d never seen a kid after watching Raiders, but I imagined melting and exploding heads could mess them up pretty good. “It’s just a movie. I know some of the stuff you saw was really scary, but its not real. You know, I actually laughed when I found out they used a jello head to make the melting effect. Can you imagine eating a jello head?”

Scootaloo’s grip on my shirt loosened. Her sobs receded and she managed to look up at me. Her face was a mess of red, tears, puffy eyes, and snot. “S-so, it’s not real?"

“No,” I sighed in relief. “I can even show you another film the guy who played Indy was in. See? It’s just like a play. None of it’s real and none of it can hurt you.”

“T-then... what does that make me?”

Media Bias

“Err,” I grunted.

“I know ya can do it,” Apple Bloom urged.

John’s dog growled. He’d been so nice before, but now he stayed away from me and didn’t look happy. I know I’m not the best with pets, but it’s not like I stepped on his tail like that time with Opal. At least he didn’t scratch or bite me the first time I met him.

I gritted my teeth together and looked down at the collection of pebbles by my knees. There were so many of them, but I thought this tiny black one looked the easiest to move. I stared and stared and kept thinking, Move. Move. Move! It didn’t even wiggle. I imagined it tumbling to the left, but nothing happened. My eyes were so focused on the pebble that they went all screwy.

Apple Bloom bent down and looked me at my mixed up eyes, which quickly righted themselves. “Ya okay, Sweetie? Ya kinda look like the mailmare.”

“Arg!” I jumped up and sent the pebble and a bunch of other rocks flying with a buck. I stamped against the ground. Maybe dust would be easier to move. “Dumb rock!”

Apple Bloom said nothing to me. She just looked at me. “What?” I asked.

“Um, Sweetie...” Apple Bloom raised up hand and pointed at my feet. “Ya might want to look down.”

I did as Apple Bloom suggested and looked at the ground. The rocks were all a mess, but there was a weird circle of them around me that made a tiny wall. I knelt down again and examined it. It looked like the rocks had been pushed back. I sighed and sat down. My head was starting to hurt again. “This is confusing.”

“I’ll say.” Apple Bloom chose to mimic me and joined me on the ground.

“Rarity makes it look so easy! She floats stuff around all the time!” I jabbed a finger at the stupid rocks. There was one that looked just like the other black pebble. “Why can’t I just get one of them to move when I want it to?”

I kept my finger pointed at the rock, just wanting it to move, to tumble, to do something! Nothing happened. My finger and my hand fell to ground. I used both hands to get off the ground and dusted myself off. A nap sounded really good now. “I’m tired, Apple Bloom.”

“Why don’t we ask John to go back to his home then?”

✦✦✦

What does that make me?

The sentence had played through my head the rest of the walk back. It was like an infernal drum, each beat of it showing me a different speaker. Scootaloo came to mind the most, but it was easy to imagine Apple Bloom or Sweetie say it too. Sometimes, unfamiliar approximations of girls with strange hair would ask me the question. All of their lips quivered and their eyes were flooded with tears.

I’d said nothing then and I had no answer now. I’d sputtered vowels, consonants, and half-words to Scootaloo, but it was like spraying a garden hose on a forest fire. We’d both clamped up when Sweetie and Apple Bloom came back to the bench.

Questions were asked, but Scootaloo was reluctant to talk and I lied. That’s all I’d done. I couldn’t lie anymore, not to Scootaloo. Truth could have been lie and lie could have been truth; real was fiction and fiction was real. I was stuck.

I’d remained trapped all the way back to the house. Sweetie mumbled about a trying to move a pebble and I’d offered some false words of encouragement. It’s not like I could have offered any true words anyway about magic. For all I knew, I might have made things worse for her.

I opened the door to the guest house and glanced up at the sky. The sun was at its apex and just starting to drift to the west. “How about I make ya’ll some sandwiches?”

“Sure,” said Apple Bloom before she handed Oxford back to me. He happily came over to me and even embraced Kloe nipping at him. They both put as much distance between themselves and Sweetie as possible. Both of them had fervently avoided her on the walk back, even more than on the walk to the park.

Sweetie politely nodded at the offer of food and Scootaloo remained quiet. I turned around and led the dogs back inside, took off their leashes, and let them run free in the house. They didn’t do much running and, instead, went over to the couch and lied down for a nap.

I let them rest and made my way to the kitchen. It took me a second to figure out what to put on a sandwich for ponies, but I remembered I just had to exclude meat. Some bread, a few slices of cucumber, some carrot slices, and a few lettuce leaves made three decent looking sandwiches.

The leftovers went back in the fridge and I spun around to grab the plate the sandwiches were on. I nearly jumped in the air when I found someone was standing right by the counter. I hadn’t heard the door open or close. “Apple Bloom?”

“We... we need to talk.” Apple Bloom’s face was harsh in the afternoon’s light, rigid and tough. The light didn’t show off the roughness of her hands since they were clenched up. The slight tremble in them put me on edge.

“Sure, sure,” I meekly replied. “What is it?”

Apple Bloom clenched her fists tighter. Her eyes didn’t look up to meet mine. “Everypony is sad and I can’t do anything about it! I tried to help Sweetie at the park, but I don’t know anything about magic, and Scootaloo won’t even tell me what’s wrong! There’s also everypony else that’s lost and scared and I can’t do anything!”

In the middle of her rant, tears had started spilling down Apple Bloom’s face. Sweetie had sobbed, Scootaloo had cried, but Apple Bloom seethed. Her teeth looked like they would crack if she gritted them anymore.

“Apple Bloom...” My hand reached out to comfort her, but she smacked it away. The hit stung and made me suck in my breath. The area it struck instantly turned deep red and slightly swollen.

Apple Bloom retreated back from me, her eyes wide with shock. “I... I didn’t...”

I sighed and opened up the fridge to grab one of the many ice packs dad kept inside. The pack made my skin prickle but it beat having a welt on my arm. “No, Apple Bloom, get it out of your system.” I glanced over to the kitchen table. “We do need to talk.”

We both took seats at my insistence. Apple Bloom wasn’t clenching her teeth anymore, but her hands were still shaking. I took a deep breath before I managed to speak. “I’m sorry. I’ve tried to make things better for all of you, but I just can’t get things right. Maybe things will change tomorrow with Pinkie and Fluttershy, but I’ve still been unable help.” I jerked a thumb at my chest. “That’s my fault though. You can’t be blamed for this and you shouldn’t think that way either.”

“But Sweetie and Scootaloo are ma friends! I can’t just stand by and watch them get hurt!”

“You haven’t,” I contradicted. “You’ve stood by them and done everything you can. We need an adult pony to help her and we’ll get that tomorrow. Scootaloo... it’s my fault she’s like that.”

“Why?” Anger lanced Apple Bloom’s voice once more. My head ached a little at the memory of last night’s minor throttling.

What does that make me?

My lips locked up. I was going to break another little girl. All because of a damn childrens’ show. The kitchen clock’s tick-tick was a deathly silent toling. I couldn’t take it and the words spilled out. “Because I don’t know where you came from!”

Apple Bloom stayed silent and raised an eyebrow at me. “What are ya talking about? We came from Equestria.”

“I know, but the problem is...” Each word was a knife, poised to cut both me and Apple Bloom. “... is that if Equestria is real, what’s to say other places aren’t real too?”

“So?”

“Places like...” My fingers dug into my leg. “... bad places. That’s what Scootaloo saw and... I afraid she’s right. I can’t say those places aren’t real without saying she’s not real!”

“So?”

“‘So?’” Apple Bloom still wore the same confused look on her face as before. “Apple Bloom, I want to help Scootaloo but no matter what I say, it’ll hurt her.”

“Now look here!” Apple Bloom slammed a fist onto the table. “Maybe there are places where bad things exist, but ya can’t be scared of them! Ya sound just like Applejack when she was scared of Zecora! I knew I should have just talked to Sweetie in the first place!”

“I know, it’s ju— what did you say?”

“I said ya sound just like Applejack when she was scared of Zecora!”

“That’s it!” Apple Bloom was in my arms in an instant. I quickly put her down and rushed off to my room to grab my computer. She was standing in the same spot when I got back. “C’mon, we’ve got some explaining and then lunch to do!”

We both darted outside, with Apple Bloom trailing behind me. “What the hay are ya doing?”

“Trying to fix things!” I busted into the guest house and was greeted with silence rather than yelps. Sweetie slowly rose from the bed and rubbed her eyes. It took me a few second to find Scootaloo. She was hidden in a corner and staring at a wall, but she might as well have been staring at nothing. I was over to her in a blink and opened my laptop.

“What are you doing?” Scootaloo mumbled.

“I’m going to show you that you’re real, but that doesn’t make the stuff you saw real.” My fingers danced across the keyboard, logged me in, and pulled up YouTube. A few more clicks and I had what I needed. “That was just a movie you watched yesterday, and I’ll prove it!”

“Ho—” A school bell interrupted Scootaloo. My computer now showed a brightly colored schoolhouse, out of which, two familiar fillies appeared. “You’re... showing us?”

“He is?” Sweetie slipped out of the bed and over to us. On-screen, she and Scootaloo were discussing Featherweight getting his cutie mark. “I remember this. This was the time with the newspaper.”

“You’re showing us that?” Apple Bloom fumed. “Ya even have that? Great, now everypony knows how stupid we were!”

“I know,” I sighed, “but I want you to watch closely.”

So, we all sat and watched. Everyone groaned at Diamond Tiara, but went silent once “Gabby Gums” showed up. More groans followed soon after the silence.

“Hey!” Apple Bloom complained. Applejack was on-screen and pointing to a picture of herself asleep. “None of us took that picture!”

“We did do that story about cider and eggs though,” Sweetie murmured.

“Yeah, but I’d never say ma sister was lazy!” Apple Bloom replied.

Scootaloo jabbed a finger at my computer. Dash had replaced Applejack and the new photo was her at the spa. “And I’d never say Rainbow Dash was anything but awesome!”

“I...” Sweetie watched Rarity pull the dramatics on having her diary revealed. “I’m sorry.”

“This is making us look even worse than it actually was!” Apple Bloom yelled. Her eyes went up to me. “What’s the point of this?”

I couldn’t help but smile at little at the Crusaders’ reactions. “What you’re doing is the point. Feel free to stop me when things get too out of control.”

The episode continued. Sweetie’s cheeks turned bright red when her confrontation with Rarity was shown. After that, all three of them nodded when they watched themselves confront Diamond Tiara and threaten to quit.

“Great, now everypony has seen those embarrassing pictures too,” Scootaloo huffed.

“At least it’s almost over,” Apple Bloom sighed. The screen went to black for a brief second to indicate where a commercial break had been and then the Crusaders were back. They were trotting along a dirt path before they spotted Dash on a cloud and asked if she’d heard any gossip lately. “Wait... that didn’t happen.”

Dash then flew down and used the cloud she was on to send a rainburst down on the Crusaders. Scootaloo’s eyes narrowed and her lips turned down. “That definitely didn’t happen.”

“Really?” I coily asked. The video paused with a click of my finger. “What did happen then?”

“Well...” Sweetie squirmed a little on the ground. “Diamond Tiara did try to show those pictures, but Miss Cheerilee stopped the newspaper before we could make more articles. We all had to write huge apology letters to everypony we’d written about, everypony on the newspaper was given two weeks detention, we and Diamond Tiara got an extra week, and Diamond Tiara was banned from any club leadership for the rest of the year.”

“Miss Cheerilee is scary when she’s mad,” Apple Bloom shuddered. Her eyes went back to the screen. “That’s why this is confusing. Why would we be asking for gossip if there’s no paper? I mean, we were all way too happy when it was done. We embarrassed ourselves and everypony else enough.”

“So Dash didn’t yell at you then?” I asked.

“No way!” Scootaloo crossed her arms in resentment. “She was a little mad when we got photos of her preening, but we said it showed what it took to be such a good flyer!” She slunk back down and undid her hands. “We still should’ve respected her privacy though.”

“So, you’re saying what we watched wasn’t real? That things were very different?” I suggested.

“Yes,” Scootaloo hesitantly replied, taking on a note of a slightly giddy tone. “I’m actually surprised Miss Cheerilee didn’t stop us even before that. We could have really hurt somepony’s feelings.”

“Fluttershy,” Apple Bloom squeaked.

“We still apologized!” Scootaloo turned her head up to me. “We all still apologize in the end, right?”

“Yes, everything gets worked out in the end. Although they make up some stuff about Twilight being so mad she put up a forcefield and Applejack and Big Mac yelling at Apple Bl—” The rest of my sentence was cut off by an apple getting shoved into my mouth. Apple Bloom used enough force to get the fruit wedged onto my upper teeth. How she got the apple so quickly was lost to me since said apple was making me choke. I clawed at and quickly dislodged it, taking a deep breath as a I did. Apple Bloom glared at me while I recovered.

“Nopony goes around insulting ma family!” Before I could say anything else, Apple Bloom reached out and forcefully shut my laptop. I could only pray it hadn’t been severely damaged. “That show gets everything wrong about us! I’m surprised they even got our names right! Who knows what else they’ve lied about? I’m gonna find ‘em and... and...” Apple Bloom noticed we were all staring at her, Sweetie with a hanging jaw, and slumped down. “Aw, forget it. They’re too dumb.”

“I... I guess they are dumb.” Scootaloo let out a fit of giggles. “Then again, it’s not like they really know us... it’s just a show, after all.”

Scootaloo’s words took a massive weight off my shoulders. I leaned back against the wall and sighed, feeling tension escape with it. “Yeah, it’s just a show and it gets stuff wrong.”

Scootaloo picked up on my relief. “I guess all shows get stuff wrong, right?”

“Some might even be completely made up too,” I replied. A thin smile crept across my face. “I never did tell you about the show with the fancy froo-froo schoolgirl who only cares about boys named Scootaloo, did I?”

“What?” Scootaloo shouted before seeing my grin. “You’re mean.”

“And ya’ll are hungry,” I replied before pushing myself off the ground. The girls all seemed to have a bit of warmer glow to them, but it felt very fragile to me after everything this week had thrown at me. “I just wanted to clear everything up and make sure you were in a good mood. I know ya’ll have been through alot these past few days and its been tough on you. Sweetie, I promise we’ll have Pinkie and Fluttershy help you when we leave tomorrow. Apple Bloom, don’t forget that you’re the one who got Discord off our tail. Scootaloo, if anything ever scares you again, just tell me, okay?”

“What are you talking about?” Scootaloo playfully waved her hand in my direction. “Like a bad movie would scare me.”

“Hey.” I darkened my face a little. “Don’t call Raiders a bad film... save that for Crystal Skull and Temple.”

“T-there’s more?” Scootaloo quivered.

I only smiled and turned back to get the sandwiches. A few minutes later, the girls were all enjoying their simple meal. I’d also snagged myself what was left of the tuna casserole and heated it up in the guest house’s microwave. Apple Bloom and Sweetie’s eyes looked at it with suspicion while Scootaloo’s went wide with interest.

Sweetie lifted up an arm and covered her nose with the sleeve of her cardigan. “That stuff kinda smells like Opal’s food.”

I awkwardly scratched the back of my head. “Um, part of it is fish... sorry.”

“It’s...” Scootaloo paused and wiped off some drool that had accumulated on one corner of her mouth. “It’s not that bad.”

Apple Bloom stared at Scootaloo and then at the steaming casserole. She shrugged and bit into her sandwich. Sweetie continued eating her food in silence.

“Um... anyway,” I said to break the awkward moment, “we’ll be getting up tomorrow and heading straight to the airport, so after this we’ll need to pack everything up.”

“Got it,” all three of the Crusaders replied. I smiled in return and dug into my food. Scootaloo still glanced at it from time to time as the amount of casserole shrank. After a few minutes of this, I relented and shoveled some of the remaining food onto her plate. Judging from her smile, I’d given her the equivalent of a million bucks. She somehow managed to finish the casserole and her sandwich faster than me.

After lunch, I slid back into the house to return my laptop and grab two suitcases that no one would noticed missing. I lugged them outside and prayed they’d be able to hold all the girls’ stuff. The suitcases thudded to the floor in the middle of the guest house. “Alright, lets get packing.”

All three of them nodded and went over to the bags of the clothes and the pile of dirty clothes they’d made since arriving at the guest house. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom scooped up the clothes in heaps, while Sweetie neatly stacked them. The former two dumped their clothes into the suitcases and Sweetie set it down in a neat pattern. “Um, Sweetie? Why don’t you help me sort things out? Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, how about you bring everything over here so we’re not walking back and forth between stuff.”

I’d tried to put the request as nicely as I could, but Apple Bloom and Scootaloo still frowned at it. I’m pretty sure Scootaloo mumbled something about “Cutie Mark Dry Cleaners.”

Sweetie, on the other hand, was a folding master. She’d already taken Apple Bloom’s pile and turned it into an organized set of clothes within the suitcase. The set barely took up any room at all. She’d give mom a run for her money. “I’m amazed that organization hasn’t gotten you a cutie mark.”

“Oh this?” Sweetie folded up a shirt in one fluid motion before moving onto another one. “I’m just used to it since I spend so many weekends with Rarity.”

“Hmm, the show never really said that much,” I pondered aloud.

“Really?” Sweetie asked while she continued sorting things into the suitcase. “Well, mommy is a really big tennis mare, so she has to go to a lot of tournaments that are all over the place. Plus, daddy’s her coach.”

“I see.” The words were drawn out by an increasing sense of confusion. Today’s little meta disaster had made MLP quite the unreliable source of information. I’d need to share that with Doug if he hadn’t found that out already.

“Um...” Sweetie’s voice drew me out of my distraction. She’d stopped folding stuff. “They didn’t do anything weird with my parents on that show, did they?”

“Well, they never said exactly what your parents did,” I explained. “All we got was a scene of them eating some breakfast and saying they’re going on a vacation for a week.”

“You mean mommy’s conference?” Sweetie corrected. “What about the Hearth’s Warming Festival? Or the Summer Sun Celebration? Or April Foal’s?”

The last one made me raise an eyebrow, but it wasn’t hard to guess what it was. I shook my head back and forth to Sweetie’s questions. “Sorry, no sign of them at any of those things. I didn’t even know about the last one until you mentioned it.”

“But those were so much fun!” Sweetie grabbed a pair of shorts and haphazardly folded them and threw them into the suitcase. I scooted the pair into a proper place and went back to the other clothes.

Scootaloo dumped some more clothes over by me, but didn’t go to get more. I glanced up and saw that there were at least two more handfuls of clothes she could get. “Do they ever say anything about my parents?”

“You know, fans actually debate that,” I chuckled. “They’ve never shown your parents on the show, so people think all sorts of crazy things about them. One time, I even heard this story about how you’re Celestia’s kid.”

“Me?” Scootaloo tripped over her own legs and fell on the ground. I scooted over and helped her up with my good hand. Apple Bloom and Sweetie were both giggling, both at my words and the fall. “Someone thinks I’m Princess Celestia’s foal? I look nothing like her!”

“That’d be like saying Princess Luna is ma mom,” Apple Bloom joked. She saw my eyes unassumingly drifting up to the ceiling and dropped her clothes. “Ya have got to be kidding me.”

“Fine-fine, I am on that one,” I smiled. “They haven’t shown your parents either. Kinda weird. Only Sweetie and Twilight’s parents have been shown.”

“Lame,” Scootaloo huffed. She trucked back to the clothes and scooped up another pile.

~~~

Dinner had an ethereal feel to it. Coming home for college always had that feeling, but in those cases, I knew where I’d be going after coming home. In twenty-four hours, I’d be on the other side of the world with no clue as to how long I’d be there. Coming back to the States would be a nightmare, too.

I glanced up from my plate and over at my family. I’d been too distracted with packing to ask what mom was making for dinner, so while I enjoyed corned beef, I was a little distraught that all I’d give the Crusaders would be the leftover salad. I’d have to raid the fridge for something more substantial. Dad was absorbed in eating his food, but mom didn’t miss my glance. “Something wrong, John?”

“Just thinking how odd it is that I’m home in the middle of April,” I mused before turning back to my food. Dad is probably gonna tear me apart whenever I get back... thank god I’m not underage or he’d probably get me sent to juvie.

~~~

For once, I didn’t run out into the guest house. Instead, I carefully balanced a bowl of leftover salad atop a box of frozen pizza. I stepped inside and was delighted that the neither the scent of vomit or the sound of crying greeted me. Instead, I found the Crusaders gathered on the floor with cards in their hands and a large disorganized stack of cards in between all of them. “Whatcha playing?”

“Go fish,” Sweetie answered.

“This is rigged.” Scootaloo had no face up cards at her feet. Apple Bloom had a set of threes and a set of sevens, while Sweetie had a set of fives. “You and Apple Bloom get all the good cards.” Her eyes spotted the box. “What’s that?”

“Pizza.” I stepped over to the kitchen area and dialed in the proper heat for the oven. “It’ll take a bit to make, so keep going at your game. Salad is ready to eat whenever.”

“I call pause for salad,” Scootaloo said a bit too eagerly. Apple Bloom and Sweetie smiled and put their cards down. They all made their way over to the salad but kept their eyes on the cards. How they expected any of them to cheat was beyond me.

The Crusaders chipped away at the salad while I waited for the oven to heat up. I slid the pizza in once the heat reached a proper temperature. While the pizza warmed up, the girls resumed their game. Scootaloo couldn’t keep her face straight due to the hard losing streak the beginning of the game had handed her. Apple Bloom fared better and was stacking up cards quite well. Sweetie was the real contender though. Her face was a confident mask that only betrayed her winning, which showed with her continual addition of new sets. Her eyes would quickly flick over to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom and gauge their faces and hands. She’d probably play a mean game of blackjack.

The oven dinged in the final act of their game. Scootaloo had made a turnaround and she and Apple Bloom were evenly matched in sets of cards. That mattered little in the face of Sweetie’s sets. Neither of them could turn around the game, but they were apparently playing down to the last card.

The promise of pizza ended that idea though. Both Apple Bloom and Scootaloo quickly got up and just happened to kick both of their sets into a chaotic mess. Sweetie huffed and set her cards down. They all eagerly watched as I made quite an entertaining show out of getting the pizza out. In lieu of oven mitts, I used a set of hand towels I grabbed from the bathroom that did little to keep my hands from turning bright pink from the heat. “Let it cool for a few minutes,” I said between blowing on my hands.

“Truly a college meal,” I chuckled once the pizza was cool enough to cut. Said cutting was done with a breadknife from the tiny silverware collection kept in the guest house. The slices were jagged at best. At least I hadn’t burned it.

“Ya know, I never really thought about it till now, but this is a lot like a sleep-over.” Apple Bloom took a piece of pizza and made herself comfortable on the ground. She chewed it a lot before swallowing it. “I... I think I like Ponyville’s better.”

“Not the best thing, but it gets you by.” I handed off two more slices to Sweetie and Scootaloo before taking my own piece. We all settle down next to Apple Bloom. “So, you’re all ready for tomorrow?”

“Uh-huh! We got clean and got clothes ready!” Sweetie said between bites of pizza. With a free hand, she gestured over to three neat stacks of clothes. The faint fruity smell in the air and the pajamas the girls wore was enough indication of the former.

I smiled and took another bite of pizza. “Good.”

We made quick work of the rest of the food. I cleaned up and the girls picked up the cards they’d left behind. When everything looked as ready as it could for the next day, the girls snuggled into their bed.

“All good?” I asked.

“Yep,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah,” replied Sweetie.

“Well...” Scootaloo fidgeted around under the covers.

I pulled out the chair for the desk and took a seat by the bed. “How about I tell you one of my favorite stories?”

“Oooh...” Sweetie’s eyes shimmered a little. “What’s it about?”

I leaned forward with a mischievous smile. “The once and future pirate king.”

“So it’s the story of the pirate with the greatest chest?” Sweetie asked.

“No!” I stammered. “Ugh, I don’t know what Rarity had on pirates, but it was not that. For you see, the pirate king obtained wealth, fame, and power. His name was...”

~~~

“... and they sailed away, leaving the man with a giant afro who was trapped in a treasure chest to happily live on the island with his animal friends,” I yawned. “I think that will do it for tonight.”

“Can’t you tell a bit more of the story?” Scootaloo pleaded. “They aren’t even close to the treasure!”

“Heh, they’ve only just made it up to the halfway point,” I chuckled. “And I’ve been reading this story since I was your age.”

“No way. There’s no way a story can last that long.”

“Ah, but it does give me a bunch of bedtime stories to tell. They seem to have done the trick.” Scootaloo remained the only one awake of the trio, but even her eyes had begun to droop. “Get some sleep. It’s gonna be a long day tomorrow.”

“Okay...” Scootaloo pulled the blankets closer to her face. “If... if I have nightmares...”

“Then you just laugh at them in the morning,” I interrupted. “Remember what I said earlier? About The stuff in the movie being gelatin? Now imagine the bad guy’s head turning into a giant bowl of jello.”

Scootaloo smiled at the sweet and unusual punishment I’d given to the villain. Her lips became a neutral line in a short order though. “There’s something else about the nightmare... something that wasn’t in the movie.”

“Was it Sweetie or Apple Bloom? Me?” It wouldn’t be a long shot for any of us to have been dragged into Scootaloo’s nightmare. Rainbow Dash wasn’t low on the list either.

Scootaloo shook her head. “No, it was somepony I didn’t know. I didn’t actually see her, but it sounded like she was scared too.”

“Maybe you just imagined yourself in the dream?”

“Their voice sounded nothing like mine or anypony I knew.”

I reached out and tussled Scootaloo’s hair with my good hand. “It was just a nightmare. Lots of strange things can happen in nightmares. Just remember, they can’t really hurt you.”

I moved away from the bed and over to the door. With a flick of the switch the lights went off. “Good night, Scootaloo.”

“Good night, John.”

I closed the door and tiptoed back to the house. Inside my room, I double-checked and triple-checked that everything was ready. My laptop was charged and ready for the flight and loaded with enough movies to hopefully last the trip, and my wallet was filled with bills I’d gotten off the credit card; I’d taken as much as I could without arousing suspicion. The tickets and passports were safely stowed away in my backpack, along with my own passport that I’d nabbed from my family’s record books. Everything seemed in order.

There were only two things that remained before I went to sleep. I hunkered down at my desk, grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen, and began to write. It was a short letter, but less detail was better here. I folded it up and set it on the table. It’d be easy to find in the afternoon when mom got back from dad’s office.

The second task was even easier. A few clicks on my phone and a taxi would be here by seven thirty in the morning. Tasks complete, I plugged my phone in and moved away from the desk. My alarm would do the rest in the morning. All that remained for me was sleep.

I undressed, turned off the lights, and fell onto my bed. I couldn’t tell if it was giddiness or worry that kept me staring at the ceiling for some time. It was always like that with me and trips, but things were upped this time. No matter what, things were going to be very different after tomorrow. Eventually, my eyes must have closed because the alarm felt like it came all too soon.

Author's Note

Yes, I didn't make the part about the man with a giant afro stuck in a treasure chest living with a bunch of animals on an island up. One Piece is just freaky like that.

That's not even bringing up the real big one of, "A kung-fu tanuki, a robot, a woman in a bikini top in the freezing cold, a guy carrying a decapitated talking head, and a bunch of giant children. All of which burst out of a giant supposedly abandoned factory, raise up their arms, and yell, 'Super!'" When people within your own series call you out on weirdness, you know you're in your own tier.

Oh, I had this chapter written before finding out about the TVtropes thing. That was just a nice bonus to today!

Also, I really do dislike Ponyville Confidential. It's incredibly mean-spirted and goes against the overall message of friendship in the show. Twilight put up a damn force-field. I remind you, forcefields have so far been used on: Discord, Changelings, and the CMC only. WTF?!

Rocket Mare

April 24, 2012

Departure Day

Mom,

You’ll probably be the first to get to this and I’m sorry about that. Me being gone will probably scare the hell out of you. I can’t tell you how sorry I am for the lies I’ve told for the past few days, but you wouldn’t believe me if I told you the truth. All I can say for now is that I know what really caused the attack at my school and I’m trying to find a way to prevent it from happening again. Don’t bother trying to find me. Also, sorry about the credit card withdrawals, I’ll work however long dad wants me to when I get back. Tell Rachel and the dogs that I love them. Hopefully, I’ll be back soon.

John

Long after dad had left for work and ten minutes after mom and Rachel left for school, the Crusaders and I were on the sidewalk in front of my house, waiting. A black medium-sized car appeared from the off of the main street and came to a stop in front of us. I’m convinced yellow cabs don’t exist in Arizona. The passenger seat window rolled down, revealing a gruff aged man with a wispy mustache. “Bacanti?”

“Yup.” The driver slid out of his seat and opened up the back of the car. We all made our way back and helped load up the back.

Apple Bloom decided to pick up one of the larger of the three suitcases, but the driver reached out to stop her. “Woah there kid, you’re too young to throw out your back.”

“I got it.” Apple Bloom ignored the driver’s offer and chucked the suitcase into the back with a thud. Given my arm, I was glad for the driver’s help with the other two suitcases.

The driver shut the door and spun around back to the front of the car. “That sister of yours has got some strength to her.”

“Thanks,” Apple Bloom said with a grin.

“Eh, she has to make up for mine.” I opened up the door for the girls to get into the back seat, shut it, and took my own place in the passenger’s seat. We were off from my house in an instant.

“Where ya flying off to today?” the driver asked.

“L.A.” I partially lied.

“Fun... if you don’t mind the traffic,” the driver joked. He jerked a thumb back at the girls. “It their first time flying?”

I couldn’t resist glancing back at Scootaloo. “Uh, no.”

“Ah, they’ll get to go through the joys of security,” the driver sarcastically droned. “Sorry, kids.”

“Why?” Sweetie’s voice carried a slight tremble to it. To my chagrin, I remembered a time a certain pony had gone “flying” and nearly ended up a smear on the ground. That’s not even considering what I watched and what really happened.

“Nothing too bad,” I assured Sweetie and the other Crusaders. “Mostly just standing in a line. I’ll handle most of it, but you’ll have to take off your shoes and jackets.” At least here they won’t be checking the passports.

“Sounds weird,” Scootaloo commented. “I get that the clothes would weigh us down, but wouldn’t we take them all off if we need to fly?”

The driver guffawed. It was a testament to his skill that he kept driving straight and a relief to me. I’d have probably veered at such a question and jumped in my seat at it. “Geez, it really is these kids’ first flight! Sweetie, you take off anymore than what they ask for and your brother might get in trouble.”

Sweetie shifted around and lunged forward to look at the driver. “Hey, I’m Sweetie, she’s Sco—”

“Yes, Sally, you’re a sweetie, but so is your sister. It’s just a compliment,” I interjected.

Apple Bloom raised up an arm and rested it on her head. “I’m confused.”

The driver smiled at our little comedy routine. “Sound like ya’ve got the proper mindset for the airport. It’s confusing enough just driving people here and there, but what else are people in Arizona gonna use a cab for?” He glanced up at the rear-view mirror and his smile faded. “Er, darn tailgaters. Of course it’s a teenager. No offense, but kids your age need to work on their driving.”

“Eh, you should see some of my friend’s dri—” A buzzing in my pants cut me off. Knew I forgot something. Getting out of the house, I hadn’t taken the time to turn off my phone. It wasn’t too much of a setback and, for the morning, it would keep anyone from getting suspicious. I pulled out my phone and let it buzz for the amount of time that it would probably take me to wake up, get over to my table where the phone charged, and picked it up. I didn’t like that it was Rachel calling, but mom was probably the one driving her to school today. I clicked the answer symbol and put the phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“You bastard, what the hell are you doing?” Rachel hissed.

“Rachel!” mom shouted. Evidently, I was on speaker mode on Rachel’s phone. “Don’t you dare talk to your brother like that! Now you turn this car around right now!”

Oh, that’s not good. “Morning to you too. Has my sleep now become offensive to you as well?”

“Don’t give me that crap, John,” Rachel replied. “I can see your damn head from my car and I saw you when we pulled out from Black Dog.”

“Oh, you saw me yesterday you mean?” My hand clenched the armrest like my life depended on it. In truth, we had passed Black Dog on the way to the airport since it was impossible to avoid if you were going west from my house. I glanced up at the rear-view mirror and was met with mom’s white SUV tailgating the hell out the cab.

“No you stupid asshole! I see you right now!” It wasn’t difficult to see Rachel yelling into the bluetooth system her phone was hooked up to in mom’s car. We were on a two lane street and in the left lane. There were two cars to the cab’s right that prevented Rachel from pulling up next to us. I needed her gone now. “I also saw those kids in the cab! I knew you were hiding something!”

“Damn it, Rachel!” mom cursed. “You get back to school this instant! Your father is going to tear you apart for this once I’m done! Now hang up and give me your phone!”

“No!” Rachel yelled back. “Mom, he’s been lying to you this whole time! As soon as these damn cars move, I’m going to prove it!”

“All you’ll prove is that I’m back at home, confused and getting annoyed,” I huffed. One of the cars on my right had turned at a stoplight. Up ahead loomed another stop, one that the cab would have to turn left on. The road we’d be going on had three lanes instead of two, too much space for Rachel to maneuver the car. I glanced back up at the rear-view mirror and then the buttons above them. The cab had skylight.

My hand went over the phone for a second and I twisted my head over to the driver. “It’s a little stuffy in here. Mind if I open the skylight?”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t.” While he talked, I’d already moved my finger up to open button, which slid the glass back. “But you’re not listening.”

“John!” Rachel screamed for the phone. “Who are you talking to? I heard voices!”

“That’s it!” mom screeched. “Rachel Bacanti! You pull over right now! Right now!”

“I’d listen to her, Rachel.” I pressed down on my seatbelt and lept up.

“What the hell are you doing?” the driver bellowed.

I ignored him and popped out through the skylight. The wind whipped at my hair given the speed the cab was going. It was easy to make out mom’s car now. Rachel had a death grip on the wheel and a maddened look in her eyes. Mom was incredibly red and shouting at Rachel while Rachel in turn was shouting into her phone. “Cellphones are dangerous when you’re driving! Sorry mom!”

Whatever Rachel said next into the phone, I didn’t hear due to my phone rocketing out of my hand. It sailed over the cab and right into the front window of mom’s car. There was a loud fwak and my phone turned into a scramble of metal, electronics, and plastic. At forty miles-per-hour, it also managed to put an impressive crack in the window.

I couldn’t see Rachel’s face because of the crack, but I was able to see her arms flail against the driving wheel. Mom’s car careened to to the right and crunched into another car. I didn’t stick above the car to see the rest. The driver yanking on my shirt probably helped my descent back into my seat as well.

“You idiot!” he roared. His face looked purple. “I oughta take you to the police for what you just did!”

“Not if you want triple pay, plus a generous bonus!” I jabbed back. The Benjamin I pulled out of my wallet did the rest. “Deal?”

We came to the stoplight where we had to make a left turn. The Crusaders’ heads switched between looking at the mess I’d caused and the driver. The driver firmly gripped the wheel and stared ahead. The turn arrow became green and he snatched up the bill. “I didn’t see nothin’, I didn’t hear nothin’.” He glanced back at the girls. “Unless I hear it’s something involving them or I get a squad car on me.”

“Got it.” I turned back to make sure the Crusaders were okay. All of them were looking back at the accident. An additional car had hit mom’s bumper, but other than that, no one else seemed to have been involved in the actual crash. That meant little considering I had blocked off the entire right side of the street with my stunt. I averted my eyes from the wreck and focused on the girls. “Ya’ll okay?”

“That wasn’t very nice of ya,” said Apple Bloom. “Ya coulda really hurt your sister and your ma.”

Sweetie picked up her knees and hugged them. “I knew these things were dangerous.”

Scootaloo stared back at the wreck and then at me. She raised up her arms and shrugged her shoulders. “Dash probably woulda done the same thing, only cooler.” She flattened out her hand and shot it straight up and whooshed it around in front of her. “She’d zoom into air, land on the car, deliver a super-cool one-liner, and jump off right before the bad guys would go up in a huge explosion!”

Proper words mulled around in my mouth for a second. “Sc— um, Samantha, you didn’t happen to watch any other movies over the past few days? Any ones with a giant guy and a funny voice?”

“No, just that one movie... why?” Scootaloo asked.

“Nothing, nevermind.” I waved away the line of discussion with my hand. The day I tell a pony about Arnold or Stallone is the day I die. “Anyway, sorry about that, but Rachel would have ruined our chances of making our plane.”

“That’s bad... right?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Very bad,” I answered. “Planes can get delayed anyway and that throws off your whole schedule. Plus, there’s all the lines. It’ll be fine once we get through those though, I promise.”

~~~

I stepped out of the cab and exhaled deeply. No cops had showed up to pursue us. The smell of gas, people taking one last drag of a cigarette, and cheap AC swirled around us. I always did love the smell of the airport. Despite the earlier issues, the driver seemed to have taken well to my “tip” and went to the back along with us to help us unload. He said nothing and quickly hefted the bags onto a curb. He remained quiet, got back into his seat, and sped off.

Sweetie raised an arm up to her face and covered her nose with her cardigan. “This place kinda smells.”

“Come on, this might take a bit.” We didn’t linger on the curb and entered into the terminal. I scanned the numerous airlines and eventually spotted the one that was listed on the tickets. I was about to take a step in that direction when I remembered just how daunting the sheer size of the airport was to me as a I kid. “Girls, hold hands.”

“Okay!” they all hurriedly replied. We all linked hands and marched over to the airline counter and the line that awaited us. People hustled and bustled around us, transporting all sorts of luggage.

“This place is even busier than the train station at Canterlot,” Sweetie said with awe. Her head was swirling around in every direction, and she probably would have walked straight into a wall if it weren’t for our joined hands. “Are all these people going somewhere?”

“Or coming.” We came to a stop at the airline and joined the end of the line. It stretched back a few rows and it looked like we’d be here for a few minutes. I released my hand and took hold of one of the suitcases the Crusaders had taken for me. “Airports are very busy places with people coming and going all the time. That’s why we need to stick together; it’s very easy to get lost here.”

An especially loud plane flew in from above. We couldn’t see it since the checking and baggage claim was a story below the landing strip and the only view outside was to the arrival and departure lanes for cars. The girls’ eyes practically rolled to the back of the heads. They clutched each other close and looked in all directions for the source of the sound.

“W-what was that?” Apple Bloom stuttered.

“A dragon?” Sweetie squeaked.

“An Ursa Minor?” Scootaloo quivered.

“A plane,” I explained before going onto one knee and looking at the girls. “Sorry, I should have warned you that they can be really loud. Sometimes, they can even make your ears pop, but I’ve got gum to deal with that.”

“Wait!” Apple Bloom shoved a hand into my face. “That was a plane? Ya want us to get on that? I can understand cars, but that thing was definitely a monster!”

I sighed and got back on my feet. The line had inched forward anyway and I didn’t want to hold it up. “It’s not a monster. Do any of the people here look scared? Don’t worry, once you see the planes you’ll understand.”

The girls stayed close to each other all the way to the front of the line. At the counter, an assistant waited for us, but I knew first I had to scan the tickets in. “Mr. Bacanti, Sybil Adams, Sasha Adams, and Arya Adams. Flight from Phoenix to LA and LA to Sydney, Australia. Will you be checking bags today, sir?”

“Yep.” I clamped a hand around one of the suitcases and hefted it onto the scale. It came out to below fifty pounds, which I was heavily relieved at. I repeated the process two more times and the assistant tagged each one of the bags. The Crusaders’ eyes flicked back and forth between the bags, me, and the attendant.

“All right,” said the attendant once the last bag was checked and off on the conveyor belt. “Your luggage will be delivered to Sydney where you can pick it up. Further details will be given at your arrival. Your departure gate is A27. Have a nice trip.”

“Thanks.” I turned away from the check-in counter, grasped Apple Bloom’s hand and led the girls over to the escalator. I may have been transporting three ponies-turned-human across country lines, but only one thought came to my mind. We must look strange with no carry-on bags. It’ll make security go faster, at least.

Upstairs, I made a beeline for the A gates. The security line was light, but that was to be expected on a Tuesday morning. It didn’t stop me from halting the girls before we got in line. “Okay, this is the part where we have to take off our shoes and jackets.” I gestured up the front of the line where three TSA agents looked over tickets and schedules before sending people to get their bags scanned and they bodies x-rayed. “You’ll just have to go through the gates up there and wait for me once you get through it.”

“Got it,” said Scootaloo while the others nodded.

We got in line and waited. The line moved at a regimented pace and we were up to the agents in short order. I pulled out the tickets and my driver’s license for the agent I went to and kept my hand on Scootaloo’s back to keep the girls close. The agent glanced at the tickets and my ID and scribbled on them before sticking a hand out to one of the x-ray lines. LA will be the real issue with the passports.

We walked over to one of the lines and I pulled out a few bins. “Alright girls, this is the part where you take off your shoes and jackets.”

They listened and handed them off to me. I followed with removing my own jacket and shoes plus my belt, backpack, wallet, and keys. A brief moment of panic hit me when I searched my pockets for my phone and came up with nothing, then I remembered I’d shattered it on mom’s windshield. Remembering that made me groan a little, but I sucked it up and led the girls over to the x-ray machine.

Scootaloo was at the front of the line and stepped past the yellow waiting mat straight up to the machine, but was stopped by a TSA agent’s leg blocking her path. “Hold on. You’ll be up in a second.”

Scootaloo huffed and waited until the agent removed his leg and let her through. Another agent had to stop her from walking straight through the machine and had to show her the correct posture to take. I made sure Sweetie and Apple Bloom paid attention so we didn’t delay the line. “Just watch what they’re having Scootaloo do and you’ll be fine.”

“This seems pretty silly,” Apple Bloom commented.

Sweetie watched as the two bars in the x-ray machine swung around and scanned Scootaloo. “What’s that thing do, anyway?”

“It sees through you,” I explained. Scootaloo’s scan finished and Apple Bloom was led through to the machine. “It scans your body and makes sure you aren’t hiding anything.”

“Isn’t that a vio... a veealay... an invasion of privacy?” asked Sweetie.

“Oh, more than you know,” I joked, “but sometimes bad people try to bring bad things onto planes. This is the only way to check.”

“Oh... so it’s like Mr. Armor’s shield spell?”

The question slightly took me aback. If what was in the season finale was at least partially true, then Shining Armor’s spell was in fact very similar to getting scanned at the airport. Thinking about it made me wish airports just had a giant bubble that wouldn’t let terrorists in. It would certainly save time. In my pensive state, I hadn’t responded to Sweetie before she was ushered into the machine as well.

A sudden thought gripped me as she assumed the arms-over-the-head position in the machine. What if her magic messes up the machines?

I watched with wide eyes as the bars circled around Sweetie and kept my focus on her when it was my turn to step up. Inside the machine, I watched as the TSA agent on the other side waited to get the scan results and then let Sweetie through. I released I breath I realized I’d held as I stepped out of the machine and waited for my own result.

“Sir, I’m gonna need to you step aside,” said the TSA agent. My heart lept into my chest. What is it? Sweetie? Did mom or dad call the cops on me? What?

I silently obeyed and stepped to the side where the agent could question me. It’s not like I had a choice in the matter, I’d already taken too much of a risk with the car accident earlier. There was no way I was getting past the TSA.

“Sir, when did you get this cast?” the agent asked while pointing a finger at said offending article.

“Last week... on Tuesday,” I stuttered. Are you serious?

“Okay, I’m gonna need to take a swab of it to make sure you aren’t carrying any dangerous weapons or chemicals on you.” The agent grabbed a swab and stroked it over my cast. She dropped it into a machine, read the screen, and looked back at me. “You’re good to go, have a nice day.”

“Thanks.” For almost giving me a heart attack. I sped away from the agent and back over to my stuff, which had accumulated in a pile at the end of the luggage x-ray belt. The Crusaders had already pulled on their shoes and jackets again, leaving me to be that guy who held up security at the airport.

Apple Bloom bent down and secured her right shoe onto her foot. “What happened?”

“They were just worried about my cast.” I shoved my wallet and keys into my jeans, put my jacket and belt back on and slung my backpack over my shoulders. “It always happens when you’ve got a cast or other medical issue at the airport. Now lets get some gum and get to our gate.”

I took the lead in the group once more and showed the girls down the long hall that led to the A gates. Windows lined the hall and those moving floors were at the sides of the hall as well. I chose regular walking since having the floor move under them on top of everything else might have been too much for the girls.

Another plane rushed down onto the landing strip and garnered all the girls’ attention with its screaming engines. It wasn’t too large of a plane, probably similar to the one we’d be taking to LA.

“Whoa,” Scootaloo gaped. Her grip slackened and she drifted over to a window. Her eyes traced the path of the plane landing, but widened when she saw another one take off. She spun around and wildly jabbed her hand at the plane that quickly became a spot in the air. “It flew! It flew! That was so cool!”

“How the hay did it do that?” asked a stunned Apple Bloom. “It was bigger than a barn!”

“It wasn’t even flapping its wings!” said Sweetie.

“Yeah, but you saw how fast it was going, right?” Scootaloo grinned.

I glanced up at one of the many clocks that dotted the hall. We still had half-an-hour to go before our plane departed, so I found no harm in letting the girls watch a few more lift-offs and landings. After a third plane took off, I placed a hand on Scootaloo and my cast on Sweetie to encircle them. “You’ll be able to watch more planes at the gate, but we need to get some stuff before we get on.”

I ushered the girls down the remainder of the long hallway and into the corridor that held our gate, a cheap news shop, and about a dozen expensive restaurants.

As we stepped into the news shop, Scootaloo turned her head up to me. “So, how do planes work if they don’t flap their wings?”

“They go super fast, that’s why they’re so loud.” I went over to a rack of cheap watches and picked one up. It was the only thing I really needed save for the gum, which was at the register anyway. “It’s their engines turning so fast and their jets flaring up.”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow. “Jets?”

“Hmm...” Explaining flight was proving to be a bit harder than I expected. As I spoke, I picked up a packet of gum and laid it and the watch on the checkout counter. “You’ve seen fireworks before, right?”

All three of them nodded.

“Imagine using the fire from a firework, only bigger and for a real long time. That’s what a jet engine is like.” The cashier rung up the watch and gum and I gave her twenty bucks to cover it. Once I got my change back, I quickly strapped the watch onto my good arm.

“But what about the wings then?” Apple Bloom pointed out.

“For steering and keeping the plane in the air and balanced,” I answered. “You have to make a lot of careful movements in order to keep a plane airborne, it’s why wings have little flaps on them to make tiny corrections to flying.”

Scootaloo scratched her chin. “It kinda sounds like flying... why don’t the wings flap like a pegasus’s though? Wouldn’t that work better?”

“People tried that a long time ago,” I chuckled, recalling silly novelty rides at the renaissance faire. My eyes went over to the an ATM sign. Cover’s blown, might as well go out with a bang. “It didn’t work. We had to try a lot of different types of planes before we found one that worked.”

“That sounds really hard,” Apple Bloom. The ATM took in my credit card and I hastily typed in the pin number. I said a silent prayer of forgiveness and typed in a one and three zeros. “Whoever made planes must've been really smart.”

“It actually took a pair of brothers.” The ten Benjamins came out of the ATM and into my wallet. I took the card back and stuffed it in my wallet as well. It was just plastic now. “They probably almost got themselves killed more times than I can count.”

“Flight 284, Phoenix to LA, your plane will be open for boarding in a few minutes,” a voice blazed over the intercom system.

“That’s us.” I grasped Sweetie’s hand this time and the girls all linked their hands too. It was a short trek over to our gate where a line had already formed. We stood and waited along with everyone else.

Sweetie clenched my hand to get my attention. “What do you mean, ‘almost got themselves killed’?”

“Oh...” I playfully waved my cast at Sweetie and the other Crusaders. It wasn’t hard to tell that they were holding their breaths. “Well, it was hard to figure out flight, but once the brothers did it became much safer. People first made planes a hundred years ago and we’ve only been making them better since then.”

“Seating group three,” said the attendant at the desk.

The line lurched forward and I moved the Crusaders along. We entered the narrow walkway that led to the plane. A faint chill filled the hall to combine with the scent of recycled air, fake leather, and cheap fabric. Sweetie saw the gap between the plane and the walkway and gulped. I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and smiled. “It’s okay.”

Sweetie closed her eyes and slowly put a shaking foot onto the plane. Her other foot followed in a half-step half-jump. She landed and hit my leg with enough force to knock me slightly off-balance. I had to grasp at a wall to avoid barreling into a stewardess. Said stewardess gave me a glare and I hustled the girls along. Luckily, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom had less trepidation about getting on and quickly joined us on the plane.

We shuffled back until I spotted three empty seats on one side of the aisle and one seat on the other side. “Here.” I ushered the girls into the empty row and took my own seat opposite to them.

Sweetie took the window seat, Apple Bloom the middle one, and Scootaloo the aisle. Apple Bloom snuggled into her seat and automatically clicked on her seatbelt. “This isn’t too bad... it’s just like a big car.”

Sweetie lurched forward and turned her head left to look past Apple Bloom and out the window. “I was wondering what those holes were.”

Scootaloo imitated Sweetie and stared out the window. “That is pretty cool.”

“Wait till we’re in the air.” I undid the wrapper on the gum package and pulled out three pieces. “Take these, you’ll need them for your ears.”

Scootaloo was the first to open the foil on her piece. She pinched the ends of the gum and tore it in half before raising the pieces up to her ears.”

“No!” I called out. “You chew it.”

Sweetie raised an eyebrow. She’d done the same with her piece of gum as Scootaloo, as had Apple Bloom. “You said it was for our ears.”

“Chewing it will help your ears unplug when they pop. See, when you go into the air real fast in a plane, the pressure changes and it makes your ears get clogged. The gum helps to unclog your ears when you chew it.”

The Crusaders gave me blank stares in response. I leaned back in my seat and sighed. “Just chew it. Trust me, you’ll thank me in a few minutes.”

All three of them shrugged and popped the gum into the mouths. The final passengers took their seats and the cabin door closed. The stewardess from before came to the front of the plane with the intercom in her hand. “Attention passengers. We have shut the cabin door and will be departing shortly. Please bring your attention to the front of the cabin so that we may direct you in the proper safety procedures.”

I sighed again and made sure my backpack was securely under the seat in front of me. The lack of carry-on luggage was a boon since it would have taken an eternity to get it into the overhead compartments. The stewardess continued the old spiel, brandishing a seatbelt and an oxygen mask when necessary.

The Crusaders soaked in every word of the safety instructions. They craned their necks and leaned forward to watch the stewardess. Bill Murray stepping onto the plane and re-enacting Ghostbusters would get less attention from them. When the stewardess finished, they all fell back into their seats and looked at me.

Sweetie was the first to speak. “There sure are a lot of things that can happen to a plane.”

“Yeah,” said Apple Bloom. “They’ve got life-jackets, masks, and even emergency exits. I think Pinkie is less prepared for disasters.”

“People all have a lot of worries,” I explained. The plane bumped back and taxied onto the runway. “Plane owners want to make sure people feel safe, so they put every single precaution they can onto their planes.” Note to self, never ever mention Airplane to the Crusaders.

“First time flying?” asked the middle-aged man next to me. A woman, who I assumed was his wife, was next to him in the window seat. Somehow, she’d already conked out and was slightly snoring.

“Yeah... you know how kids can be,” I replied.

The man smiled at us. “Oh, I remember when I took my daughter on her first flight. Course, she was much younger than them and wailed like a baby, but at least we didn’t have all the security lines back then. She was happy when we got in the air. Loved the clouds.”

Scootaloo’s eyes lit up. “You get near the clouds?”

“Well, of course,” the man chuckled. He glanced to the window. We were lined up and the engines were spinning to life. “Now you kids keep your head straight and get ready to fly.”

Before any of the Crusaders could say anything else, the plane accelerated. It raced forward with its engines blaring throughout the plane. Apple Bloom grasped her hand to her ears as Sweetie leaned over to hug her, and Scootaloo put a death grip on her arm rests.

Don’t scream, don’t scream, don’t scream! I mentally prayed. The plane climbed higher and higher, and the Crusaders’ various holds tightened. Finally, after a tense few moments, the plane began to level out. I timidly reached across the aisle and prodded Scootaloo. She flinched as her whole body shook. “Hey-hey, it’s okay. It’s over.”

Scootaloo responded with flailing clenched fists at my arm. “That! Was! Scary!”

“Scoots...” Apple Bloom pushed Sweetie off of herself and tapped Scootaloo on the shoulder. With her other hand, she jerked a finger at the window. “Ya might want to look outside.”

Scootaloo growled and turned around. Her eyes went wider than dinner plates. She undid her seatbelt and pressed her face up the glass. “We’re so high!”

The stewardess was on us in an instant. “Sir, please get your sister into your seat.”

“You heard her,” I said to Scootaloo. “Or you can trade places with Amanda.”

“Please!” Scootaloo pleaded to both me and Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom nodded, undid her seatbelt and traded places with Scootaloo.

The stewardess gave us one last glare before going back to the front of the plane. Scootaloo pressed her face to the glass and was lost to the world. I sank back into my seat and pulled out the skymall magazine. Sweetie coughed and pounded her chest. “I think I swallowed my gum.”

“Sorry about that. Are you ears okay?” I asked.

“The feel like they’ve got water in them,” Sweetie complained.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out another piece of gum. “Here ya go. Everyone else okay?”

“Yeah, sure-sure,” Scootaloo droned.

“I’m okay,” Apple Bloom replied. Her eyes drifted down to the magazine in my lap. “What's that?”

“This?” The cover of the magazine had a kid next to a life-size R2D2. I flipped it open and showed her a random page filled with knick-knacks, lawn ornaments, and a few “high-tech” machines. “It’s a magazine that you can order pretty much anything from. They have all sorts of stuff.” My finger went to a giant wall hanging that was filled with empty boxes. “Like this, it’s the world’s largest crossword puzzle.”

“Whoa,” Sweetie and Apple Bloom both gawked.

“Rarity would love that,” Sweetie commented. “She does them every morning in the paper... never finishes them though.”

“What’s this thing?” Apple Bloom reached across the aisle and pointed at a “revolutionary new migraine reducer.” The thing looked like a combination of sunglasses and some medieval torture device with blunt points that went into your eyes.

“Uh... it says it helps with headaches, but it looks really painful,” I answered.

“Oh!” Sweetie reached forward and pointed at a k-cup coffee maker. “What’s this?”

~~~

We were about halfway through the skymall magazine when the final descent message came out from the intercom. We handed off the empty cans of apple, cranberry, and orange juice that we’d all had to drink to the stewardess who was collecting trash. Luckily, the trash stewardess wasn’t the same one as before. She gave the girls a smile and took their trash and mine before moving on.

The man next to me gave a chuckle as I put the magazine back in the seat pocket. “That has got to be the most interest I’ve ever seen in that magazine.”

“I can’t believe they make that much stuff for your feet!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“I can’t believe they make so much stuff, period!” said Sweetie.

“Oh!” Scootaloo’s grin widened. “We’re getting closer to the ground! This is so cool!”

All of us stared at her for a second before bursting into laughter. Scootaloo reddened and crossed her arms. “S-shut up! It’s not that funny!”

The plane touched down a few minutes later and we stepped out into LAX. The California day was bright and clear, which put a smile on my face. We got out of our gate and grabbed each others’ hands again. “Now to get to the international terminal.”

Said terminal was on the other side of the airport. We jogged outside and got onto one of the inter-terminal buses. On the bus, Apple Bloom looked up at me. “Are we going to see Pinkie and Fluttershy now?”

“No,” I answered. “That plane was just to get to this airport. The next flight will take us to Pinkie and Fluttershy.”

“Why couldn’t we just take the plane we were on?” asked Scootaloo. “It flew us to wherever this is.”

“It’s not built that way.” The bus came to a stop at the terminal we needed and I led the girls off. “There are many different kinds of planes. The one we were just on was meant for shorter distances.”

We passed through a pair of doors and I turned to my left. A sign over a hallway indicated the correct gate we needed to get to. We marched down it and took our place in another security line. “The one we’re going on next is meant for longer distances. It’s actually kinda fun. You get food and some movies to watch.”

That was the most I could sugarcoat the experience. I slung my backpack around and pulled out all the passports and the tickets. My wallet followed and Doug’s credit card joined the pile of flight documents. We advanced upon the TSA agent and I took a deep breath. Okay, last hurdle.

“Passports, tickets, and credit card please?” the agent called out. I listened and handed him all of it. I heard a nearby clock ticking as the agent shifted through the papers, stuck tickets to passports, examined the credit card, and finally stamped all four passports. “Move along.”

“Thanks,” I exhaled before pushing the Crusaders along. I’d done it. I had managed to slip through the system and was on my way to Australia. I placed my backpack onto the scanning belt and the girls followed me in placing their shoes and jackets on it. We all stepped through the x-ray machine once more and out the other side. I didn’t really mind, I was in the clear. Well, that was easy.

On the other side, another TSA agent looked at my x-ray scan and back at me. “Sir, I’m gonna need you to step aside to check your cast.”

Well, every plan has its bumps.

~~~

The plane reminded me of the time I traveled to England: wide aisles, three rows of seats, and a good amount of legroom. It looked promising for now. We were even lucky enough to have the middle row, which meant we were all together. Apple Bloom took an aisle seat, I took the one next to her, Scootaloo sat next to me and Sweetie occupied the other aisle seat.

Apple Bloom reached out and grabbed one of the magazines in the seat pocket. “These are different from the ones on the other plane.”

“Yep.” I grabbed my own magazine and opened it. It was the airline magazine; a glance at the contents page revealed it was filled with tourist trap articles on various areas of Australia. My eyes did spot one section that interested me though, the in-flight movies. I quickly flipped to the near-back of the book and showed it to the girls. “Lets see what movie they’re playing.”

I read through the page and my pupils shrank into pinpricks. The first in-flight movie was some recent Jim Carrey family flick that looked meh. It was the second movie that made me hold my breath. It was a very simple title, only two letters, but it was bad, real bad.

“John?” Sweetie peered up at me. “You don’t look good. Is something wrong?”

I breathed in deeply and focused. “It’s... well... the film they’re gonna show is really sad at the beginning. It’s a really good film, but you don’t have to watch it if you don’t want to.” I pulled out the headphones from the seat pocket. “You listen by plugging these things into that little hole in your armrest.

“However...” I reached into my my backpack and shuffled my hand around. Out of the pack came my hand and three Nintendo DSs of various size and color. “I’ve also got video games.”

Apple Bloom’s jaw dropped. “On those tiny things?”

“Yep.” I clicked on my 3DS and showed it over to Apple Bloom. “See? I’ve even got a game on it you’ll love. It’s called The Legend of Zelda...”

~~~

“Arg!” Apple Bloom cried out. She shut the lid of the 3DS and stuffed it into my chest. “That big jellyfish critter doesn’t play fair!”

“Oh, now come on, Apple Bloom.” I opened up the 3DS to see what the trouble was. On-screen, Link was passed out with a game over sign hanging over his head. “I know Barrinade is hard, but it’s worth it. Beat him and you’ll get a great new weapon.”

“Well... that triforce thing does sound pretty interesting... and I don’t want the bad guy to win.” Apple Bloom reached out and snatched the 3DS back. “I’m gonna try one more time.”

“I’m here if you need any help.” My slightly dry mouth was a testament to that. The first hour on the plane had been spent explaining just the DS alone and how playing it worked. Once that was settled, I’d moved on to showing all the girls how to play the actual games. For Sweetie and Scootaloo’s games, it’d been easy to explain the basics and I only needed to check on them from time to time. Apple Bloom was a different matter, since parts of Zelda relied on the dialogue. Damn that stupid owl and his text wall to the blackest pits of hell. On that, Apple Bloom and I agreed, even if her angry button mashing at the bastard had only exacerbated the issue.

Apple Bloom went back to getting up to the boss again and I turned my attention over to Sweetie and Scootaloo. “And how are ya’ll doing?”

“Great!” Scootaloo replied. She flashed her screen in my direction. The screen showed a roster of four tiny sprites. One looked like a bird, another like a turtle, a third like a cricket, and a final one like a manhole cover. “My Turtwig got stronger and now looks even more awesome! I even managed to beat the second boss guy!”

“My Chikorita is so happy,” Sweetie sang. “It loves going on walks with me. I bet it will get stronger too, just like Scootaloo’s pet.”

“You have to battle other monsters to get stronger, Sweetie,” said Scootaloo. She didn’t even look up from her game.

“No, not my Chiki!” Sweetie clasped the DS to her chest like it was a kitten. “This is the first pet I’ve had that hasn’t wanted to kill me. I’m not gonna let her get hurt.”

“Wait... pull up your menu.” Scootaloo abandoned her game for second and peered over onto Sweetie’s screen. Sweetie’s roster was empty save for her starter pokemon. Scootaloo glanced at the screen and grinned. “Sweetie, your Chikorita’s a guy.”

Sweetie blushed deeply and turned back to her game. “Fine! I’ll show you! I’m going to make my Chikorita the best Chikorita there ever was!”

I nefariously smiled and decided to play devil’s advocate. “You know, you can go to a Poke-Center and fight each other, right?”

Both Sweetie and Scootaloo’s eyes widened, only for them to narrow as they glared at each other. Scootaloo smirked. “It’s on.”

“Just give me a little time to train,” Sweetie bargained.

“Fine,” Scootaloo chuckled. “I want a good fight anyway.”

~~~

“John...” Apple Bloom moaned. “I don’t wanna play the lullaby anymore. Make it stop.”

“Okay,” Scootaloo huffed at Sweetie. “We’ll fight again when we reach level forty. This time, I’ll beat you with with my Gabite.”

“Don’t you dare,” Sweetie hissed. “You’re worse than Ms. Whitney.”

“Who do you think I learned the trick from?” Scootaloo grinned.

I simply played music on my computer and prayed the charge would last long enough on all the devices. Outside, twilight was taking over the word. A glimpse down revealed nothing but ocean; that’s all it would be for the rest of this trip.

So far, the trip had been quite successful. The Crusaders had been engrossed in their games and my guidance had helped them through the tough spots. It was difficult to not curse at Whitney though when I was helping Sweetie. Other than that, my little challenge to Sweetie and Scootaloo was going swimmingly. They both strived to outdo each other with every battle and it had rewarded them with some quite powerful pokemon.

Apple Bloom, in the meantime, had conquered the first part of Ocarina and had struggled into the Water Temple. Of course, I’d made it a strong point to highlight Epona. Apple Bloom traveled everywhere with the horse and had stayed at Lon-Lon Ranch for quite some time just listening to the music. She’d raised up a hand to rub her eye and I told her she could stop playing if her eyes hurt. She’d sighed and put the 3DS down for a bit.

Dinner had come a little after that, so a break was needed anyway. Scootaloo managed to eat the meal, but Sweetie and Apple Bloom had a little more trepidation. I’d apologized since there was nothing else to eat and their stomachs’ rumbling was a good argument in my favor. They’d moaned throughout it but were able to choke it down. As soon as they finished, they went back to their games, with me standing at the sidelines to assist when necessary.

~~~

It was black outside now. In front of us, the large screen that separated coach from economy was filled with the ending credits of one of the in-flight movies. It wasn’t the Jim Carrey film and was unfamiliar to me, so it might have been a local Australian film. The cabin was dark as well and all around me, people were asleep.

Sweetie and Apple Bloom had their seats reclined back and their eyes shut. Sweetie’s mouth dangled open and a few snores escaped out of Apple Bloom’s. I shut my computer and looked at the in-flight movie screen. It was black now but quickly lit up again. I reached into my seat pocket and pulled out my headphones.

“So why is the movie sad?”

I flipped my head up and stared at Scootaloo. I’d forgotten that she was awake too. “Oh, well, it starts off with a boy finding a very pretty girl and they like each other a lot. So, they love each other, get married, and grow up. Then...”

“Then?”

“They get old,” I sighed. “One day, the girl is a fragile old lady and she gets sick...”

Scootaloo twisted her eyes to the ground. “She doesn’t make it, does she?”

I stayed silent. “Scootaloo, it’s late, you should try to get to sleep.”

“It’s fine... it’d be weird to sleep while I’m flying anyway. Dad always tells me how you have to be careful when you’re flying.”

“Oh yeah?” I saw a chance to turn the discussion away from Up and seized it. “What are your parents like, anyway?”

“My dad works for the weather patrol,” Scootaloo explained with a smile. “Before Rainbow Dash showed up, he was the one in charge, but he hurt his wings a while ago and decided to let Rainbow Dash take charge instead.”

“Neat.” I leaned over in my chair, eager to hear more. “Sorry about his wings, but that’s pretty cool that your dad was so important to Ponyville. What about your mom?”

“Mom...” Scootaloo’s throat twitched a little. “Mom also worked on the weather team. Dad said that’s how he met her. Apparently, she was even faster than Rainbow Dash.”

“Oh, can she not fly that fast anymore?”

“She can’t fly at all.”

I blinked. “What?”

Scootaloo pulled her jacket closer and stared straight ahead. “A long time ago, a really bad storm came out of the Everfree forest. Dad and every other pegasus in Ponyville tried to stop it, but it was too strong. A lot of ponies got hurt... including mom. She was at home when it happened. At least, that’s what dad says. When the storm passed, mom’s wings were both really bad, so dad had to fly her to the hospital. That’s when I was born and mom never flew again.”

“Scootaloo...” I reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Mom says it’s not my fault, but every time I look at her wings...” Scootaloo stopped and sniffled. “You have to promise you won’t tell Rainbow Dash. She’ll think I stole my mom’s wings.”

“That’s not true. Scootaloo, I’m sure your mom would say she’d rather have you than her wings any day.”

Scootaloo reached up to her face and rubbed her eye. “That’s what she says, too.”

“Hey.” I flipped open my computer again. “How about we watch a different movie? I think my computer has enough juice for that.”

“Do... do you have anything funny?”

“In fact, I do.” I clicked through iTunes and pulled up one of the movies in my library. “Since we’re meeting Fluttershy, why don’t I show you another animal lover? Plus, I need to make up for that other Jim Carrey movie.”

“Um, what?”

“Just watch, you'll like it.”

~~~

Scootaloo’s head slumped against my arm. On-screen, Ace had just uncovered Finkle’s identity and was using a plunger to recover from the horror of it. I chuckled and let the movie keep playing. Around me, the Crusaders slept soundly. No nightmares, no magic spikes, and no sudden monstrous strength. For now at least, things felt on track. In a few hours, we’d be one step closer to getting the ponies home.

End Part One

Finale of Solitary

Author's Note

The climatic conclusion of part one! Jesus, this is my longest chapter that is part of a greater story... no, I'm not counting Set Adrift.

Man, I hope I didn't miss anything. Anyway, hope you all enjoy this one year anniversary chapter. Ponyfall enters a new stage next time!

Connect

Something nudged against my cast. My eyes flopped open. My chest felt like it was weighing down my lungs and my back felt like it was glued to the seat. Images of Jim Carrey and shutting my computer came to mind as the last things I remembered. The scratches on the back of my laptop indicated that I’d used my cast to close it. With droopy eyes, I looked over to what was nudging my cast.

“John,” Apple Bloom half-mumbled, “I gotta go use the outhouse.”

That fully woke me up. My arms flailed around my waist to unbuckle my seatbelt and I managed to get it off and stand up. The rapid shift from sitting to standing sent the blood straight to my head and I had to grasp at the armrest to avoid falling flat on my face. Apple Bloom let out a giggle at my expense. “Ugh, come on, lets get you to the bathroom.”

I led Apple Bloom from our row out to the aisle. The entire cabin was darkened, but the light strips on the ground guided us ahead. As we walked, Apple Bloom turned her head up at me. “How exactly am I gonna go if we’re still in the air? Actually, I should probably ask Scootaloo about that... what with pegasi flying all the time.”

And that is a conversation I am staying far away from. We reached our destination and, to my shock, there wasn’t a line to the bathroom, but it was currently occupied. I sighed and stationed Apple Bloom in line and waited behind her. The door opened and the previous user shuffled out.

Apple Bloom inched forward and looked into the bathroom. Her eyes went over the small sink and the equally small toilet and then back to me. “How the hay did they get an outhouse on a plane?”

“Science,” I muttered and gave her a friendly push into the tiny room. I stuck my head and hand inside and gestured to the door lock. “Slide this to lock the door... everything else should be like a regular bathroom, okay?”

Apple Bloom nodded and I went back into the small alcove the surrounded the restroom. While I waited, I took the chance to do one of my favorite pastimes on a long distance flight: staring out the emergency hatch window. It was the only window on the plane that didn’t have a blind on it no matter the time and no one by it to get annoyed at you for peeking through it. When books, music, games, and movies failed, the hatch window was as good a distraction as anything else. Plus, it gave me an idea of if we were near our destination or not.

Outside, half of the world was changing from an amorphous blackness to light pink and blue dotted with ripples and clouds. At the head of the plane, ocean and sky still met at some indeterminate point, each so black that we might as well have been in space. The view from the tail of the plane was a different story: a shimmering orb of light encased in a pink glow with rosy fingers emanated from that direction. Now is that morning or dusk I’m seeing?

Before I could further ponder the sun’s position, I was startled back to the inside of the plane by a commotion coming from the bathroom. I rushed over just as the door swung open and a befuddled Apple Bloom stubbled out. She rushed over to me and grasped hard at my leg. “It tried to eat me! It tried to eat me!”

“Whoa whoa! Slow down.” I bent down on a knee and got to Apple Bloom’s level. “What happened?”

“W-well...” Apple Bloom’s face turned a slight red. “I was just finishing up, but when I pulled the flush thing that... that thing tried to eat me in one gulp!”

“Oh...” A look of comprehension sparked across my face. “It just does that to make sure there isn’t anything sloshing around. Think about when we took off, you wouldn’t want to have a full bathroom during that, right?”

The red on Apple Bloom’s face turned into a sickly green. “Just forget it. I don’t wanna talk about this anymore.”

“Sounds good. But ya still gotta wash your hands.” I pushed myself off the ground and held open the door for Apple Bloom. She darted in, slammed her hands against the faucets to get it to turn on, jabbed her hands under the water, and sped back out of the bathroom and to her seat. I chuckled before closing the door to use the bathroom as well.

Apple Bloom was on the floor by my seat when I got back. My backpack was at her knees and my 3DS was in her hands. Her hands flicked the on switch but she only got a red light on the power light for her efforts. She heard my footsteps and frowned at me. “It’s not working.

I bent over and grasped the 3DS away from her. “It’ll need to charge.”

“Phooey.” Apple Bloom got back on her feet and shuffled back into her seat. “I just got the boss key. I was finally gonna get out of that horrible place.”

My seat greeted me as well, but just as I had clipped on my seatbelt, I sensed something to my left. I twisted around and was met with a flight attendant staring me straight in the face. The man had contorted his body to stretch over Sweetie and Scootaloo while he managed to carry a large platter of what looked like orange juice in small cups. Everything about the guy seemed a little too smooth: his beardless cheeks, the shimmer in his skin, and his stepford smile all greatly unnerved me. After a moment of him just leering at me and Apple Bloom, words with a thick Indian accent slipped out of his mouth. “Would you like some juuiiiccceeeee?”

“N-no thanks,” I stuttered, unsure how to respond to such a bizarrely voiced request. It sent a shiver down my spine. For a second, I thought I might have still been dreaming.

Apple Bloom and I both sighed in relief when the strange flight attendant backed away and went on to terrorize some other poor soul. When he was out of hearing range, she turned to me. “So... what do we do now?”

“Well...” I scratched my chin and considered my options. “If your DS is dead then the others probably aren’t in much better shape either.” My good hand rapped against the top of my laptop. “I want to keep a little bit of a charge on my computer in case we need it for something. Oh! Would you like to look through the flight magazine? It can tell you all about Australia.”

“Okay,” Apple Bloom smiled. I reached out and grabbed the fat magazine from the seat pocket and flipped it open to the contents page. A large picture of the man in scuba gear next to a massive mound of colorful coral formed the background of the contents page and the back of the cover page. Apple Bloom’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates. “Whoa, what is that?”

“A thing called the Great Barrier Reef,” I explained. “Think of it like an undersea forest.”

“That’s amazing! I’ve never seen anything like it!” Apple Bloom paused for a moment and narrowed her eyes at the picture. “Wait... this whole place ain’t underwater, right?”

That got a hearty laugh out of me. “No, it’s not underwater. It—”

A loud slam interrupted me. To my left, a piece of luggage had fallen from the overhead compartment and clunked against the ground. Two flight attendants instantly rushed over and leaned over to the passengers that were awoken and bewildered by the crash. Amidst the disarray, Sweetie nuzzled her head against her seat. “Muh... all stacked.”

My body tensed up a little as the scene unfolded. It wasn’t like anyone would associate the luggage with Sweetie, but enough “accidents” and the plane would have to land who-knows-where. With that thought on my mind, I reached out and gave Sweetie a light shake. “Hey, time to get up.”

Sweetie’s arm brushed against my and she curled up into her seat. “Five more minutes, Rarity.” I gave her another shake and one of her eyes flicked open. She raised up a hand and rubbed the sleep from her face. “Huh? John? Are we there?”

“No,” I replied, “but you were making stuff move while you were dreaming.”

“Oh.” Sweetie brought her hands to her lap and looked down at them. “Sorry. I was dreaming I’d finally helped Rarity clean up her store just the way she likes it.”

“It’s no problem.” I lifted the magazine out of my lap and showed it to Sweetie. Her eyes went as wide as Apple Bloom’s when she saw the Reef. “I was just showing Apple Bloom some of the famous areas of Australia.”

Sweetie’s hand brushed against a vibrant part of coral on the page. “It’s so pretty.”

“Yeah,” I replied. “Anyway, how about we go through the magazine and find out about Australia?”

“Okay,” said both Sweetie and Apple Bloom.

Sweetie’s eyes drifted to her right. She was so entranced by the Reef that she failed to notice she was leaning over Scootaloo. Scootaloo, in turn, was still lost in her dreams. “Um, what about Scootaloo?”

“Eh, let her sleep. She needs rest after the past few days.” I extended out my arms to allow both Sweetie and Apple Bloom to see the magazine. “Anyway, the Reef is actually made of thousands of tiny creatures called...”

~~~

“... vegemite. I can’t believe they actually advertise it.” We’d managed to make it to page ten. Said page featured a huge ad for vegemite with a giant can of the stuff and kids playing around it like it was a jungle gym. Clearly, the kids had issues.

Before I could explain more, a trolley with multiple trays on it was pushed to our aisle by a stewardess. “Breakfast?”

All of us nodded, save for Scootaloo, who was still asleep. I let the girls get their trays first before taking my own. Once the trays were set down, I raised up my hand and gave Scootaloo a light shake. “Hey Scootaloo, we got breakf—”

Scootaloo’s eyes opened in a flash and she nailed me on the chin with her head. “Who are you?” she yelled.

“Ow!” I rubbed my chin as numbness set in. All around us, people were staring in our direction, wondering what the commotion was.

Scootaloo spun her head around like a dog that had just caught scent of something before regaining her senses. When she saw me clutching my chin, she wilted into her seat. “S-sorry, I had a weird dream.”

“I think that’s an understatement,” Apple Bloom commented. “Ya nearly knocked John out.”

“It’s fine.” The ice from my drink went into a paper napkin and onto my chin. “What spooked ya anyway?”

“I wasn’t scared.” Scootaloo crossed her arms and pouted. “It was that person again! She was in a field with lots of tall grass.”

“You probably dreamt that because we were playing with our pokemon for so long,” Sweetie conjectured.

Scootaloo shook her head back and forth. “I’m telling you, she had the same voice and everything. It’s really weird. I was just about to catch her when I woke up.”

“Hmm.” The pain was slowly fading from my chin but my hand was getting soaked in the process by the melting ice. I reached up and pressed the service button. Last night’s discussion came back to my head. “You’ve never had a dream like this before?”

“No,” Scootaloo replied.

“Odd.” Well, for now, lets just enjoy our breakfast.” I tore off the lid on my tray and got a good view of what I was eating.

“Um... John?” Apple Bloom stuck out a finger and timidly poked a yellow sponge-like square in the corner of the tray. “What is this?”

Instead of my finger I used a fork to poke at my own sponge-thing and cut off a piece of it. I stared at it hesitantly for a second before I took a bite. The bland flavor mixed with the flimmy texture to coat my mouth in an unremarkable yet horrifying taste. “That’s what they’re gonna call eggs.”

Apple Bloom glared down at the “eggs.” “That’s a crime against chickens.”

~~~

When the trays were cleared away, they were replaced with a few sheets of paper. I knew the sheets well; there were spaces for our names, people in our party, home addresses, passport information, and about a dozen other things I’d have to clear with customs. I balanced the plastic ice bag a stewardess had given me between my cast and chin and put a pencil to the paper.

Scootaloo peared over at me and and was quickly joined by the other Crusaders. “That’s not a quiz, is it?”

“No, no,” I chuckled. “This is just a thing you need to fill out whenever you need to go to another country. Think of it like a contract.”

“Wait.” Sweetie placed a hand on one of the sheets. “Why would they let you on the plane if you need to sign a contract? What happens if you don’t?”

“Then you’re stuck in a horrible dark place until the end of time!” I said in an overly dramatic voice. “It’s called customs.”

All three of the girls looked at me with scrunched up looks and then back at each other.

“I don’t get humans at all,” Apple Bloom sighed.

~~~

The plane zoomed into the runway and quickly came to a much slower pace. I put the flight magazine back in the seat pocket and leaned back. My throat was dry once again from narrating the pages of the magazine and the rest my body felt a little tired and sore as well. The Crusaders, on the other hand, were absolutely ecstatic. If it weren’t for their seatbelts, they probably would have jumped out and around the plane.

“I can’t wait to see Pinkie and Fluttershy again!” Sweetie sang.

“Me neither!” said Apple Bloom.

“Hey, maybe we can go see that giant rock and climb it!” Scootaloo suggested.

“I’ll pass on the giant rock,” Sweetie replied. “Rarity would probably get mad at me after last time.”

~~~

I sighed and stood shoulder-to-shoulder next to a bunch of other anxious travelers. All our eyes looped around and around the carrousel that potentially held our luggage. My eyes were searching for the bags with a large B made of duct tape on them. Dad may have had some odd paranoid tendencies, but that was one that was highly beneficial.

“There’s one!” Apple Bloom jerked her arm out and up at one piece of our luggage that had just descended onto the carrousel. When it came close to us, I lunged out and yanked it up.

“Good eyes, Apple Bloom,” I smiled.

“No problem,” she said with a similar grin. “This is easy compared to when we have to rassle cows or pigs. I still can’t tell a few pigs from one another. Oh! There’s another one!”

Our bags were collected in a short order, thanks greatly to Apple Bloom’s quick reaction. It was onto the customs. My heart got slightly caught in my throat when I remembered I’d had to show the agents the false passports again. When the line finally got me to the front, I marched forward and mentally prayed.

The agent glanced at our bags and then at us. “Nothing to declare?”

“Nope,” I hastily replied.

The agent scanned over us and our bags again. He sighed and waved us through. “Move along.”

Like that, we had officially made it onto Australian soil. I felt about a hundred pounds lighter now that we were in the clear. I quickly led the girls through the terminal with a quick stop to the currency exchange counter and out to the curb. “Alright! We made it.”

“Sweet!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “So where do we meet Pinkie and Fluttershy?

“Well, we’ll...” The weight came back in an instant. My eyes darted down to my pocket and then to my backpack. Crap! My phone! No, don’t panic. You can just email Doug or something.

Apple Bloom tugged at arm. “John, is something wrong?”

“No,” I half lied. “I just need to get back inside so I can email Doug.” And hope his phone gets email... maybe they have payphones inside too. I turned around but just as about to take another step, but a highly ecstatic voice stopped me in my tracks.

“Hey you!” the bubbly voice screamed. Out of the gaggle of various people and cars, a young woman darted at us from across the road. “I hope you’re Apple Bloom because Auntie Pinkie’s coming in for a hug attack!”

My mouth dropped when I saw she was completely oblivious to the cars that were coming straight at her. Luckily, they just honked and stopped due to the lower speed limits. My mouth still hung low for another reason: the woman had neon pink hair that was as puffy as cotton candy.

“Pinkie!” all three of the Crusaders called out. They were all in Pinkie’s arms in an instant. Words spilled out of all four’s mouths and mixed to form an incoherent babble of noise. The noise was of a jovial sort though and that gave me enough confidence to stand back and let all of them reconnect with each other.

“Excuse me,” came a deep voice from to my left. “Are you John?” The man who the voice belonged to had a great shaggy mane of a beard. Above it were a pair of deep set eyes that probably didn’t look much better than my own. He stood at least a good foot over me and looked like he could swat me like a bug.

It took me a moment to realize I’d been so intimidated by his height that I hadn’t answered his question. “Oh uh, hi... you must be Doug, right?”

The man nodded, but my eyes had already drifted over to the two stragglers behind him. One was a small boy with white shorts, white shirt, and white hair. He kinda looked like Near from Death Note. His eyes pricked up the hair on my neck though, they were just black voids.

My eyes moved away from the abyss that was the boy’s pupils and over to the other straggler. Her smooth pink hair fell down her back and onto her long yellow dress. Aquamarine filled her pupils. She looked about the same age as Pinkie, but it was hard to tell since she quickly slid behind Doug.

My silence at observing the two of them hadn’t gone unnoticed. Doug’s right hand went out and he beckoned the boy forward. “John, this here is Angel.”

“Hhhh...hi!” Angel rasped. The bunny-turned-human sounded like he had a severe case of strep, but his voice was at least identifiable to the sound I’d heard on the phone call that felt like ages ago.

“Uh, hey there... little guy?” I replied with slight trepidation. All I got was the black eyes once more. I slackened my shoulders when Angel stepped back and allowed space for the girl to step forward, yet she remained behind Doug.

“And this here is Fluttershy,” Doug said. His coaxing managed to get Fluttershy to bend her head to the side and let me get a better look at her face.

Her features were very soft. She had a small nose that matched well with her fair lips. Above all that were her eyes which were like clear lagoons. I mentally slapped myself away from what she looked like since I wasn’t responding quickly enough. Damn trip is making me slow. “Nice... nice to meet you.”

Er, why had I stuttered like that? That sounded terrible. Nice first impression J— Something slammed into my foot hard. I pulled my foot up and clenched it as the pain from the attack spread like wildfire. “Son of a—”

That stupid bunny was glaring right at me with those damn eyes. He even had the gall to cross his arms. If he didn’t look like he was ten, I had the immense disposition to introduce him to the business end of my cast.

“John?” Scootaloo’s voice called out, breaking me away from the little bastard. She’d gotten out of Pinkie’s hug and was coming over to me. “Are you okay? I heard a... whoah!” She stopped in her tracks and gazed up at Doug. I couldn’t blame her, he was tall from my perspective, he must have been a giant to the Scootaloo.

“Hello Scootaloo,” Doug said with a smile. Scootaloo didn’t say anything and just kept staring at him.

“Hey Scootaloo, are you talking to Fluttershy?” asked Sweetie as she too left Pinkie’s grasp. “I can’t wait to... oh!” Like Scootaloo, her eyes went up to Doug and widened.

“Hey, what’re y’all running off without me for?” Apple Bloom called out. Pinkie followed behind her with an incredibly wide grin on her face. “I wanna see Fluttershy too.” Just like the other two Crusaders, her eyes went up to Doug and she blinked.

“Hello,” Doug repeated. His tone was more reserved now and held a bit more hesitation in it.

Apple Bloom broke her focus away from Doug and gave my shirt a tug. “Hey, you never told us y’all had talking bears on Earth!”

So that’s what this is about. I slumped my shoulders and explained, “He’s not a bear, girls. Just a little tall.”

Apple Bloom crossed her arms and gave her head a shake. “Uh huh, so how do ya explain all that hair then?” She gestured up to Doug’s beard and turned her attention to him. “Hey mister, are ya a bear or aint ya?”

“Apple Bloom! Don’t be rude,” Sweetie berated. In a show of both young bravery and absolute innocence, she walked over to Doug and held up her hand. “Hi, I’m Sweetie Belle.”

The giggling in the background killed the moment. I glanced away from Doug and Sweetie to see that Pinkie was giggling like she’d just gotten a full dose of laughing gas. Her laughter was interspersed with her whispering, “Captain Man-Bear.”

“You’re Fluttershy!” Sweetie squeaked, bringing me back to her, Doug, and Fluttershy. She looked Fluttershy up and down with wide eyes. “Wow, you look so pretty as a human! Rarity would love that dress!”

Fluttershy stepped back at the compliment like it was a physical force. She corrected herself in an instant and, like Pinkie before her, scooped up all the girls in a large hug.

“Oh, I’ve missed you all so much!” It wasn’t hard to see the tears streaking down her face. I would have been concerned had I not noticed the quivering smile on her lips. “I’m so happy you’re all safe. It must have been just terrible to wake up and not know where you were.”

“Yeah,” Apple Bloom gasped in the midst of the hug. “We were really scared.”

I backed away from the former ponies. After so long apart from each other, they deserved some personal time together. Tears dotted Sweetie’s face and there were even a few droplets in Apple Bloom and Scootaloo’s eyes as well.

The scene was so heartwarming that the loud “Hey!” from an unfamiliar voice shocked me into remembering that we were at an airport. There was now a man about my height but pudgier than me holding up a fist to Doug.

Doug looked as confused as I did and just stared down at the floating hoof.

“Brohoof, right?” the man asked. “You guys going to a meetup or something? I didn’t even know there were any planned for out here.”

The revelation dawned on me in the same instant it took Doug to return the brohoof. Eh, Bronies are everywhere. A fit a giggles arose in my chest at the situation. Here was a Brony randomly finding six of the show’s stars. It took all my strength to keep my laughter in check and return the man’s brohoof.

“So... you are?” Doug asked.

“Oh just call me Southern Cross, that’s what I go by online,” the man enthusiastically answered. “Same name on all the MLP sites. EQD, art, fanfiction...”

Doug bent over to “Cross” and looked him straight in the eye. “Did you find anypony?”

What the hell is he doing? I nearly screamed. “ Uh Doug, I think we should get going...” Before someone says something stupid.

Before Doug could respond, “Cross” let out a chilling cackle that sounded like something a villain would bellow upon his plan’s fruition. “What is that, some sort of inside joke? Seriously, did you find anypony? Sure, yeah. I have three in my backyard!” He then reached over to Doug and gave him a playful slap on the back. “So anyway, I need to get going. I just saw you all cosplaying and had to introduce myself. Look me up online sometime!”

Without another word “Cross” sped off into the crowd and vanished. What the hell was that?

I broke away from the spot “Cross” had disappeared into and back to Slorg. His expression of confusion probably matched my own. That interaction had been enough of the airport for me. “I... can we just get something to eat? I think we’re all a little sick of airplane food and that didn’t help.”

“Yeah, let’s get going,” Doug replied. “Having all of us out here in public together might draw unwanted attention, as we just saw.”

Together, Doug and I shepherded the ponies and Angel over to the car. They’d been spared “Cross’s” bizarre interaction since they were all still sharing tales and hugging it out with each other.

We stopped at a small car packed to the brim with camping gear. Including the driver’s seat, there were five seats total. “So uh.. how are we all going to fit into that?”

Author's Note

Yes, the "Juice Man" is based off an actual experience I had back in '07. I still wonder if it was a dream or not.

The Talk

“I miss trains,” Apple Bloom complained. “They were so much bigger and we didn’t have to all smush together like this.”

“Sorry, girls,” Doug murmured from the driver’s seat. “This car’s only meant to seat five at most.”

Maybe it was the late night runs to the supermarket back at school, but the setup didn’t feel too odd to me. Apple Bloom seemed okay in Pinkie’s lap and Sweetie and Scootaloo, while having limited elbow-room, still managed to fit into the right side of the car behind Doug. At least we hadn’t had to put anyone on the floor or the trunk.

“Well... Angel seems to like it,” said Fluttershy.

He also seemed to enjoying kicking the back of my seat. The kid was worse than Rachel. At least he couldn’t reach Sweetie and Scootaloo from Fluttershy’s lap and he didn’t appear too keen on messing with Apple Bloom.

The kicking was also keeping me from focussing on anything. On top of the sleep deprivation from the plane ride, all the talking from the back was melding into a cacophony of sound. I’m pretty sure I heard a small trumpet. My eyes started to feel heavy.

I shifted up in my seat and straightened my posture a little. I did not need jet lag on top of all the other issues. One of which came to my mind as I searched the car for a way to stay awake: where were we going?

“Um... so... ya live around here?” I asked Doug.

He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. “Yeah, but we’re heading towards a nice hotel that I know of. It, uh, well, it’ll probably be better-suited given the number of people we have to shelter.”

“Good point,” I agreed. A thought came to the forefront of my clouded mind. I shifted around in my seat and glanced back at Sweetie. “Might also be better to stay in a hotel in case you have another magical issue.”

Sweetie brought her eyes to the ground and murmured, “Yeah.”

Doug looked at me again with a flicker of surprise in his eye. “Sorry about the other day. The girls and I had some... issues to deal with.”

Doug’s attention went back to the wheel and he tilted the wheel towards me and drove into the dirt.

“Wh-what are you doing?” My eyes darted around the car to see why we’d pulled over. Nothing seemed to be wrong with anyone or anypony, but the Crusaders looked as confused as I probably did.

“We should probably have a quick chat, and the others should stretch their legs a bit,” Doug calmly replied. “We’ve been cramped up in the car for almost an hour, and we have about another hour to go.”

I unbuckled my seatbelt and sighed, “I thought Australia was a small place.”

Doug gave a small chuckle.

“Are we getting out?” asked Scootaloo.

“Just for a quick stretch,” I explained. It was easier said than done, getting out of my seat sent the blood rushing to my head. My hand traced along the side of the car and found the door handle next to Fluttershy and Angel’s seat.

I opened up the door and the little bastard took the chance to hop right on my foot. Bunnies only live like six years, so in relative terms he’d be an adult. He needed a good accidental smack by my cast. The soreness in my foot and him darting away from me ruined immediately carrying out the idea, but a plan was a plan at least.

The rest of the group made their way out as well without any further harm to me. Doug did stop Scootaloo and Sweetie from coming out the right side, due to traffic coming by them, but we all eventually got out. Standing up did feel good now that my head wasn’t swimming and the pain in my foot was fading.

“Okay everyone, John and I need to go discuss a few things. Feel free to stretch your legs,” Doug called out. I slanted myself against the car and let him give his little spiel. “And have a bit of a run around, or listen to the stereo. Just keep away from the highway obviously, and keep out of the trees and bushes since there are venomous creatures out here.”

“Alright, let’s go.” He came over to me and dragged me over to said trees and bushes. At the same time, flashes of Cracked articles came to my mind, many of which involved profanities, lewd references, and that Australia can and will mess you up.

“Uh, can’t we stay by the car?” I nervously asked.

“Nah, let them have some time together.” Doug then casually pushed a spider about the size of half his hand out of his way. It vanished into the bushes, but seeing it sent a shiver up my spine. The articles were right.

“They’ve been through alot and we need to discuss this alone anyway,” he continued, ignorant of giant arachnid he’d just ticked off.

Yes, alone... with god knows what else around us. “You’re sure? I mean, maybe we should keep an eye on them at least...” I saw something move out the corner of my eyes and noted a massive bug, I think, crawling across the ground. I stepped out of its path. “I haven’t really told them about wildlife here outside of the Reef.”

“I trust them to do the right thing,” he replied. We continued for a short bit and came to a clearing dotted with small rocks. I thought I saw something hide under one of them. Doug apparently had the same idea and upturned them while I stood on the edge the area. After his quick inspection, he took a seat on one of the rocks and gestured to a nearby one.

If he did it’s safe, if he did it’s safe, I repeated to myself as I inched down onto the rock.

“So...” he said once I was as comfortable as I could be in a forest surrounded by things that could very easily kill me in ten seconds and think nothing of it. ““How have you been coping with having to take care of, well, them?” he asked while gesturing over to the car’s direction.

“Well...” I shifted my cast upwards. “Things could have gone a little better.”

“Too right. So Discord did that to you, did he? I guess you and the girls were lucky.” He looked me in the eye. “How are they coping?”

I slumped my shoulders and sighed. “They’ve gotten over that. Lord knows what they saw back when he was really out of control.” I shuddered a little at the memories from Discord’s visit. “Bigger issue is Sweetie’s magic. I was hoping Pinkie and Fluttershy might know something about that.”

“Well, neither one of them are unicorns. I’m not sure how much help either of them will be.” He paused. “I suppose just having them talk might help a little. It certainly couldn’t hurt.”

“Yeah.” I scratched the back of my head. “I mean, Pinkie’s taken care of unicorns before and Fluttershy’s a close friend of Rarity’s... maybe they learned something about them? If they’ve got nothing, they can at least help out Scootaloo.”

Doug raised an eyebrow. “What’s up with Scootaloo?”

“She got really spooked by Indiana Jones.” My left hand tensed up around my cast. I sucked in my breath. “Oh Jesus, do Fluttershy and Pinkie know about the show?”

Doug simply nodded.

I corked my neck. “They had no issue with it?”

Doug shrugged in response. “To be honest, it’s hard to tell. I think that may actually be the least of their concerns right now.” He pushed himself off his rock and began to sojourn around the clearing. “Their main focus seems to be getting everypony back together and getting home.”

“Surviving here is a more pressing issue though,” I grunted. “I’ve got Sweetie sick as a dog from her magic, Scootaloo breaking down, and Apple Bloom ready to snap. It’s... god, I don’t even know what it is, but it’s bad.”

“Are you prepared to do whatever it takes to get these Equestrians back to their rightful home?”

The stare Doug gave me sent a shiver down my spine. The clearing went silent, save for something slinking around in the bushes. I looked at him and chuckled. “I just caused my mother and sister to get into a car accident to get the Crusaders here, stole from my family’s bank account, and smuggled a bunch of minors across countries. Ha! Liam Neeson be damned.”

Doug turned away from me for a moment and then asked, “Are they alright? Your mother and sister?”

“They’ll be pissed...” I leveled my eyes up to his, “... but I did what I had to.” I pressed my face against the palm of my left hand. I’m so screwed when I get back home.

“Good,” Doug said with a discomforting grin. “Because after tonight, there won’t be any more hotels. We’ll be roughing it in the Outback with no electricity, no communication with the outside world, and probably not even any toilets. We’re almost completely out of money and have nowhere else to stay for the moment. Tonight’s stay at the hotel will be a luxury compared to what Angel, the girls and I have had to put up with lately, and if you meant any of what you just said, you won’t speak a single complaint about any of it. Is that clear?”

He then spun around and made his way back to the path we’d taken to the clearing. I remained anchored to my rock. I pressed my face further into my palm. He... he can’t be serious. Oh no, no, no.

I wobbled to my feet and shuffled after him. “W-what do we do? Stay out there and wait?” He kept on trudging through the forest while I trailed my cast against the trees to stay balance. I stopped and leaned against a boulder. “For god’s sake! Discord is still out there!”

Doug stopped and leered, towering over me. “So is Twilight Sparkle!” he growled. “So is Rarity and Princess Luna!” he lowered his voice to a harsh whisper. “And we’ve heard nothing from them. For all I know, they’re still out there, alone and afraid. They might have no food, no shelter, and nobody there to protect them. Things are going to be rough for us for a while, but the Equestrians have it worse.”

Something in leapt off a tree nearby. It sounded like a bird. My side was aching again. I needed my meds.

“Look,” he said in a softer tone. “When I first contacted you I had everything sorted out, but things changed. It was too late to cancel your flights and we still needed to reunite the ponies that we have found. There’s nothing more to do than just... not give up. Now come on.”

With that, he went back to the car. I followed; at least the car wasn’t filled with giant spiders and whatever else was in the forest. My head loosely swung from my neck. Everything was hurting my head. Didn’t I keep my meds on me?

We emerged back onto the roadside. If it was anything of a consolation, everyone else seemed accounted for. Scootaloo and Pinkie were hunched over Fluttershy and staring down at something in her arms. The little bastard was hovering behind her as well. Apple Bloom didn’t appear interested in whatever it was and was off to the side.

“Hey captain, look at what Fluttershy found!” Pinkie called out with a grin.

Sweetie broke me away from the others though. Her color looked a little pale and her eyes were shaky. “Sweetie?” I nervously asked. “You okay?” Don’t tell me it’s another magical issue.

“Hey, John!” Scootaloo said with a smirk. “Come look at this! It’s awesome!”

“Not now, Scootaloo. I need t—” My eyes flicked down to her for a second and that was all I needed. I tensed up every muscle and froze. “Holy hell!”

Coiled around Fluttershy’s arms was a brown snake. It wasn’t as big a rattler but that really didn’t matter because a snake was still a snake.

“Get back!” Doug hissed. I heard my heart thumping in my chest. A snake was bad on its own, but hearing the guy who just brushed away a monstrous spider freaked out sent me on full alert. Pinkie scooted away from Fluttershy, but Scootaloo remained where she was.

“Scootaloo,” I commanded, “get away from the snake.”

Scootaloo frowned and slid away.

“W-what’s wrong?” Fluttershy asked, oblivious to the probably eight different kinds of lethal snake flicking its tongue along her arms.

“It’s nothing.” I saw the veins in Doug’s neck bulging. “Say goodbye to your little friend now, we have to get going.”

“Oh... okay then,” Fluttershy replied in a slightly crestfallen tone. “Goodbye, little cutie. You go back to your family now.”

I inched back as she set the snake down. It flicked its tongue again and then slithered off into the grass. Doug and I both released held breaths at the same time.

“See?” Doug said with a wry smile, “I told you they’d be fine."

~~~

The hotel was a place at least, that was more than I’d be able to say in a day. The beach wasn’t far off and I’d stared at it all through the drive. I really didn’t want to look at anything else. Doug could just keep driving for all I cared and that little bastard of a bunny could jump off in the ocean and never come back.

The car ride was quiet and I didn’t really listen to any conversation that popped up. Although, I was half-expecting some other poisonous creature to have slid into the car. Fricking Australia.

“I’ll be right back,” said Doug as he put the car in park. He then ran off to get keys.

I kept my head slumped against the window. What else was there to do? I wasn’t about to tell the girls I’d just royally screwed them over. If the snake had been any indication, I’d just endangered them even more. My stomach clenched up a little, I needed some actual food.

A Coke can was thrust out to the side of my head. “Ya want some, brony?” Pinkie asked, giving the can a small jiggle. “You’re a brony, right? I’ve always wanted to meet one.” She smiled at me expectantly.

“I guess.” My hand lightly pushed the Coke away. “Sorry, not a big soda drinker... there isn’t some water back there, is there?”

“Hmm...” she said, scratching her chin and looking around. “No, but there’s plenty outside! I wouldn’t drink that though if I were you. Not even if you’re really, really thirsty.”

“Trust me, I know,” I sighed.

Doug came back with a pair of keys dangling from his left hand. I reached down and pushed myself out of the car. This time, I didn’t bother to open the door, out of a combination of annoyance and exhaustion. Instead, I moved to the back, but Doug’s group was already heading into the hotel while the Crusaders had followed me to the back.

“Um, shouldn’t we go with them?” asked Sweetie.

“I thought we’d unpack first,” I replied. Guess it wouldn’t make much sense to fully unpack if we’re just staying a night. I placed my hand and cast on Sweetie and Scootaloo’s backs and led the Crusaders over to the hotel. “We’ll probably get it later.”

Three beds, two rooms, lounge area, and kitchen. Despite the grim financial situation, the rooms were actually quite nice. It reminded me of the hotel my family stayed at in California from a few years ago. It felt more like a second house than a hotel save for the size.

The beds looked really nice too. Nice and soft. A little rest on them wouldn’t hurt. I walked over to one but the Scootaloo beat me to it and pounced on it. The other Crusaders followed suit.

“This is so comfy!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“It’s kinda like...” Sweetie paused and pressed her face up against a pillow. “It’s nice.”

Apple Bloom fell onto her back and spread out her arms. “This is definitely better than the hotel we stayed at with Ms. Sybil. That one kinda smelled.”

I’m gonna kill him, I thought. I would have regardless for dropping that bombshell on me, but treating the Crusaders to this wasn’t right. Maybe Pinkie and Fluttershy had roughed it here, but at least they were adults. Even then, they didn’t even seem frightened earlier. Something was going to happen and now it’d be on my head.

“Okay everyone, can you all come into the lounge please?,” Doug’s voice called out from the lounge room.

We listened and piled into the room. Doug’s group was all on the couch or the chairs save for Doug himself, who chose to set on the floor next to the Crusaders and myself. “I’d just like to say a few things regarding our situation.”

No. No, no, no. I opened my mouth to say something, but Doug’s glare shut me up.

“Because I know things haven’t been easy for you and it’s not going to get much easier. It’s practically a miracle that we’ve been able to get our two groups together in a relatively short amount of time,” he continued.

The Crusaders turned to each other and then back to Doug. He leaned in a little closer to them. “Have you three ever gone camping?”

“No,” Sweetie bluntly answered.

Scootaloo scratched her chin and looked over to Fluttershy. “Does that time with you count?” Fluttershy gave a small smile and nodded. “Okay, guess we did.”

“I don’t know,” said Apple Bloom slowly. “Camping is more than just going into the woods for a little while. Ya gotta set up a tent, a fire, and stones to keep critters out. That’s what App... that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

Doug’s eyes focussed on Sweetie. “Have you ever wanted to go camping?”

“Apple Bloom did say it was fun... and I did want to go...” Sweetie mumbled.

“I’m going to leave it up to you three, then.” He looked in my direction, like I had the answer or something. “We might need to go camping for a while until we can find your friends and family. It should be fun, but we might have to camp for a long time. That means you might have to put up with sleeping on the ground or even...” he waved his hand in front of his face as if some pungent smell was there, “...having to be dirty for awhile. But if you can do that for us, it should help us while we look for the others.” He got back up to his feet. “If you don’t want to, it’s okay. I can try to find another way.”

There was a silence in the room. Only Apple Bloom moved her head to look at the Crusaders, me, and back to Doug. “Ya promise you’ll find our families?”

“Apple Bloom...” Sweetie said with a slight whine in her voice.

“Sweetie, he found Pinkie,” Apple Bloom retorted. “Pinkie knows everypony, so I’m sure it’ll be easy to find them.”

Doug held his hand out to Apple Bloom. “It might not be that easy, but I promise that we won’t give up,” his eyes went over to Fluttershy and Angel for an instant, “until we have found them all.”

“Okay.” Apple Bloom took Doug’s hand and I saw it tense up a little. “Deal.”

Doug’s eyes scanned over the other Crusaders. “All agreed?”

“If Apple Bloom says okay, then I’m in,” Scootaloo said with a shrug.

Sweetie tilted her head down. “If I can see Rarity... it’s fine.” She looked back up at Doug with a small smile. “She’s gonna be mad that you got us dirty though.”

Doug smiled back at her. “I look forward to explaining myself to her in person. We’re going to need some supplies for when we leave. There’s a store a short walk up the road from here with fresh food, anyone want to come with me?”

“Oh, um... I was kinda hoping we could go swimming. If that’s okay with you.” Pinkie suggested. Maybe it was the shock from the snake or maybe it was jet lag, but I must have missed the point where she’d slipped into a swimsuit.

“Swimming?” Scootaloo now had small grin on her face. It has been a while...”

“If we’re gonna be dirty, we might as well swim,” Sweetie conjectured.

“Wait, wait.” I raised up my hands to get everyone’s attention. “Girls, the ocean isn’t the safest place to be, especially since we’re all pretty tired from the flight.” Not to mention box jellies and whatever else likes to live in Australia. “Second, we don’t even have swimsuits.”

“Uh, duh,” Pinkie retorted. “There’s a swimming pool just outside. And of course you have swimsuits!” She gently bounced around the couch.

“No, we don’t,” I replied. “Trust me, I packed the bags and there weren’t swimsuits in there. They’re probably the only things I didn’t pack.” I shuddered slightly at the clothing I did have to buy.

Pinkie indicated some bags by the couch. “You mean these bags?” she asked innocently.

“How did...” I paused and looked to the Crusaders. “I didn’t drag those up, right?”

“No...” Scootaloo’s eyes went over to the bags and her eyes widened. “Oh, no way!” She rushed over to the bag and pulled out a light blue swim suit with a few streaks of yellow here and there. “This is awesome!”

“Scootaloo, put that back. It’s not ours.” I got up and marched over to the bags. Crap! I must have grabbed... The large strip of duct tape my family affixed to all our luggage was there, as was the tag with my name on it. Perplexed, I fully opened up the bag.

Everything was still in the same order as I’d packed it, save for the three pieces of swimwear atop it all. There were two smaller girls swimsuits, one a simple yellow and the other white with frills on the ends. Finally, there was a pair of brown swim trunks. None of them were mine.

“See?” Pinkie playfully asked. “You do have swimsuits!”

I picked up the trunks and looked at her. The merits of arguing with her were not something I wanted to test. “Okay, dropping where these came from, can you swim like this?”

“Well...” Pinkie glanced down at her swimsuit. “I guess I could swim without it, but Dougie seems to get mad when I do stuff like that. Weird, right?”

“I...” Oh, for Christ’s sake. “Fine, lets go down.” I spun over to the girls and was about to instruct them on pool safety, when I saw that Apple Bloom had vanished in the confusion over the suits. “Where’s Apple Bloom?”

“Oh.” Pinkie vaulted off the couched and gestured over to the door. “She went with Dougie, Fluttershy, and Angel.”

“Went where?” I asked in an exasperated tone.

Pinkie hefted her hands into the air and shrugged. “Dunno. Probably to get more Coke... I kinda drank the rest of it...” Her voice became a whisper. “Please don’t tell.”

I sighed and grabbed the extra room key Doug had left on a table by the couch. I probably needed some sun anyway after the flight. There might be a vending machine down there too.

~~~

“Wee!” Pinkie crashed into the pool, unleashing a decent deluge of water. The Crusaders followed in, creating smaller blasts of water. For once, I was glad that hotel pools were tiny puddles. The deepest it went was five feet and that was only at the absolute end of the pool. The Crusaders’ feet at least skimmed the bottom everywhere else. They did look a little silly doing the doggy paddle, but it beat flailing to stay afloat. Pinkie, meanwhile, did the butterfly.

Unfortunately, the search for a vending machine had proved futile. I sighed and reclined back into one of the white plastic chairs that lined the pool. I reached into my backpack and switched out my regular glasses for my shades. After I placed them on, something wet landed on my feet.

It turned out to be a inflatable beach ball. “Come on!” Pinkie called out, waving her hands in the air. “Jump in!”

“Would love too.” I raised up my cast while I picked up the ball. It slipped out of my hand and rolled back into the pool. “Can’t exactly swim with this on.”

“Then take it off!” Pinkie exclaimed.

An additional feeling of discomfort grew in my gut. Hearing Pinkie say that just sounded off. “It’s a cast. It doesn’t just come off. Besides...” Sweetie and Scootaloo were engaged in a splash fight. Surprisingly, Sweetie appeared to be winning. “It looks like ya’ll are having enough fun at it is. I’m fine with just taking a rest.”

“Okay...” Pinkie replied in a downtrodden tone. She spun around and leapt at the Crusaders. A smile was now firmly on her face. “Pinkie Slam!”

Sweetie and Scootaloo screamed as Pinkie dropped into the water between them. Both of them were left sputtering water.

“Pinkie, you’re too good at swimming,” Scootaloo coughed.

“Duh!” Pinkie lightly tapped Scootaloo on the forehead. “Do you know how many parties involve pools and swimming? A ton! I was even thinking of making an underwater party cannon! It was gonna be super fun!”

“Really?” Sweetie asked. “Did it do anything special?”

Pinkie dramatically spun her head to look at Sweetie. “Of course! It’s a bit harder since you can’t use confetti or other paper stuff, so I used floating decorations instead! Oh! Lets see who can hold their breath longest.”

Pinkie ducked her head underwater and the Crusaders did the same. I inhaled deeply and soaked in the tranquil moment. Considering the living conditions starting tomorrow, quietude would be an incredibly rare commodity.

About fifteen seconds later, Sweetie was up for air. Scootaloo followed thirty seconds after that, gasping for breath. A minute after the contest started, Pinkie emerged and smiled. “I win.”

“No fair,” Scootaloo complained. “Your lungs are bigger!”

Pinkie looked down and examined her chest. “Hmm, guess you have a point.”

“That’s not what she meant!” I exclaimed before a fit of coughing hit me.

“Well, it’s true!” Pinkie replied. She brought her attention back to the girls. “Okay, so no more breath holding. More splash fi—”

“Ha! I got the first move!” Scootaloo exclaimed. Her fire was quickly snuffed by Sweetie splashing her in the face. The three of them devolved into a mess of water and color.

~~~

The bed really was incredibly soft. The Crusaders and I had struggled up the stairs to the room, completely drained of energy. I managed to get the door open and slumped into one of the bedrooms. Sweetie and Scootaloo didn’t even get that far and crashed on the couch, if the two fwumps I heard were any indication. I removed my shades and collapsed on the bed.

A door closing got me to open my eyes, but I really didn’t want to. I pressed my hands into the bed and reluctantly sat up. I put my glasses back on and saw that someone else had entered into my room. “What?”

That bastard of a bunny was just standing there with his arms crossed. He wasn’t getting me this time. If he tried anything, my cast would be hitting his face. Wasn’t my fault if I accidently decked him when he got too close to me while I was asleep. At least, that’s how the story would go.

After a few moments of glaring, Angel pointed at me.

“N-no Fffwuffooshy!” he warned. Then he turned on his heel and sped away, leaving me baffled on two counts. One, he could do something other than annoy me, and two, he was jealous.

The bunny has a complex. I raised my head to the sky, wondering what odd force had brought this upon me. And I have issues if he actually sees me as a threat.

~~~

I munched down on some stir fry. The fact that Doug could cook was a positive at least. My enjoyment of the meal was a little stymied by the glare Angel was giving me. I chose to ignore it and focus on my food.

Scootaloo had a similar train of thought in mind and gladly devoured her meal. Only her plate out of all the Equestrians resembled mine, due to the cubes of beef here and there. The rest of them ate a mixture of rice, eggs, and veggies.

Pinkie was the main source of noise at the table. She happily chatted with Fluttershy and recollected the pool’s events. How she had so much to say about it, I don’t know. Then again, everything was kind of blur, especially after the nap.

Sweetie reclining back in her chair got my attention. Her plate was still pretty full though. She took shallow breaths and wasn’t looking that good.

“Sweetie?” The alarm bells were ringing again. “What is it?”

“It’s happening again,” she whimpered. “My head hurts.”

Fluttershy stopped eating and looked alarmed. “Oh dear... oh no! I haven’t had time to talk to her about it yet...” She shifted her head down and looked like she might as well have caused the mess.

“Is this her magic?” Doug asked.

“P-please,” Sweetie cried. She doubled over and clutched her stomach. “I d-don’t wanna!”

Apple Bloom rushed out of her spot and took Sweetie’s hand. She glanced at Doug and then back at Sweetie. “Sweetie, listen! It’s gonna be alright, but ya gotta settle down!” Her eyes started to tear up. “Ya won’t have to do this much longer. Doug said he’s gonna help find sis and Rarity and—”

“Rarity?” Sweetie called out in confusion. “Rarity! Help! I—” Sweetie’s pleas devolved into an animalistic scream.

The hairs on my arm pricked up. A burning smell flooded my nostrils despite a lack of flame. There was a green flash and I hit the ground.

The rest of the room apparently followed me. My ears were now ringing and I felt even more dazed than before. My cast brushed against broken pieces of glass that would have given my arm a few nasty cuts if not for its plaster shield. I quickly retracted my unguarded left hand and lumbered back to my feet.

I surveyed the room and froze. Everyone else was in a similar state of disarray, except for Apple Bloom and Angel. Blood stained both of their clothes, which were blackened and fringed in places. Neither of them was moving.

Injured

April 26, 2012

The harsh sloshing of rain against the bedroom window awoke me. That, and something nudged into my side. I stirred from the floor, producing a few pops and cracks from various joints. I glanced up and saw that Angel had his foot resting on my chest. “Aw, come on,” I sighed.

He extracted his foot and limped out of the room. Against my better judgement, I lifted my upper torso off the ground. Without my glasses, my vision was blurry at best, but it was enough to see that the room was empty.

I struggled to my feet and unleashed a massive yawn, then groped around for my glasses on the nearby furniture but remembered I’d left them next to the couch. I shambled out of the bedroom and entered into the sitting room and gave another yawn.

Doug and Fluttershy zipped through the sitting room and the kitchen with multiple bags in their hands. It wasn’t hard to guess that they contained what was left from last night’s disaster. Angel followed after Fluttershy as well, but held nothing. I scanned around the room and spotted Apple Bloom resting on the couch.

“Hey,” I gently called out while grabbing for my glasses. Apple Bloom had looked like a humanoid blob without them, but now I could see how the night had treated her. Her head wound was a little red, but other than that, looked like nothing more than a simple black zigzag. Her skin lacked a little color and the bags around her eyes told me she’d slept about as well as me. “How ya doing?”

“Better.” The softness of her voice surprised me and I leaned closer to her to hear better. “I’m glad Sweetie’s okay.”

“Yeah... I think we’re more glad you’re okay though,” I replied. “How long have you been up?”

Apple Bloom looked up thoughtfully. “It was dark,” she answered. “Doug was there when I woke up. I... was really scared about Sweetie and everyone else, but he said it was okay and had me stay in bed. Angel woke up a little bit later, but he stopped for some reason. We all saw ya on the ground...” She glanced down at the couch. “Ya coulda slept here, ya know.”

“I was, but I heard noise coming from your room. Turned out to be Ang—” Before I could finish, Angel lept over and slapped me on the back of the head. That and his icy glare were enough to get the message through. I grunted at him and turned my attention back to Apple Bloom. “Eh, it’s a little foggy, but I thought it was best to stay the rest of the night, just in case.”

“Thanks,” Apple Bloom said after a moment. “There’s just one thing...”

“What’s that?” I asked, concerned.

Apple Bloom reached up and pinched her nose. “Ya stink worse than I do after cleaning out the feeding tofts.”

To my chagrin, I realized that amidst everything that had happened, showering had gone pretty low on my priorities list. After the plane, the drive, and the disaster, burning my clothes sounded like a very viable option. I turned away from Apple Bloom and looked over to Doug. He was in the midst of pulling out another trash bag. “Doug, I’m gonna need one of those for my cast.”

~~~

I opened up my eyes and looked over to the grey light coming through the windows. It looked and sounded like somepony was spraying them with a fire hose. I stared at it for a moment and then everything came back to me. I bolted up and jumped off the bed. “Apple Bloom!”

I twisted the knob on the door and rushed over to the bedroom Apple Bloom was in. I was halfway across the room when a voice made me freeze. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen ya move that fast.”

Apple Bloom sat on the couch. She had these horrible stitches on her head and bandages all her arms and legs. The paleness of her coat made me think of Rarity for a second. My eyes got watery. “Apple Bloom.”

I rushed over and hugged her as hard as I could, even harder than the time I made Rarity mad. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! S-sorry!”

“Sweetie,” Apple Bloom sniffled. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not!” I broke away from Apple Bloom. I’d probably just hurt her again if I got too close. I scooted away from her to the opposite end of the couch. “Look at what I did!”

“This?” Apple Bloom looked down at her left arm and the bandages wrapped around it. “Ya shoulda seen me when I broke this leg.”

“I...” I looked up in confusion. “I don’t remember that.”

“I do,” said Fluttershy. She came over to the couch and sat between me and Apple Bloom. Her attention went over to Apple Bloom first. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Applejack more worried. She was so mad that she let you play in the old barn.”

“But I went there myself,” Apple Bloom replied. “Then I stepped on those bad boards and...” She clasped her left arm and sighed. “I don’t like to remember the rest.”

“Oh... well, Applejack still felt like it was her fault, but I don’t think either of you were to blame.” Fluttershy reached out and placed an arm on my and Apple Bloom’s back. “That was a very old barn, but we all got through it.” She smiled, but it felt like she was smiling more at me. “Right?”

“Yes,” I softly replied. Apple Bloom was okay and even Angel seemed fine, if the way he was standing in front of us and tapping his foot was any indication.

“Now...” Fluttershy turned her head and looked down at me. Her hand went away from my back and gently clasped one of my hands. “I... I don’t know a lot about t-this but... well...”

I raised an eyebrow. Fluttershy had been nice before, but now she was being weird. Actually, the stuttering and timidness were normal for her, but I’d never seen her face so red before.

“Y-your body is going through...” Fluttershy paused. I was about to get up and get help because it looked like she was having trouble breathing, but her voice broke through. It was incredibly quiet and I barely heard it. “Changes.”

~~~

I pulled a clean shirt over my head and glanced outside. The rain was still audible in the bathroom, but I liked it, especially given the dry spell Texas and Arizona were going through. The shower had refreshed me and cleared my mind, so hopefully things maybe, just maybe, would be a little more positive.

“No! Um, not right now!” Fluttershy yelled from the sitting room.

That and a door slamming ended my brief moment of serenity. I rushed into the kitchen to see what the mess was and found a very exasperated Apple Bloom on the couch with her arms crossed. Sweetie had joined her, looking as red as a tomato and mumbling to herself. Doug stood near the room’s exit with a devious grin on his face.

“Doug, I heard yelling. Everything okay?” I nervously asked.

“Ever wanted to know what pony puberty’s all about, mate?”

I raised up my cast and shook it back and forth. My face must have been getting near Sweetie’s level of red. “No, no. That’s fine...”

My eyes went over to the bedroom door and then back to Sweetie and Apple Bloom. “That probably wasn’t the easiest thing for Fluttershy to go through.”

“It just sounded confusing to me,” Apple Bloom complained. “All this stuff about calcium and horn growth. I wanted to know about the Earth Ponies growing up, but she ran out.”

The bedroom door opened and Scootaloo stepped into the sitting room. “What the hay did you do to Fluttershy? She just ran into the room mumbling about ‘clearing her h— Apple Bloom!”

Scootaloo darted over to the couch and locked Apple Bloom in a hug. She saw both me and Doug smiling at them and quickly broke away. “Glad you’re okay.”

“Me too!” Pinkie yelled. She zipped across the room, her clothes partially soaked and her hair dripping wet, and jumped onto the couch, somehow inching herself in between Scootaloo and Sweetie. Her arms went out and she pulled all three Crusaders in for a hug.

Scootaloo nudged away from the hug, but was unable to escape. “Gah, Pinkie Pie, you’re all wet from the shower!”

Yet her hair is still poofy, I pondered.

Pinkie raised up a hand and ruffled Scootaloo’s head. “Well, your hair is still a little wet too! Besides...” She brought her attention to Sweetie. “Somepony still needs a bath.”

“Oh right...” Sweetie blushed more and scampered off to the other bathroom. She paused and glanced back at the couch with a relieved look on her face. The door closed and that left the rest of us standing or sitting around the room.

“So...” I looked over to Doug. “What do we do now?”

He marched over and handed me a bag. “Garbage duty.”

~~~

My side ached a little from lifting all the bags, but we’d gotten the room about as clean as it could be given the amount of damage we’d done to it. It wasn’t really my side that bothered me, but my stomach. Doug had wanted us out of there as fast as possible, so we’d gone without breakfast. It hit me as I slid back into the passenger seat that we’d have virtually no refrigerated food out in the wilderness and that depressed me severely. The mood seemed contagious and it wasn’t hard to hear the sound of empty stomachs in the car.

Pinkie was the first to bring up the issue. “Hey Captain, you know what might turn some of these frowns upside down?”

“Less rain, fewer disasters, a nice roof over our heads, more money, and finding the rest of your friends?” Doug grunted. “Maybe Discord trying something new for once and actually being nice?”

“Dude!” I yelped.

Pinkie considered Doug’s answers for a moment. “Yeah, all of those things would be totally great!” she exclaimed, then teasingly sang, “But it would be even greeeater if we had some fooood!”

I stared at Pinkie for a moment and then sunk back into my seat. “Wish I knew where to eat here or if I’d had time to make something at the motel.”

“Oooh, you can cook?” Pinkie’s seatbelt extend a little so that she was closer to my face.

“Didn’t I tell you before?” I paused and glanced back at the Crusaders. Everyone was in the same seats as before. At least Angel wasn’t kicking my chair this time. “The girls seemed to like French toast, but I doubt I’ll be able to make it while camping.”

A high pitched noise escaped out of Pinkie’s mouth somewhere between a squeal and a dog whistle. Doug cut into the conversation. “We’re not going to reach the site I have in mind for another three hours or so. We might as well stop somewhere to eat along the way.” He paused for a moment. “It might be best to go through a drive-thru. I’d prefer to keep attention off of us and, well...” He glanced back and traced over the Crusaders and Angel. “Injured kids are sure to draw plenty of it our way.”

“No way am I staying cramped like this for three hours,” Scootaloo complained.

“I don’t really like those driver throughs though,” Sweetie mumbled. “The people in them are big and scary.”

“Bigger and scarier than the captain?” Pinkie asked with a grin.

“She’s got ya there, Sweetie,” said Apple Bloom.

I turned around and placed a smile on my face. “Think of it like an adventure. There’s lots of places here that don’t exist back home.”

“Yeah...” Sweetie’s eyes slowly drifted to the ground.

~~~

“Welcome to McDonalds, how may I take your order?”

Sweetie squirmed a little in her seat. “What doesn’t have meat?”

Scootaloo pressed her face up to the window and stared at the dimly lit menu. “What does have meat?”

“So what makes the muffin English?” asked Pinkie.

Apple Bloom raised up her arm and point at the menu. “I see pancakes!”

“No pancakes!” I yelled, bringing silence to the car and all eyes to me. “Trust me, you don’t want pancakes in here.”

“Welcome to McDonald’s, can I take your order?” the employee repeated again. He sounded bored, but I could have sworn I heard laughter in the background.

Doug spun back and gave us all a death glare. He then spun back around and belted out an order into the speaker. “Sorry about that. We’ll have... uh... five egg McMuffin meals with no bacon on any of them, all with orange juice to drink.”

Pinkie leaned forward and pressed a hand into Doug’s seat. “Can I have Coke?”

“Sorry, can I make one of those orange juices a large frozen Coke instead?” Doug asked.

After a second, the employee replied, “So that’s five egg McMuffin meals minus bacon, four with OJ and one with a large frozen Coke. Anything else?”

“Yes,” Doug continued, “I’ll have another egg McMuffin meal with bacon. Orange juice for that one, too. And uh...” He paused and glanced at me. “Four sausage and egg McMuffin meals, all with large Cokes.”

“Uh...” I spoke up, “make one of those Cokes a Bananaberry Bash... sounds interesting.”

Doug rolled his eyes and went back to the speaker. “Did you get that? One of those Cokes is now a Bananaberry Bash instead.”

The expression on Doug’s face shifted to one I knew all too well. The drooped lips, the tired eyes, and the anxiously gripped hands, all in preparation for your order to be severely messed up.

“So that’s six egg McMuffin meals, all but one without bacon; one with a large frozen Coke and the rest with orange juice; four sausage and egg McMuffin meals, three with large Cokes and one with a Bananaberry Bash. Will that be all for today?” the employee practically hummed.

The surprised look on Doug’s face made me regret destroying my phone. “Yes. Yes, that is all.”

The employee droned out the total and then asked us to move up to the next window. It opened up and an employee handed us our food. It surprised me to see such a cheery person working at McDonalds, but given his red eyes, he was probably high.

~~~

I slurped down what was left of the Banananberry Bash and set the cup down into a holder. It was okay, but bit too bland, but I wasn’t expecting a masterpiece from McDonalds. At least it cancelled out the saltiness of the McMuffins. I shifted back into my chair and craned my neck to the side to look at everyone else.

They’d all finished their food as well, save for Sweetie. She’d only nibbled on her McMuffin.

“Ya feeling okay?” I asked.

Sweetie slowly lifted her head and mumbled, “Yeah, I’m not really hungry... after last night.”

“Oh...” Sweetie’s response made me slightly coil away and soured the end of my meal. Her tone seemed to register throughout the car and everyone appeared to droop, except for Doug, who kept his eyes on the road.

Outside, we were no longer enclosed by the tall buildings of Sydney, but its urban sprawl was still all around us. Homes, offices, and restaurants filled my view, but there was nothing exceptional to lock onto or to start a conversation. At least it was no longer raining.

“So...” I mentally slapped myself for what I was about to ask, but a conversation starter was a conversation starter. “See any good movies?”

“No,” Pinkie replied, “but the Captain said we’d see a thing called the Avengers.”

I raised up an eyebrow. “That’s out?”

“Out what?” Pinkie asked.

“Um... nevermind,” I said with a wave of my hand.

“Oh...” Sweetie turned over to Fluttershy with soft eyes. “John showed us a movie with a big fuzzy thing called a Totoro. You’d probably like that.”

“Yeah, we should show ya,” Apple Bloom added. Her arm went out and her hand weakly tugged at my shirt sleeve. “Don’t ya have it on that machine of yours?”

“Sorry.” I gave my head a shake. “I left the DVD back home. Plus, all my stuff is probably low on power.”

“Aw,” all three of the Crusaders groaned.

“Sorry,” I repeated.

Fluttershy lightly stroked Angel’s back and looked up at me. “Oh, it’s okay...”

An idea came to my mind. “I can’t show you a movie, but I can tell you a story.”

“Ooooh,” Pinkie squealed. “I love stories! Does it have dragons? Pirates? Cake?”

“I can think of a few that do, but I think this one is very fitting. I leaned across my seat to get closer to everyone in back. “This is the story of a man named Clark and his trip to an amusement park...”

~~~

We exited the car just as Lady Gaga reached the final chorus of Bad Romance. Doug had turned on the radio shortly after I’d given my PG retelling of Vacation. It was your average fare of modern music, so, after a bit, and a lot of prodding from Pinkie to tell another story, I began to talk about Ghostbusters.

Bad Romance had come on just as I’d gotten to Walter Peck shutting off the ghost storage machine. Fluttershy had perked up and had leaned forward with a small grin on her face. “Could you please turn this up? I like this song,” she’d quietly asked.

Doug had obliged and cranked up the radio. I was silently thankful since my throat was getting a little dry. The reprieve also gave me the chance to take in the surroundings. Buildings had been replaced with a sea of trees with tall hills looming over them. It was quite idyllic until I recalled my talk with Doug in the small forest and everything we’d encountered there. My skin prickled up a little and I prayed Doug was skillful enough to know what to do.

I was still praying as everyone got out of the car and stretched. My arms shot into the air and produced a few cracks and pops. “So,” I asked Doug, “what’s the plan now?”

He meandered over to the trunk and began to take out all our belongings. Fluttershy guided Apple Bloom, Sweetie, and Angel to a nearby collection of rocks while the rest of us joined Doug in unpacking the car. Scootaloo couldn’t lift some of the heavier stuff on her own, but it gave having only one workable arm use.

“We’re still too close to civilization out here. We would be fine if we were camping for a day, maybe, but not for as long as we’re probably going to have to. What we’re doing is slightly illegal, mate. So we don’t want to be found,” Doug explained. He hefted a piece of luggage out of the car and then gestured to the near-empty trunk. “We’ll leave this here and move further into the woods. Nobody’s going to think much of it if they spot the car, but they’d certainly report us if they found our camp.”

“Deeper into the woods...” My eyes inched over to the forest that surrounded us now. Rustles, both distant and nearby were easy to hear, as was the squawking of birds. I glanced over in Fluttershy’s direction and was relieved that she hadn’t made “friends” with another snake or worse. My attention went back Doug. “You’re a big camper, done this sort of thing before, right?” I leaned closer. “Know how to handle dangerous creatures?”

“Guess we’re going to find out real soon, aren’t we?” He replied with a grin that bristled the hairs of my neck. I offered another prayer and dove over to a bag that held some insect repellent.

~~~

The trek to the campsite had drenched us all in sweat, even those in the “wounded” group were exhausted by the time Doug finally brought us to a halt. I tried my best to help around the site, but a lack of camping knowledge and a growing ache in my side put me out of commision. So, I sat back and watched everything get set up and then everyone else sat down and said little until Sweetie spoke up.

“I’m bored,” she complained.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo added. “No offense, but this is kinda lame.”

“Have ya got any horseshoes?” Apple Bloom asked Doug. “I mean, I probably shouldn’t throw anything right now, but... well, it’s just something I usually do when I go camping.”

“I have this,” Doug said with a smirk. He moved over to the tent and plowed through the luggage. After a moment, his hand shot up clenching a football.

“A hoofball!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

~~~

I decided that Angel’s eyes were the worst part about him. Any brat could kick you or think you were encroaching on their friends (you’re gonna encroach on anyone if you have to spend so much time in a car with them), but no one else had the black voids he had. There was just something off about them and he just. Kept. Staring. At. Me.

“So did he ever talk much before we got here?” I asked Pinkie out of desperation.

“Oh, we were trying to teach him a bunch of words!” Pinkie exclaimed. “He’s really good at saying ‘hag’ though.”

“You don’t say,” I mused. Angel glared at me, but did nothing else.

Sweetie leaned a little closer to inspect Angel, but not close enough that he could do anything to her. “I wonder if he could always talk.”

Pinkie shrugged. “Kinda hard to tell with any of Fluttershy’s pets. She’s so good it sounds like they talk to her, but every time I tried, they’d just quack, or squawk, or howl at me. It’s really confusing.”

“Sounds that way,” said Sweetie. Her attention went over to Angel. “He’s been pretty quiet. I’d have thought he’d want to go with Fluttershy.”

Angel tensed up. He glared at Sweetie and his face turned a shade redder. It looked like he was trying to cough something up, but he just gave a raspy grunt and slackened back onto his seat.

Sweetie’s pupils turned into pinpricks and her lips trembled. “You... you don’t think I hurt him so that he can’t talk?”

“No way!” Pinkie said, even as I was about to say the exact same lie. “I bet he just has a sore throat. Ya know, like how ya always get sick when you travel? Yup, just like that!”

“Oh... okay,” Sweetie mumbled.

I leaned into the center of our formation to get everyone’s attention. “Well, why don’t we play a game even Angel can play then.” I grinned over at Pinkie. “In fact, I bet he’s a master of charades.”

Pinkie’s grin dwarfed my own and practically swallowed up her face. “Can I go first? Please, please, please, double pretty pleeeease?”

“Don’t see why not,” I replied.

Pinkie shot out of her seat and took to the center of our arrangement. For a brief moment, I pondered what the hell she was doing pulling up her shirt, but she stopped with it fully covered her head. She then flailed her arms around in a creepy fashion.

“Easy,” I said with a snap of my fingers. “The headless horse—”

Pinkie’s head popped back out of her shirt and yelled, “Correct!”

“Man,” I finished.

“Horseman?” Pinkie tilted her head at me. “Is that some weird pony-thing? Sounds really scary! You should tell that story when it’s dark out.”

“It is a scary story, but...” I swatted away a rather large mosquito that was hovering near us. “A horseman is just a man that rides a horse, nothing really scary about that.”

“That sounds super scary!” Pinkie stuck out one of her thumbs and jabbed at her back. “Think of the back pain!”

“I’m with Pinkie on this one,” said Sweetie. “It’s bad enough carrying a ton of luggage.”

“Touche,” I sighed and gestured to her. “Wanna give it a shot?”

“I... I’ll try.” Sweetie got up and stood still for a moment. She raised up her hands to form a circle with a sharp point over her head. She ducked down and began to squat hop in place. I pursed my lips in confusion.

“Oo! Oo!” Pinkie wildly flailed her arms around. “The unicorn doll from The Toy Castle!”

Sweetie dropped her odd act and gave Pinkie a small smile. “Wow, it usually takes longer than that.”

“Woulda taken me all day,” I said. “Never even heard of whatever that is.”

Pinkie sucked in a massive amount of air and got right in my face. “But everypony knows it. There’s the princess, the prince, the evil guard, the band with the instrument weapons, and who could forget the lion-pig-fox?”

“Lion-pig-fox?” I asked. An epiphany hit me that it must have been an Equestrian play that we were discussing. If this was how the majority of the game was gonna go, I was effectively screwed. Yet, it seemed like Pinkie and Sweetie were having fun and they severely needed that after last night. “Hmm, I’ll need to think of a good one. Why doesn’t Angel go next?”

Angel crossed his arms and gave a curt shake of his head.

“Aw, c’mon, Angel,” Pinkie pleaded. “Don’t be a party pooper.”

“Yeah,” Sweetie agreed, “you’d probably win if you actually played.”

Angel made a sharp hissing noise and then threw his arms down. He stood up and prepared to do a skit. His legs went up and then stomped across the ground, while his mouth contorted in rage. He lifted up his right arm and brandished it through the air like a sword.

When his tirade ended, he fell to ground and propped his head up against a his chair. He kept one eye open and frowned. Finally, he got back up and fell back into his seat.

“What was that?” I asked. Sweetie’s mouth dangled open in confusion. She was probably thinking the same thing. Pinkie chewed on her lip and her eyes darted around all of us. “Ya got any clue?”

“I do but...” Pinkie sucked her lower lip into her mouth. “You might get mad.”

“Tough,” I sighed. “I’m gonna be living with him for the foreseeable future, so I might as well build up tolerance to his schtick. Right now, I’m just more curious about what he did.”

“You see...” Pinkie’s eyes slanted sideways as if to walk off her face. “He was kinda doing you.”

I laughed. I laughed very hard. After the hellish travel, the nightmare last night, and a pretty dry drive out to the middle of Australia where god-knows-what was in the bushes, seeing an exaggerated parody of myself knocked my socks off. Only my side flaring up managed to calm me down. “Oh... I needed that. Thanks, Angel.”

Angel, as usual, said nothing. His face went red again and he sunk into his chair as if it made him invisible.

“I think you embarrassed him,” Sweetie conjectured.

“It is charades.” I pushed off from my chair and readied myself. “If you don’t embarrass yourself by looking like a mime having a heart attack, you’re not doing it right.”

~~~

Doug proved his camping worth at night when he managed to scrounge up a pretty decent meal despite a lack of meat and only a few vegetables. He also showed himself as a master scary story teller, easily beating out my retelling Sleepy Hollow. It was probably his deep voice.

As the embers of our meager campfire died down, Doug strutted around the site, ensuring it was protected from the elements and whatever other insidious things Australian nature wanted to throw at us. The rest of us piled into the tent, but I lagged on the edge of it. “All good?”

“As good as it’s going to get, I guess,” he replied, swatting at a large mosquito. “Bloody things always manage to get inside somehow, but at least they’re just bugs.” He lowered his voice suddenly. “Don’t let Fluttershy catch you spraying any,” he added in a serious tone.

“Okay then.” I turned around and made my way into the tent. We somehow managed to squeeze everyone in, with one minor issue: Doug and I had the same area as Angel. Although, after our game earlier, he felt like a much more tolerable creature.

I reclined back and tried to get as comfortable as I could. My painkiller helped a little, but it didn’t hit me with the same unconscious spell it did when I first started on it. At least it helped dull the sound of wildlife and all the bugs buzzing around outside.

~~~

The sharp snap of a twig splintering opened my eyes. “Crap,” I muttered, “Doug?”

“It’s probably nothing, go back to sleep,” Doug grunted.

“B-but what if someone’s out there?” came Fluttershy’s hushed voice from across the tent.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” Doug sighed. “Nobody in their right mind is going to be out here.”

“Guess we’re not in our right minds then,” I nervously chuckled. “At least you can reason with people. Animals generally thrash first, steal your food later.”

“Fine, I’ll go take care of the scary twig,” Doug grumbled as he staggered out of his sleeping bag and over to the tent’s exit. He paused to pick up his bow and arrows though. Now that he had them in hand, I really hoped he wouldn’t have to use them, especially on something that was just stupid enough to rifle around our stuff. He stared over at me and I gave him a thumbs up before retrieving my glasses from my case, to get a better view of things in case Doug needed help.

As he neared the exit, he froze. Whatever he’d heard had sent him on high alert if the tense change in his body and the tight grip on his bow was any indication. He raised up his free hand, a signal for me to remain still, but it wasn’t necessary, I sure wasn’t going to tangle with anything that had Doug spooked.

Tense seconds passed. Nobody moved or made a sound. Doug ended the silence with a sigh and lifted the flap of the tent to poke his head outside. The rest of his body slowly followed. I listened while my eyes stayed glued on the tent’s flap.

A pair of aquamarine eyes appeared in the darkness on the other side of the tent. A focused my sight and made out Fluttershy’s silhouette. “Is... is everything okay?”

“There might be something outside,” I whispered so as not to wake anyone else up.

“Maybe it’s just hungry.”

“Hungry things tend to be very set on not being hungry... and don’t mind hurting us to get food.”

“It’s just hungry,” Fluttershy insisted. She crawled forward and slipped out of the tent.

Idiot! I bolted out of my sleeping bed and rushed after her. At least Doug had his bow and I had my cast, but Fluttershy had nothing but good communication skills. I stumbled over to the exit and rushed outside.

There was a blinding flash and then screams filled the night air.

Special: What a Fright!

Friday, October 31

“So, it’s like Nightmare Night, but without Nightmare Moon?” Apple Bloom had her hands held up with the invisible weight of the holidays in them. She threw them up into the air and crossed her arms. “How does that even make sense? What are people even celebrating?”

“Candy?” I replied after a brief pause. Apple Bloom furrowed her brow, followed by Scootaloo doing the same. Sweetie observed the conversation but said nothing. Giving my head a shake, I replied, “Okay-okay, so the holiday doesn’t make much sense here, but it’s an excuse to get out of the guest house at least.”

“But we don’t even have costumes,” Scootaloo complained.

“That’s the good part, everyone will think you’re in the best Cutie Mark Crusader costumes ever.” The frowns and dull looks I got were not the response I was hoping for. “I thought it was a good idea.”

“Who goes as themselves?” Apple Bloom grumbled.

“Yeah, a bedsheet with holes would be better,” Scootaloo added.

“I like the idea,” Sweetie mumbled. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo turned to her with eschewed faces, but she kept her head slightly bowed and her lips turned in the smallest hint of smile. “There’d be other people our age… and some nice clothes.”

The message behind Sweetie’s words hit Apple Bloom and Scootaloo and their confusion softened. Apple Bloom looked back to me. “Okay, if Sweetie’s in, I’m in too. I guess walking around couldn’t hurt. Plus, getting candy does sound fun.”

“I’m in too.” Scootaloo jabbed a finger at me. “On one condition. I get some wings at least.”

“Nothing some cardboard, paint, and string can’t make.” Before I left my chair, I noticed that Sweetie was glancing up at her forehead. “A horn for you?”

“Hmmm.” Sweetie scrunched up her face as her eyes went cross eyed. Scootaloo tried to hold back a giggle, but managed to contain it. Sweetie loosened her face after a moment of concentration and refocused her eyes. “No, I think a horn would look a little weird with my skin.”

“Okay, wings only it is then.” With the conversation at an end, I stepped outside into the mid-eighty degree heat of October’s end. Inside my main house, on the kitchen table lied two uncarved pumpkins. How mom expected me to carve one with one arm was beyond me, but she’d been forgetful of certain things ever since I’d come home. Things like the missing food from the fridge or a slight increase in the water bill. At least the discrepancies wouldn’t last much longer; it was just a matter of waiting for Doug’s tickets to get here and then head off to Australia.

Wonder if Australians celebrate Halloween. The thought came with visions of two pink haired girls dressed like they were heading to Bronycon followed by a confused man. The mental image entertained me while I rummaged through the old dump of art supplies from by-gone days that had collected in my laundry room.

A few minutes of searching produced no orange paint or paper from the room’s drawers. I was about to sigh and make do with a crayon and printer paper, when something soft rubbed against the back of my hand from with one of the drawers. Reaching back, I grabbed onto the material and yanked it out, revealing it as a large piece of orange foam-paper. The grin I got whenever I did something creative came to my face.

~~~

“Sam will be here at seven?” asked mom while she hefted down the larger of the two freshly carved jack-o-lanterns. The smaller one remained in the nook between my left arm and chest until I squatted down and placed it next to my front gate. The two lanterns formed an odd pair of guardians to my house: the bigger one with a goofy expression and the other resembling a Picasso painting had Picasso been born with arthritis. At least the whole “throwing up pumpkin seeds and goo” thing amused me and gave my pumpkin a semi-unique spin.

“Yeah,” I replied while wiping off some pumpkin gunk from hands. “By that I mean around seven and by ‘I’ll be back by eleven’ I mean, around eleven. We probably won’t even stay that long though.”

Mom pushed off the ground and made her way back to the house. “A party does sound good… you have been a little cranky lately.”

“Eh, probably the painkillers,” I lied.

We slipped back into the house where our paths diverged. Mom continued off to the kitchen to finish dinner while I slipped back into my room. A quick wash of my hands and then I made a final check on the contents of my backpack. There was water just in case, some glow sticks from the seasonal Halloween shop in the mall, and my pills in case the night got a little to crazy. Most of the space in my bag was taken up for three large paper bags I’d filched from my parents’ grocery shopping. Finally, there were the wings, or the closest I could get to them. With the final check done, I returned to the hallway and prepared to fill myself in preparation to the night.”

~~~

“Call us when you’re coming home,” dad said with a wave. I responded in kind until the garage door came down between us. It was a quick stroll over to the guest house with the setting sun at my back. One knock and the door opened.

“I still think this is weird,” said Apple Bloom as she marched outside first, wearing the same overalls and yellow shirt I’d found her in. Next came Sweetie, but, rather than her original dress, she was in jeans and a white cardigan. Finally, Scootaloo came out; like Apple Bloom, she was adorned in the orange shirt and jeans from that fateful walk.

Scootaloo looked up at me with a giddy look in her eyes. It may as well have been Christmas for her as I unzipped my backpack and pulled out the “wings.” They were a single piece of the orange foam-paper I’d found. Simple black marker took the place of feathers while two loops of string ran through the prop like the sleeves on a backpack.

“I know it’s not the best, bu—” The wings went flying out of hand and onto Scootaloo’s back in instant.

“Ah yeah!” She flexed her arms and back in a way that flapped the wings. She grinned at the new addition. “These are even better than the school play ones.”

“Hey!” Sweetie puckered her lips. “I made those!”

“I still think we should’ve just gotten a pegasus to play Romareo,” Apple Bloom added.

Before I could probe into the questions that arose about “Romareo,” the soft hum of an engine alerted me to our ride’s arrival. At the tip of my driveway came a orange and black (fitting for the occasion) car with a square build. Commanding the odd— at least, I’d always thought it was a bit strange-looking— car was a familiar round face partially obscured with blond hair and a beard. I was still getting used to the latter given that Sam had never sported a beard until this semester. Hauling himself out of the car after parking, he raised up a hand in greeting. “John!”

“Sam!” Our hands clenched in a strong shake, albeit awkwardly since they were our left ones. “Good to see ya again.”

“Yeah, been a bit busy with school.” His eyes drifted down towards my cast. “How’s the arm?”

I hefted the cast upward so he had a better view of it. “Better, doesn’t hurt quite as much anymore. Enough about stuff like that though. It’s candy time!”

“Yeah!” came three excited shouts from behind me, drawing Sam’s attention.

“You must be the kids John talked about,” Sam said with a smile. He hunched over slightly so that he was a little closer to the Crusaders’ height. His eyes scanned over them for a second before he turned to me. “Ya know, you see so many pony costumes with tails and horns, it’s nice to see simpler stuff like this, less cluttered.”

Scootaloo jumped up to Sam’s face. “Wings are still cool, right?”

Sam chuckled a little. “She’s definitely got Scootaloo down. Man, John, you really struck it lucky babysitting these kids.”

“Eh.” I nonchalantly shrugged my shoulders. “I had to do something while I’m stuck here. Doesn’t hurt that they’re well behaved.” Placing my hand on the back seats’ door, I pulled it open for the Crusaders. “So, shall we be off?”

We all piled into Sam’s car with with Crusaders in back and Sam and me in the front. Sam twisted his keys and pulled out of the driveway. “Kinda glad ya had something in mind. The party sounded a bit too far of a drive. Plus, trick-or-treating does sound a fun.”

Sweetie leaned forward from the middle seat to get a better look at Sam. She traced over his shorts and Waxfang T-shirt. “What’s your costume?”

“Oh, I’m not wearing anything. Little too old for that, but it’s still fun to see everyone dressed up,” Sam replied. With a turn, his car exited my neighborhood, entering a main street. At the nearby stoplight, the ends of the crosswalk were dotted with a few monsters and pop culture icons. I knew we were only at the fridges though.

Scootaloo’s eyes were glued to the world past her window. Taking in the costumed straglers, she asked, “What’s ‘trick-or-treat?’”

I mentally groaned but Sam merely laughed. “‘What’s trick-or-treat?’ Sorry, but you’ll need to try a little harder than that to pull one over on me.”

My hand, positioned in a way that Sam wouldn’t notice, waved back in forth in a signal to drop the conversation. Scootaloo glanced down at it and sunk back into her seat. “Ha, yeah, I guess it is a pretty lame… trick.”

Sam carefully wove his way through growing hordes of kids and eventually came to his house. In reality, we could’ve just walked to it, but without Sam, that might have drawn my parents’ suspicion. The Crusader’s bounded out of the car and entered the world of All Hallows Eve.

A good majority of the houses had at least some sort of decoration affixed to them. There were pinup skeletons, fake bats, and too many jack-o-lanterns to count. My personal favorite were the false spider webs.

A tug at my arm drew me away from the festive splendor. Apple Bloom stared at me with her attention occasionally shifting around. She motioned for me to get to her eye level and grabbed hold of my ear. “What’s with all the pumpkins with faces?”

“Oh…” Hadn’t covered that one. Thinking fast, I shot a finger out to the a rather large jack-o-lantern frozen in an eternal snicker. “Yeah, that jack-o-lantern is a bit creepy. Someone must’ve really gotten into the Halloween spirit on that. Nothing to worry about though.”

Apple Bloom backed away. She shared a moment of contemplation with her friends and they all nodded. “Got it, but wouldn’t ya rather eat that pumpkin then carve it up like that?”

“Trust me, stores will have plenty of that by…” Sam playfully scratched at his beard, drawing out the punchline. “Tomorrow.”

An image of the Crusaders huddled around a small Thanksgiving table came to me. It was quickly replaced by them destroying the kids area and moving onto the adult table. Pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes went flying in all directions. A slight shudder ran through me as the pancake incident mixed with a Thanksgiving that could happen. Hopefully, we can get them back before then.

Pushing the thought of holidays gone wrong away, I pulled out the bags and doled them out to the girls. “Alright, I think we’ve got everything ready.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Sam. We all stood still for a moment. Sam leaned over to Scootaloo. “That means you can go trick-or-treat.”

“Oh, right.” With that, Scootaloo took the lead with the other Crusaders behind her: Apple Bloom in the middle and Sweetie at the back close to Sam and me.

The lineup allowed Sam to get a good view of the back of Sweetie’s head. He stared down at it as we made our way to our first house and opened his mouth to say something, but Scootaloo pushed the doorbell before he could speak.

The door pulled open to a middle-aged brunette holding a bowl of candy. “Oh, now what are you all dres—”

“Nightmare Night, what a fright! Give us something sweet tonight!” the Crusaders all sang in unison. Sam chuckled again and I tried not to look embarrassed or nervous. That somehow registered as taking a step back and folding my hands into my pockets while shuffling in the same place.

The middle-aged woman’s lips pursed, and she held the bowl out of the Crusader’s reach for a moment. Her confused expression melted down into a smile and she pulled out three decently sized pieces of candy. “That’s a catchy jingle you made up. Happy Halloween.”

The door closed and we were left outside. The Crusaders stared down at the start of their horde with wide grins. The joyous mood carried over to Sam as well. “Ha! They really are in character.”

I said nothing and we continued over to the next house. Sam’s attention remained on Sweetie, but this time, he managed to get a few words out. “Just wondering, how’d, uh, the one dressed as Sweetie get her mane down so well?”

“Oh!” Sweetie stopped in her tracks and spun around to face Sam. “My sister did it! She’s really good at costumes and stuff like that!”

A growing part of me prayed that Sam would be denser than a rock tonight. He scratched his beard and chuckled some more. “And where’s she at tonight?”

“Um…” Sweetie’s smile deflated and her form slumped slightly. “She’s far away… I wish I could’ve told her happy Ni— Halloween.”

“We college kids are horrible at communication. I’m sure she’ll give you a call eventually.” Sam gave his shoulder a shrug and came to a stop a few feet away from the second house’s door.

In front of us was a collection of kids and their parents, the former eagerly awaiting whatever was behind the door. The door slowly creaked open and the children yelled,” Trick-or Treat!”

What greeted them was an empty entrance hall. Whispers and confused looks turned to playful screams when a headless man leapt from inside the house at the kids while cackling. In place of his head was a bowl of candy that he extracted from his neck and handed down to any of the kids that had managed to brave his surprise appearance. “Zehaha! Happy Halloween!”

“Awesome!” Scootaloo jumped ahead and grabbed a chocolate bar from the bowl. She stayed for a second and glared at the headless man. “Wait, how’d you know where to hold the candy?”

“The same way I know where the stairs are!” the headless man bellowed.

Apple Bloom stepped up next and took her candy with a grin. However, Sweetie stayed back a little and only slowly got closer to the candy. The headless man bent down so that he didn’t loom over any of the remaining trick-or-treaters. “Nothing to be scared of. I don’t bite… can’t without a mouth!”

A nearby kid in a Spiderman costume giggled, rushed over, and snatched up a sweet. His bold move inspired the other kids and they all came over to get their fill of sugary goodness, Sweetie included.

~~~

Ponyville has nothing on John’s place. There must be a thousand, maybe two thousand people living here, and all of them have candy. Well, there was that one lame place that gave us raisins, but that person looked even older than Apple Bloom’s grandma.

Still, it was pretty dark out now and it took a while to get dark in John’s town. The strings that held my wings to my back were also starting to hurt a little too. I mean, they still looked awesome, but I didn’t want to wear them all night. Plus, my bag was feeling pretty heavy. Sweetie and Apple Bloom looked like they were having trouble with their bags too.

“You getting tired?” John asked.

“How’d you know?” I’m convinced all grown-ups can kinda read minds.

John pointed down to my arm holding the bag. “You’ve been moving that bag back and forth a lot more lately and you’ve been scratching where your wings are. You can take ‘em off if they’re hurting you.”

“It’s fine.” My face felt a little hot. I couldn’t believe it was that obvious that I was looking tired. I bet Rainbow Dash could’ve gotten three times as much candy without even breaking a sweat. Wonder is she’s out in a costume somewhere.

Sweetie rubbed her eyes. Her arm wobbled a little from her bag. “I’m a little sleepy… and we still need to put some the candy at Ni—”

“Yeah, I know, you need to put some candy away from later,” John interrupted. He extended a hand out ot Sweetie, who dredged up her bag and lobbed it over to him. His arm sank a little from the weight, but he didn’t seem to mind. “Your parents are probably gonna be at the house soon anyway, so lets just go to one more house. That sound fair?”

I was gonna say something, but then I saw that Apple Bloom was acting a little strange. Her eyes were really wide and kinda shimmered in the nightlight. Her bag fell the ground and she raced away from us and over to a group of costumed people on the other side of the street.

Without missing a beat, John snatched up her bag too and gave chase. John’s giant friend looked at me and Sweetie for a second, grabbed both our hands, and tugged us over to John. I ran alongside him, but Sweetie kinda just stumbled along. Apple Bloom had better have found some good candy.

We made it over to the house, but Apple Bloom wasn’t over by the door. John was holding her arm and keeping her away from the costumed people. He was talking with an older one.

“Sorry. She just really likes those sorts of costumes,” John said.

“Shucks, ain’t no problem,” the older person replied. She was a little shorter than John and the way she talked reminded me of some of the people from John’s school. She was wearing a really big hat that looked kinda silly and this weird brown vest that was really reflective. For some reason, she had a bunch of white streamers attached to her pants. She bent down so that she was face to face with Apple Bloom. “Always good to see another pony out and about.”

Pony? What is she ta— The wind blew the streamers in a different direction, revealing three small, red apples sewn the older girl’s pants. I pointed an arm at her. “You’re Applejack!”

“Darn tootin,” the fake Applejack replied while shifting her hat around. Her finger shot out and moved around to me and Sweetie. When she spoke again, her voice didn’t sound a screechy and didn’t have that drawl. “Let me guess. You’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

“Yes,” Sweetie murmured with her eyes drifting around, not focusing on anything in particular.

The Applejack girl smiled really wide. “That’s so cute. Oh, you should talk to my sister. I’m sure ‘Sweetie’ would love to.” A hinge creeked and her head twisted over to a nearby gate. “Hmm, speak of the devil.”

Out of the gate came a bunch of colts and fillies. I recognized a few as vampire ponies, timberwolves, frankenstallion, and ghosts, but the killer hockey player and the colt with a pepperoni mask wearing a Hooves Warming Sweater seemed a bit out of place. The final person to come out was wearing a dress that shimmered from these weird thing diamond things sewn into it. She had plastic ears sticking out of her head that were attached to a white horn, making the combination look like the worst headband ever. Streams were attached to her dress, similar to the Applejack girl, but hers were purple. Three blue pieces of her dress shimmered more than the other parts.

I instantly spun over to Sweetie, but she was already sniffling. “Rarity.”

“Wow, I knew it was good, but not enough to make people cry,” said the Rarity girl. Something about the way she talked and spun around, showing off her costume, made my head hurt. It was the kind of ache I got whenever Diamond Tiara opened up her mouth.

“Something wrong?” asked the Applejack girl, her lips now turned down.

“N-no,” Sweetie stuttered, trying her best to hold back tears. “It… my sister did stuff like that before s-she…”

I went over to Sweetie’s side and gave her a hug. Apple Bloom wrenched her hand away from John and went over to Sweetie too. I noticed the girl scrunch up her nose at us and turn away to get to the next house. The Applejack girl ushered her and the other colts and fillies away, leaving just us, John, and John’s friend by the house.

“Hey, it’s just a costume,” Apple Bloom reassured Sweetie.

“But I know she’s out there,” Sweetie bawled. “She’s probably scared and worried about me and we’ve just been getting stupid candy!”

Sweetie’s forehead flashed. My bag flew upwards and exploded with a shower of sugar. A few lollipops and bars smacked me before I put my hands up. At least they shielded me when a nearby light blew up. John rushed between me and Apple Bloom and scooped Sweetie up.

“Hey, hey. Don’t say stuff like that. Your sister is just fine at school.” John rubbed Sweetie’s back to calm her down. A grunt escaped from his mouth. He’d used both arms to pick her up. “I know she misses you too, but you’ll see her soon.”

“W-when?” Sweetie sobbed, staining John’s shirt.

“Soon.” I didn’t like the way John said that. It reminded me of what parents say when something really bad happens and they’re scared too.

Sweetie tucked her head deeper into John’s shoulder. “I… I want to go home.”

“Yeah, with power acting weird and all, I think its best we go back,” John replied.

~~~

The ride back was at least faster. Far less people now patrolled the streets. The night’s supply of candy was dwindling now and only the most ardent trick-or-treaters remained outside. Jack-o-lanterns had gone out and a silence fell over the suburban neighborhood.

“Sorry about your bag,” Sweetie said to Scootaloo from the back of the car.

“It’s fine,” came Scootaloo’s monosalvic answer. However, her tone shifted and grew softer. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, I just miss her,” Sweetie replied with a slight crack in her voice.

We came to a stop in front of my house. Piling out, I was stopped from exiting by Sam. A string of panic ran through me. “Uh, something wrong?”

“John, I don’t mean to pry, but…” Sam let go and shifted back into his seat. “That Sweetie kid, her sister’s okay, right?” He quickly raised up his hands and swished them back and forth. “I mean, I didn’t want to say anything, but she seemed really upset.”

“It’s her sister’s first semester away from home,” I sighed. “Never met her, but they were really close. You shoulda seen the first time I babysat her, nearly broke my other arm in a fit.”

“Jeez, I’d quit after that.” Sam clutched the car’s gearshift. “Well, aside from the end, it was pretty fun.”

“Yeah.” I thankfully slid out of the car and waved Sam goodbye.

“Hey, didn’t you say Sweetie’s sister did her hair? How’d she manage that from far away?” Sam asked while he shifted into reverse. I froze for a second before he burst out laughing. “Eh, you can tell me in the morning. Playing tricks like that is always… entertaining.”

In the second before Sam turned the car and his face away, the light of nearby streetlamp caught in his eyes, turning them a glimmering shade of ruby. Then, like that, he was speeding away.

Rather than ponder the possible supernatural ramifications, I slumped my shoulders and trudged over to the girls. They were huddled together and looking down at something. “Okay, you can compare your hauls inside the guest house.”

“John look at this!” A delicately shaped tin foil crescent moon got shoved right into my face by Scootaloo. Whatever sweet was underneath pushed into the foil and created a visage of lone mare’s head.

“Huh.” Politely pushing the sweet away, I gave my head a scratch. “Guess we had quite a few pony fans tonight.”

“But it’s weird.” Scootaloo flipped the tiny moon around, analyzing it from all angles. “I don’t remember anyone giving me this. I mean, it was in my pocket and I definitely didn’t put anything in my pocket.”

I glanced away from the girls and up at the waxing moon. It was at the point where it was slightly convex and had little resemblance the the odd confection in Scootaloo’s hands. I breathed in the Halloween air and took in a last whiff of the holiday. I couldn’t help but think that something was watching us. At least whatever it was gave us something to eat.

I clasped Sweetie and Scootaloo’s shoulders and pushed them along with Apple Bloom back over to the guest house. At the door I released them “I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Maybe its a sign of good things to come. Now, I won’t be a tyrant about candy, but try not to eat too much of it. Best to save some for later. Also, really not worth the stomach ache.”

“Yes, John,” the Crusaders droned.

“Okay, happy Halloween.” With that said, I gently closed the door and made my way not to the garage, but rather, the front of my house. By now, the jack-o-lanterns were out so I only had the small lamps along the path to guide me. A breeze blew and a nearby bush rustled.

In the moonlight, the bush had a turquoise hue and when it moved it almost looked blue. Something shimmered at its base and I stooped down and extracted another crescent moon sweet. “Okay, um, Luna or whoever, uh, thanks?”

I got no reply and quickly hustled back to my house. There’d be time tomorrow to ponder the night’s strange occurrences. For now, I didn’t feel like lingering outside any longer. Something was afoot and now didn’t seem like a best time to mess with the unknown.

Night's Voice

My head darted out of the tent just as blinding light surged over the campground and assaulted my eyes. What had been gaping darkness before was now burning white. I raised my arms up too late as shields, my vision crippled with bursts of color. Someone pressed into my side and nudged me back into the tent.

“Stay with the girls!” Fluttershy’s voice urged.

Flailing my arms, I attempted to reached out and grab her, but met only air. I took a blind step forward and met the edge of the tent. The cool air hit my face as I struggled to make out Fluttershy’s form among the blur of trees, earth, and rocks.

“Do—” I yelled before a sharp hiss from near the tent cut me off. Waving its head back and forth was a massive snake. Even with my eyes still getting back to normal, it was easy to make out the parts of the creature that rose above the ground. Scales scintillated in the moonlight and I caught a glimpse of its fangs.

“S*%t!” Tumbling back into the center of the tent, I grabbed at the nearest piece of luggage I could find: a small suitcase. Not the best weapon, but anything was good in this situation.

However, rather than advancing closer to the tent, the snake kept its distance, thankfully cut off by the ring of rocks Doug had constructed around the site. My eyes stayed locked on its shadow and I dared not move a muscle.

“Huh?” came a mutter to my right. Apple Bloom’s red hair appeared from out of the Crusaders’ sleeping room, followed by the rest of her. Shuffling around, she rubbed her eyes and looked around, sleep still heavy on her face. “I heard a scream.”

“Just a bad dream,” Fluttershy lied. She poked her upper body back inside the tent with her lips in a neutral line and her eyes distant but calm. “You probably just heard Doug trip outside. I’m gonna go check on him and be right back, okay?”

Fluttershy retreated back outside, leaving us to the sound of bare feet crunching against dead foliage. Both Apple Bloom and I stared at the loose tent flap and listened until we could only hear the nightlife of the forest. My heart pounded away at my chest, slightly shaking my now-sweat stained shirt, but it slowly turned from a maddening pulse to a rhythmic beat.

“Uh, John? Why are ya holding a suitcase?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sensation of the rough plastic returned to my damp hands. I shifted around, the case feeling much heavier to put back than it was to pick up. Padding over to the the tent’s entrance, I hastily zipped it up and scooted away from it. The snake was bad enough, but who knew what else lied outside. Something that could make Doug scream. Goosebumps prickled up my arms at the thought.

“John? You’re shaking.” Apple Bloom left her side of the tent and took a seat with her back to some other piece of luggage.

“Just not used to Australian nights.” Going along with the act, I crossed my arms and gave them a rub. “It’s a bit chilly for me.”

“I’ll say!” Pinkie exclaimed. She popped out of her sleeping area and scrambled up next to us. “I mean it’s so cold, and dark, and…”

Her voice trailed off and her head turned down to the zigzag patterns on her pajamas. The next words came out of her mouth like a tiny wounded yelp. “That sounded like a pretty bad fall.”

“I’m just glad it didn’t wake me up,” Scootaloo grumbled. She slinked into the central part of the tent and joined our growing group. She sleep dotted her face with dark bags like Apple Bloom’s, but the red in her eyes was more pronounced.

Sweetie followed after Scootaloo, with the former clenching the latter’s shoulder. Her eyes were wide open and actively danced around the room, showing off the tiny vessels running through them. Her lips were pulled into a thin, shaky line that trembled every inch she crawled over to us.

“Sweetie, stuff like this happens all the time during camping.” Scootaloo placed a hand over Sweetie’s and helped lower her down to the ground. In an instant, Sweetie released Scootaloo and gravitated close to Pinkie.

We all rearranged ourselves into a rough circle with a gap near the tent’s exit. The movement appeared to take a lot out of Scootaloo, since her head constantly drooped while we shifted around.

“You don’t have to stay up,” I said.

“It… it’s fine,” she mumbled. Her arms crossed over her orange t-shirt, running over fresh goosebumps across her exposed skin. “I don’t like sleeping here.”

“It is a bit rough,” I sighed. Complaining about camping may not have been the most ideal topic, but it was better than thinking about what had transpired outside. Whatever was out there, I didn’t want to know unless it showed up as a carcass over Doug’s shoulder. “I remember how my family tried camping once. We got a big tent, a ton of good supplies, and drove up north. Ya can’t buy common sense though. Heh, we were so fed up by ten that we gave up and stayed at a nearby hotel.”

A weak smile came to Apple Bloom’s face. She glanced over to her friends. “Sounds like the first time we slept in the clubhouse. Sweetie must’ve bought a chicken coop’s worth of pillows, and Scootaloo, ya didn’t even bring a sleeping bag.”

“I thought we’d have clouds, and those are everywhere!” Scootaloo replied, ignorant of the small tinge of red on her face. Her eyes glazed over and her attention went away from the group. “That’s not why I can’t sleep this time though. It’s that girl again.”

“Girl?” asked Pinkie.

“Ever since we got here, there’s been this girl sometimes in my dreams,” Scootaloo explained. Her arms pulled tightly against her sides. “I think she’s lost, but I can never tell because she’s always too far away to catch. It’s because these legs are too slow.”

The last sentence replayed in my head, making me blink. My eyes flared wide open upon the full impact of the words reaching me. “You’re human in dreams too?”

“Sometimes in other dreams, but always in the ones with the girl.” Tensing up her frame, Scootaloo shivered. “It’s worse here though. Every time I nap or close my eyes, it’s cold and… big. I don’t get it, but it feels like I’m a bug or something. The girl’s even worse, she’s, like, tiny and huge at the same time.”

“Maybe it’s another pony that got sent here,” Pinkie suggested. Her lips twitched, caught in a flux between a smile and a frown. She bent her back, narrowing the distance between her and Scootaloo. “Do you remember anything else about her?”

Scootaloo reached up and scratched her head. Her eyes shut, and it looked like she’d nodded off to sleep, but they suddenly opened again. “Blue hair… really dark and wavy. I thought she was bald the first time I saw her because it was so dark.”

Pinkie placed a pipe in her mouth and blew a few bubbles out of it. A soapy sphere burst on my arm for me, making me question just where Pinkie had produced such an odd curio. She watched the last of the bubbles pop and narrowed her eyes. “Hmm, so it’s somepony with blue hair. The answer is obvious!”

“It is?” we all asked with varying levels of surprise heightening our voices.

“Of course!” Pinkie blew into the pipe again, filling the room with bubbles. “Cerulean Orchid!”

Everyone’s face scrunched up. Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow, Scootaloo flapped her head back in forth to stave of sleep, and Sweetie stared blankly at Pinkie.

“Who?” Sweetie asked, beating the rest of us to the question the tip of our tongues.

“Roseluck’s niece.” Pinkie tilted her head so that her mane spun to the ground. “Duh!”

A cacophony of cackles erupted from beyond the tent. Scootaloo bolted upright and scootched closer to Apple Bloom. Sweetie clamped her arms around Pinkie and hugged her tightly.

“Hey, nothing wrong with a good laugh… uh, heh, right?” Pinkie’s speech faltered with each word while piercing laughter seemed to grow louder and louder. She turned her attention down and brought her hand over Sweetie’s back, slightly calming the young filly’s shaking. “It… it’s just some kookaburras. Fluttershy said they like to laugh and to make ponies laugh, too… I mean, they’re not laughing at us or anything.”

Pinkie’s eye twitched a bit. The kookaburras’ calls sent more goosebumps up my arms, but a bird call was just a bird call. “It’s just the way the talk to each other. Heh, certainly beats a coyote call.”

“I’ll say,” said Apple Bloom, her demeanor unperturbed by the sounds from outside the tent. She glanced over to Sweetie and Scootaloo, both of whom were still shaking slightly. “Coyotes are pretty bad out in Appleloosa, but they’re nothing compared to a timber wolf howl. I remember the first time I heard it, Applejack had to stay with me all ni—” A blush crept across her face and she shifted her eyes to the ground. “I mean, she told me no timberwolves would be coming near as long we made a nice racket… didn’t really help me get back to sleep for the next few nights.”

“Most animals will stay away if you make a loud enough noise.” The opportunity in front of me was good, so I took it. “That holds true anywhere.”

“Like the dust parasprite things from that movie,” Sweetie whispered with a weak smile. However, the rest of her body was still shaking like a leaf.

“Sweetie, I don’t make the best blanket, but I can get you one.” Pinkie’s arm stretched into the space the contained her sleeping area and pulled out the edge of a large fluffy blanket.

Sweetie lightly twisted her head back and forth. “No. It’s nothing. I… I just kinda need to use the bathroom.”

Between the goosebumps, the shivers, and now the drainage of color from my face, it was getting hard to tell whether I was in Australia or Alaska anymore. John, it’s just the woods. You are a grown man and you must act like it for them.

Swallowing down every instinct to stay in the safety of the tent, I grunted and pushed myself up. My good hand slowly extended out into Sweetie’s direction. “C’mon. It’s only a few feet over to bushes.”

“B-but…” Sweetie stuttered. “W-what if somethings out there? That t-thing that made D-doug scream.”

I furrowed my brow and shifted over to the nearby luggage pile. My hand and cast scraped through the suitcases until they came upon the two things I wanted: an long umbrella and a frying pan. Awkwardly balancing the pan in the crook of my right elbow, I brought the umbrella down on it with a great resounding clang.

The noise reverberated through the tent, attracting everyone’s attention. Even Scootaloo’s eyes filled with alertness for a brief moment. Silence fell upon us: no kookaburras hollering, no bushes rustling, and nothing prowling through the nearby forest. In that brief moment of serenity, I quickly clasped the pan’s handle and slashed it through the air. “Whatever it is, it probably didn’t like that, and, if the noise wasn’t enough, it probably won’t like a faceful of solid metal either.”

“C’mon, lets go,” I said while extending my cast out to Sweetie. She stared at it for a moment and let her eyes drift over to my weapons of choice. She deeply inhaled, bowed her head and tenderly clasped the plaster around my arm. This way, at least, she wouldn’t feel how fast my pulse was going.

With every muscle of my face tensed up like stone, I marched over to the tent’s exit. My full hand reached out to fumble with the zipper that separated the safety of the tent from the danger outside, but couldn’t get a grasp on it with both the pan and umbrella between my fingers. I was about to put them down, when Sweetie’s shaky arms went out and pulled the zipper down in one jittery tug. She grabbed my cast as soon as she was finished.

Not looking back, I pushed ahead. For a moment, I thought my fears had gotten the best of me, for the campsite outside was cold, silent, and untouched. The firepit still contained the blackened remains of logs, Doug’s rock formation was still in place, and the moon hadn’t decided to turn into the sun or some other foul trick only Discord could have played.

Just as a sense of relief began to form in the depths of my stomach, something moved across the ground, its form vaguely defined by the moonlight. Whether it was reptile, insect, or mammal, I didn’t know. It was far bigger than the scorpions I was used to dealing with though.

My mind didn’t linger on the creature for long since something else skittered across the ground, then another, and another. The volume of the situation dawned on me when I realized a good part of the earth in front of me alive with movement. Eyes of various shades gazed at me from the forest beyond the campsite. Above, birds twisted and curved branches with the weight of their bodies, many of them veiled in the trees’ shadows.

“I… I c-can hold it,” Sweetie quivered. She took a step back and tugged at my bound arm in an attempt to get me to follow her, but I gently resisted.

“They’re just animals. They won’t disturb us if we don’t disturb them,” I repeated from lord knows how many safety videos. The words didn’t reach Sweetie and she continued to pull at me, not daring to advance just a few feet over to the right. From our position, I could even see the bushes we’d marked as our latrine. Eyes stared back at us from that direction too, but not as many as directly in front of us.

“T-they’re everywhere,” Sweetie whimpered. Her legs wobbled back in forth despite her still trying to get me to go back, but I wasn’t having it, even if my heart, brain, and instincts were all screaming at me to go back inside as well.

“Then close your eyes. I won’t let anything hurt you,” I promised. Sweetie sniffled and shut her eyes, her whole body shivering for a multitude of reasons. Raising the pan and umbrella to my mouth, I chomped down on the pan’s handle. I narrowed my sight down to the umbrella, knowing that it wouldn’t dispel the things that surrounded us, but I hoped what I did next would. The umbrella banged against the pot, producing another great clang and sending the vibration through my teeth.

At the same time, I pulled Sweetie forward. Her legs didn’t move fast enough and she tripped for the first few steps, my cast her only support. My steps slowed to match hers a little more closely, but still contained enough force to keep her on the path to the latrine.

My auditory assault with the pan continued even out my jaw turned sore and my teeth began to ache. A few things slithered in front of us, but the long thin shape of a snake didn’t appear and the other things were dispelled by the bangs and stomps of my bizarre dance.

Finally, we made it to the bushes. Atop them, I saw spiderwebs basking the moonlight. With two swats of the umbrella, I dispersed the ones you couldn’t avoid touching while you squeezed through the plants to the “private” area beyond them. With the path clear, I removed the pan from mouth and gave my arm a shake. “Sweetie, we’re here.”

~~~

Apple Bloom

I’m not gonna cry, I’m not gonna cry, I repeated over and over to myself. The hollow ring that filled the air every few second was like a relative that visited every year. Everypony loved when it came, we’d set out special cookware, dress up for the occasion, and have a real fun time. Last year I’d even hoped maybe, just maybe, that yearly visitor would also give me a cutie mark.

It was all wrong this time though. The sound was still scaring away the bad creatures, but it wasn’t Applejack, or Granny Smith, or Big Macintosh making the noise. Instead of waking up in my bed even though the sun wasn’t up, I was sitting in a tent in a place I didn’t know with my arm and head covered and bandages.

I should’ve gone outside and helped Sweetie, even if there was a wolf, or a bear, or something even worse. I’d fought Discord, I should’ve been able to scare off anything. John probably would have stopped me though. He’d’ve said it was too dangerous or something like that.

Glancing down at my arm, I realized how heavy my eyes felt. Sleep wasn’t gonna happen until Sweetie and John came back though. They’d be back soon. The same way Applejack said she’d be back soon…

Something grabbed me and pulled me close. I struggled against it for a moment until I realized it was Pinkie. I was so focused on Sweetie and John that everything else had fallen away. She hugged me tighter and covered my face with her pajamas while she patted my back.

“Don’t worry, Apple Bloom. It’s just a bathroom break,” Pinkie’s voice cracked.

“I… I know,” I replied, staying in Pinkie’s arms.

“So it’s nothing to cry over.”

I pulled away from her with my face feeling hot. Reaching up to cool it with my hand, I felt moisture on those odd finger things. I quickly rubbed away anything else that was near my eyes. “I wasn’t crying, I was just...”

“Worried?” Pinkie asked. Looking at her, something seemed a little odd. Her back slumped a little and her face was soft, but in more of a tired way than a nice way.

“Yeah,” I sighed. The beating of the pan echoed around us for a little before I spoke up again. “Hearing John make all that racket reminds me of home and that makes me worry about Applejack, and the rest of my family, you and Fluttershy, Sweetie… just about everypony I can think of.”

“Yeah, being in a new place far away from your fa— friends is hard.” Pinkie placed her hands on my shoulders and lowered her head closer to mine. Her mane still had the same smell to it as always did: sweet like cotton candy. My eyes grew heavier from smelling it while having hands that weren’t really Pinkie’s on me. “You get concerned about the ponies back home and even more scared about the ponies with you.”

“Sounds like ya’ve had to deal with stuff like this before.”

“Mmmhmm,” Pinkie softly hummed. “I admit that the whole I just turned into something else and landed on a completely different world thing hasn’t happened to me before. Well, not that I can remember, anyway. But whenever I have to go somewhere, or have to watch somepony else leave for a while, I get butterflies in my stomach wondering about them. It kinda makes me wonder if Fluttershy gets that feeling on her fl—”

Pinkie cut herself off suddenly and raced forward, flooding my vision with her shirt. Something wet and cold splashed onto my back, making me shiver. I tried to turn and see what landed on me, but it was hard to move with the way Pinkie was positioned.

“Uh, Pinkie? What’s going on?”

Pinkie gave a small nervous chuckle. “Sorry, Apple Bloom. I thought Scootaloo was fine sleeping like she was, but I saw her falling and didn’t want her to land on you. I couldn’t stop her drool though!”

“Aw, gross!” I reached around as best I could and swatted on the damp spot on my clothes and then wiped whatever was left across the floor. Least that explains why Scoots wasn’t saying anything.

“Just sit tight for a little bit while I get Scootaloo on the ground,” said Pinkie.

While I cleaned off the drool, Pinkie’s hands occasionally bumped into me. She eventually retracted her arms and scooted away from me and closer to Scootaloo. Without her in the way, I spun around and was met with Scootaloo dead asleep on the floor like it was the best bed in the world.

“Glad moving sleeping ponies works on older ponies and not just foals,” Pinkie said with a small grin that quickly faded away, but returned just as fast when she looked at me. “Still, an actual bed is a much better place to rest. Apple Bloom, would ya mind helping me get Scootaloo back to her part of tent? I just need you to hold open the flap. Don’t want to bump her into anything.”

“No problem,” I whispered. Although, given how Scootaloo had been acting and that she’d fallen asleep with all the noise, even a rooster might have had trouble getting her up. Thinking about the clanging made me realize that John had slowed down hitting at the pan.

There wasn’t time to worry about it though, since Pinkie had already scooped up Scootaloo and was making her way over to where we’d all been sleeping. She silently scooted across the floor on her knees like they were feet or hooves. I had to get up; moving around with my knees bent in the opposite direction and touching the ground was like getting them tickled and scraped against a rock at the same time.

Rushing over to the flap, I pulled it open and Pinkie quietly slipped in with Scootaloo nestled in her arms. I followed after them and helped open up Scootaloo’s sleeping bag. She shifted around and I thought for a second she was about to wake up, but she only turned her head into her pillow and sunk deeper into sleep.

“You can join her, too,” Pinkie suggested.

“Not until Sweetie’s back,” I replied.

At the sound of a rustle, we turned our heads back to the main area of the tent. I raced out and felt my arm slide and catch along the sleeping area’s flap. It stung a little and pushed sleep away, but seeing if Sweetie was back mattered more.

The sitting space was just as empty as we had left it. I stared dejectedly at the lack of Sweetie and John and sunk down to the floor. Pinkie took a seat next to me and patted my back.

“Guess it was just the wind,” she sighed.

~~~

It was easy to see the bite marks I’d left in the pan’s wooden handle under the moonlight. Hopefully, Doug wouldn’t notice or be too angry about that. Studying the tiny dents between waking the iron helped take my mind off the throbbing feeling in my gums and the metallic taste in my mouth. Definitely having some water once I get back… crap, where did Doug leave that?

Sweetie soon returned from beyond the bushes. Her nose was wet and her eyes puffed up. She gave a small hiccup and darted over to me, clasping my cast.

“Everything okay?” I dared ask.

“I d-don’t like it out here,” she sniffled.

“Then lets not waste time.” I turned around and braved the path again. Eyes still stared back at me from the abyss and bushes rustled here and there, but now that we were close to the end of this ordeal, my strength was waning and sleep was approaching the top of my priorities list once more. The umbrella and pan still met with some dexterous manipulation, but only produced a small chang.

We passed from out under the trees that led to the latrine area and into the main clearing that housed tent. A relieved sigh caught in my throat when I saw something dart in front us us and over to the fire pit. Dozens of creatures, furred, scaled, and feathered encroached around the burnt out logs and the small injured boy cowering the center of them, all the conceit in his black eyes turned to fear.

I was in between him the animals in a second. No thoughts other than “Swing!” went through my mind. The pan and umbrella hacked and slashed through the air, bashing things when they could. Hisses and growls greeted my attack and I felt claws rake at my jeans and shoes, the only things keeping me from getting poisoned or worse.

My side began to ache just as feathers, talons, and beaks started to race up from the ground and go for my upper body. My foot flew out and kicked away something before striking the remains of the fire. I’d hoped for embers, but all I got was the cluttering of charcoal and a bit of ash. It was the best I had. Dropping my “weapons,” I grabbed Angel before sprinting back into the tent.

Adrenaline coursing, I twisted around, feeling the burn in my side grow to a flame, and struck out to close the flap. My hand met with whatever the tent was made of and zigzagged around to find some opening, only to feel that it was completely shut already.

“I… I g-got it,” Sweetie quivered. She was standing and shaking even worse than before with tears freely spilling down her face. “J-john, I’m sorry! I…” Whatever composure remained in her completely collapsed and she fell to the ground, sobbing.

Apple Bloom sprung up from over by Pinkie and took Sweetie into a hug, but the latter’s crying continued. Keeping her hold, Apple Bloom looked over to me. Her face was close to the same color it’d been last night, but now her eyes poked out as well.

“What happened?” she hollered. “Why’s Angel with you? And why are you covered in cuts?”

At Apple Bloom’s words, I realized my arms, neck, and the area around my ankles were aching. A glance down revealed blood dripped off my arms and my jeans and socks were stained red. The cuts weren’t very deep, so I wasn’t too concerned, but it didn’t do much to relieve the worry on everyone else’s faces. My focus was on the small boy huddled on the ground.

Angel was in a similar way, on top of all the punishment he’d received last night. Cuts covered him all along that parts of his body that weren’t clothed. My attention mainly went to his bare feet, since those had been relatively unscathed from last night but were now coated in a mix of blood and dirt.

“Crap, where’s the first ai—” Before I could finish, the familiar red and white cross filled my vision. Tentatively clasping it and pulling the kit down revealed Pinkie holding it close to my face.

“I made sure to remember where it was,” Pinkie said in a tone more befitting of Fluttershy.

“Thanks,” I replied. Wasting no time, I turned to Angel, but he backed away as I opened up the kit. “Pinkie, hold him if you have to. We have enough issues without infections.”

Pinkie’s hand shot out and clasped Angel’s arm. He glared at her with a burning ferocity in his eyes, but that evaporated when I plunged an alcohol filled cotton ball onto his foot. He hissed and tensed up, sending a leg into my thigh and further staining my jeans, but I took the chance to lock my cast around both of his legs, leaving only his right arm free.

“Hold still!” I commanded while I fought to hold his flailing legs and get more alcohol on them. Angel wasn’t having it and brought a fist down onto my left shoulder, making me spill a little alcohol on the floor. My teeth came together, and I continued cleaning up his wounds even while he wailed on shoulder.

“Stop it!” Pinkie cried out to Angel, but he wasn’t having it and landed at hit to my face, knocking off my glasses.

Angel’s fist retreated back to land another strike, but I grabbed it. My heartbeat pounded in my head. Every muscle in me wanted to spring up and strike the little bastard. His black eyes looked back at me and I wanted to fight back against him even more, but I just slammed his still curled up fist into the ground and kept it there.

“Enough!” I roared. “You’re gonna sit here and take it! No more punching! No more kicking! Try anything and I’ll throw you back outside myself!”

Silence fell upon the tent again, far more profound than last time. Deflating, I saw that Pinkie had released Angel’s arm and had backed away from us. Small wet streaks glistened down her cheeks. Whatever Sweetie and Apple Bloom did wasn’t clear to me, but the sound of soft cries didn’t leave much to the imagination.

I was about to apologize when I felt Angel’s hand uncurl underneath my own. Looking back up, I saw that his eyes were shimmering with tears on the verge of spilling over.

“Fffff… fflluu…” he choked out. His body slackened and he slumped forward slightly, unleashing a few tears onto the ground. His left hand weakly pointed over to the first aid kit and then flopped to the floor.

That was all the signal I needed and I grabbed the alcohol once more and went back to work. No one said anything else as I tended to Angel. With the wounds clean, I moved onto applying bandages for the smaller wounds and gauze to the larger one or swaths of minor injuries.

When Angel’s cuts were fully covered, I sunk down even further than him with a sigh. By now, my own injuries had stopped bleeding and had darkened in color. Placing my personal concern aside, I turned to see that Sweetie was still in Apple Bloom’s hold, both of their eyes upon me.

“Sweetie, did anything get you?” I rasped.

Sweetie sniffled and reached over to her sleeve, pulling it up and revealing a single red gash on her arm. “Just he—

A voice cut through the night, far sharper than anything that had attacked us. The deep and husky tone could’ve only been Doug’s but the desperation mixed into it was far worse than his earlier cry. Like the grand climax of some tragic opera, he cried out in one single word. “Luna!”

Shots in the Dark

“Luna…” I repeated. The word tumbled out of my mouth, causing fresh goosebumps to rise up across my skin.

“We should go help,” said Apple Bloom, eyes still wide from Doug’s yell but no longer clouded as they’d been when the shout had entered the tent. “If one of the Princesses is here, she’s gotta know a way to find everypony.”

“I don’t know,” Sweetie mumbled, her gaze drifting over to the tent’s exit. “Mr. Doug knew how to deal with the animals out there, but we…”

She trailed off as her focus went down to the scratch on her arm. Tears welled up in her eyes, and Apple Bloom pulled Sweetie into another hug. A silence fell upon the inside of the tent for a moment, broken only by Angel’s and my breaths. At least, until a snore from the Crusaders’ sleeping area echoed through the air.

A sudden frigid chill brushed against my swelling cheek and made me jump slightly. Twisting towards its source, I was met with Pinkie holding up an ice pack where my face had been. In the dark, her eyes were like dimly lit sapphires, moonlight scintillating off them like mirrors . She shuffled over to me and held out the pack.

“Dougie and Fluttershy can tell us what they found when they come back,” she said as I took the pack from her. Turning, she reached over to where I’d left the rubbing alcohol, grabbed the rest of the first aid kit, and prepared a cotton ball to swath wounds. “Getting you patched up back to tip-top shape comes first.”

I placed my hand on hers to keep it from touching any of my cuts. “Get Sweetie first. It’ll take a bit longer with me anyway.”

“Uh…” Sweetie murmured, brandishing a fully bandaged arm.

Before I could ask when or how Sweetie got aid, I gasped as Pinkie dabbed the cotton ball over the first of many, many cuts with a smile.

~~~

Carefully sliding a jacket over my freshly mended arms, I walked back into the main area of the tent. In spite of the cold, Angel was huddled alone in a corner, arms crossed and eyes staring at the ground. Sweetie and Apple Bloom were no longer hugging. They’d stopped that around the time Pinkie had put the fifth smiley face bandage on me. The process had worn on them as much as it had on me, and the way Sweetie’s head was now swaying showed she wasn’t going to be functioning for much longer. The tension in Apple Bloom’s face, her furrowed brow over baggy eyes, and her taut mouth highlighted her exhaustion as well.

Pinkie sat near the center of the tent, rhythmically tapping her thighs and humming a song, hair bouncing along to the beat.

Unceremoniously collapsing down between her and Apple Bloom, I looked over all of them, noting that Sweetie’s eyes were now closed. Resting a hand over my cast, I stared at it and took a deep breath, punctuated by a few rustles from outside.

“I think we should wait,” I sighed.

Apple Bloom’s eyes widened for a brief moment, showing off how red they were. “You want to keep the Princess waiting?”

“School can wait,” Sweetie mumbled, eyes still closed and head bowed.

“I’d go to check myself,” I explained, “but with the animals out there, there’s no way I’m leaving y’all alone. Even if it wasn’t a zoo outside, we’d still have to carry Scootaloo and Sweetie.”

“Iba…” Sweetie slurred before letting out an un-lady-like snore.

“Ooh!” Pinkie exclaimed, waving an arm through the air like student. “That gives us time to get everything ready for when Fluttershy and the Captain get back!”

“I think finding the girls asleep, and us just waiting will be fine,” I sighed.

Apple Bloom crossed her arms and gave a pout. “I’m not going to sleep until they’re back.”

“Okay, well, let’s at least get Sweetie to b—”

A roar of wings flapping, legs scurrying, twigs snapping, and branches bending silenced me. Rushing to my feet, I got between everyone else and the exit, my hand snapping up a nearby suitcase for a weapon. The sounds of the forest continued for a few more tense seconds with none of us saying a word. Yet, as time passed, the explosion of noise faded away, the various howls and calls dimming until even the bushes outside ceased rustling.

The quiet made my heart strum even faster. Had the animals all converged on the tent? Was the tiny bit of the tent’s fabric the only thing shielding me from another assault of claws and fangs? Would the girls be able to get out on time if the beasts fell upon us?

“Hello?” came Doug’s voice from outside.

“Oh, thank god,” I heaved. The suitcase fell out of my grasp and bounced against the ground. Arm now feeling incredibly heavy, I lifted it up and pulled down the zipper of the tent. Shambling forward, I stuck my head out first. “Doug, Jesus, what the hell ha—”

Doug stood a few feet away from the tent, his wide eyes contrasting deeply against the forest’s shadows and the clouded moon. Standing next to him was a young man with hair that meshed into the night and a slender woman with auburn hair. The third unfamiliar person drew my eye because of the shock of magenta in front of her face reflected the moonlight. The rest of the girl’s hair had a purple coloration that reminded me all-too-much of Scootaloo’s original color. Finally, I came upon the fourth new addition: a small child with a shaved head, which made it difficult to tell their gender, that rested in the arms of the unknown woman.

But before I could ask just what was going on, Fluttershy rushed over, gently clasping my good arm and pulling up my jacket’s sleeve, revealing the abundance of childish bandages strewn across my arm. “John! My goodness, you’re hurt!”

Her hand went up and touched the side of my face that Angel had bashed in. It hadn’t swollen up thanks to Pinkie’s ice pack, but Fluttershy’s touch still stung a little and made my left eye twitch, causing her to back away and lower her head.

“A-Angel just got a little u—” Before I could say more, the white devil himself half-darted, half-stumbled out of the tent and embraced Fluttershy in a hug. The little bastard cuddled up to her, playing the innocent game.

“Do you need medical attention?” the unknown man asked, breaking me away from Angel and Fluttershy.

“Angel!” Fluttershy cried. “Oh, you’re hurt too! What happened?”

I thought back to the snake from earlier and the way the animals acted. Fluttershy had told us to stay in the tent and we hadn’t listened. I lowered my head to avoid looking straight at her. “The wildlife went a little crazy.”

“They did what!?” Fluttershy gasped, her face draining of color. “Oh no! Oh no, oh no, oh no, I didn’t want this! I just wanted you all to be safe. I thought maybe…”

I thought for a moment she was about to break down, but instead she took a deep breath and effortlessly picked up Angel. Focus shifting between me and Angel, she muttered, “I’m so sorry. I need to get Angel taken care of.”

Without another word, she slipped into the the tent, lightly brushing against Apple Bloom before disappearing inside.

Apple Bloom scanned over the scene outside with her drooping eyes and then turned to me. “John? What the hay is going on?”

Looking over to Doug, I said, “I’d like to know too. Doug, who are these people and why were you screaming earlier?”

A third question rested on the tip of my tongue, but by now, even talking was getting tiring and I just wanted answers fast. Luna wasn’t here anyway.

“And what about the princess?” Pinkie yelled as she bounded out of the tent.

Doug hefted his shoulders up and sighed. “It’s a long story. The princess is here. So is Twilight, but right now we need to get the injured taken care of.”

“Twilight!” Pinkie surged forward. “Here comes Pinkie!” She reached Twilight and pulled her into a deep hug.

The shades of purple in Twilight’s hair now made sense to me, and I felt like slapping myself for not noticing earlier. The rest of Pinkie’s reunion turned into happy squeals, so I turned away from it and looked to the other adult woman here, mainly her hair. Staring at her, I asked, “You’re Luna?”

The woman gave a giggle and lightly justled the small girl in her arms. “No, she’s Luna.”

I blinked. The little sleeping girl with barely a hair on her head was royalty. Luna— or at least the Luna from the show— made herself known with her over-the-top entrances, her loud voice, and her grandiose manner; this kid looked like she’d stumbled out of Patch Adams. Had the show gotten things wrong there, too? Was Luna really this young? What was Nightmare Moon, then? Questions ricocheted around my mind, which I tried to dismiss with a scratch of my hair, but a dull ache still formed in my head.

“W-what?” Apple Bloom stuttered. “But why does she look my age? And what’s wrong with her mane?” Raising up her arms, she tried to move them in a wave motion, but it came across more as weak flailing. “It’s supposed to be like this and moving all around.”

That answered one question, but still left many in its wake, making my head hurt further.

“This night just keeps getting crazier,” I sighed.

“Tell me about it,” said the woman carrying Luna. She hefted up the sleeping princess and watched the man she’d arrived with go with Doug into the tent. “Looks like we’ll be staying here for a bit. Is there somewhere I can put her down?”

“She can sleep where I was,” Apple Bloom suggested. “I mean… if the Princess is okay with that.”

Luna let out the tiniest of snores.

“I think she’ll be fine,” the woman chuckled before following after Apple Bloom into the tent, leaving just me, Pinkie and Twilight.

“Wow! Everyone sure went inside fast!” Pinkie exclaimed. Crossing her bare arms, she smiled over at me. “Johny-John! Come introduce yourself to Twilight!”

Rolling my shoulder around, I inched over to the two of them and slowly raised up my left hand to Twilight. Close up, the abundance of violet in her hair and eyes was even more evident. She had the look I’d seen many-a-time in the library back at school, especially around finals: eyes sharp yet not piercing, and weighed down slightly by small bags. A good few seconds passed as my hand dangled in the air.

“Uh… guess that wouldn’t be familiar to you.” I recoiled my hand into a pocket. “Name’s John. Relieved to have found another one of you… hope it means we can get ya’ll home soon.”

“You have a similar dialect to locals that lived near M—Nathan’s home.” Twilight swept back some of her mane and blinked. “Excuse me, I’m a bit weathered from travel here… amongst other things.”

Pausing, she tilted her upper body forward, her eyes scanning over me. Her vision lingered on my cast, the bandages on both arms, and finally the bruising on my face. Her left eye twitched slightly. “You look like you’ve been through worse though.”

“Johny-John’s been super strong to help the Crusaders out!” Pinkie exclaimed. I rose a finger and Twilight rose a whole hand to shhh her. Blushing, Pinkie lowered her voice. “Hihi, sorry, I’m just so super duper excited. We’ve almost found everypony! That means that soon we’ll b—”

“Pinkie!” Twilight and I both yelled.

“Sorry sorry! I’ll be more quiet, I promise!” Her arms shot out and pulled us into a hug. “I”m just so happy right now. Being away from friends is the worst!”

“Guh!” I choked.

“Same old… Pinkie.” Twilight coughed.

Relinquishing her hold on us, Pinkie took a step back and allowed Twilight and myself some space. Ignoring the slight ache in my side, I looked over to Twilight and sighed. “Maybe save celebrations and such for the morning. The night’s got me too tired for this, and now probably isn’t the best time to talk. Lord knows I’ll need energy in the morning with this many of us.”

“True,” Twilight replied. “I’ll need to stay up anyway until my, uh, group is done here.”

“Uh-uh-uh,” Pinkie hummed, spinning around and revealing a large backpack strapped to her and another resting at her feet. Twilight’s eyes widened at the sight of the bags.

“How… when…” she rested a hand against her face and massaged her temples. “Not doing that right now.”

With a deep sigh, Twilight went over to Pinkie and opened up one of the bags. She pulled out a piece of long bendable rod similar to the ones Doug had used when setting up our camp. She stared at it for a second before setting it down and fumbling through the bag.

Pinkie set her own bag down and unzipped it, randomly chucking out various bits of it. Glancing down at my cast and the bandages on my arms, I shrugged and turned back to the tent. The flap was open with Apple Bloom standing on the edge of it. Passing her on the way in, I gave her a tap on the shoulder.

“Looks like they could use your help,” I said. “Just don’t stay up too late. I get the feeling tomorrow is gonna be busy.”

Shuffling through the main area, I observed Fluttershy and Nathan still tending to Angel, not even looking up at my entrance. With the bed so close, it wasn’t an issue and sleep was speeding up on my priority list anyway. Slipping into my sleeping quarters, I kicked off my shoes, gently took off my jacket, and climbed into my sleeping bag.

Rise

“Dreamin’ On!” my headphones blared as I turned at the apex of the hill and then back down the road. The marathon’s course had not changed over the past five years but I still always dreaded this detour that took me up away from the straight path to the finish line and into a sharp incline of a hill between two red rock passes. I’d switched from podcasts to music at mile 13 but even that did little to suppress the flames licking at all my muscles and utterly consuming my legs at this point. I knew what awaited me at the end of though, so I maintained my pace and moved forward.

Every year since I’d moved out and things had settled down, it was nice to go through this part of town again. I still had memories of it as a child with the zoo and the mountains whose erosion had left them resembling swiss cheese. It was a chunk of nature smack dab in the middle of several towns.

And it was indeed nature, not just a cultivated patch of land. As I ran by, I saw shapes on the mountains. As I kid, I had known they were bighorn sheep or maybe a coyote, but now I was not sure. There were precautions on the road to keep regular wildlife out, but there were still struggles dealing with what now might be on the hill.

Something glinted to the right. Even with my shades, a spot on one of the peaks’ many crevices shown too bright for me to look at for too long. There was nothing on the mountains to reflect the sun like that. The blazing glow rose into the air and darted off, leaving a fiery trail in its wake. The spot it had appeared still glowed bright but I could make out a large rounded mass that smoked but did not catch aflame.

Do they always have to nest in extreme wildfire danger areas? I pondered before Eagleheart started.

“Oh hell.” I never skipped this song no matter where it played during a race, but it revved me up to the point that my pace could increase by a whole minute.

Concerns about the phoenixes and the other newfound wildlife melted away. My vision narrowed. Even the dull ache in my side that had never seemed to fully fade ebbed.

Down the road I went. There were cheerers everywhere along the path. Every year it seems like there were a few more with hair that, a decade ago, you would have assumed was dyed or a very convincing wig, but that assumption was no longer reliable. If you saw the way they walked and the way they greeted others, you might get a better idea of where they were visiting from, but for now they were just figures in a crowd.

Except for the young woman with mulberry and rose hair. As the song reached its climax, I raised a fist and banged it against hers. Then, I was gone.

~~~

“Well, that sucks,” I said between bites of a sandwich. The caprese from a local shop tasted even better than usual after the race.

“Eh.” A woman with short purple hair shrugged. “There’s always the Running of the Leaves.”

“See you’re still following after Dash and Applejack,” I chuckled.

“Following is definitely the right word,” said a third woman, this one with vibrant crimson hair. “They’ve still got us beat.”

“I hope Trixie is okay,” said the woman with mulberry and rose hair. “It seems like she gets caught in a Fall every year.”

“I think we’ve worked out the major kinks in the system,” I said. “She might want to lay off the disappearing acts. From what you’ve said and I’ve seen, that seems to be the trigger.”

“You know how Trixie is,” Apple Bloom sighed.

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever actually spoken with her.” I stroked my beard. “Probably for the best at least when she first Falls. And we now get y’all back home so fast there’s really no time to talk.”

“Oh!” Sweetie Belle slapped her hands on the table by the pool in the middle of my apartment building. “Maybe you can talk with her at the reunion on Friday…” She glanced over me, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo. “You sure you’re not going to be too sore by then?”

“Eh, I’m used to the soreness and crossing The Divide shouldn’t be too rough. I’ve done it plenty of times at this point.” And yet I still almost always manage to trip over my hooves every time. “As to Trixie, not sure what more I can offer.”

A few years back, when we were still working things out, there may have been doors I could have opened and connections I had that would have sped up the process. My credentials in that field were not earned by any sort of educational background, but by the hands-on experience that luckily only very few humans had experienced. Now though, there were official channels of both pony and human variety, a reporting system, and transport that got anything sapient back to the other side. That is, assuming they do not want to enjoy some trans-dimensional tourism.

Thinking back, my side and arm ached. Those first few days of April nearly ten years ago seemed so quaint now after the Second Fall and the Shattering. Just as it had seemed return was within the ponies’ grasp, all hell had broken loose with Discord chucking us to who-knows-where. Maybe it was the meds or getting shunted across universes but my recollection of the day is still a mess.

And the chaos that had broken out at camp was quickly doused by the nightmare I, Scootaloo, and Fluttershy had found ourselves in. How we had managed to survive the labyrinth keeps me up at night sometimes. I still largely credit Fluttershy for preventing the local giant spider population from killing us and guiding us out.

“Oh yeah, was so focused on getting here in time for the race and then getting ready for it, forgot to ask, any news from that side?” Scootaloo asked.

“I spot a white spider every now and then, but it’s probably too much energy to send anything else right now.” I had managed to find Earth’s “reference” source on the world we had been thrown into, but that accuracy was always suspect. “That world will take a while to recover.”

As the first Fall had proven, the multiverse did exist, but crossing it came with serious issues if proper care was not taken. Done by say, an embodiment of chaos with no preparation or care for safety, the energy conversion of sending over just a single individual body and soul together could be the cosmic equivalent of a 300-pound sumo wrestler cannonballing into a kiddie pool.

As I’d come to learn, only sending a part of a person, namely a soul, mitigated some of these risks but the trans-dimensional migration still packed even souls alone with enough energy to make them a highly coveted resource. Of course, that was only if you knew [i[how to obtain that energy and, so far, I’d only met one individual that could successfully do it: a very powerful spider. I lopped Discord and an insane elf bastard as making sloppy attempts but ultimately failing. It reminded me of the tale of a boy scout that had tried to build a nuclear reactor.

It had been a struggle and we barely avoided getting caught up in a damn war, but it had worked out in the end. Our end at least. I never did learn what fully happened to that world. The excess energy we’d built up was given and Fluttershy, Scootaloo, and I found ourselves smack dab in my parents’ backyard in April 2013. Needless to say, they nearly killed me once they were done crying and thanking G-D I was back.

Other portals were found. Reunions were had and, ultimately, we achieved the Rebuilding. It’s not clear why, but while the other worlds remained locked off, one other universe remained open. There were several theories but, given Discord remained at the center of it, a solid answer would probably never appear, even if he was now on friendlier terms with reality. All that I knew from my end was that while Falls did still occur and that the environments were trading back and forth between worlds, civilizations had learned to deal with it. It seems both ponies and humans share a trait of being really good at adaption.

As a de facto expert, I had been a highly sought resource for the five years following my return. I still got calls and emails every now and then and there were always talks about interviews and book deals, but I’d still wanted to finish my education and get a solid job. Yes, even when Crisis on Infinite Earths decides to pay reality a visit, you still have to pay your taxes.

“How your folks doing?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Still a bit sad Oxford passed but moving on. Other than that, doing okay. Still obsessed with Peloton.”

“Oh.” Apple Bloom frowned. I imagined she was thinking of Winona.

“I still don’t get why humans buy all those machines,” said Scootaloo. “Can’t you go outside to exercise?”

“That’s right,” I chuckled. “You never have been here in the summer.”

~~~

I leaned back in my chair. The boat was too big and too steady for me to feel the waves against it, but my soreness from the race combined with the rush to get as much work done as I could before jetting off to the west coast made my eyelids heavy. Add to that a few dinners with the Crusaders and family earlier in the week and I was ready for a very long weekend.

“You look like you’re ready to hibernate,” said Apple Bloom.

“By the way, no one’s turned into a bear, right?” asked Sam. He had finally accumulated enough PTO and scheduled things for a trip. Neither of us had saved up enough for Japan but thanks to my connections, any venture to our current destination was free once we made it to the coast.

“Not that I can recall.” The conferences, interviews, and certainly the examinations regarding that issue were all still vivid to me. A lot of the terminology was lost to me given its scientific nature but the gist was while there were rare non-pony variants that resulted from crossing The Divide, it was always a sapient creature. “Although surprises seem to be the theme this week.”

Scootaloo scratched her head. “Sorry.”

“I’m not mad.” I’d lost count how many times I’d said it by now. “I get tunnel vision at trials and the courts are open to the public… it’s just some nasty stuff you had to hear.”

Sweetie fidgeted in her seat. “I still don’t understand why humans put all that bad stuff in their bodies.”

“A mystery of time immemorial,” I mused before veering the topic away from work and the vagaries of law. For the next few days, I had no interest in it. Thoughts of my post-Bar stint flashed through my mind. “We are the species that invented Worchester sauce after all.”

“Even Pinkie was stumped how y’all came up with a combo like that.”

We kept up the small talk for a bit. Sweetie focused on a stallion she had her eyes on, Apple Bloom mentioned how she was helping out a bit at the farm, and Scootaloo, after getting a guilty look for Apple Bloom, noted a little extra work was no big deal.

“Good to hear the agency’s branch in Appleloosa is doing well,” I said.

Scootaloo grinned. “Incorporating Buffalo rights was tricky, but it all worked out. Plus, the way they’re able to find human Falls really helps out a lot.”

Though incredibly uncommon, humans could also Fall. It raised the question of what being “spirited away” in the past actually meant. At least now, like with ponies, there was a system in place, with the Crusaders as one key point in it.

As I reminisced on their accomplishments, which seemed far greater than mine just based on the fact they were ongoing, the PA whirled to life.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” came the captain’s voice. “We’re in the final stage of our approach to The Divide. Please remain seated. Regulars will be allowed to move once we’re fully over and the seated sign is turned off. New travelers, please stay seated until registration is complete.”

I glanced out a starboard window. The light that streamed in cast two shadows, Given our approach, there were no bow-facing windows. The crew probably did not mind the constant glare of The Divide but even with shaded windows it would probably bother a passenger. If you just wanted to see The Divide though, there were other ways. On a clear day, you could even see the great glowing prismatic barrier from the shore. Anyone from San Diego to New Zealand could.

The light outside grew brighter. Hairs rose up on my arm. A glistening ethereal wall pushed through wood and steel to appear before us. Sam tensed up beside me. I closed my eyes as The Divide washed over us.

There was a brief sense of freefall. It was as if my head detached from the rest of me. Had I kept my eyes open, I would have been momentarily blinded anyway so no one ever exactly knew what crossing over looked like. It was probably for the best. I had endured enough bodily issues.

It only took a second, and then I felt the seat underneath me. I even felt it more so than before since I had shifted around so a greater portion of my body now took up the seat. That, and there were no longer any clothes between the seat and my hazelnut brown fur.

I gave my neck a crack and flexed the wings at my back. The power of the written word was now a hotly contested topic, but my form on this side largely matched with the avatar I’d crafted from that self-insert when I had just thought ponies were for fun. Like most fanfic authors, I looked on my early works with a bit of nostalgia and cringe. That it had partially become reality made me feel sympathy for Ainz Ooal Gown. At least, tales of the future like his were still highly skeptical on their implications for reality and the multiverse.

“Oh, my stars! You did become a bear!” Sweetie exclaimed before blinking and rubbing her eyes. “Wait…”

I spun to my side and was met with a great hulking figure. Sam was a big guy, but the creature next to me was another story. I didn’t even reach its shoulders. Thick shaggy fur covered it and horns protruding out of its head. Hooves rather than paws marked the ends of its legs. Its beard had grown in size but I could still recognize it.

Sam shook his head— it was not uncommon for first timers to get disoriented. He brought a hoof to his head and, feeling its hardness, pulled back and blinked. “That is freaky.”

“And you win the lottery,” I joked. “Congrats. You managed to become a yak.”

“A what?!”

~~~

Since it was a rare transmogrification, Sam’s registration took a bit longer. Yaks manifested magic through strength though, so dealing with new yak arrivals was not too difficult. I had heard some horror stories about dragon, hippogriff, and changeling arrivals that made a trip to the DMV sound delightful.

While he was being registered, I’d gotten up and still managed to nearly trip out of my seat and headbutt Apple Bloom. An orange wing caught me.

Scootaloo kept me upright and, with my footing secure, followed me outside. Apple Bloom and Sweetie decided to stick with Sam. Going out to the deck, I took in the air. I wasn’t sure exactly what happened to seawater that passed through The Divide, but it had a different scent that I could not describe fully. That or my nose had shifted. Looking ahead, I saw mountains poking over the western horizon. We had been at sea for a few hours. Anyone from a decade ago would assume the captain had gotten seriously lost on the way to Catalina or the sight would have made no sense.

“You didn’t want to ask Sam any questions?”

“You should know how pegasi are by now.” Scootaloo gave her wings, still small for her age, a stretch while I rotated mine around. There were a few other passengers coming out as well, many of them winged. Similar to the cheerer situation, I had a sense of where the passengers came from by the steadiness of their gate. A mare having to nearly swat her colt out of the air was also a good indicator. A natural colt that age would know not to fly but kids often got too excited. It's why any ships crossing over had a special reinforced section for families. It wasn’t quite a brig but in the grand scale of things it was better than having a dragon unfamiliar with fire control light up the boat or an untrained unicorn blast through the hull. I still remember the news stories.

~~~

“Oh, my dear!” Hooves wrapped around Sweetie. Rarity pulled her in and did not seem intent on letting go.

A similar scene played out nearby between Applejack and Apple Bloom.

“Hey, heard you had an unexpected participant in your race,” Dash chuckled while draping a wing across Scootaloo’s back.

“I’m guessing Trixie is already back on the road?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, all her stuff is still in Las Pegasus.”

While the Crusaders reunited, I pulled double duty on mine and Sam’s luggage. I did not mind much since Sam couldn’t carry anything right now anyway. Apple Bloom had offered to show him some techniques while we were here.

A hoof tapped against my shoulder. “Um, do you need any help?”

Fluttershy still had a knack for sliding up close without notice and did not look that much different a decade older. Then again, any ponies’ exact age and the conversion to human years was another mystery still being explored. Naturally, as a gentleman, I was not about to ask.

I hefted my bag over to her since I had exactly what I needed while I guessed from his bag’s weight that Sam had overpacked. “Thanks.”

“It’s really nothing.” Just as Fluttershy took my bag, I saw Angel poke out from her mane. Once again, age was a great mystery since he should have at least appeared elderly at this point, but the bunny appeared spry and there was still a fire in his eyes. He never really had warmed up to me, but I still marked the strained “Thanks” he had whispered to me upon seeing Fluttershy again as a high point in our relationship. “It sounds as though things are well… I was sorry to hear about your dog though.”

“He led a good life,” I sighed. “Anyway, sounds like things are good here. Pinkie still on the mend?”

“Not if I can help it!” a voice exclaimed behind me. I turned and was met with Pinkie… and a bundle around her chest with a tiny yellow head full of bright pink hair sticking out. “Say hi, Little Cheese!”

The foal babbled up at me.

“She’s adorable… do hair genetics work the same for ponies?”

Pinkie shrugged. “It’s funny, Dougie asked the same question.”

“Oh good, he made it…” I glanced over at Sam. “I do now have to wonder why he didn’t end up as a yak too.”

“I do—” Pinkie inhaled sharply. She scooted over to Sam, taking care not to jostle Cheese too much. “A newbie! Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie!”

Sam raised a hoof in a stunted manner. Pinkie grasped it halfway. “Uh, nice to meet you… man that is still weird.”

“I get that a lot. Once you work out all the weird stuff, it’s fun to be a trans-dimensional celebrity!”

“Well, we’ve got plenty of stuff planned and catching up to do, so shall we be on our way?” said Applejack, having hoisted Apple Bloom’s luggage onto a nearby cart. I saw that Rarity and Rainbow Dash had done the same.

“Yep!” came a unified chorus.

As we got into the cart, I watched the Crusaders ascend. On this side, it wasn’t an issue (or I’d at least come to terms with it) so I couldn’t help but notice the sun shine on their marks. A spiderweb partially comprised of feathers for Scootaloo, a human hand holding out an apple for Apple Bloom, and a fusion of a musical note and an olive branch for Sweetie Belle. In the end, we had all been so relieved just to get them back to Equestria it hadn’t been until the morning after that the Crusaders had noticed their marks.

We’d all mistaken their screams of delight for Discord having decided to renege.

I imagined that until a decade ago, such cutie marks could not have existed. After all, what had brought them about did not exist in Equestria.

At that dawn, all of us who had been through the Fall noticed our flanks as well bore images. I still get a chuckle from the irony that while the Crusaders’ were literally marked by their ventures across worlds, the set of wings cradling a star on my flanks probably wouldn’t raise too many eyebrows unless asked about.

“I’m not barging in on the reunion, am I?” Sam asked while Applejack helped him into the cart.

“Bit late to be asking that,” I said. “You’re a friend, Sam, and I don’t think anyone here would have a problem with that.”

Feeling in the mood for it. I kicked off the ground and briefly took to the air. That first feeling of defying gravity still got me. It ended after a glide into the cart, but I knew some full flights lay ahead of me. “So, just lean back, take in everything and enjoy your time here.”

“Wow! I am so stealing that line!” Pinkie exclaimed.

As the cart set off, I looked over its occupants, thought over all that we had seen and been through, and smiled. There had been more struggles than I could count. Times when it seemed we were at a dead end. Yet, we had pushed forward, endured the hardships, and had managed to form a bond that spanned worlds. I still recalled the dawn of that first day here and I saw not just the home the Crusaders had so desperately wanted to return to, but a future of endless possibilities. With the wings at my back, the sky’s the limit.

Author's Note

Wow, a whole decade of writing stories about colorful ponies. It's certainly been a fun ride up to this point.

Looking back on this fic, dang was I a masochist back in the day.

This was a fun little collab at the time and probably my biggest involvement in a community-wide event.

If there's enough interest, I may consider doing a Q&A in the Ponyfall Forum on my takes on how the series as a whole would have ended (and some other fun tidbits)

For now though, on to the next adventure!

Prologue: Fall

The Fall

“Are ya sure this is a good idea Scootaloo?” Apple Bloom nervously asked her pegasus friend as she trotted alongside the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“Who’s a chicken now?” Scootaloo lightly teased Apple Bloom. “Besides, this is where you said your sister went to defeat Nightmare Moon, right?”

“I...I guess,” Apple Bloom stuttered, “but ma sister’s a grown up.”

“I’m with Apple Bloom on this,” Sweetie Belle spoke up. “Rarity said to stay inside before she left. Plus,” Sweetie looked around the dark forest that surrounded the three, “this part of the forest seems even scarier than the rest of the Everfree.”

Scootaloo facehoofed. “Would you two listen to yourselves?!” She stomped the ground and pouted. “We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders! We said we’d brave any challenge, face any danger, and overcome any obstacle until we have our cutie marks!”

“But...” Sweetie started to object.

‘No buts! Now come on!” Scootaloo quickly marched deeper into the forest, while her friends slowly followed her.

“Hey Apple Bloom?” Sweetie asked.

“Yeah?” Apple Bloom replied.

“Did your sister tell you what was going on before she left?”

“No, she just gave me a hug and said everything would be okay, and Applejack never lies.”

“Rarity did the same thing to me.” Sweetie had her eyes on the ground as she trotted.

“I hope everypony’s okay.”

“Me too.” Both fillies had deep frowns on their faces.

After a few more minutes of trotting, the trio came upon their destination. They entered into a clearing which contained an old rope bridge that connected to ancient castle-like ruins. “This must be it!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“I don’t know,” Apple Bloom muttered as she timidly looked up at the looming structure. “Maybe it’ll be better if we come back when the sun’s up.”

“Ugh, this again?” Scootaloo fumed. “If we can find something that can help your big sisters and their friends with whatever they’re dealing with, then we’re sure to get our cutie marks. We might even become heroes!”

“Well...” Sweetie tried to hide her fear. “Let’s just do it quickly and get home before somepony starts to wo-” Sweetie was cut off by the sound of a large explosion.

“W-w-what was that?” Apple Bloom moved closer to her friends as they all saw the clearing above the ruins turn neon pink.

“What’s going on?” Sweetie said as all three fillies grouped together and scanned the forest for danger. Then they heard a sound, a rustling in the bushes. The Crusaders hugged each other.

“I-is it a monster?” Apple Bloom said as her eyes widened.

“W-we’re not afraid!” Scootaloo yelled at the rustling foliage as she tried, and failed, to put on a brave face. “S-show yourself!” The rustling got louder and louder as the Crusaders hugged each other tighter. They backed further and further away from the bushes and closer to the bridge. Then, just as the girls were about to run for it, out of the bush popped...

“A bunny?” Scootaloo said as she quizzically looked at the small rabbit. “We got spooked by a bunny?” The bunny stared at them for a second and then dashed off.

“Bunnies don’t usually make that much rustling th-” Apple Bloom stopped when she saw another bunny dash out of the bushes, followed by another one, and then a whole bunch more.

“What was that about?” As Sweetie pondered why the rabbits had performed a miniature stampede, a hawk whooshed past her.

“Whoa! Did you see that?” Scootaloo watched in amazement as the bird sped off into the pink sky. “It looked like it was doing a Rainbow Dash impression.”

“But I thought hawks only go that fast when they’re hunting prey,” Apple Bloom said as another hawk zoomed past her, followed by some eagles, a bunch of cardinals, and finally a writhing mass that was heading towards them. “Girls! Get down!”

“Why?” Before Scootaloo could ask any more questions, Apple Bloom grabbed her and slammed her to the ground. “What’s the big idea?!” Scootaloo stopped complaining when she saw what was happening above her. Hundreds, maybe thousands of crows, sparrows, pigeons, and other birds tore through of the forest and into the sky. Then, just as quickly as they had come, the birds stopped rushing out of the forest and and an eerie quiet descended upon the woods. The crusaders slowly got up and looked around.

“Is everypony ok?” Sweetie asked as her eyes darted around the forest.

“Yeah,” Scootaloo said as she dusted herself off and turned to Apple Bloom. “Thanks. Those birds probably would have carried me off with them if you hadn’t sent me to the ground.”

“It’s okay,” Apple Bloom replied. “But what was up with that? I’ve never seen birds fly like that before. It was as if they were running from something...” Apple Bloom’s last words trailed as her eyes, along with the other Crusaders’, went wide. A strange light was emanating from the forest now, and it was getting closer.

“W-what... what is that?” Sweetie was shaking as she spoke.

“I don’t know, and I don’t wanna find out!” Scootaloo turned around and started making a beeline for the bridge. “Come on! There’s probably something wrong with the Everfree! Maybe we’ll be safe in the ruins!”

“I... I think we should go home!” Apple Bloom said. She then watched the strange light burst into the clearing they were in and devour the forest, everything it touched disappeared into its glowing maw. All three girls screamed and darted for the bridge. “RUN!”

“Sweetie Belle!” Scootaloo turned her head as she crossed over the bridge. “Can you teleport us or something!?”

“I can’t!” Sweetie yelled. “Teleportation is really advanced! I-” Sweetie tripped on the first part of the bridge. The light consumed her instantly. She didn’t even have time to scream before she disappeared into the light.

“Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom screamed as she stopped running across the bridge.

“Keep running, Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo yelled as she ran further away from the light. “We can’t let it get us, too!”

“But Sweetie’s our friend!” Suddenly, the bridge was no longer under Apple Bloom’s hooves. The light had now devoured a part of the bridge and the ropes were no longer being supported by anything. “Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom screamed as she fell into the chasm.

“Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo yelled back to Apple Bloom as she tried to use her wings to maneuver herself closer to her falling friend. She didn’t even see the light racing towards her. It washed over her, and she disappeared as well.

“Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom screamed. Her eyes teared up as she fell further and further down the chasm. “No! Ma Friends! I... Applejack, help!” was the last thing Apple Bloom said before the light enveloped her as well and the world went dark on her.

Trauma

Why weren’t they moving? Oh, god why weren’t they moving? I spun around like there was a solution, but everything was in chaos. Where was everyone? Where’d Doug gone? Where was a medical kit?

I gasped in pain as my shoulder rammed into a wall. The spin had put me off balanced and the wall was the only thing keeping me up now. I pushed myself off of it and stumbled back onto my feet. “Doug? Jesus! Doug!”

“John!” Scootaloo screamed. She clamped onto my leg and tugged at my jeans. “Help! Use the brown stuff! It helped before!”

“I...” A wave of nausea smacked into me. It was school all over again. He was here. He had to be here to cause this. Scootaloo continued to pull at me, but the chaos continued spreading. Sweetie was curled up in her chair and sobbing into the remains of the tablecloth, Pinkie was immobilized in her seat, and the rest were huddled around Apple Bloom and Angel. Doug was there and tending to them. “Doug! We need a med kit!”

He chucked a pair of keys at me in response.“There’s one in the b... the trunk of the car! With the camping gear!”

On reflex, I reached out with my right hand, but the keys only clattered against my cast. “Crap!” I ducked down and snatched up the keys with my left hand and darted out the door.

I was straining for breath when I reached the car. My side was on fire and my vision wasn’t doing so well either. I glared down at the keys and smashed my finger into the one with the trunk symbol on it. The back door released and I flung it out.

My cast took on a bulldozer nature and plowed through the suitcases while my left hand searched through everything that wasn’t mine. Damn it! Everything is camping gear!

I placed my legs on the edge of the car and dove deeper into the mess of a trunk. I spotted something box shaped and grasped at it. My hand pulled up an empty Coke box, which was quickly flung out of the car. I focused back down again and desperately continued searching.

Red Cross! Come on! Red Cross! My eyes went everywhere in the car. I even looked back to my own luggage to make sure I hadn’t lumped the med kit in with it. I smacked my left hand into the floor in frustration.

The floor shuddered and I spotted a flash of red. I reached out and used my arms to scoop up the entire collection of things in that area. Something jabbed me in the stomach. I recoiled back and saw that I’d hit myself with one end of a bow. I gasped for breath but froze when I saw a tiny white box on the floor. The cross on it shimmered a little in the twilight.

It was in my arms in an instant. I retreated out of the car and slammed the trunk shut. Luggage lay scattered around my feet, but I’d get to it later. I dashed off and back to the room, praying the kit would help.

I stumbled back up the steps and tripped on a few, banging up my knees. My chest was heavy and the hallway back to the room spun. I braced myself against a wall and shambled to the room.

The room number glinted in the fluorescent light and I leaned my weight into the door. I huffed and managed to get the key into the lock and turned the knob.

I lost my balance and little when I entered the room, but I braced my hand against the wall to correct myself. A jolt shot through my arm, but I focused on marching forward. The room was still in chaos. Doug hovered over Angel and Apple Bloom, while the others cowered in various corners. I loosened up and crashed to the ground next to him. “Med kit,” I rasped.

Doug took it out of my hands and propped it open. Free, I raised my hands up and unleashed a fit of coughing into them. When I recovered, Doug was leaning over Apple Bloom’s head. His hands held a threaded needle precariously over a nasty gash.

“I need Fluttershy,” he muttered.

“What?” I asked.

“Get Fluttershy. She can sew... she can do this,” Doug ordered.

I pressed against the floor and managed to heft myself up. Blood rushed to my head and made me stumble a little. My eyes swam around the room Fluttershy, Fluttershy, where?

She was on the side of the room where everything had started. She crouched next to Sweetie and had an arm draped over the filly’s back.

“My fault...” Sweetie sobbed.

“N-no... please, be... be brave,” Fluttershy replied. I couldn’t tell which one of them was worse. The table at least hid most of Sweetie’s face, but Fluttershy’s eye were red and puffy and her whole face was contorted with panic.

“Fluttershy...” I coughed, “Doug needs your help.”

“I...” Fluttershy recoiled from my voice. Her body shook, but she suddenly stood up. She lowered her head to Sweetie and rubbed her back. “I’ll be back.”

In an instant, she flew across the room and went to Doug’s side. That left me over by the table with Sweetie still in the midst of her breakdown. I pulled out a chair, wiped the glass off of it with my cast and seated myself next to her. “Sweetie?”

She clutched what was left of the tablecloth and twisted away from me. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Please!”

Whatever else she said was an unintelligible wail. I hesitated for a moment, but then placed my hand on her back like Fluttershy had done. “Sweetie, it’ll be okay.”

“No!” she cried. “I... I hurt them!”

“Christ,” I cursed. In the corner of my eye, I spotted Pinkie and Scootaloo still standing aghast at the scene. I turned away from Sweetie and over to them. “Pinkie, Scootaloo, can you come over here?”

Scootaloo darted over in an instant. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Just...” I grasped for answers and looked back and forth between Scootaloo and Sweetie. “Just be here.” I rubbed Sweetie on the back. “Like this.”

“O-okay...” Scootaloo awkwardly reached out a hand and placed it on Sweetie’s back. “Sweetie?” She got a muffled moan in response. “H-hey... It’s not like we haven’t gotten hurt before.”

Sweetie suddenly reared her head up and glared at Scootaloo. “I did this!”

“No you didn’t!” Scootaloo screamed back. Tears trickled down her face. “I dragged us to the forest! If we’d just stayed safe...”

“No one is blaming anyone,” I stuttered. Sweetie and Scootaloo looked at me with grief stricken faces. “Please, it’s gonna be okay.”

“B-but I...” Sweetie started to sob.

“It’s not your fault,” I replied. My hand tightened around Sweetie and I brought her in for a hug. “It’s not.”

Sweetie’s hands reached out and clutched my shirt for support. Scootaloo got closer and hugged her as well. I looked up. “Pinkie?” I called out. “Sweetie could really use some hugs right now.”

Pinkie blinked and craned her head in our direction. She then silently drifted over and slumped next to us, joining in with hugging Sweetie. It wasn’t hard to notice the tears at the corners of her eyes.

“I drank all the Coke,” Pinkie groaned miserably.

“We... we can get more?” I half-asked, half-suggested.

Pinkie said nothing more and buried her head into Sweetie side. Unsure what to do, I remained quiet while holding the hug, but allowed my eyes to wander back over to Doug. He was still dangling over Apple Bloom, but the needle was now in Fluttershy’s hands and making its way across the gash on Apple Bloom’s head.

“John?” Scootaloo’s voice brought me back over to our group. “Apple Bloom will be fine, right?”

“Yeah,” I automatically answered. “I got through worse and I made it out.”

“But you’re a grown-up,” Scootaloo replied. Tears were welling up in her eyes again.

Sweetie gave another sob, but I brought my cast away from her over to Scootaloo’s back. “I am, but Apple Bloom could probably give most grown-ups a good fight.”

“John,” Doug called out. I broke my attention away from the hug and over to him. Angel was cradled in his arms. Fluttershy and Apple Bloom were at his side, with the latter’s wound stitched up, but she was still unconscious. “These burns need to be dealt with and it’s going to be a while.” He waved his hand over Pinkie, Sweetie, and Scootaloo. “I think you all could use a break. Maybe get some rest and fresh air. The beach isn’t too far from here. Might be relaxing.”

“No way,” Scootaloo argued. She jabbed a finger at Doug. “I’m not going until Apple Bloom is okay.”

“Fine, you can help,” Doug replied to Scootaloo. “The others need a break though.”

“Doug...” I took in the scene for a moment. “I think we need to go to a hospital.”

Fluttershy abandoned her position next to Apple Bloom and made a beeline over to our group. She put a hand on Pinkie’s shoulder and another on Sweetie’s back. She slowly lifted her head and looked directly at me. “John, can you please take my friends away for a while?”

Her vision shifted down to Sweetie, but her speech was still directed at me. “I-I know you’re worried. We all are. But more than two of us have been hurt today...”

“If...” I glanced down to Pinkie and Sweetie. Both were still sobbing. “If that will help.”

Fluttershy smiled in response and returned to Doug’s side. I patted Sweetie and Pinkie on the back. “Hey, Fluttershy had a really great idea. Let’s take a short walk by the beach.”

“B-but everypony,” Sweetie stuttered.

“Is going to be fine,” I finished. “Doug knows what he’s doing and Fluttershy is helping.”

“Well...” Sweetie raised up her head and sniffled. “If Fluttershy is helping..."

“That’s right,” I nervously replied and stood up. “So lets just go outside. I’ve heard that nights are very nice here.”

~~~

Sweetie and Pinkie’s legs were unsteady all the way down to the lobby. I supported both of them with my left side, which made me cough a bit. They detached away from me, but remained close once we were outside. I sucked in the cool night air and regretted still not taking my pills. There was now a constant throb in my side.

We walked away from the hotel along a sidewalk that led to the beach. It reached a point where it went from perpendicular to beach to parallel with it and I chose to go in the direction of the rising moon.

Sweetie stayed close at my side while Pinkie trailed a little behind me and to the left, closer to the street than the beach. Above, the stars were already glimmering and the moon illuminated the beach. “Nice night?”

Neither former pony replied. I reached out and tapped Sweetie on the back. “Ya know, the stars are totally different here.”

“I know,” Sweetie moped.

“Well... um, did you know it’s Fall here right now?” I meekly asked.

Pinkie sped up and gave me a confused look. “Isn’t it Fall everywhere?”

“No,” I replied. “It’s actually Spring where I’m from.”

“So...” Pinkie leaned closer and narrowed her eyes. “People change seasons at different times here?”

“It’s not up to us.” I stopped and made my way over to the sand. With my foot, I drew a two crude circles, one bigger than the other. I bent down and traced out the words “sun” and “earth” as well. “See, we go around the sun at a certain angle so that half the world gets hotter during this part of the year and the other half gets cold.”

Pinkie and Sweetie squatted down next to the drawing and stared at it. Sweetie continued to look baffled but Pinkie raised her head up after a moment. “That’s really weird, how do you plan holidays out then?”

Despite the curiosity in her voice, her eyes looked tired and dull. I reached out my hand and drew a smaller circle next to “Earth.” “Two ways, we either watch the moon change from new to full or we count by days.”

“That’s confusing,” Sweetie sighed. She shuffled forward and began to walk ahead.

“Could be worse,” I called out. An odd tidbit my mind latched onto made me chuckle out of desperation. I traced two half ovals on the top and bottom of my “Earth” circle. “Some places have no days or nights because of where they are.”

“What?” Pinkie asked.

Sweetie placed a hand against her head and said something I didn’t quite catch. I did hear the word “home” though.

“Sweetie?” I nervously asked. “Do you want to learn about some other stuff?”

“I do,” said Pinkie. “Dougie never really told us that much.”

~~~

The sand next to the sidewalk was now dotted with rough lines, circles, and other various shapes. I’d given up squatting and had taken up sitting in the sand. Pinkie traced out something that was either a circle or a hexadecimal and looked over to me. “That’s why those types of balloons don’t work.”

I rubbed my chin and stared at the assortment of shapes Pinkie had added to the sand “mural.” “When you explain it, it does make a little more sense.”

“Can we go back?” Sweetie asked. She pushed herself up from her seat in the sand and brushed the sand off her clothes with clenched fists. “I... I want to go back.”

I tilted my eyes up to the sky. The moon was nearly over our heads now. “Sure.” A light breeze blew through the beach and prickled my skin. “It’s getting a bit cold out.”

We all sat up and got back onto the sidewalk. Pinkie kept pace with me this time while Sweetie took the lead. I actually had to lengthen my stride to keep up with her.

Sweetie quickly glanced back at me. “John... Apple Bloom will be okay, right?”

“I trust Doug,” I replied. “He sounds like a pretty do-it-yourself guy.” My eyes drifted over to Pinkie. “That sound about right?”

Pinkie slowly nodded. “He... he cares. I mean, he’s totally a grump about weird things like clothes and the internet, but he knows his stuff. I’m not quite sure what that stuff is, but it’s good.”

“See?” I gave Sweetie a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “It’ll be fine.”

“No.” Sweetie shivered and crossed her arms against the breeze. “Apple Bloom is going to hate me.”

Pinkie and I stopped, and I bent down to Sweetie’s level. “Tha—”

“That’s not true!” Pinkie interrupted. “We all know you never wanted to hurt Apple Bloom.” She leaned closer and wrapped her arms around Sweetie. It gave me a clear view of the tears rolling down her cheeks.

“She...” I looked back and forth between the two of them. “She’s right. It was a accident, Sweetie.”

~~~

The rest of the trip back to the hotel was silent, save for the occasional sniffle from Sweetie. Pinkie wasn’t in much better shape. At the door, I held up an arm to halt them. “I’ll go check on things first.”

I slowly pushed the door open and poked my head inside. The room was quiet too, which relieved me a little. Calm meant things were in some form of control. I stuck my hand out into the hallway and ushered Sweetie and Pinkie in, but raised a finger to my lips.

We tiptoed through the entrance and into the sitting area. One of the bedroom doors creaked open and Fluttershy slid out. “Oh... it’s you... did you have a nice walk?”

“It was... okay.” It was difficult to tell whether it was my side or the lie that made my stomach twist in a knot.

“Why don’t you go get some rest?” Fluttershy suggested and gestured over to the empty bedroom. “Everyone needs their sleep right now.”

Sweetie beat me to the the question that hung over all our heads. “W-what about Apple Bloom and Angel?”

“Oh...” Fluttershy’s eyelids drooped a little and her face softened. “They’re just resting, and so should you.” She glided over to us and gently nudged Sweetie over to the bedroom while Pinkie and I followed her. She helped Sweetie under the covers but left them open for Pinkie to join her.

I stood above the bed, torn about whether to stay up or not, but seeing it right there after the trip and recent events was too much. My frayed mind still had enough sense to turn away from the bed and leave it to the girls. I sighed and stumbled back into the sitting room and flopped onto the couch. I took off my glasses and closed my eyes.

~~~

I awoke to the sound of muffled footsteps. I twisted my upper torso towards the sound and was met with Fluttershy carrying Scootaloo into the bedroom. Maybe it was a dream and maybe it wasn’t, but my eyelids clamped down and I fell back into sleep.

~~~

This time, the sound of a spring coil scrunching woke me up. It was coming from the room I hadn’t ventured into. I lumbered to my feet and made my way over to the door that separated the rooms. My hand hesitated against the doorknob for a second, but I breathed in deeply and entered the room.

Doug sat in a chair, but it was clear from the slump of his back and his snoring that he was out like a light. Despite this, one of his hands was still outstretched and clasped Apple Bloom’s.

Apple Bloom was a little pale in color, but it was an improvement over the horrific mess from earlier. Her bedsheets rose and fell with each breath. The fact that that was noticeable took a little weight off my shoulders.

I heard a noise again and looked down. Angel had his elbows pressed against the bed and was doing the saddest army crawl I’d ever seen. He shifted around to try and get off his pillow and closer to the door, but he only managed to squirm a little. His teeth were bared and eyes completely on the door.

I went to my knees and stared at him. “Take it easy,” I whispered. “You’re hurt.”

“Fffff.... ffoooo,” he rasped back at me, not taking his sights off of the door.

I recalled our earlier encounter and got in front of Angels face. “Fluttershy will be fine, but not if you hurt yourself again. Please, rest,” I pleaded.

Angel glared at me for a moment and then buried his face into a pillow. Another rasp escaped from him mouth, but this time it was very soft. It reminded me of the time Kloe got sick in the car. I considered my options and slowly crept over to a nearby wall and leaned against it. “She’ll be happy to see you in the morning though.”

Angel didn’t stop making the sound for a while. When he finally stopped, I sighed and slid down the wall. Even plaster and carpet felt nice now. I closed my eyes once more and fell asleep. I could have sworn I heard Apple Bloom’s voice, but it may have just been another dream.