Twilight Sparkle Buys Some Doughnuts

by ssjgokillo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Comedy, Random
Length: 2401

Twilight buys some doughnuts. This somehow ends up with her covered in cream, and agreeing to accompany Rainbow Dash on a date. Because of reasons.

Twilight decides to get some doughnuts for breakfast. On her way out, she runs into Rainbow Dash, and decides to share her new found pastry wealth with her friend.

So why does she spend the rest of the day dodging cream projectiles as she runs around Ponyville?

A Twidash story with no dialogue on the premise of getting breakfast! This is obviously a keeper.

Also, challenge mode: Read this story without thinking that half of it is innuendo.

Written for Bassie and Surry's Twidash Army Second Group Contest

Cover art by Shion

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-15 20:20:04 UTC

The One and Only Chapter

        Twilight Sparkle woke up one day with a hankering for doughnuts. This was a strange occurrence, as this was normally the day Twilight Sparkle would wake up with a craving for fruit-covered pancakes. What made such an event even stranger was that Twilight decided to ignore the fact that she should, in fact, be hungry for fruity pancakes, and decided she would go to the bakery and get some doughnuts.

        She woke Spike up, to inform him of her agenda, which consisted of buying doughnuts and then eating them. Spike, who was not awake enough to realize that today should have been pancake day, simply nodded, and agreed to not set fire to the tree they lived in while Twilight was gone.

        With her home secured from dragon-fire disasters, Twilight ventured out on her quest for pastry perfection. As was her routine, she went over a checklist in her head, which consisted of the following:

        1. Wake up

        2. Go to Sugarcube Corner

        3. Buy doughnuts

        4. Eat doughnuts

        5. Revise checklist to account for the remainder of the day.

        Like with the situation earlier, Twilight Sparkle should have found it odd that she had only accounted for the beginning of her day. Normally the mare wanted to account for every second of the day, having things as rigorously scheduled as possible. Yet the lack of planning did not seem bother her. There was simply something about the day, something Twilight could not put her hoof on, that made everything seem like it would be alright.

        So she made her way to Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville’s premier pastry purveyor, and then giggled at the alliteration she had just made in her head. If a pony or two stopped to give her an odd look due to her unexplained laughter, she paid them no mind. After all, today was simply the kind of day where it seemed like nothing could go wrong.

        Once she arrived at her destination, Twilight quickly made her way inside. She was immediately assaulted by the sugary smells of the various baked goods that were presented on the shelves and in the cases of Sugarcube corner. There were cakes of every kind, from carrot to angel and even some in the pop variety; muffins and cupcakes stood side by side, baked brothers in arms. And finally, Twilight’s eyes alighted onto her current objective: doughnuts.

        A veritable army of deep fried doughy goodness was laid out before her. Maple bars and cream-filled, bear claws and glazed, even some simply frosted with sprinkles, all arranged neatly on tray after tray. A rainbow of sugary delights was laid out before her, waiting for her decision. Which ones would be the lucky few? The ones that would fulfill their purpose, transcending from sugar and fats into energy that would be used to sustain a living being?

        It was almost too much for Twilight! How could she just choose a couple, or even a dozen? These doughnuts were prepared to give their very existence to sate her hunger! Was she truly worthy of such a sacrifice? What gave her the right to decide which doughnuts would finally end their long journey?

        She quickly calculated her own hunger and estimated what Spike’s was likely to be by they time she returned. Even if the dragon was ravenous, there was no way the two of them could finish off an entire bakery’s worth of doughnuts. It was with a heavy heart that she came to the realization that she would have to chose, as unfair as it was.

        Deciding on an even split between glazed doughnuts and cream-filled, Twilight made her selection known to Mrs. Cake, who had been watching Twilight’s doughnuts induced existential crisis with a mixture of amusement and worry. She was all to happy to fill a box with the doughnuts Twilight had indicated, if only to keep Twilight from going into one of her legendary “episodes”.

        Twilight thanked Mrs. Cake, and secured the package of doughnuts in her magical grasp. She cast one last regretful glance at the brave baked goods that remained in the case, before making her way into the bright morning air of Ponyville…

        And right into the bright blue fur of her friend, Rainbow Dash. The sudden impact caused each mare to lose their balance, flailing around for a few seconds to keep from falling over. Thankfully, Rainbow Dash had the reflexes of a cat, and was able to right herself quickly, before reaching over and steadying Twilight. Disaster averted, and the doughnuts were still intact!

        Twilight smiled thankfully at Rainbow Dash, and decided to show her appreciation by allowing Rainbow Dash to chose one of the doughnuts that she had purchased. She opened the box, letting the sweet smell wash over the two of them. Rainbow Dash’s stomach groaned loudly, and she gave an embarrassed smile, as she looked over the selection.

        She chose one of the cream-filled ones, topped with blue frosting. It was a pity, as that was the one Twilight herself had been planning on eating, but she supposed it was a noble sacrifice; helping her hungry friend and rewarding her savior at the cost of one delicious looking doughnut.

        To her surprise, and partial disgust, Rainbow Dash shoved the whole doughnut in her mouth. The entire pastry was too big to fit inside, so part of it stuck out as she began chewing. Flakes of frosting fell to the ground, before a particularly hard bite caused some of the cream filling to shoot out of the doughnut.

        *SPLAT*

        Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened, and she slowly swallowed the food she’d been massacring. Twilight’s own eyes stood open in surprise, as she tried to look at the trails of white cream that now stained the tip of her muzzle.

        The corners of Rainbow’s mouth twitched. She began shaking with effort, before she fell to the ground laughing. She pounded the ground with one hoof, using the other to point and Twilight’s face.

        Twilight narrowed her eyes. So this was the thanks she got for sharing a treat with her friend? Well, two could play at that game!

        Had Rainbow Dash not been so busy laughing at Twilight’s misfortune, she may have noticed the glow box of doughnuts opening. She may have been able to run before two cream-filled pastries were levitated over her head. If nothing else, she may have been able to dodge as the magic holding the doughnuts compressed, causing the cream-filling to spill across her face.

        Rainbow Dash’s laughter stopped abruptly. Ponies who had been nearby stared wide-eyed, as Twilight Sparkle looked down victoriously on her cream stained friend. One mare hurried her foal away, who was staring at the spectacle and wondering why he never got to play with his food like that.

        Rainbow Dash’s brought a hoof to her face, pulling it away when she felt the cream on it. She looked at Twilight with such an expression of incredulity, that Twilight couldn’t help but begin to giggle, which turned into full blown laughter.

        Which was rudely interrupted, as a bolt of cream hit across her face. She blinked, before glaring at Rainbow Dash. The pegasus had wiped a hooful of cream off her own muzzle, and used it in an ill-begotten attempt at revenge. Rainbow Dash quickly realized why exactly this had been a bad idea, when three more doughnuts levitated out of the box Twilight had been carrying.

        The few ponies who had remained in the area quickly decided that they had business elsewhere. Perhaps all the way in the Crystal Empire, or anywhere sufficiently far away from Ponyville.

        With a war cry Twilight hadn’t used since she’d last played Oubliettes & Ogres with Shining Armor, Twilight let loose the doughnuts of war. Yet more doughnut filling sailed through the air. Rainbow Dash wasn’t going to be a stationary target though. She quickly took to the air, flying up a good distance before turning to gloat at her terrestrial-bound friend’s missed attack.

        Only to be hit square in the face with magically guided cream.

        Twilight smiled smugly at her flying friend. She had figured Rainbow Dash would try to dodge the attack, but would not likely expect Twilight to catch the cream with her magic, before slinging back at her.

        Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at Twilight. The unspoken statement was clear between them. This. Meant. WAR!

        In a blur of colors, Rainbow Dash shot past Twilight and into Sugarcube Corner. Realizing what this meant, Twilight quickly scanned the area for cover. Her search was for naught however, as Rainbow Dash quickly exited the bakery, her own box of doughnuts tucked under her wing.

        Twilight suddenly regretted that half of her order had been glazed doughnuts. As it was, she was out of ammo.

        With impressive dexterity, Rainbow Dash used her wings to grab multiple doughnuts, curling her feathers around them and trying to ignore the feeling of sugar and icing that was beginning to coat her wings. Holding four doughnuts in each wing, she smirked at Twilight.

        So Twilight did the only thing she could do.

        The mare in purple fled across Ponyville, and the pastryslinger followed.

        Twilight ran, hearing the splattering of doughnut innards behind her. She weaved back and forth, trying her best to not fall into a pattern that Rainbow Dash could predict. So far she had heard Rainbow Dash fire three doughnuts, meaning she should only have nine left. If she could just keep dodging, Rainbow would run out of firepower soon enough.

        *SPLAT*

        She felt something warm and sticky land right above her cutie mark. She spared a glance behind her, and momentarily panicked when she saw the red stain running down her side. Thankfully, she realized, it was only some sort of jam filling. Which would also take forever to wash out of her coat.

        Rainbow Dash gave a laugh behind her, and Twilight found herself struggling not to giggle. Of course, this fight would be decidedly one-sided if Twilight wanted to be serious about it. A simple shield spell, and then using her telekinesis to burst the doughnuts that Rainbow Dash had would quickly end the chase. But where would be the fun in that?

        Shot after shot was fired, with Twilight just barely dodging out of the way of the delicious projectiles. Soon however, Twilight began to realize a fatal flaw in her plan. She was a student, a researcher, and did not have the stamina that an athlete like Rainbow Dash possessed. She would not be able to keep going like this.

        She quickly snapped out of her thoughts, as she realized that she had run down an alleyway that was a dead end. Her eyes widened in the realization that she hadn’t been dodging the shots fired by Rainbow Dash. No, the wily pegasus had been herding her, just barely missing her to drive her into a corner. It was a simple, yet effective plan.

        Twilight sighed, and turned to face her opponent. It had been a long, sticky battle, but it was at an end. There was a bit of peace in that. The knowledge that she did not have to run any longer, that she did not have to fight. She could rest.

        Rainbow Dash steadily approached, looking much like one of the jungle cats that would stalk Daring Do in one of her adventure books. The smile she gave Twilight spoke of her impending victory, of a huntress claiming her hard sought prize.

        For her part, Twilight would meet the end with dignity. She would not cower, she would not beg. She stood steadfast in the face of sticky terror, resolute in the knowledge that she had done her best, and that a shower would be sorely needed.

        Rainbow Dash leveled the last doughnut at Twilight, a wicked smile stretched across her cream stained muzzle. The air was thick with tension, and the smell of sugar.

        Of course, Twilight’s stomach had to ruin the mood by giving off a grumble that would have scared a full grown dragon.

        Twilight blinked in surprise, realizing she hadn’t actually eaten any of the doughnuts she had purchased. She looked back up sheepishly at Rainbow Dash, about to apologize for her stomach’s unthoughtful announcement.

        Her apology was silenced before it even began, by the doughnut that was unceremoniously shoved in her mouth.

        She tried to sputter around the round pastry, but the second her tongue brushed against the deep fried dough she was lost. She tore into the baked good with a frenzy that made Rainbow Dash’s earlier table manners look posh by comparison.

        After mere seconds, the doughnut was finished, and Twilight gave off a sigh of contentment. And then a large, embarrassing burp. She quickly covered her muzzle, her face red and feeling mortified.

        Rainbow Dash simply laughed, and pushed her hoof away. Twilight gave a small, embarrassed smile in return. Which turned into a confused frown as Rainbow Dash leaned closer to her.

        She gave a (very marely) squeak when she felt Rainbow Dash’s tongue run across the top of her muzzle. She starred in a mixture of fascination and shock as Rainbow Dash licked a trail of cream that had landed there. Twilight could feel her skin almost burn under the agonizingly slow caress of Rainbow Dash’s tongue.

        The moment soon passed, and Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash in confusion. Rainbow Dash was wearing a matching blush now, but there was a hopeful gleam to her eyes, along with a hunger that Twilight was certain had nothing to do with breakfast foods.

        Slowly, hesitantly, Twilight leaned forward. With a jerky motion she quickly licked a bit of cream that had landed on Rainbow Dash’s cheek, before pulling away and trying to see if her face could glow brighter than the sun.

        Rainbow Dash’s entire body went rigid at the sudden contact. Twilight was fairly certain that a light breeze would have pushed the pegasus over. Then, she smiled at Twilight, and nuzzled against her neck. They both made a face when the felt the sticky matting of each other’s fur, quickly pulling away. Once again, no words needed to be spoken. There were a lot of things they knew they needed to discuss, but right now they knew the most important thing.

        They both really needed a shower.