Chapters Chapter 1: Running Into Worlds
Some legends are told,
Some turn to dust or to gold,
But you will remember me.
Remember me for Centuries!
I remember quite well what was playing on my iPhone that morning. I remember the felling of the early-morning sunrise and the light breeze which accompanied my daily exercise. As the music rang through my ears and lifted my spirits, I began jogging down the very familiar dirt road. It was the same path I had traveled down every morning for the past two years. The path was an extension of the running experience, quite, serene, peaceful. Just the road and me.
My daily routine had been consistent since I had secured my job. Wake up, drive to this country road, run five miles, head home, shower, go to work. I liked to think that a regular exercise routine helped me in my daily life. I didn’t need a bunch of fitness freaks and magazines to tell me that.
But on top of the endorphin-releasing part of the exercise, I just loved to run. Ever since middle school and high school, participating in track and cross country, I enjoyed the feelings I experienced while running. I wasn’t always the best or the fastest, but the competition was secondary. Getting my limbs moving, hitting the peak of my stride, taking in the full breaths, it was almost a sort of high.
On this run, I was poetry in motion. My shoulders and pecs flexed around my white, sleeveless, Under Armor workout shirt, my sleek, white, iPhone securely strapped to my upper arm, blaring the music of my workout, my thighs popped with each stride through the black Nike shorts, my feet landed each graceful plant and push-off in my black-and-white Nike running shoes. I could tell from the start that this was going to be a good run.
When you run the same route every day, you naturally begin to believe that nothing can surprise you. You know that the big Doberman that one family keeps is going to bark at you. You know to take a left at the fork, because the right leads to a dead-end.
That being said, even an expert runner like me can have something sneak up on them. I had almost finished my run and was in the home stretch. Then, before my eyes, I saw a flash of purple light. Unfortunately, the light was so close that I couldn’t stop myself from running straight into it. The moment after I hit it, my next step landed not on dirt, but grass. I barely noticed this, as my eyes were still partially-blinded from the earlier light. The next step, however, was the real doozy.
*SLAM*
My face met with something hard and wooden. The collision dazed me, and I fell right on my back. I was seeing stars, but could make out the shape of a door which I had just tried to break down with my face. Instinctively, I brought my hand up to my forehead to find that I was bleeding. At the same time, I heard what I believed to be footsteps heading toward the door from the other side. The door swung open, and a female voice spoke.
“Oh my, are you alright?”
After blinking a few more times to gain my bearings, I case my gaze upward at who was speaking to me.
My first reaction was that she wasn’t human. She had gray fur covering her entire body, from her horse-shaped head to her hooves. As I tried to piece together what this creature was, I took in the rest of her. She was wearing a white t-shirt that was either one size too small, or she wasn’t wearing a bra, as her bust moved every time she made the slightest motion. She also had on a pair of denim Daisy Duke shorts. I noticed that she had hair on her head, as well as a tail, that were long and blond. Ending my gazing at her face, I noted that her eyes were of a similar golden color, though her pupils were crossed.
“Well…I…,” I stuttered, attempting to answer her initial question with little success.
“Oh Celestia, you’re bleeding.”
She was correct, and I could do little to protest as she came to my side and pulled up all 6-2 210 of me a lot easier than I would have expected. Soon, I was through the door into what I could only assume was this creature’s home, and plopped down onto a navy blue couch.
“Now you stay here,” she ordered, “I’ll go get something for your head.”
I nodded wearily, as my bearings began to return. They did so just in time for me to turn toward the creature helping me and notice something very peculiar. On her back, coming through a pair of holes in her shirt, was a pair of feathery, gray wings. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.
For a short time, the winged creature left me on the couch in the living room. I could hear the water running from the kitchen. Mere moments after the sound of running water ceased, the female returned to my presence, holding a white washcloth. She wasted little time sitting on my immediate right and dabbing the warm washcloth on the cut right above my right brow.
“Oh good,” she said with a sigh of relief, “the cut’s not as bad as I thought.”
She followed this observation by drying the injured patch of skin and applying a sizable bandage over the abrasion.
“Thank you,” I smiled, turning my head to face my nurse, “May I ask your name?”
“I’m Ditzy Doo,” my companion replied with a cheerful smile, “Who are you?”
“Name is John Pearson,” I replied, extending a hand toward Ditzy, which she eagerly shook, “Now, if you don’t mind me asking, where am I and what exactly are you?”
“You’re in Ponyville,” Ditzy replied with the same, never-fading smile, “and, to be honest, I was going to ask you the same question. What are you? I’ve never seen anything like you in Equestria before.”
“I’m a human,” I said, a little put-off that she didn’t answer the other half of my question, “How do you not know what that is?”
That’s when the alarm bells went off in my head. I wasn’t having a conversation with another person. I was having a conversation with some kind of alien creature who didn’t even know what humans were. I jumped off the couch in panic, instinctively running my fingers through my short, brown, hair as a comforting gesture.
“What the hell happened?!”
“Calm down, John,” Ditzy responded, rising from the couch herself, “Everything is alright.”
With that, she stepped forward and threw her arms around me in a hug. As she was quite a bit shorter than me, she pressed the side of her head into my sternum and embraced me back to a calm state. Once I regained my senses, I realized how soft and warm Ditzy felt. Without even thinking, I reciprocated the embrace, placing one hand on the back of her head, and the other in the middle of her back, just below her wings. I still didn’t know what this creature was, but I knew that being held by one felt nice, and holding one felt right.
“Ditzy,” I asked once I had completed returned to a stable state, “what exactly are you?”
“I’m a pony,” she replied without moving her head, “a Pegasus pony, to be exact.”
This information finally made me release the embrace. I stepped back and looked Ditzy over again, which made her giggle. Contrary to what she was probably thinking, I was not checking her out, only double checking to make sure that my post-impact eyes and my recovered eyes were seeing the same thing.
“There are ponies where I come from, too,” I explained, “but they don’t look anything like you.”
“What do they look like?”
“Well, for one, they stand on four hooves, instead of two. They don’t have hands with thumbs, and they certainly never have breasts.”
Ditzy giggled again, “You’re funny, John, I’ve never heard of things like that before. What about pegasi and unicorns? I guess they look different where you’re from too.”
“Pegasi and unicorns don’t exist in my world,” I explained, but then paused, “Wait, are you telling me there are unicorns in Equestria?”
As if on cue, the front door opened. Ditzy and I turned to face the two individuals standing in the doorway. One was purple and of Ditzy’s height and cup-size, wearing a matching sun dress. The other was significantly shorter, and obviously younger, with grayish purple fur and a blonde mane. Their most interesting feature, to me anyway, was the horns coming from their foreheads, in colors which matched their fur.
“Mommy,” the shorter one cried, running up to Ditzy and hugging her legs and torso, as children are wont to do.
“And how was my little muffin’s day at school,” Ditzy asked.
“Umm, Ditzy,” the older unicorn interrupted, pointing at me, “Who is this?”
“Oh, that’s John,” Ditzy said out-of-hand, as if we hadn’t just met thirty minutes ago, “Oh, how rude of me. John, this is my step-daughter Amethyst Star, and this little muffin,” she tousled the small one’s mane, “is my daughter Dinky Doo. Dinky, Amethyst, this is John Pearson, he’s, umm, new to Ponyville.”
“New to Ponyville,” Amethyst questioned, crossing her arms over her chest, “if you ask me, he looks like he’s new to Earth.”
“Earth,” I mused aloud, “you all call your world Earth? That’s funny, that’s exactly what humans call our planet.”
“Your planet,” Amethyst asked with a raised eyebrow, “So you’re kind of alien?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that exactly. I’m not sure how I even got here.”
“Ooh, mommy,” Dinky piped up, “has Pinkie come by yet? You know she always does when there’s somepony new in town.”
“You’re right muffin,” Ditzy mused, “wonder what’s taking her so long? Usually, she would have barged in by—”
Ditzy was interrupted by a very fast knocking at the door. I was beginning to think that these ponies had the best sense of timing in the universe.
Amethyst turned around and opened the door, revealing two ponies standing there. The one on the left was hopping up and down with excitement, her curly pink mane and tail bouncing even more than the ample bust that her low-cut blue shirt was trying desperately to contain. On the right was a much more sober pony, another mare, who was a purple color with her mane and tail done straight. Her outfit suggested a cross between a Catholic schoolgirl and a librarian, with the long-sleeved, button-up, white shirt of the former, and the knee-length purple skirt of the latter. I also immediately noticed that while the purple one had a horn and wings, which I could see the tips of, the pink one didn’t seem to have either appendage.
“Pinkie,” Dinky exclaimed excitedly, “Princess Twilight!”
“Hi, everypony,” the mare who I naturally assumed was Pinkie greeted, “See Twilight, I told you there was something in town I had never seen before.”
“How on Earth could you just know that I was here,” I questioned.
“My Pinkie Sense told me,” the excitable mare explained nonchalantly, “when my ears get itchy, it means that there is something in town that I’ve never seen before.”
I opened my mouth to make a comment on the randomness of such a sensation, but was cut off by the pink pony’s companion.
“I am Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria,” she declared, obviously trying to sound a lot more regal than her normal tone of voice, “As I welcome you to Ponyville, I must ask, who are you and what are you?”
“My name is John Pearson,” I replied with a slight head nod, “and I’m what’s known as a human.”
“And that is what exactly,” the princess interrogated, looking me over in a very scientific manner.
“Humans are basically highly-evolved primates. We share most of the same features, though humans have less hair overall and have the power of speech.”
“Fascinating. And since you aren’t from Equestria, how did you get here?”
“Well, that’s what I don’t understand,” I confessed, folding my arms over my abdomen, “all I know is that there was this bright light, in a color not unlike your fur princess, and I ran into it. Next thing I know, I run head-long into Ditzy’s house.”
“A bright light you say,” the princess asked with a tone of slight trepidation, “this will have to be looked into. I think it would do you good to come see me tomorrow morning so that we can discuss some things. In the meantime, do you mind him staying here Ditzy?”
“No, not at all,” Ditzy smiled, “it’ll be interesting to have company over.”
“But, princess,” it was my turn to ask a question, “where am I supposed to find you?”
“Oh don’t worry, my house is easy to find. It’s the only purple crystal castle in town.”
The way in which she said this gave me a serious feeling of ‘Not in Kansas anymore’. If nothing else, that conversation was going to be interesting.
“Well now that that’s all settled,” the princess said, “I’ll be looking forward to speaking with you tomorrow, John Pearson. Come on, Pinky, I don’t think there’s anything more to see here.”
“Aww, Twilight,” the pink pony whined, “you always get to do the interesting things with alien creatures.”
With that strange sentiment stated, the two of them left. Amethyst wasn’t far behind. It seemed that she shared a house with a mare named Golden Harvest. That left me with just Ditzy and Dinky.
“So,” Ditzy said, once it was just down to the three of us, “who’s up for muffins?”
“Yeah, muffins,” Dinky exclaimed.
Chapter 2: Explanations and Regulations
The next morning I was up before the sun, as was my normal routine. My body had become so accustomed to this that I did not need to set an alarm, either on my phone, or on my watch.
However, what I wasn't expecting was to hear someone else walking around so early in the morning. When I rose from the couch that Ditzy had so generously allowed me to sleep on for the time being, I noticed a light coming from the kitchen. Shaking off my tiredness, I made my way toward the light. Once there, I saw Ditzy sitting at the kitchen table with her back to me. She seemed to be wearing some sort of blue uniform that matched surprisingly well with her gray fur.
"Good morning, Ditzy," I greeted, which caused my pegasus host to pivot in her chair.
"Oh, good morning, John," she replied with that same sincere smile that I had first noticed when she found me at her front door, "I didn't wake you, did I?"
"Oh no," I smiled and shook my head, taking a seat at the table, "I always wake up this early to take my morning run. What are you doing up this early?"
"I have to get up this early for work," she explained, "I'm a mailmare, and I need to get my route out of the way before I have to take Dinky to school."
"Speaking of which, I meant to ask you yesterday, what season is it?"
"Oh, it's summer. In fact, this is Dinky's last week of school before vacation."
"That's good," I chuckled, "means what I'm wearing is more than sufficient for the weather."
"Are you going to eat something before you go," Ditzy asked.
"That wouldn't be a bad idea. What would you recommend?"
"There's some orange juice in the fridge, and there are those bran muffins I made last night."
"That's perfect," I smiled, heading toward the fridge. Last evening I had discovered where Ditzy kept all her platewear and glasswear, so finding what I needed for a quick breakfast was easy enough.
"Did you have a muffin last night," Ditzy asked, tilting her head one way while her cross-eyes shifted in the opposite direction.
"No," I replied, "I was so stuffed from the casserole you made that I didn't have any room for dessert. But that certainly won't stop me from eating one now."
I found the basket that held the healthy foodstuffs and took out a muffin. My original intention was to savor my breakfast as best I could, but I soon found that to be a lost cause, as the muffin was so delicious that I don't remember taking a breath as I inhaled the entire morsel.
"Did you enjoy it," Ditzy asked with a chuckle, obviously already knowing the answer.
"I will say this," I said after gulping down the last of my juice, "my stomach is kicking me for not having one last night."
Ditzy giggled in a way that I had to admit was pretty cute, particularly with her golden eyes wavering back and forth.
"This may be a silly question," Ditzy said once her giggle fit had ended, "but are you sure you want to go for a run? Some of the ponies in town may find your appearance kind of strange."
"I figure it's early enough in the morning," I replied, "I'm not going to see too many people, I mean ponies, on my route. Besides, I need to learn a little bit about where things are in this town. Specifically, I need to find Princess Twilight's castle. I know you gave me the basics of it, but it's always been easier for me to see something than to try to visualize."
"Well, I hope you enjoy yourself," Ditzy said, finishing her own breakfast, "See you later."
With that, I headed out of the house and began jogging in no particular direction. I figured the best route would be to stay within the city limits, as that would not only help me keep my bearings, but allow me to locate specific landmarks. As usual, I had my iPhone strapped to my upper arm and music playing into the pair of white earbuds which matched the color of the phone. I had already figured out that telephones didn't exist in Equestria, but eletrical devices did. Unfortunately, it seemed as though Equestria used outlets more like the kind you would find in European countries, and thus my charger did not fit in them. I would have to find some way to rectify this, as running without music turned it from a nice bit of exercise to more of a chore.
As I made my way through the town of Ponyville, I didn't notice very many other ponies. The sun wasn't up yet, and Ditzy had told me that most ponies rose with the sun. However, I did spot several groups of pegasi flying above me. I wasn't quite sure what they were doing, but they seemed to be pushing the clouds around in certain directions. I would certainly remember to ask either Ditzy or Princess Twilight about this phenomenon. Most of the pegasi seemed too busy with their work to notice the foreign creature running beneath them. However, I did notice an off-blue coated mare with a distinctive rainbow mane and tail spot me and watch as I passed. She was a little too high up for me to see her facial expression accurately, but I had a gut feeling that she was trying to figure out just what I was exactly and whether I posed any threat, though she must have figured otherwise, for as soon as I passed completely below her, she went back to whatever she was doing and declined to follow me any further.
My original plan was to run until I found Princess Twilight's castle, then turn around and head back to Ditzy's place. I figured it wouldn't be as far as my usual course, but until I learned more about where I was, it would have to do. However, I found what I was looking for a lot sooner than I had expected.
The castle was by far the tallest structure in town, and thus I could see it far before I actually reached it. It didn't hurt that the sun was rising right behind it, which created a silouhette which could probably be seen clear across town.
After a few more minutes, I found myself directly in front of the impressive structure. It was unlike any building I had ever seen before, as the castle seemed to be growing out of a crystaline tree, both of which where mainly a nice lavendar color, not far off from the princess' own coat. Once I reached the front door, I decided to just stand and marvel at the sheer engineering genius that was the palace. Of course, my previous meeting with Twilight had already shown me that these ponies had some magical abilities, and this building seemed to drive that fact home.
While I stood there in an architectural coma, I didn't hear the front door open, and I almost didn't hear a voice speak to me.
"John," Twilight snapped her fingers in front of my eyes, which brought me out of my trance, "are you OK?"
I looked down at the princess to see that she was wearing the exact same thing she had been yesterday. The only difference in her overall appearance was that a brown horned owl, the species that was almost stereotypically associated with wisdom, sat on her left shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied with a chuckle, "just admiring your palace."
"Oh," Twilight looked up and behind her, as if she had never noticed the outside before, "Well, it's a long story."
"I'm sure it is," it was at that point that I realized something, "Twilight, have you been up all night?"
"Oh yes," she said more cheerfully than I would have expected, "I had to make sure that I had everything ready for your visit today. There is a lot of material and information to cover. So Owlowiscious and I were up preparing."
"And am I to assume that Owlowiscious is this guy," I said, pointing to the owl.
"Hoo," he responded, turning his head around a full 360 degrees for emphasis.
"Would you like to come in and begin right away," Twilight asked, motioning to the open front door.
"Well, I had planned on finishing my run," I replied pensively, "but seeing as you went through all this trouble for me, and seeing as how I am already here, we may as well start."
"Wonderful," Twilight clasped her hands together, "follow me, please."
I followed Twilight through the palace for a time. Owlowiscious eventually flew off, presumably to find some place to sleep.
"So where are we going exactly," I asked as we turned down yet another corridor.
"To the library," the princess replied, "Everything is set up there. Besides, it's my favorite room."
"Well," I countered, "I can certainly understand--"
"What in Celestia is that!" a male voice yelled from behind us. Twilight and I turned around to see a purple creature with green spines on his head which went down his back. He was bipedal, was an inch or two shorter than me, and had claws more than actual hands, though they seemed to be able to serve the same function.
"Holy shit," I exclaimed, "a dragon!"
"How do you know that," Twilight asked.
"I was just going on context clues. The scales, the tail, the claws, the sharp teeth. That is a juvenile dragon, or am I wrong?"
"No, you're right."
"Though 'juvenile' hurts a little," the drake snorted, "I'm almost 18 years old."
"Sorry, man," I apologized, extending a hand, "I'm John."
"Spike," the dragon replied, shaking my hand in return, gripping a little tighter than I would have preferred, but I just smiled and returned the iron grip.
"Twilight, would you like anything for breakfast," the drake offered.
"No, Spike, I already ate."
"Were you up all night again," Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes," the princess defended, "but I had to to get things in order for John's visit. There is much to cover, and we don't exactly have eternity to do it."
"Ok then," Spike said as he walked off, which allowed me to see his leathery wings for the first time, "see you two later."
Once Spike was out of sight, I turned to Twilight.
"I hope I didn't offend him."
"Well," Twilight sighed, "I will admit that he can get defensive about how he is perceived. He is very different than most dragons, since he has spent his entire life around ponies. He even tried to join a dragon migration at one point. I hope by the time his birthday comes around, he'll be seen by the community for the adult that he is. But you'll understand more about that later."
I wasn't sure what Twilight meant by that last statement, but I didn't want to bring it up right now. Instead, I silently followed hert our destination. The library of this castle was impressive and expansive. When Twilight mentioned that it was the largest single room in the palace, I believed her. I couldn't see the end of the rows of shelves. Upon closer examination, I saw that every shelf was categorized by subject, and then alphabetically by author. The sheer time it must have taken to organize this collection weighed on my mind, before the realization that Twilight could probably just 'will' the books to go where she wanted.
Twilight led me to the middle of the room, where there was a square space devoid of shelving. In this space sat two desks, a tilted one for writing, and a rather large standard one which, judging by the dual stacks of books laid upon it, seemed to be Twilight's reading desk. Giving a cursory look at one of the stacks, I noticed that these books seemed to pertain to either historical or socio-political issues. Of course, that was just a guess, as I had no idea who Nightmare Moon, Star Swirl the Bearded or Twilight Velvet were.
"Now," Twilight spoke, which made me turn to see that she had pulled in a chalkboard and had put on a pair of glasses which made her look even more like a librarian than usual, "like I said before, there is much to go over, so we should get started."
Taking the hint, I pulled over the office chair that was parked next to the large desk and took a seat.
"Whenever you wish to proceed, princess," I said in my most formal tone of voice. This was serious business to Twilight, and I wanted to make sure that she understood that I took it just as seriously.
"Excellent," Twilight said, using her magic to pick up one of the books off the desk, "I believe it's best to start here..."
*-*-*-*-*
I have no clue where the next ten hours went. Twilight covered pretty much everything I needed to know about Equestrian history, politics, economics, and culture in such an efficient manner that it wouldn't suprise me if she rehearsed the entire lecture the night beforehand. It was remarkable. I knew people that were paid to teach for a living that couldn't hold my attention for 30 minutes, let alone many times that amount. Even through the lunch that Spike provided, she didn't lose her concentration or competency.
That's not to say that she didn't allow me to get questions in, and it was a good thing, as I had many. There were many things about Equestria that were so different from home. And, as I didn't know how long I would be here, it seemed in my best interest to be as clear as possible.
"OK," Twilight said after she had explained the importance of cutie marks, a special brand that everypony received that said something about their special talent, "There's one more topic that we have to delve into, and I purposely saved it for last."
"What is that," I asked, leaning back in my chair, only a little bit happy that the extended lecture was nearing its end.
"Well, if you're going to live here for an indefinite period of time, you must understand the custom that we have come to call 'Propositioning'."
"OK," I replied with a bit of a brow raise, waiting for Twilight to make her point.
"OK, so you remember back when I asked you how personal relationships were treated in your world?"
"Yes," I said with a nod, "You said there was something important that you would come back to later."
"Exactly," Twilight said, removing her reading glasses, "the cultural idea of propositions and proposals are the Equestrian answer to your world's system. You see, since ponies first recognized the concept of marriage, as you know it, it has been understood that this convention in a singular, monogamous, relationship was not rational in Equestria."
"What do you mean by that," I asked with a definitive tilt of my head.
"Well, in early Equestria, ponies realized that there was an intersting imbalance between the numer of mares and the number of stallions. This led to the custom of 'herding', or, in other words, the practice of a stallion mating with more than one mare."
"That doesn't seem odd," I countered, "in certain societies on my planet, that is also practiced, though we call it polygamy."
"Reasonable," Twilight replied, "However, since the beginnings of the reigns of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, the practice of herding slowly began to die out, mostly as towns and cities began to grow and the mare-to-stallion ratio became more balanced."
"Reasonable," I parroted.
"However," Twilight continued, "the idea that stallions should be able to mate with more than one mare, and even vice-versa was still seen as an important part of becoming an adult. Thus, ponies began to set down laws to govern the...exploits that young mares and stallions might have."
"This is going to be a long list, isn't it?"
"Not particularly," Twilight shook her head, "there are only a few things that you need to know. First, that a pony becomes 'of age' at 16, at that point, they are what you would probably call 'legal'. This is very important, as the only two crimes for which death is still the penalty are murder and rape, rape being extended to also mean having relations with anypony under the age of 16.
"Secondly, any mare or stallion may proposition any other mare or stallion who is of age. Usually, propositioning is done through a very direct phrase, though there can be alterations based on the individual relationship one pony may have with another. Two ponies who are dating may not always directly proposition each other, as it is understood in Equestrian society that they are probably going to engage in sex. As a corollary to this, it is understood that anypony has the right to say 'no', and this right is to be respected. Even if it is a mare who propositions a stallion, the stallion is no more expected to acquiesce to the mares desires than a mare would in the reverse setting."
"So," I said, leaning forward and bringing my hands together near my mouth, "you're saying that it is perfectly legal and acceptable to ask any mare to have sex with me?"
"In blunt terms, yes."
"Even a princess," I asked with a smirk.
Twilight blushed slightly, "Yes. Though that wasn't a very good attempt at it."
"Didn't mean for it to be. I was just trying to do away with any possible awkwardness."
"Well," Twilight's blush grew, "it didn't work."
"Was the sex ed really the last thing you needed to teach me," I asked, the smirk no longer present on my face, but certainly audible in my voice.
"Um...yes," Twilight stammered, obviously more flustered than she wanted to be, "If you don't mind, I think I should go to bed. I was up all night, as you recall."
"I recall," I replied, "Should I show myself out, or are you going to?"
"I suppose it's best if I show you out," Twilight replied, finally regaining her composure with a smile, "you might get lost."
I wanted to be offended by that comment, but I just couldn't bring myself to be.
Twilight led me back the exact way we had come in the first place, back to the entrance of the castle. Once I was on the other side of the threshold, we both just stood there for an awkward pause.
"Well," Twilight broke the perfect silence, "goodnight John."
"Goodnight princess," I replied with a bit of a bow. I looked up just in time to see that cute blush return to Twilight's cheeks before she magically shut the door.
"Yeah," I chuckled to myself, "not awkward at all."
Chapter 3: Pink as Far as the Eye Can See
I stood outside Twilight’s castle for a time after the princess had left, musing on the conversation that we had just had. Thinking on the awkwardness of the scenario, I couldn’t help but laugh.
"What's so funny John," a familiar voice asked from behind me. I turned around to be met with a face-full of pink mane.
"Oh nothing, Pinkie," I half-lied, "just something that Twilight brought up."
"What were you two talking about," Pinkie questioned, looking up at me with a tilt of her head.
"Well," I began, taking a step back so that I could actually see the pony I was talking to, "Twilight was just giving me a run-through of things I should know if I'm living here."
"Like what," the highly-curious mare interrogated.
"Like history," I answered, wondering all the while why Pinkie was so interested, "and basic things about Equestria."
"Did she give you the sex talk?"
I felt like I had taken a punch to the solar plexus.
"Wh-what," I stuttered, befuddled that Pinkie would ask such a thing.
"I said, did Twilight and you talk about sex?"
Personally, I was flabbergasted that anyone could talk about it so freely. Now I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but to talk about this most personal of subjects in public where anybody could hear was stunning to me.
"That's none of your business, Pinkie Pie," I said with a stern voice and straight face.
Pinkie was silent for a moment, a smile still etched on her face, as if she didn't understand the sentiment. However, the silence didn't last long, as she soon gasped and started hopping in place before grabbing me by the wrist.
"Come with me, John," Pinkie said, more of a statement then a question.
"Uh, Pinkie, it's getting kind of late," I replied, hoping to get the overly-enthusiastic mare off my wrist.
"Oh, I know that, silly," Pinkie giggled, not turning to face me as she pulled me down the street, "It's just that I realized that I haven't done anything to welcome you to Ponyville yet."
"You really don't have to," I said with a bit of strain in my voice. It had been a long day and I was tired.
"Yes I do, it's kind of my job. Now just come to the Corner with me. I promise you'll like what I have planned."
At this point, I just resigned myself to my fate. There really was no point in arguing, and even less point trying to rend my wrist from my captor's grasp.
*-*-*-*-*
It did not take long for Pinkie to pull me all the way to Sugarcube Corner, both her place of work and her home, along with Mr. and Mrs. Cake and their twin foals, Pound and Pumpkin. I know all of this because that's all Pinkie went on about the entire way. I suppose it was so that I would know exactly who I would be meeting.
Upon entering the bakery, I immediately saw the four ponies in question right in the front parlor. Given Pinkie's descriptions it was easy to identify them all.
Mr. Carrot Cake was sweeping. His long, light orange-furred body made him even taller and thinner than me, as if he had never eaten a gram of fat in his life. Of course, given his business, I highly doubted this was the case.
His wife, Mrs. Cup Cake, was behind the counter. She was almost the exact opposite of her husband being short and plump, both in further degrees than Pinkie. This is not to say that she was obese or anything, as her curved figure was actually perfectly proportioned.
And on the floor, off to the side, were the twins. The two of them perked up immediately upon our arrival, Pound even buzzing slightly into the air. To this day, I still don't know how two Earth ponies create a pegasus and a unicorn foal, and even less how that's possible with twins, but from the moment I learned this, I decided it was best not to question it.
"Ah, there you are Pinkie," Carrot said upon our arrival, "and who is that?"
"Oh, this is John Pearson," Pinkie introduced, pushing me in front of her, "he's an alien from another dimension who crashed into Ditzy's house."
"Oh my," Cup gasped.
"Pinkie," I reprimanded, "don't make it sound like I landed on her roof. I just ran through some weird portal and into her front door."
"Eh, my description sounded better," Pinkie shrugged before grabbing underneath my upper arm.
"Where are you off to now," Carrot asked.
"Just up to my room," Pinkie called back, as we were already at the stairs leading to the second floor.
I didn't hear either of the Cakes reply. Quite frankly, I was paying more attention to not tripping on the stairs as Pinkie took them two at a time, never relinquishing my arm.
When we reached the top of two different flights of stairs, we were in Pinkie's room. My immediate thought was "party foul" as there were balloons, streamers, crayons, cans of paint, and rolls of paper all over the place. When my eyes made it to her closet, I swore I saw a tiny, blue cannon sitting inside. However, I didn't have much time to wonder about it, as something else soon gained my attention.
It's hard to describe the feeling exactly, but I felt something wet and a bit slimy on the shin and Achilles tendon of my right leg. Looking down for the source of the odd sensation, I saw a pair of reptilian eyes stare back at me just long enough for them both blink separately. The eyes were connected to a small reptile, but a reptile I recognized nonetheless.
"Gator," I yelled, kicking my leg out, which caused the little reptile to lose its grip on my leg and fly a short distance where it landed on a large ball, bounced off, and landed on its feet in a surprising show of grace.
However, I was more worried about the fact that an alligator had been taking a bite out of my leg. I quickly checked out my leg for any damage only to find that there was none. No scratches, no bleeding, no teeth marks.
"Pinkie," I exclaimed, pointing at the reptile who just stood on the floor, staring blankly ahead, "what is that?"
"That's Gummy," she replied with a smile.
"Gummy? You have a pet alligator!?"
"Right-a-roonie, and don't worry, he's completely harmless. He's got no teeth.
I wanted to take a moment to process this information, and I wanted another to ask Pinkie just how the heck she acquired a toothless alligator. However, I didn't get the chance.
"Hey John, come stand over here," Pinkie called. She was standing near a small set of steps that led to a balcony.
Putting aside my questions about Gummy, I came to stand beside Pinkie. As soon as I did so, she pushed on the topper on the banister pole, which happened to be in the shape of a cupcake. Immediately, I felt my feet go out from underneath me and I started falling. After a split-second, my feet landed on something metal, which I soon realized was a slide. Quickly, I assumed your typical sliding position. I could hear Pinkie laughing above me, so I tilted my head back to look. That was a mistake, as her legs were parted slightly, and, due to the skirt she was wearing, I got a clean view at her pink-and-white striped panties. Suffice is to say, I quickly rectified my error.
Our slide didn't last too long, and I soon found my feet back on solid ground. However, I wasn't a kid anymore, and I wasn't quick to kick up to my feet, which meant that a second after reaching the bottom of the slide, Pinkie crashed into my back. For better, or worse, she prevented herself from kicking me, and instead crashed with her body first. The reason this was also possibly worse is that it meant that Pinkie's substantial bust was now pressed against me, on top of her legs instinctively partially wrapping themselves around my waist.
"Woo-hoo," Pinkie yelled, "that will never not be fun."
"Ok," I sighed, "so where are we?"
“This,” Pinkie explained, popping off the slide and pulling me to my feet, “is my party cave!”
“Party…cave?”
Taking a glance around the subterranean structure, it looked like an extension of Pinkie’s room. There were balloons, streamers, banners, and other party-oriented things scattered all about. But the most interesting thing to me was the wall of filing cabinets.
“This is where I plan my biggest parties,” Pinkie said, gesturing around the room, “And in those cabinets are my secret party files for everypony in Equestria! Or, at least they were secret until Twilight and the others found it.”
Her little speech ended with her making a smile so large, I swore I heard her make a sound like a squeaky toy.
“You have files on everyone?”
“Yes indeedy! That way I always know how to throw the perfect party. Hey,” Pinkie exclaimed, popping up in front of me, her chest pressed flush against mine as she looked up to meet my eyes, “Since we’re down here, I should start on your file!”
“I don’t really think that’s…”
But the pink mare cut me off and swung me onto a plush pink couch which I hadn’t noticed during my initial observations. Pinkie soon sat beside me, brandishing a clipboard stacked with paper and an over-sized pink quill.
“Just a few easy questions to get started,” my pink companion smiled with glee.
Resigned to my fate, and yet another round of “20 Questions”, I sighed, “OK, Pinkie.”
“Yay! OK, full name?”
“Johnathan Joseph Pearson.”
“Preferred name?”
“John Pearson.”
“Birthday?”
“July 7th.”
“Ooh, that’s pretty close. Age?”
“Twenty-five.”
“Oh, you’re five months older than Rarity and seven months older than Applejack. Three favorite colors?”
“Uh, green, red, and black.”
“Nice combinations. Favorite flavor of ice cream?”
“Mint chocolate chip.”
“Favorite flavor between chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry?”
“Chocolate, of course.”
“Of course,” she parroted with a giggle, “Last time you had a birthday party?”
I had to think about that one, “Uh…when I turned…twelve?”
Pinkie gasped and almost dropped her quill, “That’s a long time! I have to make sure to throw you one this year.”
“Pinkie, I don’t even know if I’ll still be here then.”
“No matter, I’ll plan one anyway! Now just a few yes/no questions. Do you like cake?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have a sweet tooth?”
“Yes.”
“Do you enjoy parties?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to have sex with me?”
“Yes, wait, what?”
I snapped my head over to Pinkie. She was softly biting down on the feathered end of the quill and looking at me with half-lidded eyes. Within seconds, she had dropped the quill and the clipboard and scooted over to sit right beside me.
“I said,” she whispered, “Do you want to have sex with me?”
I immediately realized what was happening. Just as Twilight had talked about, Pinkie was propositioning me. Of all things, I certainly hadn’t expected that Pinkie would not only do something like that, but that she would be so quick about it. But I also remembered the other important point of our little chat.
I answered clearly, “No, Pinkie.”
The mare’s ever-present smile faltered just a touch, and her eyes opened back to their usual size.
“You, you don’t?”
“No, Pinkie.”
Pinkie’s eyes darted all around me, and she started talking at a fast pace, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t offend you did I? Is there a reason? Do you have a marefriend already? Oh Celestia, did I just hit on a guy who’s taken? Or maybe you’re not attracted to females? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course, I just…”
In order to stop her, I grabbed her shoulders with my hands. Pinkie immediately went silent, though her worried look remained.
“To answer your questions,” I began, “No, I don’t have a girl back home, and yes, I am very much attracted to females.”
“Just, not to me,” Pinkie’s shoulders slumped and her head fell. I could have sworn her hair lost a bit of its volume as well.
“I didn’t say that,” she perked back up immediately, “Pinkie, I’ve been here for a day-and-a-half. And I don’t know how long I’m going to be here. If you want to get physical with me, then I’m flattered. But I’m not personally ready for that step.”
My hands left Pinkie’s shoulders.
“Hehe,” Pinkie giggled, rubbing the back of her neck, “Guess I moved a little fast, huh?”
“To put it one way,” I smiled, “Maybe that’s normal for Equestrians, but you have to remember that I’m not one.”
“Hey, no hard feelings,” Pinkie beamed, “But can you answer one more question for me?”
“Why not?”
Pinkie threw her arms out wide, “Can I at least have a hug?”
I chuckled, and Pinkie laughed with me, “I don’t see why not.”
My new pink friend wasted little time bringing me into a tight hug. As with Ditzy, it felt very nice, and it was a little unfortunate when it had to end.
“So,” Pinkie said one the hug concluded, “when will Twilight know if she can get you home?”
“I don’t know Pinkie,” I shrugged, “hopefully soon.”
Chapter 5: Moving Forward
My morning routine was broken. Dizty didn't accidentally wake me up. I didn't go for a run. Dinky and I didn't speak aside from pleasantries. I didn't want to get off the couch.
Laziness was not normally on my list of character flaws, but the motivation was just not there. The day before had been long and emotional, and I felt I deserved a little bit of time to collect myself, a little bit of time where I didn't need to put effort into anything.
It had been a long time since I had cried as much as I had with Twilight. It felt as if all the fluid in my body exited via my tear ducts. The only reason I stopped was that I had no more tears to give. Crying had given way to sobbing, which had given way to simply choking on phlegm.
Twilight did her best to be comforting, though her tears didn't cease, merely becoming more controlled. She didn't say much, allowing me the space necessary to ride out my emotions.
When I had calmed down to some degree, Twilight graciously offered me lunch. She even got a chuckle out of me with her admittance that her food-preparation skills are pretty much non-existent, with Spike having done the cooking since the two had moved to Ponyville.
With that in mind, I accepted her offer to treat me at the local hayburger joint. I was admittedly skeptical of such fast-food delicacy as hayburgers and hayfries, but in the end my hesitance was for naught. Really, there was no discernible difference between hayfries and French Fries, and the hayburger was palatable, though certainly of a different taste. To this day, I have never researched what actually goes into a hayburger, content that they taste good, and that’s all I need to know.
When I returned to my place of residence, not much was said. My two hosts could certainly tell that I was out of sorts, but they didn’t press me for information. Between the time Dinky came home from school and when we all went to bed, I probably only exchanged about twenty words, mostly in one-word sentences.
My relative silence continued to the next day. It was as if my brain decided to take a sick day. I moved on basic instinct alone. When I was hungry, I got up and ate. When nature called, I answered.
Experience had shown me that this mindset would not last forever. Eventually, I would return to my routine.
Fortunately for me, I was not waiting for this change alone.
When Ditzy returned from her mail run, she seemed to have an added bounce in her step, almost to the point where, if she had been outside, she would have achieved minor lift-off. I really wasn't in the mood for happy-go-lucky mailmare company, but I got it anyway.
Ditzy popped over to the couch, swung my legs off of one side, and sat down on the vacated cushion. I groaned and gave my best “not amused” face at the smiling pegasus.
“Hi, John,” Ditzy greeted cheerfully, “I didn’t expect to see you back yet. Either you ran a lot faster this morning, or I flew a lot slower.
I rolled my eyes and turned my head away from her.
“John,” she continued in a more sober tone, “what’s wrong? You haven’t said more than two words to me or Dinky since yesterday morning. What’s up?”
With a sigh, I turned my head back toward her.
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” I replied.
“Oh. Ok,” Ditzy said, her real feelings toward my answer blatantly evident, “Well, if you do want to talk about it, you can come to me, alright?”
My only response was a few shallow nods. Figuring that was all she was going to get out of me for now, Ditzy gave me a little smile before standing up. It was at this point that I realized something important. I had told Twilight that I had to make the best of my life here in Equestria. And one of the ways not to do that was to lay around moping. Twilight had been helpful the day before, but if other ponies tried to reach out to me, especially if they had been kind to me in the past, I had to give them the benefit of the doubt. I had to allow them to help me.
“Wait,” I said suddenly, causing Ditzy to stop in her tracks. I adjusted myself on the couch so that I was sitting properly before tuning to her again, “I do want to talk about it.”
Ditzy quickly returned to her seat and looked at me with both kindness and concern through her misaligned eyes, “What’s up?”
“Yesterday, I went over to see Twilight because Spike said that she needed to talk to me. To make a long story short, it turns out that Twilight figured out how I ended up here.”
“That’s good,” Ditzy smiled, “maybe she can send you back.”
I gulped, and turned my gaze away from my companion, “Well, that’s the thing. She knows what happened, but there is no safe way to send me back. I could end up in another dimension or even another time.”
“Oh no,” Ditzy gasped, both hands over her mouth.
“Yeah,” I continued, “I can never go home. Or, rather, this is my home now.”
“Oh, John, I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Ditzy. You’ve done nothing wrong. Besides, I’ve gotten enough of that from Twilight already.”
“Still,” she continued, “no one should be ripped from their home. I mean, you haven’t told us much about your life before, but I’m sure it was nice.”
I turned back toward her, “What am I supposed to do,” I asked pleadingly, “I mean, I told Twilight that I would make the best of my situation, but I just don’t know how to do that, where to begin.”
“Well,” Ditzy mused, “I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do, but I know that you shouldn’t just lay here.
I sighed as she stated the obvious, but she wasn’t finished.
“I know it sounds hard, but you have to keep moving. Get up, get some fresh air, meet some new ponies, introduce yourself, talk to them. You don’t have to give them your entire life story, but you’d be surprised how far you’ll get sometimes just by greeting somepony. The ponies here are nice and friendly almost to a soul. Maybe you’ll even find something that you had never considered before and can use as a jumping-off point. It’s worth a try, right?”
My head lifted to a high angle and I took one deep breath, and then another. After a good minute of silence, I once again brought my attention to the pegasus beside me.
“Thanks, Ditzy,” I said, smiling properly for the first time all day, “You’re absolutely right. It’s just hard, you know?”
“I know,” she replied, “And nopony is expecting you to adjust overnight. Just take it one step at a time.”
I rose from the couch and walked the short distance around it, grabbing my phone off of a side table in the process. Even if it wasn’t useful for much, I still had the very human habit of having it with me at all times.
“Think I’m going to take a little walk,” I announced.
Ditzy gave me a big smile, “That sounds like a good idea.”
*-*-*-*-*
Despite my improved demeanor at the hands of Ditzy’s positivity, I still had a strange feeling in my gut as I walked along what had become my jogging route. The kind of feeling one gets when they are in a new place for the very first time. Of course, that wasn’t technically the case, but now I was viewing Ponyville, and Equestria, from a new perspective. No longer was it simply an alien world that I had been brought to by means outside my control. Now, it was to be my proper home, and, as I had said to Ditzy, I did not know how to begin taking it all in.
That’s not to say that Ditzy’s words went unheeded. Though it was mid-day on a weekday, there were still a few ponies here and there, going about their business. I received a few smiles and tentative waves, and I reciprocated the gestures appropriately. But though it was obvious that the residents did not hold any particular worry about me, I in turn simply did not see a good opportunity to make good on the plan.
However, after a time, I came into sight of a place that I already knew: Sugarcube Corner. Immediately I thought of the friendly and up-front Pinkie and considered whether or not she would be helpful in my endeavor. To that end, I marched right up to the building and entered.
For it being around lunchtime, the place was not overly busy. Of course, I was aware that the Corner was primarily a bakery and confectionary and not necessarily the first place you would think of for lunch. But, thanks to Twilight, I also knew that they were no strangers to serving tangible meals, particularly what you would find at breakfast.
To my good fortune, behind the main counter stood not one of the Cakes, but rather Pinkie herself, who immediately began bouncing on her feet when she saw me.
“Morning, John,” she greeted enthusiastically, “or is it afternoon already? No matter, hi anyway.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle a tad, “Hello to you too, Pinkie.”
“Have you come for lunch,” she asked, now leaning over the counter on her elbows, chin resting on her palms.
“I don’t think so, Pinkie,” I replied, “Not really too hungry. Besides, I don’t have a Bit on me.”
“Oh, that’s right! I hadn’t thought of that. So what are you here for?”
“Well, I was hoping you could help me with something if you’re not too busy.”
“I always have time for my friends,” she said with a grin, “What’s up?”
“Well, uh, I went back to talk to Twilight again yesterday, and-”
“Ooh,” she exclaimed, rising from her relaxed posture to once again move with energy, “Did she figure out how you got here? Did she find a way to send you home?”
Pinkie smiled broadly as she awaited the answers. I simply sighed and looked down through the glass display that made up part of the counter.
“To answer in order,” I began, sounding slightly more solemn than I meant to, “yes, she figured it out, because it was her own magic, and no, she didn’t, and she never will. I’m here forever.”
I could almost hear Pinkie’s smile deflate.
“Ooh…,” she responded in the most serious tone I had yet heard from her, “Well, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“You don’t need to-”
“But that just means that we’ll have a chance to become better friends,” she continued, her tone making a complete 180° shift from her previous sentence, “And your pal Pinkie Pie is just the pony to help you!”
“No need to get so excited,” I said, chuckling in spite of myself.
“Of course there is! I can help you in lots of ways! I can introduce you to my friends, not just my best friends, like Twilight, but all my other friends. I know every pony in Ponyville, and I’m sure they’d all love to be your friend.”
“That’s very nice, Pinkie,” I complimented, trying to slow the mare down, “But there’s more to it than that.”
“Like what?”
“Like…well, you just asked me if I was here for lunch. But even if I was hungry, I don’t have any Bits. I’m not sure what I’m going to do for work and as much as I appreciate what Ditzy has done for me, I refuse to sleep on her couch for the rest of my life. And, on top of that, what about clothes? What I’m wearing is all I’ve got. I need Bits to buy clothes, but I need a job to make Bits, and-”
My rambling was brought to a halt by a soft, but firm, hand over my mouth. Pinkie patiently waited for me to get the message before removing herself.
“I see what you mean,” she nodded, “And I’m not sure about the job thing. I mean, I’d offer you work here, but the Cakes and I have it pretty well-managed.”
“I’m sure.”
Pinkie smiled a little broader, “But I know who can help you with the clothes. You should go see Rarity over at Carousel Boutique. You can’t miss it. It’s a big, pretty building near the center of town. Tell her Pinkie sent you, let her fuss over your appearance for a bit, and I’m sure she will help.”
“Just like that,” I asked skeptically.
“Just like that,” Pinkie parroted reassuringly.
I shrugged, “Why not? It’s a lead at the very least. Thanks for the tip, Pinkie.”
“You’re welcome! Oh, before you go,” Pinkie ducked down into the back of the display case for a second before popping back up holding a little white bag, “I hope you like glazed donuts!”
She held out the bag to me, but I was hesitant to take it.
“Uh, Pinkie, did you forget the part where I said I have no money?”
“Don’t worry about it, this one’s on me.”
At this, I sighed and smiled in return.
“Well I’m not one to refuse food paid for by someone else,” I took the little bag from her, “Thanks again, Pinkie.”
“Don’t mention it. Bye, bye.”
I turned and headed for the exit. As I took a bite of my hot, tasty, donut, it suddenly occurred to me that this day was quickly taking a turn for the better.
*-*-*-*-*
It was not a difficult task to find the boutique. In a town the size of Ponyville, any building that isn’t a two-story thatch-roofed home sticks out like a sore thumb and is immediately recognizable.
However, there was still a small amount of hesitation on my part. I really wanted to trust what Pinkie had said about the owner, Rarity, and how she would be able to help me with at least one of my pressing concerns. But there was a part of me that found this highly dubious. Another hold-over from my Earth is the view that, nine times out of ten, people don’t go out of their way to help you. It took me a good minute to shake off these concerns, as I reminded myself that I was no longer in the world I previously knew, and I had been shown time and again, even at that point, that the differences were generally positive and usually surprising. So, with the bout of skepticism behind me, I entered the boutique.
As soon as I did so, I noticed three individuals directly in front of me, in the main foyer of the establishment. One was Spike, the drake I already knew, the second was a white unicorn with a curled, purple mane wearing a skirt and blouse, and the third was a yellow pegasus with a pink mane. The latter stood on a raised stage which had three mirrors behind it and was wearing some kind of dress or evening gown.
My presence was immediately alerted to them by a bell which hung above the door.
“Welcome to the Carousel Boutique,” said the cultured, accented voice of the unicorn, who turned to face me halfway through this trademark, “Where every style is chic, unique, and magnifique. Good afternoon, darling, may I help you?”
“I hope so,” I said as Spike and the pegasus noticed me.
“Hey, John,” Spike greeted, “What’s up?”
“Not much,” I replied.
“Excuse me,” the unicorn interceded, looking at me, “Are you by chance the human Spike told us about.”
“That would be me. John Pearson, at your service.”
The unicorn giggled, “Perhaps it is I that could be of service to you. I am Rarity, proprietor of this boutique.”
“Nice to meet you,” I smiled, turning my attention to the mare on the stage, “And you as well, miss…”
The pegasus turned away from me partially, using her long mane to hide her face. I could see her hands fidgeting, and even heard a sound or two escape her, but nothing that I could make out.
“You’ll have to excuse dear Fluttershy,” Rarity explained, “She tends to be shy around new ponies, or humans, as it were.”
“No problem,” I replied, still smiling in Fluttershy’s direction, trying my best to look friendly and harmless.
“Come, Fluttershy,” Rarity announced, helping her living mannequin off the stage, “I think we’ve gotten a great deal done. Let’s go get you out of that dress. John, if you would like to stay here for just a few minutes, I shall return shortly.”
I gave a simple nod as the two mares moved toward a back room, leaving Spike and I in the foyer.
“Don’t worry,” Spike chuckled, “nopony gets Fluttershy out of her shell immediately. She’ll come around.”
“Well,” I replied, “I certainly want to make a good impression.”
“Hey, uh, Twilight told me about what happened. I’ll admit, I’m surprised you’re not mad at her.”
“Yeah,” I sighed, “But like I said, it’s a conscious decision to accept my situation and forgive her. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t angry at first, but being mad wouldn’t do me any good.”
“Hey, I for one am glad you’re here. I mean, I don’t wish you were here. I mean, I wish you hadn’t been brought here. I mean-”
“It’s fine, Spike,” I interrupted, “I get what you mean.”
Spike suddenly had the look of someone who’s just had a brilliant idea and snapped his claws.
“Hey, you should come to Stallion’s Night with me and the guys.”
“Stallion’s Night,” I asked, confused.
“Yeah. Every Friday night me and the guys hang out. We play cards, talk about stupid stuff, drink some beer, you know. So how about it?”
I pondered the offer for a minute. It would certainly be a way for me to get to know new ponies, and even find some common ground with them. And to have someone there I already knew would help the process.
“Sure, I’m in. When and where.”
“We usually meet at Sweet Apple Acres, but you can just swing by the castle and we’ll head over together.”
“Sounds good.”
“Great! Come by around seven tomorrow night.”
I was about to say something else when I heard hoofsteps coming toward us. Spike and I turned to see Rarity and Fluttershy coming back to the foyer, the latter now wearing an airy, spring dress. She wasn’t hiding as blatantly as before, though she did walk slightly behind her friend, using Rarity as a metaphorical shield.
“I believe this has all gone very well,” Rarity stated to no one in particular, “Thank you for your help, Fluttershy, and you as well, Spike.”
“Anytime, Rarity,” Spike answered.
“You’re welcome,” Fluttershy responded in a volume which reached barely beyond Rarity’s ears. She then made a move for the door, but stopped herself short and faced me, “It-It was, um, n-nice to meet you, John.”
“Same here, Fluttershy,” I said with a smile. The pegasus smiled shyly in return before exiting the boutique.
“Think I should be headed out too,” Spike said to Rarity, “Unless you need me for anything else.”
“Well, I should be able to handle John here on my own. If you need to be somewhere, then by all means don’t let me keep you.”
“Nothing big,” Spike shrugged, “just got to pick up a few things from the market. Later, Rarity. See you tomorrow, John.”
“Goodbye, darling.”
“See ya, Spike.”
This just left Rarity and me in the boutique. She quickly got back to work, tidying up the stage area with her magic before turning to face me once again.
“Stand on the stage for me, will you,” she asked, pointing to the raised area, “It’s much easier for me to take measurements when I don’t have to bend over.”
“Measurements,” I asked, moving toward the stage, “Like, for clothes?”
“Precisely so. Although, I suppose I could guesstimate if you want, but I would assume you would want accurate measurements taken for anything I will make for you in the future.”
“Of course,” I said hesitantly, “but…”
“But what, darling?”
“Well, I…I can’t exactly pay you right now.”
Rarity smiled, “I know.”
My head immediately cocked to one side, “You…know…?”
“Why yes. Between Spike and Pinkie, I have heard quite a lot about you. Just yesterday Pinkie told me how bad she felt for you and that she hoped you could go home and be happy. But when I pointed out that there was a possibility that Twilight wouldn’t be able to send you home, Pinkie, being the sweet dear she is, immediately began to ramble about all the things you would need and have to learn. And it just so happens that one of the things she brought up was that you only have one set of clothes.”
“So,” I began slowly, “you’re saying that when Pinkie said that I should come here, you already knew about me and it was just a matter of me coming here?”
“Directly on the nose.”
“Well then,” I said, slightly dumbfounded, “Guess we should get started.”
I climbed up onto the stage to start the measurement process. Rarity accomplished this like the professional she is, flying a tape measure around my body with her magic and taking notes on everything pertaining to her work that you could imagine.
When she was finished, she immediately moved over to a drawing board, where there were multiple sheets of tan paper with many different drawings done in graphite. Naturally, I stepped in behind her to view her current work, as well as glance at some other pieces that I could immediately see.
“If you don’t mind me asking, darling,” Rarity asked after a time of silence between us, “what did you do for work before?”
“Um, well, it’s kind of hard to explain. Suffice is to say I don’t think my old job even exists in Equestria.”
“Come now, darling, you have to give me more than that to work with. Was it physical labor? Industrial? Manufacturing perhaps?”
“Well, in the broadest sense, I was a designer-”
“A designer,” Rarity perked up, interrupting me, “What kind of things did you design?”
“Well, it wasn’t clothing, if that’s what you’re thinking. No, I designed and built scale models of automobiles, commonly referred to as cars.”
Rarity was positively perplexed, “Cars? I’ve heard of train cars, but nothing called an automobile.”
“Yeah, Twilight didn’t understand it, either.”
“What are they, exactly?”
“Well, to put it simply, it’s a carriage with an engine inside that runs on the power generated by the engine.”
“That sounds very dangerous,” Rarity observed.
“Oh trust me, when they were first introduced, they kind of were. It’s gotten better over the last century.”
“Century!? Humans are quite the technological sort, aren’t they?”
“You could say that. Of course, we have to be, since we don’t have magic. Not that there is anything wrong with Equestrian technology. It’s just made with a different species of being in mind.”
Rarity held up the chunk of graphite she had been using before me.
“Would you mind drawing one of these ‘automobiles’ for me? I would very much like to know what one looks like.”
“Sure,” I said, taking the graphite from her magic aura. She gave me a little bit of room so that I could draw a quick sketch.
My sketch was of a standard car, what we like to call a “sedan”, one with four wheels, four doors, and a relatively sleek design. Of course, cars come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and functions, but it made sense to show Rarity an example of the most common type.
When I had finished, Rarity looked it over with the eye of an artist. She also asked me various things about the design, like where the engine went, why it was built so relatively low to the ground, and how many people could fit inside. It was incredibly fascinating for me to see the wonder of a pony seeing a car, if only in sketch, for the first time. It was at this point that I wondered if the humans who had invented cars in the first place saw the same looks on people.
“You’re certainly right about one thing, John,” Rarity stated after her questions had been answered, “There is nothing like this in Equestria. But perhaps your artistic skill could come into some use.”
“You think so?”
“Most definitely. I do not know what your world is like in this regard, but in Equestria, it is sometimes astonishingly easy to make a living doing what you love doing. That’s what cuite marks are all about, after all. You just need to find something you enjoy, that actually exists here, and make it work financially. It is completely possible.”
For some reason, what she said made me feel infinitely better about my situation, at least my financial situation. Maybe, with the right use of skill, and a little help from my friends, I could find something in Equestria I enjoy as much as I enjoyed making and working on cars before.
“Thanks, Rarity,” I smiled, “That makes me feel a lot better.”
“Glad to hear it, darling. Now, I should have a closet-full of clothes made for you by weekend’s end if nothing urgent arises. And, if time allows, you might just get a package in tomorrow’s mail.”
She flourished the sentence with a wink which made me smirk and give a short chuckle.
“Well, then, I believe it is in my best interest to allow you space to work your ‘magic’,” now it was my turn to throw a wink.
“Right you are. Goodbye for now, John.”
“Goodbye Rarity, and thanks again.”
I stepped out of the boutique and realized that it was a bit later into the afternoon than I had thought. With this knowledge, I decided to take a leisurely pace back to the Hooves homestead.
And it was with a pleasant feeling, knowing what had been accomplished today, and the support of friends which made it happen.
Chapter 6: Meeting the Guys
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 7: Doing the Work Which Suits You
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 4: Apologies and Acceptance
My second full day in Equestria started out much like my first. Ditzy accidentally roused me from my couch-bound slumber and, after an apology on her part, we had breakfast together.
In order to avoid partaking in our morning meal in silence, I tried to strike up conversation. Like Twilight, Ditzy was quite curious about where I had come from. The only reason she waited this long was because she wanted me to feel comfortable and not hounded by questions all the time. I was grateful for this. Not that I minded answering questions the Equestrians might have, but no one likes feeling like they’re being interviewed or, heaven forbid, interrogated all the time.
In an effort to make this a real two-way conversation, I asked Ditzy things about Equestria, Ponyville in particular, and about herself. She was more than happy to tell me about the various town sites, some of which I had already noticed on my run yesterday, but some, like the apparently-dreaded Everfree Forest, that I had not.
We also talked about Dinky. Ditzy rambled on about her daughter for some time, and it was quite clear that she was very proud of the little unicorn. Of course I had questions, like who, or where, the father was, and how Amethyst fit into the family unit, but I did not know Ditzy long enough to ask such things. So I just listened to my pegasus host talk about how well Dinky did in school this year and so on.
This continued until Ditzy had to leave for work, not to mention I had to get my morning run in. To this end, we left the house at the same time. And while she flew off, I ran off.
The run was uneventful, which I took as a blessing. Running had always been my preferred way of staying in shape, and it would not do to be interrupted every day. I did notice a few more ponies around, particularly pegasi who were pushing the clouds around, managing the weather as Twilight had explained they do, to my great shock. However, none of them, nor almost any other pony I saw, interacted with me. The one exception occurred just as I was passing Sugarcube Corner the first time. I heard my name called out and found it to be Pinkie, waving at me from the window of her room. I waved and pleasantly smiled back in return, which seemed to make her smile even more.
In due time, I returned to my temporary residence, again having run from Twilight’s castle and back. I estimated it to be about a mile, which was about half of my regular routine. But it would do for now.
Upon re-entering the house, which Ditzy had left unlocked while explaining to me that nopony regularly locked their doors, I found Dinky sitting at the kitchen table, eating some cereal. This impressed me on two fronts: first, that Dinky was responsible enough to get up on her own on a school day, and second, that the cereal wasn’t glorified sugar in a bowl but actually resembled Corn Flakes. I suppose given the vegetarianism of the ponies, it shouldn’t have surprised me that much, but that rationale didn’t go through my brain at the time.
Dinky seemed pleased to see me as we exchanged pleasantries while I grabbed a glass of water. Admittedly, tap water was never my favorite, but it made due, particularly since it tasted almost like mineral water and was very clear.
“So,” I began, deciding to strike up proper conversation with the younger member of the household, “last week of school, huh?”
“Yep,” she replied, understandably cheerful, “today, tomorrow, and Friday.”
“Excited for vacation?”
“Who isn’t,” she replied matter-of-factly, “I mean, I like school, but it’s nice to have a break.”
“Can’t argue with that,” I said, before realizing something I hadn’t yesterday, “Do you normally walk to school by yourself?”
Dinky shrugged, “Sometimes. Sometimes mom finishes her route in time to take me.”
“Hmm,” I mused, mulling over an idea, “Would you mind if I went to the school with you?”
Dinky looked at me curiously, “Why?”
“Well, I haven’t been on that side of town yet, and it’s good exercise.”
“Didn’t you already go for your run?”
“Yes. But it’s not as if my legs are tired.”
Dinky shrugged, “Sure. Heh, Miss Cheerilee might even find you more interesting than Princess Twilight does.”
“Who’s Miss Cheerilee?”
“You’ll see,” Dinky said, popping out of her chair, “Come on, it’s about time we got going.”
The young unicorn quickly moved to the sink, washing out her bowl and silverware. That little chore done, she slung a satchel over her shoulder and we headed for the door. But as soon as I opened it, the two of us spotted a purple dragon on the other side, holding up one fist, as if he was about to knock.
“Hi, Spike,” Dinky greeted.
“Hey, Dinks,” Spike replied before adjusting his gaze toward me, “Hey, John, I’m glad I caught you.”
“What’s up,” I asked.
“Twilight wants you to head over to the castle again today,” Spike explained, “She said she has something really important to talk to you about.”
“Sure. But she’ll have to wait a bit. I’m going to pop over to the school. Hope that’s OK.”
“It’s cool,” Spike replied, “For once, Twilight doesn’t seem to be on some kind of do-or-die schedule.”
“Thanks for the heads-up. You gonna be over there later?”
“Nah. Applejack asked for my help in the orchard today,” Spike answered, turning to walk away, “See you two later.”
“Bye Spike,” Dinky said with a wave, “C’mon, John, I can’t be late for school.”
Dinky closed the front door and we walked off in the opposite direction of downtown Ponyville. On the way, I thought a bit about what Spike had said. Twilight wanted to speak to me, and it sounded important. Was it something she had forgotten to mention yesterday? Maybe something pertinent to life, or social structure that I should really know? And then there was the ‘Applejack’ Spike mentioned. Pinkie had said that name too, assuming it was the same pony. If I was going to be here more than a few days, I was going to have to meet some new ponies.
By the time I shook off this mental distraction, we had reached the school. Honestly, it wasn’t much to look at, a one-story building with a basic wood-wall, shingle-roof design, mostly painted red. It was topped with a small bell tower. It reminded me of a one-room schoolhouse that I had seen in many a history book.
Out in front, there were quite a number of ponies, mostly around Dinky’s age. However, one stood out. The Earth pony mare not only seemed older, but also in charge to a degree as she stood in the doorway of the school and watched over the various younger ponies outside. Her fur was a soft purple, while her mane and tail were in bands of pinkish and off-white. She was wearing a long-sleeved white shirt with a green, flower-print skirt.
By the time I had made all of these initial observations, I realized that she was looking directly at me. In a flash, she was off the school’s porch and in front of Dinky and me.
“Hello,” she greeted, hand already extended, “my name is Cheerilee. I had heard rumors, but it is so nice to actually meet you, mister…”
I completed the handshake, “John Pearson, or just John if you prefer. I see my reputation has proceeded me.”
“News travels fast in a little town,” Cheerilee continued, “Especially when it is about a new kind of being who just crashed into Ditzy’s house out of thin air.”
“Yeah,” I chuckled, “Guess that would spread like wildfire.”
“Well, you don’t know how much I would love to chat with you, but it’s about time for school to get started. Perhaps another time?”
“We’ll see,” I replied, “I don’t even know how long I’ll be here. But you can always go to Twilight for some answers, I’m pretty sure she took copious notes.”
“She wouldn’t be Twilight if she didn’t,” Cheerilee concurred, “Well it’s been a pleasure meeting you, John.”
“Likewise, Cheerilee.”
“OK everypony,” Cheerilee turned to the throng of younger ponies, “the sooner we get this day started, the better. T-minus three days until summer vacation!”
There was a cheer from the students as their teacher herded them inside. I just crossed my arms and laughed at the enthusiasm.
*-*-*-*-*
As had been the case the previous day, I found the front door of the castle open and accommodating. This is something I will always question. Ponyville seemed like a nice enough town, but to leave the door to the home of the local royalty unlocked and unguarded seemed very strange.
Nonetheless, my presence did not go unnoticed. A few brief seconds after my entrance, a purple flash of magic appeared before my eyes. After blinking my eyes a few times, I saw Twilight standing there, looking just a bit haggard, as if she had not slept well. Her head was bowed slightly so that I could not look her in the eyes.
“Good, you’re finally here,” she said in a curious monotone before grabbing my hand, “Come on, you’ll want to sit down for this.”
I gave no resistance to the young alicorn pulling me down one hallway than another. Though my mind was racing with questions, I kept my lips shut, confident that if I was just patient, they would be answered.
Eventually, we reached a kind of living room. There were a couple comfortable-looking chairs, a small table, and a fireplace. Twilight sat me down on the blue leather couch and seated herself beside me.
I expected her to immediately fly into whatever it was she wanted to speak to me about, but when nothing came from her mouth after a minute of sitting there, her hand still gripping mine, I decided to start the conversation myself.
“Twilight,” I said, “What did you need to speak to me about?”
She didn’t answer immediately. In fact, she couldn’t even look at me. I was on the verge of saying something, but my voice caught in my throat as Twilight gave the smallest of sniffles, the weakest of whimpers. Now I was concerned.
“Twi-”
“I’m so sorry!”
Twilight quickly turned toward me, her face planting into my chest and her arms wrapping around my torso. Granted, I almost missed the second detail, as I was preoccupied with making sure her horn didn’t stab my neck. But with that taken care of, I took my hand and softly patted her back, between her shoulder blades.
“Twilight,” I said softly so as not to scare her, “what are you sorry about?”
“It-It’s my fault,” she sobbed, “It’s my fault you’re *hic* here and I can’t send you back! I’m so sorry!”
My mind immediately blanked. Twilight was the reason I was here? I didn’t know what to think, so I asked something else.
“Twilight,” I maintained my previous tone, “how did you bring me here?”
“*gulp* I-I was working *hic* w-working on way to teleport objects remotely,” she explained, “Something must have gone wrong and…and it reached into your dimension. I-I couldn’t control it! I’m so, so sorry!”
Her crying resumed. To be frank, seeing and hearing Twilight cry almost made me cry. I never liked seeing girls cry, no matter the circumstances.
However, there was a part of my mind that was fuming. Twilight’s magic had ripped me from my home. Robbed me of my, admittedly, pretty comfortable life. And now that I thought about it, I was probably a missing person already. Maybe they had found my car. Maybe they thought I was dead. My friends and co-workers might think I’m dead. And it was because this magical anthropomorphic pony had used powerful magic that she couldn’t control. And, to top it off, she couldn’t send me back. Oh, she could probably attempt it, but there would be no guarantees of success.
But after about thirty seconds on this train of thought, I looked down at the mare crying into my chest, looking very upset and very pathetic. I paused and thought about Twilight. Given how she looked when I first showed up, she might have been up all night. Lying awake in bed or perhaps pacing the castle corridors, wondering how she could fix her mistake. Wondering if there was any chance of returning me home. Wondering how I would react.
And in that moment, I made a choice.
“Twilight,” I began again, attempting to maintain my earlier tone, but certainly failing, as my companion did not stop crying, “Twilight,” I said, firmer, “sit up and look at me.”
Twilight bolted upright. She looked about how I imagined. Her mane was not brushed perfectly straight as I had seen it before. Her eyes were bloodshot. Streaks lined her face where her tears had fallen.
To combat the last of these physical mars, I used my thumbs to wipe away the new tears forming under her large eyes.
“No more tears,” I said, “At this rate, you’re going to make me cry, and I think you’ve cried enough for both of us.”
Twilight gave another sniffle and used her hand to wipe her eyes.
“I’m so sorry, John,” she apologized again, “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to-”
I put a stop to that with an index finger to her lips.
“I know. I probably will never understand what exactly happened, but I know you didn’t do it on purpose,” I pulled Twilight into another hug, placing one hand on the back of her head and the other on her back under her wings. I placed her head on my shoulder and angled my head to speak as close to her ear as I could manage, “I forgive you, Twilight Sparkle.”
She gasped, “You-You…forgive me? But…but…”
“No buts. I am not angry with you. Do you know something called the Five Stages of Grief?”
“Mhmm,” I felt her nod her head on my shoulder.
“I cannot deny that what happened, happened,” I explained, “I am choosing not to be angry with you. I must accept what has happened. And I must do everything I can to have a fulfilling, meaningful, life here in Equestria. I forgive you unconditionally, and all I ask is that you help me adjust to this world.”
“Of course, John,” Twilight said, teetering on the edge of tears again, “I will do everything in my power. I’m so sorry.”
“No more apologies. What’s done is done. OK?”
“OK,” Twilight whispered as I saw her wings extend and wrap around me along with her arms.
“You want to know the first thing you can do to help,” I asked, my voice cracking under the emotion of the situation.
“What?”
“D-Don’t let go of me right now.”
The first of what would be many tears fell down my cheek.
