Bring Me the Heads of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!

by CCC

Rating: everyone
Tags: Tirek, Daring Do, Adventure, Discord, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 15907

Tirek has won; three alicorns lie in Tartarus, and the Element-bearers are tied to his throne. But some ponies still fight on...

Tirek has, undoubtably, thoroughly, completely, won.

He has all six former bearers of the Elements tied to his (formerly Celestia's) throne.

He has the other three alicorns trapped in Tartarus.

He's absorbed every scrap of magic from every pony in Equestria.

And nopony will ever get a cutie mark, ever again.

Three certain fillies are going to do something about that. And if they can somehow rescue their sisters in the process, all the better...

For another take on the same idea, see Crusade at Midnight Castle by Carabas; or, for a story that takes the idea in a completely different direction, see Der Unter-gang by Monokeras.

Published 2014-08-16 20:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-17 18:11:54 UTC

Prologue

”How about a trade, Princess Twilight?” asked Tirek.

He snapped his fingers, and seven bubbles appeared around his head, each holding a single occupant. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Spike, Fluttershy, Rarity, Discord, and Pinkie Pie.

“Their release,” he demanded, “for all the alicorn magic in Equestria. What's it going to be... Princess?”

Twilight could hear her friends shouting... objecting. On some level, she knew that they were telling her to keep the magic, to fight on against Tirek. Encouraging her, even while they knew that their lives may be forfeit.

But it made no difference. Her decision had already been made, the moment Tirek had revealed his hostages. Twilight Sparkle had never intentionally scored less than full marks on any test in her life; and that meant that no permanent loss was an acceptable outcome.

Magic could be regained. Her friends, if killed, could not.

“ENOUGH!” yelled Tirek. “I want an answer, and I want it NOW!”

Twilight took a moment to look over her friends again. None of them appeared to have been harmed, apart from having their magic extracted. And they couldn't be changelings – magicless changelings wouldn't be able to maintain any shape but their natural insectoid ones.

Still, it was only prudent to take a moment to consider her options one more time – was there any way to ensure the release of her friends and defeat Tirek, right now?

...no. There was not.

“I will give you my magic,” she said, “in exchange for my friends.”

“As you wish,” said Tirek, smugly; while her friends gasped in shock.

Six out of the seven bubbles dropped to the ground, and popped, leaving Discord floating alone.

“All of my friends,” insisted Twilight, firmly.

“After the way he has betrayed you, you still call him... a 'friend'?” asked Tirek, shocked.

“Release him!” insisted Twilight.

“If that's what you want.” Tirek snapped his fingers, and Discord's bubble dropped and popped.

“Thank you, Twilight.” said Discord. He turned to look at Fluttershy. “I'm sorry.” he added.

“I know.” said Fluttershy, tears gathering at the edges of her eyes.

“Your turn.” grinned Tirek, opening his mouth and swallowing more magic than he knew what to do with.

...Twilight had been half hoping that the combination of alicorn magic with the rest of the magic in Equestria would be too much for Tirek's body to absorb, that the sudden influx of power would detonate the centaur demon and restore everypony's magic. But, as the creature grew larger and larger, it was obvious that that would not happen; instead of overloading, Tirek's body simply grew to accommodate his now magical might.

“Twilight,” said Spike, rushing forward with the rest of her friends, “what were you thinking?”

“Tirek tricked me into believing that he could offer me something more valuable than friendship,” said Discord, sadly. “But there is nothing worth more. I see that now. He lied when he said that this medallion was given as a sign of gratitude and loyalty. But when I say that it is a sign of our true friendship,” he continued, placing the medallion about Twilight's neck, “I am telling the truth.”

The medallion glowed all the colours of the rainbow for just a moment, which struck Twilight as a little odd.

And, just then, a bubble popped into existence around her.

“Twilight!” called out Applejack, as another bubble appeared around her... and around all of the others as well, lifting them up, separating them from each other.

“Oh, come now.” said Tirek, with a nasty grin. “After all the trouble you lot put me through, you didn't expect me to just let you all go, now, did you?”

“But you said you would release my friends!” objected Twilight.

“I did.” agreed Tirek. “I never said I wouldn't recapture them, once you no longer had the power to stop me.”

He snapped his fingers, and suddenly Twilight was tied to Celestia's throne.

As were all her friends.

Even Discord.

Interrogation

“Reports from Baltimare, Manehatten, and Las Pegasus all show similar trends.” stated Shining Armour, in a rapid monotone. His coat had faded to a pale grey that was near indistinguishable from its normal shade; but the difference in his mane was striking, its normal brilliant blue having faded to an anonymous grey. “Three weapon depots, four guardhouses, and a popular coffeeshop have been targeted in Manehatten; two armourers and a guardhouse in Baltimare; and we've lost contact with the Las Pegasus outpost entirely. Fillydelfia has remained largely untouched, but there's been rebel activity in dozens of smaller villages. The individual attacks are largely disorganised and random, but they have widespread popular support and appear to have less trouble with supplies than we do. We also suspect that some of the former Wonderbolts may have thrown in with the rebels. Aside from that, the only constant in the attacks has been the rallying cry.”

Shining Armour paused, for just a moment.

“In every attack, whether the rebels were captured or not, in either written or spoken form, there has been a single cry – 'For The Cutie Mark Crusaders'.”

Tirek, sitting on his (formerly Celestia's) throne, in his (formerly Celestia's) throne room, frowned at his new guard captain. Using Discord's Grey Plague to simply switch the loyalties of the entire Equestrian Royal Guard had been a stroke of genius, but he sometimes privately wondered if some of the guard-stallions had managed to partially shrug off the spell, at least enough to act like total idiots sometimes.

“I don't want excuses.” he snarled. “I want results. These 'cutie mark crusaders' are making me a laughing stock in my own country! What have you done to protect your fellow guardsponies?”

Shining Armour stood smartly at attention. “We have increased protective patrols at all Guard locations,” he said, “and dispatched a squad to Las Pegasus to -”

Tirek roared in anger, slamming his sceptre into the ground, and making the half-dozen ponies (and one dragonequus, and one dragon) tied to his throne jump.

“USELESS!” he roared. “You fool! You treat the symptoms, when you should strike at the source! These 'Crusaders' are a symbol, and while they live you can fight rebels all day and never get to the end! But destroy the symbol and resistance to my rule will crumble and fail!”

Tirek stood up, glaring down at Shining Armour. “BRING ME THE HEADS OF THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!” he yelled.

Behind Tirek, there was a slight squeak.

As Shining Armour saluted and marched off, Tirek turned about to look at the eight beings tied to his throne.

“I heard that.” he said. He snapped his fingers, and the muzzles that had been holding their mouths shut vanished. “One of you knows something. The Royal Guard had never heard of these 'cutie mark crusaders', but at least one of you has, haven't you?”

The eight prisoners clustered together, and stepped back from Tirek's angry gaze. It didn't take them long to back away to the limits of their ropes.

“Yeah? Well why should we tell you anything, you jerkface?” yelled Rainbow Dash, stepping forward

Tirek's horns glowed, as he levitated Rainbow Dash up, in front of his face.

“Oh, indeed.” he said. “That is rather the crux of the matter, is it not? How about this – if you or your friends don't start talking quickly, I'll pull your wings off.”

Rainbow Dash gulped. She shut her eyes, and took a deep breath. “It's...it's not like I can use 'em, anyway...” she murmured.

There was a thump, as Applejack tried, once again, to buck Tirek's leg out from under him. He sighed, lifting her up as well. “I really thought you'd have learned by now.” he said. “Without your Earth Pony magic -” Tirek paused, frowned, and looked down at his hooves again, where the remaining four ponies and one dragon were making a concerted attack on his left hoof. He rolled his eyes, sighed, and levitated all of them into the air. As an afterthought, he picked up Discord as well.

“For the last time,” he said, “I've got the magic of every earth pony and alicorn in Equestria. Without your own magic, it doesn't matter how often you try that – you can't hurt me. Now, would anypony like to start telling me where I can find these Cutie Mark Crusaders, or shall I start pulling the wings off your friend here?”

Rarity was the only one who replied, with a burst of blistering invective that was more or less anger given audible form. Tirek simply raised an eyebrow.

“Well, then.” he said, reaching out his telekinesis for Rainbow's wing.

Rainbow gulped, and shut her eyes.

“WAIT!” yelled Discord. “I can't take it – not my dear friend Shutterfly! I'll talk! I'll talk! I'll tell you all about the Crusaders!”

Rarity's head snapped around and she glared at the dragonequus. “Discord you misbegotten son of a viper! Traitor!” she yelled, then took a deep breath and continued in a similar vein.

Fluttershy curled up and sobbed, just once.

Tirek waved a hand, sending all the ponies and the baby dragon off to one side; and then, for good measure, he threw a silence spell over them. Rarity continued to mouth her angry insults, but they were no longer audible.

“Fascinating.” said Tirek. “As I thought, your new 'friendships' have simply given you a new weakness. Now, talk. Who are the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

“An elite unit of Celestia's,” said Discord, promptly. “They've found out how to extract the cutie mark from a pony and bottle it, and give the result to another pony. They're based in Manehatten, I'm not sure exactly where.”

“If they work for Celestia,” asked Tirek, “then the Guard would know about them.”

“Top secret.” said Discord. “Quite frankly, the only reason I even know about them was because they were involved in recapturing me the first time I escaped. Outside of the Crusaders themselves, potential recruits, and those they've stopped, very few ponies know a thing about them.”

Off to the side, Rarity had stopped trying to angrily yell insults through the silence spell, and floated rather with her mouth open in shock. Fluttershy had a small, encouraging smile. Twilight nudged Rarity in the side, and frowned at her.

“They're very versatile,” continued Discord, “because they can switch out their cutie marks for whichever ones they need at any given moment. They're selected from the winners of the Equestria Games; those who make the cut usually only find out about the Crusaders when they're asked to join.”

Discord gave a slight chuckle. “You didn't think this group reformed me by themselves, do you? Shutterfly got invited to join after she pulled off a sonic rainboom – they're still going through the process, but she's almost a member now. Or, at least, she was, before you took us all prisoner.”

Tirek frowned, wondering whether to believe what Discord had just told him. He snapped his fingers, removing the silence spell from the ponies behind him.

“I'LL DEFENESTRATE YOU FOR THAT, DISCORD!” yelled Twilight. “I'LL DEFENESTRATE YOU WITH A RUSTY KNIFE, AND IT'LL BE NO LESS THAN YOU DESERVE!”

Discord winced.

But Tirek's mouth turned up in an evil grin. If the ponies were still threatening Discord, then surely that meant he'd been telling the truth...

Daring Do

Back in the present

“Guard Captain!” called Tirek. There was a clatter of hooves outside the throne room, and a couple of sudden thumps, as if of bodies hitting the ground.

Tirek turned away from Discord, still using his magic to hold the dragonequus in the air as he glanced at the door. There was the sound of hooves sliding across marble, and a blank-flanked pegasus screeched to a halt outside the throne room. Before Tirek could do more than blink, the pegasus' foreleg turned to point at his head, and he recognised the crossbow she held in her hoof. She pulled the trigger, and Tirek saw a bolt of light travel directly towards his head.

There was no time to dodge aside, so Tirek did the next-best thing; he used Discord's magic to split his head down the middle, allowing the shot to pass harmlessly between the two halves.

“DARING!” yelled the blue pegasus. “RUN!”

Tirek slammed the two halves of his head back together again, and grabbed the attacking pegasus in his telekinesis before she could get away.

“'Daring', is it?” he asked, carefully pulling the crossbow from her hoof. “Well, miss... 'Daring'. What exactly did you intend to achieve here today?” He waved a hand, tossing silence spells over all his other prisoners.

“Isn't it obvious?” snarled Daring Do. She reached up one hoof to push back her pith helmet and get a better view of the giant centaur. “Kill you, restore the magic you stole. Save the lives of thousands of ponies.”

“Is this about the weather again?” asked Tirek, inspecting the crossbow. “Honestly, you'd think that the fact that I keep the day-night cycle going would be enough for you ponies.”

“Yeah, the weather's part of it.” said Daring. “Without proper control, half of Equestria's going to be a desert in two years, and the other half's going to be flooded. You'll have less ponies to rule then, won't you?”

“You think I care about ruling weaklings?” asked Tirek. “Any pony who can't survive a bit of climate change isn't worth the bother. But give me a generation or two, and I'll have an Equestria that's really tough – an Equestria where the surviving ponies are truly strong. Where weak 'friends' die and only those tough enough to serve me survive. And then... when I have an army worthy of the name... then I shall rule the world!” He crushed Daring's crossbow in one hand.

Daring winced. “That was a priceless historical treasure!” she said.

“This?” Tirek held out the remains of the crossbow. “Nothing but a toy. I should know, I made it.”

Daring gasped. “The... the origins of the Canterlot Crossbow were lost to history!”

“Well, now you know.” said Tirek. “It was supposed to be able to kill Celestia. It couldn't.” He held out his hand, and let the bits drop to the ground with a clatter. Then he moved one hoof forward, and stomped on them, flattening the pieces further.

Daring winced, again.

“And as for you,” continued Tirek, stepping forward to look Daring in the eye, “you are going to do a little job for me.”

“Why would I do anything for you, you overgrown freak?” asked Daring.

Tirek grinned, and his eyes suddenly flashed with multicoloured light. “I never said anything about you wanting to.” he said. He reached up, and poked Daring's head with a finger; the colours drained from her body and mane leaving her a monotonous grey.

Daring struggled for only a moment before the mental domination took hold.

“Go to Manehatten.” Tirek ordered. “Track down a group who call themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Find their headquarters, and kill them all. Bring me their heads as proof.”

“Yes, sir.” said Daring Do.

Ahuizotl

Tirek watched as Daring Do trotted briskly out of the throne room, then turned to inspect his prisoners again. “Guard captain!” he called out again.

“I do believe,” said a voice from the door, “that your guard captain is currently sleeping off a minor headache.”

Tirek turned, and glared at the creature in the doorway. It was tall and blue, with only two legs and a long tail which ended in an extra hand. At this particular moment, the tail-hand was holding up Shining Armour.

“I'm sure he'll be fine when he wakes up.” continued the creature, tossing Shining into the throne room.

“And who are you?” snarled Tirek.

“I,” said the blue creature, indicating himself with his tail hand and bowing, “am Ahuizotl, the magnificent. And may I say how much I appreciated what you did to Daring Do? She's been a thorn in my side for quite some time now.”

“And yet here you are,” said Tirek, lifting Ahuizotl with his magic, “working with her to break into my throne room!”

“A matter of expedience only.” said Ahuizotl, quickly. “I knew you would defeat her easily, of course, but she's not bad at getting into places. And I'm not bad at beating up ponies, especially now that they've had their magic removed.” He executed a mid-air bow. “I've come to offer you my services, as one villain to another.”

“Of course.” said Tirek. “So that you can wait for the advantageous moment to betray me, as Scorpan did to me, and as I did to Discord.”

Ahuizotl's eyes widened. “Oh, no, no, no!” he objected, just a little too quickly. “I would never think of betraying one as clearly powerful as you!”

Tirek rolled his eyes. “Of course not.” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Not until I was weak enough that you could gain advantage from it.” He looked at the door to the balcony, and opened it with his magic. “Fortunately for you,” he continued, “I don't have any immediate use for you.”

He began to spin Ahuizotl around his head, ready to fling him out over the balcony; a plan which was foiled when Ahuizotl's tail hand managed to reach out and grab Tirek's horn. He continued spinning around Tirek's head for almost an entire revolution after that, his tail wrapping around Tirek's horns, until it ended with Ahuizotl hitting Tirek in the face.

“I... could tell you what 'defenestrate' means?” suggested Ahuizotl, meekly.

Tirek didn't notice the sudden panic on Twilight's and Discord's faces.

“To remove the eyes.” said Tirek, lifting Ahuizotl from his face with one huge hand. “From the Old Equestrian 'fenestra', or 'window', and the prefix 'de', 'to remove', thus 'to remove the windows' – and the only body part that can be described as a 'window' is the eye.”

“You speak Old Equestrian?” asked Ahuizotl.

“I remember back when it was still just 'Equestrian'.” said Tirek. He swept his arm back, and flung Ahuizotl out over the balcony.

“You'll regret thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...” cried Ahuizotl, as he flew towards the horizon.

Tirek snorted. “I doubt that.” he said, shutting and latching the balcony window and failing to notice Twilight and Discord breathe simultaneous sighs of relief.

Tirek stomped across the room and kicked Shining Armour until he opened his eyes. “Eh?” he asked.

“Guard captain.” said Tirek. “I require a rusty knife. You will obtain it immediately.”

“Yes, sir.” said Shining Armour. He struggled to his hooves, and staggered out the door.

Tirek looked at his prisoners, and grinned slowly. “I wonder if you meant what you said, Princess.”

Defenestration

“Surely you can't mean this?” asked Discord. “How could giving Twilight a rusty knife possibly be of any use to you?”

“It would amuse me,” replied Tirek, “to see one of these... friendly... ponies mutilate a former friend.”

“But she couldn't, even if she wanted.” objected Discord. “I'm taller than her, I have better reach, and more hands. I could get the knife away from her before she could seriously hurt me with it.”

“And if you do that,” said Tirek, “if you take the knife away or injure her in any way that prevents her from defenestrating you, then I will make you regret it.”

“But I helped you!” objected Discord. “Why are you punishing me?”

“If I rewarded you,” said Tirek, “you'd use the reward to break out and betray me. Besides,” he added with a malicious grin, “I'm not the one who will be punishing you for that. The purple princess is.”

“But you're preventing me from stopping her from cutting my eyes out!” wailed Discord.

“Oh, I didn't say that.” said Tirek, his grin widening. He snapped his fingers, and the ropes holding Twilight and Discord to his throne suddenly grew a lot longer. “You can run,” said Tirek, “as long as your ropes allow. And you've got until she catches you to talk her out of it.”

“But I've never seen her as angry as she is now!” complained Discord, as Shining Armour trotted in with the handle of a rusty knife in his mouth.

“That's your fault.” said Tirek. He took the knife from Shining Armour, and handed it to Twilight. “Thank you, guard captain. You may leave.”

Only when Shining had left did he remove the silence spells from the ponies.

“Well, then,” said Tirek, looking down at Twilight. “You have your opportunity now, purple pony. Will you take it, I wonder?”

Twilight growled, stepping away from Tirek and towards Discord. Since her back was to Tirek and he couldn't see her eyes, she took the opportunity to give Discord a reassuring wink.

“Now, listen,” said Discord, backing away, “I'm pretty sure you haven't thought this through. I mean, I wouldn't be much use to anypony if I were defenestrated, would I?”

The knife in her mouth made talking difficult, but Twilight managed to growl something that sounded vaguely like “Daring Do”. She stepped around to one side, forcing Discord to start moving around Tirek's throne to keep away from her..

“Yes, I know about Daring Do.” said Discord. “She was just here. But, listen... everypony saw me helping Tirek earlier. If I'm blind, I won't be able to find anypony who would help me across the street. But you're an alicorn princess – everypony would help you across the street. You'd have a much easier time with defenestration than I would. Why don't you give me the knife, and I'll defenestrate you?”

Tirek burst into laughter at the sheer audacity of Discord's proposal, almost falling off his throne.

“Manehatten cousin.” said Twilight, speaking quickly. “She could do it.”

“Exactly!” said Discord, quickly. He'd completed a full revolution around the throne by now, and it was clear that Twilight planned to keep forcing him around the throne until the remaining unwound length of rope was too short for Discord to escape. “Your cousin could help you cross the street!”

Tirek stopped laughing and stared. “She's actually considering it?” he asked. “This... friendship... must be more insidious than I'd thought!”

“Besides,” continued Discord, glancing at Scorpan's amulet, “if you ever needed a place to stay, well, you'd have a key. I wouldn't have a key, I'd have to sleep out in the open. I still think you should be the one defenestrated.”

“You deserve it.” growled Twilight.

“Oh, so it's all about that, now, is it?” asked Discord. “Just because you gave up your magic to save your friends, and I gave up some information to save my friend, you think you're less deserving of defenestration than I am?”

Twilight growled.

“Trust me when I say that you are far, far more deserving of this than I am.” said Discord. He stopped backing away around the throne, and tried to dodge to the side instead; but Twilight had the knife in front of him, blocking his path, before he could take more than a single step. Then she twisted aside and attempted to stab Discord, once, twice; but a simple twist of his snakelike body, and Discord evaded both strikes.

Twilight glanced, briefly, at the large stained glass window directly behind Discord (the one showing Twilight's ascension to alicorn); and then, quite suddenly, spun around and gave him a good, two-legged buck. Somehow, despite the ease with which Discord had dodged her previous attacks, he didn't seem to dodge this one at all; he flew back, smashing into and through the window in a shower of glass.

The rope, looped around Tirek's throne, wasn't quite long enough to allow Discord to hit the ground; instead, he swung into the palace wall, hanging uncomfortable a mere few feet above the ground, but stretching the rope taut. As Tirek, suddenly worried, stood up from said throne, Twilight lowered her head to the tightly-pulled rope and sliced through it with a single swipe of the sharp but rusty knife.

There was a thump from outside, as if of a body hitting the ground.

Tirek pulled the knife away from Twilight with his magic, and stepped forward to look out of the window. He was just in time to see the tuft at the end of Discord's tail vanish into a nearby manhole.

He turned away from the window. And he was very clearly displeased.

“Guard captain!” he called.

Shining Armour limped in “Yes, sir?” he asked.

“Shining!” said Twilight, quickly. “Rememb-”

With a snap of his fingers, Tirek threw silence spells over all his remaining prisoners.

“Guard captain.” rumbled Tirek, angrily. “There is a dragonequus loose in the Canterlot sewer system. Go, take your men, find Discord wherever he flees and bring him back.”

“Yes, sir.” Shining Armour saluted, turned around, and limped out to go hunting for Discord.

Tirek levitated Twilight up in front of his face. “Removal via a window.” he said. “Not removal of a window. I don't know how you could possibly still think of Discord as your friend after he betrayed you twice, but I am going to make you regret that.”

Twilight glared defiantly up at Tirek, but didn't say a word.

And Tirek suddenly put two and two together. “He... didn't betray you a second time, did he? Discord lied to me.” He spun around, and hurried to the throne room door. “Guard Captain!” he called out. “I have new orders for you. The Cutie Mark Crusaders are not headquartered in Manehatten. Separate the Guard into groups, leaving only a skeleton staff at the castle. Search every other major city in Equestria. Including Canterlot. Wherever Celestia's elites are hiding, find them, and I will reduce their miserable headquarters to molten slag! Ignore Discord for the moment. Without his magic, he's no longer a threat in any case.”

Manehatten

Tirek stomped back into the throne-room, the floor cracking slightly with every impact of his oversized hooves.

“As to your punishment...” he said to Twilight.

Twilight folded her forelegs, and glared back defiantly.

“No doubt you're expecting me to torture you for this transgression. And no matter what I do to you, you'll probably think it's worth it, if you've let a friend escape.” Tirek shook his head at the sheer folly of the entire concept of friendship. “So I'm going to do something even worse.”

He looked over at his other prisoners.

“I'm going to torture your friends.”

He reached into the group with his magic, and pulled out the smallest of the lot – Spike, the dragon. He held up the sharp, but rusty knife. “I believe I shall begin,” he said, “by defenestr-”

Twilight thought faster than she'd ever thought before.

“DON'T BURN HIM!” she cried, letting her panic at Spike's plight into her voice.

“Burn him?” asked Tirek. “Don't be ridiculous. Dragons are immune to fire.”

“...yes.” said Twilight, nervously. “All dragons are immune to fire. It's definitely not something that they grow into, and even if it was, Spike's quite certainly old enough that he is fireproof. It's not like fire is especially painful and terrifying for young dragons or anything like that. Spike is definitely quite absolutely immune to fire so there's absolutely no reason why you'd possibly want to use fire to torture him with.”

Twilight promptly covered her mouth with both front hooves and looked away, not making eye contact with anyone.

For a long moment, Tirek simply glared at Twilight. Then he said “That was the singularly worst lie I have ever heard.”

He turned around and stomped back towards the door. “Guard captain!” he called out. “Bring me a brazier of red-hot coals!”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later

Spike hung from the ceiling like the bob of some gigantic pendulum, his wrists tied together above his head. He looked more bored than anything else.

Behind him, Tirek lifted a red-hot poker from the brazier of glowing coals, and inspected it thoroughly. Deciding that it was finally hot enough, he stepped forward and carefully poked Spike's tail with it.

Spike did not immediately react.

Twilight frowned at him and stomped her hoof.

“Ow!” said Spike.

“SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!” yelled Pinkie. “We're all here for you, Spike!”

“You barbarian!” shouted Rarity. “Torturing a poor, sweet, innocent young dragon for your twisted whims!”

Spike continued in a flat monotone. “Oh. Ouch. Oooh. Ow. Ouch. Oh dear, how much this hurts. Ouch. Ooooh. Ouch. Ouch.”

“Noooooooo!” cried Twilight, collapsing dramatically on the ground and covering her face with her hooves. “I can't bear to looooooook!”

* * *

Manehatten, the following day

“Hey, Ma, Pa. I's jus' gonna head out and play, okay?”

“Babs Seed.” said Mrs. Orange, primly. “Do you have to speak in that ridiculous accent all the time?”

Babs rolled her eyes. “It's the way everypony at school talks, Ma.”

“Leave your poor daughter alone, dear.” said Mr. Orange, not looking up from his newspaper. “If she wants to talk like -”

Exactly what Babs talked like wasn't further elaborated on, because at that moment the front door shattered, showering the Oranges with splinters of wood and revealing a grey-toned pegasus mare.

“I say!” said Mr. Orange, putting down his paper and stepping forward. “Nopony breaks into my house and -”

The pegasus leapt forward and, with a number of rapid kicks, knocked both adult Oranges unconscious. All without ever taking her eyes off Babs.

Babs backed away nervously, then spun around and ran from the pegasus who'd attacked both her parents. But she was too late – after only two steps, she was stopped by teeth grabbing hold of her tail. A hoof took hold of her head, and turned it until she was facing her attacker.

“Don't hurt us!” squealed Babs.

Daring Do spat out Babs' tail. “Where,” she asked menacingly, “are the headquarters of the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

Messages

Ponyville, one day after Discord's escape

Discord hummed a merry little tune as he turned the page of the friendship diary. He reached down from the hammock in which he was reclining and picked out another stem of Heart's Desire from Zecora's sharply limited stock to slip in as a bookmark.

He heard hooves approaching, and hummed just a little bit louder. The door to Zecora's hut opened, letting in the sounds of the Everfree for just a moment; and then the door was abruptly shut again.

There was some frantic whispering on the other side of the door, some of it in a rhythm that suggested rhyming speech. Discord caught his name a few times in amongst the whispers. He continued to hum and page through the friendship diary for a few moments, then he called out “I can hear you, you know.”

The whispering abruptly stopped, replaced with the fearful silence of several ponies holding their breath.

“Oh, now, there's no need to be like that.” he told the closed door. “Tirek took my magic too.”

The silence persisted.

“I can tell you how to defeat him.” continued Discord.

Somepony outside, unable to hold their breath any longer, took in a great big gasp of air.

“All you'll need to do is open the Harmony box.” continued Discord.

There was more rapid whispering, followed by one set of hooves galloping away at full speed.

Finally, the door swung open, revealing Zecora, flanked by two fillies; one earth pony with a bedraggled ribbon in her mane, and one orange pegasus wearing an eyepatch.

“We had tried what you suggest,” said Zecora, coldly, “but we were not successful in our quest.”

“Ah, yes,” said Discord, “but I know where the keys are.”

“Why did you do it?” asked Scootaloo, frowning. “Why did you help Tirek?”

“In hindsight,” sighed Discord, “it was a mistake. I did it mostly to try to prove that I was free, that I could do something like that if I wanted, that I wasn't merely trapped in a new sort of cage... but I was. I still am, in a way. Would you believe, I honestly think I might be starting to grow a conscience?”

Discord clicked his tongue and shook his head.

“The worst of it is,” he continued, “I don't think I can get rid of the thing. Not without excising several months worth of my most pleasant memories.” He flipped to a new page in the diary, and picked out Zecora's last Heart's Desire stem to use for his fifth bookmark. “Anyhow,” he continued, “I have two messages for you. The first is -” he tossed the diary to the ground in front of the three ponies - “take a look at the marked pages, that should lead you to five of the keys.”

“There's six keyholes.” said Applebloom.

“Quite.” said Discord. “I know exactly where the sixth key is, and I plan on getting it myself. The second message is that your little rebellion is really bothering Tirek -”

“Yeah!” said Scootaloo, waving one hoof victoriously.

“- to the point that he's sent an agent to kill you.” finished Discord.

Scootaloo's victorious gesture crumbled into uncertainty. “What?”

Discord twisted himself until he was sitting up on the hammock. “Do you remember,” he asked, “when I was freed from stone about... oh... a year ago? When I was turning ponies grey and making them act opposite to their natures?”

“Yeeeessssss....” said Applebloom, cautiously.

“Well, Tirek's got my magic, and he's been doing the same.” said Discord. “The agent's name is Daring Do, and the only reason she's not here yet is because she thinks you're in Manehatten.”

“Manehatten?” said Applebloom. “Cousin Babs!”

Discord winced. “Yes,” he said. “Daring's going to look for your headquarters and then try to bring Tirek your heads. If you're lucky, she'll be happy to try to bring them still attached to the rest of you.” He reached down to pick up a second book from next to the hammock, and tossed it to land by the diary. “If you can hold her down and read this to her,” he continued, “you've got a good chance of breaking the spell.”

Scootaloo glanced down at the cover of the book. “Daring Do and the Sapphire Sto- hey!” He glared up at the dragonequus. “You stole this from my room!”

“I did?” asked Discord, surprised. “Well, that's a coincidence. It was the twelfth house I broke into, I think. Nopony appreciates poorly-written adventure stories anymore, it seems.”

“Ah thought you hated reading.” said Applebloom.

“If it's cool enough for Rainbow Dash,” said Scootaloo firmly, “then it's cool enough for me!”

“Well, just in case one book isn't enough,” said Discord, “I do hope you know where to find the rest of the series.”

“Sure.” said Scootaloo. “Twilight's got the whole series in her library.”

“Which was destroyed in Tirek's war.” pointed out Zecora. “Do you know where any others are?”

“Rainbow Dash has the whole series in her cloud house.” continued Scootaloo.

“Perhaps someplace we can reach without having to fly?” asked Applebloom.

“Well, that's all my messages delivered.” said Discord, strolling to the nearest window. “I'm sure you understand, I don't particularly want to wait around until whoever you sent that little unicorn to fetch arrives; besides, I need to go pick up a photo album from the Crystal Empire.”

While his eagle claw fumbled with the latch, he waved with his lion paw. “Bye, now.”

The three ponies continued to glare at him from the doorway until he'd climbed out the window, pushed it shut from the outside, and wandered off into the Everfree.

Capture!

One day later

The train pulled, slowly, into Ponyville Station.

Only one passenger got out. There had been a few passengers who had intended to get on the train at Manehatten, but one glare from the grey pegasus had persuaded them that it would be healthier to wait for the next train instead.

Daring Do looked around. Most of the town seemed empty, with ponies remaining inside and, from the looks of it, locking their doors. She caught a glimpse of a flash of light, from the top of a building that looked – of all things – rather like a carousel. It looked like somepony was watching the station through a telescope. As if they'd been expecting her.

As she watched, a large green flag was unfurled from the same window. The green flag was almost dropped, and a small white filly leaned out dangerously far to catch it.

This looked like it would bear closer investigation. Daring Do trotted towards the carousel-shaped building.

“Hi!” said a passing pegasus. She was grey, with yellowish hair, and while one eye was looking at Daring, the other appeared to have wandered off and was staring at a nearby cloud house. Like any other pony, her flank was blank. “You're new here, aren't you? New people are fun! Are you looking for something? I deliver mail, so I know where everything is in Ponyville!”

“Where,” asked Daring, “are the headquarters of the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

“Oh, that's easy!” said the other pegasus. “It's in a treehouse at Sweet Apple Acres orchard! Here, I'll show you.”

She trotted along the road, beckoning for Daring Do to follow.

* * *

A few minutes later.

“There it is!” said the helpful grey pegasus, pointing at a small treehouse. Even as Daring watched, a small orange pegasus filly riding a scooter, and wearing an eyepatch and a helmet, leapt dramatically out of the treehouse door.

“Cutie Mark Crusader away!” she yelled.

The scooter hit the ground in a shower of dust, and almost immediately made a sharp turn; directly away from Daring Do. But Daring was already in motion. This pegasus had just identified herself as a Cutie Mark Crusader; Daring would bring her head to Tirek.

Even at full speed, Daring had in instinct about traps. That recently turned earth, there, hid a net that would snap up in an instant. There was a thin thread stretched between those two apple trees – touching it would no doubt trigger a hidden dart gun or something similar. Both of those traps lay before the point where the pegasus filly had landed – which led Daring to the inescapable, and unsettling, conclusion that she had been expected.

Daring dodged the simple traps easily, and sped up. If she had been expected, then the headquarters had probably been abandoned. Her best chance to find out where the other Crusaders were was to catch this one. There would almost certainly be further traps. Perhaps even a few mooks to beat up.

Daring relished the challenge.

The little orange filly ducked under a large stallion, and continued on her way. There was no time for finesse – Daring simply charged up to the stallion, and delivered a kick that would put the average tribesman out of the fight for days, perhaps weeks.

The stallion dodged to one side and, almost casually, placed his hoof in front of Daring Do's face. She was going too fast to stop, too fast to dodge. She was only dazed for a moment, but that was enough; the stallion placed his hoof on her back, and held her very firmly down.

“Eenope.” he said, with finality.

Author's Note

There are two new stories which started from the same prompt as this one!

For more tales of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in a world unexpectedly shorn of cutie marks by different authors, see Crusade at Midnight Castle by Carabas (wherein Tirek, having won, is far more intelligent, but appears to have made the mistake of not draining the Cutie Mark Crusaders' magic) or Der Untergang, by Monokeras, in which Tirek's defeat resulted in all the magic he'd stolen being lost forever...

(Both links have also been added to the story's description)

Recruitment

Colour flowed slowly back into Daring's mane, and then on through her body. Into her head, hanging down, almost but not quite touching the upward-pointing spikes on the floor. Into her wings, tied to her barrel with a dozen layers of rope. Into her hooves, all four tied together with a single rope, the other end tied to a ceiling beam.

...something glistened on the tips of the spikes, some potion that had been applied. Possibly a deadly poison. They were in a zebra shaman's hut; so there was no telling what the stuff on the spikes did.

Escaping would be easy; Daring could swing back and forth to evade the spikes. Slip her hooves out of the rope at the right moment. Crash to the floor, over there, near the table. Grab the knife, to use as an impromptu weapon – and free her wings, if possible.

Escaping would be easy, if it weren't for the fact that the zebra shaman was sitting a few feet away, with a loaded crossbow pointed directly at Daring's head. Daring couldn't help but notice that the tip of the crossbow bolt glistened.

These two had apparently gone to a lot of trouble, just to have the stallion read a book at her for several hours.

Daring would simply have to wait for the zebra shaman to fall asleep, and then escape. And once she escaped, she could return to hunting... down........

Daring blinked rapidly, several times. “Did... did I just try to kill a filly?” she asked.

“Eeyup.” said the stallion, looking up from the book.

The zebra put down her crossbow, smiling for the first time since Daring had first seen her. “Ah, Daring Do, student of the past.” she said. “It is good to meet you – at last. For the trap, please accept my contrition. But I'm sure you understand our position.”

“Yeah.” said Daring. “What did Tirek do to me?”

“Tirek has taken Discord's abilities.” said the zebra. “Losing to him carries certain – liabilities.” With one hoof, she pushed the platform of spikes away from under Daring's head. “Would you like aid in the chore of returning your hooves to the floor?”

“Nah, I've got this.” Daring looked up at her hooves, and wriggled the left front like so while twisting the right rear... and all four hooves promptly slipped out of their bonds, leaving her to fall the short distance to the floor where the spikes had been.

“It's the same thing he did to the Royal Guard, isn't it?” asked Daring.

“Eeyup.” said the stallion.

“They've got no more choice about following him than I did?”

“Eenope.”

“But you know how to fix it?”

“Eeyup.”

“How?”

“Mah sister had it once.” said the stallion. He closed the book, and sat up. “Ah'm Big Mac.”

“Zecora is my name,” added the zebra, “defeating Tirek is our aim.”

“I see.” said Daring. “And the two of you – you're the real Cutie Mark Crusaders? The ones who've been inspiring all this resistance against Tirek?”

Big Mac grinned, just a little. “Eenope.” he said.

Zecora raised her voice slightly. “Enter, girls,” she called, “and take a seat, Daring's cure is now complete!”

Daring looked up at the door, and saw three underage fillies trot in.

“Hi!” said the earth pony. “Ah'm Applebloom, an' this is Scootaloo, an' Sweetie Belle. We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

Daring stared at the three of them, and then sighed and raised a hoof to her head. “I am going to have to edit this chapter,” she muttered, “my editor would never believe...”

“Eeyup.” agreed Big Mac, wryly.

“You three.” said Daring, frowning at the fillies. “You three are the last hope that stands against Tirek? Three small fillies that have accomplished acts of sabotage from Las Pegasus to Baltimare?”

“Weeeeellllll... not exactly.” admitted Sweetie Belle. “You know all those newspaper articles about things we did?”

“Yes?” asked Daring.

“We really just wrote the articles.” admitted Applebloom. “We were kinda vague at first.”

“I wrote our jingle.” said Sweetie Belle.

“An' then ponies started writing in to the paper,” said Applebloom, “saying they wished they could help. We mailed them potions back. You know, sleep potions, sudden plant growth, one that turns flowers carnivorous...”

“Or told them about other ponies in the same city that also wanted to help.” added Scootaloo. “Turns out there's way too much paperwork involved in running a resistance.”

“Yeah, that part was mostly Zecora's idea.” said Applebloom. “We were jus' gonna build a trebuchet an' assault Tirek's castle.”

Daring shook her head. “Not a good idea.” she said. “If the Canterlot Crossbow couldn't do him in, a mere lump of rock is unlikely to inconvenience him in the least. There'd need to be some way to drain him of his magic, first.”

The Crusaders grinned. “Oh, we think we know how to do that, now.” said Applebloom. “We'll just need your help fetching one of the things we'll need...”

“A Wonderbolts badge.” added Scootaloo. “I can tell you exactly where it is.”

Daring sighed. “In some hidden temple, buried beyond ancient traps and guardians?”

“Nah.” said Scootaloo, shaking her head. “It's in a house, in Ponyville. No traps, no guardians.”

Daring raised an eyebrow. “And you need me to get it, because?”

“Cloud house.” said Applebloom.

“Oh.” said Daring. Then, when she realised that without her natural pegasus magic, she could no more walk on clouds than an earth pony, she added “Oh.”

Cloud House

Daring floated through the air, drifting gently towards the cloud house. Tied to her barrel were dozens of helium balloons, holding her up, doing most of the work of her missing flight magic, leaving her wings free for steering.

Also tied to her barrel was a thick rope; this anchored her to a large rock, which rested on top of a little red cart that was pushed around by the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

The net effect wasn't nearly as easy or manoeuvrable as her normal flight, but it did do the job of keeping Daring in the air.

“Where did you get all these balloons, anyway?” she called out.

“Pinkie's room!” squeaked the white unicorn. Sweetie Belle, Daring thought to herself. It was always important to get the names right, for her books. Though... there was no way that this chapter was going to go without some substantial editing.

She glanced down as she approached the cloud house, and saw the rope beneath her slicing through the floor like a cheesewire cutting through cheese. She winced slightly at the thought – cloudhouses did not come cheap, which meant that whoever lived here likely earned significantly more than Daring herself did. Still, the least she could do was minimize the damage.

“Alright, stop!” she called down.

The crusaders immediately stopped pushing the cart, and Daring swayed back and forth slightly, like the bob of an inverted pendulum.

“I'm at the door.” Daring called down. “Where did you say this badge was?”

“Go into the hallway,” called the pegasus from below, “third door on the left is her room, and you'll find it on the bedside cabinet.”

“Right!” Daring poked at the closed door – without pegasus magic, her hoof simply passed right through where the lock would have been, disintegrating it. She blew at the door, and swung back slightly as it opened.

“Forward!” she called out. The Crusaders pushed their cart, and Daring drifted slowly into the cloud house.

The first thing she noticed was that this place was clearly owned by a pegasus with a Wonderbolts obsession. There were posters, memorabilia, souvenirs, all with a Wonderbolt theme. The second thing that Daring noticed was that she wasn't alone.

“There's a flying turtle in here!” she called out, trying to fend the affectionate animal off before its spinning propeller cut through her balloon strings.

“Tortoise!” cried out three voices from below, all at once.

“That's Tank!” called the little pegasus. (What was her name again? Daring knew that this was going to bother her all day.)

“He's Rainbow's pet!” added the earth pony. Daring remembered her name – Applebloom.

“He prob'ly hasn't been fed since Tirek took over!” called out the pegasus. “D'you think you could feed him while you're there?”

Daring rolled her eyes. “Why not?” she muttered, under her breath. Then she asked, out loud, “What does he eat?”

“Lettuce!” called the pegasus. “Icebox! In the kitchen! First door on the left! Could you also fill up his water bowl?”

“Fine!” said Daring. “Forward!” With a few nudges of her hoof, she managed to persuade the persistent pet to back off a little, and took another glance around the room. There was a small bookshelf in the corner, filled with... ha! Her entire series!

Daring allowed herself a small smile, before remembering that she was cutting a line through this homeowner's expensive floor. Part of her mind suggested that perhaps she shouldn't mention that part in her book, but it was outvoted by the part that said it would be a bad idea to be dishonest with a fan.

...wait, not the entire series. One book was missing... her latest, Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny.

And then she glanced at the small cloud table next to the bookshelf, where Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny stood proudly displayed, surrounded by news clippings about a “sonic rainboom”*. Daring smiled again, at the memory of the brash blue pegasus who had stumbled into her home one day, and had played such a critical part in her following defeat of Ahuizotl.

There was a small photo next to the book, of Daring Do and Rainbow Dash hugging. Daring nodded – she remembered that photo. She didn't expect that there would have been many copies of Rainbow's photo – aside from Rainbow herself, only the most dedicated of fans would go to the bother of tracking down such an obscure piece.

And then Daring Do got a little bit closer to the picture, and saw the inscription written on it. It was short - “To Rainbow Dash” - but surely Rainbow would never have let go of the signed photo?

It was at this point that realisation struck. This wasn't just the cloud house of some anonymous pegasus, quickly ignored and quickly forgotten, a mere footnote in one of her books. This was the cloud house of a bright blue mare with lightning on her flanks, of a pegasus who didn't know what “stop” meant and hadn't quite grasped “slow down” either. A pegasus who would kick Ahuizotl in the jaw if she could get close enough, but who couldn't sneak if her life depended on it.

This... this was where Rainbow Dash lived.

Daring glanced down at the line her rope had cut through the floor again. Now that she knew whose floor it was, she felt even worse about it. And Tank – Tank was Rainbow Dash's pet tortoise. She looked up again, and -

“STOP!” she cried out.

Down below, the cart immediately stopped.

“Back just a little bit,” she called down, “I've gone past the kitchen door.”

* * *

Next to the road, atop a small hill just outside Fillydelphia, a yellow earth pony sat on top of his vehicle and took stock of his provisions.

“Three sleeping potions, extra strong. One plant growth potion. Two carnivorous flower potions. Three smoke cloud potions. Should be plenty.”

He rapped one hoof on the roof of his vehicle, making a metallic clanging sound. “What do you think, Boneless II? Can we take on the Royal Guard here as well? Or do you think they'll be better prepared than they were in Las Pegasus?”

There was no reply.

“Yeah, I agree.” said Cheese Sandwich, after a moment. “Whatever Tirek did to these guys, they're not exactly showing much initiative anymore.”

He hopped down into the party tank, closing the hatch behind him, and lowered a pair of goggles over his eyes.

“Let's party.”

* * *

“Look, I gave him some lettuce.” called down Daring. “You don't exactly get running water in a cloud house, you know. Rainbow's just got a small raincloud in the kitchen, but without pegasus magic, I can't get the water out of it.”

There was some rapid chattering down below, and then the sound of hooves galloping away.

“We'll make another plan to give Tank his water, then.” called up the pegasus. (What was her name? Scooter-something, wasn't it? Daring knew that she'd have to get it right for the book. She'd probably need to age up the brave leader of the Cutie Mark Crusaders a few years, but she didn't dare get the names wrong.) “Get the badge first, we'll come back to that.”

* * *

Down on the ground, Applebloom raced back towards Sugarcube Corner. She stopped in the doorway to catch her breath; without her natural magic, she'd found, she could hardly run worth anything anymore.

“Yes, dear?” said Mrs. Cake, spotting her. “Was there anything else you needed?”

Applebloom nodded, and panted a few moments longer. “Bucket.” she said, after a bit. “A bucket of water, please, Mrs. Cake. And If I could use a few more balloons and Pinkie's helium tank again... oh, an' another rope... an'... an' can Ah borrow a cart to carry it all in?”

“Of course, dearie.” said Mrs. Cake, with a maternal smile. The things these fillies used in their eternal cutie mark quest... but their hearts were in the right place, and she knew that Pinkie would have had no objection had she been present.

* * *

“Alright, I've got the badge.” called down Daring. “Do you think you can get me back out, the same way as I came in?”

“Sure!” said the pegasus. There was the sound of a rapidly approaching cart, and a panting pony.

“Just, wait a moment,” said the pegasus. “We're gonna take you past Tank's terrarium again.”

“I don't see how that'll help.” called down Daring. “I don't see any water I can get to up here.”

“No worries!” called up the pegasus. “We've solved that!”

Daring sighed. “Right.” she muttered to herself. On the bright side, while tedious, this cloud house was nowhere near as dangerous as most of her more usual quests...

* * *

“I'm here!” she called down, a few minutes later. Tank was happily, but slowly, munching on a lettuce leaf and looking longingly at his empty water bowl.

“Right!” called up the earth pony from below. “Here comes the water!”

“Where?” asked Daring Do – and then the clouds parted near her, and a bucket drifted up. There were dozens of balloons tied to the handle, and a rope from the bucket went down towards the ground.

Daring rolled her eyes. “I guess we've made enough of a mess of Rainbow's floor.” she muttered, putting the Wonderbolts badge down on a nearby bit of floor. Carefully, she took the bucket and shifted it near Tank's water bowl, and then, just as carefully, tipped it sideways. Water sloshed from the bucket into the bowl.

Unfortunately, this meant that the bucket got lighter – quite substantially lighter, since Applebloom had got Mrs. Cake's largest bucket. But the balloons attached to the bucket still produced the same amount of lifting force; with a result that a good deal more upward force was passed along the rope.

The Crusaders had tied the rope to the same rock as the rope that Daring Do was tied to. It was, on reflection, not quite as heavy a rock as it could have been. Had Maud Pie been there, she would have immediately identified it as consisting of mainly pumice; a rock known, among other things, for being light enough to float on water**.

The Crusaders had chosen it because it was easy to push around on their cart, while at the same time being large enough to look immovable. At the same time, however, without the water in the bucket, the combined lifting power of the various balloons was enough to lift said rock into the air.

“Hey!” called Daring, reaching down and trying to grab onto something solid. Unfortunately, the only solid thing there to grab onto was Tank's lettuce – the tortoise gave Daring a reproachful look as she drifted up through the ceiling with his supper in her hooves.

Daring, herself, just looked down at the Wonderbolts badge still sitting on Rainbow Dash's kitchen floor, until she broke through the roof and the drifting wisps of cloud hid it from sight.

* * *

“She's driftin' away!” called Scootaloo. All three Crusaders leapt towards the rock, hoping to provide enough weight to hold it down. Slow though it rose, however, the rock's speed was deceptive; it wasn't rising fast, but it was rising faster than anypony could expect; Sweetie's jump missed the rock entirely, and while Applebloom managed to get a grip on one side, the rock crumbled beneath her hooves and dropped her back to the ground.

Only Scootaloo's leap was successful, but her small pegasus body did not weigh enough to prevent Daring from drifting into the wide blue yonder. It only meant that she, along with Daring Do, was now at the mercy of the winds.

* * *

“Oh, dear.” said Mrs. Cake, looking out of the window.

“What's the matter, sugarlump?” called Mr. Cake, from further in the shop.

“Miss Dash's cloud house, sweetpea.” called back Mrs. Cake. “It seems to be... disintegrating.”

“Well, that's not good, muffincake.” said Mr. Cake. “Is the whole thing disintegrating, or just a few parts?”

“It looks like the whole thing, sugarmuffin. Her rainbow waterfalls have just gone. I hope there wasn't anypony standing underneath...”

* A very persistent pegasus legend. Apparently somepony had won the last Best Young Flier's contest by doing one. Personally, Daring wouldn't believe it was possible until she saw it herself.

**Maud had written thirteen poems about pumice.

Balloons

Daring Do watched as the cloud house disintegrated below her, the damage that had been done to it too much for the internal magic to continue to hold together. The rock that should have anchored her to the ground burst through the clouds, revealing a little orange pegasus filly, who smiled and waved at her.

...of course. Some tagalong kid, just to make it harder for Daring to get back to ground level. Could there be any more evidence that the universe hated her? Daring reached for her belt, for the small knife she kept there... but her hoof brushed against an empty scabbard. There it was, indeed, more evidence that the universe hated her.

Daring sighed, and took stock of the situation. There were two problems – the first problem was too many balloons. It wouldn't be a good idea to get rid of all the balloons, she knew, since she was already high enough that an unslowed fall could injure her – but she had to get rid of some of them.

The second problem was the filly on the rock below, whose name she still couldn't seem to recall. The poor little pegasus was no doubt relying entirely on Daring to get out of her rather dangerous predicament. Daring looked down again... and sure enough, the filly was looking up with a trusting and hopeful expression on her face.

“Hang on tight, kid!” she called down.

Items at hand... no knife, unfortunately. It would be so much easier if she could cut just a few of the balloons loose. A lettuce, the lunch of a flying tortoise; her hat; a pair of wings but no flight magic, so she could steer but hardly slow a fall...

Inspiration struck.

Daring looked down, below the pegasus on the crumbly rock, and saw what she hoped to see... a small green shell, topped by a set of helicopter blades.

“Hey, Tank!” she called. “Here, Tank, here boy!” She waved the lettuce. “You want some nice green lettuce? Here, boy! Cooooome and get it!”

Much to her relief, the tortoise took the bait. The green shell rose, approaching rapidly, faster than the wind that blew Daring Do out over the nearby forest.

“Here, boy!”

“What do you need Tank for?” asked the filly.

“You'll see.” said Daring, with a wink. “Heeeeeeere boy! Nice yummy lettuce, alllllll for you! We'll be on the ground in no time, kid, just hold on tight.”

It was only a moment before the tortoise closed the distance; Daring tempted him closer with lettuce leaves. And then she moved the lettuce back slightly, holding it alongside her body; Tank followed. Finally, Daring hooked one hoof over one of the balloon strings, and pulled it forward, tugging the string so that it touched the edge of Tank's helicopter blades; and the blades lived up to their name, slicing instantly through the thin string.

Daring allowed herself a small smile at the sight of the escaping balloon. If she could just get the quantities right, this would be her ticket back to the gentle landing on the ground. She hooked a hoof around another handful of strings, and let Tank's blades cut through them as well. She noticed the rock with the pegasus on it getting closer, as the balloon-bedecked bucket was now rising a good deal faster than she was; another hooffull of strings, and Daring was definitely dropping, albeit slowly.

She carefully sliced through one final string, and felt her fall speed up. The rope around her middle abruptly caught her, now hanging from the rock (and the bucket) instead of vice-versa; the sudden jerk caused her to drop the lettuce, which fell down to the dark forest canopy below. Tank buzzed mournfully for a bit, and then, deprived of his lunch for the second time, buzzed away somewhere else.

Daring studied the canopy for a moment... they were a long way up, and it was hard to tell, but she was pretty sure that they were slowly descending... she turned aside, and studied a passing cloud, instead. Either the cloud was rising, or she was sinking.

Daring looked up at the rock, grinning. “See, kid?” she asked. “We're drifting down now, so we just gotta wait until we hit the ground, and then hoof it back to Ponyville!”

“Through the Everfree Forest?” asked the kid, peering cautiously over the edge of the rock.

“Sure, is that a pr- hey!” Daring looked up, past the kid, to the bucket; the half-empty bucket with dozens of balloons tied to the handle which was holding up the kid and the rock and doing a sterling job of ensuring that Daring didn't fall too fast.

The half-empty bucket which Tank had just buzzed his way towards, presumably in search of a drink of water.

“Get away from that bucket!” shouted Daring, waving her hooves frantically.

“Me?” asked the filly.

“Not you! Tank! His propeller's gonna -”

Tank moved forward, reaching his head down for the water, and his propeller passed through the space directly above the bucket's handle. In an instant, every balloon holding the bucket up was sliced loose, and the balloons flew up into the sky in an explosion of colour.

And, to Daring's horror, the bucket, the rock, and the filly all dropped like stones.

Tank, of course, just hovered there, looking surprised at the fact that a bucket of water had just decided to flee from him.

A flap of her wings tugged Daring aside, before the rock could smash into her head. A swipe of her hooves, and she was holding the filly. Another flap of her wings, and the falling bucket missed them both.

Then the rock reached the bottom of its fall, and Daring knew that she was falling too fast, that a broken leg (at least) awaited her on the forest floor. And if the forest was dangerous, then a broken leg could be a death sentence.

“Untie the rope!” she said, turning the filly around so that her forehooves were at about the middle of Daring's body. “Untie the rope, quickly! We need to lose the rock!”

“Got it!” said the filly, going to work immediately on the knot with teeth and forehooves

Daring wasn't sure she'd be quick enough. Looking down at the forest below. Daring spotted something that could give them a little extra time, and angled her wings to try to change precisely where they hit.

...at least the filly was listening, that was one good thing in all this.

The ground was approaching, far too fast. It charged at Daring, too big a target for her to avoid entirely, a million trees pointing up like miniature spears, approaching too fast for Daring to make any other last-minute plans...

...and then the ground went past, as Daring and the filly dived into a deep chasm that split the forest in two. The boulder had smashed through a rope bridge, Daring noticed...

“Got it!” cried out the filly, triumphantly. The rope snaked its way off Daring's barrel, releasing her from the combined weight of bucket and rock, and letting the balloons still attached to her slow her fall to a more manageable speed.

“Well done, kid.” she said. “Now climb up and sit on my back.” That way, she carefully didn't say, she could at least be sure that the filly didn't break a leg when they hit the bottom of the chasm.

The rock, she couldn't help but notice, shattered into pebbles when it hit the ground. She felt very, very glad that she wouldn't be hitting it quite so fast. There were ways to land which would minimize the chances of serious injury – flap her near-useless wings to slow the fall, let her hooves touch ground and then collapse her legs, spreading the impact over time as much as possible – but there was no guarantee, never any guarantee...

Fortunately, Daring was lucky this time, landing without serious injury.

“Urg.” she said, not bothering to get up just yet. “Please tell me you know the way back to town from here, kid?”

“Sure I do!” said the little pegasus, grinning widely. “You wanna see the harmony box first?”

“Harmony box?” asked Daring.

“It's what we're collecting all these things for!” said the pegasus, jumping up and down in excitement. “It's just in that cave right there!”

“...huh. That's convenient.”

* * *

“...an' that's why we need ta borrow your helicopter.” said Applebloom. The earnestness of her plea, Cherry Berry decided, was somewhat undercut by the fact that she and Sweetie Belle appeared to have both been dipped in liquid rainbow (or possibly had it spilt all over them, it was hard to be sure).

Cherry blinked rapidly at the two little lumps of rainbow colour. “As much as I'd love to help you,” she said, “I don't have any fuel at the moment.”

“Aaaargh!” said Applebloom. “What are we gonna do?”

“What are you gonna do about what?” asked Scootaloo, strolling casually along.

“Not now, Scootaloo, Ah gotta figure out some way ta rescue... Scootaloo?”

“Yes?” said Scootaloo, with a cheeky grin.

“SCOOTALOO!” yelled Applebloom, and her and Sweetie Belle leapt forward to hug their little pegasus friend, getting rainbows all over her – not that any of the minded in the least.

“The only downside,” said Daring Do, mentally noting down Scootaloo's name, “is that I, unfortunately, left the Wonderbolts badge on the floor when I was dragged off. On the bright side, it probably fell to the ground, so it should be somewhere around the area where...”

“Didn't I tell you?” asked Scootaloo. She reached into her mane and pulled out a Wonderbolts badge. “When I came up through Rainbow's floor, it was right there, so I picked it up...”

Animals

“That's four.” said Applebloom, firmly. “Ah got the bit from mah sister's room...”

“Are you sure it's the right bit?” asked Scootaloo.

“Ah'm pretty sure.” said Applebloom. “If it's not, Ah can go back an' look again. You got the Wonderbolts badge...”

“I got my sister's thread!” squeaked Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, an' we got Boneless from Pinkie's room while we were gettin' the balloons.” finished Applebloom. “Next up, we got ta get the flower from Fluttershy's house.”

All three fillies turned imploring looks towards Daring Do.

Daring sighed, and pulled her hat down over her face. “Please tell me Fluttershy doesn't live in a cloud house.” she said.

“Nope! On the ground!” said Sweetie Belle.

“Little cottage next to the Everfree.” said Applebloom.

“I've been there lots of times!” added Scootaloo.

“Well, that's positive.” Daring pushed her hat back to its proper place. “And do you know where in the house this flower is?”

“Nope.” Applebloom shook her head.

“This Fluttershy – she doesn't sell flowers or anything, does she?”

“Nope.” said Scootaloo.

“And her home's not filled with deathtraps?”

“No.” said Sweetie Belle.

“Alright, then. Why haven't you got this flower then?”

“Weeellllll...” said Applebloom. “You remember Tank?”

Daring Do sighed. “How could I forget?”

“You remember how he hadn't been properly fed for, well, a few weeks?”

Daring nodded.

“Well... Fluttershy's kinda got lots of animals.”

Daring sighed. “Cats?” she asked.

“Mice.” said Applebloom.

“Birds.” added Sweetie Belle.

“And a bear.” contributed Scootaloo.

“An', yeah, cats.” nodded Applebloom.

“And cute little puppies.” continued Sweetie Belle.

“And a bear.” repeated Scootaloo.

“And tortoises, butterflies...”

“...eagles, bats, butterflies, bees...”

“And a bear.”

“Chickens, geese, owls...”

“...rabbits, rats, weasels...”

“And a bear.”

“Okay, okay, I think I get the point. So, this 'Fluttershy's' cottage... it's full of probably-hungry critters of all sorts, including, most probably, at least one bear?”

“Eeyup.” nodded Applebloom.

“And, do you by any chance happen to know what this particular flower looks like?

“Eenope.” Applebloom shook her head.

“...right.”

* * *

Daring knocked at Fluttershy's door, very cautiously.

“Yeah?” called a voice from inside.

Daring blinked. This... had not been what she'd expected. Perhaps she had the directions wrong? It wouldn't do to go breaking into a stranger's house, after all.

Daring reviewed that thought, and edited it – it wouldn't do to go breaking into the wrong stranger's house.

“Is this Miss Fluttershy's house?” she called out.

“Yeah.” said the voice from indoors. After a moment, it added “She's not in.”

“Ah, right. Of course. Um, I'm actually here looking for a flower...”

“A flower?” There was the sound of approaching hoofsteps, and then the door opened, to reveal what must have been the third-biggest pegasus Daring Do had ever seen, a huge white fellow, with muscles on his muscles and tiny, underdeveloped wings. There was a grumpy-looking rabbit seated on his back. “Fluttershy doesn't usually sell flowers.”

“Er. Well, actually, it's... this is going to take some explanation. You see, my name is Daring Do, and -”

The pegasus raised one eyebrow. “Yeah? You're Daring Do?”

“Yes.” said Daring, firmly.

“Well, come in, come in!” The pegasus grabbed Daring by one hoof and dragged her indoors. “My name's Bulk Biceps, I'm just here to feed the animals. Standard arrangement, any time Miss Fluttershy's out saving the world again. But I've heard all about you!”

“You have?” asked Daring.

“Every pegasus in Ponyville has!” said Bulk, vigorously shaking Daring's hoof. “See, there's this pegasus by the name of Rainbow Dash...”

“Ah.” said Daring. “I quite understand.”

“Yeah, so, I must admit, I rather thought you were just a story.” continued Bulk. “But now I'm guessing... with the Bearers of the Elements down... you're here to save the day, right? Defeat Tirek once and for all, save everypony, like in the books?”

“Yes.” said Daring, firmly.

“And this flower will help?”

“Yes.”

“Right, well, I'm not going to ask for details, I can read them in your book later, I'm sure. Does it need to be a specific flower, or will any flower do?”

“A specific one.” said Daring, firmly. “The trouble is, I don't know what it looks like.”

“Hmmm. So, if I could get every flower in the house to right here?”

“That would be perfect.” said Daring.

“Right.” Bulk Biceps grinned. “Watch this.” He turned his head, and addressed the bunny sitting on his back. “Angel? Did you hear that?”

The bunny glared at Bulk, but reluctantly nodded.

“If Miss Do gets the right flower,” said Bulk, “then she'll save Miss Fluttershy.”

Angel considered, then conceded the point with a nod, and a shrug.

“The sooner Miss do gets the flower, the sooner she can save Miss Fluttershy.” continued Bulk.

Angel frowned, but nodded again.

“So why not get the critters together?” asked Bulk. “Pull together every flower in the house, so that we don't waste valuable time searching through the nooks and crannies?”

Angel considered this for almost half a minute, then snorted and hopped off Bulk's back.

Bulk sat down next to Daring. “And now we wait.” he said, firmly.

“So... the bunny's going to...”

“Miss Fluttershy has a way with animals.” said Bulk, firmly. “They'll do almost anything to get her back.”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later

“The horror! The horror!” Rose galloped full-tilt through the streets of Ponyville.

“AAAAAAHHHHHHH!” screamed Daisy, chasing after the swarm of starlings which had just flown off with her entire stock.

* * *

“Did you perhaps,” said Daring Do, “just send out a few hundred animals to fetch flowers without ever specifying that the search was to be limited to flowers that came from inside the cottage?”

“...yeah.” admitted Bulk, quietly.

“Well, what's done is done. The right flower's almost certainly got to be in this pile.” Daring looked over the pile, and added “You can pull a really big cart, right?”

“Yeah!”

“Great. Now, you you know where a really big cart is? We've got to get these flowers to a location in the Everfree Forest...”

* * *

At the Tree of Harmony

Zecora's eyes bulged as Daring and Bulk entered the cavern, accompanied by the biggest cart Bulk could find. “You've bought a lot of flowers.” she said.

“Oh, don't worry.” said Daring. “This is just the first load. There's probably about two more to go.”

“I'll never again doubt your powers.” Zecora assured Daring. “Bring that cart nearer, I can make your task clearer.”

“Yeah!” volunteered Applebloom.

“This part's cool!” said Scootaloo, jumping up and down, wings buzzing.

Daring shrugged, and waved Bulk forward. Bulk trotted a little closer to Zecora, and the locked box in front of her with three keys in it.

“Be not misled, keep your eyes on this thread.” said Zecora, holding up the spool of thread. She tossed it towards the box, and it stopped in mid-air in front of one of the keyholes. The spool of thread spun several times, then reformed into a key, sliding neatly into the lock.

“So... we toss the flowers one by one at the box, until we find the one that turns into a key?” asked Daring Do.

“It is a simple task.” said Zecora. She turned to the Crusaders. “And it is your help I'll ask.”

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER KEY OF HARMONY FINDERS, YAY!”

“That would take us up to five keys.” said Daring, as the three fillies began to rapidly empty the cart. “Where's the sixth?”

“That I cannot say.” said Zecora. “I hope Discord will find a way.”

“Discord?” asked Daring. “You mean, Discord, the avatar of chaos? Discord, who helped Tirek absorb everypony's magic? That Discord?”

“On him lies our final hope.” said Zecora. “As long as he can cope.”

“Right.” said Daring, firmly. “I can see I'm going to have to do some serious research.” She straightened out her hat. “But don't worry, finding relics is my speciality.”

“Is that Heart's Desire?” asked Zecora, looking at the flowers the Crusaders were tossing aside. “And there – Phoenix Fire?” She rushed forward, and quickly began pulling certain blossoms out of the Crusader's discard pile.

Daring sighed. “You know,” she said to Bulk, “I'd be willing to bet that right now, Discord is in Tirek's throne room, trying not to laugh.”

* * *

“So, who's laughing now Discord?” boomed Tirek, triumphantly, from his throne. A bruised and battered baby dragon hung by his wrists from the ceiling, and six unhappy ponies were tied to his throne.

Discord, who had Shining Armour's spear pointed at his back, didn't reply. Instead, Shining Armour saluted. “Found him wandering around the palace, sir.” he said.

Shining Armour

“Well?” asked Tirek, looking down at Discord. “Got nothing to say, have you?”

Shining Armour nervously brushed a lock of electric-blue mane back under his helmet, and poked Discord in the back with his spear again. It really was a very sharp spear.

Discord grinned widely. It wasn't the grin of a defeated dragonequus; it was the grin of a dragonequus who knows something very important that the person he is grinning at doesn't. And a dragonequus has a very large mouth to grin with.

And then Discord opened his mouth. A potion vial, which had been resting on his tongue, dropped and fell to the floor.

“What?” asked Tirek, as a cloud of smoke billowed out from the shattered vial, hiding the ponies temporarily from his sight. He took a deep breath, and blew with all his might... the cloud drifted away after only a few moments, but now Discord was lying flat on his back in front of Tirek's throne, relaxing, as if on a beach.

“You know,” said Discord, “I really do miss the days I could do that with just a snap of my claws.”

“You've done something.” said Tirek, placing one hoof on Discord's chest and stomping down, hard. “I know you have, but...”

Tirek suddenly noticed what was missing.

“The amulet!” he said, pointing at Twilight's bare neck. “Scorpan's amulet! What have you done with it?”

“I ate it.” said Twilight, promptly.

“Threw it out the window, of course.” wheezed Discord, waving his lion paw in the direction of the window he'd shattered in his escape. “Had an accomplice waiting outside... thing's halfway to Baltimare by now, no doubt.”

Tirek frowned at Discord, and then deliberately shifted more weight onto the dragonequus.

“Guard captain.” he said.

Shining Armour saluted. “Sir?”

“I don't know what Discord's planning, but he let himself get recaptured just to get that amulet out. Round up the guard, find that amulet, get it back. Remember, it might not be headed for Baltimare!”

“Yes, sir.” Shining saluted again, turned around, and marched out of the throne room.

“In the meantime,” said Tirek, finally removing his hoof from Discord's torso and dragging the dragonequus up to eye level with his stolen magic, “we are going to have a little discussion about your escape. And what do you know – I already have the red-hot coals all ready.”

Discord looked down at the hot coals, and then up at Spike, hanging by his claws. He burst out laughing. “Oh dear, oh dear, were you actually trying to torture a dragon with fire?”

* * *

Zecora looked over Daring's shoulder as she finally closed the Friendship Diary. “Have you found what you sought, or has your search been for nought?” she asked.

“There's definitely clues in there.” said Daring. “The first five... now that I know what they are I can spot the pattern. Interestingly enough, the entries are dated at fairly regular intervals as well, if I follow that pattern, the sixth key should have been related to the final pony in the diary – Twilight Sparkle – and should have been obtained around about...”

Daring frowned at the stalactites for a moment, and then finished “...around about the same time as the fight against Tirek. Princess Sparkle was heavily involved in that, right?”

“She certainly fought, yet at the end she was caught.”

“Yesssss... if the other keys follow the pattern of this one, then she should have been given something either before, during, or shortly after that battle, some object which would serve as the sixth key, in thanks for some lesson learnt about... either magic or friendship... either way, Princess Sparkle will know what it is... she was there when I broke into Tirek's throne room.” Daring paused for a moment, tapping the book with one hoof. “She... had an amulet around her neck. That's probably what we're looking for. But after I got in there, Tirek will be guarding his palace better... it won't be easy to get the amulet out...”

Daring didn't pay attention when three fillies glanced at each other, then quietly tip-hooved out of the cave.

* * *

Shining Armour hurried through the halls of Canterlot Castle, calling out orders to the grey-maned Royal Guard. “Squad one, to Manehatten! Squad two, Baltimare! Squad three, Fillydelfia, but be careful, they didn't report in on time, there may be some trouble there! Squads four, five and six, Las Pegasus, and see if you can figure out why nopony else ever comes back from there while you're looking. Squad seven, with me, we're going to Ponyville.”

* * *

The Friendship Express pulled in to Ponyville, and a full squad of Royal Guards marched off. None of them paid any attention at all to the three small fillies quietly getting on to the train.

“You lot!” barked Shining Armour. “Check the south side of town. You lot! North side. Lieutenant Bubblegum! Take three guards and sweep the east quarter. The rest of you, search the west, particularly among the apple orchards! Remember! Finding the amulet is your top priority! Ignore anypony who doesn't have it!”

“And where will you be, sir?” asked one of the guards.

“I am going to the Everfree Forest.” stated Shining Armour. “I've heard of a zebra who lives in there.”

* * *

Shining didn't particularly bother to be quiet, as he clattered down the stone steps that led to the Cave of Harmony. He stepped inside, and there was the tree, there was the box with five keys, and there was the zebra. What he didn't see was Daring Do, carefully lowering herself from the ceiling behind him, and aiming a blowgun at his rear.

“Zecora!” he called out.

“That is my name, the very same.” said the zebra.

Shining Armour reached under his armour and pulled out Scorpan's amulet. “I understand you'll know what to do with this.” he said.

* * *

“It's quite simple, really.” said Discord, hanging from his mismatched wrists by the ropes that had once held Spike. “What it comes down to is, you're an idiot. All I had to do to defeat you was drop a few hints here and there... oh, and fetch an album of wedding photographs from the Crystal Empire.” Discord's smile broadened. “That's what you get for using my magic to try to force loyalty. I know how to undo it, and that can be done without any magic at all.”

“You haven't won yet.” snarled Tirek.

“Oh yes, I have.” said Discord. “Why don't you take a look out the window?

Tirek turned his head, just in time to see a giant rainbow arc its way up from Ponyville. It reached high into the sky, turned and fell to Equestria again... right in the middle of Tirek's throne room. The giant centaur cringed, and closed his eyes, as the light of harmony filled the room... and then faded again, leaving him untouched.

Tirek cautiously opened his eyes. “Ha!” he said, straightening up and dusting himself off. “Was that the best you could do, Discord? It hasn't had any effect on me at all!”

“Oh Tirek.” said Discord, rolling his eyes. “Why must everything always be about you?” He nodded to the throne behind Tirek, where six ponies rose up, surrounded by a magical light. “I think the rainbow worked perfectly, myself.”

Tirek turned around, and barely had time to stare in astonishment as the rainbow powers of Harmony blasted the stolen magic out of him and sent him directly back to his imprisonment in Tartarus.

Epilogue

It had taken several hours to get things in some vague semblance of order after Tirek's defeat. It didn't help that the discorded members of the Royal Guard would attack Celestia and Luna on sight; fortunately, they did still recognise Shining Armour's authority, and so he had gathered what few of the Guard remained in Canterlot in one of the courtyards, where he was running them through some basic training exercises in the hope of triggering a few memories.

Celestia herself had been visible throughout Canterlot, calm, regal, reassuring. For the first time since her rescue, she had a few moments to relax with Twilight and her friends; to sit at a table in her recently-restored throne room with a cup of tea and a slice of cake* and catch up on the news.

“But it took over three weeks!” Twilight wailed.

“That doesn't matter, Twilight.” said Celestia, calmly. “What matters is that it worked. Tirek has been defeated, has been returned to Tartarus. You didn't fail. Luna, Cadance and I trusted you with our magic, and we would do so again.”

“I just, I just feel like I could have, should have done better.” said Twilight.

“You did exactly what was needed.” insisted Celestia. She nodded at Discord. “I believe you arranged for the Box to be opened?”

“Weeeeeellllllll, in a way.” said Discord, reclining on empty air. (Somehow, the Tree of Harmony had restored the powers of the Spirit of Disharmony. Twilight wasn't sure whether she should be thinking too much about that; it might need to be filed in the same mental category as Pinkie Sense). “All I really did was find this delightfully chaotic group of fillies and give them a few hints. Oh, and spend a bit of time reminiscing with Shining Armour about his photo album.”

“You involved our sisters?” screeched Rarity.

Discord waved his lion paw. “They were already involved.” he said. “I did warn them about Daring, so -”

*B*O*O*M*

The entire castle shuddered as something hit it. Celestia's eyes widened, and the tea in her cup danced about, some splashing on the table.

“What was that?” asked Rarity, after a moment.

“I suspect,” said Celestia, taking a sip of tea, “that perhaps not everypony has realised that Tirek has already been defeated.”

“But... what was that?” asked Rainbow, hovering nervously.

“That,” said Celestia, “was the sound of a small boulder striking Canterlot Castle. Probably launched from a trebuchet. Don't worry, Luna will have this well in hoof.”

“AND HOW WOULDST THOU LIKE IT, WERE I TO THROW ROCKS AT THY DWELLING?” cried a voice from outdoors.

“At his full power, that would hardly be a distraction for Tirek.” continued Celestia, calmly. “But a brave effort, nonetheless.”

Rainbow's ears pricked up as she heard a familiar buzzing noise. “Eh-heh.” she said. “Um. Discord. You were saying you involved the Crusaders?”

“Why, yes. I gave them the information they'd need to find five of the keys and restore Daring Do's mind. Really, the most tedious thing about the whole business was the travel. Ugh, without teleportation it takes hours to get anywhere...”

The distant buzzing was a lot closer now. It was accompanied by a number of startled cries, and the crashing noises of delicate objects being shattered. Discord slowly realised that nopony seemed to be paying much attention to him anymore.

“Did you by any chance tell them where t'find the sixth key?” asked Applejack.

“Er... no. No, I don't believe I did.” replied Discord.

“Ah think they might'a worked it out.” said Applejack.

There was a screeeeeech from directly outside the throne room doors, and the sudden impact of a very determined pegasus filly on a scooter smashed them open. She made it almost two metres before Celestia calmly lifted her up off the ground.

“Relax, little pegasus.” said Celestia, calmly. “Tirek's already been defeated.”

“He... he has?” asked Scootaloo.

Rainbow Dash stepped forward and nuzzled her number one fan. “You did it, Scoots.” she said.

“But where's Sweetie Belle?” asked Rarity.

Hooves clattered onto the balcony, and Princess Luna stepped into the throne room, carrying two fillies in her aura.

“I do believe,” she said, drily, “that these two belong here?”

“Sweetie!” said Rarity, galloping across the room.

“Applebloom!” cried Applejack.

“What were you doing?” asked Rarity.

“Well...” said Sweetie, nervously.

“We kinda thought,” said Applebloom, “if we could distract Tirek, an' Scootaloo could grab the amulet from Twilight... an'... an'... Ah missed you SO MUCH!”

“And Ah missed you, too.” said Applejack, hugging her sister.

“Oh... I just got one more question, Squirt.” said Rainbow Dash. “Why the eyepatch?”

“'Cos eyepatches are cool!” said Scootaloo, happily.

“Your eye's not injured or anything?”

“Nah.”

* * *

And now it was the following afternoon; questions had been asked, stories had been shared, and, by mutual agreement, everypony had stayed the night in Canterlot Castle. Despite being provided more than enough rooms and plenty of beds, both the Bearers and the Crusaders had ended up spending the night sleeping on a pile of pillows on the floor of the room assigned to Twilight; nine ponies and a baby dragon, all in one large, multicoloured pile where anypony who woke up fearing that their ordeal was not over could simply reach out and touch friends on all sides. One of the balconies in Canterlot Castle had been decorated with some haste, ribbons and flowers covering the wall around it (an enterprising pegasus had even tied a decorative ribbon around the boulder still embedded in the nearby wall).

“Ponies of Canterlot!” announced Celestia, from the balcony**. “Tirek's brief reign is ended, and he has been re-imprisoned in Tartarus. But today there is a group of ponies to whom we are grateful! It is due, almost entirely, to their courage, resourcefulness, and last but not least, to their willingness to take the advice of others where necessary, that we owe this victory. Fillies and Gentlecolts, I have seen the newspapers from the time of Tirek's reign, and I have interviewed the ponies behind these events, the Cutie Mark Crusaders themselves!”

The cheering of the crowd drowned out what Celestia said next. She waited for the stomping to die down a little before continuing.

“These three ponies,” said Celestia, “without magic, without money, without political power, did something incredible, something amazing. And they did it in one simple way; they did not give up to despair! In doing this, they created a rebellion against Tirek's rule, and thus opened the way for one of his prisoners to escape; they found out from this prisoner how to defeat Tirek, and they did so successfully!”

There was another roar of cheering from the crowd.

“But they did not do this alone.” continued Celestia. “They had help, from several other ponies, and from some who were not ponies, in so many, many ways. In one week from today, gentleponies, there will be an award ceremony, here in Canterlot Castle, to honour these ponies, the Crusaders and all others who played their parts in ending Tirek's reign!”

This time, the cheering was even louder than before.

Behind the balcony, inside the castle, Scootaloo grinned at her friends. “Hey, do you think we could get Miss Cheerilee to bring the class here for a field trip next week?” she asked. “Just think of the look on Diamond Tiara's face...”

*Along with several bales of hay; nopony present had had a proper meal in far too long.

** The Royal Canterlot Voice permitted her to be clearly heard even without a microphone

Cutie Mark Crusader Rebels Yay!

Three weeks earlier, in the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse

“Fellow Crusaders,” said Applebloom, “Ah called this meeting for a very important reason.” She frowned at the other two. “As long as this 'Tirek' has all the magic in Equestria, we can't get our cutie marks. And even worse, he's taken our big sisters. We've gotta do something.”

“Yeah!” cheered Scootaloo.

“But what?” asked Sweetie Belle. “What can we do?”

“We can find out where our sisters are being held.” said Applebloom, firmly. “We can find out where the keys are. We can let them out, and they'll save the world again.”

“Yeah!” agreed Scootaloo. “No stupid Tirek is gonna be able to defeat Rainbow Dash!”

Applebloom cleared her throat. “He, um, kinda already did.” she pointed out.

“Not if Dash is ready for him!” insisted Scootaloo.

“Didn't Tirek move into Celestia's castle?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah...” said Scootaloo.

“And doesn't he have the entire Royal Guard working for him?” continued Sweetie Belle.

“That's right.” nodded Applebloom. “And they're standing between us and our cutie marks!”

“So... how are we going to get into the castle?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well,” said Applebloom, “Ah was thinking, first we get that book on medieval weaponry out of the library. Then we put together a trebuchet, and -”

“You mean the same library that Tirek wrecked?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Applebloom stopped to think about this for a minute.

“Okay,” she said after a bit, “so first we go to the Canterlot library and look for a book on medieval weaponry. Then -”

“What if Tirek's burned that library too?” asked Sweetie Belle. “What if he's going around burning libraries?”

Applebloom considered this point. “Mah plan might need a bit of work.” she said, eventually.

“Why don't we ask somepony?” suggested Scootaloo. “Do you know anypony who might know how to build a trebuchet?”

“It's got to be somepony who'd tell us,” said Sweetie Belle, “instead of just telling us to go away.”

All three Crusaders frowned as they thought about this. Applebloom suddenly jumped up, bumping the lamp and turning it on.

“Zecora!” she said.

* * *

Zecora's house, fifteen minutes later

“Your plan is lacking important detail.” the zebra pointed out. “As it is, it will certainly fail.”

Applebloom glared at Zecora. “We've gotta do something.” she insisted. “An' this is the best idea we've had so far.”

“Trebuchets are hard to aim.” said Zecora. “How many ponies will your boulders maim?”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Ah... guess Ah didn't think of that.” said Applebloom. “But we still gotta do something.”

“When all the land's bereft of hope,” said Zecora, “ponies will just sit and mope. But if a light of hope is found, then ponies will start to rally round.”

“So... as long as we're visibly doing something, we'll inspire others to launch their own rescue efforts?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“But who's gonna listen to three little fillies?” asked Scootaloo. “We're not awesome like Dash.”

Zecora nodded. “For the greatest chaos to be sown,” she said, “your faces must remain unknown.”

“Oh! Like Gabby Gums!” squealed Sweetie Belle.

“I don't get it.” said Scootaloo.

“When we were Gabby Gums,” explained Sweetie Belle, “nopony knew it was us. Well, not at first. So everypony listened. So if we call ourselves something and nopony knows who we are, they'll think we're grownups and listen to us!”

“Ohhhhhh!” said Scootaloo.

“We can still call ourselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders.” said Applebloom. “Nopony outside of Ponyville knows who that is.”

“I think your chances would be best,” continued Zecora, “if you'd let me aid your quest.” She smiled, just slightly. “Tirek took magic from ponies alone; one of the things for which he'll atone. Since for those who know how to enchant...” Zecora waved a hoof at the shelf of potions on her wall.

“Magic remains in every Everfree plant.”