Regarding Falling Villains

by naturalbornderpy

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Discord, Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy, King Sombra, Princess Celestia
Length: 101289

Given the successful befriending of Discord, Princess Celestia deems that no longer will villains be defeated but instead reformed. Brought back from the dead and stripped of his powers, Sombra only wishes he could have stayed dead all along.

Given the successful befriending of Discord, Princess Celestia deems that no longer will villains be defeated but instead reformed. While most have the chance to submit willingly or continue to fight, King Sombra is given little option. Brought back from the dead and stripped of all his powers and strength, it's all become a game of futility. Now Sombra only wishes he could have stayed dead all along.

Edited by spigo.

Published 2014-11-06 22:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-20 01:08:41 UTC

Chapter 2: Regarding Falling Villains, Colors, and Purple Alicorns

REGARDING FALLING VILLAINS

The blackened void had been everything I had imagined it to be. I was infinite; it was never-ending; and best of all it was quiet and completely absent of alicorns. Truly a blissful place.

Well, that’s basically how I’d always imagined such a location to be—a purgatory fit for a King. But the truth is I was too dead to notice much of anything. Death is just that. Blackness. Nothingness. Sleep without dreams or even the knowledge of sleep at all. I awoke from my first death not understanding where I’d been for the last few years. I awoke from my second death close to the same.

I opened my eyes to find a light shining into them.

“Can you hear me?” a voice asked from some dark part of the room.

I licked my dry lips. “How many years has it been?” Suddenly my mind was alight with what had happened prior. “Is Celestia still alive? Has she been stopped?”

“You’ve been dead for two hours, Sombra.”

No, my sleepy self thought. I didn’t hear that right.

“Two thousand years?” I asked meekly.

“Two hours, Sombra. And I honestly expected better of you.”

The doctor that had been shining his pocket light in my bleary eyes backed away and I found myself in the same room as before. Four glaring alicorns sat before me. While Luna merely looked bored, Celestia looked mad. Her ever flowing mane seeming to slow to rival her mood.

“I gave you the simplest of jobs,” she continued, “to try and assimilate you back into the world. You couldn’t last even half an hour without killing yourself. That was foolish on your part, Sombra. If all we needed the first time to bring you back was a piece of your horn, what makes you think that your crushed carcass would somehow prove more difficult? It was wrong of you to do and it was wrong of myself to allow you such freedom. You could have seriously hurt or killed some innocent bystander below.”

“You think I didn’t try?” I asked, barring a fang. This was still around the time I thought she’d actually cave once met with mild resistance.

Celestia ignored my jab. “It took us only two hours to bring you back, Sombra. It would have been even shorter but we broke for lunch once I had someone scrape what remained of you off the pavement. You might have thought you were showing contention by your actions but you have only tempted me to double my efforts. I will not be the one to give up on you, Sombra. There is good in you, and I will find it.”

I found my head aching something horrible around the edges of my horn—most likely where I’d first smashed into the earth. “I assure you, Celestia, there is no good in me to find.”

“We have all the time in the world, Sombra. And I have never been one to give up easily.”

“I’ll find a way out.”

“If death was your first attempt, I can’t imagine what’ll come next. If you kill yourself again, we’ll only bring you back. There is no way out of this.”

Suddenly I found it very hard to breathe. Suddenly something warm forced its way behind both of my eyes. I said stubbornly, “But I don’t want to be good.”

Celestia held no pity in her stare. “Then you should have thought of that before you enslaved an entire race and held them under your rule.”

Instead of arguing more, I sat in silence and waited for things to come to a close. Trying to verbally combat Celestia when she had her mind on something was akin to striking a solid wall with a rubber ball. It would only bounce back and hit you in the face, before the notion of something larger and heavier came to mind.

Since the work day was still in mid-motion, I was led back to my little counter and this time a royal guard was stationed only feet away from me. As much as I wanted to glare and to intimidate Celestia’s repugnant tool, an overwhelming chill in my stomach caused me to merely swirl a quill around a lone piece of paper, perhaps trying to determine just how much magic I was being granted. It was sadly not enough to give me much hope.

REGARDING THE COLOR OF FRIENDSHIP

Only an hour later did a servant of Celestia’s come and throw a white dress shirt with snap buttons on top of my counter. They told me the Princess had wanted me to fit the part and perhaps not appear as menacing as I would without it. Since I knew any such resistance would only end in Celestia’s personal visit to my desk (and I had seen enough of the white alicorn to last me at least another dozen deaths by that point), I took the shirt and slipped it on. For ten minutes I fumbled with the buttons until my personal guard came around and did them up with his horn. Somehow I had gone from a menacing King to a helpless fool in less than a day.

When he was done he told me, “You know they put up a sign outside because of you.”

I couldn’t tell if he was trying to rouse me or simply trying to chat. “What sign?”

“A blackened silhouette of you falling through the air. It says ‘Watch out for falling villains’. I doubt Celestia knows of it, though. I think it’s just a joke.”

I thought of knifes and hooks and rusty nails and somehow calmed myself down. The guard then pushed over a small name tag.

“You’re supposed to wear this, too, I guess.”

I read what it said. The first line stated: “Canterlot Reception,” and below that: “SOMBRA”. In much smaller font than the first two lines was one last word below: “Trainee.” With what magic I had left in store I added an uppercase “K.” in front of my name and threaded it to my shirt. When my guard came around to help once more I growled until he retreated. It was a small victory, but it would need to do for the time.

Barely an hour later did I summon the same dunderhead over.

“I’m cold,” I said bluntly.

“It’s not cold in here,” he answered, before peering through the set of glass doors. “It’s beautiful outside and almost stifling in here.”

I didn’t budge. “That’s because you’re wearing your uniform and standing near the door. I have a thin shirt on and sit in the shadows behind this desk. Perhaps a blanket or a… large cloth of some kind would be nice. Maybe a red one.”

The guard only stood where he was, his eyes working away on hidden notions inside.

I then sealed the deal. “I sure would feel the power of friendship if you’d do me such a kindness. I’m sure Celestia would just love to hear how much we’ve bonded, you and I.”

Something bright blossomed in his head. He regarded me sourly. “You’re not going to try for the roof again, are you?”

I scanned my desk. “You see how far it got me the last time?” I smiled at him, as bright as I could. It hurt my face but I did it anyways.

“All right. But stay there and don’t do anything.” He then turned to leave.

“Something red would be nice!” I yelled after him, as I watched him ascend a set of stairs.

The plan had never been to escape from Canterlot castle that day or any such thing. I knew after my first sudden trip from the sky, Celestia would be visibly—or at least mentally—monitoring my whereabouts. The only thing I wanted at that moment was to feel a modicum bit better. Maybe if I looked a little more like myself I might not feel so glum. It’s truly amazing how many times I can set myself up, only to be deplorably shot down.

No more than three minutes had winded by before my guard returned with a blanket that pained my already sore head to look upon. It was bright pink and even the stitches that held it together were of an even gaudier pink thread.

The guard tossed it to my counter. “Here you go.”

“This isn’t red,” I said. “This is as far away from red as I could hope to imagine.”

“I know,” he replied. “But it’s the only color Princess Celestia would give. She said it’s the color of friendship.”

I scooped up a batch of the painful cloth and held it up to him. “You know what else this color is of?”

“What?”

“Defeat.”

Then I threw it to the floor.

REGARDING MY SUPERVISOR

As if my lone guard wasn’t enough to keep my butt in the only seat they’d given me, my second day on the job I was met with another member of the guard—a higher ranking one, I was told (although I have yet to believe it). His name has something to do with Sentry and I can’t help but get the feeling I give him the creeps. While it is a nice observation to note that I can indeed still instill fear into those around me even without my menacing power, it sadly has not been enough to keep Sentry wholly out of my mane.

After a hasty introduction he decided if I was to direct visiting ponies to differing locations inside Canterlot castle, I should at least know of its many nooks and crannies. I started our short tour keeping step with the blue haired guard, but then slowed to a crawl once I realized I’d only be taken back to my desk once it was all said and done. For close to forty minutes I watched a ceiling-high curtain blow in the outside breeze. “What are you looking at, Sombra?” he had asked, curious if I was up to some new form of villainy. “A fool,” I had responded, staring daggers into him. I knew the moment I had said such a blunt observation I had made a mistake. Thirty seconds later I was back in my cell down below, ordered to add the date and other mind-numbing specifics to a number of scrolls that were to go directly to Princess Celestia. After eating the first few dry pages in pure defiance, my original guard aided by Sentry positioned themselves on either sides of my chair.

It seemed I wasn’t being as friendly as some had hoped.

REGARDING NOTORIETY

It didn’t take all that long for most of Equestria to discover what had happened to their dead King from the north. Upon discovery that I was being reintegrated into the world, most of the majority were more than pleased I was being put to use instead of spending tax payer bits lulling around in Tartarus. (I wouldn’t agree with that, but that’s just me.) At first the influx of curious gawkers annoyed me to no end, and for a good portion of the time I’d only brood in my seat while my guard or Something Sentry would fend off their questions or queries. A few even brought flashing boxes that I was told captured a likeness of oneself on a slip of shiny paper. Although I’d never admit to such pandering, I nevertheless turned my head to the right a bit to capture what I’d always considered my better side. (But neither half of my face is half bad.)

A few days of this treatment later and I found the need to break the silence. It was too weird to be stared at and not understand why. Most just wanted to hear me speak and I was—oddly—happy to oblige. When was the last time I’d actually spoken to a crowd? My usual rhetoric used to spew forth to thousands in my Crystal home and even then I’d wonder where the other thousands had hid. The foyer of the Canterlot castle could hold anywhere between thirty and fifty guests, and yet it felt like much more. For a time I answered questions regarding my job and current predicament, but soon I felt it only fitting to comment on the elephant in the castle.

“What Celestia has told you about me are nothing but false injustices,” I started, unaware how fast my guard and Something Sentry could move once prodded. “I have no intention of befriending Equestria one simple tool at a time—I only wait patiently until the moment comes to strike. Enjoy the tranquil view of the beast for now, my fools, because once out from your simpleton of a ruler’s hoof, I won’t hesitate pealing the skin from your children’s—”

Phhtph!

Suddenly I tasted floor. And blood. And now all four of my legs were being pulled behind my back, even when I didn’t think they were supposed to bend that way. “Owwww!” I yelled to the ground, even though no one seemed to be listening.

While my guard more or less sat atop of me, holding me in place, Something Sentry regarded the rest of the room. “Sombra apologizes for the comments he’s just made. It’s been a long day and—”

“No I don’t!” I yelled through bloodstained teeth. That was when my guard shifted his weight towards my head, smashing my muzzle into the dirty floor behind my counter. Having been tasked with cleaning the area every few days, I had no one to blame but myself when an entire lint ball got sucked up my nose.

“And Sombra will be taking the rest of the day off,” he finished, a wonderful amount of unease in his voice. Oops, I had mused on that pleasant day. Someone’s day just got a bit more interesting.

REGARDING PURPLE ALICORNS

It was my third day in that pit called a job when my tormentor threw another knife into my gut. Even if Celestia would never dare mention of such a ploy, I had no notions of why a certain little purple alicorn would suddenly visit unless under orders. Regardless, she played a good game.

“You look bored,” she told me, when she must have grown tired of watching me stare through her as though she didn’t exist. “You want to help me with a crossword puzzle?”

It was weird to hear a glass door talk with such directness and sense of self but I ignored it anyways. Sadly, she did not give me the same level of courtesy.

“You want to help me with a crossword puzzle?” she asked again.

It was clear she had nothing else to do that day.

I said, “I don’t know what that is and I wouldn’t want to either.”

This did not lead to the outcome I had foreseen.

“Great! Then I’ll teach you!”

From somewhere beyond my vision she plucked out a thin book that she set on my desk. A well-worn page held an image of dozens of boxes, some darkened and some left open, others with letters filling them. Underneath were lines of questions in organized columns.

“We’ll take turns,” she said, genuinely invested. “I’ll answer a question and then you’ll do one—and we’ll see if we can finish it! These are fun ways to pass the time, you know.”

“I was doing fine on my own, purple pony,” I tell the remarkably interesting glass door behind her head. I mumble to myself, “I was doing a lot of things fine on my own without you lot of alicorns…”

The purple one scowled at me. “You’ll never make friends that way, Sombra.”

“Then mission accomplished,” I spat back.

She rolled her eyes and viewed her word game. “Down, eight letter word, creator of the wind chime.” She tapped her quill against her chin for a moment before filling in her answer. “Easy, it’s Songbird.” She paused. “All right, now yours. I’ll try and find the easiest one. Okay, this is pretty simple. Across, eleven letters, aerial relay team from Cloudsdale. Sombra?”

“Songbird,” I said.

“That was the answer to the last one.”

“Was it? Let’s try ‘Celestia.’ I know she enjoys it when ponies say her name repeatedly, even when she’s not around.”

“That’s not even eleven letters.” A hint of irritation had finally entered her voice.

“Then let’s try ‘the Celestia.’ Much better.”

The alicorn then slammed her book to the counter. “You know we’re only trying to help you with all this.”

I leaned back in my chair, enjoying the luxurious view of annoyed small alicorn. “You should not help what never asked to be helped in the first place, pony. You can’t change what is in a villain’s true nature.”

“So you’re telling me you started evil the moment you entered Equestria?”

“Yes. And if you were wise you’d either give me back my magic or silence me forever, because nothing you do or say can sway what I plan on doing to you all once given the opportunity. You awoke a sleeping dragon that was meant to slumber forever, and then you decided to try and remove his fire and claws and get him to do some yard work. But I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way.”

She shook her head at me. “Discord would disagree.”

I exhaled loudly. “Oh, yes. The first of the reformations. Since I have yet to see him I can only assume he’s not actually allowed in public—if he even exists at all. I can only wonder about the horrors you’ve all done to him; the years of abuse. How much of a working brain does he even have left?”

“I don’t know how much of a brain Discord ever started with, but I know he’s capable of having a heart. It was Celestia’s idea to have him reformed and it’s hers that brought you back to life—twice. I trust her and to an extent I’ll need to trust you.” She slid her letter game towards me forcefully. “Twenty-six down, six letters. You should know this one.” Then she left without her book.

For awhile I thought of flinging it against the wall like the pink blanket they had tried to dress me in before, but a small thread of curiosity brought me back to that damned fine print. After hurting my eyes searching near the bottom of the page, I eventually found the question she had mentioned.

Six letters: Overthrown ruler of the Crystal Empire. From other answers S _ M B _ _ was already filled in. Using my quill I answered the rest, before hastily adding “KING” right before it, covering close to half the page in splotchy script. Then I flung it to the floor.

I had never felt as hollow as at that moment.

Chapter 3: Regarding Draconequuses, Lists, and Rehabilitation

REGARDING A CERTAIN DRACONEQUUS

Weeks into my abysmal rehabilitation, I heard word that Discord was set to visit the castle and speak with both Princesses. What all about, I honestly couldn’t care—I was only interested in meeting the first specimen that had undergone aversive friendship-therapy. If my own plight underneath the overbearing white alicorn told me a single thing about their process, I expected a creature of scars and sorrow wrapped in chains to silently trudge through my doors, before being led to the upper chambers for continued evaluation. I wanted to see the tears weep from his eyes and his nose to run down his chin. I wanted to see his very essence on display and I wanted it to be shattered beyond repair. More than anything I wanted the tales I had been told by the mouths of treacherous alicorns to prove false and in the most severe of degrees. But perhaps most of all I finally wanted to feel connected to someone again—not only the illusion of it. Dozens of times each day, another pony would approach me in the vane attempt at small talk that more often than not ended in, “You know, if you ever need anyone to talk to…” Oddly enough, I never did. Perhaps what irked me the most about such unnecessary wastes of oxygen was that none of them actually had the slightest interest in myself as a pony. It was evident in the way they looked at me—the way the edges of their smiles dipped when trying to engage me in the delicate art of small talk. While I don’t believe for an instant they were sent directly from Celestia herself, I have no doubt they would like nothing more than to be the one that reformed the great villain known as King Sombra. Oh the parties they would attend… The mares or the stallions that would flaunt to their suddenly famous sides…

Heroes might find solace in spending their days together; villains should remain as distant as they can. We should respect each other and the gifts that make us who we are, but an elegance of villainy would only end when a single one of them thought they were somehow better than the rest.

I know I am better than most. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be merciful when the mood strikes me. And that was exactly why on the morning of Discord’s visit I sat patiently behind my desk, sharpening my latest quill between the corner of my counter and my hardened hoof.

“You need a new quill, Sombra?” my friendly guard had asked as he watched me work.

“No thank you, Bolt,” I said, still focused on the task. “I’ll make good use of this one.”

I didn’t need to look up to see the rush of blood enter the stallion’s face. Whether it was from the fact that I had grown suddenly polite in the last few hours or that I somehow knew his name, I didn’t investigate. What else was there to do behind an immovable desk than eavesdrop on the latest Canterlot gossip?

Nearing the end, when the fine point on my quill became sharp to the touch, I almost whistled in delight. Gifted with having the natural voice of boulders falling over rocks, I can at best hit two low register notes that work well together. Thankfully this was short lived as I looked up to find the oddest of sights pleasantly stroll through my doors.

“Hello all!” it said. “Did you miss me?”

Bearing the various limbs of an array of differing creatures, it didn’t take myself long to know I was staring at the first reformed villain of them all. The only problem was that he wasn’t what I had expected. No entourage of guards followed his every step; no shackles and chains weighed his heavy heart closer to the ground; no scars or burns or lacerations of any sort speckled his body from his constant beatings. Worst of all, his expression was not one of distorted character, but one of simple pleasure. Could this really have been the villain I had been excited to meet? The sole reason I had wasted my good quill and half of my morning? And then another notion took hold.

“He’s acting,” I whispered to myself (a more and more reoccurring phenomenon in the work place).

I watched as he snapped his fingers, instantly changing the colors of every guard outfit in the room. After laughing at the idiotic sight, he unhooked his head to spin on one finger.

“Or he’s lost it completely,” I reflected, unsurprised. How many times had a prisoner in my own dungeons lost their mind after hours of ‘persistent’ questioning?

With his other hand, the draconequus stopped his rotating head and a layer of avid interest filled his face. He had noticed me and was coming over, returning his head back to his neck with an audible pop.

The tall creature leaned a little too forward on the counter. “Tall, dark, and mediocre at best. You must be Sombra!”

I spent a long while gazing up at the lithe villain. My original plans with the quill hastily disappearing from mind. While I had little hope of escaping from the friendship loop (considering death wasn’t even an option anymore), I thought there still might be time for the original friendship slave to finally receive his pardon. (I know Celestia would not hesitate to bring myself back, but did the same rules apply to a Spirit of Chaos? I would have tried regardless.) With a lucky strike I would jab my sharpened quill through his jugular, then watch him crash to the floor as his lifeblood stained the entryway carpets. If I could, I would kneel by his side as tears of joy would spill from his eyes. I would take his hand and he would say, “Thank you,” to the one villain that had saved him from his never-ending sorrows. His trip down the horrific road of friendship would come to an end and I would spend the rest of my days feeling better for releasing the poor soul from this world. Or… that was the original plan.

When I didn’t reply, the draconequus huffed and knocked on my desk. “Hello in there? I heard you weren’t much of a talker but you could at least blink once in a while!”

This wasn’t what I had expected at all. If it was an act, it was a good one. His eyes nor his mouth never twitched in hidden anguish; he never silently mouthed out the words, “Help me!” or even bothered to slip me a note detailing his latest scheme to wipe out every alicorn in the land. It was almost as if… as if he was somehow happy to be free of scheming. Free of the burdens of all around nastiness and villainy. But for that to be true, that would mean Celestia had been right by reforming him. If that were the case, then where did that leave me exactly?

While pondering the many questions of the universe, Discord had grown bored of the solemn stallion and instead made his own version of fun—something I didn’t think was all that humorous at all. With his pointy eagle’s claw he snapped off the very tip of my muzzle and hid it in his armpit. As much as I did not wish to inhale such noxious fumes, the urgency for air came quickly and swift.

“Now I’ve got your attention!” he yelled as he tap-danced around the entryway, holding tight to my severed muzzle somewhere close to his ample bosom.

Two minutes following that injustice he returned my snout to my face and informed me that I should ‘lighten up.’ Two minutes following that, I crossed out the first name on my list and added “DISCORD THE DRACONEQUUS”, completely upending any semblance of flow it had going for it.

Have I not mentioned my list?

REGARDING MY LIST

Long before I started this little journal of sorts, I had created a long list of individual parties that were slowly but surely going to find themselves in very painful situations sometime in the future. If it took a year or ten or a thousand and more, I had solemnly made a promise to myself to cross out each and every one of them from it. If I had to do so while standing atop their graves knowing the ravages of age had claimed their lives before I had gotten to them, I would curse the very mound of soil that kept them from me. Then I would do something to their space of earth that I won’t mention here and go drink more liquids before moving on to the next. It’s only too bad that creature of many limbs and colors had to go and mess with my order. For now I’ll merely mention what was originally written.

The rules of the list were simple at first. Spots one and two were always to be filled by Princess Celestia.

Princess Celestia

Princess Celestia

The reasons I had listed her twice were indeed straightforward. I had planned to kill her and then I planned on stuffing her body before killing the stuffed version of Celestia all over again. Depending on time and depending on the state of said stuffed Celestia, this could have been a recurring event. But I digress.

Princess Luna

When I first wrote the list, I had categorized both Celestia and Luna into the same position. They governed this world together, why should they not exit it the same? (I’m very thoughtful sometimes when it comes to things like this.) Yet recent events have pushed her down a ways. Events that will be addressed in due time.

Princess Cadence

I have no overwhelming animosity towards Cadence, because I barely even knew of her before all this began, but there was no way she was not going to make the list and be very near the top. If she hadn’t swept through the air like some aerial sports object thrown by her husband, I might potentially not have been defeated at all. It’s hard to say what could have happened on that day if events had turned out different. I won’t add Gleaming Armor or whatever his name is because I’m sure if I try and take on Cadence, he’ll naturally come with the territory. The only question that will matter is which will watch the other perish first? I think I’ll decide on the day.

Princess Twilight Sparkle

There’s not a lot I can say about her besides she has one too many titles in her name and sometimes uses larger words in conversation than necessary. Plus she’s purple. And somehow since the last time I remember viewing her, she got wings. Is that something Celestia does now? Rewarding ponies with wings? Maybe if I’m good enough I’ll be given a pair and could fly right out of this castle. Sure. Just like maybe I won’t watch a little foal slip on the recently polished floor and laugh off my seat. Anything’s possible.

Something Something Sentry

For reasons.

Pink Pegasus With Orange Mane Bordering On Vermillion And Persimmon Who Asked Where The Stairs Were Three Times And Yet Couldn’t Seem To Find Them

That’s the trouble with working at a counter that aggravatingly sees hundreds of ponies a day. Although they don’t seem to know just how idiotic their questions might seem, they are indeed very. List entry seven through three-hundred and four consists of individuals I’ve encountered while burdened here. Sadly, very few are willing to give me their names once I retrieve my lengthened scroll from underneath my desk and scowl at them with every sharp tooth available. But those that do are positioned lower than the ones I have to later describe in monotonous detail. Thankfully I’ve never been one to forget a face.

REGARDING ALARM CLOCKS

In all my time spent as King of the Crystal Empire I had never experienced such an odd contraption. It was rectangular in shape and on its front it held all the hands and numbers of a standard clock. That is what I thought that first night, when I was led to my small room complete with small bed and small bathroom, now occupied by a small creature that used to resemble a King.

When my head hit the soft pillow that first night, I had blacked out almost instantly. A piece of me thought perchance I was still in some dream within a dream, and that if I slept in that dream, I’d eventually wake up. Or in the very least find a better dream to get lost in. What ended up happening was the horrendous sound of thousands of bees horrifically shocked by electricity, only inches from my ears. Every quarter-second it blared its booming tone, shocking me out of bed and onto the floor, where I then found the source of the noise.

With clumsy hoofs I went to work finding its means of power, but found no cord to hank on. With my weakened limbs I smashed on its top and soon the jarring noise came to a stop. Then I finally noted what time it was.

6:00 A.M.

In my Crystal kingdom I rarely troubled myself with keeping track of time. A King made his own time and when he awoke the day would begin. When he would lay his opulent head back down on his opulent bed, then that would only mean the day had permanently come to a close. It was clock work, really.

The next noise to jostle me came from outside my door.

“One hour, Sombra!”

I didn’t need to ask what he meant by that; one hour until my duty as Canterlot receptionist resumed unabated. In my warm room I shivered and felt naked all over again. No cape. No crown. And finally feeling stripped of a good chunk of dignity.

The next morning I awoke a few minutes before my alarm and set my hoof above its menacing top. An instant after it began to scream its siren song I pounced on it, silencing one in a long line of adversaries. Over the weeks I have tried to uncover just how to undo whatever setting had been placed on it, but my cumbersome hooves have only been able to fumble the odd beast until it falls from my grasp. I don’t dare waste any of the day’s magic trying to break it open.

Bigger things were always in the works.

REGARDING REHABILITATION

If my stoic state behind the desk of incumbency wasn’t enough of an ordeal in itself, my weekends had to be spent in forced “friendship seminars.” It was all as pathetic as you might imagine—that is if you imagine eight or so “villains” circled around in a group, discussing what exactly made them do what they had done before realizing other options had always been available to them. Nearly all came from their own freewill, wanting to unload on some lightweight negativity from their past. I seemed to be the only one required to attend. For the first two weekends I had remained silent and motionless in my thin chair, mentally figuring if any of these so-called baddies could potentially be trusted with a clever ruse or an attempted escape. It took less than a minute before I mentally outclassed every single one of them. I think Celestia had been going overboard.

“My name is Mr. Cake and I—”

“Hi Mr. Cake!”

“And I… and I…” the earth pony stammered out.

Already tears were shimmering in both eyes. My original thought had been murder most foul but it ended up as something else entirely.

“And I… stole a cake recipe!”

I collapsed from non-interest and watched the other members of the group encircle the poor creature and envelope him in a hug. Even though I had been drained of my magic and much of my strength, I still thought I could out maneuver any possible physical affection coming my way.

When the list of names ran down and I became last to “vent” my negativity, I begrudgingly fixed them all a stare and crossed both forelegs over my chest. At the time I wasn’t all that great at caring and sharing.

“I won’t bother with introductions,” I began, “because I think everyone here already knows of what I’ve done—what I’ve accomplished in my time. Before I was forcefully stripped of my title, I was Sombra, King of the—”

“Hi King Sombra!” they unanimously yelled at me.

I choked on pure unfiltered rage while tiny dots danced in my vision. When the lightheadedness went away I continued unperturbed, now crossing one back leg over the other to nullify any possible coming embrace even more.

“While most of you speak of anguished thoughts due to theft or mere troublesome words, or perchance even the lone one of you that has actually brought violence to another, none of you wholly deserve the title of villain. It is something only earned through years of careful craft—only when you can strike fear into the hearts of many from the mere whisper of your name.” I licked my lips, my mind flooded with old memories. “In my grandest of days I used to torture and mutilate any pony I thought had deserved it. Sometimes I wanted a confession and other times I wanted nothing more than to hear them scream. I starved and overworked an entire nation until it nearly collapsed. I am sure some must have hoped for its overwhelming destruction, putting an end to both the Empire and my reign over it, but I always knew just when to pull back… and by how much. I watched the tongues of traitors cut out from their mouths and the mouths of those unwilling to unveil the rats in my midst sown shut forever. I’ve watched more ponies die than you’ve had the pleasure of befriending in your life—and I plan on continuing just the same, once this set back is straightened out. But for now I will do my best to ignore the rest of you for you are close to nothing to me—a mere stepping stone in a long and grand path. Pray, long and with passion that you do not meet me again when I regain what was taken from me. If you do, I will show all you villains what a real one is supposed to look like.”

I glared at every awestruck face before reaching out to the little cookie tray that had been set up in the center of the circle. All that talk (and much of it completely fabricated) had made me famished and in need of sustenance. I chewed loudly, my sharp teeth making quick work of the peanut butter treat. Then I added, “I hear we’re supposed to break off into pairs. Who wishes to join with me?”

It seemed none did.

REGARDING THINGS THAT SHOULDN’T ANNOY ME BUT DO

When the purple alicorn left in a huff she forgot to bring her little book of words and crosses with her. After forcing my full title and name into most of the left side, I was still pressed with a half finished game of wits. As a King for hundreds of years I had always enjoyed outsmarting opponents. Whether it be true adversaries or even saboteurs from inside my own kingdom, to learn of their tactics and then wreak havoc upon them had always been a favorite part of my job. Even as I write in this little journal of sorts does my mind swirl with fresh notions of escape. Many are fanciful and a tad on the dreamy side, but if one cuts away at everything that cannot possibly occur they are only left with what can. Or so that’s the theory I’m going with.

I started with the question nearest the top. Adventurous mare of popular book series—eight letters. I brought my quill to my chin and couldn’t think of a single solitary answer. The last book I had recalled reading had been thousands of years ago—more than likely some war text filled with sweet blood and guts that could lull me to sleep. Since when had mares made the transition to books at all? Since when were they popular? The notion of not knowing still bothered me plenty.

“Hey Bolt!” I said to my guard. “Is there some book series that features a mare?”

My guard came awake from his idle stance. “You mean Daring Do?”

I hastily scanned the line and added the two words. When they fit perfectly into place with the other answers I couldn’t help but smirk at its simplistic design. Now that only left… several more spaces to go.

“I wouldn’t expect a pony like you to know such things, though,” Bolt said, once he trotted to my desk. “The series is only a decade or so old. You haven’t been around in… what? A thousand years?”

“Give or take a few decades,” I mumbled, while I scanned the next question.

“Then you might need to do some research to answer those,” he continued. “I can’t imagine more than one in a hundred that would involve your old Empire or something related to you. If you want, I could probably talk Celestia into letting you borrow some texts from the archives. I can’t see how it would hurt.”

I had finished reading the latest question and hadn’t the faintest idea of the answer.

Bolt added, “It might help pass the time.”

And just like that I had found something to occupy the mindless hours on the job. Just like that I had subdued the monster lurking inside myself that wanted to pounce on every living soul that passed through the castle doors. Sure, it was still there and it would always be hungry and plotting its escape, yet perhaps now it could wait until the day was through and my meaningless job came to an end.

And just like that Twilight Sparkle fell from number five on my list to number thirty-seven.

Chapter 4: Regarding Sparkly Ponies and Luna

REGARDING SPARKLY PONIES

It’s been truly amazing how many times I can regain my composure and sense of self-worth in my new world, only to have it come toppling back on me. My run in with the “friendly” draconequus should have informed me well enough, but I had always been the headstrong type—more willing to try and try again instead of merely waiting to see what might unfold. Honestly, I should have seen it coming.

Several weeks into my seven A.M. to three P.M. grind, I steadily got accustomed to the monotony of the job. The crowds that came by my desk lessened every day and now the only types that visited me were the ones actually in need of assistance. I gave them directions (sometimes helpful ones, otherwise they’d only come back) and then sent them on their way. I kept it minimal and I dealt with it so I could get back to my latest word puzzle. After Twilight had left that first half-finished one, I visited Canterlot’s massive library in search of answers to more than a dozen unanswered questions. Onto a trolley I loaded each text, then made my guard drag them back to my desk. (It wasn’t me who took away my powers along with most of my strength.) It took two full work days to uncover the correct answers to the game, and when it was finished I left it facing outward on my counter, to let anyone who might be passing by how much intricate knowledge I still held within. The only one who made comment on it was Twilight, as she visited the castle to speak with her mentor. At first she ignored my station completely, but then she caught sight of my finished page.

She lowered her brows. “You… actually finished that?”

I leaned back in my chair and slid the small tower of texts out from view. “Of course I did.”

She held the page closer to her face, searching for something to critique. When she couldn’t, she set it back down. She appeared to be contemplating. “Do you want another one?”

I was nearly salivating from the notion. I said indifferently, “If you happen to have more, I’d take a look at them.”

From her bag she pulled out another book that she set on my desk. It read “1000 Crosswords for the Quizzical”. I couldn’t help but stare at what might lay underneath its thin cover.

Twilight caught me glaring. “You had fun with that last one, didn’t you?” She smiled. She honestly thought she could read me.

I pursed my lips. “It did away with a few dusty minutes, yes.” (Actually, hours and hours.) “But an intellect such as mine has always made short work of such rudimentary, knowledge-based games.”

“See, Sombra?” she said, her face brightening. “Doesn’t it feel good when someone does something nice for another?”

“I…” I chewed on my tongue. I had nearly forgotten the deplorable state I was in.

“I’m sure you’ll be a friend to Equestria in no time,” she told me, before trotting away.

I could only watch and then greedily grab the book that was hoofed to me, flipping to its first page loaded with oodles and oodles of unanswered questions. As I got my patient quill poised to strike, the voice that would take whatever wind remained in my sails made itself known.

“So you really are here?”

I lifted my head, ready to bluntly point the latest simpleton in the direction of the library or the restroom, but came to an abrupt halt by the familiar sight. Staring at me was a Crystal pegasus—light blue with a dark blue mane. Specks of silver dotted his entire body, while his eyes went from my unknowing expression to the nametag and shirt I wore.

“Sombra,” he said, neither a question nor a statement. “King Sombra.”

The sudden appearance of one of my subjects from years passed had always been a notion I had been waiting for. I always thought it would be good to gauge how my Empire was faring under new management. Whatever Crystal pony would visit my little desk, I had expected one of two possible reactions: for them either to flinch at my very gaze and wallow in fear as their thought-dead ruler had somehow been brought back to life, or the exact opposite of that. For heavy reasons I wanted them to curse my very soul and spit in my face. I wanted them to call me every name in the book and—if things really went well—I wanted them to leap over the counter and try and destroy the King that had been meant to die and never return. At least in those regards I would have been reminded of my past life—when I was a villain of worth and the very earth shook when I decided it should. I had wanted to be reminded that what I had done in the past could never be washed away or hidden from sight, and that the only thing Celestia was doing to me was trudging up old horrors that should have been left untouched.

All in all I wanted to feel whole again. King Sombra. Tyrant of the Crystal Empire.

Not K. Sombra the Trainee.

By all accounts I should have known I had only been sent here to fail.

When the Crystal pegasus finished staring me down he took a step back. The sight was welcome, but not his choice of words. “What happened to you?” he asked plainly.

My carefully created hard expression softened at the edges. A deep emptiness entered my gut as the pegasus regarded me with pity… and so much more.

“I was told by my parents what you did to the Empire but could hardly believe it to be true. I had to see you with my own eyes now that you’ve returned, but I can’t believe this is it. Some dark stallion with some extra big horn? My parents must have embellished quite a bit because I can’t imagine you ruling or destroying the lives of anyone, let alone an entire Empire.”

“No,” I said hastily. “I… I did. I was terrible and I was mean and—”

“Maybe the old you,” he cut in. “Because I don’t know what I see now. Not a King or a ruler or a villain or anything. I don’t think you could even pass for a regular pony, either.”

I leaned towards him, nearly pleading. “No. No! This is only a setback. I will return and you will remember what I used to be! I was great and I’m still great!” I don’t know exactly why I said these words to a stranger that didn’t know me at all. Somehow I still felt like I had something to prove.

He shook his head. “No you’re not. You’re nothing now. Actually, you’re less than that. No one fears you and no one would ever respect you enough to call you their friend. I don’t know what else to call you but a disappointment.”

I watched him leave and then dart into the sky once outside. For the longest time I did nothing at all, before I glanced at the new book Twilight had given me. As excited as I had been to uncover the latest bits of scholarly knowledge to fill up its empty pages, a hole had miraculously been punched in my chest.

I didn’t cry then but I did a few days later. And in plain view of one of my greatest adversaries.

REGARDING LUNA

Every few weeks I’m asked to stay at my counter during the overnight shift. Considering the castle is closed to the public during these midnight hours, it is a completely pointless exercise. What I quickly surmised was that it must have been another attempt by Celestia to help bridge the gap between nasty, old villains and everyday worker drones. The guards that stood atop the walls of Canterlot castle during the night seemed near the same as the day time crew (if I forgot to mention the darkened color scheme and bat-like wings). The appearance of Luna during these shifts was another noticeable difference.

“Hey, Bolt!” I half-whispered, half-yelled to my guard. He was slouched over in his chair, snoozing and nearly drooling around the edges of his hoof. If I was tasked with nightshift duties, that meant he needed to come along regardless. Since I didn’t sleep all that much anyways, I could handle the change in routine better than most. It was also welcoming not to be monitored as much as usual. Although there never really was a lot of trouble I could get into, surrounded by locked doors and hundreds of other guards, any one of which could overpower me with a single leg tied behind their backs.

Luna strolled across my counter, a cup of coffee and scroll raring to go. “Good evening, Sombra,” she said, unknowing just how much she could resemble her sister every once in a while. “I can only surmise you are staying away from trouble.”

I ignored her uninteresting query and went ahead with my own. Something I had been ruminating on for awhile. “What is it you do around here, Luna? Honestly?”

She lowered her scroll, already on the defensive. “I raise the moon and tend to the dreams of every creature in Equestria. I also share leadership duties with my sister and other alicorns. I also assist when trouble arises and deal with the affairs of nearby lands.”

I waited a moment, blew a piece of dirt from my hoof. “What else do you do around here?”

“I…” She huffed. “I already told you, Sombra. And if you’re trying to get a rise out of me, you’re wasting your time. I won’t set you free merely from your lame attempts at goading.”

“No, no, no,” I said, uninterested. “I don’t mean to pry; I’m only trying to pass the time is all. I have a lot of that these days, if you hadn’t noticed. I only ask because you mention the words ‘trouble’ and ‘arises’ and that you help when those two words occur.”

“Of course I do,” she blurted. “I’ve been the protector of this realm for thousands of years, dealing with the likes of you and Discord and hundreds more. My actions have saved the lives of millions throughout the ages.”

“Your actions?” I questioned, noticing her expression harden. “Or the actions of Celestia and Cadence and Twilight and those five other multicolored friends of hers?”

“Well, yes,” she stammered out. “For the past few years there have been more of us to protect the land, but I’d hardly consider that a bad thing.”

“Who said anything about it being a ‘bad thing,’ Luna? I didn’t. But you just did.”

She shut her eyes in annoyance. “I haven’t had enough midnight coffee for this conversation, Sombra. Help me a bit and get to the point.”

I leaned forward, propping my head on a hoof. “Don’t you miss the old days, Luna? Not a few weeks ago, but a thousand years ago? Remember when it was just you and your sister versus the adversaries of the world—how the pair of you would vanquish whatever nastiness entered the land? What happened, Luna? You used to be a warrior. Now what are you? A pusher of papers? Some simple diplomat? When was the last time you got your hoofs dirty from the heated encounter of some major villain? Isn’t there just a tiny piece of you that wants it all again? Or are you happy Twilight and her friends are around to save the day countless times over? Have you gotten lazy in the past few hundred years, Princess? It would hurt my soul to hear that my greatest nemesis wasn’t playing the game anymore.”

The coffee cup that had been hovering in the air smashed to the ground. She crossed the distance between us in one great flap of her wings until she was only inches from me. “How dare you insult me in such a way! I have remained the same as I have always been and have aided Twilight and her friends towards victory all for the greater good. I take solace in the fact that good will always triumph over evil, not by who gets to claim they did what and to whom. If I can go to bed knowing that the world is a better place because of my actions—regardless of how large a part I played—I will always sleep soundly and without worry.”

Even in the close proximity of the angry blue alicorn, I couldn’t help but smile. It was so easy getting under her skin, I had nearly forgotten. “But now Celestia is trying to take away whatever villains you have left. Discord’s gone, I’m gone, even recently I read about someone named Tirek that was crushed before he ever got going. If you change every one of your foes into friends, Luna, who will be left to save the world against?”

She said bluntly, “If there were not a single adversary in all of Equestria, I would welcome it openly.”

“Would you now?” I asked slowly. “Would you really?”

She hesitated before answering. “Of course.”

I placed my hoof overtop her own. She could have easily pulled away but didn’t. I said, “What if I could give you one last fight for the ages, Luna? Between you and I or with your sister, too. Remember our great battle together, a thousand years ago? Was that not a tale worth remembering for all times? What is exactly saving Equestria these days, hmm? Rainbows? Friendship? I thought you were above such theatrics.” I pulled her hoof closer to my chest, my eyes unblinking. “Give me back my powers, Luna, and I will give you the greatest villain you could ever want. Give me time to get things in place and you could show the world again just why you sit atop the highest throne of them all. I don’t even need to win, Luna. I can accept defeat as long as it’s worthy of me. All that I ask is once I die is that you leave me dead—stop all this friendship nonsense once and for all. Can you not see how this would only benefit us both? You get to show everyone that Twilight isn’t the only savior they have left while I get to reclaim what was taken from me—become a King again and die with dignity like I had before you took it away from me. That’s all I want, Luna. While I would love to see you and your sister burn in a hundred pieces in a hundred different fires, I can settle with the blankness of a final rest, as long as I can be the King I’ve always known I’ve been.”

Luna listened to every word I said and I could barely tell what—if anything—took hold. Finally her expression softened and she averted her eyes.

“Celestia would never go for such a thing.”

“Then you do it on your own! You blame someone else for my escape!”

She shook her head. “She would never believe such a thing. Only one of the four alicorns can grant you back your powers, and each of us only holds a quarter of that. If you thought I would be the one to set you free, Sombra, you were wrong. I cherish the memories of days past, but I cherish the wonderful world my sister and I have created more. You will not get your final fight from me.”

As the thoughts of what that Crystal pegasus had told me days prior rolled around in my head, I heard the oddest of sounds patter to my desk. Drips of water were rolling down from my cheeks and gathering in a small circle close to my leg. I couldn’t stop them if I tried.

Luna hastily scooped up her hoof and took a step back. “What are you doing?” she asked awkwardly.

“What do you think I’m doing!” I yelled at her. “I’m crying, you selfish alicorn! You’ve taken everything from me and all I want is for it to stop and none of you will let that happen! I didn’t ask for this and I don’t think that it’s right of you to force it on me!”

“How do you think your thousands of Crystal slaves felt?”

“Oh spare me the irony, Luna!” I spat. “I deserve better! I deserve validation for my years of hard villainous work! And now all you’re doing is ruining whatever small thread of credibility I once held to. I ask you, Luna: what am I anymore? I’m not a villain. I’m damn sure not anyone’s friend, even though you’ve all tried. So what does that leave me as? It leaves me as some failed experiment that won’t work right and for some reason won’t die! You alicorns are the real monsters here and you’re all too full of yourselves to understand when one of your plans doesn’t work. You think Discord’s truly reformed? Bah! You’re all fooling yourselves!”

I crumpled to my desk and covered my leaking face with both legs. I shuddered from the outpouring—hours and days and weeks of pent up anguish unloading all at once. Was that what rock bottom felt like? Or do I still have a ways to go?

“Sombra.”

I ignored the alicorn.

“Sombra, look at me.”

“No. Go away. You’ve done enough.” I had regressed to a foal and hadn’t even realized it yet.

“Look at me, please.”

Through blurry eyes I eventually peered up and already something thin and blue was coming towards me. A hard object hit the side of my head and nearly toppled me from my chair. I grabbed at my pained face and viewed the alicorn in shock. “That hurt!”

“Good,” she said. “I don’t ever want to see you crying again. It is perhaps the scariest sight I’ve ever seen—villains aren’t supposed to cry.”

I hurriedly wiped at my messy muzzle. “So you still consider me a villain?”

“I…” she began. “I’m not sure what you are anymore, honestly. But that’s not up for me to decide. Only you can figure out what you want to be, Sombra. You want to continue being some nasty enemy of Equestria forever, then go right ahead. Celestia will more than likely not sway from her original plan and only come down on you harder. I think she sees you as the biggest target of all and believes if you can be swayed, then anyone can. Tough love, I would call it. Or in this case, tough friendship. You may not be a King any more, but you still might find you can be something else in this world. That’s up to you.”

With her horn she gathered the remains of her coffee cup to dump in the trash, then she turned back to me. “If I catch you crying anymore, I’m going to hit you so hard we’ll need to resurrect you again. A King is supposed to be above such things.”

Then she was out the door and up in the air, more than likely already fixing the lazy moon in the sky. I had wanted to come back as a villain and exit this life the way I had lived. I could tell Luna wouldn’t have minded such an adventure yet too many strings came attached with it.

Despite my best efforts the friendship machine would grind on.

Chapter 5: Regarding Pranks and Unsuccessful Pranks

REGARDING CONTINUED REHABILITATION

“You know, I could eat you,” was the first thing I said to the blue magician that had been paired with me. After I had said such a blunt introduction, she had lowered herself into her little cape until I could barely see her eyes. I had heard she was one of the first villains to be brought back to the world glimpsing rainbows and sunshine. I had also heard something else.

“Others call you great and powerful,” I said. “Is this true?” When she did not budge from her thin fortress of blue cloth and stars, I rolled my eyes and added, “I’m not really going to eat you. I’d imagine ponies to be tough and stringy. Plus, they move around too much.”

Eventually I coaxed her out of her shell and she told me about her stage act. It sounded like a bore—an hour and a bit of tricks that would barely entertain a newborn. Yet, I listened to it all with rapt attention. It had been months since I had been cruelly stripped of my powers, and even the mere mention of magic nibbled at my damaged psyche. When she believed to have won me over as I asked varying questions about her show, she unveiled a deck of cards that she effortlessly levitated from hoof to hoof and around her head. I followed each card not from interest but from longing. This reformed villain right before me could spin cards with the aid of her gifts and I’d been reduced to barely moving a quill with my horn. It was times like these that I wondered what would happen should I eventually cave and cross over to the other side. Would it honestly be as horrible as I’d imagined? Were these individuals that I spent every weekend with not making the best of their situation? Granted the luxuries of every request they could want, all because they finally succumbed to the deathly poison of friendship?

“Why did you change?” I asked her as she spun her cards around. “You weren’t bad. You took pride in yourself and let others know it. You were fooled by a device that you thought could only help you in your quest—validate your position as a worthy pony of tricks and illusions. It was not your fault things didn’t work out as they should.”

“Well, it kind of just happened to Trixie,” she said, before she organized her deck and then glanced around hastily. Obviously I’d stepped into a topic she hadn’t been prepared to speak about. “When Trixie wore that amulet, she thought that what she was doing was right. And then when it was taken from Trixie, and when she was forgiven by everyone, it just felt right, she guesses.”

“That’s not a good enough answer,” I told her. “You had not been yourself and before you even knew what was happening to you, everyone around you decided to be your friend without even asking if you wanted them to. Something made you accept. Something made you stay the way you are. Something made you enjoy the company of others, and I want to know what it was.”

Trixie looked downcast, fiddling with her overlarge hat. “It’s hard to put it into words, but when it happens it only feels right. Trixie had been alone for so long and had built up so much anger and resentment for practically everyone around her. When it was lifted and Trixie found that others accepted her for who she was and everything else, Trixie decided to embrace it. There’s warmth to it. Before then, Trixie always felt cold—even when she was in her full costume.”

I sat in silence for a time. While I couldn’t fully understand what she had been trying to get across, the thing that stuck with me most was the mentioning of her “costume.” I wore a cape and crown not because I wished to dress differently from others, only because it was what a King was supposed to do. Those garments had empowered me. Fulfilled me. I had worn them with pride but they were never what made me who I was. Yet neither did the silly dress shirt they made me wear, nor the nametag stuck to my chest.

“Show me another trick,” I asked of her.

REGARDING PRANKS

It was during another one of my endless and listless night shifts that I caught sight of a wayward Twilight Sparkle wondering the Canterlot halls. My guard had been snoozing for some time now and I let him sleep on. Something Sentry hadn’t been around in a while and every second without his bluish mane entering the corner of my vision was enough to dance over. (I don’t dance, though.)

“You know they get harder the further back in the book you go.”

I had my head buried in a new text, viciously searching for the latest answer to a new crossword. By that point I had been almost three-quarters through with her book, and even the very thought of reaching its end tugged at my need to see things through until their conclusion.

I looked up. “I’m noticing. Will you give me a new one once I’m done with this one?”

“If you’ve been good, I might. I hear you’re making headway with the other villains in group.”

I shook my head. “I wouldn’t call them villains. More like one-timers. None of them have led a full life of it.”

Twilight stepped closer to my counter and I finally noticed her tired, red eyes as well as the blush in both cheeks. She must have been rubbing at them recently—although this wasn’t a topic that concerned me.

“Why are you up this late?” I asked.

“I couldn’t sleep,” she said, swaying from hoof to hoof. Clearly she was trying to eat up some time. “I came here to Canterlot to visit someone and now… I don’t know how much I want to see them right this moment.”

I raised a brow. “One of the Princesses?”

She shook her head. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

I let it go and lifted the latest puzzle I was working on. Since I had only started minutes prior, the entire page was nearly empty. “You want to help me with this?”

At that she smiled, and oddly enough it didn’t pain me to see it. “I’ll help you get the books but I won’t give you the answers. If that stack of texts is any indication…”—she eyed my growing pile of tomes sitting at the corner of my desk—“…you’ll need some new ones.”

I returned the smile, making sure not to show a single tooth. (I was told in rehabilitation it looked better that way.)

While my guard counted leaping Lunas in his dreams, Twilight and I went to the archives in search of new books. After making me return each of my old ones (she was still a stickler for organization and all around neatness), she reviewed my latest word game and scribbled down eight new books I needed to take a look at. Since I’d been at the archives almost every day for the past few weeks, I made short work of the list. That was until a book sat far beyond my reach and even that of the slide ladder below.

Without a word Twilight flew up and scooped the dusty text before dropping it down to me. Only problem was she had done so without mentioning what she was planning on doing. If I had looked up, its heavy cover would have smacked me squarely in the face. Since I was glancing at another book, it instead bludgeoned itself onto my elongated horn, the first eighty pages or so now complete with a suspicious hole by its center.

Before she even landed Twilight was already giggling. When I gave up trying to remove it and then left the archives with the damn book still stuck to my head, she was nearly in tears. Since I might burn this journal once I’ve come to some conclusion, it won’t hurt me to write that I didn’t much mind such a sound.

“Do you trust me, Twilight?” I asked her out of the blue, once we’d exhausted another book from all of its finite knowledge. “You said before that you’d need to trust me for things to work, and now I’m curious if you do.”

She hesitated before answering. “I… do. You’ve made progress. Not as fast as Celestia might have hoped, but I would still consider it progress.” She added weakly, “The number of death threats has gone down substantially.”

I mumbled, “That’s only because I’ve run out of good terms… but I digress. If you trust me, would you help me with something?”

Now she more than hesitated. “I won’t help you escape, Sombra. So don’t even ask.”

I sighed. “Is that all anyone thinks I do around here? I’m not that much of a caricature, am I? No. No, that’s not what I want. Since I’ve started these overnight shifts, Luna has been pulling jokes on me. While I don’t consider them funny, for some reason she does.”

Twilight looked a little surprised. “Luna pulling jokes? That doesn’t seem like her.”

“What else is she going to do during the long hours of the night? And I didn’t say they were good jokes—more like attempts. Once she took a page from one of my books and turned it into a paper airplane that she flew around my head before crashing into my mane. Another time she stuck a nail to my seat and I didn’t notice until I sat down.”

“You saw her do the nail one?”

I shrugged. “No. But who else works during the night and has a begrudging disposition of me?”

Twilight looked pained. “Well, actually a lot of—”

I shoved my hoof to her mouth. “Please don’t answer that. Just trust me for once. It will be completely safe and no one will get hurt. And it will only take a moment.”

The change in her expression told me I had finally worn her down.

REGARDING UNSUCCESSFUL PRANKS

Asking was the easy part. Seeing it through was where things got a tad tense.

If what Luna had told me from before held any merit, each of the four alicorns had a nice chunk of my original power somewhere inside them. All I wanted from Twilight that night was a small slice to one-up the blue alicorn that had made me sit on a rubber donut for close to a week. It might surprise you to hear, but this wasn’t actually an attempt at escape at all. The amount of power I would have claimed from Twilight might have been enough to knock over some feeble guards, but I seriously doubt much more than that.

“I’m sorry, Sombra, but I don’t know if I can.”

“Don’t you want to trust me, Twilight?” I tried to summon my “friendship” face. I had been practicing in rehabilitation and in the mirror over the last few days, working on small muscles in my face I never knew existed. “It would be rather… friendly of you.”

Bemused, she tightened her jaw. “I’d only give you a little, Sombra. If you try anything bad, I’d snatch it back up before you even knew what hit you.”

“Now who’s making threats, Princess?”

Twilight scowled at me. “Don’t say that. I hate that title.”

I waited for her to finally lend me some of my magic. Awkwardly—and due to my height on her—she asked me to kneel beside her, where she touched her horn against mine. A second later a rush of dark colors flashed across my vision and each nerve thrummed with the energy that had passed along to me. I had been bordering on tired before that moment, but now I was charged—now I was renewed. My original plans of a harmless prank sank to the floor as I felt that small bit of magic course its way through me. When I looked at Twilight, who was viewing me with growing unease, I was silently reminded that however much magic I had been given would still never be enough.

“Go and call Luna in and then I’ll surprise her,” I said.

“What are you planning on doing?”

“Surprising her.”

“That…” Twilight stopped to rub at her temple. “Don’t make me regret this, Sombra.”

“I think everyone will get a good laugh from it,” was the last thing I said before no one laughed for a while.

Let’s try something different, dear reader. We’ve heard from my point of view now for far too long, so why not try it from someone else’s? I won’t ask anyone to actually write in this thing, because I really don’t expect anyone to ever get hold of it, but let’s see if I can imagine what might have gone on in someone else’s head during my well thought-out practical joke. And remember now: humor is subjective.

I, Princess Luna, glorious ruler of the night and all things blue hear word that Princess Twilight Sparkle wishes to partake in the act of cookies and tea. Since I am stern royalty, I trot from the sky as fast as I can in search of such scrumptious treats. Tea drinking has helped solve most problems in the world, I reflect, because I obviously have nothing better to think about.

After I land and enter the doors to the castle (all the while somehow the moon doesn’t explode or go away or drop… perhaps implicating that my job is meaningless and that I should try something more valuable with my time like woolgathering) I am hit with the most horrible of sights. “No! How? Oh please no!” I scream.

My sister of over a thousand years lies splayed out along the marble floor. Her throat has been ripped open and the blood collects in a thick puddle surrounding her. The cause of such horror merely sits in the congealing crimson pool, bits of my sister still dripping from his muzzle. Sombra, the brash, handsome stallion that I had always thought he was stares back at me, pulling his wet lips into a grin. He says something but I refuse to hear it over my own anguish. I lunge towards him because I’m idiotic like that and still refuse to hear what he says. It sounds a lot like, “Fooled you!” but again… I’m very idiotic sometimes.

Instead of pause and question the suave beast about how and why he did such a thing, I instead ram my long and sharp horn through his eye socket, taking his left eye to the back of his skull and right through to the other side. A torrent of blood flows from the new hole in the back of his head, drenching and tangling Sombra’s immaculate mane that I secretly wish he’d tell me how he kept so velvety. But as I pull myself away from his suddenly limp body, does the vision of my deceased sister snap away, leaving instead a pristine marble floor now littered with the cooling body of King Sombra. Only then does it come to light just how funny his joke was. I do not laugh or ever tell him what I thought of it, but I confess it to be the greatest practical joke of all time. I only regret that I’m sometimes idiotic and react without thinking coherently.

Over a minute later, a wide-eyed Twilight emerges from the reception desk, hoof already covering mouth. Together we carry the stately villain up to my sister’s room, where we resurrect him once again.

It seems none of us alicorns can ever learn our lessons.

REGARDING DETAILS

Upon waking, my first thought is how easy the ritual to reclaim my magic had been. Now I only wondered if it could be taken without their consent.

Chapter 7: Regarding Endings

REGARDING ENDINGS

A week passed by and I uncovered close to nothing new about Twilight’s colt-friend. I rarely saw her during the days so if they were together then I had little knowledge of it. I asked my guard if he knew of him and he only shook his head. He probably did but wasn’t about to spill a word. He was dumb, yes. But not that dumb.

The night of the Gala soon arrived, and with it an influx of guests throughout the castle. Some were of higher importance than others, while some appeared as though their gowns had been rented out from some cheaper-end shop. It didn’t matter to me though. I hated everyone equally.

“That suit looks rather nice on you, Sombra. Who gave you that?”

The white unicorn that was friends with Twilight cornered me in the lavishly decorated ballroom. My original notion was to miss the event entirely, but Celestia had naturally persisted. Regardless, it did get me out of a single nightshift spent occupying the dusty counter.

When Luna had heard that I was going to attend, she fetched someone to lend me a (unsurprisingly) dark blue dress jacket with silver buckles. I might not have hated it as much as my usual white work shirt but that didn’t mean I enjoyed wearing it at all.

“Luna did,” I eventually answered, gingerly spinning the cup of punch I had grabbed hours ago on my hoof. “Against my best wishes.” I finally viewed the immaculate unicorn, her eyes not entirely meeting mine. I could tell she had been sent to converse with me. I guess I still had the power to make some ponies uneasy. I asked her, “Don’t you find it weird that every other day of the year you all run around naked and then decide on this night that not wearing clothes would be impolite?”

Instantly she harrumphed at my silly notion. “I’ll have you know that I wear differing clothes more days than not, Sombra. I can’t be held accountable for being overwhelmingly accessible to beautiful garments.”

I won’t go into much detail describing the multiple layers she had on that night. My vocabulary isn’t big enough and it’s a subject I truly don’t feel like researching. I’ll only say it was oddly bright in that dimly lit room and hurt my eyes when I stared at it for too long. She called it fashion while I would have called it something else entirely.

One by one, each of Twilight’s Ponyville friends sidled up next to me to try and pry loose a few words. I have no doubt a certain purple alicorn had requested such unwanted attention.

A pink earth pony bounced towards me and dropped a small white block into my drink. She only continued to bounce in her spot. “What was that?” I inquired.

“Sugar cube!” she yelled at me, even though the classically trained quartet playing that evening hardly passed above a whisper.

“I think there’s enough sugar in it already.”

When she stopped bouncing I grew worried. When she shoved her elastic face into mine I truly became scared. She whispered angrily, “Then you’d be wrong.”

Not wanting to push the subject further, I quickly drank my extra sweet punch.

The last one to make their introductions was the one I had been dreading most. The pegasus with yellow coat and pink mane sat lackadaisical on a seat a good dozen away from me. Each time I caught her staring, she’d only hide behind her long lock of mane. Every few minutes she’d scoot to the next open seat in my direction. Each time she did, I only retreated down the line. Then I ran out of chairs to move to.

“Pfft!” I inhaled a swift batch of air when I found her forelegs wrapped around me. She had been silent and patient getting to me and I had plainly underestimated her. Now I could only wait until she’d perform the ritual of “friending,” where a piece of my blackened heart would be scooped out by her touch and replaced with a type of ice cream that wouldn’t melt. Or… that was what Discord had told me she did.

“I’m very proud of you, Sombra,” the little hugging thing told me. “I know it must have been tough but you’ve shown everyone that even bad ponies can change. Twilight’s told me of all the progress you’ve made and I hope when the Princesses believe you’re no longer a threat that you’ll come to Ponyville for a visit. I know Angel bunny would enjoy that.”

“Uh…” I could have asked a lot of question to the soft pegasus, but upon reflection that might have only warranted an extended embrace. Instead, I patted her on the head and said, “Thank you. You are clearly not as mean and terrible as the stories have made you out to be.”

She let go of me soon after that.

REGARDING ENDINGS CONT.

The night wore on and the punch was discarded in favor of more spirited libations. Twilight’s apple friend and Twilight’s rainbow friend got to drinking hard cider and soon they were barely sitting straight on their seats. From the safety of my dark corner I watched them laugh and tell stories—even the pink one stole the microphone at some point and tried to direct the attendees to sing a song about grins. (I may have admittedly mouthed a few catchy words near the end.) Although I should have been seething from the very sight of my usurpers living and breathing and being all around merry, I found the sight almost endearing.

Countless times this same band of heroes had saved the day and then returned to their normal lives, as friends and as siblings and as workers. Ponies looked at them from time to time and would recognize the accomplishments they had done, but when the day was over and the battle was done, they could still be normal ponies of the earth. They could attend Galas and get drunk and embrace those around them. They weren’t waiting for the next wave of nastiness to arrive; formulating plans of attack when others were asleep and darkness was scarcely on the horizon.

They had the ability to be many things at any time—they were not controlled by some label that had been placed on them by themselves or others. I had called myself a villain for longer than I could remember and carried that title with pride wherever I ventured. When I spoke, I spoke as a villain. When I went to sleep, I did so as a villain and I awoke each morning the same. For so long I had clung to a single definition of self and overtime it had stained everything outside and within. I had told myself it gave me joy and perhaps it had. But did I not find the same level of solace from spending time with those that wanted to spend time with me? It was unorthodox, of course, but was it wrong to want more? Was it wrong to want more than a single identity? Or even a new one at that?

In my busy musings I hadn’t noticed the one pony I had been waiting for all night.

“I hope you haven’t been sitting here this whole time,” Twilight said with a grin. She wore a light blue dress with tiny stars at its edges. I was about to comment on the redundancy but told myself to shut up instead. Nevertheless, the alicorn looked captivating that night.

I motioned to a row of seats along the wall. “Earlier I was sitting over there. Now I’m over here. I’ve only been in this seat for a couple of hours at most.”

She furrowed her brow. “That sounds terrible.”

“And yet you forget I’m a professional sitter, Twilight.”

She extended a leg to me. “Come on. Get up and stretch your legs. Let’s dance for a bit.”

I regarded the leg gravely. “Shouldn’t you be doing that with your colt-friend?”

A bit of shimmer edged out from her eyes. “He’s working tonight. He works a lot.” She paused. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to dance. Come on now.”

“I don’t dance, Twilight. I’m not sure how ponies are even supposed to dance.”

“Then don’t think about it! I never do. And who’s left to judge anyways?” She pointed at her two drinking buddies, the multicolored one snoozing quietly on her friend’s shoulder. “Plus, you have no choice in the matter. Sorry.”

She turned and headed to the middle of the floor. Unceremoniously, I was levitated from the safety of my seat and dragged along. Once set back down, she grabbed one of my legs and placed it over one of her shoulders. Even though I felt more awkward and exposed than ever before, the sly smirk on her face quelled any such verbal protests. One song. One dance. And then my butt would taste sweet seat once more. I only had to grin and bare it—the same strategy I had been clinging to this entire time.

Soon one song became two. And two became more. And then out of the corner of my eye I saw a flock of ponies watching and whispering. I had thought nothing of the dance but then I understood I’d been wrong. Was it because of Twilight they were gawking? Or because of the dark creature she was with?

“I think I’m done, Twilight,” I told her. “I suddenly don’t enjoy being the center of attention.”

She nodded. “I understand. Even if this was your first time dancing, I still think you’re better than me. I remember—” A pained expression filled her face as she looked over my shoulder. Whatever energy had been vibrant there had been snuffed out by a mere glance. “I should go,” she whispered, before hastily trotting to the back of the room and out the door.

While dancing, she had held onto my leg for so long that it now felt cold without her. I stood in the center for a moment longer while I glared at the throng of ponies still gawking. I could hardly care what they thought of me—most of them I’d never see again after that night.

I only wanted to know where Twilight had gone.

REGARDING ENDINGS CONT.

I described my brief encounter with the Crystal pegasus as one that left a deep, hollow feeling in my chest. What I witnessed in the courtyard of the castle was close to the same, only now that newly created hole was filled with such fury it made me shake where I stood. It was a feeling that reminded me of days past.

Already Twilight was in tears, staring at the ground as she awkwardly kicked at the dirt. Her colt-friend—her horrifically familiar colt-friend—was still occupied with berating her as she said a few words in her defense. I witnessed the end of their heated discussion as the yellow pegasus with blue mane pointed in the direction of the rest of the Gala. Something Sentry shook his head in disgust and then took to the air and out from view.

When I entered the scene, Twilight hitched in a breath and hurriedly wiped at her eyes. I disregarded any such hope for idle chatter.

“Him!” I spat. “Sentry! You let him talk you that way?”

She sighed and sat on the ground. “Please, Sombra. I don’t want to talk about this now. He saw us dancing and took it the wrong way. I tried to explain but he wasn’t listening. He’s only tired and overworked. I’ll have to talk to him tomorrow, that’s all.”

I stepped closer, none of my original rage diminishing by Sentry’s absence. “Why would you ever go back to that pee-brained simpleton? He is a laughing stock of the guard and the fact that you even talk to him—yet alone go back to him—makes me sick!” I blinked rapidly, hooves tapping against the dirt. Already I had made up my mind. “Give me back my powers, Twilight. Give them to me and I will fix all of this.”

She looked up at me, exacerbated. “I told you before, Sombra. This doesn’t concern you. This is my problem and I’ll deal with it once everyone’s calmed down.”

The steady pulse in my ears told me I had already crossed a line. Yet my old habits made me see it through until the end. “Give me back my powers,” I said bluntly.

“No, Sombra. Just go back inside.”

“Give them to me, Twilight,” I demanded. “And I will set this right.”

I crossed the bed of flowers that divided us and with avid hunger glared at her. Somewhere inside that delicate frame she held a small portion of my wrath, and now I wanted it more than ever. Use them more than ever.

Her tears had all but dried. “You’re starting to scare me, Sombra.”

My shadow crossed over her face. I honestly wondered how she could not understand what I needed to do. Afterwards she would thank me, I knew she would. I was doing her a favor. Something friends were supposed to do for one another. How could she not understand that? Yet sometimes actions speak much louder than words.

I told her, “But you’re not the one I want to scare tonight, Twilight.”

Before she had much chance to move away I pinned her down and stuck my long horn against hers. Since that night when she had lent me a portion of my original strength, I had thought long and hard about the ritual and how it felt when that energy crossed over to me. It was that sensation I tried to focus on, as I sat atop the wriggling alicorn. Another second longer and she would have escaped from my feeble attempt with ease. Only she had been caught unaware and emotionally drained.

“Arah!” In a single second I drank my essence from her and grit my teeth from the immense rush. My limbs thrummed from the sudden strength while the fury that had first entered my being only intensified once given the power to do so.

I didn’t have enough strength to take on the world. But I thought I had enough to kill at least a single soul. I hear I used to be pretty good at such tasks.

“No!” is all Twilight got out before I snapped away in a huff of black smoke. If she said more than that I was never aware. I didn’t comprehend a great deal of things following that utterly bleak moment.

REGARDING ENDINGS CONT.

I found Sentry in the first place I thought he might hide. In one of the upstairs bathrooms, well away from the rest of the party, he glimpsed himself in a mirror after he must have splashed water on his face. Before I entered he had been polite enough to remove his helmet.

When I found him I had expected evident fear from him. He surprised me a great deal when he only looked mad. “Sombra, I don’t know why you’re here but we have some things to discuss.”

I smiled at him. It was my friendship smile, too, only this time I don’t think I was doing it right. “I’m sure we do, pegasus. Only there are a few things I need to straighten first.”

“Pegasus? That’s no way to talk to your—”

I flicked my foreleg in the direction of the taps and watched with glee as Sentry’s head came smashing along the edges of the sink, splitting open the skin over his forehead. Clearly dazed, he stumbled back and tried to mumble something. Since I had heard enough from him that evening, I flicked his frail body to the wall behind him, cracking the plaster in a number of different places. Then he came to rest along the cool floor below.

I stepped over him and smelled fresh blood in the air. I closed my eyes and relished its bold flavor. During times like these it was hard to recall just how much I’d changed since entering Canterlot.

The blood from the gapping wound in his head caused him to close his eyes. With feeble strength he tried to push me away from him—truthfully I barely felt it at all. “Please…” he mumbled to me. “Please don’t… please…”

Such sweet sounds to my ears. It had been so long. Yet now we had come too far.

I told him delicately, “I will grant you more mercy than you deserve tonight, Sentry. I promise it will be brief. Ease into death like you would a well-worn suit of armor.”

I disregarded my magic in place of something more personal. With renewed strength I came down on his blood-stained face with my hooves and eventually heard the cracking of small bones. Graciously, Sentry had fallen unconscious some time ago and yet the bloodlust that ran rampant in me continued on without him knowing.

“Stop!” someone shouted behind me, before I was thrown into the wall opposite the door.

I shook my head and prepared myself to welcome the newcomer, only to find Twilight Sparkle already cradling the bloodied remains of Sentry in her legs. The slow rise and fall of his chest told me he was still alive. I had waited too long—enjoyed the task far too much.

“Why would you do this?” she asked me as she held him close, fresh tears already streaking her face. “He did nothing to deserve this.”

I said calmly, “He hurt you, Twilight. I was only doing what I thought friends are supposed to do for their friends. Help one another. In whatever way possible.”

She shook her head, hitching in air. She said softly, “Then you don’t understand friendship at all. And maybe we were wrong by trying to change you. You’re a monster, Sombra. And I know now I must only be stroking your ego to call you such a thing but that’s all I seem to see now. To think you could be anything but a villain had been foolish of us. I don’t know how yet but I’ll convince Celestia to free you from this. At least then, the next time we defeat you will be the last.”

As I watched her cry tears of my own creation, I felt the mild power surge I had stolen from her sputter out and empty. I had tried to do the right thing in the only way I knew how—how I thought friendship was supposed to work. Perhaps the pairing was never meant to be.

REGARDING ACTUAL ENDINGS

This will be my last entry as once I finish writing these words I will go see Celestia along with the other three alicorns. We’re only waiting for Cadence to arrive once she’d been summoned from my old Empire. At the moment I’m back at my desk, while I hear the silent plodding of all the janitors that need to clean up after the Gala… and however many need to clean up all the bits of Sentry I left back in the washroom.

Do I feel bad about the incident? I feel it’s too early to make such calls. I only know what I did hurt Twilight more than I could have imagined and for that I am pained. I was supposed to free her from what made her sad, and instead I only buried her deeper into it. Times like these make me feel as though I’d be more help not helping at all.

Sentry will live but more than likely will be bedridden for more time than I’ve spent hunkered behind this counter. He will require surgery—many surgeries, I’m sure—but I have a feeling his ugliness will remain as constant as ever once he’s brought back to health.

It did not take long before Twilight spoke with Celestia. With more than a dozen new guards I was brought up to her throne room, her once sparkling stare now devoid of much of anything.

“I had thought we were making progress,” she began dourly. “Obviously, I had been wrong. You almost killed one of my guards tonight and attacked an alicorn, all because of a series of words.” She sighed. “I thought if I could help you, Sombra, that you might prove the lynchpin that would attract others to the side of good. You were a long shot that most doubted, and now you’ve only proven them right. It was not fair of us to force something on you I admit, but I do not regret the decision. If we do not try something brash without the knowledge of potential failure, then we shouldn’t try at all. We should have left you dead… and now it is only too late.”

“Then you plan on killing me one final time, Celestia?” I had asked. By this point I almost welcomed such a thing. “Cut down your failed conquest and cleanly dispose of it? Too bad everyone in Equestria already knows what you’ve tried to do.”

“I never said I was a perfect ruler, Sombra. I make mistakes like anyone else. But no, I will not strike you down tonight—not unless you prompt me too. I will only reverse what I have done and leave the final decision up to you.”

I edged closer to her. “What do you mean?”

“I will bestow to you your magic and set you free. I brought you back from the dead and I will suffer the consequences. Foolishly, I also pardoned you for your past crimes, in the vain attempt at speeding your rehabilitation. I have made more mistakes with you than most, Sombra.”

I couldn’t have been hearing this all correctly. “What repercussions do I face once I leave?”

“Only what you create for yourself,” she said. “The moment you leave this castle you will be followed and monitored, so that the single second you attempt your retribution you will be struck down by the powers of every alicorn. And this time you will be left to rest—what you’ve wanted for so long.”

It almost hurt to be thought of as so simplistic in design. “So that’s all you think I’ll do once free?”

“Isn’t it?”

I didn’t respond. I only contemplated all that was happening to me.

Celestia took it as an odd sign before inquiring, “I thought you’d be happy to hear this, Sombra. One final fight. One final death. All up to you. You can be whatever villain you want to be.”

I faintly smiled at her. “And the one that was never supposed to give up on me finally does.”

She shook her head. “You gave up on yourself the moment you attacked Sentry. He might have hurt Princess Twilight with words, but at least she’ll feel better come the morning sun, not breathing through a tube down her throat.”

Such gory details should have delighted me to no end. Now I only wanted the night to be over with.

Any moment now I’ll be summoned upstairs. Any moment now and I’ll be given back what was taken from me. I wonder if they think I’ll attack them the moment I can. Four on one? I might boast but I’m not blind to chance. Now all that remains is what I’ll do once free of everything. Of course there’s a part of me that wants to exit these doors and rain terror on the quiet populace once I’ve rediscovered my bottomless dark gifts. But there’s also another part of me that wants to speak with Twilight again—beg her for her forgiveness. It is more than a long shot and somehow it is still something I want to try. Of course I might not do either of those things. I found the roof easy enough that first time; why not rediscover it and greet death with a smile? Hasn’t that what I’ve been chasing after all this time? To return to that silent sea of liquid black—no cares, no feelings, no conflicting emotions.

I don’t know what I’ll do and I don’t think I’ll know until I’m free of this place.

So now I ask you, dear reader, what has become of your tyrannical King? Am I your villain again? Or have I somehow become a friend to you all? Or am I nothing more now than a bit of dried blood on the pavement outside? I used to think of myself as a villain and nothing more. Now that I can be anything, I’m not so sure what I want to be. Only time will tell, I believe.

Wishing you a swift and painless death,

K. Sombra.

Author's Note

I'll label this as complete for now, although I might revisit it if I think of an interesting second arc (possibly set in Ponyville with Discord playing a large part). Anywho, what an odd story this has been.

This story only exists because of the thumbnail picture, which I had as my desktop wallpaper for a while. I was going to write a short, one-shot involving Sombra working at Canterlot (possibly janitor or something) and then Twilight would come and bug him. Nothing major. Then I got the idea for a journal of sorts and I thought of doing a straight-out comedy (the first three chapters, mainly), but then if I did that, it might just go on forever because finding an ending would be difficult. So that's why you get this story; what I'd consider a mix of comedy and drama. (Perhaps too much drama. If you look at my other stories, you'd see I'm a pretty dark guy.)

I'll shut up now. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 8: Regarding Ears and Armored Alicorns

Author's Note

I had originally wanted to release the second part like the first; one chapter a day. But 18,000 words in, I'm quickly finding this part will be a lot longer than the first, so I'll try and release it as steadily as I can.

Anywho, thanks for coming back. I'm sure everything will work out much better for Sombra this time around. (Says the laughing man behind the keyboard.)

Chapter 8: Regarding Ears and Armored Alicorns

REGARDING THAT PLACE BEHIND THE EARS

I glimpsed the vast reaches of the Canterlot grounds as the glow from the moon cast every tall building in a dull blue shine. The cool night air tugged at my mane, whipping it around my shoulders. I should have felt refreshed and delighted by the sight alone. I should have sucked back the chilly wind into my lungs with renewed vigor and sneered in joy at the unsuspecting populace. An untold amount of wrath was coming their way, didn’t they know? The rightful King of the Crystal Empire had been given his freedom back along with his powers. I wondered how they could they even sleep at a time like this? How they could even—

But I don’t believe I was actually planning on doing that tonight. Prove Celestia and everyone else right by attacking them the second I could? At least the night would be over with. Yet there were always other ways to finish things for good.

I set my bloodstained hooves near the edge of the roof and glanced down. Meters and meters below, guests slowly filed themselves out from the party—some swaying drunkenly in music only they seemed to hear. This time I would not aim for a group of passersby. This time I would wait for a space to clear. That night I did not feel like hurting anyone else.

You could still try and talk with Twilight again, my mind tried to inform me helpfully. My horrendously stupid, stupid mind.

She only might try to kill you, I then reflected.

Hmm. Maybe I wouldn’t press things at the moment.

Although I hadn’t been followed to the roof, I knew no less than two dozen guards and a single alicorn surrounded me from well-hidden spots in the shadows. Many weapons were poised to strike, yet I thought I would sadly disappoint them all.

“At least tonight can’t get any worse,” I said, before it did.

Although I didn’t hear them enter my secluded space, I did in fact feel someone scratching me in that spot behind the ears. Ruffling my mane gently, it didn’t take me long to piece together who it might be—especially considering it was an eagle’s claw doing the delicate act.

“Have a rough night, buddy?” Discord asked solemnly, already a hint of a giggle in his voice. “You really botched things up, didn’t you?”

I wanted to tell him to stop touching me. To take his filthy eagle’s claw and lion’s paw and shove them somewhere I wasn’t even sure existed on the creature. Sadly, since his petting felt oddly good at the time, I didn’t lash out as I should. Rather, I tried my best to stop my leg from thumping against the roof.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” I told him bluntly.

“Then that’s too bad, Sombra. I get that a lot and rarely do I do what ponies tell me to.”

I watched the last few lights along Canterlot wink out. The town of Ponyville appeared close to the same—only a few homes with candles or fires burning through their windows.

I said, “Did you know my powers have been returned to me? If I wanted to, I could blast you to parts unknown and spend the rest of my days looking for all the pieces.”

The draconequus pulled me in closer, wrapping the end of his tail around my shoulder. It was abnormal how caring he was trying to be. I knew an ulterior motive must have been somewhere close by.

“You could try, friend,” he chided. “But I’ve always been the type to come with spare parts. Now before we let this night go on any further, I need to know: are you planning on jumping off this roof again?”

“Yes.”

“No, Sombra! No!” he screamed, distancing himself to stare in my eyes. While he mocked horror, I kept the same stoic expression I’d been holding since I climbed up there. “Think of all the ponies that would miss you!”

A moment passed as he rubbed his chin.

“Okay, don’t think about that. But think about all the fun you’d be missing out on!”

I said thickly, “I don’t do fun.”

“Clearly. But think of all the fun I’d be having if you stuck around!” He stretched his heavily lined face into a grin. “Ponies everywhere would be worried sick to think of your next move! The Princesses would be in an eternal state of turmoil! And best of all, you’d either screw it up, or screw it up royally!”

As he giggled loudly he smashed me into his impossibly thin side, a mixture of body odor and stale candy filling my highly trained snout. Now I thought I knew why he wanted to visit me that night. And just like that I thought I had had enough of him for one life time.

I told him dourly, “As much fun as this has been, I think I see a coin on the pavement down there. Let me go retrieve it and we can continue this conversation right after.”

I fell forward and waited to drop. The ground was directly below me but it seemed as though a thumb and forefinger had suddenly cancelled my actions. Holding me by the scruff of my neck, he spun me back around.

“But Sombra!” he pleaded. “You can’t leave without your goody-bag!”

I charged up my horn; a red and black static pulsating at very edge of my elongated tip. “Which eyeball do you want me to melt first?”

Discord snapped his fingers and I felt something wrap around my forelegs and back. I turned to discover a pair of pink and purple butterfly wings attached to my shoulders. Made of cardboard and painted with complete lack of adherence of staying within the lines, my first thought was that some filly had made them some time ago. Given the scary amount of haphazard gold glitter, I thought I might be correct.

“Happy travels,” he said, as he let me go.

Falling towards the ground, my first thought was of the obituary column that would be printed the next day. No one would be surprised to hear of what happened; I was more than sure. But the cardboard wings? I grimaced at what ponies would undoubtedly say. That was when I tried to get them off.

“Damn you!” I yelled, as my cumbersome hooves just couldn’t get under the thin straps. I was going to be the great villain that jumped off the roof with cardboard wings, hoping he could fly. I was sure Twilight would laugh herself silly when she heard, as much as it hurt to think she might. But wasn’t there something I was forgetting this entire time?

“I should have hit the ground by now,” I muttered, before sighing angrily.

“Isn’t this fun, Sombra?” Discord yelled to my side, arms crossed behind his head.

I finally came to the conclusion that I was stuck in a loop, starting near the lip of the roof and ending a few feet from the ground. I had truly, honestly, fairly, genuinely, justly, sincerely, uprightly never hated anyone as much as I did that creature at that moment. And I’m reminded this was the second time I’d said such things about the draconequus.

I screamed at him, “What in Equestria do you want from me?”

With a stretchable straw, he drank from a falling glass of punch. “I want my good friend to stop moping about. I want him to enjoy life!”

“How many times must a draconequus be reminded the same fact? We… are… not… friends!”

He pursed his lips. “Not with that attitude.”

He snapped his fingers and we both came to a halt three feet from the castle grounds. While he stopped in midair, I continued to the pavement face first. It wasn’t enough to injure me or even hurt me at all, yet I still spent the next twenty seconds of life with my muzzle pressed against the cool cement to tell it just what I thought of “my friend” that for some reason or another wouldn’t go away. If bad words could change the colors of stone, I’m sure I would have left a black circle the size of my mouth on the sidewalk.

Sitting up, I readjusted my snout and propelled a high burst of energy out from my back; incinerating the pair of wings I’d been given. The ashes blew away in the night breeze.

Discord nibbled on a knuckle disparagingly. “Oh, Scootaloo’s going to kill me…”

I shot him a death glare. I had about four such glares in my arsenal to choose from and I gave him the third. If he had been one of my Crystal slaves I would have summoned for a bucket and mop soon after. “Go away, dragon! What I do with my freedom is up to me and if it all ends tonight then that’s just that! You and your Princess’s friendship plan failed and now I am no longer under your control. So leave me be!” The overwhelming emotions of that long night sunk deep into my skin. I hadn’t had much time to digest it all—only act on impulse. It was merely a way of life I’d grown accustom to. Now I felt something stinging at my eyes. “I had… one friend in this entire cesspool of a land and the first thing I did was destroy what we had created together beyond repair! I… thought I was helping her. I thought I was doing what was right. But now the truth is out in the open and left bare…” I hastily wiped at my eyes, uncaring that I was still in plain sight of my most hated enemy. In a few hours, I knew, I’d never need glimpse his deformed face again, and anything he witnessed of me would be mere words in the wind. “And now I don’t know what’s left for me in this life! Do I try and take my old Kingdom back after all this time? Or do I try and create something new for myself? And now it seems like I can’t decide and it’s tearing me apart!”

The draconequus looked pained as he placed both hands over his heart. “Oh. Oh, Sombra. Come here. Come here now. Bring it on in.” He opened his arms for a hug. “Let it all out. Come to poppa.”

I glared at the obvious Venus flytrap he was presenting. I had barely discovered the art of “hugs” a few months ago and they still made my skin crawl. So why was it that I was oddly tempted to go to him?

Then something dawned on me. I asked him introspectively, “Is your need to constantly touch others due to the fact you feel unwanted because of your strange out-worldly appearance and can never adapt to the pony population as a whole, thus rendering—”

Discord’s arms extended eight feet more and I was quickly thrust into his furry chest. I could breathe, only just barely. Tightly embraced and with nowhere else to go—and with all the weight of the last several hours and months and months before that nibbling at my core—I quietly sobbed into the (weirdly) nice jerk made of abstract animal parts. I wish I could have stained him with my tears.

“This isn’t about me, Sombra,” he said from up above. “I’m perfectly sane. Just compare me to any other draconequus around. This is about you and how you’re already giving up on yourself before you even try. You don’t think I’ve stumbled with the Element bearers before? Numerous times! But you know the catch with being all around good and all around nice that those ponies need to be? It’s that they forgive easy! And do you even know what Twilight’s official title is? It’s friendship, Sombra! If she didn’t forgive you, I’d imagine she’d have to forfeit the job! Perhaps, I dunno, to Background Pony Number Twelve!”

I looked up at him. “Who?”

“They’re not important, dear. They’ll never be.” He patted my head again. “What you need is a fresh start. A new place and a new set of ponies that don’t entirely know how much of a homicidal maniac you can become if given time and the right amount of outward pressure. And maybe… given a little space… you might even be able to talk to Twilight again. I’m sure she’ll still… exist in the next few weeks, at least.”

“You think she’d talk to me again?” I asked softly.

“Weirder things have happened. If there’s still a chance Scootaloo might fly, I would say there’s still a chance for you.”

I didn’t know who this Scootaloo was, but being mentioned twice that night I already felt bad for them.

The draconequus pulled away from me, a pair of fingers held aloft near his head. “You ready to start anew, my friend?”

Something in his mismatched yellow and red eyes caused me worry. “Why are you trying to help me so much? What do you get out of all this?”

A sly smirk found his lips. He said slowly, “It is simple, Sombra. You’re my pinball right now. If I’d let you jump off that roof, I’d only have wasted a bit on the game machine. But if I let you loose—if I pull back the spring behind the ball just enough—there’s no telling what kind of… interesting things you’ll bring to the world. And that’s something we draconequuses could never pass up on.” He leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “Potential chaos from a distance, my friend. I haven’t been this excited in a very long time.”

When he started to laugh I realized my list of “actual” friends was still at a very unhealthy and malnourished zero. Before I could interject, he snapped his fingers and I disappeared in a huff.

At least I was out of the gloom of the Canterlot castle.

REGARDING ARMORED ALICORNS

I arrived in the thick of a small town I had glimpsed from a distance but had yet to visit or honestly care to. It only took a short view of the storybook roofs and cozy architecture plans of each building to realize I’d been transported only a marginal distance from the castle. This was Ponyville. I was in Ponyville. And it was still sometime in the middle of the night.

I crept along a shadowy alley loaded with discarded boxes. Hesitantly, I approached the wider street and huffed out a sigh of relief. There wasn’t a pony in sight. There was, however, still an alicorn close by.

I trotted down the main drag and surveyed the helter-skelter homes. Not a single one looked up to code and I thought if I stared too long I might find myself getting disoriented. What did Ponyville have against straight lines? Obviously, I was thinking far too much about it and was trying to distance myself from my plight. And still the night rolled on.

Minutes later when I neared the edge of town and found not a single light on or fresh avenue to travel down I grew restless. A well armored opponent had been following me since I’d been teleported there and every few meters I walked, they noisily dashed from rooftop to rooftop to keep up. It sounded as though they were unaccustomed to armor.

“You can come out now,” I told the empty street. “I know you’re following me.”

I rolled my eyes as the sneaking alicorn said not a word. I could almost imagine them crouching behind a thin chimney on some darkened roof, as if that would somehow minimize their sound. They should have known such tactics to be useless. My returned powers gave me those gifts and many more.

After a minute without a squeak from my opponent, I charged my horn in a multicolored light display that bounced off every house in the vicinity. It was a harmless trick—more akin to flashy fireworks than anything. Yet I thought it might look tempting enough to gravitate towards.

I decided to sweeten the deal. “Take that, Ponyville…” I mumbled uncharismatic. “And some of that. And maybe some of this.”

“Your reign of terror ends NOW, evil doer!” spoke the alicorn in silver and blue metals.

As Luna descended off the building, a strong funnel of swirling gray clouds followed close behind, as well as the occasional blinding bolt of intimidating lightning. I’m sure her entrance was supposed to be frightening to her foe… and not just completely unnecessary.

She landed in a huff and struck a warrior’s pose—sharpened spear pointed in my direction, already coated with a thin aura of protective magic. As if through some speaker system out from view, she said, “You may have been granted back your powers, dark King, but I will vanquish you with little disturbance! Before you are struck down, say what you wish and I will make sure that your message is heard! If you wish to perish in silence then all the better! Your time ends now!”

She lunged forward, wings propelling her at a hurried clip. I’d already halted the spell from my horn, nearly awestruck from the sight. I hadn’t seen the lithe alicorn move with such grace or precision in all my days in Canterlot. She must have been looking forward to this moment since the second I’d left.

Then something far more asinine came to mind as she closed the distance between us.

Is she smiling? Is she actually smiling right now? And why does her armor nearly gleam in the light of the moon?

Oh well. These were to be questions for another life. Any moment now and my head would be sliced from my neck—either that or I’d be impaled by her blade. That would only make it the second time she’d stuck something sharp in me.

While in mid-flight Luna screamed a harrowing shout—I’m sure to scare me something fierce. When she finally noted my complete lack of movement or defense, I saw her expression change to one of almost pained disappointment. Slowing the flaps of her wings considerably, she came to a trot a single meter away—her spear the only thing dividing us.

Her eyes went wide. “What are you doing? We’re supposed to fight! Why aren’t we fighting?”

I told her, “Because I don’t feel like it right this moment.”

My answer did little to stifle her. “But before…” she said breathlessly (and was that a trace of bitterness in her voice?). “Before you said you wanted a fight! One last one to settle everything. I thought that’s the first thing you’d be longing for.”

I sighed. “Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t feel much like doing anything tonight. I’m tired. I’m confused. And I’ve made a mess of things with more than a few ponies around here. So if you’ll excuse me, maybe I’ll go sleep in that alley there and think about what exactly I’ll do next.”

Hesitantly, Luna lowered her spear. Then she quickly glanced at her immaculate armor. “I dug this out of storage and everything! I even polished it! I was… kind of looking forward to this encounter.”

Now I was annoyed. “So you were looking forward to killing me? I thought the populace was supposed to fear the likes of me, not bored alicorns.”

She took a step back. “Only if you made me, Sombra. All that before… when I was charging here… that was talk. You know how our fights used to go. It was all official and everything. Big speeches and climatic clashes. I was hoping to have another one of those tonight. After the way you tried to convince me before…”

Now I was tired and annoyed. “Well it isn’t happening, Princess! Sorry to disappoint you by not being the simpleminded and one-note fool as you’d like me to be, but I’m not all that sure what I want to do with my life right now. So if I decide to blow something up because I stub my hoof, then I’ll let you know. But if you’ve come here with the sole purpose of sparring with me, then you’re regretfully out of luck. You had your chance before, Luna. You should have taken it when it was so graciously offered.”

The blue alicorn lowered her head to the ground, her cumbersome helmet wobbling around her horn. Eventually she peered up with a faint smile. “At least my armor still fits.”

I was never an expert on emotions, but I knew I’d more than disconcerted the alicorn. Considering she’d wanted to fight until one of our defeats, I shouldn’t have felt as awkward as I was. I tried to soften the blow.

I said casually, “I think you look the same as you had a thousand years ago.”

She perked up at that. “Really? You mean that?”

At the time I didn’t understand why she took my generic remark so warmly. It was basic knowledge that alicorns never aged nor advanced past adulthood. It would be several days until I learned how mares could take a single comment on their appearance and spin it into infinity.

“Yes,” I said flatly. “Why would I not?”

Her cheeks blushed behind the confines of her helmet as she dug a single hoof into the dirt. I was minutely glad I hadn’t ruined everyone’s night. She shrugged in her armor, most likely finding the outfit a tad out of place given the circumstances. “Are you serious, though? This isn’t all some ruse?”

“No. I need time to think things over.”

“So…” Luna grimaced for a moment. “What you’re saying is that Celestia’s whole villain reformation act… sort of worked?”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” I answered sharply. “Only that for the first time in a long, long while, I’m free to do as I please. I have nothing to govern and am no longer stuck behind that monotonous desk in Canterlot. Maybe a vacation is in order?”

Luna didn’t know how to process that. “Was that an attempt at comedy?”

“Perhaps.”

She shook her head. “What has Celestia done to—”

Exhausted beyond belief that evening, I menacingly roared and slashed over her head downwards with a red and black bolt of solid flames. I did so slowly and with great warning, to give ample time for Luna to raise her spear and block. When the two pieces of magical energy clashed together, the noise nearly reverberated clear across town.

Luna stared at her vibrating weapon with plain stars in her eyes. “Huzzah! I like it! Again!”

Sighing bitterly, I left the alicorn alone.

Chapter 9: Regarding Not Friends, Waffles, and Pests

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Chapter 10: Regarding Courage, Reintroductions, and Business Practices

REGARDING COURAGE

Although Fluttershy did not yell my ears off as I was prepared to endure (it would be a few more days until I knew full well the extent of her shyness), she did suggest a walk somewhere outside and far away from her home. After informing her I still didn’t think showing my noticeable mug outside was the greatest of notions, she made herself abundantly clear by physically pushing me out the door.

Actions always speak louder than words.

As the door closed, I could already hear her consoling each animal I had trapped and was preparing to eat. She had taken my apology as well as could be expected; I only hope she understood that I’m not simply some carnivorous monster that would rip the head off some animal only to bask in its blood. Yes, I was planning on (humanely) killing them and serving them warm. But I also had a tasty side dish to compliment each one.

I was learning a lot in my short time in Ponyville:

Meat = bad.

Random animals = good. (Even if the amount of feces littering the carpets begged to differ.)

Sombra = out of touch with today’s mares and their cumbersome lifestyles.

Wanting to stay away from the hustle and bustle of mid-section Ponyville, I turned the other direction and continued up the road. I didn’t expect to feel so exuberant given the circumstances, but the freedom to walk where I pleased had never felt so nice. (Even if I was surely being monitored in one way or another.)

I heard a voice in the sky and craned my neck.

“That’s great, Rainbow Dash! See if you can catch this one!”

I watched as four pegasi zipped through the cloudless air. One was Twilight’s rainbow friend while the other three I didn’t recognize—one with a white coat and blue mane, another with yellow coat and orange hair, and another with a dark grey appearance. Between the four of them they were tossing around a thin, circular device that sailed through the air with alarming speed. With each pass, they did so in more and more impossible ways. In the dozen or so passes I watched, the white-coated one was the only pegasus to miss.

“Sombra?” Rainbow Dash had just caught the device in a rather impressive dive and hovered a meter above me. She glanced from me to the rest of her colleagues. “I didn’t expect to see you out walking around… by yourself.”

I forwent explaining my transgressions at Fluttershy’s. “I felt like stretching my legs.”

“Who are you talking to, Rainbow?” yelled the white one.

“It’s only Sombra!” she yelled back, tossing the thin disc back up to them.

“Funny stuff, Rainbow!” He dove for the object only to miss again. The yellow mare went behind him and scooped it up without hesitation. He tried to laugh it off. “Rainbow Dash! Put some muscle behind it!”

“I will when you start catching them, Soarin!” she hollered back, returning to me with a hint of red on her cheeks.

I asked plainly, “Is that Soar-thing your colt-friend?”

Her face flushed. “What? No! He’s just a Wonderbolt that I hang around with sometimes!” Her eyes scanned the road and not me. “We’re friends. You know how it is.”

“I don’t, and I also don’t understand your hesitancy if you wish to procure a relationship with him.” In my time spent in Canterlot shackled to a desk, I had seen my share of guards conversing with ponies they were interested in. I grew to know the signals of when things were working and I grew to love the small facial expressions when I knew things were coming to an end. (If you haven’t noticed by now, I’m a very bitter pony sometimes.) Still, I didn’t think rainbow pony was thinking about this clearly. “If you wish to copulate and have desirable offspring, you should instead consider the other stallion you’re fraternizing with.”

In an instant her embarrassment turned to anger. “Thunderlane? Why? He’s not even a Wonderbolt!”

“Because he caught your game device every time while Soar-thing missed twice already. Do you really want small foals flying around that can barely hold a thin piece of plastic in their hooves?”

“Oh, stay out of it, Sombra!” she shot back. “You’re the last pony in Equestria that should be giving relationship advice! So what if Soarin isn’t as great a flyer as the others? I like him better for a thousand other reasons!”

“So you do have a personal attachment to him?” It was easy getting information from this one.

“That’s not…” It looked like she wanted to hit me. “Is that how you’re planning on spending your time here? Poking your nose where it doesn’t belong?”

“Maybe.”

“Are you trying to be funny, Sombra?”

“I don’t want to travel down this road again.” I looked into the sky where the other three where pleasantly chatting. Summoning my best authoritative voice, I shouted, “Hey! Soar-pony! You white one! Come down here!”

Rainbow Dash grabbed at my shoulders painfully. “What are you doing?”

“I will help,” I said, before Soar-stallion landed in the road next to us.

He said casually, “What can I do—” Then he noticed who I was as his tired eyes ate up most of his face. I wish I could have taken a picture. Maybe I could start a collection of them at the back of this book. “You weren’t joking, Rainbow Dash! It’s actually King Sombra! Oh Celestia, you really are out in public now!”

“Please don’t curse in my presence. I don’t want to hear that name again. But there’s something I need you to do for me.”

I could tell Soar-face was contemplating bolting for it. If he did, I’d only hold him in place. “What’s that?” he managed to say.

“I need you to clear your schedule this evening and pick up this angry mare by my side having fully washed and groomed yourself. If you are wise, I’d bring a gift. If you are smart, you will not be late and you will not expect to fornicate on the first date. You will be caring and charismatic and just a little bit humorous during your pair’s listless conversations. You will also procure any monetary expenditure that arises over the evening. Obviously.”

A small smirk pulled at the edge of his mouth. “Rainbow? You really…”

I turned to find the rainbow mare in a position I’d seen dozens of times before, back when I had an Empire to run and hundreds of slaves to torment. It was the same expression when one of my more emaciated workers was contemplating escape or some quick exit from life. Before that day, I truly didn’t know wings could droop like that.

Soar-bones trotted closer to her. “Is seven all right? I can be earlier if you want? Or later? Or whatever?”

A hint of life re-entered the mare. “Seven’s good. I like seven.” She paused, contemplating. “Are you only doing this because Sombra told you to?”

Soar-hoof thought. “In a way, yes. But I’m glad he did! I was almost hoping you would at some point. You’d always seemed to have more guts than most stallions around here. But… I should get ready. I’ll see you tonight!”

With that said, he flew up into the air, hastily sniffing at his side to check if a bath was truthfully in order. It was.

I patted the astonished mare on the back. “You should find more courage in yourself. It might do you some good.”

She turned to me. “Umm… thanks?”

“For what?”

REGARDING REINTRODUCTIONS

A few nights later, after I had formally apologized to each animal living in Fluttershy’s care, I found myself in the oddest of situations. Seated at her large oak table, I was nearly surrounded by the same five that had originally brought about my end some years ago. Weirdest of all, I felt no flickering urge to dismember and mutilate each one. Weirder still, none of them seemed all that concerned of their safety. True, they were still the Elements of Harmony and all, but last time I had been nothing but a puffy mass of blackened cloud. Now I was strong. Now I was in full control of my powers.

And now I wanted another cookie.

“These are good, pink mare,” I told the energetic one. (A lock of her mane was covering the nametag I asked her to don.) “Where do you buy these from?” I asked merely in the vain hope that Twilight might enjoy flavorful cookies as much as the next pony. It was thin, but it was something.

She waved a hoof. “I make them, silly! Didn’t you know I work at Sugarcube Corner? That’s all we do! Make candy and then make more candy! But the best part of the day is when we get to eat the candy! Although, that usually means we have to make the candy all over again the next day…”

“That sounds like bad business practices.”

“You’d be wrong, then! It’s actually delicious!” Her mouth began salivating from the thought. “You should stop by some time.”

I mentally logged the thought away. I had already been invited that night to Applejack’s farm along with the dressmaker’s shop. They both sounded tedious beyond compare, but I’d suck it up if it earned me a few points with the ponies encircling Twilight Sparkle. It appeared as though a strong word from Fluttershy truly was the only saving grace a villain such as myself might need. Or perhaps that only meant not a single pony in Equestria liked Something Sentry besides Twilight Sparkle. Maybe his parents…

“I still don’t know about this,” I told them openly. “She should have been warned that I’d be here. I believe if she sees me, the first thing she’ll do is leave.”

“But if you don’t even try and reintroduce yourself, then what’s the point?” Applejack added helpfully. “I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you think, Sombra. And so what? You had one bad night. One… very bad night. But you two got along for months before then!”

The others nodded. I didn’t know at that moment if I could have considered them friends, but I at least knew they weren’t enemies. Not unless I forced them to be.

“I think I hear her coming!” the dress one exclaimed.

I don’t know why but I almost felt like ducking under the table. I had been preparing for such a reunion for days already and now that it was here I could hardly stand the painful knot in my gut. Then the door opened.

“Sorry I’m late girls. I was talking with Spike when I—”

Her eyes locked on mine and she froze in the doorway. That wasn’t a good sign.

I fought with my face trying to decide on the right expression to present. I didn’t know if I should have been happy to see her or remorseful of the way I’d left things. Instead, I only stared at her blankly… longingly. “Hello, Twilight.”

Ignoring me, she turned to Fluttershy near the head of the table. “You didn’t say he’d be here, Fluttershy. I don’t want to be in the same room as that creature.”

From that term my heart sank somewhere near the floor. I lowered my head to the table and refused to look back up.

Fluttershy started softly, “Well, I never said he wouldn’t be here. And… you never asked.”

Twilight huffed and shook her head, already halfway out the door. Rainbow Dash cut her off as swiftly as a blade. “Don’t go so fast, Twilight! I know how odd it must sound, but he’s changed! Even with all his returned powers and junk—he’s actually trying to be better. And he feels really bad about everything.”

Twilight turned to face the quiet room. I could feel her glare on the top of my head. “That’s what I thought, too. That he had changed for the better and would somehow remain that way. But he’s the type that, if given time, he’ll only explode and hurt everyone around him. If you want proof, just visit Sentry in hospital. You can’t miss him; from what I understand he’ll be there for quite some time. Give Sombra a few more days and I’m sure he’ll scurry off somewhere else—as an immortal King, I can’t imagine he’d want anything more besides another conquest to add to his title. I’m only sorry he’s wasting all of your time with whatever he’s planning.”

When she slammed the door to Fluttershy’s cottage, I took it as a long nail in my coffin, hammering home the knowledge that I might be trudging up some unclimbable slope. Yet, Twilight had been right about something.

Kings needed conquests.

REGARDING SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS PRACTICES

The following day (in what I had assumed was a small effort to heighten my spirits), Pinkie Pie invited me to her place of work to show me around. Standing outside the garish sweetshop, I initially wanted to turn around and leave. A dark stallion like me had no place in such an eyesore. Too bad she already had her legs around me, ripping me off my hooves as she dragged me inside.

“At least the inside is not as horrifying as the outside,” I lied.

In a blur of pink on pink, the earth mare dashed from section to section, quickly explaining each and every type of candy and chocolate they sold. They might have been decorated differently, or colored in some new design, but when I looked at each bright piece I came away with the exact same burning notion: sugar. Hundreds and hundreds of pounds of sugar.

During my time in the Crystal Empire, it had been a rare commodity at best—imported and traded for large sums of bits. That was thousands of years ago. Then again… it was still a lot of candy.

I asked her, “What are your overhead and surplus results?”

She halted in mid-swing. “My what now?”

“Your budgetary and monetary means. I wish to know how well this establishment operates and whether you are making adequate profit given what you export to the populace.”

It seemed I had not clarified enough. “We make candy here, Sombra! Mr. and Mrs. Cake pay me what they can and I sleep upstairs! I’m sure they make enough, though, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to handle those two bundles of joy they have!”

“I have no idea what the going rate of joy-bundles are these days, but I want to look at their books.”

I found the shop’s accounting ledger with a small film of dust in the back. Blowing away the gunk, I scanned its pages and wasn’t especially taken aback by the results. Sugarcube Corner was by no means in the red. But they were scarcely above it—making enough to perhaps afford the building and their lone worker and supplies. Yet, there was so much more they were missing out on.

“Show me how you make your product,” I asked Pinkie, who agreed with a beaming smile.

Twenty minutes following that dumb statement of mine, I regretted the idea entirely. Pinkie was a competent worker, surely. The candy she made exhibited a glow and warmth that couldn’t be matched. The only problem was her speed and lack of work ethic. Every few minutes, I had to stop her from breaking into song… as well as eating most of the gross profits that littered the workbench.

“So what do you think?” She held a finely decorated gingerbread pony for me to judge. It was indeed immaculately decorated (especially considering she had no horn to aid her on her way), but the single creation took minutes and minutes longer than it should have. If I was in charge, that was.

I said, “Where are Mr. and Mrs. Cake now?”

“They’re out with their kids! Today’s my day to run the shop for them.”

I rubbed at my chin. “That’s good. And I may have just the solution to assist your failing shop.”

“Sugarcube Corner isn’t failing!” she trumpeted.

“Did I say ‘failing’? I meant waning.” I wrapped a leg around her and pointed to the rest of the shop with my hoof. “Your business is steady at the moment. But it could always be better. Imagine hundreds of hungry ponies waiting outside your store at all hours of the day, waiting—no, better yet, begging—to clamor inside for a mere taste of your culinary delights! Wouldn’t that be something to wake up to each morning?”

As the mare under my leg began to thrum against the floor I knew I had said the right words. “So what do we do? What do we do?”

“It’s easy, Pinkie. I will help.”

REGARDING SWEATSHOPS

I watched the two dozen foals I had hastily procured busily trotting from the workbench to the odd assortment of candy-creating instruments sitting along the counters. Most faces were already covered in flour and the like and each one looked plainly miserable and tired. It was such a joyous sight to behold as their little hooves kept on creating the candy.

After getting on Pinkie’s good side, I asked her to find me a rare ingredient in the woods—an ingredient that didn’t exist to begin with. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust the mare—in fact, I found her untold energy rather fascinating (what a wonderful slave she would have made!)—it was rather that I had always liked to work alone and in silence.

It was clear as day to tell what the shop had been lacking: workers.

As far as I had been told, Sugarcube Corner ran with two co-owners and a single part-time candy maker. Including the fact that they also distributed sweets to numerous functions around Equestria and even to royalty, it was remarkable they were able to keep up. Maybe that’s why their display seemed as scant as it had been. I’m sure they had thought of procuring more workers some time ago—perhaps it was only money that stayed their hooves.

That was where I came in.

It didn’t take me all that long to find my first little worker, standing outside the shop and lazily playing with a stick. As my shadow crossed over his face, I knew I had already scared him. That was all right. My appearance in that oddly cheerful town made me look much darker than I was. Still, I had a backup plan. “You like candy, right?” I asked pleasantly enough. I held out a few colorful sweets I had nabbed from the shop. “Well, I’ve got a whole store made of it!”

A few cheap pieces of candy later, I escorted him inside. He obviously had a very avid interest in sweets, so why not propel him into a career of it? (Even if it was against his consent.)

What burst my power-hungry bubble was when the owner of the store popped by for an impromptu visit. Somehow, he didn’t seem as thrilled by the results as I.

“Where’s Pinkie Pie?” he asked me, his underbite preparing to drop.

“I sent her on an errand. She may be a while. But you must be Mr. Cake! I remember you from group. We have a lot to discuss, you and I.”

Mr. Cake gulped dryly. “We do?”

“I’m afraid so. Your numbers are terrible. Who does them for you?”

“I do. But I think the more important question is why there are two dozen foals running around in the back of my store!”

I guided him over to the work area, at the time when I was actually pleased with my work. “It was truly remarkable, Mr. Cake. Really! I asked each one of these children on the street if they enjoyed the simplicities of sugar and differing ingredients, and interestingly enough, each one said they did! So I coaxed them to come work for me!”

He already looked on the verge of throwing up. “How long have they been back here?”

“A few hours at most. Their shift’s only just started. During that first hour they kept on looking out the windows, so I boarded them up to stop them from slacking. It’s worked wonders! And before you start riding me for being cruel, I’ll have you know I have break time already planned out. In four hours they will get their first break: forty-five seconds of sitting and their choices of two pieces of candy! Plus, the highest earner will get a single pat on the head from me!”

“You can’t do that! That’s horrible!” he spat.

I didn’t understand. “One piece of candy, then?”

“You need to let them out right now!”

I hastily glanced over my busy workers, their unhappiness oozing from the room. I didn’t understand this hostility. “But they haven’t reached today’s quota!”

Mr. Cake put a hoof to his temple. “How much is today’s quota?”

I leaned in with a grin—one business pony to another. “There isn’t one! They just keep on working!”

He sighed. “Were you even planning on paying them for all this?”

I had trouble locating the term. “Paying?”

“You need to go,” he said. “Right now, Sombra.”

I hesitated. “To find more workers? I don’t think there are any more children out there. I think I’ve caught them all.”

“You’re banned from my store!”

“But productivity is up four-hundred percent!”

“I don’t care! I’m going to be in enough trouble as it is with all these missing foals! Just bring Pinkie back! I’m sure she’ll think of some way to handle this…”

I thought of saying goodbye to my little workers. To tell them I had been replaced with an overseer that lacked vision. Alas, I didn’t have the heart. I’m sure nearly all of them would come to miss the greatest boss they’d ever come to know soon enough.

Chapter 12: Regarding Dungeons, Harsh Words, and Long Titles

REGARDING DUNGEONS

Limbs still sore and taxed from the previous evening’s flurry of blades and taunts, I arduously entered the white unicorn’s shop with the faint hope that I could find some couch to sit on until the ordeal was over with. Pinkie’s candy shop, I could stand visiting. I could sit and stuff my maw with sugary delights all day and not regret a second of it. But a dark King spending his afternoon in some elaborate garment shop in the center of town? I truly did not understand why I needed to enter. Although Rarity was one of the last I felt I should add to my good side.

“Have a look around, Sombra,” she told me upon entering. “I know you have no bits of your own at the moment, but we could reach an understanding about renting something out should something catch your eye.”

Truthfully, something was already catching my sight and refusing to let go. It was the bright interior of the whole place. Every rack burst with dresses and collared suits in a thousand radiant colors and every wall threatened to sear its hideous neon lavender image into my eyes until the day the sun went dark. I almost felt the need to cover both eyes with a leg. What had happened to simple colors in the years I’d been asleep? Had Celestia decreed that modest blacks and reds be stricken from all available color palettes?

I asked her, “Where is your cape and crown section?”

At that, she laughed. It hadn’t been a joke.

“Oh,” she said crestfallen. “You were serious, weren’t you? Sorry, Sombra, but capes and crowns haven’t made much of a fashionable splash since… well, I don’t know if they ever did, actually. Plus…” she paused before adding, “I think you need to be in charge of something to warrant a crown these days. Celestia, Luna, Cadence… you know how it is.”

Internally I said, “No,” while outwardly I agreed. Then I mentally scooted the while mare down the list of favorite Twilight friends to number five. Maybe if I found some other mare in town that didn’t irk me as much, I might try and ostracize her from the group. I heard her Element was Generosity. Now I was curious if she’d be generous enough to leave on her own if we happened to find a dead ringer.

“I’ll… look around,” I said softly.

While spreading apart the racks and racks of different clothing and materials, I tried to cool my heated thoughts. The brief encounter with Discord followed by the more-than-odd rendezvous with Luna had sent my mind into a whirlwind. There was no need to take it out on one of Twilight’s friends; especially one that was currently helping me as best they could. And yet it felt as though I was stuck in place, completely motionless. I had spent days with the very ponies Twilight surrounded herself with, and only a single time had I spoken to her. Maybe I’d grown tired of waiting, I thought.

Rarity sidled up to me. “You looked smashing in that suit coat at the Gala. Did you ever think of wearing something like that again?” Her increased brightness told me she had a few ideas bubbling already.

I bit my tongue. “I could settle for a black variation.”

She grimaced. “Black on black? That doesn’t seem all that… alluring, Sombra.”

When I didn’t budge from the color choice, she slowly swallowed her pride and entered another part of the shop, perchance in the search for that one roll of blackened cloth that had carelessly been gathering dust. In that time, I took to a soft bench seat and grew restless within minutes.

It had been over a week and I had seen Twilight only a single time for barely a moment. She had cursed me out and told her friends that I was a waste of energy and time. It hurt more than Luna’s horn through the eye, but it had only added more fuel to my fire. Like the crosswords that used to occupy the time between us, I’d always enjoyed a challenge. What I didn’t enjoy was a complete lack of results. I will try today, I mused, trotting from one end of the room to the other. I will try today and if that doesn’t work, I will try tomorrow, as well. And if—

Then something in Rarity’s shop caught my attention. Stepping towards the thin opening in the corner of the room, I pushed aside the beaded curtains that tried desperately in vain to block what was inside. Unlike the pinks and blues of the remainder of the shop, this hidden away nook was vibrantly red, almost in alarm.

I had regretfully planned on detaching the white unicorn from her friends due to lack of interest. As it turned out we had a lot in common.

“It’s a dungeon,” I whispered, as I slowly glimpsed the many whips and straps adhered to the walls attached with slips of paper indicating differing amounts of bits. At the very center was a pony manikin clad in small bits of darkened leather (imitation, I was sure), complete with frilly saddle.

I picked up a single barb-covered necklace only to set it down soon after. The dungeons in my homestead were not as extravagant as this, or so oddly cozy and warm. When some poor pony was brought to one of my secluded rooms of horrors, I had wanted information and nothing more. But, of course, that was my old way of thinking. Everything adapts eventually, I was starting to learn. Even torture.

“Sombra?”

Rarity had re-entered the other room.

“I’m in here,” I answered, flicking the material on the saddle in the center.

“You’re in…” her voice paused. “Oh no!”

Rarity stuck her pained face through the beaded curtain, cheeks flushed along with a smile that begged to be taken seriously. “Why don’t you stop being in there and come back out here, Sombra? This is for more… refined tastes and customers.”

“I am a customer.”

“Well, yes, but…”

“I had no idea you had an interest in dungeons, Rarity. You honestly hadn’t seemed like the type.” I glanced around the small room again. “But from one expert to another, your materials are far too soft to elicit much torment. You could hit somepony for hours with some of these instruments and it would hardly leave a bruise. Furthermore, I have never heard of a dungeon not being in a basement. If you wish to get the loudest results from your subjects, I would try for a more enclosed and personal space. Have you heard of hoof-screws before?”

I could tell she had come to the conclusion that I wasn’t to visit again.

She figuratively chewed on something sour. “This isn’t a dungeon, Sombra. This is for pony couples that like to… buy items to help fantasize a bit at home. Roughly.”

My eyes widened. I was truly in an age I could hardly understand. Couples torturing each other for sport? Not for vital, well-hidden tactical information? Well, if that was case.

I pointed at the puffy saddle. “You think Twilight would find use for one of these?”

REGARDING HARSH WORDS

With black suit coat tucked under a single leg, I was forcibly ejected from the unicorn’s shop. Before the door slammed shut behind me, I heard a river of mumbled disdain—mostly how if a single item from that room of debauchery went missing, I’d be the first she’d come see.

Even from my least favorite Twilight-friend, that was cold. Never in my life had I been considered a thief. I would gladly pay for some torture device if need be. How dare she think I was still such a villainous creature.

I dropped the piece of clothing into a travel bag Fluttershy had lent me that morning and then went in the direction of Ponyville’s market square. I had been around long enough (and I think more importantly, continually surrounded by the Elements of Harmony) that my darkened figure was causing less and less of a daily fright. Still, I could feel the looks and hear the snippets of whispered conversations wherever I turned. But that was a price I was willing to pay that day. By this point, I had to try something.

Thirty minutes later, I had procured the few items I had wanted and was patiently waiting outside Twilight’s strangely opulent castle. I had never expected her type to go for such a grand display of importance, but I’m reminded it had been an unforeseen gift and not something of her own want or creation. Still, I was drawn to it. Its size and scale. Its ability to ensnare the eyes and demand to be looked upon. I could almost imagine my dark self standing atop its balcony, staring at the throngs of Ponyville ponies down below; my clearly spoken words ringing out for miles around, each pair of ears straining to hear. Although if that were the case, a certain purple alicorn would need to be standing beside me…

Deep in another daydream, I barely noticed Twilight leaving her castle doors before she hurried in the opposite direction. She hadn’t seen me, yet on that day I wanted her to. I had grown tired of lingering around.

“Twilight! Twilight, please stop for a moment!”

I waited until I was a few single paces behind her before I called out. It was odd to hear that much desperation in my voice.

She lowered her head as she let out a sigh. Then she marched on.

“Twilight?” I called out once more, feeling that sinking sensation all over again.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to end. I had told others before that day to find more courage in themselves, so the very least I could do was find some for myself. Whether she wanted to or not, she was going to hear what I had to say.

Poof!

I disappeared in a puff and teleported a few steps ahead of her. Reflexively, she jumped back, before tightening her jaw and closing her eyes.

“I almost forgot you had your magic back…” she mumbled.

In a heartbeat, I closed the gap between us. For the smallest of instants, I was tempted to clamp down on her shoulders; hold her where she stood. Having talked and thought about her for more hours than I was willing to admit, I had the oddest notion she would somehow slip away from me, like a frail leaf in the wind. I knew if I touched her then, I’d only scare her away… and possibly for good.

“Please, Twilight!” I said with rising urgency. “Please, just listen to what I have to say and then you can go do whatever it is you were going to do! I… I only want to talk to you again.”

Twilight contemplated her options. If she refused to listen to me that day, she’d know I’d only try again some other time. But if she listened to me then—and got it over with, I assumed—that would only mark the end of the pest that had somehow infested the lives of each one of her friends.

She said wearily, “What are you still doing here, Sombra? You’re free to leave anytime you want. You don’t need to spend your time in the closest town available, you know.”

“Because I wanted to talk to you. That’s all I’ve wanted to do since I left Canterlot.”

“Then talk.” She put a hoof to her temple. “Say what you want to say and then get out of my life. Along with those of my friends.”

I felt a great wave of something dry and warm behind my eyes. It nearly caused my jaw to tremble. I tried to add helpfully, “Your friends and I are actually getting along, Twilight. There’s been some ups and downs, but… if you were to come by Fluttershy’s sometime, I’m sure all of us—”

“Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?” she cut in. “An invitation to a get together?”

“No. No, I….” The well rehearsed speech from the safety of Fluttershy’s cottage evaporated from my thoughts like some blown out candle. In my time as King, I had made hundreds of speeches to ponies that hated me far more than Twilight ever could. The only difference was the distance between them and I… and the looming fact that they couldn’t disagree or interject. Face to face with someone I was trying to win back was something I could never have prepared for.

With close to nothing to lose by that point, I said, “I want my friend back, Twilight. You cared about me more than anyone in that castle, and because of you I felt that there was still some glimmer of hope in what was an otherwise dark existence. I… I only want to feel that way again.”

Twilight’s irritation quickly flipped to rage. She took a step towards me. “So now it’s me that needs to do you a favor, Sombra? We should be pals again because it makes you feel good? Does that egotistical brain of yours even understand why I’m not talking to you? Why I’m trying my best to ignore the fact that you’re still hanging around my town?”

Since I knew she had more on her mind, I waited for her to continue.

After a quivering breath, she said, “I gave you my patience and I gave you my trust and just when I was starting to see something underneath all that darkness you’re so prevalent to surround yourself with, you go and break every last molecule of understanding between us.” She turned her head away from me to stare at the dirt. “I tell you my problems with Flash were none of your concern and the first thing you do is make them yours. I deny you your powers back, you take them by force to accomplish what you want to do. Twice you were denied what you wanted and twice you decided that other ponies’ feelings and emotions didn’t matter compared to the likes of yours. The great ‘King’ Sombra wants something, so he gets it. Is that how every equation ends in your mind?”

I shook my head, but she wasn’t looking at me.

“And now that same ‘King’ wants the friendship back that made him feel so good in the first place, but fails to understand why it can’t happen. And it’s only more poignant to note that I’m the one that needs to tell you why!”

Twilight came forward until her muzzle was almost directly under mine. Far taller than her, she craned her head to stare at me coldly.

“Not once since you’ve left Canterlot have you shown the faintest trace of remorse. You haven’t apologized to anyone and I doubt you know or even care if Flash Sentry will ever get out of the state you placed him in.” Her eyes took on a shimmer as she nearly spat her next statement. “You are pained and you are tormented, and I can see that as plain as day, but the reasons for it are hardly justified. You only feel that way because you are denied something that you think should be yours! Friendship was new to you. It must have tasted so sweet after the life you’d led. And now that it’s gone, you want it back. Well, that’s too bad, Sombra! You had your chance. Several, in fact.” A lone tear crept out the edge of one eye. “If you ever truly considered yourself my friend, you will do what‘s right and leave my town. You’re only making things harder for me.”

“No. No!” I pleaded softly. “I am sorry! Sorry about everything! I was wrong! And what I did, I only did because I thought I was helping you! Honestly, Twilight! I…” I grasped for words. “I made a mistake! I know I did! And more than anything, I’m sorry that I hurt you the way I had!”

“You should be feeling worse that you almost murdered Flash!”

Even in the disparaging state I had found myself in on that fateful day, I was not so desperate as to change my mind on the subject.

I told her, “But he hurt you, Twilight. He made you cry, and all I wanted to do was stop that which caused you pain.”

Twilight said, “And did that stop my pain, Sombra? No. All your actions did was add to it. It’s true, Flash hurt me with his words from time to time, but you did so much more on that night. And because of that, that’s all I can see of you now.”

“Wait! Just wait another moment!”

I crumpled to my knees, happy to not be standing above her in the unlikelihood I’d appear less alarming. With frayed nerves, I undid one of the flaps of my travel bag to scoop out the small object I had purchased for her. Then I set it on the ground between us.

“Now what are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m giving you a gift, Twilight. I bought it for you and now I want you to have it.”

“It’s a clay pot,” she remarked, lowering herself to the simple brown item.

I could feel it all slipping away from me, unseen threads ripped out from my control. Again, I was so tempted to pin the mare down—hold her until she understood how I felt and in return was forgiven. Could she not tell how much this all hurt to say? Then I was reminded:

I had done the same to her in the effort of assistance, and had hurt her far worse than this.

I nodded eagerly. “Yes. Fluttershy told me you could place flowers in it and dirt and whatever else you might want. I heard mares enjoyed the simplicities of gardening and—”

Twilight interrupted, “And this is why we can’t be friends, Sombra; because you fail to understand the emotions of those around you and you seem incapable of remorse. As happy as I am that you’ve decided not to retaliate against Equestria, I feel you’re only wasting your time here. The negativity between us… I don’t want to open old wounds—not in vain. I thought you had changed and I was proven wrong. Now I’m told that you have changed, but what difference does that make this time around?”

From the dirt, I grabbed one of her legs and held onto it.

I told her sternly, “Things will be different, Twilight. I promise. I regret hurting you and will spend the rest of my days making it up to you. I only… I only need to feel wanted in this world again.”

She lifted her leg out from reach. “I’m sure my friends will fill that void for as long as you stay here. But, please… if you ever really cared about me, forget about our friendship and move on. Things are too complicated between us.”

Behind my shoulder she trotted out from view, leaving me lying against the ground. I studied the small pot I had gotten for her (with the small allowance Fluttershy had lent me, sadly), before I carefully picked it up and set it on the steps to her home. To that, I added the thin bag of seeds and dirt I had gotten along with it. These were all items I would never have use for.

And so for the first time since entering that picturesque town, the very real pain of defeat weighed against my heart. Yet, I knew this was not to be the end of us.

REGARDING STUPID DARK PONIES THAT DON’T KNOW THEIR PLACE AND FOR SOME REASON WON’T WORK AS THEY SHOULD AND FAIL AT EVERY AVAILABLE OPPORTUNITY POSSIBLE SO FAR BETTER CREATURES SUCH AS DISCORD CAN LAUGH IN BLISSFUL MERRIMENT

I ate a bug today. Not because I took its high nutrient count into consideration, but because I find doing stupid things always congregate at the very top of my day’s to-do list, right behind staring at my overabundance of messy mane for a good forty-five minutes each morning. What’s that, Fluttershy? We ran out of conditioner again? No. No, it wasn’t me! It wasn’t your good ol’ pal Sombra with the friendly smile and all those polite manners! No. No, go rest your soft, innocent head as I rip your much better friend Discord out from your life. You may think you know what’s best for yourself, dear, but that’s just not the case! Not while I’m around. Not while Sombra’s in your home.

I found your journal, Sombra. It didn’t take the Lord of Chaos all that long to locate it, either. Under the couch that you sleep on? Please. Grow an imagination! And what did I find right next to your thin little book? A thesaurus? Don’t you want to seem more learned than you are, you… hold on a second. Okay, here we go. You foolish, moronic, asinine, brainless, cockamamie, daft, dippy, doltish, dotty, feebleminded, half-baked, half-witted, harebrained, imbecilic, imprudent jerky little lunatic! Does that cover you? I think it should. But that’s not what I’m writing to vent about. And, truth be told, I don’t expect you to read this at all. And do you know why that is, Sombra, my good pony?

It’s because YOU don’t EDIT!

Are you that full of yourself? That you don’t even find the need to go back and re-read your work? That you believe each word you strike down to scroll is instantly the best it shall be and all those that say otherwise should go suck a lemon? This draft here—this is my third draft. Yes, I actually summoned up extra paper when I found this! And the oddity of it all is that I don’t expect you to ever read this! So what in Tartarus am I doing, exactly? Amusing myself, apparently. But let’s cut to the chase. Let’s get to the thesis of this little essay—the through-line, if you will.

I saved you from splattering your beastly mug all over the pavement outside because I thought you’d add a tad more joy to my life. Sure, the short stories of you mucking about here and there and showing Ponyville just how much of an out-of-place fossil you truly are were like gumdrops falling from the sky, yet now I believe you’ve more than overstayed your welcome.

You were supposed to go after Twilight Sparkle and be finished with your self-imposed anguished plight. Go right ahead, Sombra. Knock her out and drag her to the top of some building, profess your love to her while shooting down the team of Wonderbolts that have the area surrounded. I wish you would. Really, I do. Only now you seem unsatisfied with a lone friend. Now it seems like you must have them all.

AND I DON’T LIKE THAT!

You can’t just take away my friends! They might not know it at the moment, but all of us are indeed good friends and we will remain that way! We all need each other. I need them just as much ~~as they need me~~… oh, never mind. You’re making me rush this exquisitely written note!

One odd creature out of seven is enough. We don’t need any ol’ rulers from the North. Sorry, friend, but we were never looking! There was never even a spot to fill. Why can’t you take a hint, Sombra? NOBODY LIKES YOU! You smell like worn socks. Which is weird because no one around here wears socks at all, meaning that you go out of your way to smell bad! And don’t get me started on your posture. Okay, you just did. Way too composed. I never stand up straight and I only go to the chiropractor twice a day!

You know what the Elements are doing for you, Sombra? Do you? If you hadn’t figured it out, I’ll fill you in. All they’re doing is putting up with you because they think it’s the right thing to do! Well, you know who was the last pony to think of you in such a way? Oh, yes! Now I remember. It was Twilight Sparkle! The mare with the crushed carcass for a colt-friend! Now, let me see if I can recall exactly how that happened…

Since I am the generous type, I will be giving you one last chance to leave and never return. You may take Twilight, if you wish—five out of six, I think I can survive with. I can only hope you’ll make the right decision. A dark creation such as you would never have the palate for the much refined delicacies of friendship, am I correct?

See you sooner than you might like, friend o’ mine.

Chapter 13: Regarding Wet Dreams and Quiet Places

REGARDING WET DREAMS

The tense conversation between Twilight and I a few mere days ago should have pulled at each one of my thoughts like a hook. It was only when something that couldn’t reasonably be ignored came into view that I finally thought of something else.

I had been soaring in and out of clouds for close to a minute now, and had come to the conclusion that I was dreaming. No blackened wings miraculously flapped at my sides; no object or device allowed me such a sight. I was in the world of dreams and I was certain someone had created this for me. Created all of this for me.

It was nighttime and the moon was bright. A radiant light gave a haunting glow to each steadily drifting mound of cloud. The earth below was too far down to see, or make out a single speck. But that was all right. I knew I would not fall that night.

Someone was passing between the clouds—perhaps between the realms of dreams themselves. Someone I thought must be hiding for the sole purpose of being found. Was that a soft giggle in the breeze?

When I came awake the first thing I felt was something cold and something wet.

“Easy there, Sombra. You might fall in if you’re not careful.”

Spastically, I ripped the foreleg that had fallen in the water back to my chest; my eyes darting around, trying to adjust to where I’d been taken to.

What lay underneath me was not the soft and springy material of Fluttershy’s couch, but the hard wooden planks of some dingy brown rowboat. The only other occupant with me that night was the draconequus I had not glimpsed in several days. His two mismatched arms paddled two thin oars as our little vessel smoothly glided over the darkened waters. I tried to make out the nearest splotch of land or group of trees and came away with what might have been traces of fog. It must have been a very wide lake he had brought me to. Now I was only curious to know how deep its waters were.

“Why did you bring me here?” I asked, the air drawn back into my lungs quickening in the smallest of degrees.

Discord paddled on as if none of this fazed him. “I wanted to talk, Sombra. You and I need to come to an agreement tonight, one way or another.”

“You could have waited until morning. Or, better yet, you could have forgone the kidnapping and instead stopped by for a chat.”

He giggled lightly as something as icy as the water surrounding us filled the bottom of my gut. “Kidnapping, Sombra? Is that what you’d call this? No. I don’t believe so. All I’ve done is taken you without your consent and placed you somewhere where you might… or might not want to be.”

I said thickly, “I believe that’s the definition of kidnapping.”

“Oh, you worry too much, Sombra ol’ chum! What could such a nice and gentle villain such as you possibly fear from the likes of me? Especially now that you’ve surrounded yourself with such good, forgiving friends!”

I was unnerved to watch the draconequus’ bizarre display. Craning his neck around to stare at the fresh waters we passed over, he tried to mask the deep bitterness that was causing his grin to crack around the corners. He was clearly trying his hardest to remain in control, even if every part of him was on the verge of becoming unhinged.

He turned to me abruptly. “Do you swim, perchance?”

I didn’t answer his question.

“That’s okay. We might not need to go down that road.”

A moment later he stopped rowing and let the paddles fall over the edges. I watched one disappear below the murky surface until it sank out from sight. The answer to my original question was deep. Very deep.

The draconequus rested his hands on his lap. “This should do. Right in the middle. A perfectly secluded spot for two friends to talk in peace. No one else need apply.”

I wanted to remind him about our lack of genuine friendship, but I thought it best to choose my words carefully over the next few moments.

I said, “Then say what you want to say and stop with your cryptic speeches. Your tricks never amused me to begin with.”

He smiled faintly. “All right, Sombra. How does this sound? I want you to go away. I want you to go away and never come back. I don’t care where you go and I don’t care how long you stay in that spot, I only want you gone from here.” He gritted his teeth. “You’ve… overstayed your welcome.”

“I thought you wanted me around?” I said. “I thought you saw me as some hard object to propel in the direction of others. ‘Chaos from a distance,’ as I think you called it.”

Discord’s many-lined face flipped into a scowl. His red and yellow eyes burned against the pitch black horizon like burning embers. “I know what I said, and believe you me, do I ever regret uttering each and every one of those words. You were supposed to fail and go away. You were supposed to grow tired of this place and travel somewhere else—some land away from my friends!”

Even in the face of such an unknowing threat, I somehow felt a modicum of pity for the creature. He was scared he would be swept aside when someone new joined his thin circle of friends. He had to know that had never been the idea.

“They are still your friends, Discord,” I told him carefully. “I only happen to be their friend as well. But that doesn’t mean we cannot all co-exist together.”

He stared out along the rippling water. “I would like to believe that. Really, I would. When I was first presented with the delicate art of friendship, I laughed at them. And then I laughed some more. It seemed silly and trivial to me. Useless. Something a creature like myself would never need. But I was wrong. And I’ve enjoyed my many visits with my friends, especially Fluttershy, as I’m sure you could tell.”

I added, “Then there’s no reason for that to end, Discord. I still don’t understand your hostility towards me.”

He continued as though he didn’t hear. “Fluttershy is the only one of them that invites me to spend time with her. The rest… I need to think of reasons for them to be with me.” He turned to me, clearly pained. “You know how much that hurts, Sombra? I say that they are my friends and they claim that they are mine, but do they really feel that way? Do they?”

“That’s because what you consider fun, they consider chaos. You shouldn’t need to trick your friends into being your friends.”

“But I know of no other way, Sombra. For my entire life, that’s all I’ve done. I am chaos, and I will remain as such. I only want my friends to enjoy it with me.”

“Where are we exactly?” I interrupted, in the small chance we were still close to Fluttershy’s.

“A lake,” he said plainly.

“Which lake?”

“The big one. But you’re getting me off track.”

Discord stood and turned his back to me, jostling the small boat until the edges dipped into the water. A few splashes fell inward to soak my resting legs.

“You’ve barely known my friends for over a week and already they consider you a better friend than I. They’ve invited you into their homes and to their places of work and over for dinner. Where was my invitation, Sombra? I was available. Of course I was. All I was doing during that time was study you from a distance. I had plenty of time!” He faced me again, once more rocking the boat. “You know what a crushing feeling that is? To know that your friends would rather spend their time with a dark beast that’s confessed to murder than someone that only wishes for a little chaos from time to time? It kills me.”

Placing a hoof on a seat, he lowered himself towards me. “To think that they consider you a better friend… I cannot allow that. That’s why you need to leave this place. What you’re doing is unfair and I won’t stand for it any longer. If you wish, take Twilight with you and do with her what you will. Here, I’ve already packed your bag for you.”

He snapped a large brown and sticker-covered suitcase to the middle of the boat. I had no idea what lay inside, although it appeared close to bursting.

I told him, “I don’t even wear clothes anymore.”

“That’s fine. This is full of train tickets and every other type of ticket to most destinations in the world. As well as a couple scarves, because you seemed like the type.”

He was right about the scarves, but I wasn’t about to let him know about such a thing.

I told him as delicately as I could, “I will not leave my friends, Discord. Not unless they want me to leave. At first, I considered them my key to Twilight Sparkle, but now that I’ve gotten to know them, I consider them much more than that.” I shook my head. “In no way do they consider me better than you, Discord. That is something that only you believe; an idea that you’ve created for yourself. They are still your friends, as long as you don’t do anything… irrational in the next little while.”

“Irrational?” he giggled out. “You think I plan on hurting you, Sombra? How could I? Now that you’ve got your powers back and all.”

“That’s right. I do, so—”

He was being sarcastic, wasn’t he?

I glared up and found my horn missing from my head. It was clearly something I should have noted earlier, yet that was during the time when the sudden sea of cold water to all sides of me demanded to be observed.

A renewed smile ate up Discord’s face. “How long have we known each other? A week? Two?”

“Close to six months.”

He waved it off. “Time sure does fly. That must make this our anniversary! And look, I brought you something!”

Discord snapped his bony fingers together and I felt something tight and metal roughly snap around my right back leg. I stared at the sudden gift and was not entirely taken aback to find a small anchor and chain attached to me, already digging in sharply.

“Perfect fit!” he trumpeted.

I glared at him with more anger than fear. “You plan on killing me tonight, dragon? Drowning me in this lake? I’ll have you know I am a near immortal!”

His eyes widened. “But there’s a large difference between immortal and near immortal, isn’t there?” He produced a bubbly guffaw. “And despite what others may have said of me, I do not kill, Sombra. I only cause well-orchestrated chaos and nothing more. And sometimes I place certain unnecessary individuals in places that may or may not be hazardous to their overall wellbeing.”

I said thickly, “I don’t want to get back into definitions with you, but that still sounds an awful lot like attempted murder… or something very near to it.”

Discord scrunched his lips into a pout. “And here it is that I got you a gift and all you can do is pooh pooh over everything. Maybe you’ve been right all along. Maybe we weren’t meant to be friends.” He lowered his head before quickly shooting back up, both arms raised over his head. “Oh no, Sombra! It looks like we’ve run out of gas!”

“This is a rowboat.”

He scratched his chin. “Did I say ‘gas’? I meant, we’ve sprung a leak! What a flimsy design this must have been! Every draconequus for themselves!”

Discord levitated into the air while I felt the first few inches of chilly water seep into the boat. I stood up abruptly and paced from side to side, unable to think coherently. As I almost overturned the boat with my hurried moves, I tried to find some bit of land I could potentially get to. Regretfully, I found not a single bit of earth in sight.

As the rising water made its way up my legs, I glared at the floating draconequus. He only appeared curious, given the grim situation he had placed me in.

“You really should have taken my offer,” he said, sounding close to bored.

I tried to stop my jaw from shaking. “You’re insane!”

“Well, duh!”

I peered around hastily one last time for some unseen savior. It was odd for a being such as me to be at the sudden mercy of someone else—to feel so helpless in the face of such vindictive power. That night, for what was the first time, I believe, I truly felt pity for what I had done to Sentry. What chance had he had against the likes of me? What chance did I have against the likes of Discord with no horn?

Well, I thought indifferently, if I’m going to die, I better make sure he remembers me.

I roared at him, “This will not be the end of me!”

He put a finger to his lips. “It might.”

I didn’t have my magic that night, but I still had my overabundance of strength. If I was going down, I would try my best to take him with me. Leaping off the slowly sinking boat, I caught Discord unawares, his eyes bulging and his fingers preparing to snap. A few seconds too late, though.

“AARRGHH! AHHHH! LET GO! LET GO!”

My razor sharp teeth clamped down around his single thin goat leg, tearing through flesh and fur with ease. I heard bone snap and couldn’t help but relish the fresh taste of raw animal. It was meat, after all.

Below me, I heard our boat sing its swansong as it quietly bubbled its way into the deep; the shackle clasped painfully around my leg, trying its best to reunite me with it. I was strong, yes. Strong enough to leap through the air and bite through animal flesh, but weighed down in the water, I doubted I would find my way back to the surface without aid.

Discord thrashed his wounded leg with me still attached, every move causing my teeth to sink in deeper. I tasted blood, marrow, but most of all, fear.

“I should have given you a muzzle instead, you lunatic!” he shouted above me. “Can’t you take a hint and just accept that you’ve lost? You were suicidal before! Why can’t you go back to that?”

He kicked me away one last time and I felt the chain around my leg beginning to pull me under. My jaw ached from the strain, and somewhere in the back of my mind I thought this might be the end. Such a pitiful way for a King to go, I thought.

“No…” I mumbled as I fell away, crashing into the deep waters below.

I watched the thin bits of light dancing along the surface become fainter and fainter until it was nothing but darkness above. The cold wrapped me in its icy embrace and I grew numb. At the sandy bottom, my anchor came to rest, and I settled down next to it. I hooked my teeth around the chain and attempted to chew through, grimacing from the pain. Then I used all four of my legs to try and pull the chain off the anchor, only to idiotically exhale what little oxygen I had left.

I might die tonight, I thought, although it would still be hours from then.

Maybe near-immortality isn’t as great as some would make it out to be.

Then I closed my eyes.

REGARDING THAT QUIET PLACE

In my earlier journal—the one I left in Canterlot somewhere—I called death a blackened pit of nothing at all. I wasn’t lying, either. I’ve had enough experience with the place to keep from twisting the truth around it. But does that mean I can’t hope for something more? Something besides the darkness and the overwhelming absence of anything at all?

In the few hours that slowly ticked by at the bottom of the lake, I thought of everything that would happen once I passed on. Fluttershy and her friends would ask where I had gone. Of this, I had no doubt. Would they ask Discord, or would he tell them without prodding? Worst of all is that they would think I left them without a word—without even a parting goodbye. Twilight would undoubtedly think the same. Sombra gave up and left us alone, she would think. He couldn’t get what he wanted, so he went somewhere else. I was right all along.

On the Canterlot rooftops, ready to drop and fade away, I hadn’t cared what anyone would say about me when I was gone, just as long as I left the way I wanted to. Only now, in the very real face of one last death, did I care about what others would say, and more importantly what they would think.

I had friends. We may not have been as close as could be, yet there was room to grow. I felt warmth being with them and I felt the need to help them, as much as I might have struggled to adapt.

I did not want to go, and I did not want to leave them. Yet, it seemed the decision had been taken away from me.

When something small and purple crawled out from the darkness several meters in front of me, I knew I had finally succumbed. I could only think how odd it was to find not a world of darkness waiting for me, but an image I could only have dreamed of—Twilight Sparkle swimming through the water towards me, determination on her face. Had I been good enough this time around to warrant a less bleak afterlife? It was a nice thought, I will not lie. Maybe the creator above had as many laughs watching me fail as Discord had.

With a short blast from her horn, Twilight broke apart the chain holding me and I wavered in place. I could barely keep my eyes open; everything was so faint and so far. She cradled her legs around my shoulders and I was dragged back to the surface. The only question now was whether we’d stop once we broke through or continue to the stars? Already I was enjoying this afterlife more than the other one.

Someone’s lips pushed around mine and air was forced into my lungs. Each one of my numbed muscles and organs came alive from the welcome air, accepting it greedily. I shot up and found myself on a grassy bank, mane and fur soaked through as I dripped along the ground.

A similarly wet and panting Twilight Sparkle sat a few feet away, staring at me in equal parts fatigue and anger. “Why?” she croaked. “After everything I told you, why would you try this again?”

Barely comprehending how I was rescued from the water, her question sailed far and away from any coherent answer. “What do you mean?” Reminded of the draconequus, I perked up and briefly searched for him. Obviously, he was either gone or hiding. My horn had also been returned to me when I wasn’t aware.

Twilight could hardly keep her words from bunching together. “I told you there was more to life than what was in this town. I told you there was more than wanting to be my friend.” She paused to look away. “I don’t want you to die, Sombra. And the fact that you’re trying to kill yourself all over again… do you truly think there’s nothing left for you?”

The picture was becoming clearer, but she still had more to say.

Twilight shivered from the wind. “When Fluttershy came to me, saying that you had suddenly vanished, her first thought wasn’t that you’d left Ponyville, but that something had happened to you. Together, with everyone else, they came to me to try and help. Clearly, they care about you. You’ve either grown a sense of compassion since you left Canterlot, or your act has improved.”

I told her earnestly, “It is not an act, Twilight.”

She continued, “Seeing them as worried as they were—seeing them care about you, the same way as I had before, it brings up a lot of emotions, Sombra. A lot of things I wanted to leave behind me. When you attacked Flash Sentry, you showed me the honest cruelty that lay inside you. The moment Flash came to and could speak to me, he told me he never wanted to see me again. And could I honestly blame him for wanting that?”

Twilight hitched in a breath as she shed a few tears. “It was because of my connection to you that he was left in such a state; all because I had made you my friend. Flash was my first colt-friend and I thought that things would work between us because I believed that was the way things worked. I was naïve and once outside of our relationship, I can finally look back and know with certainty that things were far from perfect. But it was because of you that they ended as they did.”

She shivered again and I was tempted to comfort her, yet there was so much I did not understand that night.

“You have left me torn, Sombra,” she said slowly. “Flash is gone from my life because of you, and now I only want to move on to whatever comes next. And yet you remain: someone literally begging to be my friend again; someone that jumps in a lake when things don’t go their way. And now my friends tell me that you’ve changed and that you’re trying your best, but what’s stopping you from doing what you did before? Why should I set myself up only for you to destroy my life again?” She sighed. “I don’t wish you any ill will, Sombra. But more than anything, I don’t want to be hurt by you again.”

I stared at the small spot of grass below my head, tiny drops tumbling from my soaked mane. In such an emotional state, it was hard to look her in the eyes.

I said softly, “I am sorry, Twilight. For all the pain I’ve caused you. It doesn’t matter if I thought I was doing something right at the time; the ramifications should be enough to tell me it was wrong. I am sorry about Sentry. I did not mean it before, but my perspective on things has changed. He… deserved harsh words for the way he treated you and nothing more. I regret that I went as far as I did.

“I upended your life in a single night and I can understand your fear of ever speaking with me again. You gave me a chance and I spit it back at you—more than once. All I can ask now is that you give me one last chance, with the knowledge that I will never hurt you again. I don’t want to see you cry anymore. But only know that even if you reject me again tonight, that does not mean I will stop trying. You need to understand this is not all an act.”

Clearly winded, she got to her hooves and moved towards me. Not completely looking at me, she wrapped herself around my shoulders, her small bit of warmth causing my heart to race.

“Then I accept you as my friend, Sombra,” she told me. “With the promise that you will never hurt anyone again. I’m sick of feeling pulled in two directions and I’m sick of hating you for what you’ve done. That isn’t the type of pony I want to be. Only know that this will be the last chance I give you. My heart is more fragile than what it once was because of you.”

I didn’t wait for anything more. I didn’t care if it was all some trick of Discord’s or the rewards of some blissful afterlife. With her legs still wrapped around me, I returned the embrace and more than likely squeezed every last breath of air from her. It was something that couldn’t be helped. It was like that sensation from before—as though she might be taken from me at any moment. But the statement that found its way into my head above all was that I had my friend back.

“You will not regret this, Twilight Sparkle,” I told her. “I will do right by you and I promise things will be different. I will change for the better, you will see.” I whispered into her ear, “Thank you,” and soon after she teleported us away from that miserably cold and wet location.

Now the only thing I had to do was not break the newfound brittle bound between us.

And kill Discord, obviously.

Chapter 14: Regarding Thin Bridges, Services, and Soft Bits

REGARDING NECESSARY INFORMATION

“How much does Discord mean to you, Fluttershy?”

I hadn’t meant to come across so direct to her, but I knew of no better source for answers. I only hoped the invite of tea would be enough to coax out some valuable information. Next came the hard part—dancing around my uncharitable motives.

Fluttershy sipped her hot drink with lemon wedge. “I would consider him one of my dearest friends, Sombra. I know from time to time he can be a little rough around the edges, but I’ve seen his good side enough to know the real him. He only needs to be nudged in the right direction every now and then.”

It had been four days since my abrupt mid-night swim and the draconequus hadn’t made a single appearance around town. I had a suspicion I was still being watched from a distance, although each bush I searched yielded nothing but twigs. I knew he would return. It was only a matter of time.

And I knew I had to be ready.

I asked her softly, “Would the rest of your pals consider Discord a friend, then? A true, true friend, as I believe the saying around here goes?”

At that, she gripped her cup close to her chest and stared at the table. She could have lied right to my face in that moment, but the unmistakable truth was clear on her. “I would hope so…” she started softly, “I mean, not as good of friends as the six of us, but I think so. He’s just not always the warmest of friend, as often as I think he could be.”

Attempted murderer? I thought bitterly. You don’t say?

I ran my hoof around the edge of my mug and asked casually, “Say Discord disappeared for a while. How badly do you think the six of you would miss him?”

Fluttershy would remain the odd pony out; every one of her friends, I believed, would more than welcome the sudden vanishing of Discord. No hearts would be broken and in need of mending. Fluttershy would be a different story. She would worry and she would cry. She would beg for us to look for him—the same thing she had done for me. It would pain me to see her in such a state, but I would only be doing what was best for everyone. I was sure they’d all understand when it was over. I’d only need to remind myself to buy Fluttershy a cupcake or the like when I broke to them the news: that Discord had spontaneously combusted when he tried to sneeze and belch at the same time. (I was sure something better would come to me before the grand event.)

Fluttershy came away from the table to meet my eyes. “Why would you ask me something like that?”

“I’m only musing, Fluttershy. I heard he’s not the most dependable of types, so in the large unlikelihood he should decide to depart for a time, I was only wondering how you would feel. I would also be curious to know how you’d all feel should I go away suddenly.”

I had learned of Fluttershy’s legendary stare only a few days after I’d arrived, when she coaxed a wayward forest animal from her home. I think I must have been getting something close to that, as most of the gentleness left her eyes and was replaced by a solid, unforgiving wall. Too bad no type of hypnosis had ever worked on me.

She asked openly, “Are you planning on doing something to Discord, Sombra? It’s obvious you two haven’t gotten along all that much, but I don’t want you two fighting for no reason. That’s just mean-spirited. You’re a far better pony than to do something like that.”

I wanted to tell her there was a good difference between mean-spirited and justified, yet held my tongue. Already I knew I had said too much and in all the wrong ways. I had never been the most restrained of speakers—I’d rather get to the core of the problem as hastily as could be.

I smiled at her. “Of course not, Fluttershy. I’m only concerned, is all. He’s hasn’t been around for a few days and I’m getting worried, same as you. I can only imagine in time, him and I will become the closest of pals. I mean… I can’t hang around with mares all the time, can I?”

She giggled, and the tension seeped from the room. “Somehow, Spike does.”

“Who?”

REGARDING THIN BRIDGES

The first evening I spent with Twilight was not some intimate encounter as I’m sure you were coming to expect, but rather a droll evening at Fluttershy’s alongside the rest of her friends. They chatted about their daily goings-on while I spent most of my time weaving in-between the kitchen and the living room. I made them all hot chocolate (third attempt that night—the only batch that didn’t have sludgy, floating chunks at the top) and without hesitation they drank. No fear of animal parts or foal tears in the slightest.

A small dragon by the name of Spike accompanied Twilight, and the second he entered the house I was tempted to kick him back out. Needless to say, I was a tad nervous around dragons. And wasn’t there still a chance this little reptile could be a draconequus in disguise? Apparently not. Although my feelings on dragons as a whole hardly wavered that night due to my brief conversations with Spike; I think it must be in their blood to at least be somewhat annoying.

Twilight sat in the middle of her friends—I welcomed the sight openly. I hadn’t meant to divide them like I had when I first entered town, but the sight of the six of them together again—along with the bright smile on Twilight’s face—made me feel much warmer than I had any right to be sitting by myself in the corner.

After each friend asked the rest what they wanted to do that night, Pinkie Pie made the decision for them. Since she had haphazardly stored a board game in her mane, she yanked it out to plop on the table. I had stopped trying to understand her chokehold on physics days ago, and my mental wellbeing thanked me for it.

Spike the Less Annoying Dragon joined in soon after and I, too, was invited to play. I had never heard of the game, much less its rules, so I opted to spend my time watching and sipping my drink. It was a decision I don’t regret. From the best seat in the room, I could see Twilight Sparkle as she returned to her former self, and all I wanted to do was watch.

The next morning, I went to Twilight’s castle without a worry in my mind. She had invited me over the previous evening and I had readily accepted. This was new, I thought. This was something in the right direction. I should have known things never shifted entirely in my favor.

“Sombra, I don’t mean to be so blunt, but you’re lazy.”

I had hardly stepped a single hoof inside the lavish castle, taking in each small decoration and design (along with all the oddly empty bookshelves), before she intercepted me with a quill and scroll. My morning’s original oatmeal had already been replaced by something sour.

“What?”

Twilight flipped a page and scanned a list. “Ever since you left Canterlot, all you’ve done is crash on Fluttershy couch and mope about. I know you’ve tried to help, but… so far, I’d hardly consider what you’ve done helping. But I think that’s only because no one’s given you the chance to not screw it up. So on that front, I’ll be helping you. I know you haven’t been fully reformed, as of yet—”

“Oh, please don’t make me go back to group!” I interrupted. “They make me talk… about feelings! And I’ve found much better cookies since I’ve left.”

She patted my head like a child. “I wouldn’t waste your time or theirs, Sombra. Plus I don’t think you’d gain anything by attending again. No, what I’m suggesting…” She paused. “Actually, that’s not right. What I’m forcing you to do is something called community service.”

I frowned. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Of course you don’t,” she said pleasantly. “From what I’ve heard, you don’t know a lot about the new world you’re living in, but that’s something we’ll get to later. Community service is when you help the ponies and the area around you.”

I frowned harder. “But, Twilight, that’s what I’ve been doing this whole time! It’s not my fault if no one requests my assistance after I’ve so graciously offered it!”

Twilight rolled her eyes and scanned her scroll again. “This time, I’ll make sure you don’t muck it up. I believe your heart’s in the right place, only perhaps… just not your head.”

I couldn’t frown any harder. “That hurts, Twilight.”

“That’s good, Sombra. That means we’re making progress. It also means you won’t forget my words anytime soon.” With far too much glee, she unfurled the rest of her paper to tumble to the floor. Dozens and dozens of lines with check boxes coated the thin monstrosity with abnormally exacting neatness. “Here’s a short list of helpful activities you can do around town. No more sitting and bugging my friends, and no more moping around while trading taunts with Discord. If you truly want to be my friend again, you’ll help out the town I live in.”

I stared at her list with rising dismay. Then I said the biggest insult I could think of. “Twilight, I hope you know you’re starting to remind me an awful lot of Celestia.”

She smiled at that. “Good. She was my teacher, after all. I’m sure by now more than a few things should have rubbed off. But don’t be such a sulk, Sombra. Lists can be fun!”

I told her, “Writing lists can be fun. Doing them… not so much.” It was then that a thought came to me. “You briefly mentioned Discord, Twilight. I had been meaning to ask Fluttershy something, but I doubt she’d want to tell me.” I licked my dry lips and came closer to her. “How did you and all your friends destroy him all those years ago? I only ask because it sounds like such an interesting tale.”

With her horn, Twilight folded her list and narrowed her eyes at me. I tried to smile in return.

She said, “We used the Elements of Harmony to cast him back into stone. Each of us held either a necklace or a crown and using the friendship between us, we were able to defeat him. Since he was perfectly preserved in stone, I wouldn’t use the term ‘destroy,’ either, Sombra. He only had to be stopped before he ruined all of Equestria with his chaos.”

I nodded eagerly. “That’s very interesting, Twilight. And where do you store your Elements these days? I can only image they’re gathering dust, since most enemies have vanished in the last little while.”

Her apprehension disappeared and she gave me a smirk. Not a good sign. “If I still had them, Sombra, I wouldn’t tell you where they were. They’ve become what you’re standing in now. Once Tirek was returned to Tartarus, the Elements became this place, in a way.” She raised a leg to gesture towards the ceiling. “Not a bad trade, if you asked me.”

“Oh…” I couldn’t stop my tacked-on grin from drooping. “Are the Elements the only way to destroy—”

“Defeat.”

“—defeat a draconequus?”

Twilight nodded. “As far as I know, yes. And that’s why we should all be thankful he’s chosen to be friends and not enemies with us.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “I’m not going to ignore the nature of these questions, Sombra. Are you planning on doing something to Discord, right after you promised me you wouldn’t hurt anyone?”

It had been the plan, of course. That was before my half-baked notions of killing draconequuses had been crumpled into a ball and flung into the nearest dumpster.

I tried to add some gentleness to my face. “I only ask out of interest, Twilight. You said I needed to be brought up to speed with this new world, so I’m merely asking from a purely academic standpoint. Those who don’t understand history are bound to repeat it, correct? Nothing sinister under this tough exterior.” I grinned and wrapped a leg around her.

She pursed her lips. “I hope so, Sombra. For your sake.”

She levitated a thick text into my chest that fell to the floor. Its title read: “101 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS NEW TIME PERIOD AND YOU!” Underneath the garish name was its author—unsurprisingly: “Twilight Sparkle”.

I poked at the cover as if it would bite. “You wrote me a book?”

“I wrote Luna a book,” she corrected, “back when she first returned from her banishment. Since I found it unused in the Canterlot archives, she’d either finished with it or never read it to begin with.”

Option B, I guessed.

“But since it’s no longer being used, what better pony to give it to than the one-thousand year old sleepy-head living in Ponyville?”

I chewed on my tongue. “Thanks?”

“No problem.” She shoved the book into my chest along with her slowly unraveling scroll. “Now get busy, Sombra! There’s a lot of work to be done and I expect to hear good things from every pony you help. I will, of course, be grading you on all this.”

Once more she had reminded me of the pea-brained ruler known as Celestia. Her lists. Her tasks. Accomplishing what she set out to accomplish. Had I made a mistake? I thought.

Then Twilight pulled me in close for a reassuring hug and all dour thoughts evaporated from my head. “I’m sure you’ll do fine, Sombra,” she told me. “Just read the book and try to understand the differences between your time and ours.”

She pulled away from me. “And if you ever have trouble deciding what to do, just think: WWNMD.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“What Would Not-Me Do.”

REGARDING SERVICES

“…this world might seem like a scary and hard to understand place. Customs have changed and so has the art of cumbersome linguistics. No longer are words needed to be shouted forth for ponies to understand—conversations are now regularly held in a soft tone of voice.

“You may feel overwhelmed in your newfound surroundings, bearing witness to changes that may or may not make sense given what time period you came from. Yet have no fear, gentle reader! I, Twilight Sparkle, will aid you in your rediscovery of Equestria! Firstly…”

I skipped the rest of the introduction along with the author’s notes before flipping the back cover over. Only a single quote was printed near the bottom, from Spike the Less Annoying Dragon. It stated, “I’ve read this book six times now. Not by choice.”

Around midday I had crossed off close to a half-dozen objectives on Twilight’s services list. Unlike the scholarly assistance I was prepared to originally give out to the populace due to my vastly higher intellect, most of these tasks were of the physical variety. (And, as I’m sure Twilight’s reasoning went, Sombra-proof.)

Already, I had repainted the Apple family barn with help from Eeyup Pony. When the work was near complete (magic does takes a lot of the hassle out of it), I told my friend they should invest their bits in higher-end paint, thus saving them the need to repeat the same menial task.

To this, my friend said, “Nope,” and I knew I had hit a soft spot on the inwardly delicate stallion. I asked if he was all right and he quickly reverted back into his soft spoken shell. “Eeyup,” was all he managed to say.

I patted him on the back. “You feel the advent of newer technology may make your job and thus your position in life irrelevant, don’t you? Due to your close-knit family, you never thought of attaining higher academics, so apple farming naturally became your way of life. And now the prospect of becoming useless and unnecessary fills your soul with worry and dread, which is why you like to tackle most of life’s burdens all on your own.”

A lone tear rolled down his cheek and fell from his quivering jaw. “Eeyup.”

“You don’t need to say anymore, friend,” I told him gently. “I can read you like a book. And to you, this barn represents more than just storage for hay and the like. You look at this barn like a symbol for yourself. Each time you add a new layer to its fading exterior, you interpret it as a new and fresh barrier to hide behind. You don’t want anyone else to glimpse what lies beneath your fragile surface, so that is why only you like to paint it—with as thin a coat as possible each time.”

“Eeyup,” he croaked, and I knew we had made a breakthrough that day.

Eeyup Pony truly was the greatest friend that I knew absolutely nothing about.

Following that analytical encounter, I was invited to speak at the local schoolhouse on behalf of Rarity’s younger sister—the chance to meet a rare figure of history, or so I’d believed. Twilight had already laid out a short speech for me, and without much inflection or enthusiasm, I read it aloud. On the surface, the facts about my Crystal Empire were correct (I never thought of Twilight as the type to skirt away from possible research), but when I got to the “rightful” liberation by the “saviors” known as Celestia and Luna, I had to physically hold my tongue between my teeth until it bled. More than once, I had to remind myself who I was doing this for.

Then came the Q and A:

Foal 1: “Someone said you’re made of chocolate. Is that true?”

Sombra: “Yes.”

Foal 2: “Can I touch your horn?”

Sombra: “No.”

Foal 2 (again): “Can I please touch your horn?”

Sombra: “Quickly.”

Foal 3: “What’s it like to die?”

Sombra: “Stand where I’m standing and you’ll know.”

Foal 4: “Do you eat children?”

Sombra: “Only ones that ask too many questions.”

Foal 5: “Were you the pony that took me inside a candy store and wouldn’t let me leave?”

Sombra: “That’s silly. You’re being silly. Stop being silly.”

Foal 6: “In pictures you have a cape and some metal thing on your head. Why don’t you have those?”

Sombra: “They’re in the shop, right next to my patience.”

Foal 7: “My parents say you’re planning on running for mayor.”

Sombra: “I don’t know what that is, but it’s true.”

Foal 8: “Why don’t you try and take back your old Empire?”

Sombra: “Because I’m sure there’s enough suffering there already under Cadence’s tyranny.”

Foal 8 (again): “What makes you say that?”

Sombra: “From what I understand, she’s the Princess of Love—not taxes. The Empire will undoubtedly go bankrupt within a year, tops. I would hate to inherit such a mess.”

Foal 9: “Are you still a bad guy?”

I had rather been enjoying the string of questions followed by snide remarks, but this query gave me pause, coming from such a young filly.

“I…” I struggled for an answer—not only to be done with my visit, but for my own sake. I had told others I was good, and in the short while since I was set free, I had (if one were to bend the rules a bit) remained good. But was I really? Could I honestly consider myself good while plotting the death of someone labeled reformed?

“I don’t know,” I said eventually, before telling their teacher I was done. Then with more force than necessary, she showed me the door.

REGARDING SOFT BITS

Tired from that morning’s slog of “forced” assistance, I hurriedly scanned Twilight’s book of acculturation, every few paragraphs finding the need to stop in the street and curse. Things had changed quite a lot since my simple days, and I would say not for the better.

A new chapter entitled “Meat Is Bad” had been added to the mix, and I was sure I knew why. The rules in my old Empire were that most ponies stave away from meat. Since I had been the rare exception to the rule, I devoured freshly caught wildlife that I ordered my cooks to prepare just the way I liked it. There was—of course—more than enough to go around to some of my higher ranking officials, but I had always been a rather stingy individual. So that meant it all went to me.

If no one had the strength to oppose me, I thought, how could I be overruled?

Even with that in mind, I didn’t think everyone went completely vegetarianover the years.

Still, thinking of Discord’s tasty goat leg in-between my jaws almost made me whimper on the spot. No more meat. No more tasty blood and fat. An eternity without the simple joys of carnivorous delights. Thoughts like that made me wonder how long I could keep Discord’s carcass out of sight and on ice. Then I giggled in a way that made a few passersby hurry in their step. I thought mischievously, After all, I couldn’t get in trouble if there’s no evidence, could I?

I was so damn clever sometimes.

That was when I felt an alarming heat burning my back.

Closing my book, I wiped the sudden sweat from my brow and shielded my eyes. Before that sudden moment it had been a warm day at best, and now I found myself close to panting from the baking heat. Staring at the sky I finally noted the sun and its newfound location—a lot closer to the earth. And was it still moving closer to the ground, or only towards me?

“This can’t be good,” I mumbled, as I heard the ponies around me run in complete opposite directions.

“Hello—” was the last word I said in Ponyville that morning.

Poof!

“—Celestia,” I said to the white alicorn in front of me, her trademark smirk of indifference already sharp around the edges. I sat in her visitor’s chair while she sat pleasantly behind her wide desk; her ever flowing mane almost eating up the entire window behind her. The sudden sight of her caused a wave of unease, yet the cool interior of Canterlot castle helped solidify my resolve.

“Hello again, Sombra,” she began. “Having a good morning?”

“I was.” I tried to pry whatever information I could from her glare. The fact that I was in front of her told me that this meeting was bad—now the question was how bad. “Behead any non-believers recently?”

She ignored my barb. “I’m only curious to know how you’ve been doing since you’ve left, Sombra. I must say, things have been rather quiet around here. That’s not a bad thing, mind you. But now that you’ve relocated to Ponyville, the news of what you’ve been up to has been, I must say, rather dull.”

I still didn’t know if a trap was lying somewhere in wait. “As I’ve told others, I’m still figuring things out, Celestia. In the meantime, I’ve grown quite accustomed to the cozy little town. There’s no doubt in my mind you know I’ve been spending a lot of my time with the Elements of Harmony.”

“Yes, I know.”

“So you must also know that Twilight and I have spoken again—that we are friends once more?” It was so much fun saying those words.

“I… know that, too,” she said slowly. “But, truthfully, that’s not why I’ve brought you here.”

I tried to remain composed—to smile as though this weren’t an unwanted meeting with the single largest annoyance in Equestria. “Do tell, Celestia.”

From a pullout drawer, Celestia levitated a series of glossy papers—clear and colorful pictures filling every inch. How suddenly clear it had become why the Princess of the Sun had wanted to meet with me that day. Now I only wondered how many guards I’d need to kill during my escape out the back.

“I’m not sure when these were taken,” she said coolly, “but I’m pretty sure this is my sister Luna and you, fighting in a forest—together, at night, in the rain.” She pointed to a picture with a clearly visible Luna alongside an unfocused me. “At first I thought, ‘Oh, it can’t be him.’ But then I took a look at this one…” she pointed at a clearer one of myself, along with my giveaway horn, “and now I get the oddest feeling that this was you.”

I thought calmly, During the day shift, there are two guards outside Celestia’s office and three down the hall. If I dispose of them quickly enough, the rest will still be scrambling up the stairs by the time I jump out a window. With any luck, I’ll only break a single leg on impact.

“I hope you’re not thinking of running off, Sombra?”

“No.”

“Good. So can you explain these pictures for me?”

She leaned back in her chair with an expression that told me I was safe for the moment. Until I said something wrong, that was.

“Luna and I had a short fight in the rain on a single occasion,” I answered bluntly. “We exchanged taunts and sparred, then said our goodbyes. It was merely an exercise in fun.”

She smiled. “I’m sure you both had a lot of fun. Clearly.”

With a hoof she pushed forward one last photo—when Luna had kissed me on the cheek.

With one leg broken, I could then teleport to Fluttershy’s. She could reset the bone and I could catch a train out of Ponyville. With more luck, Twilight will come visit the new cave I shall forthwith call my home.

“Who gave you these shiny papers, exactly?” I asked meekly.

“No one. They were left on my desk this morning.”

I will eat your heart last, Discord. As small and tart as I’m sure it will taste.

Celestia shook her head, her eyes not leaving mine. “But that’s not what I care about, Sombra. I only care about the wellbeing of my younger sister, who I believe—for reasons unknown to me—has grown attached to you. I can only assume it is due to your shared love of combat and inexperience in this time and place.” She paused, then said thickly, “What are you planning on doing with her, Sombra? I warn you, should you break her heart—”

My eyes widened as I felt some strong aura of magic wrap around a very delicate part of me—not loving in the slightest.

“—I will not hesitate to rip off each and every one of your softest bits and ensure you live the rest of your immortal life without them.”

“Jealous, are we?”

She squeezed and I yipped in my seat.

“You really are foolish to poke fun at a time like this, Sombra. Tell me what is happening between the two of you.”

I sneered. “Nothing is happening, Princess. We had a completely consensual fight in the rain that ended with a kiss—a kiss supplied by your sister and not by me. Truthfully, I have no overwhelming feelings for her.”

Celestia leaned across her desk. “And why is that, Sombra? Are you saying Luna’s not good enough for a stallion such as yourself?”

I blanched and then choked on my spit. “What! You can’t do that! You can’t just set me up like that, Celestia! That’s not fair! That’s not fair at all!”

She smiled, and below me I felt those horrific sensations disappear. “I know, Sombra. I was only trying to get under your skin, as you tried to do to me so many times during your stay here. As happy as I am to hear of your lack of feelings for my sister, what worries me are her continued feelings towards you. The next time you see her… you need to let her down, as gently as you can. She is a wounded soul—the same as you, I would imagine—and more than anything, I don’t want to see her hurt.”

Celestia scooted the small pictures to the corner of her desk to dump in the trash. With a more ordinary expression, she turned back to me. “What I said about your ‘soft bits’ being connected to Luna’s heart also goes for what transpires between Twilight Sparkle and you.”

My cheeks flushed. “I have no idea what you mean.”

“Yes, you do.”

Before I could say another word, she teleported me from the room.

Chapter 16: Regarding Heroes, Honesty, and Colors in the Sky

REGARDING HEROES

I did not sleep that night, instead spending all those long hours laying on Fluttershy’s couch and staring at the ceiling. Something large was coming and I had no way of knowing what it was. I knew I could handle trouble—sometimes I even thrived on it. This wasn’t something that everyone shared. My thoughts were of Twilight and the others, and the fact that Discord seemed on the verge of breaking apart. Jealousy and envy are terrible feelings to act on. I am reminded it was jealousy that had created me all those many years ago. In his head, Discord might have thought he was only doing what was right—isolating his small circle of friends from any outsiders. The problem with draconequuses is that what they consider “help” was what others would call reckless endangerment.

Then again, who was I to talk about “help?”

As soon as the sun rose, I left Fluttershy’s and walked around town as ponies slowly emptied from their homes while a half-dozen trades-ponies sluggishly set up their market stalls at the center of town.

A mare with a carrot cutie-mark waved at me and I did the same in return. I should have felt elated by the simple gesture and the knowledge I might not be shunned forever, yet there was so much more pressing on my shoulders. As I walked, I absentmindedly glanced at the boarded up Ponyville town hall and saw a flicker of movement inside. Perhaps they’d finally gotten an exterminator to take care of whatever pests had infested there.

Tired of moping about trying to clear my head, I purchased two coffees from the café and trotted to Twilight’s castle. By the wayward kink in her usually immaculate mane, I knew I had come by much earlier than she was used to. Regardless, I went inside and quickly finished my drink before brewing another pot. If there was one good thing invented during the time I’d been asleep, it was coffee. (I can scarcely imagine what would have happened if I allowed my slaves to partake in its robust delights.)

With a single eye open, Twilight yawned and poured herself a bowl of cereal. “You’re early. Then again, you never mentioned you’d be coming by today. Couldn’t sleep well?”

I sat at her kitchen counter and held my coffee close. “Not exactly.”

“You want to work on your list some more today or help around here again? Yesterday we got quite a bit done, so it’s your call.” She munched her soggy oats as she flipped through the morning paper. This had to have been the first time I’d seen her in such a vulnerable light—hair down and unprepared; waking and eating and preparing to start her day. It was a simple sight and yet a nice one, too. Her hatred of me had subsided and now I was allowed to see the honest, real Twilight with little care about how she appeared or acted. It was something I wouldn’t mind seeing each and every morning.

I tried not to stare. “I’d rather stick around, if that’s all right. If I spend all my time fixing up the town, then I’ll end up with nothing left to do. Better I let some things pile up.”

Twilight blinked away some tiredness. “That doesn’t completely make sense, but I’m too tired to figure out why. Since you’re one coffee ahead of me, you can get started on whichever box of books is left.”

I left the counter and carried my cup close. Hardly paying mind to which texts I was rummaging through, I thought of another question I had been pondering for a while.

“Why do you do what you do, Twilight?”

She propped her head on a hoof. “You’re going to need to be a lot more specific, Sombra. And use more words than ‘do’ and ‘you.’”

“Okay. Why do you choose to protect those around you? Why do you choose to help the world? More than likely, someone else would have taken the mantle if you weren’t around.”

The question made her sit up a bit straighter. “I protect ponies because it’s the right thing to do, Sombra. There’s no question about it. My friends would say the same.”

I turned to her. “Or is it only because you were shoved into that role, that you help protect them?”

Twilight’s soggy cereal was forgotten for the moment. “Do you really think I wouldn’t try and help those around me if I wasn’t a part of the Elements of Harmony?” She shook her head. “With or without that title, I’d like to think I’m just Twilight Sparkle, doing what Twilight Sparkle would do because she wants to do it. Is that what gave you the right to do what you used to do? Because you crowned yourself ‘King,’ you raised yourself above others?”

I smiled faintly at her. “I’m only trying to understand the difference between heroes and villains, Twilight. And yes, I believe some of what I used to do was because of the title I gave myself. In a way, I had a role to play, and so I played it as best I could.” I paused. “You were given the Elements of Harmony and their powers because Celestia saw the good in you. I wished for gifts I never had out of spite and was rewarded them—only for that raw power to cause me to destroy everything around me. We were both given gifts in our youth, and we travelled down very different paths. Now I’m only curious as to what creates these archetypes: the individual, or the situation they’re placed in?” My chest tightened as I barely finished my next sentence. “And since living in this town, I’m beginning to wonder if I could have been something more than that monster that continues to thrive in the nightmares of thousands.”

I turned away from her as my eyes started to water and a lump formed in my throat. It had been so long since I’d thought of days past—since I’d honestly questioned what I could have been had events turned out differently.

I buried my head in a book as Twilight came closer. She put a leg on my back as I glanced away.

She told me softly, “I would consider you living proof, Sombra, that an individual can be anything they want to be—if they choose to. The things you did before were terrible and perhaps some of it is beyond forgiveness, but you have the chance to start over now. If you want to be bad, I don’t think you’ll have any trouble. And if you want to be good, you can be good, too. But all that’s up to you.”

I nodded along, still keeping my head down. Twilight rubbed one of my shoulders as she chewed on her next question.

“Did you have a family, Sombra?”

I exhaled quietly and stared at the same two pages of floating text, not reading a single word. “I did.”

“Any siblings?”

“I was the youngest of seven—five brothers, one sister, and myself. I had a father and a mother, though I was too young to remember a thing about her. I was very small when she died.”

“What happened to them?”

“When I changed, they left me. Every one of them did.”

Twilight hesitated before asking, “Did you love them, Sombra?”

I blinked a few tears from my eyes and tried to hide my face from her. “I hated each and every one of them until the moment they deserted me. Only then did I discover how badly I needed them—how much I wanted to be surrounded by them. But did I love them, exactly? I think I must have, in some odd way.”

“You don’t need to answer my next question, Sombra, if it’s too personal, but were you always a unicorn?”

When I didn’t answer, Twilight wrapped herself around me reassuringly.

She whispered, “I’m sorry. I know it’s none of my business. We don’t need to talk about stuff like that.”

A part of me almost wanted to continue—explain to her that every last grievous thing I had done had never been my fault. But that wasn’t true. Not entirely. I had always known what I was doing as I did it, as terrible as they were.

But more importantly, there was still a draconequus to think about.

REGARDING HONESTY

Hours later, when the rest of Ponyville rose to greet the day and I couldn’t help but hear each and every pony trot past Twilight’s thin windows, the knot in my stomach felt as though it could tighten no more. I knew then I’d need to ask her for it, and hope she’d give it willingly.

“I need you to teach me that horn spell, if you remember it.”

Twilight regarded me cautiously. She opened her mouth once, only to shut it and rethink. Then she said, “I can teach it to you, if you want. But after, I’m going to ask you a question and I’ll need you to be honest with me about it. Sound fair?”

No, I thought. “Yes,” I said.

My lessons took up a good chunk of the remainder of the day. Once Twilight realized she had forgotten which text she had written it in, she tasked both me and Spike the Less Annoying Dragon to widen the search. After breaking for a hurried lunch (I made them speed up by sneezing over the last few bites of their salads), we found the thin spell book tossed aside and gathering dust under a shelf.

A simple glance, and Twilight was ready to teach. She seemed to thrive on such tasks.

Levitating the book in front of her, she told me sternly, “First off, Sombra, I need you to clear your head of all thoughts.”

I was already a step ahead of her. “Easy. Done.”

“Okay. Now I want you to picture your horn in your mind’s eye. Its shape and solidity—everything that helps keep that image in your head. Got it?”

I thought of nothing but my horn. I could feel its length and every bit of power that lay within. To me, it felt like an elongated knife. “I have an image, Twilight.”

She nodded. “Good. Moving on.”

The rest of the lesson resembled close to the same series of steps: concentration, imagination, and trying to defend oneself while doing a number of things at once. Since Twilight herself hadn’t the ability to remove my horn without breaking it off with a hammer, the only guaranteed way of testing the spell’s resolve would have been by calling Discord and asking for him to try. Since that was way out of the question, it would be up to fate to see if it would all hold true.

“What do you think, Sombra? Doable?”

Twilight smirked at me, surrounded by her small armada of hovering books she had been systemically throwing at me to dodge while continuing the spell. Spike stood behind me and tried mostly in vain to catch each zooming text in a glove, clad in a baseball uniform I was weirdly curious why they had in their possession.

I tried to blink away my growing headache. “It is,” I answered hesitantly. I had thought the spell would be trivial. “As long as I can mentally protect my horn, it should be safe, yet only if I remain in constant control.”

Twilight nodded. “Basically. If you were hoping for something easier, I’m afraid it just doesn’t exist—at least not yet. Discord’s magic is something I can hardly comprehend, so any defense against it was bound to be complicated. It’s the best I can do for you, Sombra.”

I bowed my head. “Then I thank you for your knowledge, Twilight.”

Reorganizing her tossed books into neat stacks, she told me, “You know what this means now, don’t you?”

I grimaced. “Question time?”

“Question time.”

We sat together in the corner of the library, a circular table between us. Twilight drank ginger tea while I greedily drank from my eighth cup of blackened joy that day. Soon I’d need to discover where the washrooms were in this labyrinthine place.

I crossed my forelegs over my chest. “You want to know how I keep my hair so velvety?”

She glared at me earnestly. “Don’t try and joke this aside, Sombra. You’ve never been all that funny.

I sighed. “Then what’s your question?”

“I asked you before if anything was going on between you and Discord, and you told me no. I heard you had a verbal spat with him at Fluttershy’s, but honestly, I think everyone gets into spats with Discord.” She leaned across the table. “And now I’m asking again: what’s happening with you two?”

I stared at my steaming mug and wished it would suddenly grow to the size of a pool. At least then I could dive in and swim away—drink and swim and remove myself from the situation. Yet, I had promised her I would answer. Now the only question was whether to lie or to tell the truth.

She grabbed one of my hooves. “If something is wrong, I’ll forgive you for lying before. But that means you need to be straight with me right now. You might not admit it, even to yourself, but I can tell you’re scared of him. You wouldn’t have asked me twice about protecting yourself if you weren’t.”

When I still didn’t answer, she added pressure to my resting leg. “Sombra, a big part of friendship is having the ability to open up to those close to you—to ask for help if you need it. I know it’s not something that comes easy, especially for a pony like you. I think you’re the type that’s done things on your own for so many years that asking for help might feel like defeat, but you need to understand that it’s only normal. Even Applejack had trouble asking for help when it was obvious she needed it. So please, if there’s something you need help with, I will help you. All of us will.”

I had ruled a kingdom on my own for hundreds of years and rarely asked for the opinions of others unless I simply sought agreement. Most of my time spent in Canterlot was close to the same—me, myself and I, creating half-baked plans of escape. At least then, when an idea of mine failed, I only had myself to blame. It was only when everything came crumbling down after my encounter with Sentry that I realized I had been receiving help the entire time from some book-loving do-gooder. Maybe now was the time to try something different.

Putting aside my mug, I added my other hoof atop her own. I found I couldn’t meet her stare. “You pulled me from that lake and saved my life, Twilight. And I’m thankful that you did, and that you allowed me to be your friend again. The only thing that needs to be explained now is why I was in that lake to begin with.” I paused, ran a fang along my tongue. “Discord put me there. It was not some new attempt at removing myself from this world but the childish ploy of a creature threatened by his own illusions about me.”

Although she tried to keep it from her voice, the hitch in her breath told me I had alarmed her.

She turned my head to look at her, eyes awake and aware. “Sombra, I need you to be honest about this. Are you telling me that Discord tried to kill you that night? For something you did?”

“For something he thinks I did,” I corrected. “And yes, he tried. Although I don’t imagine he’d ever admit to it. He has a way of twisting around rules.” I paused. “He’ll claim it was all some plot to bring us back together.” I smiled at her. “Although, I would have much rather preferred a surprise candlelight dinner oppose to nearly drowning in a lake.”

Twilight took her legs away as a blush rose on her cheeks. If she thought I hadn’t noticed, she was wrong.

I swallowed thickly. “Does this change things between us, Twilight? It was something I’d always wanted to tell you, but I thought you might not want to be my friend if you knew the truth.”

A few controlled breaths later, Twilight appeared more herself. I could only assume at the time that attempted murder from the Lord of Chaos wasn’t all that common. I guess that made me special. My resume was coming along nicely.

Sombra: very killable.

She eventually asked, “What does he think you did?”

I leaned back in my seat, a large weight stripped from my shoulders. I never would have thought speaking freely about my own troubles could feel so gratifying. It was all very new to me. “He thinks I’m trying to steal you all away from him—all six of you.”

“That’s absurd. I’ve known you for months already, but the rest of my friends have only known you for a few weeks.”

I nodded. “I know. But he thinks you treat me more warmly than you do him. And in a very small way, I can understand. I’ve been living at Fluttershy’s, I’ve been to everyone’s home or where they work, and every one of you have been nothing but supportive of me. Discord… is Discord, and he believes he’s being unfairly treated, and he fears that eventually he might be ostracized from the group. Unless I’m gone, that is.”

Twilight shook her head and I could tell she wanted to deny each fact, but I don’t think she’d ever been the best of liars.

“I wish you would’ve told me all this sooner, Sombra.”

“So do I.”

Twilight looked pained. “Do you think he’s right?”

“I’m the last one you should be asking that, Twilight.”

She closed her eyes and exhaled. Then she said slowly, “Although I’d never agree with his method of dealing with this problem, I think I’m starting to see why he’s feeling slighted like he does. Fluttershy was the one that reformed him, so I know for a fact they’re ‘real’ friends. But ever since he’s been reformed, all he does to the rest of us is try to trick and coerce and cause more mildly-controlled chaos. This puts us at a distance from him—all five of us. He tries his best to get on your nerves and most of us besides Fluttershy can’t deal with it. So maybe we aren’t all that close to him. He might have fun while he’s doing it and think that since we’re all apart of it, we’re somehow having fun as well, but that just isn’t the truth. Discord… he still has a lot to learn about real friendship, and I would say the same about you, too.”

I sipped my coffee loudly. “At least I never got you and your sister-in-law almost eaten by a plant.”

Twilight fixed me a cool stare as she tightened her jaw.

She was really going to hold that Sentry thing over me forever, wasn’t she?

I added quickly, “Let’s not go down that road, then.”

“For your sake, that’s a good idea.”

REGARDING COLORS IN THE SKY

The next few hours were spent at the same table, as both our drinks became tepid and then cold. Neither of us noticed as we talked of solutions and past stories involving Discord and his misguided attempts at befriending the five of them. It was interesting to hear each and every anecdote, then giggle internally picturing the lout. Yet, after each tale ended, I was only reminded of myself and of every sordid attempt of my own in the largely uncharted world of helping others. I was starting to believe that maybe Discord and I actually had more than a few things in common.

Save for the fact he was insane, of course.

Because I’m not insane. Everything I do has a purpose. It might only take some time to come to its rightful conclusion.

Yet, as much as I was learning, something still felt off. “So you’re saying we should ‘forgive’ him, and try and make him feel more included in the group?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. I believe that would be the quickest and most effective way of solving what’s going on between the two of you, before something really bad happens.”

I ran a hoof along the table. “Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but I recall a certain dark stallion that was trying to be forgiven and included, and he had to nearly die to get such treatment.” I rolled my eyes. “I would hate to think you’re playing favorites now, Twilight.”

Now Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well, Discord has the ability to retaliate in a number of ways with little regard for others. You just kind of mope.”

I faked a frown. “You’re making me want to mope, Twilight. And once I start, I can’t stop. Not unless you pat my head and feed me cookies.”

Twilight laughed and I chuckled deeply. Somehow, I still couldn’t get that sinister tone out from my laugh. It was something I’d need to practice, along with my friendship-face.

I thought for a moment. “You know, Twilight, there’s always another solution to our Discord problem that we haven’t touch on yet. I mean, I’m just brainstorming here, but—”

“We’re not going to kill him, Sombra. Or ‘destroy’ him, as you like to say.”

“I’m merely throwing things out there, Twilight. Can’t have too many solutions.”

“Murder is never a solution, Sombra. What Discord did to you was wrong, but to try and do the same to him isn’t right, either. There are thousands of other ways to deal with problems.”

As hesitant as I was admitting what transpired at the lake, I found myself even more reserved discussing what had happened the night before. I had done my own mischievous misdeeds that night on the draconequus and would like to keep them quiet. The rest, I would need to fill her in on.

“What do you think those numbers mean?” she asked.

We sat in one of the upper rooms of her castle, bare besides an old couch, a few well-worn rugs, and a gramophone tucked away in the corner, a helter-skelter assortment of records next to it.

I paced around the room only stopping to glance out the window, the twelfth cup of coffee making my legs fidgety. “I have no idea, Twilight. They might mean everything or nothing at all. The same when he mentioned something about my past.” I shrugged and trotted towards the window, the sun outside sliding away as the darkness took hold. If something was going to happen that night, I felt it would be soon. The only question was what and how. “Of course, he might be lying about everything.”

Twilight nodded from the couch, a tired expression on her face. “That’s the trouble with Discord.”

Only a few moments after I told Twilight of Discord’s latest ploy did she ask Spike to send letters to each of her friends. If what she said was true, they would be arriving at any moment. Where we all went from there was anyone’s guess.

I stopped staring out at the darkening town as something familiar caught my eye. On the windowsill sat the small clay pot I had given Twilight as a gift. What was inside wasn’t a plant or anything close.

I pointed at it. “You’re not using this right.”

Twilight huffed. “I’m using it just fine, Sombra. I know most mares enjoy the ‘simplicities of gardening,’ but I’m much more interested in the weather. And that’s what that is—a weather reader.”

I poked at the series of metal dials and tubes and swirly things I had no hope of understanding. I was happy enough knowing it was being used at all.

I gestured towards the setting sun. “You could always use the window, too, you know. For accurate weather conditions.”

Twilight chose to ignore me and laid her head on the back of the couch. Still feeling energetic, I went to her gramophone and levitated a few records. The device was similar enough to Fluttershy’s that I knew how to use it. Having zero hope of knowing a single musician or song, I randomly placed one into the slot and cranked it to mid-level. Luckily, the random selection was a slower tempo tune that seemed to match the mood of the night.

Getting the basic rhythm in mind, I went to Twilight and held out a leg. “Dance with me, Twilight.”

She regarded the leg bemused. “I thought you said you didn’t dance?”

“I don’t, but all this waiting around is making me anxious. And I can’t have you falling asleep on the couch.” When she hesitated, I added, “Plus, you have no choice in the matter. Sorry.” I then levitated her over to the center of the room as she laughed.

Setting her down, I placed a leg on her shoulder and she did the same. After the few dances at the Canterlot Gala, I had labeled the act as odd, silly and a complete waste of energy. My thoughts since then hadn’t changed much on the topic, but at the very least, this gave me a reason to be close to her.

I shouldn’t have felt as good as I did, given the impending doom that I knew would be coming at any moment. Yet, sometimes in our lives we find things that help silence such disquieting feelings.

I smiled at her warmly. “Am I your friend, Twilight?”

The movement of the dance stirred her awake. “Of course you are, Sombra. You know that.”

I paused. “Could I ever be something more to you?”

“What do you—” The realization hit her as her pupils shrunk and her face flushed. She gulped dryly. “I… umm… well… you know…” She tried to regain herself. “I’d need to get to know you first, Sombra. You and I might have spent months together in Canterlot, but I’d hardly consider most of that ‘bonding.’ You weren’t all that open about yourself, like you were today. Plus, you need to consider just how odd these circumstances are.”

I could barely look away—she was so adorable when she became flustered. “Life is full of surprises, Twilight. Although that doesn’t answer my question.”

She chewed on her lip. “I think you could.”

My heart quickened and I tried to keep my mind on the song and the dance. A lot was going through my head at the time and foremost was that I wanted to be nearer to her. Taking a hesitant step forward, I pulled her in. She glanced to the side, although she did not pull away.

I stopped in my step and lifted her head with a hoof. Somehow, she appeared more nervous than me.

I lowered myself to her and—

“Hey, Twilight! Your friends are here and they all seem worried about something!”

I turned and found Twilight’s miniature butler dragon frozen in the doorway, confused and bewildered. From him I glanced at the window, wondering how far he might travel should he suddenly be ejected into the night air with much force. Knowing dragons, he’d probably live to annoy another day. Still, I would need to ponder up a better fitting name than Spike the Distractor.

Taking a hint, Spike vacated the room, and Twilight and I descended the stairs to her foyer. Four of her friends stood waiting, each tense and timid, save for the pink one.

Twilight asked, “Where’s Fluttershy? And why do you all look like that?”

Rarity came forward. “We don’t know where Fluttershy is—either she’s still on her way here or didn’t get the letter at all—but I think the more important thing is what’s happening outside.”

“What do you…” was all Twilight said before she pushed past them and out the door.

I followed her and, a moment later, craned my head to stare off into the distance, where the pitch black sky swirled with bright plumes of red and yellow, mixing with the clouds high above. It would have been almost hypnotizing, if it weren’t so unnatural.

Applejack soon joined us. “Y’all reckon this is Discord’s doing?”

I turned to her. “I would say so.”

The mess of colorful clouds danced in Twilight’s large eyes. “What in Equestria is making it do that?”

A piercing roar tore through the still night air in answer to her question. A wash of blinding white erupted some blocks away near the head of town, as a more vibrant stream of reds and yellows entered the sky. Now I knew what was being left in the clouds: fire.

The ground shook as the unseen monster took its first step into town. Then it screamed in a voice that made me picture a speaking wall of crackling flames.

“Give back what you have taken, thief! Your illusions will not work on me! I know what you have done!”

I felt the hurried flutter of wings a moment before Luna landed by my side. Like the rest of us, she was hesitantly staring into the distance. “What did I miss?”

I couldn’t take my eyes from the sight. “I’m not sure, but something big.”

“Good. It has been some time since my nights have been troubled. What have we here, then?”

The monster took another step into town as his mammoth silhouette blackened the hanging smoke and cloud. It unfurled its far-reaching wings and continued to roar into the air.

“Show yourself, unicorn! I will not hesitate in burning every last soul in this town until you’ve returned what you’ve taken from me! All of you unicorns are the same, aren’t you? Cowardice, greedy, tricksters, careless fools—every last one of you! Come out now and reap your reward!”

I told her, “A very mad dragon.”

Chapter 17: Regarding Battle Garments and Fire

REGARDING BATTLE GARMENTS

As the others stood shocked, I hurriedly trotted back inside Twilight’s castle. If this was to be my first time squaring up against an opponent on the side of good, I wanted to fit the part. Although the garment I was searching for by no means gave me any increased strength or extra speed or anything of the sort, I knew it would give me the resolve I would need.

The first room held a few passable cloths while the second had nothing at all. Realizing time was of the essence, I made my choice and ran back outside. While most eyes were still on the sky and the slowly approaching dragon, Twilight’s eyes went to me and my new garment.

“Sombra, is that a towel on your back?”

I shook my head. “No. It’s a cape.”

“I really think that’s one of my towels—one of my good ones. Did you stick a pin through it?”

I closed my eyes. “The word is ‘cape,’ Twilight. That’s the word we’ll be using—”

“Is that one of your bed sheets, Twilight?” Rarity gave me a look over. “I had no idea you got new ones recently.”

“It’s a cape!” I screamed at them.

Rarity paused. “Are you sure it’s not a curtain?”

Exhaling loudly out my nostrils, Luna came up to put a leg around me. “Wear whatever you believe will help you in the fight, Sombra. Because I’m sure the large, fire-breathing, earth shaking dragon will show less resolve once it clearly sees you’ve just exited from the bath.”

“Fine! No cape, then!” I tore the reddish cape bordering between cerise and cardinal and flung it to the ground. “I hope you know you’re all being very unsupportive right now.”

Twilight came over. “Sombra, you really don’t need a cape. That was the old you, and this is the new you. And I think the Sombra without a cape is the one ponies prefer.”

Luna tried to add helpfully, “You will fight valiantly, I am sure. Make sure to protect yourself and try to not get in our way, and perhaps try a little harder than when you were sparring with me.”

Twilight stared at her. “When did you two spar?”

Sensing a topic I’d rather not get into at the time, I divided the pair with a leg and addressed the group. “All right, since I’m new to all this saving-the-day stuff, I’ll let the rest of you take the lead. Do we… do we talk to it first, or go right into the ‘hug’ portion of the fight?”

Luna spat, “This beast will receive no such treatment from me.”

Twilight shook her head. “I don’t know where you’re getting that information from, but that’s not how we work.” She thought. “Actually, I’m not sure if we honestly have a surefire way of dealing with these types.” She turned to Luna. “But one thing we do not want to do is hurt this thing. If what Sombra has told me is true, this creature is here because of Discord and his animosity towards him. We need to end this as peacefully as possible.”

Narrowing her gaze, Luna glared at me. “This is Discord’s doing? Why would you not inform me about such a thing? Why does Discord wish vengeance against you?”

I said quickly, “I just spent all day explaining that to Twilight, and when we have the time, I’ll tell you. Right now, we have a dragon to deal with.”

I knew Luna wanted to say more, but held her tongue.

Then we left to greet our guest.

In the time it took to run to the head of town, the mammoth beast boomed into the air once more to call out for its “unicorn thief.” We were only fortunate it had paused long enough to be potentially answered, and hadn’t gone straight for the slaughter.

On the way over, dozens and dozens of panic-stricken citizens galloped in the opposite direction, some screaming while others appeared tired and bored. It was then I was reminded this sort of thing tended to happen in this town on a semi-weekly basis. The only difference this time was the Lord of Chaos’ more vengeful attitude and the fact he appeared more out of his mind than normal. I guess my presence, too, was something new—whether that would prove helpful or the exact opposite.

Rounding the last building at the edge of town, I scanned the thickening smoke and stared in awe at each tall meter of hard-scaled dragon. Its yellow and red eyes pulsed with a haunting glow somewhere high above, the beginning of its torso starting at the tip of Ponyville’s tallest building, while the tip of its head remained somewhere in the smoke and out of sight. Its spread wings spanned half the length of town and its tail twisted against the ground, snaking halfway up a street. It fidgeted in place, peering between rooftops for a sign of anyone approaching. I doubted it would wait much longer.

I’m not proud to admit my limbs became tingly at the sight. I asked the group, “You’ve fought one of these before?”

Following us a meter off the ground, Rainbow Dash said, “Once. This one looks a little bigger, though. Or maybe I’m remembering it wrong.”

“But you won, right?”

She exclaimed happily, “You’re darn right we did!”

“Did you end up killing it?”

Her excitement faded. “What? No, we—”

“Did you mortally wound it?”

“What? Sombra, no!” She flew closer to me. “I mean, at one point, yes, I did try and fight it, but that was different. And when that didn’t work, we then tried to talk to it. We didn’t jump straight to killing it!”

I thought for a moment. “Whose words?”

“Fluttershy’s.”

I exhaled nervously. What Discord had been saying about her staying in that night—the fact that she wasn’t there right now—they were all things I should have picked up on earlier. But then again, how could I have predicted my evening would have been filled by a disgruntled dragon that only Fluttershy could have quelled?

The same thought seemed to occur to Rainbow Dash. She shouted, “And she’s not even here! Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh! Should… should I go back and get her?”

“I have a strong feeling you wouldn’t be able to get to her in time.” Or at all this night, I thought dismally. Then I thought of another reason Discord was trying to keep her out of this: to keep her out of harm’s way.

There were indeed benefits to being the Lord of Chaos’ favorite.

We came to a halt and formed a half-circle in front of the dragon’s gigantic clawed feet before staring upward, most expressions hardened and tense. I was used to combat—in some ways, I loved it. But that was when it was only me versus one of my inferiors. If my kingdom needed to defend itself against invaders, I would unleash battalion after battalion to win my battles for me. Between fights, I would pour my spare magic into their armor—not, of course, for their protection. If I could tell one group of fighters would not be enough to defeat our enemies, I always found it made a satisfying bang when I detonated them. True, I often ended up killing every one of my stallions in the field, but each one could take out fifteen enemies with them or more. And to think I used to laugh as the severed pieces bounced against the dirt…

Maybe tonight I could earn a bit of my soul back.

Rarity glanced at each of us. “So, who wants to speak to—”

“You! Vile creature!”

It seemed that Luna wanted to speak first, already hovering several feet in the air.

“Halt this nuisance upon my land at once and vacate this place immediately! You are not welcome here and are destroying my beautiful night sky with your unnecessary fire! I’m sure that more than a few ponies here wish to bask in my wonderfully painted sky, and now you are keeping them from that! If you continue to scare the populace like you are, I will not hesitate in showing you the full wrath of the Princess of the Moon! This will be your only warning!”

Luna returned to the ground, her thin funnel cloud dissipating as her voice stopped ringing across town. Once balanced, she smirked at me. “That should settle this.”

The blue and purple dragon above the smoke lowered its head down to us, its long and thin neck allowing it easy mobility. Each exhale from its tightly clenched jaw was like steam. Its narrow head whipped from one pony to the next, seeming to halt the longest on those with a horn—perhaps longest of all on me. Its red and yellow eyes burned like clear crystals illuminated by fire.

“Who dares speak to me in such a way?”

Luna took a step forwards. “I did, dragon. And I hope you took the time to hear each word I spoke, for they shall not be repeated.”

The sides of the dragon’s jaws pulled up into a tight grin, displaying the first few rows of sharp teeth. It giggled joyously. “Of course it was you. You… unicorn! Let me count how many you’ve brought to me tonight.” It swung its gaze sharply over the rest, causing several to take a hesitant step back. The dragon’s smile widened. It said softly, “Four unicorns… and two with wings, as well. How greedy you must be. The art of magic was not enough for you, so now you’ve forced a set of wings onto you to help you traverse in the sky. That is all right. It is still something that can be undone. And all it would take is one little bite!”

It twisted its neck and snapped its large mouth centimeters from Luna’s head, causing her mane to flip back. Luna continued to regard the dragon sternly, not even flinching.

She said, “Now that sufficient taunts have been traded, tell us what has brought you here so we may deal with you and send you on your way.”

The dragon snarled at her. “You know what you’ve done! You know what you’ve taken! Even now I smell it in this town—its scent calls to me. No doubt you’ve hidden it away—now I only wonder who will become the traitor in your little group.”

Twilight walked over to Luna, putting herself in clear view of the dragon. “If you don’t tell us what you think we’ve taken from you, we can’t help give it back. What is it you’ve come here for, exactly?”

The dragon lowered its head to the dirt and slowly slid it towards them, carving a thick gash into the earth. “So you plan to deny it, do you? Stealing from me?” Once its head was a few feet from Twilight, Luna wrapped a leg around her and cocooned them in a shield. The dragon huffed out its nostrils, its breath pushing against the smoke as it bounced against its surface. “Fine, then. We shall play it your way, if that is your wish. I have always wanted to know what your flimsy magic could do against real fire.”

While the dragon was preoccupied with Luna and Twilight, I tried to dive into its mind—to pull back all those thin layers that hid what it feared most. The only problem was that this creature was a lot larger than any I had mentally broken apart before, and the only way inside were through the eyes—ones that, at the moment, moved around with snake-like precision.

Ones that now stared at me with avid interest.

“You,” it growled. “You seem out of place, do you not? Yes, yes you do.” It sniffed at the air. “A stallion surrounded by mares? Do you believe they will be capable enough to help you, should I decide to bite off each one of your legs?” Then its venomous eyes found my horn and widened. “Oh, my! Are you not the most special of all? Not only must your compatriots don both wings and a horn, but you… you must have traded something special for that horn, didn’t you? And here I thought all those stones were gone—and was it worth it, in the end?” It grinned at me happily. “Of course it wasn’t! It never is! That’s the way it works, you fool! Just how old you must be to lay claim to one of those? Could that have been you all those years ago?”

I couldn’t take my sight from the beast. Both pulsating eyes seemed as though they wanted to devour me whole, along with all my dark secrets.

Twilight yelled to me, “Sombra, get back!”

The dragon’s mouthful of burning fire came close enough for me to sweat.

It said, “Old unicorns are the greediest of unicorns, full of tricks and illusions. You probably want to die already, don’t you, given that horn of yours? Fine. Then let me cleanse what’s left of your tortured soul in my healing flames.”

Then it opened its jaws, and I glimpsed the brightest light I’d ever seen.

REGARDING FIRE

I am not new to pain. I have lived in it and I have caused untold amounts of it and since reentering this world I’ve died and died again and almost died a third time. But fire is different.

Fire hurts. Bad.

If I had to think of some torment for Discord to live through for the rest of his never-ending days, it would be to set him on fire—perhaps a single hot poker shoved in a place that isn’t exactly a pocket. I’m sure he would transform himself into a marshmallow or an ear of corn, but still, the sight alone would be enough. As long as he agreed to scream for at least a little while, that is.

So where was I again, before we started talking of pain? Oh, yes. I was on fire.

“Arrraaghghghhhhh!” I informed anyone in Ponyville whose ears I could bend, as I galloped directionless up some random street in the opposite direction of the group.

A second before the dragon incinerated everything around me, a magical force had shoved me to the side as I, regrettably, could hardly stare away from its gaping jaw. While my torso was flung free from the flames, my tail was not; the burning embers licking at my posterior tempting to bring tears to my eyes. I know it was an odd thing to think of at the time, but it was almost as if my tail was trying to tell the rest of my body some secret—some very hot and painful secret. So with that in mind, I ran and ran and made sure my flaming body part never had the chance to stop swaying in the breeze.

Obviously, it wasn’t the most coherent of plans.

I rounded another corner and heard a window slide open a few houses down. As I ran and screamed I could hardly concentrate on anything at all. That was up until a small pool of water fell over top of me, extinguishing my poor scorched appendage. Now soaked through, I stopped and panted for a moment, before turning up.

“How’s the battle going?”

It was the carrot mare from earlier in the day, an uneasy smirk on her face as she held her overturned bucket aloft.

“It’s…” I could smell burnt, wet hair. “It could be better.”

She nodded. “If it’s not too much trouble, could you try and not destroy my house this time. Last time…” She thought for a moment. “I really don’t want to move again.”

“What house is this?”

“Twenty-four Cherry Street. The pink one.”

“There’re lots of pink ones in this town.”

She sighed. “It’s not my fault they all copied me! But did you know this house used to belong to Royal Duke Shimmering Isles?”

“I have no idea who that is.”

“That doesn’t matter, because this house also received fourth place in last year’s most structurally sound raingutters.”

“So you’re saying there are three houses I should be protecting above yours?”

She blanched. “What? No! Just don’t destroy it this time! I just had the movers reset the piano in the upstairs den and that cost me thirty bits!” Then she slammed the window down and waved me good luck from inside.

Now my list of objectives for the night had grown:

Don’t die.

If you do die, don’t die in some idiotic manner.

Don’t let anyone else die.

Don’t destroy 24 Cherry Street—the first of the pinks.

Seemed simple enough.

An immense shadow passed over the street and I glared upward. Luna, Twilight, and Rainbow Dash followed the dragon’s irregular path in the sky, circling and weaving around its massive frame. Rainbow stayed closest to it and somehow looped around the large creature in an apparent effort to confuse it. Second closest was Luna, trying to keep her flight as smooth as possible. Twilight flew furthest away, and even from that distance I could hear her yelling to the beast, still trying to defuse the situation before it got any worse. Having just been set on fire by the thing, I personally thought the time for words was over.

Rarity and Applejack came to a stop nearby, gasping for air.

“Sombra! You all right?” Applejack asked.

I ignored my smouldering tail for the moment. “I’ll be better once that dragon stops breathing.”

She pointed a hoof at me. “You know that’s not how we do things, Sombra!”

I spat at her, “That dragon tried to kill me!”

“Only because Discord made it!” She took a slow breath. “And didn’t you make a promise to Twilight that you would never kill again?”

“I did, but I hardly think now’s the time to—”

“Don’t kill it, Sombra,” she interrupted. “You do, that ain’t somethin’ that just goes away.”

Sensing the mare had already made up her mind on the subject, I held my tongue while keeping my own thoughts to myself. If the dragon could be dealt with peacefully, I would have no problem with that. If it decided that slaughtering everypony in town as its best solution, I would make the hard choice for everyone and live with it. I had killed thousands before—I was sure another body atop the pile would not affect me all that much.

All three of us watched the aerial display in the oddly colored sky as the dragon sent forth another swirling tunnel of golden fire, missing Rainbow Dash by several meters. Luna and Twilight still trailed behind.

I turned to the pair on the ground. “It’s not fair. They have wings and I don’t. How can I help them if I’m stuck down here?”

Both of their eyes widened as I felt a rush of heat behind me. As Rarity turned and scrambled away, she shouted, “I don’t think you’ll need to worry about that!”

Taking the obvious cue, I ran with them as I heard a rumble followed by a quick inhale of air. The wave of crushing heat rushed in behind us, and as the flames nipped at my backside, I realized none of us would be able to outrun the inferno. Using my horn, I shoved both Rarity and Applejack with a forceful push of magic in-between the thin crack of two houses. Knowing I had no hope of diving in next to them in time, I cocooned myself in the thickest shield I could muster and slammed into the ground.

I grunted as I continually forced more and more energy into the barrier, the twisting and turning and consuming flames barely centimeters from my body, wanting so desperately to get in and to devour. Just as the outside of the shield begin to weaken and bend, the fire dissipated, and I was left staring at a blackened and scorched street.

~~4. Don’t destroy 24 Cherry Street—the first of the pinks.~~

I wasn’t off to a good start.

Someone landed to my side and spun me around roughly.

“Sombra! Are you wounded?”

Luna’s lowered to me with an expression of concern as I tried to steel myself. As often as I seemed to be on the receiving end of physical punishment, it still irked me horribly to appear weak in front of others. As I got to my hooves, my face flushed and my legs shook violently beneath me. I nearly collapsed again. The energy I had expended to protect me from the fire had been more than I’d thought.

Luna helped me up with a leg. “Maybe this fight is not meant for you.”

I tried to push her aside but she held on. “No. It’s because of me that it’s here to begin with, so I will help fight it. I’ve done enough damage to this town—I don’t want to see it burned more than it is.” I sucked in the heated night air, trying to steady myself. “I’m only useless down here. You all have wings. I have a horn. If that creature remains in the sky, I won’t be able to help.”

Luna nodded. “I understand what you’re saying. The task may seem difficult, but I would not underestimate our combined resolve. That dragon has yet to realize who it’s dealing with.”

It was nice to hear someone who actually thought this might all turn out okay.

I said, “All right. So we need to find a way to bring the dragon down—”

Pointing her head in my direction, Luna wrapped me in an aura and clumsily placed me on her back. Still winded from the magical outpouring, I collapsed on top of her with little more than a grunt. A second later, she started galloping up the street.

“What are you doing?” I yelled into her ears.

Luna jumped and flapped both powerful wings, catching the air as we sailed high over the newly blackened houses. “I’m bringing you to the fight, obviously. That was your plan, was it not?”

“Well, actually…” As we climbed higher and higher and the ground became further away, I frantically tightened my grip on her sides. Heights were still something I could have done without.

She laughed. “You might want to ease your hold, Sombra. If I fall from the sky, you will be accompanying me.”

I released her as much as I was willing to and tried to find a better position on her back. As we got higher into the sky, I tried to take in my surroundings, as well as ignore the ever-present acrid smell in the air.

I told her, “Sorry, but I’m not used to riding atop alicorns.”

She turned her head to me. “Maybe we’ll have to change that tonight.”

I gulped dryly. I had so few problems when I had no friends. I wish someone had explained this part of friendship to me before I started all this—maybe in the fine print in a brochure.

Luna playfully bucked in the air, causing me to nervously clamp down on her again.

“Stop that!” I yelled.

“Only making sure you are not becoming drowsy on me. We are nearing the creature now.”

The immense dragon flapped lazily in the air as Rainbow Dash continued to circle its head, dodging easily each time it tried to clamp its jaws around her. As far as I could tell, Twilight had stopped trying to reason with the creature and was now following close behind it. Knowing her, an idea must have been forming in her head.

Steadily, we crossed over the dragon’s back, trying to keep in sync with its unnatural movements. I yelled above the wind, “What are you planning on doing?”

Luna answered sincerely, “I’m going to ride it.”

“The dragon?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I will try and force it from Ponyville. And because it is an act I’ve always wished to try. I believe it will be fun.”

And here I thought Discord was my biggest enemy. He only wanted to kill me or banish me forever. With Luna, she would end up accidentally killing me, either in some attempt at ‘fun,’ or, when she told Celestia I had no feelings for her, her sister would rip me apart, starting with my most prized possessions. I could only imagine such a thing would inadvertently cause the Princess of the Sun to reopen that dungeon she deemed too ‘evil’ and ‘horrible’ for most. Celestia’s Horror-topia: Population—Sombra the Heartbreaker.

When the dragon’s path straightened for a few seconds, Luna gently touched down on its narrow, hardened back. Despite my tight grip, she plucked me off her back with ease and set me aside. The first time the dragon changed directions, I lowered to its greasy scales and held on until my legs ached. So far I wasn’t enjoying this plan.

As she made her way up the neck of the creature, I asked her, “Why, exactly, did I need to come here with you?”

She didn’t turn around. “You would want to miss out on something like this?”

I didn’t say my next statement loud enough to hear. “Maybe.”

As Luna reached its head, she unfurled a long, thin magic band that burned pure white against the darkness. Extending it above her head, she turned back to me.

“Hold on to something.”

I wrapped myself around one of the dragon’s protruding spines and told myself next time I touched the ground, I’d stay there for good.

The next time the dragon opened its maw, Luna hastily looped it inside and pulled back as hard as she could. The creature thrashed, its neck whipping in all directions as it tried to shake loose, although Luna held on too tight to allow it much movement. She tried to angle its head to the left, the closest area out of Ponyville.

She yelled to it, “Creature! You did not heed my warning, so now I am forced to deal with you! If you continue to struggle, I—”

In one swift motion, the dragon spun around until its belly faced the sky. As tight as I had been holding on before, the harsh rotation caused me to lose my grip on its spine and latch onto the one behind it. Now the only thing keeping me from sailing towards the earth were two shaky hooves.

“Luna!” I called.

Already she was trying to readjust the creature, gasping from the strain. “One moment!”

On its own, the dragon flipped again—this time much harder. Before I had a chance to grab hold of something else, I was flung right off its back, watching Luna similarly forced to hover near its neck. While that was all well and good for her, for me…

“Oh, Celestia!”

As I fell towards the earth, I covered my mouth with a hoof. I hadn’t meant to utter such disgusting words, but considering I was about to die again, I felt I could say anything I damn well pleased. The wind rushed through my mane and I glimpsed the dragon writhing in the sky. Then a set of legs grabbed hold of me.

“My apologies for that.”

I glared up at Luna as she continued onward, some of that original elation clearly chipped away. The realities of the fight must have been starting to take hold. Then I realized how this odd scene must look to someone watching below.

“First I can’t have a cape, then my tail’s set on fire, and now I’m being rescued by a mare. This is officially the worse battle I’ve ever been a part of!”

“I beg to differ,” she said. “Remember how readily my sister and I defeated you?”

“I do. This is still worse. I’m useless up here! We need to bring it to the ground.”

“How would you do that?”

I pictured an image and snorted. “Throw a rock at its head, perhaps.”

Luna laughed. “You would need a fairly large rock, then.”

“Have you seen Twilight? Is she still near the dragon?”

Luna’s laughter faded. “No. She flew off a few moments ago. I think she must have a plan of some sort.”

Something around the back of Luna’s head caused me to panic. “Luna! Stop—”

That was when the dragon’s whip-like tail collided into her side and ripped me from her grasp. Again I tumbled away, the town still hundreds of meters below—only this time, I knew Luna had no chance of catching me.

And this time, I knew the ground would not be the one to finish me for good.

As swift as a raging current, the dragon dived towards the earth before looping back, its massive jaws opening directly below me. Would I be chewed, or would I live in the stomach for a while, I wondered? Luna got to ride a dragon that night. I got to be eaten by one. All in all, it had all made for one very interesting evening.

The creature’s mouth opened as wide as it could, and I glimpsed the its slick tongue, as well as the hundreds of sharp teeth lining either side. I concentrated with my horn. As it came up to greet me, the beast closed its mouth with a snap—only after I had teleported two meters to its left.

Sailing fast by its thin torso, I conjured together a curved sword made of raw energy and slashed into its side. My blade sunk a few inches into the creature, but not enough to cause much internal damage. Its scales were too tough and too hard. Still, I thought the roar of pain from the towering beast would help ease my mind, as I splattered against the road.

When I cleared the rest of the dragon and found nothing else to stab at, I closed my eyes and giggled in the wind. I doubt it saw that coming! I thought, perhaps in madness. Then something large and warm snapped shut around me, cutting my conjured blade in two. I opened my eyes again and found nothing but darkness, and a smell that could have only meant one thing.

I had still ended up inside the dragon’s mouth.

Chapter 18: Regarding Lies, Eyes, and Banishment

REGARDING LIES

“Ewwwww!” was the first thing I said in my new living space, after realizing nearly every inch of me had become sticky and gross once the dragon shut its mouth around me.

I balanced myself on its wriggling tongue and lit the tip of my horn. At the entrance I saw hundreds of sharp teeth and going the other way, a blackened hole large enough for three of me to pass through. Before I had much time to ponder a solution, I discovered being swallowed by a dragon was not the worst thing that could happen to me that night.

“These humid conditions are going to do horrible things to that mane of yours.”

Clad in a yellow rain slicker that ate up most of his torso, Discord stood at the other end of the mouth, a matching umbrella protecting him from any wayward bits of falling saliva.

I lowered to the tongue to growl at him, “You need to end this, Discord! You need to snap this thing away before it kills someone. There have been too many close calls already. It’s only be a matter of time before it tears someone apart.”

He put a finger to his chin. “Or until it tears you apart. Or perhaps until you kill it?”

When I said nothing in return, he smirked and strolled closer—amazingly balanced considering he was stepping on nothing at all.

“You are going to kill it, aren’t you?” he said casually. “That’s the only way this ends, Sombra. Your death… or its. You better make sure it dies before it affects those around you—Twilight or Luna perhaps? I don’t want to pick sides, but I can’t understand why you wouldn’t just be smitten by ol’ Moonie! Imagine you pair of idiots circling the globe, showing everyone just how moronic those living in the past truly are!”

I barred my teeth at him. “I have my reasons for who I choose to be with, but that part of my life is none of your concern.”

He giggled. “Oh, but you are so wrong about that.”

I had grown tired of his banter. “Give back what you’ve taken from this dragon! Stop this insanity!”

He feigned shock as he placed both hands to his chest. “Me? You think I stole something from that dragon? I may be a tad off-balance from time to time, but I’m not that crazy! But yes, you might be on to something. That dragon is here for someone… a unicorn, if I’m not mistaken.” He waved a hand at me. “Tootles!”

“Discord!” I screamed, although he was already gone.

The dragon lurched to the side and I was slammed against its soaking gums. I internally grimaced in pure disgust, before wondering if a six-hour shower would run Fluttershy out of hot water.

“Fine, then!” I screamed at my surroundings. “I might not be able to kill you right now, but I can damn well cut you to pieces! No one tries to eat a King and gets away with it!”

Using my last reserves of energy, I created a smaller blade of light and slashed down at its tongue, carving it up and then spreading it out. Instantly, the dragon shifted from its flight pattern, and I was forced to hold onto the handle of the blade with my teeth. Once resettled, I slashed down again and the dragon forcefully shook its head from side to side, before opening its mouth and spitting me out.

Like a pony-sized spit-wad, I careened through the air, a few fresh bits of saliva wrapping around my face and causing me to shut my eyes. I had little idea where I was going, although I knew I must have been somewhere close to the ground, as I saw the first few juts of roofs in the corners of my eyes.

Smash!

My back collided with something horrifically solid and I pressed through, the pain in my spine obliterating my senses while I fell away into darkness, the shattered remains of roofing and shingles following close behind.

“Ow.”

I remained motionless for a time as my senses came back to me. As the pain faded, I rubbed away any excess residue and felt the need to vomit when some thick gobs got too close to my snout. Since I was fairly certain I wasn’t completely paralyzed, I tried to stand, only for all four legs to start sinking into the sizeable mound of objects I had landed in.

Even though my head was pounding, I lit my horn anyways. What surrounded me on all sides wasn’t so much a surprise, but more a depressing understanding. Trying my best not to slip on the stacks of coins, I slid down the small hill and to a narrow section of unburied floor. Once settled, I brightened my horn’s light and stared at the large golden horde.

“Forty-six thousand five-hundred and seven,” I mumbled, as cold reality took hold.

What surrounded me to all sides were piles and piles of bits, jewels, and golden artifacts. Since I wasn’t about to go ahead and count out each and every piece, I would trust in the number Discord had mentioned the previous evening.

Walking closer to a corner, I noted the wooden planks concealing most of the windows, meaning I had been flung through the roof of the Ponyville town hall. Now I understood why I had been tasked with boarding it up—as well as why someone had been lurking around in there earlier in the day.

“You miserable bastard,” I growled, as I walked around the circular hall.

Near the other end sat a small school desk with resting quill. Next to that was a lone burning candle, barely illuminating the small book propped open next to it. Sullenly, I went to it, well aware of what I’d find inside.

The title on the journal read: SOMBRA’S—DON’T OPEN!

And yes, that is actually what’s on the front of this book.

I took a slow breath before flipping to the last written page. It read:

"REGARDING GOLD

“I have secured the remainder of the dragon’s gold in the center of town. By my last count, I was at 46,507 bits and pieces. I’ll count it all a second time when Fluttershy’s asleep and I’m able to sneak away for the night.

“A few days ago, I added my own tasks to Twilight’s insufferable “helping” list and sealed off the town hall to store all my treasures. If someone should stumble upon it before I am ready, they will be taken care of without hesitation. I do not need to keep it here long—only until I find the right moment to leave this place and buy myself what I need to take back the Empire.

“As much fun as it’s been pretending to be good and simple-minded and yet oddly infectious, I find the droll act a little too much to bear. I’m only thankful I won’t need to do it much longer.

“I went to that dragon’s cave three times before, and each portion of its riches I stole, I then cloaked in a spell that made it seem as if nothing at all had been removed. I had never been more nervous in my life than during those treks, but I would do anything to get back my old kingdom.

“If the dragon comes looking for its stolen riches, I will not hesitate to slay it. If it scorches all of Ponyville with its flames and devours each of its citizens, I will sit and applaud its efforts before delivering one final blow to its heart. In that case, who would be left to know what had happened at all?

“I had thought I could change, but I had been wrong. Discord was right about me this whole time, and for this I tried to silence him for good.

“I am a friendless monster and the face I show to the world is nothing more than a hardened mask with a painted-on smile. Once I find my kingdom again, I will devour Equestria one city at a time—one pony at a time, if need be. (Yes, even kind-hearted Fluttershy—I’m really that evil.)

“Before I leave this town, I will collect both my gold and this journal. And if I trample on nothing but ashes by that time, so be it.”

I closed the book with a snap as someone dropped from the hole I had created in the ceiling. I heard the shower of displaced coins and shined my light on them, relieved by what I saw.

Twilight took a moment to take in all the piles of bits. “Well, I guess I can stop searching now.”

I came towards her, levitating my journal to her head. “Discord’s trying to frame me. He stole this gold along with my journal and forged a new entry. He’s trying to make it seem as if I plan on taking back my Empire with a pile of coins. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to work, but then again I don’t believe Discord’s thinking all that clearly these days.”

Twilight hurriedly scanned the false entry and turned back to me. “You have a journal?”

With my horn I slammed the book shut and scooped it back up. “Yes. What of it?”

“Nothing.” She lowered her eyes. “I have a journal too, you know. I’m only surprised. What do you write about?”

“Just… things happening in my life—nothing all that important.”

“So… like a diary?”

Suddenly I had been turned into a piñata and the world was made of sticks.

“No!” I blurted. “It’s a journal! Adventurers write in journals, so that’s what I’m doing!”

Twilight hid a smile. “How much adventuring do you do from Fluttershy’s couch?”

I growled and chose to ignore that last question. “We need to find a way out of here, and then find a way to bring that dragon to the ground.”

She thought for a moment. “Well, since you can’t fly, I could teleport us out of here.”

“Good. I’ve already spent a great deal of magic already.”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “And what about the dragon? Should we tell it we found its gold?”

“I don’t think it’s in the mood to listen to reason. We need to bring it down.”

“How do you plan on doing that?”

I told her openly, “I’m going to drop a rock on its head.”

She laughed.

I didn’t.

She stopped. “Really?”

“Yes. With your help and the others.”

“I thought you’d be better at planning strategies, being a King and all.”

I sighed. “I’m rusty.”

She shook her head. “I can’t let you kill it, Sombra. I know it’s hurt you, but everyone here is only here because of Discord. It’s not its fault it’s been wronged.”

I barred my teeth as a fresh wave of anger passed through me. “I know that, Twilight! So for you, I will not kill that dragon tonight, unless it forces me to. And not for a second do I believe a rock will be enough to silence it for good. I only want to stun it so I can talk to it. Then, perhaps, we may get to the end of all this.”

Twilight looked around, hesitating. I could tell she had another ten questions on the mind, but I silenced them by placing a hoof on her shoulder.

“You need to trust me, Twilight. I know I can end this. I may not be smart, but…”

She stared at me gently. “But what?”

Looking back, I should have thought further ahead. I said slowly, “I don’t know how I was going to end that.”

She smiled at me. “Brave?”

At that, I felt a heat in my chest unlike any other. I don’t believe such a term had ever been used on the likes of me.

As afraid as I was, I tried to smile back. “Sure, let’s try that.”

REGARDING SHIELDS

I informed Twilight of the rest of my simplistic plan and, with her holding me close, we exited the town hall to the empty street outside. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the light, as I heard a swift inhale behind me. I hardly had the chance to turn around before another wall of flames came to greet us both.

“Get down!” I yelled, pinning Twilight to the road as I cocooned us in a shield.

The flames passed above us and the overwhelming heat was already stifling. I watched the fire spread four houses down, eagerly licking and blackening everything it touched. I held onto Twilight as I felt the outside of my shield begin to bend inward and thin, just as it had before. Last time I barely had enough strength to protect myself—now my shield was larger, and I had started off the spell tired and worn. Watching Twilight’s tightly shut eyes, I knew what I would have to do.

As part of the barrier around Twilight’s head narrowed and cracked, I moved what magic protected my back towards her portion of the shield. The heat on my fur first doubled and then tripled, and soon I was grimacing against the pain as my flesh burned and then boiled. As hard as it was, I did not scream.

Seconds later the fire came to a halt and the dragon took off again. I fell backwards to extinguish the fire still eating my fur. “Augh!” I yelled, as the ground pressed against my elongated wounds, the fresh pain not subsiding in the least.

“Sombra! Oh, Celestia!” Twilight came around me with a shocked expression, the corners of her eyes already brimming with tears. “Don’t move! I’ll get help!”

I grimaced and rose to my hooves, every part of my body against the idea.

“I’m fine,” I growled. “We end this. Before this goes any further.”

She glimpsed my ruined flesh. “Sombra, please… let me get—”

“No!” I shouted. “I’ve lived through worse, I’ll be fine. Get the others and explain what we need to do.”

Hesitantly, she trotted off and flew into the air, every few seconds turning her head to look back. I wavered in place until she was out of sight, and then collapsed to my side. I would give myself thirty seconds to rest, and then we would quiet the dragon for good.

REGARDING ROCKS

Less than three minutes later, I knew my subpar plan wasn’t going over as well as I’d hoped. I could tell everyone wanted to say something to me about how idiotic it all sounded, but I had a feeling Twilight might have quieted them down before returning to me.

I think the condition of my back helped shush them up, as well.

As Rainbow Dash soared back into the air, Luna, Twilight and I galloped as fast as we could into the Everfree Forest, searching for that boulder I had noted on the night Luna and I had sparred. On the way, Luna cast a cooling spell on my charred skin, causing me to shudder with relief. As much as it helped, it couldn’t mask every inch of throbbing pain.

I slowly climbed atop the massive boulder. “All right. Everyone ready?”

Luna held out a hoof. “You may wish to rethink this plan, Sombra. It seems unorthodox and mildly insane.”

I glared at her. “It’s still a step above riding a dragon. And if no better arguments come in the next four seconds, we will go ahead with this.”

I counted to four in my head, my eyes drooping with every tick.

I asked, “Will Rainbow Dash be in place by now?”

Twilight nodded. “Knowing her, she’s already been there for a while.”

“Good. Then let’s give this terrible idea a try and see what happens.”

Twilight and Luna came to either sides of the rock, pressing both forelegs into it. Meanwhile, I tried to find the largest grooves on top to help steady myself—even if the idea of actually being balanced during the next few moments seemed next to impossible.

When they both appeared in place, I yelled, “One! Two! Three!” and a moment later I found myself thousands of feet in the air, falling to the earth. I know I had mentioned I would never again agree to fall from the sky once the dragon dumped me overboard, but sometimes, for the good of everyone, it’s necessary to go back on our words.

As the momentum of the fall tried to pluck me from the falling rock, I lowered and dug my hooves into what small holes I could find. To both sides of the rock, Luna and Twilight continued to hold on, casually flapping their wings every few moments.

Carefully, I stretched out my neck to look down. Rainbow Dash was indeed where she was supposed to be, busily flying around the dragon’s head near the clear center of town. Every few seconds she glanced up, and the last time she did, she wavered in place before shooting in our direction.

The dragon followed the pegasus and seemed to pay no mind to what might be directly above it.

“A little to the left!” I shouted against the harsh wind, before Luna and Twilight shoved the boulder in that direction.

Rainbow Dash stopped circling the beast and hovered near its jaws, anxiously waiting for its next move. It lunged at her once and she dodged it easily. Then it craned its head around and nearly threw her from the sky.

Only a little longer now. We were close. We were so close.

“Now to the right!”

The rock shifted and now the time for anymore calculations had come to an end. Either we’d come crashing atop its head, or we’d sail past and find some new ways of dealing with it. I couldn’t fathom the dragon giving us a second throw.

The dragon lashed out at Rainbow Dash one last time and when it returned to its spot, I jumped away from the boulder, caught by both Luna and Twilight. Suspended and safe in the air, I gleefully waited and watched the falling weight.

Thunk!

The rock collided above its eyes and bits of blood and scale showered out. Before leaving its body, the boulder then scrapped along its snout, causing the immense creature to start head first towards the earth. It roared a single time in surprise and pain before going silent.

“Hehehehe…”

I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched its still body crumple to the street below.

“Hahahaha!”

Twilight shook my leg roughly. “This isn’t the time to laugh, Sombra! You said you could end this, so let’s do it! I feel bad enough for hurting it as much as we have.”

My laughter died as I thought of what I’d need to do next. I knew it would be difficult.

REGARDING EYES

The spread out torso of the dragon ate up most of the market square, its tail snaking up another street while both immense wings draped over the roofs of a half-dozen houses. As far as I could tell, it had missed most everything of worth. But of course, if someone had been crushed under its humongous bulk, I didn’t think they were about to complain about it any time soon.

I made Twilight and Luna stay near the edge of the market, should the fallen creature suddenly lash out with another blast of devouring fire. As I neared, the idea of such a miraculous attack seemed less and less a possibility.

“How’s your head?” I asked bluntly, as I stepped along the thin trickle of blood oozing from its torn scalp.

Its back rose in shallow breaths and its nostrils twitched in spastic intervals. Perhaps it was dreaming. Soon enough, I’d know for sure.

“Guh.”

I painfully scrambled over its mouth and stepped onto its snout. Steeling myself, I placed a hoof on one of its eyelids and lifted. An unseeing red and yellow eye stared at me—through me. It was clear the dragon had been hit hard enough to keep it still for some time.

“The window into the soul,” I whispered. “So soft… so very soft.”

I glanced back to Twilight, who held a hoof to her mouth in worry. I nodded to her, explaining that everything was fine.

All it would take is one quick burst of magic through its eye to finish its days for good. I had spent more energy than I had in reserve that night, but I was sure I could find enough. I could melt its eye and scramble its brain in less than a second, and if anyone asked, I could tell them it had come to and I had no other choice. It would have been easy, too. Really, it would. And I knew I would have enjoyed it, regardless. It had caused me so much pain that night. But, still, I had made a promise. And this one I would keep.

“Let us see what you fear, dragon.”

I lit up my horn and directed it to its propped-open eye. In an instant, I saw everything that lay within. What it was dreaming as I stood atop it, what it remembered of days past, what it feared, what it cared for, and who it would die for without a moment’s hesitation. Along with all that, I saw the image of a unicorn dressed in a worn robe, its head concealed besides the jut of its horn underneath its hood. Blurry beyond recognition, I wondered if this was an image the dragon actually saw or one it had made for itself. The “unicorn thief” it had been searching for.

I pulled back on my search as its other eye came open. Both pupils slowly swam in my direction as I fixed it with the coldest stare I had in me. It made me think of home.

I told it softly, “I know what it is you fear, dragon, and you are both foolish and selfish to abandon them in such a time. They are so young and so fragile, and you left them all alone, all to get back a portion of your stolen treasure. I have destroyed larger things than you in my time and I can do so again—all I need to do is find you one more time. And how many dragons’ lairs could truly be around these parts?”

I grinned at it, more awareness filling the space behind its eyes. “You caught me and my friends unawares tonight, and yet I still bested you. Yes, me, a twisted unicorn with no wings. Give me time to plan—give me time to think—and I will carve up the rest of you as I had your tongue. And I will not hesitate in doing the same to your offspring as you watch.” I motioned my head in the direction of Twilight and Luna. “I made them a promise not to kill you today and I will stand by it. But let me remind you that midnight approaches, and with it a new day. And the more you try and hurt those I care about, the harder I find it is to keep such frail promises.”

I licked my dry lips. “You’re a big creature, aren’t you? How long do you believe I could keep you alive? I’ve gone so long without meat, I don’t think I’d be picky in the slightest, as gamy as you might be.” I went closer to its eyes. “And if all that is not enough, dragon, I also know where your lost gold has gone. I am not the one who took it, but I will see it is returned to you in haste, and without retribution. But only on the condition you leave my town right this moment.”

I backed away to stare at the beast, trying to discern if anything I’d said before had found its mark. Its eyes blinked heavily once and I watched its back rise with an increase of air. It was clearly awake, but hardly in a fighting mood.

Or so I had thought.

“Good. Now, leave before—”

One of the dragon’s claws resting near the shattered windows of a store slapped into my side before wrapping tightly around me. Before it closed in, I had enough time to free my forelegs as they uselessly gripped the outside of its scaled flesh.

Exhaling angrily, the dragon lifted me towards its burning eyes, the stream of blood still trickling down its wounded head.

“Sombra!” Twilight screamed behind me.

Without turning, I held out a leg for her to stop, while keeping my unblinking eyes on the dragon.

It mumbled, “What makes you think your pretty words will make me leave?”

I told it sternly, “Because there is truth to them.”

It closed its grip around me, the air forced from my lungs. “I could crush you into mush and burn this whole town to ashes. You have not bested me, cursed unicorn.”

“Then why haven’t you already?”

The dragon contemplated my words.

I said, “This does not end with you winning, dragon, but it can end amicably for all. If you kill me, you will find yourself at the mercy of not merely one of the most powerful beings in the world, but three of them—one that controls the sun, too. You would be smart to take my offer.”

The dragon growled deep in its throat and tightened its claws. I heard my ribs crack as the pain of a dozen knives stabbed me at once. Soon I tasted copper in my mouth. I made no motion to the pain, simply continuing to stare at the beast.

“Return what you have taken, unicorn. Or I will return, and no words will stop me.”

It dropped me to the dirt and I choked in as much air as I could. Something in my chest had been wounded severely and each breath felt on the verge of strangling me. I coughed out droplets of blood onto the road.

I watched the dragon slowly rise to its legs, swaying as it did. Once up, it flapped its great wings and flew into the air, soon vanishing from sight. Only a minute later, when no other blast of fire careened into the night, did I lie down on the street and exhale a painful sigh of relief.

REGARDING BANISHMENT

I heard hurried hooves against the dirt and Twilight and Luna stopped near my side. By their expressions, you would have thought I had died or something.

“Sombra, what happened?” Luna asked. “Why would you let it do that do you?”

I wheezed out, “We talked. Then it left. That’s all that matters.”

Twilight knelt beside me. “We need to get you out of here and to a hospital right now.”

“I told you before, I’ll be fine.” I painfully got to my hooves, the task that much more difficult given the absence of air. “There’s only one thing left to do tonight. We need to talk to Discord and come to some agreement.”

Luna said, “What makes you think he will show up at a time such as this? He is more the type to watch and to laugh at the destruction caused by his own games.”

I could hardly keep my head up. “Just call him. He will come. I think he’s been waiting for something like this.”

Luna thought for a moment, then shouted for the entire town to hear, “Discord! Your game has come to an end and you have much to explain! Reveal yourself, and admit to your wrongdoings!”

At the sound of her voice, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack trotted up the street to us, panting once they stopped.

Applejack said, “Where’d the dragon get to?”

Rarity grimaced. “And what happened to Sombra?”

Fresh blood dripped down my lip. “The dragon and I had a differing of opinions.”

“You made the dragon go away?”

Trying to keep as much oxygen to myself, I ignored the question and waited for Discord’s arrival with the rest. I wasn’t sure what to expect when he came.

“Oh, Celestia! Oh, good heavens! What happened here?”

This wasn’t it.

I turned around and almost fell as Discord ran up the street, his sunken eyes taking in each and every ruined detail of town. He kept both hands close to his mouth in horror.

He entered our little group, breathless. “What in Equestria happened here? Is everyone all right? Where’s Fluttershy?”

I coughed out another splotch of blood. “There was a dragon.”

Discord narrowed his eyes at me. “I wasn’t talking to you, Sombra.” He said to the rest, “What did it want? And what could have brought it here? We’ll need to check every house in Ponyville to see who’s responsible—this type of thing can’t go unpunished.”

In a blue flash, Luna leapt atop the draconequus, pinning him to the ground. I had never witnessed the mare more unkempt as in that moment.

“No more lies, Discord!” she screamed. “We know it was you that brought the dragon here and that it was you that tried to place the blame on Sombra! Untold lives could have been lost here if we hadn’t stopped it as soon as we had! Your chaos has gone too far this time.”

The draconequus stared around confused, unable to give up the game so soon.

“What? No. What do you mean? I have done nothing at all—I have no idea what you’re talking—”

Twilight came over to them. “We found Sombra’s journal inside town hall, along with the gold. My community services list never asked Sombra to board up any building—you added it, along with the new entry, framing Sombra. He told me about the lake, Discord, along with everything else. He was honest with me, and now you need to do the same.”

Discord sputtered and went from one mare to the next, looking for some small bit of pity. Finding none, he eventually turned to me and yelled, “You tattled on me?”

Close to fainting, I didn’t completely comprehend the outburst.

“He told me the truth, Discord,” Twilight said. “Something he should have done earlier, actually. But what you’ve done to him is both terrible and unnecessary. Sombra has done nothing to deserve it.”

Discord snapped himself from under Luna’s grasp and stormed towards the five of them.

He sobbed out, “But he’s trying to take you away from me! Can’t you see that? Once he gets himself under your skin, he’ll turn you all against me! I… can’t have that happen. We are all friends! We will always be friends!” He pointed a claw at me. “He is trouble! All he thinks about is blood and death and destruction! This little act right now? This is nothing but a phase!”

Twilight glared at him. “You’re only digging yourself deeper, Discord. Considering what you’ve just tried to do, and the damages to the town, we should be coming down a lot harder on you than we are. But right now, you need to stop lying.” She sighed. “We can forgive you for this—we all can—because I think I understand why you’re feeling the way you are. You’re afraid we’re not all as good of friends as you’d like, and I guess maybe that’s not completely wrong. But none of that has to do with Sombra. He’s not the reason for it.”

Discord crossed his arms and shut his eyes. “Then I accept your apology, Twilight. A little late, but I will take it anyways. As well as the rest of yours.”

Rainbow Dash shot him a glare and mumbled, “You can shove my forgiveness…”

He pointed a finger in the air. “But that still doesn’t solve everything. I want Sombra gone. I want him out of town. Clearly he’s having a bad influence on me, and since I was here first, he needs to go. It’s only fair. Everyone say your goodbyes, and then I’ll snap him—”

“That’s not how this works, Discord!” Twilight shouted. “You are hanging by the narrowest of threads right now, and the one thing I need to make sure happens right now, is that the two of you forgive each other and get along.” She pointed a shaking hoof to the nearest scorched building. “Look at what the last little argument between the two of you did!”

Discord turned a few shades paler and said nothing. He turned to scowl at me.

Twilight said, “Sombra, say that you forgive him.”

I said bluntly, “He tried to kill me, Twilight. Twice.”

“Sombra… please?”

Since I had no fingers to cross, I only hoped a few of my shattered ribs had lapped over the others since being broken and shattered. I mumbled, “You are forgiven, Discord.”

It looked as though my words did little to sooth the draconequus.

Twilight said, “Your turn, Discord.”

“Well… I don’t…” Discord hesitated and ran a hand along his narrow head. “I don’t think…” He curled both hands into fists by his sides. “No! I won’t! He’s doing it all over again and you’re all too stupid to see it! He wants you all to himself and he won’t stop until I’m gone! And if you’re all that stupid then maybe I don’t want to be your friends anymore! Not with him here!”

He wavered in place as his mouth trembled, as the knowledge of what he’d just said took hold. I should have pitied the poor creature at the time—not leaping for the rope that had been so graciously thrown to him, but strangling on it. Yet again, I’m reminded of an old saying of mine: I really don’t like Discord.

Twilight asked him, “Discord, what are you saying?”

He huffed out angrily. “I’m saying I don’t need any of you! I’ve lived thousands of years alone and I can do so again! If you refuse to get rid of him, then that’s the way it’ll be!” He snapped his fingers and a bright yellow shirt appeared over his chest. Around his back he held a burlap sack filled with some small moving object. “All I need is my extra shirt and my Fluttershy and then I’ll leave you all alone.”

Rarity screamed, “Get her out of there!”

Twilight illuminated her horn and the sack popped to the ground next to her. The wriggling bag asked, “I don’t mean to be a bother to anyone, but why am I in a sack?”

Discord looked on the verge of tears. “Fine! No one, then! Go ahead and enjoy life without me! See just how boring it all is!”

Rainbow whispered to Applejack, “Fat chance of that.”

Applejack turned to her. “Now, that’s not nice, Rainbow.”

Lightheaded and weary, I couldn’t understand how everything had come to this. The battle of blood was over and now the battle of words was coming to a close. It should have all ended in hugs and merriment. Instead, Discord was forcing himself from the group, all because I had remained their friend. He was so afraid of the slightest change to his thinly-held group of friends, he was unknowingly destroying it for himself.

I told him, “You’re making a mistake, Discord. Take their offer. Apologize and forgive.” I contemplated my next thought. “We don’t always need to be enemies. In time, we could be friends.”

He barred a fang at me. “I think that rowboat has sunk, Sombra. But I will leave you all with one last thing to contemplate about.” He turned to Twilight. “He tried to kill me, too, you know. Right after promising he would never murder again. Makes you wonder what other promises he’s willing to break just as easily.” He brought his fingers up. “Goodbye.”

Still in the sack, Fluttershy said, “Discord, wait!”

He was already gone.

Twilight faced me, her image blurry and faint. “Was what he said true, Sombra? Did you try and kill him after everything I’d said?”

“Twilight… you… you need to understand…” I didn’t have enough air to go on. My chest heaved one last time and I suffocated on saliva and blood. The pain was too much, and my legs had no more strength left to give. Twilight faded to white and I collapsed to the ground.

Chapter 19: Regarding White Rooms and Nighttime Mares

REGARDING WHITE ROOMS

I smelled fresh flowers and antiseptic, some dried blood still clinging desperately to the inside of one of my nostrils. My torso had been heavily wrapped in gauze and several types of thick creams and cooling gels had been applied liberally to all of my burns. A thick pillow rested behind me and the bed’s thin covers had been pulled up to my chest.

These were all things I had noticed before opening my eyes, but what I was most interested in was whose leg was wrapped around my neck.

I cracked open a single eye and closed it immediately. The room I had been placed in was too white and sterile and its overabundance of light made my eyes want to water. A gentle breeze silently blew in through the open window, tugging at the parted curtains.

Once my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I carefully turned my sniff neck to see who I was sharing a bed with. It was a pleasant surprise.

“Twilight?” I mumbled, my dry throat making the sound nearly inaudible.

Her small head pressed into the crook of my neck, eyes closed and peacefully sleeping. She kept her legs well away from my numerous injuries.

When I first came to, I had wanted to get up and exit the horribly silent room as hastily as I could. Only now did I feel I could stay still for a time.

Once I dealt with one small issue.

Spike the Less Annoying Dragon sat in a visitor’s chair against the wall, propped up on a claw, snoozing hard enough for a snot bubble to adhere to his nose. Grimacing from the strain on my already pained head, I used my horn to force his chair first to the open doorway and then out into the hall. Once a safe distance away, I shut the door and spun the lock.

Twilight stirred from the noise. “Oh… oh crap.” Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she blushed and awkwardly shuffled off the thin hospital bed, plopping down on a nearby chair. She ran a hoof through her mane, straightening a few wayward strands. “Sombra, you’re awake. I… didn’t mean to fall asleep like that—I’ve just been here for so long already, and—”

I sat up, wincing at the fresh pain in my torso. “You didn’t have to get up, Twilight.”

She couldn’t even look me in the eyes. “The fact that I was in your bed was irregular enough, Sombra. You were only shivering in your sleep, is all. I asked for more blankets a while ago, but I think they’ve forgotten I asked.”

“You should remind them you’re a Princess.”

She waved a hoof at me. “I’ve never been one to wave around a title. Unlike some.”

I smiled, happy despite the throbbing ache in my head and the mild pain in most joints. I took a moment to glance around the room. Three thin tables encircled the room; each one held dozens upon dozens of bouquets of flowers and baskets of candies. Small stacks of cards were piled next to them where there was excess room, although more than a few had already spilled to the floor. There must have been hundreds of them. There was even a third chair on the other side of my bed, occupied by a life-sized stuffed Pinkie Pie. I turned my head from side to side and was alarmed to find its eyes seemed to follow me wherever I went. In one hoof it held a helium balloon with the message, “Get Well Soon!”

I tried to ignore the overwhelming smell of chocolate and roses.

“Whose room did I steal?”

Twilight leaned forward on her chair. “What do you mean? This is your room. You’ve been here for five days now.”

I motioned to the assortment of gifts. “Then why is all this here?”

She appeared surprised by my question, and a little pained. “Sombra, you remember what happened with the dragon, don’t you?”

“Yes. It scorched the town and then left. Along with Discord.”

Twilight paused. “Well, I guess that’s one way of putting it, yes, but don’t you realize that that dragon never would have left if it wasn’t for you?”

I wasn’t sure where this was going. “Someone would have dealt with it in time.”

She shook her head. “But they didn’t—you did. And you suffered tremendously for it. But in the end it was you who saved Ponyville. Don’t you understand, Sombra?” She held a hoof to one of the overflowing tables. “That’s what all this is. It’s a thank you from everyone—practically everypony in town.”

I lazily scooped up an open card on my bedside table. On the cover it had a filly with a bandage around its head sitting at the bottom of a slide. I opened it and found it had come from the Cake family. Its short message read: “After careful consideration, I’ve decided against pressing charges for that foal incident. That doesn’t mean you’re not still banned from Sugarcube Corner. Feel better.”

“How sweet,” I mumbled indifferently, before setting the card back. I still felt uneasy about it all. I turned to Twilight. “So once again, I almost die and suddenly everyone wants to be my friend. I’m started to detect a pattern.”

Twilight chewed on something sour. “I wish you wouldn’t put it like that.”

I collapsed onto my pillow, itchy and uncomfortable in my wrappings. I turned away from her. “I suppose you’ll want to talk about what Discord said.”

A wave of tension seeped into the room.

“We… can talk about that later, Sombra,” she said. “Right now, there’s actually something I need to show you. You might not like it, but a lot of ponies have spent a lot of time setting it up. They were all just waiting for you to wake up.”

I thought bitterly, When was the last time I got to do something that I actually liked? Then I answered myself: one-thousand years ago.

I turned my head to her. “Tell me it’s not another dragon.”

She smiled. “It’s not. But you might wish it was.”

REGARDING KEYS

With her horn, Twilight pushed the back of a wheelchair she had effortlessly coaxed me into sitting in. A moment before that, some nurse with a pink mane and the bedside manner of a stick ordered me to wear some frilly hospital gown that covered my stomach and left most everything else hanging in the breeze. I was so confused whether to feel naked or not, living in a world of completely exposed ponies. Who in Tartarus thought of these rules?

As we approached the entrance to the hospital, I first heard the murmuring of hundreds of others. The bright sun hit the hospital windows and cast the shadows of eagerly awaiting citizens. They sounded happy—too happy.

I turned back in my chair. “I don’t want to do this, Twilight.”

She didn’t stop pushing. “Just smile and wave, Sombra. It’ll be over before you know it. And maybe you’ll remember all this next time you decide to take down a dragon all by yourself.”

Someone from outside pulled the doors open as we arrived, and I shielded my eyes from the blinding rays. Next came the joyful cheer of hundreds of gatherers, whooping and hollering as if I was about to give them all something for free. It was then I was reminded Ponyville specialized in two types of events: disasters, and absolutely any excuse to leave the house.

“We love you, Sombra!”

Some mare leapt above the throng of ponies and waved her legs insanely in the air. At her sudden wave of elation, I lowered in my seat and murmured, “I don’t even know you.”

A half-dozen guards flanked a thin path to a ready-made stage on the lawn. Try as they might to quell the large mass, more than a dozen eager watchers managed to push through and personally gave me their gratitude for saving their ramshackle town. If only they knew I had unknowingly also been the reason for it…

Some light-green stallion followed my chair. “I’m so sorry I spit in your coffee before! That was when I heard you were a huge jerk that killed ponies for fun, but now coffee’s on the house!”

As pleased as I was about my increased free coffee supply, I could have done without the never-ending armada of hug-happy guests. One after the other, they nimbly trotted past the guards, wrapping themselves around me as I tried to escape my chair. Ribs still fresh from being crushed into dust, I merely grumbled, “Ow,” until they let go.

Twilight stuck her head around my chair. “Isn’t it nice to be loved by everyone, Sombra?” Clearly, she was enjoying every minute of my suffering.

“Knowing me, I’ll get them all to hate me again before the day is through.”

An older mare shot towards me, a leg wrapped around a pleasantly sleeping filly. “Kiss my baby, Sombra!” is what she said, although due to the roar of the crowd, I heard something far different.

I surprised her with a giggle. “Oh, I better not. Too many ponies around, I’m afraid.”

Her enthusiasm died as I rolled past her.

Twilight asked, “Why wouldn’t you give that cute little filly a kiss?”

“Kiss? Oh! I heard something completely different.” I ran a hoof across my moist brow. “Wouldn’t that have made for a terrible mistake?”

Twilight’s eyes widened as she shoved me faster to the stage. Once there, I was allowed to stand again as I took position next to the ruler of Ponyville—or the mayor, or whatever they’d called it. A sharp wind swept across the front lawn, plainly exposing my backside. Oddly enough, I wasn’t even mad. It seemed I had grown accustom to being the joke of the universe.

“Greetings, everyone!” the mayor began, visibly happy despite her declining approval ratings. (I had skimmed Twilight’s newspaper the morning of the dragon attack.) “I will not waste time, because I’m sure you want to hear from the stallion himself, so all I will say before we get on with it is thank you, Sombra! Through your bravery and dedication, Ponyville got through its fifteenth national emergency this calendar year, meaning that only an average of eleven remain until New Year’s. So for your efforts, I hereby award you with the key to the entire city!”

Some secondary official hoofed over a large golden key the size of my leg and I held it to my side awkwardly. When the cheers and stomps dried up a few moments later, the mayor ushered me over to the podium and live microphone.

On rubbery knees I went, throat parched and all at once, missing my hospital bed. I had made speeches in the past—thousands, probably. Only this time ponies wanted to hear what I had to say. What an odd concept.

I said meekly, “Hello…”

“Hello, Sombra!” they yelled in return.

I was back in rehab all over again.

“I know…” I started, pondering what possibly to say to every beaming face. “I know your homes have been destroyed. I know many of you are forced to live with others and rebuild once bright and successful lives. I know you may find the task too much to bear or may wish for some simpler solution. I know you must now live in fear of the very real prospect of that same dragon returning and devouring everything it wants. I know your dreams must be haunted by recurring images of fire and blood and carnage. I know you must be suffering even more than I am right now. I know you must be thinking a lot of dark and depressing thoughts right this very moment. So because of this, I will let you in on one very important fact that you should take with you and remember always. And that is to stop hugging me. Stop it right now.”

I held up my new golden key for all to see. “And one last thing, before I forget. I solemnly promise to use this key for good and not evil, and not to break into to all your homes should the urge strike me in the middle of night. Thank you.”

While crossing the stage to the stairs, I tipped Twilight a wink. I could tell by her shell-shocked expression I had said something wrong. Well, I had made it longer than I thought I would this time.

REGARDING NIGHTTIME MARES

It was sometime in the middle of the night and I had a visitor. Given the stringent rules of the hospital—and even the large fact that Princess Twilight Sparkle wasn’t allowed to stay past regular visiting hours—I knew this certain visitor wasn’t one I’d want to see.

Also, I knew for a fact that they were dead.

“Greetings, my King.”

I sat up in bed, the weeks of recovering there turning all my pains into dull aches and my limbs and muscles weak and soft. I rubbed at my eyes more than once from the sight.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I said, before rethinking. “You can’t be here. You’re dead.”

The stallion raised his detached head with one leg, grinning at me with most of his teeth. Twinkling bits of silver shimmered in his coat and I found no blood on him. It would have dried some time ago.

He told me softly, “I know that as well as you do, my King. I’m only here because of you. My spirit is long gone from this world and the only one controlling this illusion is you. You must want me here. That is all there is to it.”

I shook my head. “No matter the reason, I want you gone. You are a relic from the past that I’d rather forget. I’ve… changed since then. I’ve helped others. I’m different now.”

His decapitated head chuckled. “That doesn’t give you the right to ignore those you’ve wronged, my King. Was that what all my life was leading towards, to become some bad memory to be forgotten once you’ve deemed it should be?”

I spat at him, “You stole from the King! You got what you deserved!”

He turned his eyes to the floor. “I stole food from your stocks a single time to feed my family. There was no warning, there was no second chance. I died that same day and my family followed close behind when they had no means to support them. I’m sure I could have stolen from some weaker slave or simply murdered them for all they had—I could have gotten away with it, too. But that was not the pony I wanted to be. And because of that, I died. We all did.”

In the face of one of my dead subjects, I wanted to berate the poor fool—I wanted to conjure up every last ghost of my old self and tell him exactly what a King would say. But I couldn’t find the strength to do so.

I said, “Leave me alone. I don’t want to hear anymore.”

“Obviously you do, my King, otherwise I’d be gone already.” He slipped his head back onto his neck off-kilter, crossing to the side of my bed. “You may have convinced yourself that you have changed. You may have convinced others, as well. But no matter how deep you bury your past, it will remain as ingrained as ever. You have hurt too many. You have destroyed too much. Are you truly deserving of peace and happiness after all that you’ve done?”

I could hardly look into his sunken eyes. “Yes, I am. I wasn’t in control back then. It’s not my fault. I didn’t ask to be this way! Not forever!”

He turned his head from side to side with a hoof and pointed at my horn. “You cannot blame everything on that, my King. You asked for it—you searched for it—and now it’s yours, forever and always. And now you must live with it, as you must live with every horrid thing you’ve done.” He held out a leg to the tables of cards and gifts.

He whispered, “You don’t deserve this. You should have stayed dead.”

I shut my eyes, unwilling to view him anymore. “Go away!” I yelled.

I opened my eyes to find my room empty again, a deep blue shine cast by the window near my bed. I slowed my rapid breathing and tried to quell my hammering heart. Sleep would be hard to find again, I knew.

Then someone tapped against my window.

“Your dreams have become troubling, Sombra. Do you wish to speak of them?”

Princess Luna and I strolled along the outside of the hospital, enjoying the serene silence of the night and the soft breeze that ruffled against the nearby trees. Once I turned and found her outside my room, I awkwardly shuffled outside, happy to be away from the place. I’d occupied it for too long already. Although I had a feeling our conversation that night might not be as pleasant as I would want.

“I…” I began, before something else pulled at me. “Why are you looking into my dreams? I don’t believe you have any business there.”

Luna disagreed. “You would be incorrect, then. I control all dreams and it is my duty to see over them. It only happens that I view yours more often than I should, even if they are more somber than most.”

I ignored the play on words. “So you viewed the one tonight?”

“Yes.”

I hesitated, both wanting and not wanting an answer to my question. “So, do you think they’re right? Do I not deserve to be happy, after everything I’ve done?”

She stopped to look at me. “There was no pony speaking to you, Sombra. What it told you was what you wanted to hear, for better or for worse. These are clearly thoughts you’ve had, but haven’t had the willingness to address. It is a question asked by you and directed to you, and you can have the answer.”

I stared at her blankly. “That doesn’t help, Luna. I wanted an answer from you.”

She shook her head. “You will not receive one. You must make up your mind on the subject. Only you.”

I sighed. “It’s times like these you remind me an awful lot of your sister: vague and unclear. You’re both lucky Twilight’s clever enough to see through all your garbled messages.”

Luna turned to stare at her starry sky, a small smile on her face. “You believe my sister would be asleep by this time?”

I furrowed my brows. “What? How would I know? Probably, I guess.”

She continued to watch the sky. “I know she is. She sleeps soundly, most nights. She rises to greet the day like clockwork and returns to the realm of dreams the same. She is also a very sound sleeper.”

“I… umm…” I was becoming confused, and mildly concerned.

Luna turned back to me, focusing on my remaining bandages. “How fare your wounds, Sombra? Will you be staying here much longer?”

“A few more days, I think. More observation than anything. It’ll be good to move around again. I’m more than sick of that bed I’m in.”

“Do you believe it’s made you weak?” she asked with that damn smirk again.

“I wouldn’t say that—”

Luna cut a leg under all four of mine, toppling me to the grass. By the time I cursed from the mild pain in my chest and spun around, she was already standing over me. She had a look of satisfaction that I found alarming.

She told me casually, “So it has made you weak. And here I was looking forward to another sparring match soon.”

“Luna, what are you…”

She lowered herself to me, warm body pressed against mine. Her face was mere centimeters from me and my eyes darted in every direction but hers. Nearly resting overtop of me, she unknowingly pressed down on my wrapped chest, causing me to wince.

I squeaked out, “You’re heavy.”

My jab did little to sway the mare. “You’re not very good at this sort of thing, are you?”

I gulped. “Luna, before this goes any further, we need to talk.”

I felt her breath on my neck. “Is that not what we are doing?”

I stammered, “No, I mean, this… this isn’t right. I know before—”

She put a hoof to my lips, making my eyes widen. “Before you say anymore, I want to show you something. But you need to be still and you need to be quiet. Do you understand?”

I had really grown to hate surprises.

She nodded. “Good. Now hold tight.”

In a snap of white, we left the lawn for some blackened pit. I could feel Luna still overtop of me and something cool and hard against my back. I was instantly reminded of Canterlot.

I said, “Luna, really, we need to—”

She shushed me. “Let me find a light first, Sombra. Keep your voice down.”

A faint blue aura wrapped along her horn as a single lamp turned on in the corner of the room. Awkwardly, I turned my head to find a richly decorated space. Large, ornate tables sat against the walls, covered in dozens of scrolls and texts. Paintings hung from every wall and each window frame was lined in gold paint, as were the pillars that connected the roof with the floor. It was all very nice looking indeed, and without a doubt it must have been one of the rooms in Canterlot.

I turned back to her. “You brought me to your bedroom?”

She grinned. Not in a good way. “Close.”

With a leg, she angled my head to the side of the room I hadn’t looked over. What ate up most of the space was a four-post bed with light-blue linen. My head was forcible angled a bit further to the right until I noted the bed wasn’t empty at all.

I tried to scream, but there was a hoof already digging deep into my mouth.

Luna whispered in my ear. “You need to calm down, Sombra. It is okay.”

Nope. Actually, it wasn’t. And I could only hope my continued halted screams told her as much.

The sole occupant of the room’s lavish bed was none other than Princess Celestia, snoozing gracefully with a black eye-mask over her face, her ever-flowing mane toppled against every pillow, clearly finished for the day.

I shook my head vigorously, charging my horn to teleport away.

Luna put a hoof to it, cancelling my spell. “I would not use dark magic so close to my sister, Sombra. Such a thing could wake her in an instant.”

We both turned to the bed as Celestia rolled to her side—the one facing us. I felt on the verge of blacking out.

When my screaming became a series of shakes and hyperventilation, Luna took her now slobbery hoof from my mouth.

I told her bluntly, “Get me out of here. If you have any semblance of a soul, you will get me out of here right this moment.”

Her smile only grew. “Do you not find this exciting?” She lowered her head to my chest to whisper in my ear. “Ever since you left Canterlot, there has been such excitement in my life. Fights, clashes with dragons, Discord run rampant once more. I haven’t felt this invigorated in such a long time. And it’s all because of you, Sombra. We both live to search out that which gives our lives joy—sometimes from the test of one’s courage and fortitude.” She kissed my trembling face. “Which is why I knew for our first time together, we would need to do something far more dangerous than most.”

Not like this, I thought. It can’t end like this. There was so much more I had wanted to do—so many things I had wanted to see before I died.

I stared at the ceiling, afraid to move at all. “The only difference, Luna, is that if we’re caught, you’ll only get a stern lecture, while I’ll be castrated and killed and then brought back to life for another round. This is a bad idea. A very bad one, indeed.”

Her breath was heavy on my cheek. “Which is what makes it so appealing to me.”

A book toppled off a desk near the entrance to the room. I choked on air and felt Luna’s warmth disappear from my side. Then I heard the ruffling of covers.

“Sombra?” someone asked sleepily.

Feeling as though I were to faint, I slowly turned and found Celestia sitting up in bed and staring at me bewildered. Luna had clearly exited the room before she’d come to.

The first thought that came to my mind was pretending to be a rug. The only glaring issue with that plan was that I was far too good looking to be stepped on. Instead, I went with something more childish.

I said, “No?”

Celestia edged to the side of her bed, carrying her covers with her. “So it’s true. I had always thought—okay, hoped might be the more apt term—that this was the case, but now it all seems clear.”

And to think, I never had the chance to tell my soft bits how much I would miss them.

She exited her bed and smiled warmly. “We had both pretended to hate each other for so long, but to think, in the end it was all an act. I must have always had feelings for you, Sombra. Maybe that’s why I brought you back like I did. Hoping… wishing you’d see something in me that you’d like.” She smiled. “Now I find you sneaking in here in the early hours of the day… you’ve never been the subtle type.”

I had come back to this life naïve. I should have known there were always worse fates than death.

“Come here, my dark chocolate sweetie.”

In a powerful aura, I was scooped from the floor and placed beside her. Her face came closer to mine as something warm and acidic attempted to climb back up my throat. I hoped Celestia enjoyed the taste of vomit.

“I believe you have had enough for one night.”

Luna’s voice echoed off the walls as they tumbled to the ground around me. The bed I sat on melted to the floor as Celestia vanished in a puff of white dust. The room I occupied disappeared into a blackened void and soon I felt the moist prickles of grass on my back.

I opened my eyes and stared at the sky. I was outside the hospital again, my body drenched and my limbs tense. Luna sat to the side of me, head down with a forlorn expression.

She said, “That was petty of me, I know. But I will not apologize, because I do not believe you would do the same for me.”

I sucked back the cool night air, both relieved and concerned. “That was all a dream?”

“Yes.”

I shivered. “Why would you do that to me? That was horrible.”

“I hope you are referring to the part with my sister.”

I kept silent.

Luna exhaled and ran a leg across the grass. “While you were in recovery, I spoke with Twilight Sparkle. It seemed the pair of you had been getting along much better than I had thought.”

I perked up at this. “What did she say?”

“I will not divulge what she told me, Sombra, I will only say that the look in her eyes when speaking of you told me all I needed to know. There is something between you two, it is clear. At the moment, it is not concrete and I believe it to be a fragile thing, but it is there nonetheless.” She said dourly, “What you’d been searching for all this time, I believe.”

As good as I wanted to feel given that Twilight had spoken positively about me, I knew I had to defuse the situation as gently as possible.

I asked, “Then why give me those dreams, Luna?”

“Because you knew I had feelings for you, and all that time you could have told me I would never receive any in return. You have fallen for Twilight and it seems as though she may do the same. I will not lie and try to deny my bitterness or jealousy, I only do not like being strung along.”

I told her honestly, “Truthfully, I had no idea I was doing such a thing. Events have… been more than odd than I could have possibly imagined since I’ve left Canterlot. But since we seem to be speaking openly now, I want to know why you’d even have an interest in me in the first place.”

She smiled thinly. “You think you are unworthy of affection?”

“Only curious.”

Luna thought for a moment. “I will admit, my interest for you only came after you had left the castle. Before then, you were some pest that wouldn’t leave and the moment you did, you became something else. Truthfully, I see a bit of me in you. You and I had darkness in our past and we overcame it. We are both not of this time and our understandings of it can only improve. We both love the art of combat and the ways of old.” She paused, before adding quietly, “And perhaps the thought of having someone that would never grow old like everyone else placed you in a warmer light than before.”

I wanted to console her—wrap her in my legs and tell her how sorry I was. But that wasn’t the message I had to leave her with that night.

I said, “Then I’m sorry it’s come to this. Only know I did not mean to hurt you or lead you on. The feelings of others are still something I am growing accustomed to. But know that I will always consider you my friend.”

Luna laughed softly. “First I am labeled ‘heavy’ and then a ‘friend.’ I truly don’t know how much more of this relationship I can take.” She stared at me earnestly. “Now answer my question, as selfish as it is. Why her and not me?”

In my head, I went over all my time spent in Canterlot. It didn’t take me long to come away with my answer.

I told her, “Because she believed in me from the very beginning. While you turned your head away from me as I re-entered this world, Twilight stood beside me and took every bit of negativity I could give. She made me feel wanted in this new world and in turn I only wanted to be near to her. Before I left that castle, you had hardly cared whether at all I succeeded or went back into the blackened abyss. Only when I was free and had my powers back did I become something you longed for, perhaps as the means to fill a void. And that is one thing I can’t be for you.”

Luna nodded. “You are correct, Sombra. When you first came to Canterlot, I was merely waiting for you to turn or to escape. The thought of you changing for the better seemed impossible.”

“And have I?”

She glanced me over. “A bit. In a good way.” She smiled again. “At least I’ll always have the memory of when I stabbed you with my horn.”

I winced. “I wish you’d remember me with something a bit nicer.”

“Maybe when I feel a little more myself.”

Luna plucked herself from the grass and outstretched her wings. She watched the sky again before turning back. “Until next time, Sombra.”

I stood up next to her. “When will that be?”

“When my nights are again in peril, I would assume. Try your best not to die before I see you again.”

Effortlessly, she flapped into the air and over the hospital roof, not appearing in much of a hurry at all. I think she needed time to ponder and fly.

Trotting back to my bedroom window, I contemplated what sort of disaster would bring the pair of us together again, and if such an event could ever be worth it.

Chapter 20: Regarding Manners and Unwanted Guests

REGARDING CHANGES

The morning following my conversation with Luna, I was released from the hospital. Since I had no means of carrying every gift I had been given nor could I possibly eat every piece of chocolate without first dying, I told the staff to give it to whoever needed it most. On my way out, more than a few nurses and doctors attempted to wrap me up for one last embrace. Thankfully, by that point, I had regained much of my strenght and kept them away from me with a thick shield.

Stepping outside, I was happy to see who was there to greet me.

“You’re looking better.”

Twilight Sparkle smiled at me and I returned the gesture.

“Considering I’m in fewer pieces than before, I would agree with that. What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to pick you up.”

“Why? I’m capable of walking.”

By her downcast look, I knew I should have tried to read between the lines before speaking. Only problem was, I was terrible at most everything involving basic emotions.

I said, “I mean… am I not still living with Fluttershy?”

She rubbed a hoof into the ground. “You could. I’m sure she wouldn’t object to you staying there again, but…”

“Discord?”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “She’s still sad about him leaving and saying all those things. I know she wants him back and I really don’t know what to tell her. I know you wouldn’t say anything to upset her, but I think you might just remind her of him.”

I said thickly, “Please don’t tell me you think Discord and I bear any resemblance.”

She shook her head. “No, Sombra, not like that. More that you both used to be bad and are recovering from it. While I don’t think Fluttershy would say anything like that—she’d be too shy to say how she really felt—I think it’d be better if you gave her some space.”

I nodded. As much as I had enjoyed spending time with Fluttershy along with her easygoing mannerisms, I didn’t want to damage our relationship if I could. That still left one giant question in the air.

“So where will I stay? I really don’t want to stay in Applejack’s barn.”

Twilight grew red in the face. “Well, I was thinking you could stay with me.”

“Oh?” I grinned, perhaps a bit too wide.

“In one of my spare bedrooms.”

“Oh.”

Twilight said hurriedly, “I mean, only if you want to. I just thought it made sense since it would keep you closer to town, and I know practically everyone in Ponyville will be needing help over the next little while, considering that whole dragon incident.”

I thought for a moment. “I’m still helping around town?”

She smirked. “You thought saving the town once gave you a free pass? Maybe after ten. Plus, you still don’t have a job or any income.”

“I didn’t know I was looking for a job. What would I be good at? I’m good at ruling, anyone could tell you that… although most of my references would be dead.” Then a candle lit up in my brain. “I know, Twilight, I could be the next ruler of Ponyville!”

“Mayor.”

“Okay, the next ‘mayor’ of Ponyville!”

Twilight put a hoof to her temple. “That’s a bad idea, Sombra.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re not ruthless enough for politics.”

REGARDING MANNERS

“I don’t like this, Twilight. I’m uncomfortable and itchy and I don’t want to be here.”

Twilight pursed her lips. “It’s amazing how childish you can be, given the fact you’re over a thousand years old.”

I shut my mouth, though internally I continued to whine and complain. It was all I had going for me at the moment.

I gulped dryly and followed close behind her, the suit jacket I had donned for the evening feeling as if it were strangling me. Having gone so long without clothes, the fabric clinging tight to my body felt claustrophobic and just plain terrible. Or maybe I only felt that way because of who I’d be spending the next few hours with.

We stopped outside a large set of white doors and waited to enter. Two guards holding spears stood idle beside us.

I shuffled nervously from side to side. “Why can’t you tell them I’m sick? Or better yet, why can’t we get food somewhere else and go back to your castle?”

“Because that’s not good manners, Sombra. And because the only reason we’re here at all is because of how you handled that dragon. Cheer up. Remember, this is a reward.”

I wanted to explain to her the difference between rewards and punishments, but decided to silently pout instead. Twilight would be my only saving grace that night, so I’d better try my best not to annoy her.

Twilight turned to me, her hair done up in an array of hoops and curving waves. “How do I look?”

A few evenings prior, Rarity had outfitted her with a dress of varying textures and colors. I couldn’t explain dresses back at the Gala and I haven’t bothered to learn since. But I do know what looks good to me and what doesn’t.

I spent a moment taking her in. “You look beautiful, Twilight, but that’s something I’ve always thought, with or without a dress on.”

Twilight smiled. “I think you look nice, too. Although I wish you’d have let Rarity fix you up with something with a bit more color. Remember, you’re supposed to be showing everyone that you’ve changed since your old days.”

“But black matches my coat. And from what I hear, it’s slimming.”

From a small murmur on the other side of the doors, Twilight spun around and regained her composure. “You know what else would be slimming? If you ate fewer cookies at night.”

And here I thought I’d been sneaky during my midnight treks. “I never said I was perfect. We all have our vices that get us through the day.”

She giggled. “Okay. So if you can make it through tonight without embarrassing yourself or starting a war, you can have all the cookies you want.”

I scoffed. “I’m not one of your little magic-class attendees, Twilight. You can’t just buy me off like that.”

“We’ll see.”

The doors in front of us parted open and the golden light from the larger room’s many chandeliers enveloped us instantly. I had felt better talking with Twilight, but now my unease came back in force. It was like a surgeon had grabbed my innards and given them a spin.

As we entered the lavish dining room and found our place by the table, a guard standing next to the door read from a levitating scroll, announcing each guest.

“Princess Celestia, ruler of all of Equestria and controller of the sun! Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, ruler of the Crystal Empire and Princess of Love! Prince Shining Armor, ruler of the Crystal Empire and Captain of the Royal Guard! Princess Twilight Sparkle, ruler of the Friendship Rainbow Kingdom and Princess of Friendship! And…”

He flipped the scroll around, searching for any hidden text.

“…Sombra.”

I put a hoof to my head and grunted my disgust. They honestly couldn’t have read my name first?

Celestia stood at the head of the table, sly smirk always the ready. She nodded to each of us in turn. “Thank you all for coming. Please, be seated.”

I watched Shining Armor pull out Cadence’s chair before she sat down. By the way he kept his head lowered, it seemed as though he were trying to ignore the fact I was alive at all.

“Allow me, Twilight.”

I sidled up beside her and pulled out her chair. A tad bemused, Twilight took the offer and shuffled to the table. Closest to Celestia sat Twilight, opposite of Cadence, meaning the space in front of me was taken by Shining.

As I took my seat and neatly rearranged my silverware to my liking, I noted Shining fixing me with a curious expression. His eyes darted from mine to Twilight’s in rapid succession. Suddenly, I smelled the mild aroma of fear in the room.

Twilight hadn’t mentioned a word of me to Big Brother Best Friend, had she?

I gave him my friendship face. It didn’t seem to be in working order.

As Celestia spoke, a servant came around to fill every glass with wine. “So tell us, Sombra. How was it you were able to best that dragon in Ponyville? I hear it was quite the ordeal.”

I leaned back in my chair, levitating my cup to me. If I had to sit here and pretend to enjoy the company of three idiots with too many titles to their names, I might as well be drunk while doing so. “It was nothing, really. I had an idea to drop a rock on its head and that was enough to make it leave.”

Shining cut in, “You could have tried reasoning with it, you know, instead of moving straight to violence. Although I’m not surprised, given who I’m talking to.”

Cadence nudged him in the side. “Be nice, Shining. He saved a lot of ponies’ lives doing what he did.”

I finished half my glass. “Well, I can’t take all the credit. Twilight and her friends helped tremendously, as well.” I placed my hoof overtop Twilight’s on the table.

Noticing the gesture, Shining choked on his wine. “So how do we know it wasn’t you that brought that dragon into town?”

I laughed. “I think if I had set all that into motion, it would have ended better than a three week stay in hospital. And unlike most, I don’t go out of my way to seek the approval of everyone possible.”

Another servant came around to place a fresh garden salad on each plate. By this point I knew better than to ask if this was the salad portion of the evening or the main course. Knowing the limitations of vegetables, they’d both be close to the same.

Cadence nibbled on a carrot. “Well, I think what you did was very brave, Sombra. And from what Twilight’s been telling me, you’ve improved tremendously since I last saw you.”

“That’s very nice of you to say, Cadence.”

Shining turned to her, “Since when did you and Twilight become pen pals? You never told me about that.”

“It’s nothing, Shining. Only girl talk.”

“What kind of girl talk?”

“You know I can’t tell you that. That’s something that’s strictly between Twilight and I.”

Shining turned to me slowly, his curiosity replaced with rising anxiety. I rubbed Twilight’s leg on the table and felt the tension in the room expand to fill each and every inch of space.

When Twilight noticed her brother’s glare, she pulled her leg out from mine.

That was all right. The hook had been sunk. Now I only needed to pull back the line.

I asked him, “How fares my old kingdom, Shining? Do you find the stress of ruling an entire Empire taxing?”

Shining settled down and focused on his food. “There has been nothing but peace and prosperity since you left. Ponies are happy again, and the Empire is doing very well under our combined leadership.”

I turned to Cadence. “Is that true?”

She nodded. “More or less. Most of our city’s income comes from tourism, though. A lot of ponies are still interested in visiting a thousand year old lost city.”

“Well, I for one would love to pay it a visit again.”

Cadence stared at her salad. “I… don’t think our subjects would be ready for that yet.”

Shining leaned across the table. “I would never let you set a single hoof back inside the Crystal Empire.”

“I don’t think you could stop me if you wanted to. I’ve been pardoned of my past crimes, remember?”

Shining sat back down, silently simmering.

Cadence, meanwhile, seemed completely unaware. “Sombra, I had always wanted to ask, what would you have done if you weren’t defeated by all of us all those years ago?”

Twilight tensed. “I don’t think that’s a good dinner topic, Cadence.”

I waved a hoof. “It’s fine, Twilight. It’s also something I think about from time to time.” I paused. “I guess it would have been business as usual, mostly. Crystals and slaves and all that fun stuff.”

Cadence nodded, clearly invested. “And what would you have done with all of us?” She giggled. “I can just imagine it: rusty cells and watery gruel, Shining and I consoling each other in bleak and utter despair, using the love between us to see us through our plight.”

I shook my head and chuckled. “Oh, no. Nothing like that, I’m afraid. Painful torture followed by a very drawn-out public execution. That’s what would have happened to you. Wouldn’t want slaves thinking they could—”

I looked under my chair and found one of Twilight’s legs painfully ramming into mine.

“Why are you kicking me? Was there a spider on my leg?”

Twilight shut her eyes. “Let’s talk about something else, all right?”

A few courses later and it felt as though I had told Cadence and Shining my entire history since returning from the dead. Try as I might to seem less ancient and moronic than I was, anytime I slipped away from the truth, Twilight chirped in to remind everyone what had actually happened. It wouldn’t have been so bad, really, except every time I mentioned one of my painful deaths or close calls, Shining would snort and laugh until food particles sprayed all over the table. By Cadence’s less enthused reaction to her husband’s display, I had a feeling Shining wouldn’t be seeing the “Love” portion of her title for some time.

I watched Celestia for a moment, carefully hovering a half-empty wine glass near her head. It looked as though she was enjoying the company.

I said to her, “I’m surprised Princess Luna is not here with us, Celestia. I can only assume it is due to her night-time duties?”

She nodded slowly. “You would be correct, Sombra. And perhaps for a few reasons more.”

A few minutes later, the main course arrived and although it was roasted and didn’t resemble a vegetable completely, one bite told me that’s all there was to it. Since I was still trying to appear polite for Twilight’s sake, I chewed it all without tasting a thing.

“Oops.”

Twilight knocked her fork from the table and I caught it before it hit the floor. I gave it back to her.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Twilight.”

I heard some excited squeak come from Cadence’s direction. Looking up, I found her head propped up on one hoof, eyes glazed over and staring at either Twilight or me. By her obnoxious smile, she must have been joyous beyond measure.

Shining caught on. “Why do you keep staring at them like that?”

Cadence clapped her hooves together gleefully. “Because it’s cute, Shining! It’s adorable!”

He grimaced. “I hope you’re referring to Twilight, dear, because that’s the only possible adorable thing on that side of the table.”

Cadence rolled her eyes. “You really need to calm down, Shining. What’s in the past is in the past.”

“Less than an hour ago, he said he’d have killed us if we hadn’t stopped him.”

“But we did stop him! And either way, I was referring to Twilight and Sombra. Aren’t they just the cutest pair?”

“What are you…” he mumbled out before becoming silent.

All eyes found Shining’s as his mind worked toward an answer he had no desire to reach. From one pony to the next, he looked, searching for anyone that could offer him some clarification. He hitched in a quick breath while I prepared myself to move, should the lantern-jawed brute suddenly charge for me.

He blinked rapidly. “You two are…”

While I grinned wickedly, Twilight blanched.

Cadence rubbed one of Shining’s shoulders. “I thought you’d be happy, Shining. Didn’t you always want Twilight to find someone?”

He said thickly, “Yes, Cadence. Someone, not something.”

Twilight pointed a leg at her brother. “Now, let’s not say anything we’ll regret later, okay? Everyone just settle down.” She moved her leg towards Cadence. “And I never said there was anything between Sombra and I. At the moment, we’re good friends… and maybe—” She stopped and shut her eyes. “It’s nothing to get riled up about.”

I lowered in my chair, hurt from the category I had been placed in. While it was true that Twilight and I had never admitted anything to each other out in the open or had made anything official, I had thought we’d gone much further than that. Perhaps it was only because her brother was so close to boiling over.

Shining grumbled, “Whatever happened to Flash Sentry?”

“Things didn’t work out between us,” Twilight answered. “It was an unstable relationship, to say the least.”

“Last I heard he was stuck in the medical wing here. Was Sombra the cause of that?”

When no one answered his question, he exhaled loudly.

“Am I the only one that has a problem with this?” He turned to Celestia. “Celestia, please tell me you can’t agree with all this? This is insane!”

Celestia fixed him a cool stare. “I don’t need to agree with anything, Shining. What Twilight does in her personal life is none of my business, and it is none of yours. Think and act as you will, the final decision is wholly up to them.”

Shining huffed again. “Cadence, you’ve been gushing all night already. How can you possibly think Sombra and my own sister would work out?”

She said plainly, “Because he’s trying his best, Shining. He’s trying to improve. Not everyone starts off doing their best, but if we give them room to grow, why can’t they become something better? And isn’t the combination of good and ex-evil just so adorable?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s too bad, Shining. It’s not up to you.” She turned to Celestia. “You ever thought of giving Discord another chance?”

At the question, Celestia gulped loudly and set down her wine glass. She tried to smile back thinly. “Let’s try a different topic. A less invasive one, perhaps.”

Each plate that was brought before me, I stared at blankly and then chewed at until it was gone. I felt full but not sated in the least. And from the other side of the table, there was still that lingering smell of fear.

Since unveiling the possibility that a relationship could arise between Twilight and I, Shining had kept his mouth shut and his eyes focused on the space between his sister and me. I will admit he put up a good front, but he couldn’t mask every bit of his apprehension, especially when it was obviously out of his control.

Bored and listless, I wanted to do something to spice up the event, but I also didn’t want to make a scene in front of Twilight.

Then I had an idea.

Pointing my horn ever so slightly in Shining’s direction, I gave to him a small film that would be for his eyes only. The mock vision would appear so real and so clear, he would have no hope of differentiating it from the truth. It was an old technique I had used time and again to torture those beneath me—like some nightmare during the day. But I didn’t believe this one would be as messy.

As the real me ate the chocolate dessert presented to each of us, the film Sombra edged his chair closer to Twilight’s. When in range, he whispered something to her that made her giggle into a hoof. Already Shining was preparing to vacate his seat.

“Twilight? What is he saying? Stop giggling at whatever he’s saying!”

The film Sombra flashed him a quick glance and then returned back to Twilight, where he smoothly pulled her in close to kiss along her neck. Shining shoved his chair aside to stand by the table.

“Get away from her right this minute!” he yelled, in his standard authoritative voice.

In the real world, devoid of horny Sombras, I stared at him casually, as did everyone else at the table. I turned to Cadence. “I think your husband has cracked.”

She tried to tug on one of his legs. “He’s usually a lot gentler than this.”

Back in Shining’s vision, Sombra finished his business along Twilight’s neck and upended a few of her utensils onto the floor. Pulling out his chair, he brought the table linen up and prepared to kneel.

Shining asked loudly, “Now what are you doing?”

The other Sombra paused for a moment. “Some of Twilight’s silverware has fallen to the floor—right below her chair, if I’m not mistaken. Give me a moment and I’ll fetch it for her.” By the slight smirk I gave my other self, Shining must have thought he had something completely different on the mind.

He said sternly, “Don’t you dare.”

“But I do dare.”

That was when the other Sombra disappeared under the table.

In the real world, all four guests watched in muted shock as Shining dived under his side of the table, roughly clipping his horn as he went. Since I had stopped the spell the moment he pounced, he came to a halt the moment he found no trace of Sombra to destroy.

“Cadence?” he said quietly, still hidden under the table.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“I think I’m ready to call it a night.”

“That sounds good, Shining. Now please come out from there.”

Feeling satisfied, I gulped my latest glass of wine and watched the reddened stallion reappear and glance to each of us perplexed. I knew he wanted to say more, but thought another day might prove better. With any luck, I wouldn’t be invited to dine with the couple anytime soon.

That was when a strong magical force pulled at my head, directing me to the balcony that sat beyond a set of glass doors well behind Celestia’s chair. It was clear someone wanted to speak with me.

REGARDING UNWANTED GUESTS

“You shouldn’t be here,” I told Discord. I stepped onto the balcony and cautiously eyed up the lithe creature.

As he leaned against the stone railing, he held something fluffy and dark in one hand. “You shouldn’t be here, either. I thought your time in Canterlot was over?”

I ignored the question. “Say what you want and then go.”

He turned and held a hand out to me, displaying the object he’d been holding. It looked like some stuffed black sock with bits of paper for eyes, along with one curved red horn that might have once been part of a pepper.

He asked, “You like it? I’ve had a lot of time to myself recently, so I’ve taken up the hobby of voodoo dolls.” He set it on the railing. “This one is you. And here’s Fluttershy. And here’s Rarity. And…”

He unloaded a dozen or so figures before running out. He picked the miniature Sombra back up and held it close to me. “That’s how I was able to turn your head. Isn’t that neat?” He pushed a finger against the doll’s cheek and it felt like a whole hand was pushing against mine. It was far beyond creepy.

“Stop with your distractions, Discord, and say what you will. The fact that I’m even listening to a single word you have to say is simply foolish of me.”

He grinned. “And yet here you are. Maybe you’re just a glutton for punishment, you ever think of that?” He sighed. “Okay, then. Two words: Lu Fish.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Lu Fish. It’s a type of fish.”

I glared at him. “I’ve reasoned that out for myself, thanks. But what does that have to do with anything? I’m… forcibly a vegetarian these days.”

He giggled. “Oh, no. You don’t eat a Lu Fish. Goodness, no! You’d become paralyzed and die within minutes—which is why it’s so sought after to begin with.”

I didn’t like where this was going.

He wrapped an arm around me and I concentrated on my horn, hopeful that Twilight’s spell might actually work.

He continued, “I’ve spent the last few weeks wandering around with next to nothing to do, and during that time I’ve learned a few things from wayward travelers, including a new type of poison that only a small band of monsters use. All originating from that little fish.” He pulled at his wispy beard. “They have silently killed dozens already; the cure hard to come by and to administer in time. From what I hear, their targets have been small so far, lower ranking officials and heads of successful businesses, but I fear they will soon try something a little more dangerous.”

I shoved his paw off my shoulder. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I fear for Fluttershy, and I fear for the rest of them. The six of them have made themselves a name in this world, and there will always be some out there that will try and bring them down, however they can. I only want you to keep them safe.”

I shook my head. “You know there’s no chance I can believe a single word you tell me.”

He smiled at me faintly, eyes red and worn. I could tell he’d been crying recently. “That’s all right. Just as long as you know. The odds of it happening are more than slim, I will admit, but the chances of it happening during Twilight’s long, long life are quite possible indeed.”

I asked bluntly, “What does that mean?”

He turned his back to me to watch the stars. “Call it the price of immortality. Her five friends might live their whole lives without such an incident, but Twilight will live on forever, and a lot can happen in that time. More than you’d want, I’d imagine.”

He hitched in a breath and put a hand over his face. “Just promise me you’ll look after them, okay? I… still care about them, you know. I only have trouble showing it sometimes.”

I took a step towards him, a mix of hatred and pity in my chest. “You could still apologize, Discord. They would take you back, I’m sure. If they invited me into their lives as readily as they did, I can’t see them saying no to you if you were sincere.”

He breathed out heavily. “You’re probably right, but that is something I’m not ready for. Maybe when things have cooled down. Right now, I need some time to think and put things in perspective. I only wanted you to know what challenges you may face, becoming close friends with the Elements of Harmony.”

I licked my dry lips, odd words on my tongue. “Then I thank you for the warning, Discord. You must know I would do anything for Twilight, as well as those close to her.”

He turned his tearstained face to me. “I know you would. And that’s why you’re much better than me.” Then he brought his fingers to his face and snapped away.

“Who are you talking to, Sombra?”

Twilight entered the long balcony, glancing around for someone.

“Only to myself, Twilight. It helps me think when I need to.”

She motioned to the stone railing. “And whose ruined socks are those?”

I had nothing for that one. “I have no idea.”

She smiled at me warmly, and in that moment I knew what I told Discord to be true.

I would do anything for her.

Author's Note

Sad to say, but it looks as though we've reach another conclusion. The next chapter will be the last for this arc. But I wouldn't worry. Knowing how I ended the first part, the closing events shouldn't be dark or depressing or unsatisfying in the least. Yep. Those are sure some words there.

Chapter 21: Regarding the Price of Immortality

Chapter 21: Regarding the Price of Immortality

REGARDING THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY

The life of Twilight Sparkle was like clockwork. Each morning she rose at the same time and had the same small bowl of cereal for breakfast. Afterward, she re-checked her checklist from the previous evening and added to it whatever thoughts had cropped up overnight. Then, with mane properly shampooed and conditioned and with travel bag itemized and organized, she would leave her large castle and begin her long day of meetings and planning and whatever else a Princess of Friendship spent her time doing.

Which, to me, seemed like a lot of fluff. But that was something I planned on keeping to myself.

Tired and groggy as I was most morning (due to beds becoming far softer than they should ever be over the last thousand years), I would join Twilight each morning for black coffee and spirited conversation. The first few times I could tell she was trying to come off as more Princess-like than she normally would, but it was only a few days before she gave up the act.

That had always been the Twilight I’d wanted to be with, not that impossible image the public made out of her. And sadly, since my acting chops could be summed up by “Tree No. 4” or “Rock No. 1” in a filly’s school play, Twilight would in turn need to settle for Sombra, and nothing more.

Hopefully it would be enough.

Living with Twilight, it didn’t take long for Spike to make himself known, usually coming around to bug me once Twilight left the house and he began his daily chores. Since I was still tasked with Twilight’s services list (and because Ponyville needed more assistance than ever before), I spent most of my days around town, repairing most things those without a horn could not.

Before, I was silently shunned by everyone. Now I was popular, which meant a plethora of sneaky embraces and enough homemade sweets to cause me time and again to pass out under a tree for a nap like some overstuffed squirrel.

Since I wasted around an hour each morning drinking coffee before leaving (I had never been all that hungry in the morning), I humored Spike a single time with his chores and dusted a lone small shelf for fifty-eight minutes straight. When the sight proved too much for the poor mini-dragon, he threw his rag on the ground and stormed upstairs, mumbling something about how much easier it was cleaning their much smaller home. Much harder cleaning crystal, I’d imagined.

It was only during the night that Twilight and I actually had time to spend together. After dinner, we’d either read together in the library or discuss each others’ days.

I worked slowly and I worked smooth, and soon I went from reading on a lone seat to spreading out along the library’s lone couch, Twilight leaning against me and reading for the both of us. The first time this occurred, she told me she was cold and that I was justifiably “fluffy and warm.” Neither of these terms were ones I would have used to describe myself, but I’d put up with them if it meant I could hold her close.

While we read, I snuck her dozens of small kisses and she giggled and blushed. I felt her wings flutter and her heartbeat quicken. I told her how much I cared for her and how much she meant to me. In return, she went quiet, and I could tell she was thinking of days past. Honestly, I should have realized the fact that my being as close to her as I was a miracle in itself.

Now if only one of us would have said what was truly on our minds at the time.

I had little fear in taking things further. My only worry was scaring her away—moving too fast for her liking. Her only relationship before me had been rocky and hurtful. I wanted ours to be better, even if it was anything but orthodox.

“Well, goodnight, Sombra.”

Like a desperate puppy, I stood outside her bedroom door night after night, curious if that would be the evening she’d invite me inside. Each time, it was hard appearing both saddened and understanding when she closed the door on me.

Still, I wanted more.

REGARDING THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY CONT.

With a leg, I held open the curtain to our box seats and ushered Twilight through. She smiled and took a seat, leaning over the thin railing to view the dozens of other ponies sluggishly finding their seats down below.

She asked, “How did you get these tickets again?”

“It was a gift. I reset a whole roof for some couple on Cherry Street and they hoofed over two tickets. They didn’t even seem all that pained to give them away.”

Twilight nodded. “Sad, but I guess I can understand. Thanks for taking me with you, Sombra.”

I grinned at her. “I thought you could use a night out. And there’s no one else I’d rather spend an evening with.” I lifted her chin to kiss her cheek, and she flushed. She took one of my hooves in hers. It was first time she’d done such a thing, and I was tempted to squeal like Cadence had at that horrendous dinner weeks prior.

I squeezed Twilight’s leg. “Have you seen this show before? I met the performer a few times during rehabilitation, but her tricks always were amateur and feebleminded at best. I hope this show is better.”

Twilight grimaced. “Trixie… tries. The first show I saw of hers was called ‘Trixie the Great and Powerful.’ Then, after everyone kind of became less enthused of her antics for a while, her following show was called ‘The Great and Powerful Magician.’ And after that, just ‘Blue Magician.’ What’s this one called again?”

I glanced at my ticket stub. “Magic: the free snack extravaganza.”

Twilight nodded. “That explains why this place sold out. And why they were giving out crackers at the doors.”

A few moments later the overhead lights dimmed and the Great and Powerful Trixie made her presence known, as well as the overwhelming fact she had about four tricks in store for the evening and wasn’t about to let anyone leave until the ninety-minute close. As I heard Twilight “Oh” and “Awe” to my side—I believed out of simple pity—I tried desperately to keep my head up and my eyes focused on the show. Needless to say, I had to stab my free leg with my horn more than once to make it through. Eventually came the final trick of the night.

“Trixie will need a volunteer from the audience!”

A jerky spotlight swam over the attendees’ heads, waiting for some brave soul to trust their lives in the “talents” of the star spangled magician. I noticed Twilight put a hoof to her forehead.

“I can’t believe she’s actually trying this trick again.”

“What trick?”

“She invites someone down and puts them in an empty box. Some bits of fog and fake lightning later, they’re supposed to appear at the other side of room.”

I didn’t understand the problem. “That seems like an easy feat for any unicorn.”

Twilight glared at me for a moment.

I huffed. “Then maybe you should volunteer.”

She nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

Twilight’s leg shot into the air, still holding onto mine, and a moment later the spotlight from the rafters above blinded us both. I heard a mild gasp from the audience below.

“It’s Twilight! And she’s with Sombra!”

A few excited claps later, I whispered to her, “What do you think you’re doing?”

She grinned cruelly. “I’m volunteering, silly. I’m volunteering you. So make sure you put on a good show.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You’re going to owe me for this, you know.”

She playfully shook her head. “Considering you live in my castle and eat all my food, I don’t think I’ll owe you anything.”

I huffed out my nostrils. “Fine. If it a trick they want, then it is a trick they will get. Here’s the opening act.”

Unbeknownst to her, I tugged her leg and pulled her in for a kiss. A wave of whistles and hollers erupted from the small auditorium and when I backed away, I found a timid Twilight Sparkle wide-eyed and bewildered. It was wonderfully adorable.

“Now we’re even.”

Half a minute later, I stood in the center of the stage for all to see. Trixie the Great Snack Giver trotted nimbly around me, seeming to search for something that didn’t exist to begin with.

“Trixie wishes to know if you’re carrying anything that might ruin the magnitude of her wondrous illusions!”

I shut my eyes. “I’m naked and quite devoid of pockets.”

She shot a leg into the air. “That’s good enough for Trixie! Now, bring out… the Box of Mystery!”

As two stage-hooves brought out the Box of Mystery (by the looks of it some empty, painted refrigerator box), I shielded my eyes and searched for Twilight on the balcony. Once I found her, she gave me a small wave alongside a grin that was threatening to break loose into howling laughter.

As the cardboard box was placed over me, darkness came with it. Carefully, I lit my horn to see what sort of trick was in store.

“Now Trixie will transport our audience member to a location even Trixie is unawares! She can only hope he arrives there in one piece!” She paused for dramatic effect. “Now, silence!”

The murmur from the crowd died and I began to feel a small tug on my body. A few wispy threads of light-blue aura hovered close to me, desperately trying to usher me to some new and unknown location. The only problem was, her magic was too flimsy and too weak.

I would help.

Firstly, I cut off a sizeable chunk of my mane to separate and spread out along the floor. Secondly, I forged an elaborate illusion on the inside of the box and everywhere in-between. Then, when the moment seemed right, I teleported out while expanding a white burst of energy that first bent and then blew the box into pieces. Already, I could hear the quick inhale of air from everyone watching.

“Where’d Sombra go?”

“Oh, Celestia! She killed him!”

“There’s absolutely nothing left! You monster!”

I stood in the back of the auditorium, concealed in shadows. Gleefully, I viewed the box I had traveled from, torn apart with bits of blood and dark hair littered across the stage. A blackened circle had been burned into the spot I had been standing, and even a darkened silhouette of myself had been stained on one side of the box, as if some powerful blast of magic had vaporized every part of me.

It was a nice trick, I must admit.

Trixie stared at the ruined stage in muted horror and I was curious whether she’d try and hide in her hat again or run out the back. She stammered out, “There has been a technical malfunction, but Trixie will—”

Trixie’s hat snapped off her head and a reddish burst of light caused the crowd to shut their eyes. I appeared at the center of the stage, star-covered cap pulled snug around my mane.

Soon after, each attendee stood and stomped their approval as a fake-smiling Trixie stood next to me. “You could have warned Trixie about that.”

I smiled and waved. “What ever do you mean? It was magic, pure and simple.”

She snorted her contempt. “And you put a hole in Trixie’s hat!”

I stared upwards and found my horn piercing out the top of her trademark garment. I should have felt bad, but I thought any such annoyances would be forgotten come the following morning’s reviews.

REGARDING THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY CONT.

By the time Twilight and I returned to her castle, it was well into the early hours of the night. As we walked, Twilight did her best not to burst out laughing from the memory of me wearing Trixie’s hat. Then the image of Sombra hosting children’s parties swam into her head and she lost it completely.

Still too awake for bed, I lit her library fireplace and we sat together, watching the flickering embers and dancing flames. Twilight rested her head against my chest as she blinked heavily.

It was a beautiful scene, no doubt. But it was one I’d grown accustom to in the weeks prior. And during all that time there was still something I wanted out and over with.

I quietly asked her, “Twilight? After the dragon attack, Discord told you I tried to kill him and it was a fact I never denied. Why haven’t you brought it up again?”

Twilight shuffled against me. “Because I know that you were scared, Sombra; that you’ve never really experienced a draconequus before. Don’t think that I’ve forgotten about it completely, because I haven’t, but right now it’s not as important as it was. Since then, you’ve done better and I feel you’ve changed.” She laughed sleepily. “Okay, given what happened tonight, you might still have a few kinks to iron out, but you’re a lot better than what you were. Wouldn’t you agree?”

I hesitated. “I… do. I think so.”

Twilight hesitated. “Do you trust me, Sombra?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then I want you to be honest with me. Can you do that?”

Twilight got up and sat in the corner of the couch, a gentle nervousness on her face. I could tell it had been something she had been waiting to ask for some time.

A cold lump formed in my gut. “All right.”

Twilight rubbed one hoof against the other. “I’ve known you for months now and I feel myself growing close to you. You’re passionate and strong and you’re not afraid to let others know what you think—as often as that backfires. Considering you’ve lived with me for some time now, I’ve come to know what you do during the day and how you are when we’re together at night, and… I’ve come to like it. There’s warmth to you that I don’t think enough ponies have seen. And I think maybe it’s only taken so long to get to that place because of your past—because of all the secrets you keep to yourself. I know you, but I hardly know a thing about you.”

Suddenly, I wanted the night to be over. “What do you mean, Twilight?”

“I mean, I know the Sombra that came back from the dead and stayed in Canterlot against his will. I know of the Sombra that hung around Ponyville and won over the town by saving everyone. I know he can be funny and loving, and I know he can be dark and moody and even violent sometimes. But I also have no idea what you used to be.”

She paused for a moment.

The fire roared on.

“Weeks ago, you mentioned your family, and I know it hurt you to speak of them. I didn’t want to press it, but I feel if something were to start between us, I should be able to know who I’m growing attached to. You know all there is about me, as open as that knowledge is. Now I want you to trust me enough to let me know the real you.” She grabbed one of my hooves. “So will you do that for me?”

My jaw trembled and all at once I was somehow too tired and too awake to speak. At once I wanted to storm out of the room.

She lifted my head to her. “If we stay together, I need to know what events brought you to me. You shouldn’t let your past overwhelm you. Not when I’m here for you.”

I stared into her shimmering eyes, and that lump of cold in my chest ebbed away. At that moment, I felt more scared than when dealing with Discord, but what Twilight said held merit. If I knew everything of her, it was only fair she knew everything of me, as black as it was. Now the only trouble was how to begin a story you’ve never told anyone before.

Slowly, I began to speak:

“All my life, I’ve been jealous of others. What they have—what they’re better at than me. I’ve always wanted it, craved it. I’m envious and because of that, I’ve done horrible things. I told you I was the youngest of seven, and I believe my jealous tendencies started when I was very young. When my mother was still alive, there was enough adoration to go around to each of us. But when she died, all that was left was my father—a stallion more interested in his home than his offspring.

“His kingdom, was what he called it. His small plot of land, as barren as it was.

“My family and I were ponies of the earth and made a living through the simple task of rock farming. Everyday was the same and the only solace I could remember were the stories told to all of us each night. The ones about wishes, I liked the most.”

Twilight tried to hold a timid smile as I spoke. Already there was worry in her eyes.

“Since the oldest of my siblings were the strongest and most able-bodied to work the land, my father gave them more affection than the rest. It seemed as though all six of my siblings could do something I could not, and in return they were loved more than I. Even now, I know that not to be true—that I was only too young to discover my purpose in life—but still, I felt such jealousy and hatred for each of them. And soon, that was all I felt anymore.

“Early one morning, I saw smoke drifting from the tips of a nearby mountaintop, and I knew I had to find its source. In the stories I was told, dragons granted wishes to those that requested them—those that deserved them. So who better than me in my plight?”

I felt a lump in my throat. All those years ago, I could still remember how excited I was once I discovered the smoke. To my young mind I felt like the hero in some book.

“It took me a day and a half to reach the mouth of the cave, and once there I was too tired and too determined to feel much fear. Inside, I found a trio of dragons hundreds of times larger than me. They watched me with curiosity before laughing hard enough to spew fire onto the walls. I had thought it was a good sign.

“With surety, I told them of my wish and they passed a whisper between the three of them. They all smiled so wide; I thought they wanted to help. I was so young, so naïve. I—”

I looked away from Twilight as something warm and heavy pulsed behind both eyes. I could still picture myself, before the change. When I was so full of wonder and hope, and that things would get better for me if I tried to fix them on my own.

I eventually continued, “From under a mound of coins, they gave me a perfectly curved black stone. They told me it would grant me my wish, but with it came a price. I had heard of curses before, usually in those darker tales I tended to shy away from, but why would someone like me deserve such a fate? All I wanted to do was be better than the rest of them—something different; something that my father would notice and would love and would no longer ignore. Someone that would be remembered forever.

“In that cave I whispered to that blackened rock and the moment I stopped speaking, it cracked perfectly in half and fell from my hooves. That was all it took.

“By the time I returned home, I felt ill and my head felt on the verge of bursting. For being gone so long, I was rightfully punished. I took it all without feeling. Already, I knew something was happening to me.”

I remembered the morning I first looked into the mirror and noticed what was happening to me. I should have screamed and clawed at my face, but, instead, I was delighted by what I saw. If I knew the events that were to happen soon, would I have done something differently? Would have ended my life before there was no going back?

I told Twilight, “The color of my eyes were the first to change, and soon a small lump formed on my head. It was hard and it pained me each day, but I knew in the end it would be worth such misery. Soon, I was able to move things just by thinking about it.

“For seven days I hid my growing horn under whatever garments I could. It was easy, truthfully—no one ever noticed me before. All I had to do was wait until I was complete, and then I would show my father how much better I was than the rest of them. I knew everything would be so much better. But, as you might have expected, he took notice of me much earlier than I wanted him to.

“Instead of becoming something special, I had turned into some freak; some monster that he could hardly see without shuddering. I wanted to feel sad, but more than that, I felt angry. I had never been so angry and so full of contempt in my life as I had since receiving that horn. Unknowing what to do, I ran away from him and from that plot of land he called a kingdom, and alone in the woods I finished becoming who I’d spend the rest of my days as. And from there, I decided to bring wrath to those that hurt me.”

As I recalled each face of my departed brothers and sister, I sensed that first trickle of tears slide down my cheek. I hardly noticed, though, as my thoughts were far away and deep in memory. At first each of them were scared, as they should have been; not one of them recognized me completely. But near the end they understood. And to think I almost pitied them right before the end.

“One by one, I coaxed my siblings away from home, either with sweet words or images in their heads so horrible they wanted nothing more than to run and scream. I… tricked them with my new gifts, and I either made them leave forever or fooled them unto death. And each time I brought violence to one of them, I felt a peace and clarity like never before. It made sense, what I was doing to them.

“When all of my siblings were gone, I went back to my father, hopeful to be embraced and wanted when no one else was there for him. Instead, I found a shell of a stallion, weeping and mourning for all of his lost children. ‘No,’ I thought. ‘That is not my father—the father of a being such as me would never be so weak.’ And like that, I left him and never saw him again. From there, I went in search of my own kingdom to rule as I saw fit. Years later I found it, and I took it. And during that time, I became something so much worse than what my father ever could have been.”

I finally looked up at Twilight, her eyes brimming with tears. I was surprised to find she hadn’t let go off my leg, even if it was attached to a monster.

I took my leg from her and painfully pressed it against the side of my horn. “This cursed thing made me destroy everything I had in this world! This cursed thing has ruined everything for me!”

I got up from the couch, unsure of where to go. “I didn’t know it would be this bad. I didn’t realize it would last forever. And every time the hate and the anger built up too much, I felt I had to hurt someone, just to feel that calm again.” I hitched in a breath. “It wasn’t supposed to end this way—I was tricked. All I wanted was to be loved, like my brothers and sister, yet, now I never could be. I was a fool, I know. But does that mean I should suffer everyday forever because of that.”

Something pattered to the carpet below, and I realized I was crying. It was something I couldn’t help in the least.

I hit my horn with a hoof. “And all because of this gift.” I hit it harder. “This stupid gift!” With two hooves I gripped its curved sides and tried to pry it from my head, wincing from the pain. “And now it will never go away and I will forever remain a monster! I don’t want it anymore, and now I understand my dream in the hospital was right. I should have stayed dead. I have hurt too many. At the time, I had to. I needed to. And only now do I realize that my father was right all along. He didn’t want to see what I became because it was wrong. He couldn’t love something that never should have existed and I don’t believe anyone could. I’m a mistake. And now nothing can change that.”

Still trying in vain to detach my horn from my head, I collapsed to my knees. I shut my eyes as more tears trickled down my face and my chest struggled to catch air. I hadn’t thought this long of the past in over a thousand years, and even then, did I rarely admit the truth to myself. It hurt too much. It was a pain I didn’t want to feel.

“Sombra…”

Twilight was somewhere in front of me.

“Sombra, please look at me.”

With effort, I opened my eyes. Twilight was knelt before me, a few tears of her own. Without a word, she enveloped me in a hug and held me tight. Feeling most empty of everything, I clamped down around her and continued to cry into her neck.

She whispered to me, “You were young, and you were only doing what you thought was right. You were cursed, and you lived with it for much longer than you should have. You may be right. You may never be able to rid yourself of it, but you can live with it. You don’t have to let it define you. Already, I know there is more to you than that.”

She pulled away from me to look at my tearstained face.

“Because, for a fact, I know you are capable of being loved. Because I think I do.”

I couldn’t fathom what I was hearing. “You… really…”

With force she put her lips to mine until I fell backwards to the floor. My legs wrapped around her head as I held onto her. She was nervous, I could tell, but that didn’t stop me from wanting her more than I ever had before.

Only a few moments later, did she guide me upstairs.

REGARDING THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY CONT.

I quietly sipped my coffee and tried to gauge Twilight’s mood out of the corner of my eye. Like all mornings, she was a few spoonfuls into another bowl of soggy oats. She kept her head down with the tiniest smirk on her lips. Her mane was more haggard than I’d seen it.

“That’s interesting…”

She flipped through the morning’s paper and pretended to read. If she was actually digesting what was on each page, I knew she would have been done with it already.

I put my mug to my mouth to hide my smile. “I had no idea you were into dirty talk, Twilight. It’s very unbecoming of you.”

Her spoon noisily plunked into her bowl. “I already apologized for that, Sombra, and I only said it once. And the fact that I even apologized for it is ridiculous.”

“You said ‘Celestia’ last night. That’s the last word I wanted to hear while—”

Twilight angled her head to glare at me. I could tell if I ever wanted a repeat of last night’s transgressions, I would shut up and never bring it up again.

I patted her hoof. “You’re forgiven.”

Twilight blew a strand of hair from her eyes and pretended to read again—a sight so simple and so sweet. Before I had needed to be surrounded by thousands of my fearful subjects to feel wanted and required. Now I only wanted the affection of a single pony. And somehow, I had gotten it. I would never let it slip away from me.

I scooted out from the table and went to refill my cup. Since I never ate in the morning, I sated my hunger with copious amounts of liquids. Cup number four smelled wonderful already.

While I was up, I heard Twilight’s spoon fall into her bowl again, as well as something else.

I turned, and at first, I chuckled, the sight too amusing to resist. Twilight’s head had fallen straight into her bowl and her paper had crumpled to her side.

“I didn’t think I tired you out that much, Twilight.”

I waited a moment. Then another. And soon I realized the punch line was nowhere to be found.

I lifted her head from the bowl, her eyes closed and her entire face coated with wet oats. “Twilight? Twilight, what are you doing? Stop doing this.” I roughly removed what mess I could and placed my hoof under her nose. She was still breathing, but that did little to quell my startled nerves.

I shook her shoulders and patted her cheek. “Please stop this, Twilight. I’m not good with jokes and I can’t tell if you’re joking right now. So wake up, all right? Please, Twilight, please just stop doing this.”

The mare did not move an inch.

I hurried her over to the library’s couch to lay her down. Drawing my hooves back, I found them trembling in front of me. My mind was a whirl. I knew I had to do something, I only didn’t know what it was.

Then I heard a snap and glimpsed a faint flash from the top of the stairs.

“Twilight? Twilight!”

I heard Discord’s voice, high-pitched and shaky. I turned to watch him enter the foyer, a motionless Fluttershy across both arms.

I gulped dryly. “What’s happening? Why is Twilight like this?”

He moved past me and knelt beside the couch, tears already falling from his eyes. “I’m too late,” he moaned. “I’m too late!”

“What… what are you talking about?”

He rested the stock-still Fluttershy over one shoulder. “I was spying on Fluttershy this morning, like most mornings since I’d left, and she just collapsed. I went to her and she wouldn’t wake up. It’s them, I tell you! It’s those monsters that use that poison.”

I shook my head. “You don’t know that.”

He growled at me, “Then who else? We need to move. We need to move right now.”

I felt the first few tears bite at my eyes. “I won’t leave her. Not when she’s like this.”

“She’s need the antidote, Sombra! They both do!” He hitched in a breath. “We have… maybe ten minutes until the poison paralyzes them both. From that point on, there’s not a lot we can do.”

I viewed the silently breathing Twilight—so soft and so innocent. I couldn’t lose her like this.

I thought for a moment. “Then we get Celestia and Luna. They can help. They’ll know what to do.”

Discord grabbed my arm painfully. “There’s no time, you idiot! And I’m done wasting my breath!” With his other arm, he set Fluttershy on the couch next to Twilight, then kissed her on the head. “I’ll be back. I promise.”

Then he held his fingers to the side of his head and snapped.

REGARDING THE PRICE OF IMMORTALITY CONT.

“How do you know of this place?”

I was hiding behind a row of trees before the entrance of a cave. Discord knelt down beside me and watched our enemy through a pair of binoculars. I’d never seen the draconequus as barren of laughs in all my time since meeting him.

He said bluntly, “As I told you before, I’ve had time on my hands. So I’ve been sniffing these monsters out—including where they keep their poisons and their antidotes.”

I watched the mammoth black spider that guarded the entrance to the cave. It energetically twitched its many thin legs, its dozens of eyes catching the sun’s glare. I truly didn’t care what types of poisons lay inside of it should it lay its fangs into me.

“We have minutes left, Discord. I’m going to kill that thing and then you’re going to run inside and get the antidote. We need—”

Discord lowered his binoculars. “You’ll take too long.”

He snapped his fingers and a giant fly-swatter far larger than the spider smacked into its side, shooting it into the distance. I should have noted then how lifeless it was as it shot through the air.

With the entrance clear, I wasted no time, charging for the small opening. Once inside, my eyes slowly adjusted to the gloom and I was momentarily taken aback by its simplicity. The cave was more like a small hole cut into the rock than anything of worth—enough room to store a few hundred bottles along the floors. Oddest of all was that no other guard waited for us inside.

Behind me, Discord yelled, “Grab the one on the stand! Hurry!”

Every small bottle on the floor was stained a cherry red, while a lone white vial sat precariously on a single rock pedestal. With my horn, I picked it up and trotted back to the entrance—only to find no entrance at all.

Discord stood with his hands behind his back, his tears dried but his eyes lined and heavy. He almost seemed ashamed.

I screamed at him, “What are you doing? We need to leave! Now!”

“And give them what, exactly? I don’t think that’ll help at a time like this.”

I stared at the vial I had been carrying, suddenly changed into a glass of chocolate milk that I let shatter on the ground.

I stammered out, “But… Twilight… I don’t understand.”

Discord nodded slowly. “I’m started to believe that’s your default setting. But have no fear, my friend; Twilight and Fluttershy are as fine as can be. You didn’t think I’d bring real harm to them, did you?”

I focused on my horn with more awareness than I ever had before. It would be my only saving grace should I need to escape or attack.

He extended a hand to me. Resting on top were two very familiar looking dolls, one purple and one yellow and pink. Each one had a trio of sewing pins in its back. With a snap, he removed each pin.

“That should do it,” he said. “Something else I’ve been learning for a time now is pressure points and nerve endings. Soon both of them will wake, perhaps with a stiff joint or two, but nothing more.”

I stepped towards him. “Why are you doing this? Why can’t you leave me alone? You don’t need to kill me to get your friends back.”

He giggled, a hint of the original Discord creeping back in. “Oh, silly Sombra. I’m not going to kill you. No! We’ve been through this before. What I’m doing now—what I’m doing right this second—is bottling you.”

He held both arms to the rock walls and ceiling. “This will be your new home for the next hundred years… or maybe two hundred. We’ll see how I feel. And in that time, I’ll get my friends back, and together we’ll have an entire lifetime of fun and happiness. And when they’re gone and only Twilight remains, I’ll let you out. But I can’t guarantee that she’ll wait for you—especially if she doesn’t know where you went.”

I shook my head forcibly from side to side, not wishing to hear another word. I charged my horn not to attack, but to teleport away, only to find I couldn’t mentally glimpse beyond the thick stone around me.

Discord watched me carefully and snapped his fingers. He furrowed his brows. “I see you’ve learned how to keep your horn. That’s all right. These walls are so infused with magic, you could try for a thousand years and never get out. But, truthfully, Sombra, you should feel happy about this.”

He strolled closer to me. “What I told you before, about how you were better than me, is true. If you and I continue to befriend Twilight and the rest, you will always come out on top. You have changed—not completely, to be sure, but more than I. I know I will fail again. It is part of my nature to disrupt that which has order, so that is why we cannot coexist. They will always choose you over me. I’m not good with competition.”

Finding the act of standing too much at the moment, I crumpled to the floor. The floor of what might become my tomb for more than a hundred years.

He asked me, “How did you spell Lu Fish in your journal, Sombra?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Well, because more than likely I’ll be your last visitor for some time, so maybe you’d like to chat a bit before I depart, and before you start banging your head against the walls.”

I thought of Twilight wondering where I was and wanted to leap for the monster that had put me there. But I knew that wasn’t the way I’d leave that place.

I said bluntly, “L-U-F-I-S-H.”

He put a finger to his chin. “That’s too bad. If you would have spelt it correctly: L-O-O-F-I-S-H. I would have done this neat reveal whereby switching the letters around, it would have read: FOOLISH. But that’s neither here nor there, is it?”

I lowered my head. “Can you tell Twilight that I love her, at least?”

“I… umm…” Discord appeared pained for once. “You know I can’t do that. You’ll be missing. No messages from the missing.”

I lowered my head even more. “Okay.”

Discord stood overtop of me, raping his knuckles on my head. “What are you doing? Stop moping! This is the part where you get angry and tell me all the nasty things you’re going to do to me once you’re out! This is when you curse my very soul. Don’t you get it?”

I sighed. “I will not do that, Discord, because in some ways I feel as if I owe you, even for the short time I got to spend with Twilight and the rest.”

He took a step back and narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“When I was on the Canterlot roof, preparing to jump, you were the one that pulled me away. Even if your goals were selfish in nature, it was because of you that I continued to live.”

He thought for a moment. “Well, then you’re welcome. Now, act like you normally would and charge at me or something!”

I stood up and shook my head. “No. Because since you’ve disappeared and I’ve stopped trying to find a way to kill you, I’ve been trying to understand you. And at this very moment, you remind me of myself.” I watched his pupils shrink as he curled a lip over his fang. “On that roof, I wanted my friend back more than anything and in my desperation I couldn’t think of a reasonable way of doing so. That is what you’re doing now—becoming desperate. You helped me once, and now I will do the same.”

He crossed both arms over his chest. “I would never need any help from you!”

“Even when it’s one thing you’ve wanted from me all along?” I smiled faintly. “I am going to do something for you now that very few have done before. I am going to befriend you, Discord. Right here. Right now.” I cleared my throat. “Discord, I want to be your friend.”

Discord ran a hand over his face. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am very serious, Discord. How else can we all coexist together? Better still, think of it like this: in one hundred years time, when all five of Twilight’s friends are gone from this world, who will you have left to call as friend? You may have Twilight, sure, but she will not always have the time and patience for you. Try as you might, you cannot hold on to everyone forever. Call it the price of immortality.” I paused to lick my lips. “I could be there for you, Discord. Immortals should try and stick together. And haven’t you always wanted a guy friend? And how many of your friends are as impervious to death as me?”

“I… don’t…” Discord’s face was a clash of emotions, both wanting to believe my words and shut them out completely. He turned his back to me. “You’re lying! You’re only saying that because you don’t want me to bury you for a hundred years!”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, yes, that might have brought on this epiphany that’s happening right now, but I think this is something that was always coming. We both have a lot to learn about friendship, and of understanding the needs and wants of others. I can plainly see that you are hurt, but you must understand it was never me that caused the rift between you and your friends. All I did was bring to light how much better things could be. If we were friends, then I could help you become better friends with all six of them.”

Slowly, he turned his head to me. I could tell he wanted to hate me, but more than that he wanted to believe me. He said hopefully, “You really mean all that?”

“I do.” I held out one leg to my side. “Now come in for a hug, big guy. Come to poppa.”

The draconequus took a step towards me, fighting with myself. “I don’t want to. You could still be lying. Plus, you probably smell and are terribly itchy!”

I shook my head. “Just the other day I was told I was fluffy and warm. You know you want to be my friend, Discord. In Canterlot, I denied you more times than I can remember, but now I am willing. So bring it on.” I motioned him over to me.

Like a deflating balloon, he collapsed over my shoulder, his thin arms looping around me while his narrow head drooped close to my tail. Once I hugged him back (and smelled every trace of his stale candy odor once more), he succumbed to his rising anxiety, crying and coughing and making me very worrisome of the state of my fur on my back.

He said through choked sobs, “I’ve really screwed up this time! I want them to like me, I really do!”

I patted the shuddering creature. “We will talk to them and set everything straight. We don’t need to mention this whole buried-alive thing to anyone.”

“Okay.” I heard him blow his nose on a conjured rag. “Sombra?”

“Yes.”

“Can we have chaos Fridays?”

“We can have mild chaos Fridays, sure.”

“Okay. Will you bring snacks?”

“Well, I won’t bring them every time, but sure, I guess I will.”

He nodded. “That makes sense. We’ll alternate, then.”

Eventually his tears ceased and he pulled away from me. “And I promise, if I ever accidently kill you during chaos Fridays, I’ll bring you right back.”

I grimaced. “I’d rather you didn’t need to.”

“I won’t make promises I can’t keep, Sombra. That’s not what friends do.”

I sighed. “All right… friend.”

Discord grinned and tap danced on the floor, a series of small fireworks following each step.

He scooped me up in one arm. “This’ll be great, Sombra! I’ve always found Fluttershy’s conversations to be girly and boring, but you and I can talk about anything!”

I lightly patted his arm. “Yes… I’m sure we will. But how about first we leave this dreary place?”

He set me back down. “All right. That sounds good. But there’s one thing I want to give you first, friend, since I hear you’ve been without it for some time.” Discord reached down and popped off his goat leg, before another slid neatly into place. Holding the detached appendage near his mouth, he blew fire onto it until it blackened and dripped on the ground. “Here you go!”

He set it onto my trembling hooves and my mouth overran with saliva. At once I wanted to stuff the whole thick piece of meat into my mouth, and yet savor it as much as I could. Sadly, it was gone within seconds, as well as the bone at its center.

With a smattering of grease still coating my muzzle, I could only hope Eeyup Pony would forgive me when I told him the news: I’d found a new best friend. This one came with benefits.

Together we left that cave and back out into the sun.

With an invigorated expression, he turned to me, “You know what we should do?”

I turned to him. “What’s that?”

“Find more friends to play with.”

REGARDING THE SUBTLE ART OF FRIEND COLLECTING

In the hour it took to coax her from her nest, I recalled all the moments that made up the last few weeks. When I returned to Twilight’s castle from the cave, I found her and Fluttershy in the kitchen drinking tea, curiosity overtaking them as I walked in with Discord by my side.

That evening, Discord said his apologies to all six Elements and was begrudgingly forgiven. I could tell not all of Twilight’s friends accepted him openly, but there was always room to improve. That evening, I was also invited to spend the night in Twilight’s room once more, reading and talking. Although I never told her about Discord’s latest scheme to be rid of me, I did tell her of his need to feel included. Agreeing, she got to work on a list of draconequus safe activities that same evening.

Mine and Discord’s first chaos Friday would be one to be remembered, as it ended with a coffee spill that stained more than half the homes in Ponyville. I died, heroically, while trying to float to safety on an oversized sugar-cube. I can only hope next week’s ordeal is lighter in severity.

Only now we had a new friend to meet.

“Why won’t you leave?” was the first thing the insectoid Chrysalis said to Discord and me, as we stood patiently outside her home. “You’ve been told to go and the fact that you remain is trying my patience.”

Several hundred smaller drones hovered around us as we waited outside their nest. Any moment their leader gave the word, I knew they would descend and destroy. This was all becoming increasingly interesting.

Discord stretched his long neck in her direction. “But you haven’t even heard our pitch yet!” He cleared his throat. “Have you ever thought about the good word of Celestia? Or about the magic of friendship?”

Chrysalis’ eyes darted from Discord’s to mine. She was on edge, as she should be. “I’m not interested in your little cult. If Celestia wishes to wage war upon us, she may try. Now tell me, how did you find this place? It has been well hidden for years, and your disturbance cannot go unpunished.”

Discord rolled his eyes. “Oh, now you’re being silly, Chrysi. All it took was some aerial photos and some well-drawn maps and some crystal balls and some luck! But don’t look at this like a threat—”

“This is a threat now?”

“—look at this like the first day in the beginning of a beautiful new life!” He nudged me in the ribs and whispered, “Give her the pamphlet.”

I levitated over the thin booklet and Chrysalis nervously held in one hoof. With her horn, she flipped it open and scowled at every small item inside.

Discord sidled next to her and pointed with a claw. “So here’s a list of all the wonderful stuff friendship can accomplish! And here are a bunch of pictures, because pictures are so much better than words! Here’s Twilight and the gang. And here’s Celestia and Luna—remember them? Oh, and looky there, here’s Sombra and me at the bar last week. This was taken a few minutes before we were ejected for thirty-one different reasons!”

Chrysalis flipped to the last page. “Why is there so much fine print near the bottom? I cannot read it.”

Discord waved a hand. “Oh, that? That’s just some side effects that might happen due to friendship mishaps, such as murder, attempted murder, dragon attacks, property damage, assault, grievous injury, etc., etc. It’s standard stuff, I promise.”

Chrysalis let the pamphlet fall to the ground. “I am uninterested in your so-called ‘friendship.’ My race feeds off love and nothing more. Now be gone from my sight before my hive tears you both to pieces.”

Discord ran a hand along the back of his neck. “But it would be so much easier if you just agreed to it.”

Chrysalis’ pupils shrunk as she took a step away from us. “What do you—”

That was when Discord shoved a burlap sack overtop of her, tying both ends with string. The moment he did, she lashed out and he had to hold the bag away from him in a field of magic.

He yelled to her, “You’ll thank me later! I promise!”

I watched the violent display as her horn already punctured a hole through the sac. “You should have double-bagged her. She’ll get out soon.”

Discord put a hand on my shoulder. “Oh, whatever. I’ll just put her in a safe or something. What we really need to worry about is the thousands of her little friends coming to kill us posthaste.”

The hurried flutter of paper-like wings intensified around us. “Any ideas, then?”

“I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

I watched the thrashing Queen for a few moments longer. “Was I that bad in the beginning?”

Discord giggled. “No. You were worse. She at least talks. You just sat and stared.”

I nodded. “I hope she likes cookies. Maybe I’ll bring her some when she tires herself out.”

Discord opened his mouth to speak as the bag ripped in two. A furious Chrysalis with burning red eyes glared at us both. She screamed, “I will drink the very essence of love from both of your hearts!”

Seemed as though she wasn’t ready to be our friend just yet.

Author's Note

Well, sorry to say, but that's it for now. Thanks for reading along and either hating or enjoying the story. (Or both?)

Again, I'll label this as complete, but I know of at least two bonus chapters I'd like to eventually add. One from when Sombra was in Canterlot (and was a dick), and one from when he was in Ponyville (and was an idiot).

And yes, a third arc is completely possible, once I get away from this project for a while.

A big thank you to this story's editor spigo, who I tricked by saying the second arc would be around the same length as the first. (It was three times as long.) He was the first editor I've ever used, so I have no idea if he was horrifically brutal to me, or as soft as melted butter. Either way, the story looks a thousand times better due to his hard work.

Enough words. I'll shut up now.

Regarding Bonus Chapters: Ponyville Arc

Author's Note

This would've taken place after the rowboat incident, but before the dragon attack. It was dropped at the last minute due to its goofy tone. Still, enjoy.

Regarding Bonus Chapters: Ponyville Arc

REGARDING AN INCIDENT THAT WILL REMAIN NAMELESS

Something happened a few days ago. An incident I’ve been trying to forget.

I’ve thought of omitting the entry from the journal completely, but since I’m the only one that’ll ever read this blasted thing, maybe it’ll allow me to understand the oddity a little more. Or perhaps it’ll allow me to move past the event and forget that horrifying time when my… well, let’s start from the beginning.

I awoke one sunny afternoon having taken a nap on Fluttershy’s couch—a more and more familiar sight. Something about the way she kept so busy during the days with her constant animal care and little songs just made me tired, perhaps because of how taxing it all looked to do.

Yawning, I stretched out my legs and went to the washroom to straighten each wayward hair that I knew would be attempting to escape from the rest of my mane. I patted down my head and, still a little groggy, I left the washroom without fully realizing what had changed. A few steps from the door, I stopped and blinked.

I chuckled. “No, that can’t be right.”

Usually my standard deep-baritone chuckle soothed me like no other sound, but this time it sounded much higher in pitch. And now what I thought I saw in the mirror seemed a lot more real than before.

Still, I was a stickler for denying the existence of most everything I didn’t like.

I tried clearing my throat. “I am Sombra.”

The words were mine, but the voice was not. Much too light. Much too sweet.

I swallowed and purposely tried lowering my voice. “I am Sombra and I shouldn’t be talking like this.”

Sadly, it couldn’t mask the new timbre of my voice.

I took a deep breath and went back to the washroom, ignoring the mirror for a moment. Steeling myself, I faced my reflection and yelped at what I saw. Perhaps most annoying of all, I found I couldn’t even scream normally.

I heard Fluttershy from the doorway. “Sombra? Who was that yelling? Did you invite someone over?”

“I…” I started, before fear took hold and I slammed the washroom door shut. I tried to lower my voice again. “I can’t talk right now, Fluttershy. Give me a moment and I’ll get back to you.”

She came to stand outside the door. “Who’s in there? Where’s Sombra? Is someone playing a prank, because I really don’t like those, especially when they involve ponies breaking into my house to use my washroom. Unless, that is, you really needed to use it, in which case that’s all right.” She paused for a moment. “Is there enough soap in there? Do you have enough towels?”

I couldn’t take my sight off my new face. My chiseled good looks replaced by a rounder, smoother, more feminine frame. I stood several inches shorter, and even my mane and tail seemed to have an extra curl and airiness to them. With a hoof, I prodded myself, unsure of what to expect. All I know is that my coat had never felt so soft.

My pupils shrunk when I thought of something else that might have changed.

“Oh, please no.”

One trembling hoof went below the innocent view of the mirror and came back having grabbed nothing. My mouth trembled as my ears fell flat against my skull.

I told my delicate reflection, “I’m a mare.”

Fluttershy knocked on the door. “If it’s not too much trouble when you’re done, could you please leave my house or at least tell me who this is?”

I looked at the door gravely. “It’s… umm…” I hadn’t a clue what to say. “It’s Sombra.”

“You don’t sound like Sombra.”

“Well… something’s happened, you see.”

“Something washroom related?”

I turned back to the mirror, poking at my new face. Already I missed my old muzzle… along with several other things.

“No,” I said. “Well, maybe. I don’t know. Look, if I open the door, can you swear to me you won’t panic?”

Fluttershy thought for a moment. “If this really is Sombra, then there shouldn’t be anything to panic about.”

I gulped. “All right.”

Hesitantly, I unlocked the door and exited. A smiling Fluttershy stood at the ready, any problem clearly labeled as solved in her mind. Then she caught sight of me—the new me—and I thought that maybe this was something that didn’t happen all that much.

She put a hoof to her mouth. “Sombra, what happened? You’re… you look like—”

“A mare,” I finished flatly. Perhaps cutely—I’m not sure. “I don’t know how, but…” I took a quick glance underneath me. “Yes, definitely a mare.”

Fluttershy’s pupils shrunk. “Were you trying some spell that could have done this? Or was Twilight trying one? I know from time to time she’s made a spell that hasn’t worked quite like it should.”

I shook my head, the tips of my mane swaying gracefully. “No spell, at least by my count. But I really should—”

Knock-knock-knock.

Fluttershy turned to the noise. “I wonder who that could be.”

My stomach turned to ice. I closed my eyes. “Not him. Anyone but him.”

Someone called from outside the house. “Hello in there? Is my special somepony ready for our gloriously tantalizing evening together?”

Fluttershy went to the entrance and opened the door. Outside, Discord stood with a small bouquet of wilted flowers and a large box of chocolates. Without a word he entered and looked around the room.

“Now where is she, that special mare of mine?”

I entered the living room and my blood boiled. I ground my teeth together, noticing the complete lack of fangs for the first time.

Discord put both hands to his chest. “There she is! Pretty as a picture that’s fallen off the hook. You ready to go, or do you need to freshen up first? I know you mares tend to take some time getting ready. But don’t take too long now. I’m only immortal.”

Shaking from pure hatred and rage, I turned to Fluttershy. “Is there anything you’d like to say to Discord before I murder him right in front of you, Fluttershy? Some parting words, perhaps?”

Fluttershy gasped. “Well, actually, I’d rather you didn’t kill him, if you don’t mind.”

I shook my head. “Nope. Sorry. Not this time. He’s gone a little too far with this one. I’m a mare right now. And truthfully, that’s not something I’d ever thought I’d need to say during my lifetime.”

Fluttershy stood between Discord and I. “But, Sombra, you… you really make a nice looking mare.”

Now I was choking on the unfiltered anger burning inside me. I grunted out, “Those types of facts aren’t really helping the situation, Fluttershy.”

“Oh.” She thought for a moment. “Maybe you just need to know the ins and outs of being a mare. We could always have a sleepover, if you wanted to. All six of us. It could be fun.” She actually smiled at the thought. “We could tell stories and stay up late and eat popcorn and—”

I told her sternly, “Still not helping, Fluttershy. And since I don’t want to see you covered in blood, I need you to go to the kitchen and far away from Discord. I’m about to remove his head from his body, and I would hate for you to be standing in the splash zone.”

Fluttershy glanced back and forth between us; Discord patiently watching with a sly smirk. She said softly, “Can’t we talk about this some more?”

Discord guided her towards the back of the house. “It’s all right, Fluttershy. Sombra’s just a little mad at the moment—maybe she chipped a hoof or something. But don’t worry your little head one bit. Sombra’s bark has always been worse than her bite. She’s just having a little temper tantrum, is all.”

So much blood had rushed to my face that I saw spots.

Fluttershy looked at both of us again, before she exited the living room and hid around the corner.

Once she was a safe distance away, I told Discord, “Change me back, so I may politely kill you as a stallion.”

He stroked his thin beard. “You tried that before, remember? I don’t die. I only come back much worse than before. It would be better if you accepted that fact already.”

I nodded. “Okay. Then it will be a mare that kills you today.”

I charged up my horn—a pulsing red light that made Discord close one eye.

He snapped his fingers and the spell dropped. “Now, now. I don’t want to fight. Not in Fluttershy’s living room, at least. And how, in all good conscience, could I ever bring harm to such a delicate little flower as you?”

I saw spots again. I screamed at him, “Give back what you have taken, dragon!”

He put a finger to his cheek. “You’re going to need to be more specific, I’m afraid.”

My left eye twitched. “You know what I mean! My things! My personal things! Give them back!”

“Don’t you like your new things?”

I screamed. Not as menacing as I’d hoped, but at least it cleared my head for a moment.

I asked him, “Then what do you want? Out with it!”

He smiled. “As I told you before, I want you gone from here. I want you far, far away where I won’t need to worry about you. Stop being friends with my friends, as simple as that. Promise me you’ll do that, and I’ll change you back.”

I took a step towards him. “And if I refuse?”

He chuckled. “Then you’re really not going to like what happens next.”

“Try me.”

He dropped his gifts to the floor and sat on the couch. “How does this sound, cutie pie? The only way I’ll drop the spell is when you find me again, in the very center of town.”

“That doesn’t sound hard.”

He chuckled again. “It’s not! But here’s what makes it hard. First: you’ll need to find me while as a mare. Second: if you use magic, I’ll consider that cheating and you lose. Third: every stallion in Ponyville will be on the lookout for you. Call it a sudden insatiable itch that only you can help them scratch. Or, if that sentence flew over your pretty little head, I’ve given every male in town a love spell—targeted towards you and you alone.”

My rage dissipated as I thought of every last stallion in town. Sure, the population favored mares over stallions, but that still left hundreds if not more of the opposite sex potentially looking for me. The thought of no magical abilities only added to my fear.

I went up to Discord, not capable of meeting his eyes. I whispered to him a single word that I think will haunt me until the end of my days.

I mumbled it to him.

He stuck his ear closer to me. “What was that now? I couldn’t hear you.”

I bit my tongue. “Mercy.”

“One more time, please.”

“Mercy!” I shouted. “This is too much! You’ve gone too far, Discord! Undo what you’ve done! I’m not prepared for something like this!”

He rapped his fingers against the table. “Then promise to leave this place. Forever. Go away and never come back.”

I said with bared teeth, “You know I can’t promise that.”

He shook his head. “Then I’m sorry, but it looks as though a quick trip through town is in order for the newest and fairest mare in all the land. Unless, that is, you encounter some trouble on your way over...”

I stepped away from him, the sight of his smirk causing my blood to boil all over again. The dots in my vision came back with force and I swayed along the floor—so much rage and anger that I didn’t even know where to begin.

I yelled to the heavens above. “Why, creator, why? I do not understand you! How can you allow such a horrible abomination upon this earth without a just and fair anti-creation in which to spite it? This cannot stand. A being such as Discord should never exist. You have gone too far this time and I do not wish to partake in this folly any longer. So strike him down! Do it now and rid the world of your mistake! Absolve the world of such a nuisance!”

My eyes darted from the roof to the top of Discord’s head, where I was sure a giant bolt of lightning would come crashing down, obliterating the bastard. Even Discord spared a few anxious glances to the ceiling, curious if he was about to be smitten from a spirit above.

When nothing of interest happened, he left the couch and stretched. “Got that out of your system? Good. I’ll see you in a bit.” He stuck his head out to me. “I know you must still be new to this whole mare business, so let me remind you that it’s dinner first and then something, something, something.”

I looked at him fretfully. “Why did you omit those words?”

“Because the imagination is so much worse than anything I could have come up with.” He gave me a wave. “Bye-bye now!”

Discord snapped himself from the room and I was left alone, breathing heavy and trying to clear away the dots dancing in my vision. I sat down on the floor, my new plot providing much more cushion than the last. It wasn’t a detail that abated my nerves.

Then someone tapped on the window.

“Fluttershy? Is someone in there with you?”

It was a stallion. One I didn’t recognize.

He knocked again, his shadow splayed along the glass. “Can I come in? I’m nearly positive there’s someone in there with you.”

Fluttershy came to my side. “I really should answer. It’s not polite to keep ponies waiting.”

She managed a single step towards the door before I pinned her against the ground. I might have lost most of my robust features, but my overall strength had been left intact.

I told her urgently, “You can’t, Fluttershy. They’re looking for me. All of them. Every single stallion in Ponyville. I need to find a way out of here and to the center of town.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh, I’m sure if we just explain to them the situation, they’ll all realize there’s been a mistake and—”

Bang-bang-bang!

The stallion outside hammered against the door. “Fluttershy? Now I’m nearly positive there’s someone in there with you. I’d really like to meet them, if that’s all right, so we can something, something, something together.”

I extended a leg towards the door. “You see? They’re all out there! Preparing to do ‘something’ to me! I don’t want that and I don’t believe you want to pay for the therapy bills that’ll surely follow.”

Fluttershy looked at the door again. “Then what do we do?”

I told her, “You forget how clever I can be. Give me time and I’ll think of something that can’t possibly fail.”

REGARDING THE DELICACIES OF CARDBOARD

I looked out the two holes Fluttershy had cut along the front of the box. Already my mane was drenched from the heat trapped inside my small space and I was constantly wiping away sweat. The route I’d decided on was slow, but safe. Whenever I heard a group of stallions trot close by, I lowered to the ground and listened intently. Although I knew the length of the wheat stalks would conceal my new defense system without much trouble.

After pondering for a time, Fluttershy dug around in her storage shed and came back with an empty fridge box she’d kept since getting a new one. Re-taping the sides and folding it back into shape, I thought this might be my best chance at successfully sneaking through the masses.

While Fluttershy distracted the growing number of stallions at her door, I went out the back and entered the closest field. Once well past my head in the wheat stalk that bordered both sides of the road into town, I sluggishly began my journey. Along my trek, I wondered just how potent Discord’s love spell might have been.

As I heard a trio of stallions greet each other on the road, I lowered to the ground.

“What are you guys doing out here?” one of them said to the others.

“I’m not sure, really. I just got this sudden urge to come in this direction, almost like I’m searching for someone.”

“Me too.”

“Yeah, that’s the feeling I’m getting, like that certain someone I’m looking for could be in one of these fields around here, maybe hiding in a box or something.”

My mouth hung limp as I tried to stay silent. It wasn’t possible for them to think as coherently as that. Was it?

“Yeah, maybe in an old fridge box.”

It was then I was reminded Discord might be pulling a few more strings than he’d originally led on about.

A minute later, the stallions I had been listening to went in the other direction and I continued on. When I heard the flutter of wings, I angled my cumbersome box to the sky and found a group of pegasi circling up above in perfect unison. As much as I’d hoped it could have been just another normal flight for them, I knew damn well who they were combing the area for.

After what felt like hours, I finally made my way to the end of the fields and arrived near the head of town. I peered through my large eyeholes and found Ponyville about as cheerful as ever, smiles and grins and overall happiness abound. It didn’t seem like the stallions in town were as ecstatic as the ones along the road; although more than a few appeared energetic and uneasy, glancing from side to side in search of something unseen.

“Almost there,” I whispered, reminded once again of my new voice.

I will admit, it was cute. But I had been known as King Sombra, not Queen.

I saw my target at the very end of the street—the dead center of town. Even from such a distance away I could spot Discord at one of the outside tables of a café with a pair of shades on, sipping on a drink.

I would like to write in this journal that I’d never hated the fool more than at that moment, but truthfully, I’m almost certain he’ll do something worse to me in the future.

Carefully, I wormed my way out of the tall stalks and quickly sidled against the nearest building at the edge of the street. With my limited vision, I scanned around and found my cardboard security device, so far, unnoticed.

So far, so good.

Rounding a corner, I kept close to the ground and traveled along the fronts of shops, hopeful not to trip up someone going in or coming out. Four buildings later, when I got within shouting distance of Discord pleasantly munching on a cucumber sandwich, I surprised myself with a giggle. I know it wasn’t the best idea given the circumstances, but so far Discord’s arduous journey had been anything but.

Then it all came crashing down.

A small colt came bounding out the store I stood in front of, ramming head first into my cardboard cloak. Only looking out the two holes at the front, I was shoved to the side and tripped over my own legs.

With a dainty-sounding curse, I collapsed to the road and my fridge disguise fell away. I reached for it, but a fruit cart traveling up the street crushed it before I could get to it. With it gone, I got to my hooves to check if I’d been seen.

Short answer: yes.

“Ohhhhh!” said every stallion in the small vicinity.

“Don’t you dare ‘Ohhhhh’ me!” I yelled back, not as threatening as I’d hoped.

“Awwwww!” they responded, uncaring of my wishes.

A half-dozen stallions poured out of each shop, jaws limp and eyes wide and unblinking. A waiter stallion by the restaurant dropped every plate he had been holding and joined another small group that steadily made their way towards me. Soon, a circle of awestruck males closed in around me, curious who the new mare in town was. There must have been close to thirty or more.

As I watched a pegasus approach while licking his lips, I tasted the contents of my lunch make a break for it. Sadly, I didn’t believe even seeing their beauty covered in vomit would be enough to deter them.

Through a crack in the thick of mare-hungry dolts, I watched Discord lean back in his seat with a piece of chocolate cake on a plate. He was eating it, too.

I yelled to the enclosing crowd, “You so much as touch me and I won’t be held responsible for what happens!”

Still they approached; some mumbling sweet words while others merely drooled onto the road.

“Are you new in town?”

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Can I buy you a mineral water?”

“You remind me of a book I read recently. Its plot was amazing.”

The comments only got worse.

I bared my teeth at them. “So be it!”

Just as I got ready to buck the closest one with a solid kick, I felt a heavy hoof on my shoulder. Spinning fast, I glanced up and found someone I wish I hadn’t.

Eeyup Pony’s gentle face held a stern expression—that same determination he tackled most of his chores at home with. Seemed as though I’d become his latest chore to finish.

I looked at him with pity. “Et tu, Eeyup Pony?”

He thought for a moment, a gentle breeze blowing through his mane. He nodded. “Eeyup.”

Suddenly I was tackled to the ground, his sheer weight forcing the air from my lungs. By the time I pushed back, another stallion from the herd jumped atop of him, adding to the mass. Soon the sky was blotted from view, as more and more love-hungry stallions jumped atop the pile.

For anyone wondering around town, it must have made for quite a display.

Pressed firmly against the ground, I folded into a ball, keeping out of reach from grabby hooves. Eeyup Pony still laid overtop of me, his larger body serving as a makeshift shield against everyone else. Grunting from the strain, I managed to rise a few centimeters and then a few more. One hard shove upwards and I became ready to retaliate. I had only to say something first.

I turned to Eeyup Pony. “I’m sorry about this.”

Using every ounce of strength I held, I shot out my back legs into Eeyup Pony’s chest and watched him soar into the distance, another couple of stallions traveling alongside him. With more room to maneuver, I quickly spun and did the same to the other side of the pile, stallions with a lovelorn expression swiftly flying through the air.

Some landed in the road while a few thumped against second floor windows and awnings.

One dazed unicorn stared at me dejected. “I thought I was getting to know you.”

I ignored him and got to my hooves again, the thirty that had surrounded me turned to less than ten. Even after seeing the rest of their kind flung aside with little trouble, they charged anyways, still lusting for that something, something, something I had no intention of giving them.

I shoved them aside as they came, trotting the final few meters to the pleasantly sitting Discord, currently blowing on his after meal coffee.

I went up to his table. “I made it. Now, stop this insanity.”

Discord glanced up the street, dozens of limping ponies still headed in my direction.

“I guess you’re right.” He snapped his fingers, causing each stallion to halt in place and contemplate their actions over the last few minutes.

I pointed at my face. “I think you’re forgetting something.”

He smiled at me. “I don’t think so. Take a seat, you must be tired. I’m just glad this whole ‘love spell’ thing didn’t ruin our date.” He slid a menu over to me. “Don’t worry about the bill. I stole some bits from Celestia last time I was at the castle.”

At that point I was so exhausted I didn’t even argue.

I asked bluntly, “If I sit with you, you’ll change me back?”

His grin was close to dividing his face. “Certainly. Anything for such a catch.”

I sighed and pulled out a seat. I ordered the four most expensive things off the menu and a bottle of wine for my hooves only. I told them I wouldn’t need a glass.

By the time I’d finished eating everything, two waiters and a cook tried asking for a date.

Once I informed them I used to be a stallion, none of them seemed all that inclined to ask again.

Regarding Bonus Chapters: Canterlot Arc

Author's Note

Any bonus chapters from the Canterlot Arc would have occurred around the second or third chapters, when Sombra was in full dick mode.

A big thanks to Mad Maudlin and his/her comments that led to this bonus chapter. I might go ahead and steal the rest of your suggestions, along with anyone else's in the comments.

Regarding Bonus Chapters: Canterlot Arc

REGARDING PUDDING CUPS

Months onto the job, I was fairly certain everyone in Canterlot hated me. It was obvious, really. They’d pass by my desk and look in any direction besides my workstation. If they needed assistance in finding a certain wing in the large palace, most would choose to get lost rather than bother to share a word with me.

Not that I was complaining. It was nice. Obviously, it was. At least they weren’t fawning for my attention like all those foolish simpletons that attempted to chat me up to look good in the eyes of Celestia.

So what does this negative diatribe have to do with pudding cups, exactly?

I consider myself the absolute worst and nastiest villain in Equestrian history—past, present, and future. They truly believe I can be changed? Brought to the side of good and bask in the warm and toasty rays of friendship? Never going to happen, I’m afraid. The series of events leading to such a miraculous deviation from the norm would need to occur over a series of months and have several serious character revelations alongside humorous misunderstandings.

I couldn’t see it happening.

Or perhaps a brick would fall atop my head and I’d spend the rest of my days strapped to a chair, drooling out the mouth. Celestia could place me at the entrance of the castle and every time someone entered, I could shout, “Will you be my friend?” and I highly doubt I’d ever be denied. In a matter of days I would have more friends than even Twilight Sparkle herself. Princess of Friendship, indeed.

I’d always wondered what would have happened if a seventh friend tried to join their little ragtag group. “What’s that, Twilight? You brought another friend with you? Well, how ‘bout she sits in the corner for a while and doesn’t say anything. Afraid there’s already one too many friends here.”

So what does this diatribe have to do with pudding cups?

I am a villain of the highest caliber, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the simple taste of confectionary sweets. From noon until one, I’m allowed in the castle cafeteria along with the rest of the staff and guards. Bolt sits next to me and everyone else in the room silently ignores my existence. Here’s a quick rundown of the weekly specials:

Monday: cold vegetable.

Tuesday: cold vegetable.

Wednesday: warm vegetable.

Thursday: warm starch.

Friday: four-pounds of hay fries with ketchup. (It’s a miracle anyone stays awake after lunch on most Fridays with this amount of heavy starch.)

Each day I’m served the same variation of vegetables and each day I grimace and chew and request bacon along with my lackluster meal. The cooks behind the sneeze-guard laugh each time and I growl in that way that used to be threatening, but I suspect had become little more than background noise.

Most of my meal is substandard and nowhere near fit for a King. But my dessert is an entirely different matter. My pudding cup.

Everyday I carefully peel off its plastic top and take my time licking off the excess of gooey dessert that sticks to the lid. The sight must have been utterly bizarre—a full grown, black stallion closing his eyes and sensually licking his food—but, honestly, my dark image had been damaged beyond repair a long time ago.

“You want mine?” asked Bolt, holding this pudding cup out to me.

Before he had a chance to realize his stupendous mistake, I snatched it from his hooves and devoured the tasty treat as fast as my clumsy hooves could manage. It’s times like those that I was tempted to use the small amount of magic I had left. I would, but writing in this holds precedence over all, and even the slight movements of a quill over an hour is enough to drain me dry.

When I rule over them again, it will be from this book that I will read; each horrible and deplorable thing they did to me and made me do. I doubt many will laugh when I read to them from this journal—every page and every sentence, every injustice done to my character.

Let it be known that my life is no laughing matter.

After finishing Bolt’s offered pudding cup, I stared back at him, muzzle coated with dessert and tongue anxiously searching for what remained. I tipped my head in the slightest of nods and said, “Thank you, Bolt,” in something close to a whisper. I didn’t realize what I was saying until it popped out.

For the longest time, Bolt looked at me as if I’d just cursed each one of his family members. (Which I had done by that point. Repeatedly.) His cheeks flushed red and he glanced around, curious if anyone else had heard those few choice words exit my nefarious lips.

It seemed none had. Yet that didn’t stop the events that followed.

“Here you go, Sombra. Another pudding cup.”

I was sitting and writing at my desk, when a unicorn guard slid a sealed dessert over to me. If it was a trap, I didn’t care. I took it and placed it to my side for careful consumption later. As long as it meant more pudding, I’d bear whatever ramifications.

I went back to my journal.

The unicorn remained in front of my desk.

“You, uh…” he started. “You going to say something now?”

Keeping my head lowered, I glared at him, filling the green and red of my eyes with a pulsing light that was merely for show. It was about the limits of my squashed magical abilities.

The unicorn swallowed dryly and fidgeted.

I told him thickly, “Thank you, guard, for the pudding cup.”

In an instant he relaxed and waved a hoof in the air. “Oh, it was nothing. We’ve all been eating the same crap for years, so most of the guards are pretty sick of them, tell you the truth.”

He waited for a reply. It never came.

Eventually, he left, and before departing from the castle’s foyer, he stopped and spoke with another guard strolling around the castle. One hoof in my direction told me I might have made a mistake in my overabundance of nicety.

Nice Sombra. I didn’t like the sound of it.

REGARDING BEAUTIFUL, TASTY TEARS

On one of my neverending night shifts, two guards scooted a small wheelbarrow to the side of my desk. Inside must have been close to a hundred chocolate pudding cups, all eagerly waiting to be opened and given a tour of my gut.

I sucked back the newfound saliva in my mouth. “What’s this?”

It was the unicorn guard from before. “This is for you, Sombra.”

I started to leave my seat to begin the feast, but realized there had to be a second half to all this. I rolled my eyes. “Why is this for me?”

The Earth pony that had accompanied the unicorn leaned across my desk. He clearly had no issues with personal space, and that mine was paramount over everyone else’s.

He whispered to me, “We want you to do something for us. All that pudding? That’s what most of the guards have been saving up for the last couple of days. And it’s all yours, Sombra, as long as you do a little favor for us.”

I was tempted to lunge forward and chew his smarmy muzzle off. It wouldn’t taste as good as a hundred and one pudding cups, but I thought the sight alone might be worth the loss. What stopped me was the fact that they wanted me for a job; meaning that none of them had the gall to do it themselves… or simply weren’t allowed to. I must admit I was curious.

I also had absolutely nothing better to do.

I pursed my lips. “What kind of favor? You must know I carry no magic or strength at all anymore. It was robbed from me by your ruler and her like-minded alicorn cronies.”

He grinned. “We know that. And all we’re asking is for you to read something to someone. A very special someone. He visits often and I’m pretty sure you’ve met him by now. If you’d served on the guard for as long as I have, you might even despise him as much as the rest of the staff here. All we want is a message delivered. A rather long one. Only words.”

I thought for a moment. “Painful words?”

His smile widened. “Very.”

I shoved my journal aside. “You had me at pudding cup.”

The next day, the trap was set. One of the guards took my place at the desk and I was escorted up the stairs and to a wing of the castle I had only been to once before. The Earth pony pointed in the direction of a single door by the end of the hall and I went to it, hobbling due to the lengthy scroll tucked under one leg.

When I got to the door, I turned and found the hallway behind me empty. I could sense several guards hiding around the corners.

Through the door, I heard someone yawn and rise out of bed. A minute later, the door opened and someone I scarcely remembered strolled out. I had to glance at my long note to make sure of the name.

“Prince Blueblood?” I asked.

Below his carefully styled mane, his eyes narrowed. “Yes?”

I glanced at my note again, pondering what to say first.

Blueblood put a hoof to his chin. “Aren’t you my aunt’s little pet project or something? That pony at the desk? Somber Stallion?”

I grinned at him, complete with fangs. He was making this a lot easier than it should have been. “Sombra, if you’d be so kind. And I’m only here until I escape or find a way to rip your auntie’s throat open. After that, perhaps I’ll carve my name into your forehead. That way, it couldn’t possibly slip your mind again.”

Blueblood yawned. “I didn’t really catch any of that. You started talking and I immediately started thinking about lunch. Could you get out of my way now?”

He made to walk past me, but I stepped in front of him. When he tried to do the same in the other direction, I followed, causing him to huff out angrily.

“Will you move, you idiot?” he blurted, cheeks flushed.

I smiled again. “Oh, I’m sorry. How clumsy of me. How’s this?”

I took a step towards him, making him take a step back. After a second step, his rump collided with the door behind him.

I asked pleasantly, “You’re not scared of me, are you?”

He couldn’t meet my eyes. “No. Why would I be? You’re nothing but a leech on this castle, and if it was up to me, I’d throw you out on your plot the moment I could. You’re only lucky my aunt’s such a wonderful—”

I put my hoof to his lips. “Shh. Shh. You’ve said plenty. Only now do I understand just why I’m about to do what I’m about to do. And my, oh, my do you deserve it. I won’t sugarcoat it, my prince. It’s going to hurt. Very much so.”

His eyes widened and his chin quivered. “What are you going to do?”

My shadow crossed over his face. “I’m going to destroy you, fully and completely, using a string of words.”

I lifted my scroll and let the end patter to the floor.

“Let’s begin. Did you know not a single guard likes you? Not even in the slightest? And when I say ‘single guard,’ that’s not merely a figure of speech. They took a survey. It took hours. And the vote came back that nobody likes you. Not even the night guards. How’s that even possible? You don’t even see them. What in Tartarus did you do to them?”

He replied stubbornly, “I don’t care! They work for my aunt so in turn they work for me. If they want to whisper behind my back, then that just shows how petty they are. Their words don’t mean a single thing to me.”

I leaned in, finally smelling the faint aroma of fear. “But their words do, my prince. I know they do.” I went back to the list. “Next: your mane. It’s silly and it’s dyed that color. Your natural color actually is—”

“You shut your mouth, you peasant!”

I looked at him. “I thought you didn’t care about the opinions of others?”

He hesitated. “I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I want to waste my time hearing—”

I pressed on. “It’s also well known that the one mare you’ve fallen for thinks you’re a complete fool.”

His chin quivered. “It’s her loss!”

“To date, you’ve written her twenty letters, four poems, two short stories, and a single drawing you threw into the trash after completion.”

“How can you possibly know all that?

I rolled my eyes. “I told you everyone hates you. That includes those ‘peasants’ that throw out your trash.”

“I’ll have them all fired!” he shouted.

I went back to the list. “Let’s see what happened when you tried asking her for a date, shall we? Was that the time you borrowed the castle band to play outside her window?”

“Say no more! Please!”

Already tears were forming in his eyes.

I scowled at him. “But we’ve only just begun.”

Twenty minutes later, I no longer viewed a fully grown stallion, but something akin to a leaking pipe. Half-way through the guards’ lengthy list, Blueblood collapsed to the ground and rocked himself back and forth, shaking his head as each new grizzly detail was fed to him.

When the list ran dry, I tossed it behind me, and for close to a minute I soaked up my masterpiece; the complete breakdown of a creature only using the power of words. It was overwhelmingly beautiful. I wished the sight could last forever.

I knelt to the floor and wrapped my legs around him. He was making me feel so evil; I felt I owed him a little.

I whispered into his ear, “You might think this is the part when I tell you everything I said was made up and that I’m sorry or something, but that’s not going to happen. You deserve each one of those words and more. I’m starting to believe you might be the most hated pony in all of Canterlot. That’s pretty bad, my prince. I enslaved an entire Empire and murdered thousands, and do you know what your guards did? They gave me pudding. What does that tell you?”

He turned his tearstained face to me. “Leave me alone! You’ve said enough!”

I patted his back, hopeful to squeeze out a few more drops.

“Maybe I have.”

Before I left him alone on the floor, I licked both of his cheeks and swallowed his tears.

They were almost as delicious as the gargantuan amount of pudding that followed.

REGARDING PUNISHMENTS

It wasn’t long before I was royally punished for what I’d done to Blueblood. For close to three days, he stayed in his room, demanding bowl after bowl of strawberry ice cream and recently fluffed pillows. I would have pitied the poor soul, but that had never been in my nature. Above all, I pitied myself.

“This place smells,” I mumbled to myself, precariously balanced on a rickety stool near the corner.

I glanced around the stallion’s washroom again, simmering quietly and silently cursing each and every pony that dared enter and use the facilities.

I was told to hoof out candy and mints and small towels.

I was also told the janitor would be getting the day off, meaning I could expect a long night of mopping and lemon scented chemicals.

Less than two minutes into the job, I ate all the candy and mints and threw the towels into the toilet.

When the first stallion of the day entered, I suddenly missed my old reception job.

When the fourth stallion of the day entered, I began thinking of non-lethal ways of chopping off my snout.

By the twelfth stallion, I was honestly contemplating apologizing to Blueblood for my list of remarks, but if I did that I’d need to apologize to Celestia, as well. So with that in mind, I tried not to breathe and listened to the music of the washroom. I wouldn’t recommend the experience.

Then I thought of something else I’d recently done to Celestia.

Two days prior to Blueblood’s verbal assault, I was delivered a package by a mail mare. My duties told me that I was to pass any such mail directly to whom it was addressed, but how could I resist opening something sent to the Princess of the Sun?

Using my quill, I ripped open the thin package and found a hundred or so identical pages of scroll. At the top was printed the royal Canterlot seal, and near the bottom was Princess Celestia’s personal signature, as official as could be. She must have been a busy Princess, indeed, not even having the time to scribble her own name.

Suddenly, I found myself with the overwhelming desire to send a few “official” letters.

From Royal Canterlot Castle:

Dearest Donut Joe,

I have watched you from a distance for some time now, but no longer can I keep my feelings quiet. You are a dedicated pastry connoisseur and at night, alone in my bed, I imagine holding you next to me. I imagine your hooves, messy with flour and dough, grabbing at me in heated passion, our tongues clashing for muzzle supremacy. The taste of your honey glaze so lovingly coating each one of your decadent treats has spread throughout the castle like wildfire and no longer can I remain silent about what I want from you.

I want you, Donut Joe. And I want your honey glaze poured overtop of me.

I don’t mind getting messy, as long as I have someone with skill to help clean it off.

Patiently waiting whenever you’re ready, Princess Celestia.

The next day, a red faced Donut Joe pushed through the castle doors, dropping a sealed bucket to the floor.

“Which way is Celestia’s room?” he asked, breathing heavy.

I pointed towards the stairs. “Three doors down and to the left. Don’t bother knocking. She doesn’t like that.”

He nodded. “Thanks.” Then he was off up the stairs, teeth wrapped tight around his bucket of glaze.

One splash and one scream later, I laughed myself to the floor.

While I thought of cheerier times and glazed Celestias, I barely noticed a Crystal Empire stallion enter the washroom. One look in my direction, he stopped and stared. After a brief chuckle, he left.

When the door closed, my stomach did a flip.

I had a very bad feeling about this.

A few minutes later, the same stallion returned, but not alone. Trailing behind him was another dozen crystal stallions, chuckling and murmuring. I had completely forgotten about the yearly “Canterlot Crystal Ponies Tour.”

Over the next few hours, the horrors and atrocities done in that washroom made me rethink my entire duration as King of the Crystal Empire. Perhaps I should’ve gone a tad easier on all of them.

Regarding Bonus Chapters: Canterlot Arc 2

REGARDING MINIONS

Since most guards were well aware of the Blueblood incident, I found myself with extra room to wander the castle and its grounds. Bolt, more often than not, still hung close to my side, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t leave him behind. It was easy while in the maze-like flower gardens that grew at the other end of the castle.

A few days ago, I was enjoying an apple under the shade of a tree, mesmerized by the stone water fountain in the center of the yard. Considering the statue above it was one of Celestia’s likeness and her gratuitous derriere, I began wondering just how I might acquire a chisel and hammer. I’d lost track of my days here long ago, almost accepting my fate as Canterlot receptionist—so what better way to be remembered for all time than by carving “SOMBRA WAS HERE” into the Princess of the Sun’s plot?

I chuckled and finished my apple, throwing it into a bush.

I was musing again. More and more often, I found myself lost in my thoughts.

Thoughts of escape, thoughts of death, thoughts of murder. The usual stuff.

What pulled me from such whimsical ponderings was a pegasus guard standing in my view.

In his hoof, he held a piece of parchment which he read from. “Aren’t you sick and tired of your ruler’s disgusting tyranny? Don’t you wish for a more stable economic plan? Aren’t you worn out from being told what to do by a pair of imbecilic mares? Have you ever thought about the exciting prospect of minion work?”

He looked up from the note, one brow cocked.

“This is yours, isn’t it?”

My cheeks flushed and I chewed on my tongue. “I have no idea what you mean. And where did you even get such a note?”

“It was on the communication board. All of them, actually, right next to the advertisement for used patio furniture.”

I tapped my hooves together. “What else does the note say?”

“It’s clearly some kind of job application. Work would entail: treason, murder, assault, short-tempered boss, cave-like work environments, sadistic use of whips, eighty-hour work week, overwhelming likelihood of death, Sundays off.”

He hoofed the parchment over; the one I’d written and copied and posted around the castle wherever I could. While I wasn’t about to start a rebellion one stallion at a time, I thought I could at least test the waters a bit.

I couldn’t have been the only castle employee that wanted Celestia’s detached head on a spit.

I said casually, “Sounds tempting. Sure wish I could join.”

The guard snorted. “You can cut the act, Sombra, everyone knows they’re yours. You really think you could start some uprising right inside the castle?”

“Maybe.”

“What’s your benefits package?”

I didn’t understand. “My what?”

He sighed. “Canterlot’s benefits are some of the best. If I were to come work for you, I’d need to know I’d be covered.”

I still didn’t understand. “Wouldn’t the opportunity to bask in my opulent glory be enough for you?”

He shook his head. “Nope. I’d need dental and vision, to start. Retirement. Worker’s comp. Disability. That wouldn’t hurt, either. And you’ll need to pay for any overtime that comes up.”

I blanched. “Pay? I never said anything about paying you!”

He grimaced. “Then I don’t think you’ll be getting a lot of volunteers, Sombra.”

Abruptly, I stood and went to him. “Wait! Wait a minute!” I placed a hoof on his shoulder. “Think of it like this! You could be my second in command. You could follow my orders to perfection and one day you could throw down your life for me. Or, you’ll displease me at some point, and I’ll kill you myself. Either way, it’s a win-win scenario for everyone involved.”

He glared at me. “You’re insane, aren’t you?”

I smiled. “Makes the job a tad more interesting, don’t you think? What’s mean old boss Sombra gonna do today? What’s that? He killed hench-pony 21 and 24? Sounds like he’s sure in a mood!”

The guard didn’t seem as thrilled with the job offer as he should’ve been.

He closed his eyes and brought a hoof to his temple. “I already know I’m going to regret asking, but what would my first assignment be?”

“Killing Celestia, of course.”

“Just go and off the most influential alicorn in all of existence.”

“Yep. Maybe poison her soup or something. I’ll leave the decision up to you, though. Another perk of the job.”

“Then what?”

“Kill Luna.”

“I doubt she’ll fall for poisoned soup after Celestia did.”

“Maybe poisoned stew.”

The guard sighed again and removed my leg from his shoulder. “I think I’m going to pass on the job offer, Sombra. The job I have now is pretty safe as is.”

I frowned; the images of Celestia overthrown by her own guards and staff seeming more and more like some dream. How could they not understand what an amazing opportunity this was?

“I haven’t even mentioned Taco Tuesdays.”

He shook his head. “Thanks, but no thanks, Sombra. Good luck with the whole uprising and all.”

The guard strolled back towards the castle, leaving me in the suddenly chilly shade of the tree. He had made a mistake that day, I knew. Hopefully, the look on his face as I marched him towards the guillotine would suffice the feeling of rejection filling up my heart.

As the blade would ride down to his neck, he would scream, “I regret my earlier decision!” and I would nod, and agree at what a silly, silly pony he had been.

A week later, I held my first job opening. Only a single applicant came forward—a youthful guard in training whose hatred of Celestia’s was evident in an instant. Turned out, she’d forgotten his name once and never apologized for it.

I would have signed him up for team Sombra in a heartbeat, but one unforgiving detail forced me to cancel out arrangement.

He said he didn’t like tacos.

REGARDING HARSH REALITIES

It was in the middle of another overnight shift that it happened—when the overwhelming weight of my plight finally sunk deep into my skin and wouldn’t go away. For weeks, I’d denied it—called it something else and thought about escape and bloody vengeance—but the more time I spent at that desk, and the more time I really thought about my chances of victory, the more I started to crumble around the edges.

I couldn’t even concentrate on the latest crossword I’d received from that annoying mare Twilight Sprinkles.

In one sluggish movement, I whimpered and put my head to my desk. The noise was enough to catch Bolt’s attention.

He looked into my lifeless eyes. “You okay there, Sombra?”

I moaned again.

“You want a coffee or something?”

“No.”

“Another crossword? A book?”

“No.”

“Then what’s the matter?”

“Everything,” I grumbled. “Absolutely everything.”

He waved a hoof. “Oh, now you’re talking nonsense. Things can’t be that bad for you.”

I found I didn’t have the energy to lift my head. That was fine, though. I was used to being depressed. I told him, “Imagine you’re in my place, Bolt. Can you do that? Good. Imagine you’re brought back from the dead against your consent and are told that everything about you needs to change. Your very belief system is considered wrong and your entire character needs to be gutted and replaced. You have no way of fighting your suppressors and the one task you’re given is meaningless and dull. The Princess considers you more of a personal project than a real stallion, all to tell the world, if he can be changed, then anyone can. And perhaps most distressing of all is that the very serious prospect of death has been taken away from you. You kill yourself repeatedly to escape these tortures. And every time they bring you back, and return you to this chair.”

Bolt’s chin started to quiver, his pupils shrinking.

I continued in monotone, “You’re immortal, and so is your jailer, and the only way out is to destroy your original self and agree to every one of their demands, otherwise you will remain in a constant void of misery and torture. No one likes you. You don’t like them. And soon you find you don’t even like yourself. You have nothing to live for, but have no means of claiming something new, or even ending all the pain. So you wait, and you wait, and soon enough you find the waiting to be the hardest part of all, because you realize the waiting will never end.”

At the end of my little speech, Bolt burst into tears and wailed loud enough to echo off the walls. Before I’d had a chance to react, he wrapped himself around me and sobbed into my mane. As deflated as I was, I merely lay there and took it.

He said far too loud, “I’m so sorry! Oh, Celestia, what are we doing? This is sick! This is just sick! We’ve gone too far this time, we have! I had no idea, Sombra, I’m so sorry! What has become of us if even those in charge could do such a thing to another pony?”

His overabundance of tears coated my mane. Tiredly, I patted his head.

I mumbled, “There, there. There, there, Bolt. It’s not your fault. It’s only the job you were given, or something along those lines.”

He wouldn’t stop crying. Or touching me.

“Take comfort in the fact that I wouldn’t hesitate doing the exact same to you. Or anyone else in this castle.”

Bolt seemed not to hear. “This isn’t why I became a guard! What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with everyone here?”

The endless stream of tears was starting to get to me. I awkwardly pushed him away, his legs fighting to hold on.

I sat up in my seat and informed the tear-stained guard, “Never mind. I take it all back. Forget what I said.”

Bolt wiped at his face. “What? What do you mean?”

“I lied. I’m actually having a great time being stuck here. I absolutely love not being able to leave or die or have opinions of my own. I simply have trouble expressing my overabundance of joy.”

He stared at me curiously. “Really?”

“Sure, why not. Just stop leaking all over me.”

He sniffled. “Okay. Sorry. I’ll go… stand by the door again.”

I shooed him away. “Good. You go do that. Fly, fly, Bolt. Fly, fly.”

When Bolt returned to his usual spot, I started my half-finished crossword again. Although what I vented to Bolt held true, his reaction had my mind in a whirl. My strength and magic had all but been stripped of me, leaving me close to useless. Still, that wouldn’t stop my mind and my mouth from doing whatever it could to get the rest of itself out of this Tartarus-hole.

REGARDING THE POWER OF WORDS

I’d spent most of the morning practicing all forms of argument. Since I was to begin a nightshift in a hoofful of hours, I sprawled out in bed and went over every potential outcome. It was time, I felt; time to get out of this place and back into a seat of power, even if I’d need to find a new batch of magic to refill my stolen supply.

Trusty Bolt proved easiest to coerce.

“Did you hear that?” I asked from my desk, head angled to the side.

“Hear what?” Bolt asked.

My eyes went wide. “That! It did it again! Something must be leaking on the floor above, I’m sure of it!”

Bolt came over. “I don’t hear anything, Sombra.”

“That’s because you never pay attention. But I’m sure I keep hearing things, like running water. Maybe there’s flooding upstairs.”

Bolt pondered for a moment. “I highly doubt that.”

I clicked my tongue. “I’m sure Celestia would just love to pay for the water damages done to her castle while you stood around and did nothing.”

Bolt anxiously tapped his hoof against the floor. “You’re sure you’re hearing this?”

I nodded. “Absolutely.”

He wavered. “Okay, I’ll go check it out, but you got to stay put, all right?”

I grinned. “Would I lie to you, Bolt?”

He nodded. “Yes. Yes, you would.”

Even if I was outright lying to him at the time, I felt a little hurt. Bolt wasn’t my friend, but he was still… well, he was Bolt. Let’s leave it at that. “Well, I’m not, so get going.”

Bolt bounded for the stairs, and as soon as his last hoof disappeared from sight, I ran to the doors. Carefully, I nudged one open and sucked back the cool night air.

The moon was full overhead and a smattering of night guards patrolled among the clouds; a half-dozen other stallions routinely sweeping the castle grounds in a march, each one alone and holding a weapon at its side. With luck, I’d only run into a few of them. With more luck, my notions of making others uncomfortable with only words would lead to my escape that night.

I sank to the ground and sidled up to a row of hedges. I made it half-way down the lawn before a guard flashed his light on me, pinning me to the spot.

He lowered his light and chuckled. “You really think we wouldn’t see you, Sombra? It’s not like you’re the most well known occupant in the castle or anything.” He hooked a leg under one of mine. “Come on, I’ll bring you back. Maybe I’ll be nice and keep this little adventure to myself.”

I stood my ground and roughly flicked his leg away. “Actually, guard, as odd as it may seem, it was not the idea of escape that brought me out here this evening, but actually you.”

The guard pondered. “I think this is the first time I’ve ever said a single word to you, Sombra. I highly doubt you even know my name.”

I took a step towards him, and he took one back. “And more than anything I want that to change. I want to know everything about you, truly, I do.” I awkwardly dug a hoof into the grass and glanced away. “For far too long have I sat behind my desk, watching you from a distance. I know you are a passionate guard and take your job more serious than most. Although, underneath it all, are you not a lonely stallion, as well?”

The guard’s cheeks flushed red as his eyes went wide. “What… umm…”

I took another step forward, causing him to retreat into the hedge. Now he was out of room to back away.

I placed a hoof under his chin. “Why must two lonely souls deny themselves the company of each other?” I tilted my head to look at the rest of him. “Especially given a stallion as alluring as you.”

He gulped thickly. “This was not what I expected, and I am so uncomfortable right now.”

I tipped him a wink. “I’m sure I could make you comfortable.”

The guard began climbing over the hedge and away from me. “I need to go patrol some more… so how ‘bout you don’t escape and I’ll go over in this direction, okay?”

I heard him smack against the dirt on the other side of the hedge before sprinting towards the castle.

I grinned with every tooth in my head.

“One down. How many more to go, I wonder?”

It ended up being three. Another two guards on patrol spotted me along my slow crawl out of Canterlot, and each one I sent back running towards home. Each time as I watched their closely guarded plots scurry into the distance, I laughed until tears trickled from my eyes. Once on the move again, I started to wonder if it was a good or a bad thing I was doing so well at all this.

So for a long while, I stopped and pondered just that. Then I mentally crammed all that unwanted sexual and psychological questioning back into the repressed section of my head and sealed it shut with chains.

I could afford a personal revelation some other time. Tonight was my escape.

“So close, so close, so close…” I whispered, as I approached the bridge out of town. I was so excited I could hardly keep my hooves from shaking.

I crossed under one of the many lampposts illuminating the street as the sound of wings caused me to press into the ground. Perhaps I could become one with the shadows once more.

Approaching hoofsteps told me that would not be the case.

“I can see you, you know,” the guard said above me. “Making it this far, you’re in a lot of trouble, Sombra. I hope for your sake you didn’t hurt anyone to get out here.”

Still face-down on the road, I rolled my eyes and prepared for my next performance. I hoped this would be my last.

I turned to look at him, adding a hint of longing to my eyes. “It’s… it’s you. I can’t tell you how happy I am to finally speak with you.”

The guard furrowed his brows and roughly pulled me up. “Save whatever speech you had prepared. I don’t care. Come on. Get walking.”

He poked the blunt end of his spear into my side. I didn’t budge.

I said, “Please, give me a moment to explain. I’ve worked so hard to get here tonight, hoping to see you, to talk with you.”

He nudged me again. “Well, now you’ve done both. So shut up and move.”

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?”

The pegasus grimaced. “What?”

I took a step towards him. “Because it’s true. I’ve seen you around the castle; patiently waiting for you to stop by my desk. You’ve denied me so many times already…”

“Why would I need directions? I work here.”

So close to the edge of Canterlot and the possibility of freedom, I decided to hurry events along. I must admit I was a better actor than I’d ever believed, but even I was starting to give myself the creeps.

I placed my hoof on his cheek. “Don’t you ever feel alone in this world?”

His eyes went from me to the hoof touching him.

“That doesn’t need to be, my gentle stallion.”

A hint of red found its way to his face, and I waited for him to spin around and trot back to safety. What happened instead, I’d not foreseen.

He wrapped his own leg around mine and said softly, “You really mean that?”

Small stars dotted his eyes as I struggled to think. “Yes. Totally. Umm… all those things I said before.”

I tried pulling my leg back, but he held on tight.

“I must say this is a welcome surprise, Sombra. Of all the stallions in Canterlot… the fact that you… it’s more than weird.” He smiled gently. “But I can’t deny how dark and mysterious you seem, or how suave you are.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong about any of that. But this was still going a little too far.

I choked out, “Then maybe you should trot back to the castle and write about it in your musings. How does that sound?”

He pulled my leg towards him. “You know, the night is still young, and I happen to know a secluded spot around here. What do you say to that, handsome?”

The hunger in his eyes made me crave my boring desk again.

Abort! my mind screamed. Abort with haste!

I stammered, “Maybe it’s best if we go back to the castle. I did try to escape and all.”

He shook his head. “Nonsense. I’ll bring you back later. It’s all right if you’re nervous. I’m nervous, too.”

With my leg still in his grasp, he pulled me away from the bridge. He starting talking about the sky and what a beautiful night it was, but I heard little of it.

I tried prying my weak leg away from him. “You’re oddly strong, aren’t you?”

He grinned. “Thanks. I get that a lot.”

A shadowy thick of trees lay a few meters ahead. I blinked sweat from my eyes.

I turned my head to the sky. “Luna? A little help?”

No alicorn descended to disrupt my sudden date.

Begrudgingly, I looked back at the castle. “Celestia? You can come punish me now if you like.”

No savior appeared.

In the shade of the trees, the pegasus released me to take off his helmet. With his back turned, I knocked him out with a nearby rock, sending him off to Luna-land.

Along the grass I watched him snooze, his gentle smile gone. I almost felt bad for the stallion. He seemed like a really nice guy.

REGARDING MOMENTARY FREEDOM

I crossed the bridge and took my first step off the Canterlot grounds. My hooves shook and I almost felt like dancing in my spot—the only problem being, I don’t dance.

I scanned the small path that led away from the bridge and giggled to myself mischievously. It had all been so easy. Why hadn’t I tried it before? To celebrate, I knew I’d need to start my reign of evil at once.

Then I thought of my complete lack of magic or strength.

I walked the road and came across a small path that connected to a house. At the edge of the lawn were a series of potted plants and a single row of daisies. “It begins!” I said as diabolically as I could. First, I knocked over each potted plant and stomped them into the dirt. Then I plucked out each flower with my teeth to munch upon. While chewing and grimacing from the taste, I strolled towards the house and found their recycling bins to the side of their welcome mat.

“My evil reign continues!”

I ground my dirty hooves into their mat before rearranging their recycling incorrectly. Wouldn’t they be in a kerfuffle come next garbage day?

A bead of sweat trickled down my temple as I tried knocking down their mailbox. Having about the strength of a filly, it took a couple dozen hits or more. But I knew my newfound wrath would pull me through.

Once the mailbox was defeated and on the grass, I jumped atop its metal frame and flattened it instantly. Bemused, I wondered if the past few months of sitting and eating might have increased my girth in a negative way.

Then I laughed heartily. Villains didn’t worry about their weight. Plus, I’d soon have a new cape to cover the extra rolls.

After relieving myself in their destroyed flower patch, I took a moment and surveyed my work. It was childish and silly, yes, but it was still a start. In no regard was I ready to become the Equestrian menace known as King Sombra right out of the gate. First, I’d need to find a way to regain my stolen powers. Perhaps I could leech off some unicorn, devour their very essence.

That sounded threatening, didn’t it?

Before leaving the scene, I held a rock in one hoof, preparing to toss it through the front window. I brought my leg back and whipped it forward, listening for the crash. When none came, I searched the road for another rock and found one identical to the first.

I shrugged it off and balanced it on my hoof again, only for it to disappear and return to the side of the road.

A chill crept up my spine. Now I found the need to make haste up the road.

I trotted hard, uncaring of the noise of my hooves along the path. Overhead came the steady beat of wings, lazily pushing against the air. I didn’t bother to look up. Only run.

I mumbled out, “Not like this… I’ve come too far. It’s not fair. It’s not damn fair.”

I came to a sudden stop when Princess Luna descended to the center of the path ahead of me. She seemed less than impressed, almost disappointed.

“You made it a respectable distance, Sombra, but now I must return you to the castle.”

I hitched in a breath. “No! I don’t want to go back! You can’t make me! I’ll kill you if you try!”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Threats will do you no favors here.”

I lowered my head and growled. I charged for her. Once close enough, I leapt into the air and tried striking her with a leg. Effortlessly, she blocked me with a hoof, sending me spiraling to the ground.

Now my leg hurt as well as my ribs. So did my pride.

I frowned and looked up to her. “Luna, can’t you look the other way this time? I promise I won’t kill you without fair warning.”

She took a step towards me and sighed. “If it were my sister’s watch, then perhaps I would. But since I am sworn to protect the night from all villainy and those that would do my subjects harm, I cannot let you continue. So, no, I will be escorting you back to the castle at once.”

I pouted and kicked at a pebble. “I’m still evil, you know.”

She put a hoof on my shoulder. “Yes, Sombra, I am sure you are.”

“I hit someone with a rock tonight. And I ruined someone’s garden.”

She patted me like a colt. “I am sure all the papers will make mention of your villainous spree come the morning sun. Shall we return you to the castle now?”

I continued to silently pout.

“Will you walk with me or do I need to drag you there?”

I crossed my legs over my chest and frowned. Why did it feel as though the whole world was suddenly against me? When had I become the epicenter of mockery? As though some simple buffoon with a quill that could control my life had decided to ruin it at every possible opportunity? I, personally, didn’t see the fun in it.

Luna sighed again. “Fine. I will drag you back. Please avoid the temptation to kick and scream as I do.”

“No promises,” I said, before a blue aura wrapped around my tail, pulling me up the road.

As my plot guided me back towards the castle, I first wondered if things could ever get any worse. Each twig dug into my side, along with every rock and bump I went over. What hurt the most, though, was that I’d made it all the way out of Canterlot before being caught—halted by my second most hated nemesis.

And to think at some point, I thought Luna cute.

Chapter 1: Regarding Jobs, Bad Ideas, and Roofs

REGARDING MY JOB

I came back into this world not of my own accord but by that of my tormentor—the one that greets me each morning with that punctual smile, always followed by that curt nod. I arrive only a few minutes before her every horrendous day and am now starting to wonder if she times her entrances with mine.

Celestia usually starts her mornings with a few sips from her small tea cup while hovering a lengthy scroll near her head—whatever treachery she must have planned for the day. When I see her coming I lower in my hard-back seat and try to concentrate on the black coffee I fetch for myself each morning. Sometimes it feels like the only thing I have going for me.

“Good morning, Sombra,” she always says brightly. “Busy day I assume?”

I regard her with the same wrath that has made the weak scream for a pittance of mercy and the strong shiver in their armor. I bore everything into both red and green eyes and wish the high ceiling above would suddenly cave in and take the white alicorn to the floor in a hurry. Most mornings I hope for a lot of things, but alas seldom few are granted. Instead of receiving any of the things I wish for, I only cling desperately to my warm cup and say nothing at all.

“In time you’ll thank me, Sombra,” she says this particular morning, uncaring of the plight she’s placing on me or unaware of the doom that’s steadily coming her way. (I haven’t worked out all the details of the pre-mentioned doom but it’s always coming.) “I don’t think a single villain started off evil, Sombra, so why should their actions label them forever? Give it time, and I’m sure you’ll come to welcome friendship just as much as Discord has.”

I loudly sip my coffee and as I watch her I feel my eyes grow dry as I try not to blink. If she thought I was just another nut to crack, she was plainly wrong. She was dealing with a King and she only hadn’t noticed yet. My time was coming, I knew.

“Just stay off the roof, okay?”

She tips me a wink and I feel a wash of blood rush to my face. I damn my body for the injustice done to me, yet can’t stop the reaction. My only hope is that my darkened appearance masks any such blemishes. She just had to mention it, hadn’t she?

REGARDING BAD IDEAS

Months ago, Princess Celestia decreed that all notable villains should be given a second chance to discover the magic of friendship for their own wellbeing. A creature by the name of Discord (I’d never heard of him either, but if he’s been under Celestia’s torment for the years he’s been around, I pity him more than most) was the first of such nefarious baddies to be strapped down and forced into the cult of friendship and overall good-natured-ness. Whatever they had done to him—whatever sick, and twisted acts they had performed on the poor soul—had altered his very identity and made him a type of model citizen for the rest of Equestria to gaze upon.

Congrats, Celestia. Really. Wonderful job. Not only must you defeat your adversaries, but now you must rub their faces in the dirt—remind them of their loss and force them to spend countless hours with the very ones that had originally brought them to their knees. And I always thought I was a monster most foul. I never could have guessed just how far these heroes of ours would go. Do they not know of the dance we do? The intertwining dynamic that creates positively exciting existence from the delicate balance of good versus evil?

Discord had been revived from his stone prison for all of three seconds and then instantly thrown through the grinding friendship machine. From what I had heard, a pegasus of yellow and pink had done the dirty work and every day behind my desk when I see a mare with pink mane do I slide down behind my counter as far as I can go (although my elongated horn makes such immature tactics close to impossible to pull off). For days they must have tortured him. Thrown him on a rack until every natural villainous calling had been wiped clean before they must have re-trained him the way Celestia would have wanted him to be. Although I never would have classified Discord as one of the greats (I hear he did chaos, but mostly… messy and not woefully evil chaos), it was still hard to hear of one of my brethren forcibly changed against their will.

Yet he had had a better chance than myself.

Discord had been able to keep his magical abilities—for use in the department of helpful activities. I was never allowed any such reprieves. Even now, as I keep my head bent and try to dodge as many absentminded questions from wayward ponies as possible, I scarcely make the quill to the page, a light sweat already boarding around my wonderfully styled mane. On good days I will store as much extra magic as I can, fill out the forms and busy work balancing a quill between two awkward hooves, all in the attempt at being able to write with more accuracy later on.

While Discord had been released from stone, I was brought back to life from a chunk of bone that had been thrown clear of my Crystal Empire. It’s not often I like to recall my horrifically unnerving day of defeat, but sometimes when I’m asked the same question for the tenth time in a row from ponies visiting Canterlot castle (“Two doors down on the left”), I almost wish I was beaten even more than I had been. Find my bones. Dig them up. Pound them to dust. At least then I wouldn’t be here in Canterlot, sitting behind this desk and waiting for one of several things to occur: for my tormentors to lose hope and place me back into the blackened void known as death; for them to slip up enough to make my escape and triumphant return; or for myself to wake up in a cold sweat, back in my Empire over a thousand years ago. Sadly, choice number one is the only one that grows more prevalent in my head. Anyway, the roof.

REGARDING THE ROOF

After being brought back from wonderful death and after first glaring at every Princess that sat before me (there were like… four of them—even some purple one I had completely forgotten existed), I was told of my punishment in lue of my lifetime of misdeeds. I was to help the daily operations of the Canterlot castle, and with any hope, some of what I should bear witness to would rub off on my blackened heart. My initial response wasn’t so much a well retorted argument about how change should never be forced upon others and that these alicorns shouldn’t try and play creator with those they’d deem below them, but more so myself laughing around on the floor until tears welled up in both eyes. Not only had they brought me back from the dead and delivered me right to their very hub of operations, but they planned on giving me free reign to mingle with the populace that passed through it. My, oh my, how times had changed.

“You are serious?” I had asked Celestia, back when I would have considered my outwardly guile resembling something close to a ruler.

“Very,” she told me, a shine of determination set in her eyes. “Every one deserves a second chance, Sombra. Even you.”

“Then I must thank you, Celestia.”

I smiled at them all. Let every fang hang out in the air. This was to be the last time that I’d see them, so I wanted to leave on a somewhat professional note. I would start with the purple one—the one that had bested my traps all those many years ago. The pink one would charge soon after, I knew, but she would be done away with hastily. (I could never imagine the Princess of Love somehow turning into the Princess of Combat overnight, not with that slender frame of hers.) I would bathe in their youthful blood as Celestia and Luna would unite to put a swift end to me. Remembering what had occurred the last time we sparred, I would unveil a new tactic that would all but guarantee my victory. Then Equestria would find itself under new rule.

But when I focused all my rage and hate upon the smallest alicorn of them all, did only a small lock of her mane slide in front of her eyes. Bemused, she huffed it away.

“Ugh,” I grunted, as I focused my blood-red horn to her.

The same batch of hair fell to her nose. “Stop that!” she yelled at me.

I tried something new on each of the alicorns glaring down on me, only to come away with close to the same result. They had robbed me of my magic—my talent. As well as nearly all my physical strength and the crown I wore atop my head.

Following my little outburst, Celestia regarded me warmly. “I should thank you for bringing up my next point, Sombra. Until you are deemed a friend to Equestria, your magical abilities will be limited severely. If you have any hope of being granted them again, I would try and find the good inside you as soon as possible. We are all here to help—not hurt you, as you might think.”

By her side, Luna stood to face me. “And if you should try a single thing out of order, monster, I will not hesitate to put you down again!”

In just a few choice words, Celestia had ripped open a hole in my chest, upending the order of the world as I knew it. At least Luna was not following the abysmal change of tactic as orderly as the rest. Quite empty inside at that moment, I mouthed the words, “Thank you,” to her and sat back down on the suddenly cold ground. Next they took me to my cell.

Even though my cell had no real bars to speak of or to bang my head against when some days seem to drag out for eternity, I would have preferred a place in the deepest pits of Tartarus over such a room. A circular desk, chin height with a shelf underneath lined with dozens of document holders. A few meters directly in front of that were four glass doors that fed out into the Canterlot courtyard—the hustle and bustle of hundreds of ponies mere steps from my workstation.

For a solid minute I regarded my desk: the hard, black swivel seat behind it; the silver bell atop the counter; the “Please ask for assistance” sign that sat opposite the bell. I viewed over a patiently waiting Celestia and in my mind, told her, “No, thank you.” What actually came out was, “I’d rather die all over again than possibly sit here, for hours a day, on display for all your guests.” Because, isn’t that what she was exactly doing to me? “Look, everyone, look!” Celestia would cry to her throngs of devoted followers. “Remember that tyrant King from so long ago? Now he works reception! Really! Go ask him a question and he’ll answer it! He works for me now and now I’m rubbing his nose in it! Seriously! Touch his mane! It isn’t fake I swear!”

“I told you this wouldn’t work,” Luna said from behind her sister, already pursing her lips in annoyance. “Even your attempts on the reformed Discord have been hit and miss at best.”

Luna will die last, I told myself that bleak day. It will be quick, too. She has shown she is far above such ridiculousness as this.

Celestia bared down on her sister. “Luna, we will not get anywhere with attitudes like that. The friendship that Twilight has shown me over the years has done a lot to sway my opinion on even our worst nemesis. What is so wrong about trying a different ploy in the singular goal of peace? How do you fathom Sombra will feel if even my own sister does not believe in his rehabilitation?”

“I’d think I hate her a lot less than you, Celestia,” I said, well away from my desk of punishment.

Celestia huffed and stormed from the room, not before lifting me up and setting me down in the small chair behind the counter. Once my plot hit the seat I could hardly keep my mouth from trembling. No one had ever moved me as easily as then. No one had ever told me what to do… and then made me do it. But this was still during the time when I thought this might be nothing more than a fever dream and not cold, harsh reality.

So what else was there to do but press on?

For a time I fiddled with documents and read a few lines of fine print, trying to grasp the enemy stronghold along with all of its dealings. This only made my eyes nearly water from the small print, so instead I glared at the set of glass doors ahead. Maybe I could out-bore my own dream, I had thought foolishly. The wall clock behind me ticked away loudly. Every few seconds a new colorful pony would trot across the entryway outside, and each time my stomach would sink at the very thought of one of them entering here and seeing me. Then it happened.

A pink mare with green and white mane trotted in with a notebook in tow. She watched me with a quizzical expression before smiling at me. Not a returned expression.

“You must be new!” she exclaimed, as though every sentence should be uttered loudly and with enthusiasm.

I blinked slowly. “I won’t be around for long.”

Oddly, she laughed at my statement. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. Could you tell me where the historical archives are?”

I sighed. “I don’t know.”

She waved it off. “That’s okay, I’m sure I’ll find it. Is this your first day?”

Something began to throb in my temple. I repeated, “I won’t be around for long.”

Horrifically, her look changed from one of simple joy to one of concern. Before I had a chance to move away, she snatched up one of my resting forelegs from the counter and held it between two of her own. “Don’t think like that! Don’t you dare think like that!” Her all consuming eyes never left my horrorstruck pair. “Everyone has trouble on their first day, but soon I’m sure you’ll get everything down pat and know just about everything. A good attitude can always help, too, you know.”

I said not a word and only concerned myself with my lost leg trapped between her warm hooves.

Finally, she noted my trepidation. “Or… you know, showing up on time and being punctual can help.” Then she did something I hadn’t seen coming. Still clutching my poor, weak limb, she pulled at it until my chest hit the desk and she wrapped both legs around my darkened shoulders.

She had hugged me.

Some peasant stranger from Canterlot thought she could embrace the King without his permission. And I had done nothing about it—could barely do anything about it.

“Gah!” I muttered, as her mane tempted to tickle my snout.

“Well, good luck!” she said before departing, unhooking from me as my rear found my seat again.

Unsure of what had just happened I watched the clock behind me, sure that hours must have passed since first forced there against my will. Color drained from my face as I learned only twenty minutes had elapsed. It was then that I knew what I had to do.

The roof was easy to find once I discovered the stairwell. Celestia had sat myself down and kept a bubble on the King for the first ten minutes at best, but when she went too far or lost interest, I was sure I would be free to do as I please. The outside air felt wonderful in my lungs and as it gently pulled at the hair on my shoulders. It would have been a wondrous sight had I been left my cape and crown, but those items had been lost somewhere along the way.

I viewed the ground several dozen meters below and waited for a group of ponies to come galloping by. If I could time it right I could land on a bunch of them and then we’d all go out together—wouldn’t that put a damper in Celestia’s plan? After a few minutes of no one passing by at all, I dismissed the idea as more than likely someone would start looking for me soon. Without a single thought about pain or whether this height was even enough to finish the job again, I stumbled off the roof head first and waited for the ground to come greet me.

Celestia might have taken my powers and brought me back from the dead without my compliance, but that didn’t leave me completely without options. Another death was almost like another victory. Celestia’s new friendship plan hadn’t worked and the second villain she tried it on jumped off a roof. I honestly couldn’t see many more villains lining up for her treatment after that. My last thought before smearing across the sidewalk was just how easy a solution that had been. In my reawakening I had grown quite naive.

So came the blissful dark.

Chapter 6: Regarding Terms and Conditions, White Alicorns, and Paper Crowns

REGARDING TERMS AND CONDITIONS

Someone new had entered my rehabilitation group and I found myself forced to sit with all my legs covering every removable part of me.

Discord the draconequus sat pleasantly in his little seat, uncaring that he was practically derailing any such progress any pony had of making that day. He had never been there before and I highly doubt he was invited or asked to join. No. It was obvious why he was there, as his mismatched eyes would time and time again close in on mine. My simmering hate towards the creature had cooled immensely since our first encounter, yet I felt it only rise all over again with each invested stare.

He raised his paw into the air. “Is it time for pairs yet?” he asked our moderator, a large bluish bull that somehow kept everyone mostly in line.

“Not until three,” he told him, uncaring if he was new or not. “Until then it’s group discussion.”

Discord rolled his eyes inside their sockets until they came back around. Then he eyed the wall clock that read 2:15. With a silent snap he flipped it a minute before three. Then his eerie eyes found mine again, as I covered my snout and other valuable appendages.

“It’s three, Mr. Moderator,” he chirped.

“It is?” The bull eyed the clock and shrugged. “All right, I need a break anyways. Split up and get talking. Remember the group motto everyone: there’s good in us all, but only if we choose to find it.”

Ponies barely left their seats before Discord snapped himself behind me. Without asking, he lifted me up and set me down in another chair facing him. Even though I called Discord a walking clown on more than a hundred occasions since first viewing him, I had never been as scared sitting in close proximity to someone.

He tried to put me at ease with a smile. Baring a single fang along his thin wrinkled face, I quickly understood why villains practiced on “friendship” versions.

“Don’t be scared, friend,” he said. “I’m only here to help.”

I didn’t shift my legs from my face.

“I won’t remove any part of your body, Sombra. That was only a joke. And from what I hear you’re not very good at them either.”

He hardly knew of the powers I could wield if prompted, sitting behind a desk for eight hours a day. I could outwait him into eternity and my butt would barely cross over to numb.

His smile faded. “If you don’t talk to me I’ll just take away your legs and then I’ll have access to the rest of you. Seriously, Sombra, I’m only here to converse.”

Slowly, painfully, I relented and viewed the misshaped thing. “Did Celestia send you to me?”

“Nope. She doesn’t know I’m here at all.”

“Then why are you here?”

“To talk to you, silly Billy!” He edged his chair closer to mine. I retreated back an inch before a wall halted my escape. “Since you’re a friend of Equestria now, I figure you and I should become pals.”

“I’d rather be friends with a rock. They don’t talk as much.”

“You should meet Maud.”

“Who?”

He waved a hand. “Never mind. We’re getting sidetracked.” He hastily checked around for anyone close. Coming away with nothing, he said, “You’re being a fool not accepting what the Princesses are giving you.”

“What?” I had not seen that coming at all. “Admit defeat just like that? Who do you think I am? I’m a King! I won’t be destroyed by a few mere months of annoyance and stale rehabilitation cookies. It will take lifetimes before I am defeated.”

“Then you’re definitely a fool, Sombra,” he said tiredly. “Why fight something that won’t go away when you can manipulate it? Do you honestly think I’m all that good these days? That I’m truly a friend to anyone?” He paused to scratch his chin. “Well I am a friend to some, but that doesn’t mean I always play nice. When I was brought back from stone I was given the options of either being good or going back to my idle state. Which option do you think I’d take?”

“But they’ve given me no option at all,” I told him, uncaring that I was suddenly opening to the very draconequus that sat atop my list of destruction. “I’m to become a friend and that’s all there is to it. They won’t even let me die and go away.”

“Then become a friend, Sombra!” he exclaimed. “Become a friend and yet remain a villain. You know how much fun it is to get under Celestia’s skin?”

“I wouldn’t know of such a thing.”

He shook his head. “Then you haven’t lived, my friend. Not at all.”

It still felt like something was missing. “I heard you had the chance to doom everyone, that you had sided with someone named Tirek and then relented at the last minute. And that this happened after your reformation. Obviously there must be a piece of you that likes being friends with others—helping them when they need assistance. Why, I ask? Since this all began I’ve been trying to discover that answer on my own, but the only response I ever get is that it’s a feeling that warms your heart. I don’t like feelings, I like facts.”

The draconequus appeared serious for the first time. “Then maybe real friendship isn’t for you, Sombra. Although I might not play by the rules like others, friendship isn’t something I would trade for anything. It’s like an enema made out of sunshine that never goes away.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“You get used to it.”

Discord snatched another cookie from the communal plate and chewed a little too close to my face. I made mental note to scan for crumbs the moment I was free from him.

“But enough talk of gooey material,” he said. “I have the most interesting of notions that you might want to try on Celestia… all in the name of friendship, of course.”

Then he whispered into my ear what he had in mind.

REGARDING WHITE AND RED ALICORNS

Although she had been drinking from a cup of tea when I presented the notion, she didn’t do herself the injustice of spitting it onto her desk. Instead she silently choked on the tepid liquid while she tried to regain her normal regal composure.

“You… you want me to pardon you?” she asked plain-faced, setting her tea cup far, far away. “For… everything?”

“Yes.” I nodded, then gave her my friendship face. It was hurting less and less to do. “I think it would be rather friendly of you.”

At first I had balked at Discord’s little half-baked plan, but days later, when nothing of interest was in the works, I relented and asked to speak with the Princess. I only wished I had done so sooner—the draconequus had been right when he said annoying Celestia was an easy and fun way to pass the time. Only now I was curious as to where the conversation might go.

“Sombra, you…” the tall alicorn choked out, “…you enslaved an entire Empire; you tortured countless innocents and murdered untold more. You relished these facts—facts that you’ve done nothing but boast about since you arrived here. That seems like a lot to merely sweep under the rug.”

I lowered my friendly face. “I thought I was becoming a friend to Equestria, Celestia. Isn’t that why you keep bringing me back and making me work here? Attend those little meetings in the means to share feelings? How can I truly feel welcome if you continue to hover all of my misdeeds right atop of my head? Doesn’t a fresh start to everything sound best?”

Celestia shook her head. “You haven’t shown a single, solitary sign of remorse for what you’ve done, Sombra. Any type of pardon should only work both ways.”

I honestly hadn’t thought of that. Yes, I had talked a big game once I’d been brought back from the dead, explaining my villainous work to all that would listen. But in the last few weeks such discussions had all but disappeared. It was only when in rehabilitation that items of my deplorable work came to light. Still, what Celestia was asking of me was enough to twist my guts into a knot.

Celestia leaned across her desk, that simple smirk back on her face. She thought she had me. She really did. “Are you sorry for what you’ve done, Sombra? That’s the only way I’ll know if you’re truly deserving of a pardon.”

“Bleugh…” Something from breakfast tried to reenter my mouth. I swallowed thickly and couldn’t meet the alicorn’s eyes. “I’m…” I managed to emit, jaw quivering while both eyes twitched. “I’m… sorry.” I nearly whispered the last word.

“What was that?” she asked.

“I’m sorry!” I shouted back, wondering if that truly was the first time those two words had toppled from my mouth in that particular order.

Her mischievous grin only widened. “For what?”

“But—” I could tell from her expression she wanted to do this the hard way. She wanted me to exit her room in a huff and call it a day. She was tempting my bluff and yet wasn’t counting on one major thing: that I had absolutely nothing left to lose. I said timidly, “I’m sorry for enslaving ponies and for hurting them. And for those rare occurrences where I found the need to… end some of them. I guess I got a little carried away while I was King.”

Celestia leaned back in her seat, happy from the outcome. “It pleases me to hear you make such progress, Sombra. As far as I am concerned, I will no longer bring up your troubled past when I regard you.”

Now it was my turn to lean closer to her. “That’s very kind and all, but I wanted a pardon from you. An official one. In writing, if you please.”

With her mouth shut tight, the air escaping her lips sounded distinctly like a boiling kettle. “You really want a pardon for every crime you’ve ever committed?” she said awestruck.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Really?” She was almost pleading.

“Yes. I think it’s the only way to rebuild my new life as a good-natured simpleton. We’re friends, aren’t we, Celestia? Isn’t this something friends would do for one other?”

Specks of red dotted her cheeks and she eyed the nearby window wearily. She knew if she jumped out from it, I wouldn’t be able to follow. But it wouldn’t stop me from trying this all again some other time.

Half a day later I sat in my usual seat behind my desk and spun to stare at the new plaque that adorned my wall. After getting some assistant to draft up the official pardon, she begrudgingly signed her name on the dotted line (not before excusing herself to another room to, I believe, hyperventilate). Needless to say, I had come away with what I had wanted—aggravating my own tormentor by manipulating her own game, only far better and harder. It was only when I crossed my forelegs behind my head and stared at that framed document that the reality of what I’d just done finally sunk in.

“I’m officially not a villain anymore,” I said meekly.

REGARDING PAPER CROWNS

A reoccurrence was happening in the castle and I looked forward to it more than I thought I would. I was scheduled for a whole week on midnight duty and couldn’t be happier. Not only did that give me ample time and room from annoying everyday visitors that frequented the castle, but it also gave me time to study and write, as well as visit with a purple alicorn that was spending the week here.

Sometime between midnight and one she would trot into the foyer, sometimes nearly prancing in her step and sometimes moving lethargically. It was during those times I could tell she had been crying—and desperately I tried my best to get her to smile again. Since I had learned all too well that my sense of humor wasn’t completely up to par, I usually tried to strike at her intellect by reading from the latest book I had procured.

“You should think about going into voice work, Sombra. You’re not bad.”

I looked up from the page I was on. “What’s voice work?”

“It’s when they record ponies talking and then play it back. Some ponies narrate an entire book onto tape and then others buy them to listen to. If you read out mysteries or thrillers, I think ponies would really dig it.”

I was confused. “What exactly would they ‘dig’? I had always been told my voice was droll and listless.”

“Maybe your old voice, like when you first got here and wouldn’t say more than a few mean words to anyone, but I think your voice has softened since then.”

“And that’s a good thing?” It didn’t seem like it.

She nodded. “I think it is, but there’s something I wanted to show you.” She got up from her chair sat next to mine and trottedbehind the desk and out from view. I heard her pull a few items out of a bag. “I overheard awhile ago you ask for a red blanket because you were cold. Since no one really believed that, they gave you that pink one instead. That’s why I found you this.”

Onto the counter she laid out a thin red blanket with a string threaded through near the top. With her horn she lifted it over my head and tied it across my neck. The material would never match that of my original cape, I knew, yet I still welcomed such a gift. It felt good to have something around my neck and draped over my back again. And it also felt odd.

“And of course I wouldn’t forget this.”

Twilight lowered a simple paper crown to my head, fitting just so. I almost felt tingles from the very sensation of having any such circular crown atop my mane.

“I made it from some of your old crosswords, then sort of layered them together. It isn’t as elaborate as your old one, but I thought if you wanted to wear this at night when no one’s looking, that would be all right.”

I could hardly speak it was all too much. “I…”

The alicorn spun my chair to face her, regarding my new clothes like some painter with a blank canvas. When she noted my expression she grew concerned. “Are you okay, Sombra? I thought you’d like it?”

Something was pulsing around the corners of my eyes. I couldn’t understand any of this. “Why are you so nice to me?”

She said openly, “Because we’re friends, Sombra. And because I think there’s some good in you and it only needs the opportunity for it to show. I doubted you before but now I consider you a friend, and a very knowledgeable one at that.”

For weeks and months I had staved off the affection of others—turned into a makeshift rock when my rehabilitation group yearned for a welcoming embrace. How odd it was to find myself wrapping both forelegs around that tiny purple alicorn and holding her tight. She stiffened at first (I know I would have done the same), before gently returning the gesture. If there were to be a single page in this journal that I’d consider ripping out and eating to save face, it would probably be this one. When I not only stopped being a villain but also hugged the very pony that had defeated me during my less than triumphant return. It should have all felt like darkness and misery abound. Only it didn’t.

I finally parted from her and found a mildly flustered alicorn in front of me. Unanswered questions had been pulling at my thoughts for far too many days now and I decided then that no other opportunity would prove better. I still had very little to lose.

“Why do you cry at night, Twilight?” I tried to ask delicately. “If you aren’t visiting the castle to spend time with Celestia or Luna, who is it you’re here to see? And why do they make you feel that way?”

Twilight only grew more flustered. “I told you before I didn’t want to talk about it.”

“But now we’re friends and now I want to know.”

She closed her eyes and exhaled loudly. I wasn’t sure if she would continue or not. “My colt-friend lives and works here. He’s part of the guard. I’ve been seeing him for awhile now and lately we’ve been getting into arguments. I think it’s the distance that doing it—straining our relationship. I want him to come live in Ponyville and he wants me to come live here. Here’s enough good reasons for both, but I could never imagine being so far away from my other friends. I think I’m making too big a deal about certain things. A piece of me naively thought that first relationships were meant to work and carry on forever, even when there might be some signs otherwise. I’m think I’m still new to this whole thing. Not everything’s like a storybook.” She thought for a second. “I still love him… I’m sure I do. Things are only a bit complicated right now.”

With careful intent I had listened to each word. The truth was close to what I had originally surmised and now I knew with certainty. Twilight had opened up and told me a lot about herself then—laid herself bare. What I took away from it was that someone had hurt her. Someone had made her cry. And had done so more than once.

“What is his name?” I asked, most likely a little too directly.

“I won’t tell you that, Sombra.”

I took a step towards her. “Tell me his name, Twilight.”

She rubbed a hoof through her mane. “It’s none of your concern, Sombra, and I should have kept my mouth shut about it. They’re my problems and I’ll solve them like I do every problem. But I should go. It’s late enough as it is.”

Hurriedly she made her way to the base of the stairs before turning around. “Were you going to attend the Gala next week, Sombra? I’m sure Celestia will push you to go no matter what.”

“Are you going to be there?” I asked.

“I’m a Princess, remember? It sort of comes with the territory. My friends will be there too, though.”

“Even the pink and yellow one?”

She eyed me quizzically. “What do you have against Fluttershy?”

I paused. “I heard she does things—unnatural things—to villains. Take Discord for example.”

Twilight closed her eyes for a moment. “You’re sort of weird sometimes, Sombra. But I guess that makes you more interesting than most.”

Right after that she hurried up the stairs, leaving the King of red blankets and paper crowns to contemplate about a particular nearby stallion.

Author's Note

Now only one chapter remains. I'm sure the conclusion will not piss off a single solitary person...

Chapter 11: Regarding Mild Revenge and Fights in the Rain

REGARDING MY LIST OF FRIENDS

That evening, I was invited to the Apple family farm for dinner. Fluttershy accompanied me; I wasn’t sure if it was by Applejack’s request or her own insistence on coming. I considered my quest to get back in Twilight’s good books a difficult task all its own. Had Fluttershy made a project out of me? She already had Discord in the bag, as simple as it might have been. Was she aiming for two out of two?

Needless to say, I liked her style far more than Celestia’s monotonous friendship grind.

“Where did you say you were from?” the oldest of the Apple clan asked me.

“The Crystal Empire.”

“Sure yer not in some way related to the Apple fam?”

I slowly glanced at the dark color of my coat to compare with the harvest colors of the rest. Was she saying this in jest? “If I was, I’d be old enough to be your grandfather. Several times over. In fact, possibly I am your grandfather.”

“Then list me more than two types of apples, smart guy.”

I sighed. “Yellow, red and green.”

The family matriarch chewed on my answer. “That’s good enough for me. Let’s eat.”

The meal was a simplistic affair of vegetables and starches. Dessert was, of course, apples and apple byproducts. I should have seen it coming. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy food or even the preparation of it—it was only that since I’d gained my immense powers again, the need for sustenance fell away from me. I could eat and I could drink the same as any other pony, I just didn’t need to. The same went for oxygen. I’m sure if I went a hundred years without food or even a few hours without air, I might finally succumb to the clutches of death. But it would take quite some time.

Regardless, I told them it was good and kept my manners in mind. I only needed to remind myself this was my direct shot back to Twilight’s good graces… as thin as it was appearing. When the meal was over, the family broke away from each other. Most went in the direction of the fireplace to regale in stories and the like. Not burdened with the need to open up at the moment, I followed Applejack’s older brother outside.

“Eeyup,” was all the stallion said after I thanked him for his hospitality.

We sat out on the porch and watched as the sun dipped below the horizon. I found it rather dull in truth, but could tell the Apple family enjoyed the solace and splendor of nature more than most. I wasn’t about to cancel such plans.

I had spent nearly a week at Fluttershy’s and something large still irked at me. Something was still out of place that I couldn’t understand. I asked him, “Are you scared of me?”

“Nope.”

“You do realize I was once the great ruler of the Crystal Empire—feared by thousands and hated by more. Your sister and her friends were the ones that defeated me some time ago.”

“Eeyup.”

It was this simple notion that pulled at my thoughts as I spent time with Fluttershy and the rest. Just how easy it had been to slip into their world and exist alongside them. Discord had made it sound as simple as such, but I had already categorized draconequuses as liars and nothing more. Were second chances offered this freely in Ponyville, or had they failed to understand exactly what I was yet?

“You are a pony of few words.”

“Eeyup.”

“I feel I could tell you anything. That I could longingly look into your soul and it would be like staring into a mirror. You keep quiet because you understand the fundamentals of existence with more precision than most, and you believe if you were to speak your mind more often than you do, your own personal problems would no longer be your own.”

“Eeyup.”

I pulled out a scroll I had brought with me in a bag. “We should be friends. I’m going to add you to my list of them.”

“Eey—” He glanced at my list and sharp quill with alarm. It had not been the first time. “Eeyup?”

“Splendid,” I told him, scribbling down his name.

Eeyup Pony

Feeling a fraction bit happier, I scanned my thin list of names and the empty check boxes beside them. I had filled in a few of Twilight’s friends already—I’m sure they would agree to it. But more than anything, I wanted a strike by that first name.

Twilight Sparkle

I knew then it was only a game of persistence.

REGARDING MILD REVENGE

It was on a Thursday when it happened. I was lazily strolling beside Fluttershy as she attended to her daily chores. She had planned for a small picnic under a tree afterwards, and I spent the time before then trying to coerce whatever facts I could about a certain mare’s likes and dislikes. I knew Twilight enjoyed books, but then, so did everyone in Equestria. By the way Fluttershy stopped at each blossoming plant and flower, I took it as a sign they might enjoy horticulture as well.

That was when he popped by.

“Fluttershy! Fluttershy! You wouldn’t believe what that buffoon did at Sugarcube Corner the other day! I mean, that’s just too—”

Discord stopped in his tracks a few steps outside Fluttershy’s kitchen, a lemon square already half eaten in one hand. His fiendish grin oozed from his face like melting wax.

“What’s he doing here?” he asked her, irritation already plaguing his voice. “Thursday afternoons is our time together, Fluttershy!”

Oh. Oh my. Is that how it is?

Suddenly I saw my “friend” in an entirely new light. He must not like competition. He must not like it at all.

Fluttershy sat down pleasantly enough on the spread-out blanket and patted near her side. “There’s plenty to go around, Discord. And since Sombra has been my guest for the past few days, I’m inclined to include him, too.” She turned up to him. “I thought you said you liked him?”

Discord looked repulsed. “I liked watching him… fail, if that’s what you mean. But…” That was when his pupils shrunk significantly. “Did you say he was staying here?”

Fluttershy set the lettuce sandwiches and accompaniments down around her. “Yes. I said he could as long as he behaves himself, and he’s… making progress. Sombra’s only going through a rough time at the moment.”

I should have felt rather exposed being discussed in such a personal way only feet from view, but the expression on the draconequus’ face was enough to want to lay down and bask in.

“You’re allowing him to stay in your home?” he nearly shouted, his eyebrows leaving his head a few inches. “You never let me spend the night, Fluttershy!”

She told him delicately, “That’s because you have grabby-hands, Discord. Sombra has hooves and he keeps them to himself.”

The draconequus steamed and turned several colors of the rainbow. “What is this… I don’t… why does he…” He grabbed at his sizzling head. “I can’t even finish sentences right now!” Taking a breath, he fell to his knees and added a faint shimmer to both eyes. It would have almost been convincing if it hadn’t been so damn overwrought. “But Fluttershy! I wanted to spend time with you! Not mean ol’ Sombra-face over there. He’s not even reformed; he’s just… leeching off you.”

The yellow pegasus crossed her forelegs and shut her eyes. “Then that’s too bad, mister. Anyone staying under my roof will be treated as a guest, and asking them to leave simply because someone doesn’t like them would be no way to treat them. Sombra’s doing his very best and I’m sure if you got to know each other, you’d discover you have a lot in common.”

Any cuddliness in Discord blew away in the wind as he watched me slowly saunter over to the picnic blanket. Once I sat down next to Fluttershy, I patted the remaining area with a grin. It was my “friendship” face, too. By that point, I’d almost gotten used to it.

Acting like a colt presented with bad medicine, Discord eventually took a seat and looked anything but cheerful on that particularly warm and sunny day. He stared at me as if his thoughts alone could set me on fire, chewing loudly with complete disregard for food particles thrown about the wayside. I ate with poise and dabbed the corners of my mouth with my napkin. I had been a King for more years than I could remember. Manners were like invisible armor to me.

He growled in my direction, “You were supposed to implode and go away, dark pony—a series of quick laughs followed by a quick exit. I don’t remember giving you permission to live with my friends. I thought you were only after Twilight.”

I smiled faintly. “Plans have… changed on that front. I will talk with Twilight, but only when the time is right.”

He sluggishly propped his head on a hand. “Any idea when that’ll be, so you can go do things away from here?”

I ignored his question and focused on something else: revenge, as mild as it would be.

“Fluttershy, dear,” I asked pleasantly. “Could I have some pudding now?”

“Of course, Sombra.” From her small picnic basket, she unloaded a covered bowl of the chocolate dessert. She place a sizeable portion into a clear cup and hoofed it over to me.

I levitated a spoonful to my mouth methodically. “This is very good, Fluttershy! Discord, why don’t you have some?”

The draconequus appeared to be counting how many breakable bones were in my body. I almost wanted to hug him, he was making me feel so mildly wicked. He said gravely, “I’m suddenly not hungry anymore.”

I sneered at him. “That’s too bad. Because it’s really good.” I upended my spoon right before my mouth so a sizeable blob fell to the top of my muzzle. I crossed my eyes to stare at the spill. “Oh Fluttershy, dear. I seemed to have made a mess of myself. Would you be so kind? I always have trouble getting at all those spots I can’t see.”

“Sure, Sombra.” Fluttershy reached for a nearby napkin and began dabbing the ends of my dessert-covered nose. While she was focused on me, I was focused on Discord.

If his hate could have been bottled and sold as a hot sauce, it would have been pulled from the shelves right after the first shipment. He mouthed the words, “I hate you,” and I only smirked in return. We were well on our way to a lifetime of happiness and joy, I could tell.

Fluttershy pulled away and I stuck my tongue to my snout, pretending to dab at something. “I think you missed a spot.”

“Let me see,” she said, reaching back in.

While Fluttershy touched my muzzle, I playfully licked at her hoof. She laughed. “That tickles, Sombra!”

I felt the earth shake and turned to the draconequus. His face was the color of lava and his eyes were a window into a sea of fire. It was almost mesmerizing how many different ways he could visibly become annoyed.

“That’s it! That is it! THAT IS IT!” he yelled, snapping himself to a standing position. “You want to play it like that? You really do? Well, fine, then. Let’s go.” A second snap from his bony fingers caused the container of pudding to fly right above his head, only to crash back down with a very satisfying splat. Somehow his eyes were the only thing not completely covered in the sticky dessert. “Now who’s messy, Sombra! I’m sure Fluttershy will need more than a single napkin for me!”

In an instant Fluttershy shot up between us, forelegs dividing the two of us. She stared at Discord disappointedly. “That’s no way to treat friends that are trying to better themselves, Discord. You of all creatures should know that.”

He narrowed his eyes. “He tried to eat your pets!”

Fluttershy hesitated. “Well, that was when Sombra was still adjusting to his surroundings. He isn’t perfect, but he’s trying. You were never perfect either, Discord. You still have your ups and downs from time to time. But that’s what friends are for—to forgive and to look past the small faults.”

The draconequus snapped away every inch of pudding covering his body, leaving him with a buffer-like shine. “I don’t think so, Fluttershy. You’ve played wet nurse to Mr. Brood for long enough. You need to show him the door.”

The gentle pegasus crossed her legs, a stern expression locked in. “Sombra will only leave when he is ready. He is a guest and at the moment he’s a far more pleasant one than you.”

“I… what…” Discord grasped at words that never made it out. With quivering jaw he turned to me, fresh wrath etched in his eyes. “If that is the way you feel, Fluttershy, I will not impose on you further. I will only give you this small piece of advice. Before you get your heart set on this dark creature, you should know what type of animal he truly is. The moment you are of no more use to him, he will be off without a parting word. Why else do you think he’s stuck around for so long? Because of you? Or because of your connection to Twilight?”

With growing apprehension I watched as tiny gears began to click in the back of his head. If this sight alone wasn’t enough to give me pause, his vacant expression and soft voice thereafter sealed it.

Before he left, he said, “Don’t be surprised if you wake up one morning and find this villainous pony nowhere to be found. Not having had a single friend in his life, I can’t imagine he’d be the type to leave a note.”

REGARDING FIGHTS IN THE RAIN

The pounding rain cemented my mane against my shoulders and face, a few wayward drops stinging the few thin cuts around my chin and chest. I dropped closer to the ground and barred my sharp teeth at my opponent, a low throated growl already building up from my torso. My limbs ached and my head was pounding from the constant use of heavy magic… and yet I was having the best time of my life.

“You ready to admit defeat, Sombra?” Luna called to me, her mane somehow impervious to the wind and rain of her own creation. “Or are you merely waiting for the finishing blow?”

I barked a single laugh into the pitch black sky. “Last time I was brought down was because I was outnumbered and caught unawares. This time your sister will not come to your aid, Luna. All that awaits for you tonight is one final dream; one which I promise you will never wake from.”

Luna and I had been bantering and sparring for close to an hour now. Having not completely worked out each delicate kink in my arsenal of dark magic, my overabundant use of it was close to taxing. I could only hope she’d want to call it a night soon.

Earlier that morning, I had received a hoofwritten letter at Fluttershy’s. It read:

“Dear dark King Sombra,

Considering that your reign of tyranny still stands, I have come to the conclusion that one final climactic duel should be arranged. Midnight tonight in the heart of the Everfree Forest. The light from my moon will guide your way and the edge of my blade will silence you for good.

Looking forward to our final encounter,

Princess Luna.”

I originally absorbed the note as well as could be expected and then went ahead to the forest—mostly in the notion of swaying her away from attacking me. Reaching the middle of the thick greenery, a circular storm cloud closed in over an open clearing, soaking everything under it. I could tell she had been patiently waiting for me.

In better suited armor than before, she unveiled herself and struck her glowing sword on the ground. She shouted with her royal voice, “Now ends the bloody reign of King Sombra!”

It had been so long since my official title had been used it caused my hairs to stand on end. Dreaming of my old cape and crown, I hardly noticed the mare lunge forward to attack, sword poised at the ready.

One quick slash was all it took.

“Ow! Why did you do that?”

I gripped the bleeding cut on my chin as I retreated from her, sealing myself away in a protective red bubble.

Innocently, Luna raised a leg to me. “I thought you were ready! I even taunted you and everything! It’s not my fault if you’re slow.”

I shot daggers at her. “Slow?” Then something much larger pulled at me. “What is all this? I’ve done nothing wrong and I’ve been pardoned of my crimes. You have no right to attack or harass me. Actually…” I showed her the bit of blood on my hoof. “You could get into a lot of trouble for this!”

Safely inside her helmet, she rolled her eyes. “Sombra, if I truly wanted to, I could kill you and lay your stuffed carcass across the Canterlot fireplace and no one would even mention it. There are perks to being an alicorn, if you hadn’t known.”

I didn’t have anything to add to that.

“But that’s not why I brought you here,” she continued. “I wanted a fight on the day you were released from my sister’s holding, and now I’m going to get it—big speeches and all. And before you worry yourself too much, this isn’t to the death. It is but for merriment.”

I still didn’t know what to make of all this.

Then she said those damn words. “Unless you’re too old.”

Close to sixty minutes later, the sweat around my mane had grown chilly and the churning fire-like blades I had created and then recreated from scratch wavered substantially with each of Luna’s crushing blows. If I had known what was actually to transpire that night, I might have prepared better. As it was, I had been left completely deflated.

“Yield, dark creature!”

Again and again her sword clashed into mine, each hit causing me to stagger back until my leg struck a rock below me. Twisting in mid-fall, my weapon winked out from existence and Luna’s own came down one final time, resting comfortably against my wet throat.

Luna held a sly smile. “Yield?”

My chest felt on the verge of collapsing and my heart beat away like a jackhammer. I think I was pretty close to seeing spots. Even feeling like that, I hastily glanced from side to side for potential viewers. None found, I whispered to her, “I yield.”

“Good. Now, time for refreshments.”

REGARDING COMPLICATIONS

“Does your sister know you’re out here?”

We sat together in the thick grass next to a small luggage compartment she had stored out from view. Carefully and methodically, she unhooked each tiny and dented piece of armor to be set back inside it. I didn’t mean to stare, but I had been curious as to whether I’d given her a fair fight in return. By the way her coat glistened in the light from the moon, I could tell I at least hadn’t made it that easy.

Far more prepared than I’d been upon entering that circle of strife, Luna levitated over a small bottle full of sparkling clear liquids. It tasted like water, but colder than it should have been. It also had the knack of clearing away any tiredness or pain I had been experiencing. I hoped it would do the same to the small cuts I had received, otherwise I was sure a stern lecture from Fluttershy would be on the way.

At my question, Luna shot me a glare. “I don’t need to ask my sister for permission to do what I please. I live my own life away from her and she does the same. As long as the night remains tranquil, I am free to do as I wish.”

I decided not to press the subject. “Does Celestia ever say anything about me? Does she know of my current whereabouts?”

Luna held a small look of chagrin. “She… knows you are still around, but, truthfully, you are no longer her greatest concern. You have—oddly—surrounded yourself with the Elements of Harmony, so I believe her reasoning is that anything ‘villainous’ you might try will be halted without hesitation. But she, like most of us, still wonders the purpose of you staying here.” She laid her weary head on a hoof. “Now you have the ability and freedom to go anywhere in this vast world, and yet you chose to stay in a town only a stone’s throw from where my sister kept you. You have not pledged your allegiance to either good or evil, and from what townsfolk have said, nopony knows exactly what you’re up to.”

She scooted against the grass until her back leg rested against mine. Even from that small touch, I could tell how warm and well toned the alicorn was. She asked me delicately, “So what is making you stay here, Sombra?”

I had been asked the same question in a multitude of ways since leaving Canterlot that it barely registered as a question at all. The answer always remained the same. “I want to talk with Twilight again.”

Luna stared up at her moon, perhaps mentally adjusting its whereabouts. “You want your friend back.”

“Yes.”

“And what if she does not wish to be your friend anymore?”

“Then I will keep trying. I have lifetimes to speak with her again.”

Luna paused. “And when you do become friends? What then? How does this story end for you?”

“I….” I thought I had known the answer before I even opened my mouth. How odd it was to find someone genuinely curious about what I had set out to accomplish, only to then ask what I planned on doing when it was over. Yet, truth be told, even I hadn’t thought that far in advance. The first part was close to impossible as it was.

“I don’t know what I’ll do, Luna. I think when the time comes, I’ll have a better understanding. My months spent in Canterlot were haphazard at best, and near the end, the only thing pulling me along were those small pockets of peace I spent with Twilight Sparkle. Unlike everyone else in that dusty castle, she did not force herself on me. Everyone else there… they only saw me as a stepping stool, as if by becoming my friend, they thought their lives would change for the better. Not a single one of them cared about me at all. Twilight had nothing to gain from spending time with me—only I did. And as grating as I must have been to her, she still stuck beside me.”

For the first time since our fight, Luna appeared downcast. Gently rubbing one hoof against the other, she said, “Before I depart for the night, Sombra, I will ask you one final question. Is it more than friendship you want from Twilight? Is there more that you want from the girl?”

“We would need to exchange basic words first…”

“Then say you did,” Luna cut in sharply. “Say your friendship with Twilight Sparkle was suddenly mended and all was right in Equestria. Would you court her?”

It felt as though my heart seized into a brick, causing my limbs to grow numb and my brain to follow suit. For every hour of every day I had thought about my one single goal—to speak with Twilight again, to mend the bridge that I had so horrendously destroyed. Thoughts of events past that lone outcome had scarcely come into play. And now someone was asking what I had planned to do. Someone who, I believed, had a motive all their own.

Deep in my musings, I hadn’t noticed the mare flood my vision, her eyes locked onto mine. She asked stoically, “Do you love her, Sombra?”

At first, I wanted to say yes as much as I wanted to scream no. Luna had no business in my life and until that night could have hardly given me the time of day… unless I was planning on taking back the Empire, that was. Still, I told her the truth.

“I think I could.”

Luna forced a smile. She tried to add casually, “You know, compared to you, she’s just a foal. She might live forever, but she will always be a child next to us.”

I told her, “I think in her short amount of years on this rock, she’s already much wiser than me. Although, in truth, I’m finding that easier and easier to believe.” I hesitated before asking, “Would you put in a good word for me? If you see her in Canterlot?”

“I would do so gladly, Sombra. But I haven’t seen Twilight Sparkle anywhere near the castle in days.”

“Isn’t Sentry still in recovery there?”

She didn’t answer my question. Instead, she looked up at the moon as hints of light touched the corners of her eyes. She said softly, “I should go. But this night has been enjoyable, overall.” She turned back to me, a hint of longing in her stare. “Only know, Sombra, that there are more options available to you in this life. You may not be villainous any more and you may not be on the side of good, but there’s something interesting about you all the same. Speaking from one immortal to another… it’s nice not to be so alone.”

Placing a hoof on my shoulder, she leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. In the several seconds she remained there, blood rushed to my face—hopefully concealed by the darkness of the shade.

“Thank you for tonight, Sombra,” she said quietly. “I haven’t felt this youthful in a very, very long time. We will do this again soon.”

She got back to her hooves delicately and lazily sauntered to her little compartment of armor. In all my time working overnight in Canterlot, I had never seen the mare stroll in such a manner, flicking her tail energetically from side to side.

Once she was in the air and out of sight, I continued to sit on the chilly grass with damp coat, struggling to wrap my mind around everything I had bore witness to. Eventually, I came to a bitter conclusion.

“This will not end well.”

Chapter 15: Regarding Forgiveness, Organization, and Mounds of Dirt

REGARDING TRICKS

I landed in the courtyard outside the castle entrance and expected a small mass of guards to escort me from the premises. Instead, only a few turned their heads in my direction before trudging along on their afternoon march. It appeared as though the great and intimidating Sombra had faded from memory in the past few weeks. I couldn’t blame them for not fearing me as much as they should. More and more, I was becoming a shell of my former self—closer to some buffoon off the streets than a villainous monster. But all that, I could handle. There were only a select few that I honestly cared what they thought about me. With that in mind, I teleported back into the castle.

If my memory of the place was correct (and it was, having been forced to work there for countless days and nights), I knew I could transport myself directly into the second floor washrooms. The only question remaining was if I’d be alone when I arrived.

Short answer: no.

I was lucky he had finished with the stalls when I surprised him.

“Sombra?” the armored guard croaked, already eyeing the door behind me. “I thought you were gone? I thought you weren’t allowed back in the castle?”

As tired as I was, I didn’t feel the need to explain rudimentary facts all over again. “I’m more than likely not allowed back in this place—and probably its washrooms, most of all—but I honestly don’t care right now. I need you to take off your gear.”

“My… gear?” He peeked around my head at the entrance again. I moved to the side to block his view. “What are you planning on doing to me?”

“Nothing. I only want your gear.” I thought for a moment. “Does everyone in this castle think I trap unsuspecting guards in places like these simply to pummel them into mush?”

The guard hesitated and didn’t answer my question. “But if I give you my gear, I’ll be naked.”

I opened my mouth to retort, then thought better of it. I wasn’t aware enough to properly comprehend this newfound level of stupidity. I waved my hoof in front of his eyes. “Sleep, simpleton guard. Go to Luna-land and stuff your rotten mouth with marshmallow clouds and milk-chocolate waterfalls.”

The guard swayed in place, both bulging eyes following my steady hoof with rapt attention. “I’m lactose intolerant.”

My vision flashed red, and that same hypnotizing hoof raised above his head to strike. A few inches above his incredibly crack-able skull, I wavered in place. As much as this one might have deserved it, I would not go back on my word so soon. I growled, “You are so lucky I promised not to hurt anyone.” I sighed. “If that’s the case, then dream whatever in Tartarus you want.”

I flicked my hoof towards his head and he crumpled to the ground, a soft symphony of snores filling the room soon after.

I stopped to admire my work. It had been a long time since I’d tried such a spell, and I knew in less than a minute I’d need to try a few more.

The guard’s armor was snug around nearly every part of me, but I knew it would help conceal a good portion of my dark coat. I wouldn’t need to go far to reach the next set of guards—I only had to be in striking distance to execute my next ruse. After trying three times to delicately slip my curved horn into the guard’s standard helmet, I gave up and drove it through, wrecking any possible future use. I was sure they had a bin of them somewhere in the basement.

Pushing open the washroom doors, I stuck my newly suited head out. Two unicorn guards covered the set of double doors at the end of the hall. The rest of the way looked clear.

Walking and wincing as each piece of cumbersome gear poked and prodded into my sides, I kept my head down and my eyes upward. I made it around a dozen steps in their direction before the guard talking quietly nudged the other one. It was still several seconds too late.

The one on the left screamed, “Stop or I’ll—”

I put my hoof to my lips as my horn began to glow in a light red aura, causing the guard to shut his mouth. His cohort likewise kept silent and returned his weapon to the floor. It was obvious I had their attention, as long I maintained control. Now I had to get them away from the area for as long as I could.

I turned to the left guard. “Tell me, guard, what is it you fear? And speak truthfully.”

The unicorn’s gaze widened as he looked deep inside himself. Before he spoke, his mouth began to tremble. “That something may happen to my family—something that I won’t be around to stop.”

I told him calmly, “Then if that’s the case, I’m afraid it’s happening right now, and you must go help them. And if someone asks how you know all this, it came to you in a vision.”

The guard did not waste another moment on words. Hastily scooping up his weapon with his horn, he noisily trotted down the hall and out from sight, smacking into a doorway as he rounded the corner.

I turned my attention to the remaining guard. “And now you—what is it you fear? Sickness? Death? Spiders and snakes? Things that go bump in the night?”

In my time as ruler of the Crystal Empire, I had used fear as a means to get what I had craved. I had the ability to pull back the delicate layers keeping more vital information inside the heads of those I wanted it from. When I had more time to spend on them, I discovered what they feared through trial and error. When I did not, I forwent such formalities and instead reached deep inside to learn what awaited them in the darkness. How odd it was to find my own image there from time to time.

I said, “Tell me what it is, unicorn.”

The remaining guard gulped dryly. “I’m afraid someone will take… will take my…”

“Yes.”

“That someone… will take my lunch while I’m on duty.”

No. I couldn’t have heard that right. “Are you sure you don’t mean your family or friends?”

“No. My lunch. It’s the one thing I look forward to all day and I bring it here from home. All I do all day, every day, is stand here and stare down a hall. It’s the one thing that keeps me going.”

Idiots, I thought dejectedly. Celestia has herself surrounded by idiots. How is it no one’s bested her again?

I closed my eyes and put a hoof to my temple. “Then, my friend, I’m afraid your lunch is in trouble.”

The guard actually whimpered. “Who? Who would do that?”

I couldn’t open my eyes, I was so exasperated. “I did. I’m doing it right now, downstairs. Sombra the Great Sandwich Eater. Now go. For your sake, get out of my leg’s reach before I start hitting you and can’t stop.”

His hurried hooves scraped against the marble floors and he was out of sight by the time I opened my eyes. Now all that was left before me was that set of double doors. How ironic it was to feel a bit of fear all my own as I pushed inside.

REGARDING FORGIVENESS

Flash Sentry occupied the closest bed to the door and was, in fact, the sole occupant of Canterlot’s recovery ward. I had thought of teleporting in once I found the correct room, but I thought any such flashy effects might only scare him more than I’d had already. This wasn’t the time to be menacing. This was the time for something very different for me.

He was asleep when I entered, so I sat in the chair by his bed and waited for him to stir. A single vase of flowers adorned his nightstand along with a few cards. Most of his face except for his heavily lined eyes had been hidden away behind tight rolls of gauze. It was indeed rare to stare at the aftermath of my own wrath—to look twice at something I had only wanted gone. To look again had always felt like a waste of time to me. Not that day.

Sentry shifted in bed and a lone eye crept open. It watched me for a moment before it must have relayed the message to the rest of him. Instead of jumping to the back of the bed as I thought he might, he surprised me by sitting up against his pillow, as if I were any ordinary visitor. Then he sighed as he looked me over.

He said coldly, “You look ridiculous.”

I glanced at my tight-fitting armor. “I know.”

“Have you come to finish me off, then? I had a feeling you’d come back. You never seemed like the type to leave something unfinished—even when you had no powers, I could tell.”

With a retching metallic sound, I unhooked the helmet from my head to place in my lap. “I came to talk and nothing more. Truth be told, I hadn’t meant to see you at all today, or perhaps ever. Yet things have happened to me recently that have given me pause to think.”

Sentry glanced down to his resting forelegs. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, wrapped up as he was. “Did you kill someone for that armor?”

“I didn’t and I don’t plan on killing anymore. The same goes for hurting others.” I had almost wanted to explain how these were Twilight’s wishes I was obeying, but the simple knowledge that this was the worst pony I could possibly tell that made me stop. (Even if he was the one that ended their relationship.)

Sentry snorted. “I guess it’s only too bad you made that rule for yourself right after me, isn’t it? Did you sprain your wrist breaking my face apart? Is that why you’re stopping now?” A trace of anger entered his voice. “A comedian, Sombra? Is that what you’ve become now?”

“No,” I said slowly, “and I did not come here to tell jokes or half-truths. A few days ago, I was at the mercy of a creature more powerful than I. A very real and very unpleasant death was staring me in the face, and at the last moment I was pulled away from it by another. I am thankful for that. I am thankful to be alive. But I find it’s also changed my perspective on things.”

I placed a single hoof on the side of his bed and tried to meet his stare. When I found nothing but malice, I instead lowered my head to the ground. “What I did to you was wrong, Sentry. What I did to you and Twilight was wrong. I acted on impulse and attacked you knowing full well you would never stand a chance against me. I sensed your overwhelming fear and rather than end it there, I continued on. That was the type of beast I was.”

“If Twilight hadn’t stopped you when she did, you would have killed me.”

“Yes.”

“So what is it you’re here to do, exactly, Sombra? Apologize? Make everything better somehow?”

I breathed out. “I am sorry for what I’ve done to you, Sentry.”

Sentry leaned across the bed and finally I found his eyes. He seemed more aware in that moment than all the hours I spent with him in Canterlot. “If you are looking for some speck of absolution or forgiveness, Sombra, you are wasting your time here. What you’ve done to me can never be undone, and the doctors have stopped even telling me when I might leave.” He exhaled through clenched teeth. “Being a guard in Celestia’s castle was all I ever wanted to do in life. And for a time, I had it. Now all I can do is sit in this bed and sleep and wait and sleep and hear every other able-bodied guard march right outside those doors.”

What I could see of his muzzle pulled into a scowl. “I hate you, Sombra. I will always hate you. And maybe now you’re trying to be good again—and maybe this time, you really mean it—but to me, none of that matters. You will never have my forgiveness and I want you to know that. To me you’re a monster and nothing you do can change that in my mind. What am I anymore, beside a living example of the way you deal with your problems?”

I had never felt so foolish as I did standing in that room—clad in someone else’s armor, speaking with someone who would live only to hate me. I told him, “Only know that I really am sorry, Sentry. And I guess that’s all you need to hear from me.”

He settled back against his pillow. “Fine. You’ve said what you’ve wanted to say. Now leave me alone.”

I stood and carefully placed every borrowed piece of armor on a table in the corner. Near the doorway, I asked him, “What is it you dream while you sleep, Sentry? You said you sleep a lot since you’ve been here.”

“I dream about nothing,” he shot back. “Almost as boring as the life I’m leading right now.”

“What is it you’d like to dream about?”

Sentry regarded me cautiously for a moment. He said, “I wouldn’t mind my old job again—perhaps a more interesting version, though.”

I held open the door. “I’ll talk to them and see that it gets done.”

“What do you mean?”

“Goodbye, Sentry. I’m sorry to have left you in such a state. And I can only hope in the future you can look at me as something other than the monster that attacked you. Sleep well.”

Then I turned and shut the door, honestly curious if I was indeed beyond redemption in the eyes of those I’d hurt.

REGARDING ORGANIZATION

Only a few days into Twilight’s services list and already its repetition had become mind numbing and trite. Most knew that I’d be coming by eventually, and with minimum words spoken, they pointed me in the direction of what needed fixing or who was in need of assistance. I had patched large fissures in the town damn, repaired gazebos complete with crude stick drawings on the inner ceilings, picked up trash in the Ponyville market, resealed the Ponyville town hall due to an infestation of some kind (although I couldn’t tell what), and, perhaps most perverse of all, I sat in as a fill-in judge for the town’s weekly “Best Pie Contest.” (I wish I was kidding. You would have thought once per millennia would have sufficed, but I guess I’m old fashioned like that.)

I found the blueberry to be fine, the cherry mediocre, and the peach so-so. Before the grand event, I had been hoofed a series of cards with the numbers one through ten on them. Since I never believed any true criticism could be fully embellished by some simple number system, I instead erased each card and set to it my honest opinion. I can only hope Applejack can forgive me after I labeled her sister’s apple pie as one of the “ADEQUATE” variety—ending in tears and snot and a well-earned second place ribbon.

Tired and yet hopeful of my morning’s work, I went back to Twilight’s castle with a nice-sized dent in my list. Ever the scrupulous pony, Twilight scanned my scroll and came away with nothing to inquire about. And best of all, not a single pony had complained about my work.

Perhaps they were too afraid.

“I’m pleased to see what you’ve done, Sombra,” she said, as she trotted away in the direction of one of her floor-to-ceiling bookshelves—one with only a few dozen tomes in its current skeletal state. “It’s pretty hot out there today, so if you want, you can take the rest of the day off. Go back to Fluttershy’s if you want.”

Twilight hastily scanned the spine of some book before she set it into the uppermost corner of the bookshelf with her horn. Without delay, she went to on to the next, and I took the opportunity to glance over the dozens and dozens of boxes worth of unsorted books littering the floor.

I said, “Maybe I could stay around here for a bit?”

“Sure, if you want.” She set another book away.

I paced around the entryway awkwardly. I could tell she was busy, but since adding her back to my list of friends, I had barely spent more than a few fractured minutes alone with her. While I had been busy with her list, she had been either revisiting with friends or sorting around the contents of her castle. It would be nice to have at least a few minutes together.

I sat down in one of the library’s cushy seats, mentally flicking through a list of inquires. “Can I ask you a question, Twilight?”

“Is it another Discord question?”

I couldn’t tell if she was annoyed or somewhat curious.

I paused. “Sort of.”

“You can ask, but that doesn’t mean I’ll answer. You know I don’t want you hurting him, Sombra. Or anyone, for that matter.”

I feigned shock. “Me? Hurt that lovable rapscallion?”

Twilight turned to raise a brow. “That’s an odd choice of words…”

“No, Twilight. I only ask because I don’t want him to hurt me. You see… in the past, he’s removed my horn without my consent, and I don’t think that’s fair. Has he ever tried something like that to you?”

Twilight studied a trio of books before sending them off. She said eventually, “He has.”

“And what did you do about it?”

She sighed and turned, books forgotten in the meantime. “The only time he did it—the first time we all met him, actually—there was nothing I could do about it. He took my horn along with Rarity’s horn and my other friends’ wings.”

I said casually, “Makes you feel helpless, doesn’t it?”

She pursed her lips. “I would agree with that, but do you really think Discord would try and hurt you, Sombra?”

The notion of telling Twilight and her friends what had happened between the draconequus and I in that dingy rowboat had been wavering near the top of my thoughts since the moment I was dragged from those icy waters. For a good many reasons, I kept it to myself. For one, there was always the chance I would not be believed—that I was covering up my apparent botched suicide attempt by blaming someone else. For another—and to me the more important of the two—it was the event that finally brought Twilight and I back together. Because she thought I had given up on the world and my very existence in it, she saved me. Before that night, I had given her words and apologies and tiny pots of dirt, yet by nearly drowning at the bottom of a lake, it had unknowingly showed to her that she was my greatest reason to continue on. And that was something I didn’t dare poison with the truth.

And for a third, I wanted Discord all to myself.

No lessons would be learned when he died—no hugs would be exchanged.

Before he would shut his venomous eyes one last time, Discord the Draconequus would feel the wrath of a King, and with any luck it would be out of sight of everyone nearby.

“Are you okay, Sombra?”

Deep in my musings, I hadn’t noticed Twilight approach. She wore a pained expression.

I said, “I’m fine, Twilight. Only thinking is all. You know how much I used to do that behind my desk in Canterlot.” I tried for a smile. “It’s simply odd for me to find a creature with powers superior to mine. You live your whole life believing you’re the gifted one, and then in an instant someone takes away those gifts. You can’t help but feel powerless.”

She smiled back reassuringly, then sighed. “Since Discord only did it the once, I never got to actually test the spell, but I was actually working on one that would protect any object from being tampered with. If you honestly think Discord might try to take your horn again, I could teach it to you.”

“I would appreciate that, Twilight.”

She huffed. “But first I need to finish reorganizing this place.” She spun to glare at her boxes upon boxes of unsorted books, along with the stacks of library records that cluttered a nearby table, whose legs wobbled with the weight. “I spent so much time in Canterlot castle over the past while, I barely had a chance to sort out the new library. I would have gotten Spike to do it, but his organizational skills are a tad lacking.”

“I thought all your books were destroyed in your old home.”

“They were,” she said. “These are all donated ones from everyone and everywhere in Equestria.”

I stood from my seat and stretched out each leg, popping them at the knees. “Then I will help you in your organizing.”

Twilight gave me a quizzical expression. “Aren’t you tired, Sombra? You’ve been working pretty hard the last few days.”

“I’m not tired.” I was, actually. But that was a fact Twilight need not know. “And it could be fun, Twilight. I believe some of the best times you and I shared together were when we went looking around the Canterlot archives. And you always seem to forget that I ran a successful Empire for hundreds of years, meaning organization is my expertise.”

She grimaced. “You and I might differ on the term ‘successful’ Empire.”

I waved the notion aside. “You want me to help, Twilight?”

She thought for a moment, slowly regarding each wide and heavy box and each deep and empty shelf. “All right, Sombra. I’ll start with the A’s and you start with the Z’s and we’ll meet together in the middle.”

I told her, “Just don’t drop any books on my head this time, if you’d be so kind.”

REGARDING MOUNDS OF DIRT

Celestia’s ever-flourishing sun was about to dip below the horizon when I finally trotted back towards Fluttershy’s cottage. I could have teleported there in the blink of an eye, but I found the walk quite splendid. I was tired to the bone not only physically, but mentally as well. Twilight and I had sorted through hundreds of texts, cataloging each one. It was only a small amount of magic each time I moved something—what stole most of my energy was the conversations between the two of us. As I went to each new job in town, I had been steadily reading through her book of new culture, and together we discussed each and every change that had happened since my time. Most notable and unbelievable: the removal of the death penalty. Was that practice something only my kingdom had going for it? That talk would have to wait for another day.

As I opened the door to Fluttershy’s cottage, I caught the mare dancing in the air, clearing away dirt from the shelves with a duster. She even hummed a quiet lullaby. When I shut the door behind me, she spun and flew into my chest, small legs wrapped around my unyielding shoulders.

She shouted into my ears (which, to her, was still only a notch above room voice), “Sombra! I’m so happy you’re back! You wouldn’t believe what’s happened!”

I returned the hug and set her back down. Both of her wide eyes held a delicate shimmer, and her smile was on the verge of enveloping the rest of her face.

“What’s happened, Fluttershy?”

“Discord’s come back!”

All tiredness left my body as I instinctively lowered to the ground. My eyes darted to each corner of the room, searching for a single object that didn’t belong. I then ran a hoof along my horn, making sure it was still firmly attached.

Fluttershy appeared too excited to notice. She said absently, “He came by right out of the blue—like he usually does, I guess—and we had a nice chat, and then we—”

“Where is he now, Fluttershy?” I cut in.

Some of Fluttershy’s original joy ebbed away. “He left. He said he couldn’t stay long.”

I pushed around her and took a turn around the room. Everything appeared the same as when I had left, including this journal tucked underneath the couch. “Did he say anything else, Fluttershy? Anything that might have sounded a bit… odd, perhaps?”

She turned to the floor, perplexed. “Well, I don’t think so. He only wanted to know how I was doing, and how all my friends were doing. He did seem a little more… tense than usual.”

I lifted a drape covering the window. The road to her cottage looked clear—although I was reminded my enemy was the type that could appear anywhere with little to no warning. “Go on, Fluttershy.”

She thought for a moment. “I doubt it’s all that important, but he was very interested to know what I was planning on doing tomorrow night.”

“And what were you planning on doing?”

“Staying in. Helping with the animals, like I always do.”

Finished with my search, I came towards her. “And how did he take your answer?”

She nodded. “He said that was the best thing I could do. He hoped I would stay inside. You think he’s trying to warn me of some cold that’s going around, Sombra?”

I hesitated. “I… don’t think so, Fluttershy, but—”

Something in Fluttershy’s backyard caught my attention, but when I turned I found only her peaceful garden basking in the sinking rays of the sun. Still, I felt that someone must be waiting for me out there.

I turned to her, another false smile in play. “Fluttershy dear, if you wouldn’t mind, could you check to see if you have another blanket somewhere upstairs? I’m finding the nights much chillier than before.”

She put a hoof to her mouth. “Oh, gosh. I don’t know if I have another.”

“I’m sure I saw one. Just have a look around while I step outside for a moment. I shouldn’t be long.”

The door to Fluttershy’s garden creaked noisily as I tried to close it as gently as I could. With added delicacy I placed each hoof on the grass, muffling every step. I breathed in deep to try and sniff out what was nearby, and soon the faint scent of stale candy drifted towards me.

The setting sun cast each tree and bush in a mix of orange and black shadows and I tried to discern my opponent from the scenery. I only hoped invisibility wasn’t part of his arsenal.

As I approached the center of the small garden, I lowered and kept each limb as tight as wire. Discord liked to talk, so I would let him talk for as long as it took to retaliate. I wasn’t sure what I’d do after.

For sixty seconds, I listened to nothing at all until he made himself known.

In a flash of blinding white, he appeared before me. Already he was staring at his hands as his lion paw rubbed a file against his eagle’s claw.

Discord said, “You really should be thank—”

That was when a highly concentrated blast of red and black energy from my horn melted and obliterated each tiny bone and muscle in his head, leaving only a few bits of horn and antler that hovered outside the blast to fall to the grass. His busily working hands fell from their task as what remained of his neck pumped out one last batch of crimson red onto his shoulders. With lack of working brain, the draconequus’ knees buckled and the rest of him came toppling to the grass, staining a wide circle into the earth.

I watched all this from the other side of the garden, after I had rolled and galloped to a better attack position. For close to another minute, I waited for the punch line to the joke—for him to rise up and replace his head with a wide array of head-sized objects—only for nothing at all to follow.

“It can’t be…” I mumbled, as I circled the fallen creature. “It just can’t.”

I poked the headless being with a hoof more than a dozen times, preparing for some limb to try and grab me. I was almost disappointed this was how it all came to end. But, in a way, hadn’t it made sense? Most heroes this so-called “villain” faced in his prime had first tried to reason with him before discovering a lifetime in stone to be the only solution. How many had decided cutting him off midsentence was the best course of action? Could it be true that he lacked sufficient defensive spells while he mocked and chatted away?

Either way, he was dead. Either way, I had won and the draconequus was gone forever.

Now felt like a good time to laugh.

I chuckled deeply, “Hehehehehehahahahaha—”

“Sombra?”

I inhaled sharply. “Yes, Fluttershy?”

I turned to find her staring at me through the kitchen windows, one of them opened. From that angle I was almost certain Discord’s body must be hidden from view. Otherwise, I was sure she’d be behaving a whole lot differently.

She asked, “What are you laughing at?”

Friendship-face time. “Just a joke I heard earlier.”

“Can Ihear it?”

I thought. “No. I don’t think you’d like it.”

“What’s it about?”

My mind ran blank. “Pegasi that can’t fly.”

She shook her head at me. “That sounds terrible, Sombra. You shouldn’t laugh at such things.”

“I know. I’m sorry, Fluttershy. Why don’t you go sit in the living room and I’ll join you in a minute?”

She viewed me hesitantly for a period. “You’re not hiding something from me, are you, Sombra?”

As Discord’s blood seeped under my hoofs, my smile faltered heavily. “No. Why would you think that? Now please go to the living room for a little while, Fluttershy.”

She glared at me as my hooves got stickier. “Okay, then.”

As she turned back inside, I wiped the sweat from my brow and gave the lifeless Discord another kick—hopefully in a place he could feel all the way wherever in Tartarus he’d wound up in. Then I got to work.

Unknowingly, Fluttershy helped quicken Discord’s burial by leaving out her shovel in the yard—planting tomato vines some afternoon or the like. Since I was sure I could crumple the draconequus into a tight little ball, the hole I created was deep but hardly long. Once it was done, I levitated his body to the least visited section of the backyard, off near the woods and in the deep shade of trees, though I never did mean for this to be his final resting place. When a more secluded area came to mind, I would move him to it posthaste.

The first mound of dirt covered his folded torso, and it almost felt like I was burying my anxiety along with him. By that point in the day and after everything I had borne witness to, I was beyond the point of exhaustion. So much so that Discord’s headless body started talking to me.

Pleasantly enough, it asked, “What are you doing?”

What a silly question, I thought sleepily, as I continued to shovel on the dirt. “I’m burying you. But stop talking. You’re dead.”

“Oh,” it answered. “I’m sorry, I hadn’t realized.”

“Well, you are. So be quiet. I don’t want Fluttershy to know what I’m doing.”

“She wouldn’t like this at all, would she?”

How can it even talk with no mouth?

I said, “Probably not. And explaining to her why I dug up her yard will be a tiresome enough chore on its own.”

“Do you want a hand, then?”

At the time, it made sense. “Sure.”

A very tall and very thin creature sidled up behind me and began tossing in small hills of dirt into the now empty hole. For some reason, I was so drained I simply continued with the task. No matter what, I was reminded, I’d need to patch up Fluttershy’s garden at some point.

When the job was complete, I sat next to the mound of earth and finally faced my enemy. The draconequus appeared no worse for wear.

Discord smiled at me, eyes more lined and tired than I’d ever seen them before. “You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you?”

I returned the grin to my worthy adversary. “For a little while, I did. So why did you pretend to be dead for so long?”

He said bluntly, “To give you hope.”

I nodded. “What now? Is this the part when you remove my horn and drop me into a volcano?”

He knelt close to me, sticking a claw to his temple. He contemplated, “I could, you know. I could snap my fingers and send you away for good this time. But I won’t. I’ve had a few new ideas in the past few days.”

I ignored the open question. “What were you going to say before I tried to kill you?”

“Forty-six thousand five-hundred and seven. It took so long. So very long.”

“What?”

“I tried to say that you should be thanking me—that I singlehandedly reunited you with your lost friend and no one’s the wiser about how it all came together. But I really don’t expect you to.”

I said through barred teeth, “You tried to kill me.”

He retorted, “Then you tried to kill me.” He paused. “But I’ll let that slide for now. I’ve thought of a brand new way of getting my friends back, and you don’t need to be away for it to happen.” He stared longingly at the fresh plot of earth. “I should have realized it sooner that all I had to do was show them the real you to get you out of my hair.”

I said carefully, “We need to end this, Discord—what’s happening between us. I fear something bad may happen to Twilight or one her friends if we can’t come to some agreement.”

He curled his lip above his single fang. “Since you just tried to blast a hole through my head, I doubt you really mean that. I think you’re only saying that now because you failed.”

“What are you planning on doing, Discord?”

He giggled, sounding forced. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Why did you ask Fluttershy those questions earlier?”

Discord’s smirk dropped from his lips as he growled at me. “Wouldn’t you like to know!”

Then he snapped himself from the garden, leaving a dirt-covered ex-villain to ponder a great many things before the bright sun descended again.