Forever and Again

by Nyronus

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1248

As Twilight draws towards the end of her life, Celestia shares with her a theory about death, life, and magic.

As Twilight draws towards the end of her life, death and the effect it will have on those she is closest with weighs on her mind. One night, seeing her distress, Celestia shares with her a secret belief she holds about death, life, magic, and the connection between them.

Published 2014-11-07 04:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-07 04:30:02 UTC

Of Magic

The room Celestia shared with Twilight was a cosy one. A wide bed for the two of them, shelves for their favorite books, two low, wide desks, always tidy, and fireplace with a kettle hanging eternally over it, always ready to provide fresh tea. This room was a haven of theirs, it was where they came when the long day ended to just be with one another. Sometimes laughing, sometimes playing, sometimes crying, but mostly to just enjoy the silence with each other. More so since Celestia and the entire board of the Royal Academy had convinced Twilight to retire. Free of work Twilight had spent many a night propped up on the pillows of the bed, reading some book or another, muttering to herself, in joy when it was one of her favorite pulps, and in frustration when it was another journal of articles filled with papers she felt she could have written better.

Celestia’s pen came to a halt as she looked up. Something was wrong.

Twilight looked hollow. Her face was slack, her eyes empty of focus, the wrinkles around them far more pronounced than they had ever been since they appeared.

“Celestia?” Twilight finally whispered, after what seemed like forever.

“Yes dear?”

“What… what will you do when I-” a hitch “-die?” Tears began falling down her cheeks. She began shuddering and letting out tiny silent sobs.

Celestia was moving before her pen hit the desk, and into the bed sweeping Twilight into an embrace. Twilight curled into her wife and began sobbing in earnest.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.”

“Shhhh. Shhh. It’s alright. It’s alright. Shh.”

“You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve to hear the fears of a dying old mare. I’m sorry. So sorry.”

“Shhh. It’s alright, it’s alright. I’m here. I promise I’m here. It’s alright.”

They went back and forth for some time, Twilight shuddering in Celestia’s grasp while Celestia cooed and held her tight. Slowly the sobbing and moaning turned to breathing, and then finally calm.

“I’m sorry.” She said, her voice a little raw, half smiling as she did so.

“And for the thousandth time it’s alright.” Celestia planted a kiss on Twilight’s forehead, smiling. “Now, what’s wrong?”

“It’s... nothing,” Twilight said, somewhat bashful.

Celestia met the statement with a level stare and a quirked eyebrow. After a moment, Twilight turned away. There was a long moment before she began, her voice tired and shaking.

“I… I’m growing old Celestia. I know we talked about this-but I just… sometimes, when I have too much time on my hooves, thoughts come to me. I wonder… I wonder if I will be forgotten. I wonder what it will be like for you, not just to see me get crows feet and grey hairs, but to watch me waste away.” Her expression tightened as her voice picked up speed, babbling now. “I wonder if I will be anything other than a note in a history book to you-a stained glass window to pass and go ‘Ah, that was my wife’ until enough heroes come and go to take my place in the hall and-I’m sorry, I’m better than this, I-”

Celestia reached out and gently put a hoof on Twilight’s muzzle before leaning forward to kiss her on the forehead.

“Shh.” She said, smiling softly.

“I’m being silly.” Twilight moaned, trying to smile as she cried. Celestia kissed her softly on the lips for a moment.

“You’ve done a lot in your life, and neither death nor love are easy subjects to consider. I think you’re entitled to be a little silly at this point.”

Twilight chuckled at that, her the tears still flowing. She curled into Celestia’s barrel, nesting in there like a bird. Celestia held her for some time. Eventually, Twilight shuddered, and then relaxed, the tears finally stopping.

“What would you do if you didn’t have a worrisome old nag like me to take up your time?” Twilight chuckled.

“A lot.”

Twilight kicked her. Celestia snorted. They both smiled.

They laid together like this for a time, Twilight curled tightly against Celestia, while Celestia stared off into space, smiling as she ran her hoof through Twilight’s mane.

“Twilight, do you want to know what I think about death?”

“Hmmm?” Twilight looked up from her little nest, curious.

“I’ve seen a lot of it, you know. It sort of comes with the territory.”

Twilight snorted.

“I don’t like discussing this. Some ponies would find it… stranger, or fanciful, but... I don’t think things truly die Twilight. Or, if they can, it's really hard to do so.”

Twilight frowned slightly, watching Celestia intently.

“We’re more than just our bodies, we’re also-”

“-Magic.” Twilight’s finished.

“Right,” Celestia grinned. “Magic. It's in every living creature. It’s what separates us from the rocks and the stars, giving us our will, and as we know Twilight magic-”

“-neither begins nor ends. It simply changes.” Twilight fell into the familiar litany in lock step with Celestia. The two paused for a moment, and then broke into giggles.

“That’s right. Only I don’t think magic can be a pony for so long and just forget it. I think, when the magic spark of life happens again, the old memories of the ponies that it was before can come back, and I think, as much as you’ve felt, and lived Twilight?” Celestia stared into Twilight’s eyes. “You’ll come back one day, to live a life again.”

Twilight’s eyes burned with fascination, relief, joy, hope, and love. She was crying again.

“And even if it doesn’t?” Celestia went on, grabbing Twilight’s hoof. “Parts of you will live on forever. If nothing else, in here-” Celestia brought Twilight’s hoof to her own forehead, “-and here,” down to her chest. “And even then Twilight? If I were somehow to be cursed to forget and my heart turned cold? As much as you’ve touched me, I don’t think the magic inside me could ever forget you either. So even when the sun burns out and life leaves Equestria, some part of the universe will always remember Twilight Sparkle and what a wonderful mare she was, worthy of the love of the sun and moon and the light of friendship over the world.” Celestia was crying now too, her eyes burning with memory and love. She smiled down at Twilight.

“You’re just saying this to make me feel better,” Twilight sobbed and laughed. Celestia gave a fey smile.

“You said that the last time I told you all of this.”

“But you never told me-” Twilight stopped short as her eyes went wide with understanding. There was a moment of shocked stillness, and then Twilight laughed and hugged Celestia with all of her might. Celestia returned the favor.

“Even if you are lying,” Twilight said, “Thank you.”

“Each life is a miracle. While a pony is here, every choice they make shapes the future, leaving countless other miracles in their wake.” Celestia pulled Twilight in tighter. “No pony leaves the world truly untouched, and I could not be happier that while you were here this time one of those things you shaped was… well, me.” Smiling, she loosened her grip and curled around Twilight. The two then relaxed, laying next to each other in content silence.

“Thank you,” Twilight said after some time.

“Well, what was I to do?” Celestia said, eyes closed and grinning. “Let your sobbing keep me up all night?”

Twilight kicked her again.