Dirty Prancing

by PresentPerfect

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Tragedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Crossover
Length: 9360

In a time when ponies and changelings were friendlier, Princess Chrysalis spent her time vying with her sisters for control of the hive. Then one day, she met a very special dance instructor, and everything changed...

That was the summer nine hundred and sixty three years after Discord's fall, when everyone called me Chryssy and I knew better than to correct them. That was before Princess Luna was banished, when ponies and changelings mingled without fear. When all I wanted was to best my sisters and become queen. When finding a mate was the furthest thing on my mind. That was the summer we went to the Macintosh Hills, on the border of changeling and pony lands...

A ponification/parody of Dirty Dancing. 8th place finalist in the December 2014 Writeoff, "Behind Closed Doors". Thanks to kp-shadowsquirrel for the artwork!

Published 2015-01-03 03:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-03 03:20:02 UTC

Dirty Prancing

Dirty Prancing
by Present Perfect

Cellar Keg's concierge sputtered for a few moments upon seeing six identical pegasi land on the chateau concourse. Although they weren't exactly identical, on second glance: one was a little larger than the rest, one a little heavier, and one of them had face-planted on touch down. The concierge ran to get Cellar Keg. His "special guests" had arrived.

"I didn't plan that landing out too well," moaned the one on the ground.

Behind her, the others broke into laughter. With a flash of green, one of them turned into a pony-sized changeling, rolling on the ground. "You should see your dumb face right now!"

The pegasus on the ground became a slightly taller changeling, her mane in a ponytail and braces on her fangs. "Sh-shut up, Nympha!"

The largest of them revealed herself as well, shaking her head regally. "Do pull yourself together, Chryalis. You wouldn't want to make us look bad in front of Cellar Keg."

"She can't help it, mother," said a third, dark of mane and sharp of eye. "Chryssy was born to fail, heh-heh."

"Hedylie's right," said the fourth, considerably rounder than the others and fuller of face. "Why you keep bringin' this klutz anyway is beyond me."

"Hush, Pierida," said the last, taller than all but their mother. Gracefully, she bent and helped Chryssy to her hooves, returning her glasses. "You hardly make us look better."

Their mother nodded slightly. "Thank you, Diurna, for keeping your sisters in line. Now shut up, all of you. He's here."

A portly, greying unicorn stallion emerged from the chateau, the concierge remaining behind at the door and watching them with fearful eyes. The stallion grinned as he approached them, halted, and bowed low.

"Queen Io! The pleasure is all mine!"

"Indeed it is, Cellar," Io said, inclining her head ever so slightly, her tone more neutral than his.

"Will you be staying the whole weekend?" Cellar Keg rose and continued to grin. "We've got just a bundle of activities planned! I promise it'll be a great time for you and your daughters!"

Io cast a weather eye back at them, catching Nympha and Pierida with their forelegs around Chryssy's neck. The pair noticed, cleared their throats, grinned, and straightened, dropping her to the ground.

"Yes," Io said languidly, "they could use a break from trying to kill one another for my favor." She gave him a fanged smile. "Come, Cellar, my old friend. Let us talk."

Cellar nodded, turned back to the chateau, and whistled, the concierge scooting to his call.

"Carry your things?" Cellar asked, leading Io along the path.

"We travel light." The Queen turned back to her progeny. "I expect you all to be on your best behavior this weekend! Do not make me regret bringing you along!"

"Yes, mother," they chorused, variously sycophantic and sullen.

As Io and Cellar moved off around the chateau, the concierge reached the rest of the changelings. He looked around them, saw no luggage, threw his hooves up and shook his head, muttering.

Diurna glanced at him. "Now that we've all introduced ourselves..." She placed a hoof on his shoulder and gave him her most alluring smile. "Tell me, pony, what are these... 'activities' of which Cellar Keg spoke?"

"Oh!" He rubbed the back of his neck and tried unsuccessfully to scoot out from under her hoof. "W-well, there's shuffleboard and bingo, and the lake of course... Tonight, there's complimentary dance lessons at the gazebo, and there'll be a magic show tomorrow. Gosh, I'd have to get the schedule to know everything for sure. Oh, but the big to-do is the talent show on the final night! Dancing, singing, whatever you wanna do!"

Diurna smiled at him like a snake before a mouse. "Wonderful. You have served us well, peasant. You are dismissed."

The concierge was all too happy to skedaddle.

"Well then, my sisters," Diurna said, turning to them. "Let us compete in that ever-so-convenient contest to prove which among us is most talented and put our conflict to bed once and for all. I shall sing, of course."

"An excellent idea, sister, heh-heh," said Hedylie. "I shall recite poetry."

Pierida opened her mouth, but Nypha cut her off. "I'll play my harp!"

Pierida scowled at her. "I'll d--"

"I'll dance!" Chryssy shouted. She froze as all eyes turned to her. Then she let out a cry of pain when Pierida punched her in the shoulder.

"Hey! That's what I was gonna say!"

Nympha could barely stifle her giggles. "You dancing, Chryssy? You'd probably knock a wall out!"

"I was gonna dance!"

"Can it, fatty," Hedylie said, sneering. "Can't help it if you're too slow, heh-heh."

Pierida gasped. "I am not fat! I have a big exoskeleton!"

"I'll do it!" Chryssy said, puffing out her cheeks and trying her best to look determined. "I'll show you all! I'll win that contest!"

She stalked off, head high. The others snickered when she tripped over a paving stone.

"I'm doin' interpretive dance, then," Pierida groused. "That's different."

Free dance lessons at the gazebo. It had seemed like such a foolproof plan, if Chryssy ignored her body's propensity for becoming friends with the floor. All she would have to do is sit through an hour of swaying, learn a few steps, and then voila! Talent!

Reality, like her cousin gravity, is a harsh mistress.

The instructor, a unicorn named Foxtrot, could not have been more openly disdainful of her students if she had covered them in tree sap and slapped signs on them that read "I Hate You, Signed Foxtrot". Chryssy especially seemed to catch her ire, and was paired up numerous times with the old earth pony mare too blind to tell a changeling from a diamond dog.

The actual dancing consisted of all the attendees staggering about half a beat late while Foxtrot screeched about how poorly they were doing. Yet somehow, when it was finished, she got them all to applaud and praised them for a job well done. Chryssy suspected acting was also among the dance instructor's talents.

"I'm surprised to see you here."

Chryssy found herself on the floor once more that afternoon, staring up at her eldest sister's legs. Hedylie was there as well, watching through a squint as Diurna reached down and helped her up.

"I would have thought such a talented dancer as yourself wouldn't need lessons, heh-heh." Hedylie moved off through the crowd, stopping to speak with Foxtrot.

Chryssy glowered after her, puffing out her reddening cheeks. "I-I'm just warming up for the talent contest! Wouldn't want to get rusty, after all. I don't actually need lessons!"

Diurna hummed. "Of course not, dear."

"Mister Cellar Keg, I actually need dance lessons, can you help me-e-e-e?"

The sentence came out in a single breath as Chryssy was dragged across the plush carpeting, clinging to Cellar Keg's hoof.

"If I help you out," he grunted turning his eyes toward the ceiling, "will you let go?"

She did.

Letting out a beleaguered sigh, Cellar turned to her. "If you really want to be a dancer, I'll set you up with Noble Sway, my best instructor. He's the one least likely to inadvertently sweep you off your hooves. One lesson, on the house, no funny business. How does that sound?"

Chryssy grinned and clapped her hooves. "Yay! I'm sure that'll be just the thing I need! And then I can show up my sisters and be next in line to become queen!"

Cellar shook his head. "I wouldn't be doing this if you weren't related to the changeling who saved my life all those years ago. Meet Sway in the main foyer in an hour."

Chryssy shuffled her hooves and changed back and forth between three different forms as she waited in the foyer. Not that she was ashamed of her natural form; the indecision helped take her mind off how nervous she was.

She was halfway between unicorn and pegasus when she heard hooves at the door and whirled to face it. The pony standing there was like none she'd ever seen before: a muscular stallion black as herself, winged and horned, too, with red highlights in his wavy mane and tail. On his flank was a set of four flaming horseshoes. Her eyes locked with his and he gaped openly at her.

"A-are you...?"

Frightened by his words, she dropped the disguise. His face fell with it. Scowling turned him into a whole new pony, dark and dangerous rather than mysterious.

"Oh," he said flatly, "a changeling." He puffed out a breath, flipping his hair up. "Jus' who I wanted to not get commission on."

Reminding herself that she was a princess was the only way she could force herself to speak. "D-do you have a problem with changelings?"

Shaking his head, he strode past her down the hall. "Nah, I ain't prejudiced or nothin'. I jus' thought you... Fugeddaboutit. C'mon, ol' man Keg wants me to teach you how to dance, so you're gonna learn how to dance."

His tone was brusque and his voice carried a rough, nasal accent she couldn't place. She tried to shake that thought off and concentrate on how he moved. Males had never really been a concern of hers in the hive, but the way he walked was powerful as it was graceful, like, well, a dancer. She'd never quite seen a creature like him and found herself quite captivated.

"Lesson's in here if you're done starin' at the goods," he said, holding a door open to a studio. She scooted inside, blushing.

The lesson with Noble Sway -- if that was his name, since he'd never introduced himself -- was a very different sort of disaster than the one with Foxtrot. He tried walking her through a series of four dances of decreasing complexity, but every time she thought she was getting the hang of one, she'd stumble over her own hooves, or bump into him, or crash into the phonograph, no matter where it was placed. With each trip or fall, the alicorn grew visibly more frustrated with her.

Finally, he cut the music and pinched the bridge of his nose in one hoof. Chryssy steeled herself; she knew what happened when her mother got this way. Taking a deep breath, he dropped his hoof and looked pointedly away from her.

"Why d'you wanna learn how to dance?"

Her mouth went dry. "I, I, I want to win the talent contest in four days."

He let out a sharp laugh. "The contest? Kid, I got news for you: you'll be lucky if you don't get last place minus one with moves like that. You sure you're not a better singer or, I dunno, accordion player?"

"But I told my sisters I was going to dance..."

"Ahh, now that sounds closer to truth!" He gestured as if showing somepony a new house. "I don't pretend to know much about you changelings, but I got a feelin' you and your sisters fight over who gets to be queen next, am I right?"

She ducked her head and nodded.

"Great. So not only am I not makin' full pay on account of Mister Keg's got himself indebted to your family, but now I gotta groom you for politics, too. Just fantastic!" He slapped his wings against his sides.

"N-now, listen, you, you..." She swallowed. "I am a princess of the changeling hive and I will not be spoken to in such a manner by someone I'm not even related to!"

"Some princess." He turned his back on her. "I thought princesses were s'posed to be graceful an' stuff."

"What would an alicorn who teaches dance lessons know about what princesses are supposed to be like?"

She knew she'd said the wrong thing when he stopped, still as a statue.

"Us alicorns, we're a dyin' breed," he said, staring into the distance. "Ain't many of us left. Ponies don't need ruled like they used to. Me, I got a backstory so dark and mysterious, even I don't know nothin' about it."

He whirled on her, his eyes blazing. "Not like you'd know anything about that, miss Pretty Pampered Changeling Princess!" The clock on the wall chimed five. "Oh, look at that, lesson and exposition are over. Now kindly buzz off and don't talk to me ever again!" With that, he stalked out of the studio, grumbling about spoiled daughters.

She stood there, staring after him for quite some time. Eventually, she managed to squeak out a "Sorry", but it was far too little, far too late. Even as plans of hers went, this one had been an utter failure. And she'd been told off by a commoner, on top of it! She wasn't as good at swinging her title around as Diurna, but if he wasn't actually royalty himself, he should at least have treated her with common courtesy! No one should ever speak to her that way!

Then again, no one had ever called her pretty before, either.

Inside the shack, dozens of ponies danced, though perhaps calling it 'dancing' was a misnomer. It was more like the night was a machine and the ponies were being sucked through its gears. They gyrated and ground against one another, and while she could taste love emanating from some of the couples, more palpable was the heady, intoxicating flavor of unbridled lust. Junk food.

In the center of it all, covered in mares, was Noble Sway.

The rude stallion had been on Chryssy's mind all evening. Try as she might, she couldn't get his words out of her head. So, after considering what Hedylie might do, she came up with a scheme. A little eyelash-fluttering at a busboy, a little emotional manipulation magic, and she learned the whereabouts of the resort staff's secret party spot. Sure, she felt a little guilty passing the "Employees Only Beyond This Point" sign, but a quick form change into a mare who was headed into the opposite direction and she was ready to do what changelings did best: infiltrate.

While she might not have been as cunning as Hedylie, or quick-witted as Nympha, Chryssy was still smart enough to realize illicit activity when she saw it. This dancing was positively dirty, nothing like what she'd seen ponies do, and certainly nothing like she'd ever seen in the hive. (That changeling drones were too stupid to practice art might have had something to do with it.) She could use this.

She waited for the doors to swing open as another couple left, most likely to copulate, if their emotions were any indicator, and slipped inside as they swung shut behind her.

Everything changed. The music pulsed through her body, thick, heavy bass beats and high, tinny saxophone that drove the ponies to frenzy. They became a sea of churning bodies, pressing against her, crowding her, laughing and moaning and saying indiscreet things to one another.

Sighting Noble Sway, she tried to catch his attention. When that didn't work, she summoned up what little of the dance lessons she could recall, remembered she was using somepony else's body, and shimmied her way toward the pile of mares surrounding him.

When she was almost there, she tripped over someone's tail and face-planted right at Noble Sway's hooves.

"Parsley?" a light voice called. "I thought you went back to Knocks's place!"

Magic lifted her and set her back on her hooves.

"That ain't Parsley," Noble Sway said, glowering at her. "I'd know that face-plant anywhere. I don't remember anypony invitin' you, Chryssy."

Pouting, Chryssy dropped her failed disguise and once again tried to remember why she was here. "I invited myself," she said, trying her best to sound aloof. "That's what princesses do, after all."

"'Zat so?" He rolled his eyes and pushed one of the mares out of his way. "Well uninvite yourself, braces. I'm kinda in the middle of somethin', if you couldn't tell."

She smirked at him. "Tell? Now who would I tell about what it is you do out here? Certainly not Cellar Keg, my mother's dear friend."

His black face turned a sickly shade of grey.

"I-I don't know what you're talkin' about..."

She took a step forward. "It's just that Cellar seems awfully uptight, don't you think? Straight-laced, even. Why, if he knew what his dance staff did on his property after hours..."

Noble Sway gritted his teeth, turning his head away. The mares that had surrounded him had vanished one by one as they spoke.

"Please don't tell him," he said softly.

"What was that?"

"I said don't tell him!" He looked at her, eyes wide. "Please, I need this job! Ain't nopony likes to hire alicorns these days! It's the only thing that keeps us interestin'!"

"I thought so." She blew on her hoof, polishing it against her chest. "Of course, I have every intention of keeping this a secret, if... you do something for me."

He put a foreleg around her neck and led her toward the back of the building. "Name it, yer highness."

She smiled at him with as much sweetness as she could muster. "Teach me to dance. For real this time."

The next morning, Nympha sat at a table in the dining area, chin perched on crossed hooves, watching Pierida shovel oatcakes and who-knew-what-else into her face.

"Chryssy's been montaging all morning," she said languidly. "Am I the only one who noticed?"

"Yeff." Pierida scowled at her, mouth full of breakfast.

Nympha leaned back in her chair, staring out the window. "She's been dancing all over the place with that red and black bozo. I even caught 'em out in the river!" She clucked her tongue. "Guess she's really set on winning that dumb talent show."

"Fhut up!" Pierida paused to swallow whatever she'd been chewing. "I'm eating, and no one cares."

Nympha pursed her lips. "I'm only mentioning it because I know you wanted to dance, and you're not doing yourself any favors by eating so much."

"I'm only eating 'cause I'm nervous. I'm watchin' my figure!" Pierida upended a bottle of syrup and sucked at it, eyes bulging in Nympha's direction.

"She's right, Pierida," said Diurna, joining them and setting down her own modestly-piled plate. "Pony food goes right to your hips."

Nympha snickered. "If you're not careful, all you'll be able to interpret is 'beached whale'!"

She laughed uproariously for a solid minute, banging on the table and attracting stares from the ponies in the dining room. Her sisters regarded her with looks alternately flat and hateful.

When the moment had passed, Nympha sucked in a deep breath and shook her head. "But seriously, clumsy Chryssy is getting outside help and it bugs me." She buzzed her wings. "I'm starting to think she might actually have a shot at this dumb contest."

"Heh-heh. Talking about Chryssy, are we?"

Nympha shrieked, turning into a vampire jackalope as Hedylie appeared beside her, talking into her ear. Diurna took a mouthful of her fruit salad and waved her fork at her.

"Indeed we are, my dear sister. It seems Nympha -- change back, sweetie, ponies are staring -- is afraid the least capable one among us might be an actual threat in regards to the contest."

"Oh." Hedylie stared unblinking as Nympha resumed her natural form and stuck her tongue out. "What a tragedy that would be, heh-heh, if it were to happen."

"What do you know about it, creepy-eyes?" Pierida said, belching.

Hedylie's lips parted in a slow, toothy smile. "Only that her instructor is a disgraced alicorn, heh-heh. Quite a good dancer, if you're willing to take my word for it."

"I am," Diurna said. "You've an instinct for these things, after all. Do you think he might be able to overcome her clumsiness?"

"Heh-heh." Hedylie's eyes burned with intensity for a moment. "Indeed I do, dear sister. Indeed I do."

Diurna leaned back in her chair, humming and smiling to herself. The other three looked at her intently.

"I know what that look means, Diurna," Nympha said. "Spit it out. What are you plotting?"

"Me, plotting?" Diurna laughed airily. "My dear sister, you've confused me with Hedylie. I was not plotting, merely thinking."

After a pregnant silence, Pierida swallowed and said, "Thinkin' about what?"

"Oh, you know." Diurna traced a formless pattern through the air. "The usual. That it would be an awful shame if Chryssy's excellent instructor made her a little too confident and set her up for a fall. That it would be an even greater shame if little Chryssy's dear, loving sisters put aside their differences for once and worked to decrease their total number of rivals by one." She pouted. "But you know, I was only thinking about it..."

"Coumff 'ee in!" Pierida said through a mouthful of hashbrowns.

"Me too!" said Nympha.

"Well, I'm intrigued," Hedylie added at length. "And just how do you plan to go about bringing about dear Chryssy's -- heh-heh -- downfall?"

"Oh, I don't know." Diurna shrugged. "Only that the pony you and I spoke with yesterday, Foxtrot I believe her name is, is partnered with Chryssy's dance instructor for the big evening floor shows, and you can usually find her at the gazebo around two."

Hedylie gave a feral grin and sank beneath the table, chuckling "Heh-heh-heh-heh" all the way.

Diurna tittered to herself, then leaned forward. "And as for you two..."

A more gruelling day's work Chryssy could not remember. True to his word, Noble Sway -- he asked her to just call him "Sway", as his friends did -- had given his all, teaching her considerably more complex techniques than he had the previous day. True to her word, she had concentrated on the dancing and forgotten all about the reason she was blackmailing him. He'd even tried to be nice to her for a change, though that was undercut by him seriously trying to undo her flaws.

Strangely enough, it was working. She'd been able to get through an entire dance routine without falling once, though she still stumbled everywhere. He said that was natural for a novice, and she should really be more concerned with staying on her hooves than staying necessarily upright. It was encouraging; she was actually starting to enjoy herself.

Until she crashed into the phonograph again. It had become such a regular occurrence that she had gotten fairly skilled at putting it back together. But this time, as she returned the horn to its mounting and replaced the record, she heard heavy breathing on the other side of the room. She turned to see him with a hoof up against the wall, panting through clenched teeth. Her ears folded back.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm try--"

"What are you afraid of?"

The question caught her completely off guard, and she sat back. "What?"

"What--" he stalked toward her, head low to the ground, teeth still clenched-- "are you. Afraid of?"

"I don't understand."

"That's the problem! You don't--" He swung his head around wildly, stomped his hooves, and finally pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, I'm tryin' to be nice and pause to tell you a life lesson. I think we got off on the wrong hoof, and you're actually makin' progress. But you wanted to win that talent show, right? That's why we're doin' this!"

She nodded.

"Then why you holdin' back, huh?" He leaned in close to her again. "What are you so afraid of that you can't keep your eyes on the prize and give it a hundred and ten percent?"

She blinked at him. Then she frowned. Her, afraid of something?

As he stared at her, his eyes opened into focused green pools, vortexes that drew her in and told her timeless stories of movement and shadow, of longing and love and ecstasy. Above all, they were fearless, as he always had been, until the moment she gained a little power over him the other night. Her cheeks grew hot.

"I-it's just..." She looked at the floor tiles. "Every time I feel like maybe I'm making some progress, I start worrying. I always screw things up. My mother and my sisters, they're all pretty, or talented, or smart, and I'm just... not. I'm clumsy and gawky and I have to wear glasses and braces, and..." Hot tears slid down her cheeks.

A leg wrapped around her shoulders and a hoof drew her chin up to so she could look at him.

"Hey kid, it's okay, don't cry." He regarded her with a light moue, and she hiccupped. "So what if you're not as good as your sisters? My old man always said, you gotta try and be as good as you."

"G-good as me?"

He nodded. "Be the pony... er, the changeling, I guess, you were meant to be. Be her as good as you possibly can. And if that ain't good enough for somepony else, then it ain't worth listenin' to what they gotta say. Forget 'em." He poked her in the chest. "But first, you gotta start by lookin' at all those problems you have as obstacles to get past, not walls that stop you cold."

"Sway!"

They both looked to door as a grey earth stallion shot into the studio. He spoke in the same rough accent as Sway, so fast she could hardly him. "Sway," he panted, "I got bad news."

"Talk to me, Knocks."

Sway stood, and she tumbled to the ground as he trotted over.

"I-it's Foxtrot, she's real sick! Doc says she's gonna need a couple days' bedrest before she's better."

"Oh, no." Sway ran a hoof through his mane. "For serious? We got a show tonight! Ain't nopony else knows the routine like her!"

Knocks shook his head. "It's real bad, bro, I'm sorry. Maybe you could get Gingersnap or, or Lemon Cream..."

Sway scowled and made a guttural noise, stalking in a circle. He stopped on the second revolution, staring at Chryssy as if he'd forgotten she was there.

"Chryssy." He took a few steps towards her. "Chryssy, we been conveniently practicin' the routine Foxtrot and I usually do. Do you..." He slapped himself. "Sweet Celestia, I can't believe I'm even thinkin' about this, let alone sayin' it..."

"I'll do it!" she shouted, standing. A smile broke over her face as she realized what she'd said. "I'll do it, Sway! I'll overcome those obstacles like you said, and we can do the routine, a-and I'll even take on Foxtrot's shape so nopony knows the difference!" She did just that, then turned back, noting Knocks staring at her wide-eyed.

Sway gave a sharp laugh, looking between the two of them. Then he trotted over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Atta princess! You're a peach, a peach! Listen, take a break, go have some lunch, I gotta go check on Foxtrot. She's an old friend, y'know? When I get back, you and me are goin' through the wringer."

He laughed again, grasped her hoof, then charged off after Knocks, leaving her alone in the studio.

"The 'wringer'? I have a feeling I didn't plan this out too well..."

The "wringer", as it turned out, was four hours of nonstop dancing. She'd fallen more times than she could count, but every time, she envisioned a wall breaking down in front of her, and got right back up to do it again. She ignored the shouting, knowing he was just worried about his job and how well they'd do that night. But with a half hour left until the performance, Chryssy was feeling strangely good about the whole thing. Good enough, in fact, to go see her sisters.

"You know, I've been thinking..."

Diurna and Pierida lay in one of the rooms their mother had rented, the former reading a book and the latter snoring. Chryssy pranced up and down in front of the beds, stumbling only once.

"Don't injure yourself, dear," Diurna said, not looking away from her book.

Chryssy flung herself onto the bed, launching Diurna into the air. For her part, she seemed unfazed, only snatching her bookmark out of the air before landing on the mattress.

"Who needs a talent contest anyway?" Chryssy rested her chin in her hooves, wiggling her hips. "That's kid stuff. I've found something I'm good at and I'm going to be performing for a real audience."

Diurna sighed, marked her place in the book, and set it on the bed. She gave Chryssy a wan smile, folding her forelegs. "Do tell."

"I'd rather show you." Chryssy grinned, braces glimmering in the afternoon light. "Make sure you come to the dinner show tonight in the ballroom. I'll be in disguise, of course. In fact," she added, with a little laugh, "you might not recognize me at all, not when you see how good I've gotten thanks to Sway's dance lessons! Who knows, maybe I'll even go places!"

Diurna's expression did not change. "What a joy. I'm sure there's no way that could possibly go wrong."

Hopping up, she giggled and swished her tail. "Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for the performance. See you later, sisters! Enjoy your silly talent show!"

She didn't look back as she trotted out of the room and slammed the door behind her.

Diurna let out a long breath, then turned to Pierida.

"Did you get all that?"

She got a grunt in response.

"Good. You and Nympha know what to do."

The lights were awfully dim. How was she supposed to see her hooves? Not to mention she felt uncomfortable in Foxtrot's body, and even worse thanks to the green dress that clung like moss to her sides. And there were rather a lot of ponies out there, in the darkness, just waiting to run their gleaming eyes all over her stolen body. She missed her wings.

She barely managed to stifle a shriek when Sway put his hoof on her shoulder.

"Don't chicken out on me now, Chryssy," he said in hushed tones. "You know the routine, just follow my lead and it'll be over before you know it. Okay?"

She swallowed. "O-okay."

"Obstacles, not walls," he said. "This is just the kind of experience two formerly antagonistic ponies are likely to bond over. C'mon, that's our cue."

He moved out onto the stage. She did her best to swallow her fear and joined him.

They swept around the stage, smiling at the audience, and then they began to dance.

All those eyes twinkling in the dark: an obstacle. She pushed through.

Her trembling knees: an obstacle. She pushed through.

The complicated dance steps: an obstacle. She pushed through.

The dance was graceful, but also technical. They would flow one way, stop, and flow the other without ever missing the beat. She placed her hooves where they needed to be. She let him lead her through the tune, and put on flourishes a half beat after him. It made them look like a moving sculpture. Her smile widened.

The song was nearly over. She recognized this swell in the music. He crossed to the other side of the stage from her and knelt down. She turned, sweeping with her hoof, and ran at him.

That was when the camera flashed, right in her eyes. She blinked and teetered, nearly losing her balance. Worst of all, she stopped. Sway's smile grew plastic.

"Do the lift!" he hissed through his clenched teeth. She nodded ever so slightly, took a step back, and...

"Boo! Boooo!"

The voice sounded strangely like Nympha's, but with an earthy feel, as though she were in disguise. Her nerve lost, she rushed to him and they simply embraced. With taut expressions, they finished the last few steps, turned, and bowed. The audience applauded. Chryssy was very happy when Sway pulled her back behind the curtain.

"Sway, I'm sorry, I--"

"No, don't apologize." He ran a hoof through his mane. "You done good, they liked it, we're the only ones who know what it was supposed to look like."

"Not the only ones!"

They whirled to find Cellar Keg behind them, tapping his hoof.

"I have to say, that was one of the most disgraceful displays I have ever seen, Noble Sway. And you, Foxtrot! I'd heard you were ill!"

Chryssy opened her mouth, but Sway stepped in front of her.

"It's my fault, Mister Keg. I convinced her to dance even though she was sick. Don't blame her, it's on me."

Cellar Keg nodded, his eyes wide. "I should say it is! I put up with a lot of horseapples from you because you tend to deliver the perfection that I expect! That the audience expects!"

"Well, they liked it," Chryssy mumbled, earning a pointed glare from Sway.

Cellar drew in a deep breath. "Yes, I suppose they did, with one exception. But at Cellar Keg's, quality is our priority. See that you uphold it in the future, or the quality of your paycheck just might decrease!" He turned and stomped off, pausing after two steps. "And find a healthier dance partner before the next show!" With that, he fumed off.

Chryssy waited until he was gone before dropping her disguise. The dress hung limply over the points of her frame. Her head drooped. "I'm sorry, Sway."

"It's okay, Chryssy," he said, his voice tight though he gave her a hug. "Ya did really good. Stayed on your hooves and everything. It wasn't perfect, but I'm proud of ya."

"You mean it?" She sniffed a little.

"Well, yeah." He chuckled and they moved toward the rear exit. "I mean, yesterday you could barely walk without tripping, and tonight? You went through that routine like a pro. I feel like we even bonded a little."

"I didn't do the lift." She avoided his gaze, shame-faced.

"It don't matter. Cellar Keg gets twitchy this time of year." He lifted her chin and fixed her with an intense gaze. "Listen, you ain't the one that works for him. What he said? Just let it flow over ya."

Chryssy sighed. "Well, I'm still sorry Foxtrot got sick."

He shrugged. "Ain't your fault neither. Hey, listen, I'm gonna go check on her, you wanna come?"

She shook her head.

"All right. Catch you later, Chryssy."

She watched him go, feeling something tug at her, but unwilling to follow it. Once he was out of sight, she scowled at the dress. Its limpness mocked her, reminding her that she wasn't even as pretty as a pony. She was halfway out of it when she heard hooves on the floor and turned toward them.

"Sway?"

"Hardly."

Her breath caught in her throat as she faced her four sisters. They smiled at her, mocking, even Diurna.

"Quite the little screwup you are," she said. "If Cellar Keg finds out what you did, ooh, I don't think you'll be going anywhere except home in a hurry."

"I didn't do anything," Chryssy protested. "I was helping Sway."

"Sway, Sway!" Nympha said, mocking her. "After tonight, he won't want anything to do with you!"

"He's my friend! He said he was proud of me!"

"Kind lies from a kind pony." Hedylie licked her lips. "Just wait till he learns what the doctor found out about his beloved dance partner, heh-heh."

Somethin icy clawed its way into Chryssy's stomach. "F-found out?"

"Drained of love," Diurna purred. "By changeling magic."

Nympha gave her a wicked grin. "It'll be no problem convincing him that you were the one who did it."

"But I was with him all day!"

Pierida laughed. "Yeah, but Hedylie did such a good job on Foxtrot that she won't be able to tell one changeling from another."

"What?"

Hedylie's eyes bugged out. Nympha smacked her forehead. Diurna made a slashing motion across her throat at Pierida, who blundered on.

"Yeah! They're all gonna think you seduced and drained her so you could have that Sway pony all to yourself!" She laughed. "Ooh, it's gonna be a... What, why's everyone lookin' at me?"

Diurna swarmed upon Pierida and grabbed her by the throat. "You've said too much, you oaf!"

Pierida paled. "B-but I thought we were showing our hoof early, like Mom told us!"

Diurna drew a hoof down her face. "Not that much. You monologue enough to gloat, not give the jig up!"

"Sisters, she's getting away!" Nympha took to the air and the other three scrambled after her, piling up in the doorway and getting stuck. "I told you not to eat so much, you hog!"

"I've got a big exoskeleton!" Pierida protested.

Diurna and Hedylie screeched.

Chryssy had a big head start, but in the crowd of ponies exiting the dining hall, she stood out, even at night. If she changed form, the magic would give her away. But if there was one thing she had learned after a lifetime of being the second-youngest and out and out scrawniest of her sisters, it was how to evade them. She didn't really want to do this: it was crass and unseemly, but quicker than emotion magic. Plus, Nympha was right on her tail.

She took a deep breath and farted.

Well, the ponies nearby her thought that was what she had done, anyway, pinching their noses with their hooves. After they'd breathed in a lungful or two of the pheromones she'd excreted, however, their looks of disgust were replaced by starry-eyed bliss. All it would take a little push.

"Oh myyy! Look at that little cutie!" she squealed, pointing the nearest pony at Nympha. Her younger sister was but a few body lengths away, ready to pounce, when all at once, half a dozen ponies swarmed her, moaning in pleasure and whispering dirty things in her ear. Nympha shrieked as the pile of amorous equines pulled her out of the sky.

"I'll get you for this, Chryssy!"

Chryssy was already long gone.

The sky opened up as she pounded the turf between the chateau and the staff sleeping quarters. She knew where she could find Sway.

She nearly ran headfirst into Hard Knocks, stopping short only because of her recent dance training.

"Knocks, where's Foxtrot's cabin?" She panted, out of breath.

"Uh... Number eleven, why?"

"Thanks!" She took off again, leaving the earth pony muttering about crazy changelings.

When she reached the cabin, the light was on. Sway stood as she appeared in the doorway, panting and sopping wet. In the bed lay Foxtrot, dazed and muttering incoherently. The doctor pony, another unicorn, was nearby, and stood also.

"What's the meaning of this?"

Sway closed the distance to the door. "Chryssy, what's up?"

"It is my fault," she gasped. "Foxtrot... my sisters..."

"Hey, hey, easy now. Take a deep breath." He led her inside, grabbing a towel from across the room for her. "Tell me, in small words."

Chryssy gulped in air before answering. "My sisters... drained Foxtrot of love... they were trying to get to me.. I had to tell you before the rumor spread."

The doctor's glasses fell from his face, saved from the floor only by the chain around his neck. "Good heavens, so it is true!"

Sway eyed her. "I don't get it. Your sisters did this?"

She nodded. "Hedylie seduced her and drained her."

Sway looked over to Foxtrat and mumbled, "Always knew you was a slut." Reasserting his composure, he turned back to Chryssy. "But why would she do somethin' like that?"

"From the day we were hatched, we've always fought." She sat down, swiping the towel over her eyes. "Whoever wins becomes queen. So we plot and we scheme, and we try to kill each other and our mother constantly. But they've never all ganged up on me like this before. I'm scared, Sway. I could be in real danger."

Sway nodded to the doctor, who sat back down, and put a hoof around her, looking into her eyes.

"So you're tellin' me your crazy sisters doped my friend and almost killed her, just to make you look bad?"

She nodded, afraid of what he might say next.

Sway's eyes closed and he took in a deep breath. "All right, Chryssy, now you listen to me. That talent contest is in two days, which means we got two days left to montage. You win, and they're beat, right?"

She nodded once more.

"Okay. You and me, we're gonna dance like we never danced before. I'm gonna do everything I possibly can to make you win that contest, and we're gonna get your sisters back for what they did to Foxtrot. Capiche?"

"Capiche." She had no idea what that meant. "But... why do you care about my sisters?"

He closed his eyes. "I know what it's like not to be loved. Us alicorns, we used to live in harmony with the other pony tribes: earth, pegasus, unicorn, crystal and night. Then one day, some ponies decided they didn't like us no more. Oh sure, the Princesses of the Sun and Moon, they're great. They make day and night, so they get to rule over everything." He chuckled wryly. "But a Princess of Grass? Or a Prince o' Dance? Don't really need those. So they took away our domains, made us obsolete, whittled us down to just a hoofful, besides Celestia and Luna. When I said we was a dyin' breed, I meant it."

He looked back over at Foxtrot and the doctor, who weren't paying attention.

"Chryssy, when I look at you, I don't see a princess or even a changeling. I see an adorable, scared filly who's had a rough deal in life." He stroked her mane gently. "Call me a sucker for hard-luck cases, but I wanna help that little filly to be not so scared. And if that means beatin' her evil sisters at a dance contest, then by my sister Luna's mane, that's what I'm gonna do. You with me?"

"Y-yeah," she mumbled, staring up at him, unable to process what he'd just said.

"I said are you with me, Chryssy?" he shouted, grasping her shoulders with both hooves.

She caught his infectious enthusiasm and smiled. "I'm with you!"

"Then let's do this!"

"No, no, no!"

Chryssy kicked the phonograph stand. Sway was just barely able to keep it from breaking up with his magic.

"Whoa, take it easy!"

She growled and stomped her hoof. "I'm not getting it! Argh, I'll never be good enough!"

"Hey, hey." He circled around her, touching her side gently. "Just calm down, you know that ain't true."

She wrinkled her nose, pouting. "This is just the same old same old, Sway. You saw the audience last night. They'll applaud for any old thing. But I need something fresh, something new! If I want to win..." She paused, looking up at him. "I need to dance like you did, that first night!"

He blinked. "Whattaya mean?"

She pressed her chest against his, lifting a hoof to the back of his head. "That dance I saw at the party." Waggling her hips, she pushed him backward. "I'd never seen anything like it, but I know it's the key I need to win this contest. Not just beating my sisters, but winning the whole thing." She drew her face close to his. "Can you teach me to dance dirty, Sway?" He flushed, and she grinned.

"Uh, I... Yeah, I guess. But Mister Keg's gonna be mad when he finds out..."

"Then we'll just have to be... confident." She grabbed his head and turned it to they were nose to nose. "Won't we?"

"Yeah. Confident." He grinned, lopsided, and took a step back from her. "C'mon. Get up on your hind legs."

That was, of course, easier said than done, and for a few minutes, Chryssy felt like she was back at day one, falling all over herself. But with his help, she was able to balance. He wrapped a leg around her waist and drew her close.

"The secret to this dance," he began, "is there ain't no secret. You do what you wanna. You kick off your shoes, you cut loose, an' you don't let nothin' hold you back. Hold back, and you're gonna look like a baby bird floppin' around in a puddle."

"Got it." She nodded, removing the band holding her mane back. "Uh, Sway? You alright?"

He was staring at her. "I, uh..." He cleared his throat. "That's a good look on you."

She grinned. "Thanks! I usually wear it up, but like you said, nothing holding me back!"

"All right, let's just... give it a try." He swapped records and started up the phonograph. "Just listen to the music, close your eyes, let it flow through you, and do whatever comes naturally."

What came naturally wasn't just dancing, it was moving, feeling, until their hearts beat for one another. There was nothing physical physical about it, yet it was more carnal than she could have imagined.

They kept doing what came naturally until an "Uh..." came from the doorway. The music screeched to a halt and so did they, staring at Hard Knocks, who in turn stared at them.

"That's the last time I come in here for no reason," he mumbled, before turning, stiff-legged, and leaving.

Obsessively clearing their throats, they disengaged from one another, and looked pointedly at the walls.

"I should, uh," she said.

"Yeah, me too," he said.

And so they did.

Changelings and ponies weren't supposed to fall in love. But she'd tasted its sweet tang in the studio as they danced.

Did Sway have feelings for her? Worse, did she have them for him? Being around him had left her breathless and giddy. They had started out on the wrong hoof, sure, but now, he wanted to help her just as much as she'd wanted to help him. No one had ever wanted to help her before. And he'd done it, not just made empty promises he couldn't or didn't want to follow through.

But Ponies and changelings weren't supposed to fall in love. Changelings were supposed to present themselves as objects of affection, and then feed on the love provided by the pony. Sway either didn't know that, or didn't care; part of her hoped it was the latter.

Did she care? Sort of. After all, she had been raised as a changeling princess. There were standards she was supposed to meet, even if she didn't meet many of them. Even if those who held her to such standards weren't changelings she particularly cared for. Even if he was more supportive, kinder, and more pleasant to be around than any of her family had ever been in her entire life combined.

She spent the rest of the night dancing before the mirror, imagining Noble Sway holding her, and thinking about what she would wear for the talent contest. That is, until Nympha come in unannounced and caught her dancing by herself. She laughed for minutes on end and said something about things being obvious.

Chryssy spent the rest rest of the night hiding under her bed.

"Be on your best behavior, Chrysalis dear."

Her mother had called her over to her table only to give that cryptic remark and wave her off again. Chryssy could only wonder about the vague grin tugging at the corners of Io's mouth.

Backstage, the nervous concierge gave all the participants their order in the day's proceedings. The five changelings were scheduled for the middle of the lineup, Chryssy last among them.

She was wondering when Sway would get there when a rough hoof pressed against her shoulder.

"Sway...?"

She spun around only to get a hoof in the face. She grunted and fell to the ground, clutching her nose. Behind the hoof was Diurna, glaring furiously. Hedylie, Pierida and Nympha joined her, with scowls that could have cut steel.

"W-what are you--"

"You," Diurna snarled. "Because of you, we're on thin ice with mother."

"Someone let out what we did," Nympha said, glowering.

Chryssy tried her best to return their glares. "That was Pierida's fault! Take it out on her!"

"We already have, heh-heh," Hedylie said, her voice dangerously neutral.

Pierida muscled her way past the others, sporting a puffy eye and a fierce glower. "Now it's your turn!" She kicked Chryssy in the jaw, knocking her backward.

Remembering she had wings, Chryssy tried to escape them, but they pursued. Hemming her in, they pushed her into a corner of the backstage area.

"You have always been the worst of us, Chrysalis," Diurna said, breathing hard. "It's time we put you in your place once and for all!"

Blows rained down.

Unable to overpower her sisters physically, Chryssy tried to fight back with her magic. Though she got in a few good hits of her own, Diurna and Hedylie were able to overpower it, and Nympha and Pierida got in more body blows. Chryssy could feel parts of her shifting that shouldn't have been.

"Your hair is stupid and so are your braces!"

"You're such a screwup, heh-heh."

"I hate how skinny you are!"

"Dancing isn't that important!"

She closed her eyes; this was really the end.

"Knock it off!"

Just when she thought she was a goner, the assault was brought to a standstill by a flash bright enough to see with her eyes closed. She cracked open one eyelid as much as she could and saw her sisters suspended in a dark green magical glow. Behind them, eyes blazing, was Noble Sway.

"I may be a washed up mook workin' his flank off for pocket change, but I am still an alicorn Prince!"

With a burst of power, he flung the four shrieking changelings through the stage exit door. He collapsed to one knee, panting, and grinned at her.

"Nopony puts Chryssy in a corner."

Fast as she could, Chryssy was at his side, holding him.

"You were so brave!"

He laughed weakly. "It was nothin'. Just wish I was the Prince of somethin' a little more powerful, y'know?" He tilted her chin up gently and winced. "Look at you... I can't believe your own family would do somethin' like this." Taking a deep breath, he said, "D'you think you can still dance?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe. It hurts."

He nodded slowly. "Chryssy, even though we got no chemistry, over the last couple days, well I've, uh... I've gotten to like you. A lot."

"I know," she said, stroking his face and smiling. "I'm a changeling, remember?"

"Oh, yeah..."

"I feel the same way about you, I think," she whispered.

"Chryssy..." His gaze roamed over her, and his gaze hardened slowly. "Take my love. Use it to heal yourself, make yourself stronger, whatever. Just go out there and dance your little heart out, okay?"

Her hoof flew to her mouth. "But Sway, you strained yourself fighting off my sisters! If I drain you now, you could end up worse than Foxtrot!"

He chuckled. "Just don't overdo it, okay? I trust you. I'll watch you from here."

She hesitated for a long moment. Then, slowly, she touched the tip of her horn to his and fed on his love. Her cracks and bruises healed instantly. She felt stronger, more alert. Only when he gasped did she remember herself and stop feeding.

She had fed on love before, of course, but something about it being freely given invigorated her in ways she'd never thought possible. Like lust, it was intoxicating, yet it also nourishing.

"I'll do it, Sway," she said, rising. "I'm gonna win this thing!"

"Do it for me," he said, voice weak. "But most important... do it for you."

Wincing, she gently lifted him and turned him around so he could see. She planted a kiss on his forehead, and strode onstage. The pegasus accordionist who had been performing gaped at her before being hip-checked off stage.

"E-excuse me, Your Highness," said the concierge through chattering teeth, "but this is highly irregular."

"Irregular nothing," Chryssy said, feeling a rush of adrenaline from asserting herself. "Princesses get what they want. Hit it!"

The pony at the soundboard hesitated, then started up the song she'd picked. It was energetic and hip, and above all sexy. She started to dance.

She shook her hips. She crawled across the stage. She poured herself over every prop that had been left up there. The whole time, she kept her eyes on the audience. They ate it up.

Then someone shouted "Hey, that's our dance!" and before she knew it, the house staff ponies had paired up and were grinding and churning against one another in the aisles. They got the audience in on it, too, switching off partners willy-nilly, even the blind old earth pony mares.

Chryssy turned to stage left and beckoned to Sway. He hoisted himself up, looking conveniently more fit than he had, and pranced out to join her. They moved together, around, through and all over one another as the music played on.

The only pony who was not enjoying the lurid display was Cellar Keg. He was in fact sputtering to Queen Io.

"What is the meaning of this? Are you seeing this, Io, because I certainly can't believe my eyes! It's that no good alicorn, I'm sure of it! He's corrupted your daughter! Why, when I get my hooves on him, I'll--"

Io silenced him with a band of magic around his muzzle.

"I told her," she said, calmly and slowly, "to be on her best behavior." Releasing him, she smiled. "That's my girl."

The dancing lasted long into the night, the talent contest forgotten. By the end of it, everypony had loosened up, had the time of their lives, and possibly become pregnant. Sway and Chryssy had snuck off in the middle of things after she whispered something in his ear. They went down to the water's edge, the moon reflecting off the calm waves of the cold mountain lake.

"I can't believe it's only been four days," Sway said, holding her close. "You're like a completely different character than when I first met you."

"I feel different," she said, tracing the lines of his face. "Thank you, Sway. Thank you so much, for everything. I love you."

"I love you too, Chryssy."

She giggled. "It's Chrysalis."

He laughed. "Chrysalis, then."

His wind-ruffled mane was like fire against the night sky. She gazed into his eyes, and the passion that they had been holding back those four days burst forth at long last. They leaned in toward each other. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips. She extended her mandibles, face splitting into four parts, and took a bite. He shouted and screamed wordlessly into her mouth as she slowly consumed his head. The screams eventually stopped, and when she was done, she shuddered in ecstasy. His body performed a similar motion, twitching, spasming, and falling off the dock to be swallowed by the murky waters below.

She belched and smiled, looking up at the moon and licking the blood off her lips with her long forked tongue.

Then a shadow of doubt crossed her face.

"Oh, pooey," she huffed, crossing her forelegs and pouting at the water. "I was supposed to mate with him first!"

She sighed. "I really need to work on planning things out."

Author's Note

This story is somehow the fault of Ion-Sturm and the Writeoff. Unfortunately, it was a writeoff at least two years ago, and I've kind of forgotten how or why he inspired it. So I guess I'll just say that it was an excuse to write cute Dorkalis and "Nopony puts Chryssy in the corner". Also, if you've ever actually seen Dirty Dancing, I kinda thought the movie needed to focus on the dirty dancing part more, so I did that. :B

Thanks to all the writeoff crew who offered advice. I was a dumb and didn't write your names down but you know who you are.