GIMME DAT FLANK!

by Shadowmane PX-41

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy
Length: 1170

When surrounded by ponies that want Twilight equalized, Marx decides to spare her a horrible fate, provided that she upholds her share of this unexpected bargain...

Surrounded by ponies who suffered from the Equality Curse, including her own friends, Twilight seems to be at the end of her tether, and right at Mayor Marx's mercy.

However, what Marx wants from Twilight is a fate even worse than death...

[DISCLAIMER] This is a short one-shot idea that popped into my head at some point in time. Don't expect this to be taken seriously in the actual episode when it comes out.

Published 2015-02-21 16:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-21 16:20:01 UTC

The Quest for Booty

"How did it come to this?" Twilight asked as she gazed at the menacing visages of each of the ponies surrounding her. Her attempts at spreading the Magic of Friendship had failed miserably, and she was now at the mercy of a town that wanted to erase her destiny, and replace it with their own shared destiny.

Each of the surrounding ponies spoke not a single breath, lest they fell out of their leader's line. Instead, their cold, soulless eyes stared directly into Twilight as they continued circling her. Each and every one of the equality ponies had the same looks, soulless eyes, yet phony grins plastered onto their faces.

"Please... just spare me..." Twilight begged as her pupils dilated in fear with how claustrophobic she felt in this situation. Even if she did fly out of this, she would be overwhelmed by the Pegasi with the curse, and instantly lose all other attempts to escape. She had also debated on using her magic to get herself out of the situation, but she was so panicked that she couldn't even focus.

"Girls... Come on, just tell me you're playing along with this..." Twilight threw herself against each of her friends, hoping that one of them would give her a subliminal message to say that they were just playing along with the mayor's vile schemes. However, each and every attempt proved futile when she was plucked from each one of her friends in order, from a Unicorn's aura.

Eventually, the crowd stopped, and opened their formation up so that the mysterious Mayor Marx could enter the ring to interrogate Twilight. She had purple and green striped hair, her skin was light pink, and it too bore an equals sign on her flank. However, unlike the rest of the ponies who fell to the equality curse, Mayor Marx seemed to be more in control, as her smile wasn't as wide as the other ponies. She watched Twilight hang her head, so she used her own hoof to prop it up so that Twilight was looking right at her.

"You know, Twilight Sparkle, I've been looking at your Cutie Mark for quite some time now..." she smirked as she saw Twilight's sorrow quite clear as the morning sun. "It's a rather interesting Cutie Mark, I have to admit..." she stared at Twilight's Cutie Mark now, lightly pushing the terrified Alicorn's face out of the way. "I haven't seen many ponies with Cutie Marks that revolve around magic in the many years I've lived in this town. You're quite a rare pony, aren't you?"

"W-What are you gonna do to me?" Twilight asked Mayor Marx, the tears starting to fall out of her eyes and run down her cheeks.

"Simple. I'm going to do to you what I do to all of the ponies I associate myself with..." Mayor Marx looked at Twilight's Cutie Mark, then directed her attention to her loyal subjects, each one of them casting phony smiles right back at her. "But in order to do that, I need you to do one thing for me..."

"What do you mean?" Twilight calmed down a little, but was still rather worried on what would happen to her now.

"I want you... to give me your flank..." she cast a rather eager smile of her own as she looked at Twilight's Cutie Mark with a rather interested visage on her face.

"W-What?" Twilight blushed.

"Just lie down, and let me slap it... Let me slap that flank of yours..." Marx whispered in Twilight's ears, getting her to immediately feel something other than fear. "Just, give me your flank..."

"No!" Twilight got up to all four hooves once again and pushed Marx into some of her pony slaves, who immediately caught her.

"Give me that flank, Twilight!" Marx repeated as she got to her four hooves once again.

"NO!" Twilight bulldozed through the crowd of ponies and ran out of the caves quicker than a speeding bullet, with Marx quickly on her tail.

"GIVE ME THAT FLANK!" Marx repeated, teleporting in front of Twilight with an angry look placed across her face.

"NOOO!" Twilight screamed, using her wings to immediately dash over to the summit of a nearby mountain. She sat down and thought that she was safe, until she saw another flash of light by her hooves.

"GIMME DAT FLANK!" Marx was now wearing mountain climbing gear when she eventually tackled Twilight.

"NOOOOOOO!" Twilight screamed at the top of her voice and teleported herself. She then found herself back in the cave, with many of the equality ponies hiding behind her.

"GIMME DAT FLANK!" Marx repeated, appearing at the cave's mouth, looking quite steamed that Twilight wouldn't give her what she wanted.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Twilight didn't even know that she'd fired a stream of magic at the top of the cave's mouth, which looked like it was going to bring a large concentration of cave rubble right down on top of Mayor Marx.

"GIMME DAT FLANK!" Marx screamed, walking towards Twilight. It was only two steps after she'd started that she'd gotten flattened by the collapsing cave mouth. The impact had completely taken her life since she hadn't even been paying attention to it.

Twilight looked at the collapsed cave mouth, knowing full well that Mayor Marx was gone for good. She then flew deeper and deeper into the cave, so that she could fix the wrongs that Marx had done onto her former slaves...

"Thanks for saving us, Your Highness." one of the ponies said, glad to see his Cutie Mark had been returned to him at long last.

"Yeah, you really pulled through for us, Twilight." Rainbow Dash patted Twilight's shoulders, happy to know that the Magic of Friendship had saved the day once again.

"You know, I'm all for happy endings and whatnot, but I have one question to ask you, Twilight..." Rarity said, looking Twilight in the eyes once again.

"Sure, ask away, Rarity." Twilight smiled, knowing that she could handle any question that had been thrown at her.

"How do we get out of here?" she asked.

Upon the question falling on her ears, Twilight's pupils shrank once more. "Oh..." she remembered full well that the cave mouth had completely collapsed in on itself with the defeat of Mayor Marx, and that there was no other way out of the caves. "Well, now what do we do?"

"We could always sing campfire songs!" Pinkie said as she made a makeshift campfire and broke off different stalagmites which she could use to make a spark.

"I'll think of something, everyone..." Twilight said, examining the different sections of the cave which they were all trapped in. "I promise..."

Author's Note

If you haven't guessed it, this fanfic pays homage to a GMOD clip which I found to be rather hilarious. The video's below for your pleasure.

Sorry if you think this story's bad. I must have been bored out of my wits...