Polyphileos

by Trick Question

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Sex, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Fluttershy, Fetish, Comedy, Discord
Length: 1373

Discord's not used to "multiple friendships". His friends want to teach him, but may have something to learn themselves.

Discord isn't quite used to this "multiple friendships" thing yet. He has a lot left to learn, so Twilight Sparkle thought it would be a great idea for her friends to join Discord and Fluttershy for tea this week.

As eager as Fluttershy's other friends are to teach Discord about friendship in groups, they might have a thing or two to learn themselves.

Written for The Writeoff Association's "I Regret Nothing" contest.

Published 2015-05-31 17:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-31 17:30:02 UTC

Polyphileos

"I'm so glad you could join us for tea this week, everypony," said Fluttershy. "Our good friend Discord has really been looking forward to it."

"Glwd tw be hrr!" said Pinkie Pie, already polishing off her twenty-third biscotti. She promptly grabbed another hoofful of cookies from one of the serving trays on the table.

"Our good friend?" said Rainbow Dash. "Ow!" she yelped, taking a swift hoof to the ribs from the pony beside her.

"Let's at least try to be neighborly, Rainbow," scolded Applejack, withdrawing her hoof.

"It's quite alright, Applejack," said Discord, holding his paw aloft. "Since our first private meeting together, Fluttershy taught me there is an important difference between a casual friend and a close friend. I don't expect any of you to consider me a close friend like Fluttershy is until we've gotten to know each other much better."

"And that's exactly why we're here," said Twilight Sparkle. "Discord still has a lot to learn about friendship, and for one of the most interesting ponies—er, people—in Equestria, we really don't know that much about him," she said.

"Thank you, Twilight," said Discord, "though I must say, this whole, 'multiple friendship' thing does take some getting used to. Until last week, I didn't even know it was possible to have more than one close friend at a time. Silly me, being jealous for no reason at all," he explained, and then proceeded to eat a chocolate-chip cookie in reverse. He tossed the new cookie onto one of the cookie trays.

"Ewww, gross!" said Rarity, wincing.

"Don't worry Rarity, I'm keepin' track for both of us," said Applejack. She carefully grabbed one of the cookies that Pinkie Pie had actually baked and handed it to her.

"Oh, there's no need to worry. His cookies are delicious!" insisted Fluttershy, with a bright smile. Rarity returned the smile with a less-convincing approximation.

Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes, carefully examining the Discorded-cookie, then popped it into her mouth anyway. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Mmm! S'gwwd!" she exclaimed, losing a few bits of cookie in the process.

"But of course it's good! The secret ingredient... is love," said Discord, winking right at Rainbow Dash.

"Oh barf," said Rainbow Dash, making a face to match. "Not the cookie, I mean. The sap," she clarified.

"Mmm... you're right! I think tree sap is part of the recipe, Dashie!" said Pinkie, smacking her lips and tongue together.

"Indeed. An ingredient I picked up from Tree Swagger herself," said Discord, grinning widely. "Now that the cat is out of the bag, I'm pleased to report that Tree Chugger and Fluttershy and I are all getting along famously as close friends, as of last week. Do you remember those adorably awful hippie horse noises Tree Bugger makes? They can actually grow on you! Who would have thought?" said Discord.

"Oh, why yes, that's amazing. Hay, why don't we talk about..." said Fluttershy, nervously.

"And the Smooze is a close friend with each of us now, too," added Discord, "but I'm sure you gathered that by seeing how well Tree Tugger handled him at the Gala."

"Of course, we're all very friendly now. But, um, oh! Just the other day..." said Fluttershy.

"We're happy to hear that," interrupted Twilight Sparkle. "To be honest, I'm kind of surprised you weren't aware of how groups of friends can work. The six of us are all very close friends."

"Really? Very interesting!" said Discord, his eyes widening, quite literally. "A six-way friendship must be something to see!"

"I don't quite understand. Don't you see it all the time?" said Rarity.

Discord rolled his eyes in their sockets, again quite literally. "Oh please. Just because I can see anything I want to doesn't make me omniscient. Besides, I've already learned that friends should keep certain things behind closed doors, and I respect your privacy, Rarity."

"Oh. Well, that's surprisingly polite of you, Discord," said Rarity. "Thank you."

"I think this cushion on my chair is wet," complained Rainbow Dash. "Did Tree Hugger spill something on it at your last tea party?"

"My bits are on the Smooze," said Applejack.

"Actually, that one was Fluttershy's fault. Funny story," said Discord as he un-ate a snickerdoodle and tossed it toward a serving tray. Pinkie Pie leaped across the table, catching and devouring it mid-flight.

"Oh, please don't worry about the story, Discord. I'm sorry Rainbow... I meant to clean the cushions, but bringing everypony this week was Twilight's idea, and I didn't have much time..." said Fluttershy, fidgeting with her teacup.

"It's fine, Fluttershy. Nopony cares about a wet cushion," Twilight said. "And Discord, we're just as friendly outside as we are when we're alone. We don't need to hide our friendship from anypony. We want the world to see! That way ponies who see us can learn to be better friends by example."

Discord gasped. "Fluttershy! You've been holding out on me," he accused.

"Oh my," whispered Fluttershy, cowering on her chair. "You know, I think we might need to stop the party early. Angel gets very fussy if he doesn't have his..."

"It's okay everypony!" interjected Pinkie Pie. "Discord's just new to friendship and hasn't spent a lot of time around ponies. We can show him all sorts of friendship!" She then lifted a plate of cookies to her lips and slid the batch right down her throat.

"I would love to see more," said Discord with an evil look on his face, rubbing his paw and talons together. "Especially the relationship between you three and each of your little sisters. That one, in particular, surprised me."

"Why wouldn't we love our little sisters? They're family," said Rarity, taking a sip from her tea cup. "Granted, I didn't always get along with Sweetie Belle, but once I learned to respect her for who she is, I discovered she is one of most darling ponies to be with. In... small doses, at any rate."

"Wait a minute," said Twilight, as a look of horror began to crawl across her muzzle. "Discord, what exactly did you mean when you said friends keep certain things behind closed doors...?"

"Oh, you know, the usual: all of the sorts of special things close friends like Fluttershy and I do together when we're alone. Fluttershy, care to demonstrate?" asked Discord. Fluttershy's head was barely poking up above the level of the table.

Rarity looked confused for a moment, then her eyes opened wide. "Oh holy Celestia," she said, covering her mouth with both forehooves.

"Eeyup. I'm gonna need a cider. The aged kind, to be precise," said Applejack, her facial expression completely unchanged.

"Woohoo! I wanna see!!!" squealed Pinkie Pie, bouncing in her chair.

"Um, I don't get it. What the hay are we talking about?" said Rainbow Dash.

Pinkie leaned over and whispered to Rainbow Dash, whose wings promptly exploded open.

"WHAT?" gasped Dash. "But... but... that would mean... every week, for like, what, almost six months now? And now Tree Hugger too!?"

"Don't forget the Smoo-ooze!" added Pinkie Pie in a sing-songy voice.

"Ohmygoshno. The cushion!" yelled Rainbow Dash, leaping out of her chair. She scrambled backwards against the cottage wall, her wide-open wings apparently not responding to her.

Discord watched the ponies with a curious expression on his face, un-eating a third cookie and tossing it onto an empty tray.

"Oh no. Sap from Tree Hugger... Pinkie Pie, do NOT eat that cookie," said Twilight, her hoof shaking as she pointed at the vile confectionary.

"Wmmt?" said Pinkie, already eating the cookie. "Mmmm. But Twilight, it's organic!"

"Make that two ciders," said Applejack. "Though in retrospect, I s'pose it ain't that surprising Fluttershy's friendship means so much to Discord. Tain't pretty, but it sure adds up."

Rarity pushed away from the table, closed her eyes, and shielded her face with her hooves. "This simply isn't happening," she said. "Luna, wake me up please. Right now will do."

Discord furrowed his brow. "How fascinating! I'm guessing this might be a different sort of friendship than the one you've all been referring to..."

From beneath the table, Fluttershy squeaked something too softly for anypony to make out, but it's not like they were paying attention anymore.