Familial Complications

by CrowMagnon

Rating: teen
Tags: Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Twilight Velvet, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Night Light, Cloudkicker, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 8483

Eclipseverse: Lt. Sparkle has a rather complicated relationship with Ponyville's top weathermare, Cloud Kicker. It only gets more so when she decides to introduce Cloud to her family.

An Eclipseverse story almost entirely written at the last minute for Chengar Qordath's Cloud Kicker shipfic contest.

Lt. Twilight Sparkle and weather manager Cloud Kicker have been dating for several months now. More than friends, but with a relationship complicated by Cloud's free-spirited promiscuity, the two of them have nevertheless managed to find an equilibrium that works for them both.

That equilibrium may end up toppling over, however, because Twilight harbors a desire that may just throw everything they know and hold dear about each other into question.

She wants to introduce Cloud to her parents.

(Rated Teen for light suggestiveness.)

Published 2015-09-01 21:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-01 21:20:02 UTC

Familial Complications (or "Meet the Sparkles")

Familial Complications
by CrowMagnon

Twilight:

I've led an interesting life. That has never been in question. Ever since my fillyhood encounter with a cockatrice set the tone of my formative years, a quiet office job has never really been in the cards for me.

I've accomplished a lot, too. Yes, my career in the Royal Guard was short, but I was still one of the youngest officers in Equestrian history. Now, I'm in command of the Ranger outpost protecting the Ponyville region. Some ponies in the Guard might see that as a step down, but I feel as though I've done a lot more to actually protect ponies than I did back in Canterlot. They've still got my big brother looking out for them up there, after all. Plus, the close proximity of the Everfree Forest keeps throwing new challenges at me and my fellow Rangers, even without taking the world-shaking events of the past year into consideration.

Waking Night. The Winter Wrap-up hostage crisis. Mass foalnapping. Just last month, I had a mountain thrown at me.

Okay, technically it was a hill. It was still a pretty big hill.

In all of those battles, my knees had never felt so weak and shaky as they do today.

Today, I introduce Cloud Kicker to my family.

Cloud:

Today, I'm meeting Twilight's family.

Huh.

Weird.

I mean really weird. "Still hasn't quite sunk in that I'm actually doing this, even though I'm standing in the Best Pony Boutique getting put into the dress Twilight rented for me specifically to make a good impression" weird.

"But Cloud Kicker, you sexy beast," you might ask, "isn't it normal to meet your marefriend's parents?" And that would be where it gets awkward.

Are we marefriends all of a sudden? When did that happen? We're definitely something, but that's the way I feel about anypony I've banged more than five times, and never got taken on a dinner date specifically to meet their families. I thought we were both on the same page. Buck, she's the one who came up with the whole "it's complicated" thing to describe what we've got that always brings out that cute I'm-a-little-embarassed-but-also-really-happy smile that just makes me want to pounce on her every time I see it.

Sweet sleepy Luna's starry mane, how does a mare who survives having mountains thrown at her manage to be so adorable?

Smack!

Oops. Stupid wings. They just shot up on their own, and one of them hit Spot Light right in the backside. I've always thought she had a nice butt, but I'd never harass a married mare like that. And definitely not after she threatened to snap me in half the first (and last) time I tried to flirt with her and Sunburn.

She could do it, too. Her wife might be the one in the Rangers, but Spot Light is freakishly strong for somepony who spends all day stitching clothes together. "Ah-heh... sorry there. Guess you touched a ticklish spot," I joke.

Instead of laughing it off, her pretty pink face scrunches up into a glare I usually only see on angry griffons. "A ticklish spot. While I was facing away. Getting a ribbon."

Okay, bad idea! Better try honesty. "... I swear it was an accient. I was thinking about my date tonight."

Thankfully, blessedly, Spot Light's scowl starts to fade away, and she offers an understanding smile. "Oh, is that so? Well, isn't that romantic?" She pulls out a spool of ribbon and starts weaving it through my mane.

I have to admit, I'm not one for fancy dresses most of the time. Ponies evolved with a nice, healthy coat of fur for a reason, and clothes just get in the way of a good time, more often than not. Still, she's got me set up so I can look at one of those big three-part mirrors so I can see myself from different angles, and those are three fine-looking mares looking back at me.

Call me a narcissist if you want, but it's more a testament to Spot Light knowing her stuff. The ribbon winding through my mane goes perfectly with my eyes and the sparkling gems dangling from my ears. Clip-ons, despite the rolling of eyes Spot Light gave when I insisted as much. I just like my body and how good it's been to me too much to start jabbing needles into it for anything other than medical reasons.

Once she's done, Spot Light steps back and rubs her chin in thought. "Hmmm... it's still missing something. Ah! A sash!"

Looking into the mirrors, I check myself out and reply, "Really? I think it looks pretty great as is." Seriously, I put a little effort into looking good on a day-to-day basis, but looking at my reflections, seeing the way the dress and jewelry enhances my features, and that slit in the back that shows off some thigh all the way up to the cutie mark... Bi-ZAM! I can't believe I'm wearing this to meet Twilight's parents.

Huh.

That is weird.

Meanwhile, Spot Light comes up and wraps a sash around my waist, pulling it tight to give me more of a "wasp-waisted" figure. Okay, I can see how that would--

Erk!

"T-too tight...! Too tiii..." I wheeze, gasping for air as I feel the sash crushing the breath out of my lungs.

"Oh I'm sorry," Spot Light says, giving me the most fiendish, saccharine smile imaginable. "Guess you touched a ticklish spot."

This is why I don't dress up very often...

Twilight:

Breathe in... breathe out. Wash, rinse, and repeat. Was the neckline of this dress always so tight? It didn't feel that way back in the Boutique, but every time I think about tonight, it's like there's not enough air. Considering I'm standing outside on the railroad platform, I'm guessing that isn't literally the case.

I am looking forward to seeing my family again. I really am. Ever since I... moved away... I've kept in touch through letters, and we had a very nice Hearth's Warming Eve get-together in my apartment.

And honestly, introducing them to Cloud Kicker is hardly the worst thing in the world, but considering how much mom already worries about my career choices (joining the Guard was one thing, but being a Ranger posted right next to the Everfree Forest...) I just hope that when they meet her, they'll be able to see Cloud the way I do.

Ah, and that's their train pulling in. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself and assure myself that it will be alright. Cloud may be a lot of things, but she's charming, witty, and knows how to get along with ponies. Well, most ponies, anyway. As long as she doesn't get too flirty, I... oh. Buck me. We're doomed.

No. No! I am not going to fall into that trap! Not tonight. It's going to be fine. We're all going to meet Cloud at the restaurant, we are going to have a pleasant dinner.

"Hello, Twilight! It's so good to... see you?"

And tomorrow we'll have a fun day together while I try to convince my parents that, despite occasionally getting attacked by immortal demigods, Ponyville is where I belong now.

"Twilight?"

This is my home now, and I don't have to... I can't go back to Canterlot. They have to accept that, both the bad and the good. I just don't know how I'm going to--

"Twilight Amethyst Sparkle!"

I practically jump out of my skin, jolted from my thoughts by my mother's voice full-naming me. "Ah! M-mom! Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry. I was just... daydreaming," I stammer.

I know, I know. You would think that I would be able to talk like a fully-grown mare, but despite all of my training and everything that I've done to protect ponies, I still turn into a timid little filly around my parents.

My father steps up and smiles. "It's alright, Twily, we know you've had a lot on your plate, lately. I just hope it's nothing so important you can't give your old parents a hug."

Heh. Leave it to my dad to smooth things over. "Never," I reply as I move in closer to embrace my parents. That's when I realize who isn't there. "Oh, where's Shining Armor? I thought he was coming with you." There aren't very many ponies getting off the train besides my parents, and none of them are my BBBFF.

Mom and dad return the hug, and mom tells me, "He ended up having to deal with some Royal Guard business at the last minute, but he said that he would catch the next train."

Oh. Well, I suppose that's understandable. I was hoping he'd be with us the whole way through, though, because it would be a lot less awkward if he were here--

"You know, honey... he does have a lot of responsibilities ever since he was promoted to Captain of the Guard. I'm sure it would help Shining a lot if you re-enlisted..."

--To cover for me in situations like this. "Mom... please, can we not get into this again?"

"I'm just saying that he isn't as organized as you are, and..."

Dad clears his throat. "So, Twily, when are we going to meet this lovely marefriend of yours?"

"Oh, she's not... um... here," I blurt out, almost saying 'she's not my marefriend,' and that is not a conversation I want to have without backup. It's complicated. So, instead I just tell them, "Cloud's going to meet us at the restaurant."

Dad nods, appeased by this answer. Phew. "So, should we have dressed up for this? Your last letter didn't say there would be a dress code."

What? Oh! I look down at myself, and the dress I got from the Best Pony Boutique for this date. I'd really just wanted them to get a good impression of Cloud and my life here in Ponyville, and figured that nice, girly dresses would keep them from thinking about what I do for a living. So, not only did I fail to meet that objective, but I didn't even think about how awkward it might look for us to be decked out in all our finery. My parents are middle-class, by Canterlot standards, so of course they came au naturale. I am such a...

No! No, not tonight. I do my best to play it off very casually, and laugh it off. The sound that comes out of my mouth is more of a forced cackle, but nevertheless, I tell them, "Oh, no, there's no dress code, I just... got it on an impulse and wanted to show it off! That's what mares my age do when everything in their life is just super!"

Wow. If my acting is half this good in that musical my friends and I have been working on, I'll be swimming in Gropeys... right around the time I ascend and become an alicorn princess.

Giving my parents my widest, most desperate-for-them-to-think-it's-sincere smile, I say through my teeth, "So... I'll just lead the way then!"

Celestia help me, I hope Cloud does better when we catch up with her.

Cloud:

Luna help me, I hope Twilight's handling things on her end.

It feels like my ribs are still aching, but I checked. That little "accident" left a bruise around my midsection, but nothing's cracked. I'll be right as rain before long.

I don't know if I've got Spot Light's wife to thank for that or not, but I'm still grateful she came by when she did and put a stop to it. As nasty as she can be to anypony else when she gets in the mood, that mare turns to putty the instant Sunburn walks in the room.

So now I'm sore and nursing a glass of Applejack Daniels (huh, wonder if the Apple family has anything to do with that) at the bar while waiting for Twilight and her folks to show up. What am I even going to say? It's not quite the same as with some of the other ponies I bang. I'm pretty tight with Lyra and Bon Bon, and I've met their families, but that was in my role as a friend. The fact that I have fairly regular threesomes with them didn't even factor in.

Twilight's introducing her parents to her friend/lover/wingmare. Her "it's complicated". We're meeting up so we can get their approval. That's something I've never put myself through before.

Well, except for that one time I met these two stallions who wanted to make me the middle of a very sexy sandwich, but I didn't find out they were father and son until after we got started. And then they both started calling me "Summer Breeze".

So, in hindsight, I have been in more awkward situations than this. This time, though, there's no safeword I'm aware of.

At least I can take a little time to appreciate some of the stares I've been getting. The seamstress may have tried to kill me, but this is still one fine dress, and there are some familiar faces looking my way.

I shoot a sultry, inviting smile over toward one table in particular. That would be the one where Thunderlane is sitting with Flitter and Cloudchaser. Judging by the look on his face, he's trying to figure out if it's actually his boss or not, while the ladies are looking on with what is either seething jealousy or smoldering lust. My twin fetish compels me to believe the latter.

I'm even contemplating the idea of going over and flirting a bit when the mare I've actually been waiting for comes in and takes my breath away.

Twilight told me that she was going to be wearing a dress too, when she insisted that I get in one. Between her short mane, military training, and the fact that she spends the more active part of her workdays in armor, I've never seen her looking so feminine as she does right now. Between the blue, cape-like dress with a starry pattern around the edges, as well as on sheer stockings on her forelegs that match her color so well that they look bare, the way it shrouds, but doesn't hide her fit, supple body, and... okay, she's got this weird, constipated look on her face when she first walks in, but then she glances around until she spots me, and that painful grimace just melts away into the most adorable, genuine smile I've ever seen.

I immediately set down my drink and leave some bits on the counter as I slink my way toward her. Bruises be damned, Twilight spent good coin on this dress, and I am going to make sure she gets her bits' worth. Judging by the blush lighting up her cute face, she most definitely is.

"C-cloud, I'd like to introdu--"

I just can't help myself. The instant I'm close enough, I lean in to kiss her right on the mouth. Oh, she just lets out the cutest little squeak at first, but then she closes her eyes and I feel her pressing her lips back against mine. Of course, I do remember that we're still in public, much as I might like it to be otherwise right at this moment, so after a few seconds I pull back and get a look at the other ponies who came in immediately after her.

Hoo boy, if I thought Twilight was blushing, her parents look like their faces are about to catch fire. Maybe they're just not used to seeing their baby girl kissing another mare. I've seen that before. Still, it's obvious where Twilight gets her cuteness from. Aside from coloration and a few very small lines under her eyes, her mom looks almost exactly like her, and her dad... well, Twi tells me he has a desk job up in Canterlot, so I was expecting some extra padding, but he obviously hits the gym or something to keep the pounds off.

Anyway, it's time to put on the Kicker charm. No, not the full Kicker charm. I'm trying to make a good impression, not talk them into bed. Let's go with an oldy but a goodie. "So, I see your brother and sister. When are your parents getting here?"

And it works like a treat, too. Still blushing, Twilight replies, "Oh! Right! Cloud, this is my dad, Night Light, and my mom, Twilight Velvet. Mom, dad, Cloud Kicker."

It's hard to get a read on the mom. The "sister" bit seems to have softened things, but she's still giving me a dubious look. Night Light seems a little more approachable, at least, and clears his throat as he steps forward. "Hello, it's nice to meet you. Our daughter's written a lot about you in her letters home, Miss Kicker."

"Oh, you just call me Cloud," I assure them. No reason to be super formal. Maybe this will go smoothly after all.

Twilight:

Oh, thank Celestia, this is actually going well.

After that... passionate greeting, I was a little worried, but after we did the introductions and got taken to our seats, everypony settled in and started making small talk. Right now we're sitting in a booth with me and Cloud on one side, my parents on the other.

"So, Twilight got me reading some of your books," she says to mom, who perks up a bit.

"Is that so? Did you like them?"

"Yeah! I burned through the Twin Stars trilogy in like two weeks. How do you come up with all your ideas?"

"Oh, a lot of it is just my own experiences made fantastic," mom replies, and actually smiles a little at that while glancing my way. I smile back. It's not exactly a secret who the main characters, "Stardust and Aegis" are based off of. Turning back to Cloud, her smile droops a bit as she adds, "I'm actually working on a sequel to those stories right now. Stardust... gets separated from Aegis in a storm, and finds herself lost in a dangerous land far from home."

Oh. I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm no literary scholar, but it doesn't take one to know where this is going, or who mom is really talking to right now.

For her part, Cloud just says, "Well, that sounds like it'll be a great read. Let me know when you're done, and I'll make sure to grab a copy!" Then she turns to dad and asks, "And Twilight says you work in the palace?"

"Just as a part of the Civil Service Bureau," dad says with a modest shrug. "It's nothing glorious, and no, I don't see the Princesses very often, but I am a cog in the machine that keeps Equestria from imploding in on itself as my dear old friend Dotted Line likes to say. That's good enough for me."

Dad levitates a breadstick over toward himself and asks, "So, Cloud, Twilight says you're in charge of the weather around here? I have to admit, I was a little surprised to hear Ponyville had its own weather team. I thought most towns this size contract out."

"Most do," I interject before Cloud can say anything, "but Ponyville has a long tradition of self-reliance that dates back to its founding. The history is actually pretty fascinating, especially how it led to the town becoming one of the most tribally mixed settlements in all of Equestria. Thanks to that, there are enough pegasi living right here that the town can afford to have its own weather department."

Now, everything I just said is quite true... I just left out the way that close proximity to the Everfree Forest and the wild weather that sometimes comes out of it are the main reason why Ponyville's founders created incentives for so many pegasi to live here in the first place. The less my parents have to think about the Everfree and how it relates to my own job, the better.

Thankfully, that answer seems to be good enough for dad, as he nods along. "Well, that's a pretty prestigious position for a pony your age. So what's it like, managing all those ponies?"

"Oh, it's really not that hard," Cloud replies, leaning over a little to put a wing across my back. "The core team is actually pretty small, just me and a group of highly-trained specialists who know how to handle different weather patterns. We're more like a group of close friends, really, but whenever we need more hooves on deck, there are plenty of pegasi willing to pitch in part-time. After all, you never know when some wild weather is going to come out of the Everfree Forest."

Oh, no. That is not where I wanted this topic to go. I very, very subtly try to signal Cloud to cut it off right there.

Cloud:

Okay, I'm not really sure why Twilight's started making frantic slashing motions with her hoof across her throat. I know what it means, but I'm not sure why she's doing it right now.

Meanwhile, her parents have this nervous look on their faces. Not much surprise there, because it's a pretty typical reaction to anypony mentioning the stuff that comes out of that death trap. "And is that... frequent?" Velvet asks.

Twilight is shaking her head, not even trying to be subtle about doing so. "No, not really," I reply casually. "Usually it's just some clouds or fog. Every so often we get an unscheduled thunder storm, but once the wild magic from the forest fades out of them, they're just ordinary clouds."

Twilight breathes a sigh of relief, so I beam at her and decide to make her look even better for her folks. "Not like the monsters that come out of there. It feels like there's some new pony-eating horror popping its head up every other week, but your daughter and her Rangers always buck them right back where they belong. She's a real hero," I say, proudly hugging her closer.

Huh. That look on their faces isn't exactly what I was expecting.

"Pony-eating horrors?" Her mom looks a little more pale than usual.

"Sh-she's exaggerating! Cloud, you're always exaggerating. Stop exaggerating," Twilight stammers, letting our a rather forced laugh.

Well, buck. I'm not quite sure how, but I seem to have thoroughly stepped in it. Naturally, I don't seem to know how or went to shut up, either, because before my brain can kick in, my mouth says, "I don't know what you're so worried about. Your daughter's stared down rampaging demigods without flinching. Heck, she almost single-hoofedly rescued my little sister and a whole lot of other foals just a few months ago. Compared to that, a few timberwolves or rat kings are hardly anything."

"Rampaging... demigods? Foalnappings...?" Hoo boy. Twilight's mom looks about ready to faint, and Twilight herself is burying her face in her hooves. Even her dad looks like he's about to choke on his bread.

Whispering out of the corner of my mouth, I ask, "Uh... Twilight? They knew about this, right?"

"They do now," she groans.

"Twilight Sparkle, you said that you were barely involved in those incidents!"

Seriously? How can they not know about this stuff? How was I supposed to know they didn't?

"I have to agree with your mother, Twily," her dad says with a concerned frown. "This really doesn't sound like what you wrote in your letters."

"Because I knew this would happen," Twilight replies, and the hurt in her voice makes my heart ache. Sweet sleepy Luna, what hornet's nest did I kick open here? "I knew that if I told you everything, you'd just worry, and that you'd try to talk me into leaving."

"Of course I'm worried! How could I possibly not be? I don't know why you're doing this to yourself, Twilight, but now we find out that you've been lying to us, and it's even worse than we thought!"

Twilight winces and hangs her head, which just makes my chest hurt more. Especially because it was my fault for opening my big yap in the first place. I've been in enough family squabbles to know that speaking up again will probably just get everypony mad at me without doing anypony any good... but buck it, Twilight doesn't deserve this. If somepony's got to take a fall here, it might as well be me.

Just as I open my mouth to speak up, though, I end up choking on the words as they die in my throat.

The host has just arrived at the table, leading a gorgeous hunk of stallion straight to us. "Here you are, sir. Your server will be by shortly to take your orders."

"Thanks," the hunk says with a nod before sidling in next to his parents. "Hey, everypony, sorry I'm late. Did I miss... any... thing...?" He looks around the booth and sees his sister's and parents' dour expressions, but when he looks my way and I see a flicker of recognition in his eyes, that's when he trails off.

Buck me.

Buck me straight to Tartaros. Do not pass "Go", do not collect 200 bits.

I've banged Twilight Sparkle's brother.

Twilight:

There's this saying, "It's always darkest before the dawn." I sure thought that my parents finding out that I'd been downplaying... okay, lying to them about my part in some of the more dangerous events of the past year was going to be the lowest point. As soon as Shining Armor showed up, I felt a swell of hope that he'd be able to smooth things over, though. He's always been so much better at talking these things through than I am.

That hope shriveled up and died pretty quickly, though, the instant I saw the look between him and Cloud, and things immediately became incredibly awkward.

Why? Why are they looking at each other like that? Have they met? Why aren't they saying anything? Oh no, now they're avoiding eye contact. Why are they doing that?

I know... I know that there's one explanation that immediately comes to mind. It would have to be during that business trip Cloud took to Canterlot, but they wouldn't do that. Shining would never do that, and Cloud would never let him! There has to be another explanation.

"So, uh... hi. Fancy seeing you here," Shining says.

"Yeah... Small world, huh?" Cloud replies.

And that muffled pop you just heard is an aneurysm going off in my brain like a cherry bomb.

My thoroughly confused mother asks, "Shining, have you two met before?"

Shining and Cloud meet gazes again, then he looks down at the table and coughs into his hoof. "Yeah. I am so sorry, Twily. We met at a single's bar in Canterlot last month, and she seemed nice and really easy to talk to, so one thing let to another... but I swear, I wouldn't have done anything if I knew she was your marefriend!"

Cloud just mutters, "It's complicated..." but beneath the shock, I am just completely furious. How could he?

Shining nods awkwardly. "Yeah, that's what Twily told me. I'm still sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry?!" The shock numbing me is like a shell, but one that starts to crack from the sheer anger building up. I barely even notice Cloud edging away from me, I'm so furious. "You cheat on Cadance, and you think 'sorry' is anywhere near good enough?! I can't believe you!"

He blinks, and his eyes widen. "What? Wait, no, I never--"

"You! Just! Admitted it!" Who in Equestria does he think he is, trying to make excuses after betraying one of the sweetest, kindest ponies I've ever known? Not my BBBFF, that's for sure! My anger just keeps building and building until it explodes.

Literally.

Cloud:

What just...?

Is that...?

I...

I think I might have just lost the deposit on this dress.

One second, Twilight is yelling at her brother about some "Cadance" pony while she actually starts levitating out of her seat. The next, his horn glows and this pink bubble forms around Twilight.

And then she bucking explodes!

I'm looking at her now through the shield, and there's just this Twilight-shaped fireball inside, and while it's muffled quite a bit, I can hear her screaming in absolute rage.

And then, just as suddenly as it started, the flames sputter out, leaving a woozy, slightly smoldering Twilight who is covered in the soot of what used to be a beautiful dress, but otherwise perfectly fine. She starts to slump over, and I immediately reach out to hold my bubble-wrapped Twilight up before she falls across the table.

While I'm doing that, Shining Armor quickly tells her, "Twilight, I promise you, I never cheated on Cadance. I just..." He takes a deep, slow breath. "We broke up."

"You... wha...?" Twilight looks a little out of it, but it looks like she got it out of her system. I'm not sure I have, because my whole body is trembling after that display. "Why...?"

Shining gave a sad little shrug and replied, "I don't know... A few weeks after you moved out, she started getting more and more distant, and then one day she just broke up with me. Said something about us not being 'meant to be', and how do you even start to argue with something like that? So, last month, a few of my old friends from school dragged me out to this bar, and..." He blushes, and damn. I'm still a little worried about Twilight, but he's almost at her usual level of adorkability when he's embarassed. It's no wonder we hit it off that night. "Again, I'm really sorry. If I drop this shield, are you gonna blow up again?"

Twilight licks her lips and sticks her tongue out when she gets some ash on it. "Bleh... no." When he drops the forcefield, she leans into me, getting my own dress rather sooty, but I don't mind. I'm just glad she's not on fire anymore. "And I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have just assumed the worst... but you never told me you two had broken up in what... seven, eight months?"

"A-heh... well, I just..."

And that's the host shows up again, looking extremely nervous. "Ah... excuse me, but... th-the manager wanted me to inform you that this is strictly a no-smoking establishment," he says, pointedly shooting a wary look at Twilight, "... so I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Everypony at the table shares a look, and as one, we all tell him, "Fair enough."

Twilight:

Oh, thank the Sisters for all-night hayburgers. Thanks to my temper getting the better of me back there, I could really use some comfort food a lot more than what we would have gotten to eat back there. And not just for the emotional satisfaction, either. Emitting that much energy burned a lot of calories.

It also gives me an excuse to not say anything until I'm good and ready to. Not as long as my mouth's full.

That doesn't mean that I don't still notice things, like Cloud staring at me with this awestruck look on her face. Plus, unlike me, she's still all dressed up and unbearably gorgeous. I'm so ashamed that she had to see that... and that Shining had to protect her from me like he did. After swallowing a large bite, I set the rest of the burger down and hang my head in contrition. "Cloud, I'm... I'm sorry, I lost control there. It's kind of a magic surge that triggers when my emotions completely run wild, and I..."

Cloud just blinks at me while I fumble through my apology, and interrupts with one of her calm, easy smiles. "Hm? Oh, what, that? Nah, I was just thinking about how pretty you are," she replies, so genuinely that my heart starts pounding in my chest. And, of course, being Cloud, she has to point a hoof at my face and say, "though you did get a little sauce, uh..."

She waves her hoof around, indicating my entire face.

My cheeks warm up, and I levitate some napkins over to wipe myself clean. Once I'm done with that, I take a deep breath, and what starts as a sigh turns into a burp. "Urp... excuse me." I look down at my plate for a bit as an awkward silence settles over the table, then look up to Shining. "Sorry about Cadance, Shiny. I just never expected you two to break up. Are you okay?"

Shining nods and smiles back, but I can see it straining him, just a little bit. "It's fine, Twily. Water under the bridge, but I know what you mean. It seemed like a sure thing that we'd get married and spend the rest of our lives together, y'know?" I nod in agreement. Before I left, it seemed like they were together so much, they were practically sewn together at their cutie marks.

He wistfully looks up to the ceiling and muses, "I figured she'd probably get assigned to a little kingdom in some distant corner of Equestria where we could settle down, have a few kids... I guess a part of me thought that if I didn't tell you that, then maybe it wouldn't really be final. Maybe I could still... win her back, somehow. I know it's stupid."

Ouch. "Maybe just a little, but I can understand, Shiny," I tell him, reaching a hoof out across the table toward him. He smiles and returns the gesture, bumping hooves over the table.

While we're doing that, Cloud shakes her head. "It's totally her loss," she says, putting her hoof down on the table. "I only needed to talk to you for ten minutes to figure out you're a stand-up stallion. And you're a total stud who knows how to treat a mare. You won't have any trouble finding one who appreciates all that."

Through my own groaning and everypony else's utter embarassment, Cloud stands strong and tells my parents, "Look, I get that it's embarassing, Ms. Velvet, but if anything, you should take it as a compliment for raising your son right." Oh, Celestia, just stop there. Just stop. Just-- "And if he takes after your husband, then you are a very lucky mare."

Shining coughs into his hoof to try and hide a lop-sided little smile at that assessment, which I simultaneously try to scrub out of my brain. Both of our attempts are total failures. "Well, thanks, Cloud. I'll keep that in mind."

Also sitting across the table, mom is looking at the three of us, clearly still not knowing what to make of what she just found out. Eventually, she lets out a sigh of resignation and looks at Cloud disapprovingly. "Well, I can't say that I'm especially happy about this turn of events, but I suppose there's nothing we can do about it now. At least it happened before you started dating my daughter."

Oh.

Horseapples.

"Welllllllll, actually..."

Cloud:

Yikes. Okay, I'm not winning any points with the mom. Well, I guess most ponies wouldn't be too happy about finding out the pony who's banging their daughter also banged their son in a one-night stand. There's just no putting a smiley face on that.

It's like a flood. You can't stop it from being a flood; just try to divert it where it won't do as much damage. As long as the folks think what they think right now, it won't be so bad.

"Welllllllll, actually..." Twilight takes a deep breath. "We've been going out longer than I implied."

I don't even have to look to picture how much her parents' eyes must be bugging out. I still do, though. Yep, pretty much exactly as I thought. Twilight, what are you doing?

"Cloud asked me to help her organize Tornado Day," she explains while everypony is still too stunned to speak. "The more time we spent together planning and putting things together, the more we realized we both really liked spending time together. So once we pulled it off, we celebrated with our first official date."

"Are you saying... that when she... used our son for some fling... she was doing it behind your back?"

Oh, horseapples... I reflexively shrink back in my seat as Twilight's mom shoots me a look so cold I think my hooves have frostbite. "It's... complicated?" I glance toward the dad, but as much as he was the more friendly of the two before, now all I see is hard steel glaring back at me, making me sink even further down into the seat.

"I just... I don't understand, Twilight. You got so angry at your brother, but you won't stand up for yourself when somepony cheats on you? What are you doing to yourself here, sweetie? Why are you shutting us out like this?" Oh, no. I know that tone. I've heard it plenty from my own mom, and it doesn't sting any less right now. That's the sound of a mom whose kid turned out very different than they always hoped, and she cares too much to not try to fix things.

Leaning forward across the table, her dad says, "Twily, your mother has been worried sick since you left home."

"Terrified!"

"And I've tried to keep an open mind about everything that's been going on lately. We are both so proud of you and everything you've done for Equestria. We loved meeting your friends and seeing your new home, but ever since then, you've just been throwing yourself from one crisis to the next. Hooking up with a reckless mare who'll end up breaking your heart... fighting monsters in one of the most dangerous places in Equestria... it feels like you're either growing addicted to this sort of thing, or you're... I don't know, like you're punishing yourself for some reason."

Her mom pleads, "Please, sweetie, just come home."

And that's when I really feel the stabbing sensation in my chest. As much as I want to take offense at the characterization... no, that's not why we hooked up. She's pretty much the most amazing pony I've ever met. As cute and sexy as can be, incredibly strong, and impossibly smart. I've seen her plan things out, and she sees thousands of outcomes every single time she puts her brain to the task. She...

Wait... did she sees this coming? She knows me. She knows me better than pretty much anypony outside my immediate family. That means she knows that I'm not the sort of mare that ponies introduce to their families. But... no, she wouldn't set all this up just to make our relationship crash and burn, would she?

She wouldn't do that to herself... She wouldn't do that to me... unless maybe she looked at the outcomes and figured it would be better for things to hit their logical conclusion sooner than later. Before she does get hurt or worse in one some heroic last stand, or I bang a pony that she really can't forgive me for... before I really do break her heart.

Oh, Luna, did I do that already? I never thought I'd hurt her, but then I went and banged her brother, of all ponies. I look over to her and place a hoof against her shoulder. "Twilight...?" But she's a million miles away, hanging her head in shame.

Buck me.

Is that why she picked me? Out of all the ponies in Ponyville she could have had wrapped around her hoof, she went for the one who was guaranteed to sleep around. I'm pretty good-looking and excellent in bed, but ponies don't hook up with me if they want something that'll last. A genius like Twilight... she'd probably decided there was no real future for us ages ago... but even thinking that for an instant feels like my heart is being ripped out. Buck me, I wanted more time. I just...

I feel her hoof coming up to touch mine. Then Twilight raises her head slowly, like a giant rising up from beneath the earth, showing a different face than she did before.

This is the mare who survives having bucking mountains thrown at her.

Twilight:

I love my parents dearly. I really do. And I know that they love me.

That doesn't mean that I can tell them everything, but it does mean that I owe them the truth.

"Mom, dad, this is my home. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you the truth about everything going on in my life... or about the danger. I was trying to make it easier for you to accept, but I just made you worry more. I really am sorry about that, but you're wrong. I'm not staying here in Ponyville to punish myself, I'm staying here because I love this town." I squeeze Cloud's hoof and turn to look into her beautiful violet eyes. "Just like I'm with Cloud because I love her."

I lean in to kiss her, and the way her body stiffens up, wings springing to attention, before relaxing again into my embrace, it's like I managed to surprise her even more than she did me earlier.

Even Cloud isn't any more surprised than my parents, though, who stare slack-jawed at the two of us.

Mom starts to stammer, "But... Twilight, she--" I reluctantly pull back from our kiss to cut her off, though.

"She told me, mom. After her trip to Canterlot, she told me she'd spent the night with a nice stallion. I didn't know it was Shining, because I never asked for more details." And I certainly don't say anything about how Cloud had suggested trying to find him again, saying he'd be "perfect for me". Nopony, and I mean nopony needs to know about that!

I take a deep breath to push that back out of my head, and also to steel myself to explain. "And I was okay with it, because we aren't exclusive. Yes, we're dating. Sometimes romantically, sometimes just to spend time together, and sometimes, she's my... wingmare."

I can feel my face heating up again saying it, but there it is, and I try to smile, even as my parents couldn't look more poleaxed if they tried. "It's complicated. I know it's not what you expected. A year ago, it wouldn't be what I expected either. I didn't know how to explain it to you, so..."

I hesitate to go further, and glance up at Shining. I'm not about to throw him under the chariot, but he's my BBBFF, so he gives me an encouraging smile and nods his head once before telling them, "So she told me. About everything."

When their shocked gazes turn toward him, he explains, "The Rangers are technically independent from the Guard, but they're only able to operate with the crown's blessing. That means reports on Ranger activity end up going through my office. And she sent me letters telling me about her 'it's complicated'." With a blush he adds, "Though I'm kinda wishing you'd sent a more detailed description, Twiley."

Cloud and I both grow extremely flushed at that. Then dad gathers his wits and asks, "So you knew this whole time... and didn't think we should know?" When Shining nods, he says, "I... think we're going to have to have a very long talk about this..."

And mom, hurt and confused, asks, "But why put us through all of this? Why... why invite us here to meet this mare if you're not...?"

I look around the table and try to explain, "I guess for the same reason Shiny didn't tell me about Cadance breaking up with him? Because... telling you makes it real." I look back at Cloud, and gaze into her beautiful, shimmering violet eyes. "And it is real. It's not traditional, and maybe it's not even stable, but it's real, and I wanted you to see that."

Cloud is trembling now, in my hooves. Even more than right after my... combustion. Her lips move to speak, but no sound comes out, like she's completely breathless, and I see tears of overwhelming happiness start to flow down her face.

Cloud:

And that's when I faint like some damsel out of a trashy romance novel.

Best and worst end to a date in my entire life.

Eventually, though, I do wake up again. It takes a little while for everything to come back into focus, but when it does, I start to recognize Twilight's apartment. Cozy, minimalist, fully-stocked bookshelf taking up almost an entire wall... and a mare who is so completely too good for me, sitting beside her bed (which I'm currently laying in) and looking at me like I just raised the moon.

"Hey, are you okay?" I saw some bruises while I was undressing you, and..."

"Oh, that? Don't worry about it," I reply, wincing a little at the memory. "Just the result of a badly timed wingboner."

Twilight raises an eyebrow, but knows me well enough to know that I'm probably telling the truth. "Okay... how about the rest of you?"

I let out a chuckle and joke, "Yeah, I'm fine... I'm usually more hung-over when i wake up like this. I'm glad I'm not, though."

"Me too," she replies with a smile as she leans in to kiss my cheek.

Feeling a blush forming, I pull the covers up to my nose. Buck, after everything she said before I passed out, I feel like a little schoolfilly with a crush again. Glancing around, I see that we're alone and ask, "So... I guess you carried me here?"

"With a little help from Shiny," she says with a nod. "He and my parents are staying at the hotel for the night, but we're meeting up again. I was planning on showing them the sights now that everything isn't all covered in snow... but I imagine we'll be having some long, awkward conversations. It's okay if you don't want to join us, and..."

I stop her by reaching out a hoof to pull her down toward me. "I'll go." Honestly, I don't know if being there will make things better or worse, but after Twilight poured her heart out like that earlier... I'm promiscuous, not heartless. And right now, my heart's telling me to say what I tried to on my way to Blackout City. "I love you too, Twilight. I honestly don't know how you put up with me..."

And there it is... that "it's complicated" smile. "Because you make me happy, Cloud. And I don't need you to change who you are or how you enjoy life to be happy with you."

We kiss again, and this time there's no audience to cut it short for. Nevertheless, when my hoof starts wandering toward her flank, she does pull back out of embarrassment. "Uh... I'm sorry, Cloud. I'm really not mad, but it's still going to be a while before I get over the idea of... you know... my brother."

Oh. Right... "Ah. That's fair..." I pull my hooves back, though it doesn't stop me from being rather awkwardly aroused right now, to the point where I won't be able to just get back to sleep. So, after about a minute of just looking at each other as we lay in bed, I ask, "So... who's Cadance?"

"Hm? Oh, right. Shining's ex." Twilight pouts a little. I guess she must have really liked her big brother's old flame. "When I was a filly, she was my best friend's foalsitter. She was kind of a surrogate big sister to our little circle of friends, even though she was an alicorn."

Okay, that wakes me up, my eyes bugging out wide. As far as I know, there's only one mortal alicorn alive in Equestria right now. "Wait... your brother dated...?"

"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, yeah."

"Wow." After taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I say, "Okay, two questions: First, that explody fireball thing... you only do that when you're mad, right?"

She looks embarassed, but nods. "Yeah. I hope you weren't too scared... it really takes a lot to set me off like that."

I give her a grin and reply, "That's cool. Actually... I thought it was a little sexy." Terrifying, but sexy to know that my mare can rage-mode into a flaming goddess of war. And good to know it isn't just any emotion that triggers it. I will get certain privileges back eventually, and don't want to risk getting my tongue burned off. "So then my other question. When we see your brother tomorrow...?"

"Yeah?" She furrows her brow, trying to figure out where I'm going with this.

"... Do you think you could ask him which of us was better in bed? Me or Cadance?"

I have a very hard time keeping myself from busting into laughter, her jaw drops so fast. "W-what?! I can't ask that!"

"Oh come onnnnn," I whine, before breaking out into a snicker-fit. "How often does a mare get to find out how they rank against the bucking Alicorn of Love? And I can't ask, myself, that'd be awkward!"

"Gah, you're terrible," Twilight grumps, levitating a pillow up to smack me with. I grab one between my hooves and return the favor, and we go at it like that until I burn off enough energy to drift off to sleep, legs and wings wrapped around the mare I love.

Both:

It's complicated, what we have. It's messy and weird and I don't know how long it can last. But moments like this...

It's perfect.

Author's Note

This was made as an entry for Chengar Qordath's Cloud Kicker shipfic contest, but it's absolutely canon with my other Eclipseverse stories. It also serves as proof that yes, I can write one-shot slice of life if I really try.

It was very fun to write, even though it turned out to be very different from what I originally planned to do. The original idea was to tell the story of how they got together while working on preparing for Tornado Day. That's still a story that I would like to get to some time, but it would have also involved more of the Mane6, and I was so busy finishing up another story, The Cutie-Marky Tales, that I wouldn't have been able to do what I wanted with it in time to meet the deadline. As a result, this story was born, exploring a different stage of Twilight and Cloud's relationship