Rarity's New Boyfriend

Spike was busy doing nothing, something he loved most to do, sitting on the couch half naked watching ‘Diamond Dog Detective’. Twilight and her dad were the only people to come in today, Mr. Light was in a rush so they didn’t stay long, still it was nice to chat with the little twerp. Just as the episode ended there was a knock on the door, Spike made his way to the door, struggling to get his pants on, he opened the door, a mustached man in a floral polo shirt and a neatly dressed little girl. “Lemme guess, this is the cutie I’m gonna be watching today.” Spike chimed, trying to act friendly.

“Yea, me and the misses have some ‘matters’ to discuss, and this little lady shouldn’t be there for it..” the man said with a chuckle, “The name’s Hondo Flanks, and this little one is Rarity.”

Spike look to Rarity, noticing her staring at him in awe, quickly snapping out of it she curtseyed to him, “P-please to make your acquaintance.”

Spike smiled, “Tone it down kid, I ain’t nothing special. So Mr. Flanks, do you know when you’ll be done with your ‘matters’?”

“Erm, well it’s our anniversary night, so I was thinking… until tomorrow?” he asked unsure.

Spike’s eyes grew big, “Uh uh, nothing against you or your daughter but I can’t do until tomorrow, that’s asking wayyyy to much.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Hondo asked pulling out a fat stack of cash, “I’ll be around by 9 am tomorrow, so it being around 3 pm now to when I get here, I believe your total is two-hundred-sixteen dollars. And I’ll throw in eighty-four since this is a special request from you.”

“Okay, now you made it too good to turn down, nice doing buisness with you Mr. Flanks.” Spike replied happily as he took the money, shortly after shaking his hand. “C’mon in kid.” Spike said as he opened the door a bit more, Rarity nervously walked inside.

“You two have fun now. I know I will!” Hondo laughed as he walked away. Spike closed the door as he turned to Rarity.

“I uh… I like your dress.” Spike complemented, trying to appear polite. It was a nice dress though, dark shade of purple , coming all the way down to her ankles with a fancy little flowers in a repeating pattern along the bottom, matching well with her bag.

“Thanks,” she replied as she rubbed her arm, blushing..

“So, just do whatever you want, watch Tv, play games, I think I got a coloring book around here. Bedroom is off limits and so is the rest of the upstairs aside from bathroom.” Spike said, assuming position back on the couch. He looked back to the girl, noticing she was still standing there, “Sorry if I came off intimidating or something. you alright?”

“You called me cute… earlier.”

“Uh… sorry?” he replied, unsure what to say.

“No it was sweet, I’m just embarrassed about it is all. I th-think that you’re… um… Cute too.” she said, brushing her shoe along the ground in a concave manner.

“Now I know how you feel, I don’t know how to respond either.” Spike said with a chuckle. “Don’t think much about it, I was just being polite.

“You don’t really think I’m cute then?” she quivered.

“No I mean I do but I… Yea I think you are but… Yes you’re cute.” he muttered, giving up. He tried changing the subject, “Do you know any girl at your school named Twilight or Fluttershy?”

“I know the Fluttershy girl, she doesn’t talk to anyone, or I haven’t seen her talk to anyone. I heard that Twilight got pulled out to be put in a private school.” she answered, walking over to the couch, sitting down next to Spike.

“... They have private school for second graders?” asked ask puzzled, making Rarity giggle. “She was in here earlier, getting books and talking with me?”

“You know her?”

“Yea I watched her while her parents were going out for the night.”

“Do you… think she’s cute too?”

“I guess so, why ask?”

“Do you have a crush on her?” she said, scooting closer to Spike.

“What? Of course not, she’s eight… or seven, I forget.” he replied flipping channels.

“So you don’t like eight year olds?” she asked with a pouty face?

“Um, duh. I ain’t no pedophile, why do you care anyway?”

“You called me cute so that means you must like me!” she exclaimed, red faced.

“That makes zero sense. And if that’s the case then fine, you aren’t cute!” he replied aggravatedly. He shouldn’t have said that, the girl brow receded from mad to sad in an instant, her lips quivering, she burst into tears and ran upstairs to Spike’s bedroom. He chased after her, a bit too late behind her as the door slammed in his face, knocking him flat on his ass. Spike stood up, opening the door, the girl shaking under his blankets as she sobbed to herself.Spike rubbed the back of his head as he approached her, “Shucks kid I didn’t mean it. You are cute, in fact you’re uh… you’re even cuter than Twilight.” Her sobbing not stopping, Spike felt genuinely awful, both for her and for his wallet. If she told her dad she cried while she was here, bye bye three hundred dollars. “Look kid I’ll… I’ll be your boyfriend.” Of course he was lying, but it wouldn’t be long until she saw what a slob he really was didn’t care about him anymore… he hoped.

Her quivering stopped almost immediately, a whimper escaping as she asked,” R-really?”

“Sure kid, sure. Let’s be boyfriend-girlfriend, whadda ya say?” he said, pulling the blanket off her.

She hopped up on him, hugging his neck tightly and kissing his cheek over and over, “Yes yes yes!”

Spike dreadfully put on a smile, “Alright kid alright.” he moped, peeling the love stricken kid off of him. ‘Great, I’m a pedophile now, only in anime and hentai am I lolicon, not real life!’ “So ‘new girlfriend’, what do you want to do?”

“Uh… let’s go to the park!” she answered.

“Can we not?”

“If you don’t I’ll cry again.” she replied dully.

“Let’s go to the park!” Spike exclaimed enthusiastically. He grabbed his hoodie from beside his bed, and proceeded to the park with his new ‘girlfriend’.

The two strolled through the park together, it was surprisingly cold out since earlier so Spike had to surrender his coat to her as he suffered shivering in silence.

“Ahem,” she coughed, Spike looking down at her, “If we’re gonna walk together we should hold hands,” she said with a smile as he held her hand out to his, the hoodie’s sleeve pulled back to allow her tiny hand to escape. Spike reached out and held her hands, like a mini heater they were so warm to his icy fingers. “Not like that,” she nagged. She reconfigurated her fingers, pushing hers into the space between his fingers, like you would when you twiddle your thumbs. “You gotta do it like lovers hold hands.”

“How do you know what that is?!” he screamed, appalled.

“You don’t think I don’t know what my parents are doing back at home?” she replied. “I may not be smart but I know what sex is.”

Spike honestly did not know how to reply, he just kept his mouth shut as the purple haired little girl hummed to herself as they walked down the paved park trail together, hoping no one else was out to see them.

“So boyfriend, what do you do for a living?”

“We’re doing it right now, the library covers it’s own costs. I still gotta do something to cover me though.” Spike groaned.

“Wow that’s… pathetic.” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

“That’s no way to talk to your boyfriend.” he replied.

“Touche,” she giggled.

“Spike!” a distant voice called out. Spike turned his head to notice Scootaloo jogging at them.

‘THIS IS THE LAST FUCKING PERSON I WANT TO SEE RIGHT NOW!’ Spike screamed internally. “H-hey Scoots!” he replied as she drew closer, trying to play it cool. Rarity pressing down hard on Spike’s hand.

“What’re you doing out here? And what’s with the kid?” she asked, jogging in place.

“I’m uh… babysitting right now.”

“Pbblt, loser. Hey, are you gonna be busy this Saturday?”

Rarity gripping his hand as hard she could, “Owh... Uh yea I shouldn’t be doing anything unless another kid needs sitting.”

“Sweet I’ll be over then with a twelve pack, catch ya later pedo.” she replied as she continued her jog.

Spike let out a sigh, watching her run off into the distance. “Kid why’d you give my hand the death grip for?”

“I don’t like her,” she muttered, pressing closer to Spike.

“Whatever, she’s just a friend, kid.”

“I’m your girlfriend, not some kid!”

“Alright damn, sorry. Me and her are just friends. I used to work with her before I started babysitting.” he replied as they continued their walk. People they passed along the way giving Spike dirty glances, ‘Is it so wrong to hold hands with a kid?! How do they even know what’s going on?’

She gasped in joy as she saw a ice cream vendor, “Make it up to me by buying me ice cream.” Spike sighed, reaching into his pocket, subtracting two dollars from his three hundred dollar wad as they approached the vendor.

“What do you want kid?” he moped

“Strawberry!”

“Alrighty.” they approached the vendor, looking a lot like… Spike’s previous boss!

They locked eyes, he sighed heavily, “Great, first Scootaloo comes by and calls me a faggot, and now you show up.”

“What’re you even doing here?” Spike asked.

“When I’m not working the store I’m doing this to get some money on the side. You want something or not? I’m very busy.” Spike glanced around the Park, an old woman feeding some doves and a man walking his dog was all that was in sight.

“Riiiiiiight, anyway. strawberry scoop for the kid.” she elbowed his side, “My uh… girlfriend.”

“We don’t serve pedophile’s at this stand, you’re even more grosser than I thought of you before.” he replied, folding his arms into one another.

Spike pocketed the money and gave him a dirty look, “Fine, go dirty up some other park with your shitty ass ice cream.” He marched away, letting go of Rarity’s hand.

“H-hey wait up!” Spike kept walking, not slowing down in the slightest. “Spike, my ice cream.” she whined.

“Fuck the ice cream.” he shouted as he kept walking.

“Slow down, please!” she begged. He reluctantly did, just a bit for her to catch up, “What’s wrong?”

“The fact that he called me one, Scootaloo earlier called me one even if it was jokingly, and the people giving us weird stares.”

“Wait, called you ‘one’ what?”

“A pedo!” he shouted. Getting the attention of even more people around him at this quiet park. He facepalmed himself, so embarrassed and frustrated, tears started accumulating at his eyes. It then started raining, scattered drips falling here and there. “Great, I’m cold, I’m embarrassed, I’m tired, and I’m wet now! I just want this day to end, but it can’t, cause I need the money to stay alive.” he sniffled. Gasping a little feeling her tiny arms wrap around him, hugging him.

“I’m sorry, let’s go back to the library.” she mumbled into his shirt.

“S-shit kid, I don’t w-want you feeling bad.” he stammered, trying not to cry. ‘Why am I even crying? I’ve been called way worse! Fuck emotions…’

“It’s kinda hard not to feel bad with you crying, c’mon let’s go,” she replied, turning him around,

“I’m not crying, I’m just sweating really hard out of my eyes.”

They both entered the library soaking wet, Spike shutting the door behind him as Rarity took off his jacket.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier kid, I mean girlfrie-”

“Sush” she said, stopping him as she handed him back her coat. “I know we weren’t boyfriend-girlfriend, our age groups are too far apart, I was kinda only teasing you playfully about it, until it ended up hurting your feelings. I should be apologizing. Still you are kinda… cute. ” she whispered the last bit, trying to hide it.

Spike rubbed the back of his neck as he took the hood, “I still can’t get over I almost cried over something as dumb as that, age of a teenager with the emotional strength of a whiny five year old. It was just all the embarrassment and the stress and just…” he sneezed. “I swear if I got a cold from that walk…”

“I-I tried to give you back your jacket earlier!” she stuttered.

“Heheh, I actually kinda like being sick anyway, gives you an excuse to sleep more. But I’m just teasing you though, I ain’t sick. My teasing ain’t as malicious as yours.”

“Sorry, it started out true though. I do kinda like you.” she said, avoiding eye contact.

“Listen kiddo, maybe one day. But right now we’re about ten years apart from each other.”

She stuck out her hand, “Future boyfriend promise?”

“... What?” he asked.

“From what I see we’re still a couple, so you have to promise me to try and be my boyfriend again when I’m eighteen.”

“Like you’d even be interested at that point, and what if I’m already married or in a relationship?”

“Then the deal will be off, if you are however single at the time that I am once I’m eighteen or older, you must date me.”

“Now you’re just adding more to this equation.”

“Just shake my hand,” she said dully.

“Alright,” he replied, shaking her tiny little hand, “In the meantime, I want to end this relationship.”

“Oh no, was it something I said, am I getting too fat?” she said playfully.

“Nah girl, you too young and too cute for a turd like me.” he said sarcastically, making her giggle.

The two then ate a dinner of mini pizza and hawaiian punch in wine glasses, play games, color, the usual shits to keep kids entertained. “Can we please stop playing salon? I don’t like this game.” Spike moped

“Shush, keep brushing Thomas, I want to tell you more about how dreamy Chad is,” she replied, still in character.

He sighed, “Yes Mrs. Richington.” just then huge clap of thunder was heard, shutting their power off. Rarity yelped and clutched to Spike’s arm. “Something wrong Madam Richington?” he asked laughing.

“O-okay, we’re done playing Barbershop now.” she whimpered.

“Calm down kid, it’s just noise. It can’t do nothing… other than shut out out power, well it is kinda late so we should get to bed.”

“Aww, come on, it may turn back on here a sec,” she pouted.

“One… Okay that’s a second. It’s not back on, so let’s get you to bed. Guest bedroom is over there,” he pointed to the door beside the Tv.

“Spike.”

“Yes?”

“I can’t see where you’re pointing,” she said.

“Good point,” he said hoisting her up, “Then I’ll have to carry you there milady.”

“Thank you oh brave kni-” another clap of thunder, causing her to shriek again.

“My name isn’t AHHH, milady. But you may call me that if ye wish.” he laughed as he carried her over to the door. He reached for his phone once he got the door open, flashing a light into the bedroom, much cleaner than Spikes. “Okay kid, you need anything just holler.” he said as he shut the door.

He plopped down into his own bed, ‘Rocky start to the day, my opinion of that girl morphed like three times. Shy, dickish ‘girlfriend’, and then playful'. His thoughts were quickly gone as another strike of thunder coarsed the skies. He could hear Rarity shriek again from downstairs. ‘Punishment from the sneaky shit ya did today', he thought to himself. His eyelids grew gradually heavy, until he was asleep.

Awoken by a loud BOOM, Spike sprung to life, nearly falling out of bed. He checked the time, 2:37 am. He hopped up and proceeded downstairs to get a drink, he didn’t know just how thirsty he was. He was pleased to see the power came back on, quickly drinking his glass and shutting all the lights off. About the first step back upstairs he heard a door open, he stopped and looked at the guest bedroom, a very groggy half dead purple haired girl slowly stumbling out. “Can’t… sleep.” was all she said as she approached Spike.

Spike knew where this was going, he slowly hoisted her up into his arms and continued back upstairs. She opened the door for him as he walked in, placing her gently on the opposite side of the bed, he flopped down next to her, and turning in her direction. She then huddled closely against him, wrapping her arms lazily around him. Her breaths turning into little snores, as Spike began to fall asleep.

Spike awoke with the absence of a little girl clung to him, he quickly turned around to notice she wasn’t there. He checked his phone to see it was 8:47 am. He sloppily stood up and changed into some jeans he hadn't washed in over 2 months. Walking down the stairs, surprised to hear bacon sizzling, he quickly turned the corner to see Rarity preparing breakfast. “I didn’t even know I had bacon. Last time I checked that freezer all there was was half an eaten fudgie pop and what I’m hoping was a rotten banana” he moped as he made his way to the kitchen. “By the way thanks for making breakfast kid, I appreciate it.”

“Think of it as a sorry for the park thing, and this as a thanks for letting me sleep with you last night,” she said as she kissed his cheek, quickly hugging him. She rushed back over to put the bacon onto a plate beside 2 slices of toast and quickly brought it to him.

“Your dad should be here in a little while.” he said with a stretch, “You not gonna eat?”

“I ate two hours ago, you’re just lazy. I had time to go to the store to actually buy the bacon you’re eating right now, and the toast, and the butter. You have nothing in this house.”

“That’s what I was talking about yesterday with the babysitting thing, I have to do it to survive.” he said with stuffed cheeks.

“Keep your mouth shut when you got it full. Table manners!” she exclaimed. Just then there was a knocking, Rarity opened the door to see her father.

“Hey sweet pea!” he said as he hoisted her up. “And hello to you mister Spike.”

“Hello,” Spike side, wiping the bread crumbs off his mouth. “How was your night Mr. Flanks?”

“Fantastic, we really connected and topped it off well.” Spike looked to Rarity giggling, all she could do was roll her eyes. “You ready honey?”

“Ready,” she announced, grabbing her bag.

“Alrighty then, see ya later Spike, thanks again for watching her, I know just where to go if I need a sitter again.”

“You can count on me,” he replied with a chuckle, winking at Rarity. He waved the two goodbye as they left, “Eheh… Let’s hope not.”

Author's Note

There were so many different things I wanted to do with this, but this is the one it turned into. To be honest, not too satisfied with it . I should be doing Rainbow Dash next unless I change my mind .