Login, Make a Friend, Stay Alive

by Michael Hudson

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Cranky Doodle Donkey, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Matilda
Length: 2534

Harmony Tracker is the new app that everyone has and loves... by law.

After an extensive beta with the happiest, most harmonious ponies in Equestria, Harmony Tracker is finally out! What does Harmony Tracker do? Why, it allows you to know just how much cheer, friendship, and joy you're spreading across Equestria! If you do enough, the government will even give you wonderful prizes! So, my little ponies, make sure to do all you can to raise those scores! The princesses will be watching.

Based on something happening right now, this is a link to the video that taught me the truth and inspired this story. A link will be provided at the end of chapter three as well.

Published 2015-12-17 00:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-17 00:00:02 UTC

Pinkie

Pinkie yawned as the first rays of the sun broke through her window. Beside her were energy drinks, caffeine pills, and chocolate, all to give her the caffeine to power through the night. Beside those was a parchment, borrowed from Twilight, and imbued with her magic. She would use it soon so that her two hour power nap would make it feel like eight. Though Twilight had warned her that energy was all it gave, and it stopped any sort of healing in the body for said energy, Pinkie didn’t mind. She only needed the energy.

She moved her mouse, clicking on the tab on her web browser that would bring her back to the Niponian chat site. She typed out a few quick messages apologizing for needing to go, but soon she would need to get to sleep, then work, and then her other friends, but that she would be on that night for sure. In response, she got friend requests from almost every pony in the chat. It made her heart swell, and she awkwardly typed back in their own language thanks for them being so accepting of her, and while they corrected her, it was with no hate or resentment. It only made Pinkie happier.

She accepted all of the friend requests of course, before switching tabs. She turned on some softer music to help her get ready for bed. She had one more to check on though, and clicked on the app: Harmony Tracker.

Immediately, Luna’s voice welcomed her to the program, and the new message of the day, to make sure to stay in touch with friends when you are sick, as their joy will bring you joy and health, rang through her ears. She grinned to herself. Any of the princesses could be chosen of course, and Pinkie adored Luna's softer tones ringing through her ears. While message was nice though, it was still not why she was on the app.

She closed out the message, and a few animated ponies came on screen around different graphs and charts that made up the main hub. The ponies were very simple, but adorable, with points for their hooves. The five there were the Elements of Harmony, but of course, and she waved to the one of herself in time with the regulated wave it always gave. A giggle escaped her as the tree of harmony began to grow in the middle. The thing she had been waiting for.

A score appeared in the tree’s roots, and as it rose, it got bigger and bigger. At one hundred, she just barely formed the roots. Pinkie had almost instantly blown past that score, and to the one hundred to three hundred range. There, you got to see a sapling tree approach, and Applejack would hold up a sign saying, Keep going! I know you can do better, while her own sprite held up, It’s beautiful, and has a bright future, just like you! She knew Twilight changed up the tiered messages, and they were set on random as is, but these were some of her favorites.

At three hundred to seven hundred, the tree bloomed from just a sapling, into a full grown tree. Two new symbols appeared on the tree at each hundred gained in that tier, starting with the elements, and ending with Celestia and Luna’s. Here, you got Rainbow saying, Wow! You’re almost as awesome as I am! and Fluttershy with a sign saying, I would love to have one as wonderful as you for tea someday. I’ll even make the sandwiches! Pinkie licked her lips at that, remembering when she was told that her and Fluttershy were the ones to plan the weekly Tree tier get togethers. Anyone at this rank was invited, and both provided the pony with a choice of loud and rambunctious, or soft and sweet, dependent on which pony’s party you went to. So far, they had been a major success.

Now she held her breath though. Breaking through seven hundred got the mystical box to show up. You would start getting on a mailing list from the princesses at this point, and get messages from them through the mail, and on here, and not just the daily ones, but ones reserved for this tier. They weren’t anything too extravagant, but Pinkie was collecting them as proof of her harmony and friendship achievements. Not only that though, but you would start getting a care package, and a quick pass onto trains and air balloons, so that you could spread your cheer with everypony else. Pinkie blinked and checked her own, sucking in her lips as she thought about the fact that she should get it replaced soon.

She watched as the score climbed higher. Now Rarity and Twilight smiled at her, their horns glowing and adding extra animations to the screen. Sparks, congratulations, all ignored as she watched the score raise, Twilight’s, I might just need to study YOU to learn more about friendship, and Rarity’s Your friendship is truly inspiring, and absolutely FABULOUS! were taken in only briefly as her heart hammered. With each fifty points, another key appeared onto the screen and inserted itself into the box. Pinkie had been stuck between nine hundred fifty and one thousand for almost a week now, and sweat came down her forehead as she watched.

Her friend request messages came up at the bottom right corner of the app, and she watched as each added another few points. 992….994….997...1001!

Pinkie jumped into the air with a holler, squealing in delight as she crashed back down, her whole body shaking, waiting. Celestia and Luna appeared on the screen and looked to her, before saying, not with signs or text, but actually saying, “We could not be prouder of you. An Equestrian as pure as us, harmony, friendship, and cheer have few they can rel-”

Pinkie’s heart felt like it stopped as the message stopped. She glanced down to her score and saw that it had dropped by five points. Her friend screen brought itself up, and showed her still almost a hundred points above anypony else. One line raised itself above the others though, and she saw who it was. Cranky had just finally slipped below a hundred points and sat at ninety three. His line was red now, and he had been branded as a component of chaos. Cadance and Twilight sat beside him while Sombra’s eyes loomed over his name. They said messages of disbelief, and sadness now.

Pinkie moved her mouse to him, and frowned. She had tried all month since the app’s mandate to be on every piece of electronic’s was enforced, and had tried helping Cranky make friends. He had slipped under the base two hundred easily, and she knew that his score was dragging hers down, even before now. To think that he had gone against harmony enough to lose his roots… She shut her eyes. Pinkie had known what she should do for her score for a while now, to make her the best friend maker in Equestria, and now even the app made sure she knew.

The cursor moved to his name and right clicked. The option to cut the line appeared in bold, with Twilight saying to her from the screen, “While it may hurt, sometimes you need to leave behind a bad influence so that you may help the greater whole.”

Pinkie nodded, and shut her eyes as she pressed down on the left mouse button. “I’m sorry Cranky.”

Almost immediately, her score jumped almost forty points, and she was brought back to the main screen. Celestia and Luna came back on screen, and their voices helped massage her pain, and caused her to smile. Her thoughts of Cranky almost entirely vanished though when the box began to glow. It raised itself into the air, and the whole screen became white.

On screen, was a castle creator now. It had to be a variant of either Canterlot Castle, Twilight’s, or the Crystal Castle, but it still swelled her heart to see what she now got to do, and that she could change it at any time. She was busily making Twilight’s castle have enough top branches so as to resemble a lollipop, when a new perk for the tier came up, describing how she could now get her passport almost instantly, her internet provider would be notified to make sure she never slowed down, and, most importantly to Pinkie, if she got five other friends to form the other Elements of Harmony in her town, her town would get a monthly day long visit by at least one, if not all of the princesses.

Pinkie squealed in delight, almost instantly getting a screenshot of the message, and going to Trotter. She typed furiously in her post, letting everyone know that she was the first in Equestria to break a thousand, and encouraging everypony else to work towards getting the princesses to their towns, just so you can befriend them too!

The second she hit post, her score went up by ten.

Rarity

Rarity fumed to herself, trying to keep calm, trying to work, trying to ignore the annoyance nagging at the side of her brain. She looked to the side, spotting her newly ruined cashmere sweater, and whispering, “Sweetie,” to herself. It wasn’t even the first time this week that the little troublemaker had done something to aggravate her. Add on top of that an order that was pushing her to the max, and she was tired.

Her horn glowed, picking up her phone and turning it to Facehoof. She started typing furiously, yelling about how annoying it was to have to feel like she had to babyproof her house for a tweenage filly, or how unreasonable ponies can be about their orders. She glanced back to the one she was making now, and grit her teeth. Thirty dresses, each with fifty gems in complex patterns in two weeks was simply criminal, and she mashed the send button.

Seeing the post come up, she grinned to herself, the satisfaction of letting it out flowing through her. Sweetie would probably get upset by the post, but it was about time she got to share in her annoyance with the week. Rarity still had to scowl though, as she didn’t even have time to enjoy this. She had to get back to work, or else she may not have time for the other orders she had from more local customers.

She was about to get up when her phone dinged, and she could see that Harmony Tracker had a new notification for her. It was probably someone making a positive post about her dresses or something, and it letting her know, so she did consider sending it away. She could use the pick me up though, and opened it.

On screen was her own Tree of Harmony, with one key in it. She was fairly proud of her seven hundred and fifty achievement, though by no means was she about to turn herself into the machine Pinkie was in order to get to a thousand anytime soon. She glanced to her seven hundred, sixty three score, before seeing her latest post appear above it. Immediately, her score dropped by a whole ten points, and a chill ran through Rarity’s body. Was my post really that mean?

She went back and looked over it, a pit of shame coming into her stomach as she saw no likes or comments yet on it, and could tell now how mean it was. She bit into her lip and moved her hoof to the nuke option, before pressing down. Another notification from Harmony Tracker came up, and Rarity smiled as she saw her recover three of her lost points.

She shook her head, before breathing in. “Come on Rarity. You didn’t get this high by just sitting around and moaning. Thirty dresses is…” she laid her head back and sighed. “It’s hard, but I can do it, just like I always have. The same goes for Sweetie, the lovable little rascal.”

A smile spread over her face at the more positive thoughts, and looked back to the app. She breathed in, staring at the number, and flipped off of her bed. She would keep the number in her mind as she worked hard to make those dresses as best she could, and attempted to teach Sweetie how to cook a souffle. Even when her high pitched screech popped it, she kept her annoyance inside, not wanting to see that score drop again.

Cranky

Matilda hummed to herself as she carried her groceries to the front door. She had stepped out for a few hours to do the grocery shopping, leaving Cranky to do as he wanted, though she had suggested he get onto the computer and try some of the new chat sites everyone’s been using. Get his roots to grow back, especially since it had been almost a week since he had dipped below a hundred points. She knew he could do it though.

Looking to her door, she felt her heart skip a beat. A piece of parchment had been left, and she now began reading it, expecting the worst. The handwriting was really fancy, and the language even more so. Fortunately, her years with Rarity and travelling the world had expanded her language enough to get the gist of it.

Cranky had accepted an invitation to Canterlot where he would spend two weeks under the tutelage of the princesses, before returning to Ponyville. All done in a hope that he would be able to make friends then, and live a happy, fulfilling life.

Matilda felt a little uneasy about the formality of the document, but there was no way for her to be certain, and if this had to do with his score, she couldn’t even entirely blame them for having acted upon it. Cranky had gotten so many ponies to come and try to get him to make more friends, or more positive posts, but nothing they said could have made him budge.

Matilda breathed in, a smile splitting over her face. “If anyone is going to make my sourpuss be willing to come to bridge with me at the end of the month, I guess I should have known it would need to be the princesses.” A small chuckle escaped her lips as she came into the house and began unloading the groceries, willing to wait, and trust in harmony.

Two weeks later, Cranky did indeed come back, and it was easier to make him smile. He also agreed to come to her bridge club, or spend time online talking to strangers just so they wouldn’t be so strange to him anymore. In fact, if Matilda had really paid attention, she may have noticed he didn’t really say no to much of anything.

But hey, at least his score kept going up. That’s all that matters, right?

Author's Note

As promised, the video, showing why I claim this to be a real world thing going on, not just fictional.