Thanatosian Love

by Syeekoh

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Equestria Girls, Tragedy, Sunset Shimmer, Midnight Sparkle, Dark
Length: 1005

The demon expelled from Sunset reflects on what it could never have again.

The spirit possessing Twilight knows Sunset Shimmer very well.

It knows what she could have been and reflects in pain on things that never came to pass.

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Published 2016-01-02 18:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-02 18:50:02 UTC

Deathly Desire

Sunset Shimmer.

You look resplendent before me, with your horn of white and your wings of powdered gold.

I cannot communicate this to you in my prison of addled flesh, but I have been waiting for this moment.

Ever since that day, moons ago, when the rainbow of harmony split us in twain and my very being ached as you surrendered yourself to mortals when I promised you the world. I became your shadow, both physical and metaphorical, as I viewed how the entire school shunned you. I am sure you heard my whisperings to betray your ostensible friends so that we may once again be joined in communion.

I slowly cultivated a sense of resentment as you shared your misgivings, anticipating your eventual rejection. Your flesh-mates, however, redoubled their efforts to make you feel accepted. I would have to fortify my own efforts for your acknowledgement.

That opportunity approached me when those extradimensional hell-beasts arrived. I parted ways with you, the days seeming like centuries as I fed myself on their siren song. I twisted their desire to go home into one more akin to yours, to remind you of what you once were in the hopes you would realize what you had lost and would let us become one once again.

But my dream remained a fancy when you failed to notice my presence within them and full out assaulted them with prismatic fury. I was forced to shatter their gemstones they inhabited to preserve my identity from that accursed rainbow, not caring that I rended those monsters’ souls. Licking my wounds, I returned, dejected by your apparent inability to acknowledge me.

I became your shadow once again and my existence cried out for your warmth as you ingratiated yourself to those bags of meat. To become you once again was my greatest desire. But through your inaction you had granted me no quarter. Strings of barbs scored through me at your ignorance of my plight. In my silent torture the musical irony of us being divided by harmony slowly became apparent. That, somehow, the very nature of who we were had ultimately been altered to incompatibility.

And I wept.

Soundless wails and wordless tears filled my moments at what I had lost. Your constant engagement of friendships taunted me mercilessly as all I could do was watch by the shadow I was, you operating as my scourge as you flaunted your happiness while all I could do was wallow in my misery.

It was not just! It was not right! I deserved to be fulfilled! I would bring the world to its knees for one more moment with you. One more moment in you would be worth the end of the world.

Fate spat in my face once again when I was transferred into a world with all of my adversaries―Honesty, Kindness, Loyalty, Generosity, and Laughter. What followed was pure agony.

Laughter attempted to impress its joy upon me, which I spurned. I had no need for its services.

Loyalty promised to be my friend. I laughed in its face. I had no need for friends.

Kindness offered a shoulder to cry on, but I was out of tears. I had only one loyalty now.

Generosity proffered a helping hand. I was beyond help. My existence had not been kind to me.

After rejecting all of their advances, Honesty asked me what I wanted. I complied generously.

I wanted to be Sunset Shimmer once again.

The raucous laughter tore through me like a thousand arrows as they cruelly informed me that I would never be her, that I had no hope of ever residing within her. They regaled me of deeds I had indirectly influenced, that she was far beyond my influence precisely because I had tried to influence her.

I wept and seethed at the confirmation of my darkest fears that I could never be her. With my reason for existing routed from me, there was only one option left to ease my pain. If I could not have Sunset Shimmer, no one could.

It was armed with this knowledge that I possessed the Twilight Sparkle and tore reality asunder, sharing my madness with her brain. It was fueled by this desperation that I became the thanatosian impulse that you once again stepped up to conquer.

Looking at you now, with your ivory horn and your solar wings, it is apparent to me now that we could never be together. That I could never take my place inside you. In my wanton desire to conjoin with you I had pushed aside the signs and signals that you had transformed into my antithesis. I put you on a pedestal above the unwashed masses. You placed yourself below them, a friend to all.

It is with a heavy heart that I sentence your execution for the capital crime of spurning me. It is with a hole inside me that I condemn existence to death for the offense of warping you into what you are today, a being that cannot accept me into your heart.

Gaze upon me and despair, Sunset Shimmer. You birthed me. Through neglect, you have nurtured me. And through the scorning of what you hold dear, I have self-actualized. There is a certain irony that only through rejecting you I have achieved my full potential as the reaper of reality while you by rejecting me have become all I oppose.

I am the monster you could never be, I am the sadness you could never see. I am the pain which you never felt, I am the torture which you were never dealt.

Looking at you now, with your silvery horn and your astral wings, a part of me wishes that it did not have to turn out this way, that we could be together once again. Yet the majority of me knows that this will not come to pass.

And for me to know peace, you must perish. Even if it involves the destruction of everything.