Six to Eight Weeks Unnecessary

by Level Dasher

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Discord, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 2358

Sometimes a dungeon sentence isn't necessary... when a little chaos can do the trick.

After being sentenced to six to eight weeks in Princess Twilight's dungeon for attempting to evict Fluttershy under ridiculous circumstances, Sugar Berry readies herself for her time in custody. But will her sentence be cut short?

A sequel to Six to Eight Weeks Dungeon for Ocalhoun's Big 250K Contest.

Punchline spoilers in the comments!

Self-edited, so hopefully there's nothing glaring.
Cover art is from a Google Image search.

Published 2016-03-12 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-12 00:30:01 UTC

Barely Six to Eight Hours

“Well, thank goodness that was all sorted out. I never thought I’d see the day I would be glad that Rainbow Dash held some kind of legal authority,” Discord said with a huff.

“Oh, I feel so bad, though. I mean, Miss Sugar Berry was only doing her job,” Fluttershy replied.

“But she was ready to evict you! Evict us! Would you prefer letting somepony who clearly has no sense of compassion do her job, or lose all of your animal friends to that… that monster? And that’s saying something, coming from me,” Discord responded.

“I guess you’re right,” Fluttershy said with a sigh. “Now I don’t need to worry about my friends losing their home.” She smiled, looking around at the rabbits, birds, squirrels, and other critters who had gathered around her, all returning her smile. “Oh, I would have been so worried about all of you.”

Discord hovered above her shoulder. “And what am I, chopped liver?”

Fluttershy crossed her forelegs and turned to the pouting draconequus. “You still have another house.”

Discord let out another huff. “Do you have any idea how lonely that place is? Besides, the last time I stayed there for too long, I missed my invitation to the gala! Actually, now that I think about it, I need to have a few words with that mailpony…”

“You will do no such thing. Just be glad that Twilight and Rainbow Dash worked everything out. Oh, I can’t believe she actually put that poor mare in a dungeon! Twilight only uses force when it’s absolutely necessary.” Fluttershy looked out the window at the setting sun. “Oh my, look at that, it’s almost dinner time! I need to get food ready for everyone.”

“That sounds splendid! If it’s alright with you, I’m going to go give Twilight our thanks and tell her we forgive Sugar Berry for trying to evict us,” Discord said, a halo appearing above his head.

“That sounds like a good idea. Thank you, Discord. Maybe some forgiveness will change her mind and Twilight can let Miss Sugar Berry go before the six to eight weeks are over. Then again, Twilight did call it a friendship dungeon. I can’t imagine it would be that bad. Either way, I’m sure she’ll be well cared for.”

“Yes, I’m sure she will be…” Discord answered, before he flashed out of the room.

~~~~~

“Well, that was fast,” Twilight said, smiling at Discord as he appeared in the castle’s main corridor. “I assume you’re prepared with a suitable repertoire?”

Discord grinned. “Oh, believe me, I have only the best in store for that monotonous shell of a pony.”

“Watch it,” Twilight warned. “I’m only keeping Sugar Berry in custody because she was going to evict Fluttershy, and I won’t let that stand. She’s being well cared for—that particular dungeon even has some amenities down there, and I’ve only used it once with a few of the girls. That was a long night…” Twilight shook herself out of her reverie and continued, “I’ve given her some time to settle and make herself feel comfortable. I’m only giving you this opportunity because I’m so infuriated with her.” Twilight shook a hoof in the air.

“Believe me, Twilight, you’re not alone in that,” Discord responded, putting his paw and claw on his hips.

“As is our right!” Twilight said. She let out a breath, then continued, “Now, you have to make it look like you snuck in there without my knowledge, got it? Anything in that room is fair game, but there’s not much there. Now, whatever you do, in case it crossed your mind, make sure you turn her back to normal before you leave. If we’re lucky, we can make her think it was all just a bad dream.”

“Hmm… I think I can work with that,” Discord replied with a smirk. “Should we call Luna for assistance? Dreams are her specialty, after all.”

“No, I don’t think she or Celestia would approve of this…” Twilight answered with a forced chuckle.

“Very well, you’re the boss,” Discord said. Turning to Twilight with a surprisingly genuine smile, he added, “I apologize if this sounds sarcastic, Twilight, but I do sincerely thank you for letting me do this.” His eyes narrowed. “That mare certainly has it coming to her.”

Twilight smiled. “You’re welcome, Discord. To be honest, I think this is the first time we’ve worked together with sincere intentions outside of a worldwide catastrophe.” She raised her brows at him. “Looks like we’re making progress!”

“Well, look at that! I believe you’re right! Good for us!” Discord’s smile then split into a manic grin. “So, what’s say we scare some compassion into that cold-hearted mare with some pure chaos?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but go right ahead,” Twilight answered with a sly smirk.

~~~~~

Sugar Berry splashed water on her face and wiped herself off. “My, for a dungeon, I feel like I’m staying in a five-star hotel.” From the fully stocked bathroom to the king-sized, fluffy bed, and the remainder of a four-course dinner sitting on the counter, the only complaint she could think of was that she was unable to do her job. That, and the iron bars on the door outside the room. “I guess those new laws will go into effect soon enough, and my jurisdiction will be further limited. Oh well. If I’m to be trapped here for six to eight weeks, I may as well occupy myself.”

Settling herself on the bed, she looked around the room, noting two large trunks labeled ‘TOYS’ and ‘GAMES.’ She cocked a brow, wondering why in Equestria there would be such boxes in a dungeon room. Her eyes suddenly widened when she recalled something Princess Twilight had said: It’s a friendship dungeon. Sugar Berry’s mouth went agape as she speculated the boxes’ contents, then she gasped and leapt from the bed, imagining what kind of activity had possibly taken place on it.

“What’s your problem?”

Sugar Berry shrieked as the pillows on the bed moved in very much the same fashion that a pair of eyes would, and the mattress and bedspread moved like a mouth.

“You got an issue with what goes on down here? I like what I do. It makes the bonds of friendship stronger.”

“I do not partake in those kinds of activities that way! To be done in this fashion is simply… wrong!” Sugar Berry screamed.

“What makes you say that? Even the Princess is entitled to some indulgences every now and then. You haven’t even looked in the boxes to see all the fun that’s in store!” the bed responded.

“I have no interest in looking at what the Princess enjoys in her free time, even if it is unbecoming,” Sugar Berry replied.

“What makes you say it’s unbecoming? Everypony does it at least once in their lives… so I would hope. Their loss if they don’t,” the bed answered.

“Perhaps,” Sugar Berry said, “but I find the need to do so in a dungeon rather obscene.”

“It’s just part of the illusion,” the bed replied, “but it is practical when the Princess doesn’t want her ‘prisoners’ escaping. You’ll be chatting with me when the Princess isn’t here herself.”

Sugar Berry’s muzzle twisted into a horrific frown as her eyes widened. “You mean… you’ll be… talking to me for six to eight weeks?”

The mattress widened into some semblance of a smile. “You got it. I’m mostly here as a seat, though, so there are some one-player toys and games in those boxes, too.”

Sugar Berry took in a deep breath, rushed to the door and began pounding on it. “PRINCESS! PRINCESS SPARKLE!”

In a matter of moments, Twilight teleported to the dungeon’s entrance. “Yes, miss Sugar Berry? Is something the matter?”

“There most certainly is! The bed is appalling!”

“Seriously?” Twilight replied. “Considering you’re in a dungeon, I thought you’d be relieved…” When she caught a glance at one of the bed’s pillows winking at her, her muzzle formed an ‘O.’ Taking the opportunity, she continued, “In fact, this is one of my better beds.”

“No, please! I don’t want it telling me stories of what’s happened in here for six to eight weeks! If you must imprison me, put me elsewhere!”

Twilight hesitated for just a moment before she shook her head. “Sorry, miss Sugar Berry, this is the only dungeon available. You’ll either have to stay in here, or—”

“I will reinstate the new laws and leave your friend’s property alone for the duration of the waiting period! Just please, let me out of here!” Sugar Berry screamed.

Twilight smiled. “Do you promise to leave Fluttershy alone from now on? No strings attached?”

“I promise! Just please, let me out!”

Twilight nodded. “Alright then. But remember, if Fluttershy has any trouble with the Ponyville Code Enforcement within the next two months, I’ll know the cause. You could be right back down here in a flash. Do you understand?” Sugar Berry nodded her head vigorously. “Good. I’m sending you to my castle’s entrance. You can make your way home from there. Have a good day.” Twilight lit her horn and teleported Sugar Berry to the entrance, then let out a content sigh. Smiling at the bed, she said, “Good job. You work pretty quickly.”

With a flash, the bed made itself, and Discord appeared next to her, bowing. “Why, thank you. I do take pride in my shenanigans,” he replied.

“So I’ve seen. What exactly did you tell her that would horrify her so badly? I told you I’ve only used this room once. What kind of stories did you make up?” Twilight asked.

“Actually, none,” Discord answered. “I just made a few… suggestions. Miss Sugar Berry clearly isn’t the intimate type. I must admit, Twilight, I wouldn’t have thought you would use a room like this.”

Twilight cocked a brow. “…Discord, what exactly do you think I use this room for?”

Discord laughed, “Oh puh-lease, Twilight! A ‘Friendship’ dungeon? With ‘toys’ and ‘games’? Anyone could see through this ruse!” Hovering at her eye level, Discord continued, “That mare is going to have quite a piece of blackmail on you, you know. You say you’ve only used this room once? I must admit, you clean up quite nicely for having an or—”

Twilight shoved a hoof in Discord’s mouth and cut him off. Her narrowed eyes stared straight into his very soul as she started, “Discord…” She pointed her other hoof at the ‘GAMES’ box. “…open that trunk.”

Discord’s brows furrowed for a moment as he flashed himself to the box and opened the lid. Slowly closing it again, he turned around as his eyes dilated. “You might want to bring her back here…”

Twilight groaned as she put a hoof to her forehead. Powering up her horn, she focused on Sugar Berry and teleported her back into the dungeon room.

“AH!” Sugar Berry screamed when she noticed her new surroundings. “What am I doing back here?” Spotting Discord, she hollered, “And what is that thing doing—” Twilight lit her horn and magically clamped Sugar Berry’s muzzle closed.

“You’re only going to be here for a moment. I just need to clarify a few things. I’m going to let go of your muzzle, and I need you to stay quiet. Understand?” Twilight finished. The mare nodded her head, her eyes wide. Twilight let down her aura and walked up to the ‘GAMES’ box, motioning for the frightened mare to follow. As Sugar Berry came up beside her, Twilight said, “Open the box.”

Her hoof wavering, the mare slowly opened the lid, not wanting to see its contents. However, her hoof steadied and she let out a relieved breath when she looked inside. Closing the trunk, Sugar Berry’s pupils dilated as she said, “But… the bed…”

Twilight carefully turned the mare’s head to the room’s entrance, where Discord stood waving, and pointed at him. “Spirit of Chaos,” she answered flatly. “With a sick sense of humor,” she added.

“I'm not the only one…” Discord muttered under his breath.

“I… found him here,” Twilight finished.

“I am not an animal,” Discord said as he appeared directly in front of them, causing Sugar Berry to stagger backward, “but you could be a sheep if I wanted.”

“NOT necessary,” Twilight said, putting up a hoof. Turning to Sugar Berry, she asked, “Is it?” The frightened mare shook her head rapidly. “Good. Then are we clear?” Twilight asked. Pointing first to the room, then herself, then Discord, she said in turn, “Not a sex dungeon, not a sex fiend, not an animal.”

Discord snapped his claw and pointed at a framed picture of Fluttershy in his paw, adding, “And not to be evicted!”

“Right,” Twilight said. “Thank you, Discord.”

“You’re welcome, Princess,” Discord answered with a grin.

“Understand all that clearly enough, miss Sugar Berry?” Twilight asked the mare with a cocked brow.

“P-perfectly, Princess!”

“Good. Now you may go,” she said, teleporting Sugar Berry out once again. Then she let out a sigh. “I can’t believe I had to clarify that. What kind of pony do you think I am?” she asked, glaring at Discord.

“I have a better question,” Discord said, snapping his claw as a box appeared and hovered next to him. “What in Equestria is this doing in there? You realize this ruins friendships, don’t you? Fluttershy would wince just looking at the box!”

Twilight cocked her brow once again. “Some of the girls and I happen to like Settlers of Patan.”

Author's Note

I don't usually participate in these writing contests (this is my first one, in fact), but I thought I would give this one a shot. I loved the idea of the original story, and given the different fanon personalities Twilight's been given, I wondered what kinds of options and misunderstandings could arise from its final line, so this is the product.

The story is self-edited, and was written somewhat quickly, so I apologize if it's a little raw. I hope it was enjoyable enough.