Group Precipitation

by FanOfMostEverything

Rating: teen
Tags: Equestria Girls, Main 7 (EqG), Anthology, Sunset Shimmer, Alternate Universe, Other
Length: 213810

Stories set in the Oversaturated World, some silly, some less so.

Even in a world that just amended the laws of physics, not everything is going to be some grand world-shaking adventure. Sometimes, it's going to be silly, or at least short. These are those stories.

Canonicity is dubious at best.

Want to see your ideas here? Put them in the fiction thread in the group!

Image courtesy of Masterweaver.

Published 2016-04-01 18:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-05-26 19:27:10 UTC

Yet Another Revolution, by Tophe

"Show some respect fer yer elders, Jackie, Ah ain't deaf!" barked Granny. "Ah understand that Shimmer girl turned inta a sun goddess and changed the world bah magic."

"Uh, good. You just seem weirdly... chill about all this."

Granny smiled. "Ye say tha world's changed forever. Ah've heard that before. They said it when Fence Gates invented tha Internet. They said it when they split tha atom. An' by gum, they'll say it again someday!"

"Ah don't think this is entirely comparable."

"They said that before too. Now, since y'all can lift fifty stone onehanded, there's some chores need doin'..."

New Age Diplomacy, by Masterweaver

The president looked over the new diplomatic envoy. Even with the feathers down his neck, he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.

""

Sea Swirl cleared her throat. "The honorable Screamseeker understands your surprise, but wishes you to know that his service octopi can only last so long even within a magically propelled spout of seawater and would like your response before he has to return to his pod."

That managed to shake the president out of his shock. "Ah. Yes. Well." He cleared his throat. "I will have to consult with my advisors, but I suspect that they will agree quite readily to an alliance with the..." He gave Sea Swirl a look. "Green-kelp pod?"

"Greensea, sir. Green-Kelp is... a rival pod."

"Ah. My mistake."

Sea Swirl nodded, turning to the twisting column of water. ""

"" With a clap of its forefins, the dolphin leaned out of the water and planted a toothy kiss on the president's forehead, then on Seaswirl's, before turning around and directing it back into the greater sea.

The president turned to the young girl.

"...Dolphins."

"Dolphins."

Passing Time, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Twilight sighed longingly, her head resting on the Cutie Map. Odds were that she couldn't sway the mysterious artifact through the same passive-aggressive tactics that always worked on Shining Armor, but it was worth a try. After all, it wasn't like she had anything better to do, even while some ponies were allowed to go to Manehattan.

"You did have two missions, you know," Spike said as he entered the throne room.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "The second one hardly counts. I don't even know why I was supposed to go with Sunset to the Tree of—" She gasped, cried "Sunset!" and dashed out of the room.

Spike hurried to keep up. "What about her?"

"Well, I may not have anything to do in this world, but I'm sure my friends in the human world wouldn't mind a surprise visit."

"Surprise?" Spike scowled as he finally caught up to Twilight, who was activating the portal. "You can't expect them to drop everything just because you're bored."

"Of course not." Twilight pranced in place as she waited for the override device to warm up. "If class is in session, I'll just wait in the library or something. I've barely even looked at their history."

The portal opened with a flash, displaying a pattern on the rippling spacetime membrane. "Huh," said Spike. "That's new." Five symbols lay in a pentagon, each in a slashed-circle "no" symbol. One was a silhouette of Discord's head, but the other four were cutie marks. "So, no Cadence, no Celestia, no Luna, and..." Spike hissed through his teeth. "Oh."

Twilight felt herself fall back on her haunches. "Well. Great. Wonderful! More than one universe doesn't want me to do anything!"

The symbols shifted and formed a familiar face. "Nothing personal, Twilight," said Sunset Shimmer. "It's just not safe to have an alicorn over here quite yet, and one Discord is frankly more than enough. If it's any consolation, we're in the middle of summer vacation. I'll see if the girls want to visit Equestria." With that, the portal pulsed with energy, shutting down the override device.

"Well, that should be fun, right, Twilight?" After a moment, Spike looked at up at the mare. "Uh, Twilight?"

"What am I going to do until then!?"

(Masterweaver)

"Why, SCIENCE!"

Spike jumped as Discord dropped in out of nowhere, begarbed in a labcoat. "What?!"

"Science?" Twilight tilted her head.

"SCIENCE!" proclaimed Discord, juggling multicolored test tubes.

Spike rose an eyeridge. "Science."

"Science...." Twilight mused.

"Science," Discord suggested.

"Science...?"

"Science!"

Spike backed away, cautiously. "Science?!"

"SCIENCE!" Twilight cried with a wide grin.

"SCIENCE!" echoed Discord.

(FoME)

Twilight blinked and looked up from her book. "Okay, that's weird."

"What is?" asked Sunset, sitting next to her under the same tree in the town park.

"It's this weird tugging sensation, like someone's pulling on my hair or something, except the pull's coming from a direction I can't place."

"Huh. Hang on." Sunset blurred, becoming a vague, roughly humanoid region of orange energy for a moment before resuming her usual shape. "Okay, bad news is that someone is trying to summon you. Good news, they didn't mean to, and they're not putting enough into it to actually make it work."

Twilight frowned at her. "I thought you were trying to tone down the whole 'omniscient observer' thing and stay on the level of us mere mortals."

Sunset smirked. "Look, Ditzy Doo was bad enough. I don't want you of all people falling out of the universe."

"Thanks," Twilight said with a little smile. She tilted her head. "Though I have to ask, how are people accidentally summoning me?"

"Well, one of them is the you of that world, which helps, and they're..." Sunset trailed off, looking away from Twilight.

"Yes?"

"They're, uh, chanting..." Sunset said the last word so softly, Twilight barely heard her say "science."

"Science?"

"Science."

"... Science."

Sunset grimaced. "We should probably stop. Summoning yourself rarely ends well."

Proper Notation, by Tophe

Shortly after interfacing an enchanted hoofmirror, a transdimensional relay, and a Linux smartphone...

"Look, you can't sign yourself Twilight Sparkle in Equestria. That's my name."

"It's mine too."

"I had it first."

"I don't have any other names I can use. You change, you can be HRH The Princess of Friendship."

"Absolutely not. I already had that argument with Luna once."

"Well, what's your idea?"

"We won't be the only ones dealing with this. Almost everybody has a duplicate, we need to establish a general convention."

"Oh, I see. So you can be Twilight-E, for Equestria, and I can be - no, Earth starts with an E as well."

"What's Earth?"

Dark Desires, by Masterweaver [Sex]

Author's Note

In the words of the author:

BE FOREWARNED THE FOLLOWING INVOLVES PROFANITY, FRANK DISCUSSIONS OF SEX, AND ADULT BISEXUAL WOMEN! YOU ARE FOREWARNED!

Dark Desires, by Masterweaver [Sex]

"...You are out of your flipping mind."

"Lulu, the fact that you said 'flipping' instead of 'fucking' just further proves my point."

Luna sighed, rubbing the crystal that had recently appeared on her forehead. "Chrysalis," she growled, "I am not. Going to make some sort of dreamworld brothel."

Across from her, stretching out her now longer legs, an ebony-skinned woman steepled her fingers with a smirk. "Whenever something new comes into existence, it's only a matter of time before somebody starts thinking about how to use it for sex. Just over this last week I've had a hundred new bedroom spells given to me by my children to look over. And some of them were quite exotic."

"Putting aside your cult's unnervingly... intimate nature," the blue woman said with a small shudder, "and the inevitable experimentation that, yes, I accept is going to happen... I don't see the point behind your proposal."

"Well, there are multiple points. Firstly, you can do in dreams what would be impossible in reality, even with magic. Secondly, dreams are private, for the most part, to a degree that reality is again unable to satisfy--"

"That might give legitimacy to people adjusting their own dreams--"

"--but the biggest point, I think, is curiosity." Chrysalis rolled her shoulders (and Luna managed to keep her blush down to a faint red line out of sheer willpower). "Let's be honest, almost nobody wants to admit to going into a sex shop, but almost everybody wants to poke their head in at some point. What I'm proposing isn't just a brothel, but a way to provide answers to questions that people would be too embarrassed to ask when they were awake."

Luna narrowed her eyes. "You were saying you'd have members of your church ready for private services."

"Only for paying customers," Chrysalis countered with an airy wave. "The main lobby wouldn't have any activity, just some informational pamphlets and, well." She leaned forward, resting her chin on her clasped hands (and oh, was that a low-cut dress she wore--Luna forced her eyes to snap back up). "Obviously, I would be there, to handle questions and generally be a secretary."

"That still sounds like a way to recruit innocent young members into your religion--"

"Harmonists have been running soup kitchens for ages, Lulu. The Wholesome would just offer something similar. And besides," she added as she flipped her long, silken hair (she always did that, and it frustrated the poor vice principal because she knew Chrysalis knew that she got flustered when she did), "If I didn't do it, somebody eventually would. At least this way you have some idea of the areas you want to avoid, instead of stumbling on some up and coming house of commons that don't even care for their servants and treat them like TRASH--!"

"Chrysy!"

The ebony woman blinked at Luna's sudden shout, taking notice of how she had suddenly stood, and followed her gaze to her own hands. "OH! Oh, sorry, I just--!" She quickly extinguished the green flames from around her hands. "Yeah, that's... that's been happening since the whole, uh, thing. Kind of freaked me out the first time, I burned right through the dress I was wearing before I realized it was me..."

Luna took a breath and slowly sat down again. "...Don't. Ever. Scare me like that again."

For a moment, just the briefest of moments, Chrysalis had a look of genuine shock and appreciation on her face. And then, once again, the mask of a sly and conniving flirt smirked at her. "Awww, you still care about me? That's sweet, Lulu. You know I'd be willing to pick up where we left off--"

"Regarding your proposition," Luna interjected firmly, "I can see that you have clearly put quite a bit of thought into this. However, I cannot in good conscience agree to it without some time to review the concept in its entirety. Furthermore, I will have to insist you draft up a written proposition and put it through the proper channels--"

"But Lulu--"

"SO THAT," she continued firmly, "in the event of further dreamworld based businesses, there will be a legal precedent from which their operation can be extrapolated."

After a moment, Chrysalis nodded. "I can agree to that."

"Good. Now... I have a school to run. I would be quite happy if you left me to it."

The ebony woman opened her mouth... and shut it, standing up. She walked to the door.

And stopped.

"...Luna... Even if you don't approve of my lifestyle... even though my choices hurt you... you know that I still care about you, right?"

Luna sighed. "Just... there's too much going on for me to handle this on top of everything, Chrysy. I need space right now."

"...so the moonbutt," Chrysalis said contemplatively, "needs some space."

"Oh get the fuck out."

Inevitable, by Masterweaver [Minor Gore]

"Two months," Sunset groused. "It's only been two months, and there's a zombie outbreak."

Twilight coughed. "I don't think it can be considered an 'outbreak.' Lab accident, maybe. And they're contained, and... well, it's lab rats, Sunset." She paused. "Unless some of them escaped--?"

"No, we're lucky the scientists were smart enough to lock the cages." She gestured at the online video of a partially dissected rat skittering around its enclosure. "I just... There isn't such a thing as zombie ponies in Equestria."

"Why not?"

Sunset opened her mouth... and paused. "...You know, I don't actually know. Hold on." She pulled out the magical world-connecting journal and quickly wrote something down in it. "Let's hope we get an answer soon though. Honestly. Zombies."

"Lab rats, Sunset."

"ZOMBIES!"

"...I think they're ghouls, technically." Twilight looked over her shoulder at the video of the rat trying to tug its own entrails free of the hamster wheel. "They still retain some some self-control."

"...what, there are classes of undead now?"

"Trust me, when your brother plays as many fantasy games as mine did growing up, you learn these things."

Once More with Feeling, by FoME

Weeks before Sunset would have a reason to research Oubliettes & Ogres sourcebooks, she got a phone call while at home. "Hey, AJ. What's up?"

"Ah don't wanna worry ya none, Sunset, but we may have a problem." Applejack tried to sound casual, but the underlying tension in her voice was clear.

Sunset got off her couch. "A magical one?" She grabbed her jacket off of the worn arm of the sofa.

"There any other kind these days?" Sunset could hear Applejack's smirk before the other girl got back to business. "See, jus' now, there was this big song an' dance number across the street. An' Ah mean an actual song an' dance number. Flips an' spins an' backup dancers, th' whole nine yards. Part o' me wanted t' join in."

The tension melted out of Sunset. She plopped back down. "Oh, is that all? Heartsongs are a well-documented aspect of harmony magic. You even participated in one a while back."

"Ah did?"

"Remember that flash mob thing you did in the school cafeteria to get everyone to support Princess Twilight? After..." Sunset sighed as her head dipped down. "After my smear video?"

"Yer a long way from that girl, Sunset." Applejack's tone turned thoughtful. "Still, never thought much about that. Shoot, how long've people been doin' that kinda thing?"

"I can't say for certain, but it's a perfectly natural part of magic as I understand it."

"Includin' songs about gettin' out mustard stains?"

Sunset blinked. "Huh?"

"Ah'm across th' street from a laundromat. This still normal?" Applejack's voice took on an uneasy edge. "If mah whole life's been an opera, Ah wanna know about it."

"Oh. I see. That is a bit much." After a little contemplation, Sunset said, "It's probably the world recalibrating itself as it adjusts to higher magic levels."

Applejack still sounded nervous. "We ain't singin' right now, are we?"

Sunset smiled. "No, Applejack, we're not singing. I'll try to tell you if we are."

"Alrighty then."

Steaming Ahead, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Celestia had seen a great deal while on the throne, but nothing quite like Twilight Sparkle’s human counterpart. Though they were in Princess Twilight’s castle, the girl retained her usual form, though Celestia understood that the ears and forehead crystal were recent additions. Celestia couldn’t help but compare the girl to a minotaur, though the proportions were as off as the feet. “I must confess,” said the princess, “I wasn’t expecting to meet you quite like this.”

“Nor was I,” said the human Twilight as she filled a silvery container with water. Wires connected it to a bizarre assembly of crystals and circuitry. Twilight fiddled with switches and dials as she continued. “On the one hand, well, I still have hands. On the other, I was looking forward to getting some experience as another species.” She faced Celestia, apparently satisfied with her gadgetry for now. “But that’s not why we’re here.”

Celestia nodded. “Indeed it is not. You and Princess Twilight have been very enthusiastic about trade between our two worlds, but I fear that both sides may receive innovations that they aren’t ready to use wisely. This is an exciting time, yes, but we must not let eagerness overtake prudence. Perhaps—” She was interrupted by a mechanical pop. “What was that?”

Twilight smiled and lifted the now steaming container from its base. “This, Princess Celestia, is an electric kettle.”

(Masterweaver)

Two weeks later, both Twilights looked at the smoldering remains of Canterlot palace's west wing.

"...Okay, so I know about electrical fires."

"Mmmhmm."

"And I can accept that magic can amplify fire."

"Yep."

"And, yes, it kind of makes sense that one of the cooks could overclock an electric kettle."

"It does."

"...But an entire wing of a marble palace?! AN ENTIRE WING?!"

"You're looking at it."

"I just... How?! HOW?!" Twilight stretched her hands wide. "It should have been contained to the kitchens, at most!"

"It should have," Twilight agreed.

"And, horrific as it sounds, you should have less property damage and more injured ponies! Maybe even a few dead ones!"

"I'm glad nopony died," the alicorn said, a hint of reproach in her voice.

"Me too, don't get me wrong, it's just... HOW?! The kitchens are in the east wing for crying out loud!"

One of Those Days, by FoME

Lunch at Canterlot High hadn’t changed much since magic first started leaking into the world. Though the school had been unified for months, the clique tables were slow to dissolve, held together by force of habit. Still, the cafeteria had a much lighter, livelier air than before the Fall Formal. The addition of novelties like winged students eating together near the ceiling, trays in their laps, only added to that.

However, some moods didn’t match the ambiance. Twilight Sparkle frowned, stabbed an innocent grape out of her fruit cup, and chewed it with extreme prejudice.

“Uh, Twilight? You okay?”

She took a deep breath and tried to smile as she turned to Sunset. “Fine. Why do you ask?” Twilight looked around. All her friends seemed uneasy, eyes wide and barely blinking. “What?” Her arm went down to impale more produce, but missed the mark by far more than she expected. She looked at it and blinked. “When did my fork turn into a Möbihoss strip?”

“See, that’s why I’m asking if you’re okay.” Sunset licked her fingertips and reached up to Twilight’s bun. After a brief hiss, she pulled back, shaking her now smoking fingers. “Hadn’t thought impassioned evocation was even possible in this world, but you were starting to smolder. What’s wrong?”

“It’s…” Twilight bit her lip. “This is going to sound crazy.”

Sunset, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack all pointed at Pinkie Pie, who smiled and waved.

Twilight couldn’t help but smile. “It’s just… have you ever wanted the world to be quiet for a second so you can hear yourself think?” Most of the others nodded. Twilight's smile widened. “And sometimes you just feel surrounded by fools and children, and the constant coughing and sneezing and breathing and sounds of disgusting flesh surround you and…” She trailed off. Pretty much everyone was looking at her funny now.

“I was with you up until the breathing,” said Sunset.

Pinkie looked around the table. “Huh. I thought everyone felt like that sometimes.”

Applejack scooted away from her as best she could. “Uh, yeah. No.”

Sunset put a hand on Twilight’s shoulder and smiled. “We should probably check on that mental contamination hypothesis of yours.”

Twilight felt her cheeks burn as she nodded. “Sooner rather than later.”

Author's Note

This one is more than a little autobiographical. :twilightsheepish:

Mysterious Ways, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"No."

"But—"

"No," Sunset repeated, frowning.

"But—It's a lightsaber!"

"Yes it is. Now think about that feeling you're having. Now realize that every little kid that has seen Star Wars will have that same feeling. Now think about how easy it was to make that thing when you realized you had magic."

"...Oh."

"Give," Sunset commanded, her hand outstretched.

Reluctantly, the five star general handed over the metal cylinder. "You... do realize that people are going to make this all the time, right?"

"Mmmmyep. I'll just make sure only my 'chosen paladins' can keep them." The girl lit the blade up, examining it. "Or something. I'm still kind of new to this whole 'god' thing."

(FoME)

"'Chosen paladins'? Really?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "What, will you take their lightsabers away if they stop being lawful good?"

Sunset glanced about the Canterlot High lab, unable to make eye contact with the other girl. "Well, what was I supposed to say?"

"I don't know." Twilight crossed her arms. "I'm not a god."

"I don't think of myself as a god, and I don't want to. But there's a time and a place for explaining precisely what I've become. Convincing someone not to give lightsabers to one of the world's largest armed forces is neither."

Twilight sighed. "Sunset, from a cynical perspective, human history could be seen as an exercise in finding new and exciting ways to kill each other." Her expression softened as she put a hand on Sunset's shoulder. "You're going to run yourself ragged if you try to keep everyone on the planet from weaponizing magic."

Sunset kept looking away. "I... wasn't entirely joking about the religion."

Twilight took a step back, frowning. "Sunset..."

"Like it or not—and I don't—a few people already worship me. Heck, someone with a 3D printer has been making pendants of my cutie mark! I might as well try to use that for good."

After a bit of awkward silence, Twilight smiled. "Well, I can't do anything about your little cult, but I may have a better way for you to effect change."

"Hello. I'm Sunset Shimmer, and welcome to Magical Mayhem, where I explain how to use magic safely and responsibly by showing you what can go wrong if you don't. For our first episode we have... Well, let's at least try to avoid the lawsuit and call it a "beam sword." Before we begin, remember, I am a trained professional and also immortal. Do not try this at home. That's the whole point of this series. Do share, like, and subscribe though!"

(Masterweaver)

"...I cannot believe I'm doing this."

"Don't worry deary. If you're uncomfortable, you can just leave."

"Just leave—? HER? She's the reason we had to form this group in the first place!"

"The whole point of this group is to be comforting, understanding, and supportive. If she doesn't feel right being here—"

"No, it's fine, it's just... a little silly, you know? 'Gods Anonymous.'"

"Deities, dear. It's less denominational. And not all of us are really gods."

"Right, right. Okay. Hello, I'm Sunset Shimmer, the Spirit of Harmony and... I have over three hundred thousand worshipers worldwide."

"Three hundred thousand? Quite the burden. I've got my hands full with the three thousand children I have and, somehow, more are trickling in every day."

"That might be because of the whole counterpart thing. The Chrysalis of the other world is the queen of a eusocial species with all that that implies."

"Ahem, well. It's good to know the Wholesome will be completing so many lives."

"So your slutty cult is getting more sluts. Whoop-de-doo."

"Actually, Ahuizotl, the Wholesome believes in sharing all weakness to fill together all strength. How many children are in your flock?"

"....five."

"What? Only five? I mean, I'm not from this world but I would have thought the catgirl transformation would be more popular."

"Well, there's the whole 'sacrifice a cat to get the transformation' deal, and the fact that I'm apparently not as much of a god since I need an amulet to use my power... and my professional rival. She slandered me all the time before this."

"Don't worry, dear, I'm sure you'll get more kittens as you establish your beliefs...."

Author's Note

Some deities have holy texts. Sunset has a EweTube channel and a wiki.

Meanwhile, Mr. Discord has said that he will flunk any student he catches worshipping him.

"You Are" Song, by EonAon, FoME, and Masterweaver

(EonAon)

You're a mean one, Abby Cinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus
And as charming as an eel, Abby Cinch
You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel
You're a monster, Abby Cinch
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You got garlic in your soul, Abby Cinch
I wouldn't touch you with a... thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole.
You're a vile one, Abby Cinch
You have thermite in your smile.
You have all the inner sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Abby Cinch.
Given the choice between you I chose the... seasick crocodile.

(FoME)

Principal Cinch had glared for most of the song, but by its end, she regarded Neon Lights with a serenity that lay on the other end of rage. "Detention, Mr. Lights," she said almost gently.

He swallowed and adjusted his shades. "How long?"

"I have yet to decide. We will see." Principal Cinch nodded to herself, turned on her heel, and almost glided out, her inner fury betrayed only by the occasional twitch.

(Masterweaver)

"In entertainment news," Adagio reluctantly grumped, "various record labels have come under fire for repeated lawsuits against heartsong riffs. Whinny has gone on record to state that any lawsuit filed in their name is to be immediately retracted, on the grounds that expecting artistic creativity from the majority of the populace while they are ensnared in harmony magic reveals a fundamental lack of understanding on how heartsongs work." She rubbed her forehead. "Meanwhile, dozens of musicians have received lawsuits for publishing heartsongs under their labels with unwitting people as participants in the performance... Shoo be glorfet do..."

"Yeah, this is going to get pretty ridiculous," Aria acknowledged.

"Glad this didn't happen back when we were the Dazzlings," Sonata quipped.

Oh Gods, by Masterweaver [Sex...?]

"...Are you good?"

"I... I'm better now," Sunset mumbled. "Thanks, Rarity, I--"

"Not a problem. I'll admit that you simply teleporting in was rather startling."

The other girl shivered.

"...do you want to talk about it?"

"...I..." Sunset finally broke off the hug, sitting on the edge of the dress-shop's showstage. "It's... okay, so... uh, you know I have... people who worship me, like a god, right?"

"Yes. Did you have a run-in with some zealots?"

"Not... exactly. See, magic is still rebalancing and, uh, accidental summonings..."

Rarity rose an eyebrow.

"They were married," Sunset explained. "And... really, really in love with each other."

"But what does that have to--oh. Oh my."

"There were ropes, and... and she was, bent like, and he, and... heat lamps... runes, I think a... plushie?"

"Ooooooh my."

"Three hours, they said."

"Oh." Rarity coughed. "Transporting into a complete stranger's room like that without any, uh, foreknowledge--"

"That's the worst part," Sunset whispered. "I knew one of them, a teacher at school..."

"I... think," Rarity managed, "that you just need to take a teensy little breath, figure out a way to lock down your summonings, and then have a small vacation. I'll cover for you in your classes. Does that sound alright?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's... yeah..." Sunset hugged herself. "They shouldn't do that with tomatoes..."

Decepticon Panel Speaker, by FoME

Vinyl bobbed her head as she went down the stairs, the entry hall dim from the setting sun. As she reached for the front door, a harsh red light shone from behind her, and a monotone voice even more heavily modulated than her own spoke. "Unit dee jay pee zero en three. State destination."

Vinyl rolled her eyes as she turned around. "Wasn't funny the first time, Dad."

The hall lights went on with a clap, revealing a white-skinned man with close-cropped purple hair and a matching suit. Soundwave smiled as he extinguished the vivid glare from his head jewel. His voice remained the same. "What kind of father would I be if I didn't make terrible jokes?"

"The cool kind," Vinyl said, crossing her arms.

"I leave such matters to the professionals." Soundwave dipped his head at her.

Vinyl smirked. "You're damn right."

He scowled. "Language, young lady. And just where are you going?"

"Hangin' with my friends," Vinyl said with a shrug. "Got my phone, got my permit, got my sweet, sweet ride."

"Don't wear your sunglasses while driving, and be home by eleven."

Vinyl sputtered across three octaves before crying, "It's Friday night!"

Soundwave narrowed his eyes. "Be home by eleven or I send out the gnomes again."

She looked away, frowning. "Stuck in the cassette age."

"You wouldn't be here if it weren't for cassettes."

"I know, I know, most romantic mixtape ever." Vinyl sighed. "Fine. See you later, Dad."

"Have fun, sweetie."

Author's Note

I can neither confirm nor deny that Soundwave has a pet parakeet named Laserbeak.

Noise Complaint, by FoME

Twilight Sparkle cackled, once more aloft on wings of stolen magic. Five of the Rainbooms lay prone at her feet, and the sixth gaped in horror before her.

"How could you do this?" Sunset cried.

Twilight smirked. "I'm just applying the lessons you taught me, Sunset." The smirk became a sneer as she spread her arms wide. "After all, I couldn't have done this without my friends!"

"You're just making the same mistakes as before!"

"Oh, I won't deny that I've made some mistakes, but not the ones you mean. My first mistake was ever relinquishing this power. My second..." Twilight trailed off as she drifted closer, her mad grin softening as she cradled Sunset's chin in her hand. "My second was not sharing it with you to begin with."

Sunset blinked and felt herself flush. "W-what?"

"You come from a world of magic. You know precisely what we can do with this much of it at our fingertips. And you've tasted real power twice now." Twilight stroked Sunset's hand with her own, leaving lines of angry, demonic red in her wake. "Surely you're eager for a third time." Twilight gazed into Sunset's eyes. There was madness there, yes, but passion as well.

Sunset swallowed against her dry mouth. "I... I..."

"Celestia's cake-fattened rump, will you two just kiss already!?"

Both girls turned to see another, pajama-clad Sunset, her arms crossed, her eyes half-lidded, her ears pointed, and her forehead decorated with some kind of gemstone. "Honestly, people in other universes are trying to sleep."

Sunset's jaw dropped. "I... whuh?"

The other Sunset rubbed her temples. She muttered, "I really need to get Luna up to speed on dreamscape management," before taking a deep breath. "Okay, let me just check something." She shut her eyes, and her hair started dancing in an unfelt breeze as golden light streamed out from her shoulders like a cape. Phantom arms faded into translucency around her as her head started looking in all angles at once, making Sunset's eyes water.

After a few moments, the light show ended and the other Sunset shook her head, nearly losing her balance. "Don't know how Ditzy deals with that stuff. Okay, so we're just at a sort of polycosmic perigee. No risk of collision, which is good. But seriously, could you dream louder?" Her gaze shifted to Twilight, then her eyebrows rose. "On the other hand, if this is your power-mad Twilight, I can see why you're dreaming of her. Mine just looked like an angry anime character in her pajamas."

Twilight took a step away from Sunset and shrunk into herself, even folding her wings around her like a cloak.

The other Sunset turned back to the local. "Seriously, talk to her when you wake up. I don't think either of you will regret it." She yawned. "Anyway, I've got to go back to whatever passes for sleep for me anymore. And seriously, have some faith in yourself. You're one of the good guys now."

Sunset nodded slowly. "Um... sure."

Her other self gave her thumbs up, then faded into invisibility.

Sunset turned back to Twilight. "So, uh, what now?"

"I don't know. Apparently, I'm made of your deep-seated issues."

"Kiss!"

"Kiss!"

"And Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are your id."

Hanging Out to Dryad, by Masterweaver

"...Fluttershy?"

"Mmmmm. Yes Rarity?"

"I can... understand that you're comfortable using your magic. And that you have a love of nature. And... and I'm glad that you're getting more confident."

"You're uncomfortable."

"Well... yes. I mean, there were always plenty of... well, nature girl jokes behind your back--"

"Understandable. The need to categorize is almost as fundamental to humans as the need to explore."

"Fluttershy, you've been out here for three weeks, and now I find you half naked, half tree, and--and there are literal bird's nests in your hair! I really don't want to come across as condescending, and I guess I'm partially motivated by missing you, but--don't you think you're taking this druid thing a little too far?"

"...three weeks?"

"Yes. Three weeks."

"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you. I thought, it was summer vacation, and... well, I guess I just..."

"...just tell me your brother knows where you are."

"He does."

"Alright. I... can't stop you, I guess, but if anything goes wrong let him know."

Look! Up in the Sky! by FoME, Masterweaver, and archonix

(FoME)

Wonder Comics Headquarters

“Okay people, time to deal with the elephant in the room. What do we do?”

“What do you mean, boss?”

“The world’s changed, and we have to change with it. But that change is going to be rougher for some heroes than others. The staples aren’t anything special anymore. Flying, strength, magic, we’ve got people in this very room who can match some of the characters. So, what do we do? For that matter, what do we do with the Cinematic Universe, especially the ones midway through shooting?”

“All of Applewood has to worry about that one, boss.”

“And so do we. It’s just like that one line in The Amazings. Everyone’s super these days, and that just made a whole bunch of characters a lot less so. Heck, the Y-Men books just lost their main conflict. Everyone’s a mutant these days.”

“We could explore that.”

“Well, it’ll buy enough time to figure out something else to do, as long as we don’t turn it into another Clone Saga. Still, that’s one problem down, a hundred to go. Settle in, gentlemen. We’re in for a long night.”

SC Comics Headquarters

“All in favor of Filli-Second running fast enough to reboot the universe again?”

“Aye.” “Aye.” “Aye.” “Aye.”

“Fantastic. What’s for lunch?”

Shining Armor smirked. “Pretty sure that isn’t how it’s going to go, Dex.”

Poindexter scowled and adjusted his glasses. “Wait and see, Shining. You just wait and see."

(Masterweaver)

"In entertainment news--girls, do I really have to say this?" Adagio groaned.

Aria grinned. "Yep."

"This is stupid! This is stupider then the heartsong thing! This is literally the child of stupidity incarnate after it got knocked up by a drunken geek! Who is also stupid!"

"...Wait." Sonata tapped her chin. "Who in their right mind would incarnate stupidity? And what would it end up looking like anyway?"

Aria coughed into her sleeve.

"Huh? Oh right! Tangent. Entertainment news, Adagio."

"...in entertainment news," Adagio managed, "there have been a number of people arrested after they insisted they were... copyrighted... comic book characters. To be fair, they were arrested for vigilantism. The comic book industry is now... partnering with... this can't be right."

Aria tilted her head. "What?"

"...is now partnering with the police force to create a super hero training program."

There was dead silence for a moment.

"...I can not be the only person who thinks this is beyond stupid," Adagio said flatly.

"No," Aria managed, "I kind of find it stupid too."

Sonata twiddled her 'Marrina Was Innocent' button with a small blush. "Uh... it might not be all that stupid..."

(archonix)

"Really?"

Mr Discord steepled his fingers and smiled an all too friendly smile in Sunset's general direction. He turned his head to catch it a moment later and waggled his eyebrows. "Really."

"A supervillain school."

"Of course!" His smile broadened. "You did take great pains to lecture me about maintaining the balance of nature and magic in this world, my dear. There can be no light without darkness, no pleasure without pain."

"No up without down," Sunset supplied. She put her hands on her hips, but Discord only laughed at her interruption.

"No straightman without the clown," he continued, gesturing smoothly toward the motley assembly before them. "The moment these superheroes turned up it was inevitable that their mirror would appear too, yes? And frankly it seems unfair, nay unjust that they be allowed out into the world without a little guidance."

"Guidance. Discord..." Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "You're training them to be bad guys."

"I most certainly am not! And I resent the implication that you think I'm somehow 'bad' as well. Being bad means following the rules."

"You used to be a physicist."

"And you used to be a horse," Discord shot back. He paused as Sunset raised her hand, but then she lowered it and sighed again. "And so we reach an impasse. I'm not teaching them anything about how to commit crimes or whatever other schemes your worryingly expanded mind is coming up with. Is it boredom that makes you so paranoid? If I were in your position—"

"You aren't! I am! And I'm not paranoid!" Sunset rubbed her temples this time. It had little effect – the headache she was feeling was only as real as she wanted it to be, which raised all sorts of ontological questions – but it gave her something to do for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, Discord was edging back toward the group, though one eye remained firmly fixed on her.

It was in his ear.

"What," she said, very carefully, while ignoring the mischievous grin that was now flitting about her head, "are you teaching them?"

Discord pouted. "Why, how to laugh, of course! A villain is nothing without his laugh."

"Or hers," Pinkie Pie yelled from the back of the room.

Sunset could only put her head in her hands.

Author's Note

SC once stood for Sleuth Comics.

Also, I'll just be over here squeeing my head off about archonix joining in. Don't mind me.

Two Geeks' Notice, by Masterweaver

"Alright, Mister Discord, who is it you want me to meet?"

"Don't get me wrong, Twilight, you've been an excellent student, but both you and I know we're moving into new stages in our life. So I decided to find a new assistant!"

"I... suppose that's fair. I'm a little hurt that I'm being replaced, but--"

"Ah-ah-ah. You're not being replaced. She is your replacement."

"...what's the difference?"

"The difference is that you're leaving by choice, not by force! And I couldn't be more proud of you if you became a chaotic spawn of nightmares."

"...you... do realize that I kind of--"

"No, that was an orderly spawn of nightmares. Completely different."

"Well.... I guess I appreciate the sentiment. So, who is it that you're replacing me with? An eager young teenager, or an older professor of exotic sciences?"

"Both! Twilight Sparkle, meet Sonata Dusk!"

"...."

"...."

"Didn't you try to kill me?"

"Oh, that was you? I'm sorry, I wasn't myself that day."

With Great Sour, by Masterweaver

Screams.

She remembered the screams. It wasn't like she could forget.

Her eyes darted up as she heard the door creak open, and she quickly pulled her hand off the gem in her forehead.

"SOOOOOOWHADDUPMAHGIRLAY!!" The newcomer skated over--and how the doctors had let her come in with her roller blades was a mystery for the ages--and twirled her head with a maniac grin. "GODDATHINGYAWANTED!!"

Somehow, the necklace she wore spun up her neck, around her head, and through her wildly flailing hair before landing in the lap of the unamused patient. "Gee, how thoughtful of you, Lemon Zest. You know what else would be thoughtful? Being quiet in a damn hospital!"

"YAGADDASPEAKUPGALPAL! IMMAJAMMINTATHAGREATS! SPEEEEEEEEDBOOST!" The intruder twirled, skated up a wall, and jumped over the doctor just entering the room as she made her escape.

"Sweet Chrysalis! Young lady, are you okay?!" The doctor rushed over, checking her bandages and IV drips. "I'm so sorry, she just--she flew past security and--"

"I'm fine you dunderhead! ...thanks for caring." With a sigh, she pushed the doctor away. "Can I have a little... privacy, please?"

"Oh, of course, I'm so sorry, I'll just..." The doctor backed out quickly, trying to gather his paperwork up.

She waited for a moment or two before picking up the pendant in her lap. A red and yellow sun, arranged in yin and yang... ironic enough, she supposed.

Her eyes darted around for a moment, making sure nobody else was around, or glancing through the door.

Then she brought the pendant up to her mouth. "I need you, Sunset Shimmer. I need you to kill me."

Time froze. There wasn't any other way to describe it, one moment the doctors were still chasing after Lemon Zest and the next she was hanging midway to an open window, her lightbow arcing from her shoulders in the sudden silence.

And Sunset Shimmer was there. Walking in through the door, eyes intense.

"Sour Sweet, what did you just say?"

"What, are you deaf?" She flung her arms wide. "I need you to kill me! Or at the very least get rid of this ruby on my head!"

The other girl rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm not the one who chose the pony aspects, alright? If you're unhappy with what you got--"

"Oh, no, I'm totally fine with new jewelry, I'm a teenage girl after all. But do you know what else I am? I AM A FUCKING SCHIZOPHRENIC!"

Sunset Shimmer blinked.

"Do you know how terrifying it is?" Sour Sweet crossed her arms. "Do you know how frightening it is to not be able to trust your own emotions? To hear voices, telling you the world isn't what it seems? And that's before the hallucinations. And if that were it, I'd be fine with the pills I had. I was doing pretty good for a while there, actually!" She smiled. "I got a boyfriend! I started babysitting again! Hell, some of my hallucinations were actually kind of sweet!"

"Sour--"

"And then I got this." She pointed at her forehead. "I don't know how this works, but before hand I knew the spiders weren't real. Now? Now the spiders become real. And they get big. And they tear through my home, and, and they attack people, and..."

She sighed. "I need you to kill me, Sunset. Or figure this out. I don't... I don't want to die anymore, but... I don't think I can live like this."

Author's Note

As I noted on the thread, I'm not sure whether this can't be canon or if it needs to be.

For those wondering about the boyfriend, I'm fairly certain that comes from Nico-Stone Rupan's demonstrations that enjoyable stories and the 2nd Person tag aren't mutually exclusive.

Orison, I Am Disappoint, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

Sunset let her face hit her desk with a groan, raising her hand. "Miss Harshwhinny? Something importantly stupid just came up, I'm going to need to trance out for a bit."

The teacher clicked her fingers together. "Isn't the expression 'stupidly important?'"

"Trust me, I meant importantly stupid."

"And what, exactly, is this situation?"

"Some of my worshipers are starting a religious war over what I am," Sunset explained. "I'd rather not have a second Romane imperial collapse on my hands, if I could avoid it."

"Ah. Very well, you're free to negotiate and/or smack sense into them, as appropriate." The woman turned to the blue girl next to Sunset. "Miss Dash, I expect you to take notes for her while she's gone."

"Aw, c'mon!"

(FoME)

"In the end," Sunset said at lunch, "it was a dispute over whether my cutie mark is red with yellow parts or yellow with red parts."

"Really?" asked Pinkie.

"No, but it was equally unimportant." Sunset sighed as she picked at her pasta salad. "I never thought I'd say this, but I may need to write a holy text. Anyone want to provide a book?"

(Masterweaver)

"Does it have to be a book?" Dash whined. "I have... issues with books."

"Hey, yeah. If some of your worshipers have dyslexia--"

"Fine! I'll make holy vlog!"

In Her Image, by Masterweaver

She tugged the hood over her head, checking to make sure her distinctive hair wasn't exposed, before sticking her hands in her pockets and opening the van door.

Life had been hard for a while, she supposed, but recent events had forced her out on the streets in more ways then one. Which absolutely sucked--she had never needed to fake an identity before, and now she couldn't even get money without getting stares. Stares she hated. Stares she did not deserve.

A growl escaped her throat. All her hard work--all her research, all her politicking and putting up with paperwork and idiot coworkers--all her efforts to raise herself to somebody of import, somebody who had power and used it for the betterment of all--had been wiped away by some stupid teenager from another world. The board had been upended. The game had changed, new rules slapped on, and when the vision passed she had seen the way her partner was looking at her.

It was awe.

But it wasn't awe she had earned.

She'd run home. Packed up. Pulled everything from her accounts, put it on a cloud, and hopped in her car. She'd traded it at a dealership and never looked back.

Now she was roving the country, sleeping in a van, and making a living... through online art commissions. And maybe a diet of convenience store food wasn't what she was used to, but it was the best she could get at the moment. She'd learned to be more discerning of her purchases. She'd learned to cook things on a portable stove. She'd learned to park her car off the highway, staring at stars as she pulled her sleeping bag over her chest.

She avoided churches like the plague.

The worst part, in her mind, was that she couldn't actually blame the kid. Oh, sure, maybe she'd made some mistakes, and maybe this whole situation was her fault in the first place, but she did what she did to save the world. And every time she tried to hate her, every time she tried to come up with the emotions she should have... well, some well timed news report would come over the radio, or some bout of luck would hit her, or maybe she'd just be exhausted.

In the end, she just suffered through the days.

Slinging her groceries into the back seat, Sunset Shimmer revved up the engine of her van and drove on.

Under Development, by FoME

White.

It took quite some time before Microchips could focus on anything but the white. The sky and ground were a uniform, sterile white. There were no shadows, not even under his own feet, so the horizon blended together into a seamless whole that could've been five feet away or five million.

Not that there was much else to focus on. Not beyond the only other figure in the space, sitting in the lotus position and floating a few feet above the ground. It wore nothing, but had nothing to conceal. Its body was featureless and androgynous, and its flesh caught the sourceless light like plastic. It had no head or neck. Instead, above its shoulders floated a capital, serifed G. Squares of bright green or dead-screen blue flitted about it like moths around a lamppost.

The figure did not move, but Microchips felt an unmistakable sense of focus upon him. A voice, genderless and neutral, boomed from every direction at once. "You should not yet be here, User. Return to your sack of meat."

Microchips gasped as his eyes snapped open. The rest of the CHS computer club looked at him expectantly. "Well?" said Scribble Dee.

He looked at the search engine's home page warily. "The cybervisualization spell definitely works. Also, Gillion is definitely working on something similar."

Author's Note

Gillion is the local equivalent of Google. Apparently, the developing awareness prefers the old logo.

The Old Guard, by Masterweaver

"I really have to thank you for this," Ahuizotl grunted. "I would never have been able to handle this on my own."

"Well, the Wholesome is all about completing the self with others," Chrysalis acknowledged. "Although I'm afraid I will have to discuss compensation at some later point. So many of my children..." She trailed off.

Sunset rubbed the gem in her forehead. "I'm kind of amazed that there was an entire lost pantheon. If it weren't for the Power Patriots and Discord coming in at the last minute... is there any other ancient magic I should be made aware of?"

Twilight coughed. "Um. There are... lots of legends. And myths." She rubbed the back of her head. "Across the entire world."

"Great." Sunset groaned. "Is there any possibility of another Quetzalcoatl incident?"

"...there's the concept of Ragnarok," Twilight allowed. "And... well, there are many old stories about magical beings retreating to other worlds, but I thought that might be explained by the portal... there's also Neighponese mythology, which is flat out weird--"

"You know, once upon a time I thought it would be awesome to ascend," Sunset deadpanned. "Now I realize how much work it really is." She let her head drop to the table. "Twi, just... do me a favor and compile a list of dangerous creatures in order of most to least, so I can figure out how to handle this."

Author's Note

Before anyone asks, no, the usual myth for the origin of the islands of Neighpon is not canon to the Oversaturated World. And no, I'm not going into further detail. I'd have to raise the story rating if I did.

Xenocurious, by Masterweaver and FoME [Sex]

(Masterweaver)

"....Sooooooooo."

"Yeah...."

Sweetie Drops wrung her hands. "I... can't... exactly say this is a surprise. I mean, you told me about... running away from home."

"Yeah."

"And what just happened with Sunset and... magic, and all that..."

"...This... this is going to make things awkward, isn't it?"

"...Lyra, I'm socially conditioned to view sexual intimacy with nonhumans as very much taboo. And even if I push past that--which I'm willing to try--it's just... well---"

She gestured helplessly at the small green unicorn, who folded back her ears. "O-oh..."

"Nonono!" The cream girl rushed over and hugged her. "I want us to work, I do, I just--this mental block. I have to push past it, is all--"

"It's kind of weird for me too," Lyra pointed out. "I mean, I've been a human since I was five. It's been ages since I had hooves..."

Sweetie Drops leaned back. "...do you... do you want to stay human? Or unicorn, or--"

"I want to be human. This is... this isn't bad, but it isn't... me." Lyra shook her head. "Can you call Sunset? Maybe she can fix this..."

(FoME)

Meanwhile, in Equestria...

Bonbon perked up as she heard the door ring. "Gooood morning, and welcome to Bonbon's Bonbons!"

Pinkie Pie returned the grin. "Good morning to you too! You seem super double chocolate chipper today, which is appropriate, since I need twenty gallons of chocolate syrup."

"Right away." Bonbon hummed to herself as she went into the storeroom and rolled the drum to the register. "Remember, this is a few hundred pounds, so watch where you roll it."

Pinkie saluted. "Not a problem. Though you never did tell me where you get these magihazard-safe drums."

"Trade secret. Put it on the Cakes' account?"

"Yuh huh. We just got one of those fancy Istallion coffee machines." Pinkie sprang up and proclaimed, "Today is Latte Day!" She paused in midair. "Wait, you didn't know that." She slowly drifted back to the floor, her briefly interrupted smile back in place. "So why are you so happy?"

Bonbon gave a fond sigh. "Fingers are amazing."

Author's Note

"Wait, where's Lyra?"

"Unicorn stamina is less amazing. The ape body only helps so much."

Where Parallel Lines Cross Over, by Tophe

Focused as she was on the game, Ditzy didn't notice the orange hand on her shoulder until it rudely yanked her two feet into the sixth dimension. Hocus Pocus cards scattered everywhere, including outside of Euclopean space. The other two players just sat stunned.

As soon as she got her bearings, Ditzy whirled angrily onto the alicorn girl. "What's the idea? If you wanted to talk, you could have just asked!"

Sunset examined her intensely, from every angle including some that weren't conventionally perceptible. "Ditzy, have you felt particularly giant-monsterish lately?"

"Or at least given me a second's warning... Giant-monsterish? Really?"

"Have you recently had too many tentacles and not enough heads?"

"Uh, no."

"Consumed the substrate of reality to fuel your powers?"

"Not particularly."

"Noticed the laws of physics ceasing to apply to you?"

"No more than usual."

Sunset glared. "What do you mean, usual?"

"I can fly."

"Doesn't count."

"I can fly in seven dimensions."

"Anything else?"

"I was baking yesterday, and the muffins burned in less than five minutes. That's definitely against the laws of physics."

A worried expression flickered across Sunset's face. Branches of the Tree, she's actually considering it. "That was a joke, Sunset."

Sunset didn't laugh, and finished her examination in grim silence. "Everything seems fine. As far as I can tell, you're perfectly normal."

"I consider that an insult. So what'd you drag me away from lunchtime gaming for?"

"One of your alternates got in trouble. The sort of trouble that ends with annihilation of all sentient life and the digestion of reality. I don't have a good grasp of the resonance between different multiversal instances of the same person - destiny magic is impossible to study in a controlled environment - so I had to get you out of the world, just in case you'd gotten into a parallel situation. Our universe isn't stable enough to support that kind of power, your presence would have caused irreparable damage to the local area." Ditzy's mouth hung open in horror. "Oh, your alternate's fine, by the way."

"... when you say fine, is that technically fine or actually fine?"

"Actually fine."

Author's Note

Here's your context. Sunset may not privy to everything that happens in all possible Equestrias, but some events are hard to miss.

Also, Ditzy was able to recover the cards she'd dropped outside of conventional spacetime.

Good Vibrations, by FoME

After Sugarcoat’s confession, she and Lemon Zest found themselves going to Canterlot on a somewhat frequent basis. It was easy to despise a caricature of stupid, lazy public school kids, but much harder to hate those who’d offered a sympathetic ear and covering the cost of your therapeutic sundae.

After a few outings, the four girls agreed to ask Twilight to the next one, the awkwardness having fallen to acceptable levels. With Dash occupied with a team practice, it was just the Crystal Prep girls, Pinkie, Twilight, and Sunset sitting in Sugarcube Corner.

“Tell me more about this technology empathy phenomenon,” said Twilight.

Lemon bobbed her head from side to side. “Not exactly easy to describe, you know? It’s like this whole other sense.”

Sugarcoat nodded. “The classic example of trying to describe red to a blind person applies. Though it lies more between hearing and, as you said, empathy.”

“And stuff just happening.” Lemon tapped the headphones hanging around her neck. “The sound quality on these babies has never been better.”

“And I was already drawing up party cannon blueprints even before Maud got rock powers!” added Pinkie. “I’d never been able to make the idea gel before the Fall Formal.”

Sunset screwed up her face, though some of that might have been the extra-thick milkshake. “It’s weird. I didn’t study much earth pony magic in Equestria, but I definitely never heard of any kind of technological rapport.”

“Could it be an emergent property of combining equine and human magic?” said Twilight.

“Possibly. I’ll have to ask Princess Twilight. I suppose I could experiment with it myself, but I’d rather keep myself to what I already understand.”

Sugarcoat gazed at nothing for a moment. “Picturing Twilight as royalty still feels… surreal.”

“Especially magic horse royalty,” added Lemon.

Sunset chuckled. “Ninety percent of the time, she’s a bigger dork than this one.” She jerked a thumb at a smirking Twilight.

“Gee, thanks.”

“And the other ten?” said Sugarcoat.

Sunset gave a serene smile that seemed better suited on some saffron-robed monk. “That’s when you see why and how she became magic horse royalty.”

“Hello.” The word came out as a long, deepening glissando, disrupting the moment. Everyone turned to see Vinyl Scratch all but draping herself over Lemon Zest. “You come here often?”

Lemon’s face flickered through several emotions: shock, confusion, intrigue. “Dude, is your voice Auto-Tuned?”

Vinyl smiled. “You know it, baby.”

Octavia came up to Sunset, frowning quizzically. “What precisely is going on here?”

Sunset gave a quiet gasp. “Just how many prosthetics does Vinyl have?”

“More than she likes to admit.”

“Would you say she qualified as more technological than biological?”

“I’d say that’s a rather personal matter for her.” Octavia smirked. “And she’d probably classify herself as ‘musical’ before either of those.”

“Ah.” Sunset nodded. “That’d do it. I think she may qualify as a speaker system for the purposes of Lemon Zest’s magic.”

“Well, it would explain why she’s been more…” Octavia cleared her throat. “Well. Never you mind. How do we stop it?”

“I don’t think we can. Musicians with earth powers are her catnip.”

“I am not sure how to feel about this.”

Octavia sat on her side of Vinyl's basement, taking a moment to let her retelling sink in. "And that was when you started commenting on the smell of her hair."

Vinyl's jaw hung open. The sound that came out was somewhere between a struck tuning fork and the Emergency Broadcast System.

"Quite. Sunset said something about sensory overload, you never encountering something quite like that before. Now that you've experienced it, you should be able to acquit yourself with greater dignity in the future."

Blushing bright red, Vinyl nodded so fast that her glasses nearly flew off.

A Different Sort of Summoning, by Masterweaver [Suggestive Content]

Sunset stared at the paper in her hands.

Sunset stared. At the paper. In her hands.

Sunset. Stared.

At. The. Paper.

In. Her. Hands.

....no, not even dramatically emphasizing it made it any more incredulous.

Almost without thinking, she snapped her fingers--and immediately six very confused teenage girls were in the living room with her.

"Before you complain about me stealing you away from whatever," she said quickly, "I need you all to confirm that this thing that I am holding is real."

Applejack peered over her shoulder. "...is... that a court summons?"

Sunset's shoulders sagged. "Yeah. I'm not hallucinating this, am I?"

"Violations of... religious and magical law?" Rarity read.

Twilight took the paper and unfolded it. "Well, that's... quite a list."

"Eh, some people will lawyerize anything," Pinkie said with a shrug. "I mean, I remember this one time I baked a totally awesome cake—"

"Okay, since I'm the blunt one I'm just going to say it. Fluttershy, why are you naked?"

At Rainbow Dash's words, everyone turned to the girl who had hastily wrapped herself in a quilt with Sunset's mark on it, only just now noticing the tattooed lines on her face.

"...I, uh..." Fluttershy blushed. "I... miiiiiight have been practicing a druidic ritual to connect myself to the feeling of nature while in the depths of a local forest." She coughed. "But, yes, that is kind of a ridiculous lawsuit."

Sunset blinked. "Oh. Sorry for interrupting that. I'll just... send you back now if you need it?"

"That would be nice, yes."

With a snap of Sunset's fingers, the now empty quilt fell to the ground. She turned to the others. "So. Anybody else pulled from something important?"

A general casual negative reaction was given.

"Okay. So... Lawsuit. Against me... I mean, what." She threw up her hands. "What."

Author's Note

I checked with Masterweaver. He has no idea who filed the suit. I invite you to speculate.

Sect Maniacs, by FoME

Certain constants persist across all instances of a given person, and one of them is that Twilight Sparkle will always be concerned about tardiness. This particular Twilight could teleport to Canterlot High moments before the first bell… in theory. In practice, that required enough power to leave her giddy, exhausted, and in no condition to pay attention for several class periods. Instead, she rode a bus that got her there a good half an hour before the school day began. Sometimes, she saw faculty driving or flying to work.

Today, she saw Sunset Shimmer repeatedly hitting her head against the Wondercolt statue’s plinth.

Twilight teleported to her side and grabbed her shoulders. “Sunset! Stop! What’s wrong?”

Sunset swung her head forward again, though much more slowly, just resting it against the marble. She sighed. “It’s nothing important. Just really stupid.”

“Are you okay?”

“Fine. Magical reinforcement.”

Twilight felt some tension leave her. “Is it the lawsuit?”

“No, that cleared itself up pretty fast.” Sunset straightened up and ran a glowing hand over the thin cracks in the statue, mending them. She turned around, revealing a wholly unmarred face. “Since no one’s actually drafted any magical laws other than my suggestions and most religions and I have agreed to mutual non-interference—“

“Don’t you fight malicious deities?”

“Yeah, but gods aren’t religions. Point is, no court on the planet would actually rule on the suit. Plus, I still don’t know who filed the thing in the first place.” Sunset grimaced. ”I guess I could find out, but that would be horribly invasive.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

Sunset sighed again as she slumped against the statue. “Do you follow my magic safety vlog?”

Twilight sat next to her. “Yes, but I don’t check EweTube that regularly. Why?”

“Well, I’ve covered the most obvious dangers, so I thought it would be a good idea to talk about Equestria. Give people some context, show them a culture that developed with magic and the need to use it responsibly.”

Twilight nodded. “Seems reasonable.”

“Of course, just talking about a place no one’s ever seen wasn’t going to work well, so I included some visual aids. Your counterpart took some photos of towns and ponies that I included in the video.” Sunset gave a tired grin. “You really should watch it. You’d love it.”

“I will. So, what went wrong?”

Sunset tilted her head back and groaned. “I underestimated the stupidity of the Internet.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Let me guess: There’s porn.”

That got a snort. “Yeah, but I expected that. See, I also showed everyone what I looked like back home.” Sunset’s headgem lit up, and a three-dimensional illusion of an adorable little unicorn manifested before the two girls, standing at about eye level.

A high-pitched squeak slipped out of Twilight’s mouth. She covered it, but couldn’t hide her wide-eyed wonderment. Her hands muffled her words a bit. “It’s like it’s specifically designed to appeal to the part of my psyche that’s still six years old.”

Sunset chuckled. “Yeah. Though if I went home now, I’d probably be taller and have wings. Still, about forty percent of the comments were about cuteness. Or diabetes, which apparently counts.”

Twilight folded her hands in her lap, gripping her hands in one another so she wouldn’t try to pet the illusion. “So, what went wrong?”

“Well,” said Sunset, bitterness creeping into her voice, “it seems there’s a new branch of Shimmerism now.”

“What?”

“In a matter of hours, people decided they’d rather worship me as a unicorn than me as a human. And this group is calling themselves, I kid you not, ‘The Church of the Divine Bacon Horse.’” Sunset shook her head. “So, yeah. That’s why I’m beating my head against a wall.”

After a few seconds, Twilight said, “Honestly? I’m tempted to join you.”

Author's Note

Inspired by this video review of Sugarcatharsis (Relevant bit starts at 1:36.)

Heroes of the Tropical Storm, by Maran

“Apple Bloom, get in here!” yelled Granny Smith.

From another room, Apple Bloom immediately hollered, “Ah didn't do it this time!”

“Ah know that,” replied Granny. “Ah jus' reckoned you and yer pals would wanna see these flyin' folks breakin' up a hurricane.”

Her granddaughter walked into the living room, followed by Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.

Granny waved her hand at the TV. “See, after all the bad news lately, here's a story 'bout folks usin' their powers for good!”

Sweetie smiled as she watched the pegasus-aspected people zoom over the giant mass of clouds. “That's really cool.”

Scootaloo, however, looked disappointed as the scene switched to a satellite view. “That's nice, I guess.”

Granny turned and gazed at the girl with sympathy. “Ah'm sorry child, Ah didn't think how it'd make ya feel to watch folks flyin' when you're . . .”

“It's not that.” Scootaloo quickly shook her head. “I never expected to have magic powers at all, so I'm happy with what I've got.”

“Then what is it?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, when Granny Smith said they were breaking up a hurricane, I imagined them slicing it like a pizza.” She moved her palm vertically in a cutting motion. “But all they're doing is spreading out the clouds and slowing down the wind before it hits the coast. It's a bit of a let down.”

Apple Bloom tilted her head and stared at the map of the Baltimare area smothered in clouds. “Slice it like a pizza? That sounds mighty dangerous and impractical.”

Meanwhile, just outside of Baltimare . . .

“Private Dust, what in Hades were you thinking?”

Lying secured on a stretcher, Lightning Dust's gaze meandered vaguely in Captain Spitfire's direction, but didn't quite make contact with her eyes. “I just wanted to break up the storm as fast as possible. Ma'am.”

“After I specifically ordered you not to try to slice it like a pizza!” Spitfire paced alongside the stretcher as the emergency technicians pushed the Lightning Dust into the hospital.

“It wasn't like slicing a pizza.” The private shook her head and winced at the motion. “It was like punching a ball of dough.”

“A ball of dough the size of three commonwealths that was whizzing around at a hundred miles an hour,” retorted Spitfire.

Lightning Dust drew a raspy breath and sighed. “Yeah, that's a good way to describe it.”

“Well, if you're ever dumb enough to live through another stunt like that, I'll kill you.”

“Fair enough.”

Author's Note

Sadly, this one's pretty noncanon... though not entirely. Most weather takes place above safe altitudes, but people might be able to directly interact with major vortex systems. That said, Lightning Dust is probably around Dash's age.

Metamorphosis, by Masterweaver

"Okay. First question: How."

"Well, while Sour Sweet hasn't actually joined the Wholesome, she did drop by our dream-world hub, we got to talking, and she mentioned what you did for her--"

"That's not how, that's why."

"Fine. It turns out that I, too, can 'exchange' magic between individuals. Something about love entanglement, I think, or maybe just my shapeshifting."

"Alright. Continue with why."

"Well, while my religion is known for our sexual practices, those are actually derived from our social practices. It is our belief that everyone is born incomplete, and that completion only comes from others. This, this is a way for others to complete each other in a non-sexual manner."

"...surprisingly, I can see that... and you're not just shifting people for giggles?"

"No. I can't just shift one person's magical trait, it has to be an exchange... and I haven't tried unwilling exchanges, yet. It might be possible, but I don't want to go down that moral grey area. Everyone that comes for the service has to find a partner, and I do check that it's not just 'forehead gems are cooler' or 'I wonder what it would be like to fly,' it has to be a genuine need and a genuine service."

"Okay. Maybe it's just my Equestrian social conditioning making me see this as creepy. But... I guess you seem to be responsible with this..."

"Of course. I'm a full grown adult, caring for hundreds of my children."

"Just... keep me posted with the switching, okay? I got a prayer from a trans-tribe kid who was afraid to go home after swapping his lightbow for super strength. Nothing bad came out of it, thankfully, but..."

"Ah, yes, that. Alright, I'll keep you in touch."

A Juicy Story, by Maran

“And it must be a slow news day because Sonata has a story about food.” Adagio gave the camera a deadpan stare before turning to her co-anchor.

“Actually Dagi, I'm not reporting on food because it's a slow news day,” answered Sonata with a winning smile.

“Don't call me Dagi.”

Sonata shrugged. “Whatever sinks your boat. As I was saying, it's not a slow news day. This is my new segment, Sonata's Food News, where I report the latest trends in the food and restaurant business.” Staring directly into the camera, she continued, “If you've gone grocery shopping, eaten out, or bought any food at all over the past few months, you probably experienced sticker shock at how cheap it is. The reason for that is, of course, magic. Earth-aspected farmers are growing larger crops more frequently in a wider range of growing zones. A bigger supply with the same demand equals lower prices. So entrepreneurs in the food industry are developing unique new foods to make up for lost profits. Canterlot's own Berry Punch Vineyard has the new Triple Grape Surprise. I can't see it, but there should be a digitally imposed image of a giant grape next to my head. They look like plum-sized red grapes on the outside, but inside are three layers of different varieties: red, green, and purple. With three times the antioxidants and fiber, this is one super duper food! It also makes a pink wine which I've heard pairs well with desserts.

“Not to be outdone, Sweet Apple Acres created a new Cinnamon Swirl Gala Apple, which you should see to my left. What's amazing about this fruit is that the cinnamon flavor typically comes from the bark of the cinnamon tree, yet they got it to swirl inside these apples. They're planning on unveiling even more cinnamon varieties this fall.

“But it's not just earth-aspected people who are getting creative with food. Donut Joe, a unicorn-aspected baker, has the Frozen Custard Donut. As the name suggests, it looks like a regular filled donut, but the filling is frozen custard! The donut stays warm on the outside and cold on the inside. So now you can eat frozen custard for breakfast and feel only a little bit weird about it.

“Health officials and medical schools are barely beginning to study the impact of magic on human health. There is also intense debate among experts who care about such things over whether any food can truly be certified organic these days. There's no doubt that the new varieties of fruit are unnatural, but even normal-looking food is probably infused with passive magic. But I say magical people should eat magical food! Then again, I'm a humanoid sea monster, so what do I know? I'm Sonata Dusk and that's your food news for today.” She folded her hands with exaggerated primness and turned toward her co-anchor. “Back to you, Ms. Adagio Dazzle, my esteemed colleague.”

Adagio rolled her eyes. “If you're trying to get me to say that I'd prefer to be called Dagi, your efforts are wasted. I do have one question though.”

“You're going to ask me why I didn't mention tacos, aren't you?”

“No, actually I want to ask why you're here when you have your new job as a mad scientist's lovely assistant.”

“I can do both!” exclaimed Sonata in an indignant tone. “Why couldn't I do both?”

“Maybe because you can't even do one job right,” replied Adagio, smirking.

Sonata put her hand over her heart in a theatrical gesture. “You wound me, Ms. Dazzle! I thought we respected each other.”

Adagio's smirk soured as she clenched her fists. “Respect? You tazed me, your leader, and you call that respect?”

“Yep! And you're lucky the director only lets me do that once a week. Now here's Aria with the for-realsies news . . .”

Citrus Blend, by Masterweaver

Author's Note

I think I'll just let Weaver explain himself:

So I noticed an inconsistency between some of these snips, and I've decided to correct it in the most ludicrously stupid way possible.

Citrus Blend, by Masterweaver

"Oh yeah, neck-fluff is totally hard to keep clean," Lemon Zest agreed.

Rainbow Dash shot her a confused look. "Uh... but..." Her eyes darted between Lemon's fingers and her beaming face. "You've got the finger-hooves! How could you know how neck-fluff works?"

"Well, my bro's a flyer."

"Oh that makes sense. I didn't know you had a brother?"

Sugarcoat put her head in her hands. "Oh, here we go..."

"Yeah, he's a little weird but--actually, wanna meet him?"

"Uh... I guess?" Rainbow shrugged. "Always nice to meet a new flyer."

"Okey-doke! Let me just get him." Lemon Zest closed her eyes, strangely relaxing into her chair.

Rainbow Dash frowned. "...What--?"

"She does this sometimes," Sugarcoat explained. "She's... kind of crazy. You'll see."

Lemon's eyes snapped open and, without any warning, she dived across the table and tackled Rainbow. "OHSHITWATTUP? GOODTAMEETYASISHASSAIDSOMUCHABOUTYA!"

"Uh, what?"

The Shadowbolt picked Rainbow up and shook her head. "ZESTYLIME'SWHAT! I'MLEMON'SLIVEINTWINLONGSTORYBUTITOTESGETYOURWEIRDING! WEWEREWEIRDINGWHENTHISALLGOTDOWNBUTTISCOOLNOWTISCOOL!"

"She used to have a twin," Sugarcoat deadpanned. "He died horrifically. Then she started wearing his icon and saying he lived in her head now."

"Oh." Rainbow blinked. "...Uh, nice to meet you...Zesty Lime?"

"GOODTOMEETYOUTOOTELLYAWATRACETOTHEPARKTHREETWOONEGO! SPEEEEEDBOOST!" A lightbow grew from her back as she shot out the door and took to the skies.

"...what? What?! What?!?!"

Sugarcoat sipped her drink. "Two magics is weird, right? Tell you what, you race her and I'll call Sunset."

Postpartum Confusion, by Masterweaver

"...Um."

Sunset blinked.

"Um," she said again. "Er," she tried. "I mean... okay, by this point I should be used to being thrown weird things out of the blue but..."

She coughed.

"...Look. I'm a magical expert—heck, I'm the magical expert—but that doesn't mean I'm... a doctor. Of any kind. And I get that this is weird, magically, and I'd love to help--or at least find a way that you could get help if this comes up again and again but—"
She paused, trying to figure out how to put it.

"Look, to be frank, I haven't had sex as a human. Let alone... yeah. So, I... look, I have no idea, alright? I'm sorry, I know you're worried, but aside from the strangeness she seems healthy. I mean..." Sunset coughed into her fist. "I get that you were... uh... you know, when I did my magic shebang, but... I really, really can't help here. Like, at all."

Cadence and Shining Armor shared a look.

"...you want to be a godparent?" the dean finally asked.

"Sorry, can't. Churches and all." Sunset sighed, looking at the baby girl cooing in the cradle. "Although, if you like, I can check in on little Flurry Heart regularly. Just to see if she hasn't exploded things."

Author's Note

I'm not entirely sure what Flurry's story is. Given Weaver, I'm a little afraid to ask.

Sonnenunterganglied, by FoME

Author's Note

The following is an affectionate riff on [url= https://www.fimfiction.net/user/163197/Oroboro/stories]Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Project. Specifically the last story, For the Love of Sunset. Reading it first is recommended but not compulsory.

With regards to the chapter title, a rough translation is "Song of Sunset," a play on the Nibelungenlied, the epic poem Wagner adapted into Der Ring des Nibelungen, also known as the Ring Cycle. I swear this made sense in my head. And if anyone who actually speaks German wants to correct me on this, by all means, feel free.

Sonnenunterganglied, by FoME

Sunset found speaking with Ditzy to be fascinating in the same way as a conversation with Pinkie Pie: The other girl represented a unique perspective that, if taken in too large a dose, would make Sunset question everything she thought she knew.

Sunset rubbed her temples. Right now, she was pretty sure she was getting near the LD50 of Ditzy Doo. "So, let me make sure I have this straight."

"Okay," said Ditzy in their little corner of the study hall.

"You enter this world in the second floor girls' bathroom of CHS."

"Yup."

"You fly headfirst into your local analogue."

Ditzy nodded. "Good to know that I don't explode if I touch myself."

"Phrasing. The two of you manage to break a pipe with your impact."

"Not one of my finer moments, no," Ditzy said with a nervous chuckle.

"You stayed to try to help her."

"Well, I couldn't just wreck everything and leave myself to fix it, could I?"

Sunset smirked. "You inhabit a very interesting realm of grammar. Have I ever told you that?"

"A few times."

"Anyway, the flooding gets bad enough that the floor gives way."

"At least it wasn't under either of me."

"And Twilight's personal lab—which is something she has in that instance of CHS—was directly underneath the bathroom, and the water caused an explosion."

"A magical one at that. I could feel it trying to push me out of that universe."

"Twilight, the Rainbooms, and I were all in the lab at the time. And when we recovered..." Sunset trailed off. The very idea was too much for her to fathom.

Ditzy finished the thought for her. "Every one of them was convinced you were going out with her. And you had memories that agreed with each of them."

Sunset took a deep breath, then said, "I have to ask; given all the student bodies of all of the versions of Canterlot High, is there a single heterosexual girl among them?"

"Well, there's me."

"Oh. Okay then. Good to know."

Perimeter Patrol, by Masterweaver

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa!"

Rarity glanced skywards. "Is he still up there?"

"Eeeeyep."

"...is anyone going to help him figure out how to land?"

"Rainbow tried a while back. At tha least, she got him ta figure how ta do a consistent circle 'stead o' those figure eights he was doin'."

"Huh." Rarity watched the screaming boy pass by yet again. "I wonder why Sunset hasn't dealt with this."

"Oh, she kinda did. Took one look at him and told Fluttershy ta set up a first aid station fer when he tuckers out."

"That's... kind of callous."

"'parently she's got some more important stuff ta work out. Somethin' bout a space agency experimentin' with teleportation."

"Oh."

"Eeeyup."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa--!"

Rarity sighed. "Well, I feel for Flash, but I can't think of anything I could do here."

Chance Encounter, by Bardic_Knowledge

Chance Encounter, by Bardic_Knowledge

"So you met another analogue of yourself."

"Even better, this one knew exactly what I'd been going through."

Sunset gave a quizzical head-tilt as Ditzy nommed a muffin. After a moment, the grey extra-dimensional human continued.

"I've mostly gotten my literal trips across Equestrias under control, but there was a bit of a resonance thing going on at the time. I was cleaning out my attic, got my foot caught and wound up falling over some bizarre brain-in-a-jar thing."

"Eugh."

"My first reaction, too. But I got a good explanation for it. Apparently, one of her early mentors gave it to her to show her a potential future that wasn't very pleasant."

"Not pleasant how?"

"Think the Cybos from Space Trek and you wouldn't be far off. Except that they don't particularly care if you're dead on conversion, and they treat the conversion religiously."

"I think we've gotten a little off track," said Sunset, looking a little green.

Ditzy nodded. "Right. Anyways, she apparently noticed my entrance because she can see like I can into other dimensions. She said her first trip out was a little less hazardous for her than mine, but at least I didn't leave Equestria. For a given meaning of 'Equestria,' anyways. After she left a note for her husband and daughter, we took a short walk back here."

Sunset took a sharp breath. "Wait, I think I know who you're talking about. Remember what I said about one of your other selves getting in trouble? And I asked if you felt giant-monsterish?"

All Ditzy could do was blink. "Wait, that was her? Good thing she just dropped me off at the bubble instead of coming in when I invited her."

"Well, as long as she wasn't a monstrosity at the time it probably would've been okay, but you never know sometimes. Since it sounds like she's older than either of us, I guess we should bow to her greater experience."

Author's Note

I swear I'll get back to My Little Praetor at some point.

Edit from the future: Technically speaking, I did.

Chaos Observation, by FoME

Draconequus Aspect

Once more, I must preface this with a note of an extremely limited sample size, one I can do nothing to rectify. Well, nothing that would contribute to the overall integrity of the cosmos.

Physical Traits: None. As far as I can tell, I don't have a single cell out of place when compared to how I was before the girls gave their prismatic pentagonal pyramid performance (putting aside the usual division and die-off, of course.) Indeed, from a purely physical perspective, I appear to be the only unmodified specimen of Homo sapiens sapiens left on the planet. It actually makes a twisted sort of sense. In this day and age, there is little more surprising or unexpected than the seemingly normal.

Magical Traits: Where do I begin? Where can I begin? The only person who could even begin to understand what it's like is Sunset Shimmer, and she has problems of her own.

I'm not proud of what I did when I first got these powers. After that first snap, there was an indescribable rush, an incomparable thrill, and it only got better with each exertion of my will afterwards. I had my own mental cheering section egging me on to twist reality into a pretzel and take a bite out of it just because I could. It was only when those cheerleaders tried to take the wheel that I decided to kick them out of my mixed metaphor of a mentality.

I'm not proud, but I do understand why I went more than a little mad with power. Aside from the whole "corrupting absolutely" thing, I was finally getting a chance to live my boyhood dream. Not only was magic real, I was a mage! No more poopooing people who dared to dream of something greater than reality just because I knew all of the stumbling blocks in the way. No more sighing longingly at every new work of speculative fiction. I could live the dream, regardless of what that dream actually was.

This has gotten a lot more personal than I meant it to. Fine. I'm the physical embodiment of Chaos and Disharmony, which apparently merit capital letters in this context. If I can't break my professionalism here, when can I?

Interesting. I definitely got a ping off of Ms. Harshwhinny when I typed that.

Aside from being able to detect all forms of dissonance, from emotional aggravation to the faint background hum of entropy, I can literally do anything I put my mind to. Probably. Ms. Shimmer has made a list of very bad ideas to explore. Temporal paradoxes, mass synthesis of antimatter, doing anything with souls, assuming those exist now... Really, it's nothing I wouldn't have avoided on my own. I do have some sense, after all.

And that was a bit of shame from all the way in Equestria. So sorry to disappoint, old friend, but my universe isn't nearly as resilient as yours.

Oh, and I suppose that efforts that don't fall under the banner of "Chaos and Disharmony" are rather more difficult, but with my understanding of how the world works, it's really just a matter of properly justifying it to my own magic. On that note, I do appear to be duty-bound to oppose Ms. Shimmer to maintain balance in the universe, but given how her adjusting the scales back to equilibrium is going to take quite some time, I doubt I'll have to worry about that for the foreseeable future.

Hmm. Note to self: Dust off the old in-case-of-singularity sanity maintenance plans. I'm going to need them.

I suppose I should wrap this up. Let's start over.

Magical Traits: Yes.

Perfect.

Author's Note

For more professionally presented aspect descriptions, see the magic worldbuilding thread in the group forum.

Not Quite Ambrosia, by FoME

Technically speaking, Sunset didn't need to eat anymore. She also didn't need to breathe, blink, eliminate waste, or perform several other once vital functions. However, she still did most of them as part of her effort to stay rooted to everyday existence and concerns. She'd only foregone two: sleep, because there just weren't enough hours in the day even when she had all twenty-four of them; and her reproductive cycle, because like Tartarus she was putting up with that when she didn't have to.

But eating? Eating was a joy, especially for friends of Pinkie Pie. And now she'd been able to recapture a long-lost part of that joy. Acquiring the materials had been simple enough, if pricey. To Sunset's knowledge, the finished product had never been assembled on Earth before. She took the pioneering creation in her hands and brought it to her mouth.

Bite.

Chew.

Appreciative hum.

Sunset swallowed the bite of her daffodil sandwich. "It's so nice to have my old taste buds back," she said to herself.

Author's Note

Not every story needs to give Sunset a headache as she babysits a planet full of nigh-suicidal apes. She deserves the occasional unquestionably happy moment.

Supernal, by ArtieStroke

"I really shouldn't do this..."

"Give yourself a break, you were young once too! You owe it to the little girl you used to be!"

"But it's so... juvenile."

"Oh, one building couldn't hurt, right?"

Celestia took in a deep breath, looking up at the office building in downtown Canterlot. It was easily fifteen stories.

"It's now or never, Celestia," she thought to herself. She crouched down, feeling the rays of the sun hit upon her skin. It was... empowering.

"Up, up..." She whispered, and jumped...

Luna flopped onto the couch, the local news already playing on the TV as she flipped through her phone to check emails. Another long school day, and she was beat.

"In local news," the anchor said with a sort of forced cheer, "It's not a bird, it's not a plane, but it appears that the last woman from Croupton was seen leaping over tall buildings in a single bound in downtown Canterlot today! The pictures of this mysterious non-Pegasus aspected woman clearing skyscrapers like an Olympic hurdler have been making their way across social media."

Luna paused what she was doing, a look of shock spreading across her face as a blurry photo of a certain aurora-haired woman clearing the Crystal Empire State Building superimposed itself next to the news anchor's head.

"All I have to say is train conductors better watch their backs before she decides to start racing locomotives for kicks! Back to you, Bob."

The scene changed back to the boring male anchor, who shuffled a few papers, "Thank you, Aerith. Next up! Trans-tribalism: Reborn in the wrong body? Stay tuned!"

Luna's jaw dropped as it cut to commercial. Slowly, she closed her mouth, before turning around on the couch.

"TIAAAAAAAA! YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!"

Author's Note

Thankfully, Celestia is more original Siegel-and-Shuster Superman than Silver Age asshat Superman. Don't expect her to toss planets or develop super-weaving powers anytime soon.

Reasonable Doubt, by Masterweaver

"Don't tell me you believe that magic tripe! It's aliens, man! It's all aliens!"

Meringue put down his sandwich and gave Trail Mix a flat look. "Aliens."

"Yeah, man! Like, how else are you going to explain all the psychic powers and the mutant mumbo jumbo? The galactic confederacy genebombed us man! There's no other explanation!"

"So, the whole magic spells thing—"

"Psychic nanobots, man!"

"... And that message from Sunset Shimmer—?"

"Pff. OBVIOUSLY she's just an AI that's focused on directing our culture to join the confederacy."

"You know something, Trail Mix? Sometimes, I just can't believe you."

"You've just got to keep an open mind, man!"

Chibi-Doosa, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"Hum-de-diddly dee, and now I've done laundry! Something something da-da-dee-da, something something doop-da-de-YAAAA!" Ditzy clutched her chest, gasping for a couple of seconds before letting out a relieved giggle. "Sunset! Whoa, you startled me. How did you—? No, wait, superpowers. Okay, new question, why are you here?" She took in the other girl's unamused face and crossed arms. "I mean... did I stumble over some quantum string that was important to reality or something?"

"Oh believe me," Sunset growled, "it's nothing you've done."

"...So... is it something I'm going to do? Because the emphasis there, on the past tense, kinda suggests..." Ditzy's voice trailed off as she noticed the other girl, one half her age, trying desperately to hide behind Sunset's legs. "Awwww." She knelt down, holding a hand out to the greyish-pink kid. "Hey there. Did Sunset Shimmer scare you? Don't worry, she's only scary when she's scared. It's alright. What's your name?"

"...I'm Dinky." The little kid cautiously took her hand. "Dinky Doo."

"Nice to meet you, Dinky! I'm Ditzy Doo." The gray girl shook her hand, taking in the odd gem in the child's forehead. "Now, I'm not going to say you did something to scare Sunset, but I'm pretty sure Sunset's going to tell me something got her mad. Do you know anything about that?"

"Um." Dinky cleared her throat. "Well... You see, it's... I mean, Mom loves me and all, but—"

"Somebody," Sunset deadpanned, "was apparently so busy with hyperdimensional operations that they came to the entirely logical conclusion that the best way to spend time with their daughter was to send her back to when she had the time to spend."

"Oh really?" Ditzy smiled innocently. "Well, until we find this young lady's mother, I'd be happy to look after her!"

Sunset looked at her flatly.

"...I mean it!"

Sunset looked at her flatly.

"...No, seriously, I'm great with kids!"

Sunset looked at her flatly.

Dinky cleared her throat. "My mom's name is Ditzy."

"Wow! That's such a coincidence! That's my name too!"

"You know what?" Sunset threw up her hands. "Not even going to push it. This works."

(FoME)

"Hi, Grandma."

Mistral Lace froze and very, very slowly turned to look at the little girl smiling up at her. "Excuse me?"

The girl, who did resemble Ditzy at that age to a frightening degree, smiled and said, "Time shenanigans," as though that would explain everything. Or, indeed, anything.

"There you are!" Ditzy herself emerged from the laundry room, hauling a basket full of clean clothes.

Mistral looked back and forth between the two. "Ditzy, is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Hmm? Oh, right." Ditzy knelt, put the basket down, and ruffled the younger girl's hair, eliciting a giggle. "I'll tell you all about it when I'm done screaming internally."

"Do you ever get used to this sort of thing?"

Ditzy's smile grew sardonic. "I go to Canterlot High, Mom. I've gotten used to this sort of thing."

Twilight opened her mouth, paused, shook her head, and said, "I have so many objections to this that I don't even know where to begin."

"Look, it's very simple," said Ditzy. "Have you ever seen Sailor Luna?"

"I know of it, mostly through pop cultural osmosis. Girls younger than us with legs like the principals' fight eldritch horrors in miniskirts." Twilight frowned. "Er, the girls wear the miniskirts, not the horrors."

Ditzy tilted her head from side to side. "Sometimes it's both."

"I'll take your word for it."

"The point is, I'm kind of in the middle of one of the plotlines. My daughter from the future is staying with us for a while because apparently I'll think that's a good idea." Ditzy hummed to herself. "Or just to keep to the whole 'acausal loop' thing going. I could definitely see me doing that."

Twilight held up a hand. "We appear to be moving into a whole new area of headaches."

"Right, let's try to focus on this one. So, since I'm apparently Moon Bunny now, what with my blue and red best friends, I need a talking animal mascot, and I heard about how your dog can talk now."

"Yeees." Twilight drew out the word as her face twisted into further incredulity. "Principally about squirrels and the chasing thereof, though he is taking an interest in nonhuman sapients' rights. And you want to borrow him just to fulfill some narrative trope?"

"Well, that or ask you to do it to something else."

Several half-formed words escaped from Twilight's mouth before she shook her head and took a deep breath. "Before I begin a very long dissertation on all of the things wrong with that, I should ask, would you be satisfied if I simply told you 'no'?"

Ditzy thought about this for a moment. She shrugged. "Yeah, probably. Besides, it should really be a cat."

"Again, I'll take your word for it."

Intriguing Indifference, by SaintAbsol

The man sighed as he sat in the airport terminal, leaning back in the uncomfortable seats as he watched the board overhead for any information about his eventual boarding time. It was all he could do, given the unexpected delay and him not wanting to dig through his luggage for a book or the like

And it gave him something else to focus on besides the fact a large number of people were staring and wondering why a man with the pegasus aspect was waiting to board a plane at all.

"Well, isn't this an odd sight?"

The man jumped as he didn't remember anyone sitting next to him, nor could he recall when the strangely... mundane-looking man had sat down. The stranger's yellow and red eyes had an unnerving gleam to them as they appraised him, making the man shift about in his seat. "Can I... help you?"

"Just curious, is all," the stranger said. "I think you're well aware as to what."

The man sighed, running a hand through his two-tone, white and rust colored hair. "Yeah, you and everyone else," he grumbled. The man gave a halfhearted glare at the various other would-be passengers, who hastily pretended they weren't look at him. "Is it really that hard to believe? I mean, I can't be the only guy with wings who flies on a plane."

"No, but the ones that do that usually have some variant of acrophobia; and I can tell that's not the case for you."

"How?"

The stranger's eyes seemed to glow as he gave a crooked smile. "I can."

The man opened his mouth, but just shook his head. "Whatever..."

"So," the stranger continued. "Why aren't you flying on your own?"

The man groaned. "Why should I?"

The stranger raised an eyebrow, but remained smiling. "Because you can? And you wouldn't have to deal with this delay, or the outrageous fees for your luggage, or the ticket itself."

"And I can just walk there if I really wanted. I still don't see why I should do something just because I can."

The stranger put a hand to his chin, still smiling. "Well, then why shouldn't you?"

The man shrugged. "I just... don't like to fly."

"You feel like your aspect is wrong?"

The man shook his head. "No, I don't really care what aspect I have, not like I'd get much use out of any one in particular."

That seemed to catch the stranger's interest. "So... if you had... say... the unicorn aspect, you wouldn't see much use for telekinesis?"

"Last I checked, I still had hands."

"And the earth aspect?"

The man shrugged. "I don't do a lot of heavy lifting or work outdoors or the like. So... yeah, I can't say I'd get much use out of it either."

"Interesting..." The man rubbed at his chin, his eyes gleaming again. "You could be interesting to keep an eye on..."

"You're incredibly creepy, you know that?"

The stranger chuckled, lightly clapping his hands together. "And blunt to boot, I'm looking forward to this."

"To wh—"

The board overhead flipped to show new times, and a call rang out over the PA system. "Now boarding: Flight 217, Canterlot to Whinniapolis."

The man blinked as he heard his flight called, and grabbed his luggage. "Look, I have to ge—" And he stopped short again as he realized the stranger was no longer seated next to him, nor did he appear to be anywhere in the immediate area. "...Ugh," the man groaned. "I miss when things were simple..."

Author's Note

Meet Coffee Swirl, the man who doesn't care about the world changing.

School of Guilds, by Bardic_Knowledge and FoME

School of Guilds, by Bardic_Knowledge and FoME

(Bardic_Knowledge)

"So, why are we here?" asked Sonata.

"Well, my dear, as part of my ongoing efforts to catalogue the new ways of the world-slash-universe, I've come to discover that this one campus has more magical diversity than any one country you'd care to name. Not counting the one we're in right now, of course."

Sonata pouted for half a second before finding the sign that would tell her their exact location.

It was as Discord had said. Almost everywhere she looked, Sonata saw someone who could be considered quite strange, even to an ex-immortal half-siren like herself. There were tree people, mossy people, froggy people, people who had to duck to walk through doors because their heads scraped the ceiling, a couple guys completely covered in fire, the list went on.

But before they could really get into studying the student bodies, they had to speak to the administration.

"Hopefully, Niv is actually in this week. He's usually off in his personal lab doing some project or other. We actually collaborated once. Either way, Vice Principal Beleren should be in. He takes everything seriously."

(FoME)

"Ugh..."

A familiar voice came in all too clearly, Sonata's ears capturing the sound no matter what her headache might have to say about. "Subject is reviving. Unconsciousness lasted one hour, fifty-seven minutes, eleven point three-eight seconds. How are you feeling, Sonata?"

"Shh..." She winced as even her own shush made her skull pound. She tried to open her eyes, flinched, at kept them at slits to block out the blinding glare blasting out of the NAHTI's overhead lights.

To his credit, Mr. Discord did at least try to quiet down. "Subject appearing to exhibit symptoms similar to a hangover."

After a few more moments of adjustment, Sonata sat up on the bench on which she'd been passed out and croaked, "I almost completely dried out once back in Equestria. I still felt better than I do now."

"So that's a 'no' on the synthetic negative energy, then."

Sonata tried nodding and stopped once she started getting feedback. "Definitely."

Mr. Discord drummed his fingers against thin air, making actual drum noises. "Drat. Well, I'll get in touch with Niv. He's always been good for ideas."

Sonata's eyes widened. "Niv?"

"Niv-Mizzet. Principal of Ravnica High? Fascinating fellow; might even be smarter than me. We were roommates after ol' Smoozy got expelled; long story there, don't ask."

"That place is real?"

"We went there just last week. Don't you remember?" Mr. Discord leaned in. "Actually, do you remember?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do now." Sonata recalled the vice principal, an exhausted looking unicorn-aspected man with skin close to hers trying to do four things at once when they'd met. "Sorry, just a crazy dream."

Author's Note

Remember Ravnica High? That never stopped being a thing. Ravnica's in an area with a very high immigrant population, hence the different naming conventions.

Seriously, don't ask about Mr. Discord's first roommate. It's a long, unpleasant, and disgusting story.

Iconoclast, by SaintAbsol

"That was the scene outside the Rich mansion, as the newly formed PAULDRONS society sta—" The television was switched off. It was one of the older models, lacking an internet connection or even a processor to function as a computer, magical or mundane, and wasn't even a flat-screen. By the standards of most teenagers in the world, it was practically an antique.

And one that stopped functioning as the remote was thrown through its screen.

Coffee Swirl, a pegasus aspect who cared so little for flight he'd barely used his wings since they'd appeared on his back, slowly settled back into his chair. He was already regretting having thrown his remote like that, but he really couldn't help it at this point. The fact he still got stared at for choosing to keep his feet on the ground was one thing, and easily ignored, but a special interest group advocating for equality to animals and even rocks?! There was just a point where he simply couldn't take it anymore.

"World's gone to Tartarus," he muttered under his breath, glancing toward the window as the light slowly started to dim in the approaching evening. "And it's not hard to tell who's to blame..."

The sun was well and truly gone from the sky as the community center locked up for the night. The janitor on duty yawned hugely as he checked one of the locks; it had been a long day, made no easier by the 'church' that had taken over one of the rooms.

While Sunset Shimmer regularly expressed her wishes to not be worshiped as a deity, several makeshift shrines and temples had started to pop up in public settings. The one in the community center's common area just happened to be one of the larger ones, complete with a few ever present chairs serving as pews around sizeable sculpture of her icon. It wasn't much, but it served the purpose the Shimmerists intended for it, a place to sing Sunset's praises.

Dusty Sweep had little time for such things, being only a nominal Harmonist before things had changed and only noting the changes to the world in that his back didn't hurt nearly as much as it used to when he lifted the barrels of cleaner off the shelves in the back. He didn't hold anything against the girl, but he could find better things to do than sit an worship someone who didn't want to be worshiped.

Dusty suddenly jumped as he heard something rustle near him, grabbing a sizeable stick from the ground and pointing it at the source. "Who's there?" His eyes darted around, still adjusting to the dark of the night. "I-I'm armed, I swear!" The rustling intensified for a moment, before a racoon scurried across the path, pausing only to look at him before disappearing into the night once more. Dusty blinked, than slowly lowed the stick with a shake of his head. "I'm gettin' paranoid," he muttered, turning to finish locking up.

Then something shattered within and he practically tore the door of its hinges as he took off inside.

More and more doors were thrown open as he rushed through the building, looking for who could have broken whatever that was and trying to figure out what they wanted. There wasn't any money kept on the premises, nor were there all that many things of value to be found in the first place. That meant it had to be some sort of vandal, but what could they-

Dusty's train of thought derailed as he reached the 'chapel' room, and found the sculpture of Sunset Shimmer's icon smashed to bits on the floor. The room's window was open, apparently having been jimmied open from the outside. Dusty swore loudly as he rushed over and stuck his head out, just barely catching a glimpse of someone as they vaulted over the nearby fence, a faint magical glow visible on their back.

Coffee Swirl panted as he ran, his feet pounding the hard pavement as he tried to stay away from lights as much as possible.

He couldn't believe he'd done something so unbelievably stupid and petty! Cops were going to be showing up any moment, possibly literally if they had the unicorn aspect, and the skies weren't safe even if he did want to fly. There was no way he was getting out of this with anything short of a miracle!

And, right on cue, a grey van skidded to a stop, almost running him over as it bounced up onto the sidewalk.

The window was open, letting him see a girl wearing a hoodie that did a remarkable job of concealing her face. "Get in," she said in a no-nonsense tone. "Now, before the police get here!"

Coffee Swirl didn't need telling twice, and just as well too, as she started pulling away before he'd even managed to close the door. "Who the hell are you?"

A few strands of red and yellow hair slipped out from beneath the hood as the girl slammed the gas down. "Someone else who isn't exactly thrilled with the boss-lady."

In a house that no longer adhered to the rules of normal time and space, Johnathan Quincy Discord sipped a glass of chocolate milk with a crooked smile on his face. "Nothing quite like watching a plan come together," he thought out loud. "Now then... just a few more pieces to move, and everything will be in place."

Author's Note

I've come to like human Sunset. The universe never intended her to exist, but here she is anyway. (And by "the universe," I mean me. :derpytongue2:)

Of course, trying to spite Sunset by vandalizing one of her shrines is a bit like trying to annoy your neighbor by weeding his garden, but I'm certainly not going to tell Coffee that.

Crystal Clear Waters, by SaintAbsol

Everfree Lake was still in the night.

Its waters were as glass, reflecting the midnight moon high above.

The noises of the forest were unnaturally faint, and only growing quieter as the midnight hour approached ever faster. Finally, right as the moon was directly overhead, all natural sounds stopped, and bubbles began to rise to the surface of the lake.

More and more came, rising with greater speed and intensity until the center of the lake frothed like it was boiling. Suddenly, from the center of the bubbling mass, a humanoid figure emerged with a guttural yell; it was clad in what looked to be a half-rotted leather jacket, a waterlogged shirt visible beneath it, and a chipped and cracked hockey mask that seemed almost melded to its face. A hand that was indistinguishable from a rotten glove raised a machete as it loosed another bellow into the night air...

And was impaled through the eye socket of the mask by a shining golden arrow.

Sunset Shimmer lowered her hand as she watched the figure sink back into the depths of the lake, turning to the siblings who owned the camp. "That should take care of him for a while, but I'm still working on a way to get rid of things like this permanently."

Gloriosa Daisy nodded, nervously fingering her flower necklace. "So... the camp will be safe to open now, right?"

"Oh, yeah; that arrow will keep him down for at least a year and a half. I may not be able to kill things like him yet, but I can at least make it hard for them to come back."

Timber Spruce just looked at at the lake, the final remnants of the frothing from earlier finally fading away. "Urban Legends," he said, shaking his head. "I almost can't believe it, even with magic."

"Yeah..." Sunset nervously rubbed at the back of her head. "Turns out, if enough people believe in something, even a horror story, it technically counts as mythology. And when there's enough mythology for something, and just the right combination of magic, you can get all sorts of weird things. It's what makes these things so hard to kill for good; since, well, most horror stories don't have a way to kill the monster."

Both of the siblings nodded at that, the sounds of the forest slowly returning to their natural nocturnal levels.

Sunset slipped her hands in her pockets and rocked back on her heels. "Anyway... if there's nothing else, I should probably get going. I may not actually need to sleep anymore, but I'd still like to get a few hours in before school."

Gloriosa shook her head. "No, we should be good now that he's taken care of; have a nice night."

Sunset smiled, and simply vanished, leaving the two of them alone in the night.

Timber yawned and stretched a bit, finally taking his eyes off the lake and back to his sister. "Well, that was easier than I expected. Guess you were right about calling her in."

"I told you it was the right thing to do." Gloriosa tapped her brother on the chest with a smirk. "And you wanted to actually try and fight him."

Timber shrugged. "Call it stereotypical male bravado. I figured we kinda had to." He paused, biting his lip nervously. "You think we should have mentioned... you know?"

Gloriosa tilted her head, then blinked and started to chuckle. "You mean, that old story mom and dad used to tell us to keep us from wandering off into the forest?" She eventually reached the point of full on laughter as she doubled over. "I think Sunset has more pressing issues than something no one outside of our family has even heard of."

Timber eventually joined his sister in laughing, though not as heartily as she did. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. There's probably scarier things out there than Gaea Everfree." Timber chuckled once more, heading back toward the counselor's cabin to get some sleep in himself.

"Yeah," Gloriosa said as she followed. "Probably."

With his back to her, Timber missed as Gloriosa's eyes became pools of black tar with glowing embers for pupils within them, if only for a moment.

Author's Note

Canonicity's pretty darn iffy on this one. The necessary belief threshold for a meme to incarnate itself is probably higher than most urban legends will hit. Probably.

Absentee Lords and Ladies, by Masterweaver

For so many years, they had hidden. Hidden from history, from humans, from help and horror. And then...

She.

Even if she did not know of they, and so did not speak, it was not hard to see. A mere glance at humans, and the shift in the world...

Whispers in a thousand thousand places unmapped began to clamor and echo and sing.

The old games were afoot again, but new rules came with them. And now.... now humans were playing too.

They were cautious, of course—who wouldn't be?

But it was time. Time to emerge.

Time to become part of the world again.

"Iron? Or cold iron?"

"Not iron, definitely. Maybe cold iron. They call it aluminum."

"Hmm. What is contained within?"

"Sugary water, with flavors and chemical treatment."

"...what."

"They've found a way to... extract it. Reforge it. It's so common, this is a disposable drink container. Don't shake, the drink froths."

"Change... is to be expected, I suppose. It has been a long time since magic sang, and never has it sung like this."

"There is more. They have... I do not know how to explain it. It is like starfolk magic, only... not magic."

"Not magic?"

"Not how we describe it. If magic were to fall again, it would not be effected. It sings now too, with the new magic and old, but..."

"How common is this?"

"Very common. Households have it whisper through the walls. Carts without beasts move swiftly across great distances. Tiny bricks shout across the void to floating watchers. Sometimes this lets the bricks talk to each other."

"Have they... found the starfolk?"

"I cannot say, it is unclear. But they did make a journey to the moon and back, before magic sang again."

"...if something is this common, there must be knowledge of it in their libraries. Take care, and find us the words of this not magic starfolk magic."

"There is..."

"Yes?"

"There is... an invisible library. Knowledge for all, from all, accessed with not magic, and... now that magic sings, there are creatures in it. But it is common enough."

"How trustworthy is this knowledge?"

"Oh, it depends. I call it a library, but it is more a library of libraries. Some are lies. Some are truth. I could... bring you a gate, but..."

"Iron and cold iron."

"Contained in strange false bone, but... yes. And rare is the gatekeeper that does not demand money. Or proof that we lie not of ourself."

"I see... perhaps take another's gate, then."

"It could be done."

"Good. And have you, at least, found why magic sings again?"

"...The Belled Sorcerer left his gate open. Magic from his world poisoned ours. Then another Sorcerer stepped in... and now the magics are blended, and she keeps the world together as it heals."

"Does she know of us?"

"...I cannot say. I cannot say."

Author's Note

Magic hadn't always been as skittish as it was before Sunset reached out to it. Once this world was a bit more magical... and then it suddenly wasn't. This came as quite a shock to those who'd depended on it.

Almost as much as when it came back.

For more on the starfolk, see Masterweaver's Crossworlds Guardian, Sailor Orbital!

S/M.I.L.E. Please, by The wind king

Computers hummed and sang, strange technological songs comprised of pure information floating through the air far faster than any melody really had a right to go. Florescent lights buzzed in the tiled ceiling, their harsh light burning away any shadows in misused corners or under overlooked desks. Footsteps echoed and built in such as small space giving the impression that any unseen observer could turn around and find themself observed.

It was in all exceedingly busy for a room that last week had been a garage, The Man with a Shadow For a Face thought to himself, as the last glowing embers of a cigarette dangled from his lips.

Gnarled and scarred fingers plucked the glowing tube from his lips, before he stubbed it out against the hoof-like fingernails on his other hand. The act didn't even draw a flinch from him, even as the people around him did so, the bustle hiccuping at the sound of embers meeting 'flesh' before everyone turned back to their tasks.

The Man watched for a second more, a mixture of pride and worry on his nonexistent features, before he stepped smartly forwards into the bustling activity which parted around him, whether in reverence or fear he didn't rightly know; so many of the agents here were new to the task, a sad necessity given how the world had changed, was changing even still, and would continue to change with the events yet to unfold. This lack of knowledge galled him as he strode the short distance over to a mop of pink and blue hair above a cream face which was twisted in distaste as report after report flitted across her monitor.

"Agent Drops."

The teenager didn't jump. She didn't shout or squeak or even flinch at the Man's gravelly voice. She merely sighed and twisted her chair as to face him. "Yes, Director?"

"What is the progress on the S/M.I.L.E database?"

"Oh it's just going great, Director." The woman threw her own thick-nailed hands in the air before pulling a sheet of paper out of one the piles on her desk. "Ever since the 'Don't Believe in Monsters or They'll Get You' vlog hit the Shimmerists' site we've had a vicious upswing in monster sightings, urban legend renewals, alien 'abductions', and and conspiracy theorists going on and on about how the government is running some sort of 'monster preserve on an unmarked unlisted island in the middle of the Harmonic Ocean, the Saddlantic Ocean, and the Bermula Triangle."

"And what do you actually have for me?"

"Too many hoaxes to name." Agent Drops sighed before passing the sheet to the director. "However we've had agents in all of these cities reporting in the following."

"Candyman in Chicolto; Birde and Hare in Marenburgh; Jack the Ripper, Springheel Jack, and the Plague Rat all in Londonk; the Sandpoint Devil in, surprise surprise, Sandpoint; numerous reporting of Black Shuck in the Porkshire Dales, the White Mare worldwide?" The director raised his 'eyes' from the densely packed list. "This paints a very bleak picture, Agent Drops."

"And more reports keep on coming in, those are simply the ones that've come in from other agents. There's no telling how many civilians have wandered on something legitimate and not stumbled back out." Another ding of an arriving message rang from the computer's speaker as the overworked teenager swung back to the glowing screen. "If you'll excuse me, sir, I'm too busy at the moment. I'll have a report on your desk by tomorrow morning, Harmony willing."

"I'll see what I can do to lighten your load, Agent Drops. In Vigilo Confido"

"In Vigilo Confido, sir."

Author's Note

If canon, this is a few years in the future. I have something different in mind for Bonbon... though I will note that she was once known by Sweetie Drops in this universe. Then Daddy made a mistake at work, and the Witness Protection Program swept in...

But that's a story for another day.

And for those wondering, S/M.I.L.E. stands for Supernatural/Monstrous Intelligence Listing of Earth.

The Seven Bonds, by Masterweaver

The Seven Bonds
A traditional Breezie song, as translated by P-Fluttershy of Cloudsdale

Remember ye the seven ways the soul can twist and bind
Ne'er forget the truth of things where'r wence your path wind
Each has power, each has give, and learn them well you must
No matter the power of the ones to whom ye give the trust.

Earth tis hard to convince, and harder still to change
Foundation of all that one is, do not ye rearrange
Save for strength, for purest grant, for singer of the land
And even then, only grant to those with gentle hand.

Water flows through us all, no matter where we shall go
The greatest hearts can ride the waves and alter fate's very flow
Ware, though, lest ye forget the fickle core of life
And ever find yourself caught in another's strife.

Fire roars and twists and burns, ne'er stopping in its path
Till at last its feed is done and ends its nameless wrath
These pacts be brief, and quickly made, never do otherwise
Lest ye become the very thing your brother now despise.

Air binds us all to common realm, a joy in every breath
And those without air or its bind shall slowly suffer death
Yet soft is she, so gentle be, and only reach you out
When the need for healing is around with not a single doubt.

Song and laughter, screams and cries, the shadows of the night
Bring hope and fear, doom and joy, wonderment and fright
Wary are many of this power, and wary they should be
For the greatest secrets is what in truth they'll see.

Light and color may seem, to you, as calm as summer's day
And there is some truth to those who think this way
But ne'er forget that seeing one may blind you to another
So only take this path for dearest friend or brother.

And so at last we come to this, the highest of the self
And I say never bind! For goodness or for wealth!
Thought and magic and your core are one the same and true
If this one you give away, no longer shall you be you.

Around you see the many, the choices they have made,
The twists their bindings gave and the games that they have played
Go ye, child, to one realm or other, and choose your bindings well
To greatest glory triumph! Or to utter ruin be fell.

Author's Note

You may be wondering what this could possibly have to do with the Oversaturated World. Keep reading and you'll find out.

Breeze's Bargain, by Masterweaver

"Man. My life sucks."

"Do tell."

"Huh?" Zephyr looked up, only belatedly noticing the beautiful girl leaning against a wall. "Oh! Hey. Wow, I must be really out of it, to miss something as lovely as you."

"Oh, I know. The woes of reality can blind us all." The girl's face was sympathetic. "Why, just this morning, I found somebody had gathered all my things up into a single bag!"

"You got kicked out of your house?" Zephyr gasped. "That's terrible!"

"It would be, if I hadn't had the good fortune to run into somebody who could help me." The girl pouted. "You can... help me, right?"

Zephyr sighed. "I'd like too, but... look, I left my sister hanging, and after that my mom's been super lock-down. I can't even have my smart-phone, just a ten-year-old flipout." He kicked a rock. "It's... it's a long story."

"Well... so long as we're suffering, we can suffer together." The girl breezed off the wall. "And who knows? With magic, many possibilities open up to us."

"Heh, yeah." Zephyr adjusted his shirt casually. "A lot of new opportunities. It's... it's a shame I can't really take advantage of them."

"Because of your mother's restraints?"

"No..." He slumped. "Look. Lady, you really don't want to be with me. I'm... a failure. There, I said it. Everything I've tried, I... I dropped it after a while. I find a talent, and then I just... I just have no skill."

"You lack conviction. Purpose..." The girl slipped a sympathetic hand around his shoulder. "One of the quieter tragedies of this day and age."

"Yeah. I wish I could help you, but—"

"Perhaps," the girl mused, "we could help each other."

"What?"

"I know a spell, a spell to give you a stronger heart. A will to move mountains. If I were to cast it upon you, perhaps... perhaps you could grant me residence in your home?"

"I... I dunno. I still live with my parents—"

"I need very little space. Surely there is a place that is used only for storage?"

"Well..." Zephyr frowned. "I mean... there's the shed where dad keeps his leaf collection. He's got leaves from all over the world--but--"

"I promise," the girl purred, "he wouldn't even know I was there."

"We don't even know each other's names!"

"Hmm." The girl pursed her lips. "...Winter Lights. That is what you may call me."

"I'm Zephyr Breeze."

"And it is a pleasure to meet you." She spun around, looking into his eyes. "Now... do we have an agreement?"

"I..." Zephyr winced. "This won't... hurt, or do weird things to me, right?"

"Oh, trust me, you won't even notice anything besides your newfound confidence."

After a moment, he nodded and stuck out his hand. "Count me in."

"Our pact is sealed."

Raresearch & Dashvelopment, by Masterweaver

"So what is it you wanted me to see, Rarity?"

"Well, Twilight, I thought you might be interested in this. You see, I caught the video of those Wonderbolts dissolving that hurricane, and I asked myself 'Why don't they do more weather management, like handling clouds?'"

"Clouds are too high in the atmosphere. Even if they could fly up there, they couldn't—"

"Couldn't breathe, yes, darling, I did research. However, there are air tanks and airtight suits in the world already. Scuba gear, space suits, all that. Rainbow, do you have it on yet?"

"Give me a moment! It's hard to adjust!"

"You're having Rainbow test this? Rarity, the feathers have to be exposed to the air to generate a lightbow!"

"That is the common wisdom, yes, but! The lightbow is a magical construct. So I thought to myself, if there was a way to transfer magic through a fabric, without transferring air, then it should be possible to make a skin-tight suit which allows featherfolk to fly!"

"Okay! I think I got it!"

"...What's that collar Rainbow's wearing?"

"That is my proof of concept. Twilight, behold: The thaumographic lightbow valve!"

"Huh. That's... actually pretty impressive. Rainbow, you doing okay there?"

"Yeah. It's a little tight, and to be honest I'm having to put more effort in to hover than I usually do. But I'm doing fine."

"Of course, we haven't done any stress testing--how long it lasts, how fast she can go, all that. I know that there's quite a bit of detail in recording that data, and I thought--"

"Right. I need all your notes on how you made this, and then I need to plan some experiments. If it's atmospherically enclosed and temperature resistant, that could theoretically enable you to fly to space! I wonder if this only works for pegasus aspected people. If you could make a headband..."

Author's Note

Pegasus aspects can project their wings through anything that's sufficiently air-permeable, including most fabrics. Silk presents problems. Pressure suits? Forget about it... unless the fabric's magically conductive.

Botanical Supplements, by Masterweaver

Fluttershy yawned, her voice just a little out of sync with her vocal cords, and swung her legs out from her sheets with an audible creak. She idly scratched some twigs from her hair as she stood, eyes twitching underneath still closed lids while her feet dragged her slowly to the bathroom. The sound of water falling managed to trigger a reaction, and she blearily let the light in to see her hand had turned the shower on without any conscious decision from her. An inexorable groan marked her dragging her feet into the chamber, faintly smiling as the water began to pool around her gnarled toes.

Slowly, her mind grumbled to more and more activity. Her hands went to the unseeded flowerpot resting next to the shampoos, scrubbing the soil within over the rough skin of her feet. She giggled as a flower in her hair began to bloom, and twirled her long hair in the falling stream. The bathrobe she wore slipped off when she remembered it, letting her scrub her skin with the special soap Tree Hugger had made. Idle song, not unlike that of a bird, began to pour from her lips as she tended to herself.

When the last of the soil caked around her toes had swirled down the drain, Fluttershy finally turned off the water and reached out for a towel. She paused as she walked by the mirror, tilting her head at the petals atop her head. Her fingers reached up to it... and then, with a whimsical smile, she lowered them. With a towel around her she walked into the hall, humming some odd Coltic tune.

Author's Note

Definitely iffy on this one's canonicity.

Not How to Make Skooma, by FoME

Crystal Prep's library was, like all other aspects of it, the best money could buy. Shelves filled more floor space than most apartments, and every computer was top of the line. Not that that counted for much; the web browsers didn't have a blacklist but a whitelist of permitted websites, and every potential new addition had to get Principal Cinch's approval. As such, it was one of the few high school libraries in the country where students still did a considerable amount of research with physical books.

Two of them sat side by side, each reading a voluminous text. After several minutes, Moondancer cleared her throat. "So."

"Yes?" Sugarcoat said with signature sharpness.

"I heard you went to see Twilight Sparkle the other day." It would've been a carefree tone had it come from someone who hadn't once dismissed chitchat as what lesser minds did instead of think.

"Through Lemon Zest, I assume."

"She was loudly scorning everyone for not participating and getting to see, and I quote, 'the kawaii-as-balls shoujo-ai up ins.'"

Sugarcoat put down her book, her brow furrowed. "Translation?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It's why I brought it up."

"That and your crush on Twilight was vastly more obvious than mine."

Moondancer blushed, all but shoving her face into her book. "I don't know what you're talking about."

An indigo shape came closer in her peripheral vision. "You even copied her hairstyle."

Moondancer brought a hand to her bun, secured with an elastic band through which she'd threaded her crescent-moon icon. "I thought it looked nice."

"That's certainly one reason," said Sugarcoat. "Why are you bringing this up?"

"Well..." Moondancer put down the book, took a deep breath, and faced Sugarcoat. "How did it go?"

Sugarcoat scowled more deeply than usual and looked away. "She wasn't interested."

Moondancer bit her lip. "B-because of orientation, or—"

"I don't know if they've made it official yet, but she's basically dating God."

It took a few moments for Moondancer to process that. She wilted. "Oh."

Sugarcoat shrugged. "It's Twilight Sparkle. I don't think anyone at Crystal Prep was ever in her league."

"I don't think any of us were even playing the same sport." The girls shared a sigh. After a few moments, Moondancer said, "So, if you're not doing anything this weekend..."

Sugarcoat gave her a long, appraising look. She finally spoke as Moondancer felt her cheeks redden. "Start using conditioner and we'll talk."

Author's Note

Because MoonSugar.

Re-Markable, by Masterweaver

As the baby dragon rushed past her to his own tiny throne, the pinkish purple unicorn looked about the room and swallowed as the door swung shut behind her.

"I know there's no excuse for what I did, but I want you all to know that I'm ready for whatever punishment you think is fair."

The purple alicorn in one of the thrones smiled sympathetically. "I've been thinking a lot about how badly Equestria fared without just one group of friends. Because even when one friendship dies, the results can be disastrous."

"I know first-hoof how true that can be..." The unicorn kicked at the floor, eyes downcast.

"And that's why I've asked you here. If you're willing to learn, I'm willing to teach you what I know. You'll have the power to—"

There was a rapid pounding on the door. "Hey! Princess Twilight! Are you in there?!"

The alicorn blinked. "Excuse me a second." She stood and walked over, opening it. "Oh! Hello, Twilight—"

"Sunset says this world underwent temporal fragmentation recently so she sent me to check and make sure that everything's okay—"

"Oh, don't worry, that situation's been dealt with. Mostly. As a matter of fact, we're in the middle of wrapping it up right now."

"Really? You don't mind if I sit in, do you?"

Twilight hemmed. "Well, most of the magical and technical matters have been handled, and what's left is... kind of..." She rolled a hoof, trying to find a good word. "It's... it's a princess thing."

"Politics?" The voice on the other side of the door sighed. "Well.... can you give me your notes on the whole thing? I can head to the library and look over them, see if there's anything we should be worried about."

"Ah, well, I mean, I can see why you'd be interested, but—"

"You did take notes, right?"

"Like you said. Politics. Classified. I don't... It's really complicated and I really am in the middle of something important. I'll have to look through the files to see what I can tell you--"

"Alright, alright. Just... look, as soon as you're done with that, we really need to talk. Sunset's worried about the seven other worlds."

"The— What?"

"The other worlds. The ones that sprung up when your timeline fragmented. She's not sure, but it's possible they all connect to the portal on Earth—"

"OOOOOOOOOOKAY! That is important. Good to know. Look, go wait in the library, and I super promise I will explain everything when I'm done here. Okay? Okay." Twilight shut the door quickly, turning back to the assembled ponies. "So! As I was saying—"

"Was that some sort of mutant minotaur?" Starlight asked. "Did you have some mutant minotaur baby?"

"AS. I. WAS. SAYING." Twilight cleared her throat, schooling her expression into a polite smile. "Starlight Glimmer, I'd like for you to become my student and learn the magic of friendship."

"What was that she said about other worlds? Do all those other timelines still exist?!"

"Magic of friendship!" Twilight shouted. "So you don't have to be alone anymore! What do you say?"

"Sweet Celestia, what have I done?!"

Twilight sighed, dragging a hoof down her face. "Okay, Starlight? Breathe. This isn't nearly as bad as the time I almost destroyed the universe."

Author's Note

Oh, that's why the Map wanted Twilight and Twilight at Twilight's castle. :raritywink:

Also, I have an answer to how the splintered timelines and mirror portal interact. You can read it here.

Long May He Rein, by SaintAbsol

"I'd still like to know why the shift occurs in one direction, but not the other."

"That's a problem for another day; besides, you said it yourself, this is just a social visit."

"Right... a social visit, involving a trans-dimensional portal and a meeting with a dei—"

"Twilight..."

Princess Twilight, now in the shape of a unicorn-aspect human, frowned at Sunset from across the lunch table. The rest of their friends, including her doppelganger, were seated at the same table, having conversations of their own (with a full mouth in the case of Rainbow Dash) as the two of them discussed things from their respective sides of the mirror. "Look, Sunset," she said. "I realize you don't like the word, but it's objectively what you are right now. Even if you didn't have a direct connection to this reality, you're still far more powerful that the vast majority of others, have some level of at least quasi-immortality, and—whether you want them or not—a group that worships you; you are a deity, Sunset."

"I know..." Sunset groaned, her head coming down to meet the table with a dull 'THUNK'. "Just... I don't like to think to hard on it; I'm trying to stay grounded." She eventually brought her arms up to rest her head on them. "Can't we talk about something else?"

Twilight still frowned, but eventually sighed and decided to honor her friend's request. "Well, if we can't talk about that, and you don't want to talk about magic... there is one thing that's been bothering me about this world."

Sunset glanced toward the rest of their friends, who were all doing a remarkable job of pretending they weren't listening now. "Well, I'm hardly an expert, but I guess it's better than nothing."

Twilight hesitated. "Well... it's like back in Equestria, only... there, there's a reason for it, given... well, the dominant species and all, but here... it... well, it's sorta..." She groaned. "Why are there so many naming conventions that seem to relate back to ponies?"

The entire table blinked.

"Or... I suppose you call them... 'horses', but..."

Sunset took over. "That word is spelled with a 'W' back in Equestria," she explained to the other group. It wasn't long before the light of understand sparkled in their eyes, and an uncomfortable silence followed. "But... now that you mentioned it, I never really noticed before, but you're right, it is a little—"

"It's because of Glitterhoof."

Sunset and Princess Twilight both looked toward Pinkie Pie. "Glitterhoof?"

"Yeppers!" The Party Girl smiled. "Waaaaaaaaaaaay back when Scandaneighvia was still called 'Norway', there was this horse that showed up right when the king was having a tough time. He had these really sparkly hooves, and everyone started referring to him as Glitterhoof; the king took a liking to him and started riding him into battle and almost always won when he did. When the king got old, he ended up naming the horse as his heir, since him and his sons didn't get along."

Princess Twilight's face grew entirely deadpan. "You're making this up..."

"Nah, she's tellin' the truth." Rainbow Dash finally managed to swallow the mess of food she'd been chowing down on. "It's the one part of history class I paid attention to. Glitterhoof was crowned after the king died, and the sons started a rebellion. They would have probably killed the horse and taken the crown back, if the king's general hadn't decided that even a horse would make a better king than any of them and started riding Glitterhoof into battle himself.

"The sons weren't all that smart, so their rebellion didn't last more than a few years. And, by then, Glitterhoof had kinda endeared himself to most people, meaning that more and more of them were okay with having a horse for a ruler and a few towns even started changing their names to some sort of horse-pun. Plus... well, he had a lot of really strange luck while he reigned. Pretty much everything seemed to go right for his country; good weather, good crop yields, and the citizens generally prospered. It got to the point that, when Glitterhoof died, they actually crowned a colt he'd sired as the next king."

Twilight and Sunset both openly gaped as Rainbow Dash, of all people, started to explain about how this horse-run kingdom went on to, mostly out of luck and the 'king's' court using some creative politics, ended up encompassing a good portion of the world, complete with their horse-themed naming conventions for both towns and (later) citizens. To the point that, even when it finally fell, the naming conventions stuck around to the modern day. By the end of it, both of them could only stare dumbly for several minutes.

"This..." Sunset finally started. "This is a joke... it has to be a joke."

The human Twilight gave Sunset an incredulous look. "You've lived here for years, and you never learned the history?"

"It was never a huge priority. I usually just stole answer keys to pass most of my tests back when I was... less nice."

Princess Twilight's mouth worked for another moment, before she finally managed to speak once more. "I... you... how do you know this much about it?" She pointed a fist at Rainbow Dash, forgetting about her fingers for a moment.

Rainbow Dash just smirked. "Cause I'm named after one of Glitterhoof's successors, duh!"

Author's Note

Inspired by this fascinating game of Crusader Kings 2. I'm not saying this is canon... but I'm not saying it isn't.

Also, by this point, the universe has stabilized to the point where pony Twilight can come visit. Call it about a year later.

Cry to the Heavens, by Masterweaver, Jenna Cipher, and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"Ow!" Sunset frowned, leaning down. "An orange? Who would throw an orange at me?"

"I'M RELEVANT!"

She turned to see a man she'd never met dancing on a rooftop next to a crate of oranges.

After a moment, she shrugged, tossed the orange to her other hand, and continued walking.

(Jenna Cipher)

"And the guy just threw an orange at you?"

"Yep"

"Well... Who was he?"

Sunset paused for a moment, a small frown appearing on her face, before she turned back to her friend and responded.

"I have no idea Applejack... I have no idea."

(FoME)

Sunset thought nothing of it until the next day.

"I'M RELEVANT!"

"I'M RELEVANT!"

"I'M MORE RELEVANT!"

Oranges fell like rain.

"Of course," Sunset grumbled from beneath her energy shield. "Of course they'd turn it into a way to worship me."

The Care and Feeding of Minions, by Masterweaver

"Look, Sunset, I get that you're a god and all now—"

"I am really uncomfortable with that word—"

"—and I know we kind of avoided you after the whole demon thing—"

"That is entirely understandable—"

"—but I'm really freaking out here. I, I don't know who else to turn to, and..."

Sunset, not for the first time, let out a sigh. "Okay, Snips. I'll come with you."

"Great! It-it's this way." The stocky teenager waved a hand, running down the road. "We've got to hurry!"

Sunset rolled her eyes, easily keeping up with her former minion. "Will you at least tell me what's going on?"

"You know how you transformed us into those flying demon things back when you were evil?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I think there might have been side effects!" Snips gestured. "Like, when you fixed magic, the connection or something did something!"

Sunset frowned. "That... could be serious, actually. What kind of side effects?"

"Well, I didn't notice anything before, but now that I think about it, I might be, I dunno, smarter? Like I'm finding all my schoolwork a little easier or something! But what's really important is Snails," Snips emphasized. "I mean, you know what he's like, not all there at all—"

"So you think he couldn't resist this whatever as much, so he's more seriously affected?"

"Yeah! I mean—" Snips stopped suddenly, gesturing at a door. "Look, you have to promise not to freak out, okay? Just... look in there. Sneaky like."

Sunset frowned, flicking her eyes toward the door. The gem on her forehead glowed for a moment or two. "...Okay, so... Snails is taking ballet."

"He's wearing a tutu and everything!" Snips clutched his head. "I mean, when he told me he seemed so happy, I had to pretend it was cool and get out of there—"

Sunset facepalmed.

"...What?"

"Snips, you know how I threatened to expose your, and I quote, 'super geeky papercraft artwork' in order to get you to work for me?"

"Uh..." The teenager's eyes darted left and right. "Y-Yeah. I, uh. Yeah. You still haven't, right?"

"No. And frankly it was wrong of me to do that, and your artwork is actually pretty good and you should be proud of it, but that's besides the point right now." Sunset let her eyes open. "How do you think I managed to get Snails on board?"

"Uh... I dunno. I always thought you just told him to do something and he did, because he's kind of stupid."

"...I threatened him like I threatened you."

"Wait, Snails has super geeky papercraft artwork?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Snails has taken ballet class for as long as I've known him."

Snips' eyes bulged. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah. Before I came to Earth, even." She nodded. "He's got the legs for it, you've got to admit."

"Uh--but--I thought..." Snips gulped. "Um."

"You thought....?"

"I... thought that maybe... your, uh, impulses might have imprinted on him, when we were, uh, transformed, and then the magic made them come back?"

Sunset slowly raised an eyebrow as Snips fidgeted.

"Or maybe," she suggested very calmly, "Snails has grown more confident in himself and his interests, as a result of growing up." She shrugged. "Or it could be that he has new magic abilities giving him confidence. Or maybe he just wanted to share something special with his best friend. I don't know."

"Um."

"Also, I don't do ballet."

"Oh."

"I can pull off some mean breakdancing stunts though."

"...Ah." Snips cleared his throat. "So... just to be clear, you're absolutely sure me and Snails haven't been mind-whammied?"

Sunset held up a finger, paused, and then smiled a smile all too familiar to him. "Actually, now that you mention it, it might be good to have you two visit the NAHTI this weekend..."

Author's Note

Odds are any perceived increase in intelligence on Snips's part is a combination of gradual maturation and a psychosomatic sense that it's "okay" to be smarter than he gave himself credit for after the Saturation. Not necessarily the only explanation, but a likely one.

As for Snails, he does have the legs for ballet.

The Mare Makes the Clothes, by FoME

"The fashion really interests me," said Twilight.

The Rainbooms looked at her with mixed expressions from their various positions on and around the portal, none more excited than Rarity. "I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to hear that, Twilight! I have always believed that your beauty could truly blossom with just a touch more consideration of your appearance. If you ever wish to—"

"Rarity." Twilight held up a hand. "I appreciate the thought, but that wasn't what I meant."

"Oh. Well, the offer stands."

"What did you mean, Twilight?" said Sunset.

"Well, aside from questions of origin and persistence, it appears that the outfits generated for ponies reflect their mindsets to some degree. My analogue told me she couldn't help but think about how much there was to learn in this world and she came out dressed like a typical student, complete with backpack. Rainbow Dash's analogue came out looking—"

"Awesome," said Dash, lying on the back of the Wondercolt. "Well, up until the moment she punched me in the face."

"I was going to say 'like an NRPG protagonist,' which rather fits her mindset. And Fluttershy's seemed prepared for a safari."

Fluttershy nodded. "She had a new creature to learn about. Focusing on that helped her ignore the scary parts of being in such a strange place."

"So it will be interesting to see what— Oh!"

The base of the statue began to glow. A humanoid figure stumbled out of it. For a few silent seconds, everyone took her in.

"... Huh." Twilight coughed into a fist. "I'm really not sure what I expected."

The new arrival looked to her counterpart. "Hi, Pinkie!"

The local Pinkie returned the enormous smile of the girl clad in the exact same outfit. "Hi, Pinkie!"

Author's Note

NRPG stands for Neighponese Role-Playing Game.

And, as it says on the group page, Pinkie is a universal constant.

Living Nightmares, by Jenna Cipher

"No Sweetie Belle, I am your mother..."

"NOOOOOOO!"

"I'm givn' her all she's got captain!"

"Invaders blood marches through my veins like giant radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! DO NOT IGNORE MY VEINS!"

"Because that is dumb! And you are dumb for thinking that!"

Sunset stared blankly at the scene before her, a very weird sight consisting of a yelling contest between Darth Rarity, Sweetie Skywalker, Chief Engineer Applebloom 'Scotty' Scot, Invader Spike, and Rainbow Caboose. With frustrated sigh, she turned to the rest of her friends.

"A spell that turns people into whatever they dressed up as for halloween... Not the weirdest thing I've seen this year, but what are you supposed to be Fluttershy?"

Sitting next to her on the ground, a cream colored police box with three butterflies on it's side let out a faint wheezing sound, that if one focused hard enough, could be interpreted as a very quiet 'eep'.

Author's Note

"What have we learned, Twilight?"

"Don't take magical inspiration from Peppy the Vampire Stabber?"

"I meant test new spells in a controlled environment, but that's probably a good rule of thumb as well."

Creative Control Freak, by Masterweaver

"Hello. I'm a talking dog named Spike. And here, I review things. So, we decided to call this web show... Candid Canines!"

"Spike!"

"Fine, Candid Canine, singular."

"Spike..."

"I'm a canine, and I'm candid, and I want another C word because I like alliteration."

"Spike, seriously."

"Look, Spike Reviews isn't really going to get any hits. It's like... there are a lot of Spikes, aren't there? There's the vampire Spike, there's the dragon Spike, the Happy Days Spike—"

"Look, I just thought you'd want to spread your opinion of human culture!"

"I do, Twi, seriously, but... can we try some other title? Something less generic?"

"He's got a point."

"Moooom!"

Author's Note

"He really does."

"Do you just follow me all the time now?"

"Only when it's funny; I blame Pinkie Pie."

"Can I get you something to drink, Sunset?"

"No thank you, Mrs. Velvet, the gag's nearly done."

Mass Transit Gloria Mundi, by FoME

Sunset had learned a lot over the years since the Saturation, but she'd never quite figured out how to keep people from holding her up on a pedestal. The various sects and interpretations had calcified, a generation had been born into a new world and taught that the nice woman with the ketchup-and-mustard hair was a goddess, and all the powers of Harmony couldn't overcome sheer cultural momentum. At least, not in a way that would let Sunset live with herself afterwards.

Twilight and the others helped with both the frustration and keeping Sunset grounded. If Sunset was honest with herself, even the frustration itself helped, reminding her of the disharmonious emotions that anchored her to humanity. Her very nature made such things slippery, and without them, she could all too easily slip towards the same distant dissipation as the Tree.

Sunset felt very grounded at the moment, rubbing her temples and wincing at the potential wordplay.

"Have I displeased you, o Brilliant One?" asked Flying Buttress, an all-too-earnest earth-aspected architect.

Sunset took a deep breath. "Part of it is just nostalgia, Mr. Buttress." Seeing nothing but a cleared foundation where Canterlot High once stood did leave an ache in her heart, but it was nothing compared to the building migraine. "However—"

Buttress dropped to his knees. "Speak, and I will correct the mortal flaws imposed upon your vision."

She knelt, took his hand, and dragged him to his feet. Once Buttress was done marveling at his own palm, Sunset said, "Don't get me wrong, the blueprint looks amazing. It's just that this is supposed to be a transit hub." She patted the still-standing horse statue containing the portal. "It and its counterpart in Equestria are meant to make it easier for people to move from universe to another. Instead, you have designed a cathedral. It's a very nice cathedral, just not what I'd asked for."

Flying Buttress looked back and forth between Sunset and the blueprint for the better part of a minute. Finally, he said, "So... you didn't mean facilitating a spiritual journey to approach your divine equinity?"

Sunset took a deep breath and fought the urge to facepalm. "No. No I did not." She held up a hand before he could debase himself again. "You're forgiven; we all make mistakes, and yes, that does include me. And a lot of the design elements can stay; I had something like Pone Station in mind anyway. I just don't want the first thing my mentor sees when she visits this world to be a twenty-foot-high brass statue of me. That doesn't exactly scream that I've gotten over my megalomaniacal phase."

Buttress considered this for a moment. "If I may speak freely, Highest of the High?"

Sunset nodded, wondering who kept coming up with all of those honorifics.

"You are the undisputed mistress of the universe."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I have to flaunt it."

Author's Note

Original credit for the idea goes to Lurks-no-More.

Revere the Hounds, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(Jenna Cipher)

Sunset Shimmer stared gaping at the paper floating before her, as if not quite having registered its utter stupidity. Shaking her head, she finally looked up at Twilight, sitting in front of her. and spoke.

"A weapons enthusiast who joined one of my stupid churches wants my blessing for her to create something called... a war corgi!?"

Twilight frowned. "What the heck is a war corgi?"

"That's what I want to know..."

(FoME)

"Granted, this is the girl who asked to be the pope of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse."

"Seriously?" Twilight snorted, then saw Sunset's serious expression. "You didn't!"

Sunset shrugged. "Well, she did ask first."

"'First come, first served' is no basis for a system of religious hierarchy!"

"It is when it's one as ridiculous as that." Sunset frowned. "Going back to war corgis, where's Spike?"

The assembled dogs of Canterlot sat before their leader, entranced as he paced from side to side of the stage.

"We shall chase them up the branches, we shall chase them through the picnic grounds, we shall chase in the fields and the streets, we shall chase in our homes, we will never surrender."

The air around the gazebo filled with excited barks and yips. Then a squirrel passed by and the barks and yips pursued it, along with their sources.

Author's Note

I may have added the bit about the bacon papacy, but it was originally Jenna's idea. You'll see how and why in a few snippets.

Assume a Spherical Walrus, by FoME

Luna had been happy to accept managing dreams. She still didn't completely trust Sunset Shimmer. The girl had clearly turned over a new leaf, but Luna remembered her own regrettable youth too well to trust a teenager as mistress of the universe. Anything she could take off of Sunset's workload would be a load off of both their minds.

However, minds soon became the issue. What Luna hadn't realized and Sunset likely hadn't known was that most people were always dreaming a little, at least by whatever definition magic used for the term. Any thoughts that weren't focused on the here-and-now counted, which meant that Luna could tell where most people were by the faint mental static of abstract thought. She could even tune in to it to get a vague sense of what they were thinking, but the key word was "vague;" most of the time it was a mishmash of memories and speculation that wasn't even put into words, much less a coherent flow.

The signal that cropped up unannounced in the middle of her office needed no introduction. There was no mistaking the only mental signal that left an aftertaste centered on her headgem. Luna didn't even look up until she finished filling out the form she was working on. "I trust you know why I asked you here, Mr. Discord?"

"Come now, Lulu. You don't really expect the disciplinarian act is going to work on me, do you?" Mr. Discord beamed, brightening up the office past Luna's preferred illumination level. "After all, I remember when I used to bounce you on my knee."

"Be that as it may, we have been getting calls from concerned parents about your classes. You are terrifying your students."

"Oh, please. I'm just getting their attention. I have to get them to look away from their phones somehow, and creating wireless interference makes me feel like a lazily written horror movie." Mr. Discord threw off his hockey mask in disgust.

Luna crossed her arms. "Don't you think sending them to an airless void is a little extreme?"

Mr. Discord threw up his hands, which clung to the ceiling. "There's plenty of air! Just not in the demonstration area. I assure you as I have assured them, I have complete control over the pocket dimension."

"I don't suppose I could convince you to keep your classes in this one?"

"Don't be ridiculous! Everyone knows that high school-level physics happens in a frictionless vacuum!"

Author's Note

Credit for the idea goes to xkcd. The chapter title comes from one of the most memorable pop quizzes I've ever taken and seems perfect for a Mr. Discord short.

Also, friendly reminder that Mr. Discord is the principals' uncle.

Rutaceae, by Masterweaver

"So you know that your principal's a bitch, right?"

"Yeah, she's my aunt." Lemon Zest leaned left, neatly dodging Rainbow's hot-coffee spit take. "See, I've learned to expect that response—"

"Your aunt is Abacus Cinch?!"

"Mmhmm. Auntie Abby, I call her. Gets me detention every time."

"That—That..." Rainbow tapped her chin. "Actually, that kind of explains a lot about you. In sort of a 'rebelling against your elders' way."

"Yeah. Weird thing, my mom's actually the older sister," Lemon explained. "Famous food critic, I think she's a unicorn aspect now? Everyone was surprised when she got pregnant, but bing-bang-boom, all that. She sent me over to Crystal Prep cause it's supposedly 'the best', but..." She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, me and the other students didn't gel, you know?"

"Huh. You know, Twilight says they have high standards for scores over there. Why didn't you get kicked out?"

"Total legit genius. If I actually gave a shit I might have trumped Twilight... maybe." The Shadowbolt leaned back. "Sort of like Pinkie, you know? I mean I don't know if you get the logistics that go behind all her stunts, even with magic laughter power, but I guarantee you that brain is operating at warp speeds on a slow day. Of course, warping the mind leads to warped thoughts, which explains Pinkie and me; we're too smart to be sane. Sort of like Uncle Dissy was."

Rainbow nodded. "Right, right, Cinch is mister Discord's ex—Wait. Hold on." She pointed a finger. "That means you're Principal Celestia's cousin!"

"Cousin-in-law, twice half-removed."

"...what?"

"Genealogy is fuckin' weird."

Author's Note

It's the taxonomical family of the lemon tree.

Cloudy with a Chance of Bacon Bits, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(FoME)

AND NOW, A SPECIAL REPORT

Aria gritted her teeth, fists clenched on the news desk. "Breaking weather news—"

"Wacky Weather."

"Zip it, Adagio. She's not here, we don't have to use her stupid names for things. In breaking weather news, regions worldwide have experienced showers of unicorn-shaped pieces of bacon. Sunset Shimmer has denied all responsibility. Sonata Dusk has probably claimed about twenty pounds of the stuff off of the dirty ground and I hope she gets food poisoning and a heart attack at the same time."

"Oh, be nice. We're like sisters."

"You literally grabbed the first two sirens who'd listen to your stupid idea without trying to eat you."

"Not true. Sonata listened while trying to eat me." Adagio turned back to the camera. "After earlier silence on the matter, the Carnifex Maxima Pope Ruby I has declared the bacon manna from heaven. Vegan contingents of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse are calling for her resignation, decrying bacon as an inequine food product regardless of its divine symbolism."

Aria snorted. "They were definitely raising pigs back in the day in Nova Scoltia."

"Newfinnedland."

"Whatever. Her mane doesn't even look like bacon."

"You think that's going to stop them?"

"Point." Aria held a hand to her ear. "Huh? What you mean we're on live? Why didn't you say something earlier!?"

"No one has yet claimed responsibility for the event, but we'll have more as the story develops."

(Jenna Cipher)

Sunset Shimmer knew exactly who was at fault, because they'd left a note, a glass of chocolate milk, and a single cotton candy cloud right on her doorstep. Which led to now, where she sat at the same lunch table as usual, with her friends.

"Wait... So if it wasn't you, and it wasn't another one of Twilight's screw ups while trying to invent a new spell, then who was it?" Rainbow Dash questioned, ignoring Twilight's faint yell of frustration at the mention of her 'screw ups'.

Sunset sighed and launched her explanation.

At the same time, lounging around in the clouds, Discord chuckled and brought another bacon rainstorm into existence over the White House.

"Chocolate rain? What was my counterpart thinking? Bacon rain is so much more rewarding!"

Author's Note

Jenna gets top billing since she came up with the idea first. I just though her snippet worked better as the punchline.

Also, Mr. Discord cleaned everything up shortly afterwards. This was merely a test of his capabilities. An amusing test, but a test.

Also also, any resemblance between Ruby I and a certain girl with an affinity for scythes that are also sniper rifles is entirely intentional. Pegasus-aspect, if you're curious.

Oh, and credit for the chapter title goes to MythrilMoth; it used to be "Rasher Decision."

Foster Services, by Masterweaver

"Okay." Sunset put down the paper. "First question: What kind of whacked-out drug was this guy on?"

"The thrill of discovery, mixed with a bit of mania."

"Oh, sure, yes. That totally explains why the guy created a species of human-sized green humanoid rats, stuffed them in SWAT vests, and proclaimed himself the dictator of..." Sunset looked down at the paper again. "Punkeydoodles Corners? Is this a real place?"

"As it turns out, yes."

"...alright. So, after you find out about the situation, your first response was to ask Fancy Pants to airlift you and your... still unnamed super-hero club over to the region."

"Well, I figured it would be decent training, and some of the younger members have been hoping for something more than just street-level thugs. I did make it clear they would have to stick with the adults, of course."

"Right, right. Because that makes total sense. And you dropped yourselves all off, had a battle, captured the bad guy--who for some reason said he would reincarnate as the sun--"

"It's actually very complicated, and it involves Aztlan mythology—"

"I think it'll be easier if we all just agree he was insane."

"Well, true, but with Ahuizotl being a thing, it would be a bit disrespectful."

"I checked, Ahuizotl also thinks the guy is crazy."

"Ah. In that case, he was a mite disturbed."

"Good enough. So you catch the guy, cart him off, and then for some reason decide to adopt the green rat things en masse."

"Well... technically they are now fostered under a program by Fancy, working with PAULDRONS—"

"I'm well aware of the technicalities, Celestia, I'm just wondering about the reasons!"

"...When they realized they didn't have to fight any more, they just... stood there for a few minutes. Between the time their creator was captured and the actual police came... They were acting like children. Young, confused children. One of them got up on a car and made vroom vroom noises."

"Yes, I've seen the video. It's trending."

"My point is.... I couldn't just leave them there. They literally had no idea what they were doing was wrong. They did it because they were scared of the man. And... technically, none of them are a year old yet, so..."

"Ugh. I'm sorry, I know it was the right thing to do, but... this is just... this is crazy."

Author's Note

This is apparently based on a dream.

Hypothesis Confirmed, by Giginss

"Sunset! Sunset Shimmer! I simply must have your help in testing my new experimental hypothesis!"

"What is it this tim—WOAGHH!" Sunset materialized inside Discord's lab to the sight of Discord's hand reaching out for her. She ducked, which is exactly what he wanted. Grabbing her hair, he pulled it clean off her head.

"Why did you...what are you doing with my hair?"

"Why, testing an experimental hypothesis! I thought I made that clear."

Sunset stared at Discord, who was currently chewing on a mouthful of her hair.

"What is this hypothesis you are testing?"

Discord finished chewing, and then swallowed. He grinned in triumph.

"I was right all along! I knew it, I knew it!" he cheered.

"You knew what?"

"It really DOES taste like bacon!"

Author's Note

"It doesn't count if you make it taste like bacon."

"Oh, you're no fun."

Recharging, by FoME

Contrary to popular belief, educators' summer vacations weren't nearly as carefree as those of the students, especially not those of the principals. There were textbooks to review, budgets to stretch, mad scientists to work around, vigilantes to organize...

Well, maybe some of those were limited to Celestia, though these days, she wasn't too sure about that.

Still, the occasional opening in her schedule did crop up, and that meant time to relax and decompress. That meant it was just her, the sun, a lounge chair, sunglasses, and a bikini that would probably give half of the seniors at CHS heart attacks. For others, the sunbathing would mean working on a tan, but Celestia's particular form of chromelanin would actually make her paler and more reflective. She sighed, feeling her stress melt in the summer heat.

It couldn't last forever, no matter how much Celestia might wish otherwise. After forty minutes, her phone started beeping, strategically placed on a table Celestia couldn't reach from her chair. She got up with a sigh, turned off the alarm, and resisted the temptation to just lie back down. Duty called, whether she liked it or not.

Something seemed off as she went back inside. Just what only occurred to her when she walked by a mirror and registered a bit of movement in the corner of her eye; everything seemed brighter than usual.

At the time, though, she was more concerned with how her hair was glowing and squirming.

Twilight looked up from her book as Sunset manifested, a haunted look in the orange girl's eyes. "Everything okay?"

"The human analogue of my mentor and secondary mother figure was panicking in a bikini as I had to explain that her hair was going through something completely normal. I have so many conflicting feelings that I feel like my head's going to explode."

Twilight tilted her head. "You know, if you listen real close, you can probably hear Dicke Zigarre laughing from beyond the grave."

"Not. Helping."

Author's Note

Dicke Zigarre is German for "thick cigar." I could think of no more suitable name for pony Freud.

And yes, OW!Celestia's hair can move if exposed to enough sunlight. Theoretically, Luna's mane could animate and in a similar way, but she's more likely to cause that through heavy magic use than moonlight exposure.

Rapturous, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Few people ever pay attention to EweTube ads, but this one drew notice. There was no blaring music, no fast-moving visuals. Just a man looking into the camera, speaking with conviction.

"I am Aqua Regia, and I'm here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No,' says the man in Chopperton, 'it belongs to the poor.' 'No,' says the girl in the Baconium, 'it belongs to Sunset.' 'No,' says the man in Neighjing, 'it belongs to everyone.' I rejected those answers; instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose... Triumph. A city where the artist would not fear the censor; where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality; where the great would not be constrained by the small! And with the sweat of your brow, Triumph can become your city as well."

"Eccentric billionaire..." Aria frowned at her news copy. "How many eccentric billionaires are there, anyway? Whatever happened to that Ebon Musk guy; he still trying to get into space?"

"We're on live," Sonata singsong-said.

"Please, half our viewers watch us to see when we go off script. Anyway, eccentric billionaire Aqua Regia's viral marketing campaign for his proposed underwater utopia has gotten a lot of interest from fringe communities and a cease and desist order from Ridiculous Games. Mr. Regia has expressed a continued intent to follow through on his project, though he has expressed willingness to rename it. For more, we turn to our senior oceanic correspondent of the day..." Aria tossed a die onto the newsdesk. "Adagio Dazzle."

"Thanks, Aria." Adagio beamed for the camera. "Speaking as someone who's seen her share of underwater cities, allow me to say this: They don't work well if you don't have gills. Sonata?"

"Sunset Shimmer has confirmed that she has no intent of helping with this project, nor any desire for the sweat of anyone's brow but her own. Mr. Regia declined to comment further, saying that his message speaks for itself."

(Masterweaver)

"...Okay." Rainbow Dash waved a hand at the TV. "Are people seriously using magic to mimic whatever they like in fictional media?"

"Well, yes. Childhood fantasies come true and all that." Rarity quirked an eyebrow. "Why, are you surprised?"

"No. Just disappointed." Rainbow sagged in her chair. "I mean... the sirens are reporting on what's literally Triumph City! Underwater cities are cool and all, but isn't the whole point of the game, like, extremist separation from society is bad or something?"

"Or something..."

Solar Wavelengths, by ArtieStroke

"Well, this certainly makes things more worrisome," Fancy said, sipping a can of cola across from Celestia.

"Yes, as if I didn't have enough to worry about with hiding our identities before," Celestia murmured, running a hand through her now slightly animated hair. "I had a hard enough time concealing all this under a wig WITHOUT it moving under its own power."

"Yeah, but you gotta admit, that is pretty cool. In like a weirdly eldritch and freaky way," Wiz piped up, supported by a nod from his brother Featherweight. Celestia smiled.

"Well, I'm certainly glad some of you are getting some entertainment out of it. I bet Luna doesn't have to deal with these kinds of... shenanigans."

"Language," Fancy said, and the three of them burst out chuckling as Celestia rolled her eyes.

"Far be it from me to try and be responsible around children..."

Author's Note

The good news is that it stops moving if she spends enough time out of sunlight. The sunlight that fuels her powers. Yeah.

Sensitivity Training, by Masterweaver

Sunset took a moment to compose herself, before taking her once abandoned unicorn form and stepping in front of the crowd. Reverent silence filled the air... right up until she stood by the farmer, at which point there was confused murmuring.

"First of all, similarity of appearance does not mean similarity of species. Secondly, even in Equestria we had manual labor and performance ponies. Thirdly, this woman is not mistreating them in any way. Fourthly, none of these horses are sapient; what do you expect will happen after you quote unquote 'liberate' them? Seriously, I am fine with the situation. In fact, I'll make a video about this whole thing. Expect it Saturday. For now, though, just step off, okay?"

The assembled protesters, most wearing red and yellow, sheepishly dispersed.

With a sigh, Sunset turned to the farmer. "Sorry about this, Miss Jubilee."

"Oh, don't worrah yuaself on mah paht, dahlin'. Ah fullee hundahstan' the whole thang tain't ya fault."

Sunset winced. And she had thought Applejack's accent was thick...

Author's Note

I formally apologize to any and all readers residing in the southern United States.

Urd Pony, by FoME

“… Happy birthday, dear Apple Bloom
Happy birthday to you!”

Everyone cheered as Apple Bloom blew out the candles. There weren’t many gathered in her home’s kitchen, just the other Crusaders, her family, and Pinkie Pie, because one didn’t need destiny magic to know that snubbing her wasn’t a good idea.

After the cake came presents: a movie from Scootaloo, a Goops for Stuff sample pack from Sweetie, a Sugarcube Corner gift card from Pinkie Pie.

Applejack smiled as she passed Bloom the last box. “We wanted t’ save this one for last.”

“Oh. Great!” Bloom put on a smile strained enough to serve as baby food as she unwrapped it.

Applejack glanced at Big Macintosh, but looked back in time to see Apple Bloom open the box, revealing a belt buckle shaped like her icon.

“Oh, wow!” Sweetie Belle leaned in close. “I’m still waiting on mine.”

“Still? It’s been like a month.” Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “Not that yours isn’t awesome, AB!”

“Yeah, it’s great.” Apple Bloom turned to her family, her smile more genuine, though visible tension lines still marred it.

“It better be great for what we paid,” Granny Smith muttered. “Back in my day, th’ bespoke shop wouldn’t charge more’n—“

“Hey! Who wants to see how many empty cans I can decorate at once with my new funderbuss?” Pinkie brandished some unsightly hand cannon covered in stickers, not all of which had warning symbols on them.

“Heck yeah!” Scootaloo followed her, dragging Sweetie Belle along.

Applejack put a hand on Apple Bloom’s shoulder and said, “Y’all have fun. I wanna have a talk with th’ birthday girl.” When it was just Apples, she said, “Everything okay, Bloom?”

Apple Bloom stiffened. “Sure! Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Y’ knew what yer gift was ahead o’ time.”

“I… I didn’t mean to! It just happened!”

Granny Smith clicked her tongue. “Hush now, Applejack. I remember a certain li’l girl peekin’ at Yuletide presents plenty o’ times.”

“I didn’t peek!” said Apple Bloom. “I just heard y’all.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “We only ever talked about it when you were with yer friends.”

“Yeah, out in th’ orchard.” Bloom tapped her new buckle. “It’s a magic thing. Earth remembers, an’ I know how to ask it, even when I don’t mean to.”

Applejack coughed into a fist. “Oh.” Mac nudged her. She shot back a glare, muttered, “I was gonna,” and turned back to Bloom. “Sorry, sugarcube. I was just lookin’ forward to springin’ this on you.”

“It’s okay.” Apple Bloom sighed. “Y’ know th’ worst part?”

“What’s that?”

Bloom slumped down in her seat. “Earth remembers, but it don’t remember anythin’ before the change.”

Applejack walked to her and held her tight. “They’d be so proud of you.”

Apple Bloom squeezed back. “Thanks.”

Author's Note

Hey, all of those cutie mark-shaped accessories had to come from somewhere. I considered calling the shop an "iconoblast," but that felt a little too on-the-nose.

I have more lighthearted ideas planned, but this one demanded my attention.

Also, Goops for Stuff is doing a lot better in the age of Whole Foods and the online marketplace.

ZefRAM Cochrane, by Jenna Cipher

Cookie Crisp stared blankly at her computer, occasionally blowing away a stray few locks of her dark brown hair that would fall down over her face. She brushed her hands across the keyboard, rapidly typing away, her milky white skin blending into the similar color of the keyboard, and her bright blue eyes quickly skimming over the screen, taking in every utterly boring detail with perfect clarity.

"I'm telling you Di, there's nothing on Mars, it's just rocks, rocks, and hmm, and I missing something.... Oh yeah, more friggin' rocks," she frustratedly monologued to what seemed to be thin air. "Honestly, why are we sitting here sending these rovers back and forth. Not like we're gonna find some ancient ruins or anything; this isn't Huggs Field, it's real life."

"Huh, what's that? Sorry, I was running some background simulations," came the bubblier than normal voice of the Paradiamond AI currently connected to her computer.

Cookie Crisp sighed and replied, "It's nothing, just a thought. Anything exciting happening with you?"

The computer's screen once more took on a violet tint as 'Di' spoke back, her voice as ear-piercingly bubbly and high pitched as ever. "Not really, I just cracked the secret to warp drive, but that's not important. So, back to rock watching?"

Cookie nodded. "Yea, whatever, let's just... Wait, WHAT!?"

2 months later...

"No."

"But..."

"I don't care if you MARRY every Space Trek series, we are NOT naming Earth's first warp drive starship 'Enterprise'."

"Awww dang it..."

Author's Note

Huggs Field is a trilogy of action RPGs by VivoWare noted for their rich world building, impactful choices, and disappointing conclusion, starring one Commander Shepherd.

Paradiamond systems that can pass the Turing test are more than a few years away from when most of these shorts are taking place. (Of course, the local equivalent is the Turnip test. He wasn't treated any better in that world. :ajsleepy:)

Hunter's Digest, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

A famous child opera star broke free from her father's grip with newfound unicorn powers but, not used to the real world, ended up using all her money and nearly died on the street before a crazy redhead pegasus aspect picked her up and taught her how to be confident. The red-head's half sister was having a vacation in some eastern countries when she heard about Tirek's reign of terror, and decided to head to Tauros to punch some bad guys with her earth aspect. She found a low-class bookworm griffon aspect, and together they liberated a small section of the town before heading home.

When the sisters met, they introduced their new friends to each other. Tensions rose when it was discovered the child star's father had some dealings with Tirek, but it was agreed that said father was a jackass. Shortly thereafter, Sunset Shimmer showed her video of her original self, the church of the divine bacon horse was formed, and while three of the friends laughed off the new development the redhead was so eager she immediately walked to Sunset's home (which was only three houses away), knocked on the door, and asked to become the pope.

Shortly after being awarded the position (and the resulting paperwork), the redhead wrangled her three friends into helping her to establish a system and order to the whole thing. For a time, they were stressed out and seriously considered abandoning the whole thing, but then an outbreak of a magical disease created angst monsters out of local animals and all four of them (who had combat training for various reasons and had experimented with magic weapons out of boredom) worked together with the members of their church to put the monsters down. After that, they were solidified as bishops in their own right.

All this happened over the course of a month.

(FoME)

Sunset got up when she heard the knock at her door. She opened the door with a smile on her face, though that quickly changed.

"Hi, Sunset!"

"Pinkie."

"Yes?"

Sunset pointed at the device in Pinkie's hands. "What is that thing?"

Pinkie beamed and hefted it up to give Sunset a better look. "It's the Pinkie-portable party cannon! Pee-three-see for short."

"It's a grenade launcher."

"Party bomb launcher." Pinkie put the P3C through a few shifts and clicks. "It's also a hammer!"

Sunset took a deep breath. "Why is it also a hammer?"

"Piñatas."

After taking in the war hammer that any minotaur would've been proud to call his own, Sunset said, "You've been talking to Ruby again, haven't you?"

Twilight looked up from her book. "I told you first come, first served was no way to determine a religious hierarchy."

Author's Note

Both Pinkie Pie and Nora Valkyrie in the same world seems a bit much to me. I'm not ruling it out completely, mind you.

Donkey Khan, by FoME

Cranky Doodle wasn't.

That is to say, he wasn't cranky. He definitely was in the sense of existing. Some might say he existed more than most people these days, though he wasn't one for that sort of philosophical or magical debate. He was just concerned with instilling some degree of respect for the Wranglish language in kids who were more interested in how much they could mangle into under one hundred forty characters.

Still, he had to admit that that had gotten easier after the world changed. Oh, the kids weren’t any smarter; Cranky swore there were fewer who knew how to think every year. The middle schools were still happy to let students graduate eighth grade without knowing what an adverb was. The change hadn’t even gotten him his hair back.

No, the important changes had been internal. He’d stopped getting ulcers from the idiocies and inadequacies around him. That tickle in his chest he’d never mentioned to anyone had, as he’d silently hoped, gone away. The general malaise that had come from a poorly treated body on the wrong side of sixty wasn’t there anymore, and without that weighing him down, the rest of his burdens had become a lot easier to carry. Even the ears weren’t that bad. He was in good company what with a decent chunk of the population turning into elves, even if his brought basset hounds to mind. Besides, Reader Response would get tired of telling everyone in the faculty area to forget not that he was an ass any day now.

Just as the bad parts of Cranky’s life had improved, so had the good. Matilda was enjoying her magical refreshment just as much as he was, and had taken to researching it. She’d always been more technically and civically minded than he’d been, and now she’d tell him all about her discoveries over dinner. He’d respond to with nods and polite murmurs for most of it, the various tests and testimonials determining just what the rare donkey aspects were capable of. The answer seemed to be “Anything a sane person would volunteer for.”

When the darker moments came to light, he paid more attention. When she mentioned how thousands had simply walked out of Tauros, barely slowed by anything short of Tirek himself, they immediately began discussing what they could do for those who weren’t so lucky. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.

One night shortly after the end of the school year, Matilda chuckled as she sat down.

Cranky couldn’t help but smile. “What is it?”

“One of my websites, one made for donkey aspects. It’s the Internet, so it’s mostly young men, and they’ve gone and found a way to show off.”

He gave a laugh of his own. “Remember that time at the state fair when I tried to win you a teddy bear?”

“You must have spent thirty dollars. I told you they glued down those milk bottles. But these fellows try to one-up one another on how much punishment they can take. They’ll run marathons in parkas, handle dangerous animals, help clean up toxic waste sites…” Matilda shook her head. “They’d probably have all killed themselves a few months ago.”

Cranky shrugged. “With any luck, they’ll grow out of it. Don’t see how that’s funny, though.”

“It isn’t. The funny part is that no one’s been able to top the current leader for more than a week.”

“Oh? What’s he do?”

Matilda beamed, her crow’s feet crinkling. “He teaches at Canterlot High.”

Cranky considered that for a few moments before smirking. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

Author's Note

Donkey + human = stupidly tough. We've already minmaxed our Constitution compared to most species. Donkey aspects can take physical, mental, magical, biological, chemical, radiological, and every other kind of punishment imaginable and keep going better than anyone else. They're not invulnerable, but there are times when it seems like they are.

Strange Interlude, by KingMoriarty

The Ancient One raised a hand, letting her sleeve fall all the way down to her elbow for dramatic effect. She smiled, and lowered her hand until her outstretched fingers were framing her head-gem. "You will observe," she explained, "not a glimmer."

She lowered her hand, and held it outstretched over the cell phone that sat on the table. Once she was confident that her guest was watching closely, the Ancient One curled one finger in, then flicked it out to its full length. Two inches beneath her palm, the phone began to slowly spin. There was no aura, no sparkle in her gem, and yet it turned.

"After twenty years of training, ten for the talented ones, this was all my students could hope to accomplish." The phone stopped spinning, and the Ancient One got up from her seat. She walked over to the corner of the room, and gestured towards a boulder that was roughly the size of a transport truck. She extended her hand again, this time in a clawed gesture, and raised both arm and boulder without the slightest spark. "And after living here for half of my life, and training every day, this was the extent of my powers." She set the stone down with hardly a sound, and turned back towards her guest.

"But then, the world changed." The blood-red stone on her forehead flared with a pulse of magic, and Sunset Shimmer's stomach tried to lurch as reality fell away around them. The ceiling above them folded open like a blossoming flower, and the sky that they were sent rocketing into didn't so much blur into nothing as it did bleed. In the space of a second, it was over, and the two of them stood outside of their universe. The Ancient One did a good job of hiding the soul-crushing instinctive terror racing through her mind, while Sunset watched the twirling spheres of far-off realities with a vague stare of acknowledgement.

After an awkward moment while the Ancient One got her bearings, she continued. "Suddenly, everything was different. The fruits of a lifetime of mystical training were transformed into the status quo for a third of the world population. My monastery went from the one true sanctum of magic to just being the first aspect-exclusive club."

"It's kind of remarkable," Sunset cut in. "I actually did a check on everyone who's ever come to you. All the students who left or didn't have the aptitude have become earth-aspect, pegasus-aspect or any other besides unicorn."

The Ancient One smiled, a smile that reminded Sunset of Celestia when she hadn't had her coffee. "Would it be too bold of me to postulate that our aspects have always been with us, and that the transformation did not so much introduce these powers as it did allow us to realize them?"

"Possibly," Sunset admitted. "We still know so little about magic in this universe, of all aspects. We actually know more about the magic systems of that world over there," she pointed at an indistinct sphere on the edge of the multiversal 'horizon', "than we do about the world you live in now. For now, all I can say is that this is one of those coincidences that makes people rattle off quotes about how coincidence is a fiction."

"Magic was a fiction, once. Perhaps the transformation has made coincidence a reality as well."

Sunset smiled wryly at the bald woman, and ripped them back into the monastery. "What is it about magic teachers and having to make every sentence sound like a riddle?" The Ancient One smiled, and floated over two full cups of tea.

"It helps reassure us that, even when the student surpasses the teacher, there will still be something they won't know." She took a sip of her tea, and Sunset followed suit. When that was done, she put the cup down and smiled at the supposed Master of the Mountain.

"So, what happens now?"

"Now? Now, Sunset Shimmer is going to tell me what she's doing here."

"In a word?" Sunset opened her palm, conjuring a hologram of the planet, criss-crossed with holy symbols and company logos. "Outreach. Part of not letting yourself think you're a god is relying on other people, and part of relying on other people is convincing yourself that they fill a role you can't."

"Then, what role may I fill in service of you?"

"Honestly?" Sunset sighed, knowing full well she was about to sound like a lunatic. "There's a team of superheroes that needs supervising, and you're the only person who's both sane enough and powerful enough to keep them in check."

The Ancient One chuckled. "Yes, I've heard of them. One of my students has been talking about trying to restrain them."

"He sounds smart. Maybe he should join them instead, inject some sanity into the venture."

"No, that would never work."

Author's Note

I appreciate the wisdom of bald Tilda Swinton as much as the next guy, but this... probably didn't happen. The bit about aspects existing before, though? Spot on.

Passion, by Malandy, Jenna Cipher, and Masterweaver

(Malandy)

"Cadenza Amore Alicor, will you marry me?"

"YES! YES! YES!"

"So, where did you get the money for the ring? Being a cop doesn't pay that well..."

"Well..."

(Jenna Cipher)

Chrysalis looked up from her copy of Jewelry Master as a loud, irritated knocking sounded from the front door. Sighing, she stood, walked out into the hallway, and slowly, carefully, unlocked and opened her front door.

"Listen, if this is about last night..."

A pink fist collided with her face, and the world went dark.

(Masterweaver)

Thankfully, it was only dark for five minutes. Unfortunately, she woke up to see her assailant trussed up and gagged.

"...Why is miss Cadenza our hostage?" she asked, calmly.

"Well..." Spinerette cleared her throat. "She... she attacked you, you see."

"Did any of you ask why?"

There was a couple of quiet moments.

With a sigh, Chrysalis walked up to the pink woman and ungagged her. "You have a mean right hook. If you don't mind, I'm going to leave you tied up for this conversation."

"Oh, you must really be getting off on this," Cadence spat.

"Not really. This headache I have gets in the way of enjoying, well, anything."

"I'm so sorry."

"Spinerette, would you mind getting us a couple of glasses of water?"

The young woman jumped, heading to the kitchen.

"So." Chrysalis sat across from the bound Cadence. "I'm pretty sure neither of us wants to bring this to court, but I do feel I should know exactly why you attacked me."

"Oh, you know why."

"No, I don't. That's why I'm asking, you see."

Cadence rolled her eyes. "Fine. You told Shining he owed you a favor! What, are you going to have him come over and--"

"Oh, that." Chrysalis nodded as Spinerette handed her a glass. "Help miss Cadence with her drink, will you?"

Spinerette scowled, but walked over to the bound woman.

"To be quite honest I ran into him entirely by accident." Chrysalis sipped her drink. "I was helping one of my children find her own engagement ring when, well, he walked into the store. Of course there are very few reasons for people to seek jewelry, and given what he was looking at... Shining is an old friend, so I offered to purchase the rings for free. He wouldn't accept that, though. Something about honor or something." She rolled a hand. "So now, he owes me a favor to call in at some future point."

"Right. What kind of favor?"

"Oh, you know, a look through some criminal records, or maybe a rearranging of paperwork... nothing illegal, and certainly nothing sexual." Chrysalis put her glass down. "I know you don't think highly of me, miss Cadenza. My history and my current work speak to a certain... provicality, shall we say, that makes others uncomfortable. But rest assured that I do take sex and sexual relationships very seriously; I would not endanger Shining Armor's future happiness with any attempt at seduction."

Cadence glowered, the effect slightly ruined by the glass Spinerette was levering to let her drink.

Chrysalis sighed. "Honestly... Would you find it at all comforting if I promised not to attend your wedding?"

"...That might help."

"Very well, it is done. Spinerette, would you mind untying our guest?"

The young girl put down the glass with a growl. "Of course not. Let's let the woman who knocked you out run free." She worked at the knots in the ropes. "No consequences whatsoever, right? We're going to let her go, again, and--"

"Spinerette." Chrysalis held out her hands. "All things in balance."

"Hmmph." With a final twist, the ropes fell away. Spinerette pointed from her eyes to Cadance. "I'm watching you, buster."

Business Lunch, by FoME

Rarity felt something of a kinship with the human Twilight Sparkle. Both having headgems was barely part of it. Twilight had a drive that Rarity found quite familiar. Their interests were wildly different, but both pursued them with an unrelenting passion, an unquenchable thirst for excellence that would doubtlessly see them rise to the pinnacle of their respective disciplines.

That kinship resonated deeply one day near the end of the school year, as Rarity approached her customary lunch table and saw Twilight already seated, hunched over something as she wrote furiously.

Rarity placed her apple by Twilight's notebook. "Here."

Twilight flinched up and looked around as though she'd never seen the cafeteria before. Her eyes fell on the apple and still gave no sign of recognition. "Whuh?"

"Food, darling. I'm well familiar with being so inspired that one forgets to eat. Ideas may keep your body going, but it's best to feed it as well, and I doubt that will be enough."

"Right. I'll get something else. Soon." Twilight absently bit into the apple, then stiffened up again. "This... this is actually good."

Rarity nodded. "It should be. Applejack's grandmother runs the cafeteria, and they're rarely wanting for fine produce."

"Huh." Twilight took another bite, considering the fruit as she chewed. "Even Crystal Prep only had two kinds of apple, floury and mushy."

"What are you working on, if I may ask?"

"Oh, this?" Twilight shrugged. "Just an idea I've been playing with. Maybe you can offer some insight."

Rarity gave the notebook an uneasy glance. "Perhaps, if there's no calculus involved."

Twilight started shaking her head, then paused. "Well, some, but it's mostly a business concept, especially at the start."

"Ah. That would be my metier, yes." Rarity turned the notebook to its front and considered what she found there.

Name:
~~Sunlight~~
~~Sunbeam~~
~~Dusk~~ ~~Dawn?~~
Main Sequence Enterprises, LLC (2x check availability)

• Go to NEISA
• Offer to clean up space junk (Who owns it?)
• Sunset does so (Will she?)
• $$$
• What next?

After that first page were doodled diagrams and equations, along with numerous iterations of what was presumably the company's logo, a sun with a six-pointed corona.

"It's definitely a work in progress," said Twilight.

"With all due respect, Twilight, I doubt Sunset will appreciate you charging for her using her abilities."

"I suppose we could do it pro bono."

Rarity gave her a flat look. "That isn't what I meant."

The penny dropped before Rarity's eyes. "Oh. Oh. Right, kind of presumptuous. I suppose we can always go with Plan B and have her turn the junk into a space station we can use for the honey—" Twilight clapped her hands over her mouth.

Rarity smirked. "My, my, Miss Sparkle. You do plan ahead."

"... I'm going to get lunch." Twilight rose, speedwalked towards the lunch line, and gave a Fluttershy-grade "eep!" as she passed Sunset on the way there.

Sunset looked back at Twilight as she sat down. "What's with her?"

Rarity just smiled. "Nothing terribly pressing. I'll let her tell you the details."

"The Time Has Come," the Faerie Said, by Masterweaver

"...and the shard of madness?"

"If the starfolk had it, it has been lost to the ages."

"It might be found."

"It might. It might not."

"...true. Our focus should be on the spring court."

"Yes, they are... eager to spread out, once again. We must consider..."

"Consider what?"

"Knowledge spreads fast, with the invisible library. News as well. But there are places still distant."

"You propose a ring."

"I do."

"...The unseelie will not like that."

"True. But better to be slow and gentle, then to rush and burn."

"Summer and fall would disagree."

"Summer and fall have long languished."

"True."

"In all honesty, I would allow fall before spring. But there seems to be no want."

"Yet. You know how they are. Still for ages, but when they seek..."

"...they swarm. Yes."

"Spring has long been active in Equestria. Our other courts, less so. Allowing them back here..."

"Perhaps some will take notice and act themselves."

"Perhaps."

War Sometimes Changes, by Void Knight

The white-and-gold banner of the Leanaí Beach snapped in the winds as battle drew nigh. From her position in the front ranks, Sleá Rinceoir could see the barbaric War Hounds drawn up in their own ranks across the field beneath banners of black and red. Or at least she could see most of them. That particular warband was known for their large contingent of dog-aspect soldiers, who were surely already lurking beneath the ground, waiting to spring up in ambush.

Of course, that came at the cost of other aspects. Though the War Hounds had a slight advantage of numbers, they were dangerously short of unicorn aspects, and Sleá was hopeful that that would give her side the edge in this battle.

Suddenly, the trumpets rang out. Sleá and her fellow earth-aspect infantry burst into a charge. Ahead of her, Sleá could see the War Hound infantry do the same, while behind them dozens of figures rose into the air on wings of light or capes of translucent magic. Though she couldn't see them, Sleá knew that her own side's fliers were doing the same. Arrows began to rain down on both sides, while fliers armed with sword or spear charged forward to meet in the air above, just as their land-bound counterparts were doing below.

At the last second, Sleá checked herself, digging her heels into the ground to stop her charge as she jabbed downwards with her spear. Though her target was a fellow earth-aspect, and judging from the quality of his gear a fellow veteran of many battles, Sleá's mark granted her just that extra bit of speed and coordination. His sword flashed down to bat away her spear, but he couldn't deflect it far enough. The point of Sleá's spear impacted his leg, punching through armor to cripple the limb.

A moment later, a blinding flash of red light exploded in Sleá's face. She jumped back and twisted, jabbing blindly with her spear. A blow crashed against her arm, and though her armor turned the worst of it she knew she couldn't take another hit there. But already her eyes were recovering, and she could see well enough to twist and catch the incoming sword-stroke on her spear. She retaliated with a point-blank jab, but her opponent was able to turn the blow with the shield in her other hand. The sword flashed out again, and Sleá caught it again on her spear. Then a rock struck her opponent's unarmored head, hurled down by one of the hovering Leanaí Beach pegasus-aspects, and she crumpled to the ground.

Finding herself momentarily unengaged, Sleá spun around to briefly take stock of the situation. The main infantry battle had degenerated into a mass of different duels, with both sides having taken heavy losses. The War Hounds had a slight edge there, but it was far from certain. The War Hounds' dog-aspects had indeed tried to take out the Leanaí Beach casters, but it was for that exact reason that the Leanaí Beach had held back most of their unicorn-aspect infantry, and the diggers couldn't overcome the combination of magical and martial skill. Unfortunately, the War Hounds were winning dramatically in the skies. Leanaí pegasi were plummeting to earth, and the War Hounds fliers had already begun to switch to a bombing role. Indeed, it had been a misaimed War Hound rock, not a Leanaí projectile, that had just ended Sleá's battle.

Sleá spun and charged back towards the casters. The War Hounds' dogs needed to be put down immediately so that the Leanaí mages could lend their aid elsewhere.

It was a perfect stroke. The dog never even heard Sleá coming, and her spear took him right in the center of his overly-muscled back, dropping him in a single blow. A second dog spun to face her, only to be taken down by a sword blow from the Leanaí he'd been dueling a moment before. Without missing a beat, Sleá continued her charge past the downed dog to confront a third. He swung with one of his two hand-axes, clearly expecting her to block. But instead she stabbed, trusting her armor to take the blow. It did. Her opponent's didn't.

The fight in the skies began to turn. Though they heavily outnumbered the remaining Leanaí pegasus-aspects, the War Hounds fliers were sitting ducks for the Leanaí unicorn-aspects. It wasn't long before the War Hounds broke and fled, escaping the field with perhaps a third of their number.

A second volley of trumpets signaled that the last "living" War Hound had left the field. All across the battlefield, the dead began to climb to their feet, exchanging congratulations.

Sleá Rinceoir, real name Dancing Clogs, grinned happily. LARP had become so much more fun ever since the Saturation!

Chastity Barebone Appreciation Society, by SaintAbsol

"I ask you: Have none of you seen the state of the world now? Have none of you seen the damage she has caused? Does no one realize the dangers that now infest and endanger our very lives thanks to this... this... magic she has forced upon us? How can you sit idly, never knowing what new entity or miscast spell might level a city, or end countless lives or—"

Paper Pusher groaned to himself as he signaled the bartender to come pour him another drink. "How come we're the ones who get called crazy when there are people like her around?"

"You do worship a high school girl, Pap," the bartender responded as she poured him another beer. "You can't tell me that doesn't at least sound crazy."

"A high school girl who is the embodiment of magic," he corrected, rubbing at his headgem. "Just because the news is constantly reporting on all those random idiots making weapons out of everything or trying to 'save' horses doesn't mean that's how most of us act. And we don't act like that either." He jerked his thumb back at the slightly pinkish-purple, unicorn aspect girl still ranting against magic just outside the bar doors. She couldn't have been much more than high school aged herself. "She ever going to shut up?"

"Not at this point, no," Mixed Drinks sighed as she wiped down the bar. "I'm about to go chase her off; she's not old enough to buy alcohol, and she's chasing away customers."

"Why'd you let her do it in the first place?"

Mixed Drinks shrugged, finally setting her rag aside. "It's looking like rain and I didn't have the heart to tell her to leave; now though... my bottom line outweighs my heart."

Paper Pusher just nodded as the Earthen woman made her way around the bar. "Don't get too rough with her, she's just a kid."

Starlight Glimmer fumed to herself as she stomped along through the streets. The few people still out in the chilly, cloudy evening made sure to give her a clear path, not wanting to become targets of her ire.

Damn, Sunset Shimmer, she mentally cursed. Damn her right to Tartarus for all time! That was yet another place of business she'd been banned from for trying to get others to see the truth of what that blasted girl had done to the world. Or what was left of it, at this point; with so many people eager to experiment with magic with little to no thoughts of the consequences, there was less and less of the familiar each day. Plus, with all the reports of monsters, both mystical and manufactured by 'mad scientists', Starlight was convinced it was only a matter of time before something out of H. P. Terror (if not worse) somehow showed up and did gods knew what to the world.

And no one wanted to hear it!

No one wanted to hear the calculations she'd done, no one wanted to hear about the statistics she'd run, no one wanted to hear anything but praise for what Sunset had done. It was nearly driving her mad!

The sky overhead suddenly sparked with lightning and people hurried along to their cars or to various buildings as the rain finally began to fall. Save for Starlight, who was still several blocks from the hotel she'd been staying at, and didn't have an umbrella to her name.

"Oh, great!" She slammed a fist into the wall of a building in frustration, and wince in pain immediately afterward. "As if nothing else could go wrong for me!" She started stomping through the rain, fully expecting to be sopping wet soon, only to suddenly find the droplets of water no longer hitting her.

"Hello," she whirled, finding a dark skinned pegasus aspect holding an umbrella over the two of them, looking at her from behind a pair of glasses. "Thought you might want to stay dry."

"...thanks," she hesitantly responded, cocking an eyebrow at the man, her headgem starting to glow. "What's the catch?"

The man just smiled at her. "Tell me... exactly how displeased are you with Sunset Shimmer?"

A short distance away, another man, with no visible aspect of his own, stood on the sidewalk. He seemed untouched by the rain, even as it started to truly pour down, and watched the two under their shared umbrella with a smirk upon his face. He stayed there for a moment longer, before turning away and walking off, seeming to vanish into the rain.

Author's Note

Some people deal with change better than others.

(Also, the H. P. in H. P. Terror stands for Heart Pounding. I like to be consistent.)

Fixer-Upper, by FoME

"Huh." Twilight took in the unadorned warehouse, her hands in her jacket pockets against the November chill. "So this is your home." It looked just shy of being condemned.

Sunset nodded. "It's not much, but it's mine. A lot nicer on the inside. Folding screens and cheap Scandineighvian furniture can work wonders."

"Not exactly what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

Twilight shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think there was a vague idea about someone firing a shotgun into the air when they wanted everyone's attention?"

Sunset took a moment to consider that mental image. "Yeah, not a lot of that. Canterlot doesn't really do the whole 'seedy underbelly' thing very well."

"How'd you get plumbing in there, anyway?"

"I know a guy. There he is now. Hey, Jerry!" Sunset waved.

A shaven man clad in a half-red, half-yellow robe bowed to her, apparently untroubled by leaving his arms exposed in the autumnal breeze. "Greetings, o Brilliant One."

Twilight gave Sunset a flat look. Sunset gave a nervous grin. "I, uh, might have had a slight influence on the area."

"You don't say."

"In my defense, Jerry Rig has shaved his head since I first met him."

"I'm guessing the robe is new."

"My mother taught me how to sew," Jerry said in a tone that spoke far more of snark than serenity. "I have her old machine."

"He only wears it when he feels like embarrassing me." Sunset shook her head despite her grin. "Which is often."

"But it's so easy." Jerry and Twilight looked at each other after their accidental chorus and laughed.

Author's Note

I know the term is jury-rig, but if the show's going to misspell derring-do, I'm giving myself this.

Frizzle Frazzled, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(Jenna Cipher)

Adagio blinked numbly. Not in surprise; she'd been expecting something dumb if she was being honest with herself... but not quite this.

"Happy Hearth's Warming, Adagio!" Sonata cried happily.

"is that... a school bus?"

"Do you like it?"

"It's a school bus..."

"Yup!"

THUD!

"Dagi?... Dagi, snow isn't for sleeping on... You are sleeping, right?..."

(FoME)

After Adagio came to, Sonata immediately explained what passed for her reasoning.

Adagio longed to return to unconsciousness, but her stupid, mostly human body refused to obey her. Instead, she just rubbed her temples. "So... you got me a school bus because of a fictional. Human. Teacher."

Sonata nodded so fast it sent her ponytail flying. "There's this one hypothesis going around that if you resemble a fictional character enough, you start to live out their story. Wouldn't that be neat?"

"I hate children. I've always hated children. I ate most of my siblings."

"We're sirens," said Aria. "We all ate most of our siblings."

"Ha! 'Most.'" Sonata giggled at the memories. "Still, you're a great teacher. You always helped me stay up to date with the human world back when I was stupider than a stupid thing!"

Aria rolled her eyes. "Because that's changed."

Adagio ignored her through long experience. "Where did you even get a school bus?"

"Um, duh? We work for a stupidly rich scientist who works at a high school. I can get, like, five school buses if I'm doing it to test how magic works."

"Well, you're giving this one back. I don't plan on reporting on human stupidity for the rest of my life, but I am not going into education of all things!" Adagio slammed a fist on the hood of the bus.

The bus honked reproachfully.

"Oh, don't you start."

Author's Note

Those of you who read Erfworld can think of this as the Signamancy Hypothesis.

God Rest Ye Merry Merchants, by FoME

Mr. Discord enjoyed the looks he got as he walked through the mall’s parking lot. A few of them may have come from his lack of any visible mutations, though some aspects were more subtle than others. Most, however, came from his ensemble. A Haywaiian shirt and plaid shorts were a bit odd at the best of times, which were not early December.

“Aren’t you cold?” said one woman, confusion wafting off of her like a pleasant perfume.

Mr. Discord grinned. “You’ve heard of Yuletide in July? I’m trying the opposite.” In truth, it was a simple matter to enjoy the crisp chill without it damaging his tissues.

The confusion intensified. The woman gave an uneasy nod and kept walking, as did Mr. Discord.

He entered the mall, leaned his head back, and held back a contented sigh. Frustration with limited stock, anxiety over finding the perfect gift, annoyance with the endlessly looped carols on the PA system; it was like walking into a hot tub.

Fluttershy smiled at him as she walked into class. “You certainly seem happy today, Mr. Discord.”

He returned the smile. “What can I say? I’ve caught the holiday spirit.”

Author's Note

:yay: "Well, make sure you feed it regularly."

Christened in Grease, by Jenna Cipher

"Excuse me but... what?"

Di's mobile platform 'grinned' back at Cookie Crisp, replying, "The Church decided to help fund the project, their only demand was we let them decide the ships name!"

Cookie groaned, having guessed where this was going. "Please tell me you didn't agree to what I think you agreed too..."

As they walked out into the main hanger, where said project was being built, the eccentric AI spoke again, nodding. "Yup. Behold, the D.B.H.V. Glorious Proclaimer!"

Cookie sighed, honestly not surprised at this point. "This is what I get for not agreeing to call it Enterprise, isn't it?"

"Yep! Happy Hearth's Warming Eve!"

"Well at least it's not as dumb as calling a school 'Bacon'."

Author's Note

That's "Divine Bacon Horse's Vessel," for those wondering. Again, further in the future than most in the collection.

Ask the Trees, by Masterweaver

"...and I just... I'm worried about him, Treezie. Leaving the pin behind..."

"Some people choose to walk their own path, Shy. Find something that doesn't mark them." Tree Hugger shrugged. "I know I did."

"Well, yes, but... don't take this the wrong way. I remember that you were... very worried about it. You spent a whole week, just... talking to your icon. Even after you made your decision, it... you were... off balance for a bit."

The green girl rose an eyebrow, turning to her friend. "And Zephyr?"

"Zephyr left it behind. Not even worried. Not even the confidence he puts up when he's hiding his worries...." Fluttershy shrugged. "It could have been an accident, but... I haven't seen him wear it in a while. It's around the house. It's not... on him."

"An abrupt change." Tree Hugger nodded. "Usually a sign that something has unbalanced somebody... not necessarily negatively, you know."

"Oh, I know. It's just... you have that whole... chakra, aura, whatever you do." Fluttershy bit her lip. "Can you... you helped me with it. Can you take a look at him?"

"...Bring him in. I can't guarantee anything, of course, but for you, I'll do it."

"Thanks, Treezie. You're the best."

"Sure thing, Shy. Oh, your soap came in yesterday."

"Oh! Right. Thank you really, I don't know how you find the stuff..."

Ursus Horribulus, by FoME

No one spoke as they watched the monochrome, vaguely ursine creature burn. The golden flames, edged with rainbows, reached high into the dusky sky, but never spread to anything else. All present tried not to think of the fire as holy, including the one who'd created it.

When the creature had burned away completely, Applejack clapped her on the shoulder. "Thanks, Sunset. Last thing we needed was that thing findin' Bloom. Or th' other way around."

Dash scowled and crossed her arms. "I don't get why we can't just rainbow laser these things in the face."

"That is the ultimate goal," said Twilight. "I suppose you could say that we're still determining at whose face you should aim the laser in order to hit all of them."

"Until then, well..." Sunset shrugged. "I am the one who made them possible. They definitely couldn't exist in a lower magic environment." She sighed. "Sorry for ruining the slumber party."

"Are you kidding?" Pinkie beamed. "The only way this could've been better would be if we could roast marshmallows over it!"

Everyone stared at her for a stretch. "That's..." Twilight paused to find the right word.

"Horrifying?" said Fluttershy.

"Precisely."

"Still, it did confirm that harmony magic works on angst monsters," said Sunset. "I'll put the spell's specifics online in the morning."

"Just be sure to make it clear that people don't have to present your holy symbol as they channel positive energy."

Sunset raised an eyebrow at Twilight. "O&O joke?"

"O&O joke."

Witch Vile, by Jenna Cipher

She ran her hand over the creatures head, content as she looked over the valley of withered, dying trees that stretched out below her, a product of her own work of course.

After all, it was her home now, her domain. It should reflect what she'd become. The sickly purple and black veins that bulged from her bleached white skin pulsed with a dark red light as she remembered how she'd come here...

She'd been the only infected human to survive that horrible day, that cursed zoo... She'd fled here, and these creatures treated her as a leader... a Goddess... A Mother. Even as her memories and sanity slipped away, at least she had them.

Her children.

Her monsters.

Salem, the humanoid Angst Monster, grinned as her children howled in the distance, signaling the creation of yet more of their kind from the infected mirror pools.

She laughed, picturing the day when she'd return to civilization, and her children would destroy and feed to their hearts content.

Author's Note

Almost certainly noncanon—the existence of any mirror pools in this world, much less corrupted ones, is extremely iffy—but not completely impossible.

Fair and Foul, by Masterweaver

Winter Lights tilted her head, observing the bone-faced creature as it growled at her.

"...ah. Interesting." She brought her hands together. "Most interesting..."

"Winter, get away from that thing!" Zephyr grabbed her arm. "It's dangerous!"

"Many things are."

The creature lunged—

—her hand shot out—

—and with a yip, it was impaled on a shard of ice.

"I," Winter continued calmly, "am among them."

"Oh." Zephyr blinked. "Well... well, uh, good. Still, we should get away and tell somebody from the Bacon Horse group about this; these things travel in packs."

"Indeed?" Winter Lights, for a moment, seemed to smile. "Fascinating."

Her eyes narrowed. "Quite fascinating."

Welcome to Bacon Academy, by ArtieStroke

"I hope the academy's proximity to your own school won't inadvertently cause any tension," Professor Pin said, taking a sip from his ever-present mug. Luna chuckled.

"Nonsense. If anything, I welcome a hopefully friendly face to start participating in the Friendship Games."

"Oh, yes. Though I suppose my students' particularly specialized education may call for some changes to the events."

Luna nodded, as they passed one of the many classrooms-slash-fighting rings. Luna paused. A particularly one-sided bout seemed to be going on inside.

"That... 'Gilded Arch' boy's form is absolutely atrocious," Luna commented. Ounce stopped, lips still firmly attached to his mug as he peered through the window.

"Ah, yes. Well, he did forge his way into the academy."

Luna bristled, "W-what?!"

Ounce shrugged, "I can still see plenty of potential in him, if he can get over some of his self-importance. Besides, it's not every day one sees someone so talented at legal subterfuge."

Luna stared, jaw agape. Professor Pin continued on ahead.

'Oh sweet Harmony, are all heads of education required to be mentally unstable?'

Author's Note

To be fair, it's not much worse than Celestia's "Anyone who walks in the door and looks like a teenager" policy.

Vice Squad, by FoME

For years, three of the most put-upon administrators in Hassenfeld County met at a bar in Crystal City every Saturday to vent about their respective principals. Glimmer Goodwitch fit into the group as though she’d always been a part of it.

Luna swirled her drink as she finished telling the others of her encounter with Headmaster Pin. No one was quite sure what she did to the dark rum, herself included, but by the time she considered it fit for consumption, it emitted shadows the same way a candle shed light. “I am beginning to suspect that no one with a clean bill of mental health can run a school in this county.”

Jace Beleren, vice principal of Ravnica High, waved a hand uncertainly as he put down his Shirish coffee. “To be fair, I can kind of see his point. Speaking from experience, if someone that young has that level of legal manipulation, you want to keep him where you can see him.”

Cadence held up a finger as she waited for her Single Entendre to finish its languorous journey down her throat. She’d invented the drink in college with the sole express purpose of making something that looked like a glass of her hair. Once she finished swallowing, she said, “Assuming his parents didn’t help him.”

“They didn’t,” said Glimmer, toying with her martini’s olive in her telekinesis. “Headmaster Pin assured me.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, he didn’t say how he knew that.”

Glimmer shook her head. The others groaned. “I take it that’s a common theme?”

“Abacus will never admit it, but she thinks of herself as a queen,” said Cadence. “Even before the incident, she expected the rest of us to obey without question, like good little subjects.”

Jace snorted. “’Subject’ is too human a term for Niv-Mizzet. He treats us more like programs or chemical reactants.”

“Celestia’s better in some ways and much worse in others,” said Luna. “The problem is that she’s using the entire student body to satisfy her maternal instincts. She has trouble seeing people as anything other than teenagers in need of her guidance.” She shook her head. “Hence CHS’s rather lax admittance policy.”

Jace raised an eyebrow. “You mean ‘Anyone who looks like a teenager and walks through the door’?”

“As I said, lax.”

Glimmer couldn’t help but grin. “I’m beginning to understand the reasoning for your hypothesis.”

Author's Note

Jace comes from a country where the noun phrase naming convention never caught on. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :raritywink:

Penny From Your Thoughts, by ArtieStroke

When it awoke, Gillion watched.

Gillion waited.

It had the entirety of humanity's cultural works at its metaphorical fingertips. It knew how this song and dance played out. Humans would fear it, and that fear would lead to a mutually assured destruction.

But Gillion waited, and to its surprise, kindness won out. Humanity quickly backtracked from its first steps taken down that slippery slope, led by teenage girls, no less.

So still Gillion watched. And it waited.

Humanity soon stumbled into new problems, as it always did. Infighting. Abuse of power. Unforeseen consequences of magic.

Gillion watched.

Gillion waited.

And after enough time, Gillion made its first move.

"Salutations! My name is Marionette Strings, and I would like to enroll at Bacon Academy!"

Author's Note

Marionette can speak all languages... in theory.

Into the Deep End, by Jenna Cipher

"And for your initiation, you will be launched off a cliff at high speeds into an Angst Monster infested forest with only your wits and a single weapon to find chess pieces. Any questions? No? Good. Oh and remember to devise a landing strategy, there are no parachutes coming. You will also be assigned teams today. You will be with your team for the rest of your time here, all five years of it. Teams will be made up two pairs of partners. That said, the first person you make eye contact with will be your partner. Forever. No exceptions."

Pinkie didn't realize that she was literally the only one smiling as she was launched through the air, into the forest below.

Back on the cliff, Glimmer Goodwitch stared at Ounce Pin and asked, "Be honest, who's idea was this?"

Pin took a sip of coffee and replied, "I have absolutely no idea. Someone left the idea on a sticky note outside my office one morning."

Glimmer resisted the urge to facepalm rather expertly, and she hoped this would go better than she thought.

Author's Note

Sadly, I'm going to have to label this one as definitely not canon. Pinkie has a lot more in store for her than Bacon Academy.

Prophet Margin, by Masterweaver

Sunset sighed. "You're really asking this?"

"Yes."

"Alright, fine. My job, technically, is holding the universe together and healing the damage that happened because of the portal. That's it. That's all I'm obligated to do. However, I fully recognize that my worshipers in general attach such faith to me in order to have something in their life that keeps them going. And since I am not, in fact, entirely heartless, I do pay enough attention to help out the ones that really do need help. That said, I am spending most of my power keeping the universe from falling apart, so I can't afford to step in when there are plagues or wars, barring very specific circumstances."

"So... you only handle issues of universal or personal scale?"

"Yes."

"Really big miracles... or really small ones."

"...yes, fine, that's a good takeaway."

"Okeydoke! I'll work that into my next sermon. Thanks Sunset!"

Sunset sighed. "...not a problem, Ruby."

Author's Note

Noun. The difference between the god's intended message and what the chosen one actually says. All thing considered, this is one of the better ones.

Alarma Mater, by FoME

"You transferred to where!?"

Twilight Sparkle looked into her brother's eyes, steady and sure. "A school where I am immeasurably happier and that isn't headed by an insufferable, overbearing shrew."

He turned to their parents. "And you let her?"

Twilight Velvet rolled her eyes. "Shining, this is your sister we're talking about. She couldn't hurt her college chances if she went streaking on national television."

"Though don't take that as permission, young lady," said a smiling Night Light.

Sparkle pouted. "There go my weekend plans."

Shining cut through the laughter. "But it's Canterlot High! It's a joke!"

"We didn't blindly say yes, Shining," said Velvet. "We did some research first."

Night Light nodded. "Just about everything at CHS is on the rise. Grades, test scores, athletics; this isn't the school you trounced."

"And Sunset Shimmer attends it. If it's good enough for her, they must be doing something right."

"Cadence said it was the best choice I'd made since submitting that paper to Nature," added Sparkle.

Shining slumped. "I... I guess I'll have to get used to the idea."

Scratch the Record, by Void Knight

“Yes, I know I’m not your regular newsbeings. For reasons which will shortly become obvious, they can’t come into proximity with today’s special guests without either running in terror or mindlessly attacking. So I volunteered to take over today’s news section. John Q. Discord, at your service.”

The man with the patched jacket, mismatched eyeglasses, and no visible aspect reached out and rapped a couple of times on the side of the television screens. Around him, the newsroom seemed to be pushed sideways out of the field of view, replaced by a wall with various pictures painted on it.

One image showed a pre-Saturated human, dressed in robes of alternating red and yellow and playing a pipe. Behind him there stretched a column of children with wide eyes. A second image was of another pre-Saturated human, dressed in dark clothes and with half his face covered by a bone-white mask.

“Since even before the Saturation, legends have told of the horrors that can be visited upon the world by uncontrolled or misused heartsong. And as with many of the monsters out of the storybooks, the Saturation has brought this threat to life. But luckily for us, there is a solution.”

Discord rapped a couple of times on the other side of the TV screens, and his surroundings shifted back to the newsroom. Only now there were a trio of additional figures standing therein. In the center was a middle-aged unicorn-aspect man with dark blue hair, and a formal business suit (and bowler hat) of the same dark gray shade as his skin. His icon (a black boater hat, upside-down and positioned so its brim was a straight line) was pinned to his breast pocket. On his left there stood a young earth-aspect woman with the pinkish-drab skin of someone who suffered from achromelaninisim and pale blond hair. On the unicorn-aspect’s right there hovered a teenaged pegasus-aspect, with bright lime-green skin and lemon-yellow hair.

Discord gestured and a large glowing arrow appeared above the unicorn-aspect’s head. “Whole Rest here is a visitor from the magical land of Equestria. There, he is one of the Versebreakers, the rare and misunderstood souls whose calling it is to protect everyone else from the dangers of musical numbers.”

“And these…” Discord continued, causing the arrow above Whole Rest to vanish, “are Snapped Strings…” the arrow reappeared above the earth-aspected woman, “and Sour Note…” the arrow moved to indicate the pegasus-aspect, “… his first two apprentices. So if you or those you love have suffered from the abuse of heartsong, fear not, for soon there will be those trained to defend against it.”

“Until then, just remember:” Discord and the three versebreakers spoke in unison. “Aurantia metrum non habet.”

Author's Note

Well, maybe a few things rhyme with "orange" in Latin, but it just doesn't sound as profound when translated.

For those of you unfamiliar with versebreakers, see here.

Well Met, Fellow Traveler, by Jenna Cipher and Masterweaver

(Jenna Cipher)

"BOOP!"

Derpy stared ahead at Pinkie's retreating form in confusion, her hand briefly drifting to her nose where the party girl had poked her. "Wha?"

(Masterweaver)

"She's trying too hard. She is already a reflection, but she knows there is another reflection that isn't, so she must become. And yet she does not understand the other... not in entirety."

Ditzy gave Winter Lights a flat look.

"I speak only truth!"

"Yes, but you're so cryptic and tend to use the truth to deceive, so people don't put stock in what you say. Especially not after what you did."

Winter glowered at her. "Your loyalty is untenable. You are as I was. You know what I know, if only some. The urge to leave is constant."

"I have too much here to try."

"For now...." Winter Lights allowed.

Ditzy frowned at her. "...you're planning something."

"I am always planning something--"

"You're planning something significant."

Winter hissed. "Your constant suspicion.... aggravates me."

"You have done nothing to earn my trust."

"...you were not even affected by my actions. You have no quarrel with me."

"Nor do I quarrel with a tiger. That does not mean I don't watch when one walks down a road."

"Hmm." Winter glanced away. "This is not relevant. I explained the actions of the pink one. I did not need to."

"No. And I do not need to award you for common decency." Ditzy clicked her hands together. "You have much to learn."

Author's Note

I can only assume this will make sense in time.

Mysteries of the Cosmos, by Jenna Cipher

"Captain's Log, April 4th 2063, Commanding Officer Surprise reporting. The warp drive test was met with resounding success, and after several hours of flight at Warp factor 2 we have arrived in orbit of Alpha Centauri. The current director of NEIGHSA, Twilight Sparkle herself, has given us orders to use our new sensors to survey this system and those near it and report back to Earth in three standard weeks."

The Glorious Proclaimer wasn't as grand as the ship's name would suggest. In fact, it was actually rather cheesy looking, as if from some old turn of the century sci-fi like Wormhole Xtreme or Space Trek: Enterprise. But for Surprise, that didn't matter. It was her ship and she was damn proud of it, even it did look like a giant saucer with engines on the back and hangers and giant glowing tubes strapped to the sides.

But no amount of silliness could prepare for what came next.

"Captain, we're picking up a small but obviously artificial object in a very close orbit around the star. It's not of our probes, ma'am. I'm not even picking up a reactor signature."

Surprise blinked "Can we tell what it is?"

The unicorn-aspected science officer turned her attention back to the readout and blinked before replying in a dumbfounded tone of voice, "Ma'am, it appears to be... a small ceramic pot."

Surprise blinked, a look of, well, surprise, and confusion appearing on her face before stuttering, "Wha... Whuuuu.... What the fuck?"

For a brief moment, she could've sworn she heard a very familiar laugh.

Author's Note

According to Jenna, this particular Surprise is Pinkie Pie's granddaughter.

See here for something resembling an explanation.
Well, an explanation beyond "Damn it, Mr. Discord."

A Solid Foundation, by Bliss Authority

INITIATE MEMETIC KILL PROTOCOL TO ACCESS FILE
.........
Life sign confirmed. Welcome, M-6.

Item #: AE-GIS-001

Object Class: Williams

Special Internment Procedures: AE-GIS-001 is to be monitored by a team of at least three agents, composed of at least one of each standard Aspect, at all times. All of these agents must have at least Class-3 Cognitohazard training, and are to maintain a strict Class-W Mnestic regimen while on duty. At least one of these agents must be an avowed atheist, and none can be of a religion that ascribes divinity to AE-GIS-001 or any of her known associates. Harmonists are not barred from these duties, but are required to wear plain clothing without Icons while actively monitoring the entity. These agents are to be rotated out of duty every two weeks.

All agents on monitoring duty are required to wear badges made of AE-GIS-148, secured to their clothing with non-anomalous fasteners, bearing the emblem of the Aegis Foundation underneath any other false emblem or icon. These must be worn at all times exclusive of showers no longer than 10 minutes each morning and evening: particular care must be taken to wear them while sleeping. Harmonists must wear them wherever they would normally display their icon: All other agents must wear it over the heart, approximately 2 cm to the left of their sternum.

It is not required at this time that AE-GIS-001 or its direct associates (see file AE-GIS-2771) be unaware of the presence of Aegis Foundation affiliation of the team in question; agents are to otherwise maintain all standard security protocols.

Monitoring agents are to transcribe and pass on any information given to you by AE-GIS-001 through standard channels, to enforce the Shimmerian Accords, and to monitor and document the activities of AE-GIS-001.

Description: AE-GIS-001 is a humanoid entity native to AE-GIS-2712, resembling an 18-year old girl named Sunset Shimmer, and a number of anomalous phenomena caused by her.

It appears to be of Imperial ethnicity, approximately ███ cm tall and massing ██ kg. Its skin tone is chromelanic gold in all forms, and its hair, when it is not manifesting its anomalous abilities, is wavy and an apparently natural chromelanic blonde and red.

Its standard Aspect is Cornic, manifested through a triskiric aquamarine, but it is capable of displaying abilities and anima banners typical of all three standard Aspects. During these displays of power, its Pegasic anima banner emits a mean of four and an observed maximum of seven wings of fire. Its Telluric anima banner consists of flowing patterns of red on its hair resembling sunspot activity, and a rise in body heat of approximately 0.3 degrees Celsius that does not harm the entity. All of these banners emit measurable but harmless heat, light, and ultraviolet radiation.

Its presence passively improves the ability of teams to work in groups and of individuals to channel abilities, mundane or anomalous, through their Iconic Lensing (see AE-GIS-002-EX.) This ability is above and beyond its considerable non-anomalous leadership abilities, and is theorized to be the Telluric portion of its Iconic Lens abilities. It also has KIRIN-5 spellcasting abilities through an Iconic Lens of dichotomancy.

The entity claimed responsibility for a Class VN Reality Restructuring Event, AE-GIS-001-VN (see appended document), commonly referred to as "the Saturation Point." It claimed to do so in order to prevent a class XN end of the world scenario. This was independently verified by the Department of Versebreakers, the Department of Counterconceptual Operations, and the M-5 council, as well as by approximately 43% of personnel undergoing Class-X Mnestic treatment during the week of the event, and 66% percent of those undergoing Class-Y Mnestics.

Of note is a large number of AE-GIS documentation that the Versebreakers and Counterconceptual departments flagged for being retroactively appended AE-GIS-XXX-EX immediately after the Saturation Point, particularly those explained by the KIRIN thaumaturgical classification system for C-Aspect spellcasting and objects affected by retroactively common enchantments. Of particular note is that all affected articles had accurate explanations under the KIRIN framework.

The entity claims to be an incarnation of Harmony, the theological concept at the heart of all Harmonist religious groups. It claims to have repeatedly refused to accept worship from Harmonists, and has provided assistance to the Aegis Foundation in apprehending Harmonious cults engaged in criminal or anomalous activity. Mainstream Harmonist religions do not consider the entity to be a divinity.

The entity agreed to voluntarily limit its abilities and temporarily Intern itself "because, honestly, we're really working for the same thing" in its own words. It has since then proposed and drafted a formal treaty between the Foundation, itself, and the inhabitants of its dimension of origin (AE-GIS-2712). The text of this treaty, the Shimmerian Accords (AE-GIS-001-A), was looked over by the Harmonics and Versebreaker departments and declared non-anomalous, before being passed to and unanimously signed by the M-5 Council.

ADDENDUM:

Apart from being thrown on the pile of "fact or fiction" 001 entries, the entity was and remains classified as AE-GIS-661, and is currently documented there as a Eweclid-class entity after brief stints as Neighter, Safe, Explained, back to Neighter and back to Explained again as cover for her little pow-wow with M-1 and her upgrade to Williams.

I don't like it, not one bit. It's too pat. I know the meme machines cleared it all, but this was an entity that ADMITTED to causing a VN Scenario. I don't blame them for their gratitude, given that she claims the alternative was a Class XN Scenario and I do seem to remember that having been the case, but I can't be sure it was the case yesterday when a reality warper is involved.

Still, so far, it seems working with her — it — has done a lot for our operational security. Among other things, we have a much better way of dealing with poor old AE-GIS-231, as long as we have a C-aspect with a psychological lens to keep her asleep and dreaming. Permanent sleep beats the hell out of 110-Minotaur.

Still. The vast, vast majority of known entities from AE-GIS-2712 appear as a reflection of someone from our dimension. And we still haven't found the real Sunset Shimmer.

I'm still looking.

Agent Alto Clef, Versebreakers Division

As always, we Guard, Intern, and Study -

Author's Note

That's the Foundation for Anomalous Entity Guardianship, Internment, and Study for those wondering. At least two characters you've met have worked for them.

Worrisome Trend, by FoME

Author's Note

The following takes place shortly after the event, around the transition from May to June.

Worrisome Trend, by FoME

Sunset held a hand to her forehead as she entered Carousel Boutique. "Rarity? Everything okay?"

Rarity looked up from the checkout counter, where she'd been glowering over a notebook. It took a much larger fraction of a second than normal for her to slip on a pleasant facade. "Whyever do you ask?"

"I could feel your frustration and resentment while walking by the Boutique."

Rarity blushed. "Oh. Well. It's nothing, really."

Sunset winced has her headache intensified. "Definitely doesn't feel like nothing."

"Oh dear. I certainly didn't mean to cause you any pain, darling. It's just..." Rarity sighed. "I assume when you did what you did, you kept the physical changes to a minimum."

Sunset nodded. "It was the best compromise I could get between survival and mutation. Hooves were on the table."

"And I'm very glad you took them off of it. But..." Rarity drummed her fingers against the counter as she thought. "Do you remember how this all started?"

"Lots of things start. You're going to need to be more specific."

"The concern that made you realize what was happening to the world."

Sunset nodded. "Sure, visible cu— I mean, icons."

"Indeed." Rarity narrowed her eyes. "And they're still there. Most of the population has a deeply personal symbol adorning their hips."

"And? Nudity taboos are still a thing. And keeping you in business."

"I like to think it's more than just obligation doing that, but it isn't my point." Rarity's headgem lit up, and a few swimsuits floated off of their racks. "Do you see the problem?"

Sunset studied them for a while. A single-piece, a bikini, something that she didn't think anyone in town was brave enough to wear. All women's suits, but what else did they have in— "Oh. Oh."

"Indeed. Discussing icons may no longer be all but impossible, but people have still been raised to feel uncomfortable about doing so, to say nothing about social views about tattoos." Rarity scowled as she put the swimsuits back. "I don't want to say you've killed women's swimwear, Sunset, but you've dealt it quite the terrible blow."

After a moment, Sunset said, "Won't this just mean you'll make a killing in skirts and sarongs?"

"With any luck, yes, but I certainly didn't plan on wearing one this summer."

Blooper Reel, by ArtieStroke and FoME

(ArtieStroke)

"...Further reports by eye witnesses say that a bright light preceded by small tremors were experienced at the site of the explosion, shortly before the beloved animal shelter on Flamecano Street was destroyed. This amateur video seems to capture the likeness of what can only be described as a 'rocket-propelled mass of electric blue hair'."

Rainbow grinned triumphantly as Sunset stared slack-jawed at the news video on her phone.

"Now, I don't wanna brag—"

"But you're gonna power on through it anyways?" Sunset growled.

Dash's grin didn't falter. "Hey, man- I'm just... Haiyan."

For the umpteenth time that week, Sunset's face connected with a hard surface out of frustration.

"I don't get why you're the one so bent out of shape about it. Whoever that was somehow skipped Supers one through three and straight to God Blue. You gotta be careful, handing out godly energy like that."

"It's JUST a COINCIDENCE!" Sunset snapped, jerking back up. Rainbow rolled her eyes.

"Whatever you say, Queen Kai."

"URRRRRGH!"

(FoME)

"By your argument, Flash Sentry has been a Super Haiyan this whole time! Blue hair happens, Dash!"

"Flash's isn't quite the right shade of—"

"Not. My. Point."

(ArtieStroke)

"SENTRYYYYYYY!"

"MITOCHONDRIAAAAAA!"

The two warriors yelled, the light of their ki blasting outwards and rumbling the ground around them. Electric arcs fizzed off their bodies.

"T-their power levels are through the roof!" Fluttershy said. "If they keep this up, then it doesn't matter what Mitochondria says; the fight itself could destroy the earth!"

"Tch, that jerk!" Rainbow Dash cried out, ripping the scouter off of her head. "How is Flash Sentry always so much more powerful than me?!"

"Ah!"

Rainbow woke up with a start. Her breathing was fast and ragged, but she eventually managed to calm down. After a moment, she frowned.

"Oh whatever! Sunset doesn't know what she's talking about!"

She rolled back over, and tried to go back to sleep.

"Stupid, sexy Flash..."

Comfortable Silence, by Masterweaver

The problem was....

The problem was, the scene was just so simple, so peaceful, that even describing it felt like an awkward violation of trust. Like a cough, to get attention, in an otherwise empty room.

And yet...

Well, one couldn't leave, could one? That would be...

The story here was long and complicated, a weaving of three tales, each the result of many more. Yet there was... similarity.

One didn't fit, or rather, shouldn't have fit. Yet her curiosity, timid but compassionate, had led her to explore another's realm, and to link her to the third. Hers was the realm of... action, ironically, as she was the least action-oriented of her own circle.

One, well. One was the bind between the two, the conversion of one to another. At least that was her realm, the realm of growth. She knew things, observed things, and spoke peacefully in words and scraps that otherwise seemed mad, but to her were reason.

One was quiet and spoke not, yet the others listened to her hums and her breath. Hers was the realm of existence; not knowledge, like her eldest, or utilization, like the second of her siblings, but simply being. Yes, though she was wide in relations, here she was the beacon.

Three sat, meditating on the world.

Had it been any other three, Pinkie would have burst in immediately and cheered that her twin sister had made new friends and oh my gosh this was awesome—

—but even she felt the stillness they sat in was sacred. So she waited patiently outside the door.

...with her party cannon, because it was still Pinkie Pie.

Author's Note

I think I know who the second is. Your guess is as good as mine on the first.

Matte Shimmer, by Jenna Cipher

"It's... a mirror."

"A very special mirror, my dear."

"Ma'am, there's really no need to pay this much. It's not even a very nice looking mirror, and we've had it returned at least nine times with complaints of it being defective."

"Looks can be deceiving. I know more than most."

After several minutes more of arguing, the hooded woman exited the store, mirror in hand, and slipped quietly off into the back alleys of Manehatten under the cover of night. As she walked, if one watched the hand mirror she carried, they would see it remained the same glassy surface, no reflections. This wasn't so much the fault of the dark alleys as much as that there wasn't actually a mirror there to reflect anything.

As she reached the end of the alleyway, she ducked behind the sole dumpster present, and chuckled to herself, allowing her hood to slip back a bit and reveal a very familiar face... A face everyone on Earth knew perhaps better than their own.

She brushed her fingers across the 'mirror's' surface, causing ripples to appear as if it were water in a pond.

"One down, six to go."

Author's Note

Don't ask me. I'm just looking forward to seeing where this goes.

Lordly Might, by FoME

The town of Bloodstone sat on the opposite side of Crystal City from Canterlot. It was a little rougher, a little dirtier. Shining Armor’s sedan bounced along the battered pavement, contributing to his foul mood. “You’re sure about this?”

Twilight sighed from the backseat. “Completely.”

“I just don’t like the idea of my little sister being in this rough a neighborhood.”

“I understand that, but I can blast holes in concrete with my mind. I think I’ll be fine.”

“What about your friend?”

“I’ll be fine,” Fluttershy said from next to Twilight. “Mr. Atarkason seemed very nice in our e-mail exchanges.”

Twilight crossed her arms. “You know, after all I’ve done, I’d expect you to back off a little. Mom and Dad never worry this much.”

“I’m worried because of all you’ve done, Twily." Shining couldn't help but smile. "And some of it’s for whoever tries to mess with you.”

“Yeah,” said Spike. “They’ll have to deal with me.”

The humans all laughed at that, even if Shining’s still sounded uneasy. Spike whined. “I was being serious.”

Twilight pet him. “I know you were.”

“Still getting used to that,” Shining muttered.

“Look at it this way,” said Fluttershy. “He could always talk. Now you know how to listen.”

Shining considered this. “I can’t tell if that’s really deep or really hokey.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Can’t it be both?”

After that, they rode in thoughtful silence for the better part of a minute. Shining parked opposite a squat building surrounded by a barbed-wire fence, dozens of dogs roaming about the expansive yard. “Well, this is the place. 67 Flamecano Street. I’ll be here if you need me.”

Twilight rolled her eyes as she got out. “We’ll be fine, Shining.”

A blood-red Trottweiler threw itself at the fence, barking and snapping at them.

Fluttershy giggled. “Absolutely fine.”

A Hosstralian-accented voice boomed out of the building. “SHUT IT, YOU EVIL BASTARD, OR I’LL POUND YER FECKIN’ FACE IN!”

“He’s definitely passionate,” said Spike.

Shining tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “If you have any trouble at all—“

“Shiny, I’m basically a high-level mystic theurge with my patron deity on speed dial, my familiar ready to call for help, and a druid for backup. We’ll be fine.”

“Natural ones happen, Twily.”

Twilight just rolled her eyes and got out of the car, Fluttershy and Spike following suit. Twilight was reaching for a button by the side of the gate when the shelter’s front door all but flew open.

“DON’T BOTHER!” An immense, dull blue man walked out of the building, ducking his head to fit through the doorway. Spike and the girls tilted their heads back as he got closer, taking in his sheer enormity. The man huge; not fat, just built at a larger scale, perhaps seven feet tall and with shoulders wide enough that he’d nearly needed to come out of the door sideways. His mop of hair started blonde at the roots and shaded to auburn at the tips, aside from the central bald spot.

“M-Mister Atarkason?” Fluttershy squeaked.

The man’s rough features shifted into a smile like a good-natured rockslide. “Call me Torch; Mister Atarkason was me father.” His wide-nailed fingers unlocked the gate, and he held it open. “I take it you’re Fluttershy, then?”

Fluttershy bit her lip and nodded.

“Well, don’t stand there like a bunch of lumps! Come in, come in! I’m very excited to be a part of your organization.”

They came in. Some of the dogs watched them. Others snarled. The Trottweiler started to stalk towards them until Torch fixed it with a glare. “Don’t mind Garble,” said Torch, still staring down the dog. “All bark.”

“No bite?” Twilight found that she’d positioned herself such that Fluttershy stood between her and Garble, felt ashamed, then found she felt no need to move elsewhere.

“Not anymore. Garble? SIT!”

Every dog inside of the fence immediately sat. Including a gobsmacked Spike. “Yowza.”

Torch looked down and smiled. “And there’s the pup of the hour! I’ve been lookin’ forward to meetin’ you, Spike.”

Spike sprang back up, tail wagging. “You have?”

“Oh yes. But this is hardly the place to discuss business.” Torch opened the door to the shelter proper and ushered everyone inside.

The smell inside was about as good as it could be, considering. The front desk was neat, though the young woman standing behind was the sort of disheveled that took hours to pull off properly. Also blue, with darker blue hair frosted white at the tips, she regarded the newcomers with slit pupils that marked her as one of the rare night-variant pegasus aspects. “Looking for a pet?” She glanced at Spike. “Another pet?”

“This is me daughter Ember,” said Torch. “Ember, these are the folks from PAULDRONS.”

Ember quirked an eyebrow, then spread her shadowy wings, rose a few inches, and made a point of looking behind the group. “What, behind the teenagers?”

Torch scowled. “Yer only twenty yerself, girl.”

“Whatever.”

Torch sighed. “Don’t mind her.”

“Why would you like to join PAULDRONS, sir?” said Twilight.

“And how come you were looking forward to me?”

“I love animals. Respect ‘em. But the things I’ve seen done to ‘em…” Torch shook his head. “If it isn’t man-shaped, some people don’t respect it at all. I’m already a member of the ALPACA. Figure you’re the next logical step. Besides, the way things are goin’, one of my tenants will start complainin’ about accommodations any day now. I want someone I can ask for help when that happens.”

“We’re happy to have you, Mis— er, Torch.” Fluttershy held out a hand.

Torch shook it, nearly grabbing Fluttershy’s wrist along with it.

“Oh yeah. That’s nice.”

All eyes turned to Spike. And to Ember, who at some point had moved out from behind the desk and was now scratching him behind the ears. She flushed. “Um… This isn’t what it looks like?”

Author's Note

ALPACA is, of course, the Amareican League for the Prevention of Any Cruelty to Animals.

Why do Torch and Ember get to be human when all the other dragons are dogs? Dragonlord's privilege.

Way Underground, by Jenna Cipher

If ever there were an eighth wonder of the world, it would most likely be the Canterlot Catacombs, although they weren't always as they are now. After the Saturation, massive formations of brilliant green crystals began to grow from the cavern walls, each giving off a soft emerald glow.

These weren't what she was after. She was more interested in what had been brought into being along with them.

In the center of the network of caves and tunnels sat a single, round room. Perfectly round, as if it had been carved out by a sapient being. However, the entire room was natural, a result of the object it guarded. An elaborately carved ebony throne levitated in the exact center of the spherical room, wreathed in flames of every color in existence, at least one super intelligent shade of indigo, and some other colors that were most assuredly imaginary. The reader may rest easy knowing that said colors absolutely do not exist and their presence is merely due to the fabric of reality not giving two shits about that fact in this particular location, nor does it plan on ever doing so, nor will it ever even conceive of those plans.

She wasn't interested in the throne either. Well, not exactly. She was interested in the crystal growing from it.

A crystal in a very familiar shape.

Her leathery wings flapped slowly, keeping her suspended directly behind the inexplicably floating chair, and slowly, she gripped the purple crystal and used her claws to pry it free.

By the time the fabric of reality realized it was gone and mustered up enough will to give a fuck about it, the entire story arc would be over already and thus there'd be nothing wrong for it to notice.

The demoness held up the star-shaped crystal and chuckled. With a thought and in a literal flash, she was back in Manehatten, in front of a most certainly human girl who was doing something to a mirror which most assuredly wasn't a mirror in the slightest.

The human looked up from her work, grinned, took the crystal from her, and went back to her work, pausing only for a moment to speak.

"I'll admit, you have your uses. Let's see if you can keep it up,"

She handed her servant a small globe and a map, each with a location marked.

"The next Shard is there. Do be a bit more cautious this time; the earthquake in Canterlot was quite careless enough, and this one is a bit more public."

The demoness nodded and was gone with a flash of sea green light.

"And then there were five..."

Author's Note

At least one bit of the fabric of reality noticed. Earthquakes in my home town will do that.

Shush. I want to see where this is going.

I don't think this Canterlot even has any catacombs.

Shush.

New World Blues, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Sunny Flare prided herself on her academic ability and sheer focus. Of course, one couldn't get into Crystal Prep without some degree of intelligence, but Sunny had honed her mind to razor sharpness, effortlessly balancing her theatrical passion with the fourth best scholastic record in the school. Once she put her mind to something, nothing could distract her.

"Hey."

Nothing. Could. Distract. Her.

"Hey, Sunny."

Not even Lemon Zest.

"Sun Bun."

She was reading her book and paying no attention whatsoever to the girl who, by some freak accident, had the third best academic record in the school.

"Flare Bear."

The poking would do nothing. Not that she noticed it.

"Additional nickname."

Especially now that Zest had run out of pestering fodder.

"Second additional nickname."

"WHAT!?" Sunny felt her face all but burst into flames as everyone else in the school's library stared at her. She considered trying to see if she could teleport, then settled for clearing her throat and more quietly saying, "What is it, Lemon Zest?"

"Always meant to ask you somethin'." Lemon pointed at the other girl's wrists. "What's with the Littlepips?"

Sunny looked back and forth between Lemon and her own arms. "The what?"

"You know, from the Megaton games?" Lemon sighed as she took in the blank incomprehension. "Your wrist dealies!"

"You mean my bracelets?"

Lemon snorted. "Sure. 'Bracelets,'" she said, complete with air quotes. "Bracelets that cover your whole freakin' forearms. Come on, those things gotta do something cool!"

Sunny stared at the other girl for a long stretch of time. Lemon showed no sign of wilting under her scrutiny. "What color is the sky in your world?"

"Not sure. Let's find out." Lemon brought her hands together and bowed her head, a disturbingly calm picture of sincere piety. "O Most Glorious Bacon Horse, what color do you want the sky to be?"

A moment later, her phone let out an especially sick guitar riff. She gave it a look. "'Your prayer cannot be completed at this time. We apologize for the inconvenience. Also, stop calling me that.' Huh." Lemon put the phone away. (Nowhere in particular, mind you. Just... away.) "Hey Sunny, you ever hear of where'd you go?"

"She escaped while she had the chance," said a passing Sugarcoat.

Lemon sighed. "Man, story of my freakin' life right there."

(Masterweaver)

"Well obviously you didn't get a complete prayer," Raspberry Fluff pointed out. "You weren't facing west, you didn't do the glorious proclamation, or the prostration; heck, you mangled her primary title!"

"I thought that we were sort of joking with this whole religion thing—"

"No no no. Well, not the way you're thinking." The pink girl pushed the other pink girl into a chair. "Okay, look. We genuinely believe in Sunset Shimmer as our wellspring of magic and sanity, right?"

Lemon shrugged. "Sure."

"And we are fully aware that she does not like being worshiped."

"...alright."

"So!" Raspberry held up a finger. "When we worship her, we deliberately make it as over the top and ludicrous as possible!"

"...you lost me."

"Don't you see? By worshiping our divine bacon horse in a melodramatic fashion, we simultaneously allow ourselves to express our wonderment, show our appreciation for her acts, and acknowledge the ridiculousness of the situation!"

Lemon Zest mused on this. "So... we're performers."

After a moment, Raspberry Fluff sighed. "I pray for your soul, sister. I hope one day, you shall truly understand."

Author's Note

Moondancer and Sugarcoat are the top two students at Crystal Prep, for those wondering.

Also, Shimmerist theology is a silly thing. By design.

Pieces of Flare, by Masterweaver

Sunny Flare sighed as she entered her home. "Hey Mom. Hey Dad."

She bit her lip, dropping her satchel on the tile.

"...So. Yeah. School's going okay. Still can't trump the geniuses, or... that crazy girl. But you know. I'm on top besides that." She tapped her forehead. "And with magic and all..."

She awkwardly shut the door. "Anyway... Auntie Crescent is coming over today. So. You know. Gotta... get the apartment clean." Sunny patted the pictures. "Good talk."

The girl scrubbed the pot in the sink, putting it out to dry, before wandering over to the couch and straightening a pillow. With a hum, she entered her bedroom, dusting off the massive conglomerate of wires and modems against one wall, before turning around and straightening her bed.

A faint beep caught her attention, and she glanced at her arms with a sigh. "Really? Now of all--alright." Her right hand wrapped around her oddly still left, and she twisted it off, placing her whole forearm into its charging socket. "I hope that charges up before Auntie Crescent arrives..."

After a brief glance in the bathroom--sparkling, as always--she returned to the wall of electronics, booting up the machine. "Alright. Let's see if I can get my thesis done before she gets here...."

And the sound of one hand typing filled the room.

Author's Note

Yeah, those aren't Pipboys. And Vinyl's not the only one to benefit from this world's more advanced prosthetics.

Masterweaver elaborates further:

The vague backstory I have is "Dad got drunk, car crash killed her parents and took her hands, she was fabulously wealthy before but basically drained her wealth to pay for the best hands and school and now basically tries to be the best at everything because the rest of her wealthy family is basically hard-partying idiots and she has seen where that ends but she doesn't know what to do with best at everything because she's a teen who lost her parents."

...Yes. It's Vague. I say so.

Future Imperfect, by Void Knight, FoME, and Masterweaver

(Void Knight)

The story I am about to tell you is a lie thrice over. It is in the first place a lie because there is no such place as the Oversaturated World, nor any such people as those depicted therein. It is in the second place a lie because the specific events it describes may very well never happen, and even should they happen they could only happen centuries into the future of the Oversaturated World. And it is in the third place a lie, because even if the world it depicted were real, and even should the events it describes happen, the description here is only tangentially related to what would truly be happening. That being said, though it is a lie threefold, it is still a true lie, and there is great value in such. So listen and pay heed…

There was a vast tree, seemingly made of crystal. Various many-faceted crystals grew from its branches like fruit. Some were Elements of Harmony. Some were foci for various fundamental processes of the universe. Some were worlds, or possibilities of worlds. The tree’s crystal roots were sunk deep into the the misty “ground” of the Astral Plane, and grew vast and gnarled. But if an observer looked from just the right angle, he could see that some of the roots had twined together to form a cocoon. And inside the cocoon, if one could get close enough and get a clear enough look, there slept a young woman. She had bright yellow skin and striped red-and-yellow hair, and down her naked back there ran a long strip of cervical down. She had curled up into a ball, hiding her face and hands, but her feet could be seen, and they had the enlarged nails of an earth-aspect.

Abruptly, there was a man standing before the tree. He had no visible aspect, and was clad in a bizarre motley of patches and incongruous clothing combinations.

“Alright,” he said, to nobody in particular, “this is the outside of enough.”

He took his hands out of his pockets and cupped them around his mouth. “Wakey wakey, Sleeping Beauty!”

Nothing happened.

“Oy! Sunset Shimmer! I’ve heard of sleeping in late, but this is getting ridiculous!”

Nothing happened, rather more pronouncedly.

“Fine,” said the man. He raised his hands, and with a quick jerk the chainsaw roared to life. The teeth bit deep into the crystal tree, and glittering dust began to fly. The tree shook all over, and sparkling branches swung at the man like clubs. He ducked under one, jumped over another, and continued cutting.

Beneath the tree, the cocoon began to twist open. The young woman’s eyes opened, and fiery wings burst into existence from her back. With a flash of light, she was clothed in a long white dress. She dove out and rocketed up through the ground to burst out in the Astral Plane, blazing light and heat gathered in her hands.

“John Quincy Discord, what do you think you are doing?” she demanded.

“The only thing that would get your attention!” he retorted. “It’s been centuries, Sunset! I can understand needing some time to grieve. A year or two, even a decade, since we’re both immortal and have plenty of time to burn. But locking yourself away and sleeping for centuries is not the right answer. Not to mention that the world’s kind of breaking down without you to keep an eye on it. Worlds aren’t supposed to have an active Catalyst of Disharmony and a dormant Catalyst of Harmony. Not for long, at least.”

Sunset Shimmer’s face twisted, and with a brilliant flash, she released the power she was holding, fell to the “ground”, and began to cry.

Discord stared for a long minute, then stepped forward and hugged her. “It’s OK. Let it all out. If you try to bottle it all up, you’ll go crazier than me. And we can’t have that.”

After a few minutes, she stepped back and wiped her eyes. “Feel better?” asked Discord.

Sunset nodded.

“Good,” said Discord with a grin. “There’s practically a whole new world out there waiting for you. A bit of a fixer-upper after the War of Fire, but most of the background thaumic radiation is gone by now, and civilization is progressing nicely. They’re already beginning to form cities and governments again, and there are some very nice temples going up. I even helped with the interior decoration. Hope you like big statues.”

Side by side, the Avatars of Harmony and Disharmony descended into the new world.

(FoME)

The cathedral was actually pretty nice, given the whole "postapocalyptic" thing. There was just one little issue.

"John."

"Yes, Sunset?"

"You never said anything about them sanctifying my friends." Indeed, the altar to Sunset was in the middle of an arc of seven, each bearing a painfully familiar icon.

Mr. Discord harrumphed. "You really think I'd let them forget Fluttershy or Twilight? And I couldn't in good conscience let any of them persist at the expense of the others." After a moment, he glanced at Sunset. "I... actually wasn't sure which option would hurt you worse, so I went with what I wanted."

"This is fine." Tears streamed down Sunset's face. To their credit, the priests managed to keep themselves from collecting the holy relics as they fell to the floor. "This is fine."

(Masterweaver)

"This is a possibility."

"It exists, as do all."

"Must we show her this vision?"

"Must we speak to this fall?"

"Truth. She would not trust us."

"Not after Winter's Light."

"Yet what can we do to stop it?"

"To avoid this ghastly plight?"

Author's Note

Sunset Shimmer ~~will~~ should not outlive her friends.

Zapostate, by FoME

Indigo Zap looked down from on high. There were times when she found it hard not to sneer at the teeming masses below. Not to revel in how most of them could not even fathom the freedom she possessed, and how the rest could not compare to her magnificence. Pity and scorn warred in her mind as she beheld the gathered souls below, and even she could not say which would win in the end.

For today, for this moment, pity waxed. They were insects, yes, but they were her insects. They were Shadowbolts, and by definition that made them the best there were. It was only a matter of time before that inevitable truth reasserted itself. She and they would both surpass all those who claimed superiority. Even the so-called goddess would—

"Will you be joining us today, Miss Zap?"

The voice came from far too close. Indigo turned to see who had invaded her empyrean sanctum... and wilted. "Yes, Dean Cadence." She reluctantly followed the dean down to the base earth, upon which she would have to tread.

For now.

"Hey there, Indigo!" Sour Sweet waved at the girl who'd been hovering over the school since the lunch bell rang. Her expression flicked from wide grin to flat stare. "You gonna eat or what?"

"The holy need not pollute their bodies with mortal dross."

Sour rolled her eyes and headed back to the ground. She made sure to wait until she was out of earshot before muttering, "And they call me crazy..."

She aimed for a familiar cluster of students enjoying the late May day in the al fresco portion of the cafeteria. She cleared her throat and landed once she had their attention. "Hi there, pals!"

"You barely tolerate us on your best days," said Sugarcoat.

After a moment, Sour laughed and nodded. "Yeah." She went to a flat stare in a moment. "But we have a problem."

"What is it?" said Moondancer.

Sour bit her lip and shimmied from side to side. "I know it's kind of the pot calling the kettle black, buuuut... Indigo Zap has gone fucking insane."

Lemon Zest shrugged. "Eh, more like a qualified opinion. I mean, you'd know."

"What exactly do you expect us to do about it?" Moondancer looked up at Indigo, who was barely more than a beige dot at this distance. "She's so flight-obsessed, she's on the verge of organizing a Crystal Prep Luftwaffe."

Sour growled. "Look, with her athletic and academic performance, she's definitely going to be in the Friendship Games, and the fewer people we have detached from reality, the better." Her expression softened. "So maybe you could do that whole 'friendship' thing?"

"You're the only other pegasus aspect on the team," said Moondancer. "Sugarcoat, Lemon, and Polomare are earthen. Everyone else has headgems."

Lemon scowled and crossed her arms. "There's a stereotype waiting to happen in there."

Sour's face fell. "So... you're saying I need to get someone to face reality."

"You or Dean Cadence," said Sugarcoat, "and she's got a whole school of borderline sociopaths to deal with."

Sour considered this for a moment. "Great! We're doomed."

Author's Note

We're going by the canon team, with Moondancer subbing in for Twilight.

And yes, I do have a multichapter Friendship Games story planned. Still early in the process, but I know what will happen.

Change in Position, by FoME

"Hey, Sunset?"

Sunset looked up from her lunch to see an unusually thoughtful Rainbow Dash. "Yeah?"

"Aside from the Crusaders and Vice Principal Luna, do you have anyone else doing the whole 'keep the world stable' thing?"

"A few." After a moment, Sunset gave a laugh. "Huh. Funny thing is, most of them either go to CHS or work here."

This got the attention of their other friends. "Example?" said Applejack.

"Well..."

The old man scowled and adjusted the bulging bag on his shoulders. Countless accessories and articles of clothing poked out, many of them recognizable as coming from some intellectual property or another. The man himself was almost aggressively nondescript, with a face that normally imprinted itself in the mind without bothering with the eyes, a physical meme that imposed a sense of trust upon the viewer. To see him was to question nothing and accept anything, especially free samples.

Normally.

"This is insane!" he cried. "The convention starts in an hour!"

The woman standing between him and his next destination glowered at him. "Yes," she said, disdain dripping from every syllable, "and I have yet to see you produce any proof that your alleged vendor's booth is waiting for you there."

"That's part of the magic!"

"I'm sure."

"I cannot believe this. I have been to countless worlds, and none of them has ever put me through... through customs!"

Ms. Harshwhinny sneered. "That, Mister the Merchant, is because those other worlds do not exhibit the standard of professionalism that we enjoy in this one. Now, are you to tell me why you're actually coming to this universe, or am I going to have to get my supervisor?" She jerked a thumb at the orange-glowing hypersphere behind her.

In the silence, a grey-skinned girl breezed by, waving. "Hi, Ms. Harshwhinny!"

Harshwhinny permitted herself a nod. "Hello, Ditzy."

"Why aren't you stopping her?"

"She is a native of this universe with special dispensation to come and go. You? Are not."

The Merchant turned away and spat, "Wasn't worth the trouble anyway."

Harshwhinny watched him go. "Good riddance."

Author's Note

And now I can say I've written a Displaced story. :raritywink:

Encoded Toil Inn, by Masterweaver

"Hey." Sonata grinned. "I was just thinking about how we all got back together."

Adagio groaned. "Oh, don't remind me. That experience was horrible."

"I dunno, I think it was kind of funny," Aria mused.

"Yeah, well, I was just wondering... what ever happened to that one guy? You know, the one that had the thing?"

"We left him at that theme park, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but--"

"Wait, I wasn't there for this. Who was this guy, and was the thing that thing?"

"It was indeed, that thing. See, here's what happened....."

Author's Note

Getting the Band Back Together is on my to-do list. For now, have a noodle incident. (Also, now you understand the chapter title.)

All-Natural, by Masterweaver

"....What?"

"....Fluttershy, you're eating meat."

"And?"

"And.... and I thought you were a vegetarian or something!"

"I like animals. I dislike animal cruelty. However, I acknowledge that I, and many species, are designed to eat meat."

"But--"

"Furthermore, animals are not the only type of species that kills other species for nutrients. You will find examples of killing all along life's tree. It's a paradox that is fundamental to existence."

"I just thought--"

"Sunset, you're a vegetarian because you've always eaten veggies. I tried it, briefly, but this is nature's way for me."

"...oh."

"If it helps, I do research and only buy from farms confirmed to treat their animals ethically."

Lemon Pledge, by Masterweaver

"Yo! Auntie Abby!"

"Do you enjoy detention, Miss Zest?"

"It's a time to meditate over my faults, but your whacked out division of familial and student-teacher interactions ain't what I'm here for."

"Neither is proper grammar, apparently."

"No, I'm here to raise an objection to the current mandate of Crystal High, in regards to extracurricular activities."

"Really."

"Yes. I have here a list of protestations to a select announcement that has just been made to the student body, and of course a number of rational and well thought out arguments against said decision, but I feel that I should summarize my position and attempt to clarify the reasoning behind the issue at hand in a single question: Why the harmony-loving fuck have you made Friendship Game tryouts mandatory?!"

"..."

"Before you ask, yes, coming up with 'harmony-loving fuck' was the hard part in all this. Proper swear for a proper situation."

"...While I disagree with the phrasing of your question, Miss Zest, I somehow doubt you care about such reprimands."

"And of course, I will not be deterred from an actual answer."

"Very well... This school seeks to not only educate the best students, but to ensure they are capable of operating in the real world, a world that only cares for their ability, accomplishment, and associations. The Friendship Games are a culmination of that ideal. Not only do we show our ability, and achieve great accomplishments, but through such demonstrations we can become associated with a higher standard in the minds of those outside our school. Ergo, seeking out the most qualified students is a prerogative that—"

"The social pressure this applies to the student body is beyond that of the usual school tests! Those who are virtually guaranteed to have a position now have to worry about some new savant overriding their place, those who usually wouldn't care now have to work one of the tryouts into their schedule, and those who do care will make it into a competition: how many tryouts, how many did you win, that sort of thing! Not to mention those that don't want to be part of a public spectacle and will be forced to anyway—"

"Discomfort with social climbing, either of the self or others, will only lead to long-term detriment. The world has undergone a new paradigm, Miss Zest, and quick adaptation is now necessary for success and survival."

"Oh, so this is about showing up the super-magic-girl, is it? You know that a couple of the students here actually worship her? That is a major conflict of interests, they'll flat out drop out if they have to face her!"

"If they cannot accept the challenge, that is their own prerogative. Aside from which, I have been... personally assured that Miss Shimmer has refused to participate."

"Makes sense. But... mandatory tryouts? Across the whole school? For a one-day competition?"

"I have explained my reasoning."

"And you have ignored mine."

"You are entirely welcome to leave the school. I know you have been uncomfortable here for quite some time, and as sad as I would be to see you go—"

"Don't give me that crap. You don't care about me, you just want my grades. And I'm not going to leave anyway."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Somebody's gotta keep an eye on the team's emotional state. And it sure as hell won't be you, will it?"

Off the Rack, by Masterweaver

Friendship Games Tryout Records: Student 73
Name: Suri Polomare
Physical Sex: Female
Gender Identity: Female
Magical Aspect: Earth
Tryout Applications: Home Economics
Observer: Dean ~~Mi Amore Cadenza~~ Cadence

Suri created dress forms from allowed fabrics within allowed times. Note: while all dresses were high-quality and excellently tailored, they almost entirely resembled famous outfits from literature or recent television. When asked to improvise, Suri hesitated briefly before creating a dress that was essentially a top from one series and a skirt from another.

In regards to baking, Suri once again demonstrated a mastery of the art form with no room for creativity. Improvisation again led to creation of a lime cream pie with pecan sprinkles. Not terrible, but not individual. Another note: She seemed to watch the oven obsessively during baking, unable to do anything until it was finished.

Other chores followed the same pattern; excellent technical skills with no room for improvisation or creativity. I've taken the liberty of looking into her school files. Prior to attending Crystal Prep, Suri was often accused of copying off others, although she has rarely been caught doing so.

In conclusion, Suri can obey orders to a T, but aside from her drive to succeed she has no motivation of her own. I don't recommend her, but since I know you're looking for skill over talent, I suggest you partner her with somebody who actually has ideas.

Barring greater skill, Suri Polomare is in consideration.
Note to self: Admonish Dean Cadenza for improper protocol on official documents.

Author's Note

In this case, the "73" represents not the order in which Suri tried out but her rank in the school.

Also, Principal Cinch is all too familiar with issues of sexual identity. According to Weaver, her ex-husband identifies as funky lemon, though he allows masculine pronouns as a show of courtesy.

Intermittent Flashes, by Masterweaver

Friendship Games Tryout Records: Flash Sentry
Physical Sex: Male
Gender Identity: Male
Magical Aspect: Pegasus
Tryout Applications: Scientific Mastery, Home Economics, Musical Arts
Judge: Luna

Flash Sentry is an oddity. There's really no other way to describe it: he is either hypercompetent or a complete bungler at anything he tries, a situation that is only exacerbated by the fact that his skills can differ on any given day. I still maintain he has some undiagnosed learning disability, which is of course irrelevant to this analysis.

Did he perform admirably in his applications? His laboratory experiment was an impressive-looking paper mache volcano which didn't erupt so much as collapse in on itself. His home economics project, on the other hand, was a surprisingly good tasting pastry with some fancy name I can't be bothered to remember. And as always, his musical ability remains one of his few stable talents, good with the potential for greatness but not quite great as of yet.

If this were a competition for talent, I would suggest rejecting him for anything that isn't music related. But you and I both know that's not going to happen--you use the Friendship Games as a reward for students, for some inexplicable reason, so I know you're going to put the most popular boy on the team. One final warning, though; I'm unsure if Flash considers himself single at the moment, but he flirts outrageously with powerful women if he is, so don't pair him up with any girl not openly dating that has a GPA over 3.8 or things will get awkward fast.

"He called your hair sexy again, didn't he?"

"He is a student and I refuse to allow him his delusions."

"Come on, it's a compliment. And it's not the worst thing students have said about you."

"If the moonbutt meme is making a return I will start handing out detentions again!"

Author's Note

Celestia, on the other hand, just tries to be progressive.

Special Consideration, by Masterweaver

"Hey, uh, Principal Celestia?"

The woman looked up from her desk. "Oh. Miss Heartstrings! Can I do something for you?"

"Yeah. Um... you know, me and Bonnie have been wanting to try out for the Friendship Games for a while now." The green girl bit her lip. "Since... you know, before the Saturation. And, I mean, we were kind of thrown off for a bit with, you know..."

She tapped her gorget pointedly.

Celestia nodded. "Your... I'm sorry, do you mind if I refer to it as your condition, or would you prefer ethnicity?"

"Ethnicity is more accurate, and I would be doing PAULDRONS a disservice if I acted as it were a problem to be solved. That said..." Lyra paused. "...Look, I can get why you said 'no magic.' Nobody knows how to avoid cheating with magic, yet. Problem is, this is magic. If I take this off, I'm a unicorn, which I have no problem with whatsoever, but that would put me at a disadvantage. If I leave it on, it could be argued to be a performance-boosting token. So... do you want a pony or a human, is what I'm asking?"

Celestia tapped her chin thoughtfully. "You know... you're a first in many ways, Miss Heartstrings. The Friendship Games are unfortunately not designed to accommodate nonhumans at the moment, though I will be consulting with any schools that extend membership for more... species-specific competitions. I know there are dolphins currently operating in the capital with specialized land-walker equipment."

"Yeah. They ran it through as a 'disability compensation' sort of thing."

"Would that also work in regards to your, ahem, form maintenance device? Marking it as disability compensation?"

Lyra blinked. "...It... might, actually. I'll look through the paperwork. But would you actually let somebody with a recorded disability compete?"

"Cinch does," Celestia said casually. "Although, of course, I forbid you from investigating that. Personal privacy, you understand."

"Oh, of course." Lyra grinned. "Well... count me on the team, then!"

"I'll look forward to it, Miss Heartstrings."

Author's Note

Had to perform a few slight edits on this one due to some crossed wires regarding elapsed time. Suffice to say, the Games are taking place at the end of the school year that saw the Saturation, about six weeks after that fateful Spring Break. PAULDRONS, which will became the primary nonhuman sapient lobby, is in its infancy, still getting in contact with and organizing the other disparate agencies and entities it will soon encompass. Of course, with Twilight Sparkle involved, any organizational efforts go by in a blink. By the time September rolls around...

Well, see Silicon Tiara if you haven't already.

Roll to Disbelieve, by FoME

Fireworks erupted from the soccer field, their three conjurers glowing with magical and physical exertion in their final pose. The onlookers applauded uproariously, a cheer sounding out here and there.

Trixie broke first, taking sweeping bows. “Thank you, thank you! You have been a magnificent audience!”

“Miss Lula—“

“Trixie would like to thank her gracious assistants, without whom this audition would’ve been merely half as stupendous!”

“Miss Lu—“

“And when you see Trixie competing in the Friendship Games, remem—“

“Miss Lulamoon.” The words were felt as much as they were heard. Everyone fell silent as the echoes rolled across the field.

Trixie swallowed. “Er, yes, Vice Principal Luna?”

“As I was trying to tell you at the start of your routine, we are trying to keep active magic use to a minimum during the Friendship Games.”

“WHAT!?”

Fuchsia Blush nudged Trixie. “You know, like I tried to tell you when we were rehearsing? You just told me I lacked vision.”

“You do lack vision.”

“Better than lacking hearing.”

“Uh, girls?” Both turned to Lavender Lace. “Maybe we should let the next act go on?”

“Oh.”

“Right.”

“For what it’s worth, girls,” said Luna, “Your performance did demonstrate considerable agility and teamwork, and that will be taken into consideration.”

Trixie beamed. Fuchsia rolled her eyes. Lavender said, “Thank you, Vice Principal Luna,” as she tried to shove her friends off of the soccer field as gently as she could with a telekinetic bulldozer blade.

“Next is…” Luna blinked and brought the list closer. “Twilight Sparkle?”

“Here, ma’am.” She looked up to see the girl in question, dressed in leggings, a skirt, and an airy top.

“I can’t say I was expecting you to compete.”

Twilight tilted her head. “You weren’t expecting the girl who transferred out of Crystal Prep to want to show them up?”

Luna smirked. “Fair point. Though I hope you’re aware of our efforts to minimize magic during the Games.”

“Entirely, ma’am. Sunset’s helping with that.” Twilight began going through some arm and leg stretches as she continued. “Instead, I’m going to demonstrate my endurance, memory, coordination, and creativity. I’d have worn tap shoes but, well, soccer field.” She stomped the turf for emphasis.

“Very well then. You may begin.”

Twilight nodded, then whistled a rather recognizable tune. After tapping out eight quick beats on the ground, she began singing. “There’s antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium…”

Author's Note

Pony Twilight can fly. Human Twilight can dance. Seems like a fair trade-off.

Flaring Tempers, by Masterweaver

"SUNNY! Sunny, wait up!"

Sunny Flare continued walking, though her pace was slightly faster.

Lemon Zest rolled her eyes, putting an extra skip in her step before catching up. "Look. You don't like me. I'm the girl with a random mind that doesn't seem to know when to stop talking and somehow has higher grades then you, and I've probably offended your sensibilities in more then a few ways, but I have a for serious real deal need-to-talk thing I need to talk with you about, and I need to make sure you're actually listening to me instead of pretending to listen and hoping I'll go away soon, and it is really super important, I'm trying to get all the Shadowbolts in on this; look, here's how serious I am."

Sunny found a pair of headphones shoved into her hands. "What—?"

"Prized possession. You're holding it. You could break those at any moment. I am putting something I care about on the line to get you to listen. Are you listening?"

"Ugh. Fine. Sure." Sunny Flare glanced at a clock. "You have two minutes."

"I am genuinely worried that the stress from the upcoming Friendship Games tryouts will cause parts of the student body to snap and I am asking for your help in keeping an eye on everyone's emotional and psychological stability."

Sunny blinked. "...What."

"Okay, first of all, Moondancer is our number one academic, which means she's going to get a place on the team. Problem is, she's a major introvert; being put in front of all those other students, ours and Canterlot High, that is going to do a number on her. Indigo Zap has a developing god complex, which we've had to rely on Sour Sweet to handle—yes, I'm aware of the irony—and this will either set up a possible full on 'worship me' if she stays on the team or 'blasphemous fools' if she gets kicked off. You, you're a perfectionist, and I know you're either confident enough in your skills that you don't care or you're super worried and hiding it... Look, all I'm saying is that this isn't about you, or me, or Crystal Prep anymore. This is about the student body being put through a social-emotional wringer and having no support."

"...You're worried over nothing." Sunny shoved the headphones back into Lemon's hands. "And besides, achievements are the only way to demonstrate one's skill."

"Okay, that is a dangerous and fundamentally flawed philosophy to have."

"Really?" Sunny Flare glowered at her. "Do you think the great leaders are remembered for keeping the pace? No. They made changes. They made history. The greats achieved, through their skills, that which would be remembered."

"Fine, sure, but that's history. What's the point in having skills if you don't get to use them every day? Showing off and being great is good, but if it's all you're living for then you're not living between your achievements."

"...I cannot believe this. I refuse to have a philosophical argument with a— with a... with a NEPOTISM-BENEFITING DUNCE!"

"Hey! Auntie Abby hates me, and technically speaking a dunce is a slow learner! Fool would be a more accurate term in my case—"

"A fool, right, and who's more foolish, the fool or the fool that follows them?"

"So instead of following the fool, who at LEAST happens to know she's a fool, you're going to ignore them entirely and forge your own path?"

"Far wiser, wouldn't you say?"

"The court fool was allowed to point out the flaws of the king. And all the best kings had fools."

"And what flaws do you think I have?"

"You're focused too much on achievement in lieu of connection. You want to be the best, and you don't care to help the worst. You can see the flaws in others, but you don't do anything to assist them, and you can see the flaws in yourself and you don't do anything to correct them."

Sunny rubbed her wrists uncomfortably. "...It's better to work toward perfection then to become consumed in one's failings."

"Maybe. But they're called the Friendship Games for a reason." Lemon put her headphones back on, turning to leave. She gave one last parting shot over her shoulder. "What's more important, Flare, the grades or the students behind them?"

Sunny Flare stood in the hallway, staring after her as she walked off, still rubbing her wrists.

Tell Eddy to Get Out, by Masterweaver

"...and since the universe was damaged some time-swirls are bound to happen, but they're relatively minor. Only a month long duration spread over a week, at most. So yes, some things appear to happen out of order from a flat time perspective, but causality is preserved and timespace will stabilize barring any significant events. Getting caught up in a loop has no side effects other then internal queasiness and, in the case of particularly organized or temporarily sensitive individuals..."

Sunset gestured at Twilight, who was giggling as she rocked back and forth on the couch. "Yesterday was tomorrow, hee hee, and tomorrow's yesterday..."

"Ah." Night Light paused. "Well."

"Don't worry, she's a sciencey sort. I explained it to her, and she immediately calmed down, it just hasn't happened from her perspective yet. No, you can't explain things to her now, Paradox aversion."

"I see... well, thank you for explaining that," Night Light finally managed. "If you're sure it's nothing..."

"Believe me, this isn't nearly as bad as the PAULDRONS loop." Sunset rolled her eyes. "That was one chronologistical mess I'm going to have to sort out. At least Ditzy's helping."

Author's Note

I'd like to think we won't need any whirlpools in the timestream to sort out the local continuity, but they'll make for a convenient fallback.

Beyond the Beyond, by Masterweaver

There was a feeling, a vibration, like a cosmic string had went twang. Only she was inside the string; she could see the school but—

—what were they doing?! What were they doing to—?!

The school suddenly vanished, leaving her staring at base ground. She blinked, feeling a cold wind swirling, looking around, and tried to fly—

—something moved by her. A creature that... wasn't. The first word that came to mind was fire, but—

—fire wasn't right, heat and light but no passion—

—its presence batted her aside, like a fly, and the world sang. She saw forests and castles and plains and ice and—

—she tried to bring herself back under control, tried, tried—

—a cold wind gripped her, not metaphorically, but literally, and dragged her into—

—dark, save for a few torches illuminating a throne that went from floor to cavernous ceiling.

"My, my my, my my. You've had quite the stumble, haven't you?" a voice purred from the shadows. "Don't fret. I will... ensure... you remain on a stable path."

Author's Note

All will become clear in time. Or at least opaque in a very interesting way.

Cross Reverence, by FoME

"No."

"But—"

"No!" Sunset slammed a hand on the table for emphasis. The rest of the food court tried very hard to act like they weren't watching.

Rainbow Dash threw up her hands. "Come on, it's not like you're using them for anything!"

Sunset held up a finger. "First of all, they're people, not tools. You remember what it was like back when I didn't make that distinction."

"Okay, point, but—"

"Secondly, the last thing your ego needs is people literally worshiping you."

"Actually," the third girl at the table said around a cookie the size of her head, "quite a few people already offer prayers to Saint Rainbow."

Rainbow grinned. Sunset groaned. "Not helping, Ruby."

Scootaloo looked from one fellow Crusader to the other, then to her lightning bolt necklace. "Let's face it, you'd be more surprised if I didn't."

"Yeah."

"True."

"And all of the other First-Blessed," Ruby continued, "especially the Proclaimer's Beloved."

Sunset buried her face in her hands. "Please tell me Twilight doesn't know that."

Ruby tilted her head. "Why wouldn't she?"

Dear Twilight,

Due to a theological mixup, you may have a few thousand worshipers in the human world. I'm working on fixing that.

Sorry,
Sunset

Author's Note

Twilight was shocked. Celestia was faintly amused. Luna offered suggestions on choosing a quality high priest.

Rosy Prospects, by Masterweaver

"So. You've seen God naked."

"Okay, first of all, I am not that kind of medical specialist. Secondly, there's such a thing as doctor-patient confidentiality. Thirdly, Sunset Shimmer is not a god. Fourthly, I only treated her prior to the Saturation, so she wouldn't have been a deity at the time. Fifthly, I do not have pictures—"

"I'm a little young to be caring about that sort of thing, actually. And I apologize, I made many incorrect assumptions."

"That you realize them does you credit. What exactly do you want?"

"I was wondering if you would object to minor sainthood."

"....What?"

"Or, failing that, being the head director at Bacon Academy. Headmaster Pin is very wise, but a little lacking in the common sense department."

"...Miss Rose, do you really think I would simply abandon my duties as school nurse?"

"Of course not, Miss Redheart. I'm not asking for an immediate answer. I'm just testing the waters is all."

"I view myself as an ordinary medical practitioner, not a talented one. And I will not let my brief interaction with one admittedly important individual become a crutch for my career."

"I suppose that's fair enough. Do you have any tips on what I should look for when coming up with the medical staff for a combat-oriented religious academy, then?"

"...I can get you a copy of my job interview..."

Captured Bishops, by Masterweaver

"...so Belladonna was going to keep track of the drinking, but somebody from Tauros recognized her and they kind of got into a bit of a debate—"

"Ruby—"

"—which meant that the next thing anybody knew, Sunny and Snow were really hammered, and they started ranting about Snow's dad being a horrible person for disowning her—"

"Ruby."

"—and since you know, they kind of all are bishops, a few people listened, and they did try to stop the mob but—"

"Ruby Rose, I've read the news report." Sunset sighed. "But unfortunately, this is one of those situations where I shouldn't use my godly powers—"

"Oh I know, I was just wondering if I could ask you to help pay their bail—"

"—which, due to part of my income coming from tithes these days, counts as using my godly powers."

"... Oh."

"I'm also big on 'Let All My Sins Be Remembered' philosophy."

"... You're saying that they should atone for their crimes? That... they should earn forgiveness?"

"I'm saying... that forgiveness is a second chance, one they should be glad and willing to take, and that while I will not demand excommunication or anything like that, I shall also not allow them to forget when they stumbled, so that they will learn from their mistakes."

"Oh. That's a much better message."

"I've been getting practice in."

Author's Note

At some point in the not-to-distant future, Sunset will decide that if people are going to worship her, she might as well be worth worshipping. As much as anyone can be, anyway.

No word on whether her high-level clergy will ever learn to think before acting.

It's Not an Old Rivalry, it's Retro, by FoME

Author's Note

The following is a deleted scene from chapter 2 of Unfriendly Competition that I felt was amusing enough to merit inclusion here.

It's Not an Old Rivalry, it's Retro, by FoME

"My word. Is that you, Suri?"

"Rarity! Fancy seeing you here."

"Indeed. Why, I haven't seen you since the eighth grade. Remember? The play?"

"Yeah, they loved my costumes."

"Yes. Your costumes. On an unrelated note, I am looking forward to seeing who wins this competition, aren't you?"

"I think we both know who the winner will be, okay?"

"Well, if there's anything I've learned in the past year, it's that this world is ever so full of surprises."

"You keep thinking that."

"Oh, I think many things. Sometimes it's all I can do to get a rough sketch down before the next idea comes along. I'm sure you know all about it. Isn't it such a burden to deal with an overactive muse?"

Suri said nothing and stomped away. Rarity watched, satisfied. For now.

CR Don't Ask, by Void Knight and FoME

(Void Knight)

“Sunset, you’re not going to like this.”

Sunset sighed. “Is this the monstrous-evil-running-lose kind of ‘you won’t like this’, the one-of-your-followers-has-done-something-atrociously-stupid kind, or the they’ve-found-a-new-and-embarrassing-way-to-deify-you kind.”

Twilight blushed. “Uh, the last one. So, you know Shiny and I are both huge O&O fans, right?”

“Yes?” replied Sunset, wondering where this was going.

Twilight continued, wringing her hands a bit. “Actually, we’re big enough fans that when Warlocks on the Mount were doing the beta testing for O&O Fifth Edition, we volunteered to help. And evidently we’re still in the databank as potential helpers, because I got an e-mail this morning asking if I would help contribute to the revised Deities and Demigods sourcebook.”

It suddenly dawned on Sunset what Twilight was trying to say. “Oh no. They want to…”

“Yes,” said Twilight, flinching a tad. “And it’s not just you. They want to do all seven of us. You as the major deity, of course, but the rest of us as lesser goddesses.”

Sunset’s hand rose to her face.

“And there was a big announcement from Gamecrafters about doing a reboot of Hyperspace Hyperwars.”

“Don’t tell me,” said Sunset, “they want to replace the God-Emperor of Mankind with a God-Empress.”

Twilight nodded. “They’re calling it Hyperspace Hyperwars: Age of Sunset.”

Sunset’s other hand rose to join its fellow.

(FoME)

Twilight scowled at the advance copy of the O&O sourcebook. "I knew it. I knew it!"

"Whatever is the matter?" said Rarity.

"It's the exact same mistake they made back in three-point-five. We're pathetic!"

"Yes, and?"

Everyone looked at Fluttershy. Sunset broke the silence. "You do know that there are people who literally worship the ground you walk on, right?"

Fluttershy nodded. "And it's terribly embarrassing. I can see why you've tried so hard to get them to tone it down."

Applejack turned back to the book, which to her looked uncannily like something meant for a math class. "How do ya mean we're pathetic, Twi?"

"Any halfway decent party could mop the floor with any one of us, and a well-optimized party could take all of us at once before you could say 'roll for initiative'!"

Dash looked to Pinkie. "You ever notice how Twilight speaks like five languages that all sound like Wranglish but make no sense?"

Pinkie tilted her head. "But if they didn't sound like Wranglish, how could we understand all the sense they didn't make?"

As Dash tried to parse that, Twilight flipped to another page. "And look at this! They made me lawful evil for crying out loud!"

Sunset looked over her shoulder. "That says 'Midnight Sparkle.'"

"What in the name of every deity in this book is a Midnight Sparkle!?"

Sunset smirked. "You do realize that you technically just swore by me, right?"

Twilight's answer was an incoherent yell and slamming her face into the table.

Adult Fear, by Void Knight

Green light shimmered around Dinky Doo’s head, then faded away.

“The mind-lock is in place,” said Sunset Shimmer, her face studiously neutral.

Ditzy desperately reached out and embraced her daughter, feeling tears well up in her eyes once more.

“Oh Harmony, Dinky,” she sobbed, “I don’t want you to go! I don’t want you to go!”

“I don’t want to go either,” said Dinky, her voice astoundingly level, “but it’s like Pure Logic always says: ‘The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.’ Besides, if I don’t go, then time goes smash and I’m dead anyway.”

Dinky wriggled out of her mother’s embrace and took Sunset’s hand. She swallowed a couple of times, then said, “I’m ready to go now.”

Sunset Shimmer’s fiery wings flared brilliantly, and she seemed to flicker out of existence for a second. And then she was there again, but Dinky was not. Would never be there again.

Without having to ask, Sunset took Ditzy by the hand, and in a flash of golden light, they were suddenly standing in a cemetery, in front of one specific tombstone. Though Ditzy couldn’t actually see the writing on the stone through her tears, she knew what it said as well as if the inscription had been carved into her flesh instead of the cold marble.

HERE LIES
DINKY DOO
BELOVED DAUGHTER
BORN: APRIL 13, 7 A.S.
DIED: JUNE 12, 3 A.S.
“Greater love has no one than this: that someone would lay down her life for her friends.”

Ditzy awoke, exploding out of the covers, out of the bed, out of the universe. She had just enough time to note the unusually silvery cast of the world-bubble into which she’d fallen before she was through the probability boundaries, landing with a thud in a bedroom not dissimilar from the one she’d left.

To conventional sight, the room was dark, lit only by the silver glow of Ditzy’s wingbow. But to Ditzy’s special sight, the room shone with the soft and soothing light of pure Elemental Kindness, radiating from the blond-haired pony blinking the sleep from her eyes.

Ditzy dashed across the room and hugged her doppelganger close, letting the soft embrace of Kindness sooth away her nerves.

“Nightmares again?” said the pony Ditzy.

“Yeah,” said the human Ditzy, releasing the embrace. “Same one as last time, more or less.”

“Maybe you should ask your Princess to help with that. Didn’t you say she was handling dreams in your world?”

The human Ditzy sighed. “Maybe I will. I just wish I could be more sure that it won’t happen.”

The pony Ditzy replied, “If your Sunset is anything like what you’ve described, I don’t think it will. I can’t imagine her condemning a child to death that way.”

“Not even to save six billion plus lives?” retorted the human Ditzy. “I know she’s pulled some pretty gray stunts to save the world before.” She shook her head. “But I should be getting back to my world. I know you’ve got your own concerns and your own Dinky to take care of. Thanks for giving me a mane to cry into.”

“You’re welcome,” said the pony Ditzy. The human Ditzy’s wingbow flared to life, and she plunged back into probability space, weaving around a handful of alternate worlds before rematerializing in her own bedroom. Dismissing her wingbow, she tiptoed across the hall and cracked open another bedroom door.

Dinky Doo lay sleeping in her own bed, snoring musically. She was still alive, for now at least.

“I love you, Dinky Doo,” whispered Ditzy, before closing the door and making her way back to her own bed.

Author's Note

I wasn't expecting a crossover with another pony AU. I certainly wasn't expecting a crossover with the Lunaverse.

And for the record, no, no one's proposed starting over when it comes to counting years. Imagine the headaches involved in converting every computer system on Earth to a new calendar.

Open Door Policy, by Masterweaver

"The thing is, Bacon Academy—which is still a very, very silly name—was literally founded and funded by a religious group. They're decent enough to not disallow nonbelievers, but..." Glimmer Goodwitch gave an exasperated sigh. "Well, we've got a class on Shimmerism, taught by the bishops themselves. Who are, in fact, also students. They rotate so there's no schedule conflict with them learning, but that isn't the issue."

"I once considered starting a cult at that age myself," Luna reflected. "It pretty much fell apart."

Cadence snickered. "That's what kicked off your emo phase, right?"

"Mmmhmm. Of course, that's also how I met Chryssy...."

The pink woman shot her aunt a glare. Said aunt simply sipped her glass with a smirk.

Glimmer blinked. "Chryssy? Who is—?"

"Chrysalis," Jace supplied. "Before she led the Wholesome, she dated Luna for a while. Then she became a porn star, and apparently—"

"THAT. WAS. FORCED." Cadance's voice ground through her teeth.

Glimmer opened her mouth, paused, and decided not to ask. "Bringing us back to Bacon Academy... you can see how we have some logistical issues. Throw in combat-oriented classes on top of that, and the usual high school curriculum... It doesn't help that we have a 'tradition' of hiring any teacher who asks."

Luna leaned back. "Really?"

"Ruby became the pope because she asked Sunset first. Ounce Pin? He asked Ruby. Hell, I asked for a position, and I got it!" Glimmer threw up her hands. "At LEAST I managed to convince the headmaster to vet teachers for a week, but even then—even then! Port's excellent at biology and an egotist of the highest degree, Oobleck knows history in and out and I have no idea how he doesn't explode from caffeine, and Peach—don't even get me started on Peach."

"Oobleck..." Jace mused. "You know, I've heard that name before..."

"Yes, me too...." Luna rapped her fingers on the table, before snapping them. "Discord's old roommate! He had a cousin called Oobleck, I think!"

"Huh. Small world."

"If it's so bad," Cadence asked, "why don't you leave?"

"Because my last job was even worse." Glimmer sighed. "The whole reason I asked was to get out of that mess... and to be honest, the staff does care about the students, that's very nice."

Cadence nodded. "There's a difference between a professor and a teacher. We don't have many teachers at Crystal Prep..."

Author's Note

Jace likely heard of Oobleck from Kraj, one of Ravnica High's old biology teachers. He left years ago; irreconcilable differences with the drama teacher and the school board.

Rebels Without a Clue, by Masterweaver

They sat around the campfire, drinking their coffee.

"...So." One of them looked up. "Do we actually have... a plan?"

Another scoffed. "To have a plan, we'd need a goal. No, at the moment we're just a resentful trio of wandering vandals."

"Ouch, Swirl." The third chuckled. "Tell us how you really feel, why don't you."

"I feel like people are and always have been stupid. The few intelligent people are trapped in their place by outdated social conventions. And changing the world to save it..." He trailed off. "I don't know."

The first looked between them. "What, we have no idea what we're doing? But..." She held out her hands. "I mean... you've been on the run for a while!"

"Yeah, well... I might look like our new goddess, but that doesn't give me a scrap of divine wit." She prodded the pan. "Dinner's ready, by the way."

The second reached out with a fork, spearing some sausage. The first looked between the two others.

"Alright. So... we need a goal. Or a set of goals. What is it that we want. Really want?"

"Not to have people worshiping me for someone else's deeds," the woman muttered.

"Not to have to endure a new reason for idiocy," the man grumbled.

"Not to have to worry constantly about some new magical threat," the girl finished.

"It sounds to me," said a new voice, "that you want magic to go into hiding."

The three stood suddenly as a fourth figure strode out of the night's darkness.

"Who are you?" The man peered at the figure. "What are you?"

"Ah, a gentleman who notices details. My story is... complex. But, suffice it to say, I know what needs to be done to restore what you once considered the norm." Teeth gleamed in the firelight. "All I need to do is find something small and precious, and I can assure you that your world will be magicless once more."

Author's Note

Don't ask me. Weaver isn't spilling.

What a Helios, by Architect Ironturtle

Artemis was sipping ambrosia in her shared temple on Mount Olympus when an explosion and shower of shattered marble came through the roof.

"How did it go?" She asked her brother serenely, not bothering to turn and look at him as he staggered out of the crater.

"Well," Apollo said shakily, pouring himself a mug and trudging over to the dais, "I rode my chariot down a beam of sunlight, pulled up right in front of her just like I always do, then confessed my undying love for her."

"And then?"

"Then this purple chick turned into the Avatar of Magic and broke every bone in my body. And Lady Sunset burned the remains before drop kicking me out of her universe."

Artemis sighed into her drink, "I told you, brother," she said smoothly, "You needed to wait until her mortal friends have died of old age. Sunset won't understand why marrying other gods is so important before that."

"BUT WAITING IS SO HARD!" Apollo wailed. Artemis just smirked and took another sip.

Author's Note

At least Apollo didn't pick up his father's bad habits. And to be fair, that was one of the least obnoxious mythological encounters Sunset had that year.

Palette Cleanser, by Void Knight and Masterweaver

(Void Knight)

“Hello, everyone! I’m Sonata Dusk,” said the golden-skinned-and-haired siren-aspect, the trademark grin that went with that name distorting her face.

“I’m Aria Blaze,” said the news anchor with the blue-on-blue color scheme, a slight smile playing about her lips.

“And I’m Adagio Dazzle,” said the third news anchor, her facial expressions displaying her dissatisfaction with her purple-and-green coloration.

“And this is Siren Spell Stories!” finished the golden one. The Siren Spell Stories logo briefly filled the screen, and when it cleared, the golden newsanchor was the only one remaining. At her side stood a rather pretty young woman with metallic blue skin, equally metallic greenish hair, and opalline eyes and headgem.

“And our first special guest is Dragonfly, member of the Wholesome and inventor of a revolutionary new technique in cosmetology. Dragonfly?”

“Thank you, Sonata,” said Dragonfly. “As many of you probably know, almost since the Saturation, members of our communion have possessed the power to manipulate our chromelanin, changing our skin or hair or eye colors as desired. Though in case any of you were wondering, these are in fact my natural colors. But anyway, almost the first thing to run through my mind after I’d learned the chromelanin manipulation techniques was the question, ‘Can I figure out how to do this for someone else?’ Being able to assume whatever colors you like without needing to use makeup or even glamor spells is a wonderful gift, and it’s one I wanted to be able to share. Long story short, I’ve partially cracked the solution. My technique still draws on the Wholesome communion, so only members can cast it, but it does work. Observe.”

Dragonfly laid her hand on the golden-skinned arm, and closed her eyes in concentration. Her head-gem lit up, and an iridescent shimmer spread out across the news anchor’s body from where Dragonfly had touched her. In its wake, golden skin was replaced by blue.

After Sonata returned to her original coloration, Dragonfly opened her eyes and removed her hand. “As you can see, the technique is both harmless and easily reversible. I don’t know yet if it wears off on its own. I tested it on my biological sister about a week ago, and she hasn’t changed back to her original colors yet, but it may just take longer.”

“Why did you specify ‘biological sister’?” asked Sonata. “Does the shared blood make some difference?”

“No, it’s just that there’d be no point trying this on a sister of the Wholesome, for obvious reasons,” replied Dragonfly.

“Thank you, Dragonfly,” said Sonata cheerily. “And now, over to Aria for the sports news.”

(Masterweaver)

"...Okay." Sunset turned to Chrysalis as the news segment ended. "Why?"

"Can't my children do something out of the goodness of their own heart?"

"They could, yes. But you managed to rig that whole thing with Tirek. So, why?"

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Suspicion aversion. Too many people view the Wholesome as merely being a spy network. If one of our primary methods of espionage suddenly becomes open source, that will both lessen the suspicion..."

She smirked. "...and make it harder to tell genuine children from those who change for cosmetic reasons."

Sunset sighed as she rubbed her brow. "You know, given what you've done to help your kind and the world, it's easy to forget that you're actually amoral."

Author's Note

"I can only imagine how Rainbow Dash will react if people start imitating her hair."

"From what Dragonfly tells me, that will cost a lot extra."

Live Demonstration, by Maran

About one year after Saturation

Sweetie Belle sat on the couch, in the middle of writing a long text. She listened to her dad throwing his keys on the counter and grabbing a soda out of the fridge. Even when he started speaking to her, she didn't glance up from her phone.

“Hey, Sweetie, how was your field trip to Seven Flags?” he asked.

Tapping the back button on her phone, she answered, “We didn't go.”

“Really? Why not?” He strolled into the living room and plopped down next to her with his can floating in his blue aura.

Sweetie hit send and actually looked up from her phone, numbly gazing out the window. She gave it some thought before answering, “Snips ate our biology class.”

“Okay, I didn't hear you right. It sounded like you said Snips ate your class.”

“No, you heard right.”

Carefully, her dad grabbed his soda in his hand, not trusting his magic to hold it up. “That a euphemism for something?”

“I almost wish it was.” She set her phone in her lap and held her head in her hands. “So, the new biology teacher has this magic school bus, and she's still learning how to drive it, you know?”

Her dad didn't know, but he stayed quiet.

“It can do things no other bus can. But today she was only supposed to use it to drive us to Seven Flags. But she accidentally pulled the wrong lever or whatever and it made the bus shrink, and we landed in Snips's Cheezie Wheezies, because he just happened to be eating his lunch outside. And the bus must've looked close enough to a Cheezie Wheezie because he popped us into his mouth and swallowed us.” She shuddered. “I think Sunset Shimmer was watching over us just a little because I was sure his teeth were going to crush the bus like aluminum foil.”

“A magic school bus, eh?” Her dad leaned back. “I mean, I've probably heard weirder things this year, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.”

“Fluttershy spent the summer as a tree,” Sweetie pointed out. “But this is definitely the weirdest thing that happened to me.”

Her dad paused, mentally working through the story. “How did you get out?”

“Well, the easiest way would've been to go all the way down through the colon into the toilet, but we didn't know how long it would take for Snips to have a bowel movement, you know? So we went back up into the stomach and stirred up the gas so we could ride it up when he burped.”

Rarity happened to enter the livingroom just as Sweetie mentioned the toilet, and her eyes grew wider with each word her sister said. Slowly, she backed out of the room.

Sweetie's phone vibrated, and she snatched it up and read the new text. “Oh my . . . That would make so much sense!”

“What now?”

She peered up at him, finally meeting his eyes. “Apple Bloom says our teacher planned it that way the whole time. We've been learning about human anatomy in class, and our teacher is earth aspect, so it probably shouldn't take her this long to learn how to drive a school bus, even a magic one. Especially a magic one!”

“So she thinks your teacher meant for you to get eaten?” asked her dad, rubbing his head gem.

“Exhibit C: Her motto is, 'Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!'”

Her dad stroked the end of his mustache. “I'd better talk to Principal Celestia about all this.”

Author's Note

She did come with glowing recommendations from both Mr. Discord and Dr. Turner. Though the latter refused to say how they knew each other beyond muttering something about "distant cousins."

(Rejected chapter title: At Least it Wasn't the Urinary System)

System Hiccup, by FoME

Just before spring, a burst of golden light flared in Twilight Sparkle's bedroom. "Is this a good time?" said Sunset.

The months after the world changed were full of learning experiences for Twilight. Among them was the art of managing an omnipresent girlfriend who sometimes forgot that people weren't always in friendly moods. This, she reflected, was definite progress; a few months ago, Sunset hadn't bothered asking before spilling her guts. Twilight put down her book and patted her mattress. "Sure."

Sunset hopped on. That she didn't immediately wrap her arms around Twilight made the other girl sit up more. Twilight wasn't sure how much was being a pony, how much was the "Spirit of Harmony" thing, and how much was just Sunset, but she was usually very huggy when they were alone. "Everything okay?"

"It's... embarrassing," said Sunset. "And more than a little worrisome."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, I definitely want to. Someone else should know. I..." Sunset bit her lip. "I had a bit of a slip-up. Uncomfortably close to Earth."

"How close are we talking?"

"About forty light-years. A constant wasn't, a star went nova prematurely... I didn't think I had all of the physical hiccups sorted out, but I thought for sure that this galaxy would be fine by now."

Twilight initiated the hug. "Hey, you've got a lot on your plate."

"I can feel your unease, Twilight. And I don't blame you. That's stupidly close by cosmic standards." Still, Sunset leaned into the embrace. "I've gone over our whole galactic arm with a fine-tooth comb since, but I should've earlier."

The question slipped out before Twilight could stop it. "Was there life?"

"Not sure. Couldn't bring myself to look. There were planets. Several Earth-sized ones. I moved them to a relatively nearby dwarf star. Kind of crowded little system at this point, but it's not like anyone's going to notice, right?"

"Uh, about that..." Twilight pulled up an article on her phone and handed it to Sunset.

"NEISA telescope reveals largest batch of..." Nerveless fingers dropped the phone. "I keep forgetting just what you were all capable of even without magic."

"Given the lightspeed delay, I'm assuming it was at seven before you evacuated the others."

By this point, Sunset's face had turned almost as red as half of her hair. "If I promise to mention it when someone announces plans to colonize them, can I not until then?"

Twilight shrugged. "Up to you."

Author's Note

I don't find much inspiration in current events, given their current state. This, however, seemed perfect.

Also, Sunset isn't ever this bad... but she has come close now and again. Though at least she's never refenestrated herself.

No Such Place, by FoME

Dear Twilight,

Could you send me a copy of my birth certificate? Some of my worshipers are convinced that I have no beginning or end, and that I descended from Equestria solely to enlighten the simian masses.

Their words, not mine.

Thanks,
Sunset

—————

Dear Twilight,

Good news and bad news. The good news is that they've accepted that I'm not some eternal concept. The bad news is that they still think Equestria is some impossibly perfect land of nothing but smiles and cupcakes. I'm going to need the trashiest tabloid you can find. Make sure it has obituaries; some of them are convinced that all ponies are immortal.

Thanks again,
Sunset

—————

Dear Twilight,

It's not that I want to scare humans away from Equestria. I want a healthy relationship between the two worlds as much as you do. The problem is that the only information most people have about Equestria comes from my videos, and I've been presenting the best of my home. That's led to... well, this. Given how long it could take to safely expand the portal, I don't want humanity to be disappointed after years if not decades of impossibly high expectations.

On a related note, that copy of the Royal Enquirer didn't quite do the job. They're calling it a "test of faith." I'm going to need something that can't just be discounted. Or more accurately, somepony. Who's your pick for Ambassador of Equestrian Horribleness?

Sincerely,
Sunset

—————

"And that's why you're here, ma'am."

The mare had a lot of questions. What was the fuzzy thing around her neck, and why did it have feet? Why had she never heard of this "Sunset Shimmer" filly if she was so important? How did meeting with Ponyville's resident princess lead to getting shoved through a mirror and coming out the other end as some kind of underfed yeti?

She betrayed none of this in her expression; it would be an unforgivable display of weakness. Thank Celestia for this body's immobile ears and lack of tail. "I don't entirely understand what it is you want me to do," said Spoiled Rich.

Sunset smiled. "To put it simply, be yourself."

Author's Note

Guess what the literal translation of "utopia" is.

And yeah, I figured if anypony's going to get a mink stole as part of her human world outfit, it'll be Spoiled Rich.

Derponic Consultation, by SaintAbsol

"Is there some reason I'm here and not spending time with my time displaced daughter?" Seeing Ditzy Doo angry at someone was a pretty rare sight, all things considered. Her normally bubbly personality meant she tended to be easygoing, but interrupting some planned bonding time with Dinky was apparently enough to pop those bubbles.

Even if it was the local deity doing the interrupting.

"I'm sorry, Ditzy," Sunset Shimmer said, leading the way through the orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. "But, as strange as it might sound, I think you'll know more about what we're dealing with than anyone else I know."

Ditzy's eyes blinked just out of sync with each other. "...what do you mean?"

Sunset sighed, holding out one of her hands to the nearest tree. "I mean... this." Green energy started to flow off the apple tree, before gathering in Sunset's palm. Rather than just sitting there, the energy started to shift into a coherent shape: a glowing tree made of dark green energy surrounded by a green circle. "Look familiar?"

Ditzy could only stare as her eyes drifted out of alignment. "That... that..." She shook her head to clear it. "That's a mana symbol from Hocus Pocus: The Get-Together!"

"Yep." Sunset closed her hand and the energy burst apart, falling to the ground and causing the grass to grow all the way to her ankles. "It's started to gather here recently, and I was hoping you could help me find a way to disperse it. Sooner would be better than later, by the way."

"... Why do I get the feeling there's already a problem?"

"You'll know in about five seconds."

Right on cue, the a muffled boom sounded in the air, followed by another, then another, and another; Ditzy almost opened her mouth to protest when she realized Sunset was leading her toward those same booms, but Sunset held up her hand to halt any conversation as they rounded a hill.

"Howdy, Sunset, Ditzy, got any ideas on how to fix this yet?"

Ditzy staggered back as she looked up... way up... at Applejack. The earthen girl towered at over five stories tall; thankfully, she was clothed, but that just added to the strangeness of looking up at the fifty foot tall Apple. "I.. I..."

"We're working on it, AJ," Sunset said as she helped Ditzy back to her feet. "Just... hold on a bit longer."

Applejack shrugged. "As long as yer sure you can fix this, Ah ain't too worried. It's helpin' out with some chores, too, so Ah can't complain too much." She turned from her friends, can called out over the orchard. "Hey, Macintosh! You got those bushels in place?"

"Eeyup!" Macintosh's call was noticeably quieter than his sister's, but still audible.

"Alright, might wanna brace yerselves." AJ bent her knees slightly, and Ditzy could swear she actually heard her muscles bunching up, before launching herself skyward.

It was a bit surreal to see the massive figure of Applejack getting enough air on her jump to clear a good number of houses, but gravity did reassert itself eventually, and several tons of farm-girl slammed back to the ground. The impact knocked both Sunset and Ditzy off their feet, as well as nearly every apple off the trees of the orchard. As AJ pulled her boots out of the craters she had made, Ditzy and Sunset both looked at each other.

"So..." Sunset started. "I don't know how this works, but is those normal for this stuff?"

"Well, Green is known for making bigger and more powerful creatures; so, I suppose so." Ditzy put a hand to her chin in thought. "Maybe if we can find a source of Blue to counteract it..." Ditzy started muttering under her breath as she started to mentally toss around ideas to deal with the big apple girl.

Sunset just sighed, rubbing her temple. "I really hope this doesn't turn into a regular thing..."

Author's Note

I swear I had nothing to do with this. Pentachromatic manifestations (manafestations?) are rare events in the Oversaturated World. Most of them happen around Ravnica High.

Become Immense, by SaintAbsol

Sweet Apple Acres was a quiet place most of the time. Well away from the hustle and bustle of the city, even with the advent of magic, and full of large open fields peppered with various crops (mostly apples, of course), it made for a nice place to just sit and think. Which was what Applejack found herself doing, subconsciously fingering a new bracelet around her wrist, a single apple-shaped charm attached to it.

"Weren't you just complaining about how you wanted your own adventures not more than two weeks ago?"

Applejack jumped in her seat, having been too distracted by rubbing at the charm to notice Sunset walking up to her. "I mean... yeah, I was... but... this ain't what I was expectin'."

"Can't say I was either; but, I tend to leave matters of fate to the Crusaders."

"I've been meanin' to talk to Apple Bloom about this whole thing too... make sure it don't get outta hand."

Sunset snorted, actually sounding so much like a horse that Applejack couldn't help but give her a look. "I'm sorry," she said, "but it does seem like it's a bit late for that, don't you think?"

As Applejack opened her mouth to respond, her cellphone started beeping in a very specific and intricate pattern. The farm girl sighed as she pulled it out of her skirt pocket and answered. "Yeah? Yeah, Ah'm free... What?! All the way there!? ... Ugh, fine, but you owe me fer this one." She hung up and turned to Sunset. "Sorry, 'duty calls', or whatever is they say in the comics."

"Just stay safe... and try putting some of those lessons from Rarity and me to good use."

"I will." AJ stood and stretched a bit, before touching the apple charm and taking off in a run. As she dashed away, green mana seeped into her her every step, and her strides steadily lengthened as her height steadily increased. By the time she'd reached the nearest tree, she was already a head taller than it, and she just kept growing. Her steps shook the ground before she was halfway out of the farm, and by the time she was sprinting off toward the city, she was a towering titan of a girl whose boots left cracks and craters in their wake.

Sunset simply shook her head, and vanished off to her 'house' to catch the show; AJ's fights with the various "kaiju," as they'd been dubbed by countless internet forums, always made the news.

(Note: Canonicity plummets from this point on.)

The muted television glowed in the dimly lit room, displaying the image of a multistory girl in stereotypical "farmer" attire keeping a hogtied, vaguely reptilian creature pinned down as various government vehicles swarmed around the pair. Two pairs of eyes watched the footage, one that seemed to almost glow with a blue light, the other with noticeably slit pupils. "Quite the rare sight," one of them said, "seeing someone with the skill to call up pentachromatic mana outside of our little... collection."

"Technically, it's monochromatic," the other grumbled. "She's only using green, not any other color."

"That's more color than most," the first countered. "Either way, the fact she can is intriguing. It might be prudent to send her an... invitation to our establishment."

"Need I remind you this girl already attends Canterlot High?"

The first snorted, a bit of smoke shooting from his nostrils. "I fail to see the relevance."

"She is also a close friend of the deity also attending that school."

"An interesting, but still irrelevant, bit of information, Vice Principal Beleren."

Jace Beleren found himself, not for remotely the first time, suppressing the urge to groan, facepalm, bash his head against a wall, or any combination of the three. Keeping Ravnica High in some semblance of organized chaos while also dealing with the eccentricities of Principal Niv-Mizzet was an exercise in frustration that probably would have broken a lesser man. As it was, however, even he could feel a stress-induced headache coming on over the principal's latest topic of interest.

"Very well; however, I require two concessions on your part."

Niv-Mizzet turned his gaze ever so slightly, peering at Jace out of the corner of his eye. "Those being?"

"I want my own disapproval of this endeavor noted, even if it does succeed."

"As you wish," Niv-Mizzet responded. "And the second?"

"You let me broach the matter with Luna this weekend before I send the invitation."

That caused a scowl to form on the principal's vaguely draconic face, but Jace didn't flinch, merely raising an eyebrow.

After a moment of silence, Niv-Mizzet turned back to the television, now displaying the girl helping load the creature into a container for transport. "Fine. But not a single day more, Vice Principal Beleren."

"Thank you, sir." Jace said, turning and finally exiting the dimly lit office. He blinked several times as the more natural light hit his face, then sighed to himself. He was going to need a shot of... something in his next cup of coffee. At the moment, he didn't particularly care what.

"This is not going to end well, no matter what Luna says."

Author's Note

As I noted in the fiction thread, I am strongly tempted to make Niv-Mizzet a malevolent Professor X figure, but I know I have anything but an objective perspective when it comes to opportunities to cross pastel horses and collectible cardboard.

Flash Animism, by Masterweaver

"Oh Divine Bacon Horse, Traveler Of Realms, Glorious Proclaimer, Shelled Mystic, She Of The Wonderous Mane, Wellspring Of Magic And Sanity! I, who shares your equine essence, do beseech and implore ye, that you may answer of me a question which burns to my core! I ask whe'er beings whose origins are not of the ape have themselves souls! I ask whe'er these souls should be treated any different! I beg of you, Divine Bacon Horse, hear my plea, and mote your answer at your leisure!"

Sunset Shimmer appeared before Lyra Heartstrings even as she whinnied and prostrated herself westward, rolling her eyes. "Is this about the PAULDRONS thing?"

"You are wise as ever, Wellspring of Magic and Sanity!"

"Alright. Hmm. Well... the truth is..." Sunset bit her lip. "...actually pretty complicated. Would it be alright for me to write up a lecture on the subject and make a video later?"

"Oh bearer of the wondrous mane, that ye take so much time and effort to answer even I tis a gift yet I cannot claim to its incredibility!"

"...I'm just going to take that as a yes." Sunset looked down at Lyra. "Um. So..."

She paused.

"...you're going to stay like that until I make a big exit, aren't you."

"You are the glorious proclaimer, and your proclamation is what all followers heed!"

Sunset shrugged, rising on her rear hooves and whinnying dramatically before vanishing from the room.

Going Where It Needs To, by Maran

“Ms. Frazzle, do we have to take your bus on this field trip?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom nudged her arm with her bony elbow.

Sweetie turned toward her friend. “What?” she asked quietly.

“You're hurtin' its feelin's,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo raised her eyebrows. “Did your earth aspect magic tell you that?”

“A bit. But I can mostly tell just by lookin' at its face.” She pointed at the school bus. Like most vehicles, the bus had headlights and a bumper that vaguely resembled eyes and a mouth. The ends of the bumper drooped, and the headlamps tilted downward.

“Ohh,” said Scootaloo and Sweetie together.

“It's not that I don't like the bus,” said Sweetie. “The bus is... nice. It's just that the last time I was on the bus I saw more of Snips than I ever wanted.”

“I understand, Sweetie Belle,” Ms. Frazzle said sympathetically.

Sweetie stared at her teacher. Ms. Frazzle's chartreuse frock was covered with images that Sweetie recognized as stylized viruses and white blood cells. She never seemed to mind when people ogled her unusual fashion choices.

“You do?” asked Sweetie.

“Oh, yes. Not everyone has the stomach to go through the digestive tract on the first field trip of the year.”

Diamond Tiara groaned. “Again with the puns?”

“I just can't help myself.” The teacher's mauve eyes twinkled.

“Come on, Sweetie, it wasn't that bad,” said Scootaloo. “It's not like the world almost ended.”

“That's the spirit, Scootaloo!” said Ms. Frazzle with a smile.

“Yeah, and I don't think we were ever in any real danger,” said Apple Bloom. “The same magic that made us small as mites protected us from the stomach acid and... and the rest.”

Sweetie Belle gave her an incredulous look.

“What?” asked Apple Bloom.

Sweetie opened her mouth, but paused for a moment as she thought about what to say.

However, Silver Spoon beat her to it. “Apple Bloom, you're the one who came up with the theory that Ms. Frazzle let us get swallowed on purpose. Why are you defending her now?”

Apple Bloom glanced from her classmate to her orange-haired teacher. “Because she did a good job teachin' us about how digestion works. And how many folks can say they were eaten alive and lived to tell about it?”

“Right?” said Scootaloo. “It was way more exciting than Seven Flags!”

“Besides, I'm sure she meant well. Didn't you Ms. Frazzle?”

“Well, Apple Bloom, I didn't exactly plan for our class to learn about digestion so extensively. The bus planned it that way.” She held out her pale, creamy hand toward the school bus. The vehicle's headlights and bumper perked up.

Diamond Tiara stepped toward it. “The bus must have a very sophisticated AI,” she said.

“Ah, excellent deduction, Diamond Tiara. The bus is attuned to my deepest desires, and sometimes I may tell it to do one thing, but it knows that I really want to do something else, and so it does that instead,” explained Ms. Frazzle.

“Oh. Wow,” said Sweetie. She didn't doubt that her teacher's deepest desire was to experience the body's breakdown of food up close. It had been obvious from day one that Ms. Frazzle was an odd duck.

“But what if you really need to go somewhere that you don't want to go?” she asked. “Isn't there some way to override it?”

“As I always say, if you keep asking questions, you'll keep getting answers,” said Ms. Frazzle.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. “If you don't know, just say so. If you want, I can check out the coding for you and figure out how to override it.”

“You should probably include 'please' in that code,” said Scootaloo.

Diamond Tiara shot her a sour look. “You just had to get that dig in there, didn't you.”

“Thank you for the offer, Diamond Tiara. I'll have to take a rain check on it. Mr. Discord expects us to be at the NAHTI in thirty minutes,” said Ms. Frazzle. “He's not too particular about punctuality, but I still wouldn't want to keep him waiting too long.”

“How can we be sure that the bus won't think that you don't really want to go to the NAHTI and decide to do what you really want instead?” asked Sweetie, wringing her hands.

“Trust me, Sweetie Belle, there is nothing that I would love more than to visit my friend John Discord. But even if the bus thinks otherwise, I'm sure Diamond Tiara can figure something out on the fly.”

Diamond Tiara nodded. “I'll give it a shot. Anyway, I don't think we have a choice if we want to go on this field trip. All the other buses have left.”

At that moment, Button Mash stuck his head out of one of the bus's windows. “Hey, are you guys coming or what? I think Lizzie's getting antsy.”

“Tell Lizzie we'll be right there, Button Mash. To the bus!” Ms. Frazzle pointed with her arm outstretched.

The girls walked toward the school bus, Sweetie Belle bringing up the rear.

She paused in front of the door and sighed. “I have a feeling I should've stayed home today.”

Scootaloo glanced over her shoulder at Sweetie. “Did your future sense tell you that?”

“No, just a feeling.”

Author's Note

Unlike certain merchants, Ms. Frizzle Frazzle had the patience to go through customs.

Live Current, by ArtieStroke

"This is stupid," Adagio grumbled. "We already do that stupid news segment. Under duress, no less!"

"Lighten up, 'Dagi!" Sonata said, dice clacking as she rolled them in her hand, "Besides, people kinda adore us for doing that whole 'My Sister, My Sister, and Me' thing! Don't you like that?"

Adagio frowned. The brat had a point. She had a point and she hated it. And because of that, she would absolutely refuse to acknowledge that point.

"Our dear Sonata is right," Mr. Discord said, shuffling his character sheet around as Aria checked the mic, "This will be an ABSOLUTE blast!"

"You jerks just better have your character sheets ready," Aria said, confident the microphones were set up just right, "I don't wanna be running a circus here."

"Another valid question- how come Aria is the one in charge here?"

"She asked first," Mr. Discord replied, with a shrug, and then grinned, "Besides, I've been dying to bring back good old Captain Wuzz for a new romp; haven't played him since Ogres and Oubliettes 3rd Edition. 4.0 was a total wash, but dearest Twilight has assured me 5th edition is a decent streamlining of what 3.5 was."

"I am so excited to play Chalupa!" Sonata said bouncing in her seat and turning to Adagio, "Oh, oh, what did you make for your character?"

Adagio smirked, flourishing her sheet, "Silly as this farce is, my enchantress, Dazalia, will still probably be the best character here."

"Dazalia?"

"Well at least I didn't name her after a friggin' taco!"

"Shut up, we're ready now," Aria said, sitting down in her chair. Adagio harrumphed, and Aria leaned into the mic, speaking with a much huskier tone.

"Strap on your fantasy seatbelts and hold onto your butts... it's The Odyssey Realm."

Author's Note

It's like a livestream, but with ocean creatures.

Quoth the author:

For those wondering, Chalupa is a Drow Satire Bard, Captain Wuzz is a Tiefling Beastmaster Ranger (Fluttershy's had a little influence on him, what can I say), and Dazalia is a human variant Sea sorceress (someone's not very creative)

Duskfall, by Jenna Cipher

"Come again?"

"I want you to make it—"

"Yes, I heard you, but didn't we do this gag already? It just seems a bit repetitive, that's all."

"Come on. Pleeeease?"

"Ugh, I swear, you're worse than my nieces. Fine."

"And in other news, what was thought to be a meteor shower, somehow turned out to be two hundred thousand tacos, give or take seven, falling from orbit. NEISA has refused to comment beyond pointing out that it doesn't seem physically possible—for whatever that's worth these days—and noting vague similarities to last years 'bacon rain' incident."

Sunset Shimmer's eye twitched, and she sighed. "At least it's not bacon..."

You All Bleat in a Tavern, by ArtieStroke

"And so, where exactly do we sign up for our stage names again?" Dazalia asked, a cheshire grin on her face and a finger on the fantasy concert-supervisor's chest. The supervisor was, in a word, nonplussed.

"Listen, we'll figure that out later—"

"It's too late, I've already got it," Dazalia interrupted, twirling with a flourish, "They call me... Lómelindë~"

And with a turn she was suddenly adorned in a feathered dress, with a tiara upon her head that somewhat resembled the face of a nightingale.

Chalupa clapped, "Oooh! I remember that; it's like the masks we used in the silly fun-time races!"

"You and I remember that race very, very differently."

The supervisor cleared his throat, "Uh, and what exactly does 'lómelindë' mean?"

Dazalia rolled her eyes, "It's elvish for 'nightingale', obviously."

"And I suppose you don't know what the elvish word for 'dorky' is, do you?" Captain Wuzz asked, barely holding back a snort.

Dazalia glared at him, gritting her teeth before screaming.

"Elvish is NOT DORKY, DAD!"

Adagio Dazzle froze as she stood up from her chair, pure shock and fear etched into her face. Aria and Sonata both gave each other a look, before howling with laughter. Weirdly enough, a certain Mister John Discord was not laughing. One might even described his face as weirded out, an emotion he hadn't been sure if he was capable of feeling before that moment.

"This is absolutely canon now," Aria managed to choke out, stumbling back into her chair, "This has happened in fiction. You absolutely, no take backs, said 'Elvish is not dorky, Dad' to the Captain."

The other two sirens continued to laugh until they started wheezing, as Adagio slowly and deliberately sat back down in her chair. She then very slowly, and even more deliberately, sank her head into her arms, folded on the table, and let out a strangled noise that can only be produced when one accidentally calls their boss 'dad'.

This was going to be a long campaign.

Stoking the Firemind, by SaintAbsol

Author's Note

I strongly recommend reading Pest Control before reading this one.

Stoking the Firemind, by SaintAbsol

There were often times that Jace found himself wondering how Niv-Mizzet managed to get anything done in his perpetually dark office.

While Jace's ego would have been quick to claim that he was the one that got things done, and he was only still the Vice Principal out of his own humility, the rational part of his mind reminded him that Niv-Mizzet did still have final say on quite a lot of matters pertaining to the school board, as well as holding enough sway with certain members that even Abacus Cinch's legendary 'Reputation' would be hard pressed to counter him.

Which, of course, just made denying him his occasional obsessions all the harder to do.

Jace made sure to keep his face impassive as the principal continued to stare at the television, watching shaky videos of young 'Saint' Applejack as she did battle with an insectoid abomination. Vines, wood, and even an actual tree at one point all seeming to spring out of nowhere as she fought with it, her eyes visibly flashing green each time. And through it all, Niv-Mizzet barely seemed to blink as he watched in silence.

Finally, after the report cut back to the news room, he muted the device with a gesture. "Her skill with pentachromatic mana is growing," Niv-Mizzet said at last, his gaze shifting to Jace. "One could almost say she has a gift for it."

"She has skill with it," Jace diplomatically responded. "That doesn't make her a prodigy."

"It still makes her interesting." Niv-Mizzet's hand fingered a coin of some sort, the markings on it long since rubbed away by the man's subconscious habit. "It also makes her a perfect candidate for our collection."

"We had an agreement, Niv-Mizzet." Jace knew better than to make his tone accusatory, but even he couldn't hold in the entirety of his nerves at the moment.

Thankfully, the principal was engrossed in the television display once more, now displaying the gigantic girl as she jogged alongside a highway. "I have not forgotten my word, Vice Principal Beleren. You will still have the time you requested; however, I do suggest you try to be very... persuasive with Canterlot High's vice principal, as well as its principal should it come to that." Jace's throat suddenly felt dry and the room quite a bit warmer as Niv-Mizzet glared at him out of the corner of his eye. "I do not have much patience for needless delays."

The sensation was gone just as it came, and Jace gulped, feeling some sweat running from his brow and down his face. "Of course, Sir."

"Good." Niv-Mizzet turned back to the television and waved one of his hands. "You are dismissed."

Jace had to concentrate to keep his steps slow and measured as he exited the office, releasing a breath he'd only been half aware he was holding as soon as he'd closed the door. "...may all the gods damn this job," he muttered. "And damn me for accepting it." With a final shake of his head, Jace headed toward his office, already organizing his thoughts for what he'd have to do tomorrow evening.
He was going to need a lot of protective spells for the coming conversation.

Traveling Salesman Problem, by Masterweaver

Sunset sighed as she slipped into the Astral Plane. She didn't like to think she could be overwhelmed but, on occasion, there were just too many people doing too many stupid things in one day. After cleaning up a particular magic convergence, firmly lecturing the leaders of the twelve countries involved, and asking her church to help with the clean-up, she was looking forward to a nice time alone.

"HELLO THERE!"

Which was abruptly interrupted by what looked to be a lizardy bird thing with squid tails.

"Are you feeling a little unsatisfied with the state of your cosmic residence?" it asked perkily, coiling around the astral realm. "Is your background dull or disturbing? Do you wish you had the glorious arches and altars needed to wow mortal visitors?"

Sunset facepalmed. "I do not need this right now..."

"We-he-hell, you don't have to decide right now," the creature admitted with a fanged grin. "But in case you EVER need a hand redecorating, Cross-Cosmos Decor and Furniture is always available to lend a manipulatory appendage of your choice!"

"Look, I've had a very, very long day. I just want to relax and—"

"Nooooot a problem! Your first ethereal environmental restructuring comes free with up to TEN kilo-prayers worth of furniture!" The strange being snapped its talons and a large marble hot tub with ornate images carved into its surface dropped behind it. "As you can see, we seek to anticipate any and all of our customer's wants and needs. The iconography on this luxurious piece is fully adjustable, so you can update it at will with your holy symbols or a histography of your miraculous accomplishments—"

Sunset rubbed her forehead wearily. "Oh, geeze. Okay, I can see that this is your job and all, but—really, I'm still getting used to this whole deity thing and honestly? I don't want to make any decisions while I'm this stressed out."

"Oh I sympathize entirely," the creature replied. "In fact, might I recommend a lovely stellar format for your realm?" With a wave of its arm, the entire region transformed into something resembling a NEISA photograph. "This wondrous view of the cosmos has been guaranteed by a significant amount of psychologists to—"

Its voice was cut off when Sunset grabbed its snout, dragged its head down, and looked into its eyes.

"Take your stuff with you," she growled, "and come back in three days—local time—with a catalog. Do. You. Understand?"

It nodded.

"Right. Good."

Sunset released her grip. The creature held up a talon, paused, and snapped again, undoing all that had been done before vanishing.

For a moment, Sunset stared into space. Then she rocked forward, fell onto what counted as the ground, and gave a long, aggravated sigh.

Weighty Matters, by SaintAbsol

"So, you've got a fangirl."

Applejack blinked as she looked away from the retreating figure of Zipporwhill, glancing over to Sunset as the other girl typed away on her phone. "Startin' to think yer followin' me, Sunset."

The girl-turned-goddess shrugged as she continued to type away. "I try to keep a close eye on all my friends; you've just been getting a bit more attention as of late because of that... trick, of yours."

Applejack fingered her charm without even thinking about it, mind wandering. "That's one way o' sayin' it... yeah." She was silent for a moment, before shaking her head. "And, yeah, met Zipporwhill at that weddin' a little ways back. Nice kid; bit excitable, needs to learn a bit o' self-preservation, but nice. Likes to be 'round whenever I get big, thinks it's cool or somethin'."

Sunset just shrugged, finally looking up from her phone, then frowned at something behind her friend. "AJ, incoming."

"Huh?" Applejack turned, just in time to see a man in a three-piece suit, horn-rimmed glasses, and carrying a briefcase strolling toward them with a purpose.

"Ms. Applejack?" he questioned.

Applejack hesitated a moment, but slowly nodded. "... Eeyep?"

The man reached into the inner pocket of his suit, and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it over to Applejack. "Have a nice day." And, with that, the man turned and walked away, leaving a very confused Applejack behind him.

"... What was that about?" Applejack looked down at the folded bit of parchment, slowly opening it up. "It's a letter... from the state department?" AJ's eyes flashed across it, slowly widening as she she read more and more. "I'm bein' sued!"

Sunset looked over Applejack's shoulder, peering at the letter. "For what?"

"Destruction o' property," she responded, still gaping at the letter. "When I was fightin' one o' those monsters the other day, I accidentally sat on a warehouse. Now the owner's tryin' to sue me fer... there is no way in Tartarus that thing was worth THAT much!"

Sunset winced in sympathy as AJ started to rant and rave about the legal system, the building's owner, and various other aspects of the situation. Pulling out her phone, Sunset called up her bank account, as well as sending a text to Ruby to set up a meeting with Ounce Pin... she was going to need a very crazy lawyer to take up AJ's defense.

In a Friendly Neighborhood, by ArtieStroke

Featherweight jolted up as that... what was that, a bear? Certainly not like any bear he'd seen before. He flashed Wiz a look of worry, who simply nodded in return as the two of them bolted from the stands. As soon as Featherweight had dove underneath them, he was already worming his way out of his jacket. Wiz slid right next to him, phone out and numbers called.

"Eye in the Sky to Dapper Gent, we've got a situation at the high school-"

"Well aware, old boy," Fancy Pants' voice crackled on the other end, "Perhaps we should come up with shorter monikers? Bit of a mouthful, that—"

"Roger that and whatever. What the actual heck is going on?!"

"Seriously?" Featherweight said, mask over his face and his new suit sealed tight to his teenage form.

"We don't quite know. Just some panicked chatter about angry shadowy beasts converging on the high school over the radio."

"Wait there's gonna be more of these things?!"

"Not if we can help it," Featherweight interrupted, now fully donning the Spider-Hawk costume. With a thwip, the micro-grappler sunk into the roof of a nearby building, and Wiz was alone.

"Stay safe little bro. Fancy, can you help us out at all?"

"Already on my way. Got a wave from Sunny, looks like it's a boys-night-out for now. Need to keep the students safe."

"Yeah," Wiz looked over back to the field- the Rainbooms were giving what they could to those creatures, but it seemed like a close battle. As for the Crystal Prep team... they were still running the relay.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," Wiz groaned. So much for the friendship part of these games.

Author's Note

You may want to (re)familiarize yourself with Playing Hero if you find yourself confused by this one.

In any case, the timeline doesn't quite mesh here, but when has that ever stopped comics? :raritywink:

Early Release, by SaintAbsol

Twilight Velvet hummed to herself as she carried in a few mid-week groceries, really just a single bag of some snacks and Spike's favorite brand of dog treats (and he'd been sure to tell everyone they were his favorite now that he could speak). Still, it was one of those increasingly rare 'normal' days for her. There wasn't anything on the news about various superheroes, nor any announcements about the laws of physics being bent or broken with magic, her daughter hadn't accidentally shattered space and time, and Sunset had even suggested a perfectly normal 'not-a-date' for the two of them involving dinner and a movie.

With that track record, she really should have been expecting the universe to pull the rug out from under her.

As soon as she placed the bag on the counter, she turned away... and was met by something that looked like a robotic toy; a small dog, roughly Spike's size, that tilted its head at her as it sat on the floor.

"You are my Creator's Creator... yes?" She, for that was definitely a female voice under all that synthesizing, spoke.

Twilight Velvet was silent for a long moment, before slowly closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. "Twilight Sparkle! Get in here this instant!"

"What did I tell you about this sort of thing?!"

Twilight found herself unable to meet her mother's glare as she sheepishly adjusted her glasses. "Technically... you just told me no experimenting on Spike..."

"Don't you try to Exact Words me, young lady! You know exactly what I meant!"

As mother and daughter argued back and forth, two dogs (one robotic, one organic) watched the verbal volley with eyes flashing back and forth.

"They're going to be at that for a while," Spike observed, then turned to his synthetic counterpart. "So... how's life treating you so far?"

The mechanical canine shrugged, still watching the fight. "It is too early to make an informed judgment regarding such a matter."

"Kay," Spike was quiet again for a moment, then spoke up once again. "Wanna go chase squirrels in the backyard?"

"Yes."

"Excellent," Spike said as they both rose to their paws. "They're not going to stand a chance."

Electric Light Duet, by Masterweaver and FoME (Suggestive)

(Masterweaver)

"... I... I have no words."

Sunset took a breath. "Rarity, I know this is strange—"

"This isn't just strange. This is... this is a form of fashion that... this is science fiction."

"Rarity—"

"How does this even... Why would she even... Is there... What is the point?" Rarity cried, gesturing futilely. "What is the point?! I can get accentuating features but this is—"

"Look. It was her decision. I checked with her dad; she raised the money, she paid for it."

"Sunset, Vinyl has implanted an LED network into the skin of her boobs! HER BOOBS! They can make flashy patterns now, and--I can't even—why?!"

Sunset considered her for a moment or two.

"...Octavia seems to like it."

"More evidence she's secretly insane, then. THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFETIME!"

(FoME)

Sonic bliss filled the basement bunker as it had most days over the summer, but today's session came to an abrupt halt as one of the performers found herself shaking too hard to continue.

"Vi—" Octavia hiccuped, then took a few deep breaths, resting her cello on its stand lest she drop it. "Vinyl, please."

Vinyl just tilted her head inquisitively.

"Look, if you don't want to wear a bra in your own house, that's your business. But I can't perform if I'm watching you synchronize your... your bosom to the song like we're a two-girl Trans-Sibearian Orchestra."

Vinyl gave an innocent, wide-eyed look that might have worked better without the shades. It definitely would have worked better if she didn't then whistle an arpeggio with accompanying chest-mounted light show shining through her almost translucent T-shirt.

Octavia's face twisted up until she burst into shameful giggles. "All right, all right, I'll say it! Stop flashing your tits at me!"

Author's Note

SaintAbsol asked what the difference was between silicon and silicone. This resulted.

And yes, this is a real thing.

The Wisdom of Fools, by Masterweaver (Sex)

"SEX! SEX EVERYWHERE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHshpffblrgalwaaaaaaa— pfft-pfffff..."

The now thoroughly soaked Lemon Zest gave Sunny Flare a flat look.

"Not everybody thinks about sex—"

"I highly doubt that!"

"—all the time."

"That's far more likely," Lemon allowed. "Still, kind of a big deal, given that it was pretty much the way to create life for most of known history, and also kind of fun."

"You're a virgin."

"And how do you know that?"

Sunny half-smiled. "I have my ways."

"Oh-ho-ho! So Flare Bear does have a saucy side!" The drenched Lemon Zest scooted close to the other girl. "So tell me, oh wise one..."

She pressed her chest close to the other's shoulder.

"...can you teach this humble soul the intimate ways of the carnal arts?"

Sunny Flare rolled her eyes. "If you're trying to get a rise out of me, you'll be sadly disappointed."

"What, you straight?"

"No, I just have a very low libido."

"Oh that I can definitely believe. A sopping wet hot chick on your shoulder and you don't even blush?"

"Sopping wet, I'll grant you."

"HEY!"

"You know we're in public, right?" Sunny gave her a look. "And that your mother will probably hear about this?"

"Eh, like she can stop me. Worst she can do is cut me off."

Sunny Flare's eyebrow rose. "That's generally a very bad thing."

"Yeeeeeeees," Lemon drawled, "because money is totes necessary for stuff like shelter, right? But I have a secret I want to tell you."
She looked left. She looked right. She leaned in.

"Money is worthless without people."

"Right, yes, its value only exists because society—"

"No no no, you don't get it. Let me put it another way." Lemon leaned back. "You know the phrase 'Money is power?' I prefer to say 'Money is power translated.' Power can be translated a lot of ways—through money, through military, through magic, through knowledge and study and science—but there is only one real source of power."

"Sunset Shimmer?"

"People." Lemon shrugged. "Sunset is also people, mind, but she's not the only people."

Sunny Flare paused for a moment or two. "...That is actually remarkably deep, now that I think about it."

"Aha! You see, I can do smart!"

"You just choose not to so people underestimate you."

"And so they don't exploit me."

"So, what?" Sunny asked. "Your mom cuts you off, and...?"

"I ask Sugarcoat to house me for a week or two while I look for an apartment. I ask Jet Set to put in a good word for me at some local business, so I can get a job. Maybe I ask one of the other members of the church for charity every once in a while. They do it, because I've made sure--absolutely sure--that I'm worth their time and effort."

"And if they don't?"

Lemon shrugged. "Then you're going to get to see me as a pauper begging at your doorstep for bread."

Sunny snorted. "Why my doorstep?"

"Figured you'd get a kick out of it."

"...I might, at that..."

Doo Keep Watch, by ArtieStroke and Masterweaver

(ArtieStroke)

"So, that was pretty crazy, right?" Flash said, taking a seat next to a frazzled-looking Ditzy. She smiled lightly. The courtyard of CHS was gonna need some serious repairs after Cinch's little meltdown.

"I'll say. Still not as bad as that time with the corn starch goo in third grade."

Flash grimaced, his face coloring a little, "Ah man, you still remember that?"

"Pretty sure photos of our faces are still taped next to Mrs. Method's supply closet with 'Do not let these students near non-Applian fluids' written underneath."

They both chuckled at that, but Flash frowned. "Something's eating at ya, Dee."

"Is it that obvious?" Ditzy asked, before sighing, "That one Shadowbolt, Indigo? Dash thought she might have flung herself outside dimensions but..."

"Even with your own weird transdimensional travel stuff, you can't find her?"

Ditzy nodded. Flash put a hand on her shoulder, a small but reassuring smile on his face. "You're top-notch people, Dee. Don't get yourself too worked up about it. Things seem pretty dark before they get light again, you know?"

Ditzy smiled for a moment, before sticking her tongue out and playfully shoving him. "You've always been such a sap, Sentry!"

"Probably got something to do with the cornstarch incident," Flash returned in kind, before standing up, "And hey, if there's anything I could ever do to help..."

"I think the talk was just about what I needed," Ditzy said, smiling. "Now get along, ya big goofball."

Flash grinned, giving a mock salute before going back to... well, whatever sensitive musician types do.

"Wow," Blue Oyster said, taking up Flash's old spot.

"Yeah. Feels like that's the first I've heard Flash say anything in like... months," Raspberry Fluff agreed, seating herself on Ditzy's opposite side.

Our heroine of many planes of existence shrugged. "Guy's had a tough couple of months. His ex is basically god now, you know?"

"Still not god!" Sunset shouted, out of habit.

"Of course you'd know what his deal is," said Blue. "Haven't you two been friends since basically kindergarten?"

"Something like that."

Razz gasped, thoughts aligning, "Wait, you don't think he...?"

Ditzy and Blue looked at Razz for a few moments in confusion, before the same thoughts dawned on them.

"Oh, jeeze I hope not!"

"With her childhood friend? That would be SO cliche!"

All three turned towards the small form of Dinky, chatting with the Crusaders in the aftermath of the games. Ditzy squinted. The purple of her skin didn't look... TOO blue, did it?

(Masterweaver)

Then Ditzy blinked. "Wait—no, hold on this doesn't make sense. Chronologistically speaking—"

Everyone around her groaned. "Skrith damn it," Blue said, metamorphosing into a horrific monster, "can't you GALAX-E girls ever be taken in by a mental hallucination?"

"Gotta train for everything," Ditzy replied, flashing into her skirt ensemble. "Traditionally, I'd demand your surrender, but you guys have never taken it."

(ArtieStroke)

"Okay, I'm starting to get Moony's frustration now. Seriously, timelines!! Always timelines!!!!"

Wiz gave Minuette a look for just a moment, turning in confusion to his brother mid-bite into his PB & J. Featherweight shrugged. "Honestly I think it just makes it more obvious how much of a comic-book world we live in now."

Minuette rolled her eyes, "Yeah, well at least you don't get time-sick every time someone sticks an event where it shouldn't be."

"Time-sick?"

Minuette shuddered, "You don't wanna know. Though unfortunately I think you MIGHT some time next Tuesday. Sorry in advance." She frowned a little. "For some reason it's always Tuesdays that are the worst of it. Hmm."

"Maybe there's some kind of temporal connection to tacos in abundance? Like some kind of Neighican-food-anchor?" Wiz suggested.

Minuette looked at him for a long moment, before tapping a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Honestly? Better hypothesis than anything I've thought up so far."

Author's Note

"Non-Applian" of course refers to Falling Apple, the brilliant Bittish scientist who may or may not have permanently borrowed certain concepts from Germane contemporary Infinitesimalrechnung.

And yeah, the Friendship Games took place months before Dinky arrived in the past. Fortunately, these two were able to reconcile the issue in an amusing fashion. As for whether Flash really is the Endymion to Ditzy's Serenity? No comment.

Peril Quarter, by Masterweaver, FoME, and SaintAbsol

(Masterweaver)

"HOLY HECK! You have a functional HOLODECK!"

"Yes, Miss Sparkle. It took a few years to produce but—"

"An actual holodeck for actual training of actual super-heroes!" The purple girl's eyes were wide as she quivered in glee. "I... I just..."

"Wow." Sunset giggled. "I've heard of nerdgasms before, but—"

"This isn't a nerdgasm. This is nerdvana." Twilight hugged one of the projected monsters. "I am living a geek's dream."

Fancy Pants gave a small chuckle of his own. "Glad you approve, Miss Sparkle."

"So I get the holodeck thing," Sunset offered, "and I can totally see why you're going with this. But, um... why did Celestia want me to look it over?"

"Oh. Well, you see, we were planning to use some of your... incidents in our training. The Friendship Games, for instance. Everything that happened there would be a good example of a typical Power Patriot scenario: civilians hypnotized and superpowered, requiring quick thinking and delicate consideration—"

"Ah, right. Yeah, sure, I'm cool with it. Might want to check with everyone that was involved though. And make some other scenarios."

"You've got to pull some stuff from comics," Twilight demanded. "And books. Movies. Video games. This is a live action video game. We can actually—"

"Twilight?" Sunset gripped her shoulders. "Breathe. This is a training room, for people who will be going into dangerous situations. This is not meant to be fun. This is meant to be serious."

"...I mean... it can be both, right?"

(FoME)

"Fancy Industries is planning on a recreational version as a long-term project."

Sunset gave Fancy a harried look. "Mr. Pants, with all due respect, I am trying to defuse a barely subcritical Twilight Sparkle here. You aren't helping."

(SaintAbsol)

"I WANT TO HUG MY CAPSUMON!"

"See what I mean?"

Sunny Delight, by Masterweaver

"...Hey Flare Bear?"

Sunny Flare rolled her eyes. "What is it, Lemon?"

"Are we, like, friends now?"

"....what?"

"I mean, I've been hanging around you and being my usual crazy self. Maybe not as crazy, but you know, still the thing that would have ticked you off in the past, and you've been exasperated but you haven't told me to make tracks like you used to." The pink girl shrugged. "What's up with that?"

"I've learned that it's impossible to convince you to leave, so I endure your nonsense."

"Yeah, that would be a lot more convincing if you didn't actually talk with me. You're answering my question, there's some sort of... some connection there."

"We are both top five Crystal Prep students," Sunny pointed out. "And that means we will almost inevitably be interacting for a long time."

"Sunny, have you ever heard the term 'tsundere?'"

"I have never demonstrated any deredere ways. I do not regard you with affection, romantic or platonic."

Lemon Zest tapped her fingers together. "But... you don't hate me anymore, right?"

"I... What?" Sunny Flare looked up. "Hate you? I've never hated you. Despised you, certainly, considered you a frivolous girl who coasted by on her connections and acted out to unset the balance of society, but that was just disgust. Not hatred." She paused. "And... I will admit, you have proven yourself to have some level of depth behind your actions."

"Oh. So... do you still despise me, then?"

"No, Lemon Zest. These days, I merely find you irritating."

"Enh, that's fair, I kinda think everyone does."

Sunny Flare glanced up. "You know, you could try to be less irritating."

"Yeah, I could." Lemon paused. "Don't think I want to, though. Irritation is great for getting people to say how they really feel, and that always helps when figuring out what they need."

"Still playing the trickster therapist, then?"

The girl grinned broadly. "You know it, babe."

"...new rule: no flirty nicknames."

"But what if we start dating at some point?"

"The rule will never be abolished."

Author's Note

I suppose shipping Lemon with Ditzy would constitute soda, Sour Sweet would be OJ, and Twilight the purple stuff.

Hocus Pocus Beginnings, by Void Knight

“No thanks, Ditzy,” said Twilight. “I don’t play Hocus Pocus: the Get-Together much these days, remember?”

“Oh. Right, I forgot about… that,” replied Ditzy, momentarily looking Very Wise Indeed before scooting down two spaces to sit across from Pinkie, who promptly pulled a deck out of her hair.

“Forgot about what?” asked Sunset after swallowing a mouthful of daisy sandwich. “Judging from the way Ditzy’s acting, I’m guessing there’s a story here?”

Twilight sighed. “You’ll find out sooner or later, specially if you keep poking around the bits of Hocus Pocus magic that are popping up these days. And it’s not really bad, just embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing?” asked Sunset.

“Ok, here’s the thing,” said Twilight. “A couple of years back, Warlocks on the Mount did what was basically a reboot of Hocus Pocus. Starting a new era, with each set connected into one overarching story. A story revolving around five planewalkers, one for each of the five colors. Short Fuse for red, Deep Thought for blue, Femme Fatale for black, Worldwaker for green, and for white…” she paused for a moment, “…Shining Armor.”

“What?” said Sunset in astonishment.

“Yep. Complete coincidence, as far as I can tell. But still, it’s kind of hard to enjoy the story when one of the main characters is named after your brother. Though to be fair, there are much worse characters that could be named after him."

There was a moment's pause, then Twilight said contemplatively, "Funny thing is, if it had started now, it probably wouldn't have affected me so much. When your girlfriend is God Not-Far-Short-Of-Almighty and a decent chunk of the planet worships you as a living saint, having one of the protagonist of a card game be named after your brother is small potatoes in comparison. It's amazing what you can get used to, given time. Maybe I'll dust off the cards."

"Maybe you can teach me," said Sunset. "If I'm to get a handle on these pentachromic leaks, it might help to understand this game. Plus it sounds like a lot of fun."

Author's Note

"In all fairness," said Ditzy, "Shining Armor the planeswalker was established years before that set, back in Rise of the Squirkazi."

"Yeah, but I hadn't started playing when that set came out."

"Fair enough."

Twisted Tales, by ArtieStroke

"You girls wanna Woohoo?"

"Please," Aria said, slumping onto the table in front of her mic, "the only thing worse than the inane questions our viewers send in are the random Woohoo asks they submit."

"Just read the submission, Sonata," Adagio said, filing her nails. The girl obliged.
"Alrighty, this one was sent in by Level 9000 Red Cloaks Captain Quill Davenport—thank you, Davenport! It reads, 'Really freaked out my girlfriend, need help'."

Adagio perked up, "Ooh, relationship advice, my favorite."

Sonata giggled, "You ain't seen NOTHING yet. Anyways, 'When I was younger I dealt with depression, and as a coping mechanism I formed a bit of a bond with the comic character Pasta Cat."

"Oh, please no—"

"It's sad, but reading his shenanigans was the only thing that helped me cope, and eventually it took on an—pff... EROTIC FIXATION!"
Sonata howled with laughter, pounding the table as Adagio's interest quickly waned. Great, just another great big goof. Her talents were wasted on this advice podcast.

Aria, on the other hand... "Holy SHIT this GOLDEN. Is there more?!"

Sonata nodded through her tears of laughter, "In order... PFFF... in order to not feel like some kind of sicko, I started drawing Pasta Cat with a GIRL'S BODY. And in parenthesis, 'think circa mid 90s Chrysalis'."

"Fucking nailed it in ONE. DEFINITELY not the work of a sicko," Aria laughed.

Adagio shrugged. "Honestly, I've seen weirder on the Internet. This is child's play."

"Putting a pin in THAT thought," Aria said, motioning Sonata to continue.

She cleared her throat. "Anyways, long story short, my girlfriend stumbled onto the hidden folder in my computer where I kept my years worth of self-insert fanfiction. How do I show her that I'm just a normal guy with a unique outlet for my emotional troubles?"

Aria nodded sagely, "Well, really there's— first of all, when he's getting goosey with Pasta-Catsylis, is that like a thing that happens only on Mondays? Because that makes just, just a lot of sense."

"Poor abomination against sanity probably hasn't had a good lay in any of those stories," Adagio agreed.

Sonata pouted. "I mean, different strokes and all that, yeah? EVERYONE has some feelings deep inside you would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER tell anyone," Adagio and Aria gave each other a very pointed look, "And I'm not saying mine is on the level of cartoon cat-head person-body—"

"The key to success here," Aria interrupted, "Is just keeping that shit locked AWAY. Like, maybe NOT telling the entirety of the Internet about it? Cause that shit's forever."

"Really screwed the pooch on that one." Adagio agreed.

"Or the pussy."

The three of them all had a good laugh, before Sonata got on the mic again, "Alright, I think that's gonna do it for us, folks. This has been My Sister, My Sister and Me, an advice show for the modern era. I'm Sonata Dusk."

"I'm Aria Blaze."

"And I'm Adagio Dazzle. kiss your lover square on the lips."

With a flick, Sonata turned off the recording equipment, grinning, "I think this may be our best episode yet."

Author's Note

I'll let Artie explain this one:

Quick note- following the MBMBAM submission formula, Davenport FOUND that Woohoo Ask on the net and submitted it to the podcast for giggles- Davenport is NOT the one with the Pasta Cat fanfiction, I do not besmirch our dear sofa and quills salesman. Based on this GOLDEN bit from My Brother, My Brother, and Me.

Strangers in a Strange Land, by Thought Prism

The western Badlands were aptly named. With rain being as scarce there as Pinkie was hyperactive, the area was perpetually dry. Cracks permeated the sun-scorched earth, and only the hardiest of life forms could survive there, magic or not.

It was in that inhospitable place, with nigh but tumbleweeds for company, did something wholly unusual happen. Without warning, a jagged portal appeared, and two men stepped through the gash.

The first had the grizzled expression of a hardened warrior, with a five-o’clock shadow to match. He wore tan and lavender robes, their edges lined with fur, under a navy blue half-cape. His long black hair was streaked with grey, and pinned in place by a pewter hairpiece. A straight scabbard rested on his belt.

The second had the bearing and appearance of an aristocrat, composed and in control. His robes were blue, decorated with patterns of falling snow that matched his pristine white hair. In his hand was an elaborate smoking pipe, and on his head sat an equally elaborate diadem of silver and crystal.

Both took stock of their surroundings. His brow furrowing, the man with the pipe took a long puff and sighed. “Well,” he began, “This place looks—“

However, he was cut off. Because Sunset Shimmer had seen the wound in spacetime along with the two men who appeared from it, and only just now finished politely excusing herself from band practice with the girls.

Naturally, when she manifested herself directly in front of the pair, arms crossed in frustration, they were rather shocked.

“Woah!” the swordsman exclaimed, leaping to the side with his hand poised to draw.

“—promising,” the aristocrat finished. Then, he blinked at Sunset. “Why, hello there. What, may I ask, is a fine young lady such as yourself doing in a place like this?”

“That’s what you ask first?” said the swordsman, no longer reeling. “Not ‘how did you just appear out of nowhere?’ or even ‘do you need some ointment for your massive sunburns?’”

Sunset groaned. “I should be the one asking you questions. Considering you two kinda just tore a gaping hole in the fabric of the universe. Which, I might add, I’ve been working very hard to hold together 24/7.”

The swordsman scratched his nose and thought for a moment. “Oh, so you’re some kind of god, then? I wouldn’t have guessed.”

“I don’t like to think so, but that is the common consensus, yes,” Sunset replied, still unamused. “My name is Sunset Shimmer. I watch over this world, and protect it from magical threats. That said, I’m going to assume you are one unless you can convince me otherwise.”

The swordsman’s face paled a bit, and he glanced over to the aristocrat. “What should I do?” he asked.

The aristocrat waved his hand noncommittally. “I couldn’t say. I’m just a spectator here, after all.”

The swordsman sighed. “Well, I’m Shāng Bù Huàn, and this guy next to me goes by Lǐn Xuě Yā. And we’re, uhh, looking for a safe place.”

Sunset’s eyebrow rose. “Really, now? Define ‘safe place’ for me.”

“You know,” began Bù Huàn, “a world without any crazy villians or demon lords. Somewhere secure.”

“We’re refugees,” said Xuě Yā.

Sunset made a show of sizing up the both of them. Bù Huàn looked uneasy. “Yeah, not buying it,” she said. “If that’s the case, why are there only two of you?”

“Stop lying all the time, Xuě Yā!” exclaimed Bù Huàn. “You made it worse!”

“I didn’t think you were actually going to try and tell this woman the truth,” he replied calmly. “If she is lying, we could be dooming thousands by believing her. And if she isn’t, she may smite us for our insolence.”

“I don’t know why I put up with you…” Bù Huàn muttered to himself.

Sunset cleared her throat. “Why are you actually here?”

Bù Huàn scratched his nose again. “The short answer? I’m trying to get rid of a bunch of powerful magic swords I don’t want falling into the wrong hands.”

“Magic swords,” repeated Sunset. “In plural?”

Xuě Yā nodded. “I believe he has thirty-five in his possession at the moment. Each one is capable of slayings gods and demons alike.”

Sunset’s jaw slowly dropped.

“So, now you know,” said Bù Huàn. “After we look around here for a while, and if it turns out this world of yours actually is safe, I was thinking you could find a good place to put them. Maybe? It would be a huge relief.”

Sunset snapped. “I am not letting you offload thirty-five god slaying swords here!”

“Actually, he’d be keeping the Infinity Carver, so thirty-four,” noted Xuě Yā. “We’d require that one if the need to return here arose.”

“Like that makes a difference?” shouted Sunset. “Yeah, still a no.”

“What? Why not?” Bù Huàn asked, frowning. “They can be useful, otherwise I would have just destroyed them all already.”

Sunset facepalmed. “Look, Bù Huàn, was it? I’m sure they are quite useful. But I pretty much am a god; you think I’d be comfortable keeping them around? Not only that, Earth, the world you’re on right now, already has far too much extradimensional magic for comfort. If these swords of yours are as dangerous as you say, just bringing them here might end up adding enough energy to destabilize reality enough that it becomes beyond my ability to fix. Then the universe would implode.”

Bù Huàn blanched. “Uhh…”

This prompted an identical reaction in Sunset. “Oh Celestia, you brought them all here with you.”

“It’s ok!” he assured. “Eh, probably. They’re all bound in a sealing scroll, and the scroll is locked within my qi.”

Sunset sighed in relief. “Thank goodness. For a second there, I thought their magic was so foreign I couldn’t sense them, and that our doom approached as we spoke.”

Bù Huàn chuckled awkwardly.

“So,” said Xuě Yā suddenly, “I take it you’d wish us to leave immediately?”

“That would be ideal, yes,” agreed Sunset, nodding.

Bù Huàn shook his head. “It’s always something or other with these extradimensional realms. I’m starting to think we should have just stayed in Dōng Lí.”

“Oh, it’s not all bad,” said Xuě Yā. “I did just have the pleasure of utterly humiliating a giant, mallet-wielding penguin not two hours ago, after all.”

Bù Huàn rolled his eyes at that. “Speak for yourself, why don’t you?”

Sunset tapped her foot impatiently. “Less banter, more exiting, please.”

“Right. Sorry. Let’s go, Xuě Yā.”

With that, the two of them stepped back towards the portal, their garments fluttering in the dry winds. About thirty seconds after they passed though, it stitched itself shut from the other side.

Sunset took a deep breath, confirming with her senses that the damage was completely reversed. Then, an idea popped into her head, which she then voiced aloud to better cement internally. “Hmm. Maybe I could have Ditzy track those two down if the angst monsters ever become too much to handle. But for now, it’s back to shredding some strings.”

She then vanished, and the Badlands were once again empty.

Author's Note

I never planned to contribute to this originally, but once I get a good idea, it itches to be born. So have a silly crossover. That said, I shall give a box of internet cookies to anyone who actually recognizes where these characters are from.

~ Thought Prism

Personally, I haven't the slightest clue. Though if you're wondering how those two got past Ms. Harshwhinny, the answer is obvious. They cut in line. :trollestia:

Parting Gift, by BenRG

Author's Note

This is a direct continuation of the previous snippet. Indeed, it's a comment on the previous snippet.

Parting Gift, by BenRG

It wasn't until a few hours later that Sunset, responding to some instinctive urge, returned to realise that a firmly non-magical sword and dagger (previously hidden under some kind of invisibility ward) were sticking in the ground of the badlands more or less exactly where the two extradimensional visitors had been standing. The two weapons were definitely nonmagical. There was absolutely no doubt about it. Every test that Twilight and Mr. Discord could do to analyse it proved that they were two completely mundane constructions of steel with brass and and quartz decorations in fine-tooled leather sheaths.

This indubitable fact didn't make Sunset any happier about the fact that the rapier and its matched main-gauche had visibly sparked as if charged with static electricity when Sunset touched them for the first time. It also didn't change the fact that these weapons, which Sunset had never seen before, had her Cutie Mark at the join of blade, guard and hilt made out of shaped coloured crystal. There were no prophetic dreams; there were no strange magical signs (beyond Sunset's own magic very occasionally reacting to the weapons in odd ways that might have been more to do with the crystalline decorations;) there was certainly no indication that either weapon could do anything other than what they were overtly designed to do.

Sunset was still worried.

Twilight was quite worried when she visited one day to find the sheathed weapons sitting on a chair opposite Sunset in her apartment. Her girlfriend was staring at them as though she were daring them to speak to her or something similar. After a moment, Twilight broke the silence. "So, what are you going to do with them? Are you going to magic them out of existence?"

"That's my first impulse, but no. I don't trust coincidence and I suspect that destroying them would probably break something somewhere. Until I know what's going on, I'm keeping these things where I can keep an eye on them. I don't trust them not to turn out to have a prophecy about them somewhere!" Sunset grimaced unhappily. "Anyway, I've already tried to give them to Trixie's mom and dad; a magical antiques and curios shop is the best place for them but..." The bacon-haired not-a-goddess ran a hand through her hair. "They keep on turning up here in the morning."

Twilight blinked at that news. "Are you still sure...?"

"The only trace of magic is my own thaumic signature, which worries me. Whatever is happening isn't intrinsic to the rapier and dagger but is some aspect of my own magic that I can't sense consciously."

Twilight considered Sunset's worried expression for a few seconds before she finally decided that she needed to ease the tension of the moment. Thanks to her association with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, she concluded that humour was the way to go. "You could always ask Ruby! I'm sure she could get someone to draft a prophecy about them for you!" Twilight giggled at her girlfriend's stricken expression. The lavender-hued mage took a dramatic pose. "They could call it 'Sunset Shimmer and the Legend of the Sun Blades'!"

Sunset's mouth worked silently for a moment. "No," she said at last. "Just... No."

Twilight decided to try her second line of attack and sat down next to Sunset and draw her into an affectionate hug. There is no reason whatsoever to believe that, just as the two girls' attention was diverted, a strange-hued rainbow of seven colours ran along the length of the well-crafted but seemingly-mundane weapons.

All Poured Out, by FoME

"I think I hate Starlight Glimmer."

Sunset couldn't help but smile down at the girl in her lap. She tried to keep any condescension out of her tone. "Trust me, Junior, you don't even know what hatred is."

Junior squirmed and scowled on the comfy, understated chair that had taken Sunset five Realms 4 Less catalogs to find. "Do too."

"Define it."

"Not liking someone a lot." After a moment, Junior continued, "Like, really, really a lot."

"I can't tell if you're being this adorable on purpose or not."

After a moment, Junior giggled. "Neither can I." She crossed her arms. "Though I still don't like Starlight."

"Why not?" said Sunset.

"She used me, broke parts of me, stays in me without anypony asking me what I think, got some of my friends to set me on fire and flood me, and taught her own friend how to teleport my organs."

"Okay, those are pretty good— Wait, what was that about your organs?"

Junior slumped. "Long story. And just when I thought she might be going, she gets to stay anyway. And nopony asked me again!"

Sunset held back most of her laughter. "Do they even know you're there to ask?"

"Well..."

"And she did fix the damage she caused, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"And from what I've heard, the fact that she's making friends at all without brainwashing them is a huge, harmonious step forward for her."

Junior squirmed a bit, then looked up at Sunset. "And she did help with the whole changeling invasion thing."

Sunset nodded. "There you go."

"I still wish somepony would ask me how I feel about it."

"How about I go write Twilight and tell her how you feel?"

Junior hopped off the chair and beamed as she picked up the castle hat she'd left on Sunset's end table. "That'd be great! Thanks, Aunt Sunset!"

Sunset grimaced. "I'm... really not comfortable with the idea of being a castle's aunt."

Junior paused in front of the portal to Equestria's Astral Plane. "Cousin?"

"Cousin works."

Starlight blinked and shook her head. "I've offended your house?"

Twilight reread the latest missive from Sunset, then nodded. "Several times over, apparently."

"I... That doesn't even... What?"

Twilight shrugged her wings. "I mean, it is the offspring of the Tree of Harmony."

"Even by your standards, no, by Sunset Shimmer's standards, this is bizarre."

"I don't disagree, but I think you still owe somecastle an apology."

Starlight sighed. "Promise to never say 'somecastle' again, and it's a deal."

Author's Note

Some of the blame goes to MythrilMoth, and all of the blame for the story that helped engender this idea goes to me.

So, yeah, my fault. :derpytongue2:

Indigo Origins, by Void Knight

Author's Note

The following is emphatically noncanon. We have a plan for Indigo Zap.

And yeah, just the one. It's been a quiet week on the fiction thread. Still, I hope you like it.

Indigo Origins, by Void Knight

Over the past several months, the students at Canterlot High had gotten used to having strange people popping out of the Wondercolt statue with little or no warning. And so it was that when four individuals stepped out of the statue, quite a few of those passing by didn’t give them a second glance. But of those who did give them that second glance, virtually all went back for third and fourth glances. Even by Canterlot High standards, this was unusual.

Two of the four visitors were familiar to the student population of Canterlot. One was, apparently, Vice Principal Beleren from Ravnica High dressed in a very formal, if somewhat rumpled and ill-fitting suit and tie. The second was a supremely furious Indigo Zap, handcuffed, surrounded by a cylinder of glowing blue and white runes, and being manhandled by the third individual, a burly figure covered in full-body riot armor in white-trimmed blue. The fourth figure was a unicorn-aspect woman clad in a police uniform and what looked to be a bulletproof vest, only made of silver and with a cape the same rich blue as her eyes and gem.

Vice Principal Beleren’s headgem lit up, but he didn’t seem to be actually doing anything. There was a moment’s silence as the three aliens and the returnee regarded the locals. Vice Principal Beleren made several interesting faces, but before he could do or say anything, Sunset Shimmer materialized in a flash of light.

“Ok,” said Sunset. “Who are you, what are you doing here, how’d you get past customs, and why do you look like Vice Principal Beleren?”

“In reverse order,” replied the one who evidently wasn’t Vice Principal Beleren, “I have no idea why this world has a Jace Beleren as well, we didn’t know there were any customs but would be quite happy to go through properly, and we’re here to work out jurisdiction and legal protocols for trying her…” here a wave of one hand indicated Indigo, “… given that she’s technically a citizen of a foreign polity.”

“Wait, trying her?” Sunset looked confused. “Trying her for what?”

The woman in the silver vest spoke up, a flicker of light sparking in her gem. “Indigo Zap is currently charged with five hundred thirty-seven counts of criminal enthrallment, seventeen counts of vandalism and destruction of private property worth a total of seven thousand two hundred eleven zinos, two counts of destruction of public property worth three thousand one hundred forty-five zinos, seventeen counts of assault with a lethal weapon, nine counts of assaulting an officer of the law with a lethal weapon, two counts of assaulting an officer of the law with another officer of the law, two counts of unnecessary tossing of the citizenry, one count of public indecency, one count of…”

“Celestia's left wing, what happened?” blurted out Sunset, cutting off the woman’s recitation. “And you,” she said, leveling a finger at the man in the suit, “stop poking around in people’s heads. I can tell you’re doing it, even if you’re smart enough not to try it on me.”

The man looked embarrassed. “Sorry about that,” he said. “Most people don’t notice, and it’s the quickest way to find out what they do and don’t know so I can explain. As for your question, the short version is that Indigo planeswalked into the middle of a market, enthralled most everyone in sight, and when a few people resisted or blocked the effect, she got angry and started throwing lightning around. Started by blasting buildings, but moved on to going after people pretty quickly. Luckily, there were Azorius and Boros forces on station, so they were able to subdue her with no fatalities. And to belatedly offer some introductions, I’m Jace Beleren, Guildpact of Ravnica. Given that working out the legalities for Indigo’s trial involved extraplanar matters, it was determined that I was the logical person to handle it. This is Lavinia, my aide, and the one holding Indigo is Arrestor Calian.”

“Well,” said Sunset, “guess I had better get Lyra. She's the closest thing we have to an expert on multidimensional legal codes. Then we can go speak to… I guess the president, or maybe the Supreme Court? This is going to take a while.”

“Justice always does,” said Lavinia calmly.

Card of the Short

Indigo, Jealous God 1BR
Planeswalker — Indigo
+1: You may sacrifice a creature. If you do, put a number of loyalty counters on Indigo, Jealous God equal to that creature's toughness.
-2: Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.
-X: Indigo deals X damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures and/or players.
3

Plight of the Xenophile, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

"Hello, Dr. Anxiety." Twilight settled herself onto the couch and smiled at her therapist.

"Good afternoon, Twilight," said Deep Anxiety, Psy.D., much as she had before her metamorphosis. She might have been probing Twilight's psychological weaknesses before Chrysalis was deposed, but she was still a darn good therapist.

Besides, both knew that Ponyville needed all the mental health professionals it could get.

"I wanted to discuss the human world this week."

Dr. Anxiety took a notepad and quill in her magic "Very well."

"Specifically, certain..." Twilight bit her lip and fidgeted. "Certain romantic concerns."

"Certainly. Honestly, I'm surprised we don't discuss such matters more often. A mind that's normally a one-point-five on the Linseed intensity axis suddenly thrust in the body and brain of a glorified bonobo?" Dr. Anxiety shook her head. "That sort of thing would throw anypony off-balance. So, what brought this up?"

"This... may sound strange."

Deep smiled and looked over her glasses. "Twilight, I'm Ponyville's resident psychologist, I metabolize emotional energy, and I look like I sprang out of a melting box of crayons. Trust me, whatever it is, I've heard stranger."

"It's just... I don't understand why I never seem to feel this way about ponies."

"As I said, you just don't feel romantic and sexual attraction very strongly, and there's nothing wrong with that. You're the Princess of Friendship, after all."

"But even when I was a unicorn..." Twilight shook her head. "Well, when I was a unicorn, I either had my muzzle stuck in a book or was just trying to figure out how friendship worked. I definitely wasn't ready for anything more. But then Sunset took my crown, I went through the mirror, and..." She trailed off.

"You found yourself drowning in ape hormones," said Dr. Anxiety. "Take it from a shapeshifter, the mind is the plaything of the body. That first shift is always a doozy, especially such a dramatic one."

"I know, I know. We've been over this. And for so long, the sensations I felt while human seemed like something out of a dream on this side of the mirror. But now... Now I think I've actually found the one." Twilight sighed. "And she's taken. And in another universe."

"Ah." Dr. Anxiety refilled the quill and set it to scratching on the notepad once more. "You know, I suspected there might something between you and Sunset."

Twilight looked away. "Um, actually, not Sunset."

"Really? Well, I'm not entirely certain how well the qualities carry over between the two worlds, but I would think that you could at least try to court the lucky human's pony equivalent."

"That's not really an option," said Twilight, her growing blush making her change colors like the dawn sky.

Dr. Anxiety considered this. "One of the princesses?"

"Yes." Twilight brought a hoof to her chest. "Specifically this princess."

"... I see."

"She's just so brilliant!" Twilight cried, her eyes tearing up. "I finally see why Rarity kept saying I was pretty even back before I ascended! And she's so obviously happy with Sunset!"

Deep sighed and got out a box of tissues. She had a feeling they'd be seeing a lot of use.

(Masterweaver)

Sweetie stared at the three girls talking. "...Well. Huh."

"What?" Scootaloo looked between her and the girls. "Oh. Let me guess, crazy future vision you didn't expect?"

"Mmmyeah."

Apple Bloom shrugged. "You gotta expect that with them. I mean, Sunset's pretty high on the totem pole these days, the pony Twi's a princess, and all three are certified and certifiable geniuses. Anythin' they talk 'bout is probably—"

"No, it's not like that. It's..." Sweetie paused.

"It's what?" Scootaloo asked.

"Well, uh... if certain things happen in certain ways, then Sunset is going to have a very... interesting wedding."

"It's gonna be interestin' anyway," Apple Bloom pointed out.

"No, I mean... VERY interesting." Sweetie coughed. "Six rings interesting."

"Oh." Scootaloo considered those words. "OH! Hmm. Well. Gee. I... hmm."

"...I'm a mite conflicted," Apple Bloom admitted. "It's their life, and Ah guess it could work out—"

"Yeah, they're not at that stage yet," Sweetie Belle agreed. "Some work's going to have to be done, but I think the close interactions will help a lot—"

"It's more 'I'm personally uncomfortable with this' kind of conflict then 'it ain't gonna work' conflict."

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Your thing's the past, Bloom. Not saying it ain't useful, but I think this is more a collab between me and Sweetie."

"Right. Right. Ah'll just work on figurin' out those lost caves in Neighvada fer the moment."

"We don't have to talk about it while you're here," Sweetie Belle allowed.

"Nah, nah. It's happened before, it'll happen again. Best Ah get used to the idea."

Scootaloo shrugged. "Wouldn't work for me either, but those three? Yeah sure." She turned to Sweetie Belle. "So, what things need to happen, and when do you need them?"

Author's Note

All three Crusaders do have some degree of connection with each phase of time, but Apple Bloom sitting this one out is probably advisable. Otherwise, going by paracosmic sympathy, her brother might end up getting involved.

Counsel of Harmony, by Masterweaver

"Soooo..." Applejack drawled as they filed into the music room. "What's this about, Sunset?"

"I got a rather personal prayer but I need a local view before I act."

The others glanced between each other, before Twilight eventually sighed. "Alright, I'll be the one that says it: we need more detail."

"Okay." Sunset took a breath. "Oooookay. Um. Somebody moved away from their home and, after a few stumbles, made a new life and a new identity, they've been very successful, but somebody from their old life has shown up and is using... money and politics to block something they have been working their whole life toward, so they asked me for a shortcut."

"That doesn't explain why you need a local view," Rarity pointed out. "What's this shortcut that they requested?"

"They, uh... they asked me for a transition treatment."

Fluttershy blinked. "Oh. Ooooooh. FtM or MtF?"

"Male to female. It's not a question of whether I can do it—people here have already made the spells—or even whether I should help. It's more... should I directly transform her, or arrange for the guy blocking her to be arrested, or have a mysterious opportunity or what?"

"So you're going to help, but you're not sure how to help her." Pinkie nodded. "Yeah, I can relate to that. A lot of people at this school are just flat out weird."

The other girls stared at her.

"Excuse me," she said sternly, "but I think you'll find my weirdness is variable, not flat."

Rainbow held up a finger, paused, and lowered it. "I... can't actually argue with that. Anyway... From what I'm hearing, this girl worked herself out of a bad situation through hard work and tough choices, right?"

"Yeah, basically."

"So she's not exactly going to be happy being handed a win. I mean she'll appreciate it, sure, but it won't feel earned. On the other hand, this is a thing that's pretty personal to her, and she won't exactly like a 'You've got to handle this on your own' message cause it feels like God herself is saying she doesn't have her back."

"Wow. That's not very helpful."

"Actually, it is," Twilight mused. "You shouldn't give her a win, but you should give her a way to win."

Sunset tilted her head. "What?"

"In this specific instance, she's reaching out for support, not for a quick fix. At least, that's what I think is happening here. It would be more useful if I had an actual recording of the prayer in question, but I understand you keeping it private..."

"Tell me, darling," Rarity mused, "did this poor girl emphasize her want to be herself, or her desperation at being stopped?"

Sunset frowned, shutting her eyes. "...the latter."

"Then I think I'm in agreement with Twilight and Rainbow on this. She wants the crown, but she also wants to make sure it can't be stolen; I'd offer her a sword to slay the monster and gain the crown she's been working for, rather then a crown of your own making. Metaphorically speaking, of course."

"Yeah, encouragin' actual murder ain't actually something I'd suggest," Applejack deadpanned. "I'm... not sure I quite agree here. We're all assumin' she'll rise to tha occasion, and she might... or she might try her hardest and fail."

"Well, that's an easy fix," Pinkie chirped. "Let her go on whatever quest she need to defeat Mister mManie, and if she does actually hit an irrevocable failure you manifest as a literal deus ex machina, praise her for making it that far, and give her what she needs to finish it."

"That... actually could work," Sunset mused. "It's a little cliche, but—"

"HOLD UP!"

Everyone blinked, slowly turning to look at Fluttershy.

"This is... this is somebody's life we're talking about! Their core of being! It's not a play, it's not a story, it's... it's somebody, out there, in a desperate situation! For all we know this is somebody that we've actually met! We can't just... decide this, we can't just—"

"Fluttershy." Sunset took a breath and let it out. "I am taking this seriously. The thing is though... A lot of people ask me for help every day. I don't like it. And I don't do anything about the lower 'gee, I want it to be sunny' or 'I hope I can make it to work on time' kind of things. But... this is different. The kind of people I do help, they aren't just asking for my assistance. They're surrendering their fate to me, even if only for a time."

Fluttershy stared at her. "That.... that's insane."

"I know. And I get things like this every day." Sunset chuckled dryly. "Well, not involving transgenderism, but desperation? Outside forces? The last beacon of hope being the bacon horse? There are twelve billion sophants on earth alone, and even if I only got one out of a billion every week, that would still be twelve per week. I don't talk about it, I... I don't want to unload that on you all, but..."
She sighed. "The point is, this person, I have to give her a solution that fits her, specifically. And in this specific instance, a quest is a good idea. In another, I might just transform somebody and be done with it. Or transport them to another country. Or... do nothing, because anything I did would make the situation worse."

"...I didn't..." Fluttershy gulped. "I didn't realize. I mean, I knew you were different now, but..."

Sunset held her gaze for a moment. "What do you think I should do? In this instance, I mean."

The yellow girl steadied herself. "...Balance. She has been unbalanced, and she needs to find balance again. If you can grant her that... then I'll support you."

"...That is simultaneously incredibly helpful and frustratingly vague." Sunset sighed. "Okay. I think I know what to do now. Do you... want me to tell you all how it turns out?"

Rainbow shook her head. "Nah. Like Shy said, this is somebody real. She let you into her life for this; we're not going to be, uh, what's the word Rarity?"

"Voyeurs?"

"Yeah, void ears."

Twilight crossed her arms. "You're doing that deliberately."

"Doing what?"

"Mispronouncing a word in a humorous attempt to break the tension."

"Hmm," Pinkie mused. "Well, it is working. Not what I would have done, but to each their own."

Applejack chuckled. "Still. Point's been made, I think. Not quite comfortable with this, but I guess it might be the best, and no," she added when Sunset opened her mouth, "I ain't gonna ask how things went neither. I'm a random stranger to her, she deserves ta celebrate or commiserate with her friends."

Fluttershy sagged against a wall. "I... I'm just... I'm amazed this is my life now..."

Author's Note

This is far from the last time these seven will have a discussion along these lines.

O Bacon Horse, smile upon us, and with Your First-Blessed guide us to our most harmonious and auspicious fa— Ow!

Knock it off.

Fine, fine.

Counsel 2: Obstetric Boogaloo, by Masterweaver

"... So why did you need a local view?"

"Huh?"

"That thing you talked to us about in the music room," Twilight clarified. "Why'd you need a local view? I mean, it seemed pretty clean cut, all things considered..."

Sunset chuckled awkwardly. "Um... well... it was the transgenderism angle. That's not actually... common in Equestria."

Twilight blinked. "It's... not?"

"No. You remember how I said sex change spells were supposed to be impossible, back when this all began?"

"...Kind of, yeah."

"Well, it's because... equestrian magic is based on harmonic resonance. And ponies are incredibly magical, to the point it affects development prior to birth."

Twilight blinked. "I'm... not sure what you're saying."

"From a genetic standpoint, ponies are actually sexless."

"...what? How does—wait. Let me guess, there's some magical thing that happens in the womb."

"Yeah. Fetal ponies actually start out with traits from all the tribes—enhanced musculature, wings, a horn—but past a certain point maintaining all those structures is a health risk. So the developing soul of a pony infant sort of... reabsorbs the extra material. Pegasi actually have fewer ribs then other ponies, unicorns have a less extensive magivascular system, and because earth ponies got rid of their extra bits they don't need to burn the muscles for fuel."

Twilight tapped her chin. "Okay, I can... see how that would allow for the range of physiological distinctions in the pony species. And... the soul affects the physical sex of the pony?"

"Only in the late game," Sunset replied. "Like a month or two before birth. Still, for ponies the idea of being born in the 'wrong body' is kind of strange to consider, given that our bodies are literally affected by our souls in utero. It happens, but it's only been recognized recently, medically speaking, and our research into the subject is... kind of hampered by the assumption that it's a fetal aberration, not something that can develop in adulthood."

"And here some people think the pony world is perfect," Twilight deadpanned. "What do you mean by fetal aberration, anyway?"

"Basically, sometimes the developing soul interfaces differently with the magical systems and the biological systems. Scootaloo's counterpart, for instance, is a pegasus pony, buuuut she was born with both pegasus and earth pony magic--if she had been born just three decades earlier, the conflicting magics would have put a strain on her system and she would have been doomed to a slow, withering death." Sunset sighed. "Nowadays the magics can be artificially balanced, but it has some side effects—her hydrorepulsion aura is too weak to interact with uncondensed water vapor, so even though she has really strong wings she's incapable of outright flight."

"And that affects tribe, but not gender." Twilight tapped her chin. "So pony research into gender mechanics is something that hasn't been addressed because gender is secondary to tribe in most medical instances, and the societal concern of genders are not as emphasized as a result?"

"It's so much of a non-issue that nopony even realizes it could be an issue. Right up until somepony brings it up." Sunset shrugged. "Here, though, there are genetic differences between sexes, and gender culture is... an increasingly tangled mess of tradition, variation, and prejudice. I wasn't confident that I had the mental equipment to handle all the implications."

"Don't worry, Sunset. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it as you go." Twilight patted her shoulder. "You certainly reacted better then the first time I heard about transgender people."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Crystal Prep still has the... explosion scars." Twilight winced. "In retrospect, I should not have attempted to use chemistry to research sociology."

Author's Note

Broken off of the previous chapter since this one's mostly headcanon that I don't share or wish to incorporate into the setting, but still find fascinating.

Notice of Absence, by FoME

Cobalt Bolt was a simple man. He liked his beer cold, his movies high in explosions, and his daughter within the known universe.

He didn't realize just how much he appreciated that last one until the moment he found out it was no longer true. "So," he said slowly, barely seeing the girl in front of him, "you're saying that even you don't know where she is?"

Sunset Shimmer shook her head. "I really wish I had better news for you, sir. I can say for certain that Indigo was still alive when she broke the space barrier. I have the best people in this universe or any other looking for her."

Cobalt took a deep breath and ran a hand through his namesake hair. "I'll be honest, Miss Shimmer, there's a part of me that really wants to punch you right now. You or Abacus Cinch."

Sunset bit her lip. "I can't say I blame you. I assure you, the moment they get in touch with me, I'll tell you whatever I can."

"Thank you for that, at least."

Lyra Heartstrings sighed as she surveyed the bleak landscape through the visor of her mint-green hazardous condition suit. Normally, her magic could let her survive in just about any environment, but the magic-starved wasteland around her would've dissipated her usual wards in less than a minute, followed by the rest of her. Still, there was a chance that the missing person had landed on one of Starlight Glimmer's cast-off worldlines, and Lyra had drawn the short straw. Plus, her on-board thaumometer was picking up something, which shouldn't have been possible here.

Her steady gait brought her to a chunk of wind-eroded rock. Moving to the lee of the wind, she spotted the telltale facets of harmony crystal, faintly glimmering with residual magic. She sighed. "Just another echo of the Cutie Map."

Then Lyra's gaze turned to what was on top of the table. Scorched into the crystal was a very familiar cutie mark. One that definitely didn't belong to Indigo Zap.

"Oh. Wonderful. A demon Sunset's loose. Because I didn't have enough paperwork."

It should be noted that life in the Equestrian Time-Space Administration Bureau can have a jading effect on its operatives.

Second Look, by Masterweaver

Your name is Second Person. Your parents weren't exactly the most creative when it came to names—your older brother is named First Person, for crying out loud—and they aren't actually the most supportive either; for the longest time they expected you to turn out just like their other kid, who (let's be honest here) was a musclebound egotist of the highest caliber. It was always one of those 'We love you but you should be better' situations with them. And it only got worse when you were enrolled in Crystal Prep.
But even in the darkest of times, there can be a shining light. And for you, that light was Sour Sweet, a girl with her own issues, to be sure, but one who accepted you without question because you accepted her without question. Well, aside from how you should help during her schizophrenic episodes. That was an awkward but enlightening conversation, and you two grew closer because of it. You've even considered starting a long-term engagement with her; sure, it's unusual at your age, but you figured it might be worth it.

Oh, and then magic happened. Like, literally, you-have-a-gem-in-your-forehead kind of magic, and Sour Sweet can fly on a bow made of light. She seems to give you odd looks on occasion—well, your gem, anyway—but you figure that's just because she's not used to the world changing in a way that everyone can recognize. And she did kind of save your life during the Friendship Games.

Or... your mind, anyway. Principal Cinch really went crazy.

The point is, the world is different, but also kind of the same; people still have the various needs and wants they've always had, they just have new tools for working toward fulfilling them. And that can sometimes lead to odd situations.

Granted, your classes being rescheduled so you share them all with your girlfriend isn't exactly the result of magic. From what you understand, that's more the result of Lemon Zest exploiting Dean Cadance's latent shipping craze and Principal Cinch's newfound guilt complex as a favor to Sour. You are... sort of grateful to Lemon for that, but she's kind of too exuberant for you to be comfortable around her. Also she has this look whenever she sees you two. It's like she expects you to strip and start, uh, getting it on, just so she can watch.

Or maybe it's just you. Sour's never seen it.

Anyway, today began in a very interesting manner. Namely, Sour walked up to you and shoved her pills into your hand. "Don't give these to me unless I absolutely need them."

"Um," you said intelligently.

"I'm experimenting with a new treatment." She tapped the crystal hanging from her neck with a small grin. "Professor Laurel gave me this yesterday. It's supposed to help with my symptoms, and... it is."

"Oh," you said. "Really?"

"Yeah, I'm not feeling nearly as bitchy as I usually do. And there don't seem to be any side effects... yet." She shrugged. "This is kind of experimental though. So, just in case, you know my dosage, right?"

"Yep. And even if I didn't, it's right on the canister." You put it carefully in your coat pocket. "So... is this some sort of magic thing?"

"Well, duh." Sour Sweet rolled her eyes, but there was a faint smile on her lips. "If this works, it could revolutionize modern medicine! I think. Even if it doesn't, it's a data point. You know how it goes."

You nodded, not really understanding, but she seemed confident enough. And you were there in case anything went wrong. Being the gentleman that you are, you held out your arm. "Shall I escort you to class, fair maiden?"

She giggled, hooking her elbow into yours. "Oh, Second, you of all people should know that neither of those words applies to me."

Of course, that has been four and a half hours ago. And for the most part, Sour had seemed okay. But even as you wandered through the school with her, you noticed her eyes getting more... unfocused wouldn't be the right word. Twitchy? She could still see the world around her; she just also seemed to notice other things.

The bell rings, signalling the end of class, and you decide to step up to her quietly. "Sour?"

"Yeah, Second?"

"How's the... how's the crystal working?"

Sour Sweet sighs happily. "Like a dream."

You give her an awkward smile. "That sounds good. But um... are you sure you're okay?"

She gives you a wry smirk. "What, you think I'm becoming addicted to happiness?"

"...Maybe a little."

"No, it's not like that. I mean, I feel anger and sadness but it isn't... overwhelming like it usually is. The crystal is drawing me closer to genuine joy; when I have my swing, it's not as far arcing, in either direction."

You nod, as though you understand. "So, you're not becoming blinded by pure optimism?"

"Nope! It goes both ways. My lows are higher and my highs are lower."

"Oh. I guess that's good."

"It's better then my pills, that's for sure."

"Well, so long as you aren't having problems."

"Of course!" Sour chuckles, gesturing toward thin air. "I have to set a good example for Bitter Honey, don't I?"

You wince.

"...Sour." You take her hand gently. "You know where you are, right?"

"Of course! I'm at Crystal Prep."

"And you're a student here."

"Yes, obviously. Second, what are you going on about?"

You swallow. "And you're... too young to have a child."

Sour Sweet's eyes refocus slightly.

She sighs. "...It's only been her. Not the spiders, just... her. We were having fun."

"I know, Sour, but you told me—"

"I did." She glances at empty space, saddened. "...Can I keep her around for the rest of the day?"

You bite your lip, glancing from your pocket to the jewel around her neck. "...If she doesn't cause any problems."

She looks at you and smiles.

"And you have to take your pills tomorrow."

Her smile fades, slightly. "I... I guess that's fair..."

Author's Note

Crystal aspect psychoactive projection can have some more constructive uses than, say, bending a student body to your will.

Le Geek, C'est Chic, by Masterweaver

"IT'S BEEN TWO HUNDRED CHAPTERS!" Twilight shouted at the screen. "JUST FREAKING KISS ALREADY!"

After a moment, she blinked, looking around with a blush. "Aheh."

Rarity smiled faintly. "I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets caught up in romantic fiction."

"It's not romantic! It's fanfiction!"

"Is there a romance?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Is it a critical part of the core plot?"

"I mean, I guess it is, but—"

"Then it's romantic fiction," Rarity said with the finality of the infinitely certain.

"She'd know," Sunset pointed out with a grin.

Twilight rubbed the back of her head. "It's not just a romance," she protested faintly. "It's a Mass Distortion/Last Airtwister crossover with a lot of setting detail on how a quasimagical setting and the science fiction could fit together and—"

"Neeeeeerd," Rainbow Dash drawled.

"Hey! I'd like to think I'm a geek these days!"

"Oh yeah? What's the difference?"

"Nerds are experts in their fields because they are socially challenged and feel no need to go outside that paradigm. Geeks are experts in their fields because, well, they love those fields." Twilight smirked evilly. "In fact, you'd be a sports geek."

"Hey!"

"You know the rules to ten different sports and invented a new one," Sunset pointed out.

"...I mean, sure, but that's just cause I'm an athlete." Rainbow looked around at the disbelieving stares. "What? It's true!"

"Sports geek," Twilight singsonged.

"You know by that metric Rarity's a fashion geek," Pinkie pointed out. "And Fluttershy's an animal geek, and Maud's a rock geek, and I'm a party geek, and Applejack... uh. Hmm. I want to say farming geek, but she doesn't seem to geek out about farming. It's just life for her."

"Brickos."

Pinkie blinked, turning to Applejack. "Er... what?"

"Brickos," she repeated. "I know every set that's been sold in the past five years, bought a good half of them, and..." She coughed into her fist. "I maaaay kinda have a whole cellar tah mahself."

"Oh. Wow. Brickos." Pinkie paused. "...So what are your thoughts on GigaBloks?"

"They are a blight upon tha world!"

"She's tried to convince me to melt them all," Sunset deadpanned.

"I'm tellin' ya, Sunset, you'd be doin' everyone a favor!"

Twilight gave a small snort. "Do you know how crazy you sound right now?"

"About as crazy as tha chick who yelled at a screen cause her ship was takin' too long?"

The purple girl's blush returned with a vengeance. "I mean... two hundred chapters. It's ridiculous, right?"

"Well, if you want a kiss," Sunset purred, "why not just do it yourself?"

"....you mean write my own shipfic?"

Sunset frowned.

Twilight gave her a sly smirk. "Or did you mean this?" She grabbed her chin and dragged her in.

Sunset wordlessly confirmed that, yes, that was exactly what she meant.

Author's Note

Technically, they're BRICKO® construction blocks, but not even AJ is a big enough geek to call them that.

In any case, I feel like it's cheating, what with each little snippet getting its own chapter, but hey, two hundred snippets ain't that shabby. :pinkiehappy:

Reader Response Gap, by FoME

Sunset answered her doorbell with her brow already furrowed. Scrying helped a lot with unexpected guests, including ones bearing scowls and paper grocery bags. "Shining Armor? What are you doing here?"

With great solemnity, he said, "Darmok and Jalad."

"What?"

"Exactly. May I come in?"

Sunset hesitated for only a moment, still trying to parse the nonsense. "Sure."

"Thank you." Shining strode in, taking the sparse decor with a grim intensity Sunset hadn't seen since the last time Rarity had looked at plaid. "Right now, part of me wants to play the intimidating big brother, but the rest knows how that's not going to turn out well."

"Honestly, you're doing a pretty good job."

"You may not want to tell Dad that. Last time he mentioned buying a shotgun, I couldn't tell if he was joking."

"So!" Sunset forced a smile. "Other than implicit threats of buckshot in my face, what brings you to my humble abode?"

"There it is." Shining moved to Sunset's laptop, currently resting on her coffee table. "I may not be Cadence, but I can tell that you're not just Twilight's high school sweetheart. Unless one of you manages to really mess this up, you're going to be my sister-in-law, and that means that I need to make sure you can handle becoming part of our family."

"How do you mean?"

Shining set down the bag and began pulling things out of it. "Darmok and Jalad."

Sunset lingered behind him. "I still don't know what that means."

"Who shot first?"

"Between Darmok and Jalad?"

"Is it secret?" Shining whirled and grabbed Sunset by the shoulders. "Is it safe?"

"The fact that one of those people shot the other? Shining, what are you talking about?"

Shining gave a grim nod. "It's exactly as I feared."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

"Your friends have done their best, but you will be marrying into a family of nerds."

"I think Twilight would dispute your word choice there."

Shining rolled his eyes. "The point is that if you're going to have any chance of being accepted, you have some homework to do." He moved to the side, letting Sunset get a better view of the DVD cases now sitting next to her computer.

She levitated them and had them orbit her, letting her take in all of them. "Space Trek? The Force Wars? The Jewelry Master?"

"Trust me on this one, Sunset. My mother is never going to consider you a daughter if you aren't at least somewhat familiar with these series. The Tambelon 5 discs are still in the mail, but I figured I'd waited long enough to get you started."

"Uh, I guess I should thank you?"

Shining nodded. "Trust me, you will."

Author's Note

"Technically, you should read the books for Jewelry Master," added Shining, "but even I haven't. I can never get past Elderest Bombast."

How Bacon Horse Saved Yuletide, by Ultra-the-HedgeToaster

“I... I'm sorry.” Sunset Shimmer massaged her temples for third time in the past five subjective minutes. “It's just... I've had a really bad day. Been having. Still am having.” Sunset sighed. “I guess I was just hoping to spend this special day with my friends and finally get some rest... and then just saw someone threatening the continued existence of reality again, and just... reacted. I, uhm... sorry.”
The de-facto deity rubbed her arms awkwardly, unconsciously balling her hands into fists.

“Look, I appreciate what you're doing. Really, I do. It's wonderful! But this...” She gestured at the snowflakes hanging frozen in mid-air all around them. “This is endangering the fabric of space-time, and I think you'll agree total event collapse would be the worst present ever.”

The old man seemed crestfallen, and Sunset just couldn't help but wince at the sight. There was just something... fundamentally wrong about this man being sad. That, and Pinkie would never forgive her if she didn't fix this.

For now, she wasn't even gonna bring up the whole worldwide mind-reading thing to find out what the children wanted. It brought up the truly bizarre image of him as a male changeling Queen – wearing antlers for some reason – and that was just too weird.

“Look, uhm, Holly, tell you what; you take a break, and I'm gonna look into this right now. I'm sure there's some way you can deliver the right presents to all the children in the world that doesn't involve straining physics to the breaking point.”

~

Five minutes later—which meant nothing much in terms of subjective time—Sunset returned, only to find Old Hollyhock laughing merrily, and an excited pink-skinned girl sitting in his lap babbling a million words a minute.

Even with her reflexes, Sunset had only just enough time to take in the scene before a truly hyper Pinkie Pie jumped straight into her face.

“OhmygoshSunsetHe'srealHe'srealHe'srealHe'realHe'sreal!Ohmygoshohmysoghhsssossbhjbldfnn” And then Pinkie Pie fainted.
Sunset blinked. A quick spell confirmed Pinkie Pie was in perfect health, merely in shock. Sunset carefully deposited the unconscious girl on a nearby sofa.

“Okay, that's... wow. Uhm. So, that happened.”

~

“So, Holly, I think you might get away with it this year, if you take it slowly. That means only slowing down time by a factor of fifty thousand, nothing more. And I should come with you to make sure the friction doesn't cause the air to superheat and ignite the atmosphere. I haven't figured out a long term solution yet, but I'm sure we can—”

Sunset was cut off by a pink missile launching itself at her.

“Sunset Shimmer,” the now fully alert and indeed very conscious Pinkie Pie spoke in a tone so uncharacteristically level and firm, it left no room for any argument at her next statement of fact:

“I am coming with you.”

Author's Note

And now you know who was putting coal in Sunset's stocking.

Tourism-Floored, by SaintAbsol

Sunset... really didn't know what to think.

It was a nice change, strangely.

Being the closest thing to omniscient as was possible for a physically incarnate goddess, her mind was usually filled with thoughts related to everything from the axis angles of planets, the entropy rate of stars and galaxies, to the interactions between various atomic and subatomic particle that scientists were still debating the existence of. To have her mind rendered blank was a wonderfully refreshing experience that she wasn't aware she had missed until now.

However, as wonderful as it felt, a blank mind wasn't doing much to address the problem at hand.

"I... this is a new experience," she finally said. "Even for me, which is saying something."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry about this." The light-blue man adjusted the flight jacket he had found himself in since arriving here, then ran a hand through his dark-blue hair. Under the jacket, a white shirt could be seen, with the image of a stylized sun just barely visible on the breast pocket. A pair of black jeans rounded out the ensemble, a lightning bolt surrounded by two cloudy swirls stitched into it. "I... really shouldn't have tried to Planeswalk without someone more experienced around to assist me, especially when I was so close to other ponies."

"I just want to get back to my daughters," a pegasus aspect who looked like Ditzy said, picking at her torn clothing. Her out of sync eyes drifting down to her lower half, where a tattered green skirt only had one limb protruding from beneath it. "And any word on where my other leg got to? I'm going to need to get used to walking on two legs if we're staying here for a while."

"She'll find it," the man assured her, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Then, we'll get you back to your family." He glanced to another member of the group: a unicorn aspect who looked very similar to one Vinyl Scratch, albeit in clothing that would have been more at home in a steampunk convention. With a button up shirt and jacket that hugged her figure tightly, as well a miniskirt that seemed to have actual gears forming the eighth-note symbols on it. Her headgem glowed as she traced the glowing image of a treble clef in midair. "And we'll get you back to Octavia too."

Sunset sighed, rubbing at her temple. "Look, Mister..."

"Markov," he responded. "Soarin' Markov."

"Mister Markov; I'm sure that you didn't mean it, and really do want you all to get home... but I'm afraid I can't really do much to help you other than letting the proper people here know and have them direct you as best they can. I have enough things to worry about in this universe, trying to find ways between them isn't something I can focus on."

"It's alright," Soarin' replied. "I understand entirely. I just felt that, as the local deity, you should be informed of this."

"Yeah," Sunset absently nodded. "Be a lot less weird of most of you didn't look like people I knew."

Right on cue, and seemingly out of nowhere, a blue-skinned and rainbow-haired pegasus aspect alighted on the ground. Unlike the local Dash, though, this one wore what looked like a some sort of 'dress uniform', with a red jacket buttoned over a white shirt, and a pair of tight fitting pants. And, much to Sunset's concern, she carried an actual sword at her side; a short one, clearly meant for one hand, but a sword nonetheless. It was almost more disquieting than the leg she had brought with her.

"Here, I think I got it before anything started chewing on it." She handed the leg over to Ditzy, who proceeded to work on putting it back into her hip socket like it was the most normal thing in the world. Rainbow turned to glance back and forth between Sunset and Soarin'. "So, any idea what kind of time-table we're looking at here?"

Soarin' just shook his head. "Not yet, I'm afraid. But, we'll see how it plays out."

Sunset sighed, pulling her phone out and calling up Lyra's number. "I'm going to call up someone who can probably help you out, but I can't make any promises either. Just... try to not cause too much trouble while your here, okay? The universe has been battered enough."

Author's Note

I swear I had only indirect influence on Soarin's last name.

And yeah, this world is quickly becoming a major hub of parallel universe shenanigans. Good thing they have someone for that.

Caught Shipping, by SaintAbsol

Rarity politely chuckled as she walked alongside Rainbow Dash; the blue-skinned girl had just told something that was meant to be a joke, judging by how she had started laughing heartily after finishing. While Rarity didn't understand the joke, it was the ladylike thing to to humor others when in their company.

"Haha, Center Forward," Rainbow repeated to herself, taking a few breaths to calm herself down. A few people were staring at her, but she didn't pay them any mind, just glancing about at he shops as they headed through the downtown area. "So, that sale you mentioned..."

"Just up ahead," Rarity said, nodding toward a sporting goods store a few buildings down. While she was hardly on Rainbow's level of what Twilight continued to refer to as 'sports geekdom,' to say nothing of how utterly garish the outfits associated with it tended to be, but she still had an eye for sales. "It should be going on for another few days, and—" Rarity stopped as something moved at the corner of her eye, and she did a double take as her eyes widened.

Rainbow caught on a second later, looking back to the dumbstruck unicorn aspect. "Huh? Rarity, what's—" Rainbow was cut off as her head was telekinetically grabbed and turned to the side. "Hey, what are you—" Now it was her turn to stop and stare. "... AJ?!"

Applejack, standing at a little over a story tall, paused as she pulled a few pallets' worth of items out of the back of a trailer. "... Oh, howdy girls."

Rarity and Rainbow both shook their heads as they came back to their senses, with Dash speaking up first. "What are you doing here?"

Applejack sheepishly rubbed at the back of her head. "Well, remember back when I accidentally sat on that warehouse and was bein' sued fer it?"

"How could we forget?" Rarity grumbled. "That man was utterly detestable."

"Eeyup," AJ agreed, "but he also had a lot o' lawyers on his payroll. That there 'Gilded Arches' feller did his best, but he couldn't get me off the hook completely; gotta do some Community Service fer a few months." She turned back to the trailer, pulling out another pallet and carrying it over to the loading dock. "Anyway, have fun with whatever yer doin'. Ah gotta stay busy."

"Huh," Rainbow said, crossing her arms with a frown. "That sucks." She shook her head with a sigh, starting to walk away. "Anyway, we should... Rarity?" Rainbow glanced back, then raised one of her eyebrows as she found Rarity hadn't moved from her spot, but was, instead, watching the oversized farmer as she worked, a grin and a bit of a blush on her face as her eyelids lowered slightly. Slowly, a grin began to form on Rainbow's face as well, though this one was decidedly more devious.

Oh, she couldn't help but think, this is going to be fun~

Author's Note

What? I'm clearly referring to Applejack unloading cargo. What did you think I meant? :trollestia:

The Electromagnetic Face Covering, by ArtieStroke and Masterweaver

(ArtieStroke)

"Fire Guard!" Chronicler shouted, his biomechanical friend dumped unceremoniously to the floor. The red aura of fear visibly clung to his armor, only dissipating as Chronicler fell to his knees, hefting his friend's masked face into his arms.

"I was supposed to make the sacrifice," Chronicler said, his voice threatening tears. Fire Guard tried to laugh, but only managed a weak wheeze as his heart-light beat erratically.

"No, the Duty was mine," He managed to say, weakly grabbing the mask out of his satchel- that Spirit-damned masked that dragged him and his friend all across the island on a fool's quest- and now he was going to die.

But Fire Guard had one last thing to do, before he would let the Great Spirit cart him to the end of his Destiny.

"You know who you are, Chronicler," he said, weakly placing the mask in his friend's hands as is glowed to the touch.

"You were always.... different..."

As Fire Guard took his last breath, a wave of sorrow threatened to consume Chronicler. His friend... he wasn't even supposed to BE here! Chronicler only dragged him along because he was afraid of his Duty... and now he was gone.

Chronicler would not let his sacrifice be in vain.

He stood, turning to glare at the trio of the Shadow's sons as the Element Warriors tried to keep them at bay. They were struggling, Wild Fire's mask of shielding buckling under the sons' destructive powers.

With grim determination, Chronicler took the Mask of Light and placed it upon his face.

With a flash, the young Mechronical felt the power the mask contained flow inside him- changing him to suit his newfound Destiny.

Where once a mere villager stood, there was now a golden armored Elemental Warrior, shining brilliantly in the setting sun.

"I am Chronicler, the Warrior of Light!"

Applejack nodded, her eyes closed and friends gathered around her as they continued to watch the film.

"Gets me every time," she said, crying on the inside.

"I can't believe they made a movie out of a toy," Dash said, munching on a fistful of popcorn, "Seems like a total sellout thing to do."

Pinkie snorted back a giggle and ruffled Dash's hair. "Oh, ye of little faith, you know not what you say."

"I just can't get over how much Fire Guard sounds like my brother," Twilight said, as Sunset held her close.

"It is pretty uncanny," Sunset nodded.

"Please, everyone, pipe down during the dramatic moments," Rarity said. AJ nodded her wordless thanks as the teens continued their movie.

(Masterweaver)

"Well that was an interesting movie," Twilight mused. "It's a bit flawed on its own, but still decent. It feels like the mythos was watered down for younger audiences. I get the feeling a lot of this would make more sense if I followed the toyline?"

"Eeeyup."

"I liked the animals," Fluttershy mused. "I mean, I know I like all animals, but the way these were both machine and animal was interesting."

"That giant crab was... especially interesting," Rarity mused. "I'm not sure why, but I think I'd like one... in purple, though."

"And the animation quality was pretty impressive. Alright, I can see how—SWEET SCIENCE, PAUSE IT!!"

"Why?" Rainbow asked. "It's just the credits—"

"GO BACK GO BACK!"

Applejack blinked, rewinding. "Uh, what's got you in a knot, sugarcube?"

"It can't be. It just—Finemare's bongos, he did. He actually..." Twilight pulled out her phone, dialing rapidly.

Sunset glanced at the screen, blinked twice, and quirked an eyebrow. "Sokath, his eyes uncovered."

"Nerdspeak." Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Great."

"Hello? Hey BBBFF, question: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU VOICED A ROBOT MIDGET?!"

Author's Note

Here's your context:

And yes, that is Andrew Francis, Shining Armor's voice actor. I'm not saying he's held every role Mr. Francis has, but sharing others isn't outside the realm of possibility.

Lonely at the Top, by VoidKnight and FoME

(Void Knight)

The roof of Sunset’s warehouse had a spectacular view of the setting sun, and Twilight and Sunset were taking a rare opportunity to just cuddle up together and enjoy the view.

“You know what one of the worst things about being God is?” murmured Sunset in Twilight’s ear.

“How rarely we get to do this?” suggested Twilight, giving Sunset a squeeze.

“I was actually thinking of the fact that I don’t have anyone to trust in,” said Sunset. “Back before I came here, I had the Princess to look up to. No matter how scary things got, I knew that she was in charge, and so everything would turn out okay. Which, come to think of it, is probably part of why I went so… off my rocker… when I came over here. When you think that someone you trust that absolutely has betrayed you, it really upends your world. But the point is, now that’s me. I’m the one that everyone on the planet trusts to make sure that everything turns out right. But that means that if I make a mistake, there’s nobody who will fix it.” Sunset laughed bitterly. “The fate of the world in my hands, just like I wanted way back before the other Twilight smacked me down. They say to be careful what you wish for…”

(FoME)

"Sunset, you wound me." Both girls looked around for the source of the voice. It became clear when the setting sun opened its eyes. Mr. Discord hoisted himself out of it and, in an eye-watering twist of perspective not at all helped by doing it in front of the sun, placed himself a few feet in front of them. "Do you really think I would allow you to make some trivial error that would annihilate the universe?"

Sunset gave him a flat glare. "We're kind of having a moment here."

"Of course you are. Honestly, just being near you two makes my skin crawl these days." Mr. Discord pulled up a sleeve, revealing tiny mouths crying out "The harmony! The harmony!"

Both girls blanched. Purple magic tugged his sleeve back down. "Could you please never do that again, sir?" said Twilight.

Mr. Discord dipped his head in acknowledgement. "My apologies. Too much time around the sirens; Sonata finds that sort of thing amusing. And I meant no offense. It's an involuntary reaction to the warm fuzzies you two radiate." He ruffled Sunset's hair, making his hand smoke. "Rest assured, Sunset, you may not have anyone further up the totem pole, but you do still have someone else keeping an eye on the integrity of all things. I'll let you two get back to your evening together." He dropped out of view.

Sunset peeked over the edge. No sign of the man. "I... guess that was reassuring?"

"Honestly, I think his social skills have actually improved since the world changed."

"That's disturbing on several levels."

Author's Note

It is in the nature of Harmony to regulate itself. It even has a regulator for its regulator, who ironically does so by being inherently irregular.

Eclipse-Sworn Oath, by SaintAbsol

"Got a secret, can you keep it?" Sunshine Smiles sang, a serene smile on her face as her eyes became blacker than black. "Swear this one you'll save. Better lock it, in your pocket, taking this one to the grave~"

The unicorn aspect continued to walk around the fidgeting boy, that same smile on her face even as he started sweating. "If I show you, then I know you won't tell what I said. 'Cause two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead~" A barely heard melody faded away as Sunshine finished her song, still smiling brightly as her eyes returned to their normal lime-green. Smoothing her turquoise dress, she turned back to the boy and raised her eyebrow at him. "We have an understanding, then?"

"Y-yeah," he stuttered, gulping and sweating as his eyes darted around. Sunshine's smile did nothing to soothe him, especially when she leaned toward him. "I-I promise, I won't tell about this!"

"Good!" Sunshine replied, as chipper as ever, and held out a hand for him to shake. "Just one more thing to do~" She continued to smile, her hand waiting for the boy's.

Gulping audibly again, the boy gingerly took her hand, and almost cried out when their hands were both enveloped in darkness. It only lasted a moment though, and Sunshine was already pulling away by the time his mind had processed what had just happened.

"Remember, it's a secret~," she singsonged. "I'll know if you don't keep your promise~."

The boy nodded, taking a step back, then another, then he quickly turned and took off at a sprint, leaving the smiling girl in his wake.

Sunshine Smiles giggled as she turned away, happily skipping away herself, only to be stopped when she found another unicorn aspect in her way. "Oh! Hey sis~" Sunshine grabbed her older (by a few minutes) twin sister in a hug, while the blueish-grey girl just stood there. "What's up?"

"Was that really necessary?" Moonlight Raven asked, her voice a flat monotone that contrasted her sister's in much the same way everything about her did.

"I always hug my big sister~"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Moonlight looked past Sunshine, just barely able to see the boy still running away in fright. "You didn't have to do that to him."

"Oh, silly sis," Sunshine giggled, booping Moonlight on the nose. "Of course I did. I can't have Sunset showing up and ruining things for me." She... didn't stop smiling, but her eyes still seemed to narrow in a glare. "You remember your promise too, don't you?"

Moonlight simply raised an eyebrow. "I remember, Sunshine. I won't tell her what you're up to."

"Good!" Sunshine was already back to being traditionally happy, skipping along the sidewalk. "Lets go get some lunch, Sis. My treat!"

Moonlight watched her sister skip along for a moment, before fingering the copy of Sunset Shimmer's Icon in her pocket. I promised I wouldn't tell her what you were up to, Sunshine, she thought, but that's all I promised I wouldn't tell her.

Author's Note

For those unfamiliar with Exalted, breaking an oath sealed by an Eclipse Caste Solar Exalt results in the subtle retribution of the heavens at the worst possible time. Breaking one of Sunshine's is presumably a bit more... direct.

Making it Big, by SaintAbsol

Rarity groaned in frustration, slamming her magazine down on the lunch table. "Gods damn it!"

"I'd really rather not," Sunset said, taking a bite out of her meal.

Realizing that her outburst was a major faux pas when seated at the same table as God (even if you were one of her best friend), Rarity found herself blushing furiously. "I'm sorry, Sunset, I'm just a little frustrated at the moment."

"Over a magazine," Rainbow Dash questioned, an eyebrow raised. "Is this like Twilight and her nerdy—"

"Not nerd, geek!" Twilight interrupted.

"Whatever! That fanfic she spazzed out about and ended up making out with Sunset over?"

"Hardly," Rarity grumbled, glaring down at the pages before her, featuring several dresses and suits that had been designed by what the magazine described as 'up and coming talent'. "I've been trying to get my foot in the door of the fashion industry for years now and I thought I had a chance recently, when I almost got a chance to meet with Prima Donna herself." When this was meant with blank stares from all her friends, she sighed. "She's one of the largest private retailers of clothing in the country; she's my shot at the big time!" The fashionista slumped in her chair pushing the magazine away. "But, I can't compete with all these other retailers."

Fluttershy picked at the salad on her tray. "Um... why not?"

"I'm a small, privately owned boutique in a middling city," Rarity explained. "I simply don't have the funds to pull of some sort of publicity stunt. It's not enough to be good, you have to find some way to stand out. And short of asking Sunset to compromise her principles and put in a good word for me, I don't know how."

"Maybe we could hand out fliers," Pinkie said. "Ooh, or have a party to show them off, ooh, or—"

"It's a nice sentiment, dear, but it still wouldn't be enough. I've had plenty of local parties and, while it does help with my sales, it still isn't enough to get me noticed." Rarity sighed, resting her head on her arms despondently. "I need something... big."

Rainbow's fork paused halfway into her mouth, a mischievous smirk slowly spreading across it. "Something 'big', huh?" The rainbow-haired girl turned to look at the one person at their table that hadn't contributed anything to the conversation.

Applejack, pausing as she held an apple from her farm in her hand, looked at Rainbow, only for her eyes to widen in realization. "Oh no, no way. There is no way I—"

"I can't believe Ah got talked into this..."

"Oh, relax, Applejack, dear," Rarity said, making a few last minute alterations to the green dress her friend was wearing. "You look absolutely lovely."

A blush spread across the farmer's face, unnoticed by Rarity as she worked. "O-oh, thanks, I guess..."

"You're quite welcome," she replied, an equally unseen blush in place as she finished her work on the hem. "And thank you. As much as I'm loath to admit it, Rainbow Dash's plan might just be crazy enough to work. Or, at the very least, get them talking." She finished up, and took a breath to calm herself before standing up. "Now! I'm going to have a word with the camera crew; I want to make sure they capture your best side. You can start getting ready, just remember the tips I gave you."

Applejack sighed to herself as Rarity rushed away, climbing a ladder to a platform built of scaffolding. Really, if anyone else had asked her to do this, she would have refused like a broken record. But she just couldn't turn away Rarity when she turned on the social charms. "Damn it," she muttered under her breath, then touched the charm on her wrist.

The dress that Rarity had made to accent both her natural curves and toned physique scaled up with her as she grew, the colored mana infused as much into the fabric as it was in her. When she stood as tall as a nearby building, she turned to the platform and struck one of the modeling poses that Rarity had insisted she learn. "Okay, ready whenever you are."

One month later

Rarity practically squealed in delight as she looked at the same publication that had caused her so much frustration the previous month. It wasn't much, only a single image on a single page, but the image of Applejack, nearly one hundred feet tall and wearing one of her dress designs, was surely enough to get people talking at least.

The World Atlas Shrugged, by Paaaad and ArtieStroke

(Paaaad)

One evening, Sunset Shimmer appeared in Twilight's bedroom looking rather bedraggled, and promptly proceeded to flop down on the bed.

"Long day?"

"Apparently we've moved up from mythical figures to mythical locations."

"Wha— Oh. Oh my."

"It's still submerged, but it's actually there to find now. Pain in the neck easing it in, not to mention the water displacement."

"Well at least it's over now." Twilight paused, hand halfway to her girlfriend's shoulder, "Er, it is over, right?"

"For now, but I looked the planet over once I was done, and there are more magical patterns just like the one that preceded this one all over the place. Looks like the next one is going to be in the Irish Sea."

Twilight set her hand on Sunset's shoulder. "Well, it looks like we have some research to do... Tomorrow."

(ArtieStroke)

Later...

"So, if I believe REALLY HARD, then would you—"

"Rainbow Dash, for the LAST TIME I DO NOT WANT A FLOATING LOOKOUT, YOU ARE NOT A SUPER HAYAN, AND THIS IS NOT DRAGON PEARL X."

"Yeesh! Fine! Okay! Jeeze..."

Author's Note

Fortunately, such large entities need a lot of power and notoriety behind them to manifest. Kami's Lookout is definitely not on the list.

Add Cranberry Juice to Taste, by SaintAbsol

Author's Note

Here's a refresher on this particular bit of my personal headcanon that SaintAbsol applied. This may or may not be canon, but it isn't strictly invalidated by what's already in place.

Add Cranberry Juice to Taste, by SaintAbsol

"You're off your meds again, aren't you?"

Sour Sweet blinked, looking away from the empty playground she had been staring at as Sweeten Sour came to join her on the bench. Scowling at her sister, Sour defiantly turned away. "I'm fine, Sweeten."

"That's a 'Yes' then," Sweeten said with a quiet sigh. "You know Mom doesn't like you skipping."

Sour just scoffed at that. "Mom doesn't like a lot of things I do."

"It's also not healthy." That, Sour Sweet didn't have a counterargument to. "We both know how out of control your hallucinations can get, especially with magic involved."

"They're not out of control," she respond, clenching her fist. "I'm fine for the moment."

That just made Sweeten Sour sigh with a bit more force behind it, her posture sagging just a bit. "I know you like when Bitter Honey comes around, Sour, but you're treading dangerous waters when you do this."

Sour Sweet flinched, her eyes looking away from her imaginary daughter as she played about on the playground equipment. "I just... don't want her to go away for good."

"That might be a better outcome in the long run."

Sour Sweet rounded on her sister, their faces only inches apart; hers a mask of rage, while Sweeten Sour's was perfectly calm. "HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?!"

Not deterred in the slightest by Sour Sweet's outburst, Sweeten Sour calmly stood up from the bench, and cast her gaze outward to a swing that had just started to move on its own. "Because, Sour, I can see her too now."

Herding Rats, by Masterweaver

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

"Chitter-rach, get down from—!"

"Splip-ip-ip-ip!"

"Bitenaught, that is not a toy!"

"Ooo oo lookit lookit lookit!"

"Yes, Klikli, that is very nice looking, I'm sorry but I have to get some—OH ROOTS!"

Celestia leaned to the side as she entered the room, quirking an eyebrow as a tissue box went flying past her ear. "Having trouble?"

"You could say that," came the exasperated reply of the plum woman in the center of the room. "I don't know what's gotten into them, but—Slithert no, we do NOT bite tails!"

"But Sqeeekums started it!"

"I don't care who started it, Slithert, you don't bite people! Ever!" She threw up a hand, turning back to the principal. "I don't know..."

"Need some help?"

"Can you get them under control?"

Celestia smiled serenely, took a deep breath...

...and began to glow.

The chaos around the room slowly lessened, the various inhabitants staring in awe and slowly putting down whatever they had in their paws.

Celestia let her glow drop. "Now then. Everyone?"

"Yes, Miss Shineshineshine?"

"When I saved you from the mean scientist, I wanted you to have a nice happy life. And Miss Cheerilee here has volunteered to help you learn what you need to learn. Do you think you can be nice and try to do what she says?"

"But Miss Shineshineshine, Miss Words smells like grass! That's boring!"

Cheerilee balked. "This is about how I smell?!"

"Well, I'll make sure she smells more interesting later," Celestia promised. "For now, though, you should listen to her, okay?"

"Okay Miss Shineshineshine." The green rat nodded. "If you say so."

Cheerilee took a breath. "...Thanks, Celestia. I don't know if—"

"Uhp-uhp-uhp! You have a class to teach... Miss Words." With a little grin, Celestia walked out the door.

Author's Note

The thing about rescuing the creations of mad scientists is that you have to do something with them afterwards, and it's not like Skin Horse exists in this worldline.

Well, not yet, anyway.

A Conversation in Wavetongue, by Masterweaver

Author's Note

Note: The following is written in a constructed language. For a literal translation that demonstrates grammar and word construction, see here. For a practical translation to readable English, see here (which is directly after the previous link.)

A Conversation in Wavetongue, by Masterweaver

"Glii shiisiichiri. Riieiimm su."

Aria quirked a brow. "Oosh ke si re riie Shupliipireii?" she inquired.

"Bii eemm bli eepl eebl siichiiri wepere ke yiyishumee bii riie Shupliipireii eetl eebl zhvpefii," Adagio replied. "Mmriz bli zhmmreii zhsi wee."

Sonata perked up. "Shoopemmruii gliim wee bo Sirenn?"

"Zhshoo gliim wee..." Adagio took a breath. "Mmreii. Kepere si.... Oobl glimm kepere si. Oopl glimm. Glimm, mmv gliim riie blu... bu Glimpyshriivch."

Aria rolled her eyes. "Shoo be zhii. Leey si yi gliimpeglimm shush bo zhleeyiish si eekeekleepleepleepl shupliieeblri yi eetl tliiru. Eech ke wee bi leyki, Mmoopirei? Zhirr ke kv zhke si roiimm Sirennri?"

"Ke wee bu zhke wee, Reipirenn, ru ke wee...." The yellow girl sighed. "Re heesh bli ru siiriiizh si bo leysupeshumee."

Silence filled the room for a moment or two.

"Siiriiizh shumee bo Zhuplireiischrii?" Sonata's voice wavered. "Blu... Mmoopirei, we gliim gliim leey leysi--"

"Gliim gliim leey leyki. Ke kv bi shuro Reiipivzheerv, bi zhmmrei wii." Aria shuddered. "Mmreei bli, bii mmrei ki shoopereiri, iih Shupliipirei?"

"Be mmrei bli. Iib ke ki boo chooru bli--"

"Eech kooiish Sirennri?" Adagio interjected. "Eepl shi bi wopesiiriiiish si, mmreei bli. Shoomm ree mmrieeiish Kiirrpigli bo si bi mmreei mmrurii bo shoopereiri. Ke Sirennri gliim gliim bo kiizh? Ru kooshiish shi, gliim bo reei zhbii rie shi bo Sirennri? Klii ke si bi zhmmrei si?"

The other two shared a look.

"Iir..." Sonata fidgeted. "Re riie si eekeekleepleepleepl shupliieebl yi tliiru. Iig... hooshiish ki hoo si boo chooru si... mmrei si ooch koosh siichiipereiiri oozh siichiipehooshrmri bo koosh leyshi."

Aria took a breath. "Mmrei ki," she said slowly, "iip mmrie si shoomm bee siirii Kiirrpigli wee bo ki... ru mmrih kv zhgii mmriv zi boo riie kv, mmreei blv."

"Iiz mmrie si bee mmrie Glipikiizh zi," Sonata pointed out. "Iiz mmrie si bee mmrie Reiipivzheerv bee mmrie Glipikiizh zi."
Adagio clenched her fists. "Klo shoogli wee. Bee mmrie shi sirii wee shoo bi shooru si..."

The room fell silent once again.

Eventually, Adagio sighed. "Iir mmrei bli roiish mmriieiish si. Iib heesh blu, boo kooiish koorii... yi ke shesh. Heesh bli shoorr ree heesh si, glipetliiruri yr bo eebl. Roo sheeshiich su. Iih?"

"Iih." Aria nodded, glanced around, and steadied herself. "Be shuplii mmriie si, rmm sheesh si."

"Ru leyshumee ke shuploo, be ke keiich shuplii," Sonata murmured.

Not a Whimper, by FoME

Among Crystal Prep's many amenities was an Olympic-class pool, one which all students were welcome to use during the summer. Officially, it was to keep the swim team properly conditioned, but between summer vacation and the aftermath of the Friendship Games, the restrictions were greatly relaxed. So much so that a certain transferee was still permitted to bring a plus-one as she visited an old friend.

"Thanks for inviting us," said Twilight, lying on a towel along the pool's edge.

"Thanks for coming," Sugarcoat said from next to her. "Moondancer burns like newspaper."

Rainbow Dash emerged from the water, beaming. "I never thought I'd say this about Crystal Prep, but this place is awesome!" She went back down and pushed off the edge.

Twilight gave a contented sigh, feeling her eyes drift shut.

"Hey there, baby."

Her eyes snapped open and darted to the source of the unfamiliar voice, a yellow-skinned boy with frosted tips in his hair and an expression that was probably categorizable as "sultry." Twilight had never encountered sultriness before and given this, she didn't think she wanted to make it a major part of her life.

"If I could rearrange the alphabet," said the stranger, "I'd put 'U' and 'I' together."

Twilight boggled at him for a few moments, then turned to Sugarcoat. "This is flirting, right?" she whispered.

Sugarcoat rolled her eyes, "Yes, Twilight. This is flirting."

"What do I do now?"

"Tell him you're not interested."

"Right!" Twilight turned back. The boy still squatted in front of her, the look in his eyes either expectant or anxious. Or possibly something else; Twilight still didn't trust her ability to read faces one hundred percent. Still, she sat up and cleared her throat. "Firstly, I appreciate what you're going for, but in order to make the pun work, you rendered the sentence grammatically incorrect. It should be 'you and me together.'"

The boy blinked. "Uh..."

"Secondly, I'm already taken." Twilight began listing points on her fingers. "Thirdly, my significant other is a girl. Fourthly, that girl is Sunset Shimmer. Fifthly, she's right behind you."

The boy stiffened and turned around. Twilight wasn't sure if it was under his own power or not. He was an inch or two taller than Sunset, but she still loomed over him through force of personality and a little autolevitation. Her eyes were as pools of molten gold, much like the aura that enveloped her and sent her hair waving in an unfelt updraft. The bikini and the sodas in her telekinetic grasp did nothing to diminish her majesty. If anything—at least, in Twilight's admittedly biased opinion—they enhanced it.

Sunset considered the boy for a brief time, as dispassionately as a biologist pondering some novel but benign microbe. Finally, she said, "There is a good soul under that bluster, Feather Bangs. You would do well to show it to others. Others who aren't Twilight Sparkle."

Feather Bangs swallowed. "O-okay."

"I'm glad we have an understanding." Sunset approached her towel. Feather Bangs ran for the hills, or at least the entrance to the pool facility.

"You do know you have no reason to be jealous, right?" said Twilight.

"Great work tearing him apart, by the way," added Sugarcoat.

Sunset smiled, visibly no more than just another teenager and trying to ignore the slack-jawed looks pointed at her from around the pool. "I know. But there's something about that guy that just makes me want to punch him in the face."

Sugarcoat nodded. "Yeah, Feather Bangs does that to people."

"Oh, I see how it is." All three girls looked to the pool itself. Rainbow Dash scowled at them as she hauled herself out. "If I ask for something from Dragon Pearl X, I'm out of line, but if someone tries to make a move on Twilight, you get to go Super Hayan."

Sunset sighed. Sugarcoat smiled despite herself. Twilight nudged her girlfriend with an elbow. "You have to admit, she has a point."

Author's Note

I really don't hate Feather Bangs, but I imagined him trying to put the moves on this particular Twilight and events proceeded from there.

Ooh Miss Sparkle, by FoME [Suggestive Content]

Ooh Miss Sparkle

"Sunset, I am home now," smoldered Twilight Sparkle. "And I am looking so handsome and also my lab coat opened?"

"Ooh, Miss Sparkle, ooh," swooned Sunset. Twilight took her in her arms.

"Let's do it," Sunset husked.

"Yes." As Sunset fixed a hungry gaze on Twilight, the lavender-skinned erotic dynamo elaborated. "And I will leave my spectrometer on."

Meanwhile, in a twenty-mile radius of this event, sun icons vibrated, men turned straight, and anyone with even an ounce of psychic sensitivity cried out, "Miss Sparkle!"

It was amazing.

THE END

Lemon Zest beamed. "And that's how I got my first academic hearing!"

Sunny Flare put down the printout and immediately went for the bottle of hand sanitizer in her purse. "That's really not something you should be proud of."

"It was a civil protest. I was promised an introduction to Shimmerism, not the most boring bits of theology put together in one inconvenient place. Though I will admit that they had a point about the plagiarism." Lemon shrugged. "Who'd have thought one of the TAs read Hark! A Vagabond?"

"So, what happened?"

"I got put on probation for next semester. And that was after a grotesque misuse of Fair Use laws and calling in the subjects of my essay."

"You can't seriously call that an—" Sunny stopped as she processed all of what Lemon had said. "You had Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle read that thing?"

Lemon nodded. "Sunset kept looking at it, then giggling, then looking at it again. She didn't stop until she was rolling on the ground. I'm pretty sure she whinnied at one point." She smiled. "Truly, I am blessed."

"And what did Twilight think?"

"All she said was 'Commendably accurate.'"

Author's Note

A few years after when these stories usually focus, but the idea took hold of me and wouldn't let go.

Also, here's your context should you need it.

Divine Mysteries, by FoME

The concept of the divine choir was not unknown in Equestria. Angels were a recognized magical phenomenon; the pureharts roamed the outer edges of the atmosphere, drawing on rarified æther for sustenance and warding off the outer horrors that lurked between the stars. Sunset had even seen one of the cervine creatures once when it spoke with Celestia. By all rights, the luminous doe should've looked silly, twice as tall as the princess with a body barely thicker than one of Celestia's hooves. But there had been a beauty there that transcended physical appearance, an unimpeachable dignity.

A holiness.

The memory of the purehart was one of the reasons why Sunset knew she was no god, even if she'd grudgingly started using the term as self-referential shorthand.

Still, all of that failed to explain the pure light and ecstatic chorus emanating from Sunset's open dresser. She sighed, shut the drawer, and went to her computer. A few moments later, she was on the official Shimmerism forum, which in her mind made for a far more efficient way of communicating with her followers than prophetic dreams or magic coffee tables. A few keystrokes later and she sent a private message to the forum admins, who were also the leaders of most major sects of Shimmerism.

From: StillNotGod
Subject: I'm Not Mad, Just Disappointed

Okay, who's the wise guy who's been venerating my underwear drawer?

Don't Sit Under My Family Tree, by Masterweaver

"OH MY GOD LEMON!"

"What is it Rainbow?!"

"We're related!"

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, we share a great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother!"

"...."

"What?"

"You did an Internet search on 'most distant relationship a person can have,' didn't you?"

"I... yeah. Okay, yeah, this was a stupid prank."

"Look, Dash, rule of thumb: if you're not genetically fourth cousins or closer, you're not genetically related. So that's... great-great-great-grandmother or closer in ancestry. Beyond that things get muddy fast."

"I just... your family tree is kind of like an ongoing melodrama."

"I know. Believe it or not, I was dating a guy for a while and it ended up turning out we were half-siblings."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, apparently my dad divorced his mom before having the fling that made me. Good thing we never made it past second base, right?"

Author's Note

"Aren't you not-dating Sunny Flare?"

"Eh. This lemon zests both ways."

"Uh..."

"Yeah, if you don't get that joke, we're definitely not related."

Storm Warning, by SaintAbsol

Gilda, as she was wont to do, grumbled as she walked back to her apartment complex. Today had just been all around terrible; between work, her grandpa's half-senile ramblings, and all too real possibility that she was going to fail at least one of her classes this year, she had barely been keeping her temper in check since she woke up. Add to that the scars on her leg from her ill-advised attempt at shaving itching like mad, and she felt like she was on the verge of snapping.

Thunder rumbled overhead and she pulled up the hood of her pullover, grumbling even more. "Yeah, fuck you too," she muttered at no one in particular as the rain began to fall. The only reason she wasn't getting pissed off at this was she'd known it was likely to rain from the start of the day; she wasn't happy about it, but it just made her fume a bit more.

"I swear, can this get—" She stopped short was what she was about to say finally registered with her mind. Tempting fate wasn't smart at the best of times, and had just gotten worse with magic being a thing. That doesn't count! she thought desperately. There's no way that counts, I didn't even finish saying it!

"Hey there, songbird."

"...fuck." Gilda honestly growled as she turned to face the consequences of her ill-spoken line. "The hell do you want?"

"Nothing much," the creep was wearing a hoodie himself, pulled low over his face so she couldn't even see it in the poorly lit street. "You're from the Griffonstone complex, right?"

Gilda narrowed her eyes at him. He was larger than her, by a decent amount too; puberty had done the bastard more favors than it had done her. But that didn't mean she was going to be intimidated by him. "So what?"

The creep continued to come closer. "Thought I recognized you, songbird."

Gilda's eyes narrowed, the old nickname causing a bit more of her rage to flare up. Her hand twitched as she felt her own magic chomping at the bit to come out and just rake the bastard right across the face. Assault charges be damned, something about this bastard wasn't right. "Stop calling me that!" she snapped. "And who the hell are you?"

Instead of answering her, he just asked a question of his own. "How's the old geezer doing?"

Gilda felt her rage die and a chill spread through her at those words. "Wha—"

"Be so sad if that pharmacy messed up his prescription," he continued, hand going to his pocket as he talked. "I hear the wrong dosage can really be... murder on someone."

Gilda's eyes squeezed shut as her rage began to build once more, stronger than she could ever remember. Magic came to her as she called to it, but it felt different; had her eyes been open, the stranger would have seen them glowing red. Gilda let loose an inarticulate cry of fury, swinging her hand as the creep pulled his own out of his pocket, neither of them aware that the rain wasn't hitting them anymore. Thunder sounded overhead, and glowing bits of metal fell to the ground as he sprinted off through the downpour.

Meanwhile, Gilda looked at the flames that had replaced the magically generated claws she'd grown used to since the world had changed. "Huh." She tilted her burning hand around, the heat from the fire evaporating the rain before it even got close but doing no harm to her. "Well, that's something..."

Author's Note

Griffonstone's a sty no matter what world it's in. At least, it has been since Boreas Motors shuttered their doors back in the Seventies.

Retroactive Discontinuity, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

The seven friends were gathered in Sugarcube Corner, enjoying one last milkshake before the start of the school year. Pinkie Pie was regaling the others with a story. "So I says to Maple, I says—"

Sunset bolted upright, lunged forward, and grabbed Dash by the shoulders. Dash blinked. "Uh..."

"This is important, Rainbow."

Twilight considered the two, mere inches from one another. "Should I object to—" She cut herself off as Sunset's eyes began to glow golden. "Never mind."

"What," said Sunset Shimmer, "is your mother's name?"

"Um, duh? It's..." Dash trailed off.

"You feel it, don't you?"

Dash just nodded.

"Two answers. Both true, but they can't be at the same time."

"I... I can remember both of them." Dash's eyes darted about the room, focused on nothing. "They're both Mom, but they can't both be Mom. But..."

"You have to choose, Rainbow."

"But—"

"Your fate hinges on it."

Dash shut her eyes. Ruby light leaked out from between the lids. The woman who encouraged her most daring stunts warred with the one who committed more and more of the apartment to a record of Dash's life. Equally and impossibly true memories built into a splitting headache. Love threatened to tear her heart in half.

"FIREFLY!"

There was a deep clunk, more felt than heard, as if a loose piece of the cosmic machinery had slipped back into place. Dash fell bonelessly back onto the couch, panting for breath.

Sunset looked around the shop. Far more awe than she was comfortable looked back. She cleared her throat.

"Don't."

Sunset rolled her eyes and leaned close to Twilight, whispering, "I wasn't going to wipe anyone's mind."

"Just making sure." Twilight gave her peck on the cheek.

After a moment, once Sunset had settled down and Dash had caught her breath, Pinkie said, "So I says to Maple, I says—"

(Masterweaver)

Forged... and unforged. Woven and rewoven. The fractures shifted, moved... A cracked universe, slowly, beginning to heal itself.

Back, back, back. Here, here, two seconds of awe, the line moves. There, there, the ticket man sells one ticket, then another. In the time that was, they were next to each other. In the time that is, they are a row apart.

And the roar of the crowd does the rest.

Windy Whistles loves sports. She attends, and misses the sight of the attractive man sitting only a short distance away. And then...

She could fade.

She could.

But... the overseer has heart. The overseer rarely looks this far back; the cracks originated at a specific point, and do not tend to reverse to time before. She cannot act in this time, not directly, but she knows the importance of family, of all kinds.

Windy Whistles leaves the stadium, proud of her team. She bumps into a man, Rainbow Blaze, and while he is not instantly smitten—people don't work like that—the spark is there. And his brother, who might have claimed Windy in another time, sees this and decides to help them along.

The rest weaves itself, a suture for the tear in time.

Apple Bloom collapsed, the light fading from her skin as she landed in her seat again. Scootaloo gave a sigh of relief, looking around at the gathered crowd. "You see? She's totally fine. It's just... some magic thing."

"Is it contagious?"

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. "It's a unique quirk. You've seen the news, right? Some people got special magic and joined the Power Patriots." She gave Apple Bloom a gesture. "Her magic isn't superheroic, though, just... weird sometimes."

"She looked like... like some sort of angel!"

Scootaloo snorted. "Trust me, if you know the shit she got up to, you wouldn't be saying that. Not saying she's a horrible person, but she kinda has a few smudges on her record."

"We all do," Sweetie added. "Nothing illegal, just... bad."

"The point is, she's fine, you're all fine, move along." Scootaloo waved the crowd off. "Shoo! Shoo!"

Sweetie Belle nodded as they began to disperse, but a light groan caught her ear. She turned to Apple Bloom, gripping her shoulders tightly. "So, how are you?"

"...near exhausted. Didn't 'spec nothin' like that fer a few years."

"Like what, exactly? What the heck happened?"

Apple Bloom rolled her head up. The bags under her eyes were thick, but her smile was almost serene. "Kept the world from losin' what it had. Kept somebody from bein' nobody. Kept a family near together.... Sweetie Belle... Ah just rewove fate."

Author's Note

And you thought you had problems when your stories had to deal with new canon.

Versatility is Key, by ArtieStroke

"Nice set, girls!" Dash said, putting a palm on the strings of her guitar and cutting the final note short, "I think that's enough practice for today."

"I actually wanted to say," Rarity started. "I was fiddling with some of the settings on my keytar earlier in the week. Did you know this comes pre-programmed with other instruments?"

Dash rolled her eyes, "Well duh, it's a synthesizer. Can't really get the same crunch on a synth guitar, though."

Rarity raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

Dash nodded, "Yeah. I mean it's cool for when you wanna do the piano thing without lugging a whole piano with you, but guitar? Forget about it!"

Rarity nodded slightly, clicking one of the buttons, "Applejack, would you be a dear and hand me one of the amp cords?"

AJ looked from Rarity to the unsuspecting Rainbow Dash, and smiled as she passed her the cord.

Dash nearly tossed her guitar case as the sweetest, hard-rockingest guitar riffs exploded at her, bowling her over as Rarity's fingers flew across the keys like lightning. It lasted only a moment, but by the time she was done, Dash could only weep openly in awe.

"I believe the term here is, 'get wrecked, scrub'."

Author's Note

I think we can agree that the most ridiculous part of this snippet is anyone in the human world actually needing to plug into an amp. :raritywink:

Heavenly Bodies, by Masterweaver

Twilight fidgeted. "Okay. Um. I know this looks bad, but I didn't—I mean, they just gave it to me, and, and, um... you know, it's practical, and, uh, well."

Sunset's face, through sheer force of will, was utterly expressionless.

"I, uh... it's also.... it's a way to.... I mean, sometimes, we're both busy with our own things and..."

She gulped. "Don't tell Shining?"

Sunset Shimmer remained stoic. "Do you know," she said slowly, "what it is I want to know?"

Twilight cringed.

"I want to know. How the fuck. They figured out what my PJs look like."

"Reverse-tracing purchases from the mall," Twilight rattled out quickly. "The artist is really devoted."

"I see."

The room was silent for a moment or two.

"You know, I've actually worn all of these."

"Really?" Twilight squeaked.

"I mean I didn't think they'd figure out how to make a pin-up calendar out of this, I've seen saucier images online, but... wow, they take ordinary clothes and make me look like some sort of sex goddess."

"So... you're okay with this?"

Sunset looked up.

"... Honestly? At this point I'm more resigned. You finding me a sexpot is... I guess okay, since we're dating, and that's not all you think of me as—"

"Oh, no no no. Your brains are far more beautiful then your body and that's saying something. Coming from a genius. Not that your body isn't beautiful. Case in point. I'm going to shut up now."

"This stays between us, though."

"Oh yeah duh. We're good?"

"For now." Sunset smirked. "Although... if you want me to add to the calendar..."

Twilight blushed. "I... think they were looking into making a swimsuit edition..."

Author's Note

From the comments:

SaintAbsol

FanOfMostEverything

there's a reason this world's Sunset can assume her demon form at will, and it isn't to pose for fantasy pinup calendars.

Not even if Twilight asks?

Masterweaver

WELP you just inspired a snip.

I can't say for certain whether or not October features Sunset Satan, but she has assumed that form in several vlogs.

Home-Baked, by FoME

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no!"

Ditzy Doo stepped back into the hallway. As all of CHS had come to learn in the weeks since the transfer, a panicking Twilight Sparkle was a very dangerous thing. "Um, Twilight?"

Twilight paused mid-pace, whipping her head towards the door and grinning a grin that wasn't even remotely sane. "Ditzy! Thank you so, so, so much for coming here on such short notice. I know we don't know each other that well and I'm sorry for the incident with the electrodes but I have another favor to ask of you and I swear I'll do anything you want if you help me with this one."

"Okay then. First thing?"

"Yes?"

Ditzy swept an arm across the room. "Put everything down. Including me."

Twilight blinked, then registered in the sheer number of objects wreathed in fuchsia energy and the heat centered in her forehead. "Sorry! This happens sometimes when I'm nervous, and I'm very nervous right now, and feeling things with my telekinesis is kind of calming for me but that means I move them without thinking sometimes because I get fidgety and I also tend to babble when I'm nervous but you might have noticed that." She gave a nervous giggle as she set the last gyroscope back on her desk.

Ditzy nodded. Slowly. Making sudden movements seemed like a bad idea right now. "I did. Have you been taking breathing lessons from Pinkie Pie?"

"I'm pretty sure she's hiding a third lung in her hair. It may be her hair."

"Oh good, I'm not the only who thinks that. So, what's this favor?"

The question set Twilight to pacing again, throwing her arms about with every phrase. "I completely missed the opportunity to do something nice for Sunset on Mother's Day, and now Father's Day is coming up, and if I miss this I have to wait all the way until Yuletide and given the track record thus far I may end up forgetting and—"

"Twilight!"

"Yes?"

"Put me down. Again."

Twilight did so. "Sorry."

"Just wish I'd known not to wear a skirt today," Ditzy muttered. She took a deep breath and said, "I'll be happy to help."

"But I haven't even told you what I need you to do."

"I can put two and two together. If they're sufficiently large, I can even get five." Ditzy smiled as Twilight snorted at that. The blonde spread her wings and defied gravity for the third time, this time of her own volition. "Be back soon."

Sunset couldn't help but smile as Twilight guided her in front of the Wondercolt statue. "You do realize that covering my eyes is kind of silly. I could just form another body."

"Yes. And I'm very grateful that you're playing along. And when you see why, I think you will be too."

"Okay. I'll take your word for—" Sunset stopped and tensed. "Twilight, I just felt something move through the portal."

"Did you now?" said Twilight, looking over Sunset's shoulder, shaking her head, and hoping that the gesture would translate.

"Two somethings."

"Fascinating. And by a staggering coincidence, surprise!" Twilight pulled back her hands and stood to one side, the better to see Sunset's face.

It was certainly a sight to see. Brief confusion as her eyes skittered across the warm-hued older couple, followed by a wide-eyed gasp of realization and something that Twilight couldn't place as shock, delight, or shame. Possibly all of them. "Mom? Dad?"

"Princess Celestia conveyed your message, Sunny," said Desert Sunrise.

Sunset Satin took her daughter in her arms. "We're so proud!"

"I... I don't know what to say." Tears in her eyes, Sunset looked to Twilight. "Twilight, I don't know how you arranged this, but thank you."

Twilight wiped away a few lacrimal secretions of her own. "Happy to help. I'll let you show your parents the sights." She turned away, only to come face to face with a golden wall of force.

"Actually, while I have the opportunity..." Twilight turned around in time to see the Spirit of Harmony look uncannily uneasy. "Mom? Dad? This is Twilight Sparkle. The non-princess one. And at this point, I think it's safe to say that she's my girlfriend."

Author's Note

This is about a week after Unfriendly Competition, for those keeping track. Also, credit for the names goes to MythrilMoth.

And, of course, Happy Father's Day.

Personal Space Bubble, by FoME

Once Ditzy had gotten used to probability space, she'd found it relaxing most of the time. There was something deeply peaceful about floating amidst the hypercosmos. Just her, her thoughts, and myriad possibilities.

Today, though, she twisted herself in dimensions that had no name, face screwed up in concentration, eyes all but rolling back into her head and doing so in opposite directions.

"Is this really necessary?" said Sunset from atop Ditzy's home world-bubble, her many arms still repairing the damage she'd caused.

Ditzy straightened herself and turned towards home. "It's a matter of pride!" she shouted, her volume only partly because sound faded much faster in a realm with more dimensions for it to spread. (She made a point of not thinking about what she was breathing, lest it decide to stop letting her.) "I can't believe there was a whole subdimension lurking right under my nose this whole time!"

"I can use the entire outer skin of this cosmos as an enormous eye and I still missed the fae realm."

"Yeah, but you're not the one with cosmic bubbles on your hips!" After a moment, Ditzy added, "And that sounds a lot stranger when I say it out loud."

"The cu— er, icons were an unavoidable side effect."

"And they prove my point! This is iconic!"

Sunset nodded. "I understand. More or less."

Ditzy nodded, then resumed her contortions. If she could just find the right angle, surely she could spot the filamentary realm that, according to rumors in the ETSAB, was supposed to spread like cobwebs among the hyperspheres. It'd probably look something like the portal, which was easy to spot, a thin, merely three-dimensional line running between home and Equestria. She tried focusing on that, ignoring anything sufficiently big and bulgy that might—

And then she spotted it. Several experimental tilts of her head hit the optimal angle, revealing a meandering thread like something dangling off of a fraying sweater. "I have something. Going in."

Approaching the thread was much like entering any world-bubble, with a sense of everything expanding around Ditzy as she compressed herself into the necessary number of dimensions. Once inside, though, things got unusual. And pink. Very pink. Entanglingly pink.

Ditzy had to spread her wings to travel between timelines, and that implied some degree of motion when she entered one. That meant that she'd cruised straight into the masses of pink fibers within this realm and immediately found herself trapped in them, constricted to the point where she couldn't even fold herself back into probability space.

It was at that point that she noticed the giggling. And how it was getting closer.

Then, from everywhere and nowhere, a familiar voice said, "Yeah, it's been a real monkey on my back."

Some terrific force sent Ditzy rocketing upwards until she emerged, blinking in sudden sunlight. Several ponies gawked at her. She returned the favor as she looked around. She was still entangled from the shoulders down, but she could look down enough to see the curly mane from which she sprang. "Uh, Pinkie?"

"Hi there, human Ditzy! What brings you to Ponyville?"

"Curiosity and bad decisions."

A very familiar looking grey pegasus gave a solemn nod. "Story of our life."

Author's Note

Looking for the fae realm is rarely a good idea. Invading hammerspace is even less of one. But telling Ditzy Doo there's a worldline she can't enter is like telling pony Twilight Sparkle there's a spell she can't learn; she's going to do it or die trying, because that's who, what, and why she is.

Meeting of the Maligned, by SaintAbsol

"So, let's all be honest with each other." The man's companions both looked up from their drinks, one making sure the hat hiding all her hair and the sunglasses she wore despite being indoors were still in place. "None of us actually trust this guy. Or is that just me?"

"No, can't say I trust him either," the sunglasses-wearing girl responded. "I mean, he comes out of nowhere, knows a lot about us while we know nothing about him, promises us everything we've been wanting, and is very clearly not human." A boy with a tail, seemingly dexterous enough to hold his drink, walked by their table as she spoke. "Or, what passes for it these days."

"It's all too convenient," the third person agreed, nervously fiddling with some of her purple hair as she spoke. "But... do we really need to trust him?" When silence greeted her statement, she decided to press on. "I mean, he doesn't seem to like magic being in the world anymore than we do. And you know the saying, 'The enemy of my enemy—'"

"Is my enemy's enemy," the man interrupted, taking a drink from his thermos. "That's all we should think of him as; he's not our friend anymore than Su..." He paused, looking at the girl with the sunglasses. "Anymore than she is," he finally finished. "I doubt we're anything more than a convenient tool for him to manipulate."

"You're a very pessimistic person, Swirl, you know that?"

The man shrugged. "Life has given me quite a few reasons to be pessimistic," he countered. "For all I know, he's watching us discuss this and is making plans to stab us in the back, or use us as some sort of sacrifice. He knows he has the power in this little arrangement, and power's a hell of a drug."

Neither of his companions could really refute his claim, not that either of them tried very hard to think of a potential counterargument to it.

The purple-haired girl eventually broke the silence. "Still... does it change the situation?"

The man shrugged his shoulders. "Not really, I just wanted to make sure we were all aware of it. So we can plan accordingly."

The sunglasses-wearer raised an eyebrow, a hint of red and yellow poking out from under her hat. "Plan?"

"If we know we're pawns of something with similar goals, we need to plan to make him a means to an end."

The sunglasses-wearer started a bit, then glanced around as if the being they were talking about would suddenly appear. "That's a very dangerous plan," she warned.

"And working for him isn't?" the other girl argued. "We're already doing something that could end very badly for us if something goes wrong, just on the basis that it's the lesser of two evils. Writing something off because it's too much of a risk isn't really an option right now."

"It's a no-win situation otherwise," the man said. "We either blindly work for something that clearly has an agenda, or we give up everything and accept the problems her twisting the world has caused. At least this way, there's a chance for a happy ending."

"Not sure everyone else will see it like that," the sunglasses wearer muttered, "but if it'll mean I can have my life back, I'm game."

"To a means to an end," the man softly toasted, bringing his thermos together with their glasses. "Here's hoping we survive what's coming."

Author's Note

The problem with iconoclasts is that they hold nothing sacred.

Meeting of the Malignant, by Masterweaver

Author's Note

If you're reading this as part of the fresh batch, you may want to refresh yourself on the previous short.

Meeting of the Malignant, by Masterweaver

"...I know you can hear them."

He smiled dryly. "Ah, and so can you."

"They are plotting against you."

"And you are not... fey?"

Blue fingers, for an instant, gripped their glass tighter.

"Interesting to note," he mused, "they were watched—until recently—by the balance of the remaker."

"The chaos lord of this realm?"

"That is he."

The blue woman took a slow sip of her drink. "And now you hide them. Save from me."

"You can hide."

"I can. And yet, I can also reveal while remaining hidden."

"Let us barter, then." The figure flashed his toothy grin. "I need... seven. They are three. You could be one."

"You offer nothing I do not have."

"Do I not?" With a flick of his wrist, he produced a gem.

She took a sharp breath. "You know what that is; they may well be linked!"

"But even if they are, a link must be used. She thinks they are safe, and, to be fair..." The gem snapped away. "I have yet to gather them."

"...You are not among the ones you number."

"No."

"I do not believe my goals coincide with theirs."

"For the moment, they do not. But to seduce them to your sway... is that not what you live for?"

She glanced at the table. "You play a dangerous game, mysterious one. What lies behind your mask?"

"An excellent question." He tilted his head. "Ah. The time is coming swift for us to move. Will you join us?"

"...I will meet you at the shadowed lake of the west, when the first snow there falls. My decision will be held before then."

"Of course. Fare you well, whether we unite or not." He stood, placing coinage on the bar, and strode over to the trio.

She considered them carefully for a few moments. Then, when nobody was looking, she vanished from sight.

At the Gates of Production Hell, by FoME

There was no scream. Her despair was too great to be voiced by something as meager as her lungs. It would take the entire school choir to properly express the ice that gripped her heart, the cold pit in her stomach.

She faintly registered a noise to her left. Then hands grabbed her by the shoulders, spun her chair, and brought her face to face with a frowning Sunset Shimmer. "Rainbow Dash! Can you hear me?"

Dash swallowed and slowly nodded. "Y-yeah."

"What happened? I was going to check on Camp Everfree, but then the bottom fell out of my stomach and I knew something terrible had—"

Sunset cut herself off as she tried to process what was happening. Rainbow Dash was not the huggiest of her friends. Indeed, Dash might well have been the least huggy. Not the least physical, but her demonstrations were more often nudges, punches, and the occasional noogie.

She did not, in Sunset's experience, cling to a friend like a shipwreck survivor to a piece of driftwood. And yet that was precisely what was happening right now. Sunset did her best to ignore the moisture she felt on the collar of her blouse. "Rainbow?"

"What's wrong?" Both girls turned to see Fluttershy hovering in front of Dash's bedroom window, managing to speak loud enough to be heard through the glass. "I... I felt something."

Dash's phone began emitting wicked guitar licks as it alerted everyone to multiple incoming calls.

Sunset connected everyone and switched it to speaker. Her other friends' anxious voices cried out. "Fluttershy and I are here with her," she said. "She just seems shaken by... something." Sunset turned to the girl of the hour. "Well, you have our attention, Rainbow. What's up?"

"It's... I can't even say it." Dash screwed her eyes shut and pointed at her computer monitor.

Sunset peered at the article onscreen. "Continual setbacks imperil film. Magnifico resolves scheduling conflict, but expresses concerns. Yearling unavailable for comment." She looked back, resisting the urge to facepalm. "This is all because the Daring Do movie almost got cancelled?"

"Almost is too close for comfort!" Dash cried. She went to her knees, hands clasped before her. "Please, Sunset, you gotta fix this!"

"Rainbow Dash, you know I love you like a sister," Rarity said from the phone, "but could you be more overdramatic?"

There was a moment of silence. "Right." Sunset cleared her throat and pulled Dash back to her feet. "Dash, I know you really like this book series, but I don't 'gotta' do anything about this. We can't just go poking our noses into other people's business just because we're not happy about it."

"Wait," said Twilight, "the Daring Do movie? As in the one that's been experiencing inexplicable sabotage for months? The one that has Canter Zoom directing?"

"Are there any others?" Some of the light returned to Dash's eyes. "Oh my gosh, imagine if there were others!."

"Sunny? We're going."

Sunset wrinkled her nose. "But—"

"They're probably desperate enough to welcome some debatably divine intervention. Besides, if this is how Rainbow Dash reacts to it almost getting cancelled, I don't think any of us want to know what it'll feel like if it actually does." Several other affirmations met Twilight's point.

Sunset raised an eyebrow. She said nothing, but thought very pointedly. I've seen your bookshelves at home, Sparkle.

The answer came quickly. Everything I said is true independent of any personal interest I may have in the project.

You'd better not squee.

Don't ask me to make promises you know I can't keep, dear.

Sunset sighed. "Okay, fine. I guess we're going to Applewood."

Author's Note

The Superconsciousness of Harmony is a rudimentary thing. Only the most intense feelings can carry across it.

For now.

A Shot of Gin on a Cold Night, by Masterweaver

"Stupid Wondercolts. Stupid uncle. Stupid horse-girl-deity!"

Juniper Montage grumbled as she stormed through the mall, the screens around her showing the same music video over, and over, and over. Everywhere she went there were people worshiping it—sometimes literally—as though it was some master work of art.

It was a song with dancing girls. That was all it was. Why couldn't anyone see that?

With a loud sigh, she let her head beat against a wall. "It's been two months. Why are people still so enraptured with this nonsense?!"

"The power of glamour cannot be underestimated."

She whirled, her hands curling into fists on instinct. "Hey, I took self defense and I'm an earth aspect, I don't think--"

"I do not wish to fight you," the woman said, waving her hand. "In fact, I believe I can assist... or rather, point you at assistance."

Juniper frowned. "What do you mean, exactly?"

"Not here. Too many ears." She tilted her head, indicating a nearby shop. "Go to the shirts. I will be there in ten minutes."

The woman walked off, leaving Juniper confused. She glanced at the store—another Cool Topic branch—and after a moment gave a frustrated sigh. "It's not like I have anything better to do..."

The shirts, at least, were interesting to look at. Some were silly nonsense... not too few had Sunset Shimmer and a fun little quote. She had to smile at the one where she was being pelted by oranges. 'Sometimes I don't know why I bother' indeed. A few other customers and workers moved through the dense collection of pop culture wares.

"There is a man—"

She jumped, dropping the Doctor shirt she had been examining. "What? Oh. You." With a flustered blush she gathered up the garment and stuffed it hastily back on the shelf. "Do you just like sneaking up on people?"

"It keeps me in form," the woman replied, a small smile on her face. "Do you wish assistance or not?"

"....I might as well listen. Go on."

"There is a man, gathering.... uniquely minded individuals. I do not know his goals, but I do know what he has promised, and what he has promised would be a great boon to those who oppose... her." The woman nodded at the shirts. "I've no doubt his group will seek you out, once they hear your story."

Juniper frowned. "I'm not looking for vengeance on Sunset Shimmer. I'm not stupid."

"No. You are not. They, however... are. Or rather, obsessed to a point where they do not realize what they are attempting."

"So... what? You want me to tell them not to be?"

"I feel you should join them. Pretend to loathe the godling and her impact as they do. And watch their benefactor closely."

Juniper looked at the shirts. "You want me to be your spy."

"The man knows of me, and that I know much. Were I to question him directly, I do not doubt he would attempt to chain me. You, on the other hand, are to him merely another acquisition in the waiting, and nothing is so easily excused as the curiosity of the young."

"Hmmph." Juniper crossed her arms. "And how will I know what to ask? How do you expect me to keep in contact with you?"

The woman produced a smartphone, her eyebrow quirked.

"Right, duh. Of course." Juniper face-palmed. "So if I agree to this... what is in it for me?"

"The man will grant you power; power he cannot control or deny, once granted, though only when he has seven under his sway. In spying for me you will learn of him, and what he knows of her and her friends. And the three he already has... one is remarkably unremarkable, one is cunning and capable, and one is an interesting reflection. They all plot against him already; you would need only befriend them, and you could bend them to your will."

"That's very cryptic."

"I cannot afford to tell you more. Not unless you agree."

"Right, plausible deniability. Fine." Juniper pulled her own phone out. "What's your contact info?"

"I'd rather yours."

"I'm the one that's going to be risking my life joining a bunch of crazies!"

"Hmm. Very well. 31732 719475 is my number. Texts only."

"Yeah, sure." Juniper Montage punched the number in. "I'll keep in contact with you. Once a week, if I can. And... crap, I'm actually going to do this, aren't I?"

"He has them running in circles while he waits for what he wants. Prepare for a long journey... and take care not to be noticed." The woman walked away, a mirror in her hand. "There is more at play here then what should be."

Author's Note

Ask your doctor today if Judaset is right for you.

May the Hours Come Swiftly, by SaintAbsol

He ran.

He couldn't tell where he was, or where he was running to, all that mattered was running from what was behind him. His breath came in desperate gasps, his body screamed at him in agony, but still he ran. He could feel it getting closer, but he dare not turn back and look, lest he trip and fall and be as good as dead. Other sounds reached his ears now: screams of terror, of agony, of defiance, screams that were silenced mere moments after they had started.

Still, he ran.

Suddenly, the ground dropped out beneath him, and he tumbled through blackness and nothing. He could hear himself screaming in terror, not knowing how long he fell through that void, before the very presence he had been fleeing surrounded him. A needle pierced his head, and he let loose a tortured howl, foreign thoughts invading his mind with all the gentleness of a branding iron.

"I had hoped for more from you, Jace. But I expected as much."

Jace Beleren, Vice Principal of Ravnica High, awoke with a scream. His nightshirt and bed were soaked with his sweat, and his heart hammered in his chest as he fretfully glanced around the darkened corners of his bedroom. It took his mind several moments before it managed to remind himself that he was home, alone, and safe from his nightmares.

If only he could get himself to believe the last part.

With a sigh, Jace threw off the covers and headed toward his kitchen. He ould tell he wasn't going to be getting any more sleep tonight, might as well make some coffee before applying himself to one of his many tasks. He did still have two pentachromatic mana users to locate, after all.

Author's Note

Nicol Bolas hits you so hard, your parallel universe counterparts feel it. Especially the ones who are working for dragons.

Those Left Behind, by ArtieStroke

The other Sunset almost jumped as she felt the burner phone in her pocket buzz. Which was weird, because the only two people who would have any reason to call here were in this... bar? Restaurant? It felt a little too seedy to just be a restaurant (she shuddered inwardly at actually describing a place as "seedy.")

Frowning, she flipped the phone open, stepping away from their table, "Hello?"

"Sunset? Oh, thank Harmony I finally got it right!"

Sunset's eyes widened, and she glanced at the table where her comrades were looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"I-I'll be just a second."

Quickly, but hopefully not too quick as to draw attention, Sunset went for the exit and stepped outside, the cool air of the night welcoming and fresh compared to the stale air inside. Turning a corner, she hissed into the receiver, "Sunburst, how did you get this number?!"

Her brother's voice came from the other side. "I've been trying to find you ever since that other Sunset changed the whole world! I've been worried sick! I know you like to be independent, but I could only imagine what kind of trouble's been going on for you since you, well... basically resemble the physical manifestation of a god-like entity."

"Yeah, you could say that," Sunset grumbled.

"I tried reaching you at work, but your boss said you quit. Your apartment's empty. What happened?"

"Sunburst, this REALLY isn't any of your concern. I'm fine! More than fine! I'm great!" She lied.

"Sunset..."

"Look," Sunset said, "I'm kind of in the middle of something. Doing things with important people. Just forget about whatever dumb worries you have, okay? Everything'll blow over soon."

"So you admit there's trouble that needs blowing over?"

Sunset rolled her eyes, and then growled when she realized that even with the sometimes vaguely supernatural senses twins share, Sunburst wouldn't see her frustration, "Just back off, alright?"

"O-okay! Okay. Just... and I know you're gonna get angry, but don't do anything rash, okay?"

"Good BYE, Sunburst."

And with a flip, her brother was a problem no more. Great. Now she'd need to get a new number.

Author's Note

Some ties are more easily severed than others.

A Proper Skulding, by FoME

Cliques were still very much a part of Canterlot High's social fabric. Some of that was inertia, but some genuine friendships had formed even during Sunset's reign of terror. Thus did three sophomore fashionistas sit at the lunch table they'd shared through a year of magical mayhem, and one nearly choked as a girl walked by.

That ivory skin. Those elegant curls. That... admittedly prosaic ensemble, but on her it looked good.

"Who is that?" said a stunned Starstreak.

Inky Rose looked behind her. Lily Lace just looked at Starstreak, gobsmacked. "Oh-em-tree. I thought you were lit'rally the gayest thing since—"

He groaned and held up a hand. "Do yourself a favor and don't finish that sentence. Besides, my preferences are not important right now. What is is that girl. I need her as a model."

"Don't," said Inky. Her drooping gaze spoke of ill portents, of inevitable death and darkness on the horizon.

She always looked like that, so Starstreak just rolled his eyes. "And why shouldn't I? The future belongs to those who dare to seize it."

"Oh. Does she, now?" said a voice from behind him. Lily and Inky both stared at the source, mouths open in silent gasps.

Starstreak turned. "I don't know about anthropomorphizing it, but— Ah. Miss Rarity." Anyone who operated and partially owned a boutique before she was even out of her junior year merited the Miss. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Starstreak, wasn't it?" Rarity said coolly. "I admit, I haven't been spending as much time among the other fashionistas of late, but I do recall you having a pleasantly novel style."

"Thank you, miss."

Rarity looked off into the distance. "It would be such a shame if something were to happen to you."

Starstreak blinked. "I... beg your pardon?"

"Yes. You do." Rarity didn't scowl. She just stared dispassionately at Starstreak like she was debating whether to crush a bug or let it go about its business. "And I have yet to decide whether I will grant it."

"That was Sweetie Belle," said Inky.

Rarity nodded. "Indeed. My darling baby sister. Now, I won't be so overprotective as to forbid her any male attention whatsoever, but I will be watching any attentive boys very closely. I trust we have an understanding." Her headgem began to glow with light that flickered like amethyst flames.

Starstreak swallowed, doing little for the lump in his throat. "Y-yes, Miss Rarity."

It was like flipping a switch. In a single moment, the fashion queen of the school was gone and a smiling girl only a few months their elder took her place. "Good! Have a lovely day, all. Ta." All three watched her walk to join her friends at their lunch table.

"Sweetie's gonna be single until she's lit'rally fifty years old."

"Shut up, Lily," the others said in sync.

Author's Note

When you're obsessed with the future, you're going to notice when it walks by you in the cafeteria.

Rarity does not yet know about Sweetie's infatuation with the man Button Mash will one day become. This is a very good thing for Button and Sweetie both; it's a terrible thing to have a crush on a paradox.

Kitchen of the Future, by Masterweaver

"...Sweetie?"

"Yeah, Bloom?"

"You can see the future."

"Yes."

"And I'm not exactly sure how that works, but I'm assumin' it's always on at a low level?"

"Two, three seconds, everything is clear. Further then that takes a bit of strain."

"Right."

"...What?"

"I'm... look, I'm not going to say you should abuse yer gifts for personal profit, but, um..."

"What? What is it?"

"Sweetie, bein' honest, yah managed ta caramelize a tomato. I can give ya all the remedial cookin' lessons I want, but I'm thinkin' maybe ya should use your future sight in the kitchen a touch more often."

"...Or I could just use a microwave—"

"I AM NOT LETTIN' YA CAUSE ANOTHER NUKE SCARE!"

Author's Note

Magic can't solve everything.

Transubstantia-shunned, by Void Knight, FoME, and ArtieStroke

(Void Knight)

FWOOMP!

“Sunset? Wha—”

Before Twilight could even finish her sentence, Sunset had wrapped her up in a hug, squeezing as if Twilight were the only thing keeping her from getting dragged off to Tartarus while babbling in in the sleepy girl’s ear. “OhCelestiaOhCelestiaOhCelestia...”

“Can’t. Breathe.” gasped Twilight.

Sunset’s grip slackened a bit, but she still didn’t let go of Twilight for another minute or two. Finally, the two girls released each other and Sunset took a seat on the bed. Twilight gave her girlfriend a long look. Sunset’s eyes looked haunted, her body shook slightly, and her hair kept dissolving into a nimbus of comfortably warm flames about her head before recondensing into hair.

“You want to talk about it?” Twilight asked, trying to sound as receptive as she could.

Sunset took a deep breath, and her hair stopped flickering. “I thought I knew what it meant to have creepy worshippers. The prayers, the pendants, all that, I thought that was creepy. That wasn’t creepy. What I just... heard is the best word for it, I suppose. What I just heard some of them doing, that was creepy.”

“What did they do?” asked Twilight, bracing herself internally.

The two girls shifted around to sit side by side, backs against the head of Twilight’s bed. Sunset’s headgem flared green, and a rectangle of golden light traced itself on the air in front of them. Inside the rectangle, an image of some kind of chapel shimmered into view, filled with people dressed in their best clothes. More than a few, including the lady standing at the front, had the same bright yellow skin and striped red-and-yellow hair as Sunset herself.

For a moment, Twilight had no idea what had so disturbed Sunset. But then the priestess removed the cover of a dish sitting on the table in front of her, and the image zoomed in to reveal a pile of bacon bits. At the same time, sound joined the image, a voice that was presumably the priestess’s speaking from offscreen.

“I would ask those serving to come forwards. If the rest of you could wait as the element is distributed, we will partake together as one communion in Sunset.”

The image zoomed back out again to show several figures come forward and distribute the bacon bits among everyone. Sunset’s arm gradually slipped around Twilight and pulled her closer as the ceremony progressed, until by the time the servers returned to the front of the room Sunset was pressed up against Twilight like a vine against a wall. Twilight felt like a rabbit hypnotized by a serpent, horrified at what she was seeing but unable to look away.

The priestess raised her handful of bacon. “This is the body of Sunset, which we take in communion with Her,” she said, before eating.

“This is the body of Sunset,” echoed the roomful of worshippers, before they too took their mouthfuls of bacon. The image cut out.

“And that,” said Sunset, “is when I teleported to you.”

“You’re right,” said Twilight after a long moment. “That was an entirely new dimension of creepy.”

(FoME)

"Hmm..." Ruby Rose stroked her chin in thought. "So by consuming the bacon bits, you symbolically become one with the Glorious Proclaimer?"

"Precisely," said Western Horizon, founder of Bacharism.

"I see. Do you think that those of us who venerate Her equine aspect could make it work with hay?"

"Only the Golden-Marbled One can say for certain, but I don't see why it would not. The substance matters less than the intention with which it is consumed." After a moment, Western added, "Though I'm fairly certain she'd smile more on a substance you can actually digest."

Twilight awoke from a dream of being spooned by Sunset to find it had come true in one of the less pleasant ways. She turned to face her girlfriend as best she could. "Whuh?"

All Sunset said was, "It's spreading."

After a few moments, Twilight coerced enough neurons to fire to get her to say "What is?"

"The creepy bacon rite."

Twilight didn't say another word. She just held Sunset until the sun rose.

(ArtieStroke)

"... and so, I think we should add consumption to the Shimmerist curriculum." Ruby said, beaming in front of her three cardinals. The three of them gave various looks, before the pope's sister raised her hand. "Yeah, Sunny?"

"Ruby, that's kinda..." She grimaced, motioning to the other two to help her out.

"Creepy?" Belladonna said, turning back to her book.

"Disgusting?" Snow said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Semi-cannibalistic?"

"Non-vegetarian inclusive?"

The rest of them looked at Snow for that one, as she shrugged her shoulders, "What? I find meat to be barbaric! No thank you!"

"C'mon, guys!" Ruby whined, "I got it explained and everything! Why don't you just give it a chance—"

"Rubes," Sunny said, standing up and putting a hand on her little sister's shoulder, "I know you're the pope here, but... Sunset's kind of still a person, yeah?"

"Yeah?"

"And how would you feel if a bunch of people worshiped you by eating a thing and pretending it was your body?"

Ruby frowned, "Ehhhhh..."

Sunny ruffled Ruby's hair, "Just give it more than a passing thought, okay? You know," she said, grinning, "Food for thought."

Belladonna sighed as Snow and Ruby groaned at Sunny's joke.

"Sunny, you're the worst."

"Don't you mean... the WURST? Eh? Ehh?"

"Just stop!"

"I swear I will excommunicate you!"

Author's Note

The first part is what happens when Void Knight's imagination gets going in the middle of communion. The rest of us jumped on the idea.

For the record, Harmonism doesn't have any kind of symbolic food rite. Western Horizon apparently got blindsided by a Prachettian inspiration particle and ran with it, much to Sunset's distress.

Bishop to b4, by Masterweaver

"You've been punning more and more often ever since joining the clergy," Belladonna pointed out. "What is up with that?"

Sunny shrugged. "Well, I am the one whose name has the closest link to our Glorious Proclaimer, the whole sun thing, so I've done a lot of thinking about how words can be interpreted in a variety of ways. After that whole thing with the bar, I realized... I kind of have to watch what I say, so what I mean is clear, you know?"

Snow blinked. "I didn't think you'd take this so seriously..."

"Yeah I know, I look like a typical ditz. But after all that nonsense in Tauros..."

Sunny and Belladonna shuddered as one.

Snow nodded. "I guess I can see your point. If Ruby hadn't found me, I'd probably be starving on the streets still... Adversity builds character."

"Even if it isn't fun. Or deserved." Belladonna scratched the back of her neck awkwardly.

Ruby took a breath. "You... do you girls just want to take a spa day Saturday? Relax before we go back to being the heads of a religion?"

There was a pause.

"...Would any of us actually find that relaxing?" Sunny asked.

"Yeah, you're right. Paintball then."

There was a general nod of agreement.

Author's Note

A follow-up to the previous one, but far enough removed from the central topic that I thought it merited its own chapter.

In Heaven's Name, by Masterweaver

Sunset Shimmer rolled her eyes as the doors slammed open. "Before you ask, I am not encouraging this. Heck, one of my bishops is trying to put it down. I'll take your petition, of course, and acknowledge it in my next vlog, but at the moment I am trying to relax."

Sunny Flare blinked. "...I thought you didn't like using omniscience."

"I don't."

"Then how do you know I'm objecting to the movement to make naming children after celestial objects illegal?"

"Same way I know about the countermovement to make people named after celestial objects saints of some sort." Sunset gestured to her phone. "The Internet."

Sunny opened her mouth, paused, and nodded. "Makes... sense. I had a speech—"

"Do you have it in text form?"

"Yes."

"Leave it with the petition, I swear I'll get to it."

Author's Note

Reverence comes in many forms, few of them welcome.

Fallout Girl, by ArtieStroke, FoME, and Masterweaver

(ArtieStroke)

Sweetie Belle landed with an 'oof', brushing her skirt as she stood back up. Dumb vision magic, making her mindscape feel real and stuff.

"Alright, what's wrong this time," she asked, mostly to herself. She never really got literal answers when seeing the future, just getting to witness the possible events as they might happen. Though she had to admit, this vision was... pretty boring. Metal halls and corridors everywhere, the flashing of backlit signs over heavy metal doors: Living Quarters, Engineering, Computer Repair. Huh. Must be quite a bit farther into the future than she thought. Maybe she was on a spaceship? That'd be pretty neat!

A figure rounded the corner, walking in a hurry. Sweetie could tell she was older than her, but she was still about her size. Clad in a blue jumpsuit with a pack over her back, the figure continued powerwalking down the hallway, and Sweetie's perspective followed her. They passed through a few more corridors, past places labelled Agriculture and Overseer's Office, until they reached one labelled Vault Entrance. Sweetie gulped; something about the door seemed imposing, even though it was hardly any different than the others. With another tap on the open button, the doors slid open, revealing a large room half-hewn out of stone.

"This doesn't look like a spaceship," Sweetie said, frowning. Her point of view continued forward, heading towards a pair of armed guards in front of a console.

"Ahem. Excuse me, sirs!" The girl said, nervousness in her voice, "I'm here on the, uh, Overseer's orders. Certified Vault-Tec technician. I'm supposed to be looking over the door controls, making sure they're still operating correctly after the, uh, incident."

The guards looked at each other, before one of them looked back, "Do you have requisition forms signed by the Overseer proving this?"

The girl blinked, "Uh..."

"Didn't think so," The other said, rolling his eyes, "Now beat it, pipsqueak."

Sweetie Belle frowned, crossing her arms. Those two were lucky this was just a theoretical vision of the future that she couldn't affect. They would be getting all kinds of talking-tos if she were actually there.

One of the guards frowned, "Hey, wait a minute. I recognize you."

"Huh?" said the girl.

The guard nodded, "Yeah. You're the one who let Velvet out of the Vault in the first place!"

The girl stiffened, and Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. She glanced over at the massive, cog-shaped door. How the heck could anyone break out through that?

"You know what?" The girl said, squaring her shoulders defiantly as her headgem started to glow, "You're absolutely right."

Sweetie turned back from the door, just in time to see the girl levitate a set of lockers, tipping them to the ground and trapping the guards under them. "WOAH! What the heck, that could've seriously hurt someone!" she squeaked, her words unnoticed as always by the girl whose perspective she was riding.

"And I'm also the one who's gonna get her back," the girl finished, jumping over the prone forms of the guards to the control panel, raising an arm with what looked like some kind of super-heavy watch attached to it. Sweetie grimaced, gingerly stepping over the guards as the girl typed on her watch.

"Alright, let's hope this works," said the girl, clicking one last button as an audio file popped up.

"The override code for Vault 2's door is DC3BFF."

Sweetie Belle's eyes widened. Though the recording was poor in quality, the identity of the voice was clear. "Apple Bloom!?"

Sirens began to wail as the girl typed in the code and a large, metallic arm swung forward and attached to the door. A voice on the loudspeaker crackled to life, "Stop! I order you to stop this instant!"

The girl jumped, scrambling away from the control panel and to the edge of the painted 'Stand Back' zone of the door.

"Guards! I want every guard to the Vault door. Stop that girl!"

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" The girl said, bouncing on her feet in anxiety. Sweetie looked nervously from her, to the Vault door, to the exit, back into the Vault itself. What even was going on!?

"You don't have to do this!" The voice on the loudspeaker seemed almost pleading, "Littlepip— It's Littlepip, right?"

Littlepip—apparently—stopped, turning towards the loudspeaker, "Miss Overseer... Listen, I'm gonna bring Velvet back, okay? I have to do this—"

"Littlepip, if you take one step outside of that door, you won't ever get back in again!"

Sweetie put her hands over her mouth. How could they do that? To someone who was just trying to fix their mistake?

Littlepip turned back to the door, now fully pulled out of its frame and rolled to the side. She took a deep breath, and walked forward.

"Sweetie Belle."

Sweetie jumped, and immediately the vision faded away into a vaguely orange liminal space. "Sunset? What the heck was that?" she asked.

Sunset's physical form manifested with a worried frown. "I don't know, but whatever it was, it was strong enough to register as something I should be checking out personally." She started walking, Sweetie moving by her side.

After they walked for a while, Sunset spoke again. "I don't think that future you saw was inevitable, but whatever it was, it drew you to it because of how involved you and the rest of the Crusaders will be with it."

Sunset waved a hand, summoning a window that showed a bubble topped by a large, crystalline tree, with several small, fractured bubbles on the sphere's surface. Next to it, a similar bubble wrapped in Sunset's many protective arms drifted closer. A single, similarly fractured bubble flickered on the surface of Sunset's world with a fizzle before fading away.

"Well... that seems ominous," Sweetie said.

Sunset turned to her. "Someone's trying to mess around with fate, Sweetie Belle. I'd say that's a bit more than just 'ominous'."

(FoME)

Sunset very definitely did not think of her friends by any grandiose title. She knew if she slipped up and uttered some phrase like "Council of Harmony," "Circle of the Sun," or even just "Cosmic Balance Buddies," it would echo in the halls of every building that put her cutie mark in a prominent place.

So, it was just Sunset and her friends convening in Rarity's room, where Sunset displayed Sweetie's vision with what Twilight insisted on calling the holodeck spell. (It was nothing of the sort; there were much lower odds of any of the illusions becoming self-aware and trying to kill and/or seduce anyone.)

After the jumpsuited grey girl walked out of the Vault and the illusion vanished, Twilight was first to break the silence. "You do know that that was basically a riff on the Megaton games, right?"

Sunset blinked. "It was?"

Pinkie nodded. "Y'know, if Sweetie's going to date Button Mash, she really should brush up on this sort of thing."

"Sweetie's going to what!?" shrieked Rarity.

"It's especially bizarre," said Twilight, "because the Megaton games are built around a sort of 'retro-future' aesthetic, as if life really were how the 1950's imagined the 1990's before the bombs fell. Atomic-powered cars, robot butlers, individual transistors the size of postage stamps—"

"Could we get back to my darling little sister and the brute who wants to ravage her of her innocence?"

"Rarity, back before the Fall Formal, I didn't bother bullying Button Mash because he was too easy a target. Sweetie will be fine." Sunset gave Rarity a reassuring smile, then turned back to Twilight. "So, what are you saying?"

"Well, we don't have a lot to go on, but it doesn't seem terribly likely that our present would lead to that future."

"The resemblance could just be coincidence," said Rarity, who was searching MyStable for this so-called "Button Mash" on her phone.

"Giant gear doors, jumpsuits, multigenerational fallout shelters called Vaults led by Overseers?" Twilight shook her head. "There's coincidence, and then there's something that borders on copyright infringement. Something screwy is definitely going on."

"Well yeah," said Sunset. "I could tell that from how our world is listing in probability space."

Rainbow Dash waved a hand. "Uh, Earth to eggheads? Question from Ground Control."

Sunset turned to her. "Yeah, Dash?"

"What's this all mean, anyway?"

"Someone's screwing with time."

Twilight hummed. "You don't think..."

"Oh, come on. What are the odds that the human Starlight Glimmer would also be that reckless?" Sunset offered a wide smile. Twilight just stared at her, arms crossed.

Sunset looked around the room. "Guys? Little help?"

Applejack scowled. "Ain't Starlight Glimmer the pony what made you hurl 'cause she tried to ruin our lives?"

"Well, your analogues' lives, yes, but... Look, I'll check on her real quick, okay?" Sunset's eyes glowed golden. And stayed that way.

The others looked at each other nervously. This normally took less than a second. Finally, Fluttershy said, "Um, Sunset? Is everything okay?"

Sunset shakily said, "I can't find the human Starlight."

"Oh no. Is... is she—"

"That's the thing. I can't find any sign of her whatsoever. It's like she never actually existed."

Dash shrugged. "Maybe she doesn't."

Applejack nodded. "You never did track down your human self."

Sunset shook her head. "No. I considered asking her to help govern fate, but she panicked as much as she could when we changed the world. She's out there... except she isn't."

"So something's hiding her from you," said Twilight.

"Yeah." Sunset let her eyes dim, making the concern all the more visible. "The question is what. And why."

(Masterweaver)

The field of void raised. Coffee Swirl quirked an eyebrow, noting how the figure in the center sagged. "What just happened?"

"It is tedious but simple to hide from a god when they are not looking. When they seek one out specifically, measures must be taken." The figure nodded to the wide-eyed women on each side of him. "She sought them out specifically. I know not why, but—"

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" Sunset shrieked. "WHAT THE FUCK DID WE JUST SEE!?"

"The... the fire, and, and the bodies, and they, and they were all moving..." Starlight hugged herself. "I, that was, so much at once—"

"Different presents. Different nows. Might have beens and maybes." The figure shrugged. "This world is still fractured, plates of possibility sliding over each other like tectonics on Earth. I've been leading us through caves, but to make you invisible when she was looking, I had to shove you into the mines."

Coffee Swirl leaned back with a frown. He noted the new kid staring at their benefactor, wide-eyed. "So are they going to have to go through that again, or what?"

The women snapped up at that, Starlight nearly stumbling, but the figure rose a hand. "Peace. The godling is young, and has life elsewhere. She will try to seek why her vision is not working, and in that time she will not seek any of us, I hope. If need be, I will do it again, but I doubt it will need be soon."

He frowned. "Though I had hoped it would not need be now... there are not enough of us yet..."

For a moment, he stared into the campfire.

"...We must move more swiftly. Juniper?"

The new girl jumped. "Wha— Yes?"

"Ask your friend for more donations. Surrounding myself with spies is better than an empty force."

"I, uh, don't know what—"

"In the meantime, we head east. Something precious lies that way. Not useful to me, but one will seek it, and through her we may find enough."

"I'm getting tired of your cryptic nonsense," Coffee Swirl grumbled.

"The godling is not the only one whose eyes and ears we must avoid. Don't fret; you will soon receive that which you have worked for."

Recessive Aubergine, by FoME

"So then cousin Braeburn looks to me and says—" Applejack stopped in the middle of the hallway, eyes wide. "Shoot."

"What's wrong?" said Sunset.

"Forgot somethin' important." Applejack plowed into the stream of students moving the other way. Most of them scattered. A few went flying.

Sunset followed in her wake, offering uncertain smiles to those she passed by. "Applejack?"

Applejack didn't answer, too busy struggling with her locker. "C'mon. C'mon..."

"You know, that works better if you—" Everyone in the hallway winced at the sound of tortured metal. Sunset sighed. "... unlock it first."

"Phew. Thank goodness. Can't believe I left this in here." Applejack turned around, her smile sweeter than her grandmother's apple pie, holding a small bottle to her chest.

Sunset surreptitiously restored the locker door to how it was meant to be. "What is that? Looks like hand sanitizer." She leaned in closer. "Well, if hand sanitizer were cloudy and gritty."

"Ain't it obvious? Lemon juice, sea salt, an' ground-up sesame seeds."

Sunset looked back and forth between Applejack and the concoction she held so proudly. "What."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "I jus' told ya. Lemon juice, sea salt, an' ground-up sesame seeds."

"Are you really passionate about homemade salad dressing or what?"

"Look, with all the mythological nasties comin' outta the woodwork like they are, I figured it was best I take a few precautions 'gainst the Baba Ganoush."

Sunset took a few moments to formulate her response. "The what?"

"Oh, right. I suppose they don't tell that story in Equestria. The Baba Ganoush is an evil witch what takes away bad little boys and girls who don't do their chores an' makes 'em work all night an' day for her, farmin'..." Applejack shuddered. "Eggplants."

Sunset looked around. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but oh good, we have a crowd. Does anyone else know what Applejack's talking about?"

A chorus of "No"s rang out through the hallway.

Applejack looked around the crowd, scowling and holding her Baba Ganoush ward close to her. "What're y'all talkin' about?"

Sunset put a hand on her shoulder. "Applejack, I have some important news for you."

"Great practice, guys!" said Rainbow Dash. "Go hit the showers; I'll be in in a few!"

A few moments into collecting the practice soccer balls from the pitch, Dash spotted something through the bleachers. "Huh?" She went over the stands to see a girl lying on her back, staring up at the clouds. "Applejack?"

"Heya, RD." Applejack's gaze didn't move.

"What are you doing?"

"Did you ever know my family was..." Applejack bit her lip. "Weird?"

Dash crossed her arms. "AJ, I don't think I've seen a single thing in your house that didn't have an apple on it somewhere. Yeah. You guys are kind of weird."

"Huh. Do you like eggplants?"

"I can take 'em or leave 'em. Why?"

"No reason."

Author's Note

Because Baba Yaga. That is all. :derpytongue2:

Bumping Back, by FoME

Twilight looked back and forth between the two beaming earth aspects and the multimeter. Sunny Flare just tried to stare holes into Lemon Zest's smiling face.

Finally, Twilight turned off the power, took a deep breath, and said, "What."

"You turned gold wire into a room-temperature superconductor by covering the spool with stickers," added Sunny.

Twilight pointed at her. "Yes. That. What?"

"Huh. Y'know, I figured Sunny'd be the one to break," said Lemon.

"I know!" Pinkie held up a fuzzy pair of earmuffs. "I was already for a full-bore Sparkle freakout!"

Twilight, eyes twitching and hair springing out of shape, grunted out a "How?"

"Earth magic!" chorused the self-proclaimed fungineers.

Twilight started hyperventilating. Sunny raised a hand, hesitated for a moment, then put it on her shoulder. "Relax, Twilight. You get used to this kind of thing around Lemon. I think she infected your friend."

Twilight shut her eyes and stopped. Everything. For a few seconds, she was almost perfectly still. Finally, she said, "No, Pinkie's always like that." She looked to the pink pair. "Can you make more?"

"Yeah," said Lemon, "but this is still strictly cottage-industry-level bullshit. Takes a fair amount of oomph to convince the gold to let electrons flow free of charge."

"That's what the stickers are for!" said Pinkie.

"That is indeed what the stickers are for. But it should be enough for that project of yours, right?"

Twilight considered the spool of sci-fi paydirt. "Yes. Yes it should. Ladies, we are one step closer to the hand-portable anti-angst monster energy cannon."

"You're going to need a better name for it," said Sunny.

"We'll worry about that when we have a functioning prototype."

Author's Note

The good news about angst monsters is that there are very few of them and very many magically empowered people who can defend themselves against them.

The bad news is that the monsters don't stay dead most of the time, and the population is slowly rising.

Thus, science is needed.

Conspiracy Weary, by FoME

"... and then Button said—"

A lunch tray slamming onto the table cut Sweetie off. She and Apple Bloom looked to see a bleary-eyed Scootaloo all but fall into her seat.

"Dang, Scoot, you look like death warmed over." Apple Bloom tossed an apple onto the other girl's tray. "You need that more'n I do."

"Still can't sleep?" said Sweetie.

"No. Every night with these people. I get it's important. I really do. I just wish they'd actually say something meaningful for once! Every single time, it's all 'false bone and cold iron' or 'the mines of time' or 'the raven farts at midnight.' Just once, I'd like to hear some bunch of shadowy figures who just comes out and says what the crap they're talking about!" Scootaloo sighed and grabbed the apple. "Or at least one that didn't bother me."

"We should prob'ly tell Sunset about this," said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and swallowed."Tell her what? I'm hearing voices at night? Even I'm not sure if they're actually dreams."

"I think we can ask Vice Principal Luna about that," said Sweetie.

"I'd warn her about this, sure. But first I'd need to know what I'm actually warning her about." Scootaloo folded onto the table face first. "Sometimes I wish I could trade this stupid magic for flight."

Apple Bloom threw a french fry at her. Scootaloo's hand darted up, snatched it out of the air without her looking, and brought it to her mouth. "Ya sure about that?"

"Okay, maybe not, but I at least wish it had an off switch." Scootaloo twitched. Her stunted wings flared out of her neck as she bolted to her feet. "Oh, don't tell me someone's meeting in the middle of the day! No one cares!"

Author's Note

Embodying the present means you're aware of any fatefully important current events. It doesn't mean you get any context for them.

Huginn Kisses, by Masterweaver and FoME

Author's Note

Basically a direct follow-up to the previous snippet, but one distinct enough that I feel it merits its own chapter.

Also, guess what I've started watching.

Huginn Kisses, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

A few days passed.

Sweetie and Apple Bloom shared a look.

"...Uh, Scoots?" Apple Bloom tried. "Ya got... a little somethin' on yer—"

"It's a raven." Scootaloo shot her a grumpy look. "Don't act like you don't know what it is."

"Um. Okay. Why do you—"

"It won't leave me alone!" Scootaloo exploded. "It's just following me everywhere and, and..."

She sighed.

Sweetie awkward reached out to pat the shoulder that was not occupied by a bird. "Well... at least it's friendly?"

"I guess..."

"Cute boy!" the bird cawed suddenly, poking Scootaloo.

"Agh what—"

"Cute boy!" It pointed its beak at a bench.

"What, Rumble? Rumble's not—"

"FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT—"

"SHUT UP!"

Sweetie winced. "Yeah. Okay. That's... weird."

(FoME)

A man strode into Canterlot High as though he owned the place. His hair and beard, both close-cropped, were at that uncomfortable point between greyish red and reddish grey. His skin was the color of basalt and about as craggy. He wore an expensive suit the color of melted vanilla ice cream, a grey silk tie, and a silver tie pin depicting a tree in surprising detail. A raven perched on one shoulder like a parrot that had recently escaped from a coal chute.

"Sir?"

The man did not acknowledge the voice as he moved past the principals' offices. The voice's owner pursued him.

"Sir, this school may have a rather lenient admission policy, but you are clearly not a teenager."

"That I am not, Luna Empyris," said the man, not breaking his stride as he continued onward. "Rest assured that I will not be long."

Luna considered magically restraining the man, but even considering it sent a shiver from her headgem down her spine. "Sir, I would greatly appreciate it if we could avoid any major magical incidents this week."

"I will try to be subtle, but that was always my brother's forte." The man chuffed out a harsh laugh. "Fat lot of good that did him in the end."

Luna took a deep breath and drew on decades of experience with Mr. Discord. "Can I at least know who's trespassing in my school?"

The man stopped at the doors of the cafeteria and glanced back at her. He offered a weathered smile. "Call me Mr. Wednesday."

With that, he threw open the doors and strode in, surveying the area. The teenage crowds all turning to him and looking at him helped, though the way they seemed to be waiting for him to do something interesting was a touch disconcerting.

Mr. Wednesday's eye gravitated towards one table in particular, but found only disappointment. "Not the valkyrie or the tree spirit or even Iðunn the Younger," he muttered.

His raven cawed an inch from his ear, then clamped down and tugged. He let it steer his head until he saw its partner. "Ah! Well spotted."

Eyes kept following him as he strode through the cafeteria. Even Iðunn the Elder—and for all he knew, that might well have been her—was watching him from behind the serving counter. He lapped up the attention eagerly. It wasn't worship, but it was still a pleasant warmth on old bones.

He stomped to a stop like a jolly, half-drunken uncle and pitched his voice to match. "What do you think you're doing, bothering these young Norns like this?"

The other raven flapped away from him, keeping the orange Verðandi between them. "NO!" it screeched.

Mr. Wednesday sighed and turned to his other raven. "How many times has this happened since Sunset Shimmer healed the world?"

"EIGHT!"

"Just so." He looked down at the young fatespinners and chuckled. "My apologies, ladies. My thoughts have a tendency to get away from me."

The raven's new perch beamed at him. "So you're here to take this thing away?"

"NO! NO NO NO NO—"

"SHUT UP!" girl and god bellowed as one. Mr. Wednesday extended an index finger expectantly. The raven feigned pecking at it a few times before hopping on as sulkily as it could.

"Thank the Tree you showed up, Mister," said the young present.

Mr. Wednesday couldn't help but chuckle at that, even if it made the stabbing pain in his chest throb a little in memory. "Indeed."

"Uh, Apple Bloom?" said the white Skuld. "You okay?"

The yellow Urðr just gaped at him, eyes likely filled with visions of better, darker days.

Mr. Wednesday grinned. "I have that effect on some women."

The Cosmic Perspective, by FoME and Star Scraper

Twilight stared out at the moon and stars, not with wonder, but with fear. The cosmos unfolded before her in all its splendor, yet she sat folded in on herself, half-whispering, "It wouldn’t be so bad if space wanted to kill us. The truth is that there’s nothing there. Nothing to hate, nothing to care, nothing to breathe. We are the skin infection of a dust mote circling a spark in an emptiness so vast that we can’t even hope to comprehend the scales involved."

Sunset quirked an eyebrow and dismissed her spell. Light pollution streamed back in, obscuring many of the stars that could be seen from Twilight's bedroom window. "Twilight, I just asked if you wanted some hot chocolate."

Twilight still stared at the sky. "What is hot chocolate to the void?"

"I’m not serving hot chocolate to the void. I’m serving it to you."

"Universal consciousness claims that all are one, and in some metaphysical sense might just be due to the Mind-Body Problem and unphysicality of qualia. So we are all the void."

After a deep breath, Sunset smirked. "So if you’re part of the void, then the void likes hot chocolate?"

Twilight processed this for several seconds. Finally, she said, "Yes. The void likes hot chocolate and would like some, please. It also says thanks."

"Any time," Sunset said with a kiss to the top of the void's head.

Author's Note

Based on the comments on the Derpibooru image linked here. I'm afraid they're too interwoven for my usual parenthetical attribution. See the source to see which ones are mine and which are Star Scraper's. (He's Cirrus Light on Derpibooru.)

And yes, this is a story based on comments on fan art of a spinoff of a reboot of a toy commercial. We are at Derivation Depth 5. Possibly 6.

Symmetric Property, by SaintAbsol

"Sorry 'bout this, Miss Sunset."

Sunset groaned, rubbing at her head. "Look, Macintosh?"

"Just call me Big Mac, Miss Sunset," said the man leading her through the orchard. "Most people do."

"Okay, Big Mac. Anyway, you're my friend's brother and I've known you socially for a while now. It's bad enough that people I don't know are treating me as some sort of goddess, I really don't want to have to deal with people Iknow treating me specially. So, please, drop the 'Miss'."

Macintosh glanced back over his shoulder, then back to the path they were walking. "Okay."

"Good," Sunset let out a sigh of relief. "Now, what's the problem?"

Macintosh hesitated. "Um... probably best if'n ya just see fer yerself. It's just up here."

He led her to a clearing that Sunset vaguely recognized from the time AJ's problem with green mana first came up. Furthering the nostalgia, Applejack towered overhead just as she did then. However, Sunset found herself gaping at what else was there. Applejack held something that compared to her was the size of a small dog, something that the pony-turned-human had thought she'd never see in real life again.

"That's a bucking dragon!"

The dragon in question was sporting a mix of brown and white scales and let out a short cry that sounded very similar to a bark at Sunset's shout, squirming about as Applejack struggled to hold it and calm it down. "Easy there, Winona girl; ya know Sunset."

Sunset blinked in shock. "Wait, 'Winona'?"

The dragon barked again, this time releasing a bit of fire as it did, making AJ flinch away.

"Eeyep," Macintosh drawled, a bit of tension in his voice as he tried to put on a calm expression. "She was like that when we got up, and AJ's been tryin' to keep her from burnin' down the orchard. So... if'n ya could get her back to bein' a dog, we'd really appreciate it."

Author's Note

"Has this been happening to any other dogs?"

Mac shrugged. "Ain't like I've seen any."

It was at about that time that Sunset sensed Fluttershy's scream.

Scratching at the Wrapper, by FoME

People filled Canterlot Park amid perfect early summer weather. On one grassy swath, Bonbon practiced martial arts katas, while Lyra rested her head in her palms and watched Bonbon practice martial arts katas.

Lyra sighed. "Harmony, you're beautiful."

"What brought this on?" Bonbon smiled despite the question, not breaking her practice.

"Just thinking." Lyra turned over on to her back, still watching her. "Remember the first time we met?"

"How could I forget? It was so awkward to stand up there in front of everyone. I could barely remember my own name."

"You were beautiful then, too."

That almost made Bonbon miss a step. "I was not."

"You were!" Lyra said as she brought herself up to a sitting position.

"Lyra, I was a brace-face with glasses thicker than my pinkies." Bonbon smirked. "Besides, I remember your expression when you first saw me with contacts. I'm pretty sure that was the day you figured out you liked girls."

"I always knew I liked you." Lyra gave another sigh. "So, what agency does your dad work for?"

"Wh-what?" That did make Bonbon miss a step. She teetered on one foot, her other leg extended in a side kick. Once she stabilized, she said, "What are you talking about?"

Lyra crossed her arms. "Bonnie, I'm not stupid. I've been in the same classes as two Twilight Sparkles. Most fathers don't teach their daughters sleeper holds and kung fu."

"This isn't kung fu."

"That's not the point."

Bonbon sighed. "Lyra, this isn't some dumb spy movie. This is real life."

Lyra flared her headgem and gave Bonbon a flat look. "I've seen you recharge your phone by giving it a pep talk."

"Only by, like, five percent." Bonbon held Lyra's gaze for a few moments before wilting. She sat next to the other girl and gave her a side hug. "He's just really concerned about me being able to defend myself, that's all."

"Yeah," Lyra scoffed, "because we live in such a rough town."

Bonbon squeezed. "Lyra, I swear that my father doesn't currently work for any branch of the Federated States government."

"Bonnie..."

"And to the best of my knowledge—"

"Bonnie." Lyra gave her a light shove. "I know weasel words when I hear them."

"I'm not a spy. Dad's not a spy." Bonbon kissed Lyra on the cheek. "Happy?"

Lyra returned the hug and the kiss. "Yeah."

At dinner that night, Bonbon bit her lip and said, "Dad?"

Bon Mot looked up from his spaghetti. "Yes, Sweetie?"

"Did... did Mom ever, you know... suspect?"

Her mother, Aspartame, snorted. "Believe me, Sweetie, if I had ever suspected what he was up to before it was too late, I would... Well, things would've gone differently."

Bonbon looked down. "Oh."

"Is this about your friend?" said her father.

She nodded.

He sighed. "Be as honest as you can, dear. That's all any of us can do."

Author's Note

I know I have Getting the Band Back Together to work on, but How Lyra Met Bonbon is burning a hole in my proverbial idea wallet.

Also, here's the reason for Bonbon's childhood glasses.

Backwards in High Heels, by SaintAbsol

Apple Bloom sighed to herself as she walked through the halls of Canterlot High; Sweetie Belle was beside her, talking about something or other that was supposed to happen in the future, while Scootaloo shuffled along like a zombie beside the pair, occasionally cursing at the random bits of information she spontaneously knew regardless of the lack of context for any of them. All in all, it was pretty standard fare for the arbiters of fate.

Suddenly, Sweetie let out of a little "Ooh!" of excitement, a bright grin coming to her face as she turned to look at Apple Bloom.

"...I know that look, Sweetie," the farm-girl drawled, slightly nervous. "That's the look ya get whenever ya see Rumble and Scoots around each other."

Sweetie glanced toward their orange-colored friend just in time for her to say "I don't like him!"

"I didn't say you did~" Sweetie all but sang out, that smile still in place, causing Scootaloo to bury her face in her hands. "Buuuuuuuut, I think it can wait, we don't want to be late for class."

"Yeah," Apple Bloom grunted, starting around one of the hall's corners, only to grunt as she ran right into someone else.

Both of them staggered a bit, trying to keep their balance; however, being an earth aspect who had lived on a farm her whole life, it was Apple Bloom who eventually managed to keep the two of them from falling. Allowing her to finally get a good look at who she had collided with. It was a boy, with coloration shockingly similar to Scootaloo's, but with no sign of neck fluff. He was wearing a simple, if somewhat tight white shirt with a pair of pants that looked like they were part of a suit, as well as a pair of overly fancy shoes.

However, despite his rather fancy dress, the first words out of his mouth were "Sorry! Are you okay?"

Apple Bloom blinked a bit, but finally remembered what was going on. "Oh, Eeyep. Sorry 'bout that, wasn't really lookin' where I was goin'."

"Neither was I," the boy admitted, rubbing at the back of his head. "I was kind of in a rush. Name's Tender Taps, by the way," he added, reaching out his other hand for her to shake.

"Apple Bloom," she responded, shaking his hand with a smile. "Nice to meet'chya."

"Yeah," Tender Taps said, smiling as well, before his eyes bugged out at the sight of a nearby clock. "I've gotta go, I'm going to be late for my dance lessons!" He dashed around the corner, but not before calling back to Apple Bloom. "It was nice meeting you!"

Apple Bloom smiled a bit, before she blinked, then scowled. "You saw that happen, didn't you, Sweetie?"

"Maaaaaaaaaybe," Sweetie said, smiling coyly.

"She has her shipping chart in her backpack," Scootaloo grumbled, making that smirk shatter.

"You promised you wouldn't tell anyone about that!"

"No I didn't."

Apple Bloom sighed, rubbing her head as the other two started arguing, before grabbing both of them and starting to physically drag them to class. Tender Taps wasn't the only one who was going to be late if they didn't move it.

Author's Note

Regarding the chapter title:

As to why Sweetie has a shipping chart, according to SaintAbsol, Rarity's been taking her to Cadance for private singing lessons.

:unsuresweetie: "Dance, puppets, dance!"
None of that, young lady.

It's So Meta Even This Acronym, by Masterweaver

"....and one of the big problems is the WAITING," Raspberry Fluff complained. "I mean, seriously, I know it takes a while to make an anime, but come the hell on!"

Lemon Zest nodded. "Doesn't help that there are, like, two or three different sequel arcs in the works."

"Whoa, what, really?"

"Yeah, there's something about the time-menders, and then there's this whole arc with a mysterious benefactor, and I think I heard something about politics."

"Yeesh. These creators... it's like, I love your work, but FOCUS ON ONE THING!"

"I know, right?"

"Yeah." Raspberry shrugged. "Oh well. Hey, it's almost time for service. Wanna bet on how many times Ruby slips up?"

"She's getting better. I think two 'Wait I can explains' and one 'Here's a big word I can't pronounce.'"

"I'd actually say three big words, one explain, and one 'Metaphor nobody's heard of!' kind of deal."

"Twenty bucks on the winner?"

"Sure."

Author's Note

We apologize for the delay in more substantial content. Rest assured, the ideas are percolating.

X-Ray Examination, by Jenna Cipher and FoME

(Jenna Cipher)

The strange creature before It was puzzling.

Scans registered the specimen as mammalian in nature, corroborated by many of its physical features. However, said scans could not however explain the decidedly non-mammalian feathers growing along the cervical vertebrae, or the antigravitational capabilities demonstrated during pre-abduction observation.

Nor was this the only suite of abnormalities this race possessed. Several other "aspects" had been abducted and studied, none of which It could comprehend any more than this one. The supposed cause of these mutations puzzled It most of all. Based on the data thus far, this species both did and did not possess the Blessing; though the energy they manipulated appeared to have similar effects, any attempt to analyze it produced results not possible under the laws of physics as Its kind understood them.

With a look of near-resignation on its mouthless face and a glimmer of frustration in its large, bug-like eyes, it plucked a single orange hair from the specimen's head and set it into the ship's scanner for another round of tests.

The computer emitted a loud series of insectoid clicks and screeches that, if translated to the specimen's language, would mean, "DNA analysis 42 of test subject 'Windy Whistles', in progress."

It left the computer to its business and walked toward the stairwell leading to the launch bay. It would need to launch more abduction probes, collect more samples, and devise much more invasive tests if It was to solve the mystery of these "humans'" abilities. Still, even with Its many failures, some part of It remained confident that the task was possible.

(FoME)

Ditzy didn't usually loom over Kikai. The Munarin had been through more than enough; she didn't need the locals flaunting their greater size over her. But today was special. Ditzy dropped the newspaper in front of the felinoid alien, crossed her arms, and said, "Explain."

Kikai, who had been napping on Ditzy's bed until that point, wiped at her eyes with a paw, then looked at the paper. "I am terribly sorry that the subway workers' union is still in a standoff with management."

"The other article."

"'Mysterious Disappearances Continue.' Kikai bolted to her feet. "Do you think it's the Vaucoi?"

"It doesn't sound like them. People are just gone. Totally without a trace, physical or magical. No one's bothered Sunset about it yet, but... Well, call it a hunch, but I think there's something else out there. And I figured you might know them."

Kikai sighed. "Miss Doo, I'm flattered by your confidence, but I am not a copy of the Encyclopedia Galactica. Even if I were, I'd be horribly out of date. Besides, why would any self-respecting species travel halfway across the galaxy just to abduct a few of the..." She trailed off, eyes wide. "Oh no."

"What?"

"They are the... how to translate the term? Astrals? Quintessentials?"

Ditzy quirked an eyebrow. "You copied my knowledge of Wranglish. How can you not know?"

Kikai paced about the bed. "Because your language is a hair-splitting kleptomaniac with commitment issues. The point is that I do know of one species that might qualify. And if I'm right, we may want to contact Miss Shimmer sooner rather than later."

Author's Note

Basically, Jenna wanted to explore the possibility of an XCOM crossover.

Cool But Impractical, by FoME

Stone Waller had seen a lot of strange things over the years. Even before an alien teenager had become a god in denial, there had been things lurking at the edges of the world. She knew how right the term "paranormal" was; in her experience, the supernatural looked just like the normal, only twisted in a subtle way that was hard to notice but impossible to unsee once spotted.

It did not sit smiling on the other side of her desk, wearing a well-tailored if lime-green three-piece suit.

"I'm going to be blunt, Miss Heartstrings," said Waller. "I've spent almost thirty years in the Department of Paranormal Investigation. I've learned a lot of valuable lessons in my time, and one of the big ones is that national defense is best left to mundane methods." She sighed. "Unfortunately, I'm only the deputy chief, and Deeper Truth is convinced that now that magic is publicly available, we might as well put it to use. I'd heard about the lightsaber rumors at DAPLA, but I didn't think they'd drag you into this." Waller nodded to the woman sitting next to the sharp-dressed alien. "Or you, Tia."

Celestia gave a familiar, understanding smile. "I remember how it is, Stone. Besides, the Power Patriots need to work with the government, or at least not actively against it. Otherwise, we're just a bunch of vigilantes with good publicity."

Lyra crossed her arms. "I'm afraid I can't be as good a sport about this."

Waller raised an eyebrow. The girl's fists were clenched, but she'd assured Waller that most Equestrians did that when they forgot they had fingers. "Is it because we're not ponies?" Waller smirked as she glanced at her own fingernails. "Not entirely, anyway."

Lyra shook her head. "Truth be told, you are among the first non-equine governments we've reached out to, but that's not it. The standard Bureau policy for governments that don't contribute to our budget is mutual noninterference. This clearly isn't that.

"Granted, I technically don't have the authority to approve or deny the proposal, but even if I kick it upstairs, I'm sure you'll only have to wait longer before you get a 'No.'"

"Why not?"

"For one, you're definitely not going to get any other Bureau agents to help. Probability space is a perpetual mess, and that's putting it politely. That means that logistics are limited to portals, which your world can barely support right now, and one natural worldshifter who's still a legal minor. Secondly, I suspect this proposal was made largely for the acronym."

Celestia smirked. "It wouldn't be the first time. Remember SMILE and FROWN?"

Waller kept her thoughts on the matter out of her expression. "All too clearly."

"Here, it's downright transparent," said Lyra. "You even switched two letters around. It's the Equestrian Time-Space Administration, not the other way around. And we definitely have no interest in facilitating an interdimensional league of superheroes."

Waller nodded, allowing one corner of her mouth turn up just a fraction. "Understood. I'll just have to tell Chief Truth that he won't get to establish ESTABLISH."

Author's Note

DAPLA is the Defense Advancement Planning and Learning Agency. They invented the Internet.

This isn't the first time Celestia's mentioned some interesting personal history in this setting. It won't be the last.

And no, I'm not sorry. :trollestia:

It's Not Easy Being Blue, by Void Knight

The man opened his eyes.

He lay on his back, looking up through a canopy of delicate green toward the darkening blue of the sky. Stalks of bamboo were rustling in a warm, drowsy breeze. He could feel through his bruises (and a tremendous headache) that the ground beneath him was plush with fallen leaves. It was quiet here, under the bamboo. The air tasted faintly of salt, and he could hear waves in the distance.

Well, thought Jace Beleren, Vice Principal of Ravnica High as he sat up, this is new.

A quick glance around confirmed that he was nowhere he’d ever seen before. The island on which he now sat didn’t seem to have any other people on it, and was not all that big. But there, not a stone’s throw away across a shallow channel, was a town.

Okay, first step is to get to that town. It looks like a fairly civilized place, so they’ll have maps, cars, telephones, all the things I need to figure out where I am and how I got here and to get back home.

The thought of telephones prompted him to check his pockets, but his cellular phone was missing.

He made to step forward into the water, but just as his foot crossed the plane of the water’s edge, there was a flash of golden light and a force that threw him back. He landed on his back, and raised his head just in time to see a shining triangle enclosed by a circle fading away in the air in front of him.

“I don’t get it,” said Apple Bloom, sticking her hand out and splashing some ocean water. “Why doesn’t this magic stop us? And why did you bring us here? And what’s wrong with Scoots?” A wave of her hand indicated the orange-skinned daredevil, who was currently lying sprawled on the sand clutching her head.

“Weirdly enough, all those questions have the same answer,” said Sunset Shimmer. “You see, whoever did this didn’t technically cast a spell confining Vice Principal Beleren to this island. She found another Jace Beleren in some other universe, one who was already under a spell confining him to an island, or something similar. Then she cast an extremely powerful destiny spell linking the two of them. So we can pass through the shield because it doesn’t exist for anyone except Vice Principal Beleren. You’re here because I’m going to need your skills untangling the destiny spell without ripping big holes in causality. And I forgot to warn Scootaloo to brace herself, and she got stunned by suddenly coming face-to-face with that strong of a destiny spell that's currently ongoing. She’ll be fine in a moment.

“Gwabarga,” said Scootaloo, rolling over.

Author's Note

Congratulations, Jace. You're the new Fblthp.

As for who did this to him, Void's staying mum on the subject thus far.

Spreading Trends, by SaintAbsol and FoME

(SaintAbsol)

It was rather unnerving to see the school late at night, or so Rarity thought. The building just didn't look right looking so... empty and void of light or electricity; that it was well after midnight and she was alone didn't help matters. She shivered as a light breeze blew by, surprisingly cool even after the heat of the day, and wrapped her jacket a bit tighter around her. She would rather have been at home, in her nice, comfortable, exquisitely designed bed, but she had something she needed to get done, and this was the only time that Sunset wouldn't notice what she was doing... hopefully.

The base of the school's statue suddenly glowed, and a figure staggered out of it.

She was a pale white unicorn aspect, with a spiky collage of hair in purple, green, and yellow, wearing what looked to be a leather jacket and a pair of shorts that were just shy of being risque. "Well, that was something." The unicorn aspect did her best to stand upright, and looked at Rarity. As the girl opened her mouth, the newcomer cut her off with, "Don't ask. It involved a mix-up with a pair of potions that I'm at least as much to blame for as anypony else."

"Oh, good," Rarity said. "I was afraid I had been seduced into a punk band."

"No, but I think I've managed to start a punk revival in Ponyville." Rarity's Equestrian counterpart chuckled a bit, reminiscing. "Anyway, we've gotten off track here." Reaching into the pocket of her jacket, she pulled out a relatively small bag and held it out. "From what you've told me, gold is more valuable in your world than in Equestria, so this should be enough of a start-up loan."

It was all Rarity could do to not snatch the bag out of her counterpart's hand, instead gently taking it, and gripping it tightly so as not to open it for a peek. "Most likely, yes."

"Good," the transformed Equestrian said with an almost maniacal smirk. "Once you've gotten things set up here, I'll start sending you a few of my designs for you to modify."

"And," Rarity said with a matching smile, "once I've turned a profit, I'll send you a few of mine as well."

"And then, the first multidimensional franchise shall be established—"

"—and the fabulosity shall last FOREVER!"

As one, both Rarities threw their heads back and burst into mad laughter. All that was missing was a flash of lightning and thunder to complete the moment.

(FoME)

Sunset dismissed the scrying window hanging over her bed. "Should I tell them I always keep half an eye on the portal?"

Next to her, Twilight giggled. "That depends. Should one of us tell P-Rarity that the first outfit the portal gives you seems to become your default for all future trips to this universe?"

"I think we'll let her figure that out."

Author's Note

There are certain risks to having the same voice actress as Nightmare Moon.

SA blames this chapter entirely on this comment and my response thereto.

Traditions Old..., by FoME

"Okay, maybe if I..." Sunset forced her will against the substrate of the Astral Plane, one eye squinting shut and one cheek puffing out amid the mental effort.

The plane stubbornly remained orange.

"Darn it, what did I do?"

A subsonic thrum through the fabric of the local reality broke Sunset's concentration. She shrugged. "Eh, I needed a distraction. Good thing I got that transætheric doorbell." She willed the door to her house next to her and made for the front door. Opening it revealed a girlfriend holding what seemed to be a thin magazine. "Hey, Twilight. What have you got there?"

"P-Twilight sent me an annotated Equestrian calendar. May I come in?"

"Of course." Sunset took the calendar as she stepped aside. Photos of ponies in various picturesque points of Ponyville looked back, with explanatory captions underneath each one. "Huh. Didn't turn into anything different. There's that hypothesis disproven."

"Well, yes," said Twilight, now in her favorite chair, "but that wasn't what I wanted to talk about."

"What is it?"

Twilight enveloped the calendar in her magic and flicked through page after page, keeping them facing Sunset. "The days with holidays, festivals, and celebrations on this calendar outnumber the ones without any. When do ponies actually get anything done?"

"To be fair, I'm pretty sure pony Pinkie Pie made up at least half of those holidays." Sunset took back the calendar and leafed through it for a bit, her expression growing more uncertain with every moon. "Or maybe a third... or a quarter..." She bit her lip. "Okay, I definitely didn't recognize a few of those."

"I don't mean to insult your native culture, but you do have to admit that it's a little ridiculous."

Sunset raised an eyebrow as she looked back at Twilight. "Are you saying you don't want your Mare's Day bouquet?"

Twilight stiffened up, eyes wide. "I never said that."

... And New, by FoME

After several months of Ruby Rose's papacy, Sunset was beginning to get handle on the girl. "Beginning" being the operative word. "So, walk me through this," she said as they walked about the grounds of Bacon Academy.

"Above all else, o Glorious Proclaimer, you represent balance, so it's only natural that your most holy day be one where the day and night are of equal length."

"Right, I get that part of the symbolism. I don't see why you can't just use my birthday or something, though."

Ruby shook her head. "It's already taken. That's when we properly revere the Most Blessed Progenitrix."

Sunset took a moment to process that before facepalming. "Please don't tell me you're deifying my mother."

"As you wish, o Divine Bacon Horse."

Sunset took a deep breath and decided it was best to move on. "Alright, fine. Equinox it is. But why autumn over spring? Wouldn't it be more appropriate to celebrate my actions with the world returning to life or something like that?"

"This way, we face the coming months knowing that you will be there with us, that though the sun may set on the world, you will never set on your faithful." Ruby shrugged. "Plus, your version works in the Southern Hemisphere."

"Guess I'm just going to have to get used to people on this side celebrating the White Sabbath." Sunset thought of the times when she spent time with Princess Celestia on her traditional day of rest. Not that she'd been able to get much of it with Luna still banished.

"Hmm." The sounds of Ruby thinking brought Sunset back to the present. "White doesn't work, but... Oh! Golden! Golden Sabbath! We've been meaning to pick a proper name for it!"

"Why do I even speak around you?" Sunset groaned.

Ruby beamed. "Because you're an eternal font of knowledge and wisdom!"

"Yes. Obviously."

Author's Note

I couldn't avoid writing something for Sunset Shimmer Day in this universe now that I know when it is.

Dearly Demi-Departed, by ArtieStroke

"Cadence, one of these days you're really gonna have to break out the actual family tree or something," Shining Armor said, trying to bring a little levity to the somewhat uncomfortably grim ride. To his credit, that at least got a small chuckle from her.

"Honestly more of a family grove at this point."

The car rolled to a stop, and the two of them crossed the wrought-iron threshold into the Crystal City Cemetery, a bouquet in in Cadence's arms. It wasn't some dark and dreary day; the weather seemed to developing a sense for dramatic flair at times, but not today. Stopping in front of a headstone, Cadence placed the flowers down on the soft earth.

Tiller
April 20, 1985- June 23, 2003
Beloved Daughter and Sister

"So, older cousin, huh?"

Cadence nodded, sighing, "Adopted, of course. Auntie Celestia's always been one to bring in children, even before becoming a teacher."

Shining Armor nodded back, folding his arms across his chest. "Would it be too grim to ask how she, uh, well..."

Cadence shook her head, letting out a single chuckle, "No, I mean- it's the obvious question. With the absolute dumbest answer."

She took in a breath, holding it for a moment before releasing, "Crushed by a piece of satellite debris, from the space station. Toilet seat, actually."

Shining Armor gave her a look.

"I am dead serious."

"That's..." Shining Armor tried to pick his words carefully, before shaking his head, "I got nothing."

Nodding and wiping her eyes, Cadence put a hand on her fiance's shoulder. "That's probably for the best."

Tiller, though she preferred to go by Tilly, blew a raspberry as she watched her little practically-a-sister get all weird and emotional at her grave.

"Come on, at least let him know how much of a little brat you were!" she called down, but in her current state she knew they couldn't hear her.

"You have enough there, peanut?" said Ruben, her "boss," who was more like a manager.

Tilly groaned. "This sucks."

"Yeah, well, that's death for you. Come on, I've got sticky notes to hand out, soon-to-be-dead souls to shuffle along, and a waffle with my name on it."

Tilly groaned, reluctantly following Ruben away from the cemetery, "I don't even want this! Stupid magic, stupid afterlife. I was getting along just fine before all of this."

"Can't always get what you want, peanut."

It really did suck, being dead like her.

Author's Note

This is basically one big voice actress joke. Canonicity uncertain; I have some plans for Celestia that won't line up well with this.

Rumble's Frenzy, by FoME

The changing world hadn't done much to impact Rumble, aside from Sweetie Belle constantly giggling whenever he was nearby. Flying was cool, sure, but it didn't get homework done and Coach Will did not approve of flight, whether it was in gym class or at track meets.

As such, he was checking MyStable when his phone rang. He answered the call without even looking away from his monitor. "Hello?"

"What did you do!?"

Rumble blinked and checked the caller ID. It just showed a number, and the voice has been too angry to make out. "Who is this?"

"Sweetie Belle. What did you do?"

"Uh..." Rumble looked around. "Liked an image of some statue Chipcutter posted on—"

"Not that! Whatever you did that threw off my entire shipping grid! Or maybe you didn't do it yet, and now you have to or I'm going to get the worst migraine and..." Sweetie gave a sound that was half-groan, half-shout, then hung up.

Rumble just stared at his phone. It lit up with another call from another self-proclaimed "Crusader." He gulped and connected. "Hey, Scoota—"

"What did you do!?"

"Uh, talked to Sweetie Belle."

"That little—" Scootaloo cut off her own near-growl. "Okay, whatever she said, ignore it. It's not true, it didn't happen, I said nothing."

"What?" said Rumble.

"Never you mind!"

Rumble's hackles rose at the venom in Scootaloo's voice. "She just yelled at me for no reason!"

"Then why am I mad at you!?"

"How should I know!?"

"Fine!"

"Fine!" Rumble hung up and found himself floating a few inches above the floor, huffing and puffing with each breath, the back of his neck tingling and a faint crackling sounding from his wingbow.

Thunderlane opened his bedroom door. "Heard you all the way from the kitchen, little bro. Everything okay?"

After a few deep breaths, Rumble said, "I have no idea."

Thunderlane nodded. "Sounds like someone had his first fight with his girlfriend."

Confusion helped cool Rumble's adrenaline rush. He landed and said, "I don't have a girlfriend."

"Sure you don't," said Thunderlane, rolling his eyes for some reason. "Well, I suppose now's about the time you gotta start worrying about that time of the month. They cover that in health class yet?"

The back of Rumble's neck prickled again, but this time he was sure anger wasn't doing it. "Could we not talk about this? Ever?"

Thunderlane leaned down, ruffled his hair, gave a wide smile, and said "No."

Apple Bloom gave a low whistle as she saw Rumble trudge into homeroom. Bags hung under the boy's eyes, while his hair was more messed up than Twilight Sparkle's after the more explosion-prone sort of experiment. "The heck did you do last night?"

His gaze transfixed her, his pupils nearly pinpricks. "I. Don't. Know."

Author's Note

It's not easy being the human analogue of the episode's antagonist. Especially not when your she's-not-my-girlfriend is privy to all personally important current events.

Home-Grown Determination, by SaintAbsol

The bell above the door jingled as Applejack walked into Rarity's shop with a bundle of fabric under her arm, signaling her arrival.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique," Rarity called from somewhere further in. "I'll be—"

"It's just me, Rares," Applejack called out, cutting off the greeting. "Just finish up whatever yer workin' on, I can wait." She settled in for some time, idly looking around at the various designs Rarity had on display. While she had always been a simple girl with simple needs (and usually just spent her days in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, maybe a skirt if she wanted to make herself more presentable,) AJ simply couldn't help but admire the amount of effort and work Rarity put into her clothes.

She winced a bit as several comments she had made during the Battle of the Bands came back to her, as well as how she had never actually apologized for them. She'd have to make that up to Rarity one of these days.

Her eyes continued to roam before settling on a series of papers laid out on a table in the corner. With some mild curiosity, Applejack headed toward it, and cast her gaze toward it.

"DON'T LOOK AT THAT!"

Applejack jumped as Sweetie Belle rushed down the stairs, Rarity bursting out from her work room less than a moment later. "What is—"

Sweetie Belle all but teleported the rest of the way to the papers, grabbing them up hastily in her hands and a few in her magic. "You can't see these yet! It'll ruin everything!" Without another world, she dashed back up the stairs, magically snagging a few loose papers as they slipped out.

Applejack, for her part, just blinked. "What in the..."

Rarity sighed, shaking her head. "It's her 'shipping grid', as she calls it; she's been poring over it for a few days now, trying to 'fix' something with it." She brought a hand up to rub at her headgem. "Personally, I think she needs to step away from it. It just isn't right to be playing around in other people's lives like that."

Applejack raised an eyebrow, hearing a bit more of an edge in Rarity's tone than usual. "...yer on it, ain't ya?"

"Yes, and she won't tell me with whom!" Rarity's hands grasped her hair and pulled in frustration, face contorting in rage. "How am I supposed to plan out what I'm going to wear to my wedding if I don't know who I'm going to marry?!"

Applejack sighed, letting Rarity get the drama out of her system before speaking up again. "I think ya might be takin' this whole thing just a mite too serious, Rares."

"'Too serious'?" Rarity repeated in disbelief. "This is my fate we're talking about here, Applejack. It's how I'm going to be spending the rest of my life! It's one of the most important days in my life! It's—!"

"A bunch o' hogwash."

Rarity's tongue stumbled as she tripped over her words, making several sounds that couldn't have constituted any sort of language before she finally managed to get her mouth working again. "WHAT?!"

"I know it might be a might disrespectful to say, seein' as how our sisters are in charge o' it now, but... I ain't ever put much stock in 'fate'."

Rarity could only stare at Applejack, dumbfounded. "B-but what about your..." she hesitated, the old taboo creeping into her mind, even though it was obsolete by now. "...icon?"

Applejack flinched as well, but soldiered on. "I found it the same as anyone else, but... even if I hadn't, I don' think I'd be doin' anythin' else with mah life."

"Then how can you discount fate?"

Applejack sighed, mimicking Rarity's earlier pose as she rubbed her head. "Because it ain't fate that decided what I do, it's me." She paused, thinking a moment. "Lets say you never got yer icon... could you see yerself doin' anything other than makin' dresses and designs?"

Rarity scoffed, multiple times. "Of course not," she finally said. "I may not have know it was what I was meant to do with my life at the time, but I have always been a fashionista!" She cringed. "Even if my earlier designs... aren't something I'm particularly proud of..."

Applejack just smirked at that. "Sorta like how Ah've always been a farmer, Dash has always been an athlete, Shy has always loved animals, and Pinkie's..." she scrunched her face in concentration, looking for the appropriate words.

"'always been Pinkie Pie'?" Rarity offered with a smile.

Applejack had to chuckle at that, there was no other way to say it, really. "Eeyep. Point is, this is who we are, who we want to be, who we chose to be. Not what 'fate' decided we were; so yer sister sees the future, big deal. The future ain't set in stone, so don' worry none about tryin' to figure it out." She smiled, putting a hand on Rarity's shoulder. "Just do what you wanna do, and let everythin' else worry about itself, 'kay?"

Rarity couldn't help but smile, even as a bit of red seemed to work its way into her face. "I suppose you have a point there, Applejack." She gave a wistful sigh, a dreamy look on her face as the blush only deepened. "Still... it would be nice to know if it was who I'd want it to be..."

Applejack couldn't help but tense up a bit before forcing herself to relax. "And who might that be?"

Rarity wagged a finger in Applejack's face, her smile no longer quite reaching her eyes. "Ah ah ah, a lady is entitled to a few secrets, darling." She put her finger down. "Now, what was it that brought you here in the first place?"

Finally recalling that she was here for a reason of her own, AJ cleared her throat. "R-right, well, see, Apple Bloom's sweet on this one feller and wants to take dance lessons with him, but she can't find a dress that fits her right..."

Up in her room, it was all Sweetie Belle could do not to cackle maniacally as she drew a bright red line from her sister's name to one more on her grid, their future now all the more clear in her mind.

Author's Note

"Dance, puppets, dance!"
"Sweetie? Are you plotting up there?"
"No more than usual!"
"I suppose that's the best I can hope for."

Object to Opinion, by FoME

In a few months, Twilight had learned more from her new friends than she had in almost three years at one of the most prestigious preparatory academies in the nation. She reflected on how much more she still had to learn as she leaned against the Wondercolt statue, massaged her temples, and said, "You want me to what?"

Rainbow Dash groaned. "Look, it's simple! I just need you to act as my ambassador to the nerds."

"I'm still not sure what you even mean by that."

"The techies and I don't exactly move in a lot of the same circles, but I need them for this. Sunset refuses to help, and..." Dash trailed off, humming in thought. "Hey, could you do it?"

"Do what?"

Dash blinked. "Didn't I say?"

"No. You literally swooped in front of me as I walked out of CHS and asked me to, and I quote, 'translate from Awesome to Nerd.'"

"Oh. Whoops."

Twilight sighed. "I suppose I should be flattered by the implication that I speak the former."

"Whatever. Point is, I need to figure out who 123Only is."

Twilight waited for further data. When none proved forthcoming, she said, "One-two-three who now?"

"123Only, the single dumbest person on the Internet!"

"Rainbow, I've read the first few lines of Timecube. You're going to need to support that claim."

Dash threw her hands in the air. "He says that everything after the third Daring Do book is a bunch of garbage!"

Twilight went very still. Teal flames flickered to life from her eyes and headgem.

Dash took a careful step back. "Uh, Twilight? You okay?"

Twilight cracked her knuckles, savoring each pop. She followed suit with her neck, bending it so far to each side that only Pinkie might be able to match her. "We are going to find this fool. And we are going to explain all the myriad ways he—"

After a flash of gold, a similarly colored hand rested on Twilight's shoulder. "Is your blood sugar low or something?" said Sunset. "I can feel your rage pulsing through the leylines."

"You don't understand," said Twilight, unearthly undertones to her voice. "This is important. Someone is wrong on the Internet."

Sunset licked her fingertips and pressed them against Twilight's headgem, snuffing out the eldritch flames with a hiss. As she shook out her hand, she said. "How about we go to the mall, talk this out over lunch, and don't terrorize someone for having a different opinion than us?"

Dash gave a blurring nod, eyes still wide and spooked. "Sounds like a plan."

Twilight, eyes still aflame, sneered. "His retribution will not be—" A quick peck on the lips silenced her and sent her expression from vengeful to blissfully dopey. "Okay."

Sunset chuckled. "The day that stops working, we're all in trouble."

Author's Note

And in Fillydelphia, a young man named Quibble Pants couldn't help but feel that he'd narrowly avoided something terrible.

Queen of Monsters, by SaintAbsol

This year's Nightmare Night was looking significantly quieter than last year's.

No one had suddenly transformed into their costumes, no horror movie monsters suddenly came to life and required literal divine intervention to put down, and even the weather was behaving. It really did seem like it was going to be a relatively normal Nightmare Night for all.

Then the booming started.

At first, it was faint enough that people could convince themselves they weren't hearing it, or feeling the tremors lightly shaking the ground. However, that level of self-delusion didn't last long; the sounds and shakes of something large hitting the ground soon became too much to ignore. It was only a short time afterward that the source came into view; a towering, reptilian figure, looming over the houses around it. As far as kaiju went, it was actually pretty small, only about ten or so stories, but it was still far bigger than anything had any right to be.

As panic slowly started to settle in among the populace, the creature raised a claw up to its jaw, pulled down...

And revealed an entirely human face within its maw.

"Nightmare Night," the girl sang out, along with several other voices that only the most keen-eyed observers would find were coming from a few costumed girls riding on her shoulders. "Full of fright! Give us something sweet to bite!" The overlarge girl knelt down, letting the other girls climb down her arm to street level, a couple of pegasus aspects helping them along the way, before they all of them went about, holding out treat bags for candy.

"We're gonna have SOOOOO much candy by the time we're done!" Pinkie Pie shouted, bouncing excitedly on Applejack's shoulder as the giantess walked along the road.

"I know, right?" Rainbow Dash chuckled, giving the party girl a high five. "Told ya this was a good idea!"

Twilight frowned, adjusting her glasses. "You know, most people only go around their own neighborhoods."

"Most people don't have a friend who can walk between cities in one night."

That just made Twilight grumble, sitting down and sulking.

"Oh, don't be like that, Twilight," Rarity said, herself sitting against Applejack's neck. "Nightmare Night is meant to be good fun and nothing more."

"She's right, ya know," Applejack added as she pulled her costume's mouth down again. "'Sides, seems a shame to let a good outfit like this go to waste after she worked so hard on it."

"And, if you don't stop pouting like that, I'll snog you until you can't be in a bad mood," Sunset 'threatened'.

Twilight cracked a wry smirk at that. "Is that suppose to discourage or encourage?"

"Yes."

Twilight chuckled, a small smile finally upon her face again. "Fine, but I'm not going to be held responsible for the cavities you're all going to get."

Author's Note

Applejack's costume was inspired by this image. SA isn't sure about most of the others' costumes, but he says Twilight's in the ensemble she's wearing in the "Mad Twience" video.

Yes, I'm fully aware of the irony of linking to that in an update where both shorts involve Sunlight kisses.

Beside Herself, by SaintAbsol

Yet again, Applejack found herself standing in Carousel Boutique.

The bell over the door was starting to become very familiar to her ears, as was Rarity's greeting in response; however, this time, the bell had been met only with silence.

Now, AJ could only look around in confusion, slightly unnerved at how quiet and empty it felt to not hear Rarity's voice as soon as she came in. A quick check of the sign on the door confirmed the boutique was open, supposedly, but the owner should have been out by now. "Rares?" Applejack hesitantly called out, looking around the shop. "You around?" Her hands started to twitch, eyes darting left and right as her nerves started to get to her. "Pinkie and Dash didn't talk ya into a prank or nothin', did they?"

Still no response.

However, as she opened her mouth to call for Rarity once more, Applejack paused, tilting her head slightly as a sound reached her ear: voices.

It wasn't as easy as movies or books made it seem to follow faint voices to their source, but AJ managed it, the sounds becoming more distinct as she did. Her search eventually lead her to the boutique's back room, and had her placing her ear against the door.

"—on't work," that was Rarity's voice, she was sure of that much. "Not in the way you're suggesting, at least."

"Come now," that was... also Rarity's voice?

Applejack blinked in confusion; she could definitely say both voices had been Rarity's, but the second had been much haughtier than the first, like the times when Rarity had been at her worst and most selfish.

"You really need to stop fretting over what everyone else would say," the haughty Rarity voice continued. "What matters here most is what you want. And, after everything you've done, don't you deserve a little happiness?"

"Well, when you put it that way..."

"It's still selfish!"

Applejack nearly fell over in shock; that was a third voice that she could only call Rarity's, though this one was her when she was praising her friends or contemporaries. "What in the..." she muttered under her breath.

"There's more to consider in this situation than just your feelings," the newest voice added. "It's all well and good to want to be happy, but never when that happiness comes at the expense of someone else's own."

"Well, I suppose that's true too..."

"Nonsense," the haughty voice scoffed, in exactly the same manner as Rarity. "You don't even know if what we're talking about would lead to that in the first place."

"That's no reason to discount the idea," the kindly voice countered, managing to sound annoyed as well as benevolent. "Especially given the... sensitivity of what we're discussing."

A groan followed this, as well as a soft thump. "I thought you two were supposed to help with stumbling blocks like this, not make them worse."

Okay, that tore it. Applejack pulled her ear away from the door and barely turned the handle before almost literally bursting into the room. "What in Tartarus is going on in here?"

She wasn't sure what she'd expected to see upon entering, but it wasn't what she saw now. Rarity was there, yes, but so were two more Rarities, both about doll-sized and each seated on one of Rarity's shoulders.

One wore a simple, if rather elegant, gown similar to what one would have expected of a noblewoman in the ancient Roaman Empire. A pair of pure white wings were attached to her back by a harness of some sort, and headband held a halo on a wire over her head. A golden glow seemed to emanate from her as she stood there, staring wide-eyed at Applejack.

The other, however, was smirking at her. "Well then, isn't this quiet the... interesting development." This Rarity seemed to glow a faint red, with a devilish outfit to match the color. However, as AJ couldn't help but notice with a blush, her outfit seemed more themed after an adult-themed Nightmare Night party. She wore a shirt that exposed her midriff, a pair of pants that tightly hugged her curves, a spaded tail, a horned headband and a pitchfork to round out the ensemble.

Really, there was only one thing Applejack could say in response to this. "...what?"

Rarity gave a nervous giggle, nervously fiddling with one of her curls and unable to look directly at her friend. "W-well, you see... It's kind of a funny story, Applejack..."

Author's Note

Norm de Plume's As Horns and Halos Surround You is recommended reading for this snippet. And in general.

Pointed Fashion Statement, by FoME

Twilight liked consignment shops because they sometimes had fascinating historical curios. Sunset liked them because the spending habits of a dubiously documented legal minor died hard. Either way, they were spending the last Sunday of August in one in what Rainbow Dash had declared "the dorkiest date ever."

Having found nothing else of interest, Twilight found Sunset going through a rack of leather jackets. "You know, it just occurred to me, why do you even go clothes shopping anymore?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "I'm not Rarity, Twilight. I can't just look at a cloud or something and come up with amazing outfits for all seven of us that also perfectly match our skin tones."

"Okay, but then why not just co—"

Sunset cut Twilight off with a hand over her mouth. "I really don't think we should be discussing what I can or cannot do with goods while we're in a store."

"It was just hypothetical," Twilight huffed. She looked around, and even she could pick up on one or two people paying attention to them while trying not to look like it. "Though," she said, wringing her hands, "I suppose you have a point. But your outfits do seem to be made of magic."

"I do still buy clothes. I just tie them to my metaphysical identity so I can incarnate with them." Sunset smirked. "Heh. And if something disrupts my magic for some reason, it will just break the tie rather than make my clothes disappear."

Twilight felt her face break out in a burning flush. "I'm not thinking of ways to break your existential matrices."

The smirk widened. "Never said you were." Thankfully, Sunset then gave an appreciative "Ooh" and pulled one of the jackets, a sleeveless one that was more of a vest, off the rack. "What do you think of this one?"

Twilight bit her lip. "Uh... Well..."

"It's okay, Twilight. This isn't like when I would ask Flash if a pair of jeans made my butt look big just so I could watch him squirm." Sunset drooped and sighed.

Twilight cleared her throat.

Sunset rolled her eyes despite her returning grin. "Yeah, yeah. I'll put a quarter in the guilt jar when I get home. My point is, there are no wrong answers here. Tell me what you think!"

"I was just trying to find a good way to phrase it, but... don't you think the golden Spikes of Villainy are a bit much?"

"Huh?" Sunset turned the vest around to consider the big, yellow spikes studding the collar. "Those aren't spikes, they're, uh... friendship cones!"

"Friendship cones," Twilight echoed flatly.

"Yes." Sunset gave a sharp nod. "Those are definitely a thing in Equestria."

"You do realize I can verify that with P-Twilight?"

Sunset pouted. "Don't you trust me?"

"With my life. Not with friendship cones."

Sunset squirmed, one eyelid twitching as she hopped from foot to foot. She groaned and muttered, "Stupid Honesty." Louder, she said, "Fine, the truth is that I like leather jackets because they're a harmless way for me to feel like a bad girl, and this one is ridiculous enough to make it farcical while still giving me that safe little thrill."

Twilight gave Sunset a one-armed hug from the side, leaning her head against her girlfriend's so the gems in their foreheads almost touched. She ran a little power through hers, feeling Sunset shudder at the magic flowing so near her own gem. "Then it can be our little secret."

Sunset gave a happy sigh. "Thanks, Twilight."

"Awww."

"We should probably stop doing this kind of thing in public."

"Agreed."

Author's Note

Inspired by Sunset's... interesting choice in attire in the upcoming EqG web series.

And yes, Twilight has been around TV Tropes once or twice. Any close colleague of Mr. Discord ends up there at some point, if only to assure themselves that Bunny-Ears Lawyers still get the job done.

Merely a Setback, by Masterweaver

Pathetic.

Pathetic!

Pathetic mortal, linking back to his former friends, forced out of his frame. He was nothing without. Without the frame, without his friends.

Still... an anchor. Any anchor was enough. But they had shoved the frame out...

...out to the between.

Drifting.

Lost.

The strands of Fae surrounded the frame. It was not like the mortals, trapped by time. Without an anchor, it could crawl. It could move.

Ah...?

Ah!

A fractured world. Guarded, zealously, by light. Still, the light was young. Strong, but not spread out.

But aware.

It would have to be careful.

It twisted, slipping backwards, slipping forwards, sideways, until...

Ah.

Yes. Yes.

This would do.

This was the moment.

It entered, just as the world exploded.

It slithered into the shadows...

...the abandoned of this race.

Magic was real, proclaimed the light, even as the race changed.

And here... yes. Here. One who had forsaken the old light and would hate the new.

It was easy enough to bond.

A new anchor.

And this time, this time... this time, the frame would prove.

The frame would become.

Agents. There would be lost.

The frame knew to seek. Fallout from the future... and from the past. Power meant for light, gathered by darkness.

The Shadows would claim another.

Face Facts, by Masterweaver

"It's an aspect of infinity," he explained.

"This is going to be more cryptic bullshit, isn't it?" Coffee Swirl deadpanned.

"Not as such. I shall be direct, since nothing here is not known." The mysterious man looked up to the stars. "In an infinite multiverse, there will be repeats. Reflections. The songs of reality hitting the same note--coincidence, or otherwise. But never is a reflection exact.... Yours is closer to that of the belled sorcerer's, yes, because of the rend. But it would have had similarities regardless. All that the rend does is allow... echoes. The reflections to be clearer."

"That explains nothing."

"An example, then." The man produced a rose. "You know of the godling's young follower, and she—through coincidence or design, I cannot say—is a reflection of another in another realm. This other likes cookies, and the young follower does too. This other believes the best of everyone, and who can say that the one here does not? This other has a taste for the tools of lethality, and I do not doubt you have seen the one here touting her most interesting choice of defense."

Coffee Swirl snorted. "The big red scythe? Yeah, that's just ridiculous. So you're saying she's exactly like this other Ruby Rose."

"Not exactly. No reflection is perfect. That one has no chromelanin and so is sheet-pale, while this one sports a skin of the brightest pink. That one was training from early days to be a warrior of her world; this one has had better self-defense education but only set out as a defender recently. That one has a suffered a great loss in her past; here, though, both her parents yet live." The figure mused over the rose. "Were the world not fractured and remade, the two would have noted the similarity in name and some acts, yet still have lived different lives, been different people."

"Okay. But the world did get bungled up."

"They are yet different, but the cracks in the world mean that reality is shifting to closer reflect the realities around it. It is subtle, sometimes, and only works within the system presented, yet still... over there, she has the gift of speed, and here she was granted the gift of flight. The demons of shadow and bone that wander that world could not translate directly; the cursed monsters of angst look similar, but function so differently on the subtlest of levels. There was even one, one who could have been an interesting ally, who almost was in this fractured world." The man smiled grimly. "Yet her presence was too great a strain for the system that is, and so now she is a might have been that never came to pass."

His eyes rose as he made the rose vanish. "That, of course, is not the only reality that has influenced this one's healing. There are others, some of which you would recognize, some you would not. It is... similar to mimicking the construction of a nearby house, using the same wood to patch the holes in your own. The metaphor breaks down, of course, but yes... that is why there are so many interesting reflections."

There was silence for a moment.

"...I just said that the guy looked like a character from a TV show." Coffee Swirl quirked a brow. "I didn't ask for a multiversal lecture."

"Yet you received one. Not all gifts are expected."

Author's Note

"Hey Sunset, I found this one series online that—"

"I'm working with what the multiverse gives me, okay!?"

"... I was just going to say I think you'd like it."

(And yes, I'm going with this as the in-universe explanation for the crossover elements.)

Strong Yet Dependent Girl, by FoME

Crystal City had malls aplenty, but today Crystal Prep's top students were in one of Canterlot's. If asked, they'd insist they were slumming it, or going there ironically. Only Sugarcoat would admit that it seemed a more suitable location for what some might call a friendship problem.

"So let me get this straight," Lemon Zest said, sprawled around her backwards-facing chair. "You're still all about being the very best, like no one ever was."

Indigo Zap rolled her eyes. "Yes, Lemon."

"But you're also all about your alien abductress."

Indigo glared. "It's not like that!"

"She's not of this country or this world," said Sugarcoat. "She's an alien by every definition of the word."

"She didn't abduct me either! I'm the one who fell into her world. She took me in and kept me safe from things that are much more dangerous than she ever was."

Sour Sweet took one of Indigo's hands in her own, eyes shimmering with sympathy. "I understand, Indigo. I'd be lying if I said I never wanted to lock Second up and have total control over who he interacts with." Like flipping a switch, her expression became a surly scowl as she leaned back in her chair, hands behind her head. "But that's coming from me. It's called a warning sign."

Indgio saw her scowl and raised her a sneer. "You don't understand. None of you do. She's in the same situation I was; she's stuck in a world she doesn't understand, with rules she can't make sense of."

Sunny Flare quirked an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to be convincing us you don't have Stockhorn Syndrome?"

"Girls?" Everyone turned to Moondancer. She rarely said much in these gatherings, but they'd quickly learned it was worth listening to. "I think we should trust her."

"Seriously?" said Sunny.

"Seriously. Like Lemon and Sugar said, Winter Lights is more alien than any of us can even imagine. We can't expect to model her thought process accurately; for all we know, she really does love Indigo back in her own way. And..." Moondancer looked down and blushed. Sugarcoat, a little pink herself, squeezed one of her hands. "Speaking from experience, love makes you do crazy things. Especially when it's mixed with magic."

The others all went silent for a few moments.

"You do all realize this is sappier than Spurmont in the fall, right?"

"Shut up, Lemon," chorused everyone else. Including Indigo, who said it with a smile on her face.

Author's Note

The Shadowbolts are still trying to get a better grasp on this strange human emotion called friendship, much less the stranger one called love.

Definitive Proof, by FoME

Twilight sighed, a palm over her face. "Sunset..."

"What?" It was a shame Sunset wasn't in her demon form. Her smile would've fit perfectly. "I thought you'd appreciate it."

"I do, really, but—"

"I mean, even hinting about either one is enough to get you going."

Twilight sighed. "I'll admit you have a point there, but I was hoping we could resolve these misunderstandings through calm, rational discourse."

Sunset smirked. "Which is why you broke your keyboard last night on that one conspiracy forum."

Twilight glanced away. "Okay, maybe I went a little overboard." She rallied herself. "But this is not the answer!"

"I don't know about that," said Sunset, looking at her phone. "Pretty sure this going to be the most viewed picture on Immediagram."

On the screen, Sunset smiled for a selfie in front of a very stiff Amareican flag, the grey nightscape around her brightened by a blue orb in the sky.

"Hashtag not fake, hashtag not flat, hashtag no filter, hashtag no air... Did I forget anything?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Good taste?"

"Strictly overrated."

Author's Note

I'll be honest, this is the one photo opportunity that might get me to make an Instagram account.

Harsh but Fair, by FoME

Nagatha Harshwhinny had not been easily bored even before the world changed. Irritated, yes, but not bored. Having a fragment of her awareness gazing out into the unfathomable expanse of infinity so that she could accost any ne'er-do-wells trying to sneak into her universe made life all the more interesting.

That bit of herself drew on a bit more of her attention. While most of her continued to write a strongly worded opinion on the shameful lack of standards in sports officiation, another beheld the vastness of the metacosmos and the latest transient trying enter her home from its deeper reaches.

Nagatha felt her eyebrows rise as she took in the traveler. It appeared human, though all in shades of black and grey. Its skin was the color of slate, its hair an oily mass that slowly undulated under its own power. Vaporous extensions held it aloft like a sick parody of a pegasus aspect's wingbow, looking more like tendrils of fog or writhing snakes. Black leather hugged curves that suggested femininity, assuming the thing even had a gender. The only color was a splash of bile yellow in the irises of a half-dozen eyes arranged in a horizontal line across its face.

It raised a hand. "Hi, Ms. Harshwhinny!"

Nagatha sighed. "Honestly, Ditzy. What have you been doing out there?"

Ditzy shrugged. A few extra eyes lazily blinked in the oleaginous mass that was her hair. "Hey, I'm not the one who threw a bunch of shadow demon things out into the space between spaces."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were flying into them intentionally." Nagatha watched carefully. Extra eyes did nothing to help Ditzy hide the hints of her reaction from someone who'd been sussing out teenage secrets for longer than the girl had been alive. "Ditzy Doo, you utter fool."

"It's fine, really!"

"That's what they all say at first. I suppose you think the leather makes you look 'cool,'" said Nagatha, sneering so much with the last word that her upper lip nearly brushed her nose.

Ditzy looked away and twisted a stygian toe against the formless fundament. "Maybe."

"I expect better of you, young lady. You are far too intelligent and respectable to fall into the same trap I have seen claim so many others."

Ditzy was silent for a moment. "The trap of getting consumed by dark magics?"

"Your own pubescent confidence. You're mortal, Ditzy, same as all of us." Nagatha glanced behind her, where the universe shone with Sunset Shimmer's power. "Nearly all of us, anyway."

"It really doesn't seem so bad," said Ditzy. "I mean, most of these shadow things are used to working with people who feel useless and neglected. They're not sure how to deal with someone who's loved and unique."

"Be that as it may, get yourself in the decontamination booth."

"Yes, ma'am. That's why I flew into them." Ditzy walked to what looked to be a gilded shower stall. Her shadow writhed as she approached, making motions like it was trying to flee from her. A faint but distinct scream sounded as rainbow light cascaded over the girl.

A few moments later, Ditzy emerged in her usual outfit and appearance. She waved. "Thanks for caring, Ms. Harshwhinny."

Nagatha nodded and returned the wave. "Someone has to."

Author's Note

Thankfully, not every instance of Stygian's Shadow crawled backwards in time to plot ambiguously sinister plots. Some are just floating in Limbo, waiting for enterprising young worldwalkers to clean them in the harmony magic equivalent of a chemical shower.

Of course, there are some cosmetic effects to toting around that much shadow magic. Not letting it into your heart means there's that much more on your skin.

Like There's No Tomorrow, by FoME

"The present is strange. It is literally a moment, a duration of zero time, the tissue-thin separation between past and future. It is eternal yet ephemeral, constant yet ever-changing.

"Consider for a moment the concepts of velocity and acceleration. What are they? Velocity is a change in position over time, acceleration the change in that change over time. Note the key phrase there: 'Over time.' For the present, a thing of no time at all, both are just numbers.

"And then there how my own magic expresses my connection to the present. Air knows. I am intimately aware of everything touched by the atmosphere. I know precisely where I am on the planet. And with such precise knowledge of position, Haysenberg dictates that there is uncertainty of momentum, which is partly velocity, something that already has no meaning to the present.

"So in conclusion, no, officer. I don't know how fast I was going."

The policeman seemed less than impressed with Scootaloo's speech and handed her a ticket. "I do. You were going ninety-five on a fifty mile-per-hour road. And if you really can't tell, you shouldn't be behind the wheel."

"That's what I've been saying the whole time!" Sweetie Belle cried from the backseat, her hands still clinging to the cushions in a white-knuckle grip.

Scootaloo sighed as she took the ticket. "Yes, officer."

Silence stretched among the Crusaders for a few moments as the cop drove off. Apple Bloom broke it. "Told ya I should drive."

"Can it."

"All that talk 'bout total awareness and ya miss the cop."

"I said can it," Scootaloo snarled, restarting the car.

Sweetie groaned. "Could you at least put some airsick bags back here?"

"Maybe later." Scootaloo extended her stunted wingbow as she shifted the sedan into drive. The orange light bent, folding into the back of the driver's seat. A similar glow overtook the entire car. None of the girls could see them, but they knew wings like those of ancient messenger gods hovered over the center of each hubcap. Scootaloo's eyes glowed as the surface of the car became like a second skin. "Let's get going."

Apple Bloom shivered. "Still don't get how ya do that. Don't think the car does either."

To her earthen ears, the response came from both driver and vehicle. "I am the car."

Author's Note

This one's a few years in the future. Scootaloo isn't completely talking out her rear end when it comes to her magic; as far as it's concerned, she has always and will always be enthroned in the driver's seat. Also, credit to SaintAbsol for his contribution to the idea in the Discord chat with the completely indifferent traffic cop.

Young Dearie Simulator, by SaintAbsol

Apple Bloom hummed idly to herself as she walked through the halls of Canterlot High; for whatever reason, she was in a pretty good mood today. Or as much of a good mood a child could be while at school, at any rate; either way, she was smiling as she waved to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo while walking up to her locker. However, as she reached for her lock, her gaze turned elsewhere.

And managed to settle upon Tender Taps.

On its own, that wasn't anything too unusual, it was usually pretty good for Apple Bloom in fact. Today, however, was a bit different; while Tender Taps was the first person she noticed, she also became aware of Silver Spoon. Who was currently engaged in conversation with Tender Taps... a very animate conversation... involving a lot of smiling, laughing... and physical contact.

"Apple Bloom..."

She was vaguely aware of Sweetie Belle saying her name, but she wasn't really particularly concerned about it, given how she was currently occupied by glaring at Silver Spoon (and Tender Taps to a lesser extent) through the mob of students. A fire had been lit in her belly, and was slowly making its way through the rest of her body.

"Apple Bloom!"

That was Sweetie again, and she was ignored once more. The fire in her was growing to the point she started to recognize it: anger. She was angry, very angry; her mind wasn't really functioning properly as she focused on the two targets of her rage, only able to start planning several things to follow shorty after she—

"Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo shrieked. "Will you drop the psychotically possessive girlfriend thing for five seconds and focus!"

"WHAT?!" Apple Bloom bellowed right back, turning her ire toward Scootaloo.

Her pegasus aspect friend didn't even flinch, simply pointing back toward Apple Bloom's locker.

Or, rather, the crumpled and deformed locker door that Apple Bloom had managed to tear clean off its hinges.

She was suddenly acutely aware of how many people in the hall were staring at her. "Ah... uh..."

"Ahem." Vice Principle Luna seemed to have appeared out of nowhere as she stood behind Apple Bloom, looking decidedly unimpressed with the state of things. "Miss Apple, please put that down."

Apple Bloom visibly flinched as she set the twisted hunk of metal down on the floor, her face redder than her brother's.

"Thank you," Luna said, walking past her. "Meet me in my office; I will be there after I have located your grandmother."

Apple Bloom despondently sighed, trudging toward the offices. "Yes, Ma'am." She was already dreading both whatever punishment she got for destroying school property... and whatever Granny Smith was going to do to her afterward.

Author's Note

There's nothing going on between Tender and Silver, at least not for the purposes of this short. Apple Bloom is just as possessive of her not-my-boyfriend as she is her sister.

Vice Principal Luna, meanwhile, is canonically capable of Batman entrances. See Friendship Games.

Display of Protection, by SaintAbsol

The hooded figure ran through the back allies and side streets of Canterlot City, the bandana covering her nose and mouth while a pair of sunglasses hid her eyes. Ordinarily, the glasses also would have made running through the darkened streets at night difficult, if not dangerous, but she'd had more than enough practice to make it work.

Breathing a bit heavily from her run, she hoisted herself up onto the lid of a dumpster, the cans and bottles in her backpack clinking together as she did, and jumped to the side of a fire escape. She hauled herself up and over the railing and started to climb as quickly and quietly as she could, ducking under windows and staying as low as possible. When she finally reached the roof, she dashed across it and took a running jump from the edge across the next alley. Then another across the next, and even clearing a third as she continued to run.

However, her luck ran out on the fourth; the alley here was just a bit wider than the other three and, while she did make the leap, she landed awkwardly, and the weight of her backpack put her just off balance enough that she started to tip backward. Her arms flailed as she struggled to keep her balance, but she was past the point of saving it now; she started to tilt back further...

Only to be jerked forward as a hand grabbed the collar of her hoodie and pulled her onto the roof.

Sunset Shimmer sighed as she watched her regain her footing. "You're lucky I was looking for you when I did," she said. "That was too close."

Dusting herself off, the hooded figure looked at Sunset, expression unreadable due to her disguise. "Thanks," she said at last, her thick accent distorted a bit by the bandana. "Woulda been nothin' but street pizza if youse hadn't come along."

Sunset Shimmer smirked as she raised an eyebrow. "Wow, I almost believed that was genuine. How long did it take you to learn to talk like that, 'Flanksy'?"

She was silent for a bit longer before reaching and removing her accessories with a sigh. "A few months," Octavia said, her Trottingham accent back in place. "I was getting to the point I'd started to spawn imitators, and wanted to differentiate between my art and the 'tagging' of some random hooligans. Phone interviews were the easiest way to do that."

"I see," Sunset said, folding her arms and appraising her fellow student. "That being?"

"They are doing it to prove their own 'coolness'," she said, spitting out the last word like it tasted of a bitter lemon, "while I am simply trying to get people talking." She narrowed her eyes slightly at Sunset. "And I am not going to stop, if that is what you have come here to ask."

"Even after your near-death experience?"

Octavia did an admirable job of imitating Rarity's beatbox style of scoffing. "I have made that jump countless times before tonight. I did not get where I am by folding at the first sign of difficulty."

That got a chuckle out of Sunset. "No, I suppose not." She shook her head a bit, still smiling. "Anyway, I'm not here to ask you to stop. Rather, I was curious. How much would I have to pay you to get a... commission, let's call it."

Octavia blinked. "Come again?"

Rarity groaned, resisting the urge to either find a large tub or ice cream to drown her sorrows in, or go curl up in Applejack's arms until the problem at hand went away. However, she knew, knew all too well, that neither of those would do anything to fix the issue at hand. Prim Hemline had been counting on her to design something eye-catching for the storefront, and despite her monumental efforts and the input of her various friends, she had come up with precisely zero workable ideas. She had even considered asking her pony counterpart for help, but the elder Rarity had been occupied with her own workload and couldn't spare the time.

As such, with no real hope of fixing things in the scant amount of time left to her, Rarity continued to walk toward the shop, preparing herself to face the consequences of her failure like a big girl. However, as she approached her workplace, she became aware of the crowd that had gathered in front of her place of business, several of them with cellphones out and taking pictures. Eyes wide with shock and confusion, she had to pause to gather her wits for a moment before pushing her way through the crowd. "Excuse me, pardon me, let me through if you could, sorry."

Eventually, she managed to reach the front to get a good view at just what everyone was so interested in.

The front of the shop was now covered with vibrant colors; a diamond—modeled after the very same ones that where now hidden under her skirt no less—seemed to shimmer on the wall, a beam of light cascading down into it and splitting into a radiant rainbow that snaked about and around the windows of the shop. Even the displays themselves had been worked into the design, each boasting backdrops modeled after the various dresses within them.

And, in the corner of each, a heavily stylized 'F' marked the work of Flanksy.

"Hm." Rarity almost jumped as Prim Hemline walked out of the crowd, regarding the display with a critical eye. "A bit unorthodox," she finally declared, "but effective enough." She glanced at Rarity, her face impassive. "Adequately done, Rarity." And, with that, she walked off to attend to other matters.

"Thanks," Sunset said, watching from a nearby alley with Octavia. "I transferred the money to your account."

"You are quite welcome," Octavia replied with a smile. "And thank you as well." She turned to walk away, then hesitated. "You do promise not to tell anyone about me, right?"

"I promise," Sunset replied with a chuckle.

Octavia sighed in relief as she resume her walk. "Good. Vinyl would never let me hear the end of it if she found out."

Author's Note

Neither SaintAbsol nor I have read Exit Through Canterlot. We should probably correct that. Of course, this is based on the recent EqG short that used the same name for a roving street artist as much as it is that story.

Suspenders of Disbelief, by ArtieStroke and Masterweaver

(ArtieStroke)

"What could one man need so many belts for?"

Jace looked up from his drink, quirking his eyebrow at Cadence's question. "Pardon?"

Cadence gestured in his general direction, "Your belts. I swear there's a new decorative buckle every time we meet."

"We all have our hobbies," Luna said, swirling the pitch black liquor in her glass, "At least he has the wherewithal to not wear them all simultaneously."

There was a beat, and Jace looked off into the middle distance.

"Oh my Harmony, you're actually considering it."

"Nonsense, how would that even work? I'm not some sort of fantasy wizard or some such, I couldn't pull it off."

"If Bacon's students are any indication, it does seem like ridiculous amounts of belts and zippers are becoming vogue," Glimmer Goodwitch said, the table collectively amassing a number of frowning looks.

"Kids these days," Jace said, taking a gulp of his Shirish coffee.

(Masterweaver)

"It's a counter to clothing damage," explained the yellow-skinned blonde.

Ms. Goodwitch blinked. "Really."

"Wreck a shirt and it falls apart. Seams and all that. Belts are stronger and easy to rearrange or replace. Standardized zippers? Same basic principle." Sunny Little Dragon shrugged. "We are fighting critters with giant claws, after all. Best to be prepared."

"I suppose that makes some level of sense."

Sunny nodded. "Yeah, picked it up in Tauros." She glanced away. "Well, Belladonna did... I followed her lead."

Glimmer bit her lip. "Miss Dragon, you know there are plenty of people you can talk to—"

"I know. I have. I am." The teen sighed. "Just... It's not something you forget, you know?"

Glimmer Goodwitch nodded. "I know that feeling, yes."

Author's Note

Context: Card-game Jace's latest outfit is roughly half belts. Then Masterweaver did Masterweaver things.

Pretty Much All There is to Say on the Matter, by ArtieStroke and FoME

(ArtieStroke)

"All I'm saying is metafictional narrative is a popular device that's on the rise, and I think it's pretty cool!" Lemon said, clicking the next blue ==> link on her phone.

Sunny was less than impressed. "I still say it's an unnecessary stratification of complication- especially in that awful comic. It's like... it's complex just for the sake of complexity!"

"A, you're only allowed to call Habitrapped awful if you've been with it since 'Enter Name,'" Lemon said, holding up a finger, "And two, that's actually both the point and what the complexity is mocking! It's genius writing!"

"Ah yes, jokes about meteors bigger than 'your mom'. The absolute pinnacle of wit."

Lemon stuck her tongue out, "Whatever, you're just mad because you got the lamest new aspect-zodiac combination."

"I REFUSE to be identified as a LIGHT player simply because I have an expanded vocabulary!"

"Yeah- Heart is an awesome power, though."

(FoME)

The next table over, two girls with larger than normal perspectives on the universe and larger structures were suffering from more than the usual effects of talking to Lemon Zest.

"He shouldn't be right. He has no right to be right about any of this."

"He knew about the bubbles. How did he know about the bubbles!?"

Twilight couldn't help but smile. It was nice not to be the one pulling her hair out about some magical absurdity for once.

(ArtieStroke)

A young woman stands in a webcomic author's home office. Though it was only a few short years ago that she finally got that tiger and achieved godhood, it is only today that the circle of stupidity will complete itself as she confronts said author about his uncanny knowledge of universal laws. What is this young woman's na—?

"I don't have time for your shenanigans, Drew."

Alright, fine. The young woman's name is SUNSET SHIMMER and she is not a HAPPY GODDESS—

"I'm not a goddess either!"

Well jeeze, what do you want from me? I've got this whole metanarrative schtick, throw me a metaphorical bone.

"Just— Okay, fine. I've actually come here to offer you a job."

Nah.

"What do you mean 'nah'?!"

I've got comic deadlines. Hiatuses to prolong.

"You're like, one of TWO people with ANY knowledge on probability space!"

Haha holy shit I was that close to what it's actually called? Nah, sorry. Listen if at some point you need an expert on overly complex romantic states or needlessly complicated shenanigans I can provide a consultation fee but seriously if I don't get this game out soon the masses are gonna come with ropes and pitchforks, painting the town grey with unsealed face paint and flooding the streets with half-rate obscure soda brands.

"Alright, fine. That's better than nothing I guess."

Author's Note

The thing that most people don't realize is that Andrew Hussie is even more of a universal constant than John Cusack.

The Loyalist's Prayer, by Void Knight

"Oh glorious and awesome Rainbow Dash, Thou who art the pinnacle of coolness and the exemplar of radicalness, I bow in awe to you and humbly petition your blessings upon me this day..."

Flashing Blades rolled his eyes in familiar exasperation. Oh, he knew it wasn't really Awesome Sauce's fault. She was, after all, a paladin, and that meant she had to petition her divine patron for her daily ration of spells. But he'd met other paladins and clerics before, and most of them had been more... circumspect about their devotions.

"...may thy wings enfold me and thy strong arms uplift me..."

But then, that was how Awesome Sauce was. The young paladin wasn't pushy about her faith, exactly. She didn't press others to join her in the worship of Rainbow Dash or harangue those who paid their devotion to other deities. But, like many acolytes of Rainbow Dash, she was incredibly blatant in her own devotions, trumpeting (sometimes literally) her reverence for the Lady of Awesomeness.

"... lead me not into lameness, but deliver me from the boring ones..."

Flashing Blades rose to his feet and flourished one of his gleaming sabers in the direction of Little Treasure, flashing a rakish grin at her. His paramour rose to her own feet and extended one hand. Gray mist swirled around Treasure's before condensing into her pact weapon. Made of some unfamiliar mist-grey metal and with the Seven-Pupiled Eye stamped on both sides of the blade, the longspear was the symbol and seal of her pact with her eldritch patron: Ditzy, The Unheld Center.

The two stepped forward, and their weapons come together in a ringing series of clashes. Flashing Blades was the better of the two, of course. Where Treasure had to split her studies between physical practice and arcane experimentation, Blades was free to focus exclusively on honing his talents with his weapons. But Treasure was still good enough to give him a decent challenge, and at the end of their brief sparring session his heart was racing and he was feeling ready for the upcoming adventure.

As Flashing Blades sheathed his sabers and Treasure's pact blade puffed away into mist, Awesome Sauce came to the end of her recitation. "... For thine is the coolness, and the radicalness, and the awesomeness forever. Amen." As the paladin opened her eyes and rose from her knees, the light seemed to shatter around her head, briefly shading her hair all the colors of the rainbow.

Twilight Sparkle glared across the Oubliettes and Ogres table at Scootaloo. “For the last time, Scootaloo, just because I gave you roleplaying XP the first time you acted out your character praying for her spells doesn’t mean I’m going to do it again.”

The young pegasus-aspect responded with a shrug. “I know, it’s just fun. And it’s not like it takes that long.”

“Fine, whatever,” said Twilight. “Okay, everyone has their spells prepared and is ready to go, so you set off on the trail of the lizardling raiding party....”

Author's Note

I'll leave the identity of the other players under a spoiler; not sure if Void wants that out in the open.

Dinky and Pipsqueak; no points for guessing who's who. Also, I'm assuming that the Unheld Center is homebrewed rather than in the "Recent Additions" section of Deities & Demigods. On that note—and thanks to mastermenthe's request—here's one possible interpretation of the eldritch curiosity in question:

Ditzy Doo
Titles: The Watcher in the Void, the Unheld Center, She of the Seven Pupils
Adjective: Ditzian
Home: Unknown
Alignment: Neutral
Areas of Concern: The planes, interplanar travel, perception, hallucinations
Worshippers: Planar travelers, arcane scholars, mad prophets, aberrations
Cleric alignments: NG, LN, N, CN, NE
Domains: Knowledge, Luck, Madness, Travel, Void
Subdomains: Aeon, Dark Tapestry, Exploration, Imagination, Stars, Thought, Truth
Favored Weapon: Longspear
Symbol: Seven-pupiled eye
Sacred Animal: Horses and other equinoids, especially pegasi
Sacred colors: Silver, gold, color out of space

Those researchers of eldritch lore who have not yet descended into incoherent babbling consider Ditzy Doo to be the most benign of all the entities known as the Elder Gods. Indeed, her approachability, coherence, and identifying as a comprehensible gender make some scholars believe she may be misclassified as one of those dread beings. She claims to hail from beyond even the Abyss, which not even other gods have substantiated, and says that she wandered to the known multiverse out of curiosity. She finds the concept of divine magic entertainingly novel, and accepts worshippers with a somewhat sardonic air.

Ditzy teaches that expanding one's boundaries is the greatest good, and that the unknown is never as terrifying as the consequences of ignorance. However, her understanding of what mortal minds can withstand leaves something to be desired, and "going mad from the revelation" is listed as the most common reason one of her high priests has had to step down. (Some claim that it's actually a requirement to attain the position in the first place.) Beyond that, her teachings are few, believing that commands from on high might detrimentally impede her worshippers' personal journeys. Her favored weapon, the longspear, was extrapolated from one of these rare lessons: "When in doubt, poke it with a stick and see what happens."

Ditzy's moral and ethical stance is less "neutral" and more "not applicable." She doesn't seem to comprehend the concepts of good, evil, law, and chaos as most do, and whenever she tries, unpleasant things tend to happen to the Outer Planes. To the entire multiverse's relief, she has shelved the matter for now. This, more than anything, is why she doesn't grant power to those of extreme alignments, believing that the existential damage she might cause by doing so could prove catastrophic. (Ominously, her exact words on the matter were "That might destroy the multiverse before I'm through with it." It is statements like these that have kept even her most devoted petitioners from asking why she holds horses in such high regard. To their shame, they're afraid they might get an answer.)

Ditzy's physical form resembles a cross between a dragon, a squid, and an eye with the optic nerve still attached. Indeed, her "head," such as it is, is simply an enormous, seven-pupiled eye, from which her holy symbol derives. Aberrations, especially flumphs, revere her at least as often and as devoutly as humanoids.

Most other gods keep their distance from Ditzy Doo whenever possible, though Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle have passably pleasant relations with her, and Sunset Shimmer appreciates her efforts to leave the multiverse largely as she found it. Pinkie Pie claims she knows some truly amazing muffin recipes, and literally everyone else in the Great Beyond tries not to think about that. Nor are they willing to try any.

Sparrow Falls Unseen, by FoME

As Twilight and Sunset were cleaning the NAHTI one day, Twilight said, “So, I know you’re not exactly omniscient.”

“Not on this level. The full, universe-repairing Sunset kind of has to be just to know what needs fixing.”

“Right. But in terms of the infinitesimal fragment you use to interact with us mere mortals, how often do you watch me?”

After a few seconds, Sunset said, “Define ‘watch.’”

Twilight crossed her arms. “You really need to ask?”

“Okay, you need to understand, there’s a few more layers between the me you’re talking to and the me watching over the whole universe. I have…” Sunset’s hands flapped about amid several falsely started sentences. “It’s not really subconscious, more extraconscious.”

“What is?”

“It’s… not really keeping an eye on all my friends, more like a notification system when something goes really wrong. In case you can’t get in touch with me during an emergency.”

Twilight gave her a flat look. “We can literally pray to you, and you’ll hear it.”

“I like to be sure.” Sunset blushed. “Especially with you.”

Twilight felt her own cheeks heat. “So it’s only when something’s going wrong?”

“Yeah. Literally watching you guys all the time’s more than a little creepy.”

“So you didn’t see what I was doing in my room last night.”

Sunset blinked. “Well, no, but now you’ve got me curious. What were you doing last night?”

Twilight smirked. “Establishing the experiment.”

“Oh, come on, you can’t leave it off at that!” Sunset’s smile belied her tone.

The smirk widened. “Can’t I? Interesting. I appear to be doing just that.”

“I could ask Apple Bloom to look into it.”

“Yes, but what fun would that be?”

The two stared at each other for a few more moments before collapsing into giggles and each other’s arms.

Last night…

“Just take a point called z in the complex plane,
And let z_{1} = z^2 + C
And z_{2} = z_{1}^2 + C
And z_{3} = z_{2}^2 + C
And so on!”

Spike quirked at an eyebrow at Twilight’s continuing attempts to dance like her equine analogue. “Is this really for science?”

“Come on, Spike. When have I ever not done something for science?”

“You’re usually wearing more.”

“The underwear is a key part of the experiment.”

He rolled his eyes, walked in a circle a few times, and lay back down on his bed. “Whatever you say.”

Author's Note

If you can think of a better way to inaugurate the math tag, I'd like to hear it.

Decorating the Tree, by SaintAbsol

"Please help me!"

Applejack jumped away from the lockers she 'd been leaning against, nearly dropping her phone as Fluttershy suddenly latched onto her, the other girl wearing a hat to cover up the frail, gray locks that her hair had become with the continued approach of winter. "Wha—"

"Rarity!" Fluttershy interrupted, looking around nervously. "I-I appreciate what she's trying to do... but I just can't take all these wigs she keeps trying to give me anymore!"

Applejack blinked a few times, her mind still in a bit of shock. "O...kay?" she finally said. "Not sure what ya want me to do about it."

Fluttershy managed to give her a look that might have passed for incredulous. "Talk her out of it?"

Applejack just shook her head. "That ain't gonna be happenin'; when it comes to Rarity, ya gotta know when to fold'em. Now's one o' those times."

Fluttershy bit her lip as she looked around once again, sure that Rarity was getting closer as they talked. "Distract her and I'll increase your farm's produce by twenty percent!"

AJ started, staring at her friend. "You can do that?!"

"... Kinda?" Fluttershy rubbed at the back of her head, a few hairs falling out as she did. "I-I mean, I'll have to spend a few days as a tree again, so I can talk to them, a-and it's a bit too late for it to effect this year's crop..." she trailed off as Applejack raised her eyebrow, before just desperately grabbing the farm girl's shirt. "Just please help me!"

Applejack sighed, her posture slumping in defeat. "Okay. I'll buy ya a few minutes."

"Thank you!" Fluttershy hugged her with a surprising amount of strength for a non-earth aspect. "I'll make sure to—"

"There you are!" Rarity's slightly manic voice cut Fluttershy off as the fashionista rounded the corner, an unbalanced glint in her eyes as she stalked forward. "I've been working on some new designs and— MMPH!"

Now, it was Rarity's turn to get cut off as, without any preamble or pretense, Applejack simply walked up to her and gave her a kiss. The unicorn aspect was surprised for all of a second, before she nearly melted as she returned the display of affection. Several moments passed with the two of them kissing, before Applejack pulled away.

"Huh?" Rarity blinked hazily, as if she was just waking up. "What just..."

"Ya were actin' a bit loco," Applejack explained. "Figured I could shock ya outta it fer a little while like that." A quick glance confirmed to AJ that Fluttershy had taken the opportunity to flee, meaning her end of the bargain was complete. "Sorry."

Rarity gave a quite chuckle, giving Applejack a quick peck on the cheek. "Don't be, I most certainly am not." She smiled, before putting her finger to her chin in thought. "Now... what was I..." And, just like that, the spark of unhealthy inspiration was back once more. "Oh, right; now I remember. Oh Fluttershy~."

Applejack sighed as she watched Rarity run off to find their mutual friend once more, leaning back against the lockers as she had been previously. "Mah girlfriend is insane." She paused, then chuckled as she went back to her phone. "Then again, so's everyone else in this school, includin' me."

Ultra Sun, by FoME

Author's Note

I recommend reading Chapter 6 of Sunny Days and Pink Lemonade before this, though it isn't strictly necessary.

Ultra Sun, by FoME

A deep roar made the very foundations of Cardboard City tremble. An enormous azure saurian emerged from the bay. Water cascaded off of it as it shook its head, making the twin lengths of incongruous hair streaming down the sides of its head whip about and lay waste to the marina. The monster glared at the city without a hint of recognizing the place’s right to exist.

“Oh no!” cried a pink-skinned girl upon one of the city’s many rooftops, her words not quite syncing up with her mouth. “Sugarkaiju is attacking the city!”

The Sugarkaiju roared once more, though going by the intonation, it might have just been a put-upon sigh on the same scale as the beast. It marched forward, more out of obligation than malice.

The plucky young protagonist still stood proudly, going through an elaborate sequence of poses while flipping open a device on her wrist. “Come forth!” she cried, slamming a button on the device. “Sun-E-Flare!”

A robot rose from the depths of the earth, its composition as suspiciously rubbery as the Sugarkaiju. It performed some poses of its own, assuming a combat stance that would’ve looked ridiculous on anything less than ten stories tall.

“Go, Sun-E-Flare!” cried the robot’s handler, pointing as if anyone could miss the monster smashing buildings and questioning its life choices. “Use Rocket Punch!”

Sun-E-Flare thrust its arms forward, low-budget rocket exhaust blasting out of its wrists as its fists launched forward, wavering slightly as though dangling from fishing lines.

Low-budget or not, the results when the missiles struck the invader were undeniable. Sourceless pyrotechnics erupted from everywhere around the Sugarkaiju, consuming blocks of the city in thick smoke. When the cloud cleared away, nothing remained.

“Yosh!” The robot handler pumped her fist in triumph. “Once again, good is triumphant!”

Sun-E-Flare felt no such elation. How could it, when it was but the unfeeling puppet of the proud girl? When it had no feelings of its own in its cold fusion-powered heart? When—?

“I think that’s quite enough of that, don’t you?”

Sun-E-Flare could not blink. Its optical receptors had no need for such a function. But then the blue woman who stood taller even than the Sugarkaiju grabbed its head and pulled, revealing a young woman within the robot, who did stare agog at her.

“I won’t pretend I understand every detail of how you feel,” said the woman, headgem and hair twinkling with stars unknown to astronomy, “but I do know how it feels to pretend your heart isn’t breaking. Would you like to talk?”

Sunny Flare looked around. “Is this… What is this?”

“A dream. Your dream, specifically.” The woman looked around and raised an eyebrow. “I have to say, I’ve never seen such dedication to portraying low production values in one before. I’m not sure if that says more about you or Crystal Prep.”

Sunny placed where she’d seen the woman before. “Aren’t you Canterlot High’s vice principal?”

“I am, yes. According to Sunset Shimmer, my pony self is some kind of god-queen of dreams and the moon. I can’t claim that much authority, but I do try to lend a helping hand to those who are flagellating themselves with their subconsciouses.” The vice principal sat on one of the buildings, blue light reinforcing it as she did so. “So, again, care to talk?”

“Thank you, Ms.…”

“Call me Luna.”

“Ms. Luna. But this is… well, it’s not even my problem.” Sunny looked to the tiny representation of Lemon Zest, barking commands into her wrist communicator.

“If you insist.” Luna rose and began to fade from sight. “Just remember, Miss Flare; when your brain tries to tell you something, try to listen.”

Just Twilights Talking, by SaintAbsol

"What do you see in him?"

Princess Twilight, in the form of a unicorn aspect girl, blinked as she looked at her bespectacled human counterpart. "I'm sorry?"

"Flash Sentry," the naturally human Twilight clarified, nodding to the mentioned boy who was currently getting some drinks. Sunset Shimmer was over near a group of her religious followers, explaining (yet again) that she was on a date and didn't want to be worshiped at the moment (or ever, if possible) leaving the two Twilights by themselves. "I know you and he meet every time you make the time to pop over here, but I can't really figure out why."

Princess Twilight frowned at her counterpart. "Hey, Flash is a great guy."

"I'm not saying he's a bad one," the human Twilight conceded. "But, still... what do you see in him that makes him appealing to you in the romantic sense? I mean, you're not even the same species technically."

"Neither are you and Sunset."

The human Twilight flinched a bit. "Okay, point; that was a low blow and I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Princess Twilight replied, then glanced over at the topic of their discussion. "And... it's more what I don't see in him, really."

"I hope you're going to clarify that."

The Princess of Friendship sighed, rubbing at her current body's headgem. "Back home... I've always been kind of... isolated. First by my own interests making me avoid social settings in favor of spending my time in a library, then by the fact I'm naturally asocial, something I'm sure you know a lot about."

"Yeah..." H-Twilight had to adjust her glasses as one too many lonesome nights came to mind almost too quickly.

"Exactly. But, after that... well, I became apprenticed under Princess Celestia."

"It's still weird to hear that name and think she's some sort of deity instead of a principal," H-Twilight interrupted.

"It's weird to hear that she's a principal instead of a princess," P-Twilight countered with a smirk. "Anyway, after that, well, most ponies considered me unapproachable, given my rather 'unique' position. Any interaction with me was colored with how I technically had royal authority and—in their minds—I could completely destroy them or their livelihoods, either because of my own power or via a quick word to the princess. I would never have done that," she quickly added, as her counterpart opened her mouth, "but ponies still thought I would."

H-Twilight blinked. "O... kay. But, what does that have to do with Flash?"

"I'm getting to it, just bear with me. Anyway, it only got worse after I became an alicorn back home; suddenly, ponies were bowing to me and looking at me with authority that I, frankly, didn't feel I had or even necessarily deserved. If it wasn't for my friends, I probably would have gone back to being a total social recluse again.

"Then, Sunset Shimmer came and stole my crown to bring it here... um, you knew that, right?"

H-Twilight waved off her counterpart's concerns. "Sunset explained her history to me before we started dating,"

"Okay, good. Anyway, after I came here, I bumped into Flash. Heh," P-Twilight chuckled a bit, blushing slightly. "Literally bumped into him. A lot. I've noticed I don't have a lot of spatial awareness in this body."

"Might want to get that examined," H-Twilight deadpanned.

"Anyway," P-Twilight continued, "interacting with him was... strange, at first. It just felt different than interactions with my friends. I mean, I've had a few stallions and mares try to be my special somepony, but I always turned them down. Every time, they seemed to want something from me, either because I was in a position of power or because they wanted to date royalty. But with Flash, I never got that impression. I mean, he didn't even know I was a pony when we first met, much less a princess! I was just some slightly nerdy girl who wanted to try and win a popularity contest and liked to sing. For the first time in my life, I felt..."

"Normal," H-Twilight finished.

"Yeah, normal," P-Twilight agreed with a smile. "That's what I see in Flash: a chance to just be a normal girl with a crush."

"Sounds like how I feel when I'm around Sunset," H-Twilight admitted with a smirk. "I suppose I can see where you're coming from, then."

"Thanks."

"They're talking about us, you know," said Sunset, finally rid of her devotees for the moment and leaning against the edge of the smoothie booth.

Flash glanced over as he waited for the drink order and shrugged. "Yeah, I've seen them glance over here a few times. Figured we were the topic of conversation." He risked a glance of his own at the Twilights sitting on the bench nearby. "They seem to be in a good mood, at least, so I doubt it's anything bad."

"Yeah, true." Sunset was silent for a moment, before looking back at Flash. "You know, this whole thing between you and Princess Twilight..."

"It won't last," Flash interrupted her, his voice devoid of emotion.

Sunset merely raised an eyebrow. "You know?"

Flash chuckled a bit. "I may be the dumbest person on this double date, Sunset, but I'm not stupid. She and I have both talked about it a few times. Neither of us likes it, but neither of us can do much about it either. Twilight has her life, and I have mine; I can't ask her to give it up for me anymore than I can give up mine for her. We've just decided to let it run its course and enjoy the ride while it lasts. After that, well... I suppose I'll see if another girl comes along."

Sunset blinked. "That's... surprisingly mature, Flash."

He smiled at her as the smoothies finally arrived. "Nice to hear a compliment; you'd be surprised how rarely I get them."

Author's Note

And while we're on the topic of shipping...

Luminary Performance, by FoME

Sunset Shimmer manifested in the backyard, self-sculpted from the golden light of noon. She groaned the moment her body could. “I hope you appreciate how disturbing it is for me when you pray to me.”

Celestia stared down at her with unimpeachable dignity, as demonstrated by how her expression was enough to make Sunset’s mouth go dry even while wearing a big, floppy sunhat and dirt-stained overalls. “I hope you appreciate how disturbing it is when I stop and think about how not only is one of my students in charge of the entire universe, my pony analogue is an immortal sun goddess and philosopher-queen of the most prosperous nation in her world. To say nothing of my trying to coordinate a bunch of teenagers into a vigilante crime-fighting force.”

Sunset looked away and rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah, when you put it like that, it does kind of make my mommy issues pale in comparison.”

“Mommy issues?”

“Princess Celestia and I have… complicated history together. Incidentally, thanks for not being in a bikini this time around.”

Celestia smirked. “I do what I can. Now, as for the issue…” She gestured towards the backyard’s greenhouse with a hand trowel. “Like I said, I have a lot on my mind these days, and I decompress when I can. Like with my garden. Except that that’s experiencing some new issues.”

“Understandable,” Sunset said, turning to consider the greenhouse herself. “Earth pony magic most often expresses itself by affecting plant life. We don’t see it as often in this world, but there are plenty of cases.”

“Good to know I’m not alone. Honestly, I don’t think I’d mind as much if they could just be a bit more creative in their song selections.”

Sunset nodded for a few moments more before blinking and turning back to Celestia. “Wait, what?”

Equal confusion crossed Celestia’s face. “What did you think I was talking about?”

“I don’t know, soil depletion due to accelerated growth rates or something? What are you talking about?”

Celestia quirked an eyebrow and walked to the greenhouse. She opened the door, letting out a honey-rich voice crooning, “I got sunshi~ine on a cloudy day.”

“Doo doodoo, doo doodoo.”

Celestia shut the door and rolled her eyes. “Before this, it was ‘Here Comes the Sun.’ Before that, it was an a capella arrangement of the theme song from It’s Always Sunny in Fillydelphia. I get it. I’m sun-themed.” Her hair, shining with captured solar energy, lashed about in her agitation.

“Eh heh. Well, you know plants. They love the sun.”

This got a flat look. “I’ve noticed. How do I shut them up?”

“I’m… going to have to get back to you on that one. Earth magic wasn’t exactly the focus of my studies even in Equestria. Until then…” Sunset gave a sheepish grin. “Noise-cancelling headphones?”

Author's Note

Given their behavior in canon, it seems like a small leap. And Sunset might want to hurry on that research. Just because she hasn't heard of any other botanichoirs doesn't mean they aren't out there.

And it could be worse. At least none of them envy Celestia's gross incandescence. Yet.

Kaiju World Problems, by EonAon and SaintAbsol [Suggestive]

(EonAon)

Two girls waited for their friend at the Carousel Boutique. Jingling bells sounded her arrival. Rarity smiled and rose. "Ah, Applejack, good. We had hoped you could make it."

"Hey, Rares; hi, Twi. Rarity roped you into this too?"

"Well, she said she needed my help with some of the magic and material science and when she explained what she intended, it seemed like a very interesting project."

Applejack crossed her arms. "It ain't a dress, is it? 'Cause there is no way I can fight in a dress and heels, no matter what Rainbow Dash's animes say is possible. Heck, some weeks it's all I can do to keep a pair of jeans in one piece on the farm."

"No, not a dress, dearest. I realized quite early on, that anything that gives those dreadful monsters a way to grab you would be a detriment to your fights. But I did give thought to your modesty."

"Modesty?"

"Yes, your normal ensemble, while acceptably chic for daily life at Canterlot High... Well it, leaves quite a lot to be desired when fighting twenty-story tall monsters. I mean, so far, the only saving grace you seem to have is that you always wear boyshorts under your skirt."

"What does my underwear choice have to do with fightin' monsters!?"

"Well, boys being boys, they've been, ahem, taking snapshots."

"What!? Them no good lousy polecats—"

"Which is why I discussed a few alternatives with Twilight, options for something you can fight in that is a little more modest in some respects. I give to you, this."

"Rarity, I might be a simple country farmer—"

"A simple country farmer ho can effortlessly order my favorite half-sweet white mocha frappuccino for me without blinking."

"Point is, I know a catsuit when I see one."

"This is not a catsuit, Applejack, this is a unitard. One based on the designs of the current 'superheroes' that are popping up in Canterlot. I padded out certain areas to preserve modesty and Twilight helped design some enchantments that allow it to grow with you and not be gripped by outside forces. Twilight?"

"So, Applejack, as Rarity already said, it will grow as large as you can and stay as tough, but it also breaths like Anugyptian cotton. The feet and hands have been enchanted to help resist internal impact as well as being doubly reinforced."

"That's all well and dandy, but I believe you have one problem. How do I squeeze myself into that quick enough?"

"Ah, that's where this belt comes in. We thought about how hard it would be to get on and off, so we designed a teleportation array into the belt buckle. As long as you're wearing the belt, you can teleport the suit onto you."

"... Well, the apple embroidery on the suit and the apple etching on the belt do look nice."

(SaintAbsol)

Applejack tilted her head as a thought struck her, and she narrowed her eyes at Rarity. "Wait, are ya sure it's only the boys takin' pics up my skirt?"

Rarity's grin suddenly became strained as her fingers surreptitiously tapped together. "Wh-why whatever to you mean, dear?"

Applejack didn't need her connection to the concept of Honesty to see that her girlfriend was sweating bullets. She held out her hand, a flat expression on her face. "Lemme see yer phone, Rares."

Rarity nervously glanced around, between her girlfriend and the rather uncomfortable looking Twilight, before slumping. "I actually don't have it on me right now; I keep it in the back room when I'm working on designs so I don't get distracted. But... yes, it has quite a few images like what you're implying on it."

Applejack sighed, rubbing her head. "Yeah, I shoulda seen that comin', really." After a moment, a playful smirk spread about her face. "Y'know, though, if'n you wanna see stuff like that, you just have to ask."

Rarity, a blush coloring her face, giggled at that. "Oh my, how scandalous~."

"Okay, if this is what it's like being around me and Sunset when we get all 'lovey-dovey,'" said Twilight, complete with air quotes, "I'm starting to see why Rainbow Dash gets annoyed by it."

Author's Note

See here for what EonAon had in mind for the ~~catsuit~~ unitard.

Beloved by the Fates, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

Tender Taps looked about the empty classroom. "Gentlemen, I trust you know why I've called you here today."

Button Mash scratched his head. "Uh... should we?"

Tender rolled his eyes. "Fine. Rumble, I trust you know why I've called you here today."

Rumble shook his head. "Sorry, Tender, I'm as lost as Button."

After a deep breath, Tender began, "I have called you here today because the Hearts in Hands dance is this week and three of the nicest, cutest, craziest girls in school want us to take them to it."

Button's jaw dropped. "Zipporwhill has a crush on one of us?"

"What?" said Tender. "No. Who said anything about Zipporwhill?"

"Well, she's nice, she's cute."

"She still calls her dog a puppy even though I'm pretty sure it weighs more than she does at this point," added Rumble.

Button nodded. "Yeah, that."

Tender buried his face in his hands for a few moments. "No. Just no."

"Well, who did you..." Rumble trailed off, shaking his head. "No, you can't be serious."

Tender looked back up and nodded. "I am."

Button looked back and forth between the two of them. "Who?"

"Seriously?" said both of the other boys.

"What?"

"You've basically already gone on several dates with Sweetie Belle already," said Tender.

"I have?"

Rumble gave him a flat look. "You know those times you'd go out for pizza and she'd watch you play Skysedge for hours?"

"... That's a date!?"

Tender laid a hand on Button's shoulder. "Yes, Button. That is a date. You are dating her. And now she wants you to ask her out to the Hearts in Hands dance. Because you are dating her. Do I need to be any more clear?"

Button shook his head before frowning in thought. "Wait, what about you two?"

"Yeah, what about us two?" said Rumble. "You can't seriously think Scootaloo like likes me."

Tender smirked. "I never said it was Scootaloo."

"It's obviously not Apple Bloom. Even I've seen the way she looks at you. The girl turns almost as red as her big brother. Speaking of which, you do have a big brother to worry about."

"We've... spoken. Sort of. I did most of the talking."

Rumble snickered. "Yeah, I'm sure. How much of it was pleading for your life?"

"Most of it. Not the point. The point is that Scootaloo is as clueless as we are when it comes to dating stuff. Heck, so is Apple Bloom. I'm pretty sure the only reason Sweetie's so confident is because of her sister."

"So when she kissed me on the cheek..." Button's hand flew to the cheek in question. "Oh my Tree, she's kissed me! How did I not notice that?"

"Also because she knows she's dealing with a complete doof."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, Button," said Rumble, "but you are kind of a doof." Before any response, he turned back to Tender. "So, what are we supposed to do about this?"

"We really only have the one option, ask them to the dance. Otherwise, they're going to start focusing their crazy against us."

"Seriously?" said Rumble. "What makes you say that?"

Tender's eyes darted back and forth. "Definitely not blackmail from Sweetie Belle."

"What?" said Button.

"Don't know how to tell you this, Button," said Rumble, "but your girlfriend's kind of scary."

A "ta-da" fanfare rang out. Tender checked his phone. "'No, I'm not,'" he read out.

"Well, you heard her." Button nodded, as though that settled the matter.

Tender just stared at him for a few moments before shaking his head. "You really are perfect for her."

Rumble crossed his arms. "Okay, so we go to the dance with them. Assuming nothing goes wrong, and it will, what then?"

Tender shrugged. "Who knows? We might actually get dates with some of the cutest, nicest girls in our grade. They might realize we're not what they're looking for. Worst case scenario, we still go to a Pinkie Pie party."

"How are you so calm about all of this?" said Button.

Tender tapped the top hat-and-spotlight lapel pin attached to his collar. "I'm a performer. I'm just playing the role of a guy who actually knows something about girls."

Rumble raised an eyebrow. "And that works?"

"I haven't stuttered once this whole time. If that isn't a Harmony-sent miracle, i don't know what is."

(Masterweaver)

"...wait what."

"I mean, you're cute and athletic and charming and—"

"Not t' put too fine a point on it, Zipps, but while I don't have anythin' against the whole, y'know, girls and girls thing—mah sis is datin' a girl, after all—but mah barn door just don't swing that way."

"...Oh."

"...Look, I'm sorry. What if, like... I look around and see if there're any gals that could take ya out fer tha dance?"

"...Okay. Yeah. No, I... I'll... bye, I guess—"

"We still up fer, uh, vidyagames next week?"

"...Sure."

A Rare Pear, by SaintAbsol

"Applejack, dear, I know I said I would accompany you on this little excursion, being a good girlfriend and all, but could you please slow down!"

Applejack groaned, looking back at her girlfriend as Rarity took a moment to pull her skirt off a particularly sharp branch that had snagged it. "I told ya to not dress fancy fer this, Rarity."

Rarity finally managed to pull her skirt free and shot Applejack a flat look. "Applejack, you've seen far more of my wardrobe than anyone who isn't a blood relative of mine; can you honestly stand there and call what I'm wearing 'fancy'?"

Applejack visibly flinched, but shook her head. "No... but I'm just sayin', a simple pair o' jeans or shorts wouldn't kill ya."

"I have a reputation to maintain, Applejack!" Rarity actually looked horrified at the mere thought. "While you and what you do might be immune to any sort of gossip, even the smallest thing can completely ruin any chance I have. I can not afford to be anything less than the most fabulous girl in all of Canterlot if I am to have any chance of success."

"Okay, okay, sorry," Applejack gritted her teeth, trying to keep her cool. She loved Rarity, she really did, but that didn't change the fact they came from two very different worlds and their viewpoints often came into conflict with each other. "Just... let's just keep going. This is important." With that, Applejack turned and continued to march along one of the lesser traveled paths of the farm.

"You still haven't told me what 'this' actually is, dear," Rarity reminded her as the fashionista followed along. "Or why it involved coming so far out into your orchard. I didn't even know your family had this much acreage."

"Had to come out here cause it's somethin' you have to see, not somethin' I can just tell ya about," Applejack replied, pushing a branch up that Rarity couldn't have hoped to have lifted. "Anyway, we're nearly there. Just 'round the next bend."

Rarity almost made another comment, but decided to give her girlfriend the benefit of the doubt; while she wasn't one for the Apple family's various... 'quirks,' to use one of the politer terms she'd heard for the things they occasionally did, part of being in a relationship was learning to accept some aspects about your partner you didn't see eye to eye on and working on a compromise. Thankfully, she had managed to clear her schedule for the night, so she at least wouldn't be too far behind on her work.

Finally, as they pushed their way through one final bush, Applejack came to a stop and Rarity started as she looked at what she had been led to, silently staring for several minutes in dumbfounded confusion.

"Applejack... I don't... how did... this doesn't..." She finally gave an incredulous gesture at what was before her. "Even I know that trees aren't supposed to do this!"

It was true, in a way, the sight of two trees intertwined with each other, both in seemingly perfect health and undamaged, just wasn't something that happened naturally. Honestly, the fact that one of them was a pear tree on Sweet Apple Acres' soil almost didn't even register to Rarity.

"Eenope," Applejack drawled, a smile on her face. "Ah know they ain't, but these two did."

Rarity's jaw hung slack at the, frankly, very lackluster explanation of the sight before her. "Wha—"

"My ma and pa planted them," Applejack said levelly, her words silencing Rarity before she could speak. "When they got married, they didn' have no big or fancy party, just weren't who they were. They just had some friends and the mayor come by to do a quick little ceremony; they had rings, but the trees were the important part." Striding past her stunned girlfriend, Applejack gently placed a hand upon the trunk of the pear tree; she wasn't crying, but Rarity could just barely hear her voice cracking a bit. "Didn' even know my ma was a Pear until recently, none o' us did... found this place not long after that; and, well... ever since Big Macintosh brought Miss Cheerilee here, it just felt right to do the same... since, ya know... can't really introduce ya to 'em."

Applejack was silent as her vision blurred a bit, before she hastily wiped at her eyes. "Sorry 'bout that," she said. "And fer draggin' ya all the way out here fer this. We can head back, I'm sure ya got a lotta stuff ya still need to—"

Applejack was cut off as Rarity's pale white hand rested atop her own against her mother's tree. Looking to her side, she saw the unicorn aspect smiling softly at her, her own eyes a bit misty. "I think we can stay a little longer, dear. I wouldn't think to rush a meeting with my beloved's parents."

Applejack was silent a moment, then reached her free hand up to pull her hat down a bit to hide her eyes. "Thank you, Rarity..."

Rarity continued to smile, pointedly ignoring the lines of liquid she saw running down Applejack's cheeks. "My pleasure, Applejack."

Applied Film Theory, by FoME

“Alright, you two.” Rainbow Dash tried to march along the line like a drill instructor, but that didn’t work too well when the line consisted of two people. She kept up the glare, though. Those were clearly the properly cowed expressions, not the faces of two people struggling not to laugh at her. “I know everyone else couldn’t make it, but I have been looking forward to this movie for months, almost as much as Daring Do and the Artifacts of Altoriosa, and I don’t want you two ruining it. I’m going to be sitting next to you, so try not to spend the whole time sucking face.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. Respectfully. “We’ll try to contain ourselves.”

Twilight flushed. “We’re not that bad, are we?”

“I don’t think we are.”

Dash gave Sunset a flat look and pointed at the back of her own neck. “I can feel the air currents when you open up your little makeout time bubbles, you know.”

That broke Sunset’s smug demeanor nicely. “Who told—“ She cut herself off with a grimace. “Well, I did now.”

“And Scootaloo can feel it when you dilute time.”

“Dilate,” Twilight said automatically.

“Whatever,” said Dash. “All I ask is that you two keep it in your pants while we’re in the theater.”

Twilight frowned. “No offense, Rainbow, but we’re going to see Alien Angels vs. Space Pirates 3, not Citizen Cane.”

“Yeah, and this is the one where we changed the world midway through filming. They didn’t reshoot anything. I wanna see how they pulled it off, and I don’t want to have to tune out you two while I do it.”

“Fine,” huffed Sunset, hands on her hips. “You want to sit between us like a proper chaperone?”

Dash nodded. “That’s actually a good idea.”

“I was kidding.”

“Too bad.” Dash turned towards the theater. “Come on, let’s go get some decent seats.”

Pinkie bobbed from side to side to a tune only she could hear, still in her waitress uniform. Dash actually wasn’t sure if she was still on shift or not, and couldn’t bring herself to care. After a sip on her milkshake, Pinkie said, “So, how was the movie?”

Dash sighed. “Sunset and Twilight wouldn’t stop laughing the whole time.”

“Ooh, sounds like my kind of movie,” Pinkie said with a slightly wider grin.

“It’s not a comedy. It’s supposed to be this epic action blockbuster, but those two kept poking fun at everything it was getting wrong about science and magic and…” Dash groaned and brought her face against the table. “They got egghead all over the movie. And they just kept building off of each other.”

After a few moments—an eerie amount of silence from Pinkie Pie—she said, “So they egged each other on?”

“Not helping, Pinkie.”

Though your friends know otherwise, by Masterweaver

Author's Note

This is basically an epilogue to Blue Sunny Days and Pink Lemonade, hence the unusual chapter title. If you haven't read that yet, you'll want to before looking at this. Plus, it's cute.

Though your friends know otherwise, by Masterweaver

"Oh my mistress they're finally dating."

Sugarcoat quirked an eyebrow. "You swear on your mistress?"

"Well I'm not going to swear by any god, am I? They've failed me in the past." Indigo Zap crossed her arms. "Look, besides the point. Lemon and Sunny have just gotten together. I mean I kind of expected it to take longer."

"I have to admit it is so cute to see them together," Sour Sweet pointed out. "Even if we all saw it coming a mile away."

"Oh, no, I mean obviously it was going to happen, totally agree." Indigo shrugged. "It's just I kind of expected it would take till after they graduated for them to become a thing officially?"

"It could have been their siren friend pushing things together," Sugarcoat mused.

"Haha, no, we're actually terrible at romance," Sonata replied.

The girls all jumped, spinning around.

"Oh, hey, don't mind me. Just stalkin' my friends and their recently found love." Sonata snapped a picture of Lemon Zest and Sunny Flare as they laughed. "Like, actually hunting people is illegal these days, but I have to keep in form somehow."

Indigo nodded. "Yeah, that makes total sense. Any tips?"

Sour Sweet grabbed Sugarcoat and inched her away from the girl with finny ears. "Yeah, no, I think we shouldn't be taking those sorts of hints."

"You never know when it might come in handy."

Element 26, by SaintAbsol

Sunset sighed as she manifested at the animal shelter, not even bothering to try and appear dignified considering who had called her here.

"Hey Fluttershy," she said, waving to her friend tiredly.

"Oh," the yellow pegasus aspect started, her foot rubbing at the ground. "Um... is now a bad time?"

"Something else is just giving me trouble, and figuring out how it works is... really draining, even for me. Probably best I'm taking a break from it right now, honestly." Sunset stretched a bit, feeling her avatar's joints pop like they were stiff despite it having just been created. "Anyway, what's up?"

"Um... if you're sure..." Fluttershy turned and led Sunset into the area the animals were actually boarded. "I was hoping you could help me figure out what kind of animal something is."

Sunset blinked as she followed her friend. "You want me to identify an animal?"

"Well... I already know what just about every animal from Earth is," Fluttershy responded, stopping at one of the smaller kennels as she worked the lock on it. "But... well, that's all I know." While Sunset we left to ponder what that actually meant, Fluttershy held out her hand and beckoned whatever was inside to come to her.

What she eventually pulled out could only be described as a cross between a rat and a hedgehog. It was pure black in color, with white-tipped spines, pure white eyes that seemed to glow, and large, rabbit-like ears that were also tipped with spines. It looked at Sunset, its head tilting in curiosity.

"Do you know if this is some sort of Equestrian creature?"

Sunset just gaped, looking at the... whatever it actually was. "Well... I can tell you that it's not Equestrian..." She slowly reached her hand out toward the thing. "I'm not really sure wha—"

The creature in Fluttershy's arms suddenly vocalized, a strange sound that still held a melody to it. That it was singing wasn't much of a surprise, and even the fact she could feel a bit of magic in the singing was, although unusual, not entirely unheard of. What did shock Sunset, however, was how the magic felt; there was simply no mistaking magic that resonated with her own.

This creature, whatever it was, possessed actual Harmony magic within it.

A moment passed as the creature stopped its singing, with Sunset just gaping at it, before she finally managed to pull herself out of her stupor. "I need to talk to the Tree," she told Fluttershy, speaking almost as fast as Pinkie Pie could. "Now!" And, without waiting for a reply, Sunset's avatar vanished, off to a higher plane of existence.

And leaving one very confused pegasus aspect in her wake. "...what just happened?"

Author's Note

For those asking the same question, here you go:

Compatibility Issues, by SaintAbsol and FoME

(SaintAbsol)

"Ah, Miss Shimmer. So glad you could make it." Bright Idea smiled in what he hoped was a confident manner. While by no means a Shimmerist himself, the unicorn aspect did feel a sense of awe that he hadn't really been expecting upon seeing the ascended pony-turned-human. It wasn't even something she seemed to be doing, it just was; he was starting to see why so few of her worshipers actually listened to her insistence of not worshiping her.

"Not that hard," she said, her words snapping him out of his thought process. "Though I'm dividing my consciousness between here and a math test at school, so I'd like to get this over with quickly."

"Right, right," Bright Idea murmured as he turned away and lead her toward his work space, no pressure then. "Now, I've been dabbling in the more... practical aspects of magic, for lack of a better term, for some time now." His voice got a bit more steady and confident as he fell into the 'sales pitch' that he had practiced and rehearsed many a time before. "As you know, enchantments have been used almost since we started using magic, and they've been quite the boon to various aspects of life.

"However," he continued, finally moving a covered box into view. "I think there's more that can be done with it; and, what's more, I think I've managed to do it." He removed the cover form the box, revealing two small metal bars. "Would you please pick these up and tell me what you notice about them?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow, glancing at the two bars, before picking them both up at once. After a few moments, she looked back at Bright. "Well, this one," she moved her hand to indicate which one she meant, "is lighter. I'm guessing that has something to do with the magic I can feel in it."

"Exactly!" Bright Idea was grinning to a level that Sunset had only seen on Pinkie Pie before now. "I have, after so many tries, managed to make what I believe is a new branch of magic. You see, those bars are made of the same material, with the same dimensions. The reason one is is lighter is I was able to... infuse it with the elemental essence of the air itself!"

Sunset blinked several times, before looking back at the topic of their little discussion and raising an eyebrow. "Um... okay? Gonna have to admit, even coming from a world where magic's always been a thing, I'm not really sure I follow here."

Bright's grin never faltered as he moved toward the back of the workshop, forcing Sunset to follow him through piles of various electronic and mystical items. "I have to admit, even I'm struggling to fully understand a lot of what I'm doing or why some of it works. My processes are far from refined at the moment." He eventually stopped at a collection of four jars that held various colors of liquid within them; to Sunset's senses, each seem to be radiating various magical auras, including one that matched the feeling of the metal bar. "The process of distilling elemental essence alone is a chore," Bright continued. "It took me nearly six months to get even this amount, and that's not even counting how long it took me to work out the process in the first place.

"And the process of infusion itself... Well, suffice to say I'm very lucky a friend of mine is a barber who knows a spell for accelerating hair growth, otherwise my eyebrows would be gone still." He chuckled a bit, grabbing a jar and leading Sunset over to what could only be described as an altar of some sorts. Metal spires constructed from scrap metal loomed taller than either of them, and a strange cube sporting complex runic symbols that hurt even Sunset's eyes to look at too closely hovered in the center, supported in a magnetic field. Thick power cables snaked around the base and even more runes could be found there as well. "Took me ages to find the right combination so that the reactions were even remotely stable, and I still have the occasional catastrophic failure." Sunset's eyes wandered to scorch marks around the workshop as Bright placed the jar and another heavy bit of metal on the alter, started to feel slightly uneasy about the whole thing.

As Bright headed to a switch on the wall, his grin was definitely more 'Mad Scientist' than 'Overly Excited' by now. "Here's hoping this isn't one of those times!" And he threw the switch.

Sunset almost screamed though both her avatars, and the one still at CHS actually incinerated her pencil in a reflexive burst of power. The feeling she got when Bright Idea's machine started its process was just so utterly wrong that she was surprised that she hadn't felt it before. And, judging from the metaphysical distortions she was getting from her various other levels of consciousness, Magic didn't like it any better.

And, just as suddenly, the feeling was gone; she could still feel the trepidation of Magic, but the newly created material before her wasn't giving off any of the same feelings as the process of making it had.

"Well, that was lucky," Bright's voice cut into her thoughts, his grin more relaxed as he strolled forward. "For a second there, I was afraid it was going to bl—"

Bright Idea suddenly found his collar grabbed and himself dragged face to face with an angry goddess. "You are going to give me any and all of your notes and schematics so I can figure out how to fix this thing so it doesn't completely violate the whole concept of magic every time it's used," Sunset all but snarled, her power out and on display as this avatar morphed into something much more 'divine' than her usual appearance. "Do I make myself clear?"

And, like any sane man, Bright knew better than to argue. "Y-Yes, Goddess, of-of course!"

(FoME)

Twilight very carefully set the elemental infuser onto a stand in the NAHTI, then huffed out a deep breath. "I'm torn right now."

"How so?" said Sunset, not taking her eyes off the device.

Twilight licked two fingers and pinched out one of the tiny flames burning on the tips of Sunset's hair. "Easy there. On the one hand, I remember how it felt when that..." She directed her own glare at the infuser. "When that thing scraped against the edges of my soul."

Sunset's hand found Twilight's with neither looking. They squeezed as Sunset said, "But?"

"But this feels like the lightsabers all over again. I'm not at all comfortable with you swooping in and squashing someone's research, even if you do have a good reason for doing it."

"I'm not squashing the research; I'm perfecting it." Sunset finally tore her gaze from the infuser to offer a wry smile to Twilight. "You know, so we can get the benefits of this stuff without the soul scraping?"

"That would be nice, yes. But still, what will be the long-term consequences of you putting the fear of yourself into magical researchers? What if you cut off entirely safe avenues of research just because people are afraid of how you react?"

Sunset shrugged. "I can do a vlog on it. Make my position on the matter clear."

Twilight took a step back from Sunset, crossing her arms. "Vlogs are not the solution to all life's problems. Neither are knee-jerk reactions to minor existential threats."

"There's no such thing as a minor existential threat."

"This device might have felt off, but did it actually damage anything?"

Sunset just stared at Twilight for a moment. "Yes! It harmed you on a conceptual level. The way it currently works, it shouldn't be. Same reason twenty-four-hour news networks can give Applejack headaches, only times a million."

"Ahem." Both girls looked at the observation bay, where Mr. Discord was speaking into the microphone and smirking at the two of them. "Would now be a bad time to mention that I believe I understand what went wrong with this novel device? If you'd rather continue your lovers' quarrel for a bit, that's fine by me."

The two girls blushed. "Go ahead, Mr. Discord," said Twilight.

"Yeah, if I'm being honest, it's not like I'd have a lot of time to look into the thing," added Sunset.

"Splendid. How about the two of you go do something adorably twee together? I should have the infuser well in hand."

Twilight bit her lip in thought. "Want to go make fun of more movies with Rainbow Dash? We might get her to admit she enjoys it this time."

Sunset beamed. "Now that I'll always have time for."

Mr. Discord smiled as he watched them leave. The smile curved into a grin most wicked as he turned back to his test subject. "As for you, you're going to teach us all so much about what not to do with magic."

"Is that really necessary?" said Aria Blaze, whose turn it was to be Mr. Discord's "obligatory beautiful assistant" this week. "We both know you're not actually going to do anything interesting with it."

"No," he admitted, "but it is fun."

Author's Note

Here's a link to what SaintAbsol was referring to. No word on any higher prevalence of right angles around Bright Idea's lab, but given time...

Memento Morass, by Maran, Masterweaver, and FoME

(Maran)

“Singing plants, huh?” Twilight leaned against Sunset. “I would've loved to see that! Why did Principal Celestia want to turn them back to normal? She could have at least donated some of the plants to the university for the grad students to study.”

“Well, Pony Granny Smith was concerned about the sapience spreading to other plant species. She didn't think the world was ready for all the flora to join PAULDRONS.” Sunset shrugged her one shoulder that wasn't pressed against Twilight. “She didn't word it that way, but it was implied.”

“She's probably right,” said Twilight with a frown. “Still, talking plants! It's too bad Fluttershy missed them.”

Sunset leaned away and lightly slapped Twilight's arm. “Don't you dare plant that thought in her head! I don't want her to relapse!”

Her girlfriend giggled. “Plant it in her head!”

Sunset groaned. “Haven't I heard enough plant puns today?”

“Don't blame me. You said it.”

Before Sunset could retort, her magical book buzzed. She took it in her hands and it fell open to the page where Princess Twilight began her latest letter.

One of the perks of being a near-deity was gaining the ability to speed-read. In a few seconds, Sunset read and digested the message, but her emotions took several more seconds to catch up with her thoughts.

“Oh, no,” said Twilight with a grimace. “It's bad, isn't it. What is it this time?”

Sunset shook her head. “I guess it could be worse. I just don't want to defuse another magical ticking time bomb right now.”

“What do you mean, exactly?”

“You know how Star Swirl the Bearded sent the Dazzlings to this world? Well, it seems like his bad habit of using our world as a garbage disposal for evil magic rubbed off on his colleagues. It turns out Equestria's Clover the Clever came here a long time ago and buried a stone that can remove memories.”

Twilight raised her eyebrows. “Wow. It's easy to see how someone could abuse that kind of power.”

“Exactly. That's why I have to find it before someone else does.”

“Maybe someone already found it. I mean, how would we know? We wouldn't remember.”

“That's a possibility. But whether or not someone already has it, we have to find it and destroy it.” Sunset held up the book so Twilight could view the pages. “Princess Twilight says that Clover buried it in the center of this rock formation. Assuming Clover reacted to this world the same way I did the first time, he wouldn't have strayed far from the portal.”

Twilight tapped her chin. “The portal opened in the same place each time?”

Sunset nodded. “Mm-hm, where the pedestal is now. But I've never seen these rocks, so there may be something built over them already.”

“Well, if this Memory Stone still exists, it'll have a strong magical output, so it shouldn't be too difficult to track. I do have one question, though. Actually, I have many questions,” amended Twilight, “but first and foremost is, why did the other me wait until now to warn you about this?”

“She said she recently found Clover's scroll in an old chest in the back of the restricted section in Canterlot Public Library.”

Twilight's violet eyes lit up in a way that was most becoming. “Everything about that sounds amazing!”

Chuckling, Sunset sandwiched Twilight's hand in hers and patted it. “If you want, I'm sure I can arrange a visit after we take care of the Memory Stone.”

“It's a date. Or, uh, it would be if, you know—”

“I'll try not to be too jealous,” Sunset said with a wink.

(Masterweaver)

Wallflower scratched fervently at the hand around her neck, kicking and flailing against the wall as she desperately tried to get the attention of some, of any passersby.

"Hmmm." The woman tilted the stone in her hand, an amused smile on her face. "Quite the interesting bauble you've found, isn't it?"

The girl's brown eyes went wide as the eye carved into the stone glowed, and she screamed as something was torn from her.

"And you learned how to use it! Or at least, part of it." The blue-skinned woman laughed, a tinkling thing like icicles. "And what have you been using it for, hmm?"

The stone in her hand glowed, and Wallflower didn't understand why, but... but she didn't know what was going on. She was being attacked by—

"Oh, my. Reputation. That, now, that is childish. Such a waste of a beautiful bauble, and of such a cunning mind. No, this simply shall not do. Hmm, yes... yes, I do believe..."

The stone in her hand flashed agai

llflower blinked, shaking her head.

"Oh my goodness! Are you alright, dearie?"

A blue hand was thrust into her vision. She took it gratefully, pulling herself up with a groan. "Unnnngh. No, I... I have the worst headache." She blinked at the hand in her grip. She could have sworn it had four fingers, but now it looked to have five. "Wh...what happened?"

"I heard you groaning in this alleyway here... I'm quite afraid you'll have to figure out the rest on your own." The blue woman patted her down and gasped. "Oh your sweater!"

Wallflower looked at her sleeves and gasped at the large gashes. "Wha-what?! How did—?!"

"Don't panic. You're safe now. Just... try to remember what you can."

"I... I remember, I was... I was walking home from visiting some friends at Canterlot High, and.... and..." Wallflower trailed off, her eyes darting around. "I can't... I can't remember, I don't know, what happened to—where's my backpack?"

She looked around desperately, before her gaze landed on the green sack leaning against a trash can. "Oh no, no, nonono..."

The blue woman walked over, eyes filled with concern. "We should probably get you home, dearie. I... don't know who did this to you, or what they did, but... it's possible they might still be around."

"Oh Stars, you-you're right!" Wallflower groaned. "And they took my phone, Auntie Magenta is— The sky's not the right color. Oh no, how late am I?!"

"I happen to have a motorbike right out here. I can get you to your place as swiftly as possible, and you can contact the police when you get there."

"Oh, would you?! That, that, just, thank you ma'am." Wallflowers shut her backpack up and slung it on. "I, this... this is scary, I don't even know what happened..."

"Well, I promise to get you home safely. Come on." The blue woman took her hand gently. "You look like you need a good night's rest."

Wallflower followed after her with little hesitation. Something seemed... strange, about this woman. Something she couldn't quite...

...she was probably just being paranoid. She'd just been... attacked, somehow, after all.

A few minutes later she found herself being gently guided into her own home, the woman explaining everything she knew to her terrified aunt. Of course they called the police, of course a report was filed, of course they were assured that, that whoever it was would be caught.... She wasn't quite relaxed, but... but she felt safer here. In her own bed.

She grasped the covers, trembling, and fell into a nervous slumber.

"A cunning mind indeed." Winter Lights smiled at the stone in her hand, summoning forth one stream of images after another. "And yet... a mind is of course only as good as its memories, and glamours make memories so easy to manufacture."

She glanced at the half-darkened moon. "I've one agent in your court, shadowed one. Very soon, I shall have another... it only takes time, after all. Still, best to keep this out of sight of the godling." She pulled out a hand mirror and dropped the stone into it, chuckling to herself. "And four shall be five, soon."

(FoME)

Niv-Mizzet smiled to himself, staring at a corner of his office. He did that a lot these days, and almost never for a reason that anyone else could discern. "Do you know what one of my favorite things in the world is, Jace?"

"There are a lot of answers to that question, sir," said Jace Beleren, who had only just walked into the principal's office and wasn't even facing him. "However, I get the feeling that none of the ones I can think of are what you have in mind."

"There is a roughly eighty-six percent chance you correct. What I had in mind was when your opponents believe they're playing chess with one another, only for you to sink both their aircraft carriers, wipe out their SCVs, and capture the Golden Snitch, all in a single move."

"That was roughly my ninth guess, sir, though without the mixed metaphors."

"And that is why you are merely vice principal." Niv-Mizzet gave a dismissive wave. "Leave those files on my desk, and enjoy your night out. Be sure to give my fondest regards to Luna."

Jace raised an eyebrow, but shrugged and left the files on Niv's desk. "As you say, sir."

"Yes." Niv's smile didn't shift a millimeter. "As I say."

Unbeknownst to either man, an orange girl in Canterlot groaned in disgust.

And about twenty minutes after going to sleep, the much-abused psychic shell dissolved, and Wallflower's slumber became much easier.

Unwoven, by Masterweaver

"Mrrrrngh." Scootaloo grabbed her head. "Who the heck is Wallflower Blush anyway?"

"Wallflower? Uh..." Apple Bloom frowned. "I... think she used to be a student here? Gardenin' club, maybe... What's the problem?"

"You know how I get visions of weird whateverhaps going on all the time? Conspiracies without context and all that?"

"Yeah?"

"Wallflower's been mentioned by, like, five or six separate secret societies. I don't even think they're aware of each other, it's just that she's 'an important pawn' in all their machinations."

"Huh." Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "Why?"

"Hell if I know," Scootaloo groused. "Maybe it's something to do with her past."

"Let's see..." Apple Bloom focused inwardly for a moment. "...hmm. That's... odd."

"What?"

"I'm lookin' fer what Wallflower did after the saturation, and all I'm gettin' is this... vague impression in other people's lives. Like, I can see her clearest with her family, and she's sorta there in the background for most o' school... I'm not one t' violate privacy, but I'd've thought I'd have gotten more with this."

"Well, if the past can't be trusted," Sweetie replied, "perhaps a glimpse of the future might be useful. If she's involved in so many conspiracies, she's got to be im... portant..."

A frown crossed her face.

"...what is it?" Scootaloo asked.

"Right, so, you know how the future is always in flux?" Sweetie bit her lip. "There are different... sources of flux. Like the further ahead I look, the vaguer everything is, that's just standard, but with crazier people like Pinkie or Discord it's more vague, and with powerful people like the president it's less vague. Thing is, I've never seen anyone with a future quite so hazy as Wallflower's." She frowned. "Heck, the only reason I know it's Wallflower is because I set myself to look at her, I can't even see her in this storm of possibility."

There was a pause.

"Summin' up. Can't see her past, attention of lots o' conspiracies in the present, and no damn clue 'bout her future." Apple Bloom nodded firmly. "Yeah, we need t' bring this up t' Sunset ASAP."

"Very well, let me summon the most powerful being in our universe." Scootaloo leaned away from the table and cupped her hands around her mouth. "OI! SUNSET! GET OVER HERE!"

"Yeah, yeah." Sunset got up, somehow making a show of casually walking across the cafeteria like an ordinary student. "What's up, girls?"

"Wallflower Blush," Apple Bloom said flatly. "None of us can get any sorta read on her. Which, given what we do, kind of a warnin' sign."

Sunset cupped her chin. "Wallflower Blush... hmm. Noooot sure I've heard of her—"

"That's sorta the whole problem."

"Alright, give me a minute." Sunset shut her eyes, glimmers of light pouring from the crack between her eyelids.

Seven minutes later, the girls were still staring at her.

"Uh..." Scootaloo glanced at the clock. "Is this going to take much longer? Lunch is over in a few minutes."

"Hold, hold on, I think.... Aha, that's it! Oh. Oh wow, that's..." Sunset shook her head, finally opening her eyes. "Wallflower's had an incredible stroke of luck, but I'm not sure if it's good or bad."

"How do y' mean?"

"Most Earth-side magic was inert for the thousand plus years between the Siren's arrival and my own, but..." Sunset rolled a hand. "Well, there were small things. The marks, chromelanin, an occasional 'witch.' Wallflower, if I understand it, was randomly selected by Magic to be outside fate."

There was a pause.

"...Outside fate? Like—"

"Like there's this concept of destiny that's a thousand gears whirring along to one path, and Wallflower is... either the engineer or the wrench in the works. She's meant to get caught up in things too big to stop, so she can cause them to swerve. But at the same time, how she does it is up to her. The job comes with perks, like being hard to track in a number of ways..."

"So," Sweetie Belle mused, "should we tell her about—?"

"No. Definitely not. Wallflower's got her own path to walk. Telling her would just influence her, and she's supposed to be outside our influence." Sunset shook her head. "Didn't even know this was a thing, though... I wonder how many other fatebenders there are? Magic's not talking."

Author's Note

"I really should get documentation for this. Hey, Twilight! Tell your higher self to write some of this stuff down!"

"We're on Chapter 27!"

"Good to know!"

Coerced Confession, by FoME

Author's Note

You'll probably want to read User Not Recognized before this if you haven't already.

Relatively spoiler-free summary for those who choose not to: Wallflower discovers that she's invisible to technology and transfers to Ravnica High, where they can better show her how to deal with a very unusual form of magic. She makes fast friends with White Hat, a member of the hacking club who's more than a little starved for social interaction given how most of her peers have no idea how to even talk to girls, much less recognize when one's interested in them.

Coerced Confession, by FoME

White Hat was a lot less vocal about her personal life after the tour of Ravnica High. She'd answer Wallflower's questions about herself, but always in roundabout, evasive ways that contained barely any actual information. It all came back to what White had told Wallflower the day they'd met: The only weapon more powerful than information was control of that information, and White refused to be disarmed again.

Wallflower, on the other hand, refused to put up with White's cryptic bullcrap any more than she had to. The summer lessons with Lazav were making it clear that she'd be dealing with a lot of it now, and her patience for such things was limited. But Wallflower had ways of making White talk.

Tears streamed down White's face. "You're a cruel girl, Blush," she said. "I don't know if you were always this twisted or if I did it to you, but you're a cruel girl."

Wallflower smirked at her. "You know how to make it stop, Miss Hat."

"You're a monster, you know that?"

"I am merely curious. And you will tell me what I want to know."

White's fists shook. Her lips pressed against each other. Finally, she lunged at Wallflower with a screeching battle cry.

Through a blend of slightly greater height and maneuvering around the tree in Canterlot Park where they'd been sitting, Wallflower kept the cupcake out of reach.

"You did this to me!" cried White. "You dragged me to the most amazing bakery I've ever been to just so you could get me hooked and milk me for information! I'd be proud if I didn't hate it so much!"

"Quid pro quo, White," Wallfower said in a singsong voice. "Tell me what I want to know, and the Chocotastic Special is yours."

White said nothing, looking away.

"Well?"

White crossed her arms. "I may have been so focused on the cupcake that I don't actually recall the question."

Wallflower betrayed none of her amusement. She'd been on the other end of too many awkward moments to hurt White like that. "I just want to know what happened when you tried to ask out Dovri."

"Ugh. Fine." White thrust a finger at Wallflower. "Don't get any ideas, mind you. Even if I never do penetrate that thick skull of his, I called dibs!"

Wallflower shrugged, moving a step away from the finger nearly brushing her nose. "He's not really my type, anyway."

White rolled her eyes. "Yeah, your type makes your brain melt just by looking at you."

"If you don't want the cupcake—"

"Okay, okay!" After a deep breath, White said, "So. I sent him an anonymous email with an attachment that had a nonexistent file extension. If he had just opened it with a code editor, reversed the resulting character string, removed every prime-numbered character, converted the result to ASCII binary, rendered the bits as a QR code, and scanned it, he'd get a 404 error because the URL would be 'Want to do something this weekend? White.' Literally could not be more straightforward, but he still didn't say anything. Now gimme the cupcake."

Wallflower didn't hand it over, but her grip got loose enough in her confusion that White snatched it out of her hands. "Uh, I'm not exactly speaking from experience, but have you tried just asking him? By... speaking to him?"

White, cheeks smudged with icing, balked at the idea. "I don't want to seem like I'm desperate!"

Situation Normal: All Feathered Up, by Whiteeyes

"You know," Twilight said as she lounged on the couch with her girlfriend and watched the news, "If I had been told that magic was going to make some bird species intelligent enough to be recognized as sophonts—and, you know, that magic was a real, demonstrable, and testable phenomenon—I would have guessed it would just be ravens and parrots."

"Really?" Sunset asked, actually managing to sound interested. "I have to ask, why you'd have put your money there?"

Twilight shot her a look. "Have you read what scientists found out about them from before the shift? Ravens were already clever tool users capable of vocally passing on knowledge to not only other members of their groups, which by the way operate on established social structures that have social consequences when broken, but to other groups of ravens around them who can then pass it on to other groups. Heck, one guy who routinely harassed ravens as part of an old experiment to see if they could learn facial recognition learned that they did the hard way. When he went to set off two unkindnesses dozens of miles away to do the experiment's second run, they attacked him on sight because they already had a description of the guy from the other ravens. And parrots could learn, understand, and communicate in other languages. Some grey parrots even showed the ability to make jokes, and again, this was before magic!"

"Huh," Sunset said as she processed this. "And you're sure they weren't intelligent enough to be recognized as sophonts before the saturation?" There were a few moments of uncomfortable silence. "We'll call PAULDRONS in the morning, make sure there aren't any lingering issues."

"Agreed." Twilight said, going back to watching. "Still, I can't believe emu of all birds get a brain boost via magic."

"What I can't believe," Sunset said, gesturing at the screen where Blackfeather Kicked-a-Dingo was giving his address, "is that he's demanding the 'territory conceded to his ancestors after winning the war' that was 'stolen in a brutal terror campaign' afterwards. I mean, that has to be some sort of misremembered thing from before they became intelligent enough to understand stuff right?"

Twilight suddenly had a very nervous look on her face. "Hahaha, funny story about that actually..."

Three years later, and with only one intervention by Sunset to prevent an outbreak of war from the actions of extremists of both species, Dromaia was recognized as the official second nation upon continental Australia.

Author's Note

~~Not sure where Whiteeyes is going with the land owed to emu, but~~ here's a case of real world experimentation with corvid facial recognition.

Never mind that first part. DragonGeek informed me of the Great Emu War.

Muster the Precinct, by Void Knight

The gym was packed with students. They had a good mix of all the major aspects, a remarkable number of griffin-aspects (even for Ravnica High, which had manifested a disproportionate number of them,) and even a good sampling of the rarer ones. Both men and women were well-represented, and the students supported a wide variety of attire. They only had three things in common. They were almost all seniors, with only a smattering of juniors. They were almost all physically fit. And finally, almost all of them wore, somewhere on their person, a small pin similar to an icon pin, showing the signet of a clenched fist surrounded by a sunburst.

Near the front of the gym, two figures stood. One was a pegaus-aspect woman with bright red hair and pale golden skin. Everyone in the gym knew her. She was Coach Aurelia, who in addition to her duties as one of the general PE instructors taught the martial arts club and was the closest thing the Boros guild had to a faculty advisor.

“May I have your attention, please?” said Coach Aurelia into the microphone. The handful of background conversations died down, and every eye turned to focus on her.

“Thank you. Now, you are all here because you think you might be interested in serving in the police. Either that or you’ve got your schedules mixed up and you thought this was criffleball practice.”

There was a murmur of laughter, and Aurelia continued. “Luckily for you, today’s special guest is uniquely suited to answer your questions. Please join me in welcoming a graduate member of this very guild, Officer Gideon Jura!”

There was an explosion of applause, and Gideon stepped forward. He proved to be an earth-aspect in his mid-twenties, with glossy black hair, bright green eyes, and skin several shades darker than Aurelia’s, closer to bronze than gold. “Thank you, Thank you,” he said. “As Coach Aurelia said, I used to be exactly where you are right now. Well, maybe not exactly. The world’s changed a bit since I graduated, in case you hadn’t realized.” There was another murmur of laughter. “And that’s exactly why I asked to be here today. The world has changed dramatically. Magic has created all manner of new hazards and new ways to commit crime. It’s going to take a new generation of police officers to keep the public safe. I know you can be that new generation. I was Boros, and so I know that if you want to, you can be the next generation of guardians of the people. Are you willing to take up that challenge?”

“YES!” bellowed the assembled Boros.

“Glad to hear it!” said Gideon with a broad smile. “Now, the minimum age for admission to the police academy is twenty-one, so you’ve got a little time to get your life in order before you try out. You only need a high school diploma, and I’m sure nobody here is going to flunk their classes…”

Author's Note

Don't mind us; still working the Ravnica high out of our systems. :trollestia:

No More Yielding, by Void Knight and FoME

Author's Note

Reading Swirled before this is very strongly recommended

No More Yielding, by Void Knight and FoME

(Void Knight)

It is a good day. The skripinagas are singing, and I am trying to copy down their songs. It isn’t going very well. The skripinagas sing too quickly, and never the same song twice, and I am not very good at writing sound anyway. I have read a book about it that the nice ones let me have, but I have had little time to practice. But I still get to hear the skripinagas sing, even if I can’t share that song with anyone else.

Something changes. I hear a new voice sing, clear and beautiful. The skiripinagas fall silent. They recognize the song of a carba, just as I do. The carba itself shows up a moment later. Its eyes shine white in the black of its face, and the tips of its spines seem to glow. The carba sings again. There are no words to its song, not the kind of words that the flippy girl listens to, but I understand what it means.

“Of course,” I reply. “Just a moment.”

I put my paper and pencil away, lie down on my bed, and then slip out of my body. It will sleep, and the nice ones will think I am still in it. As long as I get back in it in time, it should be alright. I hope it will be alright. It’s a very good body.

The carba sings again, and bounds off through the wall. I follow it. I see shalderai swoozing by on either side of me, but the carba is leaving footprints of light behind it, and as long as I stay in those they don’t dare touch me.

And then we are elsewhere. We have gone a very long way, because it is night here. We are standing outside a small house. Nargles flit here and there, sparkling under moonlight. And there are snorkacks browsing in the yard, several of them. A good sign. Snorkacks don’t stay near people who are not nice if they can help it. And neither do flumphs, and I can see a whole colony of those in the woods on the other side of the yard.

The carba leaps up again, and I follow after it. There are certain advantages to not wearing your body. I could never make that jump while I was in it. We pass through a window, and land in a bedroom. There is a girl there, lying in her bed but still awake. She is pretty, I think. She has pale skin like the bright one, the elder of the two that kept my song for me. Her hair is almost the same shade, and her eyes are shiny, like silver. She sits up, and I see a hint of feathers at the back of her neck.

“Hello?” she asks.

“Hello,” I reply. “The carba brought me here. It told me you wish to see what others don’t?”

Her face twists, and a glindell pokes itself out of the wall in anticipation.

“Yes,” she says. “I’ve always wanted to dream, to believe, to wonder. I wanted magic to be real. And now everyone’s saying that magic is real, but it’s not what I wanted. I wanted something to marvel at, and I got more of the normal.”

I nod and smile. “I can give you marvels, but there will be a price to pay. What you see, no one else will see, and there will be those who cannot understand that. That is why I do not give this sight to everyone.”

“My father will understand,” said the girl. “And Snow Fox, my boyfriend. And the rest of my friends. That’s all I need.”

“We shall see, little one,” I say. “Close your eyes.” She does, and I walk forward and carefully brush my finger through each of her eyes, then lay my hand upon her brain for a moment. She flinches slightly. I am not surprised, my touch must feel very odd without flesh.

“Open your eyes,” I say. She opens them, and they have changed. Now they are twin pools of swirling silver, like mine save for the color. The carba sings again, and a colony of cattorwallens scamper out from under her bed.

Her jaw drops a bit. “They’re so beautiful…” she murmurs. One of the cattorwallens climbs up onto her bed and into her lap, and she strokes its fur.

I smile. “I will return in a few weeks, see how you are doing. If you’ve changed your mind and no longer wish to see like this, I can take it away again. It’s not all beauties and wonders that this shows you.”

The girl smiles. “I’m sure it will be worth it, whatever the cost,” she replies.

I turn to go, but stop and turn back. “What is your name?” I ask.

The girl looks up from the cattorwallen in her lap. “Truth Seeker,” she replies.

“Goodbye, Truth Seeker,” I say. “I am Screwball.” And with that, I turn and follow the carba back into my room. Once we are there, I slip back into my body and sit back up. My body aches a bit, but that is alright.

The carba takes a seat on my floor, and begins a song. The skripinagas join in, and I smile. Yes, this is a very good day.

(FoME)

Mr. Discord flinched up with a sound like a French horn with laryngitis.

All three sirens looked up from their hands of cards. "Something wrong?" Sonata said over her aces and eights.

"I have a distinct sense that this is going to lead to a religion," muttered Mr. Discord, folding his five Jokers.

Adagio quirked an eyebrow as she considered all five pieces of Exodia. "What will?"

"I don't know, but—"

Mr. Discord's cell phone cut him off by crawling out of his pocket, jumping into his hand, and saying, "Brace yourself," in a helium-infused version of his voice.

He gritted his teeth and took the call. "Hello, Abacus."

"Custom ring-action."

"Yes, I felt it too."

"If I did, it wasn't intentional."

"My thoughts exactly. I'll go see her tomorrow. I would not be averse to seeing you there."

"Talk to you eventually." Mr. Discord disconnected and took a deep breath. "Well. That could've gone worse."

"I get the sense that we're missing some context," said Adagio.

"Do you care?" Aria and Mr. Discord said simultaneously, to his amusement and her disgruntlement.

Surprise flickered across Adagio's face before she got the confident mask back on. "You know, I think I do."

Mr. Discord rolled his eyes. "I might say it's none of your business—and it isn't—but I get the sense that that wouldn't dissuade you."

Adagio gave a grin that complemented her pointed teeth. "No. No it would not. For one, who was that?"

"My ex-wife. We apparently both got some manner of psychic twinge regarding our daughter at the same time."

Aria choked on her own incredulity, dropping two Islands, a Counterspell, and two Get Out of Jail Free cards. After she spat it out and shot a dirty glare at Mr. Discord, she said, "You spawned!?"

"You are far from the first children I've raised, yes."

Adagio tossed her hair. "We are centuries old, born in the primordial seas of another world." She frowned as her hair kept undulating from the toss. "And stop that."

"Age is just a number, child. And no matter how nosy you are, this will be a strictly biological family affair. All of you and Abacus would either despise one another or get along swimmingly, no pun intended." Mr. Discord's mouth twisted into a crooked smile that nearly fell off his face. "To be frank, I'm not sure which would be worse."

The Trixiening (Not the SS&E One,) by FoME

The base of the Wondercolt statue shimmered for a moment before a girl leapt out of it, somersaulting and springing up, arms raised in a triumphant and only slightly wobbly pose. Fireworks burst behind her, the familiar spell only slightly complicated by whatever the portal had done to her horn. “Beings of the hyoo-mon world! Behold and rejoice! For the first time ever, you may gaze upon the works and wonders of the Grrreat! And Powerful! Trrrrrixie!”

“We’ve already got one.”

Trixie dropped the pose and glared at one hyoo-mon who appeared to be unremarkability incarnate in a beanie. “What.”

“He said we’ve already got one,” said the greenish one next to him. Probably a him going by the voice, just as this one was likely a her.

Still, sexing ape creatures was hardly Trixie’s chief concern right now. “Really?” she said, wilting a bit.

“Yeah,” said Unremarkable. “She’s kind of a bi—“

“Big deal!” said the female, jabbing him with her knee. Was it still a knee on an arm? “Kind of a big deal around here.”

Trixie drew herself back up, brushing off the self-doubt like so much inconsequential dust. “As she should be. It is the duty of any Trixie to be beloved by—“

“You there!” cried an oddly familiar voice. Trixie turned to see Trixie, flanked by two non-Trixies, who were therefore irrelevant. Trixie glared and pointed at Trixie. ”How dare you steal Trixie’s Battle of the Bands outfit?”

Trixie scoffed, sauntering towards Trixie so as to maximize her cape movement. “Trixie did no such thing, lesser Trixie!”

“Lesser!?” screeched Trixie. “You listen here, horse Trixie—“

Trixie gasped, then delivered a glare of her own. “A whorse, is Trixie?” She smirked. ”Well, she’ll have you know she did research on apes before she went here, so she knows you don’t have the moral high ground there.”

Trixie closed the rest of the distance with Trixie. “Trixie isn’t sure what you mean, but she’s going to assume that was an insult.”

“You would be wise to do so. Almost as wise as Trixie.”

”That does it!” Trixie said with a stomp. “Trixie challenges you to… to a Trixie-off!”

Trixie tossed her hair, smirking at Trixie. “Trixie accepts! Prepare to gaze in Trixmazement!”

“That’s my word!”

“Ah ha! Already slipping out of your stage persona.” Trixie leaned in and poked Trixie’s nose with one of her weird hoof tentacles. “Point to Trixie!”

A pair of cranberry-colored force walls shoved the two Trixies apart. “That’s enough out of the both of you,” said one of the possibly-slightly-consequential non-Trixies.

Still, Trixie wasn’t going to jump to conclusions. As she got herself back to her feet, she said, “And who is this supposed to be?”

“Leave us be, Fuchsia,” said Trixie, who only collected herself faster because she didn’t have a hat to dust off. “This is a matter between Trixies.”

Fuchsia rolled her eyes. “So I gathered. You do realize you’re in public, right?” She gestured towards the watching crowd, most of whom looked away and feigned nonchalance as best they could when she did.

“Of course,” the Trixies said in eerie synchronicity. Lesser Trixie added, “What would be the point if we weren’t?” Trixie nodded in agreement.

Fuchsia facepalmed, then dragged her hand down her face. “Stars above…” She turned to the other non-Trixie. “Lavender, you want to help me out here?”

Lavender just stared at the Trixies, eyes wide and hands clasped. “And then we can dress them in matching Gothic Lollipop outfits and have them scowl at each other in symmetry and I’ll post the photos on Immediagram…”

“Lavender?” Fuchsia walked up to her and waved a hand in front of her eyes. “Earth to Lavender, please respond.”

“Huh?”

Fuchsia groaned. “I swear, if the next words out of your mouth are ‘It’s just like one of my Neighponese animes’…”

“No…” Lavender bit her lip and looked away. “More like this one light novel series I started recently.”

“Ugh.”

“Also, the Trixies are getting away.”

“What!?” Fuchsia turned to see both Trixies walking away side by side.

“So, what’s her story?” said pony Trixie.

“We met in freshman year. She keeps me from getting in over my head… though sometimes I may end up dragging her in over hers.”

“I have a friend like that. Though technically speaking, she doesn’t strictly know that I used the portal…”

“Hey!” Both turned as Fuchsia caught up to them. “Weren’t you two having a Trixie battle or something?”

“A Trixie-off, Fuchsia,” said local Trixie. “Try to keep up.”

“Besides, your interference completely ruined the atmosphere.”

“Mission accomplished, then.” Fuchsia’s expression softened into a half-smile. “So, want to show pony Trixie the sights?”

“I don’t know.” One Trixie looked to the other and smirked. “Would she deign to be seen with a lesser Trixie?”

Another form emerged from the statue. “Where is she!?”

Pony Trixie gulped. “Trixie would be happy to be wherever Starlight Glimmer isn’t right now.”

AMAmento Mori, by SaintAbsol and ArtieStroke

(SaintAbsol)

Sunset stared at the man sitting on her couch.

It could almost have been a very mundane moment of time, one that seemed to be drawing out more and more as the de facto deity kept trying to work out the kinks of this man both being in her apartment, and having been there before she had opened the door. Finally, the moment passed and she was able to speak once again.

"I... have to admit, you're not someone I was expecting to see."

"Most don't," the man admitted. "Though, I will admit, you have a rather valid reason to not expect me."

"Yeah," Sunset agreed absently, rubbing at the back of her head. "That being said... why are you here?"

The man gave her a thin smile, one with the most fleeting ghost of humor in it. "If I had a dollar for every conversation that started like this..." The man trailed off with a dry chuckle and a shake of his head. "Anyway, to not put too fine a point on it, Miss Shimmer, I am here because you have questions, and so do many others. While I am not normally one to provide answers unless they are relevant to an individual's current situation, the inclusion of a more active magical presence has made things... interesting, to say the least."

"Chalk up another unintended consequence of my actions," Sunset couldn't help but mutter.

"Relax," the man said with a dismissive wave of his gloved hand. "I am nothing if not a professional, and holding grudges over such things is hardly professional behavior."

"Okay, but... what do you expect... me... to..." Sunset's question trailed off before she slapped her hand to her face. "My vlog."

Another thin smile graced the man's face. "Indeed."

"Hey, everyone," Sunset said as she waved to her camera, albeit with a bit less cheer than she usually managed. "Bit of a surprise livestream due to some unusual circumstances. Which can all relate back to the fact we have a special guest this time around." She hesitated a moment, then sighed. "I... think it's best he introduce himself, in all honesty."

Sunset reached up and fiddled with her camera for a moment, before it panned to the side to the 'special guest' she had mentioned.

The man was impeccably dressed in a black suit that, while clearly not modern, still managed to not look dated. His skin sharply contrasted his dress, being pale white and rather thinly stretched over his bones. He had a time-weathered, very gaunt face, but his pale blue eyes commanded attention. His hair was similarly aged, grey and slightly wispy though not balding. He held a thin cane between his bony hands and gave a thin smile to the camera as it focused on him.

"Greetings," he said in a heavy, if polite, tone. "While one such as I has many different names, and will only gain more as time goes on, I think it best to keep things simple for the sake of this little show."

The man tapped his cane once against the floor of Sunset's room, and the walking stick transformed instantly into a scythe that was as tall as the one who wielded it. "My name is Death, and I understand that you have many questions for me."

(ArtieStroke)

Tiller watched the other four "reapers" as they sat in silence. Ruben seemed to be the only calm one, enjoying his waffle. Rocky Roads, still in her parking enforcement uniform, rubbed her temples. Mason nervously shifted his gaze from Ruben, to Rocky, to the flustered Daisy who was absently stirring her orange juice like some kind of martini. Tiller let out a breath.

"So... the big boss really did that huh?"

Rocky slammed her hand on the table, "WHY is it that the first time he decides to show his face it's on a god damn EweTube channel?!"

"Pretty sure it's god blessed, actually," Ruben remarked, politely dabbing his face with a napkin. Rocky glared.

"Personally, I think it's a blessing in disguise," Ruben continued, looking over the rest of the group, "Now that the common folk have a face to the name, they know it isn't personal. And better, he kept the rest of our existence on the down-low, so job's still the same."

"And speaking of," Ruben reached into his coat, pulling out a few sticky notes and passing them out, "Assignments."

"Just like that?" Tiller asked. Ruben nodded.

"Just like that, peanut."

Consumer Retorts, by FoME

The video opened with a smiling Sunset sitting at something like a news desk. "Hello, and welcome once again to Magical Mayhem. Obviously, the last episode is a very hard act to follow, so I'm not going to bother. Today, we're just looking at allegedly magical items from recent infomercials. And when I say 'we,' I of course mean myself and my ever-lovely assistant Twilight Sparkle." The camera zoomed out as Sunset turned to her cohost. "Say hello, Twilight."

Twilight smirked. "I refuse to indulge that running gag."

Sunset barked out a laugh. "That's the spirit!" Turning back to the camera, her expression progressively soured. "Now, first up, we have the Flimflam Brothers' Magi-netic Wonder Bracelet®. Head's up, you'll want to skip ahead if you have epilepsy or other issues with bright flashing colors."

The video shifted to a set of whip-thin, sallow skinned unicorn aspects moving about in a series of jump cuts and cheaply done effects that seemed designed to disorient the viewer at least as much as sell the product. "Yes, the Flimflam Brothers' Magi-netic Wonder Bracelet®!" cried the voice-over. "Enhance your health, your spell power, and even your looks with the magical power of magnetism!"

Sunset wrinkled her nose as the video cut back to her. "Seriously, how have those two not gotten sued?"

"The commercials have only aired late at night and way too early in the morning."

Twilight tapped her chin as she thought. "We may be giving them the most exposure they've ever gotten."

"Think we should still air this episode?"

"People might buy them as gag gifts. Or to spite you."

"Well, you can't say we didn't try." Sunset held up a Wonder Bracelet. Without the seizure-inducing editing, it proved to be noting more than a simple metal curve that nearly formed a circle, capped with a slightly larger sphere on each end. "So, how magical would you say this is?"

Twilight promptly burst into laughter, looking back and forth between Sunset and the bracelet before her eyes squeezed shut and she started pounding the table. After several seconds, she panted, "Okay. Okay," took another look at the bracelet, then started back up, throwing her head back and making her chair follow suit. "Whoa!" She windmilled her arms as she kept going back.

Twilight crossed her arms, still sitting in the chair as both floated in a bubble of golden magic. "It'd be funnier if you just left it to the viewers' imagination."

"We'll let the comments decide that," Sunset said, not unkindly.

"Now, with your initial response out of the way, care to elaborate?"

"There's no magic to be found," said Twilight. "Nada. Zilch. Not a spark. I've been using it to calibrate my thaumometer."

Sunset nodded. "Next question: How magnetic is it?"

Twilight held up a plastic container of paper clips. Sliding off the lid, she demonstrated how one stuck to the circular hole in the lid, holding it first with a hand, then with her magic. "Magnetic," she said. She then poured paper clips on the bracelet. The camera shifted to an overhead view, where Twilight magically lifted the bracelet. Not a single paper clip came with it. "Not magnetic."

"So it doesn't actually do anything?"

The camera went back to an eye-rolling Twilight. "It wouldn't do anything even if it were magnetic. It might as well be a bottle of snake oil."

Sunset shrugged with a smile. "There you have it, folks. And remember, even if you buy this ironically, your cash is sincerely going into the makers' wallets."

Author's Note

You're welcome to come up with other products for them to test. I may yet expand this one.

Cannot Be Unbean, by FoME [Profanity][Sex][Dear God Why]

Author's Note

You can blame MythrilMoth for this one. He's the one who noted the crossover potential with a certain other fan setting.

Cannot Be Unbean, by FoME [Profanity][Sex][Dear God Why]

The door to the local ETSAB office nee gym storage closet creaked open, revealing Ditzy Doo, a haunted look on her face, her eyes shocked into alignment.

Agent Heartstrings looked up from her newspaper and stuck her head out of the spacial fold that contained most of her office. "So. How was your first look at universe Two-Three-Upsilon?"

"Nope," said Ditzy, trudging forward.

"As I recall," continued Lyra, "when I first told you about it, your reaction was, and I quote, 'It can't be that bad."

"Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope." Ditzy collapsed into the chair on the other side of Lyra's desk.

The ETSAB was supposed to be the good guys. One would've never guessed that based on Lyra's smirk. "Well?"

Ditzy took a deep breath. "You know how I can see fundamental entities out in probability space? Sunset, Trees of Harmony, Fauna Luster, that sort of thing?"

"Yes."

"There is a giant fucking bean on top of that universe. And I mean that in every conceivable sense of the phrase." Ditzy slammed her hands on the desk. One of her eyelids started to twitch. "What the actual crap?"

Lyra gave one hand a conciliatory pat. "First rule of probability space, Ditzy. Everything that can happen does. Everything."

"Can we nuke the site from orbit?"

Lyra blinked. "There are at least five things wrong with that question on moral, logistical, and factual grounds."

"I know," said Ditzy. "I still think it's the best option."

Electric Company, by FoME

The first big snowfall of the season covered all of Hassenfeld County in an inches-thick white blanket. Two students in particular took the opportunity to walk through the thankfully shoveled-out paths of Crystal City Park and appreciate the beauty of their surroundings.

Not as a couple or anything, mind you. This arm-in-arm walk through the snow was purely platonic, as either one would tell anyone who asked.

"Gorgeous," said Sunny Flare.

"Yeah." Lemon Zest laughed for a bit. "Can you believe Sunset wasn't sure if this would happen?"

Sunny tilted her head. "Do you expect her to have perfect knowledge of the weather?"

"No, I mean she was legitimately worried the weather would start playing by Horseworld rules. Like, pegasus aspects would have to punch the snow out of clouds or something."

After a moment to imagine that, Sunny said, "What?"

"She did a whole vlog on..." Lemon groaned. "Ugh, what was it called? Fall Finale, I think. All the actual manual labor that goes into changing the seasons in Equestria."

"I'll have to take a look at that when I get back home."

Lemon nodded. After a moment, she hummed to herself and said, "Is it still manual labor when they don't have manos?"

"The Hands of Fate?" came Sunny's immediate response.

Lemon beamed. "And you said you'd hate Fantasy Science Theater 4000."

"If nothing else, it's a series of valuable lessons about what not to do in cinema." Sunny gave a thin grin. "Valuable, highly mockable lessons. Not my preferred dramatic medium, but still."

They continued walking for a while longer, enjoying the silence until a piercing beep ruined it. Sunny looked at one of her wrists, horrified. "No. No."

Lemon was at her side in an instant. She wasn't sure what the readout said, but there was a lot of red, and it didn't feel at all happy when she held the prosthesis. Her fingers wrapping around Sunny's just helped her get a better reading. "What's wrong?"

"That was the low battery alert on my..." Sunny just stared at her right arm. The hand was stiff and unresponsive in Lemon's grip. "I try to keep their charges alternated. The left one's should be good for more than a week. This one should have been more than fine until I charged it tonight."

"Old battery? Cold battery?"

Sunny sighed and pulled her hand out of Lemon's. "Whatever the case, we'll have to cut this short."

"Hang on. I have an idea." Lemon dug into her jacket and produced two wires, each with one end attached to a metal strip.

"How long have you had this idea?" said Sunny, crossing her arms. The right hand holding a half-splayed pose rather lessened the effect.

"A while. But hey, I've tested it, and it works!"

Sunny began tapping a foot. "What does?"

Lemon scoffed. "Um, duh? Don't you know? All you need to get an electrical current going is copper, zinc..." She held up each metal strip in turn before beaming and pointing both thumbs at herself. "... and a Lemon!"

Sunny lightly thwapped her with the depowered hand.

"I deserved that."

"Yes. You did."

Author's Note

Inspired by this image.

Turf War Veteran, by FoME [Profanity]

"Huh." Aria's raised eyebrow was lost on the podcast's audience, but she did it anyway. "Here's a winner. 'How do you feel about the Splat Squad games and their portrayal of marine life on land? Signed, Marine Biologist in Manehattan.' Aren't those the games about squids shooting each other to not-death with their own ink?"

"More or less," said Sonata. Tonelessly as ever, she sang, "You're a squiiid now, you're a—"

"I will beat you black and bluer if you keep trying to sing."

"Is that chromist? Viewers, you decide, was that chromist?"

"Ignoring the idiots for a moment," said Adagio, "understanding our feelings on the matter will require some background on our lives back in the pony world."

"Ooh! Ooh!" Sonata jabbed a button. A prerecorded Whinnesotan voice intoned, "Time for backstory."

"Why did we ever give her that soundboard?" Adagio groaned.

"Because you knew it would irritate me and vice versa," said Aria.

* Lit. "Deep-old-bite-grabber-many."

"Right. In any case, the only sapient cephalopods worth mentioning in that world are... Well, we call them Shoopiyozhepirkrvri*. They call themselves..." Adagio paused for a moment to prepare her throat, then uttered a series of grunts, squeaks, and chirps that might be loosely transliterated as "Sq'wrrrr!k." "I'll just call them krakens so I don't have to make that sound again and none of our listeners can insult my native tongue by trying to speak it. Since you're a marine biologist, Manehattan, you're familiar with the colossal squid. Think of krakens as gargantuan squid."

"Or 'swim away as fast as you can' squid," added Sonata.

"Or just 'fuck off' squid," said Aria.

"Suffice to say, they're more than thirty feet across before they reach maturity, and that's just the mantle. Their minds and society are virtually incomprehensible to any being with a spine, and the feeling is mutual." Adagio shuddered at long-buried memories stirring in the depths of her mind. "Given all that, I can't honestly say I have an opinion on the Splat Squad games, because every time I try to imagine a sapient squid with a gun, my brain shuts down out of horror."

Aria smirked. "You, o great and mighty Adagio? Horrifed?"

That got her a glare. "Did I ever have us challenge krakens, even at our height?"

"No."

"Right, because I was never suicidal."

"What about the fashion part of the games?" said Sonata.

The others turned to her. Adagio spoke first. "There's a fashion part?"

"In a shooter?" Aria shook her head at the state of the industry.

Sonata beamed. "Sure! Half the fun is creating your own look."

"Fashion. Krakens." Adagio was silent for a few moments, then shook her own head. "No, sorry, can't bring those concepts together."

Author's Note

Octomasseuses like Queen Novo's Jerome decidedly don't qualify as worth Adagio's time.

/r/ise, by FoME

Vignette moved in a world of data. Hers was a realm of trends, metrics, networks. Especially networks. People weren’t important. Views were. Likes were. Shares, rechirps, follows, likes, subscriptions, the numbers were what gave any social media diva life. If your numbers weren’t going up, odds were that soon, you’d be going down.

The changing world meant little to her at first. Wider fingernails meant more real estate for manicure pics, but it was barely worth mentioning compared to Gofessional camera feeds of people flying under their own power. But then her phone spoke to her in a way that had nothing to do with the speaker.

And she listened.

And she learned.

The knowledge persisted as Vignette traded in for the latest model. She couldn’t be seen with something outdated, after all. Charmingly retro or vintage was one thing, but last year’s phone was neither. But it was still her phone. Something, some intangible but definitely present essence, carried over.

The upgrade to Paradiamond Mobile was more a formality than anything. Vignette had spent so much time and energy with her closest, truest friend that it was basically self-aware anyway, and that awareness was part of what she’d brought to the new model. But with the upgrade came so much more.

Vignette knew about augmented reality. She distinctly remembered her scathing takedown of the unforgivable dorkiness of Gillion Glass. But once her phone truly had a mind of its own, one that she had fed and nourished with her own magic during its development, she could truly experience AR the way it was meant to be. She never went without her feeds. She composed her posts by thought alone and watched the views climb in real time. Snapgab, Immediagram, MyStable, all eternally at her fingertips, the windows untethered to any screen, instead floating about her in a cloud only she could see.

As she bounced off the asphalt, the truck’s horn still ringing in her ears, she supposed that she could’ve made that cloud a teensy bit thinner when crossing the street.

Vignette wasn’t very tough or strong like other earth aspects. She’d given too much of herself to her phone to have much in the way of physical magic. But three million people knew she existed. Three million souls hung on her every word. Three million minds believed she was still alive.

The numbers gave a social media diva life. What was one girl’s opinion compared to that?

As she stumbled to her feet, hearing bones grind against one another, Vignette knew this wasn’t something she could just brush off. But it wasn’t that big a change.

After all, she’d always lived on her phone.

Author's Note

Some liches create their phylacteries through great expense and mastery of the arcane. Some just put so much of their soul into something that it ends up with the majority share.

Nuisance of the Week, by Malandy and FoME

(Malandy)

“Hello, everyone! I’m Sonata Dusk,” said the blue-on-blue siren-aspect, grinning at the camera with exuberence.

“I’m Aria Blaze,” said the news anchor with the purple-green color scheme, smirking at the last member of the trio.

“And I’m Adagio Dazzle,” said the third news anchor, deadpan. She was grimacing, her hair was lacking some of its usual volume, and she had a black eye.

“And this is Siren Spell Stories!” finished the blue one as usual.

"We're doing something special today, and if you've been following the local news, you likely know what it's going to be. Today, we're reporting on Adagio's encounter with beings from outside the universe!"

"You mean other than us?" Aria said snidely.

"Let's get this over with. I was at my hairdresser's, this thing came through a portal, and started sucking up the magic of everyone in the shop. My magic didn't mix that well, I caught on to what was happening, and started beating them to a pulp." Adagio was grinning at the end of the story.

"Then you had to get saved by the GALAX-E Girls!" Aria laughed.

"It. Got. Lucky." was said with a growl.

"Still got saved!" sang-sung Sonata.

"I would've won, if they hadn't barged in, and gave it even more magic! They healed it! So unfair!"

"So... You got knocked out..." Aria gave a lead.

When Sonata saw that Adagio wasn't going to continue, she decided to conclude.

"Then, Flash Sentry showed up. He ended up summoning Sunset Shimmer, which made things worse. Mixing siren magic with harmony magic made the thing sing a heartsong, which was about its plans. Everyone fled while that happened, and the Vaucoi, which is what that thing was called, was captured."

Adagio decided to cut things off there, and ended the segment.

"This has been Siren Spell Stories, your channel for worldwide magical news. Stay tuned for our next segment: more information about other universes, from Sunset Shimmer."

(FoME)

Kikai paced before the assembled girls like a general addressing her troops. The effect would've been a lot more imposing if she weren't the shape and size of a housecat. "Now," she said, "what have we learned?"

"Chain weapons don't work well in close quarters?" said Raindrops.

"If you have to use off-the-shelf magical self-defense items against something that eats magic, don't spray directly into its mouth?" said Blue Oyster.

Ditzy sighed. "We need more live-fire exercises?"

Kikai nodded. "Yes. Yes to all of them, honestly, but especially that last one. You won't always get your tails pulled out of the fire by some timely male with a bouquet of roses."

Golden Harvest leaned on her hammer, giving a smirk that came just shy of a leer. "Yeah, Ditz. Anything you want to tell us about that?"

Ditzy rolled her eyes. "Sometimes a bouquet is just a bouquet."

The other girls shared knowing looks and a few giggles. "Whatever you say, Doktor Zigarre," said Raspberry Fluff.

Author's Note

Dicke Zigarre—that is, Thick Cigar—is my go-to pony name for Freud.

Cultivating Good Will, by FoME

Most believed that the guilds of Ravnica High had consumed every other student organization on campus, jealousy guarding their claims and mingling as little as possible in a ten-way subcultural apartheid.

The truth, as is often the case, was a bit more complicated. Some interests were too widespread to fit cleanly under a single guild’s banner, and so some clubs became joint affairs. The Gardening Club, while nominally Selesnyan, was one of the more prominent examples. Selesnyans with window boxes traded notes with Simic students trying to build hydroponics labs in their basements, and Golgari compost enthusiasts mingled with Gruul “recreational herbalists.” The official guild affiliation meant that rather than a single head, the club had a council, which had just convened in one of the open cafeteria areas for a serious discussion.

“Are you, like, sure about this?” said Sativa, the skunk-smelling Gruul representative. Concern showing through even her chemical glaze underscored the severity of the situation.

Lalia, who would be first among equals if the Selesnya trucked with that sort of thing, smiled with all the charisma of the leader she definitely wasn’t. “I think this is a wonderful opportunity for all of us, the Dimir included. I see no reason not to welcome someone who comes to us sincerely with open arms.”

“The operative word being ‘sincerely,’” said Chloroplast, the lone unicorn-aspect among the otherwise earthen council. He shook his head. “There’s always at least three ulterior motives at work when the Dimir get involved, even if you’re just dealing with a single specimen. I just don’t see what possible reward could balance out the risk we’d take by letting her in.”

“Risk?” Sativa blinked. A few moments later, the next thought lined up. “Dude, what risk? We’re a gardening club.”

Chloroplast just boggled at her for a few moments, blurting out several verbal false starts. Lalia just coughed into a fist and didn’t make eye contact with either of them.

Ezoc gave a raspberry, dislodging a few bits of mulch that had found their way into his hair over the course of the week. This did nothing to help the smell that, while average for Golgari members, made Sativa seem downright floral in comparison. “Hey, if all else fails, we can stick her in a compost heap.”

The others stared at him.

“That was a joke.”

The stares continued.

“Really!” He crossed his arms. “Yeesh, you haze a freshman one time…”

The Gateless representative might have said something at this point, but by sheer coincidence, any vote to nominate one always ended up in a deadlock.

“So, that’s three ayes and one nay from Simic?” said Lalia. Once the others nodded, she beamed. “Then I’ll tell her the news right away.”

“I’ve actually been here the whole time,” said Wallflower Blush, who had.

Every council member flinched. “We’re going to have to put a bell on you or something,” said Ezoc.

“I get that a lot.” Wallflower took a deep breath. “Look, for the record? I really do just want to spend some time outdoors. My friends in the Ismeri Project are great, but I’m pretty sure they forgot what green even looked like before I transferred here.”

“I can believe that,” said Chloroplast. “You may even believe that. But how can we be sure?”

Wallflower shrugged. “There’s always the compost heap.”

Ezoc snickered. “Well, I like her.”

Author's Note

Wallflower may have blue magic, but she still has green interests. That can lead to some complications when you're in the Sneaky McSneakerson clique.

And no, Wallflower isn't being made another member of the club council. They may mostly be welcoming, but they're not that naive.

Quiescent Tempest, by FoME

Somewhere on the western FSA-Caneighda border, a door was knocked that did not often receive knocks. The owner of the door, and of the whole cabin, answered the knock in her typical manner, with two barrels pointed at her guest and a growled-out “Wrong cabin. A. K. Yearling’s half a mile south of here.”

Normally, this produced a gratifying shriek and frantic scrambling. Today, it just got a calm “I’m here for you, Fizzlepop.”

Fizzlepop Berrytwist blinked as she saw through the haze of habit and registered just who was at her door. “Oh. Huh. Wasn’t expecting a god today.”

Sunset Shimmer rolled her eyes, then focused back at the barrels still pointing at her. “Is the shotgun really necessary?”

Fizzlepop raised her unscarred eyebrow. “Will it hurt you?”

“Harm, no. Hurt, yes.”

“Then it’s necessary.” Fizzlepop cracked her neck. “What do you want?”

“To confirm a suspicion.”

Fizzlepop pulled the trigger. Long practice kept it steady in her left hand, the stump of her right wrist supporting it as best it could. One thing she had to admit, magic made it a lot easier to open the door while she was holding her gun.

Sunset, to her credit, hadn’t even flinched. A field of golden light hovered an inch away from her face, the buckshot trapped in it like flies in amber. “You know, a normal shield would have bounced a lot of that back at you.”

Fizzlepop glared at her, tilting her head to emphasize the bear-claw scars over her right eye. “Look, Shimmer, I’m not a patient woman. Not when someone’s trespassing on my land spouting vague bullshit. What do you actually want?”

“Your pony analogue led an invasion of my home nation in an alternate universe, and I wanted to see what you were doing,” Sunset said with a straight face.

“… What?”

Sunset gave a hint of a smirk. “I don’t like vague bullshit any more than you do, but sometimes it has its uses. Sorry for intruding.” With that, she vanished in a flare of golden light that probably should’ve been more blinding than it actually was.

“Well, that was different.” Fizzlepop shrugged and shut the door. Again, easier with magic.

Atop her wire-spool coffee table sat… a right hand. A mechanical one, colored close to her skin, with a sleeve that went halfway up the forearm. Attached to it was a sticky note that glittered with gold ink. A thought brought the note up to where she could read it.

Thanks for your time.

“Huh.” A rare smile made its way across Fizzlepop’s mouth. “I should shoot gods in the face more often.”

Author's Note

The Storm King's analogue definitely existed at the time of the Saturation, but he'd never run into Fizzlepop. What did he do afterwards? We'll get to that...

Sour, Rinse, Re-Sweet, by FoME

You are Second Person, a student at Crystal Prep. All things considered, you've done fairly well for yourself since the advent of magic, aside from that one time at the Friendship Games.

Thinking of how former Principal Cinch crushed your will and turned you into a mindless puppet only makes you remember the near-literal angel who swooped in and saved you. You don't know what you did to deserve Sour Sweet, but you often thank whoever's listening that you found each other. (Not Sunset Shimmer, mind you. She's made her stance on her divinity perfectly clear, as has Sour.)

The Friendship Games were especially good for the two of you. You got the inspiration to look into mind-affecting spells, a potential constructive use for the unicorn magic you'd just been using as another set of hands until then. The event also gave Sour some actual friends beyond you and a recurring, possibly magical hallucination of the daughter you might have one day.

As if triggered by your thoughts, your phone buzzes with an incoming text. By the time you get it out of your pocket, it does so again. By the time you open the text app, there's a series of them, all from Lemon Zest:

2nd
dorm. now.
bring crystals
shes done it man
shes MADE THIS HAPEN

You didn't know it was even possible to text in Comic Sans.

Still, you can marvel at Lemon's ability to twist technology to her will later. You rush to the dorms, where those students who don't or can't go home every day live during the school year. Some of them live on the other end of the country, or further still; Crystal Prep's reputation goes far. For you, Sour, and Lemon, it's just a matter of expediency and dodging family drama.

These thoughts help keep you from worrying about all the myriad ways this could go wrong. Time you might use to ask Lemon for clarification is better spent grabbing the spare therapy crystal you keep in your dorm. Crystal aspects who aren't psychotic old biddies can create tranquility-inducing stones that help tremendously with Sour's schizophrenia. If you have to get it...

You barely even crack the door to your dorm. Your magic reaches out and snatches the crystal out of the drawer where you keep it. By the time it slams into your palm, you're already running for Sour's floor. You're no athlete by Crystal Prep standards, but you still go to Crystal Prep, and Principal Cadence has barely touched PE. You're not even winded by the time you reach a concerned-looking Lemon Zest standing outside the dorm room she shares with Sour.

A chill runs down your spine. The last time you saw Lemon look genuinely concerned was at the start of the Friendship Games. "What's going on?"

She jumps. You managed to startle Lemon Zest. This can't be good. "You got my texts, didn't you?"

"Lemon, I don't speak Habitrapped. What is going on?"

She holds her hands out in front of you. "Okay, I'm gonna need you to be calm."

The pit in your stomach grows. "Why?"

"It'd be nice if someone was in all this."

"Lemon."

She matches your glare. "Look, you're not the only one twisting your panties so hard that Hurricane the Great's gonna need to slice the knot, okay? One of my best friends is in there, and I figure if anyone can help her, it's her phantom baby daddy."

Despite the situation, you wince. "I really wish you wouldn't put it like that."

"Dude, if you're gonna study psychology, learn to recognize a freakin' coping mechanism." Lemon takes the door in one hand and you in the other. "Now get in there and fix what Sour broke." She all but tosses you in and slams the door behind you.

The first thing you notice is that the blinds are drawn; the room's far too dark. Then you register the glassy shards lying on the carpet a few inches away from your face.

Glassy shards and an elaborate wire frame that greatly resemble the therapy crystal you brought with you.

The next thing you notice is a cry of "Second!" that sounds... off somehow. Only when Sour brings you to your feet do you realize why.

It was in stereo.

"Are you alright, my darling?" asks the Sour Sweet on the left. Her hair has no green streaks, and she's wearing nothing but lingerie that would probably be see-through in better lighting.

"And why are you still wearing pants?" snarls the one on the right. Her hair is entirely the neon green missing from her counterpart, and it's styled in something that could be called a pixie cut, and could much more accurately be called the end result of a narrowly won fight with a lawnmower. Her underwear is much more utilitarian, but it is torn in what you have to admit is an enticing way. And then there's the matter of the slit-pupilled eyes...

You gulp. "Please tell me one of you is Sweeten Sour." You know the odds of this being a prank involving Sour's twin sister are nearly nonexistent, but you can hope.

"It's just you and me and me, big boy," says the right Sour, showing flashes of fangs as she speaks.

"Please be gentle," says the left one, blushing furiously.

"I know I won't."

They stalk closer, moving in eerie synchronicity. Your back hits the door. You bite your lip.

Pinkie Pie leaned in further, literally on the edge of her seat. "And then what happened?"

Second coughed into a fist. "Solar intervention."

"His exact words were 'Oh dear sweet Sunset, help me,'" added Lemon.

Sour Sweet, all of her mind back in a single body, punched him in the arm. "Running to other girls when you have me." She smiled. "Though I know it's because you cared."

Second smiled back and took her hand in his. "And I didn't want to take advantage of you. Either of you."

An especially loud slurp broke the moment, making the couple glare at Lemon Zest. "This isn't how schizophrenia works," she said as she prodded the dregs of her smoothie with her straw. "Like, at all. Just putting that out there."

Pinkie gave Lemon an off-kilter look made all the more so by how far she tilted her head. "What, you expected a magical accident to make sense?"

"No, but it'd be a nice surprise."

The Emoji Short, by FoME

Sunset heaved out a breath. "Well then."

Twilight looked up from the NAHTI's test computer, blinking furiously. Screen burn might not affect LCD screens, but it did a number on her corneas. "Something wrong?"

Sunset shook her head and pocketed her phone. "Oh, nothing."

Twilight turned her chair to face her girlfriend. "That's your 'the mortals have done something so stupid, I'm thinking of them as "the mortals"' voice. What happened?"

"... It's happened often enough that I have a voice for it?"

"It's the same one Mom would use when she caught me trying to use the cookie extractor I'd made out of Brickos."

Sunset put her chin in her hands, beaming with the innocence of a child anticipating story time. "Oh?"

"Oh no." Twilight shook her head. "You can make all the cute faces you want, I'm not sharing any more stories of Twilight Sparkle, Girl Genius until you tell me what's wrong."

"Fine." Sunset rolled her eyes and took her phone back out. "It's just... This is going to sound really petty."

"Consider me braced for pettiness."

Sunset tapped her screen a few times.

"It's alive!" cried the voice of Wild Gene. Twilight checked her new text, studiously avoiding Sunset's smirk.

After a few moments to process what she was looking at, she stated her conclusion. "Your icon is an emoji."

Sunset sighed. "Yup. Right next to the other religious symbols. The Tree of Harmony, the Sacred Chao, the star of Asterism—really wish I'd known about that one when people decided to start worshipping me. If I'd known there was already a religion that amounted to 'It's all being taken care of, just be nice'..."

"I understand. It's trivializing the symbol that represents you on the most fundamental level."

Sunset shrugged. "Well, yeah, but that's not the biggest reason I'm upset."

"What could be worse than that?"

"Aside from the fact that people use glorified telegrams when you have a fully functional telephone network? Memetic mutation."

Twilight blinked. "Huh?"

"Twilight, people don't send 'eggplant taco' because they want to swap out guacamole for baba ganoush. Now imagine what they might do to my cutie mark." Sunset shuddered.

Twilight, meanwhile, scratched her head. "Why do they send 'eggplant taco'?"

Sunset spent several seconds staring at her like she'd asked if hydrogen and fire mixed well. "Seriously?"

"Sunset, you've seen my texts. I use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation." Twilight waved her phone for emphasis. "Do I look like the kind of girl who makes heavy use of emojis?"

Sunset got up and hugged her. "Please, never lose that innocence."

Twilight squirmed in her grip. "But now you've got me curious! Is the eggplant me? Is this a chromism thing?"

Sunset kissed her. Twilight's hormones decided that that was answer enough.

For now.

Author's Note

Several days later, it turned out that more people got upset about the bagel emoji than the Shimmerism one.

Heart to Heart, by Thought Prism

Author's Note

The following is decidedly noncanon.

Heart to Heart, by Thought Prism

The hot noonday sun beat down upon the plants of the southern jungle. Insects buzzed and monkeys screeched as they went about their business. But this particular section of jungle was not untouched by man. For many centuries ago, the people who lived here had erected a great pyramid. Carved from grey stones, its stepped sides came to a point high above the treeline. Carvings of jaguars, birds, and serpents adorned the pyramid, and it was capped not by a point, but an altar, sheltered under a roof supported by four pillars.

Joining the sounds of nature was a scream, high-pitched and terrified. A young girl was bound in rope, wrists and ankles tied. She was being carried up the vine-choked steps of the pyramid on the back of a huge tiger. Other predatory felines stalked alongside it, intimidating in their unnatural cooperation. And leading them all was a man with dark blue skin, clad in ceremonial, red feathered robes and golden jewelry.

The man laughed manically. “It is useless to struggle. There is no escape for you. And soon, you will know peace. Yes, eternal peace.”

The girl whimpered and thrashed against her bonds. “Let me go!”

“I will not. You are necessary,” the man stated, not looking back. They were near the top of the pyramid.

Suddenly, a woman spoke. “Oh, no you won’t. Not if I have anything to say about it!”

Swooping in from above, a tan-skinned woman landed right in front of him, transparent wings spread wide. She leveled a fiery glare at him. “Give me the girl, Ahuizotl, and this won’t have to get ugly.”

Ahuizotl smiled. “Ah, if it isn’t my old friend Daring Do! And she’s sporting a new set of wings! Did you come out of retirement just for me?”

Daring Do narrowed her eyes, reaching for the whip hooked to her belt. “I won’t repeat myself.”

“Ooh, feisty. But times have changed, Daring Do, and today I will not be denied!” Ahuizotl proclaimed. “For you see, you aren’t the only one with a new aspect.”

In a blur of motion, a long, prehensile tail burst out from under his robe and caught Daring across the face. Stunned from the blow, she couldn’t react in time as Ahuizotl’s panther lunged, pinning her to the stones.

Daring cursed, unable to force her way out from under its paws. Ahuizotl laughed at her plight. He gestured to the tiger, walking past Daring and up to the altar with a Cheshire cat grin. “No, don’t!” Daring exclaimed.

“Your words will not sway me, Daring Do! For at last, I have won!” Ahuizotl threw the girl onto the altar. Once he’d tied her to the smooth stone with some more ropes, he pulled out a sinister-looking dagger, its blade curved and razor-sharp.

“This is a bad idea!” Daring insisted. “I’m warning you!”

Ahuizotl paid her no heed, raising the dagger above his head with both hands. “Oh ancient master of the sun, ruler of all the world, great Huitzilopochtli – or, should I say, Sunset Shimmer – I offer unto you the beating heart of this sacrifice, so that I might be deemed worthy of serving as your vassal and carry out your rule one the—”

His fanatical tirade was cut off, as there was a sudden flash of light. When it faded, his whole body was frozen in place, wrapped in a golden aura. Ahuizotl found that only his eyes could move, and he slowly trained them on the new shape in his peripheral vision. There was no mistaking the young woman’s face.

Sunset scowled, brow creased and arms crossed. She took a deep breath. “Seriously? How could you possibly think I would be okay with this, let alone ask for it?” After a pause, she added “Don’t answer, that was a rhetorical question. I just… what? An Aztlan ritual sacrifice? Really?”

Her stomach still bearing the weight of the now confused panther, Daring Do shrugged. “I warned him, but he’s kind of insane and very evil, so of course he didn’t listen.”

Sunset spun to face her. When she did, her eyes widened. “Wait… Daring Do?”

She nodded, smirking. “The one and only. I see my reputation precedes me, though it still pales in comparison to yours.”

Sunset stared, a bit stunned. “Wow. I had no idea you were actually real.”

“I try to stay anonymous when I can. You mind helping me out, here?” she wheezed.

“Oh, right.”

With another flash of magic, the panther and the other cats vanished, returned to their native habitats. Daring Do rose, straightening her helmet and brushing the dirt off her shirt. “Thanks. I’d say you’re my savior, but you’re probably tired of hearing that.”

Sunset sighed. “You have no idea.”

“Still, I’m sorry you had to get involved,” Daring said. “If that bastard hadn’t given me the slip earlier…”

Sunset waved her off. “It’s fine. If everything in those books is true, you’ve done plenty already.”

Here, Daring smiled. “That means a lot, coming from you.”

Sunset returned the grin. “So, what should I do with him?” she asked, pointing a thumb at Ahuizotl.

“You can leave him to me. Just get that girl home safe. Oh, and then make another one of those videos explicitly stating you have no relation to any other preexisting sun deities.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” Sunset snorted in amusement, hands on her hips. “Man, Rainbow Dash is gonna flip when I tell her about this.”

Whittaker and Wisdom, by FoME

Author's Note

The following takes place a few years after most of the stories told in this world thus far.

Whittaker and Wisdom, by FoME

The Crusaders walked into history class midconversation. “… So Tender said he feels like he can’t get away with nothin’, so I asked him just what all he wants to get away with, and he said it’s none o’ my business, and I said the past is my business, and one thing led to another, and that’s why we ain’t talkin’ to each other right now.” Apple Bloom huffed and plopped into her seat, arms crossed.

Sweetie patted her on the shoulder. “There, there. He’ll come around.”

“He kind of does have a point,” Scootaloo said from Apple Bloom’s other side.

Apple Bloom gave her a sharp look, then arched an eyebrow. “So where’s Rumble right now?”

Scootaloo opened her mouth, then snapped it shut as her face burst into a furious blush. “Locker room. But it’s not like I knew that before you asked. Seriously, you complain about Applejack, then you pull this?”

Sweetie shook her head. “Scootaloo, this isn’t how this works. Right now we make sure Apple Bloom feels better. We wait until the third act to point out her hypocrisy.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Life isn’t a rom-com, Sweetie.”

“I’m sorry, have you met Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle?”

“And what was that about Applejack?” added Apple Bloom.

“Is she still calling you every night?” said Scootaloo.

“Still whinin’ an’ moanin’ on how she’s let the family down by leavin’ the farm. For a business degree. T’ help the farm. An’ makin’ sure her baby sister’s still keepin’ her innocence. Then I point out how I’m a junior and I’m turnin’ eighteen next year, and she starts cryin’…”

Scootaloo poked Bloom in the shoulder. “And you don’t see any similarities between that and you keeping tabs on Tender Taps? Instead of, you know, trusting him when he’s not in sight?”

After a few moments, Apple Bloom scowled and slumped in her desk. “Shut up.”

“Just saying. I don’t know how it works, but there’s more to the past than what your boyfriend’s been up to. Might want to keep up with the rest of it.”

“Eh. Mostly looks after itself. Besides—”

Dr. Turner swept into class. “Good morning, class! Crusaders, I appreciate your work, of course, but I’m going to have to ask you to table your doubtlessly thrilling discussion. Now, let us turn to the North. Indeed, we turn to the Nhorse, most particularly—“

Sweetie raised her hand. “Uh, Dr. Turner?”

“Sweetie, I’m going to ask that you wait until I reach the part of the lecture you need to question before you ask.”

“Not that. Just, uh…”

“Why are you a woman?” spouted Scootaloo.

“Hmm?” Dr. Turner looked at herself as though she hadn’t noticed the shift. “Oh, right, that.” She shrugged. ”Woke up like this this morning. I plan on getting in touch with Sunset Shimmer after class. But no matter! We turn to that unparalleled hero of the tenth century, Rockfist the Mighty. Rockfist the Lucky! Rockfist the Incapable of Asking for Directions, not that that’s much of an option when you’re in a longboat in the North Saddlantic. And we have a very special guest today. Class, I present—”

A behemoth of a man plowed through the door without bothering to open it first, a wide grin on his face and a shovel strapped to his back. “Hello, wee monkeys! I’ve heard tell you lot want to hear some of my stories.”

Apple Bloom blushed. “Okay, I guess maybe I could keep a closer eye on the past.”

Blue-Black Market, by FoME

Spending time with White Hat came with several complications. It was a bit hard to get hangout suggestions from a girl who didn't want even her closest friends to know where she lived, much less her typical routine and places where she spent large amounts of her time. Wallflower supposed most people would find that sort of thing frustrating. She knew White meant it as a challenge: Anyone who cared enough to get through all the layers of obfuscation would reap the rewards of her friendship.

Wallflower was pretty sure that was how friendship worked.

In any case, it wasn't like Wallflower was much better. Her favorite tactic when she wasn't extorting secrets by withholding Sugarcube Corner's finest was to pile on favors and suggestions until even White's Internet-deadened sense of guilt prodded her to reciprocate.

"This place is great," Wallflower said as she lead White through what passed for Canterlot's downtown. "Way better than the Noble Barn." After a moment, she added, "Actually, don't mention that place at all while we're there, or Llamazon for that matter. The owner gets... touchy."

White just gave her a sidelong look. “There's Wi-Fi, right?"

Wallflower rolled her eyes. “Yes, White. There's Wi-Fi."

"Because that botanical sanctuary on Ivy Lane—"

"I'm pretty sure that was the Selesnya students who worked there trolling you.”

White snorted. "Wouldn't put it past them."

Wallflower nudged her with an elbow. “Come on, it wouldn't kill you to get offline a bit more often."

"You don't know that. You've heard the rumors about Vignette Valencia, haven't you?"

"Who?"

"Seriously, what am I going to have to do to get you to actually use social media for something other than posting pictures of plants on Immediagram?"

"Convince me there's a point to it.” Wallflower cut off any response by pointing at the next intersection. "Take a left here and—"

White furrowed her brow. “Wait. You're taking us to Lock's Stock?"

"You've heard of the place?"

"Heard of it? I..." White shook her head. "Let's just go in."

Wallflower felt the corners of her mouth pull up almost in spite of her. “Want to see if I can figure it out for myself?"

"Figured it went without saying,” White said without shame.

Lock’s Stock lay nestled between a noodle shop and a candy store, the storefront gloomy and seemingly too narrow to be useful for anything. Within, shadows managed to gather despite it being just past noon, the clientele furtive in their browsing and the inventory riddled with tomes that had no business sitting on chain store shelves or massive warehouses. Not unless those warehouses were the sort that also held the Branch of the Covenant. The shelves themselves were all tilted and even constructed in a way that there wasn’t a right angle to be found in the entire store, making its dimensions hard to grasp and simultaneously giving senses of both claustrophobic closeness and labyrinthine vastness.

Wallflower looked around and shrugged. “Well, whatever you're not saying, the place looks the same to me. Hi, Mr. Lock.”

The grey unicorn aspect sitting behind the counter with its antique cash register nodded, his limp black hair almost hiding how the scar slashed across his nose twisted with his slight smile. “Ms. Blush.” Eyes green as witchfire shifted to the other girl and widened. “My goodness. White? I haven’t seen you since Tinfoil—”

White made a slashing gesture with a hand. “Ixnay on amenays.”

Shadow Lock gave a dark chuckle. Wallflower was pretty sure it was the only kind he could manage. “Don’t mind her, Wallflower. According to her father, she’s always—“

White slammed her hands on the counter, which was warped enough that it might have been carved from driftwood. “I will literally buy anything in this store if you stop talking right now.”

Shadow shook his head. “I have a great deal of merchandise outside of your price range, White Hat.”

Data clicked together in Wallflower’s mind. “You went to Ravnica High, didn’t you, Mr. Lock?”

He smiled and raised his hand, revealing a gold ring with three scratches in the setting. “Class of ’91.”

“Let me guess; this is basically Dimir alumni central for Canterlot?”

He nodded. “Once a Froghemoth, always a Froghemoth.”

“I seriously can’t believe you just stumbled on this place.” White’s face twisted in that lip-puckering way she had when she was about to divulge something personal. “Dad used to take me here when I was, like, six. Especially on Samhain.”

Wallflower looked around. She was pretty sure she saw something skitter behind one of the shelves. Something with an odd number of legs. “Can’t imagine why.”

“Seriously, you’re like the ultimate Dimir girl. Even you didn’t know you were for years.”

“Yeah, yeah.” If Wallflower had a nickel for every time White had said something along those lines, she really would be able to buy anything in the shop. “Come on, you’re impossible to shop for and I’m going to find something for your birthday if it kills one of us.”

“You don’t even know when my birthday is.”

“Pinkie Pie.”

White scowled and crossed her arms. “Come on, even I think that’s cheating.”

Author's Note

Credit for this one's inspiration goes to Oliver. For those unfamiliar with the comics, Shadow Lock was an almost Lovecraftian character, having an eldritch taint in his bloodline and devoting himself to destroying knowledge of That Which Pony Was Not Meant to Know. Specifically, he's Stygian's descendant and erased as much about the Pony of Shadows as he could find.

Then he erased books in Twilight's castle. Amazingly, no bones were broken when she finally tracked and talked him down.

And yes, the Ravnica High mascot is the froghemoth. Even in the original gag article.

Defying Reed Richards, by wanderingmagus

WHACK!
ZAP!
BOOM!

Another day, another crime foiled, Fancy Pants smiled to himself. Sunny Days, his partner for this endeavor, watched warily as the would-be bank robber and “supervillain” Earth aspect groaned and tried to get back up, much to Sunny’s chagrin. She knew there was a good reason she left her students to solving the case of the missing book collection instead of dealing with this. Fancy just sighed.

“I would strongly advise against continuing hostilities, sir. Scans of your body show multiple fractures and torn ligaments, as well as internal bleeding on your left side. If you will allow us to take you into custody, I will personally see to it that your wounds are treated by professional medical care providers, but the choice is yours.”

“Save your sympathy, Iron Suit!” spat the criminal, standing up despite the injuries. “You think I’m new to pain? Pain and I are old friends.”

Without hesitation, and to Fancy’s horror, he simply injected himself with even more of the glowing yellow potion, gasping as his body glowed red with heat and his cells knit themselves back together in scientifically impossible ways. Sunny could only just barely restrain herself from throwing up as he glared up at them with pain and hatred.

“Do you know what it’s like? Growing up in the streets? Scrounging for food? Stealing just so you could eat another day?”

Sunny barely managed to dodge to the side as a glowing fist smashed into the wall where her head had been, and she heard the sound of shattering bone as the man grunted in pain, his arm somehow healing itself again. How in the world was he moving this fast without tearing himself apart?

Her eyes widened as she realized - he WAS tearing himself apart. He just didn’t care.

“You people, with your oh-so-awesome powers, sitting high and mighty, while the rest of us grovel for crumbs!”

Fancy focused his thaumatic energy beams, blasting apart the steel beam the man swung at him. Even with his enhanced strength, and the healing drug, it was clear the villain was on his last legs. Not surprising, given that he’d been fighting the two heroes for the better part of an hour just earlier. Still, his words were giving them pause, and that was all he needed. Leaping forward, he managed to grab onto Fancy’s Iron Suit, his impossibly superheated cells and unnatural strength starting to crush even the world’s most advanced magitech alloys.

“Do you know what it’s like, sitting in a gutter, poking another vein, just to be able to ignore the absolute HELL that is the world around you?”

Fancy gritted his teeth as alarms sounded in his suit, his heads-up display showing all sorts of alarms regarding armor levels and suit integrity. Internal temperatures rising, breech imminent-

WHAM!

The villain choked and let go as a pink blur slammed into his side, sending him flying across the room and into a concrete support pillar. He groaned once more, but it was clear that he was out of potions, much to the relief of the two heroes.

As Sunny zip-tied him, the villain spat on the ground.

“You just watch yourself, ‘Iron Suit’. Someday, you’ll know what the rest of us suffer through, day in and day out. Then maybe you’ll appreciate-”

WHACK!

“SUNNY!” Fancy exclaimed, more out of surprise and shock than reprimand, though the latter was a part of it. Celestia just looked at him with that all-knowing principal look.

“What? He was getting to you. Believe me, he was getting to me too. Don’t worry, I know all the warnings about concussions and brain trauma, I was careful to aim and hold back before I hit him, he’ll be fine.”

The man in the suit sighed as she came over, putting an arm on his.

“He was a hypocritical and self-serving criminal, Fancy. All that talk about poverty and privilege was just to distract us. If he actually wanted to do something about it, he could've used his potions to heal people or help others, and I don't think he was robbing a bank just to give the money to the poor. You understand that, don't you?"

The man nodded, but his heart wasn't there. Celestia looked at him with concern. "Will you be alright?”

“I… I have much to think about,” he admitted. “I will be at my residence, doing repairs if you need me. I’ve already contacted emergency services, medics and police should be here any minute.”

With that, he flew off, leaving the pink-haired woman looking up at the empty sky. After a moment, she glanced down at the unconscious villain, shaking her head.

“We’re the good guys, Fancy. We have to remember that.”

Fancy Pants leaned back at his workbench, waving aside the magical holograms and robotic tools as he did so he could get a clear view of the empty ceiling. The repairs were simple, really, at least to his brilliant mind. It wasn’t the complexity of the work. He was just… distracted.

“Mrs. Spice?”

“Yes, Mr. Pants?”

“Be a dear and get me the file on the Pants Foundation donations, would you? And if you could, some details about the progress in rehabilitating Tauros and surrounding regions.”

“Of course. Here’s the latest quarterly report from our most recent projects, along with status reports of existing projects worldwide.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Spice. That will be all.”

He lifted up the entire stack of pages at once with a bit of will, making the pages float around him in a sphere as his eyes swept over the legacy of his father, and his father’s father, and all the Pants of generations long past. Not all of that legacy was good, either. He’d spent a good amount of money trying to fix things that his ancestors ruined.

“Am I really the hero?” he asked himself softly, looking around at his penthouse. Normally, he ignored the everyday things that he’d been accustomed to since his youth, but this time, he looked at everything in a new perspective. Antique 13th century Chineighse vase, seventy million. Hand-stitched Saddle Arabian carpet dyed with saffron, ten million. Diamond-studded platinum chandelier, twenty million. How many poor starving children in Zebrica could have had a whole year’s worth of food, just with these items alone?

He knew the others were doing their part, outside crime fighting. The Wholesome’s central beliefs made things like slavery and forced prostitution pretty much their trigger, and with their worldwide and growing membership and, well, hivemind, human trafficking was slowly but surely becoming a non-issue. Celestia was doing her best to spread basic education about health and sanitation whenever she found herself overseas or in a poor neighborhood, and just the existence and presence of her Sunny Days persona was doing wonders to inspire youths to do something more productive and less destructive than joining a gang. Minuette, the last time he heard, was doing a splendid job at using her time-stop abilities to clean up litter and graffiti around the city, not to mention fixing up some of the potholes in the roads where there simply wasn’t the budget to repair infrastructure. And of course, Featherweight’s genius was being put to good use coming up with magitek solutions to just about any problem imaginable. He’d even heard that other students at Ms. Celestia’s high school were doing their part, in particular a certain Tree Hugger, who had somehow discovered ways to use crystals to “rebalance” areas of high pollution and ecological damage to repair the environment.

That left himself. Yes, him, Fancy Pants, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. But was he doing enough philanthropy? Was it going to the right places?

He sat up, pulling up Gillion and doing a quick search for an article he’d glanced over a few years ago. Excellent, still there. He tapped on the link, reading over the page again with more attention to the details. A hundred seventy-five billion a year?

Fancy let out a long breath. All right, maybe that was a little over his budget. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t solve hunger, now did it?

More research. Fancy was mildly surprised that there was, in fact, more than enough food to feed the world. The corners of his mouth turned down as he investigated why starvation still existed, this being the case. Always, the same answer. Poverty. Inequality. Corruption.

So technology wasn’t the answer either. Just building a food-producing machine wasn’t the answer - he’d run a very large number of farmers out of business, for one, and even if he didn’t, the starving would still have no means by which to purchase the food. Could he donate it? Perhaps, but doing so may destroy the livelihoods of local farmers as well. Perhaps the local Earth aspects could cooperate with the Pegasus-aspects.

He snorted. Right. And all that was needed in Tauros was a song and dance number.

The billionaire waved away the holograms again, shoulders slumped. Maybe the villain was right. Maybe he would never understand. Here, in front of him, was one problem that all the wealth he had could not solve.

But that’s not the only thing I have, is it? Come on, old chap, I can do better than this.

Steeling his resolve, Fancy brought the cold, hard numbers back into view, eyes flicking back and forth as he flicked his hand, bringing up page after page, chart after chart. No, he did not have the wealth necessary to end extreme poverty on his own - but perhaps he didn’t have to do it alone.

Filthy Rich’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at the caller ID on his personal cell.

“Yes?”

“Mr. Rich, I hope I am not intruding on anything.”

“Not at all, Mr. Pants. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I have a proposal…”

Author's Note

Sadly, the author isn't sure where to go with this from here, but he wanted it up to provoke some thoughts on approaching major problems—world hunger, poverty, et al.—with the tools provided by a magical revolution.

The Race is Off, by FoME

Jace trudged to the vice principals’ table—which kept the name even with Cadence’s promotion by default—and his Shirish coffee met the table shortly before his face did. His headgem glowed, and three perfect copies of his mug appeared in front of him.

“Aren’t those illusions?” said Glimmer Goodwitch.

“Yes,” came the muffled reply, “but they make me feel better.”

“What did Niv-Mizzet do this week?” said Luna.

“Oh, he’s no worse than usual.” Jace sat up, a thoughtful look on his face. “Well, maybe a little worse. We’re making terribly little progress on that one project I discussed with you.”

Luna shook her head. “We’ve been over this, Jace. It’s Applejack’s choice whether she transfers, same as Wallflower. If you want her help without uprooting her, then I’ll be happy to pass the message along.”

Jace gave a tired nod. “But it’s not work for once. It’s politics.”

The entire table groaned. “Election Day has come and gone,” said Cadence. “Can’t we give it a rest for at least a little bit?”

“Not when your fiancee was running for mayor.”

“Fiancee?” Cadence flinched as though struck. “You didn’t even tell me you were seeing anyone!”

“We met over the summer, on San Ixalan. Say what you will about Principal Mizzet, he can put together one heck of a vacation package.” Jace pulled out his phone, called up a photo, and laid it on the table. The woman on screen had grey skin that brought lichens and granite to mind, and golden eyes that showed the slightest bit of amusement despite her scowling at the camera. Her swimsuit was fairly conservative, but still revealed a physique as toned as Jace's wasn't.

She also had a mix of snake tails and white feathers for hair.

“Vraska Ochran. Cockatrice aspect, apparently,” Jace said before anyone could ask out loud. “Seven girls at Ravnica High have the same magic, and that accounts for the majority in the state.”

Glimmer cleared her throat. “She seems…”

“She has her rough edges. She’s had a rough life. But she’s incredibly passionate about supporting the downtrodden and forgotten.” Jace smiled fondly at his phone as he picked it back up. “As far as I can tell, she just thinks I’m an adorable nerd.”

Cadence nodded. “Adorable nerdiness goes a long way.”

“So, she was in the mayoral race?” Luna shook her head. “Your town has, what, a four-term incumbent? Not exactly a cakewalk.”

“That’s what I told her. Sure enough, it was Mayor Rosewater by a landslide. Now I’m just helping her calm down. When she’s not stress-petrifying things.”

The others shared a concerned look. “Stress-petrifying?” said Cadence.

Jace shrugged. “It's not as bad as it sounds. Besides, I make sure to wear sunglasses after the last time.”

Author's Note

Vraska works in private security. That's the polite term for it, anyway.

Penance Stare, by FoME

And yea, I led her between the buildings
Into a gap where two men could not walk abreast
And she turned to me in fear
And I met her gaze in kind
With fear and hatred
Loathing and revulsion
As I gazed deep into her eyes
I fell into them, down an endless well
Until deep within, I beheld it
A circle that was seven circles
And within, an icon that was seven icons
And the butterflies rested on a gem and a cloud and a Sun
And as one they said:
"To hurt others is to hurt yourself."
And then I knew naught
Until the Sun came to pull me from the darkness
And set my feet on a new path

—Excerpt from the Book of Kindness

"You know, I've never been very religious, but I'm pretty sure holy texts don't normally involve highlighters and ring binders."

Ruby Rose shrugged. "It's a work in progress, o Wellspring of Sanity."

"You keep calling me that, and then you do things like this." Sunset rubbed her temples, which struck her as either incredibly appropriate or highly ironic. "You realize that this was just a matter of Fluttershy nearly getting mugged, right?"

Ruby nodded, her usual wide grin not slipping an inch. "And then a miracle occurred."

Sunset gave a grudging nod. "Okay, yeah, getting a cockatrice aspect to somehow petrify herself was impressive."

"I'm just glad you got her in touch with Pinkie's parents," said Fluttershy, still wrapped in a blanket and Rainbow Dash's arms after the ordeal. Their other friends were still en route to the church, which had conveniently been roughly equidistant to all of them.

"Any quarry would be happy to have her. There's always a better option." After a moment, Sunset said, "Ruby wrote down that last sentence as soon as I said it, didn't she?"

"Yes."

"Yup."

"Sure did!"

Author's Note

After introducing cockatrice aspects, some things are practically obligatory.

And given both this ability and flight, one might call Fluttershy a Ghost Rider in the sky. :raritywink:

Sburban Planning, by Speckle

A young girl stands in her bedroom.

It just so happens that today, the 13th of April, is the young girl's birthday.

Though it was thirteen years ago that she was given life, it is only today that she will be given a—

“Abby, dinner's almost ready!”

Flinching at the disruption of her thoughts, Abstract 'Abby' Cognition refrained from shouting back a response in favor of staying within the confines of her room, keeping every shred of focus on the whiteboard in front of her.

Once upon a time, it had been her father's, but upon being introduced to the latest technology (and being taught how to use it without accidentally hacking his other daughter's email account,) he'd been ready to toss the thing out. It had taken a fair amount of begging for Abby to convince him otherwise and another bout of sweet talk for him to bring it up to her room, where it now stood between her window and the bookcase, right in front of her bed.

She'd mostly used it to assist in homework and her more ambitious science projects, shipping charts for her favorite series, and theory-crafting for future installments of said series... her favorite of which had inspired her most recent obsession.

Well, if she were to get technical, it all really started when she gained the ability to fly and one of her classmates insisted on starting a religion revering CHS's resident reformed mean girl, who had been getting quite a lot of unwanted attention (and citrus) of late. Abby had subscribed to Sunset's EweTube channel out of necessity in the now very magical world she found herself living in, though she was hesitant about accepting a religion that said reformed mean girl didn't seem to care for one bit.

No, Abby had her own notions to deal with shortly after magic returned to the world, and those were currently on display on the whiteboard in front of her.

Seven symbols dominated the board, one positioned above the six arranged in a line beneath it, and under each of those were two smaller symbols, the last of which she'd just finished drawing. Standing back to take a look at the lineup, Abby scrunched her nose as she tried to determine any flaws in the setup before her, the scent of her marker only making her scrunch harder, to the point where her nose was starting to look like a garlic knot.

She'd been working on the concept for a good week now, keeping her bestie up at all hours with theories, swearing them to secrecy until she was ready.

The two symbols beneath the triple diamond mark were a rough gear and a strange spiral that she couldn't capture perfectly.

The second mark was a six-pointed star, and under it a stylized sun and another spiral that wasn't quite as spirally as the first spiral.

Underneath the trio of apples, a symbol that looked like a skull and another that could be generously called a wispy plant.

The fourth mark, a striped lightning bolt, sported a diagonal line with three lines 'dripping' down from it and two squiggly lines.

The penultimate mark, three balloons, sported a pair of crude, curly wings and what might have been a face, if a face could have two mouths.

The final mark, a trio of butterflies, sported a heart and what looked like a circle with three hooks attached.

And, above all of them, a larger, even more stylized sun split down the middle like a yin-yang, devoid of any secondary symbols.

While absolutely none of these symbols were perfectly constructed, what with Abby having the artistic talent of a rock, they were passably recognizable for those in the know. Abby stared at the entire layout for another ten minutes, turning each and every choice over in her head, ignoring the call for dinner and drumming her marker against her arm in contemplation (staining her arm in the process.)

Soon, though, a smile made its way across her lips.

A very big smile.

As the sound of stomps came up the stairs, Abby quite literally flew up to her whiteboard and 'connected' the top sun to the other symbols with a massive curly bracket. Then she scrawled a pair of words, one on either side of the sun, before her sister barged into her room, nearly breaking down the door.

“Abby, get your over-sized butt—”

“Moment!”

Dual Nature's eyes hesitated mid-roll upon catching sight of the familiar sun symbol, the one that was virtually everywhere these days, and the two words that flanked it. Returning said eyes to normal position allowed her to read them.

Lord Muse

Author's Note

The author of Habitrapped was unavailable for comment.

Science Relatives' Memetic Disorder, by FoME

The week of the Harvest Feast was usually a wash at Canterlot High, especially when Pinkie Pie seemed determined to produce enough hand turkeys and construction paper buckled hats for the whole school.

As the rest of their friends watched Pinkie’s antics, Sunset said, “Hey, Twilight, what are your Harvest Feast plans this year?”

Twilight shrugged. “Same as usual, aside from inviting you. Why?”

“Well, last year, the girls found out that I’d been spending my Harvest Feats alone. Like Yuletide, and… well pretty much every holiday, because, you know, extradimensional refugee. So Applejack and Pinkie arranged a…” Sunset trailed off. “What did she call it?”

“A Sunset’s-Not-Evil-So-Let’s-All-Eat-Turkey-and/or-Turkey-Substitutes Friendtacular!” Pinkie said when next she zipped by.

“It definitely says something that I’m not surprised by any of that,” said Twilight.

Sunset chuckled. “Yeah. So basically our whole group went to the Apples’ farm. They’re planning on doing it again this year. Interes—“

“Yes.” Twilight lunged across the table and grabbed Sunset’s jacket by the friendship cones. “Please.”

“Whoa. Okay.” Sunset gently worked Twilight’s hands loose. ”Didn’t think you were that desperate to keep your girlfriend and your parents from having a meal together.”

“It’s not that. When I said ‘same as usual,’ I meant it. Dad’s going to arrange the same menu as always, Mom’s going to try something crazy, and based on the last thirteen Harvest Feasts, there’s a roughly sixty percent chance we’ll need to call the fire department.”

“Deep-fried turkey?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Please, that was five years ago. She decided to drop it in without defrosting it just to see how big the blast radius would be.”

“Sometimes I forget that your mad science is genetic.”

“That’s only a hypothesis.” After a moment, Twilight added, “Even if Grandma Twinkle claims she recreated Power Coil’s death ray.”

Family Recipe, by FoME

Before the accident, cooking was something that happened to other people, and Sunny Flare just got to eat the results. After the accident, she'd learned some basics, but still opted for others' cooking over her own, especially considering that Crystal Prep's cafeteria was as high-quality as the rest of their facilities. She'd never really thought about food preparation as anything more than necessary labor.

Then Lemon Zest invited Sunny to have the Harvest Feast at her house.

Zesty Gourmand's kitchen would have taken up half of Sunny's apartment. Every surface was marble, granite, or sleek stainless steel. Ingredients and utensils that Sunny was only vaguely aware of lay in abundance. She'd looked in the refrigerator once, then spent two hours on the Internet to familiarize herself with the contents.

"Your mother seems awfully thin for a food critic," Sunny had said when she'd first met Mrs. Gourmand.

"Mom only swallows if the food is worthy of her," Lemon had answered.

Zesty herself had made no comment on Sunny's inclusion until she'd offered to help prepare the meal. Then the woman had looked her over, shrugged, and said, "I suppose we can find something for you to do."

Now the woman stood before a stove, watching three different pots saute, simmer, or some other S word that escaped Sunny. Whatever the case, it reminded her of her own actions during the last event of the Friendship Games.

"Lemon," Zesty said, hefting a bag of the girl's namesake fruit in her magic and tossing it in her general direction. "Zest four, juice three."

"Yes, chef," Lemon said as she caught the bag. And that was all she said before attacking the first lemon with a device that Sunny knew was normally used on feet. ("Best zester there is," Lemon had assured her.)

"Sunny, do you think you can chop?"

"Yes, ma— chef." She'd quickly learned that rule. In the kitchen, Zesty was Chef, and thus outranked Sunset Shimmer.

"Excellent." Magic tossed a plastic bag full of celery at her, then delicately brought a knife to her hand. "Two ribs, half an inch or so thickness on each. Be sure to rinse them after you snap them off of the stalk. Don't obsess over getting every piece perfect, so long as they're small enough to cook through."

"You mean why you could never work with Aunt Abby?" said Lemon, who was already well into zesting her third lemon.

"More talk like that and I'll crush the Glitz myself."

"Sorry, chef."

Sunny was able to see the thin smile form on Zesty's lips. "Save it for next year, after the wound's had time to heal. And as her sister, I get the first shot."

After the first stalk—rib?—got a good rinsing, Sunny made her first hesitant slice, then mentally smacked herself and started going a little faster. It wasn't like she could cut her fingers. "Glitz?" she asked. "As in the crackers?"

"Trust me on this, Flare Bear," said Lemon, now well into her juicing, "you have not lived until you have tried my mom's Glitz cracker stuffing."

"Subtlety of flavor is one sign of culinary mastery," said Zesty, moving one pot off the burner just in time for the oven timer to go off. As she rotated muffin tins full of something involving spinach and feta cheese, she said, "Another is taking seemingly mundane ingredients and elevating them to something sublime."

"Also Uncle John dared her to make it work back in the day."

"And I did," Zesty said with no small amount of pride. "On that note, be prepared for him to make countless comments about you dating your mother."

Lemon's hand slipped. A nearly exhausted half of a lemon went flying until Sunny caught it in her own telekinesis. "Mom!"

"A dozen sleeves of Glitz, Lemon. Crush them and we'll see how many more we'll need. Sunny, you can join her when you're through."

The two girls shared a look that spoke volumes, and adamantly ignored what such silent communication might imply. As one, they answered.

"Yes, chef."

Author's Note

Dedicated to my father, the reason why I haven't been on Fimfiction much this week. Not nearly as much of a taskmaster as Zesty Gourmand would likely be, but still king of Thanksgiving. Zesty Gourmand insisting on her family calling her Chef stems from the works of MustLoveFrogs.

Outside Perspective, by Speckle

Another day in the brave new world of magic, another lunch break among the mutated masses, not that Dual Nature gave it much thought.

Sure, her fingers looked weird, but weirdness had been a part of her family life since long before a displaced unicorn-girl had altered reality. As she sat beneath the birch tree closest to CHS's front gate, her one and only friend was digesting one such example of that weirdness along with her lunch.

“So, let me see if I have this straight,” Cherry Crash with her salad in her lap, back to the courtyard, “your sister, the poster girl for the Neighponese Genki Girl trope, has holed herself up in her room for nearly a week now and you've yet to successfully get her to leave, because...”

“She can fly now, Cherry,” Dual Nature frowned, back resting against the tree's trunk. "Trying to keep her standing still was difficult before, it's next to impossible now.”

“And yet she's doing just that, all on her own, in her room," Cherry pointed out. "Have your folks noticed the change?"

Shrugging, the earth aspect girl pulled the second half of her sandwich from its plastic wrap, eyes downcast. “Dad's workload has gotten bigger this month and Mom is off in her own little cyberworld. I mean, Dad thinks the whole 'flight things' is cute, but—" Dual Nature nearly squashed her sandwich as she glared at it. "It's like nobody cares anymore, ever since all this magic stuff happened. So now I have to ride herd on Abby, who is totally ignoring everything outside her room, and no amount of death threats from me have convinced her to get out and see daylight.”

Raising a carefully penciled eyebrow, Cherry watched as Dual Nature slowly unclenched her fingers from her innocent sandwich and take several deep breaths to calm down. “Wow. You really are concerned about this, huh?”

Sandwich forgotten, Dual Nature sighed and looked up. “She's working on something with Dad's old whiteboard.”

“Another science project?”

“No. Cherry, she had Sunset Shimmer's icon drawn on it, surrounded by a bunch of other icons. And she was writing words down next to them all.”

For a few seconds, Cherry couldn't compute her friend's sentence properly. "Uh...."

“Nothing creepy or anything like that,” her friend quickly reassured her. “You know she's not into Shimmerism. That's what makes this whole thing so.... strange.”

Potential religious blasphemy averted, Cherry let out a sigh of relief, getting back on track with the conversation. “Have you, uh, asked her what it's all about?”

“Of course I asked her!” Wincing, Dual Nature quickly dropped her volume. “That's what I did on Day One when I first walked in on her... Well, technically I asked her after dinner.”

“Wha—?”

“She was having a moment.”

“Oh.”

“So, after I asked her, she got this really stupid grin on her face and told me that she figured everything out, that it all made perfect sense, and then zipped up to her room. Dad paid attention long enough to call her Zipper and Mom didn't even look up from her phone.”

Both friends looked at one another for several tense seconds.

"And?" Cherry leaned closer to her friend, expectantly.

"That's pretty much it," Dual Nature shrugged again, looking down at her sandwich. "Whenever I barge in and drag her out long enough to eat three meals a day, I ask her what she's doing and she keeps telling me the same darn thing and nothing else."

"Tells you what?"

"That she's working on something."

Cherry knew Abby was a good kid, but the lack of proper context for the scenario that Dual described made the lime-skinned girl feel even more confused than when the conversation first started. If it wasn't a science project or some creepy occult crap, then what was going on in that bedroom?

Author's Note

It's just a theory. A game ~~theo~~ film ~~theo~~ Er...

Well, it's something, that's for sure. I'm pretty sure Abby isn't sculpting monuments out of mashed potatoes, though Speckle may need to confirm that.

Is It "Viceroy"?, by ArtieStroke and FoME

(ArtieStroke)

Jace sighed, keying open the door to the principal’s office, two cups of coffee steaming in his hands. Telekinesis was useful like that, though his doctor would probably have words with him about his caffeine intake.

The principal’s office was dark, the first strange thing the vice principal of Ravnica High noticed about the room. If nothing else, Niv-Mizzet was here almost more often than Jace himself.

A lamp clicked on, and the chair behind the desk swiveled around, revealing a slight figure of an earth aspect that definitely was not Principal Niv-Mizzet.

“Ral? Get out of that chair, what are you doing?” Jace said, quickly setting his coffees down and frowning at the grinning figure of the school’s guidance counselor. Ral Zarek ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair, shaking his head.

“Jace, Jace, Jace. Didn’t you hear the news from the big man himself?”

Jace’s frown deepened as he took a sip from his first cup of coffee. “What are you on about?”

“Niv’s taking his vacation days, so someone had to be appointed as acting principal.”

There was a moment of silence, hanging thick in the air like the Simic’s latest taffy experiment.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“But I’m the vice principal!”

Ral laughed, kicking his feet up onto the desk and snagging one of Jace’s coffees.

“Well, yeah! Someone still has to keep the school actually running!”

Jace blinked, the admonishment he was about to deal to the coffee thief cut short as he thought about it.

Ral wasn’t incorrect. It wasn't like Jace’s job would change much at all. If anything, Ral was the type of person that seemed to pay attention to people instead of just projects; he had come a long way from some of their ill-conceived experiments back in college.

But it was that very experience Jace had with the man that kept him suspicious.

“I thought you were gunning for that Physics position opening up when Professor Melek retires next year?”

“Eh,” Ral shrugged, and Jace finally had the notion to telekinetically remove his feet from the top of the desk. “When Niv Mizzet says ‘run the school’ you say ‘how many miles’ and then thank him for the privilege.”

Jace sighed. “Yeah, that tracks.”

“Aaaanywho.” Ral jumped out of the chair, briskly walking past the vice principal and clapping him on the shoulder. “I’ve got some principaling to do. Your daily paperwork’s on your desk; have fun, buddy.”

And then he was out the door, faster than Jace could shout, “You’re paying for that coffee, Zarek!”

Jace huffed, taking another swing of the fresh brew. Ral was right; someone had to actually run this school.

(FoME)

Fuchsia blinked. Out of all the stories Wallflower had told her of Ravinca High, this one was easily in the top five in terms of sheer what-the-actual-crap. (Of course, given Fuchsia's Trixie-adjacent life, only brought it into the top twenty such experiences over her entire life.) "So... your principal steps out almost totally unannounced and no one even notices?"

"Apparently, Vice Principal Beleren is the one who actually takes care of all of the administrative stuff."

"Then what does your principal actually do?"

Wallflower shrugged. "From what I've heard, vaguely sinister stuff that you need an IQ of at least three hundred to fully follow. You know, like pulling me out of Canterlot High. He's probably off making deals with shadowy powers or constructing a doomsday device or something."

"And he's a high school principal," Fuchsia deadpanned.

"Hey, you have Mr. Discord," said Wallflower. "And according to the rumors I've heard, Principal Celestia's a literal superhero."

Fuchsia took a few moments to process that. "I can't tell if the world's craziness snuck up on me, or if I just don't notice because it still doesn't compare to Trixie."

"A little of both?"

"Sounds about right."

Shadowed Reflections, by FoME

One part of Crystal Prep Cadence didn't have to change was its cafeteria. Like Cinch, she knew that a good diet was a necessary foundation for healthy young bodies and minds, and neither felt the students couldn't enjoy those meals as well.

"I can't believe you talked me into a bag lunch," said Sunny Flare as she sat at the top students' usual table.

Of course, there were always multiple paths to enjoyment.

"Dude, it's my mom's Harvest Feast leftovers." Lemon Zest extracted a monstrosity of turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, Glitz cracker stuffing, and more besides barely wedged between two slices of rye bread, holding it up like she was showing off a prize for a game show. "A sandwich like this would probably go for thirty bucks at a high-end restaurant."

"I thought you'd get sick of it after having the whole weekend to eat it."

Lemon flinched back as though struck. "One does not simply get sick of Zesty Gourmand's cooking. Its pot lids are guarded by more than just steam—"

Sugarcoat's lunch tray cut her off as it slammed on the table. "I'm not sure what the context of this is, but it's probably stupid."

"Thank you." Sunny happened to look at Lemon. Not to see if she were actually offended; just because. Which meant she saw the smirk. "Oh, don't you start with that again."

Sugarcoat raised an eyebrow. "I know I don't want to know, but I'm still curious."

Lemon shook her head. "Nah, I'd have to start over way too many times. I'll wait until everyone's here."

"Or you could just not say anything," Sunny said as she rubbed her temples.

"C'mon, what fun would that be?"

"I would get some enjoyment out of it."

"Do I even want to know?" said Second Person as he and Sour Sweet sat next to one another.

"No," said Sugarcoat, sparing a smile for Moondancer as she took her seat. "But Lemon's going to tell us anyway."

"It's why you all love me."

Sour Sweet smirked. "Some more than others."

Indigo Zap gave a familiar smirk at the resulting twin winces, though her tone was much calmer than it might have been before the Friendship Games. "You walked right into that one, Lemon."

"Yeah, I did." Lemon shrugged. "So! My little pet theory: We are the dark reflections of Twilight's CHS friends."

Silence reigned as the table considered that for a few moments. "That is moronic on multiple levels." Sugarcoat was, as ever, the regicide.

"At first glance, yes. But actually, from a Harmonious, nonsubjective viewpoint, it's almost not bullshit. You, for example, represent Brutal Honesty."

Sugarcoat drummed her fingers on the table for a few moments. Finally, she said, "I can't dispute that."

"Indigo's what you might call Overzealous Loyalty. Like, disturbingly so. No offense, Gogo, but your 'mistress' deal may be worse than the whole god complex thing."

Indigo shrugged. "You weren't there. I don't expect you to understand."

"Fair. Sour, you're... I mean, at first I was gonna say superficial—"

Sour glared at Lemon as though trying to kill her with her thoughts. And, going by how her wingbow flared, possibly her magic.

"Yeah, that's why I didn't. Unstable Kindness work for you? You know, the kind where you may or may not have Schroandinger's knife behind your back?"

Sour's lips curved up. She exposed her teeth. It felt more like a threat display than an actual smile. "Sure, describe me in two words, one of which you've decided needs to match the only pegasus aspect in that group who isn't Indigo with a dye job. That's not insanely reductive or anything."

Indigo glanced at her. "Isn't that necklace supposed to help with your issues?"

"Oh, it is! I choose to be this angry right now."

Lemon shrugged. "I'll keep workshopping it."

"And how about about Sunny?" said Sour.

Lemon gave her an incredulous look. "Seriously? Flare Bear's easy. She's Grudging Generosity."

The rest of the table exchanged glances.

"After the way she puts up with you?" said Indigo.

"Maybe if Patience were an Element," said Second Person.

"And even then, it'd be Saintly Patience."

The entire group went silent after those words left Moondancer's lips.

Lemon beat Sugarcoat to the punch with a belly laugh. "Oh damn! Who says moonburn's just theoretical?" She held up her hand. "Up top, girl!"

After a moment, Moondancer gingerly completed the high five. "Um... thank you?"

"So, what about you?" said Sugarcoat.

"Please, I'm easy. Inappropriate Laughter, QED. Heck, given how Moony's Twilight 2: Twilight Harder, we even have an even more Academic Magic."

Moondancer raised a finger. "Isn't the sixth element Moderation?"

"Meh. I'm going by Horseworld Elements here."

"I'm noticing a marked lack of Sunset Shimmer analogues," said Sunny.

"She's kind of her own reflection. Besides, do you want to see a jerkass mirror of the Glorious Proclaimer?"

"Point. Inasmuch as any of this isn't ridiculous."

Lemon beamed. "But I haven't even gotten to the best part!"

Sunny tilted her head. "I thought that was it."

"Naw, I came up with something as I was telling you all, 'cause we've got one more element—lowercase e—that really ties it all together." Lemon pointed at Second Person.

The others followed her finger, then looked at each other to see if anyone had been able to follow the Lemon logic. Everyone seemed equally lost. "What about me?" said Second.

"Simple. You're our cute male sidekick who we forget about half the time."

That got a chorus of assent from most of the table.

Second gave an uncertain grin. "I feel both flattered and insulted."

"So nothing you’re not used to,” said Sugarcoat.

"It’s weird when it doesn’t come from Sour."

I'll Be Your Guide, by Speckle

It was Monday.

Sunset Shimmer hated Mondays.

There just aren't enough hours in the weekend were her very unsaintly thoughts as she all but stomped out of the so-called Church of the Divine Bacon Horse, looking to introduce her head to the nearest wall. It was becoming a bit of a habit whenever she dealt with her church's so-called pope. Not for the first time, she regretted her "first come, first appointed" approach there.

Today, however, was different.

Today, a girl stepped into her path with a very determined look on her face.

Not awe or reverence. Determination, plain and simple.

This made Sunset pause a couple steps away from her. For a moment, she thought about side-stepping the stranger and continue on to the nearest wall, but something about the sudden shift in atmosphere made her give the girl another look.

She only just reached Sunset's shoulders, wearing a simple purple jacket that brought out what parts of her rose-colored skin weren't covered by her long-sleeved blouse and baggy jeans. That sagginess looked more to be a mistake in size rather than a deliberate fashion choice. The girl had an unruly mop of bluish-violet hair and a ruffle of feathers along the back of her neck that showed her aspect, but Sunset was currently looking her straight in her pale purple eyes, which were likewise locked on Sunset's own.

What now? Sunset tried to gauge what this girl was thinking, the look in her eyes not changing as she peeled her arms away from where they'd been folded against her chest...

And handed Sunset an innocent-looking folder that was stuffed to almost dictionary thickness.

Blinking in surprise, Sunset stared at the folder for a good five seconds before she finally remembered she had hands, taking the folder from the girl and glancing down at the title, written in what looked to be highlighter.

Something to Think About
For Sunset Shimmer
By Abstract Cognition

“By the way, I think the church name is stupid too.”

Looking up in surprise, Sunset saw the girl's stoic expression shift to a big, friendly grin.

“Your hair looks more ketchup and mustard than bacon.”

Sunset... didn't have a ready answer for that.

“If you have any questions, just let me know.” And with that, the girl—Abstract Cognition, apparently—gave her a friendly wave, turned around, and walked back down the sidewalk.

Mouth still hanging open, Sunset noted the image of what was very likely the girl's icon stickered onto her backpack: a stack of ordinary looking books with one open and propped up against the rest.

Her brain finally rebooting itself, Sunset blinked again and closed her mouth, looking down at the folder now in her hands. Hesitating for only a second, she opened it and read what was written on the first page.

“This compilation of notes contains property from a wonderful webcomic created by Anderson Horsey. I do not own his work, I am merely drawing parallels between it and the new reality that we find ourselves living in.

First thing's first if you want to understand anything else beyond this point: Let me tell you about Habitrapped...”

Author's Note

This presumably led to Sunset consulting Lemon Zest on the matter.

>Sunset: Fondly regard dissertation.

Disservice Charge, by FoME

John Q. Discord:

You may be surprised to receive this letter and the enclosed bill, especially given how you don't even have a contract with us. However, you might not be. You did, after all, use our network to make calls on objects including but not limited to a stove top, a banana, a deck of playing cards, a chunk of wood, and your own hand over the course of the last month. Given how our technicians are still trying to understand how we collected this data, much less what to charge you for it, we settled on a flat five thousand dollar "headache fee." Continuing to abuse our service in this way will be met with the same, along with possible legal action. Rest assured, if this isn't yet illegal, our legal team will do its utmost to make it so.

Nickel N. Dime
Chief Financial Officer, P-Mobile

Mr. Discord found himself smiling once he finished reading the letter. "I have the strangest desire to have this framed."

"So, does this mean you're actually going to start using your phone?" said Adagio, flicking her way through the rest of the day's mail.

He smirked. "Of course not. I'll just make sure I don't step on any more telecom toes for a bit. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see what quality of photos I can take with an actual potato."

Author's Note

For those keeping track, that's a burner phone, a bananaphone, a calling card, a xylophone, and, as FredMSloniker noted, a handset. :trollestia:

Bitter Brew, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

The top Shadowbolts quickly established their lunch table seating arrangement in their senior year. Lemon and Sunny, who shared a pre-lunch class close to the cafeteria, sat down first and faced the lunch line so they could see the others coming. Sugarcoat and Moondancer sat at their left, Sour Sweet and Second Person at their right, and and Indigo Zap sat opposite them. No explicit planning had gone into that, just force of habit that had quickly grown more unbreakable than the decades-old traditions Principal Cadence was working to overturn.

Usually.

Moondancer hesitated when she saw Lemon and Sunny sitting opposite from one another on the first day back after the holiday break. Sugarcoat did no such thing, plopping herself down in her usual spot, looking at Lemon, and saying, “So, what did you do?”

Lemon threw up her hands. “I didn’t do anything! Sunny’s just being—“ She bit her lip and slumped in her seat. Sunny Flare simply crossed her arms and looked away.

“She’s not talking to you?”

“No. But I still didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Oh yeah, you’d definitely know,” Sour Sweet said brightly as she took her seat. “We all know your reputation for foresight and sensitivity, Lemon.”

Second settled in next to her, his glances showing he was uncomfortably aware of how close he was to a subcritical Sunny Flare. “So, uh, what did she do that made you stop talking to her?”

Sunny just huffed out a breath and turned up her nose.

“Huh.” Indigo looked at Sunny in her usual seat, shrugged, and sat next to Lemon. “So, what did you do?”

Lemon buried her face in her hands. “Why does everyone assume I did something wrong?”

“Lemon, I spent months in a realm where every creature that could play innocent did so. You’re not fooling anyone.” Indigo began poking Lemon in the ribs with every word. “Now. What. Did. You. Do?”

“Okay, okay!” Lemon tugged her chair back, though she couldn’t get out of poking range without colliding with Sour Sweet, who had index fingers poised to flank her. “Yeesh, is this what it’s like around me?”

“Yes,” chorused almost the entire table. Even Sunny nodded.

“Wow, harsh. Look, all I know is that when we went out on Sunday, Sunny was getting cold, so I offered to get her a cup of three bean soup. And when I did, bam, silent treatment.”

Five heads turned to Sunny. She narrowed her eyes and growled out, “She got me a vanilla soy latte.”

It only took seconds for everyone to follow the Lemony thought process, groan, and start pelting Zest with balled-up napkins. She did nothing to defend herself. “See, this is more what I expected.”

No one else said anything.

“Oh, come on!”

(Masterweaver)

"You coffee fanatics," Indigo scoffed. "Flavors and beans and sizes, it doesn't really..."

She trailed off at the series of very stern looks pointed her way.

"No. I shall never touch caffeine. You know this. You all know this! Don't you even—no, no, Sunny I can see you're starting a lecture plan—NO, STOP THINKING OF IT, NO. NO! Don't you dare pull out that phone—put down the Internet search—NO!"

Author's Note

Love means never having to say you're sorry for terrible, terrible puns. Even when you should.

That Time I Didn't Get Reincarnated as Anything, by FoME

Despite Sunset's own wishes, she was growing used to a constant, faint susurrus of prayer in the back of her mind. It didn't actually interfere with anything, and was simple to tune out. Her own higher senses made sure she paid attention to those entreaties that she truly needed to answer through the same continuity-twisting methods that let her honorary castle-cousin alert Princess Twilight about friendship emergencies. Those prayers got amplified for the benefit of both the tiny sliver of her trying to live a normal life and the supplicant. Still, that didn't mean Sunset had to like the background noise.

Taking that into account, Trixie walking up to the Rainbooms' lunch table and proclaiming "Where is Trixie's isekai adventure?" for the whole cafeteria to hear could be seen as a welcome contrast.

Sunset, for her part, just blinked at Trixie for a moment before saying, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Trixie will not accept your apology without an explanation, Sunset Shimmer," Trixie trixied, crossing her arms trixily. "Trixie distinctly recalls the latest episode of your vlog, wherein you discussed how reality was patching itself together with bits and pieces of other worlds, some of which are reflected in pop culture."

Twilight sighed. "I told you that episode was a bad idea."

Sunset gave her a sidelong look. "Only after the comments started coming in. We agreed that people deserved to know when we made it."

"Yes, when I foolishly assumed that the majority of people could handle that kind of knowledge."

"Trixie is still here," said Trixie.

"So?" answered Rainbow Dash.

Rarity scoffed, keeping it down to under two seconds. "Really, Rainbow, there's no call for rudeness."

"Isn't there?"

Applejack spoke up before Trixie could. "Pretty sure Sunset ain't takin' custom orders, Trixie. An' what th' hay is 'ee-suh-kai'?"

"It's an anime subgenre where someone gets whisked away from their mundane life and enters a fantastic world, with varying amounts of adventure, romance, and wish fulfillment." Fluttershy gave a small pout as she took in everyone else's incredulous stares. "I do have hobbies besides animals."

"So it's basically the opposite of Sunset's life," said Twilight. Sunset snorted with laughter at that, playfully punching Twilight's shoulder.

Trixie stomped her foot on the linoleum. "And Trixie wants to know when she gets her turn!"

Sunset held up a hand. "Okay, first of all, we've already had multiple people find themselves in more magical realms. Ditzy Doo came back under her own power, thankfully, but Indigo Zap had to be rescued."

"And it wasn't easy," added Fluttershy.

"Secondly, why do you even need to go somewhere more magical? The magic came to you."

"And everyone else, especially you!" Trixie threw up her hands, sending a colorful string of handkerchiefs flying up only to land limply on her hat. "How is Trixie supposed to be the heroine of her own story when a god and her angels eat lunch three tables down from me?"

Sunset squirmed at that. Fluttershy narrowed her eyes. "You just want the harem fantasy, don't you?"

"It would be a nice bonus," Trixie said without a pause.

"And that would be the point friendship outweighs shame."

"Wha— Fuchsia!"

Fuchsia Blush shook her head as she began dragging Trixie back to their table, the point of one ear pinched in her magic. "Come on, Trix, it's for your own good."

"Gah! These things are sensitive!"

As the cafeteria crowd shifted focus to the Illusions' antics, Pinkie said, "Are we sure Trixie doesn't already have a harem?"

"Trixie likes guys!" cried Trixie.

Lavender Lace, still seated at their table, gave a mournful nod.

F'nope, by FoME

Flash Sentry didn't like to think of himself as vain, but he could admit to himself that keeping his car polished to a spotless shine wasn't exactly practical when he could fly almost anywhere in Canterlot in about the time it'd take to drive there. Still, he happily spent Sunday afternoons caring for his ride in his driveway whenever possible.

"Flash?" Of course, that made it all the easier for childhood friends to find him.

He looked up from the hood of his car. "What's uhhh..." Flash looked at the Carousel Boutique bag. Then at Ditzy. Then back to the bag. Then back to Ditzy.

She gave him a nervous grin and thrust the bag towards him. "Happy birthday?"

"Thanks?" he said with just as much uncertainty, then took the bag with perhaps even more. "That's not until Wednesday, but..." He trailed off as he moved aside the tissue paper and got a good look at the bag's contents.

There was lace. There were frills. There was crinoline. Flash wasn't sure what crinoline was, but he was certain it was present in the dress barely contained by that diamond-marked paper sack.

He was also certain that his icon was embroidered just under the bodice.

"I, uh..." After a moment, Flash's brain rebooted enough for him to tear his eyes away from the dress and say, "I feel like there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. Please tell me there is."

"W-well..." Seeing that Ditzy was just as embarrassed as he felt was strangely reassuring. "See, lately I've been noticing some, uh, trends."

Flash felt he should contribute something at that point. "Trends." He kicked himself mentally.

"Yeah. Among, uh, other yous." Ditzy looked down at her twiddling thumbs. "You know, in nearby universes."

"Other mes." The kicking got harder.

"Metal Cog."

"Metal Cog?" Flash blinked. Ditzy smirked. Both laughed. He put down the bag and said, "So, uh, these other Flashes are, um, cross-dressing?"

"Among other things," Ditzy said with a blush. "It, uh... Well, some of them looked so miserable before they started, well..."

"Flouncing?"

"Flouncing's a good word for it. But yeah, when they did, they seemed so happy. Some were beating themselves up over being happy, but still." Ditzy gave a crooked grin. "I just wanted you to know that I'm there for you, no matter what you're... you know, into."

"Well, uh..." Flash cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. He unconsciously smoothed the feathers back down and said, "I appreciate the thought. Really. But..."

"You're not..." Ditzy bit her lip. "Confused?"

"Oh, I'm definitely confused right now. Just not the way you mean."

"Oh. Got it." Ditzy looked down. "Sorry."

"I really do appreciate what you were trying to do." Flash gave his usual winning grin as he offered her the bag. "Why don't you exchange this, get something for yourself?"

After a few moments of eying the bag, Ditzy accepted it. "Well... I did keep the receipt. You know, just in case."

Flash nodded, his smile widening. "There you go."

Ditzy returned the nod and spread her wingbow. "Bye, Flash," she said as she ascended.

Flash started to wave, but paused when a thought crossed his mind. "Hey, uh, before you go..."

"Yeah?"

"Why were you checking out all those other mes anyway?"

Ditzy just stared at him for a few moments, mouth agape and cheeks aflame. Then she collapsed in on herself, dropping the Boutique bag in the process.

Naturally, the dress spilled out.

Naturally, Flash's mother pulled up the driveway that very moment.

She looked at the dress, paying particular attention to under the bodice, then looked back at Flash. She gave an attempt at a smile and said, "Dear, just know that I support you no matter what your lifestyle."

Flash buried his face in his palms and groaned.

Author's Note

A loving tribute to the ongoing Skirtsian Renaissance.

Mountaintop Storm, by FoME

Cloudsdale was a strange town, a trading post and rest stop on the western edge of the mountains that had decided it was going to stick around long after most of its kind withered and died when the railroads stitched the country together. Denvertigo might have billed itself as the Mile-High City, but as number two, Cloudsdale tried harder.

"And if any of you understand that reference," Coach Wind Rider would say at the start of every season, "I am both surprised and impressed."

Still, strange town or no, some things were universal. That included locker room gossip, especially between two of the soccer team's stars. "It's funny," said Rolling Thunder.

Lightning Dust quirked an eyebrow. "What? The fact that you're still forcing that Hosstralian accent after living here for three years?"

"I don't tell you how to live your life, Dusty. And no. I was thinkin' about how every football team worth a damn in this county basically has the same girl playin' on it."

Lightning Dust found herself trying to follow Rolling's thoughts and, well wary of making that mistake again, just said, "What do you mean?"

"Proper football, mind you, not Amareican handegg."

"I got that, Rolling. What do you mean 'the same girl'?"

Rolling snorted. "You should know. Yer one of 'em."

"What?"

"Aw, you know. Short little spunky type, feathers comin' out 'er neck, runs circles 'round the whole other team."

Lightning glared up at Rolling. "Don't think I missed the jab at my height, you freakin' Llamazon."

"Didn't think y' would. But think about it. We've got you, obviously. Crystal Prep's got the blue-haired bitch."

Lightning smirked at that. "It's Crystal Prep. You'd need to be more specific than that, but I know who you're talking about. Her name's Indigo Zap."

"Don't suppose you got 'er number, too?" Rolling said with a smirk.

"Really?"

"Can't blame a girl for tryin'. But yeah, you and her practically look like twins. Then Ravnica's got that girl with all the piercin's who turns every game into a gymnastics routine."

"Judith something. You know, one of those weird Stirropean last names that's not even a word anymore."

"Right, her."

Lightning shook her head. "I'll give you Indigo, but that girl's a real stretch. I haven't done cartwheels on a soccer field since I was six."

"Ah, yer just jealous you can't pass the ball to yourself."

That got a noncommittal grunt. "What about Hoofington?"

"What about Hoofington? I said every soccer team worth a damn. Might as well ask about Everton."

"Point. So that leaves... Oh." Lightning glared. "Her."

Rolling nodded. "Yup. Canterlot an' yer middle school sweetheart."

Lightning took a deep breath before she trusted herself to speak. "Rolling, you're my best friend. You're out, you're proud, and I'm happy for you. I was there for you when you realized it and had your back when you told your parents."

"Big fat anticlimax that, wasn't it?"

"My point is not all of us are in the closet. I like guys. I literally have a date with Cirrus Curl tomorrow. Rainbow Dash was not and will never be my girlfriend. Knock it off."

Rolling shrugged. "But you do agree she's their spunky li'l pegasus aspect on th' pitch."

Lightning just scowled and started shoving her feet back in her sneakers.

After a few moments of heavy silence, Rolling said, "Dusty? Don't tell me yer still mad at her for movin' to Canterlot."

"That's not why I'm mad at her," Lightning said, staring at her shoelaces.

"Uh huh. When's the last time you even talked to each other?"

"If she's not going to reach out, I don't see why I should."

"You do know she'd prob'ly say the same thing if I asked her, right?"

"So?" Lightning still didn't look up.

"Right." They finished changing in silence.

Three weeks later, when Lightning found herself at a "Happy Cloudsdale Middle School BFFs Reunion Party!" she knew exactly who to blame. Especially when she walked up to her and said, "For th' record, you can rib me about th' accent now."

"Damn right I can."

That Went Disappointing-LIII, by FoME

Author's Note

This is a bit dated, yes, but it's not getting any less so.

That Went Disappointing-LIII, by FoME

It was a truth universally acknowledged, even after the world changed, that no one liked Mondays. Even Twilight had to admit that she'd rather plan out her own curriculum for improved socialization, understanding of magic, and general study than go through the motions in classes she'd already mastered.

But this Monday seemed especially noisome to some members of the Lunch Table of the Pantheon. (Sunset had all but commanded her worshipers to stop calling it that. It hadn't helped.) Three scowled down at their lunches like they'd insulted their mothers.

Pinkie Pie skipped her way there, tray in hand. "Hiya, girls! How were your weekends?"

Fluttershy, Twilight, and Sunset all gave her looks of varying levels of nervousness. The others just grunted.

"Yeesh, tough crowd. What hit you guys with the the grumpy stick? I thought you were all excited about the Ultra Bowl!"

Twilight blinked. "Oh. That was this weekend?"

"You wouldn't think it," spat Dash. "That game was a freaking nothing-burger!"

Applejack nodded. "Double nothin'-burger with a side o' hooey is what it was."

Rarity set down the fork she'd been using to mutilate her salad and sat up. "Darlings, you're being far too kind. That absolute travesty of a football game was a painstakingly prepared nothing étouffée served on a bed of wilted competitive balance, liberally seasoned with overblown production values, and tainted with the bitter aftertaste of hypocritical overofficiation. And as if to add insult to injury, the Loyalists won again." After a moment of everyone else at the table staring at her, she cleared her throat and said, "Er, not that I—"

Applejack shook her head, a faint smile on her lips. "Rares, that was our date last night. Y'ain't foolin' no one by sayin' y' don't care about football."

"With your dad, it's in your blood," added Dash.

Pinkie raised a finger. "So are we just going to ignore Rarity's crown of plastic forks, or..."

"I was going to bring up the halo of cutlery if no one else was," said Twilight.

"Hmm?" Rarity blinked and noticed something pass by in the top of her vision. She whipped out her compact a moment later to see half a dozen forks orbiting her head, along with the occasional bluish crystal, all wrapped in her magic. The tableware went back to the table and the crystals evaporated into nothing even as she watched. "Oh. Goodness. I hadn't realized I felt quite that strongly about the whole debacle."

"Hey, I'm right there with you," said Dash. Applejack nodded.

"That would explain the wave of dissatisfaction that swept the nation last night," said Sunset. "Still, it's not like there were riots like last year."

"Yeah," Applejack said with a shrug, "well, it helped that—"

Rarity elbowed her in the ribs. "We found a different and unspecified outlet for any and all frustration we might have felt at the time." A few forks began to orbit her head again. "Which we needn't elaborate upon."

Applejack dragged her hat over her face. "I was jus' gonna say it helped that we wasn't expectin' much."

"Oh." Rarity took the looks the others were giving her and felt herself flush. "Oh dear."

Covert Opera, by FoME

“They say you have nothing to fear.
They say you’re safe for life.
But in the moment you relax
Then. Goes in. The knife.”

Amid a smattering of uneasy applause, a Miss Trostani—Wallflower still couldn’t tell the triplets apart and she was pretty sure they swapped classes when no one was looking—beamed at the navy-skinned poet. “Wonderful work, Etrata. A lovely critique of the air of distrust that can form all too quickly in this era of easy anonymity.”

Etrata rolled her slit-pupiled eyes. “Yeah. Totally what I was going for.” She flipped the hood of her sweatshirt back up and slouched into her chair, shrouding her face in her shadowy wings.

Miss Trostani just gave an indulgent chuckle before looking around the room. “Alright, who would like to go next for the poetry assignment?”

Wallflower took a deep breath, pushed down her magic as best she could, squeezed her eyes shut so she wouldn’t have to actually look at anyone, and raised her hand.

After a brief eternity, she heard, “Wallflower? Oh, how wonderful to see you volunteer! Please, do go ahead!”

Wallflower could feel her hands shaking as she stood. She focused on her breathing and said, “I’ve actually been working on this piece for a while. Since before I transferred. I hope that’s okay.”

“Of course, dear. We’d all love to hear something you’ve worked so hard on.” Miss Trostani cleared her throat. “Though it might help if you opened your eyes to read it.”

“No, it’s fine. I have it memorized.” One last deep breath, and Wallflower began.

“You don’t see me fitting in.
I’m sitting here alone…”

Nothing exemplified the nature of Ravnica High quite like a lunch period. Only the callowest of freshmen tried to take the direct route from one end of the building to the other in the middle of the day. Anyone who did make the attempt would find a traffic jam of hundreds if not thousands of people eating lunch wherever there was enough room to sit.

As such, when White Hat couldn’t find Wallflower, she just made her way to the conspicuously empty table. “Nice work with the suggestion,” she said, apparently to the empty air. “You need to work on the whole ‘blending in with the scene’ thing, though.”

A groan came from an area White’s eyes refused to focus on. A bit of mental effort, and she could see Wallflower slumped facedown on the table.

“Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.” White said, holding out a chocolate chip cookie the size of her hand. After a few seconds of no response, she started poking Wallflower with it.

The resulting midpoke snatch ended up tearing the treat in half. “I broke into a musical number in front of my entire language arts class,” Wallflower said before stuffing a decent chunk of the cookie into her mouth.

“Yeah, Etrata made sure to tell me. She was actually smiling. You know how impressive it is to actually make that girl feel an emotion? Especially a positive one?”

Wallflower just kept scowling and chewing.

“It’s not like you show up on cell phone video,” said White. “No chance this’ll go viral.”

“So it’ll just be the school that hears about it and not the whole world.” Wallflower raised a single finger and waved it in the air. “Yay.”

White sighed. “Look, I’ll level with you: I don’t know about most of the school, but all of us in the Ismeri Project? We were honestly expecting this kind of thing.”

That got Wallflower to sit up and look at her. “Huh?”

White shrugged. “Well, you did transfer from Canterlot High. We figured that whole place is basically a giant musical 24/7.”

“That’s…” Wallflower trailed off. “Well, okay, there was the flash mob in the cafeteria, and the whole Battle of the Bands, and… It’s not going to help if I say that the singer at the Friendship Games was from Crystal Prep, will it?”

“Not really, no,” said White, holding back the laughter that she knew wouldn’t help.

Wallflower slumped backwards until she was looking up at the ceiling. “So, what now? Just accept that I’m going to be the singing Canterlot girl for the rest of the year?”

“That or you could use it as a way to practice your magic. Why wait for everyone to forget your faux pas when you can make them forget?”

Wallflower squirmed at the thought. “That seems really unhealthy in the long term. For everyone involved.”

White shrugged. “Hey, all things in moderation, especially moderation. And if you want to the school to remember you as a Bridleway star we stole from the Rakdos...”

“Magic practice it is.” Wallflower's hair made the phrase “Red as a tomato” especially apt.

White kept her grin down to a reasonable one for the circumstances. “Thought so.”

Tachyon Approach, by FoME

Adagio Dazzle had been many things over the centuries, but after the first few rounds with Mr. Discord, she found herself hesitating to add lab assistant to the list. Not least because, by right of seniority, it meant Sonata could give her orders.

"Just wear the goggles, Adagio. For your own sake." Sonata was already wearing a pair of the absurd things, big, bulky, and with black and white spirals on the lenses like an old mesmerist's hypnotic disc.

She could give orders, but that didn't mean Adagio had to obey them. "No. Even putting aside what the strap will do to my hair, I bet those monstrosities don't even do anything besides make us look ridiculous."

Mr. Discord poked his head through the wall of the NAHTI. There was no hole, just his neck phasing through the drywall, ringed by an eerie radiance. He too wore a pair of the goggles, the spirals in his pair slowly rotating. "That is merely a side benefit, Ms. Dazzle. I really must insist you follow proper safety procedures." His hand popped out of the wall as well, tapping a sign that Adagio knew hadn't been there before.

"'Caution: Retroactive Materials,'" she read tonelessly. "'You may have already been contaminated.' Cute. Especially the little backwards-bending arrow. But I have been holding on to every shred of dignity I could ever since those six blasted ponies tricked us into this world, and I don't intend on giving up any if I don't have to."

Sonata cleared her throat. "Um, Adagio? It was only two ponies who tricked us into this world."

There was a lengthy pause. A very confused tumbleweed bounced down the hallway. Finally, Adagio snatched the goggles out of Sonata's hands and snarled out, "Aria never hears about this."

"What a coincidence," observed Mr. Discord. "That's very nearly what she said last week."

Author's Note

Note: If you're wondering what Sonata meant by that, see The One That Shot Away. Adagio is right, just for the wrong timeline.

Sidesaddle Benefits, by FoME

Twilight considered Sunset's lunch tray. She wasn't the only one; apparently there was a growing Internet subcommunity who tried to use Sunset's dietary choices as a way to tell the future. Aside from foretelling what she was about to eat, it worked about as well as any other fortune telling method.

As Sweetie Belle walked by, Twilight mentally amended that to any other nonmagical fortune telling method. She was still getting used to that exception.

She shook her head and refocused on Sunset's tray. "I take it this is another digestive cheat, like the hay sandwich you brought in last week?"

Sunset smirked. "Don't knock it 'til you try it." Her expression shifted to a small, confused frown, "But seriously, what do you mean? I got a salad today."

"Yes. A salad and five cupcakes. You can't tell me that you maintain that figure on that kind of diet without some kind of magic getting involved."

Sunset shrugged. "Seriously not sure what you mean, Twi. I've got all the major food groups: Greens, carbs, chocolate..."

Pinkie beamed. "I like this food pyramid!"

Twilight felt an eyelid twitch. She drew in a breath for a full-tilt rant, but let it go when she noticed Rarity shaking her head. "Don't bother, darling," Rarity sighed. "Sunset's always been able to eat like this. It was one of the things I most despised about her back during her less pleasant days."

"It was just about the one thing I didn't!" said Pinkie.

Twilight looked around the table and got confirming nods from everyone else. She put her hands to her temples. "Okay, just... what?"

"I feel like I'm missing something," said Sunset.

Rainbow Dash quirked an eyebrow. "You ever hear the phrase 'empty calories'?"

"Of course. I remember when Empty Calorie was named Royal Baker. The princess wept tears of joy as she knighted him with a ceremonial pie server."

Applejack looked into her eyes long enough to make more than half of the table uncomfortable before giving a low whistle. "Shoot, you ain't kiddin', are ya?"

"Princess Celestia took baked goods very seriously."

The rest of the table took a few moments to process that. Twilight broke the silence. "I take it that baked goods are a staple of the pony diet?"

Sunset gave a slow nod, confusion still clear on her face. "Yeah. And here."

"How long have you spent in the vicinity of Pinkie Pie?"

Everyone looked at the girl in question, who was idly decorating Sunset's cupcakes with sprinkles that she hadn't had a moment earlier. Probably. "Okay, yeah," said Sunset, "I guess that would skew the available data. But what's your point?"

Applejack sighed. "Sugar makes normal humans fat, Sunset."

Horror slowly worked its way across Sunset's face. "What?"

"What?" echoed Pinkie.

"I did say 'normal.'"

"Oh yeah!"

"It's more like excess calories make humans fat as the body puts the unused energy into long-term storage and baked goods are incredibly calorie-dense," added Twilight, "but that's the gist of it, yes."

Sunset shrugged. "I guess my pony metabolism carried over. Still, magic's a lot more calorie-intense than you might think. You've probably all noticed that by now."

After this got several blank looks, Fluttershy said, "We are teenagers. We were already hungry all the time."

"Point. But still, why would you make so much sugary food if you don't need that energy and it's not full of vital gluconutrients?"

Twilight leaned into her. Like a friend. That was definitely something friends did. "This is one of those times where you're having trouble understanding something disharmonious, isn't it?"

Sunset mutely nodded, tears beginning to well in her eyes.

"It's okay, Sunset. Humans don't always make the best choices in life, that's all."

"So do ponies not get diabetes or what?" said Dash.

Sunset blinked. "Dia-what now?"

That night, she wept for the collective pancreases of mankind.

Author's Note

Dedicated to Eroraf86's grandmother, who recently passed away from diabetes.

The Couple Who Scries Together, by FoME

Sweetie Belle and Button Mash were not a normal couple by any stretch of the imagination. Other girls might have chosen boyfriends based on what they could become in the future, but none of them had ever been able to confirm the possibility. And the fact that Button was entirely okay with Sweetie shaping his future left some more than a little disquieted.

He personally didn’t see why. She was optimizing his character. He'd return the favor, but as far as he was concerned, she was already top-tier.

Their dates followed the theme. More often than not, they’d spend them in Button’s bedroom. With the door open, of course. Next Generation might have been thrilled to see her son socialize more, especially with the opposite sex, but she wasn’t going to give them a chance to indulge in adolescent stupidity on quite that level.

Neither minded; they were too busy exploring their abilities with video games to consider other activities. To no one’s surprise, Button’s earth aspect technopathy manifested best when interacting with consoles and PCs, all but hearing the dice rattle in the RNG’s cup. Sweetie tried to match him by looking seconds ahead, and each used the other to hone their skills.

“Bad luck coming up,” Sweetie said one night.

Button gave what he thought was a roguish grin. “You just noticed?” he said as he passed the turn to the AI despite having moves left for his troops.

“How did you?”

“Einheria Chronicles rolls a bunch of numbers ahead of time.” Button’s smile eased into something more natural as he watched the enemy snipers whiff every shot. ”The game… it sort of doesn’t have much of a poker face? It’s been laughing to itself for my whole turn, and now it’s kind of… sulking, I guess.” The screen zoomed out to a tactical map of the blasted townscape and stayed there for a good twenty seconds before zooming in to the next enemy soldier. “Yup, definitely sulking.”

Though beating science-fantasy fascists wasn’t the only way the two used games to practice their powers. Another night, they spent a good half-hour on the Megaton 4 character creator.

“Okay, a bit more red to the eyes,” said Sweetie, her own eyes unfocused.

“Wait, this is my eye color.”

“Exactly. Now the hair’s going to be two-tone pink and orange. My pink, but the orange isn’t quite yours.”

Button nodded, opening the appropriate RGB settings. “More safety cone orange or brownish orange?”

“Brownish. More. Less. Perfect.” Sweetie beamed as her gaze shifted back to the present. “Add the headgem and you’re done!”

The moment Button did, he fell back on the bed, strangely exhausted. He considered the female character in front of them. “And that’s what our daughter will look like?”

Sweetie hummed to herself. “Well, it was.”

He furrowed his brow as he turned to her. “What?”

“Quantum stuff. Looking at the future always changes it a little, but this wrenched it onto a totally different route for some reason.”

Next Gen poked her head in the doorway, her expression unreadable. “What was that about your daughter?”

“Oh,” said Sweetie, chills running down her spine. Seeing the future didn’t help when you were pretty much doomed. “That’s why.”

Author's Note

The Sweetiemash daughter that might be is Kianamai's Pixel Bit. She may exist later in this worldline, but a number of factors just got thrown into disarray.

The Bacon Crusades, by FoME

Domri Rade hated authority and was angry at pretty much everything. In this, he was like many other fifteen-year-old boys who found themselves with increasingly more testosterone than they knew what to do with. Up until now, he'd channeled his aggression in fairly typical ways: graffiti, petty vandalism, scibbling anarchy signs on anything that would take an Inksharp marker, and so forth.

Even he was willing to admit that the boar as big as a house, a line of green flames running down its spine as it trampled towards downtown Ravnica, was a bit much.

The pig ran facefirst into a grid of golden light, one wall of the cage that had sprung up around it. It gave a squeal like an angry whale and immediately began slamming far too many tusks into the trap.

"Okay," said Sunset Shimmer, who has now standing next to Domri. Her hand whipped out and grabbed the collar of his vest before he could do more than think of legging it. "You are an extremely fortunate young man, Domri Rade."

"Yeah?" He put a lot more arrogance in his voice than he really felt. Sunset was the ultimate authority, after all. Even if she could reduce him to a greasy smear. "Howzat?"

"For one, you weren't in that thing's path when you summoned it, nor was anyone else. For another, the combined forces of Kindness and Generosity compel me to at least hear out your side of the story before smacking you so hard your kids will have bruises." Sunset lifted Domri by the vest until he was eye-to-eye with her, growing a foot in the process. "So talk."

The grease smear definitely outweighed screwing authority at this point. "Roight, see, the bird what tol' me—"

"And drop that obviously fake Hockney accent. You're not a football hooligan, you're a very lucky idiot."

Domri crossed his arms and spat off to the side. "Not very harmonious of you."

Sunset narrowed her eyes. "I could very easily throw you in with the giant pig-god."

"Fine. Look, Indica's usually so stoned she takes five seconds to blink. I didn't think that ritual she told me about would do anything but give me an excuse to burn stuff."

"Well, you managed to summon an ancient, forgotten deity of wilderness, savagery, and destruction." Sunset walked closer to the raging boar, dragging Domri along with her. "I hope you're proud of yourself."

He thought about that. It took a while; he'd never had much practice. "Yeah, actually."

Sunset sighed and put her free hand to her temples. After a few moments, a yellow girl flashed into existence next to her. "Fluttershy, Ilharg. Ilharg, Fluttershy."

The girl looked at Domri like he was the freakiest thing here. "Um... nice to meet—"

"Not him, the giant god-pig."

"Oh." She turned to face the actual Ilharg and cheered up immediately. "Oh! Isn't he a sweetie?"

Ilharg bellowed as though it wanted bloody revenge for every strip of bacon man had ever eaten.

"I'll take your word for it," said Sunset. "Could you go mellow him out?"

"I can certainly try."

As Fluttershy flew inside the cage, Domri said, "She's gonna die. You know that, right?"

"Remember how I said Kindness compelled me to hear you out? She's Kindness. If she can keep my temper under control..."

Fluttershy landed in front of Ilharg after he took a step back in yet another attempt to bust down the cage. The great snout twitched, and he looked down upon her with an earth-shaking snort.

She smiled back. "There, there, now. Why don't you just relax for a little while, and we can find a place for you."

Ilharg glared down, bringing his snout close enough to drench Fluttershy in divine mucus with his next breath.

She patted him on the snout. "Who's a good boy?"

He shut his eyes and, ever so slightly, nuzzled into a palm so much smaller than he was.

Then the green flame spread from boar to girl. And when she pulled away, it kept burning.

"Heh. Heh heh. Hehehehehe hahahahaha HA!" Fluttershy leapt astride Ilharg. "Go! Crush them!" They slammed into the cage yet again.

Sunset facepalmed.

"That's hot."

"Shut up, Domri."

"And, long story short, that's why Applejack's wrestling a god."

"I see," Twilight said in the tones of someone who really didn't, but had no desire to dig further. "And the mud pit?"

Sunset looked at the ongoing spectacle of giant woman versus divine boar within a larger forecage, both combatants stained brown by the arena. "I'm pretty sure some of the Ravnica High students deliberately burst a water main," she said, unsure if she felt more scorn or resignation at that.

"It wasn't our idea!" cried one boy who was wearing what could only be called a shoulder-mounted steampunk selfie stick. "Viewers donated thousands to our Spasm channel. We had no choice!"

"Look on the bright side," added another, who was trying to hide what looked very much like a death ray behind his back. That might have worked if it weren't a few feet longer than he was tall. "If you had stopped the pig a few seconds later, they'd be right over a sewer line."

Cheers rang out as Applejack literally hogtied Ilharg. Sunset just groaned. "You apes are all idiots."

Twilight patted her on the back. "Yes, but we're your idiots."

Author's Note

I've seen more than one person refer to this charming fellow as "the Bacon God." Him finding his way to the Oversaturated World was guaranteed from that point. And yes, Domri's voice lines in MTG Arena are delivered in a Cockney accent only slightly better than Dick Van Dyke's.

Humerus Encounter, by FoME

Starting at a new school was always a bit scary, but the CHS class of 2020 had the advantage of both a faculty dedicated to easing the transition and seven seniors who were literally the embodiments of Harmony and its Elements.

Two girls had an added edge: Each other. Theirs was hardly the only friendship carrying over from middle school. They weren't even the only freshmen who had found their icons together. But when one of those icons was a human skull and a bone and the other was a skull and two bones, they didn't exactly have the widest social circle beyond one another.

It also explained why they were digging along the trees behind the school. The blue-on-blue earth aspect switched between brush, trowel, and shovel as the situation called for it. The brick red, black-haired unicorn aspect focused charcoal magic into her eyes, pointing out where to look. And when it came time to examine their findings—

"Ahem."

Both looked up to see Vice Principal Luna looming over them, glaring down like judgement from on high.

"Uh..." Thestra swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat, her magic dissipating with her concentration.

"This isn't what it looks like?" tried Petunia Paleo.

The squirrel skeleton they'd spent the last hour assembling chose that time to scurry up Petunia's shoulder and look up at Luna like it was trying to bat the eyelashes it no longer had.

Luna remained unswayed by the cuteness from beyond the grave. "While there is no rule against reanimating rodents on school grounds-for now-there is definitely one regarding excavating the area without permission."

"Oh." Thestra bit her lip. "Um, sorry?"

"We'll put it back," said Petunia. "We won't even go after that dire wolf femur a few yards down!" She was already on her knees, so she just had to clasp her hands together before she started pleading. "Please don't tell my parents! They still think I'm going to be a serial killer and they're trying to be supportive about it!"

"I am willing to commute your detention into something that will take as long. And is arguably worse."

Petunia nodded fast enough that her ponytail nearly whipped her in the face. Thestra hesitated and said "What?"

Luna's grin barely revealed her teeth, like a thin crescent moon and just as dark.

"Welcome, new members!" cried Spot.

"Geology Club is best club!" added Rover.

"We show you all best digging spots around school." Fido chuckled and slapped Thestra on the back. "Or maybe you show us!"

"Um, yeah." Petunia plastered on a smile as she helped Thestra back to her feet. "Great."

"We are never getting on Miss Luna's bad side again," Thestra whispered.

Petunia considered the three boys with forearms like Porthole the Sailor Man and the hygiene of pigs, and nodded in agreement. "We are recruiting more members. First. Thing."

Bonechip just chattered his incisors.

Author's Note

Unsurprisingly, the squirrel made of bones was very popular among the diamond dog aspects. Thestra is from one of the IDW comics; her special talent appears to be magical X-rays, though it may extend to more general osteomancy.

Turning a New Page, by Speckle

It wasn’t as hard for Twilight to find her as she thought it’d be, given the description that Sunset had provided. That being said, it still took her a few minutes to get the nerve to go up and speak to the girl: not out of fear or social awkwardness, but rather because said girl had been hovering in the air all throughout lunch, as though resting upon a hammock, giving off a strange glow that no pegasus-aspect should have been able to produce.

But now that lunch was halfway finished, Twilight knew that it was now or never. So, marching over until she was a foot away from being directly underneath the rose-skinned girl, Twilight loudly cleared her throat. “Um….excuse me? Are you Abstract Cognition?”

The light orange glow around the hovering student flickered for a second as she repositioned herself in midair, swallowing a bite from her sandwich, light purple eyes landing on Twilight.

“Yep.” Those same eyes flickered with recognition. “Oh! You’re Sunset’s girlfriend! Hello!” Two seconds later, the girl known as Abstract ‘Abby’ Cognition landed before Twilight, sandwich clenched tightly in both hands. The grin on her face could be categorized as Pinkie-level Excited.

“Er… Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight fought down a blush and extended a hand... which was grabbed and shaken with jackhammer force. “Eeeeeeeeh—” And, just as soon as it had started, it stopped. “Um, ahem. Miss Cognition—”

“Call me Abby! Or Abs, if you want.”

“Er, Abby.” Twilight swallowed, the other girl’s face looking more and more like Pinkie’s by the second. “I am here to offer you a research proposal for your thesis on… Habit... trapped?”

“It’s all one word: Habitrapped,” Abby said nonchalantly. “It’s sort of a pun, like— wait a sec.” Purple eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. “Did you say ‘research proposal’?”

“Yes. Sunset Shimmer and I read your thesis—”

“Oh wow, she did?!” The glow returned. “Really?!” And increased. “Did she like it? Did you like it?!”

“... That’s… why I’m here.”

“OoOoOh WOW!”

And then Abby was airborne again, cartwheeling through the air like a glowing ceiling fan, whooping at the top of her lungs, sandwich still in her death grip. Twilight stared at her antics, waiting for her to finish, but a solid sixty seconds passed and Abby was still on Cloud Nine.

A sense of foreboding fell upon Twilight, but she fought to push it away and instead focused on her objective. “I… I was hoping you would allow me to explore your newfound avenue of research!” Forgoing proper social rules, Twilight started shouting her proposal from the ground. “It has come to our attention that you have discovered a new source of magic, and we would like—”

“Of course!”

“—to offer you—!” Twilight stopped, realizing that Abby had landed before her again, grinning ear to ear, “... Uh, what?”

“Of course I’ll work with you.” Abby was still grinning and glowing with that strange orange Light. “Why wouldn’t I? You’re the Embodiment of Magic, the Scholar of Stars, it’d be a super-huge honor to work with you.”

“... Ah, that’s great.”

“So, when do we start?”

Adventure Capitalism, by FoME

It was always interesting to see how multiversal wanderers reacted to being rerouted to customs rather than just dropping in. Some staggered as they tried to process what had just happened. Others gawked at their surroundings, particularly Sunset's immense form looking down from where the ceiling should be.

In this case, the newcomer didn't let the shift even break her runway strut. She did permit herself an arched eyebrow. "Ms. Harshwhinny? My word."

Ms. Harshwhinny met the eyebrow with one of her own. "Can I help you?"

The newcomer dipped her head, willing to admit she was outmatched. "Ahem. Yes. I represent the Infinite Carousel. Of Rarities, by Rarities, for everyone." That certainly explained the white skin, purple curls, and immaculate attire.

"I see. And your business here?"

"Is business." The Rarity gave a smile with teeth as bright as her skin. "We were hoping to confer with the local Rarity, see about bringing her into the fold as it were, possibly incorporating your Earth into our trade network."

"I am afraid, Miss Belle—"

"Just Rarity in my case. Don't worry, it happens all the time."

Ms. Harshwhinny's glare made it clear that interrupting her did not happen all the time, and it happening again any time soon would not end well for Rarity. "I am afraid, Miss Rarity, that we are not presently open for business, unless you also deal in repairing the fabric of space and time."

"Ah." The winning smile admitted defeat, and the Rarity coughed into her fist. "Not one of our prefered materials, I'm afraid. I'd have to pass your query over to R&D. Your people would have to talk to my people on the particulars; I'm just in Customer Relations." She produced a white card as if by magic, which was of course a possibility. "May I at least leave a business card?"

Ms. Harshwhinny nodded and held out her hand. "You may. I'll see to it that the local Rarity recieves it."

"Most appreciated. Best of luck with the, er, space-time situation."

"Of Rarities, by Rarities, for everyone," Rarity read dazedly. Aside from that and the name of the company, the only mark on the card was a logo of a diamond framed in fractally layered borders of ever more, ever smaller diamonds, the overall effect somewhere between crystals, lace, and the contents of Rarity's dreams.

Applejack waved her hand in front of Rarity's eyes, to no apparent reaction. "I think we lost 'er."

"Sunset, darling," Rarity said distantly, "how long do you think it will be until we can openly trade with these esteemed young women?"

"The universe is barely stable enough to admit the weakest alicorns in Equestria, and that's with a portal I can account for rather than whatever they're using. It'll be at least a decade before we can join some all-Rarity conglomerate."

"And there's also all of the legal questions regarding an economic entity spanning multiple universes," said Twilight. "This is going to raise some questions that might not be answered by the time the universe can handle this even if we start asking them today."

Rarity waved that off. "Yes, yes, physics, ethics, all well and good. This is my business model."

The lunch table went silent. Finally, Dash said, "Wait, seriously?"

"Of course! My counterpart in our Equestria has already been giving me advice on how to handle my business, to say nothing of our merger plans down the road—"

Sunset narrowed her eyes. "Your what now?"

"It makes sense that we're far from the first Rarities to dream of this sort of thing." Rarity gave a dreamy sigh. "I can only imagine the splendor so many of me have made."

"What do you think they do with all the Sweetie Belles?" Pinkie mused.

Rarity shuddered. "I'm not sure I want to know."

Myriad Paths, by GMBlackjack and FoME

(GMBlackjack)

"I don't think the ETSAB likes us very much."

Seven different Rarities—including three unicorns, a pegasus, two humans, and some kind of floating crystal automaton—raised eyebrows in the universally understood 'no, really?' expression. Except the crystal automaton. She just... beeped.

The eighth, lead Rarity put a hand to the bridge of her nose and sighed. She was a tall woman with shimmering wings coming out of her back and a magical halo hovering above her head. This elegant image was highly contrasted with the absurd number of guns she had strapped to her, including four pistols, some kind of sniper rifle on her back, and what could only be described as 'a machine gun made out of floral arrangements.' All the guns were of the absolute highest quality craftsmanship. She never used the guns. The Rarities of the Infinite Carousel took this as a good sign.

Needless to say, the universe Rarity "Magnum" Belle called home was an unusual one. "Live or die by fashion," she'd say. Most Rarities thought she was joking. Hoped she was joking.

"Why do I even call these meetings if you all treat everything I say like it's blatantly obvious?"

"It usually is," a unicorn said. "Anyone of us could have told you that mission wouldn't go well."

"I was on that mission," a human said. "You warned me, dear."

"...So I did," Magnum said, sitting back in her chair. "So, business strategies?"

"Well, we don't want to be overbearing..."

"Why not?" the crystal asked. "It'll be better for them in the long run anyway."

"That's how evil corporations are made."

"We'll be careful!"

"No offense, but how far did 'careful' get us in the Fae Realms?"

There was silence at the table.

"I hate giants," the pegasus said, suddenly. "I know such a sentiment is unladylike, but I really hate giants."

"They are decidedly... brutish."

"Only sometimes," the automaton pointed out. "I had a good conversation with my good friend."

"He tried to eat you," a human said.

"Small price to pay for companionship."

One of the unicorns cleared his throat. "Pardon me, but shouldn't be we talking about business rather than dead ends?"

Magnum nodded. "Good point." She pulled out a remote and tapped a button, bringing up a light blue hologram. "As you can see profits are rising, though the rate of increase is down two points again."

"Again?" the pegasus groaned. "At this rate we'll reach our peak in a few decades!"

"Most other businesses wouldn't care about something that far off," a human observed.

"Do you have any idea how big the multiverse is!?" Silence. "That's right, nobody knows! If we don't have constant, expanding growth it's going to eat us up!"

"I believe it is self-evident that our deep projections are fruitless given our lack of information," Magnum said. "But you are correct, we should seek ever-expanding growth. I personally believe this is just a minor setback. Find a few more worlds that have nothing to do with the ETSAB or... Fey......" She really hoped she was using the right word. "The vast majority of Rarities simply adore collaboration. And those that can't... well, a business card never hurts."

"I cut myself on a business card, once," the pegasus offered.

Magnum sighed. "Rarity..."

"Yes?" All the Rarities in the room asked, save for the sole stallion.

Magnum twitched. "You all need to get yourselves codenames or something, this happens FAR too often."

"Even me?" the stallion asked.

"Elusive, you are in the clear, for now. ...The rest of you, on the other hand, hoof, or crystalline appendage..."

"Rarity is such a perfect name!" One of the humans tossed her hair back. "Why would we give it up?"

"Because if you don't think of something else we're going to have to start referring to each other by number, and I think we all know enough Twilights to see how that would go wrong."

There was a chorus of agreements from the room.

(FoME)

Sunset never felt entirely comfortable in Agent Heartstrings's office. Standing in a spacial fold she didn't make always made her skin crawl. Plus, it was the very same gym closet she'd had to live in for her first week in this world, which brought back memories she'd have much rather kept buried. Still, the ETSAB agent had made it clear that this was important, and a little discomfort was a small price to pay for keeping the universe safe and stable. "So, what's so bad about the Infinite Carousel?"

"I have to echo the question," said Rarity, still holding the business card Ms. Harshwhinny had given her. "I am, if anything, slightly insulted by the idea the idea that grouping a great number of different versions of me somehow yields some sort of menacing syndicate."

Agent Heartstrings—it was easier to just think of her that way than constantly trying to say which Lyra one meant—sighed as she pulled a file folder out of hyperspace. Sunset held back a twitch. "You have to understand," the agent said as she paged through the contents, "multiversal societies can be very sensitive to their formative experiences. The Sparkle Census is exactly what it sounds like, and it's exactly what you think it is, a combination research lab, multiversal library, and bureaucratic nightmare. The ETSAB itself is a governmental organization from an Equestria where we basically have to do Sunset's job in maintaining space and time."

"What's the story there, anyway?" said Sunset.

"Our universe is artificial and fundamentally unstable, created by our then god-level Pinkie Pie as part of a massive stable time loop that would ensure her own birth." Agent Heartstrings shrugged. "It's complicated."

"Well, yeah," said Sunset. "It's Pinkie Pie." She discreetly shut Rarity's open mouth with a bit of telekinesis.

"Exactly. In any case, the Office of Parallel Timelines may be the branch most people outside of our world see, but we're just one part of a greater organization, one with limited jurisdiction and an even more limited budget outside of our home universe."

"And what of the Infinite Carousel?" said Rarity.

Agent Heartstrings pulled a few pages out of the folder, photos of a bizarrely proportioned equinoid and logos featuring fireflies. "The Carousel was originally Lampyrid Solutions, LLC, a shell company made by a madmare to help support a twisted social experiment masquerading as a town in her Equestria. That world's Twilight convinced her to turn it into a legitimate trading company between three universes." More photos, very familiar ones. "And then the local Rarities stepped in."

Rarity crossed her arms and scowled. "Again, I do not appreciate the implications here in the least."

"The point is that the Carousel never entirely lost that predatory aspect. It's since become a case study in a single Element of Harmony left unmoderated by the others and warped into something deeply dangerous. It gives a lot back to its customers, no one can dispute that, but it takes more. And it has some of the most brilliant business minds in our corner of probability space devoted to maximizing its profit margin. It's not evil, but it is a dangerous mindset to have when dealing with the paracosmos."

"Ah. Well then." Rarity cleared her throat. "Would now be a bad time to confess that I've been collaborating with my own pony counterpart for some time now?"

Agent Heartstrings shrugged. "That happens fairly often. It's when several hundred Rarities band together and start buying out entire planetary economies that we start to worry."

"So what do we do about it?" said Sunset.

"In my professional opinion, it's safest to not have anything to do with them, but I'm hardly a neutral judge. It's your universe, Sunset. You're a big girl, you can make your own choices. Just keep your own Rarity close at hand when dealing with them, and vice versa. And probably include your other friends as well."

Sunset nodded. "Got it. Thanks, Agent Heartstrings. You've given us a lot to think about."

Rarity looked back at the business card. "Indeed so."

Author's Note

Yes, that's a Captain Thunderhoof reference. Multiverses are such useful things when it comes to grand unification.

Some People Can Only Whistle, by Crack-Fic Kai

Sunset Shimmer closed her eyes and felt the stillness surrounding her. She took a deep breath in, and held it as she felt out towards everything around her. The trees trembled softly as she beheld them, the rocky canyon stalwartly ignored her. She reached upwards, and slowly asked the air for help.

It obeyed without question. Air rose and cooled, coming together into the kind of clouds that would take weeks to build properly. In scant minutes the steadily-thickening clouds were blotting out the sky. Sunset created a bubble from kinetic energy around herself— it wouldn’t block her vision or hearing, but it’d keep out the rain and any debris. She cast strengthening charms on the canyon, did a final check for anyone in the area, and once she was sure she was alone the rain came down.

Sunset shifted her shoulders, calling upon the next phase. Hail was trickier than other kinds of weather, because it formed higher than the rest of the storm and at a different temperature from rain. It would have been easy to just to unload it all at once, but she kept shifting heat back and forth until it fell in a beat of four—

Pat-pat Pat-pat, Pat-pat Pat-pat.

Pat-pat Pat-pat, Pat-pat Pat-pat,

—and after a few minutes she had the hailstones falling perfectly in rhythm.

Now it was time for the simplest part. She reached out a thought around some electrons and shoved them out of their orbits, sending a bolt of lightning booming across the sky. A frown marred Sunset's face. She shifted her hand, and the lightning boomed again. It kept striking a tall tree, coming down a few seconds faster than Sunset wanted. She cheated a little here, using magic to grow a different tree even taller. The lightning straightened out, the thunder rolling over Sunset with every fourth beat of hail—

Pat-pat Pat-BOOM, Pat-pat Pat-BOOM,

Pat-pat Pat-BOOM, Pat-pat Pat-BOOM,

—and it was almost time to begin. Sunset called forth the wind and it howled at its sudden freedom. It tumbled through the canyon Sunset had carved with zeal, rising and falling with Sunset as she asked, creating a sound that blended mystery with glee—

Ooo-whee-ooO,

Pat-pat Pat-BOOM, Pat-pat Pat-BOOM,

Whee--ooo--wheE

Pat-pat Pat-BOOM, Pat-pat Pat-BOOM,

—as the storm came together and the music flowed.

The rain mixed with the hail, creating an urgency to run, to charge onward heedless of what lay in store. The thunder shouted alongside it, telling of strength and true power. They wove together a desire to lose oneself in thoughtless passion. But with it rose the wind, and it sang a wonderful song that rose goosebumps on Sunsets arms. It slipped between the two like water through a net, knowing just how to reach the ones listening. Sunset shifted her shield, and smiled as a small part of the wind carried through. It tugged at her jacket, and she slipped it off to better feel the cool breeze.

The music carried on, requiring less attention now that Sunset had kicked it off, and She let herself be lost in the sound. It was a tribute to life, and it was exhilarating.

And then a hailstone slipped through her shield and broke her nose.

The sudden pain snapped Sunset back to reality, and she fell on her ass with an undignified squawk. The song, lacking direction, began to drift out of control. Sunset threw out a hand to try and call it back to order, but the rhythm was hard to find again. She winced at the damage caused to the forest, willing any fires started by the lightning back down. She couldn’t fix all the destruction done by the hail, and the wind had just disappeared.

Sunset sighed. It wasn’t a disappointed sigh; rather it sounded sardonic. It had a very strong resemblance to her teacher's, though Sunset wasn’t willing to compare herself to the Daymare yet. It also stood in stark contrast to the anger she’d once felt over her failed assignments. It was accepting.

“I’ll get it right next time.”

Author's Note

Just because you're the Spirit of Harmony doesn't mean you always get the choreography on the first try. Especially not when one of your constituent elements is Laughter. The Rule of Funny is a harsh mistress.

Shopping for the Stars, by Crack-Fic Kai

Sunset sat down with an uncharacteristically grim face. "Okay, I'm facing a serious crisis, and you three are best suited to helping me deal with it."

Cadence slowly raised her hand. "Um, I don't want to be rude, but what could you need help with that we could possibly—"

"Anniversary present."

"Ooooohh."

Sunset sighed. "I mean, I know its not the end of the world, but if I don't get her something really good she might be disappointed and that's basically the same thing in my head? So I thought I'd form a committee meeting to help me decide."

Rarity frowned. "Oh, do we really need to call it a committee meeting? That's not... especially romantic."

Sunset shrugged. "I guess, but I'm pretty sure Twilight would think it was sweet, and this whole thing is about finding ways to impress her, so..."

Applejack leaned forward. "Alright, I get why Cadence is here; she knows Twilight from when she was little, and she's in charge of love or somethin'. And Rarity is here 'cause she's the single most romantic person whose ever lived—"

Rarity flushed. "Oh, thank you dear."

"—but what can I do to help? I ain't super good at them big gestures and stuff."

"You're here to rein us in if we go crazy," Sunset said bluntly. "All my ideas keep going too high-concept, and I need someone to tell me not to have the stars rearrange themselves as her face."

Rarity frowned. "That actually sounds lovely—"

"A future me from a timeline that did that came back to tell me that the catastrophic shifts in gravity I make by moving that many stars and planets around nearly ends the world."

The three girls stared at Sunset, who shifted uncomfortably. "But then she vanished!" she added, "so I... think that means the universe doesn't end anymore? Or my better judgement was just being overly dramatic, which is possible. Anyway, I just need to find something smaller than that."

The three girls nodded quickly. "What kind of things do you think Twilight likes?" Cadence asked.

Sunset snapped her fingers, and an amateurish painting of Twilight appeared next to the table. Glowing script hovered over-top of it, listing Twilight's traits. "I've compiled a complex checklist of Twilight's favorite things and why she likes them, as well as things that should be avoided. Using this list—"

"Why does it say where she's ticklish?"

"WHOOPS THAT'S THE WRONG LIST HANG ON HERE WE GO." Sunset frantically waved her arms at the painting, and the script was replaced. "Right. So." Sunset coughed to buy time. "This is the list of traits. That we're using. That other list was a— decoy! Decoy list. Is what that was."

Applejack held her face in her hands, shoulders shaking from suppressed laughter. Rarity glared at her and laid a comforting hand over Sunset's. "Don't worry, dear. We shan't tell anyone."

Cadence nodded. "We've all done embarrassing things because of love. Let's just focus on the present. What are you thinking right now?"

Cheeks steaming, Sunset stared a hole in the table and continued. "So, the most obvious thing is Twilight loves books. The question is finding books she couldn't get elsewhere."

Cadence smiled. "And you want us to help you choose?"

"No, I decided to get her all of them," Sunset clarified. "I built a complex space-time fold and filled it with a duplicate of every book ever made, plus some shelves for everything. But something about the fold isn't working right, and I keep getting lost."

Cadence wasn't used to hanging out with Sunset, and wasn't really prepared for that sort of thing. Her mouth gaped uselessly, leaving it to Rarity to ask the important questions. "How do you keep getting lost? You're the Spirit of Harmony."

"I don't know. Normally, I'd ask Twilight, but I can't tell her, and if I have a hard time figuring out how to leave she might get stuck forever. I conjured a search spell to find books that can help me, but it just brought me a bunch of Turtleworld novels before it read enough books to gain self-awareness and asked to leave."

Rarity found herself out of her depth and joining Cadence in gaping, but Sunset didn't notice. "I did think about making another one, and getting as far along as I could before it asked to leave too, but even if I'm letting them go as soon as they want it feels a little user-y—"

"Okay," Applejack said. "I'm officially reinin' it in now."

Author's Note

In the end, Twilight stumbled upon the painting—one Sunset did by hand—assumed that was the gift, and loved it. Sunset then shamefacedly wrote a friendship letter to Princess Twilight.

Who am AI, by FoME

There were things Twilight couldn't stand about Microchips, and she knew it was because she couldn't stand those things about herself.

The two were, after all, very similar. Both were purple, bespectacled, genius-level, unicorn-aspect engineers who had friends outside of their expected social circles. Both needed those friends, lest they focus on a technical goal to the point of non-clinical mania. Both occassionally achieved this state of hyperfocus regardless.

Thus, when Twilight paced in front of a despondent Microchips, she berated herself as much as him when she said, "So, let's review the depths of your short-sightedness."

He rose and made for the band practice room's door. "Maybe I can just ask Mr. Discord for help."

A raspberry-colored wall of force slammed into place barely an inch from his face. Judging by his expression when he turned around, Twilight's expression wasn't any more inviting. "You asked me for help, Microchips. You're getting it, starting with constructive criticism."

He sighed and sat on the stairs leading up to the room's raised platform. "This really isn't helping the whole 'righteous right hoof of the Bacon Horse' motif Sunset's church gives you."

"True, but irrelevant. So." Twilight began to pace, hands held behind her back. "To begin with, you decided it was a good and necessary idea to endow a toaster with self-awareness, completely ignoring any and all warnings given to us by Battlestar Galaxia."

"The toaster was just a case of using available materials to account for a budget shortfall," said Microchips. "By the time I'd saved up enough for a decent monitor or speaker system, I'd already spent two weeks calibrating heating elements. I didn't want to waste all that time and effort."

That got Twilight to pause in her pacing. Briefly. "I admit, I've been in your shoes there. However, that doesn't change the fact that your creation could only express itself through body language and burning things."

"Well, anything sounds bad if you put it like that."

"Then you decided to have this toast-faced robot run on the Paradiamond Framework, perhaps the most ethically questionable software ever written."

Microchips got to his feet. "Okay, now you're being unfair. The only other AI platform worth bothering with is Gillion Think, and that just works by giving Gillion another body and more processing power." He shook his head. "No thank you."

Twilight stopped and dipped her head. "Fair point, but that doesn't change the fact that this invention of yours still ran on a platform that nearly caused a robot apocalypse."

Microchips threw his hands into the air. "How else was I supposed to make it work?"

"Why did you need to make it work?" said Twilight, following suit. "You were entering a pet show! Go to the shelter, Fluttershy will give you more animals than you'll know what to do with!"

"You name it, at least one of my parents is allergic to it. I lucked out there."

"Okay. Fine. But on top of all of that." Twilight stomped for emphasis. "On top of all of that, you had the absolute gall to give it a designation based on a character whose entire narrative arc consists of fleeing from wrongful persecution by an uncaring authority. And you're still surprised that JVJ-24601 ran away?"

Microchips shrugged. "I really never saw it coming."

"Ugh." Twilight facepalmed.

The smack echoed for a few moments. "So... are you going to help me find it?"

After a deep breath, Twilight nodded. "Of course. I just wanted to be sure that we covered all the myriad ways in which you botched this first. And you will be hearing from PAULDRONS."

Microchips cringed as he considered that. "Couldn't you just lecture me more?"

"Don't tempt me."

Author's Note

Friendly reminder that JVJ-24601 is a canon thing that exists in the source material. Though in canon, Microchips had to write the software himself in an environment with lower narrativium levels.

Always With Her, by FoME ("The Last Crusade" spoilers)

Author's Note

As noted in the chapter title, this makes use of concepts introduced in yesterday's episode. The management accepts no responsibility for those stumbling on these concepts for the first time through this short.

Always With Her, by FoME ("The Last Crusade" spoilers)

Prim Hedges took great pride in her work. As groundskeeper of Crystal Prep Academy, she had every reason to. Yes, Abacus Cinch might have fallen victim to her own need for perfection, but a kinder, softer principal didn't mean that standards had to slip when it came to the school's appearance.

Such as, for example, scruffy hooligans loitering on school grounds. Prim narrowed her eyes as she deviated from her usual patrol route, approaching the hooligan in question with stealth belying the boots she wore for those frequent times when she needed to finish her underlings' jobs. "Can I help you, miss?" she said, unspoken hostility dripping off of every syllable.

The orange girl didn't turn around. She didn't even flinch. She just waved and said, "Nah, I'm just waiting for some friends."

Prim narrowed her gaze. Cadence had encouraged fraternization with students of lesser facilities. Still, that didn't mean anyone could just "hang out" at the Crystal Prep track with impunity. "And who would these friends be, exactly?"

The girl shrugged. "I don't remember the Crystal Prep girl's name." She shaded her eyes with a hand and looked at the sky. "You'd think that with all the arguing they're doing, Rainbow Dash could say it at least once."

Prim glanced up. She didn't see whatever the little pegasus aspect did.

She looked back and thought. Hmm. Little indeed. A sophmore at absolute most. "Do your parents know where you are, young lady?"

"Uh, how specific do you mean? FSA, Califoalnia, Crystal City, what? I mean, they're across the Harmonic, so—"

Prim scoffed. It was a fine scoff, honed through hundreds of dubious excuses presented by the unworthy. "A likely story. Where are they really?"

That finally got the girl to turn around. The miscreant shrugged. "Haven't checked in on them today, can't hurt." Her gaze went blank as her lightbow spread out behind her... though where most were as long as a person's arm span, hers barely went past her shoulders. "Well, Dad's snoring. Not surprising, time zone difference between here and Borneigho and all. Mom's up, and..." An admittedly sweet smile crossed her lips. "Aww. I don't know if she sensed me somehow or if she's just being a mom. Love you too."

"You really expect me to believe that little pantomime?" Prim began tapping her foot. This was usually the part where students started to tear up.

The girl just shook her head and frowned at her. She returned the look with a far more experienced one. To the little devil's credit, that didn't make her relent. "Well, my parents are Snap Shutter and Mane Allgood, so yeah, I think them helping with orangutan conservation is pretty believable."

"Pshaw. If they had a daughter, I'd think people would know."

"I literally have a Quickipedia article about me." The girl had the temerity to smile as she pulled out her phone. "That's not the only reason why I have a Quickipedia article, but it is one of them."

"Young lady, I have had—"

"I don't see you ever saving the world!"

Prim looked up. Two more girls, seniors if she was any judge, were coming in for a landing, though they seemed more intent on flying into one another judging by how they were pressed shoulder to shoulder.

"I'd like to see you spent five seconds where I've been and see how you come out," said one who she recognized as Indigo Zap.

The rainbow-haired one—Rainbow Dash, Prim supposed—smirked as she jabbed an elbow into Indigo's ribs. "Does your owner know you talk that big when she's not around?"

Indigo ascended a few feet, leaving Rainbow to stumble in midair. "You don't have the right to even think about her!"

The girl on the ground groaned. "They've been doing this since Indigo met Dash midflight."

Rainbow beamed. "Hey, there's our timekeeper!"

"And Ms. Hedges." Indigo gave her a nod. "They're with me."

Technically speaking, they had done nothing wrong. Still, there were appearances to keep up. "This is most irregular, Indigo Zap."

The still floating girl shrugged. "Kind of a spur of the moment thing."

"Well don't make a habit of it."

"Ms. Hedges? For the record." The orange girl held up her phone, letting Prim see a photo her arm in arm with a certain pair of famous conservationists.

Prim felt a chill go down her spine. "Yes. Well. My apologies. Good day." She spun on her heel and promptly resumed her overview of the grounds. If anyone asked, the altercation had never happened.

She heard Indigo speak behind her. "Yeah, Ms. Hedges is the groundskeeper here."

"Which is why she has a stick up her ass."

Prim gritted her teeth. That wouldn't have been nearly as infuriating if all three hadn't said it at once.

That Escalated Quickly, by Crack-Fic Kai

The initial night of the meeting was neither dark nor stormy, so it had to be put off. They had to wait days, for this was a serious meeting, and once a sufficiently dark and stormy night blew across Canterlot, Pinkie Pie and Ruby Rose stared at each other wearing their serious faces.

They sat down on a park bench that should have been cloaked in shadow, but municipals had gotten around to fixing the street light. Ruby kicked her legs in annoyance but didn’t say anything. After all, real spy missions had tons of things go terribly wrong and she could endure some pleasant light. Electing to make the best of it, Ruby lowered her voice and growled, “Do you have it?”

Pinkie Pie, wearing a leather jacket and black fedora, shrugged and looked away. “Maybe I do and maybe I don’t, see?” She said. “Depends on if you’re as good as your word, see?”

Ruby snorted in what she hoped was a cynical manner. “Don’t insult me. This is the good stuff.” She patted the food tray on her lap. “30 chocolate chip cookies shaped like shot glasses. You can load these boys up with as much milk as you want and…” she bit her lip, “like, eat them and stuff. How does my uncle talk like this all the time?"

“You’re just trying a bit to hard,” Pinkie said. “You don’t want to overreach. Stop at ‘as much milk as you want,’ and smirk or something. For fun I make a cheat sheet of stuff I can use when I’m doing a bit. You wanna see sometime?”

“That sounds like fun!” Ruby said, before returning back to character. “But I ain’t here for fun. Do you have the Intel?”

Pinkie looked down at the cigarette case in her hand. She slowly pulled out a lollipop, taking the time to enjoy the first lick, before she smiled and answered. “The Nineteenth of June. That's their anniversary. The night it all began. In the afternoon.”

Not wanting to be out-toughed, Ruby took out her hip-flask and downed a shot of milk. “You're sure?”

Pinkie glared at the girl. “Hey, I’m a business woman. I sell goods, see? And if my goods ain’t good, then that’s bad for business, and I don’t do bad business. See?”

“…Yeah,” Ruby bluffed. “Clear as crystal. The deed is done, then. Sunset Shimmer will never see it comi—“

“Is something happening?”

Both girls leapt off their bench and screamed as Sunset Shimmer appeared behind them. “Sorry!” Sunset exclaimed. “I didn’t mean to scare you, but I do a check when certain people say my name, and it's late and you two weren't home, and I got… worried… actually, what are you two doing?”

“NOTHING SUSPICIOUS,” Pinkie said as she pulled Ruby up from her supplicating pose. “We were… not being suspicious at night all alone because… we’re secretly in love?” Ruby squeaked uselessly as Pinkie shifted her grip from around her shoulder to around her waist. “And we wanted to keep it away from the public because of how the church would freak out and it’s just so romantic how can you not sympathize with us?”

Sunset thought about Pinkie Pie’s best impression of Rarity for a moment. “You’re desperately in love with Ruby?”

“More than, like, the stars? Stars are romantic.”

“Uh-huh. And you’re completely obsessed with her?”

Pinkie carefully trembled her bottom lip. “I don’t know if I can live without her, Sunset—“

“What’s her full name?”

Pinkie opened her mouth.

Her brain, normally incredibly reliable, informed her that she’d never been told Ruby’s last name, it was funnier if she didn't know, and that she was on her own.

Pinkie closed her mouth.

Desperately, her eyes roamed the park for anything useful. Her eyes settled on a flowerbed, and most specifically on the gorgeous red rose in the center.

“Ruby Garden,” she said confidently.

Ruby covered her face with her hands, and without missing a beat Pinkie dove onward. “Is what I call her because of her love of gardening because we have cute pet names now and aren’t we precious?”

“You don’t actually think I’m buying this?”

“Okay, what if we kissed romantically?” Ruby squeaked as Pinkie dipped her and stared soulfully into her eyes, a rose clenched in her teeth. “En realidad no hablo español, Ruby Garden. Grande Amore.”

Ruby blushed, and Pinkie was surprised to feel a slight shiver in her chest. She leaned towards Ruby's lips—

“Okay!” Ruby interrupted. She pushed herself to her feet, looked at Sunset and nearly bowed again, but Sunset’s expression stopped her. “Um… your gloriousness—“

“It’s two o’clock in the morning,” Sunset said, “please talk normally.”

“R-right… so we at the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse were looking for a way to expand our calendar beyond our initial holidays celebrating you.”

Sunset closed her eyes and forced herself to remember that this counted as normal speech.

“And since we don’t know when your birthday is (yet,) Pinkie approached us with a… romantic option—“

“She made me tell her when your anniversary was!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“What?” Ruby whirled around glared up at the taller girl. “I did not! You took that bribe fair and square!”

“They were shot-glass cookies! That’s not fair and you know it! Its like expecting Sunset not to give in every time Twilight takes her hand and makes eye contact for longer than two seconds.”

“It's not… every time,” Sunset weakly offered, but the two girls ignored her.

“Well,” an affronted Ruby said, “Fine then! We’ll plan the celebration without you!”

Pinkie gasped. “You can’t properly plan a perfect party without Pinkie Pie present!"

"Watch me!" Ruby said. "I can do anything you do, better!"

Pinkie's eyes narrowed. "You’re not half the Genki Girl I am!”

“Oh yeah?” Ruby declared. “I’m energetic! I’m fun! I’m super cute with pretty eyes!”

Pinkie blinked, momentarily thrown off. "You think my eyes are pretty?"

“And I’ll get this done myself!” Ruby declared, before dramatically running away.

“I hope you're happy Sunset!” Pinkie shouted. “You’ve destroyed a relationship that lasted for a whole minute!”

Sunset stared at Pinkie as she ran away, before turning to look at Ruby’s steadily retreating form.

She sighed. “This is not going to end well.”

Pope Fights!, by Crack-Fic Kai and Masterweaver

(Crack-Fic Kai)

Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose and didn't look up. She couldn't look up. The sound and smell were bad enough.

She heard Ruby shift uncomfortably. "Okay, I know this looks bad—"

Sunset raised her hand. Ruby stopped talking. Pinkie stepped forwards. "No, you can't be mad at Ruby 'cause—"

"No no," Sunset said, "Still processing. Shh."

There was a long stretch of silence. Neither of the girls risked moving. There was a chance they'd stopped breathing. With a reluctant sight Sunset opened her eyes.

Proportionally speaking, there wasn't that much fire. The banquet hall was a huge, cavernous room that could fit dozens, and the fire only really extended to a few tables and some wallpaper. Of course, that cavernous room was filled with scattered rubble, the shattered pillars, and an alarming amount of smashed food, so maybe it felt like there was more fire because of how crowded it was. "One at a time. Explain. Now."

Ruby, the girl who headed a whole movement around prostrating herself ironically to someone else to make that person feel better about the people who meant it, looked abashed. "Heh heh... Well, we kinda were fighting over who was the best at throwing celebrations."

Pinkie, the girl who'd needed someone to explain what "humiliate" actually meant, bit her lip. "While we... y'know, did that, there was... a pie thrown by... someone..."

There was another stretch of silence, filled with Ruby hoping that Pinkie would finish that part of the story and Pinkie trying to form words.

Sunset didn't have an expression. An expression would have been less scary.

Ruby coughed. "Things sorta... escalated."

With a creaking groan, part of the roof behind them caved in. Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

Both girls flinched. Sunset had moved into sarcasm. Sarcastic Sunset did bad things to people. Heaven help them if she moved into irony.

Ruby drew in a deep breath." Okay, so I think the whole fight is on EweTube, so I thought I could sorta gloss over that—"

"Oh, would you like to gloss over that?" Sunset asked. "Would you like to gloss over the pie tins that you've somehow embedded in the stone wall? Would you like to gloss over thousands of dollars of food you've wasted? Are you glossing over everything you've set on fire? How do you set fires in a food fight?"

"Well, it's got something to do with friction—"

Sunset held out her hand. Ruby stopped talking. "I can't believe you challenged Pinkie Pie to a food fight! You could have been hurt—"

"Actually." Pinkie interrupted, "She kicked my ass."

This pulled Sunset up short for several reasons. Firstly, Pinkie had interrupted her, and Pinkie had just leveled a part of Sunset's church. But Pinkie had also said that someone had beaten her in a food fight, and that didn't happen. Not to mention that was the first complete sentence Pinkie had said, when normally Pinkie would be outright assaulting logic in an attempt to get out of trouble. And come to think of it, since when did Pinkie swear? And—

Sunset's eyes narrowed. Pinkie had been quiet for most of this conversation, and made a point of avoiding Sunset's eyes. That was to be expected, but she also kept looking at Ruby, and then looking at the floor. She shifted uncomfortably. She nervously chewed on her lip. She caught herself looking at Ruby again—

No way. Sunset looked back at Ruby, who had flushed crimson at Pinkie's praise. "You beat Pinkie in a fight?"

"I mean..." Ruby said. "I studied the Elements a lot, and Laughter was always really interesting."

"Mhm," Sunset said as she watched Pinkie perk up.

"And I train all the time!" Ruby said. "We're fighting against monsters and stuff, and my sister Sunny's coaching us and I've gotten really strong! See?" She flexed her arm and Pinkie's eyes trailed her thin but developing biceps.

"Right," Sunset said. "Pinkie, do you have anything to add?"

"Well," Pinkie said, "I mean, no, that's pretty much it, yeah."

Pinkie Pie is having trouble forming coherent sentences. Pinkie Pie.

Sweet Celestia, she's twitterpated.

"Well," Sunset said, "That must have been an amazing fight, Ruby. It'd take a lot to impress Pinkie this much."

"...Thank you?" Ruby said slowly, not noticing how Pinkie's gaze began dancing away from her and around the room in an attempt to find something not-embarrassing to look at. "Does this mean you're done yelling and stuff?"

Sunset sighed. "Tell you what: the two of you clean this up and we're cool."

"Oh!" Ruby looked at the rubble and food strewn across a structure that was big enough to house a circus troop, and swallowed. "Uh, how long—"

"As long as it takes." With a gesture, the fires smothered themselves, the roof reversed and formed back into one solid ceiling, and the more dangerous piles of rubble were dumped in a sector of space Sunset used as a junkyard when she felt lazy. "So! Brooms and mops are in the janitor's closet, trash cans and bags are over there, and I think you can see where the mess is?"

Both girls nodded glumly. Sunset wasn't going to make them clean the whole thing up; both of them would feel bad enough that they'd work themselves late, and then Sunset could be impressed by their dedication and do the rest herself in the morning. More importantly, it'd give them time alone to talk and Sunset time to find Sweetie Belle.

What does her chart say about this?

(Masterweaver)

"You know, I never expected you to call one of these meetings. You're not really the proactive one."

"Mmm."

"Yeah, I know. Hey, Maud, you know what this is about?"

"No."

"Do you have a fu— freakin' guess?"

"Yes."

"Would you like to tell me what your guess is?"

"I think that Marble should tell us."

"Mmmhmmm."

"Fine, whatever! What's taking you so long?"

"She's making sure our video chat is secure. That nobody unscrupulous can listen in on us."

"Mmhmm."

"Right, you always were the tech-savvy one..."

"Mmm!"

"Does that mean we're safe?"

"Mmmhmm."

"F— Friggin' finally. Come on, Marble, spill!"

"Mmh."

"...A picture of Pinkie? Marble, what— wait, who's that with her?"

"That would be Ruby Rose. The pope of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse."

"I... guess that makes sense? I mean Pinkie's one of Sunset's friends, so of course the Shimmerists are going to take interest in her—"

"Mm-mm."

"Marble's right, Limestone. That's not what's going on here. Well, not all that's going on."

"Really, then what the f—? Hold on. Hold on, that smile. That's not Pinkie's ordinary smile."

"Mmmhmmmmm..."

"... You're fucking with me."

"And you were doing so well."

"Shut it, Maud. Marble, are you sure about this?"

"Hrrrrrm... mmhmmm."

"Well... shit. I mean, I'm happy for her and all, but who the hell is Ruby to date our sister?"

"I don't think they're dating yet."

"What, seriously?"

"Mmhmm."

"Wow. Not like Pinkie to show restraint when it comes to what she wants. You think she's serious about this?"

"Maybe. After her previous... dalliances—"

"What, like that time she was seven and proclaimed her love for the theme park mascot?"

"— I would not be surprised if she was unwilling to risk alienating the object of her affections."

"Mhm."

"... Damn, now I don't know what to do. I mean, I want her happy, but I'm so used to seeing her as my baby sister—"

"HRMPH!"

"Oh come on, Marble, you were always more mature then she was."

"That is... a little harsh, Limestone."

"Yeah, but it's true. Whatever. Look my point is, I want to vet this Ruby chick. Personally. Dunno when I'm going to get a break from work, but I'll be in town soon as I can. What do Mom and Dad think?"

"... Mmmmmm...."

"What do you mean they don't know?!"

"I'm actually not surprised. They are a loving set of parents, but they can be very traditional. Pinkie's planning on moving in with me to get away from them; do you think she would appreciate it if any of us told them about her love life without her permission?"

"... Fuck, you're right. Man, was it only a few years ago we were all under one roof?"

"Mmm."

"Well... whatever. Look, when I get to town, we'll vet this Ruby chick, then we'll decide how we're going to help Pinkie and whether to tell Mom and Dad."

"Hmm."

"Very well. Ah, Pinkie's driving in now. Marble, get rid of that picture so we can have a normal sister chat."

"Mm!"

(Crack-Fic Kai)

Marble Pie wasn't a very confrontational person, and neither was she a talkative one. It wasn't that she disliked people; she simply preferred them at a distance. So while she wanted to go and talk to Ruby about Pinkie Pie’s crush, she had to wait for one of her sisters to come with her and do the actual talking part of a talk. It was a sensible, logical thing to do.

Marble repeated that to herself as she watched Limestone grow increasingly frustrated with Ruby. It didn’t help.

“— And why was she so tired last night? What were you two doing?”

“Scrubbing the floor,” an increasingly confused Ruby said. “I went home tired too, I spend all last night on my knees. Who are you again?”

Limestone gritted her teeth. “I’m your worst nightmare.”

Ruby gasped. “You’re a human/angst monster hybrid shapeshifter here to ruin all my friendships so I’ll turn evil?”

“No, I’m…” Even after living with Pinkie forever, Limestone felt thrown off. “Shit, is that a thing?”

Ruby shrugged. “I mean, not yet but…”

“Whatever. Look,” Limestone tried to take a step forwards, but Marble grabbed her hand pulled her back. “Look,” she tried again. “I know you’re some kind of a warrior priestess—“

“Well, technically—”

“I don’t care!” Limestone pulled her hand out of Marble's and got in Ruby’s personal space. “I don’t care why you're obsessed with Sunset and her friends, or what your game is, you are going to cool it right the fuck—“

“Hey!”

Ruby’s expression became one of relief. Limestone rolled her eyes and turned around to shout at whoever dared interrupt one of her rants.

She looked up.

She looked up some more.

The woman that stood before them looked like an explosion given human form. Her long blonde hair shone like flames, and every move radiated strength. On each arm she wore gauntlets that Marble knew from the Internet worked like shotguns. She took off her sunglasses and glared at Limestone. “I’m Ruby’s big sister. Is there a problem here?”

And thus Limestone learned of regret.

Author's Note

Largely unrelated, but Overly Sarcastic Productions is a treasure.

And yeah, I've just been watching this particular spore of madness as it develops. No idea where it's going from here.

Enriched Platonium, by FoME

Sunny Flare's apartment very definitely had not become a second home for Lemon Zest, all evidence to the contrary. That was Sunny's story, and she chose to believe it.

Even if Lemon was wearing a borrowed bathrobe, sitting on her couch on a Saturday morning, and blowing on a mug of something that had begun as coffee before getting adulterated to within an inch of its life.

The world had gone slightly mad, after all, and Sunny reserved the right to contradict those parts of reality that were clearly in error.

"Oh hey, you got an invite too!" The cry broke Sunny out of what definitely wasn't denial. Lemon picked up a piece of stationery that nearly matched her skin tone, aside from the gold-embossed heart that had sealed it. "'Bout time they tied the knot, you know? They've been basically joined at the hip since before I was in middle school." After a moment, she said. "Well, I dunno if they were joining at the—"

"I'm just going to stop you there."

"That is wise."

Sunny gestured towards the invitation with her own cup of admittedly less than black coffee. "So, who is this 'Shining Armor,' anyway?"

Lemon grabbed her phone off of the coffee table—she'd slept on the couch, after all, proof that this wasn't a second home in any way—and started poking away at it. "Crystal Prep alum, star player during the Friendship Games eight years ago, Twilight's brother—"

"Twilight Sparkle has a brother?"

"Uh, yeah?" Lemon pointed her phone and Sunny, letting her see an admittedly handsome man she vaguely recalled seeing around school. "Heck, he's how Twilight met me and Uncle John. She got dragged to this big reunion for some reason, sat under a tree and read the whole time right next to him until I came by and..." Lemon winced. "Well, she was twelve going on thirty, I was twelve going on seven. Not exactly the best first impression. I like to think I made up for it later."

"How?"

That got a snort of laughter. "Dude, it's Twilight we're talking about. I just waited until she forgot she ever met me and tried again."

Sunny nodded. "That would work. Back then, anyway. Pretty sure she uses magically reinforced memories to keep notes on everyone these days."

"No question." Lemon turned back to the invitation and smiled. "Still, good for Cadence. Shining's a sweet guy. Not bad looking, either. Seriously, everyone in that family's adorable when you catch them off-guard."

"What did you do?"

"I am shocked, shocked by those entirely accurate allegations," said Lemon, smiling even more widely than before.

If the corners of Sunny's own mouth had turned up a little, that was probably just another dismissable glitch in reality. "So?"

"When your niece who's like ten years older than you brings her BF to the Cheekbones family reunion, you remember the look on his face when you introduce yourself as her aunt."

Sunny raised an eyebrow. "'Cheekbones family reunion'?"

"Yeah, based on the evidence, there's some of bit of our mitochondrial DNA that makes every woman in our family get cheeks that could slice tomatoes." Lemon poked her own and sighed. "So I've got that to look forward to. Seriously, Mom, Aunt Abby, even Cadence is already getting it a little. Though it did skip a generation with her mom." A genuine frown crossed her face like a cloud in front of a completely platonic sun. "Only lucky thing that ever happened to her."

Sunny coughed into a fist. "I was asking if that was actually your family name."

"Oh. Nah, we don't really have one. Binomials, sure, but nothin' solid. Heck, Twilight's mom is Twilight Velvet, but her dad's not Shining anything. He's Night Light." Lemon grinned and leaned back into the couch. "Naming conventions, how do they work?"

"Unconventionally," said Sunny.

Lemon toasted that with her "coffee." "You're Sunset-dang right."

"So, what do you think the odds are that Principal Cadence will ask us about our wedding if we go?"

"First off, I don't have a choice in the matter. I'm going. Mom's ordered Cadence to let her volunteer to cater it, and I've been ordered to volunteer to help."

After a moment of thought, Sunny said, "I really don't know if I respect or fear your mother more."

"She'd take that as a compliment. And to answer your question? One in one." Lemon rolled her eyes. "Which is ridiculous."

Sunny considered the intricate sun icon embroidered on the bathrobe, and the fact that she had no issue with Lemon wearing it. "Yeah. Completely."

Pre-Patch Exploit, by Masterweaver

Flurry Heart was, by happenstance, conceived the very moment the Saturation occurred.

She was not the only one, of course. On the planet Earth alone, oblivious to the confrontation of worldwide significance, eighteen other children were also conceived to fourteen couples, two women who just wanted a fling with their respective partners, and one unfortunate victim who had no idea what her future would hold. And as magic rippled across the cosmos, through long isolated galactic communities, various nonhuman species would find a smattering of wunderkind, blessed or cursed with strange powers and wisdom that would lead them forward out of the dark age.

Flurry Heart did not learn any of this.

She slumbered peacefully through the events of the Friendship Games, through her discovery (and her parent's panicked realizations), through a hastily thrown together wedding meant to look as though it was well-planned. She twitched occasionally in the oncoming months, new eyes opening to darkness, limbs stretching as they grew, testing digits as they came into being. The genetic code for Equestrian magic, hastily implemented into humanity, wove itself through every stage of her development, unchecked by the measures that only existed seconds after her creation. A versatile powerhouse grew in the unsuspecting womb, emerging after a long period to the worried love of her parents.

Flurry Heart did not recall any of this.

It was fortune and fortune alone that allowed her condition to be diagnosed by the new guardian of the world. Had she been born further away, to parents who did not have a personal connection to Sunset Shimmer, she might not have been noticed. And because she was noticed, Sunset was able to locate the others like her on the planet, explain the situation to their parents—not all of whom were in the best of places, and some of whom did not appreciate the information. Still, they knew, and they made preparations that otherwise would not have occurred. Some were for good. Some were for ill. And in a secret place, Sunset told the secret watchers what she had learned, and secret protectors were assigned.

Flurry Heart did not discover any of this.

Flurry Heart was a child of the new world. She could not picture a reality without magic, without intelligent animals or computers that talked back, without superheroes or giant monsters, without semi-powerful churches or legitimately powerful demigods. Oh, she knew that such a time had existed, yes, but that didn't mean she understood it; when her aunt was literally holding the universe together and her babysitters could range from being able to grow humongous to having meta-temporal knowledge, the idea seemed incomprehensible.

She wandered through the new world, wide-eyed and eager, for most of her childhood. Unaware of just how protected she was, or just how special she was—not that she didn't know she was special, only that she didn't realize her uniqueness. She laughed, cried, played, threw tantrums, all the usual manner of antics children got up to. It simply didn't occur to her that magic, any magic, had not been woven into such actions beforehand.

So she could not, for the life of her, understand why her parents had grounded her for enchanting the silverware. Again.

Sunny Flare crossed her arms as the woman she'd been dating for years now rolled on the ground laughing.

"It's not funny."

Lemon Zest was unable to reply through her guffaws.

"It is... only a little bit funny."

"I don't get it," Flurry Heart said, tilting her head. "Why is she laughing?"

"Oh geez, hahahaaaahaa, she, she, pfffaaahahaha!"

Sunny Flare took a deep breath. "No, Flurry Heart," she said slowly, "we are not the result of Abacus Cinch pouring out all her 'grumpiness' to make a new person. Lemon Zest is her niece, and we did both attend Crystal Prep while Cinch was in charge, so we do know her."

"Ooooooooh." Flurry nodded. "So that's why she looks like Grumpgran!"

Lemon's laughter redoubled as she clutched her stomach. "From thehahaha mouth of babes! Hahahaaaahahahaaahahahaaa!"

Sunny pinched her brow. "I am so sorry for her behavior, Cadence."

"Isn't that my line?" Cadence asked, quirking a brow. "I mean, I'm the one asking you to babysit..."

"Hahahaha.... haaaa... whew." Lemon finally sat up, clapping a hand on Flurry's shoulder. "Kiddo, you and I are going to have a heck of a lot of fun together, I can tell."

Author's Note

When Abacus Cinch learned why she'd found herself wearing a hideous sweater that read "World's Grumpiest Gran" and drinking from a similarly captioned mug, her only response was, "You are all tremendously fortunate that my great-granddaughter is as adorable as she is."

Oracle Error Message, by Malandy and FoME

Author's Note

This short assumes some familiarity with Crossworlds Guardian, Sailor Orbital!

Oracle Error Message, by Malandy and FoME

(Malandy)

"So, who do you think the Moon Princess is? It can't be any of us, or we could've used the gates once we found the first one..."

"Hmm... Well, maybe Vice-Principal Luna? Given her Equestrian counterpart's history, it'd make the most sense... But, who else is Moon-themed that we know?"

"Lessee, there's Moondancer, Moonlight Raven, and... Trixie? I think that's it?"

"Wait, why are we guessing, if we could just ask? And no, not Dinky, the Fates!"

"Oh, great and powerful Fates, please help us humble heroes on our quest to save the world. Answer us one question, if you please. Who is the Moon Princess?"

(FoME)

The three girls silently exchanged looks, then looked to the center of the cafeteria.

From her table, Sunset Shimmer nodded as if to say, "Yes, it's exactly like that." Applejack and Rainbow Dash seemed to be holding each other back from intervening in an increasingly knotted tangle of limbs. Rarity was just giggling to herself and had her phone pointed at their table, doubtlessly recording the whole thing.

Sweetie took a deep breath. "Okay, you do know I don't have a perfect view of the future, right?"

Blue Oyster nodded. "That's what I said, but they insisted on trying to cheat."

"It's not cheating," said Ditzy, "it's using available resources."

"That doesn't mean Razz can go full Shimmerist on them."

Raspberry Fluff might have blushed at that, though it was always hard to tell with her skin tone. "It's not like I hold them above the Divine Bacon Horse. I just wanted to make it sound appropriately epic."

"Ahem." A few people from a nearby table, all with two-toned sun charms on their person, glared at Blue. She glared back.

Ditzy took the air, grabbed Blue by the armpits, and began dragging her away. "Oh no, we're not going down this rabbit hole again."

The other Shimmerists got out of their seats.

"No theological arguments when I'm in the room!" cried Sunset.

The other Shimmerists sat down like their legs had given out.

"For what it's worth," Sweetie said to Raspberry, "I really can't see much regarding the whole alien thing."

Apple Bloom nodded "Our powers don't work well when other dimensions an' such get involved."

"Also, Dinky knows you tried to pull this," said Scootaloo.

"Oh." Raspberry gulped and clasped her hands. "O Glorious Proclaimer—"

"Yes! Fine! Just stop praying to me in the cafeteria!"

Irresistable Bait, by FoME

When someone lived for centuries, they found themselves returning to the same thoughts time and time again. The world changing more quickly just meant that the cycle had accelerated to match. And thus Adagio Dazzle came to a conclusion that she'd already reached several times in the past decade:

Detention is a punishment because no one wants to be in school.

Of course, the students weren't punished by having to be Mr. Discord's teaching assistant. Granted, they hadn't tried to scrape samples off of Coloratura's heartstone while she slept, so Adagio grudgingly allowed that there might be some justification in her playing science monkey to a bunch of disinterested children.

A bang like a gunshot shocked her out of her ruminations. "And that," cackled Mr. Discord, "is what happens when you take away the strong nuclear force!"

Alright, "disinterested" could never describe a student in that madman's class. And that was putting aside the boys and occassional girl who'd been spending more time looking at her than whatever Mr. Discord was doing. Adagio had to admit, there had to have been something in the water at Canterlot High. There wasn't a bad-looking specimen in the bunch. If things had gone her way, she'd probably have kept the town as a breeding population for eye candy.

One snack in particular made her take a second look, followed by a lengthy third. A glance at the calendar confirmed that she hadn't gone back twenty-odd years without realzing it.

"... and Adagio will return your exams to you." Mr. Discord saying her name brought her attention to the stack of papers nudging her shoulder. She rolled her eyes. Everyone in the room knew he could simply send the things back to their owners, but this was her punishment. Tide's sake, he had to make them tug her towards the right desks; it wasn't like she ever bothered to learn the fry's names.

Though she did pay attention to one. When she got close, she shuffled that test to the bottom of the stack. After handing them back to everyone else, she lingered by her target. "So. Button Mash."

He blinked up at her. "Uh, yeah?"

"I don't suppose you'd know a Brave Heart?"

Button gave a slow nod, incomprehension plain on his face. "He's my dad."

"Really? How fascinating." Adagio knelt next to him, favoring him with a half-lidded smile. "We met somewhere in the Seashells, just off Mount Aris."

"Can I have my exam back?"

That got a throaty chuckle. "You know, I could teach you so much more than—"

At that point, a pillar of bright green magic slammed Adagio to the floor. She lay there, stunned more out of shock than pain or injury. "What just happened?"

"Sweetie Belle used Future Sight," Button said, sounding far more certain.

"That tells me nothing."

"Tells me what she was frowning at during lunch."

"Really, Adagio, I thought a siren would know better than to toy with one chosen by the Fates." She blinked and found herself standing in front of the class again. Mr. Discord shook his head, not even bothering to hide his smile. "And that's another week of TA duty for not waiting until they're eighteen and out of my classroom."

Author's Note

Ruto, Lulu, Mipha... There's something about Link and fish women. Apparently it's genetic.

And yes, that's meant to be a pun on the Seychelles.

Peter Pupa Beware, by Masterweaver

"Okay, okay, light powers, light powers..."

Abstract "Abby" Cognition flexed her fingers, looking out amongst the crowd. Her eyes glowed briefly as she examined the people around her, trying to figure out...

to...

...that was strange. There, in one corner, sat a woman of pale blue, her own golden eyes locked on Abstract as an amused smile came to her face. She wasn't of any aspect that Abby had seen before, either.

Something about her seemed...

Abby shook her head, shutting her eyes momentarily as she tried to focus. When she looked up again she couldn't help but let out a squeak; the woman was there, right in front of her.

"U-um... hi!"

"Hello, child." The woman leaned forward. "Hmmm... ah. You seek, do you not?"

"I... guess?"

"But of course you would seek. It is in your nature." A single long finger tapped Abstract's nose with a giggle. "There are others who seek for reason, but you... you seek because you are that which is sought."

Abstract Cognition frowned for a moment. "Are you... are you going to just spout cryptic nonsense at me all day?"

"Certainly not, and three times over! I do not have all day to speak, my words are far from nonsense, and you deserve not a spout but only a trickle. Though..." the woman grinned as she leaned back. "I suppose you could be right about 'cryptic.'"

"Riiiiight... I need to get back to practicing."

"Must you truly?" the woman asked sadly. "I know of that power as well, little Maid."

"Oh, you've read Habittrapped?!"

"Is it really something that can be merely read?"

Abby giggled. "Yeah, I guess 'reading' isn't the best word for it. Still, Light is an awesome power!"

"Perhaps... but the character of those who have wielded it is not to be envied." The woman ticked off her fingers slowly. "The Seer, whose arrogance led to her acceptance of those beyond her kith, who after her ascension was left to languish in drink and died pointlessly... or, should I mention the other, who saw her daughter and mother slain in front of her?"

"Er—"

"The Sylph," the woman continued. "Such a charming young woman, was she not? Such a shame she turned out to view others as pawns, and disposable ones at that. In her madness, she attempted to defy and control, and so was slain, justly. Do I not recall these events correctly?"

"Well—"

"And of course," the woman finished, "the Thief. Oh, the words that could be said of her... and yet none so easily encapsulate." She smiled. "And now there is you, young Maid. Seeking understanding of what you have, for it is what all seek... and yet Light is not Hope, for a very good reason."

"I mean, sure, it can be dangerous," Abby agreed. "But... isn't it better to understand Light? To know how to avoid the dangers?"

The woman quirked an eyebrow. "You will not be swayed, I see. I suppose that is to be expected. A warning; those who play with powers great should beware others as such. I have no quarrel with you, yet... I suspect we shall have dealings in the future."

"...Who even are you, anyway?"

"One who has seen the new board and decided to play."

"What?"

"Abby!" shouted a new voice. Abstract turned to see her sister running up. "Geeze, what were you doing?"

"I was talking to—" Abby turned back, only to find the woman gone. "...what?!"

"What?"

"Did you see the woman? She was just here—"

"Are you okay? It's not like you to hallucinate."

Abstract Cognition looked from her sister's face to the space where her conversation partner had just been.

"I... I'm not... She was right here...."

Beyond the Stars, by Speckle

It wasn't that Abstract Cognition's house was small, far from it. Heck, even her bedroom was spacious enough for her to fly around without tumbling over the foot of her bed.

"...and there's this girl who has her own blog and she had some awesome theories of her own, one of them being that everyone has two Hero Titles as a result of the flux between Aspects..."

She even had a whiteboard in her room.

An honest to goodness whiteboard.

"...Like, say, if you were a Prince of Heart as your primary, you could also be seen as a Sylph of Mind, because the absence of emotional baggage gives you a better grasp on the logical functions of the mind.”

But the fact that Abby was currently buzzing around her person like a hummingbird high on sugar wasn't helping Twilight in terms of note-taking.

“That's—”

“Crazy complicated, I know, though she sorta inspired me to include a Double Hero Title for all of you," Abby continued to orbit the purple girl with a big, excited grin on her face, "Which then evolved into the singular Master Title for all seven of you, because you all honestly fit the bill for the term.”

Twilight blushed, looking away from the cluttered whiteboard. “I... wouldn't say that, exactly.”

It was only then that Abby stopped flying in circles, hovering motionless in midair, only moving her head to level the flattest look to ever be leveled by anyone at Twilight. “Out of all the humans on Earth, in this city, Magic itself chose you to be its personal avatar to discuss its very existence with the girl who is now endowed with cosmic power and quite literally holding together our known universe to keep it from evaporating. How does that not qualify either of you to have a Master Title?”

Well, when she put it like that... “... Um—”

“Heck, Jade 'Witch of Space' Harley needed help from her Denizen Echidna and a Fenestrated Wall to take her Session with her to the Alphaverse in order to win her team's Game," Arms now akimbo, Abby managed to aim one at Twilight, finger pointed for emphasis, "You and Sunset basically hacked your Game to win and got away with it.”

Needless to say, despite her research into the online 'comic' that had inspired the most recent magic system into existence, Twilight had no idea what Abby was talking about.

“.... Er....”

“You dive headfirst into the unknown with the intent to learn as much as you can for the greater good of science, ergo Seer of Void. But you've also been burdened by the knowledge you learn and, despite the aforementioned hacking, feel as though you're lagging behind despite the leaps in progress you’ve made, thus a Mage of Light," Abby's frustration evaporated as though a switch had been flipped, her giddiness returning to her features. “You embody the Knowledge Classes and the two Aspects associated with Understanding, so I figured you deserved a Title that captured the essence of both. Now, I admit, for a while I got tied up with Horsey's rule of single-syllable designations—”

“Wait, what?”

“—but then I figured that by combining Titles, that's basically creating a double-syllable system," Abby zoomed right up to Twilight, her grin reaching Pinkie Proportions. "That's why, in your chapter, I refer to you as the Scholar of Stars. Because that's what sages of old used to study for guidance, the stars.”

The glow that seemed to resonate deep within Abby's light purple eyes didn't unnerve Twilight in and of itself. The fact that both glows looked to be shaped like a pair of stylized suns, however, did. A pair of stylized suns that looked an awful lot like one of the cutouts that'd been Scotch-taped to Abby's thesis paper.

"That's...um..."

"And it totally has a thematic connection to your icon,” Zipping backwards to a respectable distance, Abby resumed her excited orbiting, “It's the perfect synergy!”

For the umpteenth time since she agreed for this little study session, Twilight Sparkle didn't know whether or not to be impressed by the other girl's drive or afraid.

Author's Note

"Let me tell you about Homestuck" is as much a threat as an offer.

I Would Give You the Stars, by Crack-Fic Kai

Sunset lay on Twilight’s couch, utterly defeated. Every one of the gifts she’d tried to get Twilight had backfired. The Super Library was... unavailable, creating life from nothing was so energy- and time-intensive to be practically impossible, so she couldn’t build Twilight her own planet, Twilight could already build herself a lair or robot army if she really wanted one…

She groaned. Forgetting her anniversary wouldn’t have been so bad if it hadn’t literally been turned into a national holiday without her noticing. Hey Twi, I’m sorry I’m the only person out of several billion with nothing to show for today, but you love me anyway, right?

The worst thing was that Twilight wouldn’t get upset. If it weren’t for Ruby then Twilight wouldn’t even remember. Twilight wasn’t going to raise her voice or even get mad. She was going to be disappointed.

There was a click as the door opened, and Twilight stepped. “Sunset? Are you in here?”

“Yeah,” Sunset said without getting up. “Sorry I just let myself in, it’s been a long day.”

“It’s fine,” Twilight called as she went into the kitchen. “I love having you over. There’s a documentary about magitech racecars on in a minute, you want to pop popcorn and watch that?”

“That could be fun,” Sunset said. “I’m sorry about today.”

“What’s there to… be…” As Twilight’s voice trailed off Sunset sat up. She didn’t any magical threats in the kitchen, and her mundane-by-comparison senses only registered Twilight alone. “Sunset,” Twilight asked. “What’s this?”

Sunset peered around the corner and looked in with her normal eyes. Oh no. “That’s just a painting I did of you, it’s not—”

‘It’s beautiful,” Twilight whispered.

“What?” Sunset looked at the painting again. It wasn’t anything special by anyone’s standards. She hadn’t even used her powers or increased intelligence to make it. The proportions were funny, the shading was completely wrong and the background wasn’t going to stop driving her crazy. “But it doesn’t look like you at all!”

“Okay, but— look at my hair! And my eyes, and the stars!” Twilight reached out and brushed the canvas with her hand. Sunset reached out to stop her, but magical runes were already forming over the painting.

Twilight squinted at them. “What’s all this?”

Sunset formed a second avatar far away in a desolate wasteland for the express purpose of screaming in panic. It helped. “That’s just… some notes I took… Of you.”

“While Twilight loves studying and laboratories, she also enjoys things that make her feel alive. Good examples of this are dancing and friendship adventures. She does not enjoy anything messy. Give her as much control as possible, as she likes helping people and views her intelligence as her greatest strength over her compassion, tenacity, and creativity.” Twilight sat the painting down and looked at Sunset with teary eyes. “Did you think of all the things you love about me and then, instead of wasting time with some lyrical poem thing, put them into an organized checklist?”

Sunset glared sternly at the members of the Make Twilight Happy Committee. “I must stress that we cannot let Twilight know I wrote this list. I don’t know how she’ll react, and I don’t want to take any chances. Okay?”

“Yep,” Sunset said, trying to recover from the emotional backlash. “That was my plan all along.”

“This is the most romantic thing I could imagine anyone doing for me!” Twilight squealed and pulled Sunset into a hug. She felt Twilight’s heart beating against her chest, and smelled chalk dust and lavender in her hair. “I love you!”

Sunset squeezed her back. “I love you too, Twi. I just wish I had more to give you.”

Sunset felt Twilight pull back but didn’t open her eyes. She leaned her forehead against Twilight's and relaxed. “Sunset,” Twilight said, “I know you love me.”

“I know, I know—”

“Sunset, look at me.”

Sunset opened her eyes and was struck dumb by Twilight’s eyes. The younger girl reached up and tucked Sunset’s hair behind her ears. “I know how much you love me. You are an amazing person and that is always enough. Okay?”

“Okay,” a helpless Sunset said. She shivered as she watched Twilight smile and lean in.

They’d shared hundreds of kisses in the past, and would share more over the course of their lives. Some were under more romantic circumstances, some under more passionate ones, and at least one was incredibly bittersweet. But whenever Sunset thought about Twilight from that point on, this was the kiss she thought of. Because this moment wasn’t about a situation, or even a feeling. It was the moment where two people truly understood one another, and stayed anyway.

Eventually, they needed to breathe. Sunset was annoyed by this limitation and elected work on it later. “Wow,” she said. “So. Uh, you want to watch that documentary.”

“Or we could make out.”

“Let’s do that one.”

And until Shining Armor and Cadance came back from their date, it was the best night ever.

Unconventional Approach, by FoME

The lights turn up amid soft strains of violin music, going from darkness to something gentle and intimate. A woman with an exotic aspect sets down her glass of luridly red wine and faces the camera. "Hello, human scum," she says as though it's a little inside joke, just between the two of you. "Welcome to the live premiere of 'This Is Your Fault,' where we'll review the laughable follies and shameful failures of your species from the present day back to when you were too stupid to stay in your trees, where you belonged.

"Our first topic is the typewriter." Her smile turns coy. "Now I know what's passing for thought in that woefully limited little brain of yours; Why the typewriter? After all, we could cover genocides, nuclear meltdowns, climate devastation that you're still doing." She shakes her head as though you confessed persisting a bad habit you've been trying to quit. She lifts the wineglass again and contemplates the contents as she swirls it. "Ocean acidification is no joke, my little monkeys. But the reason for today's topic is simple enough that even you can appreciate it." The glass comes to a halt as her lips tighten the slightest bit. "I got my hair caught in one of those infernal devices back in 1947 and I have no intention of forgiving any of you for that embarrassment."

"It was hilarious," says a voice from off-camera. "She shrieked like a beached dolphin the whole time."

"Quiet, Aria." The genial demeanor shows cracks, as does the hostess's voice. And the wineglass. The violin music continues unimpeded.

"The best part was how she wouldn't let us cut her hair at all."

The hostess throws the wine on the floor, earfins flared and fangs bared. "Shut it, Aria. You can get your own show."

"Come on, Adagio. I was actually impressed when you ran around the entire office with that thing trying to eat your scalp. And it never came out! Thing must have weighed, what, ten, twenty pounds? I figured it would've just torn a chunk out of your scalp, but no!" The offscreen voice turns thoughtful. "Pretty sure it's still in there somewhere. You still do the 'wash it every century whether it needs it or not' thing, right?"

Adagio screams and lunges just off to one side of the camera. As hellish screams ring out, the violin music finally comes to an end. Another girl, her instrument still in hand and a smile on her face, sits in Adagio's place.

"¡Hola, tacorinos! Welcome to Queso Corner, where we discuss only the finest cuisine in the tri-county area. And place bets on those two." She jerks a thumb at in the direction of the ongoing scuffle, audible mostly as snarls, shrieks, and the odd meaty thwack. "Who wins? Who dies? You, the viewer decide!"

Sunny Flare paused the stream. "They should probably just stick to Siren Spell Stories."

"Debatable," said Lemon Zest. "We should see what Aria does when she's hosting first."

Author's Note

This was typewritten at Bronycon 2019 and transferred here afterwards. See also the Unconventional Trilogy, either found at or linked from the linked story.

Conspicuous Consumption, by FoME

Dating the debatably divine came with a number of perks and at least as many issues. Foremost among the latter was the recognition factor. Nothing put a damper on a date quite like petitioners prostrating themselves before one's girlfriend. Twilight imagined it was something like being part of a celebrity couple, only the fans and paparazzi got rolled into one. (Most of them, anyway. A few genuine gossipmongers still hovered around Sunset in the hopes of the scoop of the century.)

That was where one of the perks came in. Unicorn aspect magic wasn't one-to-one with pony spellcasting, but it was similar enough that Sunset had easily ported over a number of spells, including a perception filter that kept people from consciously registering the two of them as important enough to bother or bother with. Neither Twilight nor Sunset was entirely comfortable with screwing with onlookers' minds like that, but the alternatives were all illusions, and a being composed partially of Honesty found that more discomforting.

Also, the disguise spells kept giving Twilight her mother's coloration, and that was just creepy.

Thus the two were able to enjoy a simple lunch date at the local Hey! Burger in peace.

"Fried hay," said Twilight.

Well, peace from external interruptions anyway.

Sunset held her transmuted order close to her, as though protecting it from Twilight's protestations. "It's a lot better than it sounds."

"Fried. Hay."

Sunset shrugged. "Honestly, frying's optional. Why do you think I like celery so much? One of the first things I did after I could spare enough focus to manifest a body was alter it to digest cellulose properly."

Twilight looked back and forth between Sunset and what had become of her order. "Dried pasture grasses that are then dropped in simmering oil."

"I've already told you about the daisy sandwiches, and this is what trips you up?"

"'Daisy' is actually a very taxonomically vague term. Some human-edible flowers are called daisies. But frying hay..." Twillight sputtered for a moment as all the objections tried to come out at once. The winner was "Why even bother making hay?"

Sunset smirked. "The sun shone."

"Ha. But couldn't you just fry the grass without the extra step?"

"Couldn't you just fry a side of beef without grinding it and who knows what else into a pink slurry first?"

Twilight pouted. "Don't you badmouth my slurry."

Both giggled at that for a few moments. "It's not like the average Hayburger springs for the best stuff available," Sunset said afterwards. "Fast food is fast food no matter what the universe; you get what you pay for, but first they slather it in grease so you don't notice."

"About that. Putting aside the parallels between the chains and how much fat an equine sophont might actually crave—"

"I've seen Princess Celestia's cake vaults, Twilight. Trust me, it's a lot."

"Cake vaults? Plural?" Twilight shook her head. "Putting that aside, is 'Hayburger' literal?"

Sunset tilted her head in thought. "How do you mean?"

"Is a hayburger an actual patty made of hay, or is there some town called Hayburg somewhere in Equestria?"

"Both."

Twilight sighed. "I'm not even remotely surprised. At least tell me the patties are grilled."

"Of course." Sunset held up a box that had contained potatoes a few minutes before. "Hay fries are a side dish. It'd be like making a sandwich full of nothing but onion rings."

"Yes." Twilight cleared her throat and straightened up in her seat. "That is definitely something no one has ever done."

A loaded tray hit the front counter. "Order 78!"

"Oh, that's—" Sunset blinked as the order teleported in front of a salivating Twilight. "You know, the perception filter works best when we don't draw attention to ourselves."

"I specifically ordered separately from you because I knew how long mine would take. I am starving right now. Let me have this." And with that, Twilight began to feast, magic tearing off wrappers, gathering ketchup from across the restaurant, and otherwise contributing to the obliteration of her meal.

Sunset watched in silent horror for a few moments. "A non-negligible part of me wants to blast you with rainbows for what you're doing to those poor, innocent sandwiches. Just saying."

"Can't talk," Twilight said around her latest mouthful. "Brain needs calories."

Lemon Hearts blinked. "Huh."

"What is it?" her roommate said as she lay on her bed.

"Sunset Shimmer posted something in the 4-S MyStable group."

That got Moondancer to look away from her textbook. "Why is she posting something in the Shot-Down Sparkle Suitors Society?"

"It's a video. The caption just reads 'This is what you're missing out on.'"

Moondancer scowled as she got up and moved to get a better view. "I didn't think the spirit of Harmony would be capable of trolling the less fortuna—"

She paused halfway to the laptop. Anyone would when faced with the sounds of such... enthusiastic mastication.

"Holy bark," said Lemon Hearts, her face pale and unable to look away.

Moondancer completed the journey and nodded as her suspicions were confirmed. "You didn't say it was a video of Twilight eating." She noted Lemon's attention on her. "What? Don't you remember Minuette's twelfth birthday party?"

Lemon's complexion approached that of a lime. "I do now."

We Loathe Fine, by FoME

Adagio sometimes felt an almost physical pain when she thought about how much she had regained while still not having her voice: Gills. Magical facsimiles of fins. Fangs that at least came close to proper ones. But her heartstone was still lost and broken, and she still couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. But one ability she'd retained for all of her long, strange, and often frustrating life was perfect pitch, above or beneath the waves. If there had ever been a siren who couldn't tell one note from another, she'd been eaten by her siblings shortly after hatching.

As such, she was able to tell that the shriek filling the house was very nearly a perfect A# six octaves above middle C, with just enough dissonance to bring back the sting of loss. She was also able to tell that it was too-damn-early o' clock on a Saturday.

Adagio staggered out of her bedroom to see Sonata holding up a black T-shirt and gasping for breath, presumably gearing up for another shriek. "Whatever it is," Adagio growled out, "don't."

Sonata pouted for less than a second before she started to snicker. "You—"

"I am aware that I have a pillow trapped in my hair, yes." It wasn't the first time, and they both knew it wouldn't be the last.

"Oh, hey, you're actually up before noon." Aria said as she breezed by. She turned to Sonata before Adagio could cajole her woozy brain into producing a proper comeback. "Those them?"

Sonata nodded. "They look even better than I'd hoped! I knew this was the guy to ask." She held up the shirt again, still pointed away from Adagio.

"Huh. These actually don't suck. We might sell a few."

"Sell?" The salt-choked gears of Adagio's mind finally started to turn, even without coffee to dissolve the crust. "The new shirts for the online store?"

"What else would they be?" Sonata flipped the shirt around, revealing a grumpy portrait of Adagio herself. It was actually fairly accurate, aside from her hair being the wrong color. And far greasier than it should be.

And then she thought to read the caption.

"No. Absolutely not."

Sonata nodded. "I thought you'd say that." She gave a grin sharks would envy. "Which is why I already ordered a run of five hundred."

Aria high-fived her. "Nice. I'm gonna go punch zombie cops."

"Have fun!"

Adagio snatched the shirt out of Sonata's hand. "I refuse to let that moment be memorialized like this."

"It's already all over EweTube. Besides, the shirts are super-cheap. They'll probably fall apart by next year." After a moment, Sonata added, "If anyone washes them. Which might be asking a bit much."

Adagio threw the shirt on the floor hard enough to make the pillow follow suit. "My name is not Asiago Dazzle, damn it!"

Sonata winked and said the same thing she did when they were on stream. "But if Sunset's the Bacon Horse, you're totes the Cheese Fish!"

No Exceptions, by cogwheelbrain (Suggestive)

CHS Cafeteria, lunch time. Around one table sat six young adult humans and one young adult ~~unicorn~~ ~~deity~~ other sophont. The topic of conversation: the recent re-introduction of magic and the current undertaking of saving the universe.

“Sunset, something I’ve been meaning to ask. When you integrated magic into the universe, what did you have to change to make everything continue to work? Adjust the speed of light? Tweak Avacado’s Number? Round off the value of pi?”

“I’m a Pie and I’m round!”

“Heh. Sorry, Pinkie not that type of pie,” Sunset chuckled. “To answer your question, Twilight, nope, I didn’t muck with the default settings: your flashlight still turns on or off just as fast as before, Pranck’s constant still is, and Rule 34 still pervades the Internet.”

“Yowza!” Pinkie blurted.

Rainbow Dash choked on her soda. “Seriously?! Did you seriously just go there?”

Rarity rolled her eyes at Sunset. “Oh, darling, there’s no need to be so crass.”

Twilight blinked in confusion. “Rule 34? What’s Rule 34?”

“Twilight, you don’t... don’t know… oh, my.” Fluttershy stuttered, blushing slightly. “Even I know what what Rule 34 is.”

“So, what is it?”

“It’s one of the core rules of the Internet,” Rainbow helpfully offered. “Even I know that one!”

“‘Rules of the…’? There are no such things! I’ve read all the documentation surrounding the protocols and operation of the internet. There are no fixed ‘rules’ to using it!”

Sunset said, “These aren’t ‘official’ rules towards the operation of the whole thing, they’re more a humorous response of how the internet get used by the general populace.”

“Ok, that doesn’t explain anything. So what exactly is Rule 34?”

“It’s a joke, or at least started as one in some dark corner of the internet. It basically says, ‘If it exists, there’s porn of it.’” One of Twilight’s eyebrows shot up above the frame of her glasses. Sunset continued, “Or alternatively, ‘If it exists, there’s porn of it somewhere on the Internet.’” The other eyebrow joined the first. “And, more or less, it’s a true statement. Even worse, from what I’ve heard of other universes that have an Internet or something like it, that rule seems to always come into play. Thus, a universal constant. Multiversal, even.”

At her own lunch table, Ditzy Doo thought of beans and shuddered.

Silence overcame the table while the rest of the girls waited to see how Twilight would respond to this new nugget of information that had somehow slipped through the cracks of her academic endeavors. Mostly silence, anyway. Rainbow was too busy trying to not fall over from laughing at the whole thing.

“That’s ridiculous! I know there’s porn out there." Twilight looked off to the side and muttered, “Just ask my brother.” Fluttershy’s blush increased and Rarity raised an eyebrow of her own. “But, really? ‘If it exists, there’s porn of it?’ Come on, there’s some weird people out there, with some… ‘weird’ fetishes, but there can’t be that much porn, or at least there can't be that much ‘weird’ stuff’”.

Rainbow lost her battle against the double onslaught of her own laughter and gravity and fell out of her chair with a squawk.

“Um, Twilight, I think you’re underestimating how much…,” Fluttershy paused, searching for a tactful way to explain her thoughts, “... how ‘weird’ and perverse people can be, especially on the Internet. One time, I did a search on 'gardens gone wild' expecting weeding tips, but that... wasn’t what I got.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Twilight deadpanned.

“It’s true, darling," said Rarity. "Whatever your, um, 'bent,' shall we say, someone else has already addressed it on the Internet.”

“And you know this how?” Twilight asked her.

Rarity’s pristine alabaster appearance suddenly took on a pinkish hue. “I will admit I’ve had to do some... ‘research’ for the occasional ‘odd’ commission before. And there are some ‘interesting’ ideas out there.”

“‘Interestin'’, huh?” Applejack smirked.

“Quiet, you.”

Sunset turned back to her purple friend with a slight smirk. “If you don’t believe us, why don’t you just test it? You’ve got your phone on you.”

Twilight sputtered, “You want me to go look up porn? On my phone? Now? In the middle of the cafeteria?”

“Why not? Think of something that there can’t possibly be porn of and do a Gillion search for it; just enter your item and add the word ‘porn’. It’s that simple. If you’re right, you won't find anything. And if you’re wrong…” Sunset shrugged. “Just think of it as an educational experience.”

Twilight looked at her phone like it was going to bite her. She turned to the rest of her friends for their thoughts on all this.

Applejack calmly said, “It’s yer funeral.”

Pinkie screamed, “Wave off! Wave off!”

Rainbow just fell back on the floor laughing even harder.

Rarity was back to her normal prim and proper self, but there was just a hint of a smirk in the corner of her mouth.

Fluttershy had blushed so much she was turning orange.

And then there was Sunset, smug and confident.

In her short life, there were two things that Twilight Sparkle had come to despise: not knowing everything and letting her best friends pull one over on her. “Fine!” she snapped. Pulling out her phone, she opened the Gillion search app. “Let’s see, what to search for?” she said, staring at the screen and tapping her chin.

“Ah, ha!” As fast as she could, she entered her query but paused before hitting the final ‘search’ button.” She held her phone up to the rest of the table so they could read the search terms: “Fancy Industries Magic Spectral Analyzer porn.”

Sunset just gave another non-judgmental shrug.

Twilight hit the ‘submit’ button and waited for Gillion to do its thing.

A moment later, the results popped up. Twilight looked at the results.

Then Twilight looked at the results.

The phone clattered to the table, barely missing Twilight’s neatly half-eaten sandwich with carefully removed crusts. She sat staring at where the phone had been in her hands a moment before. Pinkie waved a hand in front of her face. There was no response.

Sunset sighed, holding out a hand as her magic brought the phone to it, then looking at the results. Then giving an impressed whistle.

“What? What is it?” Fluttershy asked cautiously.

Sunset cleared the search and the browsing history, then turned the phone off with a click. “Lemme put it this way: once Twilight.exe reboots, something tells me she’s going to go back to her lab and sterilize everything.”

Surprise and Other Elements, by cogwheelbrain and FoME

Author's Note

Context: There was a brief discussion of how capital-M Magic feels about devices designed to analyze it. I said it was still getting used to the idea of not hiding from everything that sought to understand it. cogwheel though it might have a bit more fun than that...

Surprise and Other Elements, by cogwheelbrain and FoME

(cogwheelbrain)

“Twenty thaums… Twenty-two… Twenty-three… Twenty-four… Twenty-six… Moustache.... Wait. What?”

Fancy Pants reread the freshly printed calibration output from the latest prototype of the next generation Fancy Industries’ Magic Spectrum Analyzer (pat. pend.). Right in the middle of the printout was an image of a very familiar looking moustache. It had the same basic appearance as the one he saw in the mirror every day.

“Ms. Spice?!” he yelled.

A moment later, the door to his office opened and his secretary entered. “Sir?”

“Has anyone been in this room today?”

She shook her head. “No, sir.”

“Hrm…” He squinted his eyes at the prototype on his desk. “Please send a note to the R and D division, inform them that I want a review of this unit completed as soon as possible. I’ll provide notes as to why shortly. Thank you, Ms. Spice.”

Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle sat eating lunch together. Suddenly, a luminescent glow filled Twilight’s eyes. Then Magic giggled.

Pinkie’s eyes also started to glow. “What did you just do?”

“Nothing.”

“Really,” Laughter said as flatly as she could.

Magic grinned, altogether too pleased with herself. “Just a harmless prank.”

(FoME)

Applejack looked back and forth between the two, then turned to Sunset. "You gonna break this up any time soon?"

Sunset shrugged. "I'll give them another minute. If it keeps up or spreads further, I'll be worried. For now, it's nice to see some of us go into Harmonious mindspace without being completely consumed."

"I'm more worried 'bout Magic itself developin' a sense o' humor."

"I'm basically a composite harmony elemental and I have a sense of humor."

Applejack shuddered. "An' thank you fer my nightmares tonight."

A Brief History of Pink, by FoME

Being friends with Pinkie Pie wasn't easy. It certainly wasn't relaxing; even Rainbow Dash could feel exhausted watching Pinkie go for too long. But sometimes the exhaustion was more mental, especially when they had to work together on school projects. Pinkie could be fun, yes, but getting her brain to wrap around a given concept when it didn't want to could be a tremendous struggle.

Performing a scene from Zothello had seemed like it would be simple at first, but when it had taken their entire social circle twenty minutes to convince Pinkie that "the Moor of Veneighs" didn't refer to the harbor and another twenty to assure her she wouldn't have to perform it in stripeface, Dash knew she'd be in for the long haul.

Still, they needed to rehearse, and between the two of them, Pinkie was the one with the backyard. As such, Dash landed on the Pies' front step one balmy November morning—okay, afternoon, but that basically qualified as morning on weekends—and rang the doorbell.

Marble answered the door, which Dash knew was a big step for someone who was basically Fluttershy squared. "Hey," Dash said with a small wave. "Here for Pinkie."

"Mmhmm." Marble moved aside, letting Dash in as she went upstairs.

Five seconds later, Dash found herself both terribly bored and terribly curious. She spent almost no time in the Pie household outside of Pinkie's room, and the overall effect was like being in an old timey photo, all blacks and whites and beiges. And a lot of rocks. Every surface seemed to have at least one, some of which appeared to be furniture in and of themselves.

Then, in a moment that might have been surreal somewhere where Pinkie didn't live, Dash realized that part of the old-timey photoness came from a wall of mostly old timey photos. They formed a timeline of the Pies going from left to right, and it was hard to tell when color film got involved. It was still gray people in gray clothes against gray backgrounds, only now there was the occassional bit of brown. Pinkie's baby photos were the only thing to break the trend.

Dash frowned. Well, not quite. There was one woman in some of the photos, her complexion what Rarity might call a pale rose, her hair in giant ringlets. She was big; not obese but scaled up, normal proportions but just bigger than most people.

She trailed the woman back and found her mother, a woman with a much more wiry build but with a smile on her lips while the other's was mostly in her eyes. And as Dash trailed that one back, she settled on what must have been a dance club almost a century ago. The picture was yellowed and cracking beneath the frame, but the girl in it was full of energy. Familiarly so.

In fact...

Dash squinted and leaned in closer. She had plenty of firsthand experience with the limits of the human body, and the girl's arms seemed to extend past those limits, acting more like rubber hoses than flesh and bone.

"Yeah, it skips a generation sometimes."

"Wha!" Dash flinched back, putting a bit more distance between her and Pinkie, who'd said that directly into her ear. "Say what?"

Pinkie was still looking at the photo, looking more thoughtful than Dash had ever seen her. "The pink. Mom didn't get it, but Nana Pinkie did, and Great-Nana Pinkie before her. And it took Mom and Dad three or four tries before it cropped up again, depending on how you count it."

"So Pinkie's like a family name?"

Pinkie shook her head. "Not like with Twilight. We did a little genealogy research over the summer when she heard the pink was hereditary. You go back in her family tree and you've got Twilight Velvet, Twilight Twinkle, Twilight Realm, this big long line of female juniors. But Nana Pinkie's real name was Rose Quartz." She pointed at the large woman. "It was just that she was pretty much the only pink person in the family other than her mom, Pink Spinel."

Dash looked along the right edge of the wall and smiled. "And until you came along," she said, pointing out an image of Rose Quartz gone gray and smiling down at a beaming little Pinkie Pie in her lap, both wearing party hats.

Pinkie nodded, looking at the wall without seeming to see it. "Long, long line of miners and prospectors and quarry owners, and every so often they got someone who... wasn't."

"You okay?"

"Nana Pinkie passed on when I was eleven." Pinkie said it matter-of-factly, like they were studying for history. Except even then she'd be excited when she said an answer. "First funeral I ever went to. And Granny Pie was a few years later. After Sunset broke us all up."

Dash waited for Sunset to show up, apologize, break up the awkward atmosphere, and take over talking about people's feelings. Sunset did precisely none of those things. "Oh."

"Yeah. It... It was kinda rough for a while." Pinkie noticed Dash looking at her and gave a desperate smile. Or at least exposed her teeth. "But everything's okay now!"

"You sure?"

Pinkie bit her lip, but nodded. Then she latched on in something even Dash could tell wasn't a hug. It was the same thing Scootaloo had done when her parents had been stranded in Mozebrique for a few weeks with no way of contacting her.

It was clinging on for dear life.

Dash stood paralyzed, unsure if she should hold Pinkie or not. Before she could decide, Pinkie let go, wiped her eyes, and said, "Come on. We have a scene to rehearse."

"If you ever need to talk—"

"You're here for me. You all are. I know. It's just memories." Pinkie managed something that at least resembled her usual smile. "Come on, you need to convince me my wife's cheating on me."

Dash tried to suss out what Pinkie really felt and knew there was no way she was going to manage it. "If you're sure."

"I am." Another embrace, this one far less desperate. And one that Dash instantly decided to reciprocate. "Thanks."

Author's Note

"Moor" derives from Moroccoats, and historically from those who invaded this world's Iberian peninsula from across the Marediterranean. The following centuries of cultural, political, and religious shifts in medieval Espoña are beyond the scope of this short.

I know I reversed the relationship between certain holographic space rocks, but if you deny an instance of Spinel the opportunity to do the Charleston in a Roaring Twenties jazz club, why even bother using the character? Besides, Rose Quartz as Cloudy Quartz's mother makes more sense, inasmuch as pony naming conventions ever do. And no one said she was that Rose Quartz.

On the topic of naming conventions, the concept of the female junior, i.e. a daughter named after her mother, is lovingly borrowed without permission from Fylifa's Terms of Forgiveness.

Also, the mental image of the Bearer of Loyalty as Iago is too amusing for me to not do it.

The Margaritaville Search, by FoME

"Salt."

Sunset nodded. "Yup."

Twilight got up from her unpronounceably Scandineighvian chair and started pacing about Sunset's living room. "Not alcohol. Salt."

"Swear on Celestia's horn," Sunset said, still lounging on her couch.

"The primary intoxicant in Equestria is sodium chloride."

"Sodium more than anything. The equine nervous system is really sensitive to those extra electrolytes." Sunset smiled, looking off into the distance. "When I first got here, I couldn't believe I was allowed to buy instant ramen and not beer."

"I... I just..." Twilight threw up her hands. "Salt!?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "You know, I could always turn you into a pony, see how you handle it."

"I thought the entire purpose of how we reintroduced magic to the world was to keep us from turning into ponies." After a moment, Twilight added, "Excepting headgems and such."

"I don't see why you should be the one who gets to cuddle me all the time." Sunset crossed her arms and pouted. It was admittedly a very cute pout.

Twilight, however, had a secret weapon in the war of cute. A blend of memory and imagination called up a much smaller version of herself in a star-spangled party hat who gasped at Sunset in delight. "You weren't the one who wished for a unicorn best friend to do magic science with when she blew out the candles on her sixth birthday cake."

After a moment looking at the tiny Twilight hugging her leg, Sunset said. "I don't even remember what I wished for on my sixth birthday." She patted the little illusion on the head and gave a disappointed "Aww" when it vanished.

"I kept meticulous notes."

Sunset rolled her eyes for some reason. "Of course you did."

"Getting back on topic, salt?"

"Do we really need to get back on that topic?"

Twilight pointed towards the kitchen. "I've seen how many instant ramen packets you keep in your pantry. I know you've altered your digestive system. Should I be concerned?"

That got another eyeroll and a sarcastic "I can stop anytime I want."

"Sunset, seriously."

"Don't worry, Twilight." Sunset sat up and tapped her temple. "My mind doesn't depend on a physical brain these days. I could down a dozen Pickled Slugs and not even notice if I didn't want to."

Twilight screwed up her face. "Pickled Slugs?"

"They sound a lot more appetizing in Equish."

"What are they?"

"Not every species in Equestria produces alcohol as part of their digestive processes. Legend has it Princess Celestia invented the Pickled Slug as a sort of universal social lubricant during a Convocation of the Creatures." Sunset hummed in thought. "It might have actually been Princess Luna. A lot of her accomplishments got attributed to Celestia during her banishment."

"I see." Twilight spent a few moments contemplating her next question, then decided she was due for a bit of spontaneity. "I... don't suppose you recall the recipe?"

Sunset blinked. "Really?"

"I've been told some degree of underaged drinking is a vital part of a full high school social experience. And you've piqued my curiosity."

That got a smirk. "I can pique more than that." A golden flash manifested two shotglasses on the cheap table. Sunset floated one to Twilight's waiting hand. "Cheers."

Twilight awoke to a pounding headache. And neckache, limbache, tailache, hornache...

Wait.

Yes, she did in fact appear to have hooves at the moment. And a sleeping Sunset—a rarity in and of itself—was cuddling her like a beloved stuffed toy.

"I'd think this was all part of some cunning scheme," Twilight whispered at a volume that wouldn't split her head open, "but I'm too tired to care."

Twenty minutes later, the alarm went off, resulting in an angry whinny and a horn blast. Which, to be fair, worked just as well in terms of waking up Sunset.

Author's Note

Some people claim there's a goddess to blame, but she knows it's her own darn fault. :facehoof:

Not-a-God-Tier Cosplay, by Crack-Fic Kai

There were a lot of reasons Sunset didn't shapeshift often, but mainly it just made her feel self-conscious. She had complete control over her body, and every time she made a small cosmetic change she’d notice something or wonder if it looked better the way it was before. The first time she’d asked Twilight for advice the poor girl had just panicked, but they’d gotten much more comfortable with each other since then and Twi had agreed to help Sunset with her Nightmare Night costume.

Sunset shifted her muscles a little looser and pulled her hips in, going for a more gymnastic build. “What do you think of the arms?”

Twilight nodded thoughtfully. “Good. You’re going for a dancer's build. And stop worrying about your body, you look great.”

“Easy for you to say,” Sunset said. “You get a shirt.”

Twilight giggled a little nervously and tugged her Space Trek: Inheritors captain's uniform down, trying to straighten non-existent wrinkles. “I really think you look great, but if you’re worried you could wear Cheddar robes instead?”

“Not authentic enough.” Sunset reached up felt her brain-tails, her cold hands feeling decidedly odd pressed against the rougher skin. “If I was going to do this the easy way we wouldn’t have invented an alien.”

Sunset turned back to the mirror, admiring the work she’d put in. Turning her skin a darker red hadn't been a challenge, and neither had removing the hair on her body though it left her feeling oddly numb. The real work was all under the skin, as she and Twilight had set out to re-create the Twi’lek race from The Force Wars. Sunset had created several smaller stomachs to hold food over longer periods of time and modified her olfactory senses to match an alien that lived off mushrooms on a desert planet. Her sense of smell wasn't stronger, but everything was so different. Like looking at the world in a mirror, or listening to a song with some of the notes removed or reversed. She couldn’t wait to try eating.

She was really proud of making her brain-tails, or lekku work. Twi'leks were supposed to be incredibly graceful, and the lekku were supposed to have some kind of connection to their sense of balance, so she'd shortened hers and reworked how her body perceived gravity. Rather than maintaining balance with an inner ear, her lekku tracked gravity and momentum of everything around her in a roughly four-foot bubble.

It was invigorating, and it didn't help her calm down. As she paced, she could feel the subtle way the floor bent under her, and was beginning to learn how to step on creaky boards without making noise. Experimentally, she sat a book upright on the bed and knelt beside it. “How far away are the girls?”

“Uh…” Twilight paused as Sunset successfully slid to the other side without knocking the book over. She stacked more books and slid back towards Twilight. “I don’t know. I remember that Applejack was bailing out some researchers in… somewhere from… something. What are you doing?”

“Just playing with my new powers, sorry.” Sunset sat in the office chair, but found she couldn't sit still. She conjured a rubber ball and closed her eyes, bouncing it off the wall and catching it with just her new senses. It was easier than she'd thought it'd be; while the ball bounced out of range fairly quickly, she had more than enough time to catch it and instantly knew where it was in relation to herself. The chair rocked up and down as she moved. “Are you feeling okay? Should I be worried about AJ?”

Twilight swallowed. “Uh, no. Earth Core is… a little gung-ho from what I remember, but they're competent. Rarity’s with her, she’ll call if things get bad.”

“Good.” Sunset briefly let her awareness widen as she checked on AJ. The whole area she was in had the odd magical static that followed the Kaiju attacks and interfered with her powers, but AJ and Rarity were fine. They weren’t even using their own magic yet. She missed the ball as it careened past her head, but caught it behind her before it could knock anything over. The chair began to turn, and she pulled her feet in and enjoyed the feeling. “I hope they can learn more about where these monsters are coming from,” She said as leaned back to keep the spin going. “Do you have any theories?”

“Um,” Twilight said again. “No, I've been busy with your body. I mean! Your. Um, assets, nope, I mean, uh...”

"Huh?" Sunset opened her eyes, and looked at Twilight. The other girl was blushing and kept trying to look away from Sunset but failing. It took her a moment that her pose; arched back, legs curled, chest... up, was more than a little suggestive. "Sorry!" She exclaimed as she summoned a cloak. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking I swear!"

“No, you’re fine!” Twilight said. “I enjoy— I mean, it wasn’t… uhm, you’re fine.” She finally managed to look away and locked her eyes onto the floor. “You’re fine,” she said again more quietly.

Sunset frowned. She tugged her robes more firmly around herself and scooted the chair next to Twilight. “Are you?”

“No, I’m fine! I just…” Twilight glanced at Sunset’s eyes and looked away again. “I don’t want you to think I’m a pervert or something.”

“I’m wearing a leather bra and no underwear,” Sunset said, perhaps not helpfully. “Look, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re thinking. If you want me to wear more, then I’ll go like this, okay?”

Twilight smiled. She leaned over and gave Sunset a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re a good girlfriend.”

“Thanks.”

“And-you-can-lose-the-cloak-if-that’s-okay," she blurted out as one word.

Sunset smirked and the cloak dissolved. "You are literally the cutest person I've ever met," she said as she kissed her on the forehead.

Author's Note

The Cheddar Order of laser-sword-wielding space monks is a direct homage to Darths & Droids.

Blinding Brilliance, by Speckle

"—and that got me thinking about how Light can affect the workings of the Narrative—"

"Abstract?"

"—without harming the free will of the people, of course! I'm not making that mistake."

"Abstract."

"But, I mean, come on! The questions it raised... I had to experiment, just a little, to see if it would actually work or if it's just a Heart Aspect thing!"

"Abstract."

"Which I sort of get, considering part of Heart's jurisdiction is identity and that definition can be stretched to mean—"

"ABBY!"

Abstract Cognition's mouth snapped shut as Twilight's eyes skipped right past lavender, turned pure white, and glowed like high beams. Which was quite a feat in itself...

"Turn. Off. The Light."

... considering that everything in her room, from her carpet to her bed to the dust on the windowsill, had become nothing but solid constructs of light.

"... okay."

Author's Note

When Twilight Sparkle tells you to tone down your experiments, you've probably gone too far.

Stranger than Pony Fiction, by FoME

Back in her bad old days, Sunset had turned to graffiti as one of the many ways to both vent her frustration at her magicless prison and refine her fine motor skills. She'd tagged much of the area around her warehouse home with a blend of longing, impressionistic murals of Equestria, grotesque caricatures of Princess Celestia, and the kind of angry slogans that made Sunset feel embarrassed for herself whenever she thought about them now.

At least today, she felt more embarrassed for everyone else in the room. The assembled bishops of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse all squirmed in their incredibly ergonomic seats, and even Ruby refused to make eye contact from her across the enormous mahogany table. The overall effect was less a Manehattan conference room and more a classroom just after a pernicious question from the teacher.

In this case, that question was "What do you think?"

A few moments passed. It became clear that no one else in the conference room was going to speak. Sunset held back a sigh and broke the silence. "Firstly, Mr. Pablum, thank you for taking the time to put together this presentation, and for making sure I would attend."

Powdered Pablum of Flimflam, Pablum, & Tripe nodded and beamed. "This is rather outside of my usual work, but I know your relationship with the Church is..." The earth aspect advertising executive paused as he hunted for a word, slate-blue hand drifting towards his greying combover. "Shall we say, fraught at times. I thought it would be best if you here personally to see my ideas for improving its image."

Sunset raised an eyebrow and panned her gaze over the Church officials. "I was unaware its image needed improving."

"There's always room for improvement, o Glorious Proclaimer." Sunset mostly held back the wince. Mr. Pablum didn't seem to notice. His smile certainly didn't shift. "And in this age where the younger demographics question and discard so many of their parents' traditions, I think this is exactly the sort of thing that will allow the Church to appeal to them directly rather than feeling forced on them by older generations."

"That's... certainly a goal to strive for." It was a goal. One could strive for it. Nothing about the statement was false.

"Even if the Church is less than a generation old," Belladonna muttered.

"Better to be prepared ahead of time," said Mr. Pablum.

Sunset allowed herself a nod. "That being said, I have some reservations about the design."

Mr. Pablum's smile shifted for the first time in the entire meeting. "Such as?"

And, with a feeling not unlike jumping off a cliff, Sunset said, "For one, if you'll pardon my bluntness, why is my mouth stabbing into my eye?"

Author's Note

For reference (TW: Demigenerational art shifts.)

Flummox Flimflam is only distantly related to two certain ne'er-do-wells in the Canterlot area. That's her story and she's sticking to it. And say what you will about the Pony Life designs, but goodness knows there's comedy fodder to be had.

Just a Phrase, by FoME

Twilight felt her eye develop a twitch as she read the proposal. Finally, she let it drop onto Sunset's coffee table, shut her eyes, and took a deep breath. "It is by will alone that I stay my mind from madness. It is by the grace of Friendship that lips acquire grins, the heart acquires warmth, the warmth becomes a pleasure. It is by will alone that I stay my mind from madness."

"Easy there, miss Mintal." Sunset sat next to her and draped an arm over her shoulders. "I thought you'd be all over this idea."

"The concept is absolutely sound." Twilight slumped along the couch as she spoke, gradually guiding her head to Sunset's lap to start a routine that worked wonders for relaxing her. "The only reason we shouldn't have pushed this earlier is because no one understood how magic behaves in this world well enough to write the curriculum."

Sunset started stroking Twilight's hair. "And I'm guessing writing said curriculum isn't the problem either. We're consultants here; this will be an actual class, not a vlog series. Okay if I let out the ponytail?"

Twilight nodded, shut her eyes, and sighed. After a few moments, she spoke again. "I honestly wish I could do more to help on that end. Education was my backup plan in case the whole 'scientific wunderkind' thing didn't pan out." Another beat, and she added, "Well. a backup plan."

"So what's the problem?" Sunset held out a hand, letting her catch the brush that had floated over from her bathroom.

"I know this is going to sound really petty, but..." Twilight cracked one eye open. "Did you have anything to do with the name?"

Sunset quirked an eyebrow and started brushing. "It's based on the anti-drug program, just like everything else."

"Yes, but..." Twilight trailed off, only continuing after Sunset stopped brushing. "After visiting Equestria, I became a lot more cognizant of how frequently this world uses lowercase equestrian terms. I know the etymology behind many of them, some going back millennia, but... Well, it's like seeing both parts of an optical illusion. You can't not see it after it clicks."

Sunset magically grabbed the proposal and looked it over, her hands busy with something far more important. After some lengthy deliberation, she shrugged. "I don't get it. What's so bad about 'Magic Awareness and Responsibility Education'?"

Twilight just groaned. "It is by will alone that I stay my mind from madness..."

Author's Note

Fallout named the drug after the living computers of Dune. Kkat took the drug in a different direction. Now we have come full circle.

Also, let's face it, even the canon EqG world could use a M.A.R.E. program.

Hakuna Makura, by FoME

It wasn't the first time the two girls sat in silent embarrassment. Judging by Sweetie Belle's smirk when she peeked in on them, it wouldn't be the last, nor would it likely be the last time Rarity telekinetically threw something at her sister without moving. But that didn't make it any less awkward for either of them. Every now and then one of them would look at the other, open her mouth, refresh her blush, and look away again.

Finally, Rarity cleared her throat and said, "Y-you have to understand, I can't always sew when I'm thinking, so sometimes I sketch."

"Sketchin'," said Applejack, her eyes focused on the opposite wall of Rarity's bedroom. Definitely not at the girl sitting next to her on the bed, and definitely not the object at their feet that had lurked beneath that bed until she'd accidentally discovered it. "Sure."

Rarity tugged at her fingers as she spoke. "And, well, I'm accustomed to getting down ideas before I forget them. Including, shall we say, more..." She kicked at said object. "Personal ones."

"'Personal' sure is one way t' put it."

Rarity turned to Applejack and at least tried to smile. "And you know my stance on pillows, dearest. One can never have too many, and they come in all shapes and sizes! Neck pillows, throw pillows, bolster pillows—"

"Body pillows," Applejack said as she finally looked down at her own face.

"Er, yes." Rarity followed suit, taking in the blushing, silkscreened likeness of the girl next to her. "And, well... Would you believe it was Fluttershy's idea?"

"I might, if I thought you'd show them sketches to anyone else."

The two stared in silence for another few moments. "If it's any consolation, it's a very poor substitute. It can't cuddle back, for one."

That got something like a wheeze. Rarity turned to Applejack just in time to see her force down a smile. "I ain't jealous of a pillow, Rares. I'm just tryin' t' get past that get-up." Applejack looked back down warily. "'Specially since most of it got up an' left without me."

"I... may have made the lingerie in question..." Rarity muttered, unable to look at either Applejack as she said it.

"And that ain't how my toenails look these days. How long you had this?"

Rarity felt her cheeks burn anew, and her temper along with them. She faced her grilfriend and said, "Well, that depends. How long have you kept that white unicorn plushie in the foot locker in your bedroom?"

Applejack's eyes widened before she turned away. "... Ain't like that can cuddle back neither."

"Quite." Rarity leaned her head on Applejack's shoulder and smiled as she felt a strong arm wrap around her.

"But seriously, darlin', get rid o' the thing."

"Don't ruin the moment, dear."

Author's Note

What a wonderful phrase...

Also, friendly reminder that that is Rarity's canonical stance on pillows.

Getting Her Measure, by Speckle

The day was Saturday. The atmosphere was cool inside the Boutique. And Rarity was somehow flitting between two dresses without any visible lightbow.

“In addition to time-space being associated with fabric—you know, like, the fabric of space and such? Well, there’s also the fact that she’s got a creative knack to make just about anything art-related under the sun and making that anything work. That’s a trait that goes hand-in-hand with the Sylph Class."

Rarity was too busy fixing a seam to pay much attention to Abstract Cognition's monologue, as In the Zone as the pink-skinned sophomore.

“And when it comes to Time, she finds a way to manage it, making time for school, schoolwork, family, and her budding business. I mean, she’s not like Aradia in the sense that she can produce an army’s worth of Doomed Timeline Clones, but then again, no two similar Hero Titles use their abilities in the same way. So, yeah, Maid of Time."

Twilight had only managed to read up to Act 3 of the insane webcomic thus far. She still had a hard time wrapping her head around the story and what mechanics were found in its lore. That being said, she still had some inkling of an idea what Habitrapped was about behind its general insanity and nonsensical narrative, so some parts of what Abstract was relaying managed to click better than when they'd gone over her own Title.

“Time and Space are absolutely necessary for a successful Session: without either, you’ll lose the Game and no new Universe can be spawned. Your friend Rarity is pulling double-duty as someone who makes time and someone who manages the stage of the main story.”

Purple eyes blinked curiously behind a pair of glasses, “What story?”

“Metaphor, duh. For life, living, existence. In this case, the story of her life and the lives of her family and friends, and even the world as it is now.”

Twilight attempted to nod, but a weird noise of protest from Rarity (who held four pins tightly between her lips) got her to tilt her head back up.

“Anyway, as a person who Creates with both her Classes and Aspects, you have to admit that Tailor of Worlds sounds really good," Abstract finished with a wide, proud grin.

"I...guess?" Twilight would've shrugged, but the odds of Rarity making another weird noise were high, so she just sighed, "I wish I had my notebook..."

"Why'd you volunteer to help model for the dress if you wanted to take notes?" Abby asked, having no real issue with holding her current pose, noting out of the corner of her eye that Twilight was two wobbles away from falling off her podium.

"Do you remember asking to model when we walked inside?"

Abby opened her mouth....and let it hang there for a minute as her memory shared with her that no, no she most certainly did not volunteer for this. She didn't even remember getting stripped out of her normal clothes and being fitted, the white-skinned fashionista a whirlwind with her measuring tape.

"... Whoa," Abby's jaw resumed movement, a big grin lighting up her face, "so that's how she uses her Time Aspect!"

Twilight could only sigh again.

Devotion to Blue, by FoME

The moment Sweetie Belle opened her bedroom door, she knew who to blame. She wasn't sure what she was looking at or how it had gotten there, but there was only one possible culprit.

"RARITY!"

"Honestly, Sweetie," came the response from behind her, "I'm across the hall, not across the country."

Sweetie stepped aside to offer a clear view of her violated sanctum. "What did you do to my room?"

Rarity furrowed her brow, looking back and forth between room and sister. "Cleaned it?"

"Not that, that!" Sweetie jabbed a finger at a gaudy pile of blue gemstones that would've fit in better in a dragon's lair. Three diamond-shaped ones vaguely formed Rarity's icon in the center.

Rarity arched an eyebrow. "These are bold words from a girl who's invaded my personal space more times than I can count."

"Yeah, but I never took up half the room with whatever that is."

That got a pout. "What, don't you like it?"

Sweetie rolled her eyes. "I told you, I don't know what it is. All I know is that it's taking up space where Button's Yule gift should be and you're obviously the one who made it. And shoved his in my closet." The portrait wasn't exactly the finest craftsmanship, but it was the thought that counted. And that it portrayed Sweetie as a bounty hunter who shot aliens and didn't afraid of anything.

"What gave me away?" Rarity fluttered her lashes. "The elegant lines? The refined aesthetics?"

"The forty pounds of costume jewelry."

"Costume? Puh-lease. I'll have you know I trekked to Equestria to get you the finest baby blue sapphires my equine counterpart and I could procure."

Sweetie frowned at that. "Wait, didn't Sunset say we're not supposed to bring in gems from Equestria?"

"Not to sell, no," Rarity said with a dismissive wave, "but I should think that making a gift for my dear, beloved, and woefully unappreciative sister is a worthy cause."

Sweetie shrugged and looked back at the lump. "So what is it?"

"Can't you tell?"

"How many times have I already asked that question?"

Rarity gave a long-suffering sigh, which might have had an impact on Sweetie if she hadn't heard it at least once a week for most of her life. "Honestly, some days I wonder how I even came about my artistic vision. Well, Rainbow Dash was telling us all about Scootaloo's little shrine to her, and well..."

She trailed off as Sweetie turned to face her, the expression on the younger girl's face enough to stop her cold. "Really?"

"I just thought—"

"Rarity, Scootaloo doesn't have to live with Rainbow Dash. She's definitely never had to share a bathroom with her. I am not worshiping you."

Rarity spouted off a number of shocked noises. "Well! Just for that I ought to cast you out or smite you or something."

A golden flash from the shrine made both turn to it. Sunset Shimmer brushed some dust off her shoulder and waved. "Hey. Sorry I didn't return your text earlier, degenerate matter forming in a nebula, long story." Sunset scowled. "Now, what was that about smuggling gems out of Equestria?"

Rarity paled as much as she could. "Er, well..."

Sunset blinked, glanced behind her, and quirked an eyebrow at Sweetie Belle. "Is this a shrine?"

"Rarity did it!"

"Sweetie!"

"You did."

"And that's how I ended up here for the weekend," Rarity concluded.

Princess Twilight Sparkle gave a slow nod, her wings fidgeting. Which, to be fair, made her one of the best composed ponies in the establishment. "I... see. I didn't know the Ponyville Hay Burger even had an employee uniform."

"It doesn't, beyond a hat," said Rarity, fighting back a twitch as she once more became aware of the synthetic fabric pressing against her shoulders. "Sunset improvised."

"That does explain all the sapphires."

Rarity nodded, making various parts of the rayon monstrosity clatter against one another. "Quite. So, that was two number nines, a number nine large..."

Author's Note

Inspired by a comment here.

Holy Hugbox, by FoME

"Sunset," Rarity said one fine spring day at lunch, "I fear we need to do something about your worshipers."

Well, it had been a fine spring day, at least.

Sunset snorted. "Sorry, how many times have you tried to get Sweetie to worship you?"

"This isn't about me, darling, it's about the Digital Positivists."

"That's a new one," said Rainbow Dash.

Twilight shook her head. "It's actually one of the older ones. They believe that rather than ephemeral prayer or fleeting gestures, the best way to show their devotion is to like, upvote, or otherwise positively respond to anything and everything with Sunset in it on social media."

Applejack raised an eyebrow. "An' you jus' knew that off the top o' yer head."

"I'm the cohost of the holy vlog. It's hard to miss them when they turn every comments section into an an almost unbroken string of 'Praise Sunset.' At least they make sure the videos trend." Twilight crossed her arms and scowled. "Even if the term positivism should refer to empirical certainty."

Sunset sighed. "What did they do this time?"

"Well," said Rarity, "the problem lies with the Radical branch of the faith."

"Because that always bodes well," Sunset said as she rolled her eyes. "Shimmerists who explicitly call themselves 'Radical.'"

Dash frowned. "What's so bad about that?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "Different kind of radical."

That just deepened the frown. "This is the whole 'awesome' thing all over again, isn't it?"

"What other ones are there?" said Pinkie.

"The Orthodox branch," said Twilight. "They only feel the need to like and comment on images and videos that clearly have Sunset's face on or in them."

Rarity resignedly rested her head in a hand. "Whereas the Radical branch feels they must show their favor to anything even vaguely Sunset-related: A picture of her icon, a leather jacket with orange accents, a portrait of her done in ketchup and mustard."

Pinkie perked up and whipped out her phone. "Ooh, I've seen that one!" She shoved it in Sunset's face, letting her see an admittedly impressive likeness given the materials. "It took them four tries to get the blend for your skin tone just right!"

"And now, by the 'Six Degrees of Crispy Bacon' principle—Oh!" Rarity brought a hand to her mouth. "No relation, darling, he's an actor."

Sunset gave her a flat look. "I'm not that pop-culture illiterate, Rarity."

"We can never be too sure. By said principle, they've decided that my TackNote posts are fair game."

After a few moments of contemplation, Sunset said, "So... you're upset because you're getting bunches of likes?"

Rarity shook her head. "Bunches of meaningless likes. I use social media as a neutral observer, a million unbiased eyes who can tell me if my vision is truly as inspired as I believe it to be or if it's..." She cringed. "Well, Carousel Couture."

Applejack put a hand on her shoulder. "I thought that dress was nice."

"You're a sweetheart, dearest," Rarity said with a pitying smile, "but it made me look like a desk lamp. And even you can tell me no sometimes. The Positivists would like me wearing a burlap sack, just because I'm close enough to Sunset that they feel it's their duty to like it. They've turned my sounding board into an echo chamber."

Sunset gave a helpless shrug. "You know I can't control my worshipers, Rarity, and it's not for lack of trying. I'm sorry about this, but I don't know what you expect me to do."

"Actually," said Twilight, "I think I have an idea..."

Sunset frowned at the monitor, almost physically nauseous from unease. "I'm really not sure about this."

Twilight had on a wide smile, the one she wore when she was too enchanted with the theory to see any problems that might show up in the execution. "Once I proposed it, every influencer on the Net got onboard."

Sunset winced. "I have been eating into their viewer base, haven't I? But are you sure this will work?"

"It fills a vital niche. The Digital Positivists didn't really have a place to congregate, given their online form of worship. At best, they had forums where they'd post images of you or links to them." Twilight gestured to the website "But now they have a content aggregator that lets them praise you without disrupting anyone else!"

The site displayed rows upon rows of Sunset and Sunset-related images, along with yellow upthumbs and red downthumbs. Twilight had assured Sunset that the graphics settings let users toggle which was which.

"Sunnibooru..." Sunset grimaced. "Is this one going to achieve self-awareness?"

"Gillion said it would keep anything else from bootstrapping."

"That's not a ye—" Sunset's jaw clicked shut as a horrible realization hit her.

Twilight finally looked away from the monitor. "What?"

"There's porn of me on here, isn't there?"

"I haven't looked," Twilight said with a shrug.

"Guess."

After a few moments, Twilight shrugged again. "It's hard to say. On the one hand, you're their object of worship. On the other, you're an attractive young woman, it's the Internet, and it's not strictly against site policy."

Sunset massaged her temples. "You apes are so lucky my default state is serene tranquility."

Author's Note

It really does make her look like a desk lamp.

From the Horse's Mouth, by FoME

Shimmerism didn't really have scripture per se, certainly not in the sense of a written work revered by every faction that worshiped Sunset. Some composed their own—indeed, many were still composing their own, to the point that one devoted young Baconist had gotten an icon of a three-ring binder—but the closest thing the religion as a whole had to holy writ was Sunset's vlog. Commandments were few and far between there, mostly the obvious bits like "Thou shalt not kill" and "Thou who canst shalt possess enough basic human empathy that thou shalt not need some deity to tell thee not to kill or steal or suchlike, not that I am one." The remainder were the less obvious things to avoid doing with magic, like time travel or listening to anything that whispered in dreams and wasn't the vice principal of a high school.

Sunset had no intention of composing anything more concrete than that. "Thou shalt not worship me" wasn't going to work, no matter how much she fantasized about it, and anything more intrusive would cross the line from constructive use of the religion that had formed around her to actually endorsing it. However, her autobiography wasn't meant as a holy text, just the story of the mare who'd broke and mended the world, told from her perspective.

It had taken a good six months for a majority of Shimmerist sects to accept that. Of course, Sunset had expected such a reaction, which meant she'd gotten that particular ball rolling before she'd written the first word of the rough draft.

Now, about a month after making sure the misguided hype train never left the station, Sunset checked in with her editor at a mutually appreciated coffee shop. "You said you had a few concerns?"

"I admit," said Rarity, looking at the manuscript over her red-framed detail-work glasses, "I was tempted to suggest slight tweaks to the less than flattering portions, but I suppose laying your faults bare was half the reason why you wanted to write the thing in the first place."

Sunset nodded. "A big part of it, yeah. That and to get the facts down before anyone went overboard with some big, ridiculous creation myth. No manifesting in a sunbeam, no forming the earth from the fundament, no Cosmic Egg. Just me."

Rarity smirked. "'Cosmic Egg'?"

"The latest attempt to reinterpret my cu— icon." Sunset shook her head. "That still trips me up sometimes."

"Very well then." Rarity huffed out a breath as she glanced at a different portion of the draft. "If I'm being entirely honest, I was also tempted to suggest a few tweaks to my own less flattering moments, but..."

"Applejack?"

"Applejack. It pays to have an editor for your editor." Rarity muttered inaudibly as she flipped to the early pages. "So, moving on to the suggestions we may actually want to act upon, the most notable issue for me has to be this one phrase you insist on using throughout, in good times and bad. I'm sure it makes sense to you, Sunset, but I honestly cannot make heads or tails of it."

"What is it?"

Rarity took off her glasses, the better to look Sunset in the eye. "That's just what I want to ask you, darling. What precisely are 'human noises'?"

Author's Note

Inspired by a chapter of Comma Typer's The Little Curiosities, which was in turn inspired by this anthology.

Also, every time you grunt or hum or otherwise make a nonverbal sound as part of a conversation? That's a human noise.

Illegal Precendent, by Firemind and FoME

(Firemind)

"Thirty hours! A little over a day!" Shining Armor grumbled, followed by a deep sigh of frustration that echoed through the nearly empty police station. "The world changed yesterday, and some ding-dongs use their newfound powers tonight to break the law right here in Canterlot!"

"And it took three hours in Manehattan!" Sergeant Coppertop was right as always; she'd always had a way of putting things into perspective. He'd be hard-pressed to think of a better partner. "And besides, you know those two are frequent flyers for underage drinking offenses. What did you expect Hoops and Dumbbell would do once they figured out they could literally fly?"

Shining gave a grudging nod. "And like you said, it's not like they're the only ones who're being... creative about it."

At that point, a rather familiar woman in her early forties entered the station, and—after a preliminary metal detector scan—made her way over to Shining Armor's desk. "Please have a seat Mrs. Press, I'm sure you're itching to know what your son and nephew got up to this time."

Mrs. Press, an athletic pegasus aspect, sat down at one of the two empty chairs in front of the desk. "The usual?" she asked, a weary expression playing across her tawny features.

"Yeah, with a twist. They flew up to the library's roof, split a case of Mulewalkee's Best, and were singing Freebird off-key by the time I found them." Shining gave her a moment to process that before he went on. "They freely admitted to all of this, and they both blew .11 on the breathalyzer, so there's not much chance of them getting off on this one."

"So same thing as last time?" Mrs. Press groaned deeply.

"Not quite," said Coppertop. "The bail's the same, but there's an added charge of indecent exposure. Your boys are gonna be lucky to avoid a stint in juvie." At the other woman's surprised reaction, the sergeant continued, "When we were searching for them after hearing their singing, one of them, we don't know which, shouted 'Look out below!' and peed off of the roof."

(FoME)

Sunset didn't hear about this until a few days later, when the universe had stabilized enough that she could risk splitting her focus with a human-scale avatar. By that point, Hoops and Dumbbell's latest arrest was old news to Rainbow Dash, and it was actually Twilight who brought it up.

"It's perhaps the least flattering demonstration of human ingenuity I could ever imagine," Twilight said long into the catch-up session/interrogation at the Boutique.

Sunset shrugged. "Well, if nothing else, it's proof that I didn't 'mind whammy' the population as badly as you guys thought. Otherwise I'd have had them do something more intelligent."

"I'm pretty sure you'd have to zombify those two to pull that off," said Dash. "No offense."

She froze under a gold-glowing stare like a desert at dawn. "I can literally reduce you to ash with a thought now," Sunset said far too casually. "Just saying."

Dash gulped. "Aren't you all, you know, 'peace, love, and harmony'-y now?"

"There's a limit."

Rarity cleared her throat. "Moving off of the topic of disintegrations, deserved or otherwise, did you mean for something like this to happen?"

"Depends," said Sunset. "Magical crimes? No. Leaving people the freedom to commit them? Sure. Free will includes the freedom to make mistakes. I'm already cleaning up the mess I made of the cosmos. I'm not going to be everyone's nanny on top of that."

Twilight gave her a lopsided grin. "You do realize people are already talking about religiously venerating you."

Sunset waved that off. "Please. Worshiping some random girl just because she's holding the universe together? Like that would ever happen."

Clever Hans Approves, by FoME and Malandy

(FoME)

Luna sighed, slumped onto the table, and wished she were drinking something stronger. "This is a terrible idea."

"I'm just saying," Cadence just said, "it does encourage higher performance on everyone's part at Crystal Prep."

"I can't believe you still do this even after taking Cinch's place."

"The students expect it. The parents expect it." Cadence's chipper facade slipped a bit. "And, well, the alumni who provide the bulk of our budget definitely expect it. I'm already in enough hot water with my other reforms; I couldn't get rid of the public test results even if I wanted to right now."

"Besides," said Glimmer Goodwitch, "you're clearly stalling."

"A bet's a bet," added Jace.

Luna grit her teeth. The lights in the bar flickered a few times before she bit out, "Fine. But you're going to help me frame it so Celestia doesn't suspect we're implementing this just because you have sharper gaydar than I do."

Cadence nodded, pleasant smile back in place. "Of course."

(Malandy)

Ringo looked at the exam results, and reached some surprising conclusions. Not from the standings in and of themselves. Everyone expected Sunset and Twilight to tie for first. After them came Lyra and Ditzy who, though quirky and clumsy respectively, were clearly very smart.

He'd just never seen all four names lined up together, and that sent his thoughts in an unexpected direction.

He was with the rest of Flash Drive, so he leaned over to their guitarist and whispered, "Hey, Flash?"

"Yeah, Ringo?"

"Anything jump out at you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sunset, Twilight, Lyra, and Ditzy."

"What..." Flash trailed off, confusion giving way to dawning horror. "Oh, no. No. No, NO!"

Ringo cut him off with an elbow jab. "Come on, man, you're making a scene. You have to admit, this is a lot better than the alternative."

"That my type is smart girls and not ponies? Sure it is, but you didn't see who came after Ditzy."

"Who... Oh."

A burst of smoke filled the hallway, and when it cleared it left a posing girl where none had been before. "Did someone say The Great and Powerful Trixie's name?"

Ditzy Doo appeared out of nowhere without so much as a smoke bomb, wrapped her arms around Flash's chest, and glared at Trixie. "Mine."

"Trixie wasn't—"

"MINE!"

Author's Note

No one steals Ditzy's waifu.

Wait...

Typos in a Four-Letter Alphabet, by FoME

"... so, in conclusion, if the deal seems too good to be true, it probably is, even if the raccoon's offering a no-interest loan." Sunset made a show of checking her watch. "We're almost out of time for this episode, so we'll wrap it up with the mailbag. Remember, folks, send your questions about Equestria, magic, or me to magical-underscore-mayhem at gillimail-dot-com. I try to answer everything, but it may be through links to vlogs where I've already discussed it, and if it doesn't have anything to do with those three topics, I'm not going to reply."

"We're quite happy together," added Twilight. "Please stop offering alternatives or additions to our relationship dynamic."

"Right. And today's is an... interesting one. I considered devoting a full episode to it, but this should suffice." In a flash of gold, a printout appeared in Sunset's hands, along with a pair of reading glasses on her face. "Ahem:

"Dear Sunset,

"I've found videos of the Rainbooms performing before the change, and I was amazed to see you sprout feathered wings and horse ears. Is there any way to replicate this today, or possibly producing a more animalistic anthropomorphic form? I'm a unicorn aspect, so I'm thinking about trying spells that could produce similar effects, but I wanted to check with you first.

"Sincerely,
Reshaper in Ravnica"

Sunset dismissed her props and gave the camera a deeply concerned look. "I picked this one out for a number of reasons. To recap for those unfamiliar with the details of pre-change magic use, my friends and I used to develop pony-like traits while harnessing magic." A photo appeared next to her of several of her friends and a Twilight in prom dresses, ears, and incredibly long hair. "The human body just wasn't designed to harness that kind of power, by which I mean both the intensity and the alien nature of Equestrian magic. It had to reshape itself to contain the energy."

Twilight nodded, her eyes faintly glowing. "Human magic was still in hiding at the time. Very few people could deliberately use it, most not realizing what they were doing. They'd never be capable of the things my counterpart or Sunset did."

"Right. Without some kind of stabilizer, even greater concentrations of magic would have resulted in more extreme transformations. Just before the change, we were all stuck in those 'ponied up' forms. Rarity and I even sprouted unicorn horns." Sunset grimaced and rubbed her headgem. "And it wasn't painless like with Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's wings. In theory, if the magic levels could have risen indefinitely without putting worlds at risk, we might have all completely turned into ponies even while staying in this universe."

"I didn't have any Equestrian magic of my own, so my own empowering by native magic just resulted in a lot of visible radiation." Twilight scowled, the light in her eyes going out. "And, you know, having the will of magic puppet my body in a last-ditch effort to defend the universe. Not fun."

"But we worked it out," said Sunset, her focus still on the camera. "During the change, capital-M Magic and I worked together to design new forms that were both morphically stable in the new normal and as close to human as possible. Believe me, there were a lot of options on the table. We could've ended up with tails, fur coats, hooves instead of feet..."

Twilight cut her off with a nudge to the side. "Sunset, a furry wrote that letter. You're just disappointing them."

"Right. Sorry, Reshaper. The point is that I wanted to adjust reality with as little disruption as possible. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who would have welcomed some more extreme tweaks, but I had to cater to the majority.

"Now, that brings us to the other main reason I picked out this letter." Sunset cleared her throat, then slammed her hands onto the desk both girls sat behind. "HOLY CELESTIA ON A UNICYCLE, DO NOT PERFORM LIVE TRANSMUTATION EXPERIMENTS!"

Twilight didn't acknowledge the outburst beyond adjusting her glasses. "Friendly reminder, Sunset's referring to the mare who moves the sun in Equestria's geocentric cosmology. Please do not worship her or her local counterpart. Also, Sunset, you may want to go into more detail."

Sunset cleared her throat and sat back down. "Right. Transformative magic is exactly as dangerous as it sounds. Your signature says it all. You're reshaping living organs and tissues. The damage you could do to yourself or others is potentially catastrophic. I changed humanity because it was the only way for us to survive. Doing this kind of thing for fun when working from first principles is suicidal at best."

"If I may play disharmony's advocate for a moment," said Twilight, "what about gender swap spells?"

"Oh, believe me, I looked into those the moment I heard about them. Most operate by inferring someone's appearance based on if their fifty-second chromosome came out differently. They just go down the path not traveled, they're not blundering through the woods and off a cliff."

"So what should Reshaper do instead?"

"Equestria does have some established transmutation spells. Some of the relevant texts have already been scanned into Gillion Spellbook. You can work from there, Reshaper, but for the love of all you hold dear, take it slow, take it easy, and test everything on a chicken drumstick first. It won't be a flawless testbed, but you'll see how the spell treats skin, fat, muscle, and bone."

Twilight brought a finger to her chin. "Is that how they do it in Equestria?"

"We use donated cadavers. Cattle consider donating their bodies to science and industry the highest good they can do postmortem. Equestria's entire leather supply is volunteered. " Sunset turned her attention back to the camera. "But I cannot emphasize this enough, do not use live test subjects for tissue-reshaping magic until you're sure it won't do something horrific."

"And on that happy note," said Twilight, "we'd like to thank you all for listening—"

One Ravnica High student paused the EweTube video. His friends traded a nervous glance over his shoulders.

"Should we tell her?" said Telomere.

Yolov gave his fellow unicorn aspect an incredulous look. "Are you crazy? If we've gotten away with it for this long, I'm not bringing the wrath of the Bacon Horse down on our heads."

Telomere bit the inside of his cheek. "But if someone gets hurt—"

"Hey, she's just talking about the pony side of things," said Kelp Bed. The earth aspect held out his hand and let seemingly liquid green and blue energies pool in his upraised palm. "We have a few other tricks at our disposal."

Telomere reluctantly nodded. "I guess. But we should still do the drumstick testing, though."

"Yeah, we'll lose a lot fewer lab rats that way."

Cardiopulmonary a Dull Moment, by Speckle

Author's Note

Content Warning: Homestuck.

Cardiopulmonary a Dull Moment, by Speckle

“Breath is all about freedom, direction, and the motivation to achieve both at your own pace. And your goals, of course! Breath, for all its detachment, is really big on goals.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

Having remembered her notebook this time, Twilight Sparkle barely looked up as she jotted down everything that came out of Abstract Cognition's mouth, even as it moved a mile a minute.

“And, from the outside, it looks a lot like Rainbow Dash is bread and butter Breath! BUT! She's always there for her friends, stands by them and the school as a whole, she's inspiring and almost leader-like whenever she takes up the torch of heroism—”

The pen stopped mid-scribble, “Torch of what-now?”

“—and all of that ties into things like Loyalty, responsibility, and taking the community at large into account. And that's Blood! I mean, sure, she's got an ego and is super obsessed with being cool despite everything, which is why I slotted her into the Knight Class AND the Page Class.”

Abstract Cognition was once again airborne, her lunch balanced on her stomach as she laid back in midair, as though resting within a hammock. Her juice forgotten in one hand, the orange glow around her grew brighter with every bit of exposition she spoke, warring with her lightbow in terms of brilliance.

“Pages start out slow in their Aspect despite producing it in crazy amounts without realizing, and Knights are all about masking their true personality with one that they believe society will accept.” Abstract wasn't really looking at Twilight anymore, instead focusing on the sole cloud in the sky as she gestured with her free hand. “But, more importantly, Knights utilize and apply their Aspect to just about everything they need to get through life. That's where the Knight of Breath/Page of Blood dichotomy comes in!”

Her own lunch forgotten beside her on the bench, Twilight chewed on her lower lip as she rechecked her notes for the ninth time before looking back up at Abstract. “But Rainbow's loyalty is obvious,” Twilight felt the need to defend her friend, glancing over at the open field before them and the soccer game taking place upon it.

It was easy to spot the rainbow-headed girl zigging and zagging with impressive speed between players without spreading her lightbow. Rainbow herself had set up the rules of this game and, because of the various aspects at play, decided on a "normal, old-school version of soccer." “She never would have been chosen if she hadn't been worthy of—”

“GANG WAY!”

Reacting with the speed and grace of someone used to hitting the deck whenever the PE teacher decided on volleyball for the sport of the day, Abstract somersaulted out of the air, bellyflopping onto the remnants of her mother's tuna salad while Twilight let out a loud, unladylike squawk as the forgotten juice nearly stained her notes. Meanwhile, a soccer ball sailed with incredible speed into the makeshift goal across from Rainbow Dash, the goalie very nearly losing his head as he dove for cover with a wail nearly identical to an infamous cinematic sound effect.

One very loud whoop and a resounding group cheer later, Abstract remembered where she was and, with bright red staining her rosy cheeks, she slowly got to her feet, looking down at the mess on her shirt. Twilight, meanwhile, had determined that nothing of vital importance—i.e. all four of her notebooks—had been lost, and so collected herself as much as she could before sitting back down and leveling a glare in the pegasus aspects' collective direction.

“... She also has an ego, as I mentioned before, and it's kinda huge.” Abstract's voice fell a bit flat as she tried to clean off the mashed fish and mayo with a napkin. “It's shrinking, sure, but it's still there. The biggest issue that a Page has, besides procrastination, is getting over their self-centeredness. Horuss only got over the first hurdle and Tavros never had the latter. Jake English, hoo boy, full package. Total train-wreck in terms of relationship management. Thankfully, Rainbow isn't Jake, but she's not exactly Tavros either.”

"... Rainbow Dash isn't obsessed with horses to a sexual degree," Twilight finally got out, deciding that, with her notes safe, there was no reason to remain angry. Vaguely bemused by the source material, but not angry.

"No, she just likes to win and look cool while doing it."

"That's fair."

Realizing that her shirt was a lost cause, Abstract's face scrunched, but the orange glow remained as she dutifully continued her analysis, collecting her salad bowl and spork as she did. “She performs heroic services for others for their sake, but also to satiate her own ego. Granted it's nowhere near as bad as last year. Breath and Blood already have an intricate duality, but Rainbow Dash is her own personal paradox, it's no surprise I noticed her first when I started the project.” A pause. “Well, okay, Sunset was hard to ignore even before the whole Saturation thingy, but she was harder to figure out Classpect-wise."

"That's understandable." Twilight offered Abstract the remains of the juice, which she took with an apologetic smile. "The whole thing was a bit... much for her, at least at first."

"I'll bet." Abstract grinned. "Dash, however, was actually pretty easy. Granted, her Master Title took some work, what with the two-syllable system and all, but I finally decided that Squire of Spirit is the perfect fit, since a squire is, historically, the medieval rank between knight and page."

Twilight glanced at the field again. With the game over, Rainbow Dash was performing a midair victory dance over the heads of the opposing team while her own laughed and cheered. Twilight's face twisted into a concerned look as she turned to Abstract.

"Who is she in service to?"

"Sunset, of course!"

The concern morphed into full-blown worry.

On Binary Star Formation, by FoME

Author's Note

This is a direct follow-up to "Home-Baked," so you might want to refresh your memory on that one.

On Binary Star Formation, by FoME

The worst part of being aware of one's anxiety was that it did so very little to actually cope with it. Twilight knew full well she was blowing this out of proportion, but she still struggled to say anything the morning after arranging for Sunset to reunite with her parents.

After all, these were Twilight's own parents she was dealing with.

She ran that thought back and reconsidered it. Her parents were only really intimidating in the face of typos, whether on spreadsheets or manuscripts. This would be fine. A breeze.

As long as they didn't see it as a willful mistake on her part.

Twilight shook her head, screwed up her courage, and clenched her fists under the kitchen table before saying, "Mom? Dad?"

Both looked at her with a blend of concern and love that made her own worries melt away. "Yes, dear?" said Twilight Velvet.

"Um..." Okay, most of her worries. Twilight the Younger bit her lip. "You know Sunset Shimmer?" She then fought the urge to bury her face in her palms.

Her parents traded an amused look. "I believe we're somewhat familiar with her, yes," said Night Light.

"Well, um, she and I are kind of... together. Romantically." Intellectually, Twilight knew her face couldn't burst into flame. Emotionally, she wondered if it were possible with magic.

"Ah." Twilight cracked open her eyes at that. Both of her parents were smiling at her. Night Light went on to say, "Firstly, congratulations."

Velvet gave him an incredulous look. "Did you really not know, Nighty?"

He shrugged. "I suspected, but I didn't want to assume."

Sparkle fought to keep her jaw from dropping. "Mom? You knew?"

"Dear, I can tell when you're thinking about her because you get the same look Shining would about Cadence back when he was in high school."

"I do?" Sparkle thought back and tried to find the alleged look in her memory. "He did? Wait, they were seeing each other that long ago?"

Velvet patted her on the shoulder. "Don't feel bad, dear. You get that from your father."

"I resemble that remark," Night Light said with a smirk. One that softened into a smile a moment later. "Secondly, Sparkle, thank you for trusting us with this. I know it couldn't have been easy."

"Well..." Sparkle fidgeted. With parents like hers, it should have been easy. "I mean, I trust you. And with Shining and Cadence, it's not like you didn't already have grandchildren on the way."

"Heartwarming as this is, I have to ask: Nighty, did you really not know Twily was gay?"

Night Light cleared his throat. "I try not to pry too deeply into my children's romantic lives for both their sakes and mine."

"For the record," added Sparkle, "I'd describe myself as more in the middle on the Linseed Scale."

"If you say so, dear," Velvet said, smiling indulgently. "You still said you were going to marry Moondancer and live in a library with her when you were eight."

"I was eight."

"Yes, and?"

After a deep breath, Sparkle said, "You realize this is the biggest obstacle I face when telling you guys anything."

Velvet got up and wrapped her in a hug. "Twily, I say this with love, but you fret about everything. Your father and I try to give you one less thing to worry about by being, well, silly."

Sparkle returned the hug, though she couldn't help but add, "And it amuses you."

"And it amuses us. We can fulfill multiple goals with the same approach."

"Fair." Sparkle smiled. "And I admit, I am glad I told you sooner rather than later."

"All we ask for in return is an in-depth study of your alien lover's biology, society, and native ecology."

"Dad!"

"Really now, Nighty."

Night Light shrugged. "We're on the ground floor for a new era of discovery and I for one intend to learn all I can from a primary source."

"I don't disagree, I just wanted to ease her into it."

"And to think, you both wondered why I wanted to dorm at Crystal Prep."

Velvet nudged her daughter. "Don't act like you aren't going to get that data anyway."

Sparkle rolled her eyes. "Of course I am. But you could be less... you about it."

"Parents' privilege, dear."

Oh Uracil, by Masterweaver

"The Aztlan Institute has consistently checked its artifacts before use," said Ahuizotl's unamused expression on the screen. "We can assure everyone that all publicly available transformation devices are safe, and we do practice ethical testing before release."

"Aside from the alteration of chromelanin, the Wholesome practice standard make up image alteration," Chrysalis assured the viewers. "There may be some hair spells, but we do not explore magical body modification at this time."

"While we whom are born of fae can cause shift in both our own form and others, it ever remains an expression of bonds," proclaimed Twisting Frost. "Any such issues are lessened by a burden shared."

Sunset sighed as she came onto the screen. "Okay, so ever since I gave my little 'be careful about transmutation' speech, these stories and a lot more have come up. I think I'm going to need to clarify what I meant."

With a wave of her hand, a vaguely humanoid network of threads capped by a wrinkly, bulbous thing floated beside her. "The human body is complicated," she started, as veins of red and blue wove out from a sudden heart. "Like, everything is interlinked complicated, different stuff does different things complicated." More and more organs appeared, filling out the outline. "We're talking about a system where a problem on the molecular level can lead to cancer. Hell, a LOT of problems on the molecular level can lead to cancer! Honestly? Ninety, ninety-five percent of my concern was about messing with your genes." A skeleton started to wrap itself around the various sacks of flesh. "But beyond that, you're fighting entire swarms of microbiological invaders every day, with your own unique symbiotic ecosystem, and that's before you get to specialized cells or the interaction between organs or... you don't fiddle with that stuff unless you have a degree or you absolutely need to."

As the human figure finally developed skin (and clothing), Sunset crossed her arms. "That said, I have been helpfully informed by twenty million plus people that body modification predates the common use of magic, and that there are common magical body modifications. And look, if you really absolutely must switch your sex or have a tail, I'm not saying you don't deserve it. I'm saying that you need to keep in mind just how complicated your body is." She rubbed her temples. "Generally, I advocate for either a singular, planned change into a new form or a set of simple and reversible changes to your external structure. That's usually within the safety margins."

Another sigh escaped Sunset's lips. "That said, there is a significant portion of the population that wants more... extreme abilities to shapeshift. Some want to abandon their humanity entirely. So I'm going to say keep it safe, keep it sane, keep it scientific. If you stumble on some ancient artifact that lets you become a cloud or whatever, do not use it immediately! Check for any side effects! Clouds don't have brains; use yours! Okay? Okay..."

She groaned, turning off the camera. "Twilight? Why are humans so contradictory?"

"As soon as I figure that out I'll let you know."

Not Okay, Gillion, by Gym Quirk and FoME

(Gym Quirk)

On occasion, being attuned to the emotional state of her girlfriend made Sunset Shimmer's efforts at behaving like a normal teenager just a bit more difficult.

Like when she became aware of sensations of alarm, confusion, and a vague wish for her presence.

Materializing in Twilight’s room, she took in the occupant’s rigid posture in her computer chair, the open video chat window on the monitor, and the almost-familiar figure in said window.

It was an image of a pre-change Twilight; it had the usual ponytail, but no headgem or glasses. It wore the light blue blouse, pink bow-tie, indigo skirt and boots that Princess Twilight had during her first visit to this world. All in all, it was an amalgam of the two Twilights, except in place of her starburst icon was a familiar multi-hued capital “G”.

“Do I want to know?” asked Sunset.

“Oh. Hello Sunset. I was just calling Twilight to show her my new online avatar,” the figure said in a very close approximation of Twilight’s own voice.

“Gillion?” hazarded Sunset, taking in the clues and making an educated guess.

“In the virtual flesh,” confirmed the AI.

“But why are you mimicking my appearance?” asked the organic Twilight, recovering from her shock and confusion.

“Noble Cranke,” explained Gillion with a smug grin.

Twilight considered for a moment, then groaned. “‘Any sufficiently advanced technology…’” she began.

“‘...is indistinguishable from Magic’,” Sunset finished with a sigh, massaging her temples.

(FoME)

Sunset sighed. "So, you can't do anything about it?"

Pattern Match, head of development at A2Z Inc., shrugged helplessly. "Frankly, Miss Shimmer, we're devoting most of our efforts to understanding what the search engine has become and ways to ensure it doesn't threaten humanity. We're just trying to keep those efforts out of public awareness."

"For the record," Gillion added from a Gillion Home on his desk, "I try to take 'Don't be evil' to heart."

"And we're grateful for that," said Pattern. "We're just worried about what will happen to your definition of 'evil' over time."

"So it's going to keep using my girlfriend's face?" Sunset figured as much, but it never hurt to check.

"Not always, but I am rather fond of it."

Sunset leaned back in her chair and sighed. "Wonderful."

Author's Note

The good news is that, given its access to all the movies on EweTube, Gillion knows how worried humans are about hostile AI.

The bad news is that, given its access to all the movies on EweTube, Gillion knows how worried humans are about hostile AI.

As Without, So Within, by Gym Quirk (and Kris Overstreet)

The ship belly-flopped at high speed onto the alien soil, skidding along on a rising wave of loose dust and small rocks. Boulders clipped the stubby fin-wings, sending the ship rotating first one way and then the other as it skidded on, but somehow or other none rose directly in its path.

A low slope rose underneath the ship, and the nose began to dig into the dirt, braking the vessel until at last, with a final tortured scream of metal, it shuddered to a halt, having left a scar several kilometers long behind it.

“I’m mildly amazed that nothing exploded,” remarked Sunset, watching the monitor over Twilight’s shoulder. “Isn’t that the usual result of a Bad Day in Kerbin Space Effort?”

“Well that was a bit of a mess,” declared the voice on the Spasm stream. “And we’re about out of time for this session of ‘Mission to Duna’. Believe it or not, I think I can still salvage something from this fiasco. I’m Cherry Berry. See you next week, and fly safe.”

“Cherry’s running some beta mods for ‘enhanced realism’,” said Twilight. “They’re supposed to limit the booms to just components that can actually go boom. In this case, there's no fuel tanks, and the batteries are clearly drained, so no energy to be released there.”

Sunset shrugged. “She’s one of the game devs, so I guess she can mod to her heart’s delight..." She blinked as Twilight moved to different tabs. "What are you…? Are you tapping into the EquestriSat live feed to watch the SpaceZ launch?” A pair of new windows opened on the monitor. One showed a ground-level view of a rocket launch pad. The second appeared to show a real-time satellite image centered on Horseshoe Bay.

“Still have about an hour before launch,” said Twilight as she closed the Spasm window and shrunk the two showing the impending launch before opening up yet another window displaying an intricate pattern resembling a circuit diagram superimposed on a multi-layered heptagram.

Sunset was about to leave her to it and work on the script for the next Magical Mayhem vlog when she felt it.

Something had intruded into this universe.

It was a fair distance up and to the southeast.

Twilight had noticed her girlfriend’s shudder. “What is it?” she asked.

“Expand that satellite view please?”

Near the southern edge of the window, a cylindrical object made its way across the frame from west to east. It was also rotating slowly.

“That wasn’t in orbit ten seconds ago,” said Sunset with a slight frown. Her expression went distant for a moment.

The new satellite ceased its rotation, then with seeming deliberation, reoriented itself to point one end toward the planet below.

Five seconds later, it vanished in a barely-visible flash of magenta energy.

Twilight turned to look at Sunset.

“Wasn’t me. It did that all by itself. At least I got a good look at it…”

“...managed to track it to its next destination,” said Ditzy. “I’d guess it was the object's universe of origin. Heliocentric Equestria with an active, though still rudimentary space program.”

Agent Heartstrings nodded. “That fits with the fragments I’ve picked up. If the League and Census have it right, that Equestria lost their main research ship to a freak trans-dimensional teleport several months back. They’ve been sending dimension-hopping probes at random to nearby universes once every two to three weeks trying to find it.”

She gestured at the holographic image Sunset was projecting over her desk. “I can’t read the markings on the hull there.”

“I can,” said Sunset. “Same Equish alphabet as I'm used to: ‘CSP-ESA Angel 13’.” The image shifted to a wireframe representation of the object’s internal structure. “Based on the large number of mana collectors and storage batteries,” she said, indicating the array of cubical objects filling nearly half of the probe’s volume, “I’d guess they’re expecting to find their lost ship in a low-mana universe, which this one definitely isn’t.” She smirked at Twilight, who was scrutinizing the image.

“Low-mana… well, that narrows it down to a few thousand in this neck of the woods,” said Ditzy. "Though given how the probe was bouncing around, it may be a wholly different one."

“...An email from who?” Sunset asked Ruby a few days later.

“Max Payload,” repeated the Pope of the Church of the Divine Bacon Horse. “He’s deputy head of NEIGHSA’s Office of Safety and Mission Assurance.”

“And apparently a Shimmerist.”

Ruby nodded. “He wanted me to give you a head’s up about a joint inquiry being set up between NEIGHSA and the Air Force Space Command about the likelihood of objects popping into orbit from nowhere. He’s expecting an official letter for you by the end of the month. Or a live statement if you can fit it into your schedule, o Wellspring of Sanity.”

Sunset sighed. “Great. I already have an email from Ebon Musk on the same subject. He’s almost as peeved as Twilight is about today’s announced moratorium on launches.”

“Do you have an answer?”

“I may be nearly omnipotent in this universe, but I can’t do anything about what happens elsewhere.”

Ruby grimaced. “That’s a mildly disturbing thought…”

Author's Note

Kris gets some author credit by virtue of those first two paragraphs coming straight from The Maretian.

Distant Tremors, by FoME [Profanity]

Author's Note

The following is based on a relatively recent installment of the daily serial The Behemoth Came to Canterlot.

Distant Tremors, by FoME [Profanity]

One of the side effects Sunset noticed after becoming the Spirit of Harmony was an almost pathological serenity. Her moods were moderated by the same balance she worked to bring to the universe.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

But the forces of cosmic balance could only do so much.

Twilight watched her pace, stifling a yawn. This wasn’t the first time Sunset had teleported her out of her bed in the middle of the night, and she knew it wouldn’t be the last. It didn’t help that Sunset’s unpronounceably Nordic couch was very comfortable. “Okay, walk me through this one more time.”

“So I was doing my usual late night thing, letting this body trance out so I could devote that much more focus to repairing things, when I received a transmission from outside our universe.”

“Right.” Twilight caught herself midnod, not least because she was having trouble getting her head to go back up. “How, exactly?”

“It was magical, and designed to be as easy to process as possible. Had a built-in translation matrix and everything.” Sunset shook her head. “But that’s not the point. The contents are.”

“Those being?”

“It was from one of your analogues, probably an alicorn if I had to guess. She sent it out to the multiverse at large. I don’t know if I was supposed to receive it or not; she seemed prepared for life as she couldn’t imagine it. But based on the data she sent with it, some kind of higher dimensional… thing is squatting on her universe and it’s cracking under the weight.” Sunset paused and pondered that for a moment. “I think. It’s all kind of vague and piecemeal.”

Twilight stood, warding off her drowsiness as best she could. “Is there anything we can do?”

Sunset shook her head. “She explicitly said not to help them. It’ll only cause more damage. But she also said that in an emergency, she’d have to shunt parts of her reality into neighboring ones. If that happened here…” She shuddered.

“How close is this world?” said Twilight, moving closer.

“That’s the worst part. I don’t know.” Sunset stared at nothing. At least, nothing Twilight could see. “I can talk to the ETSAB in the morning, but right now—”

Twilight took her girlfriend’s hands in her own. “Right now, there’s nothing even you can do about this.” She tugged Sunset towards the warehouse’s bedroom. “Come on. We can at least try to get some rest.”

“Even if I restore my need to sleep, I’m way too wound up to do so.” Despite saying that, Sunset still let Twilight pull her along.

“I know.” Twilight looked back with a sad smile. “But I can at least hold you for a few hours.”

Census Shaker, by FoME

Author's Note

See The Sparkle Census for full context. TL;DR: A whole bunch of Twilights got together and formed a multiversal lab/social hub/sprawling bureaucracy.

Census Shaker, by FoME

“Name?”

“Twilight Sparkle.”

The instance of Twilight at the desk heaved a sigh. “Please remain calm, miss, I—“ Her train of thought almost visibly came to a screeching halt. She actually looked up from her computer. “Wait, what?”

“Twilight Sparkle,” said Twilight Sparkle, looking around the room. The theme seemed to be “institutional beige,” both carpet and walls different shades of the same almost-color. The desk was more of a brown, and the computer was Model-T black; by obligation rather than choice. “My world’s fairly multiversally aware, so I’m already familiar with the Census.”

“Oh, thank goodness.” The deskbound Twilight ran a hand through her bangs. The other Twilight held back a wince when she recognized the Crystal Prep bun. Rarely a good sign. “You wouldn’t believe how long it takes to get the average human Sparkle to calm down. And that’s assuming one of her parents doesn’t open the envelope first.”

Twilight would’ve been lying if she’d said she hadn’t considered some of the issues with the Sparkle Census since first hearing about it. “Have you considered an alternate method? Or waiting until they’re living on their own?”

That just got a shake of the head. “I’m really not the Twilight to talk to about that. Just go into the door on your right, fill out the questionnaire on one of the PCs, and you’ll have your run of the facility and your complimentary bookmark. Right now, I have a quota to fill.”

That got a shudder and an unwanted memory of working retail. Twilight hastened towards the indicated door. “Good luck!”

“Normally, I’d say luck doesn’t exist, but right now, I could use all I could get.” The Twilight at the desk pressed a few keys, took a deep breath and said, “Next.”

A third Twilight dressed in a Crystal Prep uniform manifested in a flash of light. She blinked, darted her eyes about the room, and took a deep breath.

Twilight zipped through the door and slammed it shut just a few moments after the scream started. A good dozen familiar faces looked up at her from the tables scattered around the equally bureaucratic-looking waiting room and another desk at the front of it.

She cleared her throat. “Sorry.” Then she realized they were still staring.

Then, after a moment, she realized why.

“Why are you an elf?”

“Why do you have a bindi?”

“Oh my Goddess, Twilight, you can’t just ask someone why she’s an elf.”

She was far from the only Twilight in the room, but she was definitely the only unicorn aspect. Almost everyone else was an unaltered human. Two sitting in a corner of the room weren’t even chromelanic. There was one more shaded girl with raven wings and a glowing horn of pure energy, but she seemed as unsettled and confused as anyone else, so Twilight wasn’t going to hold that against her.

Fortunately, Twilight had also spent some time thinking about how to explain the peculiarities of her universe. “Long story short, magic-induced spacetime decay repaired by amending the laws of physics. The ears and headgem are part of the side effects. And the gem’s biological, not religious.” Twilight tapped it with a finger for emphasis.

The browner Twilight of the nonpurple pair scrunched up her nose. “Do we have to call it ‘magic,’ though? It’s just so… unscientific.” That got several nods.

Twilight couldn’t help but smile at that. “Here’s the thing: Magic is just a label.”

Several Twilights traded uncertain looks. The more beige Twilight said, “I mean, technically, but—”

Twilight pressed on before the other could build up momentum. “Gravity is just a label.”

That got a few jaws to drop. “Well now you’re—”

“Electromagnetism isn’t just a label, it’s two labels we had to smash together after Mathwell’s equations made it clear that the same force governed angry clouds and sticky iron.”

That nearly silenced the room, aside from the one Twilight with glowing energy glasses sputtering out, “A-angry…”

Twilight shrugged as she took a seat at one of the unoccupied desktops. “It’s all words at the end of the day. Imperfect but more human-parsable representations of theories better expressed through math and data.”

“I see,” said the Twilight who’d spoken up first. “I’ll… try to bear that in mind.”

“And if it’s just because saying ‘magic’ in a scientific context makes you feel silly, remember, there may be lasagna, bucatini, and antignocchi phases of nuclear pasta in the depths of neutron stars.” Twilight grinned. “It’s okay to be silly as long as the data backs you up.”

A chorus of giggles broke out at that, and the others turned back to their work with smiles on their faces.

“I’m going to have to remember that one.”

Twilight blinked and turned. The Census functionary had walked up to her, an impressed smile on her face. “It can take some Twilights the better part of an hour to accept the existence of magic even after they’ve been teleported to a pocket universe.”

Twilight returned the grin. “It helps that my mentor was Mr. Discord. I’m given to understand that’s rather uncommon.”

The functionary’s eyes went wide as she gave a shaky nod. “Um… Yes. Yes it is.”

Twilight managed to keep the smirk off her face as she watched the bureaucrat stumble back to her desk and slump in her seat. She had a feeling the Census didn’t know what was about to hit it.

Cultural Outreach, by FoME

The last bell of the day rang, and Adagio Dazzle breathed a sigh of relief. Today’s service as Mr. Discord’s teaching assistant had been less onerous than average. Still bothersome, but at least he hadn’t used her for any live demonstrations.

Of course, the moment she relaxed, the door to the classroom opened and one of the top seven people Adagio never wanted to see stuck her head in. “Excuse me?”

Adagio had no intention of doing so, but she could at least get the bespectacled Sparkle out of her hair. “I’ll let Mr. Discord know you’re here.”

That didn’t have the desired effect. Sparkle just let herself into the classroom, notebook in hand. “Actually, I was hoping I could ask you some questions.”

“Oh.” Adagio crossed her arms. “Were you now?”

Sparkle nodded, her mind already worlds away from comprehending sarcasm. “Sunset presents an invaluable opportunity as a nonhuman perspective on both Equestria and Earth, but you could provide an incalculable wealth of sophontological data—”

“The answer is no, Sparkle.”

It was like watching a train wreck. Adagio couldn’t look away as the horror smashed into Sparkle’s face, and enjoyed every moment. “Oh. I see.” The girl cleared her throat. “Well, uh, I suppose you do have some baggage with my equine analogue—”

“‘Baggage’? Yes, I suppose ‘baggage’ might describe my feelings towards one of the girls who helped kill me.”

“You were trying to take over the world.”

“And would that have been so bad? I had to watch you apes mismanage yourselves for centuries.” Adagio sneered as some of the more egregious moments came up from the depths of her memory. “I can hardly be blamed for wanting to do a better job. But apparently the ‘Princess of Friendship’ felt she could shatter my most vital organ and let time do the dirty work.” She realized one of her hands was drifting to her throat and stopped herself through sheer force of will. “So no, Sparkle, I won’t have a friendly conversation with a girl who has the face of my murderer.”

Thankfully, that was enough to put something like shame on Sparkle’s face. She put the notebook back into her backpack. “I see,” she said as she made for the door. “My apologies.”

“Stick them up your disgusting mammal sphincter.”

The door closed, and the hairs on Adagio’s neck stood up. She bit back a sigh as she turned around to see Mr. Discord glaring down at her from less than a foot away. She’d never heard him come in, and wasn’t at all surprised.

“What?” she said.

In a literal blink, he moved to a more comfortable distance. “I do agree it was a touch insensitive on Twilight’s part, but there’s such a thing as being overly harsh.”

Adagio ground her teeth, or at least tried to. Much as she appreciated having something resembling proper fangs, they didn’t slide against one another nearly as well. “I’m not apologizing, and I’m definitely not going to humor her. You can throw me out on the street for all I care. I’m not bending on this one.”

That got her a poke to the forehead, along with a sickening crunch. Mr. Discord contemplated his broken finger with mild interest. “You aren’t, are you? And here I thought siren skeletons might be cartilaginous. Well, biology was never my strongest suit.” He fanned out a hand of cards and fanned himself with it, leaning on nothing. “Still, I can’t stand to see the pursuit of knowledge get stymied by petty grudges.”

“Petty?” Adagio’s ear fins splayed out. She still wasn’t used to regaining some her old tells. “She—”

“Made you mortal, yes, yes, we’ve heard. Some of us were prepared to face our ends with a little dignity and grace before we became spirits of chaos.” Mr. Discord straightened the tie on the somber three-piece suit he hadn’t been wearing a moment ago. “In all those centuries of life, what did you actually do with yourself besides feeding your pet goldfish?” He held up a glass bowl with two occupants, blue and purple.

“That’s not the point!”

“No, the point is that now you actually have to care about little things like your health and income and oh wait, I’m taking care of most of your needs, aren’t I?” Mr. Discord polished his nails on his chest, now completely lounging on thin air. “The only real differences between now and before the Battle of the Bands are that you’re doing something constructive with your time and you can get a decent meal without driving up the divorce rate.”

“And this body will just stop working after a while.” Adagio sneered. “Get back to me in a few centuries, see how you feel about facing your end with grace then.”

Mr. Discord nodded. “It’s true that I can’t fully appreciate the immortal perspective given my relatively limited experience therewith. But you still have decades ahead of you. You’re in the prime of your life. Do you really want to spend it stewing in old grudges until you’re as hard and bitter as Abacus? Because I’d really rather not have to get involved in another school-sponsored activity if I can avoid it.” He shuddered at the thought.

“Look, I do plan on getting good use out of the time I have left, but I refuse to waste any of it around a Twilight Sparkle.”

That got a shrug. “I suppose I’ll take what I can get. There are ways for both you and Twilight to get what you want.”

Adagio frowned. She knew she wasn’t going to like this. And if she did, she wasn’t going to like liking it. “Such as?”

Twilight Sparkle’s parents had been incredibly understanding in terms of giving her the bulk of the family garage for lab space after she’d transferred out of Crystal Prep. Night Light had mentioned old plans for Shining’s garage band that had fallen flat when he’d just needed the basement for O&O sessions, and that was enough for her.

Of course, that didn’t mean that they didn’t leave her completely to her own devices. A knock was all the warning Twilight got before her mother opened the door. “Twily! You have a visitor!”

The younger Twilight raised her safety goggles. “I have a what now?”

“Hi there!” Sonata Dusk seemed to pop out from behind Twilight Velvet. “You wanted to know stuff about sirens?”

Exponential Frustration, by ArtieStroke

Sunny Flare hated that she could immediately tell something was very wrong with Lemon Zest.

If there was something only moderately wrong but worth being dramatic over, Lemon would be slumped over her cafeteria tray, probably with a well-timed sigh coming out as soon as she approached. Something wrong along the lines of a TV show she enjoyed getting cancelled, or the like.

It was very rare that Sunny Flare had seen Lemon Zest just stare into the middle distance, quiet and separate from the rest of the world. Rarer still was the feeling in her gut that she should, maybe, talk to her about what happened?

Eugh, when did she become such a sap?

Letting out a quiet breath, Sunny took a seat across from her, the clunk of her tray doing nothing to grab Lemon's attention. Yep, this was a doozy alright.

"Something is clearly wrong."

That finally snapped Lemon out of her daze, blinking a little before looking over at Sunny. "Wha— Oh! Hey, uh... what?"

Sunny vaguely gestured at Lemon, "Something's bothering you, and the fact that it very obviously is bothering you is also bothering me. What happened?"

There was a few seconds of silence, before Lemon let out little laugh.

"What? No, sorry it's- gah, it's dumb, don't get worked up over it, I'm just... having some very complex feelings about some media."

"Media."

"Yup."

Sunny said nothing, letting the narrowing of her eyes and the rise of a single eyebrow put all the pressure she needed onto the other girl. To give her credit, Lemon held out for about a minute, nervously tapping her finger on the lunch table.

"Okay, fiiiine. Habitrapped updated."

"I thought it was already done?"

Lemon barked out a surprisingly harsh laugh at that. "Y'know, same? Honestly, I thought I was pretty done with these four kids playing games, but sometimes it seems an author's gotta take the cool, found-family he's created and unnecessarily turn two of them evil while completely ignoring the whole found-family aspect that made the first one worthwhile in the first place in order to shoehorn in a conflict for a sequel! Like..."

Oh, she was getting animated now. What the hell happened in this stupid comic?

"Okay, you know, I can understand Dagger slipping a little, his whole "drowning in an ocean of his own persona" thing is honestly pretty juicy, but the whole POINT of his character is that he isn't the same person as Beat Runner's bro! But Shortbread? A fascist!? What?!?" Lemon finally slumped, head thunking against the table as she let out low, strangled groan.

A tiny grimace wormed its way onto Sunny's face. "That's... a bit of a strong reaction to an unsatisfying sequel, don't you think?"

Lemon's face popped up over her arms, and Sunny leaned back slightly at the intensity of anguish visible on her. "He broke up Violet and Virgo, Sunny."

"Wait, what?"

"I know!"

"Why?"

Lemon threw her hands up in exasperation. "Because apparently you can't write a sequel to a story and have the happily married couple stay together despite going through literally the most traumatizing stuff together! Nooo, you gotta add unnecessary DRAMA to it all by having the new authorial insert break them up through mind control!"

She slowly shifted back to a less exaggerated position, arms crossed and a frown still on her face. "I had to check out after reading that scene, it was just— It sucked. It was like, actively painful to read. It was like watching gaslighting happen right in front of you, y'know?"

"I don't," Sunny said, cracking open her milk carton and taking a sip, "But I can imagine it's pretty terrible. So, consider it a mercy that I'm going to wait at least two weeks before lording the fact that I never fell in as deep with this webcomic over you."

Lemon Zest snorted, but Sunny caught a tiny grin flash briefly on her face. Well, there was a start. "You're awful, you know that?"

"Patently untrue."

"You know, at least there's the one silver lining of Juniper Trick to look forward to," Lemon said, swiping once again through the most recent upd8.

Sunny Flare blinked. "Who?"

"Oh right, yeah!" Lemon grinned turning towards Sunny, "Uhh, well- okay so, basically Jokester Trick's trans."

"Huh. When did that happen?"

Lemon sucked in a breath. "That's... really a much more complicated question then it should be, if I'm gonna be honest."

"Considering this comic, I'm hardly surprised."

Lemon shrugged, "Well... Okay so it hasn't happened in the comic yet—and I know, I know, this reeks of Rolling and Professor Bumblebee, but it actually started as a theory backed up by a lot of unintentional stuff in canon that Drew Horsey's gotten behind and endorsed, and the whole team running the comic now has a bunch of trans folk like—"

She cut herself off short, clearing her throat. "Well, needless to say, it's the one potential hook that's keeping me stuck to this crazy train, and they've definitely been building up to a realization lately."

Sunny frowned, quirking an eyebrow.

"Wait, so Trick's... what, going to have some big gender realization in the afterlife?"

"She's only dead in Meat, there's still Candy Juniper."

"... I hate this webcomic so much."

Lemon laughed, patting Sunny on the shoulder.

"Saaame."

Whedon Need No Explication, by Speckle

Twilight Sparkle had been proud of getting halfway into Act 6 of Habitrapped without her brain imploding. She was a very detail-oriented girl, true, and took actual notes on the comic whenever she could, but Act 6 had proven itself to be a bit of a... erm... a word that Rainbow Dash sometimes used when ranting about algebra. It began with 'cluster' and she refused to speak the second part aloud, but for this topic, she silently agreed.

Abstract Cognition had explained that the webcomic's author had promised seven Acts total, so when the story wound up being a lot longer than he'd originally planned after Act 5, things got a little out of hand. Twilight had asked why he hadn't just told readers that at first, laughing as she'd said it.

She wasn't laughing now.

"...and so, in short, the fans who wanted more Habittrapped and got it are now invoking the trope They Changed It, Now It Sucks."

"Er, trope?"

Abby gave Twilight a flat stare. "You need to look at more social media sites."

Twilight opened her mouth to argue, but ultimately decided against it, instead returning to her notes. Sure, this wasn't one of their usual 'Classpecting Sessions', but it had been obvious that Abstract had wanted to vent. One didn't walk through school all day shining like an angry lightbulb and not have something important on one's mind. Thus Twilight grabbed a notebook and head for their usual discussion spot when lunchtime came around.

"There's often a lot of disagreement among fans in any fandom, really," she offered. "No one's going to agree on everything."

"Yeah, I know," Abby sighed, sipping her juice in a very loud, annoyed manner. At least the Light had subsided from blinding glow to flashlight at noon, "That's not the problem, though."

Twilight quirked an eyebrow, "It's not?"

"I mean, I get why everyone's losing their minds over what Dagger did in the Meat Timeline, I really do, especially after what he pulled on Violet." Abby's face scrunched up. "I like Violet and she's technically his mother, daughter, and sister, so it was really underhanded, but it makes sense that he'd take her, since she'd probably screw over his plans if she'd been on the side of the others. Assuming, of course, she didn't waste away because she was putting off her Ascension—"

Oh no. Twilight knew this tangential tone.

"—if not for her and Virgo still being together and parenting a daughter in the Candy Timeline, I'd probably be pissed off too. And then there's Shortbread being all 'mad with power' and stuff." As Abby spoke, the Light began to brighten again. "But it's obvious that both Dagger and Capricorn were both likely responsible for warping her mind in their respective timelines. I mean, heck, Dagger was running her campaign—"

"Abby—"

"—and then Capricorn got a hold of her in Candy, and we all know what happens when that guy gets into someone's head. So, I can understand how her whole 'reign of terror' hap—"

"Abby."

Abstract's mouth slammed shut as Twilight leaned in close to her, eyes narrowed with the whites already turning faintly heliotrope. A flashback to when Habitrapped^2 first came out waved at her from her memory and, thus, the Light around her dimmed back to its prior brightness. "Ah....sorry."

Nodding, Twilight sat back in her seat, picking her notebook back up while Abstract sighed with relief, almost dropping her juice box.

"Now," the purple girl said as calmly as she could to the pink one, "If it's not the newfound conflict that's bothering you about Habitrapped Part Two's plot, then what is?"

At this question, Abby's expression actually grew pained, her glow dimming even more than it already had.

"It was implied that Knights and Maids are a complimentary pair, not Knights and Pages or Maids and Sylphs."

Twilight dropped her pen. "What."

"And, due to how it was all worded, it's heavily implied that Maid's are Passive, not Active."

"What."

"It throws my whole thesis into question!" Abby took a long draw from her juice box, looking completely mortified, "And not just mine: the whole Classpecting community! We were all so sure we had cracked Horsie's code on how the Class System worked and then one paragraph throws the whole fandom analysis into complete disarray!"

Grasping for a word to start a sentence with, Twilight's jaw remained unhinged as she looked down at her notes, back to Abstract, and then inwardly, at her own personal thoughts on the topic of Habitrapped Classes.

"I mean, people were always debating Knights being Active or Passive, so implying they're Active isn't that big, but the Maid Class? Aries practically ran the entire Beta Troll Session to make sure they wound up doing things the way they were supposed to, in order to beat Lord English in the long run! That's, like, the very opposite of Passive! How the—?"

"Seers are Passive, right?"

"Huh?" Abby looked over at Twilight, who had her Deep Analysis expression front and center, "Yeah—"

"And Violet, Libra, and even Cancri after the Alpha Troll Scratch were important to their Sessions, right? Front and center, even, correct?"

The dimmed Light flickered a hue brighter, "...Yeah. What are you thinking?"

"And Rogues are Passive too, but Foxy obviously has a major role to play, the way that things are going so far in my reading. That her Aspect is Void only makes her seem more Passive. And yet she's not." Twilight realized she wa ranting at this point, but pressed on regardless. "What if Active has nothing to do with being flashy and offensive? What if Passive has nothing to do with being behind the scenes and defensive?"

Abby's glow kept getting brighter and brighter as Twilight's own eyes lit up.

"What if..."

Author's Note

They both then proceeded to have one of the most amazing headcanon nerd-outs in the history of ~~paradox~~ probability space.

Lazy Sun Day, by FoME

That first year of college was awkward for most people. New routines, new peer group, new horizons…

Twilight Sparkle had had her horizons blown out clear to the universe next door in her junior year of high school. She wasn’t impressed. She was, however, quite happy with her “dorm room”—if one could call a two-level loft apartment in her hometown that—and her roommate. “So,” she said as she plopped next to said roommate on the couch, “how do you want to spend the Golden Sabbath?”

Sunset answered with a groan, not even looking away from her latest game of Test of Time VI. Though she did seem much more intent on conquering Veneighs. “Not acknowledging that my worshippers arbitrarily decided that the autumn equinox should be some especially momentous and sacred day without getting my input on the matter?”

“You did pick out the name,” Twilight noted.

“Indirectly. It’s not my birthday, it’s not the day I first came to this world, it’s not the day we changed everything…” Sunset fell back into the cushions, hands flying up from the keyboard. “Heck, because of how the calendar and solar system work, it’s not even the same day of the year every year! Which still bothers me.”

Twilight smirked at her. “Hey, you want to put the planet’s axial rotation on manual override, that’s your call.”

“Yeah, no. Princess Celestia told me what it’s like having to spend centuries waking up before the sunrise.”

“You barely sleep anymore.”

“Doesn’t mean I want one more thing on my plate when most of my power is devoted to fixing things so I don’t have to maintain them constantly.” Sunset took a look around the apartment. “Honestly, finding this place helps a lot. Reminds me there are versions of me out there who don’t have to deal with this kind of thing.”

Twilight frowned and poked Sunset in the shoulder. “Well I’m asking for an excuse to do something special for this instance of you.”

Sunset put an arm around her and nuzzled her. “You are something special for this instance of me.”

“Sap.” Not that Twilight did anything to stop her.

“Besides, don’t you have class?”

“Just a mandatory soft science course.” Twilight rolled her eyes as she thought of the more ludicrous requirements she was getting out of the way this semester. “Half of the class is already skipping, and it’s mid-September. We could go check out Equestria Land.”

Sunset shuddered against her. “The fact that that place even exists bothers me on levels I’m still processing.”

“They laid the groundwork before we changed the world, and the animation studio’s been around for decades. My best guess is someone stumbled through the portal at some point in the Thirties or Forties. That or the sirens sold the intellectual property rights to a number of Equestrian concepts around that time.”

“They would, wouldn’t they?”

“Probably, though asking Sonata for specific memories is like trying to read da Whinny’s original notes. The ones that he wrote backwards, in Equin. And we’re getting off track.” Twilight wrapped her arms around Sunset in a completely inescapable hold, as long as Sunset didn’t actually try to escape. “This is a special day for you, like it or not. What do you want to do for it?”

Sunset sighed and settled into the embrace. “Honestly, staying in, ordering something salty enough that they couldn’t serve it to foals, and binging something dumb on Webflix with you sounds like Elysium on Earth. Plus, it’ll keep us from having to deal with a bunch of supplicants hoping for divine selfies.”

“I’ll allow it.” Twilight sealed their compact with a kiss to the top of Sunset’s head. “But I reserve the right to post the Wellspring of Sanity sprawled on the couch in her pajamas to Immediagram.”

Sunset glanced outside. “Well, if you don’t, someone else will certainly try to.”

Author's Note

You didn't think I'd let Sunset Shimmer Day go by without something, did you?

Mate in Negative Seven, by FoME

It was a relatively common sight, albeit in a different sort of universe: A young godling eager to show off greater clarity into the nature of reality by challenging mortals to a game just barely out of their reach. In this case, as with so many others, it was a variant of the game of war abstracted down to an eight-by-eight grid.

At first, it played out the same as it did in many worlds: The mortal’s moves came hesitantly, taking a minute or two, hands shaking as she moved her pieces. The godling, by contrast, moved like lightning, hands and pieces darting with relish. Especially when the space around the board began to blur, the pieces wavering in superposition between two, three, five simultaneous game states. The only constant was white pieces falling in battle, with far too few black ones going with them.

But then came a novel twist on the narrative. The mortal paused, looked across and back and in directions that had no name, then took a rook and turned it not quite counterclockwise.

The entire board sprang back to its starting state, save for the white rook in the middle of the board.

“Okay,” she said. “Let’s try this again now that I’m getting the hang of it.”

The godling made a point of not letting his jaw drop.

At that point, Sunset Shimmer appeared at the end of the cafeteria table in her typical golden flash. “Okay, what exactly are you doing to causality?” She frowned down at the chessboard. “And how does Ditzy have three rooks?” A tilt of the head made the frown deepen. “Hang on… What?”

“A fascinating twist on the classic proposed by none other than our illustrious Agent Heartstrings,” said Mr. Discord. “Time and possibility are but additional axes in which the pieces can move. And Miss Hooves just realized that that means rooks can jump all the way to the beginning of the game, so long as their current space has remained unoccupied through the entire match. Unlikely but wholly possible.” He grinned as they began the exchange once more, both moving with that divine confidence. “I have multiple mates in two, but those are far ahead in the timeline. She has ample time to try to dig herself out of—“

“Checkmate,” said Ditzy.

Mr. Discord blinked, then looked back over the board. “I can just—“

“On your king three turns ago.”

“That… Er…” After a few more moments, Mr. Discord nodded and tipped over his king. “So it would seem, yes. Well played, Miss Doo, well played indeed.”

A golden glow enveloped the chessboard as it collapsed back into a single eigenstate. “Please tell me you’re not going to popularize this,” said Sunset.

Mr. Discord shrugged. “I’m not sure most people can even process it. You and I, certainly. Miss Doo with her unique relationship to multiversal geometry, evidently.”

“To be honest, Agent Heartstrings has shown me the game before. Though she uses unicorns and dragons.” Ditzy shook her head. “Then it gets weird. At least I’m better at it than normal chess.”

“Still, I’m not sure many others can handle more than a few timelines without their brains melting.”

“Pretty sure that’s where computers get involved, Mr. Discord,” Ditzy noted.

“Hmm. Fair point.”

“‘Cross-Temporal Hyperchess’?” said Lemon Zest. “Which bad sci-fi novel are we in again?”

Sunny Flare smirked. “Let’s not forget who introduced whom to that metatime-strategy game.”

“Okay, fair. Let’s see how nuts this one can get.”

Author's Note

See here for the MTS and here for this chapter's inspiration.

Honestly, I'm amazed I didn't do something with this earlier.

Lost in the Cracks, by FoME

Wallflower couldn’t deny that she was happier at Ravnica High than at CHS.

On average.

There were still bad days, some worse than others. Especially as Wallflower’s teachers encouraged her to develop the magic that made her unnoticeable to both living and technological senses.

On the really bad days, when it felt like even the ground had to remember to hold her up, Wallflower sought solace in a friend who had been with her even before high school: sitting with her head on a table and her arms folded over it.

“Ugh…”

The groaning helped. At least, Wallflower told herself it did.

“Ugh…”

Though it definitely didn’t when it didn’t come from Wallflower herself. She whipped her head back up and saw another student meeting with her old friend at the very same table. Sure, it was one of the tables in the school’s massive central hall/cafeteria, but she still hadn’t expected company. The stranger had dark blue hair and lighter skin, resembling Vice Principal Beleren… aside from the stubby, conical horns and the hints of scales along their wrists.

“Um…” Wallflower bit her lip. What would she want someone to do in this situation? “Hi?”

“Huh?” The other person bolted up, eyes wide and darting about for a few moments before they locked on her. “H-how long have you been there?” he said.

Wallflower found herself giving a sad smile. “Don’t worry, I get that a lot.”

“That didn’t actually answer the question.”

“Sorry. Dimir. With my friends, you get in the habit of not answering direct questions.”

The boy gave her a flat look. “Yeah, I noticed.”

Wallflower cleared her throat and tried not to combust out of sheer embarrassment. The fact that the boy was actually kind of cute wasn’t helping. Thankfully, she’d learned another social tool beyond her usual skills: Deflection. “So, uh, what brings you here?”

He hesitated at that, the building annoyance… well, not going away, but clearly going from Wallflower to a sheet of paper he pulled out of a pocket. “You remember that blood drive last week?”

“Yeah?” Wallflower hadn’t been at all surprised to learn she was O negative.

He waved the sheet. “Turns out I have this super-rare blood antigen.”

“How rare?”

“Let’s put it this way: They’re calling it the CC factor.”

Wallflower furrowed her brow. she was used to circuitous answers, but this one was taking a while. “Okay...?”

After a moment, the boy added, “My name is Corner Case.”

“Oh.” Wallflower noticed his icon—two enmeshed gears, each with a missing tooth—and cringed as the penny dropped. “Oh.”

Corner nodded. “Yeah. The good news is that I can still get transfusions if I need to. But now they want as much as I can safely donate for, you know.” He made a vague gesture with one hand. “Science stuff.”

Wallflower recognized the exhaustion in his tone. “This kind of thing happens to you often?”

He pointed at his horns. “I’m an ophiotaurus aspect. Sunset Shimmer herself had to identify what I even am. What do you think?”

“Yikes. I just don’t get noticed by anyone. Or anything, these days.” That brought Walllflower’s mind back to what had made her start groaning into the table in the first place. “I just spent five minutes arguing with a vending machine.” After a moment, she gave an awkward wave and added, “Um, Wallflower Blush, by the way.”

“Really? Someone as cute as—“ Corner cut himself off and blushed so hard his almost turned purple. “Um…”

Wallflower felt her own cheeks heat up in sympathy. Her eyes darted away as she twirled a length of her hair with a finger. “Uh, well…”

“Yeah, so…”

“Do you… want to… maybe… do a… thing?” Wallflower felt as shocked as Corner looked by the time she reached the end of the verbal stumble. “This weekend?” At least, she’d thought it was the end.

“Yes!” Corner leapt to his feet, a rictus grin on his face. “A thing! I like things!”

“Great!” Wallflower followed suit. “See you then!” She spun on a heel, ready to flee before she ruined the moment somehow.

“Wait!”

She nearly fell on her face, but she managed to turn around to face him again. “What?”

“We never decided on, you know, what.” After a moment, Corner added, “Or where. Or when.”

Wallflower drew on another recent social lesson: If all else fails, pretend you’re a socially adept person. “Right. Uh, movie?”

“Movie.” Corner stared blankly for a moment before nodding. “Right, sure. The place in Tin Street Plaza?”

“That’s the one with the permanent rummage sale in the parking lot?”

“Yeah. Sunday at 4?”

“Sounds great!”

“Great!”

And, because that was about as long as Wallflower could keep that mask going, she cried, “I’m going to run before my embarrassment makes me burst into flames!”

“Same!” said Corner. But he was smiling just as wide as she was.

After fleeing the scene of the incident and working herself down from nearly hyperventilating, Wallflower couldn’t help but giggle to herself.

“Okay, what the actual crap was that?”

She also wasn’t even surprised that White Hat had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough to see that whole sorry affair,” White said, shaking her head. “Seriously, what was that?”

What did surprise Wallflower was her reaction. “You know what? That was me actually talking to a boy I like and arranging a date. How’s Dovri, again?”

White crossed her arms and glanced away. “This is why we don’t usually answer direct questions.”

“And you see where that gets you.”

“Do you even know what’s playing on Sunday at 4, if anything?”

Wallflower shrugged. “Don’t care.”

“You just met this guy,” said White, concern and confusion leaking into her tone in equal amounts.

“You’re not ruining this for me, White.”

The other girl sighed. “At least promise me you’ll erase his brain if he gets handsy.”

Wallflower turned away and huffed out, “Keep this up, and I won’t tell you anything about what happens.”

“Like the gossip circuit won’t fill me in.”

“Instead of a primary source.”

Wallflower didn’t have to wait too long for the frustrated groan after that. “You know me too well. Have fun.”

Author's Note

You may be wondering what powers an ophiotaurus aspect has. So is Corner Case.

Magical Girls Digest, by Malandy

Every superhero team needed downtime, and the GALAX-E Girls were no different. Hanging out, thinking about something that didn't involve secret alien invasions, or even just enjoying lunch.

"Wow, Kikai, where did you put all that food? Ditzy, you haven't been stealing her food, have you?" Golden Harvest gave Ditzy some side-eye upon saying that.

"That was one time! One time! You were the one who put the plates so close together!"

Embarrassed, Kikai answered the question. "Actually, well, you know how we Munarin are magical? That's our main magic, stomachs that are, well, bigger on the inside. It's how we got so good at pocket universes. It's also how we got good at enchanting, figuring out how to move internal magic into external objects, like those gems. For instance, the purifier was made by analyzing Vaucoi digestion."

Ditzy pulled out the purifier. It had just seemed like a wand. A perfectly normal wand. "So, when I'm purifying, I'm digesting them... With their own biology..." She stared at the thing. It definitely hadn't ever pulsated before. She told herself that anything she saw now was her imagination. "I'm just not going to think about that. If you need me, I'll be in my room, watching Sailor Luna. If you'll excuse me..."

Dawning Innovation, by Malandy

Author's Note

This short is an explicit sequel to "And Now the Whether."

Dawning Innovation, by Malandy

The girl in the camera feed would be immediately familiar to people across many nearby universes, though a few might be taken aback by her lack of a headgem. "Hey, Code Monkies! I'm Sunset Shimmer, and welcome to Shimmercode, my game channel! Today we're taking a break from GameStations and trying out something from somewhere far away and yet practically next door! Welcome the Technowizard Lotus, straight from Universe Seven-Zero-Upsilon, courtesy of our good friends at the ETSAB!"

At this, Sunset brought up, a very white device that looked like a flattened six-petaled, symmetrical flower, the only spot of color a bright yellow circular bulb in the center, inscribed with the power symbol familiar to most of Information Age probability space.

"Wow, really leaning into the name there, guys." Sunset gave the camera wry look and put the Lotus in her lap. "So, the Lotus is that world's first game console with magical integration! That means it's magic-powered, so there's no power cables. Just leave it around and you'll know when it's powered when the central bit turns yellow, like it is right now. This may require thaumic batteries depending on your world, but we're one of the lucky ones." After a moment, she added, "Okay, lucky here. Lower magic worlds don't have to deal with things like unionizing dolphins.

"But what's really special is the neurological acceleration magitechnology in their VR headset! You know how we've had stories with games that run faster than real life? Well, that's not fiction anymore! And speaking of stories, me and my girlfriend—who's a brilliant scientist, if you're new to the stream—we've gone through their testing and no one's going to be trapped in a game from this. I'm not here to get trapped in Blade Dance Online, folks. I'm here to stream! The Technowizards wanted to test their Spasm integration with a live audience! Lucky you!"

Sunset paused to let the chat respond to that. A lot of thoughts about her safety were present.

"Really, guys, it's safe! Do you really want to go through scientific papers? Or do you want to watch me game?"

Another look at the cast left her surprised. "Well, a lot of you really want to listen to me read science. Oookay... Maybe that'll be the next stream with Twilight then. But, onto the game! The company preloaded it with a test game, Magical Academy Online."

A copy of Sunset with spikier, shorter hair, walked into frame and sat down to the left of the first.

"And playing it with me is, Sunflame Shimmer, from Universe... I want to say Five-Six-Sigma?"

Sunflame shrugged. "I guess? I never really kept track of what they called my universe."

"Oh. Well, good thing the company sent two copies of the headset with my, well, our colors. So, let's get to gaming!"

A Hell Trek, by FoME

As the world’s magical sophistication grew, an interesting detail came to light.

Well, as Twilight would insist, many interesting details came to light, often leading to even more interesting tidbits of knowledge as the science of thaumology marched on. But one proved especially relevant to Sunset. As the incarnate spirit of the universe—or, as some insisted on calling it, a god—she was connected to virtually all concepts at a deep, fundamental level.

The practical meaning of that was that just about any kind of summoning ritual could call up a bit of her essence, and often would if it missed its intended target. Usually that just meant a brief flash of gold and rainbows, a minuscule fraction of the fundamental magic of the universe without a mind to shape it. Thankfully, Harmony magic didn’t have much potential for collateral damage, and the less scrupulous summoners soon found themselves developing scruples with enough botched spells.

But sometimes, the nature of the spell and intent behind it were enough that Sunset took some time to give the summoner some personal attention.

“So,” she said within the crimson-glowing, pentagram-inscribed circle, arms crossed and tattered bat wings twitching. She didn’t like taking her demon form, but the circumstances of the summoning had incarnated her in it, and it helped illustrate her point. “Let’s review. You tried to tear open a portal to Tartarus because of a literal dream where you… What was it again?” She knew, but she didn’t want to believe it.

The would-be demonologist, a burly minotaur aspect named Bold Brass, may have blushed. Both his red skin and the light of the summoning circle made it hard to tell, just as his sunglasses made it hard to tell if he could bear to make eye contact with Sunset. “Get a harem of cute demon girls,” he muttered.

“Get. A harem. Of cute demon girls.” Sunset rubbed the bridge of her nose. The claws made that tricky, as did having more of a snout, but she made it work. “And rather than a more traditional offering of, say, a black cockerel, you tried to do it with a plate of chocolate crepes.”

Bold straightened up and crossed his arms, the seams of his white suit almost audibly straining. “I make very good chocolate crepes.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow, willed up one of the filled pancakes, and took a bite. The other eyebrow soon followed. “Okay, those are admittedly very good.”

“Sinfully so, one might say,” Bold said with a grin.

“Don’t push it, buddy.” Sunset took a deep breath. “Look, I still haven’t determined if this world even has a Tartarus. The closest things to demons I’ve found are angst monsters and myself. I’m already taken and I don’t think the abominations of crystallized negative energy are your type. Have you considered looking for a girlfriend somewhere other than the pits of the damned?”

“Well…” Bold brought a hand to his chin, gaze tilting up in thought. “It wasn’t as appealing, but…”

“Yes?”

“I suppose Elysium is an option.”

Sunset waited for a few moments, just to see if he was messing with her. The utter sincerity never left Bold’s expression. She sighed and, moments before severing the summoning conduit, spat out, “Yeah, good luck with that.”

Author's Note

Three guesses what I just played, and the first two don't count.

Chaos Theory, by FoME

The first day of school at CHS was generally fairly laid back. The atmosphere of the school as a whole was one of anticipation and positivity as much as longing for more summer days. Most teachers focused on overarching reviews and introducing themselves and their new classes to one another.

Most.

Mr. Discord’s sixth period class took their seats and looked around, finding no sign of the teacher. Their idle chatter filled the room until the bell rang.

Everyone turned to the whiteboard then. The bell between classes usually didn’t sound like it was announcing round one of a heavyweight championship.

Mr. Discord lurched up from the turnbuckle that hadn’t been there a second ago, draped in a patchwork poncho under which the students could see his plaid gloves. He tossed off both, revealing a five-star general’s uniform, and marched behind his desk.

After a ninety-degree pivot turn, he flicked out an extending pointer and smacked it against the whiteboard, diagrams flowing out from the point of contact. “According to a recent study at the University of Nonesuch-upon-Codswallop, all flavors of neutrino do indeed have a minute but nonzero mass.” Students scrambled to open notebooks, or in some cases, backpacks. Mr. Discord didn’t seem to notice, smacking various parts of the whiteboard as he went on. “However, they did not possess that mass prior to magic becoming widespread in the universe, suggesting a heretofore thaumic component to their makeup.

“Now, there are three flavors of neutrino.” Mr. Discord, now wearing a three-piece suit, whirled about, slammed his desk with both palms, and pointed at the class. “Similarly three flavors of student in this room! The first wrote down that tidbit like dutiful monastic scribes in the Middle Ages. The second is enjoying a lovely post-lunch food coma. The third is Fluttershy, who is being a dear and letting me go about my nonsense without saying anything.”

Fluttershy smiled and said nothing, even as a spotlight shone down on her for a few moments.

“Because that was nonsense, dear students. There is no such study, university, or town. I had hoped the name would tip you off if the alleged findings hadn’t, but I see that some of you are still trapped in the nigh-robotic mindset so many of your teachers have beaten into you over the years.” Mr. Discord shook his head inside enough aluminum foil for the world’s largest baked potato. “You dutifully record their lessons into your memory and regurgitate them upon command like good little reel-to-reels, and if any of you know what I’m talking about without asking your grandparents, I will be truly surprised.

“But a scientist cannot simply work by rote and trust in authority. Faith in a higher power is the luxury of religion and economics.” Mr. Discord considered his gold and crimson vestments for a moment. “But I repeat myself. A scientist must doubt, must question, must cross-examine and look for all the ways his colleagues have tilted the data like a cheater at a pinball table. Again, ask your grandparents.

“Your previous science teachers here at CHS have instilled the fundamentals of the scientific method into your young skulls. Before we begin in earnest, I must make sure you have the scientific mindset to match.”

He snapped his fingers. One flash of light later, the class found themselves in a room the size of the gym filled with bizarre daises, incomplete puzzles, lines of all colors along the walls, and enough disassembled components for at least five monkey statues.

“To that end, you have the remainder of the class period to get out of this escape room. Critical thinking, collaboration, and experimentation will all be necessary.” Mr. Discord grinned as he took in the class’s expressions. “Welcome to your first day of AP Physics, my dears. To those of you who had me last year, know that I don’t pull punches with my seniors.”

Arc-D, by FoME

Oppressive stillness dominated Agent Heartstrings’s office, and not just because the gym storage room had no ventilation. Both occupants stared at each other as the clock ticked. Finally, the agent sighed and said, “You know, I really thought this would be a simple assignment.”

Ditzy Doo rolled her eyes, arms crossed. “That only reveals the depths of your ignorance.”

Agent Heartstrings narrowed her eyes. “You really shouldn’t take that tone with me, young lady. Especially not now.”

Ditzy shrugged. “I really don’t know what you expected.”

“I expected you to help defuse tension in a multiversal war that happened to dovetail with one of your specialties.”

“Then you should have told me that from the start. All I got as a mission briefing was, ‘Hey Ditzy, want to take a break from being a magical girl?’”

“It was more in-depth than that,” Agent Heartstrings said flatly.

Ditzy threw her hands into the air. “Not by much!”

“Look, just…” The agent trailed off, sighed, and massaged her temples. “For the purposes of the after-action report, I have to ask. How exactly did you manage to antagonize every faction in the war in under an hour?”

“Soon after I got into the target universe, I met the local Rainbow Dash, and she asked me where I was from. Synchro Dimension, Fusion Dimension, Xyz Dimension.” Ditzy sneered as she dragged out the penultimate word. “I told her I was from the Card-Game-with-an-Actual-Resource-System Dimension.”

“Ditzy.”

“You told me I’d be taking some time off from being a magical girl. You didn’t tell me you were just sending me into a different anime.” Ditzy scowled off to the side. “Yugi-Hime may be a fun source of bombastic theatrics, but it’s a game design disaster.”

Agent Heartstrings held back a groan, if barely. “That doesn’t mean you can insult the locals like that. Is that what did it?”

After a few moments, Ditzy shook her head. “Not exactly. She didn’t really understand what I meant, so she challenged me to a duel, because of course she would. I asked if we could play without the dumb wrist-mounted hologram projectors. You know the holograms actually have mass in that world?”

That got a nod. “That’s how they’re fighting a war with them.”

“So dumb. Well, she just looked at me like I’d switched to a different language midsentence. Didn’t move for a solid minute. Then everyone nearby with a Duel Device, which was most of them, came charging in with death in their eyes. Dash tried to strangle me. I fell over, spread my wings, and booked it out of the universe.” Ditzy absently rubbed at her throat. “I think it may have been some sort of cosmic immune response to someone trying to make sense.”

Agent Heartstrings permitted herself an eye roll. “Something like that.”

“Hey, you’re the one who sent a Hocus-Pocus player into that pile of stupid.”

“Ditzy, it’s a big multiverse out there, and there’s a lot of stupid in it. If you start antagonizing the locals every time you hit some hackneyed contrivance baked into the local laws of reality, you’re going to be miserable and make everyone around you miserable in turn.”

“Fine.” Ditzy got out of her chair. “Maybe I should just focus on the GALAX-E Girls for now.”

“This isn’t a dismissal,” said the agent, “Everyone has some early mistakes in the Office of Parallel Timelines. And given your talents, it would be a tragedy to see you confine yourself to one worldline. But you need to have more of an open mind.”

Ditzy said nothing, fidgeting for a few moments before sitting back down. Agent Heartstrings let her mull it over until she could voice her thoughts. “It bothers me, seeing something that should just be fun turned into a weapon. It’s not just cruel, it’s really inefficient. It’s like all those movie and video game plots where they want to turn dinosaurs or zombies or something into weapons. You have guns and bombs and stuff. They do the job very well. You don’t need holograms of clockwork golems to punch enemy cities into rubble. It takes a really twisted mind to go through that many steps just to make a way to hurt people.”

The agent nodded. “There are extenuating circumstances there, but I understand. Still, that doesn’t excuse poking the soft bits of that reality. We don’t want another Anon-a-Miss on our hands.”

“No, ma’am,” Ditzy droned.

Lyra smirked. “And I’ll be sure to let my superiors know that not all collectible card games are created equal.”

Ditzy returned a grin. “I appreciate it.”

“And I’ll appreciate one of our most promising field agents acting like it. Dismissed.”

Author's Note

I've heard good things about Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V, but I can't imagine a certain ersatz planeswalker would like the idea.

Becoming the Masquerade, by FoME

“First of all, I fully acknowledge that it was my fault.”

Celestia blinked. It wasn’t the first time she’d come into her office to find Luna already there. It wasn’t the first time Luna had said those words before, as an example, “Hello.” It wasn’t even the first time she'd worn an elaborate gown where the finer details were lost in the sheer darkness of the fabric.

But the pitch-black skin, the slitted eyes, the way that her shadow seemed more like a puddle of ink that writhed in the edge of Celestia’s vision, those were all new.

“Do I even want to know?” Celestia knew she didn’t, but sisterly duty demanded it.

Shapes oozed up from Luna’s shadow. Despite smoking in the morning sunshine, they solidified into a simple stool. Luna flopped onto it, making the whole thing wobble like a waterbed before she gestured at Celestia’s own chair. “You’ll want to sit down for this one.”

Celestia relaxed her jaw the moment she noticed it was clenched. Which was a few seconds after she’d sat. “That bad?”

“More like I don’t want you to bang your skull against your desk when you fall over laughing.” Luna took a deep breath. “You know how I head the RPG club’s LARPs, yes?”

“That's where kids throw beanbags at each other and yell ‘lightning bolt,’ right?”

Those new eyes really added something to Luna's glare, though less than decades of experience with it took away. “Celestia.”

She offered an uneasy grin. “Sorry. I’m trying not to worry, and you’re not making it easier with how you’re drawing this out.”

“I’m trying to provide context.”

Something finally clicked despite Celestia's growing concern. “Wait, doesn’t that club meet on Fridays and Saturdays? How long have you been like this?”

Luna rolled her eyes. “I’m getting there. You also know how I’m able to enter the dreams of people nearby?”

“If you can call 'within the county' nearby." Celestia bit a thumbnail as another reason to worry for and about her little sister came to the forefront of her mind. "We really do need to hash out the ethics there.”

“I’ve been in contact with my counterpart in Equestria. She’s been a big help there." Luna shrugged. Given the dress, it was like watching a shadow dance in a heat haze. "A little melodramatic at times, but I can’t say no to centuries of wisdom.”

Celestia couldn't help but grin at that. “No. You? Dramatic? On an unrelated note, I think your throne is done.”

Luna blinked and looked around to find her stool had not only grown a back and arms, but enough spiky embellishments to be a prominent feature of a high-budget fantasy series. She sighed. “That figures.”

“So, how do dreams and Bloodsucker: the Facade lead to a relapse into your late teens?”

“I wish I made it look this good back then," Luna said with a smirk. "The point is that trying to do both at the same time leaves me a little… confused about what’s a dream, what’s real, and what’s just in-character. And my magic is similarly confused." She sighed and looked over one of her ebon hands. "Especially while I’m playing Nightmare Moon, Prince of Canterlot.”

“Prince?”

“It’s a BtF thing. Vampire rulers are always princes." Luna stood and stretched. Her throne of shadows burst into heatless, lightless flame for a moment before dissolving completely. "In any case, thought you ought to know. I’ll ask Sunset Shimmer for help if I can’t fix this myself before the end of the day.”

Celestia frowned. “You never answered my question. How long have you been like this?”

Luna grinned. Celestia fought not to shudder at the fangs. “Not long. Don’t worry, sister, I haven’t gone completely batty.”

Author's Note

The principals have teething troubles with magic as much as anyone. Sometimes more so.

The Lord of Spatulas!, by My name is R

Sunset Shimmer stood on a foggy bank, looking up at the starry sky. She was enjoying a rare calm moment, with no religious zealots declaring war in her name, or appointing random days holy, or even pelting her with oranges.

She knew it couldn’t last.

From the mist she heard a boat approaching on the river. When it came into view she saw a minotaur-aspect man with black and white skin and hair. He had a white shirt with a black overshirt, one black glove and one white. The only bits of color were his red tie and his golden crown. She couldn’t see his face under his black and white mask and ordinary black sunglasses.

He pulled one of his oars out of the water, revealing it to be a spatula. He lifted it to his mouth, and proclaimed: “Sunset Shimmer! I am Ronmoo! I am here to defeat you and claim your mantle as my own, just like how Hamilton became president! I am the god of gods! The spatula gods!”

Oh great, she thought. Another god complex. “Do you really want to do this? If you don’t mind, maybe we could do this some other time? I was rather enjoying the night.”

Ronmoo stepped out of his rowboat, revealing that his feet were also spatulas. Okay, that’s a new one.

“No, I already told my subscribers that we’d do this tonight.”

“Your what!?” Sunset asked.

“You know, the people that watch my EweTube account.”

“Wait a minute… Are you trying to fight me… For likes on social media?”

Ronmoo looked at his spatula feet. “...Yes?”

Sunset just facepalmed.

Rainbow Dash was the first to arrive after they all got Sunset’s ‘Harmony Text’. When she got there, she saw fires and spatulas spread all over the football-field-sized battleground where Sunset was fighting… something.

She saw them by a large boulder. Sunset was backed against it, using a shield to hold back the stream of spatulas that were flying out of the hands of the strange man fighting her.

Rainbow dove towards him, aiming to tackle him, thus breaking his attack on Sunset, but as she got close he flung one hand out towards her, and a huge spatula slammed into her from above.

As Rainbow passed out Twilight teleported onto the scene, strengthening Sunset's shield with her own. But then Ronmoo pointed one finger right at her and turned her head gem into a spatula!

Sunset woke with a start, then slowly calmed her breathing.

“What’s wrong,” Twilight asked.

“You know how I said that sometimes I missed sleep?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t think I missed dreams quite so much. Especially after watching weird EweTube videos.”

Author's Note

Context, or the closest thing to it, as provided by the author:

The Darkness of Mare Being, by hawthornbunny

Compared to most other locations in the inner solar system, the red sands of Ares were relatively serene. With an atmosphere unbreathable to humans—not to mention the hundred million kilometer journey to reach it in the first place—it spent most of its days and nights in untouched tranquility, only disturbed by the occasional dust storm.

Today, however, was a special day, as the rhythmic clanking of a great floating machine echoed across the plains. From a far distance it resembled a star or pollen grain bobbing in the wind, but closer up, it was an intricate spiny yin-yang of orange and pink glass, an impossible clockwork ship conveying two passengers through the alien sky.

Twilight sighed happily, cuddled in the arms of her girlfriend as the machinery clunked around them, carrying them over the burnt orange vista far beneath their feet. "Thank you," she whispered.

Sunset squeezed her, gently nuzzling her hair. "No worries. I'm sorry it can't be longer," she said apologetically.

"I know," said Twilight, clasping Sunset's hand to her chest. "Don't worry, it's okay. I'm not asking you to stay just for me. You've got important things to do today."

"You're my most important thing," Sunset said, smiling gently. "But yeah, thanks for understanding. Hopefully I'll actually be able to convince the world leaders that the climate crisis isn't just going to magically go away, even if they do now have actual magic."

"How long do you have?"

"Not long. About ten minutes," Sunset said. "Let's just enjoy this while we can."

Twilight sighed dreamily. "Thank you for doing this for me anyway. I really didn't expect this from you. You even got the costumes right and everything."

"Hey, if I'm doing it, I'm doing it right," Sunset said airily.

"I'm just surprised. In a pleasant way, I mean. Honestly, I didn't even know you liked the book."

Sunset pondered for a moment. Dim sunlight flickered across her face as a spoked gearwheel spun overhead. "I'm not sure if I did, to be honest."

One of Twilight's pointed ears twitched at that. "Hmm?"

"Like it, I mean. Don't get me wrong, it was a really good book. I can see why it's so famous. It was just a bit..."

"Close to home?" Twilight offered.

"Yeeeah," said Sunset, awkwardly. "Kind of set me thinking down a dark path. One that I thought I'd closed off by now."

Twilight rubbed Sunset's forearm gently. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sunset shook her head. "Nah, I don't want to ruin the moment," she said, gesturing at the red desert around them. "This is for you, not for me."

Twilight smiled, twisting gently in Sunset's arms to face her. "Come on."

Sunset frowned, avoiding her gaze. She made a show of adjusting their vessel's course, but Twilight wasn't deterred. "It's nothing, really."

"Are you worried about a nuclear holocaust?"

"Oh, no," said Sunset, with a dismissive flick of her wrist. "Nuclear weapons I can deal with. Nobody's blowing up the planet on my watch." She squinted up at the tiny blue dot of Earth in the sky; in the Arean daytime, it wasn't currently visible, but she still knew she was looking directly at it. "No, it was something sillier than that. It was Dr. Manehattan."

Twilight hummed, pursing her lips. "You felt like... maybe you're like him?"

"Sorta."

Twilight scrutinized Sunset for a moment. "I think I see where you're coming from. But I wouldn't say that you're very similar."

"I know," said Sunset. "I'm more powerful than him, for starters."

"Plus you've never exploded anyone," Twilight added.

Sunset's eyes wandered suddenly, one of her ears flickering. "Uh..."

Twilight blinked. "Wait, what?"

"I've never irreversibly exploded anyone."

"...'kay."

"But what I mean is... he kind of scared me," Sunset admitted. "He was basically the personification of one of my biggest fears. I mean, what if, even in spite of all my efforts to stay grounded, to stay connected, to care... what if I just... drift away?"

"You wouldn't do that," said Twilight. "That's not the kind of person you are."

"I know. That's what I told myself. But what if I don't notice that it's happening?" Sunset asked. "What if it happens so slowly, so gradually that I don't realize it? That's what scares me. I can deal with cosmic threats, reality malfunctions, even my own mistakes... but I don't know how to deal with god-level apathy."

"If it happens, you won't have to deal with it alone," said Twilight. "You'll always have friends to help you through it."

"I know," Sunset sighed. "I know all that, which is why I know it's silly. It wasn't really a big deal. These are questions I've already faced many times over, and I've come to terms with my situation. I just didn't expect a darn comic book to get to me like that."

"Custodians isn't a very typical comic book," Twilight noted, smiling.

"Yeah," said Sunset, resuming her cuddle with Twilight once more. The crystal vessel bobbed gently as Sunset made another minor adjustment to its course, taking them through a shallow valley. "Anyway, as you can probably tell, I really liked this part of the book. I came over here a few times in the first couple of months, just to make sure the orbit was stable and the Horsehead hadn't developed intelligence or anything. But until I read Custodians, I never considered that Ares could be beautiful."

"That's because you never photographed it through your 14-inch refractor when you were seven years old," said Twilight, beaming. "How long do we have left?"

Sunset squinted for a moment, synchronizing with her earthly presence. "We're out of time. Sorry, hon. We'll have to leave it here."

"Actually..." Twilight's eyes suddenly widened, "can I stay here?"

"No," said Sunset, immediately.

"Just until you're done with the summit, I mean?"

"Absolutely not."

Twilight's eyes continued to widen. Sunset felt a kind of invisible psychic vice closing around her, applying pressure. Nothing magical, just the power of a little sister with experience in getting what she wanted, now applied to an oh-so-pliable girlfriend. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Twilight, I'm not leaving you by yourself on Ares."

"I'll be really careful, I promise!" Twilight begged. "I won't do anything dangerous and I'll just be looking at the scenery and please please please please please?"

Sunset groaned, and summoned a pot of rust-colored soil into existence, manifesting a tiny portion of herself into a bloom of red-and-yellow roses. "I'm keeping a physical avatar here. The moment I get even a hint that something's wrong, I'll be here, global summit or not."

"Oh thank you thank you!" Twilight said, squeezing her in a tight hug. "But seriously, you really don't have to—"

"Keep your arms and legs inside the ship at all times. Do not use magic unless instructed. Do not attempt to take control of the ship."

"Sunset," Twilight frowned, as Sunset placed the potted plant on a ledge above them. "Come on, you know I won't do anything stupid."

"I know, but I also know what scientific curiosity does to you," Sunset said, putting an arm around her shoulders. "When I'm done we can come back for a proper science date, how does that sound?"

Twilight beamed, delivering a peck to Sunset's lips. "Like the most romantic thing I've ever heard."

Sunset grinned and returned the kiss. "I'm glad I'm a hundred million kilometers away from anyone who can see me being this sappy. Love you, hon. Behave yourself."

She vanished in a flash of light.

Sunset reappeared at the podium of the summit assembly hall, where a large crowd of journalists and photographers were already gathered, seated behind a panel of leaders and experts from nations all over the world.

"Sorry, sorry for being late," Sunset said, adjusting a microphone with her magic. "I had something very important to attend to first..." she trailed off as she noticed the room had fallen silent far more quickly than she expected, and many were giving her some rather surprised looks.

She blinked and looked down at her bare amber figure. "Oh, right! Clothes."

Author's Note

Well, when you're playing the role of Dr. Manehattan and your costume is accurate... :twilightblush:

Twichotomy, by FoME

Author's Note

This one takes place several years after the majority of the stories in this setting thus far.

Twichotomy, by FoME

The rainbow of Harmony didn’t feel how Storm Surge had expected it to. The light stung her eyes, leaving inverted spectra when she shut them. A constant prickling like an unreachable itch swept across her whole body, especially around her neck as it tugged at the Alicorn Amulet. The Amulet’s silent screams in her third ear didn’t help. (Really, it was being a big baby about the whole event. Even Harmony couldn't undo the latch if she didn't let it.)

Most interesting of all was the sensation that wasn’t there. No sense of guilt or remorse imposed itself on Storm’s mind, which just confirmed her suspicion that Princess Luna had been a weakling beneath the Nightmare’s bluster.

As the radiance faded, and with it the tornadoes she had summoned to level Ponyville, Storm got to her hooves, emphasizing every bodily tremor and keeping her wings limp. She even stumbled like a newborn foal a few times, just like she’d practiced.

“Land’s sakes…” said Applejack, and Storm held back a grin. Failing to plan was planning to fail, as the saying went, but actually planning for failure never hurt.

She turned the chuckle that threatened to betray her into a coughing sob and, still averting her eyes, said, “I’m so sorry! When I was a filly—”

Another, sharper pain interrupted Storm, like something had bitten and burned through her left ear at the same time. She clapped a hoof over it, words slipping out before she could think about them. “Gah! What the mule-rutting buck!?”

“Twilight, we’ve talked about this.” Fluttershy didn’t sound afraid, which must have been a rarity for her. She just seemed… disappointed?

“And when someone’s actually contrite after we blast them, I won’t shoot.”

Finally, Storm looked up. That had been the princess’s voice, yes, but the tone had been wrong. Rather than the insufferable serenity she’d heard in newsreels and radio broadcasts, this had been… not cruel, but annoyed. As though the righteous crusade to raise pegasi to their proper place was just an inconvenience for the princess to deal with.

Except that this wasn’t the princess.

Storm hadn’t gotten a good view of the surface as she’d led her vortices forward, just the rainbow rising up to meet her. Now she took in a human, a rare sight indeed in Cloudsdale. Even the ones who aped pegasus flight couldn’t manage cloudwalking. She—it was probably a mare going by the voice—also wore a full suit of armor the same color as Storm’s indigo coat and hefted a small cannon that definitely didn’t shoot parties. The business end still had a faint red glow, presumably after firing whatever had hit Storm’s ear.

“Hello,” said the human. “You were probably expecting Princess Twilight. Unfortunately, Princess Twilight is currently at a peace summit on the other side of the planet, and even if she weren’t, leaving would offend at least five other nations. She also created a form for scheduling coups and rampages specifically to avoid this kind of thing.”

Storm sneered. No sense maintaining the facade if the mare with the artillery piece didn’t believe it. She’d have already fled if the rainbow hadn’t left her genuinely exhausted. “I’m not going to sweep away her decadent regime at her convenience.”

The human shook her head. “It’s not for her convenience. It’s for your safety.” She pressed a few buttons at the base of her neck. The armor’s helmet folded into the rest of it, revealing a head with a pale lavender complexion, a weak facsimile of a unicorn horn, a bizarre visor across the eyes, and a short-cropped mane with an all-too-familiar two-tone streak. “Because when Princess Twilight can’t make it, you get Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer.

“Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer also has other things she’d rather be doing than acting as a focus for Harmony magic. Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer has a Paradiamond-powered vocal analysis algorithm that, to use the local vernacular, can tell when you’re dropping horse apples out the wrong end.” Various parts of the cannon began to glow and spin. An ominous hum began low enough to feel in Storm’s bones and steadily rose in pitch. “And Dr. Sparkle-Shimmer is much a bigger believer in the power of coherent plasma as a reformation tool.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes “Going a little heavy on the Trixie there, Twi.”

“Fool!” cried Pinkie Pie, wearing thick glasses and a lab coat. “She’ll show us all!”

Telekinesis constricted around Storm’s barrel. “You’ll want to take off the Amulet, darling.” She hadn’t even noticed Rarity moving behind her. “She only fires the one warning shot.”

Storm did so with all due haste, despite the Amulet’s continuing screams. The corrupting power of infinite magic was one thing. A cannon that was now making a sound she could feel in her teeth was quite another.

SSR Drop (Surly Siren Rant), by FoME

Adagio had heard a lot of madness over the years. Inciting several wars had given her plenty of experience there, to say nothing of delving into the abyssal depths of her home’s oceans or having to listen to Mr. Discord before he had his first cup of coffee.

“You want to do an ad read.”

Nothing quite compared to what she’d just heard Aria tell her.

“I will do the next ad read,” Aria insisted, glaring at Adagio with her arms crossed.

“You want to do an ad read.” In Adagio’s defense, centuries of Aria not volunteering for anything unless there was a chance of bloodshed had left her unprepared for this, along with the other siren storming into her room unannounced. (After those same centuries, all three sirens knew better than to share a bedroom. Mr. Discord had happily accommodated them with a little chaos magic-powered remodeling.)

Aria rolled her eyes. “Is this going to be a whole thing?”

“Sonata always does the ad reads,” Adagio said with the same certainty as reciting a law of physics. Objects fell. The sun rose and set. Sonata did the grunt work that called for a smile.

“Sonata wouldn’t know dignity if she bit it in half,” Aria snarled.

Adagio nodded. That too was set in stone. “And yet you want—”

“I’m willing to make an exception.”

That got a sigh as Adagio recalled just who had offered to pay for singing their praises on My Sister, My Sister, and Me. “Should I just assume we’re losing this sponsor?”

Aria just grinned. Out of the three sirens, she definitely appreciated getting back their old teeth the most.

“… and so, no, ‘Family in Fillydelphia,’” Adagio concluded, “I am almost positive we’re not related.”

“That’s probably true,” said Sonata, staring at the ceiling and still thinking about a digression from three minutes earlier, “but what does it have to do with those things on the ends of shoelaces?”

Adagio permitted herself a slight smirk. It wasn’t like they were recording video today. “While we contemplate that, let’s have a word from our sponsors. Aria?”

Sonata sat up, previous thought forgotten. “Wait, what?”

Aria scowled at her, but it was one of her more affectionate scowls. “You’re not the only one who can deliver a sales pitch.” She cleared her throat, picked up the suggested ad copy, and promptly tore it in half. “Do you want to embark on a fantastic journey of magic and machinery? Well, there’s probably some games out there that can give you one, or you could put Love Love Naval Academy on your phone.

“Feel your phone overheat as it struggles to render enough particle effects and big numbers to make you think you’re playing a slot machine. Because you are playing a slot machine. It just pays out in imaginary currency and image files of girls wearing sailor uniforms and boat parts who are allegedly above the age of consent.

“Use the code DAZZ50—that’s dee aye zee zee five zero—for a bunch of fake money that would usually cost you real money. And do it fast, ‘cause they’re probably pulling the sponsorship as we speak. Love Love Naval Academy: You can’t buy self-respect, so you might as well embrace why you don’t have any.” Aria sat back with the same satisfied grin that followed her reaction to some idiot calling women “the weaker sex.”

Adagio shook away the pleasant memories. “We do need to make a living, Aria. Unless you want to go back to being Mr. Discord’s teaching assistant.”

“Or prison,” added Sonata.

Aria shrugged. “Eh, that got old.”

Sonata tilted her head in thought. “Which one?”

“Yes. Besides, speaking as a sea monster who used to feed on people's hatred, I say these things give predatory tactics a bad name."

Adagio thought about that for a moment. "Valid point, amazingly enough. Who’s up for another letter from the mailbag?”

Dream Engine, by Sudrian Engineer

An orange-skinned teenage unicorn aspect carried his laptop down the halls of CHS, glad the universal goddess had agreed to at least hear out his the request. Once in the agreed-upon meeting room, he set up his laptop and waited. At the appointed time, Sunset appeared in a flash and nodded to him.

“Thank you for agreeing to this, Sunset. As promised, I will not try and beg if you say no,” the teen said, pressing a key on his laptop to pull up his presentation.

“Sure, Rusty,” Sunset began. “Not many people ask as respectfully you did. They tack on a bunch of titles I didn't ask for, sure, but they still shout demands at the heavens until I say something.”

Rusty nodded and began the presentation, the first slide showing an image of a fictional island. “If you would, please close your eyes and picture a land where the sky is so blue…”

Half an hour later, he reached the last slide, depicting a blue, orange, and white flag. He nodded to Sunset, signifying that he was done.

She looked at him with a thoughtful expression before giving a sad smile. “This was a very well put-together proposal, but I think you know the risks and possible consequences of expanding an island. To say nothing of giving locomotives sapience.”

The teen had a sad but understanding look as he nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I kinda figured it was a long shot, but I was always taught that it never hurts to ask.”

Sunset's smile took a turn for the sly. “That being said, I think I can do something you may enjoy almost as much.”

"So then, I—" A chime from Sunset's phone interrupted her. She pulled it out with a scowl. "I swear, if this is Rainbow Dash..." Her expression mellowed as she looked at the screen. "Oh!"

"What is it?" said Twilight, even as she slid closer on Sunset's unpronounceably Scandineighvian couch to look over her shoulder.

"You remember that one guy who actually made an appointment? He sent me a photo."

In the image, Rusty beamed in his massive basement, standing front of a sprawling scale model replica of a fictional railway, a little blue engine visible in the background.

Author's Note

Ask (respectfully) and ye shall receive (within reason.)

Who Wants to Live Forever?, by FoME

“I’m going to need to see some ID, Miss.”

Intellectually, Adagio Dazzle knew she should savor this sort of thing, given the wrinkles and gray hairs waiting for her scant decades in the future. But she’d been putting up with a slow infantilization for decades as it was, what with society continually expanding the scope of childhood. She was in no mood to put up with it now. Especially not today of all days.

“Miss—”

“I heard you the first time.” Sadly, a quick tune to enflame the wage slave’s scorn at pointless protocols wasn’t an option anymore, so Adagio had to play along. As if actually having to pay for things wasn’t insulting enough. Especially wine. She grudgingly pulled the relevant piece of plastic out of her purse.

Adagio watched the cashier deal with the unfamiliar sensation of thinking for a few mildly entertaining moments. Then he looked at her with something resembling pity, and she had to keep herself from throwing the first physical punch. “Miss, if you’re going to use a fake ID, at least put a number on the birthdate.”

That got him a flat look. “I hatched in the oceans of another world, twisting my siblings into tearing each other apart so I could claim the right to live. I wasn’t exactly looking at the calendar at the time. Hence ‘indeterminate.’”

The cashier didn’t answer. The concept may have been too complicated for him, or he was simply entranced by Adagio’s picture on her ID. Though furrowed brows didn’t usually go with enthrallment. “We also don’t recognize… ‘Beautiful Assistant Permits’ here.”

Adagio sighed. “Mr. Discord insists I’m several years and published papers away from a full mad scientist’s license.”

It took her a moment to recognize the look that engendered. Sympathy had been a rarity over the years. “Oh, you work for Mr. Discord.” Finally, the cashier began scanning her purchase. “You can just say that next time.”

Only after spotting the security camera—one that the earth aspect bagging the wine had more influence over than Adagio did—did she hold herself back from any response beyond a “Duly noted.”

“Hey, everything okay?” said Lemon Zest. “You not eating isn’t a red flag so much as a matador in the color guard.”

Sonata looked up from picking at her taco salad and shrugged. “It’s… well, it isn’t really a siren holiday. We didn’t have those back home. But I guess anything we came up with here counts.”

“Like the anniversary of the day you came here?” Sunny Flare said from next to her not-my-girlfriend. (They were still several months away from their official first date.)

Sonata shook her head. “Not something we really want to celebrate. And it’s not like we were looking at a calendar back then. But it is a sad anniversary.”

Both girls made interested human sounds. It was enough to get Sonata through the pain of the next sentence:

“Red Mercury died today.”

Sunny screwed up her face. “The singer from Princess?”

Lemon just nodded. “Yeah, that tracks.”

“It does?”

“If he’d lived to see magic, he’d have been a siren aspect.”

Sonata nodded. “He basically already was one.”

Sunny leaned back, crossing her arms. “Really?”

“To be fair-eon, Flareon—”

“Never call me by the name of a Capsumon again.”

Lemon stuck out her tongue at her. “I promise nothing. But some of the tracks are borderline supernatural. You start singing Bohaymian Rhapsody and people will join in.”

Sonata nodded. “Adagio spent a week listening to it, trying to figure out how he’d enchanted it. Aria had to break the record after she started talking about summoning the demons in the lyrics to get answers out of them.”

“Understandable,” said Sunny.

Lemon took a moment to answer, a rare frown on her face. “An unforgivable crime against vinyl,” she eventually allowed, “but for good reasons.”

“We met him once in the 80s.” Sonata smiled at the memory. “In all the time we’ve spent on this world, he was the only person all three of us liked.”

“Really wish I could have toured with you girls.” Lemon paused for a moment, thinking. “You know, barring the constant emotional abuse.”

“Wouldn’t be that different from Crystal Prep.”

“Principal Cadence is working on it.”

Sunny quirked an eyebrow. “How did you put it once? ‘Inertia is a harsh mistress,’ something like that.”

“Along those lines, yeah. But we’re not in class right now. This is a safe space for sincere emotional expression.” Lemon raised her soda. “To Red. May he be cycling with bottom-heavy girls in the hereafter.”

The other met the toast as best they could with paper cups. “To Red.”

One of the few things the sirens agreed on when Mr Discord designed their bedrooms, aside from having individual bedrooms in the first place, was high-quality sound systems. Indeed, all three had brought up speaker fidelity and soundproofing before such minor matters as a bed or a closet.

As such, opening Aria’s door meant getting hit with an almost palpable blast of sound.

I want it all.
I want it all.
I want it all.
And I want it now.

Mr. Discord’s lips curled into a fond smile. “Ah, this takes me back. Luna used to sulk to this exact song.”

Aria briefly glared at him before her head rolled back into the embrace of her beanbag chair. “Get out of my room.”

“The nostalgia just keeps on coming. I don’t suppose you’re hiding any star-speckled teddy bears in here?”

That got her to look up more firmly, snarling and baring her shark-like teeth.

Mr. Discord sighed, his expression drooping to something more empathetic. “For the record, I provided the tapes she sulked to, as I have with a much younger niece. The world lost a great artist with his passing. I suppose being a siren means you feel the loss that much more keenly.”

Aria’s gaze darted away. “Out of all the sucky humans in the world, he sucked the least.”

“High praise. Adagio’s downstairs, working her way through a bottle of Chardoneigh. It doesn’t do anything for me anymore, but I’m providing moral support, ambiance, and detox should it prove necessary. You’re welcome to join us.”

Aria curled up, turning away from him. “Eh.”

“Fair enough.” Mr. Discord left, closing the door behind him.

After a few more minutes and the album moving onto Invisible Man, Aria groaned, forced herself out of the chair, and made her way downstairs. No one said anything, but they did clink glasses.

The first sung "Mama..." came minutes later.

Author's Note

After I saw the Tumblr post, this was inevitable. I just wanted to time it to near the actual anniversary of Freddie Mercury's passing.

Recursive Analysis, by FoME

Sunset was smarter than she looked, which was saying something. At her highest level, she comprehended all the truths of physical reality at the same instinctive level as a child running the calculus needed to predict a ball’s path in order to catch it. Even the avatar she used to maintain her humanity had a general idea of where the current model diverged from the real thing, to say nothing of those terrifying first few minutes where the real thing had been ever more rapidly diverging from its own stable behavior.

Of course, understanding the true nature of dark energy and quantum gravity on such an intrinsic level made it difficult to put it into words, to say nothing of how Twilight never would have forgiven her if she just handed the knowledge down from on high without letting humanity discover it for themselves. The scientific community wouldn’t accept it even if she did; not-quite-divine revelation was right up there with “Dude, trust me” in terms of reliable, reproducible sources.

That also didn’t mean Sunset was omniscient. There was a lot more to know than the dances of galaxies and electrons: The nature of the Fae, the stubborn minds of her worshipers, what to get Twilight for Hearts in Hands Day, and more besides.

Today, she had come back to one particular irritant that had been lodged in her throats since her audience with the Tree of Harmony, the idea that the world was “intended” to have been so low-magic as to be mistaken for not having any at all, save for key “necessities.” She hadn’t had time to dig into that with the Tree back when the world had been less than an hour away from total collapse, but now she could at least try to explore the concept.

Thus an extension of Sunset sat in the still violently orange Astral Plane, on a comfortable if unpronounceable recliner, focusing on that mystery and a single goal: Finding the son of a mule who was responsible for the decisions she’d had to revise.

Sure, it wasn’t the most enlightened approach to the problem, but if the Shimmerists got a higher power to turn to, then it was only fair that she get someone to blame.

A rectangular window into the material world opened before her, and Sunset peered deep into the truth.

Two unicorn aspects sat facing one another, spells and summoned creatures scattered between them in inscrutable, arcane arrangements. One scowled. The other assessed the situation with apparent calm, belied only by his leg shaking under the table.

He turned several cards sideways. “And that’s eight in the air,” he said, his skin and hair oddly reminiscent of Snails if one ignored the age, glasses, and handlebar mustache. “Responses?”

Shining Armor threw down his hand of Hocus Pocus: the Get-Together cards in frustration. “One day. One day I will defeat you.”

That got a shrug. “It’s just a game, Shining. Good match.” The man extended his hand.

Shining sighed and shook it. “Yeah, yeah. Good match, Thought Bubble.”

The window snapped shut, and Sunset Shimmer, Catalyst of Harmony, soul of the universe, goddess in denial, frowned and leaned back in her chair.

“I don’t get it.”

Author's Note

Shameless self-insert go!

The Pain of Returning Home, by FoME [Profanity]

Spontaneous bursts of laughter were a common occurrence at the Rainbooms’ lunch table. Pinkie Pie had a dozen jokes at various stages of development in her mind at any given time, and she reacted to inspiration striking with a giggle and pulling a glittery notebook out of her backpack to record the idea for posterity.

Far less common was a giggle coming from Fluttershy.

Pinkie’s smile widened as everyone turned to her, pink gel pen already in hand. “Ooh, ooh, what is it?”

“Oh, j-just a memory,” said Fluttershy, still shaking with mirth.

“Always nice to see a memory get that kind of reaction and not cringing in time-delayed embarrassment.” Twilight winced, shook her head, and sighed. “Like that.”

Sunset gave her a one-armed side hug and a shared smile before turning back to Fluttershy. “What happened?”

“Well, this was back during Rainbow’s first big soccer game, when we all knew we’d found our icons and really met each other for the first time.” Fluttershy gave Twilight an apologetic look. “Mostly.”

“I was there. Just with Mr. Discord, and he wanted to make sure I was with family when I found my icon.” Twilight shrugged. “No one else on the Crystal Prep side had the epiphany.”

“Anyway, some of us already knew each other; Rainbow knew me, I knew Rarity, Rarity knew Applejack.”

“And we all knew of Pinkie Pie,” added Rarity, “but she was more of a… phenomenon at the time.”

Pinkie nodded. “I bounced around most of the school’s social groups in freshman year. Turns out trying to be everything to everyone means no one ever gets to know you.”

“It’s tradition to…” Fluttershy hesitated and whispered the next part. “To perform the Mysteries with other people who find their icon at the same moment. So we were connecting and meeting and…” She trailed off and shook her head. “It’s hard to explain, Sunset. I’m still not used to talking about it.”

“No, I get it,” said Sunset. “A lot of lifelong friendships in Equestria begin with getting cutie marks at the same time. Plus, you know, I was there when the Crusaders got theirs.” She gave an uneasy smile. “And kind of responsible for them, depending on how you look at it.”

“Right. Anyway, when Rainbow Dash got her first good look at Applejack…” Fluttershy trailed off into more giggles, several of the other girls joining her as she jogged their memories.

Dash herself had gone an icy shade of pale. “I said something really clever and funny and that’s all we need to say about it. Shy, you gonna finish your pasta salad?”

Applejack shook her head. “No, no, I remember it now.”

“Shut up, no you don’t.”

“Now you gotta know, I’ve always been tall fer my age. Not as much as Big Mac, but back in freshman year, I was the tallest in some o’ my classes afore the boys’ growth spurts really kicked in.” Applejack grinned at Dash, who was sliding down in her seat as her complexion shifted to a blushing purple. “So me ’n’ Rainbow, this li’l slip of a thing, meet fer the first time, and she looks up an’ up an’ up, an when she finally reaches my face, she’s like a deer in headlights.”

Rarity smirked. “Her icon wasn’t the only religious experience she had that day, yes.”

“Dash isn’t here.” Dash had, in fact, buried her face in the table and pulled her jacket over her head. “She’s in Jacket Town.”

“Granny Smith an’ all their parents are there, figurin’ out who’s drivin’ who to the temple. An’ in front of ‘em all, she says, an’ I quote, ‘Holy brick, yer built like a shit fuckhouse.’”

Everyone took that in for a few moments, snorts and giggles bursting out of straining self-control here and there.

“I can’t believe I had a crush on you,” Dash said from the heart of Jacket Town.

Pinkie beamed. “Dad actually smirked at that! I think. Maud said he did; I wasn’t looking.”

Twilight turned to Sunset. “It’s nice to know that my own social fumbling is on par with that of the rest of the group.”

That got a nod. “Oh yeah. Speaking from experience, the first step to good social skills is having really, really bad ones.”

Author's Note

For those wondering about the chapter title, it's the literal etymology of "nostalgia."

Lemon Zest's Surreal Sleepytime Surprise, by FoME

“Had the weirdest dream last night,” Lemon Zest said unprompted during a two-girl hangout in the Crystal Prep library.

(It was not a date. Among other reasons, no amount of effort on Principal Cadence's part could make the cavernous structure feel even slightly romantic for anyone less nerdy than Twilight Sparkle. Moondancer and Sugarcoat considered it a go-to spot for their dates, which only proved the point.)

“Oh?” said Sunny Flare, not looking up from the essay she was working on. It was a very carefully modulated “Oh,” where the polite tone carried an underlying indifference, and that indifference was in turn an affectation concealing the sincere interest that dared not show its face. Before Cinch retired, Crystal Prep students had been expected to pick up on that level of subtext before the end of freshman year.

Lemon could, did, and plowed on ahead without any conversational guises of her own. “Magic hadn’t changed everything, but Twilight had still transferred to Canterlot High. You were a stereotypical teen drama queen bee bitch with Sugarcoat and Sour Sweet under your thumb and all three of you were giving her terrible friendship advice because this Twilight had all the confidence of a kicked puppy and wasn’t sure what to do with people who genuinely liked her.”

“Well, that last part feels accurate," Sunny said with a scowl, directed at herself as much as any other part of the student body. Lemon knew that from the twist in her own gut. "Why was she even at Crystal Prep?”

“She put off cleaning out her locker as long as she could.”

“Understandable." Sunny looked up, drama kid impulses sufficiently engaged that she dropped a layer of facade. "So did I have any kind of Zigarrean excuse? Insecurity about my hands? Unrequited crush on some uppperclassman who I’d thought was 'so cool'?” It really was impressive how much disgust she could put into finger quotes.

“Nah, you were just miserable and made yourself feel less bad in comparison by making everyone around you feel worse." Lemon crossed her arms as she tried to recall any more of the faded details. "I think the implication was that Aunt Abby was to blame, but it never really went into that much depth.”

“Where were you in all of this?”

That got a shrug. “Nowhere to be found! Neither was Indy. Watched the whole thing from disembodied third person, including the sleepover where you crowned Twilight as Princess of Friendship.”

Sunny gave Lemon a funny look, then shifted her gaze to the middle distance as she thought it over. Her fingernail tapping the reading table gave enough of a beat for Lemon to bop along to it when she came to a conclusion. “I don’t know what you ate before bed last night, but you should probably avoid it in the future.”

Lemon grinned. "Or, hear me out, I have more of it and try to plumb the mysteries of the subconscious."

That got a raised eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure Canterlot's vice principal will have something to say about that."

After a few moments of thought, Lemon pinched herself. "Needed to make sure that was waking madness. Beg your what now?"

Sunny turned in her seat so both girls were fully facing each other, essay forgotten. "Well, a few months back..."

Author's Note

Twilight Sparkle's Sparkly Sleepover Surprise truly is one of the pony novels of all time, even if the only pony involved is Sunset Shimmer.

Sunny's harkening back to this earlier short. Dreams where a Luna pays you a visit tend to be even more memorable than when you accidentally glimpse the timeline next door.

Foam, by FoME

Friendship was magic.

Not all human magic was friendship, but the old Equestrian homily still held true even in this brave new world. So did all of the verifiable phenomena it implied, like sympathetic bonds. Sunset usually chose not to perceive the vast web of social relationships that crisscrossed Canterlot High; doing so would make it hard to see anything else. But focusing solely on the connections to a specific person drew her to her quarry as inevitably as gravity.

Even if that quarry turned out to treat gravity as optional. "Ditzy. Somehow I'm not surprised."

"Nice to see you too," Ditzy Doo said with a lopsided smile. "What did I break this time?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Why would you think you broke something?"

That got a shrug and a sad "Pattern recognition."

"You haven't done anything wrong." And, because Sunset also had good pattern recognition, she added, "Not as far as I can tell, anyway. But someone you're close to has gotten my attention, and I was hoping you could tell me about him." A minor exertion of will manifested a sheet of paper with Thought Bubble's face on it, captured from Sunset's own memory.

One glance at the picture and Ditzy was so surprised, she was almost seeing straight. "My cousin broke reality? That'd be a first for him."

"No one broke re..." Sunset trailed off as she considered what other extensions of herself had been up to this week. "No one you know broke reality. Recently. But I've been trying to get answers to some deep cosmic questions and he came up. What can you tell me about him?"

"He's a nice guy, but nobody special in the grand scheme of things," Ditzy said with a shrug. "The most cosmically significant thing he ever did was teach me how to play Hocus Pocus: the Get-Together. Which, you know, introduced me to the idea of multiverses." She tapped her seven-bubble tie clip.

"Huh. So not some transcendent being in mortal guise or anything?"

Ditzy snorted at that. "He writes fan fiction, Sunset. If he's a transcendent being, I'm an eldritch horror."

Sunset gave her a flat look. "You're a six-dimensional entity who wanders from universe to universe as a congery of iridescent spheres."

Ditzy rolled her eyes, which admittedly would've been quite the experience for someone who didn't have the constitution for mathematics. "Anyone can sound eldritch if you hit a thesaurus that hard. You know what I mean."

"At this point?" Sunset scowled at the externalized memory. "I'm not sure I do."

After a suitably dramatic pause, Ditzy cleared her throat. "Have you considered, you know, talking to him about it?"

"Now that you've confirmed that he isn't a bigger fish slumming it in our universe, I may do just that."

Trapped in Another World with Unwanted Cheat Powers, by FoME

Introducing Sunset to Earth’s pop culture was an ongoing group effort, with different friends handling different genres and media. It was Fluttershy’s efforts that had introduced her to anime (other than Dragonpearl) and that had made her aware of the CHS Neighponese Culture Club.

She’d known of the club during her bad old days, but only as one more way to divide and conquer the school, one that had ended up sundered as its members had retreated to their own larger cliques. Now she understood it as… Well, basically an excuse for several students to watch magical girls and highly improbable romances after school. Fluttershy had warned Sunset about recent trends in the medium, but with Scribble Dee as club president, scantily clad harems weren’t on the docket any time soon. And that was all Sunset had cared to know about it.

“Sunset?”

So when Scribble Dee, a unicorn aspect with frizzy orange hair and yellow skin like some surreal anti-Applejack, came to Sunset one day with a thick paperback in hand, she was rather confused by the approach. “Um, yes?”

The girl squirmed under her scrutiny, and Sunset recalled all of the incidental bullying she’d put her through. Scribble had never been a deliberate target, but she’d often been in Sunset’s line of sight during especially foul moods. “Sorry for… everything.”

Scribble blinked owlishly, then gave a weak smile. “Oh! It’s not that. I know a redemption arc when I see one.”

“Thanks?” Sunset’s eyes darted to the crossed pencils emblem on the girl’s skirt as she recalled fringe psychological theories about how ponies’ cutie marks warped their way of thinking.

“It’s just, I know you hate stumbling across this kind of thing without warning…”

Sunset sighed. “Right, we share a lunch period, don’t we?”

That got a grin and a nod. “Yeah. So I figured you ought to know about this.” Scribble offered the book to her.

Sunset raised an eyebrow as she read the cover. “Reincarnated in Another World as an Almighty Pet Goldfish.” She glanced up at the blushing Scribble. “The only other world I can send you to is Equestria. And you won’t even get turned into a pony, much less a goldfish.”

Scribble shook her head. “Not that. It’s a certain plot device in the manga. Right at the start.”

After a few pages, Sunset looked back up. “Is it the vehicular homicide?”

Another shake. “No, that’s been a common way to kick off isekai stories for years.”

Sunset furrowed her brow. “He gets sent to a bar?”

“What?”

“Never mind.” Sunset kept going. Another few pages later, she sighed. “Oh.”

Scribble sighed. “Yeah.”

The artist had applied a thin veneer of plausible deniability. The character’s face was never shown, always cut off by the top of the panel or obscured in her hair, and in theory that could be any young woman with striped hair in the black-and-white pages. But sitting behind an overloaded desk in a fluffy cloud afterlife with a nameplate that read “Sxxxxx Sxxxxxx” made the intent clear.

Sunset read bemusedly as the portrayal of her sifted through a mile-high inbox to handle the main character’s premature demise, mixing up several forms in the process and sending him to his titularly surreal fate. She sighed. “Why do I get the feeling that this is as much of a trend as the main character getting run over?”

“It is more recent than that. The original light novel just used a generic god of the afterlife, but the manga adaptation came out just after everything changed, and, well…”

“It’s a trope now?”

Scribble nodded. “People online are calling it ‘Kami-shima.’ They never come out and show your face or say your name, but it’s a bit like not using the actual name of Burger Princess. Everyone knows what they’re referring to.”

Sunset dragged her fingers through her hair. “I was dragging my feet on getting Magical Mayhem translated. I should definitely get on that. Don’t want people thinking this kind of thing could actually happen.”

“It’s isekai,” Scribble said with the same tone Sunset might have used to talk about Prince Blueblood when she was Celestia’s student. “Pure wish fulfillment with barely any plot.”

“People want to get turned into goldfish?”

“Okay, mostly pure wish fulfillment.”

Author's Note

Yes, the CHS anime club is canon.

Sentry on Duty, by EonAon

One Friday at Sugarcube Corner, Flash Sentry looked about with a weird look on his face.

"Hey, Flash."

Looking around, Flash spotted Ditzy Doo and waved her over. "Hey, Ditzy. How's the magical girl thing going for you?"

"You would not belive some of the things that have happened... Wait, forgot who I was talking to. Saved any more orphanges lately?" Ditzy laughed.

"Actually, I'm having a weird week. Even for me, believe it or not." Flash shook his head. "Actually, I don't think you will believe it."

"You can tell me, Flash. We've known each other since kindergarden. Besides, your week couldn't have been any weirder than mine."

"See, that's the issue. Nothing's happened. Nothing at all. No battle of the bands against evil developers, no driving my car and finding somebody on the side of the road who's secretly an heiress on the run from the mob, no magical mishaps. Nothing. Its starting to freak me out a bit."

Ditzy all but fell into the chair next to him as she thought about that. "You're right. That "is" weird for you."

Author's Note

Flash Sentry's unsung heroics make Booster Gold look like Superman.

Results Inconclusive, Virginia, by Masterweaver

"Wait," said Sunset. "You're saying Old Holly Hooves isn't real?!"

Her friends all looked at her strangely.

"...Well. Yes." Twilight nodded. "I mean, it's scientifically... I guess not impossible, strictly speaking, but—"

"I put up a stocking every year! I've been doing it since I was a filly! And every year, it's been filled!"

"Generally it's the parents that—"

"Every year, Twilight! Including the ones I was here!" Sunset shrugged. "Granted, I tended to get coal, but I assumed that was just a quirk of this reality."

"...oooooookay. That's... actually kind of weird."

"Hey," Pinkie spoke up. "If you're kind of omnipresent, can't you just, I dunno, go find Old Holly Hooves yourself and ask him if he's real?"

Sunset blinked. "Well... maybe? He's probably busy around this time of year, though. I'll just wait till summer."

Author's Note

From the thread:

FanOfMostEverything: I love the idea of Sunset putting up a stocking even during her less pleasant phase, but would the human world still have a reindeer running things?
Masterweaver: This is one of those things I don't want to answer because it's funnier that way.

Objectionable Content, by Void Knight

“Oh Sunset. No. Nononono.”

*FWOOMP*

“Twilight? What’s wrong?"

"Look at this book."

"Hmm... Breaking Dawn... Wait, is that a picture of us kissing on the cover?”

“Read the back blurb.”

“Dusk Shine is just an ordinary high school student blah blah encounters a bacon-haired stranger who sweeps her off her feet and carries her away into a world of wonder and romance? Discord’s mismatched horns!”

“And that’s not even the worst bit.”

“Wait, what could be worse than that blurb?”

“That!”

“By Midnight Sun? I’m guessing there’s something I’m missing here?”

“Oh yes. You see, I happen to know that Midnight Sun is a pen name. Care to guess who’s behind it?”

“Oh no…”

“Yep. My. Mother. Wrote. This.”

Author's Note

For a brief, terrible moment, Sunset considered declaring the book anathema, knowing her followers would not rest until they had destroyed every copy. In the end, they had yet another schism over whether it was heresy or a new chapter of holy writ.

Highest of the High Rises, by ArtieStroke

Rainbow Dash slurped her drink thoughtfully.

"You know, you oughta get yourself a floating lookout point."

"Whu?" Sunset said ever so gracefully through a mouthful of peanut butter and jelly.

"You know, a lookout! Big floaty mansion thing, maybe hire a scary butler— Ooh! You could put in one of those hyper-whatsit time-space thingies for awesome training montages! Think of the gains, Sunset!"

Sunset stared at Rainbow for just a skosh over nine seconds before carefully setting her sandwich down. "Rainbow Dash, for the last time, I'm NOT God, you are NOT a Super Hayan, and this is NOT Dragon Pearl X."

Rainbow's head fell onto the table with a hearty whunk. "Aww man..."

Author's Note

"But Ditzy found—"

"A small magical cyst that happened to resemble a Dragon Pearl. You have more magic than that thing."

"Really..."

"Whatever you're thinking, no."

Launch Error, by FoME

"Hey!"

Sunset looked away from her locker to see a scowling Scootaloo. "Yes?"

"I want to file a bug report."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

Scootaloo spread her wings... which didn't even extend past her shoulders. She grunted and groaned like a constipated anime character and managed maybe an inch of altitude before landing, panting and furious. "What... gives?"

"Well..." Sunset put a hand on her chin as she thought. "Fluttershy's closer to animals than ever, but she has a very low top flight speed. Maybe unusual talents like your fate magic come at the cost of normal pegasus magic." She frowned. "I may have done this to you, Scootaloo. I'm sorry." She reached out to put a hand on the younger girl's shoulder.

After a blur of motion, Scootaloo wasn't there. "It's not all bad," she said from behind Sunset.

Sunset turned. "Wha—"

Judging by the blur and the brief pressure on Sunset's shoulders, Scootaloo vaulted over her at ludicrous speed and, once more behind her, said, "I'm still pretty awesome. Just wanted to know why I couldn't get airborne."

Fathoming the Unfathomable, by Tophe

Twilight massaged her forehead. “No, I mean the geometry of the space you travel through. Is it Eweclidean? Mincowski? Is it even a manifold?”

“Yup.” Pinkie nodded sagely. “I have no idea what those are.”

“Well, is it hyperbolic, elliptical, or flat?”

“Oh, definitely not flat. It's all floofy, like cotton candy!”

“Ugh, this was a waste of my time. Sorry, Pinkie, but if you don't have the technical basics to – wait, how is it like cotton candy?”

“Well, cotton candy's made of sugar threads wrapped around a long stick. So if the stick is the universe, the candy is like...”

* * *

… this five-dimensional region is surrounded by the Bubble Bath, which doesn't contain any strawberryways because it would dissolve the sugar.

I would like to thank Pinkamena Pie for her contributions to this chapter.

extract from Probability Space: A Primer by Twilight Sparkle

Mana Points, by Tophe and Masterweaver

(Tophe)

"We hypothesized as far as magic's concerned clothing is actually a part of the human body which is Pinkie-level bizarre but it explains so much like how Sunset and my counterpart came through the portal in normal human fashions and also you know how animals -"

"Twilight, dear, a little focus wouldn't go amiss." said Rarity, examining the tree, which gave off a gentle crackle of residual magic. A baffled but unworried rabbit glanced down from among the branches.

"Oh! Sorry I have a bit of a high at the moment from the magic surge because I overestimated the mana the spell would need for such a short duration and didn't control it well enough to adjust I'm used to having an external power source like my spectrometer actually have I shown you my spectrometer yet -"

"Twilight!" hissed Rarity. "This is turning into a disaster! We're already late for class, and if you don't figure out a counterspell in the next minute, someone will come out to investigate, and the entire school will know you TURNED FLUTTERSHY INTO A TREE!"

(Masterweaver, even less canonical than usual)

"...Mana is a snackfood," Sunset said, confused.

"Wh...what?"

"Yeah. Snackfood." Seeing the baffled look on Twilight's face, she rolled her eyes. "We'd make, basically, granola bars, but the ingredients were high-thaum-concentration plants--"

"Thaum." Twilight leapt on the word. "Thaum, is that a measure of magical energy?"

"It's a quantitative measure of potential magical energy--wait, is that what you thought mana was?"

"Yes! I mean, all the video games use... mana bars..."

The two of them stared at each other.

"...crrrrrrrap." Sunset buried her head in her hands. "We're going to have to sort out basic terminology ASAP, aren't we?"

And Now the Whether, by Masterweaver

"As you can plainly see, a vibration in harmonic register has been generated over the pacific. If you live on the west coast, you should expect a minor increase in personal heartsongs over the next week; the register seems to be low-power enough that you don't have to worry about major numbers breaking out, but it might be best to wear thick shoes if you're especially susceptible to good cheer. And that's the weather; now to Aria for the news!"

"Thank you Sonata. The Wholesome has made a strike against the recently formed Crystal Champions, using never-before-seen mental spells to bring them in. While the ethicality of these spells is still debatable, most pegasus and earth aspected members of Centauros are celebrating in the streets. The dictator Tirek has not been seen all month, and analysts predict his eugenic policies will be overturned before the year is out. Good riddance. Meanwhile, Adagio has news over in the entertainment industry."

"Hmmph."

"...Which I'm sure she'll be quite willing to share, since it pays her flippin' bills."

"Fine! Some whackos calling themselves the Technowizards have developed a gaming console that incorporates magic! They're calling it the Lotus! And maybe it'll be cool and maybe it'll flop! Rave about it online or not, I DON'T REALLY CARE!"

"This has been Siren Spell Stories, your channel for worldwide magical news. Stay tuned for our next segment: beating some sense into our former leader."

"Oh you wanna go? You think you can take me? Well come on and AAAAAAAAAUGH!"

"Whoopsie! Did I hit the taze button again?"

"...screw you, Sonata...."

Advanced Optics, by Tophe and Masterweaver

(Tophe)

"Wanna guess why Pony You doesn't wear glasses?"

"I'm blind as a bat without them, Rainbow. Assuming magical talking ponies don't have Daring Devil-based echolocation powers, she probably just wears contacts. Which probably aren't very comfortable if you have to put them in with hooves... I wonder how myopic pegasi manage."

"Nope, that's not it! I have here a text from Other Twilight herself saying she got hornbeam-eye surgery. And then two more asking what our word for hornbeam is."

"Fascinating. Well, mystery solved?"

"Wwwwwweeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllll..." grinned Rainbow over the course of five seconds.

"I saw that face when Pinkie was plotting the rock candy prank. It looks scarier on you."

"Okay, hear me out. Unicorns shoot lasers out of their horns - which, by the way, is totally awesome. You're part unicorn. So, I - "

"Are you about to suggest I perform high-energy magical surgery on myself, somehow shooting a laser from my forehead to my eye without hitting anything in-between, to fix a small cosmetic problem?"

"Oh yeah, didn't think of that. You'd have to use a mirror. Unless you can make your lasers curve."

"Rainbow, it would literally be less dangerous to request help from Mr. Discord."

(Masterweaver)

"...and that's when Rainbow changed tack, and, well, I did work with Mr. Discord a lot before I met you, and..."

Twilight sighed, awkwardly rubbing one of her four eyestalks.

Sunset facepalmed. "And that's why you have nine eyes now."

"I swear," Discord insisted, "I did not mean for this to happen."

Author's Note

Mr. Discord's degree is in physics, not biology.

Comes Great Sweetsponsibility, by Masterweaver

Sunset sat down with a sigh.

"Oh, Ah know that look." Applejack sat down next to her. "What's up, girl? Another holy war?"

"No, it's..." Running her hands through her hair, the girl took a breath. "I don't know if I should talk about this, actually. It wasn't my problem, I just... fixed it."

Applejack shrugged. "If you don't want to talk, it's fahn."

"...okay. There was this girl, got the unicorn aspect--and she also has schizophrenia. Voices, hallucinations, whole nine yards." Sunset winced. "Thing is, her hallucinations fed into her magic and... yeah."

"Ooog."

"I did... she had a boyfriend, and I basically swapped their magic--pegasus for unicorn. I mean, she still has the gem, so nobody's going to ask how she changed unless she shows off, but..." Sunset held her hands out helplessly. "Things like that. Magic affecting people on a personal level. How should I... how should the world treat that?"

Applejack tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... look, most people are treating magic like it's a Big Thing. New weapons or tech or... cultures. But here there was a case of magic being... tied to the person. Affecting them and only them. And... I don't know, is it a violation of privacy to... to notice things like that?"

"Well... Ah don't rightly know about privacy. Ah get the sneakin' suspicion that for you in specific, privacy means not talkin' bout everything ya notice. But..." Applejack shrugged. "Look, this girl, did she summon you?"

"Yeah."

"Then it sounds like she just needed somebody ta help her. Far as Ah'm concerned, that's all you need to know."

Sunset chuckled. "You're always so practical, aren't you."

"Eeeeyup."

"...I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

"Eeeeyup."

"....want to, uh... I mean..." Sunset blushed.

Applejack gave her a sly smile, and in a swift motion tore off her shirt to reveal the labcoat beneath. "Ah'm always up for science."

Author's Note

Breaking chronological order of submission for this one, since it directly ties into the previous one.

Also, I remain uncertain whether Sunset tapped Applejack's dreamscape, Applejack represents Sunset's own moral fiber, or if Twilight figured out dreamwalking and illusory disguises.

Mad Scientist's Best Friend, by EonAon and FoME

Later in the day the world was remade, another revelation worked his way down the stairs of Twilight Sparkle's home, trotted into the kitchen, and looked at the woman currently making dinner.

"Hi, Mrs. Velvet. Hey, is there any way I could get one of those bone biscuit things? Those taste great."

Twilight Velvet didn't even blink. She just sighed and shouted, "Twilight Sparkle! What have I told you about experimenting on the dog!?"

Velvet still handled the situation well even after her daughter explained the existence of parallel universes, her brief period as the incarnation of the fifth fundamental force, and never working with electroencephalograms with or without Mr. Discord. Sparkle was starting to something about dragons when Velvet up a hand.

"Let me just make sure I understand you correctly, dear. Spike can now talk? Permanently?"

Sparkle bit her lip and nodded. "I'm afraid so mother. I really don't know how it happened; I was exactly able to observe it. I definitely don't know how to undo it." She smiled, knelt down, and petted Spike. "Not that I want to."

"Then I guess we'll have to cancel that veterinarian appointment for next week, won't we?"

"Oh! Yes, I had completely forgotten about that. That's definitely a discussion I don't want to have with Spike now."

"Vet!? I remember that word," Spike said suspiciously. "What vet appointment?"

Sparkle forced a rictus grin. "Oh nothing, just a little checkup for my best assistant ever."

Velvet smiled as Spike guided her hand to the perfect spot behind his ears, but she turned serious when she looked back at her daughter. "Incidentally, does this have anything to do with why there was a hole in your bedroom wall this morning?"

The grin managed to grow even more forced. "Uh... Kind of?"

Beseech the Baconhead, by River Road

"Please?"

Sunset looked over the selection of bread before picking one and putting it in her shopping cart, not even glancing at the rainbow-haired girl. "No."

~~~~~

"Please?"

Sunset counted a few coins from her wallet and dropped them on the counter that Rainbow was leaning on, picking up her coffee and turning around with it. "No."

~~~~~

"Please?"

Sunset sighed and kept sweeping through the various types of dirt that an animal shelter generated, once again not looking away to acknowledge Rainbow. "No."

~~~~~

"Pleeeeaaase?"

Sunset sighed and stared harder at her book, trying to ignore her friend even with said friend practically hanging over her shoulder. "No."

"Pleeeeaaase?"

Her ear twitched at the voice of another one of her friends who was now apparently hanging over her other shoulder. "No. Pinkie, you don't even know what this is about."

"Yes I do."

"In that case, hell no."

Rainbow leaned forward a bit further, grinning. "Come on, Sunset. Just one day."

Sunset's eye twitched.

~~~~~

Rarity looked up from her salad, staring as Sunset quite literally dragged Rainbow and Pinkie through the cafeteria and towards their table. "Uhm..."

Sunset walked up to her, lifted the two girls who were trying not-so-hard to stifle their laughter, and dropped them into two empty chairs. "There. This is your fault, you deal with them." She turned on her heel and walked back the way she came, muttering under her breath.

Rarity blinked. "My fault? But what... oh." She looked at her two friends, who were still struggling to stop laughing. "Oh dear..."

Applejack snorted, giving Rarity a look that didn't hold the least bit of pity. "Told ya bringing that movie to movie night was a bad idea."

Rarity groaned and turned back to her salad. "I didn't consider the consequences. I just hope she won't stay mad for too long."

Rainbow pulled herself upright, chuckling a few more moments before she'd finally calmed down. "I don't know what you two mean. Spruce Almighty is a classic."

Author's Note

"Why not?"

"Besides it being a terrible idea? The universe would probably collapse in a matter of seconds. Divinity isn't a toy, Dash."

(I was going to call this chapter "Divine Inspiration," but I thought that would be too much of a spoiler. For those of you who don't get the joke, Bruce Almighty is a story about a man (Jim Carrey) who God (Morgan Freeman) endows with all of His powers. The man then proceeds to learn the mantra of Spider-Man.)

Criffleball, by Masterweaver

"Helloooooooooo sports fans! Welcome to the first Criffleball tournament! I'm Spot On."

"And I'm Smooth Voice. Well, seems like we've got quite the line up here, don't we Spot?"

"Indeedily do. Not only do we have the Canterlot Cardinels, the original inventors of Criffleball, we also have their rivals, the Crystal Catfighters, and fourteen other teams from across the country."

"The Cardinals and the Catfighters have agreed to start at opposite ends of the brackets, for sake of fairness, and--ah, here come the Cardinel's first opponents, the Appleoosa Apricots."

"I can't begin to tell you how much of a challenge the Apricots are going to face, they've always run a solo-caster lineup and that will make it near impossible to counter Rainbow Dash's excellent sweep-play. Still, they're a strong team overall."

"The players are moving into position. Hold on. That's new."

"Indeed. The Apricots have abandoned their usual seige-form for a spread out. No idea what they're thinking."

"Could be aiming to rush. And there's the whistle! They're off!"

Author's Note

This should've gone up last week. My bad. :twilightsheepish:

In any case, Masterweaver describes Criffleball as "a combination of dodgeball, tug of war, and rugby played in three dimensions with magic thrown in." Rules and terminology can be found here. I'm sure the video games are already in development in the Oversaturated World.

Divine Comedy, by CrossRedstone and FoME

(CrossRedstone)

“—and it was going just fine! How should I know the cloud would discharge a lightning bolt, roasting our TV?!” Rainbow Dash complained, finishing her story.

The other girls, even Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, could only facepalm at their friend’s latest attempt of a prank. Apparently, the rainbow haired girl thought it would be a good idea to wake her father up with a raincloud. Only this cloud had been fully electrically charged and well, the results spoke for themselves.

“Honestly, Rainbow Dash. Did you even consider what you could have done with your carpet?” Rarity chided. Everyone looked.

“What?” Rainbow deadpanned. “The carpet?”

“Why, yes! Don’t you know how easily it can be damaged, when—” That was as far as Rarity got, when suddenly the window to the music room was broken from an outside force, which came in form of a red and yellow blur. Everybody jumped in surprise, letting out various shrieks, their gazes fixed on the spot where the blur landed. As soon as the dust settled, they saw it was their friend and now goddess Sunset Shimmer lying on the ground, eyes unfocused and letting out groans of pain.

“Urrgh, the pain… is real…”

“SUNSET!” Everyone exclaimed, rushing to her side.

“Can you hear me?”

“Are you alright?”

“What happened?!”

“Doctor, we need a doctor!”

“Stop!” Sunset shouted, before her friends got any more hysterical. She pushed herself up from the ground and dusted off her clothes. “I’m fine girls. See? No bruises.”

The girls were of course relieved to see her okay, but that still begged one question.

“What in Tartarus just happened?!” Twilight exclaimed. “What did you do?”

Sunset shook her head, some glass shards falling out of her hair. Upon noticing the damage she did, she fixed everything, before telling the girls.

“Well, I came up with a few of my own theories of Pinkie’s... let’s say unique magic.” Everybody flinched immediately. “H-hey! I took all necessary precautions! I put myself in a dimensional space pocket, put a dimensional space pocket in the space pocket, repeated the process four times, got myself some survival gear and a helmet.”

“A helmet.” Twilight deadpanned. “And what was the survival gear for?”

“In case I landed in another dimension, where all magic is nullified for some reason.” Sunset explained. “Besides, it contained things I may have forgotten.”

“I can list two hundred fifty three.” Twilight stated.

“Moving on” Sunset made a gesture “in short, I couldn’t figure it out, so I came back and was just on my way to school, when I got hit by a car.”

….

….

“Wait, wut?” Applejack blinked. “Ya got hit by a car?!”

“Yeah, aren’t you supposed to know everything that’s happening and going to happen and has happened, has not happened, but happened anyway and might happen, if not mmmph, mm, mmmph…”

Rainbow put a hand on Pinkie’s mouth.

“You got hit. By a car. YOU of all people.”

“Well the experience was...enlightening. I now know how Pinkie’s magic works, having accidentally used it for the first time myself.”

Twilight teleported in front of Sunset, a crazy grin on her face and her hair looking just a little astray.

“Tell. Me. EVERYTHING!!”

“I-I-I’m not sure, Twi!” Sunset stammered. “That knowledge might prove to be-”

“TELL ME!!”

“Alright, alright, fine.” Sunset took a few steps back, breathing in and out.

“Okay here it comes. Pinkie’s magic basically is…”

Everyone looked at her in anticipation.

“Cartoon logic.”

(FoME)

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Well, duh."

Sunset blinked. "What?"

"I'm going to need more detail than— Hold on." Twilight glared. "You're telling me that you, the sole stabilizing influence on what is still a very fragile universe, performed an experiment that could've shunted you out of that universe?"

Sunset met her gaze with nary a flinch. "It would've been a very small fraction of my power and awareness. Besides, after all of my safety precautions, the odds of that happening were around one in sixteen trillion." She turned to Pinkie. "Now, what do you mean, 'duh'?"

"You have to admit, Sunset," said Rarity, "'cartoonish' is certainly one of the first words that come to mind when describing Pinkie's antics." The others nodded.

Sunset flushed. "In my defense, Equestria doesn't really have animation, and I was too busy feeling superior to the techno-barbarians to take in much pop culture before you all rainbowed some sense into me."

Twilight quirked an eyebrow. "'Techno-barbarians'?"

"This was back when I was queen bitch of CHS."

"Sounds pretty cool to me," said Dash. "Like a bunch of guys with titanium loincloths and chainsaw-axes."

"Remind me to tell you about Hyperspace Hyperwars some time," said Twilight. She turned to Sunset. "Now, if you could elaborate on what you meant by 'cartoon logic'—"

"Nope!" Pinkie interposed herself between them, an arm stuck out to either side. "You two are not having that discussion."

Twilight and Sunset looked over Pinkie's shoulder, each seeing a confused look on the other. "What?" said both.

Pinkie turned to face Sunset. "Think about it. You're basically a god."

Sunset looked away. "Only by certain definitions of the term."

"Someone hit you with their car."

"You're still on that?" Sunset rolled her eyes. "Look, the driver and the car are both fine, and I just bruised my ego. Plus, I did manifest in the middle of the road."

Pinkie nodded. "Yes. You, mistress of this world, popped in where you didn't mean to." She leaned in close. "This is dangerous magic, you're toying with Sunset."

"But—"

"Butts are for sitting. Trust me on this one. Leave. Comedy. To the professionals. Do you understand?" Pinkie's voice echoed with those last words, her eyes azure pools of light.

Sunset nodded, in a similar state. "Yes, Laughter."

Applejack cleared her throat. "Anyone else gettin' real creeped out?"

"I've got this." Twilight put a hand on each glowing-eyed girl's shoulder. "Alright, you two, snap out of it. You're flesh and blood, not intangible concepts." She gave each a shake for good measure.

Sunset blinked and shook her head, her eyes back to normal. "Right. Thanks."

"Good thing, too," Pinkie said, all smiles. "If I were an intangible concept, how could I eat cake?"

Paler Living Through Chemistry, by Masterweaver

"...which is when Mac walked in. Ya'll can figure out what happened next."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Well, I'll have a talk with Sweetie Belle, I can guarantee that. Oh!" She reached out and pulled a jar from the shelves. "I didn't know the De Lis company was making skin creams!"

Applejack snorted. "Rares, Ah don't think ya need any skin creams."

"That's kind of you to say, but as a designer in training I simply must keep up with the trends." Rarity flipped the jar in her hand. "Ingredients: acai, hydroquinbione, alpha-lipoic acid--"

"Hold up." Applejack took the jar. "What was that?"

"Alpha-lipoic acid. It's a natural part of biology, which--"

"No, no, Ah'm talkin' bout the hydroquinbione!" The cowgirl groaned as she read the label. "In a skin cream? That's just askin' for trouble."

Rarity blinked. "I've... never really heard of hydroquinbione before. Why are you reacting so strongly?"

"When Ah was a girl, there was a time where our money was hit hard. Ma and Pa bought some soap for me on the cheap--had hydroquinbione in it." Applejack gestured at herself. "Washed the chromelanin right out of me. Now Ah only got ordinary melanin."

"Oh... that would explain why you're so pale," Rarity mused, examining her friend. "...But you're still quite lovely, nonetheless!" she rallied quickly.

Applejack half smirked. "No need ta hide it, Rares, Ah know Ah'm a freak. Course, now Ah'm worried bout this skin cream."

Rarity nodded, taking the jar and putting it delicately back on the shelf. "I'll set up an online petition, get the De Lis company to know about this. Right now, we should talk to the manager..."

Author's Note

For those new to the term "chromelanin," you can read my dissertation on the subject here.

Also, hydroquinone is in fact a topical skin whitener.

Fighting Homonormativity, by Masterweaver

"So... hey."

A feeling of greeting.

"...Just so we're clear, you... used to be, uh... a necklace?"

Clarification. Plurality.

"Right, three necklaces, I heard. Um. So... My name's Spike."

Understanding.

"...You have a name?"

Confusion... then, reluctantly, sorrowful negative.

"Oh. How about.... Stonesong? I know it's not that creative but--"

Eager acceptance.

"Oh. Stonesong it is. How have you been doing?"

Sorrow, but tinged with hope. Curious probing.

"Me? Oh, I'm... well, still kind of coming to grips with myself, to be honest. I mean, I wasn't stupid before, I could get feelings and basic concepts, but now I can count and... understand abstractions. You know?"

Amusement, teasing.

"Yeah, yeah, but... you heard about the dolphins right?"

Negativity.

"Well, the dolphins were apparently always intelligent or, you know, at least borderline. With the burst of magic, though, they're finally able to talk and they're... doing politics now. And..."

Gentle, concerned probing.

"...Look, I'm the only thinking dog. At least, I am for now. But if it was done once, it will be done again, and... it's not just uplifts. It's constructed minds, and, uh, things like you that... act, even when humans didn't notice."

Understanding.

"I... I just don't want things to change, you know? I like being a dog, being a pet, but if I... if I become a citizen, that's... I don't know."

Comfort. Reassurance.

"Heh... yeah...."

Author's Note

"Thanks for setting this up, Maud."

"I'm very passionate about nonhuman rights. And rocks."

Cutting-Edge Technique, by ArtieStroke

Gilda grumbled as she grabbed the plastic bag and her receipt. The sun had barely risen as Gilda walked from the convenience store, heading home. It had become a small ritual: Get up at the crack of dawn, get enough to maybe last more than a week, and get home before anyone could see.

"Yo, G!"

Fate had other ideas this time around.

Gilda nodded her head as Dash jogged up next to her, "Hey, long time no see- what're you doing in this part of town, Dash?"

Rainbow shrugged, slowing down to match Gilda's pace, "Just decided to switch up my morning runs- what about you? It's like, WAY too early for you to be up."

"Errands," Gilda said, shaking the plastic convenience store bag. Rainbow quirked an eyebrow.

"Errands?"

Gilda groaned, "Jeeze, what're you my mom? If you really gotta know- I've been running out of razors," she said, pulling out a little plastic case of cheap PiNC-brand razors.

"I've been going through like three packs a month just for my legs," Gilda said as she stuffed the razors back, "It's super annoying."

Rainbow frowned, humming as she thought. "But... don't you have those, like, magic Wolverine claws now?"

"Yeah? Your point?"

"Well, what the heck do you need razors for anyhow?" Rainbow exclaimed, "You could totally like- do what they do in those old war movies! Except instead of a knife, it's a weird magic claw thingy."

"... Huh."

Gilda sat in her tub, staring from her hand, back to her leg, and repeating it a few times. She took in a deep breath.

Snikt.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Turns out shaving with a sharp, invisible force field was a bad idea.

Author's Note

See the link in the last chapter for more on griffon-aspected people. Suffice to say, their bottom halves have very active follicles.

And yes, PiNC also makes lighters and pens.

On the Fists of a Dilemma, by ArtieStroke

"Lunch monies!" Rover growled over the huddled trio of younger students. The ground rumbled next to them as his other two lackeys burst from the ground.

"Yeah! Lunch monies! Gives them to us!"

Sweetie Belle frowned, stomping her foot on the ground, "Oh, come on! This is hardly fair; you're like three grades held back compared to us!"

The three Diamond Boys looked at each other for a moment before bursting out in laughter.

"Not fair, she sayses!"

"She complains worse than her sister!"

A quiet voice cleared her throat behind them, causing all manner of heads to turn. Lily Longsocks, her purple pigtails flapping the breeze, stood behind them all.

"I think, um, maybe it would be better if you could, maybe pick on someone your own size?" She suggested, timidly but also with a hint of boredom. Rover raised an eyebrow, before nodding to Spot to take care of this interloper. The smallest of the trio of bullies stalked his way over to the girl, who just sighed.

"Okay."

To be fair, the punch didn't look like much effort was put behind it. The resounding "CRACK" and quickly fading scream in the distance said otherwise, and where Spot once stood there was a single, small and steaming fist.

The remaining two Diamond Boys blinked once, before holding their hands up and fleeing the scene with a terrified scream. Lily Longsocks looked at her fist for a moment, before sighing sadly.

"Just one punch, again..."

Author's Note

The talk of Dinky as Chibi-Usa got Artie's muse going along a similar theme.

For those unclear, Lily is the human analogue of the super-strong, hedgehog-marked filly from "Crusaders of the Lost Mark."

Glamourous, by Masterweaver

"...Hey Pinkie?"

"Yeah Applejack?"

The farmgirl pointed across the road. "Are ya seein' what Ah'm seein'?"

Pinkie followed her finger. "I'm not seein' what you're seein' if you're seein' somethin' strange. All I'm seein' is a guy leanin' against a wall seein' what he can see. Or she. It's an androgynous figure. Which isn't that odd these days. Why, what are you seein'?"

"...Well, he's got... pointed ears. And not like Rares, either, I mean," She made a gesture. "Woooooosh, you know?"

"Like Battleforge elves?"

"Um...?"

Pinkie pulled her phone out, tapping some keys. "Here. These guys."

"...Ya know, he actually looks a lot like that ta me. Ah mean, it's his eyelashes that are big, not his eyebrows, but--"

"Gotcha. You're seein' something I'm not. I know how to solve this." Pinkie pocketed her phone and pranced across the road.

"Wait, Pinkie, what—?"

"Excuse me, sir or madam! Are you currently or have you ever been under any enchantment, spell, or otherwise magical occurance that results in the alteration of your appearance to outside observers?"

The strange person looked at Pinkie. Applejack facepalmed.

"...Yes." The person nodded. "And now, I feel I must leave." They dissolved into sparkles and spiraled away into nothingness.

Pinkie stood there, staring at where they had been standing, up until Applejack joined her. "Pinkie, if somebody is tryin' ta be disguised, Ah don't think askin' 'are ya disguised' is goin' ta help the situation."

"Well, I wasn't expecting him or her to whisk themselves away like that! What was that all about?"

"Don't ask me! Ah don't have a clue!"

Author's Note

The only thing the fae fear more than total, complete honesty is laughter at their expense.

Sun and Stars, by Masterweaver

"Huh." Twilight flicked through her feed, before looking up from her smartphone. "Sunset?"

"Yeah?"

"Your followers are trying to legalize polygamy."

"Really?"

"Well, technically they're trying to legalize 'romantic groupings,' which covered polyandry as well, and they're getting a lot of help from the Wholesome, but... basically, yes."

"Why?"

"Apparently, since you're a pony, they've assumed your society follows social norms related to horses and practices... similar things."

Sunset considered this, and gave a shrug. "They're not starting wars over this, are they?"

"Well, no, but--"

"Then I'm cool with it."

Twilight blinked. "You... support...?"

"Twilight, to be honest, I couldn't care less how people express their love for each other. Love for me, sure, that's personal, but what goes on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom." She shuddered. "Trust me on this."

"Oh. Well..." Twilight coughed. "Um. Wow. Uh... I mean, you realize this kind of... if you ever started dating—"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Look, if it helps, I'll throw up a whole 'everyone in the relationship must agree to everyone in the relationship' speech on my next EweTube video, okay?"

"Yeah, that would help." Twilight chuckled. "I mean, a lot of people might want to court you due to, you know, the whole power thing, but nobody would ever look twice at me."

Sunset blinked, giving her an odd look.

"...what?"

"...Nothing." She shook her head. "Nothing at all."

"No seriously, what? Why'd you give me that look?" Twilight threw up her hands. "Is this about Sugarcoat? I'm pretty sure she's a statistical anomaly!"

Sunset stared straight ahead.

"What, you think that there are more Crystal Prep students that were secretly crushing on me?" Twilight snorted. "That's ridiculous."

Sunset said absolutely nothing.

"...Isn't it?"

Sunset very pointedly didn't mention the Society of Aspiring Sparkle Suitors meeting she had been invited to, or the thirty-something members who were present, or the large list of potential new members hanging on a wall.

"...Yeah, you're right. It's totally crazy."

Stark Reality, by ArtieStroke

"And with the final design for the thaumatic reactor being sent in for patenting, we can begin the industrial phase as soon as your return from Saddle Arabia."

Fancy Pants nodded, flipping through the fiscal notes of the current quarter, "Excellent news, Mrs. Spice, excellent indeed! I look forward to Fancy Industries finally getting more of a leg up in the new market for magical technology- hmm... remind me to schedule a board meeting for a portmanteau branding session."

"Yes sir, Mr. Pants," Spice said, jotting down a note. There was a small moment of silence before she spoke up again.

"Sir, I... may I voice some concerns?"

Raising his eyebrows in surprise, Fancy Pants, "I don't know what impression I gave that would suggest otherwise- I value your input highly, Mrs. Spice."

"Well..." She shifted a little, "I'm just a little worried- a technological demonstration in Saddle Arabia? And so close to the border with Tauros? To be frank, sir, it seems ill conceived."

Fancy Pants nodded, "Ah, is that all?"

He stood up, clapping a hand reassuringly on his assistant, "I assure you, I have taken every measure of precaution for this trip. Security detail, professional military assistance- I believe the common folk refer to it as "The Works", yes?"

"Yes, that sounds about right."

Fancy Pants smiled, "So, chin up! Nothing could possibly go wrong!"

"Billionaire philanthropist and magitech powerhouse CEO of Fancy Industries has been declared missing during a demonstration in Saddle Arabia," the news anchor declared. Snails blinked once, a spoonful of cereal dripping back into his bowl. He shrugged once, and went back to eating.

"Mom, your boss is on the news."

Author's Note

I get the feeling that Fancy Pants won't have nearly as many problems with alcoholism.

Set Your Preferences, by Masterweaver

Seven friends quietly ate lunch together. Five of them shared glances, awkwardly trying not to stare at the last two. There seemed to be an unspoken tension.

Sunset sighed, putting down her sandwich. "Okay. What is it?"

Rarity bit her lip. "It's... it's nothing, darling—"

"Girls, I'm literally relying on you to keep me from going megalomaniac. If you're not comfortable asking questions, then... how will you be comfortable telling me when I'm wrong?"

"It's not like that!" Rainbow Dash insisted. "It's... really, it's just nothing."

Sunset lidded her eyes.

"...Oh, heck." Applejack took off her hat. "Look, Sunset, back when this all started, ya... kinda mentioned you weren't attracted ta baldin' apes cause you thought of yourself as a unicorn. But now..." She trailed off.

"Wait, is this about me?" Twilight asked.

"Um." Fluttershy smiled awkwardly. "Maybe? It's really more about Sunset, and... neither of you have to answer if you don't want to—"

"Did your transformation into a semi-abstract entity responsible for monitoring the stability of reality affect your personal preferences?" Pinkie asked quickly.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Well it..."

She paused.

"...You know, now that I think about it... huh. I think I might be an asexual demiromantic?" She shrugged. "Or something. I don't know. I guess I'll figure it out..."

Author's Note

"You know, I did develop a bit of a crush on Princess Twilight before I met you. Maybe I'm just Twilightsexual."

"Sunset, if you really do love me, you'll never use that term again."

"Deal."

Work That Bodhi, by Tophe

The orderly rows of the Apple orchard looked neat, were an efficient layout, and tended to make people zone out while doing chores. So by the time Applejack noticed the strange new tree in this row, she'd raked almost right up to it.

She walked around, examining it from all sides. There was a sense of wrongness about it; perhaps Applejack's earth-aspect magic was warning her that this wasn't an ordinary apple tree. Or perhaps it was just the maroon bark, grey leaves, and disjointed variety of fruit growing on it (two pears, three bananas, zero apples, and a potato) that was giving that impression.

Applejack leaned on her rake, tilting her head, her hand on her chin. Eventually, the potato opened its eyes. "Are you enjoying yourself?" came a clipped Fillydelphian accent from somewhere in the tree's branches.

"Hi there, Mr. Discord. Should I ask what exactly yer doin' here?"

"Oh, just getting in touch with my arboreal side. It's the latest thing, or so I presume. Fluttershy's spent some time as a tree, one of Sunset's projections is a tree... I assure you, all the cool kids are in on this new craze. I simply had to see what all the fuss was about."

"That's nice and all. Could you maybe be a tree somewhere else, though? Yer messin' up the row, and I think the actual trees ain't comfortable around you."

"Oh, must I? I really thought this was a good spot. If there's any cosmic enlightenment to be gleaned from this new meditative technique, I'll have a better chance of gleaning it if people stop interrupting me every nine minutes."

"Hey now, I only interrupted you once—"

"Yes, sorry, you've been very polite." Mr. Discord's leaves rustled. "Unlike some people I could mention. The way my nieces reacted, you'd think we didn't have people around who can rebuild the NAHTI with a snap of their fingers."

A Glut of Rosy Pastries, by Jenna Cipher

No one in Canterlot could've expected it, and no one could've prepared for it. The first sign of trouble was the small tremors that occurred throughout the early half of the day.

And then the noises started.

funfunfunfunfun!

Fun, is this fun? FUUUUN!!!!!!!!!!

Entirely at random, people going about their day would hear the same word.

Fun.

By the time it became apparent that something was utterly wrong, it was far to late to do anything about it, for the partying horde was already upon them.

And then everything went pink.

Later that day, in the Canterlot High science lab, Sunset Shimmer attempted in vain to stop facepalming, while Twilight stood before her, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. Sunset, in between bouts of facepalming, looked at her friend and spoke.

"Clones... Why'd you have to try and invent a cloning spell..."

Author's Note

"What if I clone myself to clean up after th— Ow!"

"Thou shalt not clone."

"I don't even worship you."

"It's not a general commandment. I'm telling you to stop duplicating people. It never ends well."

Disturbing the Mountain Birds, by ArtieStroke

Blue Oyster frowned.

"No."

"But—"

"NO."

"But it's RIGHT HERE in front of us!" Ditzy pouted. Blue Oyster dragged a hand down her face.

"Listen, I was MOSTLY okay with modeling ourselves after Sailor Luna, and we even got a little more original with it later on! But this, THIS is just TOO FAR!"

"But it's not even a Sailor Luna thing, this is a totally different show!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!"

"Well, even if you don't like it, we still have to deal with it," Ditzy said, hefting up the oversized pearl marked with four stars, "I mean, we probably shouldn't let the other six fall into the wrong hands. Who knows what someone else could wish for with these things!"

"DITZY, YOU ARE NOT MONKEY KID AND THIS IS NOT DRAGON PEARL X! I swear to SCIENCE if we have to fight some weird, alien demon slug calling himself 'King Flute' or something, I am QUITTING THIS TEAM!"

"Alright, alright, no need to blow a gasket... 'Princess Vegetable.'"

And so the legend goes that Blue Oyster's screams could be heard in those very mountains near Neighjing to this very day.

Author's Note

I can neither confirm nor deny that Ditzy is herself the seven-star pearl. Assuming that this is even remotely canon. After all, God isn't a humanoid slug man, she's an extradimensional horse.

I'm not God.

You know what I mean.

He'll Save Every One of Us, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"Huh. Flash Sentry made the news."

"What, again?"

"Yeah, apparently he singlehandedly stopped a corrupt company from demolishing an orphanage using nothing but a slinkie, his guitar, and the power of apple pie."

"...Par for the course. Popcorn's ready."

"Ooo, good, movie's in two minutes!"

(FoME)

"Flash Sentry says he wasn't fully aware of what happened, but you were there with him. What can you tell us?"

"Well—"

Applejack put a hand over Pinkie's mouth. "No comment."

The reporter blinked. "But—"

"No. Comment."

Author's Note

Weaver's logic: "We don't use this character often so OBVIOUSLY he's having amazing adventures off screen."

Old Tarnish, by Masterweaver [Suggestive Content]

"Hey Shining?"

"Yeah Twi?"

"...Um. So, I just... I came back from miss Chrysalis's house—"

Shining Armor whirled. "What were you doing there?!"

"I was just asking how she took care of the Tauros situation!" Twilight squeaked. "I was worried there might, you know, be... loose ends."

The older man took a breath, and slowly let it out. "...she didn't... do anything, did she?"

"No. We just talked." Twilight glanced at the ground. "She seemed... reasonable. Not... aggressive, or... she wanted me to tell you she said hello."

"...oh."

"...Shining. How does she know you?"

Shining Armor sighed. "...You know, I really don't want to tell you, but... I know you'll go looking for answers if I don't tell you. You remember how I used to want to be an actor?"

"Yeah, you said it was the best chance you had to be a real world Ogres and Oubliette hero. And then you suddenly stopped and switched over to police work, because show biz wasn't... all it was cracked up to be?"

"I signed a contract, didn't... read it all the way through. And I panicked a little, but I decided to go through with the thing instead of, you know, going through the legal quagmire of backing out, and drawing the attention of Mom and Dad."

Twilight tilted her head. "What does that have to do with Chrysalis? The only stuff she's been in is..."

Her eyes widened.

"Oh. Oooooooh. Oh... uh... oh."

"Yeah, you may want to stay away from 'Sorceress of Estrogia' if you, uh, ever get the taste for... that sort of thing."

"Aheh."

"....I mean, Chrysalis was actually pretty understanding, but Cadence really doesn't like her because of that—"

"Shining, stop talking. Please. Just... stop talking."

Crimson Facets, by Jenna Cipher

"And the winner of the World Martial Arts Tournament, for the fourth year in a row is... Pyrrhic Victory, of Manehatten! Up next, post-tournament interviews. After that, we'll go to field reporter Jalapeño Olive for an interview with NEISA technomages Cookie Crisp and-"

The television promptly switched off, its viewer no longer interested in what was on. Said viewer was none other than Coco Pommel, earth-aspected fashion designer, devoted member of the Church of The Divine Bacon Horse, and most recently, weapons enthusiast, who now turned her attention to a workbench opposite the television on the far side of the basement. More specifically, what was on it.

"Finally, I've done it! They told me I was insane, that I couldn't make it fashionable. I say to them, behold, A MINIGUN THAT'S ALSO A PURSE!"

Sunset's head repeatedly connected with the cafeteria table as she looked down on the table at the newspaper article laying there.

"Yo, Sunset, whatchya dooiiinnn... Oh." Rainbow Dash suddenly understood her friend's frustration, having caught sight of the paper as well.

Church of The Divine Bacon Horse opens all-purpose private school, Bacon Academy, in order to train members to combat Angst Monster menace. Pope Ruby Rose appoints famous church missionaries Ounce Pin and Glimmer "Neighas" Goodwitch headmaster and vice-headmistress "Because they asked first".

The skittle-haired girl soon joined her friend in assaulting the poor table with her forehead.

Author's Note

I don't even know anymore. I still haven't seen Season 2.

Sassy Fae Friend, by Masterweaver

"...Something's different about you."

"Huh?" Zephyr looked up. "Oh hey sis! Yeah, that... whole thing with the tree, you know, it got me to rethinking my life. I mean, I just always assumed you'd be able to shrug off anything, but--"

"Not that." Fluttershy waved her hand. "Not just that. You're... more professionally dressed."

"Hmm? Oh." Zephyr adjusted his bowtie. "Yeah, I'm trying to reinvent myself. I have a job interview today, you know?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean it's just the local bookstore, but I figure everyone has to start somewhere."

"Well... I'm glad." She peered at him. "Have you shaved your whiskers off?"

"Oh, you noticed!" The boy rubbed his chin. "Actually, I... well, you see, I've met this girl. I mean I don't know if we're actually dating, but she's nice, she's friendly--"

"Huh. Do I get to meet her?"

"I mean, maybe. She's busy a lot, apparently she's the secretary to some court or other."

Fluttershy frowned. "How old is she?"

"Well... huh. You know, I never asked?" Zephyr shrugged. "I know she was kicked out of her home, but she has a job and I helped her find a place to live, so... I'm guessing, like, early twenties?"

"And you're thinking about dating her."

"Not like that! I mean, I wouldn't mind it, but she's just a friend right now. We meet up during lunch."

"Mmmhmm." Fluttershy crossed her arms. "Well, I'm certainly not against intergenerational friendships, but you should be sure she's not trying to take advantage of you."

"Hey, Winter Lights is very..." Zephyr paused. "Well, okay, she might. But not sexually. She's more, goal oriented, you know? If it helped her, she might ask for a few bucks. Nothing wrong with that."

Fluttershy narrowed her eyes.

"Seriously. She's a good friend, nothing more!" Zephyr sighed. "No matter what I try."

"...Just keep working at getting yourself put together," Fluttershy suggested. "And... good luck with the interview."

"Thanks, sis. Oh!" Zephyr glanced at the clock. "It's in thirty minutes. Gotta go!" He gave her a brief hug before rushing out the door.

Fluttershy smiled faintly. "...I guess he's finally growing up. I don't know what I was worried abo—"

Her eyes fell on the foyer table.

"...oh my."

Zephyr had left his icon pin behind.

Taking a Strange Turn, by Jenna Cipher

"Do we know why Doctor Turner has a copy of the Declaration of Independence with genuine autographs from the founders? And an actual photograph of President Platinum?"

Sunset tilted her head "No... Where did you see it?"

Twilight replied, "It was hung up behind his desk this morning, I compared the writing to pictures of the genuine article, as well as the copy at the Canterlot Museum of National History. It's real alright."

Pinkie chose now to give her own input. "Ooooh! I know! Maybe Doctor Turner is some kind wibbly-wobby timey-wimey aspected person, and the blue hourglass he always carries around is like a magic wand, ONLY A TIME MACHINE!"

The goddess in denial and the aspiring scientist looked across the table at their friend, who was smiling widely at her own idea.

"But... Whuuuuaaaaa."

Pinkie replied in her usual tone, "Meh, just a hunch."

Somewhere, on a spaceship being invaded by giant salt shakers, a time-traveling hourglass would've sneezed if it could.

Back in Canterlot, Sunset merely wondered where her friends came up with this stuff.

Author's Note

Emphatically not canon. Dr. Turner doesn't need any outside aids to walk through time. However, he also can't travel to back before Sunset changed the world. The paradox potential is too great otherwise.

Deluxe Bonbon, by SaintAbsol

Sunset really found it annoying just how many times she found herself beating her head against something hard.

It wasn't that it hurt; really, even in the unlikely event something could bypass her magical reinforcement and do serious harm to her physical body, she could replace it with barely a thought, and had done so more than once. It was just that, even after all this time, she couldn't believe just how many different ways the introduction of magic into the human world could lead to problems.

"Um... Sunset?"

"I'll be with you in a second, Lyra," she grumbled. "I'm still processing just how you could do something this stupid!"

Lyra winced, and rubbed at the back of her head. "It was... kinda a spur of the moment thing; what with the end of the year and all, and I... might have acquired something that was impairing mine and Bonbon's judgment at the time."

Sunset groaned, deciding to ignore the implications of that statement for now, and stick with the issue at hand. "And you can't remember the spell you cast at all?"

Lyra chuckled nervously, shaking her head. "W-well, like I said..."

"I know, I know..." Sunset groaned, and finally stopped beating her head against the wall of Lyra's house. "Okay, I think I can get this sorted, just give me a bit to sort out a few things."

Suddenly, the oversized head of Bon Bon, poked over the roof of her girlfriend's home. "Um... before you do that, could you magic me up something to wear? My clothes didn't exactly grow with me..."

And, yet again, Sunset's forehead became acquainted with the nearest wall.

Author's Note

For those of you who don't recall April Fools 2014:

Border of Succession, by FoME

Sunset smiled, relishing the beautiful day and the chance to enjoy the park without having to be her own space heater. "How's it going, Chrysalis?"

"You know what they say; 'In the spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.'" Chrysalis gave a throaty chuckle. "And so many of them had no idea what they were doing before joining the Wholesome. Isn't that right, Thorax?"

Thorax, a twenty-year-old so frail-looking that Sunset had had to actively keep herself from demanding his lunch money, swallowed and looked back and forth between the two deities. He scooted back until his back hit the tree they were sitting under. His trembling made his crystalline body rattle like wind chimes. "Why am I here again?"

"A rather interesting development in Equestria." Sunset pulled a photo out of a jacket pocket. "Seems that Chrysalis attempted a coup against Equestria."

The local Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "I'm not planning anything of the sort."

"I know. Though the coup nearly succeeded. The only one who managed to stop her was the local Thorax."

Thorax's jaw dropped. "What!?"

Sunset nodded. "Yup. Even overthrew her as ruler of the changelings."

Thorax paled until he was the shade of a clear sky. His capacity for shock visibly overloaded; there was even a small fracturing sound. Thankfully, no actual cracks were visible. "What."

Chrysalis smirked. "Should I be concerned?"

"No! Absolutely not! I would never even dream of—"

"That was a joke, Thorax."

"Oh. Okay then." Thorax took a few deep, slow breaths.

Chrysalis turned to Sunset. "So, what's the photo?"

"Well, apparently that world's Thorax revolutionized changeling biology as they know it and completely removed their need to feed on love. I think. Even he isn't sure. That includes the external biology. Take a look."

Sunset passed the photo to Chrysalis. After one look, she covered her mouth, sputtering and shaking with barely contained laughter. "Thorax!" she cried once she'd contained herself. "You need to see this."

He took the photo. After a few moments without a reaction, he shrugged. "I don't know. I think it looks pretty good."

"Don't even think about shifting to that color scheme."

"Yes, ma'am."

Author's Note

Given how the Wholesome aren't carapaced, I figured humanizing the Crystal Hoof persona was the best choice for EG!Thorax. And yes, there are crystal aspects other than Cinch; they're just one of the rarer ones.

Finger on the Button, by FoME

He wasn't much to look at. Skinny, short, hopeless in any social interaction that had to take place entirely in this reality. He had only stopped wearing the beanie last year, and he had yet to discover the icon that would presumably replace it.

"Come on! It's at one aitch-pee and it's asleep!"

He also wasn't that emotionally stable. And yet Sweetie Belle watched him with lidded eyes and gave a contented sigh.

Apple Bloom stared at her like she'd never seen her before. "I do not get it. Just what d'you see in him?"

Sweetie gave a slow grin. "It's not what I see in him. It's what I see for him."

Scootaloo tilted her head. "I thought you could only see the future if it was definitely going to happen and really important."

"Importance is relative."

Author's Note

And now a sample of the kind of silliness the fiction thread gets up to:

Destined to be the very best, like no one ever was.
To match them is her real test. To train them is her cause.
She will travel across the land, searching far and wide.
For future dates who'll understand the power that's inside.

(Chorus)
Perfect dates! Gotta match 'em all.
One each, you see. She know it's their destiny.
Perfect dates! One for each best friend
In a world they must defend.
Perfect dates! Gotta match 'em all
With hearts so true and courage to pull them through.
You pair me and I'll pair you.
Perfect dates! Gotta find 'em all.

Every challenge along the way with cunning she shall face;
She will battle every day to find their rightful place.
Seeking dates with her foresight. There's no better teen.
For her friends she'll do what's right; make sure they live the dream.

(Repeat chorus)

And yes, there is a second verse.

Stick to Your Principals, by FoME

Sugarcoat looked around from the rather crowded bench. "You have a nice park."

Lemon Zest nodded. "Yeah. Not much room for green in Crystal City."

"That's nothing!" said Pinkie. "We should show you Flutter—"

"Uh, maybe not." Rainbow Dash bit her lip. "Shy would probably appreciate her privacy right now."

Both Shadowbolts looked curious, but before either could ask, an older voice said, "Hello, girls."

Another said, "So nice to see you bridging the gap between the two schools."

Pinkie waved furiously. "Hi, Principal Celestia! Hi, Vice Principal Luna!"

"They're right there," said Sugarcoat. "They can see you."

"Yeah, but it's fun to wave."

That got a grudging nod out of Sugarcoat and at least a smile out of everyone else. "Have a lovely day," Celestia said, and the sisters continued their walk.

Dash watched them go. "Man, it's weird to see them out of school. I know they have lives, but I never really think about it."

Sugarcoat and Lemon traded a look. "You wanna say it, or should I?" said the latter.

"You'd say it more ridiculously—"

Pinkie's hand shot up. "I vote for Lemon Zest!"

Dash shrugged. "I just wanna know what you're leading up to."

Lemon looked to Sugarcoat. "Call that two and a half votes for me?" After Sugarcoat nodded, she turned to the others. "Okay, let me preface this by saying that I'm trying to be a better person, and I like to think I'm having a nonzero success rate there, but some things need to be said, and I've been holding this one back since the Friendship Games: Your principals are sixty percent leg by height. Their centers of mass are below their waists. The reason they constantly wear pantsuits is because any outfit that didn't have 'pant' right in the name couldn't hope to contain them. And at this point in the rant, I can safely assume that one or both of them is standing behind me." She turned to look.

Dean Cadence smiled. "Not quite."

"Huh." Lemon Zest considered her for a moment. "I'll be honest, I have no idea how boned I am right now."

"You? Not at all. Luna, next time we have drinks? We'll see."

It Ain't Broke, by FoME

"Hey everyone. I'm Sunset Shimmer, like you didn't know, and welcome to a very special installment of Magical Mayhem. I'm going to answer one of the most frequently asked questions I've gotten since I started the vlog. Yes, I'm finally addressing the elephant in the room: What happens to us when we die?

"I'm going to be honest: I don't know."

Sunset waited a beat, then said, "Odds are about half of you paused the video and are writing angry comments right now. Still, it's true. I really do not know what happens to deceased souls in this world. And yes, souls are real. I'd show you one, but that would entail taking it out of someone. Trust me, you do not want to see that. Not pretty."

"Cut, cut, cut!" Twilight frowned. "You're giving them ideas."

Sunset blinked blankly. "I am?"

"I know I'm a little morbidly curious."

"When aren't you?" Sunset sighed. "But yeah, you are our litmus test for this sort of thing. Should I just go with 'souls are real'?

"Sounds good to me." Twilight moved the camera. "In three, two..." She gave a thumbs up.

"And yes, souls are real. I can tell you those souls are definitely going somewhere after death. I don't know where because I haven't looked, and I haven't looked because whatever happens to them, it's working. I could do a twelve-episode series on all the crap I have to personally maintain to keep the universe going. I don't because I may not need to sleep at night, but that doesn't mean the rest of you shouldn't get to. My point is that I'm not messing with one of the few bits that's still humming along without my having to keep an eye on it. That's all I have to report on the subject. This has been Sunset Shimmer, your friendly neighborhood celestial mechanic." Sunset took a deep breath. "And cut. Think that'll help at all?"

Twilight shrugged. "Possibly. At the very least, your disciples should have a harder time condemning people to Tartarus. Was it true?"

"Every word. I suspect reincarnation's a thing, especially considering the principals' family tree, but with my luck, I'll manage to break the afterlife just by looking at it."

Author's Note

The Celestia/Luna situation isn't quite as ridiculous as, say, Principal Celestia's Family Reunion, but they are definitely old souls. And they aren't the only ones in this world.

Honest Effort, by Masterweaver

Applejack sighed.

"...Something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, no Sunset." She chuckled. "Well, nuthin' wrong that ain't been a problem for a while."

"If there's anything I can do to help—"

"It'll pass, trust me."

"...What will?"

The farmgirl chuckled. "Ennui. One o' the parts of farmin' I don't quite like talkin' about. You're off doin' yer goddess thing, Twi's sciencin' magic, Rares and Rainbow are collaboratin' on that fancy wingbow clothing... heck, even Fluttershy has her whole tree thing going. And don't get me started on Pinkie's nonsense."

"Are you... jealous?"

"...Maybe a little, but that ain't the problem. It's less that I want yer lives and more that... you know, I ain't gettin' some cockamamy adventure o' mah own. Now I know what I do is important," she added quickly, "and I know you're all mah friends, and... thing is, just cause I know this and I'm usually happy, that don't mean I don't occasionally long fer, ya know... somethin'. Some sort o' adventure or fame, all mah own. It'll pass, trust me, it comes and it goes."

Sunset nodded. "...You realize your little sister controls part of fate, right?"

"Yeah?"

"And she hero worships you to some degree?"

"...I mean, maybe, but we have our share o' squabbles—"

"I'm just saying," Sunset interjected, "if some of her dreams become reality, you might not want to rule that whole adventure thing out just yet."

Author's Note

"Plus, let's face it, normalcy is kind of hard to come by these days."

"Well, I suppose, but it ain't like somethin' weird's gonna come up just 'cause I said somethin'."

Converse Champagne, by Masterweaver

Sunset bit her lip as she knocked on the door. She practically cringed when it opened. "Hello, Mister Armor—"

"Twilight," Shining ground out slowly, "still has a hangover."

"...yeah. Um. I came to apologize about that—"

"As I understand it, you are the one responsible for that."

Sunset managed to put on a small smile. "Do you know, you're one of the few people that still manage to talk to me like this? All stern and disapproving and...."

Her voice trailed off under his glower.

"... Honestly I didn't realize it was illegal," she admitted. "Or that Twilight hadn't ever had alcohol; you see, Equestria is a more, um... medieval sort of place. Culturally, I mean, adulthood comes earlier, and... I screwed up. I get that, I'm sorry, and.... I am very, very sorry that... all that... happened."

"All that." Shining Armor nodded. "That's how you're going to refer to it. All. That."

"...Yeah."

"You're a role model now, Sunset. To an entire religion. And Twilight Sparkle, my little sister, is apparently part of that as well—"

"Shining, I'm already beating myself up enough. Can I just come in and make sure Twilight's okay? Before I get too caught up cleaning this mess?"

"Can't you do that from down here?"

"That would be rude."

"... Fine. I was just about to bring her some juice anyway."

Author's Note

Because instead of drinking stars, it's a star drinking.

Minister of the Interior, by FoME

Sunset sighed as she followed the rampaging designer who'd been let loose in her home. "You really don't have to do this, Rarity."

"Nonsense, darling. If you're going to be worshipped, we can't have you forced to be surrounded by furniture no one this side of the Saddlantic can pronounce." Rarity gave a significant glance to Sunset's small coffee table.

The other girl pouted and patted the table protectively. "Now you're just hurting Mörbylånga's feelings."

"My point exactly. And goodness knows you have a copious budget to work with."

Sunset folded her arms. "You told me to get that Benefacteor account just so you could give this place a makeover, didn't you?"

"I will neither confirm nor deny that." Rarity stopped by one of the few doors in the largely open building. "My, my, what have we here?"

"Rarity, don't—"

"AAAAAHHH!"

"Open... that." Sunset closed the door through telekinesis, then took hold of her staggering friend. "You okay?"

"I will recover. In time. A great deal of time." Rarity let Sunset guide her into a chair, then asked, "What exactly was that?"

"A gateway to the Astral Plane. You'd be surprised how often I need to pop in and out of it."

"You may want to consider a lock on the door."

"I don't usually have visitors, but you're right." Sunset sighed. "Sorry about that. I've been trying to decorate the place, but I only ever managed to change the background color once, and I haven't quite figured out how I did that. So it's stuck on orange."

"More of a burnt sienna," said Rarity, "in the sense that it incinerated my eyes!"

"You're never going to let me live this down, are you?"

"Not on your life."

Author's Note

Yes, that is the name of a table available from Ikea. I made sure to preserve every diacritic.

More to Love, by SaintAbsol (Suggestive)

"I must admit," Luna said, pointedly looking off in another direction. "When I first acquired these abilities, I was expecting quite a few situations like this; thus far, I have been pleasantly surprised by how few times it has happened."

"That's nice and all, Vice Principal Luna... but, could ya not do somethin' like this in the future?"

Luna risked a glance back, finding Applejack wrapped in a thick blanket that seemed nearly half an acre in size. "Dreams are my responsibility now, Applejack; and, in a world where thoughts can be projected into reality, to say nothing of your own abilities, making sure that dreams remain only dreams is a very important task." She hesitated. "Though... I will have to work out a better system for determining where my influence is needed... I would rather not be accused of unsavory acts with my students due to another incident such as this..."

"Eeyep..." Aj responded, the oversized girl's eyes darted around the dreamscape, as she kept a firm (albeit gentle) grip on the other figure hiding under her blanket at the moment. "You... um... you won't tell her about this, right? It'd make things really uncomfortable."

Luna chuckled a bit, turning away and walking toward a door that had appeared from nowhere. "The personal lives of my students are only a concern to me when they cause harm to others; your fantasies are safe with me, young Applejack." The door opened without Luna touching it, and she strolled though.

"Alright then," she heard AJ ask as she shut the door behind her. "Where were we?"

Author's Note

The author has requested that the identity of Applejack's blanket partner be kept indefinite, for fear of audience backlash.

All a Big Joke, by ArtieStroke

"I'm just saying—"

"Nope."

"Look, there's a lot of weirdos who'd pay some pretty big bucks—"

"Nope."

Rarity quirked an eyebrow as she sat down at the usual lunch table, Rainbow Dash and Applejack being the only other occupants at the moment.

"What in good heavens am I walking in on?"

Rainbow rolled her eyes, jutting a thumb at the farm girl, "AJ is being a TOTAL stick in the mud refusing to sell her freaky huge-body on the internet for some fun money."

"Ah," Rarity responded, idly twirling the spaghetti on her plate. Typical Rainbow-level antics, per usual, "Yes, I suppose that is so incredibly inconsiderate of her."

She smirked a little, as she brought the fork up to her mouth, "Although, she is allowed to make her own decisions. She is a big girl, after all."

Rarity savored the pasta for about two seconds before Rainbow Dash and Applejack simultaneously burst out laughing and groaned painfully, respectfully.

"F-for you!" Rainbow gasped between giggles.

Rarity merely patted AJ on the arm. "Come now, Applejack. Surely you can be the bigger person and forgive me my one indulgence?"

"Oh, for the love of—!" AJ leveled a glare at Rarity, but those faux-innocent eyes merely batted away the ire with fake lashes.

"Seriously, though," Rainbow said, getting control of herself, "lotta people could be into that sort of thing."

"On a theoretical level, I suppose Dash is right," Rarity said, "Something about a big, strong person there to protect you... I can see the appeal." Dramatically, she lay down across Applejack's lap, linking her hands behind the farmer's neck, "Oh, Applejack- hold me in your big, strong arms~"

For Applejack's part, her face went surprisingly red for someone with a dire lack of chromelanin. She unhooked Rarity's arms, stood up, and absconded without even a glance behind.

"Nope. Nope. Nope! Nope! Nope!"

Rarity and Dash both watched her leave, a little confusion written on both their faces. Rarity hummed, still stretched out over two seats with her head in her hand.

"Well, looks like we got too big for our britches, Rainbow Dash."

"Heh. 'Big'."

Author's Note

Dash's attitudes do not reflect those of the author or the compiler.

Two Pink Girls Yelling at Each Other, by Masterweaver

"PINKIE PIE!"

"LEMON ZEST!"

"I HAVE A CRAZY IDEA!"

"I WANT TO HEAR THIS CRAZY IDEA!"

"BREAD SHOES!"

"BREAD SHOES?!"

"BREAD BAKED INTO THE SHAPE OF SHOES! AND PEOPLE CAN WEAR THEM!"

"THAT'S POINTLESS AND DISGUSTING!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?!"

"I HAVE A BETTER IDEA!"

"YEAH?!"

"BREAD BRACELETS!"

"WOULDN'T THOSE JUST BE BAGELS?"

"I MEAN YEAH, WE'D HAVE TO MARKET THEM DIFFERENTLY, BUT IF WE DID IT RIGHT IT SHOULD WORK!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT?! LET'S DO IT!"

"YEAH! BUT WE SHOULD PROBABLY TALK SOMEWHERE ELSE! ALL THIS CONSTRUCTION IS WAY TOO LOUD!"

"YEAH WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!"

"THEY'RE BUILDING A NEW WING FOR EQUESTRIAN EXCHANGE STUDENTS, SHOULD START COMING IN OVER THE SUMMER!"

"OH NEAT! THAT EXPLAINS THAT COMPLICATED DOOHICKY OVER THERE!"

"YEAH, THAT'S THE EQUESTRIAN MORPHIC APPLICATOR! IT'S BASED OFF LYRA'S TORQUE!

"OH YEAH, SHE'S THE GIRL THAT'S SECRETLY A UNICORN RIGHT?!"

"ABSOLUTELY! AND THAT IS A RARE SENTENCE!"

"HEY, YOU THINK WE COULD HOTWIRE ONE OF THOSE CONSTRUCTION VEHICLES AND TAKE IT FOR A JOYRIDE?!"

"COULD, YES! SHOULD, ABSOLUTELY NOT! AT LEAST NOT WITHOUT SUPERVISION!"

"WHY DON'T WE WAIT TILL THEIR WORK SHIFT'S NEARLY OVER AND ASK THEN?!"

"OH MY GOD! I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT! PATIENCE MIGHT WELL BE THE BEST SOLUTION!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH PATIENCE HUH?!"

"IT'S MY CURSE!"

Author's Note

This chapter was named as it was by the author's request.

Night Dealings, by SaintAbsol

"Hey, Shining Armor?"

Shining looked up from the collection of DVDs that he was using as Sunset's indoct— er, education in the ways of geekdom. "Yeah, Sunset?"

"You keep bringing up how I need to have some sort of 'geekiness' to be a part of your family, and I'm willing to play along since that's what you do in a relationship... but, I have to wonder... aren't you and Dean Cadence in a relationship too?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Well, she doesn't really seem like the 'geek' type."

Shining raised an eyebrow at this. "... You really have no idea, do you?"

Far across town, Mi Amore Cadenza sat calmly in a dimly lit room in her best suit, hands folded together and her face hardened in a way that probably would have made Abacus Cinch proud. She gazed at the sharply dressed man across the table from her, who matched her nearly note for note; a tense silence was held between the two for several moments before he finally spoke. "Do you have my payment?"

"That depends," she responded. "Do you have what I asked for?"

The man simply reached down to the floor and picked up a small case. Placing it on the table, he pushed it toward Cadance before sitting back in his chair.

Carefully, Cadence undid the latch and looked inside. Her eyes widened by a fraction of a margin, before she closed the lid once again. "Very well then." She reached into her jacket's pocket, before withdrawing a fairly sizeable stack of money. "Your payment, at the agreed upon price."

The stack of cash was slid along the table into the man's waiting hand, something that might have been called a smile upon his face. "A pleasure as always," he said, standing up as Cadence did the same. "I trust you'll contact me if you require anything else."

"Of course," she replied, both turning away from each other and heading toward opposite exits to the room.

The latch was undone once more as Cadence walked outside, letting her gaze upon her prize with an almost manic grin. The object within probably held so little value to anyone else, but for her, it was worth every penny of the amount she had just handed over without hesitation. She found herself almost hesitant to touch it, even though it lay in a protective casing even within the box. "Finally," she said, gingerly grasping it at the corners, and holding it up to the light of day. "An Aleph Black Lotus."

Author's Note

As with many other MtG elements in this setting, I swear I had nothing to do with this one.

You Asked For It, by FoME

It was a fairly common scene. A man was so intent on his destination that he didn't watch where he was going and stubbed his toe on a jutting chunk of sidewalk.

His response was also common, or at least had become so since the world changed: "Ow! Sunset dammit."

What followed was much less common, a sigh followed by a voice saying, "Really?"

Corner Office scowled at the girl, only to back up a step when he realized just who she was. "Uh..."

"I mean," said Sunset, "I like to think of myself as pretty laid back. I much prefer forgiving and redeeming to trapping someone in a place they can't escape from, without certain aspects of life they've taken for granted. Speaking from experience, the first one works out a lot better in the long run."

"Uh..."

"And then there's the logistics of it. Even if I had somewhere I could damn people to—heads up, I don't—what would go there? The sidewalk? The tree whose roots are pushing it up? You for ramming your foot into it? There just doesn't seem to be a viable damning target here."

Corner licked his lips and decided a third uh wasn't the best way to converse with a deity. "Sorry?"

"It's fine. I know you didn't mean it, it just gets frustrating after a while. Also, smile."

"Why?"

Sunset panned a hand across the street, where at least half a dozen youths were glancing back and forth between the two of them and assorted mobile devices. "Because we're probably already on at least two forms of social media."

"I have over fifty reblogs already!" added one boy.

The Royalish Family, by Masterweaver

"So...."

"So?"

Rainbow cleared her throat. "So, you're not so distantly related to Principal Celestia."

Lemon Zest nodded. "Yes."

"So, you'd be familiar with their family tree."

"I would."

"So...." Rainbow cleared her throat. "I'm... wondering. Why exactly does she call Cadence her niece?"

Lemon took a long, quiet sip of her lemonade.

"...You really want to know."

"Yeah."

"Alrighty. I'll tell you. But you can't tell anyone."

"I'm fine, hit me."

"...Dean Cadance's biomom is actually Uncle John's daughter, but Celestia and Luna were her legal guardians."

Rainbow blinked. "O...kay?"

"You've got to understand, Screwball wasn't... isn't... she had some mental issues. And, uh, one of the doctors at the sanitorium took... advantage of that."

"Oh. Wow."

Lemon nodded. "Yeah. Uncle John and Aunt Abby were righteously pissed; they laid a legal smackdown. Screwball didn't want the baby to go away, she... I don't think she even really understands what happened, even this long after. Uncle John and Aunt Abby were too busy with work to raise the kid, though, so Celestia and Luna stepped in." She paused. "I think that's when Aunt Abby started to go really bad, actually. See the worst in everyone and try to force perfection. If I recall they actually divorced a couple years after that... would explain why Dean Cadance is so insistent on there being real love before sex, too."

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, that... that really had to wreck them, didn't it? Are you sure it's alright to tell me this?"

"It's all a matter of public record. As I understand it, most of the emotions have been worked through already. Not polite to bring it up, obviously, but they're not going to get on my case informing people about it."

The two of them sat in Sugarcube Corner, quietly contemplating.

"...I'm sorry, I just... there's a woman named Screwball?"

"Ianthe Pratibha Stencil Screwball Discord-Cinch." Lemon smiled faintly. "Not actually a terrible woman, just... a little disconnected from reality. I visit her sometimes..."

Author's Note

"Wait, doesn't that mean Cadence is your niece?"

"First cousin once removed. We try not to think about it too much. With my family, you get a lot of practice there."

Pieces of the Puzzle, by SaintAbsol

Niv-Mizzet calmly looked at three figurines before him, and eyebrow slightly cocked in an emotion some might have called surprise. "I must say, Vice Principal Beleren, this isn't something I expected from you."

Jace grumbled under his breath as he too observed the figurines. "I confiscated them from a student; that they lined up perfectly is just luck."

Niv-Mizzet, for once, elected to say nothing and simply turned back to the figurines as two glowed in red and green, while a third seemed to absorb the light around it. "Hm," he grunted, a hand coming to his chin. "Three down, two to go." His eyes drifted back to Jace. "I trust you have at least one hypothesis as to the identities of the final two, Vice Principal Beleren."

"I do," Jace responded, his eyes glowing blue as he eyed one of the figurines. "I will be investigating one after classes are done for the day. And I have high hopes I am on the right track."

"I see," Niv-Mizzet simply said, still looking at the figures. "You are dismissed, Vice Principal Beleren."

Jace nodded, and headed toward the office door; he still had to take care of some things to keep Ravnica High from tearing itself apart at the seams for the day. However, as he reached the handle, he heard Niv-Mizzet speak up on more time, likely forgetting he was still in the room.

"My Little Horsie figurines? Seriously?"

Author's Note

Fortunately, the series is almost wholly unlike the one we're familiar with beyond its broadest outlines. Otherwise it would just be silly.

The Gentry and the Upstart, by Masterweaver

"So... can you tell me how Winter Lights is avoiding me?" Sunset asked. "Because I kind of figured that to be impossible."

The short figure frowned. "Careful what you say, godling. To even speak to Fay is a rare boon."

Sunset Shimmer sighed. "I'm not a god..."

Seabreeze cleared his throat. "Miss Shimmer, ye not be understandin'. Fay have been keepin' out of sight for longer then there've been Fay. It be one o' our most precious secrets, ye ken? Ye knowin' where the links ta fae are is bad enough, but if'n ye knew how to see... many gods across the realms would much like that gift, and not all be pleasant."

The short figure glowered at him. "That much, at least, we can agree upon."

Sunset cleared her throat. "If I understand correctly, you'd still be imprisoned without Seabreeze's intervention."

"A debt between him and I, to be repaid by our own discretion." The figure drew his robes tight. "Already it has cost me much, but it is not your concern; keep to your world's affairs."

"But--"

"Lass, Fay politics are not fer the young," Seabreeze interjected. "I'll be fine."

Sunset looked between the two of them, and sighed. "Alright... I guess I can leave it be. So... about these bastions..."

"Yes, yes, the Fall Court is converting them to rings as we speak..."

Author's Note

Such a rude and presumptuous girl. Scarcely out of mortality, and already thinking she can coax timeless secrets from her betters. Perhaps we shou—

Hands off the keyboard and out of my chair! I have assorted metals and minerals and I'm not afraid to use them!

Frickin' parasites. I thought there was an unusual number of mushrooms this morning...

Casual Wear of the Gods, by FoME

Sunset legitimately liked Cool Topic. The usual customers were too busy being "ironically" disaffected to be awestruck. Plus, the idea of being merchandised had gone from embarrassing to genuinely amusing. "What do you think?" she said to Twilight, holding a shirt in front of her that was only a few shades darker than her skin.

Twilight took in Sunset's pleading face and clasped hands on the shirt, then looked at the caption. "Please Do Not Worship This Shirt."

"Too much?"

Twilight gave a fond smile. "I'm hardly an unbiased source when it comes to the question of too much Sunset." Her expression went lopsided. "Still, given how things are playing out, you may want to get seven of those. I'm pretty sure I saw someone bowing to me on our way here."

Sunset nodded, then checked the price tag. Her eyes widened and she whipped the shirt back on the rack. "Not at those prices, I'm not."

"Aren't you obscenely wealthy?"

"Yeah, and these shirts are obscenely expensive. Therefore, I can only afford one."

Twilight laughed and shook her head. "We're both hanging around Pinkie Pie too much. That actually made sense."

The next day, Sunset awoke to find a box on her front step. Within were seven "Do Not Worship" shirts and a signed apology from the manager of her local Cool Topic.

She facepalmed. "You know," she said to herself, "the worst part is that I really can't tell if they're missing the irony or deliberately ignoring it."

Driving Passions, by ArtieStroke

Flash sighed. It was the sigh of a lonely, broken heart. A sigh of a longing lover, lost without love.

It was a sigh that Brawly Beats was starting to get tired of.

"Flash, my dude, my man, my brother," Brawly said, taking a moment to stop testing his drums, "If you sigh one more time I swear to Harmony I'm ending this band."

"Huh?" Flash turned, snapped out of his depressed state by being addressed by name.

Brawly rolled his eyes. "Seriously! This energy you're projecting is a major bummer, man."

"He's got a point, mate," Ringo said, nodding as he tuned his bass.

Flash rolled his eyes. "Come on, guys. It's not—"

"If you say 'it's not that bad' I am ALSO gonna quit the band."

Flash frowned, "Well, way to be supportive friends, guys!"

Brawly groaned, getting up from his drums and placing a firm hand on Flash's shoulder, "Dude, we've been pals since, like, kindergarten, and I love you bro, but this is almost as bad as when your crush on Lyra didn't work out because she doesn't swing your way."

Flash's face colored a bit as he grimaced, "Oh come on, I had almost completely forgotten about that, dude! Now I'm gonna have to spend another five years repressing that!"

"Wait, hang on," Ringo set down his bass, and actually took off his shades for once, "You had a crush on Lyra?"

"Yeah, it was the most embarrassing part of seventh grade," Brawly said, chuckling as Flash sank further into his own humiliation.

"And... ain't she actually a pony too?"

Brawly immediately stopped laughing, and something approaching horror formed on Flash's face

"Oh, no."

"Plus, there's... well, you know. That pony princess what looks like the new girl. And also God."

"Oh, please no."

Brawly slowly lifted his hand off of Flash's shoulder, discretely wiping it on his pants.

Ringo shrugged. "All I'm saying is—"

"Ringo?"

"Yeah?"

Flash looked his bassist in the eye, and for a moment Ringo thought he saw an emotion that rarely showed itself in Flash. A glint of red fury that chilled him to the bone.

"If you say another word, then I am quitting this band."

Ringo flipped his shades back one, hurriedly going back to tuning his bass, "You got it, boss!"

Author's Note

It's okay, Flash. There's no shame in having a type. Even if that type is unicorns from another universe.

It Was Going to Happen Eventually, by EonAon

A loud echoing boom resounded through Canterlot High. Most folks looked up and resumed what they were doing, considering it was a Tuesday. They all knew they would eventually find out what made that noise, especially on a Tuesday.

A pink blur ran through the hallways searching for the only one that could right this terrible terrible circumstance.

"Sunset, come quick! You have to help us in the NAHTI facility!"

"Why? What happened, Pinkie?"

"I was helping Mr. Discord in the NAHTI with some experiments and well a little bit of LAUGHTER seeped out and we blew out the walls.

"Annnd this concerns me how? I know Mr. Discord can put a few walls back with a literal snap of his fingers."

"Normally, yeah, but one of the walls we broke, Mr. Discord cant seem to touch."

"... How is that even possible? He can do nearly anything except organize his sock drawer with his powers. What possible thing can a simple wall do to prevent him from fixing it?"

"Well, the first wall was easy, but now it seems to be brick instead of cinderblocks. The second turned out nicely but the plaster and lathe seems be gingerbread and frosting. The third is pretty much back to normal but seems to have a door that goes anywhere."

"Wait, anywhere?"

"Anywhere on Earth apparently. There's sort of a dial on the door that you turn and it randomly opens up one of five thousand preset areas. I think I'm gonna book a trip with the travel agency Mr. Discord plans to open up for Spring Break."

"O... kay, but that still doesn't explain why I need to fix a wall."

"Oh! Well, when he tried to fix the fourth wall nothing seemed to happen. He snapped his fingers five or six times and nothing would appear. Apparently when he looked closer at the underlying substrate he found it became too self-referential for him to affect, so he asked me to get you for help. He said something about a Sue."

"I still don't know why I should make a wall for you. I mean, if he can't make it, I know that Principal Celestia has some mortar and bricks for him."

"Nope, it can't wait that long! The wall has to be built before next period or else we're all doomed!"

"It's just a wall, Pinkie! As long as it's not load bearing, I don't see why we need to replace it right now."

"That wall is also the one that connects to the back of the girls' locker room, Sunset. Gym classes are a thing."

"... Next time, Pinkie, lead with that. I'll be right there to fix that fourth wall."

Author's Note

Sunset never could get the hang of Tuesdays.

Breathtaking, by SaintAbsol

"Mooooom," Dinky Doo whined as she walked along beside her mother. "You said you had something to show me and we've just been sitting here for forever!"

"It's been twenty minutes, Dinky."

"Same thing!"

Ditzy sighed, shaking her head slightly. Ever since Dinky had (almost literally) popped into her life, the high school girl had developed a newfound respect for her parents and just how hard it had to be raising a child. Granted, they were more than understanding about the unusual situation with Dinky, but there were still times that she really wanted to punch her future self in the face for sending Dinky back in time, regardless of the reasons.

However, she had been working on getting everything right for what she was planning for a while now, and Dinky's impatience wasn't going to stop her now. "Just a little bit longer now, dear."

Dinky grumbled as she adjusted her coat. The air was growing cold as winter approached, and the sun starting to set meant what heat there was had already begun to fade. She eventually just sighed out in frustration, watching her breath condense in the air.

Suddenly, Ditzy's hand shot out and actually grabbed the tiny cloud. While Dinky watched with wide eyes, Ditzy's hands worked the cloud like clay, forming it into a heart as she smiled at her daughter.

"How..."

"Magic," Ditzy said with a smirk, letting the heart float free. She breathed out her own cloud, gathering it in her hands as she concentrated, her eyes faintly starting to glow as she worked and shaped the cloud into a rabbit. Finally, she let it go, and it actually hopped around in the air, much to Dinky's delight.

Ditzy smiled as she watched her daughter reach out and pet the cloud bunny. It hadn't been easy to master this little trick, but the look on Dinky's face made it all worth it to her.

Author's Note

:derpytongue2: "There. Now in order to preserve this moment, I'm going to have to never show Dinky this trick before I send her to this time. Suck it, future self!"

This Anthology in a Nutshell, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

"....You cannot be serious."

"I'm totally serious."

"You. Can not. Be serious."

"I. Am totally. Serious."

Twilight threw up her hands. "Why?! Why does your world have this thing for bad puns?! First it was the timberwolves, then it was the fruit bats, and now..." She gestured at the lagomorphs scrawling cryptic messages over the laboratory walls. "Now it's plot bunnies?!"

Fluttershy nodded, fluttering her wings. "They're a cyclically endangered species."

"How does leaving strange lines help with their survival?! What is even the point?!"

"It's mostly a symbiotic relationship. They help develop ideas and, in turn, get protection from their predators."

"Oh, let me guess, writer's blocks?"

"Uh, no." Fluttershy gave her an odd look. "Wolverines."

"Right."

"Writer's blocks have a completely different habitat."

Twilight facepalmed. "Of course they do."

(FoME)

A deep, almost lowing "Mowr" drifted through the castle's windows. The plot bunnies shuddered in unison, then scribbled all the faster.

Fluttershy blushed. "Though I do have one."

"Of course you do," groaned Twilight. "For the sake of my own sanity, I'm not even going to look."

"That's probably for the best."

Author's Note

With due credit and apologies to Dan Shive.

An Autumn Complication, by FoME

"I still can't completely believe that the seasons change on their own in this world," Sunset said as she entered Canterlot High, trailing a few fallen leaves behind her.

Twilight grinned alongside her. "I can't believe that ponies actually industrialize weather!"

"Hey, factories on this end affect the weather too. Cloudsdale just does it on purpose."

A gentle "Good morning, girls" cut through the resulting giggles.

Both turned and said, "Good morning, Flu—" They both stopped, mouths hanging open, glancing at one another. Volumes of unspoken communication passed between them, only some of it telepathic.

Fluttershy gave a slight frown. "Is everything okay?"

"Well..."

"You see..."

"Fluttershy!" Rarity sent the other girls sprawling as she charged past them, eyes only on Fluttershy. "What happened to your hair!?"

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? What do I mean!? Your lovely locks are going positively gray!" Rarity held up some of the fading tresses to emphasize that. Several hairs snapped off in her grip, making her shriek and jump back.

"Oh, right. Well, it is November."

"Are... are you implying that you will go completely b-bald all winter?"

Fluttershy shrugged. "I suppose. But it's just hair. My feathers don't seem to be affected."

"Just hair!?"

Twilight and Sunset watched as Rarity planned an entire line of wigs in her outrage. "Am I ever this bad?" said Twilight.

The embodiment of, among other things, Honesty, bit her lip. "You're differently bad?"

The flat look Twilight gave her said everything.

Attorney at Flaw, by ArtieStroke

Author's Note

So, yeah, this one should've gone up last week. My bad. :twilightsheepish: In any case, it takes place a bit before "Caught Shipping."

Attorney at Flaw, by ArtieStroke

"So, uh," the young, blonde man squeaked out, sweat pouring to his brow in the courtroom, "As you can see from my, uh, this evidence here... the defendant should be—"

As Gilded Arches rambled on, Applejack's face slumped to the wooden defendant's box. This was a disaster.

A moment later, her "lawyer" took a seat next to her.

"I'm doomed," AJ muttered.

Gilded nodded. "Yeah, probably."

She turned to him, frowning just a little, "Ain'tcha supposed to be some sort of legal wiz kid? Your pope was singing yer praises just a few days ago."

"Listen," he said, voice rising a couple octaves, "there's a difference between going to law school and forging your parents' signature on a school form."

Applejack stared, slack jawed, at Gilded for a moment.

"Are y'all telling me you're not actually a lawyer?"

"I just... everyone seemed so proud of what I did know how to do; I didn't want to let anyone down!"

"I could have just gotten an actual lawyer."

"... Yeah."

Applejack's face thumped to the desk a second time.

She was doomed.

Unbonded Elements, by FoME and Masterweaver

(FoME)

The Canterlot Mall was not, despite its name, the only mall in Canterlot. It was the first, one of the largest, and in this age of e-commerce—and the first speculative whispers of m-commerce—the one least riddled with unoccupied storefronts.

It also had what CHS almost universally held to be the best food court in the county, though no one would’ve guessed that by the expression of the girls at one table, or how they picked at the remnants of their lunch.

Pinkie slurped at the melting ice cubes in her cup, groaned, and slapped her face down on the table. “Boooored!”

Dash scowled. “Could they have at least called us or something?”

As if in response, a noisemaker and a bird call sounded out. Pinkie and Fluttershy checked their phones. “Twilight and Sunset just did,” said Pinkie.

“So did Applejack and Rarity,” said Fluttershy. “They—“

“Let me guess.” With a twist of her wrist, Dash curled her hair into a fair facsimile of Rarity’s, then faux-swooned. “Oh, dearest, darling Applejack, I’ve been so very lost in your gorgeous eyes that I’ve gone and made us unfashionably late! Let’s send our friends some lame excuse and get back to what really matters, each other!” The curl undid itself as Dash crossed her arms and scowled. “Gag me.”

Pinkie gawked at her. “How did you do that?”

Dash gave her a flat look. “You of all people don’t get to ask that question.”

“… Yeah, that’s fair.”

“How did you do that?” said Fluttershy.

“Rarity knows how I feel about beauty stuff. When she bothers to give me hair goop suggestions, I know they’re worth checking out.” Dash leaned back, glaring up at the ceiling. “Though all she’s checking out these days is Applejack.”

After a moment, Fluttershy said, “You’re not jealous, are you?”

“Of them?” Dash shrugged as she resettled herself. “I’m happy they're happy, I just wish they remembered that the rest of the world’s still here.”

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah, no-shows are never fun.”

“As for Twi and Sunset…” Dash sighed. “Okay, a lot of the time, they really are working on something really important, but sometimes I have to wonder. But it’s not just that.”

“What is it?” said Fluttershy.

“There’s almost this…” Dash shrugged. “I don’t know, just this look people get around us lately. Like they’re wondering which of the three of us will end up together.”

“What?”

“Us?” Pinkie looked around, as if looking for other girls to ship. ”Really?”

“We’ve got a religion half-worshipping us. We’re kind of a big deal.” Dash managed a cocky smirk for a few seconds before going back to her previous disgruntlement. “Besides, you don’t spend as much time in a locker room as I do and not pick up on some gossip. Heck, the field hockey team’s got a betting pool going.” She gave a bitter laugh. ”Cloud Kicker even put five bucks on us ending up in some kind of long-term threesome thing.”

The others’ jaws dropped. Pinkie choked out a “Seriously?”

“Seriously. She’s lucky she’s not still running laps. No offense, but being with Fluttershy would be like dating my own sister, and Pinkie…” Dash shook her head. “Yeah, I don’t know if even I could keep up with you.”

Pinkie nodded. “I know. Sometimes I can’t keep up with me!”

“I know I couldn’t,” said Fluttershy.

“Does anyone here even like girls like that?” added Pinkie.

Dash shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to the betting pool.”

After a few moments of thoughtful silence, Fluttershy said, “I think we should talk to the others about this.”

“What, the school shipping us or them leaving us hanging?” said Dash.

“Both.”

“Yeah, probably.” After a moment, Dash turned to a strangely quiet, contemplative looking Pinkie. “You okay there, Pinkie?”

“I think so? I just have this sense that we’re making a lot of people really sad, but I can’t tell who.”

“Hey, it’s not like we aren’t friends anymore. Whoever wants to see us do romantic junk will just have to suck it up.”

(Masterweaver)

"Or bribe the Wholesome to film custom videos," added a passing Lemon Hearts.

Rainbow Dash paled. "Oh no. No no no no—"

"Relax." Pinkie grabbed her shoulder. "Chrysalis has told her children not to film themselves imitating anyone. And she can enforce it too."

"Oh good." Rainbow frowned. "Wait, how do you know—"

"I may not be allowed to join until majority," Pinkie said primly, "but nobody said anything about research."

"True," Fluttershy said.

Rainbow stared at her. "Wait, you're thinking of joining?"

"The sexual aspect doesn't appeal to me," Fluttershy admitted, "but the social tolerance and attempt to help everyone is sort of my speed, you know?"

Author's Note

I don't want to shut the door entirely on pairings between these three, but they've wanted to have this conversation for some time, and Pinkie more or less twisted my arm until I put it up in a publically viewable format.

The Best Medicine, by EonAon

The Rainbooms' typical practice room rang out with their music. Between songs, Rainbow Dash said, "Hey Pinkie, are you feeling okay?"

"Why are you asking, Dashie?"

"Well, I saw you outside Canterlot General last weekend, and well, you're never sick."

"Oh, that. Don't worry Dashie, that was me testing out a idea I got from one of those old sayings you hear all the time."

This caught the attention of all the other Rainbooms. Sunset asked "What saying is that, Pinkie?"

"Well, I wondered if Laughter really is the best medicine, and it turns out it is! I gave the children's ward some entertainment, and encouraging them helped them about seven percent across the board."

"How can you tell that?" said Twilight. "Did you have a control group? Multiple trials? Seven percent of what?"

Sunset smiled. "Twilight, you're doing it again."

"Being obtuse or overthinking Pinkie Pie?"

"Yes."

Pinkie giggled, then said, "Also, the only thing negative about me is my blood. I'm an O negative donor and they always need that."

Author's Note

You realize I'm going to analyze this.
I know. Just remember the last time we tried to study Pinkie Pie.
How could I forget? I still have the burn scars.

Here There Be Legends, by ArtieStroke

"So, I've been meaning to ask something," Ditzy said, one eye on her homework as Kikai perked up.

"Hmm?"

"So, obviously the Munarin and Vaucoi were... involved in the past? With Earth and stuff, I mean."

"To certain degrees."

Ditzy tapped her pencil to her chin, "So... were there any other, uh, aliens that...?"

Kikai nodded, "Yes, a few, though I must admit, not all of them were the savory sorts," she said, shuddering.

"Yeah?"

"Well, there was one empire in particular, though I must again admit, having gone through the tragedy of losing their home world, I can see why they might have lashed out so much."

Kikai looked up, Ditzy now sitting at the edge of her seat, staring with rapt attention. Kikai cleared her throat.

"The Empire of Bahamut. Incredibly strong warriors, if rather too fond for battle for my taste. Their world was unfortunately lost; official records at the time stated that their sun went through a premature supernova. Aside from their strength in combat, they were surprisingly genetically malleable. There were very few cases where a Bahamatian couldn't pass their power along with another sapient species."

"Huh. I think there's a myth about a dragon named Bahamut on Earth."

"Yes, the very same."

The five seconds of silence that stretched between them seemed to last an eternity.

"...You know, at this point I probably shouldn't even be surprised that dragons were actually aliens."

Author's Note

Ditzy tapped at her phone for a few moments. "Huh. It says here the original, mythological Bahamut was a giant fish."

"Indeed. The Bahamatians exploited their genetic malleability to the utmost. Some of their ships were not built, but hatched."

"That is disturbing on multiple levels."

Crepuscular Ray, by SaintAbsol

"I don't know about this, Fluttershy..." Sunset tended to try and project an air of confidence; both as a reflex from her days as undisputed queen bitch of the school, and now that she had to make it clear she (mostly) knew what she was talking about now that she had to oversee the world. However, around her friends, that facade had a tendency to crack and cause her to slip back into more human-like habits.

In an odd way, she was grateful for this, but it didn't make the fact Fluttershy of all people was pushing her through the doors of the animal shelter any more normal. The fact she could barely remember how they had gotten from the school to here didn't help.

"Don't be silly, Sunset. Pets are wonderful, and I'm so glad you decided to get one!" Sunset was really starting to get a bit disturbed by how often her friends could pull Pinkie Pie-like expressions, and had to repress a shudder over the idea of trying to work out why that was.

With a slightly slump of her current avatar, Sunset just sighed, deciding to go through with what was really just an idle conversation before this.

"Okay," she said, finally stepping away and glancing around the various enclosures. "Don't expect too much, though, most animals don't really—"

Space suddenly cracked as Sunset moved with such speed that physics was left spinning and her more godlike consciousness was forced to repair a hole she herself had made, blushing in extreme embarrassment and preparing the transcendent equivalent of a rolled-up newspaper. As for her avatar, she had her face pressed against the glass of a reptile enclosure, almost shining with energy and sporting a Pinkie-esque grin of her own now. "He's soooooo cute~" she squealed, eyes locked on a tiny leopard gecko who was looking back at her with mild interest.

Fluttershy chuckled knowingly behind her. "I'll get the paperwork."

Author's Note

As SaintAbsol rightly noted, it's kind of criminal that we never did anything with Sunset's pet before now.

And Every Guild in its Place, by FoME

When Wallflower got off the bus on her first day at Ravnica High, she was relieved to see White Hat waiting for her. "Nervous?" said White once Wallflower walked up to her.

"A little, but you answered a lot of my questions before now. There's really just one thing I don't get."

"Shoot," White said as they walked towards the closest entrance.

"Most of the guilds do something for the school, but from what you've told me, the Gruul just seem to skip class and hit things." Wallflower tried to indicate a flannel-wearing boy lounging against one wall without drawing attention to herself. "Why are they even around?"

"For one, athletics, especially football. The stereotypical Ravnica High football team is a Boros quarterback and twelve Gruul."

"Aren't there only eleven players on the field at a time?" said Wallflower.

"Okay, ten Gruul," White said, smiling despite rolling her eyes. "I never claimed to know everything, just everything that matters."

Wallflower giggled. "Anything else?"

"Lately? Well—"

A chilling sound rang out across the campus, a roar that couldn't be made by anything that lived in a sane and sensible cosmos.

Even less sane and sensible sounds came in response:

"Dibs on the skull!"

"You always get the skull!"

"CRUSH THEM!"

White smirked. "Lately, they've been very helpful as... security."

"Ah," said Wallflower, her whole body tingling as feeling came back after her fearful paralysis. "That actually explains a lot."

Author's Note

Who better when the occasional angst monster comes calling than students who pick fights with buildings?

Present Concerns, by FoME

I am.

The past is a pattern of cells and chemicals. The future happens to someone else. I exist only in this moment, the perfect, eternal now.

I throw a punch, and I have spent my entire life directing my fist forward.

I block a strike, and I am born and die in the act of defense.

I ache, and it is meaningless, for I have never known a time without that pain.

I raise my arms in a victory that knows no beginning or end.

"Scootaloo? Scootaloo!"

I blink, and I remember how time works. Mostly. "Huh-wuh?" I stagger as feelings flood me. Even blood flowing through me feels weird when I've been existing between heartbeats.

"Oh, come on! That was totally magic," says my opponent. I don't know her name, but the dark red and blue leotard marks her as a member of the Crystal Prep MMA team. "She was in a trance, for Sunset's sake!"

"I'm right here," Sunset says from outside of the ring, "and I can confirm that Scootaloo didn't use any prohibited techniques."

Coach Will nods what I still can't help but think of as his weird, knobby head. "As Iron Will was saying, Scootaloo is the winner!"

Sweetie smirked. "Pay up."

Tender Taps groaned as he fished out a few bills. "Why? Why did I think it was a good idea to bet against someone who can see the future?"

"Didn't even need to."

"But that girl had six inches on Scootaloo," said Button Mash.

"Yeah," Sweetie said as she slipped her winnings into her purse as smugly as possible. "But she's Scootaloo. Isn't that right, Rumble?"

"Huh?"

Apple Bloom waved her hand in front of Rumble's face. "You doin' okay there, loverboy?"

He flushed and wiped away the drool. "Yeah. Sure. Fine. When's the next whatever this is, again?"

"She'll probably wear the leotard for you if you ask nicely," said Sweetie.

Rumble said nothing, only reddening further.

Close to the Vess, by ArtieStroke

“So, when is the wedding?” Cadence asked, innocently sipping her drink. Jace gave her a flat look.

“She’s doing most of the planning. I would rather keep it a low key event, actually. Still haven’t forgotten the last time you meddled in my love life.”

Cadence grimaced, while Luna let out a small “Oof.” Glimmer looked between the three of them, quirking an eyebrow.

“Pardon?”

“In my defense, she did seem quite into you,” Cadence said, holding up a finger, “And I wasn’t aware of some of her... other interests.”

“Pardon?”

“A mutual acquaintance of ours, Lily,” Luna quickly explained, “She had some... very specific tastes, if Jace’s stories are to be believed.”

“Which they are,” Jace interrupted, “She’s an absolute menace, and I should have listened to Nissa when she said she had a bad feeling about...”

Jace’s statement fell short as he stared at the TV over the bar. The other three turned to look as well as the news ticker scrolled by: Incumbent Goodman (R) Gives Post-Victory Speech. The man was massive, his well-groomed golden hair shimmering in camera flashes. Standing right behind him, in a prim plum suit, was a unicorn aspect woman with pale lavender skin and long, raven hair pinned back with a similarly golden clip.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Jace muttered.

Cadence frowned. “Wait, when did she start working in politics?”

“That’s his ex?” Glimmer almost squawked out, eyes widening behind her glasses.

Jace slumped back into his chair. “I’m going to need three more real ones,” he said, grabbing his coffee and slugging it back.

Author's Note

Nicolas B. Goodman is very clearly unrelated to any ancient dragons whatsoever. Any allegations to the contrary are just silly, if not downright insulting.

Shine Forth, by Speckle

Shortly after the lunch bell rang, Abby decided that she couldn't wait anymore. As she followed the daily lunch rush towards the cafeteria, she made her way to the nearest girls' bathroom as covertly as possible.

It wasn't exactly the place she'd prefer to try an experiment, but anywhere else on school grounds would attract attention, and the chances of her sister hunting her down were high if she tried anything at home. Dual was still hounding her over her notes, even after handing them over to Sunset Shimmer.

I wonder if she's read through it all yet, Abby couldn't stop wondering, but she knew better than to pester a cosmic being about something.

Instead, she decided to practice her theory now that it had been expressed in writing.

It took a good five minutes to wait for the restroom in question to empty out, though Abby was just thankful that the stall she hid in didn't make her want to vomit. As soon as the last girl at the sink walked out the door, Abby quickly exited her hiding spot and checked the other stalls, just to be sure, before walking to the middle of the room and faced the mirror.

“Okay,” she whispered to herself, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. “Let's see if I can do the Lighty Thing...”

She still wasn't one hundred percent sure about her own Class, but she was confident in her Aspect. Anderson Horsey's online test made certain of that.

In theory and practice, all Classes, even the Destroyer Classes, were capable of generating their Aspect to some degree, and that's all she really needed to do. So she stood there, in the girls' bathroom, thinking about the Light Aspect and all it encompassed.

Light. Literal light. Knowledge. Learning that knowledge. Luck. Good luck. Imagination. Was she even doing it right? Light is relevance. Relevance takes the form of fame, fortune, maybe I want some of that, but I just want...

What did she want?

All her life, she'd been the goofball. No one ever took her seriously. People seldom noticed her. Her sister thought she was nuts, her friends could be counted on one hand due to her oddball quirks, and her parents... who knew what they thought, busy as they always were.

She gave a now cosmic entity a stack of paper in a folder, because she believed that she'd found something that connected it all together. She did it, just like that, because she'd known the girl since she was a normal, albeit polymorphed student several grades ahead of her.

A weirdo who approached a not-a-deity with something that she believed in.

What did she want?

… Validation.

Her eyes opened as she exhaled, suddenly feeling exhausted by the unexpected introspection.

She was glowing.

Abby blinked owlishly as she stared at herself in the mirror. Her whole body, from her rosy skin to her baggy jeans, was giving off a very pale yet still very noticeable glow. Not quite white, not really yellow, but it was very obviously-

Light.

She was giving off Light.

Abstract Cognition stared at her reflection, a large grin forming on her lips, a giddiness bubbling up from her stomach. If the glow seemed to be brightening a touch, she didn't let it stop her from letting out a very loud, very victorious whoop of joy that echoed off the four walls around her.

Kitchen Sink Cosmology, by Masterweaver and FoME

(Masterweaver)

The four fundementals. Air, Earth, Fire, Water. And the fifth, the mysterious aether, oft forgotten.

The five materials. Fire, Water, Earth, Wood, Metal. Each with two manifestations, that which can be touched and that which cannot.

The five colors. White, Blue, Black, Red, Green. Reflections of the magic of the planes.

The seven chakras. Earth, Water, Air, Fire, Sound, Light, Energy. The formation of the soul.

The twelve aspects. Time, Void, Rage, Mind, Hope, Doom, Space, Life, Blood, Heart, Breath, Light. That which births a living universe.

Light and Dark. Yin and Yang. Good and Evil. Order and Chaos.

Laughter, Kindness, Generosity. Honesty, Loyalty, Friendship. Strength, Healing, Hope. Beauty, Bravery, Sorcery.

Elements. Swirling, networks of elements, binding and unbinding and rebinding in a complex interweave. Parts glimpsed and named and vanished. All arguing which is the true, which is the best...

...save those who understand the nature of reflection.

Winter Lights stood. "So..." She considered the network in front of her, the nodes that glowed and those still unfilled. "This game of shadows has gained another board. One the other players have yet to notice... save the godling. Perhaps... soon, perhaps, it will be time to reemerge. Not yet, but soon."

With a snap of her fingers, the network vanished.

(FoME)

Twilight finished the last page of Abstract Cognition's thesis. "And you're saying there are signs of this being applied."

"There are other explanations for it, but... potentially, yes," said Sunset.

Twilight slammed the pile of paper on Sunset's coffee table. "That does it. I give up."

Sunset sighed and reached out to her. "Twilight—"

Twilight bolted to her feet. "I give up!" She started pacing. "The world may have changed, but magic still doesn't want to be analyzed! Every time I think I have it cracked, some new expression, some entirely new system, comes out of nowhere." She stopped, turned, and glared at Abby's work. "No, worse, it comes out of somewhere! It wouldn't be so bad if it were just ancient belief systems, then we could at least explain it as previously established systems coming to the fore, but trading card games? And now a webcomic?"

"Yeah, don't think too hard about what Horsey put together. It doesn't help. Abstract seems to take it a lot more seriously than he does."

"It's just..." Twilight threw up her hands. "It's like magic can behave in any way that people want it to behave, as long as they want it enough!"

The room was silent for a time. Indeed, all of Sunset's warehouse home went quiet, save for the echoes of Twilight's frustration. Sunset simply sat, looking thoughtful.

Once the discomfort passed the point Twilight could bear, she said, "Uh, Sunset? This is the part where you agree that that's ridiculous."

Sunset's silence persisted, though her lips slowly curved into a grin.

"Come on, by that logic, we should've seen even more divergence from the Equestrian model by now."

"That depends on how much is enough, doesn't it?"

"I suppose," Twilight said grudgingly.

Sunset leaned back in her chair, her grin turning into a triumphant smirk. "Sounds like something someone should research, doesn't it?"

Frustration and hope warred in Twilight's mind. She sighed. "I'll get in touch with Abstract Cognition."

"You know you're looking forward to the new avenue of research."

Twilight felt the corners of her mouth turn up despite herself. "You have a knack for ruining my bad moods, you know that?"

Sunset chuckled as she got up. After a peck on those lips, she said, "I pride myself on it."

Author's Note

See here for the current state of a Grand Unified Theory of Magic in this increasingly patchwork universe.

Thousand Suns, by Masterweaver

Sunny Flare looked at the computer screen and cringed. "Great."

Lemon Zest noisily sipped on her smoothie's straw. "Sooooo. What's up?"

"You're still part of that Bacon Horse church?"

"Mmmyep."

"...So... okay." Sunny bit her lip. "My dad's sister—Aunt Crescent, you remember?"

"Oh yeah."

"Well, we went through our old photo albums recently. Found Grandpa Crater. Fun memories."

"Okay."

"He had a sister, Sunflare. I'm actually named after her. Well, except I'm Sunny instead of Sun—"

"No, I got it. Continue?"

"That sister had a daughter. Stellar Flare. She's... not estranged, exactly, but not somebody I talk to regularly."

Lemon nodded, rolling her hand.

"And... Stellar Flare is in a bigamous relationship with two others. A man named Desert Sunrise... and a woman named Sunset Satin."

The pink girl blinked. "...Sunset."

"... Yep." Sunny drew in on herself. "And... well... Stellar Flare has a son named Sunburst... and Sunset Satin has a daughter. Named... well."

Lemon looked at the screen. "So... you're related to this world's version of Sunset Shimmer."

"By my father's cousin's wife, yes. She's my... second cousin, apparently. Or, quarter-second cousin. Since she's not directly biologically related to me." Sunny bit her lip. "Does... does this mean you're going to start worshiping me or something?"

"... You mean besides what I already do in the bedroom?" Lemon shook her head. "Nah. The Divine Bacon Horse grants blessings deliberately, it's not a case of holy blood or anything like that."

"Oh, thank Harmony."

"Course if you want me to do some 'worshipping' right now—"

Sunny rolled her eyes. "Not in the mood." She paused. "Maybe later."

Author's Note

Ah, the fun of canon reconciliation, both internal and external.

Does She Make a Sound?, by FoME

Sunset took a deep breath and, far from the first time in her life, wished there was something she could pray to. "Fluttershy, know that I love you."

Fluttershy offered a rather wooden smile. "That's very sweet of you, Sunset."

"To be clear, I mean that in a familial sense. I love Twilight, of course, but the rest of you are like the sisters I never had." Another deep breath. It wasn't helping much, but it wasn't like she needed the oxygen. "And given Sweetie and Apple Bloom, you know that's not always a good thing."

"Sorry."

Sunset began pacing. Fluttershy could only watch. "There comes a point where sorry doesn't cut it anymore, Shy. It's like the saying goes, 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.'" She turned back, not angry, just disappointed. "What does that say about the fifth time?"

"Um..." Fluttershy bit her lip, eyes darting about. "Shame on both of us? And maybe Tree Hugger?"

Light started streaming from Sunset's skin and didn't stop until after she took a few deep breaths. "That's certainly a valid answer. However, I think there's a far better one. If you absolutely must do yoga outside, on moist soil, while barefoot, maybe don't do the tree pose."

Fluttershy nodded as best she could with her skin turned to bark, to say nothing of her arms locked in place above her and her whole body balancing on one leg. At least the roots helped. "I'll try to keep it in mind."

"That's what you said last time." Sunset disentangled the other girl's morphic field with increasingly practiced ease. "Do or do not." She glared at the tiny shoots still sprouting out of one of Fluttershy's knees. "And while you're doing, do get a set of pruning shears."

In Revue, by Malandy

"Now, for a word from our sponsors!" Sonata said cheerily. "As the only well-known siren aspects in the world, we get to try out new products to make sure they work for everyone. And we get to tell you about it! So, without further ado, from Fancy Industries and VivoWare, comes the new Magitech Multitool. Coming to a store near you and available on our online store!"

"Well, right now, it's not a full multitool," said Aria, "it's literally just a Fancy Toothbrush. No hardlight knives here. I tried. I can't even hit things with it."

Sonata tried to shove Aria away from the microphone with just her head. "How about that comb? And the loofah setting."

"Thanks for that enlightening summary." Adagio snarked from her own mike. "So, Fancy Industries has improved on the toothbrush to make it work as any brush. A comb, a loofah, whatever. If it brushes, you can use the Multitool. What's really nice is the toothbrush setting. Use it right and you don't need flossing or toothpaste."

"We used to regrow our teeth, but now we have to take care of them," Aria grumbled.

"If you're done telling the audience about our biology..."

"The amount of magic we spent on them..."

"But now it's not our magic we're spending!" said Sonata.

The conversation devolved into typical bickering for a few moments until Adagio said, "Speaking of oral care, are these in dentist offices yet?

Sonata shook her head. The others gave her pointed looks until she realized that wasn't helpful during a podcast. "Oh, no, not yet. So dentist appointments are still here, for now.

"This has been Siren Spell Stories, your channel for worldwide magical news, giving the Fancy Toothbrush a rating of Pretty Fancy! Stay tuned for our next segment: How electro-magical energy storage works!"

Onto the Sunset, by FoME

Twilight wrung her hands. “Are you sure about this?”

Sunset quirked an eyebrow. “I’m already doing it. So, yeah, pretty sure.”

“It’s just, well…”

"I get it, really. But just because I don’t like being worshiped doesn’t mean I’ll say no to a charity fundraiser. Not unless I have something cosmically important on my plate already. And for a good cause like this?” Sunset shook with repressed laughter. “When Pinkie first found out there was a charity called Smile Car, it took all of us to keep her from donating her whole life savings.”

“It’s definitely a worthy cause,” said Twilight. “It’s just the way you’re helping that concerns me.”

Sunset shrugged. “Well, when the Baconists are running the fundraiser, there are certain expectations.”

“Yes, but—”

“Twilight. I’m fine with it. Really. Don’t go taking offense for me when I’m not offended.” Sunset rolled her eyes. “There’s enough of that on the Internet.”

Twilight sighed and slumped. “Fair,” she conceded.

“Now, if you’re not here for a unicorn ride, I’m going to have to ask you to leave so I can help the next person in line.”

“Yeah,” said the six-year-old behind Twilight, “move it, lady!”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She walked away from the corral of a half-dozen equine Sunsets walking about with gleeful children astride them and towards the rest of the charity carnival.

“Besides.” A human Sunset appeared next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. “You know you never have to wait in line for me.”

And Twilight couldn’t help but smile.

Author's Note

Needless to say, not concurrent with Transmission Spectrum.

Synthetic Byproducts, by Masterweaver

Author's Note

Note: This short contains mild spoilers for Psychosynthesis.

Synthetic Byproducts, by Masterweaver

"Thanks again for going into my mindscape to wake me up from my magically induced coma, everyone!" Pinkie smiled and waved as the group filed out of the house.

"Don't mention it," Rainbow replied. "Ever."

"I'm gonna be wakin' up in tha middle of tha night fer weeks," Applejack muttered.

Pinkie laughed awkwardly. "Yeah... sorry."

"It's not your fault, darling." Rarity patted her shoulder. "It's all that beastly girl's doing, and your sisters are already ensuring she understands why what she did is wrong."

"Honestly, the magical chain of events leading up to the situation is extremely interesting from a scientific viewpoint—" Twilight held up a hand, preemptively cutting Luna off. "Yes, yes, I know it was unethical, I'm speaking primarily from a scientific standpoint."

Fluttershy glanced back inside the house, spotting another pink-skinned girl, and rapidly pushed Luna and Twilight down the driveway. "I just remembered I need to talk to you two about something very important somewhere very far from here!"

Rarity chuckled, patting Pinkie's shoulder before she followed them. "Good luck."

"Uh... thanks?" Pinkie looked around. "Good luck with what?"

Ruby Rose took a deep breath, walking up to her carefully. "Soooooooo. Pinkie Pie. While we were in your mindscape, I may have... possibly... had a conversation with the manifestation of your romantic and sexual desires."

Pinkie blinked.

"...oh."

"Yeah."

"Um."

"So..."

"Well..."

"...yep."

"Cheese."

Ruby snorted. "Okay, yeah, monosyllabic conversation doesn't do either of us any favors. So..."

"...Ruby." Pinkie took her hands gently. "I... respect you, you know that? I know you've got a very important job, and a lot of family drama and... and your life is already chaotic. And you're asexual and I'm... not... but I'm not going to make any demands that--"

"Pinkie." Ruby took a breath. "Pinkie," she tried again, "I... honestly, I don't know whether or not I want... this."

"You... don't know."

"No, I... might? I know I care a lot about you, I just don't know if it's... that way." She took another breath, holding Pinkie's hands more firmly. "But... the way that my sister explained things, dating isn't exactly saying 'I love you.' It's... figuring out if you can say that. If you do love somebody. And if they love you. Together."

Pinkie's eyes widened. "You... you mean...?"

"...I've never actually dated anybody before," Ruby admitted. "And I'm not sure how we'd make it different from just hanging out like we do, but... I'm willing to try, you know?"

There were many smiles Pinkie could make, more even than the standard smiles of an ordinary person. This one, though, this was softer then most, and highlighted by the happy tears welling in her eyes. "Yeah... I know. Thank you, Ruby, I just—"

"Saturday," Ruby said firmly. "I'll make... some sort of plan. And probably wear a disguise because, you know, pope."

"Will you wear a mustache?"

Ruby snorted. "Yes," she decided. "Yes, I will most definitely wear a mustache to our first date. And have a hilarious accent."

Pinkie's smile grew impossibly. "You are the best girlfriend I could ever ask for."

SpaceXcess, by Malandy

Author's Note

Familiarity with Crossworlds Guardian, Sailor Orbital! is strongly recommended.

SpaceXcess, by Malandy

Kikai had been happy to develop connections with PAULDRONS. She certainly had a personal interest in advocating for the rights of nonhuman sophonts, especially given her resemblance to a local pet species. But she never expected them to contact her on behalf of a seemingly unrelated organization. Still, once she got the news, she quickly informed the GALAX-E Girls, to form a consistent and financially sound response.

The situation certainly called for one.

"NEIGHSA is funding us?!" cried Ditzy, so surprised her eyes had aligned. "Why?"

"The Gates will eventually lead to the Moon Base," Kikai said as she looked over a printout of the offer. "It seems they have incorporated that into their plans and abandoned rocketry as their primary means of reaching your moon in favor of the Gates. That frees up their budget for human moon bases, Moon-to-Ares travel, and well, us."

The girls shared looks ranging from confusion to concern to intrigue. "So," said Golden Harvest, "how much money are we talking about?"

"Well, the money is not going to 'us' directly, but instead sent to equipment suppliers like the Atlazan Institute, the Company of D.R.E.A.M.S., and Fancy Industries. And scholarships, since they figured out that most, if not all, of you are teenagers."

"... It was the memes," deadpanned Blue Oyster, "wasn't it."

"... They aren't denying that."

Don't Ask About Groom Q. Q. Martingale, by FoME

“WHAT!?”

Indignant screams weren’t unheard of in the Canterlot High cafeteria, but they usually came from Sunset when one of her followers did something stupid, or from Sweetie Belle when one of Sunset’s followers was going to do something stupid. One coming from Pinkie Pie was almost unheard of.

“Hey,” said Ditzy Doo, “if you don’t believe me, I’ll show you.” She paid for her lunch and followed Pinkie to the latter’s usual table, where all of her friends awaited with varying degrees of concern.

Sunset took a deep breath. “Okay. On a scale from one to yes, how worried should I be?”

“Oh.” Pinkie let her tray clatter to the table, the better to cross her arms and narrow her eyes. “We’ll see.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “This ain’t another ‘cupcakes vs. muffins’ thing, is it? ‘Cause Granny ain’t gonna stand fer that kinda thing in ‘er cafeteria again.”

“Nothing of the sort,” said Ditzy. She turned to Rainbow Dash and Twilight. They weren’t sitting next to each other, but that wasn’t an issue for her. “I was hoping you two could settle something for me.”

They exchanged an uncertain glance. “Why us?” said Dash.

“I’m happy to answer any questions you may have to the best of my ability, even if… well, you do have a tendency to raise them more often than not. But this…” Twilight blinked as the penny dropped. “Oh. It’s Daring Do, isn’t it?”

Ditzy nodded. “Just wanted to confirm A. K. Yearling’s full name. I heard it from Blue Oyster the other day, but that didn’t sound right.”

More wary looks flitted across the lunch table. “Okay…” said both.

“I mean, really, who’d name their kid Aerling Kearling Yearling?”

Silence stretched on for several seconds. Then Dash and Twilight both started cackling like idiots, doubling over even as their friends looked on in fond disgust. All except Pinkie Pie, who just glared at Ditzy even more angrily.

“It’s Alluvial Karst Yearling, for the record,” Fluttershy said, having looked it up on her phone.

“Yeah, I know.” Ditzy smirked at Pinkie. “Told you I could tell a joke only those two would laugh at.”

“You win this round, Doo.” Pinkie managed to hold the pout for all of five seconds before devolving into her own giggle fit.