Scootaloo's New Dad

by Michael Hudson

Rating: everyone
Tags: Diamond Tiara, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Crossover
Length: 1339

He is a bit of a hypocrite though.

He is a bit of a hypocrite though.

Crossover with Overwatch

Why did I write this?

Published 2016-06-02 15:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-06-02 15:00:01 UTC

Scootaloo's New Dad

Ding, ding, ding.

Cheerilee sighed as she put the paper in front of her down, and turned to her class. They were as excitable as they always were, but she couldn’t blame them. She was even looking forward to the weekend, and glanced at the picture of Widow Maker on her desk as she bit into her lip. “Alright class, turn in your homework if you got it done. Otherwise, I expect you to turn it in on Monday, and I won’t listen to ‘I was doing my duty as an excuse.’ I know what you’re all doing this weekend.”

The three fillies in the back, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom, all glanced at each other and smiled. They had made sure to get theirs done, as they were letting nothing stop them from enjoying the event going on. Well, everyone but Scootaloo. Apple Bloom turned around and gave the orange pegasi a small glare. “Alright, school’s done, spill. Why aren’t you excited?”

Sweetie’s voice cracked to about five octaves too high, causing poor Featherweight to fall over from the screech. She then placed her hoof over her mouth, and tried again. “Yeah, why? Button and I have personally been planning this weekend for weeks, and I thought we had finally convinced you to get hyped.”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and slowly hopped out of her seat. She then darted forwards, grabbing all of theirs papers as she made sure her friends couldn’t see her smile. “Well, maybe it’s something more exciting than just some boring game. I mean, come on girls, it’s not like I’m a gamer.”

A small huff escaped Sweetie Belle as she charged ahead of Button and slammed her hooves down. “There is nothing more exciting than Overwatch, and I will stay here until you take your sacrilege back!”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow, and then smiled. “Oh. Well, how about me getting a super cool dad that wants to spend the weekend with all of us?”

Both fillies stopped and just stared at Scootaloo for a moment, before Apple Bloom rushed forward and hugged her friend. “Really? That’s amazing! What’s he like? Where did he come from? How long have you known?”

Sweetie was still had her emotional clutch slammed through Tartarus, so Scootaloo just hopped around her and smiled as she hopped onto one of the desks. “Oh, he is only the coolest guy I have ever met. Stone solid, strong as an army, and unlike literally anyone you’ve ever seen. Trust me, your mind will explode once you see him.”

Apple Bloom put her hooves onto Sweetie’s back, her body bouncing slightly as she giggled. “That sounds great Scoots! Of course,” she smiled and climbed down as she suppressed a laugh, “I didn’t know Rainbow Dash had a sex change operation.”

Scootaloo jumped down from the desk, her tail smacking Sweetie Belle in the face, restarting her, before she said, “Honestly, if I really had to say it…” she leaned in closer and whispered, “he’s even cooler than Rainbow Dash.”

While Apple Bloom gasped, Sweetie Belle screamed, “But it’s Overwatch!”

“And that’s why she is making such a stupid claim now.”

All three of them froze, before turning around and looking at-

Name: Diamond Tiara
Species: Earth Pony
Parents: Yes
Social Class: Elite/Snob
Bully Level: Seven
Threat Level: To most: 0 To my Scootabumps: ANY IS TOO MUCH!
Likelihood of Necessary Action: HIGH

Scootaloo scowled and narrowed her eyes. “What do you want Diamond Tiara?”

Apple Bloom stomped forward and snorted in Diamond Tiara’s face, only getting the pink pony to smirk. “Yeah, where do you get off thinking that Scootaloo is lying?”

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes and walked around them, her head shaking the whole way. This was too easy. “Well, all I’m saying is that with such an outrageous claim, it’s a little hard to believe. I mean, don’t you think any of us would have heard about this stallion before now? It’s not like adoption is a short process.”

Scootaloo scrunched her muzzle up, and stepped forward. Imperceptible to the ponies, but all too obvious too another, was a tear forming in the corner of her eye.

“Activating Tactical Visor.”

Scootaloo looked her nemesis in the eye, and growled. “Well, if you want, you can come home with me and see how badass and real he is.”

A chuckle escaped the mean filly as she shook her head. “And waste my time for you to ‘find’ a mysterious note saying that he is off on some sort of business? No thanks. I’ll just accept what I know is the truth.”

“I have you in my sights.”

Scootaloo pressed her hooves into the floor as she forced back the tears. She wasn’t supposed to be sad about anything today, and of course Diamond Tiara was getting in the way of that. “W-well he said he might come pick me up if he got done with dinner early enough, s-so we’ll wait for him here!”

“Oh, now you’re just getting desper-”

Bang!

Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened for a moment as she could feel a dull pain at the top of her head. Her knees buckled and she began falling forward, confused as to what happened. She put one hoof out, stopping herself just in time, before she looked up, and saw the two halves of her tiara. At that moment, a long chain of bangs rang from just outside the classroom, and everypony watched as plasma shots turned it to dust, while not hurting a single, other thing.

“W-what just happe-”

Thud! Everypony turned around and looked at the odd… thing in the room. He was a tall man, standing on two legs, with a long, blue pulse rifle, with a streak of white down the middle. His jacket seemed to copy this, with blue on the arms, white on the chest, and flares of red. He crossed the room in only a few strides, pushing Diamond Tiara out of the way, before pointing a figner right in her face. His voice was deep, gravelly, and demanded respect with each word. “You will not harass my daughter anymore.”

Diamond Tiara couldn’t really respond, as she was a little too focused on collapsing into an unconscious wreck. Scootaloo smiled as she heard Sweetie Belle begin muttering something, before letting out a small yelp as her dad picked her up. The pegasus smiled sheepishly as she was cradled in the soldier’s strong arms, but tried to push it away as she looked down to her friends. “Girls, this is my dad, Sold-”

“Solier Seventy-Six!” Sweetie Belle had jumped almost five five into the air, before turning over, and falling back down unconscious from excitement.

Seventy-Six was fairly unfazed, as he had more important things to worry about. He turned to Scootaloo, and frowned. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier. The salad just took so long to make, and the lasagna…” He shook his head. “I can’t believe I let it burn.”

Scootaloo grinned and booped him on the nose. “Ah, don’t worry about it. We can grab a pizza and play some games tonight.”

Seventy-Six’s red visor glowed brighter as he started walking towards the door to leave the classroom. “Are you kidding? Do you know how unhealthy that would be? I am not going to put that sort of garbage into my filly’s brain or stomach! No, we have plenty of salad at home.”

“But I don’t like salad!”

“It’s good for you, so you should.”

“But that’s why I don’t like it!”

Apple Bloom smiled as she watched the two head off, happy that Scootaloo got such a good dad, and also wondering how Sweetie would react when she found out his stance on video games.

She didn’t take it well.

Author's Note

The Soldier Seventy-Dad stuff is my favorite stuff coming out of Overwatch so far, but that still doesn't explain why I wrote this.