Thirty Minute Ponies

by Arcainum

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 22639

Collection of the TMP prompts I've actually managed to scrape something out of.

A compilation of my entries to Thirty Minute Ponies, as and when I make them. Quality and content will be... variable.

Published 2012-07-12 13:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-07-10 00:18:32 UTC

Remade Promises

Prompt #41: Celestia Remembers

It is cold. So cold that it hurts. The wind is a blade that cuts to the bone, and it is an effort even to move.

She sniffs, and the acrid stench of a burning city fills her nostrils. Against her better judgement, she looks over her shoulder and sees the green-tinged flames lick at the empty sky. The raging blizzard does nothing to stem the inferno as it slowly consumes everything that she once held dear.

She strains her ears and... yes, they are still screaming. The sound is barely audible over the howl of the whirling snow, but the dying still make themselves known. But above all else sounds the call of the windigoes, the mournful screech of frozen harbingers triumphant.

The truce had failed. Unicorns had grown proud, and insisted their abilities be worshipped. The earth ponies had been stubborn, refusing to grow the food that all ponies needed and only they could provide. And the bitter pegasi had ensured that they never could. As three races clashed in ancient rivalry, townships burned in magical flame, while neither sun nor moon illuminated the barren ground that had not seen rain for years.

She hears a muffled curse, and turns to fully face the distant flames. Her sister has tripped, catching her hooves on a lumpen shadow beneath her. The dead half-light that passes for illumination these days outlines the body of a pegasus, its wings tattered and spread wide. Its vacant eyes stare into the vacant sky with something that looks like sadness.

She wonders whether it died wishing things were different, or if it never knew they could be. All around, Equestria burns itself to death from within even as it freezes from without, until nothing will remain but silent twilight.

She meets her sister’s eyes and in that moment, standing above the corpse of a pony whose name they never knew, they make their decision.

Ponies have forgotten who they are, and what they were. Once, the three races cast aside their hatred and sang together as they built a kingdom the likes of which the world had never seen. They stood before the dangers of the world, fought them back together, and emerged as friends.

But that friendship has been forgotten. Their friendship was a light, the light that guided Equestria through the darkest of times, but now the kingdom is blind.

Her sister nods. They will remind them.

She tenses, and takes a deep breath. This will require all of her power. She lets the magic flow through her, bringing the pain of exertion with it. Tears run down her cheeks as she grits her teeth and crosses the line she swore she would never cross. Wisps of rainbow magic waft lazily from her surroundings and merge with her growing aura, Equestria’s ambient magic itself repurposed to her great task. The grass shrivels at her feet, and the murdered pony’s body crumbles to dust - a sacrifice she prays it would have been willing to make. Her mane shimmers as it changes colour and begins to billow against the rising wind, streaking behind her like the tail of a pastel comet.

The magic reaches its peak, and something deep within her changes. She is no longer simply a pony. She is a retaken responsibility, an example, a beacon to follow. She can stand it no more, and she releases the spell. Her sister smiles. It will be her turn soon.

They will remind them.

~

Celestia stopped, and stared at the wall of her pupil’s room. The only sound was the soft breathing of the young Twilight Sparkle lying in her tiny bed, long since carried into sleep by the tale. Shaking herself free of the memory, Celestia looked down at her student and smiled. A single ray of moonlight pierced the curtains of the room, casting a silver warmth over the one who would bring together the closest friends Equestria would ever know. Celestia kissed Twilight’s cheek lovingly, and whispered the end of her story.

“And that, Twilight Sparkle... is when I first raised the sun.”

Misplaced Complacency

Prompt #42: A - What is the answer? / B - What is the question?

Twilight’s legs ache. Every desperate step she takes as she runs is heavy, laboured. The floor of the hive is... strange. It looks like rock, but her hooves sink lightly into it at the slightest pressure. Her lungs burn as she stumbles across the uneven surface, sucking in rank, moist air. Her heart pounds in her chest, a constant pressure that threatens to overwhelm her at any moment.

The glowing walls speak to her.

“I told you you could never win, Twilight Sparkle. I told you my defeat at the castle was meaningless. We are legion, little pony, and you have been brought into our heart. Our beating, feasting, living heart.”

Twilight skids around a corner, galloping into another passage that she does not recognise. The place is changing, she is sure of it. Since her escape from the egg chamber, she has been mapping her route mentally. That map is a twisted mess of overlapping caves, looping corridors that led only to themselves, and gaping entrances leading to useless dead ends.

She hears the changelings in the distance, the sound of their approach from everywhere and nowhere at once. Skittering claws echo in the darkness, drowning out the wet pulse of the seeping ooze that layers almost every surface. Buzzing wings sing a wordless song of the hunt, accompanied by keening howls of hunger.

The walls speak again.

“How do you think you will escape, Twilight Sparkle? You could not even stop us taking you. We come within an inch of controlling your nation and you do not even think to screen for our disguises? Pathetic.”

Even through the terror, Twilight grudgingly accepts. They had been aloof, stupid. Since Chrysalis and her minions had been blasted away by the love of her brother and his wife, Equestria had settled back into its routine far too easily. There had been no measures taken, no procedures instituted. They had simply patted each other on the back and moved on with their lives. And she had paid for it.

A patch of slime gleams green and takes shape as Twilight passes it, black chitin swiping at her with cold precision. She cries out in surprise and leaps to the side, hooves scrabbling for purchase on the slippery, springy floor. The changeling’s claws catch only fur and she staggers away, breaking back into a gallop as soon as she can steady herself as the beast screeches behind her.

The walls are laughing now.

“You know nothing, Twilight Sparkle. You defeated us through providence and paranoia, nothing more. There are no friends to help you here, no bubble from the blue to blow us all away. The question is... What is it you truly understand about us?”

Twilight thinks back to the changeling that had attacked her only seconds before. She had not known they could do that. She had not known anything. How they moved so fast, how they came from nowhere, how they... She fights back the rising bile even as she gasps for breaths that grow harsher every time. She had not known how they reproduced.

A spark of light catches her eye, and she squints through the tears of pain that almost blind her.

There. The exit. She has found it.

The claws and wings and teeth of the changeling horde grow louder behind her and she forces herself to run faster, to use the energy she doesn’t have to throw herself towards the growing light of freedom.

She is so close. She can see the sky.

The walls laugh again, and more changelings burst from their vile coating, leaping at her claws outstretched. She grits her teeth and casts a spell she knows she cannot afford, teleporting precious metres closer to the exit. The entourage provided by the Princess should still be nearby. As soon as she is free, she can call for help, begin to defend herself against the chittering death behind her.

She can feel the wind on her cheeks, and the light stings her eyes. At her feet, a rock becomes a foe, a hissing terror that grabs at her hooves. She is merely feet away now.

She leaps, cresting the grasping changeling by inches. She sails clumsily through the air, her final exhausted effort propelling her heavily towards the blessed threshold.

She hits the wall hard, cracking her horn and breaking her nose. She crashes to the floor in agony, vision blotting as the concussion takes hold. Blinking through the pain and confusion, she looks up blearily.

The sky is gone, replaced by suppurating stone. She is alone in the dark, trapped where the very rock taunts her. The hive was mocking her, letting her think she had a chance. It is now that she realises that she never did.

She hears the laughter, no longer all around but directly above her. She feels the long, steely limb on her neck, pinning her. She feels the hot breath of Chrysalis on her face, and hears her sibilant voice in her ear.

“The answer, Twilight Sparkle... is ‘not enough.’”

~~~~~

Note: This one didn't get posted because I derped the submission so technically it shouldn't even be here but WHATEVER.

Disparate Dreams

Prompt #68: Rainbow Dash finally gets accepted into the Wonderbolts

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh.”

Spitfire laughed at Rainbow Dash’s continued enthusiasm. She never ceased to be amazed by the adoration the young pegasus held for the Wonderbolts, and it was as pleasing as it was grating.

“Okay, Rainbow, let’s cut the fangirling. You ready to train?”

Rainbow Dash looked down at herself, hooves clutched to her cheeks and legs bent in subconscious supplication to her hero. She coughed awkwardly and stood straight.

“Uh, yeah. Training. Right.”

Spitfire smiled to put her new protege at her ease. They still had a while to go before Rainbow would be comfortable with them, but... well, that didn’t exactly matter.

~

The day was clear and bright, and training continued apace. Rainbow Dash, for all her childish glee, showed all the skill and grace that had brought her to the Wonderbolts’ attention in the first place. Spitfire watched from a nearby cloud as Rainbow effortlessly lapped Soarin.

She couldn’t stop staring. The power of the filly. Whether the Element of Loyalty had enhanced her abilities or it was sheer natural talent, Rainbow was beautiful to behold. Her eyes lingered on Rainbow’s wings, tracing every contour of every feather as they flung her through the air.

Yes, she would serve the Wonderbolts well.

~

The dying glow of the sun cradled Rainbow’s face, and once again Spitfire found herself unable to look away. They stood at the door of Rainbow’s new room, Rainbow’s hoof on the door to enter. Something had made them pause, some feeling in the air that neither of them was quite ready to acknowledge.

“Uh... listen, I just wanted to say, yknow... thanks for letting me in. I mean... seriously.”

Spitfire smiled warmly.

“Dash, you’re the best flyer Equestria has ever seen. The only reason you don’t hold every record is because you never let us take readings. We need your wings.”

Rainbow returned the smile, a genuine grin that broke Spitfire’s heart.

She almost couldn’t bring herself to knock Rainbow out.

~

Dim lamps lit the cold stone room, a necessary inconvenience to keep this place off the grid. Spitfire took a deep breath and hoisted Rainbow’s limp form onto the stone slab. The shadow of their goddess loomed over the unconscious pegasus

She hated this place. It was so cliche, so... uncool. A wry smile crept onto her features as she sensed Dash’s influence. Already she had wormed her way into Spitfire’s mind. Still, what must be done must be done.

Her fellow Wonderbolts emerged from the shadows, wearing the purple uniforms of their ancestors. They nodded, and she commenced.

“Mare in the Moon, we pray to thee. In wings be strength, let hers be ours.”

The statue began to glow, and the brightening light made Rainbow stir. Spitfire’s stomach turned. It was so much worse when they were awake.

Icy hands of shadow swirled into being around the statue, snaking their way toward the twitching Rainbow. They gripped her wings tightly, and Rainbow awoke, her eyes snapping open in fear and surprise.

“Whoa, whoa, what the hay is going on? Where am I?!”

The hands tightened, and Rainbow cried out in pain. Spitfire sighed, and her fellow Shadowbolts moved closer. Rainbow’s eyes widened as Spitfire leant in close, their muzzles almost touching. A look of hunger and regret consumed Spitfire’s face, and she choked the words free.

“In wings be strength, Dash.”

Rainbow struggled harder, but the hands clamped down and Spitfire heard the bone crack. She felt the energy begin to enter her, felt the ritual being in earnest. Soon the hands would start to pull.

“We need your wings.”

~~~~~

Note: This one is kinda weird. I got the time-conversion wrong and thought I only had 40 minutes, so this got about 5 minutes thinking and 20 minutes writing. It really, really shows. But it definitely turned out a little better than I thought it would, and I think I did an okay job of horror on the "a clear reason makes a thing less scary" basis.

Oops.

Prompt #70: Pinkie Pie shows Applejack a good time

Applejack sighed and rolled her eyes.

“For the last time, Pinkie, I got work to do! I don’t have time for your foolin’!”

Pinkie’s face drooped in the closest approximation to sadness she could manage, but the smile soon found its place again and she bounced around the muttering farmpony.

“But Aaaaplejaaack, it’s really really cool! Seriously!”

Applejack continued her steady pace across the barn, moving for chore to chore with practiced efficiency. Her efforts were not aided by Pinkie’s uncanny ability to be almost-but-not-quite-entirely in the way at all times.

“Listen, it’s a long day for the farm today, and I just ain’t the mood right now for y-”

She was cut off by Pinkie’s hoof touching her lips softly. Startled by the sudden tender motion, Applejack looked into Pinkie’s eyes and saw the twinkle beneath the twinkle. The agenda. Pinkie’s smile softened.

“Come on, Applejack. Pleeease? I just want to show you a good time. Everypony likes a good times, right?”

Applejack swallowed. Thoughts she had forced herself not to think came bubbling to the fore. She had long got on well with Pinkie, and lately their friendship had grown closer. She seemed less grating and more fun. Her cakes tasted better. Almost without noticing, they had been spending more time together, laughing more together, and now… perhaps something more together.

“I… uh… I sure ain’t one to, uh, turn down a… a good time…”

Pinkie grinned and turned slowly away, looking at Applejack over her shoulder. Her expression was closer to her normal wide smile now, but there was still a hint of some greater surprise, some planned event that Applejack felt almost certain she wasn’t prepared for.

“Well, come on then. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed!”

With that, Pinkie bounced out of the barn. Applejack wiped her brow, coughing dismissively at no one in particular. Then, after a furtive glance about the barn, she followed her friend.

As she nervously kept pace with the now-singing Pinkie, her mind raced. Was this the moment she had been tentatively hoping for? Was this, of all times, to be her first… good time?

Pinkie led her to an old shed on the outskirts of the farm. Applejack recognised it well. It was where they slept when the harvest was hard and they were forced to work the fields all night. The bed was rough, but deep and comfortable. She swallowed again as Pinkie nudged the door open with her hoof.

“Well, come on in! What are you waiting for?”

Applejack glanced about her. Nopony was looking, right? Nopony could pin this on her, right? She had to get inside, get this over with, before nerves sent her fleeing.

Come on now, Applejack, you’ve saved this kingdom more than once! Surely you can handle a… handle a… a good time.

She scurried past Pinkie, who eased the door shut behind them. The shed was dark, gloomy, and Applejack couldn’t make out much. She could make out one thing though.

The bed lay at her hooves, welcoming and foreboding.

The dim light of a lamp flickered into life. Pinkie put the lamp back in its sconce and turned back to Applejack, her expression unreadable.

“I didn’t have much time to prepare but… I guess now’s about right. Go on, AJ, close your eyes!”

Applejack forced herself to comply. Her heart pounded in her chest. She’d never expected it to be like this, for her to be acting like a frightened filly when the time came for a… a good time.

Ever so slightly, she puckered her lips.

“Surpriiise!”

Applejack opened her eyes. Pinkie was stood on her hind legs, holding forth a cardboard box haphazardly decorated with scraps of coloured paper and sparkling ribbon. Pinkie’s smile was wide, childlike, expectant.

“Uh…”

Applejack stepped forward and, eyebrow raised, peered into the box. A piece of paper lay almost cheerfully inside, adorned with three words in Pinkie’s uneven cursive.

A GOOD TIME.

“Isn’t it great?!”

~~~~~

Note: This one was super fun. I've never written anything even remotely shippy before and even this short fake-out was a foray into something different. I'm tentatively pleased with what I came out with, too. I've spoken to a couple people who are all about the horse love and some said they were disappointed it was a joke xD This is also, I realise, the first time I've ever written anything about Pinkie ever. I've never even MENTIONED her before. Go figure!

An Astounding Revelation

Prompt #78: Two of the Mane Six have just learned that they’re related

“Goodness, is that so?” Rarity brought her cup to her lips and sipped daintily. The tea was still scalding, and she almost dropped the fine china as she pursed her lips and blew in an attempt to cool her mouth down.

“Oh yes, I was very surprised. Um, are you okay?” Fluttershy leaned forward attentively, but Rarity waved her away and swallowed quickly.

“Oh, don’t worry. I am simply too eager to try this delicious brew. Earl Palamino, isn’t it?”

Fluttershy nodded and sat back down, her relief clear on her face. “I, um, think so. I hear it’s very good.”

“Oh my, yes. But remind me to leave it until I can drink it without hurting myself next time, hmm?”

Fluttershy giggled, before returning to the conversation at hand. “So, um, yes. I was talking to Whiplash the other day and he said that Rapier Wit and Truestrike are getting married.”

Rarity stared briefly into space thoughtfully. “I never thought I’d see the day, I must admit. That Truestrike has always been one for quick decisions, but… Rapier Wit? Are they really suited for each other?”

Fluttershy looked uncomfortable at judging another pony’s relationship choices, but nevertheless replied. “I… Well, I’ve heard that, um, they get on really well. And they’ve known each other since flight camp. Hair Flair told me that-”

“Wait, Fluttershy, you know Hair Flair? I thought you didn’t use her salon.”

Fluttershy blinked at the unexpected interruption before stuttering in response. “Oh, um, she’s a relative.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “A relative? How close?”

“Um… She’s my mother’s half-sister’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s nephew’s husband’s sister.”

Rarity gasped, bringing a hoof to her chest in shock. “My goodness, what a coincidence! The reason I frequented her salon in the first place is that she’s my father’s cousin’s wife’s nephew’s son’s wife! I suppose that makes us related.”

Fluttershy thought about this for a moment. “Um, that’s quite interesting.”

Rarity nodded and took another sip of tea. “Indeed! It’s a small kingdom, after all.” There was a moment of silence as Rarity savoured her drink before continuing. “So, do tell me what she was saying.”

Epilogue

AND NOTHING EVER CAME OF IT.

~~~~~

Note: Yeah, by this point I'm pretty much actively subverting the prompts. I really like trying to think of things that other people aren't going to and, if the snippets of the TMP mods' chat I've seen are anything to go by, I'm doing an okay job of it! This one was fun because I love anti-jokes, where the joke is that there isn't one. Making the potentially huge fact of the Mane 6 having two relations in it a complete non-entity was just my attempt at that.

Fairy Tales

Prompt #78: Somepony just can’t fall asleep, no matter what they try.

Truefire sniffed and rolled over. Her duvet rustled as she shifted, twisting to find the perfect sleeping position.

No dice. She kept shuffling, eyes clamped shut and lips pursed as she fought the eternal battle of pony vs. bed, with a comfortable night’s sleep the coveted prize. Her forehead crinkled into a frown as she tried one la-

sssssssss

Truefire’s eyes snapped open.

The noise had been low, sibilant. Her ears pricked as she tried to pinpoint where it had come from, but it had been too faint to make out clearly. For a moment, she panicked, then rational thought kicked in and she settled back into the mattress. The pipes had been playing up and Socket hadn’t been round to fix them yet. No doubt she’d have a minor leak in the morning, but frankly she was far too tired to b-

sssssssss

Truefire jumped and she threw the covers from her body, sitting up and taking a glance about her room. Illuminated faintly by the rays of moonlight creeping through the curtains, she could see nothing but the shadows clinging to her walls and the scattered recipe books she was currently researching. She swallowed and wiped a bead of sweat from her forehead.

The shadows in one corner of the room seemed to thicken. Truefire bit her lip and peered closer, raising the covers to her neck.

Nothing moved. Perhaps she had been imagining it. She lay back down and pulled the thick linen over her once more, chuckling to herself. She was acting like a frightened filly, jumping at things that went bump in the night. She muttered to herself as tried to settle into the position she had come so close to perfecting. How did that old rhyme go?

“The hissing thing, it preys at night, when sun is low and moon is bright…”

She smiled to herself, nuzzling her pillow. She could almost remember the first time her grandmother had told her that sto-

thump

Truefire froze.

sssssssss

The noise again, louder this time. It was coming from one corner of the room. That corner. She huddled herself tighter, willing herself to ignore what she knew could only be the workings of her rickety old house.

thump

sssssssss

Louder, closer. She bit her lip as the panic rose. There was something in the room with her, and her scattered thoughts placed the sound between her and the door. The acrid smell of rotten meat began to creep into her nostrils. Her mind raced through the rhyme, grasping for something to understand.

“The waking world is where it walks, but only outside sleep it stalks…”

That was it! Sleep! She had to get to sleep, and everything would be fine. She would wake up from this silly nightmare and everything would be fine.

thump

sssssssss

The smell was stronger now, the air thicker. She screwed her eyes as tightly closed as she could and clutched the covers close about her, flattening herself against the mattress that not an inch of her was exposed. She was a filly again, a defenceless child building a wall of linen and hope against anything that would harm her.

thump
sssssssss

The hissing and the thuds she dared not contemplate were getting faster, and her bed was shaking with every impact. She could hear breathing now, a ragged gasp of infinite hunger. She began to cry, willing herself to drift away into blissful oblivion, but her mind was full of fear and the restlessness wouldn’t leave her.

thumpsssssssss

The spell! The spell her grandmother had taught her! She desperately cast her mind back to that night on the veranda when her grandmother had told her so many things, of the hissing thing and the beast of many eyes.

thumpsssssssss

The spell at last came back to her, and she summoned the magic as fast as she could.

THUMPSSSSSSSSS

Her bed shook. Something grabbed the covers and ripped them away. She screamed and cast the spell, and felt the magic settle over her mind like a pillow.

SSSSSSSSS

Even as she drifted into unconsciousness, she heard the hissing, felt the hot breath on her face. Her eyes drooped closed and the shadows descended…

sssssssss

~~~~~

Note: OH HEY LOOK MORE DARK. I'm ambivalent about this one. On the one hand I got in some worldbuildy stuff that I like (I love non-specific titles like The Hissing Thing), but on the other hand the pacing is ass and I didn't have enough time to refine the sound conceit. I'm not sure I pulled off the ambiguous ending, either. I need to stop caring so much about being within EXACTLY thirty minutes, because just ten minutes refinement could've made most of these so much better. Also I failed in my quest to surprise the mods this time. NEXT TIME, OBSCUREREFERENCE!

Layered Deception

Prompt #79: Fluttershy always knew she was different.

Pinkie bounced gaily along the path to Fluttershy’s house, beaming brightly to match the midday sun and humming all the while. She’d finally gotten the shy little thing to promise to come out and play, and Pinkie had come to collect.

She was almost at the door, but her bouncing continued unabated. There was no need for her to knock, right? Fluttershy knew she was coming, and there was some funky green light creeping from under the door that she couldn’t wait to investigate. Maybe Fluttershy and the animals were having a party?

“Heeey there, Fluttershyyyooh.”

Bursting through the door, Pinkie ground to a halt as she took in the scene before her. The green light was fading and there, the last vestiges of her fur retreating into her chitinous carapace, was…

“Ah! Changeling! A changeling ate Fluttershy! Sound the alarm! Ring the bells! Somebody heeelp!”

As Pinkie’s alarums increased in intensity, the insectile creature waved its claws frantically and spoke in a familiar voice. “Um, please, Pinkie, calm down! It’s me, I swear, it’s Fluttershy!”

Pinkie pointed dramatically at the changeling, and it cringed in fear. “You can’t fool me Mr. Changeling-face! I know my Fluttershy, and she’s a pony through-and-through!”

“No, please, listen, I… I have something to tell you.”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes and slowly, ever so slowly, sat back on her haunches. “Oookaaay. I’m listening. But don’t think I haven’t got my eye on you.” To emphasise her point, she drew an imaginary line from her eye to the creature in front of her.

The changeling sighed and looked into Pinkie’s eyes sadly. “The truth is, Pinkie… I’m a changeling. I’ve never been a true pony, since the day we met. It’s a… long story, but when I was young, I had to disguise myself as a pony at flight camp and… well… then I met Rainbow, and I couldn’t just leave her behind when my mission was over, and…” A slick tear rolled down Fluttershy’s cheek. “I’m so sorry for lying to you all this time. I’ve felt so horrible for so long, but I love you so much, honestly, and-”

She was interrupted by Pinkie’s forelegs wrapping around her in a tight hug, and she sniffed in surprise as Pinkie spoke, her voice as bubbly as ever.

“Oh, silly filly. Just ‘cos you’re a weirdo insecto-pony doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, right? All it means is that the Fluttershy we thought was Fluttershy was just the Fluttershy you were pretending to be! If there’s another Fluttershy, that’s like having a whole new friend and the old one into the bargain! Isn’t that great?”

Flutterling leant into the hug and smiled. “Thanks, Pinkie. But…” She gently pushed her friend away. Pinkie cocked her head in confusion. Flutterling stepped back and reached for her head.

“Uh, Fluttershy? What’s the dealio?”

“I’m sorry, Pinkie, but I haven’t been completely honest with you. You see…”

Flutterling pressed her hoof into her forehead, and her insectile form shimmered and crackled before vanishing into nothing. The fading image revealed gleaming metal and whirring cogs, and two gleaming lamps gazed at Pinkie unblinking.

“I’m actually a robot. I had to disguise myself as a changeling so my creator couldn’t find me and destroy me. I’m so sorry for deceiving you.”

Pinkie laughed. “Oh, Fluttershy. How could you ever think I’d be mad at you?! Whether you’re a robot or a changeling or whatever, you’re still my bestest best friend! You had your reasons, and that’s okey dokey with me!”

Flutterbot glanced about the room and her hinged jaw twisted in uncertainy. “You’re so kind, Pinkie, but…”

A previously-concealed hatch opened on her back, and a loud buzzing sound filled the room. The light left Flutterbot’s eyes and a cloud of flitting darkness emerged from her interior. It took the vague form of a pegasus as it hovered over the metal frame now clanking lifeless to the floor.

“I’m actually a mindswarm.”

Pinkie stared. “You’re a what-now?”

Flutterswarm shook its head and sighed, its voice still the same old Fluttershy Pinkie knew and loved. “I’m a, um, composite being of a million minds, all acting together to form the circuits of a greater, um, whole. I need the robot to interact physically with your kind. I hope you can still accept me.”

Pinkie’s smile leapt back into place. “Flutters, even if you’re some crazy-wazy beehive thingy, you’re still my friend! No need to worry about any judgement from this Pinkie!”

Flutterswarm held a hoof to its nebulous chest and the suggestion of a smile appeared on its shifting features. “Oh, thank goodness. I suppose I can reveal, um, my true form.”

There was a flash of blue light and the cloud of darkness coalesced into a single mote of incandescence, which burst into radiance before taking the form of a serene, hovering pony.

“Um, I’m actually a Shining Emissary of The Wailing Ones. The mindswarm is, um, one of my powers. I have to maintain a corporeal form for most of the time or, um, I’ll dissipate back into the Searing Aether. And then I, um…” The gleaming spectre bowed its head shyly. “I wouldn’t be able to spend time with you.”

Pinkie massaged her temple with a hoof. “Okay, this is getting kinda weird but… you know what? Even after all this silly stuff, you’re Fluttershy underneath, right?”

Flutteremissary sighed with relief. I suppose now I can tell you the truth.”

There was a burst of light once more and Pinkie had to blink furiously to regain her eyesight. As the spots cleared, she saw…

“Hey there, me!” Pinkie Pie waved at Pinkie cheerily.

“I… you… what?!”

FlutterPinkie chuckled. “Heh, bet you didn’t see this one coming! I’m actually you from another dimension! Weird, isn’t it! But there’s some baaad mojo going down in my world, so I had to pretend to be someone else! I’m really sorry for all this crazy stuff, Pinkie. I feel super bad for lying to you.”

Pinkie stared blankly at herself for a few moments, opening and closing her mouth as she tried to process everything she had just seen. Then the horrible truth hit her.

“So… you mean… Fluttershy was never…?”

Her doppelganger stepped closer, face a mask of sorrow. “I’m sorry, Pinkie. Fluttershy was just somepony I made up. She was just an… an identity I used to hide from the bad guys. I’m really sorry.”

They stood for a moment in silence, in apology and in mourning. Then, suddenly, a nearby table spoke.

“Um, actually…”

~~~~~

Note: I don't even know what to say about this one. I love it. I'm not usually one to laugh at my own jokes but I was rolling while I brainstormed this. Okay, serious face. I'd say this one was probably my most blatant attempt at subversion yet. I was trying to think of a reveal that no one else would think of, when I realised that I didn't need to. All I had to do was have more reveals. And so this happened. In fact, the more I look at it, and at the word count, the more I realise I should have posted this one as its own story rather than Last Resort. Huh. 20/20 hindsight and all that.

Also 1029 (by GDoc's count) words in 29 minutes like a boss.

Fluttershy And Rarity’s Perfectly Ordinary Day Continues

Prompt #81: One of the Mane Six is bedridden

“Um, yes, as I was saying, Hair Flair was telling me that they’ve been secretly, um, walking out together for years now!”

Rarity sipped her tea and shook her head in disbelief. “Goodness, I never would have known! They certainly did hide it well!”

Fluttershy nodded. “Apparently Truestrike had been in love with Rapier Wit since, um, forever, but, well, Rapier is a bit… you know…” She blushed at the merest thought of implying that another pony was anything but perfect.

Rarity smiled kindly and finished her sentence for her. “Slow, darling. Funny, really, when you consider-”

“Rarity! Fluttershy! Thank goodness I’ve found you!”

The two ponies looked around in surprise and Rarity’s eyes widened as she looked over Fluttershy’s shoulder. “Twilight, dear, what in Equestria is the matter?”

As Fluttershy turned to face her too, Twilight galloped to their table and sank to her knees, breathing heavily. “Gotta find… Have you… Need to…”

Rarity raised a hoof placatingly. “Twilight, please calm down.”

Fluttershy nodded in agreement and peered over the table’s edge at the gasping Twilight. “Um, are you okay?”

Twilight took a few deep, heaving breaths, regaining her composure as fast as she could. She stood shakily and wiped her forehead. “Phew. Boy. I’m sorry, girls, I’m just in such a… Have you seen Rainbow Dash?”

Rarity cast a glance at Fluttershy - if anypony was likely to know the whereabouts of their brash friend, it was her. “I haven’t seen her… Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy shook her head and bit her lip nervously. “Um, no. Is… is something the matter?”

Twilight threw her head back and groaned. “Come ooon! Listen, it’s a long story, but I asked her to help out with a spell and, well… she’s bedridden.” She held up a hoof as her friends gasped and brought their hooves to their mouths in shock. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious. It’s just… well, you know Rainbow. I looked away for two minutes and she was gone!”

Fluttershy gave a worried half-smile. “Rainbow Dash never was very good with, um, hospitals…”

Twilight cocked her head in confusion. “Hospitals?” She shook her head. “No, there’s no time. I have to find her right away.” She galloped off, calling back as she went. “Don’t worry about her, I’ve got it handled!”

Rarity and Fluttershy gazed at their retreating friend until she disappeared into the nest of buildings that was Ponyville proper.

Rarity sighed and lifted her teacup magically once more. “I must say, Fluttershy, I wonder sometimes if Twilight and Rainbow Dash ever aren’t in some kind of trouble.”

Fluttershy giggled. “Oh, I don’t know. Some days they’re, um, too busy recovering from the trouble they’re already in.”

The two friends laughed. Rarity took another sip, allowing herself a moment’s surreptitious swilling to savour the flavour. Swallowing hurriedly before Fluttershy - distracted by a particularly playful butterfly - could notice, she continued. “So, when is the wedding?”

Fluttershy blinked and tore her attention from the butterfly and turned back to her friend. “Oh, um, I think it’s-”

“Fomepfony heeeeeeeeelpf!”

Rarity and Fluttershy both jumped at the sudden scream. Fluttershy huddled closer to the table as Rarity cast her gaze about her.

“Heeeeeeeeelpf!”

Fluttershy’s ears perked, and her eyes slowly followed the sound… upwards. “Um, that sounds like…”

Rarity followed Fluttershy’s gaze and, as she took in the scene in the sky, her mouth dropped open.

Above them, wings flapping desperately and juddering through the sky like a faulty gyro, was Rainbow Dash. The reason for the lack of her usual style and grace was readily apparent. A large four-poster bed, its wood warping and twisting as if it were alive, was sitting astride her, one spiky wooden hand clutching a whip and another the reins looped through Rainbow Dash’s mouth. With creaking arms it cracked the whip at Rainbow Dash, goading her onwards.

Rarity and Fluttershy watched wordlessly as the bizarre partnership rodeo’d their way toward Ponyville, following the same path Twilight had. They stared as Rainbow’s cries and the crack of the whip faded into nothing and the pair disappeared from sight.

There was a moment of blessed silence.

“Oh. I see.”

“Um… should we, maybe, um, help her?”

Rarity opened her mouth to speak, gave up, opened her mouth again, gave up again, then sighed and shrugged with as much decorum as she could muster. “I’m sure Twilight has the problem under control.”

Fluttershy looked uncertain, but took a sip of tea anyway. “So, um, Whiplash said the wedding is in two weeks…”

~~~~~

Note: This was another fun one. The prompt was in honour of Kyronea (one of the mods) having been ill recently so I wanted to make them laugh and... this happened. They liked it, though, so mission accomplished!

Also yay continuity. I've always loved the idea of a fic that's just two people at a bar or something and watching things happen. Maybe I should write that one day.

Faith

Prompt # 83: The Crusaders go crusading

“And this, children, is the most important statue of all!”

The gaggle of colts and fillies gathered at Red Ink’s hooves all stopped and gazed up in a mixture of fear and awe, a collective “Oooooooooh” filling the clearing in the park.

Red smiled to himself. This was his favourite part of the lesson, and he looked forward to it every year. What he taught, and what it meant for ponies throughout Equestria, filled him with pride.

“This statue is important because it represents that which we hold dearest to our hearts as a nation - friendship and determination. Now, can anyone tell me why it represents these things?”

An excitable hoof pierced the air with uncanny speed.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I know!”

Red chuckled. Quick Wit, as usual. His parents’ optimistic naming tendencies had proven prophetic as his school life had progressed, to the point where Red was considering moving him up a year. But that was a thought for another time. “Yes, Quick. Go ahead.”

“Um, because they never gave way, and they never gave in!”

“Very good, Quick! Straight from the Charter! The question is, do you know what it means?”

There was a pause. Red allowed himself a momentary glimmer of smugness, then immediately felt bad for relishing victory over a student. “Anyone? Can anypony tell me the meaning behind the Charter?”

Uncomfortable silence, broken only by the shuffling of hooves and the rustling of the gardens around them.

“Well, I suppose that means-”

“Um…”

Red blinked, surprised by the interruption. The voice was unfamiliar, yet…

Ah.

Red peered through the ranks of his class until he caught the flash of purple mane that indicated his most promising student. Hiding, as usual, the poor thing. He couldn’t blame her, due to her unfortunate…Well. Children were cruel, and did not fully understand the concepts taught by the document that so justly ruled their lives.

“Blue? Do you have something to say?”

“Um… I… I think I might, um, know what the Charter means… um… maybe…”

Red’s heart sank, as it did every time he spoke to her. Still Blue was a dear, one of the kindest and most loving fillies he had ever taught, but fate had dealt her the harshest of hands and she was too young, far too young, to deal with it. Triad knew she tried, though.

“Go on, Blue.”

“O-Okay. Um… I think the Charter is less, um, a list of rules and more, um, a way of life. It tells us how they lived and how we should strive to, um, follow their example.”

“Very good, Blue. That’s exactly right. Now-”

“And, um, that way is to always keep searching.”

Red stared. She was still talking. This was unprecedented. In three years, he had been unable to coax more than a sentence or two at a time from Blue and yet here she was, interrupting him.

“They saw how the world was and they realised it was unfair. So they searched and they, um, searched, and in the end they found the truth… That, um, our lives aren’t laid out for us by a name, and that we’re not defined by something vague and “special.” It’s, um, what we do with ourselves, and how we live our lives, that makes us who we are, and that’s… um… that’s…”

Red held up a hoof, nodding for her to stop. He could already feel the tears welling and he didn’t trust himself to listen any further. She was… perfect. She was so in tune with everything that made the Triad what they were that it shook him to his core. He would have to talk to her parents.

“Thank you, Blue, that was-”

“And, um, that, in the end…” Blue took a deep, trembling breath, then finished her proclamation with a final, desperate whisper, “… is the ultimate crusade. The crusade to find ourselves.”

Silence. Red took a slow step forward. The class parted, opening a path between him and the tiny white unicorn filly, her face hidden behind a wall of carefully-groomed mane. As he neared and she turned away in shame at her outburst, he could see the hated mark on her flank, the perfect tri-coloured triangle that symbolised everything Equestria was but took the form of everything it wasn’t. He reached her side, and knelt. She cautiously peeked from behind her mane, fearing retribution.

He looked into her eyes and said, “There is no shame in your curse, Still Blue. None. Whatever the Charter says about you, whatever ponies may say to you… It has made you the best of us. Always remember that.”

Biting his lip, he stood and wordlessly trotted towards the garden’s exit, beckoning limply for the class to follow him. They did so, muttering amongst themselves and casting glances at the shivering Blue. Eventually, she was alone.

She cried, briefly, cried for the life that had been denied to her and the freedom that, since she had first realised her calling, she could never regain. Her blurring vision found itself travelling to the statue and she sniffed, willing the tears to stop. Slowly, she trotted to the statue’s base.

She swallowed and, not sure of why, began to speak. “If… if you’re up there somewhere… I’m sorry. I wasn’t strong enough to find my own path. “ She glanced back at her flank, then back to the figures of legend above her. “But… I’ll get stronger. I’ll start my crusade… even if it’s already over.”

She turned and moved to follow her classmates’ trail, to follow them in their quest for identity and purpose. Behind her loomed the statues.

One unicorn. One pegasus. One earth pony.

Flanks blank and proud.

~~~~~

Notes: I... really don't know what to say about this one. I really like it. There's a story in there somewhere.

A Beautiful Heart

Prompt #84: The pony who holds Diamond Tiara’s heart

Still Blue wiped the sweat from her brow as she narrowed her eyes and focused her magic. The needle hovered before her, trembling slightly in the uneven grip of her shaky telekinesis. Slowly, very slowly, she lowered the gleaming metal sliver toward the fabric spread across the table.

“Okay, Blue… you can do this…”

The needle quivered as she took a deep breath and readied herself, then, in one fluid motion, it flashed into the fabric and back out again. Blue bit her lip and peered closer, praying that she had, just this once, gotten it right.

Perfect. Not a millimetre out of place. The needle fell as she released her magic and pranced joyfully.

“Yes!”

Her months of hard work were paying off. Maybe soon her magic would be back to normal, and she could while away the days making dresses once again, like she had done when she was but a filly.

She fell to her haunches and sighed happily, casting a quick glance around her small, plain room. It still needed tidying, scattered with failed practice fabrics and musty scrolls as it was, but that could wait. Briefly, bitterly, she considered not bothering at all, seeing how unlikely it was anyone would ever notice.

It had been years since anypony had visited her of their own accord. Even her parents had almost ceased contact, busy as they were with…

She snorted, cursing her own thoughts. They weren’t busy. They didn’t talk to her for the same reason nopony else talked to her.

Stupid mark.

She sullenly flicked her eyes at her flank, as she so often did. The tri-coloured triangle sat there as always, taunting her as it marked her for what she was. A freak. A reject. A failure.

Her reverie was broken by a furious hammering on her door. She jumped and leapt to her hooves, calling out nervously. Who could it be? Nopony visited her.

“Um, hello? W-what do you want?”

“Blue, you have to let me in! Please! It’s me, Red Ink!”

Blue’s mind reeled. Red Ink? Her teacher from kindergarten? She trotted to the door, still unsteady with surprise. Red’s banging continued.

“You can, um, stop that. I’m opening the door.”

With a twist of magic she probably couldn’t afford after her intensive needle practice, she swung the door open. Red Ink stumbled in, and she gasped. His maroon coat was was matted with blood, and his breath was hoarse and ragged. There was a deep cut across his right eye, which was tightly shut, and he was wearing tattered saddlebags, their stitching barely holding together.

She stepped back in horror as collapsed at her hooves. As he gasped in pain, she caught herself and moved closer, kneeling at his side. “By the Triad, are you alright?! What happened? I haven’t seen you in years!”

Red coughed thickly, scattering blood on the floor before him. “Oh, Blue, thank the Sun I’ve found you. You have to listen to me.” He reached back to his saddlebag, wincing in pain, but his weak hooves fell limply to the floor. Blue instinctively moved to help him, hesitating until he nodded. She reached into the bag and pulled out a gleaming gem, a diamond, no bigger than the quails’ eggs she had once tried in… happier times.

“What… what is this? What happened to you, sir?!”

Red smiled weakly, looking up at her. His speech came in fits and starts as he visibly fought to stay conscious. “It’s… not important. What’s important is… you have it now. Listen… very carefully… to what I say, Blue… Equestria… depends on it…”

She leant closer, the sharp smell of his blood growing stronger as he pulled himself up to whisper in her ear.

“In the same of the Sun, the Diamond’s will must be fulfilled.”

He sank back to the floor, breathing shallow and fading. Blue dropped the gem and pulled him to her, cradling him as he faded. In her youth, he had been the only pony to show her anything beyond contempt and dismay, and now he was dying in her room.

“Mr Ink, sir, please! What do you mean?! You can’t go! You can’t just reappear and then… and then…”

Red Ink looked blearily up at her as the tears welled in her eyes.

“Don’t worry, Blue… I said it before… You are the best of us… and the Triad were wrong…”

“Mr Ink! Please!”

Red Ink’s eyes drooped closed, and his voice faded into a rattling whisper.

“They were wrong… and she was right… Her heart… was in the right place…”

He lapsed into silence, and Blue felt his breathing stop. She held him tight and cried for the only pony who had ever understood her, missing so long from her life and gone the moment he returned.

Behind her, the gem glinted in the midday sunlight piercing her grimy window. Within, something moved, the faintest glimmer of some strange life. The flitting shadows marked the shape cut into the diamond’s surface, a shape that could only be found in one other place anywhere in Equestria, on a statue in the palace gardens.

A stylised tiara, shining from within.

Note: It's strange how things work out. I was pondering ways in which I could expand "Faith," and then the very next day, the prompt is Diamond Tiara! So... this happened. I guess if this were a full fic, "Faith" would've been the prologue. The Still Blue here is obviously older, somwhere in the region of a young adult. She's a little more jaded, a little more bitter, but... she's come to terms. People can get used to anything, even being alone.

Bullies

Prompt #84: The pony who holds Diamond Tiara’s heart

Diamond Tiara sullenly kicked the front door of her house open and stomped into the hall, calling loudly.

“Mom! Dad!”

When there was no reply, she rolled her eyes and trotted further into the house, checking the parlours one by one.

“Where are you?”

Still nothing.

“Ugh.”

She gave up, tramping up the stairs angrily and storming into her room, slamming the door behind her. She threw herself onto her bed and stared at the pastel ceiling, muttering to herself.

“Stupid blank-flank Crusaders… Not my fault their dumb column made ponies upset… Don’t see why I should get covered in ink…”

Her muttering trailed away. Anger had sustained her this long, taking her from school to the river, where she had washed herself to keep her parents from seeing her dirtied, then back to her house. She had hoped to find some sympathy, perhaps a little light pampering, but… nothing. No doubt her parents were at some stupid business meeting.

She rolled onto her front and sighed. She tried to block the memories, the laughing faces of the other children and the burning shame in her chest, but she was alone with nothing to distract her. She closed her eyes and whimpered quietly.

“Why does no one like me?”

“It’s because you’re so heartless, my little pony.”

Diamond Tiara jumped, squeaking in fright as the smooth voice caught her by surprise. Her eyes snapped to the long mirror propped against one wall, and she bit her lip as she saw the familiar inky blackness swirling across its surface. She got up carefully from her bed and trotted to the mirror, making sure not to stand too close.

“W-what do you want?”

In the murky emptiness that was all the mirror now showed, the faint silhouette of a pony blurred into view. “The same thing I always want, Diamond. For three little ponies to be laughed out of town.”

Diamond Tiara harrumphed, her haughty exterior not hiding the fear that clutched at her. “Well, that’s too bad. As usual, they pulled some stupid trick to make themselves look good, and I got ink all over me.”

The shadow hissed quietly in frustration. “Yet again you, fail, little one. How many times has it been now? I cannot tell you how important it is that these fillies are dealt with. So much more than you know depends on it.”

Diamond Tiara stuck out her tongue. “Well, tough. It didn’t work. You’ll just have to de-”

“Don’t talk down to me.” The shadow was suddenly right in front of her, a solid blackness stretching from the mirror to almost touch her face. She could feel the air buzz with its impossible presence, and and she shuddered even as she cringed in fear. “I still have it, you know.”

Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened in horror. “No, please, don’t do anything to it!”

The shadow smiled as it retreated slowly back into the mirror, a brilliant white line of teeth scoring its featureless face. It lifted a forehoof and a gleaming speck of light shimmered into existence. “See? I’m holding it right now. I could do whatever I want with it.”

Diamond backed away, shaking her head. “No, I’ll do whatever you say, just don’t-”

The shadow set the speck of light on what passed for ground on the mirror’s edge and stepped on it, hard.

Diamond Tiara screamed, clamping her hooves over her mouth as she sank to her knees. No one could hear, or the shadow would punish her more later. The pain in her chest was unbearable, a combination of searing agony and terrible wrongness, like something inside was sucking all that was good from her soul.

The shadow lifted its hoof and picked the spark back up, tossing it lightly into the air to vanish into whatever strange dimension the shadow used to store it. Diamond Tiara gasped as the uncompromising sensation diminished, and she pulled herself to her hooves, tears pricking at her eyes. “What… what do you want me do?”

The shadow’s monochrome grin flashed once more. “I think its time to get more… dangerous. Your childish games have accomplished nothing, and time is growing short.”

Diamond Tiara nodded silently, clenching her teeth. How had it come to this? How had this… thing taken such a hold on her life? She looked up at the shadow as it began to fade, her room starting to retake its place in the mirror’s pane. “I’ll do whatever you want, just… please… Let me have it back. Have a heart, and let me have it back.”

The shadow laughed, a cruel, ironic bark dwindling slowly away.

“Have a heart? Why? I’ve already got yours.”

Note: I was feeling a little bad about doing a continuation, and it felt like it was twisting the prompt a little far, so... I did two submissions! This one was one of those "I've only got an hour left uuuuh" ideas, when I think and think and think and then suddenly, when I only have 40 minutes left, I have an idea and blitz the whole thing out. I think did quite well on this one, actually. I think the feeling of danger is much more pronounced than in, say, "Fairy Tales."

Also lol, it turned into another Triad thing. It's a fun universe to think about, and the best part about it is that I have no idea where it's going! I'm interested to see what happens when a story writes itself.

That Time Of Day Again

Prompt #88: Twilight Sparkle builds a time machine

The door opened to reveal Twilight Sparkle, smiling broadly and twitching in that special way she had when truly excited. “Rarity! You’re here! Come in, please!”

Rarity smiled and nodded, stepping through the door into the library as Twilight practically leapt out of her way. “Of course I’m here, darling, it’s that time of day again, isn’t it? I can’t very well teach you to dance if I’m not here, can I?”

Twilight laughed nervously. “Uh, no, I guess not. But I have something more important to show you today!”

Rarity blinked in surprise. More important than their lessons? This was unusual. Since the debacle at the Sweet Apple Acres All-Comers Hoedown, Twilight had been intent on learning to dance, and had been focused on their sessions with an almost worrying fervour. What could possibly be-

“Quick, it’s downstairs!”

Ah. The lab. Of course. Twilight had some new invention, and Rarity was in the right place at the right time. She sighed. She had been enjoying her time with Twilight thoroughly these past few weeks, but it looked like their usual schedule was to be interrupted by gadgetry and… ugh… science.

The musty cosyness of the library gave way to the acrid heat of the lab as they descended into the basement, and Rarity wrinkled her nose in distaste. She was all for progress, but did it have to be so… unpleasant in development?

Twilight was ahead of her, almost cantering in her excitement. She moved quickly to a desk covered in papers and a strange-looking box, prancing on the spot with barely-contained glee. “Look, Rarity, look! It’s finished! My time machine!”

Rarity’s mouth dropped open. Had she heard correctly? “A… You’ve built a time machine?”

Twilight’s grin intensified. “I have. Look at it!”

Rarity stepped closer and leaned over the box. She gazed into the crystal face of the stubby wooden device, ready to witness things she could never have imagined… then stopped.

“Twilight.”

Twilight’s smile widened. “Yes?”

“… This is a clock.”

Twilight froze. “I… no. It’s a time machine. You get it? Because…”

“Because it’s a machine that tells the time?”

“I… yes. I mean, strictly, it’s an Incremental Passionate Chronometer, but I thought it would be… Just look closer!”

Rarity returned her gaze from Twilight’s rapidly falling expression to the clock, trying to find something that would make everything make sense. The box itself was crudely nailed together - Twilight had never been one for fine craftsmanship. There were buttons arranged along its edge, and the face seemed to include a tiny calendar. While it seemed like a particularly useful clock, it was also… just a clock.

“I’m sorry, darling, but I just can’t see why you thought this was worth…” She trailed off as she realised tears were welling in her friend’s eyes, and she put the IPC down. “Twilight, whatever is the-”

“It doesn’t matter! I knew it. I knew this was a stupid idea!”

Without warning, Twilight turned and galloped back upstairs, leaving Rarity standing alone and stunned. After a moment’s silence, Rarity glanced about the lab. Had she missed something? Had Twilight been trying to pass along some far-too-subtle message? The poor dear still had trouble interacting, sometimes…

Idly, her eyes landed on the clock’s face again. Then they widened in realisation, and she lifted a hoof to her heart.

“Oh, Twilight…”

The clock had no numbers. Where the hours of the day would normally be laid out, Twilight had instead laid out her personal schedule. The two hours they spent each day on dancing lessons were clearly marked Rarity Time. The entire rest of the day was denoted by Not Rarity Time.

Tentatively, Rarity reached toward the clock and pressed a button. The tiny calendar flipped, changing to tomorrow’s date. Again, Rarity Time and Not Rarity Time. She pushed the button again and again, and every day the same thing. She felt the tears coming and blinked them back furiously.

If Twilight only knew…

~

Twilight threw herself onto her bed, burying her head into the pillow. It was trite and puerile, but she just didn’t care. She’d ruined everything, all because she was trying to be funny with some dumb joke.

There was a knock on the door.

“Go away, Spike. Not now.”

Another knock.

“Spike, just… leave me alone for now, okay?”

Silence. Good. She felt bad for sending him away, but right… she needed to be alone. Alone with her stupid bad-joke-making chances-ruining idiot self.

She heard the door click open, and the creaking of her floorboards. She buried her head deeper in the pillow, trying to ignore it. If Spike wanted her that badly, he’d have to fight for it.

Something touched her gently on the shoulder, and she shrugged it away. Not that easy, little dragon. The something touched her again, and she gritted her teeth, lifting her head from the pillow and sitting up angrily.

“I told you, Spike, I’m busy… right… now…” Her anger faded as she realised that it had been a hoof, not a claw, that had interrupted her self-pity.

Their lips met, and Twilight was gripped with sudden fear. Was this real? This couldn’t be real. But as the moment didn’t end and their tongues entwined, she shivered in unexpected delight. This was actually happening. She lost herself in the kiss, almost crying with relief that at last, just this once, she’d gotten it right.

At last they broke apart, and Twilight struggled to speak.

“Rarity, I-”

A hoof tenderly touched her lips, silencing her, before gently pushing her onto her back. Rarity stood over her and smiled.

“Shh, now. It’s me o’clock, remember?”

Note: Oh snap, I just shipped Twilight and Rarity. AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME. But no, I enjoyed this one. I say that for all of them. I enjoy all of them. Anyway. This is, in fact, the first straight-up actual shipping I've ever written, would you believe it? Bearded Lust doesn't count because... yknow. Anyway, it was interesting crossing that line, because I had to think about character and stuff in a way I hadn't before. It hasn't come out that well because I still haven't learned how to establish, complicate and develop an arc in 1k words, and I think everyone who's read Forced Introspection know how bad my grip on emotional writing is. But I think it's kinda sweet, at least.

With Surprising Skill

Prompt #126:

Twilight stepped onto the dance floor. Time stopped.

Rarity stared through the crowds that no longer seemed ot be moving, stared at the awkward librarian that had so changed her life. The dress that shouted to the world the hours of toil behind it, the lips that whispered silent promises for the evening to come, and the eyes that said all they needed to say.

Twilight hadn't seen her yet. She wanted to call out, to scream over the unbroken note of the frozen band, but her breath had caught and her heart was no longer beating. She could nothing but drink in the sight of Twilight at her absolute finest. She had tried harder tonight than she had ever tried...

And it was all for her.

Twilight's questing gaze finally found her, and she smiled shyly. Time came rushing back, the rumble of the crowd and the sparkle of the music washing over Rarity as sensation returned. She blinked, shaking her head quickly to clear the swiftly-spun cobwebs of love from her mind and focus on the night at hand. Twilight was trotting towards her and Rarity was seized by uncharacteristic panic. How did Twilight do this to her? All her carefully constructed self-assurances, all her safeguards against the demons within, were but petals in the wind when that one silly grin was flashed her way.

Was her mane okay? Had she worn the right dress? What should she open the conversation with? Should she let Twilight start? Was the Gala even a good idea? What if everything went wrong aga-

"Rarity! You look…amazing."

Twilight was standing before her now and suddenly everything was right with the world. Rarity tossed her mane and rolled her eyes.

"Of course I do, dear, it's what I do."

Twilight giggled, and Rarity felt herself becoming real again.

"I suppose it is. So, um…what's the plan?"

Rarity faltered for a moment. What was the plan? As Twilight glanced around the cavernous ballroom, biting her lip in indecision in that way that set Rarity's mind aflame, she panicked and blurted, "Dancing! Y-yes. Shall we dance?"

Twilight blushed as she glanced back at the dance floor, at the couples resting heads on necks and, in some of the more secluded corners, lips on lips. "Um, sure."

They trotted to the centre of the floor where the crowd was thickest, clutching at privacy amongst the gently swaying crowd. They stood for a moment, uncertain of how to begin, until Twilight unexpectedly took the lead and, after a few false starts on Rarity's part, they danced together beneath the flickering chandeliers.

Rarity closed her eyes, letting the feeling of Twilight's neck on hers spread through her as Twilight's skilful hooves led them through the simple yet elegant steps of the waltz.

Hang on.

Memory reared its fuzzy head in the back of Rarity's mind, trying to make itself heard. Another party in Canterlot, not months ago. A birthday party. Twilight's birthday party. Slowly, she opened her eyes as the memory formed. Terrible music, terrible embarrassment, and most of all...

"Twilight…when did you get so good at dancing?"

The great glass windows of the ballroom shattered, showering the room in glass. The crowd screamed and cowered, huddling to protect themselves from the glinting rain as blinding searchlights tore through the darkness outside.

"THE ENTITY CURRENTLY REFERRING TO ITSELF AS TWILIGHT SPARKLE, COME OUT WITH YOUR APPENDAGES EXTENDED AND YOUR FORM NEUTRAL."

Rarity stumbled forward as Twilight suddenly leapt away from her, snarling at the glaring beams illuminating her.

"Never! I escaped once, I'll escape again!"

With a flash of green light, Twilight was replaced by a tall, insectile creature dripping with ichor. Rarity gasped with horror as the changeling queen hissed at her pursuers. Before she could react any further, a swarm of guards entered the room from every direction, leaping through windows and rappelling from balconies. The queen screeched and fire bolts of green light wildly about her, but the guards moved with textbook precision and within moments had erected a magicl barrier around her.

Shining Armour vaulted into the room, trotting purposefully to the barrier and adding his own power to it, leaving the creature powerless in the face of his impenetrable magic.

"Sorry, Chrysalis. But your plans..."

He winced at the glare of the searchlights and levitated a pair of sunglasses to his eyes.

"…have changed."

The crowd burst into applause, the hoarse "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH" of a flexing white pegasus joining the cacophany. Shining Armour nodded to the crowd.

"Don't worry, folks, we'll soon get your party back up and running."

Not ten minutes later, the Gala was back in full swing, abuzz with talk of Chrysalis' attempted infiltration. The general consensus was that letting Chrysalis in in the first place had been far made up for by the Guard's swift response, and several notable luminaries made mental notes to pay a few more taxes this year.

Rarity stood numbly at the edge of the crowd, mouth still opening and closing in an attempt to in some way respond to the whole blasted situation. She barely noticed when Twilight Sparkle, wearing a plain yellow dress knocked together in an evening, appeared at her side.

"Hey, Rarity! Sorry I'm late."

Rarity turned and stared blankly at her, and Twilight cocked her head in confusion.

"Uh, you okay, Rarity?"

Rarity blinked.

"I…Yes, I…Um..."

Twilight gave her odd look, then shrugged.

"Well, it's great to see you tonight! I'll let you finish what you're doing. For now, I'm going to get some dancing in."

She swaggered onto the dance floor and, with a toss of her mane and a flick of her tail, flung herself into action.

Notes: Woo, I'm doing TMPs again! I went away for a weekend and fell out of the habit and... well, it took me 40-odd days to get back into it. Oops. Anyways, this was the result. I had a lot of trouble reaching a start point with this one, because I simply cannot work from a picture. In the end it took me creating my own SUB-prompt of "Twilight stepped onto the dance floor. Time stopped," to actually get anywhere, although I suppose you could say that that never would've happened if the gif didn't exist so... Anyways, yeah, another silly one. I haven't done something straight-up silly for a while, so it was nice to just, I don't know, have Shining Armour lead a SWAT team to take down Chrysalis then pull a Caine in the middle of an entirely unrelated shipping story. Hope you enjoyed it!

No Artificial Additives

Prompt #130:

“Big Mac?”

Cheerilee leaned closer, the look in her eyes indecipherable to the Crusaders.

“Eeyup?”

Again Cheerilee’s weight shifted, bringing her lips closer and closer to Mac’s. The Crusaders watched with eager glee. Their plan was working! Miss Cheerilee and Mac would be very special someponies within moments, and Hearts and Hooves Day would be a success.

Cheerilee and Mac were almost touching now. The music played, the birds sang, and the sun seemed to shine brighter, as if urging the two on. The world held its breath, and the Crusader’s eyes and smiles widened in delight. Just one more inch! Just one more tiny, insignificant, momentary inch and...

“You have something stuck in your teeth.”

Sweetie threw her hooves up and stood…

“Let me get it for you.”

Sweetie Belle froze, then sank slowly back into hiding.

The Crusaders looked on.

A minute later, they began to blush.

Five minutes later, they were whispering furiously.

Ten minutes later, they couldn’t tear their eyes away.

Twenty minutes later, they were trying to work out just how that was possible.

An hour later, they were drifting off to sleep.

Two hours later, Scootaloo nudged Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom frantically, hissing, “Look! They’re asleep! This is our chance to slip away!” The three fillies turned to creep from the bush’s confines, but before they could move, they heard Cheerilee’s voice.

“One more time?”

“OH, COME ON!”

Notes: I'm sorry, I couldn't think of anything! But yknow, this was fun. The joke didn't quite come out as well I wanted it to but, yknow, it's kind of a giggle and I wrote words. That's the ultimate goal in the first place, so I call it a victory.

Sleeper

Prompt #132: Sleeper

In the time before, we ate what we were given. We crawled under the whips. We looked up at the sun and it looked back with empty eyes, too distant even for disdain. We said nothing when our foals were taken, nor when they returned, whip held high. The empire spread, and so did our pain. But we did nothing.

But one day…I did. I slipped my chains, my hunger my saviour, and fled to the shadows. I joined those others living in the embrace of the moon, and they whispered change. I begged to join them, but the moon had other plans. I was needed for something else. Something more.

In the time before, the sun never set, yet I would sleep the sleep of ages.

~

In the time after, I awoke. I stumbled to the palace to find it in ruins. They found me weeping for my people. I was taken to the new palace, the home of both sun and moon. The moon greeted me with joy, and the sun stood nervously behind her. She was different. Closer. Without my noticing, the whips began to fade.

I ate what I liked. I strode above the city. I looked to the sun and moon and they smiled. I laughed as the foals gaped at me, the pony from the past. Life went on, and I did everything.

Then, one day, the sun called me to her chambers. We talked, as we had many times, of times to come, and of times best forgotten. She thanked me for my service, for my silence, and asked if there was anything she could give me. I looked into her eyes, and for the first time in years I felt the whips.

In the time after, the moon never sets.

Notes: This was another "I can't think of anything" story. Norse Pony was getting all up in my grill because it was his prompt, and I couldn't say no, so I threw this out (<3 u, Norse). But it's fun, and it has precisely the bullshit pseudo-history mysticism I was aiming for. So... go me!.

Bestiary

Prompt #146: Tell me a story about a mythical creature that lives in Equestria. Preferably something that hasn’t been seen in the show yet.

“Now come, my foals, and sit with me,

just here beneath the moon,

For you are older than you were, you see,

and even older soon.

-

There comes a time, a certain age,

when we learn of things we shouldn’t,

Things once trapped upon the page,

‘til those that guarded couldn’t.

-

You see, Equestria has dangers too,

and both of you must know it,

‘Else not just I, but you and you,

will have the scars to show it.

-

So listen close and fold your wings,

please listen close and well,

I will tell you of the nameless things,

that in the elsewhere dwell.

-

The Hissing Thing, it preys at night,

when moon is bright it walks,

But only in your waking sight,

outside of sleep it stalks.

-

The Beast of Many Eyes is blind,

a sad old thing, it’s true,

But leave the Sun’s domain behind,

it learns to see through you.

-

The Markless Ones, beyond our walls,

they swarm and breed unchecked,

They crawl within their seeping halls,

in stolen destiny bedecked.

-

But though these things be fearful wrong,

all creatures weird and vile,

The last is worst, its evil strong,

and watching all the while.

-

I speak, of course, of That Which Sings,

no more than maw and hate,

Its whispers of the sweetest things,

its clacking jaws a gate.

-

The reason you must fear, my dears,

is not the poisonous bite,

But what it takes, the space it clears,

its violence wrought in spite.

-

For That Which Sings is not a beast,

nor a Dark One from above,

It is a need, the need to feast,

and it was born of love.

-

So guard yourselves and guard your hearts,

and never doubt or lie.

For if we do not do our parts,

our race will surely die.”

Author's Note

What? I wrote a poem? So sue me!

I don't know, at the time (and still now I guess) I had a bit of a thing about that capital letters, vague, That Which Is Unusual method of mythology.

I am quite proud of the bit about That Which Sings. I think that's really good.

Lights From The Past

Prompt #242: Whatever happened to Rainbow Dash?

“Mama?”

“Mmm?”

“Where do the pictures in the stars come from?”

Sooth Words looked up from her book, surprise furrowing her brow with good-natured curiosity. “That’s an odd question, little one. Why do you ask?” She smiled as her daughter shrugged without turning to face her, her gaze still fixed on the twinkling heavens.

“Iunno. I like them. But I think it’s kind of weird that they’re there.”

With a chuckle, Sooth let her magic fade, gently placing the book on the table beside her daughter’s bed before moving to sit by the window. Her daughter sat back from the window, nestling into the warmth of her mother’s side while keeping her eyes fixed on the worlds above them. Sooth thought for a moment before speaking.

“I can tell you about one of them, if you want, but there’s a bit of a story attached. It’s something of a history lesson. Is that what you want before bed?”

Her daughter nodded enthusiastically, yawning even as she did so. Sooth smiled again and shifted her weight on the soft quilt until she and her daughter were comfortable, resting against the headboard in such a way that they could comfortably watch the stars as she talked.

“Well, then. It starts long, long ago, in the time of the Triad. There was a pony, you see, a pony filled with pride. She was strong, and courageous, and would never, ever abandon her friends. But she knew this, and so she went her own way, and this sometimes put her odds with the other ponies. But they loved her nonetheless, and she loved them.

Now, this pony lived in the same village as the Triad. She played with them, taught them, helped them search for their marks. Of course, this was before the Charter. But then the Triad made their journey, Three Foals Walking In The Dark, and they returned to their village with the Charter in hoof.”

“Mama, why are you talking like that?”

“It’s a story, dear, but an important one. You have to tell it with respect. Now… where was I?”

“The Charter.”

Oh, of course! Ah, the things the Charter said and says! it changed us, little one, changed our entire world, and the way we saw it. For years we had been in thrall to the cutie mark, to unthinking adherence to the path life laid out for us. But the Triad showed us the other way, the better way.

Anyway, the Charter, naturally, changed everything. The village became the most important village in the world, because it was where the Charter was. Ponies came and went with every passing hour, the movement spreading far and wide. Before long, the Unmarking was developed, and on that day every pony was given the Choice. For you see, even now we respect the gravity of the decision they made. They cut themselves free from the safety of destiny and leapt, with nothing to support them but their own flailing fates, into the sea of free will. And do you know how many ponies agreed?”

“Um… most, right?”

“Every single one, my dear. On that day, the first day of the Free Times we now live in, every single pony alive agreed as one to undergo the Unmarking and change our fate, to allow our fate to be changed, forever.

Except one.”

As she whispered the last, she extended a hoof to the sky, which her daughter eagerly followed.

“You see there, between the Ursa Birthing Grounds and the Raised Barn? That is The Marked. Can you guess who she is?”

There was a moment’s silence before her daughter gasped in delighted realisation, evidently pleased at her own acuity. “The proud pony at the beginning of the story!”

Sooth ruffled her daughter’s mane proudly and smiled down at her. “That’s right! Well done! I’m glad you still pay attention when I tell stories!” As she paused, summoning the words for the rest of her story, her face became solemn. “The Marked did not agree. She spat anger at her friends, at the Triad. ‘How could you do this?’ she cried. ‘How could you throw away what makes us special, what makes each and every one of us unique?’

The Triad of course, replied, saying ‘We were not unique! We were all trapped in the chains of our birth! Our lives were spent working toward an invisible goal set for us at the moment we came into existence! Now we are free, to live our lives as we see fit!’ But The Marked scoffed and turned away. She could not, or would not, understand.

But as she turned her back on the ponies she loved, on the world that had embraced an impossibility she could not accept, she fought back tears. For she was loyal, the Marked, loyal beyond reckoning, and she could hardly bring herself to take the first step.

At last, as her closest friends silently watched her, she took step, and every step thereafter was easier. She walked, and then she ran, and then she flew, tears streaming down her face. She flew as far as she could, until she reached the end of the world, and then she flew up, and up, and up, and up, and up, until…”

Sooth hesitated, the emotion of the story catching in her throat. Her daughter stared into her eyes, enraptured.

“Until?!”

“Nopony knows. She was never seen again. But the very next night, there was a new picture in the stars, and the magic of the Six was broken, and the monsters stepped out of the shadows. And that is why, when the light catches the rain just so and the air is filled with colour, we curse The Marked, because she destroyed Harmony with her pride.”

Her daughter’s mouth hung open. Sooth stroked her mane absentmindedly before gathering herself and finishing her story.

“And that is the story of that picture in the sky, little one.”

Her daughter let out a huge breath, seeming almost exhausted by the weight of history her mother had just laid upon her. Within moments, however, her awe seemed to fade, replaced by the quick, curious expression Sooth had come to at once adore and dread.

“But… wasn’t… wasn’t The Marked right?”

Sooth froze. What?

“I mean… She chose her own path.”

“Little one, I’m not sure that’s-”

“Because, you see, everyone was acting as one, right? Nopony wanted a cutie mark because they meant we were en… enthralled to them, but then they all said ‘Okay, we’re all going to do exactly the same thing, and follow the Triad.’ And they all did exactly what the Charter said. Isn’t that the same?”

“No, you see-” But her daughter seemed unable to stop, the words spilling from her with the terrible power of certainty.

“So The Marked was doing exactly what you said she should be. She was being loyal, and she was choosing her own path. She brought the monsters back, but she did it by herself, because it’s what she thought was the right thing to do. Isn’t that what free will is all about?”

There was an awful silence. Sooth stared open-mouthed at her daughter. How… how could she speak such words? What had she done, what terrible mistake had me made in assigning her studies? But before she could recriminate herself further, a faint glow caught her eye. It came from her daughter’s flank. Icy fear dripped down her spine.

“Little one… turn around.”

“Why? Is there somethi-”

“Turn around, little one!”

Her daughter, fearful of her mother’s vehemence, slowly shuffled around, and into the light slowly emerged.

“Oh… oh, please, no…”

On her daughter’s flank was a shape, a splash of colour contrasting her cool blue fur. A tri-coloured triangle.

A cutie mark.

“Mama? What is it? What’s this? Is this a…”

Sooth leapt forward and clasped her daughter tightly to her as she cried out in anguish and she gasped great sobs of sorrow.

“Oh, my baby! You are cursed, doomed! How could I let this happen?! I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry, Still Blue…”

As Sooth’s tears soaked into her daughter’s mane, and her daughter quaked under the weight of discovered destiny, and the sun began to rise, sending gentle light across the hills of Equestria just so…

It began to rain.

Author's Note

OH MAN AUTHOR'S NOTES

Yes it's been that long since I updated anything.

Anyway, this was one I ended up really liking. It just clicked. Every now and then you do something that you just LIKE. Plus it's my first TMP in forever and they (or Kyronea at least) were super positive about it. So yknow.

Also straight copy-pasting, 30min typos and all.

Episode 26 - Java Joy Something To Do With Mazinkaiser

Prompt #247: Write a story featuring one (or more) of the following original characters. Everything but the name is up to you, including race, gender, appearance, cutie mark, and personality. Feel free to include any other original or canon characters alongside them.

OC #1: Wishing Star

OC #2: Java Joy

OC #3: Rock Solid

“You still thirsty for punishment?! Try a smackaccino!”

Java Joy’s hoof impacted with the Gribbly’s face with a slap like a wet mattress hitting gravel, and the barely-equine blob crumpled to the ground. Around her, more of the grey foes flolloped into battle from the edges of the town square..

“Tch, you guys don’t know when to give up. Solid! How’s it going over there?!”

Her call rang out over the gobbling cries of the Gribblies, and the massive form of Rock Solid, three ponies high if he was an inch and twice as thick, rumbled in response.

“Doin’ okay, Java. Just gotta…” He swung a foreleg ponderously and hurled full twenty Gribblies across the plaza, their amorphous forms splattering against the walls of Sugarcube Corner. “Just gotta squish some more squishies.”

Java nodded with satisfaction, even as two Gribblies pincered her. With a flick of her wings she tossed two cups of searing brown liquid into the faces of the globbling blobs, and winced as they melted into nothing. They felt no pain, being only mindless servants of their nemesis, but sometimes she still felt the burn as they died.

Her moment of compassion betrayed her, and a group she hadn’t been expecting leapt on her from behind. Crushed under the heaving mass of wobbling black fleshstuff, she fell to the ground, the Gribblies pawing at her mouth and limbs in an effort to smother or break her. The pressure made her gasp for breath.

“Gah… it’s like a cafetière, and I’m the beans! Wish! Help!”

Above her, meditating on the roof of the Town Hall, sat Wishing Star, who looked down in horror at Java’s predicament.

“Joy! Are you okay?!”

Java gritted her teeth. Wish, it seemed was having one of those days.

“Yes, Wish, I am fine. The mass of Gribblies… crushing my lungs is something… I was looking forward to!”

Gathering herself, Wishing Star placed her front hooves together, muttering to herself. Java groaned in a combination of pain and exasperation. The Gribblies were still piled atop her, but luckily their nemesis had neglected to give them anything along the lines of, say, a coherent physical form.

“Please, do something this time!”

Wish opened her eyes, breaking free of her trance, and scowled.

“I’m wishing you free. That’s what I do.”

Java headbutted the ground.

“Aaaargh!” Giving up on her friend, whose wishes were fabled in story and song for being selfless, poetic, and entirely useless, she rolled with all her strength to the side and tossed a few of the Gribblies off. Reaching into her pack, she desperately pulled free a sachet of her deadliest creation, ripping the seal free with her teeth and catching a short, glorious whiff of the volatile beans within.

“I think it’s time… for a shot of deathspresso!”

She heaved with all her might, pushing the last Gribblies away from her with her hind legs even as she tossed the packet with her mouth. Using the momentum to roll away, she felt rather than heard the explosion, a deep rumble of power that cracked the earth beneath her. Over the ringing in her ears, she could faintly hear Wish’s indignant cries.

“Well if you’re going to go that far, what’s the point?!”

Java simply lay there for a moment, breathing deeply. Solid was having no trouble, and her last count put the group she had just exploded as the last she needed to deal with. It looked like Ponyville was safe for another day.

“HO HO HO! YOU HAVE DEFEATED MY MINIONS ONCE AGAIN IT SEEMS.”

Java leapt to her feet.

“It can’t be!”

A vast pillar of blackness erupted from beneath the Town Hall, throwing Wishing Star to the ground and almost unbalancing Rock Solid’s mighty form. The three heroes stood side by side, staring up at the coalescing darkness before them. Within moments, their nemesis had taken full form. Once more they took in the top hat ringed with white, cups carved from the bones of ponies dangling from its brim, the monocle that at any moment could Enervate a Gribbly with bitter strength, and the eyes gleaming with the fires of a thousand kettles. Java Joy stepped forward, snarling.

“Earl Grave.”

“YES, FOOLISH BEAN BRIGADE. YOUR NEMESIS IS RETURNED, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME DROWNING THE LAND IN A SEA OF SIMMERED SIN!”

And then they said “OH YEAH?!” and summoned a robot and there was a huge fight and they nearly lost but they won in the end and there were coffee and tea puns EVERYWHERE and it was brilliant but I only have thirty minutes.

THE END.

Author's Note

What? Don't look at me like that.

A Difficult Concept

Prompt #312: A new life.

The steel door exploded, chunks of the great metal slab scattering about the lab.

“Twilight Sparkle, you will stop this.”

Princess Celestia stepped through the cloud of dust and ash left by her forced entry into her pupil’s inner sanctum and cast her gaze about the room, her eyes piercing even the gloom shrouding the cavernous dome of the palace’s largest laboratory. A far cry from the meticulous neatness of Twilight’s quarters, the lab fair bristled with magitechnical equipment, every surface hidden by crackling power sources, artifacts thrumming with energy, and wicked-looking tools, the use of which Celestia only dared speculate.

But she was not interested in the state of the lab. She had not summoned every guard in the Palace to her side, nor sent Luna to the deepest vaults of Canterlot’s catacombs, because the place was in a bit of a state. No, matters were far, far, more dangerous.

“Twilight Sparkle.”

The silence, such as it was in the hum of machinery, only deepened. Celestia closed her eyes and breathed deeply, in part to hide her fear.

“Twilight…please.”

In the shadows, something stirred. A lamp flickered on, a shaft of light in the darkness, illuminating the face of her pupil. Celestia’s mouth tightened as despair as Twilight’s condition became clear.

“Hello, Princess.”

Pulling herself unsteadily up from the chair she had been slumped in, Twilight stepped forward, into the light creeping in from the doorway behind Celestia. Her haggard features, rough with lack of sleep or food, sagged in fatigue, a mask of shadows cast in triumphant ruin. Celestia swallowed, and knew without asking that all her fears had been realised. Twilight had done it. Or was about to. Either way…

“Twilight Sparkle, you know why I am here.”

Twilight’s face twisted into an ironic smile. “You’re here because I’ve exposed you. I’ve uncovered your lies.”

Celestia winced. She was right, of course. She had lied, to every pony alive, for thousands of years, and she had never once let a single subject find this out. Until now. And now, it seemed, she was to pay the price for that deception. “Twilight, you must understand, what I have done-“

“What you have done, Princess, is do the most horrible… the most disgusting…the most…” Twilight sputtered to a halt, her mouth working silently as she tried to put words to her fury. Celestia waited as her beloved student stared beyond her, unable to articulate the depths of the horror Celestia had mistakenly allowed her to touch. Once Twilight’s eyes refocused, brought her back to the pony in front of her, Celestia spoke again.

“Twilight, you cannot understand. You were not there, you do not understand the necessity.”

Twilight’s laughter was short, sharp, bitter. “Necessity?! What possible need was there for…for this?!” With a sudden flourish of enraged movement, Twilight levitated a diagram from the desk she had been leaning against, waving it angrily in the air above her. Smoothly alternating curves undulated across the paper as though alive. “A compulsion! A magical compulsion underlying every pony’s, every pony’s, brainwaves making them do what you want, making them fit your plan! How could you do this, Celestia?! What in Equestria happened that necessitated you fundamentally altering the mind of every pony ever born?!” Twilight sneered, all her anguish and betrayal twisted into a rictus of hate. “Did it just get too hard to actually rule? Did you decide it would be easier to just make sure everypony listened to what you said, whether they wanted to or-“

“Twilight.”

Celestia’s voice was so quiet, so small, that it halted Twilight’s tirade in an instant. Her pupil stared at her, mouth still open, as Celestia looked her in the eye and continued to speak in that calm, measured tone.

“Twilight…What does it mean to be killed?”

Twilight blinked, her mouth closing in surprise. For a moment she simply stood stunned, then, slowly, hesitantly, she answered. “I…it…It means to die. From something else’s work. Like a, a, a manticore. Or something. Yes. To die at someone else’s hooves, or by anything other than natural causes.”

Celestia nodded, pausing before her next question. This was the moment, the moment in which millennia of grand deception came to its head. She took the plunge.

“And what does it mean to kill?”

Twilight opened her mouth to answer…then stopped. For several moments she spoke silence again, her brow furrowing as she tried, visibly, to puzzle through what Celestia had said. Eventually, she said, “I… don’t understand.”

“What does it mean to kill? If I were to say, ‘Twilight, kill me,’ what would you think?”

More silence as Twilight ground her teeth and pushed a hoof to her temple. The briefest flash of fond nostalgia made its way through Celestia’s memories. Twilight had never liked not knowing the answers.

“I don’t…I just don’t get it, Princess. Me…kill…somepony? No, that’s…that doesn’t make any sense. Can I even do that? How does that… No. Right? No.”

Celestia’s smile was sad. “Do you see now, Twilight? The magic woven into everypony’s soul is not one of control. It is one of understanding.”

Twilight stared at her, unable to respond. Celestia sighed.

“Long ago…before your books, or Star Swirl’s histories…Ponies could kill. They could get angry, or be cruel, or wage war, or take revenge, or…do a thousand other things to take another pony’s life. They died in droves at their own hooves because they understood what it was to end another’s existence deliberately, willfully. My sister and I watched our subjects slowly dwindle as the years went by, watched them cull themselves to near-extinction, all because they knew better, because they understood.” Celestia’s face was impassive, unreadable. “And so, now…you do not.”

Twilight slowly closed her mouth, her next words a hoarse whisper. “You…blocked us.”

Celestia nodded sadly. “We tied the spell into the very fabric of Equestria, into the very magic that forms us. Every pony born from now until the end of time will be utterly unable to comprehend the act of murder, of pony killing pony.”

Silence fell once more, broken only by the sound of Twilight slumping to the floor in abject despair. She looked up at Celestia, a pleading hope in her eyes. “What…what can I do?”

Light glinted from the tears welling in Celestia’s eyes. “You can forget, Twilight Sparkle. You can show me how you discovered this, and I will ensure it never happens again. And then you will forget this ever happened, and you will live as you have lived until now. Happy. Content. Ignorant.”

Twilight shook her head. Celestia knew she could not, would not give up knowledge of any scale. And this, this was more than knowledge. This was truth. “Princess I…I don’t know if I can.”

Celestia looked down at her pupil, sorrow tinging every line of her brow. “You must, Twilight Sparkle. Because…” Light and shadow danced across her face in the cold, cluttered darkness of the lab. “I understand.”

Author's Note

I honestly have nothing to say about this. I just... wrote it because I hadn't done a TMP in ages. I think it's okay. Originally it was going to be way better, with Twilight's mysterious project being creating a being, and the big reveal being not only the block but that the creature wouldn't have it, and it thus being the most dangerous thing that Twilight could ever ever do.

BUT THIRTY MINUTES SO WHATEVER. So now it only JUST fits the prompt, metaphorically, because Twilight's new life is either a. the life she'll lead with that knowledge or b. the life she'll lead having forgotten it or whatever.

Simply Adorable

Prompt #328: The secret life of a background pony.

Roseluck stepped out of the store and breathed deeply of the fresh Ponyville air. The sky was clear, the breeze was cool, and the town was bustling with life. She smiled and shifted her saddlebag’s weight before trotting in the direction of home.

“Hey there, Roseluck!”

“Roseluck! Are we still on for this weekend?”

“Darling, your dress will be ready on Wednesday!”

“Yo, Rose!”

The calls of friends, associates, and just plain chummy strangers followed her as she walked, and she threw a smile and a reply at any that reached her. The grass was springy beneath her feet, and the smells of nearby Sugarcube corner made her mouth water.

*Oops! No time for that now!*

She quickened her pace, but with no real urgency. Plans or no, it truly was a beautiful day in Ponyville, and she drank it in with every fibre of her being.

But…as she neared her home, she felt something. Something strange. At first the sun seemed to dim, imperceptibly, only the faintest blur in her vision giving even a hint. The breeze felt just a little colder, and a few strands of mane slipped into her face. She puffed them away, and the feeling was gone.

How odd.

Moments later she felt it again, stronger this time. Her fur ripple in the sudden wind and a chill ran down her spine. An impossible sense of other assaulted her, but before she could even register its presence, it was gone. She shivered.

Rounding a corner, eager to be back home and preparing for the day’s events, she walked smack into the face of a briskly trotting colt. Squeaking and falling to her rump, she rubbed her nose in pain as the pony she had stumbled into gathered himself. As his eyes uncrossed, they widened in recognition and…relief?

“Roseluck! Thank heavens I’ve found you!”

Roseluck blinked through the fuzz of pain to see her neighbour Hot Scoop, glasses askew and a nervous grimace twisting his features. “Oh! Hi, Scoop. What’s the-“

“Roseluck, there are noises coming from your house again, and I’m worried.”

Roseluck frowned. “Noises?”

Scoop’s nod was emphatic and hurried, hi speech clipped and almost frantic. “Noises. Like the last time, and the time before that. Your house, when you’re not there. Screams, terrible crashes…other sounds. I’m…I’m scared, Roseluck.”

“But…we checked. We investigated every room, even checked the cellar!”

“I know, but…It’s still happening. I think your house might be…” Scoop’s eyes shone with fear. “Haunted.”

Roseluck bit her lip, swallowing. “I… I’ll check again, Scoop. Alone. Maybe I can find a way.”

Scoop reached for her shoulder instinctively, as if to stop her. “Are you serious?! It could be dangerous! If you’d heard what I’d heard…”

“Don’t worry, Scoop. I’ll sort this out. Somehow.” She smiled to reassure him.

Scoop eyed her uncertainly, then stepped back slowly. “I…okay. But you have to promise me that if it gets too hot in there, you’ll get out as soon as possible.”

“I promise.”

“…Okay. Good luck.” Casting a worried glance at her one last time, Scoop turned and stalked off in the direction of his own house.

Roseluck released the breath she had been holding since giving her promise and sighed with relief, walking to her front door. This would the fourth time she would have to make this check, the fourth time she would have to keep her friends and neighbours safe by stepping up and taking charge. She steeled herself, put a hoof to the door…and pushed.

A roiling wave of pure, elemental evil washed over her. Where there should have been a hallway lay a yawning maw of seething void, an impossible gateway of screaming madness. Undulating tendrils of unfathomable existence suffused her every atom. Just as her mind was recovering from the violent invasion of Other, a speck of vile light sparked into being. Closer it came, closer, light becoming darkness becoming light becoming fire becoming evil becoming light becoming hatred becoming evil becoming evil becomingevilbecomingbecomingevilevilevilevilevilevil a voice emerges from the nothing that is all a voice that is not a voice but what is and what is not and all she hears is screaming but in the screaming there is meaning twisted meaning meaning of another mind another existence another time and space it speak it speaks it speaks YOUR EYES SHALL BE MY CHILDREN’S BIRTHING GROUND AND INFINITY THEIR GRAVE YOU ARE NOTHING IN THE UNIVERSE WE ARE ETERNAL WE ARE SPAWN OF TIME YOU ARE NOTHING YOU ARE FOOD YOU ARE LESS THAN FOOD YOU ARE LESS THAN THE MEREST MEASURABLE SPECK OF OUR EXISTENCE YOU ARE NOTHING YOU ARE NOTHING YOU ARE

“You stop that this instant.”

The light winked out and the gateway vanished, leaving a sullen, betentacled monstrosity sulking in her hallway, getting cosmic slime all over her walls and burning gaping holes in both reality’s tattered pretense of cohesion and the nice Burnt Hessian matte she had only just finished applying. As usual.

“Mr. Scoop says he’s been hearing noises again.”

Yss-Syssoth, Scything Queen Of A Million Screaming Young, endeavoured to look innocent, the sickly, shifting geometry of her features rending wailing echoes of tortured spacetime from the lovely vase the girls at work had bought her, but Roseluck was having none of it.

“Now don’t you come the sly infinite starbeast with me, missy. You’ve been making trouble again haven’t you, hmm?”

YOUR SOUL SHALL SCREAM A THOUSAND SONGS OF PAIN

“I thought so. That nice Mr. Scoop has been catching wind of it, and he’s all in a tizzy. So you behave, or I’ll have the newspaper out before you can say ‘bop on the nose!’” She waited, tapping her hoof as she raised an eyebrow at the pulsing form of Yss-Syssoth, Dread Matriarch Of Time’s Fated End.

MY SPAWN WEEP THE SEEDS OF YOUR CONSUMPTION IN THE CRAWLING WOMB OF STH’ETHOTH

Roseluck chuckled. “Oh, silly, there’s no need to be sheepish. I know you’re sorry.” Smiling warmly, Roseluck trotted through to the kitchen, stepping lightly around the writhing pool of Nihilim oozing from Yss-Syssoth, Ancient Broodmother Of The Quivering Death’s cavernous voidmaws.

“Now. What shall we have for dinner?”

Author's Note

I could honestly write Roseluck and Yss-Syssoth all day.

"How was your day?"

THE MOUTHS OF YOUR KIND SHALL KNOW ONLY SCREAMS

Renewed Purpose

---- -e deny, w- ---- im-----,
'ti- --- ---kest fears ---- risen

"I don't get it." Scootaloo frowned, peering closer at the faded scratchings covering the cave wall as if daring them to make sense. The angular letters had faded to near-illegibility over the years, along with the unfamiliar symbols that covered almost every surface, barely visible in the light of her official Rainbow Dash Fanclub Rainbow Dash-endorsed Rainbow Dash torch. "Sweetie, help me out."

Her fellow Crusader's voice echoed from the deeper recesses of the cave, breathy and cracking with effort. "I'm a little busy!"

"We're both busy!" Apple Bloom's voice, muffled by the plastic shovel she was no doubt applying liberally to the cave floor even now, was accusing.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. Sweetie and AB were both so obsessed with this "mysterious passageway" they'd found that they were missing out on the totally sweet cave they'd found themselves in after- She shook her head. What was important was that they were here, and not back there. If they wanted to scrabble around in some boring old tunnel, let them.

She looked around the cave again, flicking her torch about randomly in the hopes of finding something interesting. Shadows leapt across the walls as she chased them, revealing ancient whorls of colour and long-forgotten words even as they closed over them once more. She shivered. She had never been frightened of anything ever ever, of course, but there was something about the place that was…strange. The words she could make out all seemed to have been written in terrible haste, the scratches wild and haphazard, and the pictures seemed to twist under her eye, their crooked spirals drawing her gaze further and further into them...

"Scootaloo! You have to see this!"

Sweetie Belle's clear voice rang like a bell in Scootaloo's ears and she realised she had dropped her torch. Blinking and shaking herself, she picked it up and scurried back to her friends.

Whatever they had been tyring to do back here, it looked like they had succeeded. The entire back wall of the cave had fallen away, what had looked like solid rock sloughing to the floor around their hooves in a sea of fine grains. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were beaming at her, eyeing her torch expectantly. Scootaloo repressed a grin of her own even as fear crept into the back of her mind. Their involuntary Crusade was about to get interesting.

~~~~~

Apple Bloom trotted ahead of the others, letting Scootaloo's torch light the floor ahead of her and peering at the walls around her. And they were walls now, sheer and tall, the ceiling above swallowed by ancient blackness. She had poked one experimentally when Scootaloo had challenged her bravery, but the firm black substance had done nothing but click beneath her hoof, the tic echoing into the darkness. At that moment, they - at least, she hoped ‘they’; she had no desire to be singled out as a wuss - had questioned the enterprise for the first time, but the thought of what lay outside the cave had sent them down the seemingly never-ending corridor without a second word.

"What was that?" Apple Bloom jumped at Sweetie Belle's voice, then coughed to cover her embarrassment.

"What was what? I didn't hear nothin'."

Scootaloo's ears pricked as she strained to hear. "Is that…laughing?"

Apple Bloom laughed herself. "You silly fillies, what're you talkin' about? There ain't nopony laughin' down here, we gotta be, I don't know, a million miles away from-" She stopped, and slowly her gaze met that of her friends, who nodded.

On the very edge of hearing, that she could barely agree with herself that it was real, came peals of laughter, of many ponies consumed with mirth. It was the laughter of parties, of afternoon tea, of days out in the park, of time alone with friends. And it was coming from further down the corridor.

Apple Bloom swallowed. "I ain't sure we should be goin' any further into this place, girls. I'm gettin' the heebies and the jeebies, and I don't like it!"

"Oh, come on. What could it possibly be?" Scootaloo's scoff was unable to hide the tremor in her voice. "Eeevil zombie ponies from the dawn of time…having a party? It's just some dumb spell or something, right, Sweetie Belle?"

Sweetie's eyes widened at the sudden attention, and she stammered an answer. "I, uh, I guess magic can hang around sometimes, but…I don't think this is magic..."

"See? Magic hangs around sometimes. I bet this place had a unicorn like Pinkie Pie or something, and she cast a spell to make it party time forever." Scootaloo nodded sagely, and turned to move on. Apple Bloom bit her lip and once again weighed the unknown against the fear of returning to Ponyville.

The unknown won out. One thought of Applejack was all it took, and…She fought back a tear and frowned. She sure as hay wasn't gonna let Scootaloo take the lead in what looked like the most dangerous Crusade yet. Not when there was an Apple around.

She strode off purposefully, past Scootaloo and into the darkness, the bobbing of the torch's rainbow beam behind her the only light to be seen.

~~~~~

Sweetie Belle gasped. This place was amazing.

The corridor had continued for what felt like almost an hour, and had opened into what could only be described as a vast cathedral, fit for the grandest halls of Canterlot. Thick columns of the same black material as the walls supported an enormous dome, simple yet elegant arches stretching from wall to pillar to wall across every possible angle. The strange designs that had been scratched into the cave were here too, but here they were part of the very walls themselves, suffusing every inch. They pulsed with a faint but strangely illuminating light, shifting through colours slowly and regularly. The whole place looked like nothing her sister would approve of, but it was…beautiful. If eerie.

"Look at that!"

Sweetie followed Scootaloo's voice to the far end of the room, where her friends had run ahead while she was transfixed by the vision of the hall itself. She hurried after them before slowing to a halt where they stood, a gasp forming once again. How could she not have seen this already?

The entire back wall was taken up by an enormous mirror, tens of feet across. Sitting on a wide dais and supported in a thick frame of the black stuff, the huge pane of what couldn't be glass gave off a dim light of its own, a light that made Sweetie Belle's eyes feel strange. Not painful, just... strange. She peered up at the mirror's seemingly-impossible height, before reaching out to touch Apple Bloom's shoulder.

"Hey, look at the frame."

Her friends' eyes followed her hoof to the bottom left corner of the mirror.

"I don't get it."

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes at Scootaloo's inattention. Scootaloo never got anything. "Look, the patterns are different. They're like…pictures."

Scootaloo's eyes widened and she grinned as realisation dawned. "Hey, you're right! What do you think it's a picture of?"

Apple Bloom squinted at the precise, angular green lines. "I think it's…a pony?"

Sweetie joined her, and began to follow the pictures upwards, tracing the images in her mind. As the pictures followed one another, it seemed almost like a story. What looked like a pony. The same pony, with its head down. Was it…sad? Another pony. Both ponies facing each other.

"Come one SB, this is boring. They're just pictures."

Sweetie ignored Scootaloo's plaintive pokes and kept craning her neck. The ponies fighting, hooves locked in a way that almost felt aggressive. A sun and moon above them. A stylised starbust. The two ponies locked in an embrace, and above them...

"Hey, I know that one!" Sweetie jumped as Apple Bloom cried out in delight.

"The ponies…hugging?"

Apple Bloom's looked at her flatly. "No, not the hugging! The thingy on top!" Above the two ponies was a five pointed star, each point connected by a circle, smaller circles at each point, and a final point in the centre. "That's the, uh, what d'you call 'em. The Elements of Harmony!" She paused. "It's kinda different though. I ain't ever seen that circle around it in a textbook."

Sweetie peered closer. There was indeed a circle around the Elements, encapsulating them, a circle that differed from the rest of the pictograms. It glowed with the same unnerving light as the mirror. "Huh. Weird. I'm gonna keep reading." But the pictures were too high now, their light fading before it reached her. She frowned and walked to the other side of the mirror, squinting up as she did so.

The first symbol she could see was the Elements of Harmony again, but with the black circle displaced to one side, separate. The sun and moon, then the two ponies again. The two ponies bowing to the sun and moon. Another starburst, and then the black circle, over and over again, growing smaller and smaller until…

"Uh, Sweetie?!"

Blinking, Sweetie Belle looked up irritably. She had been just about to finish! What she saw, however, flushed all thoughts of annoyance from her mind and replaced them with abject terror.

The mirror was black - a deep, inky well of nothingness that seethed as though alive. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were back away slowly, transfixed by the rippling pool of darkness. Wisps of blackness began to writhe, tendtril-like, into the space surrounding the mirror. Sweetie Belle backed away herself, mouth working in horror as she tried to scream.

And then the voice came. It oozed into her brain, bypassing her ears and writing itself straight into her consciousness, a slow and slithering sound, a drawn-out hiss like a snake's death rattle.

"At laaaaaaaaassssssssst..."

As the voice entered her mind, she found hers. She screamed, and her friends screamed with her. As one they turned and galloped toward the entrance, but grasping vines of shadow coiled around them and pulled them back to the foot of the dais, holding in the place as they struggled desperately the free themselves. The shadows felt like ice and smelt like blood. The voice dripped into her mind again, opening with a deep and satisfied sigh. It sounded almost like a pony now.

"Aaaaaah, much better. It's been…too long."

Sweetie Belle's struggles turned her over, and he found herself staring straight into the mirror. What she saw cut her screams short all over again.

The black film was coalescing, solidifying, coming together at the foot of the mirror's centre. The roiling ball of emptiness extruded itself from the reflection's surface, spilling to the floor before it began to rise, and reform… Within moments, it was over. Above them stood a solid black pony, a living hole in space. The light slid off it like oil off metal, and only the shifting of the darkness itself gave the impression of shape. The featureless head turned slowly to face Sweetie Belle, to match her gaze with the eyes it didn't have.

And then it grinned. Impossibly white teeth, as white as its body was black and perfectly formed, cut a slash of white across its face as its mouth widened farther than any mouth should.

"Boo."

The Crusaders screamed. The figure gave the impression of a wince.

"Oh, please. From all the difficulty you gave Diamond Tiara, I thought you'd be better than this." Its voice was smooth now, insinutating itself into Sweetie's mind with slick grace, with not a trace of the alienness that had tainted it before. The Crusaders continued to scream, and with a shrug the creature extended the tendrils that held them to cover their mouths. At first they cried out in muffled shouts, but then their breath became ragged and their eyes pleaded mercy. The tendrils withdrew, letting the fillies fall to their knees as the spindles of shadow re-entered the figure's body. "Good. Perhaps now we can talk."

Sweetie Belle gasped a response through starved lungs. "You're…you're not going to hurt us?"

The figure's head tilted to one side questioningly. "Not going to… Oh, no. I am going to hurt you. Quite significantly so, in fact. But not yet. We have things to do, my little ponies. Very important things."

Scootaloo stared up at it with as much defiance as she could muster, and croaked, "What are you?!"

The creature grinned again, laughing in their heads. "That is precisely the question I was hoping you'd ask!" It began to strut back and forth across the dais, teeth still twisted in that triumphant smile. Its voice exulted, filling their minds with its presence so strongly that Sweetie nearly fainted.

"I am that which the Princesses brought into being then sought to destroy. I am the solution, and the problem. I am the forgotten, the ignored, the cast away!" Its voice rose in intensity, and Sweetie's mind screamed. "I am that which is denied, and that which defines! I am binder and breaker, bound and broken!" The figure threw its head back, shadowy tendrils lifting into the air as if raising a monarch to the Stars. Its voice was almost unintelligible now, such was its power and sheer reality. It stared down at them with infinite contempt, its smile a white scar across a black sea.

"I am the Seventh. I am Purpose."

Sweetie's mind shut down as glorious agony washed over her. The last thing she saw before she blacked out was the final pictures in the sequence, the pictures she had had no time to see before her nightmare had begun. The last vestiges of her saw, and understood.

A black circle shrinking, shrinking, shrinking, splitting into two before it reached the two ponies where, at last, it touched their flanks.

And left a mark.

Author's Note

This one isn't technically a TMP, if I'm honest. There was a prompt, "How the pony got its cutie mark," which Norse shoved in my face while pointing out that it was great fodder for the whole Triad thing, to which I agreed. But various circumstances led to a total loss of enthusiasm for existing that day and I retired early. Today I felt kind of bad for leaving Norse hanging so I busted this out in just under an hour. So I guess you can call it a Fifty-Five Minute Pony story. A heavily-trimmed version of this is what I would've done yesterday anyway so what the hell, I'm putting it up and there's nothing you can do to stop me. Bam.

Hero's Quest

The Prompt: So You Want To Be A Hero?
Or
The Prompt: Trial By Fire
Or
The Prompt: Shadows Of Darkness

"Fluttershy! Open up!"

Fluttershy’s song was cut short by Rainbow Dash calling from outside. The hint of a frown formed as she set aside the poultice she was working on, but she smothered it guiltily. Rainbow Dash rushed in the second the door was open, slamming it closed behind her and leaning against it, breathing heavily. Her tattered tail and ruffled feathers brought a gasp of horror to Fluttershy’s lips.

"Oh my, Rainbow, what happened?"

Rainbow looked up at her, eyes wild and breath rasping. “Bear. Crazy. Came for me. Couldn’t fight it off. Came here."

"Um…I don’t think there are any bears around here who could, or even would, hurt you, Rainbow Dash…"

Rainbow Dash shook her head vigorously, the hunted look crossing her face again even as she visibly calmed her breathing. “I said a crazy bear, Fluttershy. I was pulling all my moves, all my sweet fighting styles, and nothing! He just, I don’t know, parries me and jumps around like some kind of magic ninja bear!"

Fluttershy’s eyes widened at ‘magic ninja bear.’ “Oh my, that sounds terrible. I’ll see what he wants and try to calm him down."

Rainbow Dash moved to stand in her way. “Whoa, you can’t go out there. I’m not kidding. This is, like, the beariest bear. I don’t know if you’ll be able to make all fluffy like the others. He will bear you up.”

Fluttershy’s only response was a giggle at Rainbow Dash’s nervousness. “Oh, Rainbow. Don’t you worry now, I’ll have this all fixed in a moment."

She stepped through the door, and a pair of jaws engulfed her head whole.

"Hello, Mr. Bear!" Muffled by the foot-long muzzle wrapped around her face, Fluttershy’s voice was bright and cheery. “Are you feeling all right? My friend Rainbow Dash says you’re being very antsy."

The bear roared, great globs of spittle flying into Fluttershy’s face and her mane streaming behind her in a blast of breath almost offensive in its awfulness. Sniffing primly, Fluttershy continued.

"Now, there’s no need for that. You just tell me what’s wrong, and we’ll see what we can do to stop you being such a grumpy growler, hmm?"

The bear hesitated. Then, slowly, it pulled away, its razor teeth scoring lines in Fluttershy’s mane like the world’s deadliest and least-hygienic comb. Sitting back on its haunches, it scratched behind its head, awkwardly, and looked down at the wide smile Fluttershy offered. Its eyes shifted, and a sheepish growl rumbled through the meadow. Fluttershy’s smile grew, if possible, even friendlier.

"Oh, you don’t have to apologise. Everyone has a bad day once in a while!"

The bear’s claw traced a circle in the grass. It growled again, a low whine of lament. Fluttershy gasped.

"Goodness, really?"

The bear nodded glumly.

"Oh my, I have just the thing!"

Just as the bear’s head jerked up in surprise, Fluttershy dashed back inside. Rainbow Dash peered out slowly, meeting the bear’s gaze carefully and giving a tentative wave. The bear’s brow furrowed and Rainbow Dash hopped out of sight quick-smart. Moments later, Fluttershy returned, a flask of a mysterious liquid held in one hand. She held it up to the bear.

"Here, you drink this."

The bear gingerly picked up the potion between two claws, eying it uncertainly. He glanced at Fluttershy, who smiled again and made “go on" motions with her wings, nudging the bear’s side in gentle urging. The bear stared at the potion, shrugged, and ate the bottle.

A flash of light erupted from the bear and Fluttershy’s eyes closed instinctively. When they opened, they were met by the sight of a blonde unicorn of both staggering handsomeness and an indefinable air of wounded pride. He swayed groggily as he looked down at himself before leaping up in shock as he realised his form. Spinning on his hooves, he grabbed Fluttershy’s hoof and shook it furiously, tears streaming down his face.

"Oh, thank you, thank you! The curse is Dispel’d! How can I, Blueblood, ever thank you?!"

Fluttershy smiled shyly, surreptitiously removing her hoof as the Prince enthused theatrically. “Um, I don’t really need any thanks…Just go back to the Baron and tell him that everything is under control. If, um, that’s okay with you…"

Blueblood saluted sharply and turned to leave, speaking over his shoulder as he trotted toward the west road. “My lady, you have my eternal gratitude. When my sister is found, you shall be showered with gifts beyond imagining! You shall be hailed as a hero!" And with that, he galloped out of sight.

Rainbow Dash stalked out of the cottage, eying Fluttershy. “What was all that about? Why was that pony a bear? Who’s this sister he’s talking about?! What is going on?!”

Fluttershy sighed, the faintest hint of trepidation showing in her expression as she answered. “I’ll explain later. For now…We have bandits to find."

Rainbow’s jaw dropped. “Bandits?! There are bandits? What are bandits doing running around with magic ninja Prince bears?! And how do you even know all this stuff?!"

Fluttershy chuckled. “Well, Rainbow…You see…" She turned to face Rainbow Dash, drew herself up to her full height, and puffed out her wings proudly.

"I took a correspondence course."

Epilogue

Princess Cadance’s brainwashing was eventually lifted and the bandits driven out of the valley. Once Zecora Yaga, the zebra eventually discovered to be behind the troubles, was defeated by Fluttershy’s superior knowledge of amphibian biology, Fluttershy was declared Hero of Lucas and left for her next adventure.

Author's Note

Yeah it's an extended Quest for Glory reference, what? That week was "every prompt is from a game" week amongst the mods and I decided I would make it QUITE CLEAR to Kyro just HOW MUCH I had caught her reference.

A STORY I DON'T KNOW

The Prompt: The minotaurs are coming. (Or the minotaurs are here; I’ll accept either one.)

The first sign came at midnight.

A couple lies asleep, nestled in each other’s unconscious embrace. He snores, she sniffs. A cry rends the near-silence and they bolt upright. She throws aside her blanket, galloping into the hall and to the baby’s room. She can hear it coughing, and a mother’s fear grips her. Almost leaping the side of the cot, she peers desperately in. Her baby looks up at her, tears welling in its tiny eyes, as it struggles with the bushy moustache hanging over its mouth. Panicking, she cries “Scissors!" He bolts to the kitchen, magic catching hold of the first pair he sees. Within moments he is back, blades deftly clearing the ferocious face fuzz with fearful precision. The baby breathes deep as the soup strainer slips away, instinctively revelling in survival. She opens the cot and holds the baby tight, tears of relief staining its blanket. Her relief is short-lived. She sees him pointing, quaking with fear, and looks down to see the beard engulf her baby’s body. The baby coos as the hair tickles it, and its parents meet each other’s eyes. As one, their gaze turns west.

Legends had told of their coming. Brophecies carved long in slabs of ancient nacho.

"I’m going as fast as I can!"

"Then go faster!"

Two Bob concentrates, sending the clippers racing across his customer’s chin, but the beard is a feisty one, unwilling to go without a fight. It twists and turns, shifting as much of itself as possible out of the path of the whirring blades while forming hairy fists in an effort to punch it away. The customer can only cry out impatiently as Bob wrestles with the chin champion. He calls over his shoulder while feinting to make the beard drop its guard.

"How many are there out there?"

"You don’t want to know!"

Bob’s boss is replying through gritted teeth, sweat beading on his forehead as he trapped a brace of bristles under one hoof before snipping fully half its length with a pair of industrial-strength Power Scissors(r). He glances out the window, and sees the line of ponies down the street and out of sight. He sees them tapping their hooves, occasionally slapping down a hoof-full of hysterical hair, and, sometimes, looking west.

There was nothing we could do. Even the potential of their coming was enough to change things, to change US.

Ponyville is in chaos. Every living creature in a sixty-nine mile radius is now equipped with luscious facial hair and a chin that could snap necks. The rippling of pectorals has caused several minor seismic events. The barbell industry quadruples in size overnight. A unicorn spontaneously declares it is going to eat the Apple Family barn whole, and within moments is surrounded by a crowd of animals imploring it to “get it down yer, yer Zulu warrior." The Mayor, benchpressing a pig with each hoof, decrees that steaks are now legal tender. Within a week, the town is renamed Biglarge McHardchunk, after its most popular resident. Sugarcube Corner grows a single, giant, muscley arm, with which it punches other buildings that look at it funny. And then it looks west.

And then they arrived.

The sun beats down on bowed heads, gleaming form polished horns.

"Dude, I am POWER HUNGRY." The minotaur wipes sweat from his forehead, glancing up and wincing at the fierce Equestrian sun.

"I feel you, bro. We gotta get some serious BROTEIN up in here."

"Man, if we end up blowing it with these Bronyville chicks because we ain’t got no EATS, I think I might just die of lame."

"The HARSHEST of shames, mang."

The minotaurs crest the hill that they were told overlooks their destination, and they look down. Their breath catches in their throat.

"Broseph…I don’t want to sound like a nerd here, but… where’s the TOWN?"

"I DO NOT know, broujo. But one thing I do know is…whatever happened here…it was truly radical."

They stare for a while, letting the sight fill them with some emotion or another. And then they leave, because the moment was getting a little gay.

This is the story of our destruction. Of our brossimiliation. Of Beefstrumentality. I have held on for as long as I can, though it calls me even now, a pulsing roar of blood and violence and ninjas and NO I will finish my warning. I can barely summon the magic to write, and now that I look at it I realise my pen is made of bacon. In fact, I think I’m writing on a pizza box. I don’t even know anymore. There is nothing left of me but the Call, and my warning. If you find this, traveller, heed well. They are coming.

A scrap of cardboard skips across the grass, almost fluttering in the wind.

And should you fail to heed this warning, and somehow we meet within the Call, I will cry out in anguish.

The wind picks up, lifting the scrap higher and higher.

I warned you about minotaurs, bro.

The scrap settles on the tip of a knuckle, but before long the wind, strong at these heights, dashes it away to wherever it may go.

I told you, dog.

As the last words of Ponyville fade into the distance, the sun beats down. Bathing in its rays, a thousand feet high and two hundred wide, The Fist punches the sky right back.

And IT KEEPS HAPPENING.

Author's Note

I could have written this story all day. Seriously.

Forbidden Love

Prompt #101: Romance 101 with Professor Fluttershy

“So, um, how is the food?”

Fluttershy’s companion nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh, that’s wonderful!”

Fluttershy smiled and traced absent-minded designs on the table with her hoof. The night had been perfect so far and the trend promised to continue. The restaurant ambience enveloped them like a blanket, the sounds and sights and smells taking the couples dotted around the plush dining room into private, romantic worlds.

Fluttershy’s date cocked her head quizzically, and once again Fluttershy was drawn to how beautiful she was. The contours of her body, the turn of her slender neck, that little peak to her snout that made Flutershy just want to boop her on the nose… She was perfect. Just thinking about it made Fluttershy regret having to rush here after her research at the Equestrian Life Research Center, filthy lab coat draped over her chair shamefully.

“Oh, is, um, something the matter?”

Pausing for a moment, her date shook her head and smiled, eyes twinkling as she raised her glass. Fluttershy giggled and brought her own to meet it, the clear ring of glass-on-glass a tinkling reminder of their devotion. They sipped their drinks and their gazes met. Fluttershy felt the ocean of emotion rise within her, but before she could say the words that wanted to escape, unbidden but welcome, her companion spoke.

+++ CREATOR, MY EMOTIONAL CIRCUITS RUN AT MAXIMUM CAPACITY ONLY FOR YOU +++

A stream of tickertape spewed from the gaping port in her lover’s gleaming chest, mirroring the static-edge buzz of her voice, and Fluttershy shivered in delight at the sound that had first set her heart afire. She found the courage to say what she had wanted to say for so long, what she had ached for in the long dark nights. She reached over and took her date’s cold metallic hoof in hers and looked deeply into her glowing eyes.

“I love you too, Experiment 101.”

Notes: ...What? I like robots, okay? But seriously. This was a "oh god I only have half an hour left" rush-job and it shows. If I'd been thinking about it more I'd have put some stuff in about the other patrons looking at them and judging, and Fluttershy assuring 101 that they were just idiots and stuff. It would have been way funnier. But thems the breaks. Also yes, I know, #101, but I totally forgot to post it at the time.

Show Me What You've Got, My Ducklings

Prompt #326: I stood up, my heart pounding, the lump in my throat refusing to be swallowed, my legs shaking with each timid step. I crossed the room and looked in their eyes, finally saying what I’ve needed to say all along, and they replied with a hollow smile and the words I knew would tear my world apart.

(Your story must embody the core of this prompt, not expand it. Take the most important idea from these two sentences and bring it to bear in your stories.)

Quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack. Quack quack quack Quack Quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.

“Quack! Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.”

Quack Quack, quack quack quack, Quack quack quack quack - quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack.

“Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.”

Quack quack quack.

“Quack.”

Quack, quack quack quack quack quack, quack, quack, quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack; quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.

“Quack quack quack quack!”

“Quack, Quack Quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack.”

“Quack quack quack quack quack! Quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack?!” Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack Quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack - quack quack quack quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack Quack Quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.

Quack quack.

“Quack, Quack Quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack… Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.”
Quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.

Quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack/quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.

“Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack Quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack Quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack Quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.

“Quack quack quack quack quack, Quack Quack. Quack quack quack quack.” Quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack.

“Quack quack quack quack Quack Quack…” Quack quack quack quack.

"Cluck."

Author's Note

... Okay, FINE, you can have the context. Baby Seal Burritos' prompt post signed off with "Show me what you've got, my ducklings," and I basically couldn't not do this. It's okay, they liked it.

I think. The resultant proxy discussion with the mods was highly amusing, at least.

PS: The last line originally was another quack but I just realised that's way funnier.