Scaled Up: The Big Apple

Some people say certain things in life were death and some form of taxation. Aside from being a somewhat morbid and depressing outlook on their lives, it wasn’t entirely true. There was a third thing that was a certainty, perhaps not for everybody, but if you lived in Ponyville then it certainly was. This extra certainty was Pinkie Pie’s incredible ability to always know who was about to celebrate their birthday, even if the most interaction she had with them was a simple hello. Of course, the more she interacted with them, the more likely it was that she would be able to correctly guess the correct date. For those who were about to experience a birthday, Pinkie Pie never let them know that she was planning a party, at least not overtly. Instead, she’d leave hints all over the place, little clues that one could easily overlook, but if viewed together, they’d give the game away. Luckily for Pinkie Pie, nobody really had the time or the forethought to examine the clues so intensely. So her parties were always a surprise, even to the guests. She worked tirelessly behind the scenes to research and locate the immediate and distant family of whoever was experiencing the birthday.

It was a heck of a lot of effort for one person, but nothing brought her a greater sense of joy than to see the look of happiness on a person’s face. There were probably much easier ways of getting people to feel like that, but Pinkie didn’t do things in half measures. She was the living embodiment of the phrase, ‘go big or go home’, if it wasn’t a huge, possibly costly, investment, then it just wasn’t worth it. As much as she loved putting on birthday bashes for folks who had little or no connection to her, there was one thing she loved more. That was putting on the same kind of thing but for her friends. Rarity, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, they had all been exposed to one of Pinkie’s surprise parties at one time or another. Lately though, Pinkie had noticed that Applejack in particular had been keeping out of the way when it came to her birthdays. The previous two times, Pinkie had gone to visit Applejack and put her plan into motion, only for Butter to have told her that she was recovering in bed due to some mystery illness. Each time, Pinkie had offered to come inside and play nurse along with Butter, but he had refused her entry. Naturally, Pinkie had been suspicious of Butter, particularly because she had it on good authority that Butter would have enjoyed seeing her in a nurse’s outfit.

So as this was the third year and things had been a little rocky between Applejack, Pinkie and Butter, she decided on a grand gesture. There would be no huge celebration like usual, she was simply going to make a cake for her, that was it. Well had Pinkie not been herself then it might have ended there, but as such, she wasn’t a regular old baker. She resolved to make a cake that was fitting of someone of Applejack’s immense size, by making the cake as big as she was. It was a tall order, one that no regular oven could fill, or indeed any oven at all. She was going to need a lot of thought to pull through on this, but she was confident she had the ability to make it work. Even if it meant that she was going to bake a section of the cake in every kitchen oven in Equestria. Now all she needed to do was find out just how tall Applejack had gotten by now and for that, she was going to need to pay Butter and Applejack a visit. So off she went, skipping her way through town, assuming that the pair would be at home, rather than out and about.

Over and Applejack and Butter’s homestead, the pair were very aware that Applejack’s birthday was coming up and that no doubt Pinkie was on the prowl. In a way they had came to some kind of impasse with regards to the Pinkie problems that had plagued them in the past. After their little love-making session a few months back, Applejack felt assured that Butter wasn’t sneaking off behind her back. The raw passion that he had given her during that one night of frantic love-making couldn’t have come from someone who didn’t truly love her. She was still wary of Pinkie, but it was more along the lines of keeping her in check and making sure she didn’t cross some kind of line. That counted for her as well, as it was no secret that Pinkie wasn’t exactly picky about the gender of her partners when she got down to it. So Applejack was as much a target for Pinkie’s excessive flirtations and attempts at romance. This time they were going to be a little more inviting with Pinkie, play along with her actions and ministrations as it had to be easier than avoiding her. The previous two birthdays, Butter had been complaining of how exhausted he was after trying to see Pinkie off at the door. So they were simply sitting at home, snuggled up on the couch and enjoying each other’s company, waiting for the inevitable.

As if by the magic of coincidence, there came a knocking at the door, a frantic, peppy, kind of knocking, reminiscent of Pinkie Pie. Butter sighed and Applejack helped him down to the floor, giving him a smile. It was all well and good her smiling, she wasn’t the one that had to get the first experience of gale force Pinkie Pie at the door. He begrudgingly strode through the halls until he came to the door. He took a moment to allow the inside section of the door to adjust to his height. No doubt, Pinkie’s side of the door was already tweaked to match her size, or at least he hoped it was. It was certainly going to be awkward to find that the outside of the door was scaled to Applejack, making him look almost herculean. Or if the magic worked differently to how he thought it did, then Pinkie might be greeted by a gigantic Butter, when it reality he was still the same six foot he had always been. He couldn’t be sure, he wasn’t entirely sure about the specifications of the spell upon the homestead, he was just grateful that it was there. Once the door was sized correctly, he pulled it open to greet the surprise guest at the door, even if it wasn’t all that surprising.

“Heya, Nutty!” yelled Pinkie, upon seeing him. “Is AJ home? I hope she isn’t sick again, that would really ruin things!”

“Hey, Pinkie. No, Applejack isn’t sick this time, would you care to come in?”

“I sure as sugar would love to come in! I don’t think I’ve ever been in here before, I mean, I’ve stood here a couple of times, but never gotten inside. What’s it like in there? Is there a secret room under the floor? Like a hidden basement where you keep all your stuff? We don’t have one at Sugar Cube Corner, but if I had my way, there’d be a secret cellar that’d have all the candy ever inside!”

“Well, tangent aside, you can come in if you’re done with your plans for the future. Or you can keep talking about them, I’m going back to Applejack, regardless.”

“Okey dokey lokey!” She followed Butter as he began to trace his steps back to Applejack, continuing to chatter. “Woah! This place is huge! How do you live in here? Have you got some sort of mouse hole system for getting around? Or have you got a bunch of levers and pulleys to make lifts to get around everywhere? Or does Applejack just do it for you? Eh? Bet you have the best seat around if Applejack carries you about, right?”

Butter didn’t respond, which was just as well because if experience was anything to go by, he was likely to get cut off before he could answer. As he expected, Pinkie soon launched into another line of questioning, this time asking him where he slept and where the bedrooms were located, along with a weird set of questions about what the bathroom situation. Thankfully, by the time she got onto the bathroom situation, he had returned to Applejack and she had plucked him up into the air. He took his place at her side and snuggled in, leaving Pinkie on her own at the foot of the couch. She giggled as she watched Butter get airlifted up into the air, she thought about playfully begging for Applejack do the same to her, but she was here for on business, she needed to be serious. At least some sort of serious, her own brand of seriousness. She whipped out a tape measure and smacked her fist down off Applejack’s right foot to get her to lift it up. Applejack leant over to see just what Pinkie was getting at and after seeing her beating up her toes, she lifted her foot to put a stop to it. Pinkie slipped the bottom of the tape under her sole and gestured for her to place her foot back down. Applejack obliged, but she was still none the wiser about what she was going for.

Next she held the rest of the tape measure between her teeth and jumped up onto Applejack’s foot, scaling up her leg. She gradually unwound the tape as she climbed, already seeming like she would run out of tape by the time she reached the top of her calf. She didn’t thought and she was able to continue her climb, reaching her knee incredibly fast. Naturally, she knew that her measurements weren’t going to be totally correct at the moment, given that Applejack was sitting down. She’d address that matter when it became more of a problem though, for now she needed to get to the top of Mt Applejack. She scampered across Applejack’s thighs, bouncing in her step like she was on a massive trampoline. Butter watched her like a hawk, as he assumed Applejack was as well, just in case she strayed off the beaten path and tried something risky. Coming up on Applejack’s belly, Pinkie waited for there to be any kind of objections from the pair. When none came to her, she dug her fingers in tightly to Applejack’s stomach and resumed her climb. She struggled a little but thanks to Applejack’s ticklish response to Pinkie’s hands upon her stomach, but it only made her grip tighter.

She scaled her way up Applejack, disappearing under her shirt and coming up through her cleavage, rather than going around the two oversized peaks. Applejack squirmed as she failed to stop Pinkie traversing that particular route. She caught Butter’s attention when she made Applejack react that way, but once he saw her messy hair approaching her collarbone, he quelled himself. Pinkie was clearly up to something, but it wasn’t anything he needed to be wary of, at least not at this stage. Pinkie crawled all the way up to Applejack’s shoulder and took a moment to breath to herself. It was quite the height to scale, Butter must do himself an injury every time he tried to do something for Applejack. Massages especially must have been one such occasion, all that running up and down and trying his hardest to get refresh the parts that others won’t reach. Pinkie thought about what she’d be like if she were the same size as Applejack, she’d probably spend her time laughing. She was incredibly ticklish, even more so than Applejack was. A tiny Butter, scampering up and down her body and digging his little fingers into the smallest, most sensitive areas of her body would have her in a fit of giggles. Perhaps one day, but for now she had a job to do and to do it she needed something from Applejack.

“Hey, AJ! Think ya can stand up for me? I need a little more of an accurate measurement and I can’t do that if you’re sitting down!” cried Pinkie into Applejack’s gargantuan ear.

“Alright, alright, ah don’ need ya t’ yell so loud, Pinkie, hold on,”

Pinkie didn’t heed Applejack’s advice to hold on and tumbled backwards of her shoulder, saved by clutching onto the tape measure and hoisting herself back up. Like some kind of intrepid adventurer, she climbed her way back up to her shoulder, remarking at the changed view. Quite a bit higher than last time, giving the surrounding air a much more deadly feel, especially after her near traumatic experience. Pinkie grabbed hold of a chunk of Applejack’s neck flesh and pulled her way high enough to take hold of her hair. This new haircut of hers, whilst looking absolutely stunning and left Applejack looking even more impossibly attractive, left a lot to be desired in the climbing department. Still, she managed to reach it eventually, even if she did cause Applejack a little discomfort. The end was in sight now, the crown of Applejack’s head, a golden meadow of her pixie cut hair. She raced towards it, then realising that it wouldn’t be an accurate measurement, so she diverted towards Applejack’s forehead. Once there, she held up the tape and get her final measurement of 411.6 inches, a record for cakes and tape measures everywhere.

Making a mental note in her head and already converting it to the amounts of ingredients required to make a cake of that size, she let go of the tape. It drifted down to the ground, spiralling round and round as she leapt down after it. Expertly twisting and turning through the air and preparing herself for a soft landing. Applejack raised an eyebrow as she watched a pink blur fly past her line of vision, looking down to see where it was headed. Her eyes had barely settled on the lower angle before she felt something plop down into her breasts. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Pinkie had used her breasts as a fall pillow to ease her fall. She looked down and gave Applejack a serious face, whilst Pinkie gave her a cheeky grin in response. She wiggled herself in deeper and lounged back into it like she was in a rubber ring at the pool. All that was missing was a drink in her hand and a pair of sunglasses over her eyes as well.

“Are ya done now, Pinkie?”

“Sure am! Got the measurements I needed and now I can get things moving!”

“Well, speakin’ o’ things that c’n get movin’, ah would really appreciate it, if ya could make a move yersel’. Butter an’ ah have some things t’ get done t’day.”

“Ooooh, ‘things’, eh? Sure, Applejack, I’ll head back to town and leave you to your ‘things’!” replied Pinkie, knowingly.

Pinkie sprung up and dug into Applejack’s cleavage like a mole, coming out on the underside of her breasts. She climbed down her stomach, slipping into her shorts to keep gripping at her flesh, rather than the tough to grip fabric. Applejack blushed and squirmed as Pinkie wormed her way across her thighs, her fluffy tail brushing against some of the more sensitive and ticklish areas on the way. Butter cocked his head to look around Applejack to see what she was squirming about, but Pinkie was soon sliding down her thighs to her feet. Leaving Butter to shrug his shoulders and returned to keeping Applejack’s seat warm for her return. Finally at the lowest reaches of Applejack’s body, Pinkie curled up on her foot. She clutched tightly at her ankle with one hand and with the other pointed out towards the door.

“Onwards, steed!” exclaimed Pinkie.

Applejack did as she was told, not wanting to give Pinkie a platform to extend her stay and essentially walked her over to the door. She opened the door and swung her foot back, kicking it forwards and sending Pinkie sailing through the air. Not very high, but certainly far enough that made her feel like she was flying. She even squealed a joyous ‘whooo’ as soared through the air, coming in and landing a couple of feet away from the front door. She turned around and waved back to Applejack, shouting ‘goodbye’. She received a wave back and smile from Applejack, who was happy to be getting back to Butter and happy that she hadn’t done Pinkie an injury. She watched the peppy, party person leave her premises, skipping off happily to herself, ready to begin whatever plan she had in mind. Applejack closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief, before she returned herself to Butter.

“Next time, we’re goin’ w’ th’ sickness thing again, ah c’n see whut ya mean when ya say it’s tirin’. Not t’ mention invasive…”

Butter cocked his head again at her comment and shrugged his shoulders, before resuming cuddling up to Applejack and forgetting about it.

****

A few hours later, back in town, Pinkie had begun to make a start on the cake. She did not have a long time to get this whole thing baked, at the very most she had until that afternoon and if things didn’t go well, she wouldn’t know what to do with herself. She had enlisted the help of one Twilight Sparkle to help with the heavy lifting, as the bowls she would mixing these ingredients in, weren’t exactly conventional. She had an entire area out the back of Sugarcube Corner ready for her cooking and mixing of this enormous cake. She hadn’t asked for permission to set up a giant clay oven in the exact shape of the cake she was making. Nor did she have permission for the oversized kitchen equipment, but if Twilight was willing to help out, she could overrule any decisions. Especially those made by the local government, giving Pinkie a kind of diplomatic immunity in some respects. She mixed up the first few batches with ease, finding no real difficulty at all in progressing. She could mix up a batch of ingredients in a few minutes and Twilight could send it out to the big bowl out back fast enough that she only ever needed two bowls.

Pinkie didn’t know it yet, but a crowd was developing out at the back of the bakery, folks had been attracted to the sight of the giant bowl and oven. After all, it wasn’t exactly the sort of thing that you find in the town on any kind of normal day. They were eager to see just what was going to be created in this oven and more importantly, who required such a large cake. The residents had their ideas and to be fair, most of them were right, given that it was more than enough for one person. In fact it was more than enough for a hundred people, and that was without the possibility that it would be decorated with all things sweet and sickly. Occasionally, one or two would let curiosity get the better of them and upon seeing Twilight helping out with the creation they would bombard her with questions. She always replied the same though, how she knew about as much as the people themselves did. It was a disappointing response at first, but upon repeated hearings, it grew their tension instead. As more and more people approached the spectacle, the rumours and their absurdity, sure as the mix in the bowl did as well.

They ranged from the truly bizarre to the somewhat reasonable. One made a comment about how it could be for a race of giants, of which, Applejack was a member of, and that this was to be presented to her as a peace offering. A few people championed that story, making slight variations to the origins of the giants. Some said they came from far-off lands and weren’t as civilised as the people of Ponyville and Canterlot. Others said they had come from outer space, beings from another planet, aliens as it were. Some of the more rebellious people said that the cake mix, oven and bowl were part of a forbidden spell that the Princesses were going to use to keep the place safe from future evils. It was backed up by several users of magic, though even some of them seemed a little dubious in nature. Someone had a reasonable thought along that same line of thought about how it was some sort of reverse-fertiliser totem. Designed to put an end to the Everfree Forest once and for all and instead make it a place where all could visit and feel safe.

The real reason all this was happening was inside their rumours, chopped up and peppered across them all. It was just a case that nobody had bothered to think things through a little and put all the different sections together. By now, the bowl of cake mix was beginning to look a little full and Twilight had informed Pinkie of this news. The pink baker was delighted and handed Twilight a final batch of the mixture, this time joining her for the deposit. Along the way, she picked up a stepladder and carried it with her out into the rear of Sugar Cube Corner. Whilst Twilight dumped the small amount of mixture into the larger batch, Pinkie set up the ladder against the side of the oven and clambered up it. She reached the top and pulled the plug out the top of the oddly shaped oven, setting it down to the side and leaning over the side of the oven.

“Alright, Twi! Bring ‘er up!”

The crowd watched with bated breath, as Twilight summoned her magic and lifted the bigger bowl up to the top of the oven. She strained once or twice, causing the crowd to gasp at the prospect that the bowl would be dropped and that they would be showered with cake mix. Twilight elevated the bowl to Pinkie’s height and relied on her to help for further movement.The way the oven worked was that, instead of opening the front and placing in a tray of things to be heated, this oven kept the equipment to a minimum. Completely sealed, aside from the plug at the top, which Pinkie had already opened, it allowed things to cook at a much faster temperature. There was no need to constantly open the oven up to try and see if it was cooked enough yet, so the temperature was constant. Of course, that didn’t give people the best idea of how Pinkie was going to get the completed cake out of the oven, but she always had a plan. She yelled down to Twilight, guiding her closer and closer to hole in the top, before finally telling her to stop. Then she gave the call to pour, instructing Twilight to specifically tip the bowl in the direction that she was looking. Anywhere else and she would end up wasting some of the precious concoction and Pinkie really didn’t want to be mixing up more.

She watched intently, peering into the hole to see whether or not the mix was rising up above the limit. There was nothing worse than an overflow of mixture; all that excess just ruined the amount of pressure inside, essentially putting the cake on a course for burning. Naturally, being the expert baker that she was, Pinkie had crafted the exact amount of mixture for this particular cake and once the bowl was empty, she plugged it up again. Then she was back down the ladder to set the cooking aspect in motion. Considering the size of the oven, the dials to set the temperature and other settings were incredibly small. Every option fit onto a tiny little panel that was situated at the front of the oven. She flicked a few dials here and there and the oven began to hum as it began to cook the mixture inside. Now all she needed to was sit back and wait for the allotted time to pass and she could wow the crowd with a record-breaking cake.

Meanwhile, Applejack and Butter were finding that their day of birthday relaxation was turning out to be quite difficult. They found themselves constantly drawn to whatever it was that Pinkie was trying to do. If she hadn’t measured Applejack up for something, then they probably would have chalked it up to Pinkie being Pinkie. As it was, she was clearly doing something that directly affected Applejack, perhaps some kind of clothing range? Every time they got settled, they found themselves thinking of something else that it could be and each one was worse than the other. Eventually, it got to the point where they abandoned their attempts at relaxation and made for the door. Applejack carried Butter as they exited the homestead, seeing as how she wanted to get there quick. Butter didn’t object, he was always looking for a reason to spend a little more time cosied up to specific spots on her body. This time was much more special than usual, despite it being her cleavage once more. As she jogged her way through to Ponyville, Butter was bounced pleasantly around, the expectant feeling of sickness being outdone by arousal.

Surprisingly, nobody felt the quakes as Applejack drew closer, either they were too transfixed on the oven, or they were used to it. Pinkie Pie was ready to unveil the creation to her public and decorate it. During the cooking time, she’d nipped back inside to pick up a hammer and chisel, which might have seemed odd, but she had her reasons. She turned the oven off and pressed the chisel to the corner of the oven, readying the hammer. The crowd fell silent as they tried to figure out what her game was and whether or not they should be moving back. Before they could react, she swung the hammer down against the chisel, tapping it softly. Despite the soft tap, a large crack appeared and began to snake its way up the oven. Smaller cracks splintered off, reaching around the entirety of the oven, turning into a three-dimensional rendition of some crazy paving. Pinkie tapped once more upon the top of the chisel and the whole over crumbled into bits. All that was left was an enormous, perfectly baked, multi-layered cake, in sore need of some icing and other decoration.

Utilising Twilight’s help again, Pinkie Pie layered on the orange icing that she had prepared earlier before making the cake mix. Some of the gaps had to be filled with different coloured icing, but Pinkie was sure Applejack wouldn’t mind. They unfurled it down from the top of the cake, rolling it down the sides of the cake until it had been covered in the icing. Now it came to Pinkie’s favourite part, using sheets of icing was one thing, but piping the liquid stuff was even better. In order to get such an experience, she had needed to clear out just about every piece of liquid icing that the bakery stocked. Together with Twilight and a multitude of piping bags, she added several pounds of yellow, liquid, icing to the cake, spits and spots to accentuate the brightness. On the top three layers, she iced the words ‘happy’, ‘birthday’ and ‘Applejack!’ Once that was done, she hopped her way down to the floor, just in time to feel a rumbling in the ground as Applejack and Butter arrived on the scene. They’d been attracted by the crowds of people, big enough to contain just about everyone in the town.

“Happy birthday, Applejack!” yelled Pinkie, looking up at her friend.

“So this is whut ya were plannin’ huh, Pinkie? Ah appreciate it, but ah honestly expected somethin’ even bigger. Ah mean, yer not exactly one fer subtle…” Butter smiled along with Applejack as she spoke.

“Oh just you wait, Applejack! Next year it’ll be even bigger and better and not just a cake! You won’t have seen anything like it before!”

“Oh mah, well ah guess ah c’n look forward t’ seein’ jus’ whut ya have in mind. So, wus this whut ya needed t’ measure me for?”

“Sure it was! A cake as big as Applejack, which was the plan! Now, dig in everyone!”

Pinkie bounded up the cake, diving into a large pile of icing and slurping it up. Applejack stepped in and stuck her finger into the top of the cake, deciding to eat from there, rather than lower down. Butter hopped out of her cleavage and sat up the top of the cake with her, eating with her and watching to make sure she didn’t eat him. Those that were below her were mindful of her feet as they too clambered up onto the cake for a piece. Pinkie watched Applejack chow down on her creation, thankful that she had been happy to accept it. She watched how the crowd took to the cake like locusts, eating anything and everything they could get their hands on. Sure it was unorthodox as far as parties went, but the fact that it made everyone happy, Butter and Applejack especially, it was a success to her. She was already planning next year’s party, another cake that’s even bigger, but perhaps this time she’d find a way to make the host a little bigger too. Wouldn’t that be something? The biggest party host ever to host the biggest parties around! It was a stretch of course, and incredibly unlikely, but hey, a goal was a goal and always good to have. She flopped down into some icing and daydreamed about the future parties she was going to come to host…