Staying Put

Jason desperately wanted to get his 501 swag on, but he couldn't think of anywhere in Equestria that sold Levi's jeans. He knew he had to actually turn up and impress today—impress a fashion designer, no less—and it was quickly dawning on him that he didn't own any clothes.

Like seriously, no clothes. Not even a scarf or a fucking sock.

It might have been an oversight on his part, but why the hell would he have needed clothes before now? There'd been no winter to speak of since he arrived, he had a fireplace if he needed it, and above all, he was a pony. He was still getting his head around ponies wearing clothes, had been ever since going to Ponyville yesterday. Not that he hadn't seen it before, just never considered actually partaking in the odd phenomenon.

Well, until now at least. Right now he'd kill for a scarf or a sock, at least he'd look like he'd made some goddamn effort. Rarity was probably getting dressed up to the nines right now, applying make-up, doing her mane, beautifying to no end, and here he was, considering it a personal victory that he'd managed to bathe in a lake a night ago.

He gave his coat a self-conscious sniff: he didn't really have any odor about him, smelled quite clean, actually. Hopefully the sweat clinging to his coat wouldn't ruin that. Jason wasn't one to worry too much about dates, meeting women, any of that, but something about this situation had him a little on edge. He supposed he didn't feel completely in control—he'd been out of the game a little while, he was dealing with a mare in a world where they were even more alien in personality than regular women. Suppose it did make sense that he was nervous.

Jason glanced in his non-existent mirror, ensuring his imaginary outfit was colour coordinated, and soon after the mime realised he had no idea what else to do in order to get ready. Every pastime he could imagine involved either getting sweaty or drinking, and he didn't want to turn up to his date/meet up either exhausted or half-cut. If anyone was going to ruin this, he was determined it wouldn't be him. You don't look a gift horse in the mouth, after all.

Let's see, it was... fuck, what was the time? Almost sunset, that was the time. He really needed a clock. Jason had the feeling he'd be slightly early if he left now, but being a little early was better than being late, so he ran a hoof through his mane, checking... something regarding the consistency of it, hopped out the door and locked up.

"Ay baby u want sum fuck?"

"AHH WHAT THE SHIT." Jason shielded his face with his hooves, his ultra-manly panic superimposed on his face. When nothing happened, no death, no loss of limb, he lowered them and squinted his eyes open to check what ungodly fate had managed to find him this time.

A pink, twitching thing awaited him. She looked as if she was fucked up on various substances from the way she ecstatically jolted from one place to another, her entire body so animated that she might in fact have been having an epileptic fit. Her words played back in his mind, and he let his guard down ever so slightly, knowing she at least probably wasn't out here to murder him. That didn't stop him from producing an elongated groan. "Can't you sex starved freaks leave me alone for just a couple of days? Please?!"

"Sex starved? I didn't know you could eat sex! That sounds sticky." The pink thing stuck out her tongue and made a 'blech!' sound before leaping forwards and wrapping her hooves around him. She smelled like cotton candy and repressed childhood memories. "I just knew there was somepony living here!"

Jason growled, dislodging her from his body and placing her back in front of him. "What gave it away, the house or the fresh garden?"

"Both, silly!" She bounced in circles around him, making a weird squeaking noise with each leap that made it sound as if she had a dog toy lodged in her esophagus. "My name's Pinkie Pie, but all of my friends call me Pinkie Pie! It's really nice to meet you, mister new stallion!"

Okay, okay. So she was really over the top, potentially tweaked out, and scary as hell, but she seemed friendly? "How did you even find me out here? I'm not used to ponies just turning up, not until recently, at least. Did someone tell you about me?"

"Of course they didn't, or I would've already visited!" Jason chose not to try and wrap his head around that one, just letting her continue. "I was in the middle of my bi-monthly Everfree Forest forage, looking for some nice woody trees to take home, and then I saw this house in the distance!" Jason nodded, opening his mouth to respond. "And this house was wooden, and it looked freshly built, and there was even a garden outside!"

Oh, apparently she wasn't finished.

"And I remember looking at it and thinking to myself, 'gee, I've never seen a wooden house with a garden outside in the Everfree Forest, especially not when I've been foraging for trees, it must be new!' So, then, I decided that I'd come over and find out who lived in it, but nopony answered! Then it got dark, so I decided to sleep for a while—"

Wait, this crazy bitch camped out overnight just to find out who lived here? That's it, walking away.

And of course, she hops right after me. "—and then I woke up, and I started wondering if everything I remembered was just a dream, and then I wondered why I couldn't see anything, and then I thought I should open my eyes, and I was right! My eyes were shut, and when I opened them, there was still a house in the Everfree that was made out of wood, and a garden, so I walked over and went to knock—"

Jason was driving his hooves into the ground harder with each step, he was sure he was going to begin drawing blood soon. "Please... please stop. I think this is actually lowering my IQ."

Nope, just decided to take a huge breath instead. Honestly, fuck this mare. "And there you were on the other side, and I panicked and said 'ay baby u want sum fuck' because I like dick and I thought it would be a good way to introduce myself but it didn't really work out... so then you asked me my name and how I found out about this place and I told you that I was on my bi-monthly Everfree Forest forage and saw this wooden house in the distance and—"

Jason was seriously considering adopting the surname Vorheeves at this point. "I can't believe you're actually serious right now. You're about to try and say it all again, aren't you? Honestly, I will do absolutely anything to keep you from saying it all again. Please stop, you're physically hurting me."

The pneumatic drill paused for a second, the grating sound in Jason's brain briefly abating, and the glimmer of hope that it might have been gone forever just as soon faded as she fired up her bounding, raucous foghorn once more. "Anything, you say?"

He looked at her expression. Her expression looked back at him. "Is that—is that a fucking leer? Did you just wink at me? Are you seriously doing this right now?" He thought about the offer he'd just made and her reaction, and what kind of colossal fuckpot this mare was proving to be. "You're seriously doing this right now, aren't you?"

"I'm seriously propositioning you right now yes," she replied without missing a single beat.

Jason rubbed a hoof against his temple. What the fuck was wrong with the ponies here? "Look... no. I've got somewhere to be, and I need to get to Ponyville, I haven't really got time to—"

"That's great, because I'm heading to Ponyville too! We can go together, actually! And while we walk I can tell you all about my day in the Everfree, and the house I saw and the new stallion I met!"

"You know, on second thought, fine. What do you want."

"Well..." Pinkie Pie paused, scratching her chin and bouncing her eyes from side to side like a bloody abacus. "I was thinking you could give me some good ol' fashioned anal, but you said you've gotta be somewhere, so..." Jason blinked. She wasn't standing behind him anymore. What the fuck was she doing?

Oh, clambering underneath him and wrapping her forehooves around his belly, her hind hooves around his neck, sure. "Can you still walk okay like that?"

Jason could actually feel her breath tickling his underbelly, but above anything he noticed how little she weighed. He tested a hoof and found he could still step forwards with little difficulty, the whole time an upside down Pinkie being latched to him. This was about the strangest thing that had happened all week, somehow.

But if it shut her up, he'd fucking roll with it. "Yeah, seems fine. So were you serious about—wellIguessyouwere." Pinkie was holding on tight beneath him, her mane brushing against his coat as she began to lick at his testicles, long, swathing brushes without warning or expectation that left him wet and exposed to the wind's bite.

He continued in his awkward forward shuffle, trying to ignore the sensation that came about with her tongue's repeated paths over his testes, swirling and looping and bathing him in spittle. She played with each of them in succession, worshipping the pair, and against his better judgment, Jason could already feel his cock beginning to slide from its sheath at her unorthodox treatment.

Still, he had to admit, difficulty walking and the strangest buildup to a blowjob he'd ever experienced were miles better than listening to this mare speak. Not only that, but her tongue was soft and eager, and unlike Rainbow before, she didn't seem afraid to get busy with each part of him.

She'd bury her muzzle in his sack and draw back with soft kisses that almost made him miss a step, she'd flick her tail up and bat him square on the nose with it, she'd take one of his balls in her mouth and gingerly suckle on it until he was sucking air through his teeth.

He could feel a pulsation beginning to shoot through his body, emanating at the base of his now unsheathed cock and spreading out to light up each of his senses in succession. He might not have been looking for this tryst in the woods, but it had definitely found him well, each of her skilled tongue's actions only causing him to grow harder and imagine what it would be like when she finally stopped playing around with him and got to the main course.

Then, a single, solitary lick up the base of his cock, her tongue swirling and sliding from side to side as she slathered smooth saliva over his length. He was slippery, rock hard, and ready to go, and as she finally drew up, shifting her body back a little, Jason found himself desperate to catch her weight instead of tumbling to the ground below. He barely managed to stay up, but the sudden turbulence of the action sent his unexpected passenger muzzle first into his cock.

And she had her mouth open. Of course she did. Probably about to speak or something, because he heard a very distinct 'mff!' as she took half of his impressive length in one gulp, something Rainbow had had a fair amount of trouble with.

Then Jason started to worry. He thought about asking if she needed to come down, if that might have been too sudden for her, ignoring the incessant throb he could feel in his engorged shaft out of concern alone, but his worries were quelled as soon as they were formed by Pinkie doing something that he certainly didn't expect.

Well, suppose it was better to expect whatever you didn't with a mare like this.

Instead of pulling back, she gripped around his barrel tight and pushed her head lower, taking almost all of him in her mouth and softly trilling her way up. The way her tongue skipped, the vibration against his cock, matching his steadily rising pulse and the hum that came with it, making his ears twitch, it only spurred him on more, and above anything he began to regret that he had no way to thrust, that he could only keep walking and rely on the motion to increase her speed. He was grunting and panting and finding it difficult to keep his balance, but he dared not speak if only because it might invite her to take his cock out of her mouth and reply.

And damn it, if there was one thing that would kill his buzz right now it was another of her rants. So it was that moans carried by the air and the slurp of her mouth against his medial ring were the only sounds they communicated with, and even when he grew used to the rhythm of her motions she'd switch things up. She moved from long, drawn out movements to quick and rapid ones, incorporating her hooves in sequence and tapping her tongue on the underside of his head at random intervals until something seriously heavy was beginning to grow in his belly.

He knew the feeling, of course. It was one that finally sent him tumbling off of his feet, rolling around onto his back as Pinkie remained glued to the top of him, still sucking and playing with no interest paid to their tumble, her ears pushed back and her mane in disarray, her tail pulled up and exposing her glistening slit...

He was almost about to indulge when Pinkie went into overdrive, the crazed thing opening her mouth wider and pulling back so only the edges of her plump lips touched around the head of his cock, her tongue occasionally flicking out and inviting him to burst, almost begging him to let his seed fly to the back of her throat. He threw his head back, eyes scrunched shut, and the world became an opaque picture of swirling colours as he pressed his hooves down hard, ecstasy gripping him, taking control of him.

She had him right on the edge, and she knew it. One final touch, a kiss, soft and planted right on his tip, and he began to erupt, coating her face and moisturising her with his spunk, which she greedily licked up and cleaned from his cock with attentive tongue-work and multiple gulps. The excess spilled onto her, but she made sure to miss none of it, rush after rush of orgasm racking his brain and frying his nerves with unparalleled satisfaction as he laid back and spent a moment forgetting that the world existed.

Her face was a portrait, and he was the painter, but eventually she'd drained the last from him, sitting up and wiping herself clean, taking a moment to wipe the excess from her face and then bouncing back up with an irrepressible energy as he laid there, panting. "Thanks for that! I was right... sex does taste sticky! Tasty sticky though." She hummed for a moment, licking her lips again, then moved to stand. "I can't wait to tell the girls about you!"

Oh, god, not more of them. "Wait wait wait, what do you mean 'the girls'?"

"Oh, you know! There are six of us! I mean, seven, arguably, and then I guess there's Spike, but he's only a girl in spirit. Let's see, there's me, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity—"

"Wait wait wait. No. Wait." Jason leapt to his feet, post-orgasm fatigue be damned, suddenly wide eyed. "You're trying to tell me you know all of those girls? You're all friends? Wait a second, you know Rarity too? She's friends with all of you?"

"Well... yeah! We go waaay back, except for Starlight, that was more recent, but—"

"So what you're trying to tell me is..." Jason made a few mental calculations. Each one of them added up to him being both confused and potentially screwed. Did Rarity know that her friends had already met him? That two of them had now sucked him off?

Best to just play the ignorant card for now, last thing he needed was this one following him around anymore. "Uhh, don't worry, I think I get it. Anyways, I need to go. Like I said, places to be and—"

"Say no more, say no more. We'll go right now!"

Jason's brain almost ceased functioning. "No. Just me. Alone. I need to go alone."

"Okie dokie lokie, see you tomorrow!" And with that, still partially cum soaked, she began to bounce away.

"...please don't camp outside my house again."

"No promises!" she called back with a wink, and the further she got away from him, the more peaceful Jason's life again began to feel.

And the sun was setting in the sky. That meant something. He had to be at Rarity's boutique in... fuck.

Run run run run run run run.