Never Enough Pie

by theworstwriter

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1108

There's never enough pie.

It's a microscopic one-shot! This was written for StarmanTheta's weekly writing prompt, this week's prompt being "never enough pie."

It's too tiny to be described without giving up the ending.

Published 2011-12-08 11:00:23 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-08 11:00:23 UTC

Never Enough Pie

Rainbow Dash lay sprawled out on top of a fluffy little cloud, gently drifting over Ponyville. She snored softly, lost in yet another peaceful nap. Until she was hit in the flank by a flying pie tin.

“Huhwha?”

“Sorry ‘bout that, Rainbow!”

Dash lazily rolled off the edge of the cloud and fell toward the ground. As she approached, her eyes slowly fluttered open. Just before impact, she slowed to a nearly complete stop and landed gently next to Applejack’s stall in the market.

“Wowzers Dashie! How did you do that?” Pinkie asked, bouncing excitedly.

“Oh, you know, just being awesome. Now what’s happening? Why’d you guys wake me up?”

“Was an accident, and Ah’m real sorry. Pinkie was just passin’ by an Ah wanted to give a friendly hello.”

Pinkie continued to bounce. “And she did, and then I turned to say hi, and then I tripped over something! I don’t know what it was because I wasn’t watching where I was going because I was saying hi to Applejack.”

“So why am I awake?”

“Ooh, I know this one! Pick me! Pick me!”

Rainbow Dash pointed hoof at Pinkie.

“Because I was getting a bunch of new pie tins to bring back to the bakery, and when I tripped something blew up and launched all the stuff I was carrying!”

“You carry explosives?” Dash asked.

“Not explosives. Party supplies!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Party supplies... that explode?”

“Explode is such a mean word... how about ‘pop’ instead? That’s nicer and sounds like a lot more fun. I don’t want to explode, but I might want to pop. It would probably make a great dance move!”

“Whatever you say, Pinkie Pie. Since I’m up anway, I guess I’m gonna go move some clouds. See you guys later, okay?”

“Bye Dashie!”

“Later, Rainbow.”

The pegasus shot off like a rocket, quickly finding herself exactly where she needed to be. As she was about to get to work, something pink caught her attention. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted what appeared to be a bouncing pink pony juggling cupcakes. Work could wait.

She landed next to the pony in question, and it was undoubtedly Pinkie Pie. And she WAS juggling cupcakes, much to the amusement of the foals seated in front of her.

“... and THAT’S why these cupcakes are the most tastiest cupcakes around! Hi Dashie!”

“Pinkie, what are you doing over here?”

“What do you mean, Dashie? Can’t you see I’m making smiles? These cupcakes-” Pinkie stopped talking and started vibrating rapidly. Her entire body was jiggling about with small, uniform shakes. She would jump an inch to the left, and then a step to the right, without ever actually moving a muscle. She didn’t even stay on the ground. After several seconds of the strange motions, they stopped. “You SAW!”

“Saw what? I was just going to ask you-”

Pinkie gasped. “You SAW!” She gasped again. “YOU KNOW! We have to go right now Dashie! You probably have a lot of questions. BORING questions!”

“Pinkie, I just want to know what-”

“There’s no time! You’re boring already! We have to hurry to the basement underneath Sugarcube Corner!”

Pinkie grabbed Dash and galloped away, leaving the cupcakes she had been juggling to fall to the ground and the foals to blink confusedly in the direction they had gone.

The door clicked shut behind Dash and her eyes grew wide as she scanned the room. It was... cold. Clinical, almost. But everywhere she looked, there were gleaming metallic items she couldn’t identify. Some were small and looked like tools. Some were large enough that you could fit a pony inside them. This didn’t look like the basement of a bakery, and it definitely didn’t look like anything Pinkie would be involved in.

“What is this place, Pinkie?”

“Hmm... I dunno what most ponies would call it. I just call it my Fun Room.”

“Your Fun Room? This doesn’t look very fun to me.”

“Silly Dashie. Have a walk around Ponyville. Look at all the ponies sighing about how boring things are. Like the ponies in the market! They have to sit there all day, and only ever get to do anything exciting when a customer shows up. Doesn’t that just make you super sad? Don’t you ever need to do something about it?”

“I just... I don’t get it, Pinkie. What does any of that have to do with... THIS?” Dash asked, waving her hooves wildly to indicate the many strange and unusual things around them. “And why did you have to take me down here?”

“Because, you silly filly... you KNOW. Or at least, I thought you did. But if you didn’t before, you sure do now!” Pinkie said with a wicked grin on her face.

“This is kinda confusing... what do I know, what does it have to do with all the ponies around town, and why are we here?”

Pinkie placed a hoof on Dash’s shoulder and smiled wide. “All those sad ponies need to be fixed, so I take care of the problem. But it’s hard work keeping such a big secret. Now that you know, I need to take care of you, too!”

Dash knocked her hoof away and stepped back. “Pinkie, you’re not making any sense! What in the HAY is going on, and what are you going to do to me?”

“Hmm... what ARE we going to do?” Pinkie asked.

A giggle slithered out of the darkness behind Rainbow Dash. “The same thing we do to everypony, Pinkie.”

Dash whirled around to get a glimpse of the pony behind her, but saw only empty space. She let out a breath she hadn’t been aware she was holding and turned back around. Her jaw hit the floor when she saw not one, but TWO Pinkie Pies, both grinning like madmares.

“We’re going to throw you... A PARTY!”

An explosion of streamers and confetti caked the walls of the room in festive debris while the wheels in Dash’s brain spun in place, desperate but unable to gain any traction.

“You... but there’s... I... what?”

“We throw ponies parties to cheer them up!”

“I KNOW THAT! WHY ARE THERE TWO OF YOU?”

“Oh there are a lot more than two of us,” one of the Pinkies said.

“What? But... WHY? HOW?”

“Do you know how many ponies there are in Ponyville, Dashie? A LOT. That’s how many. I can’t throw ALL of them parties all by myself, so I decided I needed help. It’s still really hard! Even with the cloning machine, there’s never enough Pie.”