Don't Read This Story

by Super Trampoline

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character, Self Insert
Length: 1067

This is a story about Super Trampoline bugging Twilight and receiving sage advice from Pinkie Pie, and pondering his own mental state. It's not particularly good or interesting. I wrote it in about an hour, just to get through some writer's block.

This is a story about Super Trampoline bugging Twilight and receiving sage advice from Pinkie Pie, and pondering his own mental state. It's not particularly good or interesting. I wrote it in about an hour, just to get through some writer's block.

Published 2018-05-22 22:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-22 22:00:07 UTC

The Next Day

Super Trampoline came to the conclusion that Twilight Sparkle wasn't going to help him with his writer's block. Probably because she didn't really like him. Probably because he pulled stunts like waking her up in the middle of the night.

As Revenge he decided to write a very stupid story about her. It wasn't personal semicolon he just really needed to work on his writer's block. Also it surprised him that his voice to text spell didn't know what to do with semi-colons.

Here is the story he wrote:

Once Upon a Time Twilight Sparkle woke up. She went to the bathroom, drank some water, then walked downstairs. Then she ate a grapefruit and two eggs scrambled for breakfast. God, where am I going with this?

Twilight Sparkle was grading papers for the Friendship school that she opened when she heard a knock on her door. " Come on in, she said. It's not like I'm busy or anything."

It was Super Trampoline. Again. Twilight Sparkle sighed. "You again?"

"I tried to write a story about you but I just didn't know what to write."

"Why don't you write a story about trying to write a story?" Twilight replied sarcastically.

"I'm already doing that. We are in that story. And the sooner you help me think of something to actually write, the sooner I'll go away."

" fine, here is a writing prompt for you: Angry Alicorn tears wings off of annoying batpony. More at 11."

" Yeesh, Super Trampoline replied. " Who pissed in your coffee?"

" You did, asshole, when you woke me up in the middle of the night! "Now Please go away. Go ask someone else for help with writing a story."

Super Trampoline could tell he wasn't wanted here so he left.

That Evening

Super Trampoline sat alone in his 10 by 10 room. He was still bored and depressed. And he still didn't have the gumption to write anything. Maybe that was okay though. Maybe this was just a pause in writing, not an end. Maybe he just had to weather the storm, and things would get better in time and also with the help of cognitive behavioral therapy and medication and spells and getting a new job. If he got a new job he could save up money to go to Humey conventions again. That would be nice. But none of that--writing, jobs, getting his band going again, going to conventions--was going to happen if he just sat there and moped. Even if depression was exhausting, he had to push through this. And he knew he could do it. He was Super Trampoline. He could bounce back from this. With this encouraging thought, he set aside his quill and paper and went to take a shower. Self care is important, after all.

The Beginning

Twilight Sparkle heard a knock on her window. She turned over to go back to sleep. Hoping it was just a tree branch whacking the window or something even though her magical crystal Castle tree thing didn't have any branches that would whack windows. I guess old habits die hard. Anyway the knocking continued and increased in loudness and velocity.

"Ugh, fuck me." She grumbled. "Go away seriously it's 3 in the fucking morning please go away." she yelled to whoever might be knocking on her bedroom window.

"Oi, it's your friend Super Trampoline. Let me in!" she heard shouted, muffled by the fact that her window was closed.

" For Christ's sake you aren't my friend. I just put up with you. Now go away."

"That Isn't a very nice thing for the princess of friendship to say!" Super replied, still hoovering outside.

"UUUUGH! Fine. Whatever!" Twilight got up and tried it over to the window, letting Super Trampoline in.

"Now, what the fuck do you want?" It's three in the fucking morning. This better be good."

"I'm having writer's block. I was hoping we could go on an adventure."

"That! That Is why you woke me up in the middle of the night? What the heck, Super, what the heck?"

" Look, we're in the middle of the season so I know you aren't going to have any more Big Adventures for a while. Why don't we go have some fun?"

" because it's the middle of the night and I just want to fucking sleep, you bloody twat! Now please leave my room through the window I let you in or I will personally defenestrate you."

Twilight obviously wasn't in the mood for an adventure so Super Trampoline left.

Later That Same Day

Super Trampoline decided to visit Fluttershy. He figured he could use the walk. Wait a minute he was a bat pony. He could just fly. Anyway he flew to Fluttershy's Cottage.

Fluttershy however was in the middle of performing open heart surgery on Harry the bear. She really is a mare of many talents.

Super figured he should probably not disturb Fluttershy while she was doing that, so he decided to visit Pinkie Pie instead.

"Hey Pinkie. I'm having writer's block right now. Well, I have lots of ideas, but no desire to write them. Any advice?"

" Silly Philly.*

* I've been taking out most of the voice to text homonym issues that my spell is creating but this one is funny enough to leave in.

That isn't writer's block. That's depression."

"Well fuck. I knew that. What Do I do about it?" Super asked the Pink Party Pony.

"The same thing I: Find what gives you purpose and meaning and do those things. Then you'll be too busy and distracted to realize how depressed you are."

" Wow Pinkie Pie. That is actually useful advice. Thank you. Have you ever considered becoming a therapist if you ever get bored of Party throwing and cupcake selling?"

"Funny you should ask that. I do indeed do therapy on the side, but that's another story for another time.** Right now, I believe you have some introspection to do!"

She was right. So Super Trampoline bought a blueberry muffin and headed back to his music studio.

Author's Note

~~**I remember reading a story about Pinkie Pie being a psychologist or therapist, but now I can't find it.~~

FanOfMostEverything with the save! No wonder I couldn't find it; Masterweaver misspelled "Psychologist"! https://www.fimfiction.net/story/35444/pinkie-pie-psychologest