The Best Kind of Magic

by Bandy

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Sex, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 5886

Who knew earth pony magic had a sensual side?

Applejack decides to tell Rainbow Dash about a very special, very sensual secret regarding earth pony magic. Then she shows her. She shows her hard.

Contains clop, followed by feels.

Published 2012-08-28 08:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-28 08:24:01 UTC

A Roll in the Hay

To friend and fellow Appledasher Gutovi-kun. Hopefully this time I spelled your name right.

“Applejack?” Rainbow Dash kicked open the door to the old Apple Family storage barn hesitantly, the weathered wood creaking and groaning under the stress of the blow. “You there?” Except for the clatter the door made the barn was deathly still. A large pyramid of barrels, probably containing next season’s still-aging cider, stood stacked against the wall. Large bales of hay occupied the remaining corners, and stray bits of straw from said piles absentmindedly floated around the cyan mare as she made her way into the center of the barn.

“AJ? Seriously, you’re starting to creep me out.” Against the speedster’s better judgement, she crept deeper into the shadowy confines of the wooden building. Every step brought another shadow to life, every breath another monster ready to jump out and devour her. She wasn’t scared, of course - just apprehensive.

Finally, she had had enough. “That’s it. I’m getting out of here. Maybe she went to the house to get out of this creepy ba - woah!” She never got the chance to finish, as a familiar orange hoof stretched out from the shadows and clamped her mouth shut before she had a chance to scream. As soon as the muzzle was in place the orange appendage dragged the thrashing blue mare back into a tiny alcove nestled in between two of the barrels.

“Quit yer squirmin’, it’s only me!” The voice, soft with a distinct southern twang made the rainbow mare’s movements cease. Pushing the hoof away from her face she tried to turn around in the tight confines and get a look at her cowpony partner.

“Applejack!” Holding out a hoof in the cramped space, she bumped her friend’s orange appendage in a friendly greeting. “What’s this all about? First you give me some super-secret note telling me to come here, then you make me double-check that I’m not being followed, and now this!” She tried gesturing around her, but hit a hoof on an old barrel above her. Wincing, she rubbed her blue appendage sourly. “You owe me an explanation.”

The apple farmer drooped as the verbal mini-tirade hit home. “Yer right. Ah'm sorry for bein’ all hush-hush about this. It’s just,” she shifted awkwardly, leaning out of the alcove to be sure nopony may have been eavesdropping on their conversation, “there’s something Ah wanted to show you. Ah'm really not supposed to, though - that’s why Ah'm bein’ so secretive.”

At the mention of some forbidden activity, Dash’s ears perked up. “Oh, is it an adventure? We’re going on an adventure, aren’t we!” She tried to shoot up into the air with joy, but only succeeded in hitting her head against another barrel. “Ow...”

Applejack laughed. “Dash, don’t go hurting yourself.” Pushing the pegasus out of the alcove before climbing out herself, she chuckled dryly. “Wouldn’t want you to be all worn out for the main event.”

“What was that?”

“Nothin’.” The farmer trotted to the door and peeked outside warily. The evening sun was at the apex of its descent, alighting on the hundreds of trees that surrounded the hills and casting thin, elongated shadows across the landscape. Not a single thing moved save the slow migration of the clouds overhead. Not a soul was in sight.

Perfect.

Applejack gently shut the door and turned the deadbolts with a loud clanking before turning to Dash. “Uh - AJ? Why’d you lock the door?”

The orange earth pony sighed, weighing the consequences of her imminent actions. Sure, her admission would open up a whole new level of closeness between Dash and she. But if her family found out... all that came to mind were images of her being chased out by an angry mob of Apples brandishing pitchforks and torches.

Yet that same, nagging bite in the back of her head baited her to tell. The tight, harsh pain in her chest that only came about when she knowingly sinned stabbed at her heart. She knew that the only way to end it was to fess up.

“Dash?” She moved closer to the pegasus, locking her eyes with her partner. “Y’all know how unicorns have their fancy magic spells, and pegasi have their connection with the weather and whatnot?”

Confused, Rainbow replied, “Of course I do. What are you getting at?”

“Well, us earth ponies have a connection with the land.” Dash sighed and gave her friend a scathing ‘duh, of course I already knew that, for Pete’s sake’ look. “Anyway,” she continued, wilting slightly under Dash’s intense stare, “most non-earth ponies tend to pity us whenever the talk turns to magic, ‘cause we have the least of it outta the three races.”

“Yeah, I noticed. You getting to your point anytime soon? There’s a cloud up in the sky somewhere with my name on it.”

“Hush, would ya? This is kinda important.” Rainbow rolled her eyes, but fell silent in compliance. “Anyway, most ponies think that all we can do is plant crops real well. That’s what they think our magic’s good fer.” The farmer suddenly became very nervous, eyes darting around suspiciously and hooves pawing at the raw dirt. Leaning in dangerously close to her friend, she whispered heavily, “But what nopony knows is that us earth ponies got more magic than that.”

Stepping back triumphantly, she let the weight of her statement bowl Dash over in shock. However it soon became clear to Applejack that Dash was doubled over in laughter, not surprise. In between raspy giggles the pegasus stammered, “Well duh!” It took nearly a full minute before Dash could stand, let alone talk. “Everypony has t-the magic of friendship and all t-that.” By the time she stopped clutching her sides and got up, the farmer was thoroughly angry and intent on letting her friend have it.

“Rainbow Dash,” she stretched the words out exasperatedly, “Ah wasn’t finished.” Before her cyan friend could get in another insult she added, “There’s more to our magic than just plantin’ and harvestin’ crops.”

Dash threatened to burst into another round of frenzied giggles. “Wait, don’t tell me. Earth pony magic also lets you travel through time and have crazy adventures with hairless monkeys!” She almost toppled over again but waved off any assistance from Applejack.

“RD, this ain’t funny!” Her friend’s sudden seriousness took the speedster off guard. “Ah'm tryin’ to tell y’all somethin’ big and yer laughin’ in mAh face!” Her eyes burned white-hot with exasperation.

Finally catching onto her friend’s distress, Rainbow did her best to stifle her laughter. “Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry.” She drew a circle in the air with her hoof. “Continue.”

Applejack knew that sincerity with Rainbow Dash was hard to come by, so when she said something seriously AJ knew enough to take it at face value. “Thank you. As Ah was sayin’, there’s more to earth pony magic than just plantin’ stuff.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. What is this ‘secret earth pony magic’ thingy that’s rustling all your jimmies?” Rainbow leaned in and arched an eyebrow. Beneath her apathetic exterior, she actually had some genuine interest in Applejack’s crazy story. AJ has no reason to lie, she thought apprehensively. Even if she did, I could tell. That pony can’t lie for beans.

“Now, don’t think Ah'm crazy or anything.” What in tarnation am Ah doin’? Ah could get in so much trouble fer tellin’ Dash! Applejack’s mind became a stormy sea of conflict and turmoil. Waves of doubt roiled and churned about violently, slamming into the sides of her head ceaselessly. “But... this magic that Ah'm goin’ on about... it helps us earth ponies... do certain things.”

“Like?”

“Well, it helps us do certain things with certain ponies that are close to us.”

“I don’t follow.”

“It helps us do certain things to certain ponies that are close to us.”

“Applejack, I’m not an egghead! Just spit it out already!”

“Oh, fer goddess’s sake - it helps us do certain ponies that are close to us.”

It took a long while, but finally the picture began to assemble itself in Dash’s mind. And that picture was not foal-friendly. “So...” she finally stammered, “this magic... it helps ponies...” instead of finishing her theory with words, she just clopped her front hooves together.

“Yup.”

For the tiniest fraction of a second, Applejack thought that she had broken Dash with this jarring information. Suddenly the pegasus let loose a stupid grin as wide as the barn they were in.

Then the snickers started. Tiny, fleeting giggles that in no time avalanched into a thunderous whoop that rattled the dust from the rafters. “So,” she stammered between racking bouts of laughter, “Earth ponies have this secret magic that makes them super attractive or something?”

“Actually, it makes the... acts... really good.”

“So earth pony magic lets you have super mega awesome sex? Pardon me if I find that just the tiniest bit crazy. And even if this ‘sex magic’ is real - which it isn’t - why haven’t I ever heard about it before?”

AJ rolled her eyes. “Do you want to be the pony that explains to a little filly how she’ll be real good at gettin’ all the colts in her class ta sleep with her?”

“Touche. But still,” she shrugged dismissively, “there’s no way you’re being honest here. This is all just some sort of prank or something.” Her magenta eyes swept the room, half-expecting Pinkie Pie to jump out of a shadow and throw a pie in her face.

“Ah'm tellin’ you, it’s true!” The apple farmer went on the defensive, glaring at her friend with a look that could curdle milk at two hundred yards. Of course she don’t believe you. Would you believe her if she told ya pegasi could breathe underwater?

Dash smirked dryly, flaring her wings in anticipation. “Prove it.”

Rainbow Dash never thought in a thousand years that Applejack would actually take her up on such a ridiculously absurd and downright dirty challenge. So surprised was she when her orange earth pony friend latched onto her and sent them both flying into a nearby bale of hay that she let out an almost filly-like squeal of shock - very unbecoming of the coolest mare in all of Equestria. Any attempt to prolong the scream disappeared completely as AJ darted in and locked her lips onto Dash’s.

The instant their lips met, the pegasus’s mind exploded. Her brain became a star, set for supernova; her body, a storm that sent lightning bolts of pleasure into the heart of the blast. The entire world became black, the void filled only by raw heat and the titillating taste of apples.

After several lifetimes the farmer pulled away, leaving a dumbstruck pegasus in her wake. Finally regaining some semblance of poise, she stammered indignantly, “Applejack! What the hay did you just do?”

“Ah proved it.”

For a moment no words came to mind. Only a thin, strained gurgle escaped Dash’s lips. She could hardly believe what just happened. My best friend... on the lips... Even after her brain managed to sort out the basic details, it still chugged brokenly like a burnt out engine.

And it felt good? That was the hardest fact for Dash to accept. Years of innocent, platonic friendship with the farmer disintegrated into a fiery ball that shriveled to nothing the instant their lips touched. Nevermind all the mind-boggling ramifications and awkwardness that would undoubtedly ensue from this - the only thought that passed through her addled mind was, this is going to bereally hard to explain to the girls.

“Uh, Dashie?” A tap on her muzzle brought her back to reality, which in this case was her best friend for most of her adult life licking her lips and tossing out a very scandalous look. “Y’all okay? Ah know it can be a bit of a shock, but don’t go keelin’ over on me.”

That’s actually not a bad idea. At least if I die I won’t have to deal with all this craziness. Finally, mustering up all the strength she could, Rainbow Dash spoke. “Applejack... you just kissed me.”

“Ah know, Ah was there. Did you-”

“What the hay?"The speedster’s sudden shout bowled Applejack backwards into a nearby hay bale. “I’ve been your best friend, and absolutely nothing more, for darn near all my adult life. And you choose now, of all times, to go and tongue-rape me?” Stomping towards the earth pony, Dash did her best to stay angry as her friend wilted under the verbal barrage. “And why in Celestia’s plot did you wait until now to tell me about this crazy-weird earth pony magic that make your kisses...” her tirade became a derailing train, losing momentum with each moment, “so awesome...”

Pushing herself up and level with Dash, Applejack replied matter-of-factly, “Could Ah make it any more obvious? Ah. Like. Ya.” She prodded her hoof into the pegasus’s chest to drive home her point. “Don’t ya like me?”

“Yes! B-but, not like-” She clopped her hooves together again, and the insinuation drove a mad groan out of her. “I’ve been your friend for a long time. Now you want me to be your marefriend. This is just a lot, okay?” Dash took a deep breath and retreated a bit, tapping her hoof and fluttering her wings nervously. “I’m just... what’s the word Twilight would use... conflicted! YeAh, I’m conflicted.”

Drawing out a resigned sigh, Applejack trotted closer. “Ah get it. There’s a lot goin’ on, and yer mind’s all cluttered right now.” The forlorn frown slowly turned into a coy smirk. “But Ah know how to fix that.” Before Rainbow could pull away the farmer launched herself into another deep kiss. This time she eagerly slipped her tongue into her floored friend’s mouth.

This time Dash felt herself transported to a steep jungle mountain coated with a sea of slick moss. The hot, misty air clung to her coat as she slid down the never-ending embankment. She dragged a hoof over the slippery stuff as it rocketed by. The wind whipped her mane into her face, but she couldn’t care less. It felt like flying, minus the effort of pumping her wings - the feeling was absolutely divine.

Then Applejack broke the kiss. Unconsciously Rainbow moved forward, her body desperate for more of the blissful sensation. However, she miscalculated, and before she could flare her wings to stop herself gravity took a firm hold of her and tossed her down onto the floor.

Breaking out into a fit of giggles, the farmer offered a hoof to her downed friend. “Ah knew you liked it! Now get up, before you cover yerself in hay.” Begrudgingly Dash accepted and pulled herself up to a standing position. “Now Dashie, Ah know this is all a bit sudden, but Ah'm not gonna try and beat around the bush or any of that nonsense. Ah want to be more than just friends.”

Her ego still bruised from the fall, the pegasus fell back onto her haunches, sagging defeatedly. This was turning into one big clusterbuck, and she and Applejack were caught square in the heart of the blast. I don’t want to hurt her, her mind whimpered. She’s my best friend, I can’t see her all sad.

Then reciprocate her feelings, some strange voice in her head rebutted. If you don’t want to see her sad, accept her offer and make her happy. It took a second for the larger words to click. Rainbow made a quick mental note to stop hanging out around Twilight so much.

But what ifI end up not being happy? I don’t want her to be sad, but what’s the point if she’s the only one getting anything out of it? At this point she hardly knew what she was thinking anymore. Her mind was having a shout-fest with itself, and it was giving her a headache. “Applejack,” she finally muttered as she rubbed her temples painfully, “I have no idea how to see you in a sappy, romantic way. We both know I’m no good at that stuff.

“I... I just don’t know if ‘us’ as a thing will even work out! I don’t want to make you sad, but I don’t want to end up leading you on and hurting you even worse if I end up backing out.” Moving closer to the farmer, she tapped her lightly on the leg. “You’re my best friend, Applejack. I would hate myself forever if you got depressed over something that I did. I couldn't forgive myself for that.”

All the while, Applejack slowly drooped like a dying plant. Knowing that she had put her friend into such emotional turmoil really bit at her. Nodding defeatedly, she mumbled, “It’s okay. Ah read ya loud and clear. It all seems crazy, and you’re not sure whether this is what’s best or not.” It’s now or never filly. Mustering up whatever courage was left inside of her she stood up. A sudden jolt of nervousness reared its ugly head as she slowly made her way towards her conflicted compatriot, waggling her hips back and forth like a hypnotic stopwatch that seemed to set Dash’s tail (among other things) on fire. “How about you let me try and convince you.”

Without hesitation Applejack moved in again and kissed Dash before the pegasus could leap out of the way. Rainbow’s mind only had a chance to mutter a curt Horseapples, before it exploded again into a burning fireball of magical ecstasy. As much as Dash hated not being in control, she did have to admit that it felt surprisingly similar to that tingle of magic that flowed through her whenever she pulled off a sonic rainboom - only this felt way better. A million pinpricks of pleasure spread out from her lips and rocketed down to the rest of her body.

All resistance ceased as the two melted, unconsciously wrapping their legs around each other. This, however, proved to be a bad plan as they both stumbled backwards, still tangled up in their own legs, and toppled into a nearby hay bale. Hitting the straw with a soft thud finally separated them from the kiss - physical intervention being the only thing that could have torn the two apart.

Rainbow Dash gasped softly as a bizarre, dizzy feeling washed over her, doubling her vision and flushing her cheeks red as cherries. “Crazy earth pony magic...” the addled pegasus mumbled as she tried to collect herself.

Applejack made sure that would be impossible, as she kicked out with her hind legs and flipped herself and her pegasus partner so she was on top. “Come on now, you like it.” The farmer drew the last words out for emphasis, coyly running a hoof up Dash’s side. “Jes let the magic do its thing, and you’ll see why once you go earth pony, you can never go back.”

If Dash had been in her right mind she would have fought to get out from Applejack’s embrace, but the heated hormones and her friend’s bizarre (but not entirely unlikeable) sex magic had shut her mind off, bringing her into a seduced, sex-craving state. All her inhibitions died in the flurry of pleasure and apple-flavored goodness. The rational side of her mind surrendered to the overwhelming magical shock that threatened to send her body into spasms. Unconsciously she let out a high, strung-out moan.

Ah knew it, thought Applejack warmly. She likes it. Wordlessly she dove in again, peppering Dash’s cyan fur with tiny kisses. The pegasus squirmed under her newfound lover, eyes glazed over in magic-induced lust as tiny flowers of ecstasy blossomed wherever Applejack chose to kiss her next.

Now, Applejack would be the first to admit that she wasn’t the best at the more sexual arts. The demanding life of a farm pony never gave her time to focus on more intimate endeavors. However, her natural instinct, bolstered by a buffer of magic, clearly drove Rainbow Dash crazy with desire.

And Applejack would gladly take the initiative. Slowly but surely she worked her way down Dash’s body, leaving a wet trail of kisses in her wake, until she noticed a very wet spot between the rainbow mare’s legs. The recipient, still too blissed out to comprehend anything but carnal pleasure, lifted her hips up eagerly and gave her a look that said, ‘please hurry up and eat me out already’.

The farmer obliged with a smile, diving in and giving Dash’s wet slit a tentative lick. While Applejack leaned back for a moment to savor the heavenly, musky taste that for the briefest of moments reminded her of fruit salad, the poor pegasus felt like a bomb had exploded in her loins, shaking her inner walls with the force of a world-shattering earthquake. She spasmed slightly and thrust her hips up further, desperate for more of the magic-strengthened, mind-numbing euphoria.

Hate to leave the poor girl hangin’. With a tiny shrug Applejack dove back in, this time pushing back Dash’s lips with renewed vigor and exposing her pink insides. Every last lick of the engorged slit before her brought another barely repressed scream from her partner. Wow, she’s really gettin’ into it. But Ah guess that’s as much the magic’s fault as mah own.

“M-more... m-m-more...” Dash’s addled mind could only barely string together a half-hearted beg in its current state. Instead of trying to speak again she simply put her trembling hooves on the back of Applejack’s head and pushed down, forcing the farmer’s muzzle into her sopping marehood.

“Woah there,” the earth pony mumbled. “Don’t get too crazy, now.” To satiate Rainbow’s reckless drive, she moved her tongue up to the firm nub at the the top of Dash’s slit, all the while making quick, spastic swirling motions with her hoof. “Maybe that’ll keep ya goin’ for a - woah nelly!”

She didn’t even have time to back out before Dash wrapped her hind legs around her head, letting out a deafening scream as she peaked. Shuddering violently, she ground her hips against Applejack’s face as she became awash in, among other things, pure animalistic ecstasy. Now even the primal side of the pegasus’s mind sputtered and died. All that was left was molar-rattling wails of pleasure and wave upon wave upon wave of crashing carnal bliss.

Dash stayed there - face scrunched in ecstasy, hips bucked up into her friend’s face - for nearly a full minute, her body and mind paralyzed by absolute euphoria. But the time finally came that her brain’s pleasure neurons overloaded and her body simply couldn’t take another second of stimulation. With a sputtering gasp and a heavy sigh her sky-blue body went limp and flopped to the floor. Taking a deep breath Applejack savored the smell of her slick slit one last time. Turning a glance to her dazed and confused friend’s face, she couldn’t help but giggle a bit at her rolled-up eyes and comically lolling tongue. Fastest filly in Equestria mah flank - that was way quicker than Ah woulda liked. Ah guess Ah can’t really blame her, though. First time with an earth pony is always the craziest.

Now released from her partner’s grasp she stood up groggily and looked at the puddle underneath where she had just lain a moment ago. That’s not gonna be easy to clean up. Looking in the direction of her downed partner, she added, Neither will that. “Aw well, that was well worth it.”

The farmer, not wanting to leave her sex-addled friend on the floor (she knew from experience that old hardwood can be very uncomfortable when working off a sex-induced sleepy spell), she bit down on Dash’s rainbow-colored tail and tried her best to gently drag her onto a nearby pile of hay. While her definition of ‘gentle’ may have left lesser ponies whining in pain, she managed to get the mare onto the closest pile of straw without complaint from either party.

Ignoring the fact that the lack of pained outcry most likely stemmed from the fact that Dash was still unconscious, she patted out a smooth nook in the pile and laid down in it, pulling the still-out pegasus next to her. “Golly RD, why do Ah always end up helpin’ you out like this?” Because you like her, you dummy! her mind retorted. Is it really that hard to see?

“Well... no,” she stammered. It vaguely occurred to her that she was in fact arguing with herself - maybe it was time to check into an asylum. “It’s just -” She let out a low growl. “Gosh, Ah think Ah'm goin’ crazy.” Crazy for that pegasus, maybe.

“Gee, is it that obvious?” she spat rhetorically. “Ah just wanted to tell Dash how Ah felt. Then Ah just had to spill the biggest secret known to earth pony kind.”

And then have sex with her. Don’t forget having sex with her.

“Yeah... Ah better make her Pinkie Promise never to tell anypony when she wakes up.” Casting another glance at the out-for-the-count mare, she sighed and planted her head in her hooves. “Boy did Ah mess this up big time. Ah try to tell RD that Ah like her, and Ah end up doin’ her and knockin’ her lights out.” She snorted. “Some first date this was.”

Date? You hardly had time to say hello before ya banged her brains out.

“Nyugh... whua?” Applejack’s ears perked with a start as Dash suddenly stirred. “Oh man, that was some wet dream.” The mare lazily sat up - still half-out of it - and clenched Applejack’s hoof warmly, snuggling up against it like it was an orange, furry teddy bear. “You were in it. And wow, were you ever the best.” Her eyes, still just opaque dots in a sea of white, seemed drawn to Applejack’s, and she bopped a sky-blue hoof lazily on the farmer’s nose. “Hee hee... you tasted like apples.”

“Uh - sugarcube? Ah'm pretty sure that actually happened.”

A pause. Then, “Really? Sweet...” Dash drew out the last word, love-drunk as ever. Suddenly, her eyes shot open, expanding almost comically. “Wait... so you and I actually...” Rolling onto her back for leverage, she clopped her hooves together and gave Applejack what could only be described as the mother of all ’oh ponyfeathers’ looks.

“Yup.” Oh boy, here it comes. She’s gonna hand mah flank to me.

Instead, Dash did something completely unexpected - unhinging her jaw from the ground, she nodded slowly and actually started laughing. Laughing, for Celestia’s sake! Applejack was sure that her friend had lost her marbles. “Geez Louise,” Rainbow stammered, “that sex must’ve taken a lot out of me if I forgot we even did it in the first place.”

“Heh - yeah.” She’s not angry? Wasn’t expectin’ that.

“I gotta say though, you were totally right about one thing. Earth pony sex is crazy!” She arched her back to emphasize her point, then fell back with a great rustling of hay beside Applejack. “Just imagine,” she continued, her face contorting into a coy smirk. “If doing you was that awesome, I can’t imagine how good it would would be with Big Mac.”

For bein’ mah best friend, she sure is quick to push mah buttons. “Woah, hold up there ya fancy-flier, no mare goes near Big Mac without me givin’ the big okay. Ah can’t have just any ol’ floozy flirtin’ with Mac now.”

“And why would that be?”

“Well, like ya said, sex with him would be pretty darn good.” Noting the blushing snicker on her partner’s face, she stammered, “Not that Ah'd know. Anywho, one roll in the hay with him and bam! They’d fall head over hooves fer him faster than a rattlesnake on a Tuesday.”

Ignoring the fact that whatever ancient slang that just sprang from Applejack’s mouth made less sense than a proverbial ’rattlesnake on a Tuesday,’ Dash replied, “But would that really be a bad thing? Mac should find a nice mare. Celestia knows it would be the first thing to distract him from all his farm work.”

“Actually, it would be bad. Ah want whoever falls for mah brother to love him for who he is, not what he’s got between his legs.”

“Ah...” The two trailed off into silence for a moment, each turning the conversation over in their respective heads. “So,” Dash pondered, breaking the tense silence, “it would be safe to say that earth ponies usually only bang the ponies that they really like? For that reason, I mean.”

Applejack nodded. “Yeah. There’s a word for it - Twilight told me about it awhile back. Ah think it’s... monago... monogomango... monogamous.” The last word sounded forced, like the farm pony had to push it through her teeth. “That’s jes’ fancy talk for sayin’ that we earth ponies don’t fool around.” The last sentence was broadcast with enough pride to make even the most humble of Applejack’s race straighten up and beam.

Unfortunately for Applejack, while earth ponies were loyal in nature, they also lacked any sense of foresight. “Aha!” Dash’s sudden squeal nearly toppled the poor farmer. “I knew it! That must mean you do like me!”

Now, Applejack had already come to terms with the fact that her heart was hopelessly entangled with the rainbow-maned mare. But strangely, hearing it out loud (and coming from the object of her affection’s mouth, no less) caused the blood to rush to her cheeks in rivers. “Well - uh - yeAh, Ah kinda do... Ah guess...” Wilting sheepishly under the pegasus’s laughter she slumped her shoulders and rolled in the opposite direction, her face away from the rainbow mare.

Dash cut off her hysterics as she noticed her friend’s curled-up form. “Aw, come on AJ. I was just messin’ with ya.” Flaring her sleek wings (and noting how sticky they still were from the previous... activities) Dash hopped up and over the prone pony, landing in a cloud of hay face to face with the farmer. “You know me.”

A muffled “Yuh,” could be heard from the orange ball of fur. A face poked its head out of the caramel-colored clump, sporting wistful green eyes. “Hey, Dash?”

“Yeah?”

Instead of talking, she simply wrapped her hooves around the pegasus in a soft, yet somehow still crushing embrace. Dash moved to squeal under the vice-like clamps cleverly disguised as hooves that clenched around her, but instead allowed herself to be half-crushed by the cowpony’s lung-squeezing hug.

“A-Ah gotta ask,” Applejack suddenly stiffened, loosening her legs and finally allowing Rainbow to breathe. While Rainbow caught her breath, the earth pony couldn’t seem to catch hers. It felt like her lungs had been super-glued shut, then shoved into a compression tank. Too late it finally dawned on her that formally proclaiming her feelings would be much, much harder than just having crazy sex with the object of those affections.

“Spit it out, AJ.”

The orange Apple swatted half heartedly at Dash. “Look, Dash... Ah made a big step here, tellin’ y’all about the... sexual side of earth pony magic.” A nasty image of Celestia throwing her in prison, then banishing that prison to the moon clouded her mind. The imaginary shouts of “Whorse,” spoken in her family’s voices, buzzed in her ears. “Ah know we’ve been friends for a long while, but this whole sex thing changes all that, whether we like it or not.”

Unknowingly she scooted close enough to Dash that she felt the pegasus’s steady breathing tickle her nose. “Ah've never been one fer’ beatin’ around the bush, so Ah'll just ask it. What does this,” she gestured at their nearly cuddling, inert forms, “make us?”

A small chunk of the weight that threatened to crush the cowpony’s lungs finally subsided. She breathed a tiny sigh of relief, only to have it forced out of her by an even bigger anvil of anxiety pancaking her organs. While her body reeled, her mind silently pleaded. Please don’t say ‘friends,’ please don’t say ‘friends,’ please don’t say ‘friends.’

A moment passed. Dash looked up and away thoughtfully, contemplating the sea of vast possibilities. She hated making decisions, and right now her mind seemed to split at the middle. Although the rift was purely metaphorical, it was giving her a very real headache. On one side, she found herself in front of a fire on some unknown winter night. Curled up beside her was one orange earth pony, a soft smile on her face and a cup of cider in her hoof. She cuddled up against Dash, her own internal warmth matching the burning heat of the flames in front of her. The moment seemed perfect.

On the other hand, she found herself standing in a courtroom. Cold, uncaring, the eyes of the judge bored into her head like a drill. At the opposite end of the room she saw Applejack, crying mournfully as she signed a document in front of her. Rainbow was too far away to read the document itself, but the bold lettering on the top of the parchment caught her eye, making her breath stick in her throat like molasses. The letters “D-I-V-O-R-C-E” were printed plainly on the top.

She shook the thought from her head. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts. She once again pictured her and the farmer together. No matter where she conjured herself and the farmer in her imaginative realm, she always found both of them living with a smile and a loving nuzzle. The single, paining thought of separation became swamped by all the blissful thoughts of ecstasy. The dreams carried no weight, but they single-hoofedly crushed the seeping negativity that always seemed to worm into Dash’s brain.

“Dash?” Applejack’s southern twang brought the pegasus out of her thoughts. “What does all this make us?”

A uncomfortably long pause. Then, “...I don’t know... this is really confusing and all...”

Oh no. Applejack’s stomach seemed to implode. She’s shootin’ me down. Ah just ruined the best friendship Ah ever had all over some stupid crush! Her eyes brimmed with tears.

“But... you’re really cool.”

Ah'm the stupidest little - wait, what?

“And since I’m already cool, we could both be cool... you know, together.”

“As... fillyfriends?”

“Now wait a minute!” Dash flared her wings, making the farmer flinch a bit. “That’s a big commitment you’re talking about. Let’s just... see where things go, okay?”

Well... Ah guess Ah can live with that. Certainly better than a ‘no’. Pausing a moment for dramatic effect, Applejack replied, “That sounds - that sounds lovely. But-” She cut off Dash’s inevitable reply with a raised hoof. “only on one condition.”

Now it was Dash’s turn to be nervous. What in Equestria could she want now? “Um, what would that be?”

She smiled coyly. “Come here and kiss me again.”

Any worry that wasn’t already dispelled from the speedster’s systems sprouted wings and flew off into the sunset, leaving nothing but a goofy grin in its place. “That sounds awesome. You know - I like the way you think.”

“Jes’ get over here and kiss me.”

“Yes ma’am!”

Edited by my Starfall, Starfall.