Cock Block

by An Intricate Disguise

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Main 6, Romance, Original Character, Porn, Comedy, Sex
Length: 8107

Jesse is a pretty simple guy until being teleported to Equestria, a world where the mares are short, sexy, and protective of stallions, and his cock's too big to fit in any of them. How will he overcome this travesty? (RGRE)

Jesse is your run of the mill gamer; part time job stacking shelves, a normal nineteen-year-old boy. He's fairly well-endowed, sure, but that's about the most unusual thing about him.

Until one day, he's bounced and ricocheted across dimensions into a world that resembles a popular children's TV show. Only, the creatures here don't act very PG-13. They're just like humans, except in fluffy, cute, small equine bodies, and a few mares in particular seem to have taken a lot of interest in him. Oh, that and the gender roles seem completely reversed—they all wanna protect small, fragile Jesse.

In other words, they're all over him, and it's driving his libido nuts! Only problem is, his cock's too big to fit in any of them. How will he solve this most evil of fates? Will he get the puss he so desires?

Probably!

Published 2018-12-10 21:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-14 08:17:46 UTC

Ice Pole Etiquette

Jesse didn't really have words to describe the situation transpiring before him. Three knee-high mares—maybe thigh-high if he was feeling generous—gawking at the bulge in his boxers and waiting for him to tear it out. He wasn't prepared for today. He didn't think he'd have been adequately prepared if he'd read a fucking book on what was going to happen today before experiencing it.

And yet here he was, about to pull out his cock and let three magical horse girls that wanted him as a part of their herd play with it. Could you make this stuff up? This was too outlandish to be fictitious, surely. Rainbow Dash seemed to be growing tired of his impatience, as she lunged forwards and grappled with his boxers, attempting to pull them down, but only got stuck when she found his hardness too strong to pull the boxers down over.

With a little help from Jesse's fingers, she managed, but the resulting spring of his cock only tapped her on the muzzle, sending her flying back into her friends where they laid in a downed bowling skittle arrangement of horny. And of course, they were all still staring.

Fluttershy was fucking salivating.

Apparently, notes were being taken, too. Twilight was scribbling at a pad with a quill, a floating pad and quill. Jesse needed a moment to steel himself. Imminent blowjob forgotten, he pointed a shaky hand up at the inanimate objects that had somehow decided they were going all Beauty and the Beast today. "H-how..."

"Oh, we have magic, of course!" Twilight answered as if that was something he should've just known. "Well, I do, because I'm an alicorn. But all unicorns can perform magic with their horns. Rainbow and Fluttershy can fly."

"I kinda guessed the last part," Jesse answered in his best 'no shit' tone. "But... what's an alicorn?"

"It means I have the wings and the horn, and I'm a princess!" Twilight proudly announced as her quill kept scratching, and then a moment later, she turned it around for Jesse to see.

They weren't notes. It was a sketch of Twilight riding his cock.

He was actually a little impressed.

"Now girls," Twilight said, looking to each of her friends. "Logistically, I'm estimating that we might have a little bit of trouble with Jesse's tumescence once he's fully erect, so what I'd propose is—"

"Oh, stop being so boring, Twilight," Fluttershy answered in the most bold (and frankly, hilarious) way that Jesse could've imagined from her. She moved forwards, sauntering over to him and giving the tip of his cock a tentative lick.

Jesse had always been under the impression that a horse's tongue was rough. Nopeee, that was anything but rough. That was the smoothest, wettest, most godly thing he'd ever felt in his life, and part of it only made him wonder just how more squidgy, slick, and perfect their little pussies were.

Another lick, and Jesse was twitching like crazy. Not just his cock, all fucking over. He could feel his toes curling from the contact to the point that they were digging into his shoes, and he had to clench his knuckles and stifle a loud gasp. Rainbow Dash seemed to be growing impatient, so she rushed over to get in on the action, moving her head down to the base of Jesse's cock and working on his balls, both of which were probably a third the size of her head. She licked at them, tongued them, and bathed them in spittle as all the while Fluttershy continued to work her way up and down Jesse's length in small, circular motions. He felt like a dessert to be enjoyed, and wasn't complaining one bit.

Twilight rolled her eyes at the impatience of her friends, but it wasn't long until she was joining in. There was plenty of space around Jesse's cock due to the sheer size of it coupled with how small these ponies were, so it wasn't hard for her to incorporate her hooves into the mix, wetting them with her tongue before beginning to slide them up and down Jesse's length, pulling back his foreskin completely and exposing the whole of his sensitive head.

Fluttershy seemed to take this as a cue to make the entire thing wet, and with a few repetitive, swirling tongue motions, she did her job. He could feel her lightly breathing on it, the tingles from the motion shooting up his spine, and so desperately wanted to push her head down onto it, but he could be patient. All the while, Rainbow was sucking on one of his balls, and Twilight was jerking him faster, quill still scratching in the background.

"M-more sketches?" Jesse moan-panted, his voice hitching almost involuntarily from the level of attention he was receiving.

"No, this time I'm actually taking notes," Twilight grinned. "This is valuable research material!" She slowed down her strokes then, being sure to take her time to admire each vein and contour of his cock with lip-biting interest, occasionally pushing her head forwards and giving the side of his shaft small, sweet kisses.

"Fuck, this is amazing..." Screw going home. He might change his mind later, but right now, screw going home ever. Rainbow switched to his other ball and repeated the same treatment she gave the last as Fluttershy began to smooch the tip of his cock, staring up at him the entire time and making delectable eye contact as she pushed out her tongue. "You've got such an incredible shape..." she purred, and Jesse could feel the vibration from her tone coursing along his helmet and only heightening the myriad sensations he was experiencing from the other two mares that seemed completely set on worshipping him.

Jesse figured he could return the compliment, somehow. "I... I don't think I've ever been with anyone that's as skilled with their tongue..." and it was true, this was entirely in a league of its own.

Twilight must've heard that and seen it as a challenge, because the first thing she did was rise up to Jesse's tip and begin to do battle with Fluttershy, their tongues sparring over his head in an attempt to be the most enjoyable, to make him squirm harder, whilst all the while Rainbow nurtured the other most sensitive part of his body, burying her muzzle in them. If anything, Jesse was more impressed with her devotion to playing with his balls than anything else, and fuck, did it feel good.

He watched the two friends, purple and yellow, push their tongues over his head as their tails interlocked and their wings brushed together, before eventually, they were getting so close that their tongues were actually slipping against one another's. They both moaned onto him, neither of them seeming to mind the direction their licks and kisses had gotten them, and he felt the brush of their fuzzy chins against his bobbing head as they began to softly kiss. Rainbow was beneath him, her tail hitched up in the air, her tiny, soaking pussy exposed, and Jesse felt it was about time he gave a little back.

Running his hand down Rainbow's barrel, feeling her coat and having to stop himself from sighing at its plushness, he continued to push his way down to her rump. He finally settled over her little hole, locating her clit and beginning to rub his thumb around it in a simple, ovular pattern. The smallest touches were enough to make Rainbow pant and moan, which only seemed to push her to work harder, to really get him off. All the while, Twilight and Fluttershy were getting lost in each other, and Jesse had diverted his full attention to Rainbow Dash.

And really, how could he not? She was the most bombastic of the three of them, and despite being so blunt, she said what was on her mind, and he admired that a lot. Also, she had a great body, and her mane was pretty cute. That, and those little noises she was making as he continued to stimulate her sensitive little nub? Those were to fucking die for.

With Fluttershy and Twilight distracted, Rainbow soon took over. Luckily, she was close enough that Jesse could continue to play with her pussy even when she slid her tongue up him once more, and it looked as if they'd been saving the best for last. While Fluttershy was skilled, Rainbow was an artist, it seemed, as she seemed to know every little technique to make Jesse shift and groan and have to force himself not to grab her by the mane.

"Dude... this is easily the biggest thing I've ever had," she said between breaths, between licks, between pants. "You should be so damn proud, and I feel so lucky..."

Jesse's pride was beginning to spiral out of control at this point. Back home, he'd been pretty fucking gifted in terms of endowment. But here? Here, he felt like a god of some kind. "You think you can take it in your mouth?" Jesse asked, all attempts at beating around the topic gone. He was so damn horny right now that he really didn't care for stalling.

This seemed to get both Twilight and Fluttershy's attentions, who stopped making out and instantly turned to see Rainbow hesitating. Jesse didn't know her very well, but from her friends' reactions, he guessed that wasn't an expression they were all too used to seeing on Rainbow's face.

"I mean, I can try..." Rainbow said as she stroked one hoof to the base and another to the tip, wide eyed, looking as if she was trying to gauge the size of the thing. "I mean, I don't know if I'll manage..." A couple more seconds passed, and she shook her head, steely determination in her eyes. "Alright, let's fucking do this." With that, She opened her mouth wide, began to push forwards, trying her hardest get her lips all the way around his head and push herself down...

No luck. She couldn't stretch her mouth over two thirds of the way around Jesse's incredible (and even more incredible to her) thickness, no matter how she tried or what angle she assaulted it from. Eventually, she gave up, pulling back with a pout and returning to the kisses and licks. "Ugh, sorry... I thought I'd be able to do it!"

Jesse was a tad disappointed, but he hardly blamed Rainbow, and the rest of the treatment more than made up for it. "It's fine, but I do really need to put my cock in something. Did you wanna try your pussy instead?"

"Hey!" Fluttershy shouted, who was beginning to seem more jealous and possessive by the minute. "That's not fair, I played with his cock for ages. I want first try."

"Wow, Fluttershy," Twilight interjected, staring at her friend with a mixture of shock and awe. "That's not like you whatsoever."

"Actually, she gets like this around stallions. Guess it's worse with humans," Rainbow said with a shrug, tail slapping against the floor. "Anyways, fuck yeah, I want you to try. I don't care if that thing leaves me out of action for a month, I need it inside of me."

And Jesse needed to put it inside of her just as badly. He could feel a heat in his cock that desperately needed to be doused, and as she bent over for him, tail to the side, top half of her body pushed down, Jesse got around to his knees, having to lift her ass up a little just so he could press his head against her tight, perfect little pussy. And Jesus fuck did it feel incredible just from the outside, heat radiating from it, the softest thing he'd ever come into contact with perfectly surrounded by sleek and wet fur on the outside.

The other two mares watched in unmistakable interest, in barely masked envy as Jesse summed up the conviction to do what came next, unsure how long he'd be able to last in a mare so small, with a body so nubile and delicious. When he'd finally gotten to the point that he was sure he couldn't wait any longer, he pushed. He pushed and he pushed like his life depended on it, putting every last iota of his will into ensuring he was able to slip his cock inside of her.

And... it wasn't working. Just like the blowjob, he tried, and he tried, but this mare was just too small and tight. Jesse could feel something crashing in his body, an absence in his soul. It was as if everything that made the world colourful and full of wonder was trying to leave him. How could he not fuck this cutie?! He wanted to more than anything, he had to do it.

One more try. He continued to hold up the panting, shivering Rainbow, one hand under her, the other grabbing her by the tail, and this time pulled back and thrust as hard as he possibly could. He thought he might have made a half inch of incredible, mind-shattering progress, but it was offset by a scream from Rainbow.

"Ahh! Stop! It isn't fitting!" she cried out, sounding almost pained from his attempts to squeeze it inside, to defy inertia. A sigh left both of them as he pulled out, which was a generous way to describe it, choosing instead to rub his head against her folds, up and down. "Oh... oh, fuck, that's soothing..."

It felt incredible, too, but it wasn't what he'd been looking for. Jesse could tell that he was already close, but the fact he'd been robbed of the opportunity to fuck Rainbow, it was playing on his mind heavily.

"Keep going," came the huff of Rainbow as he continued to tease her pussy, to torture his head with the knowledge of just the edge of what it would really feel like inside of her. Rainbow's wings flitted, her body tensed, hooves rooting themselves firmly on the floor, as before Jesse could anticipate it, she was squirting warm, clear juices all over his cock, covering him completely as she screamed out in ecstasy. Her orgasm was long and drawn out, and she continued to push back on him the whole time, making it clear that even though she was cumming, she wanted to be rutted just as badly as Jesse wished to give it to her, if not more so.

"Jesus, you were that close already?" Jesse snickered, though he knew he wasn't far off himself.

"Yeah... fuck, that felt good." Rainbow lifted herself a little higher with a beat of her wings, clamping her thighs around his thoroughly lubed up cock and bringing her hind hooves to the floor. "Your turn. It may not be my pussy, but fuck away."

Jesse wasn't exactly sure how it was going to compare, but oh, fuck, did her thighs feel good. She maintained perfect posture, being sure not to tighten too much nor lose her grip as Jesse pumped his cock in and out between them, feeling the tip push against her belly the entire time, imagining just how much he'd be filling her insides right now if he was actually able to squeeze his mammoth length inside of her.

It was a thought that brought him pain, but one that he could just as easily fantasise if he closed his eyes, if he listened to her breathing, if he imagined just vividly enough...

It wasn't long until he'd reached his apex, until he was shooting a huge measure of spunk over her belly, and thighs, all of it sticking and getting mottled in her fur, some dripping to the floor. It was easily one of the best orgasms he'd ever had in his life, no doubt, and the waves of pleasure rocking his body were ceaseless. It was as if even though he hadn't even been able to fuck her, the quasi-fuck he had experienced was still something beyond that which any human woman had ever been able to provide for him. His last spurt was just as strong as his first, he felt like he'd just let off a shotgun blast, only the fun kind that rarely hurt anyone.

Jesse finally fell back, completely spent, whilst Rainbow dropped to the floor, laying on her side and attempting to recover her breath. Fluttershy and Twilight rushed over as soon as they got a chance, licking at his cock and tasting whatever was left of his load as the post orgasm sensitivity of his cock caused him to gasp and almost recoil.

But once it was all over, and there was even a brief period of silence, Jesse realised that this wasn't enough. That it wasn't right. That something had to change.

He'd landed in heaven, there was no question there. But he'd been cursed. Cursed with a cock that he couldn't put inside this sexy pony, that was too big for practical use, and he needed a cure. Jesse walked over to Rainbow, picking her up and putting her in his arms, and spoke to her and her especially: "Listen to me. I don't care what it takes, I don't care how we do it, there's something that we need to do. Something that I think's paramount now, more than anything else."

"We need to find you a way to get home?" Twilight ventured, raising a hoof before taking a break to lap up a little more cum.

"No, more important than that." Jesse's eyes narrowed, and as he looked at Rainbow Dash and she looked back, he felt something between them. Something more than her being his simple ball nuzzler and thigh job giver. She was the mare he had to do this for. "I am going to find a way to fuck you, Rainbow."

It was as if he'd said the magical combination of words that won the grand prize of everything, as her eyes suddenly lit up like a beacon. "Y-you're, you're going to do what?"

"You heard me," Jesse insisted, unsure where the bravado was coming from, whether it was transient, whether it would survive after this moment, but knowing that this was his true calling, his new purpose in life that superseded all other things. "I'm going to find a way. I don't care what I have to do, where I have to go, or how long it takes. All I know is that my cock experienced the verge of the best feeling I've ever had, and I need more of it. I need more of you."

"I... think I might be in love with you," Rainbow replied, her eyes like saucers as she looked up at him. She then blinked. "...or your cock. But that's basically the same thing, I think."

Jesse shook his head. He wasn't ready to pronounce love yet, nowhere near, and he knew that Rainbow's words were probably just post-orgasm induced bliss mixed with sarcasm, but he shook it regardless. "All I care about now is fulfilling this goal, and I'm willing to start as soon as you are."

"Uhh, shouldn't you be more concerned about getting home than about sex?" Twilight asked, eyebrow raised. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm hardly complaining, I'm just a little surprised."

"This is my calling," Jesse responded, simple as he could. "My holy grail, I think. I can't really explain it, but I think everyone's put on this earth—or my one, to do something." He gave a rather spunk drunk grin. "What just happened proved something to me, and that's that I was put here to fuck Rainbow Dash. That's my goal, and I'm reaching it no matter what."

"Wh-what about me and Fluttershy?" Twilight asked, looking slightly hurt.

"Of course, afterwards, but Rainbow's gotta be the first one. I just know it, somehow. I can feel it in my balls." That was a lie. Jesse couldn't really feel anything in his balls due to the fact that they'd been recently emptied all over Rainbow's stomach.

Twilight looked a little sceptical about that last part, but she gave a sideways nod. "Well, if that's the case, the notes I took earlier might be useful to you. I worked out some of your proportions compared to that of mares, and from what I can tell, if you can't fit in Rainbow Dash, you won't be able to fit in any other mares her size. Y'know, like me," a pause. "Or Fluttershy." Another. "Or basically everypony we know with maybe one or two exceptions."

"And there's nothing you can do about it with your magic?" Jesse asked, looking to Twilight.

"I can alter living tissue, but not for a non-pony. Transformation magic only works when changing species, too." Twilight frowned, mulling the issue over in her head. "There might be other solutions I'm not thinking of right now, but from what I can come up with right now, I can't think of a spell that'd work properly." Twilight's eyes hit the floor. "I'm really sorry to say it, too, because Celestia knows I want to be fucked as well."

Jesse thought that over for a second. "You've said that name twice, now. What is Celestia? Is that like your god?"

"Kinda? She's the ruler of Equestria, and the most powerful alicorn there is."

"In other words, I should start there?"

"Yes—I mean no!" Twilight suddenly stood in front of Jesse, seeming like she was looking to block him from leaving, even though he hadn't even put his cock away yet. "It's too dangerous for a man like you to be walking off and trying to go all the way to Canterlot, never mind everything you were saying about travelling around Equestria on your own! You just can't do it!"

Jesse had to take a moment to compute that. "...why? Is the rest of Equestria really dangerous, or something?" Jesse hoped not. While he sounded all brave and knightly right now, he knew it was just the high of his recent experience, and it'd soon wear off.

"I mean, not really... but you're a man! Anything could happen to you that a mare would be much better suited to deal with!"

Jesse's head tilted. "So what you're saying is that men can't look after themselves?"

"Yes! That's why mares are here to protect them and make sure that they're well looked after!"

"In that case, wanna all come with me?"

Fluttershy jumped at the opportunity. Like, she literally jumped in the air. That's how excited she was. Rainbow nodded ecstatically, whilst Twilight only hesitated. "I mean... I'm a princess, I shouldn't really leave behind everything on such short notice."

"Twilight, what exactly do you actually do here?" Fluttershy asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"I do stuff!" Twilight defended as Jesse watched, shrinking in herself. "Y'know... answer fan mail. Practice for speeches. Reorganise my books and make sure the library's ready for anyone who wants to come in and lend out a book. Important princess things!"

"Right..." Rainbow said, coming over and joining Jesse's side. "Well, I don't know about you girls, but I'm going out with Jesse to help him out. Sounds like it's gonna pay off pretty well for me, after all."

"Anything to get a cock in you, Rainbow," Twilight tutted with a roll in her eyes.

"I know, right?! That's what I call living!" Rainbow flew over to Jesse, wrapping a wing around him and giving him a nudge. "Don't worry, dude. I'll make sure you're kept safe, and maybe we'll round up a few more on the way. All that matters is that we get that cock block of yours under wraps, so I can get under you."

This was a strange world. It was a strange world filled with strange creatures, and Jesse was pretty sure he was in love with it. He had a purpose. He had a goal. And he was going to do everything in his quite limited power to realise it.

For the puss.

Always.

This Isn't Narnia

Sort the items in the back of the warehouse... why doesn't she sort them herself? Officious little bitch.

Jesse had had enough of his boss treating him like shit. He'd been on a 'probation period' at his job for the last six months, because apparently that's the time frame of paranoia and non-existent job security they liked to put each new recruit through. Boss was an asshole—he called in sick one day in four months on account of a bug, and now she was sticking him with the most infuriating tasks possible if only to get him back for it.

Didn't help that she was only a year older than him. Real power hungry though, the type that'd do anything to remind you they made an extra dollar fifty an hour and had a slightly longer job title. Still, nothing he could do to offset his cruel fate, so he sucked it up and went along with it. He'd be looking for another job soon enough, though he doubted he had much of a chance finding one in the current market.

Back of the warehouse really wasn't used. Hadn't been in years, from what Jesse knew. It was where the company stored the shit that had been recalled, that wasn't being sold or put to any other use. In other words, it was the equivalent to the dusty old boxes one might find in their basement or attic, and filled with worthless crap that no one would ever ask after.

Of course, that didn't mean he got away with doing nothing. Boss would come and check, almost certainly, so Jesse had to appear busy. Clipboard out, he started taking stock, opening boxes and counting items, recording and sorting, boring work.

As he did so, his mind drifted, as anyone's might when slogging through menial labour for hours at a time. There was no one else back here, no shock, so he didn't worry about being caught in quiet contemplation and having his alone time ruined.

He fucking hated it here. This job was complete shit, and almost certainly not what he wanted to be doing with his life. A sigh as he continued to push boxes and tick boxes. Lots of boxes. His apartment was decent; serviceable, if a little spartan, but he felt rather alone in it. Few online friends he played games with, couple of local buddies from high school that he'd kept in touch with, but they were at best time fillers.

Jesse knew he could be doing something better with his life, he just didn't know what. Was difficult to make his mind up when he was too tired from work to think half the time, but he knew that anything would be better than this.

Jesse was working through the room rather quickly. Didn't know why, it probably wouldn't get him out of it any faster, but he could hope. At the back end was an extremely dusty, cobwebbed set of boxes. The oldest lot there, from the looks of things, and a lot of them had crumpled in on each other under their own weight.

This was going to be a fucking pain to sort out. Jesse took his time pulling the top ones off before trying to slide the small towers of cardboard away from the far wall's corner, but they were scarcely budging. Jeez, whatever was in there really was heavy. He redoubled his effort, just wanting the job over with, though the moment he finally managed to clear one of the large layers of cardboard away, he saw something behind them against the wall that made him quickly raise an eyebrow.

There were small, luminescent cracks against the wall. They were glowing like some kind of spiritual neon, sort of thing he'd imagine seeing in a fantasy game. They weren't carved into runes or patterns, nothing of the sort, just etched into the wall in a haphazard manner, almost resembling an opening.

That, and they seemed to radiate with some kind of heat. Jesse forgot about the boxes. He forgot about his shitty boss and his shitty job. He had something new to be curious about now.

Reaching forwards, he attempted to touch the wall, squeezing between the multiple containers that still blocked his path, and found himself having to lean against it in order to bring himself forwards. Well, not just lean against it...

But fall straight through it.

Ever fall horizontally and land vertically? Jesse hadn't, and it was needless to say that it threw him for a pretty serious spin. Sunlight stabbed at his eyes, something he'd almost forgotten after spending most of his time either working the evening shift or cooped up in his bedroom, and he had to take a couple of minutes to adjust to the brightness.

That, and work out where the hell he was. He'd just been at work, he knew that. He'd clearly fallen through the wall, it was the only logical explanation, but looking around him... there was only field. No way back, nothing glowing, it all looked completely normal. He couldn't explain it. Had he been teleported, or something? Teleportation wasn't a thing, surely. That was pure fiction, a technological dream.

But if that was the case, how was he here? He pinched himself, felt a sting. Probably wasn't dead or dreaming. World seemed more vibrant than usual, almost as if it had suddenly become more verdant and healthy, and pollution had stepped back a thousand years. A silly thought came into Jesse's head—could he be in the past?

He gave himself a small chuckle as he stood, but it was only an attempt to hide his nerves. This was all freaking the hell out of him. Jesse had no idea where he was or how he'd got there, and the closest speck of civilisation seemed to be miles away. He could barely see the buildings.

Pulled his phone out of his pocket. No signal. Tried waving it in the air some, but no luck whatsoever. Guess he was stuck with walking all the way to that strange looking village and trying his luck with a cell connection. Hopefully they weren't a bunch of rednecks, or people that didn't speak a word of English.

The walk was surprisingly pleasant. Everything looked nice, almost nicer than real life, if that made sense. His steps fell quietly on the grass, and the one time he saw a woodland animal, a squirrel, it almost looked smaller than it should've. Maybe it was a baby, or a retard squirrel.

He put the thought out of his head. Still, in an area as calm and peaceful as this, he imagined the local residents were probably quite nice. Wasn't a guarantee, of course, but it was the hope he was banking on as he continued making his way over to what were now beginning to look like buildings from hundreds of years ago, done up in a more modern aesthetic. Jesse thought as much because they were smaller than the average buildings, and people were shorter once upon a time. He couldn't be in America anymore, if that was the case. They didn't have any buildings that old, or people that short.

He tried again for signal, but still no luck. A couple of wild horses could be seen walking in the distance, though their coats had odd colours. Stranger still, they almost looked like micro horses, about a third the size of a real stallion. Babies again?

That, or something was seriously off about this place. He hadn't seen any people, and everything seemed too small. It was only when he paid attention that he realised the largest, tallest building in the town seemed to be some kind of glowing tree with big fuck off dangly bits.

Okay, seriously, was he in some kind of Elven fantasy? This was really damn strange.

Couldn't hurt to walk over and find out, Jesse supposed. He was seeing more horses as he walked, watching them walk about and chatter amongst themselves and wait.

Talking horses? Was he on fucking drugs?

Jesse's legs felt weak all of a sudden. He dropped to the ground, into a sitting postion, feeling increasingly dizzy as he attempted and failed to comprehend what the fuck was happening. He was in some place he'd never seen before, and he didn't know how he'd got there. The animals were talking. The fucking animals were talking. He tried to make sense of it, to make it all compute, but each word of rational thought that entered his mind sounded increasingly like the symptoms of an acid trip.

Jesse squeezed his eyes shut, screaming out. He hoped that when he woke up, this strange hallucination would be gone, but upon opening his eye, he just saw more confused horse faces looking at him. His heart began to slow, just a tad. They weren't attacking him. Nothing bad was happening to him. This was fucking freaky, sure, but he was still okay, in some sense of the word.

They didn't look anything like any horses he'd ever seen in his life. They were small, cute, fuzzy as a bear's ballsack. Like something you might see in a cartoon. Two approached him, both of which he didn't fail to notice had wings, and began to check him over, seeming to be moving in an attempt to comprehend something about him. "A-are you alright?" came the voice of a yellow coated one, who was currently running her feathers along Jesse's back in a calming, reassuring motion.

Jesse didn't really know what to say, whether there was anything he could say that would be the truth right now, but he tried to be brave in spite of it. "Yeah... yeah, I think so." Jesse gave the apparently female horse a nod, looking her over a little more closely as he had the chance.

"You hear that, Rainbow? He can speak!" the yellow one all but cheered, if you'd ever heard something cheer at below the decibel level dog toys operated at. Not only were these horses smaller than usual, they were oddly proportioned. More curves, longer lashes, strange marks on their back ends... it was pretty adorable, if not totally wacky.

"Yeah, Flutters, I can hear that," the one that was apparently called Rainbow (which made sense, considering her mane) responded, tone rather rough and tomboyish. She squinted at him, as if she was trying and failing to recall some vague memory. "You a stallion? You sound like a stallion, but you don't look anything like one."

"I..." Jesse bit his lip. How was he meant to answer that? He was pretty sure he understood what Rainbow was asking, but the answer was written across his face. What kind of horse would Jesse ever be? "I'm a man?" he ventured, hoping that'd help explain things, and her eyes only widened at the confirmation.

"Oh..." Rainbow's cheeks seemed to redden a bit. It was a nice contrast with her blue fur. "No wonder you're so scared right now. You must not have a clue what's going on." She turned to her friend, and Jesse tried to keep up with the craziness. "Fluttershy, we should take him to Twilight's." The yellow pony, Fluttershy, nodded vivaciously, and Rainbow turned back to Jesse. "Would you like that, dude? We can look after you, make sure you're all okay."

There was something in her tone that he couldn't quite catch, but he was sure it wasn't anything important. Was she elongating her words a little, drawing them out? Her eyes were trained on him, she almost looked predatory, but caring at the same time. "Uhh, I think so? I'm pretty scared right now, honestly. Scared and confused."

"Don't worry," Rainbow chuckled, running a hoof along his cheek. Christ, was she soft. "We'll take good care of you, we promise. Nopony wants to see a poor stallion having a hard time, especially one that isn't even a pony. Isn't that right, Flutters?"

Fluttershy nodded at once, seeming very passionate about the matter. "Oh, yes, though I don't think the word for him is still 'stallion', Rainbow. The principle definitely applies, though. We need to keep you safe and happy..." She batted her eyelids at Jesse, softly, slowly, and around her, with her sweet tone and calming voice, he felt that little bit more safe. The pony called Rainbow was different, though. She excited Jesse for some reason that he hadn't yet put his finger on, which might have been something to do with the fading panic attack muddling his thoughts.

"Okay... I guess I'm coming with you guys, then?"

"That's right!" Rainbow smirked, spreading her wings. "Don't worry, we know how to be chivalrous for our stallions." Without another word, Fluttershy did the same, and the two of them went about picking him up and spreading him across their backs and lifting into the air, gliding towards the large glowing tree in the distance.

Luckily, Jesse didn't have a fear of heights, but being ten feet off the ground and carried by two... magical horses?—that was a little bit perturbing. Still, they seemed well-natured, that and happy to help him, maybe a little too much so. Maybe if Jesse went to this Twilight person, or rather, pony, they'd be able to help him work out how to get home.

And if not? Well, at least they seemed friendly... that and cute as all hell. Plus, he'd not have to see his damned boss for a while. Jesse imagined he could handle staying here for a little while, should he have to. He only wondered if he should've found the plots of the two ponies that carried him to be the perfect pillows that he did as they continued to fly him to what they called 'safety'.

We're Not In Kansas Anymore

Jesse really hadn't known what to expect on the inside of the huge tree. Crystals hadn't been his first guess, but another horse, this one purple? He wasn't too shocked by that. If anything, he was too busy being shocked by the other ones.

"Oh my gosh, is that a human, in Equestria?!" the purple mare gasped, rushing over to help Rainbow and Fluttershy place him back down on his feet. Jesse dusted himself off, looking between the three of them and thanking God that one of them at least knew what he was. Rainbow had referred to him as a stallion two more times in the short trip here.

"He's a stallion, Twilight? Like the ones from the mirror portal?" Rainbow asked in shock, looking Jesse up and down. "Aha! I knew there was something familiar like you, you look just like the humans that Twilight described in the past!" Suddenly, Rainbow was flying loops above Jesse's head, causing him to flinch. "So, what's it like over there?! Are you from the human Canterlot? Do you know the human Rainbow Dash? Is she as awesome as I am?!"

"Rainbow!" Twilight interjected, waving a hoof and trying to get her friend to calm down. "Stop. He looks different. He doesn't look like the humans on the other side of the mirror portal. Same body type, sure, but the skin tone and proportions are completely dissimilar."

All this talk of humans and mirror portals was addling Jesse's mind more than he'd already thought possible, but he'd managed to cling on to one word through all of it. "I've never heard of a place called 'Canterlot'," he said to Rainbow, scratching his head.

"Well, that's that theory debunked, then," Twilight sighed, sitting on her haunches. It was about this time that Jesse realised she had both wings and a horn. What did that make her, precisely? "Canterlot's a pretty famous city from what I know, there's no way you wouldn't have heard of it if you were from there."

"Okay, so..." Jesse sat on the floor, cross-legged. It made it easier to speak to the three of them, being on roughly the same height level.

Fluttershy and Rainbow's eyes simultaneously widened. "Jeez, dude, how do you bend like that?"

"I..." Jesse wasn't really sure how to explain it, he'd never had to.

Twilight, thankfully, answered for him. "He's a bipedal creature. Walks on two legs. They have different joints to ponies, and their bodies move in different ways."

"That's hot," Rainbow blurted, and Fluttershy simply giggled.

Something about being paid a compliment when Jesse was feeling as out of sorts as he did made him smile. "Really? It is?"

"Yeah, dude, totally. You're all weird and different and stuff, but it's cute."

"Such a poet," Twilight tsk'd, only causing Fluttershy to laugh more. She in particular had simply been staring at him quietly since he'd sat down. Jesse wondered what was on her mind.

"This is amazing, though!" Twilight announced, her face splitting with a smile as she held out a hoof to shake. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, but please, just call me Twilight."

"Jesse Hardan," he responded, kinda awkwardly grabbing at Twilight's hoof and moving it up and down. She was just as soft as the other two, if not more so. They were all so small and cute, and Jesse was having a hard time believing any of them were legitimately real. It almost felt like a pleasant—if slightly terrifying—dream.

"I wouldn't mind seeing you harden," Rainbow commented, eyes lidded as she began to draw close to him, and the other two mares shared a chuckle at the overt sexual comment.

Jesse was rather taken aback by this, he wasn't used to sexual conversation being so casual. "Y-you meant what I thought you did by that, right?"

"I mean, yeah, why not? You're safe now, we've gotta make you comfortable too."

"Rainbow Dash is absolutely right," Fluttershy nodded, walking over to Jesse and sitting next to him, looking up with those big, round blue eyes of hers. "Can we get you anything to make you feel better while we try to catch up on what's happened here? Tea? A cider? A blowjob? A bottle of water?"

As Fluttershy rattled off the options, Jesse realised one happened to be very different to the others. "I-I'm sorry, did you just say 'blowjob'?"

"Yes!" Fluttershy nodded rather enthusiastically, her sleek mane bouncing around and fringe falling over one of her eyes. When she looked back up at Jesse, she appeared incredibly eager to please. "Why do you ask? Have you never been offered a blowjob before? You poor, poor man. That would be such a horrible thing to hear, I don't even know if I want you to tell me!" Her voice was so soft, even when she 'shouted'.

Jesse wasn't really sure how to take this very public and extremely rushed offer. "You... you mean right now?"

"Of course!" Fluttershy continued. "I wouldn't make you wait any longer than you wanted to, after all! I know how it can feel to go a long while without sexual release—once, I was too scared of what would happen to my body if I tried masturbation—and I wouldn't want another creature to go without. So, if you want, I can take care of you right now as we all get introduced. Would you like that?"

"I..." Jesse had to think seriously hard about this. He couldn't lie, his cock was twitching slightly at the idea, but that still didn't change the fact that he could feel the latent fear from earlier still lying beneath the surface, or that his primary concern right now was figuring out what the heck was going on. "...maybe later," he finally answered, seeing a face of disappointment in every mare present. "No offence, of course."

"None taken," Fluttershy replied, though she sounded a tad petulant. "I'll ask you again in a couple of minutes."

Okay, Jesse couldn't lie, the fact that she so wanted to suck his cock had him feeling pretty damn good about himself. It was almost enough for him to forget about all of the bullshit he'd endured in the last couple of hours. One thing was for sure, he didn't get anyone offering to do the same thing at work, or anywhere else, for that matter. Rainbow Dash was looking at him pretty hungrily too, though Twilight looked more curious than anything.

"Do you have any clue how you got here?" Twilight asked, biting her lip briefly, appearing to be deep in thought. "How long ago did you arrive, to your knowledge?"

"Only today," Jesse replied, a little more relaxed about the situation when he thought of it in retrospect. "I walked through a weird, glowing wall, and then I wound up here, a few miles from this town. I was really scared at first—I'm still pretty scared, but at least I'm not somewhere populated by murderers, or anything."

"Nope!" Rainbow smirked as she drew yet closer, sitting beside Fluttershy. "Just mares that really wanna see you out of those clothes."

"Rainbow!" Twilight accosted, her eyes stern. "Stop being so crass. Yes, I think Rainbow speaks for all of us when she says that we're interested in pleasing you, but that's just Equestrian culture." She looked at her two friends, signalling for them to slow down a little. "I don't know what it was like in your world, Jesse, but when I visited the other end of the mirror portal, people treated sex like a very private thing that had to be covered up. Nudity was considered unethical too."

Jesse nodded. "Yeah, that sounds pretty much exactly the same as where I'm from."

"Then that's probably why you're getting confused," Twilight started, squeezing between her two friends and looking up at him. "Here in Equestria, you have to understand that society is a little different. We believe in herd culture, which consists of multiple females taking care of and providing for one male. Sex is also a very casual activity, meaning that once you're of the legal age, you can engage in sexual acts whenever and wherever you feel like, provided there are no foals present. Rainbow, would you care to demonstrate with me?"

"Sure!" Rainbow responded, turning to her friend and then beginning to softly and passionately kiss her on the lips. Jesse watched in astonishment as the two small horses shared a lesbian kiss less than three feet away from him, Fluttershy also watching in quite apparent interest. The wet smack of their lips and gentle caress of their tongues against one another could be seen plainly, and when they separated with a playful snicker, a small string of saliva connected the two of them until Rainbow broke it, lapping it up. "See what we mean?" she winked, looking pretty proud of herself.

It was reasonable to say that Jesse became a stuttering mess at this point. After trying and failing for a solid ten seconds, he finally managed to come out with a fully coherent sentence. "So... to you guys, it's just normal to do stuff like this, and everyone's happy with it?"

"Wow. It really is an alien concept to you, isn't it?" Twilight looked a little astonished, though there was definitely lust in her eyes too, her having been spurred on from her short encounter with Rainbow. "Yes, it's totally normal. Not to say that it completely dominates our lives, or anything. We only have sex like, two or three times a day, typically."

Was there any chance that Jesse had missed regular heaven and somehow landed in the fluffy horse version? "Jesus Christ. I'm not sure if I want to go home." He knew he didn't mean that, but even still, this was something pretty special. Three of them, three, all crowded around him looking like they couldn't wait to swallow him up. How was he supposed to do anything but cave? "So... about that blowjob."

"What about it?"

Jesse didn't answer with words. He simply tugged down his jeans, before letting his semi-erect cock do the talking for him.

"Holy," Fluttershy started.

"Fucking," Rainbow added.

"Celestia," Twilight finished, the three of them now staring at the bulge still hidden by his briefs, which easily looked about the size of one of their legs, perhaps a little thicker too.

And that was only a semi. Jesse wasn't exactly the egotistical sort, but he kinda felt like the king right now.

"Well, girls," Twilight gulped, looking as nervous as she did excited to be confronted with such a beast. "Shall we start?"