Impossible Numbers' Flashfic Anthology, Volume Threeby Impossible NumbersChaptersAftercareThe Technicalities of a Child's ExcusesThey Go Together Like Bees and HoneyEight-Genre Pile-UpsDeep DinkingThe Great and Powerful: Then and NowDerpy's Bucket ListAftercareFluttershy was dead. Again. Rainbow Dash too, though only by invitation. While Fluttershy strode forwards, Rainbow followed warily, regretting her prior curiosity. Besides, she’d expected… well, something heavenly. Like Cloudsdale. It’s just forest. She gulped. Oh, it’s not all like this, said Fluttershy. I’ve seen other parts. Anyway, it’s really more the spirit of all forests. Forests have spirits!? Fluttershy said nothing. The ethereal trees spoke for themselves. How did you get us here anyway!? Rainbow’s voice cracked. Practice. Then Fluttershy hunkered down near a burrow. Mr and Mrs Squeakers? Wait. Didn’t those two mice die yester–? Oh… All animals are under my care. ALL animals. What!? I thought you were just being sappy! What bothers a dead mouse!? Fluttershy fiddled with Mr Squeakers’ ghostly leg. Phantom pain. Poor, poor things… Eventually, Rainbow relaxed. Dead forests and spirit mice were beyond her, but Fluttershy being Fluttershy? Well, THAT she understood. The Technicalities of a Child's ExcusesApple Bloom gulped. “Nopony did it! It could’ve fallen out accidentally!” Applejack snorted. “Right. The cookie jar jumped out the cupboard. From the back. Behind stuff. And smashed on the floor over there.” She turned to Sweetie Belle. “You?” “No… I mean, I thought about taking cookies, but I never got there in time.” Anyone that stupidly honest had to be innocent. “But… I… watched it happen.” Applejack pouted. “So, seen who done it?” Outside, Winona barked. Sweetie Belle’s eyes darted nervously to Scootaloo. “Not me!” said Scootaloo. “I just took the apple tarts. And the fritters. But not the cookies!” “So who took them!?” insisted Applejack. Winona rushed indoors, her coat trailing crumbs. All three hung their heads. “We trained Winona to fetch them,” mumbled Apple Bloom. Applejack sighed. “'Plausible deniability', huh? Tried sneaking around your conscience? Never works. Least you’re lucky: Granny never caught you trying that trick…” They Go Together Like Bees and Honey“THIS TIME!” Rainbow zoomed away, towards the hive. Hearing hoofsteps, Fluttershy turned. “Cattail?” “What’s the hullaballoo, chérie?” They watched Rainbow encircling the swarm. “Incroyable! Ain’t seen nobody try takin’ flash bee honey without masks.” Blushing, Fluttershy gripped the first-aid kit. “Sorry. I should’ve recommended the masks harder, but I didn’t wanna insist.” Another flash. Another yelp. “She’ll get herself stung and coma-tized! Din’t you tell her it’s no good musclin’ a hive that resists magic?” “I tried. Rainbow thought pegasus magic might work.” “Did she?” “Once. Now she thinks–” “I WON’T LOSE TO A BUNCH OF ZAPPY BUGS!” yelled Rainbow, feinting swiftly. Angry buzzing rivalled her yelps. Cattail goggled. “Ain’t you gonna help her?” “Now!? Rainbow would never forgive me. I’ll wait till she’s finished. See, we understand each other–” “Be honest about her chances! Tell her it’s hopeless!” Another yelp: Fluttershy winced. “Oh, I don’t wanna wait that long.” Eight-Genre Pile-Ups“Dubstep Cello,” repeated Octavia. “Unorthodox, but superior to that barbaric Pony Pokey.” “Wha!?” Lyra spluttered. “Genre-mixing?” “It worked, O unimaginative non-visionary.” “Ha! What next? Propagand-Operas with Starlight’s town?” “I’ve done propag-anthems in Ponyville! ‘Classic Winter Rap-Ups.’” “Never heard of it.” “Lyra! I’ll inspire you yet. Imagine… CMC: Cello-Mark-Crusaders!” They imagined it. “No,” they agreed. “Alternatively, Flim-Flam-Octavia’s-Easy-Peasy-Super-Squeezy-Classics-Wheeze…y?” Lyra snorted. “You wanna keep your copyright? Ah! Cadence’s Magico-Mysteria Changeling-Aria! That’d be awesome.” “Plus Equestria’s entire Apple clan performing country, barn-raising style.” “DJ Discord!” Lyra gulped a glass of water. “Cheese-and-Cello Sandwich.” “Hearth’s-Warming-Spirit-Soul-Music: Past, Present, Future! Wait… nah, Snowfall Frost’s old-hat…” “‘Olivia!’ songs, instead?” “Plus Coloratura’S-apphire ShoreS-ongbird Serenade, plus Ponytone-Pinkamena’s Wonderbolt-rapping Blues…” Lyra grinned. “Right on! This mixing-genres gig’s the most awesome-tastic idea ever!” “See?” “Cooool! When we doing it!?” “When you fund it.” “Eee… Oh. S-Sorry. Try again.” “Foiled! Alas. Our minds, but not our purses, have been filled with untapped riches…” Deep Dinking“Is it family?” said Dinky. “Family is nepotism,” said Amethyst, who knew knee-jerk cynicism went clean over Dinky’s innocent head. “Friendship?” “Cronyism. No, I meant–” Dinky examined dinner suspiciously. “It’s not something stupid like ‘hot sauce’, is it?” Stupid. Uh oh. “Er…” said Amethyst. “You said, ‘Don’t forget the most important thing!’ just now–?” Amethyst’s mind splashed wildly to meet suddenly deepening expectations. Hastily, she changed the “stupid” answer in her head. Dinky always expected something worldly-wise from Big Sis. Maybe some old line, like “say please and thank you”? A masterstroke of inspiration: “It’s… what friendship aspires to be. Sharing fun… Sticking together come rain or shine… Feeling secure together…” “Like us?” “…yyyyyeah!” “You mean love?” “Precisely!” A pause. “You just wanted me to get the hot sauce, didn’t–?” “Yes,” said Amethyst, defeated. Dinky giggled. “Okie-dokie. But I love your new answer better.” Amethyst stuffed her reddening face. Sisters. The Great and Powerful: Then and NowMidnight. Zecora awoke: outside, a shovel scraped against dirt. Carefully, she exited her hut. A voice? “…I’ll show them! Criticizing Trixie’s conjurations, insulting Trixie’s sleight-of-hoof, Trixie was performing for charity…” Digging a pit, a shadow levitated a box, opened– Zecora’s lantern lit up. “Returning to your older tricks? It seems your lesson failed to stick.” Trixie froze. Rising out: the alicorn amulet. Blushing, Trixie disconnected the amulet’s gemstone. “Back off! This part contains the curse!” Zecora tensed. “If you pursue this reckless course, I’ll be obliged to use great force–” Whereupon, Trixie dropped said gemstone back into the box. “Oh, fine! I was going to sell the ‘de-cursed’ amulet secretly, thus raising charity money I failed to make. Sure, rub it in!” Sighing, Zecora smiled. “Your pride may slink in shadows, true, But really: ask before you do. Though meaning well, good works and pride So rarely ought to coincide.” Derpy's Bucket List“All done!” Yawning, Amethyst surveyed her office-slash-living-room-slash-place-to-wonder-what-the-hayseed-had-gone-wrong-with-her-life. For Derpy, she ticked the last item on “Derpy’s Buck-It List!!!!!” She frowned. “Rodeo… Languages… Time travel?” “Aheh. Well, one thing led to another, then poof! Twenty-six adventures before breakfast.” Amethyst glowered… then relaxed. Derpy, lying? Never. She’d seen Derpy do some of these. The French-learning had consisted of Derpy’s “bonny-jo-urr, silver plate” school of multilingualism, but she’d tried. “Now what? I must’ve done everything in the world.” Amethyst boiled with resentment. Either hard work organizing or a hard time watching Twilight do it instead. She'd hardly ever left Ponyville. “How should I know?” she muttered. Derpy leaked misery. With instant shame, Amethyst cooled down. After all, Derpy still trusted… valued… her list-making skills. “Don’t suppose…” Amethyst mumbled guiltily “…you’d teach me some French?” And Derpy cheered up like a Hearth’s Warming present. Now that was worth an afternoon of “Jer swee Der-pay”.
AftercareFluttershy was dead. Again. Rainbow Dash too, though only by invitation. While Fluttershy strode forwards, Rainbow followed warily, regretting her prior curiosity. Besides, she’d expected… well, something heavenly. Like Cloudsdale. It’s just forest. She gulped. Oh, it’s not all like this, said Fluttershy. I’ve seen other parts. Anyway, it’s really more the spirit of all forests. Forests have spirits!? Fluttershy said nothing. The ethereal trees spoke for themselves. How did you get us here anyway!? Rainbow’s voice cracked. Practice. Then Fluttershy hunkered down near a burrow. Mr and Mrs Squeakers? Wait. Didn’t those two mice die yester–? Oh… All animals are under my care. ALL animals. What!? I thought you were just being sappy! What bothers a dead mouse!? Fluttershy fiddled with Mr Squeakers’ ghostly leg. Phantom pain. Poor, poor things… Eventually, Rainbow relaxed. Dead forests and spirit mice were beyond her, but Fluttershy being Fluttershy? Well, THAT she understood.
The Technicalities of a Child's ExcusesApple Bloom gulped. “Nopony did it! It could’ve fallen out accidentally!” Applejack snorted. “Right. The cookie jar jumped out the cupboard. From the back. Behind stuff. And smashed on the floor over there.” She turned to Sweetie Belle. “You?” “No… I mean, I thought about taking cookies, but I never got there in time.” Anyone that stupidly honest had to be innocent. “But… I… watched it happen.” Applejack pouted. “So, seen who done it?” Outside, Winona barked. Sweetie Belle’s eyes darted nervously to Scootaloo. “Not me!” said Scootaloo. “I just took the apple tarts. And the fritters. But not the cookies!” “So who took them!?” insisted Applejack. Winona rushed indoors, her coat trailing crumbs. All three hung their heads. “We trained Winona to fetch them,” mumbled Apple Bloom. Applejack sighed. “'Plausible deniability', huh? Tried sneaking around your conscience? Never works. Least you’re lucky: Granny never caught you trying that trick…”
They Go Together Like Bees and Honey“THIS TIME!” Rainbow zoomed away, towards the hive. Hearing hoofsteps, Fluttershy turned. “Cattail?” “What’s the hullaballoo, chérie?” They watched Rainbow encircling the swarm. “Incroyable! Ain’t seen nobody try takin’ flash bee honey without masks.” Blushing, Fluttershy gripped the first-aid kit. “Sorry. I should’ve recommended the masks harder, but I didn’t wanna insist.” Another flash. Another yelp. “She’ll get herself stung and coma-tized! Din’t you tell her it’s no good musclin’ a hive that resists magic?” “I tried. Rainbow thought pegasus magic might work.” “Did she?” “Once. Now she thinks–” “I WON’T LOSE TO A BUNCH OF ZAPPY BUGS!” yelled Rainbow, feinting swiftly. Angry buzzing rivalled her yelps. Cattail goggled. “Ain’t you gonna help her?” “Now!? Rainbow would never forgive me. I’ll wait till she’s finished. See, we understand each other–” “Be honest about her chances! Tell her it’s hopeless!” Another yelp: Fluttershy winced. “Oh, I don’t wanna wait that long.”
Eight-Genre Pile-Ups“Dubstep Cello,” repeated Octavia. “Unorthodox, but superior to that barbaric Pony Pokey.” “Wha!?” Lyra spluttered. “Genre-mixing?” “It worked, O unimaginative non-visionary.” “Ha! What next? Propagand-Operas with Starlight’s town?” “I’ve done propag-anthems in Ponyville! ‘Classic Winter Rap-Ups.’” “Never heard of it.” “Lyra! I’ll inspire you yet. Imagine… CMC: Cello-Mark-Crusaders!” They imagined it. “No,” they agreed. “Alternatively, Flim-Flam-Octavia’s-Easy-Peasy-Super-Squeezy-Classics-Wheeze…y?” Lyra snorted. “You wanna keep your copyright? Ah! Cadence’s Magico-Mysteria Changeling-Aria! That’d be awesome.” “Plus Equestria’s entire Apple clan performing country, barn-raising style.” “DJ Discord!” Lyra gulped a glass of water. “Cheese-and-Cello Sandwich.” “Hearth’s-Warming-Spirit-Soul-Music: Past, Present, Future! Wait… nah, Snowfall Frost’s old-hat…” “‘Olivia!’ songs, instead?” “Plus Coloratura’S-apphire ShoreS-ongbird Serenade, plus Ponytone-Pinkamena’s Wonderbolt-rapping Blues…” Lyra grinned. “Right on! This mixing-genres gig’s the most awesome-tastic idea ever!” “See?” “Cooool! When we doing it!?” “When you fund it.” “Eee… Oh. S-Sorry. Try again.” “Foiled! Alas. Our minds, but not our purses, have been filled with untapped riches…”
Deep Dinking“Is it family?” said Dinky. “Family is nepotism,” said Amethyst, who knew knee-jerk cynicism went clean over Dinky’s innocent head. “Friendship?” “Cronyism. No, I meant–” Dinky examined dinner suspiciously. “It’s not something stupid like ‘hot sauce’, is it?” Stupid. Uh oh. “Er…” said Amethyst. “You said, ‘Don’t forget the most important thing!’ just now–?” Amethyst’s mind splashed wildly to meet suddenly deepening expectations. Hastily, she changed the “stupid” answer in her head. Dinky always expected something worldly-wise from Big Sis. Maybe some old line, like “say please and thank you”? A masterstroke of inspiration: “It’s… what friendship aspires to be. Sharing fun… Sticking together come rain or shine… Feeling secure together…” “Like us?” “…yyyyyeah!” “You mean love?” “Precisely!” A pause. “You just wanted me to get the hot sauce, didn’t–?” “Yes,” said Amethyst, defeated. Dinky giggled. “Okie-dokie. But I love your new answer better.” Amethyst stuffed her reddening face. Sisters.
The Great and Powerful: Then and NowMidnight. Zecora awoke: outside, a shovel scraped against dirt. Carefully, she exited her hut. A voice? “…I’ll show them! Criticizing Trixie’s conjurations, insulting Trixie’s sleight-of-hoof, Trixie was performing for charity…” Digging a pit, a shadow levitated a box, opened– Zecora’s lantern lit up. “Returning to your older tricks? It seems your lesson failed to stick.” Trixie froze. Rising out: the alicorn amulet. Blushing, Trixie disconnected the amulet’s gemstone. “Back off! This part contains the curse!” Zecora tensed. “If you pursue this reckless course, I’ll be obliged to use great force–” Whereupon, Trixie dropped said gemstone back into the box. “Oh, fine! I was going to sell the ‘de-cursed’ amulet secretly, thus raising charity money I failed to make. Sure, rub it in!” Sighing, Zecora smiled. “Your pride may slink in shadows, true, But really: ask before you do. Though meaning well, good works and pride So rarely ought to coincide.”
Derpy's Bucket List“All done!” Yawning, Amethyst surveyed her office-slash-living-room-slash-place-to-wonder-what-the-hayseed-had-gone-wrong-with-her-life. For Derpy, she ticked the last item on “Derpy’s Buck-It List!!!!!” She frowned. “Rodeo… Languages… Time travel?” “Aheh. Well, one thing led to another, then poof! Twenty-six adventures before breakfast.” Amethyst glowered… then relaxed. Derpy, lying? Never. She’d seen Derpy do some of these. The French-learning had consisted of Derpy’s “bonny-jo-urr, silver plate” school of multilingualism, but she’d tried. “Now what? I must’ve done everything in the world.” Amethyst boiled with resentment. Either hard work organizing or a hard time watching Twilight do it instead. She'd hardly ever left Ponyville. “How should I know?” she muttered. Derpy leaked misery. With instant shame, Amethyst cooled down. After all, Derpy still trusted… valued… her list-making skills. “Don’t suppose…” Amethyst mumbled guiltily “…you’d teach me some French?” And Derpy cheered up like a Hearth’s Warming present. Now that was worth an afternoon of “Jer swee Der-pay”.
