Rainbow Dash and the Monster Horse Cock

by MythrilMoth

Rating: mature
Tags: Equestria Girls, Sex, Main 7 (EqG), Porn, Fetish, Comedy
Length: 5518

Rainbow Dash grows a massive horse cock. It isn't nearly as awesome as you'd think.

At the beginning of her final semester of high school, Rainbow Dash suddenly, inexplicably, grows a monstrously huge horse cock. Neither science nor magic can explain it. It rapidly takes over her entire life.

Some people want to study it. Some people want to play with it. Rainbow Dash just wants it to go away--preferably without any horrifying pain.

A deconstruction of futa tropes.

Published 2019-01-23 10:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-02-10 21:43:42 UTC

Trouser Snake

Author's Note

Don't ask, it's too stupid to explain what brought this on. All characters are 18+.

Trouser Snake

On a cold winter day, the first day of the final semester of Rainbow Dash's senior year of high school, the most popular and most awesome athlete, guitarist, and pep leader at Canterlot High School staggered and stumbled blearily down the stairs of her family's two-story suburban home, rubbing sleep crust from her eyes, her hair in complete disarray. "Ugh," she mumbled. "I'm so tired I can't even walk straight."

"You're just holidayed out, dear," her mother Windy Whistle called from the kitchen, light laughter and good cheer in her voice. "You'll be right as rain after a good breakfast and a shower and ready to wow your friends with every little thing you do!"

"That's right, hon!" Rainbow's father, Bow, said jovially, not looking up from his morning paper. "Our Dashie's the best at waking up hung over without even drinking alcohol, and the best at putting herself together and facing the day with—"

He was interrupted by a tremendous CRASH as Rainbow Dash fell down the last four steps and faceplanted on the hallway landing. Bow immediately threw his paper aside and shot to his feet, racing over to the kitchen door to check on his daughter. "Rainbow Dash!" he yelled. "Are you okaOH MY GOD IS THAT A PYTHON?!" He drew back, face pale and sweat beading. "SNAKE! ANACONDA! BOA CONSTRICTOR! BIG BIG TROPICAL SNAKE EATING OUR DAUGHTER! GET THE POLICE, ANIMAL CONTROL, THE NATIONAL GUARD!"

"Bow? What is iAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

Rainbow Dash was tangled up in something long, thick, and serpentine. It was dark blue and had a shiny-slimy look about it, and was coiled tightly around her left leg. She tried to sit up, put a hand on it, frowned, squinted at it, and joined her parents in completely freaking the fuck out. "GET IT OFF ME, GET IT OFF ME!" she screamed as she scrabbled against the faux parquet flooring of the landing, dragging the massive blue beast with her as she struggled to stand. She managed to make it to her knees; the serpent writhed on the floor from where it protruded from the bottom of her oversized T-shirt. "IT'S EATING ME IT'S EATING Mwait."

Rainbow stopped screaming and planted her knees wide and firm on the floor, then grabbed the hem of her shirt and stripped it off. Her parents stared in fascination, astonishment, and horror. Their screams trailed off into confused, stunned silence.

"That...that's not a snake," Bow said. "That's...well...definitely not a snake." He scratched his stubbled chin. "I mean it's kind of a snake, but...huh."

"Rai-Rainbow Dash?" Windy asked shakily. "Am...am I going crazy, or do you have a penis?"

Rainbow wrapped both hands around the massive blue length that had somehow grown out of her body overnight and stretched it out in front of her. It landed on the floor with a pronounced thump. It was thicker than her thighs and about as long. It had a flat disc for a head and a knobbly ring around it part of the way back. It glistened in the overhead lights.

She reached underneath it and felt around. "Yeah there's a nutsack," she said in a flat, dull tone. "I've got really big nuts here."

Rainbow's dick convulsed and shot a thick jet of cum across the living room. Windy fainted dead away.

Bow scratched his head. "Uhh...just gonna go ahead and call you in sick today," he said. "Huh..."

* * * * *

After breakfast (which Rainbow had to stay on the living room floor for), her parents helped her back upstairs to her room. The going had been rough, as Rainbow's new dick kept tripping everyone up until finally, fed up with it, Rainbow gathered it up in her hands and carried it upstairs. As soon as she was flat on her back in bed, Windy brought a bowl of hot water and two bars of soap and a bottle of hand sanitizer and furiously cleaned Rainbow's hands.

Bow had called in sick for work and Windy had canceled her appointments for the day. It was now close to noon, and Rainbow still lay on her back in bed, her new appendage trailing between her legs, dribbling spurts of precum all over her Wonderbolts bedsheets.

"How did this happen?" Bow wondered for the tenth time as he paced back and forth outside Rainbow's bedroom. "The last I checked, eighteen year old girls don't just randomly grow impossibly huge wangs!"

"Well...she does occasionally grow wings and pony ears," Windy said; she was in the bedroom with Rainbow Dash, keeping a discrete distance.

"Yeah, but they always go away after like a few minutes!" Rainbow Dash cried. "This has been going on for hours now!"

"Should we...should we call a doctor?" Windy wondered. "I mean, you know what they say on television about erections lasting more than four hours..."

"Yeah, I don't think this is quite the same thing, Mom." Rainbow sighed, her face beet red. "Much as it sucks, only thing I can think to do is call Sunset Shimmer. If anybody can figure this out, she can."

"You're sure it's magic and not some kind of weird, I dunno, mutation or disease?" Bow wondered.

"All things considered and the fact that it's a horse dick and not a human dick? I'm gonna bet it's related to Equestria somehow," Rainbow said. With a sigh, she grabbed her phone from her bedside table and went through her contacts. "Hey, Sunset? Listen, I've got kind of a...well, problem. It might be Equestrian magic, we're not sure. I'd...really rather not explain it over the phone, it's really embarrassing. Can you come over after school and, umm...take a look?" A pause. "Thanks, I owe you one." Rainbow ended the call and put her phone aside, then closed her eyes and sighed again.

"Are...are you in pain, honey?" Windy asked. "Can I get you anything?"

"Just a glass of water and maybe some aspirin," Rainbow said, struggling to sit up without agitating her monster horse cock. "Think I'm gonna watch some TV until school's out."

"Okay, hon. Just...let us know if you need anything, okay? And...and try not to mess around with it too much..."

Rainbow snorted. "I'm way too freaked out by this thing to go messin' with it."

* * * * *

By the time Sunset Shimmer arrived, there were dozens of crusty, congealed cum stains all over the walls and ceiling. Rainbow Dash held her dick in both hands, swinging it back and forth like a Tommy gun, making "pewpewpew!" noises as she fired off jets of cum at the ceiling.

The doorbell rang, and Windy called from downstairs, "Rainbow Dash, your friends are here!"

Rainbow looked around at the ridiculous mess she'd made of her room, and her eyes shrank to pinpricks. "Oh crap," she muttered. She looked at her hands, which were sticky and gross, and grabbed the bowl of now-tepid water and soap her mom had left, furiously washing her hands as her dick flopped down between her legs and twitched idly.

There was a knock at the door, and Sunset Shimmer opened it, taking a half step in. "Hey, Rainbow Dash, you oka—" She froze, her nose wrinkling in disgust. "Ugh, it stinks in here! What—"

The door exploded the rest of the way open, and Pinkie Pie pushed her way into the room past Sunset. "Hey Dashie! We missed you at school today! Don't worry, we're all here to cheer you up and make you a hundred percent better and HOLY CHALUPA IS THAT A GIANT HORSE COCK?!"

Sunset Shimmer looked all around the room slowly, her eyes contracting to pinpricks, her mouth dropping open in absolute disbelief. "Oh. My. God."

Rainbow chuckled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head with one hand—and coming away with a wad of stray cum. "Eheheh...I got bored waitin'?"

Rarity took one delicate step into the room. Her nose twitched. The stench assailed her delicate senses. She turned green. She promptly turned on her heel and ran to the second floor bathroom, where the sounds of violent retching filled the house mere seconds later.

Fluttershy walked into the room. She stopped short as she took in Rainbow Dash's bedicked body, then slowly turned to take in the full scene. Her hands flew to her face. "Oh. My. Goodness," she murmured. "Rainbow Dash, just...why?" she moaned, shaking her head.

Applejack walked in, took one look around, and pushed her hat down over her eyes. "Nope," she said. She turned and walked right back out.

Twilight Sparkle was the last to enter. She took one look at Rainbow Dash. Her left eyebrow raised. "Fascinating," she said.

"That's...certainly one word for it," Sunset said. "SO! Rainbow Dash! You...grew a dick!"

"And balls!" Pinkie Pie said, crouching down to examine Rainbow Dash's groin intently. "Huuuuuuuuge balls!" She grabbed Rainbow's nuts and juggled them this way and that, examining them from all sides.

"GAH! Pinkie! Cut that out!" Rainbow cried.

"Hey look, she still has a pussy!" Pinkie reported. She unceremoniously thrust two fingers into Rainbow's slit, eliciting a strangled gasp. "How's that feel, Dashie? Everything working okay there?"

"GAH! Don't...AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Rainbow cried.

"PINKIE! Knock it off!" Sunset said sharply. "This is...this is seriou—" She paused, looking around the room again, surveying all the wank stains, and Rainbow with a huge blue dick that was slowly starting to rise to attention in response to Pinkie Pie's invasive investigation. A snicker escaped her lips. She clutched her stomach. She doubled over. "This i—is s-s-s-seri—ous...

"*snort...

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sunset Shimmer laughed long and loud for five straight minutes. Pinkie Pie giggled, watching her with a bright grin while she nibbled on candy corn she'd produced from her hair. Twilight shifted uncomfortably over by the dresser, which had the least amount of wank stains splatooned across its surface. Fluttershy stood in the doorway, frequently peering over Sunset's shoulder and through her hair at Rainbow Dash, a brilliant flush lighting up her face.

Rainbow watched Sunset with crossed arms and a stony glare. "You done yet?" she asked sourly.

"S-sorry, it's just...this is...s-so f-f-f-f-funny!"

A thick jet of cum splattered across Sunset's face, much of it getting into her open mouth. She abruptly stopped laughing and spluttered. "GAH!"

"Still funny?" Rainbow asked archly.

"No, not...not especially," Sunset said sourly, grabbing a towel and scrubbing her face. "Actually, that was pretty nasty and please don't ever do that again."

"Right," Rainbow said. "So, how about you start working on how to get rid of this stupid thing?"

Sunset sighed. "I...guess we'd better, umm..." Her face turned green. "Investigate."

"Oh goodness," Fluttershy said. "Umm...what k-kind of investigation are we talking here?"

"Honestly? I have no idea," Sunset said. "I'm way open to suggestions." She sighed. "Maybe I'd better write to Princess Twilight before we start, umm...probing this thing."

"Ha ha."

"I've got some medical instruments in my bag," Twilight said. "I'll be right back."

Sunset blinked. "You carry medical instruments around with you?"

"You don't know everything about me!"

As Twilight headed downstairs, Rarity cautiously crept back in, mouth covered with a burgundy silk scarf, and looked around in distaste. "So...this is what it's come to now," she said. "Magic horse genitalia."

"Yep," Sunset said drolly, popping the P perfunctorily.

"Lovely," Rarity said acidly.

Rainbow suddenly let out a panicked noise. "Uh, girls? I...I gotta pee." She looked around wildly. "And I don't know which one it's gonna come out of," she added.

The girls looked at each other in alarm and bolted for the stairs.

Cum Out And Neigh

Windy Whistles stared in stunned horror at the second floor bathroom.

"Sorry Mom," Rainbow Dash said weakly as she trudged past her, headed back to her bedroom. "Thing's like a friggin' firehose..."

Windy whimpered at all the piss dripping off literally everything, collecting in stinky golden puddles on the floor, lavatory, and in the bathtub.

* * * * *

Sunset Shimmer wore an umbrella hat and a rain poncho as she sat on several thick towels spread out on Rainbow's desk chair, observing the proceedings with bemusement. Twilight Sparkle had donned safety goggles and latex gloves, and a black medical bag sat on the bed next to her; she'd perched herself on the end of Rainbow's bed, her legs tucked up primly underneath her. Her skirt was covered in jizz, but she seemed determined to studiously ignore that.

Pinkie Pie was the only girl present who didn't seem to care if she got splattered, dick-slapped (which had already happened to Twilight twice), or otherwise "made no-no" with Rainbow's dick, as Fluttershy so eloquently put it; Pinkie was presenty rocking back and forth on her heels as she watched Twilight examine Rainbow's monster horse cock. Fluttershy was outside the bedroom door, watching the entire thing from a relatively safe distance and through gaps in her fingers.

After a lengthy process during which Twilight measured the member, took Rainbow's blood pressure several times, took the dick's blood pressure, and listened to Rainbow with a stethoscope everywhere, Twilight sat back with a sigh and threw up her hands. Rainbow's dick flopped over backwards, landing directly between her bare blue breasts, the tip tucked just under her chin. A spurt of cum blorted out, coating Rainbow's face.

"It's definitely magical," Twilight pronounced. "If it wasn't, Rainbow Dash would've died hours ago."

"DIED?!" Rainbow yelped, eyes wide.

"I don't know where your horse dick's blood supply is coming from, but it seems to be functioning independently of your own body. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be enough blood flow to your brain for you to, y'know, live."

"Gaaaaaah."

"Is it some kind of parasite?" Sunset asked.

"No, it's part of Rainbow's body," Twilight said. "I'm just not sure how it's a part of her body."

"So...how do we cure my little girl?" Windy asked from the door. "Is...is there a cure?"

Twilight sighed. "For now, it's best not to do anything until we hear back from Sunset's friends in Equestria. Honestly? Anything we do without completely understanding how this even happened is probably going to make things worse."

"Oh dear..."

"In the meantime, we need to perform some more in-depth examinations," Twilight said, a slightly nervous hitch to her voice. "And...it'd be best to explain to Principal Celestia that Rainbow will be out of school for a while, unless we can find some way to contain this thing to where she can function normally."

"What, you mean like getting Rarity to make me some kind of cock bra?" Rainbow asked. This drew muted giggles from Fluttershy, loud giggles from Pinkie Pie, and an eyeroll from Sunset.

"What do you mean by 'in-depth examinations'?" Sunset asked.

Twilight grimaced, her cheeks heating up. "W-well," she began, her voice hitching, "Rainbow's new appendage seems to be producing impossible amounts of ejaculate, almost at will—"

"Totally at will," Rainbow said with something of a sly grin. Her grin faded. "Actually, totally at random, too. Basically, if it bumps into anything it spurts."

"Yes," Twilight said, idly wiping a stray strand of Rainbow's cum off her safety goggles. "And thanks to Pinkie Pie's earlier, ahem, probe, we more or less know Rainbow's original reproductive system is still intact and functioning, much like any natural-born hermaphrodite."

"Okay, so...?" Sunset prompted.

Twilight's face flushed. "Well, given the nature of the, ah...affliction..." She coughed to clear her throat. "Purely in the interest of collecting as much data as possible for a thorough scientific study of the phenomenon, I would like to observe its behavior during..." She licked her lips. "Stimulation."

Fluttershy squeaked.

Sunset stared at Twilight flatly. "What."

Rainbow blinked. "Uhh. Whaddya mean?"

"She means bom-chikka-BOW-WOW!" Pinkie said with a loud giggle.

"WHAT?!" Rainbow cried, shooting straight up in bed. Her dick swung down fast and hard, smashing into Twilight's face and knocking her off the foot of the bed with a loud *CRASH!* Rainbow blinked as her dick landed on the footboard. "Oh jeez! Twilight, are you okay?!"

"'m good," Twilight said dazedly as she got to her knees, swaying slightly, her glasses askew. She stood up, straightened herself out, cleared her throat, and continued, "As I was saying, I'd like to record data on the behavior of this phenomenon during direct stimulation." She paused, then added, "Also, its behavior during vaginal stimulation...hmm..." She began pacing. "Observing varying degrees of stimulation intensity would produce a broader variety of results to interpolate—"

"Uhh...anybody wanna translate?" Rainbow asked warily.

"She wants to watch you fuck somebody with that thing," Sunset said.

"And to see what it does when somebody fucks you in your poony-poon!" Pinkie added with a happy giggle.

Rainbow's irises shrank to pinpricks, her cheeks flushing brilliantly. "Gahuh?"

"Um, excuse me," Windy said. "I...don't quite see how that helps figure out what's...what's going on here..."

"It's observational science!" Twilight cried defensively. "If we want to understand the great mystery, we must study all its aspects! We must embrace a larger view!" She adjusted her glasses, which gleamed in the reflected sunlight from the window. "Only through science will we be able to save your daughter from her magic monster horse cock."

Everyone gave her a half-lidded stare.

"Yeah you just wanna watch a dickgirl getting banged," Pinkie said in an uncharacteristically matter-of-fact tone.

"FOR SCIENCE!" Twilight cried desperately. "Besides, magic is crazy weird! Maybe if she uses the thing for what it's made for, it'll go away on its own!"

The others looked to Sunset questioningly. She blinked. "Well...it's not a totally insane theory," she said. She frowned. "Except there's just one problem. Where the heck are we gonna find a girl crazy enough to even TRY to ride that massive pony pole?!"

"Don't look at me," Pinkie said. "But I do know who we can get for the other part of all that..."

"Soarin?" Rainbow Dash asked, a faint hopeful note in her voice.

"Flash Sentry?" Twilight asked.

"Bulk Biceps?" Fluttershy suggested.

"Big Macintosh?" Sunset supplied.

"Nope!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "Zephyr Breeze!"

A tumbleweed rolled through the dry silence.

"Oh HELL NO!" Rainbow thundered, her dick flopping around in rage.

"Well he has been trying to get into your pants forever," Sunset said with a wry smirk.

"Yeah and there's a reason he hasn't even come close!" Rainbow replied.

"Hmm," Fluttershy hummed thoughtfully. "Actually, I'm liking this idea."

Rainbow stared at her in betrayal. "WHAT?!"

Fluttershy shrugged. "Futa really grosses him out," she said. A small, evil smirk graced her pretty yellow face. "It'd be worth it just to see his reaction to this. Also, if he does still go for it despite the giant horse penis, just think about my creepy brother getting completely splattered in horse cum..."

Everyone in the room stared in mute horror at Fluttershy. "I'm scared now," Sunset said quietly. "How did I ever get away with bullying you? You're pure evil."

Fluttershy ducked her head shyly and looked away, a coy smile on her face as she played with her hair.

"Okay, so we'll get Zephyr Breeze over here to conduct the first part of the experiment—"

"HEY! I didn't agree to that!" Rainbow interrupted.

"—and then we'll figure out how to deal with the second part," Twilight continued over her. "It...might take a while to find a girl who's brave enough and limber enough to even try to take that...thing." She shuddered. "I mean, I don't mind doing manual stimulation of it myself, but I'd rather not tear every muscle in my lower torso to shreds trying to ride that."

"Yeah, hard pass on that," Sunset said, wincing.

"Yeah, same here," Pinkie said. "I'm not that crazy."

"We need somebody who's used to taking really big men inside them for that," Fluttershy agreed. "Like...maybe Ditzy Doo? I mean, have you seen her boyfriend?"

"Or Principal Celestia," Rainbow suggested. "I've heard...stories."

"This has to be the weirdest conversation of all time," Windy said, shaking her head. "I mean, I can't believe I'm actually a part of...whatever's going on here..."

Rainbow chuckled. "Never a dull moment around here, Mom," she said. She sighed. "Alright, fine, I'll let Zephyr rail me so you can get whatever sciencey stuff you need, then...we'll worry about the other stuff."

"I'll go call my brother," Fluttershy said, stepping out of the room. A minute after she left, Rainbow suddenly started and shot Twilight an odd look.

"Wait...did you just offer to give me a handjob?!"

Twilight made an 'enh' gesture with her hand and giggled sheepishly.

The horse cock twitched.

The Zephyr Project

Author's Note

Just as a reminder, everyone in this story is 18+. :raritywink:

The Zephyr Project

Principal Celestia sat staring at her phone, blinking in stunned silence, for several moments after Bow Hothoof hung up.

Vice-Principal Luna, who sat in her favorite easy chair reading the paper and drinking coffee, looked over to her sister. "I take it Rainbow Dash is going to be out of school for a while?"

"Apparently," Celestia said. "It seems she's somehow grown a giant magical horse wiener."

Luna raised an eyebrow. "A horse wiener? Now that's dangerous!"

"He sent pics," Celestia said numbly, tossing her phone casually over to Luna. Luna set down her paper just in time to catch the phone, juggling it briefly before taking a look.

Luna spat coffee everywhere. "THAT IS A COCK!" she bellowed.

"I believe I mentioned that," Celestia said.

"You said wiener. That is a freaking enormous COCK."

"Yes. Yes it is." Celestia stood slowly. "I'm going to get some rum. Do you want some rum?"

"Make mine tequila," Luna said, swallowing the rest of her coffee and setting Celestia's phone aside.

* * * * *

Zephyr Breeze cut a sneeze above the knees as he eased through the lees of Rainbow Dash's home. Fluttershy wrinkled her nose; the breeze smelled of cheese and it made her wheeze. "Follow me upstairs, please," she said curtly.

"You know it, sis!" Zephyr said cheerfully. "So what's the haps? I'm diggin' on a visit to Rainbows, heard she was under the weather. Does she need a little Breeze blown her way to brighten her day?"

"Something like that," Fluttershy said with a smirk. "We called you over here to have sex with Rainbow Dash."

Zephyr Breeze halted in his tracks. "Say what?"

"You're gonna go in there and screw Rainbow Dash."

Zephyr blinked. "Uhh...sis? Are you okay?"

"Hey, you've been trying to get between her legs since fifth grade," Fluttershy pointed out. "Don't tell me you're gonna puss out now when she's giving it to you."

Zephyr shook his head. "Sorry, I'm just...really confused."

"Well get unconfused, because we're keeping everybody waiting." Fluttershy turned and marched for the bedroom.

"Everybody?" Zephyr echoed numbly.

Fluttershy knocked twice, then opened the door, ushering her brother in. Zephyr's eyes took in the multitude of faces in the room, then landed on the naked form of Rainbow Dash, lying flat on her back in bed, her knees up and spread open as Twilight Sparkle shone a flashlight on her flushed, pouting, clean-shaven sex. A sleazy, 'this-is-too-good-to-be-true' grin started to slowly make its way across his face...

...and then he saw The Cock.

Zephyr Breeze's smug face dropped to the floor and shattered with a loud, porcelain-like *CRASH*.

"What...the..."

"Hey Zeph," Rainbow said in a dull, bored tone. "Like my dick?"

Zephyr struggled to find words. His jaw worked soundlessly. Finally, he chuckled and made a 'pshaw' gesture. "Hahah, okay, good gag, guys. Wow, you really went all out to pull one over on the ol' Breeze." He shook his head. "I mean, like, really all out. What is...what's..." He trailed off, sagging. "What's the gag here? I don't get it."

Twilight stood up and adjusted her glasses. "Alright, I've gotten all the baseline data I need," she said. "Give me a sec to set up the recording, then we can start the experiment."

"Oh hell no you are NOT recording this!" Rainbow cried.

"I have to," Twilight said. "It's part of the experiment. I need a visual record of the experiment so that I can collect any data I miss during the, ahem, direct observation."

"Wait, wait, hold up," Zephyr said. "What's going on here? Somebody clue me in, I am so lost."

"How's that any different from normal?" Rainbow snarked.

Sunset Shimmer cleared her throat. "Rainbow Dash grew a magical giant horse cock overnight," she said simply. "We're waiting for expert help to help us figure out how to get rid of it, but in the meantime Twilight wants to do all kinds of tests and experiments."

"One of which is observing the effects of normal vaginal intercourse on the anomaly," Twilight said.

"They want you to fuck her and see what the horse cock does," Fluttershy translated.

Zephyr laughed shakily. "Okay okay hold up," he said, chuckling and holding up a hand. "This is for real? That...thing...is more freaky horse magic, like the wings and pony ears thing?"

"Yeah, only a lot...stranger," Sunset said.

"And embarrassing," Rainbow added. "I can't even walk around the house without this thing getting tangled up in my legs and it just keeps jizzing all over the place."

"Yeah I'm out," Zephyr said. "Futa grosses me out enough when it's just drawings. This is too freaky for me. Later Rainbows."

"Wait!" Twilight cried. "We need you! Somebody needs to engage Rainbow Dash in intercourse so I can observe!"

"So one of y'all do it!" Zephyr retorted. "They make strap-ons for this kind of thing!"

"For best results, I need a genuine stimulus reaction! A live, fully biological male specimen!" Twilight countered.

"And you're the only dude we can think of who's that hard up for poon!" Pinkie Pie added cheerfully.

The room went deathly quiet, the temperature dropping several degrees.

"...damn, that's cold," Zephyr said frostily, giving Pinkie Pie a hurt glare.

"Look, Zeph," Rainbow said, wedging herself up slightly in bed, "think about it for a minute. This is literally the only time you will ever be in a room with me naked. This is definitely the only time I'll ever even think about letting you touch me, let alone fuck me. In fact, I can personally guarantee that every day of your life from now on, if I lay eyes on you, I will punch you in the face on general principle. So if you know what's good for you, you'll man up, bring your dick over here, and do the thing."

Another silence descended, accompanied by tons of blinking.

"Wow, that was...the most bizarre and oddly moving motivational speech ever," Sunset said in an impressed tone.

Zephyr sighed. "I can't," he said. "I mean, I took one look at that thing and Li'l Breezy curled up and died." He shrugged. "I am the opposite of turned on right now. I don't think I could get it up if this whole room full of hot girls got naked and started going at each other." He gestured down at his pants. "See? Even thinking about that didn't give me a speedbump!"

"Oh for goodness' sake," Fluttershy said, facepalming. "Just...ugh." She walked over to Zephyr and crouched down in front of him, jerking at the drawstring of his pants. "You all owe me for this," she said as she yanked her brother's pants and underwear down around his ankles.

"Fluttershy?! What are you—" Rainbow cried in alarm.

Fluttershy's pink tongue lashed out and slurped up Zephyr's dangling doodle, pulling it into her mouth.

Twilight's jaw dropped. "What in the world?!"

"Oooh, plot twist!" Pinkie said, grinning from ear to ear.

Both hands planted firmly on her brother's hips, Fluttershy emitted a litany of soft sucking, slurping sounds and quiet grunts as her buttery soft lips went to work on Zephyr's dick, which ever so slowly began to rise to mast, the seafoam-green shaft looking firmer and more girthy each time Fluttershy rocked back on her heels.

Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose. "Well, this is it," she muttered. "We've officially reached rock bottom."

"I can't believe I'm seeing this," Windy said. "I can't believe I'm not stopping this!"

"I think the cum stench in here is getting to all of us," Twilight said. "It's the only logical explanation."

Fluttershy's sucking grew more frantic, and Zephyr let out a loud hiss of pleasure.

"That or we're all a bunch of perverts," Pinkie Pie said.

Zephyr's rock hard mast popped out of Fluttershy's mouth with a wet sound, a trail of saliva connecting them. "Okay you're ready, now go!" Fluttershy instructed, backing away from her brother and standing up. She turned him in Rainbow's direction and smacked him sharply on the ass, sending him staggering forward. Zephyr caught hold of the footrest of the bed, over which Rainbow's hot, flushed sex was dangling. He grabbed onto her legs, pushed them high up in the air, and buried himself in her pussy.

Fluttershy ran out of the room for a minute. When she returned, she had a roll of mints and a bottle of orange juice. "God that was nasty," she grumbled as she gargled with juice before popping mints in her mouth and crunching on them.

"And yet you showed absolutely no hesitation in doing it!" Sunset exclaimed.

"Well somebody had to!" Fluttershy cried.

"Ugh...Rainbow, get your—ngh—dick outta my face," Zephyr grunted as he slapped his balls against Rainbow's snatch. "It's...ngh!! Oh god!—super killing the mood here!"

Rainbow rolled her eyes, but grabbed onto her dick with both hands and pulled it toward her. It swung all the way down willingly, landing between her breasts, the tip just below her chin.

"Oh man, you could—ngh—titfuck yourself with that thing, couldn't you?" Zephyr said as he pounded Rainbow as hard as his reedy hipster frame would allow.

Precum was already drooling out of Rainbow's horse cock as it bounced and waggled with each buck of her hips. "Huh, I guess I could," Rainbow said. She took hold of her tits and pressed them to either side of the horse cock, squeezing it firmly and rubbing its massive shaft with her modest boobage as it waggled, bounced, and thrust.

"Oh...my," Fluttershy said, face beet red.

"Wooo! GO, DASHIE, GO!" Pinkie cheered, tossing handfuls of popcorn and red hots into the air.

"You know, I always hoped I'd be there for Rainbow's first time, but this is not what I had in mind," Windy commented. "I always thought it'd be under the bleachers, maybe one of her teammates doing her from behind—"

"OH MY GOD MOM WILL YOU JUST STOP?!" Even as she said this, her horse cock exploded, spraying cum into her open mouth. She gagged, spluttered, and coughed as more of it got into her mouth, hair, and eyes.

"Ungh! Agh! Oh—oh fuck—I'm about to come!" Zephyr grunted.

Rainbow Dash panicked. "PULL OUT! DON'T COME INSIDE!"

"NO!" Twilight yelled raggedly, her eyes too bright behind her glasses, her face flushed. "COME INSIDE HER! GIVE HER EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT! BUST THAT NUT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BUSTED IT BEFORE! FOR SCIENCE!"

"Twilight, what—" Sunset began, eyes wide and alarmed.

"SCIENCE!!" Twilight bellowed again, breathing heavily. "Raw, naked SCIEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE!!" She dropped back into her seat, breathing heavily, her face flushed and her eyes glassy.

Zephyr blew his load inside Rainbow, then staggered back, his dick twitching as he wobbled dazedly. Rainbow's cock SPRANG upright, spraying jets of cum all over the room. Pinkie, Fluttershy, Twilight, Sunset, Windy, and Zephyr all got splattered; as Zephyr was physically the closest, he took a massive SPLAT right to the face, a thick wad of it going right into his mouth. He cried out in alarm and disgust, then started coughing and spluttering. He dropped to all fours on the floor, retching violently, covering a pile of Rainbow's dirty underwear with cum and vomit.

"UGH that's fucking nasty why do guys make girls swallow that shit?!" Zephyr wheezed.

"I'm gonna have nightmares about this for years," Fluttershy grumbled, idly wiping some of Rainbow's jizz off her face.

Twilight stood up, her knees shaking and her glasses fogging up. "I have so much data to analyze," she said. She cleared her throat. "Um, Mrs. Whistles? Is there somewhere I can have some privacy for a little while? To, umm...review?"

Windy nodded mutely. "The guest room, it's the third door on the right."

"Thank you," Twilight said. She grabbed Zephyr by the elbow. "Come on, Zephyr," she said. "I need to run a few extra tests...controls, baselines, variables, it's all sciencey stuff."

"Uhh, okay," Zephyr said slowly, blinking. "This, uhh...ain't gonna have needles is it? Cuz I'm not a fan of needles."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," Twilight said feverishly. "You won't be the one getting penetrated..."

Rainbow, Windy, Pinkie, Sunset, and Fluttershy stared after them.

"Uhh...she's not gonna..." Rainbow began. "...is she?"

Sunset facepalmed. "I don't know, I don't wanna know, not my problem."

Fluttershy examined her half-empty bottle of orange juice. "Mrs. Whistles, do you have any vodka...?"