Author's Note
Before you all read this, it's important that you listen. Although, this was yet another request from Jack The Reader for his birthday and I am honored to have a lot of help on this chapter, I won't be writing any further chapters or stories until I've gotten rid of my sleep apnea.
I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I will return one day. And when I do, I will come back healthier and stronger than ever, so thank you all for understanding what I plan on doing. As always, I hope that all of you will keep on bronying on and hold your heads up high.
Birthday Water Wars
Equestria, the magical land where many mythical creatures, not found on Earth, actually exist and roam free in many different parts of this mystical land. A place that has been untouched by humans... until a little over a year ago when you mysteriously arrived. You ended up there after getting your melon smashed in a car accident by this half-assed shitty driver who was drunk off his ass. Somehow, instead of crossing over and going to heaven, you ended up getting a 2nd chance at life when you ended up Equestria.
You had only seen Equestria through your favorite TV show, which was coming to an end. But somehow your accident had brought you here. So, you took a look around to see which town or city you were in. But when you weren't paying attention to what was right in front of you, you felt yourself about to fall. Suddenly, an orange and yellow blur flew at you at very high speeds and saved you in the knick of time.
When this pegasus put you down, she gave you a scolding on watching where you were going. You instantly recognize who this pegasus was who saved you. From the fiery orange and yellow mane on her hand to her glistening golden yellow fur and beautiful orange eyes, you recognized her as Spitfire. But, just to make sure she doesn't think you're a creep or stalker, you told her you were sorry and that you were new in Equestria and that you had nowhere in this place left to go. Then something hit you: how come she didn't freak out when the moment she saw you weren't a pony?
Before you could ask her that, she reluctantly allowed you to stay with her at her house. So she flew you off to her house, which actually looked more like a mansion than a house. The place was HUGE! Guess being the leader of the Wonderbolts has its perks.
While you were taking refuge in her "house," she went to talk to Rainbow Dash and asked her to bring her friends over to help her out with her situation. Within a week, that was when you got to meet the Mane 6 and Starlight Glimmer as they had a little Q and A with you. You explained to them about what world you came from, what it was like and how different it was from Equestria... followed by your death. You explained on how you were looking for a job but kept getting turned down. And after the third time of being turned down, you decided to walk off your frustrations only to get run over by a driver who was drunk off of his ass and he smashed into you, which ended your life there. The girls all had different reactions to how you were killed in your world. And boy, was it quite the sight you've seen.
Twilight felt sympathy towards you and concern for whether or not you suffered brain damage. Rarity reacted with a gasp and then fainted... rather dramatically. Pinkie Pie's poofy pink mane made a deflating noise and became flat while she was looking at you with her big, baby blue eyes. Fluttershy gasped with tears in her eyes from hearing your tragic end. AJ placed her hat over her chest, feeling sorry for you. Rainbow Dash was upset and wanted to beat the living shit outta the driver.
Starlight's reaction was a huge gasp, followed by tear-filled eyes and then a surprise hug. Then, Spitfire explained how she found you and took you into her home. Twilight was fascinated by the fact that a human has finally come to Equestria for the first time in over hundreds of millenia. She and Starlight soon explained how millions of humans existed in their world a long time ago and how they went extinct. For Twilight, seeing you in the flesh was like looking at a piece of revived history, ready to repeat itself. Though, you weren't exactly sure if you were going to repeat history in Equestria, not unless humans and anthros can cross-breed.
On the bright side, at least they welcomed you with open arms. And over the course of time, you also got to meet many other new friends across and beyond Equestria. Pinkie even threw a party for each place you visited for the first time, including the time you first met her and the girls.
And now, today is your birthday and you made sure to tell the girls a month beforehand. This way, it'll give them enough time to prepare. You didn't expect much from them because you knew they'd impress you either way, especially Pinkie Pie. You were very grateful to have friends like these by your side no matter what. You never had this many friends back in that rundown place you called "home."
Anyways, right now, Twilight was walking you down a path, but you couldn't see where she was taking you because she had you blindfolded. "Uh, if you don't mind me asking, where are we going?" you asked.
"Just trust me in this, Jax. You're gonna love what we've got in store for you," Twilight insisted. You sighed and just took her word for it and kept blindly following her down the path. To make sure that you were by her side, she kept a good grip on your hand. For what seemed like an eternity, Twilight finally stopped you and helped take off the blindfold, using her trusty magic powers. When your vision was cleared, you were shell-shocked by the sight of Twilight and 16 other mares standing in front of you in skimpy bikinis.
"SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAX!!!" the girls shout in unison, making you jump.
Right then and there, you formed a big smile at this beautiful sight to behold. Anyways, you still couldn't believe how many familiar faces were invited to your party: The Mane 6, Starlight, Tempest Shadow, Princesses Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Skystar, Queen Novo, Vinyl Scratch, Gilda, Cloudchaser and of course, the mare who found you and took you in... Spitfire. All these girls came here just for you on your special day.
"Wow, now this is what I call a real birthday surprise. Thanks a lot, girls!" you replied in shock and awe.
"You're welcome Jax. Come on over, Vinyl brought along her DJ booth so we can party hard," Rainbow said, burying your face into her bikini-covered knockers.
"Well, I wouldn't want to miss dancing to her awesome beats," you replied, earning a thumbs up from Vinyl before she goes to her DJ booth.
"Are you all ready to get this party started?!" Vinyl asked through her mic. You and the girls all cheered in approval, but then Vinyl said "I can't hear you!" Once again, you and the girls cheered even louder. "That's more like it, get ready to shake those sexy asses because it's TIME... TO... PARTYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!" And soon, she turned on her speakers at full blast and play her awesome music.
Cheers rang out and everyone, including you, began shaking your asses to the beat, laughing and having such a wonderful time while Vinyl jammed out in her booth. She danced in sync with her own beats and pointed out to you as a way of her telling you "Happy Birthday."
You couldn't stop yourself from grabbing Spitfire, spinning her towards you and giving her a kiss on the cheek, which caused her to smirk and mash her lips hard on yours before getting her groove on. She turned it up a notch by pointing her ass at you and shaking it all sexy. You were hypnotized by that sweet ass of her could stop from grabbing two handsful of dat ass and smacking her cheeks hard. She smiled back at you, letting you play with her ass roughly and kept dancing to the beat of the songs.
All the other girls grew jealous of you paying attention to only Spitfire. However, that was about to change as you took time off Spitfire and gave some attention to the rest of the girls.
After a few songs, Vinyl stopped the music altogether and called out to everyone. "Alrighty girls, and birthday boy, get your water soakers ready, because it’s time for the annual beach splash competition.”
“Beach splash?” You asked in confusion.
“It’s a special event that we made that involves splashing each other with water, and if you’re the last one to not get splashed, you’re the winner.” Vinyl explained.
"Okay, and I'm assuming we'll be splashing each other, how exactly? We can't go swimming in the ocean, otherwise all of us will lose," you said.
"Oh, that reminds me. I suppose now's the right time to give you your birthday present," Spitfire said, going over to one of the tables. She grabbed one of your presents and handed it to you. You unwrapped your gift and found that it was a water gun in the shape of a gatling gun.
"Oh... hell yeah!” You reply as you look at the heavy water gun. “This is awesome…”
"And it gets even better. Check these out," Pinkie exclaimed as she reached for one of the coolers underneath one of the tables and pulls it out. She opens it up to reveal multiple water guns. Each of them were either in the form of assault rifles, water pistols and pump water guns. Vinyl joined in with the girls and each of the girls got their favorite water guns.
"Alrighty then. Now that we're all geared up, let's... start... SPLASHIIIIIING!!!!!!!!" Vinyl yelled out before all the girls spread out and begin squirting each other and you. You were careful not to get wet, but it was difficult to avoid getting squirted by water guns. But it was a bit easier to dodge the water balloons Pinkie had filled up and brought with her to the party.
Everyone was laughing and screaming with excitement as they tried to wet each other. Soon, Fluttershy, Rarity and Skystar all get squirted... by you. Flutters and Rarity yelped adorably while Skystar shrieked with a cute smile and laughed it off.
"Aww man, you got me," Skystar said.
"I guess I lost.” Fluttershy said
“Oh dear, I guess next time.” Rarity said.
"Good try, ladies. But I've got more cuties I need to beat," you reply before turning to see Gilda, Spitfire and Cloudchaser and barely dodging another water blast from the three. You figured that you would try to circle around the three and take a shot, but you needed to try and find their blind spot first. After taking cover, you look around you and see that they were standing near somewhere you could get a surprise attack on them. 'Alright ladies, you'd better watch out. Jax is gonna be coming for YOU!' you thought to yourself, putting on a confident smirk, ready to claim victory over the other mares.
You managed to slip away from the girls that were still shooting at the area you landed hoping to get the drop on you, but unfortunately for them, you were already gone as you managed to slip away and took cover behind the large rocks where they were. You found some water balloons that Pinkie pie brought in and threw them at the three while shouting at them, “Surprise Motherfucker!!!” and chucking the water balloons at the girls and before they could get the change to react, they get doused with water.
“Dammit!” Gilda groaned.
“So close!” Cloudchaser followed up.
“Oh damn it all!” Spitfire groaned.
“Better luck next time ladies.” You reply as you run past them and give a good spank on their ass cheeks making them jump in surprise.
"Oh-ho, next time, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Gilda shouted, but she had a cocky grin formed her face instead of a very pissed off look. Meanwhile, you decided to be on your way in order to find Twilight and Tempest, quickly finding them in a very different part of the beach. You already had a naughty idea with the way Tempests legs were spread apart. You waited until Twilight turned around and then you rushed forward, then sliding right underneath Tempest between her legs and aimed upwards, squirting Tempest right in her pussy, making her jolt up in response, gasping from the cold water. Next, you aimed for Twilight and squirted her breasts, making her yelp adorably and stumble backwards.
"Hah! Gotcha!" you exclaimed.
“Cheeky bastard!” Tempest said, holding back her anger through her twitchy smile.
“Very funny…” Twilight followed up as she covered her wet breasts and blushed.
“Just wanted to show off a little.” You follow up, getting up from the sandy ground, standing next to the girls and you give them each a hug and a peck on the cheek.
"Tch, you're lucky it's your birthday, Jax," Tempest said, patting you on your shoulder.
"Good game. Now, go get 'em, birthday boy... if you can, this is," Twilight said, quirking an eyebrow and smirking as if she thinks you can't get all of the girls.
"Oh-ho-ho-ho, they're gonna get it alright!" you reply before running off towards the other mares. Your next victim, or victims... those who fall under the category of "royalty.
You go out looking for them and you find them near a rocky field on the beach and so couldn’t find anypony, until your eyes locked on Princess Luna and Celestia. Standing next to them was Queen Novo, Princess Cadance and Starlight Glimmer. These ladies were too smart to take head-on and you were obviously out-numbered, so you had to re-think your current strategy a little. And you knew exactly what to do.
"Operation: Turn 'em Against Each Other" is about to begin," you whispered quietly to yourself. Reaching for your pockets, you pull out one of the water balloons you got from Pinkie's tub and tried to decide which mare should get wet. "Hmm, do I choose the sunbutt... or the moonbutt?"
You switch back and forth until finally, you made your choice and threw your water balloon from behind the rock, causing it to hit the moonbutt's royal flank. However, the balloon didn't pop on her jiggly ass and ended up bouncing off of her ass cheeks and fell splat in the sand. Luna immediately reacted when she felt something hit her rump by yelping and then turning around. She got the wrong idea, thinking her sister did it. Her cheeks puffed up and she blushed in embarrassment.
“You dare attack my royal flank dear sister? Well, let’s see how you like it when I return the favor.” she exclaimed before squirting Celestia's ass, making her yelp, then went for her wings. Celestia screamed and giggled as her large wings were highly sensitive. But as she turned around, she gave her sister a nasty grin.
"Oh Lulu," she said, grinning in such a way that made you cower in fear. "Perhaps you need to be taught a lesson for aiming at my precious royal butt."
While those two were shooting each other with water, you turned your attention to Queen Novo and aimed another water balloon at her, and it was nestled in between her boobs. She turns to her right to see Cadance was whistling and she immediately thought it was her.
“Any reason why you tossed a water balloon at me?” Queen Novo asked while pulling the water balloon from in between her heaving bosom.
“Why would I throw a balloon at you when I had my back turned the whole time?” Cadance asked in confusion, clearly not knowing you were behind all this. While Cadance was looking in Novo’s direction, Starlight was aiming her water gun straight at Cadance and you had another idea that you figured would be extremely funny for you to pull off on the ladies. Before Starlight could even pull the trigger, you shoot Cadance directly on her ass and she jolted upward when the cold water struck her. She turns around to see Starlight looking confused and at the same time scared as she didn’t get to shoot her water gun.
“Trying to get the drop on all of us, are ya? Well you messed with the wrong mare,” She said with a devilish smirk as she aimed her water gun at her and Starlight.
"Hold on, that wasn't me!" Starlight insisted.
"Uh-huh, right. Time to face the music, Starlight. You're all wet," Cadance said, aiming her water gun dead center right at Starlight Glimmer. She ducked and covered as she was getting shot at by Cadance and Novo and you used this opportunity to get the drop on those two while the almight sunbutt and moonbutt had taken each other out so hysterically. You then surprised each of the remaining ladies with a squirt to Starlight's face and then a squirt to Queen Novo's wings. Once they were all out, you jumped with joy.
"Mission accomplished!" you exclaimed, pumping your fists up.
"What?! You mean it was you who did all this?" Starlight asked in surprise.
"You should've seen the looks on your faces when I got Luna and Cadance in the booty and that water balloon landing on Novo's huge melons!" you guffawed.
"I cannot believe you would do something like this, you sneaky little boy! You had the lot of us startled with those sneaky tactics of yours," Novo said, placing her claws on her hips.
"But, you gotta admit, he did get us really good," Cadance giggled.
"Well, I guess that means we're out. Not bad there, Jax," Celestia said, hiding her blistering fury behind that forced smile and it really left you quaking intensely in your knees.
"Yes, but next time, we will be watching our behinds the next time you try something like that again, our dearest homo sapien friend," Luna added.
You take off to find the last four girls. Pinkie Pie, Vinyl Scratch, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash who you saw go behind some palm trees out on the beach. You saw Rainbow Dash flying over head so you figured not to get within her bird’s eye view.
"Hehe, this is gonna be good.” You say to yourself as you figured they would try to plan some kind of sneak attack on you from behind the trees. You do notice Pinkie on one of the palm trees trying to find anyone and you figured she would be the perfect target to start things off. With one last water balloon in your hand, you took aim at the party pony and threw it at her. However, the balloon ended up getting absorbed by her pink, poofy mane, making you blink in surprise.
"What the fuck?" you said to yourself, quirking an eyebrow. Things only got more crazy when she took the water balloon out of her mane and tossed it on her tail, which she threw it in your general direction. You quickly ducked in time, but then heard a splash coming from nearby. You turn towards whoever got hit and saw that it was Vinyl... and it looked like her shades got knocked out off her face. "Oh... shit," you said.
You knew very well that Vinyl was not to be messed with if someone ever messed up her shades in any way, especially with a little harmless water. The DJ pony turned into your general direction, but her eyes could only see Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, who had just shown up.
“These were my best shades!” Vinyl screamed as she looked up at Pinkie who looked down at her confused, wondering why she's mad at her. “Prepare for the end, bitches!” She added as she aimed at the pink party pony who jumped from palm tree to palm tree. You quickly ran away from the pissed-off mare, only to get stopped by the one and only Rainbow Dash.
"And where do you think you're going, hot shot?" Rainbow asked.
“Trying to get away from the hot head that Pinkie set off," you replied.
“Well let’s see if you can outrun me.” She added as she began to circle around you to try and confuse you for a bit and throw you off your game. She would then try to surprise you by dive bombing to see if you would run away from her. But instead at the last second, you run towards her and drop and roll underneath her, catching her off-guard when the daredevil pegasus saw the well-placed palm trees that were placed right where she was gonna crash. She tried to stop, but it was too late. She crashed into the palm trees and her butt was sticking out where she was stuck.
“I was anticipating when you were gonna show off RD.” You say as you walk up and help her get unstuck from the trees and dust her off. Just as she was gonna thank you, you follow up by spraying her.
“Jerk, I’ll get you back for that later.” Rainbow Dash followed up. You figured that she was defeated and you go off to find the remaining three girls and hear a shriek from behind you. You turn around to see Pinkie and Vinyl squirt each other out of the game. Pinkie Pie backed up against a palm tree hard enough for it to drop a fresh coconut right atop her luscious pink boobies.
"Ooh, yummy! A free drink!" Pinkie said. The party pony then reached into her pink, poofy mane and pulled out a straw, then somehow cracked a small hole into the coconut with the straw and began to drink it the milk out of it happily and looking so damn cute doing so.
“Wonder what else she keeps in there.” You say to yourself as you still had one last mare you had to find and that mare was none other than Applejack. You leave the area with the palm trees to find Applejack waiting for you outside and she had her water pistols ready and waiting.
“Howdy Sugarcube…” She greeted with a tip of her hat.
“Howdy to you AJ.” You follow up. “I figured you'd be hiding somewhere I could find you. The only thing is... I’m all out of water balloons and short on ammunition.”
“Same here.” She added. “So why don’t we settle this the old fashioned way?”
Pinkie then pulls out a boombox form her mane and a wild west theme began playing as you and Applejack stare each other down you hands waiting to reach you water guns. The waves crashing as they looked on and then soon afterwards…
“DRAW!!” You and Applejack shout as you reach for your water weapons and pull the trigger. Both you and AJ quickly acted upon instinct, dodging each other's shots. With those last shots, both of you have used up all of the water you had left in your water guns.
"Looks like it's a draw. Not bad, AJ. That was some great shooting," you said.
"Y'all didn't do so bad yerself. But Ah think it's time Ah refuel mahself with some nice, cold water an' with a few ice cubes too, Sugarcube," she replied.
"Yeah, me too. Come on, I'm thirsty," you replied as both of you went to the snack table. You served yourself a cup of water and same with AJ. Then, just as she finally let her guard down, taking a few good sips of her cup of water, you struck the final blow. You quickly wet AJ with the ice cold cup of water in your hand, splashing it in her face, making her gasp.
"Oh, you sneaky son of a gun! Ah'll git you fer that!" AJ shouted, smirking as she tackled you to the ground, but that didn't stop you from letting out a guffaw while she shook you. "Y'all got some nerve gettin' a gal all wet an' cold like that!"
"IT WAS WORTH IT, WOO-HOO!!!" you shouted.
And so the fight had come to a close with you as the champion. Though, some of the mares were upset they didn't win, they still knew that today was fun and they'd want to do this again in the near future.
"Woo now that is what I call having fun," you said between breaths.
"I suppose we'll have to face the facts that we've lost," Luna said.
"Afraid so," Celestia chuckled. "A win is a win. That was a fun game."
"I'll say! I still can't believe he beat us. I even had the perfect strategy to get his ass soaked," Rainbow said, getting a laugh from you and everyone else.
"You win some, you lose some. But I think we had a pretty awesome time here with this whole Splash Tournament and all, wouldn't you agree, captain?" Cloudchaser asked.
"You bet, I haven't had that much fun in years. But call me Spitfire. I only prefer to be called captain when we're at the Wonderbolts' Academy. Anyways, nice job, Jax," Spitfire said.
"U-Umm, girls?" Fluttershy said, in which all the girls look at her. "My umm... my bikini is, umm... h-h-hurting me for some strange reason." she said, blushing as the girls watched in shock as their shy friend's entire bikini was suddenly shrinking. Soon, they all realized that their own bikinis were shrinking. Then before you knew it, they all snapped clean off, leaving all 17 mares butt naked in front of you.
Your reaction was a funny anime nosebleed, followed by a famous iconic yell as you shot up into the air and landed flat on your ass, stunned.
