It Seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time

by Zontan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1229

Things definitely could be worse.

Ponies go on an adventure. It goes a little wrong.

My entry for the second Quills and Sofas Speedwriting contest. The prompt was "Technically not Terrible."

Published 2019-08-22 03:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-08-22 03:40:01 UTC

Chapter 1

It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

Twilight reflected on this fact as she plummeted through the narrow rocky chute. She had time - at least another twenty seconds before she hit the magma below. Rarity certainly hadn’t been eaten yet, Pinkie was nowhere to be found but that hopefully was just Pinkie being Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash couldn’t get upset at being left out of the fun if no one ever told her. This was salvageable. Probably.

“Twilight! You have to help me! It’s an emergency! A super emergency! A mega whopper emergency!”

Twilight looked up from her book. “Pinkie? Is everything alright?”

“No, silly! If it was alright I wouldn’t be saying ‘emergency’ and no one would be writing about today’s events at all, probably.”

“What?”

“Nevermind! I need your help! I promised Maud I’d get her a special rock for her and Mudbriar’s anniversary, but I maaay not have mentioned that I can’t get the rock because it’s magic and also hidden and may or may not require shenanigans. Please please please I need your help it’s super important and also an emergency!”

“Alright, alright, slow down and start from the beginning, Pinkie.”

“So you see, it’s actually quite fascinating. This stone, well, more of a gem really, has just been sitting deep underneath Ponyville for almost a thousand years! Well, if the legends are true, anyway, and Pinkie wants a piece of it - just a little one - as a present for Maud and obviously you can see how important that would be to her-”

Rarity was looking increasingly worried as Twilight continued, especially since it had been at least a minute since last she’d stopped to take a breath. Finally she cut in, for the sake of Twilight’s health. “And what do you need me for, dear?”

“Well, your gem-finding spell, of course. I should be able to get us close to the right spot and deal with anything that could be guarding it, but it might be hidden - well, it’s probably hidden it’s a legendary gem after all, who knows who might want it - and your spell is the best thing we have to narrow down where it really is so please won’t you come it would mean the world to Pinkie.”

Rarity looked over at Pinkie. She was vibrating. Strenuously. “Well… of course, darlings. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Twilight, I don’t recall you mentioning lava when we were getting into this.”

“Technically, it’s magma. We’re underground, after all, and that’s where magma is. It’s not lava until it reaches the surface.”

“Thank you, that makes me feel ever so much better.”

Twilight missed the sarcasm entirely.

Rarity rounded the corner first, still trailing the small piece of her scarf that was not yet a pile of ashes, collapsing against the wall and panting for breath.

“Wow! That was exciting!” Pinkie chimed in from next to her, where she had definitely not been a moment before. “I didn’t know lizards got that big! Boy, was it sure mad!”

“Technically, it was a salamander,” Twilight added from behind them. “A kind of fire lizard. I didn’t think they were native to Ponyville. I wonder how it ended up down here?”

“I wonder… huff, huff, why it tried to kill us!” Rarity shrieked.

“Well, we did wander into its home. It was probably just scared. Come on, we must be getting close.”

“Twilight, this is very… purple.”

Twilight nodded, somewhat enraptured.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it. What do you think it is?”

“It’s so shiny!” Pinkie giggled, bouncing up to the shimmering wall of purple energy and reaching out a hoof.

“Pinkie no!” Twilight managed to snap out of her awe long enough to light her horn and pull Pinkie’s hoof away, ignoring her sad whine. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a barrier like this before, and I grew up with my brother. This has to be the place.” She stepped up to the wall, examining it critically. “It looks like it’s built around a standard shield spell, but it’s got a bunch of other pieces on top of it. Hold on, it might take me a while to work out how to dispel it without anything exploding. Make sure Pinkie doesn’t touch anything.”

“Of course, dear.”

There was a pause.

“Twilight… where is Pinkie, anyway?”

“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEhehehe!”

Rarity’s horn illuminated the large chamber they had found themselves in, slowly panning her head from left to right as she followed the spell, and hoping that they would somehow find Pinkie alongside the gem at the end of it. Stranger things had happened around Pinkie, after all. It therefore took her a moment to realize where the click had come from when the panel depressed underneath her hoof.

There was a moment of silence before Twilight piped up with, “That can’t be good.”

For another moment it seemed like nothing would happen. Then a deafening roar echoed through the chamber, seemingly coming from everywhere at once.

“I concur,” Rarity agreed, before bolting forwards, following the dim lighting of her horn.

“Rarity! Wait! There could be more traps!” Twilight darted after her, spreading her wings and taking off down the tunnel to hopefully avoid any more pressure plates. Rarity was already two bends ahead of her, though, and as she desperately flapped to catch up, she hoped she wouldn’t be too late. She rounded another corner at full speed, and noticed two things at the same time:

One, Rarity was in a chamber ahead of her, frozen solid at the sight of a massive purple dragon glaring down at her, a gemstone clutched in his claws.

Two, there was a beam of light across the path in front of her. She had just enough time to consider that that seemed odd, given how deep underground they were, before she flew through it.

WHUMPF. A panel sprang into being in front of her and she crashed headlong into it. A moment later, something slammed into her back, and she was suddenly falling down a narrow tube in the rock, her legs and wings banging into the edges, far too tight for her to spread them to stabilize herself.

It stood to reason that whoever had designed this place had anticipated pegasi, Twilight mused, as the pool of magma below her grew closer. Her wings already felt bruised and opening them was impossible. She had to admit that it was a pretty clever trap that would have done in most pegasi - probably even Rainbow.

Fortunately, she wasn’t a pegasus. Her horn lit up, and with a flash of purple she was standing next to Rarity. “Unhand her, you-” she began, before pausing.

Rarity looked at her.

The dragon looked at her.

Pinkie looked at her.

“Uhhh… what?”

Pinkie spoke up. “Meet Cruncher! He’s the guardian of the gem, and he hasn’t had any company in aaaaaaages. Apparently no one has gotten close in, like, a million bajillion years, which is nice, because the traps are pretty mean.”

“How did you…?”

“Teleported!”

“Okay. Uh. The gem?”

“He says we can have a piece! And that we should visit again soon!”

Twilight paused again. Then, slowly, she smiled. This hadn’t been a terrible idea after all. Technically.