Twilight's Secret Shouting

by Universal Librarian

Rating: everyone
Tags: Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Slice of Life, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2506

Twilight practices the Royal Canterlot Voice in secret.

Twilight has a secret. Specifically, she's been studying something in secret for the past couple of months, and won't tell anypony what it is that she's doing.

Unfortunately for her, Starlight is curious.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns Contest.

Featured on Equestria Daily, 3/20/20!

Published 2019-11-09 20:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-09 20:30:02 UTC

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

“Check, check, check and… check. There, another checklist finished!”

Starlight sighed with relief as Twilight crossed off the last item on her list. Another day was done in Ponyville and, for a change, they’d actually managed to get everything that had been planned for the day done precisely on schedule.

“Finally,” Trixie huffed. “Now can we get out of here?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “You didn’t have to be here in the first place, Trixie.” Ignoring the stage magician’s grumpy glare, she stood up and stretched, enjoying the feeling of her joints popping after so long sitting down. “Anyway, I’m going to spend some time studying. You two have fun!”

Starlight surreptitiously watched Twilight leave out of the corner of her eye.

“Come on, Starlight,” Trixie pressed. “Let’s get going already!”

“Just a second, Trix,” Starlight said. As quietly as she could, she stepped over to the door and crept along the corridors after Twilight, taking great care not to be seen or heard. Trixie, more than a little confused at her friend’s antics, decided she may as well follow along. After stalking the princess down a few corridors, the pair saw her disappear into a spare room in a lesser-used section of the castle.

Starlight frowned, rubbing a hoof under her chin thoughtfully.

“Uh, Starlight?” Trixie asked, terrifying the eponymous twit who’d apparently forgotten she was there. “I thought your days of stalking Sparkle were over, or are you just doing it for old time’s sake?”

“I’m not stalking her, Trixie,” Starlight insisted when she’d composed herself. “I’m just curious as to what she’s doing in there. She’s been locking herself in that room every single time she’s had a chance for the last two months.”

“Mhm, so you’re ‘not-stalking’ her to find out what she does in her spare time?” Trixie asked flatly, getting a level glare in response. “Look, if you’re that interested why not just ask her?”

“I’ve tried, she keeps dodging the question,” Starlight replied.

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “So? She’s probably just re-shelving another library’s worth of books, or researching the kinds of pottery that were fashionable in some obscure village that was abandoned a thousand years ago.”

Starlight shook her head. “That’s what I thought, too, but she doesn’t let anypony in there, not even Spike. On top of that, she’s cast an incredibly powerful sound-proofing spell on the door and walls.”

“Gee, it’s almost like Equestria’s biggest bookworm doesn’t want to be disturbed while she’s reading,” Trixie deadpanned.

“The sound-proofing doesn’t stop her hearing what’s going on out here, it stops anyone out here hearing what’s going on in there,” Starlight snapped. “It’s almost as if she’ … she…” She pressed a hoof to her forehead as something clicked in her head. “As if she wants to keep something a secret.”

Sighing heavily, Starlight hung her head dejectedly as she reprimanded herself, “Come on, Starlight, you’re supposed to be better than this. If Twilight wants to keep something to herself then you have no business trying to pry it out of her until she’s ready. Who knows, it might even be a birthday present or something she’s preparing in there.” She shook her head and turned to leave. “Come on, Trix, let’s go and get some fresh air. Trixie?” Glancing around to see where her friend had gotten to, her heart leapt into her throat as she spotted Trixie standing right outside the door with a hoof on the handle. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

Trixie threw her an incredulous look. “Seriously? The Twilight Sparkle is up to something shifty? I’ve got to see this!”

“Trixie! No!” Starlight hissed, but the lunatic magician had already pushed the door open and gone inside, leaving her friend in a quandary. Leave Trixie to it and feign complete ignorance when the twit is inevitably discovered, or risk going in after her and dragging her back out. She bit her lip as she considered. “Darn it, Trixie! If this ends up getting me into trouble I swear I’m going to make you regret it!”

Decision made, Starlight hurried over to the door and silently eased it open just enough that she could squeeze herself in before closing it gently behind her. The room was large and open, but the view of most of it was obstructed by a huge whiteboard on wheels that had been plonked just a few paces away from the door.

Trixie was standing behind the board, ear cocked to listen in on whatever Twilight was doing. Starlight frowned and ignited her horn, about to silence the devious little minx and drag her outside, when she was distracted by Twilight’s voice coming from the center of the room.

“Citizens of Equestria! No, that’s not right. Why can’t I get this working?!” Starlight paused as she heard the squeak of a marker on a board, followed by Twilight clearing her voice before trying again, “Citizens of Equestria! Hmmm, maybe… Citizens of Ponyville! No, that’s not it. Rggh! I did it before, why can’t I do it again?!”

Curious despite herself and not entirely realizing what she was doing, Starlight crept up alongside Trixie, and cocked an ear to listen in, too.

Twilight was having trouble. There was no danger, no threat to Equestria or her friends, not even a test that needed studying for, this was simply something that Twilight had set for herself. However, trouble was still trouble, no matter the stakes. Of course, nothing was at stake here, not really. Nothing except Twilight’s pride as a Princess of Equestria.

The marker squeaked loudly as Twilight crossed another failed attempt off the list and scowled up at the title written on top.

The Royal Canterlot Voice.

Twilight had successfully used it once before, during the debacle that followed the publishing of the Friendship Journal, but she hadn’t been able to draw it out again since. An outside observer would wonder what all the fuss was about, perhaps even be concerned that she was putting so much effort into something so silly, which was precisely why she hadn’t told anypony what she was doing. The Royal Canterlot Voice wasn’t necessary any more, but Twilight still felt that, as a princess, it was something she needed to learn.

Glancing at her whiteboards again, Twilight couldn’t hold back a weary sigh. Each was listed with different things that she had tried; everything from visualizing herself in front of a crowd, to focusing on projecting her voice right from her diaphragm, to just plain old shouting, but nothing had worked at all.

“Come on, Twilight, think. Celestia suggested imagining yourself at a big sports game or holding a concert, but neither of those worked. Cadence said to picture yourself calling out to the one you love, which was utterly useless because rupturing my love’s eardrums doesn’t exactly sound romantic. Also, books can’t hear. Luna suggested…” Twilight hummed and tapped a hoof on her chin. “What did Luna suggest again?” She looked around for the whiteboard containing what she needed, then slapped a hoof to her face when she spotted it. “Ah, right. That one.”

Luna’s advice had been simple, clear, and blunt. Get angry. Think of something annoying, something infuriating, and yell about it. Get all of it out of your system in one go. Twilight had deliberately avoided trying it that way so far. Admittedly, it had been sheer annoyance at the unruly mob of ponies outside her door that had fueled her first use of the Voice, but she didn’t like the idea of relying on anger whenever she needed to use it.

Still, when needs must.

“I suppose it’s worth a shot. Okay, think of something annoying, and get it out of your system. Simple.” Taking a deep breath, Twilight slowly began to pace up and down the room.

“Hmmm, something annoying. Spike leaving his comics around where he shouldn’t? No, that’s not really that annoying. Losing the Crown of the Sibling Supreme?” That gave her pause for a moment, but she soon shook her head. “Nah, Spike deserved to win that.”

And so it went on, with Twilight considering various different situations or problems she had come up against over the years and dismissing each of them in turn. Everything was either not annoying or was something she had already accepted and moved on from.

“Why can’t I think of anything annoying?! I’m even getting annoyed at not thinking of anything annoying, but I’m not getting annoyed enough! Ugh!” She threw her hooves up in the air dramatically before sitting down with an angry huff. “Maybe I should go and find Flim and Flam. Being around them would make me angry. Or maybe I should ask Starlight to perform some of her mind magic on me and make me angry, if I can pry her away from Trixie for five minutes.”

It was at that moment that inspiration finally struck. It was a small thing, an insignificant slight in the grand scheme of things, but it was something that had niggled at Twilight far more than she had ever been willing to admit, even to herself. “The Sunset Festival,” she growled. “I would have happily gone with Starlight, I even tried to hint that I wanted to go, but no. That would have been fine, I guess, but why, over everypony else, did you have to go… and pick… TRIXIE?!”

The room shook as the last word boomed out in the Royal Canterlot Voice. Twilight simply sat and blinked in stunned shock for a moment, then her expression shifted into a beaming grin. “I did it! I did it, I did it, I DID IT! HA! I DID IT AGAIN! I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT WHENEVER I WANT, NOW!”

The Princess of Friendship clapped her hooves together excitedly, not noticing the two somewhat discombobulated unicorns still hiding behind one of her whiteboards. Quivering with glee, Twilight got back to her hooves and pranced around, eager to practice her new-found ability some more. “Oooo what should I say next? Oh! I know!” She swept her hair back and struck a pose reminiscent of her favorite Wonderbolt. “Guess which Princess just got even more AWESOME!”

The Voice seemed to flip a switch in Twilight, who giggled as she went through light-hearted imitations of most of her friends.

“CIDER! COME AND GET YOUR CIDER, HERE! AH SURE DO LOVE MAH APPLES!”

“DARLING, THIS IS THE WORST! POSSIBLE! THING!”

“I’M JUST SO… uh, actually, this doesn’t really work for Fluttershy, does it? Oh, hang on, maybe… YAY!”

“Nah, doesn’t work for Fluttershy. Hmmm…” Twilight paused as she considered, then, “SPIKE, TAKE A NOTE!” She giggled behind a hoof, then gasped as a naughty idea suddenly sprang into her mind. A catchphrase, to be more specific. The owner would probably be furious if they ever caught wind of it, but the walls were soundproofed…

Clearing her throat Twilight reared up on her hind legs and threw her fore-hooves wide, belting out, “BEHOLD! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TWILIGHT HAS LEARNED A NEW TRICK!”

Wrapped up in her own laughter, Twilight was blissfully unaware of the little soundproof bubble that a certain friend conjured around a certain stage magician’s head to mute her indignant screech.

Slowly getting herself under control, Twilight realized that it was time to finally let her friends in on what she had been doing in secret for the last two months. She could simply call them together and tell them, of course, but for this little thing, she decided that she wanted to do something a little special. “PINKIE!”

Pinkie Pie popped up from inside a plant pot in the corner and snapped a salute. “Ready for orders!”

Twilight thrust out a hoof in an authoritative manner. “I require a party, do you think you can handle it?”

“Can do!” Pinkie snapped another salute and jumped fully out of the plant pot, pronking off towards the door. She waved as she passed by the whiteboard that was in the way. “Hi, Starlight! Hi, Trixie! La, lala, lala.”

A ringing silence remained in the party pony’s wake. Her last words lodged in Twilight’s brain, sending an icy chill down her spine while, paradoxically, heating her face to near boiling point. Jerkily turning her head towards the door, she used her magic to wrench the whiteboard aside, revealing two unicorns that froze like a rabbit before a runaway cart.

“Uh… this totally isn’t what it looks like,” Starlight said with an unconvincing attempt at an innocent grin.

Twilight just glared at them, a vein in her temple throbbing and wisps of smoke curling from her mane as her temper swiftly reached critical mass.

“She’s gonna blow! Hoof it!” Trixie yelled, whipping out a smoke bomb and throwing it at the floor. Acting on instinct, Starlight turned tail and galloped out of the room, hot on the heels of her trouble-making friend.

Trembling with embarrassment-fueled rage, Twilight allowed them all of a split-second’s head start before she teleported outside. Mere seconds later the two barreled out of the castle’s front door, then desperately skidded to a halt as they spotted the wrathful Princess blocking their path.

“DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!” Twilight thundered as Trixie tried to run again, forcibly grabbing the attention of every creature between the castle and the Everfree Forest.

“Twilight, please, I know you’re upset, but I can explain,” Starlight ventured.

Twilight turned a glare on her that could rival Fluttershy’s worst. “Very well, I’m listening.”

Starlight opened her mouth to reply, then sighed and hung her head in shame. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on you, I was just so obsessed with finding out what you were hiding in there that I didn’t realize what I was doing until it was too late. As a good friend, I should have just accepted that you didn’t want anypony to know until you were good and ready.”

“Y-yeah, what she said,” Trixie added.

Twilight eyed them both critically for several long seconds. “That sounds like a good friendship lesson. Such a good one, in fact, that I expect a full hoof-written essay on it to be handed in before school starts, tomorrow. From both of you.”

The two of them quickly agreed, Trixie only after Starlight gave her a not-so-subtle nudge, then departed for wherever it was they were originally planning to go. Twilight watched the two of them start to bicker before rolling her eyes and turning to leave, herself, only to see all of her friends lined up and staring at her.

“So… uh… mind filling us in on what that was about?” Applejack asked.

Twilight just groaned and slapped a hoof to her forehead, deciding that it was probably in her best interest to never take advice from Luna again. “I’ll tell you at the party.”

Author's Note

Just a silly little story I've had rattling around in my head for a some time now. Enjoy!